#no other season has given me this much emotional turmoil

[giyuulatte]

i don’t like season 5 i fear

[pinchofhoney]

Sorry I'm invading your inbox again but I wanna see what you do with this song. Can be with any character. I just wanna see what amazing thing you come up with (when you have the time of course)

the broken self

carlisle cullen x fem!reader

word count: 1.1k

warning: esme simply does not exist in this one, mention of the tough past, our reader is not a vampire and i don't think she's aware of what carlisle is

summary: If I could start again, I would find a way. Now, you've been given the chance, so what's your next move?

a/n: hey, hello!!<33 thank you so much for your request, as always! in case you don't like what i have prepared, i'm sorry. in my defence, i didn't know from the very beginning which way it was going to go and i've always been pretty terrible at interpreting things (me writing for twilight was not on my bingo list for this year, but the autumn weather outside the window has made me do so. happy hua hua hua hua huooooaaa season!!)

pages that may interest you: masterlist ♡ taglist ♡ who i write for

also, my requests are open!

gif is not mine, credit to the owner

The Cullen house was bathed in the soft, fading light of the setting sun, casting long, amber shadows that stretched across the polished wooden floors. It was a striking contrast to the usual vitality that filled the grand halls and spacious rooms, typically bustling with the presence of the vampire family. But on this particular evening, the house felt still and serene, as if time had momentarily paused.

With each step down the wooden stairs, you could feel the texture of the handrail beneath your fingertips. You ran your hand gently along its length, a small ritual to dispel the dust that had managed to settle on it in the absence of bustling activity. The house seemed to sigh in response, as if it too welcomed your presence in the calmness.

As you made your way through the dimly lit corridors, you reached the doorway of Carlisle's study. The soft glow of a desk lamp illuminated the room, casting a warm and inviting aura within. There, in the center of the study, sat Carlisle, his slender frame framed by the golden light.

Carlisle looked up from the book he had been leafing through. He welcomed you with a faint smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, but held the warmth of familiarity.

As you stood in the entrance of the room, bathed in the warm, inviting glow, your mind churned with thoughts that had plagued you for far too long. You couldn't help but contrast the serenity of this moment with the turmoil that had defined your past. In this peaceful space, it was easy to forget the chaos you once reveled in, the empire of dirt you had built brick by brick.

Your eyes met Carlisle's, his gaze always so kind and understanding, yet you couldn't escape the unease gnawing at your heart. You had come so far since those dark days of your past, but the shadows of your former self still clung to you like an unshakable curse. You'd worked hard to change, to become someone unrecognizable even to yourself, but the weight of your past sins still weighed heavily on your conscience.

As you gazed into Carlisle's warm eyes, you couldn't help but remember who you used to be. A master of deception, a manipulator of hearts, you had once reveled in the power you held over others. Lies had flowed from your lips like sweet poison, carefully crafted to serve your own desires. You had toyed with people's emotions, played with their feelings as if they were nothing more than pawns in your game.

The memories of your past self weighed on you like an anchor, threatening to drag you back into the abyss you had fought so hard to escape. You had come to Carlisle seeking redemption, seeking a chance to be better, but a gnawing fear lingered in the depths of your soul. What if you were incapable of truly loving someone? What if your capacity to hurt ran deeper than you dared to admit?

These doubts, these insecurities, they clawed at your heart, and you couldn't help but wonder if Carlisle would eventually become another casualty of your brokenness. In his presence, you felt a warmth you had never known before, a genuine kindness that seemed to radiate from his very being. It was a stark contrast to the false facades you had once worn so effortlessly, a reminder of the person you aspired to become.

“Y/N?” the sound of your name suddenly pierced the cocoon of your thoughts, snapping you back to the present. You blinked a few times, returning your focus to Carlisle, who had been regarding you all along with his gentle, unwavering gaze. “Is everything all right?” he inquired, genuine concern evident in his voice. A faint furrow appeared between his brows, underscoring the authenticity of his worry.

You quickly composed yourself, as if slipping into a familiar role. “Oh, yes,” you responded swiftly, putting on a mask of laughter. With a gentle smile, you began to make your way toward Carlisle's desk. “I just got lost in my thoughts,” you added, your tone light and carefree.

The last thing you wanted was for Carlisle to glimpse the chaos within you, to see the shards of your past self that still clung to your soul. The fear that he might stop caring about you if he knew who you used to be was a heavy burden to bear.

As you continued your charade of nonchalance, a wave of hypocrisy washed over you. It was absurd, really, that you, who had always been the one to leave others when you grew bored, now found yourself terrified of abandonment.

“What are you reading?” you asked, your voice casual and genuinely curious as you circled Carlisle's desk and stood behind him, placing your hands gently on his cold shoulders. You were truly interested in the lecture he had been engrossed in, hoping to engage him in conversation and keep him from delving too deeply into your own thoughts.

Carlisle looked up from the pages of the book, a warm smile gracing his lips. “Just some recent research on rare genetic disorders,” he replied, his voice tinged with enthusiasm. “It's fascinating how people's understanding of these conditions continues to evolve.”

You smiled in response to Carlisle's passion. His love for his work was one of the many things that drew you to him, a stark contrast to your past life where you had feigned interest for the sake of appearances.

“That does sound fascinating,” you said genuinely, your hands still resting lightly on his shoulders. “You always manage to make the things I don’t even understand intriguing," you laughed softly.

Carlisle's smile widened at your compliment, and he leaned back slightly in his chair, allowing your hands to linger on his shoulders. “Thank you,” he replied warmly.

A comfortable silence settled between you, the weight of unspoken words and fears still present but momentarily pushed aside by the connection you shared. There was this strange, unexplainable attraction to this man, an irresistible force that dragged you closer to him, just like when a magnet pulls things together.

After a moment, you broke the silence, your tone casual. “You know,” you began, “if you're not too busy, maybe we could go for a walk later. It’s already dark outside, but I think the weather is lovely, and it's been a while since we had some quality time together.”

Carlisle's eyes brightened at the suggestion, and he nodded eagerly. “That sounds like a wonderful idea,” he agreed. “I'd love to.”

[fanfic-lover-girl]

Sorry but how was Aang “Barely Competent” in Firebending?

It Took Zuko until season 2 to get anywhere near Aang’s level and Aang’s been training for a month while Zuko’s been training for years. Love him or hate him, there’s no denying that it’s clear Aang is the better Firebender.

Zuko can only make 2 fire blasts at the same time. Aang? 3 without avatar state. Zuko took years to get more than smoke. Aang? Took a day.

Iroh admits Zuko was still at Basic Level in Firebending during The First episode. Zuko on Aang’s Firebending? Admits that redirecting Lightning was the last thing that he wants to teach. Considering Zuko’s and Aang’s battles, Iroh and Zuko were likely right about their respective pupils skills.

Hi anon. I regretted that reblog like 5mins after posting. Would you be happy if I just said you can believe what you want and call it a day??

Me neither I suppose. Sigh. I'll try to convey my thought process when I made that post. First, let me address your points.

how was Aang “Barely Competent” in Firebending

Aang trained with fire the least. Of course, with more time, Aang would master it but by the end of the show, Zuko is still better at firebending by virtue of time/experience.

It Took Zuko until season 2 to get anywhere near Aang’s level and Aang’s been training for a month while Zuko’s been training for years. Love him or hate him, there’s no denying that it’s clear Aang is the better Firebender.

Just to clarify, you are saying Aang at the end of the show is on par with season 2 Zuko? I don't think you can objectively say that. We don't see Aang using firebending seriously in a fight until the finale. And if I correctly recall the fight against Ozai, fire was not his main element. I think he used air and earth the most in that fight. It would have been cool to see fire being used more by him given the power boost of the comet though. And even if season 2 Zuko was on the same level as season 3 Aang, you need to consider that Aang was taught the true way of firebending from the get-go (well there was Jeong-Jeong of course but that was hardly serious training). Being a master is about how many times you failed and how much you learned from those failures. With Zuko's experience, he will always have an understanding of firebending that Aang will lack. My guy Zuko has failed A LOT.

Zuko took years to get more than smoke.

Huh?? Is this meant to be a joke?? Was this said in a comic?? If so, those are hardly canon to me.

Iroh admits Zuko was still at Basic Level in Firebending during The First episode.

Well, Zuko must have advanced quickly anon! With the basics, he was able to hold his own against Zhao (whom Iroh claimed to be a master) twice. He beat Zhao in the agni kai too. Zuko was able to keep up with Zhao in the Northern Water Tribe when Zuko was not at his best. Considering Katara almost murdered him and he still had injuries from his ship's explosion. Zuko is able to fight against Earth kingdom soldiers and fight the Rough Rhinos. Zuko has demonstrated numerous times that he is an above-average firebender.

And that was just season 1! Zuko has changed so much since season 1. Zuko was at the basics because Iroh was practically trying to reteach Zuko the fundamentals! Also, Zuko was gravely injured. I can only believe that Zuko had to relearn how to fight with limited vision and dealing with all that emotional turmoil.

Zuko on Aang’s Firebending? Admits that redirecting Lightning was the last thing that he wants to teach.

Once again, Zuko was on a limited time schedule. He was basically giving Aang a crash course. It's almost like a student learning the most important topic while they cram for the exam the next day. Even if Zuko had other things to teach Aang, redirecting lightning is way more important for Aang's survival. If Zuko was truly able to teach Aang everything in a few weeks, it paints firebending as an inferior bending style. Aang even admits in the finale that he needs more time to master firebending. He was planning to skip the comet because he was not ready. I don't believe in the opinion that students can't become better than their masters. But Aang was still learning by the end of season 3. Just being Aang's teacher gives Zuko an advantage in a fight.

Other small points:

Fire is not Aang's native element. Aang is always most comfortable with air. Aang does not dedicate the same effort Katara, Toph and Zuko do to their native elements. Aang was the better waterbender in season 1 (at least when it came to learning new techniques) but Katara was the one who self-taught herself those techniques. Even though as the avatar he should have been working harder than Katara to master waterbending, she overtakes him by a mile by the end of season 1. Aang and Katara were classmates. If anything Aang should be teaching Katara given he was able to start classes before her due to Pakku's sexism. She should not have to teach him anything. All this to say is that Zuko will have a greater passion for firebending compared to Aang. Zuko does not have to worry about other elements and Aang proves that raw talent is meaningless unless it is backed by dedication and hard work.

Firebending has a stronger symbolism for Zuko compared to Aang. Fire was a roadblock in Aang's avatar journey but firebending literally shaped Zuko's character and played a huge role in his redemption arc. A lot of his family issues revolve around Azula being a better firebender than him. When Zuko redeems himself, he has to relearn the meaning of firebending symbolizing the pivoting of his character. Learning the true meaning of fire is also important for him to lead the fire nation into a better future as the new firelord. Firebending has so much more thematic importance for Zuko than Aang.

By the end of the show, Zuko is able to rival Azula in combat. The idea of season 3 Aang lasting long in a firebending match with Azula is hilarious to me. Azula was able to give Aang a run for his money with the help of his more competent elements. Imagine Aang fighting Azula in the last agni kai. The girl would kill him.

Those are my main thoughts. I think Zuko is a better firebender. If anything else comes to mind, I will add to this but I am not in the mood to have a long reblog debate about it. If you still think Aang is the better firebender, I really don't care. I refuse to be stressed out on Tumblr again.

All of Aang's teachers are better benders in their own respective elements than Aang. That's just how it is. LOK gave me no indications that Aang became better than Zuko or the others either.

I will say that the gap in ability between Aang and Zuko is the smallest compared to Toph and Katara though. Aang may be able to catch up with Zuko (especially if Zuko never learnt lightning) if he works hard at it but there is no way in hell Aang will ever match Toph and Katara.

[worldtourmike]

Some things that people don’t talk about often from Total Drama that I think the characters are definitely still healing from:

(Let me preface this by saying, if this were NOT an absolutely batshit insane animated show, I’d have much different feelings about it, but I have to understand that this is all fictional and animated. That being said, even then, I shouldn’t look so far into these characters’ trauma but, who’s to stop me?)

Courtney has a multitude of traumatic moments from the show, but I’d like to point out the fact that Heather WHIPPED her multiple times during the dogsled race in World Tour. I’ll be following her up in a whole other post, strictly dedicated to her.

DJ and his “curse” made me feel awful for him, and genuinely love his character even more. He didn’t deserve to go through all that emotional turmoil like he did, just because of a mummy dog in Egypt.

Bridgette and the way Geoff was absolutely horrid to her. She deserves so much better. (And of course how she got stuck to a pole, and thrown out of the plane with it still STUCK.)

Lindsay being thrown around like a rag doll by Heather throughout season 1. And the way she was only seen as the “token dumb blonde” by almost all her teammates in every single season she was in…

Izzy and her mental state is severely overlooked. Comparing her to the way the fandom treats characters like Mike, Trent, Courtney, and, Gwen. She needs help and support as well. As “crazy” as the writers made her, she had some redeeming qualities, and was an interesting character who deserved to be treated better by her teammates.

Dawn being completely and utterly blindsided by her team despite their lack of evidence to prove her truly guilty, all the while everyone on the show treated her like shit.

TRENT and his OCD Jesus Christ the way the writers handled this has pissed me off since I was literally like, 6 years old. (As someone who has OCD.) As much as I love Gwen, she could’ve been so much more understanding and caring toward Trent despite their rocky relationship. She could have been so much better and I believe they could’ve have a good (ish) ending if not for the writers…

Tyler and the way he was so often physically injured, to the point of being in a wheelchair in one episode of the aftermath. I guess you can say almost every character has been injured once or twice, but Tyler stands out to me since everyone sees him as the “athletic” type, and not as someone who would often get hurt, even if his character trope is the clumsy jock.

Sierra being horribly burned by the jet explosion. In all reality, I can’t imagine how grueling her recovery had to have been, all while still dealing with the mental pain of how she was treated by Heather the whole season, and everything else of course. (I like to pretend she got slightly better over the years and Cody was there for her during her recovery, and that they became pretty good friends. If any consolation.)

Alejandro, like Sierra, suffered intense burns after his incident with the volcano post S3. And the fact that he was unwillingly trapped in a robot suit for a year had to have given him some issues. I mean, they actually talk about it in the show, but not to a satisfactory extent. (I also believe him and Sierra bonded after their recovery.)

Mike and the way he was treated by Scott the entirety of ROTI. And Cameron… despite his caring nature, wasn’t the biggest of help for him during the season. (Though I love Cameron, he wasn’t great to Mike about his D.I.D) And then of course, the way he was imprisoned in his own mind for the second half of All-Stars by Mal. (Also, never will forgive the writers for how they handled D.I.D representation. I pretend the reset button does not exist.)

Zoey as much as she loves Mike, you have to admit she was mistreated during their time in ROTI. She was such a standup girl for him against Scott, and was willing to do anything for him. (Which I admire about her!!) But it doesn’t eliminate the fact that she was also traumatized in her own way by everyone around her and Mal.

Dave. (Before you all begin to riot, hear me out.) I believe he probably suffered from SEVERE emotional attachment issues, and Sky was someone he could connect with, someone that he could see a decent relationship with despite their aggravation towards each other. I think despite his flaws, Sky could’ve been a bit more gentle with letting him down.

Leshawna. I will never shut about how she deserves to win a season. She was a full team player, and despite all she did, she was constantly oppressed by her teammates and mocked for being a bit bossy. (I mean, rightfully so, who else was gonna help their team win? Besides Heather maybe…) She really had such a great personality and cared deeply about Harold and her friends. I think she deserved better all around, especially in season 1.

Topher seem like he had an extreme case of “rich boy syndrome” to me, from a bystander point of view. And maybe a mild case of impersonation issues, along with self esteem problems, which could be a very logical and realistic explanation to why he connected to Chris so heavily, as someone to look up to. I think the way he was voted off was pretty unfair, but I also believe he could’ve handled himself in the game better.

Samey. I feel like I shouldn’t have to say much. She was constantly put down by her sister, all her life. And in the show? The same. Not even getting to be her own person and reduced to a mere extension of Amy.

Cody probably (definitely…) has some trauma related to being stalked by Sierra throughout S3. I will never blame him for the way he EVER felt about her, or talked to her at certain points of the show. Because his personality and the way he acted showed that he did really care for her in the end.

Heather was raised in such a toxic environment, that Total Drama was such an intense culture shock for her that it practically took her entire career on the show for her to learn about other people that were vastly different from her outside of her circle (Saying this because of her parents, and the fact she was probably raised in a rich neighborhood to begin with, so she may not have ever been used to seeing less fortunate or different people.) And I highly doubt that her parents were there for her as a kid. So when Alejandro, Gwen, Courtney, Owen, and others showed her genuine friendship and kindness, she didn’t know how to react.

Other slightly notable moments that are worth mentioning:

Scarlett and her decent into madness.

Beth and the way she was treated based on her looks in S1.

Shawn and his completely unmentioned OCD and extreme anxiety and addiction for apocalypse planning.

Justin being overly (Dare I say objectified?) due to his good looks, and basically being reduced to that.

Brick being a military kid, probably trying his entire life to compensate for the fact that his father may not have been around much.

Jo and Brick’s rivalry challenging her superiority complex, she deserves to be told she’s doing well, and that someone is proud of her.

Noah’s smarts were not NEAR appreciated enough after all he helped his team with throughout the show, and how he was a laughing stock of his team more often than not.

Characters that are gonna get their own more in-depth post about this down the road include:

Heather, Mike, Courtney, Duncan, Gwen, and Trent.

[closetsof-backlogged-dreams]

okay let’s do more

thoughts on gwen + lancelot

ohhhhhhhhh, this is a good one—so many thoughts on these two.

okay, in order to ~properly~ give you my thoughts on them, i also have to give you my thoughts on arthur and gwen. more specifically, season one arthur and gwen.

when we meet lancelot in season one, i'm sorry, but it doesn't look like arthur and gwen are going to be together at all. there are several points (too many, tbh) where arthur arrests her or someone related to her (like her father) without even flinching. the only reason he ever intervened was due to morgana initiating it and bringing athur into the conversation. overall, arthur really doesn't care about gwen. there's nothing wrong with it. it's not his fault; he just doesn't know her. he cares about people like merlin and morgana far more.

enter: lancelot. i will admit, the part where lancelot is supposed to fall in love with gwen is arguably terrible. horrible. abysmal, if you will. but the actual love? *whistle* it's awesome. (and to be fair, arthur's and gwen's was pretty bad too. obviously wayy better, but still bad.) they're so sweet and loving to each other, and you can really tell that they would make such a good couple with good communication and just a healthy relationship in general. they could have been so great, but they ditched gwen and lancelot for arwen. remember, up until this point, arthur did not give two shits about gwen. then suddenly, out of the blue, they fall in love in an episode in season two after showing no signs of this in season one?? especially when the only relationships that would have made sense when building off of season one were gwen and lancelot??? i'm sorry, it just doesn't make sense to me.

but that isn't even my biggest problem with all this. my biggest issue with both gwencelot and arwen is that they gave us this dramatic love triangle and did... absolutely nothing with it.

i'm sorry, where's the drama? where's the emotional turmoil? where's the who could i possibly choose of these two completely different men, the blonde one or the brunette one? they set up a scenario that should have had so much drama and angst and just completely ditched it in favor of making lancelot leave and not return until like season three for AN EPISODE before FINALLY coming back semi-permanently in season four. like. what?? but honestly, that could've been fine, if gwen expressed any kind of loyalty or devotion to lancelot!! of course they weren't in a relationship, so she wasn't under any moral obligation to, but gwen obviously really cared about him. it felt so odd to me when the show writers just dropped gwencelot like a hot potato so they could pick up arwen and show it off to everybody, like baby simba in the lion king. yk what im talking about. it just felt so out of character to me.

even worse? gwen and lancelot never once have a real conversation about their feelings!! there's one verge-of-death "i love you" (kind of) from lancelot in season two, but again, he disappears and gwen never has the chance to really communicate to him whether she reciprocates or not (which she probably did.) then, when lancelot comes back again, her and arthur are together and that whole drama isn't really addressed.

overall, i think gwen and lancelot could have been such a great relationship if it had just been given the time to properly grow and develop. instead, they only gave it to us in tiny patches without actually developing the relationship, so all we were left with was this sad mess.

[prettyflyshyguy]

WE'RE FINALLY HERE. WE'RE FINALLY AT S3E7 - FRESH BLOOD

And you KNOW ya girl has a lot more to say about this one so let's just get this party started shall we.

And now that I have CONTEXT I have THOUGHTS

The tragedy of this character is awful. But I'm appreciative for what it allows as a narrative device (as much as it is a shame that this random woman is negated to being that, and only that; a device) - after they've SEEN vampires be good and live a peaceful life. It's harsh that they just cull her off and decide that its a decision they are allowed to make.

This will surely not come back to haunt them when Dean gets infected in three seasons time.

I am a big sucker for anytime this show has them Decide something for others, only to be hit with "Oh no now its happening to us" and the immense emotional turmoil that causes.

Going to lean into this a lot more in the fic I think.

Bella hon I love you, but seeing Dean give a genuine threat because the man's got one thing to lose now and he's not letting anything take it away while he's still alive; marvelous.

Throw one too many low blow shots about him being no better than you and maybe just maybe he starts to act like it.

BLOOD JAR BLOOD JAR BLOOD JAR

Now I did skip to watch this episode cause I can't help myself, I like vampires too much and spn hits the spot. Having said that re-watching this with context on GORDON has made it a lot more interesting.

Now I really. Like. Gordon. He's a great antagonist. His voice, his mannerisms, the way he is so uncomfortably unsettlingly calm. Phenomenal. He has some really iconic lines and moments in this show and he's such a good foil to Dean.

Absolute epitome of "become the thing you despise" but deep end side of it. Like he's become so consumed by obsession and righteousness in his actions and his drive is just too strong.

I enjoyed that this ep looks at the primal survival instinct. And the duality of the Winchester's (mostly Sam) attitude towards Gordon being; man's gotta go, contrasted with the way Gordon talks to the Vampire. It's the gradual build up of detachment. Gordon is a monster. So are the Winchesters. None of them want to see that in themselves. The Vampire is too. They're all just coming at it from different angles. Each party has deep rooted trauma and pain, and each are dealing with it in a terrible way.

Sam's uncomfortable attitude shift of "It's Gordon or us" is harrowing. Dean being the more hesitant one is interesting. He's the first to chop off the head of a infected woman who's confused, upset, and pleading for help - but Gordon makes him uncomfortable (despite everything) and Sam's cold cut attitude doesn't help. I mean they've left him alive twice and each time he's only gotten more ruthless.

Dean cracks a joke about Sam not pushing back against killing him, but that feels far more like Dean fishing for Sam's conscience because he's unsure what the right thing to do is because Gordon isn't by definition an 'evil thing' in the lore books. Sam's no longer the grounding rock.

Oh if it were so easy.

You can really see they were dabbling with the transformation scenes in this and they just came in SWINGING when S6 rolled around.

the SPN vampire teeth are growing on me (HAR. HAR. HAR.) regrettably.

Ok so. This really begs the question. How much willpower does it take to resist. How much does that differ, per person? Is this Gordon just full SNAPPING upon being turned? Does he just immediately relent due to him already being on the brink? He has the most intense and unhinged attitude of all the hunter's that've been given primary screen time, so maybe its fair to say that part of him just completely caved in once he got hit with the overstimulation + hunger combo.

I think back to his introduction episode and how he talked to Dean about the hole inside yourself, like the pit or void you'll never fill or satisfy. How he used that to drive himself forward. Working solo, without a rock to anchor himself to (Dean has Sam) maybe Gordon just completely lost himself in this initial phase after turning.

This also echoes the S6 moment when Dean visits Lisa and also gets violent. Dean also loses control but ALMOST bites her. He still throws her and Ben around like they're ragdolls, which he clearly never intended to do.

Once again, great shots in this show. However I do wonder if its just my personal bias, or if there is a bit of an imbalance of woman corpse. Don't want to throw a stone from a glass house though. Just feels weird not mentioning it when I'm like "WOW SICK SHOT" and its. This picture.

Anyway. More to the point. "You don't understand. I was desperate. You ever felt desperate? I've lost everyone I ever loved. I'm staring down eternity alone."

Now THIS is what I'm talking about. It's so fucking human. What a shame, we're forced to see ourselves in something we deeply and truly want to believe isn't like us at all. Oh Dear. Reconcile THAT Dean you little shit.

This is so nicely echoed in S6 - the vampire is done, he's lost everything and he'd just rather have it end. The nihilism, the bottom of the pit. The end of the downward spiral.

Gordon's turn on Eternal Damnation and he wants to get off.

Once again I deeply enjoy the way the Hunters just drop everything so cold when something happens to someone. Including Sam and Dean in that, they struggle cause they're younger, less experienced, less jaded. The older hunters are fucking brutal. Gordon's partner, despite genuinely believing Sam has to die, just full send tells Gordon "No I can't let you take out Sam first. I need to kill you right now."

Despite everything, the common goal that they both wholeheartedly believed in, that they both gunned for so hard, thrown out the window when one is turned. Hung out to dry.

And how quickly they all turn on each other when this happens.

Anyway I think lore wise the vampires get stronger once turned, but I'm guessing drinking human blood enhances this further. Making notes for myself cause Dean's on a strictly vegetarian diet and this complicates matters for him of course.

But yeah, jesus, Gordon.

Anyway

Now THIS is something I gotta remember - Dean becomes a fucking menace when he's scared. Jokes get more intense, he has no filter, does not stop at nothing even despite the increasing protesting of the people around and closest to him and he full disconnects from loved ones.

"No. I'm a monster."

UGH. Compels me.

It's the resignation that's so fun I think. Like he just snaps, decided Yeah, this is it. Eats some people, then goes back to the original plan of Kill Sam. But its the way he leans into being the monster. Gordon was a mess before, but now its like he's truly just let go of a part of himself as he truly believes there's no alternative. Every vampire he's met and killed he saw as a monster and nothing more. Despite one, in front of him, exercising self control, he's still committed to viewing them as only monsters.

Once turned he can only accept the singular reality that he is a monster, and so, he does nothing to combat it. He embraces it.

Is it easier to kill him when he's a vampire? Or was it a further reminder that he was, and still is, a person?

Closing thoughts: good ep, easily one of my favorites. But you already knew that.

Love you Gordon you bloody legend.

[cookinguptales]

i agree so much! i had hopes up until 4.09 that the writers were going somewhere with all of these (seemingly) loose threads they've been dangling. but now... it seems like we were just reading into things. i still like the show. but i've seen so many posts bending over backwards trying to convince ppl 4.09 was brilliant writing actually, that it wasn't supposed to be funny or make us laugh and that the lack of humor was by design and not rushed writing or editing. "i'm going to write an episode that is so humorless" said NO comedy writer ever! it failed to balance the dark with the comedy. but ppl defending it saying "that's the point!" give me big annie from community vibes like "the dean is a genius. he has to be. if he isn't i've given two weeks of my life to an idiot and that's unacceptable. therefore he's a genius and i will die protecting his vision!" like... it's ok to admit sometimes writers mess up or things get cut in editing or a subplot gets thrown out that makes things less satisfying that originally envisioned

Well... with the caveat that I haven't been reading the tag or other people's meta very much, nor have I seen much of Community...

I do agree that I just don't buy the theory that the episode wasn't supposed to be funny. They've brought up deep emotional turmoil and such before on this show, but always in a way that was funny. That's one of the greatest gifts that the writers usually have -- managing to pair serious topics with jokes that will make you just about cry laughing.

I feel like there would have been ways to actually signal that this wasn't supposed to be funny episode. Y'know, seeing Marwa's last moments. Getting hints that there might still be something in there left of her. Lingering more on the psychological trauma this might've done to Freddie, dick as he is. Seeing more lasting effects of any kind, honestly. Hell, even just engaging with some of the themes and characterization choices they've been making over the course of the season would have gone a long way in making this episode feel weightier.

But that doesn't happen. Plus, I mean... the jokes are there. They're all throughout the episode. They're just not particularly funny, nor do they distract from the very unfunny (but not serious, either?) shit that's going on. We don't really get any wham moments that aren't paired with jokes that just... don't really land.

I think the closest moments we get to things that feel purposefully not funny aren't in the writing at all, nor the framing, nor the direction. They're all Harvey, who decided he was going to play Guillermo's trauma as straight as humanly possible in an episode that otherwise treated the situation very lightheartedly.

Even that, I think, was probably supposed to be funny to a degree. Like they've tormented Guillermo tons of times before, made him cry, hurt him, almost killed him... and they usually manage to tell him he looks like wet undies at the same time. I think Guillermo's genuine emotions were kind of supposed to be a contrast to the silliness and they were supposed to heighten the humor. They just... didn't.

Like... Guillermo asking if they could turn the camera off hurt, but it's paired with the Freddies' silly Palatine Hill conversation. Guillermo lying in bed desolate hurt, but it's paired with Nandor's dumbass "and so he could have sex with him."

They are attempting to pair humor with these scenes, just like they always have. That humor just isn't funny enough to cut through the very real misery of it all.

To me, there was a surreal sort of disconnect while watching it, and it didn't feel purposeful. I didn't think "oh, they put this moment in for a record-scratch moment; they put this moment in to make us question this character, etc." I thought "oh... they don't realize that this is a topic that isn't funny to most of the viewer base."

Marwa was the biggest offender, obviously, and I really disagree with anyone who said that we were supposed to see her exit as horrifying. We did, obviously, but her treatment in the episode was such a fucking footnote that I think the writers saw her as a disposable plot device and assumed we would, too. But the implications of how they disposed of her were... a lot.

I'm thinking about what I think is probably the best use of "you were supposed to be laughing but you're not supposed to be laughing now" in any piece of media I've ever seen, and I think it was probably Disney's animated Mulan? Where they're singing a lighthearted song about war only to be confronted with the ugly reality of it right in the middle of the song. They stop singing. They do not sing again for the rest of the movie. This moment is treated as deadly serious and no one is telling any jokes, nothing silly or magical or hijink-y is happening. It's just desperately sad.

And no, that did not happen in WWDITS. Nandor kept being a dumb puppy whose stupidity we were supposed to laugh at. Laszlo returning with Colin was segued into a joke about the clown sucking his own dick. Guillermo's final stab in the heart was the HEIGHT of WWDITS's sort of weird hijinks dark humor.

Just... none of it was funny. When you add that to the shallow plot device characters, the pile of coincidences that were easy for the writers even if they didn't make sense for the plot (like Guillermo bringing Freddie back to the house in the first place), forgetting previous details from earlier in the series (Nandor sucking at hypnotizing people), the over-reliance on magic and hypnotism to smooth out plot holes/characterization struggles, and the blatantly awful treatment of Marwa...

I don't want to make it sound like I'm trying to be a dick out here shooting down other people's theories in the fandom or something, but like... Like. I personally do not buy that this was on purpose. I don't see anything in the episode to signal that this was supposed to be serious as opposed them trying to make it funny and just not succeeding. I can understand that drive to make sense of the writing decisions, but... honestly, frankly, I think the writers were just sloppy. I hate that it's true and I might be able to look past it, but I'm not going to pretend like it didn't happen. : /

[yanareadsdramione]

Isolation

Isolation by bexchan

Word count: 264k words / 49 chapters

Genre: Romance, war, Hogwarts Seventh Year; forced proximity/cohabitation

Summary:  “Post HBP. Ron and Harry are Horcrux hunting and Hermione has been left at Hogwarts to help the Order make it safe for the other students. Draco is forced by Snape to stay in Hogwarts for his own protection, but he can't leave the room he is given; Granger's room. Hermione is the only student trusted with this information, so her and Malfoy share the small space, and Draco tries to avoid insanity as he becomes increasingly isolated with only the Mudblood for company. Something's going to give...”

Initial Thoughts: Hello all, first and foremost, this fic has a special place in my heart. This fic was the one that started it all for me, the one that dragged me down the Dramione Rabbit Hole that I have yet to stop falling for. I was traditionally always a Drinny fan and then I took a ten year hiatus from reading fandom, and then one day during a long, long, depressing lockdown period, I googled “top recommended Dramione fics” and then... here we are.

I have to admit, I haven’t re-read this fic in its entirety since March 2020, but this fic definitely evoked a lot of emotions for me. I started this fic, I think around midnight on a weeknight, and I believe I finished it within two days! I simply could not put it down.

Setting: The majority of Isolation takes place in Hermione’s room. The closed proximity allows for us readers to experience Hermione and Draco’s thoughts and feelings. You can feel Draco’s claustrophobia and growing frustration. The other setting of the fic takes place in a safe house where Draco is desperate to get back to Hermione.

Draco Characterisation: Draco starts off as an absolute asshole at the beginning, and I hated him. Bex Chan completely crushes it with her depiction of Draco Malfoy perfectly and quite frankly, it was really heart-warming and angsty to read his character development and how he overcomes his prejudices and shitty behaviour through living with Hermione. He is bitter, he is hateful, and he is confused and hot and cold with Hermione. He treats her like shit, but he can’t help but grow attached to her. This is very much a redemption arc and Draco-centric fic because he was always a little shit during books 1-5, and you really do feel for him in HBP, and we watch him grow and evolve as a person and Bex Chan was fantastic with depicting his inner turmoil, frustration and feelings, she stayed true to his character so he did not seem too OOC.

Hermione Characterisation: Hermione is my favourite character in the series. She has always and will always be my favourite. Bex Chan beautifully writes Hermione as an adolescent teenager who has never been in a relationship before and is just coming in touch with her femininity. She is insecure and headstrong and wears her heart on her sleeve, and has a heart of gold despite all the hardship she has been through.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Isolation was truly an amazing read. I do love that their love was not instant, and I enjoyed that it took them several chapters before they could even tolerate each other. I thoroughly enjoyed the hate sex and the “catch feelings” and “enemies to lovers” theme. This, my friends, was the fic that convinced me that Dramione works.

You can feel Draco and Hermione’s separation anxiety, you can see their acceptance of their feelings for each other, and it is all believable.

Rating: 4.5/5. I definitely recommend this to any Harry Potter fans. For me, I personally believed it was an excellent introduction to Dramione.

Similar Works: If you enjoyed Isolation, you may also like The Auction by Lovesbitca8, A Season for Setting Fires by mightbewriting, Manacled by SenLinYu, Entanglement by blankfish, From Wiltshire, With Love by MistressLynn, Looking Glass by Kyonomiko,

[37-children-of-the-dreams]

Hello thereee, just dropping in to say that I binged-read your Six fanfic in one sitting and I honestly enjoyed it very much! Given that this series already lacks worldbuilding it's always nice to see what OC's and locations others come up with to fill in the blanks.

I also love how much care you've put in Eira's character (backstory, characteristics and just about every detail) aswell as the emotional states that Six is in throughout and based on the canon itself. Usually many media tend to downplay the potential emotional turmoil that the characters are put through and sweep them under the rug with not really any precautions (usually to save time and effort but you didn't hear that from me) but you've really taken your time here without slowing the plot down. Idk if you will write for other characters in the future but if you ever do, ill probably consume that content ngl

Hello there anon! Thank you for taking the time to read my fanfic. I know it’s not done, but I’m trying my best to get it done.

To me, when it came to world building, I had a fun time searching about places and try to pinpoint where I could place my locations, but then again, I love geography and history so it’s like my way of exploring the world while inside my house. As for OC’s, I just wanted Six to have a life outside of being a Klipse and the fact that he went crazy in season three, I wanted him to have an actual reason to go insane so giving him friends who am like him despite his family history would be a good, if not heartbreaking reason to go insane.

When it comes to Eira, her entire backstory has evolved from when I made her to how she is in the story. Mostly because I kinda neglected her, but when I made my way back to her, I realized that her character isn’t who I wanted her to be anymore because she’s supposed to be this princess and is fine with her life despite all the sadness, and I didn’t want that anymore since if she was a real person, Eira would’ve been all this turmoil and anger if she’s all alone by herself, so I changed everything about her to fit the princess I neglected. That’s why she now has all these people who love her and stay with her and why she starts having feelings for Six, I redid her story so despite her flaws and her sad childhood, she isn’t alone now and she has people she trust.

And when it comes for Six’s personality, the reason for how I write them is the fact that Six hasn’t had much to show in the series on his emotional state, he’s like a blank canvas and we only see so much in season three up until he got into custody. So I gave him the emotional turmoil and the feeling of a teenager who actually feels the weight of his actions. Six is a someone who lives a life an obedient clone and, in a way, a weapon, but he is still a teenager who does have emotions, so all the interactions he has with his friends, his family and stepfamily, and Eira are him being the emotional teenager we were robbed of.

I do others, but they’re in AO3. I made one on Power Rangers Megaforce with Vrak as my main character and one on Korkie Kryze in the Star Wars tag. They’re all under Malik_I_Beaurifonte2. Idk if you actually want to read them, but they’re there.

[ivesambrose]

Let your instincts be your guide here,

Pick a gif and see what's in the bag 🧡

To book a personal reading with me DM or email me at jovescorpioreadings@gmail.com

Fall flavored readings 🐈‍⬛

1.

2.

3.

4.

1.

Treats

A time out. Being able to connect and re-connect with your soul / spirit / ancestors or a talent you swooped under the rug. A time to learn, un - learn and re - learn. To improve and trust your instincts a little more.

In your solitude you'll find your solution. A shift in your financial situation. The resources that you once felt you had to hold on tightly to do it doesn't run out? They'll be growing after this full moon and as scorpio season commences. Tip: Gratitude grows.

An end to a long standing mental turmoil. It will go suddenly, you'll go to sleep exhausted then wake up the next day, quiet. The day after, you'll start seeing renewal, your world won't seem to lack so much color like it once did.

Trick

Watch out for the kind of solitude that turns into stagnation or your new found love for something become a momentary hyper fixation that leads to a burn out. Consistency is indeed key but you'd need some sun, fresh air and playfulness once in a while. Physically, watch out for soreness and fatigue. Move around a bit. After all, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

2.

Treats

A movement towards success and stability and an unexpected celebration. Whoever you pray to, has heard you. You can finally breathe now. Dry your tears. Don't save them for another day.

Someone seeks to connect with you a little deeper, they'd compete if they have to, just to show their devotion to you. They're full of love, so full it hurts. So they'd rather share it with you. A balance, you see. For others, this is a new romance after all the not so fulfilling and rather taxing and detrimental connections you've had. Stay open, you know this is the better choice and if romance isn't what you seek, seize the newfound lust for life you thought you'd always have to fight tooth and nail for, but now is given to you as a gift or better yet, claim both if you dare.

Financial gain. Reward. A surplus. How? I'm not sure. A sale? Someone very generous. The right investments that pay off in the long run. A happy home. A sudden liking for warm spicy foods it seems. It might be getting close to winter but your heart feels warmer than ever. Things get smoother by sagittarius season.

Trick

Don't emotionally overwhelm yourself with the options in front of you. I see you're excited by one too many things. There's time for it. This should be effortless. Don't let too many minds fog your vision as well. Now that you have your forewarning, you can navigate better.

3.

Treats

No more losing sleep and having a tsunami of emotions, doubt and possible guilt hit you late at night. No more. You can splash some nice cool running water over your face now.

You're gonna outsmart someone or something will end that will bring about a change. You'll regain what you had once lost. Something will break away when you least expect it. You may have a good cry first and suddenly the way ahead feels clearer than ever. It all happened so sudden and so soon, but it was worth it.

A wake up call. A sudden progress. Someone that brings out a side of you that no one ever has and no one ever could. A clarity. God damn, a clarity for once. Is this even a treat you wonder? It'll all make sense 9 months from now.

Trick

It's time to take the blindfold off. You know things but you refrain from seeing them and you get scared of seeking them. Stop blocking your own path.

4.

Treats

The worst is over. You've weeded out the good ones from the rotten ones. You thought solace got whipped away from your life and now you have all this new information and circumstances to deal with. It's your first step towards harmony and compassion. Not just from within yourself but also from others.

To some, I see music being your guide. Lyrics, words, notes. Music will connect you to something or someone / some people. There is a lot and lot of healing. Healing may not look pretty at first. Why should it? Hurt isn't pretty either yet romanticized so much. There's coldness on your heart you either believe or you fear, maybe bit of both. It's time to make peace with it.

Connecting with your inner child, feeling young / youthful. Feeling more confident and being a little more vocal. Sudden luck, sudden blessings. A smile on your face when no one's watching that's what I'm seeing.

Trick

Don't undermine your intuition when you find yourself in a conflict. In simpler words, if they aren't passing your vibe check, no matter how charming, calm and persuasive they seem, you're highly likely right. There will be people or a friend group that may cause you stress. Keep your peace and draw a line immediately. P. S no, alcohol is not THE solution. Stay away from petty fights.

[bibuckbuckley]

Okay but I am not over how Buck was so clearly framed as the "person who had to watch their love almost die right in front him but now has to take the full responsibility of taking care of their son and continue to work all while being a complete and emotional wreck".

Like when Buck had "the hardest job" - Chimney perfectly put it- and went to tell Christopher about Eddie and was trying to reign in his emotional turmoil, once he saw that Eddie had made it through surgery he just could not keep it in anymore. He completely broke down and CHRISTOPHER was the one to comfort BUCK before they both comfort each other. Which I always go absolutely feral about bc even though Buck wears his emotions on his sleeves we all know how he tends to put others first. We saw how he was trying to reign in his own grief so he could be there for Christopher. Because being there for Christopher was the most important thing in Buck's eyes, his own emotions be damned. An yet once that he saw that Eddie survived surgery and was going to be okay, he could not control it anymore.

And then we see him staying at the Diaz house and taking care of Christopher. However, Chris is the one who has to wake up Buck to school. That lil moment reminds me so much of a scene in Practical Magic where Sandra Bullock's character, Sally, is grieving the death of her husband and her daughter tries to wake her up to take her to school while Sally is numb just completely overtaken by her grief. We see Buck be the same way. And even though he does get up and takes care of Christopher and goes to work, we see how not okay he is. so much so that he wants get shot by the sniper as well

Which leads me the integral scene with Buck and Bobby. We all talk about the BLATANT parallels between Buddie and Bathena that this episode beautifully showed, but I gotta talk about it again. Right when Eddie had gotten shot, Bathena had the biggest fight of their marriage. But once they got their feelings out from the fight and was effected by the shooting, they had a honest conversation about what was bothering them. Which hugely consisted of Bobby talking about what it was like to witness what happened to Athena and how it effected him. Which brings me back to the scene with Bobby and Buck. When Bobby tells him that what happened to Eddie wasn't his fault, we get a DIRECT parallel with Buck saying "No but I was just the guy standing there who couldn't do anything about it" to which we get Bobby just staring at him in what seems to be a knowing look mixed shock and recognition. Because that was what he was literally what he was talking about with Athena. In the end of s3 with what happened to Athena and then in this season as well (especially this season) we see Bobby talk about and deal with witnessing HIS WIFE having a traumatic near death experience. Which was blatantly paralleled with Buck's trauma and grief with Eddie. (Two ppl having to witness the person they love most/their spouse almost die.)

But the parallels don't end there folks. No sir.

Not only do we get a hospital scene with both Bathena and Buddie but there are so many parallels in the Bathena hospital scene with Buddie. First we have the obvious of Athena sitting at Bobby side like Buck sat by Eddie's side as they both have emotional conversations. But whereas Buck mentions how he thought it'd been better he had been the one who had gotten shot instead of Eddie, Athena talks about saving Bobby.

Which I would like to point out the parallel of Buck helping Athena save Bobby and his knowing look when she said that it had to be her to save her husband. He understood that need and helped her be the one to save Bobby and not the actual firefighters (of course there's other reasons for Athena being the one like the guy having a gun but still).

But back to the hospital scenes parallels. In Bathena's hospital scene and the second one for Buddie (aka the Will™ scene), both relationships have a certain... shift if you will. Bathena's issues are fully solved and their relationship has grown even more for the better. And with Buddie the shift is also a growth in their relationship, just in a different way.

Because seeing how Eddie getting shot effected Buck and made him think so lowly of himself that he thought it'd be better if he was the one who got shot but also saw how Buck to continued to take care of Christopher despite of it, Eddie decides to finally tell Buck about the will. It's not only a shift of finally acknowledging the will after keeping it a secret for so long but a shift in how they're relationship is going to be for now. Sure, they already planned to always be in each other's lives but this seals it.

And what helps both relationships shift as all is what Athena and Eddie tell Bobby and Buck, respectively Athena tells Bobby that she couldn't let a little fire keep her from saving her partner. That right there is Athena reaffirming that Bobby is her partner, that she acknowledges the issues they had talked about previously about not acting like equal partners and reaffirms that they are fact partners. But then she also shows how much she loves Bobby. He's her partner in every way and she would (and did) walk through literal fire for him (which in LS we saw Judd use an example to show how much he would show Grace how much he loved her). Athena not only reminds Bobby how much she loves him, how she feels, but also tells him what he needed to hear that moment with what they were going through (especially with his lingering issues with what happened to Athena s3).

Now, with The Hospital Scene™ with Buddie, we get Eddie telling Buck about the will (which, given the fact that he kept it hidden for a year ass year indicates that it was a pretty big deal for Eddie to finally tell him) and Eddie does it because of what he also tells him. That Buck, Evan, in fact not expendable. That he knows Buck's perception of himself is that he's expendable, that Buck thought it'd be better if he was the one who got shot.

So how does that parallel the scene with Bathena? Well, Eddie shows Buck just how much he trusts him with Christopher (aka his heart and soul). They are partners already, but this just takes their partnership even further bc yeah, Eddie had already told Buck that 'there's no one else in this world I trust more with my son than you', but this both reaffirms that and takes it a step further. Because he made it legal that he'd rather Buck take care of his son more than his family. This reaffirms his trust in Buck, their partnership. Just like Athena reaffirmed hers and Bobby's partnership. Just like how she showed Bobby just how much she loved him by walking through literal fire for him, Eddie shows how much he loves and cares for Buck by entrusting Buck with the most precious thing in the world to him aka his son. And just like how Athena telling Bobby that is what he needed to hear, Eddie telling Buck about the will and showcasing the biggest insecurity that Buck was going through at the moment, that he's thinks that he's expendable but he's wrong.

Both Eddie and Athena saw how what happened to them effected their partners and they both have these things to help their partners with it (and themselves).

In conclusion, all of this shows the framing of Buck being the "grieving partner who had to deal with watching the love of their almost die". Because almost all of those Bathena parallels dealt with what Bobby had to deal with witnessing Athena almost die and how the aftereffects which directly paralleled with Buck was currently going through in that episode. And the of end episode (as well as Buck's season arc) getting a reaffirmation from his partner and consolation of how what happened to them effected him. Just how Athena did with Bobby.

Say it with me folks: Choices were made.

Thank you for coming to my Tedtalk.

[loving-villanelle]

just watched the episode and i feel...underwhelmed? i think ep 4was actually really good but this one felt like downhill again and i don't like this feeling... this was not written by kayleigh right? i def felt the gay and tension missing 😩

ok, positive things: eve looking hot in those glasses, villanelle+konstantin scene and the ending ofc. and maybe if u care about the 12, you find it interesting but i didn't get the wow factor at all. i feel like it's too much packed in one 40min episode with the flashbacks, carolyn, konstantin&pam, v on her own, eve&helene&chloe&yusuf.. it's just short scenes, nothing connecting to the other and it's frustrating to watch. now i just really hope that we get proper villaneve action and good scenes in the final remaining episodes because this is torture.

According to Wiki, this episode was co-written by Laura Neal & Georgia Lester. Hopefully Kayleigh will be the writer of episode 6.

Glasses Eve was a LOOK. I loved it and got such s2 Ms. Frizzle/Villanelle vibes from it.

I always have a soft spot for Villanelle and Konstantin, despite all of the ways he has let her down. The hug was especially emotional given that it was a moment between Jodie and Kim, rather than their characters.

I will be seeking therapy for that ending immediately. I needed the group therapy session for this episode even more than episode 3.

I agree that the show is trying to do way too much with the Twelve in the 11th hour. There are things that need to be explained about them, I understand that, but this episode full of flashbacks felt completely unnecessary. I love Carolyn and Konstantin, but their characters taking up the majority of screen time this episode is insane to me. Then as you said, we were also seeing Pam, Yusuf, Helene, her daughter, it's just all so much and the singular focus that has defined this show (Villaneve) has been completely lost for most of the season. While I hope they are able to recapture it for the next 3 episodes, episode 6 says that Villaneve are together "briefly" then go their separate ways.

This season has been difficult to watch because it's just so vastly different from what any of us really expected. They lost focus of what the fanbase cares about (Villaneve) and suddenly decided to go full speed ahead with the Twelve. The characters, especially Eve and Villanelle, have been so separate from each other this season that I've been left feeling that disconnect as a viewer and it has made it hard to maintain my enthusiasm. I will reserve final judgment until we see these last few episodes, but there has been so much this season that I just really have no interest in. There was a way to explore the Twelve while continuing to explore the dynamic between Villaneve and for whatever reason, they steered away from that and decided to reintroduce the "tension" and turmoil. I'm ready for them to have a chance to breathe and exist in each other's orbits in peace, if only for a moment

[morganupstead]

PD Thoughts: spoilers below

*After writing this I should make it clear I am a Burzek fan through and through and there should be no doubt about that, these are just my initial thoughts after the episode*

I wish the writer's room did interviews because I'm dead serious I would like to know what goes on in there. I would like to ask them a few very valid questions.

How long are you planning on having Burzek's characters build up enough trauma to the point where there is no foundation to their relationship left?? This relationship in some capacity has been going on since season 2, so why make them take one step forward then 3 back only for them to end basically in the same place over and over. Yes, there is character development in some ways but in others, it just lacks overall.

Believe me, I know this is a "drama" and it needs it to be interesting but I'm stuck here not understanding what the end game is supposed to be. We've had them in a relationship, engaged, coworkers, friends, a friends with benefits situation, co-parenting a baby, and a big round thing that can protect Makayla.

And nothing is ever right for them. I don't know what else is left for the writers to write for them they haven't already done?? Is this where they say, "they've tried for 9 years and they just can't make it work??" I would like to hope this isn't the case because the show would get hell for it from the fans. And the same part of me says "they've gone through too much as people for this to be their entire lives, just the indefinite ups, and downs". But also I know that sometimes life can be just that; never the happy ending you dream of, just whatever life throws your way. It's never simple.

Kim fostering Makayla has been one of the highest highs her character has gotten on the entire show. Removed from Burzek entirely she chose to do that on her own. And when Makayla is gone we see what emotional turmoil she goes through in the camera work and Marina's performance.

We know that Adam's judgment gets clouded by him being impulsive and emotional. We have seen that time and time again. But somehow even though we had small instances where we saw him do better with this in other episodes in the end all of that didn't matter because his reaction at the moment is always the same. It's obvious they have different ways of coping and different ideas on the best course of action to get her back safely was.

I think I'm disappointed that the writers have chosen to use these two people's trauma against them as people and not let them become free of it. This isn't the first time they've done it either, every character has a ton of unresolved trauma that festers till it has nowhere else to go. This is where I say like a broken record that everyone on this show needs to go to therapy because these storylines start to feel more repetitive than anything else.

Paddy and Marina have said multiple times that these two people love each other deeply but they don't know if it is ever going to work out for them. They have a really complicated relationship that never follows a blueprint of any kind, so as a fan it makes it difficult to know where they stand at any given time. They go from being each other's rock to being at odds so quickly.

The writers really have me thinking that this is all Adam and Kim might ever get, and it's a shame because I know the potential that is there. I want to be wrong, god I hope I'm really wrong.

Where should we expect to go from here, because Makayla is now officially adopted. And she should come first, so it leaves them in this weird grey area kind of like they've been in a lot. My ultimate hope is that down the line they get the kind of life all 3 of them deserve. But I literally have no idea what that looks like right now. These writers always seem to make a sharp turn with this ship, so I have no idea what happens next.

[wixelt]

Hermitcraft: Hels’ Birth Headcanon

Using this moment of me being on a roll of posts in the wake of the Season 8 finale to shunt out a theory i’ve had about Helsmits for a while now. I have no idea how it fits in with any lore or other accepted head-canons since i’m rusty on both, but here it is:

A Hels Hermit/Helsmit - or any Minecrafter’s Hels’ counterpart, really, but we’re focusing on just Hermitcraft here - is created when a Hermit does something that runs so massively counter to their nature or personality that it causes an emotionally traumatic schism in their soul. Not enough to shatter anything, but enough to cause a sort of malevolent opposite of themselves to form in the Hels dimension as the Hermit tries to recover and push past their angst, largely formed personality-wise from the motivations behind whatever the act was. Kind of like how Evil Xisuma was created, but something that happens outside of the Hermit’s direct awareness and control.

Because of this being something that has to happen as a result of actions rather than being a naturally occurring opposition, some Hermits might have no Hels counterpart, while others may have several who go by different names and exemplify various different dark moments in a Hermit’s life or worse aspects of their personality in their own personas.

I don’t know if I have an idea about what created Helsknight in this manner, but I feel that given the evidence its probably something that happened in Season 6 or earlier, given Helsknight likely already existed by the time Wels’ cloning mishap dragged him into an Overworld body. If anyone has an idea of an event in any past video that could be this moment, or a pre-Hermitcraft headcanon for it, i’d be interested to hear it.

I was also thinking about other Hermits and what other moments could exist to potentially make them have Helsmits. Most notably I focused on False because we all headcanon her as being some sort of warrior who often has strong moral convications and is often a complete paragon. I thought there was no way she would ever do anything so awful of her own volition - and didn’t consider anything that had happened prior to Season 8 quite enough to warrant a Helsmit being born since there weren’t many things False seemed to be in conflict or turmoil over.

Then she chose to leave Gem - one of her closest friends - in a bunker that she deep down knew wouldn’t survive the imminent impact of the Moon... and ran away atop her eagle despite how much she seemed to regret doing so.

Simulation or not, that sort of emotional and personal contradiction definitely feels like Helsmit territory. :P

[wesimpforxiao]

Say My Name and I’ll Be There:  7.2

Author’s Note:  This is the longest chapter so far!! *ehe*  Can’t wait for all the comments on this one....

Xiao eyed the three Fatui agents that were in charge of escorting the two of you to Dottore's arena the next day.  You found it rather odd that Childe and Dottore didn't accompany them this time, but didn't question it until they sought to bring only you with them.

Is this a chance for Xiao to escape?  Your gaze flit to the yaksha behind you as the agents bound your wrists with metal cuffs.  Xiao seemed as confused as you were.  "Where are we going?" You asked in hopes that they'll take you far enough away to avoid Xiao's powers.  They didn't answer you and pushed you out of the hallway.

They stopped just short of the throne room, taking a right instead of heading for those giant unwelcoming doors.  When they opened the next door, you halted.  It seemed like it was meant for some sort of conference room, but lighting was a bit over-the-top with candle lights and such.  A delicious aroma rose steadily into the air from the exquisite food that sat on the table.

"You're an idiot if you think this will woo me," you snorted as the agents removed your cuffs and left the room.  "Let's skip the crap, Tartaglia, and tell me what the hell you think you're doing."

"Why so skeptical, ojou-chan?  I just thought you'd like something to eat."  Childe held a smug smirk that complimented the devious glint in his eyes.

"Uh, yeah no.  I'll be going back to my cell now."  You spun on your heel and grabbed the doorknob.

"If you insist, I could fetch Dottore and resume your testing for the day."  When your hand froze on the knob, his smile widened.  "That's what I thought.  Sit."

You sat as far away from him as physically possible, and it drew a light chuckle from his lips.  "What do you want?"

"I just wanted to check in with you."  Childe grabbed a fork with ease and began to dig into the meal.  "This kind of treatment could continue day after day if you chose to cooperate."

"Are you trying to butter me up with food?  Do you seriously not know me well enough to know this trick won't work on me?"

"I seem to recall that it worked if it was chocolate," a boyish glint sparkled in his eyes.

Your fist slammed on the table and your eyes began to glow from the agitation.  "If you're trying to pull that 'shark week' stunt again, I swear I will--"

"--'Impale me?'  Were those the words you were looking for?"

"Okay, if there is no point to this conversation other than to infuriate me, I'm leaving."

"Have you thought of what I said, ojou-chan?"  When you raised an unamused brow, he continued.  "You can make a life for yourself here.  I'm sure with your...unique abilities, you'd be able to climb the ranks and might even rise to harbinger status."

"I have no interest in becoming a harbinger."

"The point being, you could choose whatever path you want if you joined us."

"The last time I checked, the Childe I knew enjoyed watching me suffer.  Why is he going out of his way to recruit me?"

"I think it'd be much easier on all of us if you joined our ranks.  Besides, at least with us, you could find something greater in life than..."

"Than chasing the love of a yaksha? Is that what you were going to say?"  Your glare was as cold as ice.  "I have no interest in this conversation."

"Listen to you; you're beginning to sound just like him," he retorted.  "Hold off on your retorts for a moment, ojou-chan." He placed his utensils down.  "Tell me, what would your plans be if you escaped with him?"

"Like I would tell you," you sneered.

"You've just proved my point.  I can see right through you; you don't have any."  Childe leaned forward and set his chin on his hand.  He held a smile that was somewhere between teasing and cruel.  You weren't intimidated and continued to hold his gaze.  "Ojou-chan, I'll be honest.  You'll die one way or another if you managed to escape, whether that be at the hands of the Fatui, or at the doing of the yaksha.  As a matter of fact, we wouldn't be the ones to kill you; you're the one killing yourself.  Death by a broken heart sounds more agonizing than what awaits you with us."

"You're not getting in my head."

"I'm not?  Then why, ojou-chan, does internal conflict arise on your face when you look at him?"

"Maybe because I'm having a conversation with him in my head."  

"You know what I think?  I think deep down, you know I'm right.  Part of you hates me for it, but the rest of you agrees with me.  With us, you could have anything you want if you can take it.  Be it fame, fear, glory, power, money.  Even love could grow within the ranks if you so desired it."

"Is this some sort of weird courting ritual?"  You bit back, but despite the hostility you portrayed to Childe, you were beginning to falter.  "I don't care for any of that stuff."

"But what you want most is love, no?  The yaksha can't give it to you; he's incapable of it.  You can't deny that much."  Childe refrained from grinning ear-to-ear as he watched the internal turmoil reach your expression.  You had hidden your hands under the table, haven't blinked in the past two minutes, and kept shifting in your seat.  Oh, how he's gotten under your skin.  He loved watching you squirm.  "Don't misunderstand me, ojou-chan. I'm not trying to insinuate love between us; that ship has sailed.  I'm simply looking out for your wellbeing."

You gripped the butter knife that was sitting next to your plate, flipping it over as you thought of the possibility of being able to one-shot him from here.  His lips curled upward slightly as if he knew what you were thinking.  Then, you placed the utensil back down and let out a long irritated sigh.  "Your words are falling on deaf ears, Tartaglia.  I'm going back to my cell now."

On the contrary, I think you've heard me loud and clear, ojou-chan.

............................................

The second you were shoved back into your cell, the tears began to fall.  Xiao watched you for a moment before gesturing for you to sit next to him, but you ignored him and sat in the far corner of the room.  You had glanced up at him once, noticing the tears that were also falling from his cheeks and thinking he was actually crying.  When you remembered it was just a side effect and that the tears manifested involuntarily, you reburied your face in your knees.

"Are you okay?"  Xiao sat so he was facing you, but didn't come any closer to the walls.  He hastily wiped your tears away from his face.  What a nuisance.  Can't emotions manifest themselves in a more convenient way?

"Just peachy," you sniffled without raising your head.  

As if I could ever join the Fatui! He's diluted for thinking something so stupid, for thinking I'm anything like him!  You wanted to scream and punch the wall from how frustrated you were.  How dare he try and twist me around like that!  The tears continued to spill and soak into your jeans as helplessness and hatred washed over you like the tide.  Xiao, why...?

The yaksha perked up when he heard you.  "What?"  

Why can't I be free of human emotions, just as you are?  Why must I be burdened with them?

...................................................

Two more days passed, but the two of you were never taken to the arena.  Apparently the Tsaritsa had other temporary plans that required the presence of the harbingers for the time being.  So, when the time finally came for you and Xiao to be escorted out of the cell once again, you were surprised to see what looked like rookie guards instead of the usual seasoned agents.

Their rookie-ness was primarily given away by the fumbling of the keys before the cell door unlocked.  Then it was painfully obvious that these three guards were idiots by the way they swung the door open enough that it effectively gave Xiao an opening out of the sealed box.  The two of you exchanged shocked glances before Xiao bolted through the door, his lance manifesting in time to pierce through the first guard and pin him to the opposing wall outside the hallway.  

It was an outright slaughter.

Before you even had the chance to get to your feet, the yaksha was already retracting his polearm from the third guard's torso that lay on the floor.  The heavy metallic stench of blood made your stomach riot and you averted your eyes to keep the nausea under control.

"A-Are we really doing this?  Are we really making our escape?"  Your hands were shaking from the adrenaline as well as an emotion you recognized to be fear.

Zhongli...was it really a coincidence that I heard you last night, and now the guard schedules are mixed up?  Xiao furrowed his brows as his eyes danced over the bloody corpses.  "Let's move."

"Okay..."  You carefully avoided slipping on the soaked floor and followed Xiao.  He was surprisingly familiar with the hallways considering he had been blindfolded whenever he was outside the cell.  "How do you know this place so well?"

"Sight is not the only thing we are gifted," he answered as he peeked down a corridor.  "This way."

Several Fatui agents and skirmishers turned the corner as if they had been intentionally sent.  There was no way they could have heard the ruckus from up here.  Xiao waved a hand over his face, and his mask manifested with ease.  A demonic aura emanated around him, visibly blackening the immediate area around his body.  The new sight sent a chill down your spine.  "Stay out of my way."

You followed his order and ran back the way you came, using the corner as cover.  He first burst into the cryo skirmisher, who was practically first in line for a quick death.  The polearm sliced across his torso, then Xiao shoved it through his heart.  The second the blade was ripped out of flesh, geo and pyro skirmishers surrounded him.

"LAMENT!"  Xiao leapt into the air and dove into the ground with his spear.  The shockwave of his anemo burst sent spears of air ricocheting into the skirmishers.  They struggled to their feet after the devastating blow, and more Fatui agents filtered into the hallway.  Xiao performed another series of plunging attacks until no one but him was moving.  He jerked his head to the side and his mask evaporated.  "Come."

You didn't have time to drool over how hot that was--"Ah, wait, Xiao.  That's the throne room up ahead--"

If my intuition is correct...The yaksha burst through the doors despite your warning.

"Xiao--! H-huh?"  You ran after him only to run into his back.  You peeked over his shoulder to see why he stopped in his tracks.  "What's going on?"

No one was in the throne room save for the most important players of this story.  The Tsaritsa, who was standing in front of her throne; Childe, her beloved war hammer; Signora and Scaramouche, who stood off to the side as mere observers; Zhongli, with his arms crossed and eyes blazing with fury; and Aether, who held a firm look of determination.  The atmosphere was tense, even as they all turned their heads to the sound of the doors crashing open.

"I've massacred every last one of your agents," Xiao seethed at the cryo archon as the two of you approached the group.  "Our suffering is no longer."

"Xiao," Zhongli nodded, relief washing over him when he confirmed the two of you were okay.

"Thank the archons," Aether ran over and hugged you.  "I'm sorry we took so long."  He hid his surprise at how thin you were.

"You were saying, Morax?"  The Tsaritsa refocused everyone's attention, and you and Xiao stood at Zhongli's side.  The room seemed to inhabit a colder atmosphere than the first time you visited.  She could've cared less that you and Xiao killed her men.

"You've broken our contract," the archon clenched his jaw, but remained as composed as ever.  "Thou shall not interfere with Liyue or the adepti."

The Tsaritsa's gaze flicked to the two of you.  "Oh, is that so?  I told you I'd do anything necessary to accomplish my goal."

"Those who break the contract will suffer the wrath of the rock.  We have every nation on our side; the people of Teyvat are more than willing to wage war against you for your trespasses if you refuse to return the two of them."

"You think that's going to intimidate me?" The Tsaritsa let out a frigid chuckle at the thought.  "Oh, Morax.  You really are more brawn than brains.  Alright, I will return the yaksha to you."  She nudged her head at Xiao.

"And her."  Zhongli pointed to you.

"Ha!"  Another full laugh arose from the archon's lips.  "Have you already forgotten the terms of your own contract?  Liyue and adepti alone are to be untouched.  She is neither."

"You can't do that!"  Aether shouted, grabbing the hilt of his sword.

"Then I'm afraid we'll have to wage war because of your refusal."  Zhongli hardened his gaze as he continued to stare at the Tsaritsa.  You peered up at him only to realize that he was completely serious.

He wants to wage a world war for my sake?  You sent a nervous glance to Xiao, and he didn't appear to have a problem with his superior's proposition.  Neither did Aether.  Your wavering eyes came to a rest on an amused Childe, who stood across from you.  But...this bloodshed...would be my fault...

"Relax, Morax.  Her test trials are already over; we have what we need."  Your eyes lifted to the Tsaritsa.  "She won't be put through such harsh treatment again."

"Then why do you want to keep her?  Just let her go!"  Aether continued to glare daggers.  To watch his friend be taken away by a god just as Lumine had...he never wanted to feel the same pain again.  The walls appeared to close in on him as he watched the same events repeat before his very eyes.

"She'll be an excellent addition to our ranks.  I seek to recruit her; she will aid us in commencing trials for the hosts of the adeptal enhancements."  Xiao shifted so that you were mostly hidden behind him.  "She will be treated with great care as long as she cooperates."

"She will be part of no such thing," Xiao and Zhongli jinxed one another.

You couldn't pull your gaze away from Childe; it was like the two of you came to some sort of weird understanding of one another in this moment.  You were right, your eyes widened at him.  This bloodshed for my sake...I can't let them go through with this.

"You can't fight without your gnosis, Morax.  Your threats do not concern me."

I told you, ojou-chan.  Out there, you cannot live, the harbinger seemed to say with his eyes.

We'll be on the run if we took off right now.  We'll be hiding every day for the rest of our lives.  If the war actually happens instead of an escape, all these people will die for one measly girl.  Their blood will be on my hands, on Xiao's hands--And then there's the matter of my unrequited feelings...I can't deal with any of this--The world seemed to spin around you, and you grimaced at the feeling.

"So be it," Zhongli materialized his polearm.  Aether drew his sword.

Xiao tensed when he felt your despair and dread flow through him.  He glanced over his shoulder to gage your wellbeing and was still just as confused as he tried to pinpoint your thoughts.  

I can't...You gaze rose to meet your protector.  For both our sakes...

Childe's grin widened when you stepped forward.  "Stop this!"  Your high-pitched cry interrupted the rising arguments between Aether, Zhongli, and the Tsaritsa.  "All of you, stop!"  When all eyes turned to you, you took a deep breath to stop the tears from forming.  "I'll do it."

"WHAT?!"

"If she's willing to stay, your war is pointless," a thin smile spread across the cryo archon's lips.  Then she addressed you directly.  "A wise choice, young lady.  You will be treated well now that you are choosing to participate."

You spun around when Xiao gripped your upper arm.  "What do you think you're doing?"  His voice was hushed, but there was something fierce both in his gaze and his grip on you.  "There's no need to--"

Your arm left his grip, and you addressed Zhongli and Aether.  "I can't let you guys wage war on my behalf whether it's a bluff or not.  Whatever the outcome would be, it would end in thousands of pointless deaths.  I can't let you guys do this."

"But they'll kill you!"  Aether shook your shoulders, desperate to prevent another incident like his sister's.  "Don't you understand what's happening?!  You'll--"

"I'll be just fine on my own," you gave him a half-smile.  "It's not like I'll be able to live peacefully if I escaped anyway.  They'd always be on our tail.  We'd never escape the danger of the Fatui."  Xiao glared at Childe when he heard the regurgitation of the harbinger's words.

"...Are you sure you want this?"  Zhongli observed you carefully.  "Once you join the Fatui, there will be no escape."

"If it's to protect everyone, if it's to protect the three of you, I'm sure."  You weren't aware of the tears that stained your face.  You then turned your attention to Xiao, who stood back.  "Listen, I-"

"I don't agree with this," he said plainly.  "I told you there was no need to sacrifice yourself for anyone's sake.  I told you to trust in us."

"Xiao."  You threw your arms around him, feeling him flinch under your sudden touch before hesitantly placing his hands at your sides.  I can't stand around and let innocents get hurt, just as you can't do the same.  His eyes widened as he quietly listened to your prayer.  You pulled away slightly and brushed his bangs out of his face, hand cupping his cheek.  A few of your tears were falling from his eyes as he looked into yours.  You brought your forehead to his, intent on holding him for as long as he'd let you.  You may never understand this, and that's okay, but I love you.

Xiao's breath caught in his throat and his grip around you tightened.  His eyes wavered immensely, releasing more tears as he replayed your prayer in his mind.  Only, a couple of those tears didn't belong to you; they were his own.  "What're you..."

"Heh, you have no idea how hard it was to say that," you forced a laugh as more tears dripped down your cheeks, and you tore away from him completely.

Aether watched the two of you with utter confusion, while Zhongli observed you intently.  It appears she has admitted her feelings.  Xiao, will you follow suite?  His gaze flicked expectantly  to the yaksha, who was more than distraught and traumatized by the entire situation.

You didn't wait nor expect a reply.  "I will aid you," you spun around and addressed the Tsaritsa, "but it will be under my terms.  These three are to stay out of whatever you're scheming.  Not a single hair on the tops of their heads is to be harmed."

"You have my word." The Tsaritsa thought it was adorable at how hard-headed you were.  It reminded her of Childe, and also that of an ant.  Such a small insignificant being that thought it held a significant place in this world.  Absolutely adorable.

"You guys should leave," you lowered your voice as you turned back to the trio of your apparently-not-needed rescuers.  "I'm sorry I've caused you all this trouble.  Please know traveling with you three meant the world to me."  The tears continued to fall even though you failed to acknowledge their presence.

"You're serious about this," Aether bit his lip to prevent himself from crying.  "But your Granny...the village...the Lantern Rite--"

"I'll come back one day.  That's a promise," your eyes met Xiao's.  I swear to Rex Lapis, I will return.

The Tsaritsa watched you return to her after seeing your friends off.  A disturbing smile spread across her lips as you forced yourself to kneel at her feet.  "I believe you've earned this back."  She held her hand out to reveal your vision, to which you slowly took it into your hands and stared at it with vacant eyes.

You felt nothing as you attached it to your belt loop.

[haircoveredwriter]

Carol's Origin Story: 5 most underrated scenes

There are some moments that always come to mind when fans of The Walking Dead think of Carol Peletier; ones seared into our minds from sheer awesomeness or heart-wrenching emotions no one can escape. Yet such multi-faceted characters cannot be simply broken down into their 4 best episodes for one to truly understand who they are and how far the journey they've traveled to get here. As such, we will examine a few poignant stages along Carol's journey which deserve their recognition.

5. Teaching the kids at the prison to fight

Following the fall of Woodbury, our survivors were inundated with new people joining them at the prison and looking for some semblance of leadership. A role which Carol takes on easily and with devout purpose; arranging schedules to help the community run smoothly as well as maintaining the perimeter fencing's safety. Although she's not content simply to sit back and let her past be repeated, fearing it was her own lack of education that lead to Sophia's tragic death. Not if she has anything to do about it. Disguised as regular storytime, she quietly instructs the children on basic weapon usage and how they can protect themselves when they're threatened; a lesson that proves extremely helpful upon the Governor's return and subsequent attack. If it were not for Carol's tactical thinking, Mika and Lizzie might never have saved baby Judith or Tyrese for that matter, and Rick would have never gotten the happy reunion he'd been dreaming of.

4. Her facade in Alexandria

Becoming who she needs to be in any given situation is much more than a talent for Carol, it is a survival mechanism. Something she'd had to learn during her marriage to Ed in an attempt to appease his temper and evade his ever-present wrath. Though it was truly mesmerizing to watch her read the room within an instant of entering Alexandria - a community they knew nothing about or whether it was to be trusted - and switch over to her previous meek, demure persona without missing a beat so that she would have the ability to protect her family. The Wolves would have served well to have noted this point sooner. While Carol has donned her veiled mask multiple times since, in the show's series, it's the first iteration which shows just how intelligent this woman is.

3. Saving Lydia in The Storm

Reliving a parent's worst nightmare is horrible enough to experience once but for Carol she, unfortunately, lived through many losses of children, the most recent being her adopted son, Henry, at the hands of Alpha. Swallowed up by pain and grief, her feelings of self begin to fracture as she fears she's losing any hold of who she is. When the group is forced to venture into the eye of a terrible winter storm, she finds herself face to face with the daughter of her son's murderer and has to battle her own dark inner thoughts as well as the young girl's suicidal tendencies. Despite the immense burden of blame weighing on her heart (of other's and herself), Carol is able to connect with the mirror image Lydia displays, seeing her own past traumas and pain being experienced by another and it's then that Carol chooses to reach out to provide the support she'd never had to the suffering teenager. True strength comes from the ability to use one's own pain to help others ... this is the definition of Carol Peletier.

2. 'Warning' Merle

"People underestimate me ... don't underestimate me." Why this scene was cut from the broadcast airing I will NEVER understand! Carol has always been protective over those she cares about, although when Daryl's brother, Merle, arrives at the prison, potentially jeopardizing his mental & emotional well-being, Carol doesn't bat an eye before making it clear to the elder Dixon ... if he messes with Daryl, she'll take him out in his sleep. There are so many subtle aspects to this scene that draw the viewer in at the same time shock them to their core; whether it is Carol's sweet and reserved presentation, her ease in mentioning descriptive details proving she has already been keeping track of Merle, or the mere fact that in a way the man in front of her displayed several tendencies which she had cowered from earlier in a previous life. This is also the first instance where the strengthening bond between Carol and Daryl shows how deep it goes, and how far the star-crossed soulmates will go to protect the other from anyone or anything.

1. Saving herself in "Look at the Flowers"

You can be your own worst enemy. When times get tough, it's easier sometimes to fall back on habit rather than going for what you want or need. Both these are true for Carol when we find her in season 10. Alpha is dead, Henry's death has been avenged ... yet neither brings her the peace she's sought and she finds herself running again from her emotional turmoil rather than head back to Alexandria to face it with Daryl. Along her instinctual journey she can't escape the voices inside her head which take on the physical representation of the woman she hates the most, Alpha. Every horrendous thing anyone has ever told her or things she has told/believes about herself come flooding through, one after another, until fate deals its hand and pins her overnight beneath a boat with no way to escape. The incoming promise of death seems nearly accepted before the prospect of losing Daryl is too much for Carol to take and she musters her courage, dislocating her shoulder and then killing the incoming walker. This is the moment where she decides she is done running. This is the moment where she chooses her relationship with Daryl over everything that has come or will in the future. This is the moment where Carol decides she is worthy.

Carol Peletier Origin Story (3/7)