#no they did not divorce 12 hours later that never happened <3

[shesnake]

Dianne Doan & Joe Taslim in Warrior season 3 episode 8 (2023) dir. Dennie Gordon

[softpine]

ALL THE DIFFERENT GRIFFINS. IM SO. I NEED INFO. SPECIFICALLY ON GRIFFIN WITH A DAUGHTER??? DO U HAVE ANY ACTUAL THOUGHTS ABT THESE DIFFERENT AUS BC IM SO,,,,,

yesssss i would be happy to share each of the griffins lives!! i'll just run through them in order:

[major trigger warning for child abuse, attempted murder, etc. all the typical finn things]

1- inmate: he... did something... that i can't tell you yet... as a kid that got him sent to juvy for a few years. by the time he was released at 18, he had practically no life skills, no formal education, and the only people left in his life were other juvy kids. he tried to make the best of a shitty situation by changing his name, moving states, and starting over, but it wasn't long before he resorted to petty theft to make it by. his crimes escalated until he was eventually caught for armed robbery and sentenced to 25 to life. it was almost a relief to know that he wouldn't have to worry about making decisions anymore. he doesn't feel like he's ever been in charge of his own life, so being in prison is just more of the same.

2- drifter: he's still a teenager here. he successfully ran away from home as a kid, never got attacked, but instead of going to live with his aunt in new york, he's been living mostly on the road and in shelters ever since. he sticks to smaller towns, keeps a low profile, and makes a living doing odd jobs. he's safe, but lonely. asa knowing his name was a huge shock to him, because no one ever cares to ask his name.

3- kid: he hasn't hit the turning point in his life where every tiny decision can have life-altering consequences, so this is just a representation of almost every version of griffin at age 12. in this particular moment, he'd just gotten into a fight at school which he will be suspended for. i just think it's funny how he calls asa an old man lmao

4- survivor: he was obviously attacked. when he was found many days later, he was barely clinging to life. he suffered the most severe brain damage of all the versions of griffin we've seen, lost his eye, and has never quite recovered from the emotional and physical trauma. he has frequent seizures that leave him unable to work. it's rare that he even goes outside alone, so asa approaching him on the one day when he did choose to go for a walk by himself was not great timing. where this griffin differs is that he was adopted by his aunt after the attack, because his parents were actually charged with child abuse and neglect for their actions on the night of his attack (many people believe they were directly responsible, but it was never proven. they pled guilty to lesser charges to avoid an attempted murder trial). so griffin is actually in new york in that picture.

5- dad: he was attacked and left for dead, but in this universe, he was rescued within a few hours. his attacker had stabbed him in the arm with a broken beer bottle (this happened to all the versions of griffin who were attacked. it's why he wasn't able to fight back as hard). while he was being treated in the hospital, the wound got infected and his arm had to be amputated. the long healing process meant he had to rely on his parents for a ton of assistance and support. they were even more desperate to prove that they can be good parents and that they would never hurt their son, so the 3 of them all became pretty codependent. he lived at home with them until he was in his 30s, but then his dad died of a sudden heart attack (brought on by alcoholism, because he never quit drinking) and griffin realized it was time to move on. he married the daughter of one of his mom's friends, the first person he's ever dated, but their marriage dissolved a few years later for... a lot of reasons. they got a divorce before the baby was even born, but griffin tries to be the best father he possibly can be. he absolutely spoils her (you can see that based on the excessive playground equipment he bought for his yard lol) and she's his entire reason for living now, even though he only gets to see her every other week. he hopes she can stay for longer when she's older.

6- mechanic: griffin (and our finn, for that matter) was a huge nascar fan and his dream was to be a professional driver. that didn't exactly pan out for him, but he does enjoy being a mechanic. he's about 40 in that picture. he was never attacked, never ran away from home, and instead he endured the increasingly horrific abuse until he turned 18, moved out, and never talked to anyone in his family ever again. he prefers to be mostly solitary; never married, no kids, not even any friends, but he gets along with his coworkers well enough. he has an extremely hard time trusting that anyone has good intentions. in his free time, he restores & sells old furniture. his dream is to retire and move to the countryside.

7- sex worker: honestly, probably the most mentally stable griffin on this list... like don't get me wrong, he's still traumatized from the same childhood that every version of griffin shares, and i'm not saying his job is easy by any means, but he has a ton of friends who actually understand him and who he doesn't have to pretend with, he lives with his cousin liz who he's really close to, he keeps in contact with his parents but hardly ever sees them in person (which is exactly how he likes it), and he has a real sense of community. he was never attacked. he didn't run away from home when he was 12 like he planned, but instead waited until he was 14 and his parents allowed him to go live with his aunt with everyone's agreement. when liz, who is older than him, moved out to go to college, griffin followed her and they've been living together for years now. she's the only family member who knows what he does for work, so she makes sure to look out for him. oh also he's the only version of griffin we've seen that has a boyfriend?? he was supposed to say something about him in response to asa saying "i have a partner", but i cut it because i don't actually think griffin would offer that info up to a stranger, no matter how strangely trustworthy asa appears to be.

[luffyvace]

”headcanons for Reigen and his childhood”

—@princeasimdiya12 resquested these through message :)

Little Reigen was probably a little silly :3 who also probably went through some stuff ⚠️ TW: angst

To start off on a good note I wanna go ahead and say if somebody were to ask him ‘how was your childhood’ he’d respond “it was good, I had a good home n’ my mom was the best cook 😼, my dad always played ball with me too👌” although it’s much deeper than that, he isn’t lying technically.

Anyway on to the sillies :3 His mom actually is a really good cook 😍👩‍🍳 she could cook and bake in fact 😚 (when she didn’t burn the deserts <3) yeah idk what happened but she always just seemed to forget she was baking?? But she didn’t forget when she was cooking….? Idk 🤷‍♀️ Maybe because sometimes baking takes longer in the oven? Again- idk, but it never broke out into a fire so that’s good….although they had to leave the house cuz all the smoke 😁 which leads me to say his mom would end up telling the neighbors (they lived in apartment when he was real young, like up til 7) so they could get out too (cuz smoke like- slips through the cracks of the doors). Everyone opens the windows and doors until it airs out. Before then everyone’s outside relaxing or playing. (Reigen and his dad was the only ones playing).

The couple upstairs was a young couple with no children and there was a old married couple downstairs. Which essentially means Reigen didn’t grow up with other children, at least in his apartment. On the block, yeah but they either weren’t cool with him or were older kids. So yeah, Reigen mostly played with his father. They’d play baseball a lot and Reigen was the batter but he always got hit in the face whenever his dad pitched 😚👍Playing ball with him was his happiest moments, at some point he wanted to be a baseball player actually. He was so fond of it, even his room was baseball themed.

⚠️Angst part:

At school he had friends. Not the type where your excited to see them every day, nonono- the type that occasionally talked to you when they were bored, or if you did something cool. Yeah, those friends :( He clang onto that because that was the most he got. It’s not that the other kids hated him, they just had they’re groups….and he wasn’t apart of any. He was also the class laughing stock 😤 The teachers saw him occasionally talk to students so they never thought twice about the situation 🤦‍♀️ (Check on the poor baby!! 💥💥) He was really chatty when he did get the chance to talk and it was mostly him spewing “cool” lies about his life. Bragging, trying to big himself up to make others want to be his real friends. Buuut that never happened. Actually I wanna say he made one (actually 4 but we’ll get into that later) real friend in high school but he was a foreign exchange student—and he never got the chance to get his number before he went back.

Overall things got better into his teens for a while, until they didn’t. His earlier years played a factor but the teens really did it as to why he is how he is today. At first he had a friend group. It was like 3 dudes and him. They were genuine and had lots of fun together. They met on summer break and two weren’t from his school, the other was but in a different class from him. A pair in the group met in middle school and loved to skateboard. Just thought I’d mention it. Anyway they eventually split ways, not for any reason in particular—they just drifted apart :/

when he turned 11 is when his dad stopped playing with him and he changed his room from baseball themed. He was pretty upset about it but one of the reasons he stopped was because he was his dad had to focus on work more and picked up more hours. So he ended up wanting the weekends for resting and not playing. A year later when he was 12, his parent’s marriage got really rocky- like almost to a divorce—he never found out what happened but something did and completely fixed the problem?! Not overnight of course- but things looked up a lot. He stayed in his room a lot that year and he never bothered asking, only happy to know they were staying together.

Fluff again ♡:

uh random to lighten the mood.. he really loved his mother’s banana pudding. (If he could he would still eat it to this day). But he doesn’t visit her often enough. They email more than anything.

His favorite meal for breakfast was waffles. For lunch? Grilled cheese :) and for dinner he looooved takeout 😋 yeah he’s a pretty takeout obsessed dude and even though his mom can kick more butt in the kitchen than the restaurant cook can he just always had a taste for it 🤷‍♀️ His favorite takeout was Chinese food. Although he could never use the chopsticks he always tried :P

This isn’t my usual headcanons writing style but I decided I wanted to do it like this instead because the paragraphs are a bit long 😅

I do hope you don’t mind dear 💗 enjoy your tea 😊☕️

[morallygay]

🟩⬜️⬛️ Animes for aro/ace people - Part 1 ⬛️⬜️🟪

part 2 here

Including:

-shows in which (a) character(s) has/have shown lack of interest or disinterest in romance and/or sex🔻

-shows that as a whole have little to no romance and/or sex in them or are not romance focused🔹

I encourage anyone to reply/reblog with ideas/suggestions of animes that could qualify (especially aroallo people since you are the least represented and, basically being the opposite myself, I will not necessarily notice it). This is an ever expanding list (in theory. when i remember to come back to it) :)

This is a completely personal list based on what animes made me consciously think “aspec vibes”; it’s not guaranteed that you vibe with my taste, but surely a few people will, and this is for them. Since I’ve seen a lot of animes while aroace, I’m one of the few people who could make this post, so here, finally I made it.

To me canon and the intentions of the author are very important and obviously change completely the context of the ‘representation’. The worst feeling is expecting representation and being disappointed and invalidated, so I will make clear what kind and level of representation it is and if intended (to my understanding/intuition) or not. Let’s start by saying that, in case you were born yesterday, we don’t exist according to media and anime is no exception so expect most of those to not canonically be aromantic or asexual, and that even if the author intended in some cases to make them in practice aro/ace, it is most likely in a way that is oblivious to the actual existence of these orientations (the words are never used for sure), ex. it’s supposed to be a quirk / personality trait and not an actual sexuality. Also I have a taste for seinen so there will be an overrepresentation of that. With that said, let’s go.

"Saiki Kusuo No Psi Nan" / "The Disastrous Life Of Saiki K" (like 50 episodes but you will not see the time pass)🔻

Definitely the n.1 aroace anime. It’s a comedy. The protagonist is an absolute aroace icon. He explicitly expressed multiple times that he doesn't get and is disinterested in romance/sex and those facts are pillars of the show and the comedy. He loves sweets. You can also see him as demi. However the (aro/ace) label is obviously never used since the author is probably unaware of this sexuality's existence. It's the kind of representation that is not intended as representation. He is ‘nonhuman’ aroace rep; the fact that he is a psychic and basically a god is intended as the reason for his lack of interest/attraction.

warning: in season 3 he loses his powers and it is implied that because of that he is now a Normal boy and therefore allo. and he shows attraction for the first and only time in the commercial breaks animations lmao. traumatizing 😔. that didn’t happen in the manga anyway so just bear with it and ignore it.

Otherwise there is a lot of romance in this show and instances of sexual attraction, and it has a lot of other problems. It probably doesn’t pass the bechdel test for like the first and a half season. But it really is funny— hilarious even. It’s also very problematic. Still definitely recommend and it is very empowering to watch as an aroace, but keeping all that in mind.

“Barakamon” (12 episodes)🔻

The protagonist is canonically asexual in the manga apparently. I haven’t read it but in the anime at least he did in fact show disinterest and confusion over sexual attraction. No info romantic orientation-wise. It isn’t perfect (there was a whole thing about a character that is a homophobic fujoshi and other instances of unfunny humor like that) but it’s an cute slice of life I suppose.

“Dr Stone” (35 episodes + 3rd season coming soon)🔻

The protagonist never showed romantic or sexual attraction and explicitly showed disinterest to both at times. He literally got married for practical reasons and divorced hours later. Aroace king. Here too his lack of interest may be intended as a joke to show that he is Logical and too busy with Science to have time for bullshit like “love”, but it’s not like he can’t be both so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. There is some annoying fanservice and the female characters have terrifying eyes as you can see above but I digress, overall it’s really good + there’s other types of queer rep in the manga apparently but I haven’t read it yet.

“Ore Monogatari” / “My Love Story” (24 episodes)🔻

A very sweet and good romance anime. In this one the side character (on the right) is heavily implied to be on both the aromantic and asexual spectrums, and there was a whole mini-arc about him and that near the end of the anime. Very wholesome.

“Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun” / “Monthly Girls’ Nozaki-kun” (12 episodes + 1 OVA)🔻

A hilarious romantic comedy that I highly recommend in general. The protagonist’s crush is super aroace in the anime and it’s very funny and validating/empowering. It’s supposed to be read as him being oblivious for the sake of comedy, and he still is her love interest so in the manga — which goes much further — he slowly starts to develop feelings too. I see him as demiromantic. There are 2 other characters that have shown confusion / lack of interest about sexual attraction (one only appears in the manga) that I see as alloace. Also everyone (yes the aroace guy included) is bi. Not canonically of course but yeah. Watch it (unless you’re the type that doesn’t do ships, then you can pass on this one).

“Shingeki No Kyojin” / “Attack On Titan” (87 episodes + the last season coming soon)🔹

Classic masterpiece in the making but I’m not here to talk about that. Romance exists in the show in the way that it exists in real life so it would be unrealistic to not have it. The show itself is not focused on romance at all, and there is no unnecessary forced romance either. The female characters are not sexualized at all and there are virtually no comment/scene that show sexual attraction, to the point where I wonder if isayama (the author) is not asexual as well. This is a show where it’s hard to find any characters who you can prove are allo; this is how irrelevant both romance and sexual attraction are.

“Beelzebub” (60 episodes)🔻

This one is a mostly episodic comedy. The protagonist has big aroace vibes. He is supposed to be read as oblivious (which he also definitely is, but I see him as both) and too dumb to be horny or something. There is a lot of fanservice (respectful one though (well, as respectful as fanservice can be??)) and his best friend’s entire personality is being a pervert and that’s really annoying. Plus one of the main recurring characters is a ‘predatory gay’ walking joke. Despite my very low tolerance for stuff like that I still personally somehow love this anime and find it very funny in the end. I haven’t read the manga.

“Yagate Kimi Ni Naru” / “Bloom Into You” (13 episodes)🔻

A wlw romance in which the protagonist is aspec, and this is obviously relevant and touched upon. Definitely arospec and most likely acespec too (can’t remember exactly). There is also an aromantic side character that enjoys consuming romance but has zero interest in personally participating in it.

“Banana Fish” (24 episodes)🔹(🔻)

The 2 main characters are mlm love interests, and their relationship isn’t sexual at all. The show itself does deal with the theme of sexual abuse, and it’s a recurring relevant topic so trigger warning for that (but not in a romanticized/fetishized way at all). Their relationship being romantic is technically not canon either but it’s subtext (the kind that if it was straight no one would question it). They’re called “best friends 😊” to the end lol so. yeah. It can be frustrating from a gay rep standpoint but at the same time also right up your alley if you want queerplatonic greyromantic (asexual) stuff.

This one is a bit of a tangent but mlm rep in anime that isn’t sexual is so rare so I wanted to include it since I’m an mlm aspec and this is just like me fr. Also it’s a must watch in general.

“Paripi Koumei” / “Ya Boy Kongming” (12 episodes)🔹

This anime is wild (complimentary). The main theme is music, but this description can’t do it justice. Anyway the show is completely devoid of romance (at least as of now with 1 season. I haven’t read the manga) but full of sweet friendships and heartwarming interactions. The kind of thing to show to someone who says that romance is a necessary part of humanity and that life is less meaningful without it. I totally headcanon the protag (blonde girl) as aro.

“Acca 13” (12 episodes)🔹

A seriously underrated show. This one is on this list because it was very satisfying to watch as an aroace person. There is no focus on romance. There are characters who are attracted to other characters but it’s not relevant or used for frustrating unnecessary drama or anything, it’s actually in a very refreshingly chill, matter-of-fact way, and it never goes farther than that. It’s so unique in this way I can’t really explain it well, but it’s pretty cool.

[kelsiehawkpoetry-blog]

My dad, Tony

My dad passed away 13 years ago.

An accidental overdose that got chalked up to a suicide.

My parents had me young, then my sister and brother within 3 years. Kids raising kids.

They divorced when I was around 5, it was messy, a lot of toxicity and not being able to co-parent. I don’t blame either one, it was just what happened.

I developed a strong bond with my dad, I wasn’t his first choice to be honest. He was a boys dad at heart, I just happened to be the oldest and understood what was happening.

My siblings and I weren’t spared from the ugly process of custody. When I was 12 I decided to be legally placed with my dad. My siblings stayed with my mom.

My mom met someone and eventually moved across the country, with my siblings. My dad met someone too. He remarried, my stepmom had two sons around my age. Looking back I can’t imagine what it would be like for him to be in his 20’s with 5 kids. I wish I cut him more slack.

Things were rough, I slowly realized my dad didn’t have a grip on things. He lost his dad a few months before my siblings moved and he tanked slowly. Lost his business, started working at a construction company.

I remember him telling me his coworkers were all junkies, he seemed shocked and disgusted, I realized eventually he was shocked with himself too.

I noticed my dad changing, he was trying but slipping he felt he failed as a father, he felt oppressed by life.

One day on a long drive home from school he pulled over, looked me in my eyes, and told me these words “ Kelsie baby, I need to tell you something.. I have a bad monkey on my back and I don’t know what to do”.

We were arguing that day because he got his tongue pierced for fun and I thought it was stupid. I grew up in a town where if you did something dumb or reckless it wound up in the newspaper the next day. I was tired of that pressure, I wanted to be normal. I didn’t realize he was just trying to feel something, to feel anything at all in the boredom of the mundane.

I asked what he meant, he didn’t know how to tell me but I put it together a week later when I went searching for gum in the car and found a spoon and needle instead.

He told me he wouldn’t be like the rest, he could quit. He would definitely quit if his teeth started to be fucked up, if it messed with his looks. The night he told me that I watched him pick holes in his skin like worms were crawling under it.. fixated on his fixations.

We shared a ratty blanket, I still have it. We shared hotel rooms, we shared sleep paralysis (genetics) we shared an infatuation with space / aliens / and psychology.

He hid it well, he fought hard and when time skipped forward a couple of even harder years and many broken promises of sobriety I thought that I was teaching him a lesson by skipping town for a summer to visit my siblings.

I never knew it would be the last time I saw him. He was angry too and didn’t respond to my calls. I decided to stay for the school year, I would occasionally ask a friend to check on him, or deliver my message that I loved him and was sorry.

On October 9, 2009 at 10 am in my chemistry class I wept thinking about his funeral, how he wanted free bird to play and for everyone to drink and tell their craziest story of him. I was angry I had given up on him, angry I left him alone.

I later found out my dad passed away sometime in the early hours that morning. Waiting for my stepmom to return after a fight they had.

I never knew I would be able to tell this story in such a short and chalked up way. To be so precise about only a portion of something so much bigger. It used to feel impossible to tell the whole story, maybe I just needed to start with this part.

My dad was more than this story, he was a young dad, a hard worker, he was smart.

He offered homeless people jobs, never judged anyone, taught me the golden rule, but also how to defend myself.

He loved Metallica, Old School Rap, the anarchist lifestyle, gummy worms, Dr. Pepper, pumpkin seeds and jamming out with a drink in hand. He was good at impersonations and always had a joke up his sleeve.

He let us keep stray dogs as pets, he helped me nurse injured birds I brought home when I was little, he hated hunting for sport, and he probably would have had a farm if he had the time and could afford it.

He hated corrupt politics and injustice, he hated people who bullied others, he never took himself seriously, but he was confident in who he was. He always had perfect hair, he took pride in his looks, and he could be in a room with anyone and fit in.

I’ve had years of anger, I’ve had years of peace, I’ve had years of feeling so much I became paralyzed by it. But I’ve never been able to tell this part of the story, and that’s okay for this year.

My dad was Anthony Frederick Hawk, he was 37 when he passed he would turn 51 on December 12th this year, he has 3 grandkids he never got to meet. He is the reason I am who I am today, he was my best friend and he is missed dearly.

[savofid]

So, just watched Dream's "The Truth" video and it got me thinking about my story with false allegations. I guess that's what a trigger is, huh? That it triggered me, but in a neutral way? Maybe leaning towards good? I dunno. I'm stoned and wanna vent. So, I guess warnings for some pretty intense shit like sa, a mention of miscarriage, some talk about psychiatric care, a mention of r*pe, and some emotional trauma? It's not gonna be a good time, but I'll feel better when I finish.

So, my older sister is complicated, in the way that realizing everything is made of math is complicated. It's a lot of jargon. She has a mutation of the MTHFR gene (?) that inhibits her body's ability to uptake and process Vitamin B12. As a result, she has a deficiency of Vitamin B12, and that can lead to a number of complications in one's life. She has a hard time bringing a child to term, having had multiple miscarriages before she was properly medicated and now has three daughters. It interferes with the body's ability to properly send certain chemical signals in the brain, leading to a number of psychiatric issues, often presenting as schizoeffective disorder. Her heart, at any time for no reason at all, can just sorta... Stop.

I could be mad at her for the things that she's done to people, but I can't. It's not even because she's my sister. I hate two of my sisters because they're horrible people, and I've never even met my oldest sister and don't plan to. Family don't mean shit to me. No, I can't hate her because it's not her fault. No one knew what was going on inside her body and she had to spend 3 years in an institution because of it. I can't imagine going through that.

However, using that as an excuse for her actions wouldn't be right. She still did them. She wasn't possessed by some demon. There was some part of her that wanted to do it. I know because I have anxiety and am a recovering alcoholic, both of which cause a ton of intrusive thoughts about things that part of me wants but the rest knows I shouldn't do, even if that part is extremely small and incredibly wrong, like hearing myself tell me to punch some guy in the face cause he "looked at me funny." He was facing the sun and squinting. What I'm saying is that there was SOME malice to her actions, some reason her delusions manifested as they did. It'll make more sense later.

During the summers, my birth mother had visitation rights for the entire summer, so we'd stay with her for three months. When I was 12, we were there and, one night, I heard my dad walk in. It's the middle of the summer and he's supposed to be across the state, back at our house. He and my older sister leave, and my birth mother won't talk about what's going on, and everything is incredibly confusing. I found out a few days later what happened.

My dad had gotten a phone call from the local police department asking for my older sister to appear before the police to give a witness statement. He asked why, and they said that she had accused his friend of having raped her.

My dad's friend, Ron, was a school bus driver, and had been arrested by the local police following the allegation that my older sister made that morning while at my birth mother's house. He had to sell his car to afford a decent lawyer, spent the night in jail, lost his job especially since my sister was a minor and he drives, ya know, a school bus. He almost had a divorce from his wife of 45 years. His grandson was my best friend.

On the drive across the state, my dad only said one thing to her: "When we get there, just tell them the truth." Mind you, my older sister is my dad's favorite. I didn't even know she was the favorite until 13 years after he died. He believed her. He didn't ask her any questions because he didn't want to influence her story in any way, make sure that it's as truthful and accurate as possible.

They finally get there, it's around midnight. My dad just drove six hours at the drop of a hat for his daughter. They take her to be interviewed, and she instantly admits that she lied. Her reason? She didn't feel like she was getting enough attention from my birth mother and didn't think it would get that bad. She stayed with my dad for the rest of the summer.

A year later, I'm at home, just having a regular day, and there's a knock at the door. My dad answers and it's... CYS? They say that my older sister, in a recent discussion with her caseworker, claimed that I was molesting her. They're here for an investigation into the allegations. First, they interview my older sister. I have to sit across the house and wait for it to be over. About an hour later, they have me come in to talk to them.

At this point, it's pretty late. My little sister is ready for bed and is going up the stairs to her bedroom, and we happen to be sitting on those stairs. Instead of going to bed, she sits down and does what she does best: make herself the center of attention. I'm telling this guy my side of the story, and she's there, making a cat dance in front of me. The investigator admitted to having ADHD ("Adult ADD" as he said it, so I assume, in today's terms, that would be ADHD diagnosed in adulthood), and was having a difficult time focusing on what I have to say. Meanwhile, the time he spent with my older sister was uninterrupted and quiet.

Following their investigation, I was given a choice: I could either stay with a friend that didn't have any sisters, or I could live in the local group home. I knew some of the kids at the group home and knew that I did not want to be there, so I picked the one friend I had that I knew didn't have any sisters, my best friend at the time. He's an only child and his parents adore me and treat me like their own kid already. And, of course, they let me stay as long as I needed to. "It'll only be a few weeks, " says CYS.

I'm there for 6 months. Meanwhile, we're still going to school together. She was in a different building than me, so, by the time I heard that she was telling people about it, it had gone from "inappropriate touching" to that I had raped her. My reputation was shot. Everyone fucking hated me. I was already getting bullied before, so imagine how it went when rumors like that started spreading. I'd be bullied to the point of tears and even the teachers heard the rumors, so they didn't do anything about it. It took me two years to undo the damage she did because, in the court of public opinion, an accusation is worse than any verdict.

Speaking of verdicts, you can imagine there were many riveting court sessions during the 6 months I was pulled from my home. Usually one every couple of weeks cause I'm literally on trial for molestation as a fucking 13 year old who has no idea what's going on and I literally just now realized, 19 years later, that that's what that was. Holy fucking shit. What. I feel like I'm short circuiting and now I feel really fucking bad. Why do I feel bad? Oh, cause I was so used to "going to court" being for like family shit that it never occurred to me that it could be for anything else. I... Don't know what to do with this information?

Okay, maybe it wasn't a possibly somewhat good trigger. I guess I did say that it's not gonna feel good, and the only person who's gonna read this is me, so I was warning myself. And potentially you, ever mysterious reader who has no reason to be here, if you even exist at all? Anyways, I'm gonna fight through the melting brain and try to get to my point here.

After those 6 months and the now realization of having been on trial, it was determined that my sister has schizoeffective disorder, resulting in delusions brought on by an inability to determine the difference between reality and fantasy at times. The doctors postulated that she likely dreamed that it happened and believed it to be real.

Now, the only people who didn't believe my sister were the ones who knew both her and me. Even my birth mother saw the holes in her story and, during the trial, said, "Well, I don't think she's telling the truth. She's twice his size and she knows it. Any time he's done something she doesn't like, she hits him or throws him. If he really did try that and she didn't want it to happen, it wouldn't've happened. She would've left him so busted up that I probably would've needed to take him to the hospital. She would've broken him in half."

My dad said a lot of the same thing, even commenting, "I think I only recall one instance in which his hand touched her chest. They were wrestling on his bed, and she jumped up from the floor. He put his hand out to try to stop her from crashing into him, and it landed right... Ya know, *there.* He immediately pulled his hand away, but she punched him in the face, threw him on the floor, and managed to kick him a few times in the back before I could pull her off of him. She didn't care that it was an accident. She would've killed him if he did it on purpose."

I don't mean this as a way to say that my older sister beat me or whatever. I left her with just as many bruises as she left me. We were kids. We fought. We played rough. We used to throw those unopened and resinous pinecones at each other for fun, like they were dodgeballs or grenades. We just beat the shit out of each other all the time, and it was always 2v1, my little sister and older sister vs me (the three kids my birth parents had together, me having a total of 8 siblings including prior marriages and one affair). At 12 years old, I was 4'8" tall and 60 lbs. I was tiny. She, at 14, was 5'5" and 120 lbs. Twice my weight, 9" taller, and a lot stronger than she looks. She used to throw me by one arm and one leg for fun. I was the one that asked her to do throw me.

Now, you'd think it ends there. She went to a mental hospital, I went home, and then successfully quashed all the rumors overnight when it was determined that I was innocent. Life ain't movies.

During my time with my best friend, he slowly revealed that he was attracted to me. I was not attracted to him for a multitude of reasons, not just cause he's a dude. I mean, I like some guys, just didn't know that yet. Anyways, he started doing some stuff like trying to get me to touch his genitals or just outright grabbing mine, or walking in on me while I'm in the shower... Multiple times per shower. And a lot of other things that I just don't wanna talk about right now even though I probably already have. I, me, the reader and writer, know what they are, so I don't really need to?

Whatever.

The dude was sexually assaulting me on a regular basis and then threatening to get me kicked out of his house if I tell anyone about it, or that he'll claim that I admitted to him that I did it, or whatever heinous thing he can think of. I had to share a bed with him for half of the time I stayed there.

On top of that, I've got people basically ready to execute me at school. The game of broken telephone turns "inappropriate touching" into "rape," and the only thing that keeps them from actually trying to kill me is the fistfight I get into with the guy I'm living with. People still talked and still treated me like shit, but it just became a game of trying to figure out how far is too far. They had full rein to try, too, cause, like I said, the teachers had heard the rumors, too, and some believed it.

I had to go to therapy every Wednesday at 1 PM. The therapist I had... Wasn't very good, to put it lightly. You know, the common thing in therapy, often regardless of your methodology, is to let the patient lead the session, right? You merely give them the push to get started, and then it's merely a dialogue that the patient is leading. What would happen with this guy is that I would sit down, there'd be a little bit of small talk, and then he'd ask, "So, tell me about an interesting dream you had this past week."

He was obsessed with my dreams. I dream in super high detail and can remember them very vividly, which he found fascinating, I guess. He said he found my dreams fascinating, but was never really clear about what aspect he seemed to enjoy, so I'm just assuming it was the vividness. Next, he would then try to analyze that dream, and was incredibly Freudian about it. I mean both literally and figuratively.

On one hand, it's that symbols and signs in dreams have objective, universal meanings completely devoid of one's specific culture, beliefs, or upbringing. Red means danger. Ignore the fact that they associate it with good luck in China.

On the other hand, he manages to project his own feelings onto someone else's situation by not only telling me that a dream about my little sister being scared of a snake, so I took a shovel and killed it, that that dream means I want to sleep with my little sister. Not only that, but he also then tries to tell me that it's okay to have thoughts like that.

No. No it is not okay to have thoughts like that. It's also especially not okay to tell children that it is okay to have thoughts like that. What the actual FUCK is wrong with you? "Well, the snake represents the phallus." No, the snake is a representation of general bad stuff due to the fact that my dad just finished writing a book with heavy Christian tones and it's about to get published, so I'm afraid that it being successful can cause problems within the family. "No, no. I'm the professional here. I know what I'm talking about, and it's okay to have those thoughts." No. It. Is. Not.

So, we've got the sexual abuse by my only remaining friend, becoming a pariah, having an absolute creep as a therapist... What else? Oh, right. The complete and crippling anxiety I feel that, at any time, someone can just ruin my life with a few simple words. The first three were temporary, but that one is permanent. Now, I know that most people don't do things like this on a regular basis. Most people's brains operate the way we think they're supposed to. Most people don't have a super particular condition only detectible with a genetic test specifically for that one thing, or a general malice for anyone they can victimize, or are incapable of remorse. Most people are just people, and the vast majority of people don't know I exist. However, there's still that constant hum of "But it could happen again. Can I deal with it again?"

This one's gonna sound, I dunno, like a pittance compared to that, but I'm genuinely still mad about it. I raised fish for 5 years. I had a 50 gallon, a 30 gallon, a 22 gallon, two 20 gallons, and two 10 gallon fish tanks. I did all the work to maintain them myself, only getting help from my dad in starting the siphon for the monthly water changes. I developed my own breed of Corydoras catfish at 11. I fucking loved my fish, and the collective weight of all those tanks literally cracked the foundation of the house. For five years, I took care of them, learned a ton, did all my research into aquascaping and what species prefer what qualities of water and temperature ranges and where in the water column they like to hang out and their temperament and any detail I could find about each species before I added it to a tank. I was obsessed and this might be one of those "*ding!* You're probably autistic" moments but I'd prefer a formal diagnosis before I'd feel comfortable saying that I am.

So, I was gone for 6 months. All the work I was doing with those fish was mine alone. I was the only person in the house who knew how to do it in the first place. Can you guess the state of 162 gallons of water and it's respective fish? If you said "green and dead," you'd be mostly correct! While I was away, my older sister decided to make... An addition to my 50 gallon tank. The local pet shop, where I got all of my fish and was a known regular, had had this pair of angelfish longer than I had lived there. They lived alone in the same tank right by the door. She convinced my dad to buy them.

Had I been present for that conversation, we never would've gotten them, because I had already done my research. The fish we typically think of when we hear angelfish is a variety of Cichlid, like Oscars and Tilapia. A thing about Cichlids is that many of them are incredibly aggressive to fish they don't recognize. As a result, unless they were raised in that tank alongside other fish, they only see their tank mates as competition or prey.

All this to say that I came home to a bunch of algae ridden tanks, disgusting filters, rotting plants, and two very fat angelfish. My bumblebee gobies are gone. My iridescent sharks are okay but the smaller one is gone. My Corydoras are gone. My various tetras and mollies, gone. My gouramis are gone. The few fish left are the aforementioned iridescent sharks that were big enough to pose a threat and my plecos. I wanted to kill those angelfish, but decided that we should just return them to the store cause they're not acting out of hate or anger. They're animals and acting on instincts. They can't control that. They're innocent.

The one thing I lost and can never regain is her as a sister. I don't hate her. I know she has her issues and, yeah, maybe she wanted to hurt me, but plenty of people wanna hurt me. Most people don't. I'm not gonna try to claim I know why she wanted to do that as much as I can about anyone else that has hurt me. Maybe she really did dream that it happened. I wanna hate her, but can't bring myself to do it, no matter how much I suffered as a result. However, I can't, in sound mind and good conscious, maintain contact with her. In the event that she tries to say anything like that ever again, I don't know if I could deal with it. I'd probably completely shatter and... I don't really wanna think about that. For the sake of my own sanity and the tiniest sliver of peace of mind, I just don't interact with her at all. I've seen her once in 17 years, and that was at another sister's wedding... Where she was sent to stay in a hotel after a day and a half due to her not even acknowledging the fact that her children were causing issues and stressing that sister out. Talked to her all of five minutes.

This is by no means me saying to not tell someone if something happens to you. Please do! Don't be like me and mentally fucked for life due to shit that happened to me at the hands of someone else. It's not your fault, don't believe them. However, the people who use an accusation as a weapon do a lot more damage than they think, even if the intent is to deal as much damage as possible to that person. You're not only hurting them, you're hurting the credibility of everyone who actually is a victim of molestation, sexual assault, sexual harassment, and rape. Five different people, two were blood relatives, two were people close to me, and one was just a guy in high school that spent weeks trying to pressure me into letting him suck my dick, even trying to force me to do it in exchange for giving me a ride to work after the SATs. Fuck you, Chris. No means no. Back on track, three were women, two were men. I'm not gonna say that my experience can be extrapolated out to the public at large, mostly cause I don't want to think that the average victim has gone through as much or more than I have because that just makes me wanna cry that so people can be so terrible to others. It's been a while since I had a good cry, though. What I am gonna say is that it's already so hard to be heard when you just want someone to believe you in what is likely the worst time of your life, and making everyone look like a cry for attention just makes it worse. My mom doesn't believe that my 3rd ex raped me. She says she doesn't even know who that is, and that's my mom. She's supposed to be in MY corner and couldn't care less. My roommate cared when I told him, though. One of three hugs he's ever initiated with me in the 11 years I've known him. I'm so thankful to have him. I'm probably gonna marry him someday, even if it's just for tax purposes... He'll still be my husband and you better believe I'm calling him that. Love that man to death.

When people say, "If you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best," they haven't met me. He has learned more about emotions from me than he has from everyone else in his entire life combined. That's his own words. He's seen me at a variety of different edges, the highest highs, the lowest lows, bursting at the seams and completely devoid of anything. He's literally the reason I didn't off myself on two separate occasions, because I don't wanna leave him alone in this world. While he says he just wants to live away from everyone else, it's followed up with, "Except you. You can be there, too." He's been in more of my dreams than both my parents combined, and we've never stood in opposition to one another in any of them. We're always fighting together. We're just a pair of rocks.

I knew I'd feel better at the end. I fucking love my roommate. I might ask him for a hug when he wakes up.

[jadedhalos]

my therapist at this program told me to find the root cause to my abandonment issues .. i was so close to telling her to shove it up her ass . i’m not really in the mood for talking or feeling and that seems to be what everyone wants me to do . i guess it could be a step in the right direction tho . i wanna say my abandonment issues started at 3 years old.. my mom and dad would travel frequently and would leave me and my siblings with various family members for weeks at a time . we would primarily stay with my uncle .. we’re gonna call him “Uncle E “ . That’s when my abuse started . i remember i would wear those disney princess nightgowns … one night we were all watching the movie “aristocrats” and everyone was literally had fell asleep but me and him . he told me to come sit on his lap and i did and thought nothing of it i was a child. So i sat on his lap and that’s when he began to feel on my body and i immediately froze because i knew this was not a way i had ever been touched before , i tried to squirm away and he told to be quiet and not tell anyone out secret . It only got worse as the years went on. The worst was when i was 12 and my body began to develop .. it was like a night before my birthday and we were staying at my their house because my party was gonna be there . Everyone had left to get my surprise for my party and i was left with my uncle . i’d know when he was ready to do the usual by the way he’d look at me and smile.. but this time it was different he approached me and pinned me down and proceeded to kiss me and insert his fingers into me . i screamed in pain and that seemed to make him happier he told me to be quiet and that i was so beautiful . All i could do is silently cry while he went down on me. I’ve had depression since I was 3 years old since this has happened . around this time my parents had already divorced .. another abandonment i will get into further on . i remember i told my mother what had been happening to me crying with tears running down my face and she just looked me blankly in the face and told me that it didn’t happen . i pleaded for her to believe me and that’s when she beat me with an extension cord . after she did this she told my aunt and uncle e and of course uncle e denied it but looking back now i knew they knew he did it by the way they made me promise to keep quiet . That’s when my family abandonment slowly started . I was quickly labeled the liar and i wasn’t invited around my cousins a lot . i eventually gathered enough courage to tell my school therapist . she called the authorities and my uncle was arrested and charged . This was when i was 12 years old mind you . That day I was beat for hours at a time first by mom then by my aunt . They called me every name in the book at 12 years old . I couldn’t go to school for a week because the severity of bruises on my body . That’s the moment i lost my mom forever and what little love she had for me turned into hatred . During this time I’d cry and beg my dad to come see me or let me stay over his house , I never got to tell him about the abuse because my mom would stand near the phone to make sure i didn’t . This when i had father abandonment .. he knew my mom was an alcoholic and would verbally abuse us and hit us .. me getting the worst of it and he did nothing . From my sexual abuse and abandonment from my father turned me into a fear of men . all i wanted at that point was my father to protect me and show me how a man is supposed to love and care for his child . .. but i never recieved that till way later in my life . fast forward to now i still have abandonment issues . i feel like the child in me is still screaming and begging to not be left or thrown away . it makes me naive in a way because i continue to believe people when they say they’d never hurt me.. because i still want to have that glimmer of hope . which is why i’m in the predicament i’m in now . i believed him when he said he’d protect me that he’d never leave .. how could some1 that felt like home to me up and leave me in the cold .

[hotch-stufff]

hiii 47 and 7 for angst hotch

i love ur writing btw <3

Drunk

gif by hoe-tchner

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Warnings!: mentions of abuse, stalking, and death, past abusive relationships, normal criminal minds things, angst, crying, pining, but a fluffy ending

Promtps: Angst #7 "Are you drunk?", Angst #47 "You flinched"

Author's Note: Thank you so much <3, hope you enjoy reading!!

---------------

In hindsight, it probably wasn’ the best idea to get drunk at a bar. Especially alone. But you weren’t exactly thinking straight when you had stepped off the jet after a long case. And it had been a LONG case. Nearly a week of going through the same evidence over and over again scouring for a lead. Finally finding a lead, and coming to a dead end. 

The eventual lead that you did catch, led to the unsub already standing over her next victim’s body. At least you got a full confession. But you had been the one that had found the unsub. If that wasn’t enough, this case had already been hitting way too close to home. 

A woman was murdering victims of domestic abuse to “save them” because her mom was never “saved” from her father’s abuse. She had grown up watching it. Her victims had all had y/h/c hair, with y/e/c eyes. The same height as you, same style, just overall very similar. The only difference the team saw had been that you were never abused. At least that was what your file had said.

You had been able to keep it on the low for as long as you had been at the BAU. But you were terrified one of them would figure it out. That you would flinch at the wrong time, or you would do something to give it away.

You had gotten lucky and no one seemed suspicious. You ended up hiding in the back of the jet, curled up. No one bothered you. They all assumed that the case had just hit you harder. The one thing you hadn’t known though was that Hotch had been keeping a very close eye on you.

You two had become close, and would often hang out at each other's apartments. Spending tjme just talking about nothing and everything for hours. He had quickly become one of your best friends. You always went to him when you were upset.

But tonight, you just needed to get away.

Which is how you found yourself in this bar, downing your fifth drink. In the back of your mind, you knew that you wouldn't be able to drive home, or even walk without tripping over your own feet. You needed to call someone, and your drunk self called Hotch. While the phone rang you checked the time. 3 am. He was going to kill you.

“Hotchner.” You giggled drunkenly at his formal response.

“Why so serious bossman?” He recognized your voice immediately. 

“Y/n? Are you okay?” 

“M’great. Havin a blast.” You slurred.

“Are you drunk?” He asked and you giggled again.

“Mayyybe.” You slurred, concerning Hotch even more.

"Where are you?”

“Mabel's I think. But let me tell you. I think you need to come get me because there is no way m’drivin home.” He huffed as you heard noise coming from the phone.

“I'm on my way, stay there!” But you hung up. You were so excited to see him. Truth was you had definitely developed a crush for the man. Telling him that was going to be difficult, mainly because of your past, but also because he was your boss, and about 12 years older than you.

You waited for about 10 minutes before you heard the door ring as it opened and Hotch ran inside, frantically searching around. He found you and was quickly at your side.

“Y/n, are you okay?” You nodded sleepily. You always did get sleepy after your sixth drink. He gave you a concerned glance before reaching for your arm. You flinched slightly, but Hotch didn’t say anything about it. He picked you up because there was no way that you could walk, and carried you out to his car. 

“You’re staying with me tonight.” He had said once on the road. You lazily watched  out the window as buildings went by. 

“M’kay.” You mumbled. Hotch sent you another concerned glance. Something was wrong, but he couldn't quite figure out what. Usually when a case hit you hard, you would spend the night talking with him. He had been surprised when you hadn't shown up at his apartment. Even more shocked when you had called him drunk. He cared about you and it hurt him to see you like this.

Soon he found himself pulling into his driveway. He parked and quickly ran to your side of the car to help you out. He opened your door, and reached his hand over to unbuckle you when suddenly you shifted back. Your arms came up as if to block a blow and a whimper escaped your lips. 

“I’m sorry. I won’t do it again. I promise!” You let out, sounding much more sober now. Hotch stood there dumbfounded, not knowing what to do. 

“Y/n, it’s me, can you hear me, its Aaron?” You moved your arms from your face, peeking out wide eyed. You pulled your arms the rest of the way down. 

“Sorry Hotch. That was just, um, that w-was-” But he cut you off.

“You flinched.” He paused looking at the tears in your eyes, realizing that he needed to get you inside before you broke down in the car. “C’mon, let's go inside.” You bowed your head and nodded. 

“Okay.” You said softly. He helped you out of his car slowly, and walked you up to his apartment. Once there, you plopped on his couch, sobering up for the conversation you knew was going to happen. He walked in the room, a glass of water in hand. He handed it to you, sitting next to you. he waited a few moments before beginning the inevitable conversation.

“Y/n, why did you flinch?” He asked hesitantly. He didn't want to push you, but he was concerned and he wanted to know. So you told him. Every detail, every heartbreaking moment. The bruises, the scars, the hospital trips. Everything. The reports, the disbelief, the arrest, the divorce. Then the even worse parts. The escape, the stalking, the attack, the death. Every little thing. You could feel the tears falling down your face as you spoke about your ex-husband. 

Hotch sat as he watched the beautiful woman sitting in front of him break down. He didn't know any of this, none of it was in your file. He knew that Strauss had to know though, because you never would have been accepted without background checks and psych evals. 

His heart broke a little more every time you shared another detail. On one side it felt so nice to get it off your chest. On the other hand, it was weird opening up to Hotch like this. He was seeing so much more of you than you had ever allowed anyone since your husband. He sat in silence once you finished speaking. 

“Y/n. I'm so sorry. You never should have had to go through that.” And the tears came even faster, until they were silent sobs. Hotch, well he was more Aaron in that moment, brought you into his arms holding you tight, bringing you a comfort you hadn’t felt in a long time. “Shh, shh. It’s okay. I’m right here. It’s okay to cry.”He silently whispered into your hair. You looked up at him then, sighing softly at the beautiful man before you. 

“Thank you Aaron.” He loved the way his name sounded coming from your lips. But before he could tell you, he looked down to find you asleep in his arms. And that's how he stayed until morning. 

                       * * *

The next morning you awoke to a strange bed, with strange sheets, in a strange room. But one sniff and all you could smell was Hotch’s cologne. You soon recognized that there was a warm body behind your own, an arm wrapped around your middle. 

You almost didn't remember what happened last night, but once you did, you began to panic. What if he hated you? What if he was disgusted by you? He probably had just pitied you.  

He must have felt you shift, because he was waking up. His arm tightened around you, and he leaned up looking you in the eyes. He saw your panic and was alert rather quickly for someone who had just woken up. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked quickly, eyes scanning you frantically. 

“You must be disgusted with me.” You paused taking a deep breath. “I'm sorry Hotch. I ruined your night and then cried all over you with my pathetic life story. And you probably just pitied me. I'm sorry.” He shook his head. 

“Y/n, look at me.” You looked into his eyes. “I am and never will be disgusted by you. I am amazed by you. You are so strong and beautiful and you never deserved a thing that disgusting man did to you. I don’t pity you, not at all. All of this has just made me fall more in love with you than I already was.” You looked at him wide eyed.

“You love me?” He leaned a little closer.

“Of course I do. It's impossible not to.” You dared closer still as he moved a piece of hair from your face. The loving gesture warming your heart. 

“Thank you. For everything. I love you too Aaron.” And he sealed your lips. It was intimate and explosive at the same time. And in the most cliche way, fireworks exploded as you kissed him. 

You moved together passionately. Your noses bumped ever so slightly as he kissed you deeper than you had ever been kissed. He was an amazing kisser, to say the least. He broke away a moment later, smiling down at you. 

“Give me a chance to show you what real love is, what it's supposed to be.” You nodded.

“Of course Aaron.” And you kissed him again, sliding your hands around his neck into his hair. It was the happiest you had been in a very long time. 

So in hindsight, maybe getting drunk wasn’t such a bad idea after all. 

---------------

Thanks for reading! Requests are still open, so ask away! If i don't get to yours, I'm sorry!! If you would like an idea of what to request, here is my prompt list, and if you would like to read more of my work, here is my masterlist.

[justthehiddleswrites]

Accidently Married | Tom Hiddleston x OFC | Chapter 3 | And Miss Out on Mum Meeting the Girl You Married Without Telling Her? Not a Chance

A/N:  Tom makes certain comments about an ex (who is unnamed).  It is a fictional girlfriend, take from it what you will.  Keep your hate to yourself.  

SERIES MASTERLIST HERE

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x OFC (Molly Bishop)

Summary: Tom is stuck in a news cycle from hell; Molly is stuck in the dead end job of bartending with a pile of student and credit debt.  Tom has an idea to solve all their problems.  Get married, get the paparazzi off his back, divorce after a year and Tom pays off Molly’s debts.  Tom has everything figured out, that is until he sees Molly as more than a just a friend and so does someone else.  In this vying for affections who will win, the handsome Brit or the boy from Boston?

This Chapter: Molly finally gets to meet Luke and they try to convince him that this marriage is not some elaborate plot to manipulate the press.  And Tom makes a critical error.  We learn more about Molly and her past. 

Warnings: fake marriage, smut (vaginal sex), mentions of:  child abuse/neglect, foster care, substance abuse, cheating.

TAGLIST IS OPEN! PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED!  THANK YOU FOR READING!

–

Tom regretted drinking two cups of espresso the next morning before heading to Luke’s. He definitely regretted not eating anything more than a piece of toast with butter and marmalade. Even after Molly offered to make something for him.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to make you eggs, an omelette? I could probably manage some French toast before we have to leave.” Molly sipped her tea as she ate some oatmeal. 

French toast sounded divine at the moment as Tom’s stomach did somersaults. Molly’s knee bounced in the passenger seat on the way to the Prosper office. 

“Do you think Luke will yell at me?” Molly asked. “I don’t do well when people yell at me.”

Tom’s head snapped over at her. She sighed. 

“Foster parents are not always kind. Bio parents can be worse.” She wrung her hands. 

He reached over and squeezed Molly’s knee. “I promise I won’t let him yell at you.” 

“Thank you, Tom. Are we telling him the truth?” 

“Only if necessary.” 

“Then what are we telling him?” 

“That I went to Vegas, and I fell madly in love with you and on a whim we got married.”

“A fanciful tale.” Her head dropped to her chest. 

“Oh, I don’t know, darling. You sell yourself short. You’re bright, funny, caring and dare I even say easy on the eyes.”

Molly blushed. “Thank you. You are not so bad yourself. Although I seriously question your dietary habits.”

Tom chuckled. “I’ll work on it. And I hope after all of this we will be good friends.”

“Me too.” 

“Looks like we are here.” Tom parked the car on the street. He hustled around to open Molly’s door and help her out. “Time to face the firing squad.” Her eyes widened. “Kidding!”

By the time the meeting was done, Molly wished it had been a firing squad. 

-

“Luke, this is Molly Bishop, now Hiddleston.” Tom wrapped his arm around her waist. “My wife.” 

“My condolences.” Luke shook Molly’s hand. 

Molly’s brow furrowed. “I…” 

“Of all the stupid shit you have ever fucking done—” Luke started in on Tom. 

“Luke, watch your tone.” Tom jabbed a finger in his publicist’s face. “You are not to yell at Molly.” His bright blue eyes flashed and his fists clenched. 

Luke took a step back. “Right. Take a seat and let’s see if we can straighten this out.” 

They sat next to each other. Molly reached for Tom’s hand and he took it. Luke sat down behind his desk, staring at the two of them. Luke pinched his nose hard and took several deep breaths. Before speaking, he poured a glass of water and dropped two Alka-Seltzer into the water. Molly stared at the whole thing. Tom leaned over. 

“For later. Luke says I give him indigestion.” he whispered.

“And headaches.” Luke added.

“I can understand the feeling.” Molly muttered under her breath.

“I beg your pardon!” Tom twisted around to face Molly. “Et tu. Is this about the vegetables?”

“It wouldn’t kill you to eat one every so often. You’re not 21 anymore.”

Tom gritted his teeth. “I said I would work on it. Can we not talk about this right now?”

“You’re the one who brought it up. I was just making a comment.”

Luke’s head bounced back and forth like watching a tennis match, a smirk growing on his face.

“You two are good. Really good. Damn Tom, the lengths you will go to… hiring an actress to pretend to be your wife, that’s—”

“We got married, Luke. In Vegas.” Tom retorted. “Darling, do you have the copy of the license?”

Molly grumbled. “I do, but we are not done with the whole diet thing.” She rummaged through her purse and produced the folded piece of paper. “Show him the photos.” She whispered to Tom as she handed over the license. 

“I’m not showing him the photos unless I have to.” Tom hissed.

“Show me the photos, Tom.” Luke beckoned him. 

Tom side eyed Molly and handed over the license and his phone. Luke glanced at the license and then scrolled through the photos, eyes growing wider. He zoomed in on one and squinted. 

“Is that a spider ring?” he asked.

“His name is Clive.” Tom deadpanned.

Luke cuts his eyes at Tom. “Of course, you named it. You wouldn’t happen to have the ring, would you?” He turned to Molly.

She let loose a breath, exasperated. “Honestly,” she jabbed a finger at Tom and then Luke. “I was not expecting the Spanish Inquisition.” She dug through her purse again. “You are both lucky that I planned ahead.” Molly slammed the two Tiffany boxes on the desk. “There, here is your pound of flesh.”

Luke opened the boxes and found the spider ring and plastic gem ring. His eyes went to their proper rings and then ran his hands through his hair. 

“Holy shit, you got married.”

Tom rolled his eyes. “I have been saying that for the last 24 hours, mate. Can we move on?”

Molly giggled. 

“I… I… apologize. Sorry.” He sputtered, he turned to Molly. “I’m sorry, Molly. You have no idea the things this man has put me through.”

“I can imagine.”

“Hey! I—”

“Not talking to you, Tom.” Luke held up a hand. “I am talking to your bride. Clearly the reasonable one. Although she did marry you, so…”

Tom slumped in the chair. “Two of you. I thought you were on my side.”

Molly reached over and rubbed his arm. “I’m always on your side, honey.”

Tom smiled and leaned over and kissed her cheek. “Thank you, darling. Do you believe me now, Luke?”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but yes, I do.” He slammed his hand on his desk, rattling his water. “Now let’s talk about these.” He held up several newspapers.

Forty-five minutes later, they finally ended the meeting. Tom was starving. Luke grilled Molly about her background. By the end of everything, Tom now knew that Molly spent the ages of 12-18 in foster care, went to college where she worked two jobs to make ends meet, and has no contact with her younger brother who was adopted. Tom felt a twinge of guilt listening to Molly tell her life story. He never really bothered to ask. 

Luke led them to the door but stopped short. 

“How did your mom take the news, Tom?” Luke asked. Tom froze and paled. Luke leaned in. “You did tell her?”

Molly glanced between them. “I thought you called her when we got home.”

Tom ran his hands through his hair. Little bits stuck up. His mouth fell open and his eyes widened. “I forgot. I was distracted by someone yelling at me.”

“You haven’t told your mother about us?!” Molly screeched. 

Luke chuckled, which soon turned into a full belly laugh. “You are so dead, Tom.” Molly gasped. “You will be fine, Molly, but pray for your husband. There is nothing scarier in this world than Diana Hiddleston mad at her only son.” 

Molly gulped. “I will keep that in mind. Now if you excuse us, we have some calls to make.” 

Tom nodded, still reeling from the fact he didn’t tell his mum, or his sisters, that he got married. Fake or not. He hoped she hadn’t seen any of the photos yet. But knowing Emma and Sarah, they sent her the links. “Right, calls.” 

Molly pushed Tom out of the office and towards the elevator. She waved bye to Luke as the doors closed. 

“That went better than expected.” Molly shifted her weight from side to side.

“Yeah, yeah!” Tom blinked and came back to reality. “You were brilliant. What made you think to bring the rings?”

“People have the tendency to believe you when you can present physical evidence. That, coupled with the photos, lends credibility. I mean, who gets married with a plastic spider ring?” She laughed and Tom joined in. 

“Genius, really. Luke would have never—” Tom’s stomach rumbled. He blushed. “You were right I should have eaten something.” 

Molly stretched to reach his cheek and gave him a quick peck. “You will soon learn I am always right. Let’s find you some food and then you call your mother.”

“Fine.”

-

They found a place for Tom to grab a sandwich since it was too late for breakfast and not quite time for lunch. Molly stared on as Tom inhaled the sandwich, a bag of potato chips, and a bottle of water. 

“Did you taste any of that?”

Tom glanced up at her as he poked the last bit of the sandwich into his mouth. “Yes.” 

She shoved a napkin towards him. “You have crumbs on your face.”

Tom swallowed. “Thanks.”

“Call your mother.” 

Tom slouched. “Can’t we wait until we get home?” 

“No.” She stared him down. “If you don’t do it, I will.” Molly lunged for his phone, but Tom was too fast and grabbed it first.

“I’m calling her right now.” He held the phone to his ear, praying it would go to voicemail.

“Tom!” Diana’s warm voice filled his ear. “How are you doing, love?”

“Doing good. A bit of jet lag, I was in Vegas over the weekend.”

Diana hummed. “And how is Luke?”

Tom chuckled. “Angry at me as always.”

“If you would just listen to him…”

“I like her.” Molly popped in.

Tom waved her off. 

“I know, Mother. Listen,” He fidgeted with his hair again. Molly realized it was an absolute tell when Tom was nervous. “I was wondering if you might like to grab some lunch this week. We can catch up. So much as happened since I last saw you.”

“I would be delighted, Thomas. Why don’t you come up to the house? Does Wednesday work for you?”

Tom mouthed “Wednesday” to Molly, who shrugged her shoulders.

“Like I’m doing anything? You and Luke are the only people I know here.”

“Right.” He returned to the call. “Wednesday is perfect, mum. Noon?”

“It’s a date. Don’t forget to bring that wife of yours, Thomas. I am quite keen on meeting her.”

All the blood drained from Tom’s face. “I… I… can explain—”

“I’m sure you can. On Wednesday. I have to go, love. It was good to chat.” The line went dead.

Tom stared at the phone. “I’m so dead. She knows about you.”

“Oh, she knows. You are her son. And didn’t you mention having sisters? They totally ratted you out.” Molly smiled at him.

-

Tom had some appointments on Tuesday which kept his mind occupied from seeing his mother the next day. Molly took some time to figure out how to change her name, get a new passport, and figure out how to maneuver life in a foreign country. Tom took her to get a phone that would work. 

“Here you go.” 

The first thing she did was snap Tom to add to his contact list. He was laughing in the photo.

“Don’t use that one!” Tom pouted. “Let me pose.”

“But I like this one. It captures your essence.”

But now it is Wednesday morning. Tom woke up early to go for a run. Molly was already up, sipping tea in the living room.

“Can I join you?” she asked upon seeing Tom in workout gear.

“I run about three miles…”

“Sounds perfect. Give me two minutes.” She bounded off the couch towards her bedroom. 

Tom fiddled with his headphones until Molly emerged in sneakers and workout leggings. Over the ear headphones around her neck. 

“Ready to go.” She tucked her phone into a pocket. “I will just follow you.”

“Let me know if you need to turn around.” Tom winked as they set off.

They returned home about thirty minutes later.

“Sure you don’t want to go another mile?” Molly bounced on her feet. 

Tom breathed hard. “Maybe another time. I’m a bit out of shape. You run?”

Molly nodded. “Most days I run. If I get up in time. I miss the gym.”

Tom chuckled. “We need to get you a membership. And I need to ..get into shape myself. Can’t let my wife show me up in paparazzi photos.” he half-joked. 

Molly coughed. “They take photos of you running?!”

“Sometimes.” He took a sip of water, his heart rate going back to normal. “Definitely now with you in the picture.”

Molly raised an eyebrow, stepping towards him, grabbing the water bottle from him. “Think they are out there right now?” 

Tom glanced around and sure enough, he spied a few cameras with zoom lenses down the street.

“Yup.” 

Molly wrapped her arms around his neck. “Maybe we should give them a more scandalous photo.” 

Tom leaned down. “What did you have in mind?” he smirked as Molly tugged his head towards her and her lips crashed against his. She sighed and Tom slipped his tongue into her mouth. Molly did the same. As he fisted the back of her shirt, Tom noticed one of Molly’s arms moving. 

“AH!!” He screamed as the cold water poured down on his head and Molly jumped back laughing.

“I thought you needed a little cooling off.” she laughed.

Tom lunged for her with a smile on his face, droplets of water falling from his hair. 

“You’ll pay for that!” Tom gave chase, while Molly dashed into the house, screaming and laughing.

She made it as far as the living room before Tom’s long legs caught up with her.

“Got you!” 

Tom grabbed her by the waist to pull her towards him, but their feet slipped and they ended up on the couch. Tom on top of her. Their eyes locked for a moment before Tom scrambled to his feet. 

“I’ll get you all wet.” he commented nervously. “I should…”

“Right.” Molly nodded, sitting up. “I’ll make some breakfast. Eggs and toast. I don’t know what your mother is planning on for lunch.”

“A light breakfast would be best.” Tom shook out his now soaked t-shirt and Molly caught a glimpse of his abs. 

“No problem.” She smiled. 

They both headed off in different directions. When it was time to leave for Diana’s house, Molly fidgeted with her casual dress and knee-high boots.

“Do I look okay?” she glanced at Tom in jeans and a sweater. “I’m overdressed. Look at you, casually gorgeous. I’m going to change. I have nothing to wear. Nothing to wear…” Molly’s face broke down.

Tom wrapped his arms around her. “What’s going on, darling?” She buried her head in his sweater. “You didn’t freak out like this when we went to go see Luke.”

“That was business. This is your mother. I don’t do well with families, particularly mothers. What if she hates me?” 

He kissed the top of her head. “First off, you look beautiful. Second, if my mum hates anyone between the two of us, it will be me. She is going to love you, darling.” 

Molly sniffled and dabbed her eyes with the back of her fingers. “Really?”

“I am 100% certain. Now let’s get on the road.”

Molly smiled and nodded. The fear wasn’t gone, but she felt better knowing Tom would be there with her. That fear came rushing back as they stood on the front step of the house of Diana Hiddleston. Tom reached for Molly first. 

“I’ve got you, darling.” He leaned over and kissed her cheek right as the door opened.

“Gross, Tom. And at Mum’s house no less.” Emma gagged.

Tom’s cheeks turned a bright pink. “Emma! I didn’t expect you to be here.” He leaned in and kissed her cheek. “What a surprise.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “And miss out on Mum meeting the girl you married without telling her, not a chance.” Emma turned to Molly. “Emma.”

“Molly B… Hiddleston.” She smiled and extended her hand. Emma shook it with a firm grip.

“The papers didn’t give a name. She seems nice, Tom. Clearly she doesn’t know the real you.”

Tom continued to blush. “Thanks for the vote of confidence, Em. Can we come in or are we eating on the front step?”

Emma held the door open wide and stepped aside. They stepped inside. “Mum’s in the kitchen.”

As if on cue, Diana’s voice rang out. “Is that them, Emma?” 

“They just got here!” she yelled before turning back to them. “She’s been cooking all day.” 

Molly gulped. Tom squeezed her hand. An older woman with grey white shoulder length hair. She came up to Tom's shoulder, if that.

“You were supposed to tell me when they got here.” she scolded Emma.

“I was on my way to tell you.” 

“Go take the food out of the oven.”

“But…” Emma protested.

“Go, child. You’ll have the entire meal to listen to me yell. Right now I need a word with your brother.”

Emma pursed her lips as she walked into the kitchen but made a slashing throat gesture, mouthing the words “you’re so dead” at Tom before disappearing. 

Diana wiped her hands on her apron. “Now where is my new daughter-in-law?” 

Molly raised her hand. “That would be me. Molly, ma’am.”

Diana held open her arms and wrapped them around Molly tight. She realized where Tom got his hugging skills. 

“You are just a doll. Is my son treating you well?”

Molly nodded. “Yes, ma’am.” 

“So polite and much shorter than the last one. Right at eye height for me.”

“Mother…”

Diana waved Tom off. “And please call me Diana or Mum or Mom. I promise I don’t bite.”

Molly giggled. “Yes, ma.. Diana.”

Diana hugged her again before spinning to face her son.

“Tom.” She crossed her arms.

“Mum.” Tom grew very interested in the rug on the floor. 

“Do I get a hug?” Diana smiled. 

Tom looked up and grinned. “Always.” The two of them hugged tight, Tom bending at the knees to wrap his arms around her. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too.” Diana pulled back.

Her hand reached out and smacked Tom right upside the head. Tom cowered, covering his head.

“Mum!” he howled.

“You got married and didn’t tell me!”

“I was getting around to it. Luke distracted me!” Tom explained. 

Diana smacked his arm. “Do not blame Luke for this, he is a saint! You were keeping this lovely girl away from me.”

Molly beamed as Diana smacked Tom one more time. 

“You think I’m lovely?” she asked.

Diana turned to Molly. “Oh dear. You are perfectly charming. Unlike my wretch of a son.” Another smack to the chest.

“Really, Mum? In front of our guest?” Tom flinched.

“Molly is family.” Diana stopped, took a deep breath, and smiled. “Now with that sorted, let’s go eat.” She spun on her heel and headed back to the kitchen. 

Tom hooked his arm with Molly’s. “My mother.”

“I like her.” 

-

Emma and Diane pumped the two of them for every detail about this abbreviated courtship.

“A chapel in Vegas, Tom? Romantic.” Emma sneered.

“I thought so.” Molly added.

“Thank you, darling.” Tom leaned against her. 

“Awww.” Emma commented.

Diana stood to clear the dishes as Emma examined Molly’s ring.

“Let me help you.” Tom rose to help, taking the rest of the dishes. Diana grabbed his arm when they reached the sink.

“I really like her, Thomas. You did well.”

“Thank you. She is something.” Tom smiled.

“Much better than the last girl you brought home.”

Tom frowned. “Mum, I…”

Diana held up her hand. “I know. Don’t mention her. But I will say this. There was something about her that didn’t sit right with me.” 

“You never said anything to me.”

Diana smiled softly and cupped Tom’s cheek. “You seemed so in love and happy. And all I have ever wanted for all my kids is to be happy.”

“Oh.”

“But none of that matters. You have Molly now and the two of you have years of happiness ahead.” 

Tom glanced over to where Emma and Molly hunched over Emma’s phone. Tom’s heart twinged with guilt. 

“Right. Of course.” He smiled.

Molly burst out in laughter.

“What is so funny over there?” Tom called out, heading over to the table.

Emma giggled. “Just some old pictures.”

Tom’s face fell. “No, you didn’t…”

Molly giggled. “You were so skinny and that hair!” 

The two girls fell into a fit of giggles as Diane placed a hand on Tom’s shoulder.

“Yes, I like her very much.” she whispered. “Why don’t we pull out the old picture albums?”

Tom groaned. 

[violetwolfraven]

Willie Headcanons

So I actually came up with this like a month ago and forgot to post it. Anyway enjoy my headcanons about our favorite sk8er boi. Be ready for feels.

Tw: death, car accident mention, emotional manipulation.

...

In my mind, Willie had a good relationship with his parents. They were supportive and everything. They both loved Willie very much.

And Willie has youngest child energy so I’m saying he has a sister who’s 2 years older and a brother who’s 5 years older. Their names are Delilah and Austin.

AND ALL THREE OF THEM ARE ADRENALINE JUNKIES.

Seriously imagine the worst possible combination of head empty only skateboarding and you’ve got Willie, Delilah, and Austin.

Austin started skating when he was 7 and got Delilah hooked on it a year later.

Their parents kinda didn’t like the idea of it but those two had already started teaching Willie basic stuff by the time he was 3.

But... the other two had other interests. Delilah was into art (painting) and Austin played piano (like, really well).

For Willie, skateboarding was his thing. And it always was.

He had fun with it when his big brother would put his hands on his and teach him to play a bit, or his sister would give him some paint and a spare canvas and they’d doodle together, but it wasn’t like skating.

As far as I’ve seen (which admittedly isn’t that far) it’s widely accepted that Willie has ADHD so I’m leaning into that here.

And Willie inherited his brain from his dad, who had a bad experience with meds and so wouldn’t let any of his kids go through it.

So Willie grew up unmedicated but probably better off for the time period. His dad taught him coping mechanisms. Him and Austin. Delilah didn’t inherit it but she was taught to empathize with her brothers and recognize when they needed her help with something.

She’s a badass who can and does beat up anybody who’s mean to her brothers for missing social cues.

But anyway while Austin had piano (and skating as a side thing) Willie got even more hooked on skateboarding than either of his siblings because his brain latched onto it from a young age and couldn’t let go.

We all have our outlets. The chaos in our brains has to go somewhere. For Willie it goes into skating.

When he’s young he and his siblings will skateboard to school and then after school they’ll skate all around Hollywood for hours.

They do their homework in random McDonalds and Denny’s and tbh become local cryptid customers. Like they’re just these 3 super friendly skater siblings who tip really well and visit every fast food place within a 20 mile radius of their house with varying frequency.

They also find e v e r y skatepark, empty pool, and vacant lot in that 20 mile radius that they can possibly find.

Their parents have to bail them out of jail for trespassing and the occasional vandalism every so often.

Sometimes one of them has stuff to do and it’s just two of them out skating but if two of them are busy the other one never goes out alone cause it’s dangerous. We’ll get back to that later.

So anyway when they’re 17, 14, and 12, Delilah comes out as a lesbian.

And the family is supportive of course because they’re a good family.

But her coming out gets Willie thinking. About how some of his friends have crushes on girls but he just... doesn’t see the appeal.

Like he has a couple friends who are girls and they’re great and he likes hanging out with them at recess but he doesn’t get the hype. They’re just more friends. So he doesn’t really see what his big sister is so interested in either.

In my mind Willie actually is from around the same time as the boys (dying in like 1999) so one day while nobody else in their house is home he and Delilah are watching Star Wars: Return of the Jedi and Willie’s again wondering why people think Leia is so hot cause she’s cool and all but Luke is right there and he looks really good and—

Willie: I think I might be gay.

Delilah: Yeah I know.

They talk about it and Willie does decide to tell the rest of the family but he’s a bit wary about anyone else because he saw how some of Delilah’s friends turned on her after she came out. He doesn’t want that to happen to him.

He does end up telling a few of his friends but he doesn’t quite not care what people think of him the way his big sister does.

Austin is the only straight one and he’s like. So awkward about it but in a sweet way.

Austin: So, Britney Spears is hot, right?

Delilah: Stop.

And

Austin: So I saw you hanging around Chris the other day are you two..?

Willie: ...no...???

Austin: Cool, yeah I didn’t think so. Just had to make sure. Not that I’m doubting your ability to get boys but I’d have to shovel talk him if you were.

Willie: If I ever do get a boyfriend, please don’t.

He tries. He’s a himbo if that wasn’t clear. Where did you think Willie learned it?

So anyway fast forward a couple years and they’re 22, 19, and 17. Austin and Delilah are both in college and Willie’s the last one left at home and things between their parents start getting... tense.

Like they don’t fight exactly but they’ve fallen out of love and things are awkward.

Even Austin and Delilah can tell and they’re only home on breaks and some weekends but for Willie it’s right there and he’s watching it happen. He has no option but to see.

They used to have a rule that they don’t go skating alone because it’s dangerous but Willie just can’t make himself stay home so he goes out skateboarding.

At first it’s never too far from home or anywhere where there’s too much traffic but as things get increasingly awkward at home he goes out farther and farther, chasing the adrenaline high he used to get from going anywhere and everywhere every day after school with his siblings.

Then his parents officially tell him they’re getting divorced and

And it’s not like he couldn’t see it coming, but... it still hurts.

And neither of his siblings are coming home any time soon so

So he goes out skating on his own, way too far from home. He keeps going until he doesn’t even know where he is anymore.

He isn’t really paying attention the way he should but that’s not why he runs into trouble.

The driver of that red pickup is drunk and he rounds the corner out of nowhere.

If Delilah or Austin had been there they could have yelled for Willie to jump out of the way, or maybe up on the hood so the impact wouldn’t be as bad, but he’s alone.

So he gets hit, and the car was going fast enough that he’s dead before he even hits the pavement.

After that there’s a lot of confusion but once Willie figures out he’s a ghost... it’s too painful to think about going home, so he just... doesn’t.

He doesn’t want to see his family mourning him, so he just distracts himself, skating everywhere he couldn’t before without getting busted.

Plus some old routes where he used to go with Delilah and Austin, just for something that’s familiar but not too familiar.

He’s on one of those more familiar routes a few weeks after his death when he’s skating down Sunset Boulevard one night, singing along to Toxic by Britney Spears blasting from a nearby club and a man dressed in a purple suit comments on how he’s got a good voice.

Honestly Willie is just so relieved to have someone to talk to that he forgets about stranger danger completely.

Plus he recognizes an Elder Gay in Caleb and assumes he can trust him because the Elder Gays he met at pride that one time he went with Delilah were so nice and understanding of how reassuring it was to see queer people of older generations who got a happy ending.

Caleb barely even has to try. He just lets this 17-year-old obviously-queer ghost rant at him for a few minutes, asks a few questions and finds out that he also can play piano, and convinces him to come to the Hollywood Ghost Club the next night.

From there it’s not like Willie has anyone to save him so of course he has to join the club.

At first he’s completely alone because the other performers scare him almost as much as Caleb does.

Then slowly, he sees how they give him space because they know he’s scared of them. How they turn a blind eye when he leaves the club without permission. How they don’t critique his mistakes with the same sarcasm they show each other.

Willie starts to realize that the other performers are doing their best to look out for him, and he starts being less afraid.

They’re all too concerned with their own survival to really protect him but if they draw some attention to themselves occasionally so Caleb doesn’t notice Willie being slow to pick up some tricky choreography, that’s not too risky.

The others are all like 21 at the youngest and they really don’t appreciate Caleb tricking a literal child into working for him no matter how talented said child is. (Cause Willie is good at singing and piano. It’s just not his passion.)

The twins are 22 but they died in 1925 and before that they were performing to support a younger brother who they never got to say goodbye to so maybe they see Willie as a kind of second chance.

Lyssa (what I decided to name drummer woman because I don’t know her real name if she has one) is 25 and she died in 1984. She had a daughter who’d be about Willie’s age now and... who knows? Maybe they were friends.

Fuego is 24 and from 1951 and he had a childhood best friend who enlisted and died in WWII that he thought he might get to see when he died but that boy moved on and so... well, Willie’s just a little younger than his friend was the last time he saw him.

In short Willie becomes everyone’s baby brother and they do what they can to look out for him even if they’re just as scared of Caleb as he is.

And the better adjusted Willie gets to (after)life at the HGC and the better they get to know him, the guiltier the others start to feel about him being stuck there.

Eventually a combination of guilt and worked-up courage leads Fuego tells him about the whole unfinished business thing, in hopes maybe he can figure his out and get away from Caleb.

It doesn’t take Willie long to think of his family, how hopeless he felt about the divorce, how worried he was it would change everything and then how scared he was to see his family in pain because of his death.

He realizes his unfinished business is probably seeing them. Letting himself say goodbye.

He almost gets away with it.

Caleb catches up and stops him in the driveway of his house and poofs them back to the HGC.

He convinces (gaslights) Willie into believing that saying goodbye was never his unfinished business and even if it was it’s not like it would matter because Caleb wouldn’t let him do it.

The next morning he ships the HGC out to Tokyo. They stay on the move for a long time and when they are in town, Willie is basically locked in his room.

The next time he’s allowed out in Hollywood, his parents don’t live in their old house anymore and he has no way to find them.

As a coping mechanism, he just starts making the best of a bad situation. Becoming better friends with the other ghosts. Helping soften the blow whenever someone new comes along.

None of that means he stops checking the faces of passing skaters or keeping eyes on restaurants his folks used to like, but it does mean he more or less gives up hope.

That’s what he’s doing when he bumps into Alex.

Look, Willie loves his friends at the HGC. He really does. But there’s a big difference between 17 and 20-something. Like the others will drink alcohol some nights and technically Willie was born over 21 years ago but he still feels weird enough about it that he doesn’t drink.

He hasn’t talked to anyone his age in a long time so Alex is a breath of fresh air.

Also he’s like. Really cute. And sweet. And funny. And shit, Willie’s fallen for him before he even has time to think about it.

He keeps thinking about how Alex doesn’t seem like he’d be physically capable of hurting someone on purpose so Austin would approve and every once in a while there’s that sarcasm that pops out which means he’d get along great with Delilah.

In general Alex is the kind of guy he would’ve loved to take home to meet the family. Them not included, he’s kind of... everything Willie’s missed about Hollywood in the form of one person.

Then they hang out more and Alex is still everything he’s missed but he’s also so much more than that and...

It almost feels like a part of Alex is still alive. And for the first time in years, a part of Willie feels alive, too.

They’ve known each other for like a week tops and Willie is already in love.

Not that he’s admitting that to anyone, because he’s learned the hard way that anyone you care about can be used against you.

Still... when Alex asks for help getting revenge on Bobby, he can’t bring himself to say no because he needs to keep Alex in his (after)life and the only way he knows how to do that (or to make people be nice to him in general) is to be as useful as possible.

That turns out to be a big mistake, because Caleb sees right through him in an instant, targets Alex to confirm it, then immediately starts the process to trick the boys into committing to eternity at the HGC.

Willie feels like an idiot for thinking he could actually get away with it. Doing something good for someone he cares about.

He hadn’t thought Caleb would be interested in them because he’d never actually heard them play. The assumption was that he’d make them do some small favor and then let them talk to their bandmate for 5 minutes. A clean deal where they never have to commit to anything. Willie forgot to take magic into account.

He almost manages to convince himself it was all a bad dream, but when he seeks out Alex and his friends to check on them, he can almost feel the jolts himself, and seeing Alexthem in pain feels terrible.

Willie knows that theoretically they could figure out their unfinished business and cross over, but that all depends on finding it and doing it fast enough and if they failed...

People you care about can be used against you. And Willie does not want to be used against Alex again. He doesn’t want to see Alex used against him.

So he keeps his distance, in hopes Caleb will think he lost interest. He’s pretty sure once the boys find out about the stamp they’ll hate him, anyway.

And plus, as he’s been taught by his friends at the HGC, you have to look out for yourself because no one else will do it for you. Maybe you hurt somebody by not standing up for them, but you can apologize later and hope they forgive you. You can’t apologize if you’re gone, and it’s not like it would make a difference anyway because Caleb is too powerful for anyone to beat.

The thought of how spending eternity with Alex might not be so bad even if it has to be at the HGC does come up, but ironically that’s what makes Willie decide to screw his courage to the sticking point and tell them.

Because he has seen what decades at the club has done to his friends.

They’re all great performers, and they perform happiness well even to each other, but Willie knows them enough to know how tired they all are. How they have been doing the same thing over and over again for decades and they are sick of it.

They’re young, talented tragedies lost to drug overdoses, or AIDS, or accidents, or suicide, and they should’ve gotten to rest after everything they went through in their lives. Instead, they got a curse disguised as a blessing. They got to stay on a stage, got to keep performing and soaking up applause, never got to stop.

Willie has been there a shorter time than most of them and he feels it. The exhaustion, because ghosts are supposed to haunt for a few years then figure out their unfinished business and move on. They’re not meant to be trapped for decades, used as party tricks.

A part of Alex still feels alive and being trapped in the Hollywood Ghost Club for years on end would kill that part of him.

Willie can’t let that happen, so as hard as it is...

He tells the boys what’s wrong with them. And by that hurt, betrayed look in Alex’s eyes, he’s honestly expecting him to never forgive him.

But then Alex does. And that almost hurts worse because whether he figures out his unfinished business or not, Willie doubts he’s ever going to see him again.

He honest to God almost cries when Alex hugs him because... shit, he hasn’t gotten a hug since he was breathing.

He goes back to the HGC and tries to go about his day, and keeps replaying how good it felt to have Alex’s arms around him, hoping that memory will get him through the next few decades on his own.

The ghosts at the club do actually gossip a fair amount and by this point all of them know about the 3 dead members of Sunset Curve.

So when Willie admits to Helen (what I’m calling one of the twins) that Alex hugging him was the first time he’d gotten a hug since he died, she hugs him tight for a good 20 seconds, telling him she’s sorry he has to lose him, and if Willie closes his eyes he can almost pretend it’s Delilah.

The next thing he knows, he’s locked in a closet.

Caleb comes to talk to (intimidate) him a few hours later, saying he knows what Willie did.

He’s magically locked in his room alone for a couple weeks after that and it’s essentially psychological torture.

Helen, Anna (what I decided to call the other twin), Dante, Fuego, Lyssa, and everyone else tell him not to test Caleb for the next couple years, but Willie has a heart full of love and a head full of fuck it, so he doesn’t listen.

He gives it exactly one day of being/acting scared and obedient, then goes out without permission again, fully intending to scream in a museum alone to let out all his feelings.

Remember: Willie didn’t see the Orpheum performance. He doesn’t know the boys didn’t cross over but by Caleb’s mood he has a feeling the outcome of that scenario was not in the magician’s favor.

He gets there and it’s literally this comic by the very talented @williessweatycherrysocks

He can’t stay long but he and Alex scream in each other’s faces, talk a bit, maybe sing a duet.

After that, they sneak to see each other when they can but don’t get to see much of each other for months.

It’s hard on both of them but they don’t give up on their relationship.

Through long and complicated events which I will outline later, Willie eventually gets free of the HGC, hugs his friends goodbye already making plans to take down Caleb for good to free them, too, and promptly declines an offer to stay in the Molinas’ garage.

As much as he wants to be close to Alex he’s done being confined to one place.

He still comes and visits like every day tho.

He knows a lot more about ghosting than the other boys do so he and Carlos get along amazingly like:

Carlos: So do you know who Jack the Ripper was?

Willie: No? How old do you think I am?

Carlos: I dunno but I thought it might be Caleb cause that would explain how he never got caught.

Willie, taking notes in his Things To Potentially Use To Take Caleb Down notebook: You’re a tiny genius.

No one was expecting it but everyone is in awe of how well he and Carrie get along. Between the two of them they know so much celebrity gossip. (and it’s definitely a good thing he’s on good terms with her cause she and Alex are close)

On the angsty side, Willie also bonds with Nick over how they both know how it feels to be manipulated and used by Caleb.

Also it takes a long time before he’s able to trust him, but he does get adopted into the Molina clan by Ray.

Ray reminds him a lot of his own dad, once Willie’s able to see that he’s nothing like Caleb.

Ray’s honestly just 100% happy to Dad™️ anyone who needs a dad so it works out great once Julie and the boys figure out how to make Willie visible.

But anyway back to important stuff.

Now that they don’t have to hide for any reason, Willie and Alex can both breathe a little easier. Or... they both feel better. Ghosts don’t really breathe.

Willie can finally let himself get used to feeling alive again.

The whole ghost gang goes (invisibly) to the Los Feliz Homecoming dance and maybe it should make him feel a little on-edge with the kind of club-like environment but...

He’s got Alex there, and they’re dancing to some corny pop love song from the 90s that Flynn probably put on because she knew the ghost boys would be there so how could he feel anything but safe?

For a minute it almost feels like actually being alive and there’s yellow and pink and blue lights coming from everywhere reflecting in Alex’s eyes and Willie is suddenly very aware of the fact that though they’ve been together for a long time now, they haven’t had their first kiss.

Then the Cha Cha Slide starts up and the atmosphere switches and Willie totally forgets about the whole romantic tension thing because it’s the Cha Cha Slide everybody has to dance along.

Dirty Candi performs towards the end of the night and the ghost boys cheer the loudest despite how Julie’s laughing at them. They don’t care that Carrie can’t even hear them, they’re being supportive!!!

Everybody screams even louder when Flynn runs up on stage and kisses Carrie and Willie feels a big burst of affection at how Alex shouts ABOUT TIME!

Then he gives Willie a quick hug and leaves cause he and the rest of Julie and the Phantoms have to go get set up for their performance.

Since Alex was able to flip Carrie’s hair in All Eyes on Me I’m saying that ghosts can touch lifers if they focus and believe it will happen hard enough, so the ghost gang has developed a system for alerting their non-Julie lifer friends to their presence.

So while they’re waiting in the crowd Willie taps Carrie on the shoulder like: • - - one short tap, two long taps, a Morse code ‘W’ and Carrie lets Flynn know that he’s there.

(Nick can see him too but Nick’s off somewhere with his date {one of his lacrosse teammates you know the one})

Anyway so Julie goes out and starts up the song and then the rest of the band poofs in but

Something’s unusual.

Cause it’s not Luke on the lower main vocals.

It’s

Alex

Singing while he plays the drums and fucking killing it.

Willie totally bluescreens for a second but then when he actually focuses on the lyrics...

It’s a new song about beating the odds and being with the person you love in spite of the challenges that come with them.

And yeah there are Julie elements in there, (and she’s definitely making heart eyes at Luke even as he sticks to backup vocals) because of course there are since she has to start the song up, but

But Willie might not have any formal music training, but he was at the HGC long enough to know his stuff about music and recognize different artists’ styles.

And there’s a time signature switch on the bridge that’s a little off from how Luke would write it. There’s a swing to the melody that’s a bit more ‘pop’ than the band’s usual songs. Julie’s harmony doesn’t go as high as it normally would, as if whoever wrote the song didn’t have as high of an upper range to work with as she does.

The song is so unmistakably Alex that no one else could have written it.

Flynn and Carrie are quietly making smug comments on what they bet his face looks like right now but Willie’s not listening to them.

On the last chorus, Alex fucking winks at him right before poofing out.

Willie has whiplash like how did they go from him having to psych Alex up to break into a museum even when there’s zero chance of getting caught to Alex openly flirting with him from the stage?

He poofs backstage right as the boys get back from dropping their instruments back in the Molinas’ garage and he honestly doesn’t know what he even wants to say to convey how amazing that performance was.

Then Alex just smiles at him.

Alex: So I take it you liked the song?

Willie: Can I kiss you right now?

They both kinda freeze after he blurts that out and Reggie goes wow really quietly before he and Luke poof out to give them some privacy and whoops now they’re both flustered but

Alex: Wow, didn’t expect that. That’s... um, wow. But yeah.

They kiss and it’s a total romcom moment.

And the story’s far from over, but to Willie this definitely feels like happily ever after.

[ricksroaches]

Jimin - Dysphoria ch. 2

pairing: Yoongi x Reader, OT7 x Reader (platonic)

summary: Jimin gets in trouble defending Y/N. Later that night things get deep.

notes: Y/N is based of an OC so if a few traits don't match yours I'm sorry T.T. To clear things up, this chapter takes place like a year before the actual storyline. Present day, Y/N and Jimin are juniors.

word count: 4.5k

warnings: cursing, mental illness, drugs (weed, LSD), smut (fingering, spanking, v penetration), mentions of sexual assault

Prev chapter Next chapter

Jimin lost his virginity when he was 14.

Too fast? Ight let’s take it back a little.

Jimin was the perfect kid. Obedient, polite, compassionate, the ultimate parent dream package. He was born to please everyone. To give everyone joy, even if that joy was his own. But it wasn’t enough when it came to his parents. Their marriage was rocky even before he was in the picture. They divorced, and his dad moved out when he was 8, leaving his mom to raise him and his older sister by herself. He got a good lawyer and ended up getting out of custody, but his mom managed to get decent child support out of it. If one thing is true about this world it’s that a man with deep pockets can get whatever he wants.

Jimin wouldn’t see his dad for another four years, but life went on as it does; he continued to excel in dance, make good grades, make everyone happy. That was, until Seunghyun came into the picture.

He seemed okay at first. His mom had met him through a friend, and it didn’t take long for them to start dating. He was nice enough, handsome enough, wealthy enough. Jimin remembered the day he met him for the first time.

“Hey, Jimin right?”

“Yes sir.”

“I’ve heard a lot about you. Your mom talks about you a lot.”

“…thank you?”

He laughed. “How old are you?”

“11.”

There was a pause. He simply nodded a few times before clapping him on the shoulder. “You’re a good kid. Keep that up.”

Seunghyun began coming over more and more frequently, most times even staying the night. Jimin had grown to like him quite a bit. He always brought something for him like a candy bar or a pair of Ray Bans he didn’t wear anymore. He often took him out to get ice cream and other spur of the moment treats.

Jimin's sister, Roseanne, was also a dancer. In fact, she was the reason he started. She was the whole world in his eyes and the most beautiful dancer he’d ever seen. Her dancing was the kind that sucked the air out of the room. No one dared breathe as everyone’s eyes followed her fluid movements. You simply couldn’t take your eyes off her in fear of missing a detail. It didn’t matter what you were doing. If Rose was dancing, you were watching.

Rose had a dance tournament in L.A., a solid 6 hour drive from their home in San Francisco. Mom was too busy with work to take her, so Seunghyun offered which she gratefully accepted. Jimin wasn’t worried at all, he knew she’d beat everyone there, which was why it surprised him to see her come home with a broken spirit. When he asked her what happened she simply said, “I didn’t make it.” He consoled her while she wept throughout the next two nights.

It wasn’t until the boys’ trip Seunghyun planned as an extra birthday gift that he would understand Rose’s tears. He’d just turned 12.

Jimin separated his life into two books. One of his life before that trip. The other, his life since. He often kept himself up at night wishing he hadn’t gone, and that he would never become the person he is now.

What happened on the trip, however, it didn’t stop. In fact, it happened more and more often, and it wasn’t just him, it was Rose too. The night Jimin heard Seunghyun slip into his sister's room next door, he made a decision.

He started taking the brunt of Seunghyun’s doings to keep him away from Rose. He could tell she was wilting. Her dance had become lethargic and she rarely competed anymore. Jimin wouldn’t have that. If he had one purpose in this world, it was to make Roseanne happy.

The promiscuity began in 7th grade with his first kiss at the back to school dance with Megan Shelby, one of the most popular girls in school. Their brief relationship rocketed him to the top of the dating hierarchy. By the end of the semester, he’d had 3 girlfriends and 4 boyfriends. Oh yeah, he knew he swung that way for a while now.

By 8th grade, things became more sexual. He just needed more. That rush that he got feeling someone else’s lips on his, getting to touch their body any way he liked, being touched himself, it was addictive. In those moments, he could forget about everything and enjoy himself for once.

His first nude was leaked by a boy who pretended to be gay for a month so Jimin would send to him. He didn’t have much shame when it came to sending nudes. He never asked for any, he was a gentleman. But if asked, if the guy was cute enough, he would.

Jacob. God that boy. Jimin was head over heels for that boy. Whatever he wanted, Jimin did. His first time giving head was pretty scary. He gagged a lot and could barely fit half of him, but it was the hardest he’d ever been in his life.

It didn’t take long for Jacob to want more than blowjobs. It was a spur of the moment thing, really. It was the summer before freshman year, Jacob had gotten them invited to a high school party, and Jimin’s mom had just broken up with Seunghyun (for reasons unrelated to this story). That was also the first night Jimin had ever gotten drunk. This was his night to secretly celebrate his freedom from the burden he lived with for three years. He took to the stuff rather quickly and before long Jacob was carrying him slurring up the stairs to a bedroom for him to rest.

Jimin playfully initiated a make out session that got pretty hot and heavy thanks to the alcohol. It was then that Jacob pulled back and popped the question. Jimin thought about it for a good 4 seconds before smashing his lips back onto his beloved boyfriend’s.

A new chapter in the Book of Jimin was written that night.

Jacob ended up cheating on him to which Jimin proceeded to rack up the highest body count in the school. It’s ancient history.

Despite his vigorous sexual awakening, Jimin remained the same angel in every adult’s eyes. It was hard to live with the memories of Seunghyun that plagued him almost every waking moment. He was finding it more and more difficult to come up with excuses for his breakdowns that sent him home from school. He couldn’t tell his mom. It would break her heart. So he dealt with it on his own, hiding all of his pain and fear behind a polite smile.

~~~

SOPHOMORE YEAR - OCTOBER

“All I’m saying is, dying of old age is like dying from not dying.”

Jimin swung his locker closed revealing the unzipped hoodie clad Y/N leaning against the locker beside him. “It took you ten minutes just to say that?”

“If you won’t appreciate my philosophical ideas then I will take them elsewhere.” He eyed her down.

“Y/N, you probably can’t even stand up straight right now.”

“And why might you say that?”

“Because it’s the last day before fall break I know you're high as tits right now.” She let out a slurred chuckle. She leaned her temple against the red metal and gazed at him with a dopey smile spread across her face. “Yeah, uh huh. Didn’t even share with me, bitchass. Now let’s go.”

“Yessir.” She stuffed her hand in her shorts pockets in search of her keys when a rough slap to her ass made her stiff as a board.

“Nice ass, L/N. You should wear those more often.” She could barely recognize the voice as Will Jacobs before he was on the floor with Jimin on top of absolutely wailing on him. He paused his assault briefly.

“You never touch her! You hear me?!”

Will glanced at her before zoning back in on Jimin. “Her? Tell her not to wear something like that and not expect feedbac-” he was cut off by Jimin's fist connecting to his nose with a delicious crunch. He didn’t stop, though. He kept punching and punching and punching. By now, a crowd had formed shouting and chanting for either boy. Y/N didn’t do anything to stop it. She stood there, keys dangling from her finger, in stoned awe. Although the sober side of her would’ve enjoyed to see it happen nonetheless. She was also too stoned to warn him about the principle marching towards the pair.

“JIMIN PARK!” His fist stopped midair, fully reared back to strike. The circle scattered like rats upon their fighters’ capture. He was yanked up by the back of his shirt and Will was hauled to his feet by two security guards, a shit eating grin on his blood smeared face. Jimin turned to Y/N, who’s mouth was still hanging open, while being dragged to the office.

“Just go without me. This is gonna be a while.” To which she dumbly nodded and made her way out of the building baked and confused.

~~~

The sun had set and Y/N still had no word from Jimin. She assumed his mom took his phone as punishment or something so she went about her business, albeit a little bummed.

She had just settled on her bed with her bong nestled in her lap when a soft knock at her window made her jump. She whirled around to see Jimin crouched outside her window. She unlatched it and shoved it up with a half annoyed huff half sigh of relief. “What the hell are you doing?” He ignored her query and slipped through the window and rolled onto her floor.

“I told my mom I’m at Tae’s. I just wanted to see you after earlier.” With a nod of approval, she turned around to inspect her bong for any damage.

“I live alone dipshit you could’ve used the door.”

“Oh, right. I keep forgetting that.”

Yes. Y/N lives alone. We’ll unpack that later.

“So what happened?” She settled back in her spot but set the hot pink crystal contraption on her nightstand. Jimin crawled onto her bed and collapsed into the soft blankets. The smell of weed mingled with the lavender fabric softener to create a devastating blend that could knock anyone out for hours.

“Most of it was just them saying how disappointed they were and how I tainted my ‘flawless’ record. They didn’t even address the reason I gave them for doing it.” His lips twitched into a hateful scowl briefly. “They’re suspending me for three days.”

“But it’s fall break.”

“Exactly, that’s why I’m suspended the first three days we get back. Jokes on them, I just got my break extended.”

“What about Will?”

“He was in the nurse’s office the whole time.” She casually lifted her fist and he bumped it.

“That’s my guy.”

There was a comfortable silence while the two relived the moment in their heads. She was thinking about how stupid she probably looked watching the ordeal. He wished he’d done more damage.

“Hey, Jimmy boy?”

“Yes, bitch?”

“You wanna get high?”

Y/N had just gotten a new sheet and wanted to try it out. They placed the tabs on each other’s tongues and watched the little mushroom design dissolve. An hour later they were sitting across from each other staring at the other giggling incoherently.

She studied every one of his features like it was the first time she’d seen him all over again. His peach hair was parted down the middle, bangs brushing his temples. His clean, solid eyebrows were in perfect contrast to his sun kissed skin. His eyes formed tiny crescents when he smiled only adding to his adorable look. His smile…….his smile. Perfect, pink, pillowy lips she could only describe as belonging to an angel. Glowing white teeth that radiated beauty every time he opened his mouth. His face slowly began to look like an oil painting on canvas the longer she stared at him. Her smile grew ever wider as she traced the brush strokes along his jaw and the delicate shading of his toned neck.

Jimin gazed at Y/N’s face with pure adoration. All of his love for her magnetized by the dopamine dump in his brain, and he hoped she saw herself the way he did. Her wild curls wiggled in place like a cute version of Medusa’s snakes. Very fun to look at when there’s a whole mane of it. Her freckles sparkled like dots of purple and blue glitter and the moonlight that hit the apple of her cheek shimmered and twinkled like it was coated in diamond dust. A barely audible giggle slipped from her parted lips. It made him giggle too. “What?”

“I’m just so happy…” her spacey smile said it all. He could see in her eyes that she truly meant it. He watched as the color changed from blue, to green, to hazel, to grey. The colors mixed and faded slowly and if you didn’t focus you wouldn’t catch it. He counted each individual fleck of gold in the center of her irises and they glowed like fireflies on a summer night.

“…Jimin..?”

He snapped out of his daze to see that her eyes were wider than they were before. He also realized that she was laying on the bed, and he was on top of her. He was frozen. When did that even happen? He stared back at her with equal shock but neither moved away. Her eyes didn’t show any signs of fear or discomfort. She was just surprised.

Every thought he ever had about her was rammed to the front of his mind and he had the crushing need to show her how special she truly was to him. Without further ado, he smashed his lips down onto hers. She let out the tiniest squeak before quickly returning the favor. She carded her fingers through his hair and pulled him father down to deepen the kiss. His chest was now pressed against hers and the grip on his hair tightened. Few breaths were taken between kisses while she pushed his jacket down his arms and let it drop to the floor.

Jimin took it upon himself to slip his hands under the hem of her shirt and pull it over her head. He slid his palms up and down and stomach and waist, completely lost in the distorted sense of touch that hypnotized him. He was reminded of his task by a soft tug on the hem of his own shirt which he hastily peeled off before diving back into another kiss. He took his course to her jaw and then found purchase on her neck, sucking and biting until wine colored marks dotted her entire neck and collarbone. He made quick work of her plain black bra and tossed it behind him to an unknown corner of the room. He got to work making his marks anywhere and everywhere he could reach. The sharp rise of her chest when she gasped only spurred him on.

His hands snaked down her naked torso and yanked her sleep shorts out from under her before slipping his fingers under the waistband of her undies. Simple black Calvin Klein cheeky cut. Modest, yet tasteful. Her thighs jerked when he found her clit and started rubbing smooth circles, drawing out a silent cry from her behind his lips. He made sure she was good and wet before sinking two fingers past her lips, earning another heavy gasp that made her chest heave against his. He broke the kiss and leaned back much to her disappointment. He pumped his fingers in and out, finding every little nook and cranny to massage. He pressed his palm into the space between her belly button and her entrance and curled his fingers in a ‘come here’ motion, eliciting a satisfying cry from her. He burned the sight of her back arching off the bed at his handiwork into his memory permanently.

He curled and pumped his fingers faster and faster until her walls clenched around his digits and her body shuddered and twitched from the force of the climax he’d brought her. She collapsed against the bed a heaving mess and he gazed down at her with a devilish smile. Demon Jimin had come out to play.

In a flash, he was out of his jeans and back on top in only his boxers. His muscular thighs and arms caged her underneath him as he raked his eyes over her figure before landing on her last remaining article of clothing. Before she knew it, she’d been flipped onto her stomach. His hands glided up her thighs and kneaded the flesh of her ass. With a rough tug, she heard the sound of fabric tearing and cold air hit her core sending a shudder down her spine.

A single, dazzling smack stung her right cheek before the pain was kneaded away. He pressed his body into hers and spoke low in her ear, “You feel that? Only I’m allowed to do that. No one else.”

She could feel the familiar hardness grinding against her ass sending another shiver through her body. He chuckled darkly. “You like that, don’t you?” She nodded, her face pressed into her pillow. He dug his fingers into her hips and abruptly yanked them into the air. Her yelp was muffled by the pillow but he definitely heard it. His boxers were discarded and he lined himself up at her entrance. He teased his tip against her folds watching them flinch with every touch. He sunk his full length into her evoking a high pitched cry from her and a low groan that ripped through his chest.

He wasted no time setting a rhythmic pace that had them both a moaning mess. They could feel every single square inch in 4K and their brains could barely keep up. He was so lost in the feeling he didn’t realize he’d sped up significantly and she was gripping the pillow to muffle her pleasured cries. “Why are you hiding those beautiful noises?” He wrapped his hand around her neck and hoisted her upright on her knees. “I want to hear everything that I do to you. Don’t you dare hold back, because if you go quiet I’ll only fuck you harder.”

He sacrificed speed for force in the new position. More sounds of pleasure spilled from her lips with each snap of his hips. His arm snaked between her breasts to grip her neck and pull her to his chest while he fucked into her with devastating force. The harder he rammed her cervix the louder the cries he squeezed out of her. He increased his speed once again leaving her a rag doll in his arms.

With another flip, she was on her back again and he was back inside her before her vision steadied. He hooked her thighs over his own to get a better angle which sent her curling off the mattress once again. Her head was thrown back and her eyes were squeezed shut to concentrate on the feeling. He gripped both cheeks in one hand and pulled her face down. “Look at me.” Her eyes fluttered open and she tried to find his face among the stars that jumbled her vision. He lined her face up with his, “I want to see those pretty eyes when I make you cum around my dick.” She breathlessly nodded and tried to maintain his scalding gaze while her body was getting shoved into the mattress with every thrust. The headboard cracked against the wall, accompanying her escalating cries when his thumb moved to circle her clit again.

“..-m I’m-”

“Go ahead. Do it.”

Her walls instantly clenched around him eliciting a jagged groan and his daze darkened. He pounded into her while her climax had her screaming loud enough for him to break. He finished after a burst of inhumanly fast strokes, burying his shaft as deep as he could to shoot his load and riding it out with a few hard snaps of his hips. His eyes never left the sea of her irises.

He leaned back and sat on his heels. The only sound in the room was their ragged breaths. He let his head fall back to relish in the aftermath of his ministrations. She watched the beads of sweat trickle between his abs with each swell of his chest. She never thought she’d find herself in this compromising position with someone like Jimin. Yeah, they made out a few times when they were bored but that couldn’t hold a candle to what just went down.

Jimin slid out and rolled over to lay next to her.

“Jimin?”

“Yeah?”

“What are you?”

After a shower that quickly turned into round two, they were dressed and tucked in bed. Her head rested on his chest while she fiddled with the collar of the oversized (on her) grey shirt she’d given him. His arm was wrapped around her waist and his fingers traced her ribs under her shirt in slow, meditative strokes. The old Jimin was back.

“Jimin?”

“Yeah?”

“Why’d you freak so hard with Will? You’ve never gotten in a fight at school, ever.” Her head bobbed with the heavy sigh that escaped him. She lifted her head to look at him. He stared up at the ceiling with a distant look in his eyes. His pink lips curved in a slight grimace.

“You don’t have to tell me.”

“No. I had to tell someone eventually. It might as well be now with someone I trust.” She couldn’t help the rush of confidence at his comment. That good feeling died quickly when she processed what he said. “My mom used to date this guy, Seunghyun.” He had to pause to adjust to saying his name. “He was nice. I liked him. A lot.” She watched his eyes dart around the ceiling trying to remember details of the memory. “They’d been dating for about a year. He was gonna take me on a boys trip to his lake house for my birthday. My sister….She tried to convince me not to go and…and I didn’t know why.” His voice trembled with the last words. “The first night he made me sleep in the same bed as him…The second night…” He looked up to blink the tears out of his eyes. She reached up and wiped them for him with her thumb. “The second night, we were getting ready for bed, and he asked me if…if I knew what sex was. I said yes thinking he was trying to give me the talk. He asked me…..if I ever touched myself…I didn’t know what to say so I said no.” His voice caught in his throat, his words coming out at a higher pitch. “He-” His lips pulled back in a quivering frown and his chest beat with one single, silent sob.

“It’s alright, it’s alright, take your time.”

“He came up behind me…and he stuc-….he stuck his hand…down my underwear.” His free hand flew to cover his squeezed shut eyes, gripping his forehead. “He kept asking be if I liked how it felt…I said I-I didn’t know so he kept going.” It tore her apart to see him struggling to speak the way he was. Tears of her own started to stream down her cheeks. “I worked up the courage to tell him to stop and he did. I tried to sleep on the couch in the other room but I woke up in his bed the next day. I don’t know if he…did anything, but the third night I was standing on the dock connected to the house. It was too dark for the neighbors to see anything. He came up to me again. He asked how I liked the night before again and I was too afraid to say anything so I didn’t. He did it again, but this time he pulled his out and…tried to get me to…t-touch it. I didn’t so he took my hand in his and…,” he took a deep breath “and he…u-used it to-”

“You don’t have to say it.”

He nodded

“I never finished…he did. I don’t remember the last day but I remember on the ride home, he said that if I told my mom….it would break her heart. And I didn’t want to break her heart-”

His sobs came out in soft, rapid beats but she was quick to pull him into her chest to soak her t-shirt. He buried his face in the crook of her neck and squeezed both arms around her torso while his cries shook the pair in silence. She didn’t say anything, simply wrapping her arms around his neck and planting kisses on his ears and shoulders.

“That wasn’t the only time, was it.” He weakly shook his head into her neck. “You don’t have to talk about it. You already did so great. You’re safe.” She continued to stroke his hair while his shaking began to plateau.

“You’re safe.”

~~~

The next morning was peaceful. Jimin woke up not feeling like shit like he’d expected. He actually felt….good. Given the bomb he dropped last night. But, she didn’t treat him any differently than she did the day before, and he was grateful.

She cooked for him while he showered, and they hung out having their regular old conversations like nothing happened. Although he noticed something. She was sober. It was nearing 6:00pm and he hadn’t seen or smelled weed since he barged in on her session. She stayed sober….for him. He didn’t like to admit it, but he enjoyed sober Y/N better. Granted, he still loved her any other day of the week, but he loved seeing her natural personality when she wasn’t in a dark place at the moment. And she didn’t seem to be now. Sober Y/N was smart. Sober Y/N gave great advice, and before she dropped him off at home, she left him with some.

Jimin typed in the code on the door and the lock clicked with a mechanical whir. Making sure not to make much noise, he shut the door behind him. He made his way upstairs and down the hall. Framed photos of him and Rose dotted the walls, and as time went by, their smiles were more and more forced. No one could tell but them. He eventually stopped in front of the door he was looking for. He softly knocked and he heard a muffled ‘come in.’ He opened the door to his mom’s room where she was sitting in bed, reading glasses on her nose, looking over the blueprints she’d drawn. She was an architect.

“Mom?”

“Yes?”

“Can I talk to you about something?”

Cover photos by @BIGHITTED on Twitter

[thewritepages]

The Diary of the Older Collegiate (#TheFreshman Series) (1)

Synopsis : Annabelle Green is somewhat in a situation no thirty year woman would want to find herself in : (Un) Happily divorced, childless and with a job worth peanuts and migraine. The downward spiral of her life doesn't seem to end anytime soon until her sister reminds her of her most cherished dream.

College.

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

MAY 3, 2019

3.30 A.M.

----------------------------------------------------

I hate myself.

No, really. I may have called it once or twice in the past due to mild anger or frustration, but this.

This is real.

I mean, I may be the only person who would:

A) Cry over a failed marriage during an interview

B) Scratch that, cry over a failed marriage in midst of the most IMPORTANT interview in my entire career!

C) Go straight to the pub later to drown my sorrows when I know perfectly well what would happen if I do get drunk.

D) Do what would be obvious to a broken-hearted, career destroyed, thirty year old drunk woman: Leave a string of carefully selected profanities on the voice mail of my beloved ex-husband.

E) Waking up several hours later on the side of god-knows-what street staring in horror at the drunken messages I've sent to everyone in my cell's contact list- which would also include my parents.

And to think of it, I managed it all in little less than 12 hours last night.

I think I'll just dig a burrow in my apartment and never come out of it. Wait a minute...

That's it! I'm never leaving my apartment again. It'll be perfect- I'll take up one of those work-at-home jobs they always advertise on the internet, eat ramen noodles for sustenance and stay protected from the world outside throughout my life.

In fact, I'll tip off my doorman to tell my family that I've left to pursue my inner self and I may never come back again. As many years pass by, my family would mourn over my presumed death while I get a plastic surgery done and change my name to something untraceable like Ronal Wallis.

Oh, jolly good! A brilliant idea. Why didn't I ever think of this before?

MAY 3, 2019.

13.30 P.M.

---------------------------------------------------

Err; maybe the whole change-my-identity-and-live-happily plan didn't exactly work.

Don't get me wrong, it didn't totally blow up or anything. My doorman, Steve did his job perfectly, informing my sister that I have indeed joined Deepak Chopra on a journey to find myself in a tiny village in the Himalayan Valleys. He narrated the story in such a sober tone that even I found myself believing him for a moment.

But Steve and I didn't realize that in order to leave the country, I would actually need my passport- The passport which is still in my ex-husband's apartment along with the rest of the stuff I was going to pick up this week.

Unfortunately, my sister was very much aware of this piece of information.

"Anna, it's been two months. You've got to get your shit together. You cannot stay dep-" I gave my sister a warning glance.

Not the D-word. Definitely not the D-word.

"I'm completely fine."I mumbled, looking down at the dregs of my empty coffee mug.

"No, you're not completely fine Annabelle Green. You've stopped calling, stop visiting all of us. Hell, nowadays you don't even get your ass out of the bed. Now, I know what Luc-"she stopped short, taking in my pained expression.

Another word I do not want to hear – Luc- Lucas.

Lucas .Lucas. Lucas.

"I'm sorry," Kat, my sister, bowed her head down low. "I shouldn't have brought him up."

"Yeah, you shouldn't have." My eyes closed from exhaustion. "Kat, why are you here?"

"Well, last night you-"

"I KNOW. It was a mistake. And I think I sent an explanatory text earlier this morning."

"That won't stop me from checking up on you, Anna. I'm bloody worried about you."

My eyes descend down to her enormous belly. She shouldn't worry about me right now- I'm not the one who is due for two bouncing baby boys in less than two months.

Did I just say bouncing? Oh, Lord.

"How're the boys kickin'?" I pat her belly gently, forcing myself to smile.

Her face instantly relaxes. "Oh, they're kickin', all right," she smiles at me, "Didn't give me a wink of sleep last week."

Well, that makes the two of us.

"I can't wait for little John and Paul to meet their ol' Aunt Anna." At least this was true. The arrival of my twin nephews is the only thing keeping me up for the past couple of months.

"Anna, we have talked about this. I'm not naming the kids after The Beatles."

"Why not? I recommend you have another set of twin boys so we'll have the entire boy band in our family."

"And have four crazy boys running around the household? No thanks. Phil and I would probably die of insanity."

Sigh. Phil and Kat. Their story is the closest you'd ever get to a fairytale- childhood sweethearts; they were two young teenagers wildly in love but were painfully separated to colleges at the opposite ends of the country. When it looked like it was truly over between them, they reconciled during the summer after college. It was literally The Notebook all over again, leaving out all the letter writing and the crazy house building. I don't think Phil is capable of fixing a broken lock, let alone build an entire house.

Suddenly, I felt someone holding my hand tightly. I look up to see Kat's eyes filled with tears. "Annie, come home. Mum and Dad miss you. I miss you. We want to stay with you in these difficult times. A few days away from Seattle will do you good. "She gets up. "Mum, Dad and Phil are waiting for us in the car downstairs. I'll help you pack up."

My heart softens, but I raise my eyebrows in sarcasm. "So, they sent you to emotionally blackmail me, right? Well, it's working, Mommy –in-waiting."

She tweaks my nose playfully. "It always does, baby sis."

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A/N :

Hi there, thank you for taking the time to read my new diary styled new ChickLit series:

"The Diaries of an Older Collegiate"(#TheFreshman).

If this chapter ignited an interest for this series, please let me by reblogging or sending me a message. I'm very new to Tumblr writing so it'll really help me calm my nerves :")

Lastly, I'm tagging a few lovely authors here whose works I've been binge reading and they've really inspired me to put out my work out here. Authors, if you like this chapter, I'd be very grateful if you could share it among your network and let me know :)))))

@go1denjeon, @ladyartemesia,@noteguk,@junghelioseok

[downwiththeficness]

A Need So Great Chapter 20

Summary: Eva Moore is assigned to work the last year of her contract with the DEA in Colombia. She just wants to get to the end of her tenure, but she keeps getting drawn further into a string of murders in the city. It isn’t long before she’s forced to face the ghosts of her past.

Word Count:~2,000

Warnings: None

A/N: For the purposes of this story, Carrillo isn’t married--or, if you like, divorced. A/B/O dynamics are prevalent, and they come with their own warning. The overall rating for this story is Explicit, although not every chapter will contain adult themes.

Taglist: @dirtynerdy98 @1zashreena1 @heresathreebee @deliciouslyclassytrash @maybege @kid-from-new-zealand @clydesducktape @revolution-starter @autumnleaves1991-blog @jedi-mando @buckysalefty @anaeve @maouzon

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 8.5, 9, 10, 10.5, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 21

Eva did her very best not to fidget. She’d been in this building before, though not on this particular floor. The unfamiliar location coupled with having never laying eyes on the person she was meeting with made her anxious. And, when she was anxious, she felt herself begin to fidget. She was sitting in the lobby, one high heeled foot bouncing over her crossed knee. The décor was taupe, which she heard could be very soothing. It did not soothe Eva.

A hand landed on her knee, warm and heavy, stopping her movement.  She looked over at Horacio, breathing deeply. His scent—that was what would soothe her.  She wondered if it would be acceptable to lean over in her chair and bury her nose in his neck. He’d probably take it in stride, but she feared the displeased looks from the others in the lobby. She’d had enough judgmental stares to last her a lifetime.  There was no need to add to them.

Eventually, they were called back and led to a sterile office not far down the hall.  The assistant ushered them to their seats and asked if they needed anything, an offer that was turned down.  A few moments later, a man walked in hurriedly.  He was dressed in a gray suit that was a little too big for him, a striped tie flapping with each step.  Middle aged, hair silver enough to tell her that he’d started graying early, though he had a good hairline that was only just now beginning to recede. His belt didn’t match his shoes.

“I apologize for the delay, I was caught in a meeting that went a little long,” he said in that warm Southern drawl that Eva had completely forgotten existed. As he sat and picked up a pen, he continued, “I’m agent Richardson.”

Eva introduced herself and Horacio, smiling as congenially as she could. A firm grasp of her body kept her from bouncing her leg, but she did stutter a little. It had been a long time since she’d felt so utterly exposed.

“Agent Peña said that you’ve got evidence that could helpful in my investigation?”

Eva gave a stilted nod, scratching at the skin above her brow, “I do.”

Hands turning up in question, he prompted, “And?”

She hesitated. Everything that had been ingrained in her from an early age rebelled against talking with a federal agent, no matter how long she’d been working with them.

He noted her reluctance, “You’ve signed the immunity agreement. Anything you say here can’t be held against you, as long as you cooperate.”

Eva looked away, swallowing back the fear of going back to prison. She’d talked with Horacio about it on the flight over. He’d listened intently to her distrust of the government, had held her hand when she started to cry. And then, when her tears were dry, he assured her that, if push came to shove, he’d smuggle her out of the country. The contingency plan was already mostly formed. They’d packed lightly, and he had a set of forged passports sewn into his carry on.

“Ardent Pharmaceuticals,” she began. “I created their tax system, I initiated all their LLC licenses as of fifteen years ago. They have holdings in at least three off shore accounts, I can provide you with those account numbers and with the banks they’re associated with.”

Agent Richardson’s face was very still, Eva wasn’t sure that he was even breathing. After a moment, he said, “You’re confident you can get me that information.”

Eva licked her lips, pausing only a moment, “Yes. I can do that.”

He blinked, rolling the pen between his fingers, “Alright.  Let’s get started.”

When they were walking out of the building, Eva’s heels clicking on the pavement, Horacio took her hand. Their hotel was maybe a few blocks away and the weather was pleasant for the time of year. A cool breeze rustled her hair, the smell of street food coming along with it. This was nice. Really nice.

She felt a kind of heavy relief flow out of her body, the muscles of her neck and shoulders loosening with every step. It might come back and bite her in the ass, but she’d done the right thing.  She knew it, deep down.

Horacio transferred her hand to the other side, his now free arm wrapping around her middle.  Their stride slowed a little. Eva didn’t mind at all.

“I love this skirt, you know?” he murmured, the pads of his fingers running along the waistband.

She remembered him telling her how much he loved this skirt the first night they’d slept together. Dreams, he’d said.  Eva smiled, leaning into him.

“I do know,” she replied easily, not even bothering to hide the affection in her gaze.

He kissed her temple, leading her through the doors of the hotel. The air conditioning blew at her, a sharp contrast to the soft wind outside. She shivered despite Horacio’s warmth around her. He noticed, the arm at her waist rising up to encircle her shoulders. She touched his fingers briefly while they waited for the elevator.

“I’m proud of you.”

She looked up at him, “Why?”

He shrugged, “It wasn’t easy for you to go through all of that. We were in there for three hours, Eva. You dredged up every detail of your work to hide your in laws’ criminal activity like it was… nothing.”

Lips parting, she felt her brows come together, “Because it was nothing.”

The doors to the elevator opened and he ushered her inside. Tapping the button to their floor, he shot her a look that said he expected a further explanation. Eva chuckled, leaning back against the railing.

“This year has been...fantastic,” she started, eyes on the dusty ceiling of the carriage. “I never could have thought that I’d end up here, with you.”

A ding sounded and Eva walked ahead of Horacio, pulling him willingly along by the hand, “All those things I talked about, I’ve spent years working through them. I still think about it, yeah, and I still have to work on it. But, what that was in there? That was simple math. I need them to be so tied up legally that they don’t have the capital to pay another hitman. And, I needed to get a little vengeance—more vengeance—than I already had.”

Horacio keyed into their room, tossing the key onto the table near the door.  Eva followed him, sitting on the bed to remove her shoes. Though they were comfortable, a few blocks’ walk had earned her some relief. She rubbed at the arch of her foot with her thumb.

Sitting next to her, he took her hand again, gazing carefully at her expression, “Its not your job to take down their entire enterprise.”

The steadiness of his gaze, the sincerity of his expression, was amusing. He had already made her out to be a little bit of a martyr, which was pretty much the opposite of what was happening.

Eva rolled her eyes, “I have no aspirations of that. I just want to make a little trouble.”

More than a little trouble.  She wanted to breakdown their ability to make moves the way they had been doing for so long.  She wanted them utterly impotent for the foreseeable future.

His smile reached his eyes, the corners crinkling, “I think you’ve achieved that.”

Not yet, she hadn’t.  There was still the matter of the fallout and Eva did not trust in the effectiveness of the American government. She would have to watch from the sidelines as they worked—or, didn’t work. Either way. Eva very much wanted it to work.

“I’ll admit that it would be nice to see Myra in one of those prison jumpsuits.”

Thumb rubbing at her palm, Horacio seemed to be trying to picture it, “When it happens, I’ll see if I can get someone to take a picture, for posterity’s sake.”

He sat another moment longer, and Eva could tell that he had something to say and was trying to find the words.  She lifted a brow, in silent invitation.

Pulling his lips between his teeth, he was quiet another moment before his hand tightened on hers, “I put in my resignation.”

Shocked, Eva could only say, “When?”

“Before we left.”

“Why?”

He blinked, head cocking to the side, “Because you were right. Because I’ll be dead very soon if I keep on doing this.”

It took about thirty seconds for Eva to get her mind about what he’d just said. In those thirty seconds, she made a few decisions, and maybe fell in love just a little bit more. They would have to take a detour before they got to the airport.

“What are you going to do next?”

His work was his entire life, it consumed almost every waking minute.  The man probably made plans to arrest dealers in his sleep.

He shrugged, “I’ve got some loose ends I need to tie up, and then I thought we could make the decision together.”

Her jaw dropped a bit.  He wanted to make plans. Together. He wanted to make plans—plans for the future—with her. Plans they could enact. Plans that didn’t involve looking over their shoulder for the rest of their lives.  

Eva leaned over and kissed him, sniffing back the tears that threatened.  Really, she hadn’t cried this much since the first year of her marriage. Happy tears, though, were always welcome.

In the cab the next day, Eva prompted the driver to pull off the highway a few exits early. When Horacio asked what they were doing, she simply smiled and patted his arm. The neighborhood she directed the driver to was...an acquired taste. The building that they stopped in front of was decrepit, nearly falling apart on its foundation. The place had once been the office of the mausoleum next door, but had fallen into disrepair when another office had been built on the other side. She was surprised the roof hadn’t completely caved in.

“Is this...safe?” he asked, eyes looking over the building skeptically.

Eva smiled again, unbearably amused at his choice of words, “Safe is one way to put it.”

She walked ahead of him, moving through the first floor to the back room. It was small, and part of the floorboards were missing.  She had to hop from joist to joist to get to the cold air return vent. The years had taken a toll on the bones of the place, leaving the hinges off center. It took several grunting yanks to get the cover free so that she could reach into the vent and pull the bag free.  

Covered in dust, but still whole, the black fabric was thin in some places from use.  She’d had the thing since middle school, her name embroidered on one side. Evangeline, written in white thread that had turned yellow over the years. With shaking fingers, she traced the letters. It was the only thing she had from before she was married, everything else given up somewhere along the way. This, she was definitely holding onto.

“What is it?” Horacio asked from the door, his eyes scanning the room, mouth thin.

Eva looked up at him, “My retirement plan.”

Hopping across the joists towards him, she made her way to one of the few stable points in the front room, dropping the bag carefully. On one knee, she opened the zipper, spreading the fabric wide. Inside was every dollar she could skim from the till, about a hundred thousand in total.

Horacio was standing next to her, looking down at the stacks with pride in his eyes, “I knew you were smart.”

Glancing at him from behind her lashes, Eva grinned, “I’m practical.”

He chuckled, “Same thing.”

Zipping the bag back up, Eva swung it over her shoulder, “Needless to say, this will be my carry on.”

He quirked a brow at her, amused, “Is that all you have hidden?”

“Here, at least.”

There was another couple of bags hidden here and there, none with nearly this much in them.  She would have to make plans to touch base in those locations before they finalized their...Eva paused a moment. They had plans, or they would.

She smiled, “This is enough for now, I think.”

He held out his hand to her, “Then, we should go.  The meter’s running.”

[jawritter]

Broken Me...

Ch. 3

Summery: The Dallas Convention couldn't have come at a worse time for Jensen. His world fell apart earlier that morning, but was expected to just act like everything was normal. You and a friend were at the convention for her birthday. Life hasn't been that great for you either, but a forced meeting on stage changes two worlds. Will you be able to put this broken man back together again...

Series Warings: Cheating, shitty marriage, Danneel is a bitch, I unfortunatly have to put that as a warning because some people tend to get turnt up about it if you don’t... Smut, Crying, Suiside Attempt, brief discription of suicide attempt and recovery, depression, hints of self loathing, language. I think that’s it... Suicide Trigger warnings will be placed over each chapter!

Chapter Warnings: Online bulling, language, insecurities, mean girls. I think that’s about it..

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Word Count: 1779

A/N: BINGE READ TIME!! As always all mistakes are mine! Please do not copy my work! Feedback is gold!! Hope you all enjoy this one!!

Want More? Check out my masterlist!!

****MASTERLIST****

Jensen's POV:

"I can't believe I lost it like that man! What the hell!!" Jensen yelled, throwing his hat across the room, watching as it hit the wall with a limp thump before falling to the floor.

He’d never been so pissed off at himself in his life, the way he ran off stage like that, Y/n probably thinks she did something wrong. 

He knew she saw him upset…

He knew she saw him try to hide the fact that I was up there crying like a little bitch... 

Maybe that many shots before he got on stage wasn't such a great idea after all... 

He was just trying to get numb enough to get through this damn concert without feeling anything. That turned out well didn’t it...

"Dude stop!! You're doing a hell of a lot better than I would be doing. I would have left the convention by now, and would be a blubbering mess somewhere. As far as y/n goes. I think she's fine. I saw her taking selfies with some other fans after the concert was over. Now Richard on the other hand, he saw, he's asking questions. I know you're not ready to talk about all this to everyone, but if you're going to stay at the convention. You're going to have to tell the rest of the cast and crew what the hell is going on with you." 

Jensen knew Jared was right, but he couldn’t help the stone face that he gave him as he watched the overly tall man take a swig of his beer. 

Even though Jared has the mental maturity of a ten year old, when stuff is going down he usually is right. 

As far as Jensen was concerned he was nowhere near ready to talk about what happened between Danneel and himself, everything was still so fresh, so raw, hell it had just happened today! 

He knew he couldn’t get into telling people without breaking down, and that was NOT something he was going to do in front of everyone. 

It just isn't going to happen... 

"I know you're right, but I’m not ready to talk about this with everyone, man it all this just happened less than 12 hours ago! I haven't even had time to process it yet. I'll try, and talk to everyone in the morning if people are asking too many questions. I just can't do it tonight. I'm still a little drunk, I'm exhausted. Probably too damn exhausted to sleep, which means I’ll probably drink myself to sleep…. Don’t look at me like that Jared, I just ….need tonight okay......Put Richard and everyone else off till in the morning if they ask you any questions."

Jared fought the urge to shake his head and roll his eyes, but this was Jensen’s battle, not his, and he had to deal with all of this how he saw best. No matter how much Jared didn’t agree with it..

"Okay I can do that. I told Richard tonight that you would probably tell everyone in the morning what was going on anyway, It was the only way he would let it go. They're worried about you man."

Jensen pushed his hands through his already completely messed up hair, and stood there with his eyes closed, trying his damndest to get a hold of himself. He was tired of crying about this already, and had just happened today, hell it’s not like they were together every day of their marriage, he was practically single anyway… They never even fucking saw each other.. Why did this bother him so much?  

"Ugh Jen?" Jared said, sounding almost like a little kid afraid to tell their parents something bad.... 

"What?" 

White hot fear licked at Jensen right up his backbone, it was never good in this industry for someone to use that tone while looking at social media... 

"Uh, looks like the video of you and y/n tonight has gone almost viral." 

Video of him singing at cons did that all the time so it was no surprise to him that one of him signing with a fan had gotten a lot of attention. So Jensen knew that was just the warm up for the let down, and braced himself…

"Okay, So." 

"Well Danneel saw it and, well......" 

Jared handed Jensen the phone, and what he saw there made him nauseous, and like he’d been shot in the chest with a 12 gage full of buckshot all at once….

“That bitch..”

............................................................

Your POV:

Walking back through the door of your hotel room you fall face first on the bed. 

Exhaustion was a very real thing, but you still had a lot of adrenaline pumping through you, way too much to sleep right now. Your mind racing a thousand miles a second. Analyzing everything that had happened tonight almost to a fault. 

Did I dream that or did it really happen? 

What's going on with Jensen? 

Why was he so upset? 

Were Richard and I the only ones that noticed? 

Jared obviously saw? 

Every time you think about it  your skin would tingle where Jensen had touched you. Hell by the time the two of you hand ended the song he was seriously so close for just a moment you thought he was going to kiss you. 

Thank God he didn't... 

Cause you probably would have passed out in his arms... 

Which probably wouldn't have been a bad thing, if you were alone, and not on a stage in front of hundreds of people with cameras and smartphones. 

Not cool...

With that thought you picked up your phone, and saw literally hundreds of twitter, facebook, and Instagram notifications on your phone. 

Your eyes bulging out of your head as you scrolled through twitter, the video of Jensen and yourself had gone almost viral. 

Your head started spinning and you honestly felt like you were going to throw up. Everyone seemed to like it, that wasn't the thing. The SPN fandom was seriously awesome that way, and for the most part everyone supported each other in one way or another... 

It was the post from Danneel that shook you from your head to your toes... 

"Y/f/n!! Get your ass over here!!" You yelled toward the bathroom where she was brushing her teeth. The room was spinning slightly as you read the tweet over and over again, as if you could make it disappear from the world wide web by sheer willpower...

"What?" She yelled back, running toward the bed, a look of concern on her face. 

She knew your tone had changed from joking in the elevator to almost sheer panic. 

"What is it?" She asked, taking the phone out of your hand. 

"Dang...Poor Jensen!!" She said, staring stocked at the phone. She was staring at the phone in slack jaw shock probably like the rest of the fandom at the moment.. You knew this was just the calm before the storm though, and you were about to be under fire form some of the more hardcore fans in the fandom...

"Well he was having a harder time than what it looks like on the video." You said, she looked at you completely lost. Apparently the audience didn't catch it. A moment ago you would have been relieved, now though you wished they would have just seen him.. 

Then man was a damn good actor...   

"That part in the video that looks like he's kissing my neck….. He wasn't. He had started to cry, and was wiping his face." You mummer, guilt rocking you to your core for agreeing to sing that song with him now that you knew what was going on with him... 

"Bullshit!" She yelled. "Why didn't you tell me he was that upset!" 

“I thought it wasn't any of our business! What was going on with him was obviously not intended to be a public thing. So I kept my mouth shut out of respect." You shot back. 

Looking down at the tweet you still couldn’t believe what you were seeing was really happening..

The tweet was a repost of the video of Jensen and yourself singing. That wasn’t the problem. It was the comment above that  made you nauseous. 

Well since Jensen seems to have ALREADY moved on to basically screwing fans on a live stage!! Looks like I OWE my fans the explanation! Jensen and I are getting a DIVORCE!!! WE ARE NO LONGER TOGETHER!!  I don't know who this girl is, but baby girl RUN!! I PROMISE YOU DON'T WANT THAT!!!

---------------------------------------

A few hours later you found yourself still awake and staring at the ceiling. Sleep wasn’t going to come easy tonight no matter how you sliced it.. 

You couldn’t believe she did that.. 

She doesn't even know you!!! 

Some fans jumped to your immediate defense, telling her to go screw herself, and that didn’t happen the way the video was making it look, that it was a lot more innocent in person. 

Then there were some ‘Jensen always deserved better than you anyways’. 

That It was just a performance... Meaning nothing and she needed to get over her high and mighty act... 

Jensen was a sweetheart. He was probably totally heartbroken, and she was a bitch... 

Then there were some that were attacking you... 

"She's just a whore. He'll come crawling back." 

"He's a jackass you deserve better." 

"She wont even last with him a week." 

"She's just a side bitch."

 "She's ugly, he downgraded." 

"OMG I didn't know Jensen was into fat girls!"

They cut deeper than a stranger's opinion of you probably should have. Especially that last one. You weren't fat by any means, but you also weren't hide stretched over the bones. 

You had curves. 

Your stomach wasn't perfectly fat. 

Your thighs touched together when you walked. 

You didn't have a model body, but hell Marline Monroe was fatter than you are!! 

You and Jensen we're NOT together in any sense of the word, and by no means was he practically “Screwing you” on stage tonight..

A slight knock on the door disturbed your thoughts, and you looked over to y/f/n. 

She was still knocked out. 

So you quickly wiped away the tears that had fallen down your face, dragging yourself out of bed. You got up and looked through the peephole in the door, but all you could see was a white t-shirt. 

You unlock the door, and peck through the crack to see who was standing there at this hour in the night, and who you saw nearly knocked you on your ass for the second time tonight..

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Tag List: @screechingartisancashbailiff​ @thecreatiivecorner​  @aflamboyanceofgays @deanwanddamons​​ @imabitch4jensen​​ @rvgrsbrns​​ @bi-danvers0​​ @onethirstyunicorn​​ @i-love-superhero​​ @akshi8278​ @alanegaming @magssteenkamp​ @lemondropirwin​ @squirrelnotsam​ @hobby27​ @spnbaby-67​ @mrsjenniferwinchester​ @defenderrosetyler​ 

Binge Tag: @sarahbaker2010​

[finnishcrimestory]

The murder in Ulvila

On 1st of December 2006 at 2:43 am public-safety answering point got a call from Anneli Orvokki Auer (b. 19th of March 1965) who started the call by shouting “here is someone, a killer, come quickly!”. Auer told that a strange man had came inside the house and started to stab her husband, 51 year old Jukka S. Lahti (b. 1955). Auer also told that she had been wounded as well. Auer and Lahti had four children who were 2, 4, 7 and 9 years old at the time of the murder. At least two of the eldest children woke up during the happening. The emergency call lasted for 4 minutes, from where Auer was absent for 59 minutes. The first officers arrived at their house about 3 minutes after the call. They found bloody Lahti who was laying on the bedroom floor. Soon after paramedics arrived who pronounced Lahti dead.

The murder according to Auer

Lahti came home from a work trip around 11 pm and Auer and he went to bed at 12 am. At 2:40 am they woke up to ruckus, when a strange man broke the bedroom window. According to Auer the window breaking took about one minute. The room was dark when the man jumped in through the window and attacked Lahti. Lahti grabbed two firewood with what he tried to protect himself. 

When Auer tried to help Lahti, the stranger dressed in a black hoodie and possibly a balaclava, stroke her in the chest with a knife. Auer told the stranger was about 180 cm tall. She also told that she understood the stranger was a murderer so she fled. Auer opened the front door and shouted the children to leave the house, but they did not hear her. After this she called the emergency number with a landline located in the kitchen. 

The eldest child had woken up because of the noises. Auer asked her to come to the phone to wait in the line while she goes to help Lahti. When she arrived back to the bedroom, the stranger attacked her twice which forced her to fled the room again. When Auer came back to the phone she had been absent for 59 seconds. When the eldest child looked to the bedroom she saw a stranger dressed in dark clothing exiting the window, and noticed her bloody father laying on the floor.

The murder according to the prosecutor

When Lahti came back home from the work trip around 11 pm, an argument broke between Auer and Lahti. According to the prosecutor their values and morals differed a lot and they had been considering a divorce. The argument escalated and they started to throw objects and using firewood and knives as weapons. With a knife Lahti hit Auer on her side. When Auer got the knife for herself she stroke Lahti who lost his consciousness. Auer thought she had killed him.

Auer started to stage the scene so that it seemed like the murder was done by an outsider. According to the prosecutor Auer for example broke the bedroom window and made bloody footprints with shoes belonging to Lahti. Auer called the public-safety answering point, but while she was on the phone Lahti regained his consciousness and started to shout. Auer asked the eldest child to come to the phone while she went back to the bedroom to strike Lahti twice on the head. Lahti died immediately. Alternative theory according to prosecutors is that Lahti died before Auer even made the call, and the noises heard in the background came from a record Auer had made earlier. 

When Auer came back to the phone, the eldest child looked at the bedroom and thought she saw an outsider fleeing. According to the prosecutor Auer hid the murder weapon and the clothes she had been wearing during the murder so well, that the police officers haven’t been able to find them.

The investigation

The first officers arrived at the scene 9 minutes after the call started. Lahti was laying lifelessly on the floor that had blood and shards of glass on it. Beside him they found a bloody Fiskars -knife and a bloody firewood. The killing however was done with a heavy, blunt object that has never been found.

At the bloody bed in the room was another firewood, and from there the officers found DNA belonging to Lahti and some other unknown person. Officers also found a black glove from the bed. On the floor and outside on the terrace was bloody footprints and on the window frame bloody prints made with the glove. According to Matti Mäkinen, the crime scene investigator, the window most definitely was broken from the outside. Years after, the police in Pori claimed that the window was broken from the inside. The shards of glass were inside as well as outside on the terrace.

The investigators were able to find many brown synthetic fibers from the crime scene, but they were unable to find out from where they came from. The fibers were also found from the window frame, from the terrace and from Lahti. From the red shirt Auer was wearing they did not find any.

Police dogs arrived at the scene about 1 hour 30 minutes after the murder to search for odour trace of the murderer. From the grounds it was impossible to find any because many officers had been going in and out to the house. The dog found a trace from the neighbours yard but the investigators were unable to tell who had been walking there. The dog also didn’t find any connection between Auer and the alleged knife that had been used in the murder.

2006-2008

At first the investigators thought the attack was a personal vengeance because of Lahti’s work. Lahti worked as a manager in a copper factory in Luvata, who recently had fired 400 employees. The murder itself and the way the murderer acted, pointed to a carefully planned attack. The police profiled the murderer being psychopathic. Before the murder Lahti had told that he had gotten threats, but he did not individualize them at all.

Inspector Juha Joutsenlahti asked help from the public in finding a red Volvo passenger car. It had been seen moving around the neighbourhood during the night of the murder, and a week before that. The police also told that noises made by an outsider were in the emergency call recording and that they had the DNA of the killer (the one they found from the bed). The police carried out the largest DNA sample gathering in Finland. They took over 700 samples from people, but did not have a break through in the case. It wasn’t until 2013 when it was revealed that the unknown DNA police had, belonged to their own investigator.

The police arrested many suspects, but the arrests did not lead anywhere. In July 2007 actor Kai Tanner was arrested for some reason. He remained in custody for 7 days, until Joutsenlahti ordered him to be released immediately. Tanner applied for compensation from the government and was paid 11 000 euros. 

Auer as a suspect 2009-2010

In the summer of 2008 Auer was considered to be the main suspect. The police used undercover tacticts, listened to phones and also listened the home of Auer. The undercover inspections started in April 2009 when Auer met Seppo Mäkelä. He met Auer’s children and visited her in her home. The undercover investigation lasted for months and the reason behind this was to find clues about Auer’s personality and the night of the murder. It wasn’t until the trial when Auer got to know that Mäkelä was actually an undercover police officer. She demanded to get all the information they had gathered from her. The National Bureau of Investigation (Finnish: Keskusrikospoliisi, KRP) denied her demand, because according to them the undercover investigation didn’t reveal any clues supporting the possibility that Auer was the perpetrator. In the end Auer managed to get all the information.

Auer was arrested on 28th of September 2009 for the murder of Lahti. Two days later Kuusiranta announced that Auer had confessed to the murder. Later Auer denied the confession, because according to her the confession was only a speculation of everything that could’ve happened, if she was the perpetrator. 

Auer herself was confused how the police even could suspect her, because during the murder she was on the phone, so she would’ve needed to stage the noises Lahti made during the call. The most essential proof was the recording of the emergency call. The police couldn’t find any noises belonging to a stranger from it. The KRP’s sound investigator Tuija Niemi said that on the recording can be heard a two syllable word Auer said: (u)-o-l-e (Finnish: kuole = die).

2011-2012

The children of Auer and Lahti had been taken in custody, and Auer’s brother had been their foster parent. He contacted the police in 2011 because according to him the two eldest children had told more things about the night of the murder and other things. He had recorded the things they had told. The children had told that Auer had been practicing Satan worshipping rituals, where dozens of animals had been killed. The second eldest child had told that Auer had been practicing the murdering of Lahti and that she had built a wooden shield that would’ve protected her clothes from blood splatter. 

The second eldest child also told hearing everything of the murder to their room through a door. They had heard for example how a knife was picked up from a table and the pressing of the buttons of a record player. According to the child the murder was done before the emergency call and the noises heard during the call came from the record player. The sound investigator of KRP also agreed that the murder had been done before the call. In 2012 FBI investigated the recording and tried to find if it included manipulated parts, for example pre-recorded portions. FBI however didn’t find anything. They also told that they are unable to tell the amount of footsteps or the amount of people present in the house from the recording. The eldest child denied the accusations of the second eldest child and claimed that the perpetrator was outsider.

The first trial 

The trial started on 14th of July 2010 where Auer was accused on murdering Lahti. According to the prosecutors there were no outsiders present during the murder, and that Auer did kill Lahti at the end of an argument and after that staged the crime scene. The district court sentenced Auer to life in prison for the murder on 12th of November 2010. Before the sentence there was a mental evaluation done to Auer that stated that Auer was sane during the murder.

Auer complained about the sentence to court of appeals in Vaasa and on 1st of July 2011 the court of appeals dismissed the murder charge. They explained that Auer’s innocence was defended by the things she herself and the eldest child told about the outsider, the bloody footprints and the brown fibers found from the crime scene. Additionally the police were unable to find the other murder weapon. The court saw that it was impossible that Auer could’ve had time between the emergency call and the arrival of the first officers to stage the whole murder scene.

The second trial

The case went to court again on 20th of August 2013. According to the prosecutor additional investigation had revealed clearance on the motive and things before the murder. At the beginning of the trial the prosecutor dropped the claims that the murder would’ve included Satan worship. 

On 12th of December 2012 the district court of Satakunta region sentenced Auer once again to life in prison for the murder of Lahti. Majority of the judges saw that it was impossible that there was a outsider as the perpetrator. According to the court the murder wasn’t planned, but it was exceptionally cruel and crude.

Auer once again complained to the court of appeals and on 19th of February 2015 the court of appeals dismissed the murder charge. They once again saw that the evidence pointing to the outsider and the lack of evidence can’t make innocent people suffer when serious crimes are investigated. The court of appeals didn’t think the things the youngest children had told were believable. Despite the dropping of the murder charge, Auer remained in custody, because there had been new accusations. 

In September 2011 Auer and her new boyfriend were arrested because they were suspected sexual offenders. On 29th of June 2012 the district court of Turku sentenced Auer to 7 years in prison for two aggravated rape and three accounts of child sexual exploitation. Auer’s ex-boyfriend Jens Rurik Kukka (b. 1963) was sentenced to 10 years in prison. The previously mentioned crimes happened between 2007 to 2009. 

Auer and Kukka complained to the court of appeals of Turku and on 27th of June 2013 the court of appeals saw that Auer was also guilty of three aggravated assaults and the sentence was raised with 6 months, making the sentence 7 years and 6 months. Kukka’s 10 year sentence did not change. Auer and Kukka complained to European Court of Human Rights (ECHR), but they did not investigate the complaints. 

Critique

The prosecutors have critiziced the investigation, because according to them it was done poorly. The court of appeals in Vaasa also critiziced the investigation because the house wasn’t investigated properly. 

In August 2012 Auer made an investigation request. According to her she was considered as the main suspect since the year 2009 and because of this investigation ruled out things that could’ve pointed to the direction that she was innocent. In December 2013 prosecutor Tapio Mäkinen concluded that a investigation will not be made since there is no reason to suspect that crime has happened in the police work. 

After

In September 2016 Auer published a book called Memoirs of the murder widow (Murhalesken muistelmat). In the book she tells about her life before the murder and also goes through her and her children’s life through the investigation. The book is the first written document where Auer herself tells everything from her own point of view. 

Honestly, I have to say that it is really sad how this case surrounds Auer herself more than the victim, Lahti. Of course people are very interested about her since she is very controversial person, but we should not forget that a man lost his life. Finns are also divided, there are people who believe she absolutely did it, but also people who think it was someone else. However I think it’s safe to say that the majority of Finns believe Auer definitely is a murderer. This murder remains officially unsolved. 

[theweekinarrowfic]

Completed Arrow Multichapters on AO3, December 20-26, 2020

NOTE: I’m now crossposting to https://theweekinarrowfic.dreamwidth.org. Also, I'm looking for volunteers to test out my fic recommender! Need more Arrow in your life? Why not try one of the multchapter fanfics recently completed by our talented fic writers?

Olicity

Initial Contact by sidhe_faerie (2/2, 21 Dec 2020) - Hacker and Assassin verse

Contac: Hiding: Out by sidhe_faerie (2/2, 21 Dec 2020) - Yahtzee Set 2 Large straight all five connected in one story,

my love had been frozen deep blue (but you painted me golden) by MagusLibera for damnsmoaky (4/4, 22 Dec 2020) - Twenty-five years after Sozin's Comet was used to wipe out the airbenders, the war is making it's way to the Earth Kingdom. After realising that the cause he was fighting for was a lie, Oliver defected from the army to fight against his own people with his team - an earthbender, two former army comrades and a girl from the Southern Water Tribe. But his mission is interrupted when news from the Fire Nation reaches him, forcing him to head home for the first time in five years.; Set during the Hundred Year War from Avatar: The Last Airbender. Knowledge of the show will enhance the story but is not necessary to read it as this is set before the first episode.

all I want for Christmas is a divorce (is you) by thecomebackkids99 (6/6, 24 Dec 2020) - Oliver Queen and Felicity Smoak divorced over a year ago. But just a few days before Christmas, the tabloids dig up a juicy tidbit: the divorce was never finalized. Which causes a few fights, an exasperated friend or two to say something crazy, and an awkward car ride that brings the bitterness, the pain, and the truth to light.; Because Oliver Queen and Felicity Smoak are technically still married.

The Trouble With Tabloids by starrnobella (24/24, 26 Dec 2020) - All that tabloids are good for is to spread rumors.

Other Ships/Characters

As Long as it Takes by mizar24 (Dinah Drake/Earth-2 Laurel, 2/2, 26 Dec 2020) - laurel thinks that if they date, dinah will eventually end up leaving her so dinah's going to prove her wrong - as long as it takes

Dysfunctional Families by KleptoElf (Laurel/Oliver, 3/3, 23 Dec 2020) - Oliver just wants to get away from his life for a few hours. Laurel just wants a distraction from having to spend another Christmas with her dysfunctional family. Maybe they can both get what they want.

Scientific Method by kitkatt0430 (Barry Allen/Oliver, 5/5, 21 Dec 2020) - Barry Allen arrives in Starling City intending to get his foot in the door on a particularly unusual and interesting case. Maybe find out a little more about the Starling City Vigilante if the topic happened to come up.; He did not expect to be saving that Vigilante's life, but the world is a weird place. Barry's known that much for a very long time, after all.

The scientist and the dog by 47652 (Barry Allen/Felicity, 6/6, 22 Dec 2020) - Basically a AU of the scientist where Berry Allen has a service dog.; This Follows the events of the scientist (season two episode eight of arrow)

An Arrow Christmas Carol by Xenia (Laurel/Oliver, 7/7, 24 Dec 2020) - Oliver is trying to make things work with Felicity. Tommy, his parents and Shado think that Felicity isn't right for him. And what better period for some friendly ghost visit?

Crisis on Infinite Earths by IAmMattis (James "Bucky" Barnes/Laurel, 10/10, 26 Dec 2020) - The time has come. Worlds will live, worlds will die and the Universe will never be same. Discontinued. Final chapter and epilogue are now posted.

Byline by Write_To_You (Barry Allen/Caitlin Snow, Oliver listed as character, 11/11, 25 Dec 2020) - “Flash Missing, Vanishes in Crises, by Iris West,” Caitlin repeated. “Thursday, April 25... 2018.” She stumbled a step back, blood draining from her face. “Oh my gosh,” she whispered. “That’s next week.”; OR the third installment in the Flux series, in which Team Flash realizes that Crisis is coming a lot sooner than they ever thought.

Attack on two earths by Stand_with_Ward_and_Queen (Steve Rogers/Caitlin Snow, Sara/Oliver and Thea/Roy among side pairings, 12/12, 21 Dec 2020) - Sequel to 'Torn between two timelines'. Two months after their engagement, Steve and Caitlin's closest friends all gather for their wedding. Unfortunately, ghosts from the past are unwilling to let the happy couple celebrate this moment in peace.

Bird in a Storm by Ray_Writes (Laurel/Oliver, 17/17, 26 Dec 2020) - The confrontation between the Hood and SWAT on the roof of the Winick Building goes differently, altering the course of Laurel's career, relationships and efforts to save her city forever, the shockwaves of such an altered path making themselves felt throughout her family and friends.

The Traveler by Darth_Rainbow_Queen_Of_Coconuts (OFC-centric, Oliver listed as character, 32/32, 25 Dec 2020) - Lucie Aconite ran away from home.; The trained hunter away from past traumas, ran away from dark memories, ran away from a twisted family. She joined the Travelers, an organization that exist outside of any temporal zones and made of people who will never matter. Their purpose? Lend a hand to heroes in need, make sure those are the ones history will remember.; So now, Lucie travels. To very, very, different places. Different universes, different worlds. Along her way, she met Shadowhunters, Demigods, Werewolves, Warlocks, Seelies, Emissaries, Vampires, Passlings, etc. But no matter how far she goes, something will always take her back right where she started...; I own nothing but Lucie and the adventures she will live.; [AU including Shadowhunters, Teen Wolf, The Chronicles of Narnia, TVD, The Originals, Charmed, PJO/HoO/Kane Chronicles, and others. Very freely inspired though.]

Vigilantes' Dawn by Kylia (Laurel/Oliver, 32/32, 20 Dec 2020) - What if Oliver Queen hadn't let his commitment issues sabotage things with Laurel? What if he'd invited Laurel onto the Queen's Gambit, instead of Sara? And what happens in Starling City when, five years later, The Arrow and the Black Canary, together, go after the List and the rest of the City's criminals? And what happens when Detective Sara Lance finds out her sister is one of the two Vigilantes that are bringing on the dawn of a new age?