#normally i work 10 hours back-to-back friday saturday sunday

[octuscle]

Hey Chronivac support! I had set the chronivac to slowly build up my twig of a best friend into a hairy muscle bound beast but I think the delay has gone on too long. Could you help me?

I am very sorry, but somehow things went wrong…. A somewhat unfortunate combination of technical problems and user errors. I suggest I define a scenario at the end of which the desired result should be. And I set the total duration of the transformation to eight days.

First part of the transformation is the retroactive change of your friend's routines. His body will now change in 24 hours as if he had already had the following daily routine for a year longer: two hours to the gym in the morning before university, one hour of running during the lunch break, another two hours to the gym in the evening. And then preparing the next day's meals and packing them in Tupperware. Saturdays are a training break, Sundays first two hours of swimming, then six hours of gym and then another hour of yoga. A life just for sports. A highly disciplined life for studying and for sports.

The second part is changing his genetics. Every day one of his great-grandparents is replaced. Until his father is a Moroccan who immigrated just before he was born. And his mother is an Albanian who has also only been living here for 25 years.

I start the tomorrow morning on Friday at 08:00 am. Sit back and enjoy!

Friday morning. You are both still rookies in the office. But you want to make a career. Getting a job in the research and development department has been a great success. And you both have no desire not to build on that. Accordingly, you are punctually at your workplace at 08:00. Everything is still quite normal. But when you meet for lunch at 12:00, your friend is pretty upset. He thinks that he has forgotten his running clothes. And that he will have to make up for the running session tomorrow. You look at him questioningly. And you notice that he looks fitter somehow. At 4:00 p.m. you get a message. Your friend has also forgotten his training clothes and has therefore already gone home and is then going straight to the gym. Dinner at 20:00 as arranged in your favorite steakhouse. Your friend is on time. However, he is not showered and still in his tracksuit. Had he not shaved this morning. He looks like a three-day beard. The meal is first about the week at the office. And then about the plans for the weekend. Tomorrow we're going to do some shopping. Your friend convinces you to come to the gym on Sunday. When you say goodbye, you realize that your friend only had the 400 gram filet with green salad and alcohol-free beer and water. You drank the wine all by yourself. Slightly drunk, you go home and fall into bed.

On Saturday morning your best friend rings you out of bed. Where you stay. The early bird catches the worm. He would have made up for yesterday's running session by now and would like to start doing some shopping. Damn, it's only 10:00 o'clock. You didn't expect him until 12:00. When you finally meet in the mall, there are already some big shopping bags next to your friend. Nutritional supplements. Protein powder. Sportswear. And he definitely looks changed. Not a gram of fat on his body anymore. But a firm ass and a visibly wider back. Fuck, it seems to work. When you're shopping, your conversations are almost all about sports. You actually start to develop an interest in it as well. And you also buy some new clothes and training shoes. You arrange to go clubbing in the evening. You almost didn't recognize your friend. His black T-shirt is almost painted on his upper body. And he moves on the dance floor as if he had never done anything else. He thinks that functional training pays off here, too. His movement coordination is getting better and better. You shake your head and get yourself a gin and tonic. And bring your friend a water.

When you arrive at the gym at 4 p.m. on Sunday, your friend is already moaning in a sweat on the leg press. "Bro, didn't we say 12:00 for Box Fit?" he says. You reply that anything before 4:00 p.m. would have been a challenge for you after last night. Your friend gives you a Fist Bump. And says that he needs your support with the chest workout. When your friend leaves for yoga at 6:30pm, you are completely screwed. And you wonder why your boyfriend has such hairy forearms…

On Monday morning you both arrive at work at the same time. Your best friend is talking on the phone in a language you can't understand. "My Albanian grandmother in Tirana has birthday today", he answers, reading your thoughts. Who the hell has a birthday, you ask yourself. Your friend walks up the stairs in front of you. Fuck, an ass made of concrete, you think to yourself. The idea of running during lunch break was really super stupid. You can hardly move from yesterday. So your friend has to wait for you all the time. And bridges the waiting time with burpees. And did he just flirt with the young guy at the pull-up bar? Fuck, the only thing that gets hard with you is your dick. When showering at the end of the lunch break, you can no longer cover up. Your boyfriend looks appreciative and gives you a kiss before it goes back to work. Before you go to bed you do a round of pushups and situps.

On Tuesday morning, your boyfriend is already there when you enter the office shortly after 08:00. And tries to persuade you again to come with him to pump in the morning. Getting up at 4:00 a.m. doesn't seem very attractive to you. But you catch yourself imagining how horny it would be to suck the sweat out of your boyfriend's beard. Shit, since when does he have a beard? In any case, you are already looking forward to the shower after the run. After work you go to dinner together in a small Albanian restaurant. Your friend seems to know everyone there. You don't understand a word they say. But the food is delicious. And you promise to come to the training tomorrow night. Your best friend grabs his sports bag, gives you a French kiss and disappears to his next sports session.

When you arrive at the office on Wednesday, the smell almost takes your breath away. Your friend is sitting across from you, grinning. He lost track of time during his workout and didn't have time to shower. Fuck, he can't work here in his sweaty workout clothes. Not because it bothers you. Because you can't get your hard-on under control anymore. It doesn't get better during the lunch break and shower. Not until your buddy in the shower goes down on his knees in front of you and gives you a blowjob. Until the end of the day you can hardly think of anything else but that you will return the favor tonight after the workout.

Hopefully no one will notice that your friend is wearing the same clothes today as yesterday. After the workout you did some cardio in your apartment. Riding on your boyfriend's cut big dark cock was awesome! Just a pity that he has made himself in the middle of the night again out of the way. But damn, he only does what you wanted. And he is no longer the man he was a week ago. His name is Eset now. But that's perfectly natural for everyone. As is the fact that he mostly works with t-shirts or short-sleeved shirts. It would be too bad to hide his biceps. For tonight, Eset has something special planned. After the workout, you'll go to an Arabian hamam. Only horny almost naked men! However, Eset still stands out here. He may not be as hairy as many here. But already one of the big boys.

It was just one night for the two of you. But it feels strange to wake up alone today. Eset is already here again before you. And has put breakfast on your desk. Cottage cheese with protein powder and fruit. He's right, you look like a twig next to him. You have to change that. When he asks if you're going out for steak again tonight, Eset looks at you like you're totally nuts. Lad, it's Friday. First to the mosque, then to sports. Of course, you had totally forgotten that. Okay, then you can work out your arms a bit before Eset comes along. Wait a minute! Mosque? What the hell?

Saturday. Eight days gone. You have a date in the park. Throw a few balls. Meet up with the lads. Eset is already there warming up with some bros. The fellas stand together and talk in Arabic. Until their alpha bro sees you.

Given his roots, Eset is a bit coy about exchanging kisses in public. But he licks the ball and throws it to you. And you lick his spit off.

[yesterdays-xkcd]

Small print: this schedule will eventually drive one stark raving mad.

28-Hour Day [Explained]

Transcript

[A ruler-like timeline diagram that shows the hours in a week. 6 P.M. to 6 A.M. is labelled each day as "Night", however, there are 8-hour long blocks labelled "bed" at different times. Starting with Sunday, it's 10 A.M. to 6 P.M., Monday 2 P.M. to 10 P.M., Tuesday 6 P.M. to 2 A.M., Wednesday-to-Thursday 10 P.M. to 6 A.M., Friday 2 A.M. to 10 A.M., and Saturday 6 A.M. to 2 P.M.]

[Below the timeline, Cueball and a friend are talking.] Cueball: You have trouble sleeping right? Friend: Only when your mom is over.

[Cueball is now pointing to an easel with the chart above.] Cueball: Since your work is flexible- Friend: -Like your mom- Cueball: -You should try the 28-hour day - 20 awake, 8 asleep (or 19/9 if you prefer). Friend: I prefer your mom.

[Cueball moves forward toward his friend, with the chart behind him. He holds both hands, held together, up in front of him.] Cueball: It synchs up with the week - you spend weekdays awake normally, then on weekends you can go out all night. Friend: Just like your mom.

[In a frameless panel, only Cueball is shown from the torso up. He gestures with both arms raised on each side of him.] Cueball: It means four extra hours daily. You can stay up until you're exhausted every day and then spend a full 9 hours asleep each night!

[Back to both again, but without the chart. Cueball leans toward his friend as his friend lifts a hand to his chin.] Friend: But how much time can I spend doing your mom? Cueball: You? I'm guessing three or four minutes, tops. Friend: ...Well played.

[nerdvanacrafts]

Fan Expo Chicago 2024 Recap!

Ta-da! The Fan Expo recap is finally here! Sorry it took so long, but there was a lot to cover. I hope you enjoy!

So, first and foremost, the trip down there was relatively uneventful. Except for some construction and my GPS taking a nap en route to the hotel, I managed to get around just fine. Check-in went very smoothly, and I chilled in the hotel for roughly half an hour (it was a long drive for me, y'all!) before heading over to the con.

Parking at this venue was...a nightmare. On Friday evening (like 4pm), it took me 10 minutes of circling the parking garage in search of a spot before someone finally came to redirect us to overflow parking. Saturday was by far the worst day, which I feel is fairly normal for most conventions, but this felt....excessively underplanned. Not only did it take me 45 minutes to get from my hotel to the venue on Saturday (hotel was a mile away for the record), but it also then took me roughly 10ish minutes to walk across to the other side of the garage to get to the crosswalk for the venue. And it was very hot that day. Like 80s-90s Fahrenheit hot, and humid af. It was like walking through soup. Sunday wasn't nearly as bad. I still had to park in the sticks, but it was the closest of my parking spaces for the weekend.

Now for the actual fun stuff:

The first step of getting inside any location is figuring out where everything is, right? So that's what I did. Once I got my badge and got in, I spent most of Friday orienting myself on the venue's layout. Because it was huge. And not just huge, but also packed almost elbow to elbow with people. There were, quite frankly, too many people in too small a space. Honestly, I was thankful for the water bottle hanging off my wrist because it kept most people at bay. Anyway, the first place I went to was, of course, Artist Alley! Since I’m not artistically gifted, I love seeing what other people can draw and create. I spent most of Friday wandering the artist alley looking at what everyone had to offer. I had to make several loops though because it was so crowded and some booths were really popular, so I had to come back to ones I was interested in.

The most surprising thing I discovered in my wandering was a booth run by an artist I know of! I got to meet the lovely LeonDoodlez, who does amazing work (please go have a look at their socials) and who I know from another artist I help mod for. We had a good chat while I was picking out prints, and I ended up going back later in the weekend to get more from them. They are a lovely human, please go show them some love; they truly deserve it. Here are some of the prints I got from them:

Since there weren’t really any panels of interest to me on Friday, I decided to bump one of my autographs to that day and it was a very good decision. Despite having to wait in line for roughly an hour (I sat on the floor for a good chunk of that), because they had to go do photo ops while we waited, I did get to meet Alan Tudyk and have him sign my Firefly sketchbook. He gave a good hearty chuckle at me telling him that I was going to bring two dinosaurs to say hello but one of them ate them on the ride down, so he was in timeout. (It’s a Firefly reference, for those who don’t understand.) And despite saying I had to keep an eye on those silly dinos, Alan did also say it was a good thing I was, instead, keeping an eye on the road since I was driving by myself. We had a good handshake, I thanked him for being there, and then I went on my merry way. Had to keep the book open for a little bit to let the ink dry, but I pretty much did one more small pass through the exhibitors hall and then headed back to the hotel for the night. (I had to shower both nights because egads…turns out the AC was broken up until Sunday, and even then, it didn’t feel like it was doing any good. But I wasn’t going to meet people smelling like I did.)

Saturday! Saturday, I met up with some Twitch friends! Another pair of lovely humans, ThePhoenixPath and PunkleNix, both variety streamers (please go check them out both here on Kofi and on Twitch!). Phoenix brought her kiddos with her, and this was the first event of this kind they all had been to, so it was a bit overwhelming for them. Once we got inside, I kind of let them wander around and followed behind to both help keep an eye on the kiddos, and to let them experience the chaos. We met some wonderful and amazing cosplayers who took the time to talk through some of their process with the kiddos, one of whom is interested in cosplay themselves, and overall, I think everyone had fun. They did have to leave about halfway through due to overstimulation, which I completely understood (seriously, that shoulder-to-shoulder crowding was worse on Saturday). We hugged and said our goodbyes, and I made a snap decision to get a surprise gift for my sister, for which I stood in line for roughly another hour. But I made some line buddies, had an idle chat here and there, and got what I came for. Then I went up to the main theater floor to have some food and chill for a bit before the cosplay contest.

You probably don’t know this about me, because I don’t post about it much, but I love cosplay. I can only wish I had the time and energy (and money, let’s be real) to put in the work some of these cosplayers do for their outfits. They are stunning and I am in a constant state of awe at seeing just what can be accomplished. While I was having my chill time, the entrants for the cosplay contest started to gather and pretty much all of them were phenomenal. (I really only stopped one because I didn’t realize she was in the contest until I saw everyone else lining up.) Plus, once the line for the previous panel had gone inside, we were allowed to line up for the next one, which was the cosplay contest, so I gathered my things and parked myself in the line. And because I had roughly 45 minutes to wait again, I sat down with most everyone else who came early. I ended up making small talk with the pair in front of me (shoutout to Becca and Rachel, wherever you are!) and they even offered me some of the fudge they had bought. The mystery flavor tasted like candy corn, even though they had said it was supposed to be marshmallow, and I needed something to get the taste out of my mouth! Anyway, they also let me sit with them for the contest and showed me some highlights from the Twilight musical parody from the night before (apparently it was hilarious). I won’t spam you with the photos from the contest, because there’s a lot, but if you’re interested, feel free to DM me and I’ll send you a link.

Another shower and night of sleep, and I was back at it on Sunday. I’d like to say Sunday was by far the chillest day of the con, and I guess in a way, it was, but also…all I did was stand in line for five hours…You may be wondering why.

Well, half of the reason for me taking this trip was to get a very particular gift for my sister. An autograph from one, Neil Newbon, the voice actor of Astarion from Baldur’s Gate 3. That was my entire Sunday, y’all. Again, I made some line buddies, chatted about the wait and how ridiculous the line was (and how it had been like that all weekend), and eventually parked my butt when he went off to do photo ops for an hour. Now, I could’ve done what some of my line buddies did in that hour, which was to ask to have my spot held and go get another autograph, but I didn’t, and in doing so, missed the other one I had planned for. The good news, though, was that I was able to at least get a refund, so I didn’t exactly lose money because they had left by the time I got there. And I made up for it by getting myself an autograph from Neil for having endured the gauntlet, as I’ve now heard it called.

My interaction with Neil was far more lowkey than I had expected, but through no fault of his. As someone who had also been there the entire weekend (and probably got better sleep), I understood his demeanor fully. He looked and sounded as tired as I felt after five hours of standing/sitting in line. He’d also strained his voice from what I heard, so I understood the lack of his usual chaotic enthusiasm. 

That being said, I did get a hearty chuckle when I plopped my little Goostarion down on the table for him and told him that despite needing context from friends, I made him his own little angry goose. (It had a tag around its neck that said “Careful, I bite,” as well as my info as the creator and the pattern designer’s info, but it fell off somewhere while I was in line and I’m still mad about it.) 

He was also kind enough to scribble a Happy Birthday on my sister’s print because I had mentioned it was a birthday gift to her and we’d technically been cut off from quotes and selfies by then. Mostly so they could get through the line faster. He was truly a sweet human even with all his fatigue, and I don’t regret anything about meeting him. I feel like I got to see the most human side of fame and that’s honestly very special, as someone who deals with a lot of mental health issues and doesn’t always want to be perceived but still must promote themselves for work. 

I did, however, learn to come earlier. Like, Friday early.

This trip was an experience and a half, but it was all worth it in the end. I feel like I reclaimed a part of me that went missing years ago, or at least went deep into hiding, and I feel like I have the confidence to be able to try to do it again at the very least. Of course, it would be better to go with friends so I have other, familiar people to nerd out with, but being able to go alone proved that I could do it, and I needed that confidence boost.

I’d say sorry this got so long and rambly, but I’m not sorry. You guys made this possible and I wanted to share the experience with you, most of it anyway. Thanks for making this happen and keep your eyes peeled for some new merch coming soon! It could be...Karlach approved ^_~

[lesbianslovebts]

So we're gonna pretend it's October 9th instead of November 9th for the Auctober prompt of comfort food! I wanted to talk about my special food routine, so!

I work from home Monday to Friday from 1 PM to 10 PM. On Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday, I have vanilla almond granola with vanilla almond milk in a glass for breakfast. Then I rinse out the glass and have some juice. On Thursday, I have to get up an hour earlier than normal to go to therapy. Since there's more time between breakfast and lunch on these days, I have to eat a little bit more to prevent my meds from hurting my stomach. So, I have two slices of toast and juice. For lunch on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday, I have half a piece of garlic flatbread with olive oil, 2 ounces of sharp cheddar cheese, 2 ounces of thin-sliced hard salami, and strawberries, eaten in that order. On Thursday, I have a plain ham and cheese sandwich from Subway. Supper is the meal that varies to keep things lively, but Friday is Chipotle burrito day. Weekends and holidays are a free-for-all.

In addition to eating the same food items, there is a larger routine involved. I have to go grocery shopping on Saturdays because I get too overwhelmed if I leave the house on Sunday before the new work week. I walk the same path in the same store with my noise cancelling headphones and get the same items from the same brands every week. And on Sunday nights at about 10:30 PM, I prepare my lunches for the week in the same way by folding the bread in half, cutting the 8oz brick of cheese into 4 servings, washing the strawberries, and storing them in the fridge the same way in the same spot. When I eat lunch, I heat the bread for 22 seconds in the microwave, pour olive oil in a spoon, and spread it on with the back of the spoon. I eat the bread and then move onto the cheese, slicing it thinly as I eat it. Then I eat one piece of salami at a time, using one hand to fold it in half 3 times, bite off the tip, and then eat the rest of the slice. Then I eat the strawberries. It might seem like these actions would get boring or that it wastes time to follow all these steps, but it is highly efficient.

Several things can go wrong, though. I get really distressed if my Saturday shopping is disrupted by other plans (i.e., mom has the car), if the store is overcrowded, if they're out of the brand I always buy, if the person at the deli slices the salami too thick, if the strawberries mold, if someone else used my cheese knife, etc.

To most allistic people, following a rigid schedule like this would probably be stressful, but to me, it creates a baseline level of calm. If I have control over my meals and know what to expect, there is no anxiety over figuring out what to eat and when. Do I get sick of the food? No, I've had this routine for a couple years, and I still look forward to breakfast and lunch every day. Do I ever crave change? Yes, I choose what I want for supper on a daily basis. This is planned change, not unexpected change. Would I be capable of changing it up? Yes, but it would be unnecessarily anxiety-producing. All in all? I like my routine. 😌

[ledenews]

ThrIVe Wheeling an Ingredient to Miners’ Undefeated Success

No matter how, who, or where you get tackled during an arena football game, the pain is real. That includes, of course, the members of the undefeated Wheeling Miners, the Friendly City’s newest tenant at Wesbanco Arena that finished the regular season with a perfect 8-0 record. The Miners will welcome the New Jersey Bearcats to their home turf this weekend, and the concrete arena floor will be barely padded and the wooden dasher boards are always in play.  “It’s football,” said Miners head coach and general manager Josh Resignalo. “But it’s a different kind of football. In a lot of ways, it’s more physical because of the fields and the rules.” That’s one of several reasons why Resignalo is pleased with the partnership the Miners have developed with the owners of ThrIVe Wheeling, JJessica Barclay and Vanessa Craig. “We engaged in the partnership with ThrIVe because of the facility they have in downtown Wheeling and the needs our athletes need for recovery,” the head coach said. “They play hard, so the cryo tank, the infrared sauna, and the red-light therapy are all important pieces for us and our success. That’s because of the healing that takes place, and our players are very excited about the relationship. ThrIVe in downtown Wheeling is located at 1052 Main Street. “Our guys get 30-minute massages at ThrIVe, too, and those have been a big hit, too, because not every team out there has access to services like these,” he said. “And it helps with our recruiting, too, and that will be very important as our organization moves forward here in Wheeling.” Wheeling has defeated the Bearcats twice during the regulars, including a 42-32 victory in Jersey on April 19 and a 25-20 win at home on May 18. Game time Saturday evening will be 7 p.m., and a victory would advance the Miners to the American Arena League’s championship against either Waco Tornadoes or the Peach State Cats. “We got a lot of rest thanks to our first-round bye, but after this Saturday’s game, we’ll need to get the guys healed up again at ThrIVe,” Resignalo explained. “I can remember when I was young, body recovery after practices and games included a bag of ice and a whirlpool, so we’ve come a long way in a short amount of time. Cryo therapy has been around for a few years but ThrIVe has all of the latest procedures and technology. It’s a very impressive operation. “The city of Wheeling is a terrific place because there are facilities like ThrIVE, and because we’ve gained a lot of loyal fans already, and we know we have to prove ourselves to the community,” he said. “I feel we’ve laid the groundwork to prove we’re the real deal, and now that we’re headed into the postseason, we’re looking to have continued success. Winning. Winning proves a lot.” ThrIVe Wheeling is located at 1052 Main Street and is open Wednesday through Friday from 10 a.m. until 6 p.m., Saturday from 10 a.m. until 4 p.m., and Sunday 12– 4 p.m. For the past 17 years, Resignalo has been involved with arena football in some form and in several cities before coming to Wheeling.  “We’ve really enjoyed working with the players and they’ve been very enthusiastic about their recovery because arena football is a rough and tough game,” Barclay said. “They have taken advantage of the full body and localize cryo therapies, and the NormaTech compression therapies have worked very well with them, too.  “We’ve helped a lot of people with a lot of things since we opened back in 2019, but sports recovery and proactive recovery, I believe, is our niche here in Wheeling. That’s why a lot of local athletes have come to us,” she said. “I’ve read that for every four hours of sports play, it takes an hour of active recovery to get back to normal.” The spa opened only five months before the beginning of the 2020 coronavirus pandemic, and since has been greatly challenged by the $32 million downtown streetscape project. “Vanessa and I are big fans of Wheeling and we like to see the development that’s been taking place. That’s very exciting for us,” Barclay said. “And we love going to the Miners game because they’re a lot of fan and the game is really interesting. It’s football, but it’s a different kind of football. It’s a lot of fun. “We’ve treated people of all ages – from 10 to 70 probably – but when the players come in, it’s an exciting time because of their energy and personalities,” Barclay reported. “We enjoy those days and I know our other clients do, too.” Read the full article

[reckless-blossoms]

The Tooth Extraction Saga

Welcome to my online diary page where I rant and timeline my experience thus far with a tooth extraction gone wrong (and unfortunately, not gone sexual)

To be updated via edits as the saga continues...

Context: My parents were neglectful in a few ways, one of them being dental care. Couple that with never brushing my teeth ever because of depression, and you have an adult with very bad teeth despite very good dental hygiene. I've been slowly working on it. I managed to reverse my gingivitis and I paused the progression of my current cavities as much as I can, but I still a good handful of fillings and root canals or extractions.

The Set Up: One night, while chilling in VC with friends, I was eating a granola bar. I noticed something odd on my tooth, I figure it must be an oat stuck to my tooth. I prod it with my tongue, nothing. I reach a finger there and pull on it. Crack. Spits piece of tooth out. Next morning, call dentist, schedule appointment, get x-rayed, get scheduled for an extraction because the tooth is broken too far down and is unsalvageable. Despite how it looks, no pain aside from increased sensitivity.

Wednesday, April 17th: Go in for extraction. The tooth is cracked strangely so it takes more working and fighting than my past extractions. They removed one piece then had to go back in to fetch another because it broke further down. Go home, chill, bleeding stops at normal time, whatevs.

Thursday: All still going fine. I go on a gentle walk to sit outside and read, and yet I am heckled by a few different guys. The second of them really scared and upset me by yelling at me out their car, and I, uh, maybe spat at them for it.

10 minutes later I spit out some soft foul-smelling orange substance. I don't feel instant horrible pain so I kind of just figure, kind of just hope, that it was old food that was stuck in there.

Friday: I am fine all day, I look in the mirror and it appears I have a nice red blood clot in the area.

But later in the afternoon, after my dentist office is closed of course, I decide to shine a light in there and it's... Gray. The kinda crumbly gray look of dry socket. But I am not in severe, excruciating pain you see. I go to bed anxious. I look up hours of my dentist and local emergency dentists in case I need pain medicine.

Saturday: Still anxious as shit, I call off work. I have a terrible taste in my mouth and don't really know what to do but lay in bed and recover. The pain isn't terrible but there's a dull ache, a sort of itchiness in there. I need ibuprofen to fall asleep. My bf informs me that I worried him because I smell sick, in fact like a rotting corpse.

Sunday: I wake up feeling better and after showering, putting on totally fresh clothes, using deodorant, cologne, and then wearing my usual N95 mask and drinking water throughout the day I feel like I can go out and make some money and I do just that. I decide I will not look at my mouth anymore and just leave it to the dentist.

Monday: Call dentist. They say it could be a dry socket, they say to call my surgeon. I call him, he re-assures me that dry socket is so painful there usually isn't such a thing as wondering if you have it, you just know, because of the pain. But, he tells me to call the main office back and schedule a meeting for Thursday. First night that I don't need ibuprofen to sleep. Have nightmare about that tooth still being there, and it shattering into pieces and spitting all the pieces out.

Tuesday: Woke up feeling way better, and allegedly no longer smell like a decaying carcass. Check my mouth, the gray crumbly gunk is still there but much higher than it was so I think that means I'm healing since sockets heal from the bottom up.

I go out and do some things, then come home and do some housework. Kicking up dust makes me sneeze instantly and I rush to the bathroom to see if I've given myself dry socket for real this time, and I think I'm fine, but... I'm pretty fuckin' sure I see a piece of tooth poking out now. I figure it's working itself out so I should just let my body do it's thing, or wait for the dentist to pop it out during my appointment Thursday.

I looked at it again and I swear the gray stuff is going away? There is DEFINITELY a tooth chip in there though I know for a fact. I took a picture to show my dentist to prove I'm not insane.

Wednesday: Tooth chip appears to have moved? Unless it's not a tooth chip? Not much to say today, was out and about then when I was home I was doing housework.

When brushing my teeth before bed, I noticed something in the one molar behind my socket. Some red thing, kinda figured it was some piece of food. I gently brush at it and suddenly a quarter of my mouth is flooded with red liquid, but... It doesn't hurt, and doesn't even taste metallic? I am no longer asking questions about anything with this tooth anymore.

Thursday: Went to dentist. Told there's nothing problematic. I'm just recovering slowly, and also, that tooth was abscessed, so shit's gonna be weird and gross in there. Chip will work its way out on its own.

Many days later: The scab in my mouth is gone, but the hole is still healing. I am permanently paranoid about my teeth breaking again, or the tooth next to the socket falling out, but alas, I will simply pick up more shifts to fund this.

Many more days later: Swapped to a new dentist. Got fillings in the tooth I thought was loose and we r workin on doing more fixing...

[survey--s]

685.

1 - Who was the last person to give you a gift? What was the reason for it?  Suzanne got me some chocolates as a "thank you" for looking after Charlie for a few days while they went away.

2 - Are you a good cook? If so, who taught you? What’s your favourite thing to cook?  I can cook but I don't really enjoy it. My dad actually taught me most of the basics and then I was self-taught for the rest.

3 - When was the last time something in your house broke? Did you manage to fix it or did you need to buy a replacement? The xBox stopped working a while ago but when I tried it yesterday it seemed to be okay. I think it must have just overheated or crashed or something.

4 - Is any part of your body hurting right now? What caused that pain?  Yeah, my left hip which always plays up when it's cold and snowy.

5 - Do you have anything exciting planned for the upcoming weekend?  It's Sunday now and we have a snow day. Next weekend I have work on Saturday and then it's my birthday on Sunday so we're going out for lunch.

6 - If you could spend two weeks in any city in the world, which city would you pick and why?  Tokyo, just because it's somewhere I've always wanted to go and it looks like one of those places where you'll never get bored.

7 - When was the last time you tripped or fell in public? if there was nobody around to see you, did you still feel embarrassed? I skidded on the snow this morning but it was only in the garden. I wasn't embarrassed, just glad I didn't get hurt tbh, haha.

8 - The last time you made a sandwich, what did you put in there? I have no idea, I never really eat sandwiches. I had peanut butter on toast this morning though!

9 - How many hours sleep did you get last night? Was that enough for you or could you have slept for longer? About seven? I woke up wide awake at 6am for no apparent reason.

10 - What’s your favourite time of day? What’s your favourite thing to do at that time? On workdays I love my afternoons. I finish work around 1.30pm, come home, feed the animals, shower and then I have the rest of the day to do what I want. Normally I watch TV, mess around online, play games or sometimes see friends. On weekends I love lazy mornings.

11 - Where did you go the last time you left your house?  I haven't been out properly since Friday but I've been out in the garden to play with the dog in the snow a lot.

12 - Are you tired right now? Will you be going to bed anytime soon?  I'm kinda tired but I won't be going back to sleep. It's nearly lunchtime so I'll feed the animals after this and then probably make myself something to eat.

13 - How many times a week do you get takeaway coffee, if you get it at all?  On average, none lol. It's just too expensive for me to justify on a regular basis. I buy the syrups and stuff and make it at home.

14 - What radio station do you listen to the most?  Radio One.

15 - If you eat steak, how do you like it cooked? What sauces or sides do you like to go with it?  Rare, and I like it with mushrooms, fries and onion rings. In terms of sauce, I like blue cheese.

16 - Do you prefer sweet or savoury pancakes? What toppings do you have on them?  Sweet. Normally I have blueberries, honey and bananas.

17 - Are you someone who cracks their joints a lot? Which one(s) do you tend to crack and click the most?  My joints crack whenever I move, haha. Normally my toes, knees, back and neck make the most noise.

18 - Have you ever taken medication or tablets to help you sleep? is this something you do on a regular basis? Yeah, both prescription and herbal ones, but I haven't needed either for a good six months now.

19 - For you, what’s the worst thing about getting up in the morning? What about the worst thing about going to bed tonight?  I just hate actually getting out of bed, especially in winter. I'm fine going to bed at night.

20 - Do you prefer regular or diet soft drinks?  Diet. I find the regular ones too sweet.

21 - What do you tend to wear if you’re just hanging about the house for the day?  Leggings and a hoody at this time of year. In summer normally shorts and a t-shirt.

22 - When was the last time you dyed your hair? Did you do it yourself or get it done at a hairdresser?  A couple of years ago. I always do it myself.

23 - Does having to wear a mask stop you doing things? Is this because you struggle wearing one or you just don’t like it?  I couldn't wear one because of sensory issues. I have autism and having something covering my mouth and nose makes me nauseous and panicky. I could cope for a few minutes but nothing longer.

24 - Have you ever witnessed a car accident? Or have you perhaps been involved in one yourself? Were you at fault? I've never witnessed one but been involved in a couple - neither were my fault, though.

25 - When was the last time you baked a cake? What cake was it? Years ago. I don't really like baking. I did make bread during lockdown though using one of those kits.

26 - Do you like wearing bows or accessories in your hair?  Nope.

27 - How many books do you read in a year? Do you enjoy reading or do you have to really force yourself to sit down and read?  I haven't read a book in ages. I never read anymore, I just don't seem to enjoy it in the way I used to.

28 - If you have pets, where did they come from? A breeder, a rescue or maybe a friend who bred their pet? Purrlock is a rescue, Simba and Toby are farm kittens and Archie is from a breeder.

29 - Do you make your bed every morning when you get up?  Yeah, every single day. It feels wrong not to make the bed.

30 - When was the last time you got takeaway food? Was it good? Last week, and yeah, it was pretty good.

[plausibleorchestrations]

I am the only person who is insanely lucky enough to have parents who, upon hearing that I vaguely want to go somewhere, will generally immediately say "oh, that sounds fun, let's go!" and then pay for my trip.

On Thursday night or Friday, I mentioned to my parents that if all goes well with work, I might try to move to Portugal. "Sure, I've never been there, but I've been to Spain and Italy, so it shouldn't be that unfamiliar." "Would you go to Porto or Lisbon?" "..... ???" is approximately how that conversation went.

On Saturday, I mentioned to my mother that I might try to send in my passport so that I'd have it back in 3 months if I needed to send it in for a visa. "Unless we go to Portugal on Friday!" she said. "Haha," I responded, like a normal person. "No, seriously," she said, "we've been thinking of going there." "...Sure," I responded, by now completely baffled.

(My mother does have a history of planning trips like that. A year ago, we went to Iceland for a week. We planned the entire trip in about 5 days. I, unfortunately, take after her. This summer, I went to Vancouver having booked my flight less than 24 hours before it left and with absolutely no hotel reservations. So it goes, sometimes.)

Anyway, it is now Sunday and my mom has a tentative plan for the 4 or 5 cities we're going to stay in and has booked flights. It's absurd. I'm incredibly excited, because obviously, and also very nervous, because I'm supposed to do work from 1-10 every weekday and that's gonna be a pretty tough sell for me - I'm pretty bad at work even on a good, well-rested day. But my poor, lovely, incredible mom is stuck planning the whole trip, and I just get to be lovingly dragged along like the world's most plan-complicating piece of luggage in existence.

[spaceageloveblog]

Life's too short.

Woke up early for my Sunday morning run, 5:30a. First long run of my 12-week half-marathon training program. The next 10 Sundays will all be longer.

Make coffee, use the bathroom, weigh-in. Somehow I'm 5 lb. heavier than I was on the first of the month. Darn. I have been overdoing it on the cheese. On the other hand, on that particular day I weighed in pre-lunch after sweating in the sun. So maybe it's not that bad.

Do Wordle, do Connections, coffee is ready. Lounge on the family room sectional, sipping coffee. Start to go through the rest of my normal routines. Already made my running playlist last night, a few songs from my favorite The xx album, then the entire Romy album which I listened to for the first time on Friday, then "Gosh" by Jamie xx. 59 minutes, perfect length for a 6-mile training run.

Open my computer, update my tracking sheet, only thing left to track is sleep. Mark "1" because I had to wake up in the middle of the night to pee. Blame it on the late dinner. Didn't finish until 9p, I like to finish by 8p at the latest, preferably earlier.

Ate dinner late yesterday due to a miscommunication we had. Asked her if she wanted to go out. There was food in the fridge for the kids, and they'd be happy to spend the evening at home playing video games and watching YouTube. She couldn't think of anything she wanted. We went back and forth for a while, and it seemed to me she was on the precipice of accepting one of my restaurant ideas but always stopped short.

And then for the next 2 hours there was a series of phone calls she made or received, I don't know for sure. I halfheartedly tried to get her attention but no success. Finally at 8p she was free and figured I'd already ate. I said I was waiting for her. She asked why. I'm like, would you have just eaten dinner without me on Saturday while I was on the phone?

She said fine, let's go out. We got in the car. Started to drive. Want do you want? Not that hungry she said, maybe she won't eat. Huh? How about the Greek place, I said. Sure, she said. We started to have an actual conversation about her work stuff. Feels normal. It's been a normal Saturday, things are fine. Pull into a parking spot. Are you just going to get takeout she asks, can I just wait in the car? I'm like, what? I don't want takeout that bad. Let's go somewhere else. She doesn't want to go anywhere she concedes.

In fairness to her, I've been obnoxious about dinner recently because we haven't been drinking alcohol. That is, I've been making every dinner out into a referendum on drinking. Analyzing, complaining, etc. So she admitted she wasn't really interested in having dinner with me lately. I drove us home, heated up some leftovers for myself and we didn't talk the rest of the night.

Watching YouTube while sipping my coffee in the morning, trying to wake up and prepare myself to run. Figured I should get off the couch around 6:30 or 6:45 to beat the mid-September Central Florida heat, but it was just before 7 and I was still watching Sopranos clips. She woke up and poured herself a cup of coffee. Great, I thought, I'm going to get up right when she sits down and she'll think I'm avoiding her, which I'm not. But instead she avoided me by taking her coffee and sitting outside.

So I did get up. Brushed my teeth, washed my face, got my running gear on, opened the slider to the back patio slightly, told her I was going to run, love ya. Love ya too.

A few miles in, Romy transported me to another place. The sound of her new album reminded me of Ibiza. Simpler times. Happier times. Well, now that I think about it, I remember we fought there too. I think it was about me staying out too late the first night and ruining the first beach day. But I wasn't thinking about that on my run. Just the warm sun, the cold Mediterranean water, the dance clubs, the music.

Romy sings to presumably her partner about not needing to be so strong. It makes me want to communicate more clearly that although I seem like I have it all together, I don't. But I need to be strong for her and the kids. I want to believe she'd welcome me being vulnerable with her, but that doesn't always go so well. Usually it's in money conversations that I express vulnerability. But I think she interprets it as accusations and she feels guilty about her spending. Maybe if I was vulnerable about life and happiness it'd go better?

Romy sings about advice she receives to enjoy your life. That what's our life has been missing, joy. Too much of a slog lately. I come back from my run inspired to talk to her. After I get out of the shower I sit next to her in silence as she watches Say Yes to the Dress and I reread my notes on the Courage to be Disliked. After a few minutes she gets up, turns off the TV and leaves the room. I keep reading. All problems are interpersonal problems, discard other people's tasks, seek community feeling.

I decide to to tell her I'll join her and dad at BW3 to watch football after church. They had planned to go watch the Bengals. That's another sore subject. It's annoying she cheers for the Bengals. But maybe I should chill out and accept it. I mean, I should have a long time ago. The Steelers will be on TV too, and we could all watch the games. I could drink beer again, life's too short.

But my conversation doesn't go like it did in my head. She says I probably shouldn't go because she's going to watch the Bengals and it's a bar. And I sort of dropped it.

We drive separately to church because our daughter needs dropped off at a friend's after. So I leave 15 minutes early with my oldest son to practice his driving in the elementary school parking lot that's on the way to the church. My son and I get to church first. She shows up a few minutes later in a Bengals T-shirt and earrings.

Church opens with a testimonial about joy. I start to reflect about how have I arrived at a place in my life where I will be spending Sunday morning with my family at church, but then skip watching football and drinking beer. That would be the opposite of joy. I want my life to be the new Romy album not the new Spanish Love Songs album.

So I rehearse a redo of the conversation I had earlier with her. I will listen and hopefully end up in a place where I say I'll drop our daughter off then meet everyone else at BW3. But it doesn't go that way. My oldest says he's so excited for B-Dubs. He'll ride with me. I say I'm taking our daughter to her friend's. He said that's OK. I say I might not be going to B-Dubs. I ask her if the boys will ride with her. She says whatever. They do. My daughter and I go our separate way. Conversation was over before it started.

I drop my daughter off. Think for a moment of just going to B Dubs, ordering a beer and sitting at the table with them. But I chicken out. Decide I'll grab myself a healthy lunch at Bolay then go Publix to get stuff to cook for dinner tonight and tomorrow. Might as well do something useful while I've gotten myself into this quagmire.

In line at Bolay, after the sweet potato noodles and kale salad are already in my bowl, and I am waiting to give them my vegetable selections, she texts me and asks me if I'm coming and need a seat. I said no thanks, I will get lunch on my own. She said she missed me. I said I missed her too.

Listening to Ryen Russillo's podcast driving from Bolay to Publix. He's recounting his trip to Europe last month--Barcelona and Ibiza--coincidental timing to my thoughts from the Romy album. I am picturing myself doing this solo traveling. Lots of eating dinner at the bar. It sounds fun but I'd want a drink. It was at this precise moment that I locked in on life being too short, and not drinking was creating more problems in my life than drinking was.

I have stopped looking forward to things. Not just tangible things like a dinner out or a weekend away, but also hypothetical things, like I couldn't picture a hypothetical trip to Mallorca without relaxing at the end of the evening with a nice meal with a nice drink. So much of life is just our internal thoughts and daydreams, and I am having a hard time envisioning future good times because I picture myself actively avoiding drinking, ruining the good times. Even when I drive by hole-in-the-wall local restaurants, thinking maybe we should explore that place, then I picture ordering ice water and the fun thought goes away. Life's too short, I should let myself have a drink every once in a while.

Maybe I will fail by reintroducing alcohol due to my all or nothing personality. That is, I say I want to be able to drink when situationally relevant, but that leads to 3 beers at home on a Tuesday. But I have to try, because I am being a miserable person. And I can watch all the online content creators that gave up drinking and they're probably right, but they replaced it with other things in life. I would like to replace it with hiking and biking and kayaking. But she is not interested in that. She is interested in date nights on Park Ave and weekends at the beach and vacations in Europe. And I'm interested in those things too. But she is OK with those things without alcohol, and I am interested in those things if I can have a couple beers with dinner.

She texts me again and ask where I am. I tell her Publix, getting something to grill for dinner. She says OK. I tell her maybe I will stop by for the second half if the Steelers can score a few points, per the ESPN app on my phone, they're down 20-0 at this point. I add "lol" to the end of my text message response. Steelers snag a TD right before the end of the first half on my way home. I drop the groceries off and head to B-Dubs to watch the second half.

By time I arrive, the second half has already started and the Steelers have already given up another TD. She's in a booth, with her dad and stepmom all in Bengals gear. My boys are there too. Youngest playing on his phone, oldest engaged with the Steelers game but frustrated in lighthearted way. The Bengals aren't playing well either. They'd end up losing by 21, the Steelers by 23. Before that, while her stepmom wondering aloud if she should complain to the waitress about the $2 upcharge for celery that she wasn't aware of, and I introduce her to the concept of "charge it to the game" which I don't think she understands.

While they still talking about the bill, I get up, head to the bar and order a Heineken draft. I come back to the table and say "life's too short" probably more under my breath than actually out loud, and drink the beer.

[froggy-life]

9/13/23

It's Wednesday my dudes!! Will probably make weekly updates as opposed to daily updates because I don't really have much time to do it daily with work and other thing. How this will work will be a bit odd to explain, but I hope it makes sense as I go along.

So, since I am doing this blog as a part of my morning routine, I will begin with the events of last week Wednesday and work my way up to last night, so in this case Tuesday night.

Last Wednesday was an 8/10 day for me. Went to get lunch and walked to the library where my boyfriend works. We took a peek at what the museum director was doing for that portion of the library which was amazing to see the process on. I can't wait to see it when it is complete.

Thursday was a work day, so not much happened there, same with Friday.

Saturday went by super slow for us, we went shopping super early like normal, then we did basic house chores. But we did have one of our close friends come over that night and we played some games, so that was a good day.

Sunday was a chill day. We went to my boyfriend's parents' house to have brunch with his mom, who is an AMAZING person by the way, we talked about an upcoming trip to Missouri that we have in a couple weeks. We also talked about the upcoming trip to Mississippi that we have in February, getting major details ironed out, like dates, flights, and activities that we have to book months in advance. I am so excited for this trip.

Monday rolls around, and it's back to work, it's a long shift which I get through with no hassle at all, had a really good day, got to work in my favorite spot all day. It was slow and long, but otherwise, a really good shift.

Yesterday, being Tuesday, was also a really good shift. It was a short day, only working 5 hours that day, so I got to go home and enjoy being at home with my boyfriend. Yesterday was also the day I've made the decision to quit vaping for good. I threw away all my vapes, got myself a big bag of Jolly ranchers to use in place of that and took up crocheting again. Not much project making but more like idle movement with my hands, so I don't feel the need to reach for my vape, and when I do feel that need, I reach for a Jolly Rancher instead.

I hope this isn't to long for y'all to read, if it is please let me know and I'll make it more concise with lists and a rating. I'll probably be making a few changes to the formatting as time goes on to make it easier to follow and less reading for you to do. I am still new at this so please have some patience. Constructive advice will always be appreciated.

Thanks for reading this far. HAPPY WEDNESDAY

[coochiecowgirl]

My weekend was so short and busy. I slept literally all day Sunday (I went to bed at 5am, woke up at 6pm, and then went back to bed around 10pm). I didn’t feel like a real person yesterday, but I’m feeling normal and awake today, after sleeping for another 10 hours.

Friday night I went out with some friends and then got a call from a gal who lives in Seattle area who was up visiting so she and her husband met us at a club and we danced and then made out and then had a threesome at a place I was cat sitting at and it was so hot and fun. Afterwards I went back and joined my friends and danced some more and it was such a good night lol.

Saturday I helped a friend move and then saw the Barbie movie in the evening with another friend and then stayed up late drinking and talking and playing games with her and her friend.

This is my last week of working 50 hours and I can’t fucking wait to finally have 3 day weekends again. I miss my sleep/recovery days.

I’m supposed to be meeting a friend and her coworkers/friends this Saturday I think but at least I’ll have Friday night and Sunday to be lazy haha

[type1cyclingdan]

Sleep is overrated!!!

Sleep is overrated! well people that cant sleep will tell you that, I would love to be able to sleep well but currently my diabetes is making that impossible. For the last week my sleep has been pretty rubbish with only 1 good day, the last couple of days have been particularly worse with Saturday into Sunday my alarm for low glucose starting at 3am and me giving up and getting up at 5am. Then Sunday into Monday well as I type I have pretty much been awake since before 12am, I got up smashed 10 jelly babies in the hope that that would keep my levels high enough to sleep and in theory that should have shot my levels up but nope nope nope it was not to be and the alarm was back sounding at 02:30 with me giving in and just getting up at 03:30. With out even thinking the words I said to myself as I got up was "Fuck My Life" which is how I was feeling, feeling sorry for myself, but even though sleep is a massive part of recovery from training it is what it is and letting it get to me is not going to change anything is it. 

After eating the jelly babies my levels only went up to around 5.8 and then started dropping again, there are 20 grams of carbs in 4 jelly babies so with me eating 10 thats 50 grams of carbs with no insulin which should see me spike considerably. The only thing to do is reduce the amount of long lasting insulin (Levemer) which seems to change every week, I have been having to take 5 units in the morning and 5 at night to keep my levels consistant a little while but that will be more like 3 units at the moment.

On the plus side I have had a really good week on the bike with the training rides in Exeter and Newport and then a rest day Friday and then into a tough race specific training session that on paper was hard but I smashed it with way harder number hit that what was prescribed. Sundays ride was a 3 and a half hour ride with some endurance efforts, I started to struggle towards the end but managed to get through with only one of the intervals that I could not hit as my legs would not let me.

There is a cycling magazine called Cycling Weekly which comes out every Thursday and it Publishes the results of some of the races around the country, I normally have a look to see how people that I know or know of have got on. This week I was looking and realised that the race that I was in was in there and that there I was in the CAT 4 race in 3rd position, only the second time I have been in there. The first time was years ago, again a 3rd place, but in a time trial race Back when I was a lot stronger and faster. Hopefully, plenty more additions will have my name in them, and with some first place results, actually, not hopefully there will be many first place results to come. A phrase that I say to the kids alot is "If you think you can't then you are right you can't but if you think you can you are also right you can" so I have to live by my own example hey. 

I have a few recovery days ahead of me with some easy zone 2 rides and then a hard sesion on Wenesday, I am then away for work Thurday and Friday in Avonmouth and then back to racing on Saturday with a race down in Kent. It is a circuit that I really like and is a good one to get away in in a break so I will be looking to improve on my 3rd place in the last race and with my current form there is absolutely no reason why not.

Dream big, work hard, keep trying, and never give up, and always believe that you can achieve.

#Typeonewarrior #T1D #Keeptryingnevergiveup #Wegoagain #giant #GiantPropel #Giantpropeladvanced #Giantbikes #BelieveAndAchieve

[inherstars]

Of Cats

Rough couple of days.

We have six cats, aged from 10 months to 12 years. For better or for worse, they're our kids.

The second youngest (Jolly Roger) went off his food and started vomiting on Wednesday. We gave him 24 hours to feel better, and when he didn't we got him into our regular vet Thursday afternoon. No fever, no guarding, he was otherwise acting normally. They gave him something for nausea and some sub-q fluids and said to bring him back in Friday AM for an x-ray if he didn't improve.

He ate half his food Friday night and kept it down overnight, but his half-brother (Happy) threw up his dinner. All the other cats were going off their food as well. We decided it might have been the food and, since Jolly kept his dinner down, we didn't go in for the X-ray on Friday.

Friday night and Saturday, back off his food and more vomiting. His brother stopped eating and was throwing up, as were some of the other cats. Seemed viral, which is strange considering they're all indoor. By Saturday I was worried enough about Jolly that we decided to take him to the emergency vet.

Still no fever. Slight weight loss. ER vet took x-rays and found what he described as something "troubling" in his stomach that he thought could be an obstruction. Advised exploratory surgery, so we signed off on it. Left him at 11:30 that night, stayed up until 3:30 last night waiting for word of how it went, but the vet never called. Other cats still alternately refusing food or vomiting up everything they try to eat.

Sunday AM and the vet calls, says that there were some non-food items in Jolly's stomach, but nothing causing an obstruction, and nothing out of line with what most cats probably eat off the floor in the course of being infuriating morons anyway. Some other findings -- low white blood cell count, swollen lymph nodes, inflamed pancreas, but nothing of interest on biopsy. Still waiting on cytology results, but started him on a broad spectrum antibiotic and anti-parasitic just in case. Thinks it's probably something communicable since the other cats were affected as well.

The other cats are hopefully, slowly, please please please on the mend. Happy threw up his breakfast but ate a very modest dinner and managed to keep it down. We just offered him some more and my husband said he inhaled it, he's sitting in my lap and purring like he owns the world at the moment.

Rosie ate 3 churus in a row and kept a small dinner down as well. Spencer hasn't been sick but he's been on and off with his food (which isn't super surprising, as he's on a prescription food that he's not a huge fan of to begin with.) Link has been completely unaffected this whole time. Pym is barely eating, but Pym barely eats even at her best, so I suspect that's just Pym being Pym. She ate most of a Churu, but she's sour with me because I tried to pill her and it's clearly the worst thing that's ever happened to her. She's been off her Prozac for 2 days now, which isn't helping.

Had to REMIND the vet to call me and tell me what the fuck is going on with Jolly. They didn't feed him breakfast but supposedly offered him dinner that he didn't touch. They're going to try again tonight, and remove his cone in case that's putting him off.

Link and Happy were wandering the hall crying for him last night. Broke my heart into a million pieces.

When all is said and done we'll probably be at around $7,000 for this mess. I understand the emergency vet was just doing his job, and we could have refused the surgery, but I do feel like everything was pointing to it being viral.

But they're worth it, I in no way begrudge them the cost. We're going to have to shelve some plans we had and scale down some other things, but we'll make it work.

Lord but I am stressed and tired, though. I want to take off tomorrow and deep clean the house, but don't feel like I can. Maybe I'll just do a thorough clean of the office while I'm working.

Made Marc his tofu scramble for the week, however, and my tofu egg salad for lunches. My friend who is going through chemo received the gifts I got her and seems touched and happy. I wish she'd let me help more, but I'll do what I can for her. Small wins. I'm sad and frustrated and angry about things I can't do much about, but I'm trying to stay positive.

Tomorrow I'll do my best and refocus on my goals.

[scoups4lyfe]

Journal Entries. (2)

These are all mood journal entries (so super short / concise) of mine; where I chart my daily moods over a period of time.

These chronicle the time right before I scheduled an appointment with a psychiatrist (March) and when I started medication (antidepressants) for my depression / fatigue.

NOTE: These don't contain any long thoughts, literally just mood observations. But I think it does a pretty good job at showing just how inconsistent and sudden mood episodes / switching can be, and why they're so debilitating for trying to live a normal everyday life. I added some gifs / pictures for rando visuals LOL. Truly complete the reading experience 🤪.

Part: [1], [2], [3], [4] Bipolar PPT Essay: [1], [2], [3], [4], [5], [6]

...

March 27th, 2021

Slept: 4am. Woke: 4pm

Mood: 2/10 Energy: Neutral (Maybe a 2/10)

I just feel empty. Like I need to go hibernate/go back to sleep. I’m not hungry. I’m not particularly motivated, and I kind of wish my sister would sit down and watch Hannibal with me and my mom, so it bums me out that she continues to put that off/ignore it.

I’m tired, man. It’s 8:21 pm, and I’m already thinking about going back to bed. When my family hangs out, I can be mindless and just let their good mood and entertainment take over. Other than that, I don’t feel particularly interested in doing anything, though I know I should. I have things to do. I don’t even feel bad about not doing anything. Just empty. Just ready to sleep.

March 28/29th, 2021:

:(

NOTE: Visual reference of what I looked like during this time

March 30th, 2021:

Bed: 6:30 pm. Woke: 4:30 am

Mood: -1/10

My mood can be directly related to how many gluten free brownies I’ve eaten today. (Thee ONLY thing I’ve eaten too might I add.) (it’s 5pm)

…

[Started taking meds]

Tuesday July 6th 2021 (6:03 pm) (12th)

NOTE: The number next to the date is the number of days since I started taking medication

took meds (YES)

I was kinda so depressed from the doctor’s visit and loss of money that even with the meds, it couldn’t stop me from sleeping. LOL.

Thursday July 8th 2021 (12:10 pm) (14th)

took meds: yes

I had enough energy to watch [my niece]

I had enough energy to have a mental breakdown.

Tuesday July 13th 2021 (19th)

took meds: yes (4:44 pm)

I feel so tired…fatigued….

Thursday, July 15th 2021 (21st)

took meds: yes (2:47)

Slept four hours

Overall energy: 3/10

Mood:4.5:10

Napped for three hours, had dinner + caffeinated tea and I feel shaky-awake.

Bruh I did not sleep (for the 16th) at all 💀💀💀.

Friday, July 16th, 2021 (22nd)

took meds: yes (12:06pm)

Haha going to bed right after I took my meds 😛🤷

Friday July 23rd, 2021 (31st)

took meds: yes (11:12 am)

This week idk. It’s been weird? Like tired and then also hyper fixated on nonsense =DD.

Why (2:40 pm) am I so tired? Don’t want to do anything.

(Currently Saturday morning, 6;22 am and I can’t sleep. I’m NOT tired. But I want to sleep.)

This is the WORST.

Saturday July 24th, 2021 (32nd)

took meds: 7:21 pm

I feel wired and tired and just like I can’t do anything even tho I have the energy to

Sunday July 25th, 2021 (33rd)

took meds: yes (11:26 am)

I know I woke up at 8pm today, but man I really don’t want to do SHIT. (And after drinking that nasty ass fiber supplement, I’m feeling tired =o. When will this insanity end?)

Tuesday July 27th 2021 (35th)

took meds: yes (10:04 am)

Mood (10:07 am): 7/10

Energy (10:07 am): 6.7/10

Wednesday July 28th 2021 (36th)

took meds: yes (4:23pm)

Literally went to sleep at 1am and woke up at 4:15 pm. Wtf? (I slept 16hrs LOL)

Mood (6:03 pm): 6.5/10

Energy (6:03 pm): 7.2/10

Today was a good day, I got more work done than yesterday :)).

(3:19, Thursday am): laid down and tried to sleep but now I feel more awake than ever.

Thursday July 29th 2021 (37th)

took meds: yes (4:29 pm)

Went to bed last night at 8am, woke up at 4:33 pm. (I hate not being able to fall asleep. Is it because I slept for 16 hrs the previous night? #sucks.)

Mood (7:44 pm): 7.5/10

Energy: (7:44 pm): 6.4/10

Friday July 30th 2021 (38th)

took meds: yes (8:15 pm)

I almost forgot to take them today ahhhhhh

Mood: 6/10

Energy: 6.7/10

Saturday July 31st 2021 (39th)

I have plenty of energy (I haven’t taken my meds yet) and yet I feel like I’m going insane. I. Can’t do anything right. Why why why why why must I continue to be a failure? I had something good going for me wtf is wrong with me? I don’t want to wake up anymore

Took meds: yes (11:44 am)

(Slept till 9pm, it’s 8:22 am Sunday and I’m still awake. But on the plus side I’m not careening dangerously into another mental breakdown.,,yet)

Sunday August 1st 2021 (40th)

took meds: yes (12:17 pm)

I haven’t slept yet today

General mood: hmmm 5/10 (12:18pm)

I do feel a little tired but that’s probably because I’ve been up since 9pm.

Generally tho I’m feeling pretty okay. (Guess we’ll see how the rest of today goes lol.)

[Prev] [Next]

[daveinediting]

Well dang. We did it.

Again.

First time with horror, though. And that was for sure different.

The starting gun actually goes off at 7pm Friday with all teams, through a random drawing, committing to a Horror sub-genre plus specifically required elements including a character name, line of dialogue, and a prop.

By first thing Saturday morning I have a script to study. By 2pm I have the morning's footage to review and organize and cut. By 630 I have the second, final batch of footage.

Choosing to deal with what I already have on the table I ignore the afternoon's footage (other than confirming its playback from my drives). I don't log it. I don't tag it. 

By the time I do, though, get around to looking at that footage for the first time, it's 11:30. Still Saturday. But just barely.

And by the time I'm done reviewing and tagging and cutting that footage into the film and finessing the whole thing...

Yeah.

It's 4:30 Sunday morning.

A.M.

Factor in a little time for file export, upload, and emailing the director...

And now it's 4:45 that I'm slipping into bed. Of course now it's fifteen minutes later because I forgot to feed the cat hours earlier and if he's not gonna get to eat...

He's gonna make sure I don’t get any sleep.

So I'm finally in bed for real after feeding the cat at 5 Sunday morning.

Cut to black.

Four hours later, that same morning, I’m up, out and about. Moving pretty okay. Mental faculties seemingly intact. Kimmer ‘n I both take a bit of time for breakfast and lounging in bed. Like it’s a normal Sunday morning. You know?

10:30am I'm back to work on credits, texting with the film’s composer, futzing with the 48hfp required slate, as well as filling out, scanning, and emailing the required project and materials waivers.

Noon, Sunday, the producer and director show up for an afternoon of fixes, tightening, and polishing the film to within an inch of its life.

3pm I'm exporting the file of our film, run into a problem with the title animation, fix the title animation then export the whole thing again. Watched that file with the producer and director. Transferred the file to a flash drive and watched it again from that drive out of sheer, well...

You only get one shot to get this right. So when you do have the time...

You verify everything.

That's just how it goes.

After that, a little socializing and the producer and director are on their way out the door.

Four o'clock.

Sunday afternoon.

Three hours ahead of the deadline.

BAM.

Of course there's still paperwork and uploading our file to the 48hfp servers, but—

That's not my problem.

😊

My part's done and soon Kimmer 'n I are off to, well, first a car wash for the car but right after that drinks at Tapster, sitting out on the patio with a view of South Lake Union. Basically we're in tees, shorts, and flip-flops.

In October for crying out loud.

After we're back at the apartment for a bit, Linzy comes over and we watch the back half of "Enola" on Netflix because we watched the front half the week before and we all love this movie.

It’s a classic. Plus, the sequel drops on November 4.

Around 10pm Linzy 'n I walk the neighborhood a bit, basking in the gloriously cool air starting to fill the city. 

By the way, last year, after my first experience with the competition, Kimmer 'n I celebrated at Maggie Bluffs over at the marina in Magnolia. This year, July, we celebrated at Cactus in South Lake Union. 

I look forward to that, is all I'm saying. Not just finishing a short film (6-1/2 minutes this time around)... but also, to have a normal Sunday evening after such a stunningly abnormal Saturday night.

🙂

[fuck-customers]

I work at green and brown hometown market. Normally it’s fine.

My boss is okay, employees are fine.

I got the flu last Wednesday.

I was scheduled Thursday and Friday, so I called in. Boss wants to me get covid test. Nbd, we sell them. Go to work.

Get told I can’t take at home, have to go get tested.

She tells me to go to a doctor. I don’t have insurance or PTO or sick leave. I cannot.

Drive SICK all over town finding covid testing place.

Get test, is negative. Nurse says it’s probably the flu.

Out of work Thursday and Friday. Saturday they want me to come back if I don’t have a fever.

I work Saturday. I have to sit down at register all day. Feel even worse. Get told it’s allowed ‘this one time’.

Off work Sunday. Scheduled Monday-Thursday this week.

Tell boss Sunday night that I feel worse and I’m running a fever now.

Stay home Monday and Tuesday.

They want me back today if I don’t have a fever.

I go to work today. Two hours in im going to pass out or vomit. Go to the bathroom and shit everything in my body.

Boss: “YoU nEeD tO gO tO tHe DoCtOr, CoMe BaCk WiTh A nOtE. ItS cOnCeRnInG yOuR nOt GeTtInG bEtTeR.”

Like…. I PROBABLY HAVE THE FLU.

Let me die at home please.

You only pay me 10$/hour and I’m part time with NO benefits.

Fuck you know.