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lostmyshadesanon · 2 years

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🦊 Here with my yearly contribution to the melting of @teyvat-writer 's braincells. A lot less set up to this one compared to last year, I hope you can forgive me, and I hope you have a lovely 🍰 day and many a good fortune! This one is early so it's not their bday yet everyone.

Stefano Valentini x Male!Reader (Part 1/?)

Tags: NSFW. No smut this chapter unfortunately. Violence. Blood. Death. The rude public. It's Stefano guys come on.

You stood outside the Krimson City Gallery freezing your ass off. You were shivering harder than that poor Chihuahua that passed you tucked away in it's owner's Gucci handbag.

Tonight all the rich and richer were gathering at the gallery to watch the grand unveiling of an artist you hadn't quite caught the name of. But you felt that you should be cut some slack considering that you were running on five hours of total sleep in the past three days, a stomach load of that vile tar the break room called coffee, and enough spite to reanimate the dead.

The "perks" of being the new rookie cop for the Krimson City Police Force meant that you were everyone's bitch. Or the more polite term would be the team gopher. Go for this and go for that. Get these files scanned in before lunch newbie, go get coffee for the detectives newbie, call the 80 year old technophobic witness who screams in your ears for hours newbie, and you could go on but you're afraid you'll knock yourself out reciting the mundane list of tasks.

And now to add to the list you were acting as line security during the dead of winter checking entrance seeker's tickets, and taking the brunt of those in lines irritability due to the cold. It had been a last minute assignment by the chief to add you to the group participating in the gallery's security and because of that your wardrobe was vastly unprepared.

You were supporting just the basic KPD uniform, which was more suited for the spring or fall, a red scarf you had just had the for thought to snag from your locker before being whisked out the door, your uniform's hat that didn't even brush your ears leaving them a bright red due to the biting cold, and your thermal socks desperately fighting to keep your toes from becoming ice blocks.

You squinted your eyes against the piercing wind, customer service smile plastered on your face, as you stamped the entrance ticket for another guest, that's coat cost more than your monthly rent as they angrily ranted about how long they had to wait in line, and did you know who they are?!?!

Externally you bowed your head in apology, and gestured them off to the next officer in line that was fortunately for them, and filled you with jealousy, inside the door to take their coat to check for weapons. Internally you glanced down at the rude event goer's red soled stilletos and contemplated how easy it would be run the point heel into the top of their foot on "accident" not enough to break the arch but enough to leave a bruise for DAYS.

Your smile just that much more plastic you turned to the next person in line. Locking eyes with very amused brown ones. You jolted up into formal posture trying to raise your shaking limbs into a salute, but they couldn't stay still long enough to hold the posture.

"Detective Castellanos!" You stuttered teeth chattering.

His eyes raked over you quickly before he whistled and shook his head at your appearance. "Damn, they're really running you hard aren't they newbie? Hand off your gear to Kidman here. She'll take over. And we'll take you to the break room to get warmed up."

You were ready to cry with gratitude if you didn't think it would freeze your lids shut. Carefully you handed off the stamp and entry list to Junior Detective Kidman and stumbled after Detective Castellanos.

Once inside the gallery he swiftly lead you through a side door and into a break room full of officers, a white board full of scribbles and grainy printed off pictures, and what looked like a table full of catered snacks. Detective Castellanos dropped you off in a chair next to the heater before detouring back to the whiteboard.

"All Right!" Castellanos called out silencing the idle chatter amongst the officers. "You all know why we're here, but just as a recap. There is a murderer going around pretending to be the next Van Gogh. He's kidnapping the rich and the beautiful before brutally mutilating them and then murdering them. He leaves photos at the crime scenes of the victims last moments before death, and what our analysts say is his form of a signature on his "art". A big show like this art exhibit is a prime space for him to kidnap a new victim, or and our analysts believe he has enough of an ego, to try and hijack this event and show off his "art" in place of Mr. Valentini's. Stay on your toes! That is all."

The crowd of officer started to disperse towards their assigned tasks, and thankfully to your nearly clutching the heater had warmed you up enough that you only had slight numbness and tingles in your extremities. Detective Castellanos popped up in front of you again grabbing you by the back of your uniform and bustling you out of the room. "Your with me newbie. Time to learn!"

Excitement hummed through your blood. You're sure with the amount of officers on the premise that, the newspaper appointed Photo Killer, wouldn't dare try something tonight but it's the most exciting thing that's happened to you all week! Carefully following Detective Castellanos around the Gallery as he pointed out places of entry, suspicious activity of viewers and what it could mean, and the rotation of officers in and out of the building.

Throughout the evening you had gotten close enough to Detective Castellanos for him to allow you to call him as just Detective or Sebastian, apparently Castellanos reminds him to much of when his mother would scream at him across the house when she was mad he released frogs indoors. You also learned about some of his past like he was divorced, and when he took on his new partners Joseph and Kidman. He even ruffled your hair at some point in the night though you jammed him in the side for that one, freezing for a moment in fear at the blatant disrespect before relaxing when Sebastian laughed through his wheezing, due to the pain.

You were filled with the determination to learn and a subtle need to please the Detective that seemed to be taking you under his wing! If you did well he might add you to his team which would be a fast pass to becoming a detective. At least you were determined for the first few hours by the time it was pushing close to midnight and you were now at close to four days without sleep you were about at your limit.

You could tell Sebastian was getting close to suggesting you call it a night, when the bell tolled midnight, and the lights cut out with a sudden pop. Screaming filled the venue when you felt Sebastian grab your arm firmly and start pulling you closer to a wall so as not to get separated. He was barking into the walkie talkie demanding to know what was going on.

As you were being pulled forward you swore you could taste something metallic just in the back of your throat. It reminded you of pennies you had been dared to put in your mouth back in your play ground days but where was it coming from?

Just as suddenly as the light went out a spot light appeared in the direction Sebastian was dragging you. A woman doing the splits was within the lights, her hands tied up above her head similar to a ballerina's pose her red soled pointing towards the cieling easily visible, her terrified but familiar eyes locked with yours before the lights clicked off again. A camera flash illuminated her for a brief second, and you saw a man standing over the woman with a knife, before the lights flooded the venue back to full brightness once more.

The woman was dead at your feet, blood pouring from her throat and stomach staining her outfit, in a manner similar to a tutu, a dark red and spreading slowly outwards to cover your feet. You knew her. It was the rude woman from the line. The one you could vaguely remember daydreaming about stomping on her foot with the very heels you could so clearly see now. Distantly you heard Sebastian curse as all hell broke loose behind you as gallery goer's screamed and tried to run for the exists.

"Newbie!" Sebastian yelled, "Secure the crime scene! Don't let anyone touch her. I have to make sure that no one leaves the premise! Our killer's here!" Sebastian repeated his orders into the walkie talkie as he sprinted towards the main entrance.

You didn't have to do much everyone was giving the woman a wide birth, if they were anywhere close at all. Carefully observing her while your fellow officers rushed around the scene. You jolted in shock when a man got close to you from behind.

"Sir you can't get any closer this is a crime scene!" You hurried exclaimed while turning around your eyes immediately connected with an intrigued blue grey eye, the other covered carefully up by dark brown hair.

"I wasn't going to disturb her." The man said his voice more of a pur. "But I admit I was a bit curious about the beautiful man appraising her so closely when he didn't take a single look at my gallery all night, and to learn what about her intrigues him so?" Icy eyes staring deeply into your own his head tilting in question and a rogueish smile tilting the corners of his lips pulling at the barely visible scaring under his fringe.

"Oh! You must be Mr. Valentini! You saw me? How? I mean how did you see I didn't admire your work?" You stuttered out about to continue asking the man to back away from the crime scene when he caught your gesturing hand and brought it to his slightly chapped lips.

"For a beautiful treasure such as yourself I am Stefano, and your scarf... it's as red as blood if you'll forgive the comparison and quite easy to track in a crowded hall such as this, and you dodged my question treasure." The question pulled from deep in the back of the artist's throat.

"Oh well," You stumbled over your answer a combination of nerves due to the inappropriate nature of your answers, and not wanting to offend the attractive man in front of you.

"Don't worry, treasure. I'm am artist any instructive criticism of my work is always welcomed." You flushed at the continued use of the pet name, and also the continued stroke of his gloved hand over your pulse as he retained ownership of your own. Though you had this small niggling feeling that the artist's words had more meaning than you thought.

You glanced around at all the paintings hung proudly around the Gallery. Before a brief flash of light drew your eyes down to a Polaroid of the poor victim floating softly in her blood. Guilty you glanced down and back up at him before stating, "Passion."

Stefano blinked slowly like a cat before mouthing the word. "Passion?"

You nodded swallowing thickly before continuing, "Your work is pretty. Don't get me wrong. Mr. Valent... Stefano! But it's kind of lifeless... That sounds terrible. It's just doesn't really have any feeling or passion in it."

Stefano continued to stroke your pulse with his thumb gesturing for you to continue but you could feel his grip become stronger his thumb pressing firmer against your wrist.

"But whomever the Photo Killer is. There's no denying his passion. It's terrible to say but each of his victims in their photos do look beautiful in a macabre sort of way... If he could get the same result without killing people I'm sure he'd be world famous because people would be moved by the passion he possesses for each of his works..." You were starting to feel a little uncomfortable as Stefano's grip continued to tightened the swiping thumb becoming faster and faster. You felt like you had tingles running down your spin from how intently he watched you.

"Yes," Stefano said in an almost could you say mournful voice? "If only such materials existed to communicate such art... Legally."

"Newbie!" The shout from Sebastian broke your staring contest with the artist. "Good you kept Mr. Valentini for questioning, and secured the crime scene." Sebastian carefully extracted you from Stefano's hold rubbing your wrist before directing you towards the door. Sebastian's eyes narrowed in distrust towards the artist's avid attention towards you.

Sebastian turned his head back to you. "Joseph just arrived why don't you give your statement to him, and head home I know you've been up for almost a week."

You nodded in understanding turning a way from that burning gaze and headed towards the door stopping only once at Stefano's call. "We should meet again soon, treasure. Our discussion on artistic perception was very enlightening."

You turned back enough to nod in understanding before continuing forward. You couldn't get your wrist to step tingling even after giving your statement to Joseph and you could feel that gaze tracking you everywhere.

Even when you get home and peeled off your uniformed. Only giving a brief thought to where your red scarf had disappeared to. You were more entranced by the clear ring of bruising around your wrist in the stark form of a hand print.

A/N:

Can I just say how much I hate that they spelled Stefano with an F instead of with a PH. Drives me insane.

I'm also a liar. I said there would be less setting for this one, and look at this a whole part one? What is this nonsense???

Once again Felix I hope you are doing amazing and if you want this edited at all to fit your preferences more just let me know. Just tell me if it's to much gore.

#stefano valentini #the evil within #the evil within 2 #stefano valentini x reader #stefano valentini x male!reader #sebastian castellanos

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fanonplussed · 7 months

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thanks @lu-sn for tagging me!

Rules: Go to your published works on AO3 and list the first fic you ever published there, the last fic you published, any fic that you wrote for a fandom/ship only once, your favorite fic you wrote in the fandom/ship that has the most works, the fic you wish more people read, the fic you agonized over the most, the fic that sprang fully formed from your mind without any effort, and a work you are proud of—for whatever reason.

first fic ever published: Settling Down, Settling In

this was Beka Cooper post-canon fic from 2011 and also the only het fic i ever wrote lollll though i then proceeded to publish nothing else for 8 years, i do still have a lot of fondness for this fic, and for the many, many het YA fantasy novels that have shaped the way i read and write

last fic published: a patient kind of guy

actually i lied, there's het in this fic too...specifically comphet, and the explorations thereof (it's a Be My Favorite fic, specifically a Pisaeng character study, nuff said). actually really proud of this one cause i like to think this fic showcases how far i've come in terms of being able to write angst, smut, humour, longing, and complex themes all in one 6k word fic

any fic i wrote for a ship only once: Five Times Wen Qing Writes to Jiang Yanli

huh, turns out i write quite a lot of ships only once, but i'm particularly proud of this femslash fic, firstly because in general there's not enough femslash in the world, and secondly because the MDZS ladies in specific deserved better!! also there's an incredible podfic recorded by some incredible people for it and listening to that was the COOLEST FREAKING THING

favorite fic for ship with most works: Thirty Years of (Someone Else's) Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?!

you know what, i loved this ship SO FUCKING MUCH and this was hands down the most joyful cracktastic fic i've ever written and it's all about THE MAGIC OF FRIENDSHIP and yeah, if i could pick one work to remember of everything i wrote for these boys, it would be this one. sigh.

fic i wish more people read: Dad Joke

speaking of joyful cracktastic fics about the magic of friendship lolllll Macau and Chay have so much potential to be INCREDIBLE together as romantic/platonic co-conspirators and i didn't even realise until i finished writing this fic--this legitimately started out with me wanting to have Macau yell "it's a dad joke" about calling Pete 'dad' and then i woke up from my 24 hour writing fugue state with new, inconvenient macauchay feels lol guess the joke is on me (also i sometimes read this fic again and still laugh at my own jokes and i'm v proud of that)

fic i agonized over the most: Starving, Faithful

okay i'm sure i agonised over The Long Road Across The Wilderness - 荒尘渡 too (42k words of yi city boys on a big bang deadline ><) but FUCKING HELL the sheer amount of SCREAMING i did about the vegaspete post-credits scene for Starving Faithful man, and how it didn't ALIGN THEMATICALLY with how i'd conceptualised vegaspete in chapters 1 through 4 with the HUNGER and the OWNERSHIP and i rewrote that ending scene SO many times (with very patient, intelligent handholding from my incredible beta) and in the end just kinda went fuck it and gave up lol tbh i still have no idea if it's as resonant or consistent as i wanted it to be but overall i think i did pretty okay with that fic anyway

fic that sprang fully formed from my mind: Seven Years

444 words of Xue Yang character study that just flowed out in like 10 minutes inspired by this piece of fanart, one of the coolest collab and writing experiences i've had because i'm a plotter so that's basically never happened to me before and has never happened to me again lol (maybe i should actively look for fanart i like to see if inspiration will strike again hmm...)

work i am proud of: all of them. genuinely. i worked hard on every single one of those fics and at least one person has enjoyed reading each one of those fics, and i dunno i just think that's really, really cool. fandom is really pretty special <3<3<3

tagging @ghost--houses and @giraffeter

#nonplussed's nonsense

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the-chronicles-of-a-bookworm · 1 year

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I posted 567 times in 2022

That's 566 more posts than 2021!

45 posts created (8%)

522 posts reblogged (92%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@so-scarlet-it-was-maroon

@vespersposts

@that-was-a-bit-stupid-of-you

@asunflowerana

@colorseeingchick

I tagged 250 of my posts in 2022

#hannah's dairy entry - 36 posts

#kuroko no basket - 31 posts

#jjk - 30 posts

#knb - 29 posts

#jujutsu kaisen - 24 posts

#hannah talks - 17 posts

#akashi seijuro - 14 posts

#tumblr games - 13 posts

#aomine daiki - 13 posts

#nanami kento - 13 posts

Longest Tag: 108 characters

#that balcony opposite my building with millions of different kinds of flowers basically filling up the place

My Top Posts in 2022:

ask: aloha, im new, an i was wondering uh..why dont you like JK rowling if she made harry putter *potter (sorry it doeint *doesint* let me backspace) but you like harry potter? sorry i dont mean to be rude or offend im actually really curious and would love to know <3 (if u dont wanna anzer *answer tat is fine lol) (IM SO SORRY FOR THE MISSSPELLS)

Hi! Firstly, welcome to my blog and the spelling mistakes are totally fine, I've faced them before. 😁😁 Now, I support the LGBTQ+ community and believe that someone's sexuality or gender does not matter in society. I was exposed to the terms 'gay' and 'lesbian' at a young age, and my parents explained them to me. However, they told me that homosexuality is a 'disgusting' act. I did not want to believe them, though. I always thought that if a boy liked another boy, or if a girl liked another girl, it was totally fine. It's like in fairytales, it's true love. Except, there are two princesses/princes. J.K. Rowling is, in very short words, a TERF. Why? It started on Twitter where JKR 'accidentally liked' a transphobic tweet. The tweet was something about trans men being 'men in dresses'. People all around the world started throwing hate comments at JKR saying things like "You are Voldemort" and stuff like that. Why people did not get a reply to the hate comments was because JKR stayed off of Twitter, as she says on her website. J.K. Rowling liked another post, yet again, on Twitter, which caused another outbreak of hate comments. But soon, JKR started to openly show her support for a person called Maya Forstater, a British tax advisor who wasn't renewed because of her transphobic posts. On her website, she lists the reasons why she is worried about trans activism, or something and you can check it out here.

I hope this did not bore you to death 😐, but, I needed to show just how much I do not support JKR. (I thought a long answer would show that.)

22 notes - Posted June 25, 2022

Imagine you’re at a party. You’re single. However, three guys you like are present. (They’re also hopelessly in love with you.) The games are:

Spin the bottle (kiss)

7 minutes in heaven (make-out)

truth or dare (oral)

You’re forced to participate in all three games. The games are rigged by your and his friends. Each game is a different guy. Pretend you have a choice. Gojo, Aomine, and Kento which act of sin?

Nonnie! I absolutely LOVED this question!! Okie, let's get started.

Nanami Kento - Truth or Dare. I choose him for this cause I think he'll be really understanding and wouldn't tease me too much about an embarrassing answer. And for dares, I don't think he'll make me do something to make me uncomfortable. dare me to kiss you pls .

I just found out that truth or dare is oral. Like, the, THE oral. and since my blog is SFW, i'm not going in detail. But my answer remains the same. People above 18 years of age probably understood what I meant by THE oral.

Gojo Satoru - 7 minutes in heaven. I honestly couldn't choose between this and Spin the Bottle. I chose 7 minutes in heaven cause I think he'll be much more experienced in this kind of stuff, you know. Sure, I'll have to endure some of his teasing but the reward i'm getting is good enough to make up for it.

Aomine Daiki - Spin the Bottle! For a boy who spends his whole life playing basketball, I don't think he has any experience being in relationships. I actually wanted him for 7 minutes in heaven, but most of that 7 minutes will just be one kiss and us being blushing, stuttering idiots. So yeah, spin the bottle.

This was really cute and I LOVED answering this. To be honest, I wanted all three of them for all the three *ahem* activities. But, that is not possible.

33 notes - Posted August 15, 2022

Aomine Daiki x Reader

Summary: Your boyfriend, Aomine, was away for a practise match between some other school. You, however, wanted cuddles. Pairing: Aomine Daiki x GN! Reader Warnings: None, just fluff Words: 538 a/n: I started writing this at 2:20 p.m. This is supposed to be gn!reader but I visualized a fem!reader when writing this. This is proofread but please give feedback. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“It’s cold.”, you whispered to yourself, silently hoping that Aomine could somehow hear you. Maybe the wind can carry your whispers to him. It was snowing slightly. Not enough for a blizzard or anything. Just little specks of white on the roads and pavements. As if the wind had sent your message to your boyfriend, you heard the keys jingling and a rough, deep voice calling out “Baby, I’m home!”

You run over to Aomine, jumping up and latching your arms around his neck, giving him soft, quick kisses on his cheek and down to his jaw.

“Daiki! Finally, you’re home. I’ve been waiting for so long and I want to cuddle.”, you whined.

You gave him your pouty face, slowly blinking your eyes and giving your boyfriend more kisses, trailing down his neck. Aomine has still not let you down, enjoying your kisses. After what seemed like eternity, your boyfriend placed you on the ground.

“C’mere baby. We can cuddle here.” Aomine said, guiding your red loveseat.

Aomine laid down first and opened his arms, gesturing you to come and cuddle up next to him.

His eyes drifted to your feet, and he smirked slightly.

“Oh! You’re stealing my socks too, now? Can’t get enough of me babe?”

“Shut up, Daiki.”, you said, slightly slapping his chest, “I missed you, and your socks are big and warm.”

“Okay, okay, sorry.”, he took you arms and started kissing your palm before he pressed his lips onto yours.

Aomine’s kisses varied from soft to passionate and rough. Right now, he was softly kissing you, lightly licking your bottom lip for permission to enter and you happily complied. It spread sparks of pleasure around your body. A euphoric feeling filling you body. Aomine’s lips on yours was the only thing you registered, completely blocking out anything else that was happening around you.

Aomine slowly pulled away, both of you slightly panting. You grinned before whispering his name, repeatedly.

“I love you so much, Daiki. And you’re right, I can never get enough of you”, you whispered.

His fierce blue eyes were oozing with warmth and love as he stared at you.

“I love you too, Y/N.”, Aomine whispered, pecking your lips.

“But I love you more.”, you teased, smirking slightly.

“No, I love you more.”

“In your dreams, Daiki.”

“That should be my line.”

“Huh? I couldn’t hear you.”, you giggled.

Aomine shifted so that he could hover over you and started tickling you. Your giggles and laughs filled the room. Even Aomine started laughing out loud. His warm laugh reached your ears and you giggled more.

“The only one who can love more is me!” you boyfriend said.

“Fine, fine! I surrender! Please stop!” you shouted, still laughing.

Aomine pulled his hand away and returned to your original position. You put your head in the crook of his neck before you felt your eyes slowly drooping.

You gave him a small kiss on his neck before you quiet snores filled the room. The last thing you registered was Aomine hugging you more tightly and a kiss on the back of you head.

(You can ask to be tagged in my posts)

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148 notes - Posted June 18, 2022

Akashi Seijuro x Fem!Reader

Pairing: Akashi Seijuro x Fem!Reader Warnings: my writing, tooth-rotting fluff Word count: 548 a/n: OOC Akashi I think. I am just writing this for myself but I'm just sharing it here for those who are willing to read stupid fics too. U can also request for something if you have anything on ur mind. just check the rules in my blog before requesting something. The ending is also very stupid cause i didn't know what to write. P.S.- I overdid it with the tags. ignore them... if u want to.

You were sitting on Akashi’s lap. One of his arms was wrapped around your waist, holding you tightly whilst the other handheld the book you were reading together, open. As he reached out to turn the page, your quiet voice called out.

“No, don’t turn it yet, I’m not done.”

“Well, how can I ignore your requests, fair maiden?”, your boyfriend said, before putting his hand back in its original place, around your waist.

“So cheesy, Sei. We should read something else other than medieval romance, then.”, you teased.

A warm, deep, velvety chuckle filled the room. Akashi’s hand slithers up your shirt and rests on your stomach.

“You’re right, darling. As much as I love reading, some books influence me. Nevertheless, I’m not taking back what I said before.

You giggled and turned to look at him. He set the book on the side table before turning his attention back to you.

He looks beautiful wearing his reading glasses. It was rectangular and was perched on his nose delicately. Akashi was looking at you from above his glasses. You reached your hand up, and took it off, setting it on the side table, above the book, carefully. Then, brought your face closer to his and lightly brushed your lips on his cheeks.

“You’re so pretty, you know that?”, you asked before proceeding to kiss his nose.

“Shouldn’t I say that to you, my love? You’re beautiful.” Akashi teased, pushing a strand of your hair that escaped its hair tie prison, behind your ear.

“Gorgeous” Kiss on the crown of you head.

“Attractive” Kiss on the top of your head.

“Appealing” Kiss on your forehead.

“Alluring” Kiss on the bridge of your nose.

“Bewitching” Kiss on your nose.

“irresistible” Kiss on one of your cheeks.

“heavenly” Kiss on your other cheek.

“pulchritudinous”

Akashi pressed his lips onto your, your cheeks dusted with red from what he said you were. You could feel Akashi smirking against your lips. He won the teasing game, fair and square. Just as he was pulling away, you pecked his lips slightly before pulling back yourself.

“I don’t know how you know all those words, especially the last one. I thought you were telling me that I’m like fruit punch or something. Or fruit pulp. Or studious. Does studious make sense, though? Maybe fruit juice who studies well. A smart fruit juice. A smart fruit! What’s a smart fruit, though? Maybe apples, cause they’re better than doctors.”

You boyfriend let a laugh he has been trying to hold back for so long. His beautiful laugh broke you out of your own thoughts.

“Huh? What happened, babe?”

“Nothing, darling. You were rambling.”

“Well,”, you said, smiling a little, “If it is annoying, I’ll just go.”

“No, no, love! I meant to say that its adorable.”

You laughed before wrapping your arms around his body and snuggling your face into the crook of Akashi’s neck.

“I love you.”

“I know,”, Akashi said softly, “I love you too.”

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271 notes - Posted June 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

boyfriend! nagi who presses lazy morning kisses to your face whenever he wakes up earlier than you (which is rare) "wake up princess, i want some kisses too y'know"

boyfriend! nagi who relishes in the kisses you press to his cheeks and his cutey patootie nose and his beautiful, closed eyelids and finally a small, barely there, peck to his lips.

boyfriend! nagi, who loves sleeping, but loves you more, so he sacrifices it to come with you to the grocery store at 3:00 in the morning to get that exact same ice cream you asked for before going to sleep.

boyfriend! nagi who loves it when you ramble about your day while massaging hair. "use your nails too baby. love the feelin' of your nails s'much"

boyfriend! nagi who comes with you to see you get your nails done and keeps telling you to get sharper, longer tips cause he loves how it looks on you. "do those long ones you had last week, baby. the ones that feel good when you play with my hair."

boyfriend! nagi who gives you his hoodies to wear before a match. "you can keep this, babe. i have another one anyways."

boyfriend! nagi who loves the good luck kiss you give him before a match and when you wave to him from the stands when during a match.

boyfriend! nagi who loves you so much, that he'll brag to all his friends about you. "yeah, that's my girl. my baby."

this was written for @/garoujo who loves nagi seishiro and blue lock. I barely read 10 chapters of the manga, but I have enough characterization after reading emmie's (@/garoujo) fics. credits to @firefly-graphics for the pretty dividers and @vespersposts who supported me all throughout! you can ask to be tagged through ask or dms.

388 notes - Posted November 28, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #false #this was actually cute!!#bro i wanted to post more #but i've been so busy #i couldnt even breath #let alone write and post smth #i love this tho #its like a spotify wrapped #but tumblr

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deadcactuswalking · 1 year

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My favourite hit song of 2022

I did not make a list of the best or worst hit songs of the year. If I did, you would have read it already but alas, I did not write down my thoughts on my favourite or least favourite hits that 2022 is produced. For what it’s worth, I did draft a list of what those would be, but the worst list is full of boring songs from last year. Why I didn’t do this is largely because I was focused on non-charting new releases in 2022, because they were a Hell of a lot more refreshing, but also because these lists end up slightly redundant when half of them I have probably already covered on REVIEWING THE CHARTS – where I end up reviewing UK hits, broadening my horizons to an extent not really seen in those year-end lists. Also, it felt a bit dishonest. I was listening to, let’s see here, 1990s queercore punk, twee pop, plunderphonics and depressive conscious hip hop the whole year, who am I if I go on tirades about good Justin Bieber was, even if it was a good year quality-wise for pop music? Regardless, it felt weird ending the year on just any other old episode of the chart show, so... what were my favourite hit songs of the year?

Well, going off on the Billboard Year-End Hot 100 and then removing songs that made the 2021 year-end also as I probably would have done, this is what my list, without the #1, looks like.

#10 – “Después de la Playa” – Bad Bunny #9 – “PUFFIN ON ZOOTIEZ” – Future #8 – “Never Say Never” – Cole Swindell and Lainey Wilson #7 – “’Til You Can’t” – Cody Johnson #6 – “All Too Well” (Taylor’s Version) – Taylor Swift #5 – “Something in the Orange” – Zach Bryan #4 – “Ghost” – Justin Bieber #3 – “I Hate U” – SZA #2 – “Running up that Hill (A Deal with God)” – Kate Bush

See why I didn’t write this up now? Since I knew I wasn’t going to, I was able to be more truthful with myself and not my capabilities – half of the list I’d already praised heavily on the weekly series, and let’s be real, I could not do “All Too Well” or Kate Bush justice if I tried. I can talk about my #1 though, surely. That #1 represents the year, right? It’s the song you think defines the year of pop music and gives you a lot to talk about... right? Well, actually, not really. The song that most defined this year in pop music is probably “Big Energy” by Latto, which goes to show how genuinely terrible 2022 could seem in terms of its trends. And as for giving me a lot to talk about, I don’t know – I’ve never tried. I listened to it out of curiosity in the early Summer and ever since then, I never even registered it as a hit. It just... meant something more, and I’ve never tried to tap into that. However, there’s no better time than the present, so I suppose I should try. My favourite hit song of 2022 was “PROVENZA” by KAROL G, and I’m going to find out why.

#1 – “PROVENZA” – KAROL G

I’m not a KAROL G fan. I’ve heard her hits this year and one of her albums, and I found all of her music incredibly charming and oddly whimsical but I can’t say I’m a big fan because I simply haven’t heard enough. I’m not a fan of any of the artists on my list except maybe SZA and even then, I still haven’t heard SOS. So since blind fandom is out of the question, what elements of a song matter in terms of an individual opinion? Well, that’s a ridiculous question with like a morbillion answers but let’s try and find some basic answers.

We can kind of push genre to the wayside but it is relevant to one of the main reasons people like music, although interestingly not one people pointed out to me: lyrics and songwriting. It’s safe to say that I don’t speak Spanish, and I know very little music theory. I did GCSE Spanish for literally a month. I’ve listened to this song many a time in the past year – though not as much as many others, we’ll get to that – and really, the only words I could ever decipher were “baby” and what I thought was “tempo” (it’s not), as well as the song title and producer Ovy on the Drums’ tag in the outro. I never looked at the lyrics, and I almost don’t want to. I’m sure that translating the lyrics would do me a load of good in understanding the song, but I gravitated to this song without understanding the lyrics and I’ve constructed some kind of narrative in terms of my relationship with the song: it’s pure comfort for me, thanks to the production, and I kept on coming back to it to feel that comfort in a year which was not particularly willing to grant me it, even if it granted me a bit more stability than the last year. This song to me encapsulated that because of how constant it feels. I’m not sure if I’d want to translate the lyrics and threaten my relationship with the song, especially since I rarely get all that emotionally connected to media, music in particular. It seems like ruining a good thing, and considering the year before and the year ahead, at least for me personality, 2022 seems like a bubble that I don’t particularly want to pop.

Speaking of things that don’t pop, let’s talk about the production and vocals, since that is what is in the file of the song itself, not all these contrived connections that are just my transposed personal issues, I’m sure. If I didn’t care so much about this song, which is a development that took months after its release in April of this year, I still think I’d like it a lot, which is kind of unusual for reggaeton (though this is closer to dancehall, really). I love the tropical sound effects, the water splashing over the simple lead melody which occasionally gets drowned out by the percussion, feeling like pebbles washed over by the sea and snaps that may as well be crabs nipping at your feet. I’m not even a person who likes beaches particularly, or really has any wish to go to some beach in Latin America, but I’d imagine this is what it sounds like, Bad Bunny ad-libs included. I don’t know if that really is Bad Bunny but it sounds just like him, and his little echoed shouts as well as his harmonised, Auto-Tune-drenched backing vocals feel like the most “tense” elements of this song opposite KAROL’s second verse. In fact, there is an odd tension to this song. It’s a typical pop song length but in part due to those strings as well as the drums finding a way to seep in and out, it feels a lot shorter and occupies a space that is strictly temporary. Hell, it even fades out by the end, which is something I usually find cheap. This even weasels its way into the songwriting: KAROL G’s performance, whilst mostly spectacular, is still a bit slippery, emphasised even more by the Auto-Tune and the really fast-paced second verse, as well as the fact that half of the final chorus eschews the percussion entirely because it – for the only time in the song – gains some velocity and comes in for the attack.

That theme of being temporary makes it even more special: it’s trying to get the best out of everything whilst you have it all, and for 2022, that’s really what defined my year. Sure, you can press replay on the song constantly, but that’s not what I did, really: according to Spotify Wrapped, there are 54 songs I listened to much more. What I did was come back to it when I just wanted something easy. It was a breeze of comfort that I absolutely acknowledge was temporary as I’d probably get back to listening to angry lesbian punk rock soon after... but for a time, the sky is clear and blue, your feet are on the sand, and everything’s okay for now.

Here’s to a good 2023. Thank you for reading, and I’ll see you on Friday for REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

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nopethatsnotembarrassing · 1 year

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I posted 11,718 times in 2022

That's 1,530 more posts than 2021!

79 posts created (1%)

11,639 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@cheekyquokka

@wooferdill

@chanstopher

@userhobi

@emery-night

I tagged 9,296 of my posts in 2022

Only 21% of my posts had no tags

#bang chan - 1,271 posts

#ranboo - 936 posts

#han jisung - 914 posts

#lee know - 755 posts

#minho - 722 posts

#seo changbin - 696 posts

#stray kids - 667 posts

#min yoongi - 627 posts

#suga - 579 posts

#tubbo - 545 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#or ''best case'' scenario for them was probably that the chat sees it but he didn’t so it consumes the chat and confuses him on how we know

My Top Posts in 2022:

He was talking about the difference of AR and Live AR and I heard him reference Zone so I immediately clipped it while he was live and I think he demonstrated the meanings very well for people to understand!

8 notes - Posted November 7, 2022

Okay so in my catching up on the Dream SMP, I've been mostly sticking to the cardd list that was linked to me when I asked about how to catch up (with some supplementary Vods/videos from Ranboo, Tubbo, and Techno when I can figure out the timing of them)

And I just got to Tommy speaking to Dreams sister the second time and the whole video is funny enough that I'm smiling through the while thing but then Techno gets involved and is trying to help.

And then I got to the part where they listen to Pigstep.

And I got absolutely taken out by:

"I basically just realized this is basically the most powerful thing on the server, since it means you get copyrighted. I'm gonna steal it now."

*Tommy hits the disc out of the player and it flies into Technoblade*

"FUUUCCCKK!!"

See the full post

9 notes - Posted January 14, 2022

See the full post

16 notes - Posted October 19, 2022

I was gonna wait a little bit longer to say what I've been doing but the new comeback trailer released and I'm just so excited for it I couldn't help myself

I've been drawing the SKZoo characters in their different music video outfits! (It's transparent btw)

As long as it's not against any copyright I kinda wanna make them into stickers (if that's something anyone else would be interested in?)

44 notes - Posted September 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Okay so I just got to the part where Dream builds a wall around L'Manburg cause George's house got griefed

And I know its all written and acted out but I really love that Tommy's character never once sold out Ranboo. I mean he mentions that he was with him but when it comes down to it he confesses that it was just him that did it. And even when Tubbo asks 1 on 1 if Ranboo helped at All, Tommy said no.

The only other person we have really seen that level of care for from him was for Tubbo who he's known basically his entire life.

So your telling me this kid got so attached to the kid who couldn't remember (without really knowing the extent of his short term memory issues) that he didn't want to see him hurt since he just went along with it.

For someone who I've typically seen described as careless it seems that he does care quite a bit about the people around him.

71 notes - Posted January 6, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #oof what a strange year #I posted more original posts then I thought I did so thats neat i guess??#mostly only did this to see my most reblogged people and used tags.#also I have no recollection of what that long tag was about but it is not the only long one I have used I regularly hit the character limit #skipping queue #lmao also clicking on the tag pulls up nothing so that works as per usual

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olderthannetfic · 2 years

Note

this is a genuine question. i am fully in favor of ao3 and the discourse around it makes my head hurt. but the argument that ao3 should add a warning for racism always felt like a good one to me. as much as i love the site and think antis are stupid thats the one point they have that I've never found a single good argument against, i feel like we should agree with them on that one honestly 😭

Part of the disagreement has to do with how warnings actually work vs. how people imagine they work.

How AO3 "archive warnings" are often seen:

Top most important warnings that we absolutely have to have for trigger reasons. These are the things we think are most serious.

What AO3 archive warnings actually are:

A short list of things that are very common, yes, but more important, that are highly enforceable. That's why 'dubcon', which is almost as requested as 'noncon' is not an archive warning but only an additional tag.

Archive warning = the abuse committee fields cases involving this tag, not "this is the most important warning".

However, I do agree that site structure shows our values. I have mixed feelings about adding this warning as a PR thing.

What the warning is supposed to do:

Racists often don't know they're racist and/or are malicious, so they won't add it themselves, but other fans can report a racist fic, and the Abuse committee will add the warning.

What will actually happen:

A lot of people will grudge-report each other's fics. The Abuse committee, which has been chronically understaffed for the entirety of AO3's history will get so backed up they take a year to rule on cases. Either a bunch of POC are forced to look at racism all day for no pay, or a bunch of white people are ruling on cases, also for no pay.

Most cases will be Klance fans reporting Sheith fics for existing, or the equivalent.

Many cases will be reporting POC who are exploring issues highly personal to them and either disagree with the reporter on the uses of art or who just aren't very good writers and failed at what they were attempting to convey. Nonwhite fans and fics centering nonwhite characters will be held to a higher standard, while fics about two white guys that ignore that nonwhite people even exist will get a pass unless they use slurs or something.

Now, I'm sure people will assume that's a strawman, but as someone who many years ago helmed the Abuse committee and who has lived through decades of fandom wank, I can tell you that any rule where you can report people to site management will be misused constantly, egregiously, and viciously.

AO3 has enough trouble handling harassment cases right now. Adding a whole other set of content policing, especially content policing that is relatively more ambiguous and that requires more cultural knowledge than "Does this story contain major character death" is a mess from a logistical standpoint. If and when OTW can pay its Abuse staffers and have like 10x the number they have now, I may feel differently. We are not close to that day.

CNTW:

The other problem is that unless this warning functions radically differently from how AO3 does now, people will just use CNTW as an ass-covering measure. If it is exempted from CNTW, that creates a whole other set of issues in terms of confidence in the archive living up to its mission.

Basically, in the form this warning is likely to take, it won't actually serve to label racist fic or make it more avoidable, so adding it would be a PR move.

Pros to adding it as a PR thing:

It would mean OTW taking a public anti-racist stance.

Cons to adding it as a PR thing:

Did you actually appreciate all those corporations with their hollow BLM emails and tweets? It was a bunch of hot air with zero useful action. One fear I've seen expressed is that OTW could add this warning and decide they'd done their part and stop there.

There are some fears that adding this tag would have a chilling effect on the participation of non-US fans, nonnative speakers of English, and fans writing nonwhite characters in general. How valid these fears are is debatable.

Regardless, there are tangible anti-racist actions OTW can take that will be far more useful, and they are taking them. These consist of building blocking features so that fans can avoid content or people they don't want to interact with.

Many people would like OTW to keep focusing on those features and not waste time on this largely symbolic gesture.

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thepeakygirl · 2 years

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Addressing this because I’m so tired of Lizzie hate filling up her tag.

Let’s start with the whole Tommy doesn’t love Lizzie, fair enough he doesn’t love her as he did Grace he never will but to say there isn’t a love there is wrong. There is a love, a different love. Us Lizzie fans don’t ship Tommy and Lizzie because we’re delusional into thinking he loves her romantically. We ship them because we support Lizzie and know her to be the better woman.

Also saying they have no emotional connection at all, like huh? Of course there’s an emotional connection you can see it through their touch and words. Fucking someone isn’t the only way to show affections, it used to be for them but things have shifted. They’re in a much better place in series 6 than they were 5. Tommy wants to be home with her and the kids, he wants to be presents. He wants to get the business done so they can go away together and get out.

‘Some nights it was you who stopped my heart from breaking’

That right there is evidence of emotional connection. Tommy leaned on her as a crutch to hold him up in that time, no one else. If he didn’t want her around he would of gotten rid of her 15 years ago. Why is it that Lizzie was the one he depended on after Grace’s death? It wasn’t just fucking either. He was doing that with Tatiana and she didn’t help because guess what? He had no emotional connection with Tatiana.

Lizzie had Ruby, Tommy married her because of it. He didn’t have to move her in though and play happy families. Many MP’s back then and even now have woman up and down the country with houses filled with their children.

Some MP’s freely lived with their mistresses while their wives were tucked away in the countryside. That could of been Lizzie but no Tommy brought her into Arrow House. He’s let her raise Charlie as her own, allowing him to call her Mum. Tommy wouldn’t of allowed just anyone to do this after all Grace is Charlie’s Mum. Tommy has maids and could afford a governess to raise Charlie but no Lizzie has been the one helping to raise him since Grace died.

She could of left but she didn’t. Again she could of left but Tommy wouldn’t have allowed it. Why are we believing that he would?

The girl couldn’t even have boyfriends! And it’s not because Angel was Italian. I’m tired of Lizzie hate being thrusted down my throat yet to retaliate makes me the one in the wrong.

He cares for Lizzie on his own selfish terms perhaps even loves her in his own selfishness but he’s not in love with her, we know this! He views her as ‘property’ yet unconsciously seeks her out for support on many occasions. That shows me that she is more than he says.

He doesn’t open up about the business with Lizzie since they married yet he didn’t with Grace either until confronted. Even at the foundation dinner Grace was unaware of who was on the list, the trouble with Father Hughes and his threat to Charlie, the list can go on. He does this out of care, not to worry the women yet with Lizzie it’s just seen as him not wanting to speak to her.

‘In my head I still pay you for it’

Hurting her with words because she had hurt him with hers, of course we never got to read the letters but she wrote about leaving him. It narked Tommy off. Tommy could of agreed to a divorce there and then but he didn’t.

Tommy sleeps around? Tommy’s seems to sleep around with any woman he’s with, it’s basically in the Shelby blood for them to be unfaithful. Him and Grace were married a few weeks maybe even a month before she died. We don’t even know how their relationship would have turned out.

Now their child has died, both are grieving differently. Tommy is distant from Charlie, not only Lizzie. Both need his comfort but Tommy has shut himself away because that’s what Tommy does. He went to comfort her after their argument and it was Lizzie who pushed him away, well slapped him away.

We’re not wrong to want Tommy to love Lizzie as she deserves and we’re certainly not delusional! Just because we don’t ship Tommy and Grace doesn’t make us less than. Unlike many others I would never try to diminish Grace’s importance to make Lizzie’s appear greater. We don’t support Tommy’s treatment of Lizzie at certain times so this whole ‘you’re toxic because you support what he does to her’ is bullshit! If Lizzie leaves him we’d also be happy, she deserves far greater than Tommy and if he sleeps with Diana Lizzie can fuck him off happily. I hope she takes Charlie too.

Grace represented who Tommy wished to be. Lizzie represents who he is but now as he ‘changes’ who knows what will happen. Like I said Lizzie has been around for 15 years, if he wanted her gone she would of been gone 🤷🏻‍♀️ You can have more than one love in your life and every love is different! I could go on and on about this but I’ll calm myself now, rant over.

#peaky blinders #thomas shelby #tommy shelby #the peaky blinders #peaky blinder #lizzie shelby #lizzie stark #bbc peaky blinders #tommy x lizzie #thomas x lizzie #peaky blinders s6 spoilers #peaky blinders s6 #peaky fookin blinders

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negans-lucille-tblr · 2 years

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N-L-Threenager Blogiversary Writing Challenge

I can’t believe this blog - that I set up with 0 intentions of ever actually using - is now 3 years old. Where has the time gone? My baby is all grown up :( In three years this little blog with its filthy and morally questionable stories has gathered nearly 8.5K followers and made me some of the best friendships I’ll cherish for the rest of my life.

As I very well know (having a real baby only a month older than this blog) three year olds are no joke. The term “Threenager” really doesn’t come from nowhere. Which got me thinking about my celebration…

What are teenagers? Moody, irritable, angsty. Yes, that’s right, this challenge is all about breaking my heart, making me mad, making me wanna throw something across the room (Maybe not my child or laptop, though).

Below the cut is more info, including a way for reader's to celebrate too!

Below I have listed some of my favourite angsty lyrics, and I’d love for you guys to create a story (2K per part/chapter limit - no chapter limit) inspired by a lyric of your choosing. The deadline will be 17th Feb, 2023 (the day before my blog’s fourth birthday). You can write for any of the characters/actors I write for myself. Not sure if the one you pick is acceptable? Just hit me up.

Dark is fine! The only things I don’t read are: pregnancy/pregnancy related smut, underage (incl age play), snuff, toilet stuff and beastiality (play included), otherwise run wild. If you do write any of the stuff listed, I won’t read, but I’ll still reblog.

Not a writer? Until 18th March, I will be accepting angsty prompts, where I will write a short blurb for my favourite entries. So why not send me your favourite angsty lyrics? Or pick one of the ones from the list below to see my take on it (just let me know what character you’d like) ❤️

Want to cry along with me? I made a Spotify playlist of all the songs I took lyrics from ❤️

Few basic rules to remember:

You have to be 18+ to be following me/participating

For this challenge, you can write any genre; smut, fluff, dark but your fic/prompt MUST include angst as its main feature

There’s no limit on parts/chapters if you want to write a series, I just ask that chapters/parts are 2K or below, to help me be able to read them (thanks, MaDD 🙃)

Write for any fandom/character on my blog.

Please do not include any smut involving underage characters, and remember my above no nos if you want me to read your story!

Tag me in your fic and use the hashtag #nlthreenager

Message me to let me know what prompt you're picking!

Deadline is 17th Feb 2023

Have fun breaking my heart!

Prompts:

You kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath

I don’t relate to you, ‘cause I’d never treat me this shitty

It must be nice to love someone who puts you first

I gave you my hours and advice just trying to fix you and all your daddy issues

The girl that you want is tearing us apart, because she’s everything I’m not

I might be okay, but I’m not fine at all

You call me up again just to break me like a promise

There’s a girl I know, he loves her so… I’m not that girl

Say I’m your worst mistake, and hell it might be true, but don’t say I didn’t love you

Makeup is expensive, sick of wasting it on exes

I just can’t turn her off and I guess we’ve got that in common

I forget about you long enough to forget why I needed to

Did she make you forget you ever missed me?

My hair is smelling like cigarettes somewhere with somebody I’ll forget, ‘cause I’m scared of sleeping with just the truth

I reached for you, but all I felt was shame

I’m sick of everything I’m doing I think is getting me over you

Tell me I’m a waste of love, tell me that I’m not enough

I was thinking on the drive down, ”any time now, he’s gonna say it’s love” - he never called it what it was

Leave my heart all black and blue ‘cause it ain’t half as bad as what I put you through

Where’s that girl that knows not to put up with that?

He walks out the door like I don’t even exist. What did I do to deserve this?

I hate that because you, I can’t love you

After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own, now you mail back my things and I walk home alone

You would’ve been the one if you were a better man

You can’t deny how hard I tried

Life’s a bitch, and so are you

If they could see the pain you put me in again, maybe then I wouldn’t have to fight no more in this psychological war

You fuck up again and then you blame me, screaming that I’m crazy - maybe I am

You said if we had been closer in age maybe it would’ve been fine, and that made me want to die.

You’re just breaking me not any laws

I miss you lying that you love me

Was that love in your eyes I saw or just the reflection of mine?

In your mind it’s over, because you know that I can’t stay sober

What if every good intention is a curse and not a blessing?

You do make me hard, but she makes me weak

Was it too much to ask for just a part of what I gave you back? Why was I so hard to love?

He only calls you pretty when he puts his hands on your body

Some days I can’t face the world outside

You’re only worth how much you sell

Weeping in a party bathroom some actress asking me “What happened?” You. That’s what happened, you.

The voice in my head really needs some help

When I’m with him I am thinking of you

I didn’t mean to fall out of love with you

I don’t want your body but I hate to think about you with somebody else

Just ‘cause I pick up when you call, don’t mean that I wanna talk

Too sad to cry, too high to get up

We sure looked happy in pictures, the camera doesn't show the way it hurt

Missing you comes in waves, and tonight I’m drowning

My love should be celebrated, but you tolerate it

Did I really fucking love you? Or just the image in my head

#nlthreenager #nlt turns three #blog birthday #blogiversary #angst writing challenge #writing challenge #spn #mcu #twd #the boys #walker #rpf #smut.#fluff #prompts

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scuttle-buttle · 3 years

Text

Chapter 5

WC: 1526

Rated: M

Chapter Tags: angst, mentions of physical congenital defects, name calling, Freud, mention of psychological disorders, mention of disabilities

🧠

Maybe it was naïve of you to hope for an apology from him after the incident in the classroom. He was a dick, after all.

Six weeks into the term and things had not gotten better, but in fact much worse. Every little thing he did drove you up a wall. He would talk to himself out loud about who knows what. He would ask you your thoughts and opinions on the theories he studied, and then try to challenge everything you said. He would make you feel small as he spoke down to you or he would laugh at your ideas. He would ask for help with the dumbest things too, like picking up pens and typing up all his notes. And worst of all, he would just watch you. It probably wasn’t really all that creepy, he didn’t actually give you those vibes, but you felt like a bug under a microscope.

The only time you could tolerate the doctor was when he was giving his lectures. It was like he was a totally different person. Gone was the calculating and stubborn doctor, and in his place stood a thoughtful, passionate, intellectual that tried to see the world from as many facets as possible. He was so incredibly open minded. You'd even seen him crack a smile or two.

You wondered what he might be like if that was his personality all the time. Would the two of you get along better and argue less? Would he think more highly of you, and not just as some dumb assisstant? You doubt it.

“-And then he handed me a stack of notebooks and asked me to type everything up. All his handwritten notes. Like oh my god, get with the times and just type them the first go yourself.” You were set upside down on Bitsy’s bed. This week Kreizler had amped up your workload, so of course you had to vent to your friends.

Feeling the blood pool in your head you roll over and sit up with a huff. “He’s just so strange… and he’s left handed but to the extreme. I don’t think I’ve seen him use his right hand once the entire time we’ve worked together. Like how odd is that?”

“Maybe he’s got OCD or something?” Margo, your mutual friend suggests.

You contemplate what she said. Perhaps he did have something else going on? The more you think about it the more you realize he really didn’t ever use his right hand; when he asked for your assistance it was always for a two-handed job. Perhaps… You are broken out of your trance when Bitsy interjects.

“You need to either find a new hobby to distract yourself or you need to hate-fuck the guy already.” She doesn’t look up from her phone.

Her comment catches you so off guard you choke on your own spit. Margo pats your back as you overcome the coughing fit. “Bitsy what the actual fuck?” She just gives you a ‘what?’ look. Clearly she’s grown two heads to even consider suggesting that to you.

“It’s not so crazy. You like older guys, you said it yourself that he’s smart and he’s cute. Maybe this is what you both need. Get out some frustration.” She tosses her phone to the bed. “And to be honest I’d like to be able to talk to you about literally anything other than how much you can’t stand the ‘good doctor dickwad’.”

Your mouth is gaping at her in your shock. Her words settle in you like a bag of rocks. “Oh my god I really do talk about him that much don't I?” Shame and embarrassment wash over you as you realize that yes, the majority of your day is spent complaining about Kreizler. “I’m sorry guys, I’ll make an effort to tone it down.”

“It’ll probably help with the stress too if you stop,” Margo adds.

“That and getting dicked down - how long has it been for you?”

“Yeah no,” you get off the bed and walk out of the room, “I’m not answering that.”

“Too long then!” Bitsy calls after you with a laugh.

He really thought he had been doing better with you. He couldn’t say you were his favorite person by any means, but you were proficient at your job and the tasks he gave you. A hard worker. He tried to engage in friendly conversation or to talk about the lessons he was planning with you. As little as you had actually studied psychology he found your insights to be most interesting and enlightening. He actually enjoyed it.

You, on the other hand, apparently did not.

Today was going the usual route - he attempted to engage you in discourse; you were determined to defend and fight your way out of it. Oddly enough, for as much as you loathed talking with him you were always giving him your opinion on things.

“How could you be so base to believe that? We are all individuals with our own wants, needs, and desires, sure, but to only be subject to that? To have no freedom or choice in anything we do or say? It’s ridiculous.” You sat with your arms across your chest, a sneer on your face as you argued with him.

His face remains calm through your tirade. He himself took Freud’s work with a grain of salt, but he was interested in your reaction to his questioning. So he pushed you. “And yet you sit here now with the most basic principle being exhibited - the presence of Freud’s Id hard at work - as you become frustrated and angered by my words. Is that in itself not the desire to let anger take control? Acting without fear of consequence? To be exactly what you now claim is ridiculous?”

You scoff. “No, Doctor, because I’ve chosen to not put up with the bullshit. I choose of my own free will.”

“But what is free will, if not chained to our deepest desires and fears? Us acting on the primal needs within us so out of our control? You have no choice in the matter, only impulse. Nothing you choose matters, you are inconsequential.” Laszlo found that he liked to rile you up. You were more forthcoming in your ideas and defenses; a worthy partner to discuss psychological theory with. But today he had pushed you too far.

By this point you had had enough. His constant instagation had driven you to the end of your rope. In reality it probably wasn’t that bad, and you really weren’t that confrontational of a person. But god, with him you just couldn’t seem to hold yourself back. He drove you up the wall.

“Is that what you want? To study me like your little project, seeing how you can get me to crack? Your own personal basket case to psychoanalyze? What - does that get you off at night or something?” You don’t even care that he’s your boss anymore or how inappropriate your suggestion is. If he can push and push and push without regard to what is considered socially allowed then you’d be damned if you didn’t too.

His face is merely curious, a hint of a smirk on it, as you all but yell at him from your desk. He sits back, a pen in his left hand, his right resting atop the desk. You notice his right thumb twitch.

“What’s wrong with your arm?” blurts from your scowled mouth. You don’t know why you ask. Maybe his idea about being chained to our deepest curiosities, no matter how questionable, had some weight behind it.

"I beg your pardon?" His eyes change the second the question slips from your lips. No longer is he eying you with amusement, but he looks as if he might snap at any second. His face is hard, you can see his jaw clenched under the full beard he sports.

At his reaction you know that you screwed up. You never should have said anything at all. Sure he could be as rude as the day is long, but he wasn’t necessarily a cruel man. He had little moments where he was genuinely kind to you. He even made you tea once.

“I’m sorry- I…. I don’t know where that came from. It was inappropriate of me and I apologize, Dr. Kreizler.”

The silence that overcomes the room is deafening, so unlike the boisterous discourse that was taking place a moment ago. You turn away hoping to resume your work. You even take a moment to pray to whoever is listening that you didn’t just get yourself fired.

“It was a congenital defect.” You turn back towards him, but he does not meet your eyes. He speaks low again. “My arm never developed correctly so it is weaker and has less function. That is all.” You nod at him, swallowing. The look in his eyes does not match what he tells you. He has the look of someone haunted by their past. It is a look you are all too familiar with yourself. You both finish your work in silence.

Tag list

@hardlyinteresting @lorna-d-m @livvyshmiv @somethingthatsaysbubbles @greeneyedblondie44 @unbeatablecurlgirl @apparrio @marchingicenotes7 @anteroom-of-death @bruhidaniel @lemairepstuff @thehuiabird @zemosimp05 @alindeluce @iamnotthecatladynextdoor

#the interpretation of dreams #laszlo kreizler x reader #laszlo x reader #laszlo kreizler #the alienist #the alienist angel of darkness #daniel bruhl laszlo kreizler #daniel brühl #daniel bruhl #scuttle-buttle

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chidoroki · 3 years

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Isabella - 73584

I had a serious debate with myself over whether or not I wanted to sit down and spend my weekend writing another one of these praise posts. I was content with just doing one for each of the Fullscore Trio kids and ending it there.. but apparently I love this woman too much to just ignore her on her birthday. So here were are on September 9th with a list of all her best and my personal favorite moments as to why I believe she’s such a great character, antagonist and mother (yeah you heard me right). Considering she only shows up in the beginning and very end of the story, this post ended up longer than I originally anticipated, which just goes to show how many thoughts I really have about this woman. (for real, this rivals Ray’s post in terms of points but there’s far more words)

Since she also has some backstory and certain events differ between manga and anime (thanks to the second season), I’ll try to go in chronological order between both timelines instead of chapter by chapter, which might be a bit confusing as we’ll jump around the story a lot but just to bear with me as I try to makes sense of it all.

(spoilers for the entirety of The Promised Neverland & ch181.7, so if you haven’t read/completed the manga yet, consider this your first warning, because I’m literally going from start to finish with this one last time. I promise.)

- I’m not sure how well she compares to Emma when it comes to athleticism, but Isabella seemed to have no trouble climbing up and down trees when she was younger.

- Not only that, but she managed to scale the wall by herself using a method that requires a fairly impressive jump. It’s also implied that this is how she climbs the wall again so many years later when chasing the soon-to-be escapees, which helps prove that even at an older age, she hasn’t lost her touch.

- Was chosen to undergo training to become a Mom, which required high test scores and the current mother’s recommendation. She accepted the offer in order to keep living and survive as human the demons couldn’t eat.

- Based on Sienna’s comment, is it fair to say Isabella is on par with the full score trio? I mean, the woman is basically flawless.

- She was practically untouchable during her time at headquarters while training too apparently. Mom positions are scarce so the environment where these ladies fight (physically/mentally/emotionally) to even snag that job is highly competitive, and yet Isabella never let anyone deter her from her goal of becoming a Mom, which probably led to the “Iron Lady” nickname she received now that I think about it.

- She was the youngest ever to be granted the Mom position at..what, 19? 20? Somewhere around there, but impressive nonetheless considering they’re forced to have a child, build up a strong, emotionless exterior and endure so much fear. (but my goodness, the woman doesn’t age at all. she looks just as good when the story actually starts as she did her when she was a bit younger)

- It became common knowledge among the Sisters that she was also very successful in the way she raised her children.

- Her success greatly benefited the farm, as she offered up countless high quality goods, which sounds terrible, I know, but believe me when I say she gave her best effort for her children. Even though she held the Mom position, the amount of power she actually had in this system was pretty minimal, especially with how much she valued her own life. She couldn’t afford to make any mistakes or risky changes, so she settled with doing the most with what she was capable of. She provided her children with a normal lifestyle, not only to keep up the orphanage facade, but knowing that their lives would all be cut shorter than they anticipate. She gave them love in hopes that no one would ever have to feel the dread she felt after Leslie’s death and/or finding out the truth. She tried to delay that horrific fate by encouraging them to learn all they can (like teaching the trio about strategy and chess) so they could achieve higher tests scores and (unknowingly to them) add a couple more months or years onto their lives. Yes it was her job to raise these children to such high standards but she excelled at it for their sake too.

- And I know y’all will just throw Ray in my face like, “oh but he was her actual child and she treated him horribly/different.” Okay but deep down I don’t think she actually wanted to? When they both realized they were truly mother and son, Isabella couldn’t just dote on him and start treating him as such. I’m sure Ray wasn’t too fond of Isabella at this point in his life either, knowing that she sent several of his siblings away to get killed. They probably would’ve gotten along just fine in a perfect world, but since they were both aware of the hell they’re trapped living in, they emotionally distanced themselves and formed a business-like relationship as a result of Ray’s deal, which benefited them both in different ways. For Ray, it was more practical, with the obvious notion of living as long as possible along with obtaining various rewards and knowledge of the outside world. For Isabella, it helped emotionally by simply just ignoring their true relation. I believe if she clung to that realization, it would break the orphanage illusion and eventually wear down her “Iron Lady” exterior that she relies so heavily on.

- Like can you imagine how much you would have to harden your heart in order to quite literally walk children to their death every couple months for years on end and just move on like it’s completely normal? Now imagine how earth shattering it must be to think about doing the same to your actual child. All those years spent perfecting a fake smile and emotionless exterior like she was trained to have and her son shatters it in an instant. She becomes completely terrified about how he’s actually alive and in front of her right now and there’s nothing she can do to truly save him.. and yet she still recovers so damn quickly I can’t even comprehend it! But there’s still some sadness in those eyes. You can’t tell me otherwise. That one moment of weakness speaks volumes to me.

- So now with her general backstory FINALLY out of the way, we can finally start with ch01/ep01 and how her laugh is sweet and innocent. I say that because (all hidden emotions and motives aside) that’s exactly how she’s supposed to sound in this moment, not only to us but to the children as well.

- She of course checks Emma’s tracker a moment later but other than that I still think it’s a pretty genuine moment between the two.

- As previously stated, her ability to raise high quality children is unmatched, which is clear as day thanks to the fullscore trio.

- Despite their crazy level of intelligence, the trio has yet to win a simple game of chess against Isabella, even when teamed up.

- She treasures everything about the kids.

- She really cares about them, even when it’s time to send them off with a smile, which we know is thanks to her strong facade.

- But mother dearest isn’t really fine. She doesn’t like walking kids to their death, especially so young. But she can’t let them (or even herself) know that. She can’t show weakness, so she hums Leslie’s song, which is a tool she’s used for years in order to give herself strength.

- Don’t worry, I disliked her this moment happened too, just as the story intended. And here’s where her fantastic antagonist role begins for all the world to see.

- A true champ at jump scares.

- Acts completely calm the night after a couple of kids found out the secret of the farm.

- She uses the tracker in plain sight, sending whomever went to the gate last night a threatening but silent message.

- Correct Norman, that’s the “Iron Lady” for ya. Also the name of ch03 for us. Well, “The Iron Woman” but same difference.

- She switches from calculating and manipulative breeder to sweet and pleasant mother so quickly and effortlessly it’s incredible. Isabella even checked Emma’s pulse in this scene to see if she was acting normal.

- At this point she still had no idea who went to the gate (Ray didn’t tip her off yet, at least I don’t think so) but her guess couldn’t have been more precise. The level of fear she drives into both Emma and Norman was great too, but then again her presence is enough in any scene to give us chills.

- Notices her watchdog isn’t at his usual post and starts to get suspicious.

- Not only of him, Emma and Norman, but Don and Gilda as well, thus giving the five extra chores to finish in an attempt to slow down any escape planning, such as cleaning vacant rooms, organizing the pantry and inspecting spare linen.

- While the trio believes Isabella was being too soft and patient in finding her targets, she effectively catches them off guard by bringing in Krone for assistance. The trio soon realize they were actually preparing the sister’s new room and those mundane chores were just an excuse to buy time.

- Look at her, all smug. Checkmate indeed. (and totally not important, but her eyes are such pretty shades of purple)

- The sass and her no nonsense attitude.

- Immediately puts Krone in her place the moment she even thinks about shipping out the targets. Of course holding off on shipping the targets would benefit the farm, as it would produce higher quality merchandise as time passes, but plant 3 is run by Isabella and she’ll be damned if an assistant thinks they could waltz right in and decide her children’s fate.

- She check’s Emma tracker again despite her claim of knowing exactly who the targets might be. You can never be too careful.

- Her precious children managed to win a game of tag against Krone, which is still impressive considering the kind of training the sister has gone through, so kudos to her teachings.

- Knows right away that Krone was trying to take advantage, which allows Krone to realize that the opening she had to learn more about the children was all planned by Isabella herself. Her intimidating nature is enough to scare adults too.

- Reveals that Krone was mostly summoned in order to keep Ray in check after his failure.

- Despite the trust issue, Isabella still keeps up her end of the deal by requesting the items Ray asked for, thanks to the odd perks she had under Grandma Sarah which allowed her to order goods that weren’t on the supply list.

- This hug between her and Phil is just too cute not to mention.

- I imagine she makes this comment because she knows exactly how long a rope must be based off her own almost-escape.

- It’s just something about how this scene is framed alongside this dialogue that makes me think “oh, like mother, like son.”

- I blame her very thoughtful planning for my first big freak out when I watched season 1 blind, like ma’am that’s my favorite boy, please don’t.

- She conspires with Grandma Sarah in order to get rid of Krone for good, which renders the evidence sister just found out about the children’s escape completely useless. Sarah believes there might be some truth to it, but ultimately ignores it and puts her faith in Isabella’s ability of controlling the children & the situation.

- She then cuts Ray off and ends their six-year long deal, opting to control the situation herself from now on. Also, how she wanted to keep him around until the very end is kinda bittersweet. Does she mean as merchandise? Or because she wanted him to live as long as possible? Ah such a tricky little comment.

- She also tosses him across the room like a rag doll.

- Thank god for this panel existing and actually being adapted into the anime so I could hear it because I had absolutely no memory of her laughing in this moment.

- “She says it so nonchalantly,” Norman said once upon a time, and it’s still so frightening.

- As insane as her ideals seem given the circumstances, nothing she says here is really a lie.

- She has the strength to quite literally break a leg and that cracking noise still haunts me to this day.

- It wasn’t even a spur of the moment thing either. Isabella came fully prepared with bandages to fix up any injury she was willing to inflict and that thought alone is terrifying.

- Not only that, but she broke it so cleanly that Emma’s leg does indeed heal perfectly in the exact time frame she estimates. This entire moment is so unfairly impressive, like ma’am how dare you do this to Emma of all people.. like why couldn’t you at least use that kind of force to snap Peter’s neck instead or something?

- To make matters worse, she then reveals Norman’s shipment date. And it’s the following day, which sends the kids into a very understandable panic.

- Needless to say, November 2nd, 2045 was a very successful day in the life of Isabella. Woman was putting everyone in checkmate in ep08 and my anger on full blast.

- This sly smile she sends Ray’s way after announcing Norman’s shipment to the younger kids is so cruel.. it’s perfect.

- I can only imagine she asked about Ray’s whereabouts because she knew the boys were close friends and she hoped they would at least say goodbye to one another, but that’s just me.

- Puts an end to Norman’s parting words in such a simple and chilling matter.

- The way she just openly threatens Emma with others just out of earshot.

- Norman out here asking the real questions. If anything, I say she’s more “content” rather than happy. I don’t think she’s ever really thought about her own happiness, at least not often enough, hence the slight pause. This entire time she’s been focusing on how to make her children’s lives perfect, but for herself she just wants to survive in this hellish world they’re all living in.

- I’m honestly still not sure who’s final decision it is to send people to Lambda, either Isabella, Peter or someone else (honestly never bothered to check), but whether or not Isabella had any say in the matter, I’m sure she’s at least a little glad that Norman gets to live a bit longer? Perhaps that’s a stretch, but I’m putting the idea here anyway.

- I say this because I believe that’s part of the reason why she offered Emma a Mom recommendation, not only because our girl’s high test scores, but in hopes that she could live a longer life.

- Although she really stresses in an intimidation fashion how pointless Emma’s efforts are now that Norman’s “dead,” the cliff remains a major hazard and her leg is still bandaged up, Isabella still tries so hard to convince her to give up, like Ray has, in order for Emma to end her own suffering. It was the first instance during my blind watch-through were I started to get the hint that Isabella might actually care about her kids, and of course I know now it’s because she didn’t want Emma to experience the same pain she did after Leslie’s death.

- With Emma and Ray both broken, things went by rather smoothly for Isabella those last two months, though she continued to keep a close eye on them.

- Her humming is so soothing. And why it took me this long to bring up “Isabella’s Lullaby” is beyond me, but oh my god, that song and any other soundtrack that uses its melody is absolute perfection.

- Had enough sense to not let her guard down the final night, even though her efforts were ultimately unsuccessful, but the idea counts.

- Though her caretaker side is focused on more during the fire, some motherly instincts do kick in as she instructs Gilda to get the babies from her room and lead everyone outside to safety. She was also concerned for Emma’s well being, hoping all the smoke didn’t get to her when the girl vanished. (i know you can argue “she’s only worried because they’re merchandise” which is fair but c’mon, i swear she’s not completely heartless)

- Took a hot minute (ahha) but Isabella eventually realized that the kids were actually escaping solely based on what they were wearing on their feet. I’m sure Emma’s discarded left ear was a big tip off too but to come to that conclusion by noticing the shoes they had on during all that chaos is surprising.

- She looks completely insane here but I always thought this shot of her was nicely animated with all the fire (or embers? sparks? whatever they are) flying around. The laugh she does before this is also a nice bonus. Oh, and she somehow managed to secure a radio from the room Don had locked.

- Figured the fifteen kids would head towards the bridge and called in headquarters to block it off.

- But when the children didn’t appear at the bridge, she just happened to know exactly where else they might try to cross the cliff.

- In the anime’s case, Isabella climbed the wall and ran there quick enough to engage in a stare down with Emma before she finally slid down.

- The moment I knew I was doomed.

- After the 15 kids successfully escaped, Isabella admits defeat, for she couldn’t really see how much her children have grown to outsmart her.

- This iconic quote, which conveys so much truth and sincerity. There were multiple occasions where she had to distance and restrain herself due to the system that controlled her, but the love she was able to show the children was genuine. If she wasn’t held back by the strict rules enforced by Mom position, I don’t doubt she would’ve treated Ray better or became far more emotional whenever a child had to leave for good or seriously injured, instead of donning a fake smile and being closed off.

- She realizes with this unspeakable loss in merchandise, the reputation she worked so hard to build up is meaningless now and that the farm no longer has any use for such an incompetent caretaker. She figures she’s as good as dead anyway now, so she wastes no time in actually helping the escapees by reclaiming the ropes to hide their exact method and route of escape, if only to grant the kids some extra time before the pursuers really locate them.

- She doesn’t act bitter as a result of her loss, instead choosing to wish the escapees luck with the future they grasped for themselves and care for the children that were left behind.

- She’s just so pretty y’all. Thank you anime.

- She was named “Best Antagonist” (and rightfully so!) back during the 2020 Crunchyroll Anime Awards, winning over Askeladd (Vinland Saga), Overhaul, (My Hero Academia), Garoua (One Punch Man,) & others.

(Post-season 1 spoilers ahead, even though the anime is completely finished at this point, but will be touching upon her special chapter more as well.)

- Completely owns up to her mistakes that caused the farm a massive loss in profitable goods and is ready to received whatever punishment necessary, which she expects to be death.

- Only.. she’s not being killed, she’s actually being promoted to Grandma. Though Isabella was directly responsible for the children’s escape, the blame ultimately falls on Sarah who couldn’t correctly control Isabella, thus leading the old lady to be shipped out in place of the goods Isabella lost.

- Peter also notes that the farm found more worth in Isabella than Sarah, so her past merits also played a part in sparing her life, as having a woman like Isabella in charge would surely produce the level of quality the farm needs.

- Isabella eventually accepts the promotion, though she can’t help but feel hesitant and shocked about the whole deal. This woman was ready to embrace death and finally be free from this cruel world, but now she has to witness not only more kids being shipped off, but moms and sisters in training as well (yay old chapter reviews coming in clutch).

- She could have very well just refused Peter’s offer, but we all know how much Isabella originally wanted to survive, so she doesn’t just accept because this man dangled a sense of freedom in her face, she also agreed so she could have the opportunity to help her children in any way her newfound power would allow her.

- Of course, her transition to Grandma happens a bit differently in the second season, but I will give some bittersweet thanks to the anime once more for the obvious but curse them for also having this entire scene dark as hell. Let me see her beauty darn it! I can only fix the lighting so much until it looks overexposed and bad again.

Anyways, Sarah is still alive at this point and taunts Isabella with the escapee’s lives just to see how she would react, which gave her a small sense of hope. Then some demons pay a visit later on and also ask if she would want to see the children one last time, but Isabella tells them that not only would she be too ashamed to face them but that they would manage to survive Grandma’s capture plan, which involved several men blowing up their shelter. It’s now clear to the demons that these children are special, and while Isabella agrees, it’s not for the same reason the demons think so. The demons believe the kids are special because of how they were raised to such a high quality. Isabella calls them special simply because they’re her children, just as any mother would.

- In the anime, it’s the demons who offer Isabella the Grandma deal if Sarah’s current plan were to fail (which it does) and she takes it and the freedom from Grace Field House without question. Do I still believe she had similar intentions to help out the children like she did in manga at this point? Of course.

- Not even a full month into her new job did she start preparing to help Emma & the others by considering who from the current Sisters she wanted to recruit to personally assist her destroy the farm entirely.

- A month later and Isabella had already decreased the number of shipments that took place at Grace Field, which obviously helps raise the quality of the children by default, but it also means less death and gives those kids a chance to live longer.

- She completely anticipated that Matilda, Jessica, Sienna & Scarlet were conspiring against her and caught them quite easily, as they were among the top scorers.

- Each had a fair chance at becoming Moms but with those positions limited, it was obvious to figure out they were trying to force Isabella’s seat open by creating some suspicious activity to place on her almost perfect record. Unfortunately for the girls, our new Grandma is too smart for her own good and I love it.

- The four women are apprehensive to join her insane plan to go against the farm, but Isabella assures them there’s no freedom if they follow the system’s rules and betray her. The harsh reality they’re all living in will continue unless they stop competing with one another and combine forces to defeat the true enemy.

- To persuade them further, Isabella mentions the children they all gave birth to are still alive, bringing out an array of emotions from the women that they each thought they had buried deep down.

- THIS! Just all of this is wonderful and shows just how much Isabella learned from her children who once defeated her.

- To fully gain the women’s trust, she gives them Ray’s farewell note that he originally left in order to bait Krone, as proof she won’t double-cross them at any point.

- I love the fact that she kept the note close to her because it acts just like all the other various toys and items she saved in her secret room back at plant 3. The original owners were all precious to her so she kept a piece of them behind to remember them in a place only she knew about. As I said before when mentioning her “I wish I could have just loved them normally” quote, all the love she had for her children had to be suppressed when she was under the system’s control, but that doesn’t mean she never cared. Because she did, and if I haven’t made at least that clear by now then I’m failing.

- Can her intentions and love for her children be any more clear? (possibly, i’m not done with this darn post yet. how you guys holding up? i’m going a little insane at this point.)

- Anyways! Second season didn’t make the rest of the story easy so apologies for any timeline mishaps as I switch between both anime and manga events from here on out.. like how in manga Isabella is informed of the escapee’s return to Grace Field via Peter, while the in the anime it’s her who helps lures them back with a fake transmission via the radio they stole.

- Just before Emma & the others do return to Grace Field on November 13, Isabella finally reaches out to the farm’s many other Sisters to recruit them. She waited until the right moment to inform them of her crazy takeover plan so Peter wouldn’t become suspicious from all of headquarters acting/thinking differently (you know, like how Emma kept the jailbreak plan under wraps until the night of). These ladies also feel a bit wary and even think of Isabella’s offer as a joke, but with some real, heartfelt encouragement, she manages to win over every single woman to her side.

- The moment when it was first revealed to us that she was not only still alive but was also promoted to Grandma is still so powerful.

- She snaps Nat’s finger back into place after Peter broke it. (and considering emma’s group infiltrates the farm right after this, i’m pretty sure that ch170 with rallying the sisters took place before this..i think?)

- Gave me a minor heart attack.

- *CLAPS FRANTICALLY!!!* The moment she truly won me over. 

- While her betrayal against Peter in the manga is fantastic and quite possibly one of my favorite moments, the anime did give us a little something too. It shows Peter spewing utter nonsense to Emma about how she’s destined to fail, only for best girl to bite back with such a fantastic quote, and then Isabella drops the act and switches sides. While I agree Emma’s comeback is “wonderful,” it’s the English dub that completely wins me over in this scene by having Isabella comment “Now that’s my girl” instead, like bro.. hearing that makes me so happy.

- For real dude, you have several highly skilled women pointing guns at you, I think her betrayal is crystal clear.

- This is like the perfect example of how she had to conceal her feelings while bound by the system. She just misses these kids so much y’all but she can’t let her true emotions show yet.

- Having her call Peter a boy is beyond hilarious to me. Also, how she disagrees with him on so many levels is excellent, like how he believes in experimenting on kids and having the right to call yourself their parent just because you created them, while Isabella believes in raising and loving children normally and that you earn that parent title by actually being part of their lives. To be fair they both inflicted pain on kids (Nat’s finger/Emma’s leg) but Peter’s action was a mistake in itself. Isabella got frustrated back when Krone even threatened to ship out the kids who discovered the secret, so you can bet she’s probably pissed off at this boy for harming one of her kids on purpose.

- The best mother-daughter moment ever! It’s such a shame it never got truly animated since the second season decided not to give the children guns, but we get to see a small smile from Isabella after Emma decided to still call her “mom.”

- The anime never gave Peter the chance to run away, like he (somehow) managed to do in manga, so we had the chance to see someone actually shoot at him. Well, in his general direction at least. Isabella lands a perfect shot not even a full second after he pulls out that disc. Accuracy on point.

- Said this once or twice in the past in manga so I’m glad the anime brought it back.

- Remains cautious and keeps her gun raised at Peter when Emma approaches him and rightfully so considering he still had his knife hidden at this point.

- Refuses Emma’s offer to join the kids in the human world at first because she knows that her (& the sister’s) actions shouldn’t be forgiven so easily, but with some rather blunt sympathy from Ray and encouragement from her other children, she finally gives in.

- This entire post summed up in one image.

- She apologizes even though distancing herself from her kids and preparing them for death were just required of her role as a caretaker. She wouldn’t have done any of that in a normal world. (do i sound like a broken record yet? probably)

- The emotion you hear in her voice during this entire dub scene hits my heart in all the right places.

- She still thinks of Leslie after all this time and I think that’s real cute.

- Her protective nature is on full display when she protects Emma from this bastard of a demon. A truly surprising and heartbreaking moment, considering this is the woman who’s survival used to be her top and only priority in the past, but now doesn’t hesitate to give her life in order to save her kid (and by extension that small girl emma saved. also, major heart attack for me).

- Despite being critically injured, this woman still possess enough strength to hold back a demon twice her size. She doesn’t even pay any mind to its nonsense. Like the demon, people often think this is when redemption arc starts but I believe it started way back in ch37 when Isabella retrieved and hid the ropes the kids used to escape. Ever since she admitted defeat on the wall that night, she threw caution to the wind and began cheating the system in hopes to one day assist the kids achieve a brighter future. Despite all the work she’s done behind the scenes, Isabella believes there’s still so much more she can do to atone, so even though she’s already received the children’s forgiveness, she continues to assist them by jumping in and saving them directly from demons for once in her life.

- Ma’am it’s sweet you’re so concerned with their safety, but we should be asking you that question ya know? (but then again emma was the same way after she woke up from her coma).

- Knows that just apologizing and saving Emma isn’t enough to suddenly forgive all her actions and wants to do so much more for the children as a result. Even though I already acknowledged all her subtle and hidden moments, I wish we got to see her care for them more openly.

- I simply can not read through ch177 and not get emotional. No matter how hard I try, I always feel tears start to form in my eyes. Oh my god, how cruel that death can be this beautiful. It’s so unfair.

- *uses old chapter review because I’m too upset right now* “She apologizes for everything. For not treating him right and loving him as a mother normally would her own son. For making him despise his life so much and enduring so much pain that he thought the only escape was suicide.”

- “She leaves him with one last wish to protect everyone, and that completely breaks me because you know exactly how much they both care for their family. Not only would they literally die for their family, but they would live for them too if someone asked. Truly like mother, like son.” (aaaaaahhhhh)

- Her, umm.. ghost (along with Conny’s & Yuugo’s) help Ray reunite with Emma in 2049.

- All my tears aside, the anime did something right by actually keeping her ALIVE!

- Have you ever seen something so GODDAMN BEAUTIFUL in all your life?? This image is so powerful it literally tossed aside any salty feelings I had that night with how the second season ended. Seeing her like this grants me so much happiness y’all, it’s truly unbelievable. I still can’t get over it and hopefully I never will.

Okay, now I’m done, thank god. Sorry this is like ridiculously long, especially since she’s absent for sooo many chapters. Also find it so hilarious how drastic my opinion of her changed from the beginning to now, from “bitch” to “oh my god I love her so much.” I know people will always have opposing opinions whether she’s actually a good mother or not and that’s totally fine. Wasn’t trying to convince y’all of that either because yes, some of her actions are real unforgivable, but she was suffering under the farm system too and just followed through with what she was trained to do in order to survive, but while other Sisters fought to climb ranks and help themselves survive, Isabella ultimately wanted the best for her children. The more power she gained, the more risks she took and once the system crashed so did her facade.

An absolute queen.

#the promised neverland #mother isabella #tpn isabella #tpn manga #tpn anime #chidoroki used chatter

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bastillewolf · 3 years

Text

Kinda Sketchy (II)

Pairing: Corpse Husband / Reader

Request: “Can you do a part two of kinda sketchy where they slowly fall in love?”

Notes: Sorry this took me so long, but I had zero inspiration as the request left a lot of questions hahaha. Still fun to write, I hope you like it!

Tag list closed.

Chapter II

You’d fallen into a routine for a while. You’d do groceries, he’d do the dishes. You switched cooking, though it was also fine if neither of you felt like it, which is when you’d just order takeout or eat leftovers. But what seemed like the normal thing for two roommates to do on a spoken terms of agreement, it actually appeared you did those things for each other because you wanted to. You’d find some left over dishes in his room which you’d clean, and the next morning you’d find the forgotten tea on your nightstand already back in the cupboard. If you fell asleep working, reading, or watching something on TV, you’d somehow always end up in your bed even though you couldn’t remember getting up to get there yourself.

It had grown into this wonderful friendship between two people who had found it convenient to live together. You knew he could just as well live on his own now, knowing how big his YouTube channel had gotten within the time you’d first seen it up until now- in only a few months, at that. You’d asked him about it, but he’d simply brushed it off, saying it was easier for him this way. He wasn’t sure if he would ever do a face reveal, and having you go outside so he didn’t have to was a great bonus to the shared rent and company. It had hurt you slightly to hear him talk about it so plainly when you had already realized you were starting to feel more for him than you were supposed to.

It had started gradually, to be honest. You hadn’t noticed it at first. You simply took for granted all the times he jokingly bumped his shoulder into yours, or when he hugged you tight when he saw you needed it, or when he even kissed you on the cheek while having a debate with you on what a ‘chef’s kiss’ meant when you’d cooked a – if you may say so yourself – sublime meal.

But now, you had to miss all of those things. It seemed, when you agreed to his basic explanation of how easy it was for him with you living here in order to hide your disappointment, he’d seen it as a sign to stop doing all of those things for granted.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, please. But it’s just easier. I’ve gotten recognized before in a drive-through and I don’t want to go through that ever again,” he said.

You shook your head, even though your heart was plummeting down a set of stairs. “No, I completely get it. We’re roommates and it’s what we agreed upon. That’s it.”

“That’s it,” he repeated.

And that was it. The cups of leftover tea on your nightstand had started to form a fort, and you suddenly found yourself waking up on the couch in the middle of the night, feeling cold and grouchy as you realized you had to walk back to your bed. If you did sleep there until morning, you’d wake up from the sound of the coffee machine with a mumbled ‘sorry’ from your roommate, but other than that, he never said anything about it.

You’d wondered if he was angry with you. You’d even made a peace offering by cleaning up the mess in his room. Even that he didn’t mention.

So, one night while you were waiting on him at the table to show up for dinner, he didn’t come. He wasn’t in the apartment, he hadn’t texted you, he hadn’t left a note. He was nowhere to be found. Of course, you’d think something happened to him. You called Sykkuno first, and luckily you’d chosen exactly the right person.

“Oh, yeah! We’re playing Mario Kart, and he’s staying over. I thought he’d told you?” he said.

“Eh, no, he didn’t,” you replied, rubbing your eyes. “It’s fine. You guys have fun.”

“Thanks! You should come next time too, if you’re not too busy. Corpse told me how much work keeps you up.”

“He did?” you ask, sounding as monotone as could be.

“Yeah, but I think it’s just because he doesn’t want you to meet us yet. We kinda make a crazy first impression on everyone, and I’m pretty sure he wants us to be on our best behaviour when you come over… He- He does talk about you, a lot.”

“He… what?”

“Rae started teasing him about it, but then he brushed it off saying he’d never cheat on me, which is kind of weird considering we aren’t-“

“What did he say about me?” For a moment you felt guilty cutting him off, but your curiosity and heart got the better of you and Thomas didn’t really seem to mind.

“Oh, you know, how you’ve been taking care of him more than he’s ever taken care of himself. I thought it was kind of sad, but he talked about it pretty fondly. Rae caught a hint of that and started asking very personal questions, like what’s going on between the two of you, and then he stopped. I think he just doesn’t want to throw things out there, you know? I think he- Oh, here he is now! Do you want to me to hand you over?”

“No. Thanks, Thomas.” You’d quickly ended the call, but it seemed to late when you’d still heard him ask with that raspy voice of his, “Who are you talking to?”.

So, you ended up eating your dinner alone. He didn’t come home until after midnight, when you were still sitting at the same table, this time with your laptop in front of you doing some last bits of work so you wouldn’t end up falling asleep on the couch again.

You didn’t even turn around when you heard him walk in. He seemed to even hesitate for a moment, judging by his footsteps, before he said ‘hey’. You muttered it back, pretending to be engrossed in your work.

He grabbed a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water, before leaning back against the counter, his face turned to you. “You know, maybe you should just work in bed. I highly doubt falling asleep with your face smashed against the keyboard is very comfortable.”

You suddenly stopped typing, leaned your elbows against the table and linked your fingers together, looking him dead in the eye. “Maybe I want to feel the pain in my back as a punishment knowing I fell asleep like this again.”

“Fair enough,” he sighed.

You let a silence linger just a bit longer, before you continued typing and said, “You could’ve told me where you were.”

He was probably staring at you, but you still pointedly ignored him. “I didn’t know that was in our arrangement.”

“Well, I didn’t know our arrangement was that unpersonal to you. Seems like all I am is someone who just gets your groceries for you.” It was a low blow. But you just needed to make him feel the stabbing, the way he stabbed you.

“Jesus, I told you not to take that personally. That’s not what I meant at all,” he said.

“I didn’t take it personally until you thought that conversation was enough to start ignoring me,” you lied.

“I think you know just as well as I do why I’m keeping my distance.”

You met his eyes. Nothing you could see in there, besides the frustration, gave you any answers. You couldn’t help it, you were glaring back at him just as hard even though all you could feel right now was confusion. He shook his head and sighed.

“Maybe it’s time this agreement ends.”

The thought had crossed both your minds, but he was the one who had said it out loud. And probably stung harder for you than it would have for him if you’d cut the cord. He left you sitting there, with tears now blurring your vision, slamming the door behind him for good measure.

***

He wasn’t home again. It gave you the perfect opportunity to quickly pack the rest of your shit up and leave, quietly. A cowardly move, perhaps, but you knew you didn’t have it in you to face him for this. You still hadn’t found a new place yet, since everything in Cali was way too fucking expensive and most ads looking for a roommate even sketchier than the one from Corpse you’d replied to. One of your friends had come to your aid, however, so you had at least a temporary place to say without having to suffer in this tension any longer.

You were just shoving the last of your books in a cardboard box when your phone rang. It was Thomas.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Uh… well, I was wondering if you could tell us that…” Sykkuno hesitantly asked.

“What are you talking about?”

“Oh- give me the phone-“ “Hey!” there was an evident struggle, before Rae was suddenly talking to you, clearly having ripped the device from Thomas’ hands.

“Corpse is acting all weird! We know something happened between the two of you, but he doesn’t wanna talk about it! It’s like he’s gone back to his brooding old self and I’m worried! So you better start talking!”

“Unless it wasn’t your fault-“ you heard Thomas call out. He was quickly shushed by Rae.

“There’s nothing to say. He made it very clear that our living arrangement was just that; an arrangement, and he stopped talking to me. I confronted him about it, he started saying vague shit and asked me to move out.”

“Wait, what did he say?! I need specifics!” “Rae talks Corpse language, apparently,” you heard Toast mumble in the background.

“He said ‘I think you know just as well as I do why I’m keeping my distance’,” you imitated, your voice not nearly going as low as his.

“Wait, what?”

“I think he just figured out I have feelings for him. I understand how he wouldn’t want to be friends anymore.”

“Oh my god, you’re both such idio-!“

The call ended before you could hear the rest of Rae’s frustration. You shrugged it off, understanding why she would be mad at you by upsetting Corpse. He was her friend first and foremost, after all.

You stuffed your clothes in garbage bags, tied them up and pushed all of it into the living room. You’d dusted, vacuumed, and taken the bedsheets off. While balling all of the laundry up in your arms, you heard the door open. You immediately froze.

Footsteps were coming closer. Maybe if you didn’t move he would think you weren’t here. You didn’t want to do this. You didn’t want to see that he didn’t care. Your heart was pounding in your chest and your hands were wringing the fabric of the bedsheets. God, you should’ve packed quicker. You shouldn’t have been so organized, you should’ve just shoved everything in a few boxes altogether and made a break for it. You should’ve.

He was at your door opening. The footsteps had stopped. You still had your back turned to him.

Just keep walking. Please, just keep walking, you pleaded, closing your eyes. Waiting for the final blow.

However, it didn’t seem to land. Not anywhere near you, at least.

You simply heard his breathing, which seemed more erratic than usual, but perhaps you were just imagining things. Please, just keep walking. Please, I can’t-

“Please don’t go,” he rasped.

Your brows furrowed. If anything, your eyes squeezed shut even tighter. He had to be joking with you.

But then he said your name, pleadingly. He stepped behind you, and you could feel his warm breath against your neck. “Please don’t go. I don’t want you to go.”

“I think you do,” you tried to convince him, as well as yourself.

His hands found his way around your waist and across your stomach until his chest was flush against your back. “No, I don’t.”

Your hands felt numb, so numb you barely noticed them dropping the bedsheets. He turned you around slowly, and you opened your eyes.

“I… heard what you said to Rae.”

“Oh.”

You watched as he leaned in, the tip of his nose brushing against yours. You didn’t stop him- of course you didn’t want him to. His lips pressed against yours gently, in a question, which you responded to. It was still laced with a certain hesitance, but not one strong enough to make either of you want to pull back. It was tingly, warm, and comfortable as the stress of the past few days came washing over you.

He smiled shyly as he pulled back. “I’m sorry. I thought you knew about how I felt.”

“I’m sorry too. I think we need to set up some things in our agreement about communication.”

“Please, no more fucking agreements. I think Rae would definitely kill us.” You both laughed.

TAG LIST CLOSED!

@annshit @simonsbluee @majolittlemixgurl18 @redosmo @mythicalreader @gracehaileym @leikarinn @its-bootz @ollwinchester @thehatredofshiprrick @curlyhairedbrock @thatbandchick39 @reddeserths @mitseuul @potenzel @tanchosanke @tooturntashbash @stephn-prkr @missingpuzzlepiece @sweetasphyxiation @goldiefox1 @imrisaluk @chimchimsugakookies @helena-way07 @danny-devitowo @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @cherry-piee @artist-bby @bluewneptune @bratttyaphrodite @eccedxntesiaast @faithneko @thebootythrasher @bethpiercwhy @theeerealpunkin @heartbroken-writer @chisaikuki @realnicoleworld @candystoregirl @derpygiraffe43110 @rintomoj @phantomamethyst @helloitsmeamie203 @falcon-arrows @nvthvlyy @ellomellows @loraleiix @ladolcedea @lunaruss @princess00wifi @pennnyroyalty @cultofandom @easygoingtheatre @crpseclt @thatonefangirlbornonfriday @myherotrashbin @hufflepuff-always-and-forever @martinimom @gummybear123 @sparklingblacktea @lovelynervouskingdom @kingsuals @weeblyheaux @flightsandfantasy @chanelle-jackson @actual-spawn-of-satan @dixielumsden @consumegods @mirandabarry @ikearandl @narwhalsaremagicalbroski @armycandy10 @chillininahottub-withaghost @mitchiesdungeon @yeolliedokai @alyofmusic @qatiee @dzzizzi @johnjacobjingleheimerschmidt @leilanixx @thefuckthesaurus @hughugh20 @thanossexual @moneybagmara @squintyangel @motheroffae @arossebyanyothername @vacaprincess @jinxedanxrchist @peterparkerspjsuit @chrysanthykios @wildflowerwhore @punkrainbows @justalilsimpsometimes @bunniwritesx @sunnsettee @justxanotherxshipper @alilshit @dekahg @laugh-like-the-moon @sadness-babee @corpsie-bby @corpsesgirl @dead-boys-stuff @roses-and-grasses @sakusawife @byunniebaekhyunnie @lazy-little-me @phantomamethyst @letsloveimagines @polahorvat @sokkas-paintings @possiblyanxioushuman @a-dot-dev @aniyahsucks @choicesstan1 @error-loading-sorry @bi-andready-tocry @agustdpeach @xibrokensunriseix @genjicats @forest-rav3n @devilishducky97 @alyss01 @anacrcarvalho @siriuslystupid @bakugonua @n0t-a-simp @notmewrongb1tch @c00ln3rdz @rolls-and-rolex @namjoons-crabssss @laurenfangirlsout @lickmyleeches @and-claudia @netflix-imagines @bigdickdaddysatan @iambashfulperson @helloitsmeamie203 @peachdoppi @easygoingtheatre @danielle143 @kyky9103 @tayloryorkscurls @v-kouya @jeezkiddo @smokeynaomi @lukoivichi @boiled-onionrings @nerdinthecorner @corpse-husbandsimp @ramdomtails @elebeleb @captainbuckyy @smile-its-psychotic

#Corpse husband #Corpse husband x reader #corpse x reader #corpse #youtube fanfiction #among us #e girls are ruining my life #cat girls are ruining my life #never satisfied #white tee #cabin fever #agoraphobia #miss YOU!

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