#not even posting it to my art blog because I hate myself rn

[faggoty-andi]

Giving Lego Batman the romcom poster it deserves

[geopsych]

re: the tumblr ai stuff, please don’t wipe your blog!! your blog has been so important to me and many others as a place of authentic light and beauty and i would hate to lose it forever 💕

there is a way to download the contents of a tumblr blog (it’s in settings, i don’t remember rn, but i’ll find it if you need it) maybe you could upload to another site or a personal site?

i know this is very serious, and i hate how we are unwillingly contributing to synthetic art, but the world would be poorer for me without your pictures <3

Thank you. Your words mean a lot to me.

This is a dilemma for me. I have loved doing this blog and going out to look for pictures and interesting things to bring here has given me motivation and meaning through years of struggle with depression and several kinds of grief. Going out to look for pictures has put me in situations where I have seen incredible beauty, much of which I never really managed to capture. Also, the many warm and kind messages I've received from people all over the world have given me heart and made me feel less meaningless as a person and more connected. Sometimes I've been criticized for buying the checkmarks and giving money to Tumblr but I wanted to do what I could because Tumblr has been my one happy and safe place online. But now this. To me AI in relation to creativity is just a way for well-to-do but untalented people, the proverbial tech bros, to profit from other people's hard work and creativity. It has no redeeming value in relation to creativity and is actively harmful to artists of all kinds. <trying to figure out how to put a read more link here> I don't even count myself among the real creatives, artists and writers and others who have worked hard and put years into honing their crafts, into learning to translate their hearts and unique spirits into their creative expression. I just see beautiful things and take pictures of them. But it would still make me sick to see AI works based on my pictures, on these times and places that have meant so much to me. Recently I saw a set of cat 'photos' on here that everyone was reblogging and exclaiming over but that to me seemed to just be AI art that was more convincing than most. As time goes on more and more output of AI is going to be almost indistinguishable from real works and unscrupulous people will pass them off as real, getting credit for what was actually created by others. Whether they profit from them becomes almost irrelevant at that point because what's worse is that we will have less and less sense of what is real. And as some have pointed out AI will now also be scraping from AI, muddying the waters further from here on in. This is an apocalypse of sorts, an apocalypse of creativity, ultimately likely to kill the joy of artistic endeavor for many who would otherwise produced brilliant, beautiful, funny, and/or shockingly original things. I'm still parsing and dissecting my thoughts and feelings about what Tumblr has done and how to react. Staying and leaving my blog up feels like consent. I am not confident in the integrity of anyone connected with scraping sites for AI. I'm not convinced that a little toggle in settings is going to make much of a difference in the long run. On the other hand I like posting here and I have received enough messages over the years to know that my blog is a positive influence on some lives. I was looking forward to May and June and posting pictures of the incredible beauty of eastern Pennsylvania in those months. And I was planning on making a side blog for posting some poetry I've been working on. It will break my heart to leave.

I haven't decided yet. Believe it or not this whole thing has given me awful physical symptoms. I'll let you know when I decide. Thank you again for your kind and lovely note!

[discourse-evolved]

Oh it's been a while since I've broken this bad boy blog out of the sewers.

But hey, let's talk about the mcyt fandom.

Truly, joining Twitter in 2021 was one of the worst steps back for my mental health that I had in a while. Did I meet a ton of really amazing, incredibly talented writers and artists, much easier than I ever did on Tumblr? Yeah! Sure! But I also experienced such an incredibly deep sense of anxiety when every fucking move I made was potentially aired to hundreds of people, which made me realize why I hate Twitter so much.

Scrolling through Tumblr I don't feel any sense of legitimate fear if I like a post to go back to it later, because no one else can see that and accuse me of liking a potentially "problematic" artist or blog. I can spend some of my downtime scrolling through the intriguing, silly mess that is my dashboard and go back to that post that I felt was sus later to see what it was really about.

I understand that people are always nervous about interacting with people that they don't agree with things on. The problematic ones, the ones with weird and uncommon kinks, the ones that make people uncomfortable, but the sheer amount of rampant paranoia I saw within the mcyt fandom on twitter in 2021-2022 felt like the end of fandom as I knew it.

And with a fandom like mcyt, I get it! Dealing with real people and the characters built off of them and especially with content creators who are SO deeply entwined and connected to their audience is much more difficult terrain to traverse when it comes to the taboo.

But seeing the way that so many people got so caught up in wild witch hunts was pretty fuckin terrible too. An errant ao3 bookmark, an off-color comment, an idea from people who weren't familiar with the fandom at large and the content creators' different specific boundaries, and they would be attacked en masse.

I fuckin hated it. I hated it so much. But I couldn't say anything about it, even if I didn't agree with the person myself, because defending someone against the mass dehumanization from the rest of the fandom would mean that I went down with them.

And that, at its core, is something that deeply concerns and scares me. Because at the end of the day, who and what is fanfic, even problematic ones, hurting? No one who doesn't read it. And with a site like ao3 with tags and warnings and summaries, that should be happening less and less, if people just use it properly.

I'm not saying there weren't weird people in the fandom that I would prefer to not to interact with myself, and I'm not going to say that I people should be forced to interact with people who make them uncomfortable.

But, I am saying that far too many people in that fandom were ready to dehumanize anybody who stepped even slightly out of bounds, which is something that no one deserves.

I could really go on and on about this topic and the purity culture that exists within the mcyt fandom, but by god I'm not mentally ready for that rn. Just remember that weird people are people too and don't deserve to die because of fiction that they thought up/made art of/wrote down.

[devotion-disorder]

HI OMG now that i have ur attention (kinda) w the last ask about dol can i just say that ur blog is one of my favs FR FR!! your artstyle is perfect i wish i was U!!!! smooch smooch smooch chuu chuu chuu x1000000000 chuus i hope you have the best day of ur life everyday!! and that little kylar chibi is so cute :3 in the time that i’ve sent that ask he has since kidnapped me!! <33 i ignored him the entire time though bc why would he do that!! (he’s cute but i can’t let him get out of hand) and i escaped dw :3

okay and note about dol; UR SO RIGHT i love the grind of getting money it’s so rewarding!! i’ve became a little sexy spa girl to entice customers into givang me monay…. ohohoho. but now idk what to do with all of it, what do you spend money on other than baileys weekly payments?? i avoid giving them money HEHE ( but i do pay them once a month though so robin doesn’t get shanked))

love u love u great artist and author and everything!! multitalented starshine!! + + + + + Love

also. what’s Hades… ahaha… ur my game plug

omg anon you are being too nice what the FAWK....im jus your game plug.............asudhaiudhawiudawhiad😭😭😭😭 <- im morphin into this emoji in real time. sentencing you to ten thousand smooches NOW

i also loved to grind for cash in dol LOL but it was mostly just for the millionaire vrelcoin achievement. because theres nothing i love more than meaningless achievements in viddy games😔then once i got it i just spend it on literally anything because money just becomes a non-factor lol

but also thanks for giving me an excuse to talk about Hades. you will regret this. under the cut cause da post is long:

Hades is an indie roguelite game released a couple years ago! and literally I cannot find a single bad thing to say about this game im being serious rn. The storyline? Fucks. The music? Fucks. The art? Fucks. The characters? I need to fuck everyone so bad. The gameplay? I've never been more addicted to dying. and this game is fully voice acted like WHAT?????

In the game you play as Zagreus, son of Hades, and youre trying to escape from your house because you hate your dad and also to find your mom. but theres also tons of other characters with their own sub-plotlines AND there's a dating mechanic. there's honestly so much goddang content and the writing + voice-acting is totally solid!!

i'm not much of a Gamer™ myself and im usually pretty shit (or mediocre at BEST) in action-heavy games, but even i found hades to be super enjoyable :oo it did took some getting used to in the beginning, but after getting the hang of it and because of the game's natural progression it does get significantly easier. I think the game is really well-balanced, and no matter what weapon or boon you use its still really fun.

if i remember correctly back when the trailer dropped it caused quite a stir on twitter/tumblr because it looked so good. And guess what!! they're making HADES 2 BABEY!!! but that comes out in early access next year i think.

so yeah. check it out if you want! or maybe later if you have finals. because I will admit that sometimes.....when i couldve been drawing or doing something productive. i was not. because i was playing hades. so um. sorry guys.

[ask-andante]

Hi, I've decided to officially end this blog.

It took a lot of time thinking about it (tbh i was even thinking about it before the anon) and discussion with close friends and I think I am done.

This blog was used to help me get through various parts of my life, and it can no longer serve that purpose. It's done its job wonderfully and helped me cope and even make a friend circle after isolating myself for a few years. I never thought I'd ever have an actual friend group, but it's something that was made possible VIA this blog.

It hurts a lot to end it, I won't lie, I'm like actually mourning it rn but I've started to develop a sort of resentment towards the blog and plot askblogs due to Mental Illness and I think I just cannot keep holding onto this blog anymore. So, I decided it's best to let it go before I hate it. I doubt I'll come back to finishing it after posting the plot outline, seeing as it's all out in the open, but you never know.

The doc contains the outline with a header to jump to where this blog left off. I got pretty far in so I feel extra down about tossing in the towel here, but that's just how it is. I've tried many ways to salvage my motivation, lowering art quality being the main one as art is my job now and it's no longer the escape it used to be, but I don't think the workload itself is the issue.

If I move onto future projects, you will likely see me post them on @aibouart , so feel free to check the art blog out and follow if you'd like. I am not abandoning the characters here, I will continue to draw them likely and RP them and whatnot. You can send asks OOC anytime, just know I may not be very active~

Anyways, here's the plot outline. Some things are not included in it despite having been planned because they were either up in the air on their specifics, or were late additions not added in yet (nast stops appearing in the outline some ways into it as they were a new addition to help give Andan another person to have a better dynamic with. They were planned to become friends < 3 )

Thank you for reading and for your patience, as well as everyone's continued support over the years. This blog was great as a form of expression and art, and great to get me socialising. I discovered many things about myself over the course of being here on Tumblr and this blog was one of the starting points~

If you'd like some minor additional content, you can go and read over old memes: @andanteooc

Or the related blog: @andanterelated

The related blog consists of memes I've reblogged tagging relevant characters.

You can feel free to send me asks to talk about the plot outline or anything else. I won't post any spoilers until tomorrow, or I'll just tag them "andante spoilers///" if you were interested in the doc to read at a later date.

Please note it is missing quite a few details as I used to log the combat or speech sections separately before actually putting them in the doc (the og was pasted from a tumblr page). I can answer asks about things that weren't addressed because of its nature, but will not repeat myself if it's been asked haha.

Thank you again. I initially started this blog with a goal in mind and succeeded in it years ago, so I think I can be happy that it went above my original goals.

[chubs-deuce]

Hey so I get I just posted vent art but someone just reblogged it to a really negative blog and I just wanted to say:

Please don't take that post as some edgy self hate thing, I'm just having a weird brain funk trying to keep my brain at bay at below average energy levels and am unsure of my place in life, but still think I deserve love and kindness from myself AND others because no matter what the shadowy asshole in my brain says, I try my best to be a good person, even when I'm not! And it can fucking suck on that!

The boat I'm in rn is wobbling and creaking suspiciously with ominous shadows circling in the water below, but damn it, I've got flextape made of spiteful hope and hard earned crumbs of self respect and I WILL use them to make it out of this funk, like all the others before it!

Me maintaining hope and me acknowledging that I'm currently at a low point are not mutually exclusive sentiments - that's just me being transparently human, showing the result of one of my coping mechanisms.

You can be struggling without it being an automatic loss. Setbacks and depressive phases are not failures, they're an ongoing war that's picked back up, but is so worth winning. You haven't lost until you've actively given up.

Keep fighting for the self respect you deserve!

Be kind to yourself!

Let yourself feel things, get them out of your system a healthy way, and keep going!

Radical positivity on this blog today!

[mass-convergence]

A collarary to the advice of "they'll read it if they want to and they won't if they don't" is - they need to find it. People not reading your work is not a mark against its' quality, it's simply evidence that people haven't found it. As a published author myself I get it, it sucks when noone reads your work. It feels that you have put something out into the world and that it is being ignored. But it is not being actively ignored, it is not being judged as poor quality. It simply hasn't been found. Courage and patience. Don't be scared to send links to reviewers or people in other circles.

Sincerely - thank you.

Long, somewhat disorganized, ramble

It is frustrating, and part of this is my (admittedly ADHD related, though trying to blame it solely on that isn’t really getting the full picture) need for instant gratification and complete lack of patience in anything. And the general insecurity that if it doesn’t get some kind of recognition, positive or otherwise, that I’m just showing my whole ass to the world and people are being too polite to mention it. I also have issues with emotional regulation so it literally feels like someone’s squeezing my heart whenever I get into this state.

And I’ll be honest: I’m frustrated with people who have said they’ll read it or check it out and then never do. And I don’t feel like keeping on poking them and asking them if they are. Because I’ve gotten the “I’m sorry I’ve just been so busy” explanation about a hundred times now (only slightly exaggerating).

And I don’t want to call them liars because I’m an adult with a day job and a mountain of responsibilities that I’m only somewhat keeping up with. There’s plenty of stuff I want to watch or consume that I don’t have mental bandwidth to handle. I’ve read the first paragraph of Gideon the Ninth and I want to read more I just haven’t gotten a chance. Which also is lending to mental health issues but we do not have the time to unpack that rn.

This is something I’m passionate about and pouring my heart into and not even getting the bare minimum of support from people who purportedly said they’re interested is not really a fun spot to be in. (And I know one or two of my friends have been reading and I love you guys). My mom said she was gonna read it which is slightly terrifying because she’s not into queer fantasy but she’s also like unabashedly supportive and has been trying to get me to publish my writing and sell my art for goddamn ages. I’m not on the level of Tolkien or Pratchett or Gaiman (Martin you stay the fuck out of this) and I’m not trying to be them either. But I think I’m like decent.

And I guess I took some of the advice when I was writing fanfic that “well people who aren’t interested won’t read it so don’t worry about posting cringe” and extrapolated it to original fic. Which isn’t a 1:1 - people legitimately do not give a shit about other’s OCs unless they’re given a reason to care.

Side note: Partially the reason that while I could advertise this (and probably should) as a story lead by queer protags, two of whom are POCs, that doesn’t really tell you anything about them. Aside from representation. Admittedly: I’m not too great at self promo because I feel like I’m hyping me and my story telling ability way too much. Which is a self fulfilling prophecy when I inevitably don’t get any bites.

It’s a rough situation all around and frankly demotivating. Part of the reason I just didn’t post on Thursday because I was just so damn tired of posting and having to deal with the pain over and over again. I have a huge buffer of words and chapters and I’m frankly having a hard time deciding if I should keep posting them. I mean my last chapter didn’t get any notes except for the one reblog … which was my own fucking reblog onto this blog.

And I think I’ve come a long way from like not disparaging my own shit. I love my writing. I love my art. I just hate sharing it and not getting the same level of excitement I feel to tell a story I want to tell.

[azi-sings-calliope]

Hi whoever sees this!

This is gonna be my pinned post for awhile, so text under the cut.

So I started this account as a way to post fanart, I'm pretty involved in fandom, and it's one of my favorite hobbies.

A few months ago I took a break, partially because I was just feeling stressed with the idea of being a content creator online, and partially because everything going on in the world was overwhelming. I posted a few more art pieces when I came back, but I honestly didn't enjoy making them as much as I did before.

Recently, I haven't been posting any art at all. And even though I got new drawing tools, every time I draw, engage in a hobby which I used to view as just that: a hobby, I get in my own head and hate whatever piece I made enough to scrap or redo it. Because I stopped viewing myself as someone who just liked art, I viewed myself as a content creator who didn't deserve to be part of the fandom unless I had an endless stream of content.

I was my biggest critic, every piece I made felt wrong, and I wondered why I couldn't draw as well as all those other artists I saw. Despite the endless positivity that I was met with in this community, I still saw myself as inferior, and the only negativity I was met with about my art was from myself.

I'm now learning to see my art as experimental, imperfect, and most of all fun. I think I'm ready to get back into posting artworks, I've been working on a few, so my account may be getting some new posts in the next few months, and hopefully this time, I won't twist myself into knots with my perfectionism.

To anyone who reads this: thank you for all your support, I'm so grateful to have found a community that has done nothing but support me. I want the take away from this to be that you're a valid fan whether or not you make "content". Fanart, fics, animations and all other things fans make are expressions of joy, not obligations! Art is supposed to be fun, and if you're a perfectionist, please remember that everything is imperfect, the most beautiful art piece you've ever seen is imperfect, and it's still beautiful.

I'll update this when I can, I'm still not sure how I'll manage my blog with art and fandom, maybe I'll make a new blog for it, I'm not quite sure yet in all honesty. For now, I'm still working on fics, I'm not as much of a perfectionist there, and it's honestly more relaxing for me rn.

Sorry for the rant, also sorry if this was cheesy, couldn't rly find a way to type this without it sounding like that. Hope you have a great day, and thanks again for all your support!

[ronin-deactivated19851026]

so i've been extremely overwhelmed by....... i guess everything online lmao, it's really hard to focus on things when you're constantly bombarded with things you don't really need at the moment

i'm trying to get back into journaling but damn it's so hard. i know my head isn't empty, i spawn walls of texts almost daily, but my mind goes blank when i'm in front of an open notebook because i don't know what's truly worthy of writing down? it's kind of like with drawing at this point. i'm stuck with the art block because i don't know what's worthy of drawing. and guess what made me feel this way? the social media lmfao. i hate that literally every idea i consider cool i never depict because my brain immediately goes like, "who cares about this?", "this won't get noticed and also you're too late, so don't be cringe", etc

i hate this so much idk. anyway, i think i'm going to make a list of things to focus on, both personal projects/artistic inspirations and fandom related ones. i do have things i overfixate on for years, so why am i letting myself be distracted by some random content ideas that only matter to me for like a day or two...?

i should also start limiting inspirations in general, looking at my folder rn and realizing that there are just WAY TOO MANY things i want to incorporate into my work and it really overwhelms me. reminds me of various artists saying that "less is more" and holy crap i should start limiting myself. this is something i slowly started to realize on my own when i did some pixel art, which is limited already due to its nature, with some color palettes instead of randomly staring at a color wheel for half an hour, not being able to decide which one to use.

also i found out about artfol, social media for artists, and so far it seems promising? haven't tried it yet, maybe i will upload some stuff there later. also maybe i'll finally sort everything here on tunglr dot com and make a separate art blog and will use this one as my "main"-diary-esque blog where i won't post much. it's not like i'm on here anyway, my dash feels overwhelming so i don't even scroll past 3-4 posts a day anymore on here. i'm tired of social media. it doesn't feel personal anymore, it's not fun, not interesting...

fomo effect used to fuck me up before something clicked and i stopped scrolling things. because due to nature of the modern internet, i have more chances of stumbling across useful/interesting information if i just keep scrolling through junk. since as you know, google is dead anyway, shit is hard to find these days, and indeed, every cool thing i managed to find was through random braindead scrolling (post 2016 i mean, i miss mid 2000s era when stuff was actually GOOGLEABLE and you didn't need to scroll long ass feed to stumble across cool things, you could get there at your own pace while just surfing the web). so the habit was made worse by "damn what if i miss some obscure post that features obscure cool thing that will matter to me once i get to know it??" but i'm just so fucking exhausted... everything i love about the internet because so dormant, niche even. the internet, as i define it, is dead to me. it's really heartbreaking

[phantomswolf]

here, i answered the art questions

1. Art programs you have but don't use

aseprite, krita (nightmare to draw in), i used to have a totally 100% absolutely-not-pirated copy of photoshop but not anymore

2. Is it easier to draw someone facing left or right (or forward even)

depends on the day, but usually the left. i hate doing side profiles tho

3. What ideas come from when you were little

A LOT. but my story Nightfall has been a work in progress since I was 11

4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw

GORO AKECHI PERSONA 5

5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself

i hardly post most of my art on Tumblr atm, but that’s because almost all of it regards the Kirby Gemini AU and my partner and i are making a blog for that. so, as a percentage for the last few years, i’ve probably only posted maybe. less than 1% of my work?

6. Anything that might inspire you subconsciously (i.e. this horse wasn't supposed to look like the Last Unicorn but I see it)

honestly a lot of old emo art fksbfjfbd jhonen vasquez was a huge inspo to me for a while

7. A medium of art you don't work in but appreciate

PLUSH MAKING AND FURSUIT MAKING god i wanna learn but i don’t think sewing is my thing

8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in

i’ve had a lot, but i wanna keep them to myself in case I wanna salvage bits and pieces

9. What are your file name conventions

Depends on the day and the art piece but usually shit like “sorry if this looks gay”, variations of AWOO, “normal”, “k i l l”, “straight people”, etc

10. Favorite piece of clothing to draw

Uhhhh armor (i say like a fucking freak)

11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what

this nightmare of a playlist

12. Easiest part of body to draw

Uhhhhhhh depends on the day, usually the face

13. A creator who you admire but whose work isn't your thing

iunno, i don’t think abt that

14. Any favorite motifs

A LOT. i cant think of any specific ones rn but i guess. religious imagery is pretty baller. that and super dark palettes with bright neon highlights and accents

15. *Where* do you draw (don't drop your ip address this just means do you doodle at a park or smth)

my room for digital stuff, but i usually bring a sketchbook with me if i’m going out

16. Something you are good at but don't really have fun doing

oughhh coloring and shading

17. Do you eat/drink when drawing? if so, what

usually water. hydration is important 👍

18. An estimate of how much art supplies you've broken

traditional, i have no clue. too many. digital supplies uhhh i didn’t break per se, but two art tablets have given out (my first one lasted years, but the second only lasted a few months coz it sucked booty hole)

19. Favorite inanimate objects to draw (food, nature, etc.)

TREES.

20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy

expression work!

21. Art styles nothing like your own but you like anyways

my partner’s style!! i love it so fucking much

22. What physical exercises do you do before drawing, if any

i do a lot of hand stretches. carpal tunnel was too much of a bitch not to

23. Do you use different layer modes

all the time! always for shading and for glowing bits. multiply and add glow layers my beloved

24. Do your references include stock images

sometimes yea lol. i don’t use refs as much as i should tho

25. Something your art has been compared to that you were NOT inspired by

Too much for me to be happy about it.

26. What's a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended

i drew a vent piece and people took it as me just being edgy. wild times

27. Do you warm up before getting to the good stuff? If so, what is it you draw to warm up with

somedays i do. usually just shitposts or my sona

28. Any art events you have participated in the past (like zines)

i have participated in 1 (one) collab

29. Media you love, but doesn't inspire you artistically

uhh ace attorney and persona

30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated

is it weird to say a lot of my works? like the finished ones. iunno, i feel like i get overlooked a lot and it’s a cowabummer

[kllrorca]

TLDR;

- Hai!!!! I'm Orca also now known as Mylo (bc the name is pretty and i wanna feel pretty :3) I'm an alter who's LITERALLY our host but I also have some fictionkins I'll need to regulate later on umm!!!!

- I age with the body and rn, we are 17 :3 I DON'T HAVE A DNI (beside the basic one!!) I'm just existing ^_^ I USE THEY/THEM!!!!!!!!

- I CAN'T FOLLOW BACK!! This is a side blog and even tho host doesn't use tumblr to post, ik he wouldn't want any proshippers in his following so I'm gna respect that :3 (feel free to follow me anywhere else that DOESN'T connect this type of stuff)

- I AM A PROSHIPPER AND PROFIC(??! I need to search more about it but it seems fun :3)

Tsdr [Too short didn't read];

ITS ME!!! - KllrOrca :3

— Mylo/Orca ; Minor ; They/Them ; Headmate

- SIDE BLOG. Other socials will be put later!

- I'm usually fronting, if I'm not fronting u have the permission to ask about me!! The host might not respond but sooner or later I will instead :3

- I am a proshipper & Profic, I'm still getting used to being public about it so I'll put emojis down at some point!!!

- We are bodily Black & Puerto Rican :3 I WILL make jokes eluding to racism and slavery with friends, its something I picked up and will NOT let go!!! If that makes u uncomfortable just tell me ^_^

— Activity Varies depending on how much people perceive me ^_^ If you dont perceive me I won't be on for long, since I'll be bored!

- I USE MY HOSTS ARTSTYLE THAT SEEMS EASY TO USE!! I don't want to hurt my hands OR make others think my host is a proshipper when he's not 😞 I wanna get in drama for ME not him srry

- Everyone has full permission to draw my sona and use my sona in anything EVEN hate drawings :3 I love everything!!!! Give it to meee ^q^

— I'M NOT EXACTLY AGENDER BUT I DON'T EXACTLY HAVE A GENDER EITHER!! I guess I AM agender but on a more feminine + masculine side without the neutral ??? I don't really care :3

- My sexuality is... idk!! I haven't thought about it

- I AM APART OF THE LGBT THOUFH!! I KNOW THAT :3 Idk if I'm pan, i don't think so and besides; I wanna be myself !!!

- ANY AGE CAN INTERACT WITH ME BUT DON'T BLAME ME FOR ANYTHING I AGE RESTRICTED!!

— HAI thw main blog to get to any OTHER blog IS strictly [ANTI PROSHIPPERS] + variations, so I can't send it here :3 incase any anti proshippers want it to date back to my host (who rlly just wants me to stop bothering him about everything) then dm me and I'll send it!!! idm ^w^

- I'll make a carrd/rentry/strawpage at some point :3 maybe :3 idk .. maybe I shouldn't but also Should once I have all my socials ready

MY BOUNDARIES [IK, SHOCKING!!]

— I don't have a dni (beside the basic one!!) :3 You can interact with me idc! Even if its for arguing! One thing I ask though is that u DON'T attempt to dox me, bc at the end of the day I can just stop fronting snd you'll be doxxing an innocent person instead who got so tired of hearing me yap and yap!!

- I won't be doing the time, my host will :3 and it'll only traumatize us more!!! Don't be stupid :D

- ACTUALLY don't harass ANYBODY!!!! u can Harass ME but don't harass anyone else PLEASE!!!! I won't like talking to u otherwise sorry

— JUST BECAUSE I'M AN ALTER DOES NOT MEAN I WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY SYSTEM! Talk to me for me pls :3

- I DON'T CARE ABOUT SYSCOURSE UR ALL PEOPLE AT THE END OF THE DAY and I want people to talk to me ^_^ Talk to me Rachel...!! /ref

- IF YOU feel uncomfortable talking to me since im an alter (confusing but wtvr) DON'T FEEL FORCED TO INTERACT if I interact first :3

- Ai generators can kiss my ass also btw I don't like Ai but i can like the person typing the prompt in the computer if ur cool !!!!

MYYYY Final notes :3

— ANY ANON EMOJIS ARE WELCOMED TO ASK FOR A SPOT HERE OR A SPECIAL TAG :3 U can dm me and ask me abt things idm!! I have the mindset of NOT SENDING HARASSMENT OR hating on people who haven't done anything :3

- u can request me art from me :3 but know thay sending nsfw to minors IS illegal so I can't do nsfw!! sexual nsfw!

[cherry-blitzie]

Hi

I already hate myself for this but ye.

I’m in a stressful situation rn, it’s related to money and I don’t want to give more details, I feel ashamed enough. I don’t want to talk about my gender or my sexuality, what’s going on (or not) with my family so it draws pity or discriminates some other person.

The problem with this thing is that beside boosting my commission sheet, I can’t do anything else bc it’s not a thing I can control or even influence, yk how administrative system works, I did my part, now I wait.

Thing is that I can’t afford to not worry and I can’t get a job. I have no degree, I didn’t even finish high school bc of my health. I can barely go outside and, most of the time, it’s out of impulse, even for groceries, yes.

I’m an artist and offering comms is the only way I can work because I refuse to ask for donations. It feels so wrong to me when I can do something in return, it’s art and it’s not perfect, I’m aware, but it’s still working for it.

This is why I’m insisting so much with boosting my commission sheet. It’s needed. And I simply hate that fact because I feel like I’m begging. I’m not. I have no idea when to post to get seen the most so I try at random times of the day.

If you see this and wish to help, pls consider reblogging my commission post from my art blog @blitziaeleece! However, if you’re interested in comms from me, feel free to contact me!!

[andthelightswavegoodbye]

A Certain Someone and Manipulation

Edit as of May 3rd: I'm afraid the linked post is no longer available as the account has since been deleted or deactivated. I'm not sure when This happened but apologies in advance!

As I’m sure many in the NIN blog community have heard by now, A fairly popular fanartist (MMY) has been called out for publicly posting N*crophilia, and months prior, P*dophillia. This in turn caused a suicide bait of said person, and things got out of control from there. I encourage everyone in this community to check out the post created by @playthegoddamnedpart for further info on what happened, as well as multiple responses regarding the suicide bait (Mine Included) (Link to full thread here). 

Firstly, I like to make an apology statement. Rather than focusing on the problem - someone creating gore p*rn and posting it on a public platform where children can see - I focused on the suicide bait issue. Although I still don’t agree with those methods used, I was subsequently ignoring the issues at hand, and in a sense defending what MMY did. This was never my intention, but it still does not excuse me for what I did. I won’t go into full detail here, as my official response is in the aforementioned link, however I do think there’s still something important I need to warn others about. 

Long story short, it has been brought to my attention that MMY, whether they are aware of it or not, has slight manipulative tendencies, and I might have fallen into said trap. In case MMY pops up again (Highly likely), I want to share about how we grew to talk, and the possible manipulation so people can be further aware. I also acknowledge that my initial response to the situation is still fully my blame to take. 

Slight trigger warning for brief descriptions of what their art entails, as well as self-deprecation further ahead.

In terms of art, gore never usually bothered me. When I first stumbled upon Manmade Yellows (MMY) page some time ago, there was gore, but nothing overtly terrible from what I first saw. Sure, there was death (Examples being Trent choking another version of himself, or Trents head detached from it’s body), But I did not pay it much heed as I should have at the time. Part of this is due to my own desensitization, I will admit. They also depicted Trent in sexual situations (Example being in womens underwear). I liked the art well enough and followed them on Instagram. 

Very early on, I noticed on their instagram stories that they would become very self-loathing in terms of their art and self-worth. there was a lot of “I’m a terrible person, when my parents find out who I really am they’ll hate me”, “My art is terrible, I can’t even do lineart”, “I’m not even a real artist, I only draw porn”, “I’m a piece of shit who only spends their time addicted to porn and gore” “All I do is sit in my room” talk. The first time I saw this, it was extremely concerning and I found myself DMing them about how they were feeling. We talked a bit about, and I tried to be supportive, and then we’d move on. These self-deprecating stories were very common. I found myself saying “No, you’re a real artist. You make art, that’s the only qualifying factor in being an artist”, and they would reply with “It doesn’t have meaning, so it’s not real art”. I in turn would defend them.

I think that’s where the possible manipulation started. I don’t know if they were aware of them doing this, and they did accept compliments easier in time, but I still somehow ended up often trying to make them feel better, put them on a pedestal, because of the constant self-hatred. This led me to get a bit attached to them in a sense, as I too struggle with depression. But at the same time, I should not have continued getting involved. And it should have been obvious that they were posting about the hardships so much to the point it was probably unhealthy for the people reading it.

Along with the depression story posts, they would occasionally talk about instagram censorship, and art censorship in general. Things like how “social media is forcing art to be censored”, “I don’t have anywhere to post my art cause it always gets taken down” “Art shouldn’t be censored, it’s not fair to self expression” “This will just get taken down...”, etc. And to a degree, I agreed. They once gave an example of how renaissance-esque paintings got taken down for nudity on instagram, so “Yea I suppose what they’re saying makes sense”. But I was ignoring two key factors: This is Instagram, a place where kids are allowed to sign up on. And they weren’t posting “Just nudity”. If I’m honest, I’m probably too quick to agree on things. I shouldn’t have immediately folded on the subject. 

 This slowly turned into me outright supporting the gore and porn. I’d say “You draw dark stuff so inexplicably, it’s inspiring”. And to be honest, I still liked their art. I would be a liar if I said technically speaking, their art was bad. And I like dark art too. Some of it I DID truly enjoy, especially cause it depicted Trent, a celebrity that I really like. But I remember one specific set of posts where they depicted Trent getting his limbs chopped off, and just being “used”. And even I knew that was too far. But I think I’d grown so used to them posting gore or sexual stuff so often, and connected with them enough emotionally, that I let it slide and even liked those posts. On their insta story, they’d even post gore videos with the text “Mmmm so hot” or something. But they’d put silly emojis and a comedic tone so “theyre not actually turned on by gore, I’m sure”. That was a blatant red flag. I should have unfollowed then.

When the eventual eruption of what they’d posted happened, doubled with the suicide baiting, I immediately went to shame the baiter, yet didn’t say anything on MMY. I even DMed MMY asking if they were okay. I asked them upfront if they were legitimately a necrophile, and they said no. I took that as truth, and though we still don’t know the actual reality, considering they drew necro porn, I should not have trusted them so easily. They said they realize that maybe they have an issue and wanted to slow down on the gore drawings. I genuinely thought that to be true. They even had an instagram story saying “I realize what I did was wrong, and I won’t be doing this anymore” but looking back, even that was slightly self-deprecating. Afterwards, I noticed that they posted on their story less about wanting to fix things and focused more onto attacking everyone else. it was no longer “I shouldn’t have done that” and it turned into “I don’t care. You guys are just so caught up in your censorship” “I’m just terrible, but whatever”. That’s when I started to really doubt the side I was on. It wasn’t until the tumblr post that I previously mentioned called MMY out, as well as an Instagram comment I left on a post (Talking about the suicide baiting), That I fully realized what I was doing. I once again apologize. I ignored many redflags,  and chose to pretend it wasn’t happening. Because I liked some of their art, I didn’t want to admit that some of it was morally wrong, because that would mean I too was doing something wrong. I fully admit that now. I have since blocked MMY on instagram. 

I still don’t know if this counts as manipulation. In the sense that they constantly shifted the blame from themselves to others, and often made themselves the victim, I would say yes. I think it’s plausible this happened to other followers of MMY, even from just reading their story reels. To anyone reading this, if you encounter MMY in the future, don’t pay their self loathing and insisting of “censorship being bad” any attention. Whether they mean to or not, they are always putting themselves in need “saving”, and always discounting others valid opinion for their own gain. I was gullible, and I don’t want anyone else to do what I did in the future.

[b1gerror]

how do you make your web weaves? they are so pretty. the amount of detail and work you put into robin is inspiring

hi omg i'm really crying rn.. its the 6am talking thank you for calling it inspiring when i normally call it weird about myself haha!

as for the web weaves.. i guess i make every single one differently? i'm not sure if you mean how i decide to organise it, or how i find my material but i'll quickly cover them both. for organising it: i send to just freestyle depending on what i have. for my first webweave(the loneliness one), i had a lot that i felt all kinda flowed together quite well regardless, and so i basically just put it into tumblr and posted, besides the final side which i decide to make more of a collage of thought more specific to robin's mind? whilst the steve one i made, i felt like a lot of my material was disjointed, and so i kinda messed around with it in photoshop and made things overlap to kind of bring a bit more unity to it! honestly: if this is what you're struggling with, just go for it. there is never an ugly web weave, because i think at it's soul, web weave's are chaotic, there are meant to be this collection of thoughts pulled from everywhere.

as for how i find my material: i spend too much time on pinterest, and i follow a lot of poetry / compilation tumblrs (at least i did on an old blog, and just carried a couple over here!): these are amazing if you maybe don't know a lot of poetry, or even artwork! some of my favourites are luthienne & araekni! you can also just go into tags in general, search web weave, poetry compilations, art compilations! as much as i hate tumblrs tag system, the general-ity of it means you can easily search for web weave + loneliness and be greeted by so many resources!

please let me know if i can every do anything to help u make one!! and again, thank u ! <3

[onsunnyside]

𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐇 ꕥ。·:*:·ﾟ,。·:*:·ﾟ

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐭 𝐰𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞.

✩ 𝐍𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・

୭̥⋆*𝑨𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝑴𝒆:

Bonjour! I’m Sonny and my pronouns are she/her. I'm 22, Filipina, and a Leo.

At first, I made this blog to just read fanfics but after a few months, I couldn’t find fics I wanted to reread, even if I tagged them. So Sonny's Fic Rec Masterlist was born! I’m currently writing my own stories — I’ve written before but never on Tumblr.

𝐉𝐨𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐝 | 𝐒𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬 — 𝑐'𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑙𝑎 𝑣𝑖𝑒!

Graphics: All dividers, visuals and moodboards are made by me unless stated otherwise—I make all my visuals, moodboards, and dividers specifically for my stories, masterlists and blog, please don’t steal them. Although no gifs/photos belong to me, found them on Pinterest [links will be listed, either to Pinterest or original source] all credits go to the original creators.

My Anons

My guidelines and boundaries for sending asks and requests.

I don’t do taglists anymore. ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ 𝐅𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰 & 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐨𝐧 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲: @𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲

now, in putting this here bc it’s funny so here’s the things I’ve been called: sunny/sonny side up, mommy (sonny), president sonny, mistress of the horny book club, the ultimate queen of filth, p*rn queen, son son, a god, sonny-shine, sun, baefini, sunny star, sonny bear, miss sonny

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・

୭̥⋆*𝑩𝒍𝒐𝒈 𝑹𝒖𝒍𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑮𝒖𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒔:

THIS BLOG IS STRICTLY 18+ ONLY — MINORS DNI. Blank blogs and blogs without a displayed age or any age indicators will be blocked! [PSA]

°࿐Be Kind: This blog is a safe place for all. No hate, bullying or discrimination tolerated.

°࿐My Works: Do not plagiarize, copy, repost/republish, adapt or translate any of my work on any social media platforms, apps, or third party sites. The only platforms I post my work on are: Tumblr, AO3, and Wattpad. My blog is 18+, so minors DNI.

Most of my works are AUs, meaning characters will be different from what is canon.

Disclaimer: All of my works are fiction. I do not own any character of any franchise (Marvel, OBX, etc.). All my main characters are of legal age and their descriptions are vague to be inclusive to all! (unless specified: the size kink i write is only about height, so all characters are pretty tall and beefy). I do not own any gifs used on this blog, I will try my best for them to be credited with links to the creator, set or Pinterest.

°࿐Responsibility: Read the warnings for each fic. You are responsible for your own media consumption — not the authors who write the fics or me who recommends them. Some fics I recommend are dark/have dark elements, A/B/O and contain explicit sexual content. This stands for works I write myself as well.

Note for sending art and edits: Please keep in my that my readers descriptions are vague for a reason, I want everyone, or at least some people, to be able to insert themselves in my stories. So, I, a person of colour, prefer art and edits that use other ways to portray and symbolize readers without using pictures of a person. No one’s interpretation is wrong or right, because that’s you and how you take in the story. I love to see everyone’s interpretations of my stories, so please, no one feel guilty or discouraged !! This is a safe place.

°࿐Updates: I don’t have an update schedule for anything, and none of my works are abandoned or discontinued. I’ll usually tell everyone when an update is ready. Rec lists are updated randomly. When rec lists are updated, they will be reblogged with #Galore Update and will be green in each specific list.

°࿐Support Authors & Other Creators: Each and every author & content creator mentioned on this blog is talented and I strongly recommend following them and giving them the recognition they deserve by reblogging and liking their work. All stories recommended do not belong to me or were written by me. If you want me to remove your fic from my rec lists, please let me know!

[strigital]

ok fellas whomst would like to throw some commissions my way? 😳

nothing crazy right now, just the stuff you see regularly on my blog - ballpoint pen drawings!

✨✨✨

examples!:

👆👆👆 quick and dirty sketch:

5 EUR for bust

7 EUR for waist

9 EUR for full body

+ 2 EUR for any extra character (max is five, including animals and other non-human characters)

and i may add a quick background in for free if you want

👆👆👆 cleaner, more detailed sketch:

10 EUR for bust

12 EUR for waist

14 EUR for full body

+ 5 EUR for any extra character (max is three, including animals and other non-human characters)

+ 2 EUR for a quick and simple background doodle

👆👆👆 even more detailed and clean sketch with some shading:

15 EUR for bust

17 EUR for waist

19 EUR for full body

+ 7 EUR for any extra character (max is two, including animals and other non-human characters)

+ 5 EUR for a background (or 2 EUR if it's a very simple sketch of a background)

✨✨✨

now! some ground rules!:

YAYs:

OCs

fanart

anthropomorphic characters

erotica

gore and violence

NAYs:

pornography/fetish art

extreme gore and violence

hate speech/bigotry

furry art

if you don't know what's the difference between erotica and porn as well as anthropomorphic characters and furries then you probably should seek out another artist! thanks for understanding!

✨✨✨

how it works!:

slide into my DMs with your idea and provide references if there are any

describe what you want: the pose, the camera angle, the mood, the facial expressions, etc.

lemme do a couple test doodles

choose the one you like the most and/or ask for adjustments

once we're both happy and the price has been agreed upon you provide the payment upfront via PayPal and i get to work!

upon the completion of work you receive the drawing in original quality and - if you so desire - also a scan

revisions may be possible if you are not entirely happy with the outcome!

once in possession of the art you may do whatever you want with it under one condition - do mention me as the original artist. i will also post said piece on my blog, unless it's a spicy one - then it'll go to my Patreon page! you too should probably avoid posting risque commissions because Tumblr is a bitch.

"but Meg!" you say. "why won't you do digital commissions? the quality of art is better for sure!"

to which i say - calm down, baby, there are a few reasons for that:

i draw way more with pen and paper and as such feel more confident in the medium

i am also able to draw quicker this way

and i am also able to work on my art at work

and sometimes i am even able to dish out multiple pieces per day

digital art will come sooner or later, but rn i simply don't want to bind myself to a medium with which i haven't worked in a very long time

✨✨✨

there are 5 slots available until the end of the month! if by some miracle they sell out and i manage to complete them before the end of the month, they might reopen! it's my first try so uh... godspeed. and thank you for even considering buying my skills!! 😭💓