#not gonna say the title for obvious reasons but like

[mazzystar24]

Okay for context look at this first and the link inside it^^^

Then this was part two here of the video

And now imma rant:

STOP THE HETERONORMATIVITY AND CONSERVATIVE ASS VIEW OF HOW FAMILIES FUNCTION

Thats point one I’m not elaborating on that one again but fr what coparent role entails differs family to family so without recognising that every single point you make abt what we should see happening is moot and a title being “reserved by Eddie” is a bullshit concept so that’s just getting ignored before I rant abt it again

But for real she’s like I think people don’t understand what coparenting is- brother in Christ the hypocrisy like coparenting plain and simple is two or more people parenting a child together regardless of romantic status

So let me ask you parenting itself? Is it about financial contribution or the shit on your list? Because

1. No it goes beyond that it’s being there for your kid it’s making decisions for your kid it’s helping them it’s childcare it’s being there for the hard stuff it’s doing annoying tasks, supporting the other parents decisions and a bunch of stuff that go beyond financial contribution or whatever

And this is stuff we’ve seen buck do such as their heart to hearts, being a safe space for him, making decisions abt where he should stay while Eddie was in the hospital, preparing food for his class, the implications of that one Eddie technophobia scene where Chris asks to go to buck and Eddie does a face implying that buck COULD agree but Eddie seeks him to back him up, and a billion other things that both @lenaboskow and @warpedpuppeteer said

Like there is also the debate of instrumental vs expressive role but that’s gonnna get me carried away in a sociology lesson but lemme explain briefly- instrumental role is monetary contribution it’s discipline it’s making the decisions for the child and family whereas expressive role is physical and emotional care of the child and their socialisation and other responsibilities

It makes sense that since buck isn’t legally a parent to Chris he leans more on the expressive role but also plenty of parents who are biological or legally parents of their kids will still take an expressive role and their partner will take an instrumental role like it’s just down to personal preference really even if it’s more common now for the roles to be split equally, because originally it was from the idea that women should be in the expressive role and men in the instrumental but for obvious reasons more people split or invert the roles nowadays but again it’s down to preference

2. THIS IS A TV SHOW not everything will be explicitly stated until it comes up

Chris hasn’t had a medical thing or an emergency or allergy thing yet so why would those things have come up as buck knowing them

Butttt it’s a safe assumption to say he does because not only are they firefighters and know the risks and how important medical history is but also because in canon Eddie pestered some poor mom with a bunch of info FOR A BIRTHDAY PARTY CHRIS WAS GOING TO so you’re telling me the guy who cares for Chris constantly isn’t gonna know the necessary info???? Where is the logic

3. By that logic of oh have we seen this or have we seen that then Athena, Bobby, Michael, henren, madney and even Eddie HIMSELF are apparently not parents either cos all of them have a few things on that list that aren’t explicitly stated or even implied

4. it’s an undisputed fact that Bobby is a dad to buck or Maddie was a mom to buck or bobby a dad to may

And because I can see the “father figure vs dad” defence a mile away let’s go with most relevantly the last two points

Maddie raised buck plain and simple- she was also a teenager so did she financially contribute did she know his past doctors did she make decisions abt where he should go to school etc etc? No because raising someone goes beyond that

Bobby is May’s dad- does she call him dad regularly? No she’s done it once and it was quite late into it but she considered him a dad before that

And also he came into her life when she was older than Chris so again moot point

Does he make decisions abt her or financially contribute? No

In fact a lot of the parenting moments for him in relation to her or Harry has been similar circumstances to buck and Chris

I’m gonna shut up now but like I beg some of y’all to think before you speak because the teeny tiny boxes y’all try to shove stuff into is so weird

Like this stuff is legit canon

On a final note I wanna give a heartbreaking reminder that the decision to have buck jump back into the water eventhough it had practically no chance of survival was based on asking one of the crew (directors?) if it was their kid would they jump and they said they would without hesitation so that’s why they had buck jump in without hesitation (tehe guys I love giving you guys heartbreaking reminders🤭🤭🤭)

[plaguethewaters]

sometimes you see a fanfiction with a take so BAD on some charchters you just. gotta read it all. out of morbid fascination or something

like not even bad bad - everyone has their own opinions yadda yadda - but also how have we watched the same serie man

[twilightarcade]

colors...

[imwetforyourmom]

not her

pt2

warnings: swearing, jealousy, crying, comparison, not proofread

a/n: yall seem like super excited about this series and im all for it tf

a/n 2: if ts is lowk sad, thats my fault, it was an accident I was listening to partially sad music and rlly got into it

PREVIOUS CHAPTER ~~~ NEXT CHAPTER

~

over the past few days, matt and amelias friendship had gotten closer, while y/n and matts was no less than just the title of ‘dating’. they didnt hang out, they didnt talk much and they didnt go on dates. but when y/n did ask matt to do anything, it was always ‘cant. im with amelia’ or ‘cant. ill be with amelia then’. it was always amelia this, amelia that. but never ‘sure baby! i totally want to hangout with my girlfriend’

y/n was fucking over it. she wanted to talk with matt about this all. she wasnt fucking gonna deal with het own boyfriend not acting like her boyfriend.

so, thats where she found herself, standing behind matt where he sat with amelia next to him. it was very obvious was she was being more than friendly to him, her hand was caressing his arm and her eyes were staring deeply into his. y/n bit her lip, fighting back the urge to bitch slap amelia.

y/n ran her hands through matts hair, annoucing her presence. matt flinched at the sudden touch, whipping his head around to look at who had just touched his hair. his eyes softening and a small smile creeping onto his lips when he saw who it was.

“matt? can we talk please?” y/n asked, her eyes studying matts features, god how she missed being this close to him, to be able to admire him.

matt turned his head to look at amelia, before looking back at y/n, “im talking with amelia, maybe later?” he asked. remorse present in his voice.

y/n moved her hand away from him and took a step back from them, refusing to look at amelia, as her eyes glossed over and a lump in her throat grew. breathing grew harder and she knew talking wouldnt be any easier.

“y- yeah. thats fine.” she mumbled, her voice breaking, she took a breath in. and began walking away, but not before saying a quick “I love you” to him out of instinct. she took slower steps away, expecting one back, she wanted to hear him say he loved her too.

but when she didnt hear one back and only heard him resume talking to amelia, her eyes immediately lost all control over the tears in her eyes, the hot tears running down her cheeks faster than she could comprehend. she held her breath, trying to make no sound obvious to the sobs she wanted to let out. but she couldnt let matt know how upset she was about this, and she certainly didnt want amelia feeling the satisfaction of making her cry.

y/n moved quickly, leaving the library where that entire interaction went down and pushed past the doors of the school, walking quick to her car.

she opened the door and sat inside, closing it the door and immediately breaking down, her sobs being loud, her tears being fast as they poured down her cheeks and her breathing incredibly hard.

she couldnt fucking believe it, her own boyfriend chose some other girl over her.

the boy she used to kiss goodnight and sleep in his arms every weekend, the boy she used to be able to come to and expect not to be lonely, the boy she knew she could come to when she was upset or when she just wanted company. but now she wasnt sure if she could, matt only wanted to be with amelia and not y/n.

does he understand how much he meant means to y/n? hes the reason shes not lonely, he was the reason she was able to fall asleep so peacefully at night, he was the reason she was happy everyday, so content with life and now she couldnt have that anymore because of that stupid fucking girl. stupid fucking bitch named amelia.

she took him away from her and she didnt know what to do. its obvious matt wasnt interested in y/n and was only interested in amelia and what she wanted to say or do, not the girl he dedicated his life to, not the girl he told ‘im yours’, not the girl he used to say ‘I love you’ to every time he possibly could.

y/n just wasnt her, not amelia, not what matt wanted, she didnt have beautiful green eyes like amelia did, she didnt have that lovely orange color of hair amelia did, she didnt have naturally beautiful freckles covering her skin like amelia did. amelia was her, and y/n wasnt.

y/n only cried harder, pulling her knees to her chest and hiding her face in her knees, sobs escaping her throat. being so gutural, it scratched her throat with each sound leaving her lips. but that didnt compare with the aching pain she felt in her chest, the lump in her throat being so big she could barely breathe.

what matt had dismissed earlier so easily wasnt so easy to handle with for y/n. all she wanted was matt to be her boyfriend and act like it.

she wanted to dial his number and call him, but she couldnt run to him like she always did. he wasnt going to be there for her like he always was, but he was going to be there for amelia.

a pit in her stomach formed with the overgrowing urge to run to matt, her body so familar with always going to matt, being so familar with his hands rubbing her back as sweet words left his lips, his voice lulling her to the warm hug of being okay. but she couldnt have him, she couldnt have the same comforting feeling he brought her.

she wanted him, she needed him but he wasnt within her arms reach anymore and she felt sick. sick with words she wanted to tell him. sick with the need of feeling matts touch. sick to her stomach with just wanting matt in her prescense, he wouldnt even have to do anything. she just wanted him with her with the gentle reminder he wanted her too and in the same room, but instead he was talking with another girl, giving his attention to another girl.

‘another girl, another girl’ was all y/n heard, her thoughts screaming into her ears.

1107 words.

@luverboychris @chrissturniolosfavoritesexdoll @meg-sturniolo @junnniiieee07 @genshin-addict @mels22lunchbox @ssilentzom @haunted-headset @dollyspsychoxo @sturnib-tch @b2cute @livvy4realll @graysturns @wh0resstuff @jnkvivi @mattsmad @sturn-bugz @sleepysturnss @xbabyd0lli3x @norr1ssturni0lo @nayveetbhh @jamiesturniolo

[mydearesthrry]

hey love, im absolutely in love w your writing and wanted to ask if you could write something about harry asking reader/(y/n) out? maybe he’s super nervous cause he’s been crushing on her for awhile <3

obvious - h.s.

a/n: thank you for the request, lovie! this got a little messy but i hope i lived up to your wishes a little. enjoyyyy <3

🎀 warnings/cw: nothing, fluff ofc, harry being a little nervy boy

🐇 pairing: actress!reader x harry styles

💐 wc: 1.1k

summary: y/n thought she was being so obvious- looks like she was wrong.

“You look incredible,” Harry mutters, eyes trying to stray off of his script in an attempt to memorize it for the scene the next day. “I’ve been thinking we should try something crazy…” He pauses, trying to let the scene play out as accurately as possible. “Let’s have a baby.” 

A few beats pass. “What?” YN follows, a bewildered look in her eyes. Harry just smiles, eyes flicking down at his script, nodding when he remembered his line. 

“I mean, not right this second, obviously, we don’t have time. But…” Throwing the words around in his head, trying to ignore his chest squeezing at how accurate his next words were in reference to her, “I love you, and I want more of you, and now I think I want a little you. I don’t know. It’d be an adventure.”

Their eyes catch each other, and they share a look that they both couldn’t explain even meant. YN dropped her gaze first before clearing her throat and shifting on the sofa. “Yeah, that was great, H. I think we’ll do well tomorrow.” 

Harry sniffed and looked down at his script, flipping back to the title page. “Um– yeah, we will.” 

Fuck. Harry thought. His hands kept fidgeting, left leg bouncing up and down. He wasn’t even anxious, per se, but he felt so incredibly nervous because of the pretty angel sitting next to him. He’d been pining over her since he was a teenager, watching all of her movies the day they came out, and listening to all of the tracks that she’d sung on every soundtrack. He even went on a spontaneous trip with the boys when they were in New York just to see her perform on Broadway. 

So safe to say, when he got the call back that he’d gotten the role of Jack Chambers in Don’t Worry Darling, he was doing somersaults when he found out who his on screen wife would be. It felt crazy to him that his dreams from when he was in tenth year had finally come to fruition— kind of. The two had a weird relationship at first, YN being extremely closed off and standoffish at the beginning, but she slowly let Harry break down her cemented walls that she’s had up for so long. She didn’t know why, but for some reason, Harry was one of the only people that she allowed to get to know her– fully, at least. 

“Okay, pretty boy, it’s getting pretty late, and I have an earlier call time tomorrow than you do, so I think I’m gonna head out now.” Standing up, she brushed off the front of her gray sweatpants, showing up to Harry’s flat in the most comfortable clothes possible since she knew she would be there for a while. She picked up their now empty wine glasses, them having shared a glass or two throughout the course of the night. 

Harry didn’t give any response and an awkward silence filled the air, almost suffocating as YN stared at Harry in confusion. “H?” 

Nothing. 

Harry was lost in his thoughts, seemingly. I need to do it now, but what if she says no! What if I’ve been misreading her this entire time and she’s just being nice? But that wouldn’t even make sense, would it? She’s been picking up what I’ve been putting down… I think? Has she? Fuck… Wait, wait what? Is she leaving? Why’s she slipping her shoes on?

“Wait,” Harry managed to choke out, YN halting her movements immediately. “Don’t– um, don’t leave, please? Come sit down, I wanna… I wanna ask y’something.” 

Fuck, he was really doing this. 

“Been trying to tell you that I’m leaving for like, ten minutes now, Babe.” She laughed, toeing her shoe off, dropping the other one she had in her hand onto the floor. 

“What’s up? What’s the matter?” She traced his face with her eyes, clocking his distant look that was written all over his face. 

“Bug, have t’tell y’something, but if I’m wrong, y’have to tell me, promise?” Harry mumbled, eyes flicking down to his hands where he was fidgeting with his ringless fingers. His rings were in a velvety cinched bag that YN, of course, had gotten him at a little thrift shop they found. 

“Promise, babe. Now, what is it, is everything okay?” She gripped the bottom of his chin in an attempt to get him to look at her. It began reminding her of the scene they filmed earlier of their characters in the living room in a very vulnerable state. 

He was too nervous to say his next words to even realize she'd called him babe. “I… I- um- I don’t want this t’ruin our relationship, but I have t’tell y’cause it’s been basically eating at me, but I… I really like y’and I want nothing more than t’take y’out on a date. But, if y’don’t feel the same don’t worry! I jus’ didn’t want to not tell y’and ruin our friendship or anything, even though now I fear I’ve made it wors-” 

“Oh my God,” She cut him off, giggles that soon turned into full on cackles filling the air. He watched her in fear, a worried look now on his face at the thought that she was laughing at him. “Harry, sweet boy, I would love to go out with you.” 

“I- you- wha- what? I… I don’t think I understand?” He stumbled, her actions and words not adding up in his YN clouded brain. 

“I thought I was being so obvious about how I felt about you, H. Sorry for not being more clear, that’s on me. Is this why you’ve been so distant and weird with me lately? You’ve been acting like this just ‘cause you have a crush on me?” She tried to understand, but by the look on his face she could see that he was really not getting what was even happening right now. “Babe, I’ve liked you since I watched you in the crowd of the first AMA’s you went to. I didn’t even get to meet you, but I’ve liked you since I’ve seen you, and it honestly’s gotten worse since I have to pretend to be your wife on screen.” 

Harry was bewildered. “So, y’telling me, that all this time I’ve just had to ask? Instead of torturing myself every night?” 

“Yeah, bug, that’s what ‘M telling you,” She giggled, moving closer to him on the couch. “We’re doing this backward, I think. How’s it that I’ve had your literal tongue in my mouth before you’ve even taken me out on a date?” 

“Well, when you put it that way!” He laughs, pulling her onto his lap like he’s always wanted and waited to do. They sat in silence for a few beats, letting their eyes roam around their faces without worrying about the director yelling 'Cut!'.

“What’re you waiting for? Gonna ask me out officially?” She whispered, moving her face closer to Harry, them being able to now feel their breaths waft between them. 

“Nah, gonna kiss y’first, officially as us, and not as Jack and Alice.” Harry mumbled.

"Yeah?"

"Mhm."

And when their lips finally touched as Y/N and Harry, the teenage boy in Harry was practically doing backflips and somersaults, knowing that his dreams had finally come true.

[writethrough]

Life Guard

(Billy Hargrove x Female Reader)

Synopsis: It's the middle of summer and everyone decides to go to the pool. You don't know how to swim, but at least Billy's on duty.

Warnings: Language, almost drowning, protective Billy

Word Count: 3169

A/N: Here's that protective Billy fic I was talking about! Also, is the title cheesy? It's definitely cheesy. Should I change it? And I just had to use this gif. I mean, look at his back!

The hottest day of the year meant one thing: pool day. Everyone had agreed to meet there after picking up their assigned children.

“I’m pretty sure this is what Hell feels like,” Erica said after closing her door.

You chuckled and agreed, pulling out of the Sinclair driveway.

“You both brought your sunscreen, right,” you asked, looking in your rearview mirror at Lucas and Erica.

They nodded.

“Good. Max?” You glanced toward her before turning back to the road.

“Do you really need to ask?” She tugged gently at her hair.

“Just checking,” you said. “I have extra if anyone needs it.”

It didn’t take you long to reach the pool. When you arrived, Steve, Robin, and Dustin were already there.

You caught the last second of Steve cannonballing and splashing Dustin when Robin waved you all over.

“Finally! The testosterone was becoming too much!” Robin said, dramatic as ever.

“Have you been here long?” You set your bag beside the lounger and took a seat. Max, Lucas, and Erica didn’t waste any time jumping in.

“Ten whole minutes,” she whined, making you chuckle.

“Then it’s a good thing I got here when I did,” you said, grinning.

You relaxed into your chair after slipping your sandals off. The umbrella provided enough coverage to keep the sun off you. It was as cool as you were going to get out here.

Not knowing how to swim certainly put a damper on things during the summer months, but it was never something you were in a rush to learn. For you, summer meant working and saving up for college, not hanging out at the pool—one of the many reasons your friends insisted you come with them. They all knew you couldn’t swim. They also knew a public pool wasn’t the most conducive to learning, but you knew it’d be fine. Robin and Nancy would sit and chat with you anyway. The boys and the kids were the ones who took full advantage of the water.

“So,” Robin grinned, leaning in closer, “who do you think's gonna get water up their nose first?”

You tapped your chin as if in serious thought. “Dustin.”

“I was thinking the same.” She nodded as if you had concluded an important meeting.

Said child seemed to be having a race with Steve and Lucas toward the deep end while Erica and Max were leaning on pool noodles and laughing.

Faintly, a lifeguard’s whistle was mixed with shrieks of joy and splashes. The piece of metal fell to the guard’s exposed chest. Your eyes trailed along his strong shoulders and neck to land on his face.

Billy.

The heat in your cheeks was no longer from the weather.

Your friendship with Billy Hargrove was unexpected, to say the least. His friendship with the rest of your group—even more so. Fighting an interdimensional monster would do that to someone.

He’d changed a lot since last summer. Fortunately, it was for the better. It was obvious in the way he handled his job here. Billy had ruled the pool with an iron fist before. Now, he was less severe. You’d been here a few times already this summer, and not once had he threatened banishment to some too-excited kid who disregarded the safety rules.

You clocked the scars along his abdomen.

It had taken months of reassurance and support for him to take his shirt off. Before then, you never would have described Billy as insecure, but the Mind Flayer stole so much from him. You were just thankful it wasn’t worse. Joyce had closed the gate right on time.

Now, he sat in his chair with his shoulders back, relaxed, and surveyed the area like he used to.

Though he wore sunglasses, you knew he was looking at you when his head stopped in your direction.

You gave him a small smile and a little wave, and he answered with a flirty smirk of his own.

“Get a room,” Robin groaned. “You’re both ridiculous!”

You playfully swatted her.

She’d known for a while now how you felt about Billy. She had caught you staring a little too long, then at a sleepover, made you spill. And it brought you such relief to tell someone.

“C’mon, you’ve been flirting for months!”

“You know he flirts with everyone,” you said.

“Not since what happened,” she countered. “And I know you’ve noticed it, too.”

You had, but you were sure it was just because you'd been there. He had no reason to hide from you. And that gave him the space to be himself again. It’d only be a matter of time before he was chatting up one of the women strutting by his tower trying to get his attention.

She sighed. “All I’m saying is, I think you should give it a chance.” She poked your arm. “You have chemistry, and I know you’d be good together.”

You squeezed her hand. “Thank you.”

She stood, stretching. “Anytime. Now, I’m gonna get something from the vending machine. Any requests?”

“Whatever you’re getting.”

She nodded, walking toward the machines.

You pulled out your book, determined to finish it before you left the pool. Or before Billy got off his shift.

“Hey, (Y/N)!” Dustin called. “Can you bring me my goggles?”

“Sure!” You scooped them up from the edge of Robin’s chair and walked over to him. “Here”

“Thanks.” He gave you that smile you loved.

“Where’s Steve?” you asked, looking around.

“He’s gonna do the high dive. I think he’s trying to impress the girl in the blue bikini,” he said, nodding across the pool.

You shook your head slightly. “He knows that won’t actually work, right?”

He shrugged. “I tried to tell him.”

“In other words, ice cream is a must after this.” You usually followed the same rulebook for Steve’s failed flirting as you did for Robin: ice cream and a bitch sesh.

“Ice cream is always a must.”

You laughed, eyes focused on his smiling face.

Maybe if you were paying more attention, you would’ve seen the little boy running to the diving boards. You may have moved in time to avoid him bumping into you and sending you straight into the deep end.

—

Billy spotted you the moment you walked toward Robin with your gaggle of children. Max had told him she’d be here with the rest of your group. So, when the first to arrive were Steve, Robin, and Dustin, he deflated a little.

Ten minutes later, he straightened and ran a hand through his hair. He hadn’t felt like this since he was a little kid. You made his stomach twist in the best possible way and your smile? He’d do anything to see it.

Every so often, he’d glance back your way. You and Robin laughed at something and his lips ticked up ever so slightly.

He always kept an eye on you. He didn’t want to miss the way your shoulders shook as you laughed. Or the smile you gave El when she wanted you to watch her hold her breath. Or the view he’d get when you bent over facing toward or away from him—he didn’t know which he preferred.

He also knew you couldn’t swim. And every time you showed up, he watched you—made sure you stayed away from the edge. Part of him wished you wouldn’t come to the pool, but the selfish side loved when you did.

It was easier when he was off duty. He didn’t have to pay attention to everyone else. He’d sit at the foot of your lounger and talk to you while the others swam. You’d poke him with your toes if he flustered you too much, and he’d grab your feet and move closer to put them on his lap. He’d graze a finger up the bottom of one, and when you went to pull away, he’d grip your ankle and laugh, promising not to do it again.

You’d ask him to reapply sunscreen to your back. And each time he’d massage it into your shoulders, your neck—his thumbs pushing the tension away—down until he reached your swimsuit, and then move onto your arms. You’d always tell him you could do that part, and he’d grunt at you, wanting to touch you a little longer.

Then, when he finished, you’d offer the same, and he’d turn around, stifling a moan when your hands rubbed his shoulders and down his spine. He’d tease you, ask if you could do his chest, to which you rolled your eyes, but did it anyway because you told him once you didn’t think he applied enough to begin with. You never said it was because you liked touching him, too.

He continued scanning the rest of the pool. It wouldn’t be long before his shift ended, and he could finally join you.

Everything was relatively calm—kids playing, parents sitting with one another, high schoolers gossiping as they floated. Everything was normal.

“(Y/N)!”

His head shot to the panicked voice, dread clawing his gut.

Dustin’s arms waved frantically at Billy.

Where were you?

And he dove in.

You were sinking, bubbles no longer escaping your mouth. And the feeling in his gut worsened as your eyes slowly closed.

He’d taken his eyes away from you for a second.

That was all it took.

Just one second.

He wrapped an arm around your waist, using the other to propel himself upward.

Dustin was still panicking and had gathered the attention of his friends, who had rushed forward when Billy emerged.

Billy vaguely noticed Steve above him.

“Help me get her out,” Billy called. “Lay her down.”

Steve hauled you by your arms, using the towel around his neck as a pillow. Billy was beside you in a moment doing compressions.

“C’mon,” he muttered before pinching your nose and pushing air into your lungs. “C’mon.”

Each press into your chest made his hurt.

He couldn’t lose you. He just couldn’t. Not like this, not when you survived so much. Not when you’d become so important to him. Not before he could tell you.

You coughed, water spurting from your throat as you instinctively turned to get it out.

Relief washed over him.

“It’s okay, baby. Just breathe,” he whispered, rubbing your back. “You’re okay. I’ve got you.”

Your coughing slowly subsided, but your breath shook, and the urge to cry crept up your nose. You’d been so close. You felt the water burning your lungs as you sunk further and further.

Billy’s body heat comforted you as you shivered. You rested your head in the crook of his neck. The warmth of his skin made you shudder at the contrast. All the energy had been drained from you. You were just so cold, so fucking scared.

“I’ve got you, honey,” he repeated, placing a towel around your shoulders. “Let’s go to a chair, okay?”

He was so gentle with you, only his tone registering, but whatever he was saying, you’d agree with.

He hooked an arm under your knees and his other around your back and walked you to one of the Adirondack chairs.

Kneeling in front of you, he covered your hands with his.

“(Y/N).”

You stared at your joined hands, wanting to burrow into him to have some semblance of warmth.

“Sweetheart, I need you to look at me,” he said.

You did.

“You’re safe now.” He used one hand to graze the side of your thigh. “How ‘bout I take you home?”

You slowly nodded. This was the last place you wanted to be. Your nerves felt so exposed here.

“Okay.” He smiled gently, brushing your forehead with his lips as he rose to his feet.

“Here,” Robin said, setting your tote beside you. She placed a hand on your shoulder, and you touched it in thanks.

Billy pulled your coverup out of it and slipped it over your head.

“C’mon,” he shouldered your bag, “let’s go home.”

His arm went around your waist as he led you through the locker room to get his belongings.

When you got to his car, he placed you in the passenger seat and hooked you.

The way to your home was silent. And that was okay. You were still trying to settle yourself, and just being out of there helped.

Billy had put a hand on your thigh, needing to remind himself that you were next to him—that you were still breathing.

It comforted you—he did that in general. Maybe in a different situation, it would fill your stomach with butterflies. But right now, it was the contact you needed.

He was right here. And so were you.

You were grateful your parents were out when you arrived. You didn’t think you could handle any questions.

Billy’s hand was at the small of your back as you walked inside and went to your room to change. And he went to the kitchen to get you some water.

You got out of that swimsuit as fast as you could. Once Billy left, all you wanted was for him to come back.

It was like your chest didn’t hurt as much when he was in your line of sight.

He’d changed out of his suit and was waiting on the couch, patting the back of it when he saw you.

“Feel any better?” he asked.

You nodded slowly. “A bit.”

“What about inside? Anything hurt?” He leaned toward you, scanning your figure like he could pinpoint those spots.

“I’m fine, Billy,” you said. “Really. Maybe a little shaky, but that’s it. You don’t…” You didn’t want him to go, but you didn’t want to force him to stay. “You can go back if you want to. I know you wanted to hang out with everyone.” You didn’t want to feel like a burden. Billy deserved more than being tied down here with you.

He didn’t speak.

He wanted to hang out with you. He may have befriended everyone else, but you were the one he wanted to be around.

You had stopped shaking and coughing. Your breathing seemed normal, and the fear in your eyes was gone. You looked more exhausted than anything.

But still, he kept flashing back to you sinking.

He could’ve lost you. If Dustin hadn’t yelled, you might not be here. And he feared if he left you now, it’d somehow all be a dream. You wouldn't be sitting next to him. You’d be at the bottom of the pool, and he’d have to live with the guilt of not being able to save you.

But you were here. And you were okay. And he had to keep reminding himself of that.

“Let me stay,” he breathed, eyes pleading.

Yours softened, and you nodded.

He gave you a grateful smile. “Good. How about a movie? You can pick anyone you want, sweetheart.”

The pet name sent shivers up your spine, and he noticed. A concerned look covered his features.

“Are you okay? Are you still cold?” he asked, scooting closer.

You shook your head. You were definitely far from cold.

“Does it hurt anywhere?”

“Billy, I’m fine,” you urged.

“You inhaled a lot of water—”

“I promise.” You put a hand over his. “I just…I like when you call me that.” You played with your fingers, avoiding his gaze.

His face pulled in confusion. When he called you what?

He tried to think of what you were talking about, and then it dawned on him. He hadn’t even noticed he’d been doing it.

A grin spread across his face.

“You like it when I call you ‘sweetheart’?” He moved, his knee touching yours.

You nodded slightly.

“What about ‘honey’?” His head tilted so he could try and meet your eyes.

Again, you nodded, but the smallest of smiles tugged at your lips.

“And ‘baby’?” He lifted your chin with a finger, and your breath hitched.

“Yes,” you whispered. “I like it.”

“How would you feel if I used them all the time?”

You bit the inside of your cheek, but the smile still spread. “I’d like it.”

“And what if I wanted to use them in front of our friends? Would you be okay with that?” he asked, leaning in.

“Only if you asked me out first,” you said.

He chuckled. “Could I still kiss you right now?”

“You better.”

His lips pressed against yours a second later. He tasted like mint and the barest traces of smoke and chlorine. He pulled you into his lap so you straddled him, and your hands cupped both sides of his neck. 

You loved how warm he was. Every time you saw him, you wanted to burrow beneath his clothing and find a home there. You didn’t know if it was his Cali sun-kissed skin, or maybe the fire from his cigarettes, or a combination of both, but it was entirely Billy.

His hand trailed up your back to your neck, his other gripping your thigh, trying to plant you there. And part of you wished he’d squeeze harder so the bruises would remind you of this moment.

But you had to pull away.

You panted into each other's mouths, foreheads pressed together. And his hands slid to your waist and wrapped around you, hugging you to him.

“There’s somethin’ I have to tell you,” he whispered, lips brushing your cheek.

“You can tell me anything,” you said, thumb rubbing his jaw.

“I love you.”

You pulled back to look at him better. “What?”

“I,” he cleared his throat, “I love you.”

You caught the panic in his eyes, but before he could move, you put your hands atop his.

“I love you,” you breathed, smiling.

He laughed, cupping your cheeks to kiss you—soft and sweet, and it felt like love.

“Does this mean I can call you ‘baby’?” you asked, a teasing lit to your voice.

He grinned, pulling you closer by your hips. “You better.”

He kissed you again, and you had the passing thought that you could do this all the time.

—

The next time you went to the pool, Billy had a lounger and umbrella for you right behind the lifeguard chair.

He greeted you with a kiss, his hand slipping down to squeeze your ass. But you caught it. As much as you liked how physical he was, you weren’t about to let the other pool goers see.

“You shouldn’t have anything to worry about, honey. Just sit back and relax,” he said.

“Why’s that?” you asked, pushing one of his curls behind his shoulder.

“‘Cause I banned that little shit.” He shrugged.

“I’m pretty sure you can’t actually do that,” you said, laughing lightly.

“But he doesn’t.” He kissed you again. “I’ve got you, sweetheart. Now, enjoy the show.” He winked, then reclaimed his place on his chair.

You shook your head slightly but did as he said. And at one point, when you called out a ‘baby’ to get his attention, you knew the flush on his cheeks wasn’t from the sun.

[sunshine-jesse]

The Incest End is Not The Bad End, Part 3: The Only End I Know For Real

Alt title: We're roleplaying the endings, not choosing them.

I've focused a lot before on how sickly sweet the chemistry between Ashley and Andrew is and how unproblematic their relationship would actually be under different circumstances, mostly societal ones. I mostly did so to counter the idea that the incest end was primarily a bad end and bring up the assertion that it was the one with the most hope. In doing so, I basically interpreted all of the text within the game in a very positive light, giving off the impression that I think it'll be all sunshine and roses. The reality couldn't be further from the truth? While I think it's the end with the most hope, I ALSO think it'll be incredibly difficult for everyone involved.

As a matter of fact, I think the Questionable end will be the most difficult one to navigate through for Ashley herself.

"But wait," you say, alarm bells ringing in your head, "doesn't she literally fucking die in the Decay ending?"

And I don't think it's that obvious.

First off, why do I think the Questionable end will be difficult to navigate through? After all, Andrew is calm, collected, and Ashley is just a little bit nervous about how he's changing. She also has that ultimate leverage over him, knowing that he's sexually attracted to her and she can use it to keep him by her side. There's little for anyone to worry about, right? Well, no. Not really. As another analyst has pointed out, in the Questionable ending, Ashley has no OTHER leverage over Andrew.

The trinket? Shown to be only situationally useful to them. The future visions don't always show danger, sometimes the demon can just troll them. Sleep? No, he no longer needs Ashley for that. A scapegoat? Not even that. In the Burial ending, he starts to take responsibility for the violence he inflicts on others and has no need to pin the blame on Ashley.

Outside of sex, Ashley is more or less useless to him now, at least in her own mind. Truthfully, Ashley is still the most important person in the world to Andrew and doesn't seem to need a reason to keep her around anymore, but Ashley doesn't realize that; it's part of why she's so confused and uncertain. Their dynamic is changing, and she doesn't like it. But in the Questionable ending, all Andrew has to do is not have sex with Ashley (easier said than done if the fanbase [myself] is any indication) and she'll have nothing left. She'll likely have no other choice but to look inward at this point, especially if Andrew doesn't give off any of the usual red flags that make her think he'd leave her.

There's a good chance at this point that their dynamic will flip entirely. Ashley will be the one who needs comfort, and Andrew shows every indication of being emotionally stable enough to provide it. We'll see some Real Mental Illness instead of Possible To Infer But Maybe Problematic To Do So Mental Illness. Whether or not she changes for the better or worse will likely determine the ending we'll get.

…

Except probably not.

Sane vs Questionable can't be THAT different, or we'd be getting 3A, 3B, 3C, and 3D instead of 3A and 3B. And, y'know what? Now I'm gonna start reaching really hard into theory territory rather than just analysis. So, hear me out here.

Both dreams are canon no matter the ending. The only difference is whether or not Andrew sleeps or not; if he does, the vision he gets is for HIM, and Ashley only incidentally sees it. It's much more important to him than to Ashley, because Ashley doesn't get a clear vision like she did in the motel. If them fucking was actually relevant to Ashley, she likely would've seen it no matter the ending. Her reactions reflect this; at first, she appears weirded out, maybe uncomfortable. Then she finds it hilarious. She considers it as a means of manipulation, sure, but the writing is on the wall: She won't NEED to do so no matter what.

Unfortunately, due to her not being able to open both doors, she won't be able to realize this. Oops!

At this point in time it's basically impossible to ascertain what her own personal vision means. I've given my interpretation before, but I ultimately have my doubts that the specific sequence of events is all to relevant. Most weird dream metaphors are clear parallels to past events, but the dream seems to be a metaphor for what the future will hold. The most relevant part is not the ghosts, but instead how Ashley reacts to what is clearly Andrew's soul. She jokes about trapping it in the bottle, but it being as a joke more than anything is a far cry from how desperate her attempts to keep him normally seem. So what gives? What does this mean?

I think, funnily enough, the Decay ending holds the answer.

My most-distanced-from-a-literal-or-metaphorical-reading-of-the-text-but-is-relatively-easy-to-accept theory is that the choices we are given in the game aren't asking us what we want to see from them, but rather, how we see the characters and their relationship. People are distracted by the idea of choice, but the reality is that we're being asked to roleplay (this is an RPG after all) as the siblings and do what we expect them to do. This isn't about choice. This is about BEING them and DOING WHAT WE THINK THEY'D DO.

Here's what I mean.

If we interpret Ashley as having trust in Andrew and his judgment, then it makes perfect sense she'd trust him with her parents. She might be a little worried, but it's pretty clear that her overwhelming desire to keep Andrew by her side is underscored by genuine love and trust. From there, if we interpret Andrew as having genuine love for his sister and a desire to take care of her, then it becomes everyone else's problem that they can't be together; not his. In killing their parents, he comes to terms with this and self-actualizes. He's willing to take responsibility for the violence he inflicts on others and has no discomfort with dismembering them.

But if you interpret Andrew as viewing Ashley as a burden and a problem, he can't bring himself to save their parents and have a better life because he views himself as too far gone. He hates himself as much as Ashley hates herself for being unable to break free from her influence. He still feels like she's his responsibility, but the love that exists there is greatly muted and overshadowed by his sense of responsibility and a carnal, physical desire for her. Knowing this is likely part of the reason he hates himself; part of the reason he can't let go.

He, crucially, also squanders Ashley's genuine display of trust. It's HIS fault that things break apart, which is why the skull appears over his head when you accept the mom's offer. Ashley genuinely, seriously loves Andrew and wants what's best for him. She's posessive, but her care is a lot less selfish than Andrew thinks, and he can't see that because he's too blinded by his hatred and (partially sexual) frustration to see who she really is.

On the other side of things, if you view Ashley as being a primarily toxic influence that views Andrew as more of an object than anything, she doesn't trust Andrew to deal with their parents and it's HER fault that things break apart, as the skull appears over her head. She sees him as an object, as a child or toy. She sees him as Andy, not Andrew, and can't process the fact that he can change. It's very overbearingly maternalistic, and I believe this specific choice is the only one where Ashley is actually more like their mother than Andrew, eye colors be damned.

In Burial, she wants to share the vision with Andrew, and he wants to share it with her, because their feelings are genuine and mutual and they want to share the experience (because they might get two visions from it, sure, but the principle isn't that much different) But in Decay, she keeps it to herself. She doesn't trust him or his input, either because she doesn't view his feelings as important or because he either almost squandered her trust (if she was listening in), or because he was generally hostile and disincentivized her from wanting to share.

There are other examples too, like when we're allowed to control Andrew to kill the hitman. If we view him as unprepared or unwilling to kill, we empty the whole clip because he's nervous and doesn't want to do this. If we view him as prepared, calm, and in control, he kills in one clean shot without much of an issue. Washing the [REDACTED] out of the shower drain? We basically get to see if Ashley is actually all that competent at housework or not, and if we don't know the right order, neither does she.

This comes to a head in both of the endings.

In the Questionable ending, we're shown that Andrew slept through the dream. We see what he really wants and the depths of his true feelings. He has very obvious romantic feelings for Ashley, and it's not just physical desire. Ashley's very obviously obsessed with Andrew still, but the fact that he can be present in every painting shows that she ACTUALLY views him that way. She's not just seeking validation; her feelings are real, and she knows it.

Remember, this dream is SHARED. We are seeing how BOTH of them feel.

In the Sane ending, Andrew isn't present, and Ashley is never given a chance to view their relationship as anything other than platonic. We don't know how Andrew feels, and we're arguably never given a view into Ashley's true feelings either, because that would-be revelation is cut off by a vision (indicated by eyes). We're just shown what she should do, needs to do, or will do.

Because we don't view their relationship as romantic, light is never shone on the reality of their dynamic. We never see how obsessed Ashley really is (if anything, we're being misdirected by being shown the opposite), and we never see that Andrew has romantic- if buried- feelings for Ashley that can't just be passed off as carnal physical desire. But since it's still the Burial ending, the dynamic still clearly exists; the endings would be too different otherwise. We CHOSE how we see their dynamic in the basement scene.

In other words…

Without love, the truth cannot be seen.

Reader who is in the know: "…hey wait a fuckin' minute" Me: "MOVING ON"

At some point- probably early on- the Sane and Questionable endings have to converge. Andrew and Ashley will have to have the nature of their dynamic laid out for them in a way they can't deny, and the likely only difference between Sane and Questionable will be whether or not Andrew is surprised/embarrassed, or just goes "I guess that dickhead demon wasn't just tricking us after all" and then the route will proceed as normal. Whether or not they have sex will likely be determined by your choices in Chapter 3 itself rather than Chapter 2 with this in mind. Either way, I think Ashley will go through most of the chapter confused and uncertain and will be forced to develop as a person, for better or worse.

In the Decay ending, as said, we're shown that Ashley doesn't even attempt to share a vision with Andrew, so we get to see a vision where Ashley's frame of mind isn't one driven by mutual affection. In this route, we see Ashley constantly running from -something,- and given dreams are metaphors, I think it's reasonable to assume that it's showing us that Ashley is primarily motivated by a fear of Andrew. Fear of what, exactly, isn't really clear; we know for a fact that she's afraid of losing him, but she's also afraid of the violence he can inflict upon her. Either way, she runs away, we can see the demon say "hmmm how interesting," and then we get a vision of the future.

But it's important to note, that vision is a metaphor, not a literal vision of the future. It takes place in the dream world- unlike any other vision, which takes place in the real world- and there are no out-of-frame eyes in the CGs like there are in the Questionable route. Also, (albeit less convincingly), all the eyes are in the background rather than on the map themselves, like they are when we see the hitman vision. The eyes only exist in the background in the Sane vision too, further adding to the idea that they're a metaphor.

So. If it's not a literal depiction of what will happen, then what exactly is it a metaphor for? Okay. Hear me out. This is my wildest fucking theory yet.

It's a metaphor for the Burial route. Or rather, the kind of event that happened in the Burial route.

What we are being shown in the metaphor is a reconciliation of their relationship, where their true feelings are laid bare. We are put in a situation where they are forced to decide how they feel for each other once and for all. If Andrew holds all the power in the relationship but has no control or awareness of his feelings- represented by whether he was composed enough or not to unload his entire clip-, he unceremoniously kills Ashley. Without that awareness, Ashley cannot even defend herself. She has no control because she isn't dealing with someone who has any either.

(Whether he actually kills Ashley or just some abstract representation of Leyley isn't clear, but it doesn't matter much for the purpose of analysis.)

But if Andrew does have that awareness of his feelings- represented by only shooting one bullet- they can negotiate. Because Andrew is in control, Ashley is also in control, and she can make one of two choices:

She can choose to save herself (and either maintain the status quo or just fucking kill Andrew depending on how literal the vision is). With this choice, she lets her fear overtake her and discards Andrew- the cause of her fear- like trash. He is an object that only exists for her sake, after all, and she can discard him just as easily as he seemed like her could discard her during the strangulation scene.

She can choose to trust and accept Andrew. And given a heart appears over her head, she can choose to love him, and overcome her fear, even at the cost of either her life or their prior dynamic (once more, depending on how literal it is).

Decay is asking us if we think Ashley is primarily motivated by selfish fear or genuine selfless love. But both exist either way, and their relationship must be understood and reconciled at some point; this route might honestly be their only hope for a platonic good ending, but it's going to be dismal and painful either way.

So with that in mind, why is the gun not relevant to the Burial route (yet) if it's such a strong metaphor?

Because the reconciling event WAS the basement scene.

We had to make that same choice there. Was Ashley too afraid of Andrew's interaction with her parents to let him handle it? Or did she love and trust him enough to make that choice? In choosing yes, the ball in Andrew's court. If he chooses to care for her needs, their relationship evolves. If he or Ashley refuse make that choice, that can is kicked down the road, and their relationship continues to deteriorate.

Or decay, as it may.

But in Burial, with that reconciling event having happened, the ball is in Ashley's court. With Andrew having come to terms with many of his feelings (minus his sexual desire), most of his arc is finished. There's probably still a lot of him to unpack on the Burial route, but in the Decay ending, as long as Ashley shows love for him, the final choice always falls on his shoulders. And with his final choice having been made in Burial, all that's left is Ashley's.

And what final choice will she have to make?

I don't know, I'm not a prophet.

But either way, she'll still have to make the choice of whether or not to be ruled by her fear of losing him, and desperately try to grasp for control she no longer needs, or cast aside that fear and allow for genuine, mutual love to flourish. Think about it this way: When you see a corpse, how do you react? If you don't care for the corpse or fear it, you stay away and let it decay. If the corpse belongs to someone you love, you tend to it and bury it.

And what do I think the best case scenario is? Well, I've made my opinion obvious, but I think there's one final thing I need to emphasize:

You don't claw at someone's back like a wild fucking animal if you're not really into it.

[incorrect-spideytorch]

So, I’ve been thinking a lot about spideytorch lately (as I am one to do) and a question popped into my head:

What is the most important spideytorch comic panel?

There’s a ton of great options in my opinion, but I think there also is an answer (at least for me) so now I am going to subject all of you to my thought process. Get ready for a way to long post breaking this down.

The most obvious starting point has to be this classic

Johnny Storm is going full house husband for Peter Parker, I mean c’mon! add in the fact that he’s in his undies and the way that he’s leaning over peter… yeah this is a classic. This might be the most famous spideytorch panel out there, but I don’t think it’s the most important one.

Another classic (but more antagonistic?) one takes place, of course, at the usual place.

To me this is peak identity shenanigans and the stuff that fanfics are made of. The betrayal, the heartbreak, the complications that go into the conflicting way these two view identity, oh boy I could talk about that shit for hours, but as an individual moment, it doesn’t really crack most important for me, it needs a bit more affection (they’re very bad at affection sometimes).

Another panel that came to mind very quickly for me is this set.

Johnny literally only had to say his name and Peter knew exactly what he meant and what he needed. This is top tier levels of communication, both between them and from the creators to us. I think this is another one that I could talk about for hours. That being said, it doesn’t feel important enough to me.

A friend in the spideytorch discord server posed this panel as the most important spideytorch moment in the comics.

I’m just gonna put their quote in cause it’s great. “I think this is one of my favorite panels cause Johnny was just speaking generally and Peter was like ‘oh my god! Actual wise words form johnny’ but also, I love that this was a more important moment for Peter than Johnny.” I must say, this entry is extremely important to spideytorch and gave my choice a run for its money. I don’t have a huge reason for not making this one the most important, other than personal taste. For their relationship, this is a key moment and sets them on the path to actually being friends (at least on Peter’s end), but idk it just wasn’t doing it for me.

Another panel I was reminded of thanks to this submission was this moment.

It’s not quite as impactful as the past one by a long shot but I do think it’s important. After being rivals for so long, to see Johnny give a genuine heartfelt compliment to Peter is fantastic (haha). This feels like the other half of the previous set of panels. There we had Johnny encouraging a stranger and here he’s encouraging his friend.

Some other friends in the discord server suggested the moment that Johnny invites Peter over to watch his sex tape (yes this is canon).

(Not pictured, Peter swinging away and saying he needs to take a cold shower). Now I’m not saying that the most important spideytorch moment needs to be serious, but I think this moment might be too unserious to claim that title. This moment was huge for the fanbase because holy shit did, he actually say that, but for their relationship, I just don’t think it was as important as it was to us.

Now I do want to knock out a few honorable mentions that I would hate to miss.

First, this look given to Spidey by Johnny, I mean yeah, he’s in love.

And to balance the lovesick flirty scales I must expose Peter as well.

Next, this heartbreaking moment that basically admits to the audience that Peter’s world becomes chaos when he loses Johnny. That shit hits.

Of course, the moment that gave us the ship name.

A panel that lives in my head rent-free because honestly marvel what were you attempting to convey here other than the fact that Peter really wants to have hate sex with Johnny Storm?

To take us outside of our duo, this quote from Ben Grimm (EDIT: it’s was Peter’s clone Ben Reilly, which honestly only adds more drama), because honestly same.

And of course, I have to include the panel which showed us the first time (on page) that Peter told Johnny he loved him AND gave us canon proof that these two have “date night,” many a fic writer was fed well.

And how could we forget! THE USUAL PLACE! Literally any panel mentioning this is top tier because its so good, like the core of the fandom honestly.

Lastly, before moving on to my own more serious contenders I have to share this parallel that @sciderman shared because I love it.

Now to my serious contenders for the title of most important spideytorch panel (please remember this is all my opinion and I mean no shade). This will be a top 5, but just know some of these rankings are pretty flexible (even flexible with some panels from the beginning), and this question should not be taken as seriously as I am taking it, I am fully aware of that.

Number 5!

So, I know that I discounted the sex tape scene earlier because I didn’t think it was serious enough and it didn’t do enough for their actual relationship, but I had to include this one I’m sorry. A lot of this is personal taste but the implications here are *chefs kiss* The first time I saw this panel was actually on Pinterest with the caption “wait a second, did spider-man and the human torch have sex?” which says it all for me.

Beyond that, this moment also shows how they reach out to each other when they have problems. Strange children show up in Peter’s life and the first person he calls about it is Johnny. Again, this is not the most serious, but I love it. This moment shows the banter of their relationship, how they care about and rely on each other, and also potentially reveals that they’ve had sex. There’s a lot to take in.

Number 4!

I will be honest with you all, this moment is here almost entirely because Ben’s quote lives in my head rent-free. Everyone around them sees how they feel about each other besides them. When they were rivals others could tell they actually liked each other and when they became friends others could tell that it was deeper than that. I think I especially love this panel because it conforms that we’re not crazy for thinking there’s something there but also because Ben specifically cites the way Johnny looks at peter. That is very specific and says a lot. I can’t imagine Ben would say this if the looks Johnny gave Peter were purely platonic, and just ahhhh, there’s so much said here just in one line from Ben. There was of course the Ben moment earlier, which I also love, but something about this one, the more specific phrasing of it I think just shoots it up my rankings a lot.

Number 3!

If you’ve been following me for a while I don’t think this is a surprise at all, I have already done a very in depth post about this panel so I’ll keep my thoughts brief. Red Skull knows that hurting Johnny will hurt Peter, Peter’s Spidey senses go off FOR JOHNNY, and we are given so much angst potential, I love it.

Number 2!

This one is probably a more popular choice than my number one, and I totally get it. The excitement and joy bursting out of Peter when he finally realizes that Johnny is here, he’s real, and he’s alive really gets me. Plus, the added context to the uniform comment being that Johnny literally left Peter his family and his spot on the team in his will. The amount of pure love in this moment and its larger context is abundant, platonic or romantic, it’s there. I feel like everything I could say about this panel has probably been said before, but it is definitely worthy of being the most important spideytorch moment, even if I have one that beats it for me.

Number 1!

For those of you who don’t know, this panel comes from Peter visiting Gwen’s grave and talking to her. That fact alone breaks me in half but then the things he says to her shatter me. Every spider-man fan knows how much Gwen’s death broke Peter, it destroyed him to lose her. Just the fact that Peter admits Johnny brings part of him back is amazing (haha) because that is a hug feat. But then he shatters me even more with his final sentences. After Gwen’s death, we often get a peter who spends too much time as Spidey in order to avoid having to cope with Gwen’s death as Peter, but also as a way to cope with the loss (he’s a complicate man). Spideypool also gets a lot from that arc because of Wade’s reaction to Spider-Man not holding back as much and becoming less of a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, and that’s true. The fact that Peter feels like he’s becoming who Spidey is supposed to be again when he’s around johnny is huge! But then! He corrects himself. He’s not Spidey again, he’s Peter. The real person, the man behind the mask, comes back. And then you get the final correction. He’s not just peter again, he’s *Gwen’s* peter again. He is the him that existed with Gwen when he’s with Johnny. That speaks volumes and breaks whatever parts of me are left. How am I expected to read this and not think that Johnny and Peter are soulmates?

Now, I will acknowledge that this is much more of a peter moment than a joint spideytorch moment, much like the moment suggested by discord friend earlier. If that disqualifies it for you as the most important spideytorch panel, I get it. However, for me that doesn’t matter mainly for one key reason. So many classic spideytorch moments show a lot of Johnny having feelings for Peter or making a move on Peter. There have been a lot of times when I’m trying to get a friend into spideytorch, and I feel like I have to clarify that its not as one sided as it seems. Johnny is much more out there with who he is and doesn’t hide his feelings very well (except maybe from himself). So, when we get any spideytorch moment that hones in on peter’s feelings and love for Johnny, that feels so huge to me. This moment alone proves that it isn’t one sided, Peter has deep feelings for Johnny, even if he’s not sure what they are yet, he knows that what they have is special, he wouldn’t be telling Gwen about it otherwise. While it may not be as famous of a spideytorch moment, its an important one, and for me it’s probably the most important one.

Anyway, this has been a way too long post about this topic but if you made it to the end thank you so much! I would love to hear other people’s thoughts on this topic so feel free to share those. Also, just a reminder that these are my opinions, and I am not in charge at all so don’t take it too seriously (unless you want to).

If you’re interested in hearing me, go more in depth on any of these panels (or any other spideytorch panels) shoot me an ask because I could honestly talk in depth for a while about most of these panels and I would love to do so. Thank you again for reading this way to long post and good night spideytorch nation.

[extrastranszanepropaganda]

OKAY SO!

Diares Rewrite - Divine Relics And Their Warriors

I (added one) AND REDESIGNED THE DIVINE RELICS!!!

This was mainly done for one because I don’t really like the many of the original designs tbh- AND TWO! I wanted to put effort into the symbolism behind the shapes and gems, because symbolism makes me happy, and I like over analyzing things 😌

This one is going to be a long one, so I’m gonna go ahead and put a cut here, lol

FIRST OFF!

Irene (Aphmau)- Purple Diamond

Irene’s relic is based off of the purple diamond! One of the most rare gemstones and a sign for nobility. Irene, being the head of the warriors, slides into this role, as well as the theming of pride and spirituality, for, obvious reasons.

This one didn’t really get a redesign since it’s so iconic

Enki (Travis) - Lapis

Besides wisdom being a key tenant of Enki’s divinity, I thought this worked a lot with Travis and the storyline I’m planning to put him through.

From someone who flirts to hide their their own feelings and thoughts, to someone who is more open and an advisor of sorts. I view Travis as someone who is genuinely very smart and always listening and adapting his actions and words to what people want. The conclusion to his story would be to put a focus on him learning to do what he wants, and to being more genuine and open. To learn that his not just what he can do for others, he’s not just his fathers jailer. That these things are great and all, but that him just being himself is all that really matters

I kept this pretty much the same as the old design again since it looks cool and also I think having the two little gems bracketed leans into the “keeper” title. Especially with the people of their line being all about keeping the demon warlock/evil forces sealed away.

Shad (Aaron) - Ruby

Lets be soooo for real, the story tells itself. From the past hurts, to martyrdom, all the way to being protective of family and having a distorted veiw of one’s self. Shad and Aaron both fit all of these to a T

Annnndddd for the shape I took inspiration from this Slavic symbol!

Like…. Fire…… war……… going through shit….….. also the whole “child” thing!? What started his whole downfall was his daughter being turned into a relic. This relic. To be exact.

I get to be a little devious. As a treat >:3c

Esmund (Garroth) - Pink Garnet

Ok so, the name obviously matches but omg I swear I didn’t realize until much later XDDD

Funny coincidences aside, I thought the themes of loyalty, devotion, consistency, etc. really match him and the stability that he brings to those around him. Not to mention the whole “used to ward off evil“ blah blah blah. AS WELL AS the part where it says that it’s believed through being cut and polished (put through hard times) are when a garnets ability truly shines through. Showing how before he was nothing but a cog in his father’s wheel until he went through adversity and re made himself!

I wanted this to have the general shape shield as well as include the reoccurring shape I put in Garroth’s redesign!

AND I CANT PUT MORE THEN 10 PICTURES PER POST SO ILL REBLOG WITH THE REST RIGHT HERE

[moreespressoformydepresso]

Fandom's Takes On Trauma Are Terrible And Here's Why: brought to you by terrible Coriolanus Snow and Anakin Skywalker discourse

I've been on the verge of making this post for a while now, but I kept not doing it because this might be a bit of a hot take and I don't like offending people. However, I've been growing increasingly annoyed with the perception of one specific character type so lets see how much my dumb opinions stir the pot this time ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. This will be focused mainly on my current main fandom: The Ballad Of Songbirds And Snakes, as well as Star Wars. You'll see why. Now, I need to make it clear that I'm not judging anyone for their opinions on characters for any reason. In no way am I insinuating you're a bad person for having opinions different to mine or that you’re not allowed to have them. What I am saying is that fandoms have some frustrating and frankly insulting beliefs around trauma and those who survived it, and I'm gonna talk about it because I want to get this off my chest. With that said:

Y'all don't understand how trauma works and it annoys me

As stated in the title, I'm writing this because of the Coriolanus Snow discourse, specifically regarding whether he's a good or bad person. Lets rip off the bandaid straight away: He's a bad person. There's no question about it, Snow is a vile human being. And he's one of my favorite characters because of it. He's fantastically written and hands down one of the most realistic, viscerally terrifying yet utterly pathetic villains ever. And what I hate about the TBOSAS fandom more than anything (aside from how some of them treat the actors) is the way they take away all his agency in the story. But I'll put a pin in that because I have a lot to say about him and instead start at the beginning of my growing frustration with how fandom perceives trauma (feel free to skip through this post, I'll label my sections in case you don't wanna read this whole thing). There's two sides, and both are equally stigmatized and wrong. So lets start with the more obvious one through the lens of Anakin Skywalker.

The Star Wars Fandom's Weird Relationship With Traumatized Children Behaving Like Traumatized Children

So Anakin Skywalker AKA Darth Vader is pretty explicitly a Bad Dude who's done some Bad Things. Bro committed genocide, ain't no getting around that, except... It's a little more complicated. Sure, he did all those terrible things, but a lot of people take that to mean he was always a horrible monstrous big bad in the making who was destined to become the galaxy's worst nightmare. That's missing the whole point of the prequel trilogy, because those movies essentially serve to explain all the reasons for Anakin's descent into villainy, and he had surprisingly little hand in it. Growing up into slavery means he not only has a warped view of the galaxy thanks to all the horrors he's witnessed, it also means he lacks the teachings Jedi younglings get when they grow up in the temple. He was pawned off onto Obi-Wan who had only recently been knighted and was in no way ready to raise a child, and became "friends" with Palpatine who fed him all sorts of lies to manipulate him into becoming little more than an attack dog. Not exactly ideal circumstances for a child in their formative years. Did Anakin shirk the Jedi's rules? Yes. Did he do dumb stuff? Yes. But he was a traumatized teenager, of course he's acting out. When he massacres the Tusken Raiders, it's Padme Amidala who reassures him it was the right thing to do. He felt guilty about it, so this idea that he's some apathetic monster from the second he's born is dumb. It's not that Anakin was born wrong, it's that the people around him either failed to help him go down the right path or were actively trying to push him down the wrong one. Anakin never fully grasped the Jedi's ideals, because the person meant to teach him just wasn't equipped to do so. If he'd had someone to teach him how to get a hold of his emotions, distancing himself enough from them to make the best possible decision and helping him understand the importance of letting someone go when you have to, he wouldn't have fallen to the dark side the way he did.

Anakin did terrible things, but blaming it on him just having an evil heart shows a fundamental misunderstanding of how people's environments change who they are. A life in slavery, where he was not allowed to have anything and risked losing what he held dear at any second with no control over it likely caused him to be very possessive of what he held close to his heart once he did have some control over what he kept and lost. Shmi died because he wasn't there to protect her (in his head), so he clung to the people he loved so he could save them the way he couldn't save his mother. Palpatine actively groomed him, if you think that didn't have any effect on him I don't know what to tell you. Throughout the war, he constantly lost people he was close to. That control he had slowly starts to fade as Ahsoka leaves and he starts having dreams about Padme dying. He does everything to save her, only to find out she betrayed him (in his mind, a thought quite likely influenced by PTSD as well). I can tell you that believing one of the few people you trust has betrayed you can make you act very impulsively. Anakin made an impulsive decision and regretted it for the rest of his life. He wasn't born a monster, the world turned him into one.

However, that does not excuse his actions. It explains them and spreads the blame to more people, but his actions are still his actions. Anakin separated himself from his past because of all the pain it brings him, and in doing so he did a lot of bad things. And he still needed to face consequences for those actions, even if the events that led up to them aren't necessarily on him entirely. If he'd gotten therapy, he wouldn't have choked Padme to death. Possibly he wouldn't have attacked the temple. But he didn't, and he did all those things trauma or not. I have major issues with the way some Anti-Anakin parts of the Star Wars fandom insist on ignoring or writing off his trauma, but that doesn't mean I'm absolving him of all guilt.

An explanation is not an excuse, and that sentiment brings us to the reason for this little rant:

Coriolanus Snow's defenders have a habit of infantalizing trauma survivors and I wish they would stop

Oh Snow, how your amazing character completely flew over the heads of most of your loyalest fans. I'm joking, obviously, but also... It's not exactly wrong. Now, I need to make this clear: I'm not insulting Snow fans here. I'm kind of one of them (I hate his guts but I love how he was written, it's a love hate relationship). However, the way people talk about his trauma... I'll be honest, it's kind of sickening for reasons I'll talk about later after getting through the technical(?) stuff. Where the way people view Anakin disgusts me, the way people treat Snow disturbs me. Because people view The Ballad Of Songbirds and Snakes as if it's some typical tragic villain backstory that humanizes and in some ways justifies who he became, to show what changed him from a normal person into a monster. It's not. It actually shows that Snow has always possessed the traits that made him the monster we know from the OG series. What it does is explain why specific things were so important to him and how he grew to lose all redeeming qualities, letting the worst aspects of his personality grow and take over until it's all there's left of him.

What made Snow do stuff like poison political adversaries and constantly beat down the districts so they don't rebel? A thirst for power. A thirst he's always had, born from the feelings of entitlement he held thanks to his family's previous status. He deserves that power in his mind, so he'll do anything to get it. Power, control, and influence are his driving motivators. It's at the back of his mind throughout TBOSAS, and by the time he becomes a gamemaker it's the only motivation he has left. Those traits, the things that pushed him to do what he did, they were always there. There was just more stuff to cover it up. Stuff that fell away with time. Snow is a terrible person, but people pretend he's some poor misunderstood baby who just needed a hug because... why? Because he has trauma. And that's the root of the problem. Does he have trauma? Absolutely. He survived a war, he lost his parents, struggled through poverty while being raised by propaganda from the Capitol and was arguably groomed by Gaul. Sound familiar? It's kind of like Anakin. Horrible childhood filled with loss, less than amazing figures raising him and grooming. Except people use the opposite argument for him which is equally wrong: he's traumatized, so we cannot blame him.

Yes we can.

Trauma does not justify your actions. It might explain them, but you are still accountable for your own actions. Snow murdered people, starting with Bobbin, and every single time it was his choice to do so. It doesn't matter why he made that choice, because he still did it. He ruined countless lives and ended nearly as many, both directly and indirectly. No amount of trauma justifies that. I've seen people claim he's just an anxious young boy who's a poor victim of circumstance, and anyone who doesn't believe so is simply unable to separate the actions of an 80-something-year-old from the 18-year-old, but... No. That's one of the most braindead takes I've ever heard, I'm sorry. Snow hadn't committed the crimes of his older self yet, but the behaviors he shows in TBOSAS are the ones that led him to doing so later on and ignoring that is just stupid. I don't need to judge Snow based on his later actions to call out how fucked up he was in TBOSAS. Again, he chose to murder several people and deluded himself into believing he was justified. That's what makes him a great character. Bad people always believe, on some level, that they're doing the right thing. It's fascinating. But people take his words at face value when he says he's doing the right thing, and the whole point is that he's wrong. He's lying to himself. Because that's what people do sometimes. Snow's family was knocked off its throne, and Snow clung to the idea that the districts are beneath him and at fault to cope with that. He deluded himself into believing Gaul's dumbass theory to justify continuing the games.

It's the exact opposite of Anakin Skywalker: Trauma is relevant, it does inform your perspective on the world and your actions, but it does not mean you can do no wrong. Snow had every chance to be a good person: Knocking Bobbin out or running away instead of murdering him, joining the rebellion with Sejanus, staying in district 12 with Lucy Gray and being honest with her. But he killed Bobbin. He fucked over the rebels and got Sejanus killed. He lied to Lucy Gray and destroyed any chance he had with her. Every chance he got, he threw into the fire without hesitation. Anakin leaned into being a bad person to forget the past, Snow chose to be one because it benefitted him the most. Neither of them are excused because of their trauma, their descent into villainy is simply explained. You know why? Because both of them created new victims. Snow was complicit in the murder of hundreds of children before becoming responsible for thousands more, he killed people with his own hands and ruined several lives over the course of TBOSAS. All that pain he caused isn't erased because we can explain why it happened. Even at 18, Snow has many things he should be held accountable for. War, being an empoverished orphan, being groomed, none of that nullifies the shit he's done. People who say Snow's just an anxious, young, traumatized boy are one side of the horseshoe theory of the myth of "the perfect victim". The "Anakin's Trauma Should Be Ignored Entirely" crowd are the other side. Which brings us to...

It's all horseshoe theory

To conclude the analytical part of my post, I'll bring it back to what I briefly mentioned in the intro to all of this. Agency. That's the running thread here. Both in cases like Anakin and cases like Snow, the fandom takes away all agency a character has in the story for the sake of justifying one's feelings about them. Anakin was born a monster and he was always destined to be evil. It wasn't the trauma, it wasn't the events of the story, he's just bad. On the other hand, Snow is a good person who was made to do terrible things by his trauma. It's all the trauma and nothing else. His bad childhood caused him to be this way and it has nothing to do with his own worst personality traits. See the connection? In both these instances, the characters had no influence over who they became. With Anakin, nothing could've had any influence because he's just born wrong. With Snow, it's everything around him that shaped him into who he was. Both scenarios completely ignore the character and focus on external factors to explain everything. One demonizes trauma victims by saying those that went off the rails are just bad people and there's nothing to be done about it, the other infantilizes trauma survivors by saying they shouldn't be held accountable for their actions just because they have trauma and it's only when they're older and should know better that we can bring consequences down on them.

Victims of trauma should be held accountable, though. The only thing the presence of trauma should change is what kind of accountability. Merely locking them up won't change anything, they should receive help to work through their problems while residing in a place where they cannot hurt anyone else. Including themselves. That is what acknowledging trauma is useful for. But this? This is doing nothing but stigmatizing trauma survivors even more than they already are, and I hate it. And you wanna know why I hate it? Because I've been both sides of this horseshoe, and it nearly got me killed.

The part where I talk about my Tragic Backstory(TM) to explain why this bothers me so much

This'll be a little heavy, so while I'm not gonna go into detail I advise you to please be careful. If you're not in the headspace to handle talk about actual real life mental health issues, feel free to stop reading here. I'm putting this at the end for a reason. If you really wanna know why people's perspective on Snow disturbs me but don't wanna risk getting triggered, skip to the last bold line in this post.

Without going into detail, I've dealt with some pretty big mental health issues throughout my life. One of them is PTSD, so believe me when I say I understand that trauma can heavily influence one's actions in ways even they don't understand. But I had to learn the hard way that there's a difference between explaining and excusing. I used to believe that, because of my previous experiences, I was entirely justified in doing what I was doing. Kind of. At that point, I didn't know that what I was experiencing was PTSD, but I did feel justified in my actions the same way Snow does. I explained every bad thing I did away and wrote it off as nothing or sometimes even as a good thing. Granted, I never did anything as big as committing murder, but I don't live in a country as dark and horrible as Panem so we'll chalk it up to that. As I grew older, I started to recognize the ways in which I accidentally hurt the people around me, and eventually had the realization that my past does not in fact justify the pain I was causing people entirely uninvolved in what happened to me. They had nothing to do with that, and shoving all my pain onto them the way I did was wrong. My view of myself pivoted to the other side of the horseshoe. If I'm not justified, am I... am I bad? Am I evil? Am I just born wrong?

I don't know how to explain this to anyone who hasn't gone through this themself, but that is a horrible feeling to have. To feel like you're just bad and there's nothing you can do about it... It kills something inside of you. A hope, a will to keep going and keep trying. Why bother when you cannot be fixed? I've lost the will to live at two points in my life, and that was one of them. And now I get to see both of these mentalities be repeated by dumbasses who don't understand the first thing about trauma. It's... not fun. It's grating and aggravating in a way I can't accurately bring across with just my words. It makes me wanna scream and laugh hysterically until I cry.

Here's the thing: I relate to Snow, and the way people perceive him disturbs me on a visceral level.

As I said, I justified my own bad behavior the same way he does. I convinced myself I was a blameless poor victim who had no hand in their actions. But just like Snow, I did. Not nearly as much as I would have liked, but I did. I learned to control the defensive mechanisms my trauma gave me, and I grew from it. Seeing people defending Snow with the same arguments that kept me from ever getting over what happened to me, crying out that he's just traumatized so none of it's his fault... it disturbs me. Because they're outsiders who should be able to see the pain he caused others and realize that nothing changes the fact that he did that. But they don't. They're me, without any of the personal stakes that kept me trapped in my own delusions. It's all just fiction, and I know that, but it hits just a little too close to home for my comfort. It's a little too raw and a little too real for me to just let it go and move on again like I always do.

I'm sorry for the rant, I didn't mean to make this post this long but I guess I hope you find something of interest in here that made it worth reading? Have a nice day 💜

[fluentmoviequoter]

hi hi hi i love your work!! this is definitely self indulgent, but i had an idea for dalton lambert! what if the reader was around instead of chris when dalton got possessed, and got pretty beat up (you choose how bad it gets) and the reader feels awful about it afterwards, feeling like they could’ve done something to help dalton even though there was nothing they could do, and dalton is just so upset that the reader got hurt and it ends all fluffy and comforting? basically just hurt/comfort (my favorite) :’)

Thank you!! This is one of my favorite requests ever!! Hurt/comfort is my favorite too, so I really enjoyed writing this one and hope it's what you wanted! :)

Warnings: angst, detailed physical harm, hurt/comfort, fluff at the end, LOTS of spoilers for Insidious: The Red Door. 3.2k+ words

A/N: I used the second frat house scene and the possession scene for this fic. I decided to put reader in Chris's place in both scenes to give some background to their relationship. Reader says some of Chris's line in the first third or so, but then the story changes. And it's a breakup song, but the title was inspired by "Same Team" by Josh Kerr.

On Your Team

“Dalton, you’re not crazy,” you say as you walk into his dorm room.

“Thanks?” Dalton looks up from what he is working on as you set your laptop on his desk. “Didn’t know you and Chris had joint custody of the key now.”

“We don’t. She said I could keep it because I ‘have a better reason to need to get into your room.’ Whatever that means.”

You take the drawing pad from Dalton and set it aside before pulling the other chair beside him.

“I found this video and I think it could help you.”

You press play, but as the guys in the video begin talking about their mentor, Dalton pauses it and starts another video. Elise Rainier talks about astral projecting and the Further while you and Dalton give the video your undivided attention. Dalton comments once that he feels exactly what she’s describing. As the video ends, Dalton continues to stare at the screen.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” you ask.

“The kid from the frat house?” Dalton begins.

“The pukey kid?”

“Yeah. He said something to me. He said, ‘Close the door.’ What if he didn’t mean a real door? What if he was talking about that door?” Dalton points to the painting of the red door.

“So, you want to go back and ask him?” you ask, your shock obvious.

“I need to know.”

“Dalton, I don’t know that going back into that dark realm is the best idea. You heard what the woman in the video said, the further you go the more dangerous it gets.”

“There’s something… important about this painting. I have to find out.”

You nod before saying, “Okay. But it’s not like Nick is just gonna let you waltz into his room and chat with the ghost in his toilet.”

Dalton laughs, and smiles as he states, “He’ll never know I’m there.”

You walk to the frat house, asking Dalton to share his plan several times. Every time he tells you that he has it under control.

As you walk through the back door and to the stairs, someone asks, “Can I help you?”

Dalton freezes, so you put on a fake accent and smile as you explain, “I have left my brassiere in Nicholas’s room and was wondering if he is perchance home?”

You feel Dalton look at you but keep your eyes on the girl as she tells you Nick is upstairs studying with Paige. You thank her, then drag Dalton up the stairs.

“I need a room with darkness,” Dalton states as you reach the second floor.

“Okay.” You begin testing doorknobs, avoiding Nick’s room. “Then what?” As you try another doorknob, the door opens, and you look back at Dalton. “Bingo.”

You turn off all the lights as Dalton moves a blanket to the floor and sits down. He nods at you, and you begin counting down from ten. Watching in awe as the door opens, you stand and look down the hall, whispering a wish of good luck to Dalton before you lock it behind you. You sit in the chair closest to Dalton’s body and pull your phone from your pocket to pass the time.

Down the hall, Dalton stands in Nick’s bathroom as everything grows darker. He isn’t sure how to find the guy from before, especially with Nick in his way.

While you look at your phone, the lights suddenly go out. You stand up and flip the light switch several times, though nothing happens. You look over at Dalton’s body and quietly call his name. Moving your hand to the doorknob, you try and fail to open the door. Something seems to move behind you, so you peek over your shoulder to check on Dalton.

“Dalton, wake up,” you demand as you continue pulling on the door.

Dalton hears your voice and says your name into the darkness before opening the bathroom door and moving down the hall.

“Close the door!” Someone yells before a hand bursts through the wall and grabs Dalton, pulling him into the wall.

Meanwhile, you step back from the door and begin to turn around before you are pushed against the wall, suddenly unable to breathe as you claw at your throat. Your vision grows fuzzy as you slump against the wall.

Dalton pushes away from the wall and runs toward the room where you are waiting with his body. As he steps through the open door, Nick enters before him, pointing a flashlight at your unconscious body. Dalton sees the demon leaning over you, removing its hand from your neck.

Nick drops to his knees and begins performing CPR on you, yelling for you to wake up as Dalton returns to his body. He gasps and wakes up just before you regain consciousness and sit up, gasping for air. You lock eyes with Dalton and wonder what he’s dealing with in the other realm.

Exiting the student health center, you don’t see Dalton waiting beside the door.

He calls your name as he walks behind you, placing a hand on your arm as he begins apologizing.

“I didn’t mean… I-I just wanted to see if you’re okay,” he stutters, removing his hand as he notices the faint bruise spanning your neck.

“I’m okay.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know anyone could get hurt in the real world.”

“Well, they can. I know that I should tell you to stop, but I know that you need answers. I need a little space right now, but don’t do anything without me. Next time, you might not wake up, and we can’t take that chance.”

“I’ll call you. I’m sorry.”

You nod and send him a small smile before walking away and returning to your dorm. Dalton watches you, then pulls his phone out to call Foster and get some answers about what happened while he was in his ‘coma.’

You’re sitting on your bed, watching a movie in a failed attempt to distract yourself. You get a text and pause it as you read Dalton’s words, ‘It wasn’t a coma I’m going to find the answer.’ As you finish reading, the lights go out.

“Dalton,” you gasp. Immediately, you begin unplugging all your lights and loading them into your arms as you prepare to check on Dalton.

Just as Dalton’s eyes open, a knock sounds on the door before it is opened.

“Just checking on you,” you explain as you close the door. “Are you alright? Because I thought when the lights went out that you were messing with that dark realm stuff again without telling me. Plus, I know you don’t care for the dark, so I thought I could illuminate your room, much like how I illuminate your life.”

“I’m not afraid of the dark anymore,” Dalton says behind you, sounding different than usual.

“Okay. Well, I brought all these down here, so I’m putting them up.”

You continue detangling the lights, plugging in one set at a time to determine which cord goes where. When the lights come on, you don’t see Dalton’s darkened eyes watching you.

“Dalton, have you considered that maybe you shouldn’t go digging around in your past?” You ask, oblivious to his intense stare. “Some things are just better left buried, you know? And sometimes you just have to move on.”

As you speak, Dalton stands and walks away from the bed where you are sitting. You look away from the lights to get his opinion but don’t see him anywhere.

“Dalton?” you ask, standing from the bed and looking around the suddenly empty room.

Scanning the room for the second time, you hear shaky breaths from the corner and slowly turn in that direction. Dalton is standing in the corner, his head hung low.

“Dalton. You okay?” you ask, moving toward him.

Dalton turns, revealing yellow eyes and darkened facial features. You turn and run toward the door but only take a few steps before your body collides with the wall. Landing on Dalton’s bed with a bounce, you ignore the pain radiating down your back as you look up at him. His arm is still outstretched from where he swung it at you. He lowers his arm and walks toward the bed, towering over you as his breathing grows raspier.

“Dalton. What?” you ask quietly.

Blood begins running from his mouth and down his chin as he pulls the drawstring from his sweatpants and wraps it around his hand.

“Dalton? Dalton, tell me you’re in there,” you beg. “Dalton, I know you’re in there. You’re stronger than anything in that dark realm.” He takes another step, and you add, “Do not touch me again.”

Whatever is controlling Dalton causes his body to laugh as his hands continue preparing the drawstring.

In the Further, Josh breaks the chain on Dalton’s ankle, removing control from the demon.

Dalton’s body freezes, and you watch as he collapses onto the floor. You stay where you are for a moment, then peek over the edge of the bed to make sure it isn’t a trick. Dalton’s face is no longer covered in blood, and it looks like he is himself again. Pushing yourself off the bed, you swallow a groan of pain as your back stretches with the movement. You feel your head pound with each movement but ignore it as you focus on Dalton. Grabbing a pillow from his bed, you gently raise his head from the floor and slide it under. Pushing Dalton's legs so that he is lying in the middle of the room, you move to one side of him and reach under the bed to plug some lights in. As the cord stretches, the lights on the other side of the room go out. You crawl around Dalton and lay on your stomach, then slide under the bed so you can see the cords. When the lights come on, you see a demonic face looking back at you from the shadows.

You yell, pushing out from under the bed quickly. A clawed hand follows you from under the bed, scraping across your wrist as you back away. You flip so that you’re sitting on the floor, then lift Dalton’s shoulders and head into your lap as you press your back into his desk, attempting to protect yourself from any sneak attacks from behind.

More creatures begin crawling out of the shadows under the beds and in the corners, so you pull Dalton closer to you, his head on your shoulder as you wrap your arms around his waist. You use your legs to fend off the creatures, kicking as they reach out toward Dalton. Several hands wrap around your legs, digging into your skin as they pull themselves closer. Yelling and kicking, you hope this is enough to keep Dalton safe until he wakes up. A hand suddenly grabs your upper leg by your hip and pulls harshly. Struggling to stay upright, you turn and direct your knee toward the onslaught of hands vying for your left side. Whispering his name, you feel Dalton jerk slightly in your arms and silently pray that he is alive and on his way back to you.

As you glance down to check on Dalton, he inhales deeply and wakes up, sending the creatures away. He rolls out of your arms and hits his light switch, ridding the room of shadows. Without saying anything, he grabs the painting of the red door and a tube of black paint and begins covering it. It takes less than a minute before the door is no longer visible, and Dalton lets himself fall back into the floor.

His phone rings, but his gaze sweeps to you, and he forgets about the call. He moves to his knees and slides over beside you, gently nudging your chin toward him.

“You’re a really sound sleeper,” you murmur.

Dalton shakes his head as his phone begins ringing again. He answers it, says he’ll call back, and hangs up.

“I’m so sorry,” you say, your voice weak as guilt and pain consume you all at once. “I said I’d be here to help, but I wasn’t. And I should have done more to help you, not leave you to deal with this alone. Dalton, I’m sorry.”

Dalton shakes his head as he looks over your body. “No, I’m sorry. You got hurt, twice now, because of me and my obsession with that stupid door. I hurt you, there is nothing you could have done.”

“Dalton don’t do that. I could’ve done more.” Tears run down your face as you shift away from the desk, trying to put space between you and Dalton. “If I had gotten here just a few minutes earlier, or not left you in the first place, you wouldn’t have been alone when the lights went out and none of this would have happened.”

“Look at me,” Dalton demands quietly. When you look up at him through teary lashes, he extends his hand toward you. “Please stop apologizing. I’ll stop too. Right now, you need help.”

You nod, taking Dalton’s extended hand.

“Where are you hurt? Besides the bruise from earlier and your wrist?” Dalton asks.

You look down at your wrist and see the claw marks from when you went under the bed. Shaking your head to clear it, you answer, “My back and my legs. I think that’s it, though.”

“Okay. Think you can stand up?”

“Not without help.”

Dalton helps you stand up, his jaw clenching each time you make a pained sound. Once you’re standing, he holds your elbows to support you and gestures toward his bed with his chin. He walks with you and helps you sit down before kneeling in front of you.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper again.

Dalton looks up and you see the shine of tears running down his face. “I did this to you, and you’re apologizing to me?”

“You didn’t do it, Dalton. And it only happened because I failed in the one thing I told you I could do for you.”

Dalton’s hand raises to your cheek, careful not to brush any bruises or cause you more pain. “If I didn’t do it, and you didn’t know what was going to happen, then neither of us have a reason to apologize, right?”

You shake your head and begin to argue, but Dalton maintains eye contact as he brushes a tear away. You nod, still wishing that you could have done more for him.

“Do you want to go to the hospital?” Dalton asks.

“And tell them what?” you ask with a wet laugh.

“Good point,” Dalton agrees, smiling faintly.

He holds out his hand and points to your wrist, gently cradling your arm as you extend it to him.

“You’re lucky my mom packed for me, that’s the only reason I have a first aid kit,” Dalton says as he pulls it out of his desk drawer and opens it on the bed beside you.

“Are you hurt?” you ask, suddenly remembering you never asked.

“No, I’m fine. Physically.”

“And the door?”

“It’s closed. For good. This might sting.”

You brace yourself following Dalton’s warning. Squeezing a handful of his comforter in your other hand, you watch as he uses an alcohol wipe to clean the scratches on your wrist. He whispers apologies as he works, then discards the wipe and removes a bandage from the first aid kit. After letting you change into a pair of his shorts so he can see the damage to your legs, Dalton works in silence as he cleans and bandages the scratches and bruises spanning your legs. As he reaches the top of your left leg, you stop him.

“I don’t know how bad that one is,” you warn.

Dalton nods, and you pull your hand back, watching as he pushes the shorts up to see.

“It’s going to bruise,” Dalton informs. “Feel broken?”

You shake your head, and Dalton nods, cracking an ice pack several times before placing it on your leg. He directs your hand to it, and you hold it as Dalton stands.

“You said your back hurts? What happened?”

“Nothing,” you answer too quickly. “I just fell.”

Dalton’s face falls as he lowers himself back to your level. “What did I do?”

“You didn’t do anything. Something else threw me against the wall.”

Dalton takes a shaky breath before asking, “How bad is it?”

“Feels like a deep bruise,” you answer honestly, “not going to be able to do anything comfortably for a few days, but probably nothing serious.”

Dalton tugs the hem of your shirt as he asks, “Can I check?”

You nod, and Dalton helps you stand, pushing the back of your shirt up and leaning down to look at your skin. He runs a gentle finger down your spine, causing you to suppress a shiver. Dalton pulls your shirt back down, moving in front of you.

“I’m not going to apologize again,” Dalton promises. “But I need to ask if you want me out of your life. I understand if you never want to see me again.”

You cut him off, interjecting, “No. I don’t want to see anyone but you, Dalton. I meant what I said earlier, I’m on your team, win, lose, or tie. Sure, today might have felt like a loss, but you closed the door and came back to me. That’s all that matters.”

“Most people would have told me to get lost after what happened earlier.”

“Maybe they just don’t understand you. Besides, you could tell me to get out and find someone better equipped to help you, keep you grounded.”

Dalton pushes a piece of hair out of your face as he smiles and says, “But you’re who I wanted to come back to.”

You smile and take a step closer to Dalton.

“I want to kiss you,” Dalton states, laying his hands on your hips, avoiding your bruises.

“I want you to kiss me,” you reply.

Dalton does most of the work, mindful of your injuries as he moves so you don’t have to. He keeps the kiss short and sweet, a promise of more to come. As Dalton pulls back, his phone begins ringing again. Rolling his eyes, he answers it and talks to his mom and dad as he plays with your fingers. You tug his hand as he begins talking about you, but he waves you off as he agrees to something before hanging up.

“What was that?” you ask.

“They want to meet you when you feel better.”

“You move fast.”

“Don’t want another guy to get possessed and sweep you off your feet,” Dalton teases.

“Literally,” you add. You see Dalton's smile fall and quickly lean over to kiss him. “That was a joke, if you apologize again we’ll both be injured.”

Dalton puts his hands up in a faux surrender before kissing your temple. “Good to know you’re not going anywhere.”

“I meant it, I’m on your team.”

Dalton smiles before kissing you again, mumbling that today was a win in his book. You couldn't agree more.

[splxtduxlies]

yes i kno i do a lot of agent 24 headcanons but what if. pearlina headcanons

(aka the other splatoon ship that makes up most of my brain's space)

so at this point i think we all pretty much get their lore - marina was an octoling solider that heard the inkantation at the end of splat1 and fled from underground, pearl was a richy rich inkling who wanted to start a band, they make out they get married they adopt agent 8 yk the Canon

marina's first impression of pearl was "wow this short inkling girl can scream"

pearl's first impression of marina was that she looked cool and would make her band stand out from the rest bc of her "weird" look (pearl canonically did not know marina was an octoling lol) it wasnt long until "cool" became "shes pretty cute actually" and then "wow shes beautiful" and it just went downhill from there

for pearl she definitely fell in love with marina's looks first,, shes not even gonna lie,, she can be a lil shallow lesbian smh

marina for. obvious reasons cant say she ever found inklings physically attractive, given the. yk. propaganda in the underground

so for her she really admired pearl's inner beauty first and most

i like to think marina was not on the ground *at all* when she was in the military. definitely the one controlling the tech from the sidelines so she never really had to hold a weapon

hence, marina cannot fight. she's too pretty & she will cry

okay well she did grow up underground so she can hold her own when she needs to but she gets frazzled easily and a little overwhelmed. definitely tries to talk or manipulate her way out of tough situations

pearl, surprisingly on the otherhand, can and will beat the shit out of a grown man

well she's scrappy so she'll bite them and claw at them and kick in their shins and they'll run away but not without literal chunks bitten out of them

anything for her queen ✨️🌸

when marina agreed to make a band with pearl, pearl was so excited she immediately suggested marina move into her home (her bodyguards were horrified)

marina,,, immediately politely declined and pearl helped her get an apartment instead

basically, despite appearances and titles, pearl is not the princess who needs protecting by marina , she thinks of it Very differently

pearl's love language is, obviously, words of affirmation and gift giving

her way of "courting" marina was buying her tons of stuff and offering to have people do everything for her so she doesnt have to lift a finger

it worked for all pearl's exs sooooo should work for this octo baddie right (she is not right)

marina's love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation...actually its mostly physical touch lol

yk marina hugging pearl so hard they fall on the ground at the end of octo expansion. and then she keeps Going

marina is "baby i want the most high tech weaponry on the black market" and pearl is definitely "my baby gets whatever she wants laws be damned"

growing up a only child in a family with a LOT of money means pearl definitely got the spoiling but. she never got the feeling of spoiling Someone Else and she prefers that waay more

marina does not have expensive tastes,,, but she doesnt mind being spoiled sometimes as a treat i meann it would be rude to decline n she was raised to be polite soooOO

if marina's friends from the octoling barracks saw the stuff pearl buys her now they would be in Shock

but dont forget,,, marina was team love so shes not overly impressed by *all* the gifts

of all the fancy music gear and clothes and things pearl has bought her marina's favorite gift has just been plain ole flowers

they dont grow underground obviously but theyve always captured marina, the smell the look the different varieties she loves them

when marina thinks of the beauty and joy of being above ground first she thinks of pearl, and then she thinks of flowers

pearl catches on that marina likes flowers and starts ordering her tons of bouquets and starts lining the hallways leading to her apartment with floral gifts and flowers in the shape of her head and all kinds of junk

marina accepted the gifts. politely ofc

but her fondest memory is of her and pearl doing a photoshoot for an album in a wildflower meadow. marina looked so beautiful and Pearl's crushing was driving her crazy so she gathered a bunch of random flowers in her fist and shoved them in marina's face because she had to give her Something or she was gonna loose it

marina felt so fond, she keeps the dry and crumpled flowers in a locket with her all the time

at some point pearl realized marina likes it better when She opens the door for her first instead of pearl's bodyguards so now pearl rushes to every door to open it for marina before anyone else can

*bodyguard opens car door for pearl on side* *pearl runs to the other side of the car to open the door for marina*

pearl snores and drools like a dad of 4 who works a blue collar job 5 days a week and luckily marina is a heavy sleeper.

marina is the small spoon exclusively,,, when they fall asleep. when they wake up pearl is wrapped in marinas arms AND tentacles and she can't Move

whenever they get into fights pearl Always is the one to apologize. not just because shes usually the one whose wrong but marina is scary good at being cold (surprisingly given how affectionate and sweet she is with pearl) and pearl absolutely Hates it, its like the world feels wrong

everyone notices because marina is usually all over her, so pearl gets pressured by her bodyguards to apologize too (they always know shes in the wrong)

marina makes it look easy,,, but shes usually moments away from apologizing herself bc she misses her pearl so much

pearl is one of those people who makes sounds and hand motions to express feelings and marina is usually the only one who understands

marina has literally made a powerpoint presentation on all the things she loves about pearl in great detail. and she will present it do not test her

she's perpetually in the "crushing phase" and gets so excited to spend time with her and pearls like "babe we've been married for 2 years i see u every night and day"

if i was allowed to keep going i would never stop-

[chuusei-matsu]

Would the osomatsu-san crew let you peg them?

Heads up! Below is gonna be some nsfw stuff if you couldn't tell by the title, if that's not your vibe, skip this! Read some of my other stuff! Maybe even suggest me something to write about!

Osomatsu would be up to it iiiiif you made a bet with him or offered him something. After all, it's "fucking gay to be pegged" as he would say but 50 bucks is 50 bucks. However he would become an absolute bottom bitch for 50 bucks, not realizing that he actually really likes it until it happens.

Your boy Karamatsu would let it happen, he would let you peg him but you'd have to get him like the flashiest but also most "manly" strap on ever. He actually is a little indifferent to it, it doesn't feel bad to him, but it's not necessarily something he prefers though. But if it's something you like, then he'll do it to make you happy... Also it does end up feeling good after a little.

Choromatsu is absolutely against it, he will absolutely dump you if you even try to peg him. Now the big reason why he doesn't want you to peg him is because it's "unmanly", but the real reason why is because he doesn't really want to become a butt-slut, but it's obvious that he's already a butt-slut.

Ichimatsu refuses to even consider the idea. He is open minded to all things, but he's had a fear of things in his ass ever since ESP kitty. Maybe some day in the distant future if you really comfort him, he might let you finger him, but pegging is just too big of an ask for him. He wouldn't enjoy it either, it's just not for him.

Jyushimatsu would be open to it! It's not his first choice but he wouldn't completely turn you down either. He ends up liking it way more than expected and will often hint at doing it with you, it's become basically a way to motivate him. He does something good, he can get pegged if that's what he wants, it also just gets you guys closer and can be intimate.

Todomatsu is the one who BEGS you to peg him when you guys are alone. He's always been into the idea but you're the only person he trusts with that knowledge. Obviously he loves it and begs often, but you didn't expect how badly he would like it until you basically had him begging and screaming for you to fuck his brains out.

[americas1suiteheart]

Heres something I've been thinking about working on for a while now and I'm finally getting to it. Heres the pilot of it, let me know if you guys want me to make it into a full series (which I might do anyways🧍‍♂️)

Here's the link on Ao3 for the series if you prefer to read on there :)

Weird Science | Pilot Chapter

[Egon Spengler x Fem Reader]

[Summary; honestly I don't know what I'm gonna do with this, I'll leave the summary to finish later.💀

[Notes; This is a fem reader and it is mentioned quite a bit, this is to make things a little easier to write but I may consider making it a gender neutral reader if enough people want it and ask. [This is also kind of a long one for a pilot chapter.]

[Warnings; Some swearing and mentions of smoking. [Also very very minor mentions of drinking.]

Part 1/? | Next Chapter>

꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶︶꒷︶︶︶︶꒦꒷꒦︶︶꒷꒦︶︶꒦︶︶︶꒦꒷

"Hey, can you hand me that soldering iron please?" I say, holding my hand out.

"Oh course Dr. L/n," Theodore says, handing me the iron carefully.

Theodore Thalmann was a freshman student majoring in Computer Engineering at Columbia University, the very University I've worked at for 7 years now.

Theodore came for an internship to work with me, wanting to learn a little more visually than just reading a book, writing down notes, and listening to some old guy talk, and frankly you couldn't really blame him for not wanting to deal with that.

Theodore was a sharp kid, not lazy like most of these kids now, and willing to learn rather than just be here for some extra credit, that's what you liked about him so much.

"Do you need anything else Dr. L/n?" Theodore asks, writing a bit more into his notebook.

Just then, a knock at the door interrupted your thoughts.

"Yes actually, can you go get that for me?" You reply, taking the protective glasses off of your face.

You get up out of your chair, taking off your black rubber gloves and placing them in their respective area. You liked things organised in your lab, it was much easier to find exactly what you needed, and it was also that you never liked a mess where there was work.

"Is Dr. L/n in here? I need to have a word with her." A voice you were far too familiar with comes from the door where Theodore was standing.

Oh god this can't be good.

"Yes she is, come on in Mr. Yeager," Theodore says, letting the man inside the lab.

"Ms. L/n, pleasure to see you again as always," The man says snarkily.

You turn around and walk towards him.

"Hello Mr. Yeager, come to complain about the music volume again? I promise I hadn't played anything today, whatever you might've heard must've been someone else,"

"No, actually, I wanted to talk to you about something more serious, do you think you can get this student to be somewhere else so its a more private conversation?" The Dean says, smiling sarcastically.

Dean Yeager wasn't exactly fond of you, hense the use of your last name rather than Dr. L/n, regardless of how hard I had worked for that title, but to be quite fair, you weren't very fond of him either, so it was more of a mutual hate. There were probably a lot of reasons why he wasn't very big on you but one of the most obvious had to be the fact that you played your music too loud whilst you worked.

"Of course sir. Um, Mr. Thalmann, would you mind stepping outside for a few moments? Me and Dean Yeager need to speak to eachother in private," You say, turning towards Theodore.

Theodore gives a nod and takes off his pair of gloves, placing them haphazardly on a nearby worktable then stepping outside of the lab, shutting the door.

"So, Ms. L/n, I wanted to inform you that you will no longer be working here at the university, I'm giving you a one month notice so that way you may pack all that you have and get out of here by then, is that understood?" Dean Yeager says, a shit eating grin on his face.

"Excuse me?" You say, after a few moments of silence.

"I said you are out of here in a month, fired, let go of, from the university, Ms. L/n," He repeats, venom laced in his voice.

"But wh-what am I supposed to do about Mr. Thalmann? I can't just tell him-" You stutter, still letting the fact you're being fired sink in.

"We will move him with Professor Dietz, someone that actually has a degree to teach, Ms. L/n". He says, cutting you off.

"But I've worked here for more than five years now, you can't just let me go. I graduated from this very University Mr. Yeager, for what reason do I deserve to be let go?" You say, anger becoming more prominent in your voice as you continue to speak.

"We are letting you go because of the constant loud music, because of the constant loss of electricity on the campus due to your failed experiments, because of your lack of actual necessity and funding of being here, Ms. L/n. We cannot continue to fund and pay you just for you to cause disruptions and only be useful to students if they are working under you as an intern. Even when you do have them, they only complain about how you do absolutely nothing in ways of teaching them, you are the issue Ms. L/n,"

The students don't think I teach them? But they've never complained.

The thought of the past interns you've had having bad thoughts about you and your ways of teaching them hurt more then being fired. Sure, you got good pay from the university and your projects were funded, but the students wanting to come in and learn more about what you just so happen to love was the reason why you were still working there in the first place. And sure you would sometimes blast music whilst showing and teaching them but they never complained.

"The students never complain though, I do my absolute best to teach them Mr. Yeager, I don't underst-"

"That is the last of this conversation, Ms. L/n! You will be out of here in one month, and you will get no more students doing internships with you from right now to the day that you are completely gone from this place! Goodbye, Doctor." Dean Yeager says, walking out of the lab, shutting the door.

After a few moments Theodore comes back into the lab, slowly and gently closing the door.

"Ah Mr. Thalmann, um there's going to be a change in plans for you with this internship unfortunately, I hope you don't mind but you'll be moved to go and work with Professor Dietz starting tomorrow, I do apologise," You say, straightening your back.

Theodore stays quiet for a minute, the air thick with awkwardness.

"What Dean Yeager said about all the other students disliking you and your teaching, I don't agree with him. I like your teaching and don't think its right of Dean Yeager to just fire you like that, Dr. L/n." Theodore says awkwardly, trying to lighten the mood of the room.

"Thank you, Mr. Thalmann, but unfortunately that still doesn't change my situation about my work here. I truly do appreciate all of your help and willingness to learn more, especially from me for these past couple of weeks. You're a great student and I'll be honest, I envy Professor Dietz for getting to teach you," You say, a slight smile on your face.

"Thank you, Dr. L/n, do you need any help cleaning up?" Theodore asks, taking the rubber gloves from the table and placing them next to yours.

"No there's no need for that at all, you're free to go early today, thank you for the help Mr. Thalmann."

"Alright, thank you again for teaching me Doctor, I hope everything else goes well for you," Theodore puts the lab coat you let him borrow folded up onto a clear table, then leaves the lab.

You sit down in your rolly chair, clearly worn out as it was bought almost 8 years ago in the late 70s. Even with its rips and threads sticking out from it, as well as the black soot stains and worn cushions, it was still comfortable and somewhat soothing. It reminded you of when you first started working here, about a year after you graduated from the university. And now that you think about it it makes you a little upset that for the past 12 years now this university is all you knew.

Sure you had your own apartment and went out for groceries sometimes, but you never had friends that you still kept in touch with, so you never really went to bars or parties. And at this point having an apartment proved useless as most of the time you would fall asleep in your lab, you would eat in the university's cafeteria, and after that you would just get back to work and drown every other sound out with music from the radio or your cassette tapes.

You get up and grab your coat, leaving the lab to go outside.

You pat your pockets and pull out the cigarette tin, hoping you hadn't run out of any, and to your relief you had just two more left. Grabbing one out of the tin and placing it lightly hanging from your mouth, then lighting it and inhaling the smoke.

You make a mental note that you'll have to go to the drugstore and buy some more.

"What the hell am I gonna do now?" You mutter to yourself, taking another drag of your cigarette.

"Y/n? Is that you?"

You turn your head to see an old friend you hadn't been in touch with since you've graduated at this university.

"Ray?"

"It is you! Oh am I glad to see you. Its been, gosh, how many years now? How have you been? What are you doing here?" Ray says excitedly, asking a million questions all at once.

"Its so great to see you too, Ray. I've been okay these past years, and I work here actually." You say, giving a light chuckle.

Well, more so like you worked here.

"You work here?"

"Yeah, I've been working here since after we graduated actually, what are you doing in terms of a job?"

"I work here too actually, I'm surprised I never seen you around here. You remember Venkman and Spengler though?" He says, taking a half used cigarette out of his pocket.

"Yeah, how can I not remember Venkman, the guy constantly harassed and flirted with me until I graduated, kinda annoying. But I dont recall ever speaking to or interacting with Spengler though."

"Well I've actually been working with them two for a couple of years now, we're working on some equipment and studies to see if ghosts and entities are actually real, parapsychology you know. It would kinda make sense for you to not remember Spengler though, he was a quiet isolated sorta guy. Mind lending me your light?" Ray rambles on, gesturing for your lighter.

You hand him the lighter, taking another drag from your cigarette yourself as he lights his.

"Oh that's neat, I honestly can't believe that I hadn't known you were here though, I would've loved to talk to you and hang out more after graduation," You say, grabbing your lighter back from Ray.

"We should go out for drinks sometime! It'd be a great way to catch up with eachother, I could bring the other guys too! Maybe all of us could ask you questions about our equipment. Given that I don't really know how to do it and all but you're the one that got a Doctoral in Computer Engineering and'll know a bit more than me, but mostly just to hang out with eachother again, like old times!" Ray says excitedly, a smile on his face.

"I'd love to go for drinks with you guys, not sure I'll be of any much use now though because I've just gotten fired by Yeager and have to move all my stuff out by a month from now, so studying and doing experiments are not something I'll get to work on for a while now," You chuckle, putting your cigarette out on the palm of your hand.

"Oh thats such a shame y/n I'm sorry that happened. It seems like Yeager has got a grudge on you too huh?" Ray says sympathetically, putting a comforting hand on your shoulder.

"Yeah but honestly I totally deserved it. Do you remember those series of blackouts throughout the campus that would happen twice a week? Those were all me and it took him 5 years to get sick of it and finally fire my ass,"

You laugh, now feeling a bit better about the loss, mostly because you get to speak with Ray again.

"I heard from some of the other professors that the cause was coming from the engineering and computer science halls, it reminded me of you in a way and it seems I was right about it!" Ray laughs, letting out a dry cough afterwards.

God, Ray has always had such bad smoking problems. I can't say all that much though because that'd be too hypocritical but that cough is starting to get worse.

You two continue talking a while longer, forgetting how long you've been out there until hearing all the ruckus from the students getting released from their classes.

"I should get going now, Peter and Egon are probably wondering where I went by now. Oh! How can I get in touch with you by the way?" Ray says, turning back around toward you.

"I'm usually over here in my lab but it seems it won't be like that much longer, but here's the number for my home telephone, call me if you need or want to plan anything and if I don't answer leave me a message for my answer box," You say, pulling out a notecard and pen from your pocket, scribbling the number down and handing it to Ray.

"Thanks Y/n, I'll remember to call you later on! Sorry about the whole getting fired thing by the way but I hope we see more of eachother. I'll talk to you later!" Ray says, taking the paper and waving goodbye as he runs off to a different area of the university.

---------------------------------------

Once you were back into the lab, you looked around to see what you should start packing. You didn't have much space at your apartment so you would either probably have to rent out a storage unit or call your parents to see if they could store some of it in their attic at home.

First I need to get boxes, and then a bunch of bubble wrap and foam so none of my equipment or computers break. I'll have to go and buy some from the post office.

You go and grab your keys and head back outside of your lab, locking the door before you leave. Walking to your car, you take your keys and unlock the door of it.

As you sit down and turn the key it stalls, taking a few more tries before it finally starts. I really gotta get a new car or at least get it checked out.

You start to drive to the nearest post office, and due to the horrible New York traffic it took you about 20 minutes to get to it even if it was only half a mile away. But thats what you got yourself into deciding to move to one of the most populated states in the US.

You park, grab your wallet, lock your car, and proceed into the post office.

You see the large amount of people in there, checking their post boxes, mailing out letters, and waiting to get their packages accepted to be sent out.

You walk to the area they have the boxes set up, grabbing a few medium sized ones and proceeding to the shortest line so you can purchase them. Once finally at the front, you place the flattened out boxes onto the table.

"Hello, just these and also, do you guys have the big rolls of bubble wrap?" You say to the man at the desk, who already looked far too tired.

The man nodded and pulled out a large roll of bubble wrap, placing it on top of the boxes.

"Is that all ma'am?"

You nod, taking your wallet out of your coat pocket so that way you have your money ready.

The man punches numbers into his machine, looking at each thing on the desk as he does so.

"That'll be $21.47, ma'am."

You take 22 dollars out of your wallet, handing them to the man as he takes it gingerly, placing the bills into the register and grabbing a few coins for your change and handing them and the receipt to you.

You thank the man and take the boxes and bubble wrap with you, struggling slightly at how awkward it was to hold the 10 flat boxes and bubble wrap in your arms.

You open the trunk of your car, putting the boxes and bubble wrap in, just barely fitting to where you can close the trunk door.

God this is gonna suck.

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I literally wrote all of this in about 7 maybe 9 hours total because I just thought up something and was like, "oh yeah, this'll be great," and thats at least what I'm hoping now. I want this to kinda be slow burn and I know that's what I always say when I do series, and I never finish them, but I am really hoping ill be able to do more with this then my other failed attempts at series [if I take longer than a month to get another chapter of this out I want you all to yell at me and tell me to finish it]

[Word count; 2,769

[tenpintsofsundrop]

What would Dick Grayson be like in bed? (Titans Kink Headcanons)

A/N: So originally I was going to publish all of these for all of the characters in one long post, but I got tired/creatively stalled out about halfway through, and it's just been sitting in my drafts unfinished for weeks now. So I have decided to post them for the characters one at a time so that way I can catch up on them and have the energy to complete them really well. The reader is meant to be completely gender neutral, and I don't really know how to put warnings on this, because there is mentions of kinky topics throughout, but it's basically just a list of kinks? Like, the content itself is like a warnings list for a fic. Main warnings are for kinky topics, Daddy kink, and discussions of BDSM.

DC Titans Masterlist

...

So... one of those things that is totally obvious to me from the source material is that Dick Grayson is Daddy.

Not just when it comes to Daddy kink (although he definitely does enjoy being called Daddy for sexual gratification). He is the living embodiment of the title of Daddy. And tbh, I think he would love being called Daddy in a non-sexual context - which might sound weird if you've never been in that kind of relationship before. But when you try it out with him, you would probably love it.

It's something he would find comforting. You calling him Daddy in completely non-sexual contexts when you have no sexual intent behind it - it would make him feel good because it brings the joy of having a long term partner who feels comfortable calling him that. And he would definitely also love the casual dominance of it. He would love feeling owned by you because he gets to wear that title 24/7.

But he would be likely to say that it's something the two of you can only do in private - like in text messages or when nobody else is around to hear it, because he holds the title very sacred and he doesn't want others to mock him for it, because it is like a safe space for him. Even if he would 'laugh off' any mockery of it, he would feel hurt deep down inside.

But anyway, speaking of casual dominance - it's something he is obsessed with. I think he loves BDSM as a lifestyle, and for him, when he has a partner, it definitely doesn't stop in the bedroom - he loves setting lifestyle rules for you as a way of taking care of you.

He will set rules about when you eat (to make sure you never miss a meal), what you eat - he wouldn't ban you from eating junk food, but he would limit your intake of sugar and make it mandatory for you to eat a certain amount of healthy foods, and if you have a bad habit of consuming too much caffeine or soda, he is sure as hell gonna use sexual punishments to curb it.

His goal with casual dominance and the rules he makes will always be to take care of you and improve your quality of life - including your physical health and your mental health.

Is he always dominant?

I think that he vastly prefers being dominant because he is a control freak who hates giving up any kind of control, and funnelling those feelings into a BDSM relationship can keep him from exerting his intense need for control in other areas of life - like having emotional fits when other people don't do what he wants and violently beating up criminals. And on very rare occasions, when he is with someone he knows very well and trusts, he will play the submissive role. But I don't think he would ever be a submissive in a long term relationship.

If his sub misbehaves, I think he would avoid using pain as a punishment. I genuinely think he wouldn't be into spanking or any other type of painplay, because at the end of the day - even if he's strict about rules, it really makes his soul ache to hurt you.

One of his favourite punishments is overstimulation. He loves giving oral simply for the fact that he loves overstimulating you with his tongue for hours, and he loves vibrators and even fuck machines for the same reason.

He would use attention denial or ignoring you as a punishment - denying you of affection, or going as far as to ignore you completely if you want to talk to him at all (unless it's an emergency, of course).

He would also use this punishment in combination with overstimulation - setting you up with a vibrator pinned between your thighs and leaving you alone until you're whining and desperate, begging for his attention and ready to apologize for whatever rule you have broken.

I can also see him being into semi-public sex. He would be the type of dom to enjoy putting a remote control vibrator in your underwear just to push the button and watch you squirm at the most inconvenient times. He would also love taking you out to dinner somewhere nice and teasing you under the table, living to see you squirm and become desperate for him.

He would love any kind of bondage - tying you up in different complex ways, blindfolds, gags, all of those kinky things. As long as it doesn't hurt you, he would love seeing you vulnerable and wanting - he would love seeing rope against your skin. (And he would absolutely have the patience and intellect to learn complex shibari just to tie you up.)

And lastly (one that is obvious to me from the show) - Dick has a breeding kink.

He wants to be a father so badly, even if it's unconscious for him - it would come out when he feels you squeezing around his cock. And whether you can get pregnant or not (and whether you want kids or not), he would be obsessed with roleplaying the act of knocking you up. He would be obsessed with seeing his cum leak out of you, and telling you how he's gonna knock you up while he's deep inside of you. The first time you tell him to ditch the condom while having sex, it drives him insane, and it's the best sex of both your lives.

(A/N: I think that's a good round-up of all my headcanons for him lmao.)

[thinkin-bout-milgram]

Deep Cover: Initial Thoughts

Okay, this one is a lot to look at , especially given how relatively little is actually said. Still, I think I'm starting to make sense of it, so here's my analysis that I've figured out so far.

I'll be using @/oehale on Twitter's translation of Kotoko's voice drama Yonah. As usual, I'll be bolding my general topics/thoughts and moving forwards with that. Let's get started!

Kotoko sees herself as the new warden.

The most obvious comparison here is the mimicking of UNDERCOVER. Kotoko, like the original UNDERCOVER, has lyrics that start with "UNDER" and are followed by talking about the other prisoners. She also basically says as much to Es; they're working together now. They should work together to make the "right" Milgram.

It's pretty obvious that our little innocent deal with Kotoko has gone straight to her head. She now sees herself as part of the authority of the prison, and believes it's her role to give out the proper punishment for guilty verdicts. However...

Kotoko believes everyone in the prison (other than her) should be guilty.

This is pretty obvious based on those previously mentioned "UNDER" lines. They're all very critical. Notably, the ones that most clearly indicate this-- towards the end of the song-- only include the innocent prisoners, but she's made it pretty clear that she agrees the earlier guilties should have also been guilty.

“UNDER” Doltish “001 Parasite” “UNDER” Obscene “002 Slut” “UNDER” Incessant “004 Phony Queen” “UNDER” Doomed “005 Dissection Pawn” “UNDER” Concealing “007 Deceiver” “UNDER” Inept “011 Guard”

Even Es, the "inept guard," gets to face Kotoko's judgment! That line is interesting in conversation with the audio drama, which focuses on Kotoko calling Es weak because they've grown to like and have sympathy for the prisoners. Kotoko has come to view Es, someone who is willing to forgive the guilty (in her perception) prisoners, as being guilty as well for not condemning them.

(Also, 011? Are you implying that something will happen after the tenth? Am I right about a Trial 4 in which we'll vote on Es??)

Notably, for Kotoko, wanting everyone to be voted guilty basically means that she wants everyone else to die. In the intro to the second Trial, Kotoko said that she wouldn't go as easy next time, and Mahiru already nearly died this time around.

So ridiculous, isn’t it ridiculous They’re still here, still here, it grates me

This also definitely seems pretty "get everyone else out of here (kill them)" to me, especially given that it's shown after Kotoko smashes all the pieces representing the innocent prisoners as well.

The guilty ones were already broken earlier into the MV:

Futa's and Mahiru's were broken first; they've already been "broken" in the sense that they've been attacked. The other guilty prisoners go next, as they're Kotoko's next targets. Then, finally, the rest of the originally innocent prisoners, who Kotoko hopes will be voted guilty sooner rather than later.

This is also a small note, but I find it interesting that the line "I want a reason for judgment execution, I want it" was initially translated as "I need a good reason to give justice" in the Trial 2 Song Preview. The specific reference to execution was added/wasn't emphasized in the original version. I don't know what the "correct" direct translation is, but I always stand by the fact that if the translators chose to translate something in a certain way, it's intentional.

(Side note, but I wonder if UNDERCOVER's change in official lyrics to include all of the prisoners' Trial 1 song titles happened when they decided to mimic it in Deep Cover, which also includes the Trial 1 song titles. Could be a reason for the change in translation.)

And, uh... that's all I got. That I'm confident about, anyways. I still have other thoughts, though, so rather than me having bolded claims as section titles, I'm just gonna have, like... categories.

The Girl

You.

We've seen her before, in HARROW:

So, she's the one Kotoko rescued from this guy, right? That's what this seems to be telling us. However, there are a couple of important details to consider.

Where's her hat?

What about the girl in the white dress?

What about the girl in the pink shirt?

I'll get back to 1 in a bit.

The girl with the white dress in question only appears shortly in HARROW, and as far as I can tell, not at all in Deep Cover:

It could technically be the same girl, I guess, given that we can't see her face. However, then there's the pink shirt girl:

There's also still this thing from HARROW:

In my original HARROW theory, I theorized that the guy abducted Kotoko (the girl in the pink shirt), but the girl in the white dress distracted him/sacrificed herself long enough for Kotoko to get away. The memorial/potentially a police notification?/whatever the sign with the flowers is belongs to the white dress girl. Kotoko then later tracks down the guy who did it, when he's abducting the girl in orange. Kotoko then kills him.

Honestly, I think that this still tracks. We didn't really get anything else about the memorial, the girl in white or the girl in pink in this MV-- or the guy she killed, for that matter-- so there aren't any conflicts. I'll be moving forward assuming that that's true.

So, then, back to the orange girl. She isn't wearing the hat Kotoko gave her when we see her getting dragged off. What does that mean?

Establishing the Timeline

It seems most likely to me that most of Deep Cover happens after HARROW's murder. That's not just because the opening shot of Deep Cover looks like the end of HARROW. There's a lot more going into that.

First off, there's the girl. I initially thought that she might be Kotoko's sister, given the apparent familiarity Kotoko seems to show to her, rubbing her head in the park scene. However, once I remembered my initial theory, there are only really two possible interpretations I can think of for her involvement with the man Kotoko kills.

Either

She isn't at all related to Kotoko, and they "met" when Kotoko rescued her by killing the man, OR

She IS Kotoko's sister, in which case Kotoko probably used her as bait to lure out the guy in order to follow him back to his warehouse and kill him.

The second one was my initial read, but after looking at it longer, I think the first one makes more sense on the whole. If I'm right that the first thing that happens in the Deep Cover MV is the murder, that means that the park scene happens after it.

This isn't hard evidence or anything, but notably, the hat the girl has says "LUCKY" on it. If she's lucky, it probably means that she's lucky that she survived the situation with the man. It wouldn't be luck if she was planted there by Kotoko; it would only be luck if she happened to be the victim who's abduction lined up with Kotoko's rescue mission.

The park scene is still a little confusing to me if they were strangers, though. After all, Kotoko pretty pointedly ignores the girl at 2:06 to 2:19ish, and as far as I can tell, nothing major happened between the park and then.

There are three main explanations I can think of.

The first one is that the girl tried to stop her. Like, maybe she thought it was really cool when Kotoko rescued her, but when she realized Kotoko went to go threaten/possibly kill someone who, like, stole something from a business or something, she thought that was too much. This is pretty much entirely based upon the fact that the "Tell me why you tell me stop" lyric lines up suspiciously well with the change in the girl's expression from happiness to surprise, and then eventually what looks like fear.

The second one is that Kotoko is distracted at that point. In the park, we see Kotoko still looking at her phone, presumably looking for more wrongdoers. She spends time with the girl while simultaneously working, so it's no bother to her to spend time with the girl. However, when the girl tries to greet her later, she's in work mode. After passing the girl, we see Kotoko marching on forward with smoke (?) around her. It's very dramatic and she looks very threatening. It's even possible that she's doing a werewolf transformation type of thing there. If Kotoko has her sights set on a target, she might be more unwilling to waste time talking to the girl. This would signify that the people she rescues are irrelevant to her; her focus is on punishing wrongdoers, not checking in on saved would-be-victims.

The third one is that the park actually happened after the thing on the street, but given that she's already wearing the hat on the street scene, which she first wears in the park, that doesn't make a lot of sense.

I think the second option makes the most sense, so it's what I'll be going with.

So, the timeline looks like this:

Kotoko, as a child, is abducted by that one guy. She wears a pink shirt in the flashback. The girl in the white dress intercepts and allows Kotoko to escape. Years later, after becoming a vigilante, Kotoko tracks down the same guy and kills him, rescuing the orange outfit girl in the process.

The orange outfit girl finds Kotoko in the park and either receives or shows Kotoko the hat she got. Kotoko, while still looking at information for her next target, entertains her because she isn't actively busy.

The girl tries to approach Kotoko on the street. However, Kotoko is heading after her next target, and there's no time to lose. The expression of intensity and general coldness Kotoko gives off intimidates the girl, and Kotoko proceeds with her plans.

So, that's how Kotoko's murder works, right? There's absolutely nothing else related to time that could drive me insane!

...

Becoming a Lunatic (The Moon Phases)

Okay, Kotoko's a werewolf, she attacks on the full moon, we all get it. Except... goddamn it, there's more moon than just the full moon.

As far as I can tell, there are three moon phases that are shown across HARROW and Deep Cover. The first one I'm talking about is the full moon.

The Full Moon

The wolf zone occurrence of the full moon in HARROW lines up with when she kills the guy, which makes sense. In Deep Cover, it's preceding the time where she smashes all of the remaining innocent prisoners. That hasn't happened yet.

Because moon cycles happen repeatedly, I think it's okay to say that the full moon happened in the past, when Kotoko killed the guy, and in the future, where Kotoko hopes to kill the other prisoners. It's even possible there's a full moon we didn't see when Kotoko attacked Mahiru and Futa.

Like, that's probably just a spotlight, but it definitely COULD be moonlight. Either way, we don't see the sky, so it at least isn't conclusively NOT a full moon then.

So, full moon = violence. What else?

The Waning Crescent

Disclaimer I know nothing about moons. I am working off of this chart from timeanddate.com. If it's wrong blame them, I can't find a better chart anywhere on the internet.

Notably, the waning crescent is what the moon is for pretty much all of HARROW, except the quick appearance of the full moon at the end. There are clearly visible shots of it around 1 minute and 2 minutes in.

I don't really know what specifically waning crescent is supposed to mean here. Google says that it's about change and reflection, but spoilers, that's what it also told me about the third moon phase that shows up, so I don't know how much stock to really put into that.

I think the most obvious (?) symbolism of it is that it's right before the new moon, when the light isn't shining at all. If I had to take a stab at what the new moon represented, I'd say it's times in which Kotoko is powerless. She's powerless when she's looking for information before the first murder, she's powerless when looking at her crossed out board (more on that later), and she's powerless now-- when we're going to vote. She can't give out justice without our help. This is the last part before we give our verdict on her, so as she's looking around at the other prisoners, innocent and guilty alike, she's preparing to be able to do nothing. She hopes she'll get back to that full moon and exact justice on the other prisoners, but that's only hypothetical for now.

Let's talk about that board really quickly. This is how it looks in the middle of Deep Cover, when the crescent shows up:

This is how it looks at both the beginning and end of HARROW:

This is another reason to believe that Deep Cover happens after the end of HARROW. After all, it'd be hard to un-black out the papers, and given that they're hanging in basically the same positions, it'd be surprising if they were replaced papers. So, that means that Kotoko blacks out her information sometime after she successfully kills the guy.

The scene with the blacked out board is immediately followed by the final moon phase, and then by the girl in orange in the park.

The Third Quarter Moon

The crescent moon on top of the board directly fades into this third quarter moon. This made sense to me until I saw the arrow on the moon phase chart telling me to read it counterclockwise. Then I was confused.

Because the third quarter moon happens immediately before the waning crescent, I think that this moon shift is meant to serve as a time rewind. The scene with the girl in the park (and therefore also, the girl on the street) happens before the scene with the blacked out board. This supports the idea that Kotoko ignored the girl because she was taking out a target; after that scene, all her targets are gone, so Kotoko can cross out the information about them on her wall.

This also checks out with the stuff with the girl in the park and on the street happening after Kotoko kills the guy, given that the third quarter moon comes a little bit after the full moon.

There's no occurrence of the third quarter moon in HARROW. However, it does actually show up one other time in Deep Cover.

At 2:28, the moon shows up in third quarter again, then transitioning to a pink full moon. I'd assume that this shift backwards in the moon cycle, as it did earlier, signifies turning back in time. However, the pink full moon refers to Kotoko killing all of the remaining Milgram prisoners, an event that's already in the future. What happens after the hypothetical future scenario of Kotoko killing everyone?

The answer is, Kotoko collapsing in the wreckage of the destruction she caused. She's in her warden outfit, so it's consistent. The scratch marks probably indicate that this is immediately after she turns back from being a werewolf, in the hypothetical pink full moon.

This indicates that, somewhere in her mind, Kotoko realizes that she might suffer from killing everyone else, collapsing under the weight. It does seem like Kotoko understands that being the one true savior is difficult.

K: I know it well. It's so hard to hold the responsibility of a guard all alone. I've also felt this way. You are such a kind person. You can't stand the prison changing with the power of your choices. So you need someone to be with. Leave all of the dirty work to me.

Even if she wants to present herself as someone who's crushed her own weakness, she still has to worry. The lyrics of the chorus are begging Es to give her her next target. If she doesn't have people to target, she doesn't have purpose. Her board is all blacked out; the guilty prisoners will be crushed. Once all that's said and done... what else is she going to do?

Conclusion

Anyways, that's my best shot at understanding this MV. It is... confusing. The main things I still don't understand across the two MVs are the many wolves with purple glowing eyes in HARROW and what the hell the pieces that represent the other prisoners in Deep Cover are. If they're not chess, then what are they???

oh wait lmao i forgot

VERDICT: GUILTY

We already knew this one.

I can't tell Kotoko that it's right to kill the rest of the prisoners, and she really needs to be restrained. I don't know exactly what the damage is gonna be to Kotoko's mental state, but for the safety of everyone else, I kinda have to. She makes fair points about us verbally torturing prisoners not being that different from physically harming them, but... we're at the very least not shooting to kill?? Like, if you kill them, there's no hope at redeeming them. That's what we're trying to do, even if the tactics Milgram gives us are less than ideal.

Anyways, tell me your thoughts and if any of this made sense! Happy end of Trial 2!