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#not me coming into a fandom 2 years too late
moeblob · 10 months
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Alright I told someone I would give propaganda for these two so here we go. As a warning, I didn't play mobile or Re-Mind soooooooo. Yeah there's that. I know they're apparently involved in past stuff but shhh.
So first off, everyone's weapon is super useful! Except theirs. Which I always thought was really funny? Even in Re:CoM Zexion's book was more direct than these two. I really enjoyed them just as the most indirect fighters? And figured they'd be pretty chill and after playing KH2 as a kid I'm like. I think Luxord would be most tolerable to music while vibing. He could play Solitaire or something while Demyx played music and possibly chatted. Therefore, my younger self was like "it's perfect".
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ALSO CONSIDERING THEIR NUMBERS! And the line in KH3 during the scene where Demyx is like "yup I got benched", they've probably got a history. However, the number they get originally is supposed to be the order they joined. So with Marluxia and Larxene obviously tied together in the past, all I can think of is these two just being absolute bums wandering around pre-Organization and just hitch hiking their way into a cult. Which is also REALLY funny to me because what if they joined at the same time but Demyx got to be IX and Luxord is X.
Demyx would hold his rank over his head for the dumbest stuff (in my head canons of the past).
Like there's so many things we specifically do not know about these two so basically, until I'm proven absolutely incorrect in game (which might have happened and I just don't know) ! I think they'd be a good match.
And I mean, it's also just (gestures) LOOK AT HOW CUTE THEY ARE. Great designs and I think that's good enough for me!
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petorahs · 1 year
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shuake rite of passage is like. spending most of the entire game going 😐🤨🤔😳 at their banter/flirting/dates. being intrigued when the normally silent protagonist exclaims a heated "this isn't 'trivial'!" about his one and only rival's life, completely independent of player input. accepting the undeniable fact that 'our light' is basically a love song from protag's point of view to said rival. finding out about proof of justice ova. watching proof of justice ova. watching proof of justice ova again. going insane at the fact that the normally silent protag who never cries, cried over their rival in public. the fact that he was thinking about him before bed. realizing the one active, 'selfish' choice and wish protag had always involved his fated rival in some way, again completely independent from player's views on said rival.
and then becoming lucid for one second and finding out you just dug yourself into a shuake rabbit hole and theres no getting out
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moonstruckmoony · 3 months
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A Ravenclaw Lunch 🦅
Drew some of my favorite Ravenclaws on this platform. Although one isn't necessarily a Ravenclaw. (@traceyc-uk I genuinely thought he was a Ravenclaw when I first saw him lol but I saw your comment reply somewhere that your first playthrough was Ravenclaw so I think this counts… a bit? 😂)
This post is basically a peace offering (and a love letter) bcs I want to make more Ravenclaw friends 👀👉🏻👈🏻 definitely not because I'm obsessed with you guys' MCs
I swear it was supposed to be a silly doodle at first but idk how or when down the line but somehow it turned into this mega drawing. Took me weeks to finish it. I’m not happy with a few technical things especially lights and shadows… and some other things as well but I leave it be bcs I’m aware that I’m still learning 🥲 The rest I’m pretty satisfied with, I’m just happy that I got to finally finish this.
Front row (left to right):
Violet and Pearl Castellar by @vienguinn Omg HAPPY BELATED BELATED BIRTHDAY TO THESE BABIES! These 2 are some of my favorites and everytime you post I always open my phone real quick, your short comics are my comfort 🩵
Clora Clemons by @choccy-milky I cannot not draw Clora?!!?! I consider you a legend in this fandom tbh 👑 also I want to thank you bcs your fic and illustrations literally helped me go through my stressful period when I was at my lowest bcs of my new demanding job that I started half a year ago. I look forward to your post everytime and your Clora and Seb always heals my soul 😭🩵💚
Sally Salamander by @siboom777 Sally is just so wacky and unapologetically herself and I love her for it 🩵 Does she take commissions for toys tho?
Marvin Jerry by @runicxraven MY LOVELY SILLY ADORABLE LITTLE NERD 💗💗💗💗 I need more Marvin in my life honestly.
@najiang ‘s MC - I’m so so sorry I didn’t draw her full face😭, I tried my best to show her face as much as I can while still looking like she’s taking those sausages haha. But anyway please know that I love your art so so much and I kept going back to the curry one and the one where MC came across Amit with beard as adults (that one is hilarious). Idk if your MC has a name or you left it nameless? I assume it was the latter but if she has one I’d love to know!
Faustine Daemon by @faustinio27 Hey, a fellow INFJ! Winter is the same 🩵 I really love her story and especially her personality character sheet, you drew her expressions really well and I’m a fan!
Back row (left to right):
Oliver Lennox by @pixie-dustss Handsome boi 🥰 We’re friends already (I hope I’m not the only one who thinks that way 🫢) from TikTok and you made me a video for Secret Santa last year and I just found out recently that you’re on Tumblr too so I want to say thanks by drawing Oliver! 🩵🩵🩵
Aurélie Collins by @morelikeravenbore I loove this look for Aura, she just looks so chic with the hat and scarf 😭🩵 Sassy Ravenclaw bebe 🥰 My Winter has some French heritage (the lore is still rotting in my notebook bcs I haven’t had the chance to draw her family members 🥲) so I do hope they can be friends and Aura would teach her French bcs she can’t speak much of it 👉🏻👈🏻
Alistair Dusk by @speedysart Surprise! You commented on my last speedpaint on Tiktok yesterday and I want to spill this art so bad but I was almost done so I kept my mouth shut haha. I love the pretty boi’s hair and piercings, and the fact that you chose this blazer for him, I just love it he looks so dapper in that 😣🩵
Eleonora Russel by @zordanna I love sweet Eleonora and her fascination with the moon and stars 🩵🌌 Oh and I kept coming back to your “I feel like an orange” Tiktok bcs it’s so fluffy and it heals my stress… also I adore your art it’s super soft and painty and delicate 🥹💗
@traceyc-uk ‘s MC - YOUR MC. I SWEAR TO MERLIN HE’S ON MY MIND 24/7 LATELY. Not sure why, it’s probably bcs I kept re-reading your comics. Also bcs he’s an adorable little golden retriever (but also a fierce cat!😼) You’re super talented in drawing comics and facial expressions, I have a lot to learn especially in terms of layouting… last time I made a comic I hated the layout and the fact that it looks stiff to me, so your comics has been such an inspiration!
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rebelumbrella46 · 1 month
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Let’s just be honest—The Umbrella Academy was essentially cancelled after Season 3, but given the massive fandom, Netflix gave them the chance to wrap up the story with a final season. It’s similar to what happened with Shadowhunters—it was cancelled, but after the outcry from fans, they were given two more episodes to tie things up.
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For me, the first two seasons were masterpieces. They truly became my comfort show and introduced me to my comfort characters. This might sound cheesy, but it’s true—when the first season aired, I was going through a rough time in my life, and I held on to this show like my life depended on it. Season 2 arrived amidst the pandemic, and it was a light in the darkness for me as well. Even with the massive success of Season 2, I think Netflix hesitated to greenlight another season. I remember waiting for an announcement, and it felt like it took forever.
Season 3 was filmed during the pandemic, and if I recall correctly, Netflix cut the budget for visual effects. So, the season didn’t quite live up to the expectations set by Season 2. Regardless of its flaws, I enjoyed it, but I would have enjoyed it more if the writing hadn’t been so sloppy and, at times, cheesy.
But this last season? It feels like fanservice—and not even good fanservice. For example, the Lila and Five thing? The enhanced powers? The Jennifer Incident? All of it fell flat. Klaus’s storyline this season was basically what I wanted to see in Season 3, but it was delivered too late and added nothing meaningful to the plot.
But was the main plot really supposed to be about Jennifer? Who cares about introducing a new character in the final season instead of focusing on saying goodbye to the beloved main characters?
The subplots were boring. Klaus’s storyline was fanservice, but it felt like they just threw us a bone to appease years of fans asking for Klaus to get his comic powers. And it was insulting. Ben and Jennifer in love? Unrealistic and boring. The train station? Who came up with that cheap idea? I thought it would be a place built by Reggie, but there was no explanation at all.
The apocalypse no longer feels exciting or even important. There’s no sense of urgency anymore.
The family dynamics—the strongest part of this show—felt odd and weak. Pairing Viktor with Reginald was boring. Lila and Diego’s drama? Nonsense. And what was the point of Claire? I thought she would be the main conflict of the season, with everyone banding together to save a character we’ve known since Season 1, who has emotional ties to every Umbrella.
And where were the villains? To make it as interesting as Seasons 1 and 2, you need a great antagonist. Like Hazel and Cha-Cha, The Handler, Reginald, or even an antihero like the Sparrows, Harlan, or the Commission. Why not make Abigail the greatest threat? Or bring back some of the former villains?
What about resolving old family drama, so that if the show’s end was going to be the family sacrificing themselves, they could all go in peace?
Instead, they didn’t address Allison’s betrayal at all. They created a huge rift between Five and Diego. Nothing for Klaus and Ben. No Umbrella Ben. No Sloane. Why is Lila even here anymore? Why didn’t she just ditch out like Ray and leave Diego with the kids to be a single dad? That would’ve made more sense coming from Lila than from Ray, to be honest.
For me, the writers, producers, and directors knew this show was cancelled, so they didn’t even try anymore. For me, the ending of season 3 was meant to be the ending of the show.
I watched Game of Thrones after it ended, so I didn’t experience the same level of rage, disappointment, and betrayal that fans felt. But now, I do.
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queers-gambit · 1 year
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Dinner At The Homesick Restaurant
( a 303-page novel by Anne Taylor )
prompt: behind closed doors, many families have secret turmoil. you experience your boyfriend's with him one fateful Christmas. or how Carmy finally made the decision to get away.
pairing: Carmen 'Carmy' Berzatto x female!reader pairing: Carmy x Peach
fandom masterlist: FX's The Bear
word count: 10.4k+
note: highly recommend the book. also let author write out her stress and trauma please, this was GOING TO get deleted but 10k is a lot of effort so please be kind in what you say.
warnings: spoilers, cursing, toxic family, small hurt and comfort, loving someone despite toxic situations beyond anyone's control, Lord's name in vain, a little of what happens after THAT scene, reader nicknamed Peach.
⚠️ season two, episode six spoilers
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"What're you readin', Peach?"
You looked up through the lens of your glasses, smiling at your questioning boyfriend as his bare feet slapped the polished floors of the hotel suite you sought refuge in. You greeted with a soft tease, "Good morning to you, too, sunshine."
"Yeah, yeah. You're right, sorry, hi," he smirked, bending down to kiss your lips in greeting. "Been up long?"
"No, no, just about a chapter or so," you lied, not wanting him to know you've been up for hours out of sheer anxiety. "I made us some coffee, too."
"My perfect girl," he smirked, bending to kiss you again. "Want a refill?"
"I'm okay, thank you." It was quiet for a moment before you heard Carmy fucking around in the kitchen, trying to focus on the novel in your lap, but being most unsuccessful. "Don't forget about tonight," you called in reminder, wondering how to broach the subject before just ripping the Bandaid off.
"What's tonight, again?"
"Carmy."
"I'm kidding," he chuckled, exiting the kitchen to take a seat on the couch at your feet, bringing them onto his lap. "I know, we're gonna go over at, like, 2..."
You nodded absently, seeing the distant look in his eye. "Are you sure it's okay for me to come?" You wondered, nudging him with your foot.
"Hmm?" Carmy looked at you in confusion. "Peach, you've been before, why would it be weird now?"
"I don't know, I wasn't a girlfriend all those times I attended."
"Oh, you're a girlfriend this year? Hmm... To who?"
Your eyes rolled as you pinched him; loving the easy smile on his lips. "Not funny, I'm just trying to be sensitive to all parties," you pouted.
"I know," he allotted, taking a mouthful of coffee before setting his mug down. He started rubbing your feet and ankles, admitting, "I'm a little nervous, I guess..."
"I know."
"It's nice that you'll be there," he nodded, sighing. "They all still give me shit for going away."
"I know, and it's not fair to you," you assured, "you don't deserve that kinda treatment. Say the word, Bear, and we'll skip it."
"Too late now," he wiped his tired eyes. "I need a smoke, Peach."
"I'm gonna hop a shower."
"I'll be in," he smirked, standing with his coffee after gently lifting your feet from his lap. You watched him move for the balcony sans a shirt and frowned when your mind repeated the passage you had just read. Quickly, you opened your book again and read what made your heart so very heavy:
"'You think we're a family,' said Cody, turning back. 'You think we're some jolly, situation-comedy family when we're in particles, torn apart all over the place, and our mother was a witch.'"
The similarities were eery. You saw Carmy light up through the glass door of your rented hotel suite, knowing his family was falling apart and he was powerless to it all; they all were. Carmy, his siblings, any loved ones... You tossed the book on the table, stood, and moved for the balcony.
Carmy leaned on the railing, glancing over shoulder as your arms slithered around his middle. With a kiss to his bare shoulder, you whispered, "I love you, Cream. So much."
He took a long, steadying breath, but replied with full sincerity, "I know, and I love you, too, Peach. So much."
Yeah, that's right, bitches. You were Peaches and Cream. Did it get cuter than that? Didn't think so!
Another kiss to his shoulder and you promised, "I'll be with you the whole time."
"I know."
"You're not alone."
"I know," he sighed. "I just... I know what we're walking into."
"We'll get through it - whatever happens. C'mon, come get a shower with me. It'll save water and shit."
However, you probably used about twice as much because as obvious romp in the glass-stall started. When clean, you both got out, dried off, did your hair, then your make-up; then both getting dressed and ready for one helluva holiday.
On the way, you stopped to pick up flowers for Carmy's mother, Donna, keeping hold of the homemade peach cobbler you had prepared. The whole drive, Carmy kept a possessive hand on your thigh; his nerves showing through as he nervously tapped a rhythm to your flesh. You reminded him to breathe, but he couldn't focus long enough to keep himself regulated.
You tried distracting him with conversation, but nothing stuck for too long. You tried letting a hand thread into his curls, but it didn't soothe him like it usually did.
Arriving, you and Carmy just sat in your car for a long moment. You didn't rush him, you did't speak, you just held his hand with one hand as the other extended to toy with the hair at the nape of his neck; and waited for his move. "All right," he cleared his throat, throwing his cigarette butt out the window before rolling it up and cutting the engine. "You ready?"
"We got this," you assured softly.
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"There you are," Carmy smirked, hands catching your waist as you tried to pass through the hall, "thought you ran outa here already."
"We're just warming up," you purred, his chest to your back; your arms crossed to hold onto his engorged biceps. You grinned as your foreheads met for a fleeting moment of peace.
"I'm really happy you're here," he whispered.
"Me, too."
"Love you, Peach."
"Love you, Cream," you sang, making him chuckle a little.
"You know, some of the guys thought you and I finally getting together is all some big cover story."
"Oh, yeah?"
"Mhm," he hummed, snuggling into your embrace as you both found a secular moment of seclusion to get in a much-needed recharge. "Say you're actually dating some hunky Italian model dude."
You hissed between your teeth, "So, so close, but he's actually French."
Carmy chuckled, then took a sobering breath and glanced over his shoulder. "Should get back. I found Mikey and Nat - they were on the front stoop, smoking."
"Good," you mused, turning in his embrace. "Gimme a kiss, please, then you can go," you pouted.
He looked up, then at you with mocking confusion, "But there's no mistletoe."
"I wanna kiss."
He snickered at your pouting, fat lip, leaning in to find your lips with his. There was a brief moment outside of time, space, and reality; and it was when you and Carmy kissed. God, was he a good kisser, albeit a bit wet, but still a damn-good kisser; and you relished every moment of it. His taste was like an intoxication. His hands hot. Smell prickled your sinuses delightfully. Body firm, love warm.
"Ewww," Fak gagged when he saw you two, "get a room, nobody wants to see that! Ugh! God!" He shuffled past you.
"Fak," you snipped, watching him pause.
"Sorry, Peach," he sighed, leaning in to peck your cheek. "You look beautiful as ever."
You hummed, patted his cheek, and then took Carmy's hand to enter the kitchen after Fak where Donna worked frantically. "Hi, Mama, Dee!" You greeted cheerfully, Carmy's hand already sweating.
"Oh! Hi, my baby, Peaches! Oh, good, good, good, you made it!" Donna rushed over to kiss your cheeks, hands held out to not get grease or sauce or fish on you. "You look so beautiful!" She gasped, "Oh, honey, you look - wow! Stunning! Just stunning!"
"Oh, you just like flattering me," you teased, feeling Carmy's hand tighten. "Something smells so fucking amazing - oh, this is going to be a dinner for the books, huh?"
"Who's flattering who now?" She laughed.
"It's not flattery when it's completely true," you laid on thick, hoping the compliments bulked up to fluff her ego enough to save the family from an inevitable breakdown later.
"Did you bring your cobbler?" She asked with glee.
"Of course," you beamed, "I couldn't come here without one, that'd just be criminal!" Donna laughed with you, and you thought now was a good time to ask, "Can I help with anything?"
"What? Oh! No, no, no, honey, Peaches, no, no, no, I just want you to get a drink and go talk - go mingle! It's the holidays!"
You looked at Carmy as she went back to cooking, flabbergasted as to what you could say. "I'm gonna stay, you go - sit," He whispered with pinched brows and nodding his head, rubbing your waist. "Go 'head, baby, it's okay."
"I could peel - "
"It's alright, Peach," he chuckled, pecking your lips. "Go." His lips moved to your ear, "I want you good and drunk by tonight so we can have really dirty sex later, huh?"
"Deal," you purred. "But I can sit over there - "
"Peach."
You glanced at Donna, then at Carmy, whispering, "I just want to help."
"I know, Peach. Not right now though, okay?"
"She likes me, though." He nodded in agreement, looking ready to cave. "Stop trying to get outta this, Carmy, and just accept it," you smirked. "I'm gonna get some wine and be back."
He hummed as you kissed him in parting, and when you exited, missed the way Donna smirked at Carmy, "Can't leave a room without a kiss? Didn't think you'd ever be so possessive, Carmy, honey."
"I'm not, she likes it," he eased. "Here, let me get that," he freed her hands, trying not to snap when she picked up her wine immediately after. Carmen got to work doing what his mother barked at him, but then the Faks came in, and you returned, and then Mikey arrived - it all turning into an overcrowded shit-show.
"Where's the cake!?" Donna worried.
"It's defrosting, Ma," Carmen answered.
"Ma, why don't you let him help you?" Mikey sneered. "It's, like, all he fucking does, he'd be great."
"What was that? Was that, like, a shot?" Carmy snapped.
"Baby, don't, c'mon," you tried, reaching for his waist to curl your fingers so he felt your long nails. Not too hard, just enough to assure him you had ahold of him.
But Carmen couldn't let it go, even when his mother tired to diffuse the siblings. He snarled at his older brother, "I'm the guy that does food. You're the guy that what? Y-Y-You, uh, start a hundred different businesses and have zero follow-through."
"Carmy, don't," you tried, but it was lost to the sea of voices all talking at once.
But his brother was antagonizing, his mother deflecting, and he snapped, "This is why - This is why I didn't wanna come home, why I didn't wanna bring Peaches home to you all."
You remained silent when his mother snapped, "Oh, fuck you!"
"What the fuck!? What!?"
"Why the fuck would you say that?" Donna snarled.
"It's fuckin' Christmas," Mikey tacked on. They both over lapped one another, and Carmy felt backed into a corner.
"Not in front of my girl, man, fuck," Carmy had snipped at them.
"Say the fuckin' words!"
Carmy paused, then answered, "I love you, guys."
His mother was pleased and kissed his cheek, going back to cooking as Mikey kissed Carm's head. He looked over at you, mutely taking your outstretched hand to give a squeeze for each count to five; regulate his breathing, and then nodding in assurance he was okay. He went back to doing whatever his mother directed. Before he could slip away, you leaned into his ear, whispering, "I'm gonna step out."
"Good," he nodded, glancing back at his mom - but Donna was distracted. "I'll find you soon," he promised, pecking your lips before you exited the kitchen.
"Hey! Hey, Peach!"
"Hi, Mikey," you smiled, looking up at him when you paused outside the kitchen.
"Listen, uh... I just, uh... Look, I know I put you in a weird position," he sighed, hand to the back of his neck.
"How so?"
"By callin' you... Textin' you..."
"You want to check on Carmy," you sighed, "and you're as good as my real brother, so, I don't mind."
"It feels wrong since, you know, y'all are together now or somethin'."
"Mikey," you eased, "I was your guys' friend first, then I was family, and then I was Carmy's girlfriend. If you need your friend or your sister, I'm here, but if you need Carmy's girlfriend, I'll have to tell him. Get it?"
He chuckled, "I knew you'd understand."
"All too well," you eased.
"He doin' all right...?"
"He will be. He's just," you took a pause to sigh, "really tired and stressed. He works really hard, Mikey... Like really, really hard. Like you wouldn't believe."
"Nah, I know, Peaches, I know."
"Might be nice for him to hear that sometimes."
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"That's what I'm fucking talking about!"
You apologized and had to leave Michelle when you heard Carmen's elevated voice, excusing yourself to look around the corner and spot your boyfriend in some heated argument with his brother and his brothers best friend, who they called Cousin, Richie Jerimovich. You were about to step in when you froze, hearing the argument without the guys realizing you were standing there.
"Seriously?" Mikey laughed. "You seriously think you're gonna keep a girl like Peach? Man, we all know this is some bullshit fling, but seeing Claire Bear - Man Alive!"
"That doesn't even make sense!" Carmy snapped.
"Oh, c'moonnnn, Carmy," Richie groaned, "look, I love her, I do, but we all know there ain't no way Peach is, like, girlfriend material. She's still sowing her wild oats, you know, just, fuckin' around and shit!"
"Fuck did you say!?" Carmy snarled, lunging for Richie but being caught by Fak's faster hands. "Huh!? The fuck did you just say!? Callin' my girl a slut? Fuck are you on about - "
"No, I ain't say - "
"Better watch your fucking mouth," Carm growled, "and learn to respect our relationship 'cause neither of us are goin' anywhere. Peach is here to stay - like it or not - and she's here to stay with me!"
"But you had such the crush on Claire - "
"I had a crush on Peach, too!"
"But Claire - "
"Nothing about Claire, Jesus, fuck! I don't need y'all fucking meddling! Peach and i are good, fuck you doin' set me up with some other chick!? I don't want nobody else - I got the girl of my fuckin' dreams, fuck you guys doin' tryna ruin that!?"
"We're just tryna help you, man, talk you up, man! Fuck! Don't gotta sound so ungrateful - "
"You don't need to! You don't need to talk me up to anybody, you fuckin' idiots! I have Peach! I don't need you to talk me up because I'm good, okay? I'm good. I got Peach, I'm committed to her, so don't try to talk me up to anyone for any fucking reason - good intentions or not!"
"Y'all aren't even serious!" Mikey laughed loudly. "C'mon! Peach isn't a relationship kinda girl, ain't no way you're thinkin' y'all are gonna last or be some, like, serious thing. You're just bored! But we're telling you, man, Carmy, you don't gotta be anymore, 'cause Claire Bear is - "
"Not my fucking girl!" Carm snapped, temper loosening. "Fuck off! Ain't got nothing decent to say - then just shut the fuck up!"
They called Steven in and you panicked for a millisecond before evening your stride to look like you just arrived. "Hey," you smiled to the lads, "what's all the yelling about? Jesus Christ, it's like a holiday at my house when Meemaw comes to visit."
"I told you," Carmy's attitude directed at you, making you feel disarmed, "these assholes don't respect our relationship, they were trying to set me up with someone else."
You offered the others a stale look as your hand latched to Carmy's, sounding like a scolding mother, "Real mature, you guys. That's wildly disrespectful and it's hard not to take it personally."
"We don't mean it in a bad way, Peach," Richie sighed, "just that there's other options and neither of you have to settle."
"'Settle'?" Carmy laughed, and you had to readjust your stance to prevent him from charging. "You're forgetting Peach did whatever she could to make us work, she was loyal when none of y'all could bother answering the phone, and she always held me down. And then, when I was finally good, I promised her we could come home. So, you jagoffs owe her your thanks that we're even home this Christmas."
"None needed," you smiled, wanting to start screaming yourself but holding back for the sake of Carmen. "I'm sure their jealousy keeps them warm at night, who am I to take that from them by having them apologize?"
"Don't do that," Mikey groaned. "Get all high and mighty."
"How have I ever? You're the assholes shitting on your brother for having a girlfriend. Just 'cause you've all thought about me when self-pleasuring, doesn't mean take your jealousy out on our relationship."
The argument started up again, sighing as you didn't engage but instead tried to hold your boyfriend back when he bared his teeth at a few comments hurled at you both. You flinched away when Mikey started reaching for Carmy to physically pick at him, inciting his anger; making him snap back to not "fucking touch" him.
"Mikey, please," you tried to stave off, but Richie reached out and lugged a heavy arm around your shoulders. "Richie, for fuck's sake. C'mon, just fuck off. Mikey, don't fucking touch him - c'mon, guys!"
"Awh, you get so defensive for him, it's so cute," Richie laughed, jostling you a little as Mikey and Carmy still snapped and snarled at each other in the way only siblings could.
"'Cause y'all don't know how to fuckin' stop," you pushed Richie off you. But then...
"HEY!"
You flinched when a wooden spoon flew through the air to hit Stevie, who yelped in shock from the sting. "Hey! What the fuck?" He looked up and asked, "Auntie D, did you just throw a spoon at me?"
"Yeah, I did," Donna snarled, hanging in the doorway. "You, Richard, bring her the pop - "
"Deedee - "
"You, Carmen, I need you!"
This triggered another avalanche of voices to overlap one another. You moved towards Carmy as Mikey approached his mother, hearing Richie tell Carmen, "We're not done about this Claire Bear thing."
"Yes, you fucking are," you snapped, pushing Richie a half-step back. "Fuck off, Cousin, you're taking this too far."
"I only meant - "
"We all know what y'all mean, but go fuck yourself! We're happy, now either accept that or fuck off 'cause you're not gonna come between us. Go, goodbye, go, go, go tend to your pregnant wife - go, goodbye, fuck you," he tried to talk over you, sounding amused, "Merry Christmas, I love you and shit, but fuck you, go away."
He backed off as Stevie left the room, allowing you to turn for Carmy as he leaned on the arm of an armchair. His head shook and reached for you, bringing you in closer until his head rested on your stomach and his arms coiled in a vice grip. You frowned and thread your fingers through his hair, hearing his mother starting up another tangent about needing Carmen. With a sigh, he looked up at you, "Thank you."
"Hmm?"
"For just being here," he whispered. "I'm sorry about them."
"They're breaking your balls, baby," you smiled, curling his curls behind his ears. "C'mon, we should go help your mama."
Carmy sighed and stood to his feet, "You don't have to stay."
"But then how will I know you're okay?" You pouted, watching him smile and wrap his arms around your waist.
"I'm sorry about them," he whispered. "They don't - they don't know what the fuck they're talking about."
"It's okay," you matched his tone, ignoring your own burning-hot emotions. "They're just jealous."
He nodded, hearing his mother snarl something else about needing him; making Carmy sigh. His lips found yours in a slow kiss, pausing to lean his forehead on yours, "Really grateful you're here with me, Peach."
"Nowhere else I'd rather be, Cream," you grinned, starting to lead him back towards the kitchen.
"Hang on," he paused you, glancing around to see nobody lingering. "You know I love you, Peach, right?"
"And you know I'm very serious about this relationship, Carmy, right?"
He rested against you, breathing, "I know." Then his lips spread in a grin, "Gonna marry you one day, Peach."
"Good," you teased, but being honest, "because I can't see spending my life with anyone else but you, Cream. I mean, who else has a family this entertaining?"
He laughed as he followed after you.
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"Help me, Peach, please, Goddamn it," Donna grunted, trying to lift a heavy, full cast iron pot. "There we go," she mused when you gabbed the other end to put it back on the burner. You didn't comment that it was the same pot she had Carmy move earlier, just doing as she asked.
She only let you in the kitchen because of Carmy.
Speaking of... "Behind, baby," Carmy muttered, a hand ghosting your waist as he moved. Sugar appeared and you only tried to minimize yourself as eight different timers were ringing for any unknown fucking reason.
Donna sent Carmy off to get saltines for a pregnant, nauseous Tiff, leaving you three women. "Oh!" Donna gasped, "You're almost empty! Here, here, Peach, here you go!" She cheered when she saw your nearly-empty wine glass. Sugar sent you a long look, and you knew this was eating her alive to watch her mother like this; but you hoped you were enough of a buffer for them.
A few minutes later, Donna asked if you could go grab another bottle of wine for you two to share. You froze, between a rock and a hard place; knowing you shouldn't but not wanting to upset the host. You had once done the same with your own mother, perhaps being a reason you didn't go home for holidays.
"Yeah, of course, one second, Miss Lady," you told Donna, sending a confused look to Sugar.
When you walked out, you nearly ran straight into Carmy. "Shit," he breathed, "sorry, baby, didn't mean to run into you like."
"It's okay, but where you goin', speed racer?"
"Mikey's gift," he actually grinned, watching you return his excitement after knowing how much thought he put in.
"You know we're doing exchanges later," you laughed lightly, watching him go. Finding the wine rack, you selected a bottle, and returned to the kitchen where Donna and Sugar were bickering. "Here," you smiled, setting the bottle down to uncork it.
"Thank you, honey," Donna purred, accepting your pour. When she turned for the stove again, you winked at Sugar and discreetly tipped the wine bottle over into the sink to drain it until it was about a quarter way full. "Carm? Where the fuck are my saltines?" She yelled.
When he returned, he gave his mother what she needed before approaching you. "Wanna take a break?" He mumbled.
"Dinner doesn't make itself, baby," you teased.
"Hmm," he hummed, pecking your neck, "I'm gonna run Tiff up some crackers."
You continued your work for several long minutes, when suddenly, Donna pulled one of the seven fishes from the oven. She turned, set it on the counter, but stumbled last second to accidentally knock her wine glass over. The shattering made both Sugar and Donna swear. You wanted to help, but Sugar was already on the floor trying to clean, causing Donna to seethe, "It's like I fuckin' have to do everything for everyone." You and Natalie tried to assure her, but she spoke over any reassurance, "No one fucking lifts a finger to help me."
"Look, I'm getting it right now!"
Donna leered over her daughter, making you freeze, "Can you just go upstairs and get Dad's gun out of my drawer," she held her thumb and pointer finger like a gun, muzzle to her temple, "and I think I'm just gonna blow my fuckin' brains out, and then you guys can make dinner - " Sugar tried to speak over her mother but was unsuccessful, "because I don't think anyone would fuckin' miss me!"
Natalie sobbed as she tried to say anything other than "No! You're okay!" When the older woman gabbed her daughter's cheeks in a pinching-hold, you felt like throwing up as the scene - the words - the actions - it was all too familiar to you. They still yelled over one another, but then, Steven entered the kitchen and disturbed them all.
He only got to greet, "Hey, Donna, Mama D - "
Before Donna screeched at him, "Oh, motherfucking asshole!"
"Out, out, out," You ushered, gently directing Stevie to the door; Sugar repeating what you said as Donna still snarled and yelled and insulted and cursed.
"Get the fuck out!"
"I'm so sorry, Stevie," you whispered when you pushed him out the door. "Thank you for offering, but we got it - it's okay."
You sniffled as Sugar collected the trash and promised to take it out; one of the timers ringing. Donna looked lost and confused as Sugar left, the matriarch whispering, "What's that for?"
"Is it the flounder?"
She didn't answer, lost in her mind, yet muttering, "Nobody would fuckin' miss me."
"Mama D?" You called, watching her startle back into reality. "Is that timer for the flounder?"
"Oh! Right! Yes!" She clapped, pointing at you, "And that's why you're my favorite, Peach. Tell you what," she scoffed, shaking her head, "don't you ever have kids. They fuckin' ruin everything, never show gratitude, never bother to help their fucking mother."
"Well, I'm not thinking about kids yet," you chuckled softly, hoping to distract her. "Still got a lot more life to live before that."
"Just don't do it," she spat. "Even with a sweet boy like Carmy, kids just ruin relationships. Marriage ain't no better, either. What - where's the fucking bread?"
"Here," you sighed, showing her the bread basket.
"Hey," Carmy entered the kitchen, looking exhausted, "can I talk to you for a second, Peach?"
"If your Mama doesn't need me," you nodded, not wanting to tell him too much about what you witnessed.
"I need you everyday, honey," she spoke softly, leaning in to peck your cheek, "but it's fine, it's fine - I don't need help. Go with Carmy. Go, go, go, go."
"Holler if you need us," you smiled, "even if it's just for hot gossip."
"My girl," she teased gently with a wink.
"C'mon," Carmy muttered, taking your hand, and leading you out a side door. He glanced around a few times, finally finding a secluded part of the house. When he came to a halt, you did too, and he sighed as his hands took your waist, "Sugar told me to come rescue you. Said something happened with Mom and I should check on you? The hell happened?"
You shrugged, "Just... Sometimes I forget what family feels like. I left mine for a multitude of reasons, maybe I feel like I fit in better with you Berzatto's. Mama D just got frustrated, and it reminded me of my mom. I wasn't scared, but I think I was triggered."
He nodded, "You need a break."
"I'm okay, I promise."
"You're not," he sighed. "You shouldn't be on the frontlines against her. Okay? It's too stressful for anyone and I need you with me. I need you whole. You know? Need you intact for me, and Ma's only gonna rip you to shreds."
You pouted, "I just... I thought if I helped, she'd feel calmer, maybe save you guys from taking her shit. We used to cook all the time together..."
Carmen sighed, reaching for your cheek to caress your jaw, "You really are a sweetheart." Carmy leaned in and claimed a kiss from your lips, making you both sigh in contentment. When he pulled back, Carmy whispered, "I love you, Peach."
"I love you, too, Bear."
"Carmy!"
He whined, deflating on your shoulder at his mother's cry. "Holidays are almost over, baby. Gotta hang on for a bit, I need you intact, too."
You parted ways, Carmy returning to the kitchen as you meandered around the rest of the rooms, peaking into each of them. "Hey!" Someone cheered, making you look up to a separate doorway leading to a sitting room.
"Oh, shit, hey, Pete!"
"Peaches!"
"Just Peach!"
He laughed and accepted your hug, "Merry Christmas! Happy holidays, seasons greetings, warm tidings, and shit."
"You, too," you cooed, glancing at the tin in his hand. "Oh... Y-You brought something?"
Pete blinked as the room snickered. "Yeah? It's... It's tuna casserole."
"And you brought fish... Why?"
"'Cause it's the Feast of Seven Fishes - "
"And by bringing tuna, it'd be eight fishes."
He sighed, "Yep, so I keep being told."
"I mean, good intentions, honey, but wildly misplaced," you winced. "Probably shouldn't let Carmy see..."
And of course, when you said that, your boyfriend came from behind to clap his hands and call, "Hey, family!" He tried to announce dinner but Pete was too happy to cheer loudly and greet your lover. "Woah, woah, woah. What the fuck is that?" Carmy demanded when he saw the aluminum dish tin.
"Don't tell him," Michelle voted.
"What do you mean, 'don't tell him?'" Mikey followed.
"It's nothin', it's nothin', I - "
"Peach," Carmy looked at you, making you freeze, "what is this? What is that? Peach, the hell is that?"
"Um, well," you tried to smile in reassurance, taking his stiff hand, "you know, you're gonna get mad, but Pete's heart was in the right place."
From behind, "Uncle" Lee told Carmy, "It's a tuna casserole."
You saw the way Carmy locked in on Pete, taking a half-step back but not letting go of his hand. "It's seven fishes, Pete," Carmy snapped. It started a new wave of slander. By the end, his hand was clamped around yours in a vice, leading you through the room and telling Pete, "Just don't let her see. Don't let her see!"
"Dinner," you reminded the room, following Carmy as Sugar passed to approach her husband.
"Wanna help me dress the desserts table?"
You nodded in agreement, and together, you and Carmy brought out all kinds of dishes to leave on the table. You were bringing out the peach cobbler you brought when you caught the tail-end of whatever Michelle was telling Carmy. "That's so nice," you interrupted, moving between the two to set down the cobbler, "offering up your place like that, but we have one."
Her head cocked, asking in interest, "You do?"
"My family does," you nodded.
"Well, think about what I said," Michelle told Carmy. "Would love to see you guys in the city," she smirked at you.
"Yeah, all right, sure," he agreed. When she left, you turned on your boyfriend with confusion, but he only sighed, "She was recommending I get away from this family-drama bullshit."
You shrugged, "Not a half-bad idea."
"We'll see..."
"Carmy," you frowned, "we'll do whatever is best and right for us. Okay? Nothing more or less."
"I hear you," he muttered.
"And I just got confirmation that we can use the apartment in Manhattan," you told him. "So, whenever we're ready to go, we can go, okay? We don't have to shack up in a hotel room for much longer."
"I don't mind it," he eased. "I'll make a decision... I'll make a decision by this weekend about New York, okay?" You agreed, him looking over your shoulder before taking your hand. "Dinner's on," he reminded, feeling your hand snake around his waist to rest; letting his arm raise to accommodate you, latch around your shoulders, continuing forward to the dining room.
However, before entering, you pulled Carmy to a halt. "Hey, hey," you smiled, turning him to face you, "I'm really proud of you for coming home. I know it's not easy, but you're so brave for going through this."
"'Brave'?" He scoffed.
"Brave," you agreed, nodding. "People associate it with knights slaying dragons, but in my opinion, it takes far more bravery to stand up to family than it is a stranger. Takes more bravery to confront those that haunt your home than it does to confront a literal dragon. Hmm?"
Carmy reached a hand out to curl a strand of hair behind your ear. "How'd you get so insightful?"
"That bullshit college you, Mikey, and Richie all roasted me about going to them years ago? Yeah, uh-huh, that education paid off."
"Didn't do shit for your grammar, though, did it?"
"Hush," you laughed, pinching his sides to make his squirm.
You and Carmen entered the dining room to see mostly everyone in their seats; slowly making it to your own on the other side of the table. "Here, Peach," Natalie smiled when you sat between her and Carmy; her at the head of the table. "Got you a refill," she set your wine glass in front of you.
"You're a literal angel."
"I have a question," Cicero addressed your half of the table as Carmy got up to check on his mother. "I heard why we call Sugar, Sugar, but where did the nickname 'Peach' come from?"
"Oh," you smiled at him, "Miss Mama Dee taught me to bake and helped me perfect this peach cobbler recipe. I brought it to all my family events, work events, and when I attended, all my school events. Since then, it just stuck as a name."
He hummed and nodded, offer a silent toast with his glass as Carmy returned - looking mildly startled.
You heard Michelle asking if she could start the process to dish up what she wanted to her plate, Carmy assuring her to wait until Donna; she was coming out at any minute. You leaned back in your chair, nuzzling your boyfriend's side; his hand latching around your upper knee to keep you close with you hugging his arm. "All right?" He mumbled, glancing down at you.
"Are you?"
"Mhm."
"What'd your mom say?" You whispered, feeling him stiffen. "Carmen, please..."
"She's upset, stressed; says nobody cares, nobody makes shit beautiful," he whispered frantically.
"Okay," you soothed in his ear, "just breathe, baby, I need you to breathe. Shh," his head was bowed so you pecked his cheek, "she's just stressed from the holidays. We all know how she gets."
He sighed and nodded, caressing the skin of your leg he had been gripping tightly. "Hey, Mikey?" Michelle asked sweetly.
"Yeah?"
"You wanna say grace?"
Mikey gave an awkward sort of chuckle, relenting, "I don't know, cousin. This motherfucker gonna cut me off?"
You blinked and reached for your wine, intrigue peaking. Uncle Lee, who the jab was directed at, cleared his throat and answered, "It depends. Uh, is it a grace we've heard a million times before?"
"Okay, okay," Cicero stepped in.
You offered, "Well, good Christians know the prayers 'cause they're said a million times, right? Huh?"
"Yeah!" There was another round of agreement, desperate to direct the attention away from the two men.
"Does that mean you wanna lead grace, Peach?" Jimmy asked.
"Oh, no, no, I think the honor should go to Stevie."
"Can I please not?" Steve blanched at the thought of public speaking.
His wife, Cousin Michelle, changed the subject by asking about the Feast of Seven Fish. Before you or anyone else could truly answer, Uncle Lee was overpowering everyone to give his explanation; trying to make a joke at the end about a Dutch oven by Baby Jesus' manger that burned him or something. You gasped when Mikey lobbed a fork at him, making a buzzer noise while he did.
"Oh," Carmy realized when you did, stretching his arm out to extend over you like a seatbelt; fork clattering to the floor.
"Did you just throw a fork at me!?"
"I did!" Mikey sang, chuckling to himself. "See, that's the thing, Lee, see, 'cause... Y-You see what you did, right? You remember you already bitched about the Dutch oven. See, you did that before."
"Michael," Cicero tried to diffuse, but Mike was deflecting like usual.
"And you fucking cut Peach off," Mikey snarled. "Trying to prove you're the smartest, right? Wanna answer a question that she'd answer the best? Last I checked, she studied different religions in college, so, why the fuck would you want to answer - instead of Peach - if not to just make a repeated, shitty joke?"
It made Carmy now bark, "Mike, hey, don't bring Peach in this, okay? Please, just - just chill out."
But Lee was just getting started. He was scolding Michael, and in the process, stuttered just a bit, but it was enough of a visible weakness. Mike started mocking Lee for his words and delivery, just angry at the 'uncle' without knowing directly what truly bothered himself. In fact, riding high on his angry adrenaline, Mikey looked over and asked for Fak's fork, but the tattooed family-friend wasn't too willing to hand it over; hoping this would pass and settle.
Mikey just reached for Fak's fork himself, promising he just wanted to borrow it. Yet he launched it in the air to throw at Lee again, the entire table voicing their discomfort and displeasure. Everyone tried to diffuse the tension; desperate to muddle the tension enough so it did not, at the least, escalate.
"Carmy," you worried, holding his protective arm, "we should do something. I can get Mikey out of here - "
"No," he muttered sharply, "you don't need to be so physically close to that kind of behavior."
You felt the air shift when Mikey told Lee he could throw forks if he wanted to because they were in his father's house. The tension brewed and your boyfriend looked more and more uncomfortable; leaning into his side enough to get him to do the same and lean into you while both sat rigidly.
Now Lee lit into Mikey in front of everyone about how he was living with his mother still, borrowing money from her and anyone else who listened to Mikey's "bullshit". Now Cicero was pushing back at Lee, not appreciating the turn of events after being labeled a "sucker" by Lee only moments prior.
However, Mikey stepped back in, assuring Cicero it was "fine" that he wanted to mouth off - and Lee angrily repeated it. But he was far from being over; starting a new tangent, calling Mikey a loser. Then he started to throw the man's drug use in his face, telling Mikey to look through the fog and understand that there'd be consequences if he threw another fork.
It was quiet.
Nobody said a word as they all waited for Mikey's reaction. Carmen appeared on high alert, waiting for someone to make a move in case he had to jump in. Mikey asked Pete for his fork, picking it up, and creating a new tidal wave of voices all begging Michael not to do shit. To put the fork down. To not do a fucking thing. Over all the voices, it was Sugar's that cut above; reminding her brother she loved him, begging him not to do this.
Stevie giggled nervously, apologizing for it - claiming he giggled when uncomfortable. But Mikey encouraged him NOT to apologize, to fucking giggle and, "enjoy this," 'cause, "this is fun!"
You were so fucking nervous for whatever was to come.
Carmy's one arm was extended over you, the other crossed over his own body to hold your hand through the arm of the chair he sat in. Cicero tried to diffuse everything, Carmy's voice snapping support; but nothing was truly registering in Mikey's brain. In fact, he stood, and Lee flinched when he moved as if to throw the fork; guffawing at and mocking the man's reflexes. This only created an opening for Lee to, again, take shots at Mike's drug use; claiming his flinch was a reflex, something someone had when their nerve endings weren't fried - like a junkie's. Naturally, it caused an entirely new fight.
One where, during which, Mike brayed and screeched like an animal; and by the end, it was Lee telling Michael to throw the fucking fork so he had an excuse to rock his shit. At this point, you were ready to scream and support the violent display if just to get this over with. Lee snarled and repeated that Mikey was "nothing", and for a moment, you thought all hell was about to break loose.
Yet you wouldn't ever know. "There she is," Cicero clapped, directing the attention towards Donna as she entered at long last. You looked at Carmy and squeezed his hand, leaning in to quickly peck his lips in reassurance. The table clapped for their drunk host, watching her dance to her seat with a full glass of wine and burning cigarette; asking them all what she missed.
"I missed something," she grinned. "Peaches? What'd I miss?"
"Hmm? Oh, uh," you cleared your throat, "we were just discussing the tradition of the Feast of Seven Fishes."
"Boo," she pouted.
"Actually, Ma, Stevie, uh, Stevie was about to say grace," Mikey deflected.
"Not Peach, who studied religion?" Lee mocked.
"Oh, honey, that would be so cool," Donna nodded at you.
"I think I'd like to hear Stevie's prayer," you smiled, "but if he fucks it up, I'll take over."
Donna giggled before sniffling and composing herself while Michelle reassured her husband enough to encourage him to lead the family prayer. You half-listened, distracted by your boyfriend's body language. His hand still held yours, but now, he was sitting up with the other hand covering his mouth. The table was shockingly quiet as Stevie spoke, everyone listening; liking his impromptu speech about love, family, holidays, and bears.
By the end, everyone was softly complimenting the man; his wife hugging him; Mikey even voicing a compliment. However, you were distracted by Donna's reaction as she sniffled her tears, wiped her face, and took deep, dramatic sighs. Cicero laid his hand on her shoulder in comfort, but Donna picked up her cig and muttered, "It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter."
"Oh, Donna," Michelle cooed.
"It doesn't," she whispered.
As the table took turns trying to assure Donna that everything was gorgeous, you noticed the rigid way Carmy sat. "Baby," you whispered, watching him glance at you before leaning back a bit and wrapping his arm around you in an effort to remain close. However, before anyone could do anything, Sugar was asking those two words that triggered her mother:
"You okay?"
"Oh, my God," a few people muttered softly, Carmy and Mikey looking the most distraught by her words. Your lips pursed in nerves, watching Donna like a ticking time bomb; Carmy's hand sweating, leaving you anxious.
"Oh, Natalie," Donna sneered, "Rose Berzatto, do you know how much I fucking hate when you ask me that?"
"Okay," Sugar whispered, bowing her head, averting her eyes.
"Do you know," Donna enunciated, "how much I fucking hate - "
"Let's go upstairs."
" - that you have to do that!"
"Okay," Sug whispered again.
"D-Do you ask the rest of these people if they're okay?"
"No."
"N - " Donna stuttered, revving up. "Do I not look okay, Natalie?"
"Not really," Michelle answered as if without thought she had verbalized it, shaking her head.
You wanted to step in, you did; you own mother was an unmedicated, raging narcissistic, bipolar maniac with a drinking problem. You knew how to handle people like this... But this wasn't your fight, this wasn't your family; you were a mere guest, there to support your boyfriend in any way you could.
Donna glared at Michelle as Sugar offered to go upstairs again. However, the matriarch snapped, "Oh, fuck you, Michelle."
"Hey, hey, hey, hey," Carmy tried to rein his mother in.
"I didn't mean it like - "
"Do I not look okay? Did I not just bust my ass all day for you motherfuckers!?"
"I didn't mean it like that," Michelle rushed, looking down - like the others.
"This!" Donna stood, both hands gesturing to the table, "Is beautiful! Am I okay!?" She whipped around to glare at her daughter. "Am I okay!?" And then... She glared at you, "Well, let's ask, are you okay, Peach? Huh? Are you okay not having family invite you around for the holidays so you come here to fill a void and overcompensate by inserting yourself where you're not even wanted?"
You froze, brows furrowing. What had you done to deserve this unprovoked attack? You were used to it from your own mother, but that was because you were her child and it was an easy attack. This, however, was someone without blood relation laying into you about some deeper-seeded insecurities. Sure, you missed your family, but they were wildly unpredictable, unsupportive, unwelcoming, judgmental, harsh, and constantly at your throat about things that they had no business having an opinion on in the first place. It was better you stayed away - something Carmy still had to reassure you about, so to hear his mother use it against you stung beyond words.
"Hey, hey, woah," Cicero tried, Mikey voicing his own displeasure, but Carmy's was the most prominent.
"Don't bring Peach into this, Ma, please - "
"Are you motherfuckers okay!?" Donna screeched, silencing them all. "Are you okay, Lee?" She mocked. "You didn't do shit! This is fucking gorgeous!" She glared around the table she had gestured at, then, picked up a plate as she roared, "FUCK!" Then she smashed the plate to the floor, "YOU!"
You didn't flinch when you heard the shatter, instead, reaching a hand up to hold Carmy's cheek and keep him turned from the sight. One of his hands held your elbow, a way he communicated to assure you that he liked your touch.
"Fuck you!" Donna directed at the table again. Then, she muttered and pointed at Sugar, "Fuck you." Donna made her exit, sobbing, "Fuck you, Natalie."
The door slammed and you were left in a tense, ear-ringing silence. Slowly, your hand drifted off Carmy's cheek to just sit in silence, both your hands holding his. Nobody was sure what to say, and frankly, nobody wanted to be the first who broke the silence...
Until Lee exhaled deeply and opened his mouth - like he was some prominent member of the family, "Well, I guess we all knew that was gonna happen. So it's out, and, uh, maybe everybody - everybody can relax, huh?"
Your head shook.
"Yeah, that's, uh... That's the worst I've ever seen her," Michelle noted.
You wanted to snap that the mentally ill deserved kindness and respect like every other person. Perhaps they require a different sort of understanding, but you know what? Humans are humans for many reasons, one being the ability to empathize, and it wouldn't kill them all to try and offer Donna more understanding.
Especially in times of high stress!
However, nobody got to comment because Mikey let his temper flare from Lee's words. He picked up Pete's fork and lobbed it at an unsuspecting Uncle Lee; the metal utensil clattering to the floor, making Lee immediately snap, "You fuckin' piece of shit!"
Mikey rose to meet the challenge, purposefully overturning the poker table used as an extension off the "main" table; sending everything shattering to the floor as the Fak Brothers had to hold either enraged man back. It was a frenzy: Mikey and Lee yelling, Brothers holding them back, Cicero, Michelle, and Steve standing to get away from the fight as Cousin Richie directed pregnant Tiff to go with Uncle Jimmy.
Carmy rose, too, but you shot out of your chair, pleading over the noise, "Don't, please, not you."
He sighed at you, remaining put as you watched the escalated fight wage in the dining room. Richie was caught in the middle, trying to retain space between the feuding men; but it was all so very surreal due to Mikey just literally screaming to make himself feel big, bad, and heard. All of a sudden, in the very next room, there came a distant scream before a fucking car came barreling through the living room wall.
You had flinched into Carmy out of shock, and for a moment, nobody even so much as fucking breathed. Mikey was the first, approaching the car and begging for his mother to open the door; asking her what she had done; to please open the fucking door. Sugar remained seated, rooted in her spor; Carmy only moving like a zombie to get a better look - not believing his eyes. Everyone else was in shock and you just felt something click into place in your heart, mind, and gut.
No, you mother had never driven a car through the house, but you weren't a stranger to dramatic displays.
"Okay, okay," you cleared your throat, slipping past Carmy to moved for Mikey. "Hey, hey, hey, hey," you caught hold of him, pulling him off the vehicle, "you need to step back, okay? I'm gonna get it open, I'll get her to a hospital."
"No cops," Richie snapped.
"No cops," you agreed, "hence why I'll take her."
Mikey only shuffled when you stepped up, picked up a brick from the rubble, and with pristine accuracy and strength, shattered the back, drivers side window. Moving swiftly, you reached around to unlock the driver's door - yelping when Donna literally bit you.
"Fuck's sake, stop biting!" You snapped, unlocking the door and wrenching your arm free as you opened the door at the same time. "Donna, hey, hey, hey," you knelt, "you hurt? Hey, Donna, it's Peach, c'mon, I need you to tell me if you're hurt!"
She only cackled manically as she tried to stave you off.
You steeled yourself and lifted up only to keep at a bend so you could scoop Donna out. She started thrashing and you had to set her down, groaning, letting Mikey step in.
"She needs to get checked out right now," you told him.
"C'mon," Jimmy agreed as he stepped up, "I'll drive."
Mikey nodded in agreement and carried his mother out of the house, allowing you to sit in the car and shut it off. When you stood and looked around, there was still a heavy air of shock. Glancing at the damage behind you, you figured maybe you could back the car out so you could start cleaning.
"Richie, why don't you take Tiff home, I'm sure she's exhausted," you recommended softly.
"Nah, I'll help clean," he told you.
"Sure?"
"Yeah," he sniffled.
"Mind helping me get the car, you know, out of the living room?"
"Tell me what to do, baby girl."
Richie drove as you sat passenger, directing him; the two of you working to get the car in reverse and out of the wall. You got out to direct him the rest of the way, and left the car in the garage. When you got back in, you noticed that Sugar and Carmy were both gone, and you went into what your boyfriend called "Mama Bear Mode."
Tiff was allowed to rest upstairs, Michelle and Stevie left, and the Fak's left to go get you tarps and other equipment from their house since all stores were closed. You went outside and fought the cold to grab a wheelbarrow from the community garden shed about half a block away, and bringing it to the hole. Richie grabbed some snow shovels and dust pans and brooms, and together, you got to work on cleaning. It took the better part of a 3ish hours, things going a little faster when the Faks returned; helping pick up, sweep, and dump the material out of the house. They brought ladders and huge tarps, getting up to the wall to start installing the material to prevent the horrendous draft sure to come in.
Several times, the boys told you to sit - but you couldn't. So, you worked. And when it was done, you let the men to sweep the remains as you noticed the dining room still in disarray. Any layers of clothing you wore were shed, hair pulled off your neck and away from your face; preparing for the longest clean-up job you'd know.
You stored all food, organized the dirty dishes with the ones in the kitchen still, then worked on clearing space. The table was freed and you took advantage to lay out some bath towels, then getting to work. The reason you had organized the dishes was because you could wash all plates and set them in the drying rack; when done, you'd use a separate towel to dry the dishes and stack them on the dining room table.
Same for all saucers, utensils, glasses - water cups, wine glasses, and anything someone used for a stronger liquor.
Your feet ached, back protested, ears rang with the aftermath of the night. Richie took Tiff home, the Faks heading out as well; leaving you alone in the Berzatto house with only Carmy and Sugar.
You still worked so they wouldn't have to later.
Dishes stacked on the table, your fingertips pruned from the water, the sink decently filthy from food-waste. You didn't notice the time had passed until a pair of arms came wrapping around your waist - making you jump from being startled. But the tattoos on the hand was enough to assure you the man's identity; lips finding purchase on the slope of your neck and shoulder.
"You don't have to do this," Carmy whispered.
"I'm almost done," you promised, setting another bowl to the rack. "Where you been?"
"With Sugar. She was pretty upset, so, Pete and I were with her."
You nodded, "Good. She okay now?"
"She's asleep."
"You should be, too."
"You know I don't like sleeping without you," he sighed, and you felt his frown. "I'm... I'm really sorry."
"For what?"
"For us coming this year."
"I'm not," you promised. "It's okay, we'll take it in stride."
"It shouldn't be like this."
"No, it shouldn't. You deserve better, Carmy," you whispered, leaning back into his embrace - his arms tightening. "Heard from Mikey?"
"Yeah, he said the ER was still running a few tests," he sighed. "Might be another hour or more."
You nodded, "Gimme another few minutes and I'll be done."
"No, you won't," he chuckled. "Lemme help."
"Wanna dry?"
"Got me doin' dishes again, huh?" He smirked.
You matched it, "Take you back to the good ol' days?"
Carmy nodded, and for a few minutes, you worked in silence. It went smoother with help: you washing, him drying. When all was washed, you drained the sink with the garbage disposal, washed the basin out, and then started cleaning off the counters, stove, microwave, and any other appliance or surface Donna might've splattered on. Carmy noticed your system of dishes and did his best to match it, then mopping up the floor.
When you were both done, it was well past midnight and your adrenaline was waning. You eyed your boyfriend for a long moment, slowly approaching him after drying your hands; mimicking him from earlier and wrapping your arms around his middle. You felt Carmy give a long sigh, dropping one of his hands to hold yours on his stomach. "I love you," you reminded softly.
Carmy turned slowly, facing you with a soft, ginger expression. Both his hands rose to ghost over your cheeks, whispering, "I'm so fucking in-love with you."
Your smile was easy, "Yeah?"
"Mhm."
"Good."
He smirked, placing his forehead to yours. "Things got a little crazy," he whispered, "but I'm really glad you were here with me."
"I promise you, Carmy, I don't want to be anywhere else."
He sighed, pulling away to admire you for a long moment. "Even when Ma attacks you outta nowhere?"
"Even then," you promised softly. "Carmy, you forget, I had a mother very similar. Our relationship won't ever be the same, but the times I was around her, it taught me to walk on eggshells around someone. You're not alone in this and I promise, it doesn't scare me."
"Scares me..."
You nodded, stepping into his embrace, "I know, baby, I know. I'm so sorry. It'll get better, y-you'll find ways to deal with it all. Okay? I'm here with you."
His arms tightened, muttering, "Don't leave me, too."
"Not even if you beat me off with a stick," you teased. "Do you wanna go to bed, Cream?"
"Please," he groaned.
"You go up, I'll be there soon."
"You're not comin' up with me?"
"I think someone should be up when they get home."
Carmy sighed, "Probably..."
"Go to sleep," you encouraged, "I'll be up when they get in. I'll make sure Donna gets to bed, all right?"
"Nah, nah, I'll wait with you. Lemme grab some pillows and shit for us."
You didn't stop him, knowing you couldn't even if you tried. So after doing one last loop around the house, cleaning whatever needed it, you met Carmy in the second sitting room (the one Donna didn't drive into). He had a couple of pillows down and a comforter, changed into a pair of sweatpants and a muscle tank top. "Give me a minute to get changed," you whispered against his lips, hearing him hum in agreement.
You brought an overnight bag in case you were too tired to drive, now grateful for being "over prepared".
When you were matching in loungewear, you crashed on the couch with Carmy under a cushioned blanket. He was laid down the expense of the couch, you nestled between him and the back cushions. "How'd you do it?" He mumbled.
"Hmm?"
"Deal with your ma?"
"Put a lot of distance between us, enforced boundaries even if it made me the bad guy. Started therapy, read a lor of self-help books. All in all, I learned she was abusive in a different way and it affects me and all my relationships."
He sighed, "Think i gotta do the same."
"What's that?"
"Create distance... Think New York's far enough?"
"It'll have to be," you mused, snuggling close as Carmy picked up with phone. He mindlessly scrolled through his social media, you watching; the exhaustion catching up to you both, making you start to doze, but abruptly woke up when the front door burst open.
"I got her," Mikey waved you both off as you tried to yank off the tangle of blanket, assisting his drugged-up mother to her room after kicking the door shut.
When he returned, you and Carmy were sat up in interest. He sighed and tapped a cigarette from the carton, telling you both, "She's okay, minor concussion and shit... Nothing we can't handle, right? I'll be back." He excused himself out the front door.
You spared Carmy a look, frowning when those wide, baby blues locked with yours. "She's okay," you reminded softly, "and I'm here with you." You saw the fear flash in his eyes. "Carmy, you're not like anyone in your family - you're not like anyone I've ever known. You won't end up like them, you're not gonna slip off the deep end 'cause of their curse. It's sink or swim, and fuck's sake, I've got an extra life preserver, okay?"
He smirked, "What would I do without you or your analogies?"
"Get really boring advice," you teased, letting him kiss you. When you pulled back, you whispered, "She won't ruin you. I won't let anything tear you down."
He paused for a long while, nodding, "Think we should go to New York, then."
"I think so, too. You can't linger here, Carmy, or else you're going down with them all and I can't do anything to help. If we stay here, Cream, I'm afraid for what it'll do to us, and if you stay with your family, there's no telling what they'll do or make you feel." You told him softly, "Don't let them step in the way of what you want, Carmy. Don't let them dictate your life anymore than they do. You deserve a life, you deserve to live away from this toxic bullshit - to truly find and establish yourself without their extra dead weight."
He nodded sadly, wiping a hand down his face.
His eyes bulged naturally, and now, you could see clearly the red tinge from repressed tears and the swollen, blotchy skin from him rubbing so frequently.
"Carmy?" You waited until his eyes met yours. "Just because they're your family doesn't mean you're gonna end up like them. You're aware of the stress, turmoil, and abuse that's generated, and with this knowledge comes the ability to break cycles. Baby," you whispered, resting your foreheads together, "you are not the same, you can always choose to do better... To be better... To recognize slippery slopes and pull yourself back. They're your blood, yes, but that doesn't automatically mean you guys are the same now - or that you'll become like them in the future. You're different, Carmy... You're so different, you're going to do amazing things - they'll all see. And one day, I'll tell you, 'Told you so,' but it can all start today, if you want."
"You're right," he agreed, sighing deeply as he pulled away from you. "I do want that - I want us to get away and go live. We'll go..." He nodded in assurance, sniffling before pecking your forehead, "We'll go to New York and get the fuck away from this bullshit. It's not healthy, can't sustain ourselves here."
"For the time being," you corrected, "because never say never when thinking of returning home. But we've still got a lot of life to live before we settle down, right?"
"Right," he whispered, staring at you like you hung the moon and stars. "What would I do without you, Peach?"
"I imagine you'd be bored as hell," you teased, pecking his lips.
When Mikey returned, he found Carmy sprawled out on the couch with his arms tightly caging you to his chest; both looking utterly exhausted from the hectic holiday. He almost felt guilt for the rush to his blood from the drugs he used outside, knowing neither of you would be proud of him, and seeing you both look so at-peace solidified in his mind that he wouldn't burden either of you with his woes. So he vacated the front lobby just as your head lifted in confusion - feeling as if you had been watched and waking up.
However, when your burning-for-sleep eyes didn't see anyone, you settled back against Carmy.
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rules and requesting masterlist
The Bear masterlist
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olderthannetfic · 5 months
Note
As someone who accidentally achieved BNF status in two separate fandoms, I'll let you in on the secret cheat code (but beware being a bnf comes with a price and you won't know what it is until it's much too late)
It's commenting. And I don't just mean on the juggernaut fics or ships. Both times I came into a fandom in the first two years of their run. There were already a decent number of fics, lots of kudos (or favorites on ffn) but rare comments. Even the most popular fics, the ones ending up on rec lists, would have maybe 2-3 comments total.
I came from a fandom with a culture of commenting and I brought it with me. If I read a fic, it got a comment. Before anyone starts whinging nonsense about diluting the value of a comment, there is almost always something positive that you can find to comment on. I think back to my earliest writings and the way the elders and bnfs of my fandom encouraged my writing when I know from looking back on it, it wasn't great. But they found the seedlings of my strengths and they nurtured them through commenting. Encouraged the things that worked well in my stories, and yet somehow, rarely if ever offered concrite.
Everything I read gets a comment.
At the very least, the idea was creative enough for me to click into the story. Often there was a line or even a word choice that stuck with me and I would comment on. (and if six different people comment on how they liked "this bit" but no one comments on "that part" the authors are going to start realizing what worked and what didn't without anyone getting their feelings hurt)
After a few weeks, I was known for my comments. I had people replying to my comments about how excited they were: "yes! it's you! I got one!". And when I published my first work in the fandom, it seemed like everyone who had ever received a comment from me showed up to leave one for me.
I didn't set out to become a BNF. That was an unfortunate side effect and one I said I wouldn't repeat a few years later in my new fandom. (I did)
Turns out the fastest way to make friends is to hype their work. Reblog their work on tumblr and give a little non-spoilery shout out. Reply to reblogs and start conversations in the posts or in the tags.
A fandom lives and dies not only by the creative works made by the fans, but also by the response to that work.
--
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Text
Shoto Discovers He Has A Daddy Kink | Shoto x Reader
Fandom: My Hero Academia
Ship: Pro Hero Shoto Torodoki x Reader 💋
Summary: Shoto is your Pro-Hero boyfriend coming home late from patrol. He finds you up to no good 😉 and decides to join you. In the heat of the moment, you call him "Daddy" and he goes absolutely feral. All characters are consenting adults in their late twenties. A hot, unedited one shot.
Genre: Smut, Romance, S*xual Tension
CW: MDNI!, A18+, Daddy Kink, Rough Sex, Femme Reader, AFAB Reader, Unprotected Sex
💕Link to My Master List 💕
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Neither of you see it coming when you say it for the first time. You didn’t plan on saying it, and there’s no way in hell that you could have anticipated Shoto’s reaction to the word.
It’s a Thursday night and Shoto got back later than expected from patrol.  It’s been a long week and you could really use a goddamn fucking orgasm to put you to sleep, so when it becomes clear your boyfriend isn’t going to be home on time, you start touching yourself in bed. You’re so in the zone you don’t hear the door open and shut when he arrives home, exhausted and sweaty from a long night out with his sidekicks.
He leaves his dirty hero costume at the door and stumbles into the bedroom in his underwear – tight black boxers that are a size too small. Shoto never learned how to shop for himself, and you’ve been slowly helping him build a wardrobe that compliments him.
He arrives in the doorway of your shared bedroom and sees you face down in his pillow, grinding into your fingers as you slowly pleasure yourself over your soft pajamas. His impassive expression quirks into a smile as he watches you squirm and shift your hips to get a better angle. He lets himself enjoy the view for a few moments, shedding his boxers as he feels his cock start to stiffen. He reaches down to stroke at himself, reveling in the way he gets turned on just looking at you. You’ve been together for 2 years and he still can get off to just the thought of you. He works at his dick for a few minutes, getting himself nice and hard as you continue to obliviously masturbate on the bed.
Finally, he can’t take it anymore. He needs to feel you. He approaches the bed quietly, then says in his authoritative Pro Hero voice “Stop what you’re doing, and stay where you are.”
You freeze, momentarily scared shitless. Your ass is in the air and your face doesn’t leave the pillow as you call out: “Shoto? You’re home?”
“I just got off patrol. Looks like someone couldn’t stand waiting for me.” He says softly, climbing on the bed and positioning himself behind you. “Looks like you got yourself all pretty and ready for my cock.” He reaches up and pulls your sweatpants down, revealing your ass. He slips the fabric down a few more inches until you feel the cool air conditioning hit your pussy. You shiver and Shoto smiles as he reaches down to caress your pussy with calloused, capable fingers.
You hiss in satisfaction when he slips a finger inside you, rocking it in an attempt to hit your G spot. The angle is no good, and you push backwards into him, craving more attention. You assume that he’ll finger you and then use his mouth like he usually does – so you’re surprised when he quickly removes his finger and shifts to replace it with his thick cock. His hard member slides easily inside of you, but you still cry out at the unexpected intrusion.
“Did you miss me, sweetheart?” He asks breathlessly as he begins to move, thrusting into you at an even pace. You groan in reply, happy to be full of his rock hard cock. He slides in and out of you leisurely, enjoying the way your pussy wraps around him so invitingly. “Fuck. I didn’t realize how badly I needed this.” He grabs your hips for leverage, slowly picking up the pace. You moan as he hits your core just right.
“I feel bad that you had to wait so long.” He says apologetically. “You know I’ll always take care of my sweet girl.” He thrusts a bit harder and you whimper as you build towards your orgasm, molten lava pooling in your core. “Is this what you wanted baby?”
His cock is stretching you out so good, treating you so well. You can’t even think straight. The words tumble from your lips before you have time to wrap your brain around them.
“Yes, daddy.”
Shoto’s hips stutter to a stop and you wine at the loss of action.
“What did you just call me?” He says, sounding confused. You double down, hoping to spur him to return to thrusting. You need him so badly, you’ll do anything to get him moving again.
“Daddy.”
“Fuck.” Some kind of switch slips in Shoto’s brain and he beings pounding into you, frenzied. His grip on your hips tightens and is almost bruising. He guides your bodies together again and again, chasing his high. You feel his hard cock slide in as deep as he can manage, kissing your cervix with a prevision that only a Pro Hero can manage.
“Oh, Shoto yes!” Is all you can manage to say as he pounds you into the mattress doggy style, all of his energy concentrated on absolutely railing your pussy.
You’re so close to cumming, your orgasm building and tantalizing you – just a few strokes of Shoto’s dick away. Your eyes slip closed as you enjoy the insane motion of Shoto’s hips. You’re absolutely cock drunk and drooling into the pillow.
“Shoto, I’m gonna - ” But just as your pleasure starts to crest, he pulls out of you and flips you onto your back. “Wha -?” He raises your hips and tosses your legs over his shoulders. His heterochromiatic eyes are blazing as he looks down at you, his bangs plastered to his forehead with sweat. He guides his cock back towards your entrance, rubbing his head against your clit for good measure before sliding back inside you. This new angle is absolutely heavenly – typically, Shoto likes to fuck slow and sweet. This aggression is a real treat. He does all the work, slowly fucking into you until he picks back up to his previous unbelievable pace. His pro hero body has so much stamina, you know that he can keep this up all night if need be. Your pussy flutters with the notion, your breath coming out in hot pants.
Shoto locks eyes with you and growls out “Say it again.”
Your eye lids are drooping as you focus on the smooth slide of his cock in and out of you. “Say what?” You moan out, enjoying the way your legs bounce on his muscular shoulders as he pistons into you. He slides a hand down from your hips and delivers a swift smack to your ass. Your eyes widen at the contact.
“Say. It. Again.” Your brain scrambles and searches for the words he wants to hear. With a start you put the pieces together.
“Fuck me harder – daddy.”
Shoto groans and shifts forward to rest his face in the crook of your neck, the change in position nearly bending you in two. You say a silent prayer to your yoga instructor and breathe into the new position. You cry out in pleasure as Shoto’s cock hits your G spot with shocking precision in the new angle. Your pussy squeezes around him and he’s in absolute heaven as he kisses desperately at your neck. He reaches down to deliver another sharp smack to your ass cheek and the mixture of pain and pleasure pushes you over the edge.
“Shoto, baby, I’m cumming. I-I’m cumming. Oh my God.” You feel the orgasm hit you in waves, your body shaking as you cum around your boyfriend’s perfect cock. The shockwaves of muscle spasms in your pussy pushes Shoto over the edge, too. You feel his cock twitch deep inside you before he cums, shooting ropes of ejaculate into your sweet core. As you ride out your orgasm, your pussy milks Shoto for all he’s worth and he groans out your name, unbelieving that sex can feel this good, this insane. He thrusts into you until your both over stimulated, groaning from the contact.
When you’re done, he pulls himself up a bit so that you’re in a more comfortable, less-foldy position, but he stays inside you for a few minutes as you both catch your breath. Beads of sweat slide down your joined bodies like raindrops, and you long for both sleep and a shower. You’re not sure if you’ll manage the latter.
Finally, breathing heavily, Shoto pulls out of you. He watches as his cum drips down your sticky thighs and pools on the duvet. He reaches out a finger to trace along the slit of your pussy, dipping into your sticky center in wonder. You shiver, over stimulated, and swat his hand away from your still-pulsing core. You’re on birth control, of course – but you and Shoto are usually so careful to use condoms. Shoto’s complicated history with his family makes him wary of fatherhood, and you both usually take every precaution possible when it comes to sex.
“I…I don’t know what came over me.” He says, shaking his head as he reaches to help you sit up. He uses a thumb to smooth sweat off your brow and tuck your hair behind your ears. “Was that too much, love? I’m so sorry if I took things too far.”
You shake your head, breathless. “Shoto that was…that was incredible.” You grin stupidly up at him, head foggy from your orgasm. “…I guess you have a daddy kink?”
He gives you a funny look. “I’m going to need to talk about this in therapy. This is clearly me dealing with my fucked up father issues in a new weird way.”
“…or….” You say optimistically, sensing that Shoto is about to shut down the way he does when his family comes up in conversation. “Orrrr you have a fun new kink for us to explore! Don’t overthink it, babe. At least not tonight. You must be exhausted.” You reach out and take one of his hands in yours, massaging up his wrist where you know he often aches from using his ice quirk. You pull him into a chaste kiss. He leans into the touch, grateful.
“There will be plenty of time for processing. But for now, let’s cleanup and go to bed.” You whisper, your foreheads touching.
“You’re right.” He says, scooting off the bed and getting to his feet. “What do you want – a washcloth and a water bottle?”
“Please.” You say, laying back on the pillow and stretching out your legs. Shoto comes back a minute later with both items.
“There is one thing I definitely want to do again.” Shoto says, his face burning a bit red as he watches you wipe yourself down with the cloth.
“What’s that sweetheart?” You ask him, curious.
“Can I spank you more often?” He sheepishly grins, his eyes darting down to take in the bright red spot he’s left on your ass cheek.
“Anytime, Shoto.” You laugh as you let him pull you to your feet and towards the bathroom for a shower. It’s late, and there’s plenty of time to discuss things in the morning over coffee and pancakes. All is well.
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starlightdreaming · 6 months
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Lucifer Morningstar x Reader! Ch. 3!
Fandom: Hazbin Hotel!
Content Warning: more… angst. with some comfort..(?) idk starve lol. blood and vulgar words. SUPER LONG CHAPTER TOO WOO! (nonproof read too)
Synopsis: after going through severe depression, you mentally and physically shut down.
Further note: THANK YOU FOR THE PEOPLE WHO ARE SUPPORTING MY SERIES (Lululuna) IT MAKES ME SO FUCKIGN HAPPY AAHAHAHHDVENE (this is also my favorite chapter I’ve been waiting to write HEHEHHE) ENJOY READING AS IVE ENJOYED WRITING IT - ✨Lolo💫
Chapters!: Chapter 1 ✧ Chapter 2 ✧ Chapter 3 (you are here) •<•)b ✧ Chapter 4 ✧ Chapter 5
THIS CHAPTERS SONG IS uhhHhahwueh
(optional but recommended!)
。・:*:・゚Lululuna・゚:。*:・。
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After sending Lucifer away, you were silent during the whole aftermath ordeal.
You stared at the ground for a long while, sitting in the middle of the court room, ignoring and blocking everyone that was talking or looking at you. In a room so loud, in your mind, it was deathly silent.
Sera went to you, tapping your shoulder softly, “come along now, Y/n,” She says, softly, “Let’s get you home, alright?” She offers, standing up, waiting for you to collect yourself and get up as well.
the carpet was drenched with a puddle of tears, you felt like a part of you was gone forever… and you weren’t ever going to get it back. You dry your tears, using your sleeves to wipe them off your face before getting up and taking Sera’s hand into your own, she held your hand softly, teleporting you to the front of your home.
“Take all the time you need.” Sera says, understanding how much pain you were going through, you have told her everything after all in your years of working with her after you and Lucifer fell apart. She teleported away as you stood at your front door for a moment, staring at the door before unlocking it and pushing it open with no effort at all, your home was dark from how late it was,
The sun was gone, put away to rest, and the moon was present, subtle and set.
You walked into your home, stars barely dimming any light in the dark home, you closed your door behind you, leaning on it with a sigh, your exhausted eyes felt puffy from all the tears you had shed after seeing Lucifer for the last time, the way he looked at you as he fell, bore into your mind, it’s been haunting you since.
‘maybe it was a mistake?’ you thought as you conversed in your head for the nth time that day, your mind was haunting you endlessly with years of torment after Lucifer left you behind, your heart and mind were always arguing with one another, your heart always begged to talk things out even if the pain was unbearable but your mind was more of in control with your body, trying to keep your heart safe, trying to keep you safe from any more suffering. you just didn’t know what to do.
Tears fell from your eyes again that night, wishing to be held and comforted by someone who would understand the same pains as you, and that someone was no one.
Down at your door you sat, hugging your knees as you cried out your pain, the exact same spot when you cried yourself to sleep on your last birthday, the last birthday you shared with Lucifer. It wasn’t a good memory to remember but… it was a memory that was telling you, ‘here we are, once again.’ and that was enough to make you cry harder as you hugged yourself with the silence screams that no one could ever see or hear…once.. again.
✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧
Day in, day out.
As time passed, you were slowly recovering from the losses of your childhood friend.
Day in, day out.
As time passed, you focused on your work behind the scenes, Emily bringing joy to those around Halo city, welcoming winners and Heaven born angels all around. With more Earth born angels arriving in Heaven, the population of the people grew, meaning more expansions of the city and more expansions of the city, meant you had to work much, much longer.
Day in, day out.
You were falling behind on your creations, being the only ‘angel’ that could make stars, Sera would often have to come and talk to you and your issues of the star makings. You and Sera both tried to get other angels to make the same stars as you, sentient and beautiful, but it was only ever botched and dull when anyone else tried to make them, leaving you at a loss. You often had to stay up in late night hours, until the sun came back up, barely ever giving you the chance to go back home and rest. After one problem, another came along, you began to feel confined behind those four walls.
Day in, day out.
Your life was just stuck in the same room, rarely ever getting out, star after star, it began to be repetitive and passionless, everything was the same.
Day in, day out.
Sera would often visit you, telling you to keep making an nth amount of stars today or tomorrow, sooner or later, she would just leave notes and piles of paperwork her employers would send to you, leaving you in the dust, life became frail and dulling, you were just a machine at that point, neglected and forgotten as you kept making sentient stars constantly.
Day in, day out.
Nothing’s new. Days, weeks, months, years, nothing was changing as you drowned more in more into a bleak and miserable office, you felt more and more empty, you would wake up and sleep, you lost track of time at this point, your office was just a mess of star dust and stars, the windows were black from the dust staining the windows making them unobtrusive, you sat on the floor in the center, feeling stuck and hopeless. Surrounded by the only thing that brought you comfort, now becoming the only thing you were ever useful for.
Day in, day out.
How long has passed? You didn’t care anymore. All you wanted was to escape and be free from this basked room of misery and self loathing, your stars became gloopy and sticky, they were melting in this room like you were.
Day in, day out.
You couldn’t bare another minute in the same room, your arms were stained black from stars that melted on you from time to time, the stars were barely ever successfully made anymore, you just couldn’t continue anymore.
Day in, day out.
Long and forgotten you were, nothing new and changing, just you in a black room, full of dust and gloopy stars. You laid there meaninglessly, your eyes lifeless and you completely numb, tired and exhausted.
Day in, day out.
Nothing’s new, nothing’s new, nothing’s new, nothing’s new, nothing’s new, nothing’s new, nothing’s new, nothing’s new, nothing’s new, nothing’s new, nothing’s new, nothing’s new, nothing’s new, nothing’s new.
Day in, day out.
After days of laying there, eating your own stars as survival, refusing to allow anyone into your room, Sera finally showed up for once after eons or centuries? you don’t even know anymore. She wasn’t as loving or caring as she used to be, it was to be expected since you lost sight of you as a sister and more of a machine. When she ordered you to get up and do something, you refused to respond as you continued to lay there, seeing as doing anything anymore was futile.
She commanded you again and she received no result, When she picked you up from the ground, she saw how lifeless you really were, she teleported you to a hospital, getting you attention from the doctors as quick as possible, they checked you, you were alive, obviously, but mentally, you died out long ago.
✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧
✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧•✧
The nurses cleaned and fed you, you were barely responsive but it was progress to them if you ever reacted.
You laid in that hospital bed, day in, day out.
One day, Emily came to visit you, you didn’t bother until she used her powers on you. As the joy bringer of the people, she managed to give you a glimpse of happiness again and that was enough to bring color back into your eyes and look at her.
A nurse watching, left to contact a doctor. Emily smiled at you as she channeled her energy to you, hugging you and asking you questions to see if you would respond, it took awhile but you managed to wry a smile and tell her, “hi..” a croak in your voice from how raspy your throat felt, she tilted her head with a comforting smile, “hi,” she said, “how are you feeling?” she asks genuinely, her hand over your yours as she channeled more of her angelic energy, soothing you physically and mentally, “I’m alright.” you responded with a croaky voice, “yeah?” she asks, “yeah.” you respond.
A doctor showed up to give you a thorough check up, the nurse following and thanking Emily as she lightly laughed off the nurses praises. Your eyes were still dull but they had color now, the bags under your eyes were visible from the years lack of resting, black circles covered your eyes but seeing you be able to smile was just enough for the doctor to say you were responsive now. The doctor and nurse left the room to get you your meal or checking on other patients, leaving you and Emily once again.
Emily would talk to you, making small conversations, tell you about her day and sharing her energy with you again to make you more at ease, she even told you how Sera refused to let her see you cause you were always too busy for visitors, that was true but it was also the reason you were here in the first place. When visiting time was over she promised to come back to visit you tomorrow, you smiled at that, waving bye as she left.
Now it was you, yourself, and the white room and for once, you decided to stand up and look outside the window, the stars shined and dimmed brightly that night, the stars were the only thing making your eyes shine that night, their light reflecting off your eyes irises.
with the day done and in, you rested peacefully in that hospital bed, letting the day out.
Emily visited everyday to see you, still seeing you as a sister and telling you her life stories, she even managed to make you laugh at one point, it was a big laugh but it was genuine and thats what matters to her. At one point, you managed to ramble off about stars and the ideas you had for them, you got to show her how you made them, you tried to show her as well when she requested to guide her to make one, obviously it didn’t work but she smiled whenever she got to be given the chance to, she gave you the botched star that was lavender blue, it was small with imperfections but for the first time in the longest time, someone had given you something and you never were letting it go.
You used a little bit of your stardust to make it stick in your hair, making sure it stays there, no matter what. Emily smiled when she saw it in your hair, seeing how much it matters to you. You and Emily both spent the entire day talking and creating, sharing and conversing, it was so comforting and warm, her light was guiding you out of that dark abyss you had made for yourself and eventually- you were out the hospital.
You went back to that same office room but this time, you cleaned it, you made more stars, the neglected ones being perfected and revived, sentient and chiming. With your office cleaned you decided to get a meeting with Sera personally. It took a few days but it was accepted and eventually you were in her office, she looked at you authoritatively, not seeing you as she had once, who knows long ago.
“What is it, Y/n?” She says, sitting at her desk as you walked up to her desk and took a seat in the chair at the opposite end. “I quit.” You spoke, unhesitant, “What?” She says, rather surprised, “I quit,” you smiled, crossing your arms, “at making stars for you and the people.” you finished, watching her reaction change, “and what makes you think you can?” She says with a slightly aggressive tone, glaring at you slightly, “I am my own person, I want a new job,” You say, sitting back in your chair, “then- will I make more stars for you.” You say, your her fingers intertwined and resting on your lap, legs crossed.
She stood up, her figure towering over you from over the table, “You refused to continue your work, end up in a hospital for who knows what and now you’re asking for a new job?” She asked, feeling rather insulted like you can laze around and do whatever you want, “Yes, that’s exactly what.” You smiled, unbothered, Emily made you feel this way, like a new person, she was therapy itself in a way.
“And you think you can handle a different job? even when you couldn’t even handle your own?” She glares, you leaned forward into your chair, “got bored with the stars thing, without a doubt I can do something else.” You say looking at her smugly, making her harden her glare at you. maybe Emily gave you too much of her energy.
“Fine then.” She says, turning around, looking away from you and out the window, she snapped her fingers and a man appeared next to you, “Woah- wait, what the fuck?” He says, looking around the room, looking at Sera, then at you, “You will be working with Adam from now on,” She says, turning back to you, you and Adam staring at each other awkwardly, before he began to wiggle his eyebrows at you with a flirty smirk, “Adam, you are to train and teach Y/n, show and tell her what she will be doing.” Sera orders, you had your knees up in the chair leaning away from Adam, due to him gawking at you before he looked away to Sera, “Wait now? Don’t you think it’s too soon for any recruits?” He questions, pointing a thumb at you.
“She wanted a new job since she failed to do her own,” Sera explains to Adam as you rolled your eyes from her statement, “since she says she can handle a new one, I’m giving her this one.” Sera finishes, sitting down back in her chair, “But we were just about to start? she wont even have time to prepare?” Adam responds, scratching his horn confused from this sudden meeting, “Then I suggest you get started,” Sera commands, going back to skimming through papers, “Dismissed.” She says, as you and Adam turn to each other confused.
You both left together, him leading and you following silently and awkwardly, your confidence long and left you after Adam appeared. “So what’s your name again? Already forgot.” He says looking at you, bending down slightly for you to meet face to face, you backed away from his action, “err, Y/n.” you respond, looking away for a moment before looking back at him, “Well nice to meet you, names Adam, first man, best man.” He smiles, reaching his hand out for you to take, you hesitated before shaking his hand, wrying a smile, “pleasure.” You speak, only giving him that response.
You both exited the building before flying, going to who knows where, “soo, before we get started, should probably ask what you do before you jump in the big ordeal, what do you do and how can you benefit us?” He asks, you flying alongside him, “I can do stellar manipulation, cosmic manipulation and stellar healing but im terrible at it,” You rambled, pointing a finger up after listing off your abilities, “What I can do best is making sentient stars do my bidding, like the stars that are all over Halo city? I made those.” You smiled, “Woah! wait, you made all those things come alive? that’s fucking sick!” He says complimenting you, “So you must be a big deal huh?” He smirks, “Ehh, I guess?” You shrug slightly with a smile.
“Ohoh, if you can control those stars, then you’re perfect for this job.” He smirks as he lands, you landed behind him as you looked around at everyone, them all wearing the same suits, you were confused now, just what even is this job?
“Sir? where did you go?” a female voice asked, “Sera teleported me outta nowhere for me to bring someone along with us,” he explains pointing to you, you walk up to her, “greetings, I’m Y/n.” you smile and waved, “Lute, Adam’s Lieutenant.” She says as she straightens her posture, giving you a short and slim response. “Attention ladies! we have a sudden and new guest! this is uhh,” he pauses before leaning toward you, “fucks your name again?” he asks as you deadpanned, how does someone forget a name so fast? “Y/n.” You respond, “Y/n!” He says, “Seraphim of the stars or something.” He says, trying to make you sound like big talk, “She will be joining us today, she isn’t prepared but thats okay, she will just be an audience for today at most, so everyone prepare yourselves,” Adam says as they pull out spears, making your confusion more piqued, “and let’s this fucking show on a roll!” he shouts, a portal opening, him flying off with his lieutenant.
You were caught off guard from them suddenly flying off, you followed, a little behind but you caught up quickly to Adam, (being a seraphim and all) staying behind him and Lute, when you went through the portal, you paused in the air, confused on where in the world were you? everything was red, the sky, the ground, it wasn’t long before you started hearing screaming in the distance, the angel army was flying and attacking, monster like creatures, “What the fuck is this?” You say in shock, “Oh shit, you curse too? fucking sweet!” Adam says, showing up next to you, watching the angels slaughter the creatures, “where am I?!” You ask with a shaky voice, concern and worry filling your voice, “You’re in hell, bitch!” He says, summoning an angelic guitar made of pure gold, strumming it.
“WHAT?” You say absolutely baffled from his answer, you quickly turned to look down at the destroyed city, those little things running around and screaming, pleading for their lives as they get brutally slaughtered, “why are we killing them?! they did nothing!” You say in a terrified voice, looking back at Adam, “calm down bitch, fuck,“ He says, making you glare at him instantly, “they’re sinners! We give them divine judgment!” He smirks, flying down and killing a sinner without hesitation, “Stop it!” You tell at him, your angelic form appearing from how terrified you were to discover that your divine people were slaughtering innocent souls that have done nothing but accept their damnation, “No, you stop it!” He says, flying back up to you, making you fly back when he got too close, “Sera ordered you to follow my lead, you are under my command!” He yells back, an explosion happening behind him, a city building tumbling, you stared in guilt, you didn’t even do anything to them and yet all you could feel was pure sympathy and sorrow for those souls who didn’t deserve the judgment they were receiving.
“Now, you’re going down there and helping us kill these fuckers or you can sit and watch.” Adam orders, you didn’t have any words to respond with as you looked down at the sinners, there was a young lady who was carrying a child away from the chaos, you couldn’t help but watch, you were too stunned to process anything, Adam flew off mumbling something under his breath, definitely cursing at you but you didn’t even care at that moment.
An angel chasing quickly behind the two sinners, the angels spear charging towards the two, before you can even give a second thought, you summoned a star quickly, tossing it at the angel, hitting them down before they could hurt the two, you gasped, surprised from your own actions, you hurt an angel, the angels you’re supposed to care for and protect! you watched the angel shrug it off like nothing before flying away to a different direction, giving the sinners the chance to run, why was Heaving allowing slaughter? doesn’t this go against the very foundations of Heaven? why didn’t you know about this was ever happening? and how long has it been happening? Sera assigned you here, so it’s obvious she knows! why would she allow this- wait.. does the father of Heaven know?
You quickly flew down to the city to find Adam, to find answers, but all you saw was bloodshed and destruction, spears left behind and angels flying around like they were proud of themselves, it gave you a gut wrenching feeling, “please spare me! don’t kill me!” A voice called out, you turned to see a sinner running for their life, your eyes widen when you see an angel walking up to the sinner, a manic laugh following behind them, you ran toward the sinner and the angel, you stood between them both, stopping the angel in her tracks, “I command you to stop!” you say aggressively.
The angel taken back by your sudden actions and outburst, “What are you doing? move it.” the angel said, trying to shove you away but you pushed back and it made the angel push you completely to the ground, moved to the side, you didn’t have any attributes to physical fighting and it showed, you fell to the ground, looking up quickly to see the angel about to attack, without a second thought, you summons another star, a rather big one and made it push her aggressively, you made the star make the angel collide with a building, knocking the angel out, you gasped, not meaning to go that far but you turned to the sinner and ran to their aid, “are you okay??” you ask the terrified man before you, he looked at you in awe, you angelic features making the man stunned and mesmerized, “yes… thank yo- gh-“ the man choked, a spear through his throat, his blood splattered onto your clothes, hands and face, you closed your eyes for a moment from the sudden liquid of blood covering your face.
You opened your eyes and your eyes widened when you saw Adam and Lute in front of you, the sinner headless and long gone of life, “Fuck do you think you’re doing?” Adam said, yelling at you, you looked down and stared at the red, staining your hands, your breath hitched, you were trying to save a soul and it died immediately in front of you, before your very eyes, from feeling sympathy and sorrow, you clutched your hands tightly, a fit of rage riling up inside you, “ADAM! THIS STOPS NOW!” You shout, your angelic appearance in full as you flew into the air, cosmic dust following your form, your wings emitted cosmic dust, along with your hands, star dust following suit.
You glared at Adam, Lute glaring back at you, sensing you were about to become a threat, she immediately charged at you before swinging at you, you immediately summoned a star as a shield, side eyeing her, you made the star push her down, away from you, another star attacking her swiftly and powerfully, knocking her out too, Adam watched it happen so quickly, “What the fuck was that? what did you do to Lute?!” He says, going after you next, he was much slower but he managed to fight off your stars as he kept swinging at you, you being the faster flying, dodged easily, they may have been more experienced than you but they were so damn sloppy with their attacks. not to mention as a seraphim, you are much more stronger.
You flew higher into the air, a radiant aura forming around you, “This massacre ends now, Adam.” you say in a monotone voice, focusing on your power as you began to summon multiple stars, making all sentient at once, you were using a lot of stamina for this but you were willing to do this if it meant stopping this meaningless wrath of judgment.
You had made stars fall, multiple stars stuck onto Adam as he tried to fight them off but you made the goopy ones specifically for him, eventually he was invulnerable to move, the stars sticky and drippy, making it hard for him to struggle, you glared at Adam silently as he began to curse you out, you made a big star float flatly, carrying Lute back into the portal along with Adam as the stars took his guitar and carried it with him separately, your other stars retrieved the other angels in this army, dragging them all back forcefully to the portal, you made the other spare stars fly up to the skies and make it rain stardust in the skies, the dust was full of healing properties, making sure the sinners that survived could heal physical injuries, you hoped it was enough for them since you weren’t very experienced with the healing attributes you had, feeling your stamina drained, you flew back to the portal, closing it as you flew to the grounds of Heavens cloud, panting heavily, you had never used that much of your abilities like that before, all at once in fact.
You looked up to see Adam pissed off at, struggling to break free from goopy stars you still had on him, you laughed lightly at this, that shits kinda funny.
You splat onto the cloud, face first, regaining your stamina for a bit, meanwhile the whole army Adam had was conversing in confusing, they tried to help Adam get out of the goop but that only made the. stuck with him, you turned to lay on your back, wings following and looked up to the sky, for once, you felt rather proud of yourself for being able to full something like that but now it was the worse part to come, after recollecting your energy, you got up and flew off, dragging Adam with you, the stars of goop following as he muffled our screams.
When you returned to Sera’s office, you busted down the door with any respect, “Sera!” you shouted angrily, “We need to take about this job offer.” you grumbled, slamming your hands down her desk, the goop of stars putting Adam down as he deadpanned at you and Sera. Sera’s eyes widened from your sudden outburst and the blood covering your body, “I assume you couldn’t handle it?” Sera asked, after recollecting herself, “Handle it? I more than handled it, I dragged a whole fucking army back into Heaven!” You screamed, Sera glared as she stood up, “That was not your job, your job was to follow Adams orders!” she spoke back sternly, “This job and his orders are hypocritical to what we believe in! this is conflicting to the foundation of Heaven!” You argued back as Adam watched, Sera stared at you before sighing, “Can we speak alone about this?” she requests, eyeing Adam, signaling you to let him leave, “fine.” you scowl at her in detestation, you snap your fingers and the goop evaporated, also summoning his guitar to give back to him, “Christ, you’re a crazy bitch, you know that?” He says insultingly, he spoke as soon he got his guitar but you ignored him as the ordered the with a swift of your finger, the stars dragged him out the room and shut the door, all while you stared at Sera with displeasure.
“Why would you let winners and heaven born give divine judgment to sinners? What was your plan? What the fuck even is this job??” You began, hostility filling your voice. “The sinners were uprising, they were getting more and more bigger in population!” Sera responds, beginning her explanation, “and?” you asked unconvinced, “They were getting stronger, of they become to powerful, they may even reach the Heavens! they would take over and spread evil all over our realm.” She continues as you scoff, “and why would you think that? you doubting your fathers abilities to keep that under control?” you point out as she looks away, making you ponder, “does he even know you’re allowing your people to slaughter souls?” You ask.
She glared at you as she sat up in her seat, “He doesn’t and won’t know.” she says calmly and authoritatively, “seriously?! you’re doing this behind his back?!” You say, raising your voice in shock and anger, “unbelievable!” You say as you step beck from her desk, turning to leave her office, “and where do you think you’re going?” She asks, “where am I going? i’m going to tell all of Heaven on what the fuck you’re doing thats what!” you shout back, opening the door to leave but it shits immediately, Sera now in front of you, “you’re not going anywhere.” she says darkly, her figure towering over you as eyes appeared over her body, her angelic form showing.
You stepped back, looking at her staring daggers at her as she stepped closer to you, “and what makes you think I can’t?” you taunt, as she stood tall in front of you, “you will be silenced.” She says as pulls out an angelic spear of her own, knowing that she was threatening your life now, “What will Emily think when she finds you slaughtered her own sister?” You ask, putting up a facade of bravery, trying not show that she was getting to you, “Emily is not your sister.” Sera says aggressively and threateningly with pure hostility in her voice, seeing as that got to her it made you smug, “We’ll see when she finds out about how you allow her people kill the innocent.” You smirk with a shit-eating grin, knowing that no matter what she did, it wouldn’t turn out well for her.
It in-fact: did not turn out well for you, “We’ll see, when you’re gone for good.” She says as she swiftly moved you too quickly for you to react, her angelic spear carving your back, a mass amount of pain following as you screamed, you fell forward as she pushed you down as she stabbed her spear through her wing, making you wince in pain, adrenaline fueling your body from the shock that she actually took this path of violence. You tried to get up but she stepped on your back, pushing you back down, you look up at her in fear, her cold dead eyes staring into yours, “long before you know it, Emily will forget you even exist.�� She says, swinging at your back again as you scream from agony, golden blood now mixing into the dried blood that covered you, you were shaking from terror and pain, she picked you up from your neck, as you struggled in her grasp, “stop- it!-“ you begged, trying to breathe, trying to kick her off you as golden blood dripped onto the ground in her office, she didn’t respond as she opened a portal, you turned to look, the familiar red skies before your very eyes, you turn to Sera desperately, “Don’t do this!-“ you gasped, struggling more in desperation, “You can’t!” You say, trying to pull her grasp off you, you were losing air and the stamina in your body.
“But I will.” She says with no solace or pity in her voice, she threw you into the portal with a second thought, closing it quickly, you gasped for air, adrenaline fueling your body as you regained oxygen to breathe but that was the least of your worries now, you were falling and your wings were to injured to fly, you were panicking as you tried to use your wings to fly but the pain was to unbearable, you saw your stars in the sky from earlier, protecting the sinners, thats it! thats your only ticket, you immediately tried to summon stars but it was a struggle to do so from how much power you already used from earlier, you had to overexert your abilities again, you mustered all the strength you had left within you, your angelic form showing as a bright colorful aura gleamed around you, you summoned stars but it was so hard to focus with adrenaline and panic that was fueling your body, you manage to make some stars but they were falling with you, some staying in place in the air for you to land on but you would quickly bounce off them from impact, you couldn’t focus at all, the sky rained stars that you had tried to quickly make but failed to use, it was too late as you crashed into the ground, a crater formed around you.
Your whole body hurt, it hurt more than anything you felt before, you weakly tried to sit up, you look at something glowing on the ground, you look to see a lavender blue star, the imperfect perfect star Emily had gifted you fell out of your hair, you winced in pain as your reached for the star, grabbed it and holding it to your chest as you laid back onto the ground, completely lost of any stamina and energy left to give.
Golden blood began to surround and puddle around you, the adrenaline and pain was the only thing keeping you awake right now, you laid there weakly, looking at the now red skies, you couldn’t do anything but only to try and breathe, trying to stay away, you were alone and no one in hell was going to go and try to save you. You were helpless, alone, once again. You couldn’t help but cry, scream in pain, why was this always happening to you? Why couldn’t you just find happiness? Why couldn’t the universe- help its only and dearest child? Your screams were so loud but they always heard im deaf ears, why did fate choose you to suffer this path? you screamed until you couldn’t anymore, you stared at the red sky as you waited for your in pending death. While looking at the sky, you see the stars shift toward you, raining their star dust onto you, the dust leaving soft touches on your skin, they felt like cool kisses, soothing your pain, you smiled weakly at your creations, your eyes feeling heavy as they tried closing, you fighting to keep them open but you eventually lost that battle.
eventually, everything went to black.
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flightlessangelwings · 7 months
Text
What Was Unspoken, And What We Finally Said
Din Djarin x fem!reader
Word count-3.6k
Warnings- s.mut (18+ ONLY!), sexworker reader (respectfully), mutual pining, reader is said to have been with both men and women but her sexuality is up to you, unprotected sex, hj, finering, oral (f receiving), protective!Din, soft!Din, feelings, no description of reader other than body parts and no use of y/n
Notes- This is part a bonus Valentines fic and part a thank you for 5,000 followers fic! I would have liked to do a full follower celebration but since I'm low on writing time lately, I'm doing 2 gift fics for y'all instead. I just want to say thank you each and every one of you for following and supporting me all these years!
Since this is Star Wars, I looked up if there was anything like Valentine's Day and while there isn't one canonically, there is a "Lover's Day" that the fandom kinda agreed is equivalent so I used that here but it can be read any time of year since it's Star Wars and we can say it's any time lol! Enjoy!
@flightlessangelwings-updates is my update blog so please also follow that and turn on post notifs to stay up to date on when I post new things!
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You were exhausted.
If you were honest, you weren’t even sure what day it was… or even what time of day at all. Things had never been busier at the brothel the last couple days, and you weren’t sure why. Especially today it was back to back clients for you. The extra credits were nice, and much needed, but by the Maker were you wiped out. But it wasn’t all bad. The brothel you worked at was safe and respectable and the clients almost always tipped well. You even had a lengthy list of regulars, which was nice. Many of them even came by today too.
The day started with a visit from one of your favorite bounty hunters, Fennec Shand. She was usually more quiet and stoic, but today she had an air of playfulness about her, and the smirk she wore on her face made your heart flutter. Later in the day, Axe Woves came by, and seemed more flirtatious than usual. He always left you with a wink and a kiss on the back of your hand, but today he left a lingering kiss on your cheek… and extra credits in tip. 
But there was one person you looked forward to seeing more than anyone else. And he hadn’t come by in some time. 
You let out a heavy sigh as you flopped down onto the bed. Wrapping your robe around yourself, you closed your eyes as you finally got some time to rest after a busy day. Just as your body relaxed into the plush mattress and you felt yourself about to doze off, there was a knock at the door.
“Coming,” you sighed as you pushed yourself up, ready to turn away whoever was on the other side of the door. You just wanted to rest for the rest of the night. “Listen, came you come back tomor…” you froze mid word as your eyes landed on the one person you had hoped to see, “Din!” you breathed.
“Did I come at a bad time?” he asked, tilting his helmeted head to the side, “I had a bounty in the area and I thought I would come by.” Since it’s been awhile, he thought to himself, and I missed you.
“No, no,” you ushered him inside before he could walk away, “Come in.”
The Mandalorian walked past you, entering the room while you closed and locked the door, “Everything alright?” he asked, noticing the exhaustion in your voice.
“Fine,” you replied as you crossed the room and sat down, motioning for him to sit next to you, “It’s just been really busy here the last couple days. Not sure why,” you shrugged. 
“Want me to come back another time?” he asked plainly, his tone hiding his true disappointment especially after having not seen you in so long. Din truly looked forward to the days when he could come by the brothel and spend time with you.
“I think I can muster up some energy for my favorite client,” you replied with a flirty wink. It took everything you had to not sound like you desperately wanted him to stay, and even if you couldn’t even pull yourself off the bed you would do it for him.
Din tilted his head to the side slightly as a soft amused huff escaped his lips, “Your favorite, huh?”
You heard the smile in his voice. Biting your lip and subtly shimmying your shoulders, you closed the gap between your bodies and traced the chestplate of his beskar armor with your finger, “Don’t tell anyone else. They might get jealous,” you purred as the room started to warm around you.
Din reached in his pocket, pulling out a generous amount of credits and placed them on the nearby table before he leaned in closer to you. He cupped your face, tenderly caressing the side of your head in his gloved hand, “Your secret is safe with me.” Din gently rubbed his thumb against your cheek while his large hand cradled you softly while he pushed his body against yours.
“Din…” you breathed as your eyes fluttered shut and you allowed him to guide you back until your legs hit the bed. 
“I’ve got you,” he murmured as his hands moved down the front of your body and tugged at your robe. 
A gasp escaped your lips as the cool air hit your skin. But, you didn’t feel cool for long. Even through the darkness of his vizor, you could feel Din’s gaze on you, and you could tell he eyed you hungerly. The way his breath hitched whenever he saw you bare for him, the way his helmet tilted slightly, the way his hands gripped you just a little bit tighter… you knew all Din’s tells by now. And you craved the feeling of being under his touch.
“Beautiful,” Din sighed as he guided your body down onto the bed. He stood in awe over you for a moment as your robe fell open and framed your figure. His pants felt tighter as his cock reacted to the way you settled yourself, spreading your legs wide for him. Din let out a low groan as he tugged his gloves off. They were the only thing he ever removed, and he only ever took them off with you.
“Din,” you whispered again as the bed dipped as he hovered over you, “Let me…”
You ran your hands down his chest once more, imaging what it would feel like to feel his bare skin under your touch instead. You bit your lip when you reached the hem of his pants, and you expertly unzipped and freed his cock without letting any other sliver of skin show. You knew the trust he put in you, and you never took it for granted. You felt honored that he even trusted you with his real name- something else you held near and dear to your heart. 
Savoring the groan he let out, you stroked his length slowly. You made sure to squeeze right where he liked it, and you let out a whimper every time a louder growl escaped his lips involuntarily. But you let out another whine when you felt his thick fingers cupping your pussy, and you mewled when Din pushed them inside you.
Pumping his fingers to the same rhythm as you stroked his cock, your moans harmonized with his grunts as you both prepped the other. Heavy breaths filled the room as you fought to keep your eyes open and locked on his vizor. Din rested his helmeted forehead against yours as he thrust his fingers deeper inside you, causing you to cry out louder. But, being a professional, you kept your wits about you and squeezed his cock harder in response.  
Din groaned and let out an amused laugh, “Are you ready for me, mesh’la?” he cooed.
“Always,” you whispered back with a smirk of your own.
Another short huff echoed from his helmet as he murmured your name and pulled his fingers out of you. At the same time, you let go of his cock, your hand brushed against his as he reached for it to line himself up with your pussy. The two of you froze for a moment as your gazes met, and for a breath, time felt like it stopped.
A whirlwind of emotions ran through both of you as you stared at each other. It was as if you could both sense the other had something to say, and if you both had a secret you kept buried. Yet, it remained unspoken between the two of you. Your mouth dropped open and a deep breath escaped your lips, like you were about to put into words what neither of you would say.
Before you could, though, Din thrust his hips forward, driving his cock into you in one swift movement. Your head dropped down into the bed as you let out a loud, obscene moan as you felt the familiar stretch of his cock. 
“Din!” you cried out as he reeled back and thrust forward again.
“I know,” he grunted as he felt his skin sweat underneath all the armor. You had an effect on Din that no one else did. He lost all control when it came to you, especially when he was inside you. And the way you moan with every thrust of his hips only made him come more and more undone.
You cried out in ecstasy as Din rocked in and out of you in a fast and steady rhythm. Tears filled your eyes as you clutched the sheets. He made you feel something you had never felt before. And every time Din visited you, it became harder and harder to deny your growing feelings for him.
Passions ran wild as Din picked up his pace, thrusting deep into you harder and faster. He growled from under his helmet as he felt your warmth engulf his cock. Grabbing your hips, Din gave one harsh thrust, driving his length as deep inside you as he possibly could.
The gasp you let out when he did that made his cock twitch, and Din knew neither of you would last much longer. Din kept a strong grip on you as he repeated the action, changing his thrusts to slow and deep and deliberate.
“Fuck… Din…”
“I know,” he grunted.
You moved your grip from the sheets to his arms as you clung to him for dear life. With every slow, deep thrust, you felt your climax inch closer and closer and closer until you finally spilled over the edge. With a loud scream and trembling legs, you came hard on his cock. Squeezing your inner muscles as you gushed between your bodies, wave after wave of pleasure pulsed through your body as Din continued to thrust into you, hitting your sweet spot over and over again.
With a low groan of your name, Din came right after you. He spilled himself deep inside you as he drove his cock as deep as he could once more. Din kept his pace as long as he could, riding out both your orgasms as you moaned and groaned together, clawing at each other in desperation as you did so.
After one last thrust, Din pulled out of you. He watched as you collapsed onto the bed while he regained his composure. Heavy breaths filled the room as you both came down from your highs, and Din rested himself on the bed next to you in silence. His breath hitched in his throat as you immediately rolled close to him and nested yourself comfortably against his body.
“Hey,” you breathed, breaking the silence, “Is your bounty urgent or do you want to stay for the night?”
Din let out a short laugh, “He’s frozen in carbonite,” he sounded pleased with himself, “He’s not going anywhere.”
You smirked against his beaker chestplate as his unspoken acceptance lingered in the air like a comforting blanket between the two of you. Together, you laid in silence as Din wrapped his strong arms around you. Your heart pounded at the feeling of being in his arms, and you wished that it could be like this every night. But, he was a Mandalorian bounty hunter, there was no way that was in the future for you.
Suddenly, an explosion of fireworks echoed from outside, making you gasp and jump up with fright. Din tightened his grip around you, pulling you even closer and going on high alert. The two of you looked out the window as another color firework lit up the sky in the distance. More and more fireworks continued as the show went on, and in the distance you heard a crowd ooh and ahh at the marvel of the show.
Then the realization hit you. “Maker…” you breathed as you burst into nervous laughter, “Do you know what today is, Din?”
He turned to you but said nothing.
“It’s Lover’s Day!” you laughed more to cover the nerves. You just spent the evening of Lover’s Day with Din…
He seemed to mull over for several moments, his gaze moving down before he finally said, “So it is,” Din was quiet again as he turned back to you. 
Even without seeing his face, you felt your skin warm under his gaze. Somehow, you felt all his emotions just in the way he held you, and as Din moved his hand and cupped your face your world felt like it was spinning. You savored the warmth of his touch, and you let out a deep breath as you leaned into his hand and closed your eyes contently.
“Since it’s Lover’s Day,” Din was the one who broke the silence this time, “Let me take care of you…”
“Din…”
Carefully, Din rolled your bodies so that you laid on your back while he hovered over you. Looking up at him, your breath caught in your chest and your heart fluttered as he pushed himself down and settled between your parted legs. 
You let out a whine as heat rushed through your body. All you could do was swallow hard and moan in anticipation as you watched Din lean forward so that he hovered over your exposed pussy.
He murmured something incoherent before he rested his hand on your hips, gently pinning you in place. Not wanting to let go of you, Din used the leverage of your body to tilt his helmet up while he positioned his face over your folds.
A gasp escaped your lips when you felt his breath on your skin, “Din…” you whimpered as you closed your eyes tightly.
Din growled as he licked his lips before diving into you. The cry you let out sent a jolt through his veins, and combined with tasting you, Din almost lost all his composure. “Fuck,” he groaned against you before he lapped at your cunt again.
His hips bucked against the bed as he savored the sweetness of your pussy. Din groaned into you as his hands gripped you tighter, as if he couldn’t get enough of you. And the way you moaned and cried out in pure bliss only added to the overwhelming sensations and emotions he felt.
Not having expected this, tears quickly filled your eyes and your mind and body floated in the pleasure that Din’s tongue brought you. With every lap of his tongue, you felt a shock of pleasure tingle through your veins. And it wasn’t because he physically made you feel good either. It was the act itself, Din putting himself into a vulnerable position just to lick and suck at your pussy, and doing this for you.
It had to mean something, right?
“Fuck… Din…” you whimpered as you moved your grip from the sheets to his wrists, finding just the tiny sliver of skin under his armor.
Din grunted into you as he pushed his face more against your body. His hands shifted slightly so that his fingers curled around yours, holding both your hand and your hips at the same time. As much as he wanted to murmur soft words of encouragement, to tell you to cum in his mouth, he also couldn’t tear himself away. From the first taste, Din was addicted to you, and he already knew he wanted more… Wanted you.
Your legs trembled on either side of his helmet as you felt your body warm as your climax was about to hit. Without warning, you came hard with a loud scream, arching your back off the bed and gushing into Din’s mouth as your cries of pleasure filled the room.
He slurped and sucked at your folds as he tongue hit your clit over and over again, allowing you to ride out your orgasm on his tongue. And Din greedily lapped up every drop of your release, swallowing as much of you as he could. His grip on you tightened as he moaned against your body, lapping at you until you couldn’t take any more.
With one final gasp, you flopped down limp on the bed as Din broke away from you with a huff. His helmet slid down to cover his face in one smooth motion as he sat up and licked at the corners of his mouth from under the cover of his armor.  He watched you with captivate fascination as your breasts rose and fell with your deep, heavy breaths as you recovered from your intense climax.
There were so many words on the tip of his tongue. So many things that Din wanted to tell you. The tension in the air was so thick that it almost overpowered the smell of sex in the room. Din ran his hands up and down your body, gently caressing you and letting his touch speak for him instead.
“Din,” you murmured as you broke the silence and blinked your eyes open to meet his armored figure in the low light, “I…”
He moved his hand to the side of your face, not covering your mouth but the motion itself paused your thoughts. He said nothing as he pushed himself up to your face, stopping for a moment to rest his helmeted forehead against your own. As the two of you sat like that for a few moments, he brushed your cheek with his finger tenderly. Din whispered your name as he broke away, moving his hand to cover your eyes as he did so. 
Your lips pasted with a gasp, yet you stayed still, fully trusting the Mandalorian. With your eyes covered by his large hand, your world went black. Faintly, you heard a hiss in front of you, but before you could ask what was happening, you felt something on your skin. His breath.
Din pulled his helmet up just enough to uncover half of his face. His lips felt cold as the air hit his skin, but he was instantly warmed again when he pressed his lips to yours. He swallowed the moan you let out as he kissed you for the very first time. Tightening his grip on you, Din pushed himself even closer against you, desperate to feel you as close as possible.
You surrendered yourself to him willingly. Tilting your head, you were mindful to keep your eyes covered as you deepened the kiss by parting your lips for him. Din eagerly accepted the silent invitation, and you both moaned into the other when you tased each other for the first time. The fireworks continued around you, but the only explosions either of you cared about were the ones happening between you.
“I know,” Din murmured against your lips when he reluctantly broke away from you.
You let out a deep breath against his face, and you knew he felt your smile against his skin. Din placed one last kiss on your lips, lingering on yours for several moments before he pulled away and dropped his helmet back down.
Blinking your eyes open, you grinned when you were met with the familiar silhouette in the darkness once more. A soft smile lit up your face, and it made Din’s chest tighten with the sincere look in your eyes. Just as you were about to say something, though, a knock at the door made both of you jump to attention.
Din was quick to stand and shift into attack mode. Out of pure reflex, his hand reached for his blaster, ready to protect you.
“Wait,” you grabbed his wrist with one hand as you reached for your robe with the other, “It might be another client. Hang on,” you slid the robe over your shoulders and wrapped it around you as you moved around the Mandalorian.
He didn’t stray far from you, hovering behind you as you opened the door and recognized the man who stood on the other side, “Hey, I’ve got an overnight tonight,” you told him in a kind voice, “Can you come back tomorrow? I promise I’ll leave a time open for you.”
The man stuttered as he suddenly felt nervous as the Mandalorian glared at him from over your shoulder, “Y-yeah,” he finally said, “Sure… Sorry,” he mumbled before he turned and left.
Closing and locking the door, you turned back to Din and shook your head as you grinned, “He’s a nice guy,” you explained to him, “One of my best tippers too… So please try not to scare away my source of income.”
“Sorry,” he mumbled an apology as he visibly relaxed. Din had no issue with what you did for a living, he only had your safety and best interest in mind. He had seen you mistreated once before, and while he knew it was a rarity, Din never wanted to see you hurt ever again. Especially not if he could prevent it and protect you. 
“Let’s lay down,” you said softly as you reached your hand out to him. Your heart fluttered for a moment as he took your hand and allowed you to lead him back to the bed where you both made yourselves comfortable. Din immediately pulled you in close and held you in his embrace. 
Settling down for the night, you never felt more safe than you did right now, in Din’s arms. Yawning heavily, you felt the exhaustion start to overcome you once more, and you knew soon you would be sound asleep, “Hey Din,” you muttered sleepily, “Happy Lover’s Day.”
Din’s breath hitched in his throat as you quickly started to snore softly. He looked forward to nights like this, nights with you. And it was pure coincidence that he happened to come to you on Lover’s Day. But perhaps it wasn't a coincidence. Perhaps he was meant to be here tonight… with you. As Din listened to your steady breaking while you slept, he leaned in and whispered, “Happy Lover’s Day, cyare.” 
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Stuff I dislike in the Be More Chill fandom
(This is gonna be a long rant so yeah lmao)
1: Squipemy / Technical Difficulties is a horrible ship, you shouldn't ship it, and it is a PROSHIP.
The amount of people I see excusing it by saying that "the SQUIP is a computer he doesn't have an age!!" "The SQUIP isn't actually Keanu Reeves / Keanu Reeves' age he just looks like him!!" Is just gross
The SQUIP looks like an adult, speaks like an adult, and acts like an ADULT. Shipping him with a teenager is just so disgusting and seeing people ship them and giving lousy excuses makes me want to vomit
Squipemy shippers DNI block me you shouldn’t be allowed in the fandom
2: For the love of god can people PLEASE stop whitewashing Michael in fanart there so much art of him pale white and nobody talks about it!! The day that people stop whitewashing Michael is the day I can rest peacefully
3: Can the BMC fandom stop villainizing Jeremy please please please oh my god. Especially when it comes to that scene right before Michael in the Bathroom and the optic nerve blocking stuff
At the end of Upgrade / Loser Geek Whatever (depending on which production), Jeremy had already gone through tons of manipulation from the SQUIP, which heavily impacted his decisions, which weren’t really of his own volition anymore
Right before the dialogue before Michael in the Bathroom, Jeremy was assaulted (at least almost) by Chloe, causing him to run to the bathroom to avoid confrontation with Jake. During the dialogue with Michael, you can see that Jeremy’s honestly happy to see him, showing once again that he really didn’t want to leave Michael, but the SQUIP made him. However, Michael immediately goes into his dialogue talking about how bad the SQUIP is, and just generally bringing down the tone, making Jeremy increasingly upset, due to this plus what had happened right before this, eventually leading him to ditch Michael again and call him a loser.
TLDR; Can the fandom (especially the Michael defenders) PLEASE try to understand what Jeremy goes through during the musical and understand his actions are not from a place of malice
4: (this is the last take) Can people please stop infantilizing BMC characters
(specifically Jeremy, Michael, Rich, and Christine (Christine and Michael the most))
I know they are still minors, but they are 16-17 years old, there’s no need to act like they would have the maturity level of middle schoolers
Especially when people are like “[Insert character name here] shouldn’t curse!! They’re too innocent!!” And then it’s a character who’s either a late adolescent or a full grown adult
(I’ve seen that said about Christine mostly, which I get she never curses in the musical, but come on she still is 16 she can curse it’s not the end of the world)
Anyways thank you for coming to my Ted Talk
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dem-obscure-imagines · 8 months
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You're So Timeless | Vol. 1
Steve Rogers x Reader
Fandom: MCU
Summary: In 1943, Steve Rogers was visited by his soulmate. He fell hard. Problem is, she was from the future and didn’t stick around for long. Now, in the twenty-first century, he finally found her again, except this version of her hasn’t met him yet and won’t know he’s her soulmate for another year. 
Note: So this is a combination of my other two Steve Rogers soulmate AU fics, but lengthened and fleshed out into a full fic. I was literally possessed to write this. I have no other explanation. I really like how it came out. I gave this one chapter headings (I am also going to post it to Ao3) and yes some are Taylor Swift titles. Sorry about that. It takes place roughly around the time Civil War would, but we have managed to avoid the war this time around. I also moved some other characters up the timeline because I think they’re neat and I said so. Without further ado, please enjoy my new Magnum Opus.
Also Tumblr made me split it into two parts. Part 2 linked HERE and also at the end of the post.
Warnings: Canon-typical violence/injuries, soulmate au, tons of mutual pining, kind of a slowburn but in reverse. Light angst, but a happy ending.
Word Count: 38.7k total (I am not sorry)
Reader Is: Enhanced (forcefields), 24 years old, female 
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The End
Time.
It was a fickle thing. In the blink of an eye, a year had passed. A mere twelve months earlier, you had been living a different life. The only life you had been responsible for was your own. And your plants, but…they never seemed to last that long under your care. Now, everything was different.
It was the day before your birthday. Your twenty-fifth birthday, which, in the world you lived in, meant that tomorrow, a name would appear on your wrist, the name of your soulmate. It had been stressing you out all day, the weight of tomorrow and everything it meant.
It was late, and you were exhausted from a day of overthinking. The longer you stayed up, the longer you delayed the inevitable reveal, and thinking about it too much made you nervous, so you just decided to get to sleep sooner than later.
It was once you were just about to climb into bed that there was a knock at your door.
“It’s open!” You called. The door opened slowly, revealing Steve, who was leaning in your doorway, arms crossed, that pensive look in his blue eyes. “Oh, hey.”
“Hi.” He chuckled. He seemed nervous, although you weren’t sure why.
“Everything alright, Steve?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I actually came in here to check on you. Wanda said you were…quiet.”
“Yeah, you could say that.” You hugged your arms around your frame and bit your lip, looking up at the super soldier standing in front of you. “Just…I don’t know. I’ve been looking forward to tomorrow for my entire life, but…now that it’s here, I’m so scared.”
“Hey, come here.” He said, pulling you to him, strong arms wrapped around you, as if he could protect you from the future itself.
“I don’t know what to do…”
“(Y/N), whoever they are, they are incredibly, incredibly lucky. You don’t need to worry about anything. It’ll all work out. It always does.” He said it like he was certain. Like somehow he knew what would happen in the morning when suddenly your life was turned on its head and you had to venture out to find your other half.
Since you’d met him, Steve wore a leather band around his wrist, covering his soulmate’s name. You’d figured he must have met them in the forties and…maybe they hadn’t made it long enough to see him come out of the ice. But you didn’t ask about it. You never dared to put that question into words. He’d been through enough heartbreak already.
“What if they don’t like me…?”
He scoffed, holding you tighter. “That’s impossible. They’re going to love you. So much. I promise.”
“And…and we’ll still be f-friends?”
Steve pulled away, looking down at you, a hand very carefully touching your cheek. “Of course we will still be friends. Nothing is ever going to change that. I promise.”
You nodded, a tear slipping down your cheek. “Good. Thank you, Steve. For everything.”
He gently wiped the tear away, the pad of his thumb warm. Once he was sure you were okay, he let go, looking at you with that knowing sparkle in his eye once more. He took a little extra time to look at the shirt you were wearing, the Star Wars tee you’d had since high school. “See you tomorrow.”
“See you tomorrow.” You agreed.
“And happy birthday, (Y/N).”
We’ll Meet Again
“Ma’am? Are you alright? Ma’am?” The voice sounded far away. You were pretty sure you were still dreaming. You opened your eyes slowly and immediately became aware of the pounding pain in your head.
“Ow, oh my God.” You reached up and felt there, but it didn’t feel like you were bleeding or anything.
“Ma’am?”
You froze for a second, slowly looking up at the figure standing above you, confusion written all over his familiar features. It took you a long moment to put the pieces together. You were on a porch somewhere in what appeared to be New York, but it was…different. A lot different than the parts of the city you knew. Alright, it had to be a dream.
You looked up at the man standing above you and did a double-take. But no, it was him. It was a tiny, frail version of Steve. Your eyebrows furrowed and you sat up slowly, staring at him for a long moment before whispering, “Steve?”
His mouth opened and then shut again and he made a face of confusion, like he was trying to place where he knew you from, but he didn’t know you yet, and wouldn’t know you for several more years, to say the least. “Do I know you?”
“It’s complicated.” You exhaled. “Can we go inside? You’re going to need to sit down for this.”
Dumbfounded, Steve nodded and you stood up from the porch, only to find that he was at your eye level when you did. Weird. He led you into the small apartment and you looked around. It was quaint. There was an easel in the corner of the room and…Bucky Barnes sitting on the couch? You stared at him for a good, long moment, a shiver running down your spine.
“Who’s the dame?” He read your shirt. “What is Star…Wars…?”
“About to find that out myself.” He chuckled, leading you into the living room. “Buck, could you give us a minute?”
“I’ll be in the kitchen.” Bucky got up and walked to the other half of their tiny two-bedroom.
You sat down on the couch and so did he. The silence was thick. You thought for several moments. You weren’t quite sure how you had ended up in the 1940s. You looked down at your hands and it was then that your gaze finally landed on the writing on your wrist. And then everything made sense.
“What’s the date today?”
“It’s July 4th, why?”
“July 4th…” You whispered. “What, 1943?”
You could see the wheels turning behind his eyes before he replied, “Yes ma’am.”
“Well, happy birthday, first of all. And second of all…” You held up your wrist so he could read it. Steve’s eyes went wide and he stared at the three words written neatly on your skin in his own handwriting.
Steven Grant Rogers.
“You’re my…” He looked at you for a long time, his eyes wide. He hastily undid the cuff around his wrist and held it out to you, your own name written there. He ran a finger across the letters, as if to prove they were really there.
“I’m your soulmate.” You said certainly.
It hit you like a truck, then. The weird look on your Steve’s face, the way he was so certain that everything would work out. It was because he had already lived through this. And that meant that in all the time he’d known you, he’d been hiding his mark not because his soulmate had died, but instead because you were his soulmate and you didn’t know it yet.
Your entire year of friendship, of memories, of roadtrips and missions and movie marathons…he had known the whole time. And that look in his eyes wasn’t just his protective side coming out. It was love. It had been love the whole time.
Oh.
Steve exhaled a long, shaking breath, really taking you in. Once again, he had a million stars in his eyes. He let out a whispered, “Wow,” as tears began to form.
You came back down to earth. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” He chuckled, sniffling as a tear ran down his cheek. “I’ve just, I’ve got a lot of…health problems, so I wasn’t sure if I’d ever…meet you. And you’re here and you’re great and I just…I’m sorry.”
That brought tears to your eyes. “Oh, Steve…” You pulled him into your arms and he didn’t hesitate to surrender to your embrace, his arms wrapping tight around you and holding you close, head nestled into the crook of your neck. “Just breathe. It’s okay. I’m right here. I’ve got you.”
Always.
He took your advice, doing his best to avoid an asthma attack on what was shaping up to be the best day of his life. Once he finally caught his breath, he pulled away to look at your face again. “I have to ask…How did you know?”
“I don’t know if you can tell from these clothes,” you motioned down to the t-shirt and sweatpants you were wearing, “but I’m not from around here, exactly.”
“I kind of thought so, but I didn’t want to be rude.” He smiled softly. “Um, where are you from, then?”
“I’m from the future. Like…a while from now. It’s hard to explain why or how, and I’m not really sure how I got here, to be honest, but I’m glad I am.” You sighed, thumb grazing his cheek, wiping away his tears. He crooned at your touch. “I don’t know how long we have before I have to go back.”
“Am I there? Where you’re from?”
“You are. It’s complicated. We’re really good friends and…when I get back, I’m sure we’ll probably be even more than that.” You smiled, shaking your head. “I can’t believe I didn’t put the pieces together sooner.”
“(Y/N)?” Steve asked, trying out your name for the first time.
“Yeah?”
“Let me take you out today, show you a good time here before you have to go back.” He took your hand and carefully laced his fingers through your own, testing the weight of it, the feel of it.
You smiled. “I’d like that.”
“Not to eavesdrop, lovebirds — congratulations, by the way — but if you’re going to take her out, we’re going to need to find her some clothes that aren’t so…‘not from around here.’” Bucky leaned in the doorway.
“Yeah, I thought the same thing.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll call one of my girls and we’ll get her squared away. Sit tight.”
“Thanks, Bucky.” You said, chuckling when his eyes widened after you addressed him by name. “I know you, too. From the, uh, future.”
“Weird…” Bucky decided.
“Long story?” Steve asked, studying the look on your face.
“Very.” You agreed. After staring at him for another long moment, you pulled him back into your arms again, exhaling a long breath before whispering, “Steve, I’m so glad it’s you…”
***
“Wow.” You stared at yourself in the mirror, studying the way Bucky’s, ahem, lady friend, had curled your hair, done your makeup. You did a little twirl and relished in the way the skirt of your dress twirled. It was navy blue, short ruffled sleeves with a flared skirt and buttons down the front. “I think it suits me.”
“I agree. Blue is a good color on you.” Steve was sitting in a chair at the edge of the room, absolutely enamored as he watched you. “Although, I’m sure they’re all good colors on you, doll.”
You felt the heat rise to your cheeks. “Thanks.”
“I mean it.” He stood up and walked to you, slipping one of his hands into each of yours and staring into your eyes, looking at the way you looked standing next to him in his reflection. His soulmate. The kind of girl people write poems about. “You look great.”
“I don’t look out of place?”
“No one is gonna think you’re a time traveler. Well, unless you tell them.” Bucky said. “Maybe don’t do that anymore.”
“Yeah, I wasn’t planning on it.” You chuckled and gave Steve’s hands a squeeze. “Where to first, soulmate?”
His cheeks reddened as soon as you said the word. “Well, I was thinking we could go to my favorite little diner down the street to grab something for lunch, and then maybe we could take a walk through the park, catch a movie, and then go out for drinks tonight?”
“What, you aren’t gonna take her dancing?” Bucky teased, ruffling Steve’s hair under a large hand. “Show the girl a good time?”
“I would if I didn’t have two left feet.” Steve chuckled, a sheepish smile on his face. He looked at you, waiting for some kind of response. “How does that sound?”
“It sounds like a great time, Steve.”
He smiled. “Good.”
The two of you left the apartment not long after that, and walked side by side towards the diner. Your hands were swinging in the space between you and your hand brushed Steve’s once, twice, a third time, and then you slipped your hand into his, intertwining your fingers.
You caught him smile out of the corner of your eye. “Is this okay?”
“Yeah, of course it’s okay.” He grinned and chuckled to himself. “You can hold my hand as much as you want, doll.”
When the two of you finally got to the diner, a little bell rang over your heads and you got seated at a booth by the window. The two of you ordered drinks and you skimmed the menu while you waited.
“So, tell me about yourself.” You said, resting your chin against your fist and looking over at Steve. You studied the way his blue, blue eyes flicked up to your own and the blush that covered his cheeks shortly thereafter.
“You probably know a lot of it already.” He chuckled. “Unless we don’t talk a lot?”
“We talk quite a bit, but I still want to know about this you. Here and now.”
“I like art. Drawing and painting and stuff.” He said. “I haven’t had time to do much lately, but I’d like to get back into it.”
“See, that I didn’t know.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I didn’t know you were into art.”
“I could, uh, show you sometime.” He offered.
“I’d like that.” You smiled. “What else?”
“I like to read. I like going to Dodgers games with Bucky. One time he took me to Coney Island. I don’t like rollercoasters, but I liked playing the games. He wasted three whole dollars trying to win a teddy bear for a redhead named Dot.”
“Three whole dollars…” You chuckled. “Well you don’t have to worry about the rollercoasters too much, I can’t go upside down without throwing up.”
“That makes two of us. Enough about me, tell me about you.” Steve nudged, his hand slowly moving towards yours. “How do we know each other? When did we meet?”
“We’re…coworkers, I guess you could say. We met about a year back and now we live in the same building? I’m sorry for being so vague, I just—”
“Don’t want to give it away, yeah, I get it.” He nodded, understandingly.
“You took me under your wing as soon as I moved in and really made me feel welcome. You’re the one that brought me onto the team, actually.” You took a sip of your drink. “We’ve been through a lot together already, and I’m sure it’s just the tip of the iceberg.”
“Mmm…” Steve nodded. “I know I just met you, but I’m really glad you and I are close. Well, will be close.” He paused before chuckling and shaking his head. “There’s still some little voice in the back of my head telling me all of this is just some amazing dream.”
“That doesn’t even begin to cover it.” You chuckled, tucking a piece of curled hair back behind your ear. “I’ve…I’ve had a crush on you forever, Steve. I can’t believe this is happening.”
He stared at you, almost dumbfounded. “O-on me?”
“Yeah.” You agreed. You’d forgotten, you supposed, that Steve had had this phase, the self-depreciation, the insecurity. Your Steve, when complimented, was shy, sure, but you knew he understood what people were talking about. This Steve didn’t see it that way. Not yet. But it would be your job to use your one day with him to change that, to make your soulmate see that he was worthy of love, even self-love. “Yeah, of course on you, Steve. I can’t believe I get to have you.”
His cheeks reddened and he finally took the leap, taking your hand across the table, thumb grazing your knuckles with care. His blue eyes sparkled. “Funny. I was gonna say the same thing about you.”
***
Once the two of you were finished up at the diner, you took a walk through the park. It was gorgeous out, a bright, sunny, warm summer afternoon. Several couples were strolling down the paths, hand in hand, and you were one of them, your hand held tight in Steve’s, his thumb gently stroking the back of yours.
You went to the theater and caught a movie together. Luckily enough, they were showing the Wizard of Oz. Your current situation had you feeling like Dorothy in more ways than one. The movie had only come out four years earlier, which was definitely strange. Not to mention the fact that the tickets were only twenty-five cents, the popcorn a mere ten cents.
And then, once the movie was over and the sun was setting, you went to a bar, where Steve ordered each of you a drink. You took a sip of yours, something sweet, and smiled at him across the table.
“So, how’s your day been, birthday boy?” You asked coyly.
“The best I’ve had so far,” he replied, his eyes sparkling. The sparkle faded, however, when his expression grew somber. He hesitated, but then asked, “Okay, I have to know…How long do I have to wait to see you again?”
You exhaled a long sigh, biting your lip. If you told him the truth, he might ask questions you couldn’t tell him the answers to. And besides, the real answer would require some math. You didn’t know the specifics.
“I’ll be honest, Steve, it’s…it’s a pretty long time.” You thought for a long moment before continuing, “I…I can’t really tell you why. It’s all really complicated, and if I tell you too much, it might not happen the way it’s supposed to.”
“Oh…” Steve nodded and took a sip of his drink. Once he set down the glass, he reached across the table and took your hand. “Well, however long it is,” he looked straight into your eyes and a chill ran down your spine, “It’ll be worth it. Every second. I promise.”
You could have cried. “I hope so.”
“There you two are! I was wondering which bar you’d wandered into!” Bucky was, apparently, already slightly intoxicated as he approached you and Steve with a date of his own. “How was your day on the town, lovebirds?”
“Spectacular.” You replied. “I wish there was more time to soak it in.”
“New York sure is something, huh?” Bucky’s date asked, giggling innocently. If only she knew the half of it.
“Yeah, you could say that.” You laughed and tucked a piece of hair behind your ear.
“You guys wanna sit with us?” Steve asked.
“If you don’t mind too much, punk.” Bucky grinned.
Steve got up and switched sides of the booth so he was sitting next to you instead of across from you. You slid your hand into his, intertwining your fingers. He smiled, chuckling softly to himself as he gave your hand a squeeze.
“Did you give the lady her dance, Rogers?” Bucky asked, smirking.
“Not yet.” Steve chuckled. “We’ll see. The asthma makes it a bit difficult sometimes.”
“Never seems to stop you from getting into fights.” Bucky muttered, causing Steve’s cheeks to flush.
“Just wait until the band plays something slow,” Bucky’s date pointed out.
“There you go!” Bucky raised his glass to his lips. “Great idea, Maggie.”
“Glad to be of service.”
And so, the four of you chatted until the band started to play something sweet and slow. Steve looked at you for approval and you nodded. He led you out onto the floor with the other couples.
Steve blushed, flustered, and he looked at you before saying, “I don’t know how to do this.”
“It’s easy.” You promised, guiding one of his hands to your waist and holding the other. “That’s it. And then we just move to the music. You can twirl me around if you feel so inclined.”
“Alright.” He chuckled, swaying in time with you. “Hey, uh, (Y/N), I need you to know…I had a really, really great time today. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted in a soulmate and I’m so excited to spend the rest of my life with you someday, however far away that someday is.”
“I’m glad I met your expectations.” You smiled, tugging him a bit closer.
“No, you exceeded them. You’re better than anything I could have imagined. I’m so lucky.” He paused, and his expression fell a little. “I know I’m a lot. I have a lot of problems and they might complicate things sometimes, but…”
“Steve, you’re perfect.” You shook your head and leaned forward, resting your forehead against his. “The universe gave you to me for a reason and I’m so, so glad it did. You’re amazing. I can’t think of anyone better to spend the rest of my life with.”
He was quiet for a moment before whispering, “Can I please kiss you, doll?”
You leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips, the music swelling around you as you guided his hands to your waist, cupping his cheeks to hold him close to you. When the moment had passed, you rested your nose against his, meeting his eyes and inhaling his scent, committing this version of him to memory before he was reduced to just that, a memory.
“Steve Rogers, I am so sorry you will not hear me say these words until after I go back tomorrow, but I love you. I have loved you for a very long time. And I know I will love you for the rest of my life.”
You spent the rest of the night together. Twirling across the dancefloor, talking, soaking each other in. But when you reached the front porch of the townhouse, Steve looked back down the steps to find you’d disappeared, leaving him with nothing but the memory of your lips, your laugh, your smile.
“You gonna be alright?” Bucky asked, a hand on his shoulder.
“I don’t know.” He replied, words swallowed up by the sounds of the night. “Just give me a minute, pal.”
Bucky nodded, solemn. “Take all the time you need.”
The Beginning
Steve remembered the day you’d met—for the second time, though he didn’t realize it right away—like it was tattooed on his brain. It was a few years after he’d come out of the ice and he had taken Tony’s advice to get out more, which had led him to the local mall.
It had been an uneventful day. He strolled around the perimeter, taking in the storefronts, studying the fashion, browsing the menu of a pretzel place, reading the posters on the exterior of the movie theater, the things that were coming out in the coming months. Nothing interested him in particular. He didn’t really care for war movies.
After a few quiet hours, his peaceful walk was interrupted by screams, people running away at top speed, which, of course, caused him to spring into action, assessing the situation. He ran towards the source of the chaos, scanning, scanning, until his eyes landed on the attacker, a guy with a flamethrower, aimed at a teenage theater employee. Steve hurdled over a trash can, moving people out of the way, directing them to safety and trying to put himself between himself and the mallgoers, but before he could, you did, hands out in front of you and what seemed to be an invisible shield poised there, redirecting the flames and protecting the movie theater employee that had nearly been caught in the crossfire.
A quick flick of your wrist knocked the attacker’s gun out of his hands and it slid across the floor to Steve’s feet. He chucked it into the fountain without a second thought, where it fizzled pathetically. The guy lunged at you with heavy metal gauntlets, and you dodged the first swing but caught the second in the face, falling backwards. When you landed, however ungracefully, you sent a blast of energy at the guy, knocking him over a plant and sprawling onto the tile floor.
While the guy was on the ground, Steve tackled him, wrenching the gauntlets off of his hands and chucking them away, too. Soon, the police arrived, apprehending the guy while mall security comforted the distressed mall patrons, ushering them to safety and medical attention.
You sat on a bench after, breathing heavy, a cut on your forehead. Steve walked over, interested in this superpowered rescuer, someone who wasn’t yet on the Avengers’ radar, but would most definitely be on the news the next day if the sheer amount of phone footage recorded was any indication.
“Are you alright, ma’am?” He asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just glad everyone is okay.” You told him, meeting his eyes.
He finally got a good look at you and froze, looking bewildered. A deer in headlights. “You’re…”
There you are, doll. I’ve been looking everywhere for you.
It was you. Of course it was you. Since the moment he’d been unfrozen, he’d been looking for you. His soulmate. The girl from the future that popped in on his twenty-fifth birthday, turned his whole life on its head, and then left without warning, hours after their first kiss. Back when he was five-foot-nothing with asthma and more medical conditions than he could even remember.
Back before he was anything.
And you’d loved him anyway. You’d given him the day of a lifetime and hope for not only a future, but for love. That someone could love him for him despite it all.
“I know.” You knew? “I…I don’t know what it is or…why I can do it. I’ve been like this since college.”
Your powers, you meant. You thought he was talking about your powers and not your name, which was burning a hole into his wrist beneath the thick leather band keeping it hidden.
“Right. Well, it’s…” He sighed, gathering his words, hiding the elation and pain behind a warm smile. “It’s a good thing you were here. I don’t have my shield on me.”
“Mine is built in.” You chuckled.
“You, uh…have a cut. On your forehead.”
“Oh, do I?” You reached up and found it with your fingers and they came away a bit bloody. “Shit.”
“Come on.” He offered you his hand and you took it, letting him lead you over to the counter of the theater. “Hi, do you have a first aid kit we could borrow?”
“Yeah, of course.” The girl at the counter said, rushing to grab it.
Steve patched you up with gentle hands, off in a corner on your own, in the room the theater used for birthday parties. Staring up at him, you finally realized the obvious. This was Captain America. And he was using a careful finger to spread a triple antibiotic ointment on your cut.
Play it cool, (Y/N).
“Do you do this often? The hero thing?” Steve asked, trying to sound somewhat indifferent. He couldn’t be, though. Not entirely. Not when it came to you.
“No.” You shrugged. “Haven’t had much opportunity, thankfully. I mean…I’d like to, I just didn’t know how to…get into it, I guess. Any email I sent to Stark or S.H.I.E.L.D. or whatever would end up on a slush pile.”
“Well, I’ve got some connections. If you’re seriously considering it. I can’t say I recommend it, but…Obviously you’ve got that protective instinct and you seem to work well under pressure.”
“I don’t know about that. My heart is about to leap out of my chest.” You admitted, laughing as he carefully laid a Bandaid over the cut, closing the kit.
“That makes two of us.”
“Well, if you think I’m really cut out for it…I’d love to help.”
***
It was three days later that Nick Fury got in touch with you. You thought it was a scam call at first, but no one else would possibly have the info about you that he did. That was S.H.I.E.L.D. for you, you supposed.
You packed up your apartment, your boxes of books, your old journals, your clothes and makeup, your life, and hopped in the jet that was waiting for you at the meeting place. Inside was a pilot with flaming red hair, Natasha Romanoff. The Black Widow. It was hard not to get a little starstruck.
She helped you load your things into the jet, let you settle into the copilot seat, and then you took off, soaring away from your old life and towards your new one, the mysterious, magnificent facility tucked into upstate New York, that iconic A emblazoned on the front of the building.
“Steve said you’re telekinetic. That’s cool.” She complimented with a smirk.
“Yeah, I’ve got force-field stuff. I don’t know what else, exactly.”
“Oh, we’ll figure all that out. Banner already has a list of tests he wants to run. Nothing too intense. I made him promise not to give you the lab rat treatment too soon.”
“Reassuring.” You chuckled.
“Wanda’s been decorating your room all day. It’s not often we get new blood.”
“I appreciate it. I can’t wait to meet everyone.”
“They can’t wait to meet you.”
The jet landed a little under an hour later and Natasha helped you haul boxes towards the front door, where Steve was waiting. It was like time slowed, that look in his eyes, glistening little stars.
“Come on, Rogers, these boxes aren’t going to move themselves.” Nat waved him over, snapping both of you out of your trance.
“Right, right.” He jogged over. “Is there anything heavy?”
“That one.” You pointed. “It’s got my candles in it.”
“On it.”
You grabbed a few tote bags, slinging your computer bag over your shoulder. A few others came out to help, Clint and Wanda namely, the latter of whom used her shimmering red powers to speed the process along. Were you any more confident in your own powers, you would do the same, but you hadn’t had much opportunity to use them yet, and you didn’t want to drop anything fragile on your first day.
You started unpacking the essentials, your smart speaker, your laptop, some books and your favorite candle. You put some clothes in the dresser, hung some up in the large sliding closet in the wall. Upon further examination, you had your own bathroom, too, which was nice. There was a wall tapestry with sunflowers on it, and several little knickknacks. Wanda’s loving touch.
Someone cleared their throat and you turned to find Steve there, arms crossed, leaning in the doorway.
“Hi there, um, just checking in. Figured you might want a tour when you got settled in. No rush, of course.”
“I would love a tour. I can already tell I’m gonna get lost in this place.”
He grinned. “Not on my watch. Come on. I’ll show you around.”
Steve walked with you through the office spaces, the computer labs, Bruce’s lab, Tony’s. Tony was in the city, but Bruce was home and introduced himself with a dad joke about the Hulk and a warm handshake. You saw the training facility, a giant room with floor to ceiling windows, a wall of mirrors, practice dummies, landing mats, and plenty of sparring weapons. There was, separately, a fully furnished gym, and then the basics, a large, modern kitchen, living areas and lounges, study spaces, a library, a party room with a bar, and a very fancy coffee machine.
You could see yourself making a home here.
Steve walked you back to the hallway where all the bedrooms were. “If you need anything or have any questions, my room is just down the hall on the left. Wanda is next door. Dinner is at six.”
“Six o’clock it is. Thank you, Cap.”
“You can call me Steve.”
“Steve.” You nodded, slowly accepting the fact that you were now on a first name basis with Captain America. “And you can call me (Y/N).”
“Nice to meet you, (Y/N).” He said, some twinge of nostalgia at the end of his words. You turned back into your room to get some more unpacking done and Steve walked back down the hall, taking a deep breath and looking up at the ceiling, doing his best to hold in his tears.
…Ready For It?
You spent the first few days in your room for the most part, unpacking but also hiding, if you were honest. You met Vision. He seemed nice. He also had the ability to phase through walls, apparently. Still no sign of Thor, but you weren’t holding your breath. You were sure he was a busy guy.
Sam Wilson introduced himself with the same offer everyone else had so far, to let them know if you needed anything. You appreciated it.
And then, finally, there was Tony, whose dry humor came across immediately. He sized you up, drilling questions about where you went to college, what you majored in, what your top three movies from the 1980s were. You were pretty sure he liked you, but you didn’t think he trusted you. And that was okay. You knew that was something you’d have to earn around there.
“No soulmark yet, kid?” He asked, eyeing up your bare wrist.
“Not yet.” You confirmed.
“That makes you what, twenty-three? Twenty-four?”
“Twenty-four. As of last month, actually.”
“Okay.” He nodded. “Well that’s exciting. I’m sure you’re counting down the days.”
“More or less.” You chuckled, catching Steve watching you out of the corner of your eye. He did that a lot, you noticed.
Before Tony could come up with some witty comeback, the lights flashed red, accompanied by a loud siren.
“Vis? What’s going on?” Tony asked as Vision walked into the room, his sophisticated sweater melting into the uniform you’d seen on the news, red and green with a golden cape.
“There seems to be a stir at the local fairgrounds. Tremors and gunshots. Hostages.”
“Alright, let’s go pay them a visit then.” Tony pressed a button on his watch and transformed into Iron Man in front of your very eyes. “You can stay here or come with us. Up to you. But suit up fast. We’re out in five.”
You stood there for a moment, waiting for the shock to wear off, but the sirens definitely weren’t helping.
“Stick with me.” Steve instructed, voice calm, confident.
“Okay.” You nodded, following after him, towards the hangar where they kept the jets.
Natasha was standing at a locker, pulling her catsuit on with impressive speed, Clint beside her, loading a quiver with arrows, checking his bow.
“Nat, can you get her ready?”
“Baby’s first mission?” She asked, impressed.
You nodded, waiting for orders.
“Well, it should be an easy one, from the sound of it. Here, put this on. We’ll get you your own gear in the next few weeks.”
She chucked you an extra suit and you did your best to shimmy into it. Surprisingly, you could actually move in it. There were holsters, but you weren’t gun trained, so you figured it was best to leave that to the professionals. Instead, you followed the others onto the jet, hoping your forcefields and blossoming battle instincts would be enough to protect you out there.
***
The fair had devolved quickly into madness. There was fire, screaming, running, and gunshots. You flinched at the onslaught of it, but followed the others out anyway, listening to the voice in your earpiece, Steve’s voice, as he issued orders. You were put on civilian evacuation with Sam while the others engaged with the attackers. Six of them.
You did your job diligently, ushering people to a safe distance while law enforcement arrived. Until one of the attackers engaged with you, however, mistaking you for a civilian. Something snapped. In an instant your flight instinct vanished, replaced with the need to fight. He punched at you and you countered, sweeping a leg under him and then using a forcefield to knock him into the cornfield.
One of them launched a bazooka at Tony while he wasn’t looking, and without a thought, you trapped the explosive in a bubble, forcing it into the air where it exploded harmlessly, away from everyone.
And when the dust settled, the rest of the team turned to look at you, sharing looks with each other.
“Thanks for the save, kid. I owe you one.” Tony complimented, clapping you on the back on his way into the jet. “Let’s get something to eat. I’m starving.”
Your heart raced with the adrenaline of battle, the feeling of a job well done. Steve gave you a thumbs-up, a proud grin. His risk had paid off. You weren’t a total failure.
“You doin’ okay?” He asked, slinging his shield onto his back.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” You replied, letting the energy fizzle back into your palms.
He watched with interest at the faint crackles of blue that made up your powers. “You did good out there.”
You felt your cheeks flush. “Thanks, I—"
“Alright new girl, were are we stopping for food?” Natasha asked, slinging an arm around your shoulders.
“I get to pick?” You asked with a laugh.
“And don’t be afraid to pick something fancy. It’s Tony’s treat.” Clint added, walking with the rest of you onto the jet. You strapped in while the others tried their darndest to influence your pick, bickering like siblings. Like your family.
Yeah, you could get used to this.
Waypoint
Your training started shortly after that first mission. Bruce took all your vitals, measured them before, during, and after use of your powers. He recorded said powers with every device known to man until he had your ability down to a science. He had a hunch they were of cosmic origin, but you had no idea when you could have possible come in contact with something like that.
Next came a uniform. At the moment, it was a dark indigo color, something similar to navy blue, but leaning a bit more purple. The chest area was left blank, Tony claiming he’d add a symbol once his graphic design team came up with something. He did add some accents up the arms and down the legs, thin, light blue lines that matched the color of your powers.
Natasha and Clint gave you a few crash courses on weapons and your aim left a bit to be desired, but your hand-eye coordination wasn’t bad. Sam put you on a modified military workout regimen to get in shape, get your stamina up with the rest of the team.
You practiced making forcefields, seeing how big you could make them, how small, how much force they could endure before they broke. Natasha shot some bullets at them, and your fields caught them, allowing you to kill their momentum and drop them harmlessly to the ground. They could withstand some electricity, but not Wanda’s powers. And they held against Steve’s superstrength, but not for long. Still, a few hits from a supersoldier was more than most could endure, so it would buy you some time in the field.
Eventually, you moved on from just forcefields and started learning to move objects. It turned out, you were not limited to bubbles. You could create platforms underneath things. This evolved into creating platforms underneath people, that they could jump on, or ride on top of while you moved them.
You practiced using them for transport too, but it was harder standing on them while controlling them, especially if you tried to jump from platform to platform. It was a bit like patting your head and rubbing your tummy, and it would take a lot of practice.
There weren’t many missions, and the ones that popped up, you didn’t get sent on. They were high level things, and while your powers were improving, and very quickly, Bruce was always quick to reassure you, you weren’t ready for covert ops yet, especially ones that had been months in the making.
Every time Steve got sent off, he left with that sad little half-smile of his, the one where he pressed his lips together, eyes glittering like a lake under moonlight. He’d give you some words of comfort, usually dealing with how short the mission was supposed to be. It didn’t often make you feel better.
Bruce stayed behind with you, most times. More like all of the times. Code Greens, as they were called, were seldom necessary, and besides, as they had learned with Wanda back during the Ultron days, Bruce could be a liability if someone else got in his head. But it was nice not being completely alone in the big empty facility.
“He always looks so sad when he leaves.” You noted, sipping from a mug of warm tea. Steve had left only moments before, the last member of the team that was shipping out.
Bruce thought about it for a moment. “Does he?”
“Oh. I don’t know. Maybe I don’t know him that well.” You shrugged, the sounds of Animal Crossing resonating from the TV.
“You know, he has, lately. He didn’t used to.” Bruce noted.
“Weird.”
“Uh-huh.” He replied absentmindedly. “So explain to me this game?”
“Okay, so you move to this island and have to spend all your money paying off debt to this raccoon…”
It was in another training session that there was a malfunction. A shock grenade went off dangerously close to Sam. Before you could even process what you were doing, your hand shot out, a bright, pulsating star crackling in front of him, another, second star on the other side of the room. Steve assessed the situation and used the shield to knock Sam into the star, neutralizing the grenade right after. There was a bright flash and Sam appeared on the other side of the room, tumbling out of the second star.
You froze, curling your fingers and closing both of them. There was a slight pinch in your shoulder, near the base of your neck. The others all stared.
“Wait, what was that?” Bruce asked over the intercom.
“You did that?” Steve asked, motioning to Sam as he walked over.
“I think so.”
“What was that?”
Natasha asked, looking you up and down. Sam stared at you like you’d sprouted a third eye.
“I don’t know.”
“Do it again.” Bruce insisted. “Hang on, I’m coming in there.”
The door from the observation room opened and Bruce joined the rest of you in the circle that was steadily forming, all of them watching you, waiting.
“I don’t know, it was just like…” You focused on that feeling again, the desperation to get Sam the hell away from that grenade, and as though you were punching a hole through reality, it opened in the center of the circle, an eight-pointed star, bobbing and ebbing and flowing, made of the light blue energy you were so familiar with.
Carefully, you opened another one, ten feet in the air above the first. Clint shrugged and chucked a tennis ball into it. Sure enough, it popped up to the second one, before falling down through the first one again. This continued until eventually you closed the bottom one, letting the tennis ball bounce harmlessly across the floor.
“Well shit.”
“Waypoints.” Bruce said, deep in thought. “Teleportation. This…this opens up a lot of doors.”
“Yeah, no kidding.” Steve murmured.
“Hey, that’s kind of cool. Waypoint.” Clint said, drawing attention to it. “What do you think?”
“What, like as a codename?” You asked, weighing it as an option.
“I like it.” Sam grinned. “Waypoint.”
“Waypoint.” You repeated, trying it out. Hi, I’m Waypoint. I’m an Avenger.
It sounded silly, but it was getting more official by the day. There was, of course, only one way to make it official official, and that was with one of Tony Stark’s famed parties…
Wonderstruck
You let out a sigh, staring at your reflection in the mirror. It was the night of the big party. Your first, as an Avenger, and the official induction of what Tony was deeming the second class of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, Sam: the Falcon, Wanda: the Scarlet Witch, Vision, and You: Waypoint.
He’d gotten you a dress to wear, one that matched your uniform. It was long, sleek, that navy blue/indigo color. It glittered like stars and moved like a dream. And in the middle of it, poised at the base of the sweetheart neckline, was the eight-pointed star that Tony had turned into your symbol.
Your hair and makeup were done, and all that was left was the zipper.
Someone knocked on the door.
“It’s open!” You called, expecting Natasha or Wanda. Instead, it was Steve, who, when he saw you were unzipped, pulled the door almost all the way closed and shielded his eyes with his hand.
“Sorry! I’ll leave—”
“Wait, actually, could you help me zip this up? I can’t reach.”
Steve nodded, slowly lowering his hand and entering the room. He closed the door behind him to give you some privacy. He was dressed in a sharp black suit with a blue tie. His lapel pin looked like a tiny version of his shield.
“Wow…” He murmured, taking you in. “You look great, (Y/N).”
“You think so? I’m not sure blue is really my color…”
He scoffed. “It most certainly is.” He swept the hair off of your shoulder, meeting your eyes in the reflection in the mirror as he gently pulled the zipper higher until it was secure in place. “In more ways than one.”
“Yeah, guess so.” You agreed, nervous energy crackling around your fingers, blue as ever. You dispelled it, snapping out of it.
Steve looked at the two of you in the mirror for a long time before turning towards the door again. Halfway there, though, he turned back around, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a flat velvet box. “This is, um…for you.”
“Oh! Thank you.” You reached for it, heart racing. Inside was a necklace, its pendant a silver star with eight points. In the center, an aquamarine gem. You gasped, looking at it. It was beautiful, delicate. “Steve, this is beautiful. Thank you so much.”
“It’s the least I could do.” He said, offering his hand. “May I?”
“Please.” You said, handing him the necklace and moving your hair out of the way. He did the clasp behind your neck. It settled between your collarbones.
“There. Now it’s official.” He whispered.
“Almost.”
“Almost.” Steve agreed, offering you his elbow. “Right this way.”
You looped your arm through his, letting him lead you out into the initial murmurs of the party. What Natasha dubbed the “extended family” had shown up. Rhodey, Maria Hill, Nick Fury, Happy Hogan, Pepper Potts, and, of course, Thor.
He was a sight, that was for sure. He towered over everyone else at 6’5”, arms the size of tree trunks. It was a bit intimidating to say the very least.
“Rogers!” Thor bellowed.
“Thor! I didn’t think you were coming.”
He grinned. “I never miss a feast.” His eyes fell on you. “And you must be this new team member Banner spoke of.”
“I’m (Y/N). It’s nice to finally meet you.”
“The honor is mine.”
“Here.” Natasha handed you a champagne flute. She eyed up your necklace. “That’s cute.”
“Steve gave it to me.”
She quirked an eyebrow and looked up at the supersoldier, who still had your arm. “Steve has good taste.”
“Steve had help.” He admitted, smiling sheepishly.
“I’d get you one too, Rogers, but Thor has the strong stuff.” Natasha said, patting his other arm while you took a sip of the champagne. It was sweet, tangy. “God’s favorite boy scout has trouble getting drunk.”
“My tolerance is too good.”
“I think we just need to get you a Four Loko. Or two.”
“A what?” Steve asked.
“It’s like four drinks in one can. They’re insane. I tried in college, but tapped out halfway through.”
He considered it for a moment, letting out a laugh. “See, that just might work.”
Tony wandered around the lounge, greeting everyone. He looked you up and down. “You look beautiful, Portal Girl.”
You internally chuckled. The others had advised you not to feed his ego when he used his nicknames. “Thank you, Tony.”
“And you’re also here, Rogers.”
“Tony.” Steve nodded.
“You her date tonight?” He asked, motioning to your joint arms.
“Oh. Yeah, I suppose I am.” Steve agreed, not budging. Neither were you.
“Well, I hope you’ve taken some dance lessons since last time, Rogers. I’m sure (Y/N) wouldn’t want to have her feet walked all over.”
Steve chuckled and rolled his eyes as Tony moved onto his next targets. Sam emerged, looking very sharp in a red suit. Even Vision had dressed up for the occasion, Wanda beside him wearing an elegant red dress. The two of them talked and laughed on the other side of the room and you smiled. You could tell when you moved in that he cared about her.
You wondered if robots could have soulmates, too. If any android had a soul, surely it was Vision. Maybe you’d ask him about it sometime.
Once all of the expected guests were accounted for, Tony did the briefest ceremony in the history of ceremonies, introducing you all to the few members of the press he had allowed to come. You spent the beginning of the evening shaking hands, networking, and then once the strangers left, the real party started.
Nat switched you to something a lot stronger to champagne, and she was running the bar, so it was easy to get refills. Clint and Thor were arm wrestling on one of the tables which was…hilarious, admittedly.
Steve found you after a few hours apart. “Hey, will you be my partner?”
“Sure, for what?”
He laughed, loosening up quite a bit with Thor’s Asgardian mead in his system. “Sam and Bruce are trying to teach me how to play Beer Ball or something.”
“Beer Pong?”
“That one, yeah.” He nodded. “Winners play Clint and Nat.”
“That checks out.” You chuckled. “Yeah, I’m game. I haven’t played since college, though.”
“I haven’t played ever so I’m sure you’re a step ahead of me anyway.”
“We’ll see about that. Your physics skills are pretty good, what with the shield and all.” You complimented, earning that charming smile of his. “We might just give them a run for their money.”
“Enough flirting, kids, get over here.” Bruce grinned as he finished lining up the cups.
“You know how to play Beer Pong?” You asked, plucking a ping pong ball off of the table and fiddling with it.
“Kid, I have seven PhDs. I have played my share of Beer Pong.” Bruce admitted.
You couldn’t help but smile at that. It was nice to see the Avengers loosen up like this, have a good time together, really truly bond.
You gave Steve the basic rundown of the rules: no elbows past the edge of the table, balls back, stoplight, island, and that if you let Sam and Bruce get too many cups, you and Steve would get “schwaisted” as the kids said, or, at the very least, you would. Steve would probably be fine.
“Ladies first.” Sam said, giving you the second ping pong ball, one of which, you handed to Steve.
“You’re gonna regret that.” You said, rubbing the ball between your hands before perfectly bouncing it into the cup at the front of the pyramid. “Your turn, Steve.”
“Don’t mind if I do.” He said, sinking the ball into the same cup. “I believe that’s three cups, gentlemen.”
Sam’s jaw dropped. He shared a look with Bruce. “Maybe this was a bad idea.”
“You’re telling me.” Bruce chuckled, retrieving the ping pong ball and rolling it back. He started drinking the contents of the first cup, leaving the other two to Sam. “Alright, do your worst.”
Needless to say, you wiped the floor with the other two. Barely even gave them a chance. Which is why it was only fair that Clint and Natasha kicked the absolute shit out of the two of you.
You struggled to down your third cup, which is why when you reached for the fourth, Steve shook his head and took it from you, only offering a wink when you opened your mouth to protest.
“Hey! Steve, it’s supposed to be five each.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, she already finished hers.” Steve shrugged, chugging another like it was water. “Right, (Y/N)?”
“Yeah absolutely. What he said.” You shrugged.
You helped clean up the mess a bit after the game was over, rounding up empty cups, wiping down the table, and then washing your hands as Tony switched the music to something upbeat, dancing music.
“Come on, let’s dance.” Steve urged, clearly toeing the line between tipsy and drunk. He reached out for your hand and you couldn’t resist. You didn’t even try.
You let him lead you out to the middle of the room, where Wanda and Vision were already dancing together and looking adorable doing it.
“I thought you couldn’t dance.” You laughed as he spun you around to the music.
“I’m a quick learner.” He whispered, mouth against your ear.
You swore your entire body flushed red, but you let your feet lead you through the dance. Steve took both of your hands, swinging you out and then back in, spinning you around. You blamed the alcohol on what happened next. Your heel caught on the fabric of your dress and you fell over the back of one of the couches, tugging Steve down with you.
He laughed, using an arm to push himself off of you, hovering, eyes soft. “Sorry.”
“It’s my fault. You’ve got me falling for you, Rogers.” You murmured, gazing up at him through your eyelashes.
You said it as a joke, a quip, but there was some truth in it. More than some. It had been a magical, magical night. And if it weren’t for the leather cuff on his wrist, you could see yourself spending the rest of your life with him.
Steve closed his eyes, smiling and sitting up, helping you upright again. “I’ll go get us some water.”
You sighed and sat back against the couch, heart hammering in your chest.
Natasha perched on the armrest, looking down at you. “What was that?”
“Not sure. I think I fumbled the bag. If…if there even was a bag I guess.” You chuckled, shrugging.
“No, there is something there. I can see it.” Natasha said, thinking as she nursed a glass of wine. “Hmmm…”
Steve stood in the kitchen, getting two glasses of filtered water from the fridge. He exhaled a deep sigh, leaning against it. He replayed the moment in his head over and over. The look in your eyes, the way your necklace glimmered in the light, the sound of your voice, the flush of your cheeks. You were catching feelings for him, that much was clear. He wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing.
Steve Rogers, I am so sorry you will not hear me say these words until after I go back tomorrow, but I love you. I have loved you for a very long time. And I know I will love you for the rest of my life.
Maybe it was a good thing, he reasoned, thinking back on his first night with you all those years ago. But you still couldn’t know why. Not yet.
It was going to kill him to keep it a secret for ten more months.
Timeless
Sherbert rays of the sunrise lit the training room, filling it with a warm orange glow. You were sitting on the floor, stretching your legs while you listened to music. That was another thing on the growing list of skills that had improved during your stint as an Avenger: your flexibility.
Suddenly, Steve was standing over you, saying something you couldn’t hear due to the noise cancelling headphones over your ears.
You slid one off, looking up at him. “Good morning.”
“Morning. You’re here early.”
“Couldn’t sleep.” You shrugged, reaching for your other leg.
“Sorry to hear that. Wanna talk about it?”
“Oh, it’s nothing. I think I drank too much caffeine before bed last night. Learned my lesson. No caffeine after six.”
“That’s a good rule. Mind if I stretch with you?” He asked.
“I don’t mind.” You tossed your headphones onto your workout bag and connected your phone to the Bluetooth speakers, putting on some music you could both listen to.
“I recognize her. This girl’s voice.”
“Taylor Swift.”
“Ah. Yes, her. I keep hearing about her.”
“That doesn’t surprise me.” You laughed. “Have you liked any of her songs so far?”
“I don’t know if I could name one for you, to be honest.” He listened to the song that was playing. “This one’s not bad, though.”
“I’ll send you some recommendations. There are some I think you’d really vibe with.”
He smiled. “I’d really like that.”
The others came in not long after, did their warm-ups, and then Steve briefed everyone on the plan for their training session, one in which everyone would swap weapons, practice using each other’s things in case they ever had to in battle if one of their teammates got disarmed.
You started with Clint. He showed you the absolute basics of archery, how to pull back the bow, how to notch an arrow, how to aim, taking into account distance. You fired a few arrows into a target and did okay, you supposed, but you would need some practice if you wanted to actually get good at it. Years of it, realistically.
Natasha showed you how to use her electric batons, which were fun, but did intimidate you a little. You definitely did not want to end up on the wrong end of those things.
And then, inevitably, you were standing in front of Steve. He offered you his shield, which on its own seemed daunting. You held it for a second, assessing the weight of it. It was noticeably lighter than you thought it would be.
“Woah.”
“Yeah. People always expect it to be heavier.” He said, a hand resting on his hip as he watched you hold it. It looked so right in your hands, he decided. “It’s good for a lot of things, but first…” Carefully, he helped you put your arm through the straps on the back of it, holding it in front of your body in its primary and most famous purpose.
You let out a sigh, shaking your head. “This is so crazy.”
“Is it?”
“Yeah, you have no idea.” You chuckled, waving it around a bit.
“You keep looking at it like it’s Thor’s hammer or something.” He teased.
“Feels like it.”
“Well the good news is, this thing is not password protected by some Asgardian magic words. The bad news is, that means the bad guys can pick it up, too.” Steve said, gently positioning your body in an offensive stance, nudging a foot with his own, switching your arms around. “You can use it to bash somebody head on, or you can angle it a bit to get a more direct blow. It will take the force of most things. I…I actually kind of don’t know the limits. Hasn’t failed me yet. The paint does come off from time to time, though, so don’t worry about that.”
“Okay, wow.” You nodded. “Good to know.”
“I trust you with it.” He said, eyes meeting yours.
You smiled, heart racing. “I’m honored.”
He showed you a few other tricks, and then training wrapped up for the day, everyone grabbing some water, taking a shower, or making plans for lunch. Once you walked off with Wanda, Nat cornered Steve.
“What was that?” She asked, that catlike grin on her face.
“What was what?”
“I saw it, you know, the way you looked at her. I think you’ve got a soft spot.”
“Yeah, well, I did rope her into all this. Can’t say I don’t feel responsible for her.” He dodged expertly, weaving through Natasha’s mental gymnastics with skill and precision, or so he thought.
“Uh-huh sure. Well, she, Wanda, and I are going antiquing this afternoon. You should come. After all, you know quite a bit about vintage valuables.”
He laughed. “Hey!”
She walked off, smiling to herself. Steve thought about it for all of four seconds before he decided he would tag along. He hadn’t been to an antique shop in this century, so he couldn’t imagine the kinds of things they had there now. He might even learn a thing or two.
***
After a quick lunch, Steve did decide to tag along. It wound up being him, Vision, and the girls, which he certainly didn’t mind.
You and Wanda were buzzing with excitement, Natasha looking on and following behind with Steve. Vision lingered, studying everything, picking things up to get a closer look. He had projected a human disguise over himself, something Steve didn’t know he could even do, but it seemed to work. No one had batted an eye at him since they stepped foot in the shop.
“This place is…huge.” Steve said, glancing down the hall of the seemingly endless store.
“Biggest one in the state.” You chimed. “It’s the whole city block.”
“There’s a basement, too. And a second floor.” Natasha informed him, patting his arm. “This is gonna be an all day kinda thing.”
“Oh undoubtedly.” He said, setting down the teacup in his hands, a petite, floral thing.
You sifted through a box of records, picking up the soundtrack of the Muppets Movie.
“Is that a frog?”
“This is Kermit thee Frog, show some respect.” You laughed, putting the record in your basket.
“Kermit?” Steve asked again, seeming genuine.
“Oh I forgot you missed the Muppets, oh my god.”
“Yeah, that doesn’t sound familiar.”
“We need to fix that as soon as possible.” You told him. “Can’t have you missing out on cultural icons like Gonzo and Miss Piggy.”
“Okay now you’re making things up.” He chuckled, shuffling through the records as well. You showed him a few good ones and he added them to his basket, saying something about how he’s been meaning to use his new record player.
Wanda browsed some vintage rings, picking out a few, and Natasha rifled through a rack of vintage dresses, most of them from the forties and fifties from the look of it. Nat held up a navy blue one, silky, with short ruffled sleeves and buttons down the front. Steve froze, looking at it. For a moment, it looked just a little too familiar. Like the dress you had worn that night.
Eventually Nat put the dress back. You hadn’t seen it. You were distracted by a shelf of VHS tapes, looking for the old Barbie movies, whatever those were. Wanda was with you, on the next shelf over, calling out movie names when she found something cool.
Steve wandered off on his own, looking around at the different trinkets and toys, old letterman jackets and jewelry, dishes that may or may not contain lead. Finally, he came upon a little room full of art, paintings and photographs, handmade pottery.
Time stood still.
He stared at the large painting on the wall, oil on canvas. Two star-crossed lovers dancing in a bar in Brooklyn, a little guy with a dream, dancing with the most beautiful girl in the world, twirling in her dark blue dress. His heart raced. He never thought he’d see this painting again.
It had been his last painting before leaving for Camp Lehigh, the last painting he did before his life and body changed forever. He’d used the last of his paints to make it, every color mixed with care to get the exact color of your hair, your eyes, your lips, all from memory.
And it was here in front of him. When he had been presumed dead, it must have been sold off. He didn’t really have anyone left it could go to.
In that moment, he wasn’t Captain America. Standing in his shoes was that little guy from Brooklyn.
“Woah.” You murmured, suddenly right next to him. “It’s beautiful.”
“Yeah, it…it is.” He agreed, looking away from it. He didn’t want you to get too close of a look at it. However, that didn’t stop you from walking forward to inspect it closer.
“‘Soulmates.’ Artist unknown.” You read from the plaque. “Oh, it’s from the 40s. 1943. Does it look familiar?”
“Yeah, actually. Bucky liked that bar.” Steve said, pointing to the details of the interior. “It’s a little place in Brooklyn, called Val’s. Well, it was I guess. I don’t know if it’s still open anymore.”
Your eyes lingered on the woman’s face, on the man’s. You didn’t say anything about how they looked, about the uncanny resemblance to yourself and Steve. Instead, you sighed. “Someday, I want to be that in love with someone.”
He just about cried. But instead, he gathered his words, put a hand on your shoulder, and told you with confidence, “You will be.”
***
Hours later, when you were all shopped out and you’d checked out with your things, Steve stayed at the counter while the rest of you went to the car.
“Hey, um, that painting in the art room. The soulmates in the bar. I’m interested in buying it. Would it be possible to have it held here for a while, though?”
“Oh I’m sure we could arrange something,” said the old man at the counter with a smile and a nod. He started writing out the purchase form.
Steve glanced back towards where it was, that fragment of his soul he didn’t think he’d ever see again. He knew the fact that he’d stumbled upon it was nothing short of fate.
Wildest Dreams
It had been Tony’s idea. Of course it had. It always was, wasn’t it? He’d insisted that all the members of the team who hadn’t yet been exposed to Wanda’s mind manipulation should be, just in case there was a misfire during combat and one of you got caught in the crossfire. It would be important to see how each of you reacted, the kinds of things you saw so you’d be able to snap out of it.
Theoretically, of course.
This left Natasha, Steve, Thor, Bruce, and Tony out, as they’d already had their fun with Wanda’s magic. The rest of you, however, were waiting for your turn.
Wanda felt conflicted about it. She didn’t want to hurt her friends on accident, let alone on purpose, but Tony was insistent, and he had some of the others on his side. Namely, Rhodey, who had been hanging out more and more, and Clint, who’d had his experience with a different kind of mind control shortly before the Battle of New York.
It was part of why he’d volunteered to go first. Once he came to, he gave you a thumbs-up, shaking it off and walking over to Natasha.
“You sure you’re good?” She checked.
“Yeah, I’m fine. No big deal. Who’s next?”
Sam looked at you and the despondent look on your face before volunteering himself to go next. Rhodey went in solidarity, despite being too busy with his government responsibilities to be a full-time member of the team. And then it was your turn. You stood next to Wanda. She offered an apologetic smile before red crackled around her fingertips and it hit you.
For the first few seconds, you were fine. You felt tingly. You blinked a few times and your eyes felt weird. No doubt, your eyes were red, like the others’ turned when they were under the influence of Wanda’s powers.
“Hey, (Y/N), you okay?” Steve asked, voice urgent.
“Think so.” You replied, mouth full of cotton. It felt like that time in college someone had given you an edible that was too strong. The first and last time you’d ever gotten high. Like you were sinking and melting. Your legs buckled and Steve surged forward, catching you before you hit the floor, gently lowering you into a comfortable position. “Hey, you’re pretty strong…” You murmured, head lolling onto his shoulder.
The others all looked at each other. Clint dragged over a bean bag and Steve gently lowered you onto it, adjusting it so you’d be comfortable.
“She’ll be okay, Steve.” Natasha reassured him, the guilt in his eyes palpable, yet still not explained. Not entirely. She had a sneaking suspicion whatever it was had something to do with the name written on his wrist, the name he wouldn’t show anyone. Not her, not Nick Fury, not even Sam.
“Yeah, I know.” He nodded, slowly taking a step back. His eyes didn’t leave you. He had to force himself to look away. “I, um…I have to go…There’s a…” Steve motioned towards the door before leaving the room, while you sat there, catatonic, off in your own little world.
***
“Hey, (Y/N), you okay?” Steve asked, his voice close. “That was a long nap. Forget to set your alarm?”
You opened your eyes and you were laying down on the couch. Steve was standing at the island in the kitchen, cooking something. It smelled good. Really good. He was wearing a button-up, sleeves rolled to his elbows, still wearing his slacks from work. He had music playing from the record player, your vast collection of hits from decades of music, and he was still hooked on 40s jazz. You supposed you couldn’t blame him.
“You cooking?”
“Mmhmm.” He nodded. “Come over here and get a taste.”
You followed, out to the kitchen. He set down his wooden spoon and swiftly intercepted you, pulling you up onto the countertop, kissing you deeply, a hand running through your hair. Your hand came up to frame his cheek. He was growing a bit of a beard these days. You liked it, thought it suited him.
You sighed against his lips and then pulled away to look at him. He grabbed your wrist, pressing a long kiss to your soulmark. Three simple words. Steven Grant Rogers.
“I love you, doll.” His words cut through you, eyes tender and sincere. “Always have.”
But this wasn’t your Steve. And it wasn’t your reality, given away by the slightest tinge of red in his irises.
It wasn’t real. And neither was the glimmering wedding ring around your finger.
***
You blinked awake, the power dispersing from your head, leaving you shockingly sober. And hungry. That familiar sting was back, right between your neck and shoulder. You wondered how long it’d been.
Clint was in the room with you. So was Sam. Natasha was gone. Wanda too, surprisingly. As was Steve.
You got chills even thinking about him, the phantom of the wedding ring still clinging to your finger.
“You alright?” Sam asked, making eye contact with you first.
“Yeah, I’m good. How long…?”
“Three minutes. New record.” Clint said with a grin.
“Oh.” No wonder it had felt so short. Part of you wanted it to last longer.
“We’re sending Rhodey to get some food, if you’re hungry.” Sam said.
“Where from?”
“The golden arches.”
“I could go for some nuggies.” You admitted. “A McFlurry, perchance.”
Clint laughed. “How did I know you would say that?”
In the kitchen, Steve stood, hands on the counter, mug of coffee steaming in front of him, untouched. He stared at the cupboard door.
“That must be one interesting cupboard. You’ve been standing there for like five whole minutes.”
“It’s only been three.” Steve said, glancing at the clock.
“And the fact that you know down to the exact minute is why I’m so intrigued.” Natasha chimed, tilting her head. “What is going on with her? I have never seen you look at anyone like that in the entire time I’ve known you. Is she…what, the kid of an old friend? Grandkid?”
“It’s nothing, Natasha. She’s the newest member of the team, I’m just worried—”
“Steve.” She said, cutting him off, that look in her eye. “If you want to get all defensive about it, fine. Keep your secrets.” She sighed. “But if you need someone, I’m here. Whatever it is, you don’t have to carry it alone.”
Steve let out a long sigh, weighing his options. It was something to the tune of eight months until your birthday. That was still a long time. A lot of time for that secret to slip through the cracks and, potentially, break the timeline. The Butterfly Effect was something he had researched extensively. Your future together was something he wasn’t willing to risk.
No, it was too important that you stay in the dark, even if that meant keeping his friends in the dark, too.
“Thanks. I appreciate it. But I’m fine, really. It’s nothing.”
“Uh-huh.” She nodded unconvinced. “Well, she’s out of it. Clint just texted. She wants twenty chicken nuggets and an Oreo McFlurry.”
The relief was immediate. You were okay. He could only wonder what you had seen in there, and why it had been so quick. The others had been under for upwards of ten minutes. You’d only been down three. “Well good. I’ll let Rhodey know.”
Invisible String
It was late. A few weeks after your tussle with the Scarlet Witch, if you could even call it that. You could tell Wanda felt guilty about the whole thing, but it wasn’t her fault. If anything it was Tony’s. Sure, the exercise had prepared you for a worst case scenario, but it had also dug a very awkward gap between you and Steve. You could barely even look at him without wanting to burst into tears.
He had his soulmate, whoever they were. You really needed to let it go.
You walked down to the kitchen to get a cold drink, but there was already someone sitting at the table. Steve, sitting there, hand resting on his chin, papers spread out in front of him. There was a picture you recognized as Bucky Barnes.
You’d heard whispers of him around the Compound from time to time. Steve’s best friend turned Hydra assassin, brainwashed for decades and now, rogue, out there somewhere. Sam always seemed to be looking for the guy. Natasha and Clint, too. And there had never been any sign of him. Well, until now, it seemed.
On the TV, Star Wars was playing. Empire Strikes Back. Steve looked up at it every so often.
“Star Wars?” You asked.
He chuckled and nodded. “Yeah.”
“Your first time?”
“No. They were the first things I watched when I was out of the ice. I like them a lot. The hope, the Force, the Jedi stuff, the music.” He shrugged. “They’re good.”
“Who’s your favorite?”
Steve smiled, sheepish. “Han Solo.”
“And here I thought you’d say Luke Skywalker.”
“He’s great, too. You like Star Wars?”
“Yeah, I used to be obsessed with them in high school. Haven’t seen them in a while, though. I’m something of a Leia girl myself.”
“That makes a lot of sense.”
“Does it?”
“Oh yeah.” He nodded. “You’ve got that spark.”
“What order did you watch them in?”
“Nat made me watch the originals first.” He confessed. “I like the prequels, though. Well, two of the prequels. Phantom Menace is…”
“Oh yeah. You’re not alone in that.” You laughed softly. “You know, I never really pegged you as a sci-fi nerd.”
“Yeah, well, someone I really care about seemed to like them a whole lot, so I knew I had to check them out.” He shrugged. “What are you doing up so late?”
“Getting a drink. What are you doing up so late?”
He looked down at the papers and then back up at you. “Oh. Yeah, this is just…Trying to get some stuff figured out.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” You offered.
He thought about it for a long moment, letting out a little sigh before nodding. That was the only reassurance you needed before grabbing a can of soda from the fridge and plopping down into the seat next to him.
“They found him. Clint and Natasha. They think he’s hiding out in Kentucky somewhere.” Steve said. He shook his head. “He saved my life a few years ago. After all the brainwashing, he still pulled me out of the water. I don’t know how much of him is still him, but…”
“But it’s worth a try.” You reasoned. “Obviously he’s been through a lot, but he must be pretty strong to have made it through everything.”
“I don’t know when I’m going. They haven’t narrowed it down all the way. And Tony doesn’t want me to even go at all.”
“Tony is full of shit.”
He laughed. “Yeah…”
“If you want to go, you should go. And if you need me, I’m there. You shouldn’t have to do it alone.”
He met your eyes with a sobering gaze. “You mean it?”
“Yeah, of course.” You agreed. “When, uh, when I was in the eighth grade, my class took a trip down to DC. There’s a Captain America exhibit in the Air and Space Museum, it had just opened. We learned about you and Bucky. How close you were, what happened. There are videos of me just crying uncontrollably there, learning about it. They had to take me outside, get me some water. I couldn’t go back in. I don’t even know why. Something about it…”
“About me?” Steve whispered.
“That’s embarrassing. I shouldn’t have told you that.” You chuckled, shaking your head.
“It’s not embarrassing. It’s sweet.” Steve said, reaching for your hand on the table. You let him take it, fingers curling.
“So when you found me that day, I guess I always knew it would lead to something like this. A stroke of fate, or something.” You admitted. “Some part of me knew that you would mean something to me someday. I guess I never thought we would be friends.”
“How old were you?”
“God, this would have been like ten years ago at this point. I was like fourteen or something. I was twenty-one when they found you in the ice. It was all over the news my sophomore year of college, kind of right when I was figuring my powers out, actually. And then everything was all over the news and I…went into hiding more or less, hoping it wouldn’t be me on the TV next.”
“Until the mall?”
“Yeah. But I couldn’t just…let it happen, you know? It was like some part of me knew that I had these powers for a reason, and that if I didn’t stop it, who would? I didn’t know you were there, obviously, but, I think even if I had, I still would have jumped in.”
He smiled softly, eyes earnest. He gave your hand a squeeze. “Well I’m really glad you did, for the record. I think we’re all a little better off because of it.”
There was a moment of quiet. “Steve?”
“Yeah?”
“How old are you?”
“Oh, um…I’m ninety-eight.”
You chuckled. “No, like how old are you really?”
Steve took a breath. No one ever asked him that. No one really cared about that. No one except you, it seemed. “I’m not sure. I’d have to do some math. I think I’m twenty-eight maybe. Twenty-nine.”
“Thought so.” You smiled. “Well, Steve, whenever you get it figured out, say the word and I’ll suit up. We’ll bring him home.”
Out of the Woods
The next mission you were sent on wasn’t to bring back Bucky. Not yet. Instead, you were on the team that got deployed into a rainforest to break up a rogue Hydra base. It was warm, almost too warm for your uniform, but you were grateful for the coverage, especially when they started shooting.
You ran down the makeshift path, evading enemies and throwing up forcefields to stop them in their tracks. Thor was in town, so he was zipping around through the trees with his hammer, the force of it bringing some down every once in a while.
“On your six.” Steve reported through the comms. You dodged out of the way and sure enough, a Hydra agent tumbled ahead, tripped by a small field you cast at his feet. A few of Natasha’s bullets took care of that.
“Thanks.” You replied.
“Don’t mention it. I could actually use some backup. I’m in the building. There’s more of them than I thought there would be.”
“I’m on my way.” You reported, changing directions and sprinting towards the building housing the Hydra base. What they were doing here, you had no clue, but Bruce theorized it had something to do with a meteor that had landed out that way a few months prior. They were probably harvesting whatever materials had been inside it.
You kicked down the door. Steve had six guys on him, two of which he disposed of quickly. You made a portal beneath one guy, sending him falling down a flight of stairs with the second portal you opened.
The other three guys went down quickly enough, only for a guy in a giant mech armor to come crashing through the interior wall. He shot and Steve jumped in front of you, taking a hit to the neck. A tiny syringe filled with shimmering purple liquid.
“Fuck! Steve!” You ran to him, but that didn’t take care of the large problem looming behind you. Seeing red, you made another portal at the feet of the robot, opened it in the ceiling, and cut it off as it was halfway through, destroying it in a flash of sparks and shredded metal. It shut down, giving you time to get to Steve.
He was sitting against the wall, head slumped to the side. You took the syringe out of his neck, tucking it into a pouch on your belt for testing. If this thing was poison, you’d need Bruce to start whipping up an antidote as soon as possible.
“Steve, hey, stay with me.” You touched his face, trying to wake him.
At your touch, he blinked a few times, drowsy. He gave you a crooked smile. “Heyyy, there you are.”
“Come on, we’ve gotta get you back to the jet.” You told him, pulling him to his feet, but he slumped in your arms like dead weight. You had been working out since you’d been recruited, but he was still heavy. “You’ve gotta work with me, big guy.”
“They used to call me little guy.” He murmured, sounding drunk. “Back in Brooklyn.”
“I’m sure they did.” You slung his arm around your shoulders and started hauling ass out of the building. A few agents shot at you, trying to hit you while you were distracted with carrying Steve to safety, but they forgot you were the one Avenger whose specialty was defense.
You lit a forcefield in your left hand, using its faint blue light to guide the two of you through the dim hallways. It slowed all the bullets to a stop, causing them to drop to the floor harmlessly. There was something kind of poetic about it, you supposed. Steve was so famous for that shield of his, but now you were the shield, protecting him.
“Did you guys find anything in there?” Clint asked.
“The good news is, we cleared most of it out. Bad news is, Steve got shot with something. I’m bringing him back to the ship now. I don’t know what it was but he’s acting really drunk.”
“Tranq darts seem to have that effect on him, yeah.” Bruce explained. “Bring him back here and I’ll make sure it wasn’t laced with something else.”
“On it.”
You lugged Steve along, stopping to rest and readjust against a wall for a second.
“Thank you for takin’ care of me even when I don’t feel so good.” He said, leaning his full weight against you.
“Of course, Steve. I’ve got ya.” You pulled his arm around your shoulders again. “You would do the same for any of us.”
He smiled, face impossibly close to yours. “Oh, I’d do anything for you, (Y/N).”
You knew it was probably just the drugs talking but you’d be lying if you said it didn’t do something to you when he said it anyway.
Once you were outside, you opened a waypoint in front of the two of you, the second portal in front of the jet, and then stepped through, closing it behind you. Bruce opened the door and helped you haul Steve inside, onto the cot of the makeshift mobile infirmary.
You handed Bruce the empty vial.
“Thank you for remembering. Thor always breaks these and then I have to do bloodwork to figure out what was in them.” He chuckled.
“He’s very smash first, ask questions later.”
“No wonder he and Hulk get along so well.” Bruce joked. “Alright, get back out there. I’ll make sure he’s alright.”
“Thank you.”
“Be careful out there.” Steve advised, eyes half-lidded. “They have guns.”
“I’ll be extra careful, alright? I promise.” You met his eyes and he smiled immediately. Once you were sure he was okay, you stepped out of the jet again, getting back to help the others.
***
When you got back, you were nursing a bullet wound. They’d gotten you in the arm. It wasn’t too bad, though, the bleeding had almost stopped. Natasha went straight for the med kit when you two stepped foot on the jet, motioning you over to the stool.
Steve was there, still on the cot. He stared as Nat started cleaning your wound. “Wait, you got hurt?”
“I’m okay. It’s not that bad.”
He nodded and reached for your hand. “I’m really glad you’re alright, doll. Had me worried sick.”
Doll. You replayed the word in your mind. Steve had called you a lot of things in the past few months, but never once had he used that somewhat outdated term of endearment. You liked it, though.
You met Natasha’s eyes and she smirked while the supersoldier held your hand.
Sam walked in next, eyeing up the scene unfolding in front of him. “Woah, what’d I miss? Feels like I missed several chapters.”
“Steve is drunk.” Clint explained, counting his remaining arrows.
“Tranq dart. He’s fine. Just needs to ride it out for a few hours. He should be back to normal by the time we get home.” Bruce explained as he put away his tablet.
“You feeling alright, buddy?” Sam walked over and put a hand on Steve’s other arm. “You’re holding (Y/N)’s hand kinda tight there.”
“Huh?” Steve asked, directing his eyes to your joint hands. He let go. “Oh. Sorry.”
“It’s okay, Steve.” You reassured him.
The others trickled in slowly until everyone was accounted for, the base destroyed, the Hydra operatives in SHIELD custody for questioning. Fury and his team would handle it from there. You couldn’t help but play the mission over and over in your head.
Never had you used a waypoint to split something in half. But something had clicked in you when Steve was hurt. You’d never felt like that before, like part of your soul itself was being ripped out. He meant more to you than you cared to admit, especially when your fate was tied elsewhere.
Still, your new ability needed training. It was a dangerous skill to have, and if you didn’t hone it properly, you could end up doing some serious damage on accident.
Come Find Me in the Future
It was the night before you and a select group of the team were heading out to find and recover Bucky. Clint had finally gotten a hit on him. But if he had, that meant others could be after him, too. People that wanted him back. Badly.
You were nervous about it for that reason. You weren’t sure why the rest of you hadn’t already left, to be honest. You didn’t want to race with Hydra. It wasn’t one you were sure you’d win.
To stave off the feeling of dread, you had commandeered the living room TV and popped in Howl’s Moving Castle. You were nursing a mug of chamomile tea in your hands, playing games on your Switch.
You were near the end of the movie, at the part where Sophie was whisked to the past, when Steve walked into the room, in his pajamas, a tank top and a pair of plaid pants.
“Hey, Steve.”
“Hey. You’re up late. Big mission tomorrow.”
“Yeah, it’s almost over.” You told him. “Drinking my sleepy tea as we speak.”
“Sleepy tea?”
“Chamomile mint. It’s good. There’s some over by the Keurig if you want any.”
“Thanks.” He smiled, walking over. “What’s this?”
“Howl’s Moving Castle. One of my favorites.” You told him.
“What’s it about?”
“That is a complicated question.” You laughed. “I’d have to start it over, I think.”
“Another time, maybe.” He chuckled, crossing his arms.
Steve watched as Sophie got sucked back through the wormhole to the present.
She called out “I know how to help you now! Find me in the future!”
He perked up. “Wait, she…there’s time travel?”
“Yeah, she gets pulled into the past for a bit and tells him to find her and then years later, the first words he says to her are ‘There you are, sweetheart. I’ve been looking everywhere for you.’ It’s really sweet.”
“They’re soulmates?”
“They are.” You nodded.
“Does that happen? Often?” Steve asked, hung up on it. “In real life?”
“I don’t think so. I’ve never heard of that happening before.” You shook your head. “I don’t think anyone would believe it, even if it did. Happens a lot in fiction, though.”
“Oh. Cool.” Steve nodded. He met your eyes and then looked down at his lap, tongue flitting across his pink lips. “I, uh, wanted to apologize.”
You furrowed your eyebrows. “For what?”
“The mission last week. I, uh…I said some things and, uh…I just, I’d hate to make you uncomfortable. I’m sorry if I did.”
“You didn’t.” You assured him. “No apology necessary. You were drugged. I probably would have said worse, to be honest.”
He smiled. “Okay. Cool. Thanks. And thank you for agreeing to come tomorrow. We could really use the help.”
“Of course. I’ve got your back, always.” You told him, earning another one of those earnest, lovesick smiles. “Anywho, I finished that playlist for you. The Taylor Swift one. I can make you a more general one with different songs, but…figured that was a decent starting place.”
“Great, yeah, thank you.” He nodded, looking at his phone as it pinged with the notification you had sent it to him. “I’ll give it a listen.”
“Let me know what you think.”
“Oh I will.” He chuckled to himself. “Really, thank you. I appreciate it. And um, have a good night. See you tomorrow.”
“Bright and early.” You saluted.
He nodded before repeating, “Bright and early.”
Bygones
Bright and early was an understatement. The sun was barely peeking over the horizon when your alarm went off. You groaned, rolled over and silenced your screaming phone, forcing yourself to sit up so you didn’t drift back off.
Today was too important for that.
Instead, you got up, brushed your hair, and went out to the kitchen, where Vision had whipped up a full breakfast for everyone going out. It was you, Steve, Nat, Wanda, and Sam. A small team, but enough firepower to bring him back without overwhelming and/or scaring him off.
“Morning.” Steve said, eyes landing on you the moment you walked into the room.
“Morning.”
“Coffee?” He offered, pushing a cup of your favorite iced coffee over to you. You couldn’t lie, you were impressed.
“Thanks.” You grinned, taking a long sip to kickstart your morning. You loaded a plate up with eggs, sausage, bacon, and toast, plus a little side of hashbrowns, thanking Vision thoroughly.
“It is my pleasure, (Y/N). As someone who does not require sleep, it would be rude of me to let you all starve so early in the day.”
“(Y/N), you got him listening to Taylor Swift?” Sam asked, eyes drilling into you.
You laughed. “Uh, yeah. What about it? She’s a cultural icon, do you want him left out of the loop?”
“Hey, I’m not complaining.” Steve shrugged, sipping on his coffee.
“Of course you’re not.” Natasha chuckled, words warbled by her own cup. You noticed the way her lips pursed. If you weren’t mistaken, you’d say she was nervous. About what, you couldn’t tell. She seldom got nervous. Or at least, she seldom let it show. But it was definitely there.
Wanda was the last into the kitchen, already fully put together. She gave the chef her thanks with a warm smile and sparkling eyes. You couldn’t help but smile. Those two, beyond a shadow of a doubt, were absolutely made for each other. You wondered what her wrist would have to say about it when the time came.
Once everyone had eaten, those who weren’t suited up got ready, locked and loaded for a tense mission. You’d have Clint on the coms here, doing recon from a drone. The rest of you loaded up onto the jet, strapping in.
Nat and Sam hopped into the cockpit. Wanda sat next to you, Steve across the aisle, his eyes meeting yours every so often.
“It’ll be alright.” You said, trying to dispel his nerves.
He nodded, but didn’t reply, just giving a short nod and staring at the holographic map on the wall as you approached closer and closer. You could see that little guy from Brooklyn peeking through the eyes of the supersoldier sitting across from you, nervous about his best friend.
You unbuckled just before you landed, walking across the jet to strap on your weapons. The others did the same, arming themselves. Nat was going to keep the jet warm for a speedy exit, the look in her eyes still unreadable. The rest of you got ready for war.
It was an abandoned warehouse, large garage door, broken windows, slanted roof with a hole in it. Definitely not the most secure of places. According to Clint’s drone, Bucky was in the back room.
“Waypoint, I need you out here ready to get us a quick escape.”
“Got it.” You nodded, positioning yourself within eyeshot of the warehouse and the jet so you could make a portal either way.
“Wanda, Sam, you’re with me.” Steve instructed, taking a minute to breathe, to think. “He’s gonna be ready to run. We have to talk him out of it.”
“Uh, Cap. Might wanna work a little faster. There’s another plane incoming. About three minutes out.”
“Alright.” Steve nodded, taking off his helmet and slinging his shield onto his back. He led the other two into the building.
For a heartwrenching two minutes, you didn’t hear anything. And then you heard a plane. And then gunshots.
“(Y/N), now!” Steve instructed.
You did as you were told, opening the waypoint in the warehouse, another just outside. Nat had picked the jet up off of the ground, firing at the one Hydra had brought. She took another shot, damaging the wing and causing it to go down.
“Shit, wait—!”
There was a flash of light and you expected it to be Steve that came through first. Maybe Bucky, even. Instead, it was a grenade. And a split second later, it exploded, knocking you unconscious.
***
Steve stood over you, horrified. Thanks to your suit, the damage didn’t seem too bad. But you had blood and soot caked on your face, the ends of your hair singed.
It was his fault. He had told you to open the Waypoint, only for a Hydra agent to toss a grenade right through it.
He all but collapsed to his knees, collecting you in his arms. Bucky was on the jet already, Sam, too. Only he and Wanda were outside with you.
“(Y/N), come on. Open those eyes for me.” He pleaded, voice soft, eyes aching with tears. “Hey, come on. Please…”
“We should get her back to the jet.” Wanda goaded softly, a hand on Steve’s arm.
“Yeah.” Steve nodded, a tear slipping down his cheek. He scooped you off of the ground, an arm beneath your legs, the other around your back. Your arms hung down, limp. Your head rested heavily against his shoulder, eyes closed.
By the time Steve walked up the ramp, Nat already had the infirmary cot down, ready to go. Bucky watched, eyes intense. He looked up when Steve approached, eyes falling on you. They widened when he got a look at you.
“Woah, is that…?”
“Yeah.” Steve nodded. “It is.”
Natasha helped him get you situated in the cot, wrapping the cuff around your arm that would measure your vitals. With everyone accounted for, Sam closed the door, lifting the jet into the air.
“I’ve got Banner on the line.” Natasha told him.
“Good.” Steve’s eyes didn’t leave you for a second, watching as the breaths entered and left your lungs. “Tell him to get the infirmary ready for her.”
“Already on it, Cap. She’ll be okay. Her vitals look…well they look good, all things considered.” Bruce relayed. “Just get back here as fast as you can.”
***
As soon as the jet landed, Steve unhooked you from the vitals monitor and collected you in his arms, carrying you to the gurney Bruce had ready, walking with him as he wheeled you towards the infirmary. Bruce insisted he needed some time and sent Steve away, taking a piece of his heart with him.
Vision checked over Bucky, giving him the okay almost immediately before going to help Bruce in the infirmary.
Steve sat at the table, Bucky sitting down to join him. The others gave them a minute alone.
“Hey, pal.” Steve exhaled, trying to force a smile. “Glad you’re here.”
“Me too.” He agreed. “Thanks for coming to get me.”
“Of course.” Steve nodded. “I’m with you—”
“Til the end of the line.” Bucky smiled, eyes soft. His irises flicked towards the infirmary and back. “You wanna talk about it?”
Steve let out a sigh, the wall finally coming down and more tears slipping down his cheeks. “It’s my fault, it’s all my fault. She’s—”
“She’s gonna be fine. I promise you.” Bucky’s hand grabbed onto Steve’s wrist, the covered one. The one with her name etched onto it. “She has to be. Has she…does she know yet?”
“No one does. Just me. And you.” Steve confessed. He wiped his thumb under his eye. “So you’re right. She has to pull through.”
Steve held onto that spark of hope for the coming hours. He showed Bucky to the room that had been prepared for him, but Sam offered to give him a tour of the place, knowing their friend was in a fragile mental state.
Eventually, Vision found him and told him he could enter the infirmary. Bruce had finished treating you. When Steve walked in and saw you, still unconscious, laying on that bed, he choked on more sobs. The bruising on your face was pretty severe. You were hooked up to several monitors, an IV. Supposedly, your injuries were not too extreme, but you had a cracked rib and would need time to heal before you could do any missions or training.
Hours later, Nat found Steve in there, wringing his hands, tears in his eyes. He fiddled with the cuff around his wrist. The playlist you’d made for him played softly from a speaker in the corner of the room. Timeless. As if he wasn’t already crying enough.
“She’s gonna be okay, Steve. Bruce thinks she might wake up soon.” Nat comforted, sitting in the chair next to him. She put a hand on his shoulder, confused by her friend’s sudden mood. Members of the team had been injured before and sure, he checked on them, but he never reacted like this.
“I know, I just…” He shook his head. “I’m worried about her is all. It’s…kinda my fault this happened.”
Nat pressed her lips together, tilting her head. “This seems like a little more than that. You wanna tell me what’s really going on?”
He wanted to hold onto his secret. He did. But he was feeling fragile, vulnerable. It couldn’t hurt to have just one more person on his side. “I can, just…not here.” Steve nodded, leading her out of the room, out of your earshot, if you could even hear him while you were out, but still in sight thanks to the soundproof windows.
Nat’s hands settled on her hips, waiting for an answer. Instead, Steve took the cuff off of his wrist and held it out to her, letting her read the letters that had been etched there for the better part of a century.
Her jaw dropped. She stammered, arms crossing. She met his eyes and when she saw the sadness there, the guilt and longing, her expression softened.
“I should have told her. A long time ago, I should have told her but I can’t. In six months, on her twenty-fifth, she’s going back in time to 1943 to meet me on mine. And it…didn’t seem like she knew until she was already there.”
“So you’ve just been holding it in this whole time?” Natasha asked. “You’ve been in love with her…”
“Since the forties, yeah.” Steve nodded. “My great lost love, as Tony likes to call her when he rags on the band I wear.”
“Does he know?”
“No. Just you. And Bucky.” Steve amended. “He was there when she…”
“Right. Weird.” Natasha let out a long sigh, looking through the window. Her fingers reached for her own cuff. She hesitated, but pulled it off, holding her soulmark out to him. “Fair is fair.”
Steve stared at the letters for a long time, realization slowly filling his eyes. The name on her wrist was none other than James Buchannan Barnes. “Oh my God.”
“I didn’t know how to tell you until all the dust settled, but it just settled, so…” She shrugged, putting the cuff back on. “I’ll figure out how to tell him, too, if he doesn’t know already.”
“Buck’s mark was grayed out back then. We thought…well, we didn’t know what it meant.” Steve said, shaking his head. It was the reason Bucky had dated around so much back then. He’d figured if he just found someone else, his mark would change and he wouldn’t have to be alone. Never could he have guessed what it actually meant, that his soulmate wouldn’t be born for another forty or so years. “And then he lost his arm…”
“Yeah, that part I did know.” She smirked. “Well, I’ll keep an eye on her. Let you know if she says anything you need to hear.”
“She probably thinks my soulmate is dead, too. Everyone else does.”
“Ironic.”
“No kidding.” Steve sighed, gazing longingly through the window.
“We’ll get you through it, Steve. You’ve waited seventy years. Six months is nothing.”
“Yeah. I’m gonna sit with her for a while. I don’t want her to wake up alone.”
He slinked back into the infirmary and sat in the chair beside your bed, watching your steady breaths and listening to the beeping of the heart monitor. Natasha watched him through the window, feeling lighter and heavier at the same time. Nevertheless, she was glad they had talked. At least now, they could be there for each other.
Vol. 2 Here
Tags: @cap-lu20
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nicodisigma · 2 months
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solangelo headcanons part 2 cause im still in hospital and bored
Nico is always using his phone with two hands and only writes messages with pointing finger of his right hand. He’s too much of an old hag to learn otherwise.
Will gives him forehead kiss every time Nico thinks he’s making fun of him because of this (Will is just smiling both with his lips and eyes at this).
They watch Eurovision every year and even shadow travel to the arena in finals.
Willy in new italian jersey every year.
“Willy”
Tuta gold was Nico Sanremo pick. (He’s simping for Mahmood).
Wills was Sinceramente obviously.
Youngest cabin 7 campers feel extremely safe with Nico and always run to him first when there is danger nearby.
Nico is CHB’s best libero (he’s taking national sport of italy seriously).
Will is better as cente in volleyball cause he’s tall and has good aim as Apollo kid.
Will hates sleeping next to Nico without cuddling him cause touching his skin makes him sure Nico is not faking that he’s okay. (He can easily feel blood pressure, temperature etc.)
Nico sleeps better with someone quite heavy on his chest.
They are both good with kids and would probably adopt a little girl one day.
Estelle’s best babysitters.
Smol campers often come up to Nico with comb and hair bands and ask him to braid their hair. Especially smol cabin 7 girls.
Nico is a qualified lap sitter during late evening drinking-on-patio-sessions.
Nico nipple piercing haver (he’s just like me fr) and Will biggest nipple piercing enjoyer.
i’ve been in this fandom 6 years and never used tumblr properly now im unstoppable, sorry if im spamming the hashtag with dumb shit
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sara-scribbles · 1 year
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Melting the Dragon King's Heart (Part 1)
Fandom: Twisted Wonderland Malleus Draconia/F!Reader Summary: After falling down some stairs, you wake up in the body of a villain from one of Idia's cheesy romance books. Destined to die a fiery death, you have to figure out a way to change your fate. Word Count: 6,974 Notes: I've been reading a lot of isekai lately, which sparked this story. Hope you enjoy! Warnings: Mentions of past physical and emotional abuse, reader uses she/her pronouns
Part 1 Part 2, Part 3
“The person you are trying to call is unavailable. Please leave your message after the beep. After, you may…” Letting out a deep sigh, you wait for the message to finish.
“Hey, Idia, it’s me. I know you’re probably gaming right now, but I wanted to let you know I’ll be dropping by later today.” You pause before darting across the street. You nearly get hit by a car but make it on the sidewalk unscathed.
“Anyways, I finished ‘Melting the Dragon King’s Heart’ and that was the cringiest thing I’ve read! I’ll give you the full review when I come over.”
Ending the call, you shake your head at the phone screen. You head down the stairs to the subway while shooting Idia another text. Not watching where you’re going, your foot misses a step and you're sent careening down the stairs.
“Watch out!” a voice shouts.
---
You black out momentarily before regaining consciousness. Something feels off but you can’t quite place what. Your head pounds and your body aches. You can hear muffled voices.
Eyes opening, unfamiliar faces stare down at you. “Your highness?” someone asks.
Sitting up, you reach for your head but freeze when you realize that isn’t your hand. “Please be careful, your highness.”
Slowly studying the hand, you wave it around. You ignore the whispers and looks. You slowly reach your face, but it doesn’t feel like your face. Looking further down, you notice the clothes you’re wearing are completely different.
“W-what’s going on?” You slap a hand over your mouth. Definitely not your voice.
An elderly man leans down. “You fell off your horse, your highness. Are you feeling okay?”
You stare at him, before pointing to yourself. “A-are you talking to me?”
His brows draw together as he gives a concerned glance behind you. “You took quite a tumble so you might be a little out of sorts.”
He reaches to help you up, but you jerk away. Standing on your own, your head continues to throb painfully. You push past the group of people. You’re not sure where you're going, but your feet seem to know. Your brain is too scrambled to even notice your surroundings. Rushing down hallways and past other people, you enter into a room and lock the door.
Your gaze immediately falls on the full length mirror. As you slowly approach, the reflection in the mirror is not your own. You touch the cold surface and so does the image. Reaching up, you slap your cheeks a few times, the image does too. Your face stings.
“What the hell!?” And then your headache intensifies. You crumble to the floor clutching your head. Memories that aren’t yours flood your mind before you blackout once more.
---
You can’t believe you’re in Idia’s horrible isekai novel. Worse, you’re in the body of the secondary villain! She wasn’t very important to the story besides a vehicle to drive the plot. She didn’t even get a name. The story was from the protagonist's point of view, so you learned very little of the queen. In the end, she and her family died a fiery death after their nefarious plans to control the dragon king, Malleus Draconia, were uncovered by the protagonist.
Based on her memories, her marriage to the dragon king was six months ago. So, you had six more months before the arrival of the protagonist. Which also meant you had half a year before you’d be burned to death. You had no plans on dying. Again.
Crawling out of bed, you head to the connected bath. The maids had drawn a hot bath. Glancing in the bathroom mirror, you get a flash of her back. Old and newer scars crisscross the expanse of skin. The first time you saw them, you were flooded with horrible memories. Memories of a younger version crying while being beaten within an inch of her life. You tried to stay away from mirrors as much as possible.
Being the secondary villain, she isn’t really what you’d call evil. In the story, she came off like an emotionless puppet. The queen has a unique magic that can turn someone’s heart to ice, which allows her to control them. Ironic really. From what you remember from the story, the dragon king is too powerful, so her unique magic didn’t work right away. Over the course of a year, she uses her magic on him everyday. This causes him to become distant and easier to manipulate. When she’s almost successful, the king meets the protagonist, who immediately melts his frozen heart. It’s honestly so cliche, you had a hard time getting to the end. When you read the story, you felt nothing for the villains.
Having the queen’s memories, you feel bad for her. Her entire life was dictated by her parents, the duke and duchess. From what she wore to what she ate to what kind of instrument she played, it was chosen for her. Any sense of rebellion was quickly beaten out of her from a young age. She was molded into the perfect puppet that her parents could control. She had no say in the plan. From what you can tell, she didn’t even have any feelings about the king. Or anything for that matter.
Truly a sad villain.
After being found passed out on the floor, you were put on strict bed rest for a few days. According to the doctors the fall from the horse caused the queen to stop breathing for a few minutes. You wonder if at that time she had died, you had somehow entered her body. It didn’t feel like you’re sharing the body with anyone. The only thing left behind are her memories and lingering emotions.
During the mandatory bedrest, you hatched a plan. You need to get the dragon king to be your ally. Sure he’s technically this body’s - your body now - husband, but at this point in time, he’s become very distant because of her magic. You would stop using the magic on him, and hopefully he would return to normal. Then, when the protagonist shows up, they can take down the real villains. You’d have an amicable divorce and live the rest of your life out in peace.
Taking a deep breath, you steel yourself. Operation save yourself from certain fiery death starts now!
---
“Your highness, are you feeling better?” the old butler, Diablo, from before asks. He sets down a tea tray. Having been with the Draconia family for ages, he’s assigned to watch over the queen.
“Yes, my head doesn’t hurt anymore. The delicious food helps.” If there’s one thing you like about this new life, it’s the food. You could stuff your face with food and never be tired.
The salt-and-pepper haired man pauses but quickly collects himself. He pours another cup of tea while you finish up breakfast. “I’m glad to see you’ve gained a healthy appetite.”
Pausing mid-bite, you remember that the queen only picked at her food. Her memories often depicted a somber scene while she ate by herself. No talking or eye contact was ever made. She never bothered to hide her disinterest.
When you read the book, you didn’t feel too bad for the queen. The author barely wrote about her except when the story needed to continue. Perhaps that’s why you didn’t like the story. The queen was a lackluster villain while her parents were almost cartoonishly evil. The protagonist had been a little better, but still somewhat flat. However, you assumed the appeal was the sweet romance between the two. The romance was actually kind of cute. Speaking of romance, you have yet to see the dragon king in person.
“Your highness?” Diablo brought you from your thoughts.
“Hmm?” You realize your teacup is empty. “Did I drink that?”
He nods. “Yes, your highness. You were deep in thought while taking sips.”
You’re surprised you didn’t dribble any on you. Maybe it’s all due to the rigorous etiquette training the queen had gone through. “Is there anything I have planned today?”
“Not today, your highness.”
Great, you have the whole day to do whatever you want. “Diablo, where is the king?”
“In his study. He’s been up before the crack of dawn,” he informs you.
Thanks to her memories, you know exactly where his study is. You also know she never bothers him until she has to use her magic. However, now that this is your life, you plan to do whatever it takes to save yourself from dying.
“Thank you, Diablo.” Leaving the dining hall, you head to your dear husband’s study. Diablo follows a few paces behind.
“Are you planning to visit his highness?” he inquires.
He’s always with you. “Yes. I thought we could spend some time together.” Glancing behind you, his face is a neutral mask.
He merely nods when he meets your gaze. “An excellent idea, your highness.”
Arriving at the door to his study, you knock. There’s no answer. “Are you sure he’s here?”
“Yes. He rarely leaves his study until lunch time, your highness. Would you like me to check?” He gestures to the door.
“No, that’s okay. I can do it.” Grabbing the handle, you pull the door open. The room is mostly dark due to the curtains being drawn closed. Stepping inside, your eyes adjust to the gloom.
Malleus Draconia is an intimidating figure. Even sitting down he seems to tower over everything. His inky black hair contrasts with his pale skin. His most characteristic trait are the obsidian colored horns on his head. They gleam even in the low light. The lamp on his desk casts shadows on the bookshelf behind him. He’s very fitting for a male lead.
He doesn’t make a move to look up from his work. “Is there something wrong, Diablo?”
The old butler clears his throat. “No, your majesty.”
“I came to see you.” You paste on a smile though it’s a lot more work than you thought. It’s as if this face has never smiled, which wouldn’t be a surprise.
Malleus does look up when you speak. For a brief second his eyes widen before his brows draw together. “Is there something wrong, my queen?” His gaze remains dull. His eyes are like the color of old, dried leaves.
Stepping forward so you’re standing in front of his desk, you shake your head. “Nothing is wrong. Do I need a reason to visit you?”
His expression smooths. He has a cool, detached look. “Of course not. This palace is your home, you are allowed to go wherever you want. Do you need something?”
Clasping your hands together, you lean closer. “I was wondering if we could do something together. Once you’re done with everything, of course.”
He returns back to the paperwork. “I don’t know if I’ll have time. There’s a lot of things I need to do. And the war with the Queendom of Roses takes precedence…”
You blink twice. “War?”
“Yes. Your father had mentioned how the Queendom has been encroaching on his territory. He says they’re looking to take over more and more of Briar Valley. We should act before they even have a chance,” he explains.
Well this is the first you’ve heard of a war. However, if memory serves your right, your parents had invested interest in the land bordering the Queendom of Roses. Your home is a small land squished between two mighty kingdoms. Though not technically royalty, your parents are basically the rulers. They wanted to expand, but couldn’t. Unless…a war breaks out somehow. Compared to the Queendom, Briar Valley is far superior in magical combat. You’re pretty sure all Malleus has to do is wave his hand to annihilate the country off the map if he so wished.
Chewing on your lip, you wonder if there’s anything you can do to prevent this. You’d rather not let your so-called parents win anything. “How about we have lunch in the garden later?”
His hand pauses in writing. “You wish to eat together?” he asks, not looking up.
“Yes, I’d like to.” You’re determined to spend some time with him. Your life is at stake!
“Alright.” He returns back to writing.
Inwardly giving yourself a pat on the back, you flash him a smile even though he can’t see it. “I’ll see then, your majesty.”
Leaving the office, Diablo quietly closes the door. “Where can I find more information about the Queendom of Roses?”
“We can start at the royal library. I’m sure the head librarian can help find what you’re looking for.” Diablo leads the way.
---
You're late for lunch. Getting lost in the research about the Queendom of Roses, you forgot the time. Thankful Diablo came to remind you. Rushing to the gardens with an armful of papers and a few books, you easily navigate your way through the maze of the palace thanks to the former body’s memories.
Arriving, you immediately spy Malleus waiting at the table. Food is set out along with a tea cart. He looks utterly bored. However, he seems to perk up a bit as you come closer. Diablo immediately pulls out the chair for you to sit.
“Sorry I’m late! I got so lost in reading that I didn’t realize the time.” You place the books and papers on the table.
“What’s all this?” he asks, gesturing to the mess.
Trying to make a neater pile, you tap the top of one book. “I’ve been doing some research on the Queendom of Roses. And I don’t think going to war with them would be beneficial.”
“Oh?” He leans back, interest sparking his usual dull green eyes.
Opening one of the books with a map, you point to the page. “The Queendom of Roses is rich in natural resources when it comes to crops. A war would most likely ruin the land, and even magic wouldn’t be able to bring it back to what it once was.”
You rifle through your papers before finding the one you want. Placing it over the book, you continue, “Briar Valley lacks in certain resources when it comes to agriculture. We could make a trade agreement with the Queendom for their crops. It would greatly benefit the people.”
Malleus ponders your words. “And what of them encroaching on your country?”
“They have no need to expand nor do they have the power to do so.” You gesture to another book. “I doubt it’s on purpose.”
He stares at you. “So, are you saying your father lied? Was he trying to spark a fight between us and another country?”
Biting your tongue, you resist the urge to spill the truth. “I’m sure he was overreacting. Being such a small country, father takes the people’s safety as utmost. But I do think a war would be a waste of resources, time, and lives.”
Diablo clears the table of your things before serving lunch. Malleus eyes you curiously. “You’re sure about this?”
“Yes,” you answer firmly without hesitation.
Picking up a fork, he spears a tomato slice. “Alright. We won’t go to war with the Queendom.” He turns to Diablo, “Let Lilia know to stand down. I’ll work on drafting a proposal to the Queendom later.”
The butler bows before leaving. You let out a deep sigh but straighten up when you realize Malleus is watching you. “Thank you, your majesty.” You’re glad he didn’t fight you on this. Though maybe due to the queen’s magic, he’s too apathetic to care.
“Somethings changed about you,” he muses aloud. You stiffen as panic starts to build. “Are you feeling well?” he inquires.
“I’m fine, your majesty.” You try to smile convincingly but it probably looks more like a grimace.
“I heard you fell off your horse a few days ago. No lingering aches or pains?” he probes. Why’s he suddenly interested? He didn’t visit once while you were on bedrest.
You stab a carrot. “I feel fine. I did some thinking and decided I wanted to take a more active role. I am the queen, so I should be doing more.” The lie slips easily off your tongue.
He’s quiet for a moment. “I see…”
---
For the rest of the day, you try your best to read into the current situation of Briar Valley. It seems the queen didn’t bother with anything related to politics. All she seemed to do was sit in her room until she was needed. You had many memories of staring blankly at a wall or something equally mundane.
You know there’s probably rumors of how the queen seems to be a different person. One of the maids had mumbled something about the fall knocking her brain around. You could care less what they said as long as you managed to change your fate. Knowing the situation of the country you supposedly co-ruled is a good start.
At least it doesn’t seem like your parents are causing too much trouble. Beyond trying to instigate a war with the Queendom of Roses, they’ve been quiet. Perhaps they’re waiting for the queen’s magic to take hold before doing anything drastic. If your plan works, they’ll be in jail soon.
You’re curled up in bed with a thick history book about Briar Valley. Having taken out a few books from the royal library, your room is starting to look like a mess with the books all over the place. You know the basics about the country from her lessons, but you want to go more in depth. It’s best to know everything you can.
There’s a knock at the door that links to Malleus’s room. Out of habit you glance around for the digital clock at your bedside. But it’s not there. “Of course…”
During your isolation in the bedroom, you found out from her memories that Malleus and the queen do not share a bed. Instead they each have their own rooms, which are connected by a door. However, the queen keeps her door locked. The only time it’s unlocked is when Malleus comes over for an hour before bed every other week. She had made up some excuse about wanting to spend a little time with him before bed. It’s the dumbest excuse you’ve heard but somehow he bought it.
Maybe he wanted to please the queen? Maybe he really is that naive about what couples do? Whatever the reason for him to agree to this ritual, it had made it easier for the queen to cast her magic.
Slipping out of bed, you unlock the door. Malleus stands there in casual clothes. He doesn’t look ready for sleep, but he does tend to stay up late from what Diablo said. You have to bite back the smile when you notice the black dragon slippers on his feet. Very dignified.
“Uh… hi…” This is certainly awkward. “The room’s a little messy, but the bed’s mostly clear.”
Malleus glances around, his eyes landing on the book you had been reading. “History of Briar Valley?”
You lead him to the bed. He sits at the edge of the bed while you scoot closer to the middle. You draw your legs up to your chest. Without asking, he holds out his hand. “Just some light reading,” you joke as you take his hand.
“...”
“...”
You really can’t just sit there in silence for an hour holding his hand. “Where’d you get those slippers?” you ask suddenly.
He blinks slowly while looking down. “Lilia gave them to me for my birthday last year. He said a king shouldn’t walk around barefoot.”
Very reasonable. “They’re cute.”
“Thank you. Would you like a pair?”
“Um, sure.” His hand is surprisingly comfortable to hold.
He nods. “I will ask Lilia to order once he returns.”
“...”
“...”
You glance at your discarded book. “Do you mind if I read?” You aren’t sure how she was able to sit for an hour staring off into space. This is too weird!
He shakes his head. “Go ahead.”
Grabbing the book with your free hand, you adjust your position and place it on your lap. As you return to reading, you can almost forget Malleus is next to you. Almost. A few times you can feel his intense stare, but when you look back, he’s looking at the far wall.
You’re only a few chapters in when he clears his throat. Looking up, he opens his mouth, but then closes it. “Yes?” You wait patiently for him to gather his words.
“The book mentioned the war with the old fae, but it’s wrong,” he informs you after a pause.
“It is?” You glance down at the date. “This took place almost a thousand years ago. Don’t tell me you were there?” Fae are long lived creatures, but you don’t think Malleus is that old.
He shakes his head. “No. Lilia would sometimes tell me stories from when he was in the army. I remember everything he said clearly. The war did not start the way the book states. Though I assume the author could only speculate since most don’t know the truth.”
“How did it start?” You lean closer, interested to hear what he has to say.
“Well…”
---
“...and then everything went up in flames.”
“No!” Eyes widen as your mouth falls open.
“Unfortunately, yes. I hate to admit it, but my control on my flames was not that good.” He sighs, covering his face with his free hand.
Chuckling, you give his hand an involuntary squeeze. “You were young. It’s not like you meant to set everything on fire.”
“That’s true, but for a long time I wasn’t allowed to do anything related to fire.” His lips quirk upward while you try and fail to cover your laughter.
“I-I’m not laughing at you. I just had an image of a smaller version of you.” Your shoulders shake. “I’d love to see a picture of when you were younger.” You can just see a small Malleus pouting while being told he’s not allowed to use his flames.
“I believe there’s a few portraits that were done when I was younger. They’ve been put away, but they should be in the royal storehouse,” he says thoughtfully.
Having calmed down, you shake your head. “Too bad there’s no candid photos of you…”
“Hmm?” He peers at you. “Is seeing a younger version of myself really that interesting?”
You flash him a quick smile. “Of course. Seeing a mini version of you would be so interesting. I’m sure you were very cute,” you tease.
He doesn’t seem to know how to take your comment. Staring at you blankly, his hold on your hand tightens slightly for a second. “Cute?”
“Well, I mean you look…you look, um, nice now. So it’s easy to assume you’d be a cute kid.” Now you’re starting to feel a bit embarrassed.
“I see… So that means you were also cute as a child,” he says in all seriousness.
Did he just give a compliment? You’re unsure what to say. Eyes darting around the room, you clear your throat. “Right. I think we’ve gone over time.” You immediately release his hand.
Malleus straightens up. “I’m sorry.”
He almost looks hurt. You quickly wave off his worry. “No need to apologize! I shouldn’t keep you.”
Standing, you follow Malleus to the door. You catch a glimpse of his dark room. “Good night, your majesty.”
“Good night…” He glances back as the door closes. You turn the lock in place with a click.
Heading to bed, you lay there surrounded by many pillows. A feeling of loneliness settles deep in your chest. You wonder how Idia and everyone else has taken the news of your death.
---
You let out a cough as dust billows out from the curtains. The once gloomy study at least looks a little better with natural light. The queen has her own study across from Malleus’s, but she never used it. It overlooks the garden below. You decided it would be a good place for you to work. And having so many books in your bedroom is starting to be a little too much.
“I do apologize for the dust, your highness. If you want, I can fetch someone to do a quick clean,” Diablo offers.
Wiping a finger along the desk, you note the layer of dust. “I think that would be for the best. While someone cleans up here, I’m going to gather the materials from my room.” The butler bows before leaving.
Leaving the study door open, you go back to your room. Gathering all the books and papers into a stack, you eye the leaning tower. You could make a few trips to ensure nothing will fall. But the less trips you have to make, the quicker you can get down to business.
Carrying the precarious tower of books while tucking the papers under one arm, you walk slowly down the hall. A few maids stop and offer to help, but you wave them off. You’re fairly certain you can handle this.
You’re nearly there when the papers from under your arm slip out. Narrowing your eyes, you shift the balance of the books to one hand. Slowly squatting, you reach out your free hand to try and pick up the papers while keeping an eye on the stack.
“Come on…” Your fingers brush against the papers. “There!” And the tower of books wobbles dangerously. “Don’t you dare…” Unfortunately the books do not listen and the stack tilts over.
But before they can fall, they start to float. Staring at the sight, the rest fly out of your hand. Realizing now that you’re not alone, you finally notice Malleus standing outside his study. He waves his hands and the books fly over to him. They stack neatly while floating at his side.
He gestures to the books. “It seemed that you needed help.”
Picking up the papers, you sigh. “Thank you. I thought I could make it…”
He follows you into the study. “You’ve decided to use the office,” he mumbles aloud. He sets the books on the now clean desk.
“I thought it would be better than my bedroom. And the view is nice,” you explain with a chuckle. “Since you’re across the way, feel free to visit.”
Malleus takes in the nearly empty room. Since the queen had never used it, there were no personal items. He turns back to you. “Do you want to write up the proposal for the Queendom of Roses?”
You owlishly blink. “M-me?”
“Yes. You are the one who came up with the idea. It would only be appropriate for you to draw up the proposal.”
Sure you had all her memories of how to be a proper queen. But she had never done any of her duties. Instead they were all dumped on Mallues. From her memories, he never said a word. He left the queen alone to do what she wanted.
Nervously licking your lips, you slowly nod. “I’ll try my best…”
“I can look over it once you're done,” he offers.
“Okay… Right, let me just start working on this.” Scrambling around your desk, you start shuffling through the papers. Malleus leaves you to your work.
---
Pouring through books on treaties and negotiations, you attempt to draft up a proposal. Diablo provides you with a few old proposals that were made back in the day. You also try to keep in mind the etiquette the Queendom of Roses has. They have a lot of rules; eight-hundred and ten to be exact.
If you want the proposal to be accepted, you need to ensure you’re following all their rules as well. It’s honestly ridiculous, but you’re determined to get this done right. If you can do this and show Malleus you’re capable, it’s bound to make you more favorable in his eyes. All you need is for him to think of you favorably by the time the protagonist shows up.
You crumble up another sheet of paper and toss it on the floor. The proposal writing isn’t going very well. Letting out a deep, frustrated sigh, you set down your pen. “Diablo, what time is it?”
“It’s nearly five, your highness,” he answers right away. You hear him snap the cover of his pocket watch closed. He comes in and out of your office offering tea and snacks. “Perhaps, it’s time you take a break,” he advises.
Groaning, you stand up. “Fine!” You probably sound like a child, but you wanted to get this done as soon as possible. However, you’ve barely made a dent.
“Might I suggest a walk in the garden to clear your head?” He bows. “The weather is lovely and some sun will do you good, your highness.”
Following his advice, you head out to the garden. It really is a beautiful place. Inhaling deeply, you feel some tension leave your body. “Mhmm! You’re right, Diablo. I needed this.”
The old butler bows. “I’m glad my suggestion is helping.”
You continue your leisurely walk through the gardens. There’s still something bothering you about this marriage. Your country is much smaller and weaker compared to Briar Valley. In regards to value, Briar Valley got the short end of the deal. And based on what you remember in the book, Malleus had no feelings for the queen. His one true love would be the protagonist. So why on earth did he agree to the marriage in the first place? The author never explained it.
“Your highness?” Diablo’s voice brings you out of your thoughts.
“Hmm?” He gestures to Malleus, who had at some point shown up. “Oh! Hello, your majesty.”
Malleus looks surprised to see you. “I did not expect to see you here.”
Right, because the queen usually spent her days locked in her room. “I just needed some air. I’ve been working on the proposal but haven’t had much luck.”
He nods. “I see.” You watch as his eyes dull and his face falls back into a stoic expression. The queen’s unique magic is still in effect. “If you need help, I’m sure there are some old proposals Diablo can find for you to use as samples.”
“He’s already done that. I think I just need more time to wrap my head around it.” You can only hope the unique magic effects will wear off eventually. “What brings you out here?”
Mallues holds up a watering can. “I wanted to tend to the roses.” You realize now that he’s actually dressed down. “I know we have the gardeners to take care of everything, but I do like to tend to the roses once and awhile,” he continues. “I haven’t felt up to the task recently, but today seems like a nice day.”
The image of the regal king of Briar Valley taking care of flowers pops into your head unbidden. It’s actually quite a heart warming image. “I didn’t realize you had a green thumb,” you joke. He really doesn’t seem the type to get down and dirty.
Head tilting slightly, he regards you coolly. “There’s a lot of things I like to do. I guess we just haven’t had much time to learn about each other.” There’s no maliciousness in his words, but it still hurts. And even though you know it’s not your fault, you still feel a bit bad.
“I guess we’ve been busy…” you respond lamely. Sighing, you look over to Diablo, but he’s busy minding his own business. “Do you mind if I…if I help?”
“If you want to.” He hands you the watering can. “I’ll do some pruning over there. You can start watering them over in that area.” He’s all business as he directs you.
Despite not being dressed properly for garden work, you don’t comment. Watering plants is fairly easy compared to pruning. As you silently water the plants, you watch Mallues from the corner of your eye. He’s laser focused as he works quickly and efficiently. He’s obviously done this a lot.
By the time you're done, you're sweating, dirty and exhausted. Your clothes are smeared with dirt from the times you leaned a bit too close. Wiping your forehead with the back of your hand, you can feel the fatigue in your body. The queen never did hard work, and you can tell just by how raw your hands feel. Gripping the watering can so much had caused the skin to blister and break.
“Your highness, I believe it would be best to go inside and rest,” Diablo called. The old butler had hovered around you with concern, but you had waved him off. You were determined to get this done without any help. Anything to get on Malleus’s good side.
You can feel the sweat clinging to you like a second skin. “I think you’re right…” you huff. The sun continues to shine down rather harshly as you peer up. “I think I need a bath,” you mumble.
Swaying as you walk, you stumble a few times. Diablo is by your side immediately. “Your highness!”
“Damn this body,” you mutter. Your vision is blurry as Diablo’s voice fades in and out. “I need a nap, Diab-” Then everything goes black.
---
When you wake, your body no longer feels like lead. You sit up in bed. Someone had changed you out of your clothes and into something clean. Panic settles in unbidden at the thought of someone seeing your - the queen’s - back. It’s something she wanted to keep hidden from everyone. Even if she’s no longer in the body, her emotions still linger. Some are stronger than others. This particular topic is a sensitive one.
“You’re awake, your highness.” Diablo stands from his seat in the corner of your room. Your head whips around in his direction.
“Who changed me?” you ask, not bothering to beat around the bush.
Standing at your bedside, he bows. “I did.”
The silence stretches on. Then, “Did you…?”
“I did not see anything, your highness,” he responds smoothly.
Your body relaxes. “Okay.”
Standing up straight, he adjusts his jacket. “Your highness, if you ever wish to talk, know that I am here. Whatever you say to me remains confidential. From everyone.”
A small smile forms on your lips. “Thank you, Diablo.”
Diablo nods. “His majesty wanted to know once you woke up. I will get him.” Giving one last bow, he leaves your room. After a few minutes, Malleus sweeps into the room and to your side.
He suddenly drops down on one knee and bows his head. “I’m sorry.”
“Pl-please stand, your majesty!” You wave your hands around uselessly.
Looking up, there’s something different in his gaze. “I should have realized you aren’t used to working outside like that. Instead of watching out for you like a good husband, I ignored you. Please forgive me.”
Reaching over, you try to push his shoulders to stand, but he does not budge. “Your majesty, I am fine. It’s partially my fault as well. I shouldn’t have pushed myself when I knew I needed rest.” Hands falling on your lap, you sigh. “Please stand, Malleus.”
That seems to have an effect. He slowly stands up. “Still, I should have checked in on you. I promise this won’t happen again.”
Patting the bed, you gesture for him to sit. He perches himself precariously on the edge. “I don’t mind helping with the roses. I want to spend more time with you doing things like this,” you tell him. “You’re right that we barely spend time together, so I’d like to remedy that.” You take his hand in your own.
He’s silent as he stares at your connected hands. Then, “I’d like that as well.”
There’s a comfortable silence between you two. Holding his hand feels comfortable. And dear you say his hand feels safe? It’s a strange feeling but not unwelcome. You feel closer to him now.
“What do you want to do?” he asks suddenly.
You manage to pull your gaze from your interlocked hands. “What?”
He runs his thumb over your knuckles absentmindedly. “You said you want to spend more time together. What did you want to do?”
“Right now?” He nods. “Uh…I don’t think my body can do much.” You look around before your eyes fall on a stack of books. “I was planning on reading a few of Briar Valley’s folklores. Do you want to read together?” It’s rather boring but you really don’t want to move.
Malleus gets up to grab the books. You scoot over to make room for him. He hesitates. “Come on. I promise I won’t bite.”
Sitting on the bed while propped up against the headboard, he hands you the books. “Lilia has read these to me before. But it’s been a long time,” he comments.
“It’ll be a refresher for you and something new for me.” Sharing the book between you two, you flip open to the first story. “Once upon a time…”
---
As promised, you spend a little more time with Malleus. You don’t do anything too exciting like little walks through the garden or reading together. The latter he seems to enjoy a lot. Sometimes he would pop into your office just to check-in. He even starts showing up for breakfast and dinner.
Honestly, it felt strange at first seeing him so often, but you quickly got used to it. And it’s nice to be able to talk with someone else besides Diablo.
“Diablo, where is Malleus?” you ask, setting down your pen. Stretching, your body feels stiff from sitting so long.
“He’s on the training grounds.” Taking the proposal in hand, you leave your office. “Master Lilia has returned with knights Silver and Sebek.”
You pause in your walk. Brief, blurry images of these three people emerge from the queen’s memories. It seems that she didn’t have many memories of these three. “Returned from?”
“They went on a mission in regards to the Queendom of Roses,” Diablo explains. “Since a possible war with them has been called off, there is no need for master Lilia to continue. I’m sure Sebek is thrilled to be back at his highness’s side.” Diablo chuckles while shaking his head.
Continuing your walk to the training grounds, you wonder what they’re like. Since the queen didn’t have any interactions with them, you’re going to meet them for the first time. From the brief information she had, the two knights are meant to protect Malleus. Master Lilia was Malleus’s caretaker from when he was a baby.
As you come to the outdoor training grounds, you can hear the murmur of voices. Malleus stands with the three Diablo mentioned. They seem to be having a good time as he even cracks a smile. At least the queen’s magic is weakening.
Sensing your presence, Malleus turns to you. His eyes immediately fall on the paper in your hands. “Have you finished the proposal?”
“Yup. I wanted you to check it.” Holding out the paper, he starts reading. You notice the other three are staring at you. “Hello…”
Silver and Sebek bow. “Your highness,” they say in unison.
Lilia’s gaze darts between you and Malleus. He smiles slyly. “It’s nice to see you two talking and getting along,” he says aloud.
“Hmm…” Malleus makes a noncommittal noise as he finishes reading the proposal. “It’s not bad. There are a few things I believe you can change, but it’s a good proposal overall. I’ll leave the edits in your office tomorrow.”
If there weren’t people around, you would've patted yourself on the back. “Thank you, Malleus!”
“Hrrk?!” Sebek makes a noise in the back of his throat.
You glance over at him as he tries to compose himself. Continuing, “I also think that once we send the proposal, we should do it the way the Queendom of Roses would.”
“That sounds like a good idea.” Malleus nods thoughtfully. “What are their customs?”
Ticking off the rules on your fingers, “We need to send two messengers on white horses. Each messenger should wear a red rose on their lapel. It must be before or after noon time as the queen typically takes tea then.” Your nose scrunches as you recall all the rules you read.
“They’re rules are unusual,” Malleus murmurs. “But I’m sure this will help better our stance with the queen of hearts.”
“That’s what I hope. Anyways, I’m going to finish up some of the other paperwork. I’ll see you for dinner?” You usually don’t ask since he’s been joining you for breakfast and dinner as of late. However, you want him to catch up with everyone.
Smiling, he nods. “Of course.”
Giving him a wave, you and Diablo return to your study. You can feel the other three staring the entire time.
---
Once you disappear Lilia leans in close to Malleus. “It seems that the queen has finally come out of her frozen shell, hmm?”
“Sh-she called you by your first name…” Sebek mutters, bewildered.
“We’ve been getting to know each other,” the dragon king replies. He has a faint smile on his face as he stares off into the direction you went.
The three exchange looks. Silver clears his throat. “I’m glad to see you two are getting closer. And you seem more yourself, your majesty.”
Hand under his chin, he hums thoughtfully. “Now that you mention it, I do feel…lighter.”
“Hoho, to be young~!” Lilia teases.
Shaking his head, Malleus's smile falls into a serious expression. “Did you find anything?” Down to business. His eye flash green as he casts a silencing spell around them.
All three straighten up. Lilia speaks first. “Unfortunately, we do have some bad news about the queen’s parents. It’s too bad seeing as you two are getting along…” He sighs.
“Go on.” Malleus is stone faced as Lilia tells him the news.
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Difference of Opinions (Part 2)
Fandom: Spider-Man, Spider-Verse, Across the Spider-Verse, Miguel O'Hara, f!Reader Summary: Miguel left you for dead but you don't give up so easily. And with a little help from a friend, you soon find yourself safe at home. But your relief is short-lived as you are faced with some skeptical Spiders and the fact you will soon have to confront Miguel... Word Count: 4811 TW: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Glitching, Left for Dead, Betrayal Notes: Sorry that Miguel doesn't physically show up in this chapter, but he plays a major part in both the next chapter and the prequel!
Prequel, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3
Series Masterlist
*Spoilers for Across the Spider-Verse*
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The glitching was getting worse. By the time you made it to your lab on the other side of the building, it was happening every thirty seconds or so. You stumbled through the door and crashed into one of the computer consoles as you lost your balance. Every inch of your body ached and felt as fragile as glass. It seemed as if the chemical bonds that held your atoms together were about to shatter leading to you basically vaporizing down to the atomic level. Which you guessed was what was about to happen. 
Another glitch hit causing you to crumple to the floor. Once your body realigned itself, you tried to climb back to your feet but you just didn’t have the strength to anymore. Instead, you rolled over to your stomach and began to drag yourself over to your desk. It wasn’t far, but by the time you reached it, you were barely able to lift yourself up to find the hidden compartment underneath. You pressed your thumb to the biometric lock and gave a huge sigh of relief when the drawer popped open. Reaching inside, you pulled out the small cloth bag and held it against your chest.
You knew you had to hurry before another glitch occurred, but you were so exhausted that your fingers were clumsy and fumbled as you tried to untie the bag. It took about three times as long as it should have, but you finally managed to open it up and you slid the contents into your hand. 
It had been over a year since you had last held the red amulet but it instantly made you feel stronger. Running your thumb across the spider carved in the stone, you couldn’t help but smile. This little piece of your homeworld didn’t contain any powers on its own, but it helped boost your powers and would hopefully ward off the glitches long enough to send your message. 
Sliding back to the floor and laying on your side, you pressed the amulet to your lips as you closed your eyes and concentrated. Your eyes rolled back in your head behind your eyelids and you felt your mind slip into the space where the intricate web of dimensions existed.
This was your power. This was what set you apart from every other Spider-Person and how you had helped Miguel build the Society in the first place. You had the ability to gaze through the veil and see the interconnected web that made up the Acracnoid Humanoid Poly Multiverse. It was also how you got the name Spider-Gazer, or Gaze. It was with this ability you first contacted Miguel’s dimension, traveled to different dimensions without a watch, mapped out hundreds of different Earths and their differences, discovered the Canon and helped Miguel and Lyla design a model so everyone could understand, and how you learned the dangers of trying to change the Canon. None of this would have been possible without you, and now all of your work had been turned against you. 
Once you sensed who you were looking for, you whispered, “Hobie, I know you can hear me. I need your help. Please. Come get me before it’s too late. I just want to help Miles. I promise. I–”
A glitch cut you off and you dropped the amulet as your body was once again torn apart and reassembled by this dimension trying to arrange your atoms to fit its unique configuration. As everything somehow managed to right itself once more, a small sob of pain slipped from your lips. Whatever strength or stability you had gotten from the amulet was now gone, and you felt yourself returning to this dimension as you no longer had the strength to continue reaching out across the multiverse. It was all over. This lab that you had built with Miguel and where you spent countless hours lovingly by his side was going to be your final resting place. 
You were about to die alone and abandoned. 
Your eyes returned to normal as you stabilized but you kept them closed, resigned to just giving in to the encroaching darkness. However, a moment later you heard the familiar crackle of a portal opening up and you peeled your eyes open to see the soft glow of a portal in front of you and a pair of heavy gray-scale boots appeared in your field of vision. 
There was the sound of a soft tongue click before a heavily-accented voice said, “Well, lookit here. The queen’s decided to join the rebellion, eh.”
Using the last of your strength to roll over slightly, you looked up at Hobie and gave him a weak smile. “Damn straight.”
His muted palette flickered back to the full-color spectrum as he nodded. “‘Bout bloody time.”
He reached out his hand to help you up but just before his fingers brushed yours, you were hit with a massive glitch and everything went black.
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Even before you opened your eyes, you knew where you were. No matter how many dimensions you had traveled to or what sort of protection you used against glitches, no other world made you feel this sense of belonging and inner peace. You were home.
Someone had placed you on a bed and you ran your palm across the sheets beneath you, savoring the feel of the muted faded edges against your skin. It was such a welcome comfort after so long of nothing but hard lines and definitive boundaries surrounding you. You had missed being the only thing around that looked or felt like you.
Every universe was different in at least one way. Sometimes those differences were instantaneously recognizable like obvious aesthetic differences while others might be something so minute it was almost impossible to pinpoint (such as the Earth without the element protactinium or the one where all hummingbirds fly 2% faster than on other Earths). 
Though you hadn’t known it until you began to visit other dimensions, the main thing that set your world apart from others was the edges of everything. There was no sharp cut-off or firm line around you. Instead, your outline sort of dissolved away to nothing. It had been a terrifying encounter the first time you met Miguel with his pronounced angular cheekbones and well-defined figure. Though to be fair, he was just as perturbed by your appearance.
Miguel had once described it as if someone had smudged your edges until they were all blurred and hazy. Recently, Gwen had found a more artistic way of describing it. She compared most universes to art with sharp edges while yours was more of a soft edge, like the background of a watercolor or oil painting. But regardless of how others described you, the fact was you and those from your universe weren’t as solid or stable as most.
It was why the glitches hit you so much harder and more frequently than any of the other Spider-People. Your genetic structure was already less tightly bound than those from other dimensions which made you more susceptible to the glitches. That plus the fact your powers were connected to the multiverse and attracted multidimensional energy whenever you left your home meant that you couldn’t survive outside of your own universe without the stabilizers for very long. Something you had once learned the hard way.
Opening your eyes, you glanced around the room and were shocked to find it wasn’t just any room. It was your room. The one you had lived in a few years ago as you were learning how to traverse the multiverse. Back before you had left your world to help build the Spider Society. You wondered how Hobie knew to bring you here.
You were still in your Spider-Gazer costume though you spotted your mask laying on the table next to the bed. And right beside it was your amulet. Thankfully, Hobie must have grabbed it from where you had dropped it before he brought you here. You reached over and picked it up, a fresh wave of energy flowing through you as you did. For a moment, you had thought you might have lost it forever and that thought had devastated you. After all, it had been in your family for more generations than anyone could remember and it was what had originally helped connect you to the Acracnoid Humanoid Poly Multiverse. Your powers might not have come from it, but it amplified them which had allowed you and Miguel to accomplish all the things you had thus far. In fact, without the amulet, you never would have been able to reach out to Miguel in the first place. 
Miguel….
Honestly, you weren’t sure how to feel about what had happened or what he did to you. Loyalty and commitment to him and your mission to protect the multiverse meant everything to him and you had gone against both to try and help Miles. After everything he had been through, you could understand why Miguel was so devastated by your betrayal. However, that didn’t excuse the fact he left you caged and glitching on your own with only one possible outcome….
You were pulled from your train of thought as the door opened and Pavitr walked in holding a cup of water. But when he saw you looking back at him, he dropped the cup– spilling water across the floor –and run from the room hollering, “Guys! She finally woke up!”
A minute later, he returned with Gwen, Peter B. Parker, and Mayday trailing behind. As you struggled to sit up slightly, Mayday shot a web above your head and swung over to land directly in your lap. Before Peter could snatch her away, you drew her close and snuggled your face into the top of her knit spider-hat. She hugged you back as you cooed, “Hey there, little one.”
“Mayday…” her father muttered as he held out his arms, but you shook your head.
“It’s fine, Peter. I’m okay.” However, you noticed the nervous look that he exchanged with Gwen and you felt a deep pit open up in your stomach as you realized their concern. “Ah. You’re not worried about me. You’re worried about her with me.”
Peter shifted uncomfortably as he rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s nothing against you, Gaze. It’s just we don’t really know where you stand right now.”
“Well, I seem to recall the last time I saw you, you were heading back to your dimension while I was left glitching out of existence in a cage,” you snapped. “But I can see why I would be the one whose loyalty is being questioned.”
Peter stared at the floor, unable to meet your eye. “You’re right. You helped Miles, even when most of us tried to follow Miguel’s plan. But Gaze, you’re Miguel’s girl. I’ve known the two of you longer than almost any other member of the Society and I’ve seen what you are both willing to do for the other. How do we know you aren’t going to tell him we’re all here, what we are planning, and have him come to this universe to stop us?”
“First of all, may I repeat that he left me in a cage to glitch into nothing?” There was more venom in your voice than you intended and you felt Mayday cower slightly in your arms. Instantly regretting your tone, you kissed her softly on the top of her hat and released her to return to her father’s arms. She smiled up at you before she swung away, and you were glad at least she seemed to have forgiven you.
Taking a deep breath, you continued in a softer, calmer tone. “Second of all, Miguel can’t come to this dimension even if I wanted him to. We had a fight once and he kept following me across dimensions when I tried to walk away. After that, we decided that this– my home dimension –would be a safe place for me to go where he couldn’t follow when I needed some space. So I used my powers to ward it so he can’t enter this dimension. Even with his watch.
“And third of all, I love Miguel deeply, but in this case, he’s too blinded by his pain and loss to really look at this situation objectively. So you need me because I may be the only one who can get through to him and make him see that.”
Peter caught Mayday as he exchanged a look with Gwen. They both still seemed slightly skeptical of you and your motives and you tried to keep your frustration from coming back. They had been just as involved in Miguel’s plan to stop Miles as you had been, maybe even more so seeing as they were his friends. And you had tried to help Miles even as they had continued to try and make him see the logic of Miguel’s actions. They may not have agreed with how Miguel went about it, but they were full supporters of not letting Miles try to save his dad. Only you and Hobie had originally wanted to let him try and go against the Canon. Yet you were still the one who was considered a threat to Miles. The hypocrisy was unbelievable. 
But as Gwen opened her mouth to say something, Pavitr jumped in. “Guys, come on! Just trust her already!”
Gwen shook her head. “Pav, I’m sorry but you weren’t there. It’s more complicated than that.”
“No, but Hobie was and he trusts her. He never would’ve brought all of us here otherwise. And if Hobie’s willing to trust someone, that’s good enough for me.” He gave you a bright smile and you almost burst into tears.
“Thanks, Pav.” You glanced around at the other Spiders in front of you. “Well? He’s right. You either trust me and we start working together to save Miles or you don’t and you should get the hell out of my apartment and let me rest.”
Gwen shot Peter another look. After a moment’s hesitation, he shrugged in her direction as he placed Mayday in her carrier. “It’s up to you. You’re the one who gathered us all here and you’re the one who knows Miles the best. If you think we can trust her…”
Chewing on her lip, Gwen considered the situation. The longer she stared at you, the more the anger and frustration began to build in your chest once more. But just as you were about to tell them all to forget it and to get out of your dimension, Gwen said, “Pav’s right. Hobie doesn’t trust people easily so if he trusts her, then we should too.”
Peter sighed and held up his hands. “Whatever you say. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you if this goes sideways.”
“Yeah, Peter, because it’s never your fault is it?” you ruefully chuckled, ashamed by the way it caught in your throat. Seeing him still doubt you even now hurt more than you wanted to admit. Glaring at him, you spat, “It’s true what you said. I’ve known you for longer than almost anyone else, and yet you still turned your back on me and walked away when I needed you most.”
Peter’s face darkened as he looked away. Gwen must have noticed whatever fragile peace your group had settled on was at risk of falling apart already because she said, “Um, can I speak to Gaze on my own?”
Pavitr –who had been anxiously watching your back and forth with Peter– sighed in relief and nodded. With another wide smile in your direction, he hurried from the room. 
Peter began to follow him, but he hesitated at the door. Without looking back at you, he muttered, “I’m sorry. You were right. I left you there in that cage knowing what would probably happen. I wanted so badly to help you but I had Mayday and I couldn’t…. I couldn’t risk what Miguel might do to her if I tried to interfere.”
Your glare softened a bit at the pain and regret in Peter’s voice. You knew he was right. If Miguel was angry enough to turn on you, there was no telling what he would have done to anyone else who tried to cross him at that moment. And you would never want Mayday to be put in danger, despite what that meant for your own safety. 
So, you sighed, “It’s okay, I get it. Your daughter comes first. Always. And that’s how it should be.” You squeezed your amulet still in your fist tighter and tried not to think of your own family or what they had done to keep you safe. “Regardless of how I feel about what happened, you should know I think you’re a fantastic father and Mayday is so lucky to have you.”
Peter’s head whipped around to face you and you saw tears welling up in his eyes as his lips began to tremble. He opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something but then closed it again without a sound. Then he nodded once and hurried from the room.
Gwen watched him walk away for a moment before she shut the door. “That was really sweet of you to say.”
“He tries so hard with that kid, he deserves to know it isn’t in vain.” You pushed yourself up so you were in more of a sitting position and asked, “So now that we trust each other, where’s Hobie? I want to thank him for coming to get me.”
“He’s out looking for parts to build more watches. I have a few other friends I want to bring with us to look for Miles but we’re afraid that if we use Miguel’s watches, he’ll be able to track us.”
You nodded. “He can, so that’s good thinking. That’s why I called Hobie for help instead of any of you.”
“What do you mean?”
“I taught him how the watches worked a few months ago. I was tinkering with a broken one and he kept looking over my shoulder so I walked him through how they worked. Then I noticed him swiping equipment and parts ever since you all arrived at HQ earlier today. So when I needed help, I figured he would have assembled his own untrackable watch by now… Or at least, I hoped he had.”
Gwen shook her head. “But if you knew he was building his own watch before everything went wrong, why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you stop him?”
“Since when does Hobie listen to anything anyone tells him?” you chuckled. “If I would have told him to stop, it wouldn’t have made a difference. Besides, after seeing how worked up Miguel was getting over Miles already, I had a feeling it wasn’t a terrible idea for there to be a non-Society watch out there somewhere. Turns out, I was right.”
“So you did know Miguel was going to do that to Miles.”
Sighing, you said, “We all knew what he was planning, Gwen. And we all agreed to it so we could uphold the Canon. I just…. I never thought Miguel would take things that far.”
Gwen hesitated for a moment before she asked, “It can’t be true, can it? Did Miguel really leave you imprisoned without a watch knowing what that would mean? Did he…. Did he really leave you to die? I just can’t believe it. He loves you. Everyone knows that.”
You stared down at the amulet in your hands, unable to look her in the face. In a small voice, you said, “Miguel isn’t a bad man. He’s just been hurt in the past like all of us. And like all of us, he’s found ways to cope with his pain and loss. One of those ways is cutting out anyone or anything that he feels may hurt him again or betray him. And I did both.”
“But what Miguel was doing was wrong!”
“You didn’t see it that way at first.” You lifted your eyes to stare at Gwen and it was her turn to look away. “I’m not judging you, Gwen. I know how hard it had to be to lie to Miles about what was about to happen and to try to keep him from stopping it. We’ve all had to accept the losses that come with being a Spider–” Your mind once again flashed to your mother and late fiance, but you quickly push them from your thoughts “– but Miles is new to this. He may have lost his uncle a while ago, but finding out he was also about to lose his father was never going to be an easy thing to accept.” You gave her a soft but pointed look. “Just like you refusing to go home because you can’t accept your own father’s impending death.”
“But that’s just it…” Gwen came and sat on the edge of your bed. “I did go home. Miguel sent me there and I saw my dad. He’s quitting his job which means he’ll no longer be a captain. He doesn’t have to die anymore! The Canon of my universe changed! So, maybe Miles can change his dad’s fate too!” 
You didn’t have the heart to tell her the truth. Canon events had shifted in the past, switched from one person to another, but they never failed to come to pass. Or if they did, it led to the potential collapse of that universe. Her father may no longer be the captain she was close to who would die, but that didn’t mean another captain wouldn’t take his place eventually. However, that was a conversation for another time. 
So instead, you gave her a small smile and nodded. “I’m glad, Gwen. Really, I am. And I agree that Miles has a chance to change the Canon. It’s why I tried to stop all of this before things got so out of hand. Miles is unlike anyone I have ever seen before. It’s true he’s an anomaly but he’s not a fatal one. I can see that he’s connected to the multiverse and the Canon and yet is also separated from it. I’ve never encountered anything like it before. I just wish I would have realized it sooner. Then maybe I could have convinced Miguel to let Miles at least try to save his father. Maybe then Miguel wouldn’t have… wouldn’t have–”
You shook your head, unable to finish the words that were too painful to say out loud. It had been one thing when you had snapped them in anger at Peter, but now, when you were calm and able to fully face what Miguel had done to you, it was different. You just kept seeing that dead expression on his face and the cold gleam in his red eyes just before he hurled you across the room. The sound of his complete lack of emotion as he snapped, “She made her bed, now she can die in it.”
You and Miguel had been in each other’s lives for so long. Even before you started your romantic relationship, the two of you had been extremely close friends and partners. Sure, you had had your ups and downs, but nothing anywhere close to this. At that moment, he truly hadn’t cared what happened to you. And even if there was a chance he changed his mind and tried to come back for you, it didn’t undo what he had done or said. But while your head continued to scream these things at you, your heart couldn’t let him go– at least not yet. 
However, if there was any hope of reconciling with Miguel, what you had planned next would obliterate that sliver of a chance. But it was the right thing to do.
Taking a deep breath, you said, “I know how to find Miles.”
Gwen stared at you in surprise. “What? How? I already checked Earth-1610 and he’s not there which means the Go Home machine messed up and he could literally be in any other universe.”
“How do you think?” you scoffed as you let your eyes roll back into your head and the room around you melted away into the familiar glow of the multiverse. “I just need something of his to tune into.”
“Here!” You felt Gwen jump off the bed and out the door. A moment later, you heard her return and place a soft piece of clothing in your hand. “It’s his jacket. I took this when I visited his place on Earth-1610. It’s pretty worn out so I’m guessing he wore it a lot.”
Feeling the residual energy radiating from it, you nodded. “Yeah, this should work. Just give me a few minutes.”
Mentally, you reached out into the tangled web of dimensions as you searched for the person who matched the feel of the jacket in your hand. You found several who were close– Miles Morales’s from other Earths –but not the one you were looking for. Finally, you were drawn to a cluster of Earths to your left and headed in that direction. A moment later, you caught a hint of what you were looking for. And what was more, your Miles didn’t seem to be alone….
Leaving the dimensional void, you sagged back heavily on your pillow with a soft sigh of exhaustion. Normally, a search like that would have barely registered to you, but you were still drained from being almost glitched out of existence. 
After collecting yourself, you nodded at Gwen. “I got him. He’s on Earth-42. And it seems he’s found the Miles of that universe.” 
“Oh!” Gwen said in surprise. “What does that mean?”
“Potentially nothing, but meeting your doppelganger from another dimension isn’t always easy to accept. You’ll need to approach the situation carefully when you go get him.”
“Me? What about you?”
“I’m going after Miguel.” You saw the skepticism spark on Gwen’s face. “It’s okay. I’m not going to tell him where Miles is. But while you guys go find Miles, get him home, and try to stop Spot so you can save his dad, I need to try and stall Miguel. Maybe I can finally talk some reason into him.”
At that, Gwen’s skepticism shifted to worry. “The last time you tried that, he left you for dead.”
“True, but I wasn’t prepared because I never imagined he would stoop to that level. Now that I know the extent he’s willing to go, I’m ready for him. I know Miguel better than anyone else. I know his strengths and weaknesses, and I know how to stop him if I have to. And if nothing else, I can buy you guys some time.”
“He could kill you. For real this time.”
“Yeah, he could.” You looked down at your amulet. You could still back out. Go with Gwen and the others instead of trying to face Miguel. But you knew this was their best chance for success, even if that meant you might not be there to see it. 
Sliding your amulet over your head and letting it fall to its rightful place on your neck, you said, “I should already be dead, but Hobie saved me. The least I can do is try to use that life I was given back to save my friends.”
Gwen took your hand and gave it a tight squeeze. “Thank you.”
You smiled and squeezed her hand back. “I just need a little more time to regain my strength. What I need to do takes a lot of energy and I’m just not there yet. But I should be ready by the time Hobie finishes the watches and you get your other friends on board. Then we’ll each go do what we have to in order to set things right.”
This wasn’t going to be easy. You still loved Miguel and you knew despite what he did that you would love him until your last breath. But this was no longer about the two of you. In fact, it never really was. Miles was different– special –and he might be the key to discovering a way to change the Canon for all Spider-People. No more destined loss, no more unavoidable pain. But only if Miguel will listen to you and what you have seen. And that was a really big what if.
As Gwen left the room to fill everyone else in and let you rest, you picked up your amulet from where it rested on your chest and placed a soft kiss on the cold stone. Sending out a small tendril of power through the multiverse in the hopes he might hear you, you thought, I’m coming, my love. Whether you’re happy to see me or not.
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cassafrassie · 4 months
Text
I joined this fandom 10 years too late and there's rarely new fics being posted so I guess it's up to me now!
Dipper makes a little oopsie when texing Pacifica late at night.
Also available on AO3.
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Read Receipts word count: 2,613 rating: T (language)
He could blame it on the fact that it’s after 2 A.M. and he was up at 5 A.M. for Varsity Swim practice this morning. He could just say it was an accident, pure and simple, like when little kids call their teachers “mom.” He could say he meant to text it to his cousin in Phoenix (he doesn’t have one, but she doesn’t know that). He could claim that Mabel must have been messing with the auto-correct features on his phone again; some sort of mean prank. Hell, he could say it was Mabel who had typed it out in the first place.
None of these thoughts occur to Dipper Pines in this moment. In this moment, the only thought repeating through his head is:
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
He sits and stares at the offending text. The bright blue bubble surrounding it confirms that yes, he actually sent those words.
Goodnight, love you. 
He watches in frozen horror as the “delivered” text below it transforms into “Read: 2:23 AM.”
Fuuuuuuuuck.
Snapping out of it in an instant, his thumbs feverishly begin tapping out an apology. He stops, erases what he wrote. This isn’t really something you apologize for, right? Would that be weirder than leaving it be? She’s his best friend. She knows he loves her, at least she knows he loves her platonically , and calling it out might draw more unnecessary attention. 
But then, he’s definitely never said those words before. 
Yeah, this is new. It’s weird. He needs to say something.
He starts again, tapping in some bogus message about how life is short and tomorrow is never promised, and hey why not tell your friends you love them? This line of thought is pretty out of character for him, so he blames it on some sappy coming-of-age movie that Mabel was watching the other night. And hey maybe it was kind of saccharine but there’s some truth in all art, right? 
She will totally call bullshit. He erases this too. 
He starts tapping out a simple “ I didn’t mean to send that ” but that’s no good either because he doesn’t want her to think he doesn’t care for her. He just doesn’t want her to know that he’s desperately in love with her, that he thinks about her every night before bed, about how he turns bright red any time his mom innocently asks how she is, or that he printed out that photo of them at the lake last summer and has it taped in his locker at school. 
(“Who is THAT?” his lab partner Tyler once asked, and he just smiled in response. Nothing wrong with letting people think he has a super hot out-of-town girlfriend; he can’t help it if rumors circulate. 
They don’t, but it was worth a shot.)
He’s broken out of his reverie by the appearance of three little blinking dots appearing on his screen. He swallows. 
Pacifica: You know I can see each time you start your message over again, right? 
Dipper feels his cheeks warm. He braces himself and slowly taps out an answer.
Dipper: Yeah, sorry. Overthinking I guess.
Pacifica: You? Never.
Relief floods him. She’s teasing him, this is normal.
Dipper: I know, right? Better call the feds and alert the media.
Pacifica: I’ll start working on the press release.
Dipper: Maybe I can give Toby an exclusive interview. 
This is good, he thinks. They can just banter a bit, and he’ll guide the conversation to another topic and then they can say goodnight again ( sans accidental love confession ) and he’ll push this little slip to the recesses of his brain where he stores every other embarrassing memory. It will live blissfully ignored next to memories of the lamby lamby dance and the time Mabel accidentally uploaded an episode of Dipper’s Guide to the Unexplained to the school server instead of her AV assignment.
Pacifica: So…
Well, shit . Nevermind . 
Dipper: So…
Pacifica: What exactly were you overthinking just now?
Dipper: I mean, I think you know. 
Pacifica: I’d like to know we’re on the same page though. 
Dipper snorts. They haven’t been on the same page about this particular topic since the night he realized just how delectable the smell of champagne and flowers could be, or since the afternoon she entrusted him with her deepest insecurities, and he realized she was one of the most courageous girls he knew.
He smiles grimly as he types his response. Be brave, man. 
Dipper: I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to type that. I know that’s not something we say… not in the way that Mabel and I do, or even Mabel and you do. Sorry if I made you feel weird.
Brave-ish, anyway. 
Pacifica: So it was an accident then?
He frowns. Was he not clear?
Dipper: Well, I mean yeah. 
Her response takes a long time to come in, and he wonders momentarily if she’s fallen asleep. 
Pacifica: Okay, I understand. 
Wait, what?  Is she… disappointed? No, no that doesn’t make sense. She must just be offended, she thinks he doesn’t care about her at all. 
Dipper: No I mean, I do feel like that. Like obviously you mean a lot to me, and that is a real feeling I have. But I just didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable. Since you know, I’m a guy and normally when a guy says that to a girl it means something else. 
That’s better, he thinks, satisfied with himself. Why didn’t he just say this in the first place?
Pacifica: I get it, Dipper.
What the…?
His blood pressure is rising and he feels a jumpy anxiety course through him. Fix it, fix it now his brain screams. 
His finger is tapping the tiny photo of her at the top of their thread and jabbing call before his brain manages to catch up.
She picks up on the first ring. 
“Hello?” answers a small, sniffly voice. 
“Paz? What’s wrong? I’m sorry. What did I do?” 
He hears a quiet chuckle muffled by another sniffle.
“You’re apologizing without even knowing what you did?” she teases lightly, voice still shaky.
“Yes,” Dipper responds without hesitation, not seeing her point.
“You don’t need to apologize, Dip. You didn’t do anything wrong,” she sighs.
“I don’t understand, Paz. Why are you crying?” 
“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”
“Paz, I’m going to worry. You’re upset and it’s my fault.”
“It’s not your fault. It’s mine,” she says quietly, so unlike herself. 
Dipper’s head is still swimming, looking for answers. The emotional whiplash he’s gone through in the last ten minutes isn’t helping. 
“Can we talk about it?” he ventures, keeping his voice low. In his urgency to call her he forgot that everyone else in his house is asleep. The last thing he needs is his dad walking in on this conversation and ushering him to bed.
Pacifica is quiet for a few long seconds, but eventually he hears a soft “okay.”
He stays quiet, giving her space to pull together her thoughts.
“I… liked what you said earlier. When you said goodnight. It felt nice. And I guess it made me sad to find out you didn’t mean to say it.” 
Well now you’ve gone and done it. Idiot , he thinks at himself. 
He takes a deep breath, decides to edge a little closer to honesty. 
“I’m… really glad it made you happy. It’s… true. I do…feel that,” he says carefully, not having the courage to repeat the forbidden L-word . “You mean the world to me,” he adds, hoping it will be a bit of a balm to his earlier fumble. 
She sniffles again, but it’s not quite as wet as her earlier sniffs.
He continues, slowly, deciding to edge one more toe a bit closer to the truth. Under no circumstances is he about to confess his undying and likely unrequited romantic love, but he can make her feel better.
“I don’t think you know how much you mean to me,” he adds.
“That’s probably true…”
He puzzles at her response, chewing on his bottom lip. Before he can reply, she continues. 
“That’s why I’m sad. I don’t… know, really , how much I mean to you. In…” there’s a long pause. “In what way.” 
His heart leaps into his throat, hopefully. Could she…? No…
“Oh,” is all he manages to say.
“I wish I did,” she says bluntly.
There’s no avoiding what she’s hinting at. Hell, she’s not even really hinting. He’s so close to telling her, telling her all of it, but there’s that one small, mean voice in his head telling him that she could never return his feelings, that she just wants to clear the air because it’s become so obvious that he’s crazy about her, and she wants to let him down easy so they can go on being friends…
But she keeps talking, interrupting the small, mean voice.
“I want you to know how I feel, too,” she says, a bit more of her usual confidence finding its way back into her tone. Dipper senses that she’s made up her mind about something.  
The only thought present in his mind now is that he’s about to either be the happiest he’s ever been, or have his heart shattered into a million pieces. 
“But can we talk about it in person?” she asks. 
He chokes.
“Yeah, yeah of course, that’s fine,” he lies. 
It absolutely is not fine , his heart wails. He won’t be in Gravity Falls for another two months. How on earth is he going to wait two months to hear the answer to the question that’s been on his mind for the last four years? 
“Can you… ugh this is embarrassing–” she starts.
“What?” He interjects. “Whatever you want, it’s done.”
He winces. Ugh, he’s such a goner.
But he thinks he can hear a smile in her response, which calms him a little. “Could you tell me some things you like about me, in the meantime?” she asks. “I’m… uh… feeling a little vulnerable right now.”
“Oh… yeah, yeah of course.”
He thinks for a beat, cataloging the thousands of images, feelings, and memories currently flooding his mind. 
“Well just to get it out of the way first because it’s incredibly obvious, you’re gorgeous. But you don’t need to hear that from me.”
“But I like hearing it from you. I like hearing… you say that,” she repeats, with emphasis.
He’d have to be pretty thick to not catch her meaning there, and Dipper may be many things but he’s not a complete idiot. 
Emboldened, he goes on.
“Alright, well, you’re stunning. Like, the way your eyes match the sky, and when the sunlight hits your hair and it just kind of shimmers.” He makes a waving motion with his fingers even though she can’t see it. “And when you smile, I swear it makes everything brighter. Whenever one of my friends down here sees your photo…” He almost tells her about the locker photo, but decides against it. No need to out himself as a total creep just yet. “They’re always just like, shocked, that I even know someone like you.” 
Pacifica giggles. “Okay, okay, I get it. You think I’m pretty.”
“It’s not just that though,” he adds quickly. “The way you stand up to your parents– and I know you can’t go full-on rebel-mode– but you do it in your own subtle ways, and I just want you to know that I see that, and I think it’s amazing. You’re brave; you always have my back when we’re exploring. You’re hilarious, even if half of your jokes are at my expense… I don’t mind it. Because they’re usually true. And I like that you’re paying attention to me. I like being seen by you, too.” He swallows. “I’m happy when I’m around you. Even if you’re driving me up a wall. It… it feels good.”  
His honesty, rather than feeding his insecurities, has him feeling bold.
“I like it when we’re together. I think we’re good together,” he finishes. 
And it sort of feels like he just took a flying leap off a cliff. 
“I think we’re good together too,” she says. 
And it’s also like landing in a soft, warm, solid bed. 
“Okay,” she starts. “Okay, I feel better. Thank you, Dipper.” He hears her sigh contentedly. “I can let you go now; I know you’ve had a long day.”
But he’s still feeling brave. And he’s not really used to the feeling when it comes to this, so he doesn’t want to let it go to waste.
“Hey, not so fast, missy,” he says, keeping his voice playful. “I can’t let you go to bed hearing all those sweet nothings without getting some for myself.”
She giggles, and his heart soars.
“Okay, mister,” she teases back. “Fair is fair.”
“Feel free to start with my devastatingly handsome features, too. Rogue-ish good looks. All that.”
She giggles again and ugh he’s going to get addicted to the oxytocin that floods his brain at the sound. Oh, who the hell is he kidding? He has been for a long time. 
“Okay well, yes, you do have a certain inherent charm that is somewhat related to your cute, cocky smile, I suppose…” Dipper feels himself grin involuntarily. “But what I like most about you, devastatingly roguish features aside, is your character. How you care about right and wrong. How you challenge me to be better, but never make me feel judged. How curious you are about the world around us, and how you help me learn new things, too. How you love your family, and stop at nothing to protect them… and me. You make me feel safe. And I just… I admire you.”
“Paz, I don’t want to wait until June for–” He almost says “for this” but realizes they haven’t exactly called a spade a spade yet, and he wants to keep up the charade they both know they are playing until they are face-to-face. “--to talk about this.”
“...what are you doing Saturday?”
“This Saturday?” he asks, surprised. 
She hums in confirmation. 
“Uh… well, nothing. Some people were going to the movies, but that– that’s so not important.”
“Well, there’s… this little city off the five, near Mount Shasta, it'd be about a three hour drive for each of us. We could both leave early… have a late breakfast together… it looks like there’s this arboretum that could be cool, or maybe just walk along the river…”
“Wow, you know a lot about this particular town, Paz,” Dipper teases.
“I’ve never been, but… I might’ve done some research into the area…” she admits, and he thinks he can hear a shy smile breaking through in her voice. 
“Sounds like a date.” And he grins at his own cleverness, at the double meaning. 
“Yeah,” she laughs. “I guess it is.”
“I’ll see you Saturday, then,” he says, and the butterflies in his stomach somersault happily. 
“See you then,” she replies, and he knows he can hear her own grin now. “Goodnight, Dipper.”
“Goodnight, Pacifica.” He pauses. Fuck it. “Love you.” 
“I love you too.”
Dipper lets the phone drop on his chest as he falls backwards onto his bed, dopey smile plastered to his face and pleasant warmth coursing through his body. 
He starts thinking of all the ways he can tell and show her just what she means to him– just as soon as she’s in his arms. And as these pleasant thoughts slowly shift into dreams, he gives in to sleep with an unburdened mind and full heart.
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enkas-illusion · 10 months
Text
3, 2, 1… Blow The Candle 
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Fandom / Pairing: Jujutsu Kaisen / Geto Suguru x f!reader
Rating: NSFW/Explicit - MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
Genre/Theme: Established relationship; non-sorcery au
Content warning: fluff, eventual smut, oral (m.receiving), explicit sexual content, language, angst, sexually frustrated Geto.
Summary: What is the best birthday gift for Suguru, you ask? Riling him up till he reaches his breaking point before surprising him on his birthday with a gift he’ll never forget (aka, you give him the best head he’s ever received).
Author's Note: Hello, I was down bad for Suguru, wanting to give him the glock-glock 9000 and boom, this one-shot was born. I was too lazy to write the entire smut scene but let me know if you’d like a Part 2, I could use the extra motivation T.T 
Thank you for reading! 
~ Eren’s Birdie
Song Dedication: Religion by Lana Del Rey
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Geto Suguru wasn't the kind to celebrate his birthdays with much enthusiasm — it's not that he hated them… he just couldn't care less about them. For him, it was just a reminder of another year passing. And although he never said it out loud for fear of sounding too cheesy, he cared more about the time he got to spend with his people.
So this year, you wanted to please your boyfriend in a way that he preferred, giving him a good time that would be hard to forget. You’d both taken leaves from work for tomorrow to get some alone time all day together before going out for dinner with friends.
With just a few hours till midnight, you were making mental notes of everything you had planned for tomorrow, ticking each item off your checklist. Last year, you’d gotten him an electric guitar, based on Satoru’s recommendation – which Suguru loved, of course, but he had joked that you could simply bake him a cake and he’d be the happiest man on earth.
Which was ironic coming from someone who’d constantly bombard you with flowers and presents for relationship milestones and celebrations that were days or even months away. Suguru was all for spoiling his girl but when it came to receiving, his love language was, more often than not, physical touch.
And that’s what you decide you’d do. Your plan was to make tonight extra special. So, while you had materialistic gifts lined up, you had other things in mind to please the birthday boy.
You’d asked a friend to bake a batch of hash brownies, paying extra for good quality stuff, since you knew that’s how Suguru liked it – he was the type to easily distinguish good quality weed from the subpar one. 
You’d also ordered a custom made jersey of his favourite rugby team with his birth date ‘03’ on the back. Since Suguru can sniff out a surprise in an instant, you’d taken extra steps to get it delivered at Satoru’s address instead of yours.
On your way back from work in the evening, you’d received a call from your boyfriend, asking if you could bring take-out since he was too occupied with work to take on dinner duties tonight. You’d agreed, secretly cheering as it would be the perfect opportunity to make a few stops to pick up the brownies from your friend’s and the jersey from Satoru’s place.
When you arrive home to find him seated at the dining table, eyes fixed on the table, you almost fear that he’d gotten back earlier than expected.
“Baby, weren’t you working till late?” you question as you place the food parcel on the table before walking towards him to place a kiss on his temple. He brings his hand up to give you a side hug, not peeling his eyes off the screen.
“I am, I brought the work laptop home since I figured it’d take too long… would rather work here till late than at the office.” 
“Will you be working late into the night?” you ask, feeling a bit disappointed.
“Oh no, I’d be done before midnight hopefully… I know your obsession with wanting to be the first to wish me.” he chuckles. You quickly make an excuse of freshening up to hide your handbag into the cupboard, before returning to the living room again for dinner.
When you’re done with dinner, he quickly gets back to typing away hastily on his laptop. You quietly make your way to the bedroom, locking it behind you. You take the jersey, the box of brownies and other gifts out of your fully stuffed handbag… thanking the heavens for the nth time that your boyfriend was too focused on work to notice anything odd.
After wrapping his gifts and stacking them away in the cupboard, you take your time to shower and shave for the special occasion. You put on a white, skimpy, lace lingerie that leaves barely anything to the imagination before wearing his rugby jersey on top. You twirl in front of the mirror, noting that the jersey nearly covers your ass but would ride up easily if you bent down.
Your heart beats faster as you place a pair of leather handcuffs in a red paper box with black ribbon, placing it next to the box of brownies on the bed. You knew things were going to get wild so you recall your safe word ‘monkey’ just in case, but don’t fixate on it much since you trusted your boyfriend to know just how much he can push you before it gets too much. 
You had mentally prepared yourself for a sexually frustrated Suguru since you hadn’t allowed him to touch you for about 15 days now, which was the longest he’d gone without your touch ever since you started living together almost more than a year ago.
Usually you’d run to him to fuck you on your period since it always helped you with your cramps, but for the first week, it became an excuse to act cranky and bratty, which he took without complaining. You were aware that you probably shouldn’t press his buttons so much since his payback would be 10 times worse but you couldn’t help yourself since it was just so damn easy to rile him up. It revealed his animalistic side in bed, leaving no room for the gentle lover that he sometimes was, and you were a sucker for that.
You loved being ravaged by him because the aftercare was even better. Besides, it wasn’t easy for you either, to act so dumb and innocent in front of him while actively trying to seduce him throughout this whole week. You wanted nothing more than to jump his bones when he wasn’t even trying to seduce you. Your boyfriend was simply existing and it was enough to get you wet. 
At the beginning of your relationship, he’d quickly realised you were on par with him when it came to being horny to the point of borderline sex addict. For a short time, he had your number saved as ‘my succubus <3’ briefly to tease how much you craved his touch all the damn time. It didn’t last for long however, since you made him change it back to your name when Satoru accidentally read it when you’d called Suguru’s phone and started calling you that out loud at insanely inappropriate times in public. 
So imagine your boyfriend’s surprise and confusion when you, of all people, were asking for space because you ‘simply don’t feel like it.’ He respected your wishes, being a respectful gentleman, not wanting to overwhelm you.
Though you knew his patience was wearing thin and almost broke 3 days ago. You’d gotten out of the shower and dropped your towel to the ground as you paced around the room naked, taking longer than usual to decide what dress to put on, moving your hips seductively to The Weeknd’s more explicit and dirtier songs playing softly on your phone. He’d muttered a ‘for fuck’s sake’ before making his way to the bathroom for a quick shower, trying to calm himself down. He only stepped out of the bathroom when he was certain you’d left the house, a few moments after gently knocking on the bathroom door to inform him that you were leaving for work.
When Satoru had asked you why Suguru had been more irritated for the last two weeks, you told him about denying him sex to rile him up. Satoru chuckled, calling you devil incarnate… maybe so, but this devil was sure going to have the time of her life soon so it was a win-win for you.
As you spray on some perfume you know he loves, you hear his voice call out your name. You check the time and gasp – it’s 11:49PM. You place the red box on the bed for later, checking yourself out and fixing your hair one last time before opening the bedroom door.
“Baby, did you fall asleep?” Suguru speaks while sliding it into the bag and placing it on the coffee table. His back is turned to you so you think he doesn’t notice you tip-toeing into the living room.
“And here I was thinking you almost forgot it’s my birthd-” he abandons the joke, his words getting caught in his throat when his eyes land on you as he turns around. 
“Hi,” you giggle sheepishly, suddenly conscious about the way his eyes roam over your body. But you snap out of it just as quickly.
Pull yourself together – you have a plan to execute, a mission to accomplish!
“Sugu, do you like your present? The jersey?” you ask, feigning innocence as you twirl in place. He’s checking you out shamelessly with a devilish look on his face, “Love it.” 
“Hmm. Maybe you should put it on to see if it fits.” you reply as you seductively remove the top and toss it at him. He catches it, a cocky smile plastered on his face as he observes your antics in amusement – so this is what the forced abstinence was about.
“You’re right, we really should make sure it fits.” he peels off his own shirt before putting the jersey on in one swift motion. 
“Perfect.” you smile at him as you walk to where he’s standing near the sofa, your hands landing on his chest as you caress the fabric gently to smoothen the crinkles.
You could melt under how intense his gaze feels. You bite your lip as you blush, hands moving up to rest on his shoulders. He gives your ass a firm squeeze before lightly spanking it, causing you to yelp in surprise as his arms snake around your waist, trapping you.
“Baby, you are in so much trouble tonight.” he brings his lips closer to your ear, biting your earlobe.
“I’m counting on it.” you giggle at the tingling sensation of his lips on your neck. You pull yourself out of his arms and he lets you, following behind when you guide him by his wrist to settle him on the sofa.
“Let me make it up to you, birthday boy,” you say, bending down in front of him, intertwining your fingers with his to pin them to his sides.
You kiss him softly and ever so slowly before letting it deepen. Even with you trying your best to not let him touch you just yet, you know it's a useless effort given that your strength is nothing compared to his. Suguru tightens his grip, fingers still tightly intertwined with yours as he moves your hands to your lower back to lock them there.
You try to wiggle your hands out of his hold and feel him letting go. You try to take back control but his rough grip on your hips indicates otherwise as he pulls your body onto his till you're straddling him. 
You let out a groan as you put your hands on his chest and pull away to catch your breath, feeling his hard poke against your ass. Your hand reaches to your side to pull his wrist to your face as you check his watch, the screen lighting up just on time as 11:59PM turns to 12:00AM.
“Happy…” you give him a small peck on his forehead, “Birthday…” another one on the tip of his nose, “Babyyy.” last one landing on his lips.
He's smiling into the kiss as his grip relaxes a bit. You take the opportunity to slowly move down till you’re kneeling between his legs. You hastily unbutton his pants and he lifts his hips up to let you take them off completely.
Your hand strokes his dick as you lick the tip gently. You slide down his foreskin to reveal his wet tip, your mouth watering at the sight – Suguru might just have the prettiest dick you’ve ever seen.
“Missed this lil’ guy so much.” You tease and he lets out a snort, if there’s one thing that Suguru will never take an offence at is you joking about his dick, it simply doesn’t faze him – and why would it? He knows he’s big.
Your tongue rolls over his tip, causing him to sink down into the sofa, spreading his legs out further. You lick up the base before taking a few inches in your mouth as you hear your boyfriend let out a low groan.
He rests his head back as his eyes close, enjoying the way your tongue feels on his cock after so long. The peace doesn't last however, when his phone rings in the pocket of his pants. 
Mouth still connected to him, you reach a hand down to where his pants are bundled up and pull out his phone to silence it, tossing it onto the sofa next to him. You look up at his face as your mouth moves up and down his length. 
His phone rings again in a few seconds.
“For fucks sake…” he mutters as he looks at who's calling. You release his dick from your mouth, letting your hand take over.
“Who is it?” You ask, kissing at the base.
“Satoru.” he sighs, running his hands through his hair in frustration, “He's gonna keep calling till I answer.”
“It's okay, go ahead,” you assure him, your hands still.
He nods as he answers the call. But right as he's about to greet his best friend on the other end, you take him in your mouth, letting his tip hit the back of your throat slightly as you steady your hands on his thighs.
Suguru cusses out a loud ‘fuck’ as his hands move to your hair, gripping at your strands to steady your movements.
“Hello?” You can hear Satoru's confused tone.
“Sorry… I hit my… elbow.” Suguru speaks into the phone, almost mumbling the excuse, eyes closing as he tries to collect his thoughts.
“Happy birthdayyyyyy best frienddd!” You hear the blondie's sing-song squeal.
“Thank you Satoru.” Suguru says rather plainly, trying to sound as serious as he can. You’re determined to break him though, so you suck him the way only you know makes him lose his mind each time.
He moans as his hand wraps around your hair to take it in a makeshift ponytail. He yanks it… you know it's his way of asking you to behave. 
“I was honestly gonna knock on your door with a cake at midnight… but my favourite bakery was closed since the owner's away… thankfully, she'll be here tomorrow so I'll see you in the morning with only the best cake ever! Soooo what were you up to?” you hear Satoru's rambling on the other end, loving that him being so talkative is wearing Suguru’s patience out.
Your hands move to massage his balls and the base of his cock while your head bops in a steady rhythm, earning a soft groan as he moves his phone away from his face, putting it on mute. 
“Careful baby, this is your only warning.” he groans before unmuting. You release his dick with a pop.
Satoru is still going on when you hear him ask if he's the first to wish Suguru. Just as your boyfriend opens his mouth to speak, you lick at his sensitive tip, almost causing him to moan. He clears his throat to cover it up as he struggles to speak, “yeah… you are.”
“No way! So I beat your girl to it?!” Satoru rejoices.
“Yeah you did… She’s aslee- I’d hate to… wake her up… Bye.” Surugu cuts the call, not waiting for a reply. He tosses his phone to the side, eyes staring you down as you keep on blowing him.
“Baby, if you enjoy having your face stuffed so much…” his grip on your hair tightens while his other hand caresses your cheek briefly, deceitfully gentle, “... let me show you how it’s done.” 
Before you can register his words, you feel his dick hit the back of your throat, tears instantly welling in your eyes. You choke, letting out a few muffled moans and whimpers as he face fucks you, taking back his control.
The intensity feels too much but not enough for you to bail just yet. For times like these, where you cannot speak, you had a safe gesture, tapping his ass thrice on repeat… he’d protested initially by suggesting you do something else but you’d justified it by saying this was the only action that would seem out of place. He has accepted by now that, when it comes to arguments, he can never really win against you. He gave in eventually, still confident you wouldn’t ever need to use it cause, “I’m sure you’ll take anything I give you like a good girl.” One would say he was being too cocky but his words were like holy scripture, you obeyed every single word. 
Within minutes, he’s warning you that he’s about to cum, since he knows you’ve never really been a fan of swallowing. He’s about to pull out to cum on your tits but you swat his hand away, surprising him by sucking him even more fervently. Such a simple action is enough to make him lose his mind. He shoots his load into the back of your throat, warm liquid filling your mouth as you struggle to swallow it all.
When he pulls his cock out, a string of saliva connects it with your lips. You bring the back of your hand up to wipe your lips while he leans down to wipe your tears off your cheeks.
As he observes the black residue of mascara on his fingers, you grip his thighs for support as you stand up. He looks back at you, “God… I love you.”
“I love you too Suguru.” you smile at him as he digs his fingers into the flesh of your thighs, pulling you closer to kiss your abdomen. You giggle and run your fingers through his hair. He brings his arms up to secure them around your lower back before tackling you to the sofa in one quick motion, moving to position himself on top of you.
“SUGURU! I almost had a heart a-” he shuts up your complaint with a kiss and you let your words melt as you kiss him back, moaning at the way his hands rake whatever area of your skin they can find.
Your hands automatically move to his hair as he leaves hungry half kisses over your neck, making his way down to one of your breasts. He licks and bites the hard bud from over your bra, causing you to whimper at the touch. He repeats the action on your other nipple as wet patches form on the fabric.
Your breath hitches when you feel two fingers rub at your clothed pussy, already wet with your arousal.
“Wait… Sugu– please, wait.” you breathe out as he rubs your folds with more pressure. 
“Baby, I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep without fucking you tonight.” he groans as his eyes find yours, his face contorted.
“Suguru, I’m not letting you sleep a wink tonight…” you reassure him, cupping his face in your hands to give him a quick peck, “... but please take me to the bedroom first, I might have another present or two for you.”
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