#not my absolute fave i've ever written but I like it!

[marshmellowtea]

giving into my baser instincts and impulsively creating an au where noah is chris's ten year old, chubby cheeked adopted son who follows him around during total drama and helps him torture their teenage contestants (much to chris's pride and joy <3)

[buckymorelikefuckme]

cry baby

bucky barnes x fem reader

words: 7.3k

warnings: **18+ ONLY** smut, edging, overstimulation, crying during sex, mentions of flushed cheeks, friends to lovers, misunderstandings, lapslock.

a/n: this is arguably one of my absolute fave fics i've ever written. she is near and dear to my heart :') i've provided the link for ao3 if you prefer to read it there! it's originally posted in two parts but i've combined them here. any and all mistakes are mine. feedback is encouraged & appreciated ♡

“the boys are running late,” natasha informs you when you make your way to the table she’s conquered in the busy cafe. “sam texted a couple minutes ago and said he and bucky got stuck in traffic.”

it’s the second tuesday of the month, which means it’s brunch day. it’s a running tradition that’s stood for the four of you since your college days. the time and place has changed over the years, but everyone does their absolute best to attend every time. these tuesdays are your favorite, naturally.

you plop into an empty chair across from her with a heavy sigh. “good, that means i have time to bitch about how fucking horny i am before they get here.”

she snorts, taking a delicate sip of her latte. “what’s new?” she wonders sarcastically.

“you don’t understand,” you begin, leaning into the table, gripping the edge tightly. “it’s been months, and not like, a few, i mean it’s coming up on a year.”

natasha’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “a year? what about that guy you went on a few dates with a while back? didn’t anything happen with him?”

“no,” you grumble, sitting back in your chair and crossing your arms. you huff. “and even if something had happened, i doubt it would have been satisfying. i can probably count on one hand the amount of times sex has been even kinda pleasurable for me.”

“sounds like you’re picking shitty partners.”

you scowl. “i know that, but it’s not my fault. all these stupid men keep promising they’re gonna fuck me ten ways to sunday and not a single one of them can even get me to wednesday.”

natasha laughs. “you poor thing.”

“you’re really not helping me here,” you whine with a pitiful pout on your lips. “you are getting routine dickings, you have sam! i am not so lucky here.” you notice her attention flicks to somewhere behind you, but you’re not finished with your rant. “nat, i’m serious. all of my sex encounters are the equivalent of asking someone to scratch my back and then they scratch literally anywhere but the spot that itches. i want to be fucked so good that i cry, just—completely reduced to tears. is that too much to ask?”

nat is hiding her smile behind her hand, amusement painted across her sharp features. someone clears their throat behind you and you pinch the bridge of your nose. sam and bucky occupy the empty seats, sam next to natasha and bucky next to you. they’re both sporting wide grins, looking far too pleased about stumbling into this conversation.

sam opens his mouth, no doubt to make a smartass comment, but you cut him off before he can get a good inhale in.

“not a fucking word,” you grouse with a finger pointed in his direction.

he presses a hand to his chest, expression offended. “i would never make a joke about your truly tragic excuse of a sex life.”

bucky snickers quietly, but turns into a cough at your glare.

“i’ll murder you,” you promise.

“leave her alone, boys,” natasha says, rolling her eyes, though she’s visibly biting back her own laughter.

you huff, digging your wallet out of your purse. “i hate all of you,” you announce before getting up and going to stand in line to order.

bucky follows a moment later, coming to stand at your side and throwing an arm around your shoulders.

“that bad, huh?” he asks.

you don’t have to look at his face to know he’s probably smirking right now.

“fuck off,” you retort, not bothering to push his arm away since you know he’d only put it right back.

“aw, come on, don’t be like that,” he jests, “you know we just like to poke a little fun.”

you roll your eyes, throwing him an exasperated look. “yeah, but that was something only nat was supposed to hear. i hate talking about sex with you and sam because you two wouldn’t understand.”

“that’s not true,” bucky insists, which makes you roll your eyes again. “it’s not!”

“first of all, sam’s got natasha, so we both know they’re more than satisfied.” bucky tilts his head in acquiescence. “and you don’t have to worry about if you’re gonna have an orgasm when you hook up with somebody. men have it so easy.”

it’s probably not the best thing to talk about in line of a busy cafe (especially since you haven’t decided between a blueberry muffin or the ham and cheese croissant, and there’s only one person ahead of you now and you’d really rather not be discussing your lack of sex in front of an innocent barista) but it sort of feels good to get this off your chest, even if it’s to bucky.

“okay, definitely not true,” he replies with a frown. “i’m not always guaranteed an orgasm.”

you give him a skeptical glance. “i find that hard to believe.”

this time, it’s bucky who rolls his eyes. “whatever, whether or not i come when i have sex with someone isn’t what i was gonna talk about when i came over here.”

the person in front of you finishes their order and then you’re stepping up for your turn.

“hi, what can i get you today?” the young barista asks with a smile.

“a large mocha iced coffee with sweet cream and a blueberry muffin, please.” you pause, contemplating, then add, “and a ham and cheese croissant.”

if you can’t get fucked within an inch of your life then food will become your lover, you reason.

“just a black coffee for me, please,” bucky tells the girl, taking his wallet out of his back pocket and handing over his card to pay before you can stop him.

“i could’ve paid for mine,” you mumble.

“you also could just say thank you,” he replies with a short laugh as he ushers you to the side to wait for your order.

you pinch his hip, pouting. “thank you.”

“why does your gratitude come with violence?” he asks, rubbing the sore spot.

“you know how i am when people do nice things for me.”

“you should be used to it by now,” he points out.

“well, i’m not,” you huff. “anyway, what did you come over here to talk about then?”

bucky reaches up to scratch the back of his neck, uncharacteristically shy all the sudden. “uh, well. i dunno, i just thought… you know, since you’re not—i mean, not that you couldn’t be, just—you haven’t been, so maybe… fuck.”

“spit it out,” you say with a giggle, wondering what in the world’s got him so tongue-tied.

“why don’t you let me?” he blurts, averting his gaze immediately after.

you tilt your head in confusion. “let you what?”

he sighs heavily, working his jaw in frustration. “you know…” he begins, digging his thumbnail into a knick on the countertop in front of you. “let me fuck you until you cry.”

“what?”

just then, your order is called. bucky quickly grabs it and turns to make his way back to the table, but you grab his arm to stop him.

“i don’t think so, you come back here right now and explain yourself,” you demand.

his eyes lift heavenward. “it’s just an idea, okay?”

“bucky, you’re talking about crossing a huge line. you can’t just throw that out all willy nilly!”

“i know,” he replies earnestly. “and it’s not—“ he grimaces at the phrasing, “willy nilly. you’re one of my best friends. i wouldn’t jeopardize that for anything, and i wouldn’t offer this if i thought that it could. this is something that’s obviously affecting you negatively in your life and i’m willing to help. i trust you, and i’m pretty sure you trust me, yeah?”

“of course i trust you,” you say, frowning.

he shrugs. “so, then it’s just… a friend helping another friend.”

“you make it sound so simple,” you muse in wonder.

“think about it?” he implores.

you swallow roughly, biting the inside of your cheek. “fine. i’ll think about it.”

he nods and walks back over to the table where sam and natasha are waiting. you hesitate for only a split second before following.

needless to say, you’re distracted for the rest of brunch.

***

you: what even makes you think you could fuck me until i cry anyway?

it’s been nearly a week, and as much as you hate to admit it, you’re actually considering taking bucky’s offer. it’s all you can think about since he brought it up. you can’t lie, you’ve always thought bucky was attractive, but ever since you were gently but firmly placed in the friend category back in university, you never allowed yourself to think of there ever being more between the two of you. he’s a wonderful friend to have and you’d have been an idiot to pass it up. bucky is kind and generous and just enough of an asshole to keep things interesting without it being a problem.

but this… this has left you reeling. why would he make such an offer after only ever keeping things strictly friendly and platonic in your relationship? and more importantly, where does he get the confidence to think he could follow through?

bucky: experience?

you make a face at your phone, furiously typing your reply.

you: ew. do you realize how douchey that sounds?

bucky: well, it’s not douchey if it’s true.

you: says you

bucky: and a few other people :)

bucky: you’d know it too if you’d let me fuck you

you exhale harshly through your nose, tapping your foot on the floor anxiously, carefully thinking of what you should say next.

you: it’s apparently a tall request, and thus far, nobody’s been able to deliver. you can understand my skepticism…

bucky: if i don’t leave you shivering and twitching with aftershocks of pleasure, in a mess of sweat and come, and tears stained on your cheeks, then i will have failed you.

your thighs squeeze together at the mental image that brings you. jesus christ, if he’s half as good at fucking as he is dirty talking then he just might do as he’s promising.

bucky: so? what do you say? wanna give it a try?

biting your lip, you give yourself a moment to weigh the pros and cons in your mind one last time.

it doesn’t take you very long to make your decision.

you: okay. we’ll try.

***

it’s a slightly overcast sunday when bucky comes over with the direct intention to fuck you. it should be weird, but strangely, all you feel is anticipation. maybe it’s because you know him so well and know that, no matter what, he’d take care of you.

(or, maybe it’s because those repressed college-aged feelings are doing their best to resurface, even though you steadfastly continue to ignore them.)

you’d taken a thorough shower earlier to ease the little bit of nerves you had when you’d woken up. cleaning up the small mess your apartment gathered over the last couple weeks helped, as well, and soon you found yourself standing in front of your lingerie drawer with your lips pursed.

you weren’t sure if you should even bother with it, but it felt you wouldn’t be putting in any effort into this encounter if you didn’t at least pick out nice underwear. so, with a pleased nod, you settle on some simple black lace panties and a matching bralette. not too much, but enough to satisfy yourself, and hopefully bucky. you pick out a simple sundress to put on over it, since you won’t be wearing much of anything once bucky gets here. that thought has you flushing, but you ignore it to put on some makeup, just to freshen up your face.

by the time he knocks on your door, you’ve already finished a glass of wine and are pouring yourself a second.

he smiles when open the door, a bit boyishly, greeting you with a quiet, “hi.”

“hi,” you return, just as soft. you open the door wider. “come in.”

he walks passed you, stopping to toe his shoes off and hang his jacket on one of the hooks.

“do you want a glass of wine?” you ask as you head to the kitchen to retrieve your own from the counter.

bucky follows, stopping in the entryway with his hands in his pockets. “no, thank you.”

you nod, taking a sip from your glass, trying to figure out what to say. the air feels a little awkward and you’re not sure how to fix it.

“nervous?” he wonders curiously.

you shake your head. “not really.”

he quirks a brow. “then what’s wrong?”

“i don’t know,” you murmur. “i guess i’m just worried we’re making a mistake.”

he hums. you take a larger sip of your wine.

with cautious steps, he comes closer to you. “what if i promise that things won’t be weird after?”

“you can’t really promise that, though.”

“sure i can,” he says, smiling. “it’s me and you. we’ve been friends for so long. plenty of people have sex and stay friends after.”

you’re not just ‘people’ to me, you think.

you sigh, frustrated with yourself. you can’t deny how badly you want this. it’s all you’ve been able to think about since that day in the cafe. but the thought of losing bucky is heartbreaking, and you don’t want your stupid horniness to be the reason that you ruin a friendship, even if he was the one to offer sex.

“why don’t we go make out on the couch for a little while first?” he suggests after a moment’s pause.

you snort, in spite of your thoughts. “like a couple of teenagers?”

his eyes crinkle on the sides when he grins. “yeah. we’ll just see how we feel about that, and if it leads to more, then…” he trails off, shrugging.

“that’s not a bad idea,” you concede.

“great! finish your wine.”

you laugh and do as you’re told, downing the little remaining wine in one go, sitting the glass down on the counter resolutely as you swallow.

“let’s do this,” you say, determined.

bucky huffs a laugh, grabbing your wrist and tugging you behind him as he makes his way to the couch. he settles slightly facing you as you tuck your legs under you beside him.

“do you wanna talk, or do you want to jump straight into it?”

“if we talk anymore i’m gonna change my mind. just kiss me already, bucky.”

“yes ma’am,” he sasses before doing exactly that.

he cups your cheek with one hand as the other is placed on your knee. he guides your face to his and kisses you chastely. you’re not sure where to put your hands at first, but you tell yourself to quit being a goober about it and place them on either side of his neck, your thumbs brushing under his jaw.

it’s an okay kiss, you have to admit, but it’s not really doing anything for you yet. he has soft lips, softer than you thought they’d be. you’re beginning to wonder if maybe this confirms you shouldn’t go any further when he tilts his head, and… hm.

he parts his lips, taking your bottom one between his, kissing it, then nipping it. you wouldn’t say the sound you make is a gasp, necessarily, but it’s close. his tongue lightly caresses the seam of your mouth and you don’t even think before you open up for him, letting his tongue sweep in, flicking against yours. you hum, scooting a tiny bit closer to him, chasing the feeling. his kisses turn insistent then, teeth biting at your bottom lip and tugging, soothing the ache with his tongue. he kisses you like a man quenching his thirst, like you’re the best goddamn thing he’s ever tasted, and it’s leaving you dizzy. you sway more into his space and he pulls away from your mouth.

“c’mere,” he whispers, gripping behind one of your knees to drag it over his hips so you’re straddling him. “much better.”

you don’t have a chance to process anything about the moment, his mouth back on yours in a blink. your fingers wind themselves into his hair, getting a good grip on it as you lick into his mouth. he lets out a soft noise at that and you try your damnedest to pry it out of him again, pressing your chest to his so there’s not even a sliver of space left between you.

his hands travel, down the sides of your torso to your thighs, back up to your hips where he holds on tight. it doesn’t take long after that before you find yourself grinding into him. you both moan at the same time, breaking the kiss to pant for breath.

you swallow roughly. “okay,” you murmur, “i think it’s safe to say this could work.”

bucky laughs quietly. “yeah? wanna move to your bed then?”

your squeeze your thighs around him, shifting minutely on his lap and feeling the beginnings of his erection beneath you. “yes,” you breathe.

quickly, you rise from your position and step back, allowing bucky to stand, then grab his hand and lead him to your bedroom. once you’re standing beside your bed, you turn to face him. he meets your halfway, pulling you into another, filthier kiss. you reach for his belt buckle, unfastening it and sliding it through the loops, tossing it to your floor. next are the button and zip of his jeans, shoved down his legs until he steps out of them and kicks them and his socks aside. he obediently lifts his arms when you slide your hands under his shirt and begin pushing it up, breaking the kiss to nearly yank it off, making bucky huff in amusement. once it’s tossed with the rest of his clothes, bucky grabs fistfuls of your dress and pulls you into him.

“my turn,” he says against your lips.

carefully, bucky helps you out of your dress, eyes raking over every bit of new skin shown to him. he bites his lip when he sees your lacy underthings.

“you got all dolled up for me?” he asks.

shifting under his stare, you nod. “wanted to look nice,” you admit.

he hums. “beautiful.”

he kisses you again, a little softer than before, but no less passionate. the urgency returns as he backs you up until your thighs hit the mattress. gently, he guides you onto your back, never breaking the kiss as he follows you down and settles over you.

you soon find yourself in need of air and pull away with a gasp. bucky is undeterred and instead presses his kisses down your jaw, to your neck where he decides to bite and suck until he’s left a mark you’ll have to reprimand him for later. he licks his way up to your ear, sucking the lobe into his mouth, drawing a whine out of you.

“bucky,” you whisper, hands gripping his sides as you squirm below him.

“hm?”

you close your eyes tightly when he makes his way back down to your collarbones.

“please,” you whimper.

“please what, sweetheart?” he asks, pushing himself up to look you in the eye.

“t-touch me,” you beg, cheeks flushing.

his lips quirk into a smile. “i am touching you.”

“bucky,” you whine.

“where do you want me to touch you, hm?” he wonders. one of his hands trails across your shoulder and down the center of your chest. “here? or… here?”

when his fingers glide, barely there, over your pebbled nipples, you push into the touch eagerly.

“or…” he continues, his feather light touch making a path down your stomach. your breath quickens in anticipation. “here?” he murmurs as his fingertips stop on your pantyline.

“yes, there, anywhere,” you agree hastily, “just —please. please, bucky, don’t tease me.”

he kisses you again, deep, full of promise. “you beg so prettily for me.”

he rearranges your positions until he’s between your spread thighs, sweeping his hands across the inside of them. he nods to your panties.

“may i?”

“yes, please,” you reply, lifting your hips to help him take them off.

he doesn’t give you a chance to close your legs in shyness, firmly grasping your knees in each of his hands and spreading them once again. the way he’s looking at you makes you feel unbelievably desirable, has excitement crawling up your spine.

“don’t forget,” you remind him, making his eyes flick up to yours in question, “you better make me cry.”

a slow, dangerous smile graces his lips. your stomach swoops eagerly.

~

a whine, high pitched and drawn out, escapes your lips. after you unwittingly challenged him, bucky took it upon himself to torture you—with sex. so far, he’s only used his fingers on you, in you, thrusting them steadily but never enough to bring you to climax. he’s taking his time and being a smug prick about it. you go to complain, again, hoping if you beg enough he’ll let you come, but before you can do more than open your mouth he’s quickening his pace.

“oh!” you gasp, clutching the sheets in your hands.

bucky slides his hand down your thigh, bringing his thumb inward to swipe around where his other fingers are buried inside you to gather your wetness and using it to rub circles on your clit. your back arches, head thrown back against your pillows as you feel your orgasm build. it’s not tears, but damn, it feels good enough.

just as you start to clench around his fingers, legs spasming, he stops.

your eyes open in a hurry, brows furrowing in confusion. “no, please, don’t stop,” you plead.

bucky smiles. “i gotta get the right build up.”

you groan in frustration. he laughs quietly and lets the inferno burning within you simmer down to embers, then starts inching his way down until he’s lying on his stomach, mouth poised above your pussy. the feel of his warm breath makes you shiver, and with no warning whatsoever, he leans in and sucks your clit into his mouth.

“fuckin’—oh my— bucky!”

you’re pretty sure you black out for the next several minutes, the only thing you’re aware of is the thudding of your heartbeat in your ears and the feel of bucky’s mouth on you. you’re lost in a mindless haze of pleasure, unable to think or feel anything else. you feel your orgasm cresting for the second time, and just as before, bucky pulls away before you can succumb to it.

“why,” you hiccup on a moan, wanting nothing more than to just come already, but he’s not letting you.

he shushes you, softly kisses your knee. sitting up to take his underwear off, bucky keeps his eyes on you, expression hungry.

“gonna take care of you, sweetheart,” he promises. “just a bit more. you’re being so good for me, yeah?”

“please,” you whimper, feeling completely pathetic.

he makes quick work of putting a condom on and then settles between your thighs. you sigh in relief when he wastes no time and pushes in, being careful not to go too fast. once he’s fully inside you, he pauses, wanting to give you time to adjust, but you’re back to whining.

“bucky, please, please just—fuck me,” you beg, squirming beneath him.

he takes mercy on you, finally, and sets a hard pace. your hands fly up to push against the headboard, moaning and gasping from his harsh thrusts, loving the stretch of him inside you. his thumb is back on your clit and you cry out, clenching hard around him, but his thrusts don’t falter. all too soon, you can feel yourself getting close. you hear your own voice chanting please, please, please, mixed in with bucky’s grunts and the sound of him fucking you.

you whimper, eyes squeezed shut as your climax hits the point of no return, crashing over you in waves. you think you might scream, but it’s hard to pay attention to anything other than the overwhelming pleasure coursing through you. part of you thinks this’ll be it, bucky will come now and then you’ll have had one of the best orgasms of your life and he’ll be on his merry way home. but no, that’s not what happens.

instead, bucky keeps thrusting relentlessly into you, dragging out your pleasure to the point of oversensitivity.

“s’too much,” you breathe, gasping for air.

bucky shakes his head, face contorted in concentration. “one more,” he tells you, voice gruff and deep.

unbelievably, you feel tears beginning to gather in the corners of your eyes. bucky’s still rubbing your clit, still keeping a steady rhythm of his hips, and fuck, he’s so beautiful. you watch him fucking you, wondering how the fuck you got to this moment, how you got lucky enough to bear witness to the sight of bucky fucking, let alone be the one he fucks. his body is ridiculous, looking like it’s carved from marble. you know how much strength it holds, as well, know that if he really wanted to, he could probably fuck you against a wall.

it’s with that thought, with the added bonus of the way bucky touches you, looks at you, like you’re something treasured and gorgeous, giving you such intense pleasure, that the tears threatening to spill over finally fall from your lashes.

bucky notices, because of course he does, and he thrusts into you just a little faster, a little harder, and your body seizes up and then you’re falling into another orgasm. it spreads through your veins, slow like honey, making sure this one settles deep into your bones. bucky groans as he, too, reaches climax, hips twitching into you in aftershocks until he stops moving altogether.

you both pant for breath, sweat gathered in every crevice on your bodies. you think you won’t be able to move for the rest of the weekend.

“need to pull out,” bucky says softly, breaking the moment.

you nod and he carefully pulls his hips back, grunting. you poorly suppress a whimper and close your legs, already hating the empty feeling.

“well,” he starts, plopping himself on his back next to you, “i think i deserve some kind of reward.”

when you turn to face him with an exasperated look, he’s got his arms crossed behind his head, a smug smile across his lips.

“how about i don’t kick you in the balls? how’s that for a reward?”

“i literally just did the impossible.”

“what, made me come twice? i can do that all on my own. you’re not special,” you retort with a huff.

he scoffs. “i fucked you so good you cried.”

“you can’t prove it,” you say to the ceiling.

“keep up this attitude and i won’t do it again,” he threatens, poking you in your side.

you wiggle away from the ticklish touch while trying to tamp down on the hope bubbling in your chest.

“oh, we’re doing this again, are we?” you say as casually as possible.

he rolls his eyes. “of course we are. now,” he sits up in your bed, stretching his arms as he stands and picks up his underwear, “i’m starving. wanna order takeout?”

well, you guess if you’d been worried about any kind of awkwardness before, you shouldn’t have. this is bucky, your best friend. he’d never let things change between you.

***

except, things kinda change between the two of you.

it’s not very noticeable at first, changes so subtle you miss them, until one day he showed up at your apartment and greeted you with a kiss. you stood frozen in your doorway as he rambled about how stressful his day had been as he kicked his shoes off. it was only when you heard him calling out from the kitchen that he was gonna eat your leftovers that you snapped out of it, yelling back that you’d kick his ass if he even touched your dumplings.

another day, he facetimes you and asks if you want to go to see that new movie you’ve been talking about.

“oh,” you’d said. “are nat and sam coming, too?”

he’d given you a funny look, replied, “no, i thought it would just be us two.”

“oh,” you said again. “okay.”

so you’d gone to the movies, let him buy you buttery popcorn and peanut m&m’s and a soda bigger than your head. he shared with you, despite your protests, and halfway through the film you felt his hand settle on your thigh. you blinked and stared at it for a beat, turning to him in question. he only smiled at you briefly before focusing back on the movie.

in between all of this, you continued calling him over for sex. honestly, how could you not? as much as you didn’t want to admit it to him, he was the best you’ve ever had. and if he’s so willing, why shouldn’t you take advantage while you can?

a week ago, though, you’d texted him and asked him to come over, replying to his question of what time and then started getting ready. you’d purchased a new piece of lingerie, a periwinkle babydoll nightie, that left very little to the imagination. it had a matching pair of panties and felt soft and luxurious on your skin. you’d taken extra time to do your hair and makeup, wanting to look like sex on legs, and you’re pretty sure you succeeded.

but when he got there and you answered the door in your sexy outfit, he didn’t see it right away. in one hand he held his phone, typing something on it, and in the other hand he held a grocery bag that you eyed curiously.

“i brought stuff to make spaghetti—“

when he did finally look up, his eyes widened and traveled the length of your body several times. you bit your lip, trying and failing to hold back your smile.

“how about we skip dinner?” you’d said, fisting his nice button-up shirt and dragging him inside your apartment. you grabbed the grocery bag from his hand and sat it on the floor, absently noting he was wearing his date jeans.

whoops, you’d thought, hope i didn’t pull him away from someone important.

you hadn’t let yourself dwell on it, standing up on your tippy toes and kissing him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. he’d returned the kiss, licking into your mouth, drawing your tongue out so he could suck on it and made you moan embarrassingly loud.

“wait,” he’d murmured, “we should eat first.”

“or, you could eat me,” you’d retorted with a giggle.

he groaned like it pained him to say no, gripped your hips hard and put a tiny bit of distance between you. the look in his eyes had made you want to find the nearest flat surface and bend over.

“why don’t you be a good girl for me, hm? let me cook dinner for us and after we eat i’ll fuck you however you want me to. okay, sweetheart?”

you whined, but ultimately agreed, knowing he’d make it worth it.

and then there’s tonight, where he came over unannounced, armed with groceries again and promising to cook you the best meal you’ve ever had. to say you were confused would be an understatement, but you also didn’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth.

it’s just… well, bucky’s not really acting like a friend with benefits. sure, you hung out alone with him all the time before, but he never once cooked you dinner, and he certainly never helped wash dishes after. you guess the hello kisses could be explained away as part of the new aspect of your relationship, but something about that didn’t sit quite right with you.

after a truly delicious dinner, you find yourself on the couch with bucky as he scrolls through netflix to find a movie to put on.

“what do you want to watch?” he asks.

“mm,” you mumble, shifting closer to start kissing his neck, “don’t care.”

as he narrows down his decision and finally picks one, you make your way up to his jaw, sucking a small mark into the skin there.

“baby,” he protests softly, “let’s just watch the movie, yeah?”

you pull back, confused. first at the pet name, then at his words. he’s never denied you before, which isn’t to say that he can’t, it’s just that he’s always seemed on board. and, you know, you thought that was kind of the whole point of this thing.

“okay,” you reply after a moment.

he gives you a smile and a sweet kiss, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you into his side to cuddle. you can’t help but frown, feeling like you’re missing something, but not knowing what it could be.

it doesn’t take long for drowsiness to creep up on you. before he showed up, you had planned on probably ordering out for dinner and going to bed early since you’d had a pretty rough day. in fact, you remember texting bucky about it just that afternoon. your eyelids get heavier and heavier, finding it harder to keep them open as the seconds pass. your head droops and in the next blink, you’ve fallen asleep.

you’re not sure how much time has passed when bucky wakes you, but you groan, pouting and burrowing into his shoulder more.

he huffs a laugh. “c’mon, sweetheart, let’s get you to bed.”

“don’ wanna move,” you mumble tiredly.

“i’ll carry you,” he offers. “up you go, baby.”

you half heartedly argue about being jostled, but let him carry you to your bed where he carefully places you, helping you out of your sweatpants and pulling your blankets up around you. you sigh in content, feeling yourself already drifting back into sleep. you hear bucky shuffling, but think nothing of it until the bed dips beside you, then feel his warm body slide in underneath the covers and press in close.

“goodnight, darlin’,” he murmurs.

you’d ask him what in the word he’s doing, but sleep is just far too enticing to ignore. you fall into slumber with bucky’s warmth along your back, his arm draped over you.

the next morning, you wake to the feeling of his fingers playing with the tiny bow on the front of your panties and his lips placing gentle kisses on your shoulder. you hum, eyes still closed, in the back of your mind thinking this is a nice way to wake up. at the sound of you, his touches get firmer, more insistent.

“good morning,” he rasps, breath tickling your ear.

you don’t really get a chance to reply. he dips his fingers into your panties, making you inhale sharply, moaning as you buck into his hand. he fingers you for a while, kissing along the column of your throat, biting and sucking marks into the skin there. when you’re begging him for more, he relents, eases your panties off and lifts your leg to slide in from behind. the angle is so nice it has you gasping.

you clutch the sheets weakly, burying your face in your pillow and muffle your whines and moans. bucky keeps a slow, lazy rhythm, acting as if he’s got all the time in the world to draw this out. it’s good, so good, and you can’t hold back your whimper when he kicks up the pace a little, tells you to touch yourself. you come seconds before he does, shuddering through it and humming happily.

as you both lie there and catch your breath, awareness trickles into your mind. you swallow roughly, staring blankly at the wall as you realize your feelings have grown far too much for this to be only casual anymore.

bucky kisses your shoulder again. “i’m gonna go make breakfast, okay? i’ll call you when it’s ready.”

“okay,” you whisper, blinking rapidly to keep tears from forming.

hearing bucky bustle around your kitchen makes your heart clench with want; want for something you can’t have.

***

bucky: dinner tonight?

you bite the inside of your cheek as you stare at the text. you know you need to cut things off with him before you get anymore hurt than you already are. it’s not fair to either of you if you continue with this arrangement when you’ve caught real feelings for him. you have to tell him, and soon. with that thought in mind, you type out a reply.

you: sure. what time?

bucky: reservations are at 8pm, i’ll pick you up by 7:45.

reservations? where was he taking you? you get another text before you can ask.

bucky: dress nice ;)

with a sigh, you text back an affirmative and try to start mentally preparing yourself for the conversation you dreaded having. you could only hope and pray that he agrees to still be your friend after.

by the time there’s a knock on your door that night, you’ve worked yourself up into an anxious mess. you open the door to see bucky standing there with a single peach colored rose and a bashful grin.

“hi,” he greets, leaning in to kiss you on your cheek. “this is for you.”

he hands you the rose and you feel your heart crack in your chest. you muster a small smile.

“thank you. let me go put this in a vase and we can head out.”

he nods and waits patiently at the door. as you fill a vase with a little water, you take a deep breath, giving yourself a mental pep talk.

this was going to suck.

the drive to the restaurant doesn’t take too long, and when you see where he’s taken you, your eyebrows shoot up. this is one of the nicer places in the city, definitely not on the affordable side. he helps you out of the car, leading you inside with his hand on the small of your back. you’re led to a small booth in a far corner with overhead lighting that feels too intimate. maybe you’d have to wait until you left to tell him…

conversation is light, a bit surface level, and you get the feeling that bucky is a little nervous. you wonder if maybe he’s gonna let you down gently first, hoping that he doesn’t, because you’d rather not cry in such a fancy restaurant.

after the waiter takes your drink orders, bucky sighs.

“okay, let me just… get this off my chest.”

oh fuck, here it goes.

“i know i’ve never really come across at the most romantic guy, especially since i’ve never felt the need to be.” he runs a nervous hand through his hair. “you’ve always been so important to me, and this last month has been so, so wonderful.”

“bucky…” you trail off, attempting to somehow stop him, but he powers through.

“i just—i never thought i’d find somebody, you know?” he says, earnest, gaze locked on yours. another crack in your heart. “especially not somebody who was my friend first, that i already had a solid foundation with. the attraction had always been there, but the friendship meant more to me, and finally allowing that to blossom into this amazing, new, fun relationship has got to be the best decision i’ve ever made.”

did he start dating someone and not tell you? oh god, has he been sleeping with someone else? at the same time? your stomach turns, eyes burning, hating yourself more and more as he speaks.

“so, i guess what i’m trying to say is,” he says, rolling his eyes at himself and smiling, “happy one month anniversary, sweetheart.”

you blink, feeling a tear slip down your cheek. “what?” you croak, beyond confused.

bucky, however, looks concerned. “baby, why are you crying?”

“i…” you blink some more, eyes flitting around the room as if you’ll get some kind of clarity that way to the situation currently happening. “what?” you repeat.

“did i come on too strong?” he asks, looking embarrassed now. “i wasn’t sure if you’d even want to celebrate, but i’ve just been so happy with you—i’m sorry, baby, i should’ve asked.”

“bucky, what are you talking about?” you finally manage, unable to keep the bewilderment out of your tone. “anniversary?”

bucky frowns. “i didn’t get the date wrong, did i?”

“no, i—this isn’t—i’m not talking about—ugh, i mean, when did we even start having an anniversary to celebrate?”

bucky’s face goes blank, sitting back in his chair. your heart is pounding wildly in your chest, so fucking confused, so fucking hopeful.

“we… we’re dating,” he says, slow, unsure. “aren’t we?”

“since when?” you ask probably too loudly, cheeks flushing.

he opens and closes his mouth a couple times. “when i asked you out?”

“bucky, oh my god, you’re gonna have to be more specific before i lose my goddamn mind. when did you ask me out?”

he huffs, his own cheeks flushing. “at the cafe! a month ago, at brunch with natasha and sam.”

your eyes widen in disbelief. “when you asked if you could fuck me until i cried?” you hiss, ignoring the scandalized look on the waiter’s face as he brings your drinks over.

smiling apologetically, you thank him and wait until he’s gone before sending a glare bucky’s way.

“that’s not how you ask a person out,” you seethe.

“i asked if you wanted to give this a try and you said yes!” he replies desperately. “i’ve taken you on dates!”

you pinch the bridge of your nose, thinking of all the times you thought he was being too romantic, more-than-friends type of behavior. you’re a fucking idiot, but god, so was he.

“at no point did you say anything even remotely close about us starting a relationship. i thought we were just fucking, bucky, i didn’t realize it was more than that!”

“you don’t—“ he starts, then stops, looking down at the plate in front of him. “you don’t want to be with me?”

“i didn’t know it was an option,” you say carefully.

“well, it is.” he meets your gaze, cautious. “i just spilled my guts to you. you know how i feel now. how do you feel? about me?”

you lick your lips. “bucky, i… i was planning to end things with you tonight.” his expression drops, even though he tries to mask it, so you’re quick to explain. “not because i don’t like you, but because i do like you and i thought you wouldn’t want anything more than just sex with me.”

“it’s never been and never could have been just sex with you,” he replies, quiet and relieved. he reaches across the table to take your hand in his. “i meant it when i said you’re the best decision i’ve ever made. i want this—the sex, the dinners, dates, all the gross and sappy shit i never wanted before… i want it all with you, if you’ll have me.”

you can’t fight the smile spreading across your lips. “of course i’ll have you, bucky.”

he smiles in return, a laugh bubbling out of him, which makes you giggle, until you’re both laughing so hard and loud that patrons from other tables are sending dirty looks your way, which only makes you laugh more.

“do you wanna get out of here?” you ask, laughter dying down. “there’s pizza and sex calling our names, i think.”

bucky moans dramatically. “i knew i liked you for a reason.”

he leaves money on the table and then the two of you quickly make your way through the restaurant, giggling and holding hands the whole way, even in the car.

[vagabond-umlaut]

Your Sukuna fic recs? pretty please? 🥺🥺

ofc nonnie! i nvr ever turn down an opportunity for showing (few of) my fave authors their much well-deserved love, respect & attention! 😊😊🫶🫶

ryomen sukuna x reader fic recs (I)

‣ this is merely a list of works i've enjoyed reading. kindly heed the tags and warnings in each of them and consume content responsibly, at your own discretion. ‣ that being said, i own neither these fics nor the characters. enjoy reading! 🥰

⇌ Conquest (SukunaXReader) (series) by JellyBelly531 on ao3 [I can't say anything on this series here, except, to request you to read this— provided you're fine with the tags and warnings the author has given. This is an absolute delight for those who love Trueform!Sukuna set in a canon-y historical backdrop. A 200% masterpiece, I'm tellin' ya! :))]

⇌ Sukuna with reader whos just dumb (hcs) by @poe-daydreams on tumblr [Humor, Fluff, Humor, Fluff, Humor— Comedy at its finest :D]

⇌ rhymes (oneshot) by @tender-rosiey on tumblr [Tooth-rotting fluff ft. Dad!Sukuna and his adorably menacing attitude xDD]

⇌ Tribe leader/Viking Sukuna (hcs) by @yuujispinkhair on tumblr [Terrifying 'Kuna + Charming 'Kuna + Protective 'Kuna + Soft 'Kuna + Husband 'Kuna + Dad 'Kuna— what more do you need, hmmm? ^_^]

⇌ Black Magic (twoshot) by sukirichi on ao3 [Arranged Marriage with Enemies-to-Lovers dynamics and Scary™️ Househusband 'Kuna— an ALL TIME FAVOURITE FIC of mine, for sure ^_^]

⇌ Little Monster (oneshot belonging to a series) by @lemonlover1110 on tumblr [A sweet combination of the tropes: Dad!Sukuna & Sukuna being Sukuna. I really love the way 'Kuna is in-character in this fic :))]

⇌ to satiate, seduce, and to sin. (oneshot) by @poe-daydreams on tumblr [For the twisted-yet-loving!Sukuna fuckers lovers like me ;)]

⇌ To the end (7 chapters) by @yuujispinkhair on tumblr [One Of THE very best Zombie Apocalypse AUs I've ever read. Please keep tissues close to you for the sad tears, then the happy tears. I ugly-cried while reading this, no kidding :))]

⇌ 7/11 (oneshot) by astreaborn on ao3 [Perfect way to lift your spirits, if you're ever feeling down. The characterizations are so well written... Just go read it, please. You will not regret it— I'm 10^10 times sure of this!! :))]

⇌ "make me (yours)." (oneshot) by @ancient-vivarium on tumblr [Age gap romance with rich older bf!Sukuna, ft. slow burn, fluff and SPICE— this is what one should call GIRL BREAKFAST, LUNCH & DINNER! ;DD]

[lenakluthor]

totally random question but do you read supercorp fics? and if yes, which ones are your favorites?

i absolutely read supercorp fics! i've been devouring ao3 basically since i finished the show. here are a few of my faves: people will say we're in love by AKAWWJJD - this was recommended to me by a friend and was the second ever supercorp fic i read. it's angsty, but it's BEAUTIFUL and it's one of my favorite fics from any fandom, ever. it's basically a rewrite of crisis and the aftermath of that (with a heartbreaking, post-reveal beginning), and it's just so, so good. it really set the bar for me in terms of supercorp fics and i still think about it to this day. it's heartbreaking and poignant and just. perfect.

the banks of certain rivers and ever more light by @i-am-robie - these two go together, but if you only read one, read ever more light (although i highly suggest reading both). i found this one through a gifset based on the fic, and i am SO happy i did. this is the fic that made me believe in fluff again. i'm not kidding, before i found this fic, if it wasn't tagged as angst, i was not reading it. this one? completely changed my opinion. it's so soft and sweet and it gives you the same butterflies and good feelings kara gets around lena. i actually love these so much that i am in the process of binding them into a book.

same old blues by @searidings - this one is, in my opinion, hands down the best portayal of lena i've read so far. it captures her anger and hurt and emotions so well and it just feels exactly like lena. it picks up after the end of season four and is exactly how i imagine lena's reaction to kara being supergirl. obviously it's canon divergent, but this one just really nails lena. it's angsty and emotional and just SO good. the author describes it as "horny enemies to lovers" in their note and that really sums it up pretty well.

you're in my blood, like holy wine by @jazzfordshire - this one is one of my favorite AUs. it's a loose practical magic AU with witch!lena, but much more developed and fleshed out than in the show. not only does it have really well written supercorp, but it also showcases a really well done friendship between lena and sam. i'm gonna be real i'm very picky about AUs, but this one GOT me. i definitely recommend it.

i also highly recommend checking out all four of those authors' other works. robie has an AU that i really enjoyed, searidings has a fun little competitive supercorp one shot, jazzfordshire has one of my favorite smutty one shots, and AKAWWJJD has a mxy rewrite that is just wonderful.

i've read so many more that were really worth reading, so i highly recommend scrolling through the supercorp tag on ao3 and filtering out the results to find ones you might be into. i could've mentioned a bunch more that i enjoyed, but i figured i'd keep it to my top four and the honorable mentions because the authors all happened to have multiple i love. i've also got like, more than 40 open ao3 tabs currently, so i know my favorites list will definitely be growing.

[himejoshiangels]

Duke Thomas fic rec list

I've scowered every tag relating to him, combed thru the 'duke centric tag' at least 8 times, this is what ive come back with, at least my personal faves

necessary reminders - duke pov, outsider pov, and some social media following duke as he gets used to his day job as a vigilante. flows really well, has a good balance of sad and happy, and gets dukes character rlly well

that which you cannot bear - THIS FIC WILL BREAK YYOU duke is kidnapped and its only down from there!! this is like, one of the first duke fics I read and it's still labeled as such in my mind. its well based, sooo cohesive plot wise, and stays completely in character w all its characters, especially duke, while exploring such an interesting facet of him > his tendency to self-isolate, insistence on being independent, and his stubbornness. sooo much good angst just incredible stuff while also staying hopeful and grounded. ALSO duke is an intelligent badass throughout the fic which is an important detail 2 me

signal, n. a divine act - same author as the last one, absolutely insane concepts are explored and its just so well written srsly it's like poetry. digs into some of dukes ideologies so well. if u like holy imagery??? kind of but not rlly?? ig you'll love this

this whole series is just so fucking incredible but something about my bodies made of crushed little stars I don't fucking know it messed w my brain chemistry, I've recced it b 4 bcs it made me cry but read the whole series, it's all duke centric and just so good. Saki writes bruce and duke in a way that fizzes u up w emotion and focuses on such unique facets of dukes character/dynamics and sleep well my little sunshine is soo cute and fun and soft >when earth finds the stars - bonus presignal duke and jason fic, balances being incredibly fun with a realistic zoom in on duke before we are robin. he's quippy and witty and always at the edge of his rope

not mutually exclusive - tired of bruce being kinda shoved into the role of dukes capital F father when that's not quite what their dynamic is? Then this is the fic for you!! Just good duke and Bruce interactions overall, it's sad and hilarious with just incredible dialogue and peak Bruce and Duke interactions

signals and symptoms - a classic sickfic and like one of my fave bruce bonding fic ever ever EVERRR!! really introspective abt dukes character and just so well done

even exchanges - some of u are gonna hate me for reccing an incomplete fic and esp one that doesn't look like it's gonna be finished anytime soon but even exchanges is so formative to my duke characterizationalong with portraying such a fascinating dynamic w him and his new family. it delves into his messy and angsty experiences pre-becoming the signal and is overall written like several subsequent punches to the stomach. promise ur gonna bitch and moan about this fic as much as I do

scientific method - extremely cute fic, watch Duke bond w the bats and slowly get more comfortable with them over time as they all tru to figure out what the fuck this guys powers are. Really fun dynamic wise, the dialogue is crafty and captures the familiarity between the characters. Really realistic about day to day vigilante life and how genius the bats truly are. really slice of life fluffy shit w some bonus sciencey stuff

turn my voice human torch remind people what I’m fantastic for - truly a classic, Duke invites cass to slam poetry night. short n sweet I LOVE BUMBLEBATS RAHHHHHH

tradition - pure duke n bruce ice cream fluff

meal prep - real sad angst one shot ft. alfred

occupational health and safety violations - duke pov reverse robins but it's way out of order

write about flowers (at a time like this) - duke and dick fic where they meet pre we are robin. yes I just found this one yesterday yes I'm absolutely obsessed. it characterizes him so well and understands his thought process and motives and UGHH just tune in yall

sidequest: the viper pit - WE ARE ROBIN DND JUMANJI

signals of fear and hope - duke centric reverse robins, caters TTOME specifically it's so fire

and now here are fics that arent duke centric but he's in it and in character/well written and now forced into the back of the room aka some of my general faves that feature duke

gotham aviary - the batman fic where he just adopts a bunch of em truly adorable like the cutest thing you'll read

I walk the streets at night (with monsters in my mind) - dragon fic, absolutely goated 10/10

fight, flight - cass centric but duke plays a big role, they mean everything to me

[offside-the-lines]

MattDrai Fic Recs

So @irrelevanttous and @puckthisshift sent me the ask meme prompt for "what my favorite Mattdrai fic is" and I went on a JOURNEY lemme tell ya. I ended up figuring out how to download my AO3 history (in which I discovered that in the last year, I've read like literally 50% of all the MattDrai fics ever written) to help me figure out what my faves were. So here are some (most? I hope?), split into categories.

General Faves:

head above water by yourblues (@msmargaretmurry) 🔒 (E, 91.1k) This might be one of the best pieces of RPF ever written; it's a classic. I have visited this fic literally 21 times. It has everything: stupidity, pining, incredible sex, falling for each other, also more stupidity. Chapter 6 literally rips my entire soul out every time. I think this fic permanently altered my brain chemistry. It's a perennial re-read.

only fools rush in by @bropunzeling 🔒 (E, 94.9k) This is another fic that is a Must Read for HRPF as a whole. The entire time, I just want to reach through the screen and wring both of their necks for being so incredibly dense. And I love everything about this, especially just the way it's written is so incredible.

Growing Into Someone by @blaahaj 🔒 (E, 46.5k) God, I love this fic so much, I come back to it all the time. I think this must've been one of the first Mattdrai works I read. But I just love how natural the initial tension is, and how inevitable their falling in love is, and how the climax happens and resolves is just so incredible.

Undo Falling for You by crookedsilence (@csblogs) 🔒 (T, 16.1k) This is an AU I guess? I put it in this section because it's Hanahaki, so like only kinda AU. Either way, I am obsessed with this! It is just emotionally perfect. Highly recommend.

rough dream? by reticent 🔒 (M, 7.2k) So, this fic is probably the most "out there" suggestion because of the warning (I'll get to that part) but this fic is literally the most perfect microcosm of what Mattdrai fics tend to have: pining, lack of communication, falling in love while being terrified of falling in love, etc. This is a time loop fic where Matthew is stuck in the time loop but it's told from the perspective of Leon. It is absolutely incredible. I think about this fic ALL THE TIME. The warning is for a suicide, but no "actual" character death because the time loop resets.

i'll tell you when to stop by dogjuice 🔒 (E, 39.6k) (McMattDrai) This is the real answer to 'what fic do you send people if they want to get into MattDrai'. I have sent this to so many people because it is perfect. Everything about this is perfect. Matthew's internal dialogue and his anxiety, and his perception of what's happening. The second half of the fic is so well-written and suspenseful. Something I feel it will give me a heart attack even though I've read it like 10 times.

Future Fics

Saving the Best for Last by @puckingtrash 🔒 (E, 100.1k) This is the fic that made me obsessed with Future Fics of current rivals. There's just a level of camaraderie and understanding that happens after that many years in the same league; it doesn't matter how much beef you had. And this fic is just so incredible. I love thinking about what these guys do after retirement. A must read IMO.

home by now by daisysusan (@hopetorun) 🔒 (E, 102.3k) Probably one of the best fics. I love the way this builds up and keeps you on edge. It really mirrors how Matty feels, just this general unease of knowing something is wrong but not knowing what. The laying of the pining with the hurt and confusion is just so well done.

back to where we lasted by @ohtemporas 🔒 (E, 34.4k) Trade fics are always so interesting with these two. Especially in the situation where they are exes. And one of them (Leon in this case) has fucked up greatly, and they need to figure out how to get past it because neither of them are over it. Or in this case, figure out how to do it again, but properly.

Old Flames Burn Brighter by @cisumox (E, 25k) I love this fic so much because of the way they are both clearly affected by what happened and how much they still want to love each other. I think about this one al the time. Warning: this does involve a career ending injury.

settle down in the Sunshine State by @puckthisshift 🔒 (E, 14.7k) This has my fave Mattdrai trope where one of them is a fucking idiot, and is so in their head about it. And they have absolutely no idea what literally every single other person knows. In this case, it's Matthew. I absolutely love this fic. I read it all the time.

gather your broken lessons and move by rumandwhine 🔒 (E, 30.5k) This one is super interesting because it doesn't involve a trade, or them in the same place. It is the same as it was before, but different. How are they doing to figure out what went wrong and how are they going to make sure they don't make the same mistakes? They are older now, but are they any less stupid. Keep reading to find out. (Also featuring an absolutely hilarious situation with Drai and his rookie).

AUs

linger by @bropunzeling 🔒 (E, 65.5k) (Omegaverse) This is another all timer. It is so incredible: the way they are just so inexplicably drawn to each other, and obsessed but so worried about their obsession. And the way Leon treats Matthew as something really special from the beginning (and how Matthew just doesn't seem to pick up on that). The way that things build towards the climax, with the ASG 2023 moment (which makes me want to rip my eyeballs out every time; it HURTS). It has all the best parts of omegaverse and explores their relationships with their dynamics so thoughtfully.

whatever promises I made by @puckthisshift 🔒 (E, 360k) (Omegaverse) Yet another all timer for the genre as a whole. The way that omegaverse is explored here is so interesting. It was the fic that really got me on board with the AU. It is so core to the way the characters interact with each other and the world, and the inherent traumas it brings really parallels some of the experiences of populations in the real world (e.g. women).

so is the longing by dogjuice 🔒 (E, 44.7k) (Omegaverse) When I tell you I have read this fic sooooo many times. It is so so good (and so hot). Matthew is so incredibly oblivious and Leon is pining so hard and down soooooo bad. I think Leon's love for Matthew can be seen from like Alpha centauri and yet Matthew totally misses it (among other things). This is SO good.

Egos and Eligibility by @puckthisshift 🔒 (E, 91.1k) (Regency & Omegaverse) I will continue to suck up to my good friend Iris LOL. But seriously, I read this before I even knew it was her and I love it so much. I adore Regency Matthew and the way Leon is literally ever MMC from the era (Mr Darcy) is so funny to me (why so pissy Leon). Regency is such a perfect setting for the Omegaverse tropes of courting and, also again, exploring the societal impact of having these dynamics in play. I think the part where Matthew goes into heat is SO funny and well written. Bridgerton wishes.

Royal Pain by lavender_hazyy 🔒 (E, 48.9k) + Sequel Rules of Engagement (E, 37.8k) (Medieval/Royalty/Bridgerton/Robin Hood) That sounds like the most bonkers combination of things, but it's truly so so so good. I recommend this one SO much. It's so much fun to read, and their interactions are so funny. Poor Connor is always experiencing the Horrors in the background. Everything about this is perfection. THE FUCKING LOVE LETTERS OMG.

bittersweet and strange by @puckthisshift 🔒 (E, 53.4k) (Fairytale Curses) Will I ever stop thinking about this? Probably not. :) I think so much of this is a metaphor for the "beast" that Matthew portrays himself to be (maybe believes himself to be) irl. Also, I will never get enough of Taryn as a character; she is just incredible. I will literally never forget the reveal at the end (and ever villain I ever write will be henceforth inspired by you). (Also, curly haired tiger Matthew, you will always be real to me. Leon + me *handshake emoji* wanting to tough Matthew's fur).

I honestly don't even think this is ALL of the Mattdrai fics I think about regularly/reread regularly. But these are at least a lot of them. There are also so many good recommendation lists on this website when you search for "mattdrai fic recs" that will include even more fics than the ones I've selected.

Legitimately, thank you to all Mattdrai writers out there for being the fucking GOATs. I don't know what I would be reading if not this.

[fruityindividual]

sash's *bangs gavel* divorce!! recs

lil collection of some faves + tbr's for anyone keen for fics of the sickeningly fond wolfstar exes variety <3

hurling crowbirds at mockingbars @wrapped-up

jesus where 2 begin. the 'then' vs 'now' of it all GAH.. it's sweet and funny and angsty and beautifully written. the characterisations n lil details n the Jealousy.. laurv when rj lupin is w someone else cos we're all like 'hm. sure.' n sirius is all 'sure well. for now.' massive ty 2 @whorerific for reccing this one!!

dreaming of after @del-stars

perusing the r/s + divorce search tab as one does, this one caught me off guard i was NOT PREPARED 2 luv it as much as i did.. sirius my LUV. the angst the miscommunication the lovely ending. well i sure did enjoy this one. the most divorced un-divorced couple 2 ever never divorce undivorceably

rolling in the deep @kaaaaaaarf

present 4 me!!! karfster, whilsttt ur hatefuck r/s saga has my heart, this is delish!! SAUR hot angry n unhinged n i'm v glad u shared this w us. ur writing is..mhm it's just so. like so very. x

orange juice (i've been ready for you to come home for so long) -raggedypond

lads. lads this fic bangs. miscommuncation? No communication!! giggled kicked my feet they should never communicate ever actually. they should exclusively use smoke signals at night or whtevr they should always b this frustrating n wonderful.. luv this lil thing v v much

fault lines @greyeyedmonster-18

think abt this one all. the. time. they're so sickeningly fond of each other.. the depth of their relationship is just. well i don't cry when reading but i rlly wanted 2 w this one. r/s separate n raise harry n well. this is a 4evr fave.. heartbreaking n soso heartwarming n beautiful

bound (series) -shiftylinguini

will always n 4evr rec this series. exes 2 luvrs bby the girls they r fighting!!! angry sirius eeeek.. smiling just thinkin abt when i read this for the first time.. sirius comes back from the veil n his ex-husband has married his cousin n absolutely no one is having a nice time. well. well that's not- [major moon emoji]

here we are again -dykesiriusblack

this was the first r/s muggle au i read so don't remember it teww well but. sexually charged wine tasting ('i tell u wht folks that is really nice. that is- that is bloody loveleh') .. the memories, the banter, the lovely awkwardness of 'hi it's me. n u. well here we fucking are again' ....whimpering

a grave mistake @soloorganaas

PA-LEEK !! another sirius is back from the dead au n rj lupin (chronic loserboygenius extraordinaire) has married his ex-husband's cousin (swotting his nose w a newspaper).. oh they're so messy n flawed n wonderful. (also. well. this fic is rlly hot. mhm.) HEARTBREAKING n LOVELY fic

of memories and milk thievery @mayescapade

if u haven't read this i assume u live under a v hard, soundproof rock. deserves every single bit of love .. it Bangs. silly ex-husbands steal each other's groceries n veg n it's all soso fun n beautiful.. luv it so bad, they should divorce again i think

what's in the tbr....

penciled in -nordicsun

think i'll be leaving sum big fat comments on this. it's this feeling i have.

through the gaps of sunlight @pancakehouse & art by @belleandsaintsebastian

victorian exes2luvrs r/s. r u JOKING. wht the heck this looks gorgeous

right back where we started from @soloorganaas

magic + divorce ..HIHELLOHOWRUUU. cannot believe i haven't begun this yet

you can have this heart to break @anouri

yas, u can deffo have my heart 2 break, this looks delish

labyrinth @mayescapade

'he wasn't you.' .....biting my lip.

read the tags, leave the authors love, etc.. kay bye <3

[wileys-russo]

a date to remember p2 II m.earps x reader

writing this had me giggling and kicking my feet, down so bad for mearps i want her as my fiance rn pls n thanks. this is genuinly one of my fave things i've written so far.

(( read part one here ))

a date to remember p2 II m.earps x reader 5.7K words

"-then we have the cake tastings, we have the finalise the menu, get all the RSVP's in so we can finish the seating charts, narrow down which florist is doing the flowers, look into DJ's, follow up with the photographer for a quote and-" you paused as you glanced to the side, seeing your fiances eyes closed and her head slumped back on the sofa, mouth slightly ajar.

"mary!" you huffed smacking at her shoulder as she suddenly sat upright in shock. "i'm awake!" the blonde exhaled deeply, rubbing at her eyes as your face softened. "sorry love, i know you're tired from training but we have to get this stuff sorted out!" you pressed a tender kiss to her lips in apology, running your hands fondly through her hair.

"we have the mid season break soon and i'll have a couple of weeks with more time freed up to help you get things done, i promise." marys hands squeezed at your hips as you nodded, pecking her lips a few times and turning to look back down at your list, your finances arms snaking around your waist, chin resting on your shoulder.

"christ the list is longer than i thought." the keeper whistled before burying her face in your neck with a slight groan as you nodded. "yeah why did we set the date before the end of the year again?" you sighed tiredly and shook your head. "because we're head over heels for one another and can't wait to be married, obviously." mary teased with a smile as you playfully rolled your eyes.

"baby lets just divide and conquer, go through things one by one and make individual lists of what we're each going to do, as well as what we have to do together." mary suggested as you hummed in agreement, shuffling back into her more and tucking your legs up to your chest, balancing your notebook on your knees.

"i wasn't lying though love, i can't wait to marry you." "feeling is forever mutual baby. just promise me something?" "for you? anything." "no tiktoks at the wedding."

"oh come on, i was actually planning to dance my way down the aisle. here look babe i'll give you a demonstration!" your fiance was quick to her feet as you leaned back into the sofa and watched on in amusement as she readied herself.

"i was thinking I'd start off slow, like a mad swaggy walk-" you put a hand over your mouth as the taller woman goofily walked back and forth across the carpet. "-then as i get near the aisle i'll bust it out into one of these-" you couldn't help but throw your head back in laughter as she began to dance like an absolute idiot, popping her chest in and out and flailing her limbs about.

"-then the grand finale, shakira!" your fiance sung out and you wolf whistled with a clap of approval as she turned around and started shaking her bum in your direction.

you shook your head with a grin as she stepped up onto the coffee table with a dead serious look, pointing to you and making a heart with her fingers before counting herself in and swiveling her hips, exactly like she had at the press conference.

"get down before you break something you dick!" you laughed as she jumped down, swiping your notebook from your hands and placing it on the floor, flopping herself down on top of you. "made you smile though, my favorite smile." mary cooed, poking at your cheeks as you lazily swatted away her hands.

"is it too late to cancel the engagement? i've not signed anything legally binding yet have i?" you teased with a smirk, your fiance rolling her eyes before grabbing your wrists and pinning them above your head. "far too late, few more months and you're stuck with me forever and ever and ever!" mary laughed evilly as you rolled your eyes at her childish antics.

"shut up and kiss me you muppet."

~

"love? i'm home! i have the folders from the caterers to look through with you." mary called out, kicking off her trainers and frowning as you didn't respond, calling out your name a few more times. 

it was as she poked her head into the kitchen that she finally found you, glancing out the window to see you and her mum sat together in the garden, the sight bringing a soft smile to her face.

"well good afternoon!" you looked up as your fiance walked out the back door with a grin, hair damp from her shower having just finished her final training session for the week before her match against villa on saturday night.

"hi darling." julie smiled, standing to wrap her daughter in a hug as the taller woman lifted her off the ground in a tight embrace causing her mum to laugh.

"hi beautiful." mary smiled down at you as you craned your head back and puckered your lips expectantly, your fiance bending down to kiss you sweetly as her mum sat back down beside you. 

"oh would you look at you two." the woman cooed with a happy sigh, sipping on her tea as mary rolled her eyes, hands sitting on your shoulders as your own came to rest atop them, the taller woman gently massaging a particularly tense knot she could feel forming.

"to what do we owe the pleasure of your visit then mother?" mary asked her mum, the woman explaining how the two of you had gone out to lunch and seen a film together today, then having gone to speak with a few florists in between. "without me?!" your fiances face shifted into an offended frown as she gasped. 

"yes, mother and daughter in laws only." julie teased as mary huffed and you tugged on her top and tapped at your lips, your fiance rolling her eyes but rewarding you with a smooch none the less. "i'm going to call your mum and take her out to lunch tomorrow then, without you." mary threatened, playfully shoving your head to the side as you grinned.

"you should really call my dad, we both know he loves you more than me anyway." you teased, the statement not entirely untrue as from the moment you'd brought her home even just as your best friend your dad had adored mary.

the man able to talk her ear off about football and cars and have her be actually interested, unlike the rest of his daughters who only entertained the topics for his benefit, he'd taken an instant liking to her and hadn't even let mary finish the question before giving her his blessing to marry you when she'd asked for it.

"oh i could take him to the united mens game tomorrow night! less has some tickets spare since her brothers aren't coming anymore." mary perked up, excusing herself to hurry inside and call your dad as you shook your head, watching her go with a soft amused smile.

~

you sighed as you wriggled yourself into the sixth dress of the day, the other five all having been met with some sort of picky negative comment or shake of the head from your bridal party who'd accompanied you today, and it was starting to wear on you that maybe you wouldn't find the right dress.

but pushing that thought down with a shake of your head you shimmied the thin silk number upwards, fixing how it sat on your neckline and doing a turn before stepping out of the change room. "i don't think its very...you." your eldest sister alex immediately commented with narrowed eyes, your mum humming in agreement as your best friends, including alessia and ella, all began to tear apart why it wasn't the right one.

with a quick nod you turned around and charged back into the change room, feeling tears of stress well up in your eyes you stripped off the dress as quickly as you could, sitting down on the stool in the corner and burying your face in your hands.

"darling? may i come in?" you heard the soft voice of your mum knock at the door and you took a shaky breath before confirming, the older woman stepping into the change rooms and looking down at you as the tears began to fall.

"oh come here." she sighed and opened her arms as you hugged her tightly, appreciating the comfort for a moment before pulling away and wiping the tears from your eyes with shaky hands, gratefully accepting the tissue offered your way.

"why are you crying silly girl? this is supposed to be a happy day!" she smiled sympathetically as you laughed, wiping at your eyes again with a sigh. 

"i am happy but it feels like theres so much left to do and nowhere near enough time to get it done and this is rapidly just becoming something else i have to get done. mary and i are both so run off our feet trying to get organised that we've hardly seen one another, the bills are piling up which is fine we're on budget but its still all just so...so stressful!" you vented, sitting back down on the stool and leaning your head back against the wall, closing your eyes for a second and taking a deep breath.

"then lean on the people you love and let us help you both! your sisters and i can help out, your friends can help out, your dads absolutely useless but he'll be there for a hug whenever you need one. you don't need to do this all by yourself darling." your mum pulled you into another hug as you nodded.

"okay i'm going to have to ask you to leave now because hugging my mum and crying in my underwear is a little humiliating." you mumbled, cheeks flushing red as your mum rolled her eyes with a smile, encouraging you to take your time before stepping out of the change room.

sitting back down and glancing toward the wall of dresses you were yet to try on you sighed, pulling out your phone and clicking dial on your fiances contact, knowing she was on the other side of town doing the exact same thing with her own bridal party, just needing to hear her voice.

"well well well if it isn't the future mrs earps!" you tried not to let your disappointment show as it was leah who instead answered, herself millie and rachel part of mary's bridal party, murmuring a hello in return. 

but the english captain could already tell it wasn't her that you needed right now and in a much softer tone requested you wait two seconds while she went and found your fiance.

"hi love, you alright?" your body physically relaxed as marys voice now filled your ears. "i miss you." was all you could respond, unable to see the soft smile which spread across your fiances face at your words. "i miss you too. i feel like i've not seen you in weeks!" the keeper sighed and you hummed in agreement, the two of you chatting for a moment about how your dress appointments were going, mary teasingly refusing to answer if she'd found something or not.

"baby i have to go but how about tonight we just have a date night? no wedding talk, no phone calls, nothing. we order a takeaway and just watch a bunch of those soppy romance films you love, just the two of us." mary offered sincerely and you nodded, forgetting she couldn't see you as she echoed the question and you hurried to confirm, both of you saying your goodbyes before hanging up.

filled with a new sense of motivation your eyes scanned the remaining dresses, taking them off the racks one by one to look them over, holding them up to your body until you got to the last one, and with the feelings that rushed through you, you had a feeling this could be the one.

hurrying to step into it you grinned as you looked over in yourself in the mirror, feeling the most confident you had all day as you carefully made your way out of the change room, making sure not to trip over as for the first time all day you were met with silence.

"oh darling, it's perfect." your mum gushed, tears welling up in her eyes as alex pulled her into a hug, all of your friends quickly hurrying to their feet, touching and poking at you and gushing about how this was the one.

you smiled and finally let yourself relax as ella handed you a glass of champagne, your younger sister molly launching into an excited speech as you rolled your eyes.

one more thing ticked off the list.

~

"-i'm just saying! if you'd have just shown up to my house with a boom box and a lawnmower and confessed your love to me we could have been already married." you teased your fiance as the end credits for say anything rolled.

"yeah and avoided the awkward as fuck moment that it was instead." mary groaned and hid her face in your chest, cheeks burning red as the memories of her confessions of her love for you all those years ago came rushing back.

"pretty woman, 27 dresses or dirty dancing?" you asked your best friend, holding up the DVD's in your hand as mary groaned, collapsing back into the bed with a dramatic sigh. "none of them?" the girl answered with a raised eyebrow and you scowled, throwing a fuzzy slipper at her head.

"you said if i let you pick what we had for dinner i could choose the film, so choose one maz!" you ordered firmly, holding up the DVD's again as mary sighed in defeat and pointed to 27 dresses, annoyed facade melting as you squealed happily and turned around to load it in.

"turn the frown upside down earps you get the pleasure of my company all weekend this should be cause for celebration, a parade even!" you jumped on top of her as she grunted in surprise, grinning down at your best friend who playfully rolled her eyes. 

"oh i've got the parade organised for once you leave, the real cause of celebration!" mary teased as you grabbed a pillow, smacking her in the face and yelping as she flipped your positions, the two of you rolling around on her bed and pinching and tickling and smacking at one another, the play fighting nothing unusual between you.

"okay okay, truce!" mary finally wheezed, the two of you collapsing beside one another as your chests heaved and your laughter filled her bedroom, both trying to catch your breath.

as mary turned her head to the side and looked at you, she felt her stomach jump into her throat. the dimples that formed in the corners of your mouth as you smiled, the tiny moon and star studs in the top corner of your left ear, the way the tip of your tongue poked out a tiny gap in your teeth when you grinned, the way you were at every single one of her matches and always cheering for her the loudest and proudest. 

you were perfect and she found her body wracked with guilt that she was thinking about and longing for something more than just being your best friend.

even more so she found herself swooning as you lay beside her in her bed wearing her clothes, again nothing unusual for the two of you but thinking about this very situation happening again if the two of you were something more than just friends. 

"hey...can i ask you something?" your smile dropped seeing the unusually serious look cross marys face, the two of you sitting up and facing one another cross legged on the bed. "do you ever maybe, well i know i do but i don't want to make you uncomfortable, so i guess do you-" mary struggled to get her words out as your frown deepened.

"maz, its just me." you assured her with a soft smile, placing your hands on her knees with a gentle squeeze. "thats just the problem, its just you." the older girl smiled sadly and you looked to her with confusion. "i don't understand?"

"do you ever maybe, or would you want to maybe, shit how do i word this?" she finally spoke, the blank look you gave her in return causing her heart rate to accelerate. "would you want to go for dinner and a drink sometime?" the keeper asked quickly, face palming at her own words. "we just had dinner?" you repeated slowly, starting to catch on to what your best friend was trying to ask.

"sorry no that was weird, don't worry about it." mary shook her head and went to stand up and put the movie on but you grabbed at her shirt, pulling her back down. "mary alexandra earps, are you trying to ask me on a date?" you asked quietly, a smile hinting at your lips as the taller girl hesitated before nodding.

"if thats not really weird, i love you more than anything and-" she started, catching her own words as her face lit up bright red. "not i love you like that! i mean i do love you and maybe eventually could love you like that or maybe i already do? but im just trying to-" you rolled your eyes and cut off her ramblings, pressing your lips to hers.

she tensed at first caught off guard by the sudden kiss but soon relaxed into it, her hands coming to rest on your waist before you pulled away.

"mary. i've known you since we were teenagers, maybe even loved you since then. i never wanted to act on anything because i'd rather have you as a best friend than not at all, you're my favorite person, in any way i can have you." you confessed sincerely, cupping her face in her hands as mary practically melted into a puddle at your words.

"but i think we're a little past the awkward first date going for dinner and drinks phase, i know you like the back of my own hand." you grinned, trying to ease her obvious nerves as she seemed to settle, leaning back in to kiss you again.

"oh but you were so sweet and nervous and awkward, i sort of miss that mary. the quiet and shy one who blushed every time i held her hand or kissed her cheek!" you teased, your fiances confidence having grown in leaps and bounds during the time you'd been together.

"now i just have this loud, arrogant, messy woman who hogs the blankets, snores, can't carry a tune to save her life, uses all the hot water when she showers, shoves her sweaty smelly gloves in my face-" you began to list off on your fingers as your fiance sat up properly, glaring down at you and folding her arms over her chest.

"are you done?" "no i actually have some more things i could say like-"

your words were cut short as the keeper rolled her eyes and smashed her mouth against yours, her hand moving to gently grip your neck as her tongue slipped into your mouth, ripping a quiet moan from you as you shifted underneath her.

a needy whine dropped from your lips as she pressed her knee inbetween your legs, smirking as she pulled away momentarily to let you catch your breath, burying her face in your neck as your fiance began to devour you, nipping and biting at the sensitive skin she knew all too well, her tongue tracing a sloppy line from love bite to love bite.

"that little shy awkward mary couldn't make you feel like this though, could she love?"

~

"last night of freedom and as a y/l/n baby sister!" your older sister alex cheered drunkenly, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as the two of you danced like idiots, your eratic moves fueled by a bachelorette party full of tequila shots, champagne and red wine.

the wedding was tomorrow and you could finally let loose knowing the only thing you needed to do was to show up and marry the love of your life, the insane stress of the last few months melting away much like the sweat which dripped down the back of your neck in the tightly packed out club you were in.

you danced the night away with your sisters and best friends, all of whom repeatedly warned you to stop screaming every song you knew at the top of your lungs, teasingly reminding you needed to have a voice to say i do tomorrow.

"another one?" you nodded as alessia kissed your cheek and disappeared to the bar, your sisters having already called it a night and headed back to the hotel, doing their best to convince you to go with them but with no luck it left yourself, ella, alessia and your two childhood best friends to your own devices.

your body tensed as someone suddenly pressed in behind you, hands gripping your hips tightly and warm breath tickling the back of your neck. though before you could throw them off or turn around and promptly punch them in the face a familiar voice sounded in your ear.

"well fancy seeing you here beautiful."

"mary!" you cheered drunkenly, spinning around and practically throwing yourself at your fiance who grinned, catching you and twirling you around before placing you back on your feet. "mary! you didn't tell us she'd be here." leah, millie and rachel appeared behind the girl, tugging her away as you whined and alessia reappeared by your side, slipping a drink into your hand.

"its bad luck to see one another the night before the wedding!" leah reminded sternly at your pouty face, both you and your fiance protesting the statement as millie rolled her eyes and agreed the two of you could have a few songs together before you all needed to leave, reminding of the time.

"oh its your song!" you beamed, grabbing your fiances hand and dragging her away from the small huddle of women as voulez vous blasted through the speakers, the two of you grinding and groping at one another as your friends watched on with small smiles and amused shakes of their heads.

"you know i do feel the need to warn you, i have a fiance." you teased with a slight slur as mary let out a loud laugh, your favourite sound. "s'okay, she doesn't need to know." the taller girl grinned, connecting your lips as your hands roamed one anothers bodies.

"if we go now we can definitely make it to the bathroom before any of them notice we're gone?" mary breathed out needily, pulling away as both of your heads spun, positively infatuated with one another.

"we promised each other no sex until after the wedding!" you laughed, thumbs fondly stroking her jaw as she pouted. "which means we can change our minds?" the blonde asked hopefully and you only laughed harder, shaking your head. "we've gone three whole weeks, we can last one more night. then tomorrow you can do whatever you want to me!" you grinned cheekily, feeling your fiances hand smack harshly at your bum.

"alright love birds thats quite enough! home time." millie clapped and before you knew it both of your bridal parties had intervened, the large group of drunk women all banding together to keep you and mary away from one another as you all walked back to the hotel where everyone was staying.

"tooney come on! just let me give her one goodnight kiss?" you begged, the younger girl having a firm grip on you to stop you running off as millie and rach did the same for mary who was a few feet ahead. "oh go on then." the girl rolled her eyes and let you go, watching as you sprinted after your fiance, jumping on her back as she stumbled and almost fell over.

"goodnight fiance." you sung out as the two of you now stood by the doors of the hotel lobby, your friends tiredly waiting in a huddle across the room, giving the two of you a brief moment of peace. "goodnight fiance." mary echoed back, the two of you giggling and exchanging soft drunken kisses among sweet words.

"can't wait till i can start saying wife." you beamed, running your hands up her sides, practically bouncing on your feet with excitement. "one more sleep and you're offically mrs earps." mary grinned, the two of you having one more kiss goodbye before being hustled off to your individual rooms by your friends.

~

you blinked tiredly hearing knocks on your hotel room door, pulling your head out of bed with a wince thinking you were hearing things as alex slept soundly beside you, ella passed on the other bed with alessia sprawled beside her, none of them even stirring as the knocks sounded again.

pulling yourself out of bed with a tired sigh you rubbed your eyes and opened the door, met with the cheery face of your fiance whose smile only grew at your disheveled state.

"good morning beautiful, fancy a walk? bit of calm before the storm." mary asked quietly, holding up a coffee clearly intended for you as you nodded, any signs of grumpiness melting away at the prospect of her company.

quickly slipping out of your dress from the night before you tugged on an oversized top and wiggled into a pair of bike shorts, smiling at your fiance who was patiently awaiting in the door frame. "how have none of them even stirred? are they dead?" mary asked in shock at the three girls still passed out in the room as you pushed her out of the room with a quiet laugh, door closing behind you.

gratefully accepting the coffee and thanking your fiance with a kiss the two of you walked hand in hand into the elevator, wrapped up in a bubble of comfortable silence as you exited the hotel, wandering across the road toward the beach where you were to be wed in just a few short hours.

it still being quite early the sun had only just begun to rise, the sky a symphony of pale pinks and oranges as mary sat down on the sand and you settled inbetween her legs, your back leaning against her front as she pressed a tender kiss to the side of your head.

the two of you didn't need to say anything as you sipped at your coffees, just the feeling of your bodies tucked into one another all you needed as you soaked in the sunrise and the peace and quiet of your impending wedding day.

though of course, it eventually had to end.

"there you two are! for fuck sakes we thought you'd got cold feet and done a runner!" alex yelled as she ran across the road, followed closely by a few of yours and marys friends. 

"and here comes the storm." mary whispered in your ear as you grinned, the two of you quickly pulled up and tugged away from one another, your respective bridal parties rattling off the list of things which still needed to be done before the ceremony.

"see you at the aisle my love!" you called out to your fiance over your sisters shoulder as she dragged you away. "not if i see you first, i'll be the one in white trying not to cry!" mary winked before being whisked away in the opposite direction.

~

"now it's my understanding that the brides have prepared their own vows, is this accurate?" your celebrant asked with a smile as you and mary nodded, both reaching around to grab your pieces of paper from your respective maids of honour, the celebrant gesturing for you to start.

"oh god okay i'm going to try to get through this without crying." you joked as your guests laughed and mary smiled, giving you an encouraging nod as you cleared your throat. 

"mary alexandra earps you've been a constant in my life for what feels like forever. i remember you as that awkward teenager getting your first professional football contract, right up till now as a gloriously confident champion of europe, but you were always full of nothing but kindness, love and support both as a friend, a life partner and now a wife." you started, refusing to look up knowing if you did you would break.

"the reality is all marriages have cycles of peaks and valleys and its nice to communicate your intent to get through those valleys together, and i promise that from today forward i will always be by your side for all of it, there to hold you at your lowest and celebrate with you at your highest. i remember seeing you for the first time and feeling in my gut you were someone i needed to know. there you were in the kitchen of the party i was dragged to and thank god i was, you were sitting on the floor with that goofy smile just waiting to shake up my life and to light up my whole world." you laughed at the memories of how the two of you had met before continuing.

"mary. i am truly blessed to be a part of your life which as of today becomes our life together. i promise as your wife to encourage your dreams and be by your side to help you achieve them in anyway i can. i promise to celebrate the joy of spending every day with you. i promise to stand by your side through life's most joyous moments and its challenging ones like we always have, together. i promise to be kind, patient, and forgiving. i promise to always honor your passions and your ambitions, and to love you forever." you finished as you slid the ring onto marys finger and your fiance let out a sob and millie rubbed her back with a smile, the taller girl clearing her throat and making a joke about how she didn't know how she was going to follow that.

"y/f/n. you came into my life at exactly the right time; when I wasn't ready and yet when i needed your love the most. we've experienced great triumphs and literal disasters together, and these trials have pushed the boundaries of what we thought we could endure, and in the end i feel more strongly connected with you to get up and try again anytime i feel close to failure. i am forever grateful for all the nights you spent cradling me as i cried, feeling nothing but the hopelessness of a career which was over before it had even begun, but each time you would assure me i was wrong and instill in me the confidence i lacked in myself. i love you dearly for all that you are. i am amazed by your inquisitive mind and tickled by your sense of humor. i may not want to admit it, but i even love your god awful singing voice and poorly timed dad jokes!" mary paused to look at you with a grin as you hid a sob in your hand, feeling your younger sister comfortingly squeeze your shoulder.

"you have stuck by me through the best and worst and loved all that i am, and you help me to be the finest version of me that I can be. as your wife I promise to you with the same determination and confidence you've given me that i vow to support you through everything and anything that life throws at us both good and bad. i pledge to commit myself to our marriage and to you and to the good I know will grow from it. i promise this all to you until I am no more, i love you with every fibre of my being, now and forever." mary finished, eyes welled up with tears as she slid your ring onto your finger and the celebrant asked the two of you to join hands.

"mary, do you take y/n to be your wedded wife, to live together in marriage? do you promise to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, and forsaking all others, be faithful only to her, for as long as you both shall live?" "i do."

"y/n, do you take mary to be your wedded wife, to live together in marriage? do you promise to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, and forsaking all others, be faithful only to her, for as long as you both shall live?" "i do."

"then by the power vested in me, i now pronounce you wife and wife, you may each kiss the bride!" the crowd around you exploded into cheers as both you and mary eagerly leant in, connecting your lips as your hands cupped her face and hers gripped the back of your neck, both pulling away and pressing your foreheads together.

"my wife." you breathed out in shock, biting down on your lip to contain the shit eating grin which threatened to spread across your face. "my wife." mary echoed back, not even trying to hide her excited grin which spread ear to ear.

"i love you, mrs earps." "not as much as i love you, mrs earps."

[tinytennisskirt]

underrated tinytennisskirt fics you absolutely should read (if you haven't already) and why

The Card and The Heart

i know why this one flopped and maybe- one, it has to do with being the first fic I ever posted on here, and two, it's not 'x reader' it's written with pronouns like 'i' and 'my. it's self-insert, you have to imagine. i really like this one, it's long, it has a lot of backstory. It's Zweig Twin! Reader, so Patrick's twin sister who has liked Art since she was young. it has emotion, it's fun, there's a good storyline, and there's SMUT. yum. as well as a little bit of a full circle callback moment that makes you go 'oh my god'. i love it.

The Motions

this was a good fic but if you're not into the idea of having a child, then maybe I get why it wouldn't appeal. it's very domestic, very based in love and security and has some tasteful, meaningful smut scenes. scenes PLURAL. the fic is x reader w/Art and goes through early marriage, honeymoon, and pregnancy. he's a loving, supportive young husband and it's very cute. i think it's very cute. it goes through all of the motions and overall it is a very sweet, lovely little fic.

Fresh Laundry and Other Things

this one was sooo simple. slightly meetcute. instant chemistry and very sweet right off the bat. college era art and his time at the laundromat and a tennis playing reader who likes all the same things as him. he's smitten!!! sharing earbuds, are you kidding like that's so... i'm so genius for it. sharing WIRED earbuds. nervous flustered art my favourite baby.

Hall Pass

this Patrick Zweig fic is a little odd because it's x Art's GF! Reader. Pat is down bad for a girl Art snagged first but it's a party and they're drinking and reader cashes in her 'hall pass' with Art for some time with Patrick, who has been thinking about and waiting for this kind of thing for far too long. SMUT. smut. it's so good. it's diiiirty ;) it's like ethical cheating. she's got Art's permission.

Those Three Words <3

saying this is my third fave Patrick fic i've written is a little weird. it definitely comes after Sweetheart and Sweet Tooth, (ignoring how they are both sweet tf). It's based around Patrick Zweig who has BEEN a player for some time, fucking girls after going to clubs and bars and not ever committing. and ofc, along comes reader and for once things get taken slowly. he's got real feelings. and he is in it BAD for reader, wants her soooo bad and doesn't know what to do with that since he's so new to the real feelings thing. what i LOVE about this one is i love to write casual displays of affection and this has tons of that. it has a very real first kiss and a twist of angst when his three words aren't reciprocated. i'm very much obsessed with this fic. Player! Patrick to Loverboy! Patrick pipeline is sooo addictive to write. Please read this one if you haven't. Read again if you have.

last but not least, Vampire Art! Headcanons with a Plot

this baby is sooo niche and so silly. i loved writing it. it has vampy little art with feelings and sharp teeth he's so cute, he's so pretty n he wants you!!! i'm kind of weirdly obsessed with vampire boyfriend art donaldson like he lives in my brain. he looks a lil tired and he's pale, but he's still playing tennis. it's got all those little headcanons of being with him, but at the same time it's got the progression of time and feelings and some smut for sureeee, but not before him denying it to you over and over and over in fear that he'll hurt you. but that's all the fun!

mwah mwah mwah thank you all for being here <333

[tj-dragonblade]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. spread the self-love ❤

Thank you! This is such a hard question! I love most everything I've written, picking favorites is hard, I swear it would be easier to name the ones I'm least thrilled with lol. And just because most of these are Sandman doesn't mean I don't care about my older fandoms either, just that almost always what I'm happiest with writing is going to be the most recent years. Maybe one day I'll go through fandom by fandom to pick a top three from each, or something. But for now! In no particular order, and after much thought, here we go.

When the Chips Are Down from the tail end of my Saiyuki days, published 14 years ago this month. It's comical crack-treated-seriously based on an obscure canon-adjacent factoid and that sort of thing has never been my forte, but I succeeded admirably here if I may say so. It was a joy to write, Jiipu is my favorite and forever under-utilized in fic so centering this around him, around a ridiculous tidbit of info about his counterpart in the original Journey to the West and telling it in his pov was absolutely delightful. I had so much fun writing this one and I'm still so proud of the character voice work I managed in here.

The Thessaly breakup fic from fluffbruary 2023, which I like for having a semblance of plot and because I see lots of talk about what Hob would think of Thessaly but I don't know if I've run into any other actual fics dealing with it. Not that this is the Hob-gives-Thessaly-a-piece-of-his-mind fic that I think we all need, but I'm still very pleased with it. And I just really like the scene of Dream crying on Hob.

Of Cutoff Shorts and Classic Cars. I'm just. So happy with how quickly this one happened, how much it kept growing in the writing and how it turned out in the end. I also laugh at myself for nitpicking over the right British terms for back yard and driveway and such but then I completely spaced using bonnet instead of hood. 😂 Also fun fact this was my first time ever writing oral with a vulva and I'm very pleased with how well it's been received.

The Keeper and the Traveler currently sits pretty high because I've always loved and wanted to write that fairy-tale narrative style and this got pretty close. I don't know if it will still be in my top five by the end of the year but for now, it is.

And lastly will cheat a smidge and say Cruise Ship Boys, because I love both pieces of the 'series' and can't decide which I like better. The porn piece again happened quickly and wrote easily and I'm delighted with how it turned out. The sequel was meant to be one cute-ish little scene to revisit them but snowballed into a whole depressing backstory for Dream and an illuminating look into his everyday life and again, it wrote easily which seems to be a theme with these faves, lol. But yeah. I would love to come back to this AU one day.

[wonyoluv]

𝐖𝐋𝐖 & 𝐆𝐆 𝐅𝐢𝐜 𝐑𝐞𝐜𝐬 !! (๑>ᴗ<๑)

✧ some of my all time favorite fics & their amazing authors!! please show everybody lots of love ^^ [header creds. to @minvcrs] ✧ i'll keep updating this as i find more fics !! pls feel free to send in suggestions as well <3

✧ SMAUS ✧

BRUTAL - @mosinterlude [hanni x reader smau]

↳ this was such a fun concept for a smau & this author also has a rlly great niki smau if ur a fan of enhypen <3 looking forward to more of their works ^^

HALLWAY CRUSH - @xuqijie [haerin x reader smau]

↳ kinda reminds me of 2521 & it's just a rlly cute concept

HOW YOU GET THE GIRL - @jungwonize [rei x reader smau]

↳ this smau hasn't come out yet but im so hyped ^^ this author has rlly creative plots so definitely another blog to check out ;)

RUN2U - @yaeluvz [wonyoung x reader smau}

↳ i had the time of my life reading this smau bc it was just so funny & perfectly cute <3 loved wonyoung's portrayal bc it was just so endearing

FANWARS - @rosiehrs [yunjin x reader smau]

↳ i still haven't gotten the chance to read this smau but i can't wait to! the summary itself sounds so entertaining

FAULT LINES - @ctrlemis [wonyoung/jungwon x reader smau]

↳ jungwon and wonyoung are two of my ults so this smau was literally everything i had ever dreamed of

PLEASE! - @mingkuri [hanni x reader smau]

↳ not completely up to date with this smau but its so so funny <3 like i actually need to catch up rn bc it's amazing, not to mention it's abt the loml hanni pham <3_<3

THE ONLY EXCEPTION - @izfims [yujin x reader smau]

↳ just found this while i was going through my saved fics & it looks so cute so i need to go check it out like rn !! i'm definitely checking it out b4 i go to sleep tdy

✧ WRITTEN ✧

LOVER GIRL - @silantryoo [haerin x reader fluff]

↳ quite literally the cutest thing i've ever read ... i wish i could reread it but the author accidentally deleted their acc T_T if u haven't read it, take my word for it bc it was absolutely adorable 🫶 update: it’s been reposted!! so happy i could literally cry rn 🙈

CAN'T YOU SEE ME - @forhereyesonlyyy [yujin x reader fluff]

↳ it's honestly such a struggle to find authors for ive, but im so glad that i found this acc bc they write so well <3 definitely recommend checking it out :)

2, 4, 6, 8, WHO DO I APPRECIATE? - @chenle [yuna x reader fluff]

↳ an all time favorite of mine ^^ if i could only recommend one work in this post, this would be the one ... it literally came out 4 yrs ago & i still go back to read it <33 it's a cheerleader au & absolutely adorable,, also made me realize just how gay i am lol

CHICKEN SANDWICH - @kimsohn [winter x reader drabble]

↳ this is probably one of my fave drabbles from this acc bc it has fake dating which is one of my fave tropes but literally anything they write is amazing <3 this acc has sm diversity & writes for ggs like loona, aespa, ive & itzy !!

OCEAN VIEW - @seungiepup [gaeul x reader fluff]

↳ probably one of the only gaeul works i've seen on here but im so happy that i found it :) it's a perfect fluffy slice of life drabble

STUCO GF HCs - @iichaeyj [karina x reader fluff]

↳ this acc posts such great hcs & blurbs like i love reading them all sm. they havent posted much gg content, but i'd def recommend checking out all their works if you like txt or enhypen.

6:03 PM - @gfksn [ryujin x reader fluff]

↳ the cutest timestamp <33 like i just love ryujin sm & i feel like this captures her essence rlly well .. idk if that makes sense but plz check it out bc it's cute :)

DRESS ME UP - @hoonsmarsbar [gaeul x reader]

↳ this hasn't come out yet but i can't wait <3 the header is so so pretty & the summary has me so intrigued :) bc i just adore gaeul

KISS, KISS, I WANNA KISS. - @tbzloonar [hyejoo x reader fluff]

↳ you can likely alr tell just how cute this is from the title alone but im gonna say it again bc its adorable <3

LOST SUNSHINE - @haerinz [wonyoung x reader angst]

↳ this hanahaki au was one of the first gg fics i found on here && it's a true heartbreaker <3 would definitely recommend to anyone craving angst :D

SWEET WORDS - @itgetsquiet [ryujin x reader fluff]

↳ only recently discovered this fic && i still haven't finished it, but i started it and from what i've read so far, ik im gonna enjoy it :)

[devouringbodies]

Hiiii I was wondering if you have a fic rec list 👉🏻👈🏻

Omg hi!!! I just went through my bookmarks and found some of my favorites!! Literally I had the hardest time narrowing down, I've got so many I love, also some I can't remember the Exact plot of that I'm sure I absolutely love and have just forgotten. So I definitely have more up my sleeve if anyone wants more. Head the tags for some of these.

The Enticement of Suffering by jonnimir - latest fic I just read, gory and sexy wound fucking coda to dolce. if you're into that it's SO GOOD

Not Quite Charity by @stranded-labyrinth - au first meeting between Will and Hannibal, hannibal leaves his car in a run down area of Baltimore and will, who's homeless, heckles him about it and Hannibal decides to pay him to watch it for him. I love this will sm!! It's a really interesting look at their dynamic, and is super in character and just a fun au study!!

Perda de memória by bleakmidwinter - amnesia!hannibal post fall fic. I'm actually a sucker for amnesia aus and love the angst in this. It adds an element to Will's struggle and decision making that makes his mindset post fall all the more interesting. And I love how much hannibal is still hannibal despite not remembering hardly anything.

Everything casts a shadow by @ghostforwhat - i looooove season 2 Will killing more people. I can't ever get enough of it. It's written so well and believably here, and the way it changes the course of the season is super fascinating. Currently a wip.

Wolf and I by t_pock - so so sooo fucking good. One of my favorites. It also has a Podfic as well and I love Podfics soo much and relisten to it often. Season 1 au that has more elements of horror, creepiness, symbolism and hands down the best, hottest, wildest forest chase sequence I've ever read. This fic feels more like a folk or fairy tale it's so good, especially paired with the beautiful art the podficer made, as well as the music they paired with the Podfic. Can't recommend this one enough.

A night off the record by barcharonte - season 1 au again, where on the way to Minnesota hannibal and will get snowed in and have to take shelter somewhere. Will is still losing time and hallucinating. Hannibal still tries to take advantage of course. Fun times to be had.

Between ease and foresight by devotional_doldrums - season 1 au (can you tell I like these? Lol) where wills and Hannibal's metaphorical conversations get a little too on the nose and Will finds out. SUPER good hannibal pov, I want to eat parts of this fic the writing is so good, and the author's notes are hilarious.

Sings to me nightly, sings to me brightly by serindrana - psychic connection phone sex what more could you want!!

The joy of creation by fkahersweetness - super dark mute!will post fall. I wouldn't say I think this is Actually how a post fall dynamic would be but in the universe of this fic it's so so sooo amazing. I love the surreality and implied shared visions/psychosis connection that will and Hannibal have here. Also the ending layed me tf out for days.

Radon and its daughters by @chaparral-crown - best most believable and realistic abo au ever. Nuff said.

Speaking of abo the one where Will smells like blood to hannibal, so good. I'll probably survive this by saintsavage

Pochée by ellopoppet - season 1 au! Also with a Podfic, Will's away on a case but is still getting closer to hannibal through texts and calls.

Mon chéri by sandyquinn - cracky Addams family au esque one shot. Just super cute and silly. I'm picky about my cute and silly but the Addams family morbidity fits comedy hannigram to a T.

Never let it starve by northern - another Will finds out in season 1, I truly can't get enough of these. Also bonus bug boy will!!!

Let the river rush in by several - Explores an actual psychic connection between the boys, again I'm a huge fan of this trope.

Hyacinth house by bluesyturtle - MY BELOVED!!!! One of my top top faves, season 1 au, cool cases, great relationship dynamic between the boys, and im obsessed with how this fic portrays Will's empathy and how it plays with his gender a bit. Love the story, love the ending. Also with Podfic!

Pattern break by thisbeautifuldrowning - dark Will au season 2 where he doesn't plot with Jack or go back to the fbi and deals with Hannibal himself. LOVE how this one plays out.

Bloodline by xzombiezkittenx - VAMPIRE AU MY LOVEEEEE this fic is an utter joy if you like vamp aus. The world building is great.

A consequence of consumption by ironlotus - straight up hands down my favorite fic in the fandom I think. It's still a wip, but it's one of the best characterizations, writing, plot, and just perfect outstanding everything I've seen in this fandom. It's an au where before all the events of season 1, Will is kidnapped by Eldon stamments and is kept alive and rescued eventually. It's peak "Will's milkshake brings all the serial killers to the yard" trope and the way everything is woven together, the storylines and character motivations, is just crazy good. Also one of my most favorite hannibal pov and characterizations out there.

Ok that was still a lot, I'm sorry if I missed tagging anyone, and hopefully the links all work!

[magerywrites]

magery hello,,!! i hope this isnt too forward but i discovered you via _maiqo on twitter a long while ago and have been absolutely enamored by your works ever since — your writing is an enormous inspiration to me and i sincerely hope that my works can one day match the same level of excellence.

you absolutely dont have to indulge me at all, but is there any advice you can give in terms of writing character studies? :’D if not its totally ok !! and anything works !! i just figured it’s worth a shot haha

Thank you very much! It's always lovely to learn that what I've written has meant something to someone. I appreciate it.

In an attempt to answer your question, I'll talk about how I think about and approach character studies. It may be that much of what I say fails to be useful to you, but I hope to be of some small aid regardless!

To begin, I think the most fundamental element of writing a character study—as a piece of fanfiction, though much of this can be applied without significant difficulty to orginal works—is to have a firm vision of who the character is to you.

This is separate from having a firm vision of who the character "really" is. Nobody can have that—every way we engage with media is coloured by our own values and perspectives, and that bleeds into the way we think about and write characters. This is sometimes a difficult dichotomy to balance against the principle of "they would not fucking say that", but to borrow some old and too-simplified physics, I think it can be useful to consider that a character is in many ways like an electron in an electron cloud. Their precise and perfect characterisation is not something that we can ever truly locate, but we can identify the area of narrative space it is most likely to be in.

The task of the character study, I feel, is to hammer down on the part of that narrative space that you find most compelling. To take the meat of their character and cook it the way you would want it served to you. A character study is not to please anyone else. A character study—or, at least, the kind of character study I write—exists for you to get your feelings out about the character you have been rotating in your brain onto the page. It also exists, of course, so that you can try to show those feelings to other people and hope they feel them too, but you will never succeed in actually capturing those feelings in the first place if you don't allow yourself to write your authentic vision of the character.

They don't have to be your blorbo, or your problematic fave, or your three corners of the OC design triangle, or whatever, but when you write them, for that space and time they do have to be yours. Otherwise, what's the point?

Once you have that vision, you can put them in practically any situation you like and as long as there's something in it for them to bounce off, you're going to be able to tell a story that reveals something about the character. If you look at the "plots" of a selection of my character studies, we have "one guy folds sheets, another guy asks him questions" as a plot, we have "a pair of exes talk across a tabletop after a party", we have "oh LAWD they FAWKING" like four and a half times, we have "retelling the plot of something else" twice, and we even have "two people on a helicopter flight for an hour". It's not really complicated stuff. It doesn't need to be. The character, or characters, just need to be in a situation where they're going to have some reason to think about, and maybe even talk about, whatever conflict or idea or relationship you find most compelling about them.

With that said, it should be noted that it's... well, for me, with the way I do things, it's very very difficult to conceive of writing a character study in any situation without a clear and central conflict the character or characters are grappling with. All of my character studies revolve around a problem a character has and how they react to it. And yes, "having a conflict" is, like, the quiddity of a story, the most basic plot diagram there is. But what I'm trying to say here is that even in the story I mentioned where two people sit in a helicopter and talk to each other, the story is intensely focused on the internal struggle one of those characters is having with the choices that led to her sitting in that helicopter and how much they do, or don't, make her like the person she's sitting opposite (both more and less than she knows). And that's the sort of thing that I think is key. The conflict, in my eyes, needs to be philosophically central to the way you view the character and what you want to say about them. It needs to be tightly intertwined into what you find most compelling about them—the thing that you just want to sink your hands into and squeeze, for good or ill. That's how you get to really show the world who they are and why you care about that.

After that, I really think that in a lot of ways it just comes down to the prose. How deeply can you write into your character's head? Are you colouring even your description of the world around them with the way they would see it—or are you taking the opposite path and presenting the character entirely through someone else's eyes, so that you can characterise them through the distance between what the other person thinks about them and how they present themselves? You don't need frame-perfect metaphors or the Inanna-Ishtar LGBTQIA+ sharingan-coloured prose to do that, but you do need to focus on writing in a way that expresses the character.

This does take focus. How much focus depends on how specialised you are into that style of prose, but it is focus nonetheless: you need to think of your sentences, each and every one, as tools to communicate something about your understanding of the character that you want the audience to know. Some of them will inevitably instead become vehicles to reach a point where you can communicate that understanding, but something as simple as what a character notices first when they walk into a room tells you something about them. Lean on that. Lean into that. After all, if you're writing a character study, the writing should study your character.

(Colour this advice with the fact that I am, as you've probably realised from reading my writing, very much a prose-focused writer. I have spent near on fifteen years, since before I even graduated high school, honing my prose for poetry of language and interiority so that I can write in the way I most enjoy reading. That affects what I value in writing, and it affects my opinion on the way people should write. I believe what I am saying is true and good and useful, because I have faith in the way I engage with my art, but my advice does not chart the sole and singular course to the ever-distant utopia.)

To tl;dr myself, my advice for writing character studies fundamentally boils down to to the idea that I think a character study is most potent when it presents a vision of a character that the writer has clearly obsessed over. That they have layered with their thoughts, their perspective, and their heart to the degree that it drips even from their prose. A character study with the confidence to say this is what I think is compelling about this character, and I want you to see it too.

I may not agree with it, I may think "They Would Not Have Fucking Said That", I may even think the writer has just invented an unsustainable interpretation of the character that demonstrates startling reading incomprehension and I can't believe I have to share the same fandom as these people.

But at the same time, I know people have thought and said that about my own works—and I'm still happy that I wrote them.

I have far more respect for someone who's written an entirely committed and deranged interpretation of a character that I think is Flatly Fucking Wrong than I do someone who presents me with the most milquetoast interpretation I can't disagree with. If I choose to read a character study, it's because I want to see you study the character. That's, as the meme goes, why I'm here.

So, really: focus on determining who you think the character is, write them the way you want to see them written, keep your prose tight to who you think the character is (not just "would they say that?" or "would they think that?" but "how would they describe that?" and "what would they see in that?"), and commit to the bit.

(If you've managed to read to the bottom—thank you for entertaining my rambling, and I hope it helped!)

[brotherwtf]

i love you so much for constantly giving us new buck + bucky content based on all our prompts <3 but i want to know what your own personal favourite clegan tropes/kinks/au ideas are! what would you like to see more of in clegan fics/fanart etc?

oh my gosh!! thank you so much!! I honestly love to write for y'all's prompts, but here's some of my favorite stuff I like to see!!

I LOVE Dom/sub dynamics between John and Gale (I'm privy to Dom Gale, but honestly if a dynamic is written well I'm eating it the fuck up)

absolutely going bonkers for praise (all that that entails), give me Gale calling John a good boy, give me John telling Gale he's going so well during sex, give it to me all of the time I fucking love it

love some feminization when it's done really well, have John call Gale his girl, a good girl, MAKE GALE WEAR SKIRTS OML, but also when they feminize John? yep yep but that big beefy man in a skirt

I love when they're so sweet with each other, domesticity and living together will make me weep every time :(( absolutely love when they call each other pet names and endearments (JOHN CALLING GALE DOLL? KILL ME)

for fics my favorite genres are post war, canon, and any au stuff. I love the "forbiddeness" of it all, love how they'll try to be with each other no matter how much society tries to force them apart

I personally love reading fics from John's perspective (maybe bcs me and him are both in love with Gale Cleven), but I just love to see big and loud John Egan fall for quiet and sassy Gale Cleven, one of my favorite things to read

I write a shit ton of aus, I think I have more aus than actual canon content on this blog, but my fave aus I've ever written are my wedding au, firefighter/detective au, and all of my modern au stuff hehe and honestly for fanart I'd love to see more au stuff! I feel like I haven't even scratched the surface on clegan fanartists bcs I don't see that many, if you draw fanart lmk!!

here's some of my personal favorite fics!! some have what I've listed above and honestly these fics changed my damn life

Close and Yet Closer - Anonymous

Tough and Sweet (Like You and Me) - @johnslittlespoon

Born To Ride - @bucking-mustangs-with-wings

my man, my doll - @stereobone

peacetime like a liminal space - mercess on AO3

thank you so much for this ask! it really let me reflect on what I'd like to see, I really appreciate it!! sending all of my love to you 💕💕

[thoughtfullyrainynightmare]

I was wondering what your thoughts are on what kind of music from our world the Black Clover characters (whichever ones you'd like) would listen to? What is their favourite/least favourite?

Hmmmm.... This is tricky in the sense that our world does have music that would fit the time period in Clover. And while I personally might not be a frequent listener of some of these genres, I'm thinking...

Luck: Would probably listen to a lot of techno, and would find jazz very boring. Even classical can have its moments (I mean there are songs where firing a canon was written in so....)

Magna: Old school rock and roll would be his favourite, while country pop would be a no-no to him (I'm specifically thinking about Taylor Swift)

Nozel: I can't quite put my finger on it, but I think... he might enjoy Mozart (tell me you can't imagine Nozel playing that in his office), but the funny answer/headcanon here is that his secret guilty pleasure (?) is listening to Britney Spears. But rap he detests

Fuegoleon: ...I can see him listening to Beethoven but modern rock/metal would also be within his repertoire, but techno or pop, or any generic club music he wouldn't understand or particularly enjoy

Yami: I have no idea what to call it, but whatever this is; modern music using shamisen. Meanwhile he wouldn't really vibe with most of popular mainstream music (again clubbing music). Too loud and unintelligible

Mereoleona: Metal, or heavy metal maybe. I'm thinking something along the lines of Halestorm , and she'd hate anything that she would consider "boring", but I don't think she'd be that particular about genres

Charlotte: I think she'd... enjoy pop but she would be very particular about what kind of pop. My first thought was along the lines of this so Ariana Grande, but similarly I think she would most also hate some music within the same genre for their lyrics

Zora: I have absolutely nothing to reason this with, but Zora would unironically listen to Rihanna and would scoff at any work of classical music

Rades: For some reason, ever since I asked about y'all about what you think is the theme song of your fave, I've come to think that this would be among the songs that Rades would listen to, but I also think he couldn't stand a lot of genres

Noelle: Bands like Icon For Hire and I think... techno would be her least liked by far

Dorothy: Marina and the Diamonds? I think. And I suppose rap would be her least favourite, or maybe rock/metal

----

I think that's enough for one post ^^' But this was a fun thought!

[bigdreamsandwildthings]

Review: The Bright Sword (Lev Grossman)

Rating: ★★★★/5

“Stories never really ended, they just rolled one into the next. The past was never wholly lost, and the future was never quite found. We wander forever in a pathless forest, dropping with weariness, as home draws us back, and the grail draws us on, and we never arrive, and the quest never ends. Till the Last Day, and maybe not even then. Who knows what stories they tell in Heaven.”

This was a heck of a journey, with so many little side quests and things going on and history to absorb.

Collum has always dreamed of being a Knight of the Round Table. His adolescence has been rough, and at the first chance he gets, he sets out from the Out Isles for Camelot, sure that his destiny awaits there. And sure enough, it does, but the road will be anything but easy, and Camelot will be nothing like he expects, for King Arthur is dead, and the future of Britain is uneasy.

I have never felt a really intense pull towards King Arthur and the stories of Camelot, but like anyone, they've been a part of the media I've consumed for my entire life. I always enjoy the stories, but I don't have a super deep understanding of the lore. This book, and the historical note at the end, made me curious about it, more so than any other book or show or movie ever has. It made me want to know what the *real* story was, even knowing that there really isn't one, that Arthur is a legend that has morphed and changed over time so much that we can never really know what reality was.

The format of this one is really fun and, despite its high page count, made it feel like a quicker read. I absolutely LOVED learning about the knights and their stories, how they came to be who they are, and why they make the decisions they do in Collum's time. Nimue was a highlight for me, as was Palomides, and though I really enjoyed Collum's story too, it was those interspersed short stories that kept me reading.

I also felt like I could sense the Magicians in certain ways that this was written. Collum has a lot of little side things happen, and especially when he spends a year down the well, all I could think of was Quentin and Eliot. I loved that part of things, because it just shows that Lev can write pretty much anything and infuse it with that same heart and quirkiness and depth of character.

The meandering nature of the story + the high page count are the only thing that keep me from giving it a full 5 stars. I really enjoyed it, don't get me wrong, but it just didn't reach that level of fave for me. I think anyone who's a King Arthur buff should pick this up, and it will undoubtedly stick with me; I won't be able to read anything else about Camelot or Arthur without thinking of this tome.