#not the little fella in my head :( | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sylenth-l · 4 months

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Did someone order a horrendously down bad poem from Felwinter's pov? No? Yes you did :))) I think you may need to sit down for this one

(also I am currently reading The Tale of Genji, which has many a beautiful love poem in it—and I couldn't resist adding a line from my favourite in here <3)

the softened edge

Snow drives down and settles, soft

On the sharp mountain stone

But remember, when sent on a knife-wind

these jaunty, fluttering flakes

may cut you to the bone.

One ought to see:

how these melting flurries die

how they wax and wane

how they will return to the sea

and the bitter winter sky.

I'll now put aside my pen, love.

Ah, how boundless, how clear is the air

that surrounds us at the top of the world?

All that drifts through it are whisps of cloud and birds.

I put aside my pen to share, and make sense of,

Your burning boundlessness of mind

The clearness of your eye,

Because I cannot capture you in rhythmic verse alone.

Your soul abounds. It spreads its wings and soars.

Each feather of that bird must be but a multitude of thoughts in your clever head

Each cry from that beak a mere whisper from your eternal mouth

And those whisps of vapour, surely, that must be me.

I cannot put aside my pen until I have you written in the stars, love.

I sit, I watch you,

Holding my book for cover,

And you do not notice, engrossed in your mind as you are.

I keep my pen in my hand, distraction,

twilight glinting off its metal nib through the window

And you hold your own, filled with twilight ink,

your fingers stained with it,

your own book smudged with it.

I hold my book as cover for my brazen eyes

and yet I see you there, reclining:

The fullness of your shoulders, the slope of your back,

you lay in the bed, the thinker, perfect.

The heart-stained sheets around your waist.

The orange pillow behind you, sagging slowly.

All I can see is the burnished sun setting beyond the snow-capped peaks.

There is not enough oxygen up here for me.

I cannot set aside my pen until the star charts show your form in constellation, but I am running out of ink.

I used it all to paint the fathomless depths of your eyes.

And while I was distracted you came close

and tried to warn of danger

But, perhaps, I think you are the true danger:

your hands are near.

Your fingers sink into fur

do you think it is snow?

Or do you somehow seek warmth?

You are so rash. You are the sun-bird.

I have little warmth to give, yet you persist,

and you are more dangerous than a snow bridge.

You are here, and proud of it, and I cannot set aside my pen.

We have spoken much. Recited ancient history,

performed ancient literature.

I should not know poetry.

And yet, I see a verse, and I am struck, when you are gone—

how I wish to see the little boat she of Ise rows

as you fly beyond the mountains without me.

I cannot bear not knowing when I shall see you again.

But back you paddle,

radiant, rising,

and I should not know poetry.

But you have given me a pen.

But, I suppose

the most human thing of all

is the attempt to write the knowledge

of seeing another's soul.

Aaaaaahh you actually did it!!! Yes, it was my order and I... indeed need to sit down... or better lay down actually...

Thank you so much for sharing, that's beautiful! 😭💙 Maybe there's something wrong with me, but to me it doesn't sound down or sad, quite heartfelt, wholesome and full of love actually?? (says the person found curled on the floor in the pool of tears)

#ask #destiny #poetry #felwinter #osiris #i guess it's safe to tag as #felris #also i'm very sorry for taking so long to post this ask!!#i've been totally braindead recently #i still am but a little less already!#“i have little warmth to give yet you persist” stuck in my head somehow #very on point #like in the general scale of their relationship i think #felwinter isn't sure what is it osiris wants from him so desperately #and if he even has that to give #and asking doesn't help because osiris himself isn't sure what he wants either #everything but more???#poor fellas struggling with their 0.5 emotional intellect stat

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ohitslen · 1 year

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Thinking and headcannoning the shit out of angry Stampede! Vash and how Wolfwood deals with that first thing in the morning because i think him getting angry about something and letting down some of his mask in those genuine moments of anger is super awesome

Before we continue I have not read the manga yet so if you read something incredibly obvious or redundant to your experience, well, haha or something OQNENW

This is a VERY LONG Vashwood ramble I have to put SOMEWHERE or I will explode, so feel free to join if you want.

Vash is an overall very expressive person right? very emotional too generally, but the thing is I like drawing people getting angry so that’s what you are getting from me.

And I also often think about the fact that it’s Wolfwood and Knives the ones that have seen him be like that (most often than not towards them).

Wolfwood specifically, I think that he WOULD get scared because when Vash is angry angry, he just seethes and looks like he is three seconds away from being love and peace to hate and war. These are probably the moments in where he carries the most resemblance to Knives, and to anybody that has experienced the man firsthand they know how scary that is because everyone and their moms knows that he does not hesitate to resort to murder if he is upset about something or if it’s inconvenient to him, so it is rightfully terrifying to even think of him getting mad.

Now take the same idea and apply it to Vash, he is so friendly and playful all the time and he gets kicked around all the time too, that it would be almost impossible to imagine him getting angry in a genuine way. That is UNTIL his ideals and morals are being countered or challenged by someone and THAT’S when people are gently reminded that oh yeah he can get mad too, and really fucking mad at that.

The peak of his anger doesn’t last for too long because he tries to level himself quickly, he is aware of how he can look when he gets like that, and it would be showing a little too much about how he is not very human in nature for what he is comfortable with. I think that when he gets mad his expression turns into something very vulnerably honest, to the point in where he unconsciously looks imposing and demanding, paired with his uncanny vibes it really is a treat and anyone at the other end of it would be other than also upset, quite scared. Like Wolfwood.

There is something very obviously other about Vash and he has the privilege of knowing just exactly why that is, and considering that his brother has a record for being a certain way when angry, knowing what he is does not soothe him at all. Then again, Wolfwood cares for him still and he is a stubborn guy himself, so even when most likely scared shitless, he would not move his ground, and the only thing that reassures him that things will be fine, is Vash’s pacific nature and also knowing that he cares deeply for him too, but that is a thing he would not think too much about other than the flash of thought that it is in the moment.

Vash is petty as hell too, he remains silent and gives the cold shoulder to the other person that was involved in the argument, and it is usually, once again, Wolfwood at the end of that stick. Wolfwood is a “mind your business and I mind mine” kind of guy considering he never asks things, but traveling with that idiot and having to be with him 24/7 and being given the silent treatment has to be uncomfortable at best incredibly annoying at worst. So even though he won’t change his opinion most of the times, he still insists on talking to him idly sometimes after they argue, something he would usually not do.

All Vash ever responds with are the necessary answers, at first shrugs or nods, then very short and to the point sentences, he eventually warms up to him again and they talk the way they usually do; and just like that things seems to be at bay for the time being until the next unavoidable argument comes by.

No matter how many times they argue, when things escalate and Vash begins to show his very honest anger, Wolfwood’s instincts would be screaming at him to stop it and to get away, because whatever Vash is feeling is reeking of a danger that no matter how enhanced he might be, he is NOT gonna make it through whatever will happen to him worse comes to worst. But when has he ever actually heard his instincts when it comes to dealing with Vash. So he always replies and stays.

He is somehow one of the very few (almost non existent) people who can deal with Vash when he is like that, one thing is getting mad at Vash and the other is him getting mad at you, and he has bite alright, he will say things that can come across as hurtful and very venomous when he starts to get more visceral, and yeah the whole predator kind of vibe he can give off is there too.

Maybe Wolfwood also knows how hurt Vash would feel if he retreats because of how scared he feels and that’s why he doesn’t back away. It would be reasonable if he did, hell he doesn’t owe him shit for all he knows and he would be in his whole right to run away scared if he wanted, but for one it would be too cowardly, and two Vash would be once again pushed away for being something not human, and that would be a scar he would carry for his whole life and Wolfwood does not want to be a part of that. So that’s another reason to the ever growing list of “why don’t I just let this be”.

There is an odd sense of comfort in seeing Vash get mad, knowing that the man knows his ground, that even he has lines he won’t allow anyone to cross, that he can allow himself to feel something genuine for once and not the fake little things he is always doing. It is the positive side Wolfwood tries to see in those situations and what he has to remind himself over and over again so he doesn’t flinch away. Good thing he has some practice in arguments thanks to his little siblings back at the orphanage, practice he refuses to let go and holds on to dear life because he needs any crumb of reason at those moments.

At some point when hands are involved, when a clench to the shirt and a push to the shoulder escalates to shoving the other to the ground and a punch to the gut, Wolfwood goes full survival mode because no one told him that Vash was THAT strong and THAT heavy and THAT intimidating. He could have guessed after having watched the man fight. He is capable and strong, he usually moves with a certain preciseness and care under the goofy display, he may twirl around and stumble when dodging, but he is dodging and also landing hits.

He knows that Vash is strong and that he is also incredibly careful. But that’s when he is in all his senses with a mostly cool head, so having him hovering over Wolfwood pressing him down rendering him to the ground while very obviously mad and trying to prove his point, he freezes before he can react and fight back.

Those are the times where Vash feels the most guilty after the fight from what Wolfwood can gather and wildly assume. If him not eating (again) for days or even refusing to acknowledge Wolfwood unless necessary is any sign. That behavior can last over a week which is a little too long for Wolfwood’s peace of mind. So he starts poking again because apparently arguing again is the only way to make the bastard answer more. And it usually works, some nudging here and there and putting lemon with salt to the wound seems to do the trick.

It entails more shouting and screaming at each others faces their flaws that they already know like a script, until things start to calm down when Wolfwood reassures him that he is tougher than he looks, and that no matter what he won’t just leave Vash in a ditch, and if they were going to travel together for the future to come they would have to learn how to sort things out. Something he knows neither of them will probably never learn, but it is what it is and that’s what he can resort to at the moment, and it does seem to satisfy Vash a little. So once they are done, and they go their separate ways, never too far from each other, Vash starts to nibble at his food and says or asks little things to Wolfwood, and just like that they are good to go again.

They are both aware that addressing out loud how fucking scary Vash can be at those raw moments of anger, would be like painting a line of ‘I am this and you are that so we shouldn’t be doing this’ that neither of them would actually want to have. So even when yeah it can be horribly scary and surprisingly intimidating to deal with Vash when he is angry, Wolfwood is willing to stay and fight with him if that’s what he wants, if that’s what he needs. Even if it’s starting to take a toll on him. He is getting used to it though so it will be fine.

Probably.

#MY BRAIN IS ALWAYS ROTATING THEM LIKE A CHICKEN IN MY HEAD #The bickering and the fights and the conflicts they have are an important piece of them methinks #so it is impossible for me to not think of them like that all the time. I just think that their whole power dynamic is very interesting #because realistically Vash is very much capable of doing a lot of things to prove his point but he never does thanks to his philosophy #something that has saved WW from being absolutely obliterated into little pieces I believe #I bet Vash’s intrusive thoughts must be WILD because ain’t no way that man holds back from so much violence without it marinating inside #of his mind okay just saying #fellas is it gay to be kind of into your bro pinning you to the ground when he is in emotional distress and you are scared as fuck?#trigun #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun stampede #vash #wolfwood #nicholas trigun #vashwood #lenssi rambles #lenssi writes #because that’s too fucking long.#I just thought of this but I think that Vash starts to let himself express more of his anger with each argument they have #like at first he is more wary. still upset but careful bc as I mentioned at the beginning he knows what he looks like when he is that upset #but after seeing that WW doesn’t really make a big reaction other than ofc arguing back he sort of starts to just #let himself go a little more. it’s not exactly the preferable outcome. but for once Vash is able to get mad and shout and express himself #almost fully with someone. and a part of him knows that WW can handle it. that he is capable of going through it #it’s a part of Vash that he doesn’t like when he’s in such a volatile state of being. but there is comfort in knowing that WW can take it #and that WW will answer back too. with just as much bite as he does #oooh I’m so normal about them oooh I lie a lot also

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