#november 2022 fic list

[lululawrence]

lululawrence's November 2022 Fic List

Previous Fic Lists / Lulu’s List Podcast Masterpost

Happy 28th! Here are the incredible fics I was able to read this month. As always, be sure to show your love and appreciation for all of the hard work our fandom authors have put into their fics with kudos, nice comments, and (when applicable) reblogging their fic posts!

What If It's Us? by @chloehl10 / lovelarry10 (73k, M, Harry/Louis, Big Bang fic, famous/non-famous, bookshop owner Harry, singer Louis, fan Harry, secret identity, kind of, flirting, angst, online bullying, angst with a happy ending, this fic was so lovely and such a great read, i couldn't put it down)

someone save me (if you will) by @zouisalmightie / the_taste_of_ink (4k, M, Harry/Louis, Wordplay fic, Avengers AU, Hawkeye Harry, Black Widow Zayn, Iron Man Niall, Hulk Liam, Captain America Louis, action packed, violence, tension, happy ending, this fic gripped me from the beginning trying to figure out what exactly was going on and how it would be taken care of it and it was just such an amazing read, the world building was fab in such few words)

(Help!) not just anybody by @uhoh-but-yeah-alright / yeah_alright (4k, M, Harry/Louis, Wordplay fic, accidental date, coworker Grimmy, ot4 mount a rescue mission, it's hilarious, and there's such a great twist)

Playing Games With You by @ireallysawanangel / crimsontheory (3k, NR, Harry/Louis, Wordplay fic, part 1 of a series, Uni AU, friends to lovers, ish?, this is pre-slash in this part, but you can see it building up, the setup has me SO excited to read the rest of the series, i can't wait to finish it)

false security by @jaerie / jaerie (2k, E, Harry/Louis, Wordplay fic, part 1 of a series, flower fairy AU, kidnapping, rape/non-con, dark fic, the set up and world building of this is WILD and so fascinating, once again i cannot wait to keep reading this series, it's going to be so great, I can just tell)

Love's Extraction by @iamasphodelknox / asphodelknox (4k, NR, Harry/Louis, Wordplay fic, Star Wars AU, kind of, it's adjacent for sure, it's in that world even if it isn't Star Wars proper, if that makes sense lol, this fic was just stellar I loved it so much omgosh i can't even explain all the things i loved)

Rescue Mission by @vintageumbroshirt / 28sunflowers (3k, G, Harry/Louis, Wordplay fic, Dystopian AU, Rescue Mission, established relationship, tension, action, this fic was so intense from the moment it starts and it's just like WOW so much i loved it)

More Beautiful Than the Puzzle series by @ponymom-stuff / ponymom (7k, NR, Harry/Louis, Wordplay fic, Royal AU, cat herding, hahaha, famous/non-famous, secrets, this series was so fucking adorable and i loved the way everything was laid out and revealed to the readers, it was a lot of fun)

All Out of Love by @sun-tomato / SunTomato (33k, G, Harry/Louis, Big Bang fic, Soulmates, Cupid Harry, Cupid Niall, human Louis, supernatural fic, magic, holy shit the way the author created the entire world, and structured everything was fascinating and beautiful and heartbreaking and just, wow, angst, with a happy ending, but you do cry holy hell do you cry, at least i did lol, so fucking good)

Under a Bronze Moon series by @soidiallednine / soidiallednine (38k, M, Harry/Louis, Wordplay fic, I specifially read parts 2-6 this month, sci-fi AU, warring planets, Harry and Louis are enemies-ish, secret relationships, enemies to lovers, the journey they go on is truly incredible, action, danger, the worldbuilding is incredible, just all of it is so fucking incredible, it was one of my favorite stories i've read this year)

contentment series by @ohmydarlin / heartland (2k, M, Harry/Louis, Wordplay fic, I specifically read parts 2 and 3 this month, established relationship, Uni AU, Pride and Prejudice, so sweet and cute and lovely)

Camboy on Lockdown series by @reminiscingintherain / reminiscingintherain (12k, E, Harry/Louis, Wordplay fic, I specifically read parts 3-6 this month which were for wordplay, camboy Louis, quarantine, strangers to lovers, flirting, lots of smut lol, this entire series was so funny and hot and so amusing, it's such a fun read i loved it)

Where the World has Come Together by @londonfoginacup / LadyLondonderry (26k, M, Harry/Louis, Big Bang fic, fantasy AU, magic, protectors, halfling Louis, vampire Harry, secret identities, enemies to lovers, action, i don't think i can fully explain this fic to anyone but i fucking loved every moment of it)

Chasing, Searching, Dreaming by @parmahamlarrie / parmahamlarrie (46k, E, Harry/Louis, Big Bang fic, soulmates AU, friends to lovers, pining, all the pining, SO MUCH PINING OMG, grief, angst, with a happy ending, single dad Louis, kinda, he's newly become the parental figure for the little twins, this fic was so beautiful and the art was amazing and just wowowow)

A Friend's Gambit - Wordplay 2020 series by @laynefaire / Layne Faire (HisDarlin) (16k, T/NR, Zayn/Liam, Wordplay fic, I specifically read parts 2-5 this month, strangers to friends to lovers, wisdom teeth removal, this was so sweet and funny and just lovely from start to finish, these characters were so soft and i wanted to take care of all of them, and i'm in the series so you can enjoy me as a dental assistant hehe)

[bakanokiwami]

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TOP 10 PODCASTS ON AO3 BASED ON NUMBER OF FANWORKS (2013-2022)

YEAR = November 6 (or closest date to it if unavailable) of that year

To make this bar chart race, all series titles in the Other Media Category on November 6 (or the closest date to it) of every year were copy-pasted from Wayback Machine to Google Sheets, rearranged according to number of fanworks, and manually filtered since not all podcasts were marked as such. Then I inputted all the top 10 data to Flourish to turn into a bar chart race.

Some web series like Critical Role and Dimensions 20 released audio-only versions of their works too, but I left them out since they were listed was a web series on ao3 and more known as one too. 

Similarly, radio shows which only had podcasts years after they started are not included. That means Cabin Pressure, which I accidentally added in the 2022 Top 20 ranking last week, is not included here because it was only rereleased as a podcast in 2019, and 90% of the fanworks it has now are from before 2019.

All nonfiction podcasts have also been excluded (Not that there were many), because with RPFs, it’s hard to tell if the fic in question is just based on the podcast or because of the things the person has done outside of it. 

The bar race starts on 2013 because there were no podcasts in the Other Media category before that year.

The first podcast fandom to post on Ao3 was We’re Alive on January 1, 2013, followed by The Thrilling Adventure Hour on January 27, 2013, and then Welcome to Night Vale at June 2013.

In 2014-2016, Sparks Nevada Marshal on Mars, a segment from The Thrilling Adventure Hour, was also in the top 10, but I didn’t included it since it’s not its own podcast.

TOTAL = the total fanworks of all the top 10 over the years, not the whole podcast fandom itself

Thanks for understanding and hopefully I didn’t miss anything! Apologies for any mistakes, I’m still a podcast noob.🙏

ETA: Locked fanworks aren't included in the count because Wayback Machine can’t view those, only Ao3 users can.

[81folklore]

older - CL16

pairings: charles leclerc x male!singer!reader (fc: luke hemmings)

summary: singer yn ln releases a love song with his boyfriend, and the public are not prepared for who it is about

authors note: this has been on my mind for SO LONG. i honestly dont like how many fics ive been doing on the same people (charles, lando etc) but whenever i go to start a new one on my list for someone else i think of something that i have to do😭 also in this reader is not a part of 5sos but close friends with the 3, wfttwtaf is readers album and older is exclusivly the readers song

authors note 2: i wanted to quickly clarify i am NOT speculating that charles or luke are gay/queer and this is not my intentions. luke obviously sings older and i find it easier to visualise it this way, while the reader in this is male, this could also be read as gn!reader. this is FICTION please do not tkae this as me speculating anything

authors note 3: i didnt really know what i was doing with this so its kind of all over the place and very rushed :/ but then again when arent my smau all over the place?? also can you tell i hate writing comments by the way i just dont😭

masterlist

yourusername

liked by pierregasly, ashtonirwin and 818,937 others

we started this song together back in 2020 and picked it back up at the end of 2022

'Older' was originally a voice memo of a 50’s-style love song that we wrote together, then forgot about. when thinking of concepts for my debut album i stumbled across the memo and fell in love with it all over again, but i put it aside yet again as to me, it deserved more than the album

the song has changed a lot from the original voice memo, but the meaning has stayed the same throughout. despite all the beauty, the ups and downs of a long-term relationship over many years, there’s inevitably going to be the worst moment of your love because one of you is going to lose each other

capturing those feelings in a song was tricky but ultimately we wrote from the heart and i think it shows in the song itself

this has always been a song between us, so having him play on this song was very importnt to me and im glad he said yes

older is now yours

comments on this post have been limited

yourusername

liked by landonorris, calumhood and 1,727,338 others

im very pleased to announce a very special one off show at the Royal Albert Hall in London this November 18th. I will be playing a bunch of tracks from my debut album and may be joined to play some others aswell! Tickets on sale this monday at 10 am BST. Lots of love always, yn x

comments on this post have been limited

yourusername

liked by 5sos, charles_leclerc and 2,719,936 others

thank you for an incredible night at the royal albert hall

looking back at the best night of my life, i need to thank each and every one of you who allowed this dream to come true, i will never be able to thank you guys enough

performing in my dream venue, with my favorite people in the world was something i never thought was possible and yet here i am, writing this still on my high from last night

thank you to my friends; michael, ashton and calum who took the time to come to london and perform their songs with me, thank you for always loving me and agreeing to my crazy ideas

to my team and everyone who worked to make this night as special as it could be, thank you. thank you for making my htoughts a reality and making this night as wonderful as possible

thank you to the staff who worked throughout the show to make sure everyone was safe, well and looked after. you truly do not get as much credit as you deserve and i apreciate the hard work you put in to keep everyone happy

thank you to those who joined me, i wish each and every one of you who wanted to could have been there. thank you for singing along and listening to me pour my heart and soul into my music

thank you for letting me do this x

view comments

user55: not the pcd hitting already☹️

user1: and im supposed to pretend i didnt see yn and 5sos perform os/co??

user89: CHARLES?? YN IS DATING CHARLES??

user91: AND HE CAME ON STAGE?? AND THEY PERFORMED OLDER??

user50: i cant believe i saw this all happen live

user47: THANK YOU TO WHOEVER WAS RUNING THE GRAINY LIVESTREAM I OWE YOU MY LIFE🧎🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️

ashtonirwin: thank you for everything yn. youre a real life angel

user16: NO CHARLES MENTION??

user9: BESTIE HE HAS A WHOLE POST

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly, michaelclifford and 3,619,273 others

after having time to process this show, I feel so overcome with gratefulness. my music means so much to me and seeing so many people resonate with it in a live space was so special for me.

charlie, my life would literally fall apart without you and this would have never happened without you giving me the confidence to do so, i hold so much love and admiration for you

thank you for joining me on such a special night and performing our song with me, thank you for sticking with me through it all and thank you for allowing me to share this part of my life with you

i sometimes wonder where i would be if i didnt find you, if i wasnt blessed with your love. i try to think about the times before you, before us, but both feel impossible to do after feeling your love

life with you is so special and i promise to always cherish and love you

merci de m'avoir laissé vieillir avec toi, merci de m'avoir laissé t'adorer, merci de m'avoir choisi (thank you for letting me get old with you, thank you for letting me adore you, thank you for choosing me)

yn x

tagged: charles_leclerc

comments on this post have been limited

charles_leclerc: mon ange, je t'aimerai toujours (my angel, I will always love you)

charles_leclerc: je suis tellement privilégiée d'être celle que tu aimes🤍🤍 (I'm so privileged to be the one you love)

yourusername: vieillir avec toi ne semble pas si effrayant🖤🖤 (growing old with you doesn't seem so scary)

[f-t-e]

I started watching SUPERNATURAL in November 2020. I know, I know. My partner and I had been isolating alone since March. The timing felt right. I went though a wild amount of upheaval and trauma over the next year and SPN was there for me through it all. It was THE show at THE time and it kept me afloat when I needed it the most. Since November 2021 I've written just about 110,000 words of SPN fanfic, a number that seems unbelievable to me, and that too has been a real blessing to my creative life, no matter what haters say. (why didn't I write my own novels in that time? Because I have a hobby, Karen, and I love it.) And I've read about 500000x that much fanfic, which has been the biggest blessing of all. (ETA: oh right, if you want to read my fic, you can find my stuff here, I wrote a fic where Dean reads books. Lots of books.)

I know I'm a nobody in this fandom but I thought on this, our #DestielDay, I would submit my own humble rec list. I've curated this very deliberately: every fic here has just about 4000 hits or less (most under 3000) and all were published in 2020 or after. So, sort of a rec list for some lesser known and newer fics, something you maybe haven't stumbled on yet. Especially thank you to @jewishcharliebradbury, her rec lists gave me a place to start back in the day and I have tried to model the depth and quality they brought to their lists. I tried to link to everyone's tumblr, but if I missed one, let me know.

Most of all, thank you to everyone who has EVER created something for this fandom, from 2005 to 2023. I am so thankful and, honestly, honored to be among your number. You're not supposed to be cringe and say a show saved your life...but SUPERNATURAL saved me, it really did. See y'all when the movie/reboot drops, to quote Ryan Gosling in The Notebook: IT WASN'T OVER, IT STILL ISN'T OVER. And I'm glad.

-----

Finale Fix-It & S15 and Beyond

What The Moon Was Saying by Amiril (@runawaymarbles)

This is hands-down one of the coolest “Dean Rescues Cas from the Empty” fics I have ever read and the concept is brilliantly structured to mirror the literal and metaphorical things Dean needs to give up and let go to get free. Every scenario is very satisfying and they make sense, is there any better feeling? Dean is very open in this, but in a believable way that still has edges. And, oh, the reunion is so good. Plus all the family stuff. Just excellent, exactly what you want in a fic like this: lovely, well-written, smart, fulfilling, all the pieces clicking, the show but better.

Awake and Annoying by skycruise

I love the use and passage of time in this one, it has some real impact, and I love the way Dean gets into the Empty (so smart, fits just right) and what I REALLY love in this one is the way it lets Dean be really clear-eyed and honest about his relationship with Sam, both the strengths and the weaknesses. And the last line, very clever and moving inverse of one of fandom’s favorite things. 

Living the life you chose by allthismusic

THEEEEE post finale Sam Winchester-Outsider-POV this fandom needs. Sam is absolutely awesome in this, the most believable, loving, realistic mix of “I knew all along” and “I had no idea” versions of Sam, landing somewhere I think that’s really true and in character. It fills in and develops so many gaps and silences in what the show let Sam know in the absolute best way. Best Brother Sam is a weakness of mine and he really shines here, there for Dean in the best ways but also coming into his own, I love it so very much. (this author also has a very great 2022 Big Bang fic, hugely recommend that one too.)

your ear to the wound that whispers by EmandFandems (@lazarusemma)

Who doesn’t love a HANDPRINT FIC?!? And boy this is such a good one. It follows Dean and his thoughts on the handprint from the first touch all the way to fixing the finale and it simply buzzes with longing and desire, tenderness and rawness. It’s great insight in lot of ways into Dean’s journey. It’s short but fulfilling and oh that very perfect last line. (this author also has a lot of great Jupernatural content.)  

Somewhere Off in the Dark by magickastiel 

Another awesome fic that traces Dean’s shifting/growing feelings for Cas from when he shows up in his hotel rooms to a HEA fix it after canon. Dean, again, is handled so deftly in this one, his confusion and sorrow at all the times Cas is slipping away from him all the way through the things he won’t let himself know. He feels really true in this one, sharp and tender in the best Dean ways. Also it has an agonizingly romantic end, you love to end up there.

Pins and Feathers by theskywasblue (@buttherewasnogod)

This author has so many freaking good SPN fics, omg it was almost impossible to pick just one to include on this list. Go treat yourself with their entire list because there’s so much good stuff there! But this one, oh I am a sucker for a finale fix-it that lets Dean be this tender. While I LOVE fics where he just jumps right into Cas’s arms (and write them lol) I also feel like this is so true to Dean too: that “maybe I misunderstood, maybe I shouldn’t say anything, maybe he doesn’t still –” And on top of all that, it’s a “they go the beach” fic and it gets the details of it so right, sand in your toes and all. Tender, amazing slow-burn, real, hot, full of heart and longing and everything unspoken and just waiting. Very satisfying!

i loved you first by kalmialatifolia

A set of four short fics that create an entire world of feeling and emotion. These feel like little whispered stories told under the covers, very atmospheric. There’s one very sexy one, a haircutting one (so good) and they’re just intimate. All together a great set and did I mention they’re in the “Cas saves himself” genre which is mmmm an underrated treasure.

no other faith is light enough for this place by anonymous 

A fix-it fic that has a particularly unique and beautiful visual of both how and why Cas comes back. The mechanics behind it are fairly standard but the way this author creates the visual of it, the sheer emotion and force behind it and how it happens, it really stood out to me and stuck with me. It’s Dean being brave enough to really feel and the way that just blossoms – lovely, aching, full-tilt wonderful.

 no proof, one touch by TakeThisWaltz (@watchinghimrakeleaves)

One thing I absolutely cannot get enough of is fic where Cas is hiding out from Dean in heaven. It just hits. And the only thing better is Dean chasing him down and the WAY he does it in this fic, methodically and – well the method (sobs) it is so endearing and OBVIOUS and gives Dean a chance to shout in all the best ways. This one is just real sweet and kind of goofy and if they have to be in heaven, I want them to still be these same two dorks.

Stay by redbrickrose

This is a post S15x18 from Cas’s POV and I think it’s very true to where he would be in the moment of getting yanked out of the Empty: resigned, hesitant about what he has in front of him, still a little in shock. And then. And then. Sweet and simple and Dean gets a chance to say, say, say it. This author has a good post series AU and a lovely little spate of S15 codas, all good. And then wrote this in real-time in the week after 15x18 Despair and right before 15x19 Inherit the Earth aired (could you just sob over the possibilities?!) and then hasn’t wrote anything since and that’s a shame but, like, yeah I get it.

like a one-two punch by Muir_Wolf (@muirmarie)

Don’t you love a short fic that feels like it’s a whole novel? This goes AU after 14x20 Moriah but it is a truly delightful twist on how Chuck could’ve reacted there and it makes Dean sharp as a knife, which is one really resonant image woven through this fic. Great imagery here and so many clever solutions for the lazy plotting of S15, including simply one of my all-time favorites in any fic ever solutions to Cas’s deal (genius) and getting rid of Chuck. Brilliant like a puzzle box yet still full of so much fucking joy.

maybe i like pleasure pain by tothewillofthepeople (@kvothes)

The fact that this was written in October 2023 and is so agonizingly good fills my heart with joy and tells me Destiel will never die lol. Cas, in particular, is great in this – he’s having a hard time adjusting to being in a body and with all the fuzz of the world. I love fics where Cas struggles with coming back from the Empty and this uses a really unique approach to it: Cas facing sensory overload and not knowing how to feel but wanting it all. Lovely, hot, Dean is just right in this too.

Earlier Canon (pre S15)

Proverbs 13:12 by starlingcas (@angelcasendgame)

Many might say I am biased because Renu has beta’ed everything I have written in the SPN fandom and they can read my brain and make everything I write better. But it’s not just that. Renu has done something beautiful and delicate in this fic, which is about Dean and Cas getting trapped in a net together (forced proximity trope, yes please) and weaves a web of its own; pulling you in just as they are pulled together. This is set mostly in early S14 (before fixing the finale in the most heart-healing way) and captures that feeling so well. There’s so much that’s unsaid between them yet still conveyed and Renu absolutely nails that, along with the tender longing that was always there. This is a fic to relish.

you may tire of me (as our december sun is setting) by deludedfantasy

You know how the show just sometimes is like “uh so anyway uh then Cas…uh…left.” and it just doesn’t make one lick of sense? FINALLY FINALLY a fic where Dean says “I’ll go with you,” and then goes because he actually would do that. This is a post Tombstone fic so it is exactly where/when he WOULD go and it is tender and hesitant and aching in just all the ways it would be between the two of them at this time. It’s about needing to keep someone in sight, it’s about having another chance to say something so important, it’s slow and soft and just right for the characters in this place. I could read this one about 100 times.

the anatomy of flightless birds by cowlovely (@dollhousemary)

This fic is basically the way you feel when you get all cozy and snug underneath your favorite blanket. This is a domestic-life-in-the Bunker S9 fic where everyone behaves like they are in character and not just like they have to get Cas off screen because the writers panicked. You’ll just want to curl up in this fic and savor it the way you wrap your fingers around a hot beverage on a very cold day, there’s no better way to describe it.

virtue by JenTheSweetie

I think I’ve read this about 100 times and it still gets me everytime? It’s a five things fic about Dean and Cas hooking up and it’s all you’ve ever wished for. This is set in an amorphous S8 and it is not just agonizingly hot but also romantic and very funny. It feels really in character! Sam is hilarious, Dean is clueless but bowled over and letting himself be swept up, Cas is delighting in every second and smarter than he lets on and it ALL feels fated and lovely and sexy and just splendid. (this author only has 3 SPN fics but they are all so good and if you try sometimes, well you just might find is an absolutely brilliant deconstruction of Dean learning the differences between “needing” and “wanting.”)

Romance at the Motel 6 by shelia_amour 

This fic makes me feel like Stefon from SNL. This fic has everything: Cas and Sam pretending to be married, just the right amount of jealous Dean, Dean randomly pretending to be married to Cas, Dean realizing maybe this isn’t so fake after all, motel vibes, Cas in Dean’s clothes, Cas getting bee slippers. If you are not sold on this already, we are very different people. So good, aches just right. (set in a kind of “whenever” of canon, but I like to put it somewhere in S8.)

que sera sera by Purple_Starflower (@hauntedpearl)

The epitome of how fanfic unfolds for us all the things that COULD happen. You can’t PROVE to me Dean and Cas never snuck off to snuggle and feed Dean’s touch-starvation early in S13. I had to check when I finished because I just couldn’t believe this fic was under 4000 words because it feels so full of touch, longing, the things unspoken, and all the ways Dean was reaching, reaching, reaching. The best kind of ache, and everything by this author is lovely. 

the hard edge that you’re settling for by lesspopped (@trekkiedean)

This is some S10 Demon!Dean that made my stomach hurt and my heart ache and I absolutely loved it and I absolutely hated it and it all felt so REAL with who Demon!Dean was and could have been. There’s a TW for mildly dubious consent in this, but to me, Cas was so agonizingly true to who he was/where he was at this point in canon too. This fic is gloriously, claustrophobically intimate. I say unbearable because as a reader you know that this closeness, this intimacy, is what Dean wants/craves/deserves but can only give himself as a demon and the author does an exquisite job at getting all that across. Hurts so good! 

four of swords by sundryvillians (eurythmix) (@perenial)

Can the world ever have enough post 12x12 fic? The answer is, of course, no. Dean and Cas bake bread and in the soft space of creating something with their own hands, get so close to the words Cas said. It’s about healing and anger and making something just because you are so tired of everything breaking. If that alone isn’t enough to convince you, let me also throw in this is another one of those “possible off-screen moments in canon” that gives them something honest and tender and raw and it feels so very possible. 

Fifteen Prayers From the Faithless by koyas_cat

Short, achy, that sweet sting. A set of prayers for Cas from the beginning to the end, full of all the things Dean doesn’t let himself say outloud and just reflecting the changes in their connection over alllll the years. So good.

[babydollmarauders]

IF THIS WAS A MOVIE — DAWSON MERCER

dawson mercer x fem!reader

part of the Speak Now Fic List

summary: in which y/n and Dawson fought before he left for New Jersey and now y/n has regrets.

notes: this takes place in March of 2023. i cried writing this, but that could just be me because i’m a sensitive and emotional baby. (4.6k words)

i was pathetic.

utterly pathetic.

i knew so, my friends said so, even my family said so.

it’s been six months and i still can’t bring myself to do anything besides regret everything that went down last September.

*** September 12th, 2022 ***

“why are you waiting until the day before i’m supposed to leave, to tell me this?” he fumes, glancing at me with glaring eyes as i sink back onto the mattress.

“i wasn’t sure how to tell you, Daws.” i reply meekly. my fingers fumble together, an anxious tick that’s plagued me since grade school.

“how are you just gonna leave me like this?” Dawson huffs, halting his packing in order to stare me down, and i know that no answer i give him will be good enough right now.

“i’m not leaving you, Dawson. i’m just-” i pause, mulling over the right words for a moment. “deferring the move for a couple of months.”

“right.” he nods. “and then you’ll defer it for a few more months, right? until finally i get back and you never had to move at all?”

“thats not what’s happening!”

i scare myself with my unnaturally raised voice. i’m not usually one to lose my temper, but the fact that he’s not understanding my reasoning and seeing where i’m coming from, instead accusing me of things i would never do, has me frustrated.

“when have i ever given you the impression that i wasn’t gonna move at all? there are just a few loose ends i have to tie up here before i can move to another country for you!”

“for me?” he scoffs, shaking his head. “this is for us!”

“it’s your dream Dawson, not mine. but i’m willing to make the sacrifice of leaving home, if you just give me the time!”

he lets out a hollow laugh, sending chills down my spine at the empty sound.

“how much time do you need? we already did long distance for my rookie year. the plan was always for you to join me this season! it’s not my fault that you didn’t time things out accordingly!”

“i never said it was your fault! you’re putting words in my mouth!” i shout, rising from the end of the bed in order to seem more confident. “i’m just saying that i have some things to do, and i’ll drive down, with all my stuff, in a couple months!”

“it’s not that easy! i can’t help you move in once the season is going!” he reminds me, as if i haven’t already thought about that.

“i know, and that’s fine! i can do it on my own!” i tell him. “i just can’t up and leave right now! i’ll move down in November!”

“that’s what you say now.” he rolls his eyes, zipping up the duffel bag that holds some of the clothes and gear that he keeps here in my apartment.

“why do you keep saying that?” i screech. i don’t understand these assumptions he’s making, that i’ll never join him in New Jersey.

“because that’s what’s gonna happen! you don’t love me enough to move, just say it! instead of putting the move off until we’ve grown apart and you don’t have to make it!”

“get out.” the words slip past my lips before i even have the time to think them through. his eyes widen in surprise, but i refuse to keep fighting with him about this. “if you think that lowly of me, then just leave. if we’re just gonna fight, then i don’t wanna talk to you.”

i stomp through the hallways, trailing behind him, and i watch him leave my first floor apartment, heading straight for his car. i slam the door shut behind him, twisting the lock and letting my forehead fall against the door with a thud.

i turn, pressing my back against the door and allowing my body to slide down until my butt rests against the floor. thinking over the entire fight, tears fill my eyes now that i’m alone.

what just happened?

he’ll come back. he has to.

right?

*** PRESENT ***

he never came back.

in fact he hasn’t contacted me since that fight. completely ghosting me. shunning me out of his bright new life.

i still wake up most mornings, reaching out towards the cold sheets of the right side of the bed, expecting him to be there. his bright smile and his infectious body temperature, like my own personal space heater. but i know he’s not there, and i’m not sure he’ll ever occupy that space again.

and now i lay confined to the left side of the bed, my body still unconsciously trained not to sprawl out.

the thin white sheet that covers my body doesn’t do much to protect me from the cold Newfoundland air that seeps in through my broken bedroom window, but i make no move to get up.

it’s long past noon on my day off, but i only woke an hour ago; having been up late into the night, thinking back what felt like a thousand memories of Dawson and i, trying to distract myself of the deafening silence that resulted to my own heartbeat in my ears.

back when we were together and happy.

in high school, when we met.

when i attended his QMJHL games, and when we would go out to eat afterwards, him listening to whatever mindless gossip i had learned through my friends, and me nodding along to his hockey talk and the stories of what stupid things his teammates did before that days game.

when he met my parents for the first time, and when i met his.

when he would get annoyed that we were persuaded to bring his siblings with us places, and i would lace our hands together while he drove, encouraging him to tune out his brother and sister arguing in the back seat over who got to control the music.

back when we had the kind of love that i only ever thought existed in movies.

i reach over to my nightstand, retrieving my phone. and despite knowing this would only hurt me more, i click into my camera roll, entering the still open photo album of our relationship.

i restart at the beginning, the very first photo we ever took together. when we were only fourteen and didn’t know where life would take us. we were strictly friends at the time, meeting through our other friends, who thought we would be cute together.

then i get to the photos when we were fifteen. when Dawson asked me to the 2017 valentine’s dance at school. when we finally started dating. when we were in that awkward stage of finding what our relationship was like now that we had taken the next step.

getting to the pictures of us when we were sixteen was like watching a romantic movie. most were taken after his games, some taken by friends while i kissed him in congratulations of a win or hugged him after a loss. the honeymoon year.

then came the videos. seventeen year old us thought we were the cutest. two years together meant we were a lot more comfortable around each other. videos of him doing face masks with me. of us dancing around his kitchen at two in the morning, nothing providing light besides the open refrigerator.

year three of our relationship was a little trickier. eighteen and we were graduating high school, with plenty of pictures in our caps and gowns to prove it. the year he got drafted by the Devils. that was the year that it really sunk in that he would eventually be leaving. that year, i spent most nights wrapped in his arms, no matter where we were. pictures of me on his lap, his arms holding me to him tight, our friends laughing around us, but we were only paying attention to each other. that was the same year that he held me as i cried and whispered promises in my ear that the future distance would do nothing to us. ‘nothing’s gonna change. not for me and you. we’re invincible. we love each other too much to let anything come between us.’ he had whispered, and i believed him.

year four, we spent every waking moment we could together, because we knew the inevitable would happen and he would have to leave in the fall for his NHL debut. photos of him fishing, with me by his side and reading a book. videos of us singing in the car, our hands gripped tightly together, as though we thought the tighter we held on, the more likely it would be that we get through the eventual distance. videos his sister took of me at his debut game, screaming and bursting with pride after he recorded his first NHL point. lots of facetime screenshots and photos from my trips down to visit him in New Jersey.

and finally, i reach year five. a multitude of pictures from when i visited him for our five year anniversary in Jersey. more facetime screenshots as we endured the last few months of long distance until he finally came home for the off-season. those are quickly followed up by early morning pictures i took of him asleep in my bed. i longed for the nights that he would sleepover, and whenever he did choose to stay the night rather than driving back home, my heart would burst with contentment.

the trip down memory lane ends there. we never reached year six, just shy of five months away from it when we had our final fight. it was a month ago now that we would’ve reached that milestone, and i guess that’s when it became all too real for me. when i fell back into the tight hold of regret and i started thinking about him more often than i didn’t. thinking about him being out there somewhere, possibly moving on from me; from us; it feels like a kick to the gut.

we may have had the kind of love from movies, but if this was a movie he would’ve come back by now.

why didn’t he come back?

the thought rattles in my brain as i finally get up from my bed, deeming four in the afternoon an acceptable time to finally start my day.

i run my hands down my face, slightly surprised to pull them away with tears coating my palms. i hadn’t even realized i was crying.

i run through my usual routine lazily; brush my teeth, wash my face, brush my hair, get changed, make something to eat.

i spend most of the next few hours lounged on the couch, binge watching netflix, and another hour eating a snack and mindlessly scrolling through tiktok. and when the clock strikes nine, i do the same thing i’ve been doing for the past six months. the exact thing that my friends and family have told me is probably the reason i can’t move on; i turn on the Devils game.

they play against Carolina tonight, and i’m eager to watch Dawson continue his point streak. last night he officially hit twelve games, with twenty points within those twelve, and i fully believe that he could beat Taylor Hall’s record of nineteen straight games with a point.

however, as the game stretches on, Dawson doesn’t make a point. in fact, his entire demeanor seems off tonight and i flood with worry.

is he feeling okay?

is he feeling burnt out?

what can i do to help?

nothing. i remember. i can’t do anything to help, because he’s not mine to help anymore.

not since six months ago today.

when the game ends —with Dawson’s point streak officially ended— i make myself a quick dinner before popping some sleeping pills, forcing myself to sleep in order to avoid any more thoughts of my ex; and in my sleep drug induced haze, i vaguely remember opening my camera roll before i fall asleep, phone still in hand.

i thought he’d come back by now.

**

the next two weeks go by uneventfully. my days dragging on, consisting only of work, family dinners, watching Dawson’s games, and lounging in my apartment.

it’s on the fifteenth day, that my friends are able to drag me out of my bubble. coaxing me out of my apartment with the promise of free drinks and taking my mind off of my ex-boyfriend.

but despite their well meant intentions, i’m still checking my phone for the Devils vs Islanders score every few minutes.

“y/n,” Taylor starts, holding out her hand and leveling me with a disappointed glare. “give me your phone.”

“what?” i stare at her in shock, my lips resting in a parted position. “no.”

“no?” she blinks, clearly surprised by the refusal. “babes, you gotta stop checking that score. give it here.”

i hesitate, my gaze fluttering between her outstretched hand and my iphone.

“gimme,” she urges. “i’ll keep it safe. promise.”

she crosses her finger over her heart before holding her hand out again, and this time, i finally hand over the prized possession.

“i want it back when you drop me off.” i remind her, just as Kenzie comes back with a tray of shots.

“and i will totally do that, i swear.” Taylor nods.

“what are we talking about?” Kenzie chimes, sliding a shot to each of us.

“she took my phone.”

“oh good!” she grins. “i thought i was gonna have to be the bad guy and do it.”

Taylor shakes her head before raising her shot glass, Kenzie and i following suit.

“to the first time in history that we’ve all been single at the same time.” Taylor chants, and technically she’s not wrong.

since our friendship started, at the age of thirteen, at least one of us has always had a boyfriend. and for five straight years, that someone was me. but the reminder doesn’t help cheer me up, nor does it distract me from the fact that he left.

Kenzie grimaces at our friends words, shaking her head.

“what? bad toast?” Taylor asks, her nose scrunching. “sorry, hun. my bad.”

i shrug, feigning nonchalance, and we all down our shots. the burn of the liquor provides a nice distraction, taking my mind away for a moment as i focus solely on taking a sip of soda to rid myself of the taste.

“oh god, tequila?” i shudder, my face contorting in disgust, but Kenzie just laughs.

“hey! i shelled out the money for the good shit! this is no in-the-trash tequila!” she defends.

‘in-the-trash’ being a term we’ve used since we could even start drinking at nineteen, just meaning an alcohol that makes us end the night with our head in a trash can.

“all tequila is in-the-trash tequila, Kenz.” i chuckle as she hands me another shot.

“c’mon, drink up.” she grins. “we have a whole night of wild debauchery ahead of us.”

“i’m gonna be nursing a wicked hangover tomorrow, aren’t i?”

*

it’s hours later, nearly two in the morning, when i’m dropped off at home by an uber. i’m heavily inebriated, my head spinning and my sense of judgment completely gone.

i slump against my front door, digging through my purse to retrieve my keys, before i let myself in. i’m barely into the apartment when i strip myself of my shoes, my keys being thrown on the entryway table along with my purse, which topples over on its side.

from the sideways purse slides my phone and my brows thread together in confusion.

when was the last time i had seen that?

did Taylor put that in there when i wasn’t looking?

or had she given it back to me and i just forgot?

at the sight of the device, the entire reason it got taken from me in the first place comes rushing back. i grab the phone from the table, turning it back on as i clumsily make my way to my bedroom, slumping onto my bed.

i squint, blinking a few times at the brightness that emerges from the screen within the pitch black room. clicking into the espn app, the heart plummets as i see the final score.

Devils lose, 1-5. and maybe it’s the alcohol in my system, heightening my emotions, but my heart breaks for my ex and his team and i want nothing more than to comfort him like i used to.

so with the confidence i could only have when drunk, and no one around to stop me, i pull up his contact, clicking the call button.

it rings, on and on until it finally chimes with his voicemail, and the sound of his voice makes my heart leap in my chest.

oh how i’ve missed his voice.

it beeps again, letting me know i can leave message, and instead of hanging up, like i would with anyone else, the words spill out of my mouth.

“hi, Daws. i’m so sorry about your loss tonight. and i’m sorry about your point streak too. i really thought you could beat the record.”

tears gather at my waterline, my voice beginning to shake as my throat grows thick. this is the first time i’ve called him since that night.

“but i’m- god i’m really so mad at you. you left me, and you didn’t come back. no calls, no texts. did five years mean nothing? i know people change, and these things happen; and i know i said i didn’t wanna talk to you but- this is me officially taking it all back now, okay?”

a sob wracks my chest, and i let my tears flow freely in the comfort of my darkened bedroom.

“i just— i love you so much. and i miss you. i thought you’d come back. you can still come back, if you’d just say you’re sorry. please, come back.”

my thumb smacks down on the red button, ending the call, and i power my phone down, chucking it beside me on the bed.

my cries grow louder and i feel as though i could drown in my own tears. rolling onto my side, my body curls into the fetal position and i wrap my arms around my legs. it feels like i lay like that forever until i’m cried out, my eyelids growing heavier and heavier until i can hold them open no longer, letting myself fall asleep.

i’m woken in the morning to the sun peeking through the curtains that i seemingly forgot to close last night in my drunken stupor.

when did i get home last night?

how many drinks did i have?

stretching out my body, i sit up in my bed, reaching over to my nightstand to retrieve my phone to check the time, but it’s not there. my hands pat through the sheets, finally discovering the device on the other side of the bed, and i power it on.

my head pounds, the room spinning and light nausea flooding over me from my hangover.

i’m never drinking again.

the time on my phone reads noon, and i’m not shocked by how long i slept. considering i can barely remember anything that happened after my seventh shot last night, i’m surprised i’m not still dead to the world.

i notice some notifications, but refuse to scroll through them, not ready to face the ‘how dead are we all feeling?’ texts from my friends yet. so rather than staying on my phone, i leave it on my bed as i get up and run through my routine.

i brush my teeth before hopping in for a quick shower, hoping that it’ll help rid me of my hangover, before i get dressed and go to the kitchen to retrieve a gatorade and make myself breakfast.

i stand in front of my living room window as i drink my gatorade, peering through the glass at the gray sky. it seems that the weather is matching my gloomy mood, as it begins to pour rain from the dark clouds.

sighing, i return to my couch, turning on the tv and flipping through the channels until i get distracted by the NHL Network, which replays last nights Devils game, and i can’t convince myself to change it.

the camera pans to Dawson’s face and he looks entirely disappointed by the low score of his team.

if only i could cheer him up.

how i would love to be able to hug him again.

how i would love to see him at my front door again, like i would’ve a few years ago after a QMJHL game. when he would show up after a lost game that i couldn’t attend, and my mother would just shake her head at his appearance but ultimately smile at the way he wrapped his arms around me.

but that was then, and this is now. in an alternate reality, maybe i’m in Jersey with him right now, his head on my chest as i talk him through the loss, but in this reality, we’re broken up, and that doesn’t seem to be changing any time soon. eventually, i’ll have to accept that our lives weren’t meant to intertwine forever. time wasn’t in our favor, and fate wasn’t in our cards.

it’s four in the afternoon when a knock sounds at my door, loud and obnoxious as i try to focus on the movie that now plays on my television. grumbling to myself as i stand up, i assume it’ll be Taylor or Kenzie stopping by to check in on me after i’ve avoided their texts.

but when i open the door, time seems to freeze, and i decide my eyes must be deceiving themselves. i slam the door shut again, blinking a few times before i open it once more, but my eyes are working fine.

standing in the rain, outside of my apartment door, is Dawson.

“i— what—” i stutter, unsure of what to do or say. my heart races in my chest and i can’t decide whether i’m more nervous or excited to see him. “what are you doing here? why aren’t you in Jersey?”

“you asked me to come back.” his voice is like melted butter, just as smooth as i remembered it. his eyes accentuated by dark circles from apparent lack of sleep, but they’re still that soft brown that i’ve always loved so much, his gaze soft as he stares back at me.

“what?” confusion drips from the single word, but then the memory comes flooding back to me. getting home last night, checking the game score, calling him. “you came back… because i asked you to?”

he steps forward, and with the light from inside reflecting against his eyes and lighting up his face amongst the gray clouded skies, my heart drops. i’ve missed him so much, and now that he’s back here in front of me, i’m questioning it?

“i would do anything if you asked me to.” he speaks hesitantly. “i’m sorry, y/n.

“i’m sorry i accused you of not wanting to move with me— of not loving me enough. i let my insecurities and my fears that you would get tired of barely seeing me and leave me, get the best of me. i’m sorry i left that night without fighting to stay. fighting for us. i’m sorry that i didn’t talk to you, i thought it was what you wanted, but i see how stupid i was for that now. i’m sorry that i made you wait so long for me to come back, but i’m here now. to apologize and to get you back, because i still love you so much and i don’t know if i can take another day of not having you anymore.”

tears roll slowly down my cheeks at his words and i open the door farther, ushering him inside before i speak. my hands come up to hold his face, my eyes gazing into his.

“i’ve been waiting for you every day since you’ve been gone.” i whisper, my voice shaky. “i thought you were gone forever, and i was still waiting. because deep down i’ve always known that you are it for me, Dawson Mercer. if i didn’t have you, i didn’t want anyone else.

“i didn’t think you wanted me anymore. and some part of me accepted that, but a larger part of me just kept hoping and praying that you would come back. Daws, i would much rather spend nine months only having some of you, than forever having none of you.”

his head dips down, lips meeting mine, not even minding the salty tears that have run over my lips. kissing him again is like breathing for the first time in six months. like a natural instinct that i finally gained access to again, and when he pulls away, i pull him back down, not ready to give it up again.

finally, i pull back just enough to breath in deep, replacing the lack of oxygen in my lungs.

“i love you.” he whispers, his lips still brushing against mine, and a smile breaks out upon my face, pecking a kiss on his own small smile.

“i love you too.” i tell him, retreating to look in his eyes. “i do have a question, though.”

“anything.” he nods, prepared to answer anything i throw at him.

“are you stupid?!” i lightly smack his arm and his brows furrow in confusion. “shouldn’t you be in Jersey, practicing so you can beat the Rangers on thursday?”

he laughs, pulling my body in closer against his.

“i should.” he nods. “but i took a maintenance day, so i could win back my biggest fan. i do have to be back for practice tomorrow, but, i was hoping maybe you’d come with me.”

my heartbeat picks up at his confession and the nervous expression painted across his face after he says it, but i nod and his face lights up.

“really?” he questions, and i’m overwhelmed with excitement, nodding again.

“yeah, Daws, i’ll go anywhere with you.”

“in that case, our flight leaves in a few hours…” he grimaces and my eyes widen as i step back.

“i gotta pack. i gotta go online and put in to use my paid time off.” i freeze, dread filling my senses. “i have to tell Taylor and Kenzie i won’t make girls night for a month.”

Dawson’s head drops back in laughter before he looks back at me again, sporting a smirk. “a bit longer than that, i think you’re forgetting, we’re going to the playoffs.”

“oh my god, two months.” i stare back at him in joking horror. “oh they’re gonna hate you.”

“me? you’re the one skipping out on girls night!” he calls out, following me into my bedroom as i begin throwing clothes into a suitcase.

“yeah, but they could never hate me. you? they’ve already disliked for six months.” he shrugs, nodding at my words.

“fair enough.” he replies, helping me grab shirts off of hangers and pack them away into my suitcase. “you think they’ll ever like me again?”

i hum in thought, “i don’t know, maybe once they hear about how you flew back for only a mere few hours to apologize to me in the rain.”

“and i’d do it again.” he grins, pulling my body to his, my back against his chest. he buries his face in my neck, nipping at my skin and making me laugh.

maybe our love is like the movies, we just had to suffer through the ‘third act breakup’ in order to get to our happy ending.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Five Fics Friday: Year Four Masterpost

Hurrah!! I've made it FOUR YEARS OF UNINTERRUPTED FIC RECS every SINGLE Friday!! It's something I'm super proud of for this blog, and I couldn't do it without you guys!!

For anyone who is new to my blog, every SINGLE Friday I post up 5 fics recently added to either my Marked for Later list or my Bookmarks, or as a way to promote new fics suggested to me by authors as a Signal Boosted fic! I haven't missed a single Friday since its inception in 2019, and it's still going strong!! It's the ONLY guaranteed weekly list on this blog, since YOU GUYS provide me the content!! :D I love doing it, and it makes authors feel loved :)

So, as we begin YEAR FIVE for 5FF on September 29, 2023, let's look back on ALL the fics that got us here! Everyone please go give every fic on these lists some love, and I hope that you will stick with me for another year of Fic Recs!

There are over ONE THOUSAND (1,000) fics on the lists below, and that DOESN'T count the bonus extended lists I do once in awhile!!!

So do enjoy! Should keep y'all busy for the long haul!

PREVIOUS YEARS (2019 to 2022):

YEAR ONE MASTERPOST (Sept 29/19 to Sept 25/20)

YEAR TWO MASTERPOST (Sept 25/20 to Sept 24/21)

YEAR THREE MASTERPOST (Oct 1/21 to Sept 23/22)

YEAR 4 OF FIVE FICS FRIDAY:

September 30/22

October 7/22

October 14/22

October 21/22

October 28/22

November 4/22

November 11/22

November 18/22

November 25/22

December 2/22

December 9/22

December 16/22

December 23/22

December 30/22

January 6/23

January 13/23

January 20/23

January 27/23

February 3/23

February 10/23

February 17/23

February 24/23

March 3/23

March 10/23

March 17/23

March 24/23

March 31/23

April 7/23

April 14/23

April 21/23

April 28/23

May 5/23

May 12/23

May 19/23

May 26/23

June 2/23

June 9/23

June 16/23

June 23/23

June 30/23

July 7/23

July 14/23

July 21/23

July 28/23

August 4/23

August 11/23

August 18/23

August 25/23

September 1/23

September 8/23

September 15/23

September 22/23

[chronolojay]

gwen stacy, arachnophobia. a web weave based on the incredible fic by @rappaccini

this fic changed the way I think about gwen as a character and got lodged in my brain since I first read it. its a fic that makes you want to make art about it and it is absolutely worth your time.

Sources under the cut

PART 1: The Fall

IMAGES:

The Amazing Spider Man 2. Directed by Marc Webb, performance by Emma Stone, 2014. Gerry Conway, writer. The Night that Gwen Stacy Died. Pencils by Gil Kane. Inks by John Romita. Colors by Dave Hunt. Letters by Artie Simek. The Amazing Spider-Man #121, 1973. @gui_la_ume, TikTok, 2023, LEGO Spiderman Animation, https://www.tiktok.com/@gui_la_ume/video/7245780799251860763. Lavergne, Max. "Coming Up With a Complete List of Ways to Die", Infinite Gossip, Sep 28, 2023, https://infinitegossip.substack.com/p/coming-up-with-a-complete-list-of. Pal, Marijan. "Ajshil, Oresteja, SNG Drama in Ljubljana",  Wikimedia Commons,1968,  https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Ajshil,_Oresteia,_Drama_SNG_v_Ljubljani_(4).jpg. Spider-Man 3. Directed by Sam Raimi, 2007.

TEXT:

the garages. "solar eclipse". https://open.spotify.com/track/23y7JvIq11f1NHnwxWC27P?si=7b4482b1601e40de Madison, Piper. "Phonograph" . https://open.spotify.com/track/13ypXt9ag0Rq8uLBe2tZqn?si=d0aab028801e419d “Memento mori.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/memento%20mori. Accessed 1 May. 2024. Oates, Joyce Carol. Blonde: A Novel. 2000, ci.nii.ac.jp/ncid/BA68593021. The Oresteia, Aeschylus rappaccini. arachnophobia. https://archiveofourown.org/works/48363238/chapters/121980043  Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse. Directed by Joaquim Dos Santos, Kemp Powers, and Justin K. Thompson, 2023.

PART 2: Rage, OR: Tear It All Down

IMAGES:

Area 51 circuit board, "I'M NOT DEAD YET" via https://arcadeheroes.com/2014/04/20/arcade-games-easter-eggs/ are you in hell via https://www.tumblr.com/screenshotsofdespair/705113397985968128 A Softer World. www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=891. bloody knuckles. https://i.pinimg.com/originals/68/68/62/686862f692cfb5e02b76013701ff3347.jpg burn it all lighter via https://png-heaven.tumblr.com/post/675085348575084544/love-still, https://www.etsy.com/listing/717241294/personalized-lighter-zippo-engraved caitlynsarah95, "Hands". Deviantart, May 3, 2019, https://www.deviantart.com/caitlynsarah95/art/Hands-796203302. Daley-Ward, Yrsa, "all the wrong colours" "DIY Three Ingredient Venom Slime", elledoingstuff, https://web.archive.org/web/20201126155036/https://shedoesstuff.com/2018/10/22/diy-three-ingredient-venom-slime/  Gerhard Richter Untitled (5 Jan 1990), 1990 Marchese, David. “Kathleen Turner, in Conversation.” Vulture, 7 Aug. 2018, www.vulture.com/2018/08/kathleen-turner-in-conversation.html. MarianneCreates, "live with this", via https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/98874045 McGuire, Seanan, and Rosi Kampe. Spider-Gwen: Ghost-Spider Vol. 1. Marvel, 2019. Melissa P. Directed by Luca Guadagnino, 2005. Paskow, Linnea "Splitter", 2020.  https://linneapaskow.com/paintings-/18 Roland Arhelger, CC BY-SA 4.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0>, via Wikimedia Commons, https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Verrazzano-Narrows_Bridge_(New_York).jpg Sin, Nata. "Menotaxis", November 8, 2022. https://instagram.com/nata__sin__?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== "Spider PNG image image with transparent background", via https://pngimg.com/image/4537. "Spider Transparent #1558430", via  http://clipart-library.com/clip-art/spider-transparent-2.htm. "Spider PNG Image" via https://www.pngall.com/spider-png/download/1726 Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse. Directed by Joaquim Dos Santos, Kemp Powers, and Justin K. Thompson, 2023. "Transparent Spider Gif #1587577", via http://clipart-library.com/clip-art/transparent-spider-gif-23.htm. "Transitions Purple T-Shirt + Download", august, via https://store.augustalsina.com/products/transitions-purple-t-shirt-pre-order-download

TEXT:

Boyer, Anne. "WHAT RESEMBLES THE GRAVE BUT ISN’T". 2017.  Moyers, 17 April 2017, https://billmoyers.com/story/poetry-month-what-resembles-the-grave-but-isnt/ Carson, Anne. H Of H Playbook. New Directions Publishing Corporation, 2021. Euripides. Grief Lessons: Four Plays by Euripides. New York Review of Books, 2008. Lord Huron. "Not Dead Yet", https://open.spotify.com/track/5NRbNXwXHM9mYgxMhzVWTP?si=d55caaf2461a4675 rappaccini. arachnophobia. https://archiveofourown.org/works/48363238/chapters/121980043 

PART 3: Live

IMAGES:

277: Venetian Memento Mori Earrings, Ragoarts.com. www.ragoarts.com/auctions/2021/07/summer-jewels/277 beigeandrose. “The 1990s Goth Faux Leather Lace up Chunky Heels Platform Boots Size US 8.” Etsy, www.etsy.com/listing/117460104/the-1990s-goth-faux-leather-lace-up. “Clasped Hands of Robert and Elizabeth Barrett Browning.” The Metropolitan Museum of Art, www.metmuseum.org/art/collection/search/11156. Coello, Iban. Carnage-ized Variant Cover, Spider-Gwen: Ghost-Spider Vol. 2 - Impossible Year. Marvel Entertainment, 2019. Forcibly Feminized at the Pharm, The High Femmes, 2022 Hodan, George. "Spider Web." PublicDomainPictures.net, https://www.publicdomainpictures.net/en/view-image.php?image=21073&picture=spider-web Home, pinkshift, 2023 "Nice While It Lasted." Bojack Horseman, created by Raphael Bob-Waksberg, season 6 episode 16, Netflix, 2020. Rainbow, Kesha, 2017 Shinkai, Makoto, and Midori Motohashi. The Garden of Words. Kodansha Comics, 2016. Skin-N-Bones. “An top down image of red soup, on a blue background, with noodles spelling out ‘Everybody Dies.’” Tumblr, 12 June 2013, skin-n-bones.tumblr.com/post/52800040011. Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse. Directed by Joaquim Dos Santos, Kemp Powers, and Justin K. Thompson, 2023. "Spiderman Graffiti, Pittsburgh", by chronolojay “THAT’S BELIEVABLE!” Tumblr, 3 Mar. 2024, www.tumblr.com/thatsbelievable/743968419651665920?source=share.

TEXT:

Latour, Jason. SPIDER-GWEN VOL. 6: THE LIFE OF GWEN STACY. Illustrated by Mike Ploog, Cover Art by Robbi Rodriguez, vol. 6, ‎ Marvel Universe, 2018. Limón, Ada. “Dead Stars.” Poets.org, 1976, poets.org/poem/dead-stars. rappaccini. arachnophobia. https://archiveofourown.org/works/48363238/chapters/121980043  Zusak, Markus. The Book Thief. Knopf Books for Young Readers, 2007.

[sambuckyhalloweenbingo]

The SamBucky Halloween Bingo 2024

Hey! It's almost the spooky season, and as such, it's time for the SamBucky Halloween Bingo! From October 1st to November 7th, we will be reblogging and sharing the work you guys create here on our blog.

You can post fanfiction, art, fic rec lists, comments, moodboards, podfics, edits, etc. It’ll be a low-stakes event. No need to sign up. Just remember to tag @sambuckyhalloweenbingo in your post for each fill, and we will be tracking #sbhalloween2024 for reblogs.

If you are posting on AO3, please add it to the SamBucky Halloween Bingo 2024 Collection.

The Bingo Card:

FAQ

What is this?

It’s a SamBucky bingo event.

Is there any pressure?

No pressure at all. Fill one prompt. Fill all the prompts on every bingo card. Do however many you please.

Can I fill more than one prompt with one piece of art/one fic?

Yes! You can fill one prompt with one piece of art or fic. You can try to fill all nine prompts on the card at once with one piece of art or fic. If you can fill every single prompt from every single bingo card in one fill, that’d be wild but it’s okay by the rules. You can do any number in between.

Are there any prizes for making anything for this event?

Just the satisfaction that you made something cool.

Is it just SamBucky?

Yes please, just SamBucky. There can be side ships, but the main ship should be SamBucky.

How long will this event run?

It will run from October 1st and run until November 7th.

I heard there are badges I can use for each fill?

There are! Here they are:

RULES AND GUIDELINES

What are the guidelines for the bingo?

I will be borrowing some of this from the MYSU Valentine’s Day Bingo 2022 Guidelines, since they were fantastic.

For Everyone:

1. Remember to tag @sambuckyhalloweenbingo in the post as well as #sbhalloween2024.

2. Please also tag the prompt you’re filling (for instance, if the square is “Costume”, use “#costume” as one of your tags when posting about it on Tumblr).

3. If you’re uploading to AO3, please:

a ) Say somewhere which prompt you’re filling.

b ) Add it to the SamBucky Halloween Bingo 2024 Collection (SamBucky_Halloween_Bingo_2024).

For Artists:

1. Create at least one piece of new art that can’t have been posted anywhere else before this.

2. All visual art forms are welcome:

a ) Gifsets or photosets, at least 3 gifs or photos.

b ) Aesthetic boards or moodboards, at least 4 images each.

c ) Drawing/painting, that is not a sketch.

d) Fan video.

e) Graphics edit.

For Authors:

1. At least 500 words.

2. Posted on Tumblr or AO3.

3. Can be part of a series, but should work as a standalone.

For Podficcers:

1. The podfic should at least be 5 minutes long.

2. It should be posted on either Tumblr or AO3.

3. The podfic can be of a fic made for the event, a fic not made for the event while still adhering to the prompt, or a notfic.

For Fic Rec Lists:

1. You must have at least three fics or podfics on the rec list.

2. Make sure to give brief descriptions of the fics or podfics as well as their rating and wordcount.

For Commenters:

1. Any amount of comment counts, from a heart emoji (“❤️”) to an essay.

2. We would rather this be about what makes you happy and joyful about reading than any scathing critiques.

Things to be mindful of when creating:

For Sam

Avoid framing Sam only as a caretaker or emotional support for Bucky. Be mindful of Sam acting angry or aggressive in an out-of-character way and falling into the angry/sassy Black man trope (check out the MCU source material to help with character traits).

Avoid decentering Sam as a main character and refrain from focusing entirely on Bucky.

In art: avoid whitewashing Sam’s skin and research drawing Black characters.

General disclaimer: Race affects every aspect of his life, including interacting with police/government and the white structures of the world when it comes to performing his duties as Cap and simply being a Black man that lives in the U.S.

For Bucky

Avoid phrasing “flesh/normal/human hand” to refer to the contrast between his prosthetic arm and his right arm. The phrasing is ableist. You can simply refer to his prosthesis when relevant, otherwise use “right/left arm/hand”.

For more information, please check out this document suggested by @ninesdb on how to write Bucky as an amputee. @ninesdb is also open to questions if you have any queries not answered by the google doc.

Specific Tags:

Avoid tags in AO3 like “Sam Wilson is a Gift”, “Sam Wilson is a Saint”, and “Bucky Needs a Hug”.

Have fun and we look forward to your Halloween Bingo fics!

[cuubism]

It's my favorite/least favorite writing month now, so here's an overly-ambitious list of things I would love to complete during nano :) last year I reached a true feral state of dissociated insanity by the end of November and I do hope to achieve that again!

Happenstance, final chapter. this was on my list and I just finished/posted it :) [COMPLETED]

the follow-up fic to Trade Secrets, the Knight Hob/Prince Dream PWP. more unmitigated smut in this one.

New installment of In Search of Nightingales [bookstore cryptid Dream] -- this one is about Dream moving in with Hob. [COMPLETED]

A Death/Johanna fic that was supposed to be for the femslash event but evidently... was not 😂

The sheltered rich boy Dream & feral child Hob (though it's really not much about that anymore) fic that I've occasionally posted snippets of. This one has gotten... long.

"Ooh, Kinky", a fic about how Dream really likes when Hob does sweet things for him. [COMPLETED]

a very long, post-2022 slowburn getting together fic that I literally started last fall, and has 17k words but isn't finished -- I would really like to finally finally finish that.

At LEAST one of the non-dreamling ideas people sent me way back. I have so many and I ended up writing like... none of them. Oops.

chapter 3 of the melting press of the sun, a fic that wasn't supposed to be longer than one chapter. Hob helps Dream with his post-fishbowl dissociative episodes through the power of Friendship and Really Shitty Reality Television

the Shibari fic that I teased a month ago, wrote half of in one day, and then barely touched since 😂

chapter 3 of the better to see you with, my dear [the Spy Hob AU] which I've left on the back burner for a while now.

A mostly-completed segment of Silly Rabbit AU about various tales and connections Dream is spinning.

In Waking Dreams chapter 7, which is already partially complete.

There's also one or two projects that live at kind of the intersection of fanfic and original fic that have been bouncing around my head so those may come up as well ☺️

And new as of November 1 (goddammit):

A very silly crack fic about Johanna accidentally kidnapping Dream and Hob's weird magical baby (goes about how you'd expect) [COMPLETED]

idea I got stuck in my head last night about Dream making sex Hob's reward for rescuing him as an intricate ritual to let Dream have some intimacy without having to admit that he wants it.

BONUS: prequel to dreamling's magical baby fic [COMPLETE]

BONUS: a little drabble about winter [COMPLETE]

And I've learned better than to promise progress on any outstanding Malec projects.

If any of you are also doing Nano 🫡 Godspeed.

[bakanokiwami]

undefined

TOP 10 ANIMANGA ON FANFICTION.NET BASED ON NUMBER OF FANWORKS (1999-2022)

To make this bar chart race, all series titles in the Anime/Manga Section on November 29 (or the closest date to it) of every year were copy-pasted from Wayback Machine to Google Sheets, rearranged according to number of fanworks, and then inputted to Flourish to turn into a bar chart race.

In 1999-2001, FFN used Anime as a catch-all tag for all anime that didn’t have their own category yet before it was removed in 2002 onwards.

In 1999, fanfiction weren’t divided into sections like Anime/Manga, TV, Books, etc. yet. It was just a small list of mixed fandoms.

Originally, the fanfiction list was sorted alphabetically too, but was changed to number of fics at around early 2013.

By November 2013, FFN started abbreviating numbers above 1,000 to K, so exact numbers aren't available for series with more than 1,000 fanfiction.

Thanks for understanding and hopefully I didn’t mess up anywhere! 🙏

Edit: This bar chart is all made with the assumption that the numbers listed in section are correct. I can't seem to get the same numbers for some for these series when I go to the specific series' page and filter everything to All though... I don't know if I'm missing something or not...

For example, currently, the anime/manga section says Naruto has 439k fics, but going to the Naruto page and filters, ratings and language to All, it says there's only 413k fics. There's also 37.3k crossover fics, but adding would be equal to 450k fics... If anyone can clue me in on how FFN calculates these numbers, I'd be very grateful.🙏

[arofili]

Tolkien Fandom Event Calendar

Recently I’ve received some asks about events/weeks in the Tolkien fandom, so I thought I’d compile a list of those that I know about. This is not exhaustive, and dates are subject to change by the organizers of these events!

Other blogs you can check out are @tolkieneventsblog and @tolkienfandomevents, though I’m not sure how active those are. The @silmarillionwritersguild Discord also has a channel dedicated to signal boosts for all sorts of Tolkien-related & general fandom happenings, which is another excellent way to keep up with fandom goings-on.

Want to run your own event? Here’s some of my tips!

If your event is not on here and you’d like it to be, let me know and I can add it :) Note: I will only add events that have announced dates!

~

JANUARY Screw Yule My Slashy Valentine @myslashyvalentine — work time Lord of the Rings Secret Santa @lotr-sesa — reveals Thorin’s Spring Forge @thorinsspringforge — signups Second Age Week @secondageweek

FEBRUARY Hidden Paths My Slashy Valentine — reveals Thorin’s Spring Forge — claims Maedhros and Maglor Week @maedhrosmaglorweek

MARCH Back to Middle-earth Month @spring-into-arda Thorin’s Spring Forge — work time Fëanorian Week Fun with Fanon Fest Round 1 @funwithfanon

APRIL Tolkien Reverse Summer Bang @tolkienrsb — signups Silm Remix @tolkienremix — signups & assignments Thorin’s Spring Forge — reveals  Aralas Week @aralas-week Barduil Month @bi-widower-dads All of Arda is Autistic @all-of-arda-is-autistic F3: Focus on Friendship & Family, Phase I @spring-into-arda

MAY Tolkien Reverse Summer Bang — claims Silm Remix — reveals Aspec Arda Week @aspecardaweek Angbang Week @angbangweek Gondolin Week @gondolinweek F3: Focus on Friendship & Family, Phase II

JUNE Tolkien Reverse Summer Bang — work time Scribbles and Drabbles @fall-for-tolkien — signups Tolkien Ekphrasis Week @tolkienekphrasisweek F3: Focus on Friendship & Family, Phase III

JULY Tolkien Reverse Summer Bang — work time Scribbles and Drabbles — claims Tolkien Gen Week @tolkiengenweek LotR Ladies Week @lotrladiessource Tolkien Appreciation Week @tolkienweek Tolkien Latin American & Caribbean Week @tolkienlatamandcaribbeanweek

AUGUST Tolkien Reverse Summer Bang — deadlines Scribbles and Drabbles — art reveals Innumerable Stars Exchange @innumerable-stars — nominations & signups Tolkien of Colour Week @tolkienofcolourweek Silvergifting Week @silvergiftingweek Tolkien OC Week @tolkienocweek

SEPTEMBER Tolkien Reverse Summer Bang — reveals Scribbles and Drabbles — work time Innumerable Stars Exchange — signups & assignments Sindar Week @sindarweek Dor Cúarthol Week @dorcuartholweek Finwëan Ladies Week @finweanladiesweek

OCTOBER Innumerable Stars Exchange — reveals Scribbles and Drabbles — work time Half-elven Week @halfelvenweek

NOVEMBER Tolkien Secret Santa @officialtolkiensecretsanta — signups & assignments Scribbles and Drabbles — fic reveals Nolofinwean Week @nolofinweanweek

DECEMBER Tolkien Secret Santa — advent calendar & reveals My Slashy Valentine @myslashyvalentine — signups & assignments Lord of the Rings Secret Santa — claims Khazad Week @khazadweek

MONTHLY EVENTS: These events have prompts/challenges occurring every month. Teitho Contest Tolkien Short Fanworks Silmarillion Writers’ Guild @silmarillionwritersguild

(this list was last updated 5/4/23)

LEGACY EVENTS: These events used to occur, but have not happened within the last year. Arda Needs More Pride @ardaneedsmorepride (bimonthly; last run 2020) Kiliel Week @kilielweek (timing variable; last run 2021) @oneringnet monthly events (last run 2021) Atani Week @ataniweek (January; last run 2021) Legendarium Ladies April @legendariumladiesapril (April; last run 2020) Gates of Summer Exchange @gatesofsummerexchange (May-June, last run 2022) Tolkien South Asian Week, run by @arwenindomiel (June; last run 2022) Arafinwëan Week @arafinweanweek (July; last run 2019) Fëanturi Week (August; last run 2019; no official blog and the creator has deactivated) Imladrim Week @imladrimweek (November; last run 2019) Doriath Week @doriathweek (November; last run 2020) Tolkien Family Week @tolkienfamilyweek (November; last run 2021)

[inukag-archive]

In celebration of the ninth annual @inukag-week the Fic Finders have searched through our prior listings to highlight selections for each day's prompt.

As always please feel free to add your favorites into the reblogs and comments!

Happy reading - new and old!

Break-Up to Make-Up (August 2022)

Break-Up to Make-Up Part 2 (posted September 2022)

It Was All A Misunderstanding (posted November 2022)

Mod Favorites (posted August 2022)

Much Love,

Pixie, Rudd, Anisa, Lost & MamaBear

[choicesmonthlychallenge]

There are so many great resources for Choices content creators, but it can be hard to keep track of all the different things. So here is my attempt to compile a list. Please message me here or @lovealexhunt​ if you know of something else. I’ll keep this updated as new things open too.

⟢Monthly Challenges⟢

September — @choicescommunityevents [Prompts]

Upcoming:

October — @choicesmonthlychallenge [Prompts]

November — Tentatively Taken

December — Open

Prompts for the monthly challenges usually post around the 20th of the month prior. If a host drops out, I note it here. Please be patient as we all have lives outside of Choices. 

⟢Celebration + Themed Events⟢

September: Smutember: @choicesprompts [Prompts]

September 25-29: Hayden Young Appreciation Week: @haydenyoungappreciationweek [Prompts]

October: Horror Fest: @choiceshorrorfest [Prompts]

October 9-15: Aiden Zhou Appreciation Week: @aidenzhouappreciationweek [Prompts]

October 25: Nadia Park Appreciation Day: @nadiaparkappreciationweek

November 15-19: King Liam Appreciation Week: @kingliamappreciationweek

Know of any celebration weeks? Send me a message!

⟢Other Events & Things⟢

Non-Canon Secret Pal Exchange @choicescommunityevents

Fall Choices Book Reading Challenge @choicescommunityevents

@choicesficwriterscreations: Fic/Art of the week, WIP, Throwback, and other special events

@choicesprompts

@choicesholidays

Fandom Birthdays​ 🥳  [list here]

​Choices Book Club : @choicesbookclub​ [Event Info]

⟢Not Currently Active⟢

@moodmusicmonday​ (Monday music prompts)

@choicesflashfics (weekly dialogue prompts)

⟢ Past Monthly Challenges ⟢

2024 Monthly Challenges

2023 Monthly Challenges

2022 Monthly Challenges

2021 Monthly Challenges

2020 Monthly Challenges

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hello hello fandom friend! I love love love your blog. Thank you for all that you do for the this part of the internet. I have a slightly subjective question: I know that there are SO many creative, wonderful, smartly written pieces. But in your opinion, what are the top 10 (or less, OR more :-)) most gorgeously written stories? Anything where the writing made you think JESUS CHRIST and absolutely blew you away. I know this will be a personal call. Feel free to use your own measures. (Most re-read, most haunted by, ones with lines you still remember 10 years on?) Thank you so much in advance!

Hey Nonny!

Oh gosh this is such a broad question because everyone has different tastes, and stuff I may think are works of art may not appeal to other people. I think the safest way for me to answer this question is to direct you to all of my Fave Fics lists... I hope that's okay! <3

Top 20 Fave 40K+ w. Fics (April 2017)

Ten Fave Short Johnlock Fics (Easy Reads April 2018)

25 Fave Johnlock One Shots (April 2018)

Top 10 Fave Fics (September 2018)

Top 20 Bookmarks of 2018 (March 2019)

Another Top 10 Fave Fics (June 2019)

Top 30 Read-Again Fics (March 2019)

Top 30 Read-Again Fics Pt. 2 (Sept. 2019)

Fave Read-Again Fics (10) (Dec 11/20)

Top 25 Fave Non-Ao3 Fics (Nov. 2019)

Top 25 Fave Non-Ao3 Fics Pt 2 (Apr 2022)

Top 25 Fave Non-AO3 Fics Pt 3 (May 2023)

Top 25 Bookmarks of 2019 (Dec. 29/2019)

Top 30 Bookmarks of 2020

Top 25 Bookmarks of 2021

Top 20 Bookmarks of 2022

Top 35 Bookmarks of 2023

Top 20 Comfort Fics (Feb 2022)

Top 30 Fave Angst Fics Under 10K

25 Fics for Fic Rec Bingo

10 Current Fave Multi-Fandom Fics (June 2023)

I-J’s Last 50 Bookmarked Fics (June 2017)

Last 17 Bookmarked Fics (July 2017) 

Last 30 Bookmarked Fics (November 2017)

Last 86 Bookmarked Fics (Jan 2019) || [MOBILE]

Top Five Fandom Fics on Ao3, Plus 1M Hit Fic (Dec. 2018)

Fandom Favourites / Popular Fics

My List of “New Classics” (July 2021)

=====

Sorry I'm kind of useless at this reply mainly because I think SO many fics deserve all kinds of love, but I hope you take joy from these lists. 💜🖤

[jilychallenge]

Hi everyone,

As we are nearing the last month of the year we would like to inform you about the December Jilychallenge.

We loved seeing all your Jily messages, art, moodboards and holiday inspired fics, as well as the heartwarming full tree at the end of the month!!

We are excited to do something like last year again and we hope you are as well. (for a little taste and to see the tree fill up, check the tag #djac 2022) Our starting date this year depends on how many of you will want to participate, we plan to finish on the 31st!

Instructions :

To sign up, please fill out this google form before the first of December. In the form you'll find the deadlines for your works to be finished. We'll be in touch as soon through here or Discord, never hesitate to let us know if you need more time or if there's a special date you'd like your work to be released on. Everyone can pick from the prompt list, you can have as many as you like, combine them, ignore them, follow them to the letter. We welcome any festive jily fics so if you've got a holiday end of year tale you want to tell, don't hesitate if your exact idea has no prompt to fit it ;-)

This is not about rules but about having fun!

That being said if you’re writing a fic, the minimum words must be 100, and should only be a one shot. (or finished multi-chapter (for multichaps please contact us so we can figure out the best way to post them!)

If it’s an artwork/playlist/moodboard then… anything goes!

Week 1 (due before the 25th of November) Week 2 (due before the 3rd of December) Week 3 (due before the 10th of December) Week 4 (due before the 17th of December)

You can submit your work earlier, but since it will take us a bit of time to organise the calendar we ask you try not to submit later, don't hesitate to contact us should you need more time or if you think you want to do more than one creation in a certain week.

Please note that the sign up weeks could be very different from when your fic or artwork will be revealed.

The fics can be posted to the December Jily Calendar 2023 collection on AO3. For any help with posting don't hesitate to contact us. Once you've posted to the collection it might take a little while for your work to be accepted (we don't live on AO3... 😘 you can always let us know you posted. NB we can't reveal a draft, so please be sure your work is posted before the date of reveal) If you don't have an ao3 account please tell us so we can post your work as a part of the Calendar here on Tumblr. (send us a DM or ask) .

This got long... DLDR come join the fun in December!!

[belmottetower]

3.10 International Meta

Ted Lasso’s International Break details - actually extremely accurate! I am pleasantly surprised! If you read my review of episode 9, you’d have seen at the end the part where we freaked out about the potential for bad exposition regarding this stuff. But they actually fucking nailed it! And they left so much space for amazing fic and headcanons!

I’m going to overhaul the International Break page on the primer to include all the new information and erase stuff that is now erroneous and I will post again when done, but in the meantime, here are some notes about details in this episode that hopefully will be exciting to think about, in terms of gap-filling fic or otherwise. Trust me, applying some of the below information to the show really heightens an already VERY AMAZING episode. Uncle’s Day! Gareth Southgate! 24!

Ted Lasso season 3 is set in the 2021/2022 football season. We have a thorough timeline of season 3 coming for the primer, but in 3.10, Richmond has played 31 league matches so far (16 wins, 6 losses, 9 draws according to the board) and the time being featured in this episode is the annual March international break. 

In real life, this break happened from 21-29 March 2022. There also would have been international breaks in August, October and November 2021. These were not featured on the show but would have occurred in between episodes, regardless of whether any players were called up during them or not. The August break would have happened during the Zava montage of wins in episode 3, the October break would have happened directly after episode 3 and before episode 4, and the November break would have happened in the bad run of matches that happened off screen between episode 4 and episode 5.

The March break is usually dedicated to continental friendlies rather than tournament qualifiers. Each international team would have played TWO games that week within their confederation, so Canada played Mexico once and some other CONCACAF nation once. England and Wales would have each played two UEFA opponents, and so on. 

The international matches are generally spaced out over something like Thursday and Saturday, or Friday and Sunday - a few days training, play one game, more days training, play the next game, recovery, press, back to the regular league club by the following Tuesday.

The moment Beard reads out the names in the dressing room after the Leicester match would not be the first moment the players are finding out this news. That international announcement does not happen on a match day, and they guys are responding happily but not as excitedly as they would if this was The Big News Announcement, especially for Jamie’s very first time. That moment was a summary of already known information, the call-ups would have come in the week before. 

They’ve just played Leicester on the Saturday and Jamie for instance would have got the news sometime between Monday to Thursday of the prior week. This year, the England squad announcement for the March break was released to the public on Thursday 16th March before the players showed up at St George’s Park to train on the following Monday the 20th. I’m sad we did not actually get to see Jamie’s call-up moment, but the primer has a BUNCH of examples about how he may have gotten the news so feel free to peruse and imagine your favourite situation for Jamie.

Dani is the only person we know for sure has had prior call ups - he’s listed as a Mexico international on the cheat sheet since before he even came to Richmond - but on this break, Jamie is the only person they mention making his debut, his very first call-up (invitation to be in the squad) and potential cap (cap being the term for actually making an appearance - he could have been called up but not capped, as in, didn’t come off the bench.) That Jamie detail kind of implies all the others have done it before, but that doesn’t quite fit with Ted not knowing that Bumbercatch is playing for Switzerland, as they would have gone through like, nine prior international breaks before this one since Ted’s arrival.

Pretty sure Bumbercatch IS English, but he must be eligible for Switzerland under the grandparent rule. Basically, when you select your international eligibility, you can claim it for the country of birth of one of your parents or grandparents. Players will sometimes do this if their main nationality is from a more competitive footballing country. You can switch allegiance between junior and senior levels (Jack Grealish and Declan Rice, both VERY ENGLISH MEN, played for Ireland as juniors because they had a better chance of being selected there. When it became clear they were England-good, they switched allegiances for senior selection. Irish fans are still angry about this.) I’m assuming Bumbercatch has at least one Swiss parent or grandparent so put himself up for FIFA eligibility as Swiss rather than English, as the Switzerland team is easier to get into than the England team.

England trains at St George’s Park near Birmingham, about 130 miles/ 2 and a half hours drive from Richmond. Jamie would have trained at SGP before as a junior England player in the age group teams (see the primer about how this is almost 100% a given) so it would not be a brand new place for him to visit, but it would be very special coming in as an England senior player for the first time on the Monday morning.

The team travels down from SGP to London to play their home matches at Wembley Stadium, the home of English football and the same place the semi-final against Man City took place last season. This is only about 10 miles from Richmond, hence Beard saying “up the way at Wembley.” Sometimes both matches of the break are at home, or sometimes one is abroad and they fly to the other country. FWIW, in real life, the two England games in the March 2022 break were both at Wembley, so no overseas travel.

The jacket Jamie is wearing for Uncle’s Day is an example of the casual England wear the players get given upon their call up (as opposed to their training kit or match kit.) This is what they will wear to travel as a group, or in their free time around camp. Sometimes they get gear sent over the week before so they can already be dressed in the team gear when they arrive (there are social media videos made of their arrivals) or sometimes they pick it all their gear on arrival.

Jamie would have reported for International Duty probably on Monday. Occasionally the report-in is Tuesday. But Uncle’s Day is happening on WEDNESDAY. (Keeley references the day of the week in her scenes set that same day.) The reason I bring this timeline up is because it’s looking likely that Jamie ran away from the England camp to attend this party. He either drove himself down from Birmingham after training on Wednesday afternoon - very not allowed, they are kept pretty firmly on campus - or the team traveled down to London VERY early, because Jamie’s first Wembley match takes place on Friday, not Thursday. The fact that he has sourced an original copy of the 2014 World Cup kit for Roy and was able to get the name cuntified in a legitimate manner suggests to me that he actually got that done at by the kit men at the England base camp, making it even more likely that he’s been at camp and snuck away back to London for the afternoon. 

2014 was Roy’s last World Cup, but his last England cap, ever, was in the 2016 Euros (in a real life game that England lost, a very low point - we suspect this is also when he left Chelsea, at the end of the 15/16 season) and given his legendary status in the game, it’s not unlikely his first international tournament was either the 2000 Euros or the 2002 World Cup. Comparing how the show frames him to other players like him, I would guess he has anywhere between 70 to 120 caps.

3.10 establishes, via Jamie’s gift to Roy, that the World Cup cycle within Ted Lasso is the same years as real life, so there is a World Cup coming up for the players right after season 3 finishes. If Ted Lasso-verse does a different host to real life (the controversial choice of Qatar) the 2022 Ted Lasso World Cup will be in the June and July immediately following the finale. If Qatar is mentioned, the 2022 World Cup won’t take place until November 2022, disrupting the Premier League during the following season (season 4, if we get it.)

The commentary of the England match mentions Southgate - meaning that Gareth Southgate, the real England manager, is also the manager within the show. This is GREAT news for Jamie enjoyers, almost as good news as Real Pep. See primer for details on Southgate and how he would have crossed paths with Jamie before. This is a VERY BIG DEAL and a bit of a dream come true for me. Gareth is about a decade older than Roy, they would know each other from some crossover playing time in the early 2000s. He would have played at England alongside Roy if Roy debuted for England before 2004.

I just had a conversation that made me realise that some people might think that league or club coaches might also join the England team for breaks the way that players do. Not how it works. Managing England is a full time job - Gareth Southgate is not ALSO a club coach. Sometimes the assistant coaches have other jobs - for a while Ted Lasso match commentator Chris Powell was helping to coach England while also helping to coach the Tottenham Hotspur academy team. But Gareth's ONLY job is the England men's first team, including keeping up with the status of potential squad members all year and so on.

It's not impossible that Roy could eventually be brought on to the England assistant coaching staff while also assistant coaching Richmond - in real life one of West Ham’s assistant coaches does this - but Roy doesn't have a lot of experience coaching so it's unlikely, and it's not going to happen if Roy becomes the actual manager of Richmond at the end of the season. Still. It could be a fun idea if Roy doesn’t become the manager.

Jamie wearing 24 is very plausible within how national squad numbering works and it is actually the number we suggested for him in the primer before this episode aired! Our choice was nothing to do with Sam, but was chosen because it was the number given to Callum Wilson, England’s non-starting striker, in the World Cup. Jamie will not be England’s go-to 9 for many years. 

Jamie could have requested 24, but the international shirt numbering is not a free for all. You can’t select 54 or 81 or something. The squad is numbered from 1 to however many (usually 26) with no gaps, and it’s not fixed and permanent like club numbers. Who gets what number is altered every match based on the starting line up, unless you’re in a big tournament where you keep the same shirt number the whole month. For an international friendly like this, the starters for that game will wear 1 through 11, then all the substitutes will be numbered on from there. 

Given that Jamie is brand new to the team, and on the bench (he comes on at the 65th minute when it’s 6-0 to England, replacing the not-Harry-Kane England starting striker who wears the 9, a very normal situation for a game that’s going successfully, rest your stars and give the newbies a chance to stretch their legs) being numerically low in list makes sense. He would have always had a number between say 22 and 26, but within that, he could probably make a request, if it isn’t putting anyone else out, like “Hey, if no one minds, can I have 24?” as opposed to 22, 23, 25 or whatever. They do give people their favorites if they ask for it, so it works PERFECTLY for him to have 24, as it fits his position in the team as well as the Sam tribute.

However, his squad number would have been listed on the team sheet in advance of the match. Sam being surprised in the moment is slightly off - they would have seen his number when they learned he'd been selected for the game's lineup at all.

For those bummed out that Jamie’s friends were not there in person - England would have played another match on the Sunday, there is never just one in a break. Maybe Roy, Keeley, Ted, Isaac, Sam and so on went to Wembley to support him at the Sunday match in person before club training resumed at Richmond on the Monday or Tuesday.