#now all we gotta do is look for the website and the pilot

[wellntruly]

If you read the novel Catch-22 (1961), about U.S. Army pilots & sundry stationed on a Greek island during World War II, you will encounter this off-hand description during the period where Yossarian is hiding in the field hospital:

At which you will either pause worryingly, or you’re normal.

I am not normal, because I have watched the television show M*A*S*H (1972-1983), about U.S. Army medical staff in a mobile surgical unit during the Korean War, and which features a character called Hawkeye Pierce, who frequently looks like this:

Now this bathrobe, iconic simply, appears red to the observer. However, deep into the run there is a line in which Hawkeye refers to it as "purple"—great consternation. But film cameras and light waves being what they are (capricious, devilish), it could very well be maroon in life. It could very well be maroon. It’s what I assumed after that comment. But what I'd never asked was, what is it made out of? Is that corduroy, could it be corduroy, could this be—

Oh noooooooo!

Why is Hawkeye the only one who is wearing the robe of patients from the last war, I ask you! Is it for the METAPHOR. To make me YELL. Did the costume department make it for him, or did they just already have one on hand in the WWII storage? Wait it wasn't real was it? Where is it, where is this robe!

Well babe, it’s in the Smithsonian:

A) of all, fucking fantastic, could not be a place I more want Alan Alda’s bathrobe as Hawkeye Pierce to be than the National Museum of American History. B) well well well well well, what do we have here:

[sic]

So looking THAT up brings you nothing that makes any sense, even trying to correct for spelling. But not to fear: historical re-enactors are here.

On the website of the “WW2 US Medical Research Centre,” an absolutely delightful combination of words and spelling brought to you by two European history buffs, and that’s Europeans who are obsessed with history, specifically American medical units in the 1940s, there’s a page for pajamas, and why look who’s here:

OH ho oh HO!

“Progressive Coat & Apron Mfg. Co.” is so similarly bizarre that I would be very willing to bet that something like idk, the imperfect process of digitizing thousands of records for a website catalog, could have absolutely resulted in “Agressive Coat and Manufacturing Company.” Which would mean yeah, yeah yeah: vintage World War II, slash Korea, just five years later. It was authentic, what they gave Alda to wear, along with his dog tags.

Just Hawkeye though still, which is what's odd.

BUT HANG ON.

Heeeeey now!

So I was recently reminded that in the pilot episode, but the pilot episode only, Wayne Rogers as Trapper John McIntyre also has the regulation corduroy MD/USA bathrobe! In fact, he actually has what would appear to become Hawkeye’s—observe the location of the embroidery. Pocket, like Hawkeye’s in every robe appearance after this first episode, the robe that ends up in the Smithsonian Museum. Whereas the one with the embroidery on the chest that's hanging above Hawkeye's cot here, a common variant that shows up when you’re searching around on military history websites, after this appearance I believe is seen just once more on a visiting colonel later in the first season, then quietly vanishes. Alda ends up in Trapper's, and stays in it for keeps, while Rogers gets, of all things, a cheery goldenrod terry number.

But like, why. Why just Hawkeye in the WWII surplus robe. Both Doyle and Watson have avenues here that I like to think about. For the Doylist side, I suspect it was a decision of like, this is simply too matchy. It’s 1972, our TV screens are small, we gotta take any chance we can get to distinguish these tall white men constantly wearing the same of two monochrome outfits.

In fact, I actually wonder if there was a world where Trapper might have stayed in the maroon and Hawkeye could have ended up in Henry’s robe.

The light blue & white striped bathrobe McLean Stevenson wore as Henry Blake was sold at auction in 2018, and the item description contains the curious detail of it having a handwritten tag inside reading “Hawkeye.” Well heeeyy again.

And here’s another curious detail:

There was a blue & white striped Army-issue robe as well

Now Henry’s is clearly NOT vintage WWII, lacking the pocket embroidery, being terry cloth, and also of course: pastel. But it’s INTERESTING, isn’t it? They had to have been GOING for that look, with that same unusual collar shape and that multi-stripe patterning.

(Also, for real 'what the hell even IS this color' fun, this militaria collectors purveyor has one of the maroon versions too, with photos you can page though and laugh as it flips between looking clearly purple and clearly red in every other photograph. Cameras!!!)

Anyway now we turn to the Watsonian explanation, which seems to run like this: the men at the 4077 were just casually passing their robes around to each other. It's about the intimacy in the face of war, etc. I can see bathrobes going missing when they bug out, getting stolen from the laundry by Klinger and scrapped for parts, being handed off to a poor cold Korean kid who needs it more, and then they need to get to the showers and one of them is like hey, just take mine, and then it’s his now. And eventually most of them end up in warmer-looking civilian robes than the Army holdovers that were being distributed early on, but Hawkeye, he just hung on to Trapper's.

And as a side effect, still looks like he's been injured in World War II.

[inkbagel]

Okay I gotta ask: who’s Clancy?

I’ve been listening to a little bit more twenty one pilots lately just because I found a couple songs I like and I noticed the name pop up in Paladin Straits.

Is this a real person? Is there lore behind the songs? I’m dying to know, tell me their secrets /nf

OKOKOK OMGG OK SO

Clancy is a fictional character, idk if there’s actually a name for the lore other than the tøp lore but he’s from there

The guy on the left is Josh Dun/The Torchbearer, and the guy on the right is Tyler Joseph/Clancy.

Clancys the mc in the story and the Torchbearer is his kind of romantically coded best friend who’s also the leader of the Banditos! A rebel(?) group that lives outside the city of Dema.

If you go to twenty one pilots channel on yt, they have a playlist with every major lore video (but there’s plenty of extra stuff outside of that playlist that you can find on the Wikipedia, plus a livestream they did in-universe which is v pretty I love it dearly I have a link if you ever want it)

The whole story is a mediphor for battling with mental health, and tells it really well!! It’s really impressive.

The basic plot of the story is Clancy is a citizen of Dema, a large depressing city in the gorgeous fictional continent of Trench. The city is controlled by the Nine Bishops who enforce their religion upon its citizens (which is essentially telling everyone to be depressed and kill themselves) so they can “seize them” (bc the bishops can control dead bodies)

The city is nearly impossible to escape thanks to a giant concrete wall, but Clancy has escaped multiple times. Outside the wall he meets up with the Banditos (led by the torchbearer) and just kinda lives with them and is happy and loved and everything good. But Nico (the leader of the nine bishops) keeps dragging him back into Dema.

At some point Clancy becomes well known in the city for being one of like three people to escape, (and also for having a website dedicated to spreading propaganda but that part of the story gets confusing and no one really understands what happens to Clancy there) and the bishops decide to use this to their advantage by giving Clancy pink hair and pronouns and forcing him to be an entertainer.

(Side note during this arc Clancy started to flat out hallucinate the torchbearer bc he was so lonely which I think is really cute he missed his best friend so much)

Eventually Clancy escapes bc Nico is betrayed by another bishop, Keons, and gets washed up onto an island called Voldsoy where he meets the Neds!

(They look like this I couldn’t find a picture from the actual story and am too lazy to go screenshot it myself)

The neds give him the gift of their antlers which allow Clancy to control bodies the same way bishops do!

Another side note, the REAL torchbearer has the Jesus-like power of controlling Clancy’s hallucination to “guide” Clancy to places he needs to go (he guided Clancy to the Neds and also guided him back to the Banditos later)

After Clancy meets back up with the banditos (and more importantly the torchbearer), they all prepare for a final battle with the bishops and go fight them. This is where for the bajillionth time the lore gets confusing.

This happened in the finale which btw, right before releasing the video, Tyler Joseph (lead singer) said “let me ask you, do you think this is the end?” Bc this most recent album was supposed to be the finale to the story but now he’s acting cryptic about it? So a lot of people are torn on if we’re getting more lore or not (I think we definitely are esp after what they’re doing with the world tour)

But basically in the finale all the Banditos fought the Bishop controlled zombies outside the walls of Dema so Clancy could sneak in undetected and take out the bishops, and he takes down most of them but right at the last second Nico grabs Clancy by the neck and starts talking to him and then Clancy opens his eyes to stare Nico down and send a message that he’s not afraid of him anymore and the screen cuts to black.

Once again this is supposed to be the end of the lore. A lot of ppl are assuming Clancy is dead rn but now that the tøp world tour started there’s more lore involving different characters writing letters to each other. This is so far unrelated aside from the fact that they all talk about Clancy inspiring them to take action.

All the albums after Vessel are based on the story. They’re supposed to all be in the pov of Clancy (ofc) and if you look closely at the lyrics you can catch a lot of extra lore.

Blurryface is what Nico calls himself, Trench is the name of the pretty continent they live in, Scaled and icy is an enneagram for “Clancy is dead” (which in their Christmas single they said was propaganda) and also a play on the saying “scaled back and isolated” (bc it’s the album where Clancy is kidnapped and alone) and finally Clancy, the “finale”. It’s a really cool story.

There’s a ton of extra details I left out like the significance of the color yellow but yea that’s the main story and who Clancy is :) my siblings and I have been digging up all the lore the past month and with each new tidbit I get a little more fixated on this weird cat guy hope you like this unprompted infodump

[theeggsthetic]

BIG OL NEWS

hey guys! guys guys guys guess what

New Bike Entertainment has uploaded ALL yes ALL episodes of the eggs!!

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLcpREOfazYZwUoCCtjjL4GS34zZf3DOwe

[otasmile]

IRON WINGS | Carlos Oliveira x OC | Chapter 2: Iron

CW: lots of swearing, mild sexual content, animal brutality

Things are starting to heat up >:)

“Have you found anything yet?”

“Nothing useful. C’mon there’s gotta be something.” Emily plopped her head on the keyboard, immediately rocketing it upwards when her monitor beeped in protest.

“Have you looked at past employee memos? I know HR has to have gotten something over the years.”

“I can’t get access right now,” Emily sighed, connecting with Brad from across the S.T.A.R.S office. Her short black bob hung limply around her chin, evidence of endless sleepless nights searching for something, anything on Brian Irons. The man was as slimy as they came, and yet his record was entirely clean, down to the perfectly posed headshot on the RPD website.

“Hey, that new rookie’s coming in soon right?” Brad prodded in a feeble attempt to bolster the young woman’s hopes, “Maybe we can ask him how Irons treats him and see if there’s anything we aren’t hearing because of the… incident.”

“It’s so… frustrating!” Emily growled. How could Irons treat S.T.A.R.S like this? After all that they went through in that Mansion from Hell. Disbanding the team, firing Jill, forbidding any talk of Umbrella…

“That’s it…” Emily breathed, eyes going wide. Brad sat up in his chair, attention drawn. Emily’s mind was working a hundred miles a minute, running through scenarios that her fingers couldn’t keep up with fast enough on her grimy office issued keyboard, “Umbrella. It’s always talking about Umbrella that triggers Irons.”

“What do you mean?” Brad hummed, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his mahogany desk.

“I mean that Irons always gets the maddest when we talk about the mansion, or Umbrella’s connections to it. He’s scared for some reason. What reason would Irons have to be scared of a major corporation such as Umbrella unless…”

“He was working with them. Like Wesker.”

“No wonder Wesker could run around as he pleased. Hell, Irons probably knew he was a traitor. There’s no way he would have agreed to sending Bravo and Delta team…” Emily’s face broke into an almost manic grin. Suck on that, Irons. She was more than just a pretty pilot, she could investigate as well as the rest of the RPD.

“But how do we prove it? Obviously they’re keeping it under wraps,” Brad sighed, leaning back in his wooden chair. The wood creaked under the pressure of his slumping posture. It matched his energy. A tired pilot, and a tired chair. It was almost funny, Emily thought, that the two S.T.A.R.S pilots were the ones doing the brunt of the police work. Irons would never see it coming.

“If we could audit them… technically we are members of the RPD. We can get a warrant.”

“Not without Irons finding out,” Brad corrected and Emily’s heart sunk. Of course Irons would know if they tried to get a warrant, especially one made to expose him.

The office was silent, the two pilots falling into quiet thought.

“Can you distract him?” Emily finally broke the silence, and Brad’s eyes fell into a hard line.

“That’s a bad idea, Long, and you know it,” he hissed, crossing weather beaten arms across his yellow tactical vest.

“You didn’t let me finish-“

“And I don’t have to,” the older man shot back, “I know what you want to do. You want to go snooping through Iron’s personal artifacts in that rich-ass office of his. You’ll get caught, and I guarantee you, it won’t be as simple as Jill’s firing. If there’s something truly wrong about Irons—and there is—he’ll never let you live if you find it.” Brad’s tone held a hint of warning that settled a cold stone in Emily’s stomach.

It was true. And she hated it. But she was sick and fucking tired of letting the crooked cop walk all over her.

“I think he’ll end up beating my ass either way,” Emily spoke solemnly, “You and I both know he has it out for me. Both because I’m S.T.A.R.S and because I can’t learn to shut my mouth—” Brad huffed out a mirthless laugh at that, “I have nothing to lose. Raccoon city is going to shit—you know that infection is going to spread down here any day now—and this station is only going to plow it further into shit if we don’t do something now.”

Brad paused for a minute, considering the woman’s words. Emily knew just by looking at him that he didn’t approve of the idea of Emily breaking into Iron’s office, but no matter what he said, she was not backing down.

“Fine,” the man considered with a resentful sigh, and Emily felt her heart leap into her throat. With a giddy squeal she launched herself across the room to crush her comrade in a tight hug.

“You won’t regret this, Vickers! I promise!”

“I hope so. I really hope so.”

-

“Sir? I’ve come to drop off my weekly report.” Emily knocked on the misted glass of Irons’ office, heart pounding against her sternum almost painfully. The plan was going smoothly, so far, even if it was only in planning stages.

She waited with baited breath until finally, finally, the heart shaped lock on Irons’ door clicked. Quickly, Emily shot her hand out, chipped manicure meeting cold metal and pressing hard on the inside.

“It’s putty.” She had told Brad, holding up the kids toy, “If we can jam the lock with it, we won’t need to have his stupid key to enter the office later.

The play-doh squished as it made contact with the locking mechanism, and Emily could only pray it jammed them shut like she anticipated it would. She knew it was enough to be a door stop in larger amounts, so it had to be able to cause Irons a minor inconvenience.

“Miss Long?” Irons’ voice went from muffled to clear as the door swung open, but his pissed-off attitude remained. He didn’t sound surprised, more frustrated that she had interrupted whatever he had been working on.

Whatever he was working on that she would find in just five minutes time.

“My report, sir.” She repeated, holding out the papers. “Detailing where the RPD hasn’t been flying this week.”

Pushing Irons’ buttons wasn’t part of the plan. That was just for the fun of watching his pudgy face turn red with anger, then a deep plum purple.

“Get out of my sight, Long.” He hissed, snatching the papers and slamming his door behind him. To Emily’s satisfaction, she didn’t hear the lock click back into place. Only time would tell if the rest of the plan would succeed, now.

“Oh, sir?” Emily spoke, keeping her voice sickly sweet, and betraying the scowl on her face, “I also needed to tell you that there’s a reporter in the lobby asking for you.”

“That’s what I have a secretary for. Get the fuck away from my door,” Irons hissed.

“She’s asking for you, sir. She’s quite insistent.”

“Tell her to piss off.”

“I can’t. She’s the daughter of some big-wig politician.”

There was a heavy pause, then the door swung open. With a thick shoulder, Irons shoved her back from the door and stomped towards the staircase. Emily knew Brian Irons better than he even knew himself. The asshole was a kiss-ass to any politician he could bitch to. Everybody in Raccoon City knew it. The man thought he would be the next great president someday with how much he talked useless politics.

As Iron’s rounded the corner out of Emily’s vision, the turned her attention back to Irons’ door. Her pulse thrummed against her chest like a jackrabbit and suddenly she found it hard to breathe. Was this happening? She grasped the brass handle and turned, feeling victoriously when she felt the putty stick to the lock and the door swing open.

This was happening.

Irons’ office was the definition of “wannabe millionaire.” Taxidermy littered the walls, a plush red carpet adorned the floor. His desk was sturdy and dark, made of what looked to be fine wood engraved with various natural motifs. How much had he spent to make his office look like this?

But that wasn’t the point of this investigation.

Emily made quick work of scanning the office. Papers covered every surface in a messy fashion, but none of them looked incriminating in the slightest. Some were bills for the upkeep of the station, others were reports from the other officers. She was about to consider the mission a bust when she saw the metal door in the corner.

Now that looked suspicious.

She hurried across the room, pushing the door open with probably more strength than was necessary and gasped.

Figures of animals surrounded her and made her feel like she was the one in the cage, being feasted upon by the hungry eyes of predators. The collection was extensive. A tiger? A moose? These animals were huge. Had Irons hunted all of them? The glassy, vacant eyes of the beasts told her the story in silence. Irons was more than a brutal leader. He was a killer. A chill went up Emily’s spine and she remembered what Brad had told her in the S.T.A.R.S office. She needed to find information and get out quick.

She weaved through the hallway, keeping her gaze downturned from the horror’s embedded in the walls. Every square inch was a gruesome detailing of the life of Brian Irons. She was too relieved to be disappointed when the labyrinth ended and she was met with a locked cell door. She just wanted to get the hell out of there.

She made to turn around, adrenaline finally giving way to disappointment when she saw it: a leather bound journal on a dresser top open with the pencil still strewn across the pages. Like someone had just written in it. Someone being Irons.

She approached her bounty cautiously, another predator in the hallway of prey and feasted her eyes on the pages.

White-Tailed Deer (Male, approx.. 6 years old)

Place of Capture: Arklay Mountains

Length: 6’1” Weight: 353 lbs.

Pleased with how it turned out, but I’m getting tired of working on these puny things. May be time to move on to more challenging animals

Siberian Tiger (Male, approx.. 4 years old)

Place of Capture: Khabarovsk Krai

Length: 9’6” Weight 529 lbs.

I nearly came when I sliced its yellow belly open and its warn guts spilled out. I still smell of wild beast. This is the life.

Pig (Female, 22 years old)

Place of Capture: Raccoon City

Length: 5’3” Weight: 110 lbs.

The specimen’s body is soft, sweet, and white all over. And it’s—

Emily was going to be sick.

If this was indeed Irons… he was worse than she thought. Sexual fantasies about the murder of animals and stuffing their bodies full for display? Forget the predators and prey on display, Irons was a monster in his own right.

The pilot’s eyes wandered back down to the last entry. Something seemed… off. A 22 year old pig? Only weighing 110 pounds? It didn’t sound like any pig Emily knew. She wasn’t a farmer, but 22 seemed… old for a pig. And they had to be heavier than a young woman. And soft white skin?

The sentence was unfinished, leaving no answers to her questions. She wanted to find more… to see what other secrets this office held, but she had a sinking feeling that she had already taken too long. Soon Irons would realize there was no reporter in the lobby to feed his overinflated ego would be looking for her. She had to get out of here.

She pivoted on her heel, saving the information from the taxidermy log in the back of her mind. Anxiety drove her first step, but fear halted her second. The metal door to the private room she had discovered creaked with what only meant entrance. Swearing accompanied it, angry and blustering.

Irons was back. Irons was going to find her. Irons was going to kill her.

“Fuckin’ bitch. I should stuff her next. She’s gonna pay for fuckin with me. Forget the mayor’s—"

She was frozen in fear when Irons rounded the corner and locked furious eyes on her. Salt and pepper eyebrows contorted into a wild sneer, and the most violent of expressions darkened Irons’ round face.

“Look who it is.”

[badlydrawnmanic]

you’ve all wanted it, and i’m not ready to go to sleep yet, so here’s the latest installment of the sonic underground rewatch!

episode 6 thoughts under the cut!

• unrelated to the episode but there was some lego ninjago commercial that showed like. non-lego versions of the main characters and it looked nice. don’t know if it was for a show or the website idk i wasn’t paying attention • [GUITAR RIFF] SONIC- • i will literally never get tired of the opening theme and you can’t change my mind, i would die for a remaster of this. it doesn’t even have to be a cover. gimme a live performance and i will cry • “tangled webs”. spider concerns already • ooh, swatbot factory. interesting • manic just slid down a little rocky hill on his ass and that’s gotta hurt • sonia stop shining that laser pointer in manic’s eyes you’re gonna kill him • “switch six, switch six...” reminded me of the fun fact that your brain can only identify numbers up to a maximum of 4 or 5 at a glance, i forget which. but like... notice how if you only look at something very briefly you wouldn’t be able to immediately know “oh there’s 27 objects there” but you can very quickly identify 1-4 • sonia stop hitting manic with the drone what is wrong with you • some of these background characters are passable and some of them are hideous, there’s no in-between

• oh it’s the lion boy!! his voice is weird but it’s him!! • god dingo’s face is all kinds of fucked up in this close up as he’s talking • why is robotnik’s cape flowing so far behind him when he’s walking at a somewhat slow pace • i find it funny when eggman’s henchmen mock him when he’s not around, but i didn’t expect sleet to do that • “intruder .8 kilograms? what?? • how does it weigh a drone that is hovering in mid-air • somehow dingo identifies the drone as being piloted by sonia despite it being a hunk of metal with cameras on it • dingo being or looking like in the case of my headcanon a grown man and slobbering over sonia is kinda freaky (it’s partially why i made the hc so it’s less yikes but it’s still uncomfortable and i’m definitely gonna tone it down because fuck) • sleet don’t hit him!! • sonia is clearly frustrated during her conversation with manic (he’s being reckless as fuck) but the animators decided to give her a dead eyed smile for the whole scene • i wonder how they made the mechanical sounds? like the electronic shweeshweeshwee of the robots walking or the whoosh of doors opening? foley stuff is fascinating to me and i wanna know if they had to do any weird shit

• sleet is monologuing about how he hears the pitter patter of manic’s little feet and oh my god his eyes • how is dingo sneaking up behind manic he’s so fucking huge and noisy • sleet says “sylvia” before whacking the drone out of the air with what looks like an entire swatbot he just sort of picked up? i don’t get the reference and since when is he so strong • okay in the next shot it’s just an arm but still • “sometimes you just have to get their attention”? • cool transition between scenes with the camera glitching and shutting down from the perspective of the drone, that’s neat • dingo picks up sonia but wasn’t he just behind manic? once again the pacing is confusing me • “oh, ick” me too sonia • manic and sonia are tied up and were but in gigantic chairs and it looks so funny • “now, sarah” okay i get the “sylvia” thing now, sleet’s just forgetting sonia’s name somehow • sonia says “twit-face” and i feel like she could be more clever than that • “whatever, sophia” • “where’s sonic!?” [NYOOM] • sonic’s voice sounds... really weird, is that what jaleel white sounds like when he isn’t trying to sound all nasally and shit? also he burps and it’s gross • god the movement in this scene is very janky in general • sonia starts lecturing sonic but gets interrupted by a laser blast and manic pipes in like “can we talk about this later?” • sonia strong • is sonic just spilling lava everywhere??? • you’d think there’d be more sounds here • “am i good or what?” feels like it was pulled from satam? • “you’re insufferable” “thank you” • sonia’s voice is so shrill jesus christ • i feel like this is a pretty good confrontation of how sonic not working as a team with the other two can cause pretty significant problems • sonia i don’t think robotnik would throw you in prison, that’s what the roboticizer is for and i don’t think he’d keep y’all separate from that • cyrus does a weird double take and i think it’s an animation error • this cyrus kid is pretty sus- who is this hippie dude- • CYRUS SUS CYRUS SUS • there was deadass just a normal animal bird with some kind of accessory on its neck as a background character • damn it cyrus • SONG TIME??? • apparently no • once again manic and sonia are tied up which lasts 2 seconds • aosth slow-mo beam, purple flavor • what are these background characters they’re so ugly • OH NO I REMEMBER WHAT SANCTUARY IS NOW • children... i’d love to see the tiny babes but they’re undoubtedly ugly as fuck • ROBOTNIK WANTS TO MURDER CHILDREN • one of the kids looks like reptar • SONG TIME NOW • why is this so. idk, whimsical? idk how to describe this but i already don’t like it • they forgot to draw manic’s head quills in a shot • why is cyrus looking so pissed at these children • sounds like a weird off brand christmas song. don’t like it very much but i guess it isn’t bad. maybe a 2/10 • sdnjksg assaulting your siblings with a cloud of flour sounds fun if not wasteful but still, manic seems to be enjoying his little tech demo • sonia says “this place is gross” and manic goes “hey, you’re talking about my childhood home” and i think it’s a good thing that the show didn’t just forget where they all came from and how this can create very minor conflict between them? like manic and sonia seem to slight each other rather frequently when it comes to sonia’s attitude towards dirty places and manic finding it comfortable there due to familiarity even if it wasn’t all that good. i can relate to that • sonic walks off the right side of the screen after refusing some goggles then. pops up and puts on the shades again? i don’t get it • oh my god sonic knocks cyrus (and manic by extension) over and they literally just. rotate the asset in place and leave them planking. there wasn’t a water splash or change of pose or anything • how does sonic zoom past a swat bot looking directly at him without triggering any alarms? why didn’t it notice him • why are there so many regretful traitors on this show • how does sonic not notice the clearly a hologram man in front of him • god the animation in this episode in general is abyssmal • ah jeez manic and sonia have been captured again • “attention sonic hedgehog” • OH NO CYRUS’ DAD but the expression he made in response to seeing him roboticized killed it

• i know he didn’t snort here but i can feel the little “snrk” sound here. it was at this moment he knew he fucked up • PULL THE LEVER, SLEET • that little drone thing is fucking insane, it melted the entire roboticizer?? • i much prefer when background characters resemble actual animals • aww hug • poor cyrus :( • GOD SONIC AND SONIA SIT DOWN TO COMFORT HIM BUT MANIC LAYS DOWN ALL DRAMATIC JUST SMILING, READ THE ROOM BUD-

[thiswasinevitableid]

For the Meet Ugly Prompt: #23 Sternclary NSFW if you can :)

23: our mutual friend has been talking us up to the other and when we finally meet, we have to tell them that we’ve been in a feud for the last six years (and I can’t stop thinking of all the nice things our friend has said about you). NSWF

“EeEEH, I’m so excited for you to finally meet him.” Aubrey tugs her uncle down the hall, “he’s practically like another uncle to me, and he’s really such a fucking amazing cook--he made all the stuff tonight--so he’ll go with your whole foodie thing-”

“Critic, firebug, food critic” Stern smiles at her.

“Right, right, and he’s got the hunky lumberjack thing going that you know you love.”

“Geez, you buy one calendar-” he elbows her, chuckling. Then the world screeches to a halt. 

“Mr. Cobb.” He nods, polite as he can manage with rage-horns blaring in his head. 

“Stern.” The bearded man nods back, pushing off of the counter where he’s leaning, glass in hand, talking to Dani.

“Why do I have the bad feeling you two know each other.” Dani looks at her uncle nervously.

“You remember when Amnesty was first getting off the ground and we were struggling to get anyone to take us seriously? This” he points to Stern, no anger or ice in his voice but plenty in his eyes, “is the fucker who gave us the bad review that set us back months.”

“I was doing my job, I’ve told you that a dozen times since then, it was nothing personal. Unlike what you did afterwards.” He replies coolly. 

“Oh for fucks sake, I apologized for that.”

“Yes, two years after the fact, which hardly makes up for arguing with every review I wrote so forcefully that Hayes pulled me from the review circuit for months and made me do cookbook reviews instead.”

“Poor Stern, had to do a slightly different desk job while I was terrified the restaurant would go under.”

“You ended up fine, and if the food at Hornet is any indication, you improved.”

“Lucky me, getting such kind words from the illustrious Joseph Stern.”

“I was trying to-”

“Nevermind. I gotta go check the stuff on the grill.” He reaches the screen door to the back yard, then turns, “and I appreciate the thought, kid, but he’s just not my type.”

---------------------------------------------------------------

The problem is, of course, that Stern is exactly Barclay’s type. Or maybe he’s everyone’s type, all nice suits and handsome face and perfectly slicked down black hair. They’ve run across each other at plenty of food functions in the city over the last six years, and Barclay always feels like a scraggy mountain man standing near him. It doesn’t help that Stern talks about food the way other people talk about fine art, and Barclay could listen to him do it all day. 

He also tells really, really corny jokes when he thinks no one is listening, and Barclay hates his mouth for how many times it’s laughed at them. 

Making amends is the right thing to do, but every time he considered it his whole being--piloted by his ego-- recoils. 

But they’re going to be family soon. And his niece doesn’t deserve to deal with their feud. He picks up his phone, Stern’s number on his desk thanks to Dani’s wedding planning list. 

Me: This is Barclay. If you’re still reading, I think we should meet and talk things over. For real, not in the way we keep fucking up.

Stern: Why?

Me: Because your niece and my niece are getting married and I don’t want us bickering like jerks at the wedding.

Stern:Good point.

Me: Meet me at the Arch? Bar there is good.

Stern: Ok. 8 tomorrow work?

Me: See you then.

---------------------------------------------

Stern fights the urge to shred his napkin as he waits at the bar. Maybe this is a set up, or a trap, or-

“Hey.” Barclay announces himself with a tap on the shoulder. His auburn hair is hanging loose, and the blue shirt he’s chosen brings out the brown of his eyes and the copper in his beard.

Stern should stop staring. 

He picks up the drink menu as Barclay sits down next to him, “Um, the, um, I can buy. Consider it another apology. What do you get?”

Barclay gives him a mild smile, “How about you pick for both of us?”

It’s an olive branch wrapped in a challenge, and so Stern studies the menu carefully. Chooses the Bigfoot, a mixture of bourbon, chocolate bitters, with a splash of cherry soda, for Barclay and and the Roswell (smoked prickly pear juice and tequila) for himself. 

“Good choice.” Barclay smiles at him over the rim of his glass, the first genuine smile he’s ever sent his way, and he straightens proudly at the praise. 

“I remember the drink menu at Hornet was bourbon heavy.”

“Goes with the food, but yeah, it’s my booze of choice.”

“So…” Stern swirls the toothpick in his drink, “how do you suggest we go forward?”

Barclay sighs, “Was kinda hoping you had some ideas.”

“Look, how about we agree that when we’re together for wedding planning stuff, we don’t talk about our history, restaurants or food that isn’t specifically related to the wedding menu?”

“Deal.” Barclay finishes his drink, “what do we talk about instead?”

“Books?” Stern signals the bartender, orders them both another round.

“Works for me. Hmm, lemme guess, you read those big-ass historical ones.”

Stern snickers, “I prefer mysteries, or well done travelogue.”

“You’ve read Bourdain, I’m guessing?”

“Of course. He put me on to a cooking memoir by, by, oh damn it all, he wrote that Madeline series.”

“Bemelmans! Shit, I love his memoirs. They’re my comfort reads along with My Life in France.”

“Classic.” 

Before Stern even knows it, an hour has gone by, they’re three drinks in, and he has a new reading list. He also sees now why Aubrey thought to set him up with the cook; Barclay is easy-going and friendly, even stopping their conversation to exchange hellos with several staff that recognize him, a needed counterpoint to his own professional demeanor. That soft, deep voice slips under his skin, sets his nerves humming, and Stern wants to move closer, let those capable hands do whatever they wished to him if it meant Barclay would keep stealing appreciative glances at him. 

Then he puts his foot in it.

“....food was just a little heavy, like how it is at Amnesty.”

Barclay frowns, “have you even been back there lately?”

“No, I assumed I’d be forcibly shown the door.”

“I would’ve been tempted, but I’m a fucking professional, thank you very much.”

“Besides, it wouldn’t prove your point; I know you’re the exec, but you don’t cook there anymore.”

“Hold the fuck up, it’s my cooking you think was the issue?”

“I didn’t mean that, just that...no, actually, I did mean it. That menu never played to your strengths.”

“That so.” Barclay slams his glass down, the dram undercut when he flashes an apologetic look at the waitstaff before standing in Stern’s space and looming over him, “my house, Tuesday at seven. I’ll show you exactly how good that menu can be in my hands.”

“I look forward to it.”

Barclay leans closer and whispers “bring an appetite” in his ear, voice just shy of a growl. 

Somehow, Stern doesn’t think he’ll have trouble doing so.

------------------------------------------------------

Stern knocks on the door of the modest house. He knows Barclay is now worth quite a bit of money, so the fact he’s chosen an A-frame that looks like it belongs in Tahoe is charming. As was the afternoon they spent with their (clearly relieved) nieces testing out wedding cake ideas. Barclay even laughed at his corny puns and complimented his flavor choice (and how the suit he’s having fitted for the ceremony fit him).

“Come in.” 

He steps into the house, finds the kitchen off to the right, just beyond the dining room. There’s only one place set at the table, and when Barclay comes into view he sees why. The taller man is in his chefs whites, hair tied back, making Stern relieved he’s wearing a suit. 

“Should I…”

“Take a seat, first course is gonna be out shortly.”

“Right, of course--what’s that sound?” Something is whining behind a door down the hall.

“Hmm? Oh, just Sass, he heard someone come in and wants to be the welcoming committee. He’ll chill out in a sec, he has a dog puzzle there to keep him occupied.” Barclay turns back into the kitchen as Stern sits down. Thanks to the pass through, he can watch as he pulls down a plate and sets three parcels of dough on it. 

“You’re getting tasting portions” he sets the plate down, “I’m not blowing through a bunch of ingredients just to prove a point. Smoked salmon pierogies to start.”

Stern takes one bite and knows he’s beaten. The filling is perfectly seasoned, feels like butter in his mouth, and the dough is impeccably made. Maybe it’s a fluke, but all three are gone before Barclay sets the next plate in front of him.

“Bacon, arugula, goat cheese, and blueberry jam on sourdough.” The aroma from the sandwich is intoxicating. 

The first course was not a fluke, and he moans after taking a bite. Barclay chuckles, turning back to the kitchen. 

“So, Aubrey told me something interesting.” Barclay says casually as he slices what looks like lamb, “she said you don’t only write about food.”

“Oh lord.” Embarrassment creeps up his back, so he focus on his meal.

“Weekly World News is almost as good a byline as the Times.”

“Please don’t say more.”

“Bigfoot is my boyfriend’ was especially good.”

“Oh lord, you looked them up?”

“Yep, Aubrey gave me your pen name. I had a blast reading them, you should, uh, let that funny side out more.” The oven shuts and he returns to the table leaning against the counter of the pass through, “gonna be a minute more on the third course. How is it so far?”

“Incredible.”

“Glad to hear it.” Barclay wipes his hands on his apron and Stern has a moment of clarity; the cook is nervous.

“Can I tell you something nobody else knows? I, um, I’m working on a pitch that combines the two. I want to travel to famous paranormal locations and write about local food at the same time.”

“That sounds amazing.” Barclay pulls out a chair, “do you know if anyone’ll take it?”

“I’m trying some magazines and websites first, to see if they’ll pick it up as a series, which’d make it easier to jump to a book later on.”

A timer dings and Barclay stands, returning with a lamb pot pie for one that Stern eats without concern for how conspicuous his sounds of delight are getting. 

Dessert arrives on a small, round plate. Stern tucks into the airy chocolate strawberry cake with raspberry sauce on the side, notice Barclay already washing up. Pity, he was hoping he could stay and talk awhile. There’s only a bite or two left when he decides to admit defeat.

“This is one of the best meals I’ve ever had, Barclay. Whatever you were trying to prove, you proved.”

“Good.” Is all he gets in reply. 

“Barclay, I have to know: I wasn’t the only critic to give a less than stellar review of Amnesty when it opened. We both know that. So...why me? Why act as if I was the one who wronged you.”

Barclay turns, wiping his hands on his apron before hanging it up as he sighs, “yeah, you weren’t the only bad one, but the Times held more weight than any other food section in the city. When you reviewed us we were floundering, and when I saw it I just, I almost gave up; I’d put everything, my heart, my soul, my last dime, into Amnesty. And here was some critic basically dooming us. But once I was done being upset, I got pissed, threw myself into proving the bad reviews wrong and you, uh, you became the avatar for every critic who wrote us off as not being fancy enough to compete in the food scene here.”

“Are, did you make me your  fucking mental punching bag?” Stern stands just as Barclay leaves the kitchen.

“Yeah, and I’m not fucking sorry. That spite was the kick I needed.”

“And it nearly cost me my job, and my reputation!”

“Maybe you should have lost both, given that you helped Hayes shoot down anyone who threatened the old guard.”

“No I fucking didn’t! I fought him time and again to let me review new chefs, feature them, praise them. Lord almighty Barclay, I’m not some soulless fucking machine who just does as I’m told. In fact-” they’re toe to toe, his lower back to the table, as he pulls out his phone and searches, “even in my review, the one you hated, I was defending you, telling people to give you a chance.”

“Like hell you were.” Barclay snorts. 

“I’ll prove it, here” he clears his throat, reads off an excerpt, “Chef Cobb is clearly talented, with a sense of flavor that’s at once exciting and comforting. It is my hope that as Amnesty leaves it’s growing pains behind, we will see incredible offerings from him. There.” He tosses his phone on the table, “see?”

Barclay stutters once, twice, then mutters, “finish your meal, Stern.”

“No, not until you apologize.”

“Jesus christ, just eat the fucking cake!”

“Make me!”

Barclay inhales, long and measured, as he reaches around Stern and picks up the bite of cake. When he holds it to Stern’s lips, he keeps them in a firm line. 

“Open. your fucking. Mouth.”

“Fuck youOghm” he flails backwards, hand landing on his plate as Barclay shoves the cake into his mouth. He’s never had sweetness applied so forcefully, and the part of him that isn’t annoyed is screaming with arousal. 

He swallows, feels something sticky on his fingertips. 

Barclay leers, rumbles, “that’s bet-”

Stern smears his hand across his face, streaking raspberry sauce on his cheeks and mouth. 

Barclay licks his lips, growls, and lunges forward at the same moment Stern grabs his shoulders and pulls. Teeth connect first with his neck, then his lower lip before Barclay shoves their mouths together, moaning when Stern tugs their hips flush. Grinds against him so hard the table digs into his back as they yank ineffectively at each other’s clothes. 

“Tell me, Stern, four courses enough for you?”

“I’m satisfied. Barely.” He bites Barclay’s ear, making him grunt. 

“Barely? Barely? Fine, think I got one more you. On your fucking knees.” Strong hands shove him down by his shoulders, or they try to; he’s already dropping, panting in anticipation as he fumbles with Barclay’s pants. When he finally gets a look at his cock he groans hungrily at the size, lips staying parted as Barclay guides it between them with one hand and yanks his hair with another. 

He’s craving, praying for, and expecting roughness. Even so, he gags when Barclay thrusts as far as he can, toes curling and eyes watering as he bumps the top of his throat again and again.

“Fuck, fuck, there we go” he tugs his hair, wonderful pain prickling his neck and making him moan, “oh fuck yeah, every time I do that you tighten, so good, so fucking good.” He tightens his hold, fucking his mouth harder as Stern brings a hand up to stroke the base of his cock, “nmm, yeah, that’s it, show me what those hands are good for, god, fuck, Joe.” 

Stern whimpers, delighted at how his name sounds in that rough, demanding baritone. 

“Shit, fuck, you want something else to swallow tonight?”

He nods, paws at Barclays thigh. 

“Then you, fuck, you got it, fuckfuck Joe, baby, that’s it ohfuck.” Cum spurts down his throat and he swallows like he’s starving, licks and sucks when Barclay orders him to finish it all. 

As soon as the cook releases him, he drops to his knees on the hardwood next to Stern. Stern, for his part, is wondering if Barclay will at least let him hide in his bathroom a few minutes so he doesn’t have to drive home hard and soaking wet. 

Then his back hits the floor, one calloused hand cupping his face and the other yanking his pants open so messily a button goes flying. 

“I, you, you don’t have to-”

“Do you want me to?” Barclay pauses, meeting his eyes with such genuine, tender concern that he melts like butter in a pan. 

“Lord yes.”

Barclay’s hand slips beneath his boxer-briefs, three fingers sliding into him when he spreads his legs.

“Fuck, fuck, ohlord, Barclay, just a little shallowerAHfuck, yesright, right there.” He cranes his neck and Barclay gets the hint,dipping down to kiss him to the slick sound of his fingers fucking into him. 

Jerking his hips, he can’t find the friction he needs, so he reaches between them and tilts Barclay’s hand so his dick can drag across his palm. His vocabulary has diminished to affirmation laced profanity (or profanity laced affirmatives) and Barclay is faring the same, growling praise in his ear as he gives him more pressure to rut against. 

“Lookit you, god, shoulda known you’d look as good fucking as you do eating. Take me so well, gonna find every way to fill you.”

“Please.” He whispers, eyes squeezing shut in concentration.

“Gonna spread you out on a table and eat you like a fucking gourmet meal, gonna fuck that perfect mouth til your so full of cum you can’t swallow any more.”

“Lord, Bar, Barclay, please don’t stop, don’t tease.”

“Who said anything about teasing?” A tender kiss to the corner of his mouth even as the hand fucks him hard enough to make him cry out, “you’re my new favorite taste, babe, and I got so many fucking plans for you.”

Stern cums so abruptly his leg kicks out and bangs his heel on a table leg, but he doesn’t feel it. His would is the pleasure speeding through him, the repetition of Barclay’s name, the affection that overwhelms him and the fear nipping at it’s heels. 

He comes back to himself on his side, face nestled against Barclay’s chest. 

“Christ, think we both needed that.” The cook sighs, content, and pets his hair. 

“I, um, I certainly no longer feel the need to argue with you over things from six years ago.”

“Me neither. And, uh, I’m sorry for being a dick for so long.”

“And I’m sorry for the spot my review put you in.” 

Barclay laughs, shaking his head, “only took six years and some killer sex to get us there, huh?”

“It is pretty silly, in retrospect.”

“Your foot okay?”

“Uh huh. I, um, I can be out of your hair in a moment.”

Barclay raises an eyebrow, “because you want to be or because you think you should be?”

“The second one.” 

“Don’t gotta leave on my account. In fact, uh, I, uh, I was hoping maybe you’d stay. I want to test out some breakfast ideas on you. Also I like cuddling you and don’t want to stop.”

“A compelling argument. Though we should move to the bed.”

“On it.” Barclay stands, scoops him up with some effort, and carries him precariously to the still-shut bedroom door.

“Damn it.”

“On it.” Stern reaches out and turns the knob, whereupon Barclay barely gets him to the bed without dropping him, as Sass is boinging about their feet.  

“What kind-”

“Rottweiler, corgi, spaniel. I think. Not sure where the huge feet came from.” Barclay cuddles up next to him as he strips off his clothes. As he rolls under the covers, Barclay nuzzles his cheek.

“Would, um, would you like to try having a, um, a different kind of relationship? Like a dating one?”

“I’d love it.” 

Barclay’s smile is pure bliss, and when he kisses him, it’s the best taste in the world 

[michaelmilkers]

I saw in one of your tags that you mentioned how 21 pilots made emo pretentious and im actually curious about why you say that (not hate i just never knew about them that much)

my friend you have asked me about a topic i am very knowledgeable and very angry about so prepare yourself for what you have wrought

it isnt just twenty one pilots but theyre just the biggest and most popular example

like. take my chemical romance in the early-mid 2000s aka the peak of emo. it was very melodramatic and theatrical, the way emo should be. there was a presence of “we are not like other people” in a lot of the songs, but it was never just that. it was more of a “we have been cast out and we kinda suck but thats okay.” one of the best examples of this is, ironically, i’m not okay.

take, for example, the opening to the mtv music video:

[Ray] You like D&D, Audrey Hepburn, Fangoria, Harry Houdini and croquet. You can't swim, you can't dance and you don't know karate. Face it, you're never gonna make it. [Gerard] I don't wanna make it, I just wanna...

this immediately establishes the song as being about social outcasts and people who dont fit the mold. the fucking tag line of the song is “i’m not okay” ffs, that really tells you all you need to know about the song. but the important thing is it doesnt take itself too seriously either. the music video takes place in a private school, and shows scenes of the band members eating lunch alone, being bullied by jocks and preps, etc., but it ALSO shows scenes of frank putting swim goggles on in chemistry class and ray drawing on his test with a crayon and then licking it, and at the end they all ambush and beat the shit out of a guy in a mascot costume. all of this is cut up by text saying things like “if you ever felt alone” “if you ever felt wronged” “if you ever felt anxious”

do you see the juxtaposition here? the music video could very very easily be a fake deep bullying psa, but its not, because while theyre getting bullied and playing their music in a garage they are also, unequivocally, total fucking losers for obvious comedic effect. it is a very exaggerated and lighthearted version of real phenomena, which makes it more relatable to a wider audience.

the same can be said about the song itself. it has some pretty heavy and angsty lyrics (”i’m not o-fucking-kay”) but the instrumentals are punchy and energetic and catchy and gerard’s vocal delivery is very theatrical but also very deliberate and he still puts real emotion in the words. it sounds like its taking the piss out of not being okay, which is exactly what i as a clinically depressed 13 year old needed, and i bet a lot of other people can say the same. i’m a loser and thats okay. i fucking suck in school and thats okay. i feel shitty and thats okay. i’m not okay and that, in itself, is okay.

with twenty one pilots, on the other hand, there is no theatrics, theres no taking the piss, theres no over-the-top melodrama that made emo what it was. 

take, for comparison, the opening lines of heathens:

All my friends are heathens, take it slow Wait for them to ask you who you know Please don't make any sudden moves You don't know the half of the abuse

and this presents, immediately, one of my biggest criticisms of twenty one pilots: their rampant appropriation of mental illness.

because my first thought when hearing this is as an abuse survivor and someone with ptsd they can kiss every single square inch of my ass.

Welcome to the room of people Who have rooms of people that they loved one day Docked away Just because we check the guns at the door Doesn't mean our brains will change from hand grenades You're loving on the psychopath sitting next to you You're loving on the murderer sitting next to you You'll think, "How'd I get here, sitting next to you?"

they try to do the same kind of nuanced poetic lyrics that my chemical romance did and in my opinion is just doesnt fucking work because they take themselves SO. FUCKING. SERIOUSLY. it sounds JOYLESS. 

and the song closes out with this:

Why'd you come? You knew you should have stayed (It's blasphemy) I tried to warn you just to stay away (Away) And now they're outside ready to bust (To bust) It looks like you might be one of us

this is what i mean by pretentious. there is a clear separation of the person/people from whose point of view the song is told and the people the song is meant to be listened to by from the greater population, but theres no high energy or comedic self deprecation to counteract it. 

now take some lyrics from heavydirtysoul, a song i actually really like the sound of, im not just shitting on this band bc its not to my taste yall:

There's an infestation in my mind's imagination I hope that they choke on smoke 'cause I'm smoking them out the basement This is not rap, this is not hip-hop Just another attempt to make the voices stop

Nah, I didn't understand a thing you said If I didn't know better I'd guess you're all already dead Mindless zombies walking around with a limp and a hunch Saying stuff like, "You only live once." You've got one time to figure it out One time to twist and one time to shout One time to think and I say we start now Sing it with me if you know what I'm talking about

right back at it again with that appropriation of mental illness symptoms! and some dumbass critique of our generation that doesnt fit in with the rest of the song at all, closing out the verse with “we are not like you” shit. the vocal delivery at least has more energy than heathens, but the lyrics just feel like a mishmash of different points theyre trying to make that have nothing to do with each other.

the best line of the song is undoubtedly “death inspires me like a dog inspires a rabbit” but its poetic just... for the sake of being poetic? its one of those lyrics that sounds like someone came up with and was like “bro we gotta put that in a song” but then couldnt actually figure out how to fit it into a song in a way that would flow. another example of this is “i cant drown my demons they know how to swim” in bring me the horizon’s can you feel my heart. not shitting on bring me the horizon, i really like sempiternal, but thats another line thats just poetic for the sake of being poetic. and to be put on t-shirts. i know this because when i was 12 i had a shirt that said “i cant drown my demons they know how to swim” on it.

i could do more analysis on other mcr songs, namely welcome to the black parade and famous last words, but i would be here for literal hours and idk if people actually care that much.

to sum my points up:

they take themselves too seriously. they appropriate and romanticize mental illness (forgot to mention that top’s website, at one time, described their music as “schizoid pop” lol). they pull a lot of “We Are Not Like Other People..,.,.,,...” shit. 

that last point is not inherently a bad thing, for example the new slipknot album is literally called “we are not your kind” but the song that contains that line as a lyric is all out life, and corey taylor is screaming that entire song and the instrumentals are reminiscent of speed metal with how fucking energetic they are. its edgy and its GREAT. twenty one pilots just sounds like they think theyre the shit.

also, and i want you to read the following sentence in a bass boosted voice to best understand how i feel when i say this:

the twenty one pilots cover of cancer is an embarrassment that completely misses the point of the original song and changed it into a weird amalgamation of lo-fi synth pop.

emo music is dead. thank u and goodnight.

[marvelmando]

tempest [p.parker x o.c.] - nine

notes: posting is my way of procrastinating doing my anthro homework. on a completely different note, i dyed my hair purple. ...it’s been an eventful couple of days, to say the least.

contains: swearing, canon-typical violence

pairing: peter parker + fem! o.c.

word count: 3.6k

previous chapter next chapter tempest masterlist

MARIN WOKE UP THE NEXT AFTERNOON DETERMINED TO FIND A SOLUTION TO HER PROBLEM.

The first thing she did was chug down two full glasses of water. Then, feeling much more energized, she left to go to the kitchen. If she was going to do some detective work, she was going to need a lot of brain food.

After snacking, she made her way to an unoccupied computer. She wasn't entirely sure what she planned on finding, but she figured research was the best first step.

Distantly, she recalled the buzz surrounding Midtown's homecoming, and that it was supposed to be that night. She pulled up the school's website, scouring any information on Peter or Spider-Man. Most of the results were about the incident at D.C., which was no help to her. Peter was only mentioned once or twice, but only for things like the band or Decathlon team, and those articles were dated for the previous year.

Exiting out of that website, she tapped lightly against the desk out of habit, trying to think of what to search. After searching up the Vulture, the only articles she found were recounts of the ferry incident, or about the actual bird. None of them revealed anything Marin didn't already know.

Frustrated, she searched up Tony Stark and sorted the page from most recent to last. After scrolling for a minute through headlines discussing everything from Iron Man to his relationship with Pepper Potts, one article caught her eye.

STARK TOWER RELOCATING? OR IS IRON MAN GOING BROKE AFTER SIGNING SOKOVIA ACCORDS?

Marin clicked on it, skimming through. They were relocating the Avenger's tower? With a quick search on Tony's old bodyguard, Marin found Happy Hogan's cellphone number. She jotted it down on a nearby piece of paper and ran to the landline.

She dialed in the number and waited for Happy to pick up.

"Hello?" A gruff voice said on the fourth ring.

"Hi, um, is this Happy Hogan?" Marin chewed on her lip.

"Yes, who's this?" He sounded cross. "And how'd you get my number?"

"Um, Google, sir." She answered. "And I'm... my name's M—Liz, I'm Peter's girlfriend? I know he works for Mr. Stark, and I was calling to check up on him." Marin nearly used her name but realized that Tony had probably told Happy about the crazy mutant that corrupted his protégé.

"Shouldn't he be at school?"

"Yes, and I checked his apartment, and he's not there, so the Tower was the first place I thought to call, since he's always at the internship, anyway."

"Well, actually," Happy's voice pulled away, mumbling something that Marin couldn't distinguish. "Peter lost the internship. Aren't you supposed to know that? As his girlfriend?"

"He... didn't tell me?" Marin winced, both at the terrible lie she'd got caught in and the realization that Peter lost the internship. Of course, she thought, he would lose it too, along with his suit. It only made sense, and Marin cursed herself for not thinking of it before. "But he still might be there, and I'm worried. Are you guys busy? Would you mind if I stopped by to take a quick look?"

"Sorry, kid, moving day's today, and we can't have any more teenagers running around with all this dangerous stuff out."

"Moving? Moving where? And what stuff?"

"Upstate—does Peter tell you anything? And what we're moving is classified, I'm afraid."

Marin laughed. She didn't expect Happy to let her, but she was getting all the information she needed. "Oh, okay. Thanks anyway."

"No problem, kid. Hope he turns up." Happy said. "Hey, be careful with that! That suit costs more than you and I combined!"

Marin heard him say the last part before he hung up. Slumping into a nearby chair, Marin grabbed the paper and jotted down everything she knew.

After a minute of staring down at her notes, her eyes went wide. "Oh, shit." She muttered to herself, grabbing the paper and running off to find Lucy.

+++

"So... you think he's gonna steal from Stark?"

"Think about it—remember how I said that the Vulture guy was more likely to keep dealing than stay low? This is the perfect opportunity for him, Lucy. All of this expensive, high-quality tech in one place, practically begging to be stolen by just the guy crazy enough to even attempt it. He did it before, in Maryland, and he's desperate. He's gonna make one final big move, and this is it."

"That... makes a lot of sense, to be honest." Lucy conceded with a grimace, and James looked ready to concur.

"I know." Marin panted, running a nervous hand through her hair. "Now I just gotta warn—"

"Marin, Lucy, and James—see me in my office, now." Demanded Charles' voice. The three mutants exchanged a similar, panicked look.

"Nuts."

+++

Marin frantically watched the sunset through Charles' office window. Homecoming would be starting only a couple hours from then, which also meant that so was moving day.

"What the hell were you three thinking!" Logan hollered at them. "Stealing the jet in the middle of the night and taking off to god-knows-where—"

"Queens," Marin interjected.

"I don't care!" He snapped. "And you two!" He addressed Lucy and James. Lucy looked slightly bored, while James did have the decency to look ashamed. "I can see this one pulling a stupid stunt like this, but you two know better than to stoop to her level."

Marin frowned deeply. "Hey!" Logan glared at her, and she cowed back.

"You three were extremely reckless and irresponsible, not to mention putting yourselves at risk by traveling unaccompanied." Charles shook his head at them, his forehead creased with disappointment. "What do you have to say for yourselves?"

"I was fixing a mistake that you made, Professor." Marin leveled a look at the man, whose eyes widened at her tones. She figured that if there was ever a time to take one final stand, it was now, and she might as well go all-out. That, and she was buzzing with adrenaline, making her braver than she really was. "My friend was told your lie about my past, and I had to go and explain to him why you were wrong about me killing my parents."

Marin took a deep breath. "You all might as well know that my father drowned my mother, and committed suicide by electrocution. Just so we're all being clear, here." Charles' face softened with sympathy. She found that it was much easier to say now that she'd already told Peter, even if the words burned her throat on the way out. "I went to Queens to tell Spider-Man my story and to right your wrongs, as well as right my own. Lucy and James were kind enough to join me, but they are not responsible for my decision in any way. I would've gone with or without them, but I'm grateful that they wanted to help me still." She sent them a quick smile.

"But my friends in Queens are in danger—those weapon dealers are planning a heist to infiltrate the transportation of extremely valuable and dangerous item to the new Avengers headquarters upstate." She explained, but Charles's frown returned.

"That is unfortunate, Marin, but it is not our responsibility to stop them."

"You're wrong, Professor." Marin crossed her arms. "It is my responsibility to help my friend, to help Spider-Man stop this guy from making dangerous weapons and selling them to people on the streets. I will not let him go alone, not when I know for certain that I can help." She stared him down, tilting her chin up defiantly. "No matter what you say, I will go help him. You'd have to knock me out and chain me up to stop me. And I can assure you, it won't be easy—or clean."

Charles stared at her wearily as he considered her claims. "All right."

Marin blinked. "All right?"

He nodded. "Yes, all right. I admit that I'm growing a bit fond of this steadfast side of yours—even if the delivery was slightly disrespectful."

Marin smiled sheepishly. "Sorry,"

"You may go help your friend, but it will be up to Lucy and James to decide whether or not they want to accompany you on your mission, and to what extent. You are apparently capable of piloting the jet by yourselves. If you must do this, Marin, that is fine, but I will not jeopardize the lives of any unwilling participants. This mission is yours and yours alone."

Marin sat up straighter. "I've got this in the bag, Charles."

+++

Marin, James, and Lucy were on the jet, speeding towards Queens when a call came through. A face popped up on the jet's screen, and Marin was relieved to see that it belonged to Ned.

"Marin!" He cried, looking exasperated. "Thank god you picked up, Happy hung up on me right away, and—"

"Ned, what's wrong?" Marin interrupted his rambling. Ned was wearing an earpiece, and his bowtie was undone, hanging around the collar of his blue dress shirt.

"It's the Vulture! He's—"

"—hijacking the Tower's transport, I figured it out!" Marin nodded.

"We know! And he's also Liz's dad!" Ned pressed, typing away frantically at a keyboard out of Marin's line of sight. Her eyes widened dramatically.

"What?!" Marin shrieked, causing James and Lucy to flick their gazes to her nervously.

"Yeah! Peter's going after him right now—stole Flash's car and everything!"

So much for keeping Peter's identity a secret. "Ned, that's great, but where is he?" Marin jostled on her feet as she clutched to the backs of Lucy and James' chairs for balance. "Send us the location, we're almost near Queens!"

"Toomes is at an old industrial building in Brooklyn—tenth and forty-third avenue." Ned informed them. "You'd better hurry, Peter got there a couple minutes ago."

Marin nodded, and James plugged in the new location. "We'll be there soon!" And with that, she terminated the call. Glancing at the map, Marin noted that they were just flying over Manhattan. "Get me in low—I'm gonna jump."

James nodded, beginning the sequence to open the jet's ramp.

"Where do you want us to meet?" Lucy asked, maneuvering the yoke so that the jet was skimming the water of the East River. Marin summoned her energy, the jet bathed in a blue glow.

"I'll call for you," She steadied her feet, preparing to jump. "I can take it from here. Thanks for your help, guys."

Marin never thought she'd ever be able to jump out of a moving plane, but feeling the comfortable embrace of the blue energy support her, she soared confidently through the air.

She caught sight of the warehouse, and even from that distance, Marin could distinctly hear the crashes of metal on cement coming from inside the building.

She watched in horror as the front side of the warehouse collapsed, concrete chunks of the walls and roof raining down on top of Peter.

"No!" Marin cried, landing to the side of the warehouse roughly. The Vulture appeared from out of the alley on the other side, looking extremely pleased with himself. Then he looked in Marin's direction, and she darted to hide behind a large pile of debris before he could notice her presence. She would have plenty of opportunities to take him down later—but now, she had to get Peter to safety.

She didn't move until she heard the mechanical swooping of Toomes' wings fade into the distance. Moving around the rubble, Marin heard Peter's grunts and cries for help.

"Hello?!" He called out, desperate and in pain. "Hello!" Marin's heart cracked. "Please, hey! Hey, please, I'm down here—I'm down here! I'm stuck, I'm stuck—I can't move! I can't—!" He sobbed, breaking off with a series of heavily panting breaths.

For some reason, Marin couldn't move. She couldn't speak—her throat was contracting around her tongue, and her mouth refused to open. A memory flashed through her head, something that Peter had said the night before: I'm not Spider-Man without that suit. All I am is a stupid teenager who can climb walls and flip around. I'm no one if I'm not Spider-Man.

You're not no one—you're Peter Parker, she'd responded. Standing there, listening to Peter desperate calls for help, something clicked inside her.

Marin had wanted to be a hero since she was six and watched as her mother died, helpless, in the hands of her husband—Marin had wanted to be a superhero since she was twelve and watched a group of the bravest people she'd ever seen fight to save the world from an army of aliens. All she'd ever wanted was to save people when they couldn't save themselves.

And yet, she couldn't help Peter. But it was because she knew him, even after just two weeks, she knew the kid from Queens—the nerd, the hero, the selflessly kind boy who just didn't believe in himself. But she believed in him. She knew that he didn't need that suit to be Spider-Man, the superhero. She was beginning to realize that sometimes, you are the only person that can save yourself.

"Come on, Peter." He was chanting, bringing Marin out of her thoughts. "Come on, Spider-Man. Come on, Spider-Man. Come on, Spider-Man. Come on, Spider-Man!"

She watched in awe as the rubble shifted, and Peter's body emerged. He saved himself.

"Peter!" Her voice returned, and she sprinted to help him escape the concrete. Peter fell into her, leaning heavily against her. "Oh Peter," Marin supported his weight as best as she could while he fought to catch his breath. "You're okay... you're safe now."

His breathing wobbled, but he wasn't crying. He lifted himself from her arms and bent to retrieve the mask that was lying in a small puddle of water. Reaching to touch it, Marin drew out all of the water soaking in the fibers like she did the night he fell into the lake and pushed the mask back to him.

Peter looked like he was about to say something, but she saw something else had caught his eye. Looking above her head, Marin turned to follow his gaze.

It was Toomes, perched on top of a nearby billboard, watching the sky.

"C'mon," Peter pulled his mask back on, as Toomes prepared for takeoff. "You can still fly, right?"

Marin nodded, calling the energy forward. "I'll be right behind you."

Peter took off sprinting to catch Toomes before he launched. He vaulted onto the billboard, taking a running start and attaching a web to the Vulture's wings. In the distance, Marin noticed a large plane emerge from the Stark Tower, and once in the air, the panels changed to reflect the clouds above it. She recognized the technology as similar to the kind installed in the Institute's jet.

Marin didn't want the Vulture to spot her—which could have been easy, as even donned completely in jeans, a shirt, and jacket, she still glowed bright enough to catch someone's eye.

She kept far out of Toomes' possible peripherals, watching as Spider-Man flailed in the air behind him. The Vulture tilted and rocketed straight upwards, disappearing through a dense layer of clouds.

"Nuts," Marin muttered to herself, pushing her body faster.

A voice crackled to life in her ear. "Marin!" It was Lucy. "What's the update?"

"Spider-Man and Vulture are catching a flight, and I'm chasing after them."

"What?!"

"Bad guy's hijacking the Tower's camouflaged plane and we're going to stop him!" Marin huffed, growing impatient. Lucy said something, but Marin wasn't listening. She broke through the clouds and saw Toomes' wings sealing themselves to the bottom of the jet, Spider-Man clinging on behind him.

Now that she didn't have to worry about Toomes seeing her, she flew as fast as she could to catch up to Peter, who looked like he was struggling to stay stuck to the plane's exterior. He tried shooting a web forward, but the wind pushed it back. He lost his grip and momentarily went flying, but Marin pushed his body back onto the plane.

"Need a hand?" Marin shouted to Peter over the wind.

"I got it!" Hand moving over hand, Peter crawled his way to the wings.

Suddenly, Marin felt her head go fuzzy, her eyes blurring dangerously. The blue surrounding her faded ever so slightly, causing Marin to drop a few feet in the air.

"Marin!" Peter yelled to her, at the same time as a small drone popped out of the Vulture's wings. "You good?!"

"Yeah!" Marin shook her head, trying to snap out of the daze she was in. She found it incredible her powers had lasted this long already, but she felt herself beginning to lose control. They needed to stop the Vulture soon.

She heard Peter groan as he tried to pry the wings from the plane, and she floated over to help him. Changing tactics, Peter began kicking at the wings, until they finally jolted out of place. Over the rush of the wind, Marin heard a faint alarm sounding from inside the plane. Looking back, she saw Peter's hand braced on the plane's camera—the one that recorded the view of the exterior as a template for the cloaking technology.

"Peter!" Marin shouted, throwing a hand out to warn him. "The camera! He knows we're here!"

"What—" Suddenly, the wings fell out from underneath the plane, and Marin noticed the glowing green points that told her Toomes had attached himself to his wings again. Nuts.

Peter lost his footing, holding onto the plane with just his hands. Once he got his feet back on the metal, he crawled up the side of the plane. "Just a typical homecoming—ergh!—on the outside of an invisible jet—agh!—fighting my girlfriend's dad!"

Marin's eyes went wide. "'Girlfriend'?!"

"Duck!" Peter screamed, ignoring her protest. Marin dropped in the air just in time for the Vulture to soar right above her, the tip of his wing scraping alongside the panels of the jet where Peter's head used to be a second ago.

As he tried to fly away, Peter attached a web to Toomes, and then one to the plane, stopping him in midair. Then, both webs snapped and Peter flew right toward the engine.

"Peter!" Marin hurried to catch him as he shot web fluid into the turbine and keeping the motor from chewing him up.

"I can't believe that worked!" He cried hysterically, but the propeller dislodged from the shell, sending Peter flying back with it.

Moving instinctively, Marin reached out with her hands, and grabbed the propeller with a blanket of energy, suspending it in the air beside the wing.

"Whoa!" Peter exclaimed. "I didn't know you could do that!"

"Neither did I!" Marin's shout trembled from the exertion, her arms wobbling as she tried desperately to keep the engine in her grasp. Once Peter had climbed onto the wing, Marin released the energy trapping the propeller. They moved together to the top of the plane.

Glancing back, Marin saw the Vulture flying straight at them. "Behind you!"

They dropped to the plane, narrowly avoiding him. But Peter rolled, near the remaining engine that was now caught on fire.

Marin moved toward Peter, only to be clipped on the arm by Vulture's metal talons. She shrieked in pain, losing her grip on her energy. She briefly flew back but was caught by Peter's web on her good arm.

The Vulture jumped his was to Peter, his wings surrounding him like an impending omen of death. Marin got a hold of her powers again, lashing out at the Vulture with a bright blue burst of energy. He easily dodged it, attacking the web that held Spider-Man to the plane. Peter flew back, but Marin caught him.

Toomes seemed to realize that they were too stubborn to let him win and instead abandoned them to hack at the top of the plane. "I'm not going home empty-handed!" She heard him holler.

Marin suddenly realized that the plane was dropping in altitude. "Oh, my god!" Peter cried out next to her, and following his gaze, Marin gasped. The plane had broken through the clouds, giving her a view of the city they were plummeting toward.

Peter shot a web at the right wing and Marin crouched onto the exterior, forming a sheet up energy underneath the belly of the plane. Spider-Man pulled up on the web as hard as he could, aiming the nose of the plane toward the Atlantic, and away from Staten Island. Marin screamed with the effort of keeping the jet as level as she could, and watched as they approached Coney Island.

Peter's web snapped, and Marin felt the energy drain from her. Unfortunately, this also meant that she lost her ability to fly, sending her slamming back into the side of one of the engines. "No!" Peter called, and grabbed her hand with a web from his left wrist, as he held onto the plane with his right.

The beach grew closer and closer, and the plane jerked as the right wing hit one of the rides and crashed into the sand. Marin and Peter screamed as they were tossed through the air, trying desperately to cling onto the plane.

With a mighty snap, Peter lost his grip on the wing as the web holding Marin broke, hurling them right into the sand, and they tumbled violently down the length of the beach.

The red and orange glow of fire was the last thing Marin saw before her vision went completely black.

taglist

@dark-night-sky-99​ @pushmeinablackhole​ @demi-starzak​ @-thatgirloverthere-​  @yourwonderbelle @silver-winter-wolf

[t-underneaththeradardancing]

its darker than it looks - prob could get a better shot - later - if i remember - i rather gaze than shoot - have gone out specifically to shoot the moon and forgot while  eye view  

im not a photographer  true 

maybe imma shaolin stylin yah like a gung fu carradine  - a virtual grasshopper not dennis but old af  - flux siri i said flux   - this iz reel deal scene 

i think but then again 

i been told im a wee bit uh 

delusional? 

i could method man an absent minded professor while my hare duz an einstein  - while doin back flips -  there t   thats the delusional  and no ur not a fading rawk star either despite the 30 made a couple weeks ago  - not even a has been  lol  there never were the glory days not even minutes  - wait there wuz a set in front of a thousand ppl and they danced and applauded like hippies - t that wuz awmost 50 fukken yrs ago and as i remember you wuz last billed playing a benefit for peace in a street dance that you proposed - provided the equipment for and some promoter took over  - fuck u creeping dementia or exhaustion or meds my memory is fine - mostly - tho reminders daily of exactly - how old af i am  lol    we lol a lot lately sending frog emoji freely fairly frequent - oh yay  - its tomorrow - frog friday  - except for a paucity - of - uh - froggies in my drafts  - im ahead of the game and there r sure 2 b many in the morning  - feel free to freak freely - no - i meant - to hop on board like a love train meeting peace frog  

do u talk w your oh appliances for instance - do some have personalities  - peculiarities  - some are just plain quirky - my kettle for instance - spits burps and flips its lid literally  - sometimes i beg them to work cuz they tek and ....if u cant finish that line i dont know y i even bother  - this is interactive as fuck if u dont real eyes  - well thats some thing  - did i post chet faker  - i will check but 

u sposed to laff - throw stuff at ur screen - close ur paptop in diss gust - dance - sing along to the songs ffs  - write graffiti  ( t - u lucky anybody reeds u atol and no u aint that clever )  watever 

its later the sky is darker - the moon brighter  - gotta make some dinner but 1st the unpoet chops the garlic - chopping garlic still painful af go figure  - i think imma pome a couple fragments like an alternative reality  - the last time truman capote was in sf  - committing grievious insult to the brain - he was drinking at the kokpit and no it wuz not an airplane themed pilot bar lol  - now why tf does that pop in my head while cooking dinner - gawd i hopez frogs rnt prudish  - r they - no - prudent maybe except when it comes to eating - i wunder wat happen ifn i google - this gonna sit in drafts until at least midnite sister iggy get jiggy  so u dont hafta entertain urselves waiting  (newsflash t - ur uh poetry - is not published in real time w breathless readers hanging on and waiting for every wurd  - u r delusional )  - ok u aint gonna belief this - there is a website that has “everything u wanted to know about frog sex but were afraid to ask “ lol i aint afraid of no ghost  - hmm false advertising or they post fax sequentially as discovered - so latest is a new position for frog sex discovered   https://daily.jstor.org/everything-you-ever-wanted-to-know-about-frog-sex-but-were-afraid-to-ask/      i let u read urself  but i think it answer question - i mean prudish frogs wouldnt find new positions after all theses years - would they 

discuss cuz my mind is empty  - ooooooo zen af   lol    btw paptop wuz a typo witch made the poem better  - do u know @potato  - funny af yo

lets talk about my kitty :) a good one i love her so much 

yay its after midnight or 2morrow or frog friday  the 13th   its ok im not a mason 

thats nightz templar t   u always think its perry mason guilty    anyway on a fri 13 in the oh lets say middle ages cuz lazy af and too tired to look up - the pope idk which one - btw the church owed plenty $$$ to templars and templars may have had some dirt on the church or pope - so they rounded up and tortured or deaded - a few escaped - but the mass country wide - france i think it was - round up of templars was onnna fri 13   

was that a fun fact or a tangent  - r tangents tangy - remember tang the space drink  - the jetsons were only on 1 season i liked the theme song 

still a dish or 2  - more like a sink full  - i should b doing laundry 

insted hedfonz el vy  a quick text 

duckling teenz accounted for  - yah nightly cuz they dont want me to worry sleepless  - which i dont do usual  - and we wish each other good night and good morning often usually daily - and omg emojis - is this thing gonna work out  - yah in some form or fashion w input varied - might need another partner - one who work for 0 $ lol  - tho commissions and sales and we barely start marketing those should increase - and our web site unfinished but there are a couple good reasons  

sorry if u only reading cuz of froggies and wonder if t ever gonna stfu 

laterz 

love 

[saleintothe90s]

384. “Mad About You” series finale (5/24/1999)

(source)

So, I remember watching the series finale of Mad About You that night, but I haven’t watched it again since it originally aired. I do remember feeling let down at the end however. This is what I remember from 20 years ago, maybe I’ll remember some forgotten details once I re watch it...which I will after I make this list: 

- Janeane Garofolo was Paul & Jamie’s daughter Mabel all grown up and she had come out with a documentary about her life? Her dad’s life? The film was everything after 1999?

-Paul & Jamie bought the apartment across from them and merged it into theirs? Which didn’t make any sense. Everybody had to walk through P&J’s bedroom to get to the expansion?

-Paul & Jamie were pregnant again with twins but she lost the babies? I just remember the scene where Paul rushes into the apartment with a double stroller excited that he found one. He sees the message light on the answering machine and it’s Jamie. I was trying to figure out if this was early on when Mabel was still a one year old, and one seat in the stroller was for her, or Jamie was pregnant with twins. 

-Paul’s dad died real early on in the episode. 

-Paul and Jamie wonder who should give her the birds and the bees talk when Mabel is a teenager, but turns out they waited too long. When Paul sits down with her to discuss it, she interrupts him and says that she’s already had sex, or she was already on the pill. Paul decides to take Mabel out for bagels every Saturday morning so he can remain closer to her. I just remember them eating bagels and sitting on a stoop. 

- Paul and Jamie separate for realz this time. Remember when they temporarily separated but then got back together and Jamie got pregnant with Mabel?  

[That episode is titled “The Finale”, please don’t confuse it for this one like I almost did. In case you’re wondering about my bitmoji dressed like a snail, our power went on and off the entire time I was writing this. I went ahead and used that save video me website so I could watch the clips offline.] 

- Jamie had become really cold at that point in her life and Paul had it. 

-The last scene was everybody watching Mabel’s documentary in a movie theater and P&J were a little embarrassed. Paul (almost crying) asks Jamie if she would like to go out for pie.

-Clearly they hadn’t shot enough because the last five minutes were “home movies” of the two and Mabel in central park. The montage seemed to last for-ever. 

-Before I re-watch, I also wanted to mention that I hate the theme song! 

I found the episode on DailyMotion, and the username of the uploader is “Magic School Bus” ... ms. frizzle is that you?  It also appears that Ms. Frizzle recorded this episode from syndication, so there might be a tiny scene or two missing. 

(part 1, part 2)

(Apparently it’s on the internet archive too, but it took forever to get the vid to play on my iPad. It has commercials though!) https://archive.org/details/MelrosePlaceHomeImprovementFinales1999 

So, Mabel’s film was titled “The reason why I am this way”. Maybe a grad school project?. Janeane looks grad school age here. 

The film starts with Paul & Jamie’s anniversary when Mabel was 1 in 1999. I was right!

A bird pooped on Paul! Nah, it was just Lyle Lovett the construction worker spilling paint. He married Jamie n Paul 7 years ago, but turns out he’s NOT an ordained minster, so they’re not officially married.  This is so dumb. Such a trope, right? 

Jamie is freaking out that they’re not really husband and wife. Paul is the rational one here, he says just go to city hall next week! Jamie is all “no, we gotta do it today, its our anniversary!”  So they go, there’s a chapel at city hall, there’s a lady named Phyllis there as a witness and who throws rice (25¢ a throw!)  

Stupidly, however, Jamie runs away. I do remember this freeze frame from the episode.

There’s lots of jumping around through time while all this is going on, I forgot about that, I just thought it was a straight up timeline.

We jump to 2005 where P&J are in therapy for the thousandth time, also when Paul goes in for a vasectomy. At first, I didn’t realize that Jamie was talking to her sister, Lisa in the waiting room since she had short hair. Jamie tries to explain to her that Mabel doesn’t need a sister, but Lisa guilt trips her. Jamie tells Paul that she thinks they made a mistake. They Michael Scott-eded it:

It’s 2011 and P&J are trying to give 11 year old Mabel the sex talk.

In 2004 Murray (remember, the dog? Yeah, the dog got forgotten somewhere in the series) got a girlfriend and they had puppies!  There is the best scene ever where Paul teaches Mabel how to shoot video and Nat the dog walker (played by Helen Hunt’s then husband, Hank Azaria) does a play talk show with the puppies. IT’S TOO CUTE, I put it on instagram. I forgot that Hank was on the show. I still remember how heartbroken I was though when Hank and Helen broke up, though.

There’s a real quick scene in the sports shop that Paul’s family owns (which I forgot about in the series). Jeff Garlin (who I like to call “Daddy Goldberg” since I love him on The Goldbergs) is teasing Paul for all his vasectomies. blah blah. You know what I noticed? That old Sketchers shoebox! Those ugly chunky metallic shoes they made in ’95 ’96 used to come in those boxes.  aw. ugliest shoes I ever had, they were most def. Airwalk Jim knockoffs. ANYWAY.

Mabel’s first film “Stabbing Bob” comes out in late 2021 when she’s 23. The whole family is there, including Cyndi Lauper who married Paul’s brother  cousin Ira. The whole family tries to get Paul and Jamie to sit together, so obviously something went DOWN between 2011 and 2021. This is when the syndicated version cuts off.

Part 2 begins again with Mabel’s documentary and her asking “Who do you think was responsible for my parents breakup? The one who ran away from the altar and changed her mind three times about whether or not her partner should have painful private surgery … or the other guy?” So when this film was made, Jamie and Paul were still broken up? Mabel is really tearing Jamie up a new one here. Jamie is the devil.

Back to 2005 and Jamie is pregnant, because Paul didn’t get that vasectomy. This is where everything is back on track with my memories of the episode. Except for those ugly ass pajamas. wow. Jamie is only supposed to be 42 here, the pajamas and glasses made her look 60.

2012, Mabel is 14 and she never did get that sex talk…perfect tribute to Whitney though, considering she had recently died.

Oh, no here comes the stroller scene in 2006. Paul is so happy, he says, “I found it! Last one in the city, and I found it! One big seat one little seat! 2 kids, one carriage! One big happy family. ” Uh, Mabel is 9.  The “one big seat, one little seat!”  makes me wonder if the writers forgot what year it was? Why would there be a big seat and a little seat?” Twins are the same size.  Those stroller seats look the same size. Paul finds a note left by Jamie, so it wasn’t an answering machine message.

In early 2021 we see Jamie’s bff Fran, FINALLY. I was wondering where Fran was! She was married to Richard Kind and he left her so he could ride motorcycles like “Easy Rider”, (remember when Fran kept calling the movie “The Easy Rider” and it drove Richard crazy, he was like, “the name of the movie is EASY RIDER, NOT ‘THE EASY RIDER!”). Riffs is somehow still open, martini glasses are taller, forks have clear spiral handles, and Fran be looking like something that walked off the Enterprise.  

Oh, and Paul left Jamie. Jamie now is wearing reading glasses around her neck. Oh, honey noo, you’re only 58.  Here is Helen Hunt in 2018:

Paul said that Jamie is unkind and that was why he was leaving.  

Aw, there’s my fozzie bear!

Costume and Makeup got Paul Reiser exactly right though!

After that, Paul & Jamie had to be straight with Mabel at all times. Ok, whatever:

 So I was also wrong about Paul’s died dying when Mabel was little.

On the way to the funeral, Paul’s mom encourages the two to pay a bribe so they can buy the apartment across the hall. She says, “Then Mabel can have a room.” …. Mabel didn’t have a room? She was 13 in the Murray’s not real scene. Where did she sleep?!  Now I remember thinking way back then that the episode left a lot of plot holes open, this being one!

I remember feeling kind of turned off by this elevator scene with the sad music after the funeral. I didn’t know the phrase back then, but now I know that it feels so forced. We get it. Paul’s mom is alone.

Casting didn’t do a good job with teenage Mabel, she’s supposed to be 18 in 2015 and it’s still the girl who played her when she was 12. w2g. I didn’t make a screen grab but I was right about Mabel having to cross her parents bedroom, and bathroom to get to her room. I was also right about the bagels! 

It’s back to the scene in late 2021 where everybody is watching the end of Mabel’s movie, “Stabbing Bob”.  I guess she was trying to be a lil Tarintino. Why did I think they were watching the documentary? Ha, at the end, Paul’s sister asks the family if they want to go out for pie. Yesss, the pie scene!

I did remember this from the pilot episode where Jamie kisses Paul on their first date when he turns to her. Jamie asks “buy me some pie?”, not Paul! I swore for 20 years I heard Paul Reiser tearfully saying, “I would like some pie” in my head!

Oh, one plot point that did get patched up was that Paul & Jamie asked the guy from city hall to come over and marry them in their apartment six seconds to midnight.

RIP, Murray the dog.

UGH, I was right about the long montage of the end that is just pretend home movies of the cast. It’s nearly four minutes long, and its set to country music. It’s hell.  I remember actually leaving the room during this part 20 years ago instead of just you know, muting the TV. It completely ruins the quietness of the episode. It’s total filler.

The ending credits are on Youtube, it’s adult Mabel giving a rundown of what happened to who.

Related:

More from the series finale series: https://saleintothe90s.tumblr.com/search/Series%20finale%20series

/edit/

I was curious and went hunting around in google groups (which houses newsgroup archives) to see what people said about it online right after it aired: 

Someone wondered too about where on earth Mabel slept until they expanded the apartment: 

>2)  Where did Mabel sleep before they got the second apartment and >turned it into a room? Shared with mommy and daddy?? Or maybe that little space before the bedroom.  Did they convert the appartments into one or move to the other side? I was a bit confused about that.

>>I wish I had watched Ally (but that's just my

>opinion).<<

Trust me, if you've watched the show at all this season, you've seen this episode.  Ally is depressed about no man, elaine whips out the video camera, the biscuit bobs his head to Barry White, does a gymnastic dismount from the toilet stall, stutters like Porky Pig, and all of the same fucking things he does every single fucking episode.  I really liked this show at first, but I'm about to give up on it because the same shit happens week after week after week.  If David Kelley cannot think of anything new to do with this show, he should hire a writing team, because it it going nowhere fast!

Brian

To know that Paul and Jamie's genes resulted in that shrewish frump Janeane Garofalo was one thing.  But to be "previewed" twenty years of their misery resulting in Mabel's therapy for bad parenting was pretty unbearable.

Crap.  Not quite as crap as the Rosanne finale, but more crap than the last

Seinfeld episode. I knew they were in trouble in the very first scene where

they set up the premise for the episode. Lyle Lovett tells them that he

wasn't really an ordained minister when he performed their wedding ceremony

and that he was drunk when he said he was. (now there's an original plot)

One problem: Lyle isn't the one who told them he was a minister and everyone

was sober at the time.

Then they have Jannene Garofolo as their grown up daughter, recounting everything thing that went wrong in their marriage, another lame plot device.

There're also a few little slips, like Paul buying a double baby carriage in 2005, when their daughter would be 8 or so.

But, to get to the root of why the episode (and the last two seasons for that matter) failed: The whole permise of the show was that these two likable, but occasionally goofy or even stupid, people were so much in love that they would always be together no matter what. Corny, naive, romantic, but also endearing. It made for a nice, comforting 4 seasons or so, but after a while the formula gets old. So they started making the characters a lot less likeable. Paul Reiser turned into Homer Simpson and Helen Hunt became a neurotic version of Lucy Ricardo, until I had no idea why these two people were staying together.

They got back to the original idea of the series in the last ten minutes, but it was too little, too late. In the previous 50 minutes, their whole marriage went to hell. Not only didn't those two people belong together, they didn't even seem to care about each other. They did something similar a few years back (marriage goes wrong, they still love each other and stay together) but it was convincing and they didn't do the gimmicky jumping back and forth over 25 years thing. That was the perfect moment to end the series.

I agree. I watched with the series finale of MAY with the morbid fascination that I would have while watching a car wreck.  I didn’t *want* to do it, but I was drawn to it.  And what a car wreck it was.

The plot of the finale should have insulted every thinking person.  Did anyone accept the premise that two sophisticated New Yorkers could believe they were legally married without having a marriage license and certificate?  For those of you who have never been married, you absolutely need such documentation for your bank accounts, health insurance, social security, credit cards, mortgages etc.   The retroactive vitiation of the Buchman’s marriage is akin to the Bobby’s dream sequence on Dallas a few years ago.

Jaime’s jilting of Paul at the “altar” was vapid.  Tim Conway’s gag in being both the marriage clerk and the justice of the peace was predictable, and as predictably stupid as Conway’s similar gags on the now ancient Carol Burnett show.  The pronunciation of “Buchman” to explain why Paul and Jaime had the same last name may have been amusing to a ten year old, but I doubt it was funny to anyone more mature.  A justice of the peace would not play the wedding march with a dime store cassette recorder while demanding that a prospective bride walk down the courtroom “aisle.”  Couldn’t they have done something interesting with the marriage witness instead of using a stock character such as the disinterested, magazine-reading rice-thrower?  From a legal standpoint, Paul and Jaime’s marriage at midnight was as ineffective as “first” marriage because there was no witness (contrary to the dialogue, a baby simply cannot be a legal witness to a marriage).  Why would a justice of the peace make a house call to perform a civil marriage?

The whole vasectomy gag was asinine.  Have either HH or PR been in a hosptial?  Did they do *any* research before they wrote this gag?  Its pretty safe to conclude that a surgical nurse would *not* lead a post- operative vasectomy patient through a waiting room while he was wearing nothing but a robe.  Moreover, given Paul’s obvious pain from the first vasectomy, don’t you think that Jaime would have known that Paul did not go through with the second one?  Wouldn’t Jaime have asked Paul if he went through with the vasectomy before she purchased and used a pregnancy test kit?  Jaime’s miscarriage was telegraphed from the beginning of the vasectomy gag.

The makeup aging of the characters was amateurish at best.  The sex talk difficulty with Mabel has been done by every sitcom since Leave It To Beaver, and most have done it better.  What was the point of the puppy urination scene?

The breakup and reconciliation was sentimental tripe.  In the real world, people that fight as much as Paul and Jaime do not get divorced and then, with one magic kiss, make everything OK.

Was it necessary to introduce a new character in the finale to narrate the Buchmans’ life story? (As an aside, I hated the casting of Janeane Garofolo (sp?).  She looked like complete crap.  Can’t that woman ever look presentable?  Someone should have given her a mirror and a comb before they began filming the episode.  She is a second rate Roseanne knock off, and, judging from last night’s appearance, she is now attempting to catch Roseanne in the weight department as well.)

The closing montage attempted to simulate a home movie circa 1960s such as that used in the Wonder Years.  But why would Paul and Jaime, a 1990s couple, have used such a medium for their home movies?  Also, even assuming the choice of medium was justified, why did they wave in quick, jerky movements at the movie camera?  Has anyone done that since the 1960s?

In the end analysis, the MAY finale was incredibly lame.  I got home in time to catch the end of the Melrose Place finale, and, IMO, even that show -- as bad as it is -- has more entertainment value than MAY.  At least they don’t take themselves seriously.  I am delighted that MAY is now over.  I hope that the poor ratings associated with the show will cause some retooling at NBC, especially in its high profile slots.

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[kamen-rider-fanatic]

With the impending doom of Tumblr fucking up again, He knows what he must do, He must call out to his brethren from beyond the dimensions. The man making the call? Norville Rogers, Shaggy as you know him.

“Like, I’ve got to focus, and send my message across the Shag-Multiverse.”

“Like, Can anyone here me? Come in?

*Meanwhile in another universe”

“What was that? What, that sound, that voice, and Like this sensation, is that you Green Shaggy?”

“Like which one are you man?”

“I’m the Red Shirt Shaggy from the 1980′s, I’m currently leaving a mansion I inherited to check out this Finishing School. Like why have you contacted me?”

“Like man, Tumblr needs our help, it’s falling to shit man, and we need to ban together to stop this fuckery before it’s too late.”

“Like it’s that serious huh, very well, I shall aid you, but this may be bigger than we thought, Quick, send you telepathic signal to me, and I will pass it through the other Shag-Verses and rally other Shaggy’s to our side.”

*Red Shirt Shaggy feels the telepathic signal form Green Shaggy, he quickly sends the message across the Shag-Verse and hopes for the best*

“Like that’s done. Now hopefully the other Shag’s hear our message for help. But no time for questioning, Scoob, We gotta a mission, we’ve got to save Tumblr, let’s go man!”

*Wasting no time, Red Shaggy launches himself through space and time, Heading to 2018 to help Tumblr. Meanwhile, other Shaggy;s begin to hear the call.*

*The old west, 1900*

“Like Scooby ol’ partner ol’ friend, ol’ buckaroo, Sounds like our other selves need some help with this Tum Blar? Like what in tarnation is a Tum Blar? Eh, it doesn't matter, point is, we got some work to do buckaroo.”

*Meanwhile in the 70′s, a meeting between four is about to end as this Shaggy must borrow a friends vehicle to jump time*

“Like batman, Can I borrow the Batmobile, it’s like important man. Somewhere someone needs my help, and Like I plan to do it.”

“Shaggy, your sudden heroism has touched me, Of course you may use the Batmobile, but where are you going.”

“Like to 2018 Batman.”

*Batman is shocked but understanding, Robin however..*

“Holy time travel Batman, he can’t be serious.”

“Now boy wonder, I’m sure Shaggy is telling the truth, Good luck Shaggy, I hope it goes well for you.”

*In another universe*

“Like we forget the vampire Scoob, We’ll just come back another time, Right now the Future of Tumblr needs us. 

*Shaggy points the stake at his former target*

“Like we’ll be back for you man.”

*Meanwhile in another universe and 20,000 feet in the air, A pilot Shaggy is preparing to make the jump, but it’s all about to be interrupted by an unwanted presence.*

“Like Zoinks!!! It’s the Space Cook!!! 

The Space Cook let’s out a cackle. 

“Like Tumblr has to wait, we have our own problems at the moment.”

*In another universe....again*

“Like that deal could’ve gone over much better Scooby-Doo, but we still have enough money for a new wardrobe, Maybe finally I can find something that looks less...shady. 

*Suddenly, the shady looking shaggy hears the call of his brothers*

“Zoinks, Scooby, Like man, we gotta jump time again, the future needs us.”

*In another unknown timeline*

*Transylvania, 1600*

“Like, It seems that my Brothers need my help, Very well, They shall see what the crown prince of darkness, Count Shagula can do.” 

*Meanwhile in the Edo era of Japan*

“Like we gotta hurry and deal with this guy Scooby- Doo, The others are going to like need us man.” 

*In another universe, in a cave, at some point in the 2010′s*

“Like these morons will get themselves killed without me. Man and just when I was about the like relax, Guess I better help them with the Tumblr problem.”

*In another universe just like our own and in the year 2000*

“Like I guess these guys could use some help, luckily, I’ve been training my whole life for this moment!”

*In another universe that just seem...odd*

“I guess these guys could use my help as well, Fine, Like I can lend them my Ultra Instinct for this fight I guess.”

*And finally the last universe*

“Scoob told me Jiren wouldn’t be too much of a problem, and he was right, I like, barley had to use any strength and he went down with one punch, But this tumblr, now this seems like a challenge. Like, I might even have to use my final form. But only time will tell man.”

*Back in the 60′s timeline*

“Like I feel it scooby, I can feel them all of them. all twelve of them, They’re here to help us and tumblr, I know we can do it, Quick, We gotta jump timelines and meet with Red Shaggy. Let’s go man.”

*Finally, the two lead Shag’s meet up in our timeline to help us*

“Like man, it is good to see you”

“Same to you man! But no time for talk, we gotta a website to save. Like the others should be joining us here soon”

:You’re right man, Like let’s go, let’s save Tumblr.”

*And so the two Shaggy’s rush into battle ready to fight for Tumblr*

...To be continued....Maybe....If I feel like it.

[the-amaryka]

Unpopular Opinion:  I enjoyed season 8

So first, I’m mostly doing this to sort out my own feelings, but I DO think there are some things worth considering here.

To be clear, Enjoying something and thinking that something was perfect are different.  I enjoy plenty of things that are garbage and I do think this season had it’s fair share of flaws, but it’s not nearly as awful as some of ya’ll are ripping into it over.  In addition, regardless of if it is bad or not harassment of the creators is never justified.  EVER.  So if you feel the need to take out your frustrations on the cast/crew stop what you are doing then DON’T.

Sorry in advance if you’re on mobile cuz this is a long one under the read more.

Why I was able to enjoy it:

Three major things I always keep in mind going into a new season:

1.  Don’t watch it FOR the ship, enjoy the show for what it is.  I think the primary thing that has allowed me to enjoy each season is I try to watch it without shipping goggles.  At the end of the day, shipping is fun but it is for fandom and not the reason I’m watching the show, especially a show made for 7 year old boys.  

2.  I (along with most of the fandom on this website) am not the target audience for this show.  Voltron may be an abnormally good kids show, but it is still a kids show.  I have never walked into a season thinking that it is content made for me, and the things that are important to me just aren’t important enough to 7 year olds to have the time I want spent on them.  I have to be okay with that because as much as I would love to have a whole episode of Shiro really struggling with what it means to be a leader, and the weight of Adam’s sacrifice, the 7 year old this show was made for is going to be bored shitless and decide “I don’t want that Voltron toy for my birthday after all.”  So yeah, that is going to change the choices the crew makes when they create these episodes.

3.  This is a reboot.  Several different companies have BIG stakes in Voltron.  Things like LGBT rep are only going to go as far as ONE important old white man who thinks (insert your fave here) is straight.  Anybody who has followed me for more than 3 seconds knows I ship Sheith, but knowing how the entertainment industry works changed how I thought the direction of the series was going from day one.  If it was so hard for them to get even ambiguous ‘Takashi, how much do I mean to you’ when both Shiro and Adam are legally original characters, there is NO WAY the powers that be will allow them to gay up big names in the franchise like Keith or Lance.  For that reason I never expected a canon gay relationship between any of the main characters.  No Sheith, no Klance, no Pallura, no Hance.  I do believe it was important to the creators and they did they absolute best with what they had, but ultimately it was not their decision and a lot of ya’ll need to stop acting like you are performing some kind of holy service by harassing them about it.  They did their jobs as best they could and the fandom was pressuring them the whole time to make promises they didn’t know if they could keep.

For these reasons I was able to enjoy the new season for what it was: a reboot aimed toward children that I shouldn’t expect a primary romantic plot out of.  And honestly?  Thats what I got.  The only big romantic plot revolved around Lance and Allura and even that was only a handful of scenes.  I think the main problem with this fandom has always been people putting unrealistic expectations on a show that wasn’t aimed at them.  Why people chose to put all of their expectation eggs in the Voltron basket specifically is beyond me, and frankly a bit unfair to the people who made it.  But we don’t have to get into that right now.

Things that I enjoyed:

1.  Hunk is best boy.  I loved his and Lance's friendship shining through and when he turned into team mom.  Some highlight include:  “It’s happening tonight, young man!” “I’m sorry I yelled at you.  I’ll make you dog treats later.”  When he made that Altean dessert because he is so sweet and knows how to bring people together.  What a star, what a diplomat, what a fine, fine man. 2.  BaBy LoToR 3.  Seeing all the paladins in their under armor.  I would feel robbed because Shiro was left out but the entire series has been Shiro fan service so I’m not even mad. 4.  VERONICA AND AXCA BONDING?  NICE.  Didn’t expect to ship them?  I do.  Nice. 5.  Everything about Day Fourty-Seven.  A filler episode I genuinely enjoyed.  MY only wish is we could have gotten Keith and Krolia in an interview together and she went out of her way to embarrass him like “while we were in the Quantum Abyss-” “Mom, why are you doing this to me?” “I have 20 years of Mothering to catch up on, young man.” 6.  Shiro feeling like a bad ass and looking cool during the arm wrestling competition.  What a good. 7.  This was really Allura’s season, wow, what a queen. 8.  Keith giving Lance a bunch of pep talks and opening up to become not only a good leader but a good friend. 9.  Keith YELLING at the Zarkon mech because he had leadership responsibility feels. 10.  I did not expect to have FEELINGS over seeing young Zarkon. 11.  Honerva’s motivations were honestly....so honest.  So realistically human, you know?  It seems so fitting that this whole thing began with a rift into another reality, and a broken family.  And it ended with a rift into another reality, and that family finally being able to be at peace.  That is the theme that has been following us form the beginning: family.  And even the final villain just wanted to fix the damage that had been done to hers.  Though I do feel like her turnaround was a little quick, I can forgive it for kinds show reasons. 12.  Allura getting to hug Alfor again. 13.  Lance getting the stamp of approval from the dad. 14.  Speaking of which, even I thought the Allurance scenes were pretty cute despite not being a huge fan of the ship. 15.  The character development that is evident.  If you compare all these characters to who they were in E1S1 they are all vastly different.  The only exception to this is Coran, though I do feel like Allura’s is mostly internal and she has a way of conducting herself that can make it difficult to perceive. 16.  I am VERY SAD about Allura dying...but you know what?  I think this ending actually suited her.  I don’t think she would be satisfied withotu making a grand reality wide sacrifice.  She restored Altea, and returned into the fabric of space-time itself with her family.  This has been being foreshadowed since Season 1 to be honest.  She is always taking risks and wanting to keep moving and bettering things.  She is perfect and we don’t deserve her and in my heart she is the goddess of reality itself. 17.  The scene where the lions all came to life and flew away, and then that lovely art of them going into the rift.  I really think they went back to Allura, and the next time the Universe needs Voltron, it will be her spirit leading the way.  And honestly?  I don’t think she would want it any other way. 18.  The MFE Pilots grew on me... 19.  MMMMMBIG ROBOT PRETTY 20.  We got Shiro and the rest of the paladins piloting all together again. 21.  ALMOST Galra Emperor Keith.

The things I didn’t think were great:

1.  What the fuck happened to Ezor’s voice?  She only said one word and I thought she was dying? 2.  Keith and Shiro like...didn’t even talk.  And even without shipping goggles that just seems wrong to me.  Their bond has been one of the points the story has turned on.  We got all the build up but none of the payoff.  No shoulder touches, no ‘I’m proud of you, Keith’, none of the usual friendship or dynamic they usually have with each other.  It felt kind of empty honestly :(  And whats more is...Keith has been sacrificing and fighting and loving Shiro for 7 seasons now, and Shiro never got to repay him.  Like he wasn’t in his hospital room when he woke up and nobody can fucking tell me when Shiro said “spend time with the people you love” Keith wouldn’t be spending time with Shiro.  It just....feels so dissatisfying to see one of the major emotional bonds in the show not even be acknowledged in the end.  It makes everything Keith worked for feel...not...there.  Like what did all that mean in the end?  As many times as it takes but he gives and gives and gives and the only one who returns what he gives is Krolia.  It used to be Shiro returned it too, but now...  Even without it being romantic, their relationship was done a dirty.  I didn’t need canon Sheith I just needed some kind of acknowledgement that all the suffering they endured was worth it.  I wanted to see them happy. 3.  Despite what I said above I am sad Allura is gone. 4.  Shiro was hardly in the season at all actually :((((((((((((((((((( 5.  Yeah, as cute as the scenes were I’ve never felt Allura and Lance have a chemistry that makes their relationship sit well with me.  But I guess it was necessary to show how Lance has matured as a person.  I always thought they have the POTENTIAL for chemistry but it’s always fallen short for me.  Allura just takes her life too seriously and her walls never actually came down enough for me to see a connection there. 6.  James and Keith never like...talked?  I would have liked for them to have had a reconciliation like Keith and Lance did. 7.  Lack of Krolia. 8.  Something was off about Kolivan’s voice 9.  TBH, I feel like The real fulfillment for Keith’s arc would have been his teammates encouraging and lifting him up as well.  Display his emotional availability which was completely closed off at the start.  I feel like they may have just dropped the ball on a couple of character’s arc resolution but...eh.  You gotta pick and choose what to focus on when you have an ensemble cast, and 7 year olds just aren’t always interested in that. 10.  Woulda been nice to get a bit more detail on the nature of the rift creatures and some more clarity for a through line from the beginning thousands of Years ago to now.  Along with that exactly what kind of entity IS Voltron itself?  A lot of seeds planted that made a half attempt at being resolved but weren’t quite clear enough to create something cohesive. 11.  I can’t put my finger on why but overall it just feels...Incomplete.  Like there is still a pit in my stomach that doesn’t feel satisfied by the ending.  I’m not sure how much of that is the season itself, and how much is I’ve been involved in this show for nearly 2 years and it’s hard to let go, especially on something that doesn’t quite feel like going out with a bang.

Highly unpopular opinion in my neck of the woods:

That wedding at the end?  I’m happy about it.  Do I think its bad writing to marry off one of your main five to a rando we don’t even know the name of?  Yes.  Am I annoyed that the fandom was SO awful and so accusatory toward the showrunners they felt the need to shoehorn in a last minute wedding because they honestly felt bad when the truth is this has always been a glorified ship war?  MEGA YES.  They shouldn’t have felt like they had to make this bad writing decision on the behalf of fans who have treated them and their efforts like shit.  Shame on the people who treated them this way.  They tried so FUCKING hard to give us something and ya’ll threw it away and called them evil.  I get how you feel but damn why don’t YOU try to make social change happen in the entertainment industry and see how well your LGBT paradise vision goes over when there are dozens of other people with a say.  (I could go on about how poorly that was handled on both ends, but that is another point altogether.)

More than anything, I’m happy that some 7 year old kid who LOVES the badass Captain Takashi Shirogane is going to see him get married on screen and kiss a MAN.  Like holy shit, that is HUGE.  Do I think it could have been written better?  Absolutely.  But This show wasn’t made for me it was made for the 7 year kid out there is going to think “Shiro kissed a boy, maybe I’m not weird for wanting to kiss boys” and THAT is what Representation in children’s media is all about.  I’m going to celebrate this and everything else related to Shiro’s LGBT status because what matters to me way more than ships or satisfying romantic arcs is maybe when my little nephew sees his favorite character is gay he will be a little more open and comfortable when I bring my girlfriend to family dinner.

I think it would do the fandom (especially the Sheith shippers) some good to step back, take off their shipping goggles, and recognize this for the stride in Children’s media that it is. That being said I’m gonna be reading and writing the fix-it fics along with the rest of you, because fandom and how I enjoy the show can be whatever I want.

The conclusion and why I still love Voltron:

You know what?  Yes I felt a little let down by the writing, but Voltron is one of the first fandoms I’ve been so involved in and I have had such wonderful experiences while enjoying this show.  I’m never going to let some dissatisfaction ruin this for me.  The nice thing about fandom, is I can enjoy my version of the show however I want it, and it doesn’t have to effect how I feel about canon at all.  And when I take off my fandom goggles, this season was actually pretty enjoyable.

I encourage anybody who has enjoyed the show up to this point to put your bitterness aside and do what you’ve been doing from the start.  Create some content, consume some content, ship what you want, and don’t you dare let anybody ruin this for you.  You have good memories with this show, keep them good and move froward.

Peace out my dudes, I’m gonna be hanging out in Sheith hell for at least another 6 months.

It was an honor flying with you all.

[missytearex]

Happy 1D fanworks appreciation day! I thought I would celebrate by sharing my ultimate favourites. So, in no particular order, here we go!

Vanguard by catholicschoolgirl | @catholicschoolgirl --- 40k, Zarry

“But you've been thinking about me,” Harry said. “You've been thinking about me, and now you know that I've been thinking about you. Since before we even met, I've wanted you.”

Zayn smiled wryly, feeling cynical all of a sudden. “And it's that easy?”

Harry nodded. “It should be. People try to make it hard, but I've gotta believe it's that easy. It's everything else about this damn world that's hard.”

This one absolutely destroyed me. It’s set in the 60′s during the Vietnam war. I was completely transported there. Do yourself a favour and have a listen to the fanmix as well. It really adds to the immersion.

there's no fair in farewell by we_are_the_same | @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed --- 218k, Larry

When Harry and Louis, two Cupids who have been bringing people together for decades, are tasked with making Soulmates Liam and Zayn fall in love, it proves to be much harder than expected. But maybe, just maybe, that isn’t such a bad thing after all.

This was the first WIP I’ve let myself read in years, and guys, it paid off! I have such a soft spot for it, as I was reading along while it was being posted. Take note that it is complete now! It’s just such an original story. I laughed, I cried, I yelled in capslock. Go read this right now, if you haven’t yet!

Under All Circumstances by lazy_daze | @dazy-laze --- 38k, OT5

When Liam decides to sign up for an online dating website, his main worry is how scary it is to finally have the chance to go out with a boy; he’s definitely not anticipating having to deal with the website glitch that sets him up on a blind date with not just one boy, but four at the same time.

Somehow, the date goes well – so well that the other four convince Liam that they all need to do it again, and for some crazy reason Liam agrees. Maybe it’s because he really likes these loud, ridiculous, frankly gorgeous boys.

But it’s stupid, isn’t it? No matter how good it feels, how much fun Liam has, and how lucky he feels that all these people want to kiss him – five people can’t all go out at the same time. Five-way relationships don’t happen, there’s no way they can all make this work. He’s sure of it.

I can’t emphasize enough how much I love this fic. It’s OT5 with feels, which is one of my favourite things ever, and there is not nearly enough of it in this world.

Walk That Mile by purpledaisy | @daisyharry --- 149k, Larry

Harry stares at him, the line of his jaw standing out scarily. “I wanted to get the most out of this trip so I planned it carefully.” His voice is low and steady and somehow that’s worse than when he was yelling. “So far, you’ve put your sticky fingers on everything I’ve tried to do.”

“Sticky fingers?” Louis repeats, offended. “Are you saying it’s my fault you got stung by a bee? Had you been alone you would have gotten halfway to the Dotty Diner and ran the car off the road because of an allergic reaction, so don’t go blaming me.”

“Polk-A-Dot Drive In,” Harry spits before getting out of the car. He slams the door shut with a deafening reverb and Louis rolls his eyes. - A Route 66 AU where falling in love was never part of the plan.

Larry roadtrip AU! I can only imagine how much research must have gone into writing something like this. Pair that with a brilliant writing style and amazing characterizations and, holy shit, you’ve got one incredible story!

Little Lion Man by Writcraft | @writsgrimmyblog --- 123k, Tomlinshaw

It’s his final year at Hogwarts, and Louis can’t wait to leave for good. He hates being in Gryffindor and he can’t even enjoy a smoke with the Slytherins now his best mate Zayn’s fucked off to Durmstrang. Louis would be completely miserable if not for WWN and Nick Grimshaw. The same Nick Grimshaw Louis has been listening to for years, ever since Nick’s early days on Potterwatch. As Louis tries to negotiate coming of age, sexuality, first times, homophobia in the wizarding world and his growing feelings for Nick, a new evil emerges which puts Louis and Nick in serious danger. Peace can only last for so long and Louis is about to learn exactly how brave he can be as he finds himself fighting for his life, his friends and everything he’s ever loved.

This author is an absolute legend among the HP community, and I feel so blessed that they gave us this epic coming-of-age freakin novel of a Tomlinshaw fic. Because that’s what it is. A novel. Reading it feels like reading a Harry Potter book, with added smut. Plus, I have such a soft spot for Tomlinshaw. A must read.

Let It Be Lightning by alexenglish | @queerlyalex --- 41k, OT5

Niall Horan made a choice when he enlisted with the Pan Pacific Defense Corps. Leave his family and try to make a difference. He started out as a Jaeger Tech, elbow-deep in the greasy guts of the machines that were supposed to save the world, but here he is, five years later, fresh out of the Ranger Academy with another choice to make:

Assemble a team of Rangers able to pilot two or more Jaegers at any given moment. Interchangeable partnerships, all Drift Compatible with each other. The implications of pulling off this project are astronomical, but at the end of the day, Niall's just worried about how many people are going to end up inside his head.

If you’re looking for a little diversity, look no further! This one features non-binary!harry, trans-male!louis and asexual!liam all in one damn place! And everyone is connected through Niall! I mean, that pushes so many of my buttons, I don’t even know where to start!

you came into my life by disgruntledkittenface | @disgruntledkittenface --- 57k, Larry

They stand around talking for a minute and then Jonathan starts to ramble, “Has there ever been, like, an unrequited gay love story in here? Like a Brokeback Mountain moment where, like, someone just fell in love and they didn’t mean to?”

Louis feels bile rise in his throat as Jonathan’s eyes sparkle, pleading for a yes. He manages to look around and see thoughtful looks on his coworkers’ faces before their heads shake no.

“Not here,” Liam says finally.

When the Queer Eye cast and crew sweep into Louis’ small town and fire station to make over his best friend and coworker Liam, Louis’ carefully constructed walls start to fall down and he has to face his fears – and the only guy he’s ever been able to see a future with.

I’ve talked about this one before, and to be honest, I probably won’t ever stop talking about it. It’s a story about Louis’ inner struggles and the people that give him the courage to finally come out of the closet. Every which way you turn, there’s a character love and adore. I will definitely be reading this one again some time in the near future.

I Only Come Alive Under the Moonlight by remivel | @remivel --- 54k, Lilo

Louis knew he hadn't seen action in months, but this was just the universe making fun of him, he was sure of it. Because when he woke up in the middle of the night, he discovered that his new dog was missing, and standing in its place was a very confused, very fit... and very naked man.

Or a romantic comedy with a furry twist. Liam turns into a dog at night, Louis tries to help him get back to normal-- and ends up falling in love somewhere along the way.

It’s a rom-com, guys! And I actually laughed out loud. Imagine Louis waking up to find a naked Liam in the kitchen. And Liam having no idea how he got there, or even who he is. It’s so fun to join their weird little bubble for a while. I could’ve easily read another 50k words of this.

Replay, Darling by lazy_daze | @dazy-laze --- 1k, Lilo

Really, really schmoopy Lilo 'Replay' fic for which I blame onedirectionundergod and the fact that there can never been enough 'Replay' schmoop. (Or porn - oh man, please - but this is version: schmoop.) Thank you to checkthemargins for the title help! <3

This one really is sickly-sweet, but that’s just how I like ‘em! I know it’s short, but my love for Lilo and the whole replay thing makes it one of my favourites.

Easy As All That (Go Around A Time Or Two) by sunsetmog --- 84k, Lilo

Sometimes the hardest part of growing up is figuring out who you are in the first place.

Or: The one where Liam and Louis only kiss when they're on nights out, when it's secret, when there's no one around to see them. If no one knows you're having a sexuality crisis, that means it isn't happening, right?

Or, or: Liam accidentally turns Louis' world upside down.

A high school sixth form AU.

Lilo having a sexuality crisis! I don’t know what more you need me to say, really. When I think about Lilo, this is the fic I think about.

Heart Skips A Beat by harriet_vane --- 27k, Zarry

Harry always kisses everyone, until he starts something he can't finish. (A university AU in which no one goes to class. I am noticing a trend.)

Harry’s characterization is the whole reason I love this fic so much. He absolutely has no freakin idea how to deal with his crush and goes about it all wrong. It’s endearing as much as it is face-palm inducing.

I Could Paint You By Numbers, and Color You In by YinAndYangOnIce --- 12k, Ziall

based off this thing i wrote, basically Niall has a secret admirer and everyone is an idiot

I prefer my Ziall to be of the fluffy variety and this one does not disappoint! It makes me smile like an absolute idiot, which is why you should read it. 

Not Happening by scottmcniceass --- 52k, Ziam

Zayn and Liam are roommates. They hate each other. (Most of the time.)

This was the first Ziam I have ever read and boy did it set the bar high. If you’re into enemies to lovers, as I am, drop everything and read this. 

[topweeklyupdate]

TØP Weekly Update #54: COVER ME (7/13/2018)

Finally, after months of solid drought, the barren wasteland known as the TØP fanbase has finally been blessed with rain. And not just a gentle sprinkle; it’s been a consistent heavy downpour, a veritable flood. Even before new music, this week gave us new content from the group every single day. There will probably be something new out by the time you’re done reading this. So let’s not waste any time! Here’s your week in Twenty One Pilots news.

This Week’s TØPics:

Your Band Is Back: Trench Coming This October

“Jumpsuit” and “Nico” Released

New Logo/Theming/Everything

Josh Speaks

And SO. MUCH. MORE.

Major News and Announcements:

This time last week, I was certain that we would be getting new music on the 6th because it was my birthday. Turns out, myself and many others in the Clique read a little too deeply into Clancy’s promise that “everything would be different” by morning. We did not receive new music on that date, which, for the record, was way earlier than most reports had pegged. The fanbase wanted music ASAP and interpreted the letter to fit that, and anyone who said the band lied about when music was coming was just not being honest with themselves. 

Things were different starting last Friday. On the one-year anniversary of their departure, Twenty One Pilots directly reached out to their fans for the first time, not through the wide platform of social media, but with an email message to their mailing list.

The message only consisted of the subject line “ARE YOU STILL SLEEPING?” and a gif of an opening yellow eye, with images fitting the iconography of the Dema site flashing under the eyelid. The Clique basically lost their minds at this direct contact, so much so that major publications like Billboard finally started to report on the long gestating speculation. Everyone was excited to see the eye open over the course of the day, bringing everything full circle and culminating (presumably) with new music.

That... didn’t happen. Rather, dmaorg.info was restored after being down for only a few hours, and this gif of torches was added onto the site. This indicated that Clancy had escaped Dema, and the Clique promptly set about assuming that the next day would mark the band’s full return. Further, the name of the gif, “they_ca_ntseeFCE300″, seemed to confirm what people would be speculating ever since Josh dyed his hair nearly two years ago: the next era’s color would be yellow (specifically, FCE300) to symbolize hope and light pushing back against the dark.

The next day brought with it another update from Clancy (and the general concession among the Clique to stop expecting new music every night and just go to bed). In one of my favorite bits of attention to detail so far, Clancy’s latest journal was messily handwritten on a scrap of paper, due to the fact that he had successfully escaped Dema and was now traveling through- big shock- a region called “Trench”. The writing itself is kinda rambly and generic (so I can relate), with Tyler Clancy marveling at how much he loves being in the trees being alone out in nature. That said, I do love that there is a definite story being presented, with Clancy experiencing changes, taking action, and going on a real journey through this world that Tyler’s created.

On the back of the paper, however, is something much more interesting: a blown-out image that, when reversed, revealed a dead body. That was creepy enough as is; far more creepy was the Clique’s CSI-level discovery that this ripped photo fit with several other dmaorg.info images in a giant puzzle. Who was this man? Was this a random poster that Clancy grabbed as he escaped, or are we supposed to take it as a metaphor? Was it a random citizen of Dema? A bishop? Clancy himself? Blurryface? So many questions.

Twenty One Pilots truly made their mainstream return on July 9th, when they posted a second video of a half-opened eye, not just for hardcore fans, but on all of their social media platforms. This return was accompanied by a total overhaul of the band’s general branding: a new yellow-and-black ||-// logo was revealed for the new era, while the old “silence” banners and even the website subscription box were covered up by bright yellow tape. Billboards featuring the logo on this yellow tape aesthetic sprang up in cities all around the world, from London to Toronto, Berlin to Melbourne, even an entire building in São Paolo. The boys were back.

On Tuesday, Twenty One Pilots again returned to social media to post a second video. The eye, now about 3/4 open, depicted even more of this medieval battle, now with the addition of the Watchers on the cliff throwing... something (rocks? rose petals?) into the air. Instead of generic white noise, this clip was scored by a muffled but still obviously crunchy bass line. As radio stations across the country began to tweet about a major alternative release coming Wednesday morning (with a few even mentioning they were from Columbus), we finally knew that we were going to be ok....

New Releases:

And then I was not okay.

Early Wednesday morning, Twenty One Pilots dropped two singles and announced the names and dates for the next album, Trench, and tour, Bandito. My prediction from last week was 100% correct, and you all may thank and validate me in the comments below like and subscribe. “Jumpsuit” is our main single with a full cinematic music video, while “Nico and the Niners” is the more lore-heavy low-key song for the fans. I’m going to pull back from fully going in on picking apart every sonic and thematic element of both songs and save that for (hopefully) a less busy week, but you know I gotta write about their first new music in two years. Cause that’s what I do: I write too much.

Guys, “Jumpsuit” is a straight-up banger. Featuring a killer driving bassline, some of Tyler’s most impassioned screams, and a truly devastating bridge, I have not tired of this song one bit in the last few days. It takes me on a complete emotional journey in just four minutes every time, and it does so mainly through its soundscape (there’s only the hook, three couplet verses, and that damn bridge). It’s so, so, so, so good, potentially (dare I say it) the best sonically arranged and produced song the band has ever released.

So... what’s “Jumpsuit” about? Well, a lot of things, but in a word: pressure. Again, the lyrics are super vague, I think deliberately so. Clearly the song is about the singer feeling pressured by others into taking a path that he does not want to travel down. That bridge, delivered in an eerie detached falsetto, shows Tyler pushing back even at his weakest point, stating that he will not submit to what others want him to do unless they “grab him by the throat, tie him down, and break his hands.” Certainly you can argue that this is about the music industry. The “breaking his hands” line is killer in that context, as it signifies that the industry can’t control him without taking away the things that makes him valuable to them in the first place, his artistic ability and freedom. You can also say that it’s just playing straight into the concept, with Clancy breaking away from the bishops’ control. But the deliberate vagueness of the lyrics means that the audience can apply the message- and the empowerment of that killer bassline- to whatever struggle they are facing. That’s pretty darn rad.

The music video, directed by “Heathens” and “Heavydirtysoul”’s Andrew Donoho, is sick. Tyler (looking extra fly in his new yellow hooded jumpsuit) attempts to flee from this creepy Red Riding Hood old dude on a white horse (Nico?) through what is certainly a Game of Thrones filming location while other figures in yellow duct tape jumpsuits look on from the cliffs above. Tyler is captured by the bishop, who “smears” him by putting the black Blurryface makeup on his neck. Tyler is freed briefly from the bishop’s control when the other yellow-clad figures throw yellow petals down on him, but he is chased down knocked out or killed. The others flee the scene, save for one very handsome looking drummer boy... Oh, and there’s a bunch of intercut clips of Tyler on the car from “Heavydirtysoul” for some reason.

Besides those “Heavydirtysoul” scenes, which truthfully don’t connect much to the story of the video beyond artificially welding it onto the end of the Blurryface Era, this is one of the band’s best videos yet. It totally fulfilled all of my expectations of a more epic scope for this era, from the gorgeous Iceland setting to the dope as hell costumes to the implication that the story might continue on from this point. And there are tons of little Easter eggs, from brief flashes of the nine bishops to possible cameos from the Josephs and Duns. We don’t really know for sure if Tyler is playing Clancy or if the red dude is Nico, but it will certainly be fun to continue to fill in the blanks as we move forward and (hopefully) hear more from Tyler directly.

“Nico and the Niners” is a weird track, but one that I still absolutely love. In some ways, it’s a more traditional tøp track, with some of the raggae elements found on Blurryface and a rap verse to fit all of Tyler’s lyrics in. But in other significant ways, it’s a totally different path for them. For starters, just look at that title: it’s very explicitly about this album’s concept from top to bottom, with Tyler singing about fleeing Dema and its bishops’ control and even heavily referencing “Jumpsuit”; there’s clearly going to be a great deal of thematic cohesion in this project. But there’s also just the general vibe of it: just as “Jumpsuit” was a heavier rock song than anything we’d yet seen from the band, "Nico” is way more laid back, its repeated references to being high and even its visualizer of assorted shrubbery making it a potential stoner anthem (whether that was Tyler’s intention or not). Regardless, the song is brimming with character and hooks, and it’s already grown on me significantly in just a few days.

Oh, and one more thing: this song lives up to its Dema-referencing title and content by being cryptic af. The track is littered with reversed audio in the instrumental bits, including the “we are banditos” snippet from dmaorg.info and another sample of someone who sounds a lot like Josh saying “We will leave Dema at true east, renounce Vialism [the bishops’ ruling philosophy, alluded to be Clancy in an earlier journal].” I swear, if all it takes for Tyler to make all this stuff is a year break, he should do this after every album.

With all that new music, the fact that we finally have a name for Album 5 almost got lost in the shuffle. Trench was a popular guess over the last few days thanks to dmaorg.info, but it’s good to finally know for sure. Graphic designer Brandon Rike from the Blurryface Era is back again, revealing a cover featuring a badass-looking vulture/falcon/whatever, some new logos (including the return of FPE!), and some more yellow tape that appears to be covering the names of the rest of the album’s songs. Not too much else to say at this point; we’ll just have to wait until some of that tape gets peeled off between now and October 5th.

Finally, let’s talk about the Bandito Tour. It bears mentioning that, amidst the otherwise overwhelmingly positive positive atmosphere of the band’s return, this tour name received the most general opposition from fans and non-fans alike. The fact that “bandito” was probably going to turn up in a lyric from two decidedly white dudes was already enough to put some folks on edge, but the idea of an entire tour of predominantly non-Hispanic tweens flooding arenas and calling themselves banditos was enough to turn a few people against the band. And look, I get it- I hear “bandito” and the first things I think of are John Wayne Westerns and Speedy Gonzalez, and I get why a lot of fans might feel uncomfortable with that. But, to be fair, the band hasn’t used any of those stereotypes and banditos is a word for outlaw used in a number of Romance languages. Perhaps most interestingly, there’s not yet any evidence that the word even appears in the album itself. So far, the only appearance of “bandito” is in a coded message on dmaorg.info and in reversed audio in “Nico”. If this does turn out to be a name meant to only make sense to the most hardcore of fans, it is almost redeemed (I mean, I still think the name is a little silly, but I’m already in presale).

So, with that out of the way, let’s actually talk about the tour itself. It will be an international arena tour- even if the band’s sound is not going in a pop direction, they still clearly feel confident that the Clique will show up wherever they go. The first show will be hosted in Nashville (their first arena concert in that market) on October 16, not even two weeks after the release of the full album. What a baller move, and much preferred to the Blurryface rollout where we didn’t hear most of the songs on the record until nearly two months after the album release and they didn’t play near me for even longer. The boys will tour the U.S. until November 21, even playing arenas in a few markets that they’ve never played large venues in before, and then hit up Australia and New Zealand in December.

The most objectively interesting leg will be in Europe from January through March. Not only will the band play their first arena shows in markets like Moscow, Oslo, Stockholm, Copenhagen, Central Poland, and Manchester, they will return to markets like Dublin and Glasgow they’ve been absent from for years. Most exciting, Twenty One Pilots will play their first shows in Bologna and Stuttgart and venture into the countries of Ukraine, Switzerland, Spain, and Portugal for the first time ever. Needless to say, the rabid fanbases of all of these regions are super excited, and I’m super excited for them!

Other Shenanigans:

While Tyler has continued to stay silent (much as he has since mid-Blurryface Era), Josh immediately jumped back on Twitter with a standard Josh joke and even resumed his morning workout Snapchats. On Thursday, Josh even called into BBC Radio One with Annie Mac to give a quick interview about the new era. He didn’t provide a ton of information, but it was just a delight to hear our kid’s voice again. A few tidbits of info:

Josh reported that he was calling from Trench, I hate him.

The sick bass riff on “Jumpsuit” was born from soundchecks toward the end of Emotional Roadshow. He says that, as a result, it sounds closest to the Blurryface sound, serving as a good transition into the new era. (If this is what he thinks is close to Blurryface on Trench, this album’s gonna be nutter butters.)

Both Josh and Tyler are really nervous about the elaborate rollout, both out of the usual fear that no one stuck around and out of wariness of severely disappointing people when they hear the actual music (so far, so good...)

Trench continues to have the “diverse” sound of the previous records and also was designed to be played live.

Josh also tuned into Apple Music’s Beats 1 for an interview with Hanuman Welch. This conversation was less about the new album and more about the “hiatus”. More tidbits: 

The band views collaboration as a “sacred” thing, and while they’re not against it in the future, it has to be done in a context that makes sense and not merely for marketing purposes.

The band has never used the word hiatus because they’ve been working. They drew back from the spotlight to allow themselves some time to recharge, but also because they were worried of oversaturation (particularly after the Grammys pushed them into that next-level pop culture sphere). Rather than make a bunch of social media posts that didn’t mean anything just to stay relevant, the band decided to draw back, focus on music, and in the process “thin the weeds” of fans who weren’t the diehards.

For the last few albums, the music has come from a specific personal place the band was at while write, whether it be a spiritual journey with Vessel or tackling insecurities on Blurryface. Josh says the same remains true with Trench, but notes that there will be a little more fleshing out themes by working on a specific story with this one (he still says it’s not really a concept album, but ok).

Believe it or not, we are not done. While the boys were blazing a brave new path forward, another bit of content reminded us of where the band came from. Greg Wells, the producer who made Vessel the masterpiece it was, gave an hour-long interview to Billboard’s Pop Shop Podcast. He mainly speaks about getting started in the industry back in the 90s and working on the mega-blockbuster Greatest Showman soundtrack, but he does talk about Vessel for a bit approximately forty minutes into the interview. I won’t give the exact time-code, not because I’m lazy, but because the entire interview is worth listening to. Greg just seems like a rad dude. His laid-back nature and the seriousness he takes with his craft really shine through; he and Tyler must have gotten along just fine.

Community Spotlight:

The Clique took some heavy losses over the last year, as a great deal of old fans moved on to greener pastures. But that just left room for a whole host of new fans to rise to the occasion and help us get through that long drought. Today, I wanted to give a shout-out to GingerSheep and Stolen Potential, two Clique vloggers that have really kept the fanbase informed and uplifted and have been working their butts off reporting on the daily content. I know how long it takes me just to research and write one of these- I can’t imagine the work that then goes into filming and editing on top of that nearly every day. Hats off to you, good sirs. Make sure you all check out their channels if you haven’t already! But, you know, don’t stop reading these. I have bills to pay with all the Tumblr money I’m not making.

Well, that wasn’t too much, was it? If you made it all the way to the end, mad props. See you next week for a slightly tamer week (probably).

Power to the local dreamer.

|-/

[recentanimenews]

Manga the Week of 8/25/21

SEAN: It’s time to do the list backwards again! Which I do because I enjoy changing things up once in a while, and absolutely not just because I feel guilty that Yen Press never gets a cover art picture…

So let’s start with Yen Press, who debut Bungo Stray Dogs: Beast, a spinoff of the main series that runs in Shonen Ace. It focuses on Ryuunosuke Akutagawa.

ASH: Oh, interesting! I’ve fallen behind with Bungo Stray Dogs, but still greatly enjoy its premise and all the literary references.

Yen also has the 10th Goblin Slayer manga.

Yen On debuts Spy Classroom, which has gotten a lot of good buzz. A spy is tasked to train a crack squad into a top spy team… sadly, the words “crack squad” are used in the same way you might say “crack pairing”. They’re all useless! This should be fun.

Also from Yen On, we see the 8th volume of 86, The Angel Next Door Spoils Me Rotten 2, Durarara!! SH 2, I’ve Been Killing Slimes for 300 Years and Maxed Out My Level 10, and Konosuba: An Explosion on This Wonderful World! Bonus Story 2 (the final volume of this side story).

Viz Media has One Piece 97. Why it’s coming out this week, I’ve no idea. Get back to first week of the month where you belong!

MICHELLE: I’ve fallen a fair bit behind on One Piece, sadly.

ANNA: I’ve never even attempted it, but my kids have read through it twice courtesy of the Shonen Jump app.

SEAN: Square Enix Manga has Ragna Crimson 3.

Seven Seas’ first debut is Chillin’ in Another World with Level 2 Super Cheat Powers (Lv2 kara Cheat datta Moto Yuusha Kouho no Mattari Isekai Life), whose light novel J-Novel Club will be putting out. It runs in Comic Gardo. The plot makes me despair to type up. This guy is a summoned hero, but he’s really weak, so everyone hates and bullies him. Then he hits level 2, and all his cheat powers show up! I don’t think this quite goes “Now I’ll show them! I’ll show them ALL!”, but hey.

The other debut is Reborn as a Space Mercenary: I Woke Up Piloting the Strongest Starship! (Mezametara Saikyou Soubi to Uchuusen Mochi Datta node, Ikkodate Mezashite Youhei to Shite Jiyuu ni Ikitai). Airship already had the light novel version of this. If you enjoy “seems weak but actually strong” books but want them set in space, this might appeal. It runs on the Comic Walker website.

ASH: I think space could be a nice change of pace.

Seven Seas also has the 4th and final volume of A Certain Scientific Railgun: Astral Buddy, The Kingdoms of Ruin 3, Kuma Kuma Kuma Bear’s 5th manga volume, Love Me for Who I Am 4, Skeleton Knight in Another World’s 7th manga volume, and The Tale of the Outcasts 2.

MICHELLE: Oh, is Skeleton Knight another skeleton isekai?

ANNA: How many are there????

SEAN: (Yes, it is another example of skeleton isekai, though the most famous one is Overlord.)

ASH: Once you notice the skeletons, they’re everywhere! (I’m particularly fond of Skull-face Bookseller Honda-san, myself.)

SEAN: The only print release for Kodansha is the 6th omnibus of Saint Young Men.

ASH: Oh, that one’s for me!

MELINDA: Yes!

SEAN: Digitally, they debut Chihiro-kun Only Has Eyes for Me (Chihiro-kun wa, Atashi Holic), a Nakayoshi series about a girl who catches the eye of a fellow student and fashion designer. He wants her to model. He wants her to pose. He wants her to strip. He may be a little obsessed…

MICHELLE: Curious, I looked this up on Kodansha’s website. The first line in the blurb for volume two is “You have no right to refuse me doing this.” So, a big NO THANKS from me.

ANNA: Yeargh no thank you.

SEAN: Also out: Back When You Called Us Devils 4, DAYS 25, Harem Marriage 8, My Darling Next Door 2, and Quality Assurance in Another World 3.

MICHELLE: Gotta get caught up on DAYS!

SEAN: J-Novel Club gives us By the Grace of the Gods 8, The Emperor’s Lady-in-Waiting Is Wanted as a Bride 2, Guide to the Perfect Otaku Girlfriend: Roomies and Romance 3, The Ideal Sponger Life 4, and The Great Cleric 4.

Ghost Ship debuts Does a Hot Elf Live Next Door to You? (Otaku no Tonari wa Elf Desuka?), which runs in Kodansha’s Young Magazine. Japan is now having isekai elves and other types moving there to see what life is like. Our hero just wants to be a manga artist, but how can he when all these hot girls keep showing up and trying to seduce him? That’s rough, buddy…

MICHELLE: *snerk*

SEAN: Ghost Ship also has Call Girl in Another World 2.

Dark Horse has the 8th deluxe Berserk hardcover.

ASH: The Berserk are taking up a fair amount of my available shelf space, but they’re looking good doing it!

SEAN: Airship has a digital-first debut. Disciple of the Lich: Or How I Was Cursed by the Gods and Dropped Into the Abyss! (Fushisha no Deshi ~Jashin no Fukyou wo Katte Naraku ni Otosareta Ore no Eiyuutan~) has our hero summoned to another world… and dropped at the bottommost dungeon with no powers. Fortunately he meets a girl who’ll protect him. Unfortunately, she’s undead.

Also out early digital is Classroom of the Elite 9 and Monster Musume The Novel – Monster Girls on the Job! (yes, yes, it got bumped).

Did anything catch your eye here? Also, does anyone even notice that I go in alphabetical order by publisher anyway?

ASH: It may be the librarian in me, but I do!

By: Sean Gaffney

[cathygeha]

REVIEW

Up In Smoke by Annabeth Albert

Hot Shots #4

 This book left a smile on my face. It was a steamy-sweet romance between two men that so deserved to find happiness. No major drama for the couple though taking on the care of an infant baby girl was definitely not easy…but so much easier together than it would have been for either to do alone. It almost had a fairytale feel to it and was perfect reading for me the day I read it!

 What I liked: * That the backstories of the two men had commonalities

* That I felt both men were “equal” and brought qualities that would support the relationship

* That the two men communicated openly and maturely

* Shane: good brother, musician, loving uncle, has goals and dreams, a good person

* Brandt: firefighter, a bit of a rambler, professional, caring, team player, a good person

* The growth in both main characters

* How the two dealt with the situation they found themselves in

* That they were there for Jewel, the baby, and for one another

* That there was no major drama between the two men

* That it felt believable – mostly

* The fairytale feel of the story that might have been less believable but that was very nice indeed

* The happy ending

* Seeing/hearing about some of the characters from previous books in the series

* Wondering if there will be more books in the series

* That there was no “bad guy”

* All of it really except…

 What I didn’t like:

* Being reminded that firefighters have a tough life and that they sometimes die as a result of the job(s) they do.

 Did I enjoy this book? Yes

Would I read more in this series? Yes

 Thank you to NetGalley and Harlequin-Carina Press for the ARC – This is my honest review.

 4-5 Stars

Up in Smoke by Annabeth Albert is available in eBook, mass market paperback and audiobook formats on April 27th!

  Book Description

Three Men and a Baby meets Backdraft with explosive chemistry and heartfelt feels.

 Freewheeling smoke jumper Brandt Wilder thrives on adrenaline. He’s never met a parachute he can’t repair or a dangerous situation he couldn’t wrangle his way out of. He’s popular and fun-loving and not at all looking to settle down or form lasting relationships. It’s a lifestyle that’s served him well…right up until the day he finds a baby on his doorstep.

 Shane Travis is used to putting his country music career—and his own happiness—on hold after his sister rolls through his life. Like last spring when she convinced him to try skydiving for his birthday—and she walked away with the hot parachute instructor.

 Now he gets to deliver the piece of news that will upend Brandt’s carefree life: he very well might be a dad.

 Shane’s niece is safe in Brandt’s strong, capable hands, but too many questions remain unanswered. Co-parenting while they sort it out leads to late-night talks, and soul-bearing confessions lead to a most inconvenient attraction. Still, Shane can’t leave this makeshift family behind—even if it means playing house with the one man he can’t resist.

 Hotshots

Book 1: Burn Zone (available now!)

Book 2: High Heat (available now!)

Book 3: Feel the Fire (available now!)

Book 4: Up in Smoke (coming April 27)

  Read on for an excerpt from Up in Smoke.

 Brandt’s deep chuckle rumbled straight through Shane. Damn. This was torture. Then the other man wrapped an arm around Shane, positioning his muscled forearm where Shane could see his fancy-looking watch gadget. “Now this is my altimeter. It tells me when we’re at five thousand feet and ready to deploy the chute.”

“Got it.” Shane wasn’t about to study that meaty arm any more than he absolutely had to.

“Okay, it’s go time.” Dallas’s voice echoed though the room. Brandt quickly unclipped them, but as soon as he stepped away, Shane’s pulse kicked up. Maybe he couldn’t do this. Jump out of a plane? Who was he kidding? He was a ground dweller, through and through.

Right when he was about to turn away, though, Brandt grabbed his biceps. “Nerves hitting you? Trust me. You’ll be just fine. I haven’t lost a jumper yet.”

Shane barked out a laugh. “Not exactly making me feel better.”

“Listen, I can tell you all day about how awesome this is.” Brandt looked him dead in the eyes, gaze serious for once, all his charm turned to raw intensity. “But until you do it, you’re gonna think it’s all BS. Sometimes you gotta take a leap of faith.”

“Not very good at those,” Shane admitted quietly as he stepped free of the other guy’s grip. He couldn’t keep meeting his eyes either. Too much power there, like a shot with an extra kick.

“Okay. You want me to tell Dallas you want out?”

A yes was right there on the tip of Shane’s tongue, but then he heard Shelby’s laugh ring out. She’d love it if he chickened out. Not only would she get bragging rights for all of eternity, she’d get what she’d wanted and get to go with Brandt. And for whatever reason, Shane hated that most of all. “Nah. I’m going.”

He white-knuckled his way out to the small plane, spared a nod for the female pilot, and squished his eyes shut until Shelby jostled him into looking at the valley underneath them, the green canopy of the national forest contrasting with the pristine blue sky. Random snippets of lyrics danced through Shane’s head, ways that he might try to describe this view. But then, right as he was settling into something resembling comfort, everyone started shuffling around, getting ready to go. The wind rushed in as the hatch opened, and a full-body shiver raced through Shane.

Then Shelby gave him and Brandt one last coy grin before she and Dallas were away, her whoop echoing across the sky.

“Ready? Here we go.” Brandt nudged Shane closer to the open hatch. Shane wanted to say no, wanted to drag their clipped-together bodies back inside the plane, wanted to both hurl and yell. But in the end, all he could do was nod. Only one way down.

His knees had locked up even as his thighs trembled. Behind him, Brandt was sure and solid. He could push Shane out the hatch pretty easily, but he didn’t. He was letting it be Shane’s choice. And somehow that patience and restraint gave Shane a jolt of courage. One step into nothingness. That was all it took.

Brandt was right behind him, smooth as if they were on a dance floor, not open sky. And now they were fall­ing. Falling so fast. Faster than a car on the interstate with the windows all down, faster than a dirt bike on a steep incline, faster than the whoosh down a water slide. There was no describing the feeling of the wind on his cheeks, the roar in his ears, the shout that probably be­longed to him, the adrenaline that crashed through him as he tried to remember what they’d practiced about po­sitioning. Damn. Hard to think.

Which was funny because that was the one thing he was good at. Shelby was forever teasing him about overthinking. But now, his brain couldn’t even pull two words together as they rushed through the air. Brandt yelled something, but Shane was too busy hurtling through the sky to focus on it. And then he was pulled backwards, a hard yank as the parachute deployed. No more freefall. And the oh-my-God-about-to-die adrenaline quieted enough that he could look down, really look.

“Oh my word. It’s… .”

“Beautiful isn’t it?” Brandt’s voice was deep and rich, like warm honey over Shane’s still jangling nerves. Now that the air wasn’t rushing so fast, he could hear him better. Almost too much better, because it felt like they were soaking up each other’s awe and wonder. Sharing something warm and tender and perfect.

“Yeah.”

“Nothing like it.” Brandt whistled low, a sound that hit Shane somewhere soft. “Never gonna get tired of this view.”

“Me either.” Shane almost didn’t recognize his own voice, up this high, this far removed from everything that usually weighed him down.

“Hey, Superman. You want a turn steering?” Brandt didn’t wait for Shane to reply, grabbing his arms, guid­ing his hands.

“Whoa. Wow. I’m doing it. Look at us.” They swooped gently from side to side, and it was quite possibly the best feeling Shane had ever experienced.

“Look at you. Didn’t know your smile muscles even worked.”

“Screw you. I can smile.” Shane was feeling so good that he had to laugh.

“Well, then get ready. The landing crew will snap your pic as we land. It’s your rock-star moment.”

“Feels like it,” he said right before Brandt took over and set them down softly in a clearing, barely even jarring Shane’s knees. “Damn. That was…”

“It was something.” Brandt was looking right at him, like he could see straight through Shane’s layers, strip him bare. And Shane held his gaze, held the moment as long as he could.

 Copyright © 2021 by Annabeth Albert

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  About Annabeth Albert

Annabeth Albert grew up sneaking romance novels under the bed covers. Now, she devours all subgenres of romance out in the open—no flashlights required! When she’s not adding to her keeper shelf, she’s a multi-published Pacific Northwest romance writer.

 Emotionally complex, sexy, and funny stories are her favorites both to read and to write. Annabeth loves finding happy endings for a variety of pairings and is a passionate gay rights supporter.  In between searching out dark heroes to redeem, she works a rewarding day job and wrangles two children.

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Website: http://annabethalbert.com/

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