#obey me leviathan quotes

[devildomwriter]

“…psst…hey!”

“Is that you, God?”

“Seriously? No! Over here! Look!”

— Leviathan and MC (Chapter 2-8)

[rainiishowers]

Lucifer: *Wears a slightly lighter shade of black*

Asmodeus: I see you're bursting out the spring colors.

———

Mammon, rolling down the car window: what seems to be the problem, officer?

Cop: get the FUCK out of my car

———

Luke: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it

Luke: And I started thinking

Luke: Like it was just trying to get food

Luke: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck

Luke: How would I feel

Simeon: Are you okay???

———

Mammon: You should always say "please" and "thank you".

Baby! Satan, deadpanned: Please shut the fuck up, thank you.

Mammon: Not what I meant, but still progress!

———

Mammon: *flirts with MC*

MC: *flirts back*

Mammon, internally: i did not plan up to this point. what the fuck do i do now…?

———

Belphegor: *washing the dishes* Who the fuck used this pan??

Belphegor: Wait. I the fuck used this pan...

MC: It was you the fuck

Satan: Who cooks rice in a pan?

Beelzebub: He the fuck

———

MC: If I blended Red Bull, five hour energy, monster, coffee, and hot Cheetos into an Energy Smoothie would it kill me?

Solomon: *shrugs* Only if you die young

MC, getting out the blender: You're so smart

Mammon, running into the room: MC STOP-

———

Satan: I'm gonna open a cat cafe, but I need investors. Here's the plan. The first floor will have normal cats, but as you go up, each floor will have more and more dangerous cats, and at the top floor is me with a gun.

———

Beelzebub: *is carrying all the groceries*

M: *holds out hand to help*

Beelzebub: *aggressively moves all the groceries to one hand to hold MC’s hand*

———

Asmo: And once again, Asmo and Solomon save the day.

Barbatos: You didn't do anything. It was all Solomon.

Asmodeus: We're a package deal. Everyone knows that.

———

Diavolo: Would you kiss me for 1k grimm?

Lucifer: Why?

Diavolo: Just curious

Lucifer, playing along: ..I suppose

Diavolo: [Slams 1k onto the table] would you look at that-

[tsukii0002]

I have the headcanon that the brothers can feel when Mc feels the sin they represent, Satan when he feels anger, Beel when he feels gluttony…, but that the other way around also happens. When one of the brothers is being “dominated” by his sin, Mc is able to feel that feeling as their own even though it is not. I mean, Mc is calmly doing their business and suddenly BUM, they feel a very marked envy out of nowhere. And it's like:

Mc: *feels a very strong envy out of nowhere*

Mc: What the hell happened to Levi now?

Mc: *quietly in their room when they starts to feel a familiar sensation* How strange…

Mc: *realizing that it's greed what they are feeling* Wait…

Mc: *getting up suddenly and running out* MaaMmoOoon!!! whatever it is don't even think about it!!!!

Mc: *studying* mmm What…

Mc: !!! *feeling a big lust* Asmo we have a final exam tomorrow!!!!

Mc: *with a classmate doing a project* … *suddenly feels a surge of anger and smashes their pen* …

Demon: Are you ok?!

Mc: I am, but the bastard who pissed off Satan won't be ha ha.

Demon: ????

.

.

[sheeprad]

Mc: *sneaks into house at 2am*

Lucifer: *turns into swivel chair* care to tell me where you were?

Mc: I was with… Uh… Mammon!

Mammon: *also turns into swivel chair* Care to- *keeps spinning* Lucifer I can’t stop the chair.

[slutifer]

Solomon: mc isn’t feeling well, so how ‘bout i take over their cooking duty tonight?

Lucifer: is that a fuckin’ threat

[anintrovertedechoe]

the brothers: mc let me carry ur bag for u ! ur human it might break ur back and then u’ll die :((

solomon: my back hurts !!

the brothers (and barbatos): lmao kys

[helpiamlostsomewhereinthegarden]

MC: Don't kill me! I have friends!

Some Random witches: You think we care about that?

MC: No, this isn't a plea for mercy. It's a warning.

Witches: What?

The brothers + Purgatory Hall + Diavolo and Barbaros, kicking down the door: Where is our Human?!

[kpop-otome-yandere-here]

Mc: Congratulations, you three have won gold, silver, and bronze in the morons’ Olympics.

Levi:

Solomon:

Mammon: who won gold?

[lyrichi]

[the bros are all fighting in the background]

mc, watching and eating one of those vero mango lollipops:

solomon, sitting next to them: what did you do to make them all fight like that?

mc: I said I had a favorite

[waterbottlegal15]

Mc: ....

Mammon: ?

Mc: I wanna fuck a cowboy so bad this isn't fair

Mammon: ...Huh??

Asmo: I've fucked one before

Mc: lucky

Mammon: What is this conversation , man?????

Later that day, mammon bought a cowboy costume

[my-names-angel-but-im-not-one]

MC meets their male version!

#2

Story list

MC: hey are you-

M!MC: hungry? Yes.

Beel: ...you two can have my chips. *Pass them chips*

M!MC: thank you beelie!

Beel: *sparkly eyes at male MC*

M!MC: wow you have good tiddies in male form too!!

Beel: ...

MC:

MC: hey....what do you mean by...male form??

M!MC: oh well they are female in my universe. *Munchs on

chips*

MC:

MC: all of them?

M!MC: mhm

MC:

MC: *eyes starts to twinkle*

MC: ......ehuehueheueheu

M!MC: I can basically hear your thoughts you know.

MC: ..boobs,boobs everywhere....

Lucifer: I am not feeling good about this....

[devildomwriter]

“Get away from ___!”

“Hmm, I’m afraid I’d rather not do that. I find the idea of leaving ___’s side…unappealing.”

— Leviathan and Barbatos (Chapter 71-7)

[the-travelling-witch]

Mc: *sneezes*

Mammon, leaning towards Levi, whispering: What does it mean when humans do that?

Levi, whispering back: I think they just took a screenshot

[tsukii0002]

Mc: Henry, you know? People are cruel...

Levi: Mc…

Mc: You offer them your hand, you support them and you want them to prosper.

Levi: Mc please!

Mc: *giving him the back leaning against the fish tank* And when you ask for help…. They stab you in the back in the cruelest way...

Levi: Mc I promise I won't throw you in the Super Smash Bros again!!!! Please don't turn your back on me!!!!!

Mc: No one Henry, don't trust anyone…..

Levi: *crying* MC!!!

.

.

[astaroth1357]

Thinking about Culinary Wizard MC who basically the reverse of Solomon.

They emphatically do not know Devildom any cuisine in any way, but whenever they step into the kitchen they can throw whatever together and it all just works.

Levi says that they just cook on vibes alone. Half the time they don't even know what they're using. They'll sniff at things in the fridge, then pour a random sauce they find onto their dish that miraculously makes it delicious.

Any demon watching them would have a heart attack after seeing them pour what could be the Devildom equivalent of marshmallow fluff on a sirloin, but it somehow, it turns into a 5-star meal once they're done. It should never work as well as it does.

Solomon can even join them in the kitchen because their good cooking is so powerful it cancels out his bad cooking.

Barbatos wants to study them in a lab. He's brought them to the Castle numerous times and each ends in frustration...

~~~~~~~~~

MC: *stirring a pot on one of the several stove-tops in the Castle*

MC: Okay, Barbs. Hand me that purple thing!

Barbatos: *trying not to die inside as he has already watched them drop 3 random fruits and 12 roots into whatever concoction they have cooking up*

Barbatos: MC, are you sure this... dish would benefit from fresh midnightroot? It's so savory that it might-

MC: Barbs.

MC: What did I tell you? When I'm in the kitchen...

Barbatos: ... We must trust the process...

MC: Exactly. Now that purple thing, please.

*One increasingly concerning cooking demonstration later*

MC: *sniffs at the pot and nods approvingly before handing Barbatos a spoon to taste*

MC: Done!

Barbatos: *looks at the pot warily but dips the spoon into the, now purple, creation that has about the consistency of a pie filling*

Barbatos: *tastes the spoon*

Barbatos: ......

Barbatos: *holds his head in his hands, awash with frustration and defeat*

Barbatos: It's... delectable....

They cannot keep getting away with this...

[slutifer]

mc: oh brother-

Mammon: which one?

mc: …what?

Mammon: which brother?

mc:…

mc: uhh, you?

Mammon: that’s right baby