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kedreeva · 3 years

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So, I saw you say in your last-ish ask response that (it sounds like) you basically took the characters from TW and little else for Final Pack? Assuming that I read that right, then why write it as fic and not spin it into something original? Like, I guess I'm really asking, how do you let go of the "original > fic" mindset enough to just let yourself write fic instead of turning things into original stuff? Or was that never a problem for you?

I mean the short answer is that I wanted to write a story about those people, and I wanted to write it for the other people who already like those people.

Like with final pack, the story was never at any point “I want to write an original story about a post apocalypse where some human runs around learning about supernatural creatures” and I just subbed in some other characters instead of making my own. The story was ALWAYS “I want to see how Stiles and Derek, specifically, would interact in an AU of what happens after the 2012 apocalypse, if it was a supernatural apocalypse and they hadn’t met before.” And back when I started, there were a lot of people around who would have enjoyed that exact story, and I wanted to share it with them. Maybe I could have done it as an original from the start, but that was not ever the point of it.

The long answer is several answers, really.

Writing is a hobby, not a career for me. I want it to be fun. I want to enjoy doing it. I don’t want to do it for money, though I don’t mind getting money for having done it or donating it so that others get money (like charity auctions!). With original work there’s often a huge push to go get ~Published~ and ~sell your story~ and I’m just... not into it. Like maybe someday I would like to have some original stuff written and self-published so people could have a copy if they wanted, but it would be me writing the stories for me first, not me writing to make money. Capitalism is already so insidious in everyone’s lives that it’s nearly impossible to find a hobby that someone isn’t screaming at you to monetize. But you CANNOT monetize fanfic and in fact people get REALLY MAD if you try and that pleases me GREATLY. I LOVE having a hobby that capitalism can’t really touch because it shot itself in the foot with copyright laws.

I also don't particularly care for character creation; I love caring about characters but it's so much work to make whole entire people and then get to know them. I don't watch a lot of new TV for the same reason. It's just a lot of work I don't actually need to do, to tell a story I want to tell. But you know what I DO love? Worldbuilding. Fuck yeah that’s the good stuff. I love building worlds and I LOVE setting up complicated plots if I can. But I also love a good one shot that just sort of puts a magnifying glass to something I want to touch more. I don’t feel like I should have to create a whole new set of original characters and a world and a plot every time I want to make some trope play out.

Usually when I write fanfic, the story is a result of my love for the characters. When I write original, the characters are a product of the story. If you remove them from that story, then they're no longer those characters because they don't exist anywhere else. When I'm the one making the source, the source is... limited, in a way. Those characters can only belong to one source, and the rest is not their story (even if a million people write stories with those characters later). But when I write fanfiction, the source is already determined and I can just use the characters in any story without worrying that doing so will fundamentally change the source material.

I also have a great love of examining people. I can write an original and examine those characters once, maybe more if I wrote sequels, but I cannot take them out of their world. But I can write fanfiction and I can twist and turn them a hundred times if I want, and see how a bunch of different stressors and settings affect them (I mean obviously how I THINK it would affect them based on what knowledge I have of them). This is a lot of fun for me! It's basically a puzzle with no final answer and that's hugely enriching for my little gremlin brain. And if it loses interest, I can always find another set of characters for it to chew on.

Another thing is like... There's obviously a difference between original fiction and fan fiction, but it's not "one is worse/lesser" so much as "one is a different genre with different goals." You can argue that, like, science fiction is better than westerns, but in the end they're actually just different and meant for different readers. Original fiction is great, but it can't really be compared, because it wants different things; both to accomplish different things and to get different things from the readers. If you like a character or a world or a trope, you can only get so far reading original fiction. You get one story, or maybe a couple stories, and then that’s it, and they might be absolutely perfect and amazing, but it’s still over once the source is consumed. And that one story often involves a great set of things like a cool setting or an interesting plot, but because of the way mass consumption works, it necessarily often does not contain other things like in depth character studies or campy tropes or major fluff or major angst, domestic situations, character death, or, like.... smut. Fanfiction means if you like that character or that setting or that plot, you can write about them as many times as you like in as many ways as you like AND you haven’t got to go through an editor in order to have it or give it to others. You can slap that bad boy up on AO3 and start screaming about it with friends and readers the hot second they’ve gotten through it.

Which brings me to my last point.... fanfiction allows you to interact with a community immediately. With original fiction, you a) have to wait until you’ve finished writing the whole thing, which is miserable for me b) even if you DO finish writing everything and publish your story, now you still can’t really interact like a fan, you can’t read fanfiction or meta or anything because if you ever wanted to write more, you could be accused of plagiarizing your ideas (even if they were yours to begin with), c) you have to convince people to put in the effort of getting to know your characters and world and plot before you can interact at all, which is exhausting and may or may not happen even after all the work and d) you literally cannot write fanfiction of your own stuff.... its not really fanfiction at that point, it’s apocryphal text. And if there’s any sort of fandom to speak of, it WILL start problems. I hate problems. Problems are the worst!! I have enough of them.

So I dunno. It’s a whole thing, I have way more feelings about it, but I’m tired and my head’s killing me.

If you’re asking me why I don’t write originals, the answer is usually “because I don’t want to.”

If you’re asking how you, too, might be able to get over it and write fanfiction, the answer is “write what makes you happiest.” Maybe that’s not fanfiction. Which I guess makes that bad advice for how to get over it and write fanfiction, but there it is.

#fanfiction #asks #as long as we're here I may as well say that like #it's WAY easier to write a 'first draft' type story #and see where you're gonna hit snags in the plot #or weak spots in the world building #if you're not juggling ALL the balls at once??#Like yeah I used the characters someone else made #so now I don't have to worry about whether they're doing anything weird #I can focus on the plot and the world #I got two hands not three #I'll worry about the characters later #once I know the setting is solid and the plot is not full of holes

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zuppizup · 2 years

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Hi! Please just ignore this if this question is weird and convoluted, I figured you’d be a good person to ask because you’re one of my fav fic authors and we’ve had a couple interactions in the past (I don’t expect you’d remember me lol) Anyway, I wanted to ask some questions about leaving comments on fics, obvi not all authors are the same but I’d really value your opinion. I read a lot of fanfic and I frequently see posts from authors talking about how valuable and enjoyable comments are, I don’t often leave comments but I’d really like to be offering that response and engagement. My issue is I have hella social anxiety and overthink the whole thing until I convince myself it would be better not to say anything. I think it would be a good challenge for me to push through that, and I think it would help to have some consistency in what I say. This is all a decidedly long winded way to ask if leaving comments just outlining my fav parts of a fic/chapter is good or helpful feedback? Also is it appropriate to comment regarding spelling issues and grammar mistakes? (I; a dyslexic queen of run-on sentences am obvi a connoisseur of the english language) So um yeah, thank you regardless of whether you want to respond ✌🏼

Hello! I most certainly do remember you! I think most creators have a pretty good memory for people who interact with their stuff. Certainly the ones I talk to do. ☺️

I absolutely get where you’re coming from with comment anxiety. I get it all the time myself! I was actually talking about it with some of the fandom writers recently. In fact, I often put off reading fics I’m super excited for until I have the time and energy to comment. I don't think that's particularly unusual either.

As a writer I most certainly adore getting comments. Short ones, long ones. A comment that’s just “kudos” or a smilie?

Love it! Someone read my stuff and took the time to leave me a wee note? They are precious and to be loved.

But a comment saying what someone liked about the chapter?! Oh, those are the absolute best! I can't think of a writer I've spoken to who doesn't love that style of comment.

When it comes to spelling and grammar, well, things get a little more complicated. I personally would much prefer someone point out a mistake like that to me. I don't have a beta (beta anxiety is real!) and I have a number of ways of editing a fic to try and capture typos, but they are sneaky and slip through. AO3 especially makes it quick and easy to edit a typo and boom, fic is better and more easy to read. Love that.

Some people are writing fic for fun though, and would rather not get comments like that. Which is totally fair and valid.

Your best bet is to see if the writer has a statement or notes saying they welcome constructive criticism. If not, I think it is probably best to err the side of caution.

For me personally, any type of comment is welcome and cherished. I yeet fics into the universe because otherwise they will go round and round in my head, so it’s really lovely that there is a community of people who read, kudos and comment on fics.

The Dragon Prince fandom really is one of the nicest, most welcoming fandoms this grandma has been in (and I’ve been in a few). I’ve made quite a few friends through commenting on fics and art, so there’s that angle too, if you are interested in developing fandom friendships.

Ultimately, we’re all here to have fun and enjoy the show. If commenting makes you anxious, it’s totally fine not to. People understand and you definitely shouldn’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable. If you really do want to try, you can just start small. Even a little emoji or a couple of words can make a difference in a writer’s day.

And if anyone has any tips, additions or comments, feel free to add them!

#p.s. sorry this took a while to get to #I have been pondering it #thanks for the ask!#and thanks for your kind words!

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areyougonnabe · 3 years

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Fic Writer Questions!

tagged by @palamedessextus !!! thank u i love to procrastinate on writing by writing about writing

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

110 on my main account (+ 4 on my sneaky sock for Crimes™ lol)

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

614,551 on my main account which is. hm. a lot

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

obvi the main ones are the terror (50 fics) and good omens (35 fics). beyond that: TMA, the OA, doctor who, LOST, red dwarf, what we do in the shadows, the aubreyad, legends of tomorrow, banished, MCU, bbc ghosts, jeeves & wooster, russian doll, true detective, twin peaks, fleabag, & it's always sunny.

so technically 19, but wow a LOT of those are because i am a fiend for crossovers. (true detective x red dwarf... twin peaks x hannibal... the OA x lost.... russian doll x doctor who...) and many of the others were one-offs for yuletide. i'm pretty monofannish when it comes to writing!

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

lol they're all going to be for good omens... let's see

1. "it's a new craze" - the podcast fic. imho this fic is the definition of "The Claw," a.k.a. the phenomenon that sees some fics plucked out from the fray to become super popular. i'm not denying that it's good! i still think it's pretty clever! but its popularity was probably as much a function of timing as of quality

2. "what a way to make a living" - the uber driver fic. honestly still pretty proud of this one, it flows well and is structurally interesting and genuinely very funny and the perfect length. i had a blast in good omens fandom writing comedic fic, this one

3. "dearly departed" - another one i'm still very happy with. my first ever finished multi-chapter fic & the story that proved to me i could sustain a plot and original characters and also that people would actually enjoy it. so a pretty big deal!

4. "blame it on my juice, baby!" - the fake love potion one. i wrote this fic while delirious with horrible fever cooped up in a tiny council flat airbnb bedroom in london. i think it's still pretty strong although since writing it i've developed a severe aversion to the "meddling friend engineers a get-together" trope in fic & so cringe a bit when i read it back, lmao

5. "greatest hits" - the one with the original songs! the songs are still good.... the fic is ehhhhhhh i guess.

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

i don't respond to comments on most of my gomens fic anymore because 🤷‍♀️ but i do try to reply to everything i get on my terror fic/smaller fandom stories! my replies are usually very lame but i do like to take the time to thank people for reading.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

i usually don't write angsty endings because i'm a weenie BUT the one exception is probably my terror/TMA crossover which cannot be said to end well by any means lol

7) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

dearly departed has a very lovely ending... i will also plug my OA fic heat rises which is GREAT and has a GREAT ending and nobody read it because nobody watched the OA. i'm fine it's fine

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

as mentioned above, yes, compulsively... award for craziest simply has to go to It's Always Sunny In Another Dimension which is, yes, an IASIP x OA crossover. i apologize for nothing

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

not that i can recall, [bubbe voice] tenks gad!!!

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

i do i do.... when i first picked up fic writing again after college i thought smut would forever totally beyond me but after some very kind encouragement from friends i tried my hand at it & was off to the races.

i would not say i am an expert at it by any means but i have a lot of fun with it, & people seem to generally appreciate it, so i will keep going!

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

also no, phew

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes, a bunch of my gomens fics have been translated into chinese and russian, which is so so super cool!

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yuh, i had a few legendary cowrites in GO! the slow show metafic with cherry @fremulon and the shitscript crossover extravaganza with hallie @kalelraejepsen !!! both tremendously fun experiences

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

that is a very tough one. if you go by my ao3 bookmarks it's aziraphale/crowley, which might be true still tbh... but i dunno. maybe ten/rose because that shit never leaves you.

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

in terms of fic i already started posting, there's my one terror WIP with amnesiac tozer that i swear i WILL finish one day... and same goes for my good omens music & lyrics AU, which i fully expect to pick back up and finish off when i inevitably return to the fandom for series 2.

as far as stuff that never made it out of drafts, i started a hodgson-centric fic a few weeks ago that i got like 4k into before realizing i need to seriously refine my approach. so hopefully after exe fest i will get around to that!

16) What are your writing strengths?

well i am funny. so i've got that going for me. other than that ummmm i don't know. i don't think of myself as a particularly good or strong writer bc i really am just here for a laff. i think i can turn a phrase well and get the most out of imagery; i'm good at coming up with compelling story concepts and weird gimmicks, i guess?

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

i fundamentally don't know or understand how People Actually Act And Feel so i have a hard time getting realistic or interesting reactions and conflicts out of characters. my plots (when my stories have them at all) are very powered by external events, i wouldn't call myself a character-driven writer by any means. for the same reasons i struggle with voice and dialogue beyond superficial signposting via vocabulary/syntax. also, sustaining a long story/finding enough Stuff To Happen to fill it up/having the patience to keep writing... is something i need to work on for sure.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i'm a lame american who only speaks english so honestly i don't really have thoughts!

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

i distinctly remember hand-writing in my notebook two or three pages worth of a story about what happened to the main precog in "minority report" after watching the movie when i was like seven. the first fandom i actually wrote fic for and posted it online was probably doctor who circa 2010 ish? but my warrior cats RP career predates that by a few years and i did a LOT of writing there. oh warriorsforest39 dot proboards dot com you are missed....

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

SEX GHOST AU! SEX GHOST AU!

tagging folks :))) @laissezferre @titleleaf @theburialofstrawberries @girdedheraround @flanneryoconnorfanfiction @wreathedwith if u want!!

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pokedash55 · 4 years

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Acronix X Coffee Robot Crack AU

SUGGEST READING MY ECHO MEETS ACRONIX FIC BEFORE THIS

IT BUILDS ON THIS WACKY WORLD OF MINE

Click for Echo Meets Acronix Fic

To summarize//TL;DR: Acronix falls out of the time vortex at the light house a befriends Echo Zane, learns empathy and put Echo on Social media so everyone knows he exists now.

-After he leaves echo zane with a borg watch he finds himself back in Ninjago

-Stalks borg and his fam like a creep

-Jay introduces Echo to the dyer family

-Echo and unagami are siblings now

-Acronix is kinda like Echos big brother

-But no one else accepts this

-Zane and Pix give skeptical and menacing, “if you touch him” glares

-Unagami is confused babi and likes their new brother echo

-So Like One day it’s Borg, Pix, Zane, Jay, Unagami, Echo, and Milton dyer, and Acronix in a room together (Fic on that later :3 )

-The whole fam

-Nixie just lingers around borg tower saying random junk sometimes

-Acronix : “You either die a villian or live long enough to see yourself become…”

-Pix: “A very annoying customer who is about to be escorted out of the building?”

-“UH NO. Wrong answer Pix (“dont call me pix”). REDEEMED. Cause I’m like… totally redeemed now”

-Just holds up a high five for the room and left hanging by everyone

-Jay’s like :Yeeeoree not part of our group”

-So like Acronix and Echo Zane are bro’s now cause I said so??

-Everyone: Nix is part of the Borg Family

-Me: Well YES, but actually no

-This isn't really a Future thing

-In this they're mostly frenemies kinda??

-But Acronix does really like him and borg tower and Borg is too nice to throw him out XD

-Acronix has zip money and doesn’t FEEL like looking for Krux rn

-Gets his morning coffee everyday bro

-Starts crushin on the Coffee manager (naming her shannon after the voice actor)

-His routine is basically wake up, coffee, Shannon, stalk borg, watch memes, think about looking for kux than fall asleep on phone

-Posts bout his lil bro alot (echo)

-Posts about Shannon ALOT

-Many many selfies of him an his coffee

-Realizes he may need to get someplace to live since he had yet to venture for krux

-Shoot money is a thing he doesn’t have

-Borg be super kind like, “You can stay at my Newly renovated highly advanced Borg Hotel but you must get a job.”

-Acronix gestures at being one of those technology intern clerks at borg industries. “Is for me?”

-”Must get a job AND leave my family alone…. For now… please?”

-Borg is too nice to the guy who kidnapped him and is infatuated with living at borg tower

-Does borg live in borg tower?

-Gunna say he does

-Cause Acronix just LOITERS in borg tower 24/7

-Like its like hours after closing of the downstairs shop and Pix is like getting her suit on and forcefully escorting Nixie out of the premises

-So anyway Nix has to get a job

-Ugh entry level Jobs are SO beneath him.

-Pouts uwu

-Gets a job as a barista to at least have fun with someone cool

-Ronin notices that sales have gone up in the coffee shop since Acronix has started hanging around there, because the girls think he’s pretty and he posts a lot on social media.

-Ronin wants this, but doesn’t want to have to actually pay Acronix for being a faceman.

-Hires him “as a barista”. Basically he hires Acronix to sit at the counter and look pretty, while giving the joint free advertising.

-Acronix totally doesn’t notice this and is fine with being completely exploited and underpaid.)

-Acronix X Coffee Bot! (In this she’s named Shannon)

-Shannon is like… chill and rude, but never offensive

-Cheats in chess

-Smug about it too like deamn she mean

-Epic moves (Both spinny sign and juggling. And makes epic coffee)

-Unflinching at a fire

-Complete apathy

-Throws "Floyds" teapot plan away immediately cause she doesn’t get paid enough for this sh*t

-Says she doesn’t drink coffee but than is seen drinking coffee that lier

-Bad habit of Ignoring stufft. Ignores the upgrade, ignores her lie detector, ignores the fact the -machine is literally ice frozen

-She wears a miniskirt and a crop top/bra thingy to WORK. On the clock! savage

-Nixie is confirmed to get crushes easily and like powerful/ mean woman (Machia)

-Also he has no shame in liking nonhumans

-Love technology so would totally vibe with her

-Robotsexual for sure

-Powercouple

-Since she is still A.I, so Nix’s outgoing and I don’t care i'm great loud personality would really surprise her and she’d be inspired/impressed by his lack of chill and lack of care

-She has a bit of sass and goth hot topic to her but also still has that robot innocence that would blend nicely with Acronix since he is also Abrasive and rude on the outside, but is a tad of a softy coward (He hugs his bro and cowers behind him and gets adorably defensive when he snarks at him)

-He’d teach her so much about being more alive… maybe a bad influence but she’d dig it

-He calls her Shay almost constantly

-He hates being called Nix

-Like he is a prideful warrior who expects people to use his full name in respect

-But Shannon is too cool for that

-Calls him Nix sometimes anyway

-Respects her boldness

-The audacity to do so without permission!

-Shannon owns a motorcycle because come on

-Ridin home on a sick bike together

-Stealin stuff when people aren’t looking

-Banned from Ronin thrift shop for sure (they're lucky they weren't fired after that night. But he literally can't fire shannon)

-Chill on friday nights at Laughys karaoke.

-Not singing, just laughing at how stupid other people look singing drunk kareoke

-So a jock dork egotist and a apathetic punk bot walk into a bar

-Dareth honestly doesn’t know this guy was the one sending snakes after his trophies so he just treats him like a normal costumer

-Neither of them care about Dareth’s attempts at small talk.

-Too busy loving themselves like idiots

-She kicks his ass in strategy video games and he destroys her in battle royal stuff

-Both are equally bored by like Animal crossing and other fake life games YAWN so much work

-Shannon enjoys the thrill of racing games

-Nixie plays em but it’s not his best game

-Both GEAMMERS (but in a frighteningly cool way. They somehow both avoid nerd status… nixie still a dork tho. Jock dork)

-She makes coffee art of her hubbies face.

-He gives her so much social media attention

-Acronix gives her coffee shop media rep and he loves the petty feeling of beating Wu at something

-She doesn’t quite get his excitement in it (cause she’s on neutral terms with Wu) but loves the media attention

-She doesn’t get his phrases and he finds that both aggravating and endearing

-“Um I’m Aconic”

-Shannon: “So you’ve been lying about your name this whole time?

-Acronix: “...?”

-“That's honestly sick”

-Acronix “… “

-One day they joy ride on a motorcycle

-End up loitering around borg tower

-Borg officially meets Shannon and is interested in her origin

-Her design is not like he has seen but it also seems familiar

-She says she doesn't remember much other than working for ronin

-"Ronin" borg mutters spitefully

-He has a history of y'know.. Messing with his tech (dismantling pixal and selling zane hmmm)

-Does a diagnostic code scan

-Acronix worried bout his bae and hyped he was actually invited in for once.

-Progress on that "friendship"

-He discovers her model and general code is similar if not almost exactly the same as pixal’s code

-Ronin scrapped together with some mechanical help from his friends the walkers to make a functioning robot manager with borg tech he scrounged up and a stolen copy of pixal’s blueprints ( maybe he took pictures of them when he sold her to chen) and specs so he wouldn't have to pay for multiple employees. Just having the one really efficient one would save him thousands

-So shannon is pixals sister

-And her parents are The walkers, Ronin, and borg

-The family tree only grows people

-So Acronix is apart of the ninja family now if he marries Shannon

-Here's a chart if you're as confused as I am here:

-Anyway Shay doesn't really care much

- Her expression doesn't change

-She had never really gone out of her way to worry where she was from so it wasn't a huge revelation

-It was to nixie tho

-As the extravert he was (and has extensive experience of being a sibling) he had to make sure she got to know her new family NOW

-Like in the middle of the night now

-He never waits for things to happen

-Pix is first and she is about to power down for the night when...

-DOOR SLAMS OPEN

-"Hi SIS!!" Acronix just screams

-"hey. I'm like your sister now." Obvi shannon is more lowkey about it

-Shannon and pixal mildly get along

-Questions her taste in men alot

-Acronix chills in the back already bored and ready to move on.

-Although he's annoyed by them, the ninja were next up

-Zane and Jay are both family now

-Shannon starting to think he's using all this to fill the void of his brother being gone.

-Cause she has no interest for or against meeting these people but Nix sees it as urgent

-But he seems happier than usual so she'll let him throw her name around for a while. She did mooch off his social media so it was only fair

-Anyway eventually Acronix does find his brother, and tries to explain this whole mess to his less-than-thrilled twin

-God once Krux gets back tho

-“Hey bro! I married a robot she’s amazing!”

-He’s just taking selfies with her in hot topic outfits both of them

-“God no my brothers Robotsexual. My worst nightmares have been realized”

-Krux can only stare in horror at the people his brother now considers “family”

-Wu’s students?!, Robots!?, what EVEN IS AI?!?!?

-He eventually gets over it

-eventually maybe

-At least he can admire her attitude

-Will still mess with his bro tho.

-This is the worst timeline imaginable.

-But I can't apologize for art

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anxietylord · 3 years

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Tagged by @marzipanandminutiae thank you friend!

Name: Crow or Anxiety, lymongrab on AO3

Fandoms: I’ve only ever written for Pacific Rim, Gotham (it was years ago), and the greater Batman universe

Two-shot: I haven’t really done any two-shots, just one shots, a one shot collection that I’m pretending isn’t a multi-chapter fic, and a longfic, so I guess I’ll just pick my favorite true one-shot which is this Pacific Rim NewMann one. Quite proud of this one though it mostly flew under the radar compared to my other stuff.

Most popular multi-chapter: My Love Me Dead “one-shot collection” of Scriddler pieces, which, if we aren’t kidding ourselves, is a multi-chapter fic. (It’s a bunch of events that happen in linear order in the same universe but don’t really have a specific overarching plot).

Actual worst part of writing: finding time to do it without feeling guilty about not working instead of enjoying my hobby 🙃

How you choose your titles: I descend into Hell where Satan himself personally tortures me and then hands me the most stupid, mediocre, half-assed title that’s some dumb song lyric or stupid summation. I then come back to the mortal realm and cry. (I hate titling, can you tell?)

Do you outline: For long fics, yes, for one-shots and drabbles I’m a pantser.

Ideas you probably won’t get around to but wouldn’t it be nice:

-I DESPERATELY want to dip my toes into some DS9 writing, maybe Garashir but probably Quodo. Hopefully I’ll actually get to this, but probably not till the late fall bc I’m super busy and finishing my one shot series/the server challenge coming up needs to take priority.

- I’m also thinking about maybe doing a lil Reanimator Herbert/Dan (is there a ship name for that pairing?) at some point, but I haven’t quite figured out their dynamic yet, so that’ll be a ways off.

-I really wanna write more Sinnerverse Scrids one-shots or short series outside of the long fic, or maybe even some genderswapped Scrids where they just stay as Jo and Ed because I love them so much.

-I’m a lil interested in writing some non-Gotham Pengy or even Harvey (I’ve been feeling Two-Face recently, he’s an interesting dude).

Callouts @ yourself: WORK ON PATRON SINNER. WORK ON PATRON SINNER. WORK ON PATRON SINNER. WORK ON PATRON SINNER. WORK ON PATRON SINNER. WORK ON PATRON SINNER. WORK ON PATRON SINNER. WORK ON PATRON SINNER. WORK ON PATRON SINNER. WORK ON PATRON SINNER. WORK ON PATRON SINNER. WORK ON PATRON SINNER.

Best writing traits: Hmmm I guess from what people have told me, characterization (People like my Newt and Hermann, and also my Jon and Ed, and weirdly enough my Fish Mooney when I used to write for Gotham), I’ve also been told my work is very “evocative” since I spend a lot of time on details, people also like that I made one of my characters turn off the stove and put away the food before I let them make out 😂

Spicy tangential opinion: Let your characters do scary and horrible shit if they’re villains! You can make a character cartoony and flamboyant AND STILL LET HIM HURT PEOPLE. In fact, that makes him even scarier when he does. (Can you tell I’m talking about someone in particular lmao) Also ‘NoT eVeRy ViLlAiN NeEdS a TrAgIc BaCkStOrY’ Okay literally why are you even writing villains then? The whole fun of them is exploring the question of how an otherwise average person got to this point? Also not every villain needs a redemption arc just let them be evil and sexy. These are all just personal preferences for what I write and read by the way. If your disagree with any of these that’s totally fine and I’m not trying to start shit, just my hot takes personally.

Obvi no pressure but could be fun tagging @acapelladitty @korereapers @pinkiepiebones @camprocklobster since I think y’all are my main fic writing pals (Although I’m sure all of you have already been tagged in this hahaha)

#bird boy writes #bird boy squawks #tag game

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spcncershybrid · 4 years

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Surprise You’re Older- Spencer Reid Imagine

GIF IS NOT MINE

SPENCER REID X READER

BAU TEAM X READER (obvi platonic unless you want to date the whole BAU team,, I don’t judge.)

(Summary: Its your birthday! The BAU teams throws a surprise party for you, a well deserving FBI agent who puts the bad guys away!)

(A/N: So um This is in honor of today being my birthday so like I wanted to write a birthday imagine!!🥳🥺 it’s still a reader insert fic because i said so. Also this was originally supposed to go up on my birthday (aug 4th)but I didn’t finish:(()

I wake up staring at my off white ceiling smiling softly. 52 weeks, 365 days have accumulated to this one day. My birthday! I hear my phone ding and turn over seeing the message.

‘We have a case babe. -Spencer, my phone broke.’

No ‘happy birthday y/n!’ I never expect it but usually Penelope messages me first excitedly. Come to think of it no one sent anything.

I sadly stand up slowly and groggily walk to my closet and bathroom slowly getting ready for the day. I step out and eye my clock. Shit I’m late. I run downstairs and jog to my car quickly getting in and drive off to work. I walk into the bullpen hastily setting my things down and jog to the debriefing room as we get started on the case. “Sorry Im late, I hate Virginia.” I say laughing as I took my seat. “Make sure it doesn’t happen again Y/L/N.” Hotch says sternly. “Yes sir.” I nod towards him as I look at my case file. “We my ballistic buddies are headed to New York!” Penelope says. “Wait Pen there’s no pictures?” I ask looking at the file confused. “No it is all written work. The crime scene people sadly couldn’t get photos.” She says. I nod slowly. “I’ll give you guys a moment to read it.” She says sitting down in one of the chairs. Yikes a couple killed while celebrating a birthday. No identification either. “So these victims weren’t ID’s so why are they calling us in?” I ask as I read along the lines. “They believe it can escalate to serial. We will go to see if we can give them a good answer.” Hotch says standing. “Wheels up in 10.” He says walking out of the room. Everyone slowly follows behind leaving Spencer and I. “I didn’t get my daily kiss big guy.” I say nudging him with my elbow. “Sorry.” He says kissing my forehead. “So what are you doing later?” I ask him. “Nothing special I might just relax and read.” He says packing his stuff away. Did he really forget? That’s like majorly impossible. “Really? You don’t have anything planned.” I say hinting towards the idea of today being my birthday. “Why would I? There’s nothing special about today. Speaking of today see you on the jet.” He says closing his bag and walks out of the room. “He really forgot.” I whisper to myself sadly as I pack my things. I head to my desk and grab my go bag.

I step onto the jet and head towards my usual seat. “Garcia will be joining us for today.” Hotch says as he sits in his usual spot. “Hey you okay?” Emily whispers as she sits next to me. “Yeah Em. Let’s Just say I’m having a rough day.” I say staring out the window. She gets up and sits next to JJ. Thanks Emily. For a bunch of profilers they suck at seeing others issues. “When we land Reid and JJ, you guys can head to the M.E.” Hotch say gesturing to them. “Morgan, you and Y/L/N can head to the crime scene. The rest of us can head to the station and set up.” Hotch finishes as he reads his case file.We land in New York safely. Morgan and I head to one of the parked vans and head to the crime scene. “Why is it empty? Derek are you sure we’re in the right place? There should be tape surrounding here.” I say pointing out the obvious flaws in this crime scene area. “Yep this is where Hotch and the NYPD said to go.” He says placing his hand on his head. “Wait Y/L/N, what is that?” He asks pointing to something. I slowly walk over to it. A letter? “It’s a letter Morgan. Should I pick it up or is that obstruction of evidence?” I ask as I eye the paper. “Pick it up.” He says walking over to me. I pick up the paper and examine it. “Red Lobster?” I questioningly say as I read the paper. “That’s a food place. Why would we need to go there?” Derek asks confused. “Not sure but let’s go I guess.” I say heading towards the van.

We drive speed over to the nearest Red Lobster and head inside. Derek and I pull out our credentials and show it to one of the workers. “Hi we are investigating a case and a something was laid out informing us to go here. Has there been anything suspicious that has been brought here?” I ask a tall brunette girl. “Yes here.” She says handing me another letter. “Derek if stuff was this simple we’ll be out of jobs.” I say as he leads me outside. “Do you understand this unsubs M.O? I’m so confused.” I sigh asking Derek as I hand him the second note. “We should head to the station and see what they have so far, Reid and them are probably way ahead.” He says as he drives off. I nod in agreement and stare out the window. This is one hell of a birthday so far. Catching an unsub who leaves notes and no case pictures.

__________________

“Morgan are you sure we’re headed the right way?” I ask turning towards him. “Positive but this GPS isn’t working well with me.” He says gripping the steering wheel. I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I fish it out and answer. “Hello?” I ask. “Hey it’s me.” The familiar voice of my boyfriend echos through the phone. “We’re having zero luck Spence it would be a damn miracle if this case gets solved.” I sighed sadly. “We’re slowly figuring it out over here. Are you and Morgan near?” He asks. “I think Spence. I honestly have no clue cause I’ve seen the same diner about five times.” I say aiming my sentence towards Derek. “How about you drive?” Derek says pointing towards the wheel. “Just make it safely.” Spencer says laughing softly. “I will Morgan drives like a grandpa.” I say laughing as I hung up the phone. “Okay youngster how about you drive next time.” Derek says laughing. “You got jokes geezer.” I say smiling widely as I turn towards him. Our laugh fest is cut off by Dereks phone ringing. “Yep Hotch.” He says answering the phone. “Okay we‘ll be right there.” He says nodding to no one in particular. Hotch says something inaudible and Derek hangs up the phone. “Where are we off too?” I ask confused. “The station. The address JJ gave me before was wrong. But before we go there we have to stop at another place.” He says driving quicker. “Wake me up when we’re there.” I ask leaning into my seat. “Of course.” Derek says as he turns the corner.

__________________

I feel myself being slightly shaken awake. “We’re here.” I hear Derek say as I open my eyes. I look out the window taking in my surroundings. “Derek this isn’t a station, it's a house.” I say looking at the house in front of me. “I know hard heads get up.” Derek says opening my side door. “Close your eyes.” He says as I step out. “If your going to murder me Morgan just know I’m a respected FBI agent.” I say laughing as I shut my eyes. He scoffs in response and grabs my arm guiding me to what I think hope is the house. I hear a door unlock and a soft tug on my arm. I hear a light flicker on. “Surprise!” I hear a chorus of voices yell towards me. I open my eyes quickly seeing my team standing with party hats and party poppers. I smile widely as I look around at them. “Happy birthday baby.” Spencer says smiling as he walks up to me wrapping his arms around me. The group takes turns giving me a hug and slowly disperses. “Oh my the cake! Where’s the cake!” Penelope exclaims running into the room. “Oh crap we forgot the cake.” JJ says placing her hand over her mouth in shock. I laugh softly. “It’s fine guys!” I say happily looking at them and their disappointed faces. “Fine but there are definitely presents!” Penelope says pointing towards me as she backs into the kitchen. They all huddled together on the couch, me in the middle, and slowly handed me gifts.

__________________

“Woah Rossi this is sick!” I say smiling as I open his gift. “The kid was telling me about how you wanted to start cooking. What better way to set you up than to not only combine the BAU’s two greatest things, my books and my face.” Rossi says smiling as the team softly groans. “This is from Jack and I combined.” Hotch says handing me a box. I rip the wrapping paper off revealing a framed picture and drawing. “This is supposed to be Spencer, you, and Jack. It was that time you guys babysat him. The drawing is a Jack original piece.” Hotch says smiling. “Hotch I love it. Tell Jack I said thank you.” I say smiling. “Me next!” Penelope says excitedly springing from the couch, handing me a bag. “Worlds baddest BAU babe?” I question as I read the shirt Penelope got me. “I ordered something different but it’s arriving late. Expect a huge box.” She says apologetically. “Pen if it’s bigger than my front door I will hit you with it.” I say laughing as I remembered last years gift of a giant framed painting she got me. “Then I should probably cancel it.” She says sheepishly. “My turn~” JJ says in a sing-song type voice. “This is an exclusive piece made from the bare hands of my family and the jewelry store.” JJ says handing me a bag. I quirk my eyebrow at her words smiling softly. I pull out the contents revealing a drawn painting signed by Henry and Michael, and a small bracelet. “JJ this is beautiful.” I gasp taking out the bracelet. “You seemed sad when your other one broke on the field so Will and I made a trip.” She says smiling at me. I look at her thankfully appreciating the bracelet. “Time to upstage you all.” Derek says clapping his hands together. “That’s never good.” Rossi says under his breath. “I got you and pretty boy over there a joint thing.” He says standing up smiling over to Spencer. I look over to Spencer confused as he blushes profusely. “I got you two a special Derek Morgan exclusive trip to one of my friends resort places.” Derek says spinning around. “Holy crap Morgan seriously.” I say glancing towards Spencer who has his head in his hands, still blushing. “Don’t worry it isn’t the place where Elle got arrested.” He says pointing to us, raising his eyebrow. “Okay okay my turn.” Emily says softly pushing Derek into the couch as she hands me a box with holes. I open the box cautiously smiling wide as a small black kitten peeks its head out. “I saw your face when you took care of Sergio and I know how hard it was for you two to part. So I present to you Sergio 2.0.” Emily says laughing at my shocked expression. I gush at the kitten as it meows at me.

__________________

I smile widely at the kitten's cuteness for a moment. “Okay my turn before the kitten steals you away.” Spencer says standing up. The team gets up from the couch and exits the room. “I kind of wanted to do this on the resort trip but now seems worth it.” Spencer says digging into his pocket pulling out a velvet box. “This isn’t a marriage proposal but it’s something similar. It’s a promise ring, I want to make you the promise that one day when the timing is right I will replace it with an engagement ring properly.” He says getting on one knee opening the box. “Spence, it's beautiful.” I gasp as he stands from the floor. “I promise to you Spencer Reid that one day with different rings we would be saying our vows in the same positions.” I say smiling as he slides the ring on my finger. “Wait, this looks familiar.” I say examining the ring. “You left your computer tabs open so I took a shot in the dark sorry.Spencer says shyly, scratching his head. I smile at him softly and hug his waist. “I love you.” I say into his shirt. “I love you too ever since our conversation about Alice in Wonderland.” He says kissing the top of my head. “That was so long ago!” I exclaimed, laughing as I slapped his arm softly. He smiles at me widely. The team enters back into the room taking a seat at different spots in the living room. “Wait, the whole case was fake right there isn’t a psycho in New York?” I say standing up from the couch abruptly. “I hope not we’re supposed to be celebrating a birthday.” Rossi says taking a sip of wine. Suddenly Hotch’s phone rings and he exits the room. “If it’s a case I so hate the BAU right now.” Emily says sighing. “Nope it was a surprise pizza.” Hotch says reentering the room. “Yay!” Penelope says standing up grabbing a slice. Hotch laughs at Penelope and hands out slices. “Did you know-“ Spencer starts but I cut him off with a kiss. “Not now.” I say smiling against his lips. The team laughs and we all spend the night eating and drinking the celebration away.

#criminal minds #criminal minds imagine #spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader

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burninghoneyatdusk · 4 years

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Hi, I have a random question (sorry if this has been asked before) & I don’t want you to think this is criticism or anything, I’m just genuinely curious cause you have so many WIP at once. But why do you work on more than one fic at a time? Like wouldn’t it be easier/faster to just write one story at a time? Or does your inspiration just not work that way? i.e. like writer’s block & whatnot. I just don’t think my brain could ever juggle multiple things like that but obvi everyone is different.

huh. tbh I never really thought about this although I know some authors work on multiple stuff and some focus on one.

my answer is probably a little strange because since June, I’ve been working on multiple fics & prompts because of the @t100fic-for-blm (formerly bellarkefic-for-blm) initiative. It kind of took the choice out of my publishing schedule because I committed to publishing in the order I receive the new prompts and WIP update requests.

Before the initiative I had 3 WIPs on ao3 - so to answer why I did that I guess it’s like you said, just how my writing inspiration works for me. I find that it takes the joy out of writing if im forcing myself to continuously write one fic, especially if I’d rather be writing something else.

So I guess opposite of you, my brain works better when I juggle multiple things because I think, like with a lot of things in life, sometimes I need time to miss a fic to appreciate it. Then it feels more fun to come back to and in that break, while thinking about the fic, I might have new ideas.

But since the initiative, I don’t get to pick what/when (or at least what order) I publish. I know a lot of people would probably hate it but tbh I’m enjoying it in that it’s challenged me creatively and kept me on my toes, switching between multiple WIPs and new prompt one shots. Right now I have 16 prompts in my queue - 8 new prompts, 8 WIP update requests. So I’m constantly outlining/brainstorming the ondeck prompts and writing the one due next. Idk maybe I’m weird but I find it fun and more motivating. Maybe it’s because it holds me accountable to someone else.

Sorry that was a lot of rambling, I hope that answers your Q - I will say, I don’t think it makes it faster for me to write one story at once. I suppose that particular story would he published in a shorter amount of time, but I’m still spending the same time writing something regardless.

#bellarke fanfiction #bellarke fanfic #writing #fanfiction #burninghoneyatdusk #asks #anon

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mieczyhale · 4 years

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some random klaus / dave / klave smut and affection and angsty hcs (as of: 8/25/20)

klaus *lost his virginity at 14 *his first time was non-consensual *he was very high but also had a level of awareness. when he tells people he doesn’t remember it’s a lie. he does remember. not all of the details but enough - images of a location, the feeling of hands belonging to someone bigger than him, the pain. the crying that left his eyes red and had his siblings rolling their eyes at him the whole next day, avoiding him because of course klaus was high. he never corrected them *started having sex in exchange for money / drugs / shelter mostly on accident. some guy pays you for sucking his dick in the alley behind that one bakery’s dumpster, where the wall is warm, and things just.. escalate quickly *(it actually started when he was younger than that but he doesn’t want to get himself in trouble and he’s not a snitch so, for those reasons, it’s totally the time above that starts it. and it’s totally an accident) *he really is into a lot of kinky shit. there are things he isn’t into of course but he reaches a point where: if it’s something the person he’s with wants and they’re a client - if they pay enough there’s a good chance he’ll go with it. if they’re a partner - he’ll still go with it. because what he wants or doesnt want doesnt matter, as has been shown to him over and over and over again. people give him the illusion of choice, asking, but klaus knows better *so a lot of his kinks do come from trauma and things from his time on the streets that he won’t talk about but he doesn’t care. and if somebody tries to get him to talk about it because it’s “not healthy” (side eyes ben) he will exit the situation IMMEDIATELY *his biggest kinks, the ones he genuinely loves and doesn’t need to train himself to get off on, are choking, being told what to do, and getting his hair pulled. also: he has a daddy kink but he never brings it up. if whoever he’s having sex with does then fine - but he wont *a few of the ones he trained himself to enjoy and now actually does (usually) are hitting, degradation, humiliation, being tied up (until his kidnapping), getting pushed around and forced into position (he tells himself its like being told what to do only a little more aggressive. or a lot more aggressive. tomato, to-mah-to) *is very vocal during sex - not always genuinely *very good at talking dirty when he’s in the mood to *l o v e s sucking dick and is v pro at it dave *lost his virginity at 29 *klaus was his first.. everything *he’s been kissed before - once, when he was younger. he didn’t know her name and he’s pretty sure she didn’t know his. she didn’t ask before kissing him. part of him is still a little disappointed that was taken from him but he feels like admitting that would be pathetic *he doesn’t really know anything about sex - gay sex anyway. living through the homophobic 1950′s and 1960′s doesn’t exactly give a teen or an adult a real way to learn anything. he has a basic idea, and sometimes as a teen his brain would get uhhh creative, but that’s all *listen.. dave katz has a big dick and we all know it *he’s also very sensitive. everywhere. it’s annoying and embarrassing up until klaus gets his hands on him *and he’s not super vocal but he isn’t quiet either - he’s a fun and sexy in between *discovers he really likes sucking dick - not great at it yet but his enthusiasm makes up for that easily *is soft but also a dom-in-training klave *their first time is the same night we see them kiss in saigon *dave tops their first time, and a lot of the time. it isn’t until after they get out of vietnam and to the united states, in that era or 2019, that they try switching *everything about dave makes him seem like a top but klaus finds that putting dave on his stomach really changes that vibe quickly *the first sex act that klaus introduces dave too their first time is blowjobs. klaus loves having a dick in his mouth and dave’s is *incomprehensible noises* so he asks if he can blow him. dave admits to not knowing what he’s talking about and klaus is suddenly the cheshire cat *dave is the first ‘relationship’ he’s had where the other person actually gave a shit whether or not he came at all, let alone every time. *unlike with all previous partners klaus is very vocal in bed with dave and he’s never had to fake a thing *”dave loves making klaus flustered to the point of begging, but it has the drawback of him getting hard whenever klaus gets whiny, no matter the location” - hc brought to my attention by @anglophile-rin and i love its o much *they actually have a fair amount of semi-public sex and not all of it is initiated by klaus *dave doesn’t have any kinks that he’s aware of but he’s more than willing to try out anything that klaus wants to do *they find out together that dave is definitely into Some Things

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

KLAVE SMUT?? HCS?? IDEAS?? (a few snippets from a discussion on the topic between myself and the angel, the yee to my haw, the legendary @cowgaykermit )

“i think for klave, a kink klaus didn't realize he had that is kind of tied into the daddy kink is a praise kink. he loves making dave proud of him. but he's never had someone he wanted to make proud before, not until dave” - sara

“i'm sad about dave's kiss too : ( i was originally going to go with 'dave has never been kissed at all', because he was at least kind of aware of his sexuality and didnt want to risk leading a girl on (cuz he's kind like that), but the 'being kissed without your consent' stuck out to me more. maybe its the angst, maybe it's the personal experience..s. plural. idk but it felt like it made more sense???” - mace

“also would any of his kinks change after the torture? like he's always been into being tied up but now when dave tries it he has a flashback and he swears he doesn't know where five is“ - sara “no yeah if dave tried to tie him up, even if klaus suggested it (either not aware of the extent of his trauma mentally / emotionally or aware but thinking he could handle it) klaus would be right back in that motel room - beaten, covered in burns from lighters and cigarettes alike, cut, going through withdrawal as his dead brother stands in front of him and tries to lecture him - begging to be untied and let go, breaking down in a way he hadnt let himself during the real situation because he really doesnt know where five is. he really doesnt know anything - and dave would immediately untie him and try to bring klaus back from wherever he’s gone mentally that sounds so so terrifying-“ - mace

“and YES!! 100% dave is down to try kinks and things. he doesnt know any but klaus suggests ones he thinks dave might enjoy, and ones klaus himself really gets off on. he offers up more intense ones, more advanced ones, later on - over time - not because he particularly likes them but because he wants dave to have the chance to try everything that sparks an interest in him” - mace

“a supportive dave is the only true dave i think. like... can you imagine?? dave not supporting klaus in something??? unrealistic.” - mace

“like i don't mind fics where dave has some experience but yes klaus being his teacher and being nice and gentle with his teaching unlike when he was "taught"“ - sara

“dave asking klaus if whoever taught him was as kind and nice as klaus was to him and klaus not knowing how to answer that because obvi the answer is a resounding no but having to explain it, including his age and how he doesn't remember his first time fully and all this other stuff and he knows itll make dave sad and he can't have that because then dave is sad . also he wants dave to think nice things about him” - sara

#this isn't everything but tbh when i sit down to list out hcs i have i tend to forget everything. and that's what happened here #so i did my best to compile the ones i could remember - and the ones i remembered with the help of one (1) gay kermit #and instead of trying to fit it all into bullet points i just threw some quotes from our convo together #that i think cover things a bit more. this convo is actually much longer and ongoing but i really do not want to share the entire exchange #gotta keep some things secret ayye lmao #anyway. if / when i remember more hcs for this topic i will reblog with add-ons #but for now: hi #my anxiety over posting this is A Lot l m a o #mytuaposts

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ladyalice101 · 5 years

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jonsa fic recs

alright, i’ve had a couple requests for recs, so here is my list. these are all fairly recent fics, all written this year i think. all of them are from my bookmarks on ao3, but i picked the recent ones which are my god-tier recs, my oh-my-god-i-love-this-so-much-i-think-i’m-going-to-die, the ones i reread. they have very little in common, but if you don’t find anything on here that tickles your fancy, then feel free to check out my bookmarks. i have just over 100 on there, and every single one on there are fics that i think are absolutely phenomenal.

for @abi117 @why-cant-i-be-careless and @orangeflavoryawp

canon divergent

Victory by moutainsbeyondmountains. one-shot, 5489k.

“You won already, Your Grace,” Tyrion said mournfully. “Enjoy your victory. There are no lands left to conquer. And there are no more dragons.”

if you read no other fic on this list, read this one. seriously. it’s d.ny pov, and glorious. genuinely, i couldn’t give this high enough praise. i reread this A LOT. like, a lot a lot. i could probably quote this fic.

I Want Something so Impure by @asilentfrenzy. one-shot, 10166k.

“You have caused this, you and your queen. You allowed her to speak to me that way, allowed her to order my obedience in my own home as if I’m to be her new dog to train. I am the Lady of Winterfell, and your inbred aunt has no right to-”

“Aye, you are the Lady of Winterfell,” he growled, his eyes flashing with an added flame of fury at the mention of the woman’s newly found relations to him. “The same Lady of Winterfell who not too long ago advised me to be smart, yet it seems that you can’t follow your own advice.”

“Be smart,” she repeated, filling her face with a look of mocking humor. “By kneeling? By allowing her to seize my title and command my people? Perhaps I should offer her these chambers as well. Better, I’ll just offer them to you again, seeing as I’m sure you’ll be sharing a bed. Shall I fuck her as well? As I want to be just as smart as you, Jon.”

so if you couldn’t tell from the summary, this one is sassy af. it features darkish/dominant!jon, which is my jam, and is pretty much just 10k of smut, which is also my jam.

it’s a small crime, and i’ve got no excuse by mxash. 5/5, 8214k.

“did you see her?” sansa snarled, a hand come to pull at his collar, pulling his mouth down only hairs from her own. “your targaryen queen has dressed as though she was a whore to catch your eye.” jon smirked as she bit his lip. what was this? dany had almost recoiled in her disgust and shock, but she hadn’t been able to pull herself away from the horrific sight. my lover and his own sister.

this one serves some dark!jonsa realness, and it deserves more comments/kudos. it is written entirely in lowercase, but don’t let that distract you. the characters are dark, and devoted, and who doesn’t love d.ny catching jon and sansa fucking? seriously, this one is a must-read.

Dark in Bloom by @orangeflavoryawp. oneshot, 8304k.

"His gravity wavers, the axis of his world tilted to the measure of her lips." - Jon and Sansa. The stain of desire bleeds slowly between them.

yeah orange, i’m reccing one of your own fics to you. seriously though, this is just like ... mindblowing. i cannot overstate how much i love this one. i literally will just randomly remember it sometimes, when i’m just going about my daily business, and i’m like “shit, that fic by orange was a masterpiece. love it.” so, yeah, if that doesn’t tell you how much i love it, then idk what will.

what i’m asking by @amymel86. oneshot, 1173k.

"I'm not here to talk about that," Theon says, setting off another, thankfully smaller coughing fit. "I'm here to talk about Sansa."

Jon can feel the blood drain from his face. "Is she ill?"

Theon shakes his head, lifting his eyes to Jon as he coughs into his fist. "No," he finally says, his lungs giving him a small reprieve. "The Queen is in her prime. Which is why you are needed."

okay, ya’ll obvi know of amy. she writes so much fantastic fic. but i feel like this one kind of flew under the radar? which is a CRIME tbh. this fic was so ... it was so heartbreaking, but in the best way. it’s not that divergent from canon, bc the main thing that is truly different is that theon lives. seriously love this fic.

A Toss of the Coin by Paige242. one-shot, 3793.

Years after the war, the Queen in the North and the pardoned Queenslayer welcome their first child. Old traits emerge, and Jon worries about this Dragon in a den of Wolves.

ok, so this is a future fic where jon and sansa married. i don’t even know how to describe this one. it isn’t jonsa focused, but that doesn’t make it any less brilliant. it is so unique, and i’m yet to read another fic that explores the idea of one of jonsa’s kids inheriting some targaryen madness. there IS a part two, which was just as amazing. pls do yourself a favour and read this!

Choose by @esther-dot. oneshot, 5630k

“I know the cost of our loves. I know too well how they fall on the scale, one outweighing the other. I know what you tried to tell me. I know.” She was looking at him now, and he was afraid, but he would say the words that he had been unable to silence. “I never had the chance to choose you, but I would. I would choose you every time.”

THE DIALOGUE IN THIS IS INCREDIBLE. i just reread this to try and find my fave quote, but i actually can’t even pick. there are just so many amazing conversations, between sansa and jon, sansa and d.ny, arya and jon .. ugh, the list goes on. love this, please read.

Wink Wink, Nudge Nudge by alltheshinywords. one-shot, 3187k.

Post 8x03, slightly AU. Tormund and Jaime inexplicably find themselves becoming matchmakers when they notice a certain chemistry between Jon Snow and Sansa Stark. Extreme fluff and silliness.

this one is the least angsty on the list, and honestly it’s just such a good time. i remember reading this while s8 was airing, and honestly it was just so light hearted that i laughed out loud several times, despite being heartbroken over what happening in the show.

canon, but alternative universe

leave behind a love story by aetherae. one-shot, 9562k.

Maybe if things had been different, they wouldn't be like this. They would be worse.

ok, so, despite the summary, i naively went into this expecting a happy ending. yeah, so, no. however, this was one of the most interesting fics i’ve read in a while, because each universe it explored was so different to the ones i usually see floating around. and the writing was SUPERB.

i fell in love with a war (and nobody told me it ended) by mountainsbeyondmountains. one-shot, 18752k.

In which the North and the South have been at war for years, and Sansa unexpectedly finds herself on the run with a certain Targaryen bastard.

this is an avatar/bender au, and it is GLORIOUS. after i read this, i promptly devoured every other fic this author has written bc i loved it so much. the bending is just a backdrop to the amazing enemies-lovers this fic delivers.

modern au

Fuel and Fire by @zarahjoyce. currently 4608k, 4/?, WIP.

"You see?" Sansa says, smiling now. "If you really have to have a room far away from me, seems like you need to move into a different hotel." As an afterthought she adds, "Or to another planet."

"Bet you'd just love that, wouldn't you?" Jon asks her.

"Loads," she snarls.

He takes a deep breath, all the while just looking at her.

Truth be told Jon will give anything in the world to be able to just-- just--

Jon and Sansa, and all the tropes applicable to them.

All. The. Tropes.

ok so zarah in general writes AMAZING fic, they’re always so creative and inventive and i’m always genuinely shook by the fic they write. but like, this one is the god tier one BC TROPES.

when we kiss: mmmm, fire by @dancemajicdance. 8/8, 39705k.

Sansa might be seeing someone casually, but thanks to Arya, Robb, and Theon, it’s Jon who’s got the inside track on how to get Sansa to take him seriously.

aka: the one where jon finds out that sansa has a daddy kink, and he uses it to seduce her away from the dating scene and into his arms, heeeey-oh!

yes yes, it’s a daddy kink fic, and it’s fucking glorious alright. if that’s not your thing though (even though i’m pretty sure this fic is EVERYONE’S thing) then please, for the love of god, check out the rest of their stuff on ao3. you won’t regret it. even though they don’t write much jonsa anymore, the prolific contributions they HAVE made will go down in history as some of the best jonsa ever written imo.

As Long As We're Going Down by @alienor-woods. 9/12, currently 42228k, WIP.

Four years after Stannis Baratheon wins the Battle of the Blackwater, Sansa Stark finds herself summoned back to King's Landing to serve as a bridesmaid at Crown Princess Shireen's wedding. When King Stannis tries to marry Sansa off to his illegitimate nephew, Edric, she thinks quick and tells him she's already married--

--to her bodyguard, Jon Snow.

i actually don’t know how to explain how much i love this. it’s written so beautifully, and it’s so realistic and just ugh. read it. the adaption to modern royalty is the best i’ve ever read, and the characters are very raw, and very realistic. (also, yes, the characters have gotten together at this point in the story, in case you were scared of committing to a wip without the satisfaction of some hot and heavy scenes).

#jonsa #jon x sansa #jonsa fic #fic rec #jonsa fic rec #actuallyjonsa

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koala-otter · 4 years

Text

the teacher and the scientist au: worldbuilding

I am writing some original stuff right now, and as a break where I can keep writing, I’m going to explain some of my worldbuilding/choices that I make when it comes to my modern “the teacher and the scientist” AU. The hope is that it will be fun for others to see what goes into a fic, or give people ideas for their own fics!

*a quick note: I am a white Latina! I have no East Asian heritage! I studied for a while in Beijing and speak Mandarin Chinese fluently, so I kind of defer to my experiences there when making worldbuilding choices in fic (because I believe strongly in writing what you know, especially given the damage you might cause by writing what you don’t know), but will also do research online or through friends on other countries and cultures that inspired the four nations in ATLA. But all of this is just to say that while I do put a lot of thought into this stuff, I am by no means the authority on any of it, and I am open to criticism and of course always want to make sure I’m not doing anything harmful with my writing. I promise to listen and adapt if you approach me about literally anything in my fic or in this post.

Ok now let’s get into it!

1. The setting: Ba Sing Se’s Natural History Museum This is based on a combination of the Beijing Museum of Natural History, the American Natural History Museum in New York, and Beijing’s Forbidden City/Gugong. Beijing I think is probably the biggest inspiration for Ba Sing Se with the ring system and centering of the palace (and I mean the Earth King’s palace is pretty directly based off of Tiananmen Square), so it seems like a pretty solid model for a modern Ba Sing Se to me.

2. The field trip I went on so many field trips to the Natural History Museum when I was little, and they were always the absolute most fun of the year. And I feel like we went to the planetarium basically every time? It was kind of fun to recall and try to capture the experience of being a little kid on this trip in this fic

3. The Lower Ring & the Middle Ring I put Zuko and his students as coming from the Lower Ring for a few reasons. Firstly, I couldn’t imagine Katara and Aang living in either the financial district that is the Middle Ring or the ostentatiousness of the Upper Ring. I think if they were in Ba Sing Se they’d work and raise their family in the Lower Ring (I will be getting into their jobs in later installments of this story, so I won’t explain them here!), which means Bumi goes to school in the Lower Ring, which then means Zuko has to work there in order to be his teacher and for this entire concept to work out (and also the reasons explained in the actual fic where he lived there with Iroh and wants to give back). And the museum is in the Middle Ring because I wanted it connected to the university, which canonically is in Ba Sing Se’s Middle Ring.

4. Sokka as an astrophysicist Because Sokka is a smart kid and a huge science nerd, okay??? And Yue and the space sword. It makes sense. Also, because Ba Sing Se = ATLA’s Beijing, I think of Ba Sing Se University as Beida （北大）or Peking University, which is China’s first national university and one of the most, if not the most, selective university in the country (disclaimer: I did not study at Beida!!). But yeah BSSU is the Earth Kingdom’s most illustrious university and one of the best research institutions in the world, and Sokka’s a tenured professor there. My boy’s world-class brilliant.

5. “Teacher Zuko” Ughhh I really struggled with this. Basically, I was taught in learning Chinese to address teachers as “Surname 老师 (lao3shi1),” which is “Surname Teacher.” But! I didn’t want to give Zuko a surname, because that seemed rife with opportunities for missteps (there’s a lot that goes into surnames of literally any country or culture, from geography to family history and occupations, and I didn’t want to co-opt anything that wasn’t mine to use). So I knew the kids would call him by his first name. But “Zuko Teacher” sounded off. And in Chinese, titles like Mr. or Miss or Mrs. go after one’s surname, while in English it’s the opposite, so I figured for this fic it was appropriate to implement the English convention. So! “Teacher Zuko.”

6. Sokka’s appearance Sokka’s one of those hot, young professors that appear only in popular media, or once in a blue moon. He finds out from Katara that white sneakers are an easy way to look in the fashion know while remaining marginally professional for class, and they become a staple of his uniform. I picture him in Stan Smiths. (And of course they’re a little beaten up! It’s Sokka!)

7. The gaang’s ages Okay, so, I can’t find the actual post where this is broken down, but I think canonically it makes sense that Katara and Aang were 22 and 20, respectively, when Bumi was born. I put them in this fic at being maybe a year or two older in this fic, so let’s say 23 and 21, when they have Bumi, in Katara’s second year of med school. So when this fic takes place, as Bumi is six years old, they are 29 and 27, and Sokka and Zuko are then 30 and 31.

oh my god we’re only 700 words into a 4,000-word fic why did I decide to do this to myself

8. Sokka looking at his watch and having a penchant for exact minutes He’s a master scheduler. That’s it.

9. “My Uncle Mushi lives in Chin City” This was just kind of an opportunity to integrate more from the ATLA universe! Obvi “Mushi” is Iroh’s refugee alias, but whatever another kid can have it, and yeah Chin City is that terrible village with all of those wacky people from “Avatar Day.” So we know the kid’s uncle is wacky. Fat chance of going on a field trip to visit him.

10. Zuko calling Bumi talented There’s that scene in the episode where they go to the Sun Warriors that Zuko calls Aang “a talented kid.” Bumi’s Aang’s son, so I figure by the transitive property Zuko would describe him the same way.

11. Zuko’s scar I don’t know why but I often forget to mention Zuko’s scar in other fics! Either way, I find kids usually respond to people’s differences better than most adults do. Kids just see things and comment on them, which, yeah, can be rude by societal standards, but I’d imagine it would be very refreshing for Zuko after going much of his life with people trying to avoid either staring at the left side of his face or talking about what happened. Also, I didn’t really want to get into the cause of the scar. Obviously Ozai did it. I don’t have an idea of how. Other fics have done that better. Explaining it within the fic the way Zuko would explain it to his class seemed like a good way to tell the reader, “Hey yeah it’s the same cause as in the show,” but then not have to get into it.

12. Sokka hates intro classes Ughhh no one likes intro classes, and I’d imagine it’s even worse for professors. Prerequisites are often too easy for the kids intending on majoring or too hard and meant to weed out the kids who can’t stick with the department’s program. College is funny.

13. Aang volunteers in Zuko’s class From what I can tell, parental involvement in schools is only getting bigger. And Aang is a great dad and I think he’d take any opportunity to get involved with Bumi’s school.

14. Zuko’s backstory I should probably take the time to explain this! Basically I think of this story existing in a universe where after they moved to Ba Sing Se under circumstances comparable to their being refugees in the show, Iroh and Zuko actually stayed in the city, and Zuko got his education there. And yeah! My boy went to BSSU, too!

15. Stargazing at the South Pole and seeing the moon at the North Pole Oh my god the pure amount of thought that went into this. I worked with the assumption that A:TLA takes place on Earth, and that then the rotations of Earth, and the rotation of the moon, are the same as what we experience now (I’ve thought about this extensively, especially as it pertains to the hemispheres and the seasons, but I don’t want to talk about it here, we simply do not have either the time or space). So the South Pole is essentially the same as our Antarctica/South Pole, except that it is capable of sustaining human life for an extended amount of time, and in theory has greater biodiversity (clearly I have also thought about this extensively, but again, we have neither the time nor the space for my theories). I had to read a NASA report on the phases of the moon as seen from the South Pole! And it turns out you can’t see much of the moon down there, and it is always in crescent form. but yeah, you see a lot of stars (but in the opposite rotation of what we see in the Northern Hemisphere), and I thought that was intriguing, especially given the importance of moon imagery throughout the show. Thus, Sokka’s first seeing the moon in the Northern Water Tribe, which ties in perfectly with his meeting Yue, his first love: “You could say the moon was my first love.” (Which someone pointed out in a comment on Ao3, and it absolutely delighted me that they noticed!)

16. Pipsqueak Just looking for more people from the show to serve as first graders in this fic. Someone commented that they pictured him the same size as he was in canon, and I laughed out loud.

17. Tuyanjing I was trying to think of constellations that look like badger-moles, and I honestly just thought, “Ursa Major. Badger-moles look like giant bears.” And “Tuyanjing” (土眼睛) is my own translation of “earth eye,” which was meant to be a nod to the animals’ connection to Toph and their blindness and earthbending.

18. All the stars & mentioning the Fire Nation & Water Tribe navigation I was initially going to write something in this scene about ancient constructions, like the pyramids, that were built using the constellations, and then create some elaborate metaphor about them and Zukka. But the only coherent thought I had about it was that it was “Too Much Work.” Instead I realized okay sailors always use the stars for navigation, and the Water Tribes and Fire Nation are the only nations we’ve seen with boats, so let’s go for that, and it works out because if you squint maybe you’ll read something about the stars guiding them to each other. Maybe we’re evoking thoughts of star-crossed lovers. And then we mention the moon again, and Zuko’s really seeing it for the first time, kind of like Sokka did, so hey I don’t know maybe that’s a symbol of something. Maybe.

And that’s really it I think! Hopefully this was at least entertaining if not entirely informative. I don’t normally write stuff out like this, but it is a good reflection of my thought process while writing most fics. Again, I am open to any kind of communication about the above as well as anything else I’ve posted! And I’d love to hear about any of your own ideas that help you with worldbuilding and writing your own fics :)

#atla #writing stuff #my writing #zukka #the teacher and the scientist

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lampmeeting · 4 years

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since i can now do this ldsfk 1-Metalocalypse (obvi) and 2 Chickles back at you :3

oh HELL yeah *rubs hands together* okay this’ll be long so i’ll do a cut

Favorite character: PICKLESSSSS

Least Favorite character: everyone says rockso and like I GET IT he’s revolting, but my ultimate least-fave is toki’s dad. fuck that old man.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): CHICKLES, HAMMERTOOTH, uhhhh (what else is there?? i’m kidding) nathan/abigail, charles/magnus, nathan/toki

Character I find most attractive: oh fuck don’t do this to me. i have too many types!! i can’t pick! fuck. i’m just gonna say charles. even though it’s magnus. wait. no. it’s pickles. charles. toki. fuck. magnus. i can’t do it dfkgjhf

Character I would marry: realistically?? like, i would say charles but unless i’m a member of dethklok i’m gonna be getting like .02% of that man’s time. honestly i would pick toki or nathan. toki would be so sweet and attentive, all the huggings and kissings, awww. nathan i feel would be the same, but only in private. you gotta kinda work on him a lil bit haha.

Character I would be best friends with: my heart says pickles but my soul says murderface. i would FOR SURE laugh at one of his off-hand under-his-breath comments because that’s just what i do, i fucking laugh at everything, and he’d be like OH? someone thinks i’m funny?? and then my life would never know peace (in a good way)

A random thought: i wanna hear all the dethklok albums from before the show started. like that album where their abs were airbrushed, wtf did that sound like?

An unpopular opinion: season 4 was good. :O i feel like i hear the sentiment from quite a few people that season 4 on the whole was bad. i love all the seasons equally actually.

My Canon OTP: CHICKLES. may i present to the court, exhibit A *points to my icon* (shhh no, let me dream)

My Non-canon OTP: toki/magnus :’) i think this is just about as non-canon as you can get, really. but the heart wants what it wants.

Most Badass Character: DEFINITELY charles.

Most Epic Villain: sorry, mags... salacia.

Pairing I am not a fan of: i think i’m willing to at least entertain most any ship. i’ve read some interesting things for sure. i draw the line at seth/pickles though (i’m glad that doesn’t really seem to exist anymore? it was around more back in the day).

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): aside from magnus and abigail, who both needed WAY more screen time?? i would say dr rockso in a sense. he was sort of that kooky rascal you wave your finger at when he gets in trouble, and then they had to go and do the whole dory mclean thing. and i get the point of the episode, but after that i wasn’t rooting for rockso anymore and he kinda became more of this sinister kinda figure? i dunno. i think that whole angle could’ve been done away with and it would’ve been a lot better. also him trying to fucking drown toki in the christmas episode. 8( ouch, man.

Favourite Friendship: probably nathan and pickles, since they’re the lynchpin of the whole outfit.

Character I most identify with: pickles with some toki on the side. :’) ahhh.

Character I wish I could be: i wanna be that girl that nathan was dating for a while, the one the boys end up befriending and playing scrabble with. i want to be their friiiiiiiiiend

OKAY CHICKLES TIIIIIIIME

When I started shipping them: WELL....okay so i actually just went back and looked at my old deviantart account and the first drawing i did of them (yes i’m linking to 14-year-old art pls don’t judge me) was on Oct. 18, 2006, so like...the dethfam episode hadn’t even aired yet. god damn. there was someone in the sausage festival livejournal community who had drawn the two of them, and then i fucking went ravenous for it real quick and it became like the only thing i drew for months hahaha. i had been nickles up until then. :O

My thoughts: MY THOUGHTS??? this is so vague. i have many thoughts. uh, for one? they’re perfect together? the straight-laced workaholic and the lazy degenerate? yes please, gimme. they’re like yin and yang, opposites attracting. and yet i feel like, once they get past that, they realize they’re both so similar at their cores. and pickles helps charles loosen up, and charles gives pickles some structure. they both give each other someone to lean on when shit gets bad. pickles can be a surprisingly good caretaker when he wants to be. :’)

What makes me happy about them: everything?? i really don’t know how to adequately describe just how much i love them and just how much that means hahah... you ever ship something for 14 years?? i know some of y’all have. it gets in your blood. that’s like over a third of my life right there. not to be dramatic or anything hahaha but they’re important to me. that ship helped get me through some rough months back when i lived alone in a crappy apartment, and it’s hilarious to me that i’m getting back into it hardcore like i was back then considering everything that’s going on right now, just current events-wise and personal stuff-wise.

What makes me sad about them: god damn, anything about those 9 months charles spent “dead”. anything post-doomstar. anything snakes ‘n barrels where they’re together for a short time and then never see each other until charles becomes dethklok’s manager. pickles pining after him for like a decade after the band forms. or charles pining, having to watch pickles party and do drunks and sleep around. or BOTH of them pining and not realizing it, or REALIZING IT and not acting on it because what if it hurt the band somehow? maybe charles wouldn’t want to jeopardize it but pickles would be okay with it, and charles would have to be the one to say no. ahhhhhhhHHHHHH

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: oof, i agree with you here, Ash. i’ve read a couple fics where, like, the bdsm aspect wasn’t even fun. i probably know the exact fic that left a bad taste in your mouth because there’s one specific one i’m thinking of that left a bad taste in mine (actually two...). like i had to actually get up from the computer and go do dishes hahah... uck. but yeah. don’t like charles being abusive to pickles. i think pickles does like some punishment from time to time, and he definitely has some daddy issues. but i don’t want it to get fucking sinister haha y’know? pickles, at his heart, is a good-times guy. he likes good feelings. he wants to feel nice. and charles, at HIS heart, is all about service.

Things I look for in fanfic: are they in love or just hooking up?? i mean i’ll take either at the end of the day, but i’m a romantic and i need the love, i crave it.

My wishlist: give to me all the fics about snakes n’ barrels chickles. how i haven’t written one baffles me (though i did have that huge plot write-up from months back haha...i should turn that into a real fic sometime). would also love a huge fic about their marriage, complete with canon-typical buffoonery. fics about them retiring together. ;0; fics about them just having nice peaceful moments. literally just.....any fic haha...

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: my soul literally begins to shatter apart if i consider them ultimately ending up with anyone else hahaha... other relationships can come and go, but at the end of the line i need those boys to be together. <3

My happily ever after for them: after galaktikon II, dethklok has kinda run its course. the band uses their near-infinite resources to help rebuild the earth. shortly after, it’s pickles who proposes in a surprising turn of events. shaken after the battle, he doesn’t wanna waste any more time. they get married barefoot on the beach probably in like fiji or something (pickles’ idea) with friends and family present (the okay ones haha, also magnus is there with toki because this is my dream, damnit). pickles has white flowers in his dreads in lieu of a bouquet. T~T everything goes well, no one crashes the wedding. they have a lovely honeymoon there when everyone else leaves. pickles says he’s decided to retire from music, but it’s not long before he’s working feverishly on new music in the home studio at their new place. some real expansive stuff. he’s kinda doing it as a weird therapy, coming to terms with some stuff. he never gets clean but he’s not using drugs and alcohol as a band-aid for his problems quite so much anymore. charles retires from managing bands (he doesn’t have the heart for it if it’s not dethklok) and ends up doing the adjunct professor thing whenever he gets bored. but he practices guitar a lot, pickles teaching him some advanced stuff, they jam together sometimes. he takes up sailing because it’s something he’s always wanted to do but never had time for. after pickles releases his first solo album, charles takes him on a long, romantic sailing trip. everything is perfect, everything’s gonna be good forever. 8′) forever. the end.

#SORRY THAT HAPPILY EVER AFTER QUESTION REALLY ACTIVATED ME #i went into a trance i think hahah #anyway thank you T~T i love ranting about them #insomniac-pens

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harrieatthemet · 6 years

Text

When Anna Left

ok so... I'm so nervous to post this??? ew. This whole ass fic has been sitting in my drafts for almost a year so I just hope you guys like it ): obvi theres more than one chapter lol but don’t be shy to let me know if its EVEN WORTH a read or if its ~garbage~ my ego and feelings shall not be effected thx

One

There was always that feeling, something between bittersweet and complete tranquility, that would settle over him at the end of a tour. There wasn’t much else in the world that could put a smile on his face comparable to the one he’d get up on a stage, gallivanting around with a mic in his hand as people quite literally screamed his name.

No piece of clothing fit him better than a custom made outfit, ones that had flares at the bottom of the pants, or glitter embodied on the entirety of the shirt. Maybe frills, sometimes, or a nice sheer blouse that gave a sultry display of the ink etched into his torso.

At times, he’d think about how nobody loved him quite as much as the sea of fans, some crying while others mouthed along to songs that he had just put so much of himself into. He’d always said that touring was the best bit, his favorite aspect of what he does. Something about being on a stage, in front of thousands who were there just to see him, it was electrifying. He was grateful for sure, endlessly grateful, and he’d constantly ask himself how it could possibly get any better than this.

Then, he’d come home. And he’d realize that, walking into the quiet lull of an empty flat, that a little blissful silence was one of the things that could get him to smile. When he’d drop his bags, lazily hurling them beside the door before assuring he’d tend to them later, he’d head towards his bedroom. He was ready to trade in his black skinnies for a pair of joggers, ready to toe off his boots and face plant onto the made up bed. When he’d given up the jeans in exchange for some loungewear, he’d realize that maybe comfy clothes fit him better than any designer dress pant.

Getting too comfy wasn’t in the cards for him, not now at least. He knew Anne was going to pop in, probably any second now, and she’d take one look at the bare fridge and empty cabinets before toting him off to Waitrose. But he did allow himself to plop down in the living room, nestling himself into the comfort of his favorite spot on the sectional. He knew in a few days, he’d be bored. Time off was good, he’d have to remind himself of that every now and again, remembering all the mindless hair tugging and droopy eyelids after a long night of writers block or a grueling travel schedule.

A sweet knock would carry through the flat, telling him that his time to sit and laze around was up. With his socks sliding against the hardwood of the first level hallway, and his eyes lazily glazing over the few paintings or framed photos he had hung on the walls, he made way to the front door. It was Anne, he was sure of it. Gemma too, maybe, if she had found a little time to come and welcome him home.

“Hi mumma.” His tone was silvery, out of sheer enjoyment and comfort to have a familiar face around.

A wide, eye twinkling smile came from her, inviting herself in. She was quick to cup a hand to his jawline, fingers resting on his cheek before she smothered it with sweet and fluttery kisses. His face scrunched up, a smirk dancing on his lips because it didn’t matter to her that he was 28 now, he’d always be the baby and she’d carry on treating him that way for as long as she lived.

“Cleanest I’d ever seen it.” She chuckled, traipsing further down the hallway.

“Give it time, yeah?” He teased, “Only been home fo’ a few hours, if that.”

She sent him a couple tsks, scolding him because she knew once he really got settled in, things would go haywire and this place would turn upside down. She’d joke with him about the last time she’d visited, before he was whisked away to tour, how the place was a frantic mess. Articles of clothing were draped on the backs of the couch, dishes in the sink had been carelessly piled atop one another, and she hadn’t even dared take a look in his room. He wasn’t usually messy like that, in fact, he tended to be very neat and tidy. Liked to keep things in order. She had placed the fault at his work ethic, how he had most likely devoted any (if not all) time to finishing up an album, or spending perhaps too much time tucked away in a sound booth with a journal and a pen glued to his hand.

On her way to the kitchen, in between some other pointless banter, he followed behind her as she very seriously expressed to him that it was important he kept things, at least, a little clean. ‘A clean home equals a clear mind’ she reminded him, and he wouldn’t come with a rebuttal, just an inaudible chuckle and an affirmative nod of the head. His assumption was right, about her poking her head into the cabinet, and the fridge there after. A smirk would tug at the corner of his mouth when she’d get a glimpse at the empty shelves in the refrigerator, a soft gasp slipping from her mouth.

“Well,” she sighed, hurriedly closing the fridge doors, “some groceries might be in order, yeah?”

He shrugged, which earned another tsk, before she encouraged him to slip on a pair of shoes so they could head off to the market. And she’d be trailing behind him now, scuffling her heeled shoes along the floor as he went to the front closet to fish out a pair of sneakers. On their way out of the door, keys jingling in his hand as he locked the front door behind him, he’d hear her poking around. She tried to be subtle, doing her best to be as quiet as possible, but the clinking of the weather-washed metal made it nearly impossible. Her head was dipped a little, hair covering the side of her face as she poked her fingers through his mailbox.

“See you haven’t been through your mail yet.” She mentioned casually, a little matter-of-factly as well, as the pair strolled down the block.

“Got a phone,” he let out a breathy chuckle, dangling his phone inches from her face, “important stuff gets t’me right here.”

With a raised brow, peeking over her shoulder at him as they rounded the corner of the street, she’d nod her head in defeat. She was being a little mischievous, it was blatantly obvious to him. She was never one to be nosey, go poking through his mail like that. She never had really ‘poked’ through any of his things really, not much when he was a child and definitely not as an adult. If she needed to know something, wanted to know something, she’d simply ask. And each time she did, he’d be willing to meet her with a plausible explanation or answer. That’s excluding all the times he had gotten into trouble, or got caught keeping secrets, as a kid. Then’d she’d go on and rumble through his things, unwarranted and unexplained with the right to do so.

Walking into Waitrose, after Anne had scooped up a shopping basket and asked Harry to do the same, they’d have to put groceries on hold each time someone would ask for a photo or say hello. He never really minded, not too much at least, and neither did Anne. And when a fan would saunter off, clutching their phone and withholding a scream, Harry refocused his attention back to his mother.

They were on the bread aisle now, as she analyzed a few of the shelves before tossing an item or two into her basket. And as she did that, he tried to muster up some good reason as to why she had just been elbow deep in his mailbox. She hadn’t brought it up since they had gotten here, and neither did he, because actually he was hoping she’d say something about it. Of course, she didn’t, which is why he was wondering now. Mail, of all things, when she knew he had an email synced up to his phone, as well as texts and all the other ways people could get in touch with him.

“Wanted t’ask yeh something,” she started, tossing a bag of grapes into his basket.

“Shoulda said tha’ before y’went digging through m’mail,” he smirked, nudging her with his elbow as they made way down a new aisle, “but ask away.”

She sent him a stern look, initially unamused at his joke. She was his mum still, even though he was all grown up and independent. And if she wanted to look for something in specific that was most likely in his mailbox, than why couldn’t she. But looking at his face, a toothy grin with eyes that just made her heart happy and proud, she’d involuntarily crack a smile.

“Was looking for something,” she clued him in, switching the weighed down basket onto the opposite arm, “wanted to see if yeh got an invitation.”

“Ooooo, an invitiation,” he’d sing mockingly, a lighthearted joke, “to wha’?”

“Just,” she was being very vague, “to a wedding.”

“Whose wedding?” His eyebrow was cocked, a little puzzled because he was sure he didn’t know anyone that would be inviting him to a wedding.

Her body got the slightest bit tense, her back straightening a little as she brought a hand to the strand of hair dangling beside her eye. She was quick to tuck it behind her ear, briefly pursing her lips together as she faced the fresh produce section. Maybe it was a bad idea to have brought it up. She hadn’t in a while, she had been sure to be careful not bring it up for so long that she had never mentioned it much at all anymore. Anne knew that regardless of the time that had gone on, it was still maybe a tad bit too touchy for him to talk about.

“A friend of mine,” she answered, cooly and nonchalant, “her daughter.”

“S’nice,” he nodded his head, reaching for a tin of cookies now, “do I know her?”

“Think so,” she hummed, “yeah.”

“So yeh gonna make me guess or are yeh gonna just tell me?” He joked, raising his brows at his mum as she gnawed at the inside of her cheek.

“S”uh,” she was tripping over words a little, “Christine.”

“Christine..” His words trailed, fishing for a last name.

Anne swallowed, “Aldridge.”

She didn’t know whether or not she should turn around and look at him, or keep his back to him like she was doing. He let out a short exhale of breath, sighing a little loudly, and then she’d turn to face him because she didn’t mean to drop a bomb on him like that so subtly and calmly. She knew it’d be a bit of a shocker to him, getting an invite to a wedding he was sure he wasn’t wanted at. Maybe not by Christine, since she had kindly extended an olive branch to him out of the blue, but by a sibling of hers. A sibling of hers that he hadn’t seen in a long while, so he wasn’t sure the kind of atmosphere he’d be walking into if he had the balls to show up.

Anne had known about the wedding for weeks, known about the invitation that had been sitting untouched and unacknowledged in Harry’s mailbox equally as long. Unbeknownst to him, she kept in touch with Lorraine all these years, as they had remained very good friends after the turmoil between their kids. They’d phone each other now and again, send messages via Facebook or any other social media site they were linked on. It was never a conversation with too much depth, just friendly banter. She’d never told him, in fear that he’d get a little upset, and maybe rightfully so. It’s how she had gotten an invite to the wedding, Gemma as well because Lorraine had a soft spot for her and so did Christine. But she meddled, Lorraine, she was a horrible meddler which is probably how Harry ended up with a wedding invitation that was more than likely beginning to collect dust while it sat stuffed in a little box outside his flat.

“Gem and I’re going, could tag along with us.” She shrugged, eyes doe-like and innocent.

“Musta sent the invitation to the wrong Harry.” He chuckled lowly, though his expression was still a little thrown and blank.

“ ‘Course not, love.” Anne frowned, pinching his cheek endearingly, “Lorraine asked specifically for yeh, wants yeh t’come. Christine, too.”

“Dunno,” he shrugged, shifting awkwardly behind his mum on the checkout line, “don’t- gotta think ‘bout tha’ one.”

Anne nodded understandingly, because she knew very well that it was a bit of a hard pill to swallow. She had no intention of pressuring him into going, because she’d feel awful if she ended up getting him to do something he wasn’t quite comfortable doing. The idea of going, seeing her in real life after being restricted to subtle thoughts or daydreams of her, made him jumpy and he could feel that uneasy feeling washing over him. Anne knew that bringing it up would send him into a bit of tizzy, which is why she didn’t do it over the phone or through a text. In person was best, she thought, as good as it could possibly get.

The duo endured the stroll back to his flat, bags filled with snacks and such, and they swayed in their arms with each step. Anne was doing her best to redirect the conversation, grappling to keep the thought put of Harry’s head because she didn’t need him to say anything for her to know it was consuming him. His demeanor had faltered, attitude a little glummer as he closed a part of him off to her. If he thought he’d go him and relax, he was painfully wrong, because now he was getting fidgety and uncomfortable.

Unlocking the door, a frown on Anne’s face as she silently stood behind him, he’d shove the thing right open before heading way towards the kitchen. The only noise between them was the chafing of the bags against one another, the sound of plastic rubbing together. Anne unloaded them onto the counter top, settling them there before digging through them to help pack everything away.

“S’everything?” She exhaled, hands placed on her hips in search of a filled grocery bag.

“Mhm.” He hummed boringly, pouring himself a glass of water.

He was lost in thought, and instead of badgering and pestering him to get him to open up a little, she thought it best to leave him be for a bit while he gathered himself. So that’s what she did, she gathered up her purse, then made way to grab her shoes by the front door. And she’d mumble something to him about popping into Gemma’s before her journey back to Cheshire, the zipper going up on her boot making a slight hissing sound. Harry’d bid his goodbye with a warm hug, pressing a kiss to her cheek before she wandered out and off to her car.

And now that he was by himself, watching as Anne pulled off and drove out of eyeshot, he’d b line it to the mailbox. Now it was him who was elbow deep in the mailbox, grabbing a fistful of all the untouched envelopes and what he assumed to be a few bills he needed to tend to.

He’d wait until he got inside to sift through the mail, to go looking for the invitation that was making his head spin. Carelessly hurling it onto the counter, the paper tumbling on top one another, he ran a hand through his hair before he got to work. His tongue darted out as he focused, wetting his bottom lip before it retreated back into his mouth.

At first he skipped right over it. Maybe because it wasn’t as big as the others, or it got stuck to the back of one of the small manilla packages that held one of his late night impulsive amazon orders. He wasn’t sure how he hadn’t seen it at first, but he didn’t.

It wasn’t until he dropped the little package on the floor, landing right on his foot with a little thud. And he couldn’t even give himself the time to wonder what the fuck was inside of it, what he had ordered that’d be so heavy but in such small packaging, because he’d see a small pink envelope wobbling at the end of the counter.

He was quick to grab at it, whisking the thing into his grip. Only a moment was permitted for him to take a look at the front, his name and address clearly written out in script with black ink. Then he was practically tearing the thing apart, his ring finger gliding through the folds to get it open. Slipping out the invite, the floral themed card with a baby pink background, he flipped it over to read the writing.

“Unbelievable..” He grumbled quietly to himself, eyes scanning over the writing once or twice to be sure he read it right.

One week. Of course Anne had been convenient and vague enough to have forgotten to mention that he only had a few days to come up with a final answer.

June 30th, he’d read it again just to be completely sure, like he hadn’t already read it four times before. His thumb lazily ran over the upper half of the invite, where her last name was written in an iridescent gold.

At first, as he stared down at the thick card, he was ready to phone his mother and confirm his attendance. Then reality began to settle in, as well as common sense. Flashbacks came back in waves from years ago, and the uncomfortable memory of how things had left off wasn’t too far behind.

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dylanobrienisbatman · 6 years

Note

Oooh blarke prompt! Sick fic or an exes to lovers but bellamy was the one to break up with clarke cause somehow it's almost always the other way around? 😘😘

AHHH!!! okay! I am SO sorry this took so long, but i finally finished! You can read it on AO3 here, or under the cut!

Caution Tape Around My Heart

Bellamy had always hated hospitals, his whole life he had hated them. At first it had just been in that way everyone did, the too sterile smell, the sick people everywhere, how there was always that one doctor who was sort of a dick but you couldn’t be a dick back because he was literally performing a procedure on you right then and there. But then, when he was 16, his mom died in a hospital, from a drug overdose, and that was the proverbial straw that broke the camels back. He was always on the brink of a panic attack when he was in hospitals, and the slightest thing would set him into a spiral that would take hours to come back from. And then, when he was 25, he found out he had cancer. He fell, playing soccer with friends, and the bruise just grew and grew and grew, over the next week, until it was almost his whole thigh, and he went to get it checked out, and they told him he had stage 3 non-Hodgkin Lymphoma. He was 31 years old now, and had been in remission for almost 3 full years, but his monthly checkups with his doctor still required an anti-anxiety pill beforehand and some serious attempts at meditation (recommended by his therapist that he had during treatment). It was his 2 year and 10 month checkup, post remission, and he was sitting in the waiting room at 945am, before his 1015 appointment, and his leg was bouncing up and down at full speed, and he kept continually having to wipe the sweat off his palms on his jeans. Any small thing was going to set him over the edge today, he had come down with a nasty cold last week and had convinced himself his cancer was back, had even called his doctor in hysterics (he had been assured that people just got colds, it was normal, but he asked to move his appointment up anyway), and so he was especially on edge.

Which meant Clarke Griffin walking into the waiting room REALLY was not what he needed today.

Oncology shared a waiting room with physical therapy, and she went to the check in desk on that side of the room, giving him a chance to quickly hop from his seat and find a spot in a corner, and also to be mildly relieved. She wasn’t here for cancer treatment, as far as he could tell, which… for all their difficult history, he wouldn’t wish that on his worst enemy. He studied her from the back while she waited in line. Her hair was shorter, but it had been almost 6 years since he had seen her, but other than that she looked mostly the same. A little older, but still the same.

Clarke was his first love, and the girl he had loved most. She had been in a class he was a TA for when he was a senior in college and she was a freshmen, and had made it her mission to challenge him on every single thing he said, and he had basically loved her instantly, in that way that made him angry at himself because she was so clearly irritating. They had figured it out, when she was 20 and he was 23, after almost 2 years of being inseparable friends, and he was almost positive he was going to marry her. But things didn’t always work out as planned, and he had broken up with her pretty soon after he found out he had cancer, for a lot of different reasons, and that had been that. She had moved away pretty soon after, from what he had heard, and he hadn’t seen her since they broke up, until this moment, in the hospital, while he was already panicking about his checkup.

Perfect.

He tried his best to shuffle down into his seat, and grabbed a random magazine off the shelf, pulling it in front of his face, but shocking literally no one, not even himself, it didn’t work, and when Clarke turned around, they made eye contact instantly. Her eyes grew to the size of small dinner plates, and she looked frantically around, he was assuming for some kind of escape route that wouldn’t look suspicious. They stared at each other for a second, and then he watched as she steeled herself a little, and walked over to him. He had been expecting acknowledged ignoring, so this was a shock. She walked slow, like she was trying not to startle some small forest creature, and plopped down in the empty seat on his left.

“Hi Bellamy.”

“uh… Hey. Hey Clarke.” He wasn’t sure you were supposed to say to an ex that you hadn’t spoken too or seen in 6 years. He didn’t even know what she was up too. “What are you.. uh.. what are you doing here?” He wasn’t sure if he meant in town or in the hospital… he figured whichever she answered would be good enough.

“Raven had physical therapy today… I just got back in town a few weeks ago and she asked me to pick her up today.” Raven had known Clarke was in town for a couple of WEEKS and hadn’t told him? Which meant his other friends probably knew too. Dicks.

“That was nice of you.” He said. He was sincere, but she scoffed. He wasn’t sure he actually blamed her, but he tried to recover. “No, really. I’m not… I’m not trying to be a dick.” She looked at him through the corner of her eye. They hadn’t actually made eye contact since she sat down, an awkward position for an awkward encounter. She smiled, wary but apologetic.

“What are YOU doing here?” She asked, glancing over him. He didn’t seem like he had an injury that required therapy, and he had never told her about his cancer.

“Uhh, i’ve got a… i’ve got a checkup with my oncologist.” Her eyes widened, finally turning to face him.

“You ha-“

“I’m in remission. I’ve been in remission for… a while. Just a monthly checkup. A few blood tests, a couple questions. No big deal.” He wasn’t sure if he actually succeeded at feigning the blasé attitude, but to be fair, he didn’t really care if she believed him or not. She wasn’t entitled to his story, not anymore. He felt a weird sense of rage grow in his belly.

“Oh.. Well.. congratulations.” Platitudes, meant for strangers and acquaintances. He wasn’t sure what category she was even in.

“Yeah… Thanks..”

They sat in silence for another minute, which felt like hours. He wasn’t sure what to say, and clearly neither was she. She opened her mouth to speak a couple of times before snapping it shut, and retreating back into her seat. She finally opened it again, and was about to actually say something when the nurse opened the door and called his name.

“Wou-“

“Bellamy Blake?” He stood up, but turned to face her. Eye contact was terrifying. He looked at her nose instead. He waited a second, and then turned, because she had clearly decided not to finish her sentence, and walked about 3 steps before she finally spoke up.

“Would you like to grab a coffee or something? I’d love to talk. To catch up.” He paused, and the nurse looked expectantly. He smiled at her, and turned.

“Yeah… uh… Raven has my number. Just… text me. or call me. or whatever.”

She nodded, a small smile on her mouth that looked almost forced, and he turned away from her and followed the nurse inside.

He was numb through most of the appointment, barely hearing what the doctor said. The real news came later, thankfully, when they called him in 2-3 days with the results of his call, so he wasn’t concerned, and he hopped on the subway home at around 11, barely even paying attention. Thankfully he didn’t have to drive. He really didn’t expect her to text, but at around noon, his phone rang, and an unknown number was CALLING him. He contemplated letting it go to voicemail, but his more impulsive side got the better of him and he answered it.

“Hello?”

“Hello… is this Bellamy?” Her voice was sort of shaky and unsure.

“Yeah, hey Clarke.”

“Are you busy right now? I’m at Ravens and she said you live close. I could meet you for coffee wherever.”

He contemplated making up a busy day, but he had taken off work for the appointment and he was just planning on lounging around his house and finishing up the new book he had picked up on the rise and fall of the ottoman empire, and that nagging feeling in his gut wouldn’t go away. He had to know, had to have a moment of closure even if it ended in a fight. He didn’t have high expectations.

“Nope, not busy at all. Theres a little local place on Atlantic and Smith.” She agreed, and they scheduled about 30 minutes out. He thought about changing into something else, but she had seen him this morning, and she would know. He didn’t want to give her the impression that he was trying to make himself look good for her. He ignored the way his heart was about to bust through his ribs and run across the room. He pulled on his shoes, tucked his book under his arm, fumbled trying to lock his door, and made his way there. He figured if he was early he could pick a good table, order himself a drink, and look reasonably comfortable before she showed up.

Apparently she had the same idea, because she walked in while he was ordering.

They stood awkwardly near the counter while their drinks were made, and settled into two comfy chairs in the back corner. She broke the silence after a moment.

“I just wanted too… I don’t know. This seems stupid now.” She looked at him for something. He wasn’t sure if she wanted him to contradict her or confirm her thoughts, but he didn’t even really know what he thought anyway.

“I mean… maybe it is. But were here now, so we should probably at least talk a little. No point in all this discomfort otherwise.” She chuckled, and some part of him, some 6 years hidden, 25 year old part of him, preened at making her laugh. The feeling hit him baseball to the face, and he didn’t know how to respond to it.

“Very true.” She agreed, which was a relief. “What have you been up too?” It was such a broad question to cover 6 years.

“I’m a history professor, at Columbia. I have been for about 2 years. I’m working towards my Ph.D. in their history department too, taking a few night classes and stuff. Living here, obviously.” It felt so pedestrian, talking about his job with the person who used to know him best in the whole world. “You?”

“I.. uh.. I just moved back. To the city. I have a job as a curator at the Brooklyn Museum. Finished up college, obviously, with my art degree… you know that you were there,” she was talking so fast, her nerves apparent. She hadn’t picked up her cup in a while because her hands were shaking. “…And did a masters, and I was working as a curator for a small gallery in San Francisco for about a year before I applied for this job. I am staying with Raven for a few days before I can move into my new place.” Another weird conversational standstill. She looked at him with this look that just sort of told him that she wanted him to ask something next. He just wasn’t sure what to ask.

“That’s great, sounds like the perfect job for you.” He realised this was somehow weird to say, because while she might not have changed that much, 6 years is a long time. She could be a totally different person. He didn’t know her at all anymore. He tried not to think about that. “I don’t know what to say, Clarke.” It was true. Their breakup had been gnarly, full of anger and cruel words, and resentment dies hard. And he held quite a bit of it towards her for the thing she had done.

“Bellamy I-“ She started but he cut in.

“Your mom called me “welfare trash” Clarke. To my face. And you just… stood there. We had been dating for almost TWO YEARS, and you let her call me that.” She shrunk into her seat. He realised that his words were still coming, a stream of things unsaid, things unresolved. “You let her tell me I wasn’t good enough for you, that my “status” in life would never be enough for you, and that you would leave me for someone with more money once you realised that I couldn’t give you the life you wanted.” She was welling up, but that just made him angrier. She didn’t get to cry about his pain. “And then you let her sit there, and tell you about how much better for you this man and that man and this girl and that girl, ‘some young lawyer maybe dear’ ‘perhaps doctor whats his nuts’. You let her humiliate me. And I just took it, and you apologised to me afterwords, but you never corrected her. You never stood up for me. And for the next month, you just let her keep it up. And at that point i already knew about my cancer, and you just… let her keep at it.” Her eyes widened. He hadn’t told her about the cancer. “And i know you didn’t know, but you didn’t need to know. I was your boyfriend and you just…” He trailed off, shutting his eyes. He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to calm himself down. He got his breathing straight.

“So I broke up with you. You clearly didn’t want to defend me to your mom, and maybe you agreed with her, maybe you didn’t, but you never told her. Maybe you did later, but you should have done it in front of me, or at least in the days following. And I had cancer, and I couldn’t pile that on to someone who couldn’t even stand up to her mom for me.” Her face was a maze of emotions, from distress, shock, and sorrow, to something heavy, like grief. He finally sat back in his seat and just… breathed.

“I’m sorry.” That was what he wanted to hear, but not at all what he expected. He almost dropped his coffee. “I was 22, and I know thats not an excuse, but she… well… its my mom. And that was when i still had this weird hero worship complex towards her. I didn’t know how to stand up to her back then. I didn’t know what to do.” He was sure he looked stunned, and maybe a little angry. “I’m not trying to make excuses. I’m not. I deserved everything you said back then… and everything you said now. You were everything to me, and i let her… i let her treat you like garbage. I just want you to… I don’t know. A couple of years later, when I finally got my head out of my ass a little, I confronted her about it. I told her you were… my best friend,” Her voice was shaky, like she was going to cry. He resisted the urge to reach across the table and take her hand. “You were my first REAL love. I had boyfriends, and girlfriends before you. And i loved them, sure. I loved Lexa, I loved Finn, kind of,” it was his turn to chuckle, “but you were different. And i just… I’m just sorry. I know i was wrong, and I’m just sorry. I wanted you to know that.” He wasn’t sure what to say.

“What did your mom say?” Was what came out, entirely unprompted by his conscious brain. He wanted to kick himself. She smiled, to her credit.

“She was shocked to say the least, but i think i got through to her. And a couple years after that I found out about her involvement with my fathers death, so we don’t speak anymore anyways.” That was the kind of bomb of information he wasn’t prepared for, and his subconscious took the opportunity, yet again over riding his conscious choice to maintain the appearance of not caring, to take control of his mouth.

“She WHAT?” Clarke shook her head, and suddenly the conversation flowed. She told him about her mom and what she had done, and that flowed into stories about their lives. The conversation was simple, nothing too exposing, except the story about her mom, and his story about his cancer. She asked about his sister, about his job, he asked about Wells and HER job, and they just sort of traded stories. It still felt weird, like talking to a stranger who somehow new too much about him to ever be a real stranger. The only stayed for about an 45 minutes, nothing too long or intense, but at the end he felt like a weight was lifted. They didn’t hug, or touch at all, when they parted ways, but he saved her still ‘unknown’ number in his phone during his walk home and he figured that was a start.

Over the next few months, she slowly reintegrated into his life. She was invited out for drinks every weekend, now that her friends knew that he knew she was back, and asked him to lunch so often that it was a scheduled thing now, to see her at work or on the weekends. But it was Raven’s birthday were it all came to a head.

Her “party” was just a get together at her loft, with all her friends and her girlfriend Luna, and when he got there it was just the two of them and Clarke. He dropped the 12 pack of beers and the pack of cupcakes he brought on the counter, and found them all three out on the balcony, drinking a bottle of red wine. He tried to ignore the way it stained Clarkes lips pink. He had caught himself thinking about her a lot the last couple of times they had spent time together. Their time together had gotten more familiar, easy like it used to be, and the way he used to feel, at the beginning of their friendship, so long ago was creeping its way back in. He had broken up with her out of rage, and betrayal, and in an attempt to protect himself from her, but it had been so long. Every time they spent time together, she would find a way to apologise again, to assure him that she knew, she knew she had been wrong, so long ago, she knew that what she had done had hurt him, and he felt the wall he had built being brought down, piece by piece. He tried his best to force it back up, to retain the barrier between himself and his feelings, but it was harder than he expected it to be.

The night wore on, and the beers got him fuzzy, and wine always made her touchy, and before he really realised it, her arm was around his waist, and they were sharing the recliner. He thought about pulling himself away from her, but the smell of her hair and the feel of her, warm and solid around him, was like every dream he ever had those first couple of years after she left, and the part of him that made good choices with logic was hiding behind that wall that kept shrinking down, and letting the part of him that led with his heart take the lead. So he stayed, pressed against her, letting himself feel it, letting himself maybe think that he could see past it. that he could forgive her. Her hand found his knee, his thigh, his arm, his shoulder, over and over again, and his brain just kept getting fuzzier as the night dragged on. When it was finally time to go leave, she hugged him goodbye, tucking her nose into the junction of his shoulder and his neck, and when she leaned back, she pressed up on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek, closer to the corner of his lips but not quite, and the place where her lips landed was on fire. She untangled herself from him and wandered out to go home, leaving him shell shocked.

She didn’t call him the next day, didn’t reach out at all, and he felt like he was going out of his mind. He picked up his phone at least 7 times to call her, and then put it back down. He wasn’t sure what to do with himself, just kept pacing around his apartment. He couldn’t find anything to distract him, and before he really realised what he was doing he was putting on shoes and grabbing his keys and catching the train to her apartment, his brain rattling around as he rode. He knew it was stupid. She had only been back for 6 months, but the anger of a 25 year old him, scared of dying, scared of loosing her, scared of not being good enough seemed... far away now. Far away from the 31 year old version of himself that was standing here now, missing this girl he had told himself it was stupid to miss. Longing for this girl he had made himself push away. She was just like he remembered. She was his perfect match. She was strong, and bright, and beautiful as he'd ever seen her, and full of so much joy. She was everything he ever wanted, just like she had been at 23, and 24, and 25. Just like she had been all those years in between, when he made himself ignore how he compared every person he dated to her. She was made for him. She was a part of his heart. She was his "One".He got to the door, and realised he had no idea what to do. He paced outside for almost 10 minutes, and was just about to ring her bell when his phone buzzed.

He pulled it from his pocked, and her name flashed across the screen. He answered it.

“Hey..”

“Hey where are you?” He paused, but before he could answer she kept talking. “I’m at your place, and you’re not answering your bell.” He couldn’t hold it together, and started laughing, right there on the street. “what are yo-“ He interrupted her through his laughter.

“Im at your place.”

“What?!”

“I was just… I don’t know. So i came to your place to.. I don’t know.”

“Just stay there,” she said, hanging up the phone. He stood awkwardly outside her house for the next 20 minutes until she rounded the corner and saw him. She stopped dead in her tracks at the sight of him, and then took of at a run, barrelling into him, holding him tight. He took a second to respond, and then wrapped his arms around her waist. She unhooked herself from him, and took him by the hand and led him into her apartment. He stopped just inside the doorway, and she turned to face him. “Look, Bellamy, I know it was all… a mess. And its only been a little while… but. It feels the same. Like it did at the beginning.”

“Yeah… it does…” He felt like he was betraying some small part of himself by feeling it all. By feeling it again. But they had alway been sort of undeniable. And the problems between them were so long ago, and so… gone. Her mom wasn’t in her life anymore, and she had finally stood up for him, even if it was a little too late, and she had come back, and apologised so much that he had to finally ask her to stop. He had forgiven her.

“i was so angry with you, for treating me that way.” She nodded, and him, taking both of his hands. “I dont want to feel that way anymore.” She squeezed his fingers, and kept her face trained and neutral.

“I understand… Forgiveness is hard for us. It always was. And this… this was big Bellamy. I know i hurt you. And I’ll spend as long as it takes to make it right again. I need you Bellamy. I always did.” Her sincerity was palpable.

“You were my person, Clarke. I never found another person in my life who was as good for me, as right for me, as much my other half… you.” A small smile finally creeped into her cheeks. “If we take this slow…”

“Glacial pace… I promise.” She took a step forward, just slight but enough to put her in his space.

“Okay.” He said, soft. She took another step, and pushed up onto her toes, slow. Waiting for him to meet her in the middle. He leaned down, and she pressed up just enough, and pressed a soft dry kiss against his mouth. She stepped back, faster than he maybe wanted, but he knew they made the right choice. Six years and all that history, they needed time, time to get it right.

And this time they would.

Together.

#bellarke #bellarke fanfiction #bellarke fanfic #bellarke fan fiction #bellarke fan fic #bellarke ff #the 100 #the 100 fanfiction #the 100 fanfic #the 100 fan fiction #the 100 fan fic #my writing #fic request #prompt #asks #answered

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gallantlio · 6 years

Text

I could write an actual fic for this, but idk, I felt like just briefly writing this idea out.

so, hear me out: promptis @ the beach boardwalk

Y’know like the beaches that have like amusement park type things on the boardwalks. The one I’m most familiar w/ is the one in Santa Cruz, CA, so that’s what inspired this kinda.

here’s a list of things i thought of:

imagine:

they can’t stand the heat so they hide in the arcade for half the day

obvi they’re really good at almost all of the games so they each end up getting a shit ton of tickets

while Prom is distracted playing one of the games, Noct goes and trades his tickets for a stuffed chocobo and uses his remaining few tickets to get those cheap plastic neon rings

Noct comes up behind Prom, hiding his presents behind his back

when Prom is done w/ a game, Noct shoves the plush into his arms and grabs one of his hands to stick the rings all over his fingers

Prom is conflicted b/c “why’d you spend all your tickets on me???” But also “wtf I love you, I love all these things even the shitty cheap neon rings, you know me so well”

Prom used to love wearing those rings when he was younger b/c he liked the colors n o s t a l g i a

Prom pays him back by using his tickets to get Noct a moogle plush and he uses his other few tickets to get jelly neon bracelets to match w/ him

he actually wears them

it’s around 4 when they’re bored of the arcade, so they put their plushies in the car and decide to take a nap on the beach

they lay out towels/blankets and stick a giant umbrella in the sand so they can nap and not get sunburnt

they find a place relatively far away from the crowd of people

this way they feel safer and can cuddle w/o assholes bothering them

it’s a really good nap b/c the sound of the waves is relaxing and their skin is pleasantly warm under the shade and they’re not sweaty

obviously Prom wakes up first even tho they set an alarm for two hours later

it’s still very light out b/c summer but it’s a little cooler out now

Prom cons Noct into waking up by bringing him ice cream and candy

Noct eats mint chocolate chip and Prom eats rainbow sherbet, idk

Prom also got cotton candy and gummy worms

it’s cheat day i guess he wanna go all out???

they eat the ice cream quickly and Noct steals some cotton candy

Prom goes on his phone and lets a gummy worm hang out of his mouth

Noct steals it w/ his mouth and eats it

gotta make it kinda gay at some point ofc

Noct is feeling lovey so he gets cuddly w/ Prom

Prom is worried about ppl seeing them so close to each other (b/c homophobes exist unfortunately)

“what are you doing???” “loving on my bf” “what if someone sees?!?” “there’s like no one here but if someone wants to be a dick then I can kick their ass”

eventually Prom feels comfortable and Noct kisses him

turns into a make-out session whoops

they stop at some point to look for washed up sand dollars and shells and like see who can find a good, whole one first

Noct finds a whole, abandoned conch shell and they decide to keep it

he holds it up to Prom’s ear: “that’s the sound of the blood flowing through your head” “stop ruining my childhood!!”

Prom takes a bunch of pics b/c he’s the photography king

he definitely takes some of Noct when he’s not looking

they don’t really wanna swim so they just let the water hit their legs

when they get bored of just sitting around, they finally go on the boardwalk to ride stuff

they go on almost everything

Prom’s fav is the bumper cars

they do it once w/ their own cars and then go again in the same one

Noct likes rollercoasters b/c he’s an adrenaline junkie and drags Prom onto all of them

they realize they should probably eat actual food that isn’t ice cream/candy so they take a break to eat greasy junk food, duh

they eventually get really tired and decide their last ride will be on the ferris wheel

while they’re on it, Noct ends up leaning over and kissing Prom where ever he can reach

his neck, cheek, forehead, and even his hand when he goes to hold it

Prom is a slight shade of pink, but so is Noct, and he’s giggling

afterwards, they feel like they can bear the walk across the boardwalk, all the way back to the parking lot, and they finally decide to leave

when they get back home, they take a shower together, and then flop on the bed w/ the new stuffies and pass tf out

#promptis #prompto argentum #noctis lucis caelum #prompto x noctis #ffxv #idk why i'm in such a promptis moood #i thought of this one night when i couldnt sleep lmao #and i miraculously remembered it #the ghost speaks

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