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#obviously its a noted fact that i am not actually good at Chilling Out About It lmao
thewhumperinwhite · 2 years
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i genuinely love posting attd stuff to this blog in particular bc there's like. a *very* complicated (perhaps too complicated, working on the same project for 14 years will do that) story going on, with lots of Politics and Magic and Political Magic going on, but for the purposes of this blog i'm always just like "...anyway who wants to see this white boy get the shit kicked out of him again"
#the doc i'm working from rn is saved as “attd but just the whump” lmao#anyway. This Is Genuine It Is Really Fun To Relate To This Story In This Way#and takes some of the pressure off too cause the problem with working on a story for so long.#is that i'm so attached to parts of it. some of which i came up with when i was Literally Fourteen#but since i've been working on it so long i also want it to be GOOD!! and you don't get Good stories without Cutting Stuff Out#and cutting out things that were really important to 14yo beau makes me Sad!!!#but what i love about whump writing - genuinely - is that#at its very core#it is Self Indulgent#which is GOOD!!!! it's good to write self-indulgent shit!!! its good for the soul!!! genuinely!!!!!#the only struggle is like. figuring out how much context Anyone Who Isn't Me might need to enjoy the whump#bc a lot of times context is a big part of what makes whump Good#without adding a bunch of stuff that isn't relevant and is therefore just distracting#It's A Real Struggle#but it's also very freeing when i can successfully chill out about it#...he says having posted like One new piece this whole year 🥴#obviously its a noted fact that i am not actually good at Chilling Out About It lmao#anyway attd is the story with The Most lore by a country mile#(the most pre-written lore anyway)#(wkw also has lots of lore but i am Making It All Up As I Go lmao)#anyway. i might make some background posts at some point#maybe on like. a different blog?? so i can just link them if they become relevant??? who knows. much to think about#not whump
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shitpostingkats · 1 year
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*SHAKES YOU AGGRESSIVELY*
TELL ME ABOUT YOUR “Zarc is an incarnation of The Supreme King” THEORY I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THIS YOU HAVE GOT ME HOOKED I AM OBSESSED WITH THESE FIRE TAKES YOU ARE SPITTING OP
Jaden and Yuya are now my favorite dynamic of all time, and now that I’m being shown the similarities I’m wondering if it’s really just a coincidence GX and Arc-V are my absolute favorites out of all the Yugioh series this is insane 👀
Hehe. Gladly <3
(Uh. This got long so it's going beneath the cut for the sake of people's dashboards)
Well, first off, there's just a lot of similarities between Zarc (the original Zarc, before he split into the Yu-bois) and Jaden. Both can talk to duel spirits, both start out chipper and are driven to the edge by grief, both split into various personas/people (Jaden with himself and the supreme king, Zarc obviously into the Yu-bois), both fuse with their ace monster(s), and both carry the title of "Supreme King". Most interesting, to me at least, is how both shape a lot of their identities around what they think people want from them.
Zarc was content to be an amazing duelist, but felt pressured to put on a good show, to be more brutal. Jaden, more subtly, constructs most of his personality off being easygoing, chill, and carefree, because he internalized that his emotions are dangerous, and people would rather deal with happy Jaden than the emotional disregulation mess that he actually is.
And both of them, when they get overwhelmed, adopt a mentality of "Well, the world might as well burn with me."
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Jaden, rather than feel his grief, locks off his own trauma behind a brick wall and goes on smiling. Yuya, rather than deal with his dads disappearance, does the same.
I'd also like it noted that supreme king Jaden and supreme king Yuya have yellow eyes.
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And some teal/orange eye asymmetry
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Honestly, even dragon form Yuya and the Supreme Kings armor have similar silhouettes.
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Mostly its in the spikes on the shoulders and elbows, and the fact that Zarc Yuya forms a weird chestplate (and that this is the same art team and visual style)
Another thing I get hung up on is that both Jaden and Yuri have super poly. In GX, Jaden had to go through an entire arc of misery to get that card, and Yuri just? Has it?
So my little headcanon, is that in the original timeline, before the dimensions were split, Zarc had the spirit of The Supreme King, able to command duel monsters and wield The Gentle Dark. Unfortunately for everyone, he got a teensy bit traumatized before he could enact his destiny of defeating The Light Of Destruction. Using his powers, he fused with his dragons, nearly destroyed the world, etc, etc. When he split, the Supreme King couldn't just split into four the same way the rest of his soul could, and so while the dimensions split, the past was rewritten to attach the power to a different soul, with a different guardian to boot. Similar to how the timeline got all borked to set everything back to a late nineties world of duel monsters.
Which would make Yuya 1/4 of an alternate universe version of Jaden. And I think there's a lot of fun to be had with that idea :)
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sibyl-of-space · 4 months
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It's time for me to go to bed. And that means everybody gets a Procrastination Essay No One Asked For About Sonic Adventure 1 for the SEGA Dreamcast!
This game is one of my super mega ultra all-time favorites. Every single time I revisit it, I am so afraid that my love for it is entirely nostalgia goggles and it will lose its charm this time around, and every single time, I just have the time of my life because the game really is great. It is so fun. It does some very cool things. It is kind of stupid but it takes itself seriously, and that is very endearing and a million times more interesting than a game that's too afraid of being perceived as cringe to be sincere.
I love basically everything about it. I painted Big the Cat on my Dreamcast and even that is not enough to communicate my vast love for this game.
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MANY WORDS BELOW CUT. Visuals, audio, gameplay, I love all of it.
Visuals
The game came out in 1998. It looks like a game that came out in 1998. But the world and character designs are fantastic and the world is so detailed. I could genuinely spend hours just moving around on the Egg Carrier overworld map appreciating all the gadgets and gizmos moving around that are purely 100% set dressing. It makes up for what it lacks in polygons with cool textures and fun trinkets everywhere. The animated CGs genuinely look amazing, and you can forgive the rest of it considering the game came out in 1998.
I also love the splash screens you get after finishing each route. They're so good.
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(It goes without saying that the game looks its best on a CRT. There are some really cool lighting effects CRTs just capture better.)
Audio
It obviously has an insanely good soundtrack of just nonstop banger after banger. It also has a very 1998 dub and the sound mixing and implementation are some of the worst you'll ever hear. Eggman has like 5 voice lines that are re-used in every scene he's in. But who can complain about that when they're listening to the likes of "Bad Taste Aquarium"? Literally nobody. Who cares. Every single song slaps.
"But Leo half the time the songs start and stop mid-cutscene because of how the game handles loading" who cares. I can forgive just about ANYTHING a game does in terms of audio implementation if it has a song as good as "Bad Taste Aquarium" in its soundtrack.
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Narrative
Setting aside the fact that the story is kind of stupid, I really think we need to appreciate the way it tells it. The way this game has you play through the same story from everyone's different perspective, and how the scenes that overlap actually play out differently depending on who you play as, is so big brain. You don't get the full picture of what's happening until you've played as everybody, and there is no "big group of heroes collectively take on the bad guy" until the very very end Super Sonic story... until then, it's just different people having wildly different journeys that overlap here and there and are all part of a single, bigger story.
That's just cool ass storytelling. Everyone loves to bitch about my good friend Big the Cat but the entire point is that this extremely chill guy who loves to fish and just wants to save his friend was caught up in this Adventure, and he was a small but vital part of it, and it affected him differently than it affected everybody else because he had a different reason for being involved. But that goes for everybody! Everyone's story has an arc with a start and a finish, and most of them don't come close to being involved in the whole thing. Even SONIC doesn't see everything (he doesn't have a Hot Shelter level at all). Knuckles's story ends on a really cool note, with him going "I may never know the full story of what happened here, but maybe it's better that way." Or something close to that.
I also just love the concept of benevolent protector water god goes apeshit at people, as well as the concept of a ghost from thousands of years ago trying to right ancient wrongs. Chaos and Tikal are great.
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Gameplay
The thing I love about Sonic Adventure is that every single character is really fun to play. This comes at the "cost" of what you might call "balance," in that half of the characters are broken as fuck and you can just disregard the very concept of platforming with most of them. I couldn't really care less about that because I just enjoy how fun it is to play as everyone.
Sonic Adventure 2 understandably put Tails in a mech because outside of it he is too damn broken. Sonic Adventure 1 lets you play as him anyway, and it rules.
The ONLY gripe I have about the gameplay is that Big the Cat does not have the means to harm robots (because he is too nice and chill to do that), but as a result he is unable to collect animals to give the chao. I cannot think of a single character in the Sonic the Hedgehog universe who would be better suited to raise chao than Big the Cat, but Big the Cat is unable to give them animals to power up. This is a tragedy.
Overall
Sonic Adventure is a masterpiece. Every time I play it I'm like "this is the greatest game that has ever been made." The parts of it that are clunky, awkward, kind of dumb, or very dated are still endearing because it tries to do so many things that you really just have to respect it. This is the kind of game that is fantastic whether you sit down and play it straight through from plot point to plot point or you spend three hours throwing that statue around Station Square into oncoming traffic.
Of course it's not polished. It tries to do way too many cool ass things all at once to be polished. It is WAY too ambitious to be polished. That's what makes it so good. It's perfect exactly the way it is and the fact that people will play this incredible game and go "lol, 3D Sonic sucks" is a good reminder that gamers will bitch about anything and you should never care about what gamers have to say when making games.
Big the Cat has glow-in-the-dark eyes. Game of all time.
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dongpound · 8 months
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i demand to know more of your oc's (also im trying to catch up on your space au fic its been so long since i last read it)
OH MY GOD IT DIDNT GET EATEN BY TUMBLR
Anon™️ I’m using your ask as like a sticky note of oc ideas specifically Tundra dude there’s SO much I’m so sorry I got into the hyper focus zone
Tundra’s name is actually Alejandra Citlali Osorio-Cruz and through the series she’s just about to turn 16 in season 1 and roughly 19-20 by Season 5 (give or take how the fuck you think time works in 2012 bc I think it takes place over 3-4 years season 5 included)
Tundra came about as a nickname when she was a kid and got super hyper-fixated on professional wrestling and like. She made an entire persona and lore. Alec started using her wrestling name as a silly nickname and it stuck.
Yes I did come up with a stupid cute reason behind the name Tundra bc I can not handle the fact I chose such a BAD oc name for a LION but like I can’t change it NOW!! I MADE HER IN LIKE 2015 SHES TOO OLD TO CHANGE IT
Xever did just think for the longest time Tundra WAS her name. He also just assumed that Alec and Chris adopted a child for fun.
Her bio parents Ixchel and Alejandro were really good friends of Alec and Chris for like. Well over a decade. Ixchel and Alec especially. Ixchel was an actress (like I would say their worlds equivalent of Selma Hayek) and Alejandro worked in music production.
They didn’t have a ton of family they kept in contact with, so Alec and Chris were named Alejandra’s legal guardians if anything happened to them. They sadly died in a plane crash when Tundra was around 1.
This feels like SOOOO edgy and silly to me now but like I literally can’t see Alec and Chris adopting a kid any other way than the guilt of losing their friends pushing them to do it. WHICH SOUNDS BAD. AND LIKE IT IS. However they still love and raise Alejandra as their own, if anything Chris is like. Somewhat distant bc he still has his career but Alec’s like “fuck yeah I get to raise a kid again” and kinda slips from the spotlight. Which is fine by them , they’re like 600 years old they can just have messy fun in the public eye another time
Tundra goes fucking THROUGH IT emotionally through the series. Like goes from would do anything for Chris and Alec (especially Chris who. Again. Was distant and she desperately wanted his approval) to the point where like. She’s yknow. Mutated, to growing resentful of them when Hachi enters the picture (especially when she has to take care of him) to like. Low key betraying the foot and joining the mutanimals in season 3. And then having to deal w Chris being resurrected temporarily in season 5 after a really chill and happy 2 years with her mom and little brother like it’s a LOT.
In season 1 she’s very much a “mean girl” stereotype and slowly evolves into Cool And Gay (but still a little better than you)(she. She gets that from her upbringing.)
Tundra and Karai are seen as like a duo/bffs up until season 2 after the whole “I’m not shredders daughter” thing happens. They grow distant (obviously) until season 4.
So like Alec and Chris are NOT the best parents and like. They did totally just let Tundra take Hachi to live w her and the Mutanimals in season 4. She’d already been in space w him for 6 months and the poor kid really didn’t want to go live in the woods. I have such a specific scene in mind for this and I want to write it out so bad. Anyway tundra basically becomes a teen mom for a little bit. Eldest daughters am I right? *plays class of 2013 by mitski*
Tundra has a modified mini van which she does haul all of her friends who can fit in. Apologies to leatherhead and slash . No she doesn’t have a license
She also has a bike. These two vehicles she did canonically find on the side of the highway and she convinced Donnie and Casey to help her fix them
Tundras in a punk (? Maybe more Pop punk ) band called The Muties (my other characters Jack and Spinstra are in it. also Mondo. Sometimes Raph fills in on drums if Spinstra can’t make it). Tundra and Jack switch off on vocals, she’s usually on bass. They started up in the down time between seasons 4 and 5. They play in Moira’s Menagerie (a mutants only bar and hall) every week on Fridays. Alec comes to nearly all of their shows and also they bring Hachi sometimes when they practice and he’ll play his DS.
Alec will also force their friends (I.e. Apep, Anton, Ivan and Xever) to come watch Tundra w the promise of drinks and she thinks it’s embarrassing every fucking time bc they’re SO LOUD and OBVIOUS and god she could just DIE (but also. Having the support makes her happy)
Alec WILL slam back 3 tequila shots and go on about how talented their daughter is.
Chris got to see her play once. And it was when he was resurrected. And Tundra, frankly, was not thrilled. Another one I wanna write
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itsohh · 2 years
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Hello! I hope you are doing well! When you first started writing here on Tumblr, did you hesitate or were nervous and if so how did you deal with it? Or did you just power through it and fuck it I'm putting my writing out there and I don't care what people say?
Long story short I'm really wanting to write on here just to do something different but I'm hella nervous and just wanted an opinion. Because I really love R6 but I have a very hard time getting out of my shell. Obviously you don't have to answer if you are uncomfortable! Till then I can't wait for your next post! 😊
hmmm I think way back when I first started writing I was a lot more care free at the time back when I was like 13.
I don't think I was ever focused on like anyone hating it or anything like that. Like I've legit never got hate for writing in all the years I've done it. Either people will hit the like button or they wont. Back then I was writing for like supernatural and marvel then eventually overwatch and a bit of Sherlock. In the case of I guess it was 'whats the worst that will happen' in all reality most of the time people who don't like x reader have the tag blocked and so only people who like said thing will find it (so long as u tag correctly)
I've sorta just got to the stage where posting doesn't really phase me in nervousness or anything, like sure for somethings I lose interest or motivation at times but when I started posting I didn't really get any like feedback at all? Like it was very rare I would get anything that wasn't a like or a reblog and requests didn't happen much. I think the fact that Tumblr is so anonymous really helps, like its almost a mask. No one actually knows who I am, worst comes to worst I can legit just delete the blog and start anew.
I think also fandom size is a huge thing, is reconising your audience, there's no point comparing like notes to another fandom cause honestly it just reflects how popular said thing is. After I realised that I sorta don't worry anymore? I used to freak out a bit about people not liking my posts but now I'm just like 'eh R6S is tiny' and it is.
Honestly yeah so long as you tag correctly you should be alg. In the R6S fandom at leat people are pretty chill. (Idk there's some hate to oc's or something but as long as u don't tag as x reader u should be alg)
Anyway I'm rambling a lot but honestly yeah just go for it hun, upload. Nothing bad will happen, might feel a bit anxious or whatever but its like, yeah. You feel me? that being said if your going to write please remember capitals and new speaker new line theses are so important, as someone who breaks a lot of grammar rules those two shouldn't be broken in writing. I know a lot of people aren't a fan of first person so if you do write first person your audience would be smaller than per say second or first
Some people may have different ideas or interpretations of character but I feel as a tumblr collective (speshly this fandom) people won't like hate on you for it.
ANYWAY I went off again, yeah give it a go. eventually you will get used to it and it will become a second habit to upload, frankly so long as you ultimately always write for your enjoyment your always good. uploading writing is pretty much like the same as watching a movie with a friend id say, or like running a dnd campaign sorta vibes. kinda. but yeah just hit that post button and off u go. I guess yeah just power through it, hitting post the first time is def the hardest and you just gotta rip that bad boy off.
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sodrippy · 5 years
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whew the shot ive been working on all week is almost done god its been so tedious, not to mention its an even bigger strain on my eyes than usual, but im like ?? maybe actually even pr*ud of myself? i had to do a whole flowy dress as she's walking by and the fabric shifts every single frame so i had to hand animate it all, and i finished today and was watching it back and it looks pretty decent for a rough pass? i thought it'd be choppier or whatever but it looks pretty good i think...who knows how it Really looks but even one of my coworkers was chatting to me this arvo and looked at it and was like oh dude that looks good, so!
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onecanonlife · 3 years
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okay i have processed enough to write my initial thoughts i think. still haven’t watched everything that happened today (i.e. sapnap’s stream, jack’s stream, techno after tommy went live) but. i want to talk a little bit
(also i always get nervous sharing my takes as my anxiety is. bad. so i’ll preface this by saying that i am absolutely not trying to start anything with or go after anyone whose opinions are different lmao. this is all very much /lh)
okay. so. in no particular order
i’ve determined how i feel about c!ranboo’s death. the answer is that i feel very little. i am open to changing this opinion based on others’ reactions (c!tubbo pls return king i’m begging) but currently i am not. mourning. like i did for c!tommy. that ficlet that i wrote was definitely me trying to make myself feel something and it didn’t quite work. that being said, i’m very happy that cc!ranboo’s finally gonna get to tell a story the way he’s wanted to!
c!niki. girl. please.
kind of on that note, i will not lie i normally find techno’s lore streams to be fun, at least. and this stream had its moments that i enjoyed? but overall, was not digging the syndicate pov today. really, really good to have confirmation that c!techno doesn’t actually like c!dream, tho
gonna round out my discussion of the syndicate. c!phil. he fucking fascinates me. i want to shake him and i want to punch him and i want to hug him. i want to be in his brain. i want to give him a reality check. but his interactions with c!tommy today, i honestly thought was one of the highlights of the lore for me. like, he still doesn’t get it. i would really like for him to get it, at some point. i want him to understand why l’manberg is important. and the fact that he went along with c!techno’s plans despite the fact that he knows how fucking awful c!dream is has me seething. but like. at least he’s made it really clear that he’s in c!tommy’s corner. i do enjoy that
okay so. c!tommy. i don’t. i don’t even consider myself an inniter. but the return of c!tommy had me feeling some kind of way let me tell you
it’s been said by so many other people, but cc!tommy’s acting? holy fucking shit. he and dream absolutely killed that moment. that was just. chilling. i don’t even really have the words. (and that blooper was also so fucking funny i love them)
and i’d like to talk for a second about c!tommy’s forgiveness? like, that moment where he forgave c!phil really drove it home for me. he obviously doesn’t agree with him, but i think he saw where c!phil was coming from, decided that c!phil actually believes he was being helpful (which. like. no. but that’s another thing), and so was able to forgive him for it. c!tommy really forgives people very easily. even people who have hurt him very personally. i am not going to make this about c!wilbur i am not going to make this about c!wilbur but c!wilbur as someone holding a gun shooting at someone else and he’s on his side but he still doesn’t feel safe because the gun is still there i am not over this i will never be over this
the walls. god. the walls make him feel safe. i can’t. i fucking can’t
i said i wouldn’t make this about c!wilbur but if c!wilbur doesn’t see the walls and have a fucking emotional breakdown then what even is the point okay sorry i’m done i swear
cannot let c!quackity go unmentioned. like, he is one of the best people to be helping c!tommy rn, because he’s had the whole c!dream-escaped-panic. he’s been there and done that. he’s ready to be effective. he’s ready to do what needs to be done. and he’s decided that what needs to be done is protecting c!tommy. it really doesn’t get any better than that
uh what else. c!sam. my beloved. my beloathed. he’s probably one of the best written characters on the smp. i love him. i hate him. goddddd
this goes without saying, but c!connor absolutely stole the show /hj
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cerise-on-top · 2 years
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Ok this might be a some kind of continue of the previous ask
Ok imagine batter and Bad batter just somehow got to their world as well and it's during the winter and it happened during the time where Ghost was having a bit of fun teasing y/n something like this (mind you this idea came after I read the story for the third time so it's random)
Y/N: Ghost stay away from me
Ghost: oh come I know how much you fucking adore hugs (comes closer )
Y/N: no I am not going to turned into a ghost just yet
Then batter and bad batter just literally falls on top of ghost . After sometimes bad batter , batter and Y/N cuddling together to keep each other warm . Ghost obviously wants to join (and maybe slightly jealous) but pretend he doesn't want to . Then Y/N somehow managed to find a solution so he can join as well.
Also bonus in the summer the brothers won't leave his side and use him as a cooler after Y/N told them that he is like a life size ice cube .
*clucks tongue* Nice. Goofy goobers give me life, and this is like a 5 course meal! Sorry about the fact that the cuddling part is rather short, though!
Batter Trio and Reader Cuddling for Warmth
Notes: a lot of swearing
Another day, so cold and uncomfortable, closely followed by the night, its nurturing nature capable of freezing anyone’s blood. Summer and autumn had both bad you goodbye in their own ways, with the memories of warmer days wrapping you in a thin blanket of hope. In order to not only survive, but also live, one must keep going towards the light of the mellow heat one seeks out innately. And yet that, which one desires, will often be met with outward resistance, making one’s wishes almost unobtainable.
Bundled up on the couch, you glared at your roommate making your life miserable. “Ghost, I swear, if you get any closer to me with your cold ass I can and will kill you again.”
The fiend was approaching yet again, disregarding any and all threats aimed at him. “Oh come on, I know how much you fucking adore your shitty little hugs. Now come here and get some, fuckwad!”
Rolling off your sofa, you got on your feet, your blanket, soft as silk and warm as the rays of the sun, shielding you from the attacker creeping ever closer. Your weapons of choice were your words and wits, neither of which seemed to faze your opponent much, Ghost seemed to prefer open combat, opting to dash towards you. Yet, his violence proved futile due to some unforeseen circumstances. God hath mercy on you once again.
Lunging forward, two figures, both more formidable in size than him, had fallen on top of him. Whence they came from was unbeknownst to either of you. And in that moment, such trivial things were irrelevant, for you had won another war. Allowing your arm to leave your cape of security, you pointed your finger towards Ghost. “Ha! Suck my ass, loser!”
Disregarding his groaning, you took a good look at the beings saving you from hypothermia. While both of them seemed quite a bit lost in their own ways at first, it was your warm and welcoming expression, a grin stretching from ear to ear, which pulled them back to this reality they were not used to. “Bad! Batter! Holy shit! You actually came back! This is truly a Christmas, Hanukkah, Yule and everything else miracle combined!”
A scene rivalling that of Omelas, you jumped in Bad and Batter’s direction, arms wide open so you can hold onto them to cherish this moment further. Their reciprocation came at different times, with the latter hesitating a bit longer, but ultimately complying as well. A heartfelt reunion, disrupted only by the one taking the suffering. “Ayo, can you hug it out somewhere else?? My spine’s breaking like a kit-kat here, which says a lot considering I don’t even fucking have one!”
Once all the formalities had been put aside, the chill of the winter has, once again, settled into your home. Although your heater was present, its capabilities were limited, to say the least, your blankets providing more service of keeping you warm during the colder months especially. Whereas this usually wouldn’t be an issue, the fact that there are four people in your home, one of which had reptilian features, was. Coupling this with a couch meant for few people left you with one option for the most part: cuddling for warmth.
It was surprisingly nice, actually. With Bad needing the most warmth, he was placed in between you and Batter, the three of you slowly chattering away.
“...and before everything got distorted, there was a tower surrounded by golden trees with a bird like Japhet, quack.” Raspy as usual, it was nice to hear Bad’s voice again.
“Indeed there was. While incapable of speech like ours, it was evident it had sapience, much like us. Its flight was remarkable in that it left behind an array of colours usually found only when the rain meets the sun.” Marvellous tales, which, had it not been for your own adventures, you would not have believed.
As Batter elaborated on the pinions of the creature, Bad glanced over to his older brother, sitting at the table, his face resting in his hand. Empty may his eye sockets have been, but this was not enough to deceive his blood brother. “You want to join in too.”
“Why in the crapsnorting world would I want to do that?? I’m not here for that kind of pussy shit! Plus if I did everyone would freeze to fucking death.”
“Oh, is that the only problem at hand?” You perked up. It was really hard to ignore either Ghost or Bad with their speaking habits of being rather loud. “Wait a sec, then.”
Your solution? A hoodie. A pink one, oversized for you. And considering Ghost was of rather short stature, it fit him perfectly, his expression of disdain making it all the better as well. Yet, before any complaints could leave his mouth, you simply dragged him into your cuddling session, which you so lovingly dubbed the “flesh pile”. Seeing this tiny ghost man next to his gigantic little brother was quite a treat. But, regardless of all the cursing and everyone's jabs at everyone else, it was quite an enjoyable night, with a lot of catching up happening.
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queenshelby · 3 years
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Fan with Benefits (Part Two)
Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader
Words: 2,229
Warning: Smut
Notes: As usual, this is fiction and has nothing to do with Cillian’s real life.
Just after you gotten of the phone with Cillian, your friend and roommate Katherine asked you who it was and, when you told her, it almost blew her mind.
‘He is coming here? Oh my god’ she said almost shocked before asking you the all-important question as to whether you wanted her to leave when he did.
‘It’s fine. He is just coming here to sign the paperwork for the artwork he is buying’ you explained.
‘To your apartment? Common, don’t be so naïve. It’s a booty call’ Katherine said and you surely hoped that it was, although you didn’t want to get your hopes up. After all, you knew that he was married.
After a bit more conversation, Katherine convinced you to be prepared, freshly shaved and showered and told you that she would leave at around 6 o’clock.
***
At 4 o’clock you attended your usual yoga class and, in order to save some time, you had a shower at the gym following your class before making your way back home so that you could tidy up and apply some make up.
To your surprise, when you walked into the apartment building, you saw Cillian sit on one of the arm chairs near the elevators.
‘You are early’ you said as you returned.
‘Yes, I am. I ended up getting an earlier flight and texted you’ Cillian then said and you quickly pulled out your phone and realised that he had, indeed, texted you but you didn’t see this message until now.
‘Sorry, I have been out and didn’t check my phone’ you said nervously. You were worried that Katherine had left the apartment in a mess, giving you no chance to tidy up now before Cillian’s arrival.
***
‘Common in’ you said as you reached the second floor of the building and unlocked the door to your apartment. You were impressed that Katherine had not only picked up after herself as promised, but even had left on a couple small lamps to dim the living room slightly.
To your surprise, there also was glassware on the kitchen counter, a fresh bottle of red wine and a packet of condoms which you hoped Cillian wouldn’t notice. You could imagine the inevitable interrogation to ensue the next day, regardless of what happened and you were embarrassed beyond believe.
‘Red wine and condoms?’ Cillian chuckled as he looked towards the kitchen counter and your cheeks turned red immediately and you wanted to sink into the ground.
‘Oh my god. Uhm, this stuff belongs to my roommate’ you explained shyly and nervously, causing Cillian to laugh.
‘Are you sure? Because there is a note saying “Y/N, just in case you need them. Have fun”’ Cillian laughed, reading out the little note that Katherine had stuck to the packet of condoms.
‘Uhm, yeah, no, this stuff is hers. I know nothing about this’ you huffed out with total embarrassment.  
‘That’s a shame. I really felt like a glass of wine and perhaps something else as well’ Cillian winked as he placed the packet of condoms and note back onto the kitchen counter.
‘Uhm, well, you can…I mean we can…aren’t you married?’ you then stammered.  
‘My wife doesn’t mind. In fact, I told her about the nice young lady I met at the gallery last night’ Cillian then said, moving closer towards you.
‘So, is this why you are here?’ you asked nervously, biting your lip.
‘I thought that was obvious’ Cillian then chucked and you felt even more embarrassed than before.
You shook your head nervously. It wasn’t obvious to you at all.
‘Well, obviously your friend thought it was obvious’ Cillian then chuckled and, just as he did, one of his hands caressed your cheeks.
‘She did’ you said before taking up all of your courage and leaning forward towards him which is when his lips met yours in a tentative kiss
‘How did you know that I would want to sleep with you?’ you then asked after your lips drifted apart.
‘I didn’t. I was just being hopeful. Although, I saw the way you kept looking at me last night’ he then said as he leaned against you, pressing your shorter frame against the kitchen counter, and kissing you again.
Your mouths were totally connected now.Your tongues were swirling, darting and exploring each other while the kiss refused to end.
His hands were moving up your sides, gently pressing in against the swell of your ample breasts. At the same time, you digged your fingernails into his back and then grabbed hold of his neck, desperately pulling his face closer towards you.
The smell of his chest and cologne was intoxicating and you were lost in a trance. Was this really happening?
***
‘Where is your bedroom Y/N? I am all for comfort’ Cillian chuckled as your lips drifted apart and he pulled four condoms out of the packet Katherine had left on the counter for you.
‘Four? Do we really need that many?’ you asked surprised while Cillian’s fingertips had begun meandering up and down your forearm.
‘Well, as you have already pointed out, I am married so this will be a one-night thing and I really want to make the most of it’ Cillian then whispered into your ear as your skin bristled at the sensation on your arm and you relished his scent.
‘So, I guess I will be sore tomorrow then, hmm?’ you asked seductively, biting your lip.
‘It’s likely, but I will make it worth it for you. Despite, I will make use of all you have to offer so that your already soaking pussy can have a rest in between’ Cillian then said in between more and more kisses while he slid one of his hands beneath your dress and panties, collecting some of your juices with his fingers.  
You couldn’t help but moan and wanted him to keep his hands right there, in between your legs, but he didn’t.
‘Common, I want to taste you’ Cillian then said, taking you by the hand and urging you to show him to your bedroom.
***
Within less than a minute, you found yourself completely naked on your large Queen bed while Cillian stood in front of it, wearing nothing but his tight blue jeans.
You took it all in, his scent, the glow of his freckled skin and the feel of the little bit of hair on his chest.
Never, in your wildest dreams, did you think that you would ever get to have this man and, whilst you were a little inexperienced, you decided that you would let him have it all. All of you, just as he had requested.
‘What are you waiting for Mr Murphy? I am all yours’ you said eagerly, waiting for him on the bed.
‘Just admiring the view’ Cillian said as he was taking off his watch and placing it onto your dresser along with his phone before climbing onto the bed with you.
When he did, you anticipated him to kiss you but he had other things in mind.
‘Spread your legs’ he demanded and, without thought your legs parted and his head disappeared in between them almost eagerly.
Without warning, his tongue immediately located the hood of your clit, causing you to scream out loud.
Your reaction clearly made him smile as, with all of the anticipation and new sensations, a cold sweat beaded up on your brow.
‘So fucking wet, aren’t you?’ Cillian groaned as his tongue kept swirling around your clit and then, occasionally, slid up and down in between your slit, lapping up your juices.
You flooded your channel as Cillian almost sent you over the edge with his skilled tongue alone and, in that moment, two of his fingers slid over your wet folds, slowly parting your well lubricated lips and entered you.
‘Oh my god’ you groaned as your flower opened and the invaders found the way to your previously unexplored g-spot.
He manipulated you, edging you slowly with his thrusting fingers and tongue. He had you on the brink and you were about cum.
‘Oh god Cillian’ you moaned again as chills ran up both your legs and you trembled involuntarily. Your orgasm hit you right then and there, fast and hard and somewhat unexpectedly.
You came all around Cillian’s fingers within five minutes and, whilst you were almost embarrassed by how quick you came, he was rather pleased with himself.
‘So needy. I will have a lot of fun with you’ he observed as you finally came down from your high and allowed you some time to relax.
When you had finally recovered from your intense orgasm, Cillian pulled you off the bed.
Then he took a step closer to you and immediately started undoing his belt buckle and opening his fly. You instinctively dropped to your knees with a smile on your face and as he unzipped his pants you grabbed the waistband of his jeans and his Calvin Klein briefs and began slowly tugging them down.
First you saw his dark pubic hair, then the top of his cock shaft, and as you pulled his bottoms further down his cock sprang forth in all its erect glory. You actually jumped a little when it leaped out at you, a fact that he noticed.
‘Are you going to be a good girl and take my cock all the way into your mouth?’ he asked in a deep voice, sending shivers down your spine.
‘I sure will, after I have a little play with it first’ you replied as you took his cock in your hand eagerly. This was all you had ever fantasised about and wanted to take in everything, the look of it, the feel of it and its scent.
At first you just stroked Cillian’s cock slowly and observed it as it began to swell even more in your hand. You moved in closer to get your other hand on his balls and you could smell his musk. It was intoxicating to you! As you gently massaged Cillian’s testicles you could feel how full they were and you couldn't help it anymore. you needed to taste him.
You stuck out your tongue and licked his shaft from his balls all the way up to the tip. Then you swirled your tongue around the tip a few times as he growled under his breath. Finally, you completely enveloped Cillian’s cock head with your lips and started sucking him. You let lots of saliva dribble out of your mouth to keep the shaft lubricated as you continued to stroke him.
‘Fuck, that’s it’ Cillian groaned as you kept at it, working his shaft with one hand, massaging his balls with the other, and sucking him for several minutes. He had his hands on your head guiding his cock in and out of your mouth.
Eventually, Cillian tightened the grip he had on the back of your head and pushed you further down on his shaft until, finally, he bottomed out against the back of your throat.
You gagged, saliva dripping out of your mouth as the wetness in between your legs was building.
‘You are doing so fucking well’ he groaned again as you gave into his force and let him take your mouth as you were moaning around his thick member.
Eventually, Cillian released his grip against your head and let you get back to work at your own pace, and you continued giving him a slobbery blowjob. This time, you forced yourself further and further down his long shaft, making yourself gag and listening to him groan in approval.
One of your hands kept a firm grip on his balls while the other stroked him up and down in tempo with your head bobbing.
His groans were getting louder and you moaned softly against him, slurping loudly as you moved, letting his cock hit or lightly ease into your throat every time you sank down. You gave him long strides, really making sure all of his cock was getting some form of attention.
‘Fuck’ he murmured, starting to squirm. ‘I am close’ he then groaned and you were really curious what his cum would taste like.
Cillian’s groans and moans just made you work harder. You wanted his orgasm to be nice and intense, so you ramped up the speed and your slurping noises were getting even louder as you milked his cock faster.
Cillian’s hand found its way back to your head, his fingers getting locked in your hair as he got closer and closer until finally, he started to cum.
‘Fuck’ he groaned again as his hips twitched upwards, trying to get deeper into your mouth as he filled it with his load.
‘I want to watch you swallow it Love’ he groaned as he held your head against his cock while he filled your mouth. His cum was so thick and sweet and coated your tongue, making you drool even more as you collected it all in your mouth.
Then, finally, he released the grip on your head and pulled away from you and lifted up your cum filled mouth for him to see.
‘Show me’ he groaned, still coming down from his high and you complied with his request and opened your mouth, moving your cum covered tongue around seductively.
Then, you closed your mouth again and swallowed down his load, gulping slightly as you did before licking your lips clean seductively.
‘So fucking sexy’ Cillian huffed out before pulling you up and towards him.
He pressed his lips onto yours and practically growled, wrapping his arms around you and kissing you ferociously which was when, suddenly, his phone began to ring.
 Tag List:
@lilymurphy03 @deefigs @theflamecrystal @desperate-and-broken @weepingstudentfishhorse @livinginfantaxy @rosey1981 @atomicsoulcollecto @peakyboyslover @nerdy4itall@elenavampire21 @hanster1998@mariapaiva13 @fairypitou @harry-is-my-sunflower @zozeebo @lauren-raines-x @kasaikawa @littlewierdalien @sad-huffle-nerd @theflamecrystal @peakymalfoyscullymulder @themissthang@0ghostwriter0 @stylescanbeatmyback @1-800-peakyblinders @datewithgianni @momoneymolife @ntmynouis @lilymurphy03 @mcntsee@cloudofdisney@missymurphy1985 @peakymalfoyscullymulder @otterly-fey @janelongxox @uchihacumdump @basiclassy @being-worthy @chaotic-bean-of-smolness @margoo0 @ @vhscillian @ysmmsy @littlewierdalien @crazymar15  @stickyknightflowerbailiff @im-constantly-fangirling @goldensunflowe-r  @tellingyouastory  @captivatedbycillianmurphy​  @namelesslosers​  @littlewhiterose​  @ttzamara​  @ttzamara @cilleveryone  ​
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yee-fxcking-haw · 4 years
Text
•Love Me Tender•
Summary: After waiting, watching, and wanting, Tamaki finally has a way to get to you. He's willing to do use some questionable methods, make deals with shifty friends, whatever it takes. He'll have you.
Pairing: Pro Hero Tamaki Amajiki x FemReader (both 18+)
Warnings: Yandere behavior, stalking, coercion, sabotage, manipulation, hard dom Tamaki, slight brat reader, mostly sub reader, unprotected sex, virginity loss, oral sex (female receiving), tentacle play (oral, vaginal, anal, gagging), bondage (with tentacles), mild dumbification, degradation, spit play, cum play, wittle bit of bloodplay, creampie, marking, possession kink, collaring. Kinda-sorta dub-con (not really imo but warning just in case)
Word Count: 11,576
A/N: Jesus fucking christ I did it.
Part One: Porcelain Obsession
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
   Tamaki awoke painfully this morning, body aching and covered in dried sweat. It wasn't a feeling to be proud of, but it was a feeling he cherished. 
   Your stolen underwear is clutched in his hand still, like a lifeline. It still smells just a little bit like you… but not enough. He couldn't feel you or taste you or hold you. He had to figure something out, quickly. He had to find a way to make you his. 
   Luckily, Tamaki knows exactly how to make that happen…
***                                         
  You hang up your apron with a deep sigh, wiping sweat off your forehead with the back of your hand. Thank god it's only a half day, you finally have an afternoon off, a day to spend by yourself. 
   You bid your coworkers farewell and head out of the shop. You wander home, earbuds in as you try to drown out the noise of the city. Once you're home, you notice a small box on your doorstep. 
   It's a pretty little gold box with purple ribbon, a tiny note is attached to the top. The scribbled writing reads,
   "I thought this would look pretty on you, I'm sorry about the weird exit last night. I'd like to take you to get some coffee to make up for it, if you'll let me." - Tamaki
   Your heart flutters a bit at the note, you had deduced you were nothing more than a charity case. Him walking you home was just what he felt was fair in exchange for the use of your phone, he didn't really… like you? Did he? 
   His exit was just a little bit strange, he seemed almost panicked. You wanted to ask if everything was ok, but figure it best to stay out of a hero's business. Who knows what door you'd be opening if you started to ask too many questions.
   Beneath his note is a phone number, obviously his. You can't call him right away, it might seem desperate, but you can open the box. 
   When the lid comes off, you gasp quietly at what's hidden inside. On a delicate silver chain sits one lovely little pearl. You stand there, amazed and confused. Wondering why on earth somebody like Suneater would leave such a precious little gift for you. 
***
   You called the number left on the note about an hour after receiving it. As soon as Tamaki picks up the phone your heart leaps into your throat. 
   "I didn't think y-you'd call." He laughs afterwards, but you can hear traces of genuine anxiety underneath. 
   "Well, what kind of an asshole would I be if I didn't call back the hero that saved me from a lonely walk home?" Your face crinkles up at your horrid attempt at flirting. 
   He doesn't seem to mind, though. He gives you a sweet laugh, putting some of your nerves at ease. 
   "So, uh- coffee?" He wonders. 
   "I'd love to, I just got off work, but I imagine you're busy doing hero stuff. We can-"
   "No I'm not busy." He says quickly, his urgency makes you smile. He's almost boyish in his approach, and it's very charming. 
   Somehow, between the two of you suffering your way through the conversation, you set a time for coffee.
***
    Tamaki makes a quick stop before meeting you, visiting a horrid friend of his in an alleyway a hero should never be unless he's kicking someone's ass. 
   His "friend" turns out to be a little more than your average criminal. He's a wicked looking man, with a mess of black hair and an abundance of scarring littering his body.��
   They call him Dabi. 
   "So what's the plan here? Am I just scarin' the poor girl or do I get to have some real fun?" His smile is devilish, and his eyes are telling. 
   It makes Tamaki's skin crawl, he stares daggers at the man leaning against the brick of the alleyway. 
   "If you touch her, I will gut you like a fucking fish." Tamaki says, he's full of rage, but he says it so calmly, so matter of fact. 
   "You can try." Dabi laughs, "You forget how easy it is to cook seafood." 
   Tamaki stands there for a brief second, watching the villain, weighing his options. 
   "I'm not here for banter, can you do the job or not?" His words are clipped, strangely articulate compared to his usual stutter. 
   "Yeah whatever, I got nothin' planned for tonight, and I do love making little girls scream." He tilts his head back against the wall as Tamaki turns to stalk away. 
   "Hey, Suneater." Dabi calls out with a lazy voice. 
   Tamaki freezes and keeps his back to Dabi. He turns his head to the side and waits for him to speak. 
   "Send her my way when you're done with her." If Tamaki had less of the public eye on him, he would have slit Dabi's throat then and there. 
   Instead, he swallows his rage as he tosses a hefty wad of cash over his shoulder. 
   "Don't be late." 
***
   "You always just drink it black? Not even a little bit of sugar?' You ask, astounded by Tamaki's ability to drink the bitter liquid without any sweetener.
   "Sugar is kind of useless for me, I try to eat things that'll help me with m-my quirk." He explains, his deep eyes wander while he talks, like he's watching for something. 
   That must come with being a hero. 
   "Does coffee help your quirk?" You ask, a smile playing at your lips when you see him frown at his drink. 
   "No, but it helps me focus."
   You nod playfully before taking a sip, the cafe he's brought you to is incredibly charming. It's not an overly hip establishment, it's just a sweet little hidden gem. Tucked away into a forgotten street, it gives the impression that it's a well kept secret between two best friends. 
   "Do you feel like people ask too much of you?" You question. It slips out so quickly, running away from you after launching out of your lips. 
   Your hatred for small talk gets the best of you and you jump the gun, as always. You want to hide, but not before you apologise a thousand times for being too straightforward. 
   Tamaki looks at you thoughtfully, his eyes show that he's shocked, but not offended.
   "Sometimes. It can feel like people expect me t-to be the…" He pauses for a moment, mentally grasping for the right word. 
   "It feels like people expect Heroes to be this ultimate, universal band-aid. In a lot of ways, we are, but we're still h-human… I-I'm still human…" His voice slows down by the end of his sentence, like he's realized he might be over sharing. 
   But, you asked him, you wanted to know. You actually care about him? Every bone in his body is screaming at him to grab you, throw you over his shoulder and run away. He feels some carnal desire to just keep you. Hide you from every selfish asshole that would take advantage of the starstruck look in your beautiful eyes. 
   He can't, though… not yet. 
   "S-sorry…" He whispers. 
   And then, you reach across the table to take his hand in yours. He feels the contact all the up his arm, into his chest, into his heart. 
   So you do want him too. 
   "Please don't be sorry, I liked listening to you talk." You say quietly. 
   You did love it, you loved it because you've felt so unheard, so unseen. Being able to provide somebody else with a pair of listening ears serves as a kind of relief for those feelings. 
   "Can you tell me more?" You test, hand squeezing his own a little more. 
   He looks almost elated, thrilled to be seen, excited to be heard. Most of all, he's itching to finally have you. 
***
   The date was nothing short of wonderful, filled with cute little fumblings of words, hands brushing but never holding, and sharing bits and pieces of yourselves with each other. 
   You flop onto your bed, reminiscent of a teenager who's just had their first kiss. You didn't kiss him goodnight, you chickened out of that. But you did press your lips against his cheek for a brief moment, which seemed to have quite the effect on him. 
      His breath hitched, his fists balled at his sides, acting like he'd never been touched so tenderly. It made you wonder, is the Hero as lonely as you are? 
   You glance over at your night stand, seeing the pretty little necklace sitting in its box. You're washed with guilt as you realize you forgot to wear it to coffee, knowing he must have wanted you to. You take it out of the box carefully before pulling it around your neck and hooking it into place. It fits like a choker, snug against your skin, but it feels good to have it so close.
   You're ripped from your musing when you hear the unmistakable sound of breaking glass. 
   Inside your house. 
   Your blood chills, hair stands up on the back of your neck and you rise from your bed slowly. You try to talk yourself down, kill the first nerves that consume your chest. It was probably a poorly balanced vase… except, you don't own any vases. It could have been a picture? Nope, not a picture, it was just glass… like a window breaking. 
   There's a gun in your office, but you're in the bedroom. You scan the room for something, anything that could be used for defense. Of course, nothing but a damn notebook. 
   The police, you should call the police. Your heart clenches when you hear the threatening sound of heavy footsteps falling down your hallway. 
   They're heading straight for your bedroom. 
   You lunge at the door, hand landing on the doorknob just as it begins to turn. Desperately, uselessly, you try to lock it. It's too late, though, it's already opening by the time your thumb lands on the lock. 
   You can hear your blood rushing when the door swings towards you, a large black boot planted on the other side to force it open. 
   "Sorry 'bout the window, sweetheart. I tried the front door, but it was locked." The intruder chuckles as he invades your bedroom. 
   You stumble back as you take in his sewn together form, a mess of black leather and scars. Wild, electric blue eyes devour your trembling form as you press yourself back into the wall. 
   "Oh, hon, you're shakin' like you're in danger. I ain't gonna hurt you, I'm gonna do the opposite." He stalks towards you, somehow moving in slow motion but with incredible speed all at the same time. 
   Your phone sits on your night stand, only feet away but all too unreachable. You're caged in by his arms as he towers over you, filling your nose with some horrid, smokey smell. 
   "P-please, you can have anything, j-just don't-" 
   Your words halt when a long, pale finger traces over your collar bone. 
   "Don't what? 'J-just don't' what?" He mocks you, eyes lit with a sadistic amusement. 
   Your heart rattles in your chest as tears prick your eyes, you can't fight him, he's huge. You don't have your gun. You don't have your phone. You're fucked. 
   "Cryin' already? What's the matter, doll?-" The hand traces your collar bone moves up to wrap around your throat, "Not a fan of villains?" 
   Your hands paw at his wrist, you will yourself to sputter something out, any kind of objection to whatever he has planned. You try to whimper out a 'stop', but when your mouth finally forms the word, the voice isn't yours, but it's familiar.
   It's low, clipped and dangerous as it barks out the warning. 
   Suneater. 
   Suddenly, as if he's being yanked to the heavens by the Gods, your assailant is torn away from you. A large, red tentacle captures him by the waist and throws him across the room. You collapse to the ground instantly, curling around your legs as you hear the muffled sounds of a violent fight. 
   You hide in your own little world, trembling and clenching yourself. You take one peak from between your arms, just to see Tamaki place the intruder in a chokehold before barking some profane threat at him. 
   The villain is smiling the whole time, he even winks at you. 
   "If I ever see you near her again, you won't walk away with your life." Tamaki snarls as the stranger breaks away from his hold.  
   "She's not worth the trouble." He laughs, raising one hand before sending brilliant blue flames blasting towards Tamaki. 
   You scream involuntarily, reaching out for the Hero as he jumps away from the flames. Once they're gone, the villain is gone as well. Like some cheap magician disappearing off stage. The room is almost entirely untouched by the burst of fire, at most, the tip of your comforter is singed. 
   The second the fire is gone, Tamaki is walking towards you urgently, pulling you to your feet so he can cradle your face. 
   "Are you ok? Did he touch you? What happened?" His inky eyes search your face frantically. 
   You don't answer, you just stutter, clinging to his hands until you can finally squeak out, "I'm ok." 
   His shoulders drop as he sighs, hands loosening their grip. His eyes flicker down to the necklace, his gaze softens when he sees how pretty it looks on you. 
   "Y-you… Do you like it?" He asks timidly, glancing up at you. 
    You breathe for a moment, slightly taken aback by the sudden shift in attention. 
   "I love it." You say quietly, still trembling. 
   He just saved you, really saved you from a real villain who was planning God knows what, and he's worried about your necklace? 
   "It's so pr-pretty on you…" He reaches down to touch it, leaving one hand on your cheek. 
   You take the moment to breathe, remind yourself that you're safe, that you're with a hero now. You observe Tamaki's almost casual appearance, a dry fit shirt and simple tactical pants. It almost helps you relax, seeing him like so… at ease? 
   His fingers play with the pearl, deep eyes transfixed. Something nearly uncontrollable swells within his chest. It burns and aches and eats at him. You're so close, you're so warm, so soft. He could have you, he could just take you. 
   "Tamaki?" You prod gently, your own chest stirs, and something pulls you towards him.
   His eyes snap up to yours, and something shifts in the air. It feels sticky, heavy, too hard to breathe. His gorgeous form towers over you, pressing you back up against the wall as his eyes devour your trembling body. 
   "Thank you f-for saving me." You whisper.
   He nods earnestly, his breathing is shaking, his hands feel like they're holding back. 
   "Anything. Anything for you." 
   That line, that makes you ache.
   How long have you felt so lukewarm, so overlooked and forgotten? Too long, far too long. Now, with Tamaki looking down at you like you're priceless, you feel fiery, you feel seen and remembered. 
   Your hands grasp at his wrists, your eyes flick down to his parted lips. You're not sure what you want to happen next, but you want him as close as you can get him.
   "If you let me start, I will not stop." His voice drops and it makes your breath catch. 
   He feels it too, then. 
   Is it the high of what you've just gone through? Is it just your body trauma bonding with the man that just saved you? Or do you really, really want him so bad it hurts? 
   His tone is warning and his eyes are frantic. 
   "Please." Is the only thing that falls from your quivering lips. 
   Consequences be damned, motives especially be damned. You need him, and he needs you. That's enough explanation for tonight. 
   He consumes you much like the villains flames, his lips are on yours almost too fast, his hands are greedy as they hold your face to his. 
   While you feel similar to a lovesick girl getting kissed for the first time, Tamaki feels like a prisoner finally set free. He feels like a lion that was held in a cage and taunted with a piece of meat. He feels like the door has finally been opened, and he can finally sink his teeth in. 
   "I wanna feel you." He brings his mouth away from yours with much reluctance, leaving his forehead pressed against yours. 
   You flounder for a moment, with your mouth feeling dry and your limbs feeling heavy. 
   "Where?" You choke out, searching his face for any tell. 
   "God, everywhere." It's a broken request, said like a secret. 
   "Take it. Whatever you want." Your boldness surprises you both. 
   You're hooked on the exhilaration, you're craving more, you want to feel something. Even after just a walk home and a coffee date, you want to feel it with Tamaki. 
   "Don't give me that…" He shivers as he presses his body against yours, making it very evident how much of an affect you're having on him. 
   "I'll ruin you." He whimpers when you grind back against him, your hands tug at his shirt and you look up at him with wide eyes. 
   "Who said I don't want that?" 
   You both stand there frozen, waiting for the other to move, to prove that this isn't a dream. 
   "Fuck." 
   His hands descend from cradling your face so they can wrap around your neck with the most gentle grip. 
   He watches you intently, feels your breath quicken, cherishing the way you bite your lip when his fingers tighten slightly. 
   Internally, Tamaki is fighting the most challenging battle he's ever had to face. He's had to take on a wide variety of formidable enemies, but right now, nothing seems more formidable than having to hold himself back when he finally has you in his arms. 
   He wants to take and take and take, for as long as you'll let him… maybe even longer. 
   She's mine now.
   Something shifts in his gaze just then, making him look almost primal. It makes your chest feel frozen, makes it difficult to breathe or focus. 
   His hands shift around your neck, they feel almost… slippery? Their texture is different, their movement is more fluid. Then, you feel it, the distinct sensation of a suction cup latching against your skin. 
   Tentacles. He's made each of his fingers a tentacle.
   Your eyes stay locked on his, both of you in a heated trance as you watch how the other responds. 
   One slick tendril crawls up to latch onto your chin, he turns your head upwards and to the side with a thoughtful look. It's almost like he's sizing you up, appraising you. 
   After a thick moment of silence, he finally speaks. 
   "I'm going to make you cry." It's a depraved promise, beautifully whispered with no shame. 
   You stand there, held by him, captured by him. You're helplessly entranced, all rational thought is long gone as you reel over the implications of his statement. All you can know for sure, is you want more. 
    Despite every red flag, regardless of any common sense, you want more. 
   "I dare you." You say back to him, the desperation to feel anything other than mundane spurs you onward.
   He receives the words like it's a smack to the face, some shock evident in his eyes. He didn't take you for a brat, but he can certainly roll with it. 
   "You're gonna make this fun for me, aren't you?" He questions, his tentacles grip you tighter now, reminding you who has the high ground. 
   Mine. 
   The air shifts, something heavier takes over the mood, it settles in your ribs and wraps around your heart. 
   He guides you away from the wall, shepherding you around until your back is towards your bed. He starts walking you backwards until your knees buckle once they hit the mattress. 
   You sit there, gazing up at him, held still by his quirk, transfixed by the power he exudes as he towers over you. 
   "Has anyone ever had you before?" He asks, finally returning his hand to normal so he can cradle your cheek. 
   The question has your stomach burning with nerves. 
   No, nobody ever has. 
   You shake your head, looking down, cheeks burning as you try to hide your embarrassment. 
   His reaction shocks you immensely, his whole body shutters and he drops to his knees. His hands settle on your waist as he moves between your legs. 
   "Th-this is… all mine then?" He asks, he rubs his thumbs over the bottoms of your ribs affectionately. 
   His eyes are wide and reverent as he waits for your answer, looking like you're some anointed goddess. His eyes skate over every feature he can, and he cherishes each one. 
   Your confession nearly knocks the wind out of him, especially with how sweet you look, all blushing and embarrassed. It makes his need to rip you apart even stronger. 
   "Please...let me give you everything…" His hands tighten on you and you feel them shaking.
   You study him for a second, at a complete loss for words, he seems so… devoted. It pulls on your heart, clouds your mind and lights your body up. How could you possibly say no to him? How on earth could you turn someone away when they’re looking at you like you’re placed on an altar ready to be worshiped. 
   Carefully, like you’re trying not to frighten a beast, you reach out and touch his face. He moves into your touch like a lonely cat, desperate for affection and recognition. 
   “Please…” You breathe. 
   And that’s all it takes. 
   His breath leaves his lungs in a harsh rush as he moves forward like a leopard, lean and precise as he forces you onto your back. 
   Your blood rushes so quickly you swear you can hear it, your mouth goes dry as he stares you down. He’s suddenly less reverent, now he’s ravenous. A dangerous, carnivorous look dances in his dark eyes. His judgement is clouded just like yours, only it fuels him, while your state is much more terrified. Any spunk you had in you is thrown out the window as he leers over you.
   You shrink into the mattress as he hovers above you on all fours, heavy eyelids and parted lips giving him a nearly drugged look. 
   “When you say everything-” He whispers, moving so he can settle on his knees between your open legs, “Do you mean this too?” He drops his hips as he questions you, pressing something very hard into your thigh, something very intimidating. 
   He watches your eyes go wide, a wicked grin spreading across his face when you gasp after he rolls his hips. His arms cage you, a strong hand placed on either side of your head, the position makes you feel so pathetic, so helpless, but it gives you an incredible rush. 
   “Don’t look so scared, it won’t hurt.” He dips down to press his hot, open mouth against your neck, tongue lapping at your pulse. A dark chuckle leaves his chest, “Not much, at least.” 
   Then he’s definitely less reverent, he’s no longer worshipful, he’s a wicked, unleashed best. His hands are selfish as they remove your clothes, his mouth is voracious against your skin. He has you panting and twitching in seconds, musing at you when your reactions are particularly strong. 
   It’s when he snakes down your body, wetting your skin with his tongue, settling between your breasts so he can suck harshly at the heated skin, that you finally feel something break within you. You arch into his touch, fisting your hands in his raven hair, whimpering so beautifully for him as he works you up. 
   He knows what he’s doing, he’s skilled, well equipped for pulling you apart. He’s already descended into some debauched state of being, and he’s pulling you down with him. 
   “Nobody’s ever tasted this sweet little cunt before, have they?” He asks against your skin, latching his mouth back to the spot he’s focused on marking, but looking up at you with inquiring eyes. 
   You try to swallow, shake your head, do something, but all you can do is lay there naked and gasping.
   He laughs again, a wicked thing that leaves his chest like a wisp of wind. He slides a hand up your body, he flicks over your nipple with his thumb on the way up, pulling another whimper out of you. 
   His hand latches onto your jaw, then he shakes your head for you, doing what he knows you can’t. 
   “Oh baby…” He sighs, “You saved it for me?” He teases, hips grinding against you, the cloth of his pants creates a strange kind of friction against your clit, not unpleasant, but not pleasurable. Where the hell did the sweet, stuttering hero go? If you didn’t know any better, you’d say he looks deviant… almost villainous.
   “Tama- please.” You shiver, not sure what you’re asking for, but certain that you need more. 
   “Good girl, talk to me.” His hand slinks down your throat before he rises to his knees. 
   Your eyes lock on the tightness of his pants, trying not to panic at the sheer size of the imprint he’s making on them. 
   His shirt is pulled over his head, messing his hair in the most handsome way, and the breath is ripped from your lungs. 
   He’s stunning, broad and strong looking. He’s all porcelain skin over well trained muscle. Built perfectly for the work he does. Built perfectly for ripping apart poor little girls like you. 
   “I liked the look you got when I had my tentacles on you.” He sighs, letting a hand fall to your bare stomach so he can trace lazy circles against you. 
   “Did you like that? Do you want me to use my tentacles to play with you?” He questions. 
   His voice is low, it’s rich and warm and dripping with seduction. Nothing like the tentative, wobbly tone he usually has. It rips the ground out from underneath you, leaves you panting and blinking like a brain dead fool as you gawk up at his prowling form. 
   “Just a yes or no, if you can manage it.” He smiles sweetly up at you, splaying his hand across your quaking abdomen. 
   You breathe deeply, trying to steady yourself, trying to catch up with what he’s said. 
   “Y-yes.” You whisper, barely audible, hardly heard over your labored breathing. 
   His other hand mirrors the one he has on you, sliding around to hold you by the waist, a gentle cage meant to establish dominance. 
   “Yes… what?” He prompts, pressing his thumbs down. 
   You falter then, your tongue feels heavy, your mind slows and you’re suddenly void of all vocabulary. Were you really really about to let one of the most well known pros wreck your body with his quirk? Were you actually laid out for him like this? You know so little of him, your only information gathered from small talk, but something about that had you buzzing. 
   You could be whoever you want to be, you don’t have to be the floundering virgin. You don’t have to be so damn shell shocked. 
   “Yes, D-daddy.” You test, hoping to God or whoever is listening that you got the right name. 
   By the way his eyes flutter closed, the way his grip tightens, the way his body tenses, you sure as hell did. 
   “That’s it.” He sighs, “-and what about you?” He wonders, his hold going gentle again. 
   You? What about you? 
   Tamaki watches you carefully, barely containing the raging storm inside him, barely holding back the carnal urge to turn every limb to a pretty purple tentacle and stuff you until you’re crying for mercy. 
   Not yet, don’t fuck this up. 
   “Princess? Darling?” He asks, lowering himself back down to kiss down your stomach, looking up at you through his thick lashes. 
   “Whatever you want.” You answer. Your sweet, sacred submission makes him close his eyes and breathe in. 
   Hold it. Not. Yet.
   “You’re like an angel.” He breathes, making you shiver under the weight of the high praise. 
   He notices your reaction immediately, smiling to himself. 
   “So that’s it.” He presses a long kiss just under your belly button, bringing attention to how naked you are, and how naked he is not. 
   Your thighs squeeze together and your arms come up to cover your chest, suddenly overwhelmed by the urge to keep it all out of view. 
   His hands are on your wrist and his body is crouched over yours again before you can blink. He pins your hands beside your head, looking down at you with some wild, unbridled kind of look in his eyes. 
   “You do not get to hide from me.” His shoulders flex as he pushes your wrists down into the mattress, earning a whine from you as the pressure starts to ache. 
   “You’re mine. That means I get all of you.” He bites the words off, but keeps his voice quiet. 
   You should be scared, crying even, but the only thing you feel is exhilaration, the ache between your legs and the fluttering of your heart as he overpowers you with just the look in his eyes and a few harsh words. 
   “Do you understand me?” He eases up on your wrists slightly, looking more stern, less unhinged. 
   “I-I do, I’m sorry.” You whimper out. 
   He considers you for a brief second, eyes growing softer as he watches the way your pretty lip trembles. 
   “It’s ok.” He releases your wrists and speaks gently, “You’re ok.” 
   The reassurances makes you dizzy, especially in contrast with how rough he just was. 
   "Hold still for me, angel." Then he’s back to mouthing at your skin.
   His teeth meet your collarbone and your hands reach for his messy hair. 
   “There?” He asks against you, a smile in his voice as he lets his teeth gather your skin again. The spot he finds makes you dizzy, you feel the heat spread across your cheeks and the tips of your ears. 
   Tamaki is still stuck in his own chains, fighting against them as he focuses on the way you twitch for him, the way your body rolls when he bites harder. 
   So she likes it.
   Your body heats up, it's all so overwhelming. It's so different from anything you've ever felt, and you can't believe it's with him. 
    Then his kisses get more sloppy, his teeth are sharper against you. He leaves you shining with his spit, painted in blooming purple and red bruises as he begins his journey down your body. 
   "Da-addy." You sniffle when he bites into the underside of your breast. 
   It doesn't feel loving, it doesn't feel passionate, it just feels rough. 
   "Hush." He mumbles against you, "If you can't take this I might as well stop now." He looks up at you, challenging you. 
   "I can t-take it, I can." You breathe, nodding, looking at him with begging eyes, "Please, don't stop." 
   He honest to god growls against you. You couldn't possibly know what you do to him, how sweet your willingness sounds, how beautiful you look laid out for him. He knows he should take his time, and he resents that fact. He almost resents you for being so sweet and needy. With all the things he wants to do to you, he almost, almost, wishes you had at least some experience. This makes you his completely, though, and he wouldn’t trade that for anything. 
   His hot mouth moves lower and lower until he's tonguing at your hip bone, pulling the skin into his mouth so he can work his teeth against it. He will mark you wherever he can, as long as you'll let him. 
   Your hips roll up against him, making him smirk at how needy you're acting. 
   "Ask for it." He whispers, hungry hands slide up the outsides of your thighs, "Ask for what you want." 
   His fingers dig into the meat of your thighs, sending the breath from your lungs as he glares up at you. He lets his wet tongue loll out to give a teasing flick against the crux of your thigh. 
   You take a deep breath in and cling to the sheets for dear life, "Please, use your mouth on me." 
   He smiles so sweetly then, looking mildly amused. 
   "Here?" He goes back to that same spot, sucking and teasing, looking all too pleased with himself. 
   "Be specific, angel, tell me where you need me." 
   Tamaki knows for a fact that he didn't have to spend his time making you ask for things, he knows what you want, he knows how to give them to you. He could take whatever he needs, probably without much a fight from you, but what fun would that be? He would miss the pretty blush creeping across your skin, and the sweet little tears in your big eyes. No, he wouldn't be missing this, not for the world. 
    "I wanna feel your tongue, please, use your mouth on m-my cunt." You shiver, timid and uncertain about your phrasing. 
   It seems to do the trick though, because Tamaki's eyes nearly roll to the back of his head. 
   He answers with a low moan before grabbing you by the insides of your thighs so he can spread you open. Once the air of the room hits you, you're made painfully aware of just how soaked you are. 
   It makes Tamaki look like a wild man, all blown out pupils blushing cheeks. 
   Almost in slow motion, he presses his tongue into the spot right above your clit, making you whine and buck against his mouth. 
   "Needy little thing." He says, giving your thighs a gentle squeeze, "But I suppose I have teased enough." 
   Then he's on you, and the second his tongue meets your weak spot you know you're ruined. You know that not one person will ever hold a candle to Tamaki Amajiki. 
   He pulls away for only a second, just to whisper praises up to you, "Your cunt tastes like everything I've ever needed." 
   You huff at him in disbelief, not knowing what to say or do, heart soaring because of his confession.
   Then he dives back in, and he gets sloppy with it, setting a pace that feels so good it aches. The heat spreads through every limb, and settles somewhere deep in your chest. Everything tingles and burns, and breathing seems nearly impossible. 
   Internally, Tamaki is raging. He’s so close to losing it, he feels himself slipping, your taste spreads across his tongue is the culmination of months of watching and waiting and wanting. He wants to drown in you, he wants to rip you to shreds. No more watching you through windows, no more fucking his fist while he wishes with everything he has that it was your precious little pussy. He has you now, spread open and vulnerable. He knows he could shove your face into the pillows and let loose on you, stuff every hole with an invasive tentacle, the thought makes him even more feral, it makes him work even harder as he eats you. 
   Every roll of his tongue against your clit makes you throb and buck, which makes him growl and push you down against the mattress. He's loud and messy, slurping and moaning, letting it drip down his chin and his throat, never once letting up. 
   Your head is thrown back against the pillows, eyes drilled shut. You know damn well if you saw him, you wouldn't last another second. He builds you up until your thighs are trembling and you're a whiny little mess. 
   Perfect. 
   Suddenly, the texture of his tongue changes drastically. It's much more slippery, and much thicker. Your head shoots up, and you nearly sob at what you see. Tamaki, with his eyes wild and his jaw dropped, is letting a wicked looking tentacle hang from his mouth. 
   His quirk. 
   He smirks up at you as the tip of it writhes against your clit, flicking and circling as he watches the tears start to fall from your face. You can't possibly keep up, you didn't know anything could ever feel this good. 
   You watch the suction cups ripple as he moves the muscle against you, then he does the unthinkable. He latches one of them onto your clit. Your eyes cross and you bring a fist to your mouth so you can bite on it and muffle your screams. 
   He hates that. 
   With another rumbling growl, he lets his hands turn to tentacles as well. You watch helplessly as he snakes them up your arms, ripping your hand away from your mouth so he can pin both limbs to the bed. The tentacles are strong, surprisingly warm, and so damn slippery. 
   It's hard to tell if you're close to the edge, it's felt that way the whole time, everything feels so hot and tight and good. 
   He smiles as you cry out and thrash against the bed, full of admiration for the usefulness of his own quirk.
   “Too much! D-daddy, it’s too much.” You sniffle out as you feel a stinging feeling in your cunt, it’s not necessarily an unpleasant sting, but it’s too much.
   He ignores your objection, choosing to simply suck harder at your overstimulated sweet spot. He revels in your pitifully low threshold, planning to do so much worse to your poor, inexperienced body. 
   The ache in your cunt continues to push the tears from your eyes, and eventually, drool from your mouth. The suction cup works dutifully against your clit, making you feel so overwhelmed you don't know if you can cum. 
   Then you feel the prodding at your entrance. 
   Then you really scream. 
   Holding that one little suction cup to your clit, he snakes the tip of his tentacle into your dribbling hole. He furrows his dark brows and moans against you when he feels how tight you are, desperate to feel the velvety walls around his cock.
   "Holy fucking shit." You gasp. 
   He watches the dramatic rise and fall of your quaking chest, your baffled eyes trying to keep track of everything happening to your body, and he swears he falls even more in love. 
   You're so willing, so compliant, so at his mercy. 
   He crooks the tip of the tentacle towards himself just a bit, and it's like you've been struck by lightning. You cum hard, harder than you ever have. You're a mess of twitching limbs, shivering as your cunt clenches so hard your feel it in your fucking chest. You sob into the air, broken and tearful as he works you through it. 
   You feel the hold on your arms tighten as your body arches away from the mattress. As you feel every inch of you ignite, you know that you're ruined for everyone else. 
   As soon as you lower yourself so you're flat to the mattress, the tentacles around your arms slip away and turn back into his hands. 
   The one between your legs still plays with you a little bit, prodding at your clit, lapping up your mess. Tamaki laughs as you jump and twitch, whimpering and gasping as he milks your body for every after shock you can give him. 
   You watch him pull the tentacle back into his mouth, flicking it over his lips to gather your release before disappearing into his mouth. You watch his eyes flutter shut, you watch him shiver and you hear the sweetest little moan in the back of his throat. 
   “You’re pretty when you cry.” He mumbles, looking up at you with the most tender look in his eyes. It’s a harsh contrast with all the cum dripping down his chin. 
   “You move a lot, too. It’s fun.” He states, almost like some kind of twisted review, “I don’t mind holding you down like that.” 
   The drop in the tone of his voice makes a chill creep up your spine. 
   “In fact…” He lifts himself up so he can start to crawl up your body, “I really, really enjoyed it.”
   You gasp for words, wind stolen from your lungs as he presses his messy mouth against your sternum. 
   “Something tells me you did too.” He whispers. 
   Your voice is finally found, somewhere deep in your chest, hidden and nearly forgotten, “What makes you say that?” You ask timidly. 
   He pulls his head up to look down at you with a confident smirk, “The mess you made.” 
   To prove his point, he swipes two fingers through your folds, gathering your creamy release before holding it up to the light. He looks so damn proud, like he’s showing off. 
   “Messy girl.” He smiles, as you watch him bring his coated fingers to his lips, sucking the sin off with a greedy pop from his lips. 
   “Oh, how selfish of me.” He sighs before grabbing you by the chin, “I should share.” 
   He pulls your mouth open then slowly leans over you so he can push the mess back through his lips. You oblige like a robot, stunned by the debauchery, letting him guide you through this act. He lets it fall from his lips slowly, creating a long string from his mouth to yours. The second it hits your tongue, something clicks for you. Something dark and smokey settles in your gut, something all consuming and blinding. It rids you of boundaries and reservations, it fills you with nothing but the man in front of you. 
   He watches you with a pointed gaze, shutting your jaw for you so you can swallow what he gave you. 
   “What do you say?” He asks. 
   You feel the burn in your chest, the embers in your skin, “More, please.” 
   “Fucking hell," The words tumble out as a breath mostly, "You want more?" He questions, grabbing you by the wrist so he can place your palm just above the waist of his pants. 
   You nod up at him, vision blurred by the heat of his skin against your palm. 
   "Then take it." He leans down to say it, biting off the words. 
   A challenge. 
   You can't possibly disappoint him, you can't possibly leave him wanting. Take it? How are you supposed to take it? 
   In a wild moment of confidence, mostly your body moving without the permission of your mind, you wrap your legs around his lean hips so you can flip him onto his back. 
   Your eyes lock the second you feel him pressing against you, hard and thick, and terribly intimidating in length. 
   He watches you for a moment, then hastily grabs you by the back of the neck so he can pull you down for another kiss. It's hot and needy, full of wicked want and unabashed selfishness. It tickles your ribs, creeps up your neck, and secures itself greedily around all of your common sense. 
   Tamaki had no intentions of letting you take anything, it's a game to him. He'll let you have your moment, let you feel like you have the reigns, but he'll take it right back. His has you under control, he vows that he always will.
   Your chest flutters with a clawing, aching feeling. 
   More more more. 
   "Fuck me." It's a prayer, whimpered against his delicate lips, "Please, fuck me." You dig your hands into his hair, cherishing the sweet noises they leave him as you beg. 
   Under control.
   "Tell me you need it." He sighs, answering your prayer by sending his hands down to work urgently at his belt. 
   "Tell me you need me." 
   You bring your face back from his just enough to look into his dark eyes, and you see tears welling in them. 
   He needs to feel needed.
   "Please, I need it, I need you, Suneater." 
   Everything freezes for a brief second, the air thickens and his eyes darken as you wait with a held breath for his next move. 
   Then, everything is flying around you. You feel the bite of fingertips against your waist, your stomach hits the mattress, possibly the sound of his pants being taken off. Your senses are dulled by the raging swirl of emotions beating inside you as your hips are lifted up, and a hand shoves your face into the pillow. 
   "Who's your hero?" His voice is rough, his hand gathers your hair and cranks your head to the side, "Who is your fucking hero?" He's barking the words out now, harsh and demanding. 
   And holy hell does it get you going. 
   "You are! You're my hero, Suneater." You cry out, craning your neck to look at him. 
   You expected furrowed brows, a straight mouth and furious eyes. What you're met with is nothing of the sort. A soft pink blush across his cheeks and the tips of his pointed ears, tears wetting his cheek, and a quivering lip. 
   With your eyes on him, he makes a show of sliding his hand down his front so he can grab at his length. He lets it fall against your ass, heavy and painfully hard. 
   "Don't forget that." He says simply, sliding his thick head down through your slicked lips. 
   The contact makes you both shudder deep in your souls. 
   "Daddy, please." Your voice is pitiful as you fist the sheets and press back against him. 
   "So slutty." He muses, releasing your hair so he can run his nails down your back, "Poor thing, never been fucked, needs it so bad, doesn't she?" 
   You nod fervently and fuss as he presses his head against your tight hole. You tense and shiver, not at all prepared for what's to come. 
   "I need it, I need you, please please please." You have one thought now, no reservations, you need him. 
   "I'm gonna ruin this little cunt." He says, a warning tone in his voice. 
   The hand that was tracing your spine suddenly feels very cold and wet. 
   His damn quirk. 
   He takes his time, letting the thick tentacle slither around your waist. It wraps around you twice, teasing you with the pops of the suction cups, leaving pretty purple circles all over your abdomen. 
   He lifts you easily, pulling you up so your back is pressed against his chest. 
   "Ruin it, please, it's yours, I'm yours." You sniffle, looking down at your trapped position. 
   With a low, menacing growl, he sinks his teeth into your neck, and his cock into your heat. 
   Tamaki holds his breath, willing himself not to fill you up right this second. You're too damn tight, so warm and velvety. You're so perfect, and so completely his. 
   You sob into the air, hands reaching out to hold the headboard as you feel like you're being ripped apart. 
   "Oh don't scream, Angel, people might think something's wrong." His voice is shaking now, and the hold on your waist tightens. 
   You focus on relaxing, letting your walls lose their tension, but it's all fruitless. He's too big, he fills you too well, and all you can do is take it. 
   "Here, let me give that mouth something to do." 
   His other hand comes around to hold your throat, turning each finger into a tentacle again. It leaves you reeling and gasping as he presses further into you, wrapping what would be his middle finger around your throat. He wraps it around twice, like he did with your waist. The appendage comes up to rest its tip on your bottom lip. 
   The sensation makes you dizzy, especially when it finally snakes into your panting mouth. It doesn't really taste like anything, it just feels wet and slick, the texture of the suction cups is the strangest thing about it. He rocks his hips so gently, squeezing you tighter everywhere he's holding you. 
   You don't feel like a moth drawn to a flame, you feel like a moth caught in a spider's web. All tangled up, not willing to fight to escape, not even wanting to. 
   "You're so damn tight." He stutters out, pressing his hips flush against your own. 
   You cry out and gag against the tentacle stuffing your mouth, digging your nails into the headboard as he chuckles behind you. 
   "You're such a pretty little mess for me. Your cunt's already dripping." 
   You don't doubt it, it has to be with how badly your core aches around him as he stretches you. 
   Your thighs start to tremble as you wait for him to move, sniffling as the tears fall from your eyes and the drool spills from your lips. 
   A pretty little mess indeed. 
   Slowly, he drags his hips back with a hiss before pushing back in. He takes his time with it, building an agonizing pace that offers you no release. There's only the pressure, only your clit screaming for attention, only the maddening tease of his head against your sweet spot with every torturous push in. 
   "Fuck angel, I gotta break this pussy in, don't I?" His words pull another pitiful moan from you, nodding and whining is all you're capable of. 
   His picks up speed just enough to make you tense even more, still painful, still mind numbing. 
   "You look so fucking pretty on the end of my cock." 
   His words pour over you like hot wax, heating you up, making you drip. The heat seeps deep into your skin, making you squirm and clench. 
   He speeds his thrusting up slightly, then more, and more, and more, until you’re shrieking and choking against the tentacle stuffing your mouth. Your hands fly up to claw at it, wanting to tell him how it feels, wanting to thank him for the way he’s fucking you. 
   It’s still painful, each thrust splits you open with a sting, but it’s so damn good. The sharp stretching is absolutely spectacular, and it sends your brain into somewhere dark and smokey, it leaves you with a wide open feeling in your chest. It leaves you wanting more. 
   “What’s the matter, sweet thing?” He taunts, “Tell me about it, then, how’s Daddy make you feel?” He turns each tentacle back into a finger slowly, pulling out of your mouth, leaving you a gasping mess. 
   Through spit and tears, you praise him, words spewing out between moans as your body jolts from each punishing snap of his hips. 
   “So fucking good! You make me feel so good!” You cry, clinging to his forearm as he brings you closer to his chest. 
   The tentacle around your waist starts to slither down your stomach, “This isn’t even half of what I’m capable of doing to you,” The tip of it gives the hood of your clit a teasing flick, “-and you’re already such a slut for me.” His chuckle is dark and full as the tip of his skilled tentacle zeros in on your sweet spot, rubbing and wriggling against it until you’re screaming. 
   “Say it. Say you’re my little slut.” His words are a harsh demand against your ear, leaving no room for disobedience. 
   “I- f-fuck- I can’t! I ca-an’t!” You sob, not able to catch your breath between thrusts. 
   Tamaki eats that right up, swelling with pride as he fucks you speechless, delirious with the fact that he finally has your cunt gripping his cock. 
   Before he can bark another order at you, you finally pull the words out of your closing throat, "I'm your slut," You gasp as drool rolls down your chin, "I'm your little slut." 
   He throws his head back and throws everything he has into every thrust, his moans are obscene, high pitched and broken as he feels how hard you squeeze him when he speeds up the tip of his tentacle against your clit. 
   "Give it to me, I feel that greedy cunt tryin' to milk me, give me that fuckin cum." He huffs against your ear. Your entire body seizes up, shaking violently as ribbons of pleasure shoot through you. You pulse around Tamaki almost violently, earning some very rough sounding moans from him as he works you through it. 
   Your orgasm lasts for what feels like an eternity, you shiver with every throb of your walls. It possesses that same almost painful pleasure, and it's everything you've ever wanted. At some point, the tentacle around your waist turns to a hand, still absentmindedly rubbing you as you come down. 
   He lets your torso fall forward, leaving you bent over and exposed for him. His hands smooth over your ass, and you realize he's still so fucking hard. 
   "Can you take more, angel?"
   You nod against the tear soaked pillow you've pressed your face into, not sure that you even can, but willing to try. 
   "Good," He bends down to press kisses into your spine as he pulls out, "'Cause you're going to." 
   He pulls out, almost full of regret, wanting to live the rest of his life buried inside you.
   Now he can have some fun, mind cleared slightly by finally feeling you come undone around him. He's still hazy, still slightly frenzied, but less ravenous, less of a starved man waiting for his meal, more of a well fed man waiting for desert. 
   His hands hold your waist gently so he can guide you onto your back. You oblige, more than willing to let him have his way. 
   You finally get a good look at him, and you're astounded by just how pretty his dick looks. All pale and pink, swollen and shiny, it makes you dizzy with admiration. 
   "You're terribly beautiful." He whispers, cradling your waist so he can worship your stomach with soft kisses, "I don't believe you're even real." 
   Sweetness oozes through your tingling limbs, pouring over you like warm honey. His tender mouth brings you back down, soothes you into a state of catharsis. Your body settles, but your heart picks back up when his lips are on your hips. 
   Your eyes meet his, and you share the sentiment that he just might not be real. He pears up at you through a mess of indigo hair, eyes full of what you can only describe as devotion. 
   He explores your body with his hands, dipping his thumbs into every crook he can, palming handfuls of your plush thighs. He seems to have a soft spot for your hips though, pulling at your love handles, letting his breath speed up each time until he's panting against you. 
   With every pull of his hands, you bend for him, push into him, work with him. You both find a rhythm, falling into an easy dance of grabbing and needing. 
   "I want to keep you." He breathes, placing a hand on either side of your waist so he can lift himself over you, "I want to have you." 
   He gathers your legs while he speaks, hooking his hands under your knees so he can fold you up. 
   "You have me." You whisper, reaching out to lay your fingers on the sides of his ribs. 
   You watch his skin twitch under your touch, you watch his eyebrows sag into an almost heartbroken look. 
   He looks down between your bodies, quivering when he sees his heavy cock resting against your stomach. He feels so incredibly proud of you in that moment, for taking him so well, and asking for more. 
   She's mine. She said I have her. 
   The concept brings another wave of primal desire crashing down on his self control. 
   His fingers dig into your skin, biting at the flesh, spreading you open for him as he puts his weight on your legs. 
   You clench in anticipation, teased by the pressure of his hot length resting against you. 
   "I can take it." You say quietly, sliding your hands up his lean body so you can lace them into his inky hair. 
   He melts into your touch, stunned by your gorgeous submission. 
   "Fuck, angel." His words are shattered as they fall from his lips. 
   You reach down between your bodies and wrap your hand around his weeping tip. He trembles and hiccups as you push him down so he's lined up with where you need him. 
   "Please, I want all of it." m. 
   “Careful.” He pants, looking down at you with a warning in his eyes. 
   It doesn’t create hesitation in you though, only curiosity. 
   “We’re being careful now?” You tease, sliding him up and down your slit. 
   “You little devil.” He hisses, grabbing your wrist harshly, “You think you’re cute, don’t you?” 
   You freeze and blink up at him, once again shocked by his quick change in temperament. 
   “You wanna act like a tease now?” He questions, bringing your hand up so he can press it into the mattress with his. 
   “Did you find yourself a cute little attitude?” His voice drips with venom, it bites at your insides and melts your skin. 
   “That’s ok, angel.” He lets your hand go so he can press on the backs of your thighs again, successfully folding you completely in half, “I’ll fuck it out of you.” 
   Before you can breathe, blink, or respond, he’s splitting you open with a brutal pace. He laughs deep in his chest when you cry out, he mocks you when your hands fly to his abs in an attempt to slow his assault. A wicked smile spreads across his pretty face when tears stain your flushed cheeks once again. 
   “Cryin’ again so soon? Is it too much, baby? You need Daddy to slow down?” He’s testing you, only thrusting harder as he taunts you for your sobbing and moaning. 
   “No!” You gasp between tears, “Don’t stop, please, fuck me like that.” 
   “That’s my girl.” 
   His thrusts are ruthless, sharp, unforgiving. He rocks your body and the bed with each plunge in, headboard crashing against the wall. Each drive into you is enchanting, it teaches you something new, opens new doors, shows you a new, brilliant world of depravity. The way the pleasure shoots all the way up your spine with every drag of his cock, it’s something you want to feel until you die, you’d even be happy if this is the way you die. 
   You watch him disappear inside of you over and over, pulling out just as quick, covered in slick and sin. Tamaki is in his own feral world, watching your lovely face crumble and pout as he fills you. His hands are angry against the back of your thighs, nails digging in hard enough to bring little pearls of scarlet to the surface. 
   When you start to whine from the sting, he flashes you a lazy smile before stuffing his fingers into your mouth. He presses the blood covered fingertips into your tongue just enough to make drool spill from the sides of your mouth. 
   “Hush, you’ll learn to love it.”
   His smile turns wolfish when he watches your eyes roll back. It’s all so black-hearted, it’s everything you’ve kept yourself from, it’s everything you’ve ever wanted. 
   You both throb and cry then, your bodies smack as they meet, obscene and wet as you chase your undoing. Tamaki knows he’s not going to last much longer, and he curses himself for it. He doesn’t want to stop, especially when you wince so sweetly when his thrusts are a little too deep. He wants to watch you suck his fingers forever, crying against his palm as he turns you into his perfect little slut. 
   “You’re gonna give me one more, aren’t you, angel? You owe me that, I saved your life after all.” He slides his fingers from your mouth, dragging your spit down your chin before grabbing you by the throat, “Answer if you can, I know it must be hard to speak when you’re getting fucked this good.” 
   His words drown you in lust, your hands claw at his back, painting angry red lines down the pretty porcelain canvas, “Take it! Fuck- Take it, Suneater, take it all.” 
   It’s not a demand, it’s a plea, it’s a craving formed deep within your freshly corrupted heart. 
   Your begging pulls desperate, whiny sounds from him. With his eyes screwed shut he lets the hand on your thigh manifest the tentacles in place of his fingers. He throws all of his energy into that, trying to stall the twitching of his dick as your hot insides massage him with their relentless pulsing.   
   “Are you sure about that?” He tests, letting the tentacles snake around your thigh before slithering down to where your bodies meet. 
   Immediately, one starts flicking at your clit, making your back go rigid as he grins down at his good work. 
   You wail his name, nails biting at his skin even more but he pays no mind. He has a mission, he’s going to take all of it. 
   He focuses on making his tentacles grow, two long enough to reach up your body and tug at your nipples, and one other snaking down through the mess you’re making to prod at your asshole. Your eyes widen with shock as your body ignites, it’s too much, it’s all too much. Every sensation is heightened, every poke and flick and thrust sends shards of pleasure flying through you, piercing you from every direction. 
   You let yourself cry completely then, throwing your head against Tamaki’s collar bone before sobbing into his chest. You know you’re cumming, you can feel it somewhere amongst all the other stimulation, but it’s nearly drowned out, and Tamaki is still fucking you just as hard as he was when this all started. 
   “More, you have more for me, I fucking know it.” He huffs as he finally pushes into your ass with the tentacle. 
   The ones on your nipples latch on with their suction cups as he fills you more and more. 
   “Give it to me, angel, give it all to your hero.” 
   That’s the final push, the last thing you need to send you into the most frenzied orgasm you’ve ever experienced. Your vision goes white as your body convulses, ripped apart by the flames of euphoria that turn everything you’ve ever known to ash. Somewhere in the distance you hear Tamaki praising you, telling you how tight you feel, how beautiful you look, how good you are for him. 
   It’s lost in the fray, though, all blurring together as you shake violently around him. The only thing that brings you back slightly, is the break in his voice when he sobs, “I’m gonna stuff that little cunt with my cum, I’m gonna make you mine.”
   Your hand is at the back of his neck instantly, pulling him down for a messy, aimless kiss. His moans spill into your mouth as his hips falter, turning to slow, stuttering thrusts as he starts to pump his release deep into you. 
   “I’m yours - I’m yours I’m yours I’m yours.” You chant it against his lips as his tears fall to your cheeks, mixing with your own as you both shatter for each other.
   Coming back down isn't easy at all. It's slow and needy, your hands still pulling at whatever skin they can grab, hips rolling against each other, trying with everything you both have to prolong that rapturous feeling. 
   Frantically, painfully, he pulls himself out of you. He slides his hot mouth down your body, nipping and sucking as he descends to your messy cunt. He spreads your legs wide so he can bury his face between them. He teases your clit briefly, but moves quickly to press his open mouth against your hole.
   Your skin boils as you watch the nasty show. His eyes cross sinfully and flutter shut as he tongue at your well used pussy. When he pulls back, his chin is covered in some wretched mixture of your combined releases. He moves back up your body like an animal stalking its prey.
   He grabs your jaw and you open so willingly. His mouth is on yours instantly, pushing the warm liquid onto your tongue with his own. It’s a spunky, intense flavor, almost overwhelming as he spreads it around your mouth. It creates a dark, blurry feeling in your chest, though. It makes you feel alive, it makes you want more.
   He pulls back slowly, a thick string of saliva and sin connecting your lips as he pants down at you. 
   “You’re such a good little girl.” 
   His lips are everywhere, pressing against your cheekbones, your nose, your forehead. His hands return to normal so he can cradle your face. You both lay there, still joined, catching your breath. 
   "Angel?" 
   The tenderness in his voice pulls you back down to earth, and when you open your eyes, you find yourself lost in his. It’s a harsh but marvelous contrast with the sharp edges of his previous behavior.
   "Does anything h-hurt?" He asks timidly. 
   The stutter is back, the anxious look in his eyes, the restlessness in his hands. 
   You reach out to hold his face like he's holding yours, "Tamaki, no, nothing hurts. You made me feel so good." 
   You don't ever want to be a source of hesitation for him again. You want to make it better. He's brilliant, he's brave, he saved your damn life. He doesn't need to be so scared around you. 
   "You're my hero, Suneater." You pull him down for a soft, intimate kiss. 
   He breathes out against you, more of his tears wet your cheeks but you don't mind. 
   He's allowed to feel this, he earned this. 
   When the kiss breaks he searches your face, waiting for you to laugh at him, to push him off, to change your mind. 
   You don't, though. 
   You stay there with him, loving him and full of him. 
   "And you're mine." 
   You both settle there, kissing skin that hasn't been kissed before, finding ways to make each other fall even more. 
   Tamaki tells himself he did the right thing. You don't ever have to know why Dabi chose your house to break into. You don't ever need to be told that he spent endless nights watching you from the window, because he has you know. 
   It would be wrong of him to tell you, you wouldn't understand it. It would break your heart and ruin everything. Then, it would get messy. You might try to run away, and that would mean he'd have to keep you in different ways. 
   He shakes the thoughts from his head. He can keep you like this, laid out and blushing for him, so soft and beautiful. 
   You belong to him now, and that's all that there is. 
   "Can I take care of you?” He asks softly, playing with the necklace he gave you as he gives you a shy glance. 
   “You just did.” You let yourself laugh a little as you play with the hair at the nape of his neck. 
   “No, not like that.” He smiles softly, dipping down to kiss your neck so softly you almost can’t feel it, “Like this.” 
   He presses his lips against a mark you didn’t know he made, lingering for a moment as his eyes flutter shut. 
   “These say that you’re mine.” His thumb traces over one of the circular bruises on your ribs, “They say you have someone protecting you.”
   The prospect makes your heart soar. He’s right, belonging to him means you’ll always be safe, you’ll always have somebody willing to fight for you, maybe even somebody willing to stay with you. 
   “This says that you belong to me.” He loops a finger around the delicate pearl on your necklace, pulling gently, not enough to make you go anywhere, but enough to make you feel the metal tug against the back of your neck. 
   ‘You do belong to me, don’t you.” He asks, a wild, fearful look in his eyes. 
   You do, you just told him so, you just cried to him and vowed that you were his just moments ago. 
   “I do, I belong to you, I swear.” You reassure him, pulling a deep sigh from his chest. 
   You don’t understand the way he aches for you, the way he’s addicted to you. He was already hooked, from just glances and flighty touches. Now, having felt your soft skin, the tuck of your waist, having seen you cry and heard you call his name, he’s willing to admit his obsession. 
   He does take care of you, he does it beautifully. He carries you to the bathroom where he sets you on the edge of the tub. He fills it with warm, soapy water before picking you up bridal style so he can settle into the water with you in his lap. 
   Neither of you bother to turn a light on, content with the glow of the moon shining through the skylight. Tamaki paints your shoulders with soft kisses as he rubs soothing circles into your back. He takes his sweet time, wiping away the sweat and the tears, mindful of the tender spots on the back of your thighs. 
   “Beautiful, you’re so beautiful.” He sighs, “An angel, nothing less.” 
   You melt into him, lost in his praise, blinded by his devotion as well as your own. 
   Tamaki is just as lost, if not more, only becoming more possessive with every gentle touch, with every whispered adoration. 
   This is how it’s meant to be, and you don’t ever need to know how it all fell into place. He did the right thing, after all. This isn’t a problem, he’s in love. He’s in love and now he has you. 
   He intends on keeping it that way.
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nanatsumu · 3 years
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HIGH SCHOOL!SUKUNA x F!READER
thinking about bad boy itadori sukuna who all the kids at school try to steer clear from because they know he’s bad news and if you get involved with him then you’re bound to be tied with bad luck for as long as he lives. well, that is everyone except for the president of the student council who so happens to be his childhood best friend turned lover.
this is mostly written for my own self indulgence and to project my fantasies of having a boyfriend onto sukuna but feel free to treat this as any other headcanon! ps i am pretty sure canon sukuna would kill a baby at any given situation, but this is going to be a revamped version of sukuna written by yours truly ;) and its a high school au so sukuna won’t be a complete menace to society and will actually have a heart heh
also i didn’t realize how long this was going to be??? this is kind of all over place too because i just wanted to throw all of my thoughts onto this post so there might be some plot holes in this LOL
i feel like sukuna would be the type of bad boy who isn’t necessarily a bad boy but everyone at school just paints him as some kind of delinquent because of all the tattoos and piercings he has.
he actually shows up to school more often than you think he would (but that’s only because you’re in most of his classes so long story short: you’re his only motivation for attending class)
“forgets” to bring his work books to class more than usual (in reality he does this on purpose so he has an excuse to be near you) so he requests to sit next to you the entire class period so he can share with you for the meantime but whenever the teachers not looking he’ll go back to admiring your face.
his older twin brother, itadori yuji, is very fond of you since you three grew up together and you both had your chances of being a victim to his antics!
exhibit a: in middle school when you and yuji were watching tv together, the show you two were watching would keep switching to some wrestling match broadcasting on a sports channel and no matter how many times you turned the tv on and off, it just would not stop. but it wasn’t until you heard snickering from the kitchen that you realized sukuna had a spare remote and was the mastermind behind the whole thing.
exhibit b: sukuna and yuji’s mom was the owner of a bakery so every now and then she would have either one of the twins come deliver freshly baked pastries to your household! oh how wrong was she to trust her youngest. sukuna was now a freshman in high school, and by now you would’ve thought that sukuna would have grown out of his childish phase, but WRONG! sukuna was still a menace in your life even past childhood. so when you bit into one of the macaroons, instead of being hit with the overwhelming taste of [favorite flavor], all you could feel was the burning sensation of wasabi kicking into your tastebuds.
yeah after the whole wasabi macaroon freak accident, you stopped accepting everything sukuna offered to you and opted to only eating pastries out of the boxes that yuji delivered to you. (sukuna eventually caught onto this and was just TEENSY bit upset but he would rather down a whole tube of wasabi than to tell you upfront)
now, how did you two even end up dating??? oh boy now that is a story
you see, yours and sukuna’s dynamic growing up was similar to that of tom and jerry’s— you being jerry and sukuna being 10x worse than tom of course
but it wasn’t until a confession after school behind the cherry blossom tree that was known for bringing good luck to successful confessions that sukuna finally realized that maybe he really did like you just a little lot bit
sukuna overheard the boy who was planning on confessing to you talking to his friend group about how “sweet and caring” you are (although sukuna could argue otherwise, you were a little brat. *LIKE HELLO?!&:&:& YOU WEREN’T THE ONE WHO ATE A MACAROON FILLED WASABI**) and obviously his ears perked up at the mention of your name. he grew up with you after all so naturally he would be interested in a conversation that revolved around you.
but then the boys started going on about how “you looked like an easy catch” and how “your body was bangin’!” yeah no, that’s where he drew the line. sure sukuna was an ass and talked shit about you most of the time (in his defense it wasn’t like he was doing it behind your back) but if he ever caught someone else talking about you like that then he would be sure to give them a hard time.
he hid behind one of the bushes near the cherry blossom tree while the boy was professing his love for you. funnily enough, for a moment sukuna forgot why he was originally there because he was too busy trying to stifle a laugh as he watched the boy stumble over his words.
“okay shows over” sukuna thought as the confession was reaching its conclusion, but just as he was about to step in and give the poor boy a piece of his mind, he stopped in his tracks when he heard you roaring with laughter.
“did you really think that i wouldn’t hear about what you and your friends said about me earlier? you’re really pathetic if you think any girl would be easy enough to fall to her knees for you because news flash! you’re a disgusting pig and you deserve to rot in hell for speaking about a girl’s worth like that.”
“it’s kind of sad too, i thought you were a nice boy and i probably would have given you a chance but it seems like you’re even worse than scum! damn it, to think there was somebody out there who’s even worse than sukuna.”
of course sukuna was not pleased to hear that last bit, but he did have a proud grin forming on his face as he watched the boy run away, flustered from your rejection and the embarrassment he was put through.
“sukuna i know you’re hiding behind the bush.”
“huh? i came here way before you got here, there’s no way you could have seen me.” he said as he stood up to his full height.
“well, your laughter isn’t exactly the quietest, plus i can spot that hair of yours from a mile away.”
lets just say, sukuna was glad you didn’t ask him what he was doing there because he wasn’t sure if he could spare the embarrassment of telling you that he was planning on ruining the confession.
after that whole fiasco happened, sukuna started to feel(!&:&::&) things
like he started to notice how you styled your hair differently one day and how you switched to a new perfume that smelled like spearmint (was that weird? for sukuna probably not. he just excuses it as being highly observant)
you weren’t dumb either, you had a feeling sukuna was there that day of the confession because he too had overheard the conversation between the boy and his friends as well (you knew he was prideful and if you brought it up then he probably would’ve denied it)
so from there on out it was just mutual pining at the point except... well.... not really??
i feel like it was just an unspoken agreement between you two that you guys were “together” but not “together together” because he started to treat you differently than he would before. like for example, he’d carry your bag for you whenever you guys would walk home (yuji was confused by this at first because if anything, it would have made more sense to see sukuna make you carry HIS bag, but he eventually caught on to sukuna’s feelings for you because they were twin brothers after all), he started walking you to class more often even though his class was all the way on the other side of the school (you asked him why but he just shrugged and said he was just “killing time” so that he wouldn’t have to go to class and then you ended up scolding him), and there was also that one time you miraculously found a $20 bill in your backpack after mentioning to sukuna that there was this cute top you saw at the mall the other day but didn’t have enough money at the time to purchase it (you asked him about this but he said it was probably yuji, but you didn’t want to pry any further since you wanted to cherish the fact that sukuna cared that much)
but eventually you got sick of this whole push and pull game that you physically had to tug the collar of his school uniform and pull him in for a kiss (he was visibly shocked at this because he never would’ve imagined you as the assertive type. not that he was complaining though)
“oya? didn’t think you liked me this much kitten.” he said laughing while you rolled your eyes.
“as if, i got tired of you being a wuss so one of us had to wear the pants in the relationship.” you snorted, causing him to irk.
to be honest, your relationship with him is smooth sailing because you both were pretty chill people and you didn’t have to worry about him sneaking behind your back to see other girls because 1. literally all the girls at school are terrified of him and 2. he knew what you were capable of doing to him if you were to ever catch him cheating on you so he wants to stay on your good side
jealous and possessive don’t exist in his dictionary because he is the epitome of those two words. remember what i said about how your relationship is smooth sailing? i kinda lied.
he’s easily jealous like for example: when you were in english class and the teacher had you guys jot down some notes, you realized you forgot to ask for your pencil back when you lent it to your friend last period.
so you asked sukuna to borrow a pencil but instead of giving you a pencil, he called you an idiot for being so forgetful.
this makes you mad so you turn to your male classmate since he was sitting on your opposite side and ask him for a pencil instead.
sukuna was practically fuming the entire class period and once the day ended and you two were back at your place, he made sure to mark you real good. (oh he also went out to buy a pack of mechanical pencils to sneak into your backpack so that next time you forget your pencils, you’ll have 10 extra pencils sitting in your backpack as backup)
he’s not a big fan of pda in public, but on the chances he will show some of it, the most he will do is wrap an arm around your shoulder or waist whenever some dude is trying to hit on you.
BUT IN PRIVATE? better buckle up because your in for a ride wink wink
really likes putting hickeys on you to a fault! but will never put any visible ones on your neck because he doesn’t want your parents to view him as some kind of animal (but he has nothing to worry about because your parents really like him and are grateful for the fact that he’s very loyal to you, and you guys grew up together so it’s only natural that your parents are accepting of him since they already know he has a good heart underneath that tough facade of his)
oh, and yuji starts learning how to knock whenever you come over (or shuts himself in his room for the meantime if he thinks it’s unsafe to step out of his room) because chances are, you’re probably making out with sukuna in his room or smth.
now onto the spicy stuff
when you and sukuna first started dating, the first thing you told him was that you weren’t ready to have sex yet because you were nervous and sukuna understood and told you that he was willing to wait for whenever you were ready.
but when you were ready though, it was kind of spontaneous and you weren’t even wearing a matching pair of bra and underwear that day
you two were chilling in your room watching some stupid (according to sukuna) animal documentary when suddenly you felt his hand on your thigh
dating sukuna and all, it was normal for him to have his hands on some part of your body (whether it be your thigh or your waist) while you two were in bed.
but you were feeling a bit bolder HORNEE than usual so you began to leave a hot trail of kisses starting from his jaw all the way down to his neck.
sukuna obviously got the memo but before those kisses could escalate into something more daring, he asked you once more if you were completely sure you wanted to do it and once you gave him the green light, he was quick to tug his shirt over his head and pounce on you.
he started getting really into it though and accidentally bit your thigh which made you loose your high and scold him for it, but he let out a hearty laugh and muttered a quick apology before getting back into business
sike i lied, remember what i said about it being spontaneous? yeah, you technically didn’t loose your virginity to him that day because after he finished prepping you, you both came to a realization that you didn’t have a condom.
oh well, there’s always next time!
i think sukuna is a sucker for pet names: his favorite thing to call you is either kitten or princess and that’s it LOL he finds calling you baby or babe is a bit too cheesy for him
but he likes it when you call him baby or babe ;)
date nights consist of either staying in and cuddling in his room, going out for a walk at night (but very very late though. there’s still lamp posts that guide your way through the streets but it gives you the heebie jeebies to be out walking outside so late. sukuna always reminds you that nothing bad will happen as long as he’s right by your side), or just spending time with you and your families.
but if you’re really down to do it, he’ll probably initiate a make out session that’ll lead to y’all fucking one way or another (he only ever does it if he is 100% sure that you’re feeling it because he knows you get easily embarrassed if he asks you straight up)
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(this part is mainly written for me because i love the idea of sukuna being over at family functions, but it can be applied as part of the general hc heh) if you took him to any of your family functions as your plus one for the first time, all the aunts and uncles would be a bit wary of him at first due to all of the tattoos and piercings he has (sukuna swears he has never felt so self conscious before) but after they strike up a conversation with him and find out that he’s actually a good guy who knows what he wants to do in the future and is very loyal to you, they start to like him more.
your little cousins adore him and love it when he comes over because sukuna is a very tall high schooler which makes him the perfect candidate as a monkey bar
so when you noticed that all the little ones started to climb on his body and mess around with his hair, you were quick to react because you knew your boyfriend was easily irritable which prompted you to think he hated kids
but there was nothing to worry about because when you saw him playing around with them and even crack a smile, you felt your heart grow fuzzy at the sight and you knew right then and there that you wanted to stick by sukuna’s side for the rest of your life
and in the unfortunate circumstances that sukuna is too busy to make it to one of your functions, the first thing everyone asks is “where’s your boyfriend?” or “where’s ‘kuna? i wanna play with him!”
so you have to facetime him and let him know that everyone is wondering where he is (your phone is dead by the end of the night because after the adults get their turn at saying hi to your boyfriend, the kids snatch your phone and end up talking to him for the rest of the night)
but in conclusion, everyone is waiting for the day he gets on one knee to propose to you and your parents are itching to get to get call sukuna their son-in-law :))
also don’t forget that your parents want two grandchildren: one boy and one girl!
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Character Study Angel Dust and Valentino Relationship
This will be a post will be a look on Vizepop’s newest music video for Hazbin Hotel “addict as well as a deep dive of Angel Dust and Valentino Relationship!
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Alright full disclosure Hazbin Hotel is an adult cartoon meant for a mature audience and the subject matter is very dark despite it’s cheery outlook so  if you’re very sensitive to this type of subject or under age please think before you watch the video and also this post will contain dark subject matter on abuse as well. Okay with all that out of the way please enjoy it’s review time!
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First of all this music video is incredible but what’s even more amazing is the character building for Angel Dust and for Valentino. It shows how toxic and abusive Val is to Angel but it showcase his friendship with Cherri. At the start of the dance Angel's face is not just looking towards the audience, he's clearly looking at someone specifically, in the audience making. Especially with that hair flip he does. He’s doing this for someone one... and then we get a fantastic cut away to Valentino and it is bone chilling.
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He’s doing this for Val he wants to be special to him; the way Val’s sun glasses frame Angel silhouette shows how he’s trapped because wants to be loved by him. It should also be noted during this part of the song “I think I deserve some praise...” Also alludes how starved for affection Angel Dust is and wants that praise from Val specifically. But this is how Val keeps Angel Dust under his control in a sense of that he’ll receive it if he’s “good” and does what he says. We get more symbolism of this when Valentino blows smoke towards Angel Dust. And it’s in the shape of a heart that’s being blown towards Angel and is wrapped around him. 
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In a sense he’s kind of blowing Angel a kiss...
Not only that but the fact that it’s smoke also shows how fickle Val’s love is for Angel Dust is. It can disappear and go away at any moment, and that’s why Angel so desperate and tries so hard to obtain it. And the way the smoke wraps around Angel shows Val’s love it’s more like a chain and leash. Though it makes us wonder “why does he love Val”, and how did he end up working for him. Though we actually get an answer during his song Angel Dust when starts he sings about his past and how he got to hell.
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 This scene in the when Angel Dust sings “Despite having overdose and ending up coma-toasted...” giving backstory on how Angel dust died. From Vivziepop (and the Hazbin Hotel wiki) we know he has comes from a Mafia family and has a bad relationship with most of his family members (who are in hell). Which may have been the reason why he started doing drugs (so he had a rough life). Initial he looks distraught and saddened about mentioning but it’s only when the smoke wraps around him and point his towards Val he smiles continues to “...I don’t give a damn~”  locks eyes on to Val which cuts away to Val wickedly smiling being very pleased. 
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What this sequence tells us is Angel while being very sad about his past he doesn’t care about it now because he has Val; he made him forgot about his sorrows!  Right there is where we have our answer, he views as his savior. It implies that Valentino maybe the one that found Angel Dust and “saved him” but in reality to take advantage of him in a weakened state. That’s why Val has an evil grin when he hears Angel sing that, he knows this and as long as he has that card to play he’ll always have a reason to have Angel stay. Which is a real thing an actually abuser does; they use things they’ve done for you as a trump card when there is an argument or guilt trip you into staying with them or forgiving them. Maybe the reason he has stayed with Val for so long...
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Why does he seem unimpressed...
I don’t want to go over every piece of lyrics but he basically goes on singing he gives up on the idea of trying to be good and sober accepting that this is his the rest of his life. Ready and very willing live his live like this as he is now to gestures out to Valentino “your playing with now til the end of the night” as he looks confused to this (I’ll get to why I pointed this out). Willing to live on this “heaven and hell high” going on to sing “ he’s addicted to the madness...”and then it then flashes to him in a crying being comforted by Cherri in his room. I believe this is a flash forward after the show when Angel went home. It is clear he’s sad but also angry at himself... Not only that but Valentino may have done something awful to him... 
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Earlier I pointed out he was gesturing to Valentino because he’s willing to give Val everything because Angel actually love Val during it... and that’s what angers him (Val doesn’t want to be an item with Angel). And during those moments flashing of with Cherri it shows that he’s going to regret that choice,  foreshadowing somethings going to happen leading up to this... Angel’s not addicted to his life style and I think deep down he doesn’t want it in reality he’s saying he’s addicted to Valentino. And he knows very well he’s not treating him right and he’s bad for him. That’s the scary thing about being in an abusive relationship despite being poorly treated you and wanting to leave you can’t. You can’t help but remember the good moments where they show you affection that makes you think its worth saying. And this next scene I think happened before Angel went home with Val (I assume that he’s the one driving Angel Dust home in this scene). This scene just show how much of a scumbag Val and how he really sees Angel.  
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What he’s really cares about is the money that Angel Dust makes not Angel himself, he’s clearly an after thought not even giving him a second glance. Angel is obviously upset at waiting in the wing for Val to pay attention to him. The two girls making out (yes they’re important) Angel can’t even look at them and makes sure he’s looking the other way... Because Angel was hoping that Val would show him some love too but no the first thing he does is check how much he made. And he put in so much effort in the show just for Val and impress him too. You’d assume he’d thank and praise him the amazing show he put on and that performance was especially for Valentino. Though the way he’s just calmly containing his disappointment and anger shows that this is not the first time he’s done this to him just leaving him on the back burner. Just in a sighing slouch and in his head he’s probably thinking “what the hell was I to expect” or “why the hell am I not surprised... “
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“Oh Angel didn’t see you there...”
And only when Val finishes counting all the money does he pull in Angel for a kiss, this pretty much saying “Oh Angel, you made me so much money I can reward you now...” making his love very conditional. And the way he snaps his neck up “oh sorry didn’t see you there...” as if he just remembered him now. He doesn’t love Angel he only loves that money that he brings in. I have think that Angel Dust only tries to be “the best” in porn studios so that he can stay on Val’s radar. But I think at this point in the relationship Angel just experience so much of the abuse and neglect from Val he just expects it. He is just unimpressed and he just drained from all of this. Which tells us two things one Angel Dust may have been under Vals thumb for years and Angel is at his wits end. The expression on Angel Dust face is practically saying “Oh you notice me now” when Val finally starts paying attention to him and Angel just wants to be special to him. And clearly wants to be something more to him than one of his hoes... he’s coming to the realization that may not never get that. He’s just a toy to him something that he can play with and toss out.
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This scene just makes me so sad... when Val forces Angel into the kiss seconds before (if you look carefully) you can see Angel he really was leaning in for the kiss and closing his eyes so he can enjoy it. Showing apart of him really loved Valentino and he wanted this so badly; for his love & affection this just breaks my heart. Val managed to manipulate him to the point that where he thinks he truly loves him. The reason why Val wants to kiss Angel Dust because he thinks one kiss is all he needs to make Angel stay with him. You can see the gears slowly turning in his head, he’s catching on... aware of his mistreatment...this kiss is damage control. But you can see in Angel Dust’s eye he’s questioning “is it worth it...” now Angel starting to get the full picture, even if Val wants him he doesn’t care for him and tries to stop Val before he gets sucked in again. He’s had enough and this maybe the first time Angel rejected his advancements, that’s why Valentino is angry in a sense “you’ve never disobeyed me before”, and when an abuser loses control that’s when they start getting physically violent; this maybe the tipping point of when the abuse started to escalate. And we don’t know what happened after it just flashes them going to the Porn Studio. 
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Which cuts to him throwing fit... after something happens and it’s so heartbreaking cause he clearly blames himself.  And just sinks down on to the floor and cries into his hands. We don’t know hat happened but we get our answer... near the end of the song we have Angel Dust at the Hazbin Hotel to now. Where he smoking just like Val he smokes a heart but it’s a broken one and it saying he’s addicted to the sorrow. Meaning he has given up on the idea of Valentino really loving him with him singing  “...when the buzz ends by tomorrow” and he’s singing about the love he had for Valentino is gone it was good for a while he had it  but now he has to deal with the price of being “addicted to that drug...or getting involved with Val in this case.”
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Now he deal “with the poison in his vain” talking about the trauma he received from Valentino... That night he raped Angel Dust in the studio I had a screen shot of the shot of him with Valentino but I though it would be too dark. And he’s clearly dealing with aftermath of the pain and trauma of the relationship and dealing with the scars of it. Which is why there’s a flash of seeing Val in the mirror for a second. But “he’s dependent on Valentino” and has nothing but fear for him now; blames himself and his naivety believing that Val would love him. Before Val’s love was Angel’s drug, it made him feel happy and forget his troubles but eventually that high went down. Loving Valentino ended up hurting and damaging him even more.. and has a new pain that’s hurting him. It’s sad because this is what victims do sometimes they blame themselves. Angel did nothing wrong the poor guy he was manipulated and he’s to the point where Val had made him trapped now. 
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Which shows the real reason why he wants to stay in the hotel so he won’t have to be so dependent of Val. Slowly but surely try to get better because in the Hazbin Hotel he still working for Val but it living in the hotel. Though the way he pushes of Charlie he’s clearly trying to hide the pain he suffer especially with how he cares himself. Pretending to be carefree and cheerful which makes it so painful to watch him force himself to be happy. I just love Angel Dust so much he’s just so precious! 
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PLEASE SAVE HIM ALREADY!
Okay hope you all enjoy the post
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makeste · 3 years
Text
BnHA Chapter 311: Hand Gun
Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “thinkin’ about dropping in some woke analogies of the very real and very presently relevant issue of racial profiling idk what do you guys think” and then shrugged and did it without waiting for an answer, and ngl it was a bit sudden, but I’m here for it. All Might was all “DEKU YOU NEED TO EAT” and Deku was all “OKAY” and took his hero bento and went to go stand dramatically on a tower in the rain whilst having some highly anticipated Vestige flashbacks. OFA II was all, “sup, I guess I’m not Kacchan... OR AM I,” and ngl I think he is?? Alternate universes anybody?? Hello??? But anyway, so OFA the First a.k.a. Yoichi was all “remember that time you guys rescued me from my evil brother and Two took my hand and we Had A Moment?”, and Two and Three were all “ahh yeah good times”, and it was very nice and very, very gay. The chapter ended with it being very unclear if Two and Three have actually lent their power to Deku yet or not lmao. Y’all need to get your shit together dudes.
Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “what if I gave a random bad guy a fucking tommy gun that shoots nails” and jesus christ calm down son. The Hawksquad, a.k.a. SQUAWK as per @hotchocolatier​, are all “time to drive aimlessly around town acting like Deku has a restraining order on us because that’s literally the best plan to combat the League we could come up with,” and I have no further comment. Hawks is all “idk about you guys but I want to know more about AFO and Tomura’s whole deal” and I can’t remember the last time I identified so strongly with one of these characters. All Might is all, “[EXPLODES???]”, and the chapter ends with that mysterious hot girl from the Tartarus breakout being all “HELLO I CAN TURN INTO A GUN AND I LITERALLY DON’T GIVE A FUCK” and (1) WOW, and (2) IT’S TRUE, SHE CAN, AND SHE REALLY DOESN’T. GODDAMN.
(ETA: so this wholly escaped my notice on the first go, and also has nothing to do with the chapter itself, but I only just realized that this chapter was scanlated by a new group, TCB Scans. they actually did a very good job, and I’m curious if they’ve found a new RAW provider, because the quality this week is actually crazy good in comparison to what we’ve been dealing with for the past few months. I’m gonna have to get caught up on what exactly happened here lol.)
so what will it be this week? more Vestige antics? more of Sad Nomad Deku standing on buildings and pretending like he’s some cool aloof antihero, as if he could fool us when we all know his hero backpack is secretly stuffed full with his nerd diaries and the remnants of all the hero bentos that All Might keeps giving him?? or, just putting it out there, just a crazy thought, but you don’t suppose we might actually cut back to U.A.? mmm. side-eyes emoji
maaaaaan I’m starting to get tired of this trend of beginning chapters by dropping in on random power-tripping civilians and/or Shindou lol. just once can we get a chapter that opens with someone I actually give a fuck about
oh at least Endeavor is here
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A WHAT SUPPORT ITEM!??! HOLY SHIT DDLKJSLFKJL
lol somehow that’s more terrifying than bullets for me?? like I’m fully aware that bullets will fuck you up way worse and that in real life nail guns probably don’t work like this AT ALL and only have a range of like... hold up let me just google... up to 100 to 150 m/s and distances of up to 500m wait WHAT
okay wait. hold up. like I was expecting google to tell me nail guns only shoot a few feet at most, and instead the first search result is some CDC blog article that’s “dispelling” the “””myth””” -- please note my repeated sarcastic quotation marks -- that nail guns can fire 1400 feet per second, by explaining that actually they can fire anywhere from 315 ft/sec to 1,295 ft/sec, and that “it is in the pneumatic nail gun user’s best interest to handle these tools as if they were a firearm despite having a lower velocity” dlkjdslkjflkl
SO THAT SCENE IN IRON MAN 3 WHERE TONY RAIDS A HOME DEPOT AND BUYS A BUNCH OF RANDOM TOOLS AND SHIT AND GOES ON TO STAGE A ONE-MAN INVASION OF AN INTERNATIONAL TERRORIST’S FLORIDA MANSION HQ IS ACTUALLY TRUE. YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT THE FILM “HOME ALONE” IS ACTUALLY A DOCUMENTARY. “the Discovery Channel television program “Mythbusters” compared the penetration capacity of an airborne projectile shot from a pneumatic framing nail gun to that of a 9mm hand gun” HELLO YES AND A MERRY “WHAT THE FUCK” TO YOU AS WELL
anyway, so. there’s apparently a reason why the Number One hero, who can burn people with the intensity of a sun going supernova, is hiding here behind this concrete support column making frowny faces. nope. nuh uh. he ain’t about that. I don’t blame you buddy
so now he’s barrel rolling out of his hiding place and setting this dude THE FUCK ON FIRE because HELL NO. BAD ENOUGH I HAD TO WATCH THAT FUCKING MUSHROOM EPISODE LAST WEEK! YOU TAKE THAT SHIT SOMEWHERE ELSE
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LOL look at his face
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I know the context is actually him being all “I know I’m responsible for basically everything that happened and so that’s why I’m so grim and serious about this mission to set things right piece by piece,” but in my mind this pissed-off face is 100% all because this dude tried to shoot his eye out with a nail gun. look at that. you made him go full flame face again. beard and all. protecting his face so that it can hopefully melt any stray nails that get too close. nope nope nope
good lord. so what’s up next. let me guess the guy fighting Best Jeanist has like an atomic chainsaw or some shit
lol nope we’re just cutting back to Hawks and Jeanist chilling in the Jesla after they’ve wrapped things up
Jeanist has got some serious Groot energy you guys jesus christ he’s like 12 feet tall
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oh snap someone threw a pipe at him now
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today is just the chapter of Endeavor being assaulted by random DIY tools I guess
I mean, I get why they’re pissed at him obviously; I would be too lol. but tbh I also don’t really understand the “get out of here we don’t want your help” attitude that all of these people suddenly seem to have?? like it if were me, I would be fucking DEMANDING for him and the other heroes to be working round the clock to fix their stupid mess. I mean who else is gonna do it?? it’s their mess, I sure don’t want to be the one to clean it up instead. anyways but whatever lol
oh shit?
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so they haven’t dropped the whole “OFA secret potentially gets revealed to the world” thing yet after all. that makes sense I suppose, it did seem like that whole thing wound up playing out a bit too easily
anyway so yeah
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the locals are definitely none too happy. well at least Dabi’s got something to be cheerful about I guess
so now we’re cutting to the interior of the Jesla and they’re chitchatting about the current investigation
oh wow this actually makes a bit of sense now. so there was a reason they were keeping their distance from Deku
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please note that even in this abstract Endeavor’s-Mental-Image-Of-Him panel, Deku’s eyes still don’t have the light in them anymore :( my poor son
also ftr I still think using Deku as bait in this particular sense is the shittiest idea ever ngl. like sure, let’s let the sixteen-year-old run around battling miscellaneous escaped prison convicts while we stay several kilometers away ON PURPOSE despite the fact that you’re using him as bait to draw out the Big Bad, who just a reminder can destroy anything with a mere touch and who you were all basically helpless against. what exactly are you all planning to do if Tomura or one of the other League VIPs actually shows up to retrieve him?? are you even keeping tabs on him at all in real time?? jesus
(ETA: well that escalated quickly lol.)
Horikoshi is all of a sudden dropping whole pages of exposition here and I can’t be bothered to summarize this lol so just,
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a big fat YES to what Jeanist said, though. that’s why imo they would have been better off laying a trap at U.A. rather than just wandering around out in the open. I assume they’re trying to cut their potential losses because U.A. is full of students (and civilians), but those students also happen to be more capable than pretty much anyone else in the manga at this point. and tbh they’re already in life-threatening danger regardless of how things play out from here on, so they might as well at least try to use the few advantages they have right now. U.A. is almost certainly going to come under siege at some point anyway, so they might as well prepare for it
lol I don’t think I’m explaining this very well because I don’t have the patience right now to break it down point by point like it really ought to be, so for now I’ll just say that imo “U.A. siege” stands a good chance of being the eventual endgame even now, and so this whole “Deku runs around being bait” arc is really just killing time until then lol. like and subscribe for more rambling nonsensical takes such as this. maybe next time I’ll even put it all into one single sentence for maximum meandering senior citizen rant value
well it’s nice that they’re finally talking about all of this I guess
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we readers have known all of this for months now but this confirms the heroes are finally caught up. ALSO, Hawks is so fucking smart, as always. kinda wonder if things would have played out differently if All Might had let him in on the secret a bit earlier. probably that’s why Horikoshi made damn sure they didn’t find out until after the War arc lol
OH MY GOD YOOOOOO HAWKS OUT HERE ASKING THE REAL QUESTIONS
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“anyone else wondering why AFO bothered to raise Tomura as his fake heir for fifteen years when he was secretly planning on taking over his body the whole time” YES, [raises hand] lmao Hawks where the hell were you when I was debating this “AFO is the final villain and Tomura is just his pawn” thing on multiple occasions over the past several years lol
lmao seeing them debate the metaphysics of OFA and all of its mystical bullshit is seriously surreal you guys
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JEANIST HAVE YOU CHECKED OUT MY META TAG I HAVE WRITTEN SO MANY ESSAYS. I ACTUALLY WAS PLANNING ON WRITING ANOTHER ESSAY ABOUT THE THING THAT I’M PRETTY SURE HAWKS IS ABOUT TO BRING UP, BUT I NEVER GOT AROUND TO IT WHOOPS, BUT MAYBE I WILL NOW LOL LET’S SEE HOW IT GOES
yes!!
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WHICH AFO FUCKING ENSURED HE WOULD BE BY LITERALLY PLANNING OUT EVERY LAST DETAIL OF HIS FAMILY TRAGEDY, FROM SECRETLY GIVING TENKO THE QUIRK TO MAKING SURE NO CIVILIANS OR HEROES WOULD HELP HIM UNTIL AFO FINALLY STEPPED IN. I’M 1000% CONVINCED THIS IS THE CASE YOU GUYS. NOT JUST BECAUSE I’M NOT A FAN OF “THE WORLD IS A FUNDAMENTALLY SHITTY PLACE, ACTUALLY” TAKES BECAUSE MISTER ROGERS TOLD ME TO ALWAYS LOOK FOR THE HELPERS, BUT ALSO BECAUSE IT LITERALLY JUST DOESN’T MAKE A LICK OF SENSE OTHERWISE. THEIR ENTIRE HOUSE CAVED IN FFS, YOU’RE TELLING ME NONE OF THE NEIGHBORS FUCKING OVERHEARD THAT SHIT AND WENT “UMMMMMMMMM” AND WENT TO SEE WHAT WAS GOING ON?? “DIDN’T THERE USED TO BE A HOUSE HERE, AND LIKE A WHOLE FAMILY, AND SHIT?”
LIKE I’M SORRY, BUT IT’S ONE THING TO SAY IT’S REALISTIC THAT NOT A SINGLE PERSON WOULD ATTEMPT TO HELP THE WANDERING TRAUMATIZED CHILD AFTERWARDS (WHICH I DISAGREE WITH AS WELL BUT AT LEAST THAT’S MORE SUBJECTIVE), AND IT’S A WHOLE OTHER THING TO ARGUE THAT IT’S REALISTIC THAT NO ONE WOULD BE FUCKING NOSY. LIKE THAT’S A WHOLE DIFFERENT LEVEL OF “THAT’S NOT HOW ANY OF THIS WORKS” ENTIRELY LOL. anyway tl;dr AFO is a piece of shit and Tomura’s entire worldview is based on a magnificently intricate and savagely cruel lie more at 11
anyway so after all that ranting it looks like that wasn’t even what Hawks was talking about after all lol. I just went off for absolutely no reason lol oh well. instead it seems that Hawks is suggesting that Tomura’s carefully cultivated hatred might not yet have actually reached “can defeat OFA” levels even after all of that trauma. interesting!
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don’t mind me, I’m just sitting here while my brain furiously scrambles to put together all the parallels between Hawks and Tomura that it never noticed before until exactly this second. like I’m not even sure that was the intent here at all (I need to check out another translation or two lol), but regardless my mind decided that now would be the perfect time to make the connection between these two twenty-somethings who both had horrific childhoods and spent years being molded by their respective manipulative guardians, and developed eerily similar “laugh at everything because what else can you do” coping mechanisms to deal with it all hmmmmm
anyway so they were talking more about their strategy, but now all of a sudden Jeanist’s phone is beeping??
AND NOW WE’RE CUTTING AWAY TO ALL MIGHT AND HIS MIGHTMOBILE DAMMIT so that means the call to Jeanist was actually something important then!! WAS IT BAKUGOU OMG. DOES YOUR INTERN WANT A WORD FFFKLFSJK please it’s been so long I just need a little crumb or two to tide me over lmao have mercy
anyway so All Might’s following the GPS tracking device he’s apparently got planted on Deku (which in my conspiracy headcanons he’s actually had for a long time now, like since before DvK2 lol because HOW ELSE WOULD HAVE HAVE KNOWN THAT THEY WERE FIGHTING EACH OTHER IN GROUND BETA, PEOPLE) and thinking angsty thoughts about Deku’s sucky life
AND NOW ALL MIGHT’S PHONE IS RINGING TOO?? BAKUGOU HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE YOU CALLING. “WHERE ARE YOU HIDING THE NERD GODDAMMIT”
OMG
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lol is he under attack or is he just finally giving All Might the slip like we all know he SECRETLY PLANNED TO ALL ALONG oh my poor dumb angstmuffin
OMG AHHHHHHH WHAT
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DID ALL MIGHT JUST FUCKING DIE LMAO NO OF COURSE NOT, BUT WHAT
WHAT IS HAPPENING OMG
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THE FUCK IS THAT. AT LEAST IT’S NOT A NAIL
OH IT’S A SPEAKER!! OMG DID THEY TAKE ALL MIGHT HOSTAGE
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“THEY’RE HERE” WELP, TIME TO SEE JUST HOW SHITTY THIS SHITTY PLAN REALLY IS LOL
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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SHE!!!!
omg. AND OVERHAUL JUST CHILLING THERE IN THE BACKGROUND ALL “WHAT DO YOU EVEN WANT ME TO DO I’VE GOT NO FUCKING ARMS” YEAH GOOD RIDDANCE LOL
DOES THIS GIRL HAVE ONE GIANT LEG OR WHAT, LIKE WHAT’S THE DEAL HERE
-- HOLD UP WAIT, THE GUN IS HER ARM, HOLY SHIT SHE CAN TURN INTO A GUN -- OKAY HOLD UP BECAUSE I NEED TO SAY THAT IN BIGGER TEXT BECAUSE !!!!
YOU GUYS, THE COOL TARTARUS GIRL IS BACK AND HER QUIRK IS “CAN TURN INTO A FUCKING GUN.” THIS IS NOT A DRILL!! MY BEST GIRL MT. GUN IS FINALLY BACK ON THE SCENE WITH HER QUIRK “CAN DO ANYTHING A GUN CAN DO.” “I HEARD Y’ALL WENT AND NAMED ONE OF YOUR HEROES ‘GUNHEAD’ EVEN THOUGH HIS HEAD ISN’T EVEN A GUN, LIKE WTF IS UP WITH THAT LET ME SHOW YOU HOW IT’S DONE” DANG OKAY
lmao only fifteen pages this week, and STILL NO KACCHAN (THEN WHO WAS PHONE!!!), but man I don’t even care because finally we’ve got a cliffhanger that’s actually deserving of being a cliffhanger! hot dog. okay then
300 notes · View notes
hanazou · 4 years
Text
matching onesies with him.
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Books : Dazai | Chuuya | Oda
Shelf : Mixed
Genre : Fluff, domestic
Note : I did this of my own accord because I am, in fact, a softie
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Dazai Osamu
This clingy crackhead.
Dazai will be the first to come up with the idea. It's actually a random one and he asked it so spontaneously, he doesn't expect you to actually say yes.
"Sure, why not?" You agreed.
He's both surprised and elated, and he didn't hide this reaction at all.
"Oh, darling!" He wrapped a hug around your neck. "You always revive my heart with your love!"
You both will be enthusiastic about picking the onesies and agree to surf the net instead of looking from shop to shop since Dazai is under the supervision of a certain angry Kunikida
It almost feels like babysitting. Not that you hate it right? Should you get an identical pair with different sizes? Or complementary ones?
Dazai will call the customer service to ask if they have black crow onesies since crows represent death in some cultures. The response is obviously no and it's obvious that the customer service was confused.
"That's a shame," Dazai whined disappointedly, shoulders dropping. "Wouldn't it be both cute and poetic if we had a double suicide while wearing matching crow onesie? Two achievements in one!"
At that point you wouldn't even be surprised anymore. You will just take the phone away from him to apologise and thank the customer service. You have to convince Dazai that you won't find a onesie of that kind
"Wait, don't tell me," You stared at him. "The reason you want to get onesies is just to wear a matching crow pair?"
"Is it?" He grinned mischievously. "Maybe you're right, maybe you're wrong, but I just want to match with you."
Other ADA members will wonder what you and Dazai were doing, Kunikida the most. He isn't exactly curious, more like suspicious. What's that good-for-nothing Dazai up to now?
Eventually you find a pair of identical ones. Kind of rare designs too! Guess what?
Crabs! In red! The little eyes on the hood!
It will take less than a week for the onesies to arrive in a small box. When it does Dazai will pull out a cutter so energetically Atsushi will think he's going to pull a suicide attempt with it
"AAH! Dazai-san! No!"
Nothing will happen aside from Dazai stabbing the box (while making sure he doesn't cut the onesies inside. he's good with blades, ex Port Mafia and all)
The crab pincers for your hands are soft like mittens and so smooth???? Imagine sweaterpaws but with crab pincer mittens (!!)
It will take everything in you to stop Dazai from wearing it that instant since a client Fukuzawa talked about will be coming. You will need Atsushi's help to take it off him but let's not talk about it
Both of Dazai's legs are already in the onesie too..
It seems like Kyouka wants one. Yosano and Naomi will tell Atsushi to buy the girl one and match with her
When Dazai and you go home together, he will be so excited to wear the onesies immediately. Dazai will be light on his feet.
And when you finally put yours on? Pictures. Dazai will take lots of pictures of you. You're a piece of art and he wants pictures so he can recall the image anytime
"Oh, dearest~ How is it possible for you to be so cute?" He began his dramatic poses, a hand over his head while spinning like a ballet dancer.
You both will take a lot of couple pictures.
"Love, you are so adorable I want to eat you!"
"Is it me who's cute or the crab?" You teased back.
When Dazai makes a troubled expression to answer your question, you will have to pinch him 💢
If you can cook crab soup, wouldn't it be funny to make and eat one with Dazai while wearing crab onesies? He will be so clingy when you do it, like an old school married couple; when you cook, he'll be bugging you while hugging from behind. It feels cozy, don't blame him
You have to be keen with your eyes so you won't miss Dazai secretly pouring ajinomoto to the soup. Get him a healthier diet, I'm begging you.
"Look, the crab is red like us." He pointed at the soup. "And like your face when I do this." He took advantage of you turning your head to peck your cheek.
He will also pinch your nose with his pincer mitten. "Boop!" It's a challenge. Boop his nose back.
You think he's already as clingy as he can be, huh? Wrong. You are absolutely wrong. If he previously sticks around you like a magnet, this time he's glued to you.
Even in the shared living space, he won't let you go. Is it the softness of the onesie under his touch, the warmth, or your cuteness? Well, it's all of them. What then?
Snuggles.
You both cuddle together in the futon until falling asleep together. You feel twice as warm.
He's the big spoon, let him feel the smoothness of the onesie while feeling your heat. And for once, the double suicide joke stopped for the rest of day. That's how much this impacts him, and you're proud of him.
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Nakahara Chuuya
Matching with Chuuhuahua in a onesie? You lucky fella.
You have to be the one initiating it with Chuuya. Baby boy will be like "Eeh?" at first. He's not against it at all but more like, confused. The request is out of the blue
"Come on, why not?" You tilt your head. "It will feel so soft to cuddle with?"
That's it, that's the spell for him to agree
Mans is a Port Mafia executive, you can't go out from shop to shop in a mall to get your onesie with his schedule, so you have to settle with online shopping with this guy too
Only when he has time to spare from beating up people
You will sit together on a couch at the headquarters once Chuuya and you don't have missions. It's a good chance to relax and unwind together too
Chuuya knows best where to find clothes, including onesies. There are so many options! Dinosaurs, frogs, bears, Sanrio characters, Doraemon, Pikachu, Line characters, pandas, unicorns, penguins!! (I should stop fantasizing Chuuya in each of them)
Chuuya will act cool and chill about it at first, but he actually got invested in choosing and thankfully he isn't a crackhead unlike a certain someone
He has a good fashion sense I don't accept criticism, and this side of him will jump out while both of you scroll the catalogue. He nails both street wear and mafia outfits daily, so you can bet he'd pick the best onesies for you both
"This one doesn't suit you," He moved to the next option. "These are the only colours available? Pass.", "What's with the unnecessarily long tail?", "Oh maybe this? Wait, I don't like the stripes."
Of course, he will listen to your opinion too but since you feel he's better at this, you just either nod or shake your head with him
You have to be careful with your words when picking the size (this is much more valid if you're taller) or he'll go "I'm not that short!"
Kouyou and Mori (+ Elise) will catch you both on the couch together while browsing, comfy and all, and Kouyou asked what you two were doing. Chuuya's face will be as red as wine.
When you want to explain, his gloved hand will cover your mouth and he frantically shakes his head, screaming "Don't!" silently.
But alas, while you want to tell him there's nothing to be embarrassed of, Kouyou will take the phone from your hand with a curious grin and a "What's this~?"
Chuuya will just accept fate at that point, growling to himself and all
Kouyou and Mori won't expect to see a catalogue of onesies, apparently. The "Huh," on their faces are hilarious, and Mori will be instantly inspired to get a full set for his Elise-chan, much to her distaste.
While Mori and Elise are going at it, Kouyou will actually share her opinions. Chuuya will crawl out from his burrow of embarrassment and listen to her with you.
"Rather than identical ones, these would be much better. They have variety." Kouyou said. And you both will agree. You both have been eyeing a specific pair anyway
You both will decide to get complementary ones! Chuuya's will be a brown teddy and yours a white bunny! (Try googling Line's Brown and Cony, they're cute you won't regret it) Kouyou will totally agree with the decision.
When the package arrives, both of you will open it together. Chuuya's eyes for clothes are never wrong, the quality is immaculate. So warm and smooth, not a seam out of place.
Imagine the blush on Chuuya's face when you put on the white bunny onesie. The bunny ears on the hood! The fluffiness! His flustered face!
He will be slightly hesitant to put his own on, but when he does, you swear you can die from the cuteness. Want to see more cuteness? Tease him about it, and maybe he'll tickle you down until you're too breathless to tease him.
Chuuya doesn't want to say it explicitly but it does feel really comfortable, it's suitable for winters too.
As usual, Chuuya will be the big spoon. You will melt into his warmth and the smoothness of his onesie, and you can tell he's enjoying it too, from the way he'll drag his hand all over you to feel the smooth fabric
"It's a good thing we listened to ane-san's suggestion, hm?" You asked. "I didn't exactly like the matching penguin pairs."
"Yeah, this isn't bad at all." Chuuya admitted, snuggling his chin into the crook of your neck. "You're so warm."
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Oda Sakunosuke
First off I'm Odasaku's lover before I'm anything else.
When the weather gets cold, it's your idea to get onesies for the kids. They could use some cute onesies to sleep in.
Unlike Dazai and Chuuya, Odasaku will have time to spare to go shopping with you. Being the handyman of Port Mafia has its good sides, after all.
The atmosphere is identical to a date! You both meet up at evening after work, have a simple dinner first, then start the shopping. Shopping for the kids' onesies with him makes you feel like a parent doesn't it?
Odasaku and you will make sure not to pick flimsy, thin, or rough ones. Only the best for the kids. Both of you put your keen eyes to use, examining every considered piece
Odasaku and you will definitely discuss whether to get five identical or different ones. After considering that the kids have different personalities, choosing different pieces will sound more ideal. You both will grant them the liberty of picking themselves.
"We just have to make sure they don't fight over it." Odasaku said.
Lion, dinosaur, piglet, panda, and penguin. That's what you both will choose!
Odasaku is a man who doesn't wear his emotions on his sleeves, so you relied on his eyes when it comes to him. You will see love and sincerity. He picks each piece with careful consideration.
The store clerk will throw an unexpected (yet clichéd shoujo) question at you both. "You picked such good choices. We have sets for adults too, why not match with your children?"
Odasaku and you will widen your eyes. First of all, parents? And match? Both of you stare at each other in confusion. Should you get two get a pair for yourselves?
"Why not?" Odasaku eventually said.
Odasaku's will be a brown dog and yours a white cat (remember that one official art of Odasaku with puppy ears? <3)
Odasaku and you will immediately visit the kids and give them their onesies. Their excitement in picking one for their own made you smile, and you can see the joy in Odasaku's eyes when the kids thanked him and you. He doesn't smile, but you don't need him to just to know he's glad his children love your pick. The way he pats their heads already speaks volumes of love.
Thankfully no kid wrestled to get what they want. You were especially concerned Kousuke will compete with someone
Odasaku will bring a secondhand polaroid he once bought at Yokohama's flea market to take pictures of the kids. You will herd the children to gather for the picture while Odasaku looked for the right angle in the other side of the room.
"Why don't you stay there for the picture too?" Odasaku asked you, half of his face behind the camera.
You kneel behind the kids and put your hands on Sakura and Yuu's shoulders, the ones who stood on the far left and right. That much is enough to warm Odasaku's heart, but when you too, smile for the camera, he freezes for a while to take the sight with his eyes
The picture comes out nicely. You will end up convincing Odasaku to take more but with him in it, together, all seven of you. You would need the curry diner owner's help to take the picture
"Sakunosuke, smile, will you?" You held his shoulder while you both kneeled behind the kids for the picture. He would be a little stunned
He smiles, but it was faint. Nevertheless, you recognise the content in his eyes in the photo, and it's enough.
When it's just the two of you in the living quarters, you will have to remind Odasaku that he too, bought a onesie. He will gladly put it on him since you look so eager, he's curious how it feels too
Your heart stops when he put on the hood with the puppy ears. You will have to fight back the urge to attack him with cuddles right there and then when his confused and innocent face matches the onesie so much!
"You're adorable," You smiled half teasingly, taking in the look of confused Odasaku who looked down at his onesie. The weight of the material felt right, it's like a cozy blanket.
"Try to put yours on," He says. When you did, his heart also missed a beat. The kitten ears on your head! The pure snowy white on you!
Odasaku is a bear hugger and when he hugs you, his embrace will feel tighter than usual. It's no surprise, he likes you and cats, and the way you interacted with the kids that day played tricks on his heart. You hug him back and ruffle his head while he mumbles his thank-you's at you
That night's sleep will be filled with nothing but cuddles of love and adoration. Yes, Odasaku is the big spoon, but you will also hold his arms tighter around you as you both drift into the night, chatting about life.
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testudoaubrei-blog · 3 years
Text
Content note for discussions of eternal damnation, and all sorts of other shit that will trigger a lot of folks with religious trauma.
Before I get started I might as well explain where I’m coming from - unlike a lot of She-Ra fans, and a lot of queer people, I don’t have much religious trauma, or any, maybe (okay there were a number of years I was convinced I was going to hell, but that happens to everyone, right?). I was raised a liberal Christian by liberal Christian parents in the Episcopal Church, where most of my memories are overwhelmingly positive. Fuck, growing up in the 90’s, Chuch was probably the only place outside my home I didn’t have homophobia spewed at me. Because it was the 90’s and it was a fucking hellscape of bigotry where 5 year olds knew enough to taunt each other with homophobic slurs and the adults didn’t know enough to realize how fucked up that was. Anyway. This is my experience, but it is an atypical one, and I know it. Quite frankly I know that my experience of Christianity has very little at all to do with what most people experienced, or what people generally mean when they talk about Christianity as a cultural force in America today. So if you were raised Christian and you don’t recognize your theology here, congrats, neither do I, but these ideas and cultural forces are huge and powerful and dominant. And it’s this dominant Christian narrative that I’m referring to in this post. As well as, you know, a children’s cartoon about lesbian rainbow princesses. So here it goes. This is going to get batshit.
"All events whatsoever are governed by the secret counsel of God." - John Calvin
“We’re all just a bunch of wooly guys” - Noelle Stevenson
This is a post triggered by a single scene, and a single line. It’s one of the most fucked-up scenes in She-Ra, toward the end of Save the Cat. Catra, turned into a puppet by Prime, struggles with her chip, desperately trying to gain control of herself, so lost and scared and vulnerable that she flings aside her own death wish and her pride and tearfully begs Adora to rescue her. Adora reaches out , about to grab her, and then Prime takes control back, pronounces ��disappointing’ and activates the kill switch that pitches Catra off the platform and to her death (and seriously, she dies here, guys - also Adora breaks both her legs in the fall). But before he does, he dismisses Catra with one of his most chilling lines. “Some creatures are meant only for destruction.”
And that’s when everyone watching probably had their heart broken a little bit, but some of the viewers raised in or around Christianity watching the same scene probably whispered ‘holy shit’ to themselves. Because Prime’s line - which works as a chilling and callous dismissal of Catra - is also an allusion to a passage from the Bible. In fact, it’s from one of the most fucked up passages in a book with more than its share of fucked up passages. It’s from Romans 9:22, and I’m going to quote several previous verses to give the context of the passage (if not the entire Epistle, which is more about who needs to abide by Jewish dietary restrictions but was used to construct a systematic theology in the centuries afterwards because people decided it was Eternal Truth).
19 Thou wilt say then unto me, Why doth he yet find fault? For who hath resisted his will?
20 Nay but, O man, who art thou that repliest against God? Shall the thing formed say to him that formed it, Why hast thou made me thus?
21 Hath not the potter power over the clay, of the same lump to make one vessel unto honour, and another unto dishonour?
22 What if God, willing to shew his wrath, and to make his power known, endured with much longsuffering the vessels of wrath fitted to destruction:
The context of the allusion supports the context in the show. Prime is dismissing Catra - serial betrayer, liar, failed conqueror, former bloody-handed warlord - as worthless, as having always been worthless and fit only to be destroyed. He is speaking from a divine and authoritative perspective (because he really does think he’s God, more of this in my TL/DR Horde Prime thing). Prime is echoing not only his own haughty dismissal of Catra, and Shadow Weaver’s view of her, but also perhaps the viewer’s harshest assessment of her, and her own worst fears about herself. Catra was bad from the start, doomed to destroy and to be destroyed. A malformed pot, cracked in firing, destined to be shattered against a wall and have her shards classified by some future archaeologist 2,000 years later. And all that’s bad enough.
But the full historical and theological context of this passage shows the real depth of Noelle Stevenson’s passion and thought and care when writing this show. Noelle was raised in Evangelical or Fundamentalist Christianity. To my knowledge, he has never specified what sect or denomination, but in interviews and her memoir Noelle has shown a particular concern for questions that this passage raises, and a particular loathing for the strains of Protestant theology that take this passage and run with it - that is to say, Calvinism. So while I’m not sure if Noelle was raised as a conservative, Calvinist Presbyterian, his preoccupation with these questions mean that it’s time to talk about Calvinism.
It would be unfair, perhaps, to say that Calvinism is a systematic theology built entirely upon the Epistles of Romans and Galatians, but only -just- (and here my Catholic readers in particular will chuckle to themselves and lovingly stroke their favorite passage of the Epistle of James). The core of Calvinist Doctrine is often expressed by the very Dutch acronym TULIP:
Total Depravity - people are wholly evil, and incapable of good action or even willing good thoughts or deeds
Unconditional Election - God chooses some people to save because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, not because they did anything to deserve, trigger or accept it
Limited Atonement - Jesus died only to save the people God chose to save, not the rest of us bastards
Irresistible Grace - God chooses some people to be saved - if you didn’t want to be saved, too bad, God said so.
Perseverance of the Saints - People often forget this one and assume it’s ‘predestination’ but it’s actually this - basically, once saved by God, always saved, and if it looks like someone falls out of grace, they were never saved to begin with. Well that’s all sealed up tight I guess.
Reading through these, predestination isn’t a single doctrine in Calvinism but the entire theological underpinnings of it together with humanity’s utter powerlessness before sin. Basically God has all agency, humanity has none. Calvinism (and a lot of early modern Protestantism) is obsessed with questions of how God saves people (grace alone, AKA Sola Fides) and who God saves (the people god elects and only the people God elects, and fuck everyone else).
It’s apparent that Noelle was really taken by these questions, and repelled by the answers he heard. He’s alluded to having a tattoo refuting the Gospel passage about Sheep and Goats being sorted at the end times, affirming instead that ‘we’re all just a bunch of wooly guys’ (you can see this goat tattoo in some of his self-portraits in comics, etc). He’s also mentioned that rejecting and subverting destiny is a huge part of everything he writes as a particular rejection of the idea that some individual people are 'chosen' by God or that God has a plan for any of us. You can see that -so clearly- in Adora’s arc, where Adora embraces and then rejects destiny time and again and finally learns to live life for herself.
But for Catra, we’re much more concerned about the most negative aspect of this - the idea that some people are vessels meant for destruction. And that’s something else that Noelle is preoccupied with. In her memoir in the section about leaving the church and becoming a humanistic atheist, there is a drawing of a pot and the question ‘Am I a vessel prepared for destruction?’ Obviously this was on Noelle’s mind (And this is before he came out to himself as queer!).
To look at how this question plays out in Catra’s entire arc, let’s first talk about how ideas of damnation and salvation actually play out in society. And for that I’m going to plug one of my favorite books, Gin Lun’s Damned Nation: Hell in America from the Revolution to Reconstruction (if you can tell by now, I am a fucking blast at parties). Lun tells the long and very interesting story about, how ideas of hell and who went there changed during the Early American Republic. One of the interesting developments that she talks about is how while at first people who were repelled by Calvinism started moving toward a doctrine of universal salvation (no on goes to hell, at least not forever*), eventually they decided that hell was fine as long as only the right kind of people went there. Mostly The Other - non-Christian foreigners, Catholics, Atheists, people who were sinners in ways that were not just bad but weird and violated Victorian ideas of respectability. Really, Hell became a way of othering people, and arguably that’s how it survives today, especially as a way to other queer people (but expanding this is slated for my Montero rant). Now while a lot of people were consciously rejecting Calvinist predestination, they were still drawing the distinction between the Elect (good, saved, worthwhile) and the everyone else (bad, damned, worthless). I would argue that secularized ideas of this survive to this day even among non-Christian spaces in our society - we like to draw lines between those who Elect, and those who aren’t.
And that’s what brings us back to Catra. Because Catra’s entire arc is a refutation of the idea that some people are worthless and irredeemable, either by nature, nurture or their own actions. Catra’s actions strain the conventions of who is sympathetic in a Kid’s cartoon - I’ve half joked that she’s Walter White as a cat girl, and it’s only half a joke. She’s cruel, self-deluded, she spends 4 seasons refusing to take responsibility for anything she does and until Season 5 she just about always chooses the thing that does the most damage to herself and others. As I mentioned in my Catra rant, the show goes out of its way to demonstrate that Catra is morally culpable in every step of her descent into evil (except maybe her break with reality just before she pulls the lever). The way that Catra personally betrays everyone around her, the way she strips herself of all of her better qualities and most of what makes her human, hell even her costume changes would signal in any other show that she’s irredeemable.
It’s tempting to see this as Noelle’s version of being edgy - pushing the boundaries of what a sympathetic character is, throwing out antiheroics in favor of just making the villain a protagonist. Noelle isn’t quite Alex ‘I am in the business of traumatizing children’ Hirsch, who seems to have viewed his job as pushing the bounds of what you could show on the Disney Channel (I saw Gravity Falls as an adult and a bunch of that shit lives rent free in my nightmares forever), but Noelle has his own dark side, mostly thematically. The show’s willingness to deal with abuse, and messed up religious themes, and volatile, passionate, not particularly healthy relationships feels pretty daring. I’m not joking when I gleefully recommend this show to friends as ‘a couple from a Mountain Goats Song fights for four seasons in a cartoon intended for 9 year olds’. Noelle is in his own way pushing the boundaries of what a kids show can do. If you read Noelle’s other works like Nimona, you see an argument for Noelle being at least a bit edgy. Nimona is also angry, gleefully destructive, violent and spiteful - not unlike Catra. Given that it was a 2010s webcomic and not a kids show, Nimona is a good deal worse than Catra in some ways - Catra doesn’t kill people on screen, while Nimona laughs about it (that was just like, a webcomic thing - one of the fan favorite characters in my personal favorite, Narbonic, was a fucking sociopath, and the heroes were all amoral mad scientists, except for the superintelligent gerbil**). But unlike Nimona, whose fate is left open ended, Catra is redeemed.
And that is weird. We’ve had redemption arcs, but generally not of characters with -so- much vile stuff in their history. Going back to the comparison between her and Azula, many other shows, like Avatar, would have made Catra a semi-sympathetic villain who has a sob-story in their origin but who is beyond redemption, and in so doing would articulate a kind of psychologized Calvinism where some people are too traumatized to ever be fully and truly human. I’d argue this is the problem with Azula as a character - she’s a fun villain, but she doesn’t have moral agency, and the ultimate message of her arc - that she’s a broken person destined only to hurt people - is actually pretty fucked up. And that’s the origin story of so many serial killers and psycopaths that populate so many TV shows and movies. Beyond ‘hurt people hurt people’ they have nothing to teach us except perhaps that trauma makes you a monster and that the only possible response to people doing bad things is to cut them out of your life and out of our society (and that’s why we have prisons, right?)
And so Catra’s redemption and the depths from which she claws herself back goes back to Noelle’s desire to prove that no person is a vessel ‘fitted for destruction.’ Catra goes about as far down the path of evil as we’ve ever seen a protagonist in a kids show go, and she still has the capacity for good. Importantly, she is not subject to total depravity - she is capable of a good act, if only one at first. Catra is the one who begins her own redemption (unlike in Calvinism, where grace is unearned and even unwelcomed) - because she wants something better than what she has, even if its too late, because she realizes that she never wanted any of this anyway, because she wants to do one good thing once in her life even if it kills her.
The very extremity of Catra’s descent into villainy serves to underline the point that Noelle is trying to make - that no one can be written off completely, that everyone is capable of change, and that no human being is garbage, no matter how twisted they’ve become. Meanwhile her ability to set her own redemption in motion is a powerful statement of human agency, and healing, and a refutation of Calvinism’s idea that we are powerless before sin or pop cultural tropes about us being powerful before the traumas of our upbringing. Catra’s arc, then, is a kind of anti-Calvinist theological statement - about the nature of people and the nature of goodness.
Now, there is a darker side to this that Noelle has only hinted at, but which is suggested by other characters on the show. Because while Catra’s redemption shows that people are capable of change, even when they’ve done horrible things, been fucked up and fucked themselves up, it also illustrates the things people do to themselves that make change hard. As I mentioned in my Catra rant, two of the most sinister parts of her descent into villainy are her self-dehumanization (crushing her own compassion and desire to do good) and her rewriting of her own history in her speech and memory to make her own actions seem justified (which we see with her insistence that Adora left her, eliding Adora’s offers to have Catra join her, or her even more clearly false insistence that Entrapta had betrayed them). In Catra, these processes keep her going down the path of evil, and allow her to nearly destroy herself and everyone else. But we can see the same processes at work in two much darker figures - Shadow Weaver and Horde Prime. These are both rants for another day, but the completeness of Shadow Weaver’s narcissistic self-justification and cultivated callousness and the even more complete narcissism of Prime’s god complex cut both characters off from everyone around them. Perhaps, in a theoretical sense, they are still redeemable, but for narrative purposes they might as well be damned.
This willingness to show a case where someone -isn’t- redeemed actually serves to make Catra’s redemption more believable, especially since Noelle and the writers draw the distinction between how Catra and SW/Prime can relate to reality and other people, not how broken they are by their trauma (unlike Zuko and Azula, who are differentiated by How Fucked Uolp They Are). Redemption is there, it’s an option, we can always do what is right, but someone people will choose not to, in part because doing the right thing involves opening ourselves to the world and others, and thus being vulnerable. Noelle mentions this offhandedly in an interview after Season 1 with the She-Ra Progressive of Power podcast - “I sometimes think that shades of grey, sympathetic villains are part of the escapist fantasy of shows like this.” Because in the real world, some people are just bastards, a point that was particularly clear in 2017. Prime and Shadow Weaver admit this reality, while Catra makes a philosophical point that even the bastards can change their ways (at least in theory).
*An idea first proposed in the second century by Origen, who’s a trip and a fucking half by himself, and an idea that becomes the Catholic doctrine of purgatory, which protestants vehemently denied!
**Speaking of favorite Noelle tropes
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sketching-shark · 3 years
Note
LMK fandom: Oh, what do we do about this guy who has nothing but hurt Xiaotian, tried to replace Sun Wukong and his crew, hurt Tripitaka and ordered servants to cannibalize a monkey? Oh I know! We’ll turn him into our little meow meow~ he’s so innocent and Sun Wukong is obviously the villain!
What doesn’t help is this idea is perpetuated by multiple fan fic writers and artists for some reason. Especially some aus they make that turn SWK into a bastard for the sake of the story rather than considering cultural context and thinking they should be respectful.
And almost everyone lets them get away with it just because the art or fanfic is good and they get so popular that no one can point what is actually wrong without feeling like they’re going to get attacked.
I'm starting to feel like my blog is the one anons go to specifically to vent their frustrations about the Six Eared Macaque in his lego monkey show form & the associated fandom lmao. But I guess this makes sense, as I’ve had fun quasi-dragging him before & will in fact use this anon submission as an opportunity to have my own, to put it academically, bitch fest about not just this fandom's favorite protagonist-traumatizing meow meow, but about the way villains are often treated in not just fanon, but increasingly in canon works as well. But same policy as with the last anon; I'll post my opinions below the cut, and as fandoms love to say, don’t like don't read if you don't want to see me dunking on the six eared simian & common fandom tendencies towards villains.
Oh man I would say where would you even begin with this but anon you’ve pretty much started yourself with my main gripe with a lot of ways that the Six-Eared Macaque is portrayed in fandom; there seems to be this unspoken agreement that his acts of violence towards Sun Wukong, Qi Xioatian, and Qi Xioatian’s loved ones are either to be framed as somewhat or totally justified, to be immediately forgiven/excused, or to simply & completely be ignored. Like friends maybe this is just me not seeing the proper posts but while the fandom is inundated with art and fanfics of Macaque as a generally decent individual & a true member of team good guy, I have yet to see one person address the fact that this monkey literally kidnapped & mind-controlled Xiaotian’s best friend and father figures & forced them to brutalize Xiaotian while ol’ Six Ear looked on and laughed (X_X). Like this kind of fandom villain treatment is definitely not something that’s solely at work for Monkie Kid, but it is kind of nutty how fandoms will swing between yelling that people should be allowed to like villains without even mild critique, and then will just flat-out not address the villainous behavior, and will even bend over backwards to frame even characters who committed genocide as just poor innocent widdle victims who need a hug. At its worst, I’ve even seen tons of people in a fandom get really angry at other people who don’t like a villain, and will even start accusing those people of hating real-life mentally disabled or abused individuals all because they don’t like the fandom’s favorite literal war criminal. The Monkie Kid fandom is FAR more chill & better than a lot of other fandoms I’ve come across in that regard, but that is an exceedingly low bar, & the tendency to woobify certain kinds of villains-- as with Macaque and the extreme emphasis on his bad boy/sad boy thing--is very much at work.  
 I’ve also talked before about a kind of monoculturalization of certain character interpretations and story beats in fandoms, and one of the more popular ones that seems to be applied to Macaque a lot is the “hero actually bad, villain actually good” cliche, as observable from the general fandom assumption that Mr. Six-Ears he wasn’t even slightly lying or remembering things through a rose-tinted or skewed lens when he gave his version of his and Sun Wukong’s past. Like at this point it seems the possibility that people WILL NOT even consider is that Sun Wukong never did & still doesn't care that much about the Six Eared Macaque (in JTTW they weren’t sworn brothers & in Monkie Kid the only thing the monkey king really said to Macaque before attacking him was a pretty contemptuous "Aren't you ever going to get sick of living under my shadow?," & responds to his "beloved friend" getting blown up with "You did good, bud" to Qi Xiaotian, who did the exploding), or that their original fight may in fact have mostly been instigated by Macaque. After all, to repeat what this anon summarized & what I've said before about their original JTTW context (& in an example of the things that do feel like it's often lost in translation) is that the Six Ear Macaque was a villain not just because he beat up the Tang Monk, but because he wanted to take over Sun Wukong's entire life and identity so he could have all that glory, prestige, and power for himself. To quote the macaque himself from the Anthony C. Yu translation, "I struck the T'ang monk and I took the luggage...precisely because I want to go to the West all by myself to ask Buddha for the scriptures. When I deliver them to the Land of the East, it will be my success and no one else's. Those people of the South Jambudvipa Continent will honor me then as their patriarch and my fame will last for all posterity." And in order to do this, the Six Eared Macaque had apparently made Sun Wukong's "little ones," his monkey family, his captives through either trickery or force, and gotten a number of them to take on the appearance of Tang Sanzang and the other pilgrims. It's also made clear that in very direct contrast to Sun Wukong, he doesn't care about these monkeys beyond how they might serve him. In fact, after Sha Wujing kills the monkey posing as him the Six Eared Macaque not only all but immediately replaces him with another, but also "told his little ones to have the dead monkey skinned. Then his meat was taken to be fried and served as food along with coconut and grape wines." So this monkey is not only willing to risk the lives of a lot of other monkeys for his own personal benefit, but is also a literal cannibal. And yes yes, I know a lot of people have argued that Monkie Kid shouldn't be considered a direct sequel to JTTW & that's fair enough (for example, Sun Wukong probably shouldn't be smashing anyone into a meat patty in a children's cartoon lol). And of course, it needs to be noted that there are a buttload of really out there & really cursed pieces of media based on JTTW & that were created in China. Yet the above description is the oft-ignored in the west original facet of the Six Eared Macaque's character. And it is this selfishness, entitlement, and treatment of other individuals as tools for his own self-serving ends  that is, from where I’m standing, still very much present in Monkie Kid. Like besides repeatedly going out of his way to physically and psychologically traumatize Xioatian, with the last episode Macaque seemed to be going right back to his manipulative ways. I’ve seen people frame their last conversation as Macaque softening to Xioatian a little bit, but personally that read a lot more like that common tactic among abusers where even after they’ve hurt you they’ll dangle something you want or need over your head (in Macaque’s case, the promise of desperately needed training and information about a serious looming threat), with the implication that you’ll only get it if you do what they want you to, such as, in this case, Xioatian going back to Macaque as his student even after having been so terribly hurt by this monkey, which would give Macaque power over Xiaotian and probably Sun Wukong as a result. And it is this violence and manipulation that it seems the fandom at large has tacitly decided shouldn’t even be addressed, instead leaning more towards a (and this is an exaggeration) “Six-Eared Macaque my poor meow meow Sun Wukong has always been bad & has always been wrong about literally everything” reading. 
And while it is the case that I am not Chinese and feel that as such it would be best left to someone who actually comes from that background to provide more context into how common interpretations of the Six Eared Macaque from China may clash really badly with the stuff the western fandom creates, it also must be noted that, as much as we all want to have fun in fandom & in spite of all the out-there versions of JTTW from China, we westerners should recognize that there is a very long and very ugly history of western countries stripping other cultures’ important religious and literary works for parts & mashing them into their own thing while implying or even insisting that what they present provides a true understanding of the original piece. And while I trust most individuals in regards to Monkie Kid are able to step back and think “this is a lego cartoon and not a set guide for how I should understand JTTW” (especially given the insistence that JTTW and Monkie Kid should be considered there own separate works) there does nevertheless seem to be something of a tendency to take the conclusions people come to, for example, about Sun Wukong’s characteristic in his lego form & then assume that’s just reflective to Sun Wukong as a totality. I imagine a good portion of this is due to people not reading JTTW & especially to not having easy access to solid information or answers about JTTW’s many different facets (like geez awhile ago I was trying to get a clear answer on what is considered the most accurate translation of the names of Sun Wukong’s six sworn brothers & got like 5 different responses lmao), but that tendency to take a western fandom interpretation & run with it instead of doing any background research or questioning said interpretation is still very much at play. As such, & as made prominent in the way people have been interpreting the dynamic between Sun Wukong and the Six Eared Macaque in the lego monkey show, tbh it does seem kind of shitty for western creators & audience to sometimes go really out of their way to ignore all of this original cultural & narrative context for the sake of Angst (TM) in Macaque's favor, demonizing Sun Wukong, and shipping the monkey king with his evil twin (X_X).
And speaking of which, even beyond the potential inherent creepiness & revulsion that can be inspired by this specific ship given common interpretations of the og classic's original meaning (again, it's my understanding, given both summaries of translated Chinese academic texts I've been kindly provided with, my own reading of the Anthony C. Yu translation of JTTW, & vents from a number of Chinese people I've seen on this site, that the Six-Eared Macaque is commonly interpreted in China as having originated from Sun Wukong himself as a living embodiment of his worst traits, hence why only Buddha can tell the difference between them & why the monkey king is much more slow to violence after he kills the macaque), I'd argue that in the face of all the uwu poor widdle meow meow portrayals lego show Macaque is, especially if you include JTTW's events, still in the role of “Sun Wukong but worse” as he is very much a violent & selfish creep. Like he was basically running around in JTTW wearing a Sun Wukong fursuit, but there he had the sole reason of wanting to replace Sun Wukong wholesale so he could have all the good things in the monkey king's life without actually having to work as hard for them. But if you combine that with Macaque now claiming that he used to be best friend with Sun Wukong in his pre-journey days (something that's made funny from a JTTW context given that that status actually belongs to the Demon Bull King lol), his original violence has now blown into this centuries long and really unhealthy obsession with the monkey king. Like he's apparently gone from wanting to literally be Sun Wukong to being so obsessed with getting revenge on Sun Wukong that he's got basically nothing else going on in his life. Like he's only appeared in two episodes but...does he have any friends? Any family? A career or even a hobby that DOESN'T center the monkey king? Anything at all outside of his "get revenge on and/or kill Sun Wukong/use his successor as my personal punching bag” thing? Like dude! That is extremely creepy and extremely bad for everyone all around! As I’ve said before, this seeming refusal to see beyond the past or to do something that doesn’t involve Sun Wukong in some capacity is a trait that makes Macaque an interesting and somewhat tragic villain--he even seems to be working as Sun Wukong’s reflection in a mirror darkly, with lego show Sun Wukong pretty clearly not being able to heal from his own past which is hinted to be defined by one loss after another, and with Monkie Kid even kind of having these two characters somewhat follow their JTTW characterizations in that in the latter half of the journey Sun Wukong often gets sad & starts crying in the face of what seems insurmountable odds (& Monkie Kid Sun Wukong does seem to be hiding some serious depression behind a cheerful facade), whereas the Six-Eared Macaque retains a worse version of Sun Wukong’s pre-journey characteristic of getting pissed and lashing out if things don’t go his way--but it’s also what would make any current friendship or romantic relationship between these monkeys horrific. Although to be fair even the fandom seems to recognize this in an unconscious way, in that a lot of the art & fanfic seems to swing erratically between them kissing & screaming at each other in yet another example of bog-standard fandom adulation of romanticized toxic relationships lol.  
At the end of the day, of course, this is nothing new. You'll find versions of this dynamic across a ton of fandoms and now even canonical work. And as such, I can only look at this kind of popularized relationship dynamic with a kind of resigned weariness whenever it pops up, & my frustrated question with the popularity of this kind of pairing is the exact same one that I have for a multitude of blatantly toxic villain/hero ships, given common fandom discourse & the tendency to either ignore or justify the villain's actions & demonize the hero: if you're THAT convinced that everything is the hero's fault, if you believe THAT much that the hero is the one in the wrong for the villain's pain and their subsequent actions, then why are you so set on them not only becoming a romantic pair, but framing this get-together as a good thing? Like I know we contain multitudes but that's waaay too many contradictions for me to wrap my head around. And it definitely doesn’t help that one branch of underlying reasoning behind this kind of pairing seems to be the ever-present “you break it, you fix it” mentality, where the assumption is that if you’re in a failing, abusive, and/or generally toxic relationship (platonically or romantically), if you put in enough time and effort & attempts to compromise, you’ll be able to restore/have the relationship you dreamed of, even with someone who hurt you really badly. And this assumption isn’t limited to fandom: I’d even argue that it’s everywhere in the culture, hence why a lot of people feel like they “failed” if they have to get a divorce or make the choice to leave an unhealthy friendship. Personally, I feel like people could really benefit from more stories about how it is not only the case that the people you hurt don’t owe you their forgiveness & you can still become a better and happier person without the one you hurt in your life, & that while it can be really hard it can also be a good thing to leave a relationship, even if it’s one that once meant a lot to you. 
  But in all honestly, from my own perspective this kind of pairing is starting to read far less like enemies to lovers and far more like a horrible fantasy where you can pull whatever shit you want, even on the people you "love," & never be held accountable for your terrible behavior or even have to consider that maybe you were in the wrong. It's another facet that makes me larf every time I see people insist that fandom is an inherently "transformative" or "progressive" form of storytelling like friends you are literally just taking status quo toxic monogamy & rebranding it as somehow beneficial & romantic (X_X).
But as to anon’s last frustration, it is hard to know what is the appropriate response with this kind of thing...like for my own part I’m keeping my frustrations to my blog & now increasingly to posts that you would have to click on the “read more” button to see what I have to say, but I totally get the hesitation to give even a mild critique to big names in a fandom. Like I've now seen it happen repeatedly where someone who has a big name in a fandom will make something that's kind of shitty for one reason or another, someone will message them with some version of "hey, that's kind of shitty, you shouldn't do that," and the typical response is either to blatantly ignore the issue completely, or more popularly to make a giant crying circus that seems deliberately geared towards stoking emotions on both sides of the, for example, fiction does/doesn't affect reality issue so that something that didn't even have to be that big a deal gets blown out of all proportion, with the big name often framing what often started out as a very mild critique into a long crying jag about how the initial response to their kind of shitty thing was so mean/cruel and they're just a poor innocent & that YOU'RE the true racist/sexist/bigot etc. if you don't agree with their opinion. It must of course be noted that there have also been numerous instances of people taking it too far the other way & sending not just big names but smaller creators literal deaths threats over stuff like innocuous ships which like holy hell bells people that’s a horrible thing to do. But for the big names at least, the end result of all this fighting is usually that once the dust has settled they have more attention/fame/money/power in the fandom than before, and with anyone who might have a problem with their stuff feeling afraid to voice their opinion lest they be swarmed by that person's fans. In that way fandom does often seem to increasingly be geared towards presenting an “official” fandom perspective about various facets of a piece of media instead of allowing for a multitude of interpretations, and with criticism, no matter its shape or form or how genuinely warranted it may be, being hounded out of existence. I feel like a lot of this could be made less bad if there wasn’t this constant assumption & even drive to think that a different interpretation of or criticism of your favorite work of fiction or your fanwork isn’t a direct claim that you are a thoroughly loathsome individual (& maybe also if people cultivated an enjoyment of learning things about important works from a culture outside their own, even if what you learn clashes with your own initial understandings), but I guess we’ll see if that ever happens. 
So these are my general thinks about the Six Eared Macaque’s current fandom meow meow status & some of my bigger gripes with fandom tendencies as a whole. I stand by my idea that the most interesting & beneficial route for Macaque moving forward would be a kind of “redemption without forgiveness from the ones you hurt” arc--as I think was done pretty excellently with the character Grace in Infinity Train--and if for no other reason than gosh dern this monkey really needs to cultivate some sort of identity beyond his “Sun Wukong but worse” persona. 
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