#obviously lying abt that last part

[pissbbyy]

i cannot stop thinking abt the scene when jesse cries in walt’s arms in the crackhouse. it’s been plaguing my brain for months. i’m sitting in class n all i can’t think abt is jesse crying his little orbs out

(brba spoiler warning for the mfs that i know irl)

i mean, my god, EVERYTHING about this

walt calling jesse son. jesse immediately locking his arms around walt & desperately clinging onto him for support. walt actually seeming to care about jesse’s state for the first time in a WHILE. jesse immediately going from super out of it to WEEPING into his arms. walt’s evil evil little face of guilt after jesse sobs about jane’s death being all his fault.

breaking bad is a comedy show until a Situation occurs & jesse’s crying sucker punches you in the gut

i h8 this show

[dr3amofagame]

dreambur hate sex goes hard

i mean they don't hate each other tbf but i saw the words c!dreambur and sex so sure i'll support the agenda

[chisatowo]

I love how my first two pmd randomizer teams I characterised them in my head as different flavors of ah goofy and now these new guys are just a bunch of assholes. Just a gaggle of shitheads who think they're better than everyone else. They all hate eachother and think they're the only normal person here. They r also best friends but they do kill eachother on a regular basis.

[melrodrigo]

friends? p.2

Cairo Sweet x Fem Reader

Summary: A rivalry between you and Cairo has been going on for several months…what does it take for her to finally break?

Warnings: there r literally none they bicker like an old couple and cairos mean

Word Count: 2k+

A/n: helloooo i’m not sure abt this chapter but lmk what u thought, i cranked this out in its entirety last night, enjoy!

part 1

Friendship was not Cairo Sweet's strong suit. Ask her about Dickinson or Austen or Shakespeare—these were all things she could answer. But the ultimate question of friendship was not something hot on Cairo's mind.

She didn't need it, that was her take. And why would she waste time on something she didn't need?

Friends, much less a partner, was something she never saw for herself. The thought of being a housewife, living in a picture-perfect picket fence house, appalled her. The only things that mattered were her, her writing, and Yale.

So when a certain girl had entered her life, she hated it.

You.

You with your stupid face, and pretty hair, she hated you. A burning passion so intense it heated up her heart and made it race. So intense that she wanted to punch you in the face whenever you passed, only to bandage it up with feather light touches so she could punch you again harder.

At first it was nothing; she didn't have a thing to worry about. A blushing face while you stammered and fumbled around trying to give Mr. Miller an answer, she disregarded you as someone she could respect immediately.

But obviously she had caught you on a bad day, because after those first few weeks, you managed to present yourself in a less idiotic way.

You were, surprisingly smart.

Almost too smart, she pondered. It was getting in the way of her own studies. How could it be, that someone was on bar (never better) than her?

Often she found herself seething at you, arguing at every chance she had with your answers; but, you had given her the same treatment as well.

It wasn't strange for your classes to end in heated debate, both sides failing to yield. It bothered her greatly. She went back home and read more than she'd ever read before, studied just a few minutes longer because she could feel you taunting her.

"Sweet." You nodded, as she pushed open the doors to Millers class. You'd made it a habit to arrive early, leaving only you and her for a good thirty minutes before everyone else arrived.

It was infuriating. To have you so close, open, ready to harm, yet she could do nothing. She'd been having a particularly grueling week. Her parents had just come back from Brazil; and, always seemed to be ready to go at her throat. Gone were her lonely but comforting nights on her bed, candle-lit. Now it was just fights and condescending jabs.

"What did you get on the paper?" Your voice piped up, breaking her from her train of thought. You were referring to the paper Mr.Miller had given back last week, one that counted for forty percent of the grade.

She felt a swell of pride. Scores were something she could argue about. This would take off the stress she'd been building.

"99." She smirked, cocking her head to the side.

You whistled approval, nodding adamantly. Even though there was nothing to suggest so, she could swear she felt condescension in your tone.

She was good at picking out stuff like that. The roll of someone's tongue, the way they smack their lips—it all meant something to her.

She pursed her lips, narrowing her eyes. "What did you get?" She asked, brows furrowed.

You didn't say anything, simply holding up a finger and mouthing 'one hundo' and watched as disbelief took over her features.

"You're fucking lying." She seethed. Her good mood had suddenly disappeared just as fast as it had appeared.

You spun around in your seat, stupid smile on your face. God, she wanted to jump at you and claw it off.

"Hey, hey, it's okay to be mad. You can't be the best at everything." You told her, hands behind your head.She gripped the desk harder, knuckles turning a faint white.

She stood up, walking over to your desk."You little shi-"

"Good morning, the both of you!" Mr.Miller interrupted, cheery smile. His enthusiasm radiated off his body like rays radiated from the sun. He stopped short when he saw Cairo stalking close to you, a clear pout on her face.

"What are you doing?" He asked, question directed towards her, voice sickly sweet. He had grown fond of Cairo since the beginning of the term; she was his favorite student.

"I'd like her to be removed from the class. Can't you do that Mr.Miller?" She avoided his question, tilting her face at an angle where her chocolate colored eyes shone bright.

His white brows furrowed, not quite comprehending. "You mean," He started, "right now...?"

Bless him, he had no clue how manipulative Cairo was.

She doesn't let up, doesn't let her disappointment show. You notice it in the slight clench of her jaw--she's annoyed.

"I meant for the rest of the term, I can't stand being in the same class as her." She emphasized her words with a glare in your direction. You send her a sweet smile back.

"Please, flattery will get you nowhere." You winked, smile turning into a real one when you see her get visibly agitated.

"Please, girls. Let's be civil here all right?" Mr.Miller pipes up, trying to stand in between Cairo and you. It does nothing to lessen the tension in the air.

He turns slightly to Cairo, voice firm. "And no...I won't kick Y/N out."

The childish part of you desperately wants to fist pump the air; but, the more serious side of you decides maybe you shouldn't do that in the company of your arch nemesis.

Class turns weird fast. Cairo—normally quick and adamant—stays quiet, seemingly distracted by the simplest of things: a bird singing softly from a window, the great big forests where her house stood, the sound of your feet continuing to scrape against the carpet.

It irks you a little. It has you not listening in class, wanting to focus on the girl in front of you.

You almost don't hear it when Miller announces that you'll be working in pairs for the midterm project, preoccupied with her bobbling head, moving as if she were listening to some imaginary music.

"You will not be able to pick your own partner, that's already been done for...by me." He adds, after hearing the onslaught of voices from the students. It's clear he's not changing his mind.

"Alright. When I call your names, go sit with your pair and discuss how you'll do the assignment. Olivia, Taylor." He calls out the first pair, going down (what seems like) an endless list of names, never quite getting to yours.

You watch as countless people move around, silently looking out for who hasn't been called yet. You needed to get a good grade on this, and a lazy partner was going to be a nightmare.

You strain your ears to hear Mr.Miller over the commotion of students moving, but when you turn to squint at him you're surprised to see he's already looking at you.

A sinking feeling eats your entire being whole as you watch his mouth move. He points his finger at you, then someone in front of you.

Cairo Sweet.

Fuck.

Even though you loved to tease her, you did not need to have Cairo Sweet as your partner. She was likely to ruin you before you even got to starting the thing.

You don't make the first move to get up, instead you sit dumbly in your chair, bracing yourself.

Your peace is disrupted by a huff from above you. There she is.

"Move over. I need a seat." She says, something in her voice making you oblige. She pulls over an extra chair and sits by the other end of the table.

"You can come closer ya know." You say, unsure of how friendly to be. You'd only ever really spoke with her from a distance, a comfortable distance. Now that she's up in your personal space you feel ike you're going to suffocate.

She ignores you, pursing her lips as she listens to Miller explain the project.

You inch your chair closer, prepared to make a sly jab at the way she's being a teachers pet, but her stare—which has now been redirected on you—stops you in your tracks. She looks scary.

Lips downturned, nostrils flaring, you're a bit taken aback.

"Okay jeez. You don't have to be such an ass about it." You mumble, distancing yourself a great deal further than you already were. The mood, if it weren't enough already, turns more sour.

She ignores your suggestions and remarks on how to do the project, scribbling something down on to her notepad every now and then.

"Earth to you, Sweet. Are you listening to me?" You press, starting to feel those tendrils of annoyance grabbing you. It was one thing to be an ass, but to put her own feelings above doing good work was low, even for her.

Especially for her, you think.

"Do you ever shut up?" She growls, biting her cheeks so hard you could see the indent it was making on the outside.

"Okayyy...someone's obviously going through something, but can we just-" You gesture to the sheet of paper on the table, you haven't even been allowed to look at what she's written yet.

"I am NOT going through something." She says again, voice cracking. The sound brings forth a peculiar reaction in you, your mouth hanging open. Her eyes look...watery.

Before you can utter a word she's getting up and storming out the classroom, making heads turn left and right at the loud noise.

"Um...I'll be right back too." You say, sending Mr.Miller a cheeky smile and a wink, hoping that'll lessen his curiousity enough to not come out after the two of you.

You push open the doors, call Cairos' name a couple times.

You eventually find her outside, back pressed against the brick wall. She's lighting up a cigarette.

Her body language looks more calm now, but you're not sure what to do. You shuffle on your feet, twiddling your thumbs.

"Sorry I did that." She speaks, not turning to look at you. It startles you a bit, you hadn't realized she saw you.

"Cairo Sweet saying sorry? I must be dreaming." You try, although you're not smiling and she doesn't laugh. Humor seems to be sucked away in this little bubble belonging to only the two of you.

You move a little closer, then even closer when Cairo doesn't object. Even though you did hate her to the bone, you wanted to make sure she was okay.

"Are you...alright?" You ask softly, watching her face for an answer. She seems to be deep in thought.

She takes a swing from her cigarette and blows. "I don't like you." Is what she says.

The ice breaks. You no longer feel like you're supposed to pity her. This was Cairo Sweet, her heart was made of coal.

"Yeah I think we established that. Anything else?" You sigh, leaning back so you're also pressed up against the wall.

She turns to you, and for the first time, she doesn't seem very mad.

"I don't like you." She says again, moving closer. It's in your natural instinct to step back, why was she being so weird? Was she going to hurt you?

She grips your shoulder lightly, enough for you to get the message to stay still.

"I don't  like you." Cairo mutters for the third time, eyes piercing into yours. She seems to be speaking a little lower, a little raspier than normal. Cogs seem to be turning in her head, debating and debating and debating.

Debating on what you can't be certain.

"I get it, you don't like me. So what?" You mummur, voice lower than normal. The proximity is making your mind feel a little clouded.

You try not to let your gaze drift down to her lips, but when there's nothing around to distract yourself with, they do.

Her freckles, the ones that litter her face. You get the disgusting urge to touch them.

"So...don't get the wrong idea." She says before taking your lips in a kiss.

It takes you a second to comprehend what's really happening. You stand frigid, mouth parting to gasp. You're gasp is swallowed by her own lips, soft and supple.

Once Cairo feels that you aren't responding, she pulls away, frightened look on her face. Pink lips downturned, her cheeks a rosy red. You don't have time to process what the right move is. For now, you don't need Cairo thinking you didn't like whatever that was.

You reach for her neck, pull her in for a second kiss. It's somehow better than the first. She responds quick, hands wandering to cup your face, then down to circle your waist, then up to tangle in your hair—like she's changing her own mind too quick.

You let her take the lead, pressing you into the wall with a strength you didn't know she possessed.

You're too lost in it all, the smell of her shampoo, the feeling of her teeth scraping your lips, biting down only the slightest, her fingers burning traces wherever they go.

"Sweet." You breathe, coming out more like a soft moan than you would've liked.

She breaks apart from you, a wild mess. You think she's never looked prettier, hair everywhere, lips torn from your heated kisses.

Her eyes are soft until they flash and something else takes over. It's as if your voice had brought her back to life.

"I don't like you." She snarls, and promptly turns on her heels, just a slight increase in speed than her normal strut.

You're left breathless, staring out into the green plains. Mind and heart racing, you're not sure which organ you should listen to.

The implication of what you did hits you like a freight train. You groan and press your hands to your head, willing and willing and willing for a solution to come out of it.

Not to anyones surprise, nothing comes. A magic fairy doesn't tell you what to do, and you're still standing behind school panting.

"Oh god."

[junicult]

Could you write about what it’s like when the bachelors and the farmer decide to try for a baby? Either the conversation they have about it or when they actually TRY 😉. Or both… No pressure tho! I love your work!

!! trying for a baby with the bachelors.

contains ; fem!farmer. nsfw! fluffff <33. talk of children / pregnancy. mostly talk, not much smut. some smut in harvey’s, sam’s, & alex’s. farmer wears a dress. breeding kink. not proofread! i’ll add more tags later & i apologize this is a bit rushed :,

harvey.

- alright so i basically talked all abt this on my last post,

- but i’ll happily elaborate further.

- first of all, this man dreams of being a father.

- he’s always wanted to be one, and may i just say he’d be the best father?? hello???

- if u don’t agree ur lying.

- so i wanna say the topic of children was first brought up when you were only dating.

- “would you ever want to have kids one day?” you ask, and it wasn’t so blunt that he was blindsided, but he was still a little taken aback by the question.

- standing next to you in his kitchen, mixing breakfast on the stove while you sat on the counter.

- he only looks at you for a sec, because ever the overthinker he is, he’s afraid he’ll say the wrong thing.

- “yes, i do. one day.” he feels the need to specify, before looking back down at the pan to avoid eye contact.

- he doesn’t see your smile, or the way you softly chuckle at his action.

- “me too. one day.”

- and now he feels beyond excited. so excited that he starts to grin without even realizing it.

- i feel like that’s as far as the conversation went for now, you changing the topic to breakfast and starting to get plates together while he displayed it all.

- but ofc the thought would always stay in the back of his mind.

- bc now, when you’re married and it’s actually clear that you would want him to be the father of your child, it’s easier to have the conversation without feeling worried abt rejection. for him, at least.

- i feel like it happens one night after work, and you’re both a little exhausted and just want to be together.

- ur all clean and full after showering and eating together, just spending time w one another before u finally finish up ur tiring day in bed.

- “do you want to try for a baby?” you ask.

- my fav part abt all of this is that u always ask at the most unexpected times.

- but he’s not as shocked this time around, cus he was literally thinking the same thing.

- “do you want to?” lmfao.

- “i do. i think we’re ready.”

- say no more, cus he’s absolutely ready.

- i mean, he’s literally been ready for the last like 15 years of his life so…yeah.

- i mentioned this my last post, but i’m gonna say it again. to really get the message across.

- ur married to a doctor. ur abt to try for a baby with a DOCTOR.

- ur not just gonna fuck until you make a baby. unfortunately 😞

- he’s gonna help you figure out ur ovulation schedule. and if you aren’t for a while, obviously you’re not just gonna stop having sex, but you’re not going to be actively trying as hard until you’re ovulating.

- and when u finally aarreee 😊😊😊

- tehehehe.

- imagine he comes home from spending like the entire day in the clinic, and he’s so tired and all he wants to do is be with you.

- like he’s literally spent the last three or so hours thinking about burying his face in the crook of your neck and just holding you.

- so picture his excitement when you finished up your work super quick, made dinner, and you tell him ur ovulating liikkeeeee.

- suddenly he’s forgotten all about his annoying day.

- his arms wrap around your waist, lifting you ever so slightly to meet his height while your lips are already molded together.

- try to tell me he wouldn’t lift u bridal style to take u to the bedroom. just try.

- hands softly running up and down your body underneath your layers of clothes, kisses trailing down to your neck and collar while he piece by piece helps you out of them.

- “love these lips, these cheeks, these ears,” he whispers all the while emphasizing each feature with a kiss.

- he’s so handsy, and he won’t let you hear the end of his praise.

- prep prep prep prep prepppppps you.

- he’s so grateful to be able to have you like this, ofc he’s going to make the most of it.

- plus, statistically, a female orgasm increases the chances of pregnancy.

- it wouldn’t hurt to up the chances by giving you a few, now would it?

sam.

- for sam, being a father wasn’t really something he spent so much time dwelling on.

- like, it’d just be a passing thought in his mind before he fell asleep,

- occasionally wondering what it’d be like to have a wife and kids, but not something he’d want to act on for at least a few years.

- he never found himself thinking about that kind of stuff, until he met you.

- and sure, you were both young, but the more he spent time with you, the longer he fell in love with you, the thought would continue to pop up way more often.

- he started to really think about it after seeing you interact with vincent.

- how his little brother would come running into your arms the minute you knocked on the door, excitedly latching onto you as his way of saying hello.

- “hey kiddo, how’s it been?” as if you didn’t see him literally yesterday.

- but that doesn’t matter, bc the way you ruffle his hair, entertaining his all-over-the-place conversation without even a hint of annoyance—makes sam feel all sputtery inside.

- it’s like vincent would be your main priority until he finished up telling you whatever it was he wanted you to know, and then you’d turn and greet your boyfriend with a small kiss on the cheek.

- like sam was secondary to the rest of his family, bc not to mention, you were also a sweetheart to jodi.

- vincent absolutely adored you. he’d always bother sam about you, asking when you’d come over or if he could tag along on your dates.

- i feel like his breaking point (if u will) was when he came home from work one day to see all three of you in his kitchen.

- his mom was teaching you how to make some special dish, and you had vincent propped on your back so he could watch.

- “sorry! i forgot you were working today but jodi just told me to wait here, and we kinda lost track of time.” you justify, face pinching in worry at his silence.

- that’s the exact moment it all clicked for him.

- he stayed dreadfully quiet while jodi finished up teaching you, and each moment you were growing increasingly worried.

- it wasn’t until you finally had alone time, and you immediately started gushing apologies when you stepped into his room.

- “i’m so sorry, sam, i didn’t mean to make it awkward for you, but your mom wanted to show me something and i was excited to learn and i dunno, i just forgot about—“

- “i wanna get married to you.”

- gn.

- you just blink back in awe, unsure of how to respond bc WHAT a bomb to drop rn.

- “…you do?”

- “so bad. i love you so much, i really want to be your husband.”

- so of course you ask him, “where is this coming from? i thought you were mad at me?”

- he just cups his hands on your cheeks, shaking his head. “are you kidding? how could i ever be mad at you spending time with my family?”

- and when he realizes you didn’t say anything, he goes all quiet and he’s like, “…do you wanna marry me?”

- duh.

- and so the topic of kids doesn’t follow long after, when you both mutually agree you want them, but at least not for a while.

- neither of u act on it until like a year after u get married.

- “vincent was asking about you. says he misses you and wants us to come over for dinner soon.” sam says, recapping his day while you wash your body beside him.

- btw, i like to think he waits until whenever u need to shower to shower with u.

- why? idk.

- anyways,

- “i’ll go visit him tomorrow. i miss the little guy,” you giggle.

- for him, he misses the way he’d see you interact with his little brother. how sweet, and kind you were. how you’d always include him in things, and despite him being a child, you didn’t really treat him as one.

- sure, you knew better then to say certain things around him, but when it came to all of you being in the same room together, you made sure he wasn’t forgotten about.

- he knows you’d be a great mother.

- “i wish we had a baby.” he blurts, a little frown on his face as he rinses the soap out of his hair.

-“really?”

- it’s not like it’s a foreign topic, but it’s still a little unexpected.

- “yeah! they’d have your hair and my eyes. with your cheeks, and cute nose.”

- he’s so cute i’m sobbing.

- you can’t help but grin at him as he goes on about how many kids he wants, and what they’d be named, and how they’d look.

- “yeah, i know vincent has jas but how cool would it be if he had another little buddy in town?”

- “i didn’t think you wanted kids yet?”

- “well, that was a year ago. we just haven’t really talked about it since.” he shrugs, and you can’t help but kiss his cute, rosy cheek.

- so from now on, ur gonna try for a baby🫡

- it’s definitely not as thought out as harvey.

- yeah, u guys are just gonna fuck until it works LMAO.

- but dare i say, you’ve never enjoyed sex like this.

- you’re all hot and sweaty, naked, hair clinging to your neck and staggered breaths all over his lips.

- “nggh, fuck, sam—feels s’good…” moaning into his mouth while he does the same, hips meeting yours at a eye-rolling pace.

- he’s already came twice, hardly enough energy to even bring himself to a third but yet somehow, here he is, fucking into you like he knows no better.

- and he won’t stop sputtering just pure filth in your ear,

- “mmgh—y’so pretty, so perfect. you’d make the prettiest babies.” “what are you doing to me? nnfuck, feels so, so good…”

- your fingers are feathered through his hair, arms wrapped around his neck to keep him close.

- you’re already so sensitive and overstimulated by the time he cums. you both are.

- so while he catches his breath, he’s holding you close and staying buried to the hilt inside of u.

shane.

- :,).

- i feel like it’s his little secret that he’s always wanted to be a father.

- but he never thought it’d happen for him.

- and after he met you, first of all he was shocked you liked him back.

- and as time progressed, and you’ve helped with his alcohol addiction, he’s really found that he fell in love with you.

- spending all this time together, despite you being so busy.

- you always make a way to fit him into your schedule, whether it be he comes over and helps you with some of your chores, or you meet him at the saloon.

- but as time progressed, and you were both were absolutely infatuated with each other, he couldn’t stop thinking about marrying you.

- but more importantly…having kids with you.

- i think, generally, he wants to be a good father, which is why he’s always kinda wanted kids.

- he wants to try to be there for his child, and wants to laugh with them, help them when they need it, watch them grow up and stuff.

- he wants to be able to nurture someone in a way he wasn’t really able to do for himself.

- but also, he’s a little possessive🤷‍♀️

- it’s sick, and gross, but the idea of you walking around with a pretty, swollen belly and everyone gets to know he did that. well.

- and he just knows you’d be the most amazing mom. with how you care for your animals, and you’re such a hard-worker…he’s gonna lose his mind.

- so yeah, despite him thinking about it constantly, you’re still the first to bring it up.

- “…can we talk about something?”

- instantly, he’s nervous. he feels like ur gonna break up with him or something.

- “a-about what?”

- you’re in the middle of washing dishes, so you use that as an excuse to avoid eye contact.

- since you’ve been dating for many months now, long past the point of exchanging “i love you”‘s and even closer to the inevitable possibility of marriage.

- but to make it this far and find out he doesn’t want children like you do, well that would be the most painful way to end things.

- “what are your thoughts on…like…kids?”

- he blinks.

- “kids?”

- “yeah, kids. like…children.”

- he’s quietly scratching the back of his head, trying not to let confusion paint across his face but yet here he is, eyebrows furrowed and head tilted.

- “i—i dunno. they’re pretty…cool? i guess? i like them…”

- he’s just staring at you, trying to read your expression in any way to figure out what the hell u are bringing this up for.

- he’s even more confused when you just nod instead of giving him an answer.

- “is that all you wanted to talk about?”

- it takes u another like 5 minutes to finally swallow your fear, and flicker your gaze to him.

- “no, i just…well i wanted to know if you’d ever be interested in, like, having kids….of your own—in the future! not now, or, whatever.”

- he thinks ur so cute.

- the way you’re purposely angling your chin down to hide your face, and despite the fact that you’ve already cleaned the same plate like seven times, you still continue to scrub it.

- he has half a mind to laugh a little, but he knows that’s only make you feel more nervous. so he just smiles quietly to himself, looking at you.

- “hmm, having kids?” he sighs, leaning against the counter, crossing his arms like he’s in deep thought to agonize you teasingly.

- “well, considering i have jas in my life, yeah. kids aren’t so bad.”

- the puppy-dog look you give him finally has him chuckling.

- “you’d want kids?”

- “yeah, someday. but you know, having kids is kind of a two person job.“

- now it’s your turn to giggle, fixing your gaze back towards a new dish you grab to clean.

- “oh, is it?”

- “mhm. they’re hiring, too. but not just anyone can apply.”

- “what’re the requirements?”

- he gently wraps his arms around your waist, pressing against your back and lowering to rest his chin on your shoulder.

- “hmm, we’ll they’re looking for someone who’s perfect.” he presses a kiss to your cheek. “have i told you you’re perfect?”

sebastian.

- much like sam, he didn’t really spend time thinking about fatherhood.

- it wasn’t something he dwelled on hardly, if not ever.

- he had other things to focus on, and unfortunately he didn’t really think that’d ever be a part of his future.

- and it didn’t change right when he met you.

- he really liked you for a long time before anything even progressed (nerves, i guess?)

- but eventually, you were steadily a very good couple.

- spending lots of time together, going on dates (more like ponder sessions by the rivers and beach but whatever) and just overall the early stages of falling in love.

- he’d come visit at the farm and wouldn’t leave for days. even when he told himself he needed to, it’d take him so long to actually leave.

- he spent so much time thinking about you too, that of course his mind began to wander.

- what would marriage be like, first of all.

- it didn’t take long before he decided he liked that thought. coming home to you every day, waking up with you by his side.

- his city dreams weren’t so important to him anymore. not if it meant leaving you behind.

- now, as for children,

- he didn’t spend much time thinking about it for a while. it was mostly just a passing thought in his mind.

- kinda like sam, you two definitely discussed it before getting married but it was a short, “if we decide we want to someday,” and that was about it.

- i feel like sebastian is a little possessive, too.

- he loves the fact that he’s married to you now. that he’s legally tied to you and he has a reason for wanting you all to himself some days.

- the longer you two were married, however, he had to get used to his mom’s constant remarks.

- “you know, i did build a nursery in her house, sebby. just something to think about.” robin grins in passing convo.

- which he can’t help but cringe at what his mom is implying, but he guesses she has a point.

- so as he got older, he started to think about having kids a lot more.

- because, yes, being married to him does kinda scream off limits.

- but wouldn’t having a child be even a much better indicator?

- how there’s actual living proof that sebastian is yours and you are his.

- yeah, he’s gonna be thinking about it a lot.

- “honey, are you okay? you’ve been really quiet today.” you wonder softly, wrapping your arms around his back where he laid with his face pressed against your chest.

- you know that sometimes he just likes to be alone, and it has nothing to do with you, it’s just his own personal preference.

- but he’s not usually like this. clingy, latched onto you tight while he’s lost in his thoughts.

- “hm? oh, yeah i’m fine baby. don’t worry.”

- you frown at his vagueness. “you can tell me anything. need me to step out? i don’t mind, sebby.”

- he loves u sm.

- “no! no, it’s nothing like that,” he even accentuates by squeezing you a little tighter, “i’ve just…been thinking.”

- “about…?”

- you feel him shrug, but he moves his face to bury into the crook of your neck, so you can’t see him.

- “i dunno, just like…us. i guess.”

- 😑

- “…okay…”

- and now ur kind like, sitting up to move away from him, and he’s not having that.

- he frowns, once again tightening his hold on you and burying himself deeper.

- “nothing bad, i promise.” he murmurs into you.

- “then what is it?”

- you never want to pressure him to tell you what’s on his mind, but when he’s like this, you feel like you deserve to know a little.

- he only answers with hesitation, taking long enough before you frown and squint your eyes down at him.

- “sebastian, if y—“

- “i wanna have a baby.”

- lol.

- now it gets real quiet.

- you freeze, hand pausing midway through his hair. you can almost feel the significant change in the atmosphere.

- “…what?”

- “i know we haven’t really talked about it lately, i just think it’s something we should talk about.”

- he keeps his face hidden away from yours, despite you attempting to look down at him.-

- but, if he was looking at you, he’d be able to see the smile on your plump cheeks, and how you were suddenly wrapping your legs around his torso.

- “i was thinking the same thing.”

alex.

- okay, so for this one,

- i feel like it’d be 50/50.

- one half of me says he’d never want kids.

- he saw the man his father grew up to be, and he despises him because of it.

- it scarred him enough to mess with his relationships with past women, definitely gave him commitment issues for a long while.

- so he never wanted to be a father. he can’t picture himself as one.

- but the other half of me says the opposite.

- he’s a man, who knows what it’s like to live with an abusive, absent father.

- and despite him still being kind of young, he couldn’t stop thinking about how he’d never treat his child, or even his wife like how his father did.

- almost like he’d want to prove people wrong.

- like, not all men end up like his father. most of them can actually become loving, supportive fathers and husbands.

- that’s the side of him i like to think abt most 😇

- but, i do wanna say though, when he met you, he didn’t really think that deeply about you.

- sure, he really liked you and how sweet you are. you’d always spend time with him, and make him feel better whenever he was down.

- most importantly, however, you weren’t shy to put him in his place if he ever said anything offhanded.

- you taught him a lot, and that’s when he really started to fall for you.

- it didn’t take long to confess his feelings. he likes being bold like that, and rejection doesn’t scare him.

- after you told him you reciprocated, he was instantly excited to call you his girlfriend.

- evelyn and george already loved you, (maybe evelyn a little more openly,) so accepting you into the family was a very easy task.

- he’d talk about you constantly. he’d find any opportunity to steer the conversation to you, and run with it for as long as they’d let him.

- and don’t get me started whenever he’s with you.

- he may act all tough, and above-it all the time, but i can promise you:

- whenever you’re alone, he’s just a big baby.

- smushing his face into your chest, wrapping his arms and legs around you so he could take a nap.

- and he loves when you’d lay like that, brushing your fingers through his hair and telling him about you day so he can just listen to your voice.

- now, that being said: i feel like he’s not scared to talk about wanting children with you.

- it was probably a conversation early on in your relationship, he just steered clear from stating he’d like you to be the mother of his child.

- “yeah, i’d love to have kids one day. babies love me!” kinda thing.

- and the longer you two were dating, and the more serious and committed it became, he was all for letting you know what was really on his mind.

- “you’d be the most perfect mom. our kids would be so smart, and gentle. plus, with our ridiculously good looks—unbeatable.” he grins, pop kissing all over your face as wraps his arms around you.

- behind your fit of giggles, you can’t help but counter, “please, alex, i need get back to work!”

- and he’s reluctantly sending you off to do your job, spending the rest of his hours making himself busy at home until he can repeat it all over again when you finish up at night.

- despite him talking and thinking about it so often, much like the rest of the guys he won’t act on it until you’re actually married.

- probably like a month after you get married he brings it up, but not like he used to.

- “hmm, what do you say about making a baby, pretty?” his fingertips slide through your hair, cupping the side of your face.

- he can’t help but place one calloused hand to your bare stomach, pressing down just slightly to watch the way your eyes pinch and lips part.

- his hips were stilled, cock buried deep inside of you after minutes of teasing you.

- “nngh? whaa—“ you’re hardly coherent, head lulling into his palm the moment he begins his slow drags in and out of you.

-“aww, you’d look so pretty carrying my kids, dontcha think? let’s make it happen baby, please?” “we wanna baby, right? c’mon, we’re ready. now’s perfect.”

- he’s gently nipping at your cheek, kissing down your jaw and neck to hear you whine on top of the way he’s pressing against you.

- “c-can’t, t’much,” you whimper, eyes rolling the minute his hips snap and his pace quickens.

- “yes you can, i know you can.” his voice is breathless and low in your ear, “why don’t you let me cum inside, hm?”

- his sweet gaze has your head spinning, lower lip puckered and wobbling.

- you’re so overstimulated even the slightest movement has your body twitching, throat swelling.

- yet somehow, you’re still bringing yourself to nod slowly while he grins above you.

- “yeah, knew you’d like that.”

elliot.

- he’s absolutely ready to be a father.

- it probably didn’t become something he actually dwelled on until he got older, but yeah, he’s absolutely ready.

- when he met you, not to say it was love a first sight but…

- it was love at first sight.

- he quickly became well acquainted with you, and spent much time with you.

- whether you were at his cabin, or he came to visit your farm, it didn’t matter.

- it didn’t take long before you started dating and fell in love.

- he’d find himself thinking about you at his desk instead of writing.

- or lying awake at night, missing you beside him and eagerly awaiting the morning when he could go and see you.

- he’d spend so much time picturing what it’d be like to have you as his wife and mother of his children.

- the topic of kids was definitely early on.

- “i’d want three. two girls and a boy. he’d be the youngest.” he hums, taking a bite out of a pomegranate you had just given him a few minutes beforehand.

- “yeah? three, huh?”

- he smiles, nodding.

- “well y’know, if she didn’t want three, then i’m fine with however many.”

- you were sitting on the foot end of his bed, while he sat beside you.

- “hmm, no, three is fine. i’m sure she wouldn’t mind three.”

- “you think?” he licks the fruit juice off his thumb behind his grin, before leaning back against the headboard.

- “oh, i know.”

[mikerztmf]

two ppl asked and i shall deliver!! so have a whole essay about jake-centric drake 👍👍

the natural place to start talking about jake's feelings about drew is near the start of their friendship: the freshman scene in ep9. i think this scene (and ep11) is one of the few points where you can really tell what jake thinks of drew. and to sum it up, he thinks pretty highly of him.

it's never super obvious, but when you think about it, drew really meant so much to jake. because drew was really jake's first friend after middle school, the first person to ever accept him so easily. BUT, he couldn't necessarily tell drew that, bc he'd be forced to open up about his past and his passion for music (which is like. the one thing he doesn't want to do)

and imo, jake caring about drew (and henriam ofc but this ain't abt them) and genuinely wanting to be friends is sort of... integral to who he is as a character, in a way. jake changed himself to keep drew, bc he cared about what drew thought of him. whether or not he was right, jake assumed that drew would bully him/drop him if he ever found out that he liked music. jake didn't wanna lose drew, so he kept quiet and lied. it obviously wasn't RIGHT, but still, it's what he does.

once he got closer to the music club, things got way more complicated though, because jake's lies became more than just lies of omission. and eventually, he grew distant towards drew around eps8-10. HOWEVER, i dont think he was really aware that he was doing it, or that he was inherently being an asshole/bad friend on purpose???

i think that's proven in the drake fight. like, jake lied to protect his friendship with drew, but it obviously backfired on him in the long run ("how am i supposed to know anything about your passion when you don't tell me anything anymore!?"). so jake only actually realised his mistakes, especially how badly he treated drew in the past month of canon, when they were thrown in his face by DREW HIMSELF.

and you see jake himself be surprised before quickly cracking, because he realised that drew was right. he has been lying for years. and it's sorta important to think abt the words here. "if you care so much about your friends, jake, why don't you spit out the truth already?!" ...quickly followed by jake spitting out the truth. not only did (and probably still does) jake care about drew, but he also considered them friends! WHICH ALSO EXPLAINS "nice to know we were never really friends." "that's not...! drew..."

jake trying to defend himself shows that even after everything, he still viewed drew as a friend, and wanted drew to hear him out and stay in his life. like, idk, after he came clean, jake still cared about what drew thought, and hoped that he'd want to still be his friend too.

i talked abt this in my last essay, but jake was so broken up after the fight. sure, it looked like he'd moved on, but the way he thought he saw the jomies at the competition + the right now mep part just kinda proved that he hadn't. and idk, i can only imagine that it hurts - losing your first friend, and only having yourself to blame because you lied to his face in an attempt to keep him.

LMAO SO IDK i think jake sort of did value drew as a friend, and that maybe, just maybe, drake is not as unrequited as people think?? imo their issue wasn't really that it was one-sided, but bc they never told eachother how much they valued eachother (for whatever reason)

[astridthevalkyrie]

U want lds thoughts? I gotchu 🫡

I really like all 3 boys, but I'm leaning Zayne bc he's just so husband coded. He's the only one I could see a long-term relationship w. I love Xavier and Rafayel, but I just can't picture them as husbands or dads (at least w my MC/myself). I also desperately need them to interact in game and in the main story, there's just sm potential for chaos and funnies.

I honestly dk what will happen next. Obviously, MC is gonna want to investigate Onichynus and her heart, but idk how that story will unfold or how they'll tie in the stories w each li and their separate myths/reincarnation bit. (Also, the fact that the myths happen in the future doesn't make sense to me yet, so I hope they plan to really flesh that out and not give us questionable writing like most mobile otomes do). Idk how I feel abt Sylus (and possibly Caleb) becoming lis, ig I'll have to see what they're like and if they appeal to me at all, bc so far we haven't had enough Caleb content for me to actually get attached (I was also convinced he was MCs brother so idt I'll ever be able to see him romantically 😭).

I hope we'll get to see more of the side characters and what MCs life is like outside of just the three guys, but I honestly doubt it lmao (more for me to hc abt ig lol).

I have more but this is already rambly and idk how to be coherent rn. This game is giving me brainworms and I'm def thinking abt it too hard. Oh, well. I don't consume media, media consumes me.

i'm telling you it's xavier boyfriend zayne husband and rafayel sneaky link. that's exactly the look and vibe they give off.

i think as of right now zayne is the most popular, at least on ao3 him/mc is the most popular ship. which is just to be expected when you have a levi ackerman coded character LOL. like you said, he's a husband. he just is. he's a doctor and he's successful and he cares for the mc so deeply it just makes sense. i started the game for him because. i mean he looks like THAT. he acts like THAT. he has ice powers and you get to melt the ice in his heart and make him love you i adore that shit see my pinned post for the kind of romance i write you could make a zayne x reader set in the aot universe and it would be my fic. and dooooooon't get me started on dawnbreaker zayne. DON'T GET ME STARTED i gasped during the anecdote when the truth about the kid comes out. he dreams about his past life what the fuck bro what the fuck.

surprisingly, though, while i do love him, he's probably the one i've had the least amount of thoughts about (that's still clearly a lot of thoughts so that's not saying much). i think it's partly because my gacha favors xavier and rafayel a lot more and right now i pretty much am just heavily thinking about whichever guy i consumed the content for last.

xavier and rafayel have me obsessed. i thought xavier would be completely meh because zen from mysme was meh for me. but um. he was not meh. my levi hawks pattern has told me that i love a man who was forced into fighting because of the stupid goodness in his heart and manipulative outside forces. and even though that's not exactly what's going on with xav, he does have that vibe. his is the only myth i've watched in full and i'm just. they should have been able to go to uluru together. the scene where they're both lying on the ground i have watched it so many times. i love love love the royalty x captain of the guards trope so much. the fact that they both serve in both roles is insane. i've read the anecdote about her first life on philos too there's a fucking part in there that talks about how he shares his EARBUDS with you?????? end me.

and rafayel is beautiful. like he's actually beautiful. his english voice actor makes him sound so fucking bisexual + the bi wife energy whenever you're with him is just. UGH. the game is hilarious whenever he's on screen and obviously with the way the main story has ended for now he's the most intriguing. and while you can feel the pining energy from all three of them, his is just. lowkey the most pathetic. and i eat it up. bro started TEACHING AT HER COLLEGE just for the chance to see her. i like that he's not possessive per se but he is very whiny and attention seeking the sassy man syndrome is real. i need to unlock his myth but i'm not patient so i may very likely just watch it on youtube. i need to see hunter rafayel. i need to see him right now.

the main story is genuinely fascinating. i was a little bit bored up until the explosion happened and it really kicked in. bc suddenly it's not just 3 guys and you doing your best, but you actively investigating and them helping you. like i said i don't have raf's myth and i haven't finished zayne's yet (need more fucking upgrades to his card) so i don't have the full story but at least what i'm getting right now is okay. they're all from the past or future. they all remember?? xavier and rafayel definitely do. zayne knows something about grandma who seems kinda shady to me. i've seen the caleb=sylus or at least caleb lives theories. i saw someone say the man at the end isn't sylus though? and his english va is the same as caleb's but in other languages it's someone else. idk.

idk about the others but xavier's myth being in the future makes sense. i'm pretty sure the timeline goes: in our current timeline, earth is about to go bye-bye and become inhabitable bc of wanderers -> survivors go to philos -> xavier and a new mc are both born -> she dies bc of something in her heart and is reborn bc she's the only one who's truly immortal (everyone else on philos lives forever naturally but can still be killed i think??) -> new lightseeker mc and xavier are meant to become guard and prince respectively but philos is dying -> to save mc from being sacrificed again and again xavier decides to go back in time to find another way where he after at least like 200 years meets current timeline mc

i know what you mean about not being able to see caleb as a love interest. the first time i saw him i genuinely thought they had no need to make my brother this hot what the fuck. and then i realized he was just her childhood friend and i went

and then he blew up 😭

i neeeeeed to see the love interests interact. i mean mc barely thinks about the others whenever she's with one but i really hope in the next arc we actually see them meeting each other. beefing or working together or whatever, i need to know (i may also have already started a fic about what's gonna happen next bc i'm mentally ill). xavier has a tracker on her so he should be able to find her and zayne kinda disappeared off the face of the earth but i want them all back. i want interaction. i want it so bad.

[lovewithoutresin]

Here’s my take, if you don’t mind my sharing it. It’s not that I’m looking to strip TGW of its original meaning. It’s that when it came out, I was like, “okay. Another song where Taylor is entirely at fault.” That’s not to say it’s a bad song, but that the theme is everywhere - Afterglow, peace, TGW, even Anti-Hero if you think about it all depicted Joe as this perfect figure who had to put up with Taylor’s many problems. It bothered me then and it bothers me now. That’s not to say TGW isn’t telling the truth, but that I wonder if there’s more to the story. A war takes two people. And I do think “maybe it was her” is probably the only time in her discography pre-YLM that she’s ever been like “maybe you did something too” about Joe. The rest of the song is about how he wanted her to trust him, how he was broken and blue, looking at her with honor and truth, and how she nearly lost him because of her poison.

Idk, maybe it’s just because I was never particularly interested in Joe so I found it to be missing some part of the story from the beginning. And we won’t know anything for sure until TTPD. But I don’t think questioning its larger narrative, narrated by someone very much unreliable due to her bias against herself and toward him, especially after Joever, is necessarily rewriting it or an attempt to ruin it.

No this is fair. And I do get how it would be a bit difficult to swallow that Joe was never really considered the villain in any of these songs. Obviously it takes two for a relationship to have friction and she obviously rewrote things in her head to blame herself a lot.

I think my thing is that like. A lot of Taylor's writing abt that relationship has been about her struggle with paranoia. And for a LOT of people (I don't know if you posted abt TGW or anything recently but if so I promise my post wasn't an indirect just ftr) it seems like Joever negates this character trait of hers in some way, because oh! She was right! Something was wrong!

And maybe that is the case, and we won't know more until TTPD, but like... as someone w BPD (here's where the personal bias kicks in), Taylor's openness about her paranoia and flight risk tendencies has been one of the things I've connected to the most over the years. So I guess it's a bit off putting to see some of the suggestions that this is suddenly not something that's genuinely a flaw of hers that she grapples with, and that it was just her lying to herself all along, because it's sort of like... first off painting paranoia/jealousy issues that she portrayed herself as working on getting over as something to demonize, ig? That's a specific tone I've only seen in a couple of posts/other people's asks though, not a broad thing. But then it also feels like it negates the idea that she may have been honest about dealing with this in herself, and it feels like people are just too eager to jump on that train.

I do like what Jaime said sometime in the last 24 hours abt it being something she genuinely dealt with that was then weaponized against her, though. And I think it's possible a more nuanced take is in order where she does deal with this, but it was made to feel like this horrible aspect of her instead of a problem they could face together, or he used it against her to paint her as overreacting when she DID see problems for what they were, or... any number of things, honestly. We can't know for sure yet! I'm just not so quick to jump on the train that she's never been afraid and wrong before, which is the tone I do see a lot of.

[stillmonsterz]

god i love u fr

anw so— birds of a feather quite literally fucked up my day (in a good way) like im so invested into this story and im just in awe of the level of literacy in the way u write and im kinda taking some notes and learning from u in a way?? i mean that in a very appreciative way and i think ur genuinely one of a kind absolutely gem writer on this app like i could go on and on abt the way you write your characters and their chemistry w each other like ugh im eating it up im so full

so onto the actual fic, WHAT THE FUCK RIKI?? when i catch u riki istg, my heart SANK at that last part like i knew something was up bc he hasn't caused anything in a while and that was like a bullet sized dagger straight through my heart jfc. he had me all bamboozled and im actually feeling rage at the way mc showed vulnerability to him only to be backstabbed by him and now he's like dragging her w a noose around her neck— it's insane how he immediately dismissed mc and jumped the gun at how she could only be lying like that part just made him go from my fav character to my most loathed character. also suddenly the few mentions of riki being 'cute and evil' compared to everyone else makes so much sense, and tbh i don't trust that he'd stay quiet abt those ss he's just gonna be bored and leak them after a while i feel like.

oh and i cant forget abt the jay scene in the hotel GOD i had such a viceral emotional reaction to every dialogue they said— my brain is thoroughly jumbled, a smut scene on ecstasy could never compare to the gut wrenching situationship break up that was. if i may be honest, jay's a pussy lmao wdym you can't be wrong and admit you're not even half as bad as u thought lol anw he's going straight into the complicated men box. sorry that was me trying to cope w the fact that all of the progress jay and mc made was just gone like that and it's all back to square one now, i can't deal w that loss rn im fr mourning over it. there's just a lot to say abt that scene it might be my all time favorite piece of fanfic i've read in my life, im losing my mind at the contrast between mc wanting to savor the moment and make it last longer while jay's trying to get it over with bc i know that he knows if he takes as much time as he'd like, he'd actually realize he loves her and that's just too much of big boy feelings for him (im bullying him too much bc im so sour rn)

also the reveal w jake dealing w addiction was eye opening, like now im rethinking back to all the times he's been fidgety and including that recent scene w mc when he comes out of the restrooms, god i was dying for the mc to just get in there and ivestigate around BUT SHE DIDN'T im so pissed. jake's definitely shown some cracks in this part and i can't wait to see him be vulnerable to mc and be honest for once, he's hiding too much and i still don't trust him i can't lie.

and i think we might be only skimming the surface w the other members, i weirdly adore sunoo lmao he's such a cryptid being, and tbh the only good thing that came out of this was sunghoon and lily being a maybe healthy couple, i love love that scene w him and lily it's such a sweet and cute moment in between all the shit mc's digging herself in lmao. i don't think i have an opinion on heeseung yet other than he obviously cares for his members, or at least the kc's reputation, and has his bearings together enough to tell the mc straight up abt all of that. also jungwon.... why do i hear boss music.... LMAO but honestly the bit where it mentioned that he got shit on everyone combined w the ending had me clawing at the walls, he's gonna be important later on and im feeling the nerves crawl up my spine even though he's never shown up once in this part, im that scared of him 😭

im terrified at what's to come, like actual dread on if riki's abt to spill everything to jay and if jay will find out and— this is too overwhelming and my mind's so cluttered lol. anw im not gonna speculate anything rn for my health but im gonna write this last paragraph in appreciation for the way you write morally gray characters, like just completely blown away by how complex and unpleasant they were written, and i mean unpleasant bc i fr know some ppl who'd act this way, it's bone chilling. granted not to the extent these characters are but it's still enough to take me back into the headspace and social circle in my younger years, just the deep regret crashing all over me again lol. not to say this was horrible no no quite the exact opposite this is the most fun and absorbed i've got from a fic in a long time, this left such an impression on me that it sneaks into the back of my mind all the time, which amplifies everytime i open this app just to scroll and i always unconsciously search ur user to see if you've updated or not.

last one i promise, thank u sm for writing this fic and all ur other fics, i know and i can tell when a writer has literacy in their heart ur up there w my forever favorites. can't wait to see it all unfolds and im hoping the mc have some sort of a good ending, fingers crossed 🥲 (sorry for this wall of text also lol)

Putting my answer under a read-more

First of all, please don't apologize for sending large asks like this. I honestly love it when people have a lot of things to say about my works. It makes me feel as though I've created something rich enough that it can be discussed.

like im so invested into this story and im just in awe of the level of literacy in the way u write and im kinda taking some notes and learning from u in a way??

Thank you so much for this...I think I can attribute this to me reading. I read almost every day, and I only read things that I enjoy.

also suddenly the few mentions of riki being 'cute and evil' compared to everyone else makes so much sense, and tbh i don't trust that he'd stay quiet abt those ss he's just gonna be bored and leak them after a while i feel like.

I sort of wanted to emphasize that anyone who would join the Karma Club would inherently be predisposed to doing horrible things for their own enjoyment. Also, as in real life, sometimes the nicest people can do horrible things. People are far more contradictory than we give them credit for. That being said, no spoilers on what he'll do with the screenshots. It's been fascinating to see the revulsion towards Riki's actions compared to what Jay has done to the MC.

if i may be honest, jay's a pussy lmao wdym you can't be wrong and admit you're not even half as bad as u thought lol anw he's going straight into the complicated men box. sorry that was me trying to cope w the fact that all of the progress jay and mc made was just gone like that and it's all back to square one now, i can't deal w that loss rn im fr mourning over it.

If it makes you feel any better, they aren't really at square one. Square one was Jay harassing her nonstop because he truly was disgusted by her, in as equal measure as he was fascinated by her. Like he said, he now doesn't even know if he hates her anymore. So even though it seems like they've gone to the beginning, this is new territory for both of them. Jay is a huge pussy, though. He calls Jake a pussy, but Jake has made more genuine attempts to get close to Y/N than him LOL

god i was dying for the mc to just get in there and ivestigate around BUT SHE DIDN'T im so pissed. jake's definitely shown some cracks in this part and i can't wait to see him be vulnerable to mc and be honest for once, he's hiding too much and i still don't trust him i can't lie.

It's good that you don't trust him. At that point, Heeseung had already told Y/N to just be nice to Jake, so she didn't want to bother him. Heeseung essentially told her that she was part of the reason why Jake relapsed, so she doesn't want to toe the line.

i don't think i have an opinion on heeseung yet other than he obviously cares for his members, or at least the kc's reputation, and has his bearings together enough to tell the mc straight up abt all of that. also jungwon.... why do i hear boss music.... LMAO but honestly the bit where it mentioned that he got shit on everyone combined w the ending had me clawing at the walls

No spoilers, but Jungwon will come into play. Something happened in the earlier part of birds of a feather that will have an effect on what happens in Part 3.

im gonna write this last paragraph in appreciation for the way you write morally gray characters, like just completely blown away by how complex and unpleasant they were written, and i mean unpleasant bc i fr know some ppl who'd act this way, it's bone chilling. granted not to the extent these characters are but it's still enough to take me back into the headspace and social circle in my younger years, just the deep regret crashing all over me again lol.

Thank you so much! And yeah, I definitely drew from my high school experience for some of this. The only other time I've ever done that is for Tired of What We Are, and I think you can see some of the parallels. Not to say that fluff is unnecessary (I do plan on writing something cute) but it's just fun to play round with people who are morally questionable, and who revel in their bad traits at times. Not so fun to experience it yourself, though.

thank u sm for writing this fic and all ur other fics, i know and i can tell when a writer has literacy in their heart ur up there w my forever favorites. can't wait to see it all unfolds and im hoping the mc have some sort of a good ending, fingers crossed

Thank you so so much. I took a long time to answer this because I wanted to keep this ask to myself. Whenever someone sends me a longer ask, I read it over and over again. I wanted to hold onto it for as long as possible. I really do love writing fics, and I'm grateful that people are willing to read them. Thank you for all of the kind words you've written, and for taking the time to read my fic!

[boxwinebaddie]

cfpom fight tier list GO!

HELP SDHLKSKHS BESTIE!!!! this made me laugh so much more than it should have oh my gooooood ( also the fact that y'all are also calling stan gang the cfpom like i do in pep is so cute to me i love u )

but ohhhhhh yes...this is my moment. i'm so ready, my friend. *cracks knuckles* i was born ready.

s

ok kenny is s tier obviously. like he has been swinging in these streets since he was six. like yeah...he's kind of malnourished, keeps fkn dying/coming back and isn't that bulky, but he has that survivor's strength, i would not fucks with kenny!!! he is STRONG! also he riles people up and gets into fights for fun. i feel like a kid was like "haha mccormick hows it feel to be poor and have no money" and kenny just punches him dead in the face and is like "idk how does it feel to be ugly and have a broken nose" sihdladl !!!!! king! he will leave u lying bloody in the street and go fuck ur mom ur dad and ur sister

a

ok i guess kyle is a...but he totally could be s. like if it's specifically involving cartman ( like half of kyles fights ) regards protecting the honor of sweet stanley marsh ( the other half of kyles fights ) or is rage boosted for some reason kyle is s. i feel like the only reason he would be a is he might need his inhaler and can't run that fast. BUT HE CAN PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY DESTROY YOU! the emotional devastation part is so powerful omg. ALSO HES GIGANTIC HOLY SHIT THAT ALONE IS TERRIFYING.

like 100% drunk kenny and rage boosted kyle as a team are both s. if i could pick the entire us army or k2 i would choose k2. like kenny will put you in the regular hospital and kyle will put u in the psychiatric hospital oof like....if i saw kenny and kyle and i didnt know how to run...ID LEARN HOW TO RUN REALLY FAST HELP

b-c

ok hear me out here me out....marjorine is b or c. like i know she is a sweet sugar pea but she is like 5'11. i think she sports a lot of 'ladies dont start fights -- but they do end them" :) <3

like lives on the side of pacifism most of the time but...if u randomly grab her ass i know she is knocking ur ass out with her purse. if u say something rude to her or her friends ur getting cracked so hard across the face ull need ur jaw rewired...like omg if someone said something to kenny i just knoooo hed be like marj just let it go its cool and shes like Kenneth Hold My Earrings :) absolutely DECIMATED! i swear she put that little rat man on her back and has never looked back

d

cartman is d....i guess. i hate you fartman. like he definitely built to be able to deliver and withstand blows like he is a fucking unit. but hes such a big spoiled baby. all bark no bite. he would definetely get his shit rocked in a fight. like he could get poked once and he'd start crying and running home to mommy ( me too...hey miss liane ;) ) but...but...unfortunately he is a better option in a fight then...

f

stan. god bless him. my sugar sweet pacifist crunchy granola boy angel. that entire exchange in chapter four where tolkien tells stan to hit him and he...literally cant. like it goes against everything he stands for. he is a nonviolence king, he cant hurt people im so!! AAAAA

also that part where when he tries to work up the nerve to punch tolkien he forms his fist wrong and puts his thumb inside so if he were to punch it would totally break his thumb upon impact...thats how little baby boy is fighting. the only things he's fighting are his demons, bisexuality and thinking unclean thoughts abt his bestie.

on the bright side...the entire cfpom would ride and die for stan and roll up on any motherfucker that fucked with stanley marsh. even cartman i feel like hes gotta rep the crew, u know? but like specifically kyle if you said something that hurt stans feelings OOOOOOOOOOOOOOF I WOULD START RUNNING BITCH! TELL UR MOM U LOVE HER BC IT WILL B THE LAST TIME!!!

it could be over stupid shit too bc stan is a cry baby like some diner employee just tells stan theres a stain on his shirt to be helpful and stans like :( this guy told me there was a stain on my shirt :( im so embarrassed :( i should go home i feel stupid n ugly and kyle stands on the booth like ALRIGHT COCKSUCKERS WHO TOLD STAN THERE WAS A STAIN ON HIS SHIRT HES FUCKING CRYING YOU HAVE FIVE SECONDS BEFORE I SET THIS WHOLE PLACE ON FIRE and stan is like no no no kyle its fine he was just being nice and hes like HE CAN BE NICE IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM

tadaaaaa~ this is it...this is the right answer. this ask was so real thank u oh my god haha

-uncle nina

[custer-mp3]

anyway unrelated to my need to slonk that old man's shit so thoroughly his guts come out

had another one of those incidents at work yesterday where some total normie chick shopping for some allegedly super-high-stakes occasion comes in & DEMANDS i--me, who has not worn women's clothing or ANY COLOR OTHER THAN BLACK for the last 20 years, who 9 times out of 10 when this is occurring is inevitably wearing dumpy dirty worn-out bagged-out faded stained ill-fitting work clothes AND I DO MEAN WORK CLOTHES, not "clothes i would wear to work" but "clothes i would paint the kitchen/clean out the crawlspace/change my oil in", THAT me--assemble her a head-to-toe outfit in a totally different style and will not take no for an answer, no matter how many times i point out

a) i'm not comfortable with that

b) i don't know how to do that

c) i have LITERALLY NO EXPERTISE & DEFINITELY DO NOT KNOW *THEIR* STYLE OR *THEIR* BODY OR *THEIR* LIFE

and it's just like. i am not fucking joking when i say i haven't worn anything other than black in 20+ years now. i don't understand how fashion works. i don't know how women's clothing works, or how things fit in the size on the tag vs bodies, cuz bodies are all so different & sizing is totally made up. and it just feels like a cruel joke every time; like i'm waiting for Ashton Kutcher to pop out & tell me i got Punk'd, especially cuz they always go on about how ~fashionable & trendy~ i am when i'm literally wearing shitty dirty work clothes that obviously look like shitty dirty work clothes.

ripley said maybe normies just confuse having a defined personal style with being good at fashion period, but it feels like......not that, idk

like maybe i'm just so used to being abused & treated like a zoo animal in public it feels malicious but it feels malicious, every time, especially cuz they'll always skip over my coworkers who are actually dressed cute to get to me & refuse to let me pass them off to a coworker who y'know. wears women's clothes & colors & has a basic understanding of how things go together.

i think about fashion a lot cuz obviously this one subset of goth fashion is one of my hobbies, which means thinking about my relationship to fashion/clothing & the social norms regarding it a lot, and i would 200% be lying if i said i didn't end up goth partially/significantly due to external circumstantial factors that kept me from learning or being taught How To Do Things Correctly & Normally, because it's a lot easier to understand how to put things together & look semi-presentable when every part of the outfit is black, like. you literally can't fuck that up.

my peers openly hated me & wouldn't socialize with me normally, my mom abandoned me, i didn't have older sisters in the home & my dad's been wearing the same clothes since the 1970s. i wasn't allowed to buy fashion magazines or shop from trendy retailers. there was no youtube, there was no social media, there was nobody to teach me. i never learned. goth was easier. goth was a no-brainer. i loved how it looked & wanted to be goth SO BAD as a kid, but then when it came down to it---the other option was so unfathomably unapproachable, this monolith of cultural/social knowledge i had no way of even beginning to comprehend...goth was easy.

so y'know. i'm almost 33 & haven't worn anything except black in over 20 years cuz i don't know how to dress myself otherwise, and yet i'm constantly harangued by locals who think "putting together a coherent (to their eyes) all-black outfit" is a transferrable skill to any style or type and i'm just. so tired

i gotta go to clock in now (literally in the back room @ work rn) & i'm just like. man.

still lowkey tripping out abt it ngl

[giuliano-fan-account]

Okmg happy halloween

I didn’t make this art to be on purpose for halloween but I mean it looks kind of like a halloween thing so i guess it is.

I was listening to Amygdalas Ragdoll and I was like holy crap its Retz from the Hunter x Hunter movie The Phantom Rouge.

 I feel like the only good things that the movies gave me were Kurapikas backstory & Pairo, Retz, and just how freaking ridiculous they were. 

In the second movie I think it would make more sense if like. The whole power system thing that was introduced which I think was called On would be this guy Jets Nen ability and he was just crazy enough that it made everybody think it was its own power system. Part of the Nen ability would be able to let others sign a Nen contract to obtain the same power that he has.

Anyways The Phantom Rouge is a lot better than The Last Mission in my opinion.

I freaking love Retz she has such wasted potential and I hate how much hate i’ve seen for him. I think its bc of shipping wars and urrrr uuurrgghhh errrrrr no. I don’t ship Retz with anybody and I don’t think I need to. Just shut the up and let Killua and Gon and Retz be friends!!!! 

It was really annoying but also really funny how Killua was so freaking pissy about Retz like. “Oh you’re standing up for yourself?? Oh?? Oh? Wel” 💥💥💥

I really like how Retz stood up for himself though instead of just having Gon doing it for her. It just shows that she's even more of an awesome character.

IM SO MAD THAT THEY KILLED HER OFF THOUGH but at least the fire scene was epic. The whole thing about Retz being a doll or whatever too was cool and also I wish that they did more with Omokage and Retz’s relationship as siblings. 

That’s another interesting thing that Killua and Retz could have gotten along over. Obviously Retz would probably be more open about talking abt his brother and Killua err... Yea I don’t think he would be very eager to talk about Illumi lol.

Omokage also could have been an awesome character but im sorry... HES SO FREAKING EDGY THAT I CANT. WHAT IS HIS CHARACTER DESIGN.

He looks like a Wizard 101 boss im not even lying... 

I want a better interpretation of his character. The ex-phantom troupe member is a cool concept and oh my god. The nen ability concept is great too. I love how creepy it is with the puppets and the eyes, but it could use some working out. I forgot how it worked, but the fact that he used the phantom troupe and Pairo was bizzare. 

His personality from what I remember is interesting too. He seems to want to protect Retz and have her be happy but he really is not doing a good job at that. Given that he uses people and puppets in his nen ability, and the fact that he is an ex-phantom troupe member obviously makes him cold-hearted. 

What about their parents too?? ahh I have to watch this movie again.

I think that his character was this way because it was in the movie, which is made of Non canon material, and these characters were only gonna exist in this like 90 minute movie so they weren’t going to be as deep or as memorable as the main characters or anybody in the main series. Retz did stick with me, though.  

Happy halloween if you celebrate it and if you dont have a good day tomorrow!! (I hate the abomination that i have created)

[vivacissimx]

The part where Viserra is opening up to Baelon, she says she does doesn't love Desmond, but that's not the truth tho is it?

To be honest with Baelon, she has to be honest with herself, which is something she doesn't want to do.

Does she love him?

Is it just a crush?

A comfort in pain?

Or just a momentary pleasure?

Also, Stupid headcanon of mine;

If SOME Maester writes abt Jaehaerys' reign in the future, And the part written abt Viserra, it's written as;

Though the princess Queen (King Baelon's queen) wed twice, her true love was always her Last Delena Fassoway Woolfield.

Hehe just a stupid headcanon😋

ITS NOT STUPID IT'S TRUE!!! VISERRADELENA HIVE ASSEMBLE

naur but being serious, delena is viserra's BEST girl. there's a really invaluable trust between two people who bonded together so young and lived parallel/relied on each other for years. it may not be quite so intense as the other relationships she has but yes, ldlh!viserra learned true friendship, devotion, and sexual pleasure with delena. so in many ways your headcanon is just facts. they're irreplaceable to each other.

onto desmond: she's lying to herself. yes, she loves the guy. ultimately the pivotal question for viserra came down to, a) stick around in white harbor as desmond's mistress out of love for him & because they could probably have a good life together--or b) follow her personal dreams/ambitions aka leaving him behind for king's landing. obviously she chooses the latter, and justifies it with the ol' "what happened between us was a weird brand new type of relationship that no one else has ever experienced & we invented, i'm not gonna linger on it, only we will ever understand what we meant to each other."

(lol. everyone has thought this about A Situation they're in at some point btw, it's just human)

what i wanted to stress in the fic is that there was an element there of her resenting needing him the way she did (to convince jaehaerys to bypass widow's law), because during their big argument he basically threw in her face that she needed him (once he became lord of white harbor, he would be in charge). so it took a lot out of her to ask anything of him. clearly she weaponized his guilt to do so rather than being mew mew big eyes pwetty pwease, but she's still a proud person. the situation upset her. their affair came at a strange time, with the both of them spooked by the knowledge that viserra would be departing soon and pushing them together in this last chance to indulge their unsaid feelings. i do think it weighed on viserra in her transition period, the horrible question of can i live without him, knowing deep down what he means to me?

so saying "i didn't love him" is more an affirmation of "i don't need him & i can live without him" than anything. in reality, they loved each other very much, and will always be quite special to each other.

thanks for the question! ❤

[ranboo5]

Particularly in the case of Philza like. Honestly fuck I've seen self professed Phil enjoyers blatantly ignore his months of grieving and introspection to say he doesn't do lore (so they can pretend his entire personality is haha feral man in all its classist glory and flatten him entirely into a 2D Chaos Gremlin to throw weird hybrid whump at and be weird abt emeralds) let ALONE Phil detractors

Philza is a man with a dead fucking son, a son whom he vividly obviously adores and who was suicidal and possibly in mortal danger and begging to be killed when Phil showed up and Philza had no way of knowing anything otherwise ahead of time, a son whom he couldn't grieve proper bc his ghost was hanging around making sure no one was able to move on in smth that I will diplomatically call one of the most writing choices ever, and whom he regrets granting the request of and whom he was out to avenge during Doomsday having realized the systemically fucked nature of L'Manberg and the mindsets it instilled and how those mindsets killed his goddamn child drove his child to that state

Philza having lost his wings in the explosion too trying to deal with a new impairment/injury that is also contributing to his passive suicidality that he exhibits Multiple Times (and no one notices AND NO ONE NOTICES) just adds to it more like this was clearly smth that was a notable part of his identity and coming to terms with losing that is a component

And then there's Ranboo w/ his clear parallels to Wilbur's last days w/ the promises and the spiraling and the Yeah Of Course I'll Be Careful! Of Course I'll Come To You For Help! <-he is lying despite Philza's best efforts, and there's Techno and the prison, and there's "everything I come near dies," and there's all the feelings of Wilbur being back and immediately running off and. Philza can't hold any of his loved ones down and he won't ever try but what can he do when he offers and offers and offers and he has to smile and let them run off even if it might just mean that he'll never see them again bc they promised, right, and he can't and won't take their right to choose and their autonomy from them, and god Philza Minecraft IS so brave... he's the bravest man I've ever met....

[lunaastoir]

cute things i think the genshin characters would do

characters included: diluc, kaeya, venti, and albedo 

****minor lore spoilers for diluc!****

an: i’m thinking of making this into a series bc this was such an adorable concept to write so lmk if you’re interested 👀 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

diluc 

sorry kind of starting off with something a little sad 

i think diluc would have a habit of rubbing his vision 

ok seems kinda dumb at first but let me elaborate: 

after the death of his father, diluc was quite obviously devastated 

he basically withdrew into himself after letting all the grief, pain, and rage flood his senses

i think during this time of grieving, he would’ve developed this habit of running the pads of his fingers across his vision to calm himself down 

(v similar to katara from atla) 

since his father had always been proud of diluc’s vision, the thought of touching something that reminded him of his father has always been able to bring him some sort of relief no matter how short lived

it serves as a constant memory of his dad and i think being able to have that kind of connection - no matter how small would hold a significance to him 

stressed? you’ll see his fingers dance across his vision as the crease between his eyebrows gradually loosens 

ok here’s a bonus habit (bc the previous one was sad) 

whenever he’s bartending at angel’s share, he always flips the bottles in this cool bartending way before pouring the drinks 

like the whole shabang - flips in the air, shakes it in a way that the drink foams just right 

people are usually v surprised when they see this bc woah mans has got some sKILLS 

but also bc he’s known for being pretty serious and reserved so seeing a “trick” is kind of breaking the stoic image they have of him 

after he’s done pouring the drinks he’s also really precise about closing the bottles 

he makes sure that the caps are on tightly and that nothing is leaking (which ig is another reason why he does flips with them so he can make sure that the bottles are tightly closed) 

yes he’s rich but he also wants to make sure the drinks don’t go bad bc 1) kind of a loss if they do and 2) his customers deserve the best 

sweet man pls protect him <3 

kaeya

when he’s sitting down at his desk, he brings his legs up so he can sit on his chair criss- cross applesauce 

since he’s in his office and the only other person who’s in there with him is jean, he feels like he can drop the suave, charming cavalry captain facade he puts on when he’s in public and just dial it down slightly to who he really is in that moment 

jean doesn’t say a word the entire time even tho she quite obviously notices 

don’t get me wrong, he’s still the smooth talking kaeya but just,,, more relaxed and comfortable?? if that makes sense 

so since he’s a lot more comfortable in his office, he usually folds his legs into his chair bc damn they hurt from walking around all day

this is kinda dumb but i also think he has a lot of ink stains on his hands from writing so whenever he sees a fresh one he just likes to stamp it onto a piece of paper 

usually that piece of paper ends up being an unimportant report that goes to jean 

dw he also has a bunch of pretty small towels in his bottom drawer that he uses to wipe his hands on bc the public can’t see the pretty cavalry captain w ink stains!! the world would end!! 

oH kind of a side note but i also think he would keep a small folded up picture of something klee drew him in his pocket 

he thinks it’s very sweet and he periodically takes it out just to look at it soft for this man 

last one for kaeya but since he wears boots that have the little lip on the bottom (not really a heel but enough to make some noise) he makes sure to always try his best to walk quietly around the streets of mondstadt at night 

if anyone catches him doing it he’ll wave it off and say something like “oh me? i’m just practicing my stealth - it comes in handy when you have to sneak up on enemies you know?” but in reality that’s just bs 

he really just doesn’t wanna risk waking people up <3 

venti

this adorable man is obviously notorious for drinking 

he loves alcohol!! i mean he’s the anemo archon of the city of wine and freedom so is anyone really surprised 💀

anyways venti always jokes abt not having any mora (he really doesn’t he’s not wrong) but he always makes sure to pay his tab at angel’s share 

the only reason diluc lets him drink sm is because at the end of the day, venti always comes through w the mora 

he really is a talented bard so everything he makes in singing and composing music for other people to listen to always goes straight to angel’s share (debatable if that’s for the best or not but i’ll leave that one to you) 

so yeah <3 basically venti pays back his tabs even tho he’s an archon since he doesn’t want people to experience a loss bc of him 

it’s the archon nature coming out but also the venti nature bc he’s a sweet boy 

anyways getting onto the actual habit 🕺

he has a tendency to skip/hop regardless of wherever he’s going 

he uses his anemo elemental skill a lot while doing this just he can feel a light breeze whenever he skips around 

i also think he carries around extra bard strings in his hat bc he thinks it’s a cool party trick to take them out and be like tada i have extra strings no need to worry!!! 

people are usually not that amused but he does it anyway 

also yeah uh those strings sometimes fall out when he’s skipping 💀 

he’ll be hopping and suddenly bOOM they fall out, he loses them, a kitten by the name of prince takes them, and he has to ask for help to find his strings (i believe this is exactly how venti lost his strings to prince during the windblume festival and no i will not take any criticism and if venti says something different he is lying 🔪)

also has a habit of putting his hair into a bun sometimes!!! 

he loves his pigtails but he finds that he gets bored of them occasionally and his hair needs a break from its wavy tresses so he just plops it into a bun instead 

so so cute 10/10 hairstyle he can do my hair 

anyways love this man thanks for coming home <3 

albedo

i had a feeling i would kind of have a hard time w albedo since he is a little hard to read so i hope this is ok LMFAO 

he has paint stains. everywhere. no you cannot change my mind. 

they are subtle tho i will give him that 

you can’t notice that anything is amiss until you really pay attention and then you’ll start to see the pretty pastels and greens of the sunset he was painting up on dragonspine softly smeared across his clothes 

very rarely you’ll see a cute swipe of paint across his cheek or neck and it’s honestly adorable 

he was probably pushing his hair out of his face while he was painting and some excess paint on his finger landed on his cheek :,) 

he doesn’t really care tbh he thinks it’s just a part of him and it really isn’t that noticeable so he just leaves it 

also!!! since he is a big alchemist and he’s constantly working on labs and experiments i think he would accidentally misplace a lot of his written work 

he seems very organized but w someone as intellectual as him w his brain running miles a minute, i’m sure he has definitely forgotten where he’s put stuff away 

so!! in order to help him remember, he has little notes across his lab detailing where everything is 

if he was working on something and he immediately has to put it on hold bc something came up (klee came in demanding attention or sucrose needs help) then he’ll quickly jot down a note and stick it to his desk so he’ll remember when he comes back just in case he forgets 

sucrose as a result has noticed A LOT of notes across the lab and it’s simultaneously funny and endearing 

“started experiment with sweet flowers to try and turn them into a youth elixir: papers --> on the desk right next to klee’s photo” 

final point: he lets klee braid his hair sometimes if she wants to 

she doesn’t really know how given how young she is so she ends up messing up but albedo always walks her patiently through the steps again 

always makes time for klee no matter what bc he really does care a lot abt her :,) 

i love him sm pls 

[dr3amofagame]

Dream thought that he can bring server together, he thought that they can be one big family... Well at least he really bond them, even if they bonded to fight against him. Even if that mean he's not part of this server anymore.

right,, the one big happy family thing always destroys me

bc it’s really the driving force behind everything he’s done, the reason why he’s cut off everything he’s ever loved, moved forwards despite everything he’s ever lost. it doesn’t make what he does right, by any means, but c!dream’s longing for a better past, his clinging to a family he loved and lost - it’s so desperately, painfully human and is very much the cherry on top of his whole tragic story. it’s something that tugs at my heart every time i think about it - especially how in the end, pretty much nobody knew what drove him to the lengths he went to, and how everyone still sees him as being motiveless, or doing it all for personal gain and power. it’s reasonable, with their limited povs, but oh man does it hurt when we know his real reasoning.

this,, ended up weirdly long haha but oh man was it fun. have some dream team angst as i cry abt c!dream for the millionth time 

tws: death, grief, off-screen murder, implied mental deterioration

Two weeks after Dream dies, Sapnap asks George if he wants to come to the vault.

He almost says no. It’d be an early journey if they want to get out without anyone seeing, and he’s just- tired. He’s been tired for months even though he spends most of his time sleeping, usually can’t even find the energy to pull himself out of bed. The weird dreams hadn’t helped in the slightest, though they’ve been gone for a few weeks, and he’s not seen XD in a long time, save for a few minutes after he first heard the news. In all honesty, he doesn’t want to deal with the mental strain of anything to do with Dream at all.

But- Sapnap is still his best friend, even if they’ve grown apart ever since that fateful night with Dream, and he still knows the Netherborn better than nearly- well, everyone, now, with Dream gone. As much as Sapnap tried to put on a strong front, Dream’s death had taken its toll.

Killing Dream had taken its toll.

He’d been asleep (again) when it all went down, but he knows that somehow, Dream had escaped prison. Somehow, it ended with Sapnap’s sword stabbed hilt-deep in Dream’s chest, an unmarked grave in the forest behind the Community House that he knows Sapnap visits when he thinks nobody’s watching.

So when Sapnap asks, dark bags under his red-rimmed eyes, if he wants to come with him to see what belongings they can find in Dream’s old blackstone-brick vault- he says yes.

“There,” Sapnap gestures over the crest of a netherrack cliff above a bubbling lava lake, and George strains to look at what the other is pointing at. There, settled over a small outcrop of netherrack and gravel, a messy bridge of various blocks leading from it, lies the signature black and purple silhouette of a nether portal. “It’s just across that.”

George hums in acknowledgement, and they clamber down in sync. It’s been a while since he’s spent time one-on-one with Sapnap like this; George had half-forgotten what it feels like, to work with someone so different and yet know them so well. Years and years of teamwork means they fall in step almost without thinking, Sapnap easily sliding forward to block a skeleton’s arrow while George nocks one of his own to shoot it through the skull. It is a partnership built on years of bickering and banter and deep-set trust, of having to face a stronger, more agile opponent together through wind and rain and snow.

He missed it, though he’ll never admit that to anyone but himself.

He hesitates in front of the nether portal, pulling Sapnap back automatically by his sweater sleeve. “You sure the other side is safe?”

“Yeah, yeah- it should be,” Sapnap pulls his arm away, lets him enter the portal first before stepping into the frame himself. “Not a manhunt.”

“Mm,” George laughs, tired. “Just checking.”

The portal hums, purple creeping into the corners of George’s vision and filling it until it’s all he can see, and he rubs at his eyes to clear his vision as he stumbles out the other side. Sapnap walks out, seeming unfazed - it’s always been something that George has envied in the other, how unaffected he is by portals, but he’s also always had worse portal sickness than most- “We’re here.”

The place is - put lightly, a wreck, wooden planks scattered all over the floor and inch-deep water sloshing around his shoes. “What’s with the water?”

“I don’t know, someone must’ve come here after for something,” Sapnap frowns, points across the room to a chute leading upwards, filled with a crude spiral staircase of oak. “We’re going up there.”

George nods, letting him take the lead. The staircase is rickety, the bottom steps waterlogged; Sapnap grimaces the whole way up, makes some comment under his breath about how unsafe it all is, but they continue without much issue. The top of it is surprisingly unassuming - there’s really nothing around, just a small hollowed out space carpeted by savannah grass, shorn short. Sapnap tosses him a pickaxe.

“He respawned up here, that day - he’s gotta have a bed up here somewhere.” He gestures at the plain stone walls surrounding them, “My guess is that it’s just behind one of these walls. Just mine two or three blocks in all the way across, I’ll start from this side.”

“Whatever, Snapnap,” George takes the pickaxe anyway, walking over to the other side of the room and ignoring the protests Sapnap throws at his back. Mining the stone is simple, methodical; it’s a steady rhythm of the pick hitting stone and blocks falling into his inventory; if he closes his eyes, he can almost pretend that they’re in the middle of a manhunt, and Dream has holed himself into the wall as he always does for them to find him. He doesn’t, because thinking about manhunt does nothing but make something cold and choking claw up his throat, almost like guilt, almost like regret, and he doesn’t have the energy for that in the slightest.

His next swing rings oddly hollow, and when the block drops neatly away the wall opens to a narrow corridor. He calls Sapnap over.

“Here.” Sapnap moves with large, heavy strides, face tightening into a foreign expression of grim determination when he catches the darkness behind the one-block hole George mined, “I found it.”

“Well, obviously,” he rolls his eyes as he takes out the bottom block, looking at George from the corner of his eye. “Nice observation, genius.”

“Hey! You told me to find it, and I did, unlike you- you should be thanking me, Sapnap.”

“Whatever, Gogy,” Sapnap sighs, looking into the corridor, feet settling against the ground into a wide stance that George recognizes as the one he’d usually use in a fight. It makes something long-forgotten ache in his chest, joining the dull ball of hurt that has been there for what feels like months, “You ready?”

“Yeah, yeah, hurry up, will you?” The retort rings hollow, dying on his lips even as he says it, and George watches as Sapnap turns his head away and pretends not to notice.

“Let’s go.”

The hallway is dark, dusty, a hastily made thing as shown by the rough gouges made on either side by a quickly working pickaxe. It opens into a tiny room, similarly carved into the mountain with roughhewn walls of stone; George’s lips thin and press against each other as he takes a closer look at the room, stepping in behind Sapnap.

“This place is a mess,” he states drily, scuffing his foot against the floor and cringing at the trail it leaves in the dust. There’s a bed left in the corner, a thin little thing with the covers thrown off, lying halfway on the floor, and a few chests and furnaces scattered aimlessly against the walls and making the whole thing look more cramped. There are papers strewn over the floor and chests, piles of coal and wood left to collect dust in the corners. It looks like a whirlwind swept through the place, and it’s almost eerie to see this room, completely untouched since the twentieth, a snapshot in time of Dream in the middle of his spiral into madness.

Sapnap kicks at one such pile with a humorless scoff, “That’s an understatement.”

“You looking for anything in particular?” George jabs his thumb at the mess in front of them, “Because I’m not cleaning all of that up.”

“I guess- just look through the chests?” Sapnap’s face darkens visibly even despite the dim lighting, and George stifles the urge to poke fun at how the younger clearly didn’t plan this far ahead, per usual. “Just look for anything useful, worth taking back I guess.”

“Mmhm.” He moves to the left-most chest as Sapnap moves to the right, watching from the corner of his eye as the other strikes up a torch to place in the middle of the room. The lid creaks open, and he rummages through the contents, vaguely surprised when his hand meets row after row of glass bottles. He pulls one out, squints at the contents. “Hey Sapnap, is this a regen?”

Sapnap looks over. “Yeah,” he says, rolling his eyes when George pockets it. “Seriously- you know Sam literally has an automatic potion brewer, right. You can just steal from that instead.”

“Or I could just steal from here,” he closes the lid, moving to the next chest. “That’s just his pots chest. He really stacked up, didn’t he?”

“Well, you know Dream. Always had to plan for the end of the world.” Sapnap closes the chest that he was hunched over, tossing over something in a flash of gold, “Was just his food chest. Don’t know why someone needs eight stacks of gapples, but whatever. We can split the god apples later.”

“Sure,” George nods, distracted as he fiddles with clasp of the next chest. This one, unlike the last, seems more worn over the bottom edge of the lid, the wood almost seeming to bear dents where fingers had pressed into the areas right by the clasp again and again. The lid eases open, and he frowns at the chest’s contents; there’s no rhyme or reason to them at first glance. There’s a half-stack of stone in the top left, a couple pieces of leather thrown in the bottom corner, a low-durability crossbow, unenchanted, that he briefly runs his hands over before throwing it back into the chest. He rummages through it for another second, about to dismiss it as a junk chest, when a well-worn book near the back of the chest catches his eye.

He pulls it towards him with careful hands, breath having caught in his throat. The cover is leather, scuffed and scratched in several places, not bearing the dull shine of a book that’s been signed and preserved magically. It doesn’t seem to be titled, no ink against the usual places on the front cover or spine, but the whole thing looks well-loved, the thread of the spine slightly frayed the leather heavily creased from where the cover had been eased open again and again.

He opens the front cover, and sucks in a breath through his teeth.

“Sapnap? I think I found something.”

There, nestled between the front cover and the first page, lays a pile of photographs. Unlike everything else in the room, these are clearly well-loved, well-cared for, the corners are sharp, the surfaces shiny, despite how often they must have been thumbed through and looked at. He plucks the first one off the top of the pile - it’s one that was taken from the inside of the old community house before the floor was replaced with crafting tables, string lights hanging from the ceiling in an impromptu party, Alyssa’s legs dangling from where she’s sitting at the edge of the spiral staircase, Callahan leaning against the wall with a slice of cake held between his hands. Sapnap’s sitting in the middle of the floor across from himself, both of their faces glowing softly in the flickering light - his own face is caught in a grimace, Sapnap bent over himself in laughter- Sapnap walks up behind him, gasps at the sight.

“What are-”

George passes over the photo wordlessly as he moves to the next; there’s Sam, grinning at the camera with a newly tamed Fran by his side, tail a white blur against the green of the grass; Bad, hands clutched around a bucket as he yells at someone off the frame, a salmon head poking slightly out the top; Ponk, sitting proudly in the top branches of his first lemon tree.

His breath catches at the next; it’s dim, the sky a pretty blend of purple-pink from the last remaining dregs of light of a sunset, hovering over the dark edge of the ocean stretching out towards the horizon. They’re sitting in boats, the bottom edges lit softly from the coral sitting in the shallow waters below them, brilliant halos of reds and pinks and yellows and oranges and blues dotted with the soft lights of sea pickles painting the wood in muted rainbows. Sapnap’s smiling from one in the back, head tipped to the side cheekily, right hand lifted in a cocky two-fingered salute. George is sitting in the back of a boat in the foreground, glasses lifted to his forehead, eyes mid-roll even as he grins obligingly at the camera-

And then, in the front, there’s Dream.

His mask is pulled to the side of his face, exposing his freckled skin and brilliant green eyes; he’s smiling widely, all teeth, hair wet and sticking up in a ring of untamed swirls and spikes. His eyes are crinkled at the corners, cheeks red, arm stretched forward off-frame from where he’d held the camera in front of them to take the selfie. George’s thumb brushes over the photo, pressing lightly against the dusty mess of hair framing Dream’s face, pausing at the sight of his pure, unadulterated joy.

What had happened to them?

A soft, choked sound comes from behind him, and George tucks the photos away, pressing them between two random pages in the book. His eyes flicker to the book’s contents, finally, finding Dream’s familiar, looping scrawl written on the first page. The words are big and messy, all capitalized and underlined several times, the last four circled roughly.

REMEMBER WHY YOU’RE DOING THIS: ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY.

He snaps the book shut.

“George-”

“Let’s go home, Sapnap.” He throws one last look at the room, at the messy, desperate edges, the remnants of a man lost in his own reckless belief that he could build something beautiful out of blood and ash. He swallows, blinks back the image of a brilliant smile, freckled cheeks ruddy with laughter, at the golden glow of memories long-forgotten that threaten now to burn him with their warmth. He can imagine Dream, settled in the middle of this mess, pressing himself closer to the fire contained in these photographs, these memories, and not realizing how he’s being burned, can nearly see a ghost of him tucked in these shadowed corners, haunting the hopes that he had clung to against all reason with the promise that it could all be worth it.

Sapnap frowns at him tiredly, photos pressed against his own chest. “George,” he says, cautious, and George’s shoulders hunch defensively.

“Let’s go home,” he stands up, hearing more than seeing as Sapnap does the same. “Whatever closure you’re looking for- you’re not finding it here.”