#obviously overlap with theme of identity

[raayllum]

Change

+ Bonus

[edwardwonghaupepelutivrusky4th]

technically if it's not simmered in the champagne region of france it's a sparkling best boy friend

[lcatala]

Inspired by this post by @thanergetic-hyperlinks, I present to you

Tessellations of the Nine Houses

(Or "I can't really draw figurative art so my Locked Tomb fanarts are geometrical vector drawings")

"A tessellation or tiling is the covering of a surface, often a plane, using one or more geometric shapes, called tiles, with no overlaps and no gaps." — Wikipedia.

Making tilings themed after each necromantic House seems obvious: for each House you pick a tile with the same number of sides as the number of the House; but this does present some challenges for some of the Houses.

note 1: this might give the impression that I first decided on the symbols and then found patterns to match them in a very organized and motivated manner; in practice it was much more chaotic and multidirectional, the patterns informing the symbols as much as the symbols informed the patterns; this is fine since symbolism is entirely associative and arbitrary anyway

note 2: I added alt-texts for all the images, but I have no idea of how to properly describe abstract geometric art; if you feel you can do a better job than I did, feel free to put your fingers where your mouth is--wait, hang on-- I mean feel free to provide better descriptions if you can

note 3: looking forward to the geometry nerds explaining to me how I got basic geometric details wrong, friggin nerds

The First House

The First House seems obvious, as a shape with one side is an ellipse (of which the circle is a special case). There's just one problem: ellipses do not tile the plane. No matter how much you stretch them and deform them, the very nature of ellipses means you'll always have gaps or overlaps.

So we cheat and we work with overlaps: turns out there is a history of tilings that use circles as a construction pattern, then turn the overlapping sections into the actual tiles. Such patterns have been used extensively in European and Middle Eastern art, and have also been associated with the New Age movement, so it fits Jod's style perfectly. And so we get this:

The different cells correspond to different House colors, with the resulting gothic stained-glass appearance quite in line with the Roman Catholic Empire vibe Jod is going for. The overlapping circles convey the intricacy of the relation between the First House and the eight other, both autonomous from it yet intrinsically part of it.

The Second House

There's a variety of geometrical shapes that have two sides, but most of them don't tile the plane, altho there is one that does — if we take a crescent shape and slightly thicken it so that the inner and outer curves are identical, we can do this:

The waving pattern is of course evocative of the flag of conquest which the Cohorts of the Second House have planted on many worlds.

The Third House

With the Third House things get a lot easier, because equilateral triangles are one of the three regular polygons (where all sides are the same length and all angles are identical) that tile the plane all by themselves without needing any other shape! Which however doesn't mean we have to be boring; we can have a little bit of fun:

Flowers for the beauty and ionizing radiation warning signs for the rancid vibes.

The Fourth House

Squares are the second regular polygons that tile the plane by themselves, so again our job is easy here, altho we still want to not go for the easiest option in order to be able to work in some symbolism:

The four big navy squares with a small white square at the center of course evoke the number five and the shadow of the Fifth House's regency over the Fourth.

The Fifth House

Regular pentagons do not tile the plane, so we have to use a more unusual shape — there are many options, but obviously we want to again pick one that offers some interesting numerical symbolism:

The cross-like patterns of course bring up the number four and the hold of the Fifth House over the Fourth. As for the crosses themselves and the fact that they appear to be made of wooden stakes, well uh… Abigail Pent, Vampire Hunter??? She does have Van Helsing vibes.

The Sixth House

Hexagons are the third and last regular polygons that tile the plane on their own. But this is the Sixth House we're talking about, things need to look orderly but in a convoluted way. So how about multiple levels of recursion:

The apparent complexity of the pattern is created by different orientations of a small number of elements, either 3 irregular hexagons, or 1 patterned regular hexagonal tile, depending on how you look at it, in line with the kind of hermetic scientism one imagines the Sixth House indulges in. The result is those apparent three-dimensional elements and emerging higher-order patterns, including that of ꙮ, the Multiocular O found in exactly one word of one 15th century Old Church Slavonic translation of the Book of Psalms ("серафими многоꙮчитїй" many-eyed seraphim).

The Seventh House

Regular heptagons do not tile the plane, but they don't need much tweaking to work, which is fine since for the Seventh House we want something deceptive yet simple (deceptively simple? deceptive in its simplicity?):

Hearts for the beauty, snake scales for the poison [the Seventh House is on Venus, the planet named after the Roman Goddess of love, but etymologically "Venus" is actually the same root as "venom", and of course "Septimus" resembles "septic" — tho in that case there's no etymological connection, it's just a happy coincidence].

The Eighth House

Octagons do not tile the plane, but they come pretty close, so we can give the Eighth House a simple, stern, but slightly threatening pattern:

Boring sterile bleached temple mosaic, with just a little bit of passive-agression, a perfect fit for Evangelical Christians Tumblr puritans the Eighth House.

The Ninth House

And so we reach the Ninth House. Now the thing about the Ninth House is that, even by imperial standards, they're huge freaks, like they're completely unhinged heretical weirdoes. So, when it comes to their tiling, we need to get weird, like, a lot weirder than we've been so far, and this will require some context, so get ready because now we're officially going on a wild tangent.

So far all the tilings we've seen were periodic. That is, they were drawing a pattern that repeats itself indefinitely in all directions.

But starting in the 1960s, mathematicians began to study aperiodic tilings, tilings that don't repeat; you can keep expanding them forever and never exactly find back the original pattern you started with. The first mathematical proof of such a pattern was made in 1964 and theoretically required 20,426 distinct tile prototypes… This was soon refined to just 104 tile prototypes, then a mere 40. By 1971, it was mathematically demonstrated that you could make such a pattern with just 6 tile prototypes.

Except that was a lie.

Note that I said mathematically demonstrated. As it turns out there was an aperiodic pattern with just 5 tile prototypes, known as Girih, that had been used in Islamic art… since at least the 13th century — but it had historically been treated merely as an element of architectural design, and its mathematical properties weren't studied until 2007.

Then in 1973 this guy Penrose came along and demonstrated you could make an aperiodic tiling with just 2 tile prototypes. So now the goal was to find the ultimate aperiodic tiling, the one that would use only one tile prototype. Given how fast the field had progressed so far, it seemed that this discovery was imminent.

It took 50 years.

Not only that, but it was the work of amateur mathematician David Smith who accidentally discovered a 13-sided polygon that could make an aperiodic tiling all by itself (he then had his discovery checked by and co-authored a paper with a number of professional mathematicians).

EXCEPT THAT WAS A LIE AGAIN.

In turns out an aperiodic tiling using only one tile prototype had already been found… in 1936. But since the study of aperiodic tilings only started in the 60s, its significance in that domain wasn't understood at the time. It was seen as significant, but for an entirely unrelated reason: it was the first demonstration of a polygonal shape that needed only two copies of itself to completely enclose the original one — many mathematicians before that point thought the minimum possible was 3 (think of the Triforce from Zelda, with one equilateral triangle completely enclosed between three other identical triangles).

And coincidently, that shape happens to be a highly-irregular nonagon [yes "enneagon" is """technically""" more correct but "nonagon" has been used since the 17th century and is more common and it has Nona in it and Nona loves you]. So here it is, the Voderberg tiling, the freakish freakish tessellation of the Ninth House:

Like you see this and you're like "what is this, what is that thing, that's not a tiling, what the fuck is that" — but it is, it is a tiling, you can keep adding the freaky polygon and it keeps expanding outward forever, with no gap, no overlap, and with an ever-changing pattern. A double-spiral radiating outward, for Anastasia and Samael, Anastasia and Alecto, Alecto and Harrowhark, Harrowhark and Gideon.

And if you were thinking that this last one must have been significantly harder to draw than the other ones, you would be correct.

[lucabyte]

i'm so curious about your character gender reads now tho 👀👀

(You enter the kitchen and see me, eating shredded cheese out of the fridge by the handful)

(I turn around to face you.)

Hi. Do you want me to sell you on amab NB Siffrin? I'm going to try and sell you on amab NB Siffrin. And maybe even a little bit of tranfem siffrin and/or loop. as a treat. just for you.

So, (I put the cheese back in the fridge.)

This read of mine comes from a number of things, a lot of them to do with the game's themes, and to do with Siffrin being a narrative foil to the other characters. And Vaugarde as a whole.

(READMORE WARNING: THIS IS LIKE 6K WORDS LONG. YOU ALL SHOULD KNOW BY NOW I DON'T MAKE POSTS WITHOUT UNCONSCIOUNABLE AMOUNTS OF EVIDENCE AND EXPLANATION. IF ANYTHING I'M BEING RESTRAINED HERE. THUMBS UP.)

(Pre-readmore note: this is in response to me having given an analysis of how I personally percieve Sifloop in relation to asexuality and shipping. Which you can look at here. (x))

It is however, not what my like, no-holds-barred no-rules just-for-me headcanon for Siffrin would be. (which is intersex 'head empty no thoughts' siffrin, for the record). This is instead my close-reading-of-the-text-and-themes interpretation of Siffrin. This is why I'm gonna be saying Read and not Headcanon, to distinguish the two. (Anything I consider a little bit too much of a stretch vis a vis interpretive hard reads I will call a headcanon. But those are for the last bit of this post.)

Unlike *gestures at mass media* All That… ISAT is already packed to the gills with queer rep, to the point where I feel no need to grasp at straws and make overextended reaches into obviously unintended subtext. Like with, y'know, most media. Since here, the subtext isn't unintended. Like this isn't a Transfem Metal Sonic or Aroace Ash Ketchum situation where I know none of the evidence is on purpose and I'm just having fun making a conspiracy theory pinboard out of it. This is like… There's intentionality there. And I want to engage with it on its level, see what the text itself suggests. It's my personal preferred method of expressing deep respect to a text. (Not that it has to be anyone else's, obviously. This is just my way of showing I love a work.)

So yeah, I am, in general, very interested in hearing hard-fought arguments when it comes to interpreting texts. I'm glad ISAT has a lot to pick at here, and so, I will. (and since not a lot of texts ever have anywhere near this kind of depth in this arena, i don't wanna squander it… i'll try and keep my own biases as in check as i can, and already have done by hashing quite a bit of this interpretation out with two people of very different gender identities to mine. To put it mildly, binary-aligned or transfem I am very squarely Not.)

(Now that the cheese bag has been removed from the equation, I drop this framing device, sit you down at the table and begin to dredge up evidence from below it.)

Okay, so. What are my like… Core reasonings here? I think I can split it into three categories. Broadly, with an amount of overlap, so bear with me…

SIFFRIN AS A FOIL AND CONTRAST TO MIRABELLE, ISABEAU AND THE CHANGE RELIGION AS A WHOLE.

SIFFRIN'S HABITS OF CLINGING TO 'KNOWN QUANTITIES', SCAPEGOATS, AND THEMES OF RACIAL IDENTITY INTERSECTING WITH GENDER IDENTITY.

SIFFRIN, LOOP, DE-PERSONING, DEHUMANISING, APATHY AND SURVIVAL.

Okay so up top I'm going to split my argument for Siffrin's gender identity Present and Future here. This means, for now, I'm arguing for AMAB NB Siffrin alone. The transfem stuff is for later (and more for loop, in my mind, too).

I have a few direct observations of the text here that set things up. Here are the things in-game that make me assume that Siffrin, as of the start of the game, has not yet undergone any radical change to their identity in their life. Not on purpose, at least. These are ordered in a messy but logical flow, so uh, try and keep up. I'll synthesise at the end. I Prommy.

SIFFRIN AS A FOIL AND CONTRAST TO MIRABELLE, ISABEAU AND THE CHANGE RELIGION AS A WHOLE.

CHANGE & THE UNIVERSE: PERCEIVED OPPOSITES

When interacting with most objects in the Changing Room in the house, they express a genuine curiosity toward body craft. It seems they are legitimately unfamiliar with it on a deeper level than having simply heard of it.

Despite this curiosity (explicitly stating they've previously wondered about it), they dismiss it as too much work early on in the game. These points combined seem to suggest to me that they have never previously sought out any kind of real change to their appearance or identity. Either for gender reasons, or other body dysmorphia reasons. (Which, despite the dismissal, they do refer to their body as a 'meat prison', which is not particularly positive) However...

This changes in Act 3. In acts 3 and 4 they flatly state: "You're thinking about crafting your body. You seem to have all the time in the world now." While still never spoken aloud, their declining mental state corrosponds with a worn-down, almost nihilistic reckoning with the feelings they masked with the 'meat prison' joke in act 2.

[Image: Interactions with the change craft textbook in acts 2 and 3/4.]

In talking to Mirabelle, they are very self assured that one can stay the same/be comfortable with their born identity. They also seem a little unsettled by the change religion's flippancy in general, which makes sense, as they have been clinging to the famliar (even when painful) to cope with other traumas. (More on this later, section 2)

The Universe Faith appears to heavily disincentivise Wanting for oneself and other expressions of Free Will due to safeguarding against Wish craft. This seems to have impacted Siffrin's mental state majorly, even if they do not recognise it. The followers of the faith are (if Siffrin is to be believed) incentivised to 'go with the flow' and take paths of least resistance, and those that DO make big decisions will tend to justify things as being The Universe's Will. (See: The King's entire Modus Operandi, and the way Loop (and Siffrin) do the same rote actions, constructing worldviews (the play analogy, the Universe's Will) and justify that as what the Universe Would Want (despite a total lack of evidence to prove as such)) As such, it seems as if a follower of this faith as neurotic as Siffrin would be unlikely to act upon any Wants to Change Themselves without a lot of turmoil and backwards-justification. (Of note, Loop's forcible change coinciding with a dropping of pronoun. But that is again for later, section 3) As of the start of the game, they do not appear to have broached this kind of turmoil directly.

[Image: Act 5 interaction with the star journal, emphasis on it being a cautionary tale against reckless usage of wish craft, instilled so deeply to be a children's bedtime story]

Siffrin, in act 5, grows frustrated with both The Universe and The Change God, feeling abandoned by the former. They struggle with simultaneously anthropomorphising the Universe as a cruel onlooker, while also seemingly acknowledging them as a cold, almost scientific fact of nature. This would heavily imply that the 'blame' put upon the Universe by Siffrin in these moments is known to them, at least a little, to be potentially meaningless. It seems that somewhere in Siffrin's belief system is something, be it the core or merely a creeping worry, that the Universe is not a thinking, feeling, thing. And thus that their invocations of "The Universe's Will" are merely rationalisations of random chance and consequence. This is in DIRECT contrast to the Change God, proven to be an emotive sapient entity, who merely refuses to offer a helping hand. (Similar sentiments are, too, spoken by the Change God itself.)

[Images: Interacting with the window in the observatory in act 5, text from the change god meeting]

So. These are the bulk of my observations when it comes to how Siffrin is positioned in contrast to the Change Belief. It would seem to be that Siffrin, inkeeping with their role as an outsider, is a complete fish out of water in Vaugarde's change-centric world. This makes sense! It makes them a compelling foil to the Vaugardians in our cast, and allows the Vaugardians to challenge Siffrin's worldviews merely by existing. It also, more importantly, makes Siffrin an interesting lens through which to inspect our two most Change-driven characters. Mirabelle and Isabeau.

MIRABELLE.

Mirabelle and Siffrin's differing faiths are put on display the most frequently. Interactions like the circle key and the party's disbelief of Siffrin's facts about the stars make this clear. These interactions other Siffrin from the group further, and are another avenue through which Siffrin can ignore their own needs, not communicating with the party and allowing them to dismiss things he deems important.

Obviously, the friendquest is primarily about Mirabelle's struggle with her aromanticism and asexuality. But there's an implicit undercurrent of gender there too. Mirabelle has never made a big change, not like Isabeau. She has never 'changed completely', by her words. And Siffrin distinctly finds this an odd thing to be worried by. Whatever culture he carries has no pressure to explore these avenues, it seems. Siffrin is able to help her by sharing their honest opinions, that he's never felt the need to change these things, and he's happy (allegedly). Why should she?

[Image: Mirabelle's friendquest text] Siffrin is not thinking particularly hard when he first does the friendquests, they are just being themselves. By positioning Siffrin as this unchanged yet confident object, they are in the perfect position to help Mirabelle by being in her almost exact position, both sexuality and transgender status (albeit, with the caveats of potential alloromanticism, and a they pronoun), that they become her ideal foil. (And in fact, the subtle differences between their positions in canon add to this, showing a display of Perceived Genuine Truth, rather than simple in-group camaraderie)

Whereas…

ISABEAU.

When Mal du pays speaks as Isabeau, it says the following;

"I don't want to know someone who won't even try to change, who luxuriates in things staying the exact same like you do."

I don't want to know someone - Shame of being known, that's Isabeau's insecurity. Reflected back at Siffrin, who has become the worst thing imaginable to each of their friends, in Siffrin's own mind. He absorbs their insecurities like a sponge and incorporates them into himself. Empathy turned ill.

Who luxuriates in things staying the exact same - Now THAT'S interesting. This is not Isabeau's insecurity, it's Siffrin's own. But also, it appears as if, Siffrin, whom to Mirabelle was unflappable in that not changing was alright, has internalised some of her worry. That it is MDP's Isabeau saying this, though, shows this is about Personal Change, perhaps even Specifically Gender and Self Image, rather than Mirabelle's spiritual side.

Isabeau and his distinct change in personality and gender, to become someone who he actually likes… Diametric to Siffrin, who has been stagnant for a long time, presumably as far as they can remember. It would seem to imply they have no recourse against this argument. Siffin becomes, in his mind, the opposite to Isabeau, a man he deeply admires the bravery of when told the story of his Change. These are Siffrin's words against themselves, that they consider themselves to have never even 'tried' whatever it is they think Change to be.

So. These are my main points vis a vis: Siffrin as a foil. This reading would posit that Siffrin's He/They status is, well, almost accidental? Which I would imagine befitting of them. They are, at the start of the game, still the mysterious rogue who never elaborates upon anything. They aren't going to be correcting a they/them from a teammate who is likely far more cautious about assumptions.

Notably, Mirabelle excludes Siffrin from the label "man" in the bathroom monologues… But as does Siffrin when in the prologue poem room. Though one needs remember, Siffrin only expresses these thoughts internally.

[Image: Bathroom conversation featuring Isabeau identified as the party's singular man]

[Image: Prologue!Siffrin expressing that they are not a man in very certain terms.]

While I do wonder what Mirabelle's knowledge (or lack thereof, potentially! Did Siffrin actually divulge this to her, once? Or is she making assumptions again?) is here, this is pretty clear evidence that Siffrin doesn't see themselves As A Man. (that, and Adrienne's word of god "fella" comments). I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this… but.

The thesis here is, that Siffrin may want to explore their gender further; doesn't feel connected to Masculinity, and yet, keeps that He pronoun around? Well, the Universe does not, in Siffrin's mind, really allow for personal wants and desires. If their friends start they/themming them, then cool. They like it, but never requested it, so it's the Universe's will. But, asking? Making decisions and requests and rocking the boat? That seems to scare Siffrin a lot. It seems to scare them so much it causes a lot of, if not all of, the conflict in the game. I feel like it's a fair deduction that this aversion to humour their own desires pervades a lot of their existence.

Plus, I think there's meat there. By only allowing Siffrin to reckon with any potential desires to change only after growing closer with the family, you get to explore things like "How does Mirabelle feel that even the person who said she didn't have to change is changing." and the slightly less potentially harrowing (OR MORE, IF YOU WANT IT TO BE? IDK. I'M NOT YOUR BOSS.) "Isa's continued changing allows Siffrin a space to explore it, maybe even just by proxy, or maybe by joining them."

But mostly, this section is about how Siffrin not having Changed Yet makes them delightfully strong narratively; allowing them to relate to Mirabelle, and get cold feet when comparing themselves to Isabeau. I love this as a narrative strengthener. It's very rare in media that we get to explore a nonbinary character's thoughts and insecurities on whether or not they're "doing enough" to be nonbinary. Even less so Aligned nonbinary people. And reading that alignment and insecurity through the lens of a nonbinary person not fully disconnected from their assigned gender at birth? It's a very compelling exploration of a very common and raw and yet underdiscussed feeling, much like the rest of ISAT. I think this is an extremely potent element should it be read this way, and is only strengthened when taking Siffrin's other themes into account.

Speaking of which.

2. SIFFRIN'S HABITS OF CLINGING TO 'KNOWN QUANTITIES', SCAPEGOATS, AND THEMES OF RACIAL IDENTITY INTERSECTING WITH GENDER IDENTITY.

HOLDING ON TO WHAT YOU KNOW. (OR KNOW THAT YOU DO NOT.)

I explained above many of my thoughts on the Universe Faith, and trying to keep these two sections separate was difficult, but needed to be done for the sake of clarity. But this section and the above are deeply intertwined.

Siffrin… Holds on to the things they know. They do not know much. But man do they fucking hold. And yet, paradoxically, they are also avoidant about it.

It is made clear in the text, to the point where I really don't feel the need to rehash it here, that Siffrin's disconnection from their homeland is incredibly painful, but that they consider that culture utterly and irreplaceably important to them. They cannot face it, it is too painful. They cannot let it go, it is too important.

Knowing what we know of the Island's irl inspirations (though, word of god, the exact location is not supposed to matter, one can infer it from the text (and I did! within reasonable proximity!)), Siffrin is of an indigenous peoples of some description, more than likely. And at the very least, Siffrin carries with them inherent biases and ignorances that show that Vaugarde's conceptions of things don't quite mesh with their own. Bowing to the Vaugardian way of things could very easily be seen as assimilation, in this way.*

And identity? Gender? Presentation? Role? All of that has a cultural element. There's no telling what specifics Siffrin has lost in that arena, and that's the problem. Neither do they. How paralysing, the feeling, to know that should you change yourself you risk unknowingly erasing another piece of home? I wouldn't blame them for locking it off. Keeping their old clothes, keeping what little they can remember of themselves… It doesn't seem to me a conducive or safe mental space to get experimental.

And the Universe makes for a perfect scapegoat. As referenced in the section above, a lot can be justified should you call it "The Universe's Will", because who's there to call you on it? Hardly anyone. Your divine right to Freeze A Place In Time; Your Deserved Punishment for Wanting to be Loved: All of it the Universe-- If you want it to be. And thusly, if the Universe wanted you to be a certain way, wouldn't you already be? Wouldn't it make you so? (Wouldn't it take away your body, that which makes you human? If that is what it thought of you?) So best to put it out of your mind. Wouldn't want to accidentally wish anything.

But as the game itself puts it, personified by The King, you cannot stay mired like this forever. As Loop themselves puts it, they can "get so fixated, sometimes." At some point they need to allow themselves to grow in whatever direction they need, because in the end, they need to live their life. They don't need to abandon their country, their culture, but they can't let it restrain them either.

(* MASSIVE CAVEAT: im white as fuck boyyy. i cant say shit. im like technically Of The Land im like 90% pictish or something ridiculous like that so my particular line has never moved anywhere but. this is notttt something i have input or insight on. this is all gleaned from reading and listening to indiginous perspectives from wherever they may be. i am simply trying to infer from what the game gives us without inserting my own feelings on the matter.)

3. SIFFRIN, LOOP, DE-PERSONING, DEHUMANISING, APATHY AND SURVIVAL.

Alright, here's some less heady and purely-thematic points to round things out. And where we'll also address the fucked up star being in the room; Loop.

My last couple of reading points are the most potentially-transfem to me. Or at least the ones that really hammer home, to me, a seeming lack of want to be masculine-aligned.

ANOTHER NOTE ON THE 'NOT A GUY' THING.

Obviously, there is the aforementioned "Not a man/not that you're a boy" thing. This is rather straightforward, but also still pretty ambiguous. You can be masc-aligned and still Not A Guy. But it does seem to be of note that being a guy very much does not seem to be a goal of Siffrin's. I would posit this in direct contrast to… Isabeau.

But not Isabeau's masculinity. I would instead hold it up against Isa's femininity.

ISAT, as a text, has its characters have genuinely different levels of security in their gender identity, and Isabeau, despite still having insecurities, seems super chill on the gender angle specifically! Their internal strife comes not from their 'not feeling like a man enough' or 'hating being a woman', but instead from their self perception as a friendless nerd! Something that seems to be only tangentially related to Isa's gender, really?

The big dumb bruiser thing is certainly aided by being a dude, but Isa still seems completely comfortable referring to themselves with feminine language, calling himself a "mother hen" (prologue) and having "the heart of a fair maiden" (cookie snack time). (However, they also take being excluded from Mira's girly book club as a surprised compliment, implying they weren't expected to be excluded, and find it affirming.) And even further so, Isa states they want to continue changing further and exploring their identity more, being rather blatant that they might lean back into femininity (and more importantly, let themselves be outwardly smart again), since they're starting to feel hurt by everyone assuming they ARE genuinely stupid.

[Image: Prologue Isa calling himself a mother hen]

And man, this is such a breath of fresh air vis a vis representation. I don't think I really need to explain that. A character who's gender identity is driven by chasing euphoria, even if it started out by trying to drive out misery. Isabeau's character is so damn good. But this essay isn't about him, so get back in the crate, boy.

... So here we have Isa, who is genuinely comfortable reclaiming things about their birth gender, and Mirabelle who loves her traditionally feminine traits to the point where she feels a little guilty that she isn't rejecting them to foster change. And then we have Siffrin… who seems to reject masculine language…? Hrm… (… And then we have The King. A Masculine Title. Someone who Siffrin increasingly sees themselves in and deeply, deeply dislikes this.)

APATHY AND SURVIVAL

It should be clear by now that I see Siffrin's core character as being driven by avoidance and survival. This seems to lead to a lot of apathy, brushing off emotions that are too intense or events and occurences that are too painful. (See: just absolutely everything with Bonnie)

It's all Siffrin really seems to be able to do to Survive. They've travelled, seemingly alone, for what would be around a decade by what the game says about the island's disappearance. They've lived alone on the road as a traveller in a country that so openly welcomes strangers that THE KING and his whole motives can happen. Siffrin is avoidant and refuses to acknowledge problems or strive for help and comfort.

So. That line about the dress. Let's unpack the line(s) about the dress.

THE DRESS LINE, AND THE WAY IT CHANGES BETWEEN PROLOGUE, ACT 2, AND ACT 3.

Good god where to start with this. Full disclosure, the first draft here was way more vague in how I approached this line because I remembered it (and another line, I'll get to it.) way more tame, but going and getting the screenshots..... Siffrin. Buddy. We gotta unpack this.

In act 2, we have "You haven't worn a dress in forever!". This is a neutral, if seemingly a little joyous statement. All we really glean from this is the information that Siffrin at some point, wore 'a' dress. No real inferences there. (Maybe you could say that the singular as opposed to plural makes it more likely that they borrowed/only owned One Dress rather than owned several? But that's a massive stretch...)

Then, act 3/4 shuffles this off into a more general "You wonder if you'll ever wear different clothes again." Which is a more despairing and distant statement. Considering Siffrin seems to travel with only the items they can carry, and owns sleep clothes... It's unclear how many changes of clothing they have. The party seems to consider the cloak a pretty permanent fixture, anyhow. But this line doesn't really say much aside from 'oh god i'm losing myself to the time loop malaise'

NOW THE PROLOGUE. Prologue Sif, buddy, pal, Loop, if I'm allowed to call you that....

Thousands of loops in. We are wistful for specifically dresses. You've forgotten almost everything. You dream about someday seeing the sun again. To be anywhere but here. You want to wear a dress again.

I. Kind of do not know what to do here but point at it. Like I said, my first draft had me half-remembering the progression of this line and as such I was far more vague on what I thought it could imply. Instead this is just straight up yearning.

To, try and segue back to what I had initially written, we'll pick up here...

Siffrin expresses a want to wear other clothes, explore changing their body... But instead, they wear a ratty old form-covering cloak that keeps them warm and safe and is a last reminder of home. They are shapeless, formless, hiding their face under the brim of a wide hat. They do not voice their desire to wear a dress aloud. They once again, keep a desire to themselves, because they do not allow themselves to want publicly. Apathy is safer. Apathy and quiet means you do not risk retribution or hurt.

While I do not think the above is exclusively a transfeminine feeling, it really, really reads like one when taken part and parcel with assuming Siffrin has denied themselves prior exploration.

... And here I have to break my first draft again. I was being, once again, restrained in my reading when writing this. Because I had convinced myself I had maybe straight up imagined one of the lines I was basing my reads on, because I couldn't find it. Because it was a line that read so strikingly desolate to me that my brain had slotted it in during Act Five, meaning when I went looking for it neither me nor my friends could find it.

It's in acts 3 and 4. It's a line I already brought up.

"You're thinking about crafting your body. You seem to have all the time in the world now."

good fucking christ. sorry to break the academic tone but Jimminy Fucking Willikers, Siffrin. What's with that bit. The resignation and despair and guilty comfort we know the timeloop brings them, bleeding into the gender.

This. *taps my finger harshly on my desk* THIS, this feels transfem. this feels so wildly transfem to me. The knowledge that they've never changed before this line lends. The admission that they've been holding back because it's 'too much work'. I spent a lot of time during the game relating Siffrin not to myself but to my friends.

If I'm honest, really, truly, I'm not all too often in Siffrin's shoes. I'm the stable one, of my group. I'm the rock people ground themselves on. And I see so much hesitance, all the time. Denial of joy because what if it's taken away, again? Or futilely out of reach? It hurts more to try, and to fail, than to never try at all.

I wanted to shake Siffrin by the shoulders this whole game. Grit teeth beg them to accept help because for fuck's sake people are clearly offering it get it through your skull--

*coughs* Ah. Ahem. Right. The uh, academic tone.

Right. What I mean to say is, this read as transfem to me because of the way it relates to real-world experiences of denial. And this combo of the Dress line, and the progression of the Meat Prison line, the constant evidence of never having strived for what they want, and that insistance that you're not a man, seem to dislike being percieved as a man, but not being able to shed the outward signifiers?

Individually, yes, these points can be read in different ways. The total opposite ways, even, I'm sure! But as a gestalt it feels really, really transfem. Even if yeah, sure Vaugarde is a magical setting where being transgender is accepted, and this hesitance, specifically, around gender, might not 'make sense' in 'the lore'...

Diegesis isn't everything. Sometimes something that reflects a real-world feeling is important, even if it doesn't 'mesh' with 'the lore' of the world.

TANGENT: DIEGESIS AND READING INTO NON-REAL-WORLD-SETTINGS.

This is a Watsonian vs Doylist spectre that's been haunting this whole argument. In-universe (Watsonian), Vaugarde has seemingly no discrimination between genders, sexualities, and a lackadaisical approach to most things in the arena. Reading our own patriarchal/heterosexual/amanonormative/perisexist society unto it does not make sense, not in this context.

In the real world, however (Doylist), ISAT is a text made in our prejudiced society. A text that is distinctly flavoured by those bigotries which it is kicking back against. Because of this, it is not the whole story to simply read the text while discarding our real-world-informed inferences. Isabeau is a big example of this. While perfectly accepted in Vaugarde, he is very obviously a revolutionary character in our real-world space! He has so much to say, specifically BECAUSE things about him that are not readily accepted here, are accepted there! Same with Mira's struggles, and yes, Siffrin's too.

ISAT was written with the knowledge of how it would play against our real world in mind, we know this, clearly, from many an interview. This is most present in how it engages with asexuality and aromanticism (and immigrant identity), but make no mistake, it influences the Whole Text.

Ergo, just because I view certain writing choices here in the context of Our Real World Perspectives On Gender and not Vaugarde's In-Universe Perspectives, it does not make them an invalid read. They are simply a Doylist read.

There's been an admittedly loosey-goosey lack of delineation here between things I'm reading with either lens, because for the most part all of these points have been a vague synthesis of both that I can't quite decouple. Unprofessional, I know, but I'll admit to not having written my thoughts down like this in a good long while. Usually I just hash this out verbally over discord voice to a small number of weirdo literature and classics student friends who are willing to humour me. I'm an arts student too, but animation hardly required I actually write an essay to a literature degree's standard. Lol.

DE-PERSONING. AND LOOP. OH JESUS . LOOP .

Siffrin de-persons themselves a lot. I say de-person rather than dehumanise because, well, there's a subtle difference there. Siffrin doesn't see themselves as vermin or an animal or an object, but they do seem to see themselves as lesser, not requiring the respect they grant others. They aren't, you know, a 'real person'.

People get to have things like thoughts and wants and identities. Siffrin is, at best, Just Siffrin. They have what they have and they don't ask for more and they don't (CAN'T) feel too strongly on what they do have!

When Loop at first offers their pronouns they offer the Royal 'We'. This is at least a little bit, a joke. A nudge toward their true identity, a potential dig at themselves for becoming so understanding of The King. Mostly though, a joke on the first thing…. and a sign that they do not see themselves as a separate entity to the Siffrin stood before them.

When Siffrin rejects this, they settle for they/them. Loop drops the he/him, presumably partially to cover their tracks, but… They just showed their hand with the 'Royal We', and if you wanted to go even further with this, there's no way for us to know whether Loop is treating this pronoun as singular or not. They presumably are, but it is still a potentially plural pronoun.

Loop… Clearly does not see themselves as a person. It's, I would say, a completely reasonable assumption that the form they have taken reflects implicit feelings toward themselves as less than a person, an actor, a monster, a tool, a means to an end. They are rendered inhuman by The Universe, frivolous distractions removed. No mouth, inventory and clothes confiscated, nothing between the legs. Formed roughly in the shape of a person to allow them to do their only job: Help.

Loop's body does not make logical sense, given their continued ability to sleep, dream and their continued habit of deep breaths to self-soothe. It would seem to me, it was made in the image it was, with only the tools it needed to Help Siffrin. Why obfuscate their identity? Because giving the game away too early would likely make them lose hope. Why so deeply, thoroughly star themed? An instant signal, that even if a stranger, they are an ally. They are home.

[Image: Loop saying that they take naps and dream, and evidence of Loop habitually attempting to breathe in the twohats lose-to-loop ending]

And they… Degender themselves. No longer with any bodily signifiers of masculinity, and cruelly disallowed the ability to hide themselves beneath fabric, they are null. The spoiler Q&A (paratext, as it were) states that:

Q. Is Loop: 1. Actually comfortable with both he and they, but only gave the one pronoun to emphasize the distance? 2. Only using they/them because a large life event led to a shift in identity/ how they’d like to be perceived? or 3. time lops stole he from they they :( A. Mostly that first one. But all three of those reasons have a bit of truth to them.

While the 'mostly the first one' comment does imply that Loop would not baulk at being he/him'd (similar to how Siffrin does not), the other reasons, especially the second, having 'a bit of truth' does lend credence to this reading. That Loop's self-perception has shifted, and what I posit, is that this shift is in tandem with a disconnection with humanity. Due, presumably, to the dehumanising experience of the timeloop.

Loop has no biology to speak of, and yet they remain blind in one eye. I take this as an implication that they considered this so core to themselves, to who they could remember being, that it stayed. Even if they had forgotten their own face, trapped in a part of the house with no mirrors, they knew they couldn't see. They kept this, and yet seemingly they, or The Universe, or both of them in tandem, discarded all else.

This isn't like…. Healthy behaviour. That is for certain. But it is interesting that Siffrin and Loop seem to hold on to their masculinity by a thread, and that Loop, when actually given the excuse to make a choice, chooses the Neutral Option. Siffrin might de-person themselves, but Loop, Loop is absolutely dehumanising themselves. From Loop's own mouth (or lack thereof) do they call themselves a Corpse. That's… pretty damn bad.

TANGENT 2: POTENTIAL IMPLICATIONS OF THE JAPANESE TRANSLATION.

Did somebody say 'distance'? Yeah turns out that has some more potential evidence. In the form of First Person Pronouns. See, English, with its third person only pronouns relies on others to gender you. Japanese, you get to gender yourself. And Siffrin specifically has an interesting discrepancy in the way he refers to himself.

(DISCLAIMER: I . DO NOT KNOW MUCH ABOUT JAPANESE. THIS IS SECOND-HAND KNOWLEDGE. SOURCED FROM THIS TUMBLR POST AND OTHER QUICK SKIMS OF WIKIPEDIA)

Loop and Siffrin use the same, very neutral "mostly male but could go either way" pronoun of 僕 boku. Safe, soft friendly pronoun. Used by people on the younger side of adulthood, not so impolite that you can't use it in a formal setting. Such a neutral all-rounder that female singers in japan tend to use boku in their songs to relate to the audience with quiet confidence.

And in their internal monologue? Siffrin uses a completely different pronoun. In his head, for himself, he uses 自分 jibun. Now, this may be an artefact of the monologue's english second-person "You", since jibun can also be used to mean a very neutral "self". A "myself/herself/himself" type 'self'. But when used as a first person pronoun, it has a connotation of being… distant, introspective. Which is… a fascinating implication, if that was the intent.

But I don't know anything about japanese so ! If I'm off the mark, discard this!

LOOP, PART 2: MAYBE NOT A GREAT STATE TO BE IN.

While Siffrin I can comfortably argue that they can like, keep their current gender presentation, whatever you may perceive it to be, once the game is over, Loop, I cannot.

Siffrin's potential issues with their identity are ones that honestly feel like they would best be explored with gentle refinement and searching. They don't need to violently seperate themselves from what they are now, far from it, in fact. They need to learn to grow comfortable in their own skin, and with the people they love. To become open and trusting, with an open mind to where it may lead.

Loop has already lost this battle. They don't get to refine anymore, just pick up the pieces. While I don't necessarily think radical change is Good for Loop, I think they may Need It. For them, resting will probably become stagnation (see: napping all day under the tree, resigned, really, to the idea they're stuck there forever.), they need a shake-up in order to re-find their feet. Even if they end up right back where they started, they still need to do the actual painful process of soul-searching first.

Problem is, they're still rather avoidant. So it basically becomes a question of getting them into a situation where this exploration is forced upon them. At which point, that's a whole new plotline. This becomes fanfiction. Hence, why while I think Transfem-Egg Loop is a Valid Read when extrapolated from Siffrin… I must concede any actual adventures into them acting upon that as headcanon territory. I just do not know how you would get them there without making a whole new Thing, at which point it stops being Just A Read of the text haha. It doesn't help that Loop and Siffrin (grudgekeepers supreme) both have reason to spite the Change God after who was phone.

As for whether this egg-read reflects directly back on to Siffrin? Maybe! They are the same person. But I think that, especially with Vaugarde's lax views, and their actual differences (Loop's general worse mania // Siffrin's incentive to stay a reminder to themselves and Loop of their country) means they could easily go two different routes, along the road to becoming their own distinct individuals. (And in all honesty, growing into their differences is probably the more healthy option in the long run if you're keeping Loop around? But again, we are going so far into the future here this is no longer a read. And I am not here to dispense baseless headcanons without massive disclaimer, so…)

Tl;Dr:

Siffrin's Survival-Apathy and hesitance to change feels really thematic to their being 'what's left' of their homeland

They seem unsettled by the flippancy of the Change Religion at times, clinging to the familiar to cope with the trauma of displacement.

Mal du pays speaks of them that they have not 'tried' to change, showing an insecurity there, even outside of the literal stagnance of the loops.

They are self assured to Mira that one does not have to change, in a very genuinely personal impulsive statement.

They and others exclude themselves from being "A Man", but Siffrin keeps desires to explore their expression to themselves.

The Universe belief, seemingly in Siffrin's view of it, disincentivises Free Will and Wants very heavily. It is not hard to assume they extend this to all elements of their life.

They have self-admittedly never pursued tangible change, likely due to this aversion to choice. Despite this, they express interest in changing, seeming nonplussed with their body, and house at least some desire for more traditionally feminine expression.

Oh Good God. Loop Sure Does Not Treat Themselves Like A Person. Why Does That Come With A Pronoun Change? What Does That Mean?

But most of all:

It makes them such a fascinating foil and lens to Change and characters who believe in it! It makes them eerily similar to The King! It opens up such fascinating debate between characters like themselves and Mirabelle, Isabeau and Loop, on whether or not they want to change in future, or if it truly is okay to never radically change yourself! What genuinely fertile ground for dialogues. And man if I'm not heavily drawn towards dialogues.

(End of essay! Congratulations for making it the whole way! 🎉 I hope this nightmarish deep dive helps with understanding some of the ways I've been writing Siffrin and Loop too. Since while I've not ever focused on the gender side of it (and probably won't in comic form) this does pervade my view of the two, since it would be impossible for it to Not. As you can see, I do think it is pretty relevant to both their themes.)

(Now for some bonus material)

ADDENDUMS:

PERSONAL BIAS NOTE:

Not included in this analysis since this is more a Pet Theme of my own (usually kept quarantined to the realms of my OCs), but something else I see in Siffrin is a reflection of the Dude Issue(tm) of patriarchal irl society disincentivisng Dudes(tm) from ever fucking introspecting ever.

I'm curious about nonbinary/trans characters who have no idea they’re nonbinary/trans because they’ve been disincentivised from thinking/doubting their identity due to societal power structures or simply tradition. I dig around the themes of “a lot of guys are trapped in a societal prison without ever knowing and it makes them miserable but they can’t escape because they don’t even see the cage” like, a lot, in my personal work. It intrigues me. So bleh, cards on the table there. That mode of interacting with nb/trans characters is one I'm inclined to.

This kinda goes hand in hand with the watsonian vs doylist situation i took an aside to mention. But it is so far along the doylist side that I didn't want to include it, since it is a little too assumptive of the text for my comfort. I don't think the game necessarily has much commentary on this specific Societal Bind. But if it does, then hey, there's my thoughts on it.

STRAY SIDE NOTES AND HEADCANONS ABOUT OTHER CHARACTERS (AS A TREAT FOR GETTING THIS FAR):

MID-GAME OBSERVATION ABOUT BONNIE AND ODILE THAT I NEVER WENT BACK TO VERIFY:

I got the impression that Bonnie heavily favours they/them pronouns for Siffrin, and Odile he/him, as a bit of presumed character voice. I don't know that I am right, literally at all, in that observation, because it very well could've been confirmation bias.

BUT! It did give me the impression that one of the things Bonnie was idolising about Siffrin was a degree of "wow!! older person with my gender!! wow!!", which is just like, cute. I like it even if I don't have any solid evidence.

ODILE, WHAT'S HER DEAL?:

Oh she stays just as mysterious as she intends to be, huh? Even with her comments in the Changing Room alluding to knowing things about underground changing operations, you can't draw much of a conclusion about her. I appreciate verily that she's word-of-god unlabelled and also poly. That shit's great. Woman who has stopped drawing lines or caring what she's up against. Nice characterisation flavour I think.

Anyway, I do think that transfem Odile is a really, really nice take. I have no evidence in either direction for her in either direction, and her being a woman of any description makes her relationship with her absent mother something interesting to chew on, but the idea that she pursued womanhood intentionally lends an interesting texture. I've not much to say, but it's a thread to pull on. Makes you wonder what other female role models she had in her life instead. Anyway she's mysterious as fuck I can't extrapolate Jack nor Squat. Shrug! I'm also made curious by the idea of her potentially moving away from womanhood as she feels the weight of her history lifted. This goes either way, really. Diagnosis: mysterious.

HEADCANON NOTE: INTERSEX SIFFRIN

I don't have any in-text support for this so this entire thing is an unbased headcanon to me. but i DO like it because 1. fun and 2. potential for more thematic exploration

haha gotcha its fuckin themes again. its always themes with me.

But yeah. Not much to say here besides drawing a parallel (that I believe I've seen drawn elsewhere in the fandom already?) between ISAT's comments on how a society that values change would view Aroace identities, and how Mira feels about not wanting to change with the real world experiences of Intersex people having alteration and conformity forced upon them, saying the Change Belief would likely be just as bad for them as it is for aroace people.

So, adding it to Siffrin's situation further drags them into the opposition-to-change foil role. Which like I said, think has a lot to explore.

HEADCANON NOTE: A POTENTIAL METHOD FOR GETTING LOOP OUT OF THEIR GOD DAMNED COMFORT ZONE

I think utilising Loop's contrarianism is an effective and funny way to get them to explore their gender. I personally think running with them trying to hide their identity from the party is a hilarious way to do it. Having them try to position themselves in direct opposition to Siffrin to "throw the party off their trail" (not that i think they really need to?), going full feminine-revealing-clothing because it's NOT what a Siffrin would do and accidentally growing accustomed to it. Funny to me. Especially when the party eventually do find out who they are and go . "????? what was the girl stuff about ??? is that something you wanna do now ???".

[Isabeau] "Ohhhh it was a bit! Haha you really are Sif, still a jokester!" [Loop] "HAHA YEAH . JOKES. LOVE THOSE. LOVE TO MAKE JOKES!" [Isabeau] "Yep! Anyway. Tell me if you need anything!"

Bonus bonus:

[Siffrin] "Okay, so, if you're a girl. Does this reflect on like… me?" [Loop] "No doubles. Get your own gender, parasite~!"

[saturnniines]

and also on the note of faroeverse and genderbends, jaroe are in no way just Girl Jarthur.

to me there’s a whole different array of themes you can tap into with jaroe when you take into account faroe being forced to navigate the world in a different way than arthur on the basis of her gender and presentation, jane being explicitly trans/the kiy as an allegory for transphobia and pre-transition, even the time period being 1940s/50s rather than the 30s changes so much about their dynamic

obviously there’s a lot of overlap between jaroe and jarthur (duh), they’re still in the same predicament. but to me jaroe themes are very much about expectations, the roles of women, particularly queer women, during this time period and the rebellion of being yourself despite what the world insists you must be

faroe is viewed as just an extension of her father by the people in her life, and when not, an extension of her mother (by daniel). she feels like she’s going to spend her whole life being forced to fill the hole left behind by both of them for other people.

but jane is different. jane has only ever known faroe as Faroe. all of the things jane came to love (and hate) about her were just that: things about her, not who she isn’t. in meeting jane, faroe feels for the first time that someone can look at her and truly see Her, not weighed down by how much she is or isn’t like someone else.

and for jane, not knowing her own identity was confusing, but she came to appreciate a freedom in it. on one hand, she had been desperate to know since the beginning who she really was, but at the same time, maybe it wasn’t so bad that she didn’t know. that faroe had given her the space to make her own choices about who she is.

but all of that gets turned on its head when she finds out that she is the king in yellow. being given her answer, but now it doesn’t feel right at all. something had changed. and faroe is there to tell her that she still has a choice in who she wants to be, even if they know now what came before. to faroe, jane will always just be jane.

jaroe to me is about queer love in spite of expectations

[astriiformes]

I love when you're into two pieces of media that are very different from each other but can nonetheless identify some overlapping themes that are part of why each one resonates with you.

Like, obviously I have been blogging a lot about Back to the Future lately, and one thing that has always appealed to me about the series is the idea that someone's life could always have turned out very differently depending on the circumstances that shaped them. Marty travels back in time and unintentionally changes his whole family's lives by being the person his parents needed 30 years ago. The video game even explores how differently Doc might have turned out had certain influences in his life been changed. That idea that people's futures are extremely malleable things has always appealed to the part of me that wants to make others' lives better, and who sometimes looks at my own parents and wonders what might have made them happier people, had someone intervened decades ago.

And now I've added Severance to my mix of interests, which is of course all about how circumstances shape people, and what parts of our identities are inherent to us and what parts are a product of our circumstances. It's especially evident with characters like Helena and Irving, who have complicated relationships to Lumon on the outside that their innies don't necessarily (or in Irving's case, initially) reflect, their personalities instead shaped by internal traits like determination or a desire for meaning. But even characters like Mark and Dylan show fascinating differences between their inside and outside selves. The whole show is based on deep questions like who we are without our grief, our familial relationships, and our histories---and how someone might respond to very different circumstances, like the near-complete loss of autonomy.

So now I'm sitting here having a "The dots! I've connected them!" moment about themes that I love in stories and that are important to my identity and outlook, because "What makes you you?" is such a fascinating recurring theme (and, notably, one that speculative fiction is uniquely equipped to explore, as both these examples demonstrate). And I am loving chewing on that because like. Yes. Who would we be without or history, or if our histories were different? What parts of me would persist in a different timeline, or a different environment? What parts would change? On a meta level, why do I personally find stories about identity so interesting?

Just. Man I love fiction.

[miyakuli]

Stray Gods

Lost In A Song

Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome! To cabaret? No, no, in an interactive musical fiction. Yes, you heard that right. Stray Gods is a surprising mix of visual novel and musical, where your choices influence not only the story but also the songwriting. So it's a pretty original concept, but is it note-worthy? Bleibe, reste, stay, and see for yourself.

❤ The mix between the modern world and mythology works really well, and the idea - which I won't reveal here - of bringing these two worlds together is a pretty good one. As a result, we find familiar Greek divine figures mingling with our society in a rather amusing way, and we revise our classics as we meet them. But the real strength, in my opinion, lies in the use of these legends to address harsh yet topical issues such as suicide, grief, relationship abuse etc...offering some emotionally powerful musical moments. ❤ While the music is in the spotlight, it's also a treat for the eyes, with some truly superb comic-book-style illustrations! Some may be put off by the stop-motion effect, but the animation is no less dynamic with its camera work and changing backgrounds and colors to match the tunes of our decisions. So, for the same scene, the atmosphere will not be the same visually and will follow the mood of the song according to the choices made by the player.

❤ The characters are endearing and I really enjoyed the diversity in terms of chara-design. They each have a strong visual identity, which reinforces their personality even more, making them quite memorable characters. The interactions between them are very well handled, with well-written dialogue that juggles humor and drama. On the romance side, I think that each suitor brings an interesting dynamic, whatever the personality given to Grace, our main character. Each player will obviously have their own preferences, but it's rare that I find that all the romances harmonise so well with the MC. ❤ I have to mention the French translation, which doesn't just translate the songs word for word but has tried to adapt the lyrics with more melodious turns of phrase and even rhymes! Well done for the effort :)

+/- You'll have noticed that I haven't yet mentioned the heart of the game, namely the music. The work on the music is clearly impressive; the main musical themes, built like leitmotifs, are quite memorable and echo each other throughout the game. But above all, each song has its own variation, and it's up to the player to direct their own score, taking on the role of conductor. It could have been extremely clumsy, yet Austin Wintory (who has already signed one of my favourite soundtracks with Journey) has managed to make clever musical transitions that never create a rupture…..well, not all the time. Some of the variations fit together more or less well, sometimes making the melody a bit wobbly, and you really get a feel for which parts were written as the main theme and which are ‘optional’. That must be why the song Adrift sticks in my mind the most, because it was conceived as a song in its own right with no real changes. +/- Where there's a song, there's a performer. While the voice cast is excellent, with some of the big names in dubbing, making their characters their own, I found that in terms of singing performances, some were a little subpar and didn't always sound quite right.

✖ While the universe is charming, the script clearly lacks subtlety, being far too predictable, and the scenes are chained together at a very fast tempo without giving the time to really enjoy the investigation. ✖ The game is also short and offers very few changes to the storyline when it comes to the choices made. As a result, it can quickly become repetitive if you try to complete it. ✖ Another downside was that there were a number of glitches during my various games: music cutting out when I made a choice, dialogs overlapping when I wanted to fast forward, delays between sound and image and minor translation oversights.

Stray Gods was a satisfying experience for the Broadway lover in me. Sure, the plot could be better paced and orchestrated, and the music can sound a little unstable at times, but you can't take away from the the game's originality and inspired ideas. Besides, if I've already got one song stuck in my head, then I guess the game has served its purpose. On that note, so long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, adieu🎶

➡ My personal VN ranking (in french) ➡ My Steam page

[period-of-nocturne]

I've been thinking a lot about how Niigo would react to Mizuki's secret. Ever since I knew how worried Mizuki was about it.

Kanade Yoisaki doesn't have a mean bone in her. If she grew one, it would be do heavy that her body would break to it's weight. Girl isn't made to handle strong negative feelings. Kanade exist with the will to save and protect and love people. Even confused, she'll try her best to understand.

Mafuyu "I break down when I'm called good girl" Asahina. Mafuyu "I keep my hair long but doesn't take care of them. It's highly likely I just keep them because mom said so." Asahina. Mafuyu "I want to be a nurse (fem job to society's eyes) but my Mom insists I become a doctor (masc job to society's eyes)" Asahina. Mafuyu "I don't know who I am or what I want" Asahina.

Mafuyu is the personifications of identity issues. It obviously overlap and cross paths with gender issues. That doesn't necessarily both came as a package deal, just that the themes treated by both issues are often very similar. The like between both themes is blurry, and it's why Trans Mafuyu is such a huge headcannon. The fandom. No matter if you HC them as transfem or transmac.

Mafuyu can only be extremely confused by the concept, because... It's Mafuyu, you know. Or instinctively understand it, because of how relatable the struggle of wanting to be yourself is to her.

Ena... I don't know. But I trust she'll understand, no matter her first reaction. She's in no way a bad person. She's Momoi Airi's friend. Momoi "You're a girl, in every sense of the word." Airi. Come on.

Airi is the second character with a strong link to gender identity in the game. I have no doubts Ena is aware of it. And Ena being Ena, I also have no doubts she stranded up against anyone tried to mess with Airi on the topic, if she ever witnessed it happens.

Shinonome Ena always stands up to defend her friends and I want to trust she'll do it once again. Roast that Student A, girl. Tell them to shut their little mouth. You can do it. I believe in you.

I haven't read Mizuki5. I don't know what's going on. Maybe I'm totally off the mark. Maybe y'all already know Niigo's reaction while I'm here speculating.

But I want to tell to Mizuki Akiyama that she can trust her friends. That it will be okay. No matter how scared she is right now. Things will work out.

Unfortunately I can't go through the screen so I can only scream it in the void, shaking my phone while asking Hatsune Miku to let me in---

[mirror-imaged]

it's my niche microblogging platform and i get to talk about being frustrated with ai nirvana initiative again. heavy spoilers under the readmore for both aitsf games and zero escape. (i know i already did this i think i just have different points and feelings i'd like to articulate? in addition to the ones you can find here if you'd like to read them. this post is kind of... a sequel! crazy.)

i've had time to sit on aini, and the more i think about it the more upset i feel. i really REALLY liked the original aitsf, like, really obviously so. the character writing in that game all felt like it was in service of a greater narrative that - while it contains some issues - is one of the most memorable games i've experienced in the past decade. i honestly think it's my second favorite of uchikoshi's entire game library, right behind the original ds version of 999. the story is really interesting, it contains some super fascinating themes relating to the human mind and personhood, the complexities of family, and identity. uchikoshi's titles all feel like they're kind of put together out of the same building blocks mixed and matched, along with being utilized in different ways. the unique characters and settings really make them stand out as individually enjoyable stories, even if they share a lot of lifeblood. like, i notice parallels between titles of his i've already played that seem at first glance to have really similar stories if you read a plot summary, but the experience of sitting down to play them makes all the difference.

(side tangent here, but like, seriously. dastardly old man with deep personal connection and involvement in an event that happened X number of years ago - bonus points if it's a multiple of 3 - weaving together the lives of the main cast? uniquely preventable tragedy all in service of someone's greed? autistic weirdgirls with deep personal baggage? bodyswapping and mindfuckery outside of the range of the genre's conventions? anyway!)

i feel like so much of what came out of aini's story is really counterproductive to the point of the original game. in my original post, i compared a lot of it to virtue's last reward and the things i found particularly disappointing in that title, which i still stand by to a degree. i think some of the feelings i had about it overlap, for instance when i first played VLR i actually really disliked it. i was extremely upset with the way it treated the canon of a game i'd formed a deeply personal emotional attachment to, but my feelings have changed over time. it's a game i like conceptually and as a total product more than i like the actual experience of playing through it again. part of that emotional response is felt in aini as well, where i was so emotionally attached to specifically date, mizuki, and aiba that the fact that the story went in the direction of kicking date out of mizuki's life for another six years crushed me. not in a good or tragically heartbreaking way, kind of just in an irreverent way. i had really wanted to see mizuki and date happy in a way that worked with the story of the original game, with the conclusion it ended on.

partially, i think i needed to take a step back and let my emotions subside before i could start critically analyzing the bits and pieces there. that was what i'd needed before i started to enjoy VLR more, in fact. but still, there are so many parts of aini that feel unfulfilled to me and like they needed more time in the oven. i think my mutual cosmicpines put it best in the comments on my original post, actually:

"The plot twist isn't even not foreshadowed. It's just the game erodes away so much of your trust in the writing that you don't think the hints are hints. Why does Hitomi say she hasn't seen Date in years? Why does Mizuki not have more of a reaction to her parentage or to Date? Why does Boss absolutely lay it into Ryuki for not that big of a fuck up? All of that is supposed to be hints, but they all just feel like sloppy writing."

thank you to her for that, i hope it's okay for me to quote it in this. i'm really sorry to essentially be using this post as my game journalism career i'll never get to have because i'm going into psychology and am not seeking a career as a writer, i'm just autistic and love mystery media, but some of the stuff they pull in the story doesn't work for me at all. the writing feels disjointed, and i think part of what's upsetting is that yes, it is supposed to feel disjointed. but the fact that it is supposed to feel that way doesn't make the end result make sense, it makes it feel like it's pulling out excuses. with 999 and the original aitsf, there were these beautiful moments where i felt everything slotting into place as i made connections in my mind. there's this buildup that's absolutely palpable in the atmosphere and story's stakes, and when everything clicked it felt like a switch was flipped in my brain. aini doesn't have that 'eureka!' moment for me, it felt like a slow burn that kind of fizzled out at the end. and i played it over the course of about one week, too, so that's not on my dreadful schedules.

that doesn't even address specifics in the story. i've already been upset about the use of the prototype psync machine while also disregarding the thing that made it unique to the story in the first place (again, the word irreverence comes to mind...) but i'd also like to really stress something else that i've come to become more upset about in time: mizuki. in my original post, i'd felt that mizuki had been severely shafted by the writing and this huge loss of time in between the events at the cathedral and the present day. that doesn't account for the fact that she's splitting time with bibi, who is virtually an indistinguishable character from her. i want to reference another aitsf post about mizuki found here made by jackass-jones and their tags.

part of what is so impactful about mizuki and date's relationship in the wider context of the story's themes surrounding family is that, as they put it, the okiuras are what is considered "normal" by society at large. they are a 'biological,' 'heterosexual,' wealthy, (previously) married family. the purpose behind that in the first game is clearly that they are extremely dysfunctional, so it's showing that the norm isn't necessarily what's best for kids. now, this is called into question in multiple ways throughout the initial game (they get divorced, renju begins a new relationship that is NOT heterosexual, et cetera) so there's precedent for maybe using the fact that mizuki was adopted by them in a way that slots into that analysis. however, that's clearly not what the intent was in the original game, so it doesn't work at all and comes across as an obvious retcon. mizuki being taken in by date is very clearly framed as BOTH of them learning to understand that family can be more than just blood, because neither of them have ever known anything else. part of the reason this reads as the intention to me is also that most of the relationships in aitsf that ARE bound by blood are at least somewhat dysfunctional! saito and so, so and iris, manaka and iris, renju, shoko, and mizuki, moma and rohan, mayumi and ota, et cetera! the relationships in the story that come across as the most caring are born of circumstance, like iris and hitomi along with mizuki and date.

mizuki in aini being adopted is, moving past that, fine i guess, but bibi being directly her clone kind of throws a wrench into this entire central theme of the original story. it's upsetting to me. mizuki never gets to explore her own feelings about the fact that her foster father, somebody she clearly loves and cares about, just... disappeared for six years after she finally had stability. it feels like a big fuck-you to the audience who cared so deeply about their familial bond in the original story. there's even a way this kind of misery from fate can be done interestingly, and i think VLR does it better. when i was originally upset by the story's shattering of my view of 999, it was largely centered around akane and junpei's relationship. however, able to look back and read it from a thematic lens, it works much better for me. akane kurashiki is somebody who has spent her entire life suffering. she has never known anything but working toward an end goal greater than herself, because she has been cursed with a power that gives her knowledge greater than any one human should possess. it makes so much sense that by the end of VLR chronologically, she has become somebody who continues to dedicate her life to something greater than herself. it makes me wonder if she feels selfish for dedicating so much time and hurt from both herself and others to something like saving her own life. and with that, tenmyouji has become somebody who has spent forever chasing this image of her he's created in his head; unable to see her after years and years, he can only remember her based on the two brief periods of their lives they'd spent together. their relationship means a lot to me, it's one of the most interesting dynamics i've seen put forth in a story.

aini doesn't do that. aini sidelines mizuki in what was supposed to be her own story. hell, it even sidelines ryuki, who gets the most screentime out of every main cast member. i like ryuki! i think he's great! it's just that outside of his route, you kind of... barely see him. i don't particularly mind the way the story has ambitions of using him as an unreliable narrator based on his own wonky perception of time, in fact i think it could be used really well if they'd done it better. but they don't! so i continue to be frustrated about it! i wish mizuki and ryuki got to have a relationship on-screen, especially considering the way that plays into her not getting allowed to process her feelings about losing date. he is partially responsible for what happened, and i don't know, i wish she got to feel some kind of way about that! even if it was unjustified anger, that would at least make some amount of sense? mizuki and date have always been bad at communicating directly with each other, even if they do both really care about each other. even so, mizuki has been shown to have big feelings! she hides them from people because her mother literally physically abused her when she showed them, but that doesn't change that she does! mizuki getting aiba as a partner was really interesting to me, not just because they both had a preexisting relationship with date, but also because they had great chemistry as a working pair. but there, in my eyes based on this decision, is another place where the story just fumbles so spectacularly this extremely easy opportunity to have interesting character dynamics due to that no-spoiler rule. aiba has been updated with counseling software in the literal UI of the game. this makes sense for ryuki and tama, but with mizuki and aiba it is just a huge chance for them to have mizuki open up to aiba - someone who also knows date very well - about her emotions related to his disappearance! it would make sense with the mechanics they literally added onto this game separate from the first one! but they didn't!

i don't know how to wrap up this post. i've already written... uh... well, 1.5k words in the last post, and currently over 2k words in this one. this is longer than some of my college essays. this is longer than some of the fanfiction i have written, and honestly it is kind of fanfic about a game i wish aini could have been. thank you for reading if you have! i know this is extremely long, so massive props once again to both of the people who i've mentioned that have made me think lots about this game. i hope i make any amount of sense and am not just babbling into the void, because truly, a lot of these ideas are things i've said out loud to myself in the shower.

[daily-hinomori-sisters]

day 388!

today's shizuku... is lost! they'd text to ask where she's gone, but we all know how that's gonna go.

the bit below is just me going on about my prsk/dqb2 (dragon quest builders 2) au and i havent seen ANY overlap between the fandoms yet 😭 if you happen to know what im talking about then. be warned it's long

the first question: is each place (furrowfield, khrumbul-dun, skelkatraz, moonbrooke, malhalla) dedicated to a unit, or a "unit shuffle" that i think fits?

at first i thought the latter would be best because you could have whichever characters fit the inhabitants best. HOWEVER. what if each island was given a unit based on a key theme.

for instance: furrowfield -> hope, mmj. khrumbul-dun -> unwavering loyalty, vbs (also babs -> an). etc.

okay NOW in a little more detail.

first: the 3rd place, skelkatraz, as niigo.

"well what ab-" niigo. forced to accept a different identity? literally trapped in (a) prison? made to watch their fruits (or... cabbages) of their efforts quite literally burn away? punished for harmless human nature? thats niigo. unfortunately this is also the most useless island so they'd just be fellow prisoners 😭

time to get this out of the way. mmj and wxs: which is moonbrooke, which is furrowfield? a hard decision - both could have a good balance of "serious" and "funny". mmj is better for the whole rendarak thing BUT i neeeed minori as rosie. HOWEVER the religious themes are strongest here and that might be better for wxs (that and "heartfelt convictions". again it was all down to haruka/nene LOL)

ultimately, while i'd love mmj for both, i'd say they're still best for furrowfield (otherwise it'd be haruka -> anessa) minori -> zara, shizuku -> esther, airi -> A Soldier idk). wxs would indeed be the king/zara/anessa/warwick in moonbrooke. also themes of loss are better for them.

next up: the 2nd island, khrumbul-dun, as vbs.

babs -> an, no question. they're all so close to each other and they all care so much about her in particular (just.. not to the same degree ffs the miners are weirdos). great for vivid street. thats all that needs to be said LOL

ALSO. quick IoA mention. lulu -> ena, hairy hermit -> miku.

now. malhalla is obviously leo/need. builder quite literally goes to hell and stops doomsday. not because of the "goodness of their heart" of whatever. because they want to save their best friend

SO. who's builder, who's malroth? akito fits the latter well, but i am a. biased and b. desperate for builder saki (though akikoha COULD work, esp. w/ babs/an favouring her). therefore, malroth shiho! unwavering loyalty? check. blunt? check. a key skill that is useful throughout their journey? check. the ability to use it for something that could hurt their friends (helping hargon/joining standout) but choosing them anyway, using/with the help of that same ability (destroying hargon's conviction/going pro)? CHECK. spreading the shihosaki agenda 💪

ichihona would be two of the monsters that make it through to buildertopia (griswold and arisplotle maybe. they wouldnt be anything like them though theyd just take their roles LOL). MEANWHILE. rin -> hellen, len -> zebadee or whatever, adamn -> kaito. oh also N04H as a miku variant 100%

isnt it crazy how. how builder would drop everything. go through Actual Hell. put not only their needs but the needs of others to the side. stop smiling (actually that was moonbrooke when malroth was imprisoned and called her disgusting. or him. but im saying her). save and befriend the enemy (but also the priority thing. told N04H she didnt want to build them a shelter she just wanted to find her friend). stop doomsday. all to find/save her best friend and give him that legendary high five.

[isobug]

Polysemous / Polysemy Identity ( illustrative flags )

Polysemy is the capacity of a single word or symbol to have multiple meanings / definitions / more than one connotation ( even if some of those definitions / meanings seemingly contradict each other. )

When related to one's identity it can refer to multiple things

One who is a specific identity, with that identity having multiple meanings / definitions, who identifies with all possible meanings /definitions of that identity ( including those which seem to contradict each other. )

One who is a specific identity, with that identity having multiple meanings / definitions, who identifies with most ( but not all ) meanings / definitions of that identity ( including those which seem to contradict each other. )

One who is a specific identity, with that identity having multiple meanings / definitions, who cycles through all possible meanings / definitions of that identity.

Any combination of the above ( even if putting those definitions together seems to lead to a contradictory identity. )

... and probably a few other definitions which I forgot to include. Obviously it's incredibly broad and inclusive!

( You could also replace "identity" in the above with "symbol" if you wanted to refer to your use of a specific symbol in relation to your identity. )

The flag was inspired by how purple seems to be used for ambiguity or multiplicity in concepts ( here it's for Polysemy itself. ) The outer stripes having contrasting colors and overlapping represents how definitions which seem to be contradictory still encompass the same identity and overlap.

The symbols on the bars ( a cross symbol and an asterisk ) are both used to indicate multiplication. I decided they'd be the best fit for symbols because despite being different shapes, they retain the same symbolic meaning in arithmetic, and fit in with the "multiple" theme. I made plain versions for those who dislike symbols or want to reposition them.

I made a simplified version without the overlap on the top / bottom bars for icons, edits, etc. that can't fit them in. As for how I generally intend for flags to be combined with these, you can check out my Polysemous Bi / Polysem Bi / Polysembi post here.

Similar to Recursive Gender / Recursigender and Dichotomyless / Non-Dichotomy this was mostly a fun exercise in playing around with a broader "concept" identity. I keep bringing math into these flags which is hilarious to me but I really hope I can make similar projects more often.

As always these are free to use anywhere by anyone, just throw me a credit and a link if someone asks for a source! I've uploaded the full .PSD template to my Deviantart ( isobug ) and you can find it at the post source link! It has everything for all versions of the flag and for making combo flags.

Taglist - @radiomogai, @revenant-coining

[dont-leafmealone]

Some books I read recently that are CONSTANTLY going to be on my mind forever:

Lockjaw by Matteo L. Cerilli - on a stormy night, four kids in a small town set out in the drainage tunnels beneath the old mill to kill the monster that dragged their friend to his death. On another stormy night, four teenagers in a small town set out in the drainage tunnels to kill the monster that has been living inside all of them all along. The amount of overlap is not especially surprising.

Funeral Songs for Dying Girls by Cherie Dimalene - Winifred lives in a cemetery, specifically in the attic of the attached building, with her widowed father who runs the crematory, under threat of eviction if the cemetery director can't make up the money to keep her dad employed. She's outcast except for Jack, her best friend who she's developed a serious crush on, and has accidentally become the origin for rumors that the cemetery is haunted - something she has the idea to monetize to save her dad's job and her home. The idea only solidifies after her discovery of a real ghost from the ravine behind the graveyard. But after she gets to know Phil - the ghost of a similarly outcast teen from decades past - she questions whether her scheme is really worth it.

These are both YA books in different genres - Lockjaw is supernatural horror with a focus on police corruption and queer, particularly trans, identity; Funeral Songs is coming-of-age with teen paranormal romance and a focus on queer and indigenous identity. Both these books deal a lot in themes of prejudice, queerness, race, failure of the system (or alternately the system working exactly how it was designed and screwing over minorities), and obviously death. Both made me laugh and cry a lot. Both are eerie and tragic but hopeful, and very queer. Check them out if you get the chance!

[inventors-fair]

Emergence: Hope Contest Winners

Our winners this week are @hypexion, @melancholia-ennui, and @wildcardgamez!

@hypexion — Lochthwain Dawn

I think this flavor text caught me off guard a little bit, but it's something vitally important to black's color identity that we don't get to see a lot of in a positive light: endurance. Green and black have that overlap of endurance that's even given rise to the elemental namesake. The difference is that the contextualization of black's endurance is often portrayed at the expense of someone else. Here, we have the knights of the realm fighting for the realm in a manner that shows a type of single-minded devotion eschewing selfishness. We take those pleasant surprises when we can, especially in the context of it being well-justified on top.

Obviously in various cheesy formats this card can go infinite with sac triggers, but Commander is in a place right now where I don't really care about taking it seriously. As a five-drop curve-topper in aggro decks, this card makes your opponents have strong reconsiderations for combat, and I love how the math changes. Swinging in becomes, well—more hopeful! Honestly, where the flavor is excellently executed, the gameplay fits more with the theme of the contest, in my opinion. And in a good way! You can always let your creature turn into chump-blockers if you need to make your swings, and that's the kind of strategy that I like to see rewarded.

@melancholia-ennui — Enduring Legacy

Lol @ the "Enduring" cycle from Duskmourn. I was just trying to think of where that cycle came from as I was looking at this card, and then it struck me. Not that this has anything to do with that, but all the same... I was thoroughly impressed the first time I read through it and I'm still impressed with it now. Of course, I think that it's an absolute nightmare to deal with, but that's also because I'm a hatebears fan, and I want to chain together Skyclave Apparitions and tutor with a sac outlet for my Adelines and Thalias. The more I talk about it the more I feel that this card could use a little less power somehow but for the time being, be thankful you can get away with me wanting to be evil. So, so evil.

Does that have anything to do with hope? Conceptually, not really, because this card may be a come-from-behind kind of deal but it's less about that and more about the celebration of life, I feel. The death is not so much death as it is a passing-on, and the representation here just happens to align with a gameplay strategy that my brain wants to, ah, "inflict on" other people more than "play with." That's okay, power is okay! Children and parents and society's passing-on of information and strength is indeed vital to the concepts at large. No knocking ya there.

@wildcardgamez — Tomorrow

What is Tomorrow? Tomorrow comes on a thousand thundering legs through the clouds. Tomorrow breaks the storm and the fog, devours the cold of night and whatever restlessness comes with its snapping predators. Tomorrow is the element that marries the celestial presence of awe and the solemn inner meditation of time's passage. Tomorrow bears eyes that always look forward and wings that always push yesterday's breath behind. Tomorrow will not last, but it will always return, even if you can't see it, even if sight has left you, even when the stars have traveled to other worlds, broken their paths, gone out with the moon and the towers and the hands that swore to you, silently, that they would be with you when Tomorrow arrived upon you and you alone.

But why a finality counter? I think a replacement effect might've been a little better for that one line of text; otherwise, yeah, it's a great card that speaks to a cycle (kinda, by past precedent) and makes me feel real good about opening it if I ever did. Miracles in various formats never really took off past that one Legacy deck, but hell, why can't we try again with bodies and whatnot? Creatures are the lifeblood of their formats. I love the sheer power put into this card, sincerely. It feels great to look at and great to play, I imagine. Miracle's a tough mechanic but it's so awesome here. Hope indeed! Hope indeed.

Runners on the horizon. @abelzumi

[degloved]

we're never getting reputation (taylor's version) and here's why:

1. the color-coding

taylor's discography is very obviously and deliberately color-coded, each album strongly associated with a particular color or shade. although there is some overlap (1989's light blue vs midnights' dark blue), the variations are distinct enough to avoid any confusion between them. in that sense, b&w is an extremely inflexible color assignment, on account of not being... well, not a color. b&w is b&w (not to be confused with folklore's grey; monochrome ≠ b&w), there aren't exactly many (or any, as it were) ways to stretch that palette to the extent it'd successfully take on an identity (album) of its own. which i believe blondie is aware of, and on that basis i believe it was a deliberate choice. and why? it's not as though she'd exhausted all of her options. there are colors she has yet to use, as well as different shades, tones, and tints of already used colors that would've been just as viable. why take this extremely particular and inflexible palette and, essentially, risk shifting that association from one album to another? unless she wasn't risking anything.

2. the pre-ttpd announcement period

as is customary for her, in the weeks before the official announcement of ttpd, all of taylor's social medias began taking on a b&w color scheme. the same had happened with purple and speak now (taylor's version), with light blue and 1989 (taylor's version), so on and so forth. a kind of unique mass-hysteria ensued as all signs pointed to reputation (taylor's version.) as it turned out, every last one of us was wrong in that assumption. if reputation (tv) were to drop, she'd have to go the b&w route again—which, for one, would in this case be predictable (we got bamboozled once, no way is it happening again) and that's very much not her style; and for two... there'd be no novelty. doing the same bit twice, really? not her!

3. the themes of reputation

reputation centered two core concepts: joe & falling out of public favor. a "good" thing and a "bad" thing. this would remain true for several years after the fact, yet no longer is—instead having turned into two "bad" things. i would not blame her if she chose not to return to this notably awful period of her life by way of re-recording, especially given the fact that the thing—person—that was once a shining star in all that proverbial darkness simply blends into the void with the way things are now. and while, yes, she had re-recorded songs about her exes, she'd only done so after a long while has passed. not only was this the longest relationship she's ever had and therefore likely uniquely devastating, the breakup itself is also very recent.

4. the contrast and the timing

and continuing the last point, only last year she'd dropped a couple devastating songs about this relationship on midnights, followed by more than a fair share of them on ttpd. doubtless she's still moving on/healing (judging by ttpd); i simply do not see her delving into an album that'd dredge up all those memories of the good times, the better times—not to mention that ttpd and rep are as antithetical to each other as it gets. if she'd recorded lover any earlier and had no ownership of it, for very similar reasons i wouldn't believe she'd re-record that one either.

4. the ttpd logo (NOT!!! my finding!)

now i never put much stock into this when i first saw it, as whoever had found it had taken it to mean "yay reputation (tv) soon!" and i simply did not agree. i actually thought it was a really freaky coincidence. bc, c'mon. let's be serious. however, i did realize it sort of fits remarkably well into my "ttpd is replacing rep because ttpd is reputation (taylor's version) in fewer words."

5. thanK you aIMee

kim? we're talking about kim now? who was maybe relevant around the year 2017? around the release of rep? oh. okay. i'm sure that means nothing

but that's just a theory... a game theory.

[transmascxielian]

song analysis of michael caine by madness in relation to siffrin!!

[plain text of title: song analysis of michael caine by madness in relation to siffrin!!]

having recently gotten into ISAT and spent considerable time with my qpp discussing songs that fit siffrin, I've come to the conclusion that it is SUCH a sif song. PLEASE hear me out on this (ive no idea if theres an overlap between isat fans and random british ska band fans but if there is then hi!)

putting this under a read more both because its gonna be long and contain spoilers for pretty much the whole deal with ISAT. also apologies if I fail to pick up my autocorrect making me type 'saffron'

okay so. chronologically through the song theres just a Lot that makes me think of him. this may entirely be a reach but im too big a fan of this song to mind :]

'he's walking where I'm afraid I don't know/I see the firemen jumping from the windows/there's panic and I hear somebody scream'-- immediately the sense of disorientation and confusion that goes throughout both the song and siffrin. also the lack of subjects in the last line (who's panicking/screaming?) further gives this sort of like. unanswered questions that I think really fits sif and their whole. deal

'he picks up useless paper and puts it in my pocket'-- this is sif in the sense of how throughout the loops they become far more disillusioned with how much anything really matters. it all starts to pale in comparison to escaping the loop, and this especially resonates with the complete tunnel vision in the final loop. ALSO the inconsistencies in the entire song between first and third person remind me of the recurring ideas of like. identity and losing touch with yourself throughout the game. idk. im not sure if that's the case with the actual meaning of the song but yknow

'he can't remember tell me what's his name'-- themes of identity and memory and losing yourself. yeah.

AND THE CHORUS ITSELF IDK. 'and all I wanted was a word or photograph to keep at home'-- obviously the photograph thing but that's very literal, plus the idea of 'home' both in the song and in ISAT. also the 'all I wanted' alluding to regretting whatever caused the loop? which obviously creates the sense of his wish only being to have some stability and not. Yknow. a massive time loop. but hey ho

'the sun is laughing, it's another broken morning'-- loop. sun/star comparisons to be drawn, and the connotations of 'broken morning' in the context of being forced back to the same morning (or should I say, afternoon? [: ) repeatedly. also the connotations of 'another' as something trapping you/repeating ad infinitum AGH its so siffrin

'I see a shadow and call out to try and warn him, he didn't seem to hear just turned away'-- this reminds me of the whole like. futility of sif not being able to meaningfully help the others and just,,,,, agh,,,

'he had to sacrifice his pride, yes, throw it all away'-- further themes of a loss of an integral part of identity. I see this through the lens of siffrin's attempts to leave the loop becoming more and more desperate to the point of willing to compromise anything (of himself) for escape. fun!!

'his days are numbered, he walks round and round in circles'-- Oh You Know. repetition and never finding escape. siffrin..... aside from the whole time loop deal this line is fun to me in this interpretation of 'his days are numbered' but as the different iterations of the loop growing in frequency as opposed to the traditional use of 'days being numbered'. idk I just love flipping idioms

'there is no place he can ever call his own'-- again the themes of identity and home (or lack thereof). sif having nowhere to return to is suchhh an inciting theme of the whole game and this just completely summarises that. I also especially note the 'very' and how it finalises the whole thing; his country is gone, his memories are gone, and unless Something stops it, his family will be gone as well. I need to lie down.

'staring out the window there's nothing he can do now/all he wanted was to remain sane/he can't remember his own name'-- final verse before the last choruses and dear lord. siffrin. again with just the whole,,, memory and desperation and resignation. one very very reaching bit of analysis here is the shift in pronouns/person between the 'I can't remember tell me what's his name' and 'he can't remember his own name'; the forgetting of the name switches from an external thing that almost doesn't hold much weight to something symbolising a complete loss in self. if I'm then applying this to sif's character arc, I think this really just shows how their relationship with memory becomes more fraught and more of a source of stress throughout the game.

SO!!! I absolutely adore both in stars and time and this song, and just think it fits him so well. do you see my vision

[miraluking-respectfully]

8 & 9 for Lyde and Antonia and 2 for the OC of your choice <3

3/3 on questions I was really hoping I would get, and about the characters I was hoping for them, too! O frabjous day

[questions here - inbox still open!]

8. Is their voice different to the voice of the character in-game, and if so, how?

Mostly no and a little bit yes. In my brain, Ántonia and Lyde sound more or less like Kari Wahlgren and Jo Wyatt in timbre, mostly because I think Wyatt's fake "Republic" accent makes her sound similar to Wahlgren. 

The biggest difference is probably Ántonia's accent, specifically. Wahlgren is doing this roughly non-regional American accent in her performance, which is par for the course with Republic characters; but Nia spent her formative years speaking in this upper-class Kaas City accent that would make it very easy for Imperial ears to place her. She tried very hard to lose that accent when she escaped to the Republic, but she still slips into it when she gets excited - if you've ever heard an American who's moved to England and unconsciously adopted the regional accent a little bit so they can be more clearly understood, it's a bit like that, only posh.

Meanwhile Lyde is kind of an accent chameleon and can do a really convincing performance of regional and non-regional accents from a number of worlds. I think her "default" is something very close to the received pronunciation of Wyatt's performance. Her ability to do a really convincing mimic of central Balmorran dialect is also part of why she got picked for the Gray Star mission.

9. What do they regard as their culture, & do they distinguish between their culture and heritage?

WOOF THIS IS A BIG ONE & honestly I will have say more on this in a separate post when I am not on a bus/have consumed more TOR Lore. But I'll do my best here.

Obviously these terms have a lot of overlap, but I will be considering “culture” in this context to mean the beliefs/customs/traditions they were/are steeped in and actively practice, and “heritage” to mean their associations with their species identity, family identity, and direct lineage. And that distinction is actually kind of significant for both of these characters.

The twins' upbringing was largely directed by their religious and powerful Sith mom, their religious and powerful Sith grandfather, and their deeply patriotic Imperial-born dad, who was literally a member of the Emperor's Guard. Reverence for power over weakness, and fealty to that power if you were considered weak, were big themes in their household. Sith art, philosophy, and even language was promoted over even Imperial culture. Lyde's lack of Force Sensitivity alienated her from this part of her family in a big way; trying to fill that hole is part of what drove her toward hardcore Imp patriotism, the military, and eventually Imperial Intelligence. Who knows - maybe in another life she might have followed in her dad's footsteps.

This all becomes very interesting when I specify that Lyde and Ántonia are not heirs to some grand Sithy dynasty. Their grandad was literally an ex-Jedi, who, blinded by arrogance, hungry for power, and disillusioned with his Order, became Sith and defected with his family. His adoption of Sith philosophy and culture is a conscious choice that he then inflicted on his descendants; in this way is the Aniteon heritage separate from their culture.

And as an adult, Nia once again bounced drastically in the other direction, embracing and adopting the culture of the Jedi as her own. It is both her chosen faith and philosophy, and also her attempt to correct a wrong. She views her grandfather's fall to the Dark Side and defection to the Empire as an aberration, some sort of horrible mistake in the fabric of destiny. Therefore, her existence as his descendant is her chance to "do it right" by combating agents of the Dark Side. In this way she has metabolized the Jedi mantra of bringing balance to the Force, but in this very flawed and individualistic manner that belies her Sith upbringing.

True enlightenment comes for her on Ossus, I think, where she finds joy and fulfillment in building community and preserving the Jedi way of life for the good those things foster on their own, and not as a strict counter to evil.

2. What companions from other class stories do they know or have connections to, pre-Zakuul/Alliance?

You only specified one random OC but you are getting Three <3

Savtas and Ántonia know literally all of each other's companions because they had semi-regular playdates all through their respective storylines. In particular, Nia got on really well with Nadia (who wouldn't?), and Savtas was very fond of T7, to the point where T7 being the third thing she saw after being popped out of carbonite was, like, a genuinely grounding experience.

Siolo and Andronikos knew of each other through Casey, but they didn't become more closely acquainted until he hired her to track down his wife (she ran off to have their child in a heavily-guarded fortress on a remote moon without telling him, you know, normal Sith stuff). And then they both realized his wife was Siolo's long-lost sister, Kaja. Small galaxy, amirite?