#of course assuming my application got through but trying would be fun

[rainyjackalope]

kinda wanna join a zine again

did it once and it was really neat but idk where to even begin and I know finding people that are comfy managing putting one together is hard. it's a lot of work! but damn it's really fun having one of my art pieces in a little book that I physically own (digital zines are good too)

I'd love to join one about queerness or specific aspects of it I'm part of or general furry ones or something

I'll have to look into it after this month

[eneiryu]

I find the idea of Alec (and admittedly the idea of Theo and Alec) really fascinating because of when he joined the pack and how we know?? Literally, nothing about him once the series ended?? So I was wondering what your favourite characterisations or headcanons are for your Alec, maybe some fun facts or reasons behind why you write him the way that you do because I honestly love the way that you write him, I would like to crumble him up and eat him so he is a part of me forever (in a non weird way, I just think about your Alec a lot and always want to know/read more about him)

Thank you! And would fully agree—part of what makes Alec interesting is that he’s a such a blank slate, given how little we know.

But as for my headcanons for him, I do like to think they’re rooted in the crumbs we got in the show. He’s awkward and has no idea how to be a werewolf because, like Scott, he was a completely human kid before he was bitten. He doesn’t have an alpha or a pack around him, and he’s being hunted. So, he’s alone, and terrified, both of the external forces—the hunters after him, being found out by the humans around him—and his internal struggles, e.g. being a werewolf when he doesn’t even originally know that’s what he is, losing control, etc.

And then Scott and Argent come along and rescue him, and (we assume) bring him back to help keep him safe while he figures out what to do next. And he gets introduced to the McCall pack chaos, which is chaos in the best way—warm and welcoming and filled with strays, just like him—and so now he can be awkward and terrified while no longer being alone, and the terror part can be worked on: he’s surrounded by people who get it, and who aren’t terrified of him, because they’re like him, or because they understand and accept and love people like him (and, maybe, him too, one day).

And then there’s Theo, of course, who I have extremely long and detailed headcanons for, built up over six years 😆 (seriously, what the hell). And I think Theo, as the stray accepted into the pack (even if he refuses to let himself see or believe it) right before Alec, would have a soft spot for him. Not to mention that Theo in general in my mind is looking for any and all opportunities to help make up for the things he’s done, and helping someone like Alec would be an obvious application. And—as has probably come through in some of my stories—I think Alec would be incredibly starved for all of that, and so would end up sort of helplessly drawn to Theo, even knowing—because of how obvious it is—that Theo is fully wrapped up in Liam.

And then there’s Nolan, which I realize you didn’t actually ask about. 😆 But the reason I ended up drawn to those two as a pairing, is because I think for both of them, Alec’s newness to being a werewolf would be something they share. Nolan ended up terrified of werewolves and the supernatural because of his experiences, but all of his experiences were with people who had come to terms with being a supernatural, and weren’t necessarily afraid of their own abilities or what they were. But Alec is, and I think that gives Nolan an opportunity to realize that not all supernaturals are the Beast, or even Scott or Liam or Theo. Some of them get thrown into this life as unwillingly as he did, and some of them are just trying to survive day by day, while maintaining their humanity. And that new perspective helps Nolan keep coming to terms with his new reality, and also his own past.

So anyway, those are some of my Alec thoughts, which do crack me up given we saw him for maybe five total minutes in the show. 😆 Thanks for giving me the opportunity to share!

[trainsinanime]

That post about titles vs last lines (which is harder) is really interesting, because I see so many people say last lines, and that's not the case for me at all. I feel like talking about that, so here's some thoughts on how I write my last lines. I do not think this is universally applicable, I'm not even sure it works that well for me, but maybe it's interesting.

First things first: The last line is easy because you already got the reader on your side. They read through the whole thing without pressing the back button, and they know everything that happened in it. That doesn't mean you can do a bad job here, but it means they're complicit. What you write here is an inside joke between you and them, more or less. You get to use a something you established earlier, a theme, an idea, a literal sentence or similar, and repeat it or play with it, or do a punchline on it.

For example: Everyone Knows Black Cats Are Bad Luck discusses the common fan idea that Chat Noir and/or Adrien is somehow unlucky due to the black cat Miraculous, through a discussion between Adrien and Plagg. It's a simple dialectic: Adrien presents the thesis (also given in the title). Plagg presents the counter-thesis: No, that's stupid. The synthesis (well, it's not a perfect synthesis, Plagg mostly just represents my views here) is the finale, where they both bond even deeper. And the final line distills that synthesis down, when Plagg says,

"Kid, just remember: If I were unlucky, I'd have never met you."

Another option is to humorously counter the story you told so far. Works well for silly stories. For example, in A Friend Like That, the whole story is telling us that Adrien is enamoured with Marinette, pays super-close attention to her, and doesn't even know that he's doing it. It's all about how he sees her, and how much he loves what he's seeing. The final line reverses that, when Marinette says,

“I don’t know. I just wish, you know, that he'd finally notice me.”

Honestly that line is cheating, I don't think Marinette would actually say that. But nobody's called me out on that yet, because it's such a useful punchline.

Another good option: Imply the whole thing is a bit cyclical. The very short Drabble Absence just literally ends the same way as it started, but now we have a completely new context, and what seemed eery and sad at the start (assuming you didn't read the summary or tags; the thing was a Tumblr post at first) is now fun and light-hearted and silly.

(I still deeply regret that I didn't end Marinette's Choice with Marinette feigning death again. The last line there is okay, but it's just one final joke in a story that is just a list of jokes. If Marinette had "died" again, the whole thing would have seemed like a closed narrative.)

How do you help a good friend? ends with

“Only one way to find out, Chaton. Try following that advice you keep getting and ask me out.”

That's a callback to the very start of the story, which makes it feel like a closed narrative, and also implies the start of something new.

Depending on the story, you can also just go weird with it. In The Haunting Spectre, the level of silliness starts strong and keeps rising, and that's really the key thing the story is about. So when we reached the end and have finally reached max silliness, the end just turns it up a notch, when Chloé asks Alya,

“Anyway, I’m fairly certain Adrien doesn’t know that Marinette is Ladybug, but do you think she knows he’s Chat Noir?”

Of course, the best ending line in any of my stories is in Rooftop Musings, although I feel like I can't give any credit for it since it isn't from me, it's stolen, and the whole story is built just to get to it. After a bit of Kagami wondering about Marinette, Adrien, and that one episode in season 3 that made everyone ship Adrigaminette, you know where they were on top of the hotel and everything, we end with the most bitter-sweet line that I and all old Tumblr users know:

Still, if she could, if she had any chance at all, there was only one thing she truly wanted: Spend an extra hour in the ball pit.

[ottiliere]

I like to periodically check in on ur blog because you do some of the best Dirk analysis out there and to come and find that since I last checked you posted both JTHM and psychonauts was so awesome, especially because me and one of my pals have been really into talking about both recently since I just bought the reissue of all 7 JTHM comics with extra content and he’s been playing psychonauts 2. I hope to see more of both on ur blog in the future (although please don’t feel pressured you’re content is always good anyways) !

ohh this is lovely to hear...have always felt like there's a through line between psychonauts 05 and jhonen's stuff. which does make sense given that they were made around the same relative time period! I'm assuming you're talking about the director's cut release of JTHM here...I believe this is the first physical copy of the comic i owned as well, it's really nice! have always been fond of how barebones the spine was, i'm sure some people don't like it but I kind of miss how charmless (using the word affectionately) a lot of the design was for books like this.

i wish i could say something nicer about psychonauts 2...I'm not a fan of haterism like that's just not what i care to put out into the world, especially on this blog. but i have to be completely honest with you and say i just did not enjoy this game. if it had been anything BUT a psychonauts sequel it would have been entirely inoffensive to me, but as a sequel it's just kind of incredible the extent to which the charm, style, humor, love, etc. of the first game was just, removed completely, with absolute surgical precision. very little traces of these things. it's fun to play and mostly nice to look at, a good game in all technical respects, but it's just not psychonauts 2005.

my friend dane davestriderdeathcult4568 has been my psychonauts buddy and was running through the first game again recently which is what made me get back into it... neither of us had really engaged with the sequel yet so i watched him play it and it was just; legitimately devastating. the state of the writing is so tragic i remember specifically there was a point at which we had to physically get up and and go stand around on the balcony outside for a while clutching our drinks and cigarettes in the wind looking up at the sky trying to recover emotionally. this sounds like a joke but it totally isn't this game made me so incredibly sad.

like initially i was a little worried my first impression was just nostalgia or something but talking around a little it really obviously...isn't. there's something really vital missing from psychonauts 2. a lot of really vital somethings actually. outside of the writing, even, like, glossing over how just objectively not good the story is....the character design is so egregrious held up to the designs of psychonauts 2005. it feels like they tried too hard to make everyone appealing and "cute"....but they all already were! there was so much lovability in the violent asymmetry and crooked strangeness of the original designs. raz is a great example of this here i think, in the second game he's too...puppy-cute, where in the first game he was cute like kind of an ugly little insect. that was special! and of course there's dear sasha....like look at this look AT this. i don't even know what to say :(

side note it must be said and i will admit that i was so was so upset about everything i was witnessing under dane’s hands that i went home and moped for days and days. and i couldn't even find sasha's p05 model uploaded anywhere and i became alighted with such a fervent spirit i learned specifically how to rip models and textures specifically to recover him (will upload soon of course). unrelated did you know his model is missing buttons when they’re specifically textured in his texture sheet....lost buttons of the world.

and of course i've got “wife” bias with sasha (a/n: he’s a clinically diagnosed homosexual) but I think this is applicable to pretty much every character we see. especially tertiary background characters got... I don't even know a word for this. the janky grotesqueness of the original style is just completely gone, you can see they tried to emulate some of that a little with the asymmetry but what remains is just barely a ghost of an idea of what made the 05's designs memorable. so much of pn2's design work is just absolutely forgettable like leaves no impression at all, and that wouldn't be such a crime if the first game wasn't so criminally without flaw. example:

I'm aware the sequel was in devhell for a while and a lot of this is probably the consequence of necessary streamlining. like i get it, of course I am sympathetic to this. but it doesn't make the final product any less tragic to me...if anything it's worse knowing that there could have been better designs somewhere in there along the line.

there's something to be said for the loss of atmosphere, too....like, the first game was so murky and oppressive; you really got the feeling of a humid, kinda dirty summer camp. all the angles and the spaces and the colors...it was compact in the best way, just absolutely as tightly woven as it needed to be. the low-quality background textures... lovely. the wide-openness of the second game is comparatively so personally uncompelling...it's beautiful and well-crafted but the world of psychonauts 2 lacks the misshappen crackedness of the 05 game. i'm not called to spend hours larping anywhere here...

there's so much more i could say on this, like i sincerely hope this doesn't come off as snotty or pretentious! it'd be one thing if this was just how i felt personally but dane myself and a few other friends have spent copious time idependently of one another poring over both the 05 game and the sequel and come to a lot of the same conclusions as to what's..."missing". the game isn't a complete trashfire and it has a whole handful or maybe even two of redeeming features, but that only makes it hurt more that it feels so devoid of life! loboto in particular is a highlight, like out of everyone i think he's the only character from the first game who truly benefitted from the transition to high resolution...which only goes so far because they shelved him so quickly. I think i actually cried watching him in the game he was so fucking wonderful, genuinely everything about him harkens the ambiance of the first game more than anything else present in the second. he is additionally one of my favorite characters of all time, so I’m... happy he got what he got, at least...

i'll probably end up talking about this again in a little more detail. i wish i could make peace with psychonauts 2 but manpower and research efforts seem to indicate that this is not possible. 2005 reigns undefeated, best game ever all time forever, accept no substitutes, you get the idea. regardless I hope your friend enjoys it still and does not allow this ersatz of love to corrupt their spirit and joie de vivre.

[superstrangerthings]

Sweetheart

Pairing: Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Summary: Eddie and Y/N have been flirting hard for weeks now, will tonight finally be the night that something more happens?

Word count: 3.1k

Warnings: Lots of flirting, slight dom!Eddie, oral (m receiving), fingering (f receiving), p in v sex, no condom, creampie

Author’s note: I’m back baby and ready to start smutting again

In the front of the car, Steve and Robin were once again arguing about something - probably women related. Usually, you would be all for joining in, they were your best friends after all, but tonight you had other things on your mind. You were currently on your way to pick up Dustin, Mike and Lucas from the school. More specifically, the Hellfire Club. And that meant, it was time to see Eddie Munson, the fearless, lovely, and incredibly hot leader of the club. 

The two of you had been shamelessly flirting now for weeks; in class, in the hallways, around the town, and of course, when picking up the boys from their D&D sessions. At this point, if the flirting continued much longer, you’d just assume that you’ve made a new friend rather than anything more serious. Which would be great too, but maybe this would finally be the day that the flirting turned into something more…

“Y/N!” Robin’s shout tore you from your daydreams and back into reality.

“Sorry, I - uh, yes?” 

“We were just discussing the highlights,” she rolled her eyes as she spoke, “of Stevie’s dating life. What’s got you so quiet? You’re usually all ears for these kinds of delights.”

Steve scoffed. “She’s obviously thinking about her next flirt battle with Eddie Munson.”

Robin laughed knowingly, “Of course! Who will come out on top this time? Or will there actually be any coming on top at all?” 

“Hey!” You tried to be serious, but couldn’t help laughing along. “It’s all just good fun, you know.”

“Whatever you say.” Steve and Robin both raised their hands in mock defeat.

It wasn’t long until you parked and the three of you made your way over to the pillars by the school entrance. The sky had mostly gone dark, but the dull lamps allowed for an eerie glow to float through the cold air of the parking lot. You could almost see your breath in the air in front of your face. That meant that Steve was going to whine about you staying outside talking to Eddie for too long, which was a bummer. 

All of a sudden, the school doors burst open with a flurry of energy. The boys all crowded out of the doorway in a mad rush of shouts and shoves and laughter. Dustin, Mike and Lucas all said hi to you as they walked past and made their way into Steve’s car, or at least that was what Steve was trying to get them to do. But you weren’t focusing on that at all, because the main event had just begun. 

“Hello sweetheart.” Eddie grinned as he waltzed out the door, behind all the other boys, and made his way over to the pillar you were leaning against. 

“And who said that I was your sweetheart?” You replied with a smirk hidden behind faux shock. 

“Well you see,” holding onto the pillar with one hand, he swung round until his face was just above yours, “I would have sent a formal application, but my stationary set doesn’t come until next week and I didn’t want to wait that long.”

Suppressing your schoolgirl giggles was difficult, you were trying to remain sexy, but not clamping your thighs together at his words was even harder. His face was only inches away from your own, and the way that he looked down at you with those big eyes…

“If you had asked you could’ve borrowed mine!” You exclaimed playfully. “I’m always available to help my favourite Dungeon Master.”

“Will’s feelings are going to be hurt.” Mike was shouting over from Steve’s car. You then turned to realise that they were all watching your interaction with Eddie from the car. Apart from Steve who, as per usual, was being a bit more cautious and so was standing just outside the car, ready to pounce into action if he so needed. 

“Actually Y/N,” your head whipped back round to listen to Eddie, “I could do with some of your help, now that you’ve so kindly offered.”

You smiled widely, “Of course Mr Munson.” A fake curtsy made him laugh.

“You see, I missed our last one, or five, math classes, and I need some help with catching up.” 

Excitement raced through your veins as you realised this might actually be your shot. It was slightly dampened though by the worry that maybe this was just the two of you becoming friends rather than anything more.

“I don’t know when you’re free, but let me just check.” Eddie looked comically hard at his watch. “Yeah, I have nothing else to do this evening. Only if that suited you?” 

He reached out to lightly brush his fingertips on your upper arm. The breath caught in your throat as you willed your expression not to betray the feeling between your legs that was becoming less and less avoidable. 

Embarrassingly, you had to clear your throat before continuing, “I think that should suit me just fine.” You smiled even though you couldn’t take your eyes off of his lips, thinking about what else you could be doing with your mouth. 

Eddie grinned back down at you and then looked up towards Steve. “Harrington, I hope you don’t mind if I borrow this lovely lady for a while. Don’t worry I’ll make sure she gets home perfectly safe.”

Steve squinted at the two of you briefly before reiterating, “Perfectly safe Munson, or else.” 

You glanced briefly at the boys and Robin to wave goodbye when you realised that they were all making over the top kissing faces out the windows. You giggled to yourself and just hoped that Eddie didn’t see them. Finally you waved to Steve, “I’ll let you know when I’m home safe momma Steve, don’t worry.” He rolled your eyes, but still sent you a smile before getting into the car and driving off. 

Eddie lightly gripped your hand, as if asking your permission. “On we go Miss Y/L/N.” 

—-------

Eddie’s trailer was empty when you arrived, thankfully. You didn’t really fancy having to stay quiet if anything did happen between the two of you. The night had fully come in now and there weren’t many lights on in the surrounding trailers. Usually, you wouldn’t feel so comfortable in a situation like this but there was something about Eddie that made you at ease.

“Welcome to casa del Munson.” Eddie said with that perpetual grin, swinging the door open for you with ease. 

“And what a wonderful abode it is.” All of a sudden you didn’t really know what to do with yourself. You’d stepped into the trailer, but you were still trying to figure all of this out. Was this friendly or was it something a bit more? Should you try to initiate or wait for Eddie to do something? Thankfully, you weren’t left in the lurch for too long.

“My math books are in my bedroom, if you don’t mind sitting in there with me?” Underneath his smirk there was a look of searching, searching to make sure he wasn’t making you uncomfortable. 

“Lead the way.” You threw him a wide smile to let him know that this was more than fine with you. 

You followed him into the bedroom. Your heart was beating so loud, it was all you could hear. In an attempt to distract yourself you walked over to the guitar hanging on the wall. 

“She’s a beauty isn’t she?”

Before you could even nod, Eddie was standing so close behind you that any movement would leave the two of you pressed together. He reached out, you thought to touch the guitar but then he gently put his fingers under your chin. His fingers slowly led you to look up at his face. His eyes bored down into yours, his mouth hanging open ever so slightly. The air in the room seemed to thicken, and heat up, considerably. 

“Sweetheart.” His tone of voice made your knees weak. “Please just say stop if I’ve got the wrong idea.” 

His lips were only a handful of inches away from your own. Your skin felt like it was going to sizzle off your bones if you waited much longer. 

“Please don’t stop.”

And with that, he spun you round to face him and connected your lips with his. One hand was on the back of your neck, the other on your hip, pulling you into him as hard as he could. His tongue had made its way past your lips and was getting entangled with your own. Just when you thought you couldn’t feel any more alive with energy, you felt his erection pressing into your stomach. It felt as though it was going to burst free from his jeans. 

You snaked your hands into, what was now, very little space between you and him, and grabbed him over the fabric. His kissing stopped momentarily for him to let out a deep groan.

“Y/N, fuck, I need you so badly. These weeks of build up have been far too long.” His hand that had been on our neck had now moved down to grab your ass. 

“I’m so glad that you wanted this too.” Every word you spoke caused your lips to brush against his, neither of you could bear to move any further away. All the while, your hand was still running up and down his length, small moans falling from his lips.

“Me wanting you started long before these weeks of flirting.” 

Before you could ask what he meant, his lips were sucking on your neck. Meanwhile, he pulled your skirt up and placed his fingers over your clothed clit, which made you let out some high pitched moans of your own. It was so hard to focus with him rubbing you vigorously over your panties, but you knew that you needed him naked. 

Between moans and shivers of pleasure, you managed to strip him of his denim jacket and hellfire club t-shirt. He took a small step back, and your eyes couldn’t study his naked torso fast enough. This was more than you could have ever imagined.

“Strip for me Y/N.” He said as he began to unbutton his jeans.

Without any hesitation, you seductively pulled your sweatshirt over your head to reveal a black lacy bralette. His jeans were now off, his hand taking over your job of touching him through his underwear. 

“Is it bad that I wore this specially?” You looked up at him through your eyelashes as you playfully squeezed your boobs. 

He tore his eyes from your chest to smirk at you. “Bad wouldn’t be the word I would use. Naughty perhaps, but I can always punish you another time.”

You felt as though you could just melt into a puddle on the floor. Continuing the stripping, next was your skirt, then shoes and socks, leaving you just in the matching underwear set. 

“Shit Y/N, I could blow my load right now just looking at you.” He stepped forward again to put a hand on your lower back and pull you into a passionate kiss. Breaking free for just a moment, he pulled the bralette over your head and groaned at the sight of you. 

“Eddie, let me help you now. That’s what I came here to do after all.” You gave him a fake look of innocence before winking and sinking down onto your knees. 

“Oh fuck, I thought the hardest thing was having to hold myself together around you before this, but this is a whole new level of struggling.” He let out a choked laugh.

You smiled back up at him. “Well, let’s just say, I’m glad that I don’t have a finite amount of orgasms.” 

Something about hearing how much you wanted him too, made him twitch uncontrollably in his underwear. You took that as your cue to pull them down. Eddie let out a small gasp as his dick was finally freed from its constraints. Your head spun with lust as you couldn’t hold yourself back any longer. 

You grabbed his dick at the base, and swallowed the rest of his length into your mouth. Without thinking, he grabbed onto the back of your head and moaned lowly. You were glad that Eddie was so vocal for you, and made a mental note to make him moan as much as possible. 

Bobbing your head and your hand with the same motion was making his thighs shake as you held them with your free hand. His precum was salty on your tongue. Your self control was waning as your lustful thoughts screamed for you to make him cum in your mouth right now.

As if reading your mind, Eddie slowly pulled himself out of your mouth and helped you to stand up. “If you do that much longer, we’re going to miss out on the grand finale.” He let out a shuddering breath. “Lie on the bed for me sweetheart.” 

You didn’t need to be told twice. The sheets were cold against your back, but the feeling was more than welcome as your skin still felt like it was burning. Eddie slowly pulled your panties down your legs, letting the cold air rush in and hit your soaking pussy. 

“Oh Y/N, is this really all for me?”

“Of course it is, you don’t think these weeks of build up have been agony for me too?” You joked. “I need to give my right hand a break.” 

Eddie’s eyes flared up with lust. “Now that’s something I want to see, but for right now I can help with your rest.”

Before you knew it, two of his fingers were pushing into your entrance. You had no control over the noises that were leaving your mouth at that moment. Everything exploded into a blur of pleasure. 

“Fast and hard or slow and deep?” He asked, pushing his fingers slowly into you until his knuckles were pressing against your skin. 

“I need you Eddie,” you moaned, “please give it to me fast.” 

You didn’t have to wait long before your pussy was getting pounded. You clamped your hand over your mouth, afraid that screaming might be a bit too much. 

“Let it all out sweetheart. I’ll deal with any complaints later.”

You looked down at his perfect face, so focused on making sure you felt good. Removing your hand from your mouth, you grabbed the sheets. Everything felt so good, almost too good. His fingers, his hair bouncing against your thighs, his other hand on your ass holding you steady. 

“Shit, I’m going to cum.” You tried to lower your volume to no avail. 

“Please cum all over me Y/N, I want to feel you clenching on my fingers.”

The last straw was when you saw him mindlessly thrusting his own hips into the bed, so desperately wanting you. Your orgasm ripped through your body as you began to convulse, and yet Eddie didn’t slow one bit. Pleasure made you dizzy as your orgasm seemed to last forever. Eventually you had to grasp Eddie’s hands to stop him.

“I’m going to pass out if you keep going like that.” You said through heavy breaths. 

He moved up the bed to kiss you deeply. His hips rest on the back of your thighs as you raise your legs instinctively to let him in. The tip of his dick running up and down your entrance made you squirm with anticipation, but you also didn’t want to break from the kiss. So instead, you pushed your heels into his lower back and guided him towards your pussy. 

“Such a needy girl, I love it.” Eddie grinned. His dick was throbbing against your entrance.

“And you’re not needy?” 

“I never said that.” And then he was sliding deep inside you. Guttural noises came from the both of you, prompting you to resume making out. By the time Eddie was fully inside you, you were already bucking your hips up in search of more friction. 

His lips broke away from yours, and in anticipation of his question you said, “I need you to fuck me as hard as you can Eddie Munson. I need you to make me your sweetheart.” 

From the look on his face, you almost thought he’d cum just from that. But then his hips were driving himself hard and fast inside you. Your hands gripped his back harshly, sure to leave him marked up for some time. One of his hands was beside your head while the other gripped onto your boob, as if he needed it for even more leverage. 

You could feel every sensation from the pressure of his lips on yours, to his sheets tickling your back, to the bruising force of his hips thrusting into you. Ecstasy filled every part of your body, centring on the feeling of Eddie’s raw dick dragging in and out of your pussy. 

He felt you tighten as if you were on the verge of orgasm again, so he stopped kissing you and looked deeply into your eyes once again.

“I’m going to fill you so full of my cum that you’ll be leaking for a week, but I need you to cum for me too sweetheart. I need it right now.”

Then the dams broke, your back arched, your eyes rolled into the back of your head and all of your muscles convulsed with pleasure. Mid orgasm you felt Eddie’s dick spurting uncontrollably inside you, his groans so deep that you felt them in your bones. 

As you both came down from your extraordinary highs, Eddie slowly pulled out of you and fell onto the bed beside you, making sure to still remain close.

“You weren’t kidding about the amount of cum. I can already feel it coming out of me.” You giggled.

He leant over so that his face was in view. Carefully he held your cheek in his hand, his eyes running up and down your face while he smiled.

“Well before I get you a towel for that predicament, can I ask you something?” He asked sweetly. You nodded, hoping that it wasn’t anything bad. “Would you like to, maybe, make this more of a regular thing?”

You felt slightly deflated, but would still be glad to spend more time with him. “You mean like friends with benefits?”

“I was thinking more like… boyfriend and girlfriend?”

A grin spread across your face and you pulled him in for a kiss. 

“I’d like that very much.”

[3laxx]

Maternal Feelings

There she was.

Her tiny granddaughter.

She had a bit lighter skin than Luz and just about Amity’s hair color. And she was so damn tiny.

Eda found herself getting scared, suddenly. This was a really small kid. This was like, a stupidly small child. She would not hold that baby for any number of snails.

---

Eda meets her newborn grandddaughter for the first time.

I don't know man I'm just chucking out words rn like I'm running from something.

But I had this thought of Eda meeting a very small child and my stupid brain was like "We can do that instead of sleeping" xD

So yeah, have this incredibly fluffy oneshot about Eda coming to terms with her Momma feelings and adjusting to being a grandma.

I just really wanted Eda to get emotional over a baby

Don't even ask Idk

Have fun reading! <3

Ao3 / FF.net

---

Eda had never been the most maternal.

Not in her youth, not when she had found King, and not when she had sort of adopted and sheltered Luz until she had graduated and been able to stand on her own two feet.

Not when King had taken her name and not when Amity had asked her for Luz’s hand, which had in truth just been a mockery of her parents’ traditions and had given Eda nothing more than an excuse to drink some apple blood with her future daughter-in-law.

Of course, she had seen Luz as a daughter at some point, had called herself her mother, had cared for her.

She had made their meals, had helped Luz with the homework – even if that had disgusted her – she had taught Luz and King everything she knew, she had tucked King in, cared for Luz when she had gotten sick or sad. She had of course done everything in her power to make sure her kids were content and happy.

That didn’t mean she had felt as though she was a mother. She had liked pretending to be the sort of crazy aunt, in charge of all the bad decisions.

But she had never seen herself as maternal.

Well, she supposed that came from not really setting any rules. When she had been younger, she had always been under the impression that mothers had to set rules, educate their children, and raise them. She had never really raised King or Luz.

She had just sort of made them laugh, given them food, and then they hadn’t left anymore. Like the free-loaders they were. Kind of like pests, actually.

It had always made them laugh if she had called them that. It had made her laugh.

Because she loved them, of course. She didn’t know love alone could turn her, the irresponsible, free-spirited wild witch a mother.

She supposed she had been a mother for King and Luz. Without setting rules, without all the raising stuff. She supposed her kids had turned her the littlest bit maternal.

Was it normal for friends to stay up at night and change the cold applications on Luz’s forehead in the hopes of bringing her fever down? Was it called caring and loving when she went out of her way to get King’s favorite toy, to get Luz the food she could actually digest, to make sure King was free of fleas and bathed and tucked in at night?

Did it make her a mother if she risked her own life to ensure they could lead a happy life?

Eda never knew the line between loving, as friends, and maternal.

Raine had started calling her out on her maternal feelings once she got the littlest bit protective of Luz.

Well, it wasn’t her fault that everything made her jump after Belos had almost – had, in fact – killed Luz on the day of unity. It wasn’t her fault that she woke up at night in a cold sweat, rushing to check on her daughter in the room next to hers sleeping peacefully, only to return to a sleepy Raine dazedly grinning at her with a smug, shit-eating expression of “Told you so”.

Every time, they would roll over their mattress in her nest and wrap an arm around her waist and tell her she was such a sweet mother.

Well, she was. She was the Momma of the Owl House.

But maternal?

Eda supposed she was.

After all, even if friends would do the same as her, a mother would make sure everything stayed safe and protected in her house. Making sure there was food on the table that Luz could eat. Making sure King was feeling loved, despite having discovered his past.

Making sure Luz had all her school materials, spending money on icky, stupid books. Giving her an allowance. Keeping her and King safe.

Well, Eda had never really tried finding a definition for maternal. All the love she had gained for King and Luz had just been that to her – love. And it had been enough.

She had loved calling herself Momma and had loved treating Luz like her daughter and King like her son, and she had loved calling them her kids. She just supposed the word itself – maternal – didn’t exactly describe what she was. She, herself, as Eda the Owl Lady, the most powerful witch on the Boiling Isles, an agent of chaos and the most daring criminal history had ever seen.

She had just assumed a mother wouldn’t call herself these titles.

Seemed like her view of a mother had been wrong.

Any person could be a mother, a parent, a father, or anything remotely close to this. And she supposed, caring for Luz and King, taking them in, giving them food, kind of did make her a maternal person, while never losing her pride as a criminal and generally irresponsible person.

A mother.

Well, whatever a mother was, or whatever maternal feelings were, or whatever she defined herself at and whatever she did for Luz and King.

Here she found herself, fidgeting next to her spouse, her excited teenage son in tow who was already towering over her height, in front of the healer’s coven building.

Whatever a mother was, she would probably feel that way. Well, Camila – Luz’s other mother – next to her other side was buzzing in excitement just as much as she was. The two women exchanged a glance before Camila gave her a small smile and she felt Raine taking her hand.

King gave a groan when he finally placed his claws on Eda’s and Camila’s shoulders and pushed them up the three steps into the main entrance, rolling his eyes.

After Belos had been taken down – after he had actually very much killed Luz, Eda had just brought her back to life – Luz and her friends had taken on graduation while the Boiling Isles had experienced a change in the government. Covens were no longer used to steal or limit magic. Instead, they had been used as a way to form a working parliament, with an elected group of government heads. After the gang had graduated, Luz had worked towards getting a way back home while helping establish a stable government form from the makeshift temporary one they had managed to create after Belos’ defeat. Luz had actually helped them quite a bit by telling of experiences made in the human realm, where politics were apparently a lot more twisted than here on the Isles.

Eda and Lilith had been elected as part of the group forming the government, even if Eda had dropped out after one or two periods, while her sister had taken charge like it had been the most natural thing for her.

Discovering that politics hadn’t really been up to her alley – she was way more interested in rebellions than anything else – she had begun building a legal business since she didn’t have to fear being captured anymore. It had gone pretty well.

Raine had started working in the government as well as Amity, while Luz had started working to mastering all forms of glyphs she could find, admitting her studies to the academics, and shortly after, had been offered to become a teacher at Hexside by Bump to teach magicless witches and demons glyph magic.

After traveling the Isles and working on her studies, Luz had accepted and finally settled down with Amity. It really hadn’t been a surprise to Eda when Amity had come to her and Raine with a ring and asked them to marry Eda’s daughter.

After already asking Camila that is.

Eda faintly felt King pushing her into the cool building that smelled like disinfectant – a nifty cleaning drug from the human realm that Luz had introduced them to – before hearing herself asking the receptionist where the room of the Noceda-Blights was.

A kind of bored-looking demon sighed and looked the room number up in the list, before pointing them in the direction. Again, Eda’s feet felt like they had been planted into the tiles below her.

Only after Raine gave her a light push, she moved again.

So, the world now had some sort of order. Nobody was forced into covens anymore, and the coven seals had been removed, setting the magic free again.

Raine and she had married shortly after her daughter had accepted Amity’s proposal, and now, ten years after Luz had first set foot on the Boiling Isles chasing after her book, Eda found herself feeling more maternal than ever. Whatever that meant.

Her hands were fidgety, and not even Raine’s steadying grip could calm her. Camila tried not to look around too much, even after so many years of knowing the Boiling Isles and having visited her daughter regularly, she still wasn’t used to all of it.

Stopping in front of their room, Eda tried breathing through. King sighed again, but Raine shot him a glare and he shut up. At least her spouse understood that this was a big step for her. Looking to her side, Camila tried another smile and Eda nodded at her.

“If you want to, you and King can go ahead. I’ll-… I still need a minute.”

More than willing, Camila accepted. She knocked, and upon hearing Luz’s call, she stepped in. Eda shuffled to the side to let King through, so he could duck through the doorframe and maneuver his broad shoulders in without hitting anything. The door closed and Eda breathed through once more, feeling Raine’s grip tightening.

“How do you feel?”

Shooting them a grin, Eda turned, shrugging and trying to play it cool, “Old, honestly.”

Laughing, Raine pulled her aside to the row of chairs and made her sit down.

“No, I mean, how do you feel about Luz and Amity?”, they tried again and Eda sighed, staring at the blank wooden door with the small eighteen next to it.

“… Proud. I’m proud of them for making this commitment.”, looking back to Raine, she added, “And kind of scared. I haven’t really been the most-… Well, involved.”

Unimpressed, Raine lifted an eyebrow.

“… You’re kidding, right?”

Groaning, Eda shrugged again and leaned back, before closing her eyes, resting her head against the wall.

“I-… I never made the commitment they made. King has his father and Luz has her mother. I was more a friend to them than a mom. Sure, I liked seeing myself that way, and they liked seeing themselves as my kids, but-… It was fun having them. King had always been mostly independent and Luz was already a teenager when I met her. I’ve never-… Well, been around-…”

Raine softly placed their hand on Eda’s hands that she had folded in her lap and when she opened her eyes again, the gaze of her spouse was humored.

“Come on, Eda. How hard can it be to be a not-grandmother?”, at the joke, Eda groaned, “It’s not much different to being a not-mom to your kids.”

Grumbling, she got up again before straightening her back and nodding.

“You know what, you’re right. That kid is family now and whoever the hell cares what a mother or a grandmother is.”

A little confused, Raine got up after her and pumped a fist, albeit half-heartedly.

“That’s the spirit?”, they laughed and Eda huffed, before knocking and getting her own call to be let in.

The room was warm and humid. Eda let in Raine and quickly closed the door after them, not to let too much of the warmth escape, before turning back to her daughter.

Luz looked tired when she approached them.

Well, that wasn’t a surprise, given that she and Amity had arrived in the hospital two days ago before their little daughter had been born just this morning in the earliest hours. She had probably been awake all this time to be there for Amity.

Giving Eda a big hug, she nuzzled her face into the crook of her mother’s neck, before deeply breathing out. Eda could tell that Luz had just overcome a big step for herself.

“… I’m glad you’re here…”, she breathed and Eda wrapped her arms around the now-grown woman, tilting her own head into the embrace. The younger witch snuggled close while Raine squeezed past them to join Camila and King around the crib next to Amity’s bed.

Eda tried so hard not to cry.

This was a happy occasion and she would sure as hell not shed a tear about this. Just when she pressed a little kiss to Luz’s head, a tear rolled into her dark curls as well. Well, there went this promise.

“I’m proud of you, kid.”, she whispered and Luz held her tighter, smiling against her neck, “I’m so, so proud of you. If you ever need some help, I’ll do my damn best to provide.”

Sniffling, Luz nodded, before parting from her.

The exhaustion was evident on her face. She wiped her cheek before Eda placed a hand on her shoulder and caught her gaze. They exchanged a silent smile, then she looked up and around her daughter to her future daughter-in-law on the bed, obviously exhausted as well.

Amity gave a small wave, but it was obvious to see she was under the influence of some strong sedatives. That was the logical thing to do, Eda supposed, to keep her from acting protective over her child while all her family and friends wanted to meet the newest family member.

Witches only carried six months until giving birth, before incubating their pup for another three months. Which was why this room was so damn hot.

But upon giving birth, new mothers would also become a lot more protective of their pups than humans would. Luz had been new to all of this and Eda had had to educate her on the reproduction of witches, because Amity had been too busy laughing. Well, Eda had laughed as well, but not as hard as Luz’s fiancé.

Looking back to her daughter, she finally noticed the bandage she was wearing around one hand. Smirking, she gestured to that.

“Don’t tell me your weak nerd arms gave in.”, she joked and Luz huffed, rubbing the bandage with the healing sticker.

“Amity just had to transform her hand into a damn abomination while in labor. Seriously, who even does that? She sliced my hand right in half.”, grumbling, she looked back to her fiancé and gave her a small smile before looking back to Eda, “I almost missed the birth because the healers had to patch me up first. But there won’t even be a scar because they had my hand reattached just a second after it happened.”

Still grinning, Eda punched her shoulder, then Luz leaned closer to her, lowering her voice.

“Just don’t tell Mami. She’d lose her cool.”

Shaking her head and laughing, Eda walked past her.

“I won’t, don’t worry.”, after making her way around the bed, she sat down on the edge and caught Amity’s dazed gaze, taking her hand after permission, “Hey Minty. How’re you feeling?”

“… ’M good.”, the young witch slurred, trying a small smile, before breathing through and looking to the side where she kept her pup in view, “… Tired.”

Eda nodded, cupping her hand with both of hers, before softly patting the back of her hand.

“Lily will be here this afternoon to look after you two. Your siblings are still in Latissa on Government business, they asked me to tell you because they couldn’t get a hold of you. But they’ll be back tomorrow.”

She could tell that was a lot of information for Amity to process so she made a note to tell Luz as well. Leaving the witch to try and observe the room again – probably to make sure it stayed safe for her pup – she turned to the crib now finally.

There she was.

Her tiny granddaughter.

She had a bit lighter skin than Luz and just about Amity’s hair color. And she was so damn tiny.

Eda found herself getting scared, suddenly. This was a really small kid. This was like, a stupidly small child. She would not hold that baby for any number of snails.

Camila seemed a lot more comfortable around the baby, though. She had respected Luz’s wish to leave her in her crib for the time being, so Amity could get used to so many people around her pup so suddenly, but she was already reaching in and brushing the tiny thing over her cheek.

Well, okay, that seemed easy enough. Eda could do that, someday, when the kid was like twelve or something.

King and Luz were talking about something while Raine looked just about as amazed by the small creature as Camila was.

Sensing their amazement and figuring that Raine didn’t exactly have that much experience with children, either, Camila took the hand of Eda’s spouse and guided them down into the crib, brushing their knuckles against the incredibly soft skin of the baby’s cheek.

Amity didn’t even flinch at that. Either the sedatives were really strong or she felt incredibly comfortable with the people in the room. Looking back to the young witch, Eda confirmed the latter. Through half-lidded eyes, Amity was leaning back against the pillow, her other hand that was not held by Eda draped across her belly, while she was calmly watching Camila guiding Raine’s hand against the infant’s cheek.

She wondered how much Amity had actually adopted Luz’s family as her own once her parents had been imprisoned for their crimes against the public.

Judging by her calm reaction, she didn’t mind them being around her and her loved ones in the slightest, even in the now starting incubation period. Finally, Luz leaned around King and reached into the crib to lift her little daughter up and cradling her close to her chest. The baby didn’t even wake up, which made Eda chuckle.

“She’s got your sleeping habits, kid.”

Amity’s hand in hers shook when she started laughing alongside the older witch and Luz flushed in deep red when her mother confirmed.

“Sometimes, not even me shaking her would wake her up to school.”, Camila added and Luz huffed, bopping the infant in her arms.

“You guys are being mean to me in front of my daughter.”, she tried pouting, but King deadpanned.

“In front of your sleeping daughter. She won’t hear any of this.”

They started laughing again while Luz couldn’t suppress a little smile herself while looking down at the infant. When they had all quieted down a little, Luz pressed a soft kiss to her daughter’s forehead, before approaching Camila. Shooting a gaze towards Amity first to ask her permission, she then placed the baby in her mother’s arms and kept her hand cupped on the baby’s head, smiling.

“That’s your abuelita, mija.”, Luz mumbled softly and Eda almost felt her own heart breaking with the light sniffle Camila gave. After all these years of calling Luz her mija, Luz starting to use that label for her own daughter now made the human tear up.

While Camila greeted the little pup, Eda turned back to Amity whose head was softly nicking every time her eyelids fell. She had to be exhausted.

Tugging on her hand, Eda got her attention, then she lightly pushed the crib away to get up and adjust Amity’s pillow for her.

“C’mon, let’s get you lying down. We’ll take care of your pup.”

A sleepy gaze crossed with Eda’s but before Amity could object, the older witch was already adjusting the settings of the mattress to be flat again, before helping Amity lie down on her side.

“You can stay awake for as long as you want, but you should be comfortable with it at least.”, shooting her a grateful gaze, the younger witch yawned, then she adjusted the blanket around her future daughter-in-law and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, “Don’t worry about your pup, okay? Luz is taking care of her.”

That seemed to soothe Amity. She mumbled a soft “thank you” towards Eda and curled up a little, before continuing to watch the scene before her, the blinking of her eyelids already getting slower.

When Eda turned back to Camila, she discovered that Luz had taken her daughter back already and was safely cradling her before going around the crib and catching Eda’s gaze.

She knew that Luz wanted her to say hi, too.

“Luz, I’m not so sure about holding-”

Chuckling, her daughter adjusted the baby, before taking Eda’s hand.

“You can greet them like this first if you don’t wanna hold her. Or you can sit down if you like.”

Huffing, Eda fidgeted shortly, before rubbing her hands together and breathing through.

“Just, uh-… Sitting would be nice. I’m-… Holding the bat kids was an entirely different thing, you know? They could fly. Your kid can’t fly.”

Luz had to laugh at Eda’s rambling, pulling on her hand, she ushered King out of the chair by the window, before letting her adoptive mother sit down in it. Camila helped out by placing a pillow on Eda’s lap, then she was all set. Luz studied her face again.

“If you’re too nervous, you don’t have to hold her. I can hold her over your lap if you want to.”

Trying to wave her off, Eda forced a laugh.

“Pfft, you can just say you don’t trust me holding a baby, kid.”, she tried to joke around, but Luz just gave her a smile.

“If you feel uncomfortable, you don’t have to. That’s all I’m saying.”

But Eda wanted to. She definitely did kind of want to hold the tiny fragile baby that Luz had made together with her fiancé. Even if she was nervous and a little bit scared and so amazed by how small such a tiny thing could actually be, she did kind of want to hold that baby. Patting the pillow, she finally breathed through, then she opened her arms.

“Okay, I’m ready. Bring it, kid.”

Smirking at her antics, Luz leaned in and kneeled, then she slowly placed the baby in Eda’s arms. It was so tiny. It was so stupidly tiny, it wasn’t even as long as Eda’s forearm. Hiccupping, the older witch instinctively cradled the tiny, tiny infant in her arms and a warm feeling overcame her.

A really warm feeling.

If that was maternal feelings, then Eda swore she was going to be the best dang grandmother she could be for that child.

She brushed over her temple and the baby squirmed slightly. Apparently, she had woken up sometime during Camila holding her and was now kind of fighting against the snug swaddle blanket she was trapped in. Eda didn’t even notice she had tears in her eyes when she already felt the first tear rolling down her cheek.

“Wow… You’re my granddaughter now, hm?”, she asked and that tiny thing yawned, her arms struggling in the swaddle, before softly smacking her incredibly small lips. Eda found herself smiling immediately, “Titan, that’s new.”

Luz’s hands undid the blanket that was wrapped around the baby, then Eda laughed tearily when the infant stretched, her absolutely tiny fists stretching up to her face and rubbing her cheeks. She was apparently waking up and while she knew that incubating infants didn’t open their eyes yet, she found herself wondering what eye color the child would have. Adjusting the baby, she cradled them closer, then she smuggled a finger into the fist and giggled in delight when the baby grabbed it, despite not wanting to open the fist at first.

Looking up to Luz, who was still kneeling in front of her, she managed a smile, her teary expression probably matching the one on her daughter’s face.

“She’s perfect, Luz. But, let’s be honest, you two made a stupidly small baby.”

Laughing under tears, Luz nodded then she brushed over her daughter’s head and pressed a small kiss to her forehead to which the baby responded with a huff.

“Yeah, when I first held her, I was so scared she’d just slip right through my arms. But I think Amity would have killed me if I had so much as stumbled so I concentrated really hard not to let that happen.”

Eda’s gaze shot up from her granddaughter to her future daughter-in-law who was calling from the bed, her words slurred from the sedatives and sleepiness, but still very much poised if needed.

“… You better not drop our child, Luz.”

Raine had to laugh at that and went to soothe the new mother, while Eda turned back to the baby in her arms with a smile.

“Titan she’s small…”

The following few minutes were pretty much filled with tearful giggles and a very excited King who almost knocked the crib over when Luz called him to say hi as well. When Eda and King had calmed down a little, Camila had taken Luz outside for a little mother-daughter walk in the nearby park and King had gone with them for snacks. The older witch got up and carried the baby back to the crib, smiling when she lifted them up to her face. Resting her forehead against theirs, she kept like this for a moment, before stopping in front of the crib.

Amity had fallen asleep by now, even if she was flinching with every littlest sound her daughter made, so Eda looked over to Raine.

“Wanna hold the baby, too?”, she asked and Raine blushed.

“I’d-… I’d rather wait until she’s a little bit older.”, she admitted and Eda nodded before still gesturing her spouse over. Raine got up from the edge of Amity’s bed and joined Eda, putting an arm around her waist while Eda still cradled the baby close, taking care not to jostle her too much.

She yawned again and from the corner of her eyes, Eda saw Amity’s eyes opening, unfocused and probably very much still asleep but still attentive to her daughter. Chuckling, she turned back to Raine.

“Boy, I’m sure glad I only had two adoptive children.”

Shrugging, Raine caught the baby’s fist with their free hand and tickled their tiny fingers, but she wouldn’t open her hand this time.

“I’m sure you would’ve made a great biological mother as well. As you’re already a great adoptive mother, too.”

Shrugging, Eda brushed over her temple again, leaning into Raine.

“Nah, I’m glad I never had a baby. I don’t think I would’ve wanted to go through that.”

“Fair enough.”, Raine whispered, but their tone indicated that they had stopped listening to Eda, engrossed by the child in her arms. She softly kicked, which caused them to chuckle, before she settled back against Eda’s chest, curling in slightly and breathing through, apparently getting ready for her next nap. Raine sighed softly.

“Honestly, I’m glad I never had a baby, too. But having a grandchild is amazing.”

Grinning, Eda kissed their forehead, before carefully maneuvering the baby back into the crib and swaddling them the best she could, watching her breaths deepening and calming as she fell asleep again. Then, Eda pushed the crib next to Amity’s bed, to which the young witch immediately responded by reaching into the crib from the side and resting her hand on her daughter’s belly. Smiling, Eda took Raine into her arms and watched as both her future daughter-in-law and her granddaughter slept peacefully, leaning her head against Raine’s.

“… You’re right this is amazing.”

She already knew that this child would have the two best mothers she could ask for. And she knew that her entire family, including her furry uncle, three grandmothers, and one grandparent, and their twin uncle and aunt would do their damn best to make sure this child had everything she needed.

Smiling, Eda reached down to brush over the baby’s cheek and pulled Raine closer.

Maternal feelings or not, this was amazing.

---

Let me know if you liked it!

[nagisa-shiota-worthy-shit]

Tinder Matches

Karmagisa Week 2021, day 1 prompt: Matching  wordcount: 1600

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The fact that Nagisa had a tinder account wasn’t something he really shared with anyone. At the time, he’d created it as a joke, a way of amusing his friend’s stupid suggestion. According to Kayano, it truly could be the solution to his lack of experience in the love life department. Nagisa hadn’t been too sure about that. He was more than aware of the application’s status and, no, he wasn’t really interested in finding people to just have sex with. 

Yet, somehow, he still found himself swiping through people on the app one night. He was alone in his room, a little bored, and perhaps even a little too tired after a day’s worth of teaching. None of the people he came across really interested him much, although he had to admit that he’d probably give them a shot if he saw them in real life, just because he wanted to believe in the best in people. 

This app, however, gave little to no information on someone’s personality. Then again, some people were very clear about looking for someone rich to provide for them, which Nagisa guessed his teacher’s salary wasn’t exactly right for, and he supposed that also said something about their personality and what they were like in a relationship. Nothing Nagisa really wished to deal with. 

After swiping left on complete strangers in fear of one secretly being a stalker, murderer, or just having horrible table manners, he suddenly stopped when a familiar face popped up on his screen. the red hair, the golden eyes, that all too familiar smirk. Nagisa recognized exactly who he was seeing, yet somehow couldn't exactly process the idea. it just didn't seem entirely right. 

Someone like Karma wouldn't need to use tinder, right? 

He found himself staring at the title picture for a while before he realized he could scroll through and see more. it wasn't like he didn't know what karma looked like... but... he sure was curious about what karma was putting out there. 

It didn't appear to be all that special at first. A selfie in a casual outfit, a picture of him at a bar with people Nagisa didn't recognize, a traveling picture, but the last picture was something else. This picture appeared professionally taken, or at the very least it wasn't a selfie and the picture was set up. Karma was posing in it, after all. Posing in a suit, the jacket in his hand, thrown over his shoulder as he glanced at the camera with those devilish eyes. Nagisa was nothing but taken back by it. 

He shouldn't be staring, should he? This was his close friend and fellow assassin graduate, the staring was just weird. Yet, somehow, he couldn't look away from the picture and thought back to when he’d first met Karma, so many years ago now. He’d felt the same sense of awe back then. Karma was just so perfect, how couldn’t he. This picture, him as an adult looking like a literal model, was like a visual representation of everything Nagisa used to feel Karma was. 

The sudden noise of the train passing near his apartment woke him up from his state. suddenly turning very red, he frantically moved his hands and went to swipe left, except his phone nearly fell out of his hands in the process. He caught it, hands all over the screen and, through his own fingers, he could see Karma being swiped right. 

no. no nonono. please go back

Nagisa fumbled with his phone, hoping to undo his actions, but before he could do anything, a message popped up on the screen. He was surprised by it to say the least. 

‘you've got a match’

A match. He matched. but that meant... Karma had swiped right on him as well?! why would he- probably as a joke. he probably came across nagisa and thought it was funny, right? Nagisa had to assume that was the truth, although deep in his mind a thought echoed around saying the exact opposite. Maybe he wanted it to not be a joke.

After panicking for a hot minute, his phone made a ping sound, indicating he’d gotten a message. He was too scared to look. Somehow, before even opening the message, he could already sense who it was from. Sure enough, once he finally did gather the courage to check the notification, his fears were proven right. This was the worst situation. 

Karma: well well well, didnt take you as the tinder type

He considered ignoring it. What was that called again? Ghosting? Yes, he could ghost Karma. If he didn’t respond to the message, perhaps nothing else unfavourable would be happening. Well, Karma would probably mention it to him the next time they spoke in real life. That would probably be even worse. It wasn’t like he could ignore Karma for the rest of his life. It wasn’t like he wanted to. 

Nagisa: i'm not

Karma: yet here you are.

Karma: swiping right on me ;)

The cockiness almost oozed out of the message. Nagisa was left frowning at his phone. The main thought going through his mind was that Karma was probably enjoying this. He was a sadist like that. He was having fun while Nagisa wanted to bury himself as deep underground as possible. 

Nagisa: you swiped right first! 

Nagisa: mine was an accident

Nagisa: I was surprised to see you on here and my phone dropped

Karma: ah, so you wouldn't swipe right on me :( am I too ugly?

Nagisa felt his face grow hot. He probably shouldn't look at his reflection if he wanted to save himself from the image of his head being a tomato. He didn't think karma was ugly. quite the opposite, actually. Not that he could say that. That would be weird. So, he tried to find some middle ground answer, not calling karma ugly or the opposite of that. 

Nagisa: I never said that, I just didn't intend to swipe right on someone i'm already friends with. 

There, no way that could be taken wrong. He considered sending an additional message, clarifying just how dropping his phone led to the swiping right, but decided against it. It would sound just a little too defensive. 

Karma: well,its nice this gives us a chance to talk again anyways. appears youve been too busy to answrr my texts. 

An awkward laugh escaped Nagisa as he looked away from his phone, forgetting Karma couldn't actually see his reaction. There was no reason to avoid eye contact when there was no eye contact to begin with. Still, he shared the sentiment. He kind of had forgotten to keep contact with people lately. 

He blamed the new workplace. After finishing his days as a trainee, the new school he worked at was surprisingly more demanding. He always knew being a full time teacher was a lot of work, especially now that there was no one to keep an eye on him and remind him of certain teaching specifics of the school he taught at. Of course, the work was rewarding enough for him to barely think about his loss of contacts. He had a habit of treating those too loosely anyways. 

Nagisa: ive just been working

Karma: workaholic

Nagisa: you literally have more work hours than me

Karma: and somehow you still spend as much time working as me. 

The conversation went on like that for a bit, them going back and forth at each other. Overall, it wasn't a bad time. Nagisa kind of forgot about the actual use of the app, and the fact that he could just DM Karma on line whenever he wanted to, until Karma managed to bring back the conversation to it. 

Karma: you know, usually when people match, they try to meet up for a date

Of course Nagisa was aware that that's what the app was for, it was sort of the reason he’d gotten it as well. However, he didn't think anything would lead anywhere for him, let alone with karma. surely karma wasn't being serious. it would be weird to go on a date with your friend. 

and still, Nagisa endulged him, being so stupid as to ask further. 

Nagisa: where do people even go on tinder dates?

Karma: anywhere they want to, usually just for drinks, easy way to lead them home a little tipsy afterwards

Nagisa: okay that sounds creepy

Karma: if that's not your style I could always take you out for dinner. 

Karma: There's this new sushi restaurant near my place, looks like something you'd love. 

somehow, he actually considered it. On any other day, that would sound insane to nagisa. Since when would he consider dating karma? Wait, not dating, going on a date with Karma. There was a difference. Sushi did sound great, and so did Karma's company. He supposed he hadn't really been out like that in a while. date or not. 

Karma: i can even pick you up, very romantic 

The word hit Nagisa a little hard. Romantic. What would that entail? Would they sit opposite of each other, send cute glances, maybe even hold hands beside the table? He wanted his mind to hate the idea of that, doing those things with his friend, ruining the relationship they already had. But, he also wanted to give in, say yes, and see where things would lead. At the very least, he'd have a fun night with good food. 

Nagisa: you have a day in mind?

Karma: how's Saturday?

Nagisa: Saturday's fine

Karma: it's a date!

[uglypastels]

New Beginnings // roommate!au

(a/n) I’m sorry @duskholland for coming up with these aus. the good thing about it is, that I have no self control so here it is, the New Girl!roommate!au :) i’m not gonna say it’s great, and also i’v seen like 5 episodes of the show maybe so it’s definitely my own take on the pilot. hope you like it.

word count: 6.3k

warning: swearing, sexual references (the first paragraph is as bad as it gets), dark humour and mentions of murder, sex trafficking - basically reasons why not to move in with strangers you meet off of craigslist. Please be safe and responsible. but it’s all just fluff and humour. Also, possibly some horrible writing cause i couldn’t bother editing this <3 

“And when I walked into the bedroom I found him in there, completely naked, with some slut sucking his dick… so basically, that’s why I need a new apartment.” You looked around at the three men in front of you, realising you had zoned out a bit there while telling your story. “Sorry, what was the question?” 

“Uhh,” the blonde one, which introduced himself as Harrison earlier, spoke, “Do you have any pets?” 

“Oh,” well that was embarrassing, “No, I mean I had a schnauzer when I was younger and I always wanted to get another one but who am I kidding, nothing will ever live up to Mr Snuzzlekins.” For the love of God, shut up! “No, I don’t have any pets.” You felt your entire face heating up. Suddenly you became very aware of a strand of hair that was in front of your face so you pushed it behind your ear

“Mr Snuzzlekins?” The other one, Tom, laughed with a small smile. 

“My sister named him,” you lied. You were already embarrassed as it was. 

There was a moment of silence where no one knew what to say next, so you decided to break the tension. Awkwardly laughing, you said:  “You know, the funny thing is, I didn’t expect you to be… guys.” That was true. When you had been searching through the Craigslist advertisements there had been a lot of applications for housing but you had ignored most of them because they sounded too much like human trafficking scams or some other creeps looking for a way to get a girl. You had particularly found interest in this apartment, not only because of the actual great (and safe looking) location of the building but also because you had thought that the ad was written by a woman. Not that you didn’t think a woman could murder you, but it did bring a bit more security to you to live with someone of your own gender. 

Well, as you saw three men sitting in front of you, you had guessed that wrong. They did seem nice enough though. Handsome too. You really hoped they weren’t murderers. They wouldn’t do well in prison… also, your death. Not a favourable outcome in the slightest. 

“Why’d you think that?” the third one asked. You had missed his name during the introduction round, but you already felt like you could be good friends with him. His boyish charms made you think he was younger than the other two, though he did have a very small resemblance to Tom. You found it cute how his curls bounced around when he moved his head. 

“Well, the ad, it was phrased… very femini-ninely...” That was definitely too many syllables. Could this interview go any worse? No, probably not. But the guys didn’t seem to mind your momentary idiocy. 

“Oh, yeah, we had our mum write it for us.” Tom explained, sitting a bit more straight up, “We had been trying to find someone else to live with us ever since our friend Tuwaine moved out, but we kind of suck at advertising ourselves, so yeah-” 

“Oh, well that makes sense, yeah.” Their mum wrote it. So they were a family. Brothers? Yeah probably. You didn’t really see how the Harrison guy fit into that since he didn’t look anything like the other two. Shattering blue eyes instead of the warm hazel. Dark blonde hair instead of the reddish-brown. All three had magnificent bone structure that you had to admit, but not in the same way. 

“So, what do you guys do?” you decided to ask. 

“We’re actors,” Harrison said, pointing at himself and Tom. Since you had no heart palpitating reaction when you first saw them, you could probably safely assume that they were still trying to find their break out role. Harrison pointed at the third of their addition before continuing. “Harry is more of a behind the scenes man, photography and directing, that kind of stuff.” 

“That’s… interesting.” You smiled. Were you about to move in with three wannabes? If you were, would it be inevitable that you’d end up paying the rent for all of them because they wouldn’t be able to find gigs? That was a bit harsh. Besides, you could always look for a new place before that happened and move out. And who even said that you could move in, in the first place? “Anything I might have seen you guys in? Or some of your work?” You directed the additional question to...Harry. 

Harry. Harrison. Try to remember that. 

“I’ve had a few roles on the West End, nothing big yet but once I have a role, it’s at least steady for a bit, you know,” Tom said. 

“I’ve mostly been doing headshots for people, so I doubt you’d have seen anything I’ve done.” Harry said. You nodded to his statement. 

“And Harrison has been signed with this fashion designer. You might have seen some ads around town.” Modelling. Not another model to live with. You tried not to let your smile fade. 

“No, sorry, I don’t think I have. But I’ll be on the lookout.” The grin you put up actually reached your eyes genuinely.

“So what about you?” Harrison was the one to ask, not noticing any change in your demeanour. “What is it that you do?”

“I’m a teacher. I know, not very glamorous or anything- and I might sometimes come home with an abundance of ice-lolly sticks- but it’s good fun and it pays well.” You looked around some more around the apartment. As you focused on the spacious living room of the loft, you wondered how these guys could afford it. Were their rich parents paying for it? Was there secretly asbestos in the walls, making rent not even a problem? Were they going to kill you? 

It was a really nice flat. With exposed brick walls and wooden beams at the ceiling, which the guys used cleverly to hang their houseplants from. Even with the large space and the big windows covering the outer walls of the room, it felt very homey. Comfortable. 

“I’m sure you already know, but it’s a really great place you guys got.” Compliments always worked, so that was your way to go to ensure you had a roof over your head soon. Feeling a bit more comfortable now, you decided to get up to walk a bit around the room. The reason for that specific action was unknown to you, but you did it. 

It had been the first day since your breakup that you had actually made an effort in looking presentable. Hair washed and brushed, you had clothes on that had zero Cheeto dust on it. Of course, since these were guys it probably didn’t even matter to them what you looked like but when you still thought you might be living with other women, you were terrified of being denied because of how you looked or something. That could still happen, but they just didn’t seem like the shallow type. And they had seemed really surprised when you appeared at their front door, as if they didn’t expect a girl to show up either. 

All three of them turned their heads as you walked around, following you with their eyes. It was a mix of curiosity and the same fear that you saw in people on competition shows, when they were waiting for the judges’ critique. 

You looked out the window to see the view. It was a lovely lookout on the city. 

“How come your roommate moved out?” Was it your place to ask? You had no idea. They didn’t seem to mind the question, though. 

“He moved in with his girlfriend instead.” Harry was the one to answer. A heart wrenching feeling fell over you. You didn’t know this Tuwaine, or his girlfriend, but a sudden wave of hatred towards them and their happiness overwhelmed you. Why did everyone have to be all happy and in love? It was disgusting. You were sick of it. 

“Well, I definitely wouldn’t mind living here.” Somehow you managed to speak out without showing any of your feelings through it. You allowed yourself to walk around to the kitchen island. It was recycled wood with a dark varnish on top, making the light from outside shine on it. You could almost see yourself reflecting in it. Were they this clean or had they no idea how to cook? 

“Don’t get me wrong, you seem great, but we don’t really know anything about you yet.” Tom got up and walked up to you. The other two followed his steps. You were now standing on opposite sides of the kitchen island, making you feel as if you were a bartender ready to take their orders. 

“There really isn’t much more to tell. I mean, I did just go through a break up, so emotions are uhm… out there. I might be spending the next few weeks watching horrible Hallmark movies, like 4 or 5… a day.” You saw the disgust on Harry’s face and quickly made an attempt at recovery. “But I can do that on my laptop and headphones, so ya know, I’ll be quiet. I’ll be in my room the entire time too, probably, so you might not even notice I’m here.” You tried to sell yourself as un-pathetically as possible. It had come to desperate measures in desperate times. Because, what your (possible) new roommates didn’t know, was that you had already spent the last four weeks looking for a new place, and while there was no luck in that, you had to do with sleeping on the tiny couch of your best friend. 

As if he could actually read your mind, Harrison’s next question was: “So, where have you been living the last few days then? If you don’t mind me asking.” 

“Not at all,” you said, finding large interest in the pattern of the stained wood. Not looking up at the three men, “I’ve been living with my best friend. She’s great but I just don’t think I'm suited for the life she and her supermodel friends have-” Why did you mention the models? Your eyes shot up to Harrison’s. But it was Harry’s and Tom’s that were wide. 

“Supermodels?” Tom coughed out. You nodded, having leaned in with your elbows on the table, looking rather unimpressed. The way Tom’s hands grabbed for the sleeves of his roommates did not go unnoticed by you. Before you could say anything, he excused himself and the others and they had disappeared into the corridor. Earlier on they had told you that was the way to the bathroom. They were trying to whisper, but weren’t doing a great job at it. You could hear every word perfectly well. 

“What are we thinking, guys?” Tom said, closing the door behind him. When he turned around, Harrison and his brother were rubbing their arms, on the spots where Tom had been a bit too rough on his grip. Harry sat down on the edge of the bathtub, while Harrison decided to remain standing,eventually leaning against the tiled wall. There was a bright light in the small bathroom, but the vintage green tiles made it all look much darker. 

“She seems nice.” Harrison spoke up finally. “But I don’t know, she’s obviously a… she. Won’t that be weird?” 

“What do you think, Tom?” Harry asked his older brother, who, even though had been the one to pull them into the bathroom, had not planned on saying much. “You’re the one with experience in living with a woman. So try to cancel out those supermodels for a sec.”

“I don’t know,” Tom bit the inside of his cheek. Before he had moved in with his brother and best friend, he had been living with his then girlfriend, Stacey. They had been together for a while until she had decided that maybe, this wasn’t meant to be after all. Unlike you, though, the apartment had been in his name so he had a place to stay, but he just couldn’t get himself to live alone in a place that was intended on being lived in by two people. So, he moved out. 

“I mean… every girl is different, so I can’t say shit.” 

“I’m really not that bad!” you shouted from the other side of the door, immediately hiding your mouth behind your hands. Now they knew you were listening to their private conversation. The bathroom door opened and Tom’s head popped out. He saw you sitting on the couch. 

“Could you- could you hear all of that?” he pointed back into the bathroom. You nodded, still covering your mouth, scared you would say something else embarrassing. But the guys seemed to be just as abashed. One by one they walked out and came to sit on their basically appointed seats on the sofa. Did they have their own claimed seats? Would you need to be prepared to only sit in one spot of the room forever? Shit, they had all the seats with the window view… 

“So,” Harry said, “when you said supermodels-” but he never got to finish his sentence because Harrison slapped him across the back of his head. You suppressed a small laugh. It didn’t go unnoticed by Tom, who reciprocated the expression. This, in turn, was missed by you. You only looked in his direction a second later, when the smile had slightly faded already. 

“Thanks for saying that whole ‘every girl is different’ thing. Not saying I can’t cook… even if that is going along with the stereotype, but I wouldn’t exactly want to be accepted to live here as a nanny… not that I think you guys can’t take care of yourselves! I mean just look at-” you eyes wandered around them just for a second before coming back on the right track. “- at the apartment. What I mean is- uhh.” 

“Guys are dicks?” Harrison suggested. 

“Yes! No! No, of course not, well some. But I don’t think you guys are. You seem really nice. I’ve just had… experiences with living with other types of guys and that really was not the planned outcome now that I think about it and I don’t know why I can’t shut up now because I have no idea why I’m telling you all this.” 

“Is this Spencer that we’re talking about here?” Tom asked and your eyes shot to his direction, shocking even him. The name had become somewhat of a trigger for you in the last few days. At the last moment, you realised you had actually mentioned his name yourself to them during your introductory story, so that spared you a good bit of humiliation there. You decided to keep quiet. You all did. Great, because this day had not gone awkward enough. Maybe you could sink into the surface of the ground and die there? Then there would be no more reason to find any living space. It would all be over. Yeah, that really didn’t sound too bad even. 

“So, do you wanna see your room?” Harrison broke the silence and his words surprised everyone, even him. You took longer than it should have to comprehend what he had just suggested. 

“What? Uhh, yes! Yes! Oh my god, that would be fantastic. Thank you.” 

“Great,” Harrison clapped his hands on his thighs before getting up. Then he extended one of those hands to you. He led you to the corridor opposite the bathroom, the third door on the left. The door had some scraped paint residue on it and you could see a poor attempt was made at pulling off the scotch tape that held up posters on it or something? It opened up to a room. It wasn’t big or small. The wall color was a nice beige, a bit of a sandy, almost peachy color. You could definitely work with it. 

The guys let you take it in, but also took that moment to give each other death glares, most of them directed at Harrison. 

“What exactly were you thinking?” Tom asked him, this time properly whispering. For extra measure he extended his neck to look into the hallway to see if you were walking out of the room again. 

“Actually, I was thinking about how you had showed up at my door at 2 am when Stacey dumped you.”

“She didn’t dump me. No one was dumped.” Tom denied like always.

“No, you were definitely dumped, mate.” Harry said, not even making an attempt at hiding the amusement in his voice. 

“Anyway,” Harrison ignored the interaction between brothers, “I thought of you and how miserable you were then. She’s probably going through that same thing.” If not worse, he wanted to add, but he also didn’t want to edge Tom’s ego any further. “So, let’s give her a chance.” 

Tom still didn’t seem to be entirely sure. He raised his eyebrow, thinking. He looked once more at the corridor, expecting you to walk out any moment, but you still were in the room. What were you even doing there? The place was entirely empty. 

“Fine,” he gave in, “but if she turns out to be completely psychotic, you’re kicking her out, Haz.” He immediately noticed the wince in Harry’s face. Had he mistimed his words? 

Yes, he had, because you were standing right behind him now. The sight of you made his heart stop for a good second as he went pale. 

“Fucking Christ,” Tom gasped, “if you live here, you’re getting a bell. None of that sneaking around.” 

“Are we talking service, hand, cow, or the kinky cat collar type?” you smirked, knowing you had gotten him completely flustered at your joke. While Harrison and Harry burst out in laughter, Tom didn’t move a muscle. His cheeks and neck, however, had started to turn a lovely rosy colour. He opened his mouth a bit, just to close it up again as he changed his mind. 

_______________________

While you had told them that you would be spending your days crying into a pint of ice cream while watching movies, reality was much more different from that. It was true that you barely left your room, but that was because you were too busy unpacking all your things out and setting up your room. The guys were nice enough to help you bring up the furniture sets and the boxes, which had been lovingly left at the curb of the building by the people from the moving company.

That ordeal had taken up most of Saturday. Your first task was to set up the bed, which Harrison helped you with. You tried to tell him that you didn’t need help, but your words were futile the second you almost dropped a wooden plank on yourself. The flatpacks were easy enough to understand, and unlike what you had done there, you weren’t the worst when it came to building, so all the furniture was set up by the end of Sunday. It meant that you could spend the rest of the week opening boxes and making your room really yours. 

But Monday also meant work, so you only had the afternoons and nights to do it. Together with the fact that you had to leave early for work, meant that the guys really barely saw you. The only sign of your presence would be the music you were playing from your room while doing the unpacking. 

It was the fourth hour of your One Direction sing-a-long that Tom walked into the living room. Harrison popped his head up from his book to look at his friend. He did not look happy. 

“Dude,” he said. The one word already evoked all that Tom wanted to say, but Harrison loved to annoy him. 

“What?” he opened up his book again, pretending not to really pay any attention to Tom. This was made harder when Tom sat down next to him. 

“If I hear What Makes You Beautiful one more fucking time-” 

“Then what?” Harrison still kept his eyes on the words on the pages, not taking in a single word. 

“You have to do something. I can’t take it.” 

“Why do I have to do something?” Harrison closed his book with his finger still between the pages and looked at Tom, just in time to see him narrow his eyes in annoyance. 

“Really? So do you wanna see your room y/n?!” His voice turned higher as he mocked Harrison’s words, following it up by a gagging sound. “You’re the one that got us here. Now, go solve it.” 

“I really don’t mind it. If you’re so bothered, go talk to her yourself.” And with that, Harrison went back to his book. This time actually reading the words. It was enough for Tom to know that the conversation was over. He didn’t even try to argue. He gave Harrison one more glare and got up. While walking to your room, he noticed that Harry had actually been in the kitchen this whole time, listening in on their conversation. He tried to give his little brother a look, hoping for support, but he didn’t get any of that. Harry disappeared behind the doors of a cupboard and Tom went into the corridor, still rolling his eyes. 

When he reached your door, he couldn’t hear you singing anymore. It was just One Direction coming from the speakers. Now, he enjoyed the lads just as much as the next guy, but after a while he just needed it to stop. And coming in in five hours was definitely a while. 

He knocked on the door. There was a sound that resembled you. A bit of a murmur that formed no particular word. It didn’t sound like a denial though, so slowly, in case you didn't want him to come in, he opened the door. 

You were quick in decorating the room. Only a few days ago it was still empty and a bit cold looking, now the walls were covered with posters and pictures. You had used one entire wall just for your bookcase. There didn’t seem to be an order on the shelves just yet, but you left that for the last thing to do since the rest of the room seemed a bit more important at the moment.

The bed was unmade, with several pillows thrown about over it. Behind it the headboard, which simultaneously served as a shelf. Stuffed animals and a few more books were strewn about. Overhead were fairy lights, matching the ones on the doorframe and on the bookcase. Together with the lamp that was on the desk, it was the only light in the room. Since it was dark, it gave the room a warm and cozy atmosphere. 

But the first thing that Tom noticed when he walked into the room was the smell. Coconut? It wasn’t overwhelming, just strong enough to be pleasantly surprising and noticeable. 

You were standing on a small step ladder, which you usually used to reach the upper shelf of your bookcase (high walls gave the opportunity for more shelves, which you could never say no to). You were in the middle of hanging up a picture on the wall as the song from your speaker continued. 

Can we take the same road, two days in the same clothes- 

You were holding on to the frame with both hands, trying to centre it on the nail in the wall, but every time you pulled away, the frame would slant to the side. 

And I know just what she’ll say if I can make all this pain go- 

Tom saw you get fed up with the picture, throwing it on the bed with a groan. That’s when you looked up at him. The dim and soft light was shining just at the angle that when he looked at you, he could see the tear streaks down your face. You had definitely been crying. You were still sniffling a bit when you stepped down to the floor. 

“Am I too loud? Sorry.” you immediately reached out to your phone, which was connected to the speaker, and pressed down the volume. Then you decided to just turn it off completely. Maybe you’ve had enough of it for now. 

“Uhh, a bit, but it’s fine. We like 1D here, so.” Tom suddenly felt like a real dick when he saw the small, apologetic, smile you gave him. You were holding the speaker in your hands as you sat on the bed, staring at it, a bit lost, and Tom wasn’t sure if he was supposed to leave or not. 

“Are you okay?” he asked. You had clearly forgotten he was still there, because you looked up looking a bit frazzled. 

“No.” You said honestly. What would be the point in pretending? You couldn’t fool anyone even if you tried. Misery was the only thing feeling your once Spencer-filled void. Ugh, the sound of his name, even just in your thoughts, made you want to scream. Unconsciously, and a bit to Tom’s amusement, you had grabbed one of your pillows and started to hit your fist right in the middle of it. Your hits were getting harder and rougher. 

“Ever considered boxing?” He brought you out of your haze. You looked down at the pillow, seeing the sad looking indent on the kitten-patterned pillow. Tom took the pillow away from you and fluffed it out to its normal shape before putting it back.

“It’s just been hard, you know,” you said, more to yourself than to him and Tom understood that. He knew what you meant. He had been in that same position not too long ago and seeing you like this did definitely bring back some of those feelings he had tried to suppress back then. 

“Like, I thought he was the one. And I know it sounds so stupid, I don’t even believe in that whole soulmate crap, but he was it for me. For the first time, I could actually imagine myself enduring nine months of hell to have a kid with him, sorry if I’m being TMI.” 

“You’re good,” he said. He also understood that feeling. Maybe not in the exact, child bearing way, but he could resonate with that whole it thing. He had felt the same way about Stacey. He had never told anyone this, and was never planning on telling anyone, but the day before they broke up, he had been out in the city looking for an engagement ring. It had come unplanned. He wasn’t thinking yet about actually proposing. But he had been in town for an audition and on his way home he saw the jeweller. It was the first time he had ever thought of it, and it seemed right, so he walked in and just looked around. 

“You must think I’m so pathetic though. Crying for weeks about some douchebag.”

“Well, you’ve only lived here for five days, so I wouldn’t know about that.” He smirked. You groaned again and fell with your head on a big fluffy pillow. 

“But no,” he said eventually, “I don’t think you’re pathetic.” 

“Thanks.” 

_______________________

Another week had gone by and your mother had somehow found out about your new living arrangement. So, the last 20 minutes you had been sitting on the couch, listening to her yelling. 

“No mum, I’m fine.” you said, for what felt like the 50th time. Right at that moment, Harry showed up in the living room, making his way from a shower to his bedroom, only a towel around his waist. His usually curly hair was a wet mop, covering most of his face. 

“You don’t even know them!” your mother shrieked. 

“Harry, are you going to murder me?” you asked as he walked by, covering the microphone of your phone. Without missing a beat, or looking down at you, he answered with a snappy “Yup,” and walked into his own room. 

“They’re really nice guys, mum.” You told her. It took you another ten minutes to convince her not to come over tomorrow (or ever, in general). The conversation had taken an abrupt turn when suddenly, she invited you to a video call. Knowing that if you didn’t answer it, you would never hear the end of it, you accepted the call. Your mothers face, or better said, forehead, showed up on screen. You tried to cover your chin as best as you could with the collar of your sweater since you were too tired to hold up your phone at a reasonable angle. 

“Hi mom,” you sighed. 

“Where are they?!” she said, looking around as if she could actually see more than what your camera showed. You were going to lie that they had gone out, but right at that second Harry walked out of his room. Thankfully he was dressed, but his hair was still a bit wet. His shoulder was just visible in the corner of your screen and you tried to move to the side, but your mother had noticed him already.

“Who’s that?” Why did your mother always have to be so loud?

“Uhh, that’s Harry.”

He looked up at the mention of his name. You were scared that it would make him uncomfortable if you talked about him to your mom, it was making you uncomfortable for sure, but instead he jumped up at the opportunity and the next second he was leaning on the couch, almost over you, and smiling at your phone. 

“Hi.” He waved to your mother. His quick movements made his hair move around, giving you a nice first row experience of the fountain show coming from it. You wiped the water off your face. 

“What’s your name again?” Your mother asked. 

“Harry, Ma’am. Harry Holland.” He said with a smile. You both knew that when your mother had asked him his name, she meant his full name. She wouldn’t be able to make any deep research, but it was in case you suddenly went missing, of course. 

“How old are you?” your mother went on with the third degree, glaring at your roommate at each question. Harry answered it all with a big and charming smile. You held the camera, hoping the couch could eat you already. This could not get any more embarrassing, could it? 

Oh, it could. Because half way through, your sister had shown up and sat down next to your mom. She didn’t say anything, but suddenly a text notification popped up on the top of your screen. 

Who’s the hot guy?

Your sister was not imbecile, yet she loved to act like it. Of course, Harry saw the text and erupted in a loud laugh, startling your poor mother. As the timer on the call was reaching 30 minutes you decided to say your goodbyes and end the conversation. Harry was still laughing. 

“So… you’re sister…” he said once calming down. 

“Don’t even think about it. She’s 17.” you glared at him and he immediately shut up, which you appreciated. 

“Well, your mom seems nice,” he eventually said. You knew he didn’t mean it in that way, but in the context of your previous exchange, it didn’t sound great. Now you were the one laughing. 

“That is not what I meant!” he shouted out, grabbing a throw pillow and hitting you on the arm with it lightly.

“Jesus, calm down. I know.” You grabbed the pillow from him. You were both in a fit of giggles by then. It took a moment to catch a breath and by that point, your head was actually hurting.  

“So do you think I’m hot?” Harry asked, raising his brow like the cheeky fuck he is. You just rolled your eyes and hit him with that same pillow. Maybe a bit too hard, because it knocked him off balance and when you looked up, he was no longer leaning on the backrest of the sofa. 

“Oops. Sorry.”

_______________________

Something you had to learn the hard way when it came to living with the guys was that you had to lock your doors. They weren’t doing it on purpose, but they had a tendency to forget to knock when walking into the bathroom, or even your bedroom. Specifically, Harrison. 

Usually, you’d consider him to be the more logical of the three, but that didn’t really mean that much. He was just as much of an idiot as the two Holland brothers at times. 

The bathroom incident had happened during your first week of living with the boys. You were taking a shower. The loud water had cancelled out the sound of the door opening so you didn’t know that while you were washing your hair, Harrison had walked into the bathroom. 

In his defence, he thought it was Tom showering, not you. 

You had not been made aware yet of the honourable fifth member of the household: a life size Nicolas Cage cardboard cut-out. So, when you pushed the shower curtain aside, and were met eye to eye with Nick Cage himself, you screamed bloody murder, almost falling in the bathtub. The door opened to horrified Harrison, realising his mistake. He realised it as soon as he heard the screams, which clearly did not belong to Tom. 

But another scream followed, which was shorter and more specific, followed by a “Fuck!” made him feel like something else had happened. It sounded like you had gotten hurt. So, obviously, he walked in to see if you were alright. 

You were, in fact, alright, and seeing him standing there, eyes wide as he saw your naked body, you screamed again for him to get out. He took a second to grab Nick and pull him out of the room, mumbling a few sorrys, and closed the door behind him. 

Flushed, slightly angry, and with a pounding heart, you dried off and got dressed. Unlike the guys, you were never one to parade half naked around the house on your way from the bathroom to your bedroom. 

You walked out, a pile of old clothes in your hands, to see Harrison. He looked like a puppy that might be about to be smacked with a newspaper on his nose. Usually you were very much against that disciplinary practice, but Harrison was no puppy, and you had been scared shitless. 

“y/n, I’m so sorry.” he apologised as he followed you to your room. You were telling him that it was alright, and actually quite funny, but he really wanted you to know that it was an accident and that he didn’t mean to scare you like that or walk in on you naked or linger his eyes on you for that long. 

“Seriously, Haz, it’s fine. Shit happens… just, don’t walk into the bathroom anymore when I shower. Or ever actually, if I’m in there, don’t.”

“Yeah, of course.” 

And he kept to the promise. You didn’t get any other sudden visits in the bathroom, but it was not the last time that Harrison saw you naked. 

You were all going out to a bar one night, and a bit shamefully, you were taking a bit longer than usual with getting ready. The guys had been waiting for a while already, and you were trying to hurry up, but you just had no idea what to wear. Finally you had found yourself a dress that might make you get a bit lucky that night. You weren’t even planning on hooking up, but the attention was appreciated. In your, still not exactly over your break-up situation, it was actually needed. 

In the meantime, the guys were deciding which one of them had to go and tell you to hurry up. It was getting late and they needed their time to get completely smashed. And while waiting for you, getting knock out drunk was definitely not happening. 

Harrison drew the figurative short straw. He thought you were doing your make-up or something, being aware how much time that can take sometimes. He never imagined opening the door and seeing you standing in the middle of your room, only in a pair of panties. You didn’t see him at first because your dress was over your head as you tried to pull it on. Harrison closed the door before you saw anything. But you could hear the thud of the door closing. 

You pulled the dress over your body, grabbed a pair of matching heels and put them on as you got out of your room. There you saw Harrison. His red cheeks indicated that he was the one who had walked into your room. Tom and Harry were standing at the door. They could see you walk out and their eyes had gone a bit wide. Clearly, the dress was serving its purpose. 

Having already gone through this whole embarrassing scenario already, you decided to spare Harrison. You have him a soft smile. 

“Could you help me zip up?” you asked, turning your back and pushing the hair away from the zipper. 

“Uhh, yeah, yeah, of course.” He was so flustered. It was actually adorable. You could feel his hands on you as he grabbed the two sides of the dress and the zipper and slowly, carefully, pulled it up. 

“Thank you,” you said when he was done. He didn’t respond, his face still as red as a stop light. And it didn’t get any better when you kissed him on the cheek. 

It was definitely interesting to be living with them, but you couldn’t complain about a single thing… except for the laundry, maybe. 

The END

> Thank you for reading!! I hope you enjoyed

> please leave a comment or ask with your thoughts. i love reading them and let me know if you want to see more of this au cause i really enjoyed writing it :)

>masterlist and link to taglist in bio

tagging:

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[throughtheinterstices]

a day well-spent

❝ bokuto makes you realize that working isn’t the only way to have a day well-spent. ❞

pairing. bokuto x fem!reader genre. fluff, slight comedy word count. 2.1k words a/n. reblogs are appreciated. i’d be happy to hear your thoughts too!

HAIKYUU MASTERLIST • AO3

A day well-spent.

You snort at the caption of your classmate’s Instagram story. The picture shows her desk with piles of notes and her book with lots of highlights.

You close the Instagram tab on your laptop.

In the first place, you aren’t even supposed to be on Instagram. You deleted all your social media applications so you could avoid stress, but you open them on your laptop.

Way to go.

You breathe out a sigh.

Move on, move on. Let’s just prepare for our video call with our best friend.

You look at the time. Nine o’clock in the evening. He’s probably in his apartment by now.

A notification pops up on your laptop. Bokuto Koutaro calling…

The edge of your lips quirks up.

“Hey! Hey! Hey!” your best friend greets you. He has his arms up in the air and he is wearing his biggest grin.

A wide smile immediately forms on your face.

“Hey! Hey! Hey!” you mimic. “How was your day?”

Even from a video call, you could see the twinkle in his eyes. As always, he is energetic, excited to give you an extensive recollection of his endeavors. From the floor of your bedroom in Tokyo, you watch the silver-haired boy cities away tell you about how practice was fun as always, how he was able to make the best line shots and even better cross shots, how they were probably going to have new teammates soon (“you know Tsum-Tsum and Omi-Omi right?”). He even gives you a solid picture of everything he ate that day—from breakfast to dinner.

“How about you? How did your day go?” Bokuto asks, playing around with his office chair (which you told him isn’t a go-cart).

“Nothing much… Just napped the whole morning, ate at the new ramen place, walked around the neighborhood and looked at the flowers,” you recalled your uneventful day. “Oh! And I played with my puppy too!”

“Waaahh! That seems so fun! What a great day!” your best friend exclaims.

You let out a chuckle. Somehow, Bokuto can make even the simplest things seem grand. And somehow, he can also notice the subtle things about you.

Bokuto pulls his chair closer to his desk. “But why do you seem down?”

Your head jerks upward slightly. “Hmm?”

Bokuto rests his cheek on one palm. He sobers a bit and asks, “You did a lot of things today but you don’t seem happy.”

“Do I seem that way?” you ask, grabbing the pillow nearest to you.

Bokuto nods quickly, wearing a small pout. He looks cute when he’s worried.

“It’s nothing, really,” you say, hugging the pillow tightly.

“It doesn’t seem like nothing,” Bokuto presses.

“Look, I just…” You take a swift glance at your unopened books. “I didn’t study today. At all.”

Bokuto’s brows scrunch together. “It’s your break, isn’t it?”

“Yeah…” you mumble.

“How long is it?” Bokuto asks.

You lift two fingers up.

Your best friend—dramatic as always—places his hands on his head. “Two weeks? Then why would you be studying?”

“My other classmates are!” you raise your voice in frustration.

“But you already got in that fast-track program, right? Don’t they just make you study all the time?” he asks.

You remember all the all-nighters, the early mornings, the weekends that didn’t seem like weekends, and all the engagements you brushed off. “Yeah…”

“Then why would they still study during the break?”

“I don’t know! They’re just great like that!” You bury your head on your pillow.

Bokuto says nothing for a while.

“You’re great too, you know,” you hear him say softly.

You scoff. You genuinely appreciate his consolation, but you know the difference between you and your monster classmates.

“You are!” Bokuto insists, his face inching the camera closer.

You peek at him through your pillow. Your eyes water a bit but you are careful in revealing them to your best friend.

“And you have to recharge!” Bokuto bellows, forming two fists. “Coach Yamiji always used to say that rest is as important as practicing! So rest as much as you can! How will you be able to become an awesome doctor and fix the wounds of our children from volleyball if you’re going to end up like your zombie classmates?”

You freeze at his words.

Our children?

This was… new.

You and Bokuto have always been certain of your dreams. You always knew you wanted to be a doctor. Bokuto always knew that he wanted to be a volleyball player.

As the years went by, somehow, your dreams became intertwined. You imagined yourself building a clinic near a park. Bokuto, on the other hand, imagined himself setting up volleyball clinics to teach children how to play his favorite sport. After years of tending to his wounds, the two of you decided that when his kids were injured, he’d run them up to your clinic for some patching up.

It always used to be his kids. His children.

But now, it is our children.

The butterflies start fluttering in your stomach. It always does when Bokuto hugs you a little tigher, smiles at you a little longer, and treats you a little sweeter than usual. You try to suppress it, but as always, you can’t help but yearn for something more.

“Hello?” Bokuto’s words break you out of your reverie. “Are you still there? Did I lag or did you lag or something?”

“Our children?” are your first words for the man in front you.

“Wha—?” Bokuto’s perplexion is evident.

You get the pillow out of your way and sit up straight. “You said, our children.”

Bokuto’s eyes widen. “I did?”

“You did!” you confirm.

“Really?”

“Yes!” you cry. You lean closer to the screen. You heart is beating faster and faster and you are growing restless. “What do you mean, our children?”

“Why? Do you not want to?” Bokuto points an accusing finger (a shaking one at that).

“Do I not want to what?”

“Have children!”

“Of course I do!”

Bokuto gasps. “Wait! Do you not want to have children with me?”

Startled, you mirror his words. “Wait! You want to have children with me?”

“Of course, I do!”

Dear god, help me.

You become speechless. You slump back on the mattress behind you. And as much as you try to help it, you can’t—you laugh.

Offended, Bokuto spars. “Hey! Why are you—”

“I love you, Koutaro.”

Just like that, your boisterous best friend who always had something to say was out of words.

Just like that, you finally—finally confess the words and the feelings you’ve been burying for such a long time.

You think he’s going to say it back. After the banter you just had, after the way he’s been treating you lately, you think he will.

But he doesn’t.

You stare at the screen that shows your best friend who you have never seen so frozen.

“Kou—”

Bokuto blinks rapidly. “Wait, wait. Give me a minute—”

You hear the clicks of his mouse and his screen turns black. The call is still on, but he has turned off his camera.

Oh no. Were you too impulsive? Is he appalled by what you said? Does he not feel the same way? But he did say that we wanted to have children with you, right? Was that just a mistake?

The ring of a phone diverts your attention from your train of thought. At first, you think it is yours. When the person from the other line picks up, you realize that it is Bokuto’s. He was calling someone else.

“Akaashi! Akaashi! What do I do?” you hear Bokuto’s frantic voice. Akaashi?

“Bokuto-san?” you hear your kouhai’s confused voice.

Puzzled and curious, you listen in on their conversation.

“Akaashi! What do I do? I was supposed to say it first!”

“Bokuto-san, hold on. Relax.”

You hear Bokuto taking deep breaths.

“Okay, okay, I’m calm.”

“Okay, now, tell me what happened. I’m assuming this is about senpai?”

Senpai? Me?

“Yes! We were talking just a while ago and were arguing about something and then she told me she loved me! I was supposed to say it first! Akaashi, our plans—” Plans? He had plans? “—are ruined! I messed up!”

“Wait, so she told you she loved you?”

“Uh-huh!”

“And what did you say right after?”

“I-I told her to give me a minute?”

“A minute? For what?”

“To call you!”

Akaashi pauses, seeming to try to connect all the dots.

“So right after she tells you she loves you, you call me… Don’t you think you forgot to do something, Bokuto-san?”

“He’s right you know,” you cut in. You could not help it. Their conversation is making you more confused. And a bit annoyed.

The other line grows silent.

Akaashi speaks first. “Was that senpai?”

“Oh my god! I thought I pressed mute already!” Bokuto panics.

At this point, Akaashi seems the more frustrated than before. “Bokuto-san! You were still on the call?”

“Yes?” you hear the embarrassment in your best friend’s voice.

“With all due respect, please go figure this out with senpai first,” Akaashi says with his composed tone. “Senpai, I’m really sorry for this.”

Akaashi ends the call. A few seconds later, Bokuto’s camera opens again. The man behind it, however, is avoiding your gaze.

You decide to stay leaning your back on your bed and you cross your arms.

“He’s a smart kid,” you say.

No one speaks for a while. Bokuto shifts his eyes everywhere except the camera. You continue looking at him with stern eyes.

He takes a deep breath. “So…”

“So?” you copy.

He sneaks a glance at you. “You love me?”

You raise a brow at him.

He faces you completely. “What?”

You pretend to examine your nails. “I thought you ‘wanted to say it first.’”

“I-I-I did!” he stutters. Bokuto with his exaggerated gestures tries to explain. “I had it all planned out! We were supposed to meet at the end of summer and there were supposed to be flowers and—”

You are quick to cut him off. “You know what, Koutaro, spare me the details. Here’s what we’re going to do.” Bokuto straightens on the other side. “You go do whatever you planned. But this time, make it better, grander.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he replies automatically.

“That’s what you get for calling Akaashi right after I confess. Understood?”

“Crystal clear, ma’am.”

“Good.”

You soften after that, which makes him relax a little.

He lifts a finger to scratch his temple. “I’m sorry.”

You huff. What are you going to do with him?

From the other side, you see your best friend straighten up one last time. His eyes are full of conviction. He seems the most serious that you have seen him.

“I love you,” he says. Finally.

You have longed to hear those words from him for years. You have always held on to him. Yet, you have never let yourself give away too much because you were afraid that he might not feel the same way. But apparently, he does. And you will never ever let him go.

So even if he was a bit of an idiot, you utter the words that he was supposed to say first.

“I love you, Koutaro.”

The expression that blooms on his face is sight like no other.

So this is what it feels like to be loved back.

For a while, the two of you just stare at each other, smiling. Like two fools in love.

After a few minutes, your mind clears a smidge and you decide that having two fools in this relationship is a bit too much. You aren’t going to be one, at least not today.

You whip out your phone for a final jest.

“So, should I call Akaashi after you told me you love me too?”

The gravity of what Bokuto just did dawns on him. “You’re never going to let this go, are you?”

You smirk. “Never.”

The next few minutes are taken up by a lengthy phone call with your Fukurodani kouhai and your new boyfriend sulking in the background.

As you lie in bed that night, you can’t help the smile on your face.

You didn’t open any of your books at all today. You didn’t take a glimpse into your books. For certain, your classmates are chapters ahead of you already.

But how many of them were able to sleep to their heart’s content? How many of them were able to play with their cute puppy? How many of them were able to appreciate the flowers in the city?

How many of them have had their best friend tell them that they loved them today?

Maybe they had a productive day.

But hey, you had a day well-spent too.

HAIKYUU MASTERLIST • AO3 LINK

[gaijinhunter]

Monster Hunter Rise: 2nd Trailer and news blowout

Hey guys this is Gaijinhunter. I am uploading this as a text post since I caught a cold and have been unable to edit a video.

There was a huge second wave of news for Monster Hunter Rise with the reveal of the 2nd trailer the other day during the Game Awards 2020 show. Keep in mind the actual full length trailer is much longer and better than the shorter edit they showed during the show so makes sure you watch it. It showcased a second map, 2 new monsters, several returning monsters, and more. They also updated their official website with a ton of information so instead of doing a trailer reaction or breakdown, I am going to give you all the info they shared but split up by category, trying to focus only on the new stuff.

New Map

Director Ichinose hinted in an interview that one of the new maps would be nostalgic and boy he wasn't kidding. The Flooded Forest from Third Generation has been massively remade and is back in MH rise. Of course given this game’s focus is verticality, there is no underwater combat sections but they really nailed it from what I can see. One of the most iconic parts of the forest was the ruins in the backgrounds, and now you can scale up it using the wirebug. How cool is that. 

With the new map we also got the reveal of 2 new monsters.

First up is the mermaid wyvern, the Somnacanth. This marks the much hyped return of the leviathan class of monsters which were missing in world and iceborne. This Monster looks so wild. It has a special breath that will put you to sleep, is super aggressive, and has this crazy taiko drum like chest in which it will grab oysters and other things and bust them against it to break them open and buff itself. The Japanese name is quite a mouthful and is called Isonemikuni. This is the monster that Ichinose teased with his cute drawing on twitter.

Next up is the tengu beast, Bishaten. This monster is really unique, it looks like a mix of a monkey, bat, and bird. It has a huge and powerful tail it uses for massive mobility and it will chuck various fruits at you as well. One of the most iconic fruits it throws are persimmons, which are very Japanese and if you haven’t had them before, they are kind of an acquired taste. It’s Japanese name is Bishutendo. 

For returning monsters we have a few. First is our favorite sponge, the Royal Ludroth. This is a fan favorite and a great early to mid game monster. It has one of the best move sets in my opinion, very telegraphed but it can still catch you off guard even if you are super used to it. Strategically figuring gout where to stand in order to cut off its tail or break the sponge has always been really fun and intersting so I’m delighted to see this monster return, also look at that texture of the sponge!

Then we got the return of the Great Wroggi, the anti-poison skill tutorial monster. This thing really messed me up back in MH3G until I spent the time to get the materials to craft anti-posion decorations and even then, like the Great Izuchi, it fights really well with its sidekick small wroggis and I cant wait to see the improved cooperative AI that they are making for the Great Izuchi applied to this monster as well. It’s armor also spots a really cool Crocodile Dundee hat and look in the trailer and you can see the palico armor as well. So cool.

Finally, we got a small scene that appears to show a snow map and a group of baggi getting hit by a Khezu lightening shot. Does this mean the Great Baggi will return? Not sure. But that scream 100% is a Khezu, and I cannot wait to see how it looks with higher resolution texturing, I bet it will be creepy as heck. So while not technically confirmed, I’d say it’s safe to say Khezu is returning in some form. The balance of all these monsters is so great, I love the selection so far.

As far as other returning monsters that might return, I think we all expect nargacuga and zinogre. These are flagship monsters from games directed by Ichinose and he even tweeted his palamute and palico both named after these two monsters. Especially given the Japanese aesthetic, I think it’s pretty much guaranteed they are returning. Then I think mizutsune is also highly likely given its Japanese design, the fox theme, the kimono armor. Plus the model for it doesn't look that far off from the new Somnacanth. Anyway I have super hyped.

Interaction with animals and endemic life

One of the huge features of Monster Hunter Rise is the focus on wild life and animals to buff your hunter or be used as tools during a hunt.

There are 4 major types of Endemic Life: Temp Buffer, Permabuffer, Hunting Helper, and environmental.

For Permabuffer, we got a new render of the Spiribirds, which will buff your hunter if you move near one, and the effects depend on the color of the pollen it is carrying. Green increases your max Health, Orange increases your defense, red increases your attack power, and yellow increases your max stamina. There is even a special rainbow colored one, which I assume will buff all 4.

Via their website, Capcom announced a new item called the Petalace, a bracelet made of a plant called a Sending Sprig that each hunter has equipped. This is what collects the pollen from the birds and buffs your hunter. There is a variety of Petalaces in the game and some may increase the amount in which an attack boost is applied from a single Spiribird, raise the max value that health can be boosted, and more. Here in the screen shot we can see the caps for each and the amount gained for each buff. Just a quick note but this is not going to be replacing charms as we know that they are giving away a talisman for pre-order.

For Temp Buffer creatures, they revealed the name of the Clothfly, a butterfly that will temporarily increase your defense once you interact with it and cause it to generate a cloud of dust. In previous videos we have seen Peepers that reduce stamina usage, birds that raise your base stats, and a dragonfly that boosts your affinity and I had calculated it out to being applied for 90 seconds but we’ll have to wait for hte final game to see if that depends on the effect or if they change it, but it sounds about right.

For Hunting Helper creatures, we got an adorable new render of the Stinkmink. You can carry up to 5 Hunting Helpers and use them like items. The Stinkmink can be used to cover yourself in a special pheromone that will attract large monsters to you, even allowing you to lure one monster toward another to cause a turf war. I personally can think of other applications like luring a monster toward a trap and stuff like that.

And for environmental endemic life, they didn't show it in the trailer but there are also wildlife that can be used like environmental traps. For example, use raw meat and the giganha fish will go crazy, damaging anything nearby be it a hunter or monster. I can’t wait to see someone hunt a Great Wroggi using only raw meat. I love that we finally will have more use for this item.

NPCs

In the new trailer we got to hear several of the NPC villagers talking and on the website they go into a lot more details. They have quite the star-studded cast in Japanese and the English voice actors are also very interesting picks. This really marks the first time in Monster Hunter that the main cast of villagers will all be called by name and speak, which I think adds a lot of personality to the game.

First we have Fugen the village elder of Kamura and skilled long sword user. 

Then we have Hinoa the Quest Maiden, a cheerful and optimistic girl who serves as the quest giver in the village while her twin sister runs the gathering hub. While not announced in any other language, the French and Italian language sites for the game list her sister’s name as Minoto. Hinoa’s name is Hinoe in Japnaese and for the rest of the cast their names are identical between the two languages.

One thing I am excited for is that they said that one of the ways they will help communicate the uniqueness of Kamura is through songs and they shared a sample of one of them in the full trailer. This one is sung by Izumi Kato. If you remember back in Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate they featured songs by the wyverian Diva, and I am so happy they decided to do songs again, they add so much richness to the world and are just lovely to listen to.

Next up is Yomogi, our village chef. In this game you will eat meals at her Tea Shop, where her speciality is the Bunny Dango she makes along with the help of some palicoes. I love that we’ve seen her in past videos with a heavy bowgun, so the idea that all the villagers are active participants in the story is great. 

Then we have Hamon the blacksmith. He used to hunt alongside Fugen back in the day but now creates weapons for the hunters of the village. His grandson also appears in the game and is a kind-hearted youth that loves your hunting companions.

Next is Kagero the merchant. Despite his mysterious appearance he is actually very warm and kind. If there is a sale going on, not only can you buy most items for half off, but you can also participate in a lottery where you spin a wheel and it dispenses a colored ball. Get a rare color ball to win a rare prize. You can do it once per sale, but you can also scan an amiibo to spin two more times, but only once per day per amiibo you own.

Finally we have Komitsu the sweet-tooth, she sells candy apples in town. What these do is still not yet revealed.

Companions

We got an adorable render for the Cohoot, the pet owl that shows the positions of monsters on your map. You can interact with it in the town and even dress them up in fancy outfits.

Kamura Village

We got gameplay showing that the entire village is open to the 4 person multiplayer session and you can even ride around on your palamute and use your wirebug while in the village to zip around and have fun. There is still a gathering hall but the ability to see each other in the village as well as jump around and really explore it is a lovely change they are making.

Story wise we got more info about the Rampage, both a story mechanic and new quest type. For some reason the monsters will sometimes gang up and attack the village all at once and no one knows why. They call this a Rampage. There was a really bad rampage 50 years ago that nearly destroyed the village and in response the town has created a Stronghold to stop further invasions. This looks like a new quest type with multiple monsters all at once, and a slew of different artillery options at your disposal. I could see this as being a really fun type of quest to do online with other players. 

And of course the most exciting news was that there will be a demo in January with more details to come later. That is far earlier than I expected and I now have to finish up my back catalogue of games in like the next month.

And that about wraps it up. Cpacom said that they will be sharing weapon preview videos for all 14 types very soon and if they do the way they used to do it, we’ll get one new video a day for 2 weeks. I hope you enjoyed this recap of the news and please let me know down in comments what you thought about the second trailer. And until next time, happy hunting.

[theshadowsong]

Ordinary evening

Yes I wrote something stupid xD My OC Diya is the assistant of Archibald and clearly annoyed of his behavior lol (with a fluffy ending)

I really tried to translate all the names of people and places right, because they differ from the German version. Sorry when something is wrong though

It was a typical ordinary evening in Clairdelune and Archibald was once again celebrating one of his parties. People of the nobility, especially of the Illusionists and the Web gathered, laughed artificially, danced and drank. And none of them wasted even a thought that someone might want to concentrate here.

Wearing a simple purple dress, Diya sat in one of the many side rooms of the mansion, trying to think. Her long hair, lighter on top than underneath, fell silky smooth into her face. Annoyed, she wiped a strand out of her field of vision and immediately regretted it a moment later. As soon as she touched her hair, it was electrified by the cold, dry air of the pole. Even the best illusion couldn‘t change that, her hair had always been very sensitive.

„Ah the little assistant.“ Diya looked up from her notes and groaned inwardly. Standing before her was the director of the Nibelungen. One of the most unpleasant people she had ever met. She tried to ignore the disparaging tone and put on a fake smile.

„What can I do for you?“ She couldn‘t help but sound a little annoyed, especially since the director had been getting on her nerves terribly for quite a while.

„Regarding the request, I assume the Ambassador has already been informed?“

Diya raised an eyebrow, „Your application has only been on file for two days, Director.“

„It is of the utmost importance that...“

„I will present the application to the Ambassador after I read it.“ She interrupted him, conspicuously emphasizing the word „after.“

The man opposite her gasped indignantly.

„I see manners have not been taught to you in any case, cook.“ Dyia looked skeptically at the director. Indeed she had been a cook before becoming Archibald‘s assistant, but she was such a miserable cook that it almost bordered on poisoning. In a way, the ambassador had probably saved her from the arduous life of a servant.

It was also to be expected that the nobility of the Pole was not very enthusiastic about showing a servant a certain amount of respect. Even if she was officially no longer one. In addition, she wasn‘t even from the Pole. Which is also not entirely true, because she was indeed born here. But because of the unequal darker skin tone, the Polians were all pale and light blond, with the sandy brown hair and the green eyes, everybody noticed immediately that she was of a different descent. Her mother came from Al Ondaltus, as a visitor to Pol. From her, she also had her family power, which she hid as well as she could.

Diya could sense and alter the emotions of others, which might not be a popular gift at the Pole. Her father had been a page who died before she was born. Her mother disappeared. But left her in the care of a nasty old woman who liked nothing better than to mend old socks over a bottle of whiskey.

„Are you being molested?“ Archibald‘s blond curly head appeared in the doorway. He was beaming as usual. His gaze lingered on the director, who grimaced.

„You should control your employees better, I already made a request two days ago...“ Archibald‘s bright laughter interrupted him and Diya just hoped for this conversation to end soon. The director of the Nibelungen scowled even more.

„But, but... do you know how many applications and documents come in here every day, I guess you‘ll have to be patient.“ Archibald fluted cheerfully and winked at Diya.

She had nothing to add.

Outraged, the director whirled around and stormed out of the room.

„Well that was interesting.“

„No it wasn‘t.“ Diya‘s headache increased, as it always does when there are too many people in one spot. Too many feelings all at once. Add to that the ever-present sensations of the family spirit she was always aware of. She would have to leave the pole just to escape Farouk‘s confused aura.

„You should really have some fun for once,“ Archibald laughed, eyeing himself over the table of documents, his breath sweet, having already had a drink or two.

„And who’s going to do all your work then?“ Diya gave the ambassador a playfully reproachful look. „Apart from that, neither the alcohol nor the presence of all these people help with my headache.“

Archibald was one of the few who knew about her powers. Diya tried to tune them out as much as possible. Diving into the feelings of others was already very personal, but on the other hand, it wasn‘t equally easy to read everyone. Many hid their true feelings from themselves, others were so open that they practically threw their feelings in her face.

Archibald‘s smile became more tentative, and he straightened up again.

„At least promise me to eat something.“ Out of nowhere, probably having held it in his hand all along, he whipped out a plate of cake.

„Ah? I guess cake counts as a full meal with you guys, huh?“ teased Diya, accepting the plate. „Sure, especially with strawberries.“

They heard some groping footsteps and then a high-pitched, definitely drunk voice of a woman, „Ohh Archi!!? Where are you?“

„Well, I’m being summoned.“ The one addressed raised his hat and gave a deliberately exaggerated bow to his assistant, who just rolled her eyes and poured herself a glass of water.

A few hours passed until the people slowly dwindled and Diya‘s headache disappeared. Sighing, she got up, the music had been off for a while, instead the sound of a piano key kept repeating.

Diya walked down a corridor past a small fountain, which she was convinced was an illusion. In the room she entered afterwards, there were several sofas, armchairs and tables. There was also a piano on which a figure was playing the same key, half lying down.

Archibald‘s curls were even more tangled than usual and his face was slightly red.

„Archibald?“

He didn‘t respond at all.

Diya looked at him for a few seconds, then sat down next to him.

„Archibald, look at me.“ gingerly, she lifted his chin and forced him to look her in the face. „Dude how much did you drink?“ reproachfully, she looked at the ambassador, but the addressed one only laughed inanely and tried to stand up. He failed miserably, staggered and almost fell down if Diya had not supported him. Without thinking about whether he might have been too heavy to be carried by his assistant, he leaned his entire weight against her.

„Thisss is... well, not... how late isss it...?“ he slurred, laughing again.

„To late.“ hissed Diya, who had to muster all her concentration not to fall down. With difficulty, she hoisted him onto a sofa, where he plopped down at an odd angle. He was still giggling stupidly to himself. She couldn‘t possibly leave him alone like that.

„You’re really making more work for me than necessary,“ she reprimanded Archibald, settling down on the sofa next to him. Archibald had stopped giggling and looked at her with wide eyes. „Are you mad at me?“

Surprised, she looked at him, sounding seriously concerned. The way he was lying next to her on the sofa, he almost seemed like a child.  „No, of course not.“

Diya was just dog-tired, nevertheless she would wait until Archibald fell asleep. She grabbed a book from the side table and started flipping through it randomly, she was way too tired to concentrate.

After 10 minutes of nursing, she thought he had fallen asleep, but suddenly he put his head on her lap. Irritated, she looked at the ambassador, with his worn clothes, unshaven face and tangled hair, he had more similarities with a bum than with a nobleman. Still, one could not help but find him attractive. Sighing, Diya closed the book and put it aside.

Gently, she placed her hand on his head. She would not find sleep in that position, but Archibald was already blissfully slumbering. Her fingers played with the surprisingly soft curls. A little helplessly, she shook her head.

„Idiot.“ whispered Diya, but could not hide a smile.

[marvelgurl]

Off-Limits: Part 1

Characters: Tom Holland X Reader Osterfield, Harrison Osterfield

Word Count: 2005

Warning: language, fluff (I think that's it...)

A/n: This is the first of many parts. I want to apologize now, this part is a little on the boring side (well that's what I think) but I needed to set a lot of things up in this in this one. It gets better I promise.

Also Feedback is more than welcome, the good and the bad.

Tumblr Masterlist. Off-Limits Masterlist

Today was a hectic day for you to say the least. You had to make sure everything was set for your move back home tomorrow. You have been living in the states for the last four years. You had left home to pursue dancing. You had gotten into Juilliard. It was something that you had dreamed of since you were a little girl. Your mother had signed you up for dance when you were about 4 and you just never took off your ballet slippers. When you had gotten accepted, you were in shock. Only 7% of applicants are actually accepted. With the support of your amazing family, you were able to follow that dream. You had left home at 17, now here you are 21 and a Juilliard graduate.

*Ring

*Ring

“Hello?”

“Hey Y/n!”

“Harrison, how are you?

“I’m good, Are you ready for tomorrow?”

“Well since you called me in the middle of me packing, I’m going to say no, I’m not ready at all Haz.”

You were so excited to hear from him. It felt like you haven’t talked to him in ages. When in reality you talked to him almost every day. You were looking forward to seeing him tomorrow. It has been hard on you not being able to see him. You guys were super close before you left. Which made you try that much harder to keep in touch with him. There were nights where you were up extremely late, because of rehearsals, and you still wanted to talk to him. So, you would call, and every time without fail, he would pick up. Some nights you guys would just sit on facetime and not actually be talking. You have fallen asleep on the phone with him many times, but you wouldn’t change those moments for anything.

“Well maybe you should have started earlier.” The sass coming from him made you chuckle.

“I started three days ago. I just get sidetracked easily remember.”

“With what? Have you collected that much stuff in the last four years?”

“No, it’s just I have tons of photos and things that bring up memories. Mostly it’s the stuff that I brought with me that keeps distracting me.”

“Oh well, soon you will be back home, and you won’t have to look at my adorable face through photos anymore.”

“Bold of you to assume that they are all of you.”

“Well who else would they be of?”

“Hold on.”

You switched to facetime. After Haz popped up on your screen you propped up your phone on the table. You walked over to one of your bags and pulled out a box. Bringing it over to the table before opening it. The first photo was of you and Harrison. You were about 6 and he was 5. You had your hand on your hip, you were also kind of glaring at Haz because he was making fun of you for being shorter than him.

“I know this one has you in it, but I absolutely love it. Do you remember when mum took us to that studio to have professional photos taken?” You flipped the photo around for him to see.

“Yeah, I looked good in those photos.”

“Haz, I’m in those photos too.”

“Sorry, my eyes went straight to me.” He gave you a little smile.

“Of course, they did.” You picked up the next one. “This one is of me and my favorite Holland boy.”

You showed him a photo of you and Paddy. It was from the day before you were leaving for New York. He was super upset that you were leaving. He was hugging you and didn’t want to let you go. You asked him if he had a photo of the two of you, would it help him. He of course said yes. So, you pulled your phone out and took a photo. Later you had two of them printed, and you gave one to him and kept one for yourself.

“Aww Paddy. Okay I will give you that one. He’s my favorite too. Next one.”

“You do realize that this isn’t helping me get any packing done.”

“I know but would you rather be doing this or packing?”

“You got me there. Moving on, this one is of Tom and I.”

You show him the photo. Tom had picked you up and had you hanging off his shoulder. You were laughing pretty hard at his sudden movement. You remember being too far back, you thought that he was going to drop you. So, you had wrapped one of your arms around his waist to make sure you had an anchor if you slipped out of his hands.

“If I remember correctly, I took that photo.”

“Okay, I am so done with you.”

“No, wait what else do you have in that box?”

“Umm, a bunch of little things. Like movie stubs, a small notebook that has drawings, concert tickets, some old jewelry that is too small for me now, my first pair of ballet shoes, some cards, figurines and a few other things.”

“Wow, I didn’t know you were so sentimental.”

“Well I am. This box is basically my life. Everything in here has a memory or a feeling attached to it. Whether it was mine, someone gave it to me or even just one of the photos. I would be absolutely devastated if something happened to it”

“That’s a lot of pressure to put on a box Y/n.” This caused both of you to chuckle, you could tell he was trying to lighten the mood.

“I guess it is, but it is literally my world in a box.”

You started hearing talking in the background. Harrison looked off to the side and started talking.

“Oh, sorry mate I didn’t realize you were on a call.”

“It’s okay, she won’t mind.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.” Harrison turned his phone slightly to the side so that half of his face was still on screen. The other half was to dark to make out a face. You started looking around at how much you had left to do.

“Y/n?” The voice sounded familiar, but you looked around for a few more seconds.

“Yeah. Hey Haz, I think I should…” When you finally looked back Tom’s face was next to your brothers. “TOM!!”

“Hey! How are you?” He seemed genuinely excited to see you.

“I’m doing alright. I have a lot of packing to finish up in the next few hours though. How are you?”

“I’m good. I’m on holiday right now. I must go back to work in a few months. So, I’m enjoying the time I have at home.”

“That’s great. Soon you will be back to saving people around the neighborhood, right Spiderboy.”

“Oh, now that hurts. It’s Spider-Man Darling.” He put his hand on his heart like you had really offended him.

“Umm… I like Spider-Boy better.” You had a cheeky grin on your face.

“Wow… I didn’t realize how much of an accent you had gotten from being over there.”

“I don’t have an accent.”

“Yes, you do. It would be weird if you didn’t though. You have been there for four years.”

“I personally don’t think I have an accent, but I guess I can’t really hear it while I’m speaking.”

Harrison was just looking between the two of you. He didn’t like the fact that you were flirting with each other, but he didn’t say anything. They have been friends just as long as he and Tom have. He decided to let the two of you talk for a little bit longer.

“I would love to keep talking but I really do have a lot of things left to pack.”

“That’s okay, I will see you when you get back.”

“Absolutely.”

“Bye Y/n. See you tomorrow. Love you.”

“Bye Haz, love you too. Bye Tom.”

“Bye.”

-The Boys-

Harrison ended the call he looked over at Tom, who was looking at his phone with a large grin on his face. Tom quickly noticed that Harrison was looking at him, and his facial expression changed.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” Tom had a confused look on his face.

“Nothing.”

“It’s not nothing, what’s wrong man?”

“I’m fine.”

“I have known you long enough to know when something is wrong. So, let’s just skip this and tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong.” He paused for a few seconds. “How long have you liked Y/n?”

“What?! I don’t, we are just friends.”

“Then why are you flirting with her?”

“I wasn’t. Like I said we are just friends.”

Harrison got up and started walking to the door to leave. “Let’s keep it that way Tom.”

-Back to Y/n-

After the call ended you got back to work. You were able to get the rest of your things packed with little to no distractions. Once that was all done you started on the cleaning. You also made sure to lay out everything on the counter that you would need for the morning. After going through your mental check list, you packed it all into your backpack.

Once everything was done, you looked around the empty apartment. Thinking about all the memories that you have made here. You were going to miss it, but you couldn’t wait to go home.

You remembered back to when Tom and Harrison were in New York. You had been able to see Tom in action. Harrison brought you to set a couple of times while Tom was filming. You had an awesome time seeing how all the things on set work. How even though there are a million different moving parts, they worked like a well-oiled machine. You were also able to meet a few of the cast members while you were there.

In return, you had taken Harrison and Tom with you to a few rehearsals and then your final showcase. You know that it wasn’t as exciting as watching a Marvel movie being made but you wanted to show the guys what you had been doing. They were excited to go with you. After the showcase you had found them, they were telling you how awesome you had done. They also told you how proud of you they were. Tom had gotten you a bouquet of flowers, which was another thing you had in your box. You had taken a couple of the flowers and pressed them until they dried. Then you sealed them so that they would stay like that forever.

The next day, you were up early enough that it didn’t seem like you had gotten any sleep. You packed your rental car with all your bags before going to return your keys to the landlord. Then you were off to the airport. After the car was returned, bags were checked and you were on the plane, you finally felt like you could relax. You had a 7-hour flight ahead of you. You had plenty of things to distract you for that time. You would be getting to London around 20:00 (8pm) Due to the time change.

Once you landed, you had to get a trolley for your luggage. Your Mother had dropped off a car for you. Thankfully she had given you a spare key before leaving. You packed the car and drove home. You had so much anxiety built up from the last few days. Now as you were getting closer, you could start to feel all of it melting away.

You pulled the car up in front of your childhood home. You decide to sit there for a few moments. You couldn’t believe after all this time you were finally home. You loved America, but nothing can compare to being back in London. You took a deep breath before getting out of the car. You decided to unload all your bags and carry them up the stairs to the door. After you had everything there, you were finally ready to opened the door.

Off-Limits Tags:

@aidinniram @houseofflufff @justafangirlduh​ @shrutipatel08 

[argylemnwrites]

Some Definition

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x MC (Cassie Vanderfield)

Book: Open Heart (post book 2)

Word Count: ~2000

Rating: PG

Summary: Cassie is done being the “cool girl.”

Author’s Note: Well, I know a ton of the fandom is looking forward to OH3 coming out later this week, but I’m just... not. I hated the majority of OH2, and I just don’t have faith in PB to write OH3 in ways that I don’t find wildly frustrating. So, I’ve decided not to read it. I think I’ll be a lot happier not having to rationalize why Bryce and my MC haven’t defined their relationship, why my MC is consistently asked to care about Ramsey’s personal problems, and why Bryce’s residency is only four years when in should be five (or seven, if he takes research years, hahaha).

So, from here on out, I’m just going to be writing fic that is canon-compliant through the end of OH2. I had assumed that Bryce and Cassie would be in a committed relationship at this point, and I really don’t have interest in their dynamic if they aren’t committed to each other after two years (and a near death experience, smh at you, PB). So, everything I write that is set after the end of OH2 will just ignore whatever nonsense PB gives us, and this little fic serves as my personal break point.

Written partially out of frustration with the direction PB took this series, but also for Day 16 of the @choicesfebchallenge - Confession.

Cassie sat on the edge of Bryce’s bed, twisting her fingers around in her lap. She was supposed to be getting undressed. At least that’s what Bryce had hinted she should do when they got back to his place while he grabbed them both glasses of water. But she couldn’t. Her conversation with Elijah from Ines’ housewarming party earlier was stuck in her mind.

“Needless to say, my parents were pretty thrilled when I said I was looking at U of Chicago and Northwestern for fellowship. What about you, considering heading back to the Midwest?”

“Oh! Umm, I don’t know,” Cassie said, her eyes jumping to Bryce over by the keg before she could stop herself.

Elijah followed her gaze and let out a little sigh. “Well, you’ll have to make some choices pretty soon.”

His words haunted her for the rest of the party, worming their way into her thoughts over and over again. He was totally right. Not just career choices, but personal choices. Because after two years, she and Bryce still weren’t anything defined or official.

She’d tried to be cool about it. She’d tried to just enjoy what they had. But she was going to be applying for fellowship very soon. And she knew that if she made decisions about where in the country she was applying because of a guy who she couldn’t even legitimately call her boyfriend, that would make her so foolish.

The door swung open, revealing the man in question, taking a swig of water from one glass and carrying another. He did a little double take when he saw her just sitting there, placing both glasses on his dresser once he finished his drink.

“Hey, you okay?” he asked, crouching down in front of her.

“Bryce, what are we doing?”

“What do you mean?”

Cassie closed her eyes. “I need to know...” she took a deep breath, trying to steady herself, before opening her eyes and continuing, “I need to know what we are.”

Bryce frowned, coming to sit next to her on the edge of the bed. “Cassie, you’re so important to me,” he said, grabbing her hand, tracing his thumb over her knuckles. “You mean so much to me.” He leaned over, tracing his thumb across her cheek, leaning in and briefly pressing his lips to hers before pulling back. “I care about you so much.”

It would be so easy to give in, to let it stand at that. But the fact was that those words, as heartwarming and flattering as they were, didn’t really answer her question. So instead of getting swept away, she scooted further down the bed, shaking her head as she pulled her hand from his.

“I know you do, Bryce. But that wasn’t what I asked.”

“Where is this coming from? I thought we had a good time tonight?”

“We did.”

He stared at her, obviously trying to read her, trying to figure out what he was missing. “I don’t get it, Cassie. What’s wrong?”

She bit the inside of her cheek, trying to stay steady and calm. She didn’t want to come across as some pathetic, needy girl whose happiness was dependent on some guy. But she also was coming to the realization that if Bryce didn’t want an actual relationship, it was probably time to end whatever they had. Spend her last year at Edenbrook just focusing on her career, getting some papers published, going to conferences, that sort of thing.

“I guess I just need to make some decisions, with my fellowship application coming up soon.”

Bryce nodded, “Yeah, I get that. But trust me, you’ll have your pick. Every diagnostics program in the country is going to want you.”

She smiled at that, but she knew it was a hollow one. Sure, she had her fears about the whole process, but fellowship match was so much less stressful than residency match, at least in diagnostics. Her worries were so much more personal. “And what if it’s a program in Georgia or Texas or Washington where I end up?”

“If you want ‘em, you’ll match there. I’m sure of it, Cass. You are brilliant, and your CV is a perfect one for diagnostics. All the other applicants are going to hate you.”

Cassie had to close her eyes, not wanting him to see the tears starting to pool there. He looked so eager and hopeful and joyous and pretty, sitting there, a giant grin on his face. He was so supportive, but it was clear that her being close to him wasn’t a priority for him at all. And after two years, after everything they’d been through, it stung. Badly.

“I think I’m going to get going,” she choked out, pushing herself off the bed, not chancing opening her eyes until she was facing away from him. Tears were already starting to track down her cheeks, and she needed to get out of there before she had a total meltdown.

“Cassie!” he called out. She heard rustling behind her and felt his fingers grasp her wrist, but she kept going, knowing he wouldn’t actually physically stop her. Sure enough, those same fingers peeled away the next instant as she didn’t slow down. She swiped her hand under her eyes as she bolted through the living room towards the front door of his apartment. How she was going to explain this later she had no idea, but she needed to get out of there, get a grip, and start to move on with her life.

Suddenly, Bryce appeared in front of her, his hands gently resting on her shoulders. “Cassie, what’s wrong? We can fix it; I promise.”

His eyes were so wide and earnest, he looked so determined and sure, but all it did was break her heart more. She just shook her head, even more tears flowing. “I don’t think-” her voice cracked, so she took a breath before she continued, “Please just let me go home, Bryce.”

Bryce stared at her for a tense second. “Is that what you really want?”

She shook her head as she swiped away more tears with the back of her hand. “It’s what I need, Bryce.”

He dropped his hands from her shoulders and ran one through his hair as he stepped back. He looked so lost and confused. “I’m sorry,” he said.

“Why?”

He shrugged. “Obviously, I upset you. I’m not sure how, but clearly I did. So, I’m sorry.”

Cassie shook her head. “You don’t need to be sorry. You’ve never led me on or anything. I guess I just hoped that maybe… But, it’s fine. You did nothing wrong. You aren’t obligated to care where I end up for fellowship or anything.”

“Cassie, of course I care where you end up!”

“Right. As a friend. But you don’t care if I end up near you.”

“I shouldn’t be-” he took a breath and started again, “What matters is your career, Cassie. That’s what you should consider. Not me. I’m not a factor here.”

“I know,” she shook her head, wiping her eyes yet again, wishing she could stop crying, wishing she’d been able to hold it together a little better. “I just wish you wanted to be.” She gave him a little watery smile and shrug before heading to the door. There was nothing left to say.

“Cassie, wait!” Bryce cried out, brushing past her and standing in front of the door. “I promise, I’ll let you go,” he said, holding his hands up in front of his chest. “But you need to know it’s not that I don’t want to be a factor. I’m just not gonna be so selfish that I ask you to make me a factor.”

She paused for a moment, trying to figure out if what he was telling her mattered at all or not. “Bryce, I… Even if that’s true, I can’t keep doing this. Just rolling along, being a cool girl, pretending like I don’t need to label anything.”

Bryce was quiet for a second, so Cassie moved to step past him, but he shook his head, stopping her in her tracks. “Why didn’t you say anything?” His voice was quiet, subdued. He didn’t sound like himself. 

“Bryce, I confessed that this meant something to me over a year ago. I wasn’t going to drag you into a relationship you clearly didn’t want.”

“Didn’t want? Cassie, I didn’t want to burden you.”

“What are you-”

“I’m a mess, Cassie. You know that. I just figured you would have the good sense to not want to get involved with my drama beyond some fun.”

“How are you a mess?”

“Well, my parents-”

“-You aren’t them. You distanced yourself from them.”

“And my sister-”

“-Is a teenager you took in and did your best to help raise and support and love. Your relationship with Keiki is wonderful, not a downside at all.”

Bryce smiled briefly, glancing down at his feet, but kept going. “I’m a workaholic.”

“I don’t think there is a way to be a resident and not be a workaholic, Bryce.”

 “I couldn’t even make pasta, for god’s sake!”

Cassie couldn’t help but chuckle at that, a few more tears spilling out even if she had largely stopped crying by this point. “Alright, I’ll give you that one. But you learned, Bryce. You learned and grew, and that’s enough.”

He shook his head, his eyes still locked on the ground. “Last time I was someone’s boyfriend, I was pretty bad at it. And I don’t know if you’ve picked up on this, but I don’t do well when I’m not excelling at something. I don’t like being mediocre at things.”

Cassie stepped forward, linking her pinkie around Bryce’s. He glanced at their hands before making eye contact. “I don’t need perfect, Bryce. I just need… more. For you to at least try. And for the record, I think you were probably better at being a boyfriend than you give yourself credit for.”

He shook his head. “Nah, you know me. I’m not exactly shy about my strengths. It was bad, Cassie.”

She shrugged. “Well, then work on it. Get better. You learned how to cook. You figured out how to provide stability for your sister. And although you might try to deny it, I am pretty sure you weren’t born a surgeon. You learned how to do those things. This doesn’t have to be any different.”

He stood there, but he didn’t say anything for what felt like an eternity. Cassie felt her cheeks growing warm as embarrassment settled in. He was probably just being polite, and she had to go and corner him, make things awkward. “Of course, if you don’t want to, I understand. I just-”

Her words died as Bryce turned his hand and fully interlocked their fingers, tugging her close and kissing her. After a few seconds, he pulled back, sliding his free hand to her cheek. “Only an idiot wouldn’t want to be your boyfriend, Cassie.”

A strange little chuckle bubbled out of her at that. “So, are you saying…”

“That I want to be your boyfriend? Yeah, I want that. Do you still want that? I’m not exactly off to an auspicious start here, what with making you cry and then after that making you console me and give me a pep talk and-”

It was her turn to cut him off, kissing him soundly, placing her hand behind his neck and holding him close. After what could have been seconds or minutes or hours, she pulled back, her eyes flickering up to his face, please to see a wide grin and pure joy in his eyes.

“Do you still want to go home? Because I would love to show off my relatively new-found breakfast making skills for my girlfriend in the morning.”

She felt her cheeks grow warm as she was able to genuinely smile for the first time since her conversation with Elijah. “I’d like that,” she said, looping her arms around his waist and relishing the feeling of him pulling her into a hug. “I’d like that a lot.”

“Good,” said Bryce. “Me too.”

Permatag: @choicesficwriterscreations @walkerswhiskeygirl  @octobereighth @kimmiedoo5  @mom2000aggie

Open Heart: @mskaneko @omgjasminesimone @debramcg1106

Bryce x MC: @weaving-in-words  @anotherbeingsworld  @chaotichuman0090 @fortunatelywaywardsandwich   @dreaming-of-movies  @choicesarehard  @srta-give-me-my-jax-rl  @sunnyxdazed​

[ohmyjinsus]

the right reasons

yang hongseok x gender neutral! reader

recent college grads nonsense idk || 5.9k

** there is some drinking in this (they are of age, after all), but no swearing uwu**

finally, a fic not inspired by a taylor swift song, shocking, I know (I listened to cruel summer on a loop while I was writing this though, I think y’all will see why)

summary: when your best friend, hongseok, decides to audition for bachelor in paradise after graduation, you don’t want to believe it ….. mainly because you’re in love with him, even if you haven’t realized it yet

“Do you think I should apply?”

You look up. The two of you are watching The Bachelor in his apartment. Hongseok’s the only other person you know who’s into it. Once you found out, you immediately agreed to watch it together. Ordering takeout and making fun of the contestants has been your tradition ever since you met 4 years ago.

“I’m confused,” you say. You were checking your phone during the commercials.

“Bachelor in Paradise,” Hongseok replies, gesturing to the TV. “They’re casting for next season, there was an ad.”

“That came out of nowhere.” He doesn’t look phased.

“We’ve graduated now,” he says. “I don’t know what else to do with my life.”

“You have a point,” you reply. It’s been one month since all of you finished university. Lots of your other friends had jobs lined up beforehand, but you and Hongseok still have no idea what you’re doing.

“Right?” He grins. “I could go on, I’d have something to do, then I’d come back and I’d have a bunch of new Instagram followers and I could do sponsorships or something.”

“You realize that sounds crazy, right?” You grab a french fry from the box on the coffee table.

“It’s not!” You roll your eyes. “Think about it y/n, I’m smart, funny, attractive, nice-”

“Wrong, wrong, wrong, and wrong, but okay.” He laughs.

“I’m exactly what they’re looking for on these shows.”

“But you want to go on for the wrong reasons.”

“Shhhh,” he tells you. “Nobody needs to know that.”

“What’s your story then?” You ask.

“I grew up seeing my parents being so in love,” you make a gagging noise, but he keeps going. “And now, I want that kind of love for myself. The apps are just no good, and I need to find a special someone to spend the rest of my life with.”

“Jesus christ,” you mutter. “You didn’t mention anything about your personal journey to find love.”

“Oh right,” he says. “Now that I’m finished university, my main focus is to settle down, get married, have kids, and I’m on my personal journey to find all of that.”

“Amazing,” you fake clap for him. “You’re a shoo-in.”

“There’s no harm in applying, right?” He shrugs. “I doubt it’ll lead anywhere, but it could be fun.”

“I guess so,” you admit. “Your chances are slim, but you never know.”

“What do you mean?” He says, offended. “Have you seen me in a swimsuit?”

“Shut up.” You throw your napkin at him, but you’re laughing.

Hongseok offers to grab you another drink, so you tell him yes. He doesn’t mention anything else about the show for the rest of the night. By the time you’ve gone home, it’s completely slipped your mind.

===

When Hongseok invites you over 2 weeks later, you assume he just wants to hang out and have dinner. You’re shocked when he sits you down on the couch and says he has news to share.

“You’re dating someone.” He shakes his head. “Someone died.”

“No,” he tells you, laughing. “I love how those are your first two guesses though.”

“What is it?”

“I got a call yesterday from the Bachelor in Paradise producers...”

“You’re joking.” You didn’t expect that to go anywhere. You just assumed Hongseok would send in his audition tape and never hear back. The possibility of him actually being on the show makes you feel uneasy. “Really?”

“Yes, y/n, really.” He sits down on the armchair, facing you. “They want to meet me in person next week.”

“Oh my god,” you say. “Congratulations.”

“You don’t sound that happy,” he smirks. “Are you jealous?” You shake your head right away.

“I’m just surprised.”

“You didn’t think they’d want me?” He asks quietly.

“No, of course not,” you reassure him. “You’re kind, and funny, and attractive, why wouldn’t they want you?”

“Exactly,” he grins at you.

“So are you gonna go?” He nods.

“Why not? The worst they could do is say no.”

“That’s so exciting,” you tell him. He seems very happy about it, and the last thing you want to do is bring him down. As his best friend, you should definitely be supportive.

“Will you come with me?”

“What?” You glance at him.

“Downtown, for my interview,” he clarifies. “I have to take the train down and meet them there, I don’t really want to go alone.”

“Are you nervous?”

“A little bit,” he admits. “I’d just feel better if I had someone with me.”

“What about Changgu?” Hongseok shakes his head. “Shinwon?”

“You’re my first choice.” That catches you off guard. “We can make a day of it,” he suggests. “We can go to that bakery you wanted to try on Queen, and we can go shopping, get dinner, it’ll be fun.”

“Sure,” you say. Going on adventures with Hongseok is always a good time. “How long will your interview be?”

“They didn’t say,” he replies. “I just know it’s at 10 on Wednesday.”

“Cool,” you pull out your phone so you can put it in your calendar. “So if it goes horribly, I can cheer you up, and if it goes well, we can celebrate.”

“Sounds good.” He smiles at you. “Thanks y/n.”

You nod but there’s a small part of you that’s anxious. You decide to ignore your feelings for the time being. Your day with Hongseok is going to be great, you should focus on that and enjoy your time together.

===

Hongseok meets you outside the train station the morning of his interview. The first thing you notice is how nicely he’s dressed. As he gets closer to you, you notice he smells really great too.

“I should’ve dressed up some more,” you mutter, glancing down at your own outfit. You’re dressed like you’re going to class, while Hongseok’s dressed for a first date.

“You look fine, don’t worry.” He heads towards the entrance, so you follow close behind.

You were right to have Hongseok come early, as the train is at the platform the second you get there. He follows you to the back of the car, and sits down facing you.

He hasn’t seen you in person since he asked you to join him on this trip. Apparently he went on a shopping trip with Changgu yesterday. That’s when he got his current outfit.

“No wonder this cardigan is so nice, you couldn’t have picked out anything like that yourself.” Hongseok rolls his eyes at you, but he’s smiling.

The train leaves soon after. Hongseok watches out the window like a little kid. He keeps his eyes on the station until it’s all the way out of sight. And you keep your eyes on him until he catches you looking.

“Are you nervous?” You ask him. He shakes his head, but you notice his leg bouncing up and down.

“It’s just like a first date, right?”

“Exactly,” you reassure him. “And you’re great at those.”

“Are you sure?” He asks. “You’ve never been on one with me.” You don’t know how to respond to that. You almost want to tell him to take you on one. But you’re just friends, you remind yourself, you can’t do that.

“You’ve dated more people than I have,” you point out. “You’ll be fine.”

“I hope you’re right.”

The two of you sit in silence for a little while. Hongseok goes on his phone, so you focus on yours. You brought your AirPods so you can listen to music or watch a show while Hongseok’s busy with the producers.

“y/n-” You look up. Hongseok looks like he’s about to ask you something, but he hesitates.

“What’s up?” He shakes his head.

“What’s the plan for the rest of the day?” He asks you. You know that’s not what he was planning on saying, but you go with it.

“While you’re busy, I’ll get us breakfast,” you tell him. “There’s a café across the street, let me show you.” You sit down next to him so you can show him your phone. When he leans over to get a look at the screen, you’re suddenly aware of how close he is. You push it out of your mind.

By the time you’ve planned out your day, you’ve arrived at the train station. The two of you grab all your things and leave the train. Once you’re out of the station, the interview location isn’t too far away. There’s still 20 minutes before Hongseok’s meant to be there. He’s adamant about getting there early though. Although he won’t outright say it, you can tell he’s nervous. No wonder he brought you instead of one of his other friends; they wouldn’t let him live this down.

Once you get there, there’s a line of all the other candidates running through the main hallway. You and Hongseok join the end of the line.

“You don’t have to stay,” he tells you. You shake your head.

“It’s fine,” you say. There’s a check-in desk a few metres ahead of you. “I’ll stay until you get past there.”

“Okay,” he replies. “Thanks.” You bump your shoulder against his.

He’s brought his application package with him, so you ask to look it over while the two of you wait. There’s tons of pictures of him, some of them shirtless, which you quickly flip through. Then there’s copies of all of Hongseok’s identification. At the very back, there’s the printed copy of his application. You move that to the front, flipping through to make sure he didn’t leave anything blank.

He never asked you to look over his online application before he handed it in, so you’re interested to see what he had to say. There are the stereotypical questions about his career, education, background, and all of that. But there are also some more personal questions further down.

Why do you want to be on this show? Are you prepared to get engaged at the end of the season?

Hongseok’s answer is cookie cutter perfect. He knows he’s the prime candidate for this kind of show. Kind, good-looking, easy to fall for. He’s played to all his strengths in his application. You know he’s lying about being prepared to propose at the end of the show, but everyone does that. His answer comes off as genuine though.

The line moves up a little bit while you flip to the next page. It’s all about his dating history. You’re shocked at how invasive these questions are. Then again, if it’s for reality TV, it has to be.

The first section asks for a detailed dating history from the past 5 years. You’re familiar with all of that. He’s never told you about any ex-girlfriends, or anyone he’s currently interested in. He’s a casual dater, and you’ve never seen him tied down for too long. The maximum amount of dates he’s been on with one person is 3. You haven’t seen anyone get past that point. He seems to get bored easily. You’re honestly surprised he’s been friends with you for this long.

Despite all of his casual dating history, he’s made it clear he’s ready to settle down now. You thought he was just making this up to get on the show, but the more you read, the less you’re sure. Maybe he’s just persuasive.

The line moves a little bit more. Now there are just 3 other people ahead of you. Hongseok’s on his phone again. You figure you have enough time to skim the rest of his answers.

Have you ever been in love? is the next question. You know the answer is no, so you’re surprised when there’s a couple paragraphs written underneath it.

I have, but I was never brave enough to act on it. You try to read the entire section as quickly as you possibly can, but your brain doesn’t work that well. You grab some words here and there, years, class, close friends but not enough to fully comprehend.

“C’mon y/n,” Hongseok says to you. “We’re next.” He holds his hand out for the folder.

You glance down at the page you’re on. Although you want to read the rest, you also realize you’ve stumbled upon something incredibly personal. Granted, Hongseok may wind up sharing this on national television, but for now, it’s none of your business.

“Here,” you close it and hand it to him.

“Thanks.”

Hongseok gets checked in soon after that. It takes about 5 minutes for them to verify his identity and double check his application. Finally, they direct him to a room down the hall where he’ll meet some of the producers. They tell you you can’t go beyond this point.

“Good luck,” you say to Hongseok, not sure what else to say. He smiles.

“Thanks y/n.”

Some of his hair is falling in his face, so you reach out to quickly brush it out of the way. When you pull away, he’s looking at you with an expression you’ve never seen before. It feels surprisingly intimate.

“Text me when you’re done,” you tell him, pulling yourself out of your thoughts. “You’ll be great.”

He nods, and the two of you go your separate ways. You know you’ll see him again in an hour, but it still feels weird to say bye to him like this. You hope nothing changes if he does wind up on this stupid show.

You walk out the doors onto the sidewalk again, thankful for the fresh air. You pull your AirPods out of your bag, so you can listen to some music. As you walk along the street, you can’t help but think of Hongseok and what he might be saying to the producers in there.

You tell yourself you’re curious just because you’re best friends. But you can’t get that look on his face out of your mind. You have no idea what it means. You’re just really close friends, right?

You turn the music up, hoping to distract yourself. It works until you pass a small playground. You can’t help but think of Hongseok yet again.

The two of you met during your university’s orientation week, but it wasn’t until halfway during the semester that you actually spoke to him. You knew you were taking some classes together, but you never really thought about it until then.

Speaking in class was something that always terrified you, but one of your professors was adamant that everyone do it in order to get full marks. It took a while for you to work up the courage to raise your hand that day in October. When you were called on, you hesitated for a second, before sharing your answer. You don’t even remember the question anymore, you just remember your professor outright laughing at you. You’d been so sure you were right, but your professor made it very clear that you were not. Right away, you threw all your things into your backpack and ran out of the lecture hall. Your heart was beating so fast and you had no idea where to go. You wound up outside, walking as far as your legs could possibly take you, until you found a park off campus. As soon as you sat down on the swings, you couldn’t help but cry.

It was one thing to get an answer wrong, but to have your professor react like that was humiliating. You were never going back to that class ever again. You’d drop the course, or only show up on test days, whatever it took to never see that godforsaken man ever again. You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t even notice when someone sat down on the swing next to you.

After that day, you and Hongseok quickly became friends. You still can’t believe he was kind enough to follow you out of class like that, but he always tells you it was nothing. As you think back to it now, you can’t help but feel a rush of affection for him. Maybe he is more than a friend to you.

You head to the playground and sit on the swings alone, thinking back to some of your other memories with Hongseok. He’s always been there for you to lean on, and you’ve always done the same for him, like today. You remember feeling this way when he’d specifically asked you to come with him. At this point, you’re about 90% sure you have feelings for him. You don’t know how you didn’t clue in earlier.

You stay there until your phone buzzes. Hongseok’s done sooner than you expected. He says he’ll meet you at the café where you wanted to get breakfast. You respond, saying you’ll see him there soon.

You didn’t walk that far, so it only takes about 5 minutes of speed walking to get back there. When you spot him waiting outside on his phone, you can’t help but smile.

The two of you head inside, while you tell him what you got up to. You say you found a park bench and wound up doing some work there. He rolls his eyes and tells you you should’ve found something more entertaining to do.

After you’ve got your food and sat down, you ask him about the interview.

“It was okay,” he says, taking a sip of his coffee. “I think they liked me.”

“What do you mean think?”

“It seems like they believed me when I told them how passionate I am about my journey for love.” You smirk at that.

“Are you sure you weren’t speaking from the heart?”

“Of course I was y/n,” he says, jokingly. “How dare you insinuate I’m applying for the wrong reasons.”

You’re still unsure if he’s joking or not. After your earlier revelation, you’re praying he is.

He tells you some more about the interview and the producers. Apparently they asked even more invasive questions about his dating history, like his body count. That makes you cringe.

“If they offer you a spot,” you ask, “which I’m not saying they will, but if they do, would you take it?” You expect him to say yes right away, but he ponders it for a second.

“I don’t know,” he replies. “What do you think I should do?”

You want to tell him to say no, and to stay at home. Preferably so you can spend more time with him, and then maybe he’ll realize he’s into you as well. But you can’t say that, of course.

“I think it could benefit you,” you tell him, honestly. “But it’ll also change your life in multiple different ways, and that’s something you’d really have to think about.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” you hesitate, taking a sip of your drink. “Assuming you wound up in a relationship by the end of the season, the odds of it working out aren’t that high,” he laughs at that, but doesn’t disagree. “Anyone you date after that will always see you as that guy who was on Bachelor in Paradise. You’ll probably have a wider range of people to choose from, but a lot of them will be fake too, so, it’s up to you.” You shrug.

“All valid points,” he replies.

“I don’t know if you’re ever planning on settling down,” you admit. “But if you do, it’ll affect that and whoever you wind up with.”

“I would like to settle down someday,” he says quietly. You glance across the booth at him. “What?”

“I’ve never really thought about you in a long term relationship. It doesn’t seem like your type of thing.”

“It could be,” he tells you, “with the right person.”

You just nod, afraid you might say something stupid if you open your mouth.

Once you’re finished eating, the two of you head out to the closest subway station. You have a list of stores you want to visit, and Hongseok happily follows along. He helps you pick out some gifts for your friend’s upcoming birthday and some clothes. He winds up buying some things for himself as well. You joke that he’ll have to buy an entirely new wardrobe if he winds up on national television. He promises to take you swimsuit shopping with him if that happens. That makes you roll your eyes, but you’re blushing the whole time.

You stop for lunch at a random fast food chain, then head to that bakery you told him about the week before. The two of you get some extra goodies for your roommates as well.

Finally, it’s almost 7 o’clock and you decide to go to a decent sit down restaurant for dinner. Earlier you told Hongseok you were in the mood to drink tonight, so he promised to take care of you. He lets you pick where to go, so you choose a restaurant with a rooftop bar. You know he likes to take nice photos for his Instagram feed.

The food is good, and the drinks are even better. You only have a few, but you can feel them getting to you. Hongseok’s extremely entertained by you. Normally you’re not this talkative, but you’re asking more questions and telling him more random things than usual.

You wind up telling him the truth about how you wound up at the park this morning. He’s surprised you lied, but you refuse to tell him why. Instead he just smiles and tells you it’s cute you thought of him. You wind up blushing profusely, hoping he doesn’t notice. The two of you reminisce over some other memories from early on in your friendship. You’re surprised he remembers them as well as you do. Maybe that means something.

When you’re finished eating, you stay a little longer. Hongseok has 2 drinks as well, but he can handle his liquor much better than you. It seems to have no effect on him at all. By the time you leave, it’s almost 9:30.

The second you step out of the restaurant, you’re met with a crowd of people. As you awkwardly navigate yourself around them, you’re separated from Hongseok. Once you’re free, you glance around, afraid you might have to call him. Thankfully, he’s waving at you from a couple metres ahead. You run over to him and immediately interlock your arms.

“C’mon,” he says, pulling you in the direction of the train station. You could have taken the subway back, but Hongseok suggested you walk instead, as it’s not too far. It’s dark out now, but it looks nice with all the street lamps lit up.

“I forgot to ask something about Bachelor in Paradise,” you say as the two of you head down the sidewalk. “Did they mention when they’ll get back to you?”

“In two weeks or so.”

“Will they let you know if you get rejected?” Hongseok smirks at that.

“Do you want me to get rejected?” You know he’s joking, but you can’t bring yourself to smile.

“Yes.” You mumble, mostly to yourself. Hongseok must not hear you.

“I was scared earlier,” he says. “But it might be fun. It’s a free vacation, technically.”

“Yeah, for the cost of your sanity.” That makes him laugh too. You rest your head against his arm.

“Do you think I could actually find someone worthwhile on there?” He asks quietly. “I know the premise is to date multiple people, but maybe I could find something real.”

“Hongseok-” You almost want to punch him. You wish you could yell at him, here on the sidewalk, and tell him off for not realizing there’s been something real right in front of him for the past 4 years, but you can’t bring yourself to do it. “Please.”

“I know, it sounds ridiculous, but you never know.” You two turn the corner and wind up right in front of the train station’s main entrance. “Crazier things have happened.”

You don’t know if it’s because you’re tired, or slightly drunk, or what, but you pull your arm out of his and turn to face him.

“Hongseok-” He glances into your eyes. This time, he notices something serious is happening.

“y/n, what is it?”

“Please don’t go,” you say quietly. He takes a step closer so he can hear you better. “Just… don’t do it.”

“I mean, I haven’t made up my mind yet,” he says, awkwardly. “But I thought you wanted me to do what’s best for me.” You shake your head.

“I was wrong,” you tell him. “I can’t do it.”

“You can’t do what?” You freeze. You wish you hadn’t used that choice of words, but at this point, there’s no turning back now.

“I can’t stay here and watch you on TV, dating other people, kissing other people, being with other people.” You’re not dumb, you know what the fantasy suites on that show are for, and imagining Hongseok in one of them with somebody else makes you simultaneously want to cry and throw up.

“I don’t understand.” You groan. You were hoping that would’ve been enough to get your point across, but of course, your best friend isn’t that smart.

“I’m going to be so jealous.” You hate yourself for even saying it, but it’s true. Hongseok reaches out, taking your hands in his. “My heart can’t handle it.”

“y/n,” he says. “You’ll always be my best friend, regardless of what happens-”

You pull your hands away from his. You don’t understand how he’s not getting it at this point. Granted, you’re not thinking clearly because of the alcohol, but he should be able to read between the lines.

“That’s not what I meant,” you tell him. “I don’t just want to be your best friend.”

“What?” It seems like it’s starting to click now. But just to be sure, you decide to outright say it.

“I’m in love with you.” It comes out louder than you intended, but the second you say it, you know it’s true. Even though the realization only, truly, hit you today, you’ve never been more sure of anything in your life. Your heart is beating a million miles a minute, but it doesn’t matter. “Hongseok, I love you.”

“You do?” He asks quietly. You nod, too scared to say anything else. “I don’t know what to say.”

You wait, not sure what to say either. Both of you just stand there, awkwardly staring at each other for a few seconds. Panic starts to set in at that point, maybe you shouldn’t have said anything.

“y/n-” You can tell from the tone of his voice that he’s going to turn you down. You really shouldn’t have said anything at all.

“It’s okay.” You cut him off right away. You don’t want to hear him outright rejecting you, not now. “It’s okay.”

“y/n, I-” You reach over and press a finger to his lips. Maybe he’ll just brush it off as you being drunk, that’s what you’re hoping for anyway. You wish you could take it back, but that would be the next best thing.

“Really,” you force a smile. “It’s okay. I’m sorry.” You glance at the time on your phone, realizing your train will be there any second. You don’t want to think about the awkward train ride home.

“Here,” you tell him, gesturing towards the entrance to the train station. “You can take this one and I’ll wait for the next one, it’s okay.” Maybe if you say it enough times, it’ll be true.

“y/n, I can’t leave you waiting here for an hour on your own.”

“Fine, I’ll take a cab,” you tell him. “Just go, before I make a fool of myself again.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he walks through the doors, so you awkwardly follow him. “Nothing’s changed.”

That hurts more than an actual rejection. You could tell he doesn’t have feelings for you too, but for him to dismiss your feelings like this stings. You can’t stand sitting next to him in dead silence on a 30 minute train ride. You can feel the tears starting to form in your eyes, but you try to ignore them.

Once you’re both on the platform, the train is already there, waiting.

“I’m going to go down there,” you say to him, pointing to the far end of the train. “Don’t follow me.” You hope he can’t tell your voice is about to break.

“Okay,” he replies, right away. That hurts too. You expect him to say something else, but he jumps into the first car.

You wait until he disappears from your sight before you turn and walk all the way to the other end of the train. Once you’re inside, and you’ve found a seat by the window, you take out your phone. You were hoping there would be some kind of text from Hongseok, but there’s one from your roommate instead.

Hongseok called me and said the two of you are out right now and he was going to take you home but something happened ???

You roll your eyes. You really don’t want to get into this right now. But you text your roommate back and say yes, that’s all true.

he asked me to pick you up from the train station, he said you’re arriving at 11 or so, I’ll meet you there

You immediately respond saying that isn’t necessary.

y/n, he said you’ve been drinking…. he’s worried about you getting home by yourself

The second you read that, the tears start to fall. You hate him so much. How could he have no reaction to your confession, but still worry about you like this? It doesn’t make any sense.

You respond and tell your roommate you’ll be there soon.

As the train pulls out of the station, you rest your head on the window and close your eyes. This train ride is so much different than the one this morning. You honestly wish you hadn’t said anything at all. Now you’ve probably lost your best friend forever.

===

Three days go by without hearing anything from Hongseok. At this point, you don’t know what there is to say. You spent a long time wondering if you should be the first to reach out, but you’ve said all you need to. If you’ve ruined your friendship by telling him your feelings, then that’s on you.

You really don’t want to make things any harder for him. You knew he was trying to get on the show, so you really shouldn’t have said anything to begin with. You hope he still makes the right choice for him, regardless of you confessing.

On Saturday afternoon, the doorbell rings. You expect it to be one of your roommates, as they tend to forget their keys often. When you open the door and see Hongseok, you’re stunned.

“Hi y/n,” he says, smiling. Seeing his face makes you want to smile too, but you can’t, considering all you’ve been thinking about these past few days.

“Hi,” you reply. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t say sorry,” he laughs. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“Why are you here?”

“I came to say sorry.” You frown. “I was thrown off guard so my reaction may have come off the wrong way, and I’m sorry for that.”

“What do you mean the wrong way?” Now Hongseok looks nervous.

“How did you feel?” He asks you. “When you told me you’d take a different train, why did you say that?”

“You were rejecting me,” you say. “I didn’t want to sit in a train with you for 30 minutes trying not to cry.”

“You cried?” Hongseok looks like he’s about to cry himself, just hearing that. “I’m so sorry y/n.”

“It’s fine,” you tell him, shaking your head.

“I withdrew my application.”

“You did what?” You’re shocked.

“I called the producers and told them I wasn’t interested anymore.”

“I hope this isn’t because of me,” you say.

“Of course it’s because of you.”

Hongseok’s looking at you that way again, the same way he did downtown, right before his interview. Maybe he wasn’t rejecting you after all. You suddenly feel really nervous.

“I did some thinking,” he explains. “I did want to be on the show, but it was obviously for all the wrong reasons.” You smile at that.

“So you changed your mind?” He nods.

“I want to stay here, and be with you.” That makes your heart rate jump.

“For the right reasons?” You ask, jokingly.

“Yeah, I’m sorry I didn’t realize it sooner,” he replies. “y/n, I love you too.”

You practically throw yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his neck. His arms are tight around your waist as he hugs you back.

“What if I had changed my mind?” You ask, pulling away a little bit. His arms are still around you.

“I knew you wouldn’t,” he rolls his eyes. “And I have a surprise for you, so that would’ve won you back.”

“A surprise?” Hongseok smiles, letting go of you. There’s a small paper bag sitting outside your front door, to the side, that you hadn’t noticed before. He grabs it, and pulls out your favourite cold drink.

“Here you are.” You say thanks and take a sip. “I have food as well, I was thinking we could go to the park.”

“The swings?”

“The way your eyes just lit up is the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen.” You roll your eyes at that. “But yes, the swings would be great.”

“Let me grab my things,” you tell him, stepping back into your apartment to get your phone and keys.

“This is going to be such a fun first date,” Hongseok says, as you lock the door.

“Date?” Technically, you knew that’s what this is, but it’s still shocking to hear him say it out loud.

“Yes… If that’s okay.”

“You didn’t bring me a date card though.” Hongseok laughs at that.

“This isn’t Bachelor in Paradise!”

“Well, no, but a card still would have been nice,” you say jokingly. The two of you walk down the hall to the elevator.

“Next time.” You nod in agreement. “Can I offer you a kiss instead?”

“I’m sorry what-” Before you can say anything else, Hongseok takes your hand and plants a kiss on the back of it. “Oh.”

“What did you think I meant, y/n?” He asks, a smirk on his face.

“Don’t worry about it.” The two of you step into the elevator and he pushes the button for the bottom floor.

“As your boyfriend, it’s my duty to worry about you.”

“Boyfriend?” You mean to tease him, but you’re more soft than anything. The word sounds so nice to say.

“Well yeah,” Hongseok says. “You love me, I love you, it only makes sense.”

“You should say that more often,” you tell him, as the elevator stops. He follows you as you step out.

“What?” He asks. “That I love you?” You can’t help but blush.

“Yeah,” you reply, absolutely smitten.

As Hongseok opens the door, and you step out into the warm air, he wraps an arm around your shoulders.

“I won’t let you forget it.”

[lassieposting]

💘💘💘💘 + ghasdug

send me 💘 + A SHIP and i’ll tell you—

where they first met and how

So Skug says they stowed away on the same ship, but this is...not exactly true.

He stowed away on that ship, because he was running away from home and he was a snobby little lordling who'd never had to fend for himself a day in his life, so the furthest ahead he'd actually thought to plan was "they won't want to turn around and drop me off once they're underway".

Ghastly was not stowed away at any point during that trip. Ghastly was signed on for the journey as a deckhand, because Ghastly's mother told him he needed to, and it had to be that particular ship. Ghastly gets seasick, and did not want to go to sea in the slightest. But Ghastly's mother has visions and so Ghastly does as he is told. Apparently there was something important waiting for him on that ship.

Anyway Skug pops out once he thinks they're far enough away from shore that they'll leave him be rather than take him back to port, and he is incredibly mistaken. The captain is in favour of turning him around right there and then, because he's clearly some rich lord's brat, and whoever his father is will probably pay handsomely for his safe return. Ghastly manages to talk the ship's crew into letting him stay on, provided he pulls his weight like the rest of them.

Needless to say, even before they're attacked by pirates, that voyage is a rude awakening for poor Skug, and good lord does Ghastly hear all about it. He has blisters. His feet hurt. This shirt was expensive and now it's all sweaty. His hair is in his eyes all the time. He's tired. The guy in the next bunk snores. Some of these people look like they have lice. He didn't realise he'd be doing manual labour, this is servant stuff, how dare they.

Ghastly does. Not realise at that point what he has let himself in for.

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved

Poor Ghastly gets to pine for years. Baby Skug isn't a great boyfriend. He's less invested - he loves Ghastly, but they have two totally different outlooks.

Ghastly is ugly. He's always been ugly. He's got a face he believes only his mother could love. He's never believed he'd find someone who saw past that or loved him regardless. So as soon as he gets Skug into bed, he's over the moon and ready to commit. He's like 17, and would absolutely settle down there and then given half a chance.

Skug, on the other hand, was a weird-looking child who only recently grew into an attractive adolescent and he is loving it. For the first time in his life, girls are noticing him. He doesn't want to settle down, he wants to play the field and sow some wild oats and have fun. So there are periods of exclusivity with Ghastly, interspersed with periods where Skug basically drops him to chase after the latest pretty bit of skirt.

who fell for who first ( if applicable )

Ghastly's smitten by the time they make it back to Ireland - Skug is a bit soft and allergic to hard work and a pain in the arse, but he's flashy and charismatic and funny and pays attention to him without gawking at his face (past the initial "good god, what happened to you?") - but Skug is well and truly settled into living with Ghastly's family by the time he actually gives Ghas the come-on.

where their first date was and what it was like

They went to the local tavern and got drunk, and then rode home in the pouring rain once it kicked them out at closing time.

When they got home, Ghastly's parents had long since gone to bed, but that wasn't necessarily unusual - once Skug, who has a considerable allowance, is old enough to start drinking, Saoirse institutes a rule that if they're not home by the time she and her husband turn in for the night, she'll leave blankets in the barn and they can sleep there instead. She's not having them barging in, wasted, at all hours of the day and night, waking her up after a hard day's work.

So they put the horses away and give them a quick rub down, and Ghastly is trying to look anywhere but Skug because Skug's shirt has gone kind of see-through and poor Ghastly is an awkward, horny teenage boy, but he keeps shooting him these furtive glances over the horse's back and Skug notices because Skug notices everything and lowkey teases him about it. "Want me to sit for a portrait? It'll last longer," sort of teasing, and Ghastly tries to laugh along but he's also vibrant red because he's been caught staring, so obviously Skug realises something's up

And he's precisely as tactful about it as he ever is about anything, and jokes, "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you wanted me," and Ghastly's ears burn and he doesn't deny it quick enough and now Skug's eyebrows are inching towards his hairline and Ghastly panics because like, he's ugly, Skug is going to be disgusted or laugh at him and he can't cope with either, so he just? Freezes?

But like. Skug was a weird-looking, unfortunate child who very recently grew into an attractive adolescent, so he fucking thrives on attention. So his response to this awkward not-quite-a-confession is actually a moment of silence while he mulls this new information over (this feels like an eternity to poor Ghastly) followed by an early attempt at using The Hot Voice and, "If you want me, have me."

So, they end up having sex in the hayloft on the blankets Ghastly's mom left out for them. Ghastly has never even been kissed and doesn't admit that he has no idea what he's doing until he realises Skug is expecting him to take the lead. He also blurts that he loves Skug when he nuts, so like. It's your typical painfully embarrassing virginity loss.

It can't be all bad though, because Skug's up for doing it again.

who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? )

So in my endgame-ghasdug AU, they get back together post-TDOTL. Ghastly survives being stabbed, but the blade nicked his spinal cord, so he's in a wheelchair for quite a while, and then has to do A Lot of physical therapy to relearn how to walk. Skug shows up at the hospital/facility where he's recovering every day unless there's an emergency, because Ghastly is very depressed and struggling with survivor's guilt over Anton and doesn't see the point in doing his physio because it hurts and he's exhausted and he shouldn't be alive anyway. And Skug annoys him into doing it, mostly by heckling him from the other side of the room, because he's not great at the whole emotional support thing. Ghastly will mutter, "Christ, I want to hit you," and Skug will tell him, "Well, if you come over here to do it I won't even duck." And if Ghastly gets his ass up and uses the walking frame support thing to cross the room, well, then Skug will take a punch like a man and be happy about it because Ghastly walked.

They also talk a lot during this period. Ghastly feels like shit, and he reminisces a lot about the good old days and how he never saw Ravel's betrayal coming and memories he has of Anton, and sometimes that veers into memories they share from when they were young men. And Skug, at this point, is old enough and has been through enough to admit that he wasn't great to Ghastly when they were boys. He was flighty and selfish and high-maintenance, and he would've hated to be treated the way he treated Ghastly. And he tells him that, at one point - that he's sorry, and if he could go back and do it differently, he would, assuming Ghastly was daft enough to be willing to put up with him a second time.

And Ghastly laughs and tells him, "I'd still have you now, you stupid bastard."

who proposes first

Ghastly. They're 19/20. Skug thinks he's joking.

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away

Neither - they don't announce it, but it's not exactly a secret either. Ghastly's parents notice pretty much straight away, but other than a few parental pointers on what is and isn't appropriate, it's not really a topic of conversation.

where the proposal happens and how ( kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park? )

Skug's sister Confelicity accepts the first proposal she gets at the age of 16, because she's desperate to get out of their parents' house and away from their toxic relationship and controlling behaviour. Their father disapproves and refuses to attend the wedding (and, of course, their mother is not allowed her own opinion), and Carver is out of the country, so Skug stands in to a) pay and b) give away the bride. He takes Ghastly for moral support, because he doesn't like most of his relatives and also doesn't like the groom (Thurid Guild - their relationship doesn't improve when Confelicity divorces him a few years later to marry a baronet). While they're watching the couple say their vows, Ghastly murmurs, "We should get married."

Skug is right in the middle of his hoe phase and does not realise Ghastly's serious.

who’s more dominant

Generally, Skug. He is one hell of a force of personality and Ghastly does get steamrollered quite a bit, although he does eventually learn how to say no. Skug always gets things his way, always does whatever he likes and be damned to the consequences, and Ghastly is always there with a handful of the back of his shirt, pulling his ass out of whatever fire he started.

In bed, though, it's Ghastly.

how into pda they are

As teenagers, Ghastly's mother has to reprimand them occasionally for being too all over each other, but teenagers be rabidly horny. As grown men, they're just sort of casually affectionate. Comfortable with each other. When they're relaxing in camp after a day of travelling, Skug will lean against Ghastly to read a book or put his head on Ghastly's leg while they chat. They can have a silent conversation just by reading each other's faces. They'll nudge each other when something reminds them of an in-joke. They have that easy intimacy that comes with having known each other forever.

where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable )

As boys, Ghastly has a particular flowery meadow he likes to take Skug to for picnics, because he's a romantic. Skug at that age is considerably less so, and more interested in whether they can screw there without getting caught.

In the modern day, they go to see old movies. Ghastly was very into the early films of the late 1910s and the 1920s, after the war finished. He associates them with a time where he finally got to just set up his shop and live the life he always wanted to live. Skug hasn't seen most of Ghastly's favourites, because he spent that period of history fighting the truce and then spiralling into a black hole of trauma and misery, but he got very into the noir detective era to the point that he's still clinging to the aesthetic like 80 years later, so they'll alternate who picks the movies and catch each other up on their favourites.

who’s more protective

They've both spent their fair share of time fretting in the chair beside a hospital bed. After Ravel's betrayal, though, it's Skug. Ghastly retires as soon as he's considered fit to make the decision, and decides he wants to go back to Dublin to reopen his shop and just sort of try and forget Roarhaven exists. And Skug is absolutely adamant that he gets to do it. There's a lot of interest in Ghastly for a while - groundbreaking healing magic was used to fix what should've been a permanent injury, people want to know if he suspected Ravel, they want his advice on how to rebuild after Devastation Day. He's more approachable than China, and a lot more popular. But he can't cope with it all, and anyone who tries to hassle him in Dublin will have Skug to deal with.

how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ )

The first night Skug stays at Ghastly's family home. Ghastly is an only child, and his family isn't wealthy - their house doesn't have a guest room. It's sleep with Ghastly or sleep on the floor, and Little Lord Priss isn't going to be sleeping on the floor.

Honestly, he's relieved there isn't a spare room for him. He's never really slept alone before. Like most children of very wealthy families back then, he grew up in a nursery with his four oldest brothers and sisters, and when he was too old to live with The Children, he shared a room, first with Carver and then with Francis. The thought of being on his own in a strange house is pretty intimidating.

He moves to his own bed as soon as they get him one, but he stays in Ghastly's room, and he's perfectly happy with that.

(Ghastly is less happy. He's very much crushing on Skug and he's terrified he'll say something incriminating in his sleep.)

who steals whose clothes and how often

Skug gets to steal Ghastly's clothes for a year or two after he moves in with Ghastly's family. After that, they're built too differently. Ghastly is built like a brick shithouse of muscle. Skug is lean and toned and tall. When they're younger, he can more or less wear Ghastly's clothes as a nightshirt, but after Skug's final growth spurt, Ghastly's clothes don't sit right on him at all, and he's gotten too vain and fashion-conscious by that point to just wear them anyway.

what their usual coffee / tea orders are

Ghastly is fussy about his tea. Plenty of milk, two and a half sugars, leave the teabag in.

Skug just inhales it black, which Ghastly thinks is an abomination.

if they ever have any children together

Ghastly thanks his lucky stars every day that they have a 0% chance of accidentally spawning a skuglet. One of him is plenty.

He's very involved with Skugbab when he comes along, though. He's godfather and a very present uncle.

if they have any special pet names for each other

Skug doesn't do nicknames, and would rather not be given them, either. Ghastly gets away with "Skul", primarily because he's the only one who's known Skug since he was all of 16, but also because "Skulduggery" is a mouthful when all your blood is rushing to your downstairs brain and it's his own damn fault that he didn't think of that before he picked it.

if they ever split up and / or get back together

So many times. They're on and off again more frequently than Saracen's clothes. Every time Skug spots someone new, he ends it with Ghastly to pursue them, and then comes back when he loses interest or it doesn't work out.

what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? )

Ghastly's family home is an old farmhouse on the outskirts of Dublin. It's simple, but cosy, and Ghastly's dad is incredibly houseproud, so it's very well-looked-after. Skug prefers it by miles to his own palacial, but cold and unwelcoming, family home, and he tries to replicate the vibe later on with Wifey. It's pretty small compared to what he's used to, so it sort of feels like they're all living on top of each other, and he has to get used to not having any servants and drawing his own water to heat his own bath etc, but he's loved there, and that makes all the difference.

what their names are in each other’s phones

They're both old-ass men about some things, and this is one of them. So no emojis or anything - they're "Ghastly Bespoke" and "Skul". How romantic.

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first

Ghastly wakes up first: he's used to rising early to get started on his chores. Skug is absolutely not a morning person at this point in his life and Ghastly frequently has to turf his ass out of bed by pulling his quilt off/dumping water on him/yelling in his ear.

Reversed with modern day ghasdug: Ghastly still wakes at a sensible time, but damn it he left the army a century ago and now he likes a lie in. Skug never really stopped being a soldier and still has most of his military habits, so he's up with the sun.

who’s the big spoon / little spoon

Ghastly is the big spoon. Skug likes to be Held.

who hogs the bathroom

Skug. The boy is vain as all fuck. There is a grand total of one cloudy looking-glass in Ghastly's family's home and Skug spends a good chunk of the morning hogging it to fuss with his hair and peacock at his reflection. Ghastly is under strict orders Never to mention this to Fletcher.

[deja-you]

ten ways to say (i love you)

t. jefferson x reader

summary: Thomas has never liked the conventional way of saying ‘I love you.’

word count: 6.1k

warnings: a little bit of angst, high school, karen

masterlist

1.

There is no better way to start off senior year than arriving late to your first class.

In Y/n’s defense, she had left her house early. For once in her life she was actually going to be early to school. She was so proud of herself, and was so certain that she had extra time, Y/n allowed herself to stop at a drive thru and pick up a drink as a reward. Everything was going according to plan. 

That is, until the Karen in the car in front of her decided she wasn’t pleased with her order and made the barista redo it. To make sure she didn’t mess up Karen’s order a second time, the barista was extra careful. And extra slow. Y/n groaned as she watched the time tick by minute by minute. Just her luck.

Y/n watched the barista hand the drink to the Karen and breathed a sigh of relief. Yet, Karen’s car didn’t move. She had her drink, but Karen continued to talk with the barista. Y/n cursed under her breath and banged her head on the steering wheel. She must have been more aggressive than she was expecting, because she accidentally honked her horn. 

She jumped back in shock at the loud noise. Karen poked her head out of her window and immediately began lecturing Y/n on how rude she was being. At least, that’s what Y/n assumed she was saying, she really couldn’t hear the Karen with her windows rolled up. Y/n bit her lip, gave the Karen a little wave, and mouthed an apology.

Eventually Karen had finished her rant and left the drive thru. Y/n got her drink, no longer a reward, more like a consolation now, and sped to school. There weren’t any other students in the parking lot by the time Y/n arrived, remind her of just how late she was. Y/n shoved all her materials in her backpack, locked her car, and quickly walked into the building. 

Of course, Y/n’s first class just had to be with Mr. Rousseau. Any other teacher would just let her tardiness slide. She opened the door to Mr. Rousseau’s classroom, and any conversation that was being had stopped. More than a dozen pairs of eyes turned their attention to her, and Y/n wanted to melt right there and then.

“Miss L/n, nice of you to join us.” Mr. Rousseau addressed her. He narrowed his eyes at her, leaning against his desk as he sized her up. “If you’re done being a distraction to my class, I’d appreciate it if you would take a seat.”

Y/n swallowed roughly, and nodded. Rousseau went back to lecturing the class on how his class would be run, and Y/n did her best to find a seat as quietly as she could. She instinctively made her way over to where her best friends, Abigail and Thomas were sitting. 

Thomas moved his backpack off the desk next to him, and mouthed, “I saved you a seat.”

She gave him a grateful smile and mouthed back a ‘thanks.’ 

Abigail leaned forward and whispered, “Mr. Rousseau wasn’t very amused with you being late, huh?”

“I swear he hates me,” Y/n insisted. 

Thomas rolled his eyes. “He doesn’t hate you, hon’.”

“Thomas is right,” Abigail said. “Mr. Rousseau doesn’t hate you especially. Everyone knows he just hates women.”

2.

Late night study session was code for hanging out at John Adams’s house and messing around.

Abigail was dating John, so Y/n was friends with him and his friends by association. Abigail, Dolly, and Y/n were actually trying to study. John and James were discussing the football team’s chances of winning their next game. Martha and George had snuck off to get freaky somewhere. 

“Okay, Dolly.” Abigail held up a flash card. “What can you tell me about the defenestration of Prague?”

“Um, people were thrown out of windows for fun?” Dolly replied lazily. 

“No. Well, I guess you’re not completely wrong...”

Y/n threw her body against the back of the couch and closed her eyes. If she had to stay here any longer, Y/n would throw herself out a window. Not that she didn’t want to hangout with her friends. After a long day of school, she wasn’t exactly thrilled to spend more time with the people she spent the whole day with. If it wasn’t for her fragile social status, Y/n would have already been home in her bed right now.

“Sorry m’late, had to drop my sister off at a gymnastics class. Or fencing. Or Italian. Honestly, I can’t remember.” Thomas walked into the living room where everyone was hanging out.

“Ah, yes. I had almost forgot that the Jeffersons are all overachievers,” Y/n said with and eye roll. 

He wore an easy grin as he made his way over to Y/n, leaning against the couch and staring down at her. “What can I say? We’re just built different.”

Y/n scoffed but refused to dignify him with any further response. Instead, she closed her eyes again, pretending she was back at home under warm covers. 

“I brought you food.” 

This caught Y/n’s attention. She slowly opened one eye to see if he was telling the truth. Thomas held up a bag of fast food he must’ve picked up on his way over. Y/n couldn’t help but smile as she sat upright.

“For me?” She asked.

“Of course, hon’.” He handed her the bag. “I know you didn’t have time for lunch today, and I know you likely wouldn’t have gotten around to eating anything yet.”

Y/n happily pulled out an order of large fries out of the bag. “Have I ever told you how amazing you are, Thomas?”

“Not often enough.”

“Well. You are amazing. So amazing.”

Y/n finished her fries and was looking through the rest of the bag to see what else he had gotten her when John called out to her. 

“Hey, Y/n,” John said, “what are your thoughts on my cousin?”

“You mean Sam Adams?” Y/n asked. 

“Yep. The very one.”

She shrugged. “He’s cute. Why?”

“He thinks you’re cute. Wanted me to ask if you’re single,” John said nonchalantly. 

Abigail took time away from quizzing Dolly to get invested in the conversation. “She’s very single. Right, Y/n? You and Sam would be so cute together!”

Y/n could feel her cheeks begin to heat up, and she suddenly found the hardwood floors very interesting. “I don’t know... he really thinks I’m cute?”

“S’what he said,” John replied. “Can I give him your number?”

She weighed her options before giving a shrug. “Yeah, why not?”

“Y/n and Sam? I totally ship it,” Dolly said.

“Right?” Abigail grinned. “They’re going to be such an attractive couple.”

“Okay, can we stop talking about this now? I’m here to study,” Y/n insisted, pulling out a textbook.

“I’d rather not fail tomorrow’s test,” Thomas agreed.

Everyone begrudgingly went back to their previous activities, and Thomas took that moment to sit next to Y/n on the couch. She was flipping through the pages of her textbook before she came to a stop. Y/n passed the textbook to Thomas and pointed to the painting on the page.

“Look, this one’s my favorite,” she said.

“Wanderer above the Sea of Fog,” Thomas read. “You’re a fan of Caspar David Friedrich, then?”

Y/n shrugged. “I’m just a fan of the Romantic movement in general. Everything was just so creative, and beautiful, and emotional. There’s just so much feeling in this painting. It’s overwhelming.”

Thomas frowned looking back at the painting, and then back to Y/n. “It certainly is romantic.”

She gave the painting one last look before she began flipping through the pages of the textbook again. Thomas watched her curiously as she read over the vocabulary words for that week. Finally, he decided to say what was on his mind. 

“So, you and Sam Adams, huh?” He nudged her gently with his shoulder.

Y/n bit her lip and focused on a peculiar tchotchke the Mrs. Adams had decorated the living room with. “I guess. I used to have a crush on him in middle school, remember?”

“That’s right. Abbie and I spent most of science class teasin’ you about that. No wonder you’re so bad at physics now.”

She frowned and playfully bumped her shoulder with his. “I’m not bad at physics.”

“Really?” Thomas considered her with eyebrows raised. “Remember that botched science experiment that nearly killed Mr. Newton?”

“Can we not talk about that? He’s still alive, isn’t he?”

He hid an amused look. “Whatever you say, honey.”

3.

You’re tired. The sheets are too hot. It’s been a long day, your body is exhausted. The air in your bedroom is too cold. Your mind is tired, too. The sheets are too hot. If you just close your eyes and stop thinking you’ll be asleep in minutes. The air in your bedroom is too cold. Not thinking isn’t exactly easy. The sheets are too hot. Go then if you must, but remember, no matter how -- damn you, Sophocles, and your terribly beautiful words. 

Thomas threw his covers off his body and sat up in bed. He wasn’t going to get much sleep no matter how hard he tried. Thomas rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, if there had been any sleep to begin with. 

There was no doubt that he was tired mentally and physically. Emotionally? His heart was eternally restless. He crossed his room to sit at his desk, fully accepting that sleep wasn’t a viable option anymore. 

The blue light from his computer was a harsh contrast to the darkness of his room, but his eyes adjusted quickly. Thomas didn’t even know what he was doing on his computer in the middle of the night.

His fingers knew. They opened up an application and began scrolling. No, no, no, yes. Perfect. No, no, no, no, no, yes. This is her. And this went on for an hour or so, Thomas lost track of time. He’d be tired tomorrow, but he wasn’t going to get any sleep until he was finished. 

When he actually was finished, he smiled contentedly to himself. A wave of calm washed over him, and before he knew it, Thomas was back in his bed falling asleep. 

He looked terrible the next morning. Well, as terrible as a Jefferson could look. He had still had the sense to dress nicely, collared shirt, sweater, ironed pants, polished dressed shoes. Thomas was still sharp as ever in all his classes, but anyone who really knew him could tell he was a mess. 

“You okay, Thomas?” Y/n asked at lunch in Mr. Locke’s classroom (Mr. Locke was kind enough to let a group of moody teenagers eat lunch in his class, the lunchroom just wasn’t cool enough for them).

“Hm? Yeah. I’m great.”

Y/n cocked her head to the side. “You sure? You seem tired.”

“Don’t worry about me. Actually, I have something for you.” Thomas fished his phone out of his pocket.

“You have something for me?”

“Yeah, I’m sending it now. Check your phone.”

She raised an eyebrow, but Y/n opened up her phone to check the text Thomas had sent her. 

“Sophocles and Serotonin.” Y/n read aloud. “What is this?”

“I made you a playlist of songs I thought you might like.”

“Seriously?” A smile played on her lips; Thomas couldn’t help but reflect it. “When did you have the time for this?”

He shrugged. “I have more free time than you’d think.”

“With all your APs, varsity sport, and extracurriculars? I highly doubt that.” Y/n looked up at him, a teasing lilt transparent in her tone. “I appreciate the playlist even more, knowing you took time out of your rigorous schedule to create it. Thanks, Thomas.”

She leaned forward on the desk she was seated on to press a kiss to his cheek. Thomas froze like a deer in headlights, and if Y/n noticed, she didn’t say anything. He put himself back together before she could notice he was momentarily put-off, and leaned back against another desk in an attempt to look cool.

“S’what do you have planned for after school?” He asked in his best nonchalant voice. 

“Well, Sam and I are going to go see a movie.”

“That’s still a thing, then?”

Y/n shot him a look that had him raising his hands up in surrender. “Yes, it’s still a thing. I really like him, okay? He’s a good guy.”

“But is he good enough for you?” Thomas crossed his arms, his eyes not leaving her’s. It wasn’t that Thomas didn’t like Sam. Sam was great. It was just a fact that no guy would ever be good enough for his best friend. 

“He is.” She said with an eye roll. “Why do you care anyway?”

“Hon’, I’m just trying to look out for you.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“Oh trust me, I know.”

4.

Summer had felt like an eternity ago, when in reality, it had been less than two months ago. The yellow leaves and the updated fall Starbucks menu were enough to convince anyone that it had always been October. 

It had taken a lot of convincing and a little bit of bribery to convince Thomas to attend the Homecoming football game, but with the assistance from Abigail, Y/n had eventually gotten Thomas to cave. She wanted him there, but more importantly, she wanted him to give her a ride there. 

Of course she could have taken her own car, but Y/n would rather not waste her own gas when she could use Thomas’s instead. It’s not like it mattered to him, his parents paid for his car, insurance, and gas anyway. Plus, his Mercedes Benz had a seat warming function that Y/n couldn’t get enough of. 

She spent most of the ride over to the stadium raving over his seat warmers, and Thomas spent most of the ride making fun of how excited she was about seat warmers. Eventually, they parked outside of the stadium, and Thomas paid for their entrance fee into the stadium.

“It’s co--” before Y/n could finish her sentence, remarking on the obvious cold weather, Thomas had handed her a sweatshirt. She looked down at the maroon sweatshirt, then back at Thomas, her mouth slightly open. “You brought an extra sweatshirt for me? I didn’t even ask.”

“You didn’t have to ask,” he shrugged. She put on the sweatshirt and stared at him with wide eyes. Thomas glanced at, bit the inside of his lip, and shook his head. “Now, don’t go thinking I care about you or somethin’ like that, hon’. Couldn’t have you taking the sweatshirt I’m wearing, then I’d be cold.”

She looked at him with a smug smile on her face that made him regret bringing her the sweatshirt in the first place. “Yeah? Is that all?”

“Yes, that’s all.” He was doing his best to act annoyed by all her questioning, but he couldn’t help but find it endearing. When he came up with another argument, he added on, “besides, ma would be upset with if she knew I let you freeze. It seems like she loves you more than she loves me sometimes.”

“That’s because she does,” Y/n pointed it out like it was obvious. “Can you blame her? I’m funny and adorable. You’re just a grumpy old man I have to drag to football games.”

“That’s it. Give the sweatshirt back. I hope you freeze.” Thomas was giving her the dirtiest look he could muster. Y/n had the audacity to throw her head back and laugh.

She reached into her purse, and after some digging around, she pulled out a five dollar bill from her wallet. Y/n thrusted the money into Thomas’s hand and pushed him in the direction of the concession stand. “Here. Go get us some popcorn, maybe you won’t be so irritable once you get some food in you. I’m going to go find some seats.”

Thomas grumbled something about “not being irritable” but nonetheless ventured off toward the concessions. Y/n climbed the steps up the stadium and immediately found Abigail sitting in the student section, all decked out in school colors and face paint. Abigail greeted Y/n with a warm hung, then holding her at an arms length, she took note of what her best friend was wearing.

“Is that Thomas’s sweatshirt?” Abigail asked.

Y/n looked down at the the University of Virginia sweatshirt she had wrapped around herself. “Hm? Oh yeah, it is.”

Abigail pursed her lips and mulled over this new information. “What’s going on between you and Thomas?”

“What d’ya mean? We’re friends.” Y/n pursed her lips. 

“And Thomas knows that?” Abigail observed Y/n. “Do you know that?”

Y/n narrowed her eyes at her friend. “Yes, of course I know that. I’m dating Sam now, okay? Thomas and I have always just been friends, and that’s all we’ll ever be.”

Abigail held her hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay. If you say so, I’ll believe you. I just don’t want any feelings to get hurt between the two of you.”

“There are no feelings between the two of us,” Y/n said, but she wouldn’t stop thinking about Abigail’s words for the rest of the night.

5.

All week, Thomas had dreamt about the mint chocolate chip ice cream that was waiting for him in the freezer. 

It was his favorite flavor, and there was just enough left in the carton for one last bowl. He had promised himself he wouldn’t eat the last of it until he had really deserved it. After spending a productive hour studying for the test he had tomorrow, Thomas decided he had finally earned that delectable bowl of artificially colored green ice cream. 

He made his way to the kitchen, humming an upbeat tune and sliding across the hardwood floor in his socks. Thomas had made it all the way to the freezer when there was a knock at the front door. 

Thomas paused. He was so close to getting his ice cream. Maybe it was just a delivery? He debated answering the bowl or ignoring and continuing to dish himself ice cream. Thomas was leaning toward his bowl of ice cream when there was a knock at the door again. With a scowl on his face, he abandoned the fridge and any hope for happiness he had left and made his way to the front door.

“Y/n?” He said in surprise when he opened the door.

“Hi, Thomas. I didn’t know who else to come to. Abigail’s out with John right now. Dolly and Martha aren’t good in situations like this,” she was speaking quickly, sniffling between sentences, and trying not to let any more tears fall down her cheeks. “I just--”

He interrupted Y/n by pulling her into his house and his arms. Y/n melted into his touch, her hands gripping his shirt as she hugged him back. 

“What happened?” Thomas asked softly, rubbing circles into her back with his thumbs.

“Sam and I broke up.”

Thomas sighed softly and rested his chin on her head. He bit his lip, weighed his options, and came to a reluctant conclusion. Thomas pulled away just enough that he could look Y/n in her bloodshot eyes.

“I think this is the part where we break out the ice cream, huh?”

She offered him a miserable smile. “Ice cream couldn’t hurt.”

He led her to his kitchen and began digging through the kitchen while she hopped onto the counter to sit. Thomas hid a frown from Y/n while in the process of pulling out the nearly empty carton of mint chocolate chip ice cream. 

“So you want to tell me what happened?” Thomas asked, pulling out a bowl from one of the cabinets.

“It wasn’t a bad breakup.” Despite her words, Y/n still wiped at her tears with the sleeves of her shirt. “We mutually agreed it was best for both of us.”

“Yeah?”

She nodded. “He’s just not... he’s not the one.”

Thomas felt something twist and turn in his stomach, but he knew it wouldn’t be right to be happy when his friend was so miserable. He did his best to hide the smile that wanted to form in the corners of his mouth. “M’sorry about that, honey.”

“I know it was the right decision,” she said, staring up at the ceiling in an attempt not to let any more tears stream down her face. “Doesn’t mean it hurts any less, though.”

“It’s normal to be upset after a break up,” Thomas shrugged.  

“You’re not going to have any ice cream?” Y/n asked quietly as he handed her a singular bowl.

“Not in the mood for it,” he lied. 

6.

“You get enough sleep last night, hon’?”

Y/n was in mid-yawn when he asked her the question. She held a hand over her mouth and nodded. “Yeah. Why?”

“You look terrible.”

She scowled at him. “Wow. Just what a girl wants to hear. Anyone ever tell you you’re a charmer, Thomas Jefferson?”

“You’d be surprised.” He gave her a teasing smile. “So who’s the cause for your sleepless nights?”

“Napoleon Bonaparte.” She held up her textbook for him to see. “Why’d I ever let you convince me to take an AP class with you?”

“Because you like spending time with me?”

“Nah, that’s not it.”

“Ouch.” Thomas held a hand over his heart. “You really stayed up late studying for the quiz?”

“Some people have to study, okay? Not everyone’s as gifted as Thomas flippin’ Jefferson.”

“Flippin’?” He stifled a laugh.

“We’re at school. Gotta keep it PG, right?” She shrugged. “So yeah, I stay up and study sometimes. High schoolers aren’t supposed to get a good amount of sleep. S’not a big deal.”

“Yeah, well, sometimes I worry about you.”

She tilted her head to the side and gave him a small smile. “You don’t need to worry about me.”

“Believe me, if I could just shut it off, I would. I’ll make you a Quizlet next time so you can get more sleep.”

Y/n was about to say something in response when her phone began ringing in her pocket. “I should get this.”

She went out into the hallway to answer the call, and Thomas turned back to his lunch, not even bothering to hide his smile. 

“Thomas.”

He jumped at the sound of a voice and turned to see Abigail sitting at the desk across from him. Had she been listening to them the whole time? Thomas had completely forgotten she was there; a fact he would be certain not to share with her.

“Yes, Abbie?”

“Do you have a crush on Y/n?” 

Thomas blinked a few times, certain that he hadn’t heard Abigail right. “Excuse me?”

Abigail rolled her eyes, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “You heard me right, Jefferson. Do you have a crush on Y/n?”

“Y/n? Where’d you get that idea?” Thomas made a face like he was disgusted by the very thought of it.

“Oh, I don’t know. You’re always following her around and doing whatever it takes to make her happy. Not to mention you always call her “hon’,” seems pretty affectionate to me.” Abigail had a talent for laying out the facts.

“We’ve been friends since I can remember, of course I care about her. So what if I have a nickname for her? Doesn’t mean anything.”

“It’s not like you have a nickname for anyone else.”

“I call you ‘Abbie’. I have a nickname for everyone.”

“We both know that’s a load of B.S. Are you really telling me you don’t like Y/n?”

“I don’t like Y/n.” And it wasn’t exactly a lie, because the feelings he had for Y/n had progressed far beyond liking. 

7.

“There’s nothing people appreciate more than a hand-made gift, right?” Y/n said, pulling out a ball of azure colored yarn.

Thomas crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against a wall. “Sure, ‘cept maybe a nice Rolex or a new car.”

She scowled at him. “I don’t know what it is about me that makes you think I can afford a Rolex or a new car. I’m an unemployed high school student. My only income comes from birthday cards from my grandparents.”

“Ah, I see. Well, I’m sure Abigail will love the scarf you make for her.”

“Yeah, how hard could it be?” Y/n muttered, staring at the mess of strings in her lap.

Thomas’s eyes widened a little. “You telling me you’ve never crocheted before?”

“How hard could it be?” She pulled up a beginners guide on YouTube, and five minutes later, Y/n had a knotted pile of yarn in her hands. She huffed in frustration and began to aggressively pull at the yarn.

“Let me help.”

“You know how to knit?” Y/n raised a skeptical eyebrow at him.

Thomas rolled his eyes, sitting next to her and taking the “scarf” out of her hands. “This is crocheting. You don’t even have knitting needles.”

“Apologies. You know how to crochet?” 

“Lucy went through a stage where she was really into crocheting,” he shrugged. Thomas had quickly untangled Y/n’s “progress” and began to expertly thread together loops of yarn. He held up his work to her once a pattern had begun to form. “See? Perks of growing up with sisters.”

“I hate that you’re good at everything.” 

He snorted and gently began to move the work into Y/n’s hand for her to finish the rest. “’M’not good at everything. Just most things.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” Y/n was now laser focused on the project in front of her, determined to get it right this time. Thomas would advise her, but for the most part he let her work on it by herself. She was a fast learner.

“You’re never going to get it like that, hon--” Thomas caught himself, remembering the conversation he had had with Abigail earlier. “Y/n. You’re never going to get it like that, Y/n.”

She looked up at him with furrowed brows. “What?”

He swallowed roughly and shook his head. “It’s nothing. Just... You’re going to want to pull the yarn tighter or it’s all going to unravel later.”

“Oh. Thanks, Thomas.”

8.

It was 2 a.m., and Y/n had already came to terms with the fact that she wasn’t going to get more than five hours of sleep. She wasn’t exactly trying very hard to sleep. She had tried to refresh her Instagram feed maybe a dozen times now, but it wasn’t like anyone was posting in the middle of the night. Instagram was doing a poor job keeping her mind distracted. 

Lightly biting her bottom lip, she threw her body back onto her bed with a loud sigh. She wrinkled her nose and caved, navigating to the facetime app on her phone. Hesitating one last time, Y/n tapped his contact with her thumb. Her phone began to hum while she waited for him to pick up.

“Hey, Thomas. I know it’s late,” she said when he finally answered the phone. Y/n frowned when she saw him rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “Sorry, did I wake you?”

“No, no. Couldn’t sleep anyway,” replied his groggy voice.

“You’re lying. Hey, don’t worry about it. Go back to sleep.”

“I was already up.”

“No, you weren’t. Don’t let me bother you.”

Thomas stopped rubbing his eyes and looked at Y/n firmly through the camera. “Maybe I was asleep, but I’m up now, yeah? Don’t worry about waking me up. I’d rather talk to you any way.”

Y/n pursed her lips, giving him a doubtful look. Thomas was too polite to ever tell someone if they were bothering him. She couldn’t tell if he really wanted to talk to her, or if he was just too courteous to tell her otherwise. 

He noticed the look she gave him and rolled his eyes. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?” 

“Like you don’t believe me. Would’ve stopped bein’ friends with you years ago if I didn’t find all your annoying habits endearing. Promise.” Thomas shot her a smug smile that made her wish she hadn’t called. 

“So kind of you,” she said sarcastically. 

“I try.” His grin widened, if that was even possible. “So what’d you want to talk to me about?”

Y/n chewed on her bottom lip and shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t?” Thomas narrowed his eyes and leaned in closer to the camera. After he had examined her carefully, he leaned back and crossed his arms. “Yeah you do. What is it?”

She shifted, uncomfortable by how easy it was for him to see right through her. Once more that night, she caved. “I can’t stop thinking about how you called me ‘Y/n’ earlier today?”

He tensed up but the action was barely noticeable. “What about it? It’s your name.”

“Sure,” she nodded, “but you never call me ‘Y/n.” It’s always ‘hon’’ or ‘honey.’ Always. Did something happen? Are you mad at me?”

Thomas raised his eyebrows and shook his head. “No, ‘course not. Everything’s fine.” He paused. “That really upset you? Me calling you ‘Y/n’?”

“It’s just not normal.”

“It’s not normal for people to call you by your name?”

“It is, but you are supposed to call me ‘honey.’ Okay?”

He laughed through his nose and couldn’t stop an amused smile from spreading on his lips. “Okay, honey.”

9.

“I’m finally going to get to see your mural, then?”

Thomas rolled his eyes. “It’s not my mural, Y/n. It’s the senior mural. It’s not like I’m painting it.”

“Yeah, but it was your idea.” She gave him a playful nudge. “I don’t know why you haven’t told me what it is yet. I’m sure if the great Thomas Jefferson designed it, it’ll be the best Senior mural ever seen at Charlottesville High School.”

“Don’t get your hopes up, hon’. I’d hate to disappoint you.”

“You could never disappoint me,” she said matter-of-factly. “You’re Thomas Jefferson.”

They turned the corner to see their fellow senior, Henrietta Johnston, working on the mural. The previously beige wall was now covered in black, gray, and light blue paint. In the middle of the painting was a figure made up of colorful hand prints standing above the blue-gray sea.

Y/n stared at the mural with an open mouth. She looked from Henrietta to Thomas, then back to the wall in front of her.

“It was my idea to make the figure all colorful with handprints,” Thomas said. “Thought it would be nice to let our class to literally leave a mark on this school.”

Henrietta smiled at the mural and set down her paintbrush. “It was a good idea. The splash of color is just what it needed. What do you think, Y/n? Do you like it?”

“Like it? I love it. It’s... it’s perfect.” She turned to Thomas with wide eyes. “Wanderer above the Sea of Fog. This is my favorite painting.”

“I noticed -- don’t give me that look. It’s not like I care that much. You just never shut up about that painting. It’s annoying, really,” Thomas muttered, rubbing the back of his neck and looking down at the ground.

She smiled and turned her attention back to the mural. “I can’t even begin to tell you how much I love this. I can’t believe you remembered.”

“Of course. It’s worth it, seeing how much you like it.”

There was a beat of silence.

“You’re the kind of person I could fall in love with, you know that?” She didn’t take her eyes off the painting, and Thomas was glad. 

Maybe if she had looked at him, she would have seen his breath catch in his throat and his eyes widen just a little bit. If he was the kind of person she could fall in love with, then why didn’t she? Thomas was flustered. If Y/n had noticed his lack of response, she didn’t say anything. 

10.

Charlottesville High School was filled with rich kids. The Charlottesville High School debate team had a minimal amount of members. These factors resulted in Thomas and Y/n having their own hotel rooms when they attended a debate function in Washington D.C.

After a long day of debating, Thomas and Y/n walked side by side down the narrow corridor to their respective rooms. Every now and then, they spared looks at each other when they thought the other wouldn’t notice.

Thomas cleared his throat. “So that guy in the green shirt asked me for your number.”

She glanced up at him. “He did? Did you give it to him?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Thought he was out of your league. Told him you snored like an ogre and I gave him Maria’s number instead,” he said with a shrug.

She gasped and shoved his shoulder. “Are you kidding me? I don’t snore like an ogre! He was cute and interested in me.”

“Can’t imagine why.”

Y/n scowled. “For your information, I’m adorable. I’m funny and enjoyable to be around. Even if I ‘snore like an ogre’ I’m also extremely attractive, so it makes up for it.”

“You don’t need to sell me on reasons why you’re dateable, honey,” he chuckled softly.

“Oh yeah?”

At the same time, Y/n and Thomas turned to face each other. Their teasing banter stopped when they realized they were only inches apart, he could hear every inhale and exhale. His eyes flicked to her lips. It was only for a second, but she hadn’t missed it. 

Thomas took a step back and cleared his throat. “It’s late, we should go to bed. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” she echoed. They both hurriedly stepped into their own rooms. 

Had he almost kissed her? Did that really just happen? Y/n leaned against her hotel room door. Maybe she had just imagined it. She shook her head and grabbed a sweatshirt and a pair of shorts out of her suitcase. Maybe Y/n could stop thinking about it after a good nights rest. She changed and was about to brush her teeth when she felt some kind of nagging feeling inside.

It was naïve to think she was going to get any sleep tonight if she didn’t confront Thomas about it. Y/n set down her toothbrush and made her way out into the fluorescent lit hallway. She had made it all the way to his door when she paused.

Is this really what she wanted to do? If Y/n brought up their almost-kiss, would they be able to go back to friends? Did she even want to go back to friends? Y/n bit her lip and glanced back at her own room door. She should just go to bed, it wasn’t worth putting their friendship in jeopardy. But then again, Y/n would always wonder what could have happened if she didn’t confront him.

She raised her fist to knock on Thomas’s door, but before she could knock, the door swung open. Thomas and Y/n once more stood face to face. She had a wide eyed expression that mirrored Thomas’s.

There was an accelerated heartbeat. A flutter. Thomas’s arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer to him. Y/n’s hand found its place on the back of his neck and guided his lips to her’s. His eyes were half open, sneaking glances at her to assure himself he wasn’t dreaming. Her overwhelming scent and the feeling of his hands threaded through her hair was all too real. 

Thomas pulled her into his room, kicking the door closed behind them. Placing both hands on his broad chest, she pushed him back onto the bed and climbed on top of him, straddling his hips. 

Thoughts were racing in Y/n’s mind. She tried to put reason to the way he gripped her waist tightly -- there would be bruises there the next day. She tried to put reason to the way his pupils dilated as she went in for another kiss. Y/n came up empty handed.

There was no way Y/n felt the same way, Thomas told himself. There was no way she loved him the way he loved her. For as long as he could remember, he had been in love with Y/n L/n. And for as long as he could remember, she had only seen him as her best friend.

Thomas missed the warmth of her lips when she pulled away, but he couldn’t help but admire the way her lips were swollen and her hair was a mess. Her bright eyes, and the way light highlighted the softness of her skin. Thomas took that moment to memorize every line and curve of her face, branding the memory into his head. 

She leaned in to kiss him again, but he pushed her away this time, sitting up. “Stop. We... we can’t do this. This can’t just be a one time thing.”

“Why not?” Her voice was quiet and delicate.

He felt his heart twist inside his chest and he clenched his jaw. “Because I love you.”