#of the same piece.. same for the space one bc i could just dump all of lissez stuff in there but. now it's unbalanced towards one artist!!

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Alright so.

Miku playlist that's all techno shit

General vocaloid playlist that's all techno shit

Pouf playlist that's just entirely made of miku songs

Vintage vocaloid required listening playlist

Iconic vocaloid songs required listening playlist

[martianbugsbunny]

Hour One (A Kalluzeb Fic)

*falling down the stairs* I did it! I finished my post-Zero Hour fic, it's so tasty to me <3 I'm not even gonna ramble about it I'm just gonna get right to the fic bc I love it!!! read on and enjoy!!!

When the ship was safely in hyperspace, Kanan quietly let Kallus into a room on the Ghost that was currently deserted. Judging by the half-made bunk beds against the wall, Kallus assumed it was living quarters, but he was too distracted by the growing pain in his shoulders and ribs to try and piece together whose room it was.

“I’ll give you a minute,” Kanan said. And then Kallus was alone again, with the forgiving, kind voice of the Jedi echoing in his brain. He didn’t deserve that. He didn’t deserve to be spoken to softly. He was lucky these people whom he’d hunted across the galaxy for years had even bothered to pick up his escape pod, rather than speeding away from the Imperial fleet and applying the rule of “serves him right.”

Something in him cracked. He began to sob, silently, terrified of what he had done in betraying the Empire, overwhelmed by a thousand different strident feelings he couldn’t even name. The heavy breaths hurt (every movement seemed to hurt, now that his adrenaline rush was wearing thin) and his head was pounding. Was the world really spinning, or was that just him?

At the first hiss of the door sliding open, Kallus dragged his sleeve hastily across his face to remove any tears or snot that might give away that he’d been crying—a bad decision, really, given his black eye, which stung at the rough contact.

It wasn’t Kanan who stepped into the room, slightly awkwardly and with bright green eyes that reflected back at Kallus those unnamable emotions.

It was Zeb.

Kallus took a step back, hands clenched at his sides. He knew his eyes were red and he could feel spots on his face where he had missed tears, and he hoped Zeb wouldn’t notice. He had no right to cry in front of this man, of all people.

Zeb stared at him for a moment, and Kallus could feel him mentally checking off all the things that were currently wrong on Kallus’s person. Hunched posture from his injured ribs; blotchy face; bloodstains on his uniform and dried blood on his lip.

“I brought you some clothes,” Zeb said. In the other hand he held a medkit, and Kallus realized with a sinking feeling that those supplies were for him. What a waste of resources that seemed. “They’re probably not your size, but they’re better than the Imperial things you’re wearing.”

Kallus took a breath before answering, surprised at how steady he was able to force his voice to be. “Thank you,” he said.

Then there was a horrible pause as Kallus realized he wouldn’t be able to remove his chest armor, much less his shirt, without help, and he could see the exact same knowledge dawning on Zeb’s face. “Karabast,” he said. “You’re going to be stubborn about this, aren’t you.”

Kallus shook his head after only a brief moment of thought. He didn’t have the strength to punish himself any further. Whether or not he was worthy of Zeb’s help would have to wait until he was healed. “If you don’t mind,” he said, taking another shaky breath as he once again met Zeb’s gaze.

He didn’t look angry. He almost seemed…proud? That wasn’t right. Kallus was seeing things; his brain had been shaken up by his escape and he was imagining things that weren’t there. “I don’t,” Zeb said. He crossed the room and set the clothes down on the lower bunk. “Sit,” he said, gesturing to the empty space next to them.

Kallus did as he was told, relieved to be off his feet. The leg he’d injured on Bahryn had been hurting horribly since his fight with Thrawn, particularly his knee. He might need to consider getting a brace, he realized, if he wanted to keep fighting—which he did.

Zeb unclasped the sides of Kallus’s ISB-issued armor, dumping it on the floor. “Sabine’ll get a kick out of painting that,” Zeb said. “You can wear our colors instead of Imperial ones.” “Give it to somebody else,” Kallus said. “I don’t want it.” Zeb gave him another strange look that he couldn’t parse. “Whatever you say.” He began to work at the clasps of Kallus’s uniform shirt. They definitely wasn't built for his large, clawed fingers. “So…you’re a Rebel now,” he said. “Still think you made the right decision?”

There weren’t words to describe how firmly Kallus was convinced of it. He was terrified, staring into the face of the unknown, but he knew he’d done the right thing—he just wasn’t sure how to live with the consequences. How to build a new life for himself out of the ruins of his old one…which had been built on the ruins of so many other people’s lives.

So Kallus simply nodded, trying to keep himself from spilling any more tears. The thing that made that impossible was the gentle way Zeb worked the unclasped shirt from his torso, pulling off one sleeve and then the other, grumbling angrily in that deep, rumbling voice when he saw the bruises on Kallus’s side.

“I apologize,” Kallus said immediately, his voice stiff and cracked like old, uncared-for leather. “This isn’t fair.” Zeb helped him get his arms into the new shirt he’d brought, leaving the clasps undone; the medics would only have to undo them again later to treat his injuries properly. Then he draped a quilted jacket across Kallus’s shoulders.

“You just uprooted your entire life, Kallus,” Zeb said, sighing and adjusting a non-existent crease in the jacket. “I would think it was weird if you didn’t cry.”

“Not in front of you. You shouldn’t comfort me.” Kallus moved backwards, further into the bunk, away from Zeb’s touch. He didn’t deserve empathy and he didn’t want pity. “This shouldn’t be your problem.”

Zeb got up from the floor where he’d been kneeling and sat on the edge of the bunk, staring at the opposite wall instead of at Kallus. “Maybe not,” he agreed. “Maybe I should say it’s none of my business. Maybe I should leave you to deal with it alone. But when you worked with me on that ice moon, and saved my friends from the Empire, and fed us all that intel as Fulcrum, I think you kind of made yourself my business.” He turned back towards Kallus, his face serious, his eyes soft. “Now let me check your other injuries.”

Kallus complied, shifting closer to Zeb. Even if it didn’t sit right with him, he didn’t think he could refuse Zeb anything. He would do whatever he was asked, whatever he was told—even allow Zeb to take on some of his burden—if it would make a fraction of a difference. If it would help him so much as an inch towards making amends.

With his broad hands carefully gentle, Zeb put a few stitches in Kallus’s broken lower lip. Kallus wondered where Zeb had learned those skills; if it was gained during his time in the Honor Guard of Lasan or in the Rebellion. For a moment, he was lost in wondering, searching Zeb’s face while he was intent on his task as though he could find an answer there. He only realized Zeb had paused and asked him a question when Zeb tilted his head to the side, staring at Kallus for an answer of his own.

“Could you repeat that?”

Zeb rolled his eyes. “I said, can you see alright? That black eye doesn’t look too good.”

His eyes were dry now, but there was still a blur in the left side of his vision. “Actually, I can’t,” he said, swallowing hard. “Everything to the left is hazy.”

“It'll probably need a while to heal,” Zeb said. “If it doesn’t, we’ll get you fitted with some visual aids.” He dabbed something cold and clear on the bruised skin. “There’s nothing more I can do until we land, but you should be fine.”

The pain in his side begged to argue, and he was pretty sure that something in there was broken, but Kallus nodded. “Thank you,” he said quietly. “For everything."

How could he put that everything into words? Thank you for not killing me on Bahryn, thank you for telling me to look for the answers, thank you for believing me when I was Fulcrum, thank you for picking me up just now, thank you for tending my wounds.

He didn’t need to. The way Zeb was looking at him, he already knew.

“We have enough people on board to handle things,” Zeb said, his voice equally low. “I can stick around here for a while if you want the company.”

Kallus felt a smile tugging at the stitches on his lip. More everything to be grateful for. “Alright.”

They sat there together on the bunk for a while in silence. It was a comfortable silence, somehow, and Kallus finally began to relax, not breathing easily past the injuries to his ribs but certainly breathing more easily than before.

“You were limping,” Zeb said, breaking the quiet. “When you came on board you were limping.”

“Once you’re wounded, that body part becomes a target. It’s not so bad, now that my weight’s been off it.” Zeb leaned back against the wall. “That’s good.” He extended one arm to Kallus. “Come on, Kal. We’ve got time before we land anywhere, you can rest.”

There was a moment of hesitation, of doubt, and then Kallus allowed himself to settle next to Zeb, with a strong purple arm around his shoulders. As he started drifting off, safe for the first time in months and knowing his injuries would be cared for, Kallus thought he felt Zeb’s fingers gently rubbing across his arm, and there was a little pit of warmth in his chest that kept the cold of pain and guilt out.

[twinanimatronics]

I have 0 intention of watching SAMS bc at this point catching up would be too much of a time investment, but at the same point, I would love to have a bit of context for went you & Dana rant about it.

Mayhaps could I have a tldr? Just so I can get the gist about what y'all are freaking out about ever couple of weeks.

Okay so I woke up really early but it’s my day off and I’m in an info dumping mood so—

—Rubs Gay little hands together then slams them on a cork board with photos and shit pinned to it—

INSTEAD OF A TL;DR I’M GONNA GIVE YOU A WHOLE DANG ASS SUMMARY

WHICH I WILL UPDATE REGULARLY

And yes I did spend 20 minutes making that dumb meme edit, before you ask.

OKAY

(putting a Read More cause this is gonna get LONG)

So, the Sun and Moon show, like all the Security Breach Channel shows, started off as just a character gaming channel with Sun and Moon. And in my personal opinion, as well as based on total subscriber count, the superior one of the lot since we never bother with the other channels unless there's a guest appearance from the boys on one of their episodes. (Literally we just here for Sun and Moon. The other character channel portrayals are just kinda "meh" or irksome)

Sun and Moon are portrayed as both the same person but also different individuals who choose to view the other as their brother (familiar, familiar) and is after they've managed to get their own separate bodies. Moon having made one for himself and left Sun with the original one.

Moon is not as much as a Gremlin as he is in canon and is more indifferent. He's into science and is friends with Satan (I am not joking)

Meanwhile, Sun is...

Sun.

As I said, the channel started off as just a character gaming channel with them just playing games, reacting to things, and some occasional VR shenanganry. The Invisible Davis (Sun) and EC_Universal's (Moon) sibling chemistry and banter is seriously top notch. And Davis even comes on as Monty sometimes (who now has his own channel with Foxy, but that's more recent and later on in this info dump).

Things are pretty tame at first lorewise. Just building up things like their relationships with the other animatronics (Like Sun being hopelessly in love with Roxanne. Which originally felt like a forced plotline but now he isn't in love with her at all anymore and has come to see her as a horrible person)

The biggest things that used to happen early on were really just Monty and his money-making scam attempts like:

Charging Sun several thousand dollars a second for his assistance in the daycare and selling him a space condo for $50 (which he revealed to have exploded recently) that Moon had to force him to give Sun's deposit back on.

Then things start happening...

Sun starts having blackouts and acting not like himself and not remembering things that happen from hours to even days at a time. This is when Eclipse starts to make himself known in both VR Lore vids and even gaming vids. Eclipse being: A piece of Moon's coding that was left behind when the two of them separated (the part of him that contained the homicide/Kill Code "glitch" that was a big part of him) inside of Sun that became it's own entity.

Moon's reason for doing this is cause he thought the code would die off having been mostly severed from him and that he himself could evolve to be more than a killing machine if it was gone. He thought Sun would be fine. But he came to realize he just left his brother with different cancerous entity living off him (his words to describe their previous shared body relationship).

Eclipse has very strong abandonment issues. And it's the primary motivation he has for everything he does. He is EXTREMELY pissed at Moon for leaving him behind inside of Sun who he was supposed to HATE and instead became all brotherly with. Forcing Eclipse to live Moon's nightmare of being trapped in a body he had no control over (Legit we got an episode featuring Eclipse's first moments of sentience after being severed from Moon highlighting all this).

However, this wasn't the first time that Eclipse had allegedly taken control by this point in time: A year after their seperation.

There was an event, July 16th, where Sun was extremely stressed in the daycare and supposedly snapped. He blacked out and when he came to...

Lots of kids were dead.

Eclipse was initially believed to be the cause of this event. But actually, it was BloodMoon. Another AI that Eclipse created while first trying to escape from Sun's body prison.

But upon the revelation of Eclipse's existence, BloodMoon's is still unknown.

Moon attempts to find a way to remove Eclipse from Sun and, upon their creator being of no help and completely useless, is recommended by Glamrock Freddy to go see Golden Freddy (or maybe the Creator contacts them after they see Golden, IDK I forget the exact order of those events).

Golden Freddy is Glamrock Freddy and classic Freddy's dad (Yeah, don't ask. These parts of the lore Dana and I kinda hate and just try to ignore) who is an all powerful ghost entity (again, don't ask) who uses magic to turn Moon into a plushie.

Long story short, Eclipse can't be removed if he doesn't WANT to be removed without killing Sun. And he REFUSES to be removed even when offered a body of his own cause this bitch baby is out for vengeance.

But now Moon knows magic.

He burns down some buildings that he cheers about getting reported over a police scanner.

And then they get called in by the government to be interviewed for that and other shit.

Also: apparently animatronics have a choice to make themselves techno-organic so they can eat things and shit (including having kids through sexy times, yes I am not fucking you)?

Sun and Moon refuse to take this up tho and at most Moon just installs nanomachines (son) into himself so he can eat metal as a way to repair himself.

Keep this nanomachine tech in your mind going forwards, btw.

BUT CONTINUING WITH THE PLOT

Pieces of the killcode inside of Moon begin to rebuild itself and Moon starts getting violent and kills a government guy that was hunting him and Sun down. Cause while they were being interviewed he came out and snapped a man's neck. Something that Moon and Sun argued about cause Moon was starting to think that Sun wanted to do these things like Eclipse implied and was just using him as a scapegoat so he wouldn't have to process his negative emotions.

And he was.

Kind of.

Cause even now, in the present (way after this point in the story I'm explaining) with Eclipse gone he still has extreme anger management issues and the occasional violent impulse. But that doesn't make him BAD (though he believes himself to be as a result). He just has a hard time regulating his emotions and keeping them in check because he was used to being the purely positive side of the coin when he and Moon were one. Being the happy to Moon's sad/angry.

Moon contacts their creator again for help with his issue. But once again, the creator does nothing.

Oh also, that government guy?

Yeah, Moon ate him.

My guy really ate a human person.

Sun and Moon fight with Sun choosing to leave Moon alone to wallow after getting punched in the face. Telling Moon how it was apparently too hard for him to be a good brother and REALLY putting a divide between the two of them.

Then, at some point, after Eclipse keeps sending Sun and Moon to different dimensions to torture them yet again (yeah, alternate dimension travel and universes exist and is a very frequent thing in SAMS) Eclipse sends the boys to fight a Wither Storm, which they come out of alive with their brotherly bond restored.

However, Moon is still going a bit insane cause of the killcode.

And then Eclipse creates Lunar and inserts hm into Moon's head.

Lunar is essentially a Sun version of Moon, his new happy, much like how Eclipse is a Moon version of Sun. Lunar is very child-like and was made to help Eclipse to find this Dues-Ex-Machina thing known as the Star. A thing of ultimate power that can be used to reshape and rebuild the world however the wielder wishes.

Eclipse's plan is to reset the world and become god.

Or, at least it WAS.

But more on that later.

Lunar being put in Moon's head helped with keeping the Kill Code at bay and allowed Moon to retain his sanity. And, after some initial antagonization, Moon and Lunar come to a bit of an agreement of having Lunar help him and Sun with information about Eclipse and BloodMoon (who they are finally told about but believe isn't real at this point). Moon just had to install games in his head for Lunar to play and whenever the daycare was open would let Lunar out to handle the kids instead since he liked it and was better with the children than he was as the one week he spent pretending to be Moon highlighted.

However, Eclipse gives both Sun and Moon a timeframe to hand over the Star before their bodies will be forcibly taken over by himself and Lunar.

They have until Halloween.

Oh and at some point he installed this maternity chip thing into Roxanne and she suddenly adopted Gregory and wanted to remarry her ex, Glamrock Freddy, when she and Sun supposedly had a "Thing" (they went on one date where it was all about HER) but we don't really care at all about that despite the wedding supposedly being some kind of big deal in the Security Breach Show verse but then it wasn't.

Obviously, Eclipse doesn't get the Star.

But Moon also doesn't exactly have a plan to stop him either and spends the last day they had to hand over the star having a breakdown over being realizing he is going to be trapped in his own body again.

So October begins and the Sun and Moon Show becomes the Eclipse and Lunar Show. And while they're in control, Eclipse made it so any time that Lunar moves in Moon's body, Moon will feel an immense amount of pain. The same way Sun used to any time he was in control of their shared body in the beginning.

Things don't go so well during that month when it's the Eclipse and Lunar Show. Lunar wanted to just have fun and get an actual brotherly relationship out of Eclipse, but Eclipse just viewed him as a tool to control (Literally, he inserted programs that let him control and even KILL HIM if he wanted).

And there were times when they fought where Eclipse hit him.

Which Eclipse momentarily seemed to regret before shoving his emotions deep down inside himself so he could ignore them because he refuses to let himself feel genuinely happy (Legit he made Lunar out of the coding bits of himself that were good and positive cause he hated them and didn't want them cause they came from Sun's code melding with what code of Moon's he was birthed from.).

At this point, Moon, Lunar, and Monty are working together to stop Eclipse and, for some reason, Lunar comes up with the plan of building BloodMoon (who somehow exists as a spectral manifestation of rage or something) a body so he can fight Eclipse. BloodMoon only agrees cause Lunar allows him to go out and kill hobos and will occasionally bring him bags of blood from the blood bank.

Then, after another fight with Eclipse, Lunar relinquishes control of the body completely back to Moon because he doesn't want to play outside anymore.

Before Moon gets control of his body again, though (and before deflecting an attempt of Eclipse's to kill Lunar while posing as him), Lunar asks if he and Sun can be his brothers. Which Moon wholly agrees to and tells Sun about when he goes inside of his and Eclipse's shared head to tell him his plan of banishing Eclipse via magic in a way that WON'T also kill him too (and leaving Sun with a massive magic dictionary and spells he has to memorize for when the day comes).

The day arrives.

BloodMoon and Eclipse fight while, in his head, Sun manages to banish Eclipse.

However, he says the spell WRONG so instead of being banished and dead forever he's just lying somewhere mangled and dying in the woods.

But Sun saying the spell wrong didn't matter in the end cause Eclipse had a bunch of backups he could have come back from. One of which he PLANTED INSIDE BLOODMOON while fighting him.

Queue things being relatively tame for awhile. Excluding Moon working himself to death finding and deleting Eclipse's backups.

But in the background BloodMoon running around wild and free killing random people and working with Eclipse/torturing him inside their body (cause BloodMoon is actually TWO people, not one.).

Eventually, Eclipse enacts his new plan of pushing Moon to the breaking point and making his Kill Code fully resurface. Which Moon was still struggling with and was concerned would potentially corrupt Lunar.

How Eclipse does this is by having the Bloodtwins mess with Sun and Moon while disguised as either of them (cause their body is made of nanomachines so they can shapeshift. I TOLD YOU THE NANOMACHINES WERE IMPORTANT) and the final nail in the coffin is Eclipse controlling them to pretend to be Sun and confronting Moon about how much he hated him and how he wished he'd DIE.

And thus the kill code is reactivated.

But not just reactivated, it's now since evolved into its own SENTIENT BEING that's fully in control while Moon is trapped inside his own head.

Again.

However, Moon aint the only one trapped now.

So is Lunar.

Monty goes inside Moon's head an manages to rescue Lunar to take him out and give him his own body. But at first Lunar doesn't want to go cause he doesn't want to leave Moon alone and insists on being "his happy".

Eventually, Moon and Kill Code (who we will call KC from now on) make an agreement to timeshare the body and not get in the way of one another's plans.

KC wants to just kill all the bad people in the world and has recruited BloodMoon (willingly) and Eclipse (unwillingly) who he views as his children to work with him.

Lunar returns in his new body (also made of Nanomachines) at this point and Moon has found a dimension for him to visit that has an Eclipse in it that's nice and who he is able to talk with and have an actual bond with. As a form of some sort of therapy since our Eclipse was a shitty brother and traumatized the bean and the Nice Eclipse of that dimension was kind of ostracized by the others since he was born from his Sun and Moon's split going completely WRONG.

The creator at some point stops by again and announces that he has created Sun and Moon a sister named Earth who is supposed to be better than them in every way (she's actually not and has her own flaws) and that she was going to be living with them now. (Sun literally says: "Die already, old man!" to him and other things a lot of people probably wish they could say to a shitty parent).

Meanwhile, at the KC Cave:

Eclipse is uploaded into a basic computer.

Eclipse HATES KC and immediately plots against him but builds him a robot by the name of Solar Flare to help him anyway. But, behind the scenes, Eclipse contacts Moon for help in killing KC.

And at the same time, Solar Flare ALSO contacts Moon for help to kill ECLIPSE and PROTECT KC.

As this is happening, the Bloodtwins have reverted back to messing with Sun while disguised as Moon again. However, they push him to far and Sun ends up obliterating them with a laser canon Eclipse had made that was hidden inside the musical barrels that are in the daycare.

Moon hears this as it happens, but Sun lies to him and tells him he just accidentally destroyed some "garbage".

KC ends up having to tell Moon what really happened when BloodMoon doesn't turn up after more than a week. Putting a bit of strain on the boys' relationship again cause Sun LIED to Moon.

Being so tired and done with everything and having finally fully snapped, Sun is now on a war path of finding and trying to kill Eclipse himself instead of letting Moon do all the work like always. Lunar finds out and he and Sun have a falling out with Lunar saying Sun was behaving just like Eclipse (and he was in their fight, belittling Lunar). But Lunar said some awful and hypocritical things too.

Sun storms off and it is at this point when Eclipse first contacts Moon to try and kill KC. First talking with Lunar and scaring him off, ultimately cementing Lunar's decision to run away from home with Monty's help since he doesn't want to be around Sun or deal with Eclipse until things get better.

Moon finds out about Lunar's running away secondhand and struggles to bring himself to talk to Sun to stop him from wanting to kill Eclipse because he doesn't want for his brother to be like him in terms of killing people. But he puts it off for far too long because of being socially inept and goes to others for advice first.

When Moon finally does try to confront Sun as a projection and tells him how Lunar moved out, Sun at first brushes it off like it's not a big deal and ignores him before going on with his hunt for Eclipse. Claiming that he also felt no remorse for killing BloodMoon and didn't hear his voice in his head like Moon said he did with the people he killed.

As this is going on, Eclipse takes over Solar Flare's body.

Moon catches up to Sun in one of their bunkers and, after fighting again, traps him inside an invisible prison and leaves him there for his own good and to chill out. Which ends up being a bad idea as Sun begins to hallucinate BloodMoon who taunts and torments him (because he actually DOES feel remorse) until he screams and manages to shatter the magic barrier with his own emotion-fueled magic.

And thus Sun continues with his plan of hunting down Eclipse while Moon magically enters his own head with one of his computer AI's along for the ride to try and get rid of KC. Unaware of the fact his brother is free or how KC is just out and about talking and hanging around with everyone while masquerading as him and realizing that he DOESN'T WANT TO KILL PEOPLE ANYMORE.

KC just wants to live and appreciate life.

BUT THEN

The creator comes out of nowhere as KC is contemplating existence in the woods to reveal how he wasn't a glitch in Moon's code as he'd told them but an INTENDED FEATURE.

Moon was made to kill people, and KC not killing people was going against the Creator's grand scheme of punishing humanity. So he utilizes his control over Moon's body's programing to instill the desire to kill in KC again and sends him off.

But KC manages to resist and makes it back to the Daycare and hunkers down in Moon's room for the next few days.

Sun, as this is going on, finds the base Eclipse is in and confronts him. But things obviously don't go as planned and he is unable to kill him in the end. Instead, Sun lets out another explosive burst of energy while attempting to save himself and ultimately destroys Moon's magic pool, which the base was built on, trapping him in his own head.

AGAIN.

He learns this from Eclipse who sends him off to find Golden Freddy and then uses the opportunity to go and look for the Star again. He decides to pay a visit to Lunar and plant a bomb in his head to use him as a bargaining chip with Monty (cause Monty has been hiding the Star up to this point) since he has a soft spot for him.

But he only goes the Lunar bait route after first trying to threaten Moon's computer AI to send him to another dimension that has a Star so he can try and steal it (unaware another dimension's star won't work outside the one it exists in). And that gets him sent to meet Nice Eclipse who sees right through his disguise and laughs in his face over his stupidity and desperation.

Thus officially starting Eclipse's Pathetic Arc.

Sun, after getting a piece of Golden Freddy's soul to use magic, returns to the site of the magic pool where Moon's circle used to be and attempts to reconstruct the circle. However, BloodMoon begins tormenting him in the form of hallucinations again and he ends up messing up and is unable to restore it. Dooming Moon to be trapped in his head forever.

Sun begins to breakdown just as Earth (who had been wandering around on her way to the daycare the entire time after she was first sent to live with Sun and Moon cause she's a bit of an airhead) crosses his path and provides him with comfort and support as he cries.

The two of them then go back to the Daycare where KC, pretending to be Moon for Sun's sake, assures him things will be fine and tells Sun to go out and buy food for his cat since the autofeeder he had for it ran out while he was off on his murder quest (Davis has catS IRL and sometimes in videos you can hear meows and him talking to said cats so they just decided to make it that Sun owns a cat to explain it sldkjsldfk)

While Sun is gone, KC and Earth talk a bit. KC once again being moved by the kindness of strangers before retreating into Moon's room again to enter his own mind and talk with Moon.

As this is going on, Eclipse threatens to blow up Lunar if Monty doesn't hand over the Star.

And Monty does.

Though it was ultimately for nothing as Eclipse then blows up Lunar in front of Monty anyway.

One of Lunar's nanomachines managed to survive tho so Monty zip zap zooms to a space station where he can rebuild him. But Eclipse materializes out of the ether and threatens him to stay on earth so he goes back, leaving Lunar to be repaired slowly.

At some point after this, Monty beats up his old con artist ex-friend and resets his memories to make him into his friend again cause he's lost everything and has abandoned all hope at this point. And thus the Monty Gator and Foxy show is born. (Which is a whole other can of worms. One aspect being that Monty has a shitty BIRTH father so I just kinda ignore everything unless it connects back to the Sun and Moon Show)

Back in Moon's head, he and KC talk things out. And, upon realizing that KC has changed for the better, Moon can no longer bring himself to kill him as planned because he doesn't want to be responsible for killing another person as KC has proven himself to be. One capable of change like he had tried to convince Sun that BloodMoon might have been capable of had they been given the chance.

Which had been an argument he had made when first trying to talk Sun out of killing Eclipse.

But the only way for both him and KC to live at this point has a 98% chance of factory resetting Moon and deleting all his memories.

So, Moon records a message for Sun and gives it to KC to give to his brother.

And then Moon is ultimately reset.

In the middle of Sun coming to terms of Moon being reset and trying to bring New Moon up to speed on who he and Earth are; Eclipse shows up just to show off and gloat how he got the Star.

But New Moon, of course, doesn't remember who he is or what the Star does so he doesn't really care.

And Sun is just completely dead inside. Especially at the reveal of Lunar being dead (Sunny boy feeling the guilt of his last conversation with him).

So Eclipse doesn't really get much satisfaction from it.

And then Eclipse enacts his new plan for the world instead of completely resetting it:

Rewriting everyone's memories so that he's the good guy and Sun and Moon are the bad guys and occasionally zapping them to random dimensions just to make their lives hell because he literally has nothing else going for him in life.

Monty managed to avoid getting his memories rewritten from being in space trying to fix Lunar at the time he did it (this is before Eclipse threatened Monty) but has to pretend like they were for the time being.

So only Monty, Earth, and the boys know the truth of what happened.

And New Moon has to relearn everything by watching all the recorded footage from his and Sun's perspective over the past couple years because he never backed himself up like Eclipse did because of KC.

Surprisingly, a lot of the old Moon is still in New Moon. But New Moon is a hella lot more considerate and kinder than his pre-amnesia self. His and Sun's dynamic having completely shifted since his reset.

He also shows more symptoms of ADHD (What Moon himself says he has) than he did originally.

As Sun and New Moon are busy picking up the pieces of the mess Eclipse made and figuring out what to do with him (and with Sun STILL VERY MUCH HALLUCINATING AND SUICIDAL AT THIS POINT BECAUSE OF EVERYTHING WITH ECLIPSE AND LUNAR AND THE LOSS OF OLD MOON), Eclipse is slowly killing himself the more he uses the star with no other plan or intention to do anything substantial with it other than making sure people still like him and making Sun and New Moon suffer because of his abandonment issues.

Eclipse legit gets mad when he appears in their room (likely intending to mock them when they return from a trip he sent them on) where he ends up encountering Earth who tries to talk to him about his feelings and psychoanalyze him.

Dude has no real plan anymore and legit considered recruiting Freddy and Toy Chica's fucking baby but got scared off by Mimic telling him it would anger Golden Freddy.

At some point, Monty also finally meets Earth and they start dating.

Which New Moon wants to punch Monty over when he finds out.

Cause this literally happens not long after they finally interact again for the first time in months since his reset. Mostly because Monty didn't ask for his and Sun's blessing first cause THAT'S THEIR SISTER.

Also New Moon and Monty became fast friends all over again. And Monty let the boys know that Lunar was still alive. He's just still in space because Puppet (THE Puppet) is supposed to retrieve him but hasn't yet.

While attempting to find out how to stop Eclipse, New Moon manages to somehow get connected to a camera in their creator's base where he and Sun learn he is just a GIANT FLOATING BRAIN along with how he's using them as a scapegoat for his greater plans.

But Sun leaves the room as New Moon learns that, in addition to that, Earth is being used as an unwitting pawn to upload incriminating files into Fazbear Entertainment's database.

Still deeming Eclipse the bigger threat at the moment, even after Sun blows up at him over how he has nothing and is pathetic the last time he tried to mess with them since getting the Star, New Moon goes to the dimension with the nice Eclipse and they discover the code that Solar Flare (who is still alive and pulling the same shit Eclipse did to Sun with refusing to be removed so Eclipse can't get himself a better body that can handle the Star's power basically all: "We die together bitch") had given him to get rid of him. And upon learning that Lunar was killed by our Eclipse, nice Eclipse agrees to help and sacrifice himself (since it would kill him too once they lure Eclipse to his dimension) on the condition that New Moon helps to repair his Sun and Moon when he's gone.

Also Monty in Nice Eclipse's dimenstion is British is basically Elon Musk.

That point really isn't important other than the jokes about New Moon and Nice Eclipse hating him but I had no idea how else to include it.

New Moon then travels to Nice Eclipse's dimension again after gathering materials to begin building the satellite that will broadcast the code to kill Eclipse (which will take him a month in Nice Eclipse's dimenstion but will only really be a week in our time). And Sun, in his current mental state, is also composing his own plans to get rid of Eclipse just in case it doesn't work out cause he wants to protect his brother and not have him sacrifice himself again.

Said plan involves creating another Star to fight him with. And findinge KC (who got his own body and is currently out exploring) cause he might have Moon's memories that would be of help.

Also Ruin DLC!Eclipse had shown up at some point via portal and is now just running around causing havoc by just existing.

He punched New Moon in the face.

And then New Moon trapped him in a karaoke booth.

But then Freddy went and let him out thinking he was saving an innocent person and now the dude ALSO wants the Star.

Ruin!Eclipse vs. Wet Dorite Eclipse when?

Upon New Moon's return to their dimension, Sun shares his plans and what he heard from Golden Freddy. New Moon hears him out but explains how that might not work but is willing to give it a shot to some extent.

But they still have to find KC first.

Which ends up being rather easy cause the dude is just going around working in soup kitchens and the like despite living off the grid.

KC explains the options that Sun and New Moon have. One of which is one of them becoming a conduit for Star energy to fight Eclipse.

However, that might kill whoever does it.

When New Moon returns to Sun he explains KC is going to stop by after they've discus and decide what it is they're going to do. But before that, Hatsune Miky (yes, I'm not kidding) appears out of nowhere and has apparently been stalking them and is one of those crazy fans who hates and blames everything that's happened in the show thus far on Sun.

Sun, who may I remind, is VERY MENTALLY NOT OKAY AND WANTS TO DIE.

At the same time this is happening, Eclipse begins plan: "Instil False Hope".

Which is just going to Earth and Gaslight Gatekeep Girlbossing her.

Though not until after encountering Puppet and trying to recruit him to his side first. But he only succeeds in making himself mad because Puppet is such a GODDAMN WEEB.

Anyway, he attempts to manipulate Earth by saying he's INCREDIBLY sorry and wants to change.

But he does it SOOOO unconvincingly and while underestimating Earth's intelligence just because she insists on being kind to him. Constantly, and not so subtly, insulting her the whole time that she's able to see right through his bull and calls him out on it. Especially when he brings up how Sun (before it was known Eclipse or BloodMoon existed and were in control of him) killed kids along with Old Moon.

She points out that if he really wanted to change, he wouldn't tell her something like that. And after her patience is tried, she tells him she's being far kinder to him than he deserves and that he doesn't really want to change or be helped. He's just pathetic and wants to make everyone as miserable as he is.

Earth then decides she and her brothers have to talk cause she doesn't know who's telling the truth anymore after Eclipse tells her to go fuck herself and, failing to teleport away, walks off.

[starlit-hopes-and-dreams]

Happy STS! I'm curious about Shattered Dreams, since I still don't know too much about it and you say it's your first major piece of writing! How would you say it differs from Hidden Depths, and how is it similar? Is there anything you learned in the course of writing and posting Hidden Depths that's informing the other WIP as you now revise/edit/continue writing? Anything you're enjoying more, or enjoying less? Anything else interesting you can tell us?

Happy STS! Thank you for the ask, Claire!

Oooh, what a fun question! First off, I'm not sure if you've seen my WIP intro, but if not, there it is :)

Okay, this is long, so under the cut it goes lol

Differences and Similarities

So Hidden Depths is set in the same world of Shattered Dreams, approximately 5-ish years prior to the events in the novel. I use the same third person, character-centric style of writing, I've centered my story around two characters, which seems to be a sweet spot for me, and it's still essentially a love story at its core. They are both captivity stories that deal heavily with trauma and recovery from trauma.

Shattered Dreams differs in that I had the time and space for a lot more worldbuilding and complex plotting than I did in Hidden Depths. Now, did I do it well? Meh, going through on this editing pass, I'm noticing more info-dumping than I'd like, so I'm cleaning that up.

Hidden Depths I didn't have that kind of time for. Maybe if I'd started writing more than 3 days before the start of the event, but uh. I didn't. So I started in media res, which I actually ended up liking quite a bit, and I learned a new writing technique!

It also differs in that with Shattered Dreams, I was trying to write the kind of love story I wished I was capable of and where physical affection was important and sought after (I literally made physical touch a basic need for an entire species-they can't go too long without or they'll go crazy lol).

Whereas with Hidden Depths, I wrote the kind of love story more true to my recently discovered aroace-self. It's still an idealization, of course, with an over exaggeration of certain characteristics, but it's been really nice and somewhat cathartic to write.

Learning

Ahh, the learning. Well, the more you write, the better you get, right? So there was that. I could tell writing Hidden Depths that I'd improved beyond what I'd written in Shattered Dreams, which was a really cool thing for me. It made me feel really proud. (and kinda embarrassed when I reread Shattered Dreams bc I'd sent it out for beta 😅)

I definitely learned a lot more about whump writing, and you can bet that I'm using that in my edits to flesh out scenes that were rather vague (or create new ones all together!) bc I was either afraid of the response or just didn't have the depth of knowledge to really do it justice.

I learned that just because I can write explicit sexy time scenes doesn't mean I have to :D especially if they already made me uncomfy to start. Basically I toned them down, because I didn't hold anything back the first go around lol. Maybe they can be bonus scenes so all my hard work doesn't go to waste XD

Just by being here on tumblr, I've learned a lot more about queer and disabled representation, which is not something that I had a lot of exposure to before. I am definitely going to implementing some of that knowledge in Shattered Dreams if I can!

Interesting stuff

Ummm. This has gotten pretty long already lol. Let's see... Alaia and Serin, the two main protagonists, were never meant to be together; he was just a side character I made bc captivity with one character is boring as hell. Well, that went to shit, he ended up as a POV character, and now has an entire character arc I have to write lol. The way these things happen, huh lol.

[tteokdoroki]

had it | k.bakugou.

♡ pairing: katsuki bakugou x fem!reader.

♡ word count: 4.5K

♡ rating: everyone.

♡ genre: pro hero!au, married!au, fluff, comfort.

♡ summary: your pro hero husband is a show off, always has and always will be... but when his big ego gets in the way of you doing your job, you give him little piece of your mind..

♡ warning(s): please read ! mentions of violence, i gave reader a quirk?? bakugou with a daughter ok literally nothing. oh and angst if you squint.

♡ author’s note(s):  hi besties!! happy birthday to meee!! today i’m dropping a fic that’s been a long time coming, its a short and fluffy little piece with domestic baku bc i love him with babies n kids ok ok!! i hope you all have a lovely day <3

♡ masterlist | requests | kofi

some say that working for a pro hero is an honour, no matter what the position is. some may work behind the scenes— creating gear and suits that support the pros protecting their cities or livelihoods. others are in charge of things like reports, PR and even physical health. everyone plays an important role in a hero's career. there’s never a dull moment working in a team supporting the pros, especially if that pro was dynamight.

the offices for katsuki bakugou’s hero agency were always buzzing; usually because the clean up team were rushing through with stacks upon stacks of receipts and paperwork from the damage done during bakugou’s patrols— other times it would be his secretaries gossiping about how good he looks in his winter costume because damn did that tight black shirt do his arms justice but usually it was just because of the PR team contacting media outlets with excuses for bakugou’s potty mouth.

working for the hot headed blonde was more laid back than it seemed however, the man himself was rarely ever in the office as the number two hero but out on missions instead, the pay was pretty decent and no one ever really faced his angry wrath nor his sailor like mouth unless they had royally fucked up on their job. katsuki bakugou was someone to admire, he never gave a damn about what people had to say about him— he only cared about getting the job done and maybe that’s why most people enjoyed their time under the dynamight agency.

particularly this time, right around noon.

the doors to the floor of the secretary offices fly open, crashing loudly against the walls and drawing the staff from their daily work. this office space is around ten floors up and somehow you’ve made it in record time today. “where is he?” your voice crawls through the entrance of the room, settling over the workers like a thick fog— commanding, menacing and soft all at the same time. newbies cower in their boots, confused at what’s going on and it’s safe to presume those who have been working here for years have yet to give them the run down. “don’t make me ask again.” you add, eyes darkening as you cast your gaze across the room.

an intern approaches you, visibly shaking with fear which makes you loosen your stance and raise an eyebrow toward them. “he-uh... he just went for his lunch break—“ the stutter, gulping under the stare of another highly ranked pro hero. “in his...office— ma’am!” they stumble through their words, hiding behind the ungodly amount of paperwork that's been dumped into their hands. you make a mental note to chew bakugou out on the load his interns have been getting as well as your prior reasons for coming to his agency.

nonetheless you shake your head and drop the frown, a sweet smile quickly replacing the look that could put anyone six feet under if you really tried. with a tap to the side of your head, the visor to your hero costume rises above your eyes— allowing you to give the poor little intern a cheeky wink as thanks. “‘ppreciate it darling, have a good one!” you thank them properly with a ruffle to their hair, resuming your previous stance as you march the rest of the way through the office and kick open the door at the end of the room.

the intern sags, a whimper of relief passing from tired lips while they wipe at the sweat forming on their brow. they’d not even encountered their boss yet and they’d already come face to face with a top pro hero. “w-what’s her deal?”

a chuckle to the left of the poor kid startles them out of their mind; but they relax upon realising it’s just another one of dynamight’s secretaries— haruto, who’d apparently been working at the agency since it started up. “that’s nightsky, her quirk is lullaby, which allows her to control certain people if she hits the right note. she can also put them to sleep, if she really wants to,” the intern now perks up, remembering you from countless interviews on tv. you ranked pretty highly too, managing to the reach the top five this year along with others like shoto and deku. “she owns the hero agency across the street, herself and dynamight have been going at it ever since. it’s like they’re elderly lovers or somethin‘.”

“d-do you think they are? lovers like you say?” the intern asks a little too excitedly, touching at their messy hair from where you’d ruffled it. a crimson blush warms their cheeks, the idea of two pros playing enemies to the public eye but being lovers in secret seemed like something right out of a romance novel. how romantic.

haruto only chuckles at the newbie, standing to ruffle their hair as well before heading over to the coffee stand to fix himself a cup. “beats me,” he mumbles cheerily as he walks away, arms crossed behind his head. “but with the way yn bursts in here at the same time everyday to scold bakugou, and leaves with a huge smile on her face— i wouldn’t put it past them. they probably have a whole life together.” he taps his nose once as if he’s given away too much information, turning away without a word.

the intern hums, seemingly happy with their superior’s answer and easily heads back to work from there.

katsuki bakugou was bored out of his mind.

being a successful pro hero was all he’d ever wanted— being the number two pro hero just came with that. bakugou wanted to get to the top and show everyone he was the best of the best and with him being blessed with a powerful quirk there was no way he couldn’t be where he was today. yet, now that he’d finally achieved his dream all he wanted was a fucking break. the blonde stares down at his microwaveable bowl of home cooked stew, a frown cutting deep into his cheeks. it was his lunch break for crying out loud, but instead of scarfing down the delicious meal before him, the hero was forced to watch it cool as some dumb fuck reporter asked him questions over the phone.

the telephone interview ( or a waste of his fucking time, as katsuki had called it ) , had been set up by his PR team right after he’d taken down a couple low level villains downtown earlier this morning. katsuki had called it nothing but apparently the whole world and their mother had been on his ass, watching as he took the criminals down with ease and raving about how glorious dynamight was during that fight. the reporter drones on about said event, asking the same old questions and it takes everything within the hot headed pro not to blow a casket— he’d been promised a few extra days off from his manager if he could finish the interview without blowing something up and only god knew how much katsuki needed a break from dumb paps and some overly obsessive fans.

‘so, final question, how does it feel to be the number two?’

bakugou grunts, buying himself time to formulate an answer. what he really wants to do is kindly tell the reporter to fuck off and ask more original questions; but with the prize of a longer weekend hanging in the balance he bites his tongue for the sake of freedom. “well i—“

“katsuki bakugou.” your voice cuts through his sentence before he can finish, vermillion eyes land on your hero costume clad form as you burst into his office. a lazy smirk now decorates the hero’s lips, brow quirked with piqued interest. “i have a bone to pick with you, you motherfucker.”

the reporter on the other end falls silent as katsuki watches you, leaning back in his plush leather chair. you look slightly disheveled, costume torn in a few places, scrapes littering your skin as you pant heavily from exertion— chest rising and falling with every breath, it seems ragged and bakugou makes a mental note to remind you to get your ribs checked out later. “you’re late, shitty woman.” the number two sits up a little straighter as you enter the room, leaning up to look at you while you slam your hands down on the smooth marble desk— the force rattling the items he has neatly placed on it.

‘uh-? mister...dynamight-? sir?’

your eyes sweep the room while the pro before you deals with the reporter, mentioning to her that they’ll have to continue their call later. in the meantime, you note that katsuki’s office is meticulously clean, not a single book, folder or pen out of place— it’s high up with a perfect view of the city and the large windows allow golden beams of the sun to light up the room. the sound of a phone being placed back on its hook brings you from your thoughts; annoyance settling deep in your veins as you turn to face bakugou again.

“i had it,” you growl lowly, jumping the gun before he can even register what you’ve said. “i’m a grown woman, katsuki, i can handle a couple of criminals myself, you know.”

the blasting hero does nothing but smirk even wider at the irked tone that litters your voice, standing up as well to tower over you. bakugou still wears his own hero costume, considerably in less damage than yours— not a single tear had formed in his suit, mind the small scratches on his face no doubt from his stupid explosions creating some debris. leaning over the desk between you, bakugou uses a forefinger and thumb to tilt your head up, bringing you even closer than before. “clearly y’didn’t sweetheart, or otherwise that icyhot bastard wouldn’t have needed to back you up ‘fore i got there...” his timbre voice sends sparks of electricity through the air in the room, it’s low and gravelly which is enough to send shivers down your spine but you’re not about to let katsuki bakugou know that he makes you flustered— it’d go straight to his head, the cocky bastard.

nonetheless; you roll your eyes at the mention of your old classmate and fellow pro hero— shoto todoroki. yourself and shoto got along fairly well, even back in high school, so it was normal for you to work together from time to time; you both made a great team and your skill set complimented each other’s well. katsuki was just jealous. he never really got along with todoroki like that. “he didn’t back me up, we were working together,” you snap back at the blonde, shaking yourself from bakugou’s grasp and flicking him right between those alluring vermillion eyes. “something you might not be familiar with, mister number two.” bakugou backs away from you completely ( only wincing slightly ), making you smirk in victory. you’ve struck a nerve. deciding to leave the conversation at that, you turn to make your exit as he collapses back into his seat with a deathly scowl and a quiet ‘tch’. “like i said, i had it, dynamight. next time, don’t jump in uninvited.”

happy that you got the last laugh, you open the door to leave his office but pause when a wave of heat hits your back. you should have known, katsuki bakugou was never one to back down from a challenge and you certainly weren’t an exception. well shit. when you turn around to face the blonde, small explosions spark from his right hand and he has some what of a look of a feral pomeranian, blood red eyes full of rage.

you visibly gulp and katsuki growls out his next words with the upmost venom, designed to hurt and cut at your feelings. “well maybe y’sudda let the actual pros handle shit like this,” bakugou begins, voice rising in volume with every syllable that passes his lips. “we both know you’re no good at short distance attacks with your quirk, shitty woman, you couldn’t have taken those villains down without me.” the blonde finishes with a short ‘tsk’, settling the explosions that spark in his palms. now it’s your turn to be pissed. you could handle katsuki’s jealousy, his petty reasoning for joining you on your patrol and taking the credit but bashing you and your quirk? no way in hell would he get away with that.

“bakugou?”

“what? the fuck y’still here for?”

you roll your shoulders, gracing the blonde with a devilish smile as your eyes light up mischievously. “why are you hitting yourself, bakugou?” you sing, hitting just the right notes that will have him under your spell, the tone in your voice as smooth as chocolate. katsuki’s eyes widen in horror and before he can stop himself, his free hand comes up to slap him across the face. that was your quirk, lullaby. you had the ability to sing your way out of any situation— adjusting the tune of your song to control the actions of certain individuals or groups of people. it was near impossible to resist but the more people you used your quirk on, the weaker your control over them was. that doesn’t mean you weren’t going to use it on bakugou from time to time. the blonde tries to fight it, he really does, but he’s no use up against your ability— losing all control of his own body. he grunts on impact, looking bewildered for a moment as he moves to grab his own wrist to stop any impending blows. “not so cocky now, are we dynamight?”

“h-hey!” he stammers, refusing to accept defeat against you. “shitty woman, no fuckin’ fair. you know i can’t use my quirk against you in here.” he was right, while your quirk was poor against short distance attacks ( meaning you had to result to hand to hand combat ), bakugou couldn’t use his own in enclosed spaces without hurting anyone he didn’t want to. especially you, he would never hurt you intentionally unless you were sparring.

“shoulda thought about that before you decided to taunt me, you know better than to piss off your wife, katsu.” you chide, still smiling just as brightly as you were earlier, before taking a seat on his desk and folding one leg over the other. it was quite amusing to watch your husband of four years fight against himself— everyone knew katsuki had an unbelievable amount of strength even without his quirk so he was definitely beating himself up ( literally and figuratively ).

bakugou looks up at you through gritted teeth while he struggles to keep the wrist you have control of down and you almost feel bad for the guy. “turn it off, dammit!” he curses at you, said hand rising above his free one to tug at his own sun kissed locks.

feigning interest in the objects on your lover's desk, you ignore his pleas for you to release him from the holds of your quirk and hum “apologise.”

“f-fuck... fuck y-you.”

you sigh knowingly, picking up a hand crafted paperweight, covered in glitter and sequin stars,  inspecting it carefully. bakugou could hardly ever say the word ‘sorry’, it was just in his nature and he’d been that way since you were young. part of you knows it’s because of how he was treated as a child where people praised him for his quirk. that meant he became prideful yes, thought highly of himself too and struggled to admit when others were right...but he had his own way of apologising— through actions instead of words.

like when you first moved in together and he had broken your favourite mug, instead of saying he was sorry, he spent all night super glueing it back together for you to use in the morning. to him, actions were louder than words but you right now; you were being mean and just wanted to hear him say it.

“fuck fuck, fine. alright. ‘m sorry.” bakugou lets out a strained growl as the hand you control gives a particularly hard yank to his hair. “i’m sorry for lying about your quirk. it’s not shitty…’n ‘m sorry for... barging in on your patrol. again.” you grin, satisfied with his answer and grab the hand he keeps down with his wrist. you press a simple kiss to the skin, making your husband blush as you release your hold over the limb. katsuki shyly yanks it from your grip, rubbing over the area that you’d kissed, shooting his gaze to the side in the process. “jesus shitty woman, if i don’t die from being a hero or of old fucking age, i know for a fact you’ll be the one to kill me first.” he mutters harshly under his breath, but you know he’s only kidding from the way his hands now fall to your thighs and his fingers rub small circles into the exposed skin.

“pro hero nightsky murders number two pro hero dynamight in cold blood!” you joke as if you’re reading a headline in a news article, katsuki only glares up at you— making no effort to curse you out because of your shitty joke, which causes you to frown while leaning  forward to brush some of his hair away from his face. “you know i’m only kidding right? is something wrong? did i come at a bad time?”

it’s only now that you notice the exhausted expression that paints your lover’s face. he’s always up to playing this game with you, at the same time every day— you come to bother him about some trivial matter, tease him a bit and leave with a kiss. but today, you can tell he’s trying to hide something from you. something that bothers him.

bakugou shakes his head, leaning into your touch as you play with his hair— a habit he’d picked up from even before you started dating back in high school, although he’d never admit that to you if you’d asked. “nothin’, just this stupid fuckin’ interview the PR team want me to do about the fight today. the one i took from you,” your husband smirks slightly at the thought and you roll your eyes for what seems like the nine hundredth time that afternoon. “didn’t get to finish my fuckin’ lunch but they promised me a couple days off if i got the interview done.”

“better the number two than me, eh? but don’t worry, i’ll order us some take out tonight,” your suggest, voice coming out as soft and mingling with your slight giggle— a quiet melody to katsuki’s ears. your only reply from him is a grunt, so you stop your fingers in his hair and watch as he scowls up at you. you quickly press a kiss to the explosive hero’s lips, pulling away to reveal his blushing face. you smile, knowing that you’re the only one who can make him flush red like that. “there’s something else bothering you, isn’t there?”

if there’s one thing katsuki bakugou hates, it’s how you read him like an open book. one look at him and it’s like you know exactly how he’s feeling. he can never hide anything from you— sometimes that both pisses him off and reminds him of how much he is loved by you. he hesitates with his words at first but decides to confide in you anyway, knowing that you’ll get it out of him in one way or another. “‘m worried about you, dumbass.” he mumbles, nudging your hand with his head as if to ask you to continue your earlier actions. “i know you had it, yer fuckin’ powerful but you looked so tired in that fight today ‘n i thought something bad was gonna happen to you, y’fuckin’ shitty woman.”

he toys with the tears in your costume now, smoothing over scars from your bumps and scratches as a result of combat. “oh lovebug,” you mumble, cupping his cheeks to make him look up at you. “you know i can handle my own, they just took a lot out of me today. i promise i’ll—“

“that’s not it, fuck,” katsuki cuts you off, brows furrowing deeply as he grabs your wrists— pulling your from his desk and into his lap. he holds you close, burying his nose into your neck as if you’re going to disappear. you sit still, a little shocked by his actions and his quick change of mood, but wrap your arms around him anyway and slowly fall silent. “it's just that...we’re both pros now and at the top of our ranks ‘n we both have a lot to lose.” you instinctively cling tighter to katsuki, mind flickering to the homemade paperweight you’d spotted on his desk earlier... causing your heart clench.

your daughter had made that for him during her time at preschool for fathers day; something your husband cherished with his whole heart, even if the thing was still sticky with glue when he’d gotten it.

katsuki loved taiga more than anything in the world and if something had happened to her because of your line of work, you don’t know what either of you would do. “what if something were to happen to you? or to me? or shit...both of us? who would look after taiga? you know what happens to kids who end up in the fucking system.” bakugou pauses, the same tired expression from earlier now sitting heavily on his face. “i just want you to be careful, stop pushing yourself so much, y’fuckin’ dumbasss. we have a family take care of. it’s not just you and i anymore.”

you nod, grasping onto your lover’s clothes tightly. the air is flooded with a comfortable silence, the pair of you holding one another right the way through it. you treasure moments like this, where the world stops and katsuki shows you another, more vulnerable side to him.

he would never admit or show this to anyone; but he cares , more than he lets on... especially for you and especially for your daughter. he was attentive, paid attention to you and your weaknesses and helped you overcome them. it was something you couldn’t stop loving about him. “i promise to be more careful, for you and for taiga,” you say quietly after he’s done scolding you, brushing your lips against the side of his head in a soft peck. “that must’ve been why jumped in earlier, you were worried about me?”

“somethin’ like that, you crazy woman,,” bakugou whispers, there’s a tinge of fondness to his ruby eyes as you pull away to look at him, his hands settling on your hips while he moves up to press a soft kiss to your awaiting lips. “didn’t want you getting yourself killed.”

you stay with katsuki in the office for a little longer than usual, laying on his chest as he prattles away about everything and anything even though he should be working. you make sure he eats his lunch, despite how cold it is and promise him a boat load of take out when he comes home later— your sweet cuddling session only being cut short by a call from your assistant to tell you that your daughter is ready to be picked up from school. “better finish that interview katsu, taiga’ll be happy to know her daddy’s getting some time off to spend with her soon,” you remind him as you gather yourself together, your husband pouting ( he swears on his life he wasn’t ) from the loss of your warmth in his lap. “she has a lot to tell you.”

the blonde quirks a brow, watching you as you head for the door. “yeah? like what?” a hand comes up to cover your mouth as you giggle at his curious face. sometimes, when you look at katsuki, you could see how much your daughter resembles him, right down to his mannerisms. she had somehow inherited the shape of your nose and the brightness of your smile ( the only reason barely anyone realised bakugou had a kid, he never fucking smiled. ) but the bakugou genes were incredibly strong so there was no way she’d miss out on those crimson eyes and uncontrollable, untameable messy blonde hair.

she even acted like him. a very brazen little girl who knew what she wanted and how to get it, so she had her daddy wrapped around her stubby little fingers.

you grin, eyes sparkling with the same mischief as before. “oh y’know, just her little crush on midoriya’s boy.”

“yer fuckin’ kiddin’ me.”

“i would never joke about such a thing,  just make sure you’re home in time for dinner, number two!” you squeal, dashing out of the office before your husband has time to demand more answers from you. slamming the door shut, you chuckle at the melody of curses that leave your husbands mouth before heading off to pick up your daughter.

on your way, you admit to yourself , that maybe you didn’t have this fight in the bag. but what you did have; was a loving husband, a beautiful daughter and the best life you could have ever imagined.

extended ending:

“so, taiga... daddy hears you have a little... crush on someone.”

you’re in the kitchen, washing the dishes from tonight’s dinner as bakugou wipes tentatively at your little girl’s messy face— she was a poor eater but it’s something you didn’t mind, not when your husband was so soft with cleaning her up. you can see them from where you stand, watching katsuki knowingly.

taiga looks up from the colouring you’d set out for her when she finished up her meal, crimson eyes shining brightly as she fixes her gaze on her father. “mhm mhm!! he’s mister deku’s son! and i’m gonna marry him!”

“no yer not.” bakugou answers simply, looking close to popping a vein.

“why not?”

your husband scoffs, throwing away the tissue he’d used to clean his little girl up before joining her in her colouring. “‘cause daddy says so ‘n boys are gross, especially ones who’s dad’s look like broccoli.” the older ash blonde seems satisfied with his answer, grinning to himself as you dry the dishes with an amused smile.

but taiga isn’t finished, swapping her green crayon for a red one to finish up her drawing. “but you’re a boy...and mommy still married you!”

bakugou pauses, lost for words as taiga continues to colour— humming the theme song from a commercial for some of deku’s merch. you can tell it’s taking everything katsuki’s got not to combust right there on the spot, but he can’t stay mad at taiga for too long, not when she’s describing her wedding and how her daddy is going to walk her down the isle.

setting the dishes to dry and towelling your hands; you smile to yourself as you admire your family. some would say you had it all, and looking at the pair of bakugou’s now, who were you to deny the truth.

[tofumedic]

general relationship hcs with the brothers!!

summary// how i interpret how they love you(gn! mc)

Lucifer

he gets softer, he tries not to show it in public or anywhere with peeping brothers trying to get dirt on his image

but he unwinds, theres tension in his shoulders and stance completely but you look at him and he just goes "ah. nice."

he definitely covers it up by correcting his posture and with a small cough but satan just gives him a look

he holds less venom until the problem children of the house make new big trouble

he requests you to join him in his study only when hes certain that you aren't busy or dealing with RAD work he feels bad interrupting

is secretly proud of himself for not bothering you

anyways likes inviting you to listen to his records with him and if you ask or are feeling bad will let you pick one of the records he bought you

if you have a favorite of his own he will play it consistently he memorizes the grooves of that vinyl

he hums it to get your attention just to catch your eyes y'know? small things like that keep him going until he's not as busy

Mammon

he's always at your rescue, trying to be close by like a support dog he wants to make sure youre feeling okay

loves answering questions for you but plays it off as an annoyance he wants you to not think he's as dumb as his brothers say

leaves little pieces of himself with you, jackets of his in your room, has a copy of his bathroom stuff sharing counter and shower space with yours

he doesn't mean to in a bad way but he snoops, looking for a shirt that would look totally super good on him why would you own whats clearly his huh? just wants to be reminded of you

he takes in as much as he can, his eyes dart over everything in your room learning its place for different items, piecing together how things are you

it affects his greed bc now he picks up stuff that reminds him of you even simple stuff like you mentioned you needed a shelf? -oh god be damned he bought a set of them in your favorite color because they were on his mind

learns your mannerisms, has a major thing about mirroring you. he even starts laughing a bit more like you when your gone like he's filling your space

Leviathan

MC would you pretty please match icons with me *the pointy finger emotes*

adores finding characters that act like you and ones that act like him, it makes him ship pairings he may have not cared for previously bc subconsciously... those are you two

he would change your contact to henry with one of the cute face emoticons and some hearts but if someone like his brothers see it and mention it its just "mc normie 🧍‍♂️" for like a week during his recovery

he just wants to share what he likes with you!!!

he gets trusting with you believing you're safe to know about his interests and will info dump to you about his hyperfixations

and he equally wants to know about yours even if he already knows he will ask you questions to get you to share more and it makes him so happy he just melts at hearing you happy

and the fact it's just a special thing between you two? he's over the moon its such a flex that when his brothers try to steal you away they are too confused like you two are talking in code

Satan

he loves sharing space with you

as in he likes your company but he also likes that he can still read while you do something else because he gets to enjoy you and his studies of the moment

even if he doesn't share them depending on if he's ready to if it's really personal or for an event, he will write about you

sometimes they're poems, usually free-form unless hes feeling in a certain mood mainly so he doesn't have to worry about not using words he feels suit you but don't fit his rhythm scheme. sometimes they're full stories just rushed writings until he's not as full of love that its so overwhelming

this means its rushed with pen smearing from his hand having rested on the paper, words slanted and becoming cursive in order for his speed to be faster, he always writes in one sitting or will lose the motivation but its always based on you and how he feels about you that are his best pieces

you're his muse and shows it in how even if he's less physically attentive he does start to push into your small affections like holding his face or holding his hand, he leans into you like a cat taking a nap in the sun

Asmodeus

he asks you for your favorite kinds of affection, your least favorites, requests you all time, he wants to make you the most pleased the most comfortable so you enjoy the attention as much as he does

he also likes matching with you but in the way of clothes or doing your hair to match his or making kandi bracelets that have each other names or him wearing lipstick and you wearing a colored kiss pressed in sweet visible places. anywhere on your face is free game

he's a spot thief if anyone leaves you alone for a moment he's soaking up the attention, a hard believer of finders keepers. he likes filling spots he wants to help you feel complete, he wants to be there for you

real full love is hard for him, it's hard to believe in but after forming the pact he comes to terms that it's not just infatuation

talks with him will become more personal and deep instead talking about his brothers or just gossip to keep you updated though you of course still get it but its not a shield anymore if he's gonna be... bare with you he will do it fully

he starts saving objects like glass drink bottles or tickets or receipts from cute cafes, he loves photos especially of you but also of date scenery, of you with him even if its just your hands or your legs pressed against his while sitting. he likes the proof that you're real that you like him for real

Beelzebub

he makes sure you eat but only if you want to! humans eat so little are you sure you don't want dessert with him? you can share he can get an extra spoon

he tries to keep you safe even from yourself, he might be a little slow but he learns your tells if you give him time you chased off his nightmares so he has to do the same you deserve it

he enjoys simple intimacy like hugs and holding hands and stuff like that just for reminders but he also likes bumping into you just lightly he doesn't want you to fall but if you take an extra step after he has a small smile, rubbing against you with his head if his mouth is full or if talking is tough

will add some of your favorite foods to a list of his favorites because you're his favorite! he will also recommend stuff close to your favorites he looks out for them

he's another that enjoys your company going to you or a space thats full of you like your room just makes him feel more at ease, it's not uncommon for him to subconsciously just follow a few feet behind you while you're moving around

(this also leads to a slower set of footsteps following at an even further distance, its belphie following his mobile heating pads for sleeping if he could be bothered enough)

Belphegor

he's your new weighted blanket and youre the pillow it's a whole set, his complaints light hearted about his pillow moving so much when you give him small head pets

he includes you in schemes with satan deciding not to hide the truth like you again originally trying to make up his apology through his actions

he's very smart! he's fast on learning on how you're feeling depending on your body language or if he put his elbow in a bad spot while laying down

now know when asmo said that he(belphie) has the greatest smile you get that for free! sometimes you do have to pay the toll in naps or just pillowing him or doing something to make beel smile

his love is his trust, it's your trust, its proving himself not only to you but to his brothers and himself. you deserve the best and so he has to be that. his love is learning thats he's already earned yours in his regret and his growth

[trashpits]

well its time to info dump about all the bruno/me au ideas i’ve had. for this i will just be using y/n in place of me though bc its just easier that way for me

some are wayyy more fleshed out than others. and i apologize for any typos i dont wanna fix em bc too much reading gives me a migraine. also im horrible at writing. i just..... say ideas. i just be saying shit

but i will start with the disneyland one. so the premise for all my disney land aus is that its a modern au where everyone just works there.  i have never worked there so i dont know all the ins and outs of it. SO it’s probably not for you if you HAVE worked there. but basically bruno works as a butler at the haunted mansion. he fits in really well bc he just looks so dead all the time and he just really plays up the part for the kids when appropriate. y/n is a new hire at the mansion and bruno is your trainer. there isnt much more to it besides falling slowly in love at disneyland and mutual pining and cliche romantic moments. its completely self indulgent bc disneyland is my fav place lmao

--

THEN there is the art teacher one. its also pretty cliche and basic. so y/n is mirabel’s high school art teacher and she adores you and always makes such fun and colorful pieces and is excited to turn them in or get your opinion on things. she looks up to you a lot. idk if you have had like a chill friend teacher, but my art teacher was like that for me and so thats what i was inspired by.

 there is an open house but julieta and agustín cant make it for one reason or another. probably work. so bruno volunteers to go instead. (pepa and félix also offered but they also have to visit all of camilo’s classrooms as well and it wouldnt be enough time. i feel like camilo would be like “nah its fine you dont have to go” but his parents want to see all his work and be so proud of him and all that.)

but anyway once they get to your classroom mirabel is excitedly showing bruno which pieces are hers and where she works and stuff. youre talking to other parents and notice them scurrying around so once youre done with the family, you head over to them. you see so much potential in mirabel and have been wanting to talk to her parents about maybe looking into some college level art classes for her because she has shown so much interest in learning more but you dont have the proper tools or space to do so. mirabel gets distracted talking to one of her classmates so that just leaves you and bruno to talk which is fine. thats kinda what you wanted. you go over and introduce yourself and once he turns and does the same, you are immediately flustered. you find him quite handsome which throws you off your rhythm. he only introduces himself as “bruno madrigal” so you just assume that he’s her father. you awkwardly just immediately dive into your spiel about how you think mirabel could benefit from other classes, refusing to look him in the eye. he just nods along, seeming to agree with your words, which is a positive sign.

not to far in mirabel pops her head in and is like “oh! Mx. y/n! i see you’ve already met my uncle.”

"o-oh! he’s not- you’re not her father?”

“no no no, things came up last minute for julieta and agustín, so i’m here to make sure mirabel is doing all her work. i know she can be a handful.” he chuckles and playfully nudges mira.

“oh i’m sorry i didn’t mean to dump all that information on you. if i knew i-”

“no you’re totally fine, i completely agree. i think...”

and you both are kinda awkward messes trying to explain yourselves and how much you both think mirabel is super talented and stuff. i’m not the best writer, but the conversation would kinda trail off and you both would have that quiet moment where you just stare at each other. the mutual attraction admire stare. and then the flustered break away. asdjkfhaskjdha im blushing thinking about it i hate myself.

it would take mirabel all of two seconds to realize what exactly is going on here. and she would make it her mission to try and set the two of you up. or at least urge you guys to talk more. find ways to get it to happen. you both obviously have this attraction at first sight type of thing.

but yeah thats!!!!!!!! the basis of that.

--

ALL my ideas are super basic i feel lmao. but the coffee shop one. i basically already explained everything i had for that. bruno is a screen play writer who writes under a pen name so no one knows its him. he doesn’t really enjoy interacting with people (he feels like hes terrible at it. also anxiety. which y/n later finds funny since the way he writes people seems so natural), but he does enjoy being around them. people watching. so a lot of the time he writes at coffee shops and you just so happen to work at his favorite one.

you get a lot of regulars and you remember all their names and orders. you like when they come in because they are all pretty chill. some will tell you their life gossip which you are so interested in even though you have no idea who any of the people they talk about are. you just like to be nosy. but bruno never speaks to you all that much. you’ve tried to make conversation a few times with him to be polite, but he always just awkwardly laughs and gives short answers. he is very polite and never feels stand offish. just quiet. he orders, sits down with his laptop and types away for hours. 

the day you finally decide to talk to him is at the end of what you think to be his work week. he’d been staying later and later every day, seeming so caught up in his work that he’d lose track of time. that day you had to talk to him to tell him you were about to close. you tap him to try and get his attention to which he jumps and looks at you, panicked.

youre extremely worried. he looks like he hasnt slept in weeks. like much more than usual. “hey, we are about to close and... look, i don’t mean to be a bother, but is everything alright?”

he tells you that he’s just stressed about deadlines. that it’s not that big of a deal. but your nosiness gets the best of you and you prod a bit more. you’re off the clock anyway so a few questions can’t hurt.

at first he is silent, but he’s so tired that the walls he usually puts up crumble so easily. you feel like he had been waiting for the moment someone asked if he was alright...

and thats all i have rn. idk where i really want it to go from there. i have a few ideas but aaaaa too nervous to share.

---

and the ghost au.

so in this au, ghosts can just roam as they please depending on how sentient they are. most are trapped in a loop of their old life, but others who realize they are dead can do whatever and go wherever they want. 

y/n is dead. you passed have just been mindlessly roaming the earth ever since. at first you were desperate to try and find someone who could see or hear you. but after a while you just gave up and decided to explore. you would spy on peoples lives, trying to live vicariously through them since you felt you had no purpose anymore. a lot of the time you wondered why you were still around. why the other ghosts you did come across would act like you werent even there. you never stuck around one person for too long. just gathering bits and pieces of peoples stories.

but eventually you come across something new. a family who were granted magical gifts to help their community. it fascinated you. you got there just in time to watch the youngest member get the power of inhuman strength and durability. you began to wonder if one of the children would ever get the gift to see you. that was the original reason you stuck around. it would be so nice to have someone to speak to.

you would snoop but still try to give people personal space at appropriate times. you liked the family dynamic they had at first. it seemed very sweet and helpful but you slowly learned more about this family and their secrets. their stressors, fears, and burdens. and one of their biggest secrets, bruno.

he’s already about 30 at this time. already closing himself off. he would rarely leave his tower. you noticed his sister julieta would invite him to dinner every night, but he would always decline. that slowly turned into her bringing him a plate of food, which became just leaving it by his door. tbh you dont think you had ever even seen him yet. just heard his name in conversation every now and again.

at this point you were a bit afraid of him. people talked about him in such awful ways. maybe you’d get jinxed even though you were just a spirit. you still werent sure of the rules. but your curiosity finally got the best of you. you went through bruno’s door.

he wasn’t anything like the stories. he was kind of pitiful to you at first. all this talk and he’s just this sad lonely man. his own friends were the rats. he’d chat with them all day, sometimes being silly and cracking jokes, other times talking about how he desperately wished he had a different gift. or didnt get one at all. and you honestly think the rats could understand him sometimes.

you would spend a lot of your days listening to him tell stories to his little friends. he was surprisingly very good at it, and had a flare of the theatrical. he would sometimes try to write songs but he was a terrible singer. he dabbled in drawing, painting, sewing, any type of arts to busy himself with. you could tell it helped him escape the life he was given.

before you even realized, you had spent 10 years in the encanto. you knew so much about everyone in the town, but none were as enjoyable as bruno.

you couldn’t wrap your head around why everyone despised him so much.

he rarely would use his gift if he could help it. sometimes alma would ask him to try and see things and he would never turn her down. you wished he did. especially the night that the newest madrigal didn’t get her gift.

the second you watched him hold that vision in your hands you never wanted so desperately to be heard in your death. you yelled and screamed hoping he would hear you telling him that its not his fault but there was nothing you could do.

he did try to leave. you even went with him to the top of the mountains of the encanto but he paused. bruno looked back at his home and you knew he couldn’t bring himself to leave.

during the time in the walls is when you start to feel yourself fall in love with him. or at least realize that you are. maybe you have been for a while. when he is in the walls, you can tell he’s more free than he’s ever felt. being in that tower with all the constant reminders of who he was weighed down on him more than you ever imagined. now he can make this space for who he truly wants to be. (also side note i like to think that the rooms are effected a lot by the owner so the more he distanced himself from his family, the higher up his tower became and the more ominous the space was. he didn’t want it, but he couldn’t help it) its just a lot of you falling for him and him not even knowing you are there. and once the events of the movie happen you are so happy for him. you finally get to see him accepted back in the family he loved and did so much for.

you start to distance yourself from the family though. you are far too attached but now that you know bruno will be okay, you feel that you can leave.

that is, until dolores and mariano’s first baby gets the gift to see/speak to spirits.

AND THATS IT./ okay  i spent too much time typing this out. i even had to take pain killers in the middle bc the migraine was gonna kill me lmao.

[mythiccheroacademia]

I'm so sorry if I've already asked you this (I can't remember which blog I asked) but what would Kiri, Denki & Baku do after cheating? Like how would they feel, how would they tell the reader (if at all) and the aftermath of it

angst? angst. 

good request btw!

A/N: I’m currently drunk and sad so let’s see how well I can rip y’all’s hearts out. Thank goodness you didn’t ask for a good ending. I have such a strict rule for cheaters. I personally got cheated on (can’t believe i let a man play me like that...smh) and had to learn the lesson the hard way. Never take them back. It subconsciously affirms that you will take them back even if they do it again. Even if the person loves you, it doesn’t matter. Love and respect are two different things and, obviously, they didn’t have the latter for you. 

So, what I’m trying to say is…there’s no romantically happy ending for this one :/

Of course, everyone and every relationship are different. Girls and gays, do what is best for your heart. That is all the advice I can give. Men…y’all can perish.

Sidenote: Please stay safe and well, both physically and mentally. Wash your hands and fucking take Corona seriously.  

With love, always 🖤

Warnings: Sad tingz :(

Kirishima Eijirou: 

it was just a kiss

just one

his childhood friend was going through a rough time

their father just died and their ex dumped them bc they needed time away

they were always such good friend

kirishima remembered all the times in middle school they’d support him when he didn’t believe in himself

so when he was holding them, while they were crying, he just couldn’t pull away when they leaned in

before he knew what happened, they were kissing 

he kissed them back and he didn’t break away until you called his phone

it eats him up

every day

he immediately says they can’t see each other anymore

Kirishima literally wants to die

every time you and him are together, he feels the weight of his guilt grow

every time you two kiss, all he can think about is how dirty he feels

you are so in love with him

you’re oblivious to his guilt-ridden face

all the extra gifts and affection he gives you makes you so happy, you don’t realize that he’s doing it bc he’s so ashamed of himself

he keeps it in for 2 weeks

then, as you two are in bed, watching a movie, he just blurts it out

you just stare at him and he’s spilling everything to you

he’s sobbing, swearing that he wasn’t thinking and that he loves you 

he swears he loves you

“shut up”  you keep saying

he tries to hold you, but you rip his hands off you

you’re screaming at him, asking him how he could ever do that to you

“i never did anything to make you do this! how could you, you lying asshole?”

you know you were good to him 

all he does is look away, unable to face you 

you just leave to stay at your friend’s house

you break down to them

you didn’t come back

you never came back 

kirishima was never really the same afterward

Kaminari Denki:

you two were fighting a lot

ever since you moved in together, it was harder to be around one another

it was fun at first, but then it got annoying

you two would catch each other at bad times and just grate on each other’s nerves

one particular screaming match ended with denki leaving the apartment

he didn’t come back for the rest of the night

you were on the phone with your friend talking it out

you realized you were being too hard on him and decided to do your best to be better in the future

he comes home, drunk, and you help him to bed

when he wakes up, you’re at his side, nursing his hangover

when he’s coherent, you burst out in tears and apologize for acting crazy

your apology brings him to tears and he apologizes as well

you two make up and the future is bright

you two work on yourselves and your relationship couldn’t be better

but denki has a dark secret that eats him up

on the night of your fight, he slept with some random person from the bar he went to

he was drunk, but not that drunk to not remember it 

he thought you two would break up and didn’t think it was a big deal at the time

now he regrets it so much

you were the best thing to ever happen to him

maybe you two butt heads, but you were his soulmate

he was sure of it

and now…

he loved you too much to tell you

so he swore he would just love you with his entire being to make up for it

but when you two went out for Mina’s birthday, to the same bar

the person comes up to him and tells him the night they spent together was amazing

you immediately ask what they means and it confirms your fears

he cheated on you

kaminari is chasing after you 

“y/n, wait! i can explain–”

“is that why you changed? bc you felt bad for fucking another person?”

“no baby. i mean yes, but please–”

“fuck you, kaminari. we’re done.”

Bakugo Katsuki:

everything was fine

that day, you and your husband had kissed each other goodbye

you had to stay home and catch up on some paperwork

you forced him to go celebrate kirishima’s birthday for the both of you

he didn’t really drink so he was prepared to have a bad time

but his friends convinced him to drink

mans cannot hold his liquor

all of sudden, he’s in a separate room with another person

you two hadn’t had sex in so long bc of the kids and well…

he’s fucking them and he remembers wondering if the gasp he heard from the other side of the door was real

maybe it was true that midoriya liked you a little too much considering you were his friend’s (?) spouse

but this didn’t have anything to do with his feelings

even if he did get the slightest bit of satisfaction knowing he was right that katsuki didn’t deserve you when he recorded the sounds of the moans

sends it to you

katsuki was cheating on you and izuku refused keep it to himself 

izuku: y/n, i’m so sorry. this might not be the way to tell you, but i had to. you deserve to know the truth. 

you must have listened to the recording at least 700 times trying to convince yourself it was the wrong person

but you heard your husband and the other person moan your husband’s name each time

you take the kids to your mom’s house for an indefinite amount of time

you had business to tend to 

you: thank you for sending me this

izuku: y/n…are you okay? do you need me to do anything for you?

you: i’m fine, i just need some space. thank you for being a real friend. i appreciate you

izuku: anything for you…i’m so sorry again

bakugo somehow makes it home and passes out

he wakes up to you breaking your wedding photos

“what the fuck, y/n–”

“i gave you everything! and you wanna go fuck other bitches!?”

he’s confused and you play the recording

all the color drains from his face as bits and pieces of it come back to him

he’s trying to get you to calm you down

you’re throwing things and cussing him in and out

he grabs your arms but immediately stumbles back at the bloody look in your eyes

“fuck with me, bakugo, and i swear i’ll ruin your life”, you hiss

he’s begging you to forgive him

you throw your ring at him and grab your car keys

“when the kids ask why we’re not together, you can give them the reason”

[neon-junkie]

you shouldn’t have kept me waiting

Summary: Sometimes, sex doesn't go as planned, especially when it's your first time.

Pairing: f!Reader x Flaco Hernández

Word Count: 1864

Rating: NSFW

Tags: First time, First kiss, Friends to lovers, Table sex, Making out.

Notes: Wanted to try a writing style a little different to my usual stuff, and I haven't written about Flaco for like 2 hours, and it's killing me bc hes my husband, so I wrote this lil oneshot <3

  You were bored, hunting yet again in Big Valley, dumping corpse after corpse by Cripp's butchering table, hearing endless of comments of "this'll do," and "beautiful!" But he soon told you to "calm down, we have enough to keep me busy for days! How's about you take some time to enjoy yourself? Go for a ride or something?"

 And, well, you did exactly what he suggested.

 You'd been itching to go and see him again, despite swearing you'd try and stay away for a while. Obsession is the right word for it, considering you used to trail up the mountain to see him once a week, but it had slowly become twice a week, then three times, then four. You were practically moving in at this point, but he didn't mind.

 Flaco adores your company, along with a long list of other things about you, and he'd begun listing a few things off whenever you've seen him. "Pretty coat, I hope it's keeping you warm," "your horse is looking healthy, they suit you," "you must be cold, chica, your cheeks are so rosy, but eh, it looks cute."

 Oh, yes, he's pinpoints each and every single thing about you, even the things you find unattractive like the bags under your eyes or the occasional cow-lick to your hair. Flaco hadn't told you directly how he feels, but it's hard not to notice from the way his eyes light up every time you've burst through his cabin door, or the way he soon began waiting in his doorway for you to return from your missions, shouting across the frozen lake to ask if you were injured. He doesn't care about the missions, but you he definitely does care about.

 Only today went differently.

You thought you were clouding up Flaco's personal space, using the excuse of 'work' to see him as often as you could, and although he'd never shown any disliking to your frequent visits, your mind had convinced you that you were a bit too much, excessive, in his personal space. Once a week is enough to work for somebody, right? You thought it was, until you finally entered his cabin for the first time in weeks to see his furrowed brows and a pout across his face.

 "Where have you been?" Flaco had questioned, his voice rough and rugged, monotone like it used to be, back when you first met him.

 You explained that you'd been busy doing other things, your trading company, the bounty hunting work, collecting odd items for a lady you met out West, but all your excuses were literally just that in the eyes of Flaco.

 "I didn't think I'd see you again," Flaco confessed as he rose from his seat. This wasn't the first time you'd stood against him, tilting your head far back to gaze up at the much larger man, but it felt off today, as if your neck actually hurt from looking up for once. "I was worried something had happened, something... bad, you know?"

 You attempted to calm his confusion, explaining that you were fine, just busy, but Flaco still wasn't buying it. Only he finally did the second you reached out to rest your hand on his arm, kneading at him gently, a small reassuring gesture that meant the world to Flaco. He's never really touched you before, the only time being when his hands linger in yours when he hands over payments, and the only time you'd ever touched him was when you wiped some food from his face, and his look of embarrassment is one you'll never forget.

 Flaco's facial expressions alone made it obvious that he was crumbling, and he pushed back at his sombrero, letting it fall around his neck as the cord kept it in place, and dipped his head down to your level.

 You knew what was coming, you were hoping for the same, and stood on tip toes to meet Flaco in the middle. Your hand continued to knead at his arm, eventually trailing up to his shoulder as the other one joined, and Flaco cupped your jawline so perfectly that he had to move his hands to your waist to ensure your knees wouldn't give way beneath you.

 Flaco didn't taste how you thought he would, of rich chewing tobacco or a chain of cigarettes, but of whiskey and the herbs he uses to season his meals. Mint was the strongest taste, and it was rich on his tongue as yours slid across it, Flaco letting out a whimper against your lips, his moustache brushing over the sensitive skin just below your nose.

  Desperate kisses had turned needier and needier, just like the hands roaming your body, eventually dipping down to tug at your thighs. You knew what he wanted, and you knew he'd catch you if you somehow fell, so you allowed him to lift you, wrapping your legs around his waist, barely able to cross your ankles over. The sound of an array of items hitting the floor caught you off guard, and you soon realized that Flaco had swept some of his belongings from his table, replacing them with your ass instead, still nipping at your lip as you relaxed against the wood.

 Everything about him felt so intoxicating, not just his musk or the way he was holding you, but the groan he let out as you broke the kiss to nip at his neck. Who knew a man so rugged could sound so poetic? and he watched with half-lidded eyes as you moved your hands down his chest, trailing over the thick fur of his coat, over each cold bullet strapped to his bandoliers, and settled at his gun belt.

 The belt hit the cabin floor with a thud, and Flaco moved his hands from your thighs to your waist, gently unpicking each button to your pants, though you can sense his eagerness as he fiddles with them. One of your boots is slipped off, followed by your pants and undergarments being pulled from under your ass, letting the cold air hit one leg, and leaving the other clothed.

 Flaco popped a thick finger into your mouth before pressing it against your entrance, returning his lips to yours as he slowly pushed himself in, chuckling at the moan you'd let out against his lips. His chuckle soon turned into a sigh once you got your own revenge, reaching beneath his coat to unfasten his pants, and free his thick member from his undergarments, pumping him slowly as you feel his precum run across the back of your fingers.

 A pair of dark eyes met yours, gazing at you for mere seconds, yet it felt like minutes. Lips were reunited, and both of you spent some time working at each other, prepping each other, finally able to feel and enjoy the other after too many months of tension and frustration.

 You'd guided Flaco to your entrance, looking up at him with lustful eyes as you pressed the tip of his cock to your hole. Flaco pulled his finger from you, "how can I deny you?" he questioned in a voice so deep it made you tremble, and he grinned at your body's response. But Flaco soon began melting into you as he pushed his cock in, taking it inch by inch, both of you sighing in unison once he was fully sheathed inside of you.

 You moaned his name and he moaned yours, cupping your jawline with his calloused hand. Flaco nuzzled you briefly, pressing his forehead to yours as his eyes fell shut, before placing a kiss on your forehead. He didn't say anything, and you could tell he was lost for words, but he soon began thrusting into you.

 The rolling of his hips was deep and smooth, slow and steady, both pleasurable and painful at the same time. There was no actual pain, Flaco could never hurt you, but it was agony having him go at this speed; you've needed him for so long, and now you finally have him, but of course he's going to make you wait just a little longer. There was a smug grin on his face as you began mewling in his arms, head buried into the curve of his neck, his cold bullets pressed against your cheek as you began to whimper.

 "What's a matter?" Flaco questioned in a playful tone. "This not enough for you, eh? You make me wait weeks to see you, and then demand everything at once?"

 He wasn't serious, you know that, and it was painfully obvious as he was visibly biting at his lip in an attempt to stop himself from grinning. What a tease. But Flaco was quick to give in, not just because you needed it, but because so did he.

  If you said you hadn't thought about this before, you'd be lying; you've imagined Flaco railing you just about everywhere in this cabin, but you always thought the table would be the dodgy spot. It's an old piece of furniture, somehow still standing in the harsh terrain, but remained standing as Flaco slammed into you on top of it. You were careful not to knock the candles over as you relaxed into the wood, your eyes flicking between watching Flaco's length disappear into you, and watching the expression of pure lust on his face.

 You were surprised he'd waited this long, seeing as there's been many opportunities to pull you onto his lap, but something must have burst in Flaco's mind when you disappeared for a few weeks, and you wouldn't be surprised if he made a promise to himself to come onto you the second you returned.

 The sounds Flaco made were intoxicating, grumbles and groans at all different levels of volume, but he fell silent as he came. Flaco had pulled you up off the table and wrapped his arms around you, holding himself deep inside and burying his head into the curve of your neck, arching his back over so he could hold you, and be held at the same time. "Mierda," he muttered to himself, his voice muffled by your coat. "Too much, too fast, augh!" he grumbled, and finally stood upright to look at you.

 "I'm sorry," he had said, and avoided eye contact with you as you tilted your head in confusion. "I... I came too fast," he grumbled, and slipped himself from you.

 You had to bite back on your laughter. Really? This grown man, a legend, is pouting like a child because he came within minutes during your first time together. "It's alright," you smiled at him. "We'll just have to build your stamina back up, hm?" you suggested.

 Flaco looked at you blankly before bursting into laughter, placing a kiss to your temple and then your cheek. "You tolerate me too much," he chuckled, and you could feel the warmth radiating from his heart at your kind response.

 "Now, come on," he said as he pulled you up from the table, letting you dress yourself as he tucked himself away. "Let's hear all about what you've been doing over these last few weeks..."

[lutbys]

Gift Wrapping

MIND YOU THIS IS VERY UNEDITED IT IS REALLY JUST A BRAIN DUMP OF A FIC ILL EDIT IT ONE DAY JUST NOT TODAY TQVM 

Draco Malfoy x Slytherin reader

Summary: Thinking you were going to be alone in the common room, Draco sits in the corner by himself, struggling to wrap his gifts for Christmas

You hear the last doors close and the hallways were finally quiet. 

“Wher’you going?” you hear your dormmate mumble, seconds to slumber. “I’m going to go read, clear my head a bit” but you didn’t hear a response, only the small whistled breaths to indicate the they were fast asleep.

Your feet tapped on the stone stairs lightly, book in hand as you led the way to the common room.

There were always candles lit throughout the night in but that didn’t contrast with the fireplace as its brightness roared through the room, lighting up even the smallest crevices.

The fireplace was the best part of the common room, it always amazes you with the blazing fire it brings and the crackling that bring peace, almost like white noise.

Your feet tapped on the stone stairs quietly, book in hand as you made a bee line to the common room. it was dark, any surface the light of the fireplace didn’t touch was dark enough to be considered non-existent.

The fireplace was your favourite part of the dungeon. It blazing fire glowed beautifully, and the crackling of wood provided you white noise for nights like these, nights were your mind is awake and unwilling to let yourself into deep slumber.

“For fucks sake.” You heard someone whisper-grunt. You jumped out of your shoes, who could still be up this late?

Your head snapped towards the voice and it led you to the table on the farthest corner of the room, a small lantern being the only source of light that illuminated the voices features.

“Malfoy?” 

The boys head snapped up and his face glowed orange, accentuating the small bags under his eyes.

“What you do want y/l/n?”

“That’s not how you greet a fellow sixth year.” You chuckled. Its only been the fifth time you’ve talked to the boy, having only had to create conversation whenever you were with pansy. You weren’t as close as one would think, what with having the same group of friends and all. “Whatcha doin’?”

The table he occupied was covered with layers upon layers of wrapping paper and gifts, to the far corner sat three messily wrapped gifts, wrapped was an understatement. “Wrapping?”

“Seems like you’ve answered yourself y/l/n”

“d’you need any help?”

“Wouldn’t need it if mother didn’t have a no giftbag rule.” He rolled his eyes, struggling to peel of the tape that had miraculously stuck itself together. “This is bullshit!” in anger, he balled up a the piece of wrapping paper he used and tossed it behind him.

“Let me help you. Good thing, I know how to and don’t possess anger management issues.” To that, Draco glared but nevertheless pushed the gifts towards you.

With elegance, you wrapped a book, its edges crisp and the ends tucked neatly with a single piece of tape. “See! It’s like folding clothes, but not so much.” “Atypical for you to know how to wrap” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You moved on to the next gift “I mean, all these years I’ve known you, I’ve never seen you fold anything.” He leaned back in his seat; his eyes glued to your hands as they reach out for the tape.

“Technically, there should be no room for you to comment since you know so little of me.”

To your surprise, the conversation flowed well. Considering his witty remarks and rude sarcasm, Draco was actually good company. With your book long forgotten, the only story you acknowledged were the ones coming out of the blonde boys mouth.

“How about animals. What d’you like?” he asked, fingering with the crisp corners of a cylindrical wrapped gift.

“Snakes. Typical for a Slytherin but there’s just something about them that’s intriguing.”

“Care to elaborate?”

“Like, the flowerpot snake which are made up solely off of females and doesn’t need a mate to reproduce yet, they are the most widespread terrestrial snake in the world or- or the fact that a decapitated head of a snake can still bite and hold more venom than usual.”

Draco eyed you as your eyes gleamed from the thought of snakes, subconsciously gesturing with your hands passionately. 

“But I guess the real reason I like snakes is because we used to own one when I was little. Scales. The sweetest little thing that changed my mind completely about them.”

The boy let out a small chuckle, “Scales? Come on y/l/n, there are better names.”

“Hey! I was young and the privilege to get to name her got to me okay.”

“So where’s Scales now?”

Your head ducked, the biggest secret of your life close to slipping from your tongue. “I. It’s- it’s complicated.”

Taking it as a sign, Draco quickly averted the subject knowing he himself wasn’t comfortable with death, -if that was- the case.

The night went on until event he fireplace couldn’t keep up with their company, the fire slowly dimming to a faint, faint glow.

“I should start packing I doubt I can bring much home with all this occupying the space.” He lifted the big bag of presents neatly wrapped because of you. “Will I be seeing you again at the train?”

“No, not this year. I’ll be celebrating it with the elves and most possibly Almost Headless Nick. He pretty good company once you get used to his same performance.” You both giggled at the thought of the ghost boring the students with his same act, only satisfied at the inexperienced first years.

Draco’s heart sank. He tried to push the thought away but after the past couple hours, he regretted not talking to you sooner and now, he had no excuse to use the long ride back home to get to know you better.

“Alright then, I guess I’ll see you after break. Goodnight.”

“Draco wait-“ he barely turned around before your arms encircled around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug. For a while, your heart stammered from his lack of response but instantly relaxed when his hands finally found their way around you. “Thank you for tonight. Like snakes, my perspective changed about you.” 

“Glad to know y/l/n. I’d say the same.” You both pulled away with a smile, neither wanting to end the moment but the quiet whispers of dawn approaching did. You slept that morning with the same smile, completely ignoring the loud shuffling of your dormmates rushing to the station with the bliss you felt for your new acquaintance.

-

Christmas morning felt lonelier than usual, what with barely seven people staying back at Hogwarts, the only sounds coming form the great hall being the quiet clatter of utensils and the elves sweeping the floors.

You sat alone at the table, book in hand. The same book you had that night with Draco, the same book you could never finish because you got distracted every few sentences thinking of the same boy.

Finding it useless to finish the chapter among the small distractions, your feet padded back towards your bedroom, the mound of pillows and blankets ready to sink you in the plush. 

Instead, your eyes caught on your once vacant bedside table that now occupied an envelope with your name neatly written on top.

Your hands quickly fiddled with the seal and a small box dropped onto your lap. Opening the letter you read:

The thought of you spending Christmas alone gutted me so here’s my gift to you. It’s not much but I think you’d like it. It symbolizes how I feel about you. Like snakes, you intrigue me. Looking forward to see you again. Draco. p.s. Tell Nick that his jokes aren’t funny for me. That’s my gift for him.

Your fingers found their way to the box. Sleek with the company’s name engraved on top in gold emboss. As you opened it, the sight of the necklace took your breath away.

Accompanying the silver chain was a delicate snake pendant, its details giving texture as you grazed your thumb around it, completely mesmerized by the thing like it was treasure. You sat there for what could have been hours just staring at the beautiful piece of jewellery before you had the nerve to put it on, the snake sitting beautifully on your chest. 

Like it belonged there.

a/n: anyone else made big writing goals prior to the month and burnt out early + didn’t consider the other responsibilities they have so their whole project just complete failed :( bc IT DO BE ME DOE. 

[goldafterglow]

Headcanons on Ezra and/or Frankie not feeling good enough for their S/O and their S/O comforting them?

A/N: first of all these are definitely a choice I made and it’s okay; second of all, why did this take me all day to write haskghfdj but I did both Ezra and Frankie bc I was having a soft Frankie moment; third of all I literally did not read though this so it’s probably full of typos and redundant words but fuck me

Word Count: 1k+

Warnings: angst, fluff?, soft!hours bitch everyday is soft hours on this blog, the same thing twice except it’s not the same thing at all but it is lol, some quality ass lines going to waste in a headcanon but I loved writing this so it’s okay

Ezra

he absolutely feels this way when he falls in love after losing his arm

Assuming his right hand was his dominant one, he was nearly sobbing from the emotional loss. Ezra thinks a lot, he assigns musings to inanimate objects like books and buttons and arms, because he wants the believe there is beauty in everything, that everything has meaning.

Feeling things is very important to him. The texture of a tree trunk, the cooling glitter of river water, the bumps on your skin. When he says “no love too intimidating,” he definitely means how his right arm holds his most intimate secrets.

He wants to love you to his fullest capacity, love you with his whole body and every last molecule of his tattered soul because you deserve so much more but that’s all he has to offer.

Ezra gets touchy when he’s feeling less than. It’s difficult to notice if you don’t pay careful attention; he is touchy enough on its own. But his insecurities rear its ugly head in the most timid of ways: a kiss that lingers for just a moment more, a hug that lasts a second longer, a nuzzle that travels deeper into your neck than you thought possible. Because he doesn’t know how to compensate for that arm, that missing piece of him.

Ezra is a very honest man; it’s hard for him to keep his emotions in his chest for them to rot and suppurate in the swollen heat. So he’ll probably ask you if you think he’s enough in more ways than one.

It’s confusing to you at first; Ezra has always been somewhat of an enigma, always saying so much and yet the meaning behind his words is so complex that you couldn’t begin to comprehend how the stars over his head cross each other.

“Won’t you lay here with me, my starlight?” and “Just one more kiss, butterfly,” and “Can’t an enamored man tell his muse that he is in such a state?”

And it’s hard for you to say no to him when he looks at you with his pathetic doe eyes, begging you to let him love on you.

But as his doubts grow, his questions begin to concern you.

“Dandelion, you’re happy here aren’t you? With me?”

It breaks your heart to see him so lost, feeling to destitute.

But Ezra trusts you, gives you his whole essence because he doesn’t believe you’d ever want to hurt him, so it’s just a matter of cooing “sweet boy, of course I’m happy. Ezra, you make me happy.”

Or even telling him that “pretty poet, you just being is enough” and that “your existence is a gift in its own, Ezra”

It takes time, requires cycles for him to learn that his love for you is not tied to a limb, attached to anything physical. His love is misty, a cotton candy fog that fills your atmosphere and enters your lungs, melting down to sugar so that you can hear it rattle when you breathe.

But he learns.

Frankie

our beautiful angel bottom

Frankie always feels like he’s taking from you.

You’re so good to him, so loving, and he has spent his time with you letting the little moments with you add up.

He has the ability to recognize every little second of time you spare for him: bringing him take out after he’s had a long day, letting him drive you far off to the ridged edges of the earth so he has a human cushion to hold while he star gazes, sitting in his lap in the backseat of his truck during a drive-thru movie doing anything but watching.

You’re a lot for him, you give him so much, and he doubts that he filling your cup in the same way you empty it. The way you empty yourself into him.

Frankie’s not the best at communicating his problems. He likes to hold things in, to sit and observe and hold his own thoughts until he bursts and his words sting as they leave his lips. He lets his insecurities build, develop in a static silence that he thinks he can resolve on his own because he doesn’t want to burden you more, dump even more of his baggage onto you.

When he gets like this, when he’s festering, he gets distant. It only ever aggravates the issue, rubbing sandpaper on a sunburn and rolling coins into a stab wound, but he’s afraid of offending you. He’s scared of pushing you away.

Frankie’s words do not come in a million small drops of rain, a thousand dainty freckles peppered along cheekbones. Frankie feels like he is the storm, the flood, the monsoon, and that when his feelings flow they crash onto the ground and destroy homes in his path and uproot trees buried deep in the Earth.

He doesn’t tell you until you confront him, asking him why he’s been so distant. Asking him if everything’s okay.

And he can’t lie to you like that, he can’t tell you that there isn’t anything wrong, because something is wrong and it’s with him.

He’s barely able to get out a “Baby I-” before his throat constricts, choking out the flames of his sweet voice. He always tries to be delicate with you.

You have you hold him in your arms for a little bit, give him a safe space to collect himself and pull his shit together because he can’t believe he’s putting this on you, drawing pity out of you.

You’re tender with him, not that it’s hard. Holding him is like balancing a scared puppy in your hands; how could you ever hurt it, be rough or mean towards it?

Telling him that “it’s okay, baby, I promise I can handle it.”

Once his thundering has quieted and the lightning stops striking, he musters to courage to tell you that “I know I don’t deserve you. Just - please, take me as I am.”

Your heart fills with his pain, pins pushing out the walls from the inside. You had no idea.

 But with a little “I think you deserve everything Frankie” and a little “baby, if I took all of you I think I’d drown,” and even something as simple as “Francisco Morales, you have always been enough,” he feels universes better.

It doesn’t take much for him to back to that sweet, soft man that loves you so kindly.

Your gentle giant.

Tags: @mrsparknuts @girlwithanewplan @mrschiltoncat @agentpike

i’m still figuring my tags bc I’m a mess but child anyways here’s the link for my tags bc WOW pls just take it because I added a question about fics/drabbles/headcanons which is why I’m having hot girl problems rn

[morkofday]

get to know me

am going to mix these two different tag games into one post so thank you a lot for tagging me @jazthespazz and @i-am-just-a-kiddo ♥

it’s somehow funny to do these same games again after a while so let’s see what I come up with:

Part I

name: real name petra but i prefer vish/vishie over here ^^ 

pronouns: she/her

star sign: aries ♈

height: 178cm (which am coming more and more proud of while i realize how damn tall every cdrama actor is lol)

time: 10:37pm as am answering this one

birthday: 10th april!

nationality: finnish 

fave bands/groups: ah well this is always a hard question but let’s go with these: BTS, DAY6, OneRepublic, Hurts, Oneus, Hoppipolla, TXT, Red, Mamamoo

fave solo artists: (forgive me if i’ve assumed any of these wrong) Novo Amor, Talos, Crywolf, Liu Yuning, SYML, EDEN, PVRIS, Joker Xue, NF, Halsey, Sleeping At Last, Nuz, HyunA, Sam Smith, Taemin

song stuck in your head: it’s OneRepublic’s Rescue Me bc of the song tag game i did earlier today :’D that one always gets stuck in my head whenever i as much as see the title lol 

last movie you watched: i think it’s The Yin-Yang Master (2021)? I haven’t watched any movies after that bc am so busy with all of my dramas haha

last show you binged: i think binged would be The Journey Across the Night! I watched that as a whole in 4 days

when you created your blog: in 2013 

the last thing you googled: ummm i think it was “what is a ball of wool called” bc of fic purposes haha as a non native speaker i always get a bit lost with words like this 

other blogs: none, i just dump everything here like the idiot i am 

why i chose my url: dates back to my intense summer of binge reading J.R. Ward’s Black Dagger Brotherhood series. Vishous was my favorite of the brothers haha. i first used this username in some random game on my nintendo ds lol 

how many people are you following: 358 which somehow feels like a lot but also like way too few?? i should probably search for some new blogs with other topics than cql, bts and/or dmbj bc i do love a lot of things at once 

how many followers do you have: over 800 

average hours of sleep: i’d say around 7h

lucky numbers: i remember answering 5 previously? i don’t really have a lucky number but 5 pops into my head

instruments: nope, no. not touching those tyvm. i admire everyone who can play any instrument tho

what i’m currently wearing: black jeans, socks with foxes on them (plus my woolly socks), a gray cardigan (my fave thing ever!) and an orange/brown top

dream job: writer would be ideal but that is very faaaaar into the dream zone 

dream trip: around different parts of asia to taste all the amazing food ;; maybe a road trip of sorts through europe? or inter railing? another trip to london bc i miss that ;; a trip to the very northern part of lapland to see all the auroras etc! i’ve never been that far north :’D 

fave food: if i need to quickly name something then sushi. otherwise am pretty fine with anything spicy 

top three fictional universes you’d like to live in: i remember thinking about this a lot the last time i answered this but hmm. currently i’d say dmbj still bc that world is fascinating AND i would love to talk to the characters. mass effect would be the second one currently bc i miss those games and the space stuff is super cool! and the third one would be assassin’s creed rogue bc that is my fave ac game and i like the northern sea and the places in it AND i could probably be one of abstergo’s employees instead and just test/play those simulation games haha 

Part II

Last Song: am currently listening to my playlist with just everything so i have Andrew Belle’s The Enemy playing right now (also I only just now realized that Andrew Belle also sings Pieces which is one of my fave songs? my bff linked that to me after it played in some tv series she was watching)

Last Movie Last Stream: i didn’t want to mention the same movie again or skip this question and i’ve wanted to talk about this anyway so! i watched Liu Chang’s bday live last night :’D it was so much fun even if i couldn’t understand anything. it was just nice to watch him being himself and have fun and chill with his fans. also the songs were amazing ;; i cried with Liu Sang’s character song as well as the ending. and all the while i couldn’t turn my gaze away from his eyes! he has such pretty eyes and they were absolutely Sparkling throughout the whole stream, it was so nice :’)

Currently Reading: Devotions by Mary Oliver (i adore her poems! they’re a very nice change after Siken haha) and then some uni stuff for a course about culture and mental health plus my thesis

Currently Watching: Douluo Continent, Word of Honor, The Long Ballad 

all of these are amazing and make me feel different things! i started Douluo Continent just a while ago and am now on ep 16 i think? it’s been very pretty and very chill and i watch it during the weekend while i wait for new episodes to the other two :’D it’s nice to see Xiao Zhan again and i’ve enjoyed the rpg game type of feeling in it? the group of seven is doing amazing and it’s interesting to watch them craft their team work! Word of Honor again has reached the ending and i just hold my breath with it. am not too far gone with it so i am not getting as heavy feelings about it as i probably could but i enjoy it  alot still and i do cry at times ^^ and then The Long Ballad has just blown me away! i didn’t expect to love it this much and be this invested in it but everything about it has been such a positive surprise and it keeps making me super emotional! i love the characters and the story and the romances even! it’s a great accomplishment for me. also yes i cry on the daily bc of hao du and bc of ashile sun’s hair haha

(i am also rewatching Ultimate Note kind of and been thinking about getting into rewatching Reboot bc it has been on my list ever since i finished it)

What is antipoetry to you: okay hmm i had to google this too and have to agree with Kiddo here. i don’t have strong feelings about poetry tbh, i wasn’t into poetry that much before maybe a bit over year ago? Siken has really blown me away haha. but i have always loved song lyrics which i never thought as poetry but then Kiddo said to me that they consider them poetry and yeah ok. i agree? so idk poetry can be whatever i suppose. i’ve never seen any rules in it anyway. i know there are many rules for different types of poetry but then again. i feel like poetry has always been just words put together to feel things and i guess that is the core purpose of every written type of art in the end right? 

Currently craving: a drama as good and as personal as The Journey Across the Night. that show really just stole my heart and i want that feeling back. i think about that show every day. i miss Li Jia and his two partners. i miss the vibes. i miss sitting on my floor watching it and just sobbing my heart out haha. also! craving a properly subbed, whole version of Anti-Fraud League. only the first 12 eps are badly subbed out there. wetv has... blocked? deleted? the whole show??? i need it to my life, i wanna see Xiao Yuliang being cute as Mi Ruo and i wanna know where the story goes smh 

thank you so much for these both! i had fun ^^ also am sorry this is so long but haha if you’re asking me to talk about myself and my interests then this is what you get :) 

tagging (to do which ever part you want or both!): @cross-d-a @jockvillagersonly @humanlighthouse @kholran @xcziel @minmoyu and @leonzhng ♥

[yikesharringrove]

What if Billy did l leave to Cali and moved in with his old friend, the guy who was kind of his boyfriend before Neil dragged him to Hawkins. After couple of years of him living there, they would go out to a bar with Billy’s old friends and him and the guy would kinda have this fwb thing going on. But then, Billy sees Steve. The guy he had a crush on before he decided he wasn’t good enough for him and left after a night where he had finally fucked Steve senseless —

Pt. 2. Billy would be shocked to see him and before he realizes, Steve’s already coming towards their table. He has came with one of Billy’s friends, Steve being that guys date. There would be some confusion and jealousy from both of them, but they would still end up fucking after the night. (lmao i’m sorry that this is long)

-

This is from forever ago, I’m sorry it took me a thousand years.

It doesn’t actually have smut, bc where I went with it, it just didn’t feel like it fit, I’m sorry about that.

-

“Billy, we haven’t gone out in like, a month.” Billy rolled his eyes.

“We went out last weekend, you little baby.” He pushed at Danny’s face. “Git outta here you monster, and maybe I’ll consider meeting you there.”

“Kyle is bringing that guy he’s been dating.”

“And?”

“I was talking to Andie, and she said he’s totally not Kyle’s type. Apparently he’s like, super femme.” Kyle was known for going for absolute macho douchebags. “So we’ll get to meet him, and totally make fun of Kyle for whatever he’s tryna do, changin’ everything up like this.”

Billy threw his head back, groaning at the ceiling.

“Fucking fine. But if he’s an asshole, like Kyle’s guys always fucking are, I’m leaving.”

-

They met the rest of the gang at the bar, pushing through the small crowd to reach the large table they had claimed. Billy greeted his friends, elbowing Kyle a few times and asking where his new honey is.

“He’s getting us drinks, lay off.” Kyle shoved Billy away, made him bark a laugh. he turned around, was going to head for the bar, but stopped in his fucking tracks.

Steve fucking Harrington was making his way towards him, a drink in each hand.

He hadn’t seen Steve since the night he left Hawkins four years ago.

They had been moving towards something for months, had finally fell into one another, having a night of the most tender sex Billy has ever had in his entire fucking life. Steve had looked at him with those big perfect eyes, and had told Billy he loved him.

Billy left when Steve fell asleep, packed up his car and didn’t stop driving until he reached the Pacific.

Steve spotted him, stopping in his tracks, glaring at Billy. He stomped forward, pushing a drink into Kyle’s hand.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Everyone turned to look at Steve when he spat that at Billy.

“Meeting my friends. Why are you here, Harrington?” Steve gestured lamely at Kyle.

“You two know each other?” Kyle looked at Billy with wide eyes.

“Yeah. Remember when I lived in that shitty hick town for two years? Steve is from there.” Steve looked livid. “Good for you for getting out, Pretty Boy.”

“You’re a real piece of shit, you know that, right, Hargrove?” Everyone was watching with wide eyes as the two went back and forth, heads turning like they were watching a tennis match.

“What the fuck did I do?” Steve’s eyes seemed to crackle.

“You know what the fuck you did. You couldn’t’ve even bothered to say goodbye? Had to run away like that?”

“Wait, did you two fuck?” They both ignored Danny.

“I had to get out, Harrington. You don’t know shit about me.” Steve’s eyes narrowed. Billy admired the pretty eyeshadow on them.

“Max told me everything. I knew it all. You’re just a fucking coward that couldn’t take the fact you felt the same way.” Everybody had lost the conversation, couldn’t derive enough from the fight to figure out exactly what had happened between these two.

“I was saving you from yourself, Pretty Boy. I was always gonna leave. Better right away than let you get your hopes up.” Steve stamped his foot.

“My fucking hero.” He picked up one of the drinks he had brought, chugging it down before slamming the glass back onto the table, grabbing Kyle’s hand. “We’re dancing.” He turned to Billy. “Don’t fucking talk to me tonight.”

They disappeared back into the crowd. Billy made his way to the bar, downing two shots right after the other.

“You used to date him, or something?” Billy shook his head, not looking at Danny.

“Nah. I fucked him once and he told me he loved me. I packed up and left the next day.”

“Wait, you only fucked once and he said that?” Billy slammed another shot.

“We were friends, I guess. He had a thing for me, and I just wanted some ass.” That was a complete lie, but Danny didn’t need to know the sweet warmth that had settled in Billy’s gut when Steve said he loved him, how badly he wanted to say it back, how he had gotten scared and made the stupidest decision he had ever made.

“And then you left without saying goodbye?” Billy nodded. “That’s kinda fucked up.” Billy just stared at him.

“What?”

“You knew the guy was into you, and you just dicked him and ditched him without saying goodbye. That’s fucked, Billy.”

“I don’t need this from you. You do not understand what that fucking town was like for me.”

“No, I understand perfectly. You’re a bigger asshole than I thought.” Danny shook his head. Heading back to the table. Billy downed two more shots.

-

His head was fuzzy as he stumbled into the alleyway for some fresh air.

He tried a few times to light a cigarette when he heard a quiet sniffle.

He turned to see Steve leaning against a wall further down the alley.

“You okay?” Steve stiffened.

“What’s it matter to you?” Billy shrugged.

“If Kyle tried anything-”

“Oh, shut up. He dumped me because of you.” Billy took a few unbalanced steps towards him.

“‘Do you mean?”

“He asked about what happened, and I told him. How you led me on for over a year, how you would let me open up to you, let me cry and feel insecure and would tell me that I was enough the way I am, how you fucked me and ran away the next day, didn’t even bother to call or even write for four years.” Steve had silvery tears running down his cheeks now, illuminated by the streetlights. “How I waited for you, like a fucking idiot before letting myself move on.” He wiped his eyes. “God, I told myself I was done crying over you.”

“Steve, I didn’t mean to-”

“Doesn’t matter. You still did it.” Billy’s heart sank. Steve looked fucking broken in front of him.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have run like I did. Especially, especially because you’re right. I was scared of how much I felt for you. Scared that if I let myself love you, I would’ve stayed in Hawkins forever. Would’ve never gotten out from under my dad’s thumb.”

“Bill,” Billy’s heart fluttered at the way Steve’s voice sounded when he said his name like that, was immediately transported to late nights sitting in his car overlooking the quarry. “I would’ve left with you. I didn’t like it there, either. I would’ve left with you.”

“I was an idiot. Still am sometimes. But I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for dragging you into my mess. You deserve a lot better than me.” Steve took a shaky breath.

“Y’know, it still sucks. After all these years of telling myself I hate you for what you did, standing here with you, I still-I mean I could never hate you.”

“You wanna come back to my place? Nothing implied, just to talk. Catch up.” Steve chewed on his bottom lip. His lipstick was a pretty deep red.

“Sure. We can, we can catch up.”

Billy led him the few blocks back to his two-bedroom he shares with Danny. He grabbed them each a beer while Steve studied the pictures tacked to the walls.

“Are you two together?” He pointed tot the picture, one of many, of Billy and Danny at the beach, arms around one another.

“Nah. We live together, and we fuck sometimes, but neither of us would be good in a relationship together.” Steve just nodded. “You date much?”

“Not back in Hawkins. I spent about a year there after you left. Robin graduated and moved out here, and I moved into a shitty apartment in Hawkins until she finished her first year and moved out of the dorms. I live with her now. She’s helped me embrace myself more.”

Billy remembers a night when he and Steve got drunk in Steve’s bedroom, how he’d found some dresses in Steve’s closet, the way he’d broken down and cried and said that he just liked to feel pretty, that sometimes he didn’t even feel like a boy.

Billy had held him all night. Bought him some makeup from the drugstore the next day. Probably shitty stuff, but Steve had looked at it like it was made of gold.

“I’m happy for you. I’m glad you get to be yourself here.” Steve sat down next to him on the ratty couch, leaving a solid two feet of space between them.

“You seem a lot happier out here. Like, you just seem lighter.”

“I am so much happier here.” Steve’s smile was tight, a little bitter. “I just mean, without my dad here, I’ve been going to therapy, and I have this support group for queer abuse survivors, and I’m just not angry all the fucking time like I used to be.”

“I’m proud of you.”

Billy had forgotten.

He’d forgotten that Steve had this lovely way of saying something simple and making it the best thing that’s Billy’s ever heard. Making billy realize he’d never heard that simple thing said to him before.

He didn’t even think.

Just leaned across the space and kissed Steve.

he pushed him away.

“Billy, I won’t let you do this again. It took me years to get over what you did. You can’t just kiss me and think it’s all okay.”

“I’m sorry, Steve.” Steve shook his head, went to get up off the couch. Billy grabbed his wrist. “You know, I wanted to say it back that night.”

“Don’t say that.” Steve’s voice was small.

“I did. I felt that same. But I got fucking scared. And I left and I shouldn’t have.”

“Yes, you should have. We just established that you’re doing better here!”

“But I could’ve held out a little longer, long enough that you could’ve come with me.” Steve finally turned to look at him.

“Billy, you did what you had to do. I forgave you a long time ago. When I first saw you tonight I was just, it made me remember the hurt.”

“I know I hurt you. And I’m so fucking sorry.” Steve blinked at him.

“You get one chance. One more chance. Do it for real. Take me out on a date. I want the whole nine. Pick me up, tell me I’m pretty, take me somewhere inexpensive but nice, hold my hand, kiss me on my doorstep, all of it.” Billy just nodded.

“I’ll do it. I’ll do anything. Whatever you want.”

Steve smiled at him, turning over his hand to hold Billy’s.

“Then pick me up tomorrow at six. Don’t be late.”

[isolctions]

...........so let’s finally talk abt what the actual fucking fuck is wrong with ai’rina rue castillo, huh gang? :-)

(everyone go thank @armsdealing & @durcgs beating the anxiety out of me in order to post this info-dump.)

...before we get into things, now’s the part where i establish a warning for triggers to be discussed in this lengthy headcanon post. there’s gonna be some talks of mental illness, slight alcohol abuse, & breaking down topics of familial abuse, mental abuse, religious abuse, emotional manipulation, and elements of non-con. be warned.

a’ight, so look. i’ve hinted in between threads & development that rue had a not-so-fantastic upbringing that impacted how she perceives herself, how she interacts with others, (in terms of her career, at least) and how she views personal relationships, but i didn’t realize how........severely her upbringing messed with her mental health until i started working through how i wanted to plot out rue’s behavior for her next album release. at first, i had the idea that she decided to take more time for herself & sort of distance herself from the public / media circus plaguing her life so that she can create much more authentic music. then i actually listened to the EP that i’m basing her album off of and thought “...oh.” THEN, i looked over old meme responses & old threads / mentions of her family and how she grew up and thought, not for the last time since piecing everything together: “....oh. oh fucking boy.”

so, that horrible realization dawning on me, let’s talk about rue’s childhood.

i wrote a thing like, two years ago almost (that upon looking for last night, i realized i didn’t actually share it w/ anyone but alex in our discord server & only mentioned a portion of it in rue’s moodboard that i made) that talked vaguely about how rue felt growing up. and it’s worth noting that...she’s the middle of ten fucking siblings. and that’s just the brothers & sisters she knew of that stayed with their mother. and on top of that, not all of those siblings are the product of rue’s father, or even rue’s mother for that matter. and it’s also worth noting that rue not only grew up in poverty, but she grew up never having any actual space that had solely been her own, or even an article of clothing that had belonged entirely to her. so naturally, as a young child, rue sort of became torn between starved for attention & wanting someone to pay attention to her (whether that be her older siblings including her in something, whatever teacher they had for the next six months to call on her for something, for her mother to miraculously show up with her unknown father in tow one day, & for literally anyone to be her friend, pls god Notice her!!!) and for people to simply leave her the hell alone. obviously, this carried into adulthood.

and branching off from the whole “lack of space” point i made, rue wound up growing up to become increasingly more private as time went on because she literally cannot remember a single moment where she wasn’t squished between a bunch of people. driving around in their minivan? rue’s packed in the middle of the second row. nowhere to sleep while on the road? rue’s smacked between gigantic older brothers & clingy little siblings. need to use to bathroom? lmao, she better off going outside!!! gotta change clothes? yeah, good luck with that. it was to the point where, when rue got her first period, she was humiliated by it — not because ‘omg, am i a woman now?? wtf is this???’, but because she ruined the one good sheet that she slept on with her sisters & they were super pissed at her and her mother withheld pay from her for weeks. >:/

already, rue grew up never having shit to herself until the record deal. but she also dealt with literally...so much abuse from her mother. rue thought this was the norm growing up, because all of her siblings faced their mother’s wrath at some point & all of them eventually learned to just deal with the shit and do what she says if they wanted to avoid it. they all compartmentalized and repressed to varying degrees. there’s a lot in which rue has repressed so deeply, she doesn’t even remember if it seriously happened or if she was just making it up bc it was so fucking bizarre for a parent to act that way towards their child, lol?? (and this behavior of “i’m just going to do what you say bc i don’t want to deal with whatever bullshit you’re up to if i say no” also carried into business / personal relationships, which is...very Yikes it’s amazing she didn’t get scammed or worse!) 

so sure, people have complimented her for her exceptional manners & her cleanliness & how quiet / polite she is & how amazing her posture is, bc seriously, this girl will never experience back problems in her life bc her posture is so on par. but where rue typically smiles / responds bashfully, she can’t exactly just up and say: “oh, yeah, my mom used to slap the shit out of me ‘til i bruised if i spoke out of turn or talked back, and if i reached for anything in the store or put my elbows on the table she’d slap a ruler against my palms ‘til i got welts, and she’d make me read verses all night without sleep if i did anything wrong and make me straighten up and kneel on rice if i slouched or took a nap in church and humiliated me in public if i so much as looked at someone of the opposite sex on the street n oh, did i mention i also cleaned houses for rich millionaire snobs from ages twelve to sixteen and if they said or did literally anything to me i wasn’t allowed to defend myself?? ya i’m real proper :)”

(and normal ppl will go: “...................what the FUCK is WRONG with you????”)

but oh man, babe, we’re not done yet!!! rue, being the product of both a highly religious and a highly exploitative household...had difficulty when she started reaching puberty & noticing her classmates. plural, because it wasn’t just boys that she began to secretly have crushes on / fantasize abt, sexually or domestically. she also realized, oh shit, that she started looking at girls differently too. and that literally put the fear of god into her heart, bc if her mother ever found out that she was having non-platonic feelings for the girls in her classrooms, she wasn’t going to be pissed. her mom might have actually tried to kill her. or have her exorcised or something. she knew the shit would be severe, and she wanted no fucking parts of her mother or her siblings inserting the church into her personal life, thank u very much! so rue started suppressing her romantic feelings for people to the point where if adult rue receives intimacy, she’s like “...is this allowed? is this not illegal??????” while simultaneously being like “i will be a slut. just this once. as a Treat to teenage me. :>” regardless, rue learned to molotov cocktail literally any emotion or thought she had, bc she was paranoid that it would give her mother a vision.

now, onto the perils of exploitation...she should’ve been used to it really, what with her mother forcing herself & siblings to lure customers into their shop with promises of visions and palm readings and the wonders of the cards and overexerting their abilities. same with housekeeping, like being of service to people was normal! but when seventeen year old rue decided to sign a record deal and break from home, she wasn’t thinking critically about what the fuck all of this would entail. and as described in this headcanon post abt her discography, her early music was the product of allowing people much older & powerful than you to influence your work & manipulate your values. so rue was very much parading around as someone she wasn’t, someone much more confident and badass and self-assured than she really was, and she was so impressionable back then that it literally makes her sick to think back on it now. she calls it her puppy phase and phrases the eagerness to please execs as ‘tongue wagging’. homegirl hardly even knew her name anymore, bc all she was and all she would ever be was rue, the star, the vocal temptress. not ai’rina, the help or ai’rina, the seer, ai’rina, the weak little nobody. but later on, the subtle manipulation was less about decision making & how they wanted her to sound, and more about how they wanted to present the latest trophy star — because after all, she was pretty. people liked her. she sung really well. suitors weren’t too far off into the distant future. so why not kill two birds with one stone by having a high ranking label artist keep tabloids talking by being seen in public with a few heart throbs? surely, there’s no harm in manipulating an eighteen/nineteen year old’s love life! under the guise of improving her social skills & relations with fellow artists and the media and the like, rue gave into the pressures and let herself be taken out on dates & seen at awards shows with a few guys. no big deal. it was only for a night or so, she could handle the attention. then, one night appearances turned into week long appearances. pretending to date for only a month! completely innocent, positive exposure. :)

(adult rue, looking back @ younger rue: you stupid fucking BITCH-)

yeah, so once her label/management realized that she was turning into a hot commodity, they lost no sleep at allowing their nineteen year old artist to be seen ‘dating’ 20-24+ year old men occasionally. and whatever happened after their public appearances were none of their business. plus, she was good at pretending and being arm candy — so rue experienced her first kiss, her first dates, and her first times with people who she’s almost certain hardly remember their time with her, and really only got involved with her for a mutual career boost. very few of them does she actually remember in a positive light, and the ones that were positive, still depress her bc lmao all of it was fake, even if they were really nice & made it less like a chore and more like they actually wanted to be with her!! even fewer of them were actual relationships. meaning, said person asked her out of their own volition, not bc their managers thought it’d be a decent match on camera. it was evil, really, what her old label made of her. (like, she makes funny jokes that her first time having sex was awkward bc she had a vision halfway through that bummed her out but in reality it was just...really more of a transaction that made her feel icky n progressively worse abt herself until it happened more often and now she just doesn’t care anymore. sex is just sex, u know?? everything’s fake. why you gotta make it personal.) this whole fiasco took over the larger part of rue’s career from like, age nineteen to age twenty-two or so, and she suffered dramatically from this because what is even a genuine, authentic relationship at this point? what do u mean you want to get to know me? did ur manager tell you to ask so many damn questions & try to get to know me? obviously you want something from me bc that’s why everyone gets into a relationship or has sex with me, stop confessing feelings for me u fucking loser. >:/

like...rue doesn’t even have friends. outside of her relationship with marcelo / @armsdealing​ (which, AGAIN, i think was initially arranged to promote her song be honest, how fucking IRONIC), rue does not have any personal relationships with anyone. i mean, she likes her latest management team since switching labels...her hair stylist is rly cool & her make up artist is fun to vacation with...she met a few other celebrities at events that she occasionally texts & has dinner with...yeah, she’s basically a pretty hermit. her family is more or less out of the question — the few brothers & sisters she does still have a positive relationship with (like, four of them lol), they don’t see each other in person often / mainly communicate via groupchat and facetime calls when all of them have time. she tried visiting with her mother over the years, but the verbal & emotional abuse/curses placed on her/accusations of being an imp of satan for singing to the public/memories of being forced to perform psychic shows & clean for chump change keeps her from trying to mend that relationship. like, being gaslit by ur mother isn’t really the vibe, u know? and bottom line, rue simply is a very shy and socially stunted individual who does not know how to communicate like a normal human being anymore. hell, her life revolves around pretending for strangers at this point!

now, onto how...all of That ties into her behavior / state of mind during this next album. so, after riding the wave of success from her third album & the circus that came with that. rue sort of had a fucking existential crisis. came out of absolutely nowhere. (not nowhere — one of her brothers called her out of the blue and called her ai’rina and she literally went “who the fuck is that?”) told her label that she was taking some time in between albums bc she was creatively zapped or whatever bullshit excuse she came up with that somehow worked bc this new label was a little more understanding than the last. vacationed for a little, did some hot girl shit, bought a house, tried to see her mother again for whatever reason then got the shit slapped out of her and finally screamed at her to never touch her again unless she wanted to Throw Hands. cried and got drunk abt it. that took six months. bullshat to her label again, dropped like two songs to smooth things over, decided to focus on magic for a little to ground her, started partying with label mates then going home shitfaced & hungover every other morning. that took eight months. dropped one last song, promptly deleted her twitter, tried to write songs again, got a call from her mother and panicked and got drunk. that took a year. vacationed some more, got even drunker, was bed ridden for like three months because holy shit i’m having so many visions and if i see One More Thing my brain is going to explode, couldn’t separate the present from the future for weeks after that, told absolutely no one about that, cried every day & had an identity crisis, dyed her hair to appease the identity crisis goblins. that took a year and a half.

now, she just chilling. dyed her hair again. scaring her siblings halfway to death bc she keeps going on benders & sending cryptic texts abt the visions she’s getting but they’re so incomprehensible that they’re seriously considering moving in to get her fucking shit together. had a vision that she was married with kids and had a two week identity crisis appeased only by moving houses. (she was in a neighborhood with families...too much Drama and visions. turned into a really cool song tho.) started calling herself by her birth name of ai’rina in private. reactivated twitter to send cryptic tweets that her album is coming. working on said album. trying to drink less but kinda failing bc how is one simply supposed to make a highly personal dual album without alcohol??? prbly somewhere crying in marcelo’s lap or smthn. just vibes.

like...i feel like, in my head, the Theme of her project is wrapped up in identity. her relationship with fame and whatnot. trying to coax her childhood self out of its’ shell so that she can function like a normal goddamn person for once and re-establish her values. like, if someone went to any of rue’s residences right now, it’s just songbooks everywhere and wine glasses and her crystals and shit, bc she still has people’s futures to read for money. (yes, she never really got out of that portion of her childhood, but hey it pays.) it was all very confusing to experience at once while in bed at four in the morning & even though i tried organizing and debated on this, it’s still a Lot. which is why i am once again asking for plots that would allow her to dissect all these Things

so yeah. album four otw, with a side of confronting our childhood & facing our traumas!

[yslore]

Writing Asks

thank u to sarah @soldouthaz, lily @theisolatedlily and late @tomlinvelvetfics for tagging me !!

1. describe how you first started writing and when you first posted

started in eighth grade after moving which fucked me up (i’m still to recover lmao) n i needed a distraction, reading had always helped but writing is what let me see what the root of my agony was. (im not trying to be pretentious i swear) i first started on wattpad (love hate relationship to this day) and beginning of lockdown this year gravitated to ao3 which has been my saving grace !!!

2. which of your characters do you typically resonate most closely with? do you base any characters off of yourself?

so far i’ve mostly written in louis’ pov. i’ve had to ask this question in the early stages — i resonate the closest to harry. most of my wips are harry centric for that reason. i mean, yes and no — i tend to take some part of me and fit it into the character but at the same time i don’t like seeing me on a page so yes and no.

3. where do you often find inspiration?

EVERYWHERE. mostly others’ stories be it in the way of songs, music, writing, art. usually it’s me coming across a vaguely aesthetic picture and my brain spitting out one or two random scenes and me trying to make that a story.

4. has quarantine helped or hindered your writing process?

both !!! i have new wips but also i lost a lot of motivation to do anything for a bit. school is sucking the soul out of me — it’s both easier and harder with it being online, the worst part is i can never truly feel like i’m getting a break from it. recently it’s been easier for me bc of the friends i made (ily all) it’s hindered a little bit bc i can’t go out and watch people and streetlights and the blur of cars and try to pour out that feeling into words and create something. at the same time it’s helped me gain more perspective on people and relationships which has been a massive help to writing in general.

5. do you listen to music/noise while you write or do you prefer silence?

depending on the number of classes i have/attend, my mental stability, the story and my sensitivity. i often can’t stand loud noises so there’s that but there is always some noise or the other so it’s never truly silent. i like it that way. sometimes i just play intense studying playlist on spotify and write, Lucida by Odin Sørlie and Haunted Heart by Dawn, Dawn, Dawn are my favourites.

6. what is your biggest writing pet peeve in your writing or in general?

excessive usage of the same word in mine. in general, i’m not a fan of stereotypical characters or romanticising harmful themes.

7. describe your ideal writing setup

2 am, in bed, music still ringing in my ears, three texts from my best friend about a story or about their day. under the blanket, the room smelling of chocolate or something sweet.

8. favorite time of day to write?

anytime but afternoon. those hours are for naps.

9. favorite genre to write + one you’d like to try writing in the future?

fiction? i’d love to write a fantasy au 👀

10. do you struggle with writer’s block? how do you typically overcome it?

yep yep. i just edit an old story or read my old works or other writers’ fics. i gave up trying to force myself into writing — i hated the end product and felt bad so.

11. what is the easiest part of your writing process and the most difficult?

probably the emotions? dialogue without a doubt — i dread writing it. it doesn’t come to me naturally. i can write lengths without dialogue tbh. also smut — it’s an eh eh aspect.

12. how do you come up with original characters? (if applicable)

my wonderful friends. they do dumb shit and i want to tell the world about their dumb shit so i make characters out of them.

13. what is your favorite and least favorite word?

as of now it is fucker — delightful word that one. least favourite is probably squelch — just no.

14. what is one thing about your writing that you’re really proud of and one thing you hope to continue working at?

the dreamy feeling i manage to write without a doubt !!!! dialogue and pacing. i don’t have the best dialogue or the pacing or the length for fics but i’m working on all of those !!

15. what work of yours has your favorite ‘verse/world building? how did you come up with it?

still a wip so i can’t tell you much except that it’s a proper treat. will write this once i’ve posted that fic !!

16. what font and size do you write in? single spaced or double?

*nervous laughter* the font changes from fic to fic — crush is comic sans, size 11. October was Lora, 11. Twisted in bedsheets is courier new, 11. stargazing is spectral, 11. so yeah — whatever the fic demands. single spaced !!!! except when i’m overwhelmed i do double spaces.

17. what is a typo(s) you find yourself making consistently?

I Cannot Type. if you think i can — congratulations you were fooled. autocorrect is the loml.

18. (if applicable) do you separate fic writing from fandom?

of course !!!! i basically do not exist out of my writing.

19. what emotion is your favorite to write? which is the most difficult?

pain, pining, longing. lust.

20. what is one thing you hope readers always take away from your works?

we’re all fucked up but we’re trying and trying sometimes is enough. you shouldn’t spend your life carved out around one person. it’s okay to ask for help and need a shoulder to lean on. i hope these come across in my future fics !!!!

21. what is the best and worst writing advice you’ve ever received?

bold of you to assume i’ve ever received advice.

22. which one of your works would you most want to see turned into a film/television show?

a new fic. will update the answer once that fic is out !!!!!

23. do you write scenes chronologically or out of order?

chronologically. i can’t do out of order. i do have a page full of scribbles but they are to tell me the order sjakmd.

24. how do you handle criticism?

if it’s constructive then well. no thick skin tbh. makes me feel as if i need validation from someone else on my art which isn’t necessary but my brain is wired to seek it and it’s a hassle.

25. what is the advice you would give to someone who is looking to start writing?

write everything you would want to read. write it bad, don’t worry about the quality. don’t worry about the audience. end of the day, it should be something you can turn to for comfort not something that makes you feel bad.

26. what kind of feedback on your work always makes your day?

people telling me they like my writing and it could take them out of this world for a few minutes !!!!!

27. which fic ‘verse of your own would you most like to exist in? which fic’s characters would you most like to befriend?

probably crush verse !!!! harry — his is probably the one character where i dump most of me in.

28. what do you always enjoy getting asks about/wish people would ask about more?

rant to me about anything. i enjoy talking. ask me about wips so i can take the little guilt and write more.

29. what has writing added to your life? how has it changed you?

it’s nice to let go and express things and create characters with a better situation than mine.

30. why do you write?

keep myself busy.

boost yourself + tags

1a. share the last sentence you wrote

No kissing. No flashbacks.

2a. describe the wip you’re most excited about

a little something i’m writing inspired by @brickredtoe’s art !!!!

3a. share the piece of dialogue from one of your works you’re most proud of

ok. well. from 5436 miles

“Or we could always add a trail of stars to one of those moons,” he replies, words dragged out, rolling around in his mouth.

He can see the glint in his eyes even behind his closed lids. Everything about Louis is inked and etched into every fiber of his being.

He would’ve kissed him, words pouring from his mouth into Harry’s, only half his.

He snorts. “And make it seem like the moon has a buttplug? No, thanks.”

4a. share the best first and last lines from your work(s)

both my published fics have circular endings.

5436 miles — Louis always had more stars in his eyes.

these tornadoes are for you — His heart beats in peace.

5a. link to the last fic you read.

sugary sweet by the immensely talented @soldouthaz

6a. link the last work you published

here

7a. link to your ao3 (if applicable)

wheeee

8a. someone that inspires you

taylor. she’s so so wonderful.

9a. a comfort fic/work that you’ve been grateful for this year

all of riv, sarah, ris and late’s fics. they’ve been so so comforting. Event Horizon by @mercurial-madhouse

10a. other writers that you’d like to tag!

@mercurial-madhouse @harryanthus are the only ones coming to mind atm. i’ve been up for too long apologies.

[solipseismic]

hi i am curious please tell me about skysteel/ira and neasa 🥺👉👈

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS. the absolute best (worst?) question u could ever ask about me. ira neda is my entire life. she is,,,, very special to me. i mean neasa is also very neat BUT. ira neda .... u have just Unlocked So Many Things and i absolutely adore u for it. thank u so fuckin much. ira neda is one of my oldest characters and (arguably) my most developed + favorite and requires. a little bit of context from everything else i think and i'm very bad at explaining my characters in concise ways so um. have this word dump !!!! i'm gonna,,, i'm gonna make a separate post for neasa and. tag u in that one bc this is uh. this is gonna be Longe.

- SO ira neda roshani is, at the current moment, a part alien / part human vigilante based in Anehaven, New York (fictional city) and she has cool Cosmic Space and Dimensional Based Powers which is why 99% of her aesthetics are just Galaxy Shit

- trivia :  the human bit of her is Farsi, she’s 5′1 (as a human), pan and greyromantic / -sexual, she used to be in a very - very - short-lived band (lead singer / songwriter!), two-time Olympic champ (figure skater!), has The Chronic Sad (clinical depression), currently works as a figure skating coach (But Really She’s Also Coaching Mini Vigilantes)

- she’s impatient and reckless and not very grounded, with an effervescent personality that takes up a lot of Room, so to speak. ira’s just one of those glowy people you meet and they’re so charismatic and funny and outgoing that you just instantly fall in love with, you know?

- below the line is a shit ton of context. like a lot. there is so much. i had to stop myself from putting more because it’s not actually necessary. i’m so sorry.

- her specific Flavor(tm) of alien is Dragich, which - essentially - are dragons. space lizards. with magic. her Flavor(tm) of human is from Earth Variant 65, colloquially known as EV- / Eve-65, which is the EV that she occupies for the majority of her series

- so, Dragich, right??? weird ass old lizards. the general idea is that there are Other Dimensions and one of those is (sometimes) called the soul dimension which also may be the fourth dimension (but i would need to research a bit more to apply that theory). in the beginning there was nothing, and then there were Dragich. they’re simultaneously the oldest and most powerful beings in existence and the majority of the other worlds that know of their existence generally agree that they’re meddling shits but also super kinda useful meddling shits. they’re like deus ex machina if that was, like, an entire people because they’re so far advanced that their technology and thaumaturgy (tech / magic fusion) are like. mindblowingly complex and useful, right? the kicker is that they’re immortal. like age-wise. they CAN be killed through outside influences but as they age they just keep getting more powerful

- there are different FLAVORS of dragich. i think off the top of my head maybe ten to fifteen different Clans but every few years i shuffle thru them and delete / add a few as needed. different Clans have different kinds of magic but the younger you are, the more likely it is that you ALSO have pieces of OTHER Clans’ magic because u know. inter-Clan marriage and all (using marriage loosely here bc they don’t rly have the same concept of that whole,, thing). the older u are, the more “rigid” your magic is. Dragich actually have super cool nuanced names for the different Clans but then the Merni were like “bro that shit’s a whole mouthful” and named each clan a different compound word for what they could do, which is what made it into English

----- for instance, Rinascz is Holy Shit Fuck Dirt Old and while she has Holy Shit Fuck Powerful magic, she can literally only do ice magic (Iceheart), which is limited hydrokinesis and being able to leech energy / warmth out of things + her surroundings but she’s really, really good at it

----- and then on the other hand, we have Nixrhyis, who’s like. sixteen (in human years, during book three). she’s a Realitybent (telepaths) but she’s actually kind of awful at it. HOWEVER, she’s young enough that she has a kind of jack of all trades general magic, which enables her to make Hexes and Wards (offensive / defensive magic, respectively) to Do Things (but nixie is rly an extreme example, most dragich don’t have that brand of jack of all trades magic unless they specifically specialize in it)

---- Dragich have three names. it’s not like, three parts of a whole name (eg american / english names). it’s like. three different names. you have your informal / family name that’s pretty fluid, ur parents give u one but u can do whatever you want with it. then u have ur formal name, which is like the one that strangers call you (it’s generally considered polite to use the formal name if you don’t know the person very well) and then you have your clan name. so in order of appearance we have Ira Neda / Skysteel / Starcall, Rinascz / Frostcliff / Iceheart, Nixrhyis / Raindancer / Realitybent

- so now that we have THAT. ira neda is a Starcall. this means different things for different people because even within a clan, different people like to specialize in different things, but Starcall is like the explorer / diplomat Clan. they have two types of magic; superficial and unseen

----- superficial is like, easily seen and understandable - the ability to learn any language once you’ve listened to a few sentences of it, the ability to assimilate into / learn any culture once you’ve been exposed to it for an hour or two, generalized invulnerability and resistance to extremes (for flying! in space!!), big fuck-off wings, the ability to teleport and “Hop” between worlds / dimensions / universes

----- unseen is more subtle - the ability to influence different realities (somewhat, nothing wild), a wildly amazing ability to multitask (to keep track of everything), the ability to create artifacts (Things imbued w magic!) that enable dimension / universe-Hopping, general facilitation of magic shenanigans pertaining to space and dimensional shit, space warping (to be used! for flying! in space!)

----- the thing about unseen is that it’s (usually) subconscious. ira neda can’t influence the outcome of something, but she can - potentially - look into other mirror realities to look at the outcomes (she never does, she doesn’t fw other realities). it’s nigh-impossible to consciously do these things with the exception of creating artifacts, but THAT is a very specialized branch of magic you have to Work Hard at

- ira neda used to have a twin, adrian nemat, who died when they were both 18. essentially, there are people (organized into a whole group; worship the primordial concept of Chaos; nicknamed “The Forsaken” because like chaos as an ideal is chill but these people are NOT) who HATE starcalls because they can do some real shady shit with their magic (and they have in the past but not as a group, just Abuse of Power from Certain Individuals) but also because they’re super good for keeping the, like cosmic Balance. so when ira and adrian were like 5 or 6, the Forsaken were like “bro i’m tired of these mfs” and got rid of (almost) all of the starcalls, including ira / adrian’s mother, and killed their father (he wasn’t a starcall, rip to him tho)

----- right but ira and adrian survived and went on to be raised on earth as somewhat-humans by a family friend, Erysidn / Steelweaver / Soulsurge, hence the wildly successful skating careers (they did not use their magic to cheat, if ur wondering) bc partial Dragich have the superfun option of being able to SHAPESHIFT, so their “natural” form is a fusion of the two but they’re also able to be in various states between the two, including All The Way Dragich and All the Way [Insert Other Species]. at the ripe and tender age of 18, the twins were targeted by the Forsaken, who realized they’d not gotten All of the starcalls, and adrian nemat was killed

----- a small recess to explain that dragich twins are different from human twins in that they’re like. one person / two bodies. the prevailing theory is that they Share a Soul (not physical) but have Two Brains (yes physical), so twins’ magic is typically not quite TWICE as strong but. stronger. they’re a little less common than human twins tho

---- so naturally ira went insane (like, clinically) from the strain of her twin dying because most Dragich actually DON’T survive the death of a twin and has approx. three years of her life that she does not remember (spent in the dragich equivalent of in-patient care)

- i’m actually struggling w what i want to do w her character at this junction because. she has so Much because i haven’t,,, like realistically considered how she would work as an Actual Person so i’ve had to pare her down a bit bc some of the stuff i’ve tabled for her is. actually ridiculous. still kind of is (oops)

- so anyways once ira recovers from her Ordeal (around 21-22) she goes out with some friends because she’s... tired of living with the consequences of her past. they just kind of explore other universes and worlds together for several years, as u do. we have Neri and Rian (Linktae, shapeshifter-y shadow people), Etryn (Merni, humanoid ppl who use wood- and blood-based magic), and Danika / Tiyerte (another Dragich lady !!!!!). they have this lil group (found family) and they’re all incredibly close friends from Very Young Ages so adrian nemat’s death hit them all extremely hard (none as badly as ira tho)

- right so when they’re done with this (29?? 27 ish??? maybe??) ira goes back to her earth of origin because she has found out during her travels that the ppl who were responsible for adrian’s death are still alive !! so that’s why she becomes a vigilante in Anehaven, w the call sign “Skysteel”