#oh SHIIIIIIT YO

[dumbpilots]

lift me up (but don't get stuck!) a03

It's Valentine's Day and Bradley's in a rush. It's a shame he gets trapped in the elevator with the building’s newest (and hottest) tenant.

“Oh, hold it please!” He almost sticks his free hand through the closing doors before he thinks better of it. He’s not in a rush, but if he’s going to pull this off before Ice gets home, he doesn’t have a minute to spare. He can’t believe he forgot the spare key. Luck must be on his side today because a moment later the elevator doors slide back open. 

“Thanks, man.” He releases a heavy breath and shoots a relieved smile at the other lone occupant and– oh. It’s the ken doll. Bradley saw him for the first time a couple days ago walking out of the building. His first and only thought when he saw him was gorgeous. Bradley can totally be normal for a minute in his presence. Calm, even. He’s been around beautiful, tanned to perfection, built-like-marble men before. He’s fine. 

He hits 14 and takes two steps back to put some space between them and leans against the back railing. The elevator starts up.

“Runnin’ late for a date?” He says. And oh god. His voice drips like honey, slow and smooth. Ken doll’s eyebrows quirk up at him. His eyes are made of sea glass. Ding.

His brain short circuits. “Sorry–?” Ken doll narrows his gaze to the bouquet of roses tucked into Bradley’s left arm. Ding. “Oh! Hah, something like that.” 

Ken doll nods his head. “Yeah, didn’t realize how slow this thing can be sometimes.” Ding. 

“You just moved in, right?” He blurts without thought. “Not that I–, I mean–, kind of hard not to notice yo– a new face! In the building.” Bradley wonders if he can fall through the floor so hell can swallow him whole. Ding. He feels heat start to creep up his neck.

And then ken doll snorts at him. It shouldn’t be that attractive. But his eyes scrunch up and Bradley can’t stop looking at his dimples. “Yeah, I moved in three days ago. I–” He’s cut off by a horrific jolt. Bradley has to brace himself on the hand railing. The elevator halts completely. Oh shiiiiiit.

“Any chance this happens often and it’s a non-issue?”

“I… normally take the stairs.” Bradley is starting to regret his thoughts concerning luck.

“To the 14th floor? Okay, we’re circling back to that. But first,” Ken doll hits the emergency call button and it rings out. And rings. And rings. 

“No signal on my phone either, shit.” Bradley pockets it.

“Well. I gotta feelin’ we should get comfortable, neighbor.” He sends Bradley a wink and sits down on the floor. “I’m Jake, by the way.” Jake. He commits it to memory. 

“Bradley.” He slides down into a cross-legged position, carefully maneuvering himself so that their knees are not brushed up against one another. He tosses the flowers to the corner. Won’t be needing those. Sorry Mav. “It’s good cardio.” 

“Sorry?” Confused is a good look on Jake.

“Taking the stairs up. It’s good cardio. I only take the elevator when I’m in a rush. And no, the irony isn’t lost on me.” He rests his head against the wall and stares up.

“Sorry about your date, by the way.” Jake looks ruefully at the bouquet. “Hope your girl won’t be too upset with you.”

"Oh– no. They’re for my godfather.” Bradley scratches at his nape. “Well, technically, they’re for his husband. He tends to forget anniversaries and Valentine’s. I’m in charge of keeping the peace. Or rather, making sure my godfather gets to keep his head attached to the rest of his body.” He smiles fondly. 

“Worried now that you’ll get demoted?”

“Only if Pete survives the night.” Bradley smiles wistfully . “And no girl, by the way. Or guy.” 

“Subtle.” Jake grins at him. Bradley wants the image seared into his corneas. 

Jake fiddles with the emergency phone a second time, again with no answer. 

“So, Jake.” Bradley could get used to the sound of his name on his tongue. “What brings you to San Diego? Assuming you just moved here?”

“Work. Naval aviator.” Huh.

“So– question. How can you tell if someone is a pilot?” 

“Um.. Not sure?”

“They’ll tell you they’re a pilot.” Bradley looks down to try and hide his smile.

“Hilarious.” Jake looks like he thinks the exact opposite. “So what do you do then, Bradley?”

“Naval aviator.” He deadpans.

Jake laughs, bright and unguarded. “You’re shittin’ me.” 

“Lieutenant Bradley Bradshaw, at your service.” He mocks a salute. 

Jake looks like he’s searching for something. “Rooster… right?” He catches Bradley by surprise. “I’ve heard of you. Won Top Gun a couple years before me. You know Trace?”

“Yeah, we did a sea tour together a couple years ago.” 

“If I were a lesser comedian like yourself I’d make a joke about birds of a feather….” 

Bradley rolls his eyes, but still catches himself smiling. He shifts up on his knees and presses the emergency call button again. “Third time’s a charm?” 

And it rings. And rings. And— “Yes?” 

“Hey! Um, we’re stuck in the elevator? Can someone let us out? I think we’re around the fifth floor.” 

“One hour.” The line goes dead. 

“Well they clearly love their job. I think I’ll have t’ start taking the stairs too, if only to avoid havin’ to talk to that bundle of joy.” Jake shakes his head. 

“Now you’re getting it.” He sighs.

“So– no on-base housing for you?” 

“I could ask you the same question.” Bradley lobs back. 

“Prefer not to, given the choice. Enjoy the city more this way.” He shrugs his shoulders. 

“Yeah.. I get that.” Bradley lets the silence hang for a moment more. “So, did you have any interrupted Valentine’s Day plans?” 

“I’ve been here three days. My plans tonight were assembling a bookshelf and organizing some cabinets. No girl... Or guy.” He smirks at Bradley. 

“Subtle.” Bradley grins back. 

It feels like only mere minutes have passed when Bradley starts to hear signs of life on the other side of the doors, their conversation flowing so naturally. 

As soon as they’ve made their escape, Jake motions for Bradley to head to the stairs. Five flights and some heavier breathing later, Jake turns to him.

“Well this is me. But I’m sure I’ll see you around?” His eyes are twinkling. “I guess that applies to both the building and North Island.” He pushes the hallway door open.

“Yeah, you too. Wait–” Bradley doesn’t allow himself to think. “If you’d like some company, I’m decidedly average at assembling IKEA furniture?” 

Jake beams at him and props the door open wide. “Let’s go cowboy.” 

—

Hours later, Bradley checks his phone.

6 missed calls from Pete

2 new voicemails from Pete

7 new messages from Pete

Jesus. He opens the messages first.

Bradley?? Why aren’t you answering

Where are you? 

You were supposed to be here half an hour ago.

Bradley? Are you alive? Did Ice find out?

Not probable. He’d only have me killed.

Call me, kid. 

Crisis averted. You’re not off the hook, for the record.

sorry, got stuck in my building’s elevator for a couple hours.

you’d be proud of me tho

started taking ur advice

Say more. Now.

don’t think, just do.

ur flowers found a new home. sorry?

*attached photo of red roses in a vase*

Whose apartment is that?

[lilitudemon]

Chapter one of six

Katsuki stared at the array of equipment at the adult store that he and his group of friends decided to browse around. Kaminari dangled one of the dildos in front of Kirishima and Sero, who laughed at the phallic toy while Mina was browsing around the sexy outfits.

Katsuki… Did not know why they were there.

Was this a joke to them or something?

Suddenly, a large crop stick came into his view and he had to stop himself from punching the person because it was none other than Kaminari himself, laughing.

“Hey, Bakugou, how’s this for a birthday present?” Kaminari smirked, wiggling his eyebrows.

Oh yeah, birthday shopping. Huzzah.

Katsuki scoffed, “Why would I want that? What would even be the point?”

Kaminari pouted, “Come on, live a little! It’s your birthday! I’m sure Midoriya wouldn’t mind if you two got a bit kinky now and again–”

Kaminari didn’t get to finish that statement as a fist swiftly met his genitals, causing him to curl into a weeping mess on the ground.

“Yo, Bakubro, he was joking!” Kirishima yelled.

“Why you gotta do him dirty, man?” Sero screamed.

Katsuki growled, “Like hell I’m going to talk to you all about my damn sex life! I swear, I thought I was friends with adults here! Turns out you’re just a bunch of dumbass invalids!”

“That’s mean, Blasty! We just want you to have a good life! Not a boring vanilla life!” Mina huffed in response with a sexy maid outfit in her hand. Kirishima looked over and seemed to perk up a bit with the outfit of choice.

Katsuki rolled his eyes, “Whatever, if you’re done kink shopping for your boyfriend, I think we’re done here,” he then went to walk away from the store, leaving the others behind.

“Bro, come on! At least buy SOMETHING!” Sero suggested, “You never know what you want until you get it and try it!”

“Nah, I’m good, I’ll be outside,” Katsuki said as he then stormed off.

He swears he will not go back to that store again.

He ended up going back two days later by himself.

He wandered around the store aimlessly, looking at the array of toys that they had displayed. He didn’t know why, but the dildos and butt plugs gained his interest. He looked at the three in one starter pack, as well as some anatomically looking dildos that were apparently a hit in the store as there were only two left.

He raised an eyebrow, wondering why he was suddenly interested in these fucking things. He took one off of the shelf and inspected it. On the box it displayed what appeared to be a dark green dildo that was the color of his boyfriends hair and eyes. He looked at the size and almost dropped the box.

It… It was almost the same size as Izuku’s.

Well shit.

He looked around to see if he recognized anyone in the store and took the dildo to the cash register, paid for it, along with some water based lube, and quickly walked out of the store.

Why did he do that? Why did he do that? Why the FUCK did he do that?

He wasted money on a fucking DILDO and LUBE from an ADULT STORE.

Why when he had the real deal??

Izuku worked as an accountant for an important CEO that distributes the All Might comic books, which is a typical 9-5 job Monday through Fridays. Katsuki worked from home for an online only business, making sure inventory and money were in their places. So basically, he could work at any time at any place.

It made a lot of days very lonely, which is probably the reason why he got the dildo.

He ripped it out of the box and took a closer inspection on the dildo itself, holding it in his hands.

Shiiiiiit, it IS almost the same size.

Katsuki felt his cock twitch with excitement. Well, the store had a no return policy, so it may be time to put it to good use.

He closed his laptop and laid down on the couch, shimmying his pants and boxers off until he was half naked from the waist down. He opened up the lube and swirled it between his fingers as he then penetrated his tight hole with them.

It’s been a bit since the two were intimate, so he needed to work himself up again to take the dildo. He easily entered two fingers in as he scissored himself open. By the time he entered the third, he had to hold back a whine, clasping his mouth with his other hand.

He kept up the pace for some time, allowing himself to adjust to just his fingers before he felt ready to take the damn toy. He lubed it all up and slowly, ever so slowly, pushed it in.

“Shhhhhhhhhhhhh– Oh fuck!” Katsuki groaned as the dildo swiftly entered his prepared hole. He didn’t take into account the GIRTH of it. It was just like Izuku’s, but DAMN it filled him up.

He continued his descent until he was fully sheathed, the bottom of the dildo hitting the rim of his ass. Luckily, it had one of those pieces of silicone that fanned out at the end, so it didn’t accidentally slip in. That would have been an embarrassing trip to the ER.

After adjusting to the dildo, he slowly pulled it back and then in. He threw his head back, moaning as he quickened his pace. He pulled his shirt up and grabbed one of his nipples and twisted it as he kept pounding the dildo inside of him.

He pictured Izuku on top of him, fucking him right then and there, calling him names and taking what was his, like the perfect Dom that he could be.

He could, if he actually tried.

He grasped his neglected cock and pumped it as he continued to abuse his hole until he hit that sweet spot that made him scream. He came right away as his seed painted his hands and stomach until nothing was left to come out.

He took deep breaths, wiping the sweat from his forehead before he pulled the dildo out. He took a look at it some more before he smirked, an idea forming in his head.

Time for another trip to that store, then.

He texted Izuku to meet him at the gym after work, which was met with an approving thumbs up emoji.

He placed his gym bag in the nearest gym locker and waited. He picked the perfect time to do this as there weren’t many people at the gym this late at night. Izuku didn’t like crowded places, so it fit his plan perfectly.

Now it was the matter of getting him on board with the idea that Katsuki planned.

He heard the locker room door open and a familiar hum.

Perfect.

“Hey Kacchan, so why did you wanna– OH MY GOD!” Izuku screamed, seeing the sight he saw, trying to look away, but couldn’t at the same time.

Katsuki smirked, “What? Like what you see, Deku?”

“W-W-W-Why are you wearing that??? In a p-p-public place???” Izuku stammered, trying really hard to get words out of his now not-functioning brain.

Katsuki was wearing nothing but a red collar around his neck, very form fitting latex booty shorts and knee high leather boots with a heel on them.

Oh, did he go out on this one.

He looked at Izuku, who was still trying to process what he was seeing, before he casted his gaze down into Izuku’s gym shorts, a very noticeable hard-on on full display.

“Mhm, so you DO like what you see, judging by your dick poking out of your shorts,” Katsuki said with a huge victorious grin on his face.

Izuku stuttered, “I-I-I-I-”

Katsuki got up from his position and strutted himself toward his boyfriend, who couldn’t keep his eyes off of the booty shorts.

“Oi, my eyes are up here, nerd,” Katsuki grabbed his chin and made him tilt it upward to make the green haired man look at him directly.

Izuku gulped, “I-I don’t… Understand? What is happening?”

Katsuki huffed, “What’s happening is that my birthday is coming up and I want some action. And I get to pick and choose what I want for it, right?”

“Uhh… Yeah, I guess you’re r-right about that…” Izuku said, trying really hard to keep his gaze on the others' eyes, but failing miserably.

Katsuki let go of Izuku’s chin as he then grabbed ahold of his waist, pulling him close until both clothed cocks were rubbing against each other, making the other squirm, “So here’s my birthday present to me from you: fuck me right here, right now. Got it?”

Izuku’s pupils dilated at the request, but he tried to maintain some form of control as he stammered out his next words, “B-But what if we get caught? Someone might come in!”

“What? Afraid someone might see us have some fun with each other? Oh I bet they’d love to see that,” Katsuki grabbed Izuku’s crotch and slowly pumped it, making him gasp, “Secondly, I have been wanting to go beyond our normal missionary sex in our bedroom, so what’s wrong with having the thrill of being caught?”

“I-I didn’t realize you were into exhibitionism, Kacchan…” Izuku mumbled through the touch of his boyfriend’s hand, slowly raising his to grab Katsuki’s waist, his walls caving in.

“There’s a first time for everything,” Katsuki groaned as he leaned over to whisper in Izuku’s ear, “So whatcha gonna do about it?” He asked as he then licked Izuku’s ear.

What came next was him being pushed onto one of the lockers and a pair of lips crashing into his like a tidal wave. He grasped onto anything he could hold onto and settled for Izuku’s shirt as their tongues danced into each other's mouths.

He felt a jolt of pleasure course through him; this was exactly what he wanted, Izuku taking the reins. He just needed a gentle push in the right direction.

And who knew it was going to be in the gym locker room.

Izuku pulled back and forced Katsuki to turn around. His face planted firmly on the top locker, hands grasping at the sides and ass facing Izuku as he felt a swift smack on the cheeks.

“Ah!” Katsuki gasped, the sensation dripping down his crotch.

He could hear Izuku chuckle, “You really like this, Kacchan?”

“What was your first clue?” Katsuki grinned, before another smack was met.

“Answer properly,” Izuku all but stated with firm confidence.

Oh he’s really getting into this.

Katsuki smirked, “Yes, sir.”

He could hear Izuku’s breath hitch at that. He then felt his booty shorts being pulled down and was met with a gasp.

“Kacchan! You didn’t tell me you were preparing yourself for me!” Izuku gaped as he noticed the dildo sticking out.

“Oh, you like that, sir? It’s a present for you~” Katsuki sing-songed, wiggling his hips to emphasize his need.

Izuku huffed, “Babe, if you told me you were desperate for cock, you wouldn’t resort to this,” He grabbed the dildo and started to slowly pump it in and out of Katsuki’s hole, making the other squirm and gasping, “You know my cock is the only one you need, and yet here you are with a silicone one shoved up here. I think that deserves some punishment, don’t you?”

That alone sent shivers down Katsuki’s spine; there’s the Izuku he wanted on full display in the bedroom. Only, they weren’t there, now, weren’t they?

Another swift smack to the ass brought him back to reality, “I said, that deserves some punishment, right?”

“Y-Yes, sir,” Katsuki gasped, his cock aching for touch.

Izuku continued to pump the dildo out of Katsuki’s hole, purposefully missing the prostate as Katsuki squirmed. Izuku brought two fingers to his mouth, “Open wide, Kacchan.”

He did not need to be told twice.

He took the fingers in and they were then jabbing themselves into his mouth, making him gag as they protruded deeper. He felt his eyes well up in tears, which made his cock throb for a release.

“I don’t think you deserve my cock. You went all out just to put a fake one inside of you. Have you ever thought about how I would feel? How I don’t want anything or anyone else inside of you? Maybe you and the dildo should get married,” Izuku teased, continuing to fuck Katsuki with the dildo as he kept finger fucking Katsuki’s mouth.

Katsuki desperately wanted to tell him that, no he deserves his cock, but his mouth was a bit preoccupied at the moment.

Izuku continued the torture, “Did you really think luring me here would get you what you want? Guess what; I’m a very patient man, so I can bide my time here, but I know how impatient you are, sweetheart,” Izuku leaned forward to whisper into Katsuki’s ear, “So are you going to be a good boy and let me fuck you properly?”

Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

Katsuki’s eyes rolled into his head as he nodded profusely. The dildo was swiftly taken out with a squelch sound, fingers never leaving his mouth, before another object made its way into his already abused hole.

Katsuki gasped as Izuku’s member penetrated him until he bottomed out.

“Mmmmm, much better than that dildo, isn’t it, Kacchan?” Izuku whispered into his ear as he started to slowly pull in and out.

Katsuki merely nodded, still sucking the fingers that were in his mouth.

Izuku hummed as he licked his ear, “So keep it down, enjoy the ride, and be a good boy~”

And with that, Izuku slammed himself into Katsuki, making the other scream into the abusing fingers.

Izuku paced himself as he plunged himself into Katsuki’s ass, swirling his hips to hit every crevice of his insides every so often while Katsuki was desperately trying to keep his moans and screams at bay.

Eventually Izuku hit his prostate, sending a wave of pleasure to his now very neglected cock, which was standing proudly, waiting for release.

Izuku chuckled, “I can see that you’re enjoying this. I wonder where you got this outfit from,” He asked as he continued to pound himself inside Katsuki, “You know, when I came in, there were some nice looking women out there. All sweaty from running on the treadmill as they chug their water down to quench their thirst.”

Katsuki was not sure where this was leading, but he got his answer when he felt a hand grab hold of his cock and pumping it thoroughly, “There’s pretty people everywhere, Kacchan, but you are, by far, the prettiest.”

Katsuki saw white and soon was cumming into Izuku’s hands from the compliment alone. Izuku continued to push inside to let him ride his high until his pace started to stagger. Izuku kept going until he groaned and came right inside, painting Katsuki’s insides with his seed.

The two now satiated, Izuku gently pulled out as his cum started to leak out of the abused hole.

Katsuki pointed at a locker just beneath him, unable to form any words at the moment, which Izuku quickly bent over to retrieve the gym bag full of baby wipes and a change of clothing. Izuku gently cleaned Katsuki up until he was satisfied before he cleaned himself up.

Katsuki finally took a deep breath after what felt like forever, wincing as he sat down on the bench to change, “So… Whatcha think?”

Izuku’s shoulders shot up at the sink as he washed his hands, turning toward the blonde, who was shrugging the outfit off and changing into his gym shorts and shirt, “Oh, umm… It was uhh…” His face flushed red as he tried to come up with an answer to what they both just did and where they did it.

Katsuki stifled a laugh, “What happened to all of that confidence? Just a minute ago, you were giving me dick in my ass and now you’re a blubbering mess. Stop Jekyll and Hyde-ing me and spill, Deku.”

“I-I thought it was a… Nice change of pace?” Izuku stammered out.

“A nice change of– Deku, we just fucked in a gym locker room! Before that, all we did was fucking missionary on a God damn bed! If anything, it was a WELCOMED change of pace!” Katsuki shrieked, not caring if anyone could hear the conversation.

Izuku mumbled, “Kacchan! I really don’t know what to say! That I LIKED the thrill of getting caught? That I LIKED controlling the scenario? That I LIKED calling you a good boy?”

“That’s a good fucking start, so yeah,” Katsuki replied as he laced his sneakers on and tossed the boots in the gym bag.

Izuku paused, mind reeling for a long time. Katsuki shrugged, swung his gym bag over his shoulders and grabbed his boyfriend, “Come on, nerd, let’s get going before we get kicked out or something.”

Izuku did not need to be told twice as he followed Katsuki out of the locker room and out of the building. Izuku managed to hold it together as Katsuki walked to his car before he grabbed his hand, making the blonde stop in his tracks.

“Kacchan…” Izuku started.

Katsuki hummed, letting him know that he was listening.

Izuku looked up and gave him a smirk, “It’s still nice out, why don’t we go to the park? Get some alone time there?”

Katsuki blinked, before a knowing grin painted his face.

Oh, it was on like Donkey Kong

[crystallllines]

[John] Bowlby noticed that when children must disown powerful experiences they have had, this creates serious problems, including ‘chronic distrust of other people, inhibition of curiosity, distrust of their own senses, and the tendency to find everything unreal.’

The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel Van der Kolk

[karudsbip]

aw shiiiiiit yo you got birthed dayed!!!

oh fugg,., birthed dayed?? on today of all days?? shit....

[bruisedconscience]

YO THE GRANDMA THREW HER BRACELET DOWN IS THAT HER NECKLACE….. OH SHIIIIIIT

SO THEYRE ALL BREAKING THEIR SHIT BC MINGS IS TOO BIG FOR HER TO CONTROL OH SHIIIIIIIIT

[victorie552onepiecespeedrun]

Watching One Piece: Warship Island Arc – Dragon Island

Episodes 56-61

Thoughts:

- marines are attacking Gunkan, meanwhile all Straw Hats are meeting the dragon

- Operation “Getting A Dragon Out Of His Cave” is on

- marines noticed the dragon!

- they got their dragon into the sea!

- huh, sketchy guy wants Young Potion for yourself, who would have thought

- this poor dragon has flashbacks of when he wasn’t the only dragon around :( he has trouble remembering where his lost island was

- so Zoro ans Sanji doing dishes together is from this episode? From what I saw, fandom really misses that type of domesticity

- yo, what is this

- the island isn’t sunk, it’s hidden!

- anyway, marines got scared by their disapperance, so they’re done following them. Eric The Sketchy Guy will go after them alone

- they’ve got there! But something is wrong, it’s nothing but ruins

- THEY FELL INTO A HOLE 

- they’re in some kind of a temple

- oh, so that’s not a lost island, it’s its neighbor. But there’s a map on the temple’s ceiling so tht’s something

-  back to Gunkan I guess

- “We really have more luck than brains” - Usopp

- how did they survive this

- AHAHAHAHAHA, oh, Zoro, Luffy will be the death of you

- lol, marines really hate the Sketchy Guy

- damn it, it’s I-Don’t-Care-About-His-Rank Nelson! …And his fleet. He’s the one who started the whole Dragon Bones Business

- um, NO, that guy is NOT an Admiral

- the whole fleet is fighting them

- alright, everyone, Usopp wins that fight

- ahaha, this isn’t Zoro’s day

- time for our Monster Trio to shine!

- did Zoro just cut steel. But it’s before Alabasta! Maybe it was just some alloy. Anyway, badass

- SHIT THEY GOT THE DRAGON

- RYUJI GOT MAD, YES, FINALLY (the dragon)

- so he Can fly! I thought he was too old for that!

- SHIIIIIIT

- don’t worry, he’s still alive. Barely

- …what is happening

- oh wow, Ryuji called all the lost dragons to get back to their land that is rising from the water as we speak. This is awesome

- …Ryuji died. Rest in peace, old dragon, you got to see your land and your friends one last time

- YEAH, **** NELSON

- so dragon land shows up every thousand years? I’m glad I got to see this

- dragons :)

- small dragons :) and now I’m crying, damn it

- so there’s no Potion of Youth. I wouldn’t be surprised if it actually was a thing in One Piece, but not in a filler

- ok, the only thing left is we have to take care of (aka murder) Erik The Sketchy Guy and we’re done here. You go, Luffy!

- yoooo

- Apis and her people will protect the island so the dragons will be safe

- It’s time for a goodbye now. To the Grand Line!

Ok, I really liked this arc. But I still don’t know how Luffy could understand what Ryuji was saying.

Pre time-skip Anime Index

[drtinycat]

Nobody:

Me: I could really go for a fic where Anduin gets amnesia during/after Shadowlands and doesn't realize that he's a priest of the Light and just goes full Shadow. Someone could find him and be like "Yo, you're the King, wtf you doin wielding the Void?" and he could be like "nah, that's not me, I'm just Jerek." hijinks ensue as the person tries to convince amnesiac Anduin that he is in fact Anduin (escalating in hilarity) , until something happens and it comes back to him. (I'm thinking a scene a la Tangled) Welp, now we got a struggle between the fact that he's Really Good at wielding the Void and the fact that he is supposed to be a Good Boy and not touching the icky shadow magic. And because this is fic, the drama and bad feelings all get worked out and now not only can he wield the Light like a badass but the Void has joined the party too and he's suddenly a Badass MFer and everyone realizes it. Enemies are like "oh shit" and friends are like "oh shiiiiiit".

Also me: Fuck me, I'm gonna write this aren't I.

[arandomsewer]

Reacting to Batman vs TMNT

Part 5:

-so Mikey gets to ride off into the final battle in the batmobile with Batman.

-(deep breath of pride and content)

-meanwhile, Robin goes in the turtle's wagon.

"So you ride around in this thing, on purpose?"

Well, sorry kid, not everyone has a multy millonary dad! Some of us live in the fucking sewers

-aaand the wagon changes, and it can actually outran the batmobile.

Don't mess with Donnie's stuff.

-oh shit, the turtle's wagon can actually BLOCK RAINING BOMBS

-Robin screaming in the back

And falling of the seat 'cause Leo drives like a hooligan and he's not used to that

-Donnie's up for shiiit

-yeeeeah good shit, Donnie!

-Raph just punches the guy.

He just punches the guy

-batgirl throws 3 retromutagen dosis to the one pigeon monster. And Elephan monster chases them. Where is she?

-Leo, drives like a hooligan

Donnie, hanging upside down knocks on the window "hey! We're still up here!"

You know, cause he's used to Leo's driving, but he's just a bit too much today 'cause an elephant is chasing them

A ninja elephant.

Its a bad day

(Me, in my post apocaliptic car, if I were in the scene) WHAT A LOVELY DAY!! WHAT A BEAUTIFULL DAY!!!

-oh, there's Batgirl

-well, fuck retromutagen. Lets blow up the elephant.

-the foot soldiers manage to hold down the batmobile. Can't blame that on the turtles!

-yo fucking kidding me. A ninja t-rex.

Not even a humanoid t-rex, a full on giant t-rex, its only traces of being human, a broken mask and bandages.

-I guess they decided to experiment a little bit more with the ooze, and they had amber.

-"Mikey, press some buttons"

Mikey "IM GONNA HIT EVERY BUTTON!!"

Robin, with the face of a child who's father is rich, but doesn't get to eat pizza "I allways wanted to do thaaat"

-the Shreder expects to be paid, unlike the Penguin

-aha! Shreder gets ONE jab at the green cape guy

-"tipical. Batman sends children to do his work for him"

Ooooohhhh thats a nice jab!

-oooooh so a Robin did die in this dimension!! And he just mentions it like that. No explanation, no context.

-everybody is fighting. Robin wants to fight and he pics Stockman.

-ooooh no!! DONNIE!!!

-he's in the machine. His arm is broken but he's in the machine.

-carefull with the buttons, Mikey

-wait, was that Splinter's voice!?

-GHASP! Leo's sword!

-kick him in the balls. It would be so cool.

-oh shit he did kick him in the balls!

XD that's ninja stuff

(Ironically true)

-oh shit yeah TELL HIM LEO!!

-I don't need to say it, but I will: the animation is awesome

-Batman said cowabunga

-SHREDER HAS SPLINTER'S SCAR!!!

!!!!!!!!!

-ok Im kind of offended, that Donnie didn't get to do his thing with the machine, but Mikey's solution's cool too.

-"wait, we're riding it. Do we want it to explode?"

-he beats the Shreder and Im like 'KILL HIM. KILL HIM. now that you get the chance, kill him. For a better future for New York!!'

-aaand he just fell on the chemicals

-oooh they save the soldiers! See? That's a side of Batman's character they don't show us often

-squeeeeee we didn't get much of it, but I like the relationship between Donnie and Batgirl

-now picture Alfred using the skateboard

-AAAAAW BATMAN AND ROBIN EATING PIZZA WITH THE TURTLES

your father handing you over some pizza. That's bonding level cowabunga

-the credits roll, and I still have hopes of getting and extra scene with Splinter

-no? Well, the covers are good toó!

-oh hey, we have to recount the points! So, it was...

Griffindor: 40 points. It was just not that kind of movie.

Ravenclaw: 85 points. I knew it coul get better!

Slytherin: 100 points! Really good, guys!

And the first place and the cup of the house, is for Hufflepuff, with his 150 points!!

-oh come on!! We get another look at Shreder but not at Splinter?

-well. To sum it up. THIIIIS WAS SOME GOOOOD SHIIIIT!!! GOOOD SHIT GOOD SHIT RIGHT THERE MHHHHMH IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF! GOOOOOOOD SHIIIIIIT!!!!!

[xukunstellation]

Big Bro || Lin Yanjun

Title: Big Bro Pairing: Reader x Yanjun Genre: OlderBrother!AU + slice of life) Word Count: 1483 words Summary: You and your older brother may not always get along, but you know that he’ll always have your back. Warning: mentions of cheating

A/N: This is the first time I’ve ever written a sibling au, so this is exciting! I would love to have Yanjun as an older brother tbh. Happy reading!

oof can you imagine yanjun as your older brother tho

i can only imagine he’d be two things

a blessing

and a headache lmao

onward to the fic

you and yanjun shared the typical sibling relationship 

which means constant fighting and teasing from both parties

the two of you can’t go a day without being at each other’s neck tbh

1 like = 1 prayer for your poor parents who have to go through their kids bs everyday

normal occurrences usually go like this

“yanjun don’t eat the food that’s in the fridge”

“oh, you mean the three slices of pizza on the top shelf? too late lmao”

“lin yanjun istg i will eND YOU”

or

“yo bro i need $20″

“get lost, loser. why would i give you my hard earned money?”

“oh, ig that’s fine. in that case, you wouldn’t mind if i told mom about how it was you who knocked over her favorite vase but blamed it on the cat instead, right?”

“...”

“slide in an extra $10 and i also wont tell her that it ocurred the same night you snuck out to zhangjing’s party”

“i hate you”

also let’s not forget 

“LIN YANJUN GTFO OF THE SHOWER! IT’S BEEN TWO HOURS AND I HAVE TO PEE”

ofc things weren’t always so bad

usually when hell freezes over

for example

yanjun and you had this sort of ritual where he drives you both to the nearest fast food place at two in the morning once a week

it was your way of bonding with each other and what better way to bond than over food?

yanjun was also your own personal chauffeur and drove you around his fancy motorcycle whenever you needed to get places

this idiot named his motorcycle angle angel 

in return, you often helped sneak him into the house whenever he was out longer than he was supposed to

you joked that he was going through his rebellious phase

except that it occurred 24/7 365 days a year

one time he tried to climb in through your bedroom window at 4 in the morning

you almost dialed 911 on him bc you thought he was an intruder

ffs yanjun wyd

in short, you both had your moments where you actually got along for once

unfortunately, this was not one of those times

you angrily stormed into your older brother’s room, slamming his door open as it hit the wall with a loud bang

“what the hell is your problem? can’t you knock?” yanjun glared, removing his headphones off his head

“cough it up,” you demanded, holding out your hand impatiently

“what are you even talking about?”

“my watch! the expensive silver one that dad gave me for my birthday”

“look (y/n), sorry to burst your bubble but i don’t have your watch”

you raised your voice in anger, “stop lying! i know you stole it from me after i saw you eyeing it the other day”

annoyed with the accusation, yanjun’s glare intensified and his voice yelled back even louder, “i didn’t steal anything, idiot! maybe if you learn to be more responsible, you’ll stop losing things!”

you groaned in frustration, flipping him the finger and stomping out of his room. you didn’t have time for this.

after the fight, you were running late for your date with your partner who you’ve been seeing recently

when you arrived at the restaurant, you were shocked to see your partner in the arms of another person. you watched as the two of them exchange kisses with their arms wrapped around each other

*insert ‘oh hell no’ vine here*

you marched your way over to them, picked up a glass of water and splashed it all over your partner’s face

they were obviously a v thirsty mofo

the entire restaurant went silent bc oh shiiiiiit

somebody call worldstarhiphop 

“you cheater! you make me absolutely sick. we’re over. i deserve a lot better than your sorry ass” you scowled

yaaaas you go king/queen

the entire restaurant literally broke out into applause and whistles for you

wow where can i get that kind of support

even with the cheers, you were understandably still really pissed

huffing, you walked over to the nearest bus station down the street

you cursed when you realized you had just missed your bus back home and the next one wouldn’t be for another hour

rummaging in your bag for your phone, your fingers grazed against something cool

pulling it out, you realized it was your silver watch that you had accused yanjun of stealing earlier that day

a wave of guilt washed over you

not only did you get cheated on but you felt like the world’s shittiest little sibling ever

scrolling through the contacts on your phone, your thumb hovered over yanjun’s contact name

you debated whether or not you should call him to give you a ride. both of your parents were at work and you knew he was still most likely at home at this time

but would he even pick up your call?

after a few seconds of hesitance, you settled for texting him instead

you: they cheated on me. please take me home.

honestly you didn’t expect him to text you back since he usually needed time to cool down after fighting. you mentally prepared your self for the long walk home.

to your surprise, yanjun immediately texted you back

the adopted sibling 🙄 : stay where you are. i’m coming to get you.

after texting him the details of your location, it didn’t take long for him to show up on his noble steed motorcycle. offering you a small smirk, you returning it with a small smile. he tossed you the spare helmet and you strapped it on before hopping on behind him

the two of your drove in silence but not necessarily an awkward silence. it was more so yanjun not wanting to force you to say anything until you were ready. you were also trying to wrap your mind around how hectic this day was.

“yanjun? are you still mad at me?” you asked when he stopped at a red light

“mad at you? nah. i’m over it. your ex? i’m going to kill them” he replied

you smacked his shoulder, rolling your eyes with a snort as he pretended to wince in pain “if you end up in jail, can i keep all of your things?”

“wow i go through the lengths of getting revenge on your ex for you and all you care about is keeping my things? i’m no star student but i’m pretty sure that’s not how it works”

you grinned, “in my world it does”

once he started driving again, you started to notice you both were going in the wrong direction

“hey, i know i’m not the best at directions but i’m pretty sure we just missed the turn to our house”

“that’s bc we aren’t going home. we’re gonna go to our favorite diner so you can eat your weight in food”

“i do not-- ok you know what, you got me there”

“thought so”

being the awesome older brother he was, he let you order whatever you wanted on the menu and even paid for it all. he saw you were still a little down, so he even tried to make you laugh by telling you more of his lame jokes

which honestly made you want to cry more than your break up bc his jokes were so bad

when will he ever learn tbh

“i’m sorry for accusing you of stealing my watch earlier today. you’re right, i should be more responsible with my things,” you apologized sheepishly, poking at your ice cream sundae

“don’t worry about it, kid, it happens. you’re definitely more responsible than i am. that’s for sure,” he chuckled, leaning forward to steal a scoop of your sundae

“woah buddy, hands off! you have your own!”

“yours looks better than mine!”

“we literally have the same order!”

and so you both went back to being the bickering pair of siblings we all know and love

the next time you saw your ex, you saw them freaking out from their car being towed away

was your eyes deceiving you or did you see slashed tires?

when you went to question yanjun about it, he acted as if he had no idea what you were talking about

“bro, what did you do to my ex’s car?”

“nothing you can prove”

yes you’re big brother was hella annoying

and yes he did drive you absolutely nuts

but you knew that at the end of the day

you knew that you both loved each other

you would always be there for him

and yanjun would always be there for you

fin

i dont have any brothers irl

but if i did

i wouldn’t mind him being yanjun tbh

[justmereachingforstars]

Listen I might be drunk but do you have any idea how much representation really matters??

Like you hear it as reasons to make gay ships realty and most only see it as ' oh ma god they tryna make them yaoi into the shows bc they obsessed with porn'

Listen the fuck up now

There might be kinky teens out there who thing gay people are their kink and I ain't with that, my sexuality is not your kink but

Hear me the fuck out, as a queer, trans person of colour, listen

Do you have any idea how much it hurts to grow up and never, ever see you on screen

The first time I saw a latina was with high school musical

We were hated here, as bolivans we were outcast not only in society but our own minds

It hurts

I wanted to change my name to a white name

I avoided sun to be as pale as possible

I tried to be as cis/het/white as it gets but I failed and was bullied and hated and I believed it all

Why do I tend to watch shows that have saga people? Why do I support the heavily poc movies??

TAKE A GUESS

I like seeing us being people, I like to see myself as not a not person with barely personality to fit the white main cast, I hate having to relate to someone I have nothing in common, no culture, no strugflea struggles

It makes you feel like you don't matter, like you don't belong, that your feeling don't matter and that you are imaging your troubles

It's almost a tactic, if you shoe children that what they feel is not real they will grow up to doubt themselves

I'm sick of it

I'm sick of seeing others give up , try to fit in as others want them to

Is it really that much of a feat to give me lgbtqia characters , to give me actual characters of colour

Is it that hard for me to be a person what the fuck

Fuck you.fuck all the cowards who don't think we're worth the fucking risk they apparently have to take to make shows and movies about us

Fuck it

Let children feel good about themselves

Let children see themselves and not doubt their identities

Not want to die because no one wants them

No one wants to see them

Bc that's fucked yo

Fuck you

Don't even get me started on mental illness

Fuck that stigma I might make another post about that because shiiiiiit

Shit are you all wanting us dead

You want us gone so you don't have to think about how you are def have the ability to help but you don't want to get out of your comfort zone to give a fuck

I coulda needed someone to tell me that what is happening isn't the end of the world bc trust me it feels like it

Fuck