#oh also he abuses his own nephew. his love is conditional.

[yuridovewing]

Now I think Tigerclaw was actually a family man to some extent in this au... I think he genuinely loved Goldenflower and all of their kits together, they were childhood friends, I think he mourned Swiftpaw and Lynxkit's deaths, I think he was overjoyed when Tawnypaw came to ShadowClan because he was glad to know one of his kits would be safe. He cared deeply for his mother and sister and originally doted on his sister's kits before Ravenpaw saw him murder Redtail.

Granted, is he a GOOD dad? ... No not really. He got his own son killed (albeit as collateral damage), Tawnypelt has ptsd from what she witnessed in TigerClan, Bramblestar has a complex, and tbh he just treats Mothwing and Hawkfrost like dogshit. But there's some conflict there, they all have fond memories of him and he tries to appeal to that to get them to join him and conform to his ideology. Tawnypelt has this worst of all because she's now the only living kit who spent the most time with him and saw him at his best and his worst.

He also easily turns on them, his love comes with conditions.

[crossdressingdeath]

Seeing your post about how JYL has a 'ranking system' in her head when it comes to WWX and JC hits so hard, but honestly, the more I read into the Jiang family dynamics, the more I agree. JYL obviously loves WWX, but I don't know if she's capable of putting him above JC. And we see her defending him, and she obviously gives her life for him, but she was also reacting in the moment. Not to speak lightly of her sacrifice of course, but I just feel like there are certain limits to how 1/7

far she's actually willing to go for him. I was initially one of JYL's staunch defenders, and always said that, unlike JC, she didn't have the same amount of political power as him, wasn't in a position to do anything about the Wens, ect. But...I'm starting to question if that's really true. JYL may not have had much direct political power herself, but she was the sister of a sect leader, and even if JC was unwilling to help, JYL had just married into the richest and most powerful sect 2/7

at the time. It was a love marriage, JZX adored her and would've done anything for her if she'd just bothered to ask him for it. Madam Jin also cared for her and respected her, and between her and JZX, had JYL actually bothered to tell them anything, I'm sure they would have been able to sort something out. Or she could have had it as a condition of her marriage - I'm not marrying into the sect that's trying to kill my brother unless you tell your father to stop. Had it been reversed and 3/7

The Lans were calling for JYL and JC’s deaths, no way in hell WWX would’ve just married into the sect, regardless of LWJ’s involvement. Instead she just doesn’t really do anything. We see no proof that she ever tried to see WWX after the wedding dress incident, which — god I instantly saw it as a sweet gesture, but now it just bothers me, because your brother is living in squalor, and you decide to show if the expensive dress that you’ll be 4/7

wearing when marrying into the sect that's trying to kill him, you bring along one bowl of soup for him, and don't even try to explain WHY you're marrying into said sect. Beyond that, we don't see a single moment up until her death where JYL actually seems concerned about WWX, puts in effort to try to see him - she doesn't even ask him how he's doing the one time she does come to see him. When we compare that to how WQ treats WN, yeah, she's outwardly not as loving or sweet, but she 5/7

goes to the ends of the earth for her brother, even going as far as to betray her sect and risk WRH's wrath because he asks her to. And now we come back to that ranking system you mentioned before - yeah, it really does seem like JYL places her blood family first, which definitely hurts, but in comparison, despite only knowing him for a shorter amount of time, WQ truly grows to think of WWX as a second brother. And she treats him as such, at an equal level with WN - after JZX dies 6/7

WQ doesn't attack WWX for what happened. She doesn't try to come up with a way to sacrifice WWX instead and let WN survive in his stead. She and WN, two people who have become WWX's family, both give their lives to protect both him and the rest of their remaining family members. And it's just frustrating to think that the one member of WWX's adopted family who we all thought treated him like an actual brother, might not have really been on his side after all. 7/7

Yes! To start with the wedding dress thing, because it drives me nuts when people treat that like some super sweet act of love: JYL shows up in the Burial Mounds with no money, no sign of having tried to talk the sects around, no news outside of her own, no food beyond a couple bowls of soup (one of which she gives to the guy who can’t eat), and doesn’t so much as ask WWX if he’s okay. She literally came all that way to have a family meal, ask WWX to name the future nephew it’s becoming increasingly clear he’ll never meet, and tell him about her impending marriage into the family that’s currently doing everything in its power to destroy WWX’s life. Like, if you think about it that entire visit is such a slap in the face; “Here’s a bowl of soup while the people under your protection are starving, oh by the way I’m going to marry the son of the guy actively trying to get you killed, okay bye”. All you can say in regards to her helping WWX is that she does potentially manage to persuade JZX to invite him to JL’s one month celebration, but if memory serves the novel never actually specifies whose idea that was and it was JZX who decided to go get WWX after JGY told him about seeing JZXun heading in the direction of the Burial Mounds. And even then JZX does the same thing JYL does; sees WWX outnumbered and surrounded and tells him to stand down. At least in JZX’s case you could argue that the actual fighting hadn’t broken out and JZX probably trusted in his authority to be able to sort the situation out so long as WWX wasn’t actually acting aggressive (or defensive, rather), and he’s also physically strong enough that he may well have been able to intervene if the cultivators had attacked. JYL, when she does the same thing, has no authority and no physical power to defend WWX with. And yeah, both JZX and Madam Jin adore JYL, and neither of them seem super fond of JGS (JZX respects his father, but I don’t get the sense he loves him); if JYL had asked them for help it’s entirely possible they would’ve started at least circulating her version of events and demanding a proper investigation into what happened. But there’s no mention of her so much as trying, and she doesn’t offer to ask them when she visits WWX.

And yeah, compare WQ to JYL and it’s... well. WQ is so quick to offer WWX her love and care? She’s harsh, but she loves him and views him and WN on such equal footing that she and WN willingly hand themselves over to the Jins for WWX’s sake without her so much as bringing up the possibility of saving WN instead. There’s no ranking for WQ; WWX and WN are her brothers, and she loves them, and she’d do anything to protect them. When it becomes clear she can’t save WN (like hell the sects would let him live, and by this point it’s pretty clear that WWX won’t be able to protect them forever) she throws her whole weight behind defending the brother she thinks she might still be able to save, even if it means bringing WN with her to die. WQ knows WWX for... a year or two? Maybe? The timeline is a little hazy. Not long compared to JYL, anyway. And yet she’s willing to walk all the way to Lanling to die in the hope of saving him. It’s for her whole family, yes, but she makes a point of including him. Basically, I think this fandom needs more stuff wherein the Jiangs and Wens survive and the Wens are fully like “Our brother now, you don’t deserve him”.

The thing with JYL is... she loves WWX, she genuinely does, but he is never going to be first for her. To the point where she outright enables JC’s abuse, in places; she always expects WWX to be the one to grin and bear it. Hell, one of their first conversations involves JYL cheerily allowing WWX to cover up JC locking him out of his bedroom and scaring him out into the woods by threatening to set dogs on him! Let me rephrase that: she allows a traumatized nine-year-old to hide the fact that the kid her dad expects him to share a room with locked him out of said room on his FIRST NIGHT and threatened him with his LITERALLY WORST FEAR, and as far as we know makes no attempt to tell JFM herself. To keep JC out of trouble. That is such a thing! WWX was scared to the point of running away and JFM expects him to share a room with the person responsible for that and JYL goes along with him promising not to tell JFM so that JC won’t get in trouble! And from that day forwards everything is just “Boys will be boys” to her. Like, let me put it this way. Before LWJ (and arguably the Wens before that, although WWX saw himself more as protector than protected there) JYL was the person WWX trusted to protect and care for and comfort him above all others, yeah? She’s the one he thinks of as having his back? He doesn’t tell her about JC trying to kill him. JC tries to kill WWX three times before JYL’s death, and WWX doesn’t say a word to her about any of them. You could argue that he doesn’t want to involve her, but... JYL pretty clearly takes JC’s side every time JC starts having a go at WWX. When he chases him out of their room, when he starts snapping about how annoying WWX is, when he stabs WWX... She never outright says it, but there really does come a point where by staying neutral you’re siding with the aggressor, and she reaches that point a lot. Hell, the stabbing is one of those aforementioned near-murders! JC stabbed him! According to WWX (who downplays serious injuries, he never exaggerates them) he had to hold his guts in! WWX is talking about a pretty fucking serious injury (and JYL grew up in a cultivation sect, I don’t believe for a second she doesn’t at least know what constitutes a serious injury) while JC whines about a broken arm like it’s worse than having to physically hold your guts in until you can reach a doctor and JYL acts like those are equal! JC could easily have killed WWX and has enough training with the sword to know better than to go for a blow like that in a staged fight and JYL doesn’t even suggest he should apologise.

Honestly? The more I think about JYL the more it pisses me off that she’s treated like WWX’s best sister more than WQ is. Imagine WQ seeing one brother stab the other in the gut and take the former’s side because the latter broke the former’s arm. Imagine WQ so much as considering allowing a child to cover up the kid he’s supposed to share a room with locking him out and scaring him into running away. She wouldn’t! Because WQ sees her brothers as equals. She won’t pick WN over WWX just because they’re blood siblings; she loves them both, and will choose based on who she thinks is in the right. And she wouldn’t just stay neutral to avoid rocking the boat, oh no. If WQ heard WWX say that WN stabbed him and did enough damage that he had to hold his guts in... oh boy would WN have a bad day. The thing with JYL is that she seems like a good sister in comparison to the rest of the Jiangs; stick canon JYL into a family that genuinely loves WWX and sees him as equal to their other children, and she would not look anywhere near as good.

[echo-bleu]

Okay, I'm going to say headcanons for Eliot, Hardison, and Parker for ❤

♥ - family headcanon

Oh it’s so interesting that you ask that one the same day I’ve gone back through my Leverage fics and put two new ones in my AO3 drafts!

[abuse, burnout, suicide attempt and self-harm]

So I’ve written a bit about the past I thought up for Eliot and Parker in A Place We Can Share. Parker’s past there is my actual headcanon for the show: she never had a family (i.e. parents) as a child. The house she blew up belonged to a foster family (and they weren’t inside), and the brother she lost was a foster brother. I thought he was the family’s blood son, and when he died, they gave Parker back to the social worker. It was the only family she ever felt good with, but they didn’t think of her as their daughter. Then she was too autistic and traumatized and no parent bothered trying to connect with her. For the same reason, she didn’t get much schooling and learned everything on her own.

Later she was taken in by Archie, but as an apprentice. He came to think of her as a daughter of sorts, but not actually before she’d already moved on, and she always thought he didn’t love her, although she loved him.

Hardison has his Nana, also a foster mother but she was loving, if tough, and kept him until he aged out. We know he helps/helped her with money, she’s probably fairly poor and taking in as many children as she can. I don’t have many headcanons, but there are some amazing fics involving Nana out there.

Eliot…we have some info on that on the show, about his father, and also about Aimee with whom he almost made a family. But in my own fics, I’ve gone a slightly different direction, because they’re a crossover with The Librarians, and he’s also autistic there. So this is more AU than headcanon, but here it is anyway (it’s VERY detailed):

Jacob Stone is his twin brother. Their mother died of cancer when they were nine, and their father became drunk and abusive then. They have an older sister named Ruth, who is the mother of the nephew Eliot mentioned once (he has a nephew and a niece, both autistic). Ruth raised her brothers from age nine, but Eliot was the one who took the brunt of their father’s abuse on himself as a teenager to protect both Ruth, because he was becoming a good wrestler, and Jake, because Jake was already diagnosed autistic, mostly non verbal, and their father hated him for it.

Eliot was supposed to take over the family business, but instead when they graduated, Eliot saw Jake off to college and enlisted. But Jake didn’t handle college well, burned out, and Eliot found him after he attempted suicide in his dorm room. He took Jake back to Ruth’s, who was pregnant with her first child, and just months later, came back from his first tour injured and with PTSD.

Later on Eliot was brought into black ops, who faked his death while he was undercover. He only found out months later, and that’s when he ended up working for Moreau (I have detailed reasons why too, but that’s another story). He only called Jake once he was out of Moreau’s grasp, three years later, and his father and Ruth still don’t know he’s alive. Jake and him have a phone and email relationship but they haven’t seen each other in years.

That was an overly detailed background story for Eliot! But Eliot, Hardison and Parker find family in each other, and in Nate and Sophie. My headcanon is that somewhere in season 4-5 the OT3 enter a queer platonic relationship of sort, though they only discuss it formally after the end of season 5. They have a bit of a rough time at first adapting to Nate and Sophie being gone, but it just strengthen their relationship.

I headcanon Hardison as ace and Parker as demi-sexual and mostly aromantic. Their relationship is mostly platonic, a little romantic, and Eliot still sees other people, on the condition that they’re aware and okay with his relationship with Hardison and Parker. But they’re truly each other’s family.

[prouvaireafterdark]

Earn It

Finally finished that Malex sex dungeon fic!

Inspired by @acomebackstory‘s post 

Can also be read on AO3

***

The number of secret, underground hideouts in Alex Manes’ life has, at this point, reached a level which some might consider excessive.

Alex would be inclined to agree if he and his friends didn’t have so many secret, underground things to do.

After all, Michael needs his bomb shelter alien lab to do his research, and Alex and Kyle might as well consider the Project Shepherd bunker a second home what with all the hours they’ve been logging going through the data they pulled from Caulfield. They’re essential, really, to every facet of their efforts to protect the pod squad from the government and Alex’s almost comically homicidal family.

Jim Valenti’s underground rehab retreat, however, is another matter entirely.

When Alex had first discovered it with Kyle and seen the bed front and center, for a brief moment he’d thought they’d just climbed into Jim Valenti’s own private sex dungeon. In those few seconds before all the pieces fell into place, the thought was… uncomfortable, to say the least.

Months later, as Alex watches Michael struggle against the ropes holding him in place on black satin sheets, the prostate massager in his ass causing him to leak a steady stream of pre-come, he thinks maybe, just maybe, converting that room under the cabin into a kinky sex dungeon was the greatest idea he’s ever had.

It started with a carefully planned coffee date at Bean Me Up. Alex had led Michael to a table tucked away in the back corner of the place next to a shelf with battered board games he’s never seen anyone use. Alex waited until the couple at the table next to them left before he brought it up.

“So, I’ve got something to ask you,” Alex said, idly swirling his spoon around the edge of his mug.

“About?” Michael asked, taking a sip of his own coffee.

“The bunker in my basement,” Alex preambled. He waited until Michael swallowed his coffee before he leaned forward and asked, “What do you think about turning it into a playroom?”

Michael’s brow crinkled in confusion. “A playroom? What, you got some nieces and nephews coming to visit or something?”

Alex laughed before he could stop himself and the expression on Michael’s face soured a little. Alex shook his head, grabbing Michael’s hand across the table. Letting his voice drop to that pitch that drives Michael crazy in the best way, he clarified, “Not that kind of playroom, baby.”

Alex saw it the second comprehension dawned on him.

“Alex,” Michael gasped, eyes wide and the grip on his hand tightening. His head swiveled to look at the empty tables around them before it snapped back to him.

“Is that a no then?” Alex asked, an amused smile tugging at his lips.

“Uh, no, it’s a ‘Why the fuck is my boyfriend asking me about building a room specifically designed for him to fuck me in when we’re in public?’” Michael whispered back, leaning closer over the table so no one would hear him.

Alex met him nearly halfway, a few inches of space between them as he shot back, “You know as well as I do that if we were having this conversation somewhere private, you’d already be under the table with your head in my lap.”

Michael hadn’t even looked ashamed at the accusation. Instead, he fixed Alex with a hungry stare, his tongue darting out to lick his bottom lip.

“You’re thinking about it right now, aren’t you?” Alex asked, and damn him, but now he was too, could see it clear as day in his mind: Michael on his knees under the table with his arms tied behind his back, his mouth open and begging to be filled by Alex’s cock.

“‘M always thinking about it,” Michael said, shifting in his seat. “That’s a problem because…?”

Not a problem, baby, never a problem, Alex wanted to say. He loves how much Michael wants it, loves how soft he goes when he gets it.

Instead, he’d said, “Because I want to actually talk about this, Guerin. I want to know what you would want in a space like that, what you would expect from me, what things you’d want to try. Think we can do that without getting too distracted?”

“I make no promises,” Michael says, leaning back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest, “but I’m all ears.”

The sounds of Michael’s wet gasps ricocheting off the concrete fill Alex’s ears like music. He’s three fingers deep in Michael’s ass, a fourth teasing at his rim, and Michael’s desperately rocking his hips into his hand as much as the ropes tying him spread-eagle to the bed allow.

Just when that delicious chorus of ah-ah-ah’s is reaching a crescendo, Alex pulls his fingers free from Michael’s body.

Not for the first time tonight, Michael practically screams in frustration.

“Alex,” he moans at the ceiling, chest heaving. “Please, you’re killing me.”

To his credit, Alex doesn’t laugh—they both know Michael can get out of these ropes any time he wants. Instead, he moves further up the bed and places a kiss over Michael’s forehead before leaning back to really look at him.

Michael is a vision like this; body flushed and glistening with sweat, his curls wild and damp at his temples, a few desperate tears beginning to gather at his lashes. His trembling thighs are covered in bruises that Alex had spent the better part of an hour lovingly sucking into his skin as he played with Michael’s hole using everything from his fingers and tongue to the fancy new prostate massager that came in the mail this morning.

In all that time, though, he hasn’t let Michael come once.

“What’s your color, baby?” Alex asks, stroking over Michael’s cheek with his hand that isn’t covered in lube. He watches Michael’s face carefully, looking for any sign that this actually is too much for him.

“Green,” Michael answers, nuzzling his face into Alex’s touch like a cat. “So fucking green, but—please, I don’t know how much longer I can hold out.”

He doesn’t say it, but Alex hears the I don’t want to disappoint you all the same. Alex loves him so much it takes his breath away.

He leans down to kiss Michael again, on the lips this time. “Do you think you deserve to come?” he asks against his lips. Michael shudders at those words, a crease forming at his brow as he tries to figure out how Alex wants him to answer.

Alex kisses his way down Michael’s body, particularly relishing the hitch in Michael’s breath when he places a single open-mouthed kiss to the shiny swollen head of his cock. He doesn’t linger and instead sits up and watches him, sure hands soothing his quivering thighs.

“I asked you a question, Michael,” he prompts firmly. “Should I let you come?”

Michael bites his lip and nods.

“Do you think you’ve earned it?”

Michael hesitates a second before he nods again.

“I think you have too,” Alex agrees, releasing Michael’s ankles from the cuffs keeping his legs bound. Michael breathes a sigh of relief so heavy that Alex can’t help but fuck with him a Iittle longer.

“Thank you,” Michael sighs as Alex settles between his newly-freed legs, hauling his hips up and onto his lap. He reaches around for the lube laying on the bed.

“Don’t thank me yet, baby,” Alex says, flicking off the cap and pouring some into his hand. He slicks his cock with it as he adds, “You haven’t heard my condition yet.”

“Which is?”

“You can come whenever you want,” Alex says, “but it better be before I finish or you don’t get to come at all.”

“Alex that’s not—,” Michael starts, but then Alex is notching his cock at Michael’s abused hole and pushing, sliding inside in one smooth movement, and Michael gasps, “Oh, fuck.”

Alex holds Michael close by the hips, leaning over him as he starts thrusting with no hesitation—Michael’s been ready for ages and Alex knows he can take it. Michael’s heat surrounds him, scorching and so tight, even after everything he’s done to him tonight that Alex can’t help but groan, “God, you feel so perfect, baby, so perfect every time. It’s like you were made for me.”

“Pretty sure I was,” Michael says in agreement, wrapping his legs around Alex and bearing down into his lap. Tenderness for Michael seizes Alex and he leans forward to capture his mouth in a kiss, pouring into it everything he’s feeling, all the love and lust and pleasure he has to give.

They part eventually and when they do, Alex drinks his fill of the gorgeous picture Michael makes, stuffed full and panting, sweat beading on his forehead and collecting in the hollow of his throat.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” Alex whispers, grinding his cock as deep as it’ll go.

“Fuuuuck,” Michael practically squeals with pleasure as Alex gets the angle just right on the backstroke to nail his prostate. “Right there, fuck me, oh my god.”

Alex does just that, targeting his thrusts as much as he can until Michael is a fucking mess, frantically pulling at the bonds keeping his hands above his head.

“Fuck, Alex, Alex, Alex,” Michael chants his name like a prayer. “Please, ‘m gonna come, don’t stop, please don’t stop.”

“Yeah, that’s it,” Alex pants, feeling Michael’s walls start to clench around him. “That’s it, baby, come on, you’ve earned it. Been so good for me all night. Come for me, Michael.”

Alex reaches between them for Michael’s cock and starts to jerk him off. He gets a grand total of four strokes in before Michael is screaming, his back arched clear off the bed as rope after rope of come shoots from his dick, painting his own chest and dripping down Alex’s fist.

Alex fucks him through it, leaning down to lick up a stripe of come that managed to make it onto Michael’s chin. Michael turns his face down to steal a breathless kiss, moaning at the taste. His ass is like a vice around Alex’s cock and it sets off his own climax, Alex’s body shaking with the force of it as he spills hot inside him. He collapses, gasping, against Michael’s chest, not giving a single fuck about the mess.

They lie there for a minute, catching their breaths, before Alex can even think about moving again. Suddenly there are hands cradling the back of his head, fingers carding through his hair. Alex looks up to find that Michael has released himself from his cuffs. He can’t even bring himself to be put out about Michael breaking the rules, not with the soft look on his face.

Alex props himself up on one elbow and uses his free hand to gently grab each of Michael’s wrists, inspecting them in turn to make sure they aren’t bruised. Satisfied, he presses a kiss to each one and smiles at Michael’s sleepy face before he pulls out. Michael whimpers when he does, but doesn’t say anything as Alex rolls them over so Michael can rest his head on his chest.

“You still with me?” Alex asks softly after Michael’s had time to wind down some more.

Michael nods.

“We’ll talk more about it later, but are you okay?” he asks, running a hand down Michael’s back. “How are you feeling?”

It takes a moment for Michael to find his voice. “Like I just got edged into oblivion,” he says, ending on a laugh.

“You like it?” Alex asks, already sensing the answer.

“Yeah,” he sighs, snuggling closer. “Like you having that power over me. Felt good.”

“Good,” Alex says happily, kissing the top of Michael’s head. “Me too, in case that wasn’t obvious.”

Silence washes over them as they lie there, wrapped up in each other, neither of them ready to start cleaning up just yet. After a few minutes, Michael lifts his head from his chest to look at him.

“I love you,” he says. It’s not the first time, but it makes Alex’s heart flutter. He can’t resist running his fingers through Michael’s soft curls, eyes drifting closed as Michael leans up to kiss him.

“I love you too,” Alex says against his lips, “so much.”

Michael kisses him again, sweet and deep, until they have to stop because they’re both grinning too much.

“You know,” Michael says lightly when they pull apart, “for a minute there I thought you weren’t gonna let me come.”

“Well, it’s like I said,” Alex smiles, his thumb moving down to rest against the plush cushion of Michael’s bottom lip, “You earned it.”

[lilacmoon83]

A Darker Curse

Summary: Mr. Gold serves Kathryn with David’s divorce papers, August thinks about his ill feelings toward Geppetto, and Regina makes a very bold move in her quest to take Cora down and save her family.

Also on Fanfiction.net and A03

Chapter 7: Just Desserts

Mr. Gold entered the bank that afternoon with a pleased expression on his face. Though a pleased look on his face to everyone else usually looked to them like he was ready to eat someone alive. His expression today was similar as it was when he collected rent from the various residents in town and it was no secret that he enjoyed being feared. If one didn't know Mr. Gold's reputation, they might question why the people fear this man that walked with a limp and used a cane to get around. But the fear he invoked was not a physical fear, no it was far worse. Mr. Gold seemingly had endless financial resources and could hire any muscle he needed. He was a man that could make anything happen and if you wanted something, you only needed to go to him. Of course, that required making a deal with him and that usually came at some kind of great personal cost.

But once in a while, in his considerable years, he had the opportunity to make a deal where what he got out of it would be nothing more than smug satisfaction.

David Nolan had come into his shop and made a deal with him. The man had no money, not a shred of self confidence left, and was as desperate as he had seen anyone in a long time. Almost as desperate as his aging wife that he did not remember. If he wanted to, he could have made them both owe him a great deal and it was tempting. He would be lying if he said he wasn't curious as to how far this Snow White would go to get her husband back. This was a woman that had pined and suffered without the man she loved for twenty years, only to find out that her one comfort that he was at least safe was false.

And then there was David. Some would say he was damaged beyond repair; a shadow of his former self. But he knew better. He had been a victim of abuse and knew that despite that, a person could come back from that. He himself had turned to the darkness to do so. But David was stronger than he was. He would be repressed if he did not admit that they were once not so different. Both born into poverty, though David at least had the grace of a loving mother, it had left them both with a darker impression of the world around them. But unlike him, David had not turned to darkness, though he knew that meeting Snow and being thrust into the role of a Prince had helped that. He was definitely a man that believed in true love; he had banked on this particular true love, after all. But he had never put much belief in its staying power. Love was fleeting, but somehow this love had endured more hardship than any love should be required to. He knew many would think that there was no way to even repair this relationship. Even if David remembered, surely too much had happened to them for them to actually find their way back to each other. But Mr. Gold not only knew this pair would, he was also banking on it again. So that's why, as he delivered these papers, he was already collecting in the form of satisfaction. And it would be a satisfaction that would keep on giving. The look on Kathryn Nolan's face would be a start, but the real satisfaction would come when Cora realized that her perfect curse was going to crumble and there was nary a thing she could do about it. Sure, he knew she'd employ dastardly tactics and stop at nothing to keep Snow and David apart. But it wouldn't work. She had screwed up there and he couldn't wait to see the look on her face when she realized it.

She could have cursed David into a happy marriage and possibly managed to succeed in keeping them apart for a time in that way. But all she had done was created an abused, desperate man that was finally ready to fight, because he had the right person in his corner now. And it was about to blow up in her face. He felt mild sympathy for Kathryn Nolan though. The person that Cora had cursed her to be was going to have lasting psychological effects on her as well when she remembered. Princess Abigail would be horrified by all that she had done to David over the years and the fall out from Cora's curse was going to be something akin to ruin. He couldn't wait. When the curse broke, he would find Bae and if the town wanted to burn Cora at the stake, he'd gladly provide the fireball to light her up at no charge.

"Mr. Gold...can I help you with something today?" Kathryn Nolan questioned, as she came out of her corner office, upon spotting him come into the bank.

"No...I'm just here to deliver this to you," he said, as he handed her the folded document. He watched gleefully, as she unfolded the parchment and her face went red with anger.

"Is this a joke?" she spat.

"Oh, I assure you it is quite valid and quite real," he replied pleasantly.

"You've been served, Mrs. Nolan," he added, as she looked up at him sharply.

"David has no money. Do you really expect me to believe that he hired you as his attorney?" she growled.

"Believe what you want, Mrs. Nolan, for David is my client. Let's just say I'm doing this one pro-bono and with a great amount of satisfaction, might I add," he replied.

"I'll fight this...if David thinks I'm letting him take half of everything, then he really is an idiot," she spat. He smirked.

"You can try to fight it, but David isn't asking for anything except to not be married to you any longer. You can have the house and everything else. He just wants to be divorced from you as fast as possible and the law will grant him what he wants, despite any protest on your part," Gold replied.

"Oh, but I would caution you in fighting this too hard...unless you'd like all those skeletons in your closet to be aired to the entire town, Mrs. Nolan, for if you choose to play dirty...then so will I," he warned threateningly and she shrank back a bit and watched him go in disbelief. Everyone around her stared at her, for Mr. Gold had made it a point to make sure he served her the papers in the most embarrassing and public place he could pick. Furiously, she grabbed her coat and stormed out of the bank.

~*~

August reluctantly arrived at Marco's shop to pick up the Bug for his sister. He had argued with her on why he had to be the one to pick up her car and she made an excuse. But he knew what she was really trying to do. She was trying to push him to talk to Marco, even if the man didn't remember that he was that right now. Emma and his mother had good intentions, but August didn't want to reconcile with this man. It was too painful, especially with all that he knew now. When they had arrived to find out that Emma's father and the man that his mother would eternally love had been trapped in such an abusive situation, it had been the final straw for him.

Snow had raised him and he knew she loved him, just as much as she loved Emma. But it still didn't change the fact that it was Geppetto that had indirectly caused David's predicament and exacerbated the pain his mother was feeling. He hated when she was in pain. His mother was the strongest woman he knew, but he was still really protective of her. And this man's lies had hurt her deeply. Blue let it happen, so he had a lot of anger for her as well. Over the years, he had a lot of time to examine things. At first, he thought he should have been grateful to her for giving him life as a human. But then, the older he got, the more he realized that Blue had placed unfair conditions on her spell. He had to be selfless, brave, and true. And the more life threw at him, the more he realized how truly fucked up that was. No person was selfless, brave, and true all the time. It was an impossible feat. It was setting him up for instant failure.

Thankfully, Snow had come through the wardrobe behind him, her belly still round with child, her face broken from having to say goodbye to the man she loved. And still, even in her anger at Blue and Geppetto, she had taken him in her arms and loved him as her own. Without her, he didn't want to think about how he might have turned out. He had a good life and grew up to be kind, caring, and a good person. But it was because of Snow, a woman wronged by Geppetto and a fairy that lied to her. They implored him to never lie and yet they had no qualms about doing so themselves. He was angry and it wasn't going away, but he could compose himself long enough to pick up Emma's car from this man's shop. But that was it. He wanted nothing to do with him, even when he did get his memories back. His mother, Emma, and little David were his family. And soon, the man that his nephew was named after would be a part of their family. As far as he was concerned, there was no room for Geppetto, as harsh as it sounded, but that was how he felt.

"Mr. Swan...here for the bug?" Marco called, as he spotted him approaching.

"Yeah...just picking it up for my sister," he answered stiffly.

"You are a good big brother," Marco commented, as he handed him the keys and August paid him for the repairs.

"Your mother...she is very lucky to blessed with such loving children," the old man mentioned. August could sense the wistfulness and envy in his voice, but he didn't care. His anger had long overwhelmed any empathy for this man.

"We're the lucky ones. My Mom is amazing...and she gave up everything for us. But it's my turn to take care of her and make sure no one can ever hurt her again," August said. His cryptic response was a bit confusing to the old man right now, but August hoped his words would instantly resonate with him once his memories returned.

"Have a good night," Marco offered awkwardly, as the young man took the keys and left wordlessly. He felt no remorse in walking away from this man. He wasn't family anymore and he doubted he ever would be again. None of that mattered though, he had a family and now he was off to help them. He had spoken with Regina earlier and done what she had asked of him. She had a surprise to drop on her mother and Kathryn, which would be essential in fighting them, for he was sure by now that they were both learning that David had filed for divorce. And they would be on the warpath, which meant his next destination was the diner so he could be there to support his family in the strife that was to come.

~*~

David was absorbed by watching Mary with her grandson, as they sat in the diner and ate dinner together. It had been the most wonderful evening that David could remember having. And something in his heart tugged at him, somehow telling him that this was how things were supposed to be.

"You're Nana's sweet boy, aren't you…" Mary cooed to little David, as she spooned another bite of his baby food into his open mouth. Little David cooed and grinned at her in response. David had always wanted kids, as long as he could remember. But that had never come up as a topic of discussion with him and Kathryn. But then their courtship had not been an ordinary one. It all seemed like a blur in his mind. Essentially, from what he remembered, his mother died when he was still a teenager and he had then been adopted by her boyfriend, the District Attorney, Albert Spencer. But that had not been a blessing and rather a curse, so to speak. David had wanted to go to Veterinary school, but those dreams were quickly squashed by Spencer when he learned that Lewis Dior, owner of the bank and any real estate in town that wasn't owned by Mr. Gold, was looking for a suitable husband for his daughter, David had been offered up. Lewis wasn't fond of David's humble beginnings as the son of farmers, but Albert Spencer's adoption of him garnered him definite consideration. After all, the owner of the bank allied with the town's district attorney was a union that had benefits to both sides. David was against it from the beginning, as he had always dreamed of finding true love. But George had threatened him that if he blew this opportunity that he'd pay for it with his life.

Kathryn had been drawn in by his good looks and how sweet and genuinely nice he was. At first, he thought that maybe it wouldn't be so bad, but now he knew that his naivete was one reason she had seen him as her perfect victim. He was kind, sweet, and naive, so she knew keeping him under thumb would be easy. He was a good person, which made her manipulation of him easier and he was handsome, which made him the perfect arm candy to show off to her social circle.

Looking back, he realized now that Albert Spencer had offered him up to Kathryn's family like a piece of property and the district attorney had been paid handsomely for him. It had made David feel dirty from day one and he had never entertained the possibility that he could ever be free, until he met Mary. She had made him realize that he had courage he thought that had been stripped from him long ago. But he proved that to be wrong when he filed for divorce earlier that day. Of course, he knew this was just the beginning and so when Kathryn stormed into the diner and slammed the door behind her, he felt a shiver course down his spine. The look she was giving him was the same one she had a few nights ago, when she had made marks on his body...when she had belittled and controlled him...when she had raped him. He felt Mary reach for his hand under the table and squeeze it gently, somehow willing courage to him in a way he was was sure he had never known.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Kathryn growled, as she approached the table. Little David whimpered from his high chair and Emma plucked him up, holding him.

"It seems you know if you were served the papers," David managed to say boldly. Kathryn looked stunned, as if she couldn't understand where he was getting the courage to defy her.

"This is ridiculous, David! Get your coat and get in the car. We're going home," she demanded of him. He fought the urge to shrink away from her and Mary squeezed his hand again.

"No," he said in defiance.

"Excuse me?" she questioned dangerously.

"You heard me. I said no and that's not my home anymore. I'm divorcing you," he replied, loudly enough so that everyone in the diner heard. And it caused instant gossip to ripple through the masses.

"If you go down this path...I'll make sure you regret it," Kathryn warned.

"No...you won't," Snow snapped, as the blonde looked at the raven haired beauty and smirked.

"What? You have Grandma protecting you?" she hissed.

"She's my friend," David snapped. Kathryn rolled her eyes.

"Please...I know a cougar when I see one," she accused, but it didn't phase Snow at all.

"Better to be a cougar than a leach, because I think everyone knows that all you've ever done is suck the life out of him," she retorted, which really riled up everyone that was enthralled by the spectacle.

"I'm not someone you want to cross, Ms. Swan. You have a beautiful family...I'd hate for something to happen to them," Kathryn warned, making David's eyes widened.

"Oh, if you do anything to my family, I'll grind you to dust," Snow warned back.

"And if she doesn't...I will," Regina interjected, as she arrived with August.

"Deputy Mayor," Kathryn greeted, seemingly un-threatened by the Mayor's daughter. Regina smirked.

"For now...but soon I'll be the Mayor," she retorted. Kathryn laughed.

"You really think you can beat your mother out for her seat?" she asked incredulously, but Regina kept smirking.

"Oh, I think the people of this town are more than ready for a real leader and not the tyrant that is my mother. Things are changing in Storybrooke and I'm here to give you a very direct warning, Mrs. Nolan," she explained. .

"I encourage you not to fight this divorce or make any kind of move on David or the Swan family," she continued. Kathryn snorted derisively.

"And if I don't heed your warning?" she challenged. Regina's smirk widened.

"Then I publish this article I wrote this afternoon," August stated, as he held up a document.

"It airs all your dirty laundry...and your family's. All your father's dealings in this town, including certain deals he made with people like the Mayor and District Attorney Spencer. I assure you that it will ruin your entire world," he warned. She huffed.

"Sidney Glass is a friend. He would never agree to publish your trash," she contested. But Regina kept smirking.

"Except that I just bought the Storybrooke Mirror today and fired Sidney Glass," Regina informed, shocking them all. Kathryn frowned deeply.

"August is going to run it for me and will be head writer and editor now," she added, as Kathryn finally looked truly worried.

"Now run along and lick your wounds or go cry to my mother," Regina added, as the blonde stormed out in a frenzy. There were claps and cheers, as she did and Snow saw the people looking to her sister as if they had just found a new leader. What she had said was true. Things were changing in Storybrooke and as she felt David squeeze her hand in return, looking like the weight of the entire world had been lifted from his shoulders, she knew these changes were going to be for the better...

[zutarawasrobbed]

Zuko Can't Talk to Girls (Zutara week 2018, Day 3: Tea)

Summary: Zuko has never been good with is words. In fact most of the time he was so bad with them he ends up ending a relationship before one can even begin. Knowing his downfall, he promises himself, this time around he won’t say anything. This way, when he finds someone he likes he won’t blow it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar the Last Airbender

Rating: M

ff.net

AO3

@zutaraweek

Zuko has never been good with is words. In fact most of the time he was so bad with them he ends up ending a relationship before one can even begin. Knowing his downfall, he promises himself, this time around he won’t say anything. This way, when he finds someone he likes he won’t blow it.

Zuko knows he’s never been good at communicating with people, especially women. Most people including his uncle would blame the way he grew up. And it was true, his childhood was not by any means easy. His father an abusive prick, his mother abandoned them. (Although he couldn't really blame her for leaving seeing the marks on her body that were caused by her husband.) Not to mention a certifiably insane sister who took so much after their father it scared even him. 

Therefore, those experiences never helped him with his communication, and it didn't get any better. When he turned thirteen and his mother left, Zuko’s father suddenly turned his physical abuse towards him. The scar on his face told the story all too well of his past, even if he never told the origin of it. Thankfully to his uncle, Zuko was able to leave that toxic house and live the remainder of his childhood in a somewhat normal setting. And as a result, every aspect of his communication improved except… for girls! For whatever reason he still can't act normally around them.  

Zuko remembers the first time he approached a female. He was fourteen at the time, and his Uncle had helped him build some confidence. On his first day of high school, Zuko was certain he had found “the one” and decided to make sure to secure her spot at his side as his girlfriend. Zuko didn't know this at the time, but, asking someone you just met to be your girlfriend is never a great start…

However, one could say to blame his Uncle for believing that was how love worked. After all, all his Uncle would  ever talk to him as a child was his Aunt and how she and his Uncle fell in love with each other and that there was no greater feeling than being close to someone you love. As Zuko got older his uncle would continue to tell stories about his life and how there was no greater love than that of a child could give him. Zuko pondered on this and realized that he wanted to feel that kind of love too and decided that in order to do that he’d need to find a girl worthy of being the mother of his future children. So, With that in mind, he decided it was time to press forward and find his soulmate. The first attempt didn't go too great…

“Hi! I’m Zuko!”

startled, the girl turns around and winces for a second at the look of his face. But then smiles. “Hi, I’m Jin! Nice to meet you!”

Alright Zuko! You can do this! She’s talking to you! High five! Realizing the creepy smile on his face as he mentally praises himself, he continues, “you’re really pretty!” Our children would be cute. 

Jin blushes, “Well, thank you… What classes do you have?”

“I don't know yet. Wanna be my girlfriend?” He asks expectantly.  

Jin takes a step back, “oh… uh… We just met.”

Zuko looks a her as if she just grew two heads. “I know, but they say when you find the one, you have to hold on to them.” Yes! Uncle would be proud.

Jin takes another step back and plans her escape. “Well… I don’t think you’re the one for me. We just met and no offense but you're kind of creeping me out.”

Zuko looks down defeated. Of course you did something wrong Zuko. Don’t cry. Don't cry!

Jin notes the defeated look on his face, and stands there awkwardly, “well… uh… I’m just… gonna go.”

Luckily Jin is gone before Zuko starts tearing up. He finds a bathroom and starts crying in a bathroom stall… Until he hears girls walk in. This is the mens room, why are girls in here? When he walks out of the stall, everyone looks at him. His eyes still puffy from the rejection, he gets ready to tell them to leave because it is highly inappropriate to enter the wrong bathroom, when another girl enters the bathroom and screams.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?” 

Zuko almost starts fuming util he realizes. Shit! I’m in the wrong bathroom. He almost starts crying again before he runs out of the restrooms and hides in the right bathroom. This is not going great. 

It’s sophomore year when Zuko tries his second attempt of getting a girlfriend. Realizing that he came on too strong the first time, he decides that this time he would act casual and chill. He also realizes that assuming the first girl you see would be the best choice as the mother of his children, was also not the best course of action to take either. That’s why, this time, he decided to learn everything about his next prospect before approaching her… But, not like in a stalker way… Just her interests and what her friends were like. He found that they were very compatible and proceeded to approach her during lunch.

“Hi!”

Startled, the girl spits out her drink and stares at him for a moment. Ew, it’s the weird guy with the scar. “Hi…”

Zuko perks up happily, this is starting great! “How are you today?”

He seems sweet… “I’m good, how are you?” 

“I’m great now that I’m talking to you.” Good job Zuko! Let her know you're interested, but not too pressured! A+.

Is he hitting on me? “I’m sorry… what’s your name?”

She wants to know my name! “My name is Zuko. What’s yours?” He smiles.

  “Song… Would you like to sit down?”

Zuko happily takes a seat next to her, but then panics. Shit! I didn’t think I would get this far… Say something! Anything! “Did you know that our kids would have a 75% chance of having gold eyes? Given that gold eyes are the dominant trait out of your green ones, it would be most likely that our children will have gold eyes.” Okay maybe not that…

Shocked, she stands up. “Uh… Oh look over there. My friends are waiting for me… I’ll see you later… Bye!” And with that, she runs away.

Stupid! It’s only a 50% chance. Oh wait. I just got rejected didn’t I? Great going Zuko!

After that attempt he decides that he just needs practice and so for the next three years he tries different approaches. Like the one time waiting for the train station…

“Nice hair, I noticed you used a different shampoo today, the scent is different…” 

The girl backs away… “uh…”

Or the time he was helping a girl find a book in the library. 

“You like Aristotle? I love Aristotle.”

“Really?” The girl starts “That’s amazing! I love his take on the human condition.”

“Me too, maybe we can talk about it over coffee?”

“Sure! Here's my number.”

At least that time he got a date. A date that ended as quickly as it began upon realizing he talked too much about family and how much he wanted one as soon as possible. I have to learn to tone it down. Ugh! Why is it so hard to talk to girls? I talk to guys all the time! 

The last time he tried to talk to a girl ended up better but not by much… He learned from his mistakes but never truly got the hang of it. Sometimes the words would just fall out of his mouth. Which is why he decided that the next time he finds someone he’s interested in, he wont say a word. Not a thing…

*******

Looking out the serving window at his uncles tea shop, Zuko panics. Who is the girl wearing a waitress uniform? “Uncle? Who’s the girl wearing the waitress uniform?”

Iroh turns and smiles smugly. “Why Nephew that’s our new server, Katara. She just moved out here. I think she’s helping out with her grandmother or something…” Iroh, knew his nephew was having trouble in the female department and decided to take matters into his own hands. It was just luck that the blue eyed beauty came looking for a job. And, it must have been fate because she seemed to be a perfect compliment to Zuko’s awkwardness. 

Unlike Zuko, Iroh noticed that Katara was quite headstrong and outgoing, she was great with the customers, and had a heart of gold. He can’t lie in saying, that for a woman who came across so gentle and serene, her ability to ward off handsy customers was a shock. He once witnessed a man put his hands on her and she swiftly back handed him. He was going to interfere but didn’t because he was certain he saw death in her eyes, and anyone in the crossfire would be at its mercy. Just like Zuko would! In other words, she was just like Zuko, but only is the ways that mattered. 

“Uncle? Why do we need a server? You have me? Beside’s didn't you say we were overstaffed?”

Rats! Nephew is too smart for his own good. Yes, he did say that. But when Katara came in he couldn't refuse, and when he saw her in action he had no trouble firing Haru on the spot… What? Its not like Haru needed a job, he was just here to be closer to Ty lee… Which is a good thing I fired her too… He thinks proudly to himself. “I know, but Ty Lee and Haru were being far too distracting to the customers so… I let them go.”

“You what!? Uncle! They gave us the best business!” Zuko can’t believe the carelessness of his uncle. Why would he-? All thoughts stop as soon as the new girl- Katara turns around and he instantly blushes. 

The sight of her big blue eyes makes him feel paralyzed. Her dark skin glows in the light of day. Her uniform is just like the rest of them but the dark green skirt makes her legs looks longer and the button up green blouse maker her look regal. But her most amazing feature has to be her smile… Her smile is something that he could look at for the rest of his life. “Wife.” He says suddenly. 

Iroh almost spits out his tea. “What? Did you say something Nephew?”

Zuko, realizing he just said that out loud, blushes even harder but still doesn’t look away from the gorgeous creature in front of him. “Nothing Uncle…” He has no ability to make an excuse because the woman of his dreams is right in front of him and she’s… She’s looking at me! What to do? What to do?! Wait… You can't say or do anything remember? Just look away. Zuko nods to himself and looks away with a scowl. Okay not the best… but we’ll work on that… Zuko  assures himself.

*******

Working at the Jasmine Dragon is a wonderful opportunity for Katara, and she knows that. Everything she does is always done 110%, and she thinks she’s doing a good job. But… Zuko, her boss’s nephew, is always so cold around her. The first time she saw him her heart skipped a beat… 

Never in all her life had she ever seen anyone so handsome. His body, she could tell was sculpted as if the gods were trying to see if they could outdo themselves. The uniform just highlighted his physique even more. The button down green dress shirt and black slacks fit him perfectly. His skin pale like the moonlight. But, when she saw his face, she almost gasped. He is truly a god! She thinks while taking not of his scar. In her mind his scar just added to his appeal. Mesmerized by her co-workers appearance she mutters the only word that comes to mind, “mine.” 

Instantly, she hears one of the customers chocking on their tea and realized that she said her thoughts out loud. Upon this realization, she notices that she’s been staring too long. That is, until she realizes he’s staring at her as well. Is he blushing because of me? No Katara, stop fooling yourself! He probably has a girlfriend… or several. It’s with that thought she sees him turn away from her with a scowl. Wait? What did I do wrong? Oh no! He must think I’m a total creep!

…That was her first encounter with Zuko. But, it’s been two weeks since the incident, and nothing’s changed. In fact, she’s certain he’s doing whatever he can to get away from her altogether. She’s not certain, but it’s just a hunch… For instance…

Two Weeks Earlier

It was two days after the initial incident, she decided it was time to break the ice and apologize for whatever she did to make him scowl at her. So she started her shift early and walked in planning on talking to Zuko, but as soon as he saw her, he froze, like a deer in headlights, he froze. Oh well better now than never. 

“Hi! I’m Katara!” She says enthusiastically. Okay cool it down Kat. Do you really want him to know just how much he makes you swoon?

Zuko knows she’s saying something but also knows if he says anything he’ll mess this up too. What to do?What to do? Oh… I know! “Bye!” he says quickly and walks away. Nailed it!

  Katara watches him leave. Defeated she think about plan B…

It’s the day after that she stays at the end of her shift to help close shop. She knows Zuko’s going to be there and decides it’s a good time to bury the hatchet. She watches him as he starts picking the chairs off the floor and putting them on the tables. She shakes her head knowing she staring at his muscles. She walks towards him and lays a hand on his shoulder. He jumps. “I’m s-sorry!” 

Zuko pauses at the sound of her voice. Sorry? What does she have to be sorry for? He turns around to face her. Her face is red and she’s rambling apologies left and right. But all Zuko can see is the way her mouth moves. It’s that moment he wonders what her lips feel like. He shudders at the thought. He's never kissed anyone before, but by gods does he want to kiss her. My god… she’s so perfect. 

“…So, as I was saying, I’m sorry, and I’d really like it if we could be friends.” She fumbles out. 

  Zuko’s heart drops. The only word hears is friend. Everything around him starts crashing. Friends? She just wants to be friends. She’s my soulmate, we can’t just be friends! And before he knows what he’s doing… “No! We can’t be friends!” He shouts angrily. 

Katara’s heart stops. “I see… I’m sorry. I-I wont bother you again.” She runs out the shop tears falling down her cheeks and doesn't look back as she runs to the train station to get home…

Present

Thinking back those two weeks, Katara realizes she can't continue working like this. She deserves answers! I deserve to know what I did to make him hate me. With her mind made up she waits for everyone to leave to confront him.

Katara sees him doing the same thing he did the night he made her cry and a new anger takes place in her soul. How dare he make me cry! She stomps over to him. “What did I do to make you hate me so much!?”

Alarmed, Zuko takes a step back. “You think I hate you?” “Why else would you keep avoiding me every time I enter the room? Or say that we could never be friends? It’s like I sicken you or something!” She yells.

Zuko panics. No. No! This was not supposed to turn out like this. Now she thinks I hate her? “You have no idea what you’re talking about. Trust me.”

“How can I? if you wont even talk to me?!” She get’s in his face.

“I- I can’t talk to you!”

“Why not?!” She get’s closer to him. 

Acting on instinct, Zuko lets his body take over, and suddenly his lips are on hers. Oh. My. God! I’m kissing her!

Oh. My. God! He’s kissing me! Katara responds immediately and wraps her arms around his neck. She’s not exactly sure about what she’s doing, but her body seems to as her legs wrap around his hips. 

Feeling hers legs wrap around him, he instantly grabs her thighs for support and heads to place her on the kitchen counter. He sees the teapots in the way and, without breaking the kiss, he moves one had to her waist, and removes the other hand to shove the entire contents of the table to the ground. Once the counter’s empty he places her there and starts kissing her with more fervor. He moves one hand in her hair and pulls her face closer to him as the other continues to grasp at her waist. 

Katara pulls him closer to her and moans as she feels his tongue asking for entrance into her mouth. Instantly she accepts and greets his tongue with her own. She shudders at the contact. And it appears so does he, as his hands pull her body closer so that his hands are gripping her thighs open as she opens them to allow him to move between her legs. 

Zuko gasps as he breaks the kiss but is quick to continue his track by kissing from her jawline down to her throat. He’s rewarded with her gasps and moans. He feels her hands move from his collar to his hair, gripping it slightly for purchase. He groans, and instinctively bites down on her pulse point to stifle a moan threatening to escape. 

She mewls. The feeling of his teeth changes the game entirely and she’s not sure what she wants, except that she wants more. So she says the only thing on her mind. “More…” Her plea comes out as a whisper so she speaks louder, “More! Zuko, more!”

Zuko unlatches his teeth from her neck. Does she know what she’s saying? Hell… I don't even know what she’s saying.

“More Zuko! I want more!”

That answers his question and his growing arousal makes him realize he wants more too. But he has to be sure this is what she wants. So, he latches his mouth back to her pulse point and sucks while pushing his erection against her inner thigh. 

She gasps at the feeling of something long and hard brushing against her. It doesn't take her more than a second to realize what it is and she bites her lips. Is this what I was asking for? her mind goes blank as she feels his body start rubbing against her. Yes, she realizes. This is what I want. 

Zuko doesn't know what he’s doing, but his body seems to and it feels so good. He doesn't realize he’s panting before he feels something grab ahold of him. His breath hitches and he looks up from her neck and sees a curious look in her eyes. She move her hand back and starts sputtering apologies after apologies. 

“Sorry! I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I-I just- I just wanted to try something.” She sees him look at her in confusion so she continues. “B-but that’s not an excuse! I should have asked! And now I rui-”  

He pulls her body to him and holds her. he doesn't say anything. But that's because he’s not really sure what to say. She wanted to touch him. It wasn't and accident. She actually wanted to touch him. His heart feels so full, he sighs and says the first thing that comes into his mind. “Thank you.”

Katara’s whole body jerks. Thank you? Did he really just thank me? she doesn't have to long to ponder before he’s speaking again.

“I mean- thank you for wanting to touch me. Wait! No. I mean. Ugh! I’m bad at this. I’m sorry. I’ve just never done this before and you're a really pretty girl and I uh-” he sighs in defeat and slumps his head back into her shoulder. I’m the biggest idiot in the universe. ‘you’re a really pretty girl?’ What kind of person says tha-

“You think I’m pretty?” she blushes.

He startles and looks back at her with a confused look. “You're the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.” He says as if it’s a wide known fact.

Her face turns redder than before and says, “so are you.” Wow. way to go Katara! Anything else you want to contribute! 10/10! A+ for that compliment. 

He slumps. “You don't have to lie.” He points to the scarred side of his face, “this kind of makes it hard to.”

She looks up at him quizzically. Does he really think that scar makes him look ugly? As if on instinct, she presses her lips to his scar and starts kissing him on every exposed piece of flesh she can find.

“Katara… You don't have to do that.” he whines.

She hastily responds. “I know… But… I want to. And I-” She takes a deep breath, “I want to do more things… If you’d let me…”

Zuko looks at her shocked. Oh I’ll let you alright. telling his thoughts to calm down. He responds, “what kind of things?” Good going Zuko! You handled that well. He thinks as he mentally high fives himself. 

Her face burn up even more. But she’s already gotten this far. Just a little more. She whispers, “I want to touch you…” She hears him take a sharp intake of breath. But she doesn't back down. “And I want you to touch me. I’ve never done anything like this before, but… I want to… With you….” Looking at his face. It looks as it he had been frozen. She waves her hands in front of his face before he grabs them and she jolts.

He looks her in the eyes. “Are you sure? Are you sure, this is what you want? Because if you say yes. There is no going back.” He looks between the two of them. “For either of us.”

She gulps and nods in understanding. “I know… And I’m sure… Positive!”

He lets out a breath he wasn't even aware he was holding in and nods. “Alright.” He whispers. “Alright.” 

Those are the last words Katara hears before he cups her face and kisses her, hard. It’s unlike anything she ever felt before. Granted the boys she has kissed in the past were either innocent pecks or a slobbery mess. But Zuko is just powerful. He’s rough, yet gentle. Commanding but not overwhelming. It makes her feel as if she is dancing with a dragon wrapped in silk. And for a moment, she’s convinced she is. Her hands wrap around his neck and she gently caresses his lips with her tongue asking for entrance. He obliges and continued to kiss her with the same determination and softness she felt before he had his tongue enter the mix.

Zuko can feel the fire. He feels as if his body is shrouded with flames that are threatening to consume him. And Katara is the only thing keeping him from burning alive. Her kiss is like a fresh glass of water in a dessert storm. And it is a feeling he knows he needs more of. Feeling her grip grow stronger, his body reacts and starts moving his hips all on their own. The feeling of bliss surrounds him before his length presses against something wet. He realizes it’s her own arousal and she’s ready for him.

The feeling of his length against her core made her shudder in anticipation. And without another thought. She releases his lips from her own, looking at the dazed expression on his face, and rips off his shirt with a strength she didn’t know she had, leaving buttons of his uniform scattered about the kitchen. Seeing his chest exposed to her makes her lick her lips and as if on instinct she starts to kiss, lick, and suck on his chest. Her reward, a string of profanities she didn't know he was capable of. Seeing he is distracted, she takes the opportunity to stealthily slide herself off the counter and move herself onto her knees before hastily unzipping his pants and pulling them along with his boxers just low enough to release his member.

Feeling the air hit his exposed member brings him out of his daze and he looks down to see that the girl of his dreams staring at his size. What is she doin- He gasps. Suddenly he feels warm lips wrap around his member. Fuck! Holy Shit! This is amazing! He pants before he grabs the back of her head to keep her there. 

Katara has read about this before. She’s been told that this type of action can drive any man to her mercy. And judging by the response she was getting, her books were right. Taking the advice to heart, she starts sucking him and the hands in her hair grow tighter as she moves her head up an down his member. 

“Fuck! Katara. Keep going!” He moans.

Stifling a laugh, she quickly moves back up from between his legs and back to her original spot on the counter before giving him her most innocent smile she can muster. She can see the look of bliss he wears slowly turn to confusion.

“Why?- Why’d you stop?” He asks breathless. Did I do something wrong… Fuck! Did I say something stupid again? I did didn't I? I just ruined my chance with the most ama-

She pulls him closer before whispering in his ear, “Because I want you to finish inside me.” That seemed to be the right thing to say. Because before she could say anything else. An animalistic type roar echoes throughout the shop before her underwear are ripped from her body and he is inside her. She gasps at the sudden fullness and sees the panicked expression on his face. Probably worrying about hurting her. Feeling thankful she broke her hymen from a biking accident as a kid, she mentally gives the spirits a thumbs up before she feels him start to move within her. 

He groans. The feeling of her core wrapped around him makes him feel as if he is being milked from the inside out. But he stills. He heard from Uncle how it hurts the first time for women, and he almost slaps himself for entering her so swiftly. But almost immediately he feels. her hips start to roll and he shudders. This is the best feeling in the whole world. He moans and hears Katara scream in pleasure and his mind goes blank. Once again he lets his body take over and feels his hips start to move in and out of her as he hears her moan and cry out his name.

“Zuko! Faster!” she mewls. 

  He doesn't hesitate before he starts rutting onto her at a furious pace. That seems to be to her liking as her cries become louder and faster each time he enters her. 

“Oh Zuko!”

Going as fast and as hard as he can, the sound of his name pushes him closer to the edge. He pants, “Katara! I can’t. I’m… not… gonna last… much longer.”

“Please Zuko. Just a few more- Oh!”

He starts moving even faster than before and moves one of his hands to the spot he heard his uncle call the ‘pearl of pleasure,” and starts rubbing his finger furiously against it in time with his thrusts.

Feeling Zuko touch her most sensitive nub takes her over the edge and all she can see is white. Not knowing and not caring for what she’s saying, her body twitches and jerks back and forth before slumping onto his shoulder.

Taking her reaction as his okay to finish, he thrusts into her two more times before spilling himself inside of her and collapsing on top of her as she falls back onto the counter. Catching his breath from his climax, Zuko looks her in the eyes before wrapping his right arm around her waist and his left hand at the back of her head before claiming her lips with his own in a searing kiss. 

Katara kisses him back before resting her forehead against his own and says, “Zuko, I-”

The lights suddenly turn on and they look up in terror to see, “Nephew! Nephew! Are you alright? The neighbors said they hear-”

Zuko, swiftly shielding Katara with his own body glares at his uncle and growls. 

Iroh looks at the scene before him, his nephew has his pants and boxers down at his ankles with his manhood hidden between the legs of a woman he can’t quite see but is pretty sure is Katara. And in the kitchen he can see at least three different teapots shattered on the floor. He looks back at his nephew before noting the scowl on his face before slowly backing out of the room and running back to his car. Go Nephew! Iroh thinks to himself. 

Katara watches as Iroh leaves and is pretty sure that if dying from embarrassment was a thing, she would be dead by now. Covering her mouth with her hands, she looks back up at Zuko before quickly pushing him off her and fixing up her clothes. 

Zuko watches as Katara picks up her torn panties and smirks to himself before realizing what exactly just happened. His uncle. His Uncle, just walked in on him having his first time and as the reality of the situation dawns on him so does the expression on his face. 

Katara breaks the silence, “So uh… I had fun.” She says as she shoves her torn clothing into her purse preparing to run out of there. 

Zuko, realizing her intentions to escape, stops her. “Wait! Please! Please don't go…” He begs.  

She slumps, “What do you want me to do?” She asks shyly.

He sighs in frustration, “Why don’t we start with what you were going to tell me before we were so rudely interrupted?” He asks incredulously.

Feeling panicked, she giggles. “Oh that? It was nothing I was jus-”

He moves closer, “you were just what?”

She looks into his eyes and sighs, “I was just… I was just going to say I’m glad you don't hate me.” She feels like an idiot. Why would you tell him that? It’s not like he’s gonna want anything more than what just happened. It’s best if I just go home and pretend this ne-

“Wanna go out to dinner with me tomorrow?” he asks hastily. Wow… Great going Zuko! That’s the best thing to say after losing your virginity to someone. 100% would try again… I’m such a dumb ass.

“Yes!” She looks up at him. “I- I mean- yes,” she coughs. “I would love to go to dinner with you.”

Holy shit! That worked? Way to go Zuko! Now, leave it as it is. Don’t say anyth- “I love you!” God damnit Zuko! 

Katara’s eyes go wide and laughs to herself. If this is how he normally is. I think I might love him one day too. She smiles brightly at the thought and caresses his face to look back at her. Taking the defeated look on his face, she quickly raises herself on her tiptoes and kisses him on his burnt cheek and says “pick me up at seven.” And with that she walks out the door. 

His eyes go wide before he realizes what just happened. He see’s her halfway across the street before yelling out, “tomorrow! Right! Seven, I’ll see you then!” Wow! I have to be careful tomorrow. Can't have another slip up like tonight happen again. 

 *******

The first date is a success but the slip ups continue to happen from how pretty she looks in her dress, to randomly saying I love you at random times. The third date comes around and by the third I love you, Katara says she loves him too and it is at that moment Zuko asks her to marry him. Slapping himself repeatedly after that night. He promises himself he will never ask that again… 

He does… Repeatedly. But it’s two months after that when he asks her again but this time she says yes and it’s at that moment he realizes that he is the luckiest man in the world. 

Looking back at his life now, Zuko wouldn't change it for a thing. Holding his third child in his arms, he looks at his daughters striking blue eyes as he tells her the story about how he met her mother all those years ago, and how he convinced Katara to marry an idiot like him.

Katara, watching from the outside of the door, laughs as she watches her husband put little Kya to bed before checking on her twins Zuko and Iroh Jr. 

The twins, (No Surprise there) pretend to be sleeping but fail when she sees the smiles on their faces. She sighs. “Zuzu? Rohroh? Why aren't you two sleeping?” Two gold eyes look up at their mom before glaring at each other.

Zuko jr. starts, “See! I told you she would find out! You were too loud!”

Iroh gasps. “Me? You were the one that wanted to play Star Wars with the extra loud lightsabers!” The bickering continues.

Katara sighs. Every night her boys play the same games, and every time they blame each other for getting caught. It’s times like these she’s glad she has a three month old in the house as it gives her a perfect excuse to make them stop bickering. Taking a deep breath she starts “Boys?” She watches as her two five year olds look at her with expectant eyes. It’s at this moment she realizes they were asking her who was in the wrong so the other wouldn't get in trouble. Not again. She takes another breath. “Boys, you know Kya is a baby right?”

At the mention of their sister, the two boys grow defensive and listen intently. They both promised the day they found out that a baby was growing in their mommy’s belly that they would protect them with their lives. 

Zuko Jr. bows and states, “yes mommy! We remember. What can we do to protect lady Kya?”

Iroh bows next to his brother and continues his twins thoughts, “yes what can we do to protect princess Kya?”

Seeing her first babies call her new baby “princess” and “lady” reminds her just how much these boys are like their father. Katara remembers hearing them swear on their honor to keep their sibling safe when she was only six weeks pregnant. And how at that moment she slapped her palm over her forehead and realized that they were just as dramatic as their dad. It’s moments like these when she remembers just how precious her children are and she has to remind herself not to laugh at her sons seriousness. So she continues her earlier thoughts. “As I was saying, Kya is just a baby and she needs her rest. So… I need you both to go to sleep so you can protect her when she’s awake in the morning. Okay?”

Her sons look up at her and nod in understanding to one another before quickly going to their bunk beds and falling asleep. Katara closes the door and feels a pair of arms wrap around her stomach that she knows are her husbands. She giggles as he nuzzles his face into her shoulder. 

“You get the twins to sleep?” He asks.

“Yes. No thanks to you.” She rubs his hair affectionately. And he purrs. 

“Mmm. You’re such a good mom.” He starts kissing her neck. 

Knowing exactly where this is going, She sighs,“Zuko no-”

“How about a fourth?”

[francesbeau]

Othello - Quote Analysis - William Shakespeare

Started: 30th of April 2021 Finished: 30th of April 2021 

Act One Scene One: 

- Iago talking about Cassio: “great arithmetician/mere prattle without prance” Targets Cassio’s lack of experience 

- Iago talking about Cassio: “A Florentine never damned in a fair wife” Mentions outsider status to disconnect him from the dynamism of Venetian life. Depicts Cassio as a bachelor to create more realism, goes against Cinthios original play.

- Iago: “We cannot all be masters, nor all masters truly be followed” A corruption of the master/servant relationship. Draws upon the tricky servant trope (servus callidus) King James had just been appointed to so this was very topical. 

- Iago: “I am not what I am”, teasingly obscure and creates the question of who really is Iago? Also makes an allusion to 12th night where Viola says “I am not what I am” This showcases how vows about dissemblance can have benign intention. 

- Iago to Brabantio: “look at your house, your daughter and your bags!” asyndetic listing highlights women as secondary importance. 

- “An old black ram is tuping your white ewe” explicate reference to miscegenation. women as an extension of property. Subdued pun to make Brabantio the victim of violation. This sexually suggestive language is because black rams are associated with lust and sexual potency and its horns imply its the reincarnation of the devil. 

- “You’ll have your nephews neigh to you, coursers for cousins, and jennets for germans” Paronomasia is where words nearly sound alike, similar to eye rhyme. Cluster of racial attacks. 

- Brabantio: “thou art a villain” - Iago: “you are a senator”. Dissonance of identity, highlights corrupt higher structures. 

- Roderigo: “tying her beauty, duty and wit in an extravagant and wheeling stranger” 

- Iago: “However, this may gall him with some check” - Subdued equestrian metaphor of a horse being pulled back by reins. 

Act One Scene Two: 

- Iago: “By Janus” Appropriate God to evoke as it is the twofaced God.

- Othello: “Keep up your bright swords” Where Christ, betrayed by Judas, is arrested he order Peter to “put up thy sword into thy sheath” 

Act One Scene Three: 

- Duke: “Valliant Othello” first person to use his name and its the most important man in all of Venice. 

- Othello: “Rude I am in speech, and little blessed in the soft phrase of peace” Actually highly articulated. Spezzatura -  ‘certain nonchalance, so as to conceal and make whatever one does or says appear to be without effort’

- Othello: “I won his daughter” - Links to patriarchal norms, Romeo and Juliet there is challenge for Paris to win and “woo” Juliet. 

- Othello: “The anthropophagi and men...” The allusion to the race of the cannibals in the Odyssey called Laestryganes who tried to eat Odysseus. 

- Othello: “she wished heaven had made her such a man” Kind of fickle and would love any man with same fantastical tales. 

- Desdemona: “divided duty” / “I saw Othello’s visage in my mind” Blackness of face is merely a deceptive outward show and his true countenance lies in the mind. 

Othello: “Nor to comply with the heat of young affects” - He is confining his sexual passion due to his stereotypes and has a lack of matched enthusiasm. Separates himself from sexual desire. Could be guilty repression. Freud: Sexual instincts are allied to emotional condition of fear” 

- Duke: “your son-in-law is far more fair than black”

- Iago: “our bodies are gardens to the which our wills are gardeners” - whole soliloquy goes on to examine to argument that if we didn’t have rational minds to counterbalance our emotions our desires would take over. 

- Iago: “these Moors are changeable in their ways” / “Moor is of free and open nature”

- Iago: “when she is sated with his body she will find the errors of her choices” Sexual reference

- Iago: “womb of time.”

- Iago: “twixt my sheet/ done my office” anxiety within marriage links to 2.3 when he calls Othello the “lusty moor” who leapt into his “seat”

- Iago: “Cassio’s a proper man” Acknowledges adversaries advantages. 

Act Two Scene One

- “What from the cape can you discern at sea?” Begins in storm which is symbolic of passions of Cyprus. Starts with the limitations of light and foreshadows metaphorical blindness. 

- “Our great captains, captain” 

- Othello: “oh my souls joy if after every tempest come such calms” / “If i were to die twere now the to e the most happy, for I fear my soul hath her content to absolute” Last time Othello is truly happy 

- Desdemona: “Our loves and comforts should increase even as our days grow”

Act Two Scene Three 

- Othello: “Are we turned Turks?/For Christian shame” Evokes intermittent conflict between European powers and the Ottoman Empire

- Othello to Cassio: “what's the matter, that you unlace your reputation thus.” 

- Iago: “I’ll pour this pestilence into his ear” Link to Hamlet where the King was poisoned by it being poured into his ear

Act Three Scene Three 

- Iago: “Ha, I like not that.” / “Nothing My Lord, or if, I know not what”. Plants seeds of suspicion with mysterious interjection 

- Othello: “Excellent wretch, perdition catch my soul. But i do love thee, and when i love thee not chaos comes again” Oxymoran - doesn't have a grip on emotions. breakdown of cosmos and order as chaos is the undoing of the gods. 

- Iago: “Honest My Lord?” Othello: “Honest? Ay, Honest.” Anadiplosis is the repetition of the last line of previous conversation

- Iago: “My lord you know I Love thee” - John 21;15 “Lord thou knowest I love thee” 

- “Beware my Lord of Jealousy! It is the green-eyed monster that doth mock the meat it feeds upon”

- Othello: “Haply for I am black and have not these soft parts of conversation” - Endemic to Venetian culture are attitudes that Othello cant inculcate. In the shape of Iago the venomous rage of society that are rocked by the elopement play out. 

- “She s gone, I am abused and my relief must be to loathe her” 

- “I had rather be a toad and live upon the vapor of a dungeon than to keep a corner in the thing i love” - This metaphor places emphasis on the embarrassment of cuckoldry. The animalistic imagery is interesting as toads are insignificant and gross which highlight how he feels. Women is the aggressor.

- “I think my wife be honest, and think she is not”

- Iago about a fake dream from Cassio, “I heard him say, ‘Sweet Desdemona let us be wary and hide our love”

- Iago to Othello: “I am your own forever” language of service, however Iago hints at mephisteplion bargain by which Iago has ensnared his soul. 

Act Three Scene Four 

- “There is magic in the web of it”, assumes bizarre shape of perverted trail

Act Four Scene One

- Iago: “to kiss in private” aggressively plants seeds of images of animated sexual congress 

- Othello about himself: “A horned man’s a monster and a beast” Sign of cuckoldry 

- Othello: “My heart has turned to stone” / ‘He Beats his chest’ / “sweeter creature” (like Cassio’s dream) 

- “I’ll chop her into messes” Truculent 

“Each drop she falls would prove a crocodile” - complex conceit, crocodiles generated spontaneously and a proverbial hypocrisy. Plutarch suggests that crocodiles wept when devouring their victims. Crocodile pretends to be in distress to lure victims in. 

Act Four Scene Two

- Othello about Emilia - “a lock and key of villainous secrets”

- Desdemona: “I understand a fury in your words, bot not the words.” 

- Emilia: “she forsook so many noble matches” - links ti act one scene two: she shunned the wealthy curled darlings of our nation

Act Four Scene Three

- The whole song of willow, link to Hamlet as Ophelia fell from a willow tree and drowned after finding out her husband did not love her. 

- Emilia: “if wives do fall” - Post-lapsyrian, eve’s fall from grace. 

- “The ills we do, their ills instruct us so” inverts traditional male leadership role. 

Act Five Scene One 

- ‘Iago wounds Cassio in the leg from behind and exit’ - constant scene controlment. Displays talent for improvisation. 

Act Five Scene Two

- Othello: ‘Think on thy sins’ Desdemona: ‘They are the loves I bear to you’ could be a reference to race but more so an allusion to the sin of living a human more than god. 

- Othello: “A murder which I thought a sacrifice” Zenith of insanity.

- “The sun and the moon and that affrighted globe” Christs crucifixion similar events. Globe theater in terror. 

- “It is the very error of the moon” - Power of the moon can induce madness

- “Base Indian who threw away a pearl” - Matthew 8 Merchant who looses everything trying to obtain a pearl. 

- “Malignant and a turband turk” - symbolically annihilating both Iago and himself. Whole speech is about the salvation of a soul peppered with semantics of Orientalism.

- Lodovico: “this heavy heart with heavy heart relate” Rhyming is emblematic of balance that civilized Venetians are saturated with

[yahoosodapop]

Kylo Ren will be redeemed

Or how I was projecting my trauma and made me depressed and how the general audience reception saved me...

YES I was one of those depressed fans after watching the movie on Dec 13.  

YES, my husband thinks Kylo has sunk to a new low.  (but loves all his sequences and openly admitted Adam Driver is one hell of an actor!)

YES, we had a very lively discussion that spanned two nights with our kids already nagging us why we are talking about Star Wars so much.  

YES, I spent a whole day being absolutely unproductive (thank goodness, I had no deliverable that day) writing a boatload of thoughts in relation to Reylo trying to exorcise my depressed state.

And after 2 days, I can finally say I with certainly that Kylo Ren/ Ben will be redeemed.

Because if he won’t that would mean that the whole Skywalker line is cursed / pre-destined to fail.   And Star Wars is supposed to leave you with something ‘good’ in the end about choice and morality.  After all, it is for children.  (sorry for bringing that but it is true)

More spoilers under the cut:

You come out of the movie as one of two things:

Husband:  Oh my God, Kylo Ren has achieved a new level of craziness.

Me:  Oh my God, Kylo lost it but I know why and I am so depressed for him.

I have to admit my sadness, clouded most of my thoughts.  And I kept on asking why? why? why? why?!?!?!?!  My husband just shrugged and told me ‘It’s like Empire.  It’s has to end dark’ - as if that solved anything.  But he was really more logical than I was.

The movie was filled with disappointments but not exactly at the Reylo front:

* Luke - How can Luke possibly turn into an outright coward?  You’re my hero!

* Leia - How can you possibly lose faith on your own son?!?!

* Anakin -Dammit!!! Show-up already like Yoda and tell Kylo he is being a complete ass like you were!

The movies showed two things:

* The whole Skywalker bloodline is cursed with insanity.  (And YES that moment with Luke attempting to kill Ben is HIS moment of insanity.  Luke’s face there is the stuff of NIGHTMARES!  My GOD!!! He had a look on his face that would put Pennywise from IT to SHAME!!! 

* My heroes - Luke, Leia, Han taken out of the field of ‘war’ are less than stellar when it comes to normal life.  Luke is a freakin’ coward!!! (He’s my childhood HERO!!! I memorized the entire script of Star Wars when I seven years old because I practically watched it everyday during the summer break!).  Leia is a horrible mom - choosing career completely over her own son that she ships him off to Luke to babysit!  Han, WTF an outright terrible father running away from his own wife and son trying to relive his glory days with his good ‘ol walking carpet and personal midlife crisis spaceship!!!

My husband just laughs at this and tell me it’s all Harrison Ford’s fault since he wanted Han killed off!  And told me not to be too invested in Reylo (while I proceed to glare at him.)

And I emphasized with those Reylo fans who feel that Reylo was made canon at the cost of ruining the original characters.  I can see where that comes from and I accept it.

I came to understand that the point that made me completely depressed in this movie and it wasn’t Ben becoming Renperor, it wasn’t him going batshit crazy and wanting to snuff of Rey and the Resistance...

It was Leia giving up on her son.

I am a mother. I have wonderful sons.  I had a lost a son very early on in his life to a condition that we were powerless to change.  Despite accepting the inevitably his death, I had never lost hope at that time.  (And I am sorry I am bringing this here but that was how shook I was with the movie).

And here is my beloved princess, filled with false assumptions, giving up on her still living son.

My heart broke.

No it wasn’t Reylo or even Kylo Ren that broke my heart.  It was those around him.

So I felt incredible sadness for Ben.   

He wasn’t born a crazy monster.  He was born with power more than he can imagine but he was not crazy.  And Luke realized that too late, when his nephew looked at him right before he was going to kill him.  Ben was just a scared kid.  Not a monster.

At the end of TLJ, he had no one.  Despite his own choices, which were incredibly flawed, there was no one who wanted him to come back.

That depressed me.  Depressed me enough that I left the theater upset and spent a whole day upset and snappy at my husband who thought Kylo has gone to the deep end.

But here’s the thing: 

As more people saw the movie (beyond Reylo, I don’t share my Star Wars obsession anywhere else) - I saw their perspective and began to feel hope.

The general audience (casual people who go out there to watch the movie for pure entertainment and not bother to think classical literature or SJW thoughts) enjoyed it.   Generally the best movie since Empire/Rogue One or even better than Empire?!?  (I hated Empire since it was so bleak.)

More so...they enjoyed the interactions between Kylo/Ben and Rey?!?  

What universe am I in?!?

They want to see more of the Force Bond thing.  They want to see them fight each other again like an ultimate showdown.  But more than anything, they want to see them fight together - as the best moment in TLJ was not Kylo vs Luke but Ben and Rey fighting together!

Wow...

Outside tumblr / twitter - there are people who do use the label Reylo and see the relationship that is presented and want to see it some more.  And no this is Twilight redux where its generally teen girls clamoring...

There are no talks of abusive relationship.  There are no parallelisms with literature.  The GA just takes the given narrative and decide if they like it or not.  And most of them do.  

And here’s the deal...a lot are also disappointed that their heroes didn’t turn out too well.  And they DO NOT BLAME Reylo for that.  It’s a casual shrug...”Never meet your heroes.  They’re only human.”

But they want redemption.   

They want to see Ben finally come back and be redeemed because through Ben’s redemption, the whole Skywalker line will have some sort of closure. That they are not cursed and not crazy.  If the last movie, would show the last Skywalker, then let him finally find his peace.

Wow. Thank you, GA for lifting me up.  :)

And as my husband says...TLJ is like Empire - it’s dark. But after its going to get better.

My Reylo heart finally felt at peace.   Reylo will happen (but that for a different discussion) and that moment in the where Rey closes the door...that wasn’t her symbolically closing the door on Ben.   That was simply Rian ending the movie (because let’s admit it 2 hours 45 minute runtime is incredibly long)

So now, I’ve booked our tickets to watch the movie with our kids tomorrow and their light saber toys are ready.  Despite having seen it, my husband and I are both excited.   We even got Dolby Atmos this time so we can finally understand what the hell Yoda was saying.  But more than that, the movie is really fantastic overall.

[hysydney]

Now you see it, now you see it again -  part 10

Chinoiserie chic

Orientalism has been a recurring theme in Western decorative arts since the16th century, with textiles and clothing among its most prominent exemplars. Eastern ideas of textile, design, construction, and utility have been realised again and again as a positive contribution to the culture of the West.

1920s’ fashion saw a renaissance of chinoiserie, with heavily embroidered silks, patterned fabrics, frog buttons, cross and Mandarin collars, loose wide sleeves, all of which borrowed significantly from the prevailing Chinese influences.

Phryne’s wardrobe reflects these designs, with her stunning red qipao or cheongsam (see @foxspirit1928′s post here) and a wonderful array of short and long embroidered silk jackets, that we glimpse once only.

But there is at least one that makes a second and third entrance and it is of particular significance for Marion Boyce who spoke of this in interview in the MFMM Costume Exhibition Catalogue (2014):

‘This coat I’ve had for many, many years. I found it in a second hand store years ago  and it’s always been my coat if I’m really late coming home from work and I have a particular event. This is my ‘go to’ coat which then became Phryne’s.  Chinoiserie in the 1920s was quite enormous and very much part of the 20s, and really after the Chinese closed their trading borders that was the last time, so I felt it was a really important part of the history.’

It is an original Chinese bridge coat - black silk, heavily embroidered with white floral motifs, and black frog buttons.  The costume team added cream cuffs and belt to finish off the ensemble.

It makes a brief appearance in Episode 1 of the first series, Cocaine Blues when Phryne attends the hospital. The coat complements Mac’s lab coat and the exchange between them also clearly sets the scene for Phryne’s determination to act on behalf of the disadvantaged and marginalised. Here it is the victim of an illegal abortion.

Phryne: Has she given you any details about what happened? 

Mac: They never do - either fell down the stairs or claim to be completely mystified. This one's not even offering her name. 

Phryne: No clues in her purse? 

Mac: You don't have to save the world, Phryne. 

Phryne: Where are her things?

She wears the Chinoiserie Coat again in Death at Victoria Docks (S1, Ep 4), with a black and white felt hat and white leather gloves, and white pants and blouse beneath.

It is an episode whose plot interweaves families divided and political dissension.  There are two story lines that intercept  where families have come adrift and daughters choose to leave.  The Waddingtons’ daughter Lila has run away from a family secret, and Peter the Painter’s anarchist associations have estranged him from his daughter, Nina.

Phryne first goes to the Waddingtons to confront  Mrs Waddington and her step-son Paul on what she has discovered. Lila ultimately seeks refuge within convent walls, and the black and white of the coat is reminiscent of the cloistered halls:

(need a shot of the back of the coat - stunning!)

Phryne: Of course, I thought it was strange that a man like Gerald Waddington would make a donation in cash, rather than by cheque. And that you were so unsurprised by it, Mrs Waddington. 

Paul: What have you done? 

Phryne: Your sister is safe, Paul. But there is no doubt that she has suffered because of your deception. Hasn't she, Mrs Waddington?... It was the small things that gave away your love affair at first. The touch of a hand. But when Lila discovered you together and knew for certain, the only choice was to make her doubt herself. And what better way than to take her faith and turn it against her? 

Phryne then goes to the docks to address Lila’s father, who is also embroiled in a dockland dispute and murder.  Phryne trades her services and tact for peace on the docks.

Phryne: The Reverend Mother has agreed that Lila can stay at the convent on the condition that she finish her schooling before she makes any decision about her calling. 

Mr W: Thank you. I suppose you'll be wanting your fee. 

Phryne: I'm not sure I need a monetary payment. But I could settle instead for... peace talks on the waterfront... in return for my absolute discretion. 

Mr W: You drive a hard bargain, Miss Fisher.

And a finale in the coat... DI Jack wants to see how reconciliation was achieved.  Their conversation is conducted with a ship’s mast in the background amidst sea mists, the black and white of the police car, the creamy-grey timbers and iron all providing a harmonious palette to the dialogue.  DI Jack references her charm, and she finds there’s a lot more to this detective than meets the eye:

Jack: You'd almost think someone twisted Waddington's arm. In a charming way... I've had my fair share of strike action. 

Phryne: What? The police strike of '23? 

Jack: Mmm. Shoulder to shoulder... (says he, as he and Phryne stand shoulder to shoulder)

Jack: A lot of good men lost their jobs. I was one of the lucky ones. 

Phryne: I would've picked you as more of a fence-sitter. 

Jack: It'd be a tactical error to think you had me pegged just yet, Miss Fisher. 

Phryne: I'm very glad to hear it.

In Queen of the Flowers (S1 Ep6) the coat reappears but this time with black accessories - the black beret, black gloves and black pants and blouse.  This time too we have families at the core of the plots, as parental responsibility and accountability are tested.

Phryne and Jack are on a case with murky undertones, of exploitation of young girls. Power and position provide masks for manipulation and murder.

When the coroner’s report reveals more than a drowning, Jack attempts to protect Phryne from the truth.  She insists, he doesn’t hold back. They work as a team.

Phryne: And Kitty was alive when she drowned. 

Jack: That's the conclusion. But there was bruising suggestive of someone a lot more hefty than Rose Weston. 

Phryne: What kind of bruising? 

Jack: You don't need to know. 

Phryne: Tell me. 

Jack: A man's boot print across the small of her back. 

Phryne initially draws a wrong conclusion about the wearer of the boot.  In her exchange with  young Derek, the Mayor’s nephew, the floral coat foregrounds the floral preparations for the Queen of the Flowers event:

But then the true depths are revealed - of not only the Mayor’s abuse of young girls, and murder to cover his offence, but of a grandfather prepared to sell his granddaughter to repay debts. The true relationship between those with blood ties is questioned.

And running through the background is another thread of parent-daughter dissonance, of Jane’s relationship with her birth mother.  She returns after years of absence to reclaim her daughter, in confused and psychologically unstable state of mind.  Jane is torn, as is Phryne. 

To whom does Phryne reveal what she feels? Who can and does reassure her? 

Phryne: Well, my school of social graces was a complete disaster. 

Jack: There are enough fox trotting young ladies in this town. You taught them to demand justice instead. And no doubt they'll all become firebrands in their own right and try to change the world, God help us. Oh. Janie's adoption papers, a little the worse for wear. 

Phryne: Thank you. But Jane's mother will always be her mother. 

Jack: And what will you be? Her guardian angel? 

Phryne: Much more my style.

[infinitemyths]

Gia’s Story: Of Life and Crime

Looking at Gia*, wearing a black hijab and brightly colored scrubs with a “raining cats and dogs” theme, you wouldn’t suspect that she’s a murderer. “I’ve been charged with murder twice,” she clarifies.

Gia was 22 years old when she received her first charge. She stabbed a man who had beaten up her nephew, causing his death days later. She got ten years in prison, but was released for good behavior after serving two. Nine years later, she stabbed her then-boyfriend, who had been repeatedly hitting her and her unborn child of six months. Because of his well-documented history of domestic abuse, she was released from jail after three days.

Incarceration has haunted Gia’s life for as long as she can remember. She has been imprisoned in North Carolina state penitentiaries twice for involuntary manslaughter and using stolen food stamps, and jailed in Durham County multiple times for charges of assault, inciting a riot, possessing drug paraphernalia, and drunken disorderly conduct.

It was at the Durham County Jail that I first met Gia two years ago. She was standing outside the building, mobilizing a group of local activists to chant in protest of a policy called “lock back.” The jail had implemented “lock back” half a year prior, to restrict inmate recreation time to a maximum of four hours a day.

Gia, donning what I now recognize to be her usual attire of scrubs and sneakers, talked with me about her grievances agains the jail’s treatment of inmates. Since her youngest of three sons was incarcerated at the jail three and a half years ago, she has been involved with community organizing that pushes for inmate rights and more humane conditions. She writes to inmates on a regular basis, not only to gather information on the injustices occurring inside, but also to give the them a sense of hope -- that they are cared for and not forgotten.

When Gia shows me a photo of her youngest son taken at a state penitentiary, she immediately pulls her neck back and beams with pride. “That’s my baby,” she says fondly. She makes a point to visit him every three months and sends him money and care packages on a consistent basis. When asked what she does during those two precious hours of visitation, she uses her hands to stifle a burst of laughter. “Oh you know, I kiss the black offa’ him.” She hasn’t been to visit him recently however, after he allegedly refused to work in the prison’s kitchen and was placed into solitary confinement.

Gia recounts the tale of her son’s conviction, wiping away tears brimming on inside of her eyelids. According to her story, he was on his way to the mall with his friend and his friend’s brother (whom he had never met before until that day). Unbeknownst to the first two boys, the brother had arranged to meet with a marijuana dealer from Greensboro, NC along the way. When the brother, who was driving, pulled over the vehicle, the dealer got into the passenger seat. Somehow, the two of them had a disagreement, and it got violent. They wrestled for a gun, and the brother shot the dealer dead. While trying frantically to escape, the brother drove the car off the road and it tumbled into a ditch below. 

Every person in the car was arrested. The brother was charged with first-degree murder. Gia’s son and his friend were charged with second-degree murder. Although the brother wrote in his official statement that Gia’s son was not at all involved in the incident, the court refused to absolve him. “He was just at the wrong place at the wrong time,” Gia laments.

Gia’s son wanted to take the case to the jury because he was confident in his innocence. He had not known of the drug pickup and moreover, had no fingerprints on the gun. His confidence was shattered however, when the District Attorney at the time pressured him to plead innocent for a 20-year sentence, warning him that if the jury found him guilty, he would be facing life without parole. He took the bargain, no longer confident that he would stand a chance as a black man with a criminal history living in the American South.

“There’s no escape from conflict,” Gia says about her experiences in Durham, NC. When she moved to the district of Hayti with her recently divorced mother and five younger siblings at fourteen years old, she found herself having to sell drugs to financially support her family. Because she has broken the law herself, out of necessity, Gia does not differentiate between criminals and civilians or the innocent and the guilty. Her life, rife with unending turmoil, has caused her to be both the victim and perpetrator of violence and crime. 

In addition to selling drugs to support her family, she at sixteen years old, married a man -- “a damn fool,” she calls him -- who repeatedly assaulted her and even shot her once, until she finally stabbed him fifteen years later. His abuse, which continued throughout her pregnancies, caused her the heartbreak of four miscarriages, as well as the development of psychological issues in her eldest son. 

"It stays with you a long time,” Gia says, about the effects of abuse. For years, she wanted to die, but was too scared to commit suicide. Instead, she lashed out to anyone and everyone whom she perceived to be a threat. Later on, she was officially diagnosed with PTSD and bipolar disorder and was put on heavy medications for eight years. In 2000, the father of her two younger sons died from drug overdose, and six years later, her own father died, sending Gia deeper down the spiral from which she attempted escape through drug abuse.

Finally, on a sunny day in October, sitting across from me at a wooden table in the checkerboard floor dining room of Durham Hosiery Mill, Gia recalls her memories with, for the most part, good humor. She now works as a caretaker for the elderly and the mentally and physically disabled, helping them monitor their health and keeping them good company. Two tables down from a group of old women in wheelchairs playing cards, Gia narrates these stories of her history with her full, steady voice. She breaks the heavy air with a joke and then lets out a chuckle from her chest, mouth opening to expose her two bottom teeth. “Rehab didn’t work for me. I couldn’t just sit there and talk about doing drugs. The more I went to rehab, the more I wanted to do it.” 

Gia finally overcame her battle with drug abuse through her spiritual commitment to Allah. “Islam has helped me through everything I ever went through,” she states proudly. When Gia was a child, she lived with her grandmother, a Christian preacher, who took the family to church six days of the week. In her late teens, however, she started having doubts that church couldn’t appease. Instead, she would visit her neighbor, the wisest and oldest Muslim in town, and find in their unlikely companionship a safe place to voice her spiritual concerns. He listened to her with benevolent patience, and would often read the Quran to her. Thus, Islam found in her a new convert.

“Religion, spirituality, is mandatory,” Gia proclaims. Her spiritual views have shaped her outlook on life and give her the hope that drives her to love. Her mental health issues are still a battle at times, but she feels a profound contentment in living her life. “It all happens for a reason,” she says. In understanding her own pain, she is able to guide others through theirs, always working to be a better mother to her sons, and supporting the disabled, the incarcerated, and the marginalized. 

It’s clear to me that Gia trusts her loved ones, her God, and ultimately, herself -- having finally made peace with the shadows of trauma that have followed her for so long. “I’m not proud of everything I’ve done, but I’m also not ashamed of anything I have ever done.” After witnessing the ugliness of a society that does not value her, Gia’s love for herself and her dedication to helping others who are undervalued, is intensely empowering. She lives with purpose. "It makes you rich when you ain’t,” she states, “You don’t wanna die with no legacy.”

* name changed to respect anonymity