#oh fuck i need to start studying for my exams so i can actually get out of school...

[vilelittlecritter]

You people are assholes and cruel I should have never fuckin said how old I am now go to hell.

I have had to endure the most strenuous types of bullying that shall leave scars on my psyche for the rest of my life

I hope you disgusting ruffians are pleased with your efforts to torment me as they have worked to high affect

I shall never doze away to escape from the troubling thoughts now plaguing my mind from this horrendous bullying

[omgeto]

☆ WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH YOUR PROFESSOR — NANAMI, TOJI, GETO, GOJO.

summary: you have sex with your professor. for many different reasons.

wc: 4.2k (each of these were meant to be 500 words long so idk what happened)

cw: smutty smut afab!reader who's in university, mutual masturbation, spanking, semi public sex, toji is not a professor but a gym coach who rails you in a supply closet, but theres a lot of sex on a lot of desks so mdni.

an: theres actually a smidge of plot in this just a tiny bit if you do a deep squint, but the smut id personally say is my best yet. so give it a chance people, but come for the smut stay for the dialogue. hope you enjoy! not proofread ignore mistakes pls

☆ NANAMI

nanami kento, was the strictest teacher you have ever had. you couldn’t get away with your usual tricks that you did with some of your other professors — strutting past their office during office hours in your skimpiest clothes to get a better grade. it was as if nanami was immune to all your devices.

but with a big exam coming up, you knew you had to make something happen since studying was not your forte. so you were prepared to do anything to get that A.

“come in," his deep voice calls from inside.

as you enter his office, you are met with the sight of your professor, his glasses perched on the bridge of his nose, reviewing a stack of papers. he glances up at you briefly before returning his attention to his work.

"what can I help you with?" he ask, his tone professional.

“i wanted to see if we could talk about the exam you set for us tomorrow,” you start to say, his eyes still focused on his papers, not sparing you a glance. “i was thinking we could figure out a way for me to get extra credit… sir.” 

you had his attention now. technically you’ve always had his attention — yes nanami was different to all the other professors you’ve ever had but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t a man at the end of the day. 

he always noticed the way you’d sit in his classroom, your pouty mouth always gnawing at your pencil as you never had a clue what was going on. nanami always had to hide his dick feeling tight in his trousers whenever you walk into his classroom. little did you know that you actually would’ve failed his class a long time ago, but because he just couldn’t let go of the sight of how your pretty tits bounce everytime you raise your hand, he always made you pass. 

“well what are you willing to do for that extra credit?” he says, his tone slightly amused.

“whatever you want” you respond a bit too eagerly, you were coming onto him hard. but it was working, you could already see the crack in his usual stoic facade. “c’mon professor nanami, i need to pass this class,” you practically beg. 

“oh yeah, you definitely need to pass this exam, you’re one more failed exam to flunking my whole class,” he affirms — lying through his teeth. “so i think you should come sit up here, and show me what you’re willing to do huh.”

suddenly, you start to feel nervous. usually you’d have control of the situation, you’d flaunt your ass, fuck your teacher and get an A, easily. but this time, you could see in nanami’s eyes that from when you entered his office — that he was running the show.

you saunter over his desk, and he pushes his seat back allowing you to have room to perch on his desk in front of him. “take off your shirt,” he commands, and you’re quick to fling off your top — that was barely covering anything anyways, “wow no bra, why am i not surprised.” he stares at your hardened nipples smirking as he continues to say, “you know i see your nipples peeking at me through your shit all the time in class.”

“really?” you question coyly.

“you don’t think i see how you practically fuck yourself in your seat when i’m doing a reading,” he continues, his arms folding as if he was telling you off, “a bit disrespectful, right?”

“no i-it’s just i really like the sound of your voice,” you stammer, embarrassed at him calling you out. you couldn’t deny that your professor was hot, everybody thought so and you hated school the only thing that got you through your classes was your day dreams of him fucking you.

“oh really, well i wanna see you get off to it for real this time.”

“wha—”

“touch yourself,” he demands with a grin, “fuck yourself on your fingers, put on a show for me,” he loosens his tie, and unbuttons his cuffs, ready to watch you perform for him, “and if you do well, then we could talk about your extra credit.”

you take off your pants, your hands moving directly to your throbbing pussy — since of course you had no panties on. you press your thumb down on your clit as your fingers work their way into your cunt. you were already soaked, just from hearing your professor speak to you, so it was easy to slide your digits in and out of you. 

nanami’s grin grows wider, loving the way your work your pussy,  “you not gonna play with your tits?” and you take his hint, your other hand sliding up to cup one of your boobs, your fingers pinching and pulling at your nipples. “good girl,” he praises.

you add another finger inside of you, writhing down hard on his desk against your digits. you quicken your pace, rubbing your thumb vigorously against your clit. his gaze on you served as an encouragement, your ultimate goal was shifted, at this point you didn’t care whether he passed or failed you — you just wanted to put on a good show for him.

“you gonna cum for me?” he taunts, the sound of your pussy squelching around your fingers as you drive them in is like music to his ears. you barely even noticed him fisting his dick, stroking it hard — matching the pace of your fingers hammers your cunt.  “you gonna make a big mess for me all over my desk?”

“professor i-” you whine, wanting more than just your own fingers inside of you, “please i need—”

“professor? what was it that you called me earlier?” he teases, “remind me of that and then maybe i’ll give you what you’re begging for.”

“s-sir please,” you sputter, barely being able to string a sentence together. you could feel you were about to cum hard. your fingers were still drilling into your pussy, and your hands were still suctioned on your tit and nanami's dick was taunting you. “i need you.”

“you need me hmm?” he mocks, his eyebrow tilting as he stares at your fucked out face.

“yeah p-please i need your dick,” you beg, your pussy was gushing all over your fingers, as your strokes got sloppier, “i need you i-in me.”

“oh really?” he asks with a smirk, a slight chuckle as you nod eagerly, “well too bad.”

“wha—”

“you really thought i’d put my dick in a slutty student that’s not even smart enough to even pass my class?” he lectures, he tuts his teeth, shaking his head, “now finish off for me and leave office hours end in a few minutes.”

“f-fuck,” you moan out, you could barely even process his words, too busy focused on cumming all over your fingers to think about how he just denied you of what you really wanted, your hand falls off your tit, your head jerking back as your release over his desk. he’s quick to cum too, biting down on his fist to surpress the loud moan threatening to come out

“you really made a mess for me huh,” he observes, swiping his fingers across the pool of cum you left on his desk and bringing it into his mouth, “sweet.” you were at a loss for words, you were just coached through one of the best orgasms you ever had from your professor — and he didn’t even touch you — yet you still don’t know whether he’s gonna pass you or not.

“so about that exam…?” you voice trails, as you put back on your shirt, hopping of his desk.

“i’ll think about it, sit the exam first and i’ll see what i can do,” his voice turns serious, and he nods his head in the direction for you to leave indicating for you to get up out of his office. but just before you're about to leave the room he calls out to you, “oi.”

“thanks for the live show.” 

☆ TOJI 

“why do we always have to fuck in such awkward spaces,” you complain nearly tripping on a basketball as toji holds you upright.

“you know you love it baby,” he smirks, pressing a kiss to your cheek, thrusting up into you further. 

you were in the gym supply closet, having your weekly sex with your university's gym teacher. you don’t even know how your little routine came about but once he started to hammer into you every friday after basketball practice, you’ve never missed a meet up.

“don’t call me that,” you groan out at the use of his pet name.

“why not?” he grumbles, cupping your tits with his hands as he stands behind you, “aren’t you students s’pposed to listen to your teachers and all that.”

you take a sharp inhale as his large hands smother your boobs, his thick things toy with your nipples, “but y-you aren’t a real teacher, in case you forgot.”

“am too,” he mutters like a child.

“a-are not,” you spit back just as childishly.

“am, too,” he persists, thrusting into you hard. pushing you down by your nape, forcing your hands to grip onto some random gym apparatus. he uses his foot to spread your legs apart wider so he can fit right behind you. fucking into you with something to prove.

“you teach gym to a bunch of brain dead j-jocks, wouldn’t say that classifies as being an actual professor toji.” you continue riling him up, biting your lip as his hammers into you harder. “you’re more like a glorified personal trainer than a teacher.”

he drives into you deeper, “oh and your just an uppity bitch, who still ended up fucking this ‘personal teacher,’ in a gym closet,” his mouth moves close to your ear, as he whispers, “so what does that say about you baby?” he presses a kiss underneath your ear lobe, before lightly sucking on it.

his words go straight to your core, him calling you an ‘uppity bitch’ had the exact effect he intended them to have — you throwing  your ass on his dick, fucking him back as hard as he was fucking you. 

he sends a smack to your ass, biting his lip as it ripples at the contact of his palm. his slaps were merciless, having you scream out every time he hits your cheek. “how’s this for a glorified personal trainer huh?” he coos in your ear, feeling dignified as you rut against him more feigning for more of his dick in your throbbing pussy. 

“ah you f-fill me up s-so so good,” you mewl out, as his dick pumps in and out of you stuffing you with every thrust. his mouth latches onto the nape of your neck, sucking on it as he ploughs into you deeper, hitting your spot with pinpoint accuracy.

“i know i do baby, i always stuff you good don’t i?” he groans out, your pussy was a vice grip on his dick, had him suppressing his moans whenever you clenched around him, “don’t know why you fuck around with these lame ass boys in your classes, they can’t fuck you like i do. do they?”

“well…” you voice trails in a teasing tone.

“dont f-fucking play with me,” he sputters, feeling himself about to bust all inside of you, “i’m the only one you fucking right,” when he doesn’t hear an immediate answer, he shoves himself into you his hips pushing right against your ass, “right?”

“y-yes fuck, right,” you sigh rolling your eyes at his act of possessiveness — ignoring how you pussy got even wetter at his words. “you’re the b-best i ever had, toji.”

“you’re damn right i am,” he scoffs out giving your ass one final slap as he says, “you going finish all over my dick, c’mon baby coat my dick with your sweet sweet,” and you do just that. you cum with a cry, releasing all over toji, as he shoots into you a loud groan leaving his mouth.

“aww i forgot how loud you get for me,” you tease him as he pulls out of you, turning to look at him with a grin, which he huffs out, “anyways what did i tell you about cumming in me, i'm not one of those cheerleaders you run around with,” you fuss swatting at his chest.

“yeah you aren’t one of the cheerleaders i run around with,” he repeats, “hence why i can cum in you, you know you’re my favourite fuck out of all my students”

“ugh you’re so gross.”

“you say that with my cum running down your legs,” he says, giving you a pointed look, his eyes staring down at your thighs, “i do have another hour till my next class i gotta teach, so i could clean it up for you?” he offers, already going down to his knees, knowing that was a suggestion you would not deny.

“if you insist.”

he starts to suck against your thighs as you lean against the wall, sandwiched between a goal post and a hockey stick, but just before his lips latch onto your pussy, he looks up to you with a pout, “do you really think gym coaches aren’t teachers?”

“oh shut up toji,” you mutter, pushing his head to your cunt.

☆ GETO

you storm into your professors office, pissed off. professor geto was the worst teacher you’ve ever had. he was cocky, arrogant and most of the time he didn’t have a clue what he was teaching. 

“ah miss know it all,” he muses, his personal nickname he created for you during his first semester of being your professor, “to what do i owe the pleasure this time.” you were no stranger to geto’s office, you were practically the only student that actually used his office hours. geto didn’t mind it though. the unplanned visits, your impoliteness — he was amused by it. 

“could you explain why you gave me a B, on my last paper?” you interrogate, waving said essay in his face furiously, “when we both know that this is easily worth an A.”

“i just think you could do better,” he shrugs nonchalantly, “i just think you haven’t harnessed your true potential, that’s all.” geto knew you were smart, the smartest person he’s ever taught. he just needed to get you in his office. and he knew a below average grade on an essay, that didn’t even matter, was the way to do that.

“and what do you know about potential?” you mutter, more to yourself than anything, “i don’t even know how you managed to get this job.”

he rolls his eyes at your comments, “do you really want this A?” 

"of course i want the stupid A," you reply, your tone determined. "i've put in the effort, and i've met all the requirements for this paper. there's no reason for you to give me a B except for your own personal bias against me."

“personal bias? some may argue that you’re actually my favourite?” geto leans back in his chair, a sly grin on his face. "but alright, then. here's the deal," he says, folding his arms. "if you can convince me right now, in this very moment, that you deserve an A for this paper, i'll change your grade. but you'll have to persuade me.”

“persuade you?” you retort, “what you want me to do a powerpoint presentation or something…?” 

he chuckles, shaking his head at your naivety, for someone so smart you somehow lack social awareness, “no i wanna see if you taste as good as you look.”

“you mean…” your voice trails, finally catching on to what he was getting at.

“come lay down on my desk,” he says casually as if this was a usual ordeal between the two of you. he could see you hesitating, “you do want that A right?” 

your feet were stuck in the ground, you never wanted to be one of those girls — ones that had to fuck a teacher just to get through university. but, regardless of your below A grade, you were more curious about what it would actually be like. especially with a professor that looked like geto. 

you lay down on his desk, nervous, you could feel his breath on your stomach as he slides down your jeans. he was kneeling down, his face at the same level as your pussy. he toys with your underwear, pulling at it and snapping it against your skin, giving you a smile of approval in your choice of panties. but just before he pulls them off you he asks, “you sure you want to do it smarty? you can run back to your dorm if you want?”

“anything to get the A,” you grit out, basically lying, since getting your grade improved was the last thing on your mind as he pulls off your underwear. 

he takes his hair — that was usually tied up in bun —  down, releasing his long hair, “just in case you need something to pull on,” he smirks.

his fingers slide across your wet slit, spreading your lips. he presses a kiss on your clit, slightly nibbling on it before working his mouth down to your pussy. you gasp at the contact as he latches his mouth on you, his tongue darting into your cunt at a quick pace. 

geto hums in satisfaction as you hands immediately go to grab his hair, pulling at it as his tongue gives you long strokes, lapping up all the juices already spilling out of you. “i didn’t think my star student would be this needy, if only the class could see you now.” he taunts lifting his head up, “i guess they wouldn’t be surprised though, your as hungry for my tongue as you are to answer questions in class,” he finishes with a chuckle pressing a kiss to your thigh.

but you’re quick to silence him, clenching your thighs against his head, “s-shut up,” you whine, thrusting your hips up in his face to meet his tongue. your head was swirling, you could barely remember how you ended up on your professors desk in the first place. but all you were focused on was clawing your fingers through his scalp as he slurps and sucks on your pussy.

“oh m-my god,” you murmur, soaking his face. he could tell by the way you pushing his face deeper into your cunt, his nose forced into your arousal that you were close.

“ready to let me taste you” he asks, his voice sending vibrations over your pussy, “wanna taste you so fucking bad.”

“fuck d-didn’t think it’ll be this g-good,” you whine out. he brings his thumb to you clit rubbing it as fast as he could taking you over the edge. you moan out, practically squealing, as you squirt all over his face. he smirks, trying to get as much as it as he can.

“i didn’t know my star student could squirt,” he teases, his mouth glistening with evidence of you, “or should i call you my star squirter.”

“haha, very funny…” you deadpan, becoming slightly shy at seeing him lick his lips wiping the last remains of you off of him.

“i guess my theory was right,” he concludes.

“what theory?” you ask, puzzled, forgetting the whole reason you let him eat you out in the first place.

“you do taste as good as you look,” he comments with a pleased grin, already reminiscing about you squirting all over his face.

“so about my A?” you ask pulling up your jeans, and collecting your things.

“yeah i’ll expect your rewrite on my desk by friday,” he shrugs, going back to his nonchalant persona.

“rewrite? did you not promise me an A if i can ‘persuade you,’ at how badly i want it?” you question, going back to your original state of being pissed off, “did i not persuade you mr ‘you do taste as good as you look.’ this is so unfair”

“ask me if i care about fairness?” he smirks, a laugh leaving his lips as he watches you storm out of his office, “hey! you left your underwear,” he calls out behind you, his laugh growing as you say nothing, putting up your middle finger at him and slamming his door shut.

☆ GOJO

“do you want to lose your job?” you chastise, “shut the fuck up.”

“but i can’t help it,” he purrs, nuzzling into your neck to suppress his non stop moans and whines that he was doing as he pushed his dick in you, “your pussy’s just too good.”

you were leaning against the desk of your professor gojo’s lecture hall, your legs wrapped around his bag as he hoisted you up, grinding his body against yours as his dick drives in your pussy. 

it was after hours, and gojo forgot to lock his classroom doors. as soon as your peers left the room he was quick to put his lips on yours, throwing all the stationary on his desk on the floor in the most dramatic fashion ever. 

you don’t know how you got entangled in a relationship with your teacher. since you didn’t actually benefit from it, and he was needier and clingier than an actual student your age. but the mind blowing orgasms he gave you every now and again made you forget all of his ‘bad qualities.’

“c’mon don’t tell me it’s not making you feel wetter,” he murmurs in between kisses, “the idea of someone walking in on me fucking your pretty little pussy.” you ignore him, your arms tightening around his neck as you bounce on his dick. “tell me that doesn’t make you hot,” he eases his dick out of you slightly, drawing both of your attention to his member already covered in your juices. his eyebrows raise when you look back at him as if he’s just proved his point.

“whatever, i guess the idea of us getting caught isn’t that bad,” you lie, knowing it was causing you to get better, “but if we do get caught then it's your ass gojo.”

“aww you’re so thoughtful,” he coos, “you really care about me and my job, will you miss me if i get fired?”

“well i’ll miss my on campus dick,” you mutter, scratching at his back, as he thrusts into you deeper, “but i’ll be able to replace you quickly i guess.”

“oh how you wound me,” he mocks, pulling you into a deep kiss, desperate to taste you. that was gojo’s favourite thing to do to you, of course your pussy was great, but your lips were his favourite thing. sometimes he’d even drag you out of the hallway into his office —not a care in the world if anyone was around— and pull you into his lap just shove his tongue into your mouth and fondle your tits.

for a lousy professor, gojo sure knew your body well. he knew every spot to hit, every place to kiss, every stroke to make and you loved it. the scratches you were giving him on his back, encouraging him to go deeper, stuffing you to the brim. “f-fuckk you take me so so well,” he moans in your ear, whining and grunting as you tighten your hold around him. 

“i’m close,” he mutters, his pace slowing. he lowers you down so your back is laying on the desk and he swoops his mouth down to your tits. enveloping your left breast with his mouth, greedily suckling at it. 

“wow already?” you taunt, “you’ve really lost your touch professor, when i was an undergrad we could go at it for days.” his mouth pauses, as he looks up at you with a pointed look that reads as ‘girl really? as if you aren’t close.’ he wasn’t wrong, from his deep long strokes in your pussy, and his tongue twisting on your nipples, you were ready to cum all over him.

“gojo shit,” you curse, your hand coming down to your clit, flicking at it fast to speed up your orgasm. but gojo slaps your hand away, almost offended that you would try to cum off of something other than his hands and mouth. he bites down on your nipple, punishingly and that sends you overboard. you let out a shriek as you cum all over his dick, your hand quickly coming over your mouth to suppress your whines.

“what happened to being quiet huh?” he mocks your warning from earlier, “don’t want to get caught, do we now?” but he’s quick to let out a deep moan, as he releases into you, spraying your walls with all your cum. he slumps over you, exhausted, and wanting to just feel you — gojo was always needy after sex.

after you both come down from your highs and clean up — thankful that nobody stumbled across you. gojo pulls you into his lap, dabbing kisses all over your neck, “so when you gonna let me take you out, outside the classroom?”

“y’know that’s not allowed right?” you remind him, looking at your professor as if he’s lost his mind, “what we’re doing now isn’t allowed, but out in public is a no go, gojo.”

“not allowed?” he retorts, as if it’s news to him, “i thought it was just heavily frowned upon?!”

an: sooo what did you think? which one was your favourite. me personal lame gym coach toji really did it for me. tagging my girl @jabamin mainly just for nanami. but yes ALSO IDK WHY I MADE THE READER DUMB IN THE NANAMI FIC, but I juxtaposed it by making you super smart in the geto fic so it balances it out. anyways lmk what you thought, thanks for reading!! DONT USE MY DIVIDERS

[mrsrdlw]

“Will you forgive me, please?”

Warnings: angst; eddie and reader are in a one year relationship; reader almost burst from stress; verbal fight; happy ending (the only right way, cuz i can’t stand when it ends sadly:)), no use of y/n (she is referred as sweetie/sweetheart), let me know if i’m missing something something

wc: 1.9k

summary: Reader is going crazy with how much is going on on her life. Studying for the final exams, work with terrible people. But on a weekend, when Eddie comes without warning you, you both fought for the first time in your relationship.

Being Eddie's girlfriend was the best part of your life. You loved him and the way he treated you. You've been together for a year now and, between this time, you got to know all sides of him. Goofy, funny, kind, sexy. But you've never seen him get mad. Pissed? Of course! All the time, he would be complaining about things or cursing other people who were assholes with him. But he was never mad, at least not with you.

But there was one specific time when you were having a terrible week. With the final exams, not to mention you mentoring other students, you were one step away from losing it. And there was your boss giving you the same speech all week because one of your co-workers snitched you for kissing your boyfriend at work. It was just a smooch!

"This girl's a bitch. Probably never touched a dick in her life!" That's what Eddie said to you.

But, by the end of the week, you were on edge. And being busy all the time, you never got the chance to spend a single minute with your boyfriend. But he would have to wait, the finals were more important now. Eddie didn't seem to agree. He showed up at your door with movies in his hands.

"Hey sweetie, i'm sorry i'm a little late. Had to kick some ass to get out of Family Video" You just hummed, trying to understand what was wrong with your calculus. "I'm great, thanks for asking!"

On his way he, unfortunately, met Jason at the same place. He didn't actually fought him, just some heated exchange of words. It got him a little pissed, but he was going to spend the night with you, so he pretended that he was fine. He was hoping that you would make him feel better.

"Eddie you can put the movie, i don't mind, but i'll not pay attention. I really need to review this"

"Yeah sweetheart, whatever you say" Of course. He was not listening, looking for some candies in your cabinet.

He sat by your side and kept talking to you. You were trying so hard not to cut him off, you really missed him, but you couldn't allow yourself that privilege of five minutes making out with him. So by the end of the first movie he brought, he started to say some curious facts about it but you let out a groan. "Fuck. Why physics were so hard?” You thought to yourself.

"Alright, stop. What the fuck? I've be trying to talk to you for the whole week, but you were too busy. Now that is your time to relax you're going to keep studying?" He said with a serious tone. At first you were quiet, waiting for him to calm down so you would not fight. But he said, louder this time "Say something, damn it!"

"What do you want me to say Eddie? I need to-" you were cut out

"Please, don't you think you studied enough? The whole week, is all you've been doing. You’re gonna burst into flames from thinking too much."He was now facing you, your book long forgotten as the both of you started to lose it.

"Well, for some of us, the constancy is required! I am not doing very good in this subject. I'm just trying to do my best and you should be doing the same." He shifted his body and giggled in a sarcastic way.

"Oh yes, let's remember that i was held back. So original. That's very dirty bellow the belt of you sweetheart." His facial expression was full of disappointment and anger.

"Can you not contort my words? I said as you should be doing your best too so you don't get held back again!" You regretted the time you said it. It was dirty of you and his eyes were not looking into yours anymore. "I know i was not very present this week, but can't you just wait 'till the goddamn exams to end. I don't know what happened for you be so rude but you shouldn't be taking it out on me!"

He was not looking at you, fidgeting with his rings, thinking of the right thing to say so you could stop fighting.

"All i wanted was to spend time with you, what the fuck is wrong with that?"

"There's nothing wrong, is just that i told you that i needed to get good at this."

"That's the fucking point, there's nothing to get better at, you've been working on it for so long, there is nothing new to see! Fuck, you’re not even answering when i talked to you."

"Stop being fucking dramatic Eddie! Do you think i like this, the way that i'm on the edge right now? Fighting with my boyfriend and friends, not having a fucking second to breathe because it feels like everything i do is wrong?"

"And i am the one dramatic. Let me give you a heads up. It's not the end of the fucking world if you fail a test. Besides, you couldn't do it even if you tried. You had to have sucked in the other tests to be held back, like me."

"Oh my god! Why don't you grow up a little and see how this is important to me? Look, we both are angry for some reason and are not in conditions to talk. I think is the best for the both of you for you to leave. So we don't hurt ourselves anymore."

"You always have to be so good and solve every damn problem, right? Only so in the end i can be the bad guy. Honestly, why are you the one to say what we should or shouldn't do?"

"Because it's my fucking house and i want you to leave!"

At this point, after wrestling and yelling at each other, you were with tears in your eyes panting without knowing what to do. Eddie gulped, stepped back and, not saying a word, he left.

The tears were rolling down your cheeks. Now there was no way you would focus on physics. You regretted so much. All the words said in the heat of the moment. You didn't mean any of them. And he probably didn't. You both said things to hurt each other in order to be right. Eddie was definitely upset about something, not just the lack of your attention. But now was not the time to find out.

——————

After a week, you finish every school exam and were finally free from school. And back in work, your co-worker was fired. She was caught fucking a random guy that you didn’t know on the boss’s office . “Guess Eddie was wrong” you thought giggling but getting upset the second after. You both have been avoiding each other. Eddie didn’t want to bother you and you didn’t want to hurt him. But it was time. You were tired of tearing up every time you remembered your fight.

So, at the end of your shift, you drove to the trailer park. It was the first time you fought and you hated. The feeling was that, at any second, you would lose him.

Knocking at his door, you stood there, waiting for him.

“Coming.” You heard his muffled voice. When he opened the door, he had an annoyed expression that shifted to a concerned one once he saw it was you. He was shirtless, wet hair and sweatpants that hung low on his hips. You didn’t know if it was because of the long week not seeing him, but he looked incredibly handsome. “Hey” It was the only thing he could say, surprised by your appearance.

“Hi… Can we talk.” You said hesitant, not knowing where to start.

“Sure. Please” He opened the door wider letting you in. Guiding you on the couch, where you both sat in awkward silence. It didn’t even look like you two were together for a long time. “I assume you’re here to talk about last weekend.” You nodded trying your best not to cry already which was really hard because of the way he looked at you.

“Look Eddie, i don’t even know where to start. We both lost our senses and said terrible things we shouldn’t. I honestly feel like-“ A feeling you grew accustomed in the past week grew in your throat. You couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. “I felt like i was losing my mind and that everything i was doing was wrong. You were right. I was taking too much at once and i couldn’t take it.”

“No no no. Sweetheart, i was the wrong one. I was worried about you and my own shit and i put that on your shoulders.” He said whipping your cheeks. “And as i usually do, to run away from my problems, i pretended that none of that was happening and didn’t realize how important studying was for you. I am truly sorry for that and for the fight.”

You hugged him tightly. His hands surrounded your waist and his nose nestled on your neck, sniffing your sent. He’d missed you deeply. “I’m sorry too” you said softly and moving away just enough to see his face. “I just want you to know that i don’t meant shit from what i’ve said. That was awful of me. I felt awful. I hope you can forgive me.”

“Of course i forgive you, sweetie. I was supposed to be the one apologizing. I also didn’t mean any of that crap. You forgive me too?” He said giving you a smirk that made you giggle.

“Yes. But only if you tell me why you were so worked up that night.”

“Oh shit, you’re right. My week was not great either. You know how much i hate finals. Before going to yours, i stopped at Family Video and i met with Jason Carver. And well, you know the story, he calls me a freak and i pretend that he hurt my feelings. But that night, he started to talk shit about us, like you were way out of my league. And until then i was like, tell me something i don’t know. But then the son of a bitch called you a whore and that you probably sold yourself for one fuck in exchange for a review of any subject. And i was like “what the fuck dude?”. I just lost my mind. Thank the metal gods that Steve stopped me from beating his face.”

“Oh my god! You could have told me” You don’t even know why you said that. You literally fought because you were too into your studies.

“It’s alright. He normally doesn’t piss me off. But I just can’t accept him talking shit about you. As if he knew you enough to call you a whore.”

The good thing is that you got back to normal and cuddled for the rest of the day. Eddie wanted to stay close to you as much as he could, so he asked begged for you to stay over. So here you were, before going to sleep telling how much you loved each other.

“Good night baby” Even in the dark room, you could see his beautiful eyes looking at you with so much love

“Good night Eds” Closing your eyes ready to sleep, felling your man’s hand caressing you, you were sure that you were in heaven. Out of the sudden you remembered.

“Eds!” You turned fast to him scaring him a little “You won’t believe what happened.”

“What?” Poor man, he was half asleep. You giggled at his confused face.

“Apparently, that girl from work did a lot more than touching dick…”

“I told you she was a bitch. A man knows”

“Shut up”

*if you have any ideas/request/sugestions; please sent it to me, my inbox is open. :)

[lovelytsunoda]

i can't get no satisfaction // mick schumacher

summary: camping out in the library after hours, and too stressed to retain information, the student librarian has an idea about how take all of that stress away. and it doesn’t involve reference books.

pairing: college librarian!mick x student reader

warnings: sex in a library, semi-public sex, this is so fucking filthy, mick is a sweetheart but he has a dirty fucking mouth. mentions of masturbation and sex toys. why does this man bring out the feral in me? the terms ‘librarian’ and ‘sir’ used in a sexual context (but in a playful way…for the most part)

authors note: now tell me why I can add a song here but tumblr won’t let me add ‘shallow’ as a song link to my angsty top gun fic and I had to publish it without?

there was a reason she always picked that table. a reason she’d started coming to the library in tight tops and cutoff shorts.

it gave her the prime viewing across the old library, beyond the green tiffany lamps, at the perfectly coiffed head of of blonde hair that rested behind the check in desk.

mick fucking schumacher. he was the reason most girls came to the library, if she was to be honest.

however, there was no time for that today, astronomy textbooks strewn across her table as she poured over star charts. she didn’t realize how late it had gotten, her test review notes only half filled out and an exam creeping up on her.

her ballpoint pen trailed across the computer paper as she recorded the names of the main theories behind how the moon formed, mumbling to herself in an attempt to remember the facts better. she had one Bluetooth earbud in, playing jazz music softly to prevent her mind from wandering.

it was all hands on deck if she wanted a chance in hell of passing her elective course.

two hands clapped down on her shoulders. she started, yelping as her pen trailed a thick black line across her page before clattering to the floor. heart racing, she yanked her headphone out, head whirling to see who had interrupted her.

“oh my goodness, I’m so sorry.”

mick. he stood behind her, clad in tight black slacks and and untucked dress shirt, the top few buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up to just before his elbows.

and, oh god, were her nipples perking up underneath her halter top?

“no, no, I should have paid more attention.” her voice was shaking, cracking slightly. “did you need something?”

“we closed like, fifteen minutes ago.” mick said sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck. “I didn’t want to disturb you, but I’m not getting paid overtime and I kind of wanted to go home.”

she sighed, massaging her forehead wrinkles with her fingertips. “yeah, okay. sorry, I didn’t realize how late it was getting.”

her stomach sank to the floor. she felt guilty for keeping him, and a sense of crushing dread when she realized how little information she really retained.

and under the student librarians gaze, his stunning ocean eyes boring holes into her skull?

she’d be damned to admit it out loud, but she felt horny as hell. she was so stressed with exams, and so wired from trying to study that masturbation was the only way she could get herself to go to sleep: tire out the body, and the mind will follow.

but her fingers didn’t cut it any more, nor did the tiny vibrator her roommate made her buy on a whiteclaw-fuelled trip to the local spencer’s.

“okay, just give me a second and I can help you put all of these away. I feel bad for keeping you now.”

mick helped her gather her things and tidy the table, offering her a metal shelving cart to load full of all the textbooks she didn’t need. they moved in an awkward silence as the blond reshelved the books and she pushed the cart.

“so, astronomy?” mick clicked his tongue, shelving a book on star charts.

“yeah, it’s a shitty fucking elective, that’s what it is. it’s causing me more stress than my actual subject major.” she snorted, sliding a few other books into the shelf. “I’m pre-law, but I’m not even sure if law school is what I want any more. right now, I just want to shut down, if I’m being honest.”

she stepped back from the shelf, moving to go around the cart when mick spoke up.

“so is that why you barely looked in my direction today?”

she stopped cold, her foot thudding against the side of the heavy metal cart. she bit back a curse, stumbling as mick caught her, pressing her body up against the shelving cart.

“I know you have a crush on me. I think it’s cute. you’re cute.” his voice was husky, and there was barely any space between them. her heart was beating faster, heat rising in her cheeks. “there’s a reason I always work at that desk too. seeing you makes my day.”

he was so close to her that she could have kissed him if he wanted to. all she would have had to do was press up on her toes to match his height, and gently touch her lips to his.

“don’t hide from me, pretty girl.” mick whispered. “I know how pent up you are, I can see it in the way your body responded as I ran my hands over your back. I want to help you. let me help.”

she swallowed, thoughts racing as she gripped his arms, looking up into his cobalt eyes.

she needed this.

needed him.

“yes.”

when mick kissed her, it felt like all the air was leaving her lungs. he was intoxicating, the heady scent of his cologne overwhelming her senses. she moaned into the kiss, aching and longing for human contact.

“my sweet girl.” he mumbled, trialing kisses up her jaw and over behind her ear, hands coming up to knead her sensitive breasts as she leaned back against the shelving cart. “when was the last time someone treated you right?”

“s-six months.” she stuttered, panting heavily.

it was pathetic, mick had barely even done anything and she was seconds away from whining for him.

he clicked his tongue, gripping her waist and pushing her back further against the cart. a few reference books fell to the floor, but neither student noticed. his breath was warm against her ear, the tip of his nose brushing her cartilage and making her shiver.

“that’s just won’t do. whenever you came in here, I bet you were thinking about sitting under my desk and using your cute little mouth the keep my cock warm.”

noticing how her body tensed up, the boy changed his tune. “or maybe you’re not into that. maybe you just wanted me to whisk you away to the rare book room and press you up against the bookshelf, have my way with you. our dirty little secret”

ah, yes. that was the reaction he was looking for, her thighs clenching at the thought as he slotted his knee on between her legs.

“that’s my girl.” mick cooed as she grinded against his thigh. “you just need my cock to fill you up, don’t you? those fingers of yours just aren’t the same, are they?”

she opened her mouth to respond, forehead resting against his, when she leaned back too far, the cart tumbling out from behind her.

mick caught her by the waist, smoothly spinning around and returning her to her feet, ignoring the toppled cart. nose to nose, the absurdity of the situation dawned on her.

and she laughed.

and he laughed with her.

that was what she needed from a man. someone who could laugh with her, even during their most intimate of moments, someone who let all the best parts of his non-bedroom personality shine through while also knowing exactly what she needed him to say to get her off.

a gentleman.

and that’s what mick schumacher was.

he carried her bridal style back to the long mahogany table, placing her down gently and sweetly before giving her a sweet kiss, his tongue teasing the seam of her lips.

“so, pretty girl, the ball is in your court now.” mick began, taking her warm hands in his cold ones. “whatever you need me to do, I’ll do.”

“I mean, I’ve heard the rare book room is super sexy. the smell of old books is like an aphrodisiac for me.” she said in a sing-song voice, thinking about his teasing from earlier. “then again, so are the vaulted ceilings in here.”

“I bet I could make you come so hard for me that you can see those stars on the ceiling fresco with your eyes closed.”

“wanna bet, pretty boy?” she was confident in her decision, but there was still nervousness behind her eyes.

she’d felt the way his dick pressed up against the seams of the zipper on his slacks. taking it was going to hurt.

he kissed her nose softly, fingers reassuringly rubbing circles on her skin. “I’ve got you, princess. you just need to relax and let me fuck all of that stress out of your pretty little head.”

she kissed him again, one hand on either side of his neck as she tried to press her body up against his, body flushed with need.

he gently turned her around, guiding her body so that she was bent over the table, the wood cool against her body.

mick playfully smacked her ass over her denim shorts.“such a pretty girl for your librarian, aren’t you?”

instead of the expected response, mick was delighted to get a laugh out of her. her giggles made him high, heat rising on his skin.

“was that supposed to be sexy?” she giggled, one hand reaching behind her to cradle his, thumb passing over his knuckles.

“maybe.” mick chirped. “baby, you’ve gotta let me have my other hand so I can get your shorts off.” she let go of his hand, allowing his smooth fingers to undo the button and gently draw the denim down her legs. “and for the record, I think that librarian is a damn sexy title.”

“but it’s not really a title.” she laughed, enjoying the feeling of his hands on her body, massaging the flesh of her ass before tugging her cotton panties to the side.

he smacked her ass again, cock perking up at the tiny moan she let out. “it can be whatever I damn well want it to be, princess.” his voice was playful, and it made her wet to no end.

she needed this adorable idiot to fuck her.

now.

there was little warning as he slipped two fingers into her, the cold of the rings on his fingers making her squeal as he started to flex his digits.

his fingers were so fucking long. they felt so much better than her own fingers did, that was for sure.

“that’s my pretty girl, taking my fingers like a goddamn champion. you’re fucking dripping, princess.” mick cooed, moaning at the sight of her arousal running down his wrist, the sound his fingers made as he scissored them inside of her. “atta girl, so good for your librarian, aren’t you?”

“yes.” she panted, bucking her hips against his fingers with a cry, reaching back to grab his free hand with the hand that wasn’t holding her steady on the desk. “oh, fuck, sir.”

god, she needed this. and for a nerdy guy, he sure fucking knew how to use his fingers.

she felt his hand come down on her ass again. “what did you call me?” his voice was light, with the hint of a smile behind it. “I want you to say it again, princess.”

“mhm, yes sir, please, I need more.” she exaggerated the moan, a playful smile on her face as she played right into micks hands.

she liked this banter they had going, this carefree way of looking at something most people took so seriously. no, this was an experience that felt uniquely her whereas other guys she had been with just did what they always did, not caring about what she needed to get off.

but with mick, yes, that dominant demeanour was still there, but in a gentle ‘let me take care of you’ way.

and that was sexy as fuck.

she whined as mick withdrew his fingers, tapping her side with two of his fingers. “turn around, pretty girl. I don’t like not being able to see your stunning face.”

while her thighs tingled, her chest bloomed with affection and love at the thought that mick thought she was pretty.

and it was true. the library was dim, the warm lighting from the tiffany lamps framing the flyaways from her hair and the pink in her cheeks. the cupids bow of her lips, and that gorgeous fucking smile.

he was so down bad for her, it made his cock ache.

she perched on the edge of the desk, wincing and attempting to hide her embarassment at the wet patch she was leaving on the old table, the unshaven landscape of her thighs (and between her legs).

goosebumps rose on her arms as she watched mick lick her juices off her fingers, moaning at the taste like it was his favourite thing in the world. sensing the goosebumps, he ran his hands up her arms to warm her up.

“you decide how far we go tonight, love. how many orgasms do you want?”

oh fuck.

mick laughed sweetly, seeing the overwhelmed look on her face. he kissed her forehead tenderly, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear. “how about we start with one and see you feel from there.”

“yeah. I’d like that.” she answered shyly, feeling the cold creep in.

the old library was drafty, yet kept to a very specific temperature. she expected to be overheating from how hot this encounter was, but alas, the air conditioning system just had to go and ruin it

“here.” mick said softly, undoing his shirt to expose the silver chain that rested below his sternum, a pendant with an orthodox saint carved into it.

he undid the shirt slowly, allowing her ample time to rake her prying eyes over every perfectly sculpted part of his body, right down to the tent in his pants.

sliding the shirt fully off, he used both hands to drape the soft fabric over her body. she swooned at the motion, letting him flip the collar up against her neck.

“don’t want you catching a cold now, do we, sweet girl?” he said sheepishly, his face flushed pink and a sheen of sweat on his abs as he cupped her face, leaning in to kiss her softly.

“mick.” she whined. “I need you now. I’m aching for my librarian to make me feel good.”

“I’ve got you, princess. I’ve got you.” he hummed, undoing the button on his slacks. he pushed down his boxers, erect cock springing to life.

“holy fuck.” she hummed.

his dick was impressive. all seven thick inches of it, resting against her thigh when she opened her legs and pulled him closer. she wasn’t even sure if it was possible for a dick to be pretty, but if it was, micks cock was the very definition of the word.

“so wet for me. I’ll slide right on home.” mick said, gripping his cock in one hand and running it all along her slicked up opening. now she knew her goosebumps weren’t from the cold, but from the anticipation of what was to come next.

“please, I need your cock.” she whined.

“whatever my girl wants, she gets. you just relax and let your librarian fuck all those little worries away.”

he slid in slowly, letting her adjust to take him inch by inch. the stretch burned slightly, and she found herself opening her legs wider with every inch. she had a white-knuckled grip on the table, her breaths coming out in a mixture of strangled moans and pants.

when he finally slid fully in, his heavy balls resting against her ass, she opened her eyes and changed a look down at where they connected, a moan leaving her mouth.

“that’s just what you needed, isn’t it love? a fat cock to fill you up and make you feel good.”

it was a question he didn’t expect an answer from as he started to thrust in and out of her, hands gripping her thighs to pull her in.

“oh, god!” she whined throwing her head back, breasts bouncing under her top as mick slammed into her. “feels so good, mick.”

“that’s my girl.” his voice was low and husky, but also soothing. his hands on her body was a grounding presence.

her fingernails scraped down his chest, leaving pink marks in their wake as she moaned, babbling incoherently about how good mick was making her feel.

it was heavenly. he overwhelmed every one of her senses. it was an out of body experience, if she was being honest. something out of her wildest dreams.

mick kissed her again, groaning into her mouth as he pistoned his cock in and out of her. she was practically dripping everywhere, but had no time or energy to worry about the mess she was making.

all she could think about was how good she felt with mick inside of her.

“just breathe, darling. you’re doing so fucking good for me.”

he shifted her position on the desk, maneuvering one of her legs over his shoulder. she yelped in pleasure, nails sinking into his shoulders as she screamed a curse.

“fuck, that feels so good!”

the new angle was dizzying, his length brushing up against her spongy walls with every thrust. her eyes rolled back and her vision went blurry from pleasure as she meweled under his touch.

“that’s it, pretty girl. come for me. come for your librarian.”

“oh, fuck, mick, I-“ her words tapered off into a hearty moan, micks shirt lying in a puddle behind her as she wrapped her arms around his torso, burying her head in his chest as she came with a cry of his name, tears leaking from her eyes. “mick.”

“I’ve got you, I’ve got you.” mick cooed, kissing her forehead as he slowed his thrusts, gently working her through her orgasm. “there we go, you’re safe here. just breathe with me, can you do that, princess?”

she nodded, out of breath as mick gently eased her achy leg off his shoulder and back down to the table. he slid out of her, and the empty feeling made her whine. he gently shushed her, covering her face in kisses.

“mick, you never finished.” she pouted

“don’t worry about it, princess. this was about you. all that mattered to me was that you got your earth shattering orgasm.”

she rolled her eyes, reaching for his still-hard cock. “let me do something nice for you, dumbass.”

and who was mick to complain when she was doing such a good fucking job stroking his cock? her hands were smooth and soft, and the angelic way that she looked up at him, that sweet smile on her swollen lips while her hands worked him to the edge?

within minutes he was bellowing, spurting thick measures of come over her hands and down her arm, his entire body shaking.

“Jesus Christ.” he muttered. “you’re good at that.”

“when you hate giving blowjobs, you learn how to give a damn good handjob.” she smiled softly, unsure what to do with her sticky hands.

mick scooped her up gently, carrying her away from the desk and down the long hall to the staff bathroom. “come on, love. let’s get you cleaned up.”

after they were somewhat presentable (because, after all, there’s little you can do about the flushed skin and sex hair when you’re still in a public library), they gathered the last of their belongings and started to shut the library down for the day.

“what about the shelving cart?” she asked shyly, gesturing to the cart they had knocked over.

mick laughed. “I don’t work tomorrow, so it’s someone else’s problem.”

she watched with a soft smile as mick turned all the lights in the old building off, before he linked his arm with hers and they began the walk out of the parking lot.

“I hate to sound presumptuous,” mick began “but you’ve been here all day and I haven’t seen you leave to get food or anything. you must be starving. there’s an all night diner about two blocks from here, and I’d like to treat you to dinner.”

she smiled, kissing his cheek. “I’d love that, mick. thank you.”

and they both knew that this was going to be the start of something wonderful.

as soon as exams were over, of course.

the rest of the student body’s female population was not going to be happy when they showed up at the library and found that y/n y/l/n had finally captured their librarian’s heart.

TAGS:

@magnummagnussen @libraryofloveletters @diorleclerc @twinkodium @thatsdemko @httpiastri @sidcrosbyspuck

[clovestreet]

let me- ethan landry

an: i am absolutely FERAL for this man atm...😨i just had to write something abt him..

summary: you have been super stressed about exams lately and ethan knows the best way to make you feel better. (also this is DEFINITELY more soft ethan??) but i like that.. lol

warnings⚠ SMUT (16+), oral (f receiving), strong language

Hell on earth was organic chemistry.

Your absolute fucktard of a professor had scheduled your exam on the same day as two of your other exams. This man had it out for you.

You massaged your temple as you drummed your pencil on your notes. Your brain wasn't functioning anymore. You had been sitting at this godforsaken desk for three hours now. You needed a break.

You forced yourself out of your chair and faceplanted on your bed next to your boyfriend in defeat. You sighed into the mattress and tried to gather your thoughts.

"Something bothering you baby?" your boyfriend laughed as he rubbed small circles into your back, clearly amused by your frustration with trying to memorize aromatic compounds.

"I can't do this anymore E, "I'm actually so exhausted."

"I wish someone would just kill the stupid bastard." you groaned into your palms.

Ethan gulped and immediately froze in his movements and you weren't sure why. But then he was comforting you again like nothing had happened.

"I'm sorry baby. If it makes you feel better, I just failed my last exam."

You laughed as he pulled you closer, the grasp of his arms melting away your stress.

"Honestly, I don't know if anything could make me feel better at this point.”

“Unless you can teach me the structure of carboxylic acid." you said with your hands on his chest staring into his dark eyes.

His chest shook with laughter and it was music to your ears. Ethan was so comforting and even being in his arms took you to a place far away from your worries.

"Definitely can't do that, but I think I can take your mind off it for a little while." he murmured into your lips.

"Oh yeah? How's that?"

"Well it usually starts with my head between your legs” he says in a low whisper.

You immediately feel your cheeks flush with warmth and squeeze your legs together.

You completely froze and waited for him to finish his sentence.

“ ..And ends with you screaming my name or something like that." he says with a devilish smirk.

He grins like a lovesick bastard at your embarrassment and tilts his head down to connect his lips to yours. He smiles into the kiss and you can feel your pulse weakening at the way his tongue explores your mouth.

His lips travel down your neck and you know exactly where he's going. You pull him off of you and look him in straight in his hazy brown eyes.

You and Ethan had been together for a little over a year now and you had been intimate more times than you could even begin to remember. You still got nervous before he went down on you and you just couldn't help but feel insecure sometimes, but Ethan always made you forget about all of it when he touched you.

"E, are you sure? You really don’t have to, I-”

He immediately stops you with a confused expression on his face.

“Baby are you kidding? I live for this shit.”

“I should probably get back to studying E, I just-"

He cut you off again, this time taking your head into his hand and made sure you met his gaze.

"Fuck studying. Let me make you feel good babe."

His thumb gently brushed over your cheek as he searched your eyes for an answer.

"Ok, fine." you said softly with a shy smile on your face.

"That's my girl." he said with a grin spreading over his face as he placed the softest kiss on your lips.

His fingers danced their way over your ribs under your shirt and his lips were placing gentle kisses on your hipbones. His fingers made their way down to the waistband of your shorts and his eyes quickly glanced up to yours asking for consent. You quickly nodded your head, becoming more and more eager for him to touch you by the second.

He pulled down your shorts gently and tossed them behind him. He hooked his fingers under your lace panties and pulled them down painfully slow. Once they were off, he grabbed both of your legs and put them over his shoulders. He wrapped his arms around your legs and pulled them open.

He looked up at you through lustful eyes while licking his lips.

"I got you. Always." he said in a low whisper placing a kiss on your inner thigh.

You brushed a gentle hand over his curls and offered a weak smile to him. You could feel your anticipation for his touch becoming stronger and your legs were shaking before he even touched you.

You could feel his breath on you and you couldn't take it anymore. You wrapped your fingers in his curls and guided him onto you.

He licked up your slit as you sucked in a shaky breath. Your thighs immediately clenched around him, but his strong hands pulled your legs right back open. His tongue started to circle around your clit and your fingers were already tugging on his curls. He groaned into you and the vibration had you letting out a choked moan.

"Right there E." you gasped.

He looked up at your face contorted in pleasure and started to grind his hips onto to the bed. Ethan was the kind of boyfriend who genuinely could get off from pleasuring you and have absolutely no shame about it.

He was lost in the taste of you and you were lost in his touch. You couldn't even remember what you were stressed about in the first place. Your mind was consumed by the feeling of his tongue sloppily tasting you and swirling around your clit, the tight grip of his fingers prying open your thighs, his dark eyes peering up at you through hooded lids occasionally rolling back into his head every time you moaned his name.

His hand slid carefully down your thigh as he slipped his middle finger into you, pumping in and out at a deliciously slow pace.

Your fingers tugged harder on his curls and he practically moaned into you.

"F-feels so good E, you're so good" you whined.

"I know baby I know, I'm gonna get you there I promise." he murmured into you, pressing wet kisses on your clit.

His words made you toss your head back and your back arch off the bed.

He slipped another finger into you, pumping a little faster this time.

Your fingers loosened from Ethan's hair and slid down his bare shoulders. His fingers started to curl inside you, purposefully hitting the spot he knew would send you over the edge. You moaned loudly and your nails dug into his back.

He groaned into you so loudly it almost caught you off guard. If you hadn't known better, you would have thought you hurt him. But you knew better by now. His sounds sent you even closer to the edge.

"Come on babe, let go for me." he breathed into you.

You could feel yourself impossibly close to your high with Ethan's gaze trained on your face. The second Ethan's nose rubbed your clit you were done for.

All you could do was moan his name over and over again, your nails digging into his back sure to leave marks. He fucked you all the way through your high until you were practically dragging him off of you.

You put your hand on the back of his neck and guided him toward your lips. God, he was so beautiful, even with the taste of you glimmering all over his features. You pulled him down into a breathless kiss and brought him closer by draping your leg over his waist.

He drew back and cupped your jaw looking down at you.

"I really hope you're not thinking about studying anymore tonight, because all I want to do-"

"Shut up and kiss me Landry."

[flickering-chandelier]

Was Any of it True? // ALTERNATE ANGST ENDING

Based on this request! 🖤

A/N: Here we go again! The beginning is the same, the new angsty ending starts after the row of black hearts. 🖤🖤🖤 (This one really hurt my feelings, friends 😭)

Word Count: 10.5k 

“I'm telling you, Az, she's pissing me off. The professor loves her, and I saw that she got a 100 on the exam,” Claire was seething while she and Azriel lounged in his apartment, eating the pizza he'd ordered.

“Mhmm,” he mumbled around his pizza, only half listening. Claire was always complaining about something. “And what did you get?”

“98! He took two points off because I didn't answer thoroughly enough,” she scoffed. “God, I hate her. She's going to push me right off the top of the Dean's list.”

Azriel blinked. “I mean, you'll still be very near the top of the list.”

Claire groaned, throwing her napkin onto her paper plate angrily, “That's not good enough!”

He rolled his eyes and she glared at him. “Don't be an ass! This is a big deal to me.”

“Oh, I know it is. This girl is all you talk about.”

“Because I hate her. Maybe if she got laid, she’d be distracted enough to slip up once in a while,” she grumbled.

“Yeah, maybe,” Azriel said, pulling his laptop out of his backpack and setting it on the table, a sufficient signal that he didn’t want to talk about his girlfriend’s arch nemesis anymore. 

No more than a week later, Azriel’s on-again-off-again girlfriend was off-again, and honestly, he was relieved. Claire’s obsession with being at the top of the academic food chain was bordering on insanity, and he was glad he didn’t have to hear about it anymore.

He was currently at a house party that Cassian had dragged him to, with a blonde girl that he couldn’t remember the name of sitting in his lap, one of her arms draped behind his neck, the other resting on his chest. She had been whispering in his ear all the things that she wanted to do to him, before Cassian interrupted, handing Azriel a shot with a grin. 

Blondie scowled at Cassian, who just smirked back as the girl that Cass had been talking to earlier sidled up next to him, wrapping her arms around his middle. 

Azriel knocked the shot back and handed the cup it had come in to the blonde girl. “Can you get me another one?”

She seemed annoyed, but took the cup from him anyway, striding into the kitchen. 

“Sorry for interrupting,” Cassian said, settling on the couch next to him, before pulling the girl onto his lap.

Azriel rolled his eyes. “Like I give a shit.”

Cassian snickered as the blonde girl came back, draping herself in his lap again, handing him another shot. He drank it, just as Claire appeared before him, her arms crossed over her chest, and her brow furrowed.

“What do you want?” he asked, his voice husky.

“I have a proposition for you.”

He smirked, making a show of tightening his grip on the blonde girl’s waist. “No, thanks. Been there, done that.”

“Not that kind of proposition, you idiot. Can we talk privately? I think it’ll be worth your while,” she said, her lips turning up into a sultry smile.

“I don’t know, Claire, I’m pretty busy right now,” he said, turning his gaze to the blonde girl, squeezing her thigh. She sighed dreamily, leaning further into him.

Claire groaned. “Look, Az, I really need your help. Please?” 

Azriel studied Claire, and he could see that it was true. She was wearing her most annoyed, don’t-fuck-with-me face, but her eyes were pleading. Sad.

He sighed, glancing apologetically at the girl in his lap before turning back to Claire. “Fine, we can talk.”

She led him into someone’s empty bedroom and shut the door behind her. 

“If this is about that girl you’re obsessed with, so help me,” he said. She winced, and he threw his head back. “Unbelievable. Claire, I don’t want to hear about this anymore! I don’t care about your problems.”

“Just hear me out!”

He crossed his arms over his chest, and raised an eyebrow at her, waiting.

“She actually is threatening my spot on the Dean’s list now,” she said, looking close to tears.

He looked pointedly at her. “And?”

“And I was thinking about what I said earlier… about how if a really hot guy was interested in her, maybe she would stop caring about her grades so much,” she said, smiling at him now.

“And?” Azriel just wished she would get to the point.

Claire sighed, exasperated. “I need you to seduce her.”

Azriel barked out a laugh, leaning his shoulder against the nearest wall. “You’re kidding, right? Why would I do that?”

She stepped closer to him, trailing a finger along his chest, her touch feather-light through his black t-shirt. She looked up at him from beneath her lashes, “Because I asked? Because I’ll give you anything you want,” she said, her voice dropping seductively.

He held her gaze, leaning down until their mouths were a breath away. Azriel heard her breath hitch.

Then he pulled away rapidly, and she blinked. “Sweetheart, you know I can fuck you anytime I want, right? That is not going to persuade me to help you.”

Her brow furrowed, her nose scrunching up. Oh, she was furious. Azriel's mouth turned up into his calculated half smile.

“What do you want, Az?” she huffed.

“Hmm,” he said, taking his time to think. Claire scowled. “I haven’t decided yet. But when I need to call in a favor of my own, you have to promise to do it. No matter what,” he drawled.

To her credit, she really looked like she was thinking it through, trying to think of another way to push this girl off the list. But finally, she sighed. “Deal.”

He pushed off the wall, walking towards the door. “Alright, so I just have to seduce the bookworm? Easy.”

Claire shook her head, her eyes still alight with her anger. “No, if I’m going to agree to any favor you could possibly want, you’re going to have to go further. You need to make her fall in love with you.”

Azriel bristled a bit, leaning against the door now. “I know I’m an asshole, but that seems too far, don’t you think?”

“No. If she’s going to be distracted enough that her grades will slip, you need to make it seem real,” she said, and then smiled as if she had a wicked thought.

“What?” Azriel asked.

“And then you break her heart, right before exams,” she said excitedly, her eyes burning with enthusiasm now. “You tell her, in front of everyone, that it was all fake.”

He rubbed at his bicep, a nervous tic that Claire picked up on immediately. “Jesus, Claire. I don’t want to ruin this girl’s life.”

She arched her brow. “Why not? She’s ruining mine.”

Azriel rolled his eyes and Claire pounced, “Any favor, Az. Any time, you can tell me to do whatever you want,” she smirked. 

He groaned, pinching his nose. “Fine,” he ground out. “Where do I find her?”

Claire beamed. “Where else would a nerd be? The library, of course.”

---

You shifted in your seat, starting to feel sore after poring over your notes for hours. Maybe you should go for a walk. Maybe. But, you still had so much to do…

Groaning, you crossed your arms on the table, laying your head down on top of them. Just a minute, you just needed a tiny break --

“Studying always makes me feel like that, too,” said a low, male voice. 

You lifted your head, bewildered, and nearly choked on your own spit. The guy who was for some reason deigning to talk to you was… well, what other way was there to say it? He was drop-dead gorgeous. 

His face was stoic as he sauntered up to your table, his jet black hair was just a tad unruly, his hazel eyes burning into yours. But it was his body that made the breath completely escape your lungs. He was dressed in all black, his t-shirt hugging his chest and his biceps, showing off his every muscle, and there were swirling black tattoos peeking out from under his sleeves. 

All you could do was stare as he took the seat across from you, leaning back with his arms crossed like the two of you did this every day.

“What class is that for?” he asked, nodding to the textbook open in front of you, the dozens of papers scattered around you.

“Organic Chemistry,” you said, trying to sound like you were normal and not completely surprised by this handsome stranger finding you in your favorite quiet corner of the library.

He let out a low whistle, “Damn, you are smart.”

“What, did someone tell you I was?” you asked. 

“No, I just figured when I saw all the --” he gestured to your cluttered workspace, “homework stuff.”

You arched an eyebrow. “Homework stuff?”

His mouth turned up the slightest bit, holding up his hands like he was surrendering. “You caught me. I’m not much of an academic.”

“Then what are you doing here?” you asked curiously.

“Now, that is an excellent question,” he said, and really did seem like he was questioning it. “Girls? Parties? Though I could get girls anywhere and I don't particularly enjoy parties.”

You nodded. “Ah,” you said. “Got it.”

He braced his arms on the table, leaning forward. “I take it you’re not into that kinda thing?”

A dry laugh escaped from your throat, “Definitely not. I’m really only here for the--” you mimicked his gesture from earlier, “homework stuff.”

He barked out a laugh, his stoic face completely transforming for the briefest of moments. You couldn’t help but stare. “You’re telling me all you do is study? A beautiful girl like you? Please tell me you’ve been to at least one party,” he said, looking at you incredulously. 

You blushed. “No, I haven’t been to any.”

You braced yourself for impact, for the teasing or insults to come, but he just smiled softly. “You wanna go to one with me tonight?”

Your eyebrows knit together in confusion. “You don’t even know my name.”

The side of his mouth quirked up into a smile, his eyes dancing with amusement. “What's your name?”

Rolling your eyes, you told him.

“Nice to meet you. I'm Azriel.” He raised his eyebrows, “So? Party?”

“I thought you just said you don't like parties!”

“True, but I do love the thought of corrupting a sweet, innocent bookworm,” he smirked.

“No, thanks.” You couldn't imagine yourself going to a house party, especially not with a stranger.

Azriel's cool-guy demeanor seemed to drop the slightest bit. “Why not?”

You looked at him pointedly. “I don't know you. And I have no interest in being corrupted. Why do you want me to come to this party so badly anyway?”

He shrugged casually. “I like you.”

“You don't know me!”

“See, that, right there,” he snapped his fingers and pointed at you. “You're funny. Smart, beautiful. What's not to like?”

You forced yourself to hold his gaze, even as a blush rose to your cheeks. “I'm not going to a party with someone I don't know. They make true crime documentaries about that sort of thing.”

He seemed to contemplate that for a moment. “Okay, you make a fair point. What do you want to do then?”

“What do you mean?”

“You can pick our first date, since you didn't like my idea.”

“What date?” You blanched.

He arched an eyebrow. “Our first date? Weren't you listening?”

You studied him for a moment. For the life of you, you could not figure out what this guy's angle was. 

As if reading your mind, he said softly, “Look, I just saw you and thought you were really pretty, and that it looked like you could use a break from studying. That's it,” he held his hands up again. “I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. If you want me to go, I'll go.”

For a beat longer, you watched him, his body language, his ridiculously pretty face. What was the harm, really? You sighed, tore off a scrap of paper from your notebook, scribbled out your number, then handed it to him. “I need to study. If you text me later, I'll let you know where we're going on the first date.” 

His face broke out into what might have been the first genuine smile you'd seen from him. He took the paper from you, his fingers brushing against yours.

“Can't wait.”

You were half expecting to never hear from Azriel again. But just a few hours later, as you were eating dinner in your apartment, your phone chimed with a text. 

Az: Done studying yet?

It was an effort to bite down your smile. 

You: Taking a break for dinner. 

It was less than a minute before he responded. 

Az: Dinner? Is that what our first date is going to be?

You didn’t try to hide your smile this time.

You: A little cliche, don’t you think?

Az: Oh, absolutely. So… what are we doing?

You: Meet at the tennis courts at 7 tomorrow?

Az: We’re playing tennis?

You: No, but I’m not giving you my address. And I’m not giving away the surprise.

Az: So smart. So mysterious. I’m swooning.

You: Shut up.

Az: See you tomorrow ;)

You tossed your phone to the side, forcing yourself to focus back on your schoolwork.

The following day you parked your car by the empty tennis courts on campus just before 7. It was early spring; the weather finally started to warm up enough to not be too chilly in the evening. Still, you rubbed your arms nervously. You were starting to regret this. You didn’t know this guy at all. What if it went horribly wrong?

Before you could contemplate bailing, a familiar figure rode up on a jet black motorcycle. Of course this guy had a motorcycle. You couldn't see his face underneath the helmet, but you would already recognize those tattooed arms anywhere. 

He parked his bike, smoothly sliding off it and taking his helmet off before sauntering over to you. “Hey, beautiful.” 

You rolled your eyes, sure that he had said that to a million girls on a million dates before.

“What? Don’t do that,” he said softly, his smile softening and his gaze raking down your body. “You are beautiful.”

“Thank you,” you said quietly, giving in. 

“So,” he said, towering over you. “What’s the plan?”

You smiled. “How’s your mini golf game?”

He raised an eyebrow, looking a little skeptical. “Mini golf? That’s what you’re choosing?”

“Yes, it is. Do you have something to say about that?” you teased. 

His eyes sparked at the tone in your voice. “Nope. Nothing at all.” He nodded to his motorcycle. “You wanna hop on the bike?”

You looked pointedly at him and he laughed. “Didn’t think so,” he gestured to your car. “Lead the way.”

Your nerves started to dim as the two of you fell into a rhythm going through the course. The two of you were just talking and laughing like it was normal. It was… fun, actually.

“Shit,” Azriel muttered as he overshot the hole. Again.

You laughed and his eyes flicked over to you, lingering a bit. “You’re good at this, bookworm,” he said as he took another shot, sinking it into the hole this time. You watched, leaning against your putter, having finished that hole two shots ago. 

Shrugging, you said, “I used to go with my family a lot.”

He placed his hand on the small of your back as you walked to the next hole. You cleared your throat, focusing on your steps, on your breathing, on anything but how it felt to have him touch you so casually. “What about you?”

“What about me?” he asked as you dropped your ball onto the green. 

You took your shot before you answered. The ball landed just shy of the hole. “What’s your family like?”

“My family…” he trailed off, clearing his throat, setting up his shot. He paused to look at you for a moment before he swung. “It’s complicated.”

He hit the ball and it stopped right next to yours. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry,” you said, as the two of you walked further down the hole.

“No, you didn’t. It’s just… I don’t really talk about them with anybody.”

You nodded, not sure where to go from here.

Azriel smiled reassuringly, nudging you lightly with his shoulder. “Stop worrying.”

“I’m not worrying,” you claimed, your voice an octave too high. 

“You are. I can tell.”

You bit your lip to hide your smile as you sunk your ball into the hole.

“I think I’m going to need some pointers from you on the next hole,” he grumbled. 

“I guess I could help you out,” you laughed. 

So, when you got to the next hole, the last hole, he stepped so close that your bodies were nearly touching. You tried to control your breathing. 

“You’re gonna help me out?” he murmured, his eyes flashing down to your lips for a moment. 

“Okay,” you breathed. 

He stepped behind you, his body pressed against your back, wrapping his arms around you, his hands covering yours on the club. 

“How is this going to help you, exactly?” you asked, your voice slightly unsteady. 

His lips brushed your ear as he said, “Oh, trust me, it’s helping.”

You couldn’t say anything. Could hardly breathe.

“What do you think I’m doing wrong?” He murmured. 

You swallowed. “You’re hitting it too hard. Not exactly rocket science.”

“Mmm. That makes sense. I do tend to go… hard.”

That finally had you coming to your senses. You stepped out of his grasp, turning back to glare at him when you were a safe distance away. 

The side of his mouth turned up into a smile. “Sorry. I couldn't help myself.”

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes at him again. “Just take your shot.”

He smirked at you for a moment, before he swung, and the ball went right into the hole. 

He turned to you, his eyes wide. You laughed and he hugged you, picking you up and spinning you around. 

You let out an involuntary squeal of surprise, and he laughed, gazing into your eyes as he set you back on the ground. “Thanks for the help.”

“I think you’ve been playing me this whole time,” you joked. 

His smile fell a little, his eyes sobering. 

“What’s wrong?” you asked. When he just stared at you, his expression unreadable, you added, “Azriel, I was joking.”

He blinked and then his natural, stoic expression was back as he took a step closer to you. “Right. I think you’re just a good teacher.”

You just looked at him, trying to decipher the changes in his mood, who he really was underneath the gruff exterior.

He smiled faintly, stepping even closer. “What are you thinking about?”

You had to crane your neck to look him in the eye now. “I'm trying to figure out what you're thinking about.”

Azriel's smile turned into a smirk. “I'm thinking… that I really want to kiss you. But I don't want to scare you away.”

Heat flooded your face and his smile turned softer as he cupped your cheek gently with a rough hand. “Would it scare you away?” He murmured.

“I -- don't know,” you said honestly.

His hazel eyes dipped to your lips and stayed there. “I think I'm gonna have to take the risk,” he said, his voice low, husky.

“I think so, too,” you breathed.

His free hand slinked around your waist, gently pulling your body into his. Your heart thundered in your chest as he leaned down, slowly bringing his lips to yours. He seemed to give you a moment to process, and you felt him smile against your mouth when you started to kiss him back, your fingers curling around his bicep, his shoulder.

You were breathless by the time he pulled away, and as the two of you drove back to the tennis courts, you couldn't help but hope that it would happen again by the end of the night.

When you parked your car near his motorcycle in the abandoned lot, he lingered, his gaze holding yours, dropping to your mouth again.

He shot you a crooked smile. “Aren't you gonna walk me to my bike?”

Rolling your eyes playfully, you got out of the car, walking over to the motorcycle and settling against the fence near it, crossing your arms over your chest. “Happy now?” You asked.

Slowly, he sauntered over to you, his eyes twinkling under the stars. He raised his arm, twining his fingers in the chain link fence above your head, leaning his body towards you, but not quite touching. He gazed down at you, still sporting that half smile. “Very happy,” he murmured.

Your breath hitched and when his smile widened, you knew he heard it. 

He held your gaze as he leaned down, bringing his mouth to yours again. You let yourself fall deeper into the kiss this time, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into you. 

When he finally pulled away, he was grinning. “Want to go for a ride before you head home?” He said, nodding to his motorcycle.

You had stepped far enough out of your comfort zone for today. “Maybe next time.”

He raised his eyebrows in amusement. “So you're giving me a next time?”

Damn. You blushed. “I said maybe.”

“Uh huh, sure,” he said, leaning in again so his lips were barely an inch from yours. “You can't wait to see me again,” he whispered.

You shoved him away lightly and he chuckled, backing up towards his bike, but keeping his eyes on you. “Until next time, then. Have a good night, bookworm.” He winked before putting his helmet on and speeding away.

A few weeks, a few dates, and several kisses later, you couldn't deny that Azriel was on your mind quite a bit.

You had never thought that someone like him would be interested in someone like you, but he seemed to prove time and time again that he did indeed like you. He texted you flirty little things every day, making you blush in class. He asked about your day, and seemed to genuinely be listening, and he would do pretty much anything you wanted on your dates. Last week, the two of you had gone to a local bookstore and he had watched you browse, a small smile on his face. He ended up picking out a book he wanted you to read and you did the same for him. He had been sending you daily updates on his progress through the book. Slowly, you were starting to let your walls down, despite yourself.

So, when he asked you to finally go to a party with him, to meet his friends, you accepted. You still felt cautious: partying had never been something that you were remotely interested in, but you trusted him.

---

Azriel knew he had to tread this next part carefully. Things had been going well with you. He let you take control of your time together so you would be comfortable, and honestly, he was actually having a really good time getting to know you and seeing where you would take him next.

And when you kissed him… God. It was always a struggle to keep his hands on your waist, to stay PG. He wished he could explore things further with you in that regard, but he wouldn't let himself go there. Not when your broken heart was the finish line.

He rarely let himself think about it -- the deal that he had made with Claire. Being with you felt so natural that he usually forgot he was supposed to be acting. That he was supposed to be leading you to Claire’s revenge.

He had convinced you to come to a party, upon Claire's request so she could see the progress he had made with you. You had said yes, he assumed because you trusted him enough now. The thought made his stomach roll. He was really starting to hate himself for getting mixed up in this.

Azriel acted differently around you than he did around the rest of the general population. At a young age he had learned to keep quiet, to not show a single emotion on his pretty face, to be tough, or be punished. 

With you… he couldn't help but smile. Couldn't stop the laughs that he usually stomped down for the rest of the world.

So, having his two worlds collide at this party…he didn't know exactly how to navigate it. Deep down, it made his heart swell that you trusted him enough to help you navigate something so far out of your comfort zone. But if his friends saw the way he acted around you, he would never hear the end of it.

This would be a mess.

If Azriel wasn't leaning against his motorcycle when you exited your apartment building, he may have fallen over. You were wearing skintight jeans and a black tank top that showed more cleavage than he ever imagined he'd see from you. His fingers flexed on his biceps. He wanted to pull you back into your apartment and spend an hour peeling those clothes away inch by inch.

He blinked the lust away, trying to maintain his stoic expression, but failed, as he always did with you. He smiled at you and you smiled back. 

He could tell by the way you carried yourself as you neared him that you were nervous. “Hey, beautiful,” he drawled his usual greeting as you wrapped your arms around his waist in your usual greeting.

“Hi,” you said, a little sheepishly. His eyes must have lingered on your curves a little too long because your eyes widened a bit, and you bit your lip nervously as you pulled away from him. He nearly groaned. “Is it too much? Do I look stupid?”

Azriel placed his hands on your shoulders gently, dipping his head to look you in the eyes. “You look amazing. Seriously.”

You blushed and murmured, “Thank you.”

He had to turn away, to grab your helmet, so you wouldn't see how much you affected him. He fucking loved it when he made you blush like that. 

Azriel turned back to you, holding up the helmet, his eyebrows raising with amusement. “You ready to join the dark side, bookworm?”

You sighed, shifting on your feet. 

“It'll be okay,” he said softly. “I got you.”

You nodded, seeming to resolve yourself, and reached for the helmet with slightly shaking hands.

He helped you make sure it was on correctly, his fingers brushing your chin, your neck. He bit back a smile as you shivered.

Azriel held your hand as you got settled on the back of the bike, showing you where to put your feet, and how to shift your weight with him.

When you seemed at least somewhat comfortable, he slid his helmet on, smoothly setting onto the motorcycle. You wrapped your arms around his middle, pressing your chest into his back. You were already holding him like your life depended on it, and he beamed freely underneath the helmet.

“Hold on tight,” he shot back at you, before he revved the engine, taking off much more gently than he normally would.

He tried not to think about the feel of you pressed into him, how tightly you were holding on. It didn't work. He wanted to drive you everywhere.

He couldn't resist reaching back to briefly squeeze your thigh at a red light. “How are you doing?”

“Good,” you said. He couldn't be sure, but he thought he heard a smile in your voice.

Too soon in Azriel's opinion, they had made it to the party. He parked, offering you his hand to help you get down.

When he pulled the helmet off your head, he was pleased to see that you were indeed smiling.

“Have fun?” He smirked.

“I did, actually,” you said, sounding a little breathless. 

“Whenever you need a ride, you just let me know,” he winked.

You laughed, glancing behind him at the house. 

He took your hand in his, squeezing reassuringly. You seemed to relax a bit. “We can leave whenever you want, okay?”

Taking a deep breath, you nodded and smiled nervously up at him.

You were doing this for him, he realized. Because he had asked you to. His heart constricted, guilt churning in his gut again as he led you inside, your hand squeezing his tightly. 

His shoulders tightened as he led you through the crowd, making sure you were tucked in close to him. 

“You want a drink?” he asked, as you made your way to the kitchen.

“Sure,” you said.

He rifled through what was on the sticky counter, trying to find something not disgusting for you to drink, making sure you stayed close to him. 

Finally handing you a cup, he put your hand on the small of your back, guiding you to a corner of the living room that wasn’t yet very crowded. He took a seat on the couch and you settled in next to him, tucked closely into his side. 

You smiled, leaning your shoulder into his. “Is this really it?” You asked skeptically. “You just sit here and drink around a bunch of drunk idiots?”

He laughed before he could stop himself. “I mean, yeah, that’s pretty much it,” he said, dipping his head to say in your ear. “Or we could dance. Or make out,” he smiled against your ear. 

You blushed and he laughed again, kissing your temple. 

Azriel wrapped an arm around your shoulders as Cassian and Rhys showed up, grinning at you, their eyebrows raised. Azriel fought the urge to roll his eyes. They had seen him laughing with you, kissing you, he knew. He had nearly forgotten where he was, why he was here with you. He loved them, but he wasn’t sure what they would say to you about him. They didn’t know about his arrangement with Claire, and he had been keeping details about his relationship with you as vague as possible.

“So you’re the one Az has been spending all his time with,” Cassian grinned. 

You smiled sheepishly, leaning further into Azriel. “I guess.”

Azriel nodded to his friends. “This is Cassian and Rhysand. They’ve been my best friends since we were kids.”

He could tell you were intrigued by that. He still hadn’t told you anything about his childhood. 

Before you could ask any questions, Claire showed up next to Azriel’s friends, her expression the very picture of friendship. It unsettled him so much that he held you closer to him, so you were practically on his lap. 

“Hi Claire,” you smiled, and his heart sank. You really had no idea how Claire felt about you. 

Claire smiled back. “Hey. I never expected to see you here.”

“I’m trying new things,” you said, smiling lightly at Azriel.

He couldn’t take it, having you so close to Claire, seeing that trust you had in him when you looked at him. He cleared his throat, standing up and offering you his hand. You took it, smiling politely at Claire and his friends as he led you through the house, out to the backyard. 

“Is everything okay?” You asked, looking up at him curiously as he leaned his back against the side of the house.

“Yeah,” he said, unable to stop the smile that rose to his face as you gazed at him with your big doe eyes. He tugged you closer, wrapping his arms around your waist. “I just wanted you to myself for a minute.”

“Oh yeah?” you flushed, and before he could stop himself, he kissed your cheeks, feeling the heat against his lips before his lips met yours in a slow, sensual kiss.

He was still kissing you when he heard Cassian snickering close by. “Oh shit, he’s whipped.”

Azriel rolled his eyes as he pulled away from you, but kept his hold on your waist. “How am I whipped?”

Cassian’s eyes gleamed with mischief and Azriel’s heart started to pound. “Sneaking out here on your own. You’re usually content to stay on the couch to make out with your girl of the week.”

Your body tensed in his arms and Azriel groaned internally, glaring at Cassian, who smirked. “Oh, she didn’t know? My bad, Az.”

Azriel’s expression was enough to send Cassian back inside. 

Your brow furrowed as you stepped back, out of his reach. “Girl of the week?”

He winced. “He’s being dramatic.”

You raised your eyebrows, glaring at him, crossing your arms over your chest. 

It was kind of adorable, but Azriel reigned in that comment. He held up his hands in surrender. “Okay, look. I told you when we met that I go to parties and meet girls there. But things are different now,” he said, taking a step closer to you. And it was true. Things were different. You had been the one haunting his thoughts since that first date. He had barely looked at anyone else since.

After a moment, you sighed, and he knew you wouldn’t resist when he wrapped his arms back around you. 

“Cassian’s an idiot,” he murmured, his focus back on your lips that he was dying to kiss again.

“So I’m not the girl of the week?” you said quietly, your eyes on his lips now. 

He smiled. “We’ve been seeing each other for several weeks, haven’t we?”

You nodded, biting your lip, before you stood up on your tiptoes to press a quick kiss to his lips. Azriel was surprised by his own relief. “Are we going back inside?” you asked. 

“Not if you don’t want to,” he said, wrapping his arms around your waist again. 

Pursing your lips in thought, you said, “Mmm. Let’s go back in.”

“Yeah?” he said, surprised.

You smiled up at him, resting your chin on his chest. His heart melted. “I’m trying to be brave.”

He kissed your forehead, smiling faintly. “I’m proud of you, bookworm.”

You beamed, your whole face lighting up. 

Azriel led you inside, his hand on the small of your back, trying to manage the swell of emotions in his chest. He didn’t have the time to process them right now. 

The two of you mingled throughout the party for a few hours, and you even went so far as to dance with him for a bit, your body pressed against his, your hips swaying to the beat of the pounding music. He could hardly believe it, the way you let loose with him.

He stopped in the bathroom before the two of you left. He wasn’t gone for more than a few minutes, but when he returned, he spotted you near the kitchen, backing away from a guy who was clearly very drunk and very horny. Azriel saw red. 

Before he could take a second to think, Azriel was upon the bastard, punching him in the jaw. 

He heard you yelp. The asshole staggered back, swearing, his hand cradling his jaw. Azriel barely spared him a glance, his hands gently holding either side of your face, his gaze raking your body, searching for any sign that he had touched you. 

Your eyes were wide, your breathing labored, but you seemed physically fine. “Are you okay?” he asked. 

You nodded, your eyes still frantic. 

He wrapped his arm around your shoulders as he led you outside. Claire caught his eye on the way out, hers shining with delight. He scowled at her. 

When you made it outside, he hugged you to his chest. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” 

“I shouldn’t have left you alone.”

You snorted. “You were gone for a few minutes. It’s not your fault that men are gross.”

“Are you okay, really?” He asked, pulling back to look you in the eye.

“I’m okay,” you said quietly. 

He held you close to him, gazing at you for another moment before you smiled faintly. “You really didn’t need to punch him, you know.”

He winced slightly, remembering the yelp you let out when he threw that punch. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” you said, rising on your tiptoes to kiss him. 

Azriel held you until his heart rate slowed down, until his body was convinced that you were okay.

Later, after he had dropped you off at your apartment, Azriel stayed awake, tossing and turning, so many images from that night racing through his mind.

The way his heart constricted every time you smiled at him, the horror he felt at seeing Claire play nice, the terror and rage that flowed through his entire body when he saw that creep bothering you…

Azriel knew then, that he had real feelings for you. Shit.

---

“C’mon, baby, you’ve been studying for ages already,” Azriel murmured, standing behind you as you sat at your desk in your apartment, his arms draped around your chest, his lips trailing down your neck.

Your toes curled, heat running right through you. You wanted to give in. You really did. But…

You sighed. “I’m sorry, Az. I have this big exam on Tuesday. And finals are only a few weeks away.”

For some reason, that comment made his entire body stiffen. “Oh, yeah. Finals.”

You snorted. “Don’t tell me you forgot about finals.”

“No, I just… they’re soon.” His voice wavered a bit as he stood up fully. You twisted in your seat to look up at him. His brow was furrowed, his eyes swimming with anxiety. 

“What’s wrong?” You asked, reaching up and cupping his cheek with your hand. “Do you need me to help you study?” He had never seemed to care about his grades before.

He leaned into your touch for a moment, shooting you a forced smile. “No, it’s okay. I’ll be fine. I should go, and let you study.” He stooped down to press a quick kiss to your lips. “I won’t distract you anymore today.” 

Before you could even respond, he was out the door. 

You turned back to your notes, but couldn’t digest any of the information. That was… weird.

Azriel and you had been dating for months now. Though neither of you had ever put a label on it, you both knew you were exclusive. 

In the privacy of your own mind, you secretly loved that he acted so differently around you than he did out and about on campus. You felt like you got a different version of him that was saved especially for you. It made your heart swell, all the little things he did for you each day. 

You were also willing to admit, to yourself only, that you were absolutely in love with him. You had known for weeks now, and had been debating whether or not you should tell him. 

He had been the one that made you step out of your comfort zone, to try new things, to be brave. 

So, soon. You would tell him soon.

--- 

Azriel had to get out of the deal. Now.

He remembered the exact moment that he realized he was in love with you. It was a random afternoon, the two of you were watching TV at his apartment. He was laying on the couch, you were laying on top of him, your legs intertwined with his, your head on his chest. He was absentmindedly running his fingers through your hair while you giggled about something that happened on the show. 

And he had the thought. I want my whole life to look like this. 

And he knew. He loved you.

This had scared him, obviously, on multiple levels. He had never loved anyone before, never knew what that looked like. Yet somehow, he knew without a doubt that it was true. 

And then, of course, there was the deal he had made with the devil. 

He had known early on that he would have to get out of the deal. He had just been putting it off, hoping that Claire’s insanity would die down throughout the semester. 

But now his time was up. 

He prayed to whoever might be listening that Claire would listen to reason. That she would call it off. He couldn’t bear the thought of hurting you. He wouldn’t do it. 

Claire smirked as she opened the door. “I’ve been wondering when you would show up. It’s been a long time, Az,” she purred. 

Azriel stalked into her apartment, barely sparing her a glance. “The deal’s off, Claire.”

She cocked her head to the side, amused. “Oh? Why is that?”

“Because it’s insane,” he growled. “You were insane for coming up with it, and I was insane for agreeing to it. I’m done.”

Slowly, her lips curled up into a lethal smile. “You fell for her.”

Azriel blinked. 

Claire cackled. “Oh, this is rich. You actually fell for the bookworm? I never thought I’d see the day. No wonder you haven’t been crawling into my bed.”

He scowled. “The deal’s off,” he repeated in the tone he used to scare people away.

She really looked at him then, her eyes bearing into his. After a moment, she finally said, “Okay.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Okay? Just like that?”

Claire shrugged. “You were right. It was an insane plan. And it didn’t even work,” she said bitterly. “You suck at your job. She’ll still be on the top of the Dean’s list, even after all your lovey-dovey shit.”

A swell of pride ran through him at the thought of your name at the top of that list.

“Alright,” he said, his brow furrowed, trying to figure out if there was some kind of angle here. But, there didn’t seem to be one. 

He left quickly, his heart and mind feeling lighter. The guilt of how the two of you started would always be there, he knew. But now when he looked into the future, it wasn’t a hazy blur of nothingness that he saw. It was you.

---

The week before finals, there were parties everywhere. So you heard. 

You had gone to a few more with Az over the past few months. It still wasn’t exactly your thing, but you didn’t mind going, especially with Azriel being so attentive to you every time you did. 

Azriel didn’t seem particularly interested in going to this one, but his friends had been complaining that they never saw him anymore, so he agreed to go. And you had agreed to go with him, if only to take a break from your near constant studying these days.

You followed him through the crowd, his hand clasping yours, as always. Drinks in hand, you made your way to the outskirts of a group of people who were dancing and you joined them, Azriel pulling you in close to him, moving against you.

A laugh burst from you, and Azriel grinned, leaning down to kiss you. 

You were so happy, you thought. So happy in that moment with him. You knew people watched you, as they usually did when Azriel was like this with you. You didn’t care.

When he pulled back from the kiss, he gazed down at you, his eyes swimming with affection. 

“I love you,” you said before you could stop it.

His eyes sobered, and he pulled you in even closer, so your bodies were flush together. He leaned his forehead against yours, and in a crowd of people, Azriel said, a soft smile on his face, “I love you, too.”

Your heart leaped and you grinned, threading your fingers in his hair and bringing his lips to yours. 

Suddenly, the music stopped, and from the TV came a voice. Azriel’s voice. 

Everyone turned to the sound, curiously, watching. The video was jumpy, filming the floor, like it was filmed from someone’s pocket. 

Azriel tensed, his arms still around you. “Fuck,” he said. “We need to go.”

Utterly confused, you didn’t argue as he pulled you through the crowd. But you stopped dead in your tracks when you heard video Azriel say, “Sweetheart, you know I can fuck you anytime I want, right? That is not going to persuade me to help you.”

Your blood ran cold, shock jolting from your heart down to your toes. Azriel was tugging on your arm, but you didn’t budge as you heard Claire’s voice next. 

Claire. He had been talking to Claire. What did he mean, that he could fuck her whenever he wanted? You hadn’t even known that they knew each other. When was this filmed?

“Baby, please, I’ll explain everything, but we need to go,” Azriel was saying, sounding frantic. 

You wrenched your arm from his grasp, weaving through the still crowd, moving toward the TV. You heard him swear, calling your name behind you, but you kept moving.

They were saying something about a deal, about him owing her a favor. You couldn’t make sense of it, not until you heard video Azriel say, “Alright, so I just have to seduce the bookworm? Easy.”

Video Claire responded, “No, if I’m going to agree to any favor you could possibly want, you’re going to have to go further. You need to make her fall in love with you.”

It was then that you noticed Claire, next to the TV, her eyes locked on you, smirking. 

You couldn’t breathe, your legs were going to give out -- 

It was all fake. All of it. 

Azriel caught up to you then, picking you up, slinging you over his shoulder. You didn’t protest, the shock setting in. You had to get out of there, even if it was him that carried you out. 

When he made it outside, you pounded on his back with your fists. “Put me down, you asshole!”

“Sorry,” Azriel said, wincing as he gently set you on your feet. “You looked like you were going to pass out.”

“Like you even care,” you spat, storming away from him. 

“Of course I care. Please, just give me a minute to explain,” he pleaded, following you. 

“Explain what?” You stopped abruptly, spinning around to face him. “That you played me for a fool? Made me fall in love with you as a sick joke? Well, congratulations, it worked,” you said, pouring every ounce of venom that you could muster into your voice. You turned back around and continued walking as tears started pricking your eyes. You refused to let him see you cry.

“It may have started out that way, but it’s not like that anymore. From the first date, I had feelings for you. I love you. You have to believe that,” he said, right on your heels. 

You knew he could catch up with you easily if he wanted to. He was hanging back, trying to give you your space. That pissed you off even more. “How could I possibly believe that?” 

“Because you feel it, I know you do,” he said, finally wrapping his fingers around your wrist.

You tugged your hand free, but stopped walking, needing to catch your breath. You faced him. “What was the point?” You asked quietly. “Why make the deal?”

It didn’t matter. But you had to know.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Claire and I used to date. When you transferred, you pushed her off the top spot of the Dean’s list. She hated you for it. She said she would give me any favor I wanted if I made you fall for me… to distract you from school.”

You were so surprised that the tears you had been holding in started to fall. You angrily swatted them away. 

Azriel continued, “I said no at first, but she was persistent, and…” he took a deep breath, darting his eyes away from you for a moment. They were shining with unshed tears. “I have no excuse. I agreed to it. I’m an asshole. But you made me want to be different.”

“Was any of it true?” You heard yourself saying, your voice breaking. 

He lifted his hand, like he was about to reach for yours, then let it drop, thinking better of it. “It was all true. From our first date, you were breaking down my walls, making me smile, making me laugh.” He smiled sadly. “I fell for you. I love you,” he said, and now a lone tear did slide down his cheek. “I called it off with Claire ages ago. I told her I was out, and she agreed. I… I didn’t know she filmed it.”

You wanted to believe him, that he really did love you. But… “Even if you do love me, that doesn’t change what you did,” you said in a small voice. 

Azriel sniffed, wiping the tears off his face. “I know. I am so, so sorry.”

Shaking your head, backing away from him, you choked out, “I don’t -- I can’t. I can’t do this right now.”

He took a step toward you, his eyes pleading. “Please. Please don’t go.”

Turning your back to him, you walked away, barely registering the pavement beneath your feet, the direction you were going. 

Azriel called your name, but you kept walking.

You knew he had followed you home, not letting you walk alone at night. You watched his form retreat after you locked yourself inside your apartment with trembling hands. 

You went to bed, not even bothering to change. Laying on your back, watching your ceiling fan spin around and around, you tried to identify all that you were feeling: shame, humiliation, sorrow. Fury. 

Replaying all that had happened between you, all the times he was probably laughing at you with his friends behind your back. You felt nauseous. 

How could he do this? How could he have played you for so long?

What the hell were you supposed to do now?

You woke up to several missed calls and texts from Azriel, all sent hours apart. It seemed that he didn’t get any sleep at all.

I am so sorry. I’m the worst person in the world. I know that. 

I know what you’re thinking right now. I know that you’re going over it all in your head. But, it was real, baby. It was all real. I swear it was. I love you so much.

I’m hoping you’re getting some sleep. Can I see you today?

Groaning, you tossed your phone to the side, and took a long shower. By the time you got out, someone was knocking on your door. 

You quickly dressed in some old pajamas and called through the door, “Go away, Az.”

“Well, at least you’re alive,” you heard him say. “Can I please come in? Two minutes?”

You threw the door open, furious. “No, you cannot come in. You humiliated me. You used me. You had your fun. What else could you possibly want?”

Azriel was standing on the threshold, his hands in his pockets nervously, his facial expression looked like you had just slapped him. “I want to apologize! I want to make things better, that’s what I want.”

Biting your lip to keep from crying, you said quietly, “Go away.” 

His face fell. “I love you.”

Shaking your head, you said, “You don’t.”

He took a step forward, wedging his foot on the door jam so you couldn’t close it on him. “I do,” he said, his eyes pleading, baring into yours. “You know that I do. You know I’ve never let anybody else see the real me. Nobody but you.”

Tears spilled onto your cheeks then, and he wiped them away gently. Despite everything, you couldn’t back away. “It doesn’t matter,” you croaked. “You only went out with me so you could help her ruin my life.”

Azriel opened his mouth, as if to reply, but then shut it. 

You laughed humorlessly. “See? Even you don’t have a comeback.”

His eyes softened, his rough fingers still absentmindedly stroking your cheeks. “Please,” he said again. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not enough,” you whispered, your heart breaking all over again as you looked up at him, at the pain in his eyes.

“How do I fix it?” He whispered back, tears sliding freely down his cheeks now.

“I don’t know,” you said, stepping back out of his grasp. “Please, Az. I just -- I need to be alone right now.”

He nodded, drawing his arm across his face to wipe the tears away. “Okay. Okay, I’ll umm -- I’ll see you later?”

You didn’t know how to answer that, didn’t know if you would see him again at all. He took a step back, into the hallway. 

Without another word, you shut the door.

Especially knowing where that awful bet had originated, you refused to let Azriel and Claire get in your head for finals. You buckled down, spending entire days at the library studying, writing papers, finishing projects. 

It was helpful, actually. You didn’t allow yourself to think about him, about all the memories you had that had become so tainted and confusing. 

By the end of the semester, you had maintained all your A’s, passing every final with flying colors. And thus, secured the very top spot of the Dean’s list.

Azriel had been texting and calling every day. You left them all unanswered. 

You hadn’t yet had time to think, to process through the hurt. 

A new text chimed as you were packing up your car to head home for the summer. 

Saw the list. Nicely done, bookworm. I know it doesn’t matter, but I really am proud of you. Looks like all that hard work paid off ❤️

Despite everything, there was a swell of emotion in your chest at his words. God, why did everything have to be so awful?

Later, you were hefting your last box into your trunk when you heard the distinct sound of a motorcycle slowing down behind you. Your heart raced. You couldn’t tell if you wanted to see him again or not.

Slowly, you turned around to see Azriel sliding off the bike, his helmet tucked under his arm. “Hey, beautiful,” he said, somewhat tentatively.

“Hi,” you said softly. 

He nodded to your car, his expression grave. “You’re leaving?”

“Back home for the summer,” you said, unable to take your eyes off him. He looked tired. And sad. 

A moment passed silently, the two of you just looking at each other, pain hanging in the air between you.

“I miss you,” he said quietly. 

You sighed. Willed yourself to be brave. “I miss you, too,” you admitted. 

Something like hope gleamed in his eyes. “I love you,” he murmured. 

“I --” you started, and couldn’t bear it. “I need time.”

He looked crestfallen, like you had just punched him in the gut, but he nodded. “The summer?”

You swallowed. “Okay,” you said. “Okay. I get the summer, and I’ll find you in the fall. We’ll talk then.”

“Thank you,” he said, quietly. “Thank you for… for that. For talking to me now,” he winced. “I know I don’t deserve it.”

“No, you don’t,” you said, but there was no malice in it. You were too tired. “I get the summer, Az. Don’t contact me until school starts.”

He looked like he wanted to argue, but agreed. “Okay. I’ll see you in September,” he said, backing up towards his bike. “Have a good summer, bookworm,” he added with the slightest of smiles, before he slid on his helmet and drove away.

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

You spent most of the summer moping around, reading books, and trying to sort through everything that happened, all the feelings you had. 

For three months, you sifted through every moment that Azriel and you had shared together, picking them apart, deciphering every movement. 

It may have been slightly unhealthy.

No matter what you did, you couldn’t unsee it: Claire’s smirk, her eyes alight with evil joy as she watched you unravel before everyone at that party. The party that you were only at because you trusted Azriel, loved him. 

You couldn’t get Azriel’s words out of your head. I just have to seduce the bookworm? Easy.

It had been easy for him. You melted like putty in his hands from the first time he touched you. Humiliation rolled through you in a wave again, even if there was nobody to see it. You had never cared much what other people thought of you. It was something you had always taken pride in. But this… this was an embarrassment, a hurt that ran bone deep. 

And that nickname for you, the one that sent butterflies through your stomach every time he said it, had come from there, from that awful deal he had made to publicly break your heart.

You couldn’t understand how to put the pieces together of the Azriel you knew and the Azriel who would do this, who had willingly hurt you so badly. It didn’t make any sense. It probably never would.

Thinking back to him calling after you on that dark street, your breath coming to you in short, shallow gulps, he had said that he had called off the deal, that he didn’t know she had filmed it. Like that was supposed to make it better. 

All it meant was that he wouldn’t have told you. You may have spent your whole life with him, and he would’ve kept that secret, forever hiding the fact that he had only noticed you because his girlfriend hated you.

And you would have spent your whole life with him, if he had let you. That was the worst part. You really did love him more than you had ever loved anyone, felt more than you ever knew you could. 

The love had been real, you knew, even if it hadn’t started out that way. That just made it more unbearable.

Dread filled your very bones as September drew closer, of the inevitable moment when you would have to see him again, lay everything out on the table. You still didn’t know what you would say.

---

On the last day of August, Azriel sealed his final letter to you. 

He put it in the box with the other 91 letters, one for every day that you were apart. 

It killed him, not being able to see you, not being able to reach out at all. But, you had made your boundaries very clear, and he wasn’t about to mess that up now, not after everything that he had done. So, he wrote and wrote and wrote, telling you all the things he hadn’t got to in person. 

He hoped that he would get the chance to give the letters to you, to express just how sorry he was and how deeply he loved you. 

The summer was miserable. For as much shit as Cassian and Rhysand gave him when he was with you, they had even admitted that they missed having you around, if only because it kept Azriel from being pissed off and mopey all the time. 

The worst part was that he had nobody to blame but himself. He had tried to blame Claire, at first. But, he knew it wasn’t sound. He was the one who had agreed to the deal, the one who had been with you every day, keeping that damning secret. 

It had taken him a while to work up the nerve to text you on the first day of September, asking to meet. 

He felt like he was holding his breath until you finally responded hours later, asking to meet up at the tennis courts. 

He couldn’t tell if that was a good sign or a bad one, that you had asked to meet up at the same place from your first date. It could be a sweet full circle moment. Or it could mean that you don’t want him near you, and want to meet somewhere public because of it. His heart cracked at the thought.

You were already there when he arrived, sitting under a tree, your body closed in on itself. His heart leaped at the sight of you after all this time. 

He approached you slowly, like he would an injured animal. When you looked up, you didn’t smile. His heart sank into his stomach, apprehension weighing down every part of him. 

“Hey, beautiful,” he said, trying to keep his voice light, but it came out gruff and raspy. 

“Hi,” you said timidly, gesturing for him to sit down. 

He did. It wasn’t lost on him that you were looking at him like he was a stranger. Maybe to you, he was now. 

Azriel stayed silent, waiting for you to speak, willing you to say that you forgave him and everything could go back to the way it was.

It took you another few moments before you said, your eyes trained on your hands in your lap, “I thought about everything a lot over the summer. Over and over and over again. And I just…” you looked to the sky, trying to keep the tears from falling, he knew. Panic shot through his whole body. “I can’t get past it, Az,” you whispered. “I can’t be with you, knowing how we started.”

Azriel felt like the world was spinning, like everything around him was on fire. “I love you,” was all he could manage, the words choked out of him. 

Finally, you looked into his eyes, tears falling down your cheeks now. It took everything he had to stay where he was, to not wipe them away. “I deserve more,” you said, your voice cracking. “I deserve someone who wants me from the beginning.”

“I want you,” he said, not caring that he was crying in public, that he was groveling on his knees where anyone could see him. “I love you.”

“Please don’t make this harder than it already is,” you croaked. 

Azriel wanted to argue, to kick and scream and cry. He wanted to beg you to take him back, to give him another chance. He wanted to throw that box of letters at your feet and prove that he had thought of nothing else, nothing but you for three months. 

But, it wasn’t what you wanted. And Azriel had done enough to hurt you already. 

It took every bit of strength he could muster to force his mouth to say, quietly, “Okay. I hope you get everything that you want, bookworm. Everything. I mean that.” 

It took everything in him to rise to his feet, to walk away and leave you behind in that grass. 

As he threw the box of letters into the dumpster behind his apartment with shaking hands, he knew without a doubt that his heart would never be repaired, that there would always be a hole in him that nothing but you could ever fill.

He wished he could go back to the way he was: the aloof asshole who didn’t give a shit about anybody or anything. But he couldn’t be that guy, not anymore. Not after you.

So, instead he spent his days walking through the world with the rest of the heartbroken, cursing his own damned name over and over again, until it meant absolutely nothing.

@loving-and-dreaming @birdsflyhome @hanuh @sheblogs @iambored24601 @thalia-as-blog @evergreenlark @ecliphttlunar @bookloverandalsocats @melmo567 @headacheseason @sillysillygoose444 @yourqueenlilith @mariamay02 @halibshepherd @azrielshadows1nger @cigvrette-dvydrevms

[nemesyaaa]

pairing : nerd!bf!pope heyward x cute!gf!reader

warnings/infos : fluff and bittersweet angst, no smut actually but mentions of suggestive content.

highschool sweetheart trope. teenagers in love vibes.

╱╲❀╱╲╱╲❀╱╲╱╲❀╱╲╱╲❀╱╲╱╲❀╱╲╱╲❀╱╲

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ sweetheart highschool boyfriend trope with pope heyward headcanons !

ღˊˎ your nerdy boyfriend pope was the one to always support you, more than your own parents and whole family. your academic weapon boy loved to covered your empty locker with full multi-colors post-it with motivation quotes.

ᰔᩚ “ i believe in you, pretty girl like you who never lose.”

ᰔᩚ “ the only thing so hard is the pressure you put on yourself when you think you can success this whole exam but i know how smart you are. and everytime in your late night session you show me how smarty you are, it make me more and more in love with you.”

ᰔᩚ “ if you want this ice cream so bad, you know what to do ;) “

ᰔᩚ “ you know what is bigger than your ass ? your fat thick brain. make me cum so bad everytime.“ (jj forced him to write this tho.)

ᰔᩚ “ but it's okay if you fail sweetheart, i'm here for you. but don't pout if i'm getting more strict in your study lesson. i just want to help you, how bad i will be to let my girl lose like that and don't win after ??”

ღˊˎ- every time you had a class, and he finished before you, he would wait against the wall. probably, playing video games on his console. jj keeping him company.

➸ btw if you're in an exam, that fucking smart brain is going to climb on jj's shoulders to reach the high window of the classroom and looked after you.

ღˊˎ- you and your genius boyfriend loved hanging out in the big library of the school. you helped him with his research, and you liked it when he taught you things. you loved the fact that he was so intelligent, and that he had passions to share with you.

meanwhile, you watched him speak, your eyes on his lips. and he will ended up kissing you. his soft mouth against yours. short’n lazily kisses.

ᰔᩚ pope was the type of boyfriend to kissed you while softly caressing your neck, getting his hands on your sensitive skin by his touch, his tongue pressed yours, light string of saliva covered your lips. such a fine loser boy.

➸ you were in love with his starry eyes. especially when they looked at you, and chased after you. you know, they cared.

"keep focus, sugar. we're not done yet.”

“ too bad, your smart brain actually turn me on.”

“ maybe i can help you with that ? “

“ oh yes, just continue to telling me some facts with this so serious face. don't stop using your brain but start to use your fingers, let them play with something better than your console.“

“ sorry ma’am but nothing is better than my conso…”

you rolled your eyes. and smiled. because you knew that he telling you the truth. you made him shut up by taking his console.

“ you need to make me cum, and i will give your console back. do you think you can do that, nerdy boy ? ”

“ be prepare to squirt, because is there is one thing here that nerdy boys are the most good at is clearly playing with their toys. so may i give you five orgasms ? “

ღˊˎ he walked you home, taking the bus with you. you were sitting next to each other. each of you had an earphones in your ear. you shared new playlists, and you loved going to a music store and collecting old vinyl with him.

he putted the music headphones on your small head, and you murmured a song that he tried to guess by the movement of your lips.

ღ ˊˎ pope was a pogue. he was not rich. but he will do his best to spoil you. but above all, he's a nerd, he's not obsessed with money. like everyone else he feels the desire to be rich but he is happy with what he has.

for him, it's more important to teach you new things, to spend time on the internet with you, or to play a game while you sit on his lap.

“ man, i can hear your boner.” say jj because pope and him were always together. sometimes, the blonde one came at your house without your consent, and his excuses was “ it's just for a game, i will not sleep here. “

"she's my girlfriend, she sits on my lap and plays like a goddess, of course i have a boner. but why my bestfriend have one?”

“ excuse me for getting a boner when my character is literally a woman with big tits jiggling all over the place, barely covered and in armor. and fights like a fucking soldier.”

“ you two are really….”

ღˊˎ you loved as much as you hated when pope helped you study. because he was so strict. he wasn't the type of boyfriend who was going to get distracted and fuck you because you couldn't think clearly and made him waste our time.

no he was the type of boyfriend to tell you "yes, we've been at this for hours but you can add three more hours since we're still at the beginning of the exercise.”

“ can we take a break ? “

“ i already gave you by let you procrastinate while i'm asking you these answers. “

“ ….pope ! “

“ no no, you can be dumb as you want with your idgaf teachers but not with me. if i'm asking for your answers, i will get it. you can take your time, i don't care. “

“ you're so mean. “

“ because i care of your results ? because i care about your future ? fine, i like being that mean so. “

you gave him a death stare.

“ you better change this look before i get far worse than you could have imagined. “

you pouted, even though it didn’t change anything.

“i don’t want to sound rude but if jj can do it, anyone can do it.”

“ the fact is i don't know who you insult the most jj or me….”

“ listen, i know how smart you are, like i know this brain is the most unique thing i've ever seen. use it, i'm already proud of you, but you just need to show me a little of your incredible intelligence. and not only me, to everyone. “

you started to think more and more, and ended up to work harder to gave him the answers.

ღˊˎ pope was the type of boyfriend to give you handmade jewelry. especially bracelets. and every time you wore them, he was so happy.

he was also the type to watch the sunset on the high school bleachers or on the beach sand for hours with you, his precious girlfriend.

when night fell and he didn't wanted to going home, he would teach you how to surf.

ღ ˊˎ pope loved it when you wore his clothes, mostly his summer shirts and especially when you wore nothing underneath. he was a shy nerd so he would never admit how much he loved watching your freely nipples, slapped by the fresh wind.

you appreciated taking a nap on his chest for hours and hours in the bed of your room, while he's playing with his console, and with his other hand, cuddle you a little. sometimes, he randomly talked, making your ears so soft to his calm asmr voice, while he told you about the games he actually played, geeking about the fantasy core that you were clearly not aware of.

ღˊˎ he was your first love and you had your first time with him. was the same for him, you were the first girl he loved, and it was crazy for him how you made him so dumb when he was so smart.

ღˊˎ he loved complimenting you, telling you how beautiful you were, but also how smart and brilliant you were. that you were more than what people saw or thought about you.

ღ ˊˎ he liked how precious your moments were, how time lasted so long with you.

ღˊˎ you had filled your bedroom wall with your first words sharing together, with things you loved about each other, with photos of our dates. you don't want to forget anything. him neither.

ღ ˊˎ you were so cute with him and always stuck together.

ღ ˊˎ you thought it was going to last a long time, forever and for life. you were teenagers in love, filled with hard feelings, young matters, academic pressure.

ღˊˎ but today, back in the present, you were wondering what happened to your high school sweetheart, was he married, was his wife as nice as you, did he have children, did they look like him, did he have a big house, did he have the one you dreamed of when you were teenagers, was he as happy as he was with you, was he still a pogue or had he changed his future? did he still think about you when you can't get him out of your mind ? did he hear your late night thoughts screaming his name ?

ღ ˊˎ you went back to high school. but he was no longer there. you were no longer young, nor in love. you were adults and married. in the same life that you thought you shared.

ღˊˎ when you tried to contact him by phone but another woman answered the phone to tell you that her husband wasn't there. you understood, understood that you had become a simple memory. and him, the hardest ghost to find.

ღ ˊˎ he was your high school sweetheart, such a smart nerd and such an interesting person. it was certain that he had succeeded in life.

ღ ˊˎ you tried to call him one last time. “you were wrong, i’m not that smart.”

and you burst into tears when you heard his breathing and alive voice.

“ congratulations, pope heyward. was the life you cherished for. “

[arvandus]

Daily Drabble - The Mortality of Aging (Asmo x GN!Reader)

CW: hurt/comfort; argument with resolution

Asmodeus has always been your biggest cheerleader, your biggest supporter, the one who pampers you daily with self-care routines, and reassures you about how beautiful you are, regardless of how you feel about your body. He will do your nails without asking, take on spa days to celebrate his latest modeling gig, and worship every inch of you when he has you in his bed.

Which makes it all the more confusing as to why he suddenly started acting so different recently. His smile didn't quite reach his eyes anymore, his words about self care became more of an insistence rather than a fun activity rooted in self-love. The more he pressed, the more you withdrew, and the more you withdrew, the more upset he got.

You couldn't understand what had triggered this change in behavior from him. Was his sin of lust and vanity growing in strength? Was he finding it harder and harder to maintain his attraction to you? It didn't take long for old doubts and insecurities to creep back in, weeds taking root in a garden that had recently been left untended.

It came to a head, as all things do when the pressure becomes too much. An evening following a tiring day where all you wanted was to rest, to snuggle against Asmodeus's side and fall asleep the gentle touches of his fingers against your skin and his soft lips pressing tender good night kisses across your face. It was all you wanted, all you needed in this moment, but Asmodeus was oblivious to it - which was so unlike him.

"Come on darling, let's at least wash your face..."

"I already washed my face."

"But the first time you didn't use the right soap! I bought you that new one, it's gentler on your skin. Don't you remember?"

Actually, you didn't. You couldn't remember half of the skin care things he wanted you to use, and he always seemed to come home with more the next day.

"Look, it's not a big deal, I'll start using it tomorrow. I'm just really tired..."

"Nonsense, it'll be fast. The night time is the most important time for skin care. Come on, I'll do it for you."

"Asmo, I don't want to!"

But he was already getting up, trying to pull you up to join him.

"Come on, sweetie, it'll only take a minute!"

That was a lie... Asmo's skin care routines were more like thirty minutes, and you both knew it, and you were out of patience let alone minutes.

Anger finally bubbled enough to get past your lips and you yanked your hand out of his grasp.

"I said no! Jesus, Asmo! What is going on with you??"

Asmo froze for a moment, then his eyes welled with hurt tears.

"I just want to take care of you! Why won't you let me take care of you??"

"This isn't taking care of me! Lately you've been pushing your skin care stuff on me, trying to control my diet, telling me when I should go to sleep and wake up and exercise... this isn't taking care, of someone Asmo! This is controlling someone!"

"I'm not trying to control you! I just want you to take better care of yourself!"

"I take care of myself just fine. I don't need you micromanaging me. I've been feeling less like your partner lately, and more like a doll that you want to play with. I'm not a fucking toy, Asmo."

His hands were up in defense, pale palms open towards you like white flags of peace. "Of course you're not! Sweetie, I never said you were. But I know that sometimes... well, you can slack off a little bit--"

Oh now you were seeing red. Your hands balled into fists, and now you were sitting up on the bed on your knees, ready to run for the door.

But not after giving him a few choice words.

"Slack off? Slack off?? Are you fucking kidding me? Asmodeus, I work my fucking ass off, and you know it. Do you want to know why I'm too tired to do your stupid 25 step skin care routine? Because I worked, all fucking day, wrangling your brothers, studying for exams, indulging the Prince of the Devildom when he wanted to talk, help Barbatos run some errands, help Lucifer with paperwork..." You pressed your hands to your forehead, frustrated hot tears welling in your eyes. "But yeah, I guess I'm a fucking failure because I didn't wash my face right, or use the right cream. I'm sorry, I'm not perfect, Asmo. I'm sorry I'm not just like you. And I'm so fucking sorry if I'm an embarrassment to be around because I'm not pretty enough for you."

The tears finally slipped, running burning tracks down your cheeks. But despite your desire to leave, to run out of his door to leave him standing there dumbfounded, you couldn't. Not until you heard his response. Your eyes challenged him, daring him to push you that last little bit, knowing that if he did so, it might ruin more than just your evening together.

Asmo fell silent and his breaths went shallow, as if his chest had been hollowed out by the cutting edge of your angry rant.

"Is... is that what you think? That I don't love you anymore?"

You choked on your own air, his soft voicing cutting you just as much as your loud voice had cut him. "No, that's not what I meant--"

"Isn't it though?" he asked, brows furrowed.

His hand reached out to you, guided by the urge to touch you, but he hesitated. Then he balled it into a fist and his arm fell limply to his side. His eyes looked down at the floor and stayed there.

"I... I know what I am," he said quietly. "I know that I'm vain, and self-centered, and obsessed with myself... I never really seen it as a bad thing. Why would it bad to love yourself, to take care of yourself? Our bodies are the one thing we are allowed to have complete control over. So why not treat it like the shrine that it is? Treat it with respect, with love, and others will treat you that way too."

"Do you think that's what's happening?" you asked. "That I'm not loving myself enough?"

Asmodeus lifted his eyes to you, his unshed tears still trapped in his thick lashes. He studied you for a long moment, his amber gaze drinking you in, and you knew in that moment that he still loved you. Achingly, completely, and utterly loved you.

"Maybe..." he replied, so quietly, as if uncertain about his answer, as if it wasn't something he'd considered before a moment ago. "All I know is that you're changing. You're changing, and it terrifies me. And you don't even seem to notice or seem to care..."

"Changing?" your forehead wrinkled, your eyebrows pulling together in confusion. "Changing how?"

Asmo stepped towards you, closing the distance until you could feel the warmth of his body in the sliver of space between you. His eyes roamed over your face, meticulous and slow. His fingers came up and lightly traced along the corners of your eyes, then down your cheek to the corner of your mouth. Your breath caught in your chest, trapped by longing.

"Here...and here..." he said quietly. "Little lines that weren't there before. They're small now, but.... they'll grow, get bigger, deeper..." He slowly withdrew his hand.

Your hand came up and touched your own face, and finally you understood.

"These? They're just age lines, Asmo... every human gets them eventually..."

He gave a small, empty laugh, and his trapped tears finally fell, shining crystals stuck to the flawless skin of his cheeks.

"I know," he replied. "I know. But it means that eventually, I'm going to lose you. And I can't lose you. I can't."

His head dipped forward and rested against your shoulder, the soft locks of his hair pressed against your cheek.

The burning ember of anger finally went out beneath your veins, cooled by the sad tears that now began to fill your vision.

"Asmo..." you whispered. Your left hand came up to cup the back of his neck, while your right hand came up to run your fingers through his hair. Then, you gently lifted his head until he could look at you. "Look at me. That's not going to happen for a long long time."

"Long for you, darlin'. I'm an angle turned demon, remember? Time is different for me. Another sixty to eighty years is not nearly enough time with you."

His hands cupped your face as he stared at you, and you watched as the warm affection in his eyes darkened into sorrow.

"You're the first thing I've loved as much as myself. Maybe... maybe even more than myself. It hurts... like my heart is living outside of my body, fragile and defenseless..."

You rolled your eyes playfully. "I wouldn't say defenseless..."

Asmo gave a small amused scoff, like sunlight peaking out from behind dark, heavy clouds. But then it was gone again, hidden away by the shadow of his sadness. "You're defenseless against time."

Your own smile faded, and your hands quietly covered his as you put your forehead to his. "I know."

A heavy silence fell like fog around the both of you. Asmo's eyes were relaxed and downcast in thought as you breathed each other's air and basked in the warmth of your tentative embrace.

A heavy question began to eat away at you, and you knew you had to ask it before it devoured all of your hope entirely.

"Asmo... do you regret it?"

Asmo's eyes looked up to meet yours, the colors of his irises nearly iridescent to the point of distraction.

"Hm?" he replied. "Regret what?"

You swallowed the fear that chained your tongue and tilted your head down. "Do you regret loving me?"

Asmo's thumbs stroked your cheeks and he lifted your face back up to look at him, nose to nose.

"Never. Never ever. And don't you dare think I'll ever stop loving you, either."

Tears slipped past the barrier of your lashes to catch on his thumbs. "Even..." you voice broke, and you swallowed. "Even when I'm old and wrinkled and ugly?"

Asmo looked crestfallen, his eyes shining again with unshed tears. "You'll never be ugly to me."

You gave a wry laugh. "Don't lie to me Asmo, it's mean."

Asmo's smile faltered and his jaw clenched before his grip around your face tightened. Not enough to hurt, never to hurt... but enough to get you out of your own head, and make you focus your full attention on him so you could see every drop of love, every bit of honesty.

"I'm not lying to you. You're beautiful now, and you'll be beautiful then too. These" - his thumbs stroked the faint hint of crows feet kissing your eyes - "aren't ugly to me."

"But you hate them, you were trying to erase them--"

"Because they scare me, doll."

A stubborn silence between the two of you as you stared each other down, you with your doubt, and Asmodeus with his persistence. Finally, he sighed and pulled you against him in a hug.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you and made you feel like you aren't enough. I'll learn to love them, I promise. I just might need some time to get used to them."

Your arms tightened around him and you inhaled the scent of his cologne. "I love you," you muffled into his shirt.

His hold on you tightened, his lips brushing your ear. "I love you more."

[bunnyteetharry]

Smart Girl

summary: harry comes and helps you during exam week at college with a happy twist

warnings: none?

pairing: fwb to lovers! + hockey player!arry (college based)

————⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆ —————⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆ —————⋆ ˚｡⋆

“No”

“I didn’t even say anything yet”

“Harry….”

The person who you were trying to avoid this whole week was leaning against your dorm room door frame with a huge smirk across his face

and his pretty dimples out in the open

You groaned and rolled your eyes “I already know what you want, and it’s not gonna be with me tonight. Go find some other girl to fuck, i on the other hand am busy”. He hummed crossing his arms giving you that oh so deceiving look with his eyes. “Busy with what exactly” you opened your door more widely to point across the room to your bed that is littered with text books and flash cards, highlights scattered on the floor from you stress throwing and your trash can filled to the brim with paper balls.

“I can help” he smiled widely “And what’s your idea of helping? Sitting there and looking pretty?” His eyebrow rose “You think I’m pretty?” his smirk was bigger than ever “Are you gonna help or not because I have a big exam this week and I’m not gonna let anything distract me from it, especially you” his smirk faded into a more serious expression and walked into your room, setting his bag on the floor and flopping onto your bed, patting the spot next to him “Well, aren’t you going to study” rolling your eyes you shut the door behind you

this was going to be an eventful night

As surprising as it seems, Harry was actually the most helpful, didn’t even crack a sex joke in the past hour, which would immediately earn him a gold star in your book. “Another correct! see, you’re going to ace this” you gripped your hair roughly “But what if I don’t, what if all of this becomes pointless by the end of the day, what if I choke and waste time, and what if-“ the feeling of soft lips hits your quickly, with Harry’s hand wrapped around your neck “Stop over thinking this….you’re gonna do great, you’re my smart girl” his voice was soft, Harry’s voice has different levels, in the matter of different situations yet he always was like this with you, never lying to get this end of the bargain, always bringing you snacks after the end of your classes to make sure your well nourished, filling up your water bottle up even when it’s halfway.

You didn’t understand what was going on between the two of you, neither did he. But ever since 5 months ago, he’s been following you around like a puppy dog at you beck and call, being named the campus play boy he’s quite the opposite once you get to know him

Smart girl. That’s what he’s been calling you since your first met in English class, at first you though he was just another jock who needed help with his work and you’d be paid off to get it done for him but once you were assigned as partners for a project, you met another side of him not many get to see, not even his hockey team mates.

You slowly started hooking up 3 months in, what became weird was the looks you’ve been getting

why would anyone like him be with someone like you, with the pressure of not being good enough and exam week beating your ass, you couldn’t face him anymore

“Why have you been dodging me like the plague” you lips parted them quickly shut, not willing to give him a full answer “I can’t Harry” you sighed not even daring to meet his eyes. His hands went up to your face, moving it to where you can face him “Talk to me” those eyes….always getting you every time.

“I don’t know how to live up to your level, you’re so close to going pro, you were raised up in the suburbs, never having to worry about the things where I’m-“ his thumb crossed over your lips “You’re perfect, that’s what you are. You’re enough, doesn’t matter what people say, you’re it for me. Once you’re my girl officially, you won’t have to worry about a thing, I’ll take care of you.” He brought you in closer, nudging your noses together “Harry” he hummed “What my love, hmm?” you peppered kisses softly all over his cheeks “Is this your way of telling me you like me?” He laughed lowly “Was bringing you snacks after class, checking up on you when you’re having a bad day, bringing you coffee every morning and dodging every girl on this campus to rush over here to fuck you not enough to tell you that I’m obsessed with you?” you shrugged and joke “Mm I don’t know, you probably say that to all your other hook ups” he hummed and nodded

“I haven’t been with anyone else but you since the day we met” you smiled looking down and messed with your cuticles “Not me, Me and Niall…damn does that guy know how to-ow!” Harry pinched you “That’s not funny” you smiled laughing almost out of breathe “Mm it was pretty funny, especially seeing you already planning in your head on how to murder Niall”

He kissed you deeply with a strong grip on your waist and neck “Mine, My smart girl” he grumbled between kisses, you giggled brushing his cheek with the pad of your thumb softly “M’yours Harry”

“Good, now that that’s settled let’s go get something to eat” he smacked your ass as you both got off the bed “I need to eat before I fuck you” you scoffed and laughed “And you just decided that on your own just now” you picked up your bag, putting it over your shoulder “Mhm” he grabbed his keys and motioned you out the door.

a/n: got a little sloppy towards the end cause I was running out of ideas but overall I’m happy with the outcome! hope you enjoyed as well <33

[arlerts-angel]

heyyy, i have a request 4 u!! 🤭

could u write sum armin nsfw with afab!reader with one kink that you like the most? praising, degrading, whatever u prefer!!🥴🥴

a/n: mkay mkay i can do that 😈 i've been brainrotting on dry humping with min so my kink of choice is endytophilia!! happy slutsgiving 😚 (endearing)

cw: armin arlert x fem reader, college au, dry humping, a little bit of plot but mostly smut, sub armin if you squint

taglist: @callm3senpaii @ringsofsaturnnnn @dilfkentolover @sleazymac-n-cheesy @darkstarlight82 @arlertwitch

"thanks for helping me study 'min, but i think i'm just gonna accept the F on this exam. i've done so much studying that my eyes are starting to cross and i still feel like i've learned nothing..." you let out an exasperated sigh and bounce your leg. the scent of armin's cologne and being so close to him has been a huge distraction.

"don't worry. we'll take a break and do something else to occupy your mind. you've been doing great." he smiles sweetly. there's really only one thing you want to do right now to de-stress. not only from the studying, but the tension between the two of you. you don't even know how to bring it up. armin isn't the type to just sleep around, and he's your best friend... but maybe he'll understand.

"um, can i ask you something? you can say no if you're uncomfortable." you ask softly. he nods. "of course you can." he sits on the small single bed in your dorm room. "actually, nevermind. can i show you instead...?"

he looks puzzled but agrees. "stop me at any point, okay?" he furrows his brows in confusion. "a-alright... what is it?" he asks. you sit on the bed next to him and put your hand on his thigh. before he has time to think, you kiss him softly with growing intensity. to your surprise, he kisses back. a few seconds later, when you pull away, he lets out of a soft whimper.

"what was that for?" he asks, cheeks flushed slightly pink. "i'll explain later. do you want to keep going?" he nods shyly. "...how much further?" you ask. "w-well, i don't have any... condoms." "we don't need them." "what?! of course we do!" he objects. you can't help but giggle. "armin, we don't even have to undress." he cocks his head to the side.

"let me show you." you whisper before kissing his soft lips again. his hands quickly find their way to your waist. you position yourself on top of him and swirl your hips, rutting your clothed and desperate cunt against his thigh. he catches on, quickly thrusting his bulge against your thigh. your soft moans and grunts are almost enough to make him cum right there. "s-shit!" he wails, grabbing your waist tightly to keep his composure. you shift slightly to grind your pussy right on the tent of his pants.

"oh god— oh fuck— please don't stop." he pleads, thrusting his cock in sync with the grinding of your pussy. "shit–! 'm getting close 'min" you moan. "y-yeah me too—" he holds you down, tight and hard against his bulge "right there, just like that— ohhhh fuck i'm cumming!" he cries out. "fuck 'miiiin—! 'm cumming too—!" you mewl as you reach your orgasms simultaneously; feeling his cock twitch as the sticky strands of cum shoots into his boxers.

"thanks, i really needed that." you admit sheepishly. "apparently i did too." he smiles reassuringly and kisses your forehead.

dividers by benkeibear

[lowkeyrobin]

hey! i liked your writing! could you write something about fuckshit and the reader preparing for exams? it's kinda boring, but i really need it right now. you can make it short. honestly whatever you want, feel free. thanks!

🔋

yeah sure! ; I just recently had exams as well and it was not fun 😭🙏 ; I rushed this a bit because I wanted to get it out for you but yeah lol ; also welcome 🔋! ; thanks for requesting, hope you enjoy :) ; I decided to put this in hc form because it was easier and I didn't have motivation to make this a whole ass readable oneshot LOL

FUCKSHIT ; exam prep

summary ; studying for exams with fuckshit

warnings ; language, mentions of weed, sexual jokes, making out, pet names (baby & babe)

word count ; 362

l/f/c = least favorite subject

masterlist

you were supposed to be helping each other study for exams

you mostly struggled with l/f/s while he was struggling awfully with biology/physical science

it was a struggle getting him to do anything LMFAOOO

"what function do ribosomes serve in the cell?"

he's just sitting there staring at you like 😒😐

"fuckshit"

"what??? oh my god, I dunno"

"just guess"

he's got the biggest attitude ever....

"to fuck you? dude i don't know"

"how are you a junior in high school again?"

yall get a little... distracted for a minute (a half hour)

he's literally straddling your waist and making out with you on his bed

he smells so rank but you couldn't care in that moment (the weed smell gets you sometimes let's be real)

you're massaging his scalp as he's straight up bruising your lips with how hard he's kissing you

one, he loves you and is addicted to you

two, he doesn't wanna study and is trying to distract you

his hands are EVERYWHERE trying to just make out with you

plus he's relieving your stress so... win win situation

anyway, back to studying...

afterwards, he's more compliant (much more high as well)

he's probably not gonna pass again but it's fine

you definitely are though, you're like a wizard or something

"damn, you're a fucking nerd"

"don't start"

"okay smartass"

"okay dumbass"

yall r doing anything but studying let's be so honest

when u are though... it's serious

he's a lot more focused while high so he can actually get shit done

for a while it's just silence while looking over notes and then he'll start staring at you all focused

he's admiring you, trust me

"what does this mean?" just to talk to you

"they rotate around each other at a specific speed"

"thank you, baby"

rests his head on your shoulder while he's reading over boring notes

"babe, what's the difference between prokaryotes and eukaryotes again?"

you spend 20 mins hyping each other up with music

like the stereo is blaring and you're dancing and jumping all around the room

you have to bribe him with kisses and weed to finish the last page of notes he had to go over

but it ended up alright

[aestrayla]

study session ft. gojo satoru

summary: you take satoru to the library to study for upcoming exams, what antics will he come up with while you’ve fallen asleep? ft. gojo satoru x f!reader

cw: SPOILERS (kind of lol), fluff, my humour, pet names (sweetheart)

word count: 0.4k

a/n: i'm currently DEFINITELY shadowbanned so hopefully this gets out to some if not anyone 😭 anyways, this is me writing about studying because instead of this i should be studying for my exams LOL

a kick to your foot had you jolted awake from your little nap, headphones halfway through playing [your fav song] and a pen stuffed between your fingers.

putting the pen back to paper, a second kick had you pulling your headphones off, brows starting to furrow.

the third, and final kick, had you shooting up from your seat, peering over the desk wall at the white haired man in front of you. the screech from your chair causing some to look your way.

“can you stop that?” you hissed, loud enough for only him to hear.

“stop what?” he replied, a dopey grin plastered to his face, clearly amused at your looming form above him.

“i was trying to study!”

“yeah right, i could hear you snoring from a mile away,” he snickered.

“fuck you, satoru,” you seethed under your breath.

“sorry sweetheart, but you weren’t responding to my texts,” he waved around his phone, the screen open to your text messages.

you peered back down to your phone and saw a flood of message notifications, all from one person.

2:26pm: samsung galaxy z flip 3: yo can u help me w this question??

2:27pm: samsung galaxy z flip 3: hello???

2:28pm: samsung galaxy z flip 3: oh so its like that??

2:30pm: samsung galaxy z flip 3: is that u snoring?? can u stop pls ppl are staring 🙄

2:31pm: samsung galaxy z flip 3: attachment: 1 image

2:31pm: samsung galaxy z flip 3: LMAOO watch this be my new lockscreen 😂😂

you look back at him, obviously annoyed and he just shrugs, clearly unbothered.

“so you gonna help me, or what?”

making your way around the rows of tables, you finally stop at satoru’s.

“so what’s the problem?” you lean over his desk, scanning through the mess of papers.

“the problem is,” he suddenly grabs you by your wrist and pulls you into his lap. you yelp in surprise, startled by his sudden moves, “i’m kinda hungry, can we go for crepes?”

you push at the desk to swerve around to face him, “crepes? seriously? i thought you said you were going to study seriously for me today!”

he pulls you closer by your waist, “please, we’ve been here for hours already. you know i need my daily sugar fix,” he pouted.

you narrow your eyes at him, eyeing his features. from his bright blue eyes to his criminally glossy lips.

“i promise i’ll study twice as hard tomorrow so, please?”

you sigh, “fine, i give up.”

a/n: who wants a part two where the problem is actually his throbbing d**k??! LOLL

©2023 aestrayla. do not modify, copy, translate or share.

[quickstappen]

track 005: this is for the best

A/N: we are slowly getting to the plot guys ;)) (also!! lando norris is a race winner! fucking finally) ignore the dates, also there might be some typos, sorry

A/N: i am so fucking sorry guys, but! as of today, i officially passed all my exams and now i have the whole summer to do absolutely nothing, no studying for me (fucking finally) so i'm actually gonna start updating, i already have a first part of a OP81 smau lined uo ready to go ;)

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marcilazzaro1 life lately ;) thank you for waiting, i am back and happier than ever, it's good to see Monza again

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shithappens SHE IS BACK!!

↳ ilpredestinatox i am so normal about this

nyoomf1 oh god, mother is back

charlies_sun good to have you back, this was getting ridiculous without you

↳ elplanxincoming so true!

madi_races don't fall in love with Marceline challenge (level impossible)

↳ strollingaway mate don't call me out like that

gorgeous_aa23 I'm sorry but that picture with charles?? what are they doing???

↳ cuddlyxricc it looks suspiciously lot like they're doing a hot lap

↳ gorgeous_aa23 that's what i meannn!!

↳ carrie_on no cause i'd literally die if they did that

redleclerc i am so not surprised that her first post in months is at monza

↳ redmilton_ the ferrari genes are strong i fear

quickstappen marci behind a camera?? does this mean... new projects?

↳ screwderriaf1 i want you to be right, i also don't wanna clown

↳ quickstappen does that meant that there's two wolves inside you mayhaps...?

↳ screwderriaf1 i hate you.

hammertime_1 i feel like we skipped over the whole "news of the season" way to quickly,, like... that happened??

↳ ilpredestinatox i also feel like it was important, let's talk

↳ hammertime_1 i wanna know what blondecedes thinks about this

↳ blondecedes i try not to think generally

view more...

marci's messages

mick's messages

liked by sebastianvettel, clairobernie_x and others

marcilazzaro1 I have been a part of this sport for 185 Grand Prix weekends (counting the COTA GP weekend that's starting today), I spent the last 123 in Rosso Corsa. I have missed only 8 race weekends during the whole eight years that I have worked in Formula 1. I've never had to take any extended leave. That's why this next months are gonna be so different, maybe difficult, but I'm ready for this next challenge.

Don't worry, I'll be back, you won't even notice that I was gone ;)

thank you for the memories scuderiaferrari, I'll see you soon.

see all comments...

blondecedes EXCUSE ME?? what is happening, i don't understand

shithappens what-

clairobernie_x you need to visit me now that you won't be going 'round the world every other week!

↳ marcilazzaro1 or you could just come to Switzerland and we can hang out?

↳ quickstappen i'm sorry, switzerland??? since when??

albono_23 what do you mean extended leave?? we just got you back??

brunolazzaro_03 workaholic

↳ marcilazzaro1 shut up

charles_leclerc I'm so happy for you! Can't wait to visit my favourites 🤍

↳ marcilazzaro1 Charlie 🥹 we'll be waiting

↳ ilpredestinatox GIRL- who is we

sarah_scott Can't believe my girl is so grown up, and it's all thanks to me

↳ marcilazzaro1 don't flatter yourself darling

↳ lance_stroll I strictly remember you claiming no involvement in this whole situation

↳ lewibear what is happening, why is my favorite f1 content creator catching strays form lance stroll of all people?

↳ zoebryne_x in Marci's comments section too lol

scuderiaferrari See you soon mama, the kids will miss you!

↳ byelandoo mama?? what do you mean ferrari admin?

lewishamilton Don't worry, we'll be back together in no time 😉 in the meantime enjoy your break, I have a feeling the peace is not gonna last that long

↳ redmilton sir, what do you know

gorgeous_aa23 girlll im so tireddd, just tell us what's going on

view more...

liked by mickschumacher, charles_leclerc and others

brunolazzaro_03 visiting my soon to be niece in fucking switzerland (since my sister decided to go and move in with some random guy??)

tagged: marcilazzaro1, federrere

(this is a private account, you cannot reply to this post)

see all comments...

charles_leclerc Niece? It's a girl? 🥹

↳ marcilazzaro1 Bruno! It was supposed to be a surprise...

↳ brunolazzaro03 oops, sorry?

↳ oscarpiastri ha landonorris! i win

↳ marcilazzaro1 did you... bet on my baby?

↳ landonorris ...maybe?

↳ lewishamilton and you were wondering why you're not the godfather

federrere pregnant sister is very moody and insufferable, 2/10 would not recommend

↳ marcilazzaro1 guess who's not gonna be the favourite uncle

sarah_scott i live for your commentary, please keep it up

mickschumacher excuse me, random guy? it's 4 time worlds drivers champion Sebastian Vettel for you

↳ brunolazzaro03 yeah yeah, the bee guy has a name and all

lewishamilton did you at least make sure that the "random guy" was being social?

↳ brunolazzaro03 he showed us his chickens

clairobernie_x i'm gonna spoil this baby so hard

view more...

madi's radio: hello, long time no see, marci's getting a baby! is Lewis playing cupid? idk idk we'll see

click here to be added to the carved my name taglist!

taglist: @sunny44 @rockyhayzkid @biancathecool @unluckyyoshi @woozarts @janeholt3 @celestialend @formulaal @d3kstar @yoremins @rd1410-blog @mess-is-my-aesthetic @callsignwidow @blaaahblubb @evans-dejong @lwstuff @emilyval1 @r0seandth0rns @fletchingarcher @blaaahblubb @notyaslol @dear-fifi @zimm04 @thewritingofspencerrose @elliegrey2803 @anthonykatebridgerton @firetruckstuckley @casperlikej @anephemeralwoe @vroomvroommuppett @taytaylala12 @kuskumu @clemswrld @bella-1 @leclercdream @evie-119 @tallrock35 @dannyleclerc @charkachow @flusteredmoonn @beslerek (xxx - couldn't tag you)

DISCLAIMER: i do not know anything about this people, this is not real life, this is just something for fun, i do not know anythings about their life or personalities!

[angelsyd]

Lurker | jjk

masterlist

pairing: jeon jungkook x reader

genre: college student!reader x stalker!jungkook, dark, angst, bsf!jungkook x reader, light smut, slight Taehyung x reader,

summary: jungkook has been your best friend since your first year of college. Things begin to turn weird when you start to feel eyes behind your back whenever he's not around.

word count: 3k

warnings: stalking, mature themes, blood, manipulation, cursing, death, knifes, entitlement,

notes: it's here! it's my first time writing something like this, so i hope you guys enjoy <3

______

You're sitting on your couch attempting to study for an upcoming math exam when you get a call from your best friend, Jeon Jungkook. You both met in your freshman year of college because you happened to sit next to him during class and he joined you for lunch in the dining hall.  Ever since then, you've been inseparable. 

“Hey, are you busy?” Jungkook chirped through the phone. 

“Unfortunately” you huffed. “I have this stupid algebra test next week that I need to study for”

“Just wing it like I always do, it works for me” he chuckled at your misery. 

“Unlike you Jeon, I actually need good grades” you match his playful condescending tone. 

You heard the creak of his bed as he got up. “Well, whatever, I'm coming over,” he announced, then hung up the call.   

Even though you were supposed to be doing your schoolwork, you couldn't help but smile at the fact that he was coming over to see you. You could use some time away from your computer and useless assignments. You lift yourself off the couch into the kitchen to go grab some snacks for when he gets here.

You and Jungkook are lying on the couch with your legs over his lap. You trace your forefinger over the outline of his tattoos while you watch the second season of The Summer I Turned Pretty. 

“Seriously, who the fuck names their kid Belly?”

You smack him over the head with a pillow. “It's short for Isabel!” 

“Then just call her that!” he laughed. 

You guys begin to settle down and continue watching when your phone buzzes from your back pocket. You reach down and open a text from Tae, the guy you met on campus a couple weeks ago. He was a really attractive guy, almost majestic looking, with curled brown locks that contrasted Jungkook's sleek raven mane. 

Tae messaged you asking if you were free this Friday because he wanted to take you to a new kbbq restaurant down the street. As you start typing a reply, you see Jungkook take notice and lean towards the screen.

He reads the message and quirks up a questioning eyebrow. “Who's that?” 

You can sense a strong worry sensation coming off from him. He's always been pretty protective of you and around guys who show interest. But you think it's due to him seeing you as the little sister he's never had. And it warmed your heart to think that he felt that way.

“Oh him? We met weeks ago and we started talking pretty soon after that” You smiled thinking about it. 

“Cool” Jungkook replied dryly. He turned back toward the tv with a blank expression plastered on his face. 

You wanted to console and reassure him that Taehyung was a really sweet guy who treats you like a princess, even though we're not even officially dating yet. But you decide otherwise and continue watching Belly fuck up for the millionth time. 

Midnight comes and it's time for Jungkook to return home. His mood seemed to get progressively better as the night went on and he started talking to you like normal again.

“I wish I could spend the night, but I got class in the morning” He frowns standing in the doorway.

“Don't worry about it Jeon, get some sleep” you say, patting his cheek in a caring jest.

You both bid your goodnights and you began cleaning up the mess of blankets and cushions on the couch. You pick up all the stray popcorn that landed on the couch during your fits of laughter and tickle fights initiated by Jungkook. You made your way over to the kitchen sink to wash the dishes, attempting to scrub the butter off the clear bowl. 

clink

The quietness of your apartment made the sound seem ten times louder. You turn around from the sink and peer around the room. You didn't see anything out of the ordinary so you return to cleaning, wiping down the countertops. 

clink clink

You turned your head sharply towards the noise again. It was coming from the screen door. You silently cursed yourself for deciding to live on the first floor. As you continued staring at the door, for some unknown reason you felt a big wave of fear come over your body, as if you were being watched. 

You didn't know why you felt this way, It could just be a street cat looking for food. You didn't see a cat anywhere. Before you could hear another strange noise, you bolt for your bedroom and lock the door behind you. You stood there against the door, your chest heaving.

You pull out your phone and start frantically texting Jungkook.

‘Are you still here? There's someone at my door and I'm freaking out’

‘hello? please answer’

‘jungkook?’

Delivered. It's been an hour of you confined in the closet of your room and he still hasn't replied to your message. He couldn't have walked home and fell asleep that fast. You haven't heard any other weird sounds since earlier, so you decided to stop being a baby and emerge from the closet. 

It was already extremely late so you took a shower and then lay on your bed after you made sure the windows were locked. 

The next morning, you're walking home from your last class of the day on a Facetime call with Jungkook. He always makes sure to keep an eye on you whenever you're walking alone. 

“Hey did you get my text last night?” you questioned him. You saw that he read your text when you woke up but he never replied, he just brushed over it and sent his usual good morning text.

“Oh” He hesitated a little bit “I meant to ask you about it but I forgot”

“You could've just been hearing things you know, you were just tired,” Jungkook added.

You sighed into the phone thinking about the events last night. Maybe he was right, you might have just been tired and imagined a bump in the dark to be a bigger deal than it really was. A small part of you still felt afraid of someone trying to break in at night. It's especially scary considering you live alone.

“You're probably right” you bit your lip in thought “do you think you could stay with me tonight? Just to be safe?” 

“Ye-yeah of course” You could practically see his eyes light up through the phone. You hung up the call as soon as you reached your apartment. 

Later that night, you and Jungkook are sitting at the kitchen counter working on homework. He's hyper-focused on his computer screen, trying to finish his assignment before the midnight deadline. 

You take advantage of the fact that he's not paying attention to admire him. His sleeves are rolled up, exposing the muscle tone of his forearms. A round pair of glasses sat on the tip of his nose, making his usual strong appearance seem more soft. 

He was a very good-looking man, the kind of bad boy type that everyone is drawn to at least once in their life. Everyone else you knew anticipated you two would eventually end up together. You couldn't deny ever having slight feelings for the boy, it has crossed your mind a few times.

“Finally“ Jungkook taps the enter key loudly and slides his hands down his face.

You laughed at his gesture and closed both of your computers, sliding them further down the counter.  He sat back relaxing his body in the chair. 

“Can I use your bathroom? I've been holding it in this whole time” He asks with some humor in the last sentence. 

“You know you don't need to ask” You giggle at his question. 

“Hey I'm being polite” He lifts his arms up in defense and walks out of the kitchen, making his way to the washroom.  

You pull out your phone and text Tae. He confirms that he’ll be at your place by six tomorrow afternoon to pick you up. You squirm around in excitement. It was nice to be able to go out with someone after what felt like decades of being single. 

Your fingers type away in a playful conversation with your upcoming date. The thin hairs on the nape of your neck begin to stick up. A sensation you remember all too well. 

 You held a tight grip around the phone. As if it were the stuffed animal you held as a child, protecting you from the dark. You didn't want to turn around and face who, or what could be behind you. 

As you frantically peer around the room, you notice that the hanging mirror in the living room is visible from where you're sitting. You squint in its direction to get a better look at the door less than a foot away from your back. 

For a second you see nothing but darkness. Then a hasty hand places itself against the glass, slowly sliding down. Your whole body shivers with fear at the sight. You let out a horrified scream and ran out of your seat and into the living room. 

You whip your head back towards the screen door, but the person was gone. You stood there breathing heavily, your hair was sticking to your cheekbones from the cold sweat. Once you stood long enough to ensure they weren't coming back, you rushed towards the bathroom door. 

Before you made it, Jungkook was already halfway down the hall. 

“We need to call the police!!” you grab both his arms in a death grip “It happened again!” 

“What do you mean? What happened?” he asked with the most puzzled look on his face. You paused at his reaction. How did he not hear?

“Jungkook, the weird noises? They're back, i-i saw hand and everything” You try to remind him. You searched his eyes trying to look for some fear or an ounce of belief in you. He placed both of his palms cupping your cheeks. His touch felt cold, it made you flinch a little. 

“y/n listen, I didn't see or hear anything” he spoke. “I think you're just imagining things” He was speaking to you as if you were a child. You knew what you saw, but his calm demeanor threatened to make you second guess. 

“Come here let me prove it to you” He led you by your hand through the kitchen and up to the window. He unlocked the door and slid it open. You stood there biting your lower lip nervously. He walked out and looked around. ‘Nothing’ he mouthed to you. 

He gestured for you to follow him outside. You hesitated at first, but then you decided not to make a fool of yourself anymore and stepped out. 

“That wasn't so bad huh?” Jungkook smiled lovingly at you. You tried to match his smile, but you were still a bit nervous on the inside. 

“Wait look” he points ahead in the dark. You turn your head quickly, searching for a figure in the darkness. You felt a pair of strong hands slither their way up your back and to your shoulders.

“BOO” Jungkook yelled in your ear. You scream and stumble onto the floor, hurting your ass. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” you yell at him. He’s bent over laughing uncontrollably, tears in his eyes. After a minute he walks over to you and offers his hand. You take it and he pulls you up to him. 

“I'm sorry I had to” he chuckles with a little guilt mixed in. You huff and walk back into the apartment, leaving him behind. 

The dress you wore hugged your body beautifully, the satin fabric wrapped around your curves in a sexy but classy way. You didn't want to reveal too much so soon. You thought you looked gorgeous, and you assumed Tae did too by the way he kept glancing at you in the passenger seat. 

When you arrived, he got out of his seat and opened your door like a gentleman. You could tell he was trying to make a good impression. You both walked side by side into the restaurant. it was a lot fancier than you imagined, you were glad because you looked extremely polished up. 

The waiter sat you guys at a small table in the corner. Tae ordered a round of drinks for both of you, and you appreciated the dominant move. 

“I'm glad you came” Tae smiled at you “you look amazing.” His comment made you blush and look down. You returned the compliment and you two made small talk for the next hour. 

You felt your phone buzz next to you. You didn't want to be rude so you looked up at Tae, he nodded in approval and took a sip of his drink. It was a message from Jungkook. You texted him your location earlier to be safe, ‘just in case your date was a cold-blooded murder’ as he put it. So he was probably just checking up on you.

He asked if you were leaving soon and you replied that you were leaving soon and that Tae is staying over at your place for a while. Jungkook read the message quickly but he didn't respond. A little later, Tae paid the bill and drove you back to your place. 

Both of you were sprawled out on the couch in a heated makeout session. You didn't know what started it, maybe it was the three margaritas, or maybe it was the low-lidded look on his face. But right now you didn't care about that. 

Tae's hands glided over your body, leaving nothing untouched. You sucked in a sharp breath every time he inched closer to your heat, you were desperate for him to touch you there but he only teased you. He smirked at your breathless whimpers and kept kissing you.

“We should move to the bed” You whispered in his ear. He nodded and lifted you up by your thighs, you let out a surprised squeal that only seemed to turn him on more. He placed you gently on the bed and started lifting up your dress.

You help him and lift it up slowly, teasing him like he did to you. You throw the dress across the room leaving you in your matching set. Maybe you lied about not wanting to reveal much, you didn't wear your best lingerie for nothing. 

Tae climbed onto the bed, he placed kisses trailing from your covered heat to your breast until he was hovering straight over you. He placed wet kisses on your neck and collarbone. You peered around the room, your vision blurring in pleasure. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you see a shadow in the window. You shut your eyes, trying to get back into what's happening with the man above you. You couldn't help but look again, and what you saw made you jump. 

A man with a hammer smashed into the window, glass shards flying everywhere. You scream at the site, crawling backward on the bed. Tae gasped sharply and looked around the room frantically for a weapon. He settled for the lamp on your nightstand and stood up. 

The man swiftly jumped through the window, landing on the glass. The moonlight shined on his face, revealing his identity. 

Jungkook.

Your breath hitched. Tears streamed down your eyes. You screamed his name but he didn't acknowledge you, he was looking at Tae.

In one swift motion, Jungkook lunges at him. They both fell to the floor in a mess of throwing fists. The awful sounds of hands meeting bone fill your ears. You quickly come to your senses and search for your phone in the bedsheets. 

You press the emergency service button and wait with shaky palms for someone to pick up. You didn't see Jungkook make his way over and snatch the phone, throwing it across the room. 

He yanked you by the hair, dragging you to the floor. The pain in your scalp inhibited you from hearing what he was saying, all you heard was a loud scream. He dropped you and held the back of his leg. Blood was gushing all over the floor. 

You turned and saw Tae on the floor, glass shard in hand. His face was swollen and red from Jungkook's punches earlier. You wanted to reach out and comfort him, but you thought better than it.

Jungkook turned towards the man on the ground, eyes beaming with anger. He searches the ground and picks up the hammer, bludgeoning Tae with it. 

“STOP!” You scream. You choked on your sobs, barely able to breathe. 

You pull your knees to your chest and cover your eyes with your arms, trying to drown out Tae’s pleas for mercy. You sat in that position for what felt like an eternity until the noises stopped.  A moment later you felt familiar arms wrap around your body. 

“Shhh it's okay” He whispered in your ear “I'm here with you.” 

The calmness of his voice disturbed you. How could he do this? The man you knew for the past year is no longer here, instead, it was a monster. A cold-blooded killer. 

He lifted your chin to face him. You felt warm liquid smear from his fingers and onto your skin, it sent shivers down your spine. Jungkook gazed at you with the loving look from before. He leaned down and placed a firm kiss on your lips. 

“I've always loved you, since the beginning” He spoke against your lips “I'm the one who deserves you."

You hesitated a moment before playing along. 

“I love you too, Jungkook”  

You reached behind and grabbed a large glass shard. When you secure the weapon firmly in your palm, you lift it up in a swift motion and spear Jungkook in the chest. 

He gasps and claws at the piece stuck in his torso. You shove him flat to the ground and rush towards Tae's body. 

You hold his limp figure in your arms, more tears streaming down your cheeks. You thought back to all the weird events from before. It was him this whole time. The shadows in the dark, the feeling of being watched. It was all Jungkook. 

You held Tae tighter, whispering apologies he'll never hear. You stayed like that until the sound of police sirens filled your ears. 

[prodbymaui]

Phantom Limb (Equidistant)

did we come close to having it all?

PAIRING: jeong jaehyun x you

GENRE: slice of life; the hows of us

TEASER WC: 848 words

SYNOPSIS: Between the distance of sorrys and goodbyes, where does 'us' lies?

RELEASE DATE: October 30, 2023

TAGLIST: open !! (you can send an ask or comment your usn)

AUTHOR'S NOTE: if you have questions, you can send an ask. and NO, I didn't re-write the whole movie and replaced Jaehyun's name. the teaser is just a teaser and the actual fic will have a lot more which will be different from the movie.

YOU WERE YOUNG.

''Hmm this is how it feels when you've finally bought something with your own money, huh, Jo?''

''Jo? Is that the name of your ex or side chick?''

''What.. No.'' Jaehyun chuckles. ''Jo in scottish means darling, sweetheart–.. beloved.''

''Pfft, fine. I like that. Jo..''

YOU DREAMED TOGETHER.

''When we're both finally stable and successful in life, wouldn't you be arrogant?''

''Arrogant? Why would I be?''

''Because your boyfriend is the world's most famous singer.''

His imaginations emit a hearty scoff from you. ''Then you're arrogant by then as well.''

''Uh-huh, and why is that?''

''Because your girlfriend, the president of your fansclub, is the doctor who found cures to cancers and rare diseases.''

''And I would be so proud of you when that happens.''

''Someday, love.''

''Someday, Jo.''

THERE WERE UPS.

''Happy birthday, the love of my life!''

''Thank you so much, baby! You didn't have to!''

''Uh-uh, I have to and I want to. You've been juggling studying and working at the same time and I know it has been hard. A great woman like my love only deserves the best of the bests.''

''You're such a sap. I love you, Jeong.''

''I love you, Jo. So much that it hurts.''

THERE WERE DOWNS.

''Jaehyun? Could you maybe wash the dishes before you go? I'm just really short of time.''

''I'm sorry, Jo, but I need to go. All the guys are there and you know how they go when practicing by themselves.''

''Oh.. I'll do the dishes. You take care, hmm?''

''Dude, are you tone-deaf? You're literally fucking out of tune.''

''What do you mean, bro? I think it sounds fine.''

''No, no, you're not fucking hitting the right note. You know what? Get out.''

''Jaehyun–''

''Get the fuck out of my house. What the fuck is happening to musicians nowadays? If they're not taking it seriously, they're fucking tone-deaf.''

''Love, maybe you should rest first.. ?''

YET YOUR LOVE WAS STRONGER.

''Girl, be honest with me. Are you still studying? Your life before used to be all about studying, studying, studying, and a sprinkle of Jaehyun. But now it's all Jaehyun, Jaehyun, Jaehyun.''

''Rosé, come on. You know we're still waiting for Jaehyun's biggest break. After that, I can focus back on studying.''

''And if that break doesn't happen?''

''Don't be so negative!''

STORMS AFTER STORMS.

''Hello? Do you know anyone named Jeong Jaehyun?''

''Hi, yes. That's my boyfriend. May I ask why you're calling from his phone?''

''You might wanna pick him up, he's dead drunk, been here since last night and won't leave. I'll just text the address from his number, I guess.''

''A-alright, I'm so sorry for the inconvenience–''

''Oh, and you might want to bring extra cash with you. His 7k bill is not yet paid, not even a penny.''

''Rosé–''

''Where the fuck are you? You can't miss this exam!''

''I-I'm coming, I just.. Jaehyun– fuck, he's–''

''Fuck him! Just leave him alone! A few minutes left and we're gonna start. This is a bar exam, get that shit inside your head! Get your ass here if you don't want all your efforts to go to waste.''

''Rosé..''

''Please, you don't deserve this. Think about all those nights you stayed up to study. I'm sure Jaehyun will understand..''

''I.. Okay– okay, I'm coming.''

''I love you, best friend. Jaehyun will understand, okay?''

You cradle Jaehyun's face in your hands, brushing his hair out of his face as if your own isn't a mess along with the tears running. Jaehyun looks through the hazy film of his eyes, he sobs with you.

''I'm sorry, love. I'm so so sorry– God– I'm sorry. Just this one time, please? Just this once, I need to take this exam. I'll call Eunwoo to pick you up.''

Giving one last kiss on your lover's forehead, you quickly catch a taxi and close the door on Jaehyun's face. You bury your face in your hands as you stifle your sobs. Maybe you can stop worrying. Eunwoo will pick him up, he's Jaehyun's best friend.

AND YOU WONDER..

But as you turn your head, Jaehyun with his clothes wrinkled lays on the cold ground, in his own pool of vomit. As he meets your eyes, he starts reaching out to you. For you.

You're just a lover. One that has so much love for Jeong Jaehyun.

The tires screech as you plead stop to the taxi driver, giving him the last of your money before running towards your boyfriend who's grunting and murmuring.

Your heart hurts at the worst state you've ever seen Jaehyun. The ache only gets unbearable as you take him in your arms and carry all his weight. Your heart.. it's as if being squeezed a thousand times, getting pricked with thorns.  

''Just leave him alone!'' Rosé's voice rings in your head.

''I'm sorry.. I can't.'' You whisper an apology. Not to anyone, no.

Because as you fix Jaehyun, clean Jaehyun, tuck him in bed– no one deserves an apology from you more than yourself.

IS IT ALL WORTH IT?

[lynlyndoll]

thinking of friends to lover w chan.. sorry but I have to do this..

you met him at the beach, he accidentally bumped into you

he lit started rambling w his excuses but you had a smile on your face and when he saw you weren't mad he was smth like "Wait, u aren't mad?". he was so confused😭

but you reassured him that this happens and that it isn't a big deal

he still felt bad, so he got you lunch

you asked him to stay, so you two had a lunch in the beach (pls i want that sm-)

and that's how u got to know each other

hanging out, watching movies etc

before you knew it, you both made a 2 yr old friendship

it was so easy w him. everything was just normal for you both

but things started changing, at least on your part, when it was once raining and you saw a cat freezing outside. even though he likes dogs more, he couldn't let the poor soul there, so he immediately went to get the kitten. he then returned to you and started rambling over how the little guy needs a place to stay, so he said he will take it 😭😭 you wanted to take him as well, but when u saw the look on his face, full of worry for the cat, you gave in

that was the moment u started to feel that you wanted to be more than friends. because he was the kindest person ever. because he always thought about the others in such gentle way.

things started changing for him as well, but you didn't know. he really doesn't know how and when and every other question that he had related to the moment couldn't be exactly answered. but the moment he did realize it was when you, hannah and his mom were having lunch together. he came back from gym and saw the three of you chatting so naturally. obviously, he knew that his family liked you, but the moment where he saw all three, he couldn't stop wondering if this would happen if you'd be his girlfriend.

so, you both started pining over eachother, but without the other one knowing

but, he accidentally revealed it while he thought he was writing to changbin

chan : I can't do this- i feel like im going to explode if I'm not going to tell her, man.

you : tell her what? and who are we referring to?😭

chan : bin, we just talked about it. y/n. tell her that I like her?

you : oh!

that's when he knew he fucked up.

he realized you were the one he texted, so he immediately rushed to his room, locking himself up and throwing the phone on the bed.

you rushed to his bedroom, but saw it was locked. "Chan, it's me.."

he groaned in embarrassment, so you continued. "the texts.. are true, right?"

feeling a little bit awkward to talk to you like that, he opened the door and you sighed in relief. he nods at your question, so you smile "I like you too." is what you say as you hug him

aaaand that's how it goes.. sorry, I am so annoyed that I can't write anything else (even though I want to) as a fic, so I did this😭 I'm so mad (on myself) actually bcs I'll have an exam RIGHT AFTER I GET BACK HOME, on the 6th January.. so I can't even focus on anything else bcs my parents keep bugging me about it. "have you studied?" ofc I did, folks, I'm your child ffs don't yall know me?!😭 anyway, the thing is that I'll try as much as I can to write those Christmas fics.😼