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greenglowinspooks · 7 months

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(DCxDP) Drowning in formaldehyde (Pt. 1)

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Tw: one instance of canon-typical violence (DC), vivisection mention

Will be crossposted to AO3 eventually

(Prologue) - (Pt. 2)

(Subscription post/masterlist)

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Danny has been working for Mr. Cobblepot for over a month now.

The first few weeks he was in the Penguin’s company, he couldn’t do much of anything. Instead, Mr. Cobblepot made sure that he was well-rested and beginning to recover.

Danny cried a lot in the first week that he was there.

He cried when he ate for the first time in years; the GiW had kept him on IVs and a feeding tube, so they wouldn’t have to move him from his surgical table.

He cried when he was given his own room to stay in, when he was brought clothes to wear, when he was given a bodyguard to protect him.

He cried when Mr. Cobblepot’s doctors told him that the damage to his vocal chords was likely permanent, and that he would never sound the same again. That he would find it hard to speak at any volume above a whisper.

Apparently, he had a lot more damage to him than he had thought.

The doctors said that the scarring in his brain stem suggested his entire brain had been removed and had regrown. Danny couldn’t really disprove that, and it did line up with a pretty substantial gap in his memory, but if that was the case then why couldn’t his voice recover too?

The scarring and incredibly new tissue that showed up in scans of several other parts of his body suggested that the GiW had done the same thing with most of his organs, as well as a few limbs, and all of the fingers on his right hand.

Danny could remember that. He just didn’t want to.

Perhaps it was the feeling of pity that kept Mr. Cobblepot so understanding of Danny’s slow recovery. That didn’t really matter much, though; Danny’s energy was focused on keeping his place here, ensuring that Mr. Cobblepot didn’t decide he was no longer worth the effort.

As it turned out, there was an easy enough solution to that.

Danny was the only one who knew how to properly operate and modify the weapons and inventions stolen from the GiW.

And so, Danny had a niche he could occupy. He could be useful, useful enough that Mr. Cobblepot couldn’t get rid of him, even if he wanted to.

And, as it turns out, Danny remembered quite a lot of the theories he heard while he was on the cutting board.

As soon as he had enough muscle control of his arms to do so, he was working away at the machinery created by the GiW and his parents.

No, not his parents.

Doctors Madeleine and Jack Fenton.

Regardless of their creators, he was able to understand them quite intimately.

Maybe it was because the ectoplasm flowing through the weaponry was his own, maybe it was because he had nothing to listen to for three years other than the excited chatter of his vivisectionists as they cut him open. Maybe it was because they were both simple weaponry without a purpose.

Danny found working on the machines soothing in a way that nothing else was.

The smell of oil and grease, the sounds of mechanical clanking and metal joints squealing, the feeling of cold steel beneath his fingertips.

The first thing he did to the machines was replacing the paint, from shiny white to a matte black. That way, they were recognizable as his own modified creations.

It was only a bonus that he didn’t catch his reflection in the metal surfaces this way.

Still, his reflection was starting to become more familiar to him. It was still strangely off-putting to see, but his face was beginning to plump out from consistent eating, and his skin was beginning to lose its unhealthy pale tone, going back to a more natural pinkish color.

His eyes still looked devoid of life, but that could be ignored as long as he didn’t look at himself for too long.

Danny sighed, leaning back in his chair as he wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. He was working on modifying the ectoblasters so that they could properly hit humans, as per Mr. Cobblepot’s orders.

He probably should feel some sort of moral conflict over it, but really, Danny couldn’t find it in him to care. Maybe it was some sort of deep internal flaw, or maybe it was because he knew that they wouldn’t be shot at anyone without blood on their hands. Either way, he didn’t have any qualms with what he was doing.

As Danny reconnected the circuitry within the gun, the indicator lights on the side of the muzzle blinked to life, a familiar neon green.

Danny would have to change that color too, he thought. Maybe red would be nice instead, or an icy blue?

He was pulled from his thoughts by the door to his temporary workshop opening. Danny looked up, and smiled when he saw that his bodyguard was the one standing in the doorway.

The man, known only as Derringer, was 6’2”, built like a tank, and known for his love of unusual firearms. He was also a big fan of card games, and had been teaching Danny how to play Blackjack during their meals.

He gently closed the door behind him, strolling into the workshop.

Danny hopped out of his seat, hugging the man tightly. Derringer laughed, patting Danny on the back as he clung to him like a koala.

“Good to see you too, kid,” the man said, his deep voice rumbling in his chest, “you just about done in here?”

Danny nodded, letting go of the bodyguard. He picked up the gun on the desk, handing it to Derringer, and pointed to the target resting in the far corner of the room.

Derringer glanced down at Danny, shrugging before aiming the gun.

He pulled the trigger, and a large scorch mark appeared in the center of the target.

Derringer whistled appreciatively, walking over to inspect the damage.

There was a deep dent in the center of the metal target, around an inch in diameter, and a large scorch mark surrounding it. The metal of the dent was white-hot, and the area around it was somewhat warped.

“That’s real nice, kid,” Derringer said, “don’t know how you do it.”

Danny grinned, baring his teeth at the man. He smiled back, ruffling his hair.

“The boss is gonna go forward with the Arkham raid soon, so long as your guns are ready,” he said, “he’s eager to try them out for real. You think you’re up to talking to him?”

“Yes,” Danny signed, nodding to the man.

“Good,” Derringer signed back.

Mr. Cobblepot, not wanting Danny to be limited in his speech by the damage to his vocal chords, had ensured that all of the people who interacted with him knew at least the basics of ASL.

When he wasn’t working on the ectoblasters, Danny was practicing his ASL with a dedicated tutor, or with Derringer, who learned the language when his mother had gone deaf.

“Can I eat first?” Danny signed, “I forgot to.”

“You forgot, or you didn’t want to leave your work?” Derringer asked, signing as he spoke, the corners of his eyes crinkled with amusement, “and yeah, the boss wants to talk to you in thirty minutes. You’ve got plenty of time before then.”

“Thank you,” Danny signed, “let’s go.”

“Hey, just a sec,” Derringer said. His face had dropped into something unusually serious.

Danny nodded, tilting his head as he signed a quick “what’s wrong?”

“You’re a good kid. Even after what you’ve been through, you’re…you’re a really sweet kid,” Derringer said, looking away. “But you…you can’t keep being sweet to everyone. You gotta act tough, alright?”

“Why?”

“You just…” Derringer sighed, combing a hand through his thick, curly hair, “a lot of the guys think that you’re too weak to be here. They’re calling you the Penguin’s pet project, and the problem is that they’re not really wrong. You gotta be scarier to survive, alright? Gotham’ll eat you alive if you don’t. Just make up a persona and roll with it.”

Danny nodded slowly, processing his words for a moment.

“Like a mask?”

Derringer laughed, a bittersweet smile on his face.

“Yeah, like a mask. Just don’t start fighting crime while you’re at it.”

“Okay,” Danny signed, his movements slow. “I can do that.”

“Good on you, kid,” Derringer said, ruffling his hair once more, “now let’s go get lunch.”

The two of them ate quickly, Danny’s mind on Derringer’s advice the entire time.

He was right, and Danny knew it. He’d seen the way that some of Mr. Cobblepot’s men had looked at him.

He wasn’t anywhere near big enough to pull off the looming intimidating look that Derringer did; his doctors back in Amity had told him that he would grow to be over six foot, but his time in the GiW seemed to have stunted his growth significantly. He was only around 5’6”, and it seemed that he was going to stay that way.

In the same way, he wasn’t nearly frightening looking enough to pull off the terrifying stares of the smaller individuals working under Mr. Cobblepot. He just couldn’t get the glare right; his face would always fall back to a blank, dead stare.

Though, maybe if he played into that…

A few minutes before they had to leave, Danny excused himself to go to the restroom. He stared into the mirror, looking into his cold, dead eyes, and let his face drop.

When he adjusted his stance, and kept his eyes a bit wider than usual, he looked downright unnerving.

Danny had already noticed that most of his mannerisms were…unusual, after his stay at the GiW base. Put simply, he had forgotten what it was like to be a human.

He had noticed that most of the people around him would avoid being in his presence, and had begun mirroring their body language as much as he could to seem more normal.

Maybe, though, it would be better for him not to.

He could lean into the whole thing. An unstable young adult, experimented on by the government for years.

Danny looked into the mirror, and wide, icy eyes stared back at him.

Danny left the restroom. Derringer turned to greet him, jolting when he did. After a moment, he nodded.

“That your new look?”

“Yes. Is it good?”

“Yeah. Freaky. Gonna take some getting used to, but yeah. Now,” he said, getting up from his spot at the break room table, “let’s go see the boss.”

Danny felt anxiety bubbling up in his chest, his entire body beginning to twitch. If Mr. Cobblepot didn’t approve of the weaponry, or if he thought they were underwhelming, would he be thrown out? Would he be tortured again, or killed?

Danny shivered when they came to a stop in front of the door to Mr. Cobblepot’s office. Failure wasn’t an option. He had to make sure this went well.

“You’ll do great, kid,” Derringer whispered, pushing the door open.

Mr. Cobblepot had been talking with a few other people, but their conversation died out when Danny and Derringer entered the room. Danny’s skin crawled.

“Ah, Danny! Just the person I wanted to see,” Mr. Cobblepot said, a large smile on his face, “Do you have one of your guns with you?”

“Yes,” Danny signed, nodding.

“Wonderful. I was just telling my associates here about your work. Do you mind giving a demonstration?”

“Where should I shoot? Do you have a target?”

Derringer was quick to translate. Mr. Cobblepot nodded, gesturing for a hired hand in the corner of the room to pull out a small wooden board, holding it up in the air.

Danny paled. He would definitely burn the man’s hands if he hit the target, even if he aimed for the furthest corner of the board.

Still, he was more terrified of disappointing Mr. Cobblepot than he was empathetic towards the man, so he drew a blaster from the holster on his leg and aimed carefully.

The blast hit the center of the board. The man holding it howled in pain, dropping the target and drawing his hand close to his chest. The nauseating smell of burning flesh filled the room.

Danny breathed shakily, in and out.

Mr. Cobblepot, for what it was worth, looked like he couldn’t possibly be happier. He and the others inspected the board on the ground closely, ignoring the hired hand as he ran out of the room, still cradling his damaged hand.

A large hole had been blown into the board, and a good portion of it had been incinerated.

“Look at that, ladies and gentlemen! I told you that Danny would deliver, and deliver he did! Imagine if that had been a person instead! Danny, what would you say would happen?”

Danny paused, trying to wince when he realized that the question wasn’t hypothetical, and Mr. Cobblepot actually wanted an answer.

“It would give them S-E-V-E-R-E burns,” Danny finger spelled the word that he didn’t know the proper sign for, “mostly S-U-R-F-A-C-E. It can’t P-E-I-R-C-E, because there is no bullet, just energy.”

Derringer translated for him.

Mr. Cobblepot frowned, and Danny frantically continued, “but it can be L-E-T-H-A-L! Burns on the head kill fast. Burns on the body make S-H-O-C-K, and kill. Strong I-M-P-A-C-T, too.”

“So they do still kill, just not instantly?”

“Yes,” Danny signed, “they’re fast. They hurt bad. Bad way to die, hurts a lot.”

“Well,” one of the other men in the room piped up, “I guess he’s not completely hopeless.”

“Of course he isn’t,” Mr. Cobblepot replied, fixing a terrifying glare onto the man, “it was my idea to bring him in, after all.”

“Danny,” Mr. Cobblepot said, turning his attention back to him, “we’re going to be collaborating with these fine individuals in the future. I’m going to need twenty guns ready for use in a week. You can handle that, can’t you?”

Danny nodded frantically.

“What kind?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Mr. Cobblepot said, waving his hand dismissively, “semi-automatic is preferable, but handguns and shotguns also work. Just make sure they work perfectly.”

The room was silent for a moment.

“Well, that’s all. You can leave now, and I’ll finish discussing the details with my associates.”

Danny nodded, signing him a quick “thank you, goodbye,” and slipped out of the room alongside Derringer.

They made their way back to Danny’s workshop in silence. Once they were inside, Derringer heaved a heavy sigh, running his fingers through his hair.

“You really think you can make that many guns that quickly, kid?”

“Yes,” Danny replied, “but I need your help.”

Derringer groaned, a smile on his face.

“Of course you’re putting me to work. I should’ve expected it. Now, what do you need me to do?”

“Well, first, hold this…”

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#dcxdp #dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dp x dc crossover #dc x dp fic #vengeful danny #villain danny #btw Derringer is named after a type of gun #dw he isn’t the focus forever #I just felt like Danny could use like. a single person who isn’t trying to manipulate him #also I think he would get along very well with the goons :)#aside from. yknow. the whole target thing HDJDNDND #also there IS a lore related reason that his vocal chords can’t recover but the rest of his body can #you just gotta wait to see what it is >:3 #anyways. Arkham time next chapter #Awwawaw

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immortal-lov3r · 4 months

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sophies glow up guide.. (simple)

this has been a work in progress for over 2 weeks! ive been procrastinating to get this done, so im excited to share this with you! DISCLAIMER i am not professionalised in this! i am only giving out advice on whats worked for me.

want to glow up? but dont know where to start? well here is your simple glow up guide, we will go over-

health

hygiene

skincare

attitude and mindset

this will be your basic glow up guide, simple and easy to read and follow with.

health and nutrition:

your health is one of the most important things in your life! It affects your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. that's why it's so important to be productive about your health and try to prevent illness and disease etc.

fitness:

im not going to deep within this as your fitness levels are based on personal experience and i recommend to consult a doctor before doing an extreme amount of exercise.

rather than aiming 10k steps as people ask you too, start aiming for 5k, its obtainable for a busy person or someone who doesn't walk as much, overall walking is very beneficial.

if you have ability join a sport, dance and or gym! they keep you healthy and fit and can be super fun!

try a simple workout, pilates, dance, yoga biking, running etc, there are lots of youtube videos and even apps for workouts.

if you can walk places, as i said its very beneficial for your health and keeps your in shape.

nutrition:

I'm not going to go super deep into this, as no diet fits everyone and please consult with your doctor before taking dieting or anything like that seriously.

slowing start eating healthy, you can still eat your cravings and have yummy meals just try to balance out your diet with healthy foods, good fats, carbohydrates, protein, sugar and bad fats.

eat less sugar. sugar has many reasons why its bad for you to have over your daily intake so try to eat less sugars while still eating your fav treats!

dont skip breakfast! i know people saying doing omad (one meals a day) is good for you and skipping breakfast can befit weight lose, but no, breakfast is one of the most important meals so use it for high protein and fibre meals .

eat more friut and veg, simple as that.

hygiene:

hygiene is so important because it is what keeps you clean and healthy. hygiene should be one of your top priorities for your day. hygiene effects how people think of you, what you think for yourself etc.

brush your teeth well! brushing your teeth well keeps your breathe smelling good, clean teeth.

wash your body- washing your body with soap and or body wash and sometimes even a nice body butter can keep you clean and smelling good.

look after your skin- find out your skin type and get a cleanser for your skin type. find out if silicon based or water based is better for you skin.

skincare:

skincare is such a hard thing to ace! here is a simple routine and tips for you to ace your skincare. skincare is meant to help cleanse your skin and leave your skin feeling amazing.

routines:

cleanse - take a few minutes to cleanse your skin, even a simple micellar water will get rid of will get rid of makeup and dirt.

toner - toning is a great thing to use to help refresh skin especially if it includes ingredients like witch hazel which helps tightens pores.

serum- a plain hydration serum or some hyloronic acid etc will be enough to keep your skin looking going through your day

moisturiser- this is what keeps your skin moisturised for the day or can give you breakouts so be careful you pick the right one for your skin type look out for ingredients like Vitamin E, glycerin, Pro-Vitamin B5, and borage Seed Oil, which are all great moisturisers for your skin.

attitude and mindset:

mindset:

believing that you can grow, change, and improve is the best mindset to have, if you settle once you've done something and never try to accomplish greater you will have little success in life.

goal-setting mindset.

knowing what you want and willing yourself to reach it are two different things. when you know your goals, they motivate you. set high goals and don't stop until you reach them.

focused mindset.

one of the worst setbacks that can happen is losing focus and allowing procrastination to happen. discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.

positive mindset.

choosing to be positive and having a good attitude will determine a lot about your life. be positive, not passive. instead of giving yourself reasons why you can't or shouldn't, give yourself reasons why you can and should go for it.

attitude:

positive attitude

a positive attitude is more than just smiling often and acting cheerful when others are around. it’s a way of looking at the world with optimism and hopefulness, where others would only see obstacles and dead ends.

be kind to yourself

work on self improvement

step back and focus on goals

spend time with nature

talk to other people / meet new people

act with a purpose

be around positive people

thank you for reading this far! <3 i hope you enjoyed.!

i am always open to suggestions for my posts, my dms are open <3

#girlblogging #clean girl #coquette aesthetic #green juice girl #glow up #becoming that girl #it girl mentality

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inkybinkyboink · 1 year

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@salenrooz BET YO

im a SUCKER for scent headcanons i dont even care if its weird

jimmy/saul: k so separated the two for obvious reasons. saul absolutely smells like the worst male cologne in existence. like it’s so strong to the point where it just smells like chemicals. jimmy on the other hand? idk he looks like a clean linen bastard. like it would make sense if it was like the opposite right? like i feel like he doesnt smell like anything, like he smells like fresh laundry and the nail salon he has his office in yknow?

kim: ok ok ok so. kim grew up in what im assuming to be wasn’t the super cleanest house? like pet smells, cigarette smoke, dirty dishes and takeout boxes left on the counter. and i feel like when kim grew up she wanted to become her own person and that includes the way you smell. so i feel like she smells like rose petals, the muted smell of like,,an office filled with paperwork, you know what im talking about, please you have to, and cigarette smoke, because no matter how hard she tries, a part of her will always be stuck in the past.

mike: bruh ok uh like clean laundry, but more muted??? like an old man who lives alone, and he sits in his chair all day watching movies, but he also smells like motor oil and gunpowder and soil. kaylee always thinks it’s just because he goes on hunting trips, and no one ever thinks that it could possibly be because he’s out working for a drug kingpin every day.

howard: like lavender and burts bees hand salve. please i know thats weirdly specific but i dont know what else nails the whole “living natural” more than burts bees and lavender. also slightly like chlorine. though, near the end, maybe more like restless sleep, coffee, and salt.

gus: heres the thing. it depends. i think gus has become very very good at catering himself differently depending on who he’s around. so, if he’s just “gus the los pollos restaurant owner” probably just like old spice shampoo and deodorant. simple. humble. but if he’s “gustavo fring drug kingpin visiting madrigal hq/ cartel connections” then he’s probably wearing just the right amount of cologne, like bergamot or teakwood, something citrus-y.

nacho: like motor oil and leather from working in his dad’s shop, but i feel when he’s at home or if it’s like just him it’s a lot of floral scents, mostly from the girls, but also partly his own doing. not that he uses perfume necessarily, but he’ll light a candle to get the weed smell out of the air and it’s almost always some type of flower. usually rose, or gardenia or something not too overpowering, but still nice. mostly he just smells good, but like,,,not in a comforting way, in a hot way. yknow?

lalo: it’s been like. 2 months and im not over how this bitch would smell. ive said it once and ill say it again, i have and will never meet lalo salamanca because he isn’t real, but the way he smells gives me dysphoria bc you know it’s really good and vv masculine. his grandfather used to burn palo santo because he claimed it helped with headaches. lalo never saw any merit to the claim, but he liked the smell, so when his grandfather passed away he nicked the rest of the burning wood and now his own house just kind of constantly smells like palo santo. has a tendency to use really woodsy scents when it comes to like shampoo and stuff, and he usually smells like spices or cooking oil or something. good god i love him i wanna give him a hug.

chuck: i felt bad leaving him out. chuck smells like plastic and gasoline and like,,,a library in a really weird way. im not saying its good or bad, im just saying it is. kind of probably constantly smells like somethings burning but its not. its just the wires he recklessly tore out of the wall.

bonus!

skyler white: there needed to b more women in this post ok brba and bcs are really bad for the bechdel test and it makes me mad!!! anyways, i think skyler would smell good yo! like god dude idk like she smells comforting in the same sense that your mom was comforting as a kid, and she smelled like home yknow?

lydia rodarte-quayle: the same paper scent kim has but stronger. also like herbal teas and cinnamon. and coffee. shes not one to like douse herself in perfume or whatever, but i dont think shes beyond indulging in an expensive fragrance yknow what i mean? lydia smells good but also you can tell she’s rich when she walks by you.

#better call saul #jimmy mcgill #saul goodman #kim wexler #mike ehrmantraut #howard hamlin #gustavo fring #nacho varga #lalo salamanca #chuck mcgill #skyler white #lydia rodarte quayle #better call saul headcannons

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razzdrgn · 7 months

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ok it's time for razz recipes get ready for some cooking momence

i have an eviction trial in 2 weeks so im gonna teach you how to make extremely cheap recipes with as few ingredients as possible because i have no money to spend and enough mental disorders to make me love cooking but hate the amount of work that goes into it

todays recipe is: flatbread, probably of the mediterranean variety but i dont know actual recipes i legit just made this shit up after watching the bdg zelda recipes video

all you need is:

flour

water

a pan

and thats it. Its that easy

theres more you can use to make it better tho and ill bring those up as they come up but ill do the whole cooking instructions thing under this readmore

okay so. flatbread

i think its also called like. unleavened? but i dont really know what that means and im still confused after looking it up so im just callin it flatbread because it is bread that is flat

step one is to pour some flour in a bowl. i recommend about 1 cup, but i never really measure and do it by eye/feel so you can add more or less if you want.

first optional thing to talk about briefly before the recipe really starts is salt. i highly highly highly recommend adding salt to this, because it allows the bread to actually have. yknow. flavor. and not suck. but ive made this without salt and its also good so like, do whatever u want

you can also add other spices if you want flavoring like that. ive had success with garlic powder and red pepper flakes, but honestly cookijg is most tun when ur just wingin it so throw whatever spices you like in and see how it turns out

so once all ur dry stuff is in the bowl, you should gently mix/whisk it together. i usually use a fork or knife for this since flour sticks to shit a lot and the smaller surface it has the less its gonna stick. plus with a fork it helps get things in evenly really quickly.

once everythings in and mixed is when you add your water. id say like, roughly 1/3 to 3/8ths of a cup is fine, or adjusted for how much flour you have, you really do not need much, just enough that everything comes together. if you add enough that its a bit of a shaggy but congealed mass, you can turn it out onto a work surface and knead it/fold it a little to make it thicker. i didnt like it when i did this because of texture things so i like to add just enough extra for it to be a bit of a goop.

once you got your "dough" make sure your pan is on the stove heated to uh. 3? or 4? i hate that stoves dont have proper temp markings but thats about as hot as i make mine on whatever arbitrary scale it uses.

at this point you can add in the next optional thing, which is some sort of fat. this can be an oil of your preferred variety (i am canola gang because i like to fry things while also being allergy friendly), or you can just melt some butter which is what i usually do. hell you could use like, lard or crisco if you've watched too many b dylan hollis videos. a fat is a fat. its gonna help cook the bread more evenly, will make its "crust" crispier, and make it taste better.

all you gotta do now us dump your dough onto the pan and let it cook. roughly five minutes per side but you can flip it a few times if you need, just keep an eye on it. you wanna check the edges to make sure the insides are getting properly cooked all the way through, and make sure to press down on it to make sure its making full contact with the heated surface when possible as especially thinner breads can tend to curl up a bit

while its cooking in the pan you can optionally add some shredded cheese onto the bread. i recommend doing this right before adding your dough, and right after, to make sure the cheese gets properly incorporated into each side, but you totally can also just drizzle it on at any stage and let it melt by flipping the bread onto the cheesed side. i use an italian 4 cheese mixture from my cheap local supermarket chain and thats good for the kinda savory flavor i like, but experiment! use one cheese you like, or maybe a different blend (i also really like mexican cheese blends that u use for tacos or burritos).

once the stuffs nicely cooked and browned, its good to eat. i mean its technically been ok to eat this whole time none of the ingredients are necessarily bad to eat raw but obviously you dont wanna shove fistfuls of flour into your maw.

i recommend pairing this with an iced tea of your favorite flavor persuasion as tea is a nice smooth drink you can also make super easily, some refried black beans which you can get in a can super cheap and turn into a nice dip, and some yellow mustard, which honestly goes with this way more than i thought it would by adding a bit of a sour kick which i like. obviously try pairing it with whatever you have in your kitchen, i dont know what you have. maybe you got some eggs that are about to expire and want to make some kinda breakfast bread. maybe you wanna feel that kinda childlike wonder by combining foods so you mix it with some box mac and cheese and ketchup. maybe you splatter some tomato sauce and add some kind of cheese product to make it into a shitty pizza. i have done all of these things and they are certainly all things you can do if you also want to do them

thank you for reading my extremely long recipe post join me next time where i do uhhh. something else maybe. maybe ill do that iced tea method i talked about i feel like for some folks hot tea can be a bit unapproachable and ice tea can feel like its impossible to make but i promise you its way easier than you think

ok bye!! love you

#recipe #razz recipes #cooking #cheap recipes #easy recipes #god i dont know what to tag this #i hope yall like it tho

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infiltraitor-n7 · 1 year

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I | II | III | IV | V | VI | VII | VIII | VIV | X | XI | XII

After Alchera, Kaidan starts to forget.

Kaidan is tired today. But tired isn’t quite the right word—fatigued? Exhausted? Depleted? Gutted? As his mind ticks through the possibilities, each word becomes more visceral. Gutted becomes eviscerated, eviscerated becomes vivisected. And he realizes that he isn’t simply tired, or drained or depleted, but rather he is consumed—his current state is not a simple equation of no sleep equals exhaustion, but rather no sleep plus the ever-festering absence of something that, with each day, becomes less and less defined, divided by memories of before multiplied by memories of after, the migraines that still come and kick him while he’s already down, until his life is no longer defined by what is, but rather what is missing, a negative image instead of positive contours, and he lies awake in his narrow bed and feels—devoured.

He feels and feels and it’s so heavy. He feels so much that it compresses, gains its own gravity, expands and expands, mass compounding mass, until it’s all too heavy, until he is collapsing, the clichéd black hole, and he is the negative image, the entity that people are aware of not because they see it, but because of all the objects around it that can be seen, and there he is, the void at the center, proven by inference instead of observation.

But that is just today. Just today, a bad day. It has been a year already. The bad days, like the missing thing, have faded somewhat. There are some days where he is not a black hole. No, not so much a black hole. Many days he is a brown dwarf—a quiet, failed thing, with neither the mass to combust into starlight nor to collapse into the sucking vortex. Neither planet nor star, neither living nor dead, he is simply there, floating, simply there, existing.

But those are just some days. Other days, other days he wakes up, he showers, he makes himself coffee without any whiskey at all. He has an appetite, he eats a big breakfast, he ticks through the news sites. He lifts his hand in greeting passing coworkers in the hall. He still mostly eats dinner alone, spends quiet evenings watching mindless dramas, re-runs of Blasto movies flickering in the dark as he drifts, still unable to sleep that well. As he drifts, he can imagine a day, sooner rather than later, where he will leave Arcturus and he will work again, really work, not just sitting behind a desk but doing what he had always intended to do with the Alliance: some good. When the other days outnumber the bad days.

What jettisons Kaidan from a decent day into a bad day? What is the equation that one solves for renewed devastation? The absence, it’s the absence, and the speed at which the absence simultaneously softens and sharpens. He hadn’t known Shepard for that long, after all. A small, hitched breath, there and gone before you know it, almost silent in comparison to the great cacophony of the rest of his life. What is one year stacked against thirty? The math is simple. He begins to forget. Small things. The exact texture of Shepard’s hair. A joke shared, and he can’t remember who told it. Did Shepard tell him? Or did he tell Shepard? Who laughed the hardest? The exact ratio of gun oil, coffee, sweat, and Shepard’s skin that made up the scent that used to soak Kaidan’s sheets, his hoodies, his own skin. Every detail that fades is a new loss, grief compounding grief, mines on a timer, buried in the dirt. The right steps don’t matter; he could navigate the minefield perfectly, avoiding every single trigger, but in the end he is still in the field, because it is never-ending, and the numbers are ticking down. One morning he wakes up, and he has to watch a vid to remember Shepard’s voice. A decent day gutted and skinned, stripped to reveal a very, very bad one.

Because every picture, every recording, the tangible things Kaidan must rely on to remember, to remember, lose their effectiveness over time, until it is not Shepard under his shaking fingertips as he traces over the lines of Shepard’s face in some battered photo, but rather the idea of Shepard, a Shepard construct, a collection of fading facts that fail to constitute the whole of who Shepard was, really was, as a person, and who Shepard was to Kaidan. Every memory aid is a collection of diminishing returns, red sand to an addict, each hit packing a weaker high. Kaidan, as he lies awake at night, worries about the clock running out, a day he wakes up and can’t remember much of anything at all. Just a name, some photos, the vague feeling of being carried to safety slung over strong shoulders, a hitched breath in the dark. He knows the math is simple, and the hits will just keep on coming. Because he knows that the clearest memory at the end of it all will be the one he wants the least—the one that remains while Shepard’s laugh, scowls, scent all fall away: the picture-perfect image of a body struggling in space, and the long fall into a bright planet.

Today, Kaidan is devoured. But that’s just today. Tomorrow is another day. And the day after that, the math tells him, is yet another. He will do what he has always done; he will muscle through. Through Jump Zero manslaughter, being a messed up kid with a jack in his head, lost amidst the apple trees under Canadian grey skies; through boot camp and clawing his way up through Alliance ranks with the migraines pounding behind his eyes as steady as the pounding of the SMGs; through the comms going dead on Virmire and the Council turning its back, through fists lifted in victory amidst the burning cherry blossoms of the Citadel. His mind blanks after that. In theory, the days continue after that halcyon period post-Saren, the Normandy awash in success and its crew flush in confidence that whatever the galaxy had to hurl their way, they would prevail, because they had each other, and they had Shepard.

Until they didn’t.

The days did continue. He knows this. Today he’s just tired, that’s all. Tomorrow will be another day, and then one after that, stacking and stacking, and he will muscle through each one, as he has always done, and each new missing memory will render guilt, yes, and the gaping, stomach-heaving loss, but also-yes, he must be honest with himself if with no one else: also, relief. As each memory fades, so does the pain. A kind of cosmic debt collection. He is paying his dues, one dulled recollection at a time, coins falling from a ripped pocket, unintentionally paid but good currency all the same. He will get through each day. He will pay and pay. Until finally someday, some not so special day-not a good day, nor a bad one-he too will get to rest. His friends will do as he asked, and there will be another escape pod. They will lay him gently in the small space, a softer occasion than the last time he was in one; this time, no sirens wailing or fires burning bright. This time, they will jettison him into that dark night, high over the curving horizon of Alchera, and he’ll finally get to rest, as close as he’ll get to matching grave plots, but he figures it’s enough. Finally, enough.

#shenko #mass effect #my fic #after alchera #fanfiction #it has been 80 years since i posted fic #mytext #kaidan alenko #grief is a gift that keeps on giving

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kcrossvine-art · 1 year

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Good morn/noon/evening/after-you-woke-up! Now, I want you to imagine we are in a beige and light oak dressed kitchen, theres a plastic bowl artfully place on the island you bump your toes and hips on, and in that plastic bowl is plastic fruit, and on that plastic fruit is a decades worth of dead skin dust built up. It smells like vanilla perfume from the dollar store. On the 32-inch TV screen PBS is playing episodes of the coming of age drama 'Arthur'. We're cooking 'Stones Inna Swamp' from the Redwall Cookbook- And now a word from us kids…

(You can find the original recipe at the bottom if you’d like to follow along)-

MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS

SO, “what goes in to a Stones Inna Swamp?” YOU MIGHT ASKWELL for ya soup base-

White beans

Kidney beans

Vegetable oil

Onion

Celery stalks

Garlic

Sliced mushrooms

Green bell peppers

Vegetable stock

Chopped tomatoes

Parsley

Paprika

Salt and pepper

Canned beans might work well if you dont want to soak overnight, just thoroughly rinse and dry them first. And for ya dumplin's-

Rolled oats

Breadcrumbs (preferably whole wheat)

Parsley

Margarine

Cheddar Cheese

Do be careful making these, the dish caked to the pan like ive never seen anything before.

AND, “what does Stones Inna Swamp taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASK

Its a, it feels like adult babyfood, almost?

The 'dumplings'- they taste like meatballs??

This recipe would probably taste better with Regular Meatballs but these are mice so its understandable

Theres less liquid at the end than the 'swamp' name would imply

Texture similar to a mash

Most flavor comes from the aromatic ingredients

Could deal with a bit more spice

The vegetables could also go for a nice sear or roast beforehand

Pairs well with a gelatin desert and sparkly water

The dish your white parent makes when they do something 'experimental'

. The dumplings dont have a measurement for the salt, I did what felt right and I'd say it came out to maybe ¼ cup salt? . Water measurement for dumplings is way way too little, do the tablespoons and then also half cup. . Where margarine called for, used butter

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It gives off the air of when your children complain about taco tuesdays, but they cant cook for themselves and your partner refuses to learn, so you pick something out from pinterest that says "Healthy Veggie Sunday Dinner Done in 10 Minutes!". Its not bad in the traditional sense, its bad in the sense that it brings not much good. This may partially be a neurodivergent thing but the amount of soft textures just fucks with my brain.

I feel like I'm eating joker mush. The cheese is a nice touch though!

From start time to serving time, it took about 2 hours, but that could be cut down with experience. I would highly recommend either cooking the parsley dumplings separately and then adding per serving, or serving and eating immediately, because they Will get soggy and they Will fall apart over time.

The flavor itself is very nice and savory, the more salt you add the more itd taste like meat I think! As usual, please do feel free to add more spices than listed. I could see smoked paprika, cumin, and sautéd spinach going enhancing this a fair bit. I think if I were to make this in the future i would fry the dumplings before adding them in with the soup, to give it more texture and 'body'.

I give this recipe a wham-bam-ghost-you-ma'am of 3/10 (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) And now back to our show...

🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁

Bean Soup Ingredients:

1/2 cup dried white beans

1/2 cup dried kidney beans

4 teaspoons vegetable oil

1 1/2 cups (1 large) sliced onion

2 celery stalks, chopped

1 garlic clove, crushed

1 1/2 cups (4 ounces) sliced mushrooms

2 green bell peppers, seeded and chopped

1 cup vegetable stock (or 1 cup water and 1/2 cube vegetable bouillon)

1 can (14 ounces) chopped tomatoes

1 tablespoon chopped parsley

1 teaspoon paprika

Salt and pepper, to taste

Parsley Dumpling Ingredients:

1 cup rolled oats

1/2 cup breadcrumbs (preferably whole wheat)

2 teaspoons chopped parsley

1/4 cup margarine

1/2 cup grated Cheddar cheese

Soup Method:

To make the soup, soak the dried beans in water overnight.

Drain the soaked beans and transfer them to a large pot. Add water to cover and bring to a boil. Boil the beans for 15 minutes, then reduce the heat and simmer until the beans are completely cooked, 40 to 50 minutes more. Drain.

In a large, preferably nonstick frying pan over medium heat, warm the oil. Add the onion, celery and garlic and cook, stirring, for 5 minutes. Add the mushrooms and peppers and cook, stirring occasionally, for 3 more minutes.

Add the beans, stock, tomatoes, parsley and paprika. Season with salt and pepper.

Bring to a boil, cover partially, and simmer for 20 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Dumplings Method:

To make the dumplings, stir together the oats, breadcrumbs, parsley and salt in a bowl. Add the margarine and rub it into the dry ingredients with your fingers until evenly distributed. Stir in 2 to 3 tablespoons of cold water, until the mixture just forms a dough.

Form the dough into twelve 1 '/2-inch round dumplings. Add the dumplings to the bean mixture and reduce the heat to low. Simmer, covered, turning the dumplings after 10 minutes, until they are cooked through, another 20 to 25 minutes.

Sprinkle with the grated cheese and serve.

#cross cooks redwall #recipe #foods #digital art

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tallulahowens · 11 months

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♥ your first question: what is your aspiration in life?

i. pretty hurts - beyonce // ii. southern belle- scotty mccreery // iii. all she wants to do is dance - don heneley // iv. one in a million remix - bosson // v. new class - selena gomez, drew seeley // vi. cowboy cassanova - carrie underwood // vii. church bells- carrie underwood // viii. better man - little big town // ix. i hope you dance - lee ann womack // x. woman's world - little mix // xi. beneath your beautiful - emeli sandé and labrinth // xii. sweetest sin - jessica simpson // xiii. little me - little mix xiv. kiss - prince // xv. blue jeans - jessie james decker // xvi. i feel pretty / unpretty - glee cast

[LISTEN]

"Oh, my aspiration in life would be to be happy" ♥

same deal as with E, below are my rambles xD beware

i. pretty hurts - beyonce mama said, "you're a pretty girl" what's in your head, it doesn't matter brush your hair, fix your teeth what you wear is all that matters

this song to me is all about the pressures to attain physical perfection, something tallulah has had to deal with her entire life being a pageant girl. her mother, desperate to provide for the family, always taught tallulah to use her looks and her charm to her advantage no matter what. and sometimes it wasn't enough.

ii. southern belle- scotty mccreery somewhere down south there's a swingin' screen door sundressed beauty on a hot front porch knocking one back baby, oh my Lord, have mercy

you can take the girl out of texas but you can't take the texas out of the girl. no matter where she lives or what pageants she was entered in, tallulah is a southern gal at heart. its apart of her no amount of make-up and tulle can erase. she loves to ride horses, get her hands dirty, and girl can shoot her whiskey and her pool like champ, not to mention she's also a fierce mama bear.

iii. all she wants to do is dance - don heneley never mind the heat comin' off the street, she wants to party, she wants to get down, all she wants to do is, all she wants to do is dance

this a nod to teenage tallulah. even being a pageant girl, tallulah always had a wild spirit what couldn't quite be tamed completely. she loved to go out on the town and dance her little heart out whenever she got the chance. i like to think that wildflower of girl still exists in tallulah somewhere.

iv. one in a million remix - bosson you're one in a million, you're once in a lifetime you made me discover one of the stars above us

why, yes this is in fact the song the contestants in miss congeniality dance to to open the show. so this song is dedicated to tallulah's pageant life, her miss america win, and honestly the more fun side of it all. i like to think tallulah did actually enjoy many aspects of competing like participating in the choreographed dances similar to one from the movie. she also got to show off on her horse during the talent portions, and the girl does love wearing a gorgeous gown.

v. new class - selena gomez, drew seeley you're the new classic, you're the new PYT stands for paid, young and trying everything, just to touch your dreams, you look so classic, fantastic

tallulah was never really your average beauty queen. she started out as the dime store contestant dressed in her mother’s repurposed hand-me-downs and bedazzled riding boots. it was something the judges couldn’t get enough of and i like to think in a small way she helped paved the way for girls to celebrate their differences in pageantry, hence the new classic.

vi. cowboy cassanova - carrie underwood he's the devil in disguise, a snake with blue eyes, and he only comes out at night gives you feelings that you don't wanna fight, you better run for your life

ooof this one goes out to mr. james calloway, texas oil tycoon and the man who swept the newly minted miss america right out of her cowgirl boots. i picture the first day tallulah met him going something like this song. he was posted up against the record machine in some dive bar they shouldn’t have been in. naturally, she blew him off at first, but he was persistent and those eyes. damn girl couldn't get enough of it.

vii. church bells- carrie underwood jenny was hosting Junior League parties and having dinner at the country club, everyone thought they were ken and barbie but ken was always getting way too drunk

more carrie because she is tallulah's absolute favorite singer and she literally IS a carrie underwood song. it took a lot of restraint to only narrow it down to two but ANYWAY this song was the inspiration for tallulah, and i pretty much took bits and pieces from the song to shape her character. it also comments on how things in tallulah's marriage started out picture perfect and then slowly crumbled.

viii. better man - little big town sometimes, in the middle of the night, I can feel you again but I just miss you, and I just wish you were a better man

in tallulah's eyes this one is about grief because at the end of day she really did love james, and it kills her to think that she could love someone with demons like his. even after he passed, she still catches herself wishing he was still around and is reminded of the times when things in their marriage were magic.

ix. i hope you dance - lee ann womack Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance, and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance. I hope you dance…

this song is dedicated to tallulah's daughter, miranda. they had been through a lot in the last 3 years and tallulah tries her best to raise her best she can. even though she has some trouble letting go and watching her babygirl grow up, her wish for miranda is to get out there in the world, embrace life, take chances, and of course dance.

x. woman's world - little mix every day she tells her daughter "baby, you're not just a pretty face" she says "you gotta work much harder"

sucker for some parallels, so tallulah's mother always told her that she was just a pretty face, and now that tallulah is a mom she wants miranda to know that her daughter is more than just a pretty face. and of course that she can be whoever she wants to be in this world which i also think is something tallulah is trying to work through too. and finally, tallulah also does a lot of volunteer work with junior league and mentoring pageant girls, so i imagine its a message she makes sure they know, too.

xi. beneath your beautiful - emeli sandé and labrinth you've built your wall so high that no one could climb it but I'm gonna try, would you let me see beneath your beautiful?

tallulah has been pretty closed off romantically since her husband's death and has been throwing herself into her work and her charities and her daughter. it has been three years and miranda is almost a teenager so i like to think she is ready to start dipping her toes into the dating pool again and let people see beneath her beautiful.

xii. sweetest sin - jessica simpson your fingertips on my fingertips your skin upon my skin would be the sweetest sin

the day tallulah does actually let someone, and they are intimate, this is the song that's playing in the background. that's all. it's the sweetest sin and i cry.

xiii. little me - little mix I'd tell her to speak up, tell her to shout out, talk a bit louder, be a bit prouder, tell her she's beautiful, wonderful, everything she doesn't see

if tallulah could go back in time and tell her younger self a couple things she would tell her to stand up for self more and that she is more than just her pretty face. i think these are things she still tries to remind herself.

xiv. kiss - prince you don't have to be rich to be my girl, you don't have to be cool to rule my world, ain't no particular sign I'm more compatible with, I just want your extra time and your kiss

tallulah's absolute favorite movie is pretty woman, and she loves the scene where julia roberts is singing to prince in the bathtub. catch her doing work around the house jamming out to this bop, probably scrounges up an old walkman for the occasion too because sometimes she's extra like that.

xv. blue jeans - jessie james decker i step in my blue jeans homewreck in my blue jeans, i got it from my momma so im blessed in my, I sing in my blue jeans, bling in my blue jeans when I hit the country club I get in free with my

tallulah might be a former beauty queen and love to get all dressed up in gowns and tiaras, but girl sure can rock a pair of blue jeans like no other. her collection of denim and cowgirl boots rivals no one. i like to imagine when she's feeling herself this is one of the songs she's blasting, and miranda is groaning somewhere in the background.

xvi. i feel pretty / unpretty - glee cast you can buy all the makeup that MAC can make but if you can't look inside you find out who am I, too be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty, i feel pretty, oh so pretty i feel pretty and witty and bright

one final nod to beauty to beauty standards because i like that it's a bookend with "pretty hurts." tallulah has come a long way from the pageant days, but there are still times now where she feels pretty and other times where she feels unpretty.

you are the real hero if you got through all that xoxo

#cape.event001 #playlist

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greeds · 11 months

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by popular request @fruitcube JDJSKFHKD this is what im using rn and how often i use them!

face wash: wash oil cleanser by wildcraft

this is the only oil cleanser ive tried so far and i loveeee it its super gentle but also does a rly great job at cleansing. it also removes makeup and wont clog ur pores. after massaging the oil into my face i remove it gently with a warm damp face cloth. might try the oil cleanser from old soul soap company bc i already get my face cream and shampoo and soap from there so like!!!

exfoliator: buff face and body scrub by wildcraft

i exfoliate every couple days right after washing with the oil cleanser. nothing much else to say ahdjhsjfjd

face cream: face cream by old soul soap company

until recently i was using a cream by wildcraft but i found it didnt absorb into my skin that good and left a greasy feel (it was the one for combo/oily skin!). i am soooo happy w this cream from old soap its got great ingredients and im obsessed w how it feels on my skin. its good for all skin types and is super affordable

eye cream: renew eye serum and spot treatment by wildcraft

as much as i enjoy this product idk if ill repurchase bc im trying to simplify my skincare routine due to no money and also its just a bit insane how we r expected to follow like a ten step routine daily like hello thats exhausting and also its important to give your skin a rest bestie she knows what shes doing, all you need to do is help her out a lil

notes: i have dry skin and depression so i dont wash my face every day, ill wash it every 2-3 days at most, and never in the morning. on evenings i dont wash, i press a warm damp towel to my face, pat dry, and apply face cream. personally i think its been good for my skin to give it a break while also maintaining a bit of consistency!

wildcraft is an indigenous owned skincare company, and both wildcraft and old soul soap company are dedicated to making small batch and affordable products with natural ingredients and low waste packaging. they make their products in ontario, canada. i buy old soul from shopify to offset carbon emissions

i recommend these products, but i also recommend doing a lil research into small natural skincare companies in your area that could use your support! or hell learn to make your own natural skincare....! its fun learning about different ingredients and what they can do for you!! ok bye

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bingobongobonko · 1 year

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sighs. lancer. head in hands. 5 years. 5 months. til the world is essentially gone. im like. eyes wide. blinking. turns out the big bad, we fucking made it, it's a manmade horror actually. and now its playing god. im like. dude? im bad at articulation but. dude? and jeurgen fucking knew the whole time. like bro youre an asshjole. (i love u...) GENUINELY THE MOST SHIFT IVE SEEN OF ALL TIME. JEURGEN USED TO BE A SWEETHEART BUT HE REALIZED HE'S A XENOGLASS MONK. SO HES LIKE. BUUGJHH!?!?!?! HES SO FUCKED UP. HES SO FUCKED UP. GRITS MY TEETH. HE'S LIKE SUCH AN ASSHOLE NOW AND I REALLY THINK ITS COOL. OKAY SO im. LIKE. GUH? GUH????? HE KNOWS EVERYTHING. HE KNOWS TOO MUCH! OK SO JUST. GUH. so much to process but basically, the oracle??? WE made that. we made it in the past, it was essentially some weird hivemind consisting of nanites that could be used to fight wars without the actual people. and now its god. maybe? it claims to be god. im like. dude? we beat its apostle to death, funnily enough the revived corpse of the apostle that was killed in act 1. im fucking unwell. but it said to us like. We'll meet again. and frankly I HOPE THE FUCK NOT!!!!!!!!!!!! YOURE SCARY!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU NEARLY KILLED JEURGEN!!!!!!!!!!!! and technically its cronies almost killed yves so that was Ough. but yeah no mech. in actuality yves(?) was kind of paralyzed half the time in telly's mech, i say ? cuz that wasnt. really yves. hard to explain but no that wasnt yves really. still though. once the battle was over, full success, we just stood there as we received all of this info right. and telly's like full of screaming thru the comms, and yves(?) is like. hey god is fucking punishing us actually. this is god's punishment. and tellys like. no its fucking not shut up. also i know about your boyfriend. elias. and THE yves, THE current yves, goes fucking ballistic, all the rage and terror from before comes back at once and he fucking goes ballistic and tackles telly and fucking BEATS his shit in. just starts fucking punching him over and over again til people have to physically rip him off and fucking screams at telly to like. leave elias out of this. all of this while baron oze is just receiving the news from jeurgen - 5 years for bo. FIVE months for keedan. and its so fucked up to me. jeurgen knew. jeurgen knew for a very long time. he just didnt know that til recently. and thats so fucked. he knew all of this was going to happen. this WHOLE fucking time... but he did not remember..... how fucked is that. like actually. so im just like. man Okay. okay. this is fucked.

so yeah after that reveal, we just drag ourselves back to the hangar. we're fucked. got ferrofluids everywhere, telly's punched to fuck all, oils and shit, we just look like shit. and then we realize theres a man with darwil, guy just fucking LOSING his shit, pacing back and forth, just rambling his head off, and it isnt til he looks our way that yves realizes immediately it's elias, and elias makes a fucking beeline right for yves and actually. dude? fuck? oh. they just fucking grapple onto each other and they hug it out right there and yves is just whispering im sorry the whole time. he has never truly apologized for anything. he actually means it. im like. fuck. yk. dude? at that very moment everything else gets drowned out, cuz it just doesnt fucking matter to him. elias is right there, tears in his eyes, looking at him. just straight up starin at him. nothing fucking matters actually. just this right now. im like. picture of white guy with the red shirt grabbing his head and crying. Okay. youre telling me. pointing at yves. the guy who has only ever cared about himself and his own gains. actually feels something real for someone else, the first time in YEARS. okay. dude i doint even care. dude. whatever. actually. okay. whatever. yves would fucking KILL for this guy and im not joking. he already assaulted telly for even insinuating a talk with elias. like straight up. also telly still came up and was like. hey we need to talk. to elias and fucking yves gave him the most murderous stare............. bites my tongue. Yeah we had bit of a lancer moment today.

#fool's monologue

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grasslandgirl · 2 years

Note

ANON HAS ME IN A MOOD! 2 FOR LAURENTMAKOTO

i love you so dearly i am blowing kisses to u

presumablyh this is in reference to this fic asks list i reblogged earlier?

2: What scene did you first put down?

this is actually an easy answer! i have two emails i sent myself late at night back in june when i first started conceptualizing keiko fic right before your birthday with the early drafts of the first scene from the fic and the scene from the end where laurent and makoto are at the restaurant!! mostly i wrote chronologically, but i remember having a really clear idea for the restaurant scene right before i went to bed and wanting to get it down- hence the emails to myself the night before i started writing the fic itself!! <3

ill put the screenshots and id's below the cut but ty for sending in the ask <3 its fun that keiko fic has a more clear and demonstrable answer than most other fics ive written, for which the answer would probably just be "uhh probably the first scene. i had an idea and i started writing." skfjnskfjbs

[ID: two screenshots of text on a white background. the first reads:

Makoto didn’t imagine being a father.

Well, technically that wasn’t true. Makoto Edamura’s stopped dreaming about being a dad- about having a family- when his father went to jail. When he was a kid, his mom always said he was just like his father. Makoto remembered standing in the living room, dinner burning on the stove, as he and his mother watched the television in baffled horror. The truth of his father’s actions falling into a pile at their feet as the grainy footage showed him being escorted into a police car over and over again. How could he ever dare to dream of having a family, after knowing how many families his father had broken apart- including their own.

besides, all the garbage trauma tied up in his dad aside, Makoto was an aspiring former con man- he didn’t lead a life or have friends that suited children.

So even if he could never stifle a smile when he passed a park full of running, screaming children; or if he sometimes dreamed of clipping a little cat clip into a little girl’s hair; or if the one time he saw Laurent flirting with a young mother, sweeping her babbling infant out of her arms and pressing a brief kiss to its head with a luminous smile- it didn’t matter. None of it did.

Because it was less that Makoto didn’t imagine being a father, and more that he couldn’t afford to imagine it.

the second screenshot reads:

“Wait.” Makoto puts his fork down. Then he puts both his hands on the table, leans forward and skewers Laurent with a glare as forceful as he can manage while not knocking over the ridiculous wine he bought for the table. “Is this a date?”

Laurent’s smile is studied and careful. But Makoto can read him well enough to see the twitch of his eye and the tremble in his fingers as he flexes them once, twice, atop his napkin. Makoto knows him well enough to recognize the rare signs of nervousness on Laurent.

“Darling,” he answers with an oil slick grin. (The pet name makes something hot seize up in Makoto’s stomach that has nothing to do with dinner or the wine.) “We’re raising a child together. We’ve been living together across the globe for years. I bought you the most expensive wine on the menu-“

“I didn’t ask you to do that,” Makoto grouses, interrupting him, because he refuses to make anything easy for Laurent- even this. If that’s what this even is.

Laurent’s smile grows, and he inclines his head in indulgent acquiescence. “Makoto.” Makoto’s eye twitches, an involuntary tick in response to Laurent using his given name, instead of one of his stupid nicknames and pet names. He can’t decide which he prefers. “Would you like a ring? Would that help you feel more secure?” Laurent’s tone is light, with the same manicured artifice he brings to every con. It’s so pristine that it’s hard to see the man beneath the confidence; but Makoto can.

Makoto does.

Beneath the teasing and the flirting is a genuine question. A genuine offer- to buy Makoto a ring. And abruptly he’s stuck with the scale of it all: their life together. That behind every word, under every smile, between every gesture and con and secret and stupid fucking nickname has been this: Laurent asking for Makoto to stay. Asking for them to have a life together. Proving that this- Makoto- is something he wants.

But because Laurent is Laurent, he can never say anything straight out. He has to make it into a puzzle for Makoto to solve. (Thankfully, Makoto is very good at solving Laurent’s puzzles.)

And because Makoto is Makoto, he can’t let Laurent get away with anything that easily.

Makoto leans back, lets an easy shark’s smile spread across his face. “Yeah,” he says, in answer to Laurent’s question. “It would.”

Under the table, the tip of Laurent’s shiny expensive-ass shoe drags up the line of Makoto’s ankle. He does his best not to squirm under the abrupt heat of Laurent’s smile. God. Fuck. He’s made a terrible decision. End ID.]

#asks #xoxoxoxo lyyy caseyyy #keiko fic was equally very fun and VERY difficult to write bc i could not Bother You about it while i worked #as is my very consistent habit with most other fics i write skjfvnskfnb #(save recently bc of my fg and slasher brainrot sfkjbnsfk and i dont wanna bother you with those)

3 notes · View notes

onmymasa22 · 5 months

Text

I am ok. I really am. I give someone my full attention. I just try to be respectful. And i want to make someone feel like they are the only ones in the world. And i felt weird after because when we talked about u, u were interested. But when i wanted to share, u were writing emails on a computer or phone or something. I can tell. So i feel like i didnt really get any satisfaction. It felt really empty like talking to someone who wasn't interested at all. I try to make everyone happy. I'm such a people pleaser. But what do i want? I talk to you when i want to talk to you. I spend so much time this year and i dont like it wjen wjen people get attached. Ive had lots of people get attached. Lots of people call me family. Lots of people gave me keys. I cant do it anymore. Its so hsard for me mentally to balance that. Maybe i have abandonment issues, so ill never let u get close. I have abandonment issues. I have lots of trouble letting people in.

What do i think about ai as an artist:

Theres ai which will take your instructions and spit out a picture. Then theres photoshop which can take any picture and make it seem painted using watercolor, palette knife, acrylic looking.

I want to do candles because that means something to me.

Song rak tachzor rotem cohen

אמא מדליקה כל יום נירות ומברכת

Oil pastel of 2 candles plus a little one

I dont have a problem with ai, and people who seek it out, but what doesnt make sense in my head is charging 300 for a print of something ai and a different program did. Is it art, maybe. Is it art worth 300 dollars? No. Not to me at least. In my opinion that's obsurd. Its paying 300 dollars for a target tshirt that should cost 25.

I want a courthouse wedding. A nice sized ring. A suit jacket and dress ill wear again. A vintage vail and white gloves. I want to give out a beautiful havdalah card to everyone with a wedding announcement.

#youreok

Compassion notes for all those who need:

It's ok to want to run away from here.

It's ok to cry all the time. Yes, also infront of the children.

It's ok to fall apart and not succeed in doing anything the whole day.

You are doing the best you can right now.

It's ok to repress and to be strong, even if its pretend, for your own reasons.

It will not be like this forever, even though it feels like it.

It's ok to be angry about the situation. About reality. About everything.

It's ok to be scared all the time.

It's ok if you cant see the horizon. It's far. But it is there

I want to be that mom who bakes. Who always has something yummy in the oven. Who greets my kids with popsicles in the summer. I want to braid my girls hair. I want to buy my boys xboxes. I want cool kids who are friendly and funny. I want to take them to the beach. I want them to see what being inlove looks like. Where i want them super close to me.

I want the degree. I can get the degree without doing the license. I can do the license when i want and then im fine. But i want to be ok. So next year, ill get an apartment, and work somewhere, and that'll b my life.

Class video 2hrs 15min

Portfolio 2hrs 15min

Sculpting 2hrs 15min

Aniam 1hr 30min

Preformance 2hrs 30min

Yael 2hrs 30min

5 דק בואו לכיתה וקצת הקדמה ללימודים לשיעור, זום, לימודים בעיקבות המלחמה

30 דק המורה העבירה מצגת- על אמנות עכשווית בעיקבות המלחמה עכשיו להשראה, ומסימה של להתחיל פרוייקט בנושא המלחמה, ודברים לחשוב עליהם בבחירה ולעשות סקיצה

10 דק עבודה פרטנית- עבדתי עם נערה על פתיחת רעיון. היא לא ידעה מה היא רוצה

סיפרתי אותה מי אני, מאיפה אני

אם היה לה רעיון מהמצגת- לא

קצת על מי עכשיו בצבא במשפחה, ושמשפחה כרגע אצלה

במה היא אוהבת לעבוד

עט ונייר

חזרנו המורות לסיכום, משוב, וביקורת

ביקורת- הייתי מוסיפה כותרות למצגת שלה, כי בלי זה מרגיש כמו טורנדו של יצירות. להוסיף מילה כ"מדיה" להפוך את זה ליותר בסיסי או מינמליסטי היה עוזר. כל המילים לא עוזרים. כי קשה להבין או לזכור מידע יחודית ספיציפי ומתומתמת. צריך משו לעשות את הזרם. בלי זה יותר מדי מילים, ואם אין זרם, ומה שעוזר ליצור את הזרם, קשה להבין מה קורה. זה דורש סדר, כי זה רועש בלי.

From the chidah and other kabbalah sources:

Rabbi wallerstein

Avrahams parents terach and amsilai slept together when amsilai was a nida. During avrahams life, he davened that theyd be in gan eden with him after he would pass away, he didnt want to be there without his parents. Dinah was a gilgul of amsilai (dinah, nidah). Leah gave up a tribe and davened for her child to be a girl wayyy after the genders were assigned. Becsuse of the super pate in the game switch, dinah had a lot of male habits (going out) and yosef had female habits (brushing his hair, looking in the mirror). Dinah was never harmed by shchem. Everyone in her family of that, the whole being abducted by shchem wasnt as it seems, everyone on the inside was aware that this was supposed to happen and that she wasnt harmed. It makes it seem like she was for specific reasons which commentators discuss. This was supposed to happen because guess what... she got pregnant and had osnat. Some say that dinah married shimon, but most say that dinah married iyov- the gilgul of terach. That they lived together in holiness and marited gan eden which avraham so wanted. Now this child, osnat, got adopted by potifar and his wife because he was very gay and she wouldnt become pregnant. Osnat had no idea what her story was, but potifar and his wife never took away a necklace yaakov gave her before that said on it "bas yisrael" in hebrew. What yosef was in mitzrayim, the single girls would throw things at him, and he was supposed to pick one and marry the girl who throw it. Well osmat threw that necklace. When yosef met osnat, he was able to tell her her whole history because he was sold after she happened. He knew hebrew, and needed a jew to marry and out of everyone in egypt in the same house as him is a girl who is 100 percent jewish and he married her and from her and him we get efraim and menashe. Leah thought she was giving away one shevet and she got two, together with rachel. This baby was the only one in all of egypt who was jewish and yosef could marry. If the story wouldve stopped after the rape, man, it cant be worse. But thats a page, and the story continues and continues and coninues and from there we will get mashiach ben yosef. From what happened with dinah. And we bench every boy that they should like ephraim and menashe. Thats so weird! Why them? Decendents of dinah and shchem- shchem was the lowest of the low. Because the bracha is- you should see so clearly the goodness that comes after bad. It should be so clear that from giving away one, youll get two, that theres a reason for everything, that a bad chapter is not a bad book, just keep going because itll get good. We remind ourselves of them to remind ourselves to move on from bad and just keep swimming.

Go to budapest hungary

Theres a war

The house is a mess

All my stuff is gone

Im exhausted

I dont know when im going back to israel

I should be married by now

I should have to kids by now

The dog keeps barking

No one is listening to me

And it just keeps going

Tomorrow's the same story

I cant do any of this anymore

Im shaming and crying

I want to be numb

Please make me numb

I cant do this anymore

0 notes

pesterloglog · 5 months

Text

Jane Crocker, Jake English, Roxy Lalonde, Fefetasprite

Act 6, page 5521-5540

golgothasTerror [GT] began pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]

GT: Greetings!

GG: Oh. Hello, Jake.

GT: Im not interrupting anything am i?

GG: Um, not really? Roxy and I are just setting a few things up here.

GT: Ah i see. I would be happy to message you again later if it would spare you any inconvenience.

GG: No, it's fine! It's really nice to hear from you, actually.

GG: I was starting to worry you might have forgotten.

GT: Uh.

GT: Forgotten?

GG: Oh no...

GT: Forgotten what now?

GG: Never mind.

GT: Wait dont tell me.

GT: Is it a tomb or a crypt or somesuch? Are you preparing for another grist seeking expedition??

GT: Oh shit did you schedule my assistance for the raid and i forgot all about it???

GG: No, Jake.

GG: We didn't need your help raiding a tomb. But thanks for thinking of us.

GG: I don't know what this clueless pair of damsels would do without you.

GT: Blast.

GT: Well what in the name of willy howard tafts great tub choking bottom could i be forgetting then?

GT: This is going to drive me CRAZY! Can you give me a hint?

GG: Yes. It has to do with the day I was born, which was almost exactly sixteen years ago.

GT: Of course! Your birthday!!!

GG: Didn't you get Roxy's invitation?

GG: It was my understanding that she gave you and Dirk notice weeks ago.

GT: Yes thats right. Now i remember. The date sure snuck up on us quick didnt it?

GT: Sorry you know how things can slip my mind. The gourd on my shoulders isnt the steel trap it used to be. Nothing like the well oiled puzzlebuster you've got up there.

GG: Mm.

GT: Well damn.

GT: Looks like the egg monster took quite the spirited dump on my face this time.

GG: Jake. I... what?

GT: I feel so dumb. Ill be right over.

GG: Well, if you recall, the party is actually tomorrow.

GG: Like I said, we're just setting a few things up.

GG: Roxy is putting up some decorations. I baked a cake. You were of course free to join us early too. I just thought since I hadn't heard from you in quite some time, you had better things to do.

GT: You baked a cake for your own party?

GG: Yes. So?

GT: I dont know something seems amiss about that. Isnt that against tradition or inviting bad luck or something?

GT: But I guess it makes sense since you love baking cakes. Its like a present you give to yourself!

GG: Jake, what was it you actually wanted?

GT: Oh. I just wanted to get your advice on some stuff.

GT: But since ive been a heel and forgotten about your party maybe i shouldnt bother you with that?

GG: Mmm.

GT: So sixteen big ones huh! The ole sweet sixteen.

GT: Last one of us to notch the vaunted one sixer. Its a big step! I knew youd make it, i always said i believed in you didnt i?

GT: Just kidding, the inexorable nature of times passage virtually assured you would get that old so you didnt really have anything to do with it. I mean not that i dont still believe in you, i do.

GG: ...

GT: I cant believe its already been...

GT: How long?

GT: What, like a year already since we entered? Holy moly, where does the time go.

GG: It's been more like five months.

GT: Oh.

GT: Well thats still a pretty long time.

GT: I have to admit its been a longer stint than i expected. Certainly one involving more downtime than i would have guessed.

GT: I really thought we would have been treated to more action, what being legendary players of a mysterious cosmic game. But no, it seems the primary duty of the so called nobles is to wait around twiddling our thumbs.

GG: Mmhmm.

GT: I am really beginning to wonder when these fabled heroes will arrive? And are they really going to be those we have been led to believe?

GT: I sure hope so. Id so love to meet my pen pal. Dear old departed grandma. But as a feisty youngster! What a hoot thatll be. And you with your poppop. Lets not forget about him.

GT: Not to mention the young strider and lalonde relatives. I bet theyre a barrel of laughs. I met them once but i was too shy to say anything. Then i got in a fight. Did i ever mention that jane?

GG: Yes.

GG: Many times.

GT: Not to say its been all downtime and doldrums. Exploring has been great. Finding treasure, solving riddles, becoming better friends. I wouldnt trade that for anything.

GT: And maybe we are getting close to something big happening regardless? Every day it seems like more and more undead creatures crawl from out of the shadows. Bigger ones and stronger ones. Does their presence herald something worse coming, just as the legends indicate our presence heralds something better?

GT: I just wish we could actually kill the fucking things. Even the little ones can absorb so much damage before yielding any spoils!

GT: Remember jane? Remember at the start how we kept trying to kill them?

GG: Mmhmm.

GT: We would all gang up on like an imp skeleton for an hour just clobbering it repeatedly. Knocking its bones down, waiting for it to reassemble and keep coming at us. Only to finally be rewarded with a shitty pittance of grist!

GT: But i guess the silver lining was it forced us to explore ruins more often and scavenge for loot there. So i think weve learned a lot more this way.

GT: But it sure makes resources hard to come by, having to get them exclusively from chests and whatnot. Sometimes i wonder if weve been missing out on a really rewarding part of the game by neglecting to build up our houses? Makes you wonder. But it just costs so much! Better to stick to making more practical stuff dont you think?

GG: Mm.

GT: Sometimes i wonder if the heroes had the same problems in their game. Do you think they found an easier way to kill skeletons?

GT: Were they just as shameless as us when it came to splurging our precious grist on swanky new duds?

GT: Did the same enigmatic bard haunt their game? And if so which hilarious dead trolls did he throw into the flashy blobs?

GT: Mr erisol tells me he knows many things about the heroes because he saw them in action when he was alive. But he wont tell me a thing about them! These troll sprites sure do love keeping their secrets dont they? Heheh.

GG: That's nice, Jake. I'm kind of busy though.

GG: What did you actually want to talk to me about?

GG: Actually, why don't we just talk about it tomor-

GT: Okay we can talk about that if you insist.

GT: Really jane you sure know how to twist a fellas arm!

GT: I just wanted to get your take on what you might call my own personal ultimate riddle.

GT: It involves dirk.

GG: You don't say.

GT: Its true. I havent seen him in a couple days.

GT: I have been laying low for a while but i just received another series of pushy inquiries from him.

GT: Maybe i shouldnt be too hard on the guy since he was probably just concerned, not having heard from me and all.

GT: But i still couldnt help but detect a tone of desperation, like he could sense i may be having doubts.

GT: This kind of thing has been all too common unfortunately.

GT: Im not sure its going to work anymore.

GG: Mm.

GT: He can be so needy!

GT: If only he could just relax and trust that i wont spontaneously tire of his company.

GT: Although the irony i guess is that his overbearing tendencies are beginning to fulfill his own paranoid prophecy.

GT: Its such a shame. Weve had so many capital adventures together.

GT: I dont know why he has to be like this. He always was an intense fella. But in person... holy cow.

GT: I wonder if it has to do with the fact that he grew up alone in the middle of the ocean? And now he doesnt know how to deal with people without suffocating them?

GT: But then again i grew up under similar circumstances and i think i turned out pretty much ok socially, at least i hope so. Do you think so jane?

GG: Mmmm!

GT: Actually it just occurred to me. Its funny he didnt mention your party in his text.

GT: Im SURE he wouldnt have forgotten. He never forgets ANYTHING what with all his calculations and his computerized brain. Both figurative and literal.

GT: I wonder what his game was? He invited me on an expedition without mention of your party as a potential conflict...

GT: If he sensed i could use some space perhaps he was concerned that if we both showed up to the party it would be awkward?

GT: Or maybe he didnt want to mention he was going to the party in case it would spook me away from attending?

GT: Argh! Do you see jane?? This is what his endless machinations do to you!

GT: Anything he says could be part of some grand convoluted scheme and it just makes you agonize and boggle and wonder until your brain hurts and you just KNOW its a battle you cant win.

GT: You know what i mean jane?

GG: Mmhmm.

GT: Do you think i should just bite the bullet and end it?

GT: Its probably the right thing to do.

GT: Boy am i not looking forward to that conversation though.

GT: Its going to be a doozy. What did i get myself into here?

GT: I think ive made a lot of mistakes honestly.

GT: Not the least of which was getting this shitty tattoo, now that i think about it.

GT: Yes yes i know we all thought it was a riot at first.

GT: I guess it still is maybe? But lately ive been wondering if it might not have been an act of sound judgment.

GT: Can you believe that jane?

GG: Hmm!

GT: I dont know. Its a real pickle im in here but i do feel better just being able to get it off my chest.

GT: You are such a good friend jane, always ready to listen to my relationship woes. What a trooper!

GT: It never ceases to amaze me how excellent you are at this friendship business. Where would we all be without you?

GT: In a way you really have been the glue holding us all together on our adventure. Gosh youre a standup gal.

GT: Oh which actually reminds me of ANOTHER thing thats been bugging me about dirk.

GT: He can often be almost hilariously self absorbed. Dont even get me started on when he starts going off on these long monologues about his philosophical gobbledygook.

GT: I'm not sure he actually has much of a filter when it comes to what others regard as interesting points of conversation.

GT: Not to rag on the guy too hard but i guess at times i would just like to see a little more self awareness from him is all.

GG: Jake.

GT: Did i tell you what happened on our last expedition together?

GG: Jake.

GT: I cant remember if i mentioned. Oh man but thinking back on what happened its even more ridiculous in retrospect.

GT: Where do i begin?

GG: Jake!!!

GT: What?

GG: Shut up!

GT: Huh?

GG: Shut up!!!

GT: Errr.

GT: Did i say something wrong?

GG: JAKE.

GG: PLEASE.

GG: STOP TALKING.

GT: I dont...

GG: JAKE.

GG: I SAID SHUT UP.

GT: Wha...

GG: JUST,

GG: SHUT,

GG: THE FUCK,

GG: UUUUUUUUUUP!!!

GT: Ay caramba.

GT: What in tarnation is the matter jane?

GG: WHAT'S THE MATTER?

GG: WHAT'S THE MATTER???

GG: I AM SICK.

GG: AND FUCKING TIRED.

GG: TO DEATH.

GG: OF YOUR INSUFFERABLE BLITHERING BULLSHIT!!!!!!

GT: Whoa there.

GT: You seem really worked up. Maybe we should just calm down and talk this through like sensible adults?

GT: Also youre going kinda heavy on the caps there arent you? Sort of makes it seem like your shouting. Just saying.

GG: I AM SHOUTING!

GG: THERE ARE LITERAL SHOUTS OF ANGER COMING OUT OF MY ACTUAL MOUTH, AND THEY ARE DIRECTED AT YOU!

GT: Yikes.

GT: Well ok then.

GT: Can you tell me why youre so upset with me?

GT: Is it because i forgot your birthday party? Because i do feel awful about that.

GG: OH MY GOD. WHY ARE YOU SO CLUELESS?

GG: I CAN'T STAND IT!

GT: Really i feel like a tool about forgetting. You know how i am. I forget stuff.

GT: I mean...

GT: Shucks buster. If i knew how to make it up to you i would.

GT: If it ameliorates matters any i am sighing pretty much the shucksiest buster of contrition i can manage.

GG: IT'S NOT ABOUT MY BIRTHDAY!!!

GG: THE FACT THAT YOU FORGOT CERTAINLY DOESN'T HELP, BUT THAT'S NOT IT. SEE, YOU JUST DON'T GET IT!

GG: OH, AND COULD YOU PLEASE STOP SAYING SHUCKS BUSTER?!

GG: SHUCKS BUSTER WAS MY THING! AND YOU STOLE IT!

GT: I thought shucks buster was...

GT: Sorta our thing?

GG: NO, IT WAS MY THING, BUT I ALLOWED IT TO BE OUR THING! BACK WHEN YOU USED TO GIVE A SHIT! BUT NOW IT'S JUST MINE, AND YOU CAN'T HAVE IT ANYMORE!

GT: Uhh.

GT: Ok?

GT: I suppose i could go with shoot buddy. Or...

GT: Fudge junior?

GG: .................

GT: Or maybe forgo an analogous catch phrase altogether heh.

GT: But i clearly stepped in it big time with you and id really like to know what i did.

GG: JAKE, LET ME ASK YOU.

GG: DO YOU EVEN REMEMBER THE LAST TIME WE TALKED?

GT: Hmm.

GT: Wasnt it a few days ago?

GG: NO. TRY A FEW WEEKS AGO!

GG: AND EVEN THEN, YOU MESSAGED ME JUST TO TALK ABOUT SOME STUPID SHIT THAT HAPPENED WITH DIRK.

GG: A TEDIOUS GESTURE WHICH YOU THEN SAW FIT TO REPRISE ON MY BIRTHDAY OF ALL DAYS, WHILST CONSIDERATELY FORGETTING ABOUT IT!

GG: AND EVEN WHEN I REMINDED YOU ABOUT IT, YOU STILL BARGED AHEAD WITH YOUR SELF-INDULGENT RELATIONSHIP CLAPTRAP ANYWAY!

GT: I didnt realize it was so long ago. Sorry about that.

GT: Again all i can say is where does the time go? I guess i have trouble keeping up with everything im supposed to. Which it would seem includes personal relationships as much as calendars.

GT: Im not much of a leader of people. Not like you are jane. I think when it comes to adventuring maybe im more of a solo act?

GT: Which now that i think about it might be contributing to my problems with dirk. Maybe thats part of the reason why i needed some space?

GT: Oh brother there i go again blustering about my problems. I guess i see what you mean.

GT: But really if you wanted to talk sooner then why didnt you get in touch with me?

GT: It feels as though im always the one to say hello to you lately.

GG: YEAH! THAT'S BECAUSE EVERY SINGLE TIME WE CHAT, YOU DO NOTHING BUT TALK ABOUT YOURSELF!

GG: YOU NEVER ASK ME HOW I'M FEELING OR WHAT I'VE BEEN UP TO. YOU JUST LAUNCH INTO YOUR ROMANTIC PROBLEMS, AND I JUST LISTEN LIKE AN ACCOMMODATING FOOL AS ALWAYS!

GG: SO I JUST STOPPED BOTHERING! WHY SHOULD I SUBJECT MYSELF TO THAT REPEATEDLY?!

GG: YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY BE THE MOST THOUGHTLESS, SELF-CENTERED PERSON I HAVE EVER MET!

GG: I CAN'T BELIEVE I USED TO FEEL...

GT: Huh?

GT: Used to feel what?

GG: JAKE, HAS IT EVER OCCURRED TO YOU HOW IT MUST FEEL FOR SOMEONE TO LISTEN TO HER FRIEND GO ON AND ON ABOUT HIS BOYFRIEND PROBLEMS WHEN...

GG: WHEN ALL ALONG SHE...

GG: BUT SHE JUST COULDN'T SAY BECAUSE SHE BLEW IT AND IT WAS TOO LATE TO...

GG: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I'M BOTHERING TO EXPLAIN THIS TO YOU. NEVER MIND.

GT: Now hold the phone.

GT: Jane i think i may finally understand whats been going on here.

GT: In retrospect i cant believe ive been this blind.

GT: Youre right i really can be deplorably thick sometimes.

GT: Looking back i can see how many of our conversations must have been torment for you.

GT: You really should have told me how you felt sooner!

GG: YEAH. I...

GG: I know. :(

GT: If you told me you had the hots for dirk i would have backed off without another word.

GT: What are friends for!

GG: RAAARARRAAUUUAAAAUUAGHGHGGHGGGGHHGH!

GT: Wait...

GT: Did i say something dumb again?

GT: Consarn it.

GT: I think maybe something is getting lost in translation over our respective chat clients.

GT: Maybe we should wait until tomorrow and just clear the air face to face at your party?

GG: NO!

GG: YOU AREN'T COMING TO MY PARTY!

GT: Aw come on jane. Be a sport.

GG: YOU AREN'T COMING TO MY PARTY, BECAUSE THERE ISN'T GOING TO BE A PARTY!

GG: GO RAID SOME TOMBS WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND. GO MAKE OUT WITH HIM OR BREAK UP WITH HIM, OR WHATEVER IT IS YOUR FICKLE, SELFISH HEART DESIRES!

GG: I AM AT THE END OF MY ROPE WITH YOU!

GG: I AM FED UP WITH YOUR STUPID MOVIES AND YOUR STUPID ADVENTURES AND YOUR STUPID OLD TIMEY CHARMS AND YOU STUUUUUUPID DASHING GOOD LOOKS. WHO NEEDS ANY OF IT?????

GT: I say jane. Before you do anything rash...

GG: OH, WILL YOU PLEASE,

GG: JUST,

GG: STFU BUSTER!!!!!!!!!

ROXY: jane

ROXY: yo uh

ROXY: janey

ROXY: u ok there

JANE: I WILL BE PEACHY FUCKING KEEN ONCE I STOMP THIS NOVELTY MUSTACHE HEADSET INTO OBLIVION, AND NOT A MOMENT SOONER!

ROXY: janey uh

ROXY: that aint a reasonable thing you said

JANE: AU CONTRAIRE.

JANE: I BELIEVE YOU WILL FIND THAT ONCE THIS PIECE OF SHIT HAS BEEN REDUCED TO SUBATOMIC PARTICLES, WE WILL ALL COME OUT SMELLING LIKE FUCKING ROSES.

ROXY: jaaaaane

ROXY: stoppit :(

ROXY: ur upsettin fefeta

ROXY: just

ROXY: think of fefeta is all im asking

ROXY: poor fefeta :'(

FEFETASPRITE: 3833 < 383

JANE: OH POOR FEFETA MY SWEET PATOOTIE!

JANE: YOU AND I BOTH KNOW FEFETA HAS HAD TO DEAL WITH GARBAGE FROM JERKOFF BOYS BEFORE.

JANE: SO DON'T GIVE ME THIS POOR FEFETA CRAP.

ROXY: lol yeah

ROXY: my girl fefeta knows whats up

ROXY: she been around the d bag block a time or 2

ROXY: em i rite fefeta

FEFETASPRITE: 3833 < 3;3

ROXY: shit yes gimme a paw bump

ROXY: BOMP

ROXY: jane u want in on this action

ROXY: come give us a fist fulla sugar

ROXY: complete the 3way for max girl power + solidarity against dumb dudes

ROXY: janey jeez dont leave us hanging here

JANE: SIGH.

JANE: FINE.

ROXY: jane that was the piss poorest paw bump ive ever seen

ROXY: that was like a negative bump

ROXY: we are going to have to bump long and hard into the night to dig us outta this fuckin bump hole you dug us into

ROXY: w/ that tragic bump

ROXY: that bump was like

ROXY: shakespearean

ROXY: makes me want to weep softly and leave a bouquet somewhere

ROXY: someone plays a sad trumpet in the distance

ROXY: look fefeta just sniffled a little at how sad that bump w-

JANE: SHHHHHHHH!

ROXY: ok god

ROXY: was just tryin to cheer you up

ROXY: take ur mind off whatever the hell that was

ROXY: you werent serious about calling off the party were you

ROXY: here let me just get the chess guys to help put the table back on the roof

ROXY: and maybe salvage the cake out of that sand dune over there...

ROXY: aaaaand NOPE the chess guys just finished eatin it

ROXY: lets just bake another k?

JANE: NO, I WAS SERIOUS!

JANE: I'M NOT...

JANE: I'm not in the mood for a party anymore.

ROXY: so it sounds like

ROXY: u got jaked

JANE: >:(

ROXY: why yes

ROXY: that is the face of a girl who just got english'd with extreme prejudice

ROXY: he was a block head and forgot your birthday didnt he

ROXY: im sorry jane

JANE: Yeah, me too. Can we maybe not rehash the whole terrible conversation though??

ROXY: yeah we dont have to

ROXY: just maybe try not to hold whatever dumb shit he said against him forever?

ROXY: thats just how the guy is

ROXY: its like

ROXY: he doesnt mean to be a douche

ROXY: but its just kind of a byproduct of the whole ridiculous jake english experience

ROXY: like his dunkass shenanigans leave behind a residue that looks like douche and tastes like douche but it aint the real thing?

ROXY: like douche substitute

ROXY: "i cant believe its not douche"

ROXY: um

ROXY: im just trying to say not terrible things about him in hopes you dont start hating each other but i guess this isnt what you wanna hear now

JANE: >:(

ROXY: soooo yeah

ROXY: i guess jakes dumpin dirk soon?

ROXY: hahah like the writing wasnt so on the wall with those two from day one

ROXY: poor dirk

ROXY: ive wanted to say something to prepare him for that but

ROXY: never had the heart to bring it up i guess?

ROXY: what can u do....

ROXY: hey

ROXY: but the silver lining is

ROXY: i mean if you can forgive him for shitting on your bday and stuff

ROXY: maybe this is finally your chance to make a play 4 the j man??

ROXY: ehhhh??? ;)

FEFETASPRITE: 3833 < 38D

JANE: ROXY, PLEASE.

JANE: AS IF THAT ISN'T THE FURTHEST THING FROM MY MIND RIGHT NOW!

JANE: I AM SO DONE WITH THAT WHOLE TRAIN OF THOUGHT.

ROXY: so you really think youre just

ROXY: completely over him?

JANE: YESSIREE!

JANE: IF JAKE'S THE RAINBOW, THEN JUST CALL ME A LITTLE HOUSE FROM KANSAS!

JANE: WHEEEEEE!

ROXY: wait rly

ROXY: as in like you dont give a shit if he dates anybody or

JANE: MMMMMMMHM!!!

ROXY: i seeee

ROXY: iiiiiinteresting!

FEFETASPRITE: 3833 < 38O

JANE: WAIT...

JANE: WHAT??

JANE: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN???

ROXY: nothing!

ROXY: i was just...

ROXY: it was a joke!

JANE: WAS IT REALLY?!

ROXY: ok maybe not a total joke

ROXY: but still mostly a joke!

ROXY: im only

ROXY: trying to

ROXY: blurgh

ROXY: i dont know

JANE: ROXY, I GET YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER, BUT A LOT OF THINGS YOU'RE SAYING HERE AREN'T REALLY HELPING!

JANE: DO YOU EVEN REALIZE WHAT YOU'RE SAYING HALF THE TIME?

JANE: I THINK I LIKED YOU BETTER WHEN YOU WERE DRINKING!

ROXY: jaaane no

ROXY: dont say that

ROXY: i had a problem :(

FEFETASPRITE: 3833 < 38(

JANE: OK, YEAH!

JANE: I WAS WAY OUT OF LINE THERE AND I'M SORRY!

JANE: THAT STUPID CONVERSATION WITH JAKE JUST PUSHED ME OVER SOME KIND OF EDGE AND NOW I AM FEELING REALLY, REALLY DISTRAUGHT!

JANE: THIS GAME IS SO MUCH MORE DEPRESSING THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE! EVERYTHING IS DEAD AND EMPTY AND FULL OF GRAVES AND ALL WE'RE SUPPOSED TO DO IS JUST KEEP WAITING AND WAITING AND WAITING! BUT FOR HOW MUCH LONGER? AND I STILL DON'T KNOW WHERE MY DAD IS, AND YOU STILL HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO REACH CALLIOPE, AND WHAT IF THEY'RE BOTH...

JANE: AND NOW ON TOP OF ALL THAT, I MAY HAVE PERMANENTLY DESTROYED MY FRIENDSHIP WITH JAKE!

JANE: AND NOW...

JANE: Now...

JANE: I just want to be alone.

ROXY: jane wait

JANE: I have to go!

ROXY: where are you going!

JANE: HOME!!!

ROXY: good lard

ROXY: all my friends are being disasters

ROXY: welp looks like its just us

ROXY: party nite w gcat and fefeta

ROXY: fefeta???

ROXY: oh dangit

ROXY: hey you know i could have used some support there

ROXY: where was all that profound shippin expertise when we really needed it!

ROXY: usually i can barely shut you up girl

ROXY: maybe you just clammed up at all the drama?

ROXY: hehehe youd have loved that pun

ROXY: the one i just said about the clams

ROXY: aw its ok you had enough drama in your lives

ROXY: you deserve some rest

ROXY: good night sweet princess

ROXY: sooo

ROXY: gcat

ROXY: i guess that just leaves the two of us

ROXY: wow this is

ROXY: great?

ROXY: you gonna behave urself

ROXY: not do anything too uh

ROXY: vexing or cheshire catty

ROXY: i hope?

ROXY: oh mother fuck

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