#ok so i actually made this right after i made that text post. but i've been working up the nerve to post it ever since. so here it is now.

[hyperfixation-or-death]

Victor Deslandes & Alice Deslandes

[1."Poplar Street", Chen Chen / Tumblr user @metamorphesque // 2. Parallels screenshot // 3. "The Hours", Michael Cunningham // 4. Parallels screenshot // 5. Parallels screenshot // 6. Young Volcanoes, Fall Out Boy // 7. Parallels screenshot // 8. Parallels screenshot // 9. Tumblr user @brownvampire // 10. Ella Wilson // 11. Parallels screenshot // 12. "It lingers for your whole life", Katie Maria // 13. Parallels screenshot // 14. Interlude: I'm Not Angry Anymore, Paramore // 15. Parallels screenshot]

[yuri-is-online]

Congratulations on your 500 Followers!🎉 Hope you will grow more! I would like to choose the number 1 prompt, "Someone decides to ask you for your opinion about someone, and you decide to take advantage of your anonymity to admit your feelings. For some reason this flusters them."

For Jack, Sebek and Silver please

1. Someone decides to ask you for your opinion about someone, and you decide to take advantage of your anonymity to admit your feelings. For some reason this flusters them.

Thank you very much friend! I really hope this is to your liking, and I really hope that you continue to find things that entertain you posted to this account.

notes: they/them used for Yuu, mutual pining, I find Jack really hard to write for because of his whole soulmate thing but please know he loves Yuu so fucking much he is in pain, Sebek thinks he's slick, and Silver is oblivious to a lot. The other event requests can be found on my masterlist.

Jack

There is a distressing lack of fluffy tails within your line of sight in the ballroom this evening. A feeling has been growing within you these past few months, similar to a crush but so intense it makes you want to fall over with the strength of your longing. You have no idea if Jack feels the same, he has continued to treat you with the same degree of feigned indifference he's held you at since the day you met.

And now he has left you all alone in the middle of a ballroom full of people that very much aren't him. Well that's how you feel it's not like you made any sort of concrete agreement to meet up beyond the typical first year friend group "hey let's all get together" texts that always populated your group chat when the school hosted events like this. You suppose your feet were always going to hurt at an event like this, but you had been hopeful that your heart wouldn't ache as well.

"Come here often?" A strange strangled voice asks, clearly trying to break the ice and not at all serious. You are both leaning against a pillar after all.

"Not really." Your stomach is still firmly in your throat, this person is massive and you see no sign of the comforting ears and tail of a wolf. "You?"

"Nope." And though neither of you make much a move to keep the conversation moving, you don't move to leave either despite the growing awkward aura around you both. You look out across the ballroom, eyes drawn towards Leona desperately searching for a sign. Your strange new friend takes note, he also seems to be looking at Leona. "Not afraid of staring are, you?"

"Is that what it looks like?" You ask slightly distressed.

"Most people just tuck tail and run when they see Savanaclaw." He almost sounds disgusted, but you can't quite tell with who. "I'm surprised you can stand to look."

"I've got good friends in Savanaclaw." You huff. Sure there's a chance this guy doesn't mean anything by what he's saying, but this is NRC. There is a much bigger chance that he does.

"Oh? Like who, Jack Howl?" This bitch-

"No." You cross your arms. "Friends don't make you want to explode."

"... I'm sorry?" The strange man apologizes, and it really does sound like he means it if the way he's scratching the back of his head is anything to go by. Unfortunately you have been sitting on these stupid feelings all night and really need them out in front of someone who isn't Grim, seven knows he doesn't care.

"Seriously like- wolf beastmen have only one soulmate? Forever? So it doesn't matter how I feel I just- never have a chance like ever. Ever ever ever, he's just always going to see me as some annoying hanger on- well maybe not annoying because I actually put in an effort you know?" The captive audience doesn't nod but that's ok, you just keep charging on. "And I know he appreciates that because his tail wags every time one of us do and it's so cute to watch."

"'m not cute."

"But that just doesn't matter he's got somebody already he just hasn't met them yet and I don't even know the right music to try and get rid of my feelings to. It's not like I can just ask him out and hope rejection will make the feelings go away because there is just no way he would be like in anyway nice about it-"

"What if you were that person though?" The stranger's voice is so strangled it's almost recognizable, and it successfully snaps you out of your stupor.

"But I'm not." You want to scream it, but it comes out so very quietly. "He was really clear about that, he'd just know."

"I'm stupid. I mean he is. Stupid. And you're human, maybe the feeling's different because there's a chance for rejection. It's not like humans always have soul mates." A dull silence falls over you both. Unease working it's pesky way back into both of your minds.

Not all humans have soul mates, but you most certainly do. Just... give him a moment, a ball is not his scene. But later when you're all alone, traipsing your way through the woods towards that lonely cottage there will be a wolf primed to strike. Just why did he ever worry Jack wonders, glad for the mask hiding his grin, he knew he only needed to be lucky once.

Sebek

"Just what is your opinion on Malleus anyway?" Sebek tells himself he is asking you this for safety reasons. It's a question he has asked you before, just louder and with force enough to "blow down a barn door" to quote Epel, but this damn mask had a mockingly fitting enchantment that pitched his voice down and quieted it the more he tried yelling. He almost sounded like he was impersonating Jade, something that would likely deeply amuse the strange upperclassmen and seems to have a soothing effect on you. Not that he was jealous!

"Tsunotarou and I are bros." Yuu puts up what Master Lilia had told him was a "peace sign" and "extremely cute" but makes him seethe with rage and actual jealousy, not whatever that sickening feeling he'd had before was.

"You are not." The mask makes his dull roar sound like a middle aged mother gleefully scolding her friend for buying a particularly saucy pair of heels and not the justified rage of a royal retainer. "If you are bros just what does that make you to his retainers hmmmm?" That makes Yuu falter for some reason, mouth moving before the words are fully formed like they are considering hiding something.

That scares him. Because it compromises his lord's safety. Obviously.

"Well, I think Lilia's super cool." An objectively true statement human. A bit sparse on the praise but then what use would Master Lilia have for a human's praise? It would be better spent on him anyway. "He's really smart and happy to talk about what he knows, even if he lies about things sometimes, gotta have fun with yourself sometimes I guess. Silver is a bit dense, but he tries so hard you have to respect him for it." Again Sebek finds himself agreeing with Yuu, but the praise stings for some reason. It's minimal, but he supposes Yuu's avoidance of addressing the issue- not that they are he supposes, they may have stopped speaking but he doesn't think they intend to not give an opinion about him.

"And Sebek?" But he prods for it anyway because he wants it. He knows himself, he is not exactly ashamed of himself but Sebek knows you would never tell him the full truth of your opinion to his face. He can't even call Yuu by their name, why should they-

Sigh, like a besotted Princess in a fairy tale, play with the edges of their cape like a Prince questioning his propriety in voicing his desires but unable to swallow their emotion-

"He's really something else." You mean it, not that you are too sure why you feel like telling this stranger your deepest secret or why you chose to phrase it like a complaint. But the compliment suits Sebek like that you think. And the stranger doesn't stop you. "Knights are sort of out of fashion where I'm from but I've always liked them, and Sebek's the perfect image of one you know? I just wish there was some room in his heart for someone other than Malleus... not that I think his devotion's a bad thing y'know? I just- want to be treasured by a knight too."

"Just a knight?" The stranger asks. "Silver's there too I suppose."

"Nah he's not really my type." You shrug. "I like my guys a little pathetic. Look-" You barely notice the familiar way the stranger splutters as you bow to signal your exit. "I gotta go get Grim before he lights the place on fire, if you see Sebek tell him I'm looking for him? I want to dance with him at least once I just know he's good at it." And with that they're gone leaving an extremely competent and not at all pathetic thank you very much! Flustered mess of a man behind them.

Silver

"Oh hello Prefect." You have no idea who this student is but it is not unusual for people to know who you are given everything that's happened at this stupid school since you accidentally enrolled. "Nice to see you are enjoying yourself, the rolls are really good." And he is not judging you for the amount of bread you have in front of you so as far as you are concerned he can stay.

"They really are." You nod sagely, offering your new friend some of your hoard which he happily accepts as you both turn towards the ballroom to people watch. "I shouldn't be surprised at how good the food is, but somehow I always am." The stranger nods ruefully.

"I know what you mean. After eating so much of fa- Lillia's cooking you forget what things are supposed to taste like sometimes." Oh so this guy is in Diasomnia then? You'll have to compliment Tsunotarou later, this guy is super polite.

"Yeah I can see that, it makes feel bad for Silver sometimes what with how close those two are." You continue munch on your bread, too caught up in the fluffiness of it to notice how the "stranger" pauses, a thought forming in his mind he is sure to regret later but is unable to fully resist.

To long is human, which he is, painfully so.

"Do you think about Silver often?" He hopes he sounds playful, you fluster, looking the man up and down wondering if maybe Lilia has decided to alter his appearance to tease you some.

"More often than I should." Even if this is Lilia, it's not like anyone can really mock you for this can you? It's a Masquerade Ball, you're allowed to spill your guts to a stranger and reasonably expect nothing to come of it. Hell, just because this guy's in Diasomnia doesn't mean he'll say anything. "He's hard to ignore you know?"

"Not really." Silver picks at the bread, half hoping you will drop the topic, half agonizing about how to feel if you do. "He... doesn't have the best reputation in our dorm. People think he's too intense."

"Hmmm." You can see why, people who lack facial expressions often find themselves failing to express their intent. "That doesn't bother me." Oh he could practically soar, his whole body straightens in pride when you say that. "Silver is one of the few people I feel truly safe and... well sometimes I feel cherished around him. But I don't want to put pressure on him since we aren't even really friends I don't think."

"Why wouldn't you be?" He is deeply confused, he knows Lilia's advice is always coached in jokes but Silver didn't think the flowers he asked his animal friends to find would hinder his progress too badly. You were even wearing them tonight, it was how he found you, so it's not like you hated them... right? "I- He cares about you, I mean you know that right?"

"Maybe." Is all you say, eyes looking for someone in the crowd that's sat right next to you oh so painfully unaware- "But if I said I liked him would he even know what I meant? Would he still want to be friends... if..."

"Of course he would." Silver means it, but somehow he feels like he is missing something. The weight of your hand maybe, as you leave the "stranger" in search of... well he hopes "Silver" because if he knew you loved him, because he thinks that was what you meant maybe he wouldn't want to be just friends.

Best friends maybe? He'll have to ask Li- his father later.

[kerubimcrepin]

LIVEBLOG: Dofus Novel 4, The Thirsty Beheader

I apologize for my absence. Translating this novel has burned me out from the fandom in a pretty major way, and I also got into a different fandom in the meantime and am, like, three 4k word chapters deep into a longfic for said new fandom. Besides that, I had a depressive episode and went insane for a while. Basically, I've been a bit busy.

At the same time I release this post, I have uploaded the new, updated versions of both translations (since this liveblog is mostly a reason for me to reread and fix stuff) to MEGA and VK, so I recommend you download the new versions!

I will mostly be copying the text directly, to bypass tumblr's image restriction, but some screenshots will be provided. For example:

If pride is a sin, then the typesetting and cleaning I went through with this book will have me go to hell after I die. (I don't think I'm a master, but I did a pretty good job, ok?)

A cart had just entered the District of the Lost Steps. It stopped in front of the store, as two Srams* got out.

I love the internal consistency of the street being named here. Thank you, author of this book, for caring.

“Are you sure about this,” asked the little guy, “Is this really the right place?” “Yeah,” replied the tall one, “There aren't thirty-six Shushu* houses in the neighborhood.”

LMAO this is something Kerubim is actually known for, huh?

At the time that this book takes place in, joris can't read very well. Cute...

Also, hehe... I am pretty proud of the way this part of the book was cleaned + the font + the layers and colors and opacity I applied to the text, to make it fit in with the paper.

^^^ This is me btw, during this entire post. ^^^

The entirety of the epilogue and prologue are typed on top of cleaned backgrounds sourced from the scan. The rest of the book is typed in front of a digital background. This artistic choice was made because....... You can't set different pages to be different colors in word. You have to overlay some image or a textbox, if you want a page to be a different color.

Anyway — I had a lot of fun searching for the fonts from this book! (and far less fun searching for appropriate fonts for the Russian translation since none of the fonts this book uses have cyrilic versions...)

The fonts this book uses are: Dimbo, Chelsea Market, and Aleo. Google them for all your Dofus Aux Tresors de Kerubim related needs.

The fonts I chose to use in the russian translation are: Brydan Write, Correction Brush, Curinn, and Itim. I just had to make do with what I had, ok?

“My Papycha said it's urgent!” exclaimed Joris, “He could be in danger. Maybe he's being attacked by the Thirsty!” Even Pupuce looked worried. Simone reread the message, thinking out loud: “The Huffing Bow Wow tavern is in the Pandawa district... There's plenty of bamboo milk there. Maybe the neighborhood is overrun by the Thirsters?” “And soon, the whole city will be under attack!” concluded Joris.

Nobody knows how to escalate a situation better than a 7yo with anxiety. God bless <3

The Ecaflip goes full "war machine" mode: he cuts and slices through the living dead for the entire night, and when the golden disk of the sun finally rises over the horizon, the scenery is carpeted with the Thirsty. The region is saved. Kerubim becomes a legend. To thank him, the local lord offers him the... “Hey... Joris? Are you listening?” asked Simone. She began shaking the boy, who, abruptly snapping out of his reverie, mumbled: “Huh? What?”

Joris is so normal. So sane.

“Bye-bye,” added Bowiknif. But Luis slammed the door in their faces, roaring: “You're not going anywhere!” “Oh yeah?” hissed Bakstab, “Is that so?” “Would you like us to chop up your friends with a Brakmarian steel sword of Chouque?” questioned the other, “Or with Samuel J. Axe?” Luis muttered what sounded like a string of expletives, before reluctantly opening the door to the two robbers, who bolted out without further ado.

I'm LITERALLY fucking insane about this.

“I'm sorry,” said Luis, “I tried to hold them back, but...” “We know, we saw everything,” the girl cut him off, “You did your best, Luis.”

Actually deranging. Also explains why Luis did fuckall about Sipho, Harebourg, and Ush — there's just not much he can actually do.

She spotted a Dragoturkey standing near a trough. In two strides, she reached the animal, untied it, and climbed onto its back like an experienced Dragogirl*. “Let’s go!” she said to the boy.

This once again raises a some questions about Simone's past — when did she learn how to ride dragoturkeys? Is it the same reason why she knows how to fight, at least a little?

Then again, maybe she's just being an Osamodas here.

I love, love, love the Simone&Joris content in this book. Their bond is so important to me... She's the aunt who stepped up.

This art is so nice...

They had run like mad through half the city, arrived at the wrong address, turned back just as a thunderstorm broke out, wandered around in the rain in the Pandawa district, and FINALLY arrived at the Huffing Bow Wow Tavern, a large, long building with a thatched roof.

They're so fucking stupid. I love them.

“Ah, there you are!” called out Kerubim, “I almost thought you’d make me wait some more!”

I wish english also had the phrase "I almost thought you'd be late" as a cunty response when someone's an hour or three late to an event. I don't think the english translation I made conveys the sheer frustration.

Kerubim raised an eyebrow — a perfect copy of the circumflex accent:

I struggled with this part a lot in russian sjfkgdfg. It made me nerd out a little bit too.

I didn't have a lot of comments here, but eh. It was nice to finally get this over with dfjgkdsfg.

[snek-panini]

It is Monday, and Monday is for books. Look at these beautiful things! They took me five months to make. I tried so many new things in the process and I am extremely proud of them. This is a binding of @racketghost's amazing Good Omens fic Strange Moons (Hi. I hope it's ok I tagged you in this. Your fic has been one of my favorites since I found it in 2019.) The story is a series of short fics (and one long one) that really need no introduction from me. They're set throughout the 20th century, and they are beautiful and sensual and moody and you should definitely read them if you haven't already. This is the longest work I've bound so far, but I was fortunate that the word count on the shorter fics added up to almost exactly the length of the final, longest one, making them the perfect choice for a two-volume set. I tried very hard to get them to be an exact match, and they turned out even better than I pictured.

More pics under the cut! Two books means twice the pics, and all the stuff I tried here means it's a very long post, so be warned.

Individual images of the covers. The titles are done in silver htv over brown faux leather, edged in charcoal bookcloth. The graphics are the same on both, except for the title text, and they have the same image of the reaching hands on the back. All the art assets are from rawpixel, I just flipped and rotated some of them to make the back image.

The cover materials were an interesting challenge. I'd worked with both before and wanted to incorporate them both in the design, but after measuring and checking grain direction I found I didn't have enough of either of them to do a full book, or even a half bind. So they're actually made by affixing the faux leather to the book board, then layering strips of book cloth over the top. The corners are actually mitered at a 45-degree angle. Here's a close-up:

It's two long strips of cloth (spine and fore edge, not mitered) with two short strips (top and bottom, mitered) glued over the top. There was so much measuring, omg. I bought a new tool to make sure I got it right. Hilariously, I still didn't have enough leather and had to order another roll anyway. Also hilariously, I got the idea to do this after seeing an image of a leather-bound book made by a professional that appeared to have the same feature, i.e. multiple materials with an inset and mitered corners. Wow, I said, looking at a video thumbnail, I'm going to do that! So I did, even though I didn't watch the video. Much later, after I watched his tutorial, it was clear that the design was from leather dye and tooling, not the thing that I did at all. But I do like the effect, and now I know it's possible I think it'll be great for using up weird offcuts from making other covers.

Look, spines! With TITLES on them! And LITTLE RIDGES! Both firsts for me. I'm a little obsessed with them. The cricut has opened up entirely new worlds, though I suspect the little silver lines might have been easier to do with a foil pen (which I don't have) than they were with a heat press. I did them by making the cricut cut out several "=" symbols that were the same width as the spine. The raised bands are false bands; I made them by layering little pieces of chipboard on the spine stiffener, then molding the book cloth around them when I covered them. I was worried it wouldn't work, since this is usually done with leather and book cloth is apparently way less stretchy, but it worked fine. Probably because it's a small straight design, no curves or fancy bits. I'd layer the chipboard thicker next time so they stand up higher (this is 2 layers, I'd do 3 in future) but I'm delighted by how this turned out. They look so professional.

The endpapers on both books are a constellation print. I had a really hard time trying to find something to go with the typeset, and the only ones I liked were from an etsy seller who kept selling out of them. I got lucky eventually but it was one of many hassles that befell this project. I also made my own end bands using a tutorial from the Renegade Bindery discord. I had some issues and I didn't quite nail them but I think they're pretty good for a first time (ok, second time, the first one was on a practice text block, but my point stands). I had originally intended this to be a split boards binding, my first time trying that, but when I got the boards glued on I found that they were crooked. Really crooked. Completely misaligned. Much swearing followed this discovery. I ended up having to cut the boards free, cutting the mull and tapes in the process. The mull was easily replaced, but the parts of the tapes that are usually glued to the boards were a lost cause. I reused the boards, but flipped them so the edge with the cut tapes inside is at the fore edge so I could have a cleaner hinge. You can see in the last photo that the cover board is a little wider at the fore edge. On the plus side, there are no tapes to wrinkle my pretty endpapers and it combated the small bit of spine swell I had. On the downside, the hinge has less support and the only thing I learned was How Not To Make A Sewn Boards Binding.

I may have gone a little nuts with the images in this typeset. In my defense they look very pretty. In order, that's the title page, table of contents, section break image (same as the back cover, just tiny), chapter header and ender (each chapter has one on its first and last pages, they just look particularly cool when you can get a full page spread like this), and the image on the last page of the book (same as the cover image, almost). The cover image was also supposed to have little rays coming off its moon like this one does, but the lines proved too thin for the cricut and it ate them. I still like how it looks though. The prose in this story is really rich and I was in the mood for opulence when I did it. I have absolutely no regrets.

Here's a feature that's unique to this typeset. One of the chapters in the second volume has three alternating, interwoven timelines. I read them fine on Ao3 but had trouble following them when I formatted it for printing. Usually I'd use the section break image to denote when there's a scene skip but there are literally dozens in this chapter, like 40-60 breaks over the course of 10 or so pages, and it looked very busy with images in it. So I left them out, made the line skips single instead of double like they are elsewhere in the book, and I color-coded the text instead. One timeline is printed in black, one is dark gray, and one is dark blue. And it's a very surreal chapter, with the characters having some very confusing and conflicting emotions, so I feel like reading multicolored text when you're not expecting it (the rest of the book is all normal black and this bit is near the middle) sort of reflects that unbalanced feeling? I hope so anyway, because I love the way it looks so much.

I learned so many things in the course of making these. I'm absolutely doing all of them again. Part of the reason it took so long was that I wanted it to be perfect, or as near as I could get, and I had to take the time to solve all the puzzles it threw at me. But it stretched my creativity and ingenuity and I could not be more in love with the finished product.

[frigidwife]

"if "the love was there" for real the writers wouldn't make us figure it out thru psychic divination" there's literally a scene where a third party, Louis fledgling, confirms that he loves Armand. It's a scene that exists for a reason or it wouldn't be there. I don't understand this fixation with denying that Louis felt something for Armand. The resentment, the transactional part, the coercion are also there, just like with Loustat. Same arguments could be used to claim that Louis doesn’t love Lestat and that it’s purely coercion and a trauma bond. It's pretty clear that Armand is not the love of his life, but Louis did love him. That fact doesn't make Armand's abuse any better? If anything it makes it worse.

ok so our primary evidence that louis loves armand is a scene where a character tells us verbally after feeling it via what is essentially in-universe psychic divination. she is in fact the only character at that table who cannot read louis's mind. in paris at the start of their relationship, louis has no difficulty telling armand i love you. in dubai seventy years later he has no difficulty informing daniel that armand is the love of his life. however he has great difficulty articulating his love for lestat, both in new orleans and in dubai. this twitter thread lays out the argument for the feelings madeleine senses not actually being for armand pretty clearly, even while still saying that louis does love armand. this scene on its own is not compelling evidence.

as to my fixation - i think the premise of the "love was there" argument is deeply flawed. you can correct me if i'm misinterpreting, but in this ask, as well as in other posts and comments i've seen, the underlying logic seems to be: if louis loved lestat, then he also loved armand (albeit less/different/etc). and this just doesn't make sense. they're two different people. with lestat there's resentment and coercion and a power imbalance. with armand there's resentment and coercion and a power imbalance. but those things are not what made louis love lestat. their presence does not necessitate love in the case of armand. the other anon is pointing out that with lestat there's an abundance of facial expressions, body language, diagetic and non diagetic references to other texts, narration, dialogue, etc indicating that louis loves him. with armand there is an expectation of love and romance and a performance of love and romance. and it is a pretty basic convention of narrative storytelling that expectations and performances are often subverted by the end of the story. as is the case here bc armand's central lie, which gets exposed over and over, is that he is always acting out of Love and even when he fails or hurts louis it's not really harm because it's due to love

--which is why i'm so fixated on arguing to the contrary. it's true that if louis really loved armand that wouldn't make armand’s abuse more palatable. we can see that with lestat. but ARMAND thinks it does. which is why armand has been telling louis for 7 decades i am the love of your life. you felt freedom and warmth when you first met me and it was because of me. you are feeling it again right now. etc. that's why i think it's an important point for understanding the story

[la-pheacienne]

It is certainly true that the show has done a lot to force an unbearable climate onto the remaining book fans, but on the other hand you could also wonder - why is such a large part of this remaining book fandom so hell-bent on fanatically supporting the most stupid, toxic ideas we have seen the show to embrace? I would say as stupid as these plot points were, few of the basic, broad ideas Dave and Dan went for were really things they made up all on their own. Mad Queen theories, the distorted view of so many characters like Arya and so on, these all were echoing things a lot of book fans (the type of milieu many of the people in charge of HBO's output were bred in) always WANTED the story and the characters and their trajectory to be, regardless how well founded these wishes matched the actual text.

The show was echoing bad fanon rooted in the book scene more or less from the beginning, you can trace it directly to how some characters were presented and castings were chosen right from the start. That's also why if you listen more closely to so many of the less bearable people in the book scene, the REAL problem so many of them had with the ideas of the latter parts of the show was that it was done in such a way that the public thought it was trash and didn't accept it. The whole agenda of them is now hoping for the books to emerge as some better written version of the show that finally will convince them all that this worthless trash story that is ironically only loved and wanted by these people alone is actually the correct version of it and its characters everyone should finally accept and digest. As ridiculous as the show was, ironically the most ridiculous parts of it were in truth clumsily made fan service for the worst sentiments that were peddled by and nurtured within the book fandom.

Oh, for sure. Thank you for this ask because you have put into words something that has been turning in my head for a long time.

the REAL problem so many of them had with the ideas of the latter parts of the show was that it was done in such a way that the public thought it was trash and didn't accept it.

After almost a year on tumblr and observing the book fandom and reading the BNFs' metas and theories and fanons and briefly delving into reddit and twitter god forbid, I have to say that I agree with you. I can't say how it was in the past though, I wasn't here. But I am afraid it is exactly as you say it is. I mean, Dany's arc from a hero to a fallen hero to a villain because *she watched her abusive brother die without an emotional reaction, psychopath!*, Jon just randomly exiled beyond the Wall because *subverting expectations*, none of them becoming King/Queen of the Seven Kingdoms/KINT, not even BRIEFLY, not even during the War for the Dawn (ok Jon did), because *throne bAAAAD*, *they're not heroes no one can fix Westeros*, *monarchy bAAAAD*, *subverting expectations*, Sansa getting girlbossified because *subverting expectations*, all of these points that ****supposedly*** sucked in GoT, are the exact same theories shared by a very big and very loud part of the BNF here, if not the majority.

So, what exactly is the internet fandom's problem with the show? Is there any? I literally can't see it, except that it was done too quickly and thus made these stupid theories appear even more stupid than they initially were. I've seen a LOT of posts saying like "oh you should stop wishing for your fav to get the throne, no one will get the throne and no one is 'in the right' (especially in the fire and blood discourse), no one 'deserves' it, the throne will crush and burn, the show has done so much damage to the fandom pitting favs against each other for the throne" etc etc, but that's so funny to me because what they say will happen in the books is literally what happened in the show, at least roughly, and their vibe was the vibe of a huge part, if not the majority, of the show fandom. This super annoying nihilism that I see in (book) BNF right now is the exact.same.nihilism I remember from the show fandom. The exact same one, but with a faux-feminist rosey Stansa touch. That's it. From the "Your heros will not get the throne, losers, Littlefinger will kill them all and prevail, the end" show-only dudebro rationale we went to the "oh nobody can fix Westeros, Dany and Jon will sacrifice themselves (best case, worst case Dany will get all psycho like her daddy and bros), monarchy Targs BAD, Targ feudal system BAD, fuck the Targ lords, team small folk, only coincidentally my fav bbgrl Sansa will actually end up in a conventional and strictly feudal position of power uwu, the end". The common denominator? Nihilism and this obsession for subverting expectations. This parallel is even funnier with hotd, where the show's most non-sensical, straight up delulu plot points are whole-heartedly embraced by, again, a big and very loud part of the BNF (probably the majority). This time the concordance is direct and not even denied, and it's embarrassing when I see their half-ass attempts at criticizing the show, because they literally can't. They actually love it and it's so obvious.

So to get to your point, there are two possibilities here: either the show's nihilistic, faux-edgy, shock value-based direction irrevocably transformed the book fandom, or the book fandom was already in that mindset and the show was based on that and it could very well be the latter.

[bitchin-beskar]

The Roommate Agreement - Chapter 1

Rating: Mature

Pairing: College!Athlete!Roommate!Paz Vizsla x Fem!Reader (Bunny)

Warnings: Ok, so this chapter has no smut, as we're setting up the story here. However, this is the first chapter in a multi chapter story in which the MAIN THEME is free use, so there will be a LOT of smut. If you're not 18+, dnr/dni. REMINDER: IF YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT FREE USE MEANS, YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO BE READING THIS FIC. LEAVE AT ONCE. I will say, for this chapter, we do have a male character (not paz) physically abusing the reader, although it is very brief, it could potentially be triggering. Please be aware of this when reading. Other than that, this chapter is relatively tame, but it will ramp up soon.

Word Count: 4.5k

A/N: Oof, ok so I've been meaning to get this posted for awhile, but I've decided to share it tonight especially because I feel like we all deserve a treat after the latest Mandalorian episode drop. So this is for @maybege, @catsnkooks, @tailorvizsla, and anyone else who was personally victimized by the choices made by Filoni and Favreau in the latest episode of the Mandalorian. Have some lovely hurt/comfort and fluff babes, I hope this helps ❤️

You stare down at your phone, more than a little frustrated. Parjai had said he didn’t have any plans other than gaming with some friends online, so there should be no reason for not picking up the phone. But after over ten increasingly urgent text messages and numerous unanswered phone calls and voicemails over the last hour, you have to conceed that he just isn’t going to answer. You look around the party despondently.

Honestly, you hadn’t even really wanted to come, but Mir’a had drug you out, saying that you needed a night out to loosen up a bit. Then she’d gone off and gotten massively drunk, and ended up going home with her on-again-off-again partner, so you were now stuck at a party you didn’t want to be at, where you knew no one, you had no ride home, and your boyfriend wasn’t answering the phone.

Just as you were starting to debate the likelyhood of being able to catch a taxi or Uber this late at night, your phone buzz. You glanced at it, half expecting to see a sheepish text from Parjai, but instead lighting up your phone was a notification from Paz. A little unconscious smile crossed your lips, and you leaned back against the wall, bringing your phone up to see it better as you swiped at the screen to open up your text thread with him.

Instead of a message, he’d sent you a selfie, and you could tell from the photo that he was in his truck, likely just having left a late night practice with the Mudhorns–the hockey team he was the goalie for. His hair looked wet, like he’d just hopped out of the shower, and you could see an old Mythosaurs logo on his teeshirt, the team he’d grown up idolizing. He had an adorably crooked grin on his face, and it was easy to see how he managed to charm damn near everyone he met.

While you were looking at the selfie, a message from him popped up on your screen.

Hey, still awake?

You bit your lip, suddenly thoughtful. If you were remembering right, the hockey rink wasn’t too far from here. Maybe…

Before you could second guess yourself, you tapped on his profile picture and then his phone number, putting your phone up to your ear as you began to move through the throng of bodies towards the outside. The butterflies barely had time to take flight in your belly when Paz’s deep voice was coming through your phone’s speaker and directly into your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

“What’s this, a proof of life call?”

“Ha ha, very funny,” you said loudly, almost shouting to be heard over the music. “I actually was wondering if you could do me a huuuuuge favor?”

“Is that favor rescuing you from the angry mob you sound like you’ve accidentally joined?”

Your voice was drier than the deserts of Tatooine. “Truly Paz, you’ve missed your calling as a comedian by joining the hockey team. You should be doing stand-up.”

His loud, deep laugh sounded on the other end, and you couldn’t help but smile again. Gods, you’d missed his laugh. You’d missed him.

“I belong on that rink and we both know it.” You snorted at the cocky tone of his voice. “Nah, you know I’d do anything for you. What’cha need rabbit?”

You groaned. “Please, not that stupid nickname again. I had like… one stuffed animal as a kid and suddenly everyone calls me that.”

“You brought the damn thing in the bath with you, what did you think was gonna happen?”

You narrowed your eyes, wishing that somehow Paz could feel your glare through the phone. “Anyways,” you growled, ignoring his chuckles. “I was at a party except my ride left with someone else and now I’m stuck. Is there any way you could give me a ride back to my apartment?”

“Of course,” Paz responded with zero hesitation. “Gimme the address.” As you rattled off the address of the house party, Paz sighed through the phone. “I recognize it. Some of the di’kute freshmen on the team have gotten wasted at parties there and I’ve had to come get them. I’ll be there in five.”

“Thanks, Paz.”

You could almost hear his smile on the other end. “Of course.”

You finished weaving your way through the crowds of drunk, high, and horny college students to step out on the front porch, breathing in a wave of fresh air. The night was clear, and it was only the early days of fall, so it wasn’t too cold yet. You looked up at the stars for a few moments, before you heard the familiar roar of an engine.

Looking down the street, you saw the headlights of Paz’s truck illuminating the otherwise quiet road, and you began making your way down the drive. He pulled to a stop in front of the house, waiting for you to cross in front of the truck and climb in the passenger side. You pulled yourself up and into his truck, buckling in before turning to see him grinning goofily at you.

“What?” You asked, feeling somewhat self-conscious but your cheeks still warming pleasantly under his gaze. “Do I have something on my face?”

His grin softened, and he reached out, almost subconsciously, and brushed the pads of his fingers over your cheek. “Nah,” he said, eyes still boring into yours. “Jus’ missed you, that’s all. It’s been awhile.”

You smiled back, soft too but a little self-deprecating. The both of you were well aware of just why it had been so long since you’d seen each other in person. Parjai was almost impossible to deal with whenever he simply heard Paz’s name, let alone if he knew you’d seen him or tried to hang out with him. It had seemed simpler at the time to distance yourself from Paz, something your parents and Parjai had encouraged, but now it just made you sad. At least he didn’t seem to hold it against you.

Paz sat back in his seat and re-started the engine, pulling away from the curb and beginning to drive down the darkened roads. You were a good few miles from your place with Parjai, and you couldn’t deny that you were excited to simply get to spend this little bit of time with him. The two of you sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments, before you opened your mouth, wanting to make the most of seeing him and actually talk to him.

“How’s the team doing?”

He lit up, his grin huge and unrestrained. It triggered a grin of your own, always so happy to see Paz get excited about the sport he loved.

“They’re good! Din’s finally getting situated in left defence. He’s been working really hard at it, he’s a damn good defender, he just had some trouble believing it. Tua and Kua are a good pair too, they both made starter positions this year.”

You thought for a second. “The Skirata twins, right?”

“Yeah, that’s them. They’re assholes, but good players.”

You racked your brain trying to think of the other players you knew about on the team. With it being a new school year, there were some faces you didn’t quite know yet. “What about the other goalie position? Is Kye’ma still the secondary?”

Paz guwaffed loudly. “No! He got himself removed from the team ‘cause his grades were slipping too much.”

You breathed a sigh of relief. Kye’ma Reau had been a vicious player, and while he was good at the sport, he was a little too bloodthirsty. He’d always been sore that Paz was the starting goalie and not him, and you were honestly starting to get a little worried about the possibility of him staging an “accident” for Paz, so you were glad he was no longer in the picture.

“Who replaced him?”

“Some freshman kid, Uliik Gedyc. Wouldn’t know it just by looking at him though. Kid’s built like a fucking tank.”

You snickered at the mental image. You remembered what Paz looked like as a freshman in college, and you wouldn’t exactly describe his physique at the time as ‘tank-like.’ Although, that wasn’t to say he hadn’t been fit. Paz had been fit since he’d discovered gyms around the same time as puberty, and the muscle mass only grew with every year.

Not that you’d noticed.

All too soon, you realized that you were turning onto your street. You slumped slightly in your seat, sad that your time with Paz was coming to an end. You resolved to try and fix that, and to attempt to spend more time with him. Granted it was senior year, and both of you were set to graduate, and he had the hockey team to think about too, but you were tired of shunning your best friend to keep your boyfriend happy.

As Paz pulled into the driveway of the place you shared with Parjai, you were surprised to see Parjai storming out the front door, his face twisted in fury. You quickly unbuckled and practically threw yourself out of the truck, not hearing Paz call after you, as you were worried something was wrong.

Before you could get any words out, Parjai reached you and gripped your arm tightly, causing you to cry out in shock and a little bit of pain.

“What the fuck are you doing with him?”

You blinked at the furious words being thrown in your face. “Him-you mean Paz? He gave me a ride home because you didn’t-”

“Don’t fucking blame me for you being a slut.” He growled, shaking you hard. “How many times do I have to fucking tell you? You’re not allowed to see him, not only is he a goddamn exile, but you’re mine, you hear me? I won’t be made a fool of by my girlfriend just whoring herself out to whoever fucking asks!”

You jerked away, ripping your arm from his grasp. You could smell the alcohol on his breath, and it turned your stomach, although not as much as the hateful words he spewed.

“I’m not fucking Paz, Parjai,” you said, not yelling but the anger still clear in your voice. “I’ve told you before, he’s just a friend. I’ve known him for years, there’s nothing wrong with me wanting to spend a little time with him! Besides, you weren’t answering! What was I supposed to do?”

“You fucking slut!”

Suddenly, blooming pain spread across your cheek, and you fell back in shock, your body colliding with the door of Paz’s truck and your head cracking against the glass from the force of what had been Parjai’s hand clocking you across the face.

You slowly raised a hand to your cheek, fingers shaking as they brushed the skin even as you winced from the pain. Tears filled your eyes and you turned your head back to look at your still-furious boyfriend. He was glaring hatefully at you, even though he was swaying on his feet, likely from the intoxication.

He opened his mouth, probably to spew more vitriol, when abruptly, faster than your brain was able to register, a fist shot out and punched Parjai square in the jaw, sending him sprawling to the ground.

You blinked dumbly at your boyfriend-no, ex-boyfriend now, like hell were you gonna stay with that asshole-lying prone on the lawn, groaning in pain. Your brain felt like it was swimming through molasses, unable to process events in real time. As you were trying to put together what exactly just happened, suddenly Paz was standing in front of you, cupping your face in his hands as frantic eyes roved over you.

You just stood there, watching as his mouth moved, but unable to hear anything over the rushing of blood in your ears. He let one hand fall to your shoulder while the other came up to gently prod at the swelling on your face of what was likely to be a nasty black eye. He shook your shoulder, his face growing more concerned when suddenly there was a popping noise and you could hear clearly again.

The abrupt silence startled you and you jumped slightly. Paz raised his hands quickly off your body, taking a half step back so he wasn’t right in your space, but your panicking mind decided that was the absolute worst possible outcome, so you lunged forward and wrapped your arms around his torso, burying your face in his chest. The tentative grasp of control that you’d had simply shattered, and you began to sob brokenly into the fabric of his sweatshirt.

Paz’s arms came up around you, one banding around your back while the other came up to cradle your head against his chest. You twisted your fingers in his sweatshirt, anchoring yourself to him as you only cried harder.

His chest rumbled underneath you, and you faintly registered that he was whispering soft words of endearment, trying his best to soothe you. You sniffled and burrowed deeper, almost like if you tried hard enough, you could climb inside his chest where it was safe and never leave.

You could feel his lips pressing against the top of your head, leaving gentle kisses in the breaks between his words. He held you like something precious, like something to be treasured, and you found yourself never wanting to leave his embrace.

Unfortunately, Paz seemed to have different plans. He slowly pulled you away from where you’d been buried in his sweatshirt, although he kept his arms secure around you. He tilted your head up with a crooked finger under your chin, his gaze suddenly very serious.

“You’re not staying here, sweetheart. Get in the truck. I’m gonna run in and grab you a few things, and then we’re leaving.”

You blinked up at him, lashes clumped together with tears. You were sure you likely looked a mess, but all you could focus on was Paz’s arm around you and his fingers brushing your jaw. He sighed softly, seemingly realizing that you were not in a good frame of mind to be doing any critical thinking. He opened up the passenger door and bodily lifted you up, ignoring your quiet squeak of surprise as he set you in the passenger seat.

“Get buckled, I’m just gonna grab some of your things. I’ll be right back, I promise.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead, before letting his own forehead gently touch yours in the sweetest mirshmure’cya you’d ever recieved, bringing new tears to your eyes. He stepped back and shut the door, before quickly stepping over Parjai and walking into the house. You buckled in a daze, still reeling from how quickly things had changed. One second you’d been happily chatting with Paz about his hockey team, the next your boyfriend was punching you in the face.

You pulled down the visor on the passenger side and flipped open the mirror, wincing at your reflection. Already there was the starting of some swelling around your eye, and you could tell it was going to bruise. It was throbbing and aching, and you poked at the skin cautiously, nose scrunching up at the uncomfortable sensation. You were going to end up with a black eye for sure.

You see Paz coming back out of the front door, a duffle bag you recognize from your closet in hand, stuffed full of whatever Paz had deemed important enough for him to grab. He deftly stepped over Parjai, who was still lying on the ground, rolling around in pain as he clutched at his jaw. Paz didn’t even spare him a glance, instead quickly making his way to the driver’s side of the truck. He jerked open the door and climbed in, reaching back to set the duffle down on the floor behind his seat.

He buckled, and looked over at you, his hands tightening on the steering wheel as he took in the darkening bruise over your eye and the dried tear tracks on your face. He looked like he wanted to reach out to touch you, but restrained himself.

“Are you buckled, sweetheart?” You simply nodded, the lump in your throat too large to speak around. “Good. Let’s go home.”

You didn’t say anything, but you could tell Paz wasn’t really looking for a response either. He backed out of the driveway, probably a little faster than he should’ve, but it was late at night and it wasn’t like it was likely for anyone to be out for him to run into.

As he drove down the dark streets, navigating towards his apartment by memory, you looked out the window, eyes not really focusing on any one thing as the scenery flew by. You felt almost like you were having an out of body experience, like your limbs were too heavy for you to move on your own. Truly, you were about one step away from a complete breakdown. You didn’t realize you were twisting your hands in your lap until one of Paz’s hands settled on top of both of yours, stilling the anxious movement. You looked over, to see him still focused on the road, but a worried frown decorating his face. Turning one of your hands over, you pressed your palm against Paz’s, linking your fingers together and letting his touch ground you.

It wasn’t a long drive to Paz’s place, and soon enough, he was pulling up in front of his building. He didn’t waste time, shutting off his truck and sliding his hand out of yours so he could hop out. You began to undo your buckle, but before you could open the door, Paz was already there, ready to help you out of the truck. The concerned look on his face broke something inside you, and you felt tears begin to fill your eyes again.

Paz didn’t hesitate to pull you out of the truck and into his arms, your duffel already slung over his shoulder so both of his arms were free to hold you. You clung to him clumsily, throwing your arms around his neck and wrapping your legs around his waist as one of his arms wrapped around your torso to hold you tightly against him. Burying your face in his neck, you let the tears fall, trusting Paz to get you inside safely.

He didn’t say anything as he carried you into his apartment, and you didn’t look up from the safety of his neck until he was setting you down on a soft mattress. You looked around, slightly dazed as you realized you were in his bedroom. You’d seen glimpses of the space through pictures he’d sent you, but you’d never actually been in his bedroom.

A careful hand on your jaw caught your attention, and Paz gently lifted your head, turning it from side to side as he studied the swelling and darkening skin around your eye. His thumb brushed your cheek as his eyes found yours. “Lemme go grab something for you to ice that shiner with, ok?” You nodded, watching as he left the bedroom, moving down to where you were pretty sure his kitchen was.

While he was gone, you took a moment to take in his bedroom, the one place that was purely, personally, Paz. There weren’t a whole lot of decorations, but you weren’t expecting there to be. Paz had always been rather minimalistic by nature. He had some trophies and framed awards from various hockey leagues and games he’d won, some assorted sports paraphernalia in the corner by his closet, a soft grey rug underneath the king-sized bed which was adorned with soft white sheets and a light grey duvet, two nightstands with matching lamps, and on the far wall was a collage of pictures. As you looked at them, you realized most of them were pictures of the two of you. Some were clearly from when you were kids, but some were obviously more recent, although you realized with a pang that none of the photos were more recent than four years ago, around when you’d started to distance yourself because of Parjai.

It hit you then just how much of an idiot you’d been. You’d wasted so much time with someone who clearly didn’t trust or love you in the same way you’d loved him, especially considering how he’d acted tonight. You hadn’t realized Parjai’s insecurities ran quite that deep, but looking back it was painfully clear just how much he’d hated Paz Vizsla.

You were pulled from your self-deprecating thoughts by Paz returning, an ice pack wrapped in a kitchen towel clutched tightly in one hand. His eyes met yours, and some of the tension he’d been carrying in his shoulders seemed to melt away as he reassured himself seeing that you were safe. He came forward to kneel at the side of the bed where you were perched. With gentle hands, he pressed the ice pack over the swelling on your face, his free hand coming up to cup your jaw as you tried to shy away from the sudden shock of cold.

“Gotta let the ice do it’s job, rabbit,��� he murmured. “We’ve gotta get that swelling down.”

You winced, but nonetheless held still, letting Paz do his thing. Maker only knows how many, many bumps, bruises, broken bones and black eyes he’d suffered over the years, not just from hockey but his uncanny ability to always get into fights. You’d even helped him with some of the more painful injuries.

A comfortable silence settled over the two of you. Your eyes had fluttered shut, just basking in the soft attention and careful ministrations Paz was bestowing upon you. Paz kept one hand on the ice pack pressed gently over your eye, the other still cupping the side of your face, his thumb softly stroking your cheekbone. After awhile, Paz slowly took the ice pack away, and you opened your eyes to see him critically looking over your face. He seemed to be satisfied with the state of your face where Parjai had smacked you, and he sat back slightly on his heels.

“How does that feel, hmm?”

“Better.”

Silence descended again, but this time there was a tension floating in the air. It felt like Paz was just waiting for something to happen, but you didn’t know what he’d be waiting for. You were fine, absolutely fine. Sure, your partner of over three years had just assaulted you out of the blue, but honestly, you were-

“Rabbit?”

The sound of Paz’s voice, thick with worry and concern and love is what broke the dam. Your eyes filled with tears, and your breath hitched as you fought to not burst into sobs. You met Paz’s gaze, and you saw nothing but love and understanding.

“Oh, c’mere love,” he murmured, his hands gently tugging you off the bed and into his lap. That was the last straw, and you began to sob, deep and heartbroken sounds wrenching their way out of your throat as you clawed at his back, as though you could somehow pull him even closer to you. “That’s it, let it all out.”

“W-W-Why, Paz?” you cried, voice trembling as you tried to force the words out. “I-I loved him… w-why wou-would he–?” You couldn’t finish your sentence, your voice breaking as you sobbed harder. Paz’s arms were tight around you, holding you securely against his chest. His lips were pressed to your head, and the rumbling in his chest told you he was attempting to make soothing noises although you were unable to actually hear them over the sounds of your cries.

As your sobs began to slow you clutched tighter to Paz, suddenly afraid that he’d let you go now that you weren’t crying your eyes out. But to your great relief, he didn’t, merely sliding his arms more securely around you and pressing you closer against his chest.

“What am I gonna do?” You said, voice barely more than a whisper pressed against the fabric of his shirt. Even as you said the words, you didn’t really fully realize what they meant until they’d left your mouth. You pulled your head back to look at Paz with wide, teary eyes. “T-That’s my home, Paz, but he’s not gonna leave, I know he isn’t, and it’s not like my parents are gonna be any help cause they love him and are just gonna say I’m making this up for attention and-”

“Breathe.”

The order startled you out of the sprial you’d begun to descend into, and you locked eyes with Paz, mouth snapping shut at the commanding tone of his voice.

“I’ll tell you what you’re gonna do, rabbit. You’re gonna stay right here, with me. There’ll be a blizzard on Tatooine before I let you go back to that hut’uun di’kut. He doesn’t deserve you, and I refuse to let you delude yourself into thinking that any of the actions he took tonight are in any way acceptable.”

His stare was piercing, and you found yourself unable to look away, even as you listened to what he was saying. You opened your mouth, about to insist that you couldn’t just intrude on Paz and his home like that, but a finger pressed to your lips stopped you.

“Uh uh, I’m not finished.” Paz waited for you to acknowledge his words before he continued. “I’ve got more than enough space, and I don’t want him or your family trying to manipulate you into going back to him. You deserve better, so much better, than that.”

Tears began to fill your eyes, but for far different reasons this time. Paz wasn’t the kind of person to say things like this openly, not the type to blatantly lay his feelings out for all to see, but he was doing it for you.

“Y-You’ll really do that, Paz?” You asked, trying and mostly succeeding to prevent your voice from shaking. “You’ll let me stay?” Some emotion you didn’t recognize passed over his face, but it was quickly gone before you had a chance to analyze it.

“Course I will,” he said softly, voice quiet but no less steady. “You’ve always had a place with me, and you always will.”

Another tear trailed down your cheek. The words that escaped your mouth weren’t something you’d been intending to say, but that didn’t make them any less true.

“Love you, Paz.”

Paz’s eyelashes fluttered, his face going slack for a moment before he was able to focus on you again. “Oh, bunny,” he muttered, drawing you close again even as a shiver ran down your spine at the unexpected variation on his nickname foe you. He was tucking your face back into his neck as his hand stroked soothingly up and down his back. “My sweet bunny rabbit, I love you too. You’ll always have a place with me, no matter what.”

In that moment, in Paz’s arms on the floor of his guest bedroom, you knew things were gonna be alright.

[eraldkarma]

Ok so my hyper fixation on aphmau has sparked u again, I've decided to share my little Au with the world because my friends are getting tired of hearing about a minecraft roleplay from... oh god it's been that long? Jeez.

Anyway here is what I'm changing about the base cannon of mystreet before I throw in any crazy AUs like Ein being a decent person and living with Aph and Sylvanna during S2 of PDH or mystreet Dante getting stuck in MCD when everyone ditched him.

So I don't know I can fit my whole four years worth of brain rot in one post so we are going to start with the big blaring walking red flag himself Aaron.

What needs to change?

So so muck For starters, apparently, Aphmau needed to listen to sylvannas internet safety lectures a bit more because SHE STILL GIVES A STRANGER HER ACTUAL PHONE NUMBER!!! Sorry sorry this is a post about Aaron not how nieve aphmau is.

Anyway the guys 18 and is dating aphmau who is probably 14/15. This guy is going off to college in a year and aphmau still talks her stuffed cat and hides in a closet before her first day of high school.

Also at first I defended Aaron becouse I thought he just didn't know how old she was when they were strangers texting each other but they have a whole conversation about how nervous she is ABOUT HER FIRST DAY OF HIGH SCHOOL! Sorry again 😔 but if I was Aaron and I found out that the person I was talking to was actually a young girl who was probably fourteen or fifteen (younger actually since they've known each other and have been texting for atleast a couple months) and knowing that I am seventeen or eighteen would break it off and probably unfriend them not keep texting them about it and then start to ask them to reveal there real name.

Then there's the whole like ultima thing I know it wasn't actually written in until like season 4 of mystreet but I have a question 🤔 if darek knew what kind of life was in store for his son having the curse if he feels so bad about having to isolate his son if he knew the curse is a possibility why have him? Why risk have biological children? Or why not stop after milisasa since for some reason the curse only effects the males of a blood line. (You're telling Me the lycan family has never had an all female generation? Is the curse just dormant in females?) I'm changing that we need to change dark put him on the list right above Sylvanna but under KC.

There's also like why are you the alpha of the werewolf pack? Like I get it in highschool but after in season five? You don't know anything about the culture and Daniel ran the highschool pack for four years you don't have to be the alpha now? I genuinely think that was from Jason wanting his self insert to be the ' powerful hot alpha oc trademark do not steal'

So how an I gonna fix this?

Well we are going to start with Aaron's age, He's aphmaus age or well hes sixteen but so were Garothand Laurence. Plane and simple hes sixteen hes a softmore who was homeschooled is life becouse of his secret ultima curse. He does switch schools temporarily for S2 of PHD becouse dark was worried about how frequently Aaron was loosing control and how he still hadn't had a grasp on the curse, I'm gonna get to that hold tight.

That leads me into my next fix how Aph and Aaron met! They were put in the same online schooling class because Rachel is a bissness major, and Sylvanna is the type of mom to make you cry when she helps you study for your spelling bee (she loves her daughter but she does not have enogh patients to be a teacher.) Anyway they meet in the online class and find out they're both into the same things including a popular Online game and being lonely homeschooled kids latch onto each other, (I would imagine that Aaron went under a different name for the homeschooling program since he can't have the media tracking him down or asking questions y'know?) Then once they get to the age were they have phones reluctantly trade Instagram (aph made a separamount. Just for talking to Aaron and not posting pics because her mom follows her mian and Aaron makes his very first acount and only follows aph who goes by Shu on that account.)

Now to fix the lycann family.

Let's start with the curse, like I said makes no sense as to why Dark still had kids with Rachel biological when he Knew what his kids would go through. So the ultima curse effects all offspring male or female and it isn't usually as strong as Aaron's. In my head not being able to control there eyes was grown out of around five years old to seven years old and then there eyes stop turning red without wanting them to they still pose the danger it's just not that hard to control. It's like potty training they learn as they grow up. But for whatever reason Aaron never really grew out of the uncontrollable eyes thing, infact they were almost always red when he was young. This scared Darek who grew up on these stories about what will happen to them if the curse is ever discovered in they're family blood line, (which is why they still hide that they're werewolves.)

Aaron lived his life in solitude while millisa got to go out and experience the world she got to go the boarding schools in Germany and go with mom and dad on they're business trips while he stayed in they're house in falcon claw with either one of his parents or trusted staff. (This is not how millisa sees it BTW but we'll talk about her later.

I hope you enjoyed my brain dump.

[chaotic-and-mentally-ill]

So, Ducktales x Cult of the Lamb, am I right?

Ok it's not actually a Ducktales x Cult of the Lamb au, it's more of a weird Mickey and friends Cult of the Lamb au, but it mostly focuses on the duck triplets.

(Huey, Dewey, and Louie)

I, sadly, don't have a whole lot of art for this au yet mostly cause i'm still figuring out how to draw all the characters, so bare with me cause this is gonna be a long text post until I have art I can/am willing to share.

TLDR;

Cult of the Lamb au but make it Ducktales/Mickey and friends because i've been watching Ducktales and recently got back into Cult of the Lamb again. I'll mostly be focusing on Louie for this au sense I have the best grasp on his character as of right now, but others will show up.

Sense Louie is the main focus, Louie with be the one taking on the role of The Lamb for this au, meaning he will bare the crown.

(But that doesn't mean I haven't thought about the "what if" of if Huey or Dewey got it instead.)

Cult of the Duck

So, before I really get to this I need to explain one very important detail:

All the ducks? Yea, they're dead. All expect Louie of course. (or one of the other triplets but we'll get to that later). This, of course, means Donald, Della, Scrooge, his brothers, and frankly and other duck within the series are, well, gone.

Like the lamb, Louie as the last of his kind. There are no other ducks. He has no one to protect him, and no one to protect. He is completely and utterly alone.

So when he's sent to be sacrificed in order to prevent the "prophecy", there was not much he could do. Sure, it was absolutely terrifying! No one wants to be sacrificed, and he was damn well sure that "prophecy" was bogus!

"Come closer, little duckling, for I still need you. I will grant you back your life, in return, I ask for a cult in my name. Do we have a deal?"

But as he looked up to the Bishops, gods amongst the people, those who always knew what was right, those who should not be questioned, as all he could do was bow his head and squeeze his eyes tight, hearing his heart beat agents his ribs as he prayed.

But when no pain had arrived, curiosity got the best of him as he opened his eyes and looked up. It was so bright.

Something beckoned him forward, and he followed. A voice gently assured to him as he made his way forward.

And with new found life, Louie escapes with the help of one of Oswald's children, a previous vessel to The One Who Waits.

And the story continues as per usual from there with one of Oswald's kids taking the place of Ratau (at least until I think of someone better). The first follower to be saved by Louie would be Max, who after this point is pretty darn loyal.

Louie, at first, is pretty upset about having to work and build the cult in the first place. He wasn't used to doing so much hard work, nor did he enjoy it very much. But, it was better then basically every thing else he'd been through, so he'd learn to tolerate it.

After some time of going on crusades (which, frankly, he hates more), he'd get a pretty good flow going between growing the cult and relaxation. He'd upgrade quickly, recruit (or as he'd call it; "Sweet talk") people, and find ways to make it so everyone could care for themselves so he'd have more time to relax.

Occasionally he'd go on crusades, but only if he absolutely needed to. (Food, supplies, gold, stuff like that.) He'd avoid the Bishops as long as he physically could, only caving when he didn't have a choice but to face them.

Sure, it be a heavy learning curve at first (learning to be selfless and what not for the sake of the cult), but eventually he'd be a pretty decent leader. His favorite days are when the whole cult (also known as his "community") would take one big break and not work at all, but he also enjoyed the days where everyone would hand him gold and/or do all the work for him. Because man does he hate having to do hard work. And yes, he's still the greedy, money loving guy we all know and love.

He'd often have Max be the one looking over the "community" when ever he leaves. Max would also probably be the tax collector and such considering he was the first follower and is the most loyal. Him and Max are close.

I can also see Louie marring many people, for tax purposes of course.

But what about the other 2? What would happen if they were given the crown instead?

Well, the sacrifice process may as well go the same. Oswald kid still takes Ratau place, Max still being the first follower and being loyal beyond belief, but that's likely where the similarities would end.

Dewey, being the prideful and adventures guy he is, would absolutely LOVE crusades. Sure, he'd love his cult and would enjoy being around them, but he would be nowhere NEAR where Louie would be in growth in the same time frame. He'd spend far to much time doing crusades and fighting monsters or even the bishops. Tbh I can see him taking out the most amount of bishops in the shortest amount of time out of all his brothers (with Louie taking the longest).

He'd probably come back to a hungry, angry followers because he'd be gone so long thanks to his crusades, which would inevitably lead to a LOT of damage control after. Would he ever learn? Probably not.

That's basically all I got for now, still a lot of stuff to work through and think about, but it's a neat idea that's been plaguing my mind for the past few days.

Huey on the other hand would spend an equal amount of time on crusades and with his cult. He'd most likely have everything under control from the get go. Plus, he now has a healthy way of letting out "The Duke of Messes" via crusades. Occasionally he'd have to preform damage control, especially with any new stubborn followers, but for the most part everyone is happy and capable of functioning orderly with or without him (mostly due to his schedules). Let's be honest, he's just glad people are finally listening to him.

His cult would probably embrace nature to it's finest, tents and all. It would probably be more put together and more advance then Dewey in most regards, but not nearly as advanced as Louie.

In other words: Louie is basically running a really weird town, Huey is running a camp, and Dewey is uh- doing his best.

[never-forget-viva-la-pluto]

just so you know, you can be sued for stealing a cat, especially if its collared and microchipped. dont be a vile human being. have some compassion. maybe that persons cat is just an escape artist.

maybe if someone stole your pet, youd be fine with it, idk if you just let your pets go when youre tired of them. idk you.

but not having compassion is actually disgusting. do better.

Ok let's break this down since I'm going to, probably incorrectly, assume that your intentions are good and you are just woefully misinformed. For the sake of clarity, when I say indoor cat, I mean 100% indoor, and when I say outdoor cat, I mean a cat that is regularly let outside without a leash and isn't a feral or working barn cat.

1) "You can be sued for stealing a cat, especially if it's collared or microchipped".

Okay, so if you microchip an outdoor cat, you have wasted your money. Microchips are for finding your cat should it go missing. If an outdoor cat goes missing, you better hope someone picked it up and took it in bc 9/10 if your outdoor cat goes missing it's dead. Full stop. Hawks, coyotes, dogs, other cats, cars, eagles, wolves, cougars, etc all see that cat as food and cats may be OP for their size but a pack of coyotes whose territory is being shrunk by the day will find that cat very tasty. And in case you are confused, coyotes don't care if you sue them, they will eat the microchip and leave the bloodied collar with the bones.

But let's say you are worried about me getting sued, my response is: ok????? You seem to be under the impression that I am taking cats for a selfish reason and i am definitely not. I would do this for the cat's benefit, with no worries for my own. I'll get sued, I'll gladly take the court case if it means they keep their pets inside. But how would they know I took their cat? They wouldn't because I don't let my cats outside ever. They won't see the cat again and it won't be because a coyote ripped it to peices while it was taking a shit. And it would be a lot harder for them to sue a coyote, so I've done them a favor once again.

2) "Don't be a vile human being. Have some compassion. Maybe their cat is just an escape artist."

Ok, that's on me for not making myself clear. If a cat is missing, and there are posters, online posts, text psa, etc I will see them. I actually follow a local missing pet group that alerts me to every pet in my area that's gone missing, and each includes the info about the pet and if they are indoor or not. When I have time I go and look for them around my town. But again, not far from the feral cat colonies is where the coyotes run so I have yet to be successful. If a cat owner has stated that their cat has escaped and are indoor cats, then I am on the streets, in forests, marshes, behind malls, etc, to return that missing family member. But cats are the equivalent of a toddler in terms of ability to navigate life, and it is definitely neglect to leave your toddler outside unattended.

Moreover, there is a bitch who lives near me who buys kittens, doesn't get them fixed, and when they get out she doesn't even bother to look for them and I have rescued several of those and their subsequent kittens(many of which did not survive even after given professional care bc the mothers were still kittens themselves and can't care for their babies). That bitch has been reported many times and guess what the cops do??? That's right, what cops do best, which is jack shit. I have spent months doing tnr just cleaning up her messes so you have no right to tell me I am without compassion or that I'm vile. I had a cat who was an escape artist, but I at least made sure she was fixed in case she ever got out(she only ever got out once and after I reinforced the screens on our porch).

But again, if your outdoor cat goes missing, what good would returning them do? The cat will just go outside again and face the same shit that caused them to dissappear in the first place. It's actual insanity and those people shouldn't be cat owners(personally I think they should be charged with neglect but whose counting?).

3) "Maybe if someone stole your pet you'd be fine with it. Idk if you just let your pets go when you're tired of them. Idk you. But not having compassion is actually disgusting. Do better."

Okay here is where you lost me.

No one would be able to steal my pet unless they literally broke into my place, because again my cats NEVER go outside. And advocating for pet owners to keep their cats indoors only is something that is vital to the cat's health and the environment, so that is literally the opposite of letting your cat go when tired of them. I don't know where you got that from and honestly I don't care because, no, you don't know me and if your reading comprehension wasn't piss poor you would have seen in the tags you are referencing that I HAVE LITERALLY NEVER DONE WHAT YOU ARE DESCRIBING BC I LIVE IN AN APARTMENT WITH A PET LIMIT. ✨️ I've never taken a cat off the street and kept it!✨️ I can't, or I'll get evicted! Ive fostered for a short period but ive never taken in a cat from the street. But make no mistake I would if I could.

My compassion is why I try to remain educated and informed about why it matters to keep your cat inside. I am compassionate toward the 3 month old cat that it's owner let out in the dead of winter, unfixed, that gave birth to 4 kittens under our car, all premature and 1 was a stillbirth. She was too young to be a mother and her instincts never kicked in. She didn't know to lick away the umbilical cord, she didn't know how to feed them, she didn't know what to do and even with my sister, my mother, my coworker, a volunteer foster, and 3 vet techs and a veterinarian doctor, none of the kittens lived more than 2 days.

I am compassionate towards them. I am compassionate toward the owner of a cat I trapped, fostered, and took to the vet, who after adopting this cat, fell on hard times and when her card declined at the register, she put all of her human food back and just bought cat food(I offered to pay for it but she refused).

So maybe read what you have written and before you hit send, maybe do some research. Maybe think about how you would feel if some stranger just barely read what you put in a tag and decided to tell them they are vile and without compassion while in the same message saying that you don't know them or how they treat others.

Good on you for not turning on anon and saying what you believe with your whole ignorant chest, but still

Do better.

[capnhanbers]

Ok this is stupid but I thought it would be funny to comment.

Everytime I read your fixed post I saw the *tch* on the beginning of the text I thought it was like a scoff lol

And I was like: " damn I feel owned how cool"

How I imagined the tone:

After like 2 years I realized that maybe the tch is for a walkie talkie or something and was like: "woah I feel like a part of the gang how cool"

But nowmy mind is in disarray

Pls tell me the truth, what's the meaning of that singular word I can't sleep at night anymore (also because I'm rereading joat but thats not the point here)

SORRY. THIS IS AMAZING. I DON'T EVEN WANT TO ANSWER TRUTHFULLY BECAUSE THE VISUAL OF ME ANIME-BOY "tch"-ING EVERYONE IS TOO AMAZING AND RECONTEXTUALIZES EVERYTHING I'VE EVERY POSTED LMAO

so yeah i meant it in a sasuke way, t hanks for reaching out

wait, edit, wait, actually i just remembered that i'm referencing a joke i made right before posting the pinned

[captorcorp]

ok im rambling about my thoughts on tadc bc i have many (long post)

ok first of all general character opinions with walk cycle gifs to break up the walls of text (gifs from here):

caine: the silly guy... literally why red recommended this to me was the digital world setting + an ai character and they know me too well because every ai character is my favorite by default. i'm very excited to see what we end up learning about him throughout the series, also i absolutely love that he was inspired by AM from ihnmaims but 'if he was a silly little guy instead of fueled by hate' or whatever the creator said about him. his weird head design is really creative though it does discomfort me a bit sometimes, something about the combination of eyes and teeth;;; still think he's kinda tumblr sexyman coded besides the teeth head but most people are too distracted with objectifying jax so he gets a pass

pomni: she's cool!! it's hard to form a solid view of her so far bc most of what we've seen is her being understandably overwhelmed with and O.O at everything, but she seems like she'll be a pretty interesting protag - i liked them showing her moments of weakness with leaving ragatha behind too. that being said i think she stretched out the 'omg this isn't real what's going on???' freaking out bits way too long but that's just a personal gripe with that sorta stuff in media like this. if i was isekai'd into the digital circus i would simply be so chill about it after only 5 minutes of panic. rip to pomni but i'm different /j oh yeah also a fun character design even though i don't really like clowns she's just very Shaped

jax: motherfucker. jk i actually don't feel that strongly about him i just find him slightly annoying at times. at first i thought 'oh ok he's a loveable asshole yeah he's kinda entertaining so he's cool' and then he just ended up being more asshole than loveable. also thought he was sexyman coded and was unfortunately right this time ^^; apparently he's the creator's fave too?? so hopefully he doesn't get away with too much stuff without consequences, or he's gotta actually get some positive traits yknow. however i do love his design with the big grin and semicircle eyes and etc, very cartoony and fun. if the controversial blorbo poll was still open i would submit him bc it seems like the fandom is split on him. but also kinda tired of him from fandom overexposure

ragatha: she's really nice and i want to be her friend - looking forward to seeing where her character goes in the future though, bc we've only seen her being polite and forgiving and sweet and etc, and i think she should be allowed to kill people /hj. it was cool seeing her get glitched too even if ;-;. i was never into raggady ann stuff like i've heard the creator is but her design is still cute too, even if less surreal than some of the others ^^

bubble: keep forgetting this guy exists, not a huge fan tbh? gets some points for being another ai though. looks like a chain chomp. i do like that they're able to be popped and respawn though, that's a fun quirk. the scene with them cleaning up after pomni is p gross

kinger: i barely thought about this guy during the pilot tbh so was surprised to see the fandom all adoring him. kinda just reminds me of fear from inside out. but actually overexposure of him from tumblr and other people enjoying him kinda made him grow on me a bit (reverse of what has been happening w jax). he's pretty cool to me now. i can't believe fandom already gave him a tragic backstory with that queen chesspiece we see crossed out...

zooble: another character i didn't really think about, though i like their design and detachable body parts and such. i also couldn't really get a good sense of their personality tbh? i think they just need more screentime honestly

gangle: i wanted to like her a lot more than i did when i first saw her bc her design is very fun, with the ribbon-based body and comedy/tragedy masks and etc. but ended up not getting too interested in her as a character. but i think she's in the same category as zooble where she needs more screen time and character development though? bc she still seems like she could be cool if her personality gets explored more

thoughts on the overall pilot:

ngl i have a whole bunch of gripes about it despite also rotating it in my mind. i feel like a lot of the characters are a little 1-dimensional currently, even if i do find those dimensions appealing for the most part, hoping they get more characterization in the actual main season though. also most of the pacing/jokes didn't really land for me or felt a bit forced, though there were some good bits like king's hands following zooble's head, pomni opening doors to surreal scenes like the bathing mannequin, jax getting choked by zooble's hand, the randomly generated 5-letter names, also any of the cartoony imagery gags like the censor bars or cartoon dust cloud of gloinks.

however, overall i enjoyed it still!!! all of the animation has so much charm and character to it, surreal semi-human character designs are always great, it's very colorful and bright and reminiscent of old early 2000s activity center games, etc. it gives me kinda 'welcome home' vibes, with both being bright and cheery exteriors meant to mimic old media style that mask darker stuff under the surface. also the general plot of like. people being trapped in this weird setting and forced to participate in fucked up (?) games by some mysterious mastermind (well we know who the mastermind is but not much about him) while struggling to escape or understand why they've been trapped here... very common plot but always is intriguing to me. also of course [holds digital worlds and ais in my hands] my beloved tropes...

thoughts on the fandom:

i am. concerned. that there seems to be an overlap with the h*zb*n h*t*l fandom;; but also i don't know anything about that show's status besides like. callout posts about the creator and people complaining about the pacing/character designs and etc. so i don't really know if all of the hh fans is bc it's like, also an animated series that appeals to the same audience? or if it's going to be too similar or inspired from it or also have a problematic creator somehow 😔

otherwise it's whatever, maybe a bit on the :I side bc i already saw someone make a y*nd*r* jax imagine post and it scared me hjkdfs. otherwise mostly just usual fandom stuff i think? dunno.

actually nevermind i just got back from twitter and apparently the creator is already feeling :/ about their own fandom and apparently people on tiktok are hcing some fucked up stuff about jax so. can fans be normal for 2 seconds please.

[golmac]

Inform Basics: practice with tables

Tables can be intimidating, but they are great for handling complex situations with text. Since writing and printing text is my whole jam, I've pushed myself to use tables as much as possible. My first ever table turned out to be the central tracking system for magic in Repeat the Ending!

I think I had some beginner's luck there--I never needed to change/fix it later. We'll use it as a model for the next few posts. I've made a couple of things nicer for this discussion, but the core functionality is unchanged.

Let's Make a Table!

A table, as a lot of you probably know, is a way to store and present information. It is a grid organized by rows and columns. If you've ever seen a spreadsheet program like Excel, you can visualize the way rows and columns can be used to arrange information sensibly.

In Inform 7, a table has very specific formatting conventions that must be followed:

It begins with the text "table of [insert your title here]" alone on a single line of code.

On the very next line, the names of the columns must be typed and separated by a single press of the TAB key.

The next line(s) contain(s) data. Once again, columns are separated by the TAB key. Note that actual empty entries are not permitted. Instead, populate so-called "blank" fields with two hyphen characters (without quotation marks).

Here's an image of a very paired-back version of the table from RTE:

In some cases, we need to tell Inform 7 what a column of data is. More on this next time. For now, just be aware that I've got this in my code to explain what the first column, "siphontype," contains.

siphontype is a kind of value. the siphontypes are defined by the table of diagnoses.

There's no magic to any of these names. They're just what seemed right at the time.

Some simple applications

What can we do with it? Without getting up to anything fancy, we can count the rows. Inform 7 will count almost anything if you use the phrase "number of [almost anything with a numbered quantity]". I'll make a custom action, frobbing, for these experiments.

frobbing is an action applying to nothing. understand "frob" as frobbing. carry out frobbing: say "The number of rows in the table of diagnoses is [number of rows in the table of diagnoses]."

Output:

>frob The number of rows in the table of diagnoses is 3.

We can also dump the entire contents of the table. "Repeat through," which we've used on lists, can also be used to apply an operation/action/etc. to multiple rows in a table.

repeat through the table of diagnoses: say "[siphontype entry]: [diagstring entry]"

OK. Since "siphontype" and "diagstring" are column names, Inform 7 will walk through each row, printing the relevant entries.

What does that look like?

>frob The number of rows in the table of diagnoses is 3. TInert: At the moment, I am not empowered by any sort of entropic magic.TPsychic: [REDACTED]TLucky: Feeling lucky?

Yikes. That's pretty ugly. Let's get that text cleaned up.

carry out frobbing: say "[bold type]The number of rows in the table of diagnoses is [number of rows in the table of diagnoses].[roman type][paragraph break]"; repeat through the table of diagnoses: say "[siphontype entry]: [diagstring entry][line break]"

The main features here are bold text for the first line, a blank line between the bold text and the table dump, and line breaks after every printed row. It winds up looking like this:

The number of rows in the table of diagnoses is 3.

TInert: At the moment, I am not empowered by any sort of entropic magic. TPsychic: [REDACTED] TLucky: Feeling lucky?

I think that's enough for today! Next time, we'll dig deeper into tables, using the same bit from RTE as an example. As always, feel free to AMA

Code used in this post:

[hms-no-fun]

apologies if you’ve written this somewhere before, but in a couple of these #sarahposts you refer to a retcon you made in gf1, what was the change?

oh yeah! i don't think i've really extensively documented this anywhere, so i might as well do so here. let's start with the boring shit and cover the history, then i'll give you the full breakdown of what changed.

so when i wrote gf1, i had no sense that i would ever want to go beyond the realm of this one fic. but i DID have this idea of "the ultimate ultimate self," an entity that contains all selves which is never mentioned in homestuck. funny that THAT’S my first big canon divergence, rooted so deep in the philosophical. obviously the big existential kick of gf1 is this idea that retcon is somehow eroding john's connection to that ultimate ultimate self, or at least to his ultimate self generally. the extent to which this is TRUE remains to be seen, john/june is never an objective arbiter of their own subjective existence, but it is an important idea for the series nevertheless.

the other key ingredient is that for a long time i planned on doing my own audio drama adaptation of godfeels (as i mentioned at the end of this video). obviously i never got around to doing this myself and eventually abdicated responsibility to the far more capable hands of the podfeels team, but i did get as far as adapting godfeels 1 for a podfic (which is what they used for podfeels 1). so i took that opportunity to modify a few things to bring gf1 more in line with how the series’ cosmology had evolved.

RIGHT SO, what are the differences? well, they're almost if not entirely exclusive to the narration. and right from the start, we have a big addition:

[left is my original draft, right is the published version]

when i wrote gf1 i put ZERO thought into how long after homestuck proper it took place. remember that i wrote and released this before the epilogues came out, so it was only later that i adopted the timeline and framework of the epilogues. if anything i wrote gf1 thinking they were closer to *my* age at the time, meaning like 27-28, which might have caused me problems down the line. but this addition is also important because (as i rant about in this recent post) i think it's easier to swallow questionably in-character dialogue when you know that this is six years and change after homestuck. i still don't think the overall timeline gets emphasized enough throughout... honestly ALL of godfeels before chapter 8 lmao. looking back i was shockingly negligent in this respect.

what else?

lol ok sure

this was a pretty substantial addition owing to the fact that back then i really wasn't interested in writing anyone but the betas, and even then i mostly just wanted to write about june and jade. obviously that changed, so i wanted to do a better job of setting up dirk's murky relationship with june. ditto with june and terezi's murky romantic tensions.

this is The Big One. i’m not even sure i could tell you the precise significance of every change here, beyond the obvious one. would you believe that this was before i thought of X as a distinct character? but i still had the sense that the antagonism of the third person narration here was rooted perspectivally, and it’s my opinion that john at the pits of his worst depression is closest to X, the part of himself that judges his every action against the assumed perfection of all his friends. after june comes out and takes charge of her identity and Things Happen, i see X as reflexively turning their judgment outwards (though still with a core of self-resentment), which is how we eventually get the circus egotistica.

big changes here obv

some simplification of text here plus some additions. is the narration here describing jade’s voice breaking through john’s dissociation, or is it something more cosmic? either could be true...

minor alterations here, plus a probably too-cute stinger banging the drum that This Is An Ongoing Series Now Actually

and as far as i can tell, that’s it! very minor changes for the most part, but it’s the little details that get you every time :)

[kirby-the-gorb]

reply roundup!

thank you to @cherrycreamsicle for adding an [image description] to a recent kirb! I did see the note in your about asking that people add the descriptions to their posts, I have added it as alt text. I am aware of the fact that this does not meet all needs, and do have plans to address this on a blog-wide scale. once I'm actually able. (conflict of needs, unfortunately.)

and thank you to everyone who sent well wishes and stuff while we were waiting for the news/when the news turned out to be bad/while my wife was in the hospital/etc <3 I saw them when they were relevant and I appreciated them. (and I still appreciate them now it just feels silly to try to respond to them directly now) (and I love how the responses to [little kirbo] are pretty split between "oh no :(" and "Give Him Grease lol")

on [the last roundup] @macro-microcosm said: i don't remember when I made that reblog but I think things might be better! i had a nice birthday weekend at least <3

good! at least it's something.

on [the last roundup] @ceylonsilvergirl said: Hope the roundup means you’re feeling a little better

it basically never does but I appreciate your optimism! (although I am actually doing better right now this time but that is unrelated to whether or not I would do a reply roundup, it just means it's not as difficult.)

on [abacus] @ceylonsilvergirl said: NINETEEN HUNDRED!? HOLY CRAP! Well done

there are so many Little Guys in my computer, someday I will figure out what to do with them

on [-_-] @ceylonsilvergirl said: just a moment. just a moment to breathe. all you need to do right now is breathe. it’s difficult, but you are going to be difficulter. I’m going to cry and take a nap and get mad, then I’ll get back up and try again. it’s ok to give up, I give up all the time! but then I go back and try again later. sometimes you just need a break to let your mind and body rest, and you can try a new angle. running head first into this wall isn’t working, maybe there’s a way to go over the wall. our bullets aren’t working! keep shooting!

yeah, yeah, that's definitely true. sometimes you can't necessarily find an opening to rest, but whenever you can it's almost always gonna be a constructive thing to do. and giving up isn't inherently a bad thing! people call it "giving up" when they stop a bad habit, too. (there was a really interesting article I read a while ago about how giving up is kind of an important part of being disabled, not just because you have to cope with missing out on things but also because seeking treatment is hard and painful! sometimes it's not actually constructive to keep trying! and you need a break or a breakthrough and it's better to just. not. for a while. I've definitely had times like that too.)

on [box] @chaosinanutshell said: that should be me in that box 😐 hope you've been well >:)))

I have not but thank you! sitting in a box can be a comforting passtime but don't hurt your knees!

@vincentus asked: do you know what platform squeak squad or amazing mirror was released for?? i cant be bothered to look it up :")

you almost definitely got tired of waiting by now lol but squeak squad was DS and amazing mirror was GBA! (I played both of them when they were new, the battery in our first copy of amazing mirror tragically died after a little while and we had to get a second one so we could actually save the game)

[wowowwild]

Klavier receives a Facebook notification. A friend request?

yeah idk. They play chess on Facebook bc it came to me in the middle of the night. They absolutely continue post story.

After staring at his paperwork for a good 20 minutes, Klavier finally has a reason to be distracted when his phone chimes. A facebook notification? Honestly he hadn't posted on Facebook for a long time, but it was the only social media Blackquill and Edgeworth had, plus he found some friends from Germany and one of his ex band members posted the most adorable pictures of his kid, so he'd decided to keep it.

Oh. A friend request. From Phoenix Wright. Well that was a good thing, right? Ok. Sure. Request accepted.

Another notification. A message.

PW: You play chess? KG: A bit.

A bubble popped up that said "Play chess with me!" and presumably if he clicked it, he would then be playing chess with Phoenix Wright… Ok. Yeah, ok. He'd played a game or two with Edgeworth. Before that… it had been a while.

Of course he was at work. Herr Chief might not be excited about his employees playing Facebook chess at work. Then again Herr Wright was also at work and held great sway over the Chief Prosecutor.

Starting the game, then. Herr Wright had already made the first move, so he took his. The next move was made quickly. The game was quick with Klavier losing spectacularly. He wasn't particularly disturbed by this, chess wasn't really his game. Still he got another message.

PW: Good game. You'll get better if you keep practicing. KG: Thank you. I'll admit chess isn't really my game, but I've been told it allows a window into your opponent's thought process. PW: Kristoph told me the same thing. Never could figure that part out, though. KG: I see. PW: Again?

Another game bubble popped up. It was incredibly awkward, but he couldn't find a reason not to, besides being at work which he had completely disregarded already and thus could no longer offer him an out. With no plans to actually do his work any time soon, actually doing something was better than doing nothing.

After this game he got another message.

PW: You're a quick study. I can see how you became a prosecutor so young. KG: Thank you. It was hard work but I was fortunate. PW: Yeah, I had a bit of a late start, since I was a theater major first. It was really difficult, but my mentor helped me through it. KG: Frau Fey, correct? PW: Yeah, Mia. She was great. Maya and I miss her everyday. She would have liked you though I think. KG: That is high praise. PW: Another?

They played another, Klavier not doing particularly better than the previous games.

PW: Thanks for humoring me. No one here plays and I need to practice. KG: I do not mind. It has been a welcome distraction. PW: I know all about those. Usually it's Trucy. She's really something and always looking to improve. I'm really proud of her. KG: She is quite talented form what I've seen. PW: The best there is. Up for more?

Frustratingly, another game bubble popped up? What was Wright playing at? Besides chess, obviously. Klavier lost this game, too, though he did get Wright into check.

PW: Almost had me that time! I've got to watch out. You should ask Edgeworth to play. He'll be impressed. KG: I appreciate your words and the games, but I have to admit I don't understand why this is happening.

Klavier watched a text bubble with bouncing dots appear and disappear several times before the message came through.

PW: Sorry, I'm not very good at this. Apollo would tell me to stop being a cryptic old bastard. I'm trying to say you should come to Trucy's show this weekend. And the next time Athena tries to get you to celebrate with us you should. And if you ever want to bother Apollo at the office you should. Please get him out of here for all of our sakes. KG: I believe I am beginning to understand. This is you telling me I am forgiven? PW: This is me telling you there's nothing to forgive. Like I said before, I knew Kristoph, too. You were a kid. I was never mad at you. Well I might have been a little mad at first, but I knew it wasn't your fault. I think I was mad at myself and you were mad at yourself and really we should both be pissed at Kristoph. If you want to have this conversation in person, you know where to find me. KG: I think that would be best. PW: Sounds good. One more game? KG: That would be amenable. PW: You prosecutors and your fancy words.