#ok tags r not a place to talk to myself

[dre6ming]

Quit smoking

Pairing: Austin Butler x reader

Warning: smoking, arguing, cursing, crying

Word count: 1.5k

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“Hi babe!” Austin says, kissing my cheek, his pillowy lips touching my warm skin. I breathe in deeply, having missed him for the day, but that feeling going away too soon and being replaced by anger. Though he feels me tensing and my attitude change, he chooses for now to just walk past me, his hand caressing my waist. “So how was your day darling?” He asks, hanging his jacket in the coat hanger, already staring to unlace his boots. “Fine.” I say shrugging my shoulders, picking at my nail polish, nervous about the conversation I want to start. I mean he has to know he reeks of cigarettes and he has to know I’ve sniffed it on him.

I don’t care about smoking much, it never bothered me in other people, but when it comes to him, it’s drives me nuts, because I want him to be healthy. I need to cool off, I can’t let anger get the best of right now, I have to approach this lightly, so my best move is to turn around on my heels without answering his question and going straight to the bedroom. “Y/n?!” Austin shouts behind me, confused probably by why I would just leave him standing there in the hallway. “Y/n?” He calls after me again, but I don’t respond, putting my headphones on and getting back to the book I was reading before he came.

I feel the vibration of his angry stomping towards the bedroom and I take a deep breath trying to calm myself down. “Y/n? What’s wrong baby?” He sits on the bed, placing a hand on my book to move it down a bit so he could get a good look at my face. “No outside clothes on the bed!” I scold him, motioning for him to get off the bed and already, starting on changing the duvet. “Y/n babe, what the hell? Are you ok?” Austin asks, brushing a hand through his hair.

“Fine, everything is fine!” I say, my voice getting louder than I wanted it to. “Y/n?!” He speaks low, careful, watching me react. “Stop saying my name over and over again, Austin.” I sigh, taking the duvet over to the wash room to start washing it. I reach for the detergent but I’m too short, so Austin comes behind me, grabbing the bottle for me and handing it to me. “Thanks!” I say, a bit more sarcastically than I’ve anticipated. “You know I don’t appreciate you having an attitude with me, without saying what’s wrong.” Austin points out, as he places the bottle back in the shelf. I rub my forehead, feeling a headache coming in, my patience snapping. “And I don’t appreciate you making promises to me that you can keep.” I throw back, storming out of the washroom, going to the balcony to get some fresh air. “That’s not fair, I’m not, what are you talking about?”

Oh the nerve he as to act like he doesn’t actually know what it is I’m saying. “You don’t know? Really?” I shout, going back in, straight for his jacket and fishing out the packet of cigarettes from the pocket I know he keeps them in, throwing it at him. He catches it before it hit his face. “Baby it was just one, you can check!” He defends, opening the pack to show me, but I don’t care to see it.

“One today, one tomorrow, then is a pack then you’re dead! And I’m stuck here, saying over and over again “I told him he’d die!”” Tears prick my eyes and wipe them away frustrated, I hate when angry cry. Austin’s face softens, and he puts a hand in his hip, placing the cigarette pack in the garbage bin by the door. Coming my way he stands in front of me, his hands brush along my arms, but I’m having none of it, brushing past him. Austin throws his hands up in frustration, huffing. “Oh come on, this is ridiculous!” He screams.

“No ridiculous is me having to have the same conversation over and over again. It’s your health I’m concerned about!” I poke my finger at his chest and on of his hands grabs my wrist to stop me. “Stop that, it’s annoying.” Austin says and every logical part of my brain goes dead silent. “Yeah cause I’m annoying” I twist his words immediately regretting for acting childish, but there’s no going back now. “Don’t don’t do that, twist my words make me sound like a fucking asshole! You said it it’s my health, what do you care!” Austin’s face gets red, anger quickly getting to him. He passes a frustrated hand through his golden locks of hair, pulling at roots. “For fucks sake am I asking for too much to just come home to a quiet apartment after a long day?” Something clicks in my head and there’s this burst of sadness in me. He hates me, I made him hate me. I did it. I ruined it, me and all my blabbering, my stupid mouth.

My mouth opens and closes, my feet feel cemented to the floor, but I move them somehow, going to the bathroom, wiping away my tears in the way there. “Y/n I’m sorry, hey hey!” He catches up to me, placing a hand on my shoulder, looking at my face, but I try to hide. “Don’t!” I beg, sniffing, my fists shaking at my sides with shame and anger. Shame cause I’ve caused all this, anger cause he can’t keep a promise and I can’t make myself to care less. “Come here!” He says, pulling me to his chest, burying my face in the soft cotton of his shirt. It’s comforting for a second, but the I breathe and the smell of smoke makes me want to gag. I push against him and free myself of his hold. “Shower!” I say, going on the balcony and sitting down on the lounge chair, looking at the blurry sky line.

I don’t know how long I’m here for, but by now the tears have dried on my cheeks and the atmosphere has gotten a bit chilly for my summer outfit, but I’m not ready to get back in the apartment and face Austin. I’m lost in my chain of thought, when I hear the door open, then Austin comes into sight, carrying a tray. “Truce?” He asks, showing me the treats he bought. “Maybe.” I grumble, taking the hot cup of cocoa. “Careful it’s hot!” He says, handing me a cookie. “You understand why I was mad?” I ask, sipping at the drink. “I guess, I mean, I do, but it’s just I didn’t mean to do it. I just sometimes feel like I need to have just one.”

I sigh, closing my eyes. “Ok, what if we make a deal? Hm?” I propose, eating some of the cookie. “Ok let’s hear it.” Austin says, drinking some of his cocoa and rubbing my leg. “I don’t want to fight over this anymore, I just want you to try and smoke as little as possible, that’s the deal, just try! Don’t promise you’ll stop, just try to reduce it.” I propose, smiling softly. Austin seems like he thinks about it for a minute, sipping slowly from his cup, obviously dragging this to get a stab at me. “Ok, it’s a deal, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you!” He rubs my knee, his hand going up my thigh, raising goosebumps on my spine.

“I’m sorry too, I promise to get better at talking these things out.” I say, putting my cup on the side table. Austin chuckles and grabs my hips, pulling me on his lap, to straddle him. I play with his hair, smiling at him, leaning down to kiss him. Our lips dance together, soft and wet. His hands wonder up my body and under my shirt, cupping my breasts over my soft bralette. I moan into his mouth, pressing down on him, feeling him grow hard under me. “Now that we are all made up, think I could get lucky tonight?” Austin asks, making me burst out laughing. “Yyyeah yes, sure.” I laugh, giggling as he gets up with me wrapped around him, as he walks into the apartment and straight into the bedroom, how cocoa long forgotten, just like our argument.

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[w2soneshots]

Guernsey -W2S

words: 0.8k+

warnings: none.

summary: you meet Harry’s parents for the first time.

notes: I finally wrote something I like and it wasn’t a request🫢. I hope you enjoy lovelys🫶🏼.

Liked by wroetoshaw and 501,348 others

y/username: umm hey😉

Tagged: @faithloisak @eatsides

-comments-

faithloisak: beautiful beautiful girl

-> y/username: 💋💋

y/nfanpage21: the last pic!!🤭

eatsides: supportive queen🍗❤️

user15327094: OMFG IS THAT W2S??

user89130243: herb what r u doin here

Me and Harry have been together for almost five months now. We met through instagram, he followed me, liked my posts, then finally sent me a message. Since then we've been inseparable, texting every day and it feels like I practically live in his apartment since he doesn't want me to leave, saying “no… don’t go, just one more night?” Along with his best puppy dog eyes. I get along great with Harry's friends, especially Tobi since he was so welcoming. After meeting Faith at Tobi's birthday party we became quite close and have had many great conversations. I feel as though I can always go to her if I need someone to speak to or if I just need some advice.

Today Harry's talking me to Guernsey to meet his family for the first time. We woke up early and threw on a comfy outfit then headed to the airport. When we arrived we went through security and waited around for a little while before actually getting onto the plane. After just over an hour we were landing in Guernsey.

y/username just posted a new story!

"Oh my god, this place is fucking beautiful." I stared out the plane window in awe of the island. Harry chuckled at my giddiness. I'm so excited to meet his family, unfortunately Rosie is at uni and Josh is on holiday so ill have to wait a little longer to meet them but ill get to see his parents. He's met mine multiple times but our schedules have never been clear enough to spend a weekend here, so when we got the chance we immediately booked the flights.

Once we'd collected our bags and were making our way out of the airport we spotted Harry's dad stood leaning against his car. I took a deep breath. "You have nothing to worry about. They're gonna love you." Harry whispered into my ear. I looked up at him "ok let's go."

"Hello, nice to finally meet you. I'm Harry's dad but you can call me Adrian." He spoke in a very cheery voice. My nerves instantly calmed. "Hi, I'm y/n." I introduced myself. "Yes I know. Harry don't stop talking about you." He chuckled. I looked over to Harry, his face was bright red and he'd gotten all embarrassed. "Does he now?" I teased him. Adrian laughed once again "well we better get going, Sue is desperate to meet you."

When we arrived outside of Harry's home my jaw dropped, it's practically a mansion. We hopped out of the car, Adrian and Harry grabbed our bags and I headed inside to introduce myself to his mum. Harry told me that the door was unlocked so I pressed down the handle and pushed it open. I was immediately bombarded by Herb, who seemed very excited to see me. I'd spent quite a lot of time with the dog since Harry had brought him with him back to London a few times.

"Hello! Come on in." Harry's mum Sue pulled me into a hug. I smiled "It's so nice to meet you." She walked me through into the kitchen "Are you hungry? I just made lunch." My eyes lit up "I'm starving and that smells amazing!" She smiled "great." Harry burst into the room seconds later and came to stand next to me. "You hungry Harry?" His mum asked. Harry nodded. "Alright, food will be ready in ten. Why don't you to go and get settled in." Harry gave me a quick toor of the house then showed me to his room. "See I told you they'd love you."

After lunch Harry wanted to take me on a walk to show me one of his favourite places on the island. So we put on our coats and shoes then he put a harness on Herb. "Come on let's go, Herbert!" Harry shouted and seconds later Herb came running towards us. I opened the door. "So where are we going?" I asked as we walked down the street. "My favourite beach." He replied.

"Wow, I can't believe you grew up somewhere like this." I admired the waves as Herb played in the sand. "I didn't appreciate it enough when I lived here, but now that I don't come here as often I realised how much I miss it," Harry said without breaking eye contact with the view. I placed my head on his shoulder and let out a breath. "I love you." "I love you too Haz."

y/username

Liked by faithloisak and 702,539 others

y/username: weekend in paradise💗

Tagged: @wroetoshaw

-comments-

taliamar: pink is your colour🌸

-> y/username: 🤗

wroetoshaw: ❤️🐶

y/nfanpage21: omg there so cute together!

user80163294: she actually posted harry🙊

user28945110: she met the fam they're definitely serious

[aluria-sevhex]

I BEAT THE GAME

a solid 3rd of my ISAT notes on my phone are just from 'today' (writing this past midnight lol)

my ISAT masterpost

every post in this series is also tagged as #Aluria plays ISAT for the first time (please don't spoil)

please note that there's a bunch of notes in this post because i was still in Act 3 at the beginning of this post lol

-i'm not playing it rn but i have decided to break my 'no looking stuff up' rule so i know where to go to make Sif rember what they say when carving stuff

[WRITING TUMBLR POST ALURIA NOTE: i later looked up maps of the House to help me keep track of stuff lol]

-ok now i know. i like figuring things out myself but i could not fucking remember lol.

-i have a really long car ride so. MORE ISAT

-title theme shout-out

-Sif tripped on a rock. "you're clumsy and not at all threatening and overpowered compared to them!" :(

-they almost forgot to catch Isa :(

-dang, Siffrin didn't say nya this time D:

-hehe they hit it back. one could say it's a... COUNTER-attack B)

-SIFFRIN GHOST ON THE WAY TO THE DORM

-WAIT FUCK DID I FORGET THE SHARPENING STONE

-fuck it i was planning to loop back after finding out what to say anyway

-ah don't i also need to find more i fo on the King somewhere? eh i can do that on the next loop... so much to keep track of...

-LMAO. THE PHRASE SIF SAYS. "please don't look bad please don't look bad please don't look bad" BIG FUCKING MOOD TBH

-Sif on his way to talk to their tools and project while carving or sharpening:

-aight time to die lmao

-Loop my belooped

-hm... it's Loop's job to remember Siffrin's mistakes...

-"you don't have to remember to yell' always gets me :(

-I FOUND THE ARTICLES

-ok so currently i'm thinking that the King and Siffrin are probably from the same place. which may or may not be where Loop is from and/or the disappearing island and/or connected to the color thing.

this game has a lot of weird shit going on.

-Bonnie doesn't know what a star is

-OH FUCK NO. AM I GOING TO HAVE TO GO TO THE OBSERVATORY. I'M LEAVING THAT FOR A LATER LOOP.

-another ghost :0

-ISAT: 📚

ISAT if Siffrin could pick locks: 📕

-WHAT. "you used to find them disgusting, but someone you knew loved them, so you tried them."

"someone you knew?"

"who?"

O_O

-aw, Isa hugged Mira on this bathroom trip

-"you wish for rest" yeah...

-"please be sharp, please be sharp, please be sharp"

-the Keyknife is now the Knifekey. WAIT. THIS MEANS IN THE FUTURE I CAN DO OTHER SHIT ON FLOOR 3. HELL FUCKING YES.

-wait. OH C'MON. boooooooo

-i picked malanga fritters and almost skipped past something that seems important. they remind Siffrin of his parents? :0 their head hurt...

-"BECAUSE YOU FORCED THEM TO!" :(

-"where r u from" "no u"

-JUST FUCKING CONFESS ISA FJHDHEJKSMXMDKSKS

-*sighs* guess i should talk to her. actually... what if i called Loop?

-huh. can't call them here.

-"i just hope that one day you might learn" WAIT THAT'S DIFFERENT- wait nvm i got things mixed up in my head :(

-"in this moment, you were loved"

-"that was a nice rehearsal" OH FUCK.

-i just skipped from loop 37 to 40

-time to kill myself with a banana! oop- *plantain*

-"you broke your head open on a rock" it did not use to describe it like that.

-wait. Sif. if you're annoyed there isn't a more dignified way in the village to loop. just kill yourself. you have a knife. just fucking kill yourself to loop forward.

-...fuck what the hell is this game doing to my thought process

-ok what should i look for in this room...

-"BUT YOU ARE NOT ABLE TO READ IT" in large font... :(

-:( Sif is trying to remember something and it's tied to the stars

-aight new thing to ask the king time to get myself killed via tear yippee

-seems like the King wants Siffrin to remember their home... "something we've all forgotten" this is definitely about the disappearing island and the colors

-i need to go to the library and find the books on it.

-hey isn't Rock also called Protection Craft? kinda interesting that the King has it

-damn i died to the King because of timing bullshit ToT

-"one more time."

-huh... it evades active remembrance

-it had a belief centered on the Universe...

-need to figure out why the King is obsessed with Vaugarde

-freezing something perfect in time... do i need to find one of those Time Craft books again?

-gonna loop forward to the King

-"even the King feels easy to fight, now"

"i still can't say it" the name of their home. he wants to be able to say the name of his and Siffrin's home. ouagh this game is going to leave me emotionally devastated ToT

-fuck i missed the option to ask Odile if she was going to continue her fake research on a loop where i didn't spend time with her

-"can we group hug after i talk to the Head Housemaiden?" oh?

-DAMMIT ODILE INTERRUPTED ISA THIS TIME

-time to talk to her. again. again and again and again and again

-"you can start breaking down now" lol

-"the curtain falls" DAMN

-"HERE AGAIN?" woah Loop why so aggressive?

-"i'm too lazy to open up new dialogue choices" lol

-hm... show Loop the souvenirs...

-wait huh. in another loop this lady in Dormont said she has no siblings but now she has a sister. odd...

-:O THE LONG THINGY-THING

-huh. Loop reacted kinda weirdly to the kid's doodle

-hey what if i gave Isa the flower at the end?

-FUCK I FORGOT THE FUCKING ROCK I GOT TOO COMFY. this is embarrassing

-hey hold up the theme that plays when everybody's discussing the country in the library is the same song that plays when Loop is recapping things

-hold up. the King was in Corbeaux. Corbeaux is where the House doing the color research is.

-took the photo. PERFECTLY FROZEN IN TIME

-oh fuck

-calling Loop

-hm. the star-shaped gate that's locked. is the passcode the name of Siffrin and the King's home?

-we're gonna use a bomb i guess

-i asked the King where he's from and uh... now a slowed-down version of the song is playing...

-what the fuck

-Sif and the King are going to die, aren't they?

-"BUT IT'S ALL GONE!"

-i'm going to loop forward and try to talk to the King. again.

-*sighs* the peel is so dorky

-FUCK I FORGOT TO EQUIP THE MEMORY OF KNIFEKEY

-wait. asking him nicely. FUCKING WORKED???

-"The Universe leads... we can only follow"

-FUCK. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. OF COURSE. OF COURSE. OF COURSE. GO FUCK YOURSELF.

-so the King knows about the loops, even though he can't remember them.

-"Wish Craft" :0

-WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO.

-BONNIE NO

-NO NO NO NO UNHAND THEM

-BONNIE NO BONBON NO

-okay. i looped back. Bonnie is okay again. i just need to kill the King.

-hold the fuck up. it says i'm in Act 4. bad things mark the end of acts. Act 1 ended with me getting in the loops. Act 2 ended with killing the King failing. Act 3 ended with...?

-please don't let Bonnie be dead somehow

-THEY'RE OKAY THEY'RE OKAY

-...the little moments of time rewinding seem to correlate with Sif wishing to go back

-:O I CAN READ THE BOOKS NOW

-THE GATE. OH FUCK YEAH

-fucking hell when did i get (Just attack) because DAMN. Sif is so fucking done with everything.

-WISH CRAFT

-i just fumkign one-shot the Nostalgie on floor 1. "just attack" indeed

-"you need a break" :(

-Sif is like constantly teetering on the edge of a mental breakdown

-let's see how well they do against a boss

-DAMN

-ok so what the fuck was Euphrasie doing before shit hit the fan? and why does she blame herself for Siffrin's situation?

-i just realized something funny. if Vaugarde is fantasy France. and Siffrin and the King are from an island north of Vaugarde. DOES THAT MAKE SIFFRIN FANTASY BRITI- *gets shot*

-gate time.

-what was the question? what was the answer?

-"couldn't i just create another me? someone who'd understand?" ok so somebody's a clone got it.

-Loop? i should talk to Loop

-ok i guess i'll have to be like "hey Loop are you a clone?" in person (plot twist Sif's a clone :P)

-"i saw a weird shade" WAIT HOLD UP YEAH THAT'S SUS THAT SIFFRIN FUCKING SAW RED. OK THAT WAS DIAGETIC. FIRST COLOR IN THE WHOLE GAME.

-gonna kill the King again, talk to Loop, then loop again forward to Floor 2 to read the color theory book

-WAIT SIFFRIN HASN'T CRIED ONCE THIS WHOLE GAME BITCH REPRESSION IS NOT HEALTHY!

-"especially if she knows" Sif. did you forget Odile's name. OH FUCK

-"HOW BLINDINGLY WONDERFUL, FOR A ROLL OF TOILET PAPER TO BE THE ONLY HOPE YOU HAVE LEFT RIGHT NOW!" this would be so funny if not for the context

-"you wish for eternity" WAIT HOLD UP

-SIFFRIN IS USING WISH CRAFT. AND WHEN THEY PRAY TO THE CHANGE GOD STATUES THEY SEND THEIR WISHES. ARE THE BUFFS AND THE KEYKNIFE THE RESULT OF WISH CRAFT?

-hey Siffrin uses a more shy and sad portrait for the 'thank you' afterwards now :(

-FUCK I FORGOT TO SHARPEN THE KNIFE

-y'know what it's fine i have the bomb

-hey Sif i think what happened last time might've uh. traumatized you? ;-;

-welp. i used the bomb. it was anticlimactic.

-"i wonder how this country looks from the outside" *proceeds to imply that the time loop only affects Vaugarde* hold the fucking phone

-ok tho srsly Siffrin is in what looks like *extreme* duress

-oh damn Sif has different portraits for the 'you should disappear' bit. less smug and determined, more... *haunted*

-dang, can't give Isa the flower at the end

-*sigh* gonna talk to her again

-"the actor has become the director"

-there's a lot more theatre comparisons than there used to :(

-woah Siffrin you are weirdly enthusiastic to see Loop

-time to loop forward to read the books woooo

-Sif i am very concerned about this dialogue portrait. your enthusiasm is *desperate*

-hey something funny: people wish on stars

-this game has a LOT of motifs i love: wishes, stars, time, memories, etc.

-hm... what is Siffrin's 'ritual' when doing the wish-y thing?

-:0 a wish is trapping Siffrin?

-what if they're actually being trapped by their own desires or smth? like some sort of- WAIT. WHAT IF LOOP IS TRAPPING THEM SOMEHOW???

-i am in conspiracy mode i think

-moving forward to get to the library

-Siffrin is now level 85...

-maybe a wish is how the island disappeared?

-FAVOR TREE IS WISH CRAFT WOOOOOOOO

-i think the way Sif wished was from something they learned as a kid

-3, 6, 7, 13, all are numbers with significance

-HEY LOOP LOOK WHAT I LEARNED

-welp time to die ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-ok what is in that one house in the main part of Dormont

-hm. Euphrasie was apparently asking everybody what they wished for. she probably realized something tied to Wish Craft was wrong...

-maybe the list in Euphrasie's office cataloguing the names was categorizing based on wishes?

-looping forward

-"you're a living comedy sketch"

-my guess is that the wishing to save Vaugarde enabled Siffrin to loop so they could defeat the King, but something went horribly wrong, thus causing the loops to keep going

-ugh i need to talk in person. tear time!

-a sped-up version of the happy song after you beat the King is playing and Siffrin has the desperate enthusiasm portrait...

-Siffrin, you already tried saving Vaugarde.

-"maybe you don't loop because you die... but because you feel like there would be no reason to go on, maybe?" makes sense to me. Siffrin doesn't have anything to look forward to after defeating the King.

-"something that, to you, feels on the same level of hopelessness as death? on the same level as the world ending?" me when the time loop wants me to get therapy:

-hey Sif you just looped. right in front of Loop.

-looping forward to the King.

-Odile's realizing she's missing something. too bad she'll forget it. maybe i should try making the others really suspicious of me on a future loop

-"please don't interrupt" :(

-this game has me constantly on some variety of edge and i love it

-maybe this time Isa will get to confess?

-the static is starting and i haven't even talked to Euphrasie

-damn i did a minor loop back :(

-talking to her won't work. it can't work.

-STOP SAYING THE SAME DAMN THING STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT

-I WAS RIGHT AS TO HOW EXACTLY SIF GOT STUCK

-the wish is broken. MAYBE IF I DO SOMETHING ELSE MAYBE IF HE'S DEFEATED SOME OTHER WAY PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

-OH FUCK. so Sif's current theory is that somehow he has to deal the final blow

-"You just need to defeat the King on your own" BUT YOU NEED THE OTHERS TO DEFEAT HIM?

-also damn the way Siffrin's thoughts spiral into a mess is a mood.

-i am now in Act 5.

-:( the Dormont music is slow now

-Sif's portrait in the menus has changed again, there is nothing in the body text of his profile, and their title is now "The Lost One" :(

-wait. the Change God statue is glitchy now and i can't get buffs there anymore

-Sif is like perpetually pissed off

-aaaand now Mira's upset

-Sif is going to fuck things up with the others as well, won't they?

-i think Odile's gonna figure out that Sif is in a time loop

-i feel like i'm in a horror game right now. well. i've felt like that for a while. but i am fucking terrified of Siffrin right now. Siffrin you need help please they only want to help you you can't bottle up everything or it only ends up worse

-the battle theme is slowed...

-sometime i should write a crossover fanfic where Rose Lalonde picks apart Siffrin, i think it would go very interestingly

-unrelated but i just realized Isa has a hair banana hehehe... i need to cling to levity while in this hell

-uh. dude. why is your dialogue looping

-SIFFRIN! I. I KNOW YOU'RE STRUGGLING BUT ALL THEY WANT TO DO IS HELP YOU AND YOU KEEP HURTING THEM PLEASE THEY ONLY WANT TO HELP YOU I KNOW VULNERABILITY IS HARD BUT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE THEY'VE BEEN *TRYING* AND THEY'VE BEEN NOTHING BUT KINDA TO YOU AND IT HURTS TO SEE THIS SIFFRIN BECAUSE YOU KEEP GETTING WORSE AND WORSE AND IT'S TERRIFYING!

-fuck man this game is getting me to care so much about this guy. Mental Illness Simulator 2023

-the irony of Sif calling Isa a coward who projects confidence but not backing it up... Siffrin is projecting.

-and yet despite all that... Isa still ended the conversation rather kindly ToT

-Loop seems really unsure and yeah. past me would not believe this but i am siding with the starheaded bitch.

-...Loop fucking LIED

-Sif is going alone

-oh dear the music

-most of the memories are gone. and the skills...

-level 99

-wait the room layout is fucked

-a Sif ghost but with a black hat instead

-"you're hungry" :(

-so. i think Sif just hallucinated his party members.

-"your stomach hurts. you feel cold." :(

-the world is glitching and breaking haha and i am scared i'm scared i'm scared Siffrin *please*

-how is the photo event occurring if i'm on my own?

-*oh no*

-ok brb i need to take a break

-ok back from my break and refreshed! now i can go back to Siffrin's Descent Into Hell

-entered Mira's room. her hallucination did the "head is covered in darkness creepily" thing...

-Odile...

-i'm in the Keyknife room except now the background is the post-King fight background...

-the feeling of the grim march towards a specific goal reminds me of the Undertale genocide route haha...ha...ha... ...

-stomachache, headache, and the smell of sugar...

-no more running, only a slow, slow, walk to the end

-"you've trapped this country in time even more surely than i have" oh fuck

-not often that a game makes me terrified enough for me to feel my heartbeat...

-red.

-his sprite is on the game over?

-where the FUCK am i?

-spooky shadow Siffrin

-OOO DO I GET TO FIGHT A MANIFESTATION OF SIFFRIN'S MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES?

-hm what does mal du pays mean- oh :( it translated to homesickness :(

-you can't fight your own shadow

-"it's not like you haven't let me die before, right?" *OH FUCK*

-you broke your promise didn't you?

-red

-dude i think the depression is collecting its due. loops and loops of bottling your shit up has been unhealthy and now you are paying for it :(

-"if something has been forgotten by everyone, has that thing ever existed?" FUCK

-red

-more red

-BRIGHT RED

-if i had a nickel for every rpg i liked where a monochrome manifestation of the main character's mental illness taunted him in a scripted fight, i'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice. bonus: the dialogue box calls Mal du Pays 'something'! oh and both games open with a content warning i guess

y'know maybe the fact i found out about this game from a blogger that i followed for Omori stuff should've been some sort of indicator.

-"the sadness within you is right" FUCK

-OH GOOD SIF DIDN'T DIE THE FAMILY CAME TvT

-"a weird shiny person helped us!" LOOP :D

-AND THE MUSIC IS UPBEAT OH THIS FEELS SO GOOD TvT

-IT HAS THE TITLE SCREEN MOTIF TOO

-i'l have to look up the song later and compare to other themes but i think it might be a medley/remix? i've definitely identified the post-King fight theme and the title theme, probably more i can't clearly identify

-everybody's battle portraits are so bright and happy

-"i still cannot remember its name" :(

-damn. he froze. womp womp

-ok but what about Loop? what's going on with them?

-glitchy background...

-i'm on Act 5. aren't there like 6 acts? idk maybe this can end and Sif can move forward. then again... the last few times. that did not work out.

-haha Sif pls don't die on us rlly tho pls don't

-so slow...

-RED...

-Mal du Pays is following us

-FUCK

-*exhales* ok the darkness is gone

-is it weird that i kinda like this moment more than the moments of closeness with the others in Act 3? maybe cuz it feels more real, somehow... or because for once, Siffrin is the one being vulnerable...

-i think the problem was sticking to the script and treating the others like actors or well... NPCs

-FUCK FUCK FUCK NO NO NO DON'T YOU DARE GO INTO GLITCHY MODE.

-FUCK

-now that they're here they know something is wrong.

-please game please grant Siffrin one small mercy and let the others loop back with him this time

-RED

-uhhhhhhhh

-Sif did you just become your weird sadness self

-woah this is a beautiful scene

-WOAH. now THIS is a battle! and it is *beautiful*. the red and the stars...

-oh fuck. my options are hurt them or self-harm.

-wait are they HEALING ME? :(

-the battle menu simply refers to Siffrin as 'user'

-JGJRJENNDNRJE LMAO ODILE JUST PULLED A CLASSIC MOM MOVE LIKE "don't you dare storm up to your room earlier in time, young man!"

-forced group therapy

-oh, Siffrin's portrait

-i HATE that my options are hurt my friends or hurt myself. and i refuse to let Siffrin hurt their friends. it's... heartbreaking...

-chat i don't think the wish the player chooses was Siffrin's *actual* wish

-:0 hatless Siffrin

-AWWWW THEY'RE HUGGING

-aw... smiling Sif... hugging Bonnie :]

-:0 EVERYBODY IS SO HAPPY IN THE MENU!

-"It's you!!!!" also hey Sif's title is "The Traveler" again!

-"you will stay together for a little while longer" :]

-i love how the lack of hat makes the fact that Siffrin is really short apparent lol

-these new conversations are precious :]

-Odile thinks the fact that Sif loved everybody so much they got himself stuck in a time loop to be cute XD

-NO WAY. IS THIS FINALLY HAPPENING. IS HE FINALLY GONNA SAY IT?

-HELL FUCKING YES!!!!!!!!

-ok i just talked to all the housemaidens and Dormont residents. time to talk to Loop

-...

-maybe Loop was just. a manifestation of the wish...

-:0 THE SILVER COIN? ARE WE GONNA FINSLLY USE THE SILVER COIN?

-TvT

-I BEAT THE GAME :D

-:o Siffrin is no longer on the title screen

[my-traumacore-sideblog]

feeling rly unsafe 2day, but it's specifically bc of being a trans guy, i keep seeing stuff from cis women abt how men r always the worst and how men hav a duty 2 make their lives revolve around women or else we're sexist, how apparently men need 2 all b willing 2 lay down their lives 4 any woman or else we're just as bad as the creeps who make ppl feel unsafe 2 go out at night and yes i said people not just women but they only want 2 acknowledge it when it's a cis woman that's the victim

i did not fucking sign up for this

i did not fucking sign up 2 sacrifice my life either literally or thru dedicating my life only 2 others just because the pronoun "he" fits me better than the pronoun "she"

i should not hav 2 worry that im an inherently bad person because of being a gay trans man

i should not hav 2 worry abt being perceived as a threat bc of being a queer man of colour

i've honestly started to hav thoughts abt de-transitioning not bc being a guy in the way i am doesn't fit me but rather out of fear of the scrutiny every action of mine will b placed under

i was sexually abused as a child but i guess that doesn't matter anymore because im a man now, boys don't cry they punch ig, apparently since im a man now it means im destined 2 become that which hurt me

all i want is to be a man, in a nonbinary way yes but still a man (demi-guy), i want to love men who love me back, i want to live a quiet life surrounded by love and happiness, i want to live a gentle life

but no.... because im a man now then apparently it must make me predatory in some way

i can't de-transition... i know i wouldn't survive emotionally... so i stick with it, with allowing myself to be a demi-guy.... but it hurts knowing that me being free is perceived as dangerous, that im seen as inherently a threat to women

edit: so a terf started clowning this post, just 2 make this shit clear, this is not a fucking debate blog this is a me posting abt my feelings blog, i would've thought the url "my-traumacore-sideblog" would've made that clear

also no racism and sexism is not the same thing

yes women face oppression at the hands of men and should be allowed to talk about it but men also face oppression at the hands of women and should be allowed to talk abt it, 4 men who r not in a minority group this is usually in terms of legal stuff (how r*pe is legally categorised, custody disputes ect) but this is even more of an issue and more every day when it comes to men in marginalised communities, yk like me, yk like what i was venting abt in my fucking post i should b allowed 2 talk abt my own oppression 2 and acting like me venting abt my own oppression in a post tagged as a vent post on my vent blog makes me the same as my white oppressors is not only terf shit but also racist and it shows a lack of political literacy, a woman has just as much capacity 4 violence as a man but a queer man of colour is seen as inherently violent and a white woman is inherently seen as always being a victim but ur ok w/ these white women using that power of perceived vulnerability 2 call 4 violence against queer men and men of colour and especially queer men of colour just say u want cis women klansmen and leave im not backing down from talking abt my own oppression bc of white woman tears

anyways person who clowed is now blocked so don't bother trying 2 respond 2 my edit

[obscureother]

🌑 ˚x'˙ intro. . ??

Hello. . !! im new to tumblr, so sorry if wonky things happen while im setting this up. im still trying to figure things out guys-

i lurk on other accounts for general content but im closeted n shy so i made this one to yell about things instead so i don’t expose myself to people i know lolol

if you know or find other profiles i own, i request you not expose it for those reasons before im comfortable to.

so this is just an f/o blog/journaling. . thing. I'm not entirely sure what content will be here, but it will be centered around f/os, self-shipping, and its just to give me a place to yell about the people that live in my/your brain rent-free and know they don’t exist but we pretend they do anyway for comfort reasons and serotonin, dopamine, uhh what other things feel good and ok??

some of it will be for you if I happen to think of something, other times it is for me to explode over my fixation f/os!!

youre also welcome to come yell about your f/os if you just need someone to talk to them about!! dont think i know em?? COME OVER and INTRODUCE THEM. you can come in DMs, asks, or however you want to!! id be happy to know your f/o or listen to you talk about them if no one else will :00

This is a comfort blog to me, so there wont be any room for meanness or intended offenses here. Dont come to me with troublesome things or somehow twist/morph my content into something its not, we're just here to have a cool time with our fictional people, bro. . :((

ok who r you tho:

To be honest, I don’t have a name or something to go by as of posting this, I might get one later or just make a new comment all fancy for the pin. . For now you can just call me whatever you deem good or just go off my blog/username!! Don’t be mean tho. i may take one you guys think of or figure it out on my own.

they/them

im 21 yo. (if youre a minor, i dont mind you coming to say hello, but do look below the other stuff content for what you need to look out for. you should also know some of you goofy kiddos have energies i dont know how to respond to sometimes, so dont worry if i get awkward or something, its not your fault lolol.)

im in college, so forgive me if im slow, im also just not on tumblr very often :v i dont ghost people on purpose i swEaR-

i might post my f/os on a whole list, idk yet, but theyll prolly be mentioned sometimes to the very least. you can def ask of them tho!! (edited: i made an f/o list if you want to see them.)

i dont know if ill post content of my own f/os or me/my sona for them, but it could be there.

i dont mind sharing f/os!! id love to yell about them together. if you dont like that, then its ok!! i either wont talk about them with you so you can be their person when we talk of them, or you can just block/not interact. ill be sad i dont get to meet you, but its ok.

other stuff:

Nothing explicit/detailed will normally be posted. but: The worst there will be is just being hormonally silly from kind of "rrr ovaries go brr, chew on theM-" energy of my f/os. i will try to create a tag to mark it with so you can exclude honky content if you want or need to later, tho. from what i know, you can "block" tags. . so i think that will work if you like the other goofy stuff on the blog??

(edited: I DID IT, I DID THEM, LOOK: 🌑obscure tags list for the obscure blog )

NSFW talk can be in DMs, tho.

DO NOT come to me with those concepts if youre a minor tho, oh dear GOD. honky grown-up talk is not for you goofy child-folk.

LGBTQ+ friendly!! im nonbinary and love everybody. youre ok too. 💙

i do roleplay sometimes, but only in dms n please dont go exposing our roleplays to others. . i would be very not comfy :"0

if you want to roleplay, you can dm me to ask but i dont have to say yes or i might not be able to. im slow too dfsdf=

i may or may not make a side blog once i figure out how to do stuff, but know that until then, im going to just post whatever on this one til i know how to do things on tumblr lolol.

forgive me if some of my content gets deleted, edited, whatever as we go. like i said, this whole thing is very new to me and its not very organized for now. its just there. its gonna get wonky over here on my side for a bit.

• tiny bat gif •

[miseryoforpheus]

intro post <3

Hey there!

Im Jamie and my pronouns are They/She/he

Im a neurospicy minor (but I will swear and also am fine being moots with/talking to adults as long as no one is a creep to me it’s all good)

Uhhh welcome to my online diary :|

Happy to make friends if u want - feel free to DM me

online diary blog w lots of Neil Gaiman reblogs bc he’s my idol

Fun facts about me:

Umm ok (trying to think of fun facts now)

Im Italian but grew up in England, would love some more Italian moots <3

my favourite authors are Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett (but it’s been like that since before I read good omens lmao) also Rick Riordan and Alice Oseman

certified gravity falls child

if u couldn’t tell by the URL I’m obsessed with Greek and Roman mythology

nostalgic for a time I wasn’t even alive - late 80s and early 90s mainly but also like 70s

nostalgic for a time I WAS alive (barely but it still counts bc I do remember it) - the late 2000s

I did a quiz to see what Beatles band member I’d be and got Paul Mcartney

damn u rlly don’t realise how boring u r till u try and do an about me huh

Music I like:

Hozier, Olivia Rodrigo, Conan Gray, Harry Styles, YUNGBLUD, Beatles, Elton John, Queen, Renée Rapp, TV girl, bears in trees, Ricky Montgomery, NOAHFINNCE, MARINA, Fleetwood Mac

getting into:

Nirvana [used to love them a few years ago but then a mean girl made fun of me for it so I stopped listening to them but I’m starting again]

Dominic Fike Paramore

mother mother

MCR

the neighbourhood

The tags I will use:

Jamie answers asks - u guessed it this is for answering any asks

the most boring soap opera - my life stuff because my life is the most boring soap opera

MOTD - mood of the day which is just a lil thing I do

for the record:

I stand with Palestine 🇵🇸

please click here every day:

also free Ukraine 🇺🇦

aro and ace people are LGBTQ+ and this is an aro and ace and aroace safe blog

in general this is a COMPLETELY safe space

if u want anyone to talk to btw I’m always here to chat, can’t guarantee i’ll be able to help but I am always willing to listen literally any time we don’t even have to be moots or anything just DM me ok? Ily all take care of yourselves ok loves? <3

Also one last thing just for ppl that know me, I have no problem with u following this blog or anything but be warned that I’m not gonna filter my opinion at all on here bc I need a place to be myself and if u don’t want to see that i understand and idm just pls don’t take it as a personal attack or anything if u ever think something I post relates to you, I promise it’s not I just need to vent <3

My MOTD ratings:

0-2 > feeling really really really shitty

3-4 > shitty like I have too much sadness and anger and everything inside me and it feels horrible and yeah yk [reckless behaviour is strong here for me + pretty strong intrusive thoughts]

5 > normal. Numb. Yucky. Normal level of intrusive thoughts [for me at least, everyone is different]

6-7 > smol happy, probably was a bad day that got better

7-8 > :D

9-10 > fucking ecstatic

[primaviva]

my experience with rashad.

tw: racism, use of the n-slur (hard r for context) proceed with these things in mind and also don’t go and bring him attention by going to his page as he should not be on the internet for his own peace and everyone else’s. this is going to be long and have a lot of receipts/descriptions. do not send him shit on my behalf i ain’t move like that.

before i start, i want it to be clear that this is not confirmed. however, he has a history of doing fake anons to himself and to his (ex) moots from what i learned to either start drama, topics, or fw them so he can act as a supporter or victim if he sent the anon to himself. and this is NOT me jumping on the rashad toxic gossip train of tumblr 2023 but this type of behavior is disgusting and inexcusable. i am very convinced that it was him and want to share it to you all while leaving it open to criticism and speculation but PLEASE be careful and pick up the warning signs with these people from everyone coming out with stories about him.

now let’s get tf into it cus it’s a lot…

me snd rashad became moots after he noticed me like a post of his i think. his first inbox to me was him trying to do self promo for a fic of his he was writing which i thought was odd and a little weird so i ignored it but he ended up continuing to inbox me random things (which i don’t generally mind) so we ended up building some mutual association or sum on here.

however, around 9-10 days ago, rashad had got “sent” something in his inbox about afro latinos. this was the ask:

now, i am not going to invalidate afro latinos who have experienced this. as a latino, i have experienced prejudice but that is never comparable to a black latino or a black person in general who is mixed/has another ethnic group of origin. these things are said to people and have been said to me in a different context. however, this ask was directly after he had posted it and on top of that it simply is not something someone would say as an ask. i don’t know how to describe it, but it’s too directed, crafted in a way that it’s wording seems like someone trying to be racist, and so on. we had never talked one on one either so i was confused when i first saw he had tagged me in a post since i hadn’t seen what it was about yet. i don’t know how to describe it but there’s something in the wording and just the context of it all that made this ask so in genuine almost as if it was something he had asked himself on another account.

this was me tagged in it:

i of course reblogged and said my peace and now disgusting and ignorant it was because afro latinos are a minority even in their own community because of generationally taught racism from colonization and just our traditional way of life and teaching stripped from us and our culture. but at the time, i had no idea of his “track record” of doing this type of thing or even the drama he was getting messy with behind what everyone knew of him.

i wanna say this as it’s very important as to what i have to show next. i am not black. i have never stated that and my day one followers and moots know that i have black family and in fact most of my relatives are afro latino but i, myself, am a lightskin latina which is something i feel i have always made known at least in sum damn context clues. i also want to add that this took place september 18th and that’s alway really important to the story.

ok now lemme get into why this is even a post.

shortly after this, i had gotten sick and ended up going on a break from just the internet in general because i needed to rest my ass up before even doin a thing like school and writing n allat. i was gone for around 3-4 days. so this post was long “old” or at least not being seen by anyone. and the thing is my spam posts never get hella reblogs unless i add hashtags or say something that makes everyone and they mama wanna join in on the conversation. so tell me why, exactly three days later, around the day i came back, i receive this in my inbox:

what the fuck is this? like genuinely.

i had not seen this the first day i came back because my inbox was flooded with my actives rambling to me, compliments, requests, etc until yesterday morning when i was taking the time to reply to some stuff and it had come up. i was gagged like this language was so vile, nasty, ignorant, and dumb as fuck. why? for starters, i am not afro latino or black. me and others believe that rashad was under the impression that by the few posts he saw of me talking about the issue that he just assumed i was afro latino as well. i am not and people that follow me from long before all this know that.

and like let’s really read the text and what it says because it’s speaking about black latinos not being latino because they have no “true” spanish or indigenous blood, which is something that this man is always talking about and presents, to me, as an insecurity (a valid one DONT get it twisted) as a afro latino. he, or “anon,” goes on to call me the n word with the hard r multiple times and tells me i should have stayed a slave and then goes on to bring up taino ancestors (my ancestors) which i just found beyond disrespectful and crossing a big ass fucking line. im not sure if im describing this well, but just by the way that these anon asks are worded they seem very “fake” as in not that this couldn’t happen or hasn’t been told to anyone, but it doesn’t feel organic and just feels like forced racist comics to give you content.

he also texted me for the first time in tumblr dms the same day as this post or the day after the ask was sent to me, i believe, so coincidence or not …

i am 85% sure this is rashad.

to me, it feels like he did this as a way to maybe validate how he feels as a afro latino with other mixed latin im him since afro latinos face so much prejudice. however, to seek validation by doing an anon to yourself about your own post to get others to hype you up and validate YOUR ethnicity is completely unhealthy especially in this way. THIS was vile. THIS was uncalled for and beyond einstein level comprehension skills. THIS is inappropriate and a sign you shouldn’t be on tumblr.

rashad has been involved in a lot of drama public and not and has a constant thing to blame it on his “episodes” and such. while i think that self diagnosing is valid because people, especially poc, can’t get proper mental care rn, to state it as a fact is something that self diagnosers do not do and acknowledge it isn’t right. even so, it is not valid to blame bad behavior on your mental health. and even if you did “take accountability,” in your so called apologies rashad, you go from saying you don’t use your mental health as an excuse but at the same time use it in that context for why you shouldn’t get hate and we should all stop criticizing you and your actions because it should all be forgivable in a way where we can just move on with no consequences.

yes, rashad does suffer from mental illnesses or some type/types of mental issues whether they are underlying or not but the problem is that the internet is literally his scapegoat from this and is feeding into his problems which is why he does the anons, the posts putting people on blast, etc. if you have not seen he has taken this drama from tumblr to discord to instagram. but it is clear he does not feel any microscopic ounce of guilt or genuine sorry in this specific situation. he says he’s “acting like the big person” but goes to attack people who tried to talk some sense into him in his petty onika miraj type posts sayin shit about shoving ice dildos into peoples puss puss and sneak dissin mfs who have a right to see what he’s doing when he is continuing to be petty in the heat of this whole thing by talkin abt people.

he’s struggling with so much and the internet is not for him and it shows in the way he handles confrontation, parasocial relations w people online, and how he copes with his issues by running to tumblr or any other social media. he has stated before he is an ex manipulator and so on and a place like this is not where he needs to be. so do not feed into the anons he sends, do not feed into the petty and compulsive posts he puts together, and just don’t interact with him. he needs to find his own inner peace on some preacher to the church type shit like this a tyler perry movie and not effect those around him with his own internal mess.

so don’t take this as me trying to like ride off this situation or just me saying these things just because all my moots or in it and i wanna be involved on some nosy bitch shit. but something like this is very serious and i was gonna be quiet on my suspicion but something as disgusting as this being said to me and not put on some blast by my classy ass just didn’t feel right. do not go to his page like he his “gone” just take this in a way to educate yourself on the typa person he is and as an example of why you shouldn’t get emotionally attacked to the internet or get involved with people like this.

pay attention to how ppl act and the red flags so you can just cut them off and save y’all both the “i survived” trauma. again, this isn’t confirmed (the racism post) because i have no way to prove it but he has a history of it and i just wanted to come out with this because it made me uncomfortable and disgusted.

NOT EVERYTHING IS FOR THE INTERNET !

[miss-sternennacht]

20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by @cnnmonbimee!! Thanks so much!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? Actually same as Hime, 28! I have more when you add on fanfic.net, but I'm working on getting those over.

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 122,557, which I feel like is a lot!

3. What fandoms do you write for? 20 total for TBHK, with the next place trophy going to Hetalia.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Four Questions (Hetalia: Axis Powers) (3,377 words) kudos: 405

Let's Take a Selfie! (地縛少年花子くん | Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun | Toilet-bound Hanako-kun (Manga), 地縛少年花子くん | Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun | Toilet-bound Hanako-kun (Anime)) (4,461 words) kudos: 304

Morning Reflections (地縛少年花子くん | Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun | Toilet-bound Hanako-kun (Manga), 地縛少年花子くん | Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun | Toilet-bound Hanako-kun (Anime)) (3,836 words) kudos: 283

Teach Me Astronomy, Amane-kun! (地縛少年花子くん | Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun | Toilet-bound Hanako-kun (Manga), 地縛少年花子くん | Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun | Toilet-bound Hanako-kun (Anime)) (17,645 words) kudos: 245

Miracles Take Time (Hetalia: Axis Powers) (19,821 words) kudos: 184

My number one kudos fic is something I wrote over 10 years ago alskdflsjkd But I am surprised at how many the selfie one has, it was just an idea I had. Didn't think it would be somewhat popular!

5. Do you respond to comments? I try to as much as possible!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Probably "Until Midnight" due to the ending, but probably also "Everything Has an End". I don't typically write angsty fics or fics with sad endings.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Most of them LOL! I'd probably say "Hey There Lovina"

8. Do you get hate on fics? I have before! Not on AO3, not that I can remember however. But if people hate a fic, that's ok! They're allowed to have that opinion and I'm not a trained writer or anything, I just write for fun.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I tend to have ideaaaaaas, but I'm not confident in that kind of writing so I probably won't ever post any of them. Making out or referencing something is the closest I usually get.

10. Do you write crossovers? I have! I don't like those that much tbh. I have one on AO3, I had two before on Fanfic.net.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? ... No?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Also no!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Not yet ;)

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? So talking in general, it's probably SyaoSaku from CCS! In terms of writing it's HanaNene from TBHK.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I actually have a Mario fic that I started writing when the movie came out because I heard a song and got a great idea, and there's a HanaNene skating fic that is mostly done... A few other oneshots too.

16. What are your writing strengths? I don't know if I'm qualified to talk about my strengths lol, but I think maybe connections?

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Again, I don't know if I'm qualified to judge myself properly, but the fact that I'm just not a great writer. My vocabulary needs to expanddddd.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Listen. I wrote fics for Hetalia. I used Google Translate, used books to translate, asked people for translations, and also relied on commenters for any troubles. I don't mind if others do it just because I'm used to it from long ago, even if the translation is not quite right.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Technically technically, I used to write little ficlets for Jimmy Neutron back when Nickelodeon had forums on their site! Did I save any of them, of course not, so they are lost to time.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? "Teach Me Astronomy, Amane-kun!" I started this fic during Covid-19 and at the time I really wanted to write for TBHK because none of my friends watched/read the series and I had so many intense feelings since it became my new obsession. And because I had read so many fics that had Amane obsess over space, another obsession/hobby of mine, I wanted to combine the two to create an (somewhat) educational fic. It was really fun to tell people about an event and to hear in the comments what people saw/did. I fully intend to continue the fic and already have some drafts made up, but this one out of all my fics I desperately want to continue.

Thank you for the tag, Hime! I don't normally tag, so if you see this and want to do it, just tag me 'cause I'd love to read yours!

[the-ultimate-pie-family]

Sara encounter with god part 2

Sara: *is home going to bed* hmmm maybe i should try praying?..... *starts praying*

God: *floats above her* hello my child

Sara: dah holy

God: *covers her mouth* i get it so wat is ur prayer?

Sara: honestly I wanted somepony to talk too

God: i see so be it *sits on her bed* so wat do u want to talk about?

Sara: *shocked* im actually gonna talk to god

God: u ok sara?

Sara: uh yes my lord

God: call me blood sara

Sara: blood? Do u always answer prayers?

God: yes my job is very important to my children

Sara: then answer me this blood wat is the meaning of life?

God: everything sara here let me show u *holds out his hoof*

Sara: *hesitate grabbing his hoof* oh dear will this change me on how i look at thing?

God: maybe *smiles*

Sara: *grabs his hoof as they went to a beautiful place* huh w-where r we?

God: beautiful isn't it?

Sara: i feel so happy here so calm no cares at all?

God: explore sara do anything u want here I'll be around *walks off into the distance*

Sara: huh? Wait blood stay with me.......plz?

God: *floats above her picking her up with his magic* I'll stay with u my dear

Sara: *hugs god* thank u

God: hmm ur welcome sara *hesitate to hug her but does*

Sara: mmm u feel so warm god makes me feel happy

God: that's good

Sara: *kisses god on the lips hopeing he doesn't get mad*

God: *blushes deep red* oh fuck

Sara: *keeps kissing god pinning him down* god take me plz

God: sara i rather we date first then fuck right now it be a waste

Sara: but my lord plz i want to feel ur warmth inside me plz

God: oh dear but i think we should still date first sara

Sara: a couple dates then will u fuck me I'll make it worth ur wild

God: we'll see sara

Sara: then kiss me u holy asshole *kisses god deeply*

God: *hesitate but kisses her back* ur so needy sometimes miss sara

Sara: sorry my lord but u make me feel so happy when im with u *places his arm on her hips* just imagine feeling my whole body my lord

God: *blushes* oh dear.......

Sara: *grinds on his chest a little* plz god fuck me now i beg u fuck me i want ur warmth inside me so badly

God: im sorry sara begging won't work on me never has

Sara: then I'll take u myself then *kisses gods neck then his soft lips*

God: *bites his lip trying not to moan* mm plz sara *uses his magic to lift her up covering his lap with a pillow*

Sara: *got a little wet from the sight of god magic cock* i wonder does everything on u changes *bites her lip wanting to kiss god again*

God: *blushes* wat do u mean by that? *gently kissing her cheek*

Sara: oh u'll find out soon my lord i hope....

God: i don't know sara maybe

Sara: plz god fuck me plz *tries to break free from his magic* plz god

God: i would but no my dear sara

Sara: then I'll play with myself till u do fuck me

God: u wouldn't dare?.......

Tag for @saraali-19

[angleapple]

Hello, so this is my first ever post here. Well a post that has something written in it by myself actually. If u choose to read it hope u do enjoy.

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Subject: Naruto Shippuden FF, post war, personal AU where Itachi (my favourite character from the series) doesn't die.

Characters: Itachi Uchiha, Amaya Kiohime, Jiraiya, Kakashi Hatake, (oc) Ren Tanaka, (oc) Pebble, (oc) Mamba, (oc) Sparrow, (oc) Demon

Trigger warning ⚠️: mention of violence, blood, physical abuse (?), mention of death, unrequited love, love confession, love rivals, , mildly suggestive theme towards this ending (?), kissing scene, mention of human sacrifices/pawns and that's all I think?? Mention if u think there should be something else added to this list. Aww yeah 'ducks' too maybe ?? That's all I guess.

Word count: a little over 9k.

And now on to the actual story without further ado, hope u enjoy!

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Ok so, I was thinking about Itachi......let's be honest when am I not thinking about him..... anyway while I was daydreaming about braiding his hair in intricate, delicate braids so when he wakes up and needs to take them off it'll take him a hot minute I just was struck by an idea. A jealousy au.......tell me what do u think about it because I'm practically dying, over it, just losing it over this au.

**********************************************

So this starts with a rough ninja group that starts to target several households. All quite reputable and big households and they burn the houses with the people in it. Consider it after the war era so Kakashi is the hokage. Jiraiya decides to visit him on the issue over at his office while he was trying to go through the files to understand the situation better.

So long ago, like really long ago, there was a great prophet that saw a dream, and wrote about it in a scroll. The entirety of shinobies all together, afraid of what might be in that scroll decided to divide it in 5 parts and hid it under the wings of 5 families who generation after generation choose their successors and hand the scroll over. Now it's not known where the scroll is, if it is real or what might be in it.

This really made Kakashi and Jiraiya concerned. 3 out of 5 houses have been attached and destroyed by now, and they don't even know where these ninjas r or their next target. So Jiraiya suggests they wait for them to attack again so then they will have a clear idea where they will attack next. For that of course they had to talk with the few half dead survivors from 2 of the families. They gave away one location but couldn't give any information about the other.

**********************************************

Amaya was the one nursing the sick people back to health so they could live on. She heard about the scroll situation but didn’t know if it was her place to say anything because if it is as old and well known as they r saying then Madara knew about it surely, but he still didn’t go after it, so it must be something that’s not supported to be messed with. She was not sure but was uneasy stressing about if there will be another war at the door again.

Then she was called in the hokage’s office. Jiraya was the one who called. The rough ninjas were not to be messed with, they slipped through the fingers of quite some other groups of jonins of cloud and stone. Having a skilled medic in their team would be a great help, especially when she is also a sensory double. It’ll be a 4 person team, Jiraiya, her, Itachi and another guy who’s also a sensory and communicative expert in case they need more back up from the village later.

**********************************************

That day she was tagging along with Jiraiya the entire day for preparation and when around early evening they gathered all together for the sake of introduction and a plan and then setting off on journey, Amaya upon seeing Itachi called out as usual (screaming a very high pitched TACHI~~) and Itachi was about to yell a response back of his own, “shut up” that is, but kept to himself mumbling “how obnoxiously loud” holding his ears.

This piece of commotion brought out the former anbu and current officer in the sensory and communicative section. However the moment he saw Amaya his confusion evaporated and the empty space was full with a curiosity about what this woman was.

Needless to say the introduction period went on a little longer than initially planned. Ren Tanaka, the new man joining the team with auburn hair and grayish blue eyes, surprisingly started getting along with Amaya off the bat, while maintaining a professional relationship with Jiraiya and a cold shoulder to Itachi. They had so many interests in common, most of them were absurd and meant a total waste of time according to Itachi. That didn’t stop him from wondering if they actually shared such interests or he was just faking it, after all he can't really imagine anyone else being as obsessed with wanting to be a duck like Amaya, despite not knowing anything about them.

**********************************************

The formation was simple and direct, Jiraiya, the team leader will be behind tailing the rest in case of any abrupt ambush, Ren will be in the middle maintaining a sensory field with Amaya, while Itachi will lead with his sharingans. The basic plan after reaching the place was to wait hiding.

They weren’t sure if the rough ninjas will be attacking the place they have chosen tonight, especially not when they have emptied the place before hand to avoid casualties at least in one family. They however were not certain about what to do with the scroll. Something they didn’t even know where it was or what it was.

Amaya and Ren fooling around didn’t help Itachi’s thoughts. What were they laughing so much about?? They r supposed to be silent and stealthy, sneaky, not slowing the rest down with failed attempts at muffling their wheezing giggles. He wasn’t interested in the slightest bit in what they were talking about, it was just some old book, a ridiculous romance story that he has heard Amaya obsess over countless times. He didn’t even like the story at the very least bit, he only read it to analyze the characters and the theme and the plot(holes) and the setting, and the symbolism so that he can understand Amaya when she figures something new out and tells him but definitely it was a horrendous piece of literature, insult to art. There was no need for her to explain all the details he has heard a million times to this new guy with so much enthusiasm, and so loudly…….He has a headache.

**********************************************

He sure was startled when Jiraiya pulled him back. Apparently he was going too fast and went too far ahead of the team and wouldn’t hear them out. Amaya tried to call him so many times. What a joke, as if she called for him once after having met this gray eyed fish gasping for water with every breath……..no wonder it was so peaceful. Of course, he didn’t say those out loud, only said his mind was loud with what might be already going on there.

It wasn't all wrong. His mind was definitely loud, counting countless possible scenarios playing out in his head. However he didn’t like the excuse that the road they chose as short cut being hard to navigate was the reason why they were not as fast as his natural speed not because gossiping, why was he not having much trouble? Couldn’t possibly be his piercing eyes, sharp, swift reflexes, and natural ability to blend with his surroundings.

The good thing that came out of this was they were able to reach the place sooner than expected. The place was eerily quiet. Perhaps the evacuation was the reason, maybe it wasn’t a great idea and the thieves will be warned now, probably they should’ve just tried mixing in with the rest of the people here and catch the thieves red handed in action when they do come. But then again, what if they r out numbered and someone gets wounded. But even so they have Amaya, she can handle a household of people. What if the thieves think that the people here left the place and just took the scroll so they leave as well before even coming here. That being said……how r they even finding the scrolls to begin with if no one knows where they r…….

**********************************************

The train of his thoughts had to be stopped abruptly when Amaya screamed at the top of her lungs. Itachi sprinted towards where he heard her scream. What happened?...... Did someone come in? Was there a trap? Did she get in trouble? His mind was racing under seconds, not that he was worried about her, it’s her healing abilities r unmatched and so is her cooking, she also owes him 3 favors, what about the ducks she has made friends with or Mr. chick ken? She still hasn’t been able to win against the bird. Her herbs garden needs her back, he was forced into promising that he’ll go with her to the summer festival, not that it matters but he can’t break a promise or she’ll never let him live it down how he’s a liar. The scream sounded really serious and she stopped suddenly too what if-. OF COURSE. HE HAD NO REASON TO WORRY. Girl had everyone in a fit of panic over 2 cockroaches. Even master Jiraiya is frozen. Yeah yeah this kinda job is perfect for Ren. He seems eager as well. Yeah……he doesn’t need to worry too much about everything, he can share the burden with his fellow team-mates. Yeah he might not understand their work ethics completely, like he doesn’t understand why is there any need for him to be clasping Amaya’s hands on his crabby claws but it looks like it fits well. He might as well assign Ren the duty of being her personal big roach defender and free himself of the baggage of having to keep an extra eye out. He has only 2 anyway.

They were having fun, a little too much for being out to grab deadly criminals who could be here any minute. Itachi already talked with master Jiraiya about where they should set traps and where will be the best place for trapping a large number of people and/or ambushing them. He’s done with his jobs for now, all that’s left is to wait. Wait till his eyes melt off that is. Jiraiya went to get drinking water and Amaya and Ren are playing, like kids. Just unlike kids there’s absolutely no reason for him to be lifting her up and around so much. Hell kids can’t even lift themselves up forget lifting each other up. She seems to enjoy it too much too. Ughh……it’s loud. Too loud. She’s laughing too much, he’s not even funny at all. What is she laughing at anyway. He doesn’t think she has told him about it before. Wait it’s the movie about valentine’s day? It was so cliché Amaya is a normal girl so he understands but as a shinobi Ren definitely has bad taste. Yeah he too has seen it……with Amaya…….ugh it was so bad he had to sit through it and tolerate her whining the entire time and deal with it even while having dinner. But she doesn’t have to start talking about it with anyone he meets. He can’t possibly like everything can he.

**********************************************

Jiraiya has great stories to tell. He’s a legendary sannin, traveled the world and is experienced. He is a wise man, a pervert too but he’s responsible too…….sort of that is……..so it makes sense that when he speaks there’s a magnetic aura around him that draws in others to listen to him, especially when he’s seriously speaking. But right now, he understands Amaya but Ren….again….what is so enchanting about getting lost in a ghost city and finding his way back out through decoding a riddle given by an old woman (who might be a witch) and ending up falling from a waterfall but finally escaping. And she didn’t have to lie down on him. Look how he's patting her heads. She'll fall asleep no doubt. Itachi doesn’t know all the nightmares she might have, but he knows how to soothe them every single time. He has spent long nights stroking her head, against his will that is. All Ren has to do now is to make her a bowl of warm soup the next morning. A little bit more saltier than normal but nothing crazy. Things he might as well start teaching early.

**********************************************

Volunteering to be staying awake was a mistake. What’s up with her anyway. Usually she nags so that she too can stay up with him and talk his ears off. Tonight…….does she not understand that it isn’t appropriate for a grown woman to be clinging so much to a man, let alone sleep in his arms. What’s up with the night also anyway? Isn’t it deafening? Why is master Jiraiya looking at him and smiling so much? He’s not even trying to hide it. What did he mean by “one can’t hide everything behind a poker face”. As if Itachi needs to hide anything. He’s open. He says what he means, he means what he says……..for the most part that is. Sometimes he has to deal with his true feelings. Because a shinobi must always know what is truly important. A legendary sannin, an impeccable communication and sensory officer, village’s finest genjutsu user and a normal doctor that has learned how to run over time. A team where everyone must know their position. Itachi would try to distract himself from these thoughts. But the glint from the red beads on her wrist is interrupting it. Red beads that match the purple ones on his own wrist. He wish he left it home. Or didn't accept it. Now someone makes him wear it because so does she why does it matter. He wonders if it's finally time he would have to get rid of them. The purple hue keeps him up too many nights when his wrist isn’t drowning in ink of silk strands.

**********************************************

The morning was torturing. Everyone was feeding everyone. Master Jiraiya even tried to feed him a piece of mushroom, Ren would keep trying to pass him all the carrots, but doesn’t seem to mind being fed by Amaya. If he could he would shove every single bell pepper down her throat. But nop, he is the normal one out here that understands that they r not here for a picnic. They’re here to catch robbers that commit part-time murder. At least Amaya seems to think, she has fed Ren more than she has eaten herself. Well what’s his he'll finish his meal and go for a walk, and see things around. the air feels Heavy. Something may happen.

And happen it did. The house had a secret door. Somehow while entering the bathroom Amaya slipped and triggered the sensor in the bathroom mirror. How? Her slippers went flying and hit the glass on a 45° angle and the door opened leading to a staircase going down. That’s his girl, ahem, he means that’s the trouble he knows of, causing chaos while doing absolutely nothing. Of course she’s the one to find the path leading to the scroll. Right before lunch as well.

And then it went off. Ren and Amaya’s radars that is. There were people outside. 5, 7, 9, 13, 17, 25 no….30 in total. Yeah. 30 people , surrounded on all sides. They r entering the house. Near the entrance. Some of them are also sensory shinobi. Bad idea. It was a bad idea, to be underestimating Itachi’s calculation and Jiraiya’s traps. Simple but so effective. Perfect ambush, unsuspecting, silent and deadly. Just like how he likes them. What they did not like was having to face an explosion right at their face. Whatever it was Deidara would’ve thrown a fit over it being a piece of art……having ripped a whole in earth leading to outside where 3 of the leaders stood. Or they were underlings of the leader(s). Whoever they were, they were powerful, being able to use shadow clones to catch them all off-guard was impressive. They have a sensory one amongst them, who is also blind in both eyes, a real pain for Itachi for he seems to be staring at him constantly, visual paralysis doesn’t work on those without vision. No worries, he has plenty of other ways tho. But he isn’t the only one to be dealt with. There’s another man extremely fast on his feet and adeptly using both earth type and water type. Lastly the other girl who was also a user of genjutsu and a summoning user (birds).

How did he figure out her summoning? Well that’d be a nice question if there weren’t monstrous birds attacking from the sky while Amaya is screaming about what kind of Jurassic world game is going on. It’d be nice if Ren wasn’t playing along as if it was all a game, at least master Jiraiya is serious. Who is he kidding he’s definitely fighting seriously but because he is in middle of an argument over “front” or “back” with the earth-water user.

“Childish, aren’t they…..”

“-well they seems to be getting along so doesn’t matter”

“U r far calmer than I expected u to be”

“There’s not really any reason for me or us to be stressing over people like u.”

“Confident r we-“

He couldn’t finish his sentence when Jiraiya and his toads made their presence very much known. After all, he’d not be tolerating any mistreatment of his ideology. Ren too was able to get a grip on the girl. He seemed to be struggling a bit for someone who Itachi thought was pretty good on handling ladies. It was time for the final blow, just one more to take down and they’d leave for home, and get over with the drama. But for a mission ranked s class, it looks like everything went too smoothly.

“……..Pebble! Sparrow! We got the one we needed! Now’s the time to retreat!”

“Aww Mamba, we’re not done toying around yet”

“ Yeah, Pebble is right, let’s show these freak shows what we, right hands of-“

“ That’s enough! We r facing members of Uchiha clan and sannin trio here, let’s not joke around. Until next time, brats”

So that was their names, quite ironically fitting. Of course it was a mud clone…. Amaya! Wait did she….? Well it was indeed too easy. Is it now his cue to get involved in the game…….getting physical would be a pain.

“Direct taijutsu against me would be a pain no?!”

“ True, but creating preconceptions regarding appearance and assumptions can prove to be foolish for oneself, for I am not someone to be involved in direct battle with just about anyone. Neither have I gotten much patience.”

“ Careful now, u’d not want to hurt ur team mate would u”

“Amaya isn’t an important part of this group, unfortunately u went for the wrong one, a mistake u shall pay for now”

 Itachi took one look at the unconscious body of a very familiar girl, then within a second his iris focused on the view in front of him releasing a familiar swirl of black flames started to swallow everything on sight, now under more control and faster, Amaterasu, flames that can even bring fire. Then suddenly as if someone grabbed him from behind and pulled him, for better or for worse took him a minute to figure it out. The ground below him blew up and the roof collapsed, allowing the thieves to escape. He looked at Ren, and was about to say something but then Jiraiya pulled out something from his jacket.

“Well she’s not that important part of this group, and we already got the scroll with us, we also might as well run now ourselves, to deliver this scroll and take more people with us to hunt them down, until the whole scroll is together it’s not that much of any use, maybe we can even figure something out with this one piece-“

“ And exactly how will u face Naruto? What will u answer to lord 6th and lady 5th? What about the rule of never leaving a comrade behind as a leaf shinobi? –“

“ Itachi calm down we already have a clue on how to tail them!! I can track Amaya, through her bracelet, there’s a chip inside of it, without being captured by that eyeless guy they call Mamba. Also did you really think I’d let them get away with her? Know some difference between us man”

**********************************************

For a moment Itachi thought he imagined that looks in his eyes, but Jiraiya’s smile told him otherwise. Surely people don’t truly trust him, not yet-

“ And it’s not like I don’t trust u with the mission, I do, I know u r one of the best to have on this mission. What I don’t trust u with is Amaya. Man u really have to be a certain level of heartless to be this cold to someone so enthusiastic as her, she won’t even stop talking about ur endless patience and tolerance when all I could see was ur sheer disgust of her, if u will excuse me I’ll be taking a moment to actually start tracking her”.

She was actually talking about him? She’d rather talk about him than talk to him? That girl was crazier than he thought, maybe he himself should ask her about this. Just he hopes that she’ll be ok alone, it’s typical for her to volunteer, but for no one to tell him-

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell u anything, the way u were behaving already made us think u knew the plan. Don’t worry though, not that u look like u’re worried, but we’ll definitely find her faster than even  one of them can hurt her.”

Well a lot of people seemed to be seeing through him today, he didn’t know if it was good or bad. Didn’t have the energy to be thinking about it either.

**********************************************

Being splashed with water straight to the face was a rude way of being awakened. Maybe that’s the reason the man in front of her was called Demon. Well he looked nothing like a Demon, long green hair reaching his tailbone looked well taken care of, and matching jade eyes looking at her, cold, still, and so so dull…….as if dead. He had a pretty smile, if only it reached his eyes.

The man came closer and cupped her face, sighing deeply rubbing his thumb over her lower lips slowly,

“How beautiful, it’s a shame u r so stubborn. I like it however, don’t get me wrong, I enjoy feisty beauties to the depth of my heart”

“ My! U have one?!!”

“ Of course darling! Shall I dig it out for u to see myself or untying ur hands will do? Tsk tsk tsk tsk! How forgetful of me, no can do the later ma’am, will gladly do it myself only if u ask me to urself, just add a please!”

His hands clutched at his own chest, nails digging in his flesh deeper than she could tolerate.

“Stop!”

“Hmn?!”

“I said stop…….”

“My!! It’d be an interesting interrogation with u, I’d rather call it a pre-date planning. If u r a good little goddess I will marry u so fast”

Yeah…… This one was a definite creep, so much he made his underlings look normal, not that they were much disturbing anyway, she has seen Orochimaru. How hard will this be, his friends will be here soon, Ren knows what to do and master Jiraiya will definitely be on her tail and…… And maybe Itachi won’t be killing her when he sees her. Yeah, she should prepare for what would happen when he sees her next, no one will stand a chance against the amount of anger she’ll have to face.

“Careful now darling, I don’t like my woman to be distracted thinking about other men……”

Or maybe she should still be a little more careful. Just in case……

**********************************************

⚠️ WARNING ⚠️ violence

A broken arm, both brown ankles and a beaten up face. It was just merely some make up being put on her, oh how pretty she looked like this. Lips busted, eyes swollen, jaw fractured and rope marks around her throat, a true beauty. The 4 together couldn’t figure out how she was still alive, let alone keep her composer and such a tight lipped woman. Demon’s expressions were unreadable, was he in love with her, annoyed with her, either way both would end in her death. Impressive was how she could stall it. They have never seen anyone capable of healing the injuries caused by their leader, let alone so fast. The minor cuts were already healed, the more deeper wounds would heal too without any external help within a few weeks. This woman they took here was excellent at the one thing she did, if only her teammates could value her as an asset.

Mamba had suggested her to join in, leave behind people who don’t care about her no matter her worth and join them where they’d treasure her priceless talent. But feisty as she was she refused to open her mouth unless forced open.

“Shall we cut off her tongue? Not like she’s talking much for us anyway”

“Maybe we should double our efforts so I can put her under my genjutsu, knocking her out may work too”

“ Isn’t that too much work”

“ Not when it comes to the-“

“ Now now”, Demon spun around in a dramatic way, “ it’s a rude way to be talking in front of our guest, we should prepare for her special treatment in secrecy, so we can surprise her! How wonderful it will be!”

Even Itachi himself can’t put her in a genjutsu, as if they will be able to use any sort of visual paralysis on her. Just fooling Mamba was a bit too harder than expected. He’s gotten an iron grip on her. And much like his name a filthy black mouth, teeth and tongue. For someone to have such high tolerance for poison, he was surely the least tolerant in the group. Pebble was a man of monstrous size, he himself could pass as a mountain, and Sparrow looked like an old witch trying to feed a poison apple to snow white.

Honestly, she made a hasty decision, they way the hide out is so deep in the woods so close yet so hidden, all the traps around and triggers, she doubts Ren will be able to find her here anytime soon. It’d be better if Itachi just takes the scroll and leaves, handling what is in something so important is of a bigger priority. Also if only she could get at least somewhere near the room where the scrolls r. They’d not need to worry about anyone here fleeing with the thing that matters the most.

“Aww darling, u seem worried, don’t worry though, I’d love u all the same even if u r a limbless puppet running on fuel and no longer alive, you’ll be my most beautiful bride”

Heh, he really thinks someone like him can get her to do what he wants, something no one else has been able to do. As if!!

**********************************************

He didn’t wanna admit it, but Ren appeared to be a way better tracker than they expected! He as in they that is. It’s been only 1 and a half hours and they have already found the base. It looked like a normal abandoned place where no one has lived for centuries. If not for the precautions they took about the triggers and traps. To add cherry on top the weather seems to be getting heavy as well. It will be hard for Ren to be doing his job if the sky is drowning with rain.

Suddenly a kunai passed right by Itachi’s left ear alerting everyone showing they have been trapped.

Sparrow revealed herself from the shadows and used her summonings to surround her victims. She might not be as potent at genjutsu as Itachi but her summonings r powerful. She laughed at them and asked what were they doing triggering every single sensor near the hide out instead of sneaking in. Ren laughed a little and replied if nothing they got at least some traps figured out, only they weren’t capable of using shadow clones. It’s a tough technique, but so was the shinobis on their tail. The last thing she expected was to be trapped inside toad stomach with Itachi himself, her summonings getting more and more stuck inside. Oh how he hated people who were only capable of living by their own assumptions, prejudices r a deadly killer.

At least the good part was that they had a sense of team, helping each other out when they needed help was a great trait to have. But Pebble wasn’t the most patient man there. Thankfully neither was master Jiraiya. Directly messing with him after he felt u have insulted his taste is always a rough ending.

“The mountain toad’s stomach is a hard place to escape from, there’s no point in dragging on and trying to free her, we might as well have a negotiation over materials we both want back now all right gentlemen?”

Ok so they didn’t have any sense of team. Neither did they have any sense of respect for women. To be dragging a woman, who’s injured with broken ankles, by her feet was not something Itachi was expecting to see. Her body twisted in ways which could not be normal, forcefully dragged across the surface, all beaten and broken. He thought she had more fight in her than this, he thought she would be able to carry herself for longer than this, HE THOUGHT MASTER JIRAIYA WOULD SHOW MORE EMOTIONS THAN THIS!! Especially when even Ren froze up.

“Oww and u want us to believe u r here for a deal because…?”

“Simple really, no one really knows what is in the scroll but we all can agree that it’s a powerful secret, so u may take ur remarkable medic and we take our scroll.”

“ And ur teammate?”

“ Mehh, we can always replace her. There’s nothing really good about her other than some pet birds u see. So might as well get her replaced. I’ll miss my beautiful to be wife though, but it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.”

Wife………wife? To be wife? Who behaves like this with their to be wife, who trades her for a piece of rolled up paper, who the hell just casually dragged their so called to be wife by her ankle that seems to be broken anyway.

“u sure are bold”

“Well what can I say, big fan of the clan killer of konoha u can say”

“ What makes u think that we even have the scroll”

“ Simple really, Mamba can sense it.”

“ I see how it is then, does he also sense the danger he is in now”

“ Enough talking, I think it’s time to get down to business seriously.”

Itachi wasn’t sure how being so eager to attack was good, when they had Amaya’s half-conscious body tied up with them.

“……..tachi…….”

He knew this voice, what he didn’t know was it could be so quiet.

“Look at this! Wifie woke up and chose to call for another man before me, I’m heartbroken. Particularly when I care about her more than they do”

 “ It shows exactly how much u care about her u hypocrite! Dragging her around like a corpse when she’s still alive, u sure do love her so much!!”

“ Wow why is brick head blowing up suddenly……. No way! U don’t say huhh!!-“

He didn’t get to finish his rant or realization when Jiraiya’s fist landed square on his jaw. Well he did say he wants to get down to serious business. The Pebble guy seemed stunned as well at his speed. Maybe this was time for Itachi to start playing big, it’ll be over soon.

A faint red aura surrounded him, slowly growing brighter and as if almost taking in a form, his eyes glowing scarlet and droplets of crimson starting to pool in his eyes. Eyes that embodies his past, his relation with the woman in front and who he is at core.

 “Tachi……Move now!”

The voice was faint but he heard it clearly. In a fraction of a second he moved the ground beneath him shattered. He underestimated the 2 other people to deal with. Ren was keeping Mamba and his poison busy, but they left Pebble unattended. Or so they thought, everything was now exactly where he hoped would be, right in the line of his sight all aligned.

“ clever move, but u forgot that we r still holding her here with us”

“ And that’ll be an issue exactly because? “

“ Spoken like a true clan killer”

The retort came with a kick to the ribs Itachi barely dodged thanks to his susano. The damage this man deals seems to be unrecoverable, he has to be more cautious. Or not. Like always, even in the state she was in she already has connected her chakra with the 3 there, no one has to worry about healing while she’s there ever. A miracle medic as always.

“DAMN U WOMAN, MY TO BE BRIDE GOING AROUND HELPING OTHERS LIKE IT IS SOME KIND OF JOKE!! Ohh I know, I’ll show them joke. Pebble!! We need to do what we need to do. Mamba, deal with them.“

And as if they were waiting for this opportunity, pebble set off the earth bomb and mamba released his poison smoke. The difference was that when it blew up it was more violent than they expected. If master Jiraiya didn’t pull Itachi back he’d been blown to bits.

But the question was, where are the other bits, other than broken shards of red that is.

**********************************************

Itachi would’ve charged into the poison mist is Jiraiya didn’t hold him back, Ren seemed to have frozen up even forgetting to inhale. Faint screams of the sannin couldn’t bring them back to their senses that the enemies were escaping. As if to add to injury already so deep his last words drowned much around when the sky started to as well. Jiraiya had no choice he had to choose between attending to the unconscious member or facing a raging storm he had no hand over, not now at least, and as the wise man he was he chose the former.

3, 7, 15 he found every bead of red but he didn’t find any hint of the wrist they were attached to. The rubble mixed with the roof and the earth around, he never thought his mind would ever be capable of being so perfectly portrayed by nature around him. There had to be at least smudges of blood or did the rain already wash them away. He saw it. He knows what he saw, the moment Demon charged towards the opposite direction his minions executed his orders, his hands were empty, Itachi knows the hands were empty because he was reaching out to hold them himself. He knows what he saw, he saw the smile, he saw the very same smile that always told him it’ll be fine, they’ll work till it’s not, he saw it. Yeah sure the eyes and lips were a little busted, the face was a little swollen, but it was the same familiar picture just a bit dusty. He won't be giving up. He might need a bit of help, he doesn’t have to do everything by himself right, he’ll just go ask Ren. He’ll go ask for help just after he’s done rummaging through this portion of the ruin. He’s not lying at all. Definitely not. Why would he……..

**********************************************

He did not appreciate being dragged into the cave by Jiraiya. He didn’t care about the interrogation going on there. As if Sparrow will be about to spill all the details. He doubts she even knows any. Being played by the leader like a pawn and sacrificed when she was trying to help. She tried her best. She didn’t ask anything so she’d know nothing. She was keeping an eye out for everyone constantly. He doesn’t know this girl. He truly doesn’t.

He trusted when she said she knew nothing, he already looked through her mind, almost, and he trusted her. So the best thing to do was to release her. The flames were inescapable and they’d finish the job faster.

“Why’d u do that!!”

“Mind explaining the meaning behind attacking ur teammate?”

Itachi had a poker face on. He had a promise to keep, he will always keep his cool and not let his unstable emotions take over his rationality. Ren did punch him but he’s not looking for a fight, he’s shaken. It’s alright, they did lose a teammate and there’ll be hell to explain. He’ll keep his cool.

“Excellent control over ur face Itachi boy, but those hands balled in a fist turning those knuckles white shaking shows ur fury enough maybe hide them to be more convincing. “

“ Tell him to hide his face too. I don’t ever want to see it after we return to the village. Let’s not being him back as back-up, he won’t be doing much anyway “

He didn’t mean to let the snort out and definitely not so loudly. Ren is kind of heart and naïve of soul. He has a long way to understand his new teammate perfectly. Not something he’ll be able to do unless he calms down first.

“There’ll be no need for a back-up”

“The arrogance level is through the roof ehh Uchiha? U will stop at nothing no? Nothing else matters in front of the mission”

“It’s the mission that no longer matters. The mission was to capture them alive. So we can get the information behind their intentions and if more r involved in this mess. Now it’s no longer what it was supposed to be like in the papers. We’ve gotten one scroll, u take that back to konoha and figure out whatever possible from it. I’ll bring the rest. We’ll see if others r involved in this or not depending on who tries to stop me or not. And-“

“ What exactly makes u think we’ll just agree and follow by what u say. Who allowed u to think u can make decisions for us too.”

“ I’m not making any decisions for u, I’m explaining what I’ll do. It should be a guideline for things to avoid so u don’t end up against me”

“ And let’s say we do in fact follow ur words. What exactly will it end in. U chasing vengeance because u r stronger. Or everything going back to how it was because now u finally understand that some plans don’t follow through so u should know when to back out of one such situation.”

He knew Jiraiya spoke what he meant. But obviously he didn’t know the whole truth. Neither does Itachi have the energy to explain now.

“Ren, I know it’s unfair to u but can I talk to Itachi a bit. It’ll only take us a moment. If u will wait it out I’m sure u can see there’s more common in between the two of u than u r willing to believe. There there child, just a few minutes.”

Itachi didn’t like how calm he was, he didn’t like how he was treating him like a kid, as if he was some stupid child. He didn’t like feeling like everything he spoke was a joke when he spoke his mind on a firm ground. Jiraya should know better than to be thinking that he was talking empty. He-

“I know I know, u don’t like being cut off, or people reading u too much and many more……..things but I’m not here to go through the list. I just wanted to say, I know that the whole reason u wanted to avoid her was because u didn’t want her to be in trouble because of u. Itachi Uchiha, a name that’s followed by some sort of another negative attachment no matter where u go, to not associate with it is probably the best way to not be involved with it. But did u ever think how deeply she already was involved? The entire impression that u gave was that u didn’t care about her not that she wasn’t involved. Something u kept trying to maintain even in this mission”

“…….. “

“ C’mon now, staying silent won’t be helpful at all. Ahh ok let me say it like this. U wanted her to be safe right? Not following u around or worse someone else hunting her to get back at u. Now not saying u didn’t have faith in her or u didn’t trust her because it’s something u did 100% and I can’t deny something so blatantly obvious. But Itachi, she followed u around maybe for a reason?”

“ What could be the reason. Can u name one single thing that I can ever give to her? What did I not do to make it clear that there’s nothing I can provide her with. A home, a family, love, safety nothing at all. Can u tell me what didn’t I explain to her? “

“ Now now let’s not get so ahead so fast. Maybe all she wanted was a friend with a listening ear. That u did give her, tirelessly. Ur poker face does nothing to hide how intently u listen to her rambling away even when what she says makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. U gave her what she wanted, a friend a companion and someone who listens. Why r u judging her based on how u think she should feel or be like instead of how she really felt or was”

“ Was……I think whatever needs to be proved is already proved. Was, she was, she felt, she did it’s all in the past. There’s no point in dwelling on the last anymore not when I can’t bring it back, or change it. Least  apologize or to make it right. When-“

“She ran after u because she wasn’t sure if u will return to her”

“ I never said anything about it because I don’t know it myself.”

“If u didn’t succeed in pretending she’s not involved then u should’ve accepted the fact that she’s important. Ur name doesn’t only bring trouble to the people u care about, it also keeps them safe. Not many r insane enough to mess with someone u hold dear to ur heart because they won’t be able to pay the price. Think about now, they went after nobody u thought was important but the one u ignored. Instead of making it appear that she’s the least informed member u made it appear she was a sacrificial pawn; and they went for her.”

“ Telling me these will do exactly what if I may enquire?! “

“Avoid future casualties that results in negligence of the situation at hand assuming everything is going accordingly. Human psychology is unpredictable. Adaptation and fluidity is crucial.”

The toad sage walked away, but he sat there. Unpredictable. Human psychology is unpredictable. For everyone? U mean to tell him that Jiraya didn’t know the consequences of his words on Itachi? Maybe he didn’t. Because if he wasn’t going for vengeance before he is now.

**********************************************

Muffled coughing couldn’t reach any ears even if there was one out there searching for it. Thank goodness she asked Yamato for a carry on wooden clone of herself as her temporary summoning. She surely did exchange places with it at the nick of time but sigh she lost the friendship bracelet. Well it isn’t friendship much anyway, he seems to not really think of her as a friend. Even now she’s still thinking about it when trying to swim against the flow of the river handling 4 scrolls and freshly healed from broken bones. She’s not even that good of a swimmer. WHY did she even think it was a good idea. Well it’s a different thing that it’s Itachi who’s the brain of the missions, and executioner, and planner, and tracker, and…….well she’s not a shinobi to begin with. Dang she really needs to stop having inner monologues about Itachi and focus on surviving the river.

**********************************************

“Are u fucking crazy?”

At this point Itachi is sure Ren isn’t even trying to hide his hatred for him. Not that he cares but yes, someone else seems to care. However it’s no longer something he bothers with. He cannot just go back home and face Naruto. He can’t just return to the same places where he’ll never see her again. He can’t just admit he didn’t even acknowledge someone that cared for him so much she forgot to care for herself. Who does this brick head thinks he is anyway, he came in her life first, he was the one to be hearing her ramble away first.

Who was he kidding, he wasn't her first in anything, he wasn’t even the best one at that. The again of all he was to her is a failure, then doesn’t it mean that he has the most right to be seeking justice for her death. After all it is him to bear the responsibility-

“What do u think of urself huh!! U think I wanna see them dead any less? U think I-“

“I don’t even want them to ever achieve any memorial grave, because realistically speaking there’s not going to be a body to bury, either. Do not compare ur childish crush-at-first-sight on a girl u saw merely a few hours ago with the relation we shared or emotions we felt together. Nothing was one-sided as u assumed. Yes I know there’s no point in confessing them now. But there’s also no point in denying them now either. I refused to entertain all irrelevant curiosity u may harbor any further. If u will this shall be our parting now”

Jiraiya didn’t have the chance to call out to him either. His usual genjutsu tricks, he didn’t even realise until the boy in front of him flew away turning into a flock of crows. He half expected the shock on Ren’s face, but was half not ready to believe that someone like Itachi will be losing his cool. Learning is growth however, learning humans r not machines running on pure logistics and sometimes emotions taking over is normal, letting the emotional side out is healthy, lessons Itachi will be needing.

“We’re gonna chase after him.”

“What good will it bring?”

“ I wanna see if he really means what he said. I don’t believe him”

“………so long u don’t regret it.”

**********************************************

Did he know where he was going? No. Yes. Sort of……? There could be many potential answers. He’s Itachi Uchiha of the sharinagan, if he can’t even track a few murderers that killed someone who actually may have mattered to him what good is he for. And besides-

.............

Is there a waterfall nearby? The loudness of water is getting louder and louder. Waterfalls……. Someone seemed to be mesmerized when Jiraiya was talking about them when he was telling the stories about his travels. She loved water, hot springs, ocean, rivers, ponds and even long showers, water made her happy. He didn’t think clearly when he was already near the hidden waterfall. How will he be keeping his composer if every little thing now reminds him of her. Well if u can call a whole waterfall small.

Then his ears perked up, his muscles tensed. He heard it, clear shuffling behind the bushes. He doesn’t think whoever it is has noticed him yet. He doesn’t sense any chakra from the person but he’s certain it’s a person.

Itachi was swift and light on his feet, he moved fluidly and dived in the bushes. They’re female, long hair, fair limbs and bright eyes and a hard as hell head that just head-butted his nose and started screaming about how he, Itachi, scared her shitless and she was just trying to pass by unnoticed and then the sound got hazy. Maybe it was the impact of her head in his nose that stun him, but to see someone alive after……no no no. He won’t fall for this, it’s clearly a trap.

She was explaining herself. She was very lively and animated by nature so waving her hands and arms excitedly when she was agitated was natural to her. She was not expecting him to grab her both arms and pin then behind her, turn her on her stomach, press her against the ground and keep her there with one knee to her tailbone threatening with a kunai against her throat almost cutting the skin.

“Who are u?........what do u want?”

Simple questions, except the person asking those questions was Itachi. What did he mean? He knows her right?? Of course he does. Why is he so violent though……..

“UCHIHA LAD YOU HAVE ONE CHANCE TO GET OFF ME OR OR…….Or………or no more dango for u I’ll feed them to Mr. chick ken, for……for a whole week!!”

Amaya……..Threatening someone to not let them have sweets when they r about to kill her, bringing chicken into a pursuit of life in death’s face, that high pitch voice, the warmth of her hands, the same eyes confused as ever never knowing anything about anything……..It’s Amaya

“You’re alive…….”

“Damn straight I AM!! I-”

**********************************************

Feel free to skip this part.

She has just sat up and faced him then he decides to come a little too close. His hand supporting the back of her neck, lips against her own. His nose pressed against her cheek and eyes as if forcefully squeezed shut. For a few seconds she didn’t even process what just happened until he slowly started to move against her mouth softly sucking it in, using another arm to support her waist. She got one chance to exhale the breath she didn’t know she was holding and as if her body gave up against his. Thank goodness his eyes r shut or he'll see how red her face was glowing. Pretty sure he can feel the heat but it’s still better than seeing her right. His hands moved from her neck to her hair and as if his eyelids fluttered scaring her to close her own eyes. Is he looking, she doesn’t know what to do, how to respond but she doesn’t mind him either. Her hands balled on the materialbon his chest resting beside where her body was pressed against his. It’s almost as if he let go of her too soon if she wasn’t so out of breath gasping loudly for air. For a fraction of a second though, then his lips found her again and this time it wasn’t so much of a soft and gentle kiss. There were hints of underlying aggression, slight pulls and bites, teeth scraping against the lip and the tip her tongue, his hands were tense against her. She had to shove him apart to breath as if he didn’t want to let go at all, still breathing as heavily as her, voice horse.

Continue.

**********************************************

 “U r alive……..please tell me it isn’t a lie and u r alive…….”

What was he talking about, of course she is alive and well…….she’s right in his arms and awww-

“Of course! Tachi!! It was just a clone!! I don’t know what u saw, but it was just a clone. Aww I wonder what poor Yamato san must be feeling I’ve got to apologize to him-”

“It was a wood clone?”

“Oh My God yes I had it as my temporary summoning!!”

Human psychology was unpredictable. Yet it was something so common for her how could he miss it. He can’t believe himself, it’s the same trick over and over again and she manages to keep it up. Brother and sister are much alike here……..

**********************************************

Ren could sense Itachi’s chakra nearby. So when he just took the lead and went a bit ahead thinking to himself what a hypocrite this man was leaving Jiraiya a little behind, what he was least expecting was to tumble upon him sharing a moment intimately with Amaya. And she seemed to be holding on to him too.

Jiraiya was half shocked to see him return with his head down.

“Let’s wait for him here”

But he didn’t pursue the issue further. Ren has gotten the answer he was seeking. But still maybe he should clarify.

“I’ve tried to tell u both, but I wasn’t given a chance to. She brought a wood clone as a temporary summoning for this mission. She wasn’t as helpless and useless as she made herself appear-“

“She has the rest of the scrolls, if I’m not too wrong Mamba will be chasing us soon.”

“…….. Give them a minute, he also needs to collect himself”

**********************************************

He was half expecting Ren to be all over Amaya the moment he saw her but surprisingly he was so friendly yet formal. Perhaps that’s for the best. Ren already understands the whole situation. He knows that they’re just coworkers and maybe acquaintances at best. He still didn’t like the way Jiraiya knew everything yet said nothing. He was grateful, still so annoyed.

 “ Tachii!! What do u mean I can’t handle them?? I’ve been carrying these and I-“

“ I’m not saying that u r useless, all I’m saying is when Mamba comes chasing us I’d rather deal with him myself instead see u get hurt again”

“ It feels kinda weird hearing u talk like this”

“ Get used to this then, I don’t wanna regret the same thing twice in my life.”

“Looks like a touching reunion was taking place, tsk tsk, too bad I’m disappointed and thorough with my dear  cheating wifie to be partaking in the get-together”

“ If u don’t drop it wifie game I’ll make sure u never speak again”

“ U r underestimating my speed to be thinking u can match with me and I’m not the only one alone here”

It’s true, mamba was a great sensory shinobi. Too bad he isn’t a teammate against whom Itachi could afford to be kind with.

Pebble and Jiraiya had an old dispute to settle, Ren and Amaya were against Mamba and Itachi decided to even the score against Demon and the “wife” issue needed to end.

Not good at directing fighting scenes so I’ll be gently glossing over them here.

Pebble thought the toad stomach would be easy to escape from…….until he got stuck there. Mamba underestimated Amaya and her own knowledge over poison thinking nothing could ever have any effect on him and got sealed paralyzed temporarily after getting anesthesia. Demon wasn’t the only one to be dealing irreparable damage and Amaterasu was definitely harder to deal with.

**********************************************

Well they were supposed to catch them all alive but getting 2 of 4 would prove to be a lot of explanations. Half way though the return journey while everyone was thinking of best words to face the least damage and by everyone it means Ren and Amaya the rest of the 2 were silently going after them. Until they had to stop for a little break and lunch. It wasn’t much chaotic like the last time they ate together, just this time Itachi managed to shove those bell peppers down her throat as a small revenge, one of many small revenge. Amaya was getting a little curious though, she kept quiet the entire way, she gets to ask what was in the scroll right.

Master Jiraiya was the one to open them at first. Everyone was at least a bit curious to begin with. Ancient scriptures on the scroll, who knows what kind of prophecy was in there. More or less anything at all could prove to be of huge help.

If not to everyone then at least to master Jiraiya. It was a thorough research done on his interest. Let’s just say the 106th point said the worthy one shall be in the possession of this invaluable information. Though cursed through and through the ‘wife’ issue was definitely resolved without any regrets. Least to say that the people involved r not likely to know anything in it. Most likely the reason shinobies decided to divide the scroll and hide it was to save faces after the prophet’s death. Later on as time went by the secret was glorified and reached this point. Well, if nothing at least now Itachi can forever tease Amaya for being serious the one time she was serious……… according to him. No she’s not allowed to talk back to him about it, he knows how to keep things quiet. Grounding her from seeing her ducks was the best way to do it as usual.

********************************************************************************************

It's my first ever work posting here, Amaya is my self indulgent OC,

Black hair, purple eyes and fair skin. It's not coloured but it's my own art ✨

She's a medic, but she's not a kunoichi. I do have a backstory for her and I also have another au where Itachi doesn't die (neither does Jiraiya or Neji). She's 2 years younger than Itachi, and is like an older sister to Naruto (he saved her a few years back during the og Naruto timeline). Maybe I'll be posting about her au later sometime.

Anyway, I hope u enjoyed it, though it was too big for a first post. Take care and see ya later 💅🏻✨🪄✨

[ctommy-antigone]

hiiii :3 i'm FINALLY making a pinned. 3+ years on tumblr and Im finally making a pinned.

I change names a lot but for now you can call me Eliza or Doc (or Khads if we're mutuals)

I'm fine w any pronouns but rn im liking she/it

probably greyace & greyaro but idc okay i literally have homework to do

quite possibly the only muslim in dsmpblr right now (if u r in the same boat id love to be friends!)

minor

Im kinda awkward but i love talking to people!!! hmu anytime (i speak french too)

if u want to get the full eliza ctommy-antigone experience i'd reccomend opening ctommy-antigone.tumblr.com as i am quite proud of my blog theme (it's anemone by seyche & it works on mobile too!)

webweave, moodboard and stimboard requests are open!!! u can request any character, dynamic, theme etc. from any of the fandoms im in, or just a general motif from. life ig?? it'll probably be done within two weeks but who knows

zionists + terfs get blocked on sight dont fucking try me (plus anyone being racist, sexist, antisemitic etc, but these two are what I've seen the most on tumblr)

this website gives you a random vetted palestinian fundraiser to donate to

here's a list of fundraisers that are very low on funds (will update this link regularly)

here's el-shab-hussein and nabulsi's spreadsheet with several hundred verified fundraisers

I do NOT support cc!wilbur or cc!dteam!

that being said I will be reblogging stuff about their characters, if this makes you uncomfortable i understand but this is probably not the place to be (I will tag it upon request though)

idgaf abt queer discourse i think ppl should use whatever labels they want as long as theyre not hurting anyone

also dgaf about shipping discourse ok i dont even like shipping most of the time (too aromantic for this <3) but i follow the ship and let ship principle & if i cared to align myself with any side in this stuff ig id be an anti anti? but also i dont care

i might block you if u post a lot of sbi or c!emeraldduo, it's nothing personal i just dont like them

we mostly post mcyt here (primarily dsmp but also many others including life series, sdmp, lifesteal, and more recently whitepine!). ctommy has been taking up a worrying amount of my brain space since 2021

other interests: hypertext fiction, Joan Didion, musicals (specifically ghost quartet, heathers, hadestown, merrily we roll along and into the woods), rottmnt or tales, the lego ninjago movie, alex rider (the tv show, the books are alright but i personally like the show better), web development, and poetry

UNDER CONSTRUCTION: fics masterpost, webweaves masterpost, neocities

I don't have much of a tagging system but im TRYING okay. ctommy stuff goes under #chommy <3, clingyduo under #the clingysss, interactions w/ mutuals goes under #friends tag, stuff i really like is #fave or #fave ever.

[ciezi]

So uh I just got yelled at??

read the trigger warnings in the tags

The bodies mother won’t ever beat the ableist and shitty person allegations after she called my dad with cancer and had to get chemo which fuxked with his brain “good for nothing” and “r*tarded”. Why are you married to a guy you don’t even love and “does nothing for you”??

She also called me a bunch of shit like “entitled” “ungrateful” “you only think about yourself” and other shit all because I wanted pants a size too big for me?? I didn’t even beg for it or yell at her because she said no, I just accepted it and she’s calling me names as if I did?? And then got mad when I said “I don’t know” to going in certain stores and about leaving the mall like?? “Of course you don’t know. You never know anything” “Of course you don’t care. You never care about anything” excuse me?? Why does it matter so much that I don’t know what stores I want to go to??

She also tried bombarding me with shit like “you have no friends. You never try and keep friends. You don’t try and make friends” HUH?? I have fucking friends?? I have people I talk to in real life?? I literally WENT UP to someone to become their friend. She ALWAYS try’s to use this argument against me like what?? She saw me HANGOUT with one of those friends this summer and she has the audacity to tell me “where are they?” “why aren’t you hangout with them then?”

But let’s say I don’t have any friends, why the fuck are you SHAMING me for that?? What is wrong with you.

She also tried shaming me for not wanting to take this medication (like this ones prescribed bya psychiatrist) a long time ago because I didn’t feel comfortable with the psychiatrist nor taking it, for feeling like I was getting worse by going to therapy and didn’t feel like I was being helped at all, and she claimed I went to a psychologist but I don’t remember ever going to one so idk what that’s about??

She drove away in her car after dropping me off and I hope she doesn’t come back. My life would be so much better with these people gone. She’s the reason Im fucked up in the first place. She’s the reason why my brain is disordered in so many ways and how I can no longer live a normal life and need constant ACTUAL help like the correct type of therapy. She has a “r*tarded” son and a “r*tarded” husband that she doesn’t give a shit about. I’m going to unalive myself, I swear I’m going to end it. She wanted to disappear. Let’s she how she feels when someone is actually gone.

“I have it hard!” Ok?? So do i. Just because you have it hard doesn’t invalidate MY experiences and what I go through.

[jybyls]

Tattoos || J.O

Masterlist

Warnings: None, I think, I mean, obviously, r has tattoos. Oh, and also, there's a pic of a spider tattoo beneath the red line at the end

Synopsis: Jenna is obsessed with your tattoos and lets everyone know about it.

Words: 640~

- 📜🎧🍂 -

Jenna's POV:

I love her tattoos so much that I could admire them all day long. That's basically what today was about. It was my only day off of the month, and we decided to do nothing and just enjoy each other's company.

She's lying on her back in our bed her shirt is lifted up to her chest while I'm sitting between her legs, tracing her tattoo with my hands. Her eyes are closed, and I can clearly tell she's enjoying this.

I bend down to kiss the tattoos on her collar bone. She sighs happily at the feeling of my lips on her skin. She wraps her arms around my neck, not squeezing or forcing me down, just resting them here. I smile at her movement and start to softly caress one of her arms to press soft kisses everywhere I can on it.

I lower myself, kissing my way down to her abdomen, where one of my favourite tattoos of hers is. Her hands are massaging my hair, making me hummed softly. I traced her tattoo with my finger before kissing it, I wrapped my arms around her waist, holding her close like she was going somewhere.

"I think that one is my favourite." I tell her in a low tone, probably inaudible to anyone else, but she heard me. "Yeah ? I thought your favourite was the one behind my ears." She whispers in the same tone as mine. "Oh, right, I love that one too. I don't think I can choose a favourite, actually, I adore all of them," I got back up to be face to face with her and kissed her nose, making both of us smile and giggle. "What's your favourite ?" I asked her, genuinely curious about her answer.

"Probably the one on my abdomen. Or the little spider on my arm, I think that one's cute." She showed me which one she's talking about. I have to admit I love that one. "Yeah, I love that one, too. Looks adorable." I kiss her tattoo, then kiss her gently.

I pull away from the kiss to grab my phone. "What are you doing ?" She asked me in a playful tone, with a little smile on her pretty face. "Nothin'." I smile back at her and answer her with the same playful tone. She just smiled at me, watching what I'm about to do. I replaced myself between her legs, pulling her closer to me by her hips, her back slightly arched at my sudden movement.

I looked up at her, seeing a small blush on her cheeks. I smirked, then grabbed a red lipstick on the night table, put it on my lips before unlocking my phone, and started recording my hand, travelling around her abdomen tattoo, kissing it too making a visible lips stain on her tattoo.

I kept leaving lips stains on every single one of her tattoos and recording my crime afterwards. After a little while, I stopped what I was doing. Her body was covered with my kisses. "You're done ?" She asked me, giggling with the cutest smile on.

"Yeah, I think so. Is it ok if I post one of the videos I took on instagram ?" I asked her because I absolutely love posting random insta stories of my girlfriend, and she seems to love it too, plus fans like it too, so it's a win-win situation. "Yeah, sure. Tag me so i can repost it to show even more people how whipped you are." She joked, but let's face it, she's so god damn right. "Well, it's not my fault your tattoos are so addictive." I posted the story as I answered her, then put my phone away to kiss her before collapsing on her, burying my face in her chest where another tattoo of her is.

I quickly fell asleep at the feeling of her hands massaging my skull.

That's my safe place.

- 📜🎧🍂 -

A/n: Here's the spider tattoo I was referring to

Make up your own mind for the others' tattoos, love ya <3

[woozi]

henlo yza beloved <33

oh my god <//3 love the way you put it honestly, the way you're so smart <3 the answer was right there and i managed to miss it 😭 i was lichrally like " ok so river dried up no thoughts head empty " and now it's as if the last missing puzzle piece finally fit itself in my mind jdjsksks that really explains whys and hows of haku ending up there, btw the importance of names and home in this movie was so heartwarming 🥺

also that's so sad to think about though, haku not having any place outside of the spirit world also means he might never get to meet chihiro 😭😭😭 ( unless he found a little something like home in chihiro ( yk home being a person instead of some house ) then idk he can become a water body anywhere she lives, if or when he decides on meeting her. like you know there is someone out there calling out his name or missing him which gives acknowledgement to his existence thus making a tiny place available somewhere where he is wanted even if as just a visiting guest) ok but honestly i'm also kind of okay with them never meeting hddjdj like even though it's sad there's still some kind of comfort in knowing the fact that some people only come into your life to help you grow in good way!/ intentionally or unintentionally helping e/o through tough times and then moving on )

also honestly same 😭😭😭🥺 i feel like we've been talking since ages, thank YOU for even taking out time to listen and reply to my nonsense fr, i'm so glad i sent that ask to tell you, your " im skydiving with vernon " tag was funny 😭🥺 i really enjoy talking to you

SPEAKING OF VERN how excited are you for his mixtape? would love to hear your thoughts!, i feel like he's gonna come out with some emo rock/grunge banger tbh, basing on the artwork and his love for avril lavigne songs hdjdjdkd whatever it is i know i'm gonna eat it up bc i live for his verses in hhu songs

hope you're doing well yza 🤍, and you too after 21st take some time out for yourself and recharge, you deserve it <333 love you 🥺 thank you for hanging out with me as always, bestie <333

(honestly had nothing extra to add 😭 dec is kicking me fr. days are just going by i have had no idea about which day it is this whole month 💀 also i haven't forgotten about the movie i'm gonna dm you details after i send this, feel free to check after 21st! )

MA CHERIEEEEEEEEEEEEE 😻😻😻😻

NAURRRRRRRRRRR i am not smart i'm just one for obsessing over details fjkfjdkfjdk AND I KNOW </3 it was such a good concept esp considering how our identities are so tied up with the names given to us by birth and the names with which we choose to present ourselves with!! AND UR MIND HELLO???????????? also agreed <33 i'm fine w the bittersweet ending (i… love them actually 😭)

ALSO PLS NOOOOOOOO i should be the one thanking u fr </3 lich rally where would i be without ur lil ask </3

AND URE SO REAL FOR THIS PLS FKJDFJFDJKFDJK i also find myself gravitating towards his verses we r besties fr 😋 and u r right once again omg it gave early 2000s <3 WHAT DO U FEEL ABT IT!!! i personally like the band ver more, it feels a lot more raw!! think the way mainstream kr companies (honestly cant be said for the indie ones theyre going IN on it there) produce rock music is so… tame for lack of better word, but the band ver ate fr tbh <33 IM KINDA SAD SOME OF THE SCENES OF HIM IN THE BLACK TANK TOP DIDNT SHOW UP ON THE MV THOUGH </3333333 HE LOOKED SO GOOD

i've been getting to rest a bit until i received an e-mail from one of my professors today 😭 now it's a sign for me to get back to work, i still have more finals and more deadlines for january, but after that i'd be FINALLY getting a real break 😋

AND NO PLS FDKJDFJ I FEEL U!! i hope ure getting to rest as well and that you've had a great time this holiday season <33 love u thank u for always being here 🥰 MWAH

[i-need-air]

Hybrid!AU Wolf!Bakugou Katsuki HCs.

Summary: How would Hybrid!Bakugou would react to being adopted by the reader and their domestic life together. Headcanons and believe me, it's a long one... [2k WORDS OF HCS psjxksdj stop me pls] PLATONIC/ROOMMATES HCS, will do a part two later on with continuation and romance cuz 2kwordsbro...

Notes: I love Hybrid AU!s and I want to indulge myself with this. I barely see these in the fandom, so maybe you guys will like it! Also, depending on how it goes, I'm gonna consider making more for other characters, whachu say? Tell me what you thought and I hope you enjoy!~ ♥

Part 2 here!

× he's a wolf hybrid, and the workers at the shelter warn you that he's feral as you pass by where he was locked

× it seems he was in an illegal fighting ring and nobody could get close to him even if his living conditions now were much better than the hell hole he lived in before

× he growled, scratched, yelled, overall he needed so much help

× normally that would've been very intimidating to you but while the workers tried to push you towards some bunny or dog hybrids they had around, you just froze because the mf said they were considering sacrificing him

× like wHat the fuck?? he's a human being?????? sure he has a tail but what????????

× and you just foken went crazy for a moment cuz you didn't even see him in his cage, he was hiding somewhere under the bundle of blankets he had, probably asleep

× so you just went mental, demanding an explanation because hybrid shelters do not and should not sacrifice a person

× and your increasing yelling just made all the hybrids anxious

× and Bakugou heard everything [who wouldn't]

× i shit you not, the employee tried to explain why

× legit said cuz he's aggressive

× Bitch I'd be aggressive too! I'd bite your jugular off

× course, security was called but you already prepared to call the police, Hybrid Protection Services, your lawyer, your friends, the president, you name it

× and that's when you said you're adopting whoever was under the blankets. NOW.

× always hated the word adopting, but you were looking to give a hybrid a chance since you finally had a spare bedroom in your new apartment

× so like security and the worker just look at each other cuz who tf is gonna be the brave soul to go inside the cage to retrieve Bakugou Katsuki and get rid of you both already

× you're just staring at them like u srs bro? so you just send them to do the paperwork while you decide to go in yourself because you needed to get out of that place ASAP to still contact HPS on this shelter

× security stayed by the door while you hesitantly walked towards the blanket bundle [not so brave anymore] cuz why did that dude have his gun out??????

× but when you approached the bundle and kneeled in front of it you noticed movement

× a fluffy sand yellow tail suddenly came to view and it was big, slowly moving from side to side

× so with the gentlest voice you could muster [after screaming your lungs out moments ago] you tried to talk to whoever was underneath

× you introduced yourself and said you're here to take them home but got nothing, just casual tail movement

× Big Hunkus Brutus Security Guardus™ was getting impatient so he told you to just "fuckin put the collar and leash on the stupid beast" and you just 🙃 fucking excuse u?? while turning towards him

× it was a delicate time and you needed to take it slow, and anyway you knew you'd get that crap off your [hopefully] new friend as soon as possible

× what you didn't expect was the guard to freeze and raise his gun again, but was pointing above your head, not even looking in your eyes

× so you turn and meet a naked chest, scarred, with recent bruising on and big

× looking up you see Bakugou Katsuki, ruffled blonde hair, wild in all directions, red eyes harsh and staring at the guy behind you, only some pants on his form and tail still waving very slowly behind him

× while Chunkus Brutus trembled in place, gun shaking in hands, you were in the fuckin middle of it all

× what you didn't expect is the hybrid to take the collar in your hands and wrap it around his neck, now looking at you, expression still harsh but this time it didn't scream murder [and then grabbed a shirt, thank the heavens]

× progress? making friends? good first impressions?

× na lol you wish but that's spoilers 👀

× the process of adoption went smoothly, and when I say smoothly I mean Robustus Dumbus Brutus behind both of you with his hand still on his gun while all the workers gathered around to see the crazy insane person that adopted The Devil™, the guy that told you about the sacrificing was actually filing the paperwork as fast as possible under the intense gaze of the wolf

× and Bakugou was standing very close to you, btw, like i can feel your body heat close

× he was compliant at first, when you got in the car you started rambling about your house and how he has a room while trying to take the collar off him but he grabbed your hands

× like insanely fast, one blink and firm grip on your hands

× "i ain't gon be your fuckin pet, understood?" he growled at you but made no movement to bolt and run away

× and you just wanted to roll your eyes cuz ok he can kill you anytime but like didn't he get the message when you screamed back there? [also there was this sense of security you had around him or maybe you were just really dumb]

× so when you said you weren't looking for a pet but to help someone and maybe a friend and roommate, he just narrowed his eyes at you

× suspish human, wild doggo no trust

× anywho he took the collar off himself [like extra fast] but you explained that you are going to get him a bracelet or something less degrading since he still needed something with the information tag to have on himself so police will know he's no stray and he wouldn't end in the same craphole again

× journey home was silent, like eery silent

× he just looked out the window intensely, you noticed how he focused on every sign and turn

× you considered asking him questions but honestly with his past you doubted he would even answer so you just started to ramble about your home, stuff you could do around the city [which caught his attention], items you'd have to go buy for him, like clothes, shampoo, any special food, the bracelet

× he stopped looking out the window and just looked at you

× ok he was intensely staring at your side, basically drilling a hole in your cheek with those crimson eyes and it was making you N e r v o u s because making new friends is hard when you're just vomiting monologs, all while driving

× buying things was awkward to say at least, special hybrid stores were rare and for a guy his size it was even more difficult to find anything, which ended up in getting normal clothes and deciding to adjust them for his tail

× while grocery shopping you discovered he actually knew very well what he wanted after a lot of questioning from you

× he finally sighed at your persistent act and just threw stuff in the shopping cart, a surprising amount of spices too

× now for the bracelet part... you decided to spend more on a code that could be scanned to identify him rather than the distasteful ones with name and who owns him

× good thing you planned ahead a long time ago and saved money but you did notice his sharp eyes on you whenever you paid

× and his grunts and judgemental looks at other people with hybrids

× it's as if he wanted to say something, anything, but was stopping himself, which lowkey worried you because from what you heard Bakugou's supposed to be very vocal

× maybe he was glad to be out of the shelter, you know you'd be

× you get home and he follows you to your house, again giving him another chance to bolt somewhere away from you but c'mon both of you knew he'd outrun you so why force him, just let him take his time

× "So this is your room" shook him to the core, legit he just stood silent in the hallway as you presented your house calmly

× sniffing around

× so much sniffing around, tail low while he checked every corner

× once he did decide to check his bedroom, he closed the door leaving you to set everything up

× what you didn't know is that he looked around, shaking with anger

× this is what normal people have?

× sat on the edge of the most confortable bed he's ever had and hoped the idiots of his friends managed to get something like this too

× and the shitshow began when you called him for dinner

× not enough salt, not enough spices

× he was a pain in the ass and as he let go, little by little you started to see him for who he was

× this, this was Bakugou Katsuki, the guy that started to scold you because of the seasoning of the food

× it formed a bond between you, the start of you seeing his real personality

× a Mom™

× slowly started owning the house, although you found it hilarious

× next day you found him cooking breakfast with such an ease it shocked you to the core

× "The fuck you lookin' at?" as he puts a plate of pancakes in front of your

× you just lowkey uwu when you realize he's waiting for your approval as you ate and I swear to you, best pancakes ever

× chest puffed when you complimented his food and this was the first time he mentioned something about his past; seems he had to cook for everyone at the fighting ring he was at, but he didn't mention more

× talking about his past took forever, putting together bits and pieces he mentioned, yet they were so little

× he'd go silent after mentioning his [what you assumed] friends

× if you asked or pressed too much he'd click his tongue or snap at you

× not everything was dandy though; yes, he was a good roommate, but he did have THE attitude

× but not as the people at the shelter made it to be, like he'd snap at you from time to time but it would get better as he'd start to trust you

× ok, ok, hear me out,,,,

× play with his hair

× it happened by accident; you started to have this tradition after a couple of months of living together: movie nights

× he really liked action stuff but both your dirty secret was watching those shitty horror movies and make fun of everyone in them, so every Friday Night was Movie Night

× he just threw himself on the couch and his hair looked puffy and those adorable wolf ears were twitching, you straightforwardly asked him if you could play with it

× [ask if you don't want your hand bit off]

× he scoffed

× silence

× when he nodded and looked away, you squealed and started scratching, just playing with his hair, mindlessly doing so while snickering at the TV when movement caught your attention

× he was wiggling his tail softly

× you guys never mentioned it but now he sits down on the sofa head close to you on a pillow and wait for them god sent scratches; will 100% roll his eyes and scoff at you when you start, acting like YOU want this

× TERRITORIAL AS FUCK

× seriously glares at whoever comes inside the house

× has a problem with every single soul since they dirty his home

× you don't notice it first but he finally starts calling your house home and that's the ultimate progress

× boy had a lot of hardships in his life so he appreciates what he has

× yet it is very, very hard to gain his trust at first

× when you finally do though? he's a loyal friend forever

× he's thankful to have you

× will never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever tell you

× his actions speak for him

× you're part of his pack now

× but seriously wash the dishes or you'll die.

[sazandorable]

About moderating and banning content on AO3!

Okay so! I haven’t had the spoons to do this for a while but I cracked and ranted about it on twitter which is... not... conducive to long rants, so!

This is a h u g e discussion part of the l o n g history that led to the creation of AO3, which older, more informed, and more articulate people have talked about at length and can be found around if you look (I reblog some of it in my AO3 and fandom history tags for the curious). So I won’t go into that here, nor into the practical reasons why it’s not even possible to put that system in place anyway.

Arbitrarily, or the purpose of this post, because it’s the biggest topic I’ve seen brought up lately, I’ll be talking about fic depicting underage characters in se*ual situations, but honestly I could hold the exact same conversation on literally any controversial content.

This is about why you, specifically, if you are a content creator and especially if you are marginalised and especially if you are queer and especially especially if you are sensitive to fiction depicting certain things... do not, actually, want a banning system on AO3.

What? Of course we do. There’s a lot of p*do shit on AO3 and p*do shit is gross. No one should condone that, wtf? It would be easy to do — just periodically delete the entire Underage tag!

What will happen if that is done is that people will re-upload and continue to write it, they’ll just stop tagging and you will run into it with zero warning nor ability to filter it out. Again, this is not a theoretical — we know this is what happens. When I was a teen, adult content (all adult content) was not allowed on FF.NET; it was everywhere regardless, and without tags. The exact same thing happened on tumblr when adult content was banned as well. It’s not a matter of “staff not handling it well” — it just doesn’t work.

To keep safe the people who need to be able to exclude that tag, that tag needs to exist and be used.

Well, shucks. A reporting system then?

A reporting system would operate in one of two ways:

-an algorithm, which would delete a lot of stuff we wouldn’t want it to delete.

-humans, which is... the bigger problem.

An algorithm sounds great. We do want it to delete everything.

Okay. What about the daddy k*nk fics between consenting adult characters? What about the fics featuring characters that are children in the canon but are adults in the fic? What about the fics about teenagers exploring their se*uality together, written by adults about the experiences they remember having or wish they could have had? What about the thousands of SasuNaru and Drarry and other shounen and YA fics that will get written, by teens or by people who remember being teens? What about the se*ually explicit fic written by teens who are se*ually active in real life? What about the fics about CSA as trauma, about healing from it? What about the fics written by survivors of CSA to cope about their trauma? What about the fics that clearly show that it’s evil and traumatic? What about the super dark, harrowing, but beautiful and artistic that I’m glad I read even though it fucked me up for days? What about the ones that were really shitty but also horribly hot?

Well, some of these are still not okay, but maybe some might be. It depends on how it’s written. We’ll have humans moderating content and deciding, then.

Okay.

The thing is, I don’t know which of the things I just listed were okay for you to be depicted in fiction and which were too much. Odds are I don’t agree with you. Odds are if I asked 10 people randomly picked off the street, not everyone would agree.

Odds are, even if AO3 arbitrarily decided on which of those are allowed and which are not, you would not agree with their choice, and you would still be unhappy with the decision. (Or you would be happy, but your friends wouldn’t.)

Odds are, different AO3 content moderators might not agree on whether a given fic qualifies or not — is it artistic enough? Does it show enough that these actions are evil and wrong? Can the author prove they’re a teenager? Can the author prove they are a CSA victim? Can the author prove that this is to help them cope with their trauma? The author seem to be functioning alright, they mustn’t really be traumatised!

You know what I mean! There’s absolute, objectively gross shit out there that is not artistic and should not be published.

I agree that there’s vile stuff out there that makes me sick and that I think is very clearly just ped*philic trash. But there is no way to, 1) stop those from getting published anyway, 2) take those down and preserve the safety of everything else.

If we start forbidding some things, there’s two ways to go about it.

One single, clear, arbitrary rule — for instance, absolutely no adult content featuring characters under 18 (leaving aside the fact that this would not even work for the reason cited above). So we lose all the stuff from teenagers, all the coming of age stories about adolescence, all the stuff from CSA survivors; people who need to write it can’t publish it anymore, and people who need to read it can’t anymore either (and as a cool bonus, they’re told it’s wrong and made to feel bad about it). Depending on whether the rules applies to characters that are under 18 in the canon, we lose entire fandoms.

Or, subjective moderation by humans, according to what they estimate to be gross.

Let’s assume all moderators can agree on what’s gross or not.

If there is a system in place to ban some underage works because “gross shit”, then that means other gross stuff can be taken down on account of being gross and harmful.

Yeah! Gross stuff should be taken down! Come on, surely everyone agrees on what’s gross and harmful.

Ah.

But the problem is.

Here is a list of things I have seen — with my eyes seen — called harmful to be depicted in fiction:

Murder

Non-con

Inc*st

Cannibalism

Torture

Self-harm

Mental illness

Drugs

Racism

K*nk

Non-negotiated k*nk, but healthy k*nk is ok

Spanking k*nk

BDSM where the woman is a bottom, but woman top is ok

Healthy depictions of BDSM

Unhealthy depictions of BDSM

Queer people doing bad things

Abusive relationships

Rival/Enemies to lovers

Redemption stories

A happy relationship between a 17 yo and an 18 yo

A happy relationship between a 20 yo and a 60 yo

A happy relationship between a boss and their employee, or a college teacher and a student

A happy relationship between a 14 yo boy and an older teenage boy, because that’s reminiscent of older men preying on younger gay boys IRL

Se*ual content featuring a character whose age is unclear in canon and some people headcanon them as being underage, some as being a young adult

Loving, consensual fluff between characters that are evil villains, because it romanticises them and their actions

Dark content shipping female characters

Fluffy content shipping female characters, because it’s misogynistic to act like lesbians are only soft all the time

Consensual s*x featuring a canonically asexual character, because it implies that all aces can and should still have se*

Fics about the same canonically asexual character hating s*x, because that erases the experience of s*x-positive aces

Shipping a character who is perceived by some fans as queer-coded with a character of a different s*x

The tendency to ship a black character with white characters

Fluffy drunk s*x, because that’s not actually consensual

Sleep s*x, because that’s not actually consensual

Trans characters not experiencing dysphoria, because that idealises the trans experience

Consensual s*x between adults that are not married

LGBT+ content, because kids shouldn’t see that.

I guarantee you: you, I, and 10 random people plucked from the street will not agree on what, in that list, is and isn’t okay to publish and consume fiction of.

So why should your taste be the one followed? Why should it be the taste of mods you don’t know? Why should anyone get to dictate? What if the mods think your OTP is gross and your NOTP is fine?

This is the slippery slope argument.

Yes, it is the slippery slope argument. Because we know it happens. Because we’ve been there, because I’ve seen it happen myself twice already and I’m not even thirty. Because we know people do complain loudly about all of these things.

And because the second there is a banning system in place, assholes will use the system to abuse it and get stuff they just don’t like taken down using the “it is gross” argument, and one day you’ll wake up and the beautiful fic that helped you come to terms with your abuse/trauma/identity/orientation/k*nk for feet will be taken down and wonderful vulnerable creative people will have been harassed out of fandom because they argued with 1 person who didn’t like their foot k*nk fic that happened to also feature, for instance, a CSA trauma backstory.

Again: not exaggerating. Not theoretical. It happens, we know it happens, AO3 was created literally because it happens.

I still fucking hate that stuff.

That is completely fine and normal. No one likes everything. Me too! Most of the dark stuff is niche and the creators know only few people will like it the same way they do.

(For the record, I get grossed out and triggered by fics about an asexual character who does not like s*x having s*x with their partner to make them happy. Deep in my gut everything screams that that’s fucked up, terrifying and harmful, how can people write that. But I recognise that there are people who love and need that, and I leave those people and their content alone.

OTOH, I read a lot of otherwise dark shit and I enjoy it in the same way I enjoyed, say, Hannibal, in the same way some people enjoy true crime documentaries, horror movies or r*pe fantasy k*nk. It helps me explore stuff that I like to see in fiction, in a safe, controlled way. I’m also asexual, 90% s*x-repulsed IRL, and, obviously, I would never abuse a child. For that matter, I wouldn’t kill and eat people, either, nor would I do 90% of the tamer k*nky stuff I read.

Of course, Hannibal was fucked up and lots of people probably think Hannibal was gross and should not have been aired — but as exemplified by the fact that it was created, aired and watched, lots of people thought it was fine, interesting and even fun to watch.)

You can and should curate your experience and protect yourself. The AO3 website now allows you to exclude certain tags, and people have developed tools to help with that such as plugins that save your filters or hide fics that contain certain words.

But no, it isn’t going to, and it shouldn’t, get banned.