#ok. bye all <3 stay warm stay healthy

[harlowsage]

Strange (CH)

{Part 1}

Pair: calum & Jude Armenta (fictional character)

Summary: Based on the song “Strange” by Celeste. The couple had broken up due to clashing schedules, resulting in Calum’s first ever taste of heart break.

Warnings: sprinkle of some angsty goodness.

Character preface: Jude Armenta is a Grammy winning producer who’s on the level of Kanye west and Max Martin.

Side note: Been a long minute since I’ve had any inspiration to start writing again. Promise to get better at story telling as time goes on. Warming up again.

ENJOY HEHE <333

https://harlowsage.tumblr.com/post/660389189201887232

(Story Moodboard)👆🏼

https://harlowsage.tumblr.com/post/660744341452718080/strange-ch

https://harlowsage.tumblr.com/post/660922684542238720/strange-ch-chapter-3

{part 3 is up👆🏼}

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It’s been a year since they broke up and went their separate ways, not because they wanted to, but because they had to. With the success of Calum and the bands career reigniting their popularity and even placing them on the same level as major artists such as The Weekend and Ariana Grande, all with the help of Jude who helped create their new sound with the last two albums they released.

Jude would never admit it, but she blamed herself for the break up. Calum tried, god knows he did, constantly trying to keep up with her although he was always touring while she was either in LA, New York, or Sweden producing music for artists like she’s supposed to. But due to their conflicting schedules, they had trouble communicating on a healthy level. It was always either Calum calling her before and after shows with her stuck in a studio with her phone put away somewhere, to her returning his calls and texting him a summary of her day and what kind of artists she was working with at the time. After a while, they slowly faded into strangers, once meaningful conversations turning into meaningless small talk.

One day Calum had showed up to their house in Topanga after a red eye from Spain, only to find Jude wide awake sitting on the side of the pool with her feet in the water smoking a joint. He joined her, sitting next to her crossing his legs staring at her painfully beautiful side profile. He noticed that his presence didn’t even affect her.

“It’s 5 in the morning, what are you doing up?” He asked in a tired voice.

“I have a flight back to New York in an hour, thought I’d come out to watch the sunrise while I wait for my ride” she hummed, still looking into the distance.

“I see” he hummed, not knowing what else to say.

They both sat there in silence for a few minutes, listening to the sound of birds chirping in the trees and crickets in the bushes.

“Calum”, she spoke, finally turning to look at him.

The look in her eyes made his stomach twist, there was hardly any warmth or admiration in them.

“I know”, he sighed, the sadness loud and clear in his tone.

“We tried, we really fucking tried. But I think it’s time we accept the evident truth” she choked out, her voice ever so slightly wavering.

“I love you”, he whispered, tears welling up in his eyes.

Jude bowed her head, her own tears forming.

“I love you, I always will” she whispered placing her hand on top of his.

He intertwined their fingers leaning into her pressing his lips to her cheek tasting the salty tears streaming down.

Jude pulled away, her lips pursed and eyebrows furrowed, she stared at him for a few seconds taking in the beauty that is him, before nodding her head and getting up.

“I have to leave, got a flight to catch. I uh, ima be staying there for a quite a bit, the house is yours” she said in an almost robotic like voice.

“No it’s yours, I’ll have my stuff moved out once I’m fully awake”, he tightly smiled trying to reassure her that he’s gonna be ok, even though they both clearly knew he wasn’t.

Jude could only nod her head, lingering for a moment until she heard the sound of the town car that was sent to take her to the airport. It was like a switch had turned off and she was on auto pilot.

Not having the guts to say good bye, she turned on her heel and grabbed her shoes along with a suitcase which Calum had just realized was there the entire time.

He could only watch her back as she walked further and further away until she was gone. It was then when he finally broke down clutching his shirt where his heart is.

After that day, the two hadn’t seen each other since. Calum only showed face to events he absolutely had to, while Jude turned down any public appearances even if she was winning awards. Not entirely because of Calum, although he was an aspect of it, she’s just always been the type of public figure who hates the concept of Hollywood.

When the Grammys came around, the band won album of the year, the album Jude had a big hand in. Ashton took lead and thanked her in the speech. Calum held a fake smile making sure to not waver his tight expression even though it pained to hear her name. But when you date the most famous producer in the industry it’s almost impossible to escape the near mention of their impactful presence.

Jude had the opposite effect on her, not being one for social media, she never kept up to date with the boys ever growing success. There would be countless weeks that would go by where she wouldn’t even have the slightest thought of Calum, until she’d hear a song that reminded her of him which would then cause an avalanche of memories hitting her. She wasn’t one to let emotions control her, so whenever he would seep into her mind she’d find something to distract her until he turned into a fading figment of her imagination. After a while she began to move on, meeting a fellow songwriter through a mutual friend. The two hit it off right off the bat. Next thing she knew, she was seeing him outside of work, grabbing lunch/dinner with him, inviting him into her New York loft, and vice versa.

Calum had heard through the grape vine that Jude was seeing someone. It drove him insane that she could move on so fast, when he was still hurting the way he was. He found himself growing a toxic habit of sleeping with women who reminded him of her. They all had long brown her with big brown eyes, but none of them could ever touch the enigmatic beauty that is Jude Armenta. The boys had to have a serious talk saying that sleeping around isn’t gonna fill the void he’s trying to cover up, it’s only gonna cause a deeper hole. He knew they were right. So he swore off having countless one nighters, to focusing all of his hurt into music.

As time passed he found it easier to go to sleep without reaching for her in the middle of the night. Days felt slightly brighter and his mind was no longer consumed of thoughts revolving around Jude. He was finally getting better and beginning to move on with his life.

That was until he caught sight of her at cafe that he knew was her favorite to eat at, she was sitting at a table outside, captivated by a book she was reading. Her hair was cut short accentuating her heart shaped face, she was wearing cut off shorts paired with some old vintage tee from her dads collection, and some sunglasses sitting on the bridge of her nose. To the common eye no one would even know that was her, but spending countless hours admiring her beauty up close, it was so natural that he would be able to spot her.

“Jude”, he whispered.

…..

Lemme know what you think, and if I should continue this story :)

[xsarcasticwriterx]

Wonderwall-part 3

Summary: While all of the avengers facility may be aware of your pregnancy there's someone else who also needs to know.

Pairing: Tony stark x reader x Bucky barnes

Warnings: swearing, Pregnancy shit, angst, 

Wonderwall masterlist

It had been 2 weeks sense everyone found out you were pregnant including yourself. things were back to semi normal. Everyone was treating you like you'd break if things happened to fast and bucky and tony hadn't said a word to each other. Not that they ever actually did speak to each other but now its less than usual. Bruce banned you from going on missions which everyone agreed to. It was the only time tony and bucky had agreed on something so you grumbled and accepted it.

You were currently sat in the main lounge watching tv with your feet up on the table. You had to admit a 9 month break was awesome. you heard the door open and close. “Y/n?”  you heard tony call for you. “over here” you yell back. you see tony round the corner. “hey how are you feeling?” he asks sitting next to you.  “mmmmmm” you grumble closing your eyes. your head falls onto his shoulder. he laughs and you move your head to his lap putting your legs on the side of the couch. “hey so uh I was thinking.” he starts. you tilt your head looking up at him “wow that's a first you say.” you say laughing. 

Tony rolls his eyes. “sorry sorry go ahead what is it?” you ask. “Well sense things have calmed down here for the most part I was thinking of telling pepper. your going to be showing here soon and I just figured ya know” he says. you sit up “uh yea i mean obviously you'd have to tell her and sooner than later makes sense.” you said. “How and when you gonna tell her?” you ask. “Not quite sure. was thinking of taking her out ya know have her mood up before...” he trails off. 

“before shattering yalls whole world?” you say blatantly. Tony makes a face of nervousness. “sorry...just...honest when nervous.” you said messing with your fingers. “I’m sure it'll be fine...right?” you asked. tony shrugged. to be honest he wasn't sure of anything. He hoped she understood this was never intended and that the cause of it only happened because they felt so alone and hopeless.

You already felt sick but the nervousness of how pepper would react made it worse. You launched up running to the restroom hunching over and puking your breakfast out. you groaned and tony came over. he rubbed your back calmly “shh shh its ok” he said softly. you sat back looking at him “ugh i know im gonna love this little one when their born but my god does this suck” you grumbled. tony laughed and pulled you towards him. you laid your head on his shoulder. 

“hey i have an ultrasound next week they'll tell me how far along i am and we’ll see if the baby is healthy.” you said smiling. “that's amazing i'll definitely be there. Is bucky coming?” tony asked. you nodded “yea he's been really supportive actually i'm so happy he's been so ok with it” you say with a smile. “I hope pepper reacts similarly. you got lucky ya know with buck and all.” he says looking down. your smile fades “i know...really fucked this up...Bucky still loves me and I still love him its just....different, hes different.” it was true ever sense you told bucky he had been off. He cared for you and still held you close and kissed you but everytime he left he used to kiss you but this time he just says bye. Its usually in a neutral tone and anytime Tony comes around you can see him become pissed off. 

He cares for you and helps you with the side effects. Helps you with the morning sickness and cravings, dosent get angry when your mood changes every 2 seconds or when you watch sad movies and immediately fall apart. But hes still just...off. You knew he would stay and help but you wondered if things would be good again or if it'll only get worse when the baby is here.

“ok now” you start sitting up and walking to the bedroom, you sat on the bed and tony followed after. “tell me about the missions you know i gotta live through you now that i'm on house arrest” you say as tony sits next to you. “your pregnant not on house arrest last thing we needed was some dude giving you a sob story and you falling apart.” he said with a laugh. you hit his chest “uh huh sure that was why” you said. you moved and layed on the bed, tony laying next to you. “ok ok, the most recent a group tried to pull a major hack into a major bank” he said as you curled into his side. He spoke of how amazing it was to take them down. How steve and hom fought for control as usual. you laughed and smiled but over all you missed your team.

You missed being on missions, missed feeling included and missed the jokes and laughter and overall just missed being with them. you slowly fell asleep during his story. It was just so peaceful and nice you couldn't help it he was so warm and he was rubbing your back. Tony looked down at you and smiled, you looked so beautiful and at peace. Most days you held your guard up though it was falling more and more from your pregnancy. Moments like this you looked so vulnerable and at peace, he loved to just see you so...calm.

 Tony looked up as the door opened and bucky came in. Bucky saw you curled into tony's side and straightened up. He closed the door and looked back at you two. “hey” bucky whispered “hey” tony said back.

“I guess i should go” tony said ready to leave this awkward situation. “no no stay she hasn't gotten much sleep recently with worrying and ya know puking” bucky said walking to the couch and sitting. “im sorry” tony said “Really i am” tony wasn't sure on what to say but he knew he needed to say something, anything to fix this.

“I’m going to tell pepper tomorrow” tony said trying to make conversation. “Y/n tell you she has an ultrasound next week?” bucky asked. tony nodded “I wanted to come if thats ok” tony basically asked for permission. This was new for him he never asked to do anything but he felt like he was overstepping. “their your child of course its ok” bucky said. And with that it was back to silence

“Tony I’m going to ask you this once and i need you to be honest. Do you have feelings for her?” he asked. Tony was taken back by this. Did he have feelings for you? “no no of course not shes your girl.” tony said. bucky shook his head “not what i asked” bucky said. “No i dont i promise” tony said. bucky nodded with a small smile “ok, now on with that, how do you feel?” bucky asked. He felt relieved that tony didn't have feelings for her and it made it much easier to be around him knowing this.

“how do I feel? uh strange i guess. It's strange to look at her and know there's a human growing in there.” tony said. It was strange because she was starting to show slightly and knowing it was the start to a human a child that was his was strange to him. “yea i get what you mean its like you know there was going to be a child there but to see it happening is just something else.” bucky said. 

“yea...i also feel nervous you know, nervous of being a good father. My dad” tony started before looking up at bucky who had straightened up. They never talked of tony's father after word came out of bucky killing his parents. Not that tony talked of them much but it became nothing after the incident. tony looked at tony before looking back down at the bed. “anyways i guess over all else i'm happier than ever. I know i'll love this kid more than life itself so im just...happy.” tony said.

“how about you how do you feel?” tony asked. “happy i guess we talked of having a family before” he said. “what stopped you two?” tony asked hoping he wasn't pushing it. “Well being in the avengers and nearly dying on every mission mostly. then just us not sure on parenting not exactly like she had the best father and I was born in 1917 then when we finally decided to just do it....she went to space” he said looking up at tony. tony avoided his gaze looking anywhere but at bucky. he felt you turn in his arms and looked down seeing your eyes flutter open.

You looked up at tony and gave a soft smile before sitting up and seeing bucky. You looked between the two contemplating how no one got killed in the time you were asleep. “I should go now um guess i'll talk to you after i tell pepper” tony said to you. you nodded and smiled “sure don't get killed” you said before tony gave a small laugh and left. you looked at bucky “no one died” you said with a small smile. he laughed and nodded “nope no one died.” he said. “so does that mean things are ok again?” you ask. bucky nods “things are ok again” he said. you smiled “good” you wanted things to be the way they were where everyone could at least stand one another. where it felt like a family for those without one.

--

Later that night you sat on your bed watching tv while bucky and a few of the others were on a small mission. Anyone who wasn't on the mission was crashing from the last mission. You knew tony was going to tell pepper today which made you keep your phone on hand just in case. your phone dinged and you looked seeing a text from tony. “hide” was all it said. you of course not one to not listen when something says hide, hid in the secret spots you each had that no one other than you knew. It was originally in case bucky went all winter solider again but after that got fixed it simply became a spot incase some people attacked.

yours was a spot in the bathroom, figured it was least obvious, behind the toilet there's a small hole leading to a whole other room prepared with food and water and a bed that could last up to a month. you climb through still with your phone you text back “got it” and sat on the bed. Guess pepper didn't take it well.

You heard the front door slam and yelling. there was the sound of things being tossed around and door opening and closing, probably those who were sleeping and going to find out what the fuck was going on. You sat on the bed waiting and listening to the voices though it sounded like charlie brown teachers you could kind of tell by tone what was going on. Then you got a text from tony saying “come on out, don't worry steve and vision are down here so she won't kill you...or if she does you got back up” you sighed standing up and walking out.

You walked to the living room and saw pepper,tony,steve,vision all standing there pepper looked and stared you down. you slowly walked in “you” pepper said starting towards you. Steve moves in front lighting pushing her back. you hid behind steve “your ok” he whispered to you. “you absolute whore!” pepper yelled at you throwing glass at you. you screamed hiding behind steve fully. “we didn't know we'd be back!” tony yelled. “Pepper-” you wanted to apologize fix everything “No you shut the fuck up!” she yelled. you jumped back and steve put a protective arm around you.

“I don't want to hear it! Were done” pepper said “pep” tony said and pepper turned around slapping him. you moved from your spot by steve to tony. Pepper took the chance and slapped you. you stumbled back and tony grabbed your arm. “done” pepper said walking out slamming the door. steve moved to you “you ok?” steve asked. you felt tears brewing in your eyes. “guess its over” tony said. you pulled away and walked to your room curling up. A few minutes later there was a knock. “mmm” you grumbled. the door slightly opened.

steve came in and sat next to you “you ok?” he asked. you looked up at him and put your head in his lap “I just want to sleep” you grumbled. steve nodded and stroked through your hair. You fell asleep quickly and soon bucky came in. His face was washed in panic. “you heard?” steve asked. bucky nodded “is she ok?” he asked. steve shrugged “said she just wanted to sleep” he said. bucky nodded and sat next to you. “pepper broke up with tony” steve said. “figured” bucky said rubbing your arm. you curl up between bucky and steve. bucky's head rested back against the headboard and slowly fell asleep. steve wasn't sure on what to do so he just stayed stroking your hair as you fell asleep and looking at how at peace his best friend seemed for the first time in his life.

Tig tag list: @vicmc624​

[the-hate-keeps-me-warm]

kisses and cuddles

wooooooooo time for some more fluffy shit yall i loved making this so much this sorta relted to my weed garden fic but you dont need to read it (be cool tho)

Ruby was sitting in the cafeteria with Oscar and penny she was too tired to pay attention to what the two were talking about penny sitting across from her and Oscar was excitedly talking about something while Oscar liens looking interested she’s unsure how he’s so put together they were both up late hanging out dreading comics and it’s only 7 am she leaned on Oscar and closed her eyes hoping to get a little more sleep before She had to do missions she had a relatively short one today only a search and destroy so maybe she could get home fast and take a nap Oscar nudged her shoulder and she lifted her head “hey don’t fall asleep if you don’t eat you’ll be grumpy” he says she fakes a pout and starts eating the gross cafeteria food she assumed that atlas food would be good sense it’s so many rich folks but no she’s actually had  better tasting mres or maybe she was just getting spoiled eating Oscar and rens cooking “ruby why are you so tired did you have trouble sleeping” penny says drawing circles on the table with her finger “no me and Oscar were up late last night and I only slept like three hours“ penny frowns “while I am happy you and Oscar are spending time together you require at least 6 hours of sleep for maximum field efficiency” ruby just nods “so why don’t you seem tired Oscar you couldn’t of slept anymore than I did” she says with a yawn he shrugs and says  “I guess I’m used to it I had to wake up early back home so I always didn’t get a bunch of sleep” penny raises a finger “actually according to my scans  Oscars brain is only running at 89% efficiency and his hear rate is faster from his normal 48 beats per minute to to 51 it is likely that he simply better at hiding his tiredness” Oscar slumps “penny do have everyone’s heart rates memorized” he says exasperated “yes I also have all of your medical charts on file and criminal records why” he raises a brow “criminal record?” Penny nods “yes several of your team have criminal records qrow having the longest with 22 counts of public intoxication as well as 3 of public indecency and” ruby raises her hands “trust me you don’t wanna know the rest they had to make a new law for one of the things he did but who else has charges?” she tries to wake herself with conversation and it sorta works she also learns some new and unsettling things about her friends but eventually breakfast ends and she starts to get her gear ready she’s loading rounds into one of crescent roses magazine when someone knocks on the door to her locker room “it’s open” she calls out and incomes  Oscar he’s holding a small Tupperware box and a small metal tumbler “hey I wanted to give this to you before you go” he says with a sheepish grin he sets the box next to her and hands her the tumbler it’s warm and smells good “it’s coffee, don’t worry I added way too much sugar for you and the other thing is a surprise you said you don’t eat a lot on missions so I made it for you it’s a bit of an experiment so tell me if it’s bad” she’s grinning ear to ear and stands up from her weapon bench and hugs him “you are the best and I’m sure it’ll be great” she gives him a kiss on the cheek she’s been slowly trying to work her way up to kissing him on the lips but nose and cheek kisses were enough for her he smiles and his cheeks get all rosey  and he hugs her back and says “be careful ok sorry I know you can take care of yourself but just you know“ she squeezes him a little “yeah don’t worry I know  I’ll be careful and when I get back we are so taking a nap mister I’m not that tired” he giggles and looks up at her with a smile  “you won’t hear me complain and uh before you go could I uh kiss you like um on the lips” he says nervously she leans down pressing her forehead to his and smiles she smells his breath it smells like chocolate and coffee she feels her cheeks heat up to match his and says “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now are you sure you want to ” he nods his head wordlessly she takes his hand and gently presses her lips to his its short and maybe a little clumsy but it makes her heart soar when she breaks the kiss Oscars breath shakes slightly  and a little panic starts to fill her did she mess it up did he hate it and then he smiles and it all fades away “that was really nice” he says rubbing her knuckle with his thumb then there’s a knock on the door frame she looks up and weiss and Blake are standing there weiss looks annoyed and Blake is grinning “time to go ruby morning Oscar” wiess says already turning to walk away ruby quickly gathers crescent rose and Oscars gifts and says “bye Oscar I’ll be careful byeee” and dashed out the door behind the others Blake nudges her shoulder “your lucky I made weiss wait  ,god you two are adorable” ruby squeaks “will you stop spying on us”  “we weren’t spying you two dolts left the door open” weiss says annoyed 

 The mission was boring as she thought it was gonna be how normal soldiers couldn’t handle this she’ll never know on the airship ride home she opens   the box Oscar gave to her a note on top says “have a great day and stay safe” she smiles at the note and sticks it in her ammo pocket  it looks like a brownie is some kind and yang leans over and says “where did you get that”

“Oscar made it for me” she says taking it out of the container it smells like a peanut butter protein bar “ooo come on share with me pleassss” yang says putting her hands together “ugh your lucky I’m a good sister” she breaks off a small piece and hands it to yang and takes a bite of her own and it’s amazing it Taste like a peanut butter brownie but somehow better it’s somehow not dried out or crumbly yang seems to have a similar opinion “god if you don’t marry Oscar i will his food is too good”yang says with a laugh  she kicks yang in the leg “I know right I can barely eat the cafeteria food anymore” her and yang chat a bit about food until they finally land Oscar is standing on the landing pad waiting for her she bounce on her heels excitedly despite how tired she is when the door finally opens she rushes out to hug him “how did it go” he asks wrapping his arms around her shoulders “oh it was easy but soooo boring I don’t know why they asked us to do it” she says leaning into him he chuckles “well I’m glad it wasn’t dangerous at least did you like it” he asks sheepishly she puts her head on his “yeees brothers it was great what was it” he unwraps his arms and looks at her “there’s no name for it yet but it’s kinda like a protein brownie was it too grainy or anything what about the after taste” he asks “I didn't even realize it was supposed to be healthy” she puts her hands on his shoulders “Oscar I’m gonna need more of that” he smiles “happy to make some more tonight” he says proudly yang walks past and ruffles his hair “make sure to make enough for me too kiddo” and walks off “how about that nap ruby my teams still on mission so we should have some time” he says taking her hand “yes please” 

They walk back to team alpns dorm room after ruby changes into something more casual Oscar was already wearing his normal clothing he sits on his bed and smiles “I’m gonna get to have two naps today” she sits down next to him and throws her arm around him "you and your team  sure like your naps huh" he smiles as they lie back on his bed "honestly who doesn't like naps I never use to be a huge cuddler but it’s nice to have someone close to you, you know” they lie back Oscar resting his head on rubies shoulder “well I do  wish my team took naps together sometimes yang is a big cuddler too but Weiss  doesn’t like being warm and Blake can’t sit still even so less than you” he snorts as he takes her hand running his thumbs along her knuckles  “well I’m sure the others wouldn’t mind you joining our naps if have to ask but i'll warn you ren sits up in his sleep  Jaune snores and i talk in my sleep” she raises an eyebrow “you didn't last time” she says “that's cause we were smoking  but if i take a nap or if im really tired you can actually talk and I'll talk back” she grins “well what do you talk about”  he rests his head on her chest “usually about my aunt or all yall but Nora has told me i say lots of stuff about you if i'm asked” he says his cheeks getting just a tiny bit rosy she grins and plants a kiss on his nose “well i hope i get the chance to ask but i'll probably fall asleep first im super tired” she rolls over and wraps herself around him oscar adjusting to lay on her arm pulling a blanket over them "well if you can get me to talk I'll answer any question just nothing to embarrassing please" he says  “i would like to know what you have to say tho so maybe i'll try to hold out just a bit longer” she says closing her eyes as oscar lets out his relaxed sigh about half of Oscars communication was nonverbal she liked to mentally catalog the things he does when he relaxes he lets out a long almost high pitched sigh it makes her happy to hear that and it helps her relax her thoughts starts to get fuzzy as sleep takes her she wakes up a few hours later laying on her back oscar laying on top of her them both having wrapped around each other she hears quiet murmurs  coming from him to quiet to understand "Oscar are you still asleep" she whispers no response "Oscar are you comfy" he nods his head "of course I'm comfy I'm cuddling with ruby" she snickers he was definitely still asleep "who's the coolest person you know" she she's "ruby for sure she's so good at fighting and everyone trusts her I wish I was more like her" she runs her hand through his hair "how do you feel about ruby " she asked "I'm in love with her she makes me feel strong and weak at the same time when she's with me I feel like I'm safe and that we could do anything together i want to be with her forever" she's crying now "oh shit I didn't expect him to be that honest" she thinks as tears run down her face "I love you too Oscar"     she kisses the top of his head “you know i never used to want like romantic stuff and all the fluffy garbage i just wanted to be a huntress and fight grim stuff like that but you  make me want that stuff i wanna take you on dates and like hold your hand and stuff there are a bunch of things i wanna do like” she pauses resting her head on his “i forgot you were asleep for a second i'm starting to embarrass myself i do love you tho i dont know when your supposed to say that we've only been i guess dating for what 2 and a half weeks my dad always joked that huntsmen relationships move really fast nothing like holy shit we might die to move a relationship forward right but you make me feel like i don't know amazing and I love being with you you make all my worries disappear even if it's only for a little bit and i'm rambling and your not talking back” oscar lifts his head “its cause im awake and i love it when you ramble” she feels her face light on fire “w-what when did you wake up” he hums happily “around we might die  i think it was nice that stuff you said you can ramble longer if you want what that new gun you saw in that magazine” she smiles “it's a roller delayed blowback sniper rifle its a smaller caliber than crescent rose but it has a longer effective range because of the way the bore is shaped i prefer bolt actions to semi automatics for a long range rifle semi autos have there merits and stuff it's a lot lighter than crescent rose as well on account of it not also being a giant scythe you know i was thinking about carrying a pistol too crescent rose is great but shes heavy and she's also really hard to conceal  even when shes folded speaking of i need to clean her gears a bunch of dust got in them today you said you wanted to learn weapon maintenance i could teach you today if you want” “sure i can learn there's a lot of things oz knows but it's like a big library without a librarian its all jumbled up” she scratches the back of his neck “well i do not understand the dewey decimal system but i'm happy to help” they both giggle at her joke ruby keeps rambling until the rest of team alpn return 

Oscar is walking ruby back to her dorm they come to her door and they turn to face each other and oscar rubs his hands together “so ruby uh I got permission with ironwood to leave school grounds as long as someone's with me so I was wondering if you’d like to maybe go out like on a date” she smiles and puts her arms around his shoulders “sounds amazing sweetie I’m free this weekend where do you want to go” he blushes and says “well I actually have something in mind but I wanna keep it a surprise if that’s ok” she kisses him on the cheek “of course casual clothes or should i dress nice” he shakes his head “i mean it's really up to you but were not going somewhere fancy just a place I think you'll like" she smiles and kisses his nose and he leans up a little so there lips are level "can i kiss you again" he asks just above a whisper her pressing her lips gently against his is her answer they  hold the kiss for a few moments Oscars hands drifting to ruby's waist when they separate  she says "i think we're getting pretty good at that" Oscar smiles avoiding her eyes "yeah um It's certainly enjoyable" they break the hug "I'll see you in the morning I'll make that stuff you like ok" he says "yes awesome you're the best Oscar good night" she says as she slips into her from her teammates giving her knowing smirks 

[autumn-writes-slasherfics]

Woop woop first request is complete I'm so sorry for the long wait but it's here now hope you like it ❤️❤️

The harsh breeze of winter had fallen over camp crystal lake, the ponds frozen looking like delicate snow globes and the trees were stiff with snow. Jason knew that winter was coming Pamela had warned him so. Since his mother had warned him about the torrential snow yet to come Jason had been preparing a small cabin for the both of you beforehand. That brings us to now where you and Jason were cuddled up by the dimly lit fire wrapped up in several layers to keep warm. The undead killer had noticed you were shivering quite a bit so he got up turned to look at you and started using the sign language you taught him.

" I'm sorry you're still cold I thought we had enough blankets but don't worry I'll go get some more and I'll grab some more firewood while I'm at it"

You kinda felt bad for making him feel like he failed to take care of you so you stretched your arms around his neck and gave him a peck on the cheek making him blush in the process. Getting his mask and putting it on Jason blew you a kiss and exited out the front door unknowing of the danger that lurked ahead. You felt no need to tell him to stay safe when he left because he had already cleared the camp of horny teens and pot smokers tho after he left you had an uneasy feeling in your stomach.

-Little time skip-

Once Jason had picked up what he thought was enough blankets (he picked up way to many actually but its ok) he started to head back into the woods to pick up some more firewood. Since he knew about the weather forecast beforehand he stocked up on a lot of wood and stored it in his original cabin so it would be dry all season. Whilst on his way to his cabin he heard the snap of a twig and a horrified gasp. Jason whipped his head around to the direction of where the sound originated and what he saw put pure fear in his undead heart. It was a group of police officers to many for him to handle all at once the officers started to close in on him getting their guns at the ready. That's when Jason knew it was time to run. He threw the blankets at the officers and made a break for it. Multiple thoughts were racing through his head like "what if I get caught... what if they get y/n... I can't let that happen". Sprinting faster, the small cabin you were in was in sight but something had tainted it's fairytale like appearance. Blood. Blood had covered the walls and seeped into the crisp white snow staining it like wine on a rug. Jason's mind was going into overdrive he couldn't see you so his mind assumed the worse. That was until he had heard a blood curdling scream coming from the back of the cabin. Running around to the back, there you stood machete in hand standing over two bodies slowly bleeding out. Jason then put the pieces together.

Flashback to when he left the cabin

You had an uneasy feeling in your stomach and felt dizzy. You never feel like this apart from when something bad is happening. Instantly grabbing the bulky machete Jason had so kindly gifted you you went to go look out the spy hole in the door. You stepped back away from the door in shock at least 3 officers were in front of the cabin. Thinking of what to do you quietly grabbed some pinecones you put in an empty fruit bowl and snuck outside. Throwing one of the pinecones alerted one of the officers and he started walking around to the back. Just as he turned the corner you shoved the weapon into his back and put your hand on his mouth to muffle his screaming. You then went back inside and went up on the roof with a harpoon gun that Jason had left in the attic and shot another officer in the head killing him instantly. Blood splattered onto the wall and the officer fell to the ground with blood trailing into the soft snow. The last officer started to run away from the scene but failed miserably as you slid down of the roof and tackled him to the ground round the back of the cabin. He screamed the most hideous scream ever before you plunged the machete into his chest. You took the weapon back out of him and stood up you had a feeling you were being watched so you look over and see your beautiful boyfriend standing there.

-end of flashback-

You ran up to Jason and gave him a huge hug before breaking down crying. The thing is you didn't like to kill in fact you hated it but being involved with Jason meant that unfortunately you'd have to get used to it. Jason looked down at you and patted you on the head to calm you down before breaking from the hug to sign to you.

"Wanna go inside for a bit and have hot chocolate before we go deal with the other officers?"

You looked up at him and nodded your head before replying

"that sounds like a good plan".

-end of story-

AAAAaaaaaa I finally finished it I really hope you enjoyed this piece and I hope that you're all staying safe and healthy during this pandemic. Hopefully I'll have the other requests done soon but for now I'm gonna go to bed see you all tomorrow bye ❤️❤️❤️

[imagine-zen]

rfa reactions to mc who suddenly starts to feel dizzy and lose balance because of anemia or low blood pressure :0 ok thx bye

Most of theseI kept to pretty vague dizzy/low blood pressure, but I got more specificsometimes, especially with Jaehee, I referenced a specific condition that’soften called POTS. It’s not common but causes low blood pressure and dizziness.

Anyways, hopeyou like this!

Jumin

He was doingsome work from home while you were looking at some RFA papers

Elizabeth the3rd wanted a snack, and you couldn’t say no to her sweet face

As you standup, your head rushes with the familiar floating feeling

But it’sworse than the average dizziness that comes with standing up

You don’trealize you’ve fallen over until the darkness clears from your vision and Juminis crouched over you, panic in his eyes as he holds your head

You try tocalm him down, realizing yourself that you’ve forgotten to eat anything todaywhich led to this

He wants totake you to a doctor immediately

After youexplain what happened, he’s not as worried, but still sets you up with a doctor

He wants toset up an eating schedule for you, but that feels too suffocating for you

So instead,he sets up an eating schedule for himself and asks you to join him whenever hegoes to eat

If he’s awayat the office for most of the day, he’ll often invite you to lunch with him

If he’s toobusy even for that, he’ll have Jaehee call to check in on you

Zen

You werehelping him practice his lines one afternoon

It’s a niceday, the two of you are outside to get some sun

He’s standing,trying to start blocking his movements out along with practicing his lines,while you are curled up in a plastic lawn chair with a copy of the script to helpprompt him

It’s warmout, not uncomfortable, but you’re sitting in the sun and have gotten a littlesweaty over time

Eventually, yousuggest a break, both so you can get a drink of water and so that Zen doesn’toverexert himself

He readilyagrees and is about to run inside to get drinks for the both of you, but youinsist that he should sit down, and that you can get drinks

You’vealready started standing up while you’re saying this

You’ve beenout in the sun for a while, without any water

You wobble,your knees giving out as you begin to fall back

Zen’s at yourside before you hit the ground, letting you lean against him

All you canthink about is how you’d dropped the script that you were using to help Zenwith

He assuresyou that the script doesn’t matter as he helps walk you inside

As you walk, ormore accurately, stumble, your legs start to regain feeling

You explainyour condition to him as you sip water and rest

From then on,Zen makes sure either you or him always has some water and a snack

Yoosung

The two ofyou have been gaming all day

Yeah, it’snot the most responsible use of a day, but you’ve both been working a lot andyour days off have aligned for once

So, yousuggested starting up the old Grey Station console and gaming for a bit, sinceit’s been a while since you and Yoosung played together

You hadn’t plannedon gaming for the entire day, but one minute the clock reads noon, the next it readsnearly 6 pm

After a matchfinishes, you stretch leaning back and suggesting the two of you pause and getsome food

Yoosung isexcited by this, and goes even further to offer making dinner together, whichyou love

He jumps up,wincing as his back pops and makes a joke about how he’s getting old

You pushyourself out of the beanbag and get a whole three steps before the floor is suddenlyrushing up towards you

You manage tocatch yourself against the wall and a desk, but in the process, knock over somefiles

Yoosung hearsthe noise and isn’t far ahead of you anyway, and he rushes over to you, alreadyasking what’s wrong

He helps yousit down at the chair of the desk you just caught yourself on before rushing toget you some water and any easy snack he can find in the kitchen

You hadmentioned your anemia a while ago, but you manage yourself and your needspretty well

It’s been awhile since you’ve lapsed like this

After you’refeeling better, Yoosung makes an easy dinner of chicken and rice

Yoosung doeshis best to drop small reminders after that, he starts sending pictures of hismeals like he used to when you first joined the RFA

If he hastime before work, he’ll leave a packed lunch for you in the fridge with notes

He truststhat you can manage your health without him pestering you, so he tries to limithow much he reminds or asks you about if you’ve eaten

Jaehee

You initiallymentioned a doctor’s visit about week after joining the RFA, and while the twoof you were finalizing the café plans, you explained your condition to herfully

She would sometimescome with you to your appointments, though she usually stayed in the waitingroom unless you were getting a transfusion, then she’d keep you company

She liked tostay updated, but your condition doesn’t change much, so the two of you don’tdiscuss it much

One night,after a particularly busy day, you’re wrapping things up in the kitchen,preparing for tomorrow, while Jaehee finishes double checking all of thepaperwork

Your limbsfeel like dead weight while your balance is wobbly, at best

But you’rejust tired, that’s all, nothing more

Wiping yourforehead, you go to sit down on a chair

You don’trealize you’ve missed the seat until your head hits the wall and your legscollapse, unable to hold your wait in that position

You hear achair clatter from the other room as Jaehee jumps up to run over to you

You groan,rubbing your head as she helps you stand up and sit in the chair that you justattempted to sit in

She’schecking your head, looking for any injury or signs of concussions

She waitsuntil she’s confirmed that you’re only mildly shaken up before releasing astream of questions and mild lecture points

As she’sgoing on, she pulls out a bag of pretzels from the cabinet that’s for the twoof you specifically, handing the bag to you

You begineating, the salt quickly helping your lightheadedness, though you’re still outof it

Jaehee sighs,going quiet and staring at you

She justwants to make sure you take care of yourself

Later, sheasks to go over your care plan with you, to better understand the best ways tohelp you

If shenotices you’ve been working extra hard for longer or look unsteady, she’ll haveyou sit down and take a short break

Seven

You don’thave much of an official documented condition, you don’t feel that your symptomsare bad enough to go to a doctor

So, Seven doesn’tsee anything in the background check he ran on you when you first joined the RFA

And for the mostpart, you’re healthy and good

There were afew times when running from Rika where you had to stop and get yourself together,but Seven assumed that was due to the circumstances

He has plentyof snacks throughout his house, so you’re able to keep your blood pressure niceand high, maybe a little too high sometimes, Seven’s got a lot of chips in thatplace

So, you getcomfortable, think less and less about how much you’ve eaten each day, if you’rea little dizzy sometimes, well, that’s not uncommon and it doesn’t stop youfrom doing anything

Your holdingyour ground against Seven one evening, his voice echoing through the game micand from the next room over, the sounds overlapping

You’ve beenplaying together for a while, and your fingers are starting to drag across the keys

Sighing, youcall out defeat, pausing the game and falling back into your seat

You see Seven’shead poke out through the door frame; his face plastered with a grin

You ask if hecan grab you a drink, maybe Ph.D. Pepper if he’s feeling generous

He agreeshappily and disappears, returning in a moment with a can of soda in his hand,which he hands to you

You reach outto take the offered drink, you feel your fingers wrap around the cold metal

It wasn’t anunusual movement for you, you’ve picked up more cups and cans than you cancount in your life

But somehow, youwatched the can settle in your hand for half a second before slipping, thenfalling and clattering the floor, soda spilling out

You try tojump up, but in the process barely catch your laptop from falling off of you,and then Seven catches you as you start to stumble

He’sconcerned, his face lined with worry as you try to catch your breath andprocess everything that just happened

You start tostruggle, saying you need to clean up the soda before it stains, but Seveninsists you sit down, the floor isn’t that important anyway

After youpromise that you’ll stay sitting, he grabs a towel, at your insistence thistime, then he tries to talk to you

You try toexplain, but there isn’t much to tell, just that if you don’t eat or movearound too much, etc. you get dizzy sometimes

Eventually,you agree to see a doctor, just to ensure that nothing too serious is happening

There isn’tmuch the doctor can do, just a simple prescription that’s more “as needed” thanregular, but in a way, it’s comforting for you, a confirmation that you’re not makingthings up or overreacting

Seven sets upa little reminder system for your computer and phone, every few hours a notificationwill pop up with a note or animation, it’s not always about food, but it’sSeven’s way of doing what he can to help you take care of yourself

[atsumuwoah]

call of dissent

hehe i’m in an apple store rn looking for a new phone,,, meanwhile here’s a short dystopian story i did for english while i’m here...

Corrupted File #735 Video by Citizen 542; leaking government secrets 5-27-2100 A Day In The Life Of Cassy K! Surveillance Video description: Citizen 542 turns on camera, sets up area. Begins talking. Speech evidence here. A Day In The Life Of Cassy K! MY 2100 MORNING ROUTINE :D “Hey guys! Cassy K here, welcoming you to the 22nd century! Let’s start of the year, by ironically, going back in time to the great era of the 10’s, because I’m going to be doing something called a “Morning Routine”! I’ve been watching those old videos off Youtube so much! So, without further ado, here’s my 2100 Morning Routine! I start the day off at a ripe and early time, thanks to the government sirens signalling the end of curfew. An everyday morning here in Area 682. I put on my favorite mask because of the brain-enhancing gasses that the government swears is good for us, just not in excessive amounts. If you live under a rock, our amazing ‘brain-enhancing’ gasses are always a gorgeous shade of dark gray, and it’s the best thing since the HoloChip in my wrist. I look out and admire the scarlet skies, and I stop and wonder why the skies in the past were blue. Honestly red sky is so much better, it’s always warm. I check the weather today on my HoloChip, and I find out that it’s only going to be 135 degrees out today, with only a 75 percent chance of acid rain! Such a great start to the day to find out that it’s going to be a perfect day! I go off to my bathroom and wash my face. Awesome, right? I usually never get more a gallon every day, but I’ve gotten an extra cup in my ration this time because I traded a bit of my electricity for some more. Sure I would be using the extra water in the dark, but it’s fine! The sky would give me enough light and warmth to last every night. You guys should really try that plan out sometime. 

Ah, breakfast. I have two vitamin C pills, some calcium tablets and a special meat product. I recently got this meat substitute as part of my food ration, and it’s made by our genius experimental food scientists, considering the last immortal cow died due to an immortality injection overdose. It’s the best food ever, and I get an entire pound of it every month! I eat about a teaspoon of it everyday, and it really fills me up, thanks to the chemicals in it. I also take some antidepressants and hormone balancers to keep my body in check. Don’t want to be accidentally offending my country anytime soon!

I walk outside to enjoy the warmth, and don’t worry, I’m wearing my mask. I remember to delete those mean hate comments about our government that I see here and there so I don’t get demonetized or killed. 

I do some morning exercise, and yes, I know exercising isn’t allowed because it burns up our food way too quickly, but stretching is allowed, so I do that instead to stay a healthy human! Currently standing at a healthy 95 pounds. 

It’s just like what I say, when in doubt, stretch, because food supplies are limited and you do not want to burn the little energy too fast! I also do a bit of meditation so I can think about the impending doom of our planet.

Then I change into my surplus clothing; a yellowing shirt that says Citizen 542 and a pair of pants, fashionably fraying at the ends. It’s made of old scraps of clothes they used back in the day, like old furs and fabrics derived from the environment. Wonder why we had to rely on immortal animals…

Well, that’s it for today, lovelies! Thanks for tuning in to today’s video! Watch out for next week’s video where I do a mukbang of all the new foods the government has made! Bye for now!

Ok, is this still rolling? Perfect.

Hey guys, Cassy here, with the real reason I made this video. If you didn’t pick up the hints I dropped this entire time, I’m trying to warn you about this ‘situation’ we’ve been in. Since we’ve decided to ‘Evolve Our Lives’, when we decided to ‘ease the way of living’, it’s only made life more complicated. They play our way of living to be a utopia, when really, it’s the exact opposite - a dystopia. It’s just propaganda; a heavy layer of sugar-coating that disguises our government's true intentions. 

If you haven’t caught on, our country is being ruled with oppression, and it’s really showing in what we can and cannot do here. Our authoritarian government is monitoring and controlling our every movement.

 You are always at least a mile away from a surveillance camera watching you closely. They have made a twisted ideology that no one is allowed to have free speech and say whatever they want. It’s sad to see that our country that was once based off the idea of freedom has succumbed to the conformity that we have to be good, non-opinionated citizens.

 Our government cannot even be considered a government anymore, it’s more like a dictatorship at this point, with all the things they’ve done to butcher our legal system. We’ve forgotten the people of the past who tried to shape our future, which is censorship of what we should actually live like, with freedom and security. We need to take a stand, and fight for what is right.

This is my call of dissent. What’s yours? Cassy K, signing off. 

Hey! Get off me! What are you doing in my house! Get out, you black suit wearing freaks! Go away! No! Mmph-”

Camera falls to ground. Undercover spies apprehend Citizen 542. Video not posted, secrets safe. Citizen 542 faces imprisonment for the rest of its natural life, without immortality pills. Video from camera destroyed. This is the only evidence of this event. To be destroyed in 3...  2...  1... 

Video cannot be found. Try another search.

[alyssaiswriting]

Bye

Summary: Zabdiel wants to know why you broke up with him ( i suck at summaries, sorry :/ )

"Ow y/n you're hurting me" your friend Shawn hisses as you pull him out of Zabdiel's view.

"Sorry I just really don't want him to see me" you give him an apologetic smile.

It was just your luck to run into your ex at one of the hundreds of nightclubs in LA.

"You do know this club isn't that big right? So do you wanna go?" Shawn doesn't sound upset or annoyed. He knows how I feel about  Zabdiel and he tries his best to be understanding.

"No, its fine, our friends are here every one is having a good time I'll just hide behind you all night" you nod at your plan making Shawn roll his eyes.

"We can just hop over to another club. I'll tell the rest" he walks off to the 3 other friends you guys came with, leaving you alone and ruining your whole plan of hiding in his shadow plan.

You fidget with your bracelets when something compels you to look up and you immediately make eye contact with the one you've been avoiding.

"Oh come on" you mumble under your breath.

There's a girl in front of him talking away but you can tell he isn't paying much attention especially not when he excuses himself and walks off before she's even done talking.

He starts making his way to you which makes something snap in your head and you're darting away to the door. You push past people trying your best not to be rude but you just really need to get out of there.

You look over your shoulder to see Zabdiel hot on your trail his eyebrows knitted together as he calls out to you, though you can't hear him over the music.

When you finally make it outside, the cold air nipping at your exposed arms and legs and you realize you've forgotten your coat inside.

Also, your friend Elizabeth is the DD for the night so it's not like you can just leave.

"Y/n" you hear that voice you've missed more than anything call out your name.

You heart pounds against your chest and you debate on literally running away but you know he'll just chase you and his legs are much longer than yours.

So you turn around, looking at the boy you love slash trying to forget.

"Why are you running?" he shouts making you looking away crossing your arms around your waist.

"I'm trying to get away from you, I thought that was pretty obvious" you look to him curling your lips into your mouth.

"I just want to talk, amor por favor" he steps closer to you, your heart clenches and you have to force yourself to look away.

"I can't, Zabdiel" you refuse to look at him as he steps closer.

"Why? Please just tell me why?" he's only a foot away now and you know he wants you to look at him.

"Is it because of him? That Shawn guy you've been posting on Instagram? That was him inside right? " you don't answer Do you love him more then you loved me?" you look to him eyebrows scrunched together shaking your head.

"Zabdiel no, he's just a friend" you swallow a lump in your throat "I don't think I'll ever love anyone like I loved you" you confess softly, and a part of you hopes he didn't hear it, but he did.

"Then why did you leave me?" your eyes meet his and you can't help the feeling that bubbles alive in the pit of your stomach.

"I was hurting Zabdiel" you feel your eyes start to burn and you know you're going to cry soon.

"You were gone all the time, and I felt left behind. I was scared you'd find somebody else or you'd stop loving me-" you feel the tears fall and roughly wipe them away.

"It wasn't healthy and even though it wasn't what I wanted, I couldn't let myself continue on like that"

Zabdiel is frowning "I'll never stop loving you y/n, you're all I want" he cups your cheeks and you're forced to look into his eyes.

"I don't want to be without you," he says slowly hoping to get his point across.

You don't know what to say and before you can think of anything the door to the club is opened and out walk your friends.

"Y/n I thought you got kidnapped" Shawn sighs. You pull away from Zabdiel's warm hands.

"No, I'm fine" You wipe your face as Shawn hands you your jacket, looking at Zabdiel then widening his eyes at you

"Ok so we're going?" your friend Elizabeth questions, beside her is a very confused and drunk Jane and Victor.

You look to Zabdiel who's face reads exactly what he wants you to know. He wants to stay.

But you nod "yeah let's go"

"Bye Zabdiel" you breathe out and then hook your arm with Shawn's as you all make your way to Elizabeth's car.

A/N 

I’m probably gonna make a part two to this so let me if you wanna be tagged

it’s almost 3 AM and I’m still laughing at the “why are you running” line, all I could think about was the vine lmaoooo

[ausblack]

RAGDOLL | p.jm. | PT.7

PART 1 // PART 2 // PART 3 // PART 4 // PART 5 // PART 6 //...// PART 8 //

Genre: Hybrid!AU, College!AU; A mix of everything?

Pairing: Hybrid!Jimin x Reader

Summary: As you were studying to obtain your medical & veterinary degree, your professor came up with the idea of organizing an internship - where you found yourself side by side with a sick hybrid that needed nothing other that complete care.

Warning: TOO MUCH FLUFF YOU COULD CHOKE ON IT AND DIE

A/N: Sorry if it’s too short but I was too tired and busy today T.T

As time passed, Jimin started to feel more at ease around new people and, most importantly, around you.

It felt like you had just been accepted into his pack after what had happened, because now he was feeling more dominant and protective towards his vet.

You spent the whole evening with him, Namjoon and Taehyung wondering around shops and buying different clothes for the two hybrids. 

“It’s kinda late..” You said looking at your watch. 

“We should get going, I’m hungry.” Namjoon answered with a surprised tone. Time flew while you were hanging out together. 

Jimin was now relaxed, with low ears and a satisfied smile on his face. His hands full of bags with items that he had picked out by himself. 

“Do you want to go back home?” You turned around to Jimin who was now wagging slowly his tail. 

He nodded and you said goodbye to your friends. 

“Tae, I’m gonna miss you.” You laughed as the fox hybrid threw himself on you as if you were going on a trip without seeing each others. 

“You’re literally gonna meet her tomorrow Taehyung, there’s no need to be so clingy.” Namjoon said, knowing that his behavior could annoy Jimin, who was now standing silently a couple of feet apart with a serious face. 

“Bye.” Taehyung throw himself on Jimin after detaching himself away from you - you couldn’t help but laugh. 

No one could be mad at him. 

You got out of the mall along with Jimin, feeling encouraged by his good behavior while you two were out.

“Thank you so much for all of this.” He murmured with pink cheeks and a thankful look on his face. You smiled at him.

“This is the least I can do.” 

-

You walked back home as a comfortable silence surrounded the two of you, but it didn’t take too long before arriving at the dorms. 

You helped him organizing his stuff, putting his clothes in a small wardrobe that you had in your room before preparing dinner with his curious form behind you as you looked at the fridge. 

“What would you like to eat?” You turned around, starting to laugh at the sight of drool coming out of his mouth. 

“Poor baby, they probably gave you only canned food in that hell. Do you want some fish?” You asked him and his nose twitched. 

“What about meat?” A small purr came out of his throat and you giggled, picking up a tissue from the counter of the kitchen to clean him up. 

“Ok, I see that you like meat more.” You got closer to him, wiping his chin and he looked down at his feet, feeling his cheeks become redder as you stranded so close. 

“You know, tomorrow he have to go to my professor.” You said and he froze on the spot. 

“It’s not a big deal, really. Only a quick visit to see if I’m doing my job right.” You were quick to respond, hoping to make him feel more comfortable. 

“Will you be there with me..?” He asked wagging his tail nervously.

“Of course, I won’t leave you alone not even a second. I’ll also stop him if you tell me that you are not happy about being there. We can come back home or go to the park whenever you want.” He relaxed as you spoke to him. 

“O..Ok. As long as you’ll be there.” He muttered making you smile.

“Don’t worry about it. He’s not that bad.” You touched his cheek, looking at him in the eyes with a smile before turning around to the kitchen counter. 

“You can go around the apartment or watch some tv if you want, I'll call you when the food is done.” He nodded, living you alone in the kitchen and wandering around the rooms. 

He sniffed the furniture, rubbing his face onto the couch to scent it strongly enough, so that everyone would know that everything in that dorm belonged to him, even you.

The place was small, but he didn’t mind because it felt extremely warm and cozy, especially after living in a shelter for such a long time. 

He walked around for a bit, scenting everything strongly enough before following your advice of watching a movie in your tv. 

Jimin set down on the sofa, grinning to himself at the strong scent that emanating from it as he turned on the tv, waiting diligently for you to call him from the kitchen. 

It took you half an hour to prepare everything before calling him to the table. 

With perfect cooked meat and side dishes that only a restaurant can serve, you set everything down on the settee table, feeling pleased with what you had made.

Jimin ran to the kitchen as soon as he heard your voice, sitting down in front of you with a grumbling tummy. 

You gave him a plate full of food that he finished in an instant, living you dumbfounded. 

“W..Was it too little?” You asked him as you looked at your untouched plate and at his empty one. 

“Oh no, it was enough!” He was quick to deny while drinking a glass of water. 

“You sure? I can give you mine if you want, I mean. I already ate a lot while we were out. I won’t mind.”

You pushed your plate towards him but he refused once again. 

“You should eat! Don’t worry about me-”

“Keeping you healthy it’s my job so you should eat a lot.” You insisted until he finally accepted your plate, eating the meat in less than two minutes. 

“Good thing you weren’t hungry.” You said with a sarcastic tone at him before standing up to do the dishes. 

“C..Can I do them for you? I want to help since you’re doing so much for me.” He stood up with you, hanging the plate to the sink with an hopeful smile on his face.

“Of course, I’ll hand them to you, you can just wipe them and put then on the shelf.” He nodded excitedly, happy to help you with something in the house. 

“Later let’s cook some popcorns, I want to watch a movie.” He nodded again with a warm smile stamped on his face. 

Doing the dishes didn’t took you much time, since Jimin was there to help you -   He was having a good time with you thinking about nothing that could make him upset. 

“Let’s wear our pajamas, then we can watch a movie on the couch.” You proposed and he accepted contently. 

t was nice to see him like this, without worries or wounds that hurt him temporarily. You were actually seeing a glimpse of the old Jimin, the cat that he was before being abused. 

After changing in your comfortable clothes, you both sat down on the couch with a fluffy blanket on top of you and a huge portion of popcorns in between your legs. 

“It feels nice.” He said suddendly while looking at the screen.

The movie was still playing loudly in the background, so you had to lower the volume a bit to hear him out.

“What?” You looked at him with popcorns in your hand. 

“To be here like this. It feels really nice.” He cuddled up on the blanket even more - resting his head on the couch pillow.

“I’m glad.” You rested your head there as well, looking at him in the eyes. 

“It’s so nice to rest here right?” He nodded - answering are your obvious question.

He was slightly dozing off but you could notice that he was trying hard to stay awake.

“Are you feeling sleepy?” You asked him as he closed his eyes.

“Just a bit.” He murmured. 

You chuckled at his cuteness.

“We’re not even twenty minutes in.” You said looking back at the boring movie on the tv.

“I’m sorry.” He yawned making his cute white ears twitch. 

“That’s okay..” You smiled to yourself looking at the cute cat that was dozing off near you noticing how cute and beautiful he actually looked. 

“Do you want to go to bed?” You asked and he furrowed his eyebrows. 

“I’m sleeping on the couch..” He said opening his eyes to look at you. 

“The bed is more comfortable.” You said and he pouted. 

“But the bed is yours, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

“That’s why you’re sleeping with me.” You added getting up from the couch. 

He raised his head, wondering if you were serious or not. 

“Really?” His face was full of curiosity and tiredness as he talked. 

“Yeah, c’mon let’s go. I’m kinda sleepy as well.” You walked to your room, with him following close behind and you got on the bed covering yourself with the warm blanket. 

He did the same, taking the spot next to you on the bed. 

You could see how content he was from the way his ears were moving.

“Are you comfortable?” You asked and he purred. 

“I’m going to turn off the lights.” Your hand reached the lamp and you turned it off, letting you meet the total darkness of your bedroom. 

“Goodnight Y/N.” He said with slow purrs in between. 

You smiled to yourself. 

“Goodnight Jimin.” 

You were fast of falling asleep after the tired day that you had experienced and so did Jimin. 

The two of you dozed off hearing the sound of each others breaths - waking up the next day cuddled up under the covers with your head against his chest and his tail intertwined with your leg. 

-

TAGS: @sergentculotte@blackmaylovesfries@xthefuckerysquaredx@thyotakukimkim @chryskl @my-yehet-is-your-ohorat@cjisluckycharm @fearless2tobeme @suga-hypnos @kpop-and-art @mymanyunsaidthings @bangjimin95 @ashxley03@hunkymuffins

sorry if I forgot anyone!!

[kidolate]

Perfect Perfidy Pt.5

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 6 (final)

A ghost has risen from the dead ((pls don't hate me) I cried a lil tbh) ENJOY, one more chapter to go!! also could someone hit me up about my chapter links on my other chaps because I’m not entirely sure if they're working or if my laptop just hates me (laptop and mobile)

r e c a p bc you guys most likely forgot oops...

You let out an aggressive sigh and pushed him off of you so you were straddling him.

“Zen, I'm going back to Jumin”

He looked at you, not a flicker of emotion passed over his gorgeous sculpted face although his mouth had managed to move.

“What?”

----

You looked down at Zen, his face looked innocent and ...hurt. You shook your head, what were you thinking? Jumin had fucked another woman, physically tried to restrain you and even hit you, you couldn’t go back to him.

“Zen, I..I don't know who I love anymore, I spent so much of my time with Jumin, so many memories that I don’t want to just become...memories, I can’t even begin to imagine how Jumin will deal with this, he owns a fucking company Zen and I can't just jeopardise that, all of his employees? What about them? Jumin is emotionally unstable and a powerful one too”

You blinked the tears out of your eyes and didn't dare peek at Zens face, you wanted to tell him everything you were feeling without his facial expressions making you second guess yourself.

“But you, I don't know what you’re doing to me Zen, I feel so alive with you and I know that I don't have to step carefully around you, I shouldn't even be comparing you two” You looked up at Zen finally and connected visions, blurred eyesight and blurred feelings yet despite them, you felt Zen’s sorrow, the sinking feeling of the torso and the turmoil of the mind.

“MC, I’ve loved you ever since you joined the RFA, but you chose him, it was wrong for me to wait for you, I should have moved on when you and Jumin were official, but I was selfish and decided to wait for my chance to snatch you away and because of my faults, I will let you choose, take your time because that is all you’ll need for a decision like this, I will always love you no matter what”

Your stomach clenched and you fell into Zens shoulder as you cried, Jumin was unstable and clearly unhealthy for you, but you didn't want to change who your heart belonged too, you didn’t want to experience a change as drastic as this and you didn't want to be the cause of anyone's pain. Zen, who still lay on the couch stroked your back until you're crying reduced to hiccuping, you did not deserve him and he must know it, yet he still wanted to stay by your side even though the amount of pain you’ve caused him is insurmountable.

Your small frame curled into Zen as you fell asleep, your dreams filled with silver hair and red string.

The next day you had woken up in white bed sheets, you remembered the events of yesterday and internally cringed, you were the biggest bitch. You turned your head to the left and found Zen staring at you, his gaze was intense, almost as if he was looking through you and invading your darkest thoughts, analysing every facial movement and thought that crossed your mind. His hand raised and stroked your cheek, moving down to your chin and then softly skimming your lips.

You continued to look at him, but he wasn't looking through you anymore, he was scanning your face, trying to remember each and every feature that was yours.

“I don’t want you to leave me MC”

He looked at your eyes again, not at you, but at your eyes, treating them like they weren’t a part of you.

“You’re so beautiful MC, I promise to show you off the the world, I promise to work hard for you, I promise to always consider your feelings, I promise to-”

You put your finger on his lips and got up off the bed and reached for your phone, Zen remained silent and stared at your back, wondering what you were about to do.

Your finger hovered over the call button, you weren’t sure of your own feelings, but then again you had some sense of clarity. You pressed call and the phone rang.

“Jumin, can we speak, please? I want to talk to you about the future for our relationship? Ok, I’ll meet you there, Is 10am ok? Ok bye”

You put your phone down on the dresser and turned around to look at Zen’s face, he was clearly hurt, his downturned eyebrows and quivering lips, yet he didn't say a word.

After a quick shower and change of clothes you walked out of Zen’s apartment, you couldn’t say goodbye because he was nowhere to be found and you couldn’t bring yourself to go and look for him. There was a car waiting for you outside and stepped in, on your way to meet Jumin at the local cafe, it was a quiet ride, but your mind was not quiet, you questioned whether to ask the driver to turn around although you knew you had to go through with this, so you didn’t.

The driver announced your arrival and you stepped out, immediately spotting Jumin and his sombre face, you walked up to him and his face had brightened.

“MC, I missed you”

“I missed you too Jumin” You sat down across from him, with his knees touching yours under the table. “I need to get this over and done with so, Jumin, will you please see a therapist? I know it may be a little confronting for you, and maybe even embarrassing, but you really do need it”

“Is that all you came to say?” Jumin asked, his head was downcast and his fringe flopped in front of his face.

“Actually no, I have one more thing to say, I want to end our relationship here” You saw his face fly up and his hand shoot out the grab your wrist, he yanked you up and pulled you around the corner and slammed you against the wall, no one could see the two of you from there.

“Tell me you don't mean that MC, Please tell me you don't mean that” His grip on your wrist tightened and his other hand gripped your waist, you winced.

“Jumin let me go”

“MC tell me that you don’t mean that, you’re mine, you can only look at me, I love you and you’re supposed to love me”

“Jumin let me go, you don’t love me, you’re just attached to me, maybe you did love me before, but now? You’re fucking obsessed. Now let me go Jumin”

You pushed and shoved with your free hand but he wouldn’t give up.

“MC don’t do this” He was crying now “I don’t want you to leave me, I’ve missed you so much, you’re the only person I think about, please MC I’m so sorry for everything I did, I swear I love you, you’re the only one”

“Jumin stop this! I’m not the right woman for you, you have to move on and forget about me, see a therapist and find someone who will give you more love than I already have, you’ve taken a toll on me too, you’re not the only one suffering, let me go”

His grip had weakened and he fell to the floor on his knees, you knelt down and looked at him.

“I will always be here as a friend Jumin, don’t let this convince you you’re alone in this world because you’re not, your father, Yoosung, Seven, V, Jaehee and Zen love you very much too and will always be there for you when you're down, please understand that you can’t rely on one person, I don’t hate you Jumin and I never will, you were my first love but I have to do what’s best for me” You got up and walked away until a small voice was heard from behind you.

“Thank you MC, I’ll listen to you, but I refuse to move on, you are the one who I gave my heart too and I want you to keep it, please don’t return such a dear gift, maybe there is a slim chance I will be able to move on but until then, I will always love you”

You bit your lip, you would feel a lot better if he had agreed to move on but nothing can always go your way, you waved at Jumin and sat in the car, the ache behind your eyeballs finally relaxed as tears fell from down your face, it felt like leaving your past lifetime as you drove away from Jumin, but you knew he had to get better and that continuing the relationship wouldn’t push him to realise the measure of his faults, he wasn’t healthy for you and you weren’t healthy for him.

You arrived back at Zen’s apartment and entered, there was not a single light on as you stepped in and not single sound to be heard.

“Zen? Where are you? Are you home?”

You furrowed your brows and switched the light on, he hasn’t mentioned his going anywhere so he should have been home. You walked into the living and saw him sitting on the floor against the couch, his knees were pressed against his chest and several beer cans were littered around him. How much had he drunk? You were only gone for a short while.

You walked up to him and touched his shoulder, “Zen, it’s me, are you feeling alright? Why were all the lights off?”

Zen looked up at you with red eyes.

“MC? I thought you were going to leave me, I love you so much MC” Zen pulled you into an embrace and wrapped his arms around you, his nose finding it's place in your neck.

“I left Jumin”

Zen looked up at you, for a while he expressed surprise, but then his eyes flicked down to your lips and his breathing had quickened. You reached up and stroked his hair as the both of you gravitated towards each other, the distance between your lips decreasing.

As soon as the both of you had joined together, Zen picked you up and transferred you to the bedroom, he separated from you and looked down.

“I won't do anything with you tonight, I don’t want to make you feel guilty”

You smiled softly and pulled him down for another kiss, it was soft and slow, his wandering hands adding to the pleasure.

You let go and said “Zen, thank you for always thinking of me” He smiled and lay next to you “Don't you think a nap midday is suitable for this situation?” You laughed and curled into him, he was warm and firm, almost like your protector.

“Thank you MC” were the last words you heard before you fell asleep again.

[andyl394]

ANDY’S MASTERLIST

Bucky Barnes X Reader

Happy You’re Here: (Series) -Discontinued-

Summary: You didn’t actually know who you were, rescued from H.Y.D.R.A, you suffered Dissociative Amnesia. The Avengers helped you, now was time for you to help Bucky.

Why: (One Shot) 

Request: tony is reader’s father and some angst? Bucky and reader a little conection but not fallen in love just like ‘hey i kind of feel confortable around you’. bye - Anon

10 Signs an Introvert Likes you: (Series) -Complete-

Summary: Bucky wasn’t the type of guy to show his feelings and neither were you the one to notice subtle things, until you come across this video; A guidance that may help you discover rather The Winter Soldier likes you or not.

Sleepy Birthday-boy: (Drabble)

Summary: You couldn’t spend your whole day with Bucky, but there was still a couple minutes left.

Introverted: (One Shot) -NSFW-

Request:  I love your introvert series so far and I’m looking forward to future chapters. I was wondering if you could do a one shot or something with a strong-willed introvert fem!reader x Bucky? A lot of introvert readers aren’t given very many dimensions and I was hoping you could make it awesome with fluff and possible smut ☆〜（ゝ。∂）-

Taken Care of: (One Shot) -Bucky x Reader x Steve-

Request:  Can you take a request for me? Reader is sick and Steve or Bucky (or both, omg) take care of me/her? It can be short. I just need… You know

Blind Date: (One Shot)

Request:  Can I get an valentine’s day Bucky x Reader, pls? It can even be a drabble maybe some fluff or sexual tension? u choose <3  - Anon

Club Security: (Series) -Mafia-discontinued- 

Summary: Being an almost Chief of the Italian Mafia wasn’t all that good, sometimes things would get boring. That was one of the motives that made Bucky create a “secret” club; and just as every important and rich establishment, there should be someone to take care of it. And that someone happens to be you.

April Fools: (One Shot)

Request: is April fools and reader is a prankster and is playing pranks in everyone except Bucky and they go out on a date in the day to escape the results? - Anon

Problem: (One Shot) -NSFW-

Summary: You weren’t a good girl, you were a problem - as the team always said to him -, and Bucky knew that, but he simply didn’t care.

Festive Prompt: (One Shot)

Request:  13, 47 and 42 Bucky x reader? - Anon 13. “You didn’t really think I’d let you spend Christmas alone, did you?” 42. “Oi! That’s my hot chocolate!”47. “You made gingerbread zombies?”

Ashamed: (One Shot) (plus size reader)

Summary: Sneaking around with the Super Soldier wasn’t easy and all you wanted was to stop it, but what do you do when Bucky doesn’t seem to want the same thing as you?

Birthday girl: (One Shot) -NSFW-

Summary: It was your birthday, and Bucky had a hell of a gift.

Hyphothetically: (Vday One Shot)

Summary: Not wanting to spend Valentine’s day alone, your friend convinces you to go out, ditching you in thirty minutes of chatter. Well, at the end of the night, you figured that being ditched wasn’t all that bad as you seemed to have found a new companion.

Oh no, that’s bad: (Social Media au)

Summary: You’re a college student, you’re mad angry, Bucky ruins your paper, that’s not good is it?

But it’s better if you do: (Social Media au)

Summary: Working as a dancer to pay for your college in the barely legal cabaret club that your friend helped run wasn’t as bad as it sounded like, especially when you get to meet a blue-eyed masked devil who is definitely much sweeter than your idiotic class-mate, James Barnes, who also had blue eyes and wait his voice sounds similar and his hair sure looks like- oh no.

Oh no, that’s good: (One Shot) -NSFW-

summary: Bucky had a plan: all he had to do was talk about his feelings for you, tell you how he felt and how he wanted to be loved. That was all, just talking, no action, just talking. But it was getting hard to follow the plan when you kept looking at him like that.

Steve Rogers X Reader

Light: (One Shot)

Request: Hey, could you do a 20. “Hug me so I can Get warm.” and a 21. “You’re like a heater!” Steve Rogers X Reader? Pls? - Anon

Yes: (One Shot) -NSFW-

Request: hellllloooo, i love your writing and i have a request. can you make something with reader X steve with this chat: “x1: wait, how do you know that steve is great in bed?” “x2: we share a wall, so either he’s amazing in bed or y/n just likes to agree with him a lot.” “x2: loudly, and a lot.” - Anon

Sick: (One Shot)

Request: Hi gorgeous! Can I have a Steve/Fem!Reader where she’s his girlfriend he realises something is happening to her from small details(like…Skin and hair colour fading,a strange way to approach food.),and the little things grow to big things when she moves in with him (she’s a lot skinnier than what seems healthy,faints constantly,never eats with him,hits gym more than necessary…) ‘til he find out she’s anorexic and decided to help her? But can you do it without the whole pity party angst?Without the"I’m ugly and I want to be beautiful"line that is in every F one of the stories with this theme,but with reader being a model(that’s how they met)and living under pressure to be 'perfect’ to the media and to Steve?I think of something in the lines of wanting to be in control and LOOK like she’s in control of her life.You could end with him convincing her of finding help, no unrealistic accepting herself for him. Thanks, love.

Taken Care of: (One Shot) -Bucky x reader x Steve-

Request:  Can you take a request for me? Reader is sick and Steve or Bucky (or both, omg) take care of me/her? It can be short. I just need… You know

Wipe the Machines: (One Shot) -NSFW-

Summary: Captain America thought you hated him, but you just wanted him to wipe the damn sweat off the Gym’s machines.

Cutecumber: (Vday One Shot) -soulmate au-

Summary: A normal day at work was rather busy, even more so when it’s Valentine’s Day. Always playing Cupid, you never thought that you would finally find your soulmate on such a chaotic day.

Tony Stark X Reader

Father!Why: (One Shot)

tony is reader’s father and some angst? Bucky and reader a little conection but not fallen in love just like ‘hey i kind of feel confortable around you’. bye - Anon

Peter Parker X Reader

Familiarity: (Part 1 | Part 2)

Requested:  a one-shot or something like that about the reader being Peter’s classrommate but for some reason being called to the avengers, and he is there in his suit and he keep seeing her in the school wondering why she was there? pls? - Anon

Not enough: (One Shot) -plus size reader-

Requested: Well, I’m shy and this is a weird request so… Yeah. Well, I was wondering, could you do a Peter Parker X Reader with angst? Like. ANGST. STUFF THAT FIC WITH PURE TEENAGE ANGST OR SOMETHING AND THEN IT ENDS WITH SOME FLUFF? Thank you! - Anon

Natasha Romanoff X Reader

Clumsy Little Thing: (One Shot)

Summary:  It was Valentine’s Day, and yet, you would have to stay inside the Avenger’s Tower. But would you be alone, though?

Wanda Maximoff X Reader

Oblivious: (Vday One Shot)

Summary: Wanda just wanted to call you on a date, but as Stark says, you’re really oblivious to someone with 8 PhDs.

Loki Odinson x Reader

I read it in a book: (One Shot)

Summary: When you start to avoid the God of mischief, he asks himself what had he done to cause that.

Steve Harrington X Reader

Festive prompt: (One Shot)

Request:  From the festive prompt list, 1, 2 and 35 Steve Harrington x Reader? 1. “Is that mistletoe?” 2.“Are you- are you pulling down mistletoe?” 35.“You invited how many people over for Christmas dinner??”

The Hargrove’s Sister: (Part one | Part two | Part three)

Summary: All you wanted was to protect your step-sister when you found yourself in a junkyard helping a bunch of middle schoolers to fight an interdimensional slug that turned into a dog and was thirsty for blood. Oh, and Steve Harrington was there too, not that it was a big deal.

Little Matchmakers: (Vday One Shot)

Summary: It was movie night and coincidently, Valentine’s Day, and it seemed as if the kids had decided to take the Cupid’s job.

Billy Hargrove X Reader

Fuck Away the Pain: (One Shot) -NSFW-

Summary: All you wanted was to forget your excuse of a ex-boyfried for one night, you just wanted a distraction. Luckily, the new kid seemed more than willing to help you out.

Tutor: (One Shot)

Summary: With your failing math grades, your boyfriend decided to take it on him to tutor you. All you had to do was follow the rules of no kissing until you learned the material. You could do that, right?

Diana Prince X Reader

Festive Prompt: (One Shot)

Request:   Hello, I’d really be happy if you could write something with 12 and 18 DIANA X READER, in which reader really loves Christmas but Diana never really thought about it and she has a crush on reader, so she goes the extra mile and decorated the whole League’s mansion. Thank you! - Anon 12. How on earth did you get tinsel there? 18. You didn’t have to go through all this trouble, you know.

Dean Winchester X Reader

Stretching: (One Shot) -NSFW-

Summary: It was hard to keep your body relaxed between hunting and researching the whole day, but you found your way, and - apparently -, so did Dean Winchester.

Can’t Take My Eyes Off You: (One Shot)

Summary: Your birthday was coming up, and living in a world with Soulmates, turning 22 without one wasn’t always a good sign.

The Marauders 

Sneak out: (One Shot)

Summary:  Ok, I can’t be the only one that when read that junk called Cursed Child thought how they tried to escape and why, soo….. YEP. Hope you like this drabble <3

[tintoki]

april 9th, 2017, early morning. 1:28am -- start

sitting in this room, listening to IU’s ‘through the night’ while being surrounded by a firefly-light type glow.

this is my favorite part about the weekends. late night, single room, comfortable bed with lots of pillows and stuffed animals, calm music, and this… glow. it warms my heart. my laptop battery is 5%; i’m too comfortable to move and get the charger. it’s almost 1:30, but i still want to sing to this song; i still open my mouth to sing as quietly as i can, even though I want to sing as loudly as my heart yearns. i’m afraid someone might hear me.

i think about today. i was supposed to start doing my readings that i procrastinated on for the whole day, but i’m still procrastinating by deciding to write this. i think it’s healthy to do this, so i will. health comes first.

anyway, i think about today. i’m not sure what i feel. sad? no, more like– down?? i feel like i’ve been running nonstop since forever. mentally drained. i feel like spring break was all just a dream; the things that happened a week ago don’t feel real. being back in this room, in this place, with the setting looking the exact same way it did 2-3 weeks ago on a weekend is so…. suffocating, really.

it’s really…. suffocating.

I feel like I’ll cry. I miss…. home? I miss….. my family?

But sometimes, I don’t miss my family. I miss the idea, the endless recall of my thoughts, of my family being a family.

At this point, i’m tearing up. we. are. broken. (?)

I miss the stars from back home, too. I can’t see them here, its too hard to see them. only the moon is on my side these days.

Ah~ ahh– 0%.

I hum the song as I tear. Bring me back….

why is nobody ever here when i need someone. no– rather, how come i can’t bring myself the courage to ask someone for help?

–but it’s okay. it’s always been like that. tomorrow morning when i wake up, ill probably feel shitty at first, but then it’ll feel like nothing ever happened all over again.

at least it’s not as bad as it used to be anymore. not recently, at least. not in the past 4 months.

i think it’s normal – for people our age to be like this, but i also think a lot of people realized it pretty late; there are others like me who realized it too early. 

anyway, I woke up today at a good time. 10am. I watched disney cartoons and ate pizza in bed with my hair up in a small bun. later, I got ready for volunteering, 1-5pm. I tried my best with the kids again. learned a few things. I met and made some new friends today, but also said goodbye to a few others. today was just a constant reminder that things never really stay the same and are constantly changing.

I already know this. i’ve known it since 6th grade. I know, I know. you don’t have to remind me. I can take it – I can accept it now. Don’t worry.

I stopped tearing up awhile back. I’m fine again.

it’s 2:06am now. I changed the song to the acoustic ver. of Monsta X’s ‘beautiful.’

we left volunteering kind of late. I guess we were having too much fun. I was saying good bye. I looked back, then looked forward.

we went to walmart afterwards, xD. we had fun laughing about bts and summer memories. i got dropped off at home. i didn’t see anyone in the house, so i ate while watching my cartoons again. i hummed as i cleaned the kitchen. I went to my room to rest on my bed. after an hour or two, I called home. I facetimed nikki, isabel, and my old man. mama cut her hair, it looks cute on her. she smiled, and I wanted to cry.

o fck, not again…………………………….

I was as kind as I could be; I missed them, even though it’s only been a week. I missed them, even if they didn’t miss me. I told them I wanted to be home. I wanted to help them out with the chores and stuff. I just wanted to be with them again.

do I have to endure 3 months of this again?

sometimes I wonder, why did I pick such a far away school, man. I don’t regret it, but sometimes I just wonder, how could I have made this experience feel less painful over the years?

I always get a little jealous whenever my roommates’ families come over to give them food or just to pick them up. they invite me out, but I think i’d feel worse if I came along with them.

anyway, the point is that this is not just about feeling homesick; it’s not about school this time, or something stupid. it’s about something my dad said that bothered me, because it reminded me of something i didn’t want to hear.

I had fun the past couple of days - a lot of fun, a lot of smiling, a lot of stress. but, in the end, there are things that will always haunt me, of course.

Lol, i’m probably going to wake up tomorrow and read this shit and then feel really stupid that I wrote all this again. Eh, whatever. sometimes sleep is the best solution.

hmmmmm. After I facetimed them, I went to wash my dishes and then took a shower. I think after that, I watched BTS stuff and downloaded a lot of music, my muse of health and mind.

ok. i’m hungry now (haha.). and kind of sleepy. i’m going to try reading my hw, and then before I sleep, I will read manga. I miss reading actual books though. I want to go to barnes&nobles someday just to read there, as if it were a library. I hope I can sleep in tomorrow (today).

–end: 2:48am.–

post notes:

I want it, but I don’t want it. i’m sorry.

Girls have complex brains, haha. well, at least mine is.

sometimes i wonder if i’ve changed, too. did I manage to take a step forward after having taken so many steps backward?

[handmaidstale-ff-blog]

Handmaids Tale- Alternate Ending

Back then, I had no idea it would be the last time I or anyone else who lived in what was formerly known as the United States would smile. Luke and I were sitting on a park bench while Hannah was playing on the slide. We were talking about doing renovations for our kitchen.  I remember his arm was brushed up against my back and his warm embrace felt comforting. “Look, there’s a bunny over in the bush,” Luke said, and pointed to the rosebush left to where we were sitting.  This month there was a new doctor who had a huge plastic looking smile with dimples. I hadn’t seen anyone smile in a very long time, yet alone having dimples and smiling.

  3-2-1, my mind went straight back to reality. This doctor would probably had no interest in helping me get pregnant, unlike the doctor last month. I told him no because breaking the rules is dangerous. This doctor had a clean cut beard and swooping light brown hair. His small eyes were crystal clear blue and his nose was pointy and large. It seemed like they placed me in an entirely new doctor’s office than they did last month. My white wings made it hard to see the exact details of the room I was in. From the small part of it I could see, the room looked fully white and almost too bare. It reminded me of a mental asylum from the olden days.

   The doctor walked quickly into the room, still with that same  peculiar look on his face.  “You’re pregnant ”, he told me. I was so glad that my efforts have finally worked and I wasn’t going to be shipped off to the colonies with the unwomen. Much of my time will be spent in birthing classes and then I’ll be shipped off another posting and they’ll see if I can do it again. I get to stay alive for my daughter. Maybe I’ll reunite with her someday and see the light from there. It’s dangerous to have hope in this world but, right then I did. I touched my tiny baby bump and wanted to feel this living, breathing thing inside of me. I couldn’t believe this was actually happening and it reminded me of the same joyful feeling I had when I was pregnant with Hannah. I just hoped that it was Nick’s baby and not the Commander’s. Even when women are only supposed to be used for reproduction, I still couldn’t help but feel love.

    I walked into the birth-mobile and they drove me back to the Commander’s house. Serena Joy was peeling potatoes in the kitchen. “It worked”, I explained. “I’m so happy for you ”, The Commander’s wife lied. I knew she was just trying to be nice, and in reality, she was glad I was soon going to be out of the house soon.

    “Follow me”, she ordered. “This is where you’ll be for the next few months”, she told me. I glanced around the huge blue painted room. There was a king sized bed with red bedding and blue bouncy balls were spread around the room. “This is the closet with the clothes you’ll be wearing.” she pointed out. The red dresses were baggy and only had ¾ sleeves, unlike my old dress.The next day I woke up and saw a woman come into my room. “Ok, it’s time to wake up now,” she commanded. I woke up slowly and gently got up on my feet. “Sit on this”, she instructed while pointing to one of the blue balls. “Sure”, I responded while still half asleep. She told me to stretch my back so many different ways to keep the baby healthy. At first, it wasn’t too bad and I started to feel a weird sense of calm that I hadn’t been in so long. After a while, aches spread through my body until the pain became almost unbearable. It reminded me of a yoga class in the old days.

    “Ok, you need to relax on your bed now. It’s best for the baby.” the woman whispered.  My head rested on the pillow for long 10 hours. Eventually, my boredom got me to the point of insanity. Even more than before my pregnancy. I had a burning urge to see Nick. I wanted to tell him about the pregnancy. I started to contemplate sneaking out. It was risky; I know what they’d do me if I got caught.

   I went down the hall quietly. Serena Joy was busy making bread and the Martha’s were washing the dishes. They didn’t notice me go by and I went to the backyard. Nick was polishing the car in the garage. “I’m pregnant”, I explained to him. “Great, I know this may sound weird but, can I feel the baby”, he asked. “Sure”, I answered. “So, how many weeks”, he asked me. “Four, I got to go soon”, I told him. “ By the way, the commander wants to see you tomorrow”, he said. It was weird to actually talk to him since we’ve never really spoken before. I ran into the house and Serena Joy stopped me. “Where were you, she asked. “Umm, I was hungry so I went down to get food”, I lied. “Ok, fine, here, now go rest. It’s better for the baby”, she yelled.

   The woman came back in for an evening birthing class. My muscles still ached but, not as bad as they did before. Somehow, I was glad when it was over and I fell back onto the bed. My hands felt a baby kicking inside of my belly and I felt so much happiness in that moment.

The next day I had another birthing class which wasn’t tiring like the last two classes but, relaxing instead. I laid down for a couple of hours and the wives visited me. “How’s the baby”, one said. “Good”, I told them. They bought me presents and the wives gossiped about their lives. I joined in on the gossip and talked about the baby. After that, I rested for a few hours and started to become adjusted to this new life. The commander came up to my room. “I thought I’d call for you but, I figured I’d come up here instead”, he explained. I stood there in shock. “How are you”, he asked. “Good”, I implied. “I brought you a magazine”, he said. “Thank you”, I told him. “How’s the baby,” he concerningly asked. “Fine”, I explained while my hand was placed over this living thing inside of me. “I got to go, bye”, he told me. “Bye”, I replied. I read my magazine over and over again for a couple of hours. Then I placed it under my pillow. Another birthing class followed in the evening and I laid on my bed again. ‘I’m starting to like this life’, I thought to myself.

                                                       ….

  My contractions were only one minute apart. I drank some wine then waited for the big moment. A bunch of handmaids, wives and Martha's were sitting around me. Suddenly, it started coming out. “Push, push”, was all I could hear from the crowd. I screamed loudly, “Come on, you can do it”, one of the handmaids told me. That gave me the perseverance to keep going. Finally, a beautiful baby girl was born and I was so overjoyed. She had hair just like Nick’s, so I knew it must be his. Her eyes were the same colour as Hannah’s eyes, blue. I held her in my arms and smiled for the last time. 3-2-1, my eyes closed and I finally saw the light.