#okay i should go beddy bye

[moonshynecybin]

[evilminji]

You know what would be both Cool(tm) AND Pants Shittingly Terrifying? Eldritch Space Whale Danny!

Except NOT! Because he's not a whale! Just snoozing and Giganto-Fuck-Off HUGE!

Imagine it! Danny. Joint Custody Child of The Ancients Of Time And Space. Space is SALTY AF because their BITCH OF AN EX has used his FUCKING POWERS, AGAIN, to CHEAT. Clockwork how DARE YOU.

You knew he'd be our Son in advance!

YOU SNUCK IN AND STARTING BONDING WITH OUR CHILD BEHIND MY BACK!

YOU [REDACTED]!

Danny? Sitting off to the Side as a Sentient Everything and Nothing made of galaxies and starlight, howls expletives at their Ex, who is being... REALLY snippy back? WOW, Clockwork. I mean, JESUS, man. Danny's from "oh bless their heart" Nowhere, Midwest. And even HE thinks that last one was both backhanded and cold af.

......he should take notes. *continues to eat his popcorn*

Anyway! APPARENTLY, Space Parent has taken him in the divorce. With much huffing. Tucked under their arm Like The Football(tm). And honestly? This is kinda hilarious, so he's cool with it. Byyyyyy~ Clock Dad! See you on weekends~☆!

*Exasperated Time Noises*

It's pretty cool! He learns a lot. Learns he's probably? Gonna be SOME variation of Space Ghost. Might even take over Space's... well, EVERYTHING, should the unforeseeable occur. So obviously, gonna have to learn The Family Business, as it were!

Which?

UNSPEAKABLY HYPED, YES PLEASE.

SPACE AND STAR STUFF! HECK YEAH!

Unfortunately? Still a Halfa. Bleh, squishy need to eat and sleep. Why they get in the way of Hyperfixation? Why no more space dust? Nooooo, don't drag him away from the controls! He can still learn! Sleep is for quitters! Cowards! *whining in Give Me Back My Blorbos, You Monsters*

But, no. He apparently has to "take care of his body" and "not burn out". Eat "real food". A protein bar counts! He probably ate one of those! Give him back his STARS! He doesn't CARE if he sounds like a toddler! That's DIRECT ACCESS TO THE SECRETS OF SPACE ITSELF! He'll BITE, so HELP HIM-! *Is scruffed like a cranky infant being carried off to beddy bye*

Injustice! D:<

But, none the less, body's require sleep. He shovles down his food, washes up, and flops down in his bed. In the nice lil cozy "Safe For My Half Apprentice Who Is Also My Adopted Son" corner. He passes out in that corner. Starts to float, as he has done countless times before, when agitated before bed. Floats OUT of that corner.

That Safe Little Corner.

IN THE CENTER, THE BEATING HEART OF SPACE.

You know... the place ALL OF SPACE connects too. Where Universe Form and Die. The Grand Recycler. Dust to Dust, from the ashes of old, to the creation of new. Where PORTALS are randomly assigned. So that the Omniversal Ectoplasmic Levels may always be balanced at near to perfect levels, allowing free flow of Souls through the various Reincarnation cycles.

Space, of course, doesn't MANAGE the Ectoplasm itself. Nor the Souls! Different Ancient for THAT, but they DO manage the PORTALS. We live in a SYSTEM after all. Everyone has their "departments" as it were. So really, it's quiet... Danny? Honey? Awful quiet back there! You, uh, fallen asleep, Starlight?

*empty room*

(O.O)

*inhale* AAAAAAAAAAA-!!!!!!!

Meanwhile! He be Snoozin'! And Ghostin'! Ghost Snoozin'! Is extra comfy, cause he weightless and got not booooones~☆!

But! He? Is not a child anymore! Has learned to... for lack of a better term, Let Go. To finally ACCEPT his Death. His inhumanity. His Amortality. Death no longer holds him, can no longer let him go. He is... not immortal. He is disowned, by his own doing and his own choice, at his timeless moment of Ending.

When Life let go of his hand and Death kindly offered theirs, he did not take it.

And that's okay.

It took awhile. Talking to older ghosts. Most vague and vast, near formless. Because it's... it's scary. And it's all you know. All, really, you've EVER known. Inherent to your identity, even after you leave that part you behind.

You are "human". "Martian" or "Xy'xeruian", something else, and you never question it. Even when you've left behind everything ELSE. Your name, your eyes, your history and skin. Yet you fly around and pretend. Still alive, still human.

But is that YOU?

Or just the form you found your start in?

And like? It's okay if it IS! Sometimes, yeah, you ARE. You look down deep and find a "don't know what you were expecting, buddy" sign stapled to a mirror. But more often? It's that last hurdle. The final step in Letting Go.

Everyone mourns at their own pace.

And they are the ghosts of who they were.

It helped. Mourning for the kid he was. Who was fourteen and wanted to be an astronaut. Who died and will never have a grave. The longer he exsists, for he can't technically be called Alive, the more painfully young that child seems.

It was okay.

To cry for Danny Fenton.

Then? To let him go. Let his memory, be memory. And his Past be the grave that child rests in. Loved dearly and remembered, but no longer binding his soul.

He doesn't have to wear that face anymore.

No tributes to the Dead.

He got? Kinda... BIG. Like REALLY big. Spiraling, serpentine, cracking ice, and burning galaxies. Like a fourth dimensional dragon, of ice and stars, somehow forcing its way into a three dimensional space. Atop it all, between two vast, impossible horns? Made of glacial ice coating the warping hearts of black holes, who's shape themselves seem to shift in unknowable ways? There burns, like comet trails, with super novas, compressed to decorative gems beneath glittering morning frost, a Terrible Crown.

He? Thinks? He MIGHT have wings.

He can't tell.

Because APPARENTLY he's a fuckin tesseract! Oh, no, sorry. He might me a Zone DAMNED PENTERACT!!! Is THIS what he gets for hanging out with Clockwork all the time? He just liked the quiet! Now his "true form" is PHYSICALLY PAINFUL for most people to look at!

Clock Dad WHAT THE HELL?!

(You see, now, why Space broke up with him? An ASSHOLE)

So! Danny stays, usually at least, in his "Hi, yes, I am Normal Human Man" Ghost form. But NOW? Now it PINCHS. Because it's TOO SMALL. But hey, that's fine! It's not like he has an ingrained habit of transforming when super tired and stressed! To float sleep for Maximum Restfulness(tm).

Ha ha!

Why does that feel like foreshadowing?

BECAUSE IT IS!

Danny? Snoozing! Space? Has LOST THE BABY! Portals? Have done a Jood Gob in Portalling, something they are vaguely sure they are supposed to be doing! Yay them! They have no brain cells but still enjoy helping! They moved a thing! That's helpful right? Yay! Probably!

And on DC's planet Earth?

They? Just choked on their fuckin coffee. One moment? La dee daa~ oooh~ look! Stars! Deep space! Oh, hiiii~ Watchtower! The NEXT? *every alarm in the building starts LOSING ITS SHIT* Giant World OBLITERATING SHAPE completely takes up the screen.

From near PLUTO.

There are NO WORDS TO DISCRIBE HOW FUCK OFF BIG THIS THING IS, MR. PRESIDENT. It will eat our nukes and LAUGH. Call! EVERYBODY!!!

Obviously? Superman. I mean really, OF COURSE Superman. Frankly, all the Supers. Because we would like to KEEP having a planet, thanks. Only? The more reports that come in? The more everyone is getting "oh fuck. This is a Workd Eater" vibes.

A massive, massive, Sleeping Titan of a Planet Destroying World Eater.

That MIGHT BE MAGIC.

*highly stressed Everyone noises*

And WORSE? Superman? Can't TOUCH it! Oh sure, at FIRST he could! But then he apparently pushed too hard in just one spot! And it felt POKED AT. So now, after flicking superman HALFWAY BACK TO EARTH to make him stop? No one can physically touch it!

But! There is hope!

Because? The creature is GREEN. Bright, luminous, Lantern Green! And Earth's Lanterns have already sent for back up. Combined? The were able to move a... hand? Paw? Something. But! With the combine forces of several nearby sectors of Lanterns? They promise the power to either relocate the creature or at least hold it in orbit until FURTHER forces can be deployed!

They refuse to harm the creature until it proves actively hostile, as it could have been seeking a place to nap and chosen one inconvenient to established planetary life. Frankly? Earth doesn't CARE where you relocate the giant Eldritch Space Dragon. Just NOT IN OUR BACKYARD, PLEASE.

....YES WE ARE SURE! We don't CARE if the scientific community of our planet is begging you to set up an area for them to place an "observation satellite"! No giant Eldritch Space Dragons in our solar system! It might WAKE UP!

Naturally, about half way THROUGH this Highly Delicate Operation?

Danny Wakes Up.

@hypewinter @hdgnj @lolottes @babbling-babull @nerdpoe @the-witchhunter @mutable-manifestation

[mellowsadistic]

I couldn’t stop myself from whining and wriggling about fussily in my crib. I knew it would just make me look even more babyish, but being in nappies was just so disgusting!

“You’ve been a very bad girl, little one,” Daddy scolded, looking down at me sternly.

I cried and whimpered. “Pwease Daddy!” I mumbled around my pacifier. “Pwease change my nappy! I don’t wanna go to bed poopy! I’m sowwy I was naughty! Pwease!”

“No, darling. You were a very, very naughty girl for trying to take your nappy off to use the potty. You do not use the potty anymore, do you understand me? You lost your big girl privileges permanently, and that means no more toilets. Ever. When you need to go pee-pee or poo-poo, you go in your pants like the silly little girl you are."

“But whyyyyy!” I wailed. “It’s so yucky, Daddy!”

He reached in and smacked me hard on the seat of my messy nappy, making it squish horribly against my bottom.

“Ewwwwww!” I whined.

“Being in stinky nappies is just something you’re going to have to get used to, sweetheart,” he said. “This is your life now. You agreed to let me diaper train you, and that’s the end of the matter. Besides, it’s too late. I’ve already made the announcement about your ‘incontinence’ on all your social media accounts.”

“You… WHAT?!” I demanded. My dummy fell from my open mouth. He’d talked about telling people I was incontinent as a cover for the fact that I’d be wearing nappies 24/7, but I thought it had just been a fantasy! Surely he hadn’t actually…

He took my phone out of his pocket and held it up to the bars of my crib to see. My Facebook was open on the screen.

Hi everyone! I have an announcement to make. It’s a bit embarrassing, but I decided it would be for the best if everyone knows. I was recently diagnosed with incontinence. For anyone who doesn’t know, that means I can’t control when I pee or poop, so I just go in my pants like babies do. Unfortunately it’s totally permanent. The doctor assured me 100% that I’ll never be able to get my control back, and that means I’ll have to wear nappies for the rest of my life. If I don’t, I’ll just leave yucky messes everywhere! I’m going to be in nappies 24/7 from now on, so don’t be alarmed if you see my bottom looking a bit bulky (and if you see me without a nappy, you should ask me what on Earth I think I’m doing)! Anyway, that’s all I had to say. I hope you don’t treat me any differently now you all know I’m not potty trained anymore. Thank you! x

I stared at the screen in horror. The announcement had already been liked by over a hundred of my friends.

“No!” I cried, tears forming in my eyes. “NO!”

Daddy put my phone back in his pocket and looked down at me with a satisfied expression on his face. I knew there was no going back now. Everyone thought I was incontinent! Permanently! How could I ever explain it to them if I stopped wearing nappies?!

“Sorry, sweetie,” Daddy said. “But this is for the best. You’re just a stupid little girl who pees and poops her nappies, and now everyone knows it.”

I burst into tears and started kicking my legs and slamming my fists against the mattress of my tiny, cramped crib. My life as a respectable adult was over! Now everyone would just think of me as some stupid oversized baby who couldn’t even use the toilet!

“It’s okay, precious girl,” Daddy said softly, reaching into my crib to stroke my hair. I knew I should be furious with him, but I was so upset that I couldn’t help but be comforted by his gentle touch. “I promise this is for the best. You’re going to be in nappies 24/7, and now you don’t have to worry about other people finding out you’re not allowed to use toilets, since they all think you can’t use them anyway.” I cried even harder at that, and Daddy picked up my dummy and popped it back into my mouth for me to suck on. “Okay baby, time for beddy-byes. You can stay in your messy nappy until the morning and think about what a naughty girl you were for trying to use the potty like an adult. Daddy will change your tomorrow.”

I whimpered and squirmed, but Daddy just left, turning off the light on his way out. I had nothing else to do except try to get comfortable in my dirty nappy, and cry myself to sleep thinking of the adulthood that I’d lost forever.

[formleadsfunction]

f@tt Sangfielle ep. 36 re(?)listening post

(aka my own personal greatest hits)

everyone insisting Lyke's sick...

that's like the reverse of what usually happens with doctors

"No, you are sick. It is not a bad sick. [...] But it is *your* sick. And maybe that is okay? Hm?" ough...

she's talking about the beast... the call.

Oh, I am *delighted.* Austin, ever so fond of this fallout for Lyke, finding a way to have this "Do you want this to be gone? Do you want to be rid of this howling gnashing ravenous beast inside of you? The one that wants you dead and wants you utterly devoured and that saved your life, the one that could, perhaps, stand for your innermost personal desires? Do you want this to be gone? Do you really?" conversation in character.

"How often are you sure?" "I'm not sure." ‼️

"This is not a good dog." "Oh, well, have you taught it? Trained it?" GOOD! Love it !!!!!!!!

"I like animals fine." "But not this one." "No. This one's angry, and it's got big teeth." "..Yes..? ..And?" ‼️‼️‼️

"I think I can take care of the dog on my own. I've got a place. I keep my plant there." Lyke...

"Oh no no no, it's going to Work, it's just that there will be consequences, that's how we- you know Friends at the Table, sometimes you'd Prefer if it didn't work. :)"

"You see a pair of bodies, on the ground. Bloody, beaten. Dead." HEY??????

Aterika'kaal...... honey...............

OH MY GOD HAZARD'S BACKSTORY HELLO

"We're in 'it's about to get real' time" LFG

new jdq soundtrack....... stop.

we've got a "Sangfielle making Shoop cry for the first time" situation ‼️‼️‼️ something about that music underneath Austin's three-way narration

Aaaaa, that Mirage fallout! This rules so fucking much !!!!!!!

They're in the Course HELLO

"Change anything you want about your sheet - I'll do the same." I feel light-headed, I love everything about this, have people talked about how Sangfielle is a really fucking great season?

"What is a real person? Welcome to Friends at the Table!"

(ooc convo) Keith: "When I'm having a dream, the people in my dream are not real." Austin: "I'm not sure that's true." I fucking love it here, I'm sorry but it's just true: Nobody does it like them, other people's favs could NEVER.

Lyke, weakly: "Should I help? [ooc] I kick a wheelbarrow." That he'd immediately help, just because this is his friend Chine...

It's technically my bedtime, but I can't stop 20 minutes before the episode is over

Hazard: "Isn't the boat gone?" Lyke: "No! The boat--Is the boat gone?!?!" Austin: "Hm! [more frantic IC 'the boat is surely still there' from Lyke] Hm!! :)"

hey guys, the boat is gone

Lyke being Most Offended about missing the True False War finale 😭

This reminds me, I gotta watch that yt video at some point

INCREDIBLE episode and arc

beddy bye time now :<

[caruliaa]

it really is one of those how did it get sooo late so fast nights huh !!! so i reallyyy should go beddy bye but before i do i just want to say that uhm!!! you are scuuuuuuuuuuuuuch an incredibly amazing friend my dearest ladybird like !!!! you really do make my life soooo much more full of happiness and brightness and warmth and care and support and as well as that youre just all around a compassionate thoughtful understanding good friend who i appreciate smmm and even moreso than all of that youre just !!! such a lovely lovely loveable good person jules...!!!!!! and i am just soo lucky to know you and to have met you and i wanna say how much i care abt youu and that i love youuuuu loads and loads and loads !! (hugs you for a while if youd like !!! 🫶🏻🫶🏻💗💗💗💗💕💕💕💕💗🫶🏻🫶🏻💕💕💕💗💗💗🫶🏻🫶🏻💕💕💗💗🫶🏻💗💕)

ya i get tht feeling a lot when ur like ooof i got plany of time then u check the clock and its almost twelve and it turns put you do not got plany off time FBDBFNDNDN but ya i hope u got lots of good rest love and ough omg ;; ur so so sweet love i hope you know that i really am soso glad that i can be such a good friend to you love ad bring sm like. happiness and brightness and warmth and support and care and stuff into ur life and be so like understanding and thoughtful and stuff to you love i really am because you really do just deserve it so so much love and just because i really do just want to dearest !! bc like youre just so so dear and special and important to me love and jsut so so amazing and wonderful i feel and i hope you know that you really are the same to me love like youre such a wonderful kind caring thoughtful sweet understanding friend to me love nd ur just soso good to me and just make me feel soso loved and cared for and safe and warm with you and just like !!! just you just knowing you being your friend and having you in my life brings me soso very much joy and light and warmth and happiness dearest and just !!! you really are soso amazing love and i hope you know that you really do jsut mean the world to me and i really do just love you so so very much ;; !!! *hugs you back soso much so so close for a bit if thats okay* 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

[lavender-femme]

it’s only 8:20 but i’m going to fucking beddy bye bc i feel like my whole body is betraying me

but y’all should go reblog my audios for fun okay?

i know i haven’t posted new ones in over a year but i love seeing y’all’s reaction to them okay send me sweet dream wishes and horny thoughts goodnight 💕

[shorkbrian]

Hooked

I cannot stop thinking about!!! Tendou in the desert. Mainly because I went for a walk and found a bunch of creepy stuff, and Tendou would fit right into the creepy-desert-aesthetic. (also..... he’d be the type to have a meth trailer out in the middle of nowhere lol)

(What to expect - bad writing, a dead body, Tendou being weird. No NSFW)

He’s just absolutely batshit crazy. There’s no explanation for his actions.

Like you go for a walk in the mountains, intent on seeing a beautiful, iconic desert sunset, skies dyed pink, purple, orange and red.

It gets dark faster than you anticipated though, and you’re left trying to stumble back to your car in the pitch black night, temperature quickly dropping.

And of course, you aren’t prepared at all. It’s the desert, it isn’t supposed to get cold. So you’re shivering, freezing, skin going numb, starting to feel a bit sluggish as you wonder how the fuck it’s so fucking cold.

There’s a light off in the distance, maybe your car? Had you left the light on?

Stumbling closer, tripping over rocks and trying to avoid cactus, you try to focus on the light, on the outline. It almost looks too high to be your car.

Then you hit the dirt, foot twisting over a rock, causing you to crash onto your side, landing your hip directly onto a cactus. You screech at the stinging pain that stabs into your hip, the side of your butt, your outer thigh.

It hurts to stand up, and you can’t even assess the damage done, because it’s dark and as soon as you try to feel your hip, sharp spines make you cry out, pulling your hand back.

All that’s left for you to do is cry as you make your way towards the light, hoping, praying it’s your car.

As you limp closer, tears dripping down your face at the pain of the cactus spines, the cold, your now-sore ankle, you quickly discern that the light’s source comes from a house.

Specifically, a trailer.

There’s junk everywhere, piles of it, and you trip over a few stray.... well, you can’t really make out what it is, with how dark it is. But you make it to the door.

And yeah, this is super creepy. You’re out in the middle of nowhere, it’s dark, with no flashlight, no jacket. You’re vulnerable, but you’re so freaking cold, and you think there’s blood on your leg from where you’ve been stabbed with the cactus spines.

You need help.

So you gather up the courage, pray that there’s someone home, that it’s not a serial killer, and knock on the door of the trailer.

There’s a loud thump, high pitched, muffled cursing, then some shuffling. The clicking of locks on the door, and then it swings open, revealing a man holding a shotgun.

Well fuck.

He’s lanky, thin and wirey, wild red hair tangled on top of his head. Large, hooded eyes squint at you sleepily, before the man cocks his head.

“You lost?”

“Uhm, yeah..... hi.” You sniffle out, and the man’s eyes visibly widen as he realizes you’re crying, in nothing but a short sleeve shirt and a pair of pants, standing out in the cold.

The inside of the trailer is warm, and it makes your cheeks, ears, and frozen hands tingle as feeling begins returning to them. How had it gotten so cold in the fucking desert?

The man introduces himself as Tendou Satori, deputy of Shiratorizawa county. He’s not lying to you either, has the badge, the uniform - it even explains the shotgun.

He clicks his tongue when you limp inside, as light falls upon your hip and shows your jeans darkened with blood. Tells you to warm up first, sit in front of the heater vent, then he’ll help you with the cactus.

“What’re you doing way out here? City’s kinda far.”

“I was gonna watch the sunset, take pictures ‘n stuff.” You offered, wrapping the blanket he had provided more firmly around yourself. His gaze makes you uncomfortable, and you’re not sure why. It’s not like he’s going to do anything bad, he’s a police deputy.

His eyes are so flat though, still hooded even though he’s very much awake. Maybe that’s just the way he looks, but it’s a bit creepy.

“Didn’t think it’d get dark as fast as it did? Is that why you were wanderin’ around out there?”

You nodded. “Didn’t know it could get so cold either.”

Tendou chuckles, high pitched, and you wince. He sounds like a creepy funhouse clown when he laughs like that. “Ehehe, lots of people get caught off guard by desert weather. Think it’s hot all the time, can’t even imagine that it gets a bit chilly. You’re lucky I’m posted up here, otherwise you’d be a popsicle by morning!”

He was so nonchalant about the idea of you freezing to death, you didn’t know how to respond.

Luckily, you had warmed up enough to stop shaking, teeth no longer clattering together. Tendou told you to stay put while he got supplies to fix up “Your little owie!”

It was much more than a ‘little’ wound.

The trailer was filled with thick awkwardness as Tendou asked you to peel off your pants so he could get to the spines embedded in your skin. He didn’t seem to understand that you felt a little embarrassed, didn’t even turn his back as you slowly pushed them to your ankles, wincing as they dragged over your bloodied hip.

“Ok-ay! Now, this’ll hurt, so try not to scream a whole bunch, right?”

And then he was digging in with tweezers, delicately extracting cactus spines from your puffy, swollen hip, the side of your butt, your outer thigh.

It hurt, badly, and you started crying again, much to your embarrassment. Tendou didn’t seem to mind, kept his eyes fixed on your bloody leg as he quickly tended to it.

“I’ll be done soon, don’t worry. You’ll have to hydrate a bunch after I’m done though.”

“Why does it hurt so much? Are they poisonous?” You yelped as the man tugged on a particularly painful spine, furrowing his brows in concentration as he pulled it out.

“Oh! It’s cause they’re like little meat hooks.” He looked up at you, smiling, holding his most recent extraction with his tweezers so you could see. “They get pretty attached once they get in you, hehe, but I’ll make you better.”

Forty minutes later had Tendou finishing up, finally deeming you cactus-free after a thorough inspection. He had plucked out the large spines with tweezers, before running his hand over your skin, stilling you when you flinched, explaining that he was feeling for the small needles.

You felt insanely uncomfortable, with his hands and face that close to such an intimate area. 

“All do-ne!” The man sang, straightening his back, giving you a gleaming smile. His lips stretched too far over his teeth. “Now, I’ll get you some pants, and some water. You want to sleep in the bed with me? Or on the couch?”

What?

The panicked confusion must be evident on your face, because Tendou cackled, standing up, towering over you. 

“Can’t go back out there, you wanna die? Gotta stay until mornin’.”

“The couch please.” The choice was easy, and Tendou nodded, before disappearing through a doorway into a dark room, coming back with an armful of blankets. He tossed a pair of pajama pants at you from the pile, but you hesitated in putting them on.

“Um.... Mr.? Can I have something to wipe off the blood?” It was crusted on your leg, dried and dark brown now.

Tendou turned from making up the couch, blinked at you slowly, looked at your leg. “Guess I should do that!” 

You had to wait a bit longer, until he had arranged the couch to his liking, before the strange man fetched a wet washcloth to wipe off your leg with.

It was warm, and he was thorough as he sponged off the blood. The way he licked his lips while doing so made you feel a bit uneasy.

When you were finally clean, you tugged on your new pants quickly, finally feeling a bit more comfortable now that you were no longer exposed.

“Wanna eat before you go to bed? I have-” Tendou bent to shuffle through his fridge. “-Oh! I have applesauce! and crackers! Yum Yum!” Both items were held aloft triumphantly. 

Who kept crackers in the fridge?

You just wanted to go to sleep.

“I’m good, thank you though.”

“Okay, beddy-bye time then I guess.” Why did he talk so childishly? 

You tried to relax as he turned out the lights, bidding you good night as he shuffled back through the doorway, apparently into his bedroom.

Tomorrow you’d find your car, and everything would be fine.

-----

Tendou was sitting on the couch when you woke up, your bare feet in his lap.

“Good morning~!” His voice was so loud, you were wincing at the volume, at the sunlight streaming through the dingy curtains, at your first good look at his trailer - he’d kept it dark last night, only turning on one light.

It was clean, well, as clean as a trailer could be. Nothing suspicious or worrisome.

“Aren’t you going to say it back?” The man questioned, suddenly leaning far too close, his hand sliding up your calf.

“Oh-uhm-” You stuttered, blushing at the proximity, the foreign touch. “I should go find my car...”

Tendou rolled his eyes, backing off quickly. “Too boring. Also too far. It’ll hurt to walk, you won’t be able to make it.”

You raised an eyebrow, immediately testing out his claim, hissing in pain as soon as you moved your leg.

Apparently, it was swollen and sore.

He was right, walking hurt, and you barely hobbled to the little bathroom without Tendou’s assistance. Maybe he could go find your car and bring it here? It had to be close by, you hadn’t been walking for that long last night...

“So!” Tendou clapped his hands, and you started, almost bumping into him as he stood, leaning over you on the couch. “Tell me about yourself, it’s been so long since I’ve had anyone over. You have a boyfriend? Girlfriend? Where’s your family? I’ve always wanted someone to keep me company here.”

“Woah, wait, what?”

Tendou chuckled, shaking his head. “You’re going to stay here with me now! I think we should get to know each other a bit, don’t you?”

Staying with him? Here? What was going on?

“Um, Mr.-”

“Tendou... or Satori, your choice.” The man interjected, before moving to flop down next to you on the couch.

“Tendou-” You continued. “-I can’t stay here. I need to find my car, and drive back to the city, back to my home. My roommate will be worried...”

“Home is here.” His tone was so matter-of-fact, it shocked you silent.

“You had a roommate though? How fun!!” He chirped, and you didn’t miss the emphasis on “had”. “You ever have sex with them?”

Tendou had moved in a second, pressed to your side, his face too close to yours, and you panicked.

“I gotta go. Really, I’m sorry, thank you for helping me out last night but I need to get going-” You were on your feet, ignoring the pain lancing through your leg as you hobbled quickly to the door, throwing it open.

A hand tugged on your shirt, pulling you off balance and forcing you to step backwards. 

“You’re leaving? But I did so much for you, you haven’t even paid me back...”

His grip on your shirt was firm, but you wriggled and writhed until he was forced to let go. “I-I promise I’ll pay you when I get to my car. My wallet’s there, you can have everything in it-”

You pushed forward, through the door, barely dodging Tendou’s grabby hands. This wasn’t right, there was something off about him, you needed to get away.

“I don’t want you to go.” But you weren’t listening to his suddenly deep, serious voice. Instead, you were frantically looking around, trying to figure out which way you had come from last night. 

There was nothing but cactus, rocks, and dirt.

“I was wishing for company the other day, y’know? It gets so lonely here, the sheriff isn’t a good conversationalist.”

The sheriff?

You whirled around, Tendou standing in the door, looking off to the side. You followed his gaze, saw the lawn chair, the upturned bucket next to it, two empty bottles of beer. There were more bottles littering the ground.... there was another lawn chair-

-and the fully-dressed body of a sheriff, half-decayed, sat in it.

You didn’t even think to scream; who would hear you out here? All you did was run, adrenaline roaring through your veins and letting you forget about your wounded leg.

“Wait!” Tendou called after you gleefully, bouncing out of the doorway. “You’re hurting his feelings! Ahehehe!!”

The man was deranged.

And you very quickly realized that there was no where to run.

Nowhere to hide.

-----

You couldn’t see your car, or anything that looked familiar. The only sounds in the air was the panting of your own breath, your feet thudding slowly underneath you as your initial shock wore off, as the adrenaline left you, as the pain returned.

It had only been a few minutes since you took off, speeding away from the unhinged madman. You were left wondering if he was really the deputy - maybe he’d killed the deputy, stolen his uniform.

Then you wondered why there was a dead sheriff in his yard. Had no one come looking for him? Where was the sheriff’s car? What was even going on?

It’s warm, the sun beginning to beat down on you relentlessly, and you curse the desert. Curse it’s unbearable heat during the day, it’s frigid temperatures at night. 

“Pretty girl!!! I found you~!” Tendou’s shrill voice had you jerking your head around, frantically trying to see where the man was. Had he been following you? Where was he, there was nothing he could hide behind!

“You want to go for a ride in my fancy car? Is that it? I’ll take you to dinner, then we’ll kiss under the moon!” The man cackled, and you determined that the voice was coming from your left.

But... there was nothing there?

Tentative, painful steps forward, towards his voice. Where was he? If you couldn’t see him, you couldn’t fight him. You needed to know where the creep was.

A careful step.

A careful step.

A careful st-

A terrified scream tore from your lungs as your foot seemingly plunged into thin air, immediately landing you on your butt as you slide down a steep incline.

It was a ravine.

You tumbled down into it’s depths, getting scraped by rocks and brush. Luckily, you slammed into something solid, metal, and it stopped your tumultuous motion.

Gaining your bearings, you stared hard at the door of the police car you’d just collided with, before a hand popped out of the window, waving at you.

“Beep beep!” Tendou snickered, his flat eyes taking in your disheveled appearance. “Let’s mess around, I’ve heard doing it in a car is fun.”

There’s no one around to hear you scream.

[whilomm]

okay u know as someone w adhd and anxiety whos coping mechanism for remembering to do stuff seems to be "have a mental checklist of things that i will randomly get paranoid about like did i lock the doors did i leave the oven on is the fridge open. and before i go to bed or anything i have to go oh wait did i check i should check then i check like 3 times bc OH MY GOD WHAT IF I DIDNT ACTUALLY CHECK" (i just did one check ajd im probablt gonna do another right after this post) i realzied st that would be Really Helpful but god i dont wanna go full smart house:

just little basic ass sensors that can tell stuff like "is the oven on" or "is the door locked", and sends everything to a lil screen i can put on the wall and if its in the bad one its a Bright Red Square saying hey!!! forgot thing!!! so instead of getting outta bed i can just look at Screen On Wall that says nah ur good nothings red.

BUT, BUT!!! none of its like ohh ur oven is SMART and u can turn it on with your PHONE and unlock ur doors w ur PHONE and blah blah blah because God No, i would be even more paranoid about idk hackers burning my house down by turning my oven on high while im sleeping. it is JUST sensor to tell me Information. and none of it fucking Mega Corp Owned. i can tolerate a lil of that as needed but aaaa

anyway brb i gotta go check my locks/oven/fridge/etc again because its beddy bye time

[zonie-az]

everyone knows before New Mexico and Arizona ch 6: New Mexico and Arizona talk

story summary:

Ari falls for New Mexico.

NM doesn't know what's going on.

everyone else sees it.

Chapter 6 of 7

word count for this ch: 2,357

pairing: New Mexico and Arizona

wattpad AO3

When they got to NM's room, he realized he was still holding Ari's hand. He let go, looking away. Ari went to the bathroom taking off his binder. NM pulled up Disney plus on his laptop. He got on his bed, soon he felt the bed move as Ari joined him. They moved the pillows to support their backs and pulled blankets around them. Putting the show on. 

Most people don't like watching a show or movie with Arizona. He pauses it to ask a question or tell a story. cause whatever in the show reminds him of something that he just has to say now or he will forget it. 

They were in the middle of Ari telling a totally unrelated story when he got quiet and trail it off mid-sentence. 

"Arizona?" 

"Yeah?" 

"You stop mid-sentence again"

"Yeah, I wasn't sure if you were listening so I"

"Ari, I always want to listen. Hey, look at me. It's true no matter what your anxiety is telling you" NM said. Ari looked up at him, giving a half-smile. "now keep telling me"

Arizona nodded and continued with his story. NM wished he knew whoever put in Ari's head that no one would want to listen to him. NM would give him a piece of his mind and fist. NM did listen to what Ari was saying but he also was partly thinking about what it would be like to kiss him. They were already so close he could just lean in and kiss him right now. Would NM enjoy it? He wasn't sure. He wishes he could find out without actually doing it. A little over two hours later they finished the episode. The episode was only 45 minutes long. NM yawns. 

"I think it might be beddy-bye time for someone" Ari smiled as NM tried to stop another yawn

"Hey some of us had to deal with stupid people this morning and couldn't stay in bed" NM yawned again

"Stop you goi-" Ari yawned. "see look what you did" 

"Sorry" Ari lay his head on NM's shoulder yawning and snuggling up. "Make yourself comfortable I see" 

"I can't help it you are very comfy" 

"Alright Mr snuggle bug" yawns and puts his arm around Arizona

"You were also cuddling up with me last night as well, it wasn't just me" 

"Hey I got a representation to keep" 

"You can be tuff and snuggly plus it not like" yawns "it's not like people don't already have the wrong idea" 

Ari closed his eyes "see look what you did now and sleepy"

"Alright looks like we both should head to bed" 

Arizona wines "I don't want to get up am comfy here" 

"Dude you can't just fall asleep on me" 

"Why not?"

"Your neck will hurt and your wine about it all tomorrow. Plus I need to sleep, you go to your bed and sleep" 

"This is my bed now" Arizona flops down taking the blanket with him. NM watched him wrap himself up and pretend to go to sleep. 

NM pokes him a few times, Ari trying to not giggle. 

"Stop Ari is sleeping come back later," Arizona said keeping his eyes closed

"Oh really well tell Ari he needs to go and sleep in his bed"

"This is Ari's bed"

"Okay well, then where am I to sleep?"

"I don't know that's you problem" 

"Oh really Mr? am getting kicked out of my own bed"

"You mean Arizona's new bed, also you have permission you can still sleep here" Ari opened an eye looking at him face a bit red. 

"Fine you can sleep here but shoot over then," NM said and grab some of the blanket "also you are not allowed to take all the warmth"

Ari wiggled over giving part of the blanket then got quiet and still 

"I can feel your anxiety" NM lay down and faced Ari who wasn't looking at him. "What's wrong?" 

"I can leave. Am sorry if" 

"Dude if I really wanted you to leave I would have picked you up and put you in your bed or told you flat out," NM said trying to get Ari to look at him. 

"Still I know it must be bad me next to you since I... you know" 

"Since you have feelings for me" 

"Yeah, that" Ari said softly and quietly finally making eye contact. 

"Why is it bad?" 

"Cause am taking advantage of"

"Of what? Of, me also like being close to you?"

"Well I shouldn't be getting close when I" 

"Arizona, why do you keep acting like I should hate you and not want to be around you?"

"Cause, I want you. I want to do things with you that aren't just friend things. And I try not to picture things but I do. And you don't want to. you deserve bett-"

"Arizona" 

"Sorry" 

"Why you? Nevermind. Arizona please be nicer to yourself. NM paused then switched to Spanish "Can I be honest and open. And maybe stupid for a bit" 

"Of course" Ari also switches to Spanish knowing it sometimes helps NM talk more openly. He also elevated himself up a little NM looked up at the ceiling

"I have never had a crush or anything. At least I don't think so. I don't know what any of that feels like. Like" looks over at Arizona "how do you know you like me that way? How does one know what they are feeling is romantic?" 

"Well. For me, it started slow. You were my friend and I grew closer and closer. I keep wanting to be closer. You always made me feel better no matter what mood I was in beforehand. You were always so kind and thoughtful. You made me feel wanted. Then I started feeling warm when you were around. My heart started speeding up anytime you brushed up against me. I wanted to do anything to make you smile and to get closer to you. I started to want to do more than just talk and all, wanting to kiss you. Wanting… other things" Arizona looked away. NM blushed when he put together what Ari wasn't saying. "but I also wanted to go on a date together. To hold your hand to call you my boyfriend. I want to cuddle and sleep next to you every night. I want to one day call you my husband or something along those lines. I just wanted to be with you like that"  

NM was quiet, Arizona got worried he said something wrong. NM was thinking about it. 

"Would it help if you talked out what your thinking? I know usually that's my thing but it might help" 

NM flipped back over looking up at the ceiling. 

"I… I love you. I know you are my favorite person ever. I will fight the world for you… I don't like seeing you upset but that's cause. You deserve to be happy all the time. Am so glad you trust me when you are upset and I'll do everything I can to make you feel better….  You light up my life. You make me feel happy and at home when I am with you. I always want to be closer to you… I love you more than anyone or anything else. I just don't know if that is in a romantic way?" NM looked over at Ari

"Mmm, how do you feel when you think about calling me your boyfriend? Holding hands or kissing me or any of those kinds of things?" 

"I don't know? I've never kissed anyone. But holding hands sounds nice. I like it when you grab my hand when you are excited. So I would think just holding it would be nice. Idk about in front of people tho" 

"Am not surprised public displays of affection won't be for you" Arizona smiled. Then got serious sitting up. "would you like to try any of it? Just to see how it feels? You totally don't have to by any means" 

New Mexico sat up as well and nodded. Arizona reached over and grabbed NM's hand. Smiling at him. 

NM felt his heart speed up but he wasn't sure if it was just being nervous about this whole thing or if it was something else. He rubs his thumb over the back of Ari's hand. Ari hummed happily. Them facing each other just holding hands 

"This is nice but also not too new for us"

"True am very touchy-feely with you already"

"Yeah, it's nice I don't complain. Not for real anyway"

Ari hummed, enjoying the moment nonetheless. 

"Can. Can we try and kiss?" NM asked Ari's eyes got wide

"Yes!!! but! only if you really want to okay" 

"I do. I just don't know how to. I haven't kissed anyone" NM looked down at their hands. 

"That's okay, no need to start making out right away" Ari laughed nervously. "just a peck would be a good start" 

NM looked over at Ari. His heart was definitely going fast. Ari was blushing. He looked excited, it was so cute. That didn't help his nerves of course.

Ari shooted closer to him. Taking his ASU hat off NM put it on the table by the bed. 

"You sure?" NM nodded "okay"

They got closer, their noses bumped a little bit, and Ari giggled. Arizona put his hand up to NM's cheek. Ari turned his head. They both closed their eyes then the garb between them. 

They did a small kiss before pulling apart. NM was the first to open his eyes. Smiling at Ari, who was beaming. Eyes filled with joy and excitement. NM also was feeling happy. He felt his chest building up, his heart going faster than he thought it could.  

Ari licked his lips. Drawing NM's attention back to them. He wanted to kiss them again. 

"Ari, can we do that again?" Arizona nodded enthusiastically, learning a bit too fast. Bumping into NM. "Hey watch where you're going" 

"Sorry" Ari looked embarrassed and a little ashamed. 

"Hey hey it's okay. We both figuring it out. Also, I know how you get when you're excited. You've been amazing so far I really appreciate that" 

"I don't want to push you or anything"

"Thanks my desert snake. Now come here and kiss me already" NM said lovingly 

"Will do" Ari grabbed NM's shirt pulling him into another kiss. This time it was a bit longer. NM didn't really know where to put his hands. Ari didn't have the same problem pulling NM into him. Kissing a bit longer. Ari pulled away but not far. 

"Wow," NM said, heart pounding.

"You look amazing. Like always but even more now I took your breath away" Ari felt around for NM's hand and then held it. 

"Dork" NM laughed. Ari couldn't help but laugh as well. Then pulled apart. Not letting go of each other's hands, NM bought Ari's hand up and kissed it lightly. 

Ari was visibly affected by that. 

"Looks like am not the only one taking the other's breath away" 

"Shut up. You don't realize how much I dreamed of this happening" Ari said looking away. 

"Well sorry, it took so long. But. Arizona would you like to be my boyfriend" NM said Ari's head shot up eyes wide

"Really?" NM nodded. "yes yes yes a million times yes" 

Arizona tackled NM luckily they were on the bed so it was a soft landing for Newie 

"Can I kiss you more?"

"Of course" Ari started kissing NM all over the face. NM couldn't help it, he giggled. That only encourages Arizona. He planted kisses all over NM. After probably kissing every inch of his face at least 3 times Ari gives a quick kiss on the lips. He wiggled down and lay his head on NM's chest. Yawning. 

"Stop your going to mak-" NM yawned. 

"Sorry" Ari yawned. 

"It's okay we should probably go to bed" 

"Wait newie hand me my phone" 

"Where is it?" 

"I don't know" NM laughed and felt around

"Ari you need to let go if you want me to find it" 

"Noooooooo" Ari held on tighter. NM ended up finding it even with Ari on him. 

"Here dude" handing the phone to Ari who grabbed it and opened up his calendar app. 

"What you doing?" 

"Putting the day and time you asked me out. So I can make sure we remember" 

"You're a snap add it to my calendar too so I remember" 

"Done" Ari threw his phone on the other side of the bed and wrapped himself around NM. "Alright bedtime love" 

"Not yet I have to pee" 

"Noooooooo"

"Ari I got to pee" 

"You always have to pee" 

"Yeah, that's what happens when you stay hydrated. Which I do, unlike someone in this bed" 

"Fine go pee" Arizona let go and NM gave him a quick kiss before going off to the bathroom. 

NM came back to find Ari under the covers cuddling NM's pillow, fighting to stay awake. NM smiled, he picked up Ari's, and his phone plugged them in. He grabbed his pillow back and got under the covers. Ari wrapped himself around NM. NM gave him a quick kiss. 

"Hmmm you really like kissing me I see" 

"I do" NM blushed

"Well am not complaining at all" Ari gave NM a nice long kiss. This time NM put his hands in Ari's hair pulling him closer.

"definitely not complaining," Ari said eyes only half-closed. 

"Good you getting lots of kisses from now on" NM gave him a quick peck "but we really should sleep" 

Ari hummed he wiggled down so his head was resting on new Mexico's chest. NM ran in fingers through Arizona's hair. 

"If this is a dream don't ever wake me up" 

"Don't worry Ari it isn't. I'll still be here when you wake up" 

"You better" Ari gave one more yawn and then fell asleep. 

He held onto Ari thinking about how everyone seemed to know before them. But how that didn't matter too much now. It felt right being here holding Ari . 

They are finally together :D NM also learns he enjoys kisses. also the amount of times I was yawning while writing this! days of me yawning for no reason other than writing and editing this

[asoftervirge]

Of “Love” & Murder - (12/13)

CHAPTER TITLE: Revenge, Like Chocolate, Can Be Both Bitter and Sweet

RATING: M PAIRINGS: P. Sanders/V. Sanders (main/one-sided); R. Sanders/V. Sanders (former); V. Sanders/L. Sanders (former); V. Sanders/D. Sanders (former); Remy/E. Picani (side); T. Sanders/OMC (mentioned)

CHAPTER WARNINGS/KINKS: Remus Sanders, mentions of Satanic symbolism, Ted Bundy/Jeffrey Dahmer/serial killer references, Rocky Horror Picture Show reference, Poison, Swearing, mentions of Janus Sanders, referenced Smut, Smutty Thoughts, mentions of Sex Toys, Thanatophobia (fear of dying), mentions of Previous Deaths, various Methods of Murder, mentions of Violence, Descriptions of Murder, brief mention of Prison Rape, Dumpster Diving, Eating/Eating Gross Food, talks of Grey Morality, Morally Grey Patton, Baking/Food mentions CHAPTER SUMMARY: Patton meets with Remus.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Here we are! We’re now at the second to last chapter! Despite the low reception of this fic, I’m very happy with it and it’s been so much fun posting it and seeing everyone’s reactions to it. Fun fact: I’m not real sure what rating this chapter would be under. Obviously it has mature stuff because of Remus, but it’s not too extreme to where no body can read it. It’s not a murder chapter, but he does talk about murder, so maybe it’s best to leave it M rated. lol Happy All Hallow’s Eve, everyone! Have fun reading! xx Virge

INSPIRATION: This post by @phantomofthesanderssides

AO3 || Buy Me A Ko-Fi!

To say Patton was nervous was an extreme understatement.

He was pacing back and forth in an alleyway— the location where Remus wanted to meet— going between fiddling with the hem of his sweater, and twirling a stray curl of hair. Blue eyes frantically scanned the dingy place he was in, not wanting to suddenly be jumped by a dangerous stranger.

Brick walls were stained with something the confectioner didn’t want to know what. Droplets of water from the gutters above dropped down onto the cobblestone. Garbage cans were tipped over, rotting food and other things made the air smell putrid.

A black cat scurried from behind one and past his feet, meowing loudly.

Patton squeaked and flinched as it went by. After collecting himself, he started to fidget more.

He hoped Remus would be here soon. With every minute he was in this alley, he was growing more and more frightened.

Despite this, he tells himself that this is worth it.

For Roman.

For Logan.

For Dorian.

For himself.

In the midst of his self-panic and self-reassurances, Patton didn’t catch the sounds of the metal fence behind him being scaled upon.

“So, you’re Patton Hart, hmm?” A high-pitched, slightly screechy voice said.

Patton yelped and spun around, instantly being greeting with the sight of Remus.

The man looked completely different from Roman, it was almost hard to believe that they were brothers, let alone twins. While the former thespian was composed, elegant, and beautiful, Remus…was anything but.

He looked like a rebellious punk, to put it simply.

Remus’ hair was oily-looking, very unkempt and scrappy; dark brown, almost black in color with touches of green hair dye in it and a single streak of silver. He was clad in a leather biker vest, various patches decorating it, and a fishnet shirt underneath which displayed all of his bruises, cuts, and scabs. His pants almost reminded him of Virgil’s jeans: ripped yet his were baggy as opposed to tight-fitting. His ankle boots were spiked, decorated with an upside down cross and a symbol that looked to be very satanic.

As a matter of fact, all of his jewelry appeared to be just that: skulls and satanic symbols. They were predominantly pieces that littered his neck, but he was also studded with a lot of piercings: a labret plus a lip, multiple ear and eyebrow ones, a chained nose, and a belly button. And all of them were silver as opposed to the gold Roman used to wear.

Looking at him twice over, Remus seemed to be a combination of Roman, Remy, and Toby.

Patton quickly straightened himself up, not wanting the other man to see just how scared he was.

“And you must be Remus Duke,” he responded back. His voice shook a little as he spoke. “I have to say, and I hope you don’t think me rude, but you looking nothing like your brother.”

Remus snorts. “That’s a compliment.” He tells him. “I’d rather not be a goody-goody Abel like my brother was.” He looked Patton up and down, giving him a quirked expression, “Ain’t you a bit saccharine to get help from me? Shouldn’t you be getting ready for beddy-bye time?”

“No!” Patton yells stubbornly. He recoils and tries again. “I-I mean, no. I really, really need your help, Remus. This is the only way I can truly stop Virgil.”

“Ha ha! So you’re also Virgil’s newest boy toy!” Remus grinned manically. Patton squealed and shivered in disgust at that. “I swear he goes through boy toys faster than either Ted Bundy or Jeffrey Dahmer did with their victims. Well, not as fast, but—”

“C-Cut it out!” Patton shrieked, stomping his foot in childish anger. He grew sickened at the thought of a monstrous killer like Bundy or a twisted cannibal like Dahmer, and comparing Virgil to them just made it worse.

(It was in that moment when the confectioner remembered the words Dorian told him before he divulged into how he was murdered. While Virgil was a horrible individual, he was nothing like how those men were. They were all criminals, yes, but the widower was somehow of a lesser evil.)

Trying to relax his shoulders, Patton asked again. “Are you going to help me or not?”

Still grinning, Remus jumped off the fence and onto the cobblestone. It wasn’t pleasant sounding as he fell flat on his ass. But he appeared to be okay as he shot straight into the air and began fishing through his pockets, humming Touch-a , Touch-a, Touch-a Touch Me under his breath while he searched.

“Ha ha!” he exclaimed when he finally found what it was he was looking for. He pulled out a vial of sinister-looking liquid, skull and crossbones marked on the front of it.

Poison.

Cyanide, to be more specific.

“This should be the very thing that’ll fuck Virgy-poo up!” Remus exclaimed happily. Then he pouted. “Lucky bastard,” he mumbled. “Just put this in whatever it is you’re gonna give him and watch with glee as he chokes and dies! Ooh, that sounds fun! Can I come and watch too?!”

“No!”

Remus pouted more, actually looking sad.

Patton was about to walk over and grab the vial but Remus stopped him.

“Not so fast, Mr. Fluffy Butthole.” Patton scrunched his nose. A serious look was in Remus's emerald green eyes. “Why do I have the stinky feeling this is for more than just my brother?”

The confectioner reeled back. “…What?”

“You wouldn’t have gotten my number from Toby and call me by saying ‘how would you feel about helping me avenge your brother’ without wanting to do more.” Remus narrowed his gaze. “You wanna avenge Virgil’s other husbands too, don’t you? Spouses or whatever they were.”

Patton opened his mouth to try and say something, but all he could do was sigh and nod. “You’re right,” he finally tells him. “It’s for more than just your brother. It’s also for Virgil’s second spouse, Logan Oxford—”

“That author who seemed so stubborn xe had a stick up xyr butt? Man, xe needed to get laid.”

“…xe were asexual…”

“…Emotionally laid, then.”

“You mean having a loving, supportive relationship?”

Remus gagged. “Don’t be lewd!”

“Xe were also aromantic.”

“I could’ve helped with that!” Remus grinned. “But if xe were also asexual, then it would’ve been no dice. Hehe, dick ice, hehe!”

Patton ignored him and continued on from before. “— and his third, Dorian Cain—”

“Ah! The serpent-y lawyer whose tongue was for more than lying!” Remus grinned more. Since he was a little closer to him, Patton could see the yellow of his teeth. “I’ve heard that he and Virgil were a lot alike. Plus, they were really able to get” – he wriggled his hips – “it” – he started thrusting “on!”

The confectioner blinked, then sighed deeply and tiredly. How exactly was he Roman’s twin brother? (He could practically hear Roman sighing along with him).

“I was in cahoots with him, you know!” Remus tells him, still thrusting for some silly reason.

“So I’ve heard,” Patton tells him, not wanting to delve into details about the supernatural encounters he had. He didn’t need to give this guy the time of day. “They said you called him about wanting him to find evidence on Virgil, but he said no.”

“Yep!” Remus stopped mid-thrust and emphasized on the p. “He accused me of wanting to slander a celebrity, like everybody else did. But it was also because he didn’t want to put his own husband on trial or some other bullshit.”

He blinked then continued thrusting. “I wonder what would’ve happened if I got to him first?” he mumbled to himself in curiosity. He turned to Patton with a grin. “You think Virgil is great in bed? I would’ve given that lawyer the time of his life! We would’ve fuck for days and weeks on end using all the neat kinky toys I have! Plus, all the crazy flexible sex positions?!” He bobbed his head from side-to-side, singing. “Anyone Virgil could do, I could do better~!”

Apparently, Virgil did that and then some, Patton couldn’t help but think to himself, suddenly being reminded of how explicit Virgil and Dorian were. (If the lawyer were here, he’d probably be flattered and chuckle in his ear).

“But it’s more than them too!” the confectioner exclaims, continuing on from where he left off previously. “It’s for any other potential victim of Virgil’s…and me too…”

“Oh?!” This intrigued Remus as he now had Patton’s full attention. “How so?” He could see the confectioner tugging and fiddling with his sweater. Remus actually saw him doing this when he was stalking the alleyway. It must be a grounding mechanism for him or something, kind of like how he plays with his fingers.

“Because—because I’m scared of dying.”

Remus blinked. “You are?”

“Yes— Of course, I am!” Patton didn’t know why the other man was acting like dying isn’t something to be feared. Because, to him, especially in this circumstance, it was. “If I don’t do anything to stop Virgil, I’m scared I’m gonna die. And I don’t wanna die.”

Tears came to his eyes, he rubbed them away with a fist.

“I don’t want to end up like the others. I don’t want a ribbon around my neck, or arsenic in my belly, or a bullet in my head. I don’t want to have my life cut short by someone who might actually want me dead!”

Now he had both fists rubbing harshly at his cheeks. “There’s so much of my life I want to live. There was so much of their lives that they had yet to live. And I want to be able to avenge that…I want my friends, and even you, to be at ease knowing they finally found peace.”

Remus watched awkwardly as Patton cried in front of him. He wasn’t all that good with the emotional, cutesy, kind-wordsy stuff like his brother was. But if Roman was in this situation, he would know what to do better than anyone else.

He knew the moments when his brother would need a hug, and this would be one of them.

So, he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Patton, letting him sob into his shoulder.

Patton curled further into him, not caring that he smelled of body odor and garlic.

“Hey, hey,” he murmured. “It’s okay. It’ll all be a-okay.”

The confectioner sniffled. “How do you know that?” he asked, voice thick with emotion.

“Because that mean, nasty Virgil’s gonna get what’s coming to him!” Remus tells him. He takes Patton’s tear-stained glasses and licked them clean. He then walked over to a garbage can and fished out a dirty napkin to wipe them with. “Here you go!”

Patton grimaced as he put his… ‘newly cleaned’ glasses back on.

“Even if Roman didn’t like me all that much, he was one of my favorite people,” Remus continues. “And I was incredibly upset when he was killed, or ‘committed suicide,’ as the police suspected.” He narrowed his eyes. “I wanted to bring Virgil to court, I really did, but there was no evidence left at the crime scene.”

Remus snarled; fists clenched together tightly. “When they told me that…I was thinking of contemplating murder myself.” He shook his head. “There were so many things I wanted to do to him.” He began counting on his fingers, “Disembowel him, let my pet rats feed on his body, flood my teeth with his spine, build a sandcastle out of his ashes. You name it, I wanted to do it.”

Patton got visibly sickened with each possible method of murder and violence.

“And yet I couldn’t do anything. I may be a wildcard, but Virgil is much more cunning. He’s slipperier than a bar of prison soap.” Patton dared not ask what he meant by that. “Plus, he might’ve expected that I would come and destroy him when I got the chance. So, there wasn’t anything I could do.”

“But you tried though,” the confectioner says. “Despite there not being evidence, you still went and contacted Dorian Cain to try and see what would happen.”

Remus nodded. “Well, yeah. I figured I might as well eat the bullet and chew until I’m forced to spit it out. And so, I called Dorian’s law firm and asked anyway. Even though I was told ‘no,’ something deep within my dick told me that he might try and do something in secret. When I saw in the papers that he had also killed himself, I thought my chances were ruined for good.”

“However,” he then held out the vial of poison for Patton to take. He could see just how dirty his fingers were: bruised, chewed-up fingernails, chipped black and green nail polish, and grime around the cuticles. “You can be the one to finish him off. Do what me and Dorian couldn’t, and put that murdering piece of shit in the ground where he belongs.”

At first, Patton seemed hesitant about taking it from him, but after everything he’s witnessed, everything he’s heard, everything he’s feared, his resolve was hardened.

He takes the vial and stuffs it in his pocket.

Standing closer to Remus, he can see the details he couldn’t see from afar: flakes of dandruff in his hair; messy, purple, smoky eyeshadow; black lipstick that was slightly smeared; a little bit of stubble growing above his lip; along with any other cuts, bruises, and scabs on his skin.

Not only that, he could see the various patches on his biker vest; only a small handful of them were satanic and anarchist symbols, while the rest were a mixture of things Remus must enjoy. A green sword with tentacles coming from it, a Morningstar, an anatomical heart, a bloodshot eyeball, a skeleton, a peach, a couple octopi and krakens, an alien, a peach, a hazardous symbol, some that involve cursing and parental advisory, some dark Disney ones, an opossum with he/him pronouns, the aromantic flag, and lastly, one that has ‘Duke’ on it in graffiti.

Despite his appearance, Patton might consider this gross man…not so much a friend, but an ally.

“…Remus?” Said man leans in closer, making Patton bend back. “…Thank you. Truly. I wouldn’t have been able to do any of this without your help.”

He waved nonchalantly. “Eh, don’t worry about it,” he tells him. He walks over to one of the garbage cans and starts rummaging through it once more. “It’s the least I can do. Being an assistant— heh, ass-istant— is better than being forced to sit back and do nothing.” He pulls out a rotting banana, unpeeling it and then taking a bit bite out of it.

Patton looked like he was going to throw up.

Mid-chew, he looked back at the confectioner. “You know,” he mumbled, browning banana flying out of his mouth. “For someone who looks all pure and morally righteous, you gotta little bit of grey in ya.”

“I’m only doing this for good.”

“Maybe,” Remus gulps loudly then takes another huge bite. “But you’re still planning on killing him. No matter how you justify it, redrum is redrum.”

“Redrum?”

“Murder. The Shining. Stephen King.”

Patton hummed.

“Seriously though, who am I to talk morals schmorals to you? Good and bad is all made up nonsense!” Another loud gulp, another big bite. “So! When are you gonna do the do?”

“You mean do the deed?”

“Same thing!”

“Tomorrow.”

“Ooh! On Halloween night too!” Remus grinned excitedly. Patton had honestly forgotten that it would be Halloween, having been so preoccupied with everything has was going on at 613 Rue Morgue. “Are you suuure I can’t come with you?”

“I’m sure, Remus. Thank you.”

Remus pouts again, but he quickly shrugged it off.

“Ah well,” he drops the banana peel at his feet. Litter bug. He started to scale up the fence, allowing Patton to see the large green kraken that covered his back. “I guess I’ll leave the rest to you. Good luck, Patton!”

With a gleeful wave, Remus jumps over and disappears into the shadows from whence he came.

Patton stays in his spot for the longest time.

Maybe…he was a bit grayer than he realized. Through his entire life, he was never really challenged on his morals. He always played by the rules and laws of life, not wanting to face the punishments for having done something wrong.

But now, he was.

He was faced with someone who had a complete disregard for them and is walking a free man with three murders (maybe even more) stained on his hands.

And here he was, wanting to change all of that.

Like he said to Remus, it was for a good cause: to have their spirits be appeased and to have Virgil never commit any heinous crimes ever again. Even if the solution was a permanent one.

Maybe…the other man was right. Maybe…good and bad really is made up nonsense.

With the thoughts of his newly-placed morals in his head, Patton finally left the alleyway.

The alleyway that Remus chose was in the lower part of town, the shadier and troublemaking part to be specific. And even though Patton could have chosen to take his car, he walked since he lived close by in the lower regions of downtown.

It was a long but much needed walk for the confectioner to take.

While the air proved to be chilly, the autumn leaves dropped down onto the ground, creating a little ombre of colors on the sidewalk. The night sky was a trifecta of rich purples, deep blues, and cool blacks. Dots of white twinkled above, making the picturesque scene complete.

Patton looked around at all the holiday decorations that were on display. All of the ghosts, witches, scarecrows, and grim reapers all gave him a bit of a fright. The fake tombstones and giant rope spider webs made him squeak and turn his head for a split second. But he smiled at seeing the differently carved jack-o-lanterns— some more intricate than others— and the outdoor lights that glowed in various colors, like orange, purple, green, blue, red, white, and black. Though what really got a giggle out of him, were the inflatables that stood on each lawn; some were of pumpkins, others were black cats, and was the occasional spooky tree.

Many people love going all out on Halloween, and the confectioner was one of them, having spent so many hours throughout September and October transforming the interior of his shop.

He continued walking into downtown, fog hovering over the street lamps as the air grew a little denser and colder. The streets were slightly bustling as people were walking to and from various stores, all in last-minute preparation for tomorrow night. Many of them were families, with children bouncing up and down excitedly about their costumes while the parents held bags that were presumably filled with candy and other goodies.

It all made Patton smile, for he had that same childish whimsy.

The confectioner didn’t stop walking until he came to a very familiar brown building, the words Patty’s Sweet Confectionaries swirled in fancy but readable font on the window.

Patton took a minute to gently trace his fingers across the white lettering. He still remembers the first day he opened its doors, a young and bright-eyed man who simply wanted to spread the sugary joy that his grandmother used to give him.

With a deep breath, he walked into his confectionery shop, the jingle of the bell above the door made his heart swell up a little. Once inside, he gazed around, nostalgia and melancholy shone in his eyes as he flipped on the lights.

Golden chandeliers glowed from the cream-colored ceiling as the shop became illuminated, presenting the changes that Patton had made. The only other things that remained the same were the dark brown and white tile, and the wooden stands and tables dressed with dishes and bowls, but what filled them had changed since September.

Eyeball-shaped white chocolate truffles, and ghostly popcorn balls were now the specialty treats for the holiday; along with cookies in the shape of skeletons, and white chocolate bark with candy corn. In the display case were still the traditional chocolates, but there were also pumpkin spiced cakes and cupcakes, along with macaroons of varying monstrous design and Frankenstein cereal treats.

However, the two favorites were front and center: gooey marshmallow, and glistening candy apples. The best part about them? The marshmallow is dyed in accordance to the holiday, and the candy apples were also coated with white icing to make it look like Snow White’s poisoned one from the Disney movie.

Walking in further, he plugged in the decorative lights that hung from the walls. The miniature pumpkin luminary bags added another layer of festive spirit to the store, and they paired nicely with the cutout garlands Patton had made some-years back.

The confectioner tenses up as he feels vial of poison roll into his hands from inside his pocket.

A part of him still feels conflicted about doing something like this.

Obviously he knows what Virgil did was horrible and wrong, but on the other hand, he wished there was a much simpler way to see his downfall come to fruition. But as Remy and Toby said, if the police were working with him, then it was impossible to see lawful justice be served to him. (Dorian tried it, and look what happened.)

So this was the only option he had left.

Resolve slowly hardening, Patton made his way to the kitchen to begin work.

He began pulling out giant mixing bowls— both silver and copper, measuring cups, double boilers, spoons and forks, and a plethora of ingredients in order to create the perfect box of poisonous chocolates.

Patton didn’t need to think about which ones he would give to the widower, he knew the recipes for each one by memory.

The first recipe read:
 “1 lb of dark chocolate 16 maraschino cherries with the stem 3 tablespoons softened butter 3 tablespoons light corn syrup 2 cups sifted confectioners’ sugar”

Parts of the second read:
 “2/3 cups dark chocolate chips 1/3 cup + 2 tablespoons of heavy cream A dash of cinnamon”

The third read:
 “7 oz. finely chopped dark chocolate 1/3 cup espresso ½ tablespoons unsalted butter ½ cup unsweetened cocoa powder”

And finally, the fourth read: 
“1 cup melted cocoa butter 1 tablespoon cocoa powder 3 tablespoon dark chocolate ½ teaspoon almond extract”

Within each recipe, he made sure to add the cyanide poisoning into the mixtures, adding a bit more than necessary so that it wouldn’t be masked by any of the other ingredients. (He wore protective gear, of course. The same mask and gloves he wore whenever he dabbled in making anything featuring liquid nitrogen.)

Hours later, he had batches cooling on racks and baking sheets. And after checking that he had a perfect set of thirty-two, he began the decorating process. Glazes, icings, and sugars scattered about in the air and dusted his face, hair, and fingers.

Once everything was done up all nice and pretty, Patton placed them all in a box: a black one topped with a bow of dark violet ribbon.

Patton stood back and observed his craftsmanship. A deep frown slowly made its way to his face.

The first part of the deed was done…

…now? It was time for Virgil to have a taste of his own chocolatey medicine.

[rachel1987]

Feather in My Cap

Inspiration struck today and I wrote this...

SYNOPSIS: An unexpected visitor joins Hatter and Hare for their tea party. And Hare wants them gone.

Rated T for language.

xposted on AO3 and FF.net!

--

Hare walked up the path to Hatter's house with a spring in his step. He was having a rather good day. The sun was shining, the sky was clear, there was a cool breeze running through the trees, his garden was in full bloom! The only thing that could make the day better was a nice tea party with his best friend! And that's exactly what the plan was!

He strode up the little walkway humming to himself, stopping to do a little jig and a spin, when he stopped and faced the little gate with the address 1602 Teapot Terrace assigned to it.

"Someone is in a good mood today!" came a familiar voice from the tea table.

"Gwahuhuh…" Hare chortled, hopping the fence gleefully, beaming. "Hello Hatter!"

"You look like you found an extra chocolate pudding cup in the back of your fridge again," the tall man laughed from his seat on the table. "What's got you in such a good mood?"

Hare did another little happy spin, stopping dead in his tracks as his eyes focused on the Hatter. He was surrounded by mountains of mail and he was sorting them by envelope color, all address side down, sipping from a purple teacup. And, curiously, he had a green parrot sitting upon his head.

Hare's mouth gaped a little, not quite sure what to say. It was a strange sight. "Hatter, what is that perched on your head?"

"My top hat, silly!" he replied with a laugh, shoulders bouncing. "I think you've seen it before!"

"No, not thaat!" Hare waved his hands, pointing at the bird with a yellow finger. "The parrot!"

"Oh, that!" Hatter sat upright, reaching his hands up and removing his hat, the parrot not shifting from its spot. He paused, as if to drop some big news on his best friend, before shrugging. "I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know? Where'd it come from?" Hare rushed around the table, quite intrigued, taking a seat at his usual spot to Hatter's left.

"I went to get my mail and it landed upon my noggin while I was on my way there…" Hatter mused, reaching a gloved finger out and petting the parrot sweetly. It closed his eyes and fluffed out, nuzzling the digit lovingly. "I tried to chase it off, but it kept following me. So I brought it back here. I've named it Fedora."

Hare reached his hand out and the bird seemed completely uninterested and, if it were a human, would have sneered at him. It continued to love on Hatter's attention, nibbling at the seam at his glove.

"I think it's a blue-crowned conure," Hare said matter-of-factly, adjusting his glasses on his nose. Hatter's brow dropped and he glanced at his friend quizzically, blinking a few times. "I know stuff…" Hare added.

"Well, anyhow, this bird must belong to someone. I've never seen one in Wonderland before."

"I wonder who it belongs to…" Hare leaned his elbows on the table, watching the bird hop off of the top hat and roam its way around. It walked all the way down to Dormouse's teapot, knocked on it with its beak and squawked.

The lid of the teapot flipped open and a brown head popped out, looking around. "Someone knock?" He blinked and he focused on the bird, gave a loud shriek and dove back into the depths of his house, slamming the lid behind him.

The parrot chuckled to itself, bobbing its little head, eyes slitted as he made its way back to Hatter.

"I like it…" Hatter announced, placing his hat back upon his head.

"What should we do with it?" Hare asked, reaching his hand out again to see if the bird would accept him. He was completely ignored, Fedora going the long way around various teacups and food trays so it wouldn't have to even look at him.

"I don't know…" Hatter muttered, who was quite taken with the bird. Usually he wasn't one for pets (Hare had been asking for one for years) but this little parrot had charmed him in the hours since they had met.

"Do you think it talks?" Hare asked. "Some conures can speak, you know."

"Hmm…" Hatter considered this, a finger to his lips as Fedora climbed up his other arm. "Fedora, can you say 'top hat'?"

Fedora looked at him, blinked, cocked its head to the side and said "Top hat!"

Hatter and Hare gasped, looking at each other with excited expressions on their faces.

"Can you say 'crumpet'?" Hare asked.

Fedora looked at him with angry eyes and turned its head away, causing his shoulders to droop in disappointment.

"Come on, Fedora! Say 'crumpet'!" Hatter said the word slowly, like how you'd say it to a child who was learning to speak.

With its eyes still slitted, it peeked over at the Hatter and whispered "Crumpet."

Hatter laughed joyously but the Hare was getting the feeling that the bird didn't like him very much. Maybe he just had to warm up to him. After all, the Hatter had been with him for a couple hours. Perhaps it just took time for him to get used to you.

They spent the next few hours building the parrot's vocabulary, eventually learning that he could repeat entire sentences too. As the day turned into night, they moved the party inside, settling on the sofa in front of the television watching Hatter Knows Best reruns. They were sipping tea and eating cookies when the Hatter had an idea.

"How about this…" Hatter said aloud. "Fedora, repeat after me: A pirate, history relates, Was scuffling with some of his mates, When he slipped on a cutlass, Which rendered him nutless, And practically useless on dates."

Hare snorted and choked on his tea, eyes filling with tears as he laughed. "Hatter!" he bellowed, shaking his head. "That's terrible! Where did you hear that?"

"It's in my dirty joke book…" Hatter shrugged, pulling it out from between the cushions of the couch and handing it to the hare. "What do you say, little guy? A pirate, history relates…"

Fedora, who was sitting upon Hatter's knee, fluttered its wings and shouted at the top of its lungs "Nutless!"

Hatter's mouth fell open and he slowly gazed at the Hare, making eye contact with him.

"Hatter, do you know what this means?"

Hatter beamed like the 12 year old he is and nodded.

"We can teach it dirty words!" they shouted together, laughing joyously. Hare completely forgot that the bird had been throwing him major shade all night, getting wrapped up in this realization.

They spent the rest of the evening and into the early morning hours teaching Fedora all sorts of dirty words, giggling like little boys the entire time. No words were off limits, they went through every dirty word in the Wonderland dictionary. They knew because they opened it and went page by page to find them all.

It was nearly two in the morning when the Hare yawned, having a headache from all their laughing. "It's getting late, Hatter. Maybe I should go home."

Hatter was sitting on the sofa, Hare leaned against him, Fedora puttering around the table still full of energy. He was tired and didn't feel like going to bed alone tonight.

"Why don't you stay the night?" Hatter offered.

Hare yawned again and nodded, not needing much encouragement. "Sure," he said with a smile, patting Hatter on the knee as he got to his feet, making his way to the bathroom. Hatter watched him leave before returning his attention to Fedora.

"Okay, little guy, it's time for beddy-bye." Hatter scooped the bird up and placed him in a birdcage they had set it up in the kitchen while they made dinner earlier that night. They discovered it in the attic and it didn't have a front door, but it would serve its purpose well enough. Fedora walked himself in, sat on the little swing inside, tucked his head under his wing and fell asleep almost immediately.

Hatter made his way to his bedroom, removing his bow tie and putting his top hat on its home, before getting ready for bed.

--

"HATTTEEEERRRRRR!" came a loud scream from the darkness of the house.

Hatter's eyes shot open from a dead sleep and he ran through the house, tripping over all manner of items that blocked his way in the darkness. He reached the kitchen, shirtless, heart pounding and out of breath, to find Hare on top of the fridge, Fedora stomping around on the floor, laughing his ass off, screaming all the dirty words they had taught it earlier that night.

"Hatter, that -thing- chased me up here! It's going to kill me!"

"Oh, Hare!" Hatter wheezed, putting his hand to his chest as his bare feet walked over the linoleum, bending down to pick up the parrot. "I thought this was serious. Fedora isn't going to kill you."

"Yes it is!" Hare protested, holding his hand up defensively, as if the bird would attack at any moment. "I swear to god, Hatter! We have to get rid of that thing!"

"Oh, pfffft!" Hatter waved Hare's fears away, placing the bird on his shoulder to let it nuzzle against his neck.

"I'm serious!" Hare climbed off the top of the fridge and was standing on the countertop, keeping a six foot distance from the bird at all times. "It doesn't like me! I just came out here to get a glass of water and it chased me! It kept screaming 'fuck you' at me!"

"Did you do that, Fedora?" Hatter asked the bird, who laughed like an asshole and muttered the words 'mutha fucka'.

"See!" Hare pointed at it with his finger. "It hates me!"

"Alright, alright!" Hatter bobbed his head around. "Fine! Tomorrow we'll make posters and put them up around Wonderland. Try to find his home."

Hare sighed gratefully, still standing on the countertop. "Thank you…" he breathed. He bent down and went to put his foot on the linoleum when Fedora flapped its wings and squawked, causing Hare to leap back onto the fridge again.

--

The rest of the night was a wash. They had to put Fedora in the attic because he kept knocking on the bedroom door like a parent who was making sure no hanky-panky was going on. Hare was so nervous that the bird was going to learn to open doors, that he spent most of the night watching infomercials on television, eyes darting to the gap below the door to make sure little feet weren't there.

At around noon the three set out to the Wonderland Mall. They were going to get a photo taken of Fedora at the Smear's Photo Center and then go to Copy/Paste/Print and get posters made so they could put them around to try to find Fedora's original owner.

They had to hide the parrot under Hatter's top hat in order to get on the bus, the driver had a strict 'no pets' policy in place it seemed. Hatter kept fidgeting because the bird was trying to nest in his blond locks, causing him to look like a toddler who had to go to the bathroom.

When they finally got to the mall, Hatter had to comb his hair out in the men's bathroom because his pride just wouldn't let him be seen with an unruly mop, even if it was underneath his cap.

"You ready?" Hare asked, clearly already done with the Hatter's shit today. He hadn't slept at all and the bird kept making lunges at him.

"Yes…" Hatter beamed, Fedora perched on his shoulder as they entered the mall, beelining for the Smear's Photo Center.

They would meet with disappointment though. Smear's, it seems, only took photographs of people. Pets were strictly prohibited.

"Guess we'll have to go to WonderPetsmart…" Hare groaned. He hated going into that store, it made him uncomfortable.

"How was I to know that Smear's wouldn't take photos of your pet unless they're a service animal!" Hatter shouted, clearly in an outrage. "And could you believe they didn't believe me when I said he -was- my service animal!"

"Yes… it's a wonder how they didn't believe that was your Visual Description parrot because you're visually impaired…" Hare rolled his eyes, hearing the parrot shout "fuck you" at the top of its voice.

They made their way across the mall, passing all sorts of fun shops that on any other day they would have meandered through to browse. Hare really wanted to stop at the bath shop to smell candles and maybe get another bath toy, but of course the damn parrot was messing up his plans.

They got to WonderPetsmart and stopped outside, seeing a large sign posted in the window for their photo services.

"Look, Hare! A 2-for-1 deal!" Hatter read, pointing out the sign. "Maybe we should have brought the Dormouse along! We could have gotten his portrait done for his graduation announcement cards."

"Yes, such a shame…" Hare rolled his eyes, his skin crawling as he looked into the shop. He liked pet sores on a good day, but some of them frankly weirded him out.

They made their way inside and straight to the photo counter, where they took a number and waited to be called. It seemed they were busy and they would have to wait a little. They browsed around, looking at the puppies in the window and all the pet collars and water dishes, when Hatter started shouting from a couple aisles over.

"Hare! Hare, come look at this!"

Hare made his way and stopped at the head of the aisle when he saw the Hatter, holding Fedora, who was wearing a little peter pan collar and an attached bow tie.

"I think this is the perfect look for his portrait!" Hatter beamed, standing among a dozen or more pet accessories that were thrown around the floor.

"You're… dressing up the parrot? That you're going to give away?" Hare arched an eyebrow, hands on his hips.

"Well…" he shrugged, adjusting the little bow tie on the proud parrot's chest. "He should look his best when he gets his picture taken. Wouldn't want the photo to not come out right."

Hare sighed and put a hand to his face, rubbing his eyes under his glasses as he heard a voice from the counter call their number.

"Oh, goody!" Hatter shouted, scrambling to get to the counter.

Thirty minutes later, they left WonderPetsmart, photos in hand.

"Did you really have to get your photo taken with the bird?" Hare asked, flipping through the prints they purchased. None of them were of just Fedora, all of them featured the Hatter as well. There was one of the parrot on his hat, one on his shoulder, one of Fedora whispering something in Hatters ear (who had a surprised look on his face), one of them pointing at each other and laughing…

"Come on, Hare! It didn't cost any extra!" Hatter shrugged, nabbing the photographs out of his friend's hands and looking at them himself. "I think they came out swell!"

Hare rolled his eyes and they made their way to Copy/Paste/Print. Another half an hour passed and they left the shop with 200 paper flyers printed.

"You still want to go to Movie Land Videos and pick up a tape for movie night?" Hatter asked, holding Hare's hand as they walked. They had made up a little while they were in the copy store, but that was probably because Fedora had to hide under Hatter's top hat again in order to get inside.

"Sure, that sounds like fun," Hare agreed. "Maybe we'll grab dinner from the Carpenter's Pizzeria. I think they have that Wednesday night special on large pizzas."

"Indeedy do!" Hatter smiled, swinging their arms as they made their way to the video store. They browsed for a while, Hare in the Romance section and Hatter in the Adventure section, before they both met up in Comedy.

"I think 'Three Amigos'..." Hatter nodded, feeling the bird shift under his hat as his head bobbed.

"More like three's a crowd…" Hare muttered under his breath, hearing a soft 'mama's boy' come from under Hatter's dome. He scrunched his face up and shot daggers at that top hat, wishing he could rip it off his head and strangle the things neck.

"Hmm…" Hatter put a finger to his chin and continued to scan the titles that were available. "You sure you don't just want to watch Casablanca?"

"Hatter, I've already told you, that film is too long. I don't think you have the attention span for it."

Hatter harrumphed and continued to scan. Why was it always so hard to pick a movie to rent? It's like there were too many options!

They eventually settled on 'Spaceballs' because it featured a good looking human, a goofy looking animal sidekick and some potty humor. Hare also grabbed 'The Philadelphia Story' because he just had to watch it one more time.

Leaving with their selections, they dropped by the Carpenter's Pizzeria and grabbed a large double pepperoni pizza (remembering to tape a flyer to their window) and made their way to the bus stop to go home.

--

"We might want to reheat this…" Hare said as they walked through the front door. "It's looking a little cold."

"Nothing to worry about," Hatter waved, placing Fedora in his cage as he spoke. "We can just nuke it."

Hare glared at the bird, who glared back at him, before dishing out the pizza and setting them in the microwave.

Hatter got the vcr set up in the living room and Hare brought in the food and snacks. He'd also managed to brew some tea while getting everything together.

"We all set?" Hare asked, setting down a bowl of popcorn and the plates of pizza.

"I think so…" Hatter muttered, squatted down in front of the television, slamming the side of it with his palm to get the screen to work.

"You should really get a new one," Hare said, taking a seat on the sofa. "That one is probably fifteen years old."

"It's never not worked before…" Hatter scrunched up his face and gave it one last good thump, before the screen flickered into life. "Eureka!"

"My what?" Hare asked, mouth full of pepperoni.

"Here we are…" Hatter did a little dance and shuffled his way beside Hare, letting him cuddle into him as they relaxed together. They didn't make it very far into the film when an unwanted visitor made its presence known.

"Asshole! Asshole!" Fedora squawked as he flew onto the coffee table, landing in the bowl of popcorn. "Mutha fukka!"

Hare cringed and Hatter looked at it with an amused look on his face.

"Maybe we should have taught it better language…" Hare groaned, watching it root around on the table, flipping over paper plates and shoving things onto the floor.

"It would have learned it from somewhere. Better from us than from a stranger."

Hare thought about this and nodded. "How true that is," he said, before cuddling into Hatter's side, pulling the blanket up around them a little closer. Hare rested his head on Hatter's shoulder and watched the screen, chuckling at the space antics, when he felt something peck his head hard.

"Hey!" he shouted, hand going to his thick head of hair, turning to see Fedora where his head had been. He looked down at his fingers, glad to not see any blood, but furious all the same.

"What's the problem?" Hatter asked, clueless as ever.

"That -thing- bit me!"

Hatter gasped. "Fedora! Did you bite Hare?"

"Cocksucker!" he announced, flapping his wings and then making a noise that could only be described as sounding like a car alarm. Hare covered his ears and scooted away a little, a panicked look on his face.

Hatter didn't move an inch. He just smacked his lips and waited for the noise to end before speaking. "Guess he did."

"Hatter, can we put him in the attic?"

"That would be awfully rude, Hare," Hatter protested. "He'll miss the rest of the film." Fedora nuzzled up against the Hatter's neck, hiding in his blonde curls, making little happy chirping sounds.

Hare pulled his lips to one side and pouted, crossing his arms over his chest. For the rest of the night, every time Hare got too close to the Hatter, Fedora would make his car alarm sound until they were at least three feet apart. At the close of the evening, when they shared a goodnight kiss at the door, Fedora got so outraged that he swooped down and attacked Hare's head with his feet. He ran all the way home, sure that the bird from hell was following him.

--

"What are you doing, Mr Hare?" Alice asked, peeking around the tree to see Hare pinning a flyer to it.

It was the next morning and the Hare had already made good headway in putting up flyers. He had dropped by the Palace and the Tweedles and left a flyer with all of them, and had started littering the forest with them. It seemed like every tree had a flyer pinned to it.

"Oh, hi Alice," Hare smiled weakly. "I'm putting up flyers. Hatter found a parrot and we're trying to find its owner so we can give it back." Alice was offered a paper and took it, her green eyes scanning the black and white photo xeroxed onto it. The image was of the top of Hatter's head, eyes looking up at a medium sized parrot in a bow tie.

"What a cute parrot!" the girl smiled. "Looks like Hatter really likes him."

"Well, I hate it," Hare said uncharacteristically bluntly. "And it hates me."

"Oh, Mr Hare, I'm sure he doesn't hate you…" she tried to console him. "Nobody could hate you."

Hare looked at her with a pursed mouth and pulled his glove off, showing her his hand that was covered in bandages from beak bites.

"Oh…" Alice put a hand to her mouth, biting her lip a little. "Well, maybe if he just got to know you he'd like you."

"It called me a co-… not nice thing, Alice…" Hare stated. "It doesn't want to get to know me."

Alice grimaced and took the stack of flyers from the Hare, helping him put them up on trees and telephone poles as they walked.

After wandering around the Wonderland forest for half an hour, they arrived at the Hat house just in time for the afternoon tea party. Hare's bad mood had lightened up in the girl's company and he seemed more like his old jovial self. He was sure that the flyers were going to work! The parrot would soon be gone and his future was looking bright again!

"Hello, Mr Hatter!" Alice greeted him as Hare held the gate open for her.

Hatter was sitting crossed legged on the table, an eye patch covering his left eye and a large pirate hat on his head. Fedora was sitting on his shoulder in a miniature version of the same hat.

"Hello, Alice," he said as if nothing was amiss.

"That's… quite an interesting look you have going on there, Hatter…" Hare gaped.

"Was this a costume tea party?" Alice asked.

"No…" Hatter shook his head, again, like nothing was out of the ordinary. The large purple feather that stuck out of his hat swished at the movement. Fedora shouted "asshole!" at the Hare.

Alice and the Hare gasped as he covered her ears and the Hatter frowned at Fedora. "Fedora! There's a child present!"

Fedora cocked its head to the side and blinked, sneering at the Hare and saying "Buttface" at him.

The parrot seemed to like Alice enough. It allowed her to pet him and even sat on her shoulder for a little while.

"He seems nice to me…" she said with a smile, scratching it with her finger. The Hare sat at the far end of the table, arms crossed over his chest, with a flyswatter at the ready. "What do you think of him, Mr Hatter?"

"Oh, I think he's darrrrrrrling…" he said, slurring his 'r' in an attempt to sound like a pirate. Alice laughed and Hare looked at him blankly, still miffed. "You know what they say, Alice. A parrot is a pirate's best friend."

Getting up from his seat, the Hatter strode through the IN door of the Hat house and immediately through the OUT door, in a full pirate getup. The Rabbit would have thought the hat was gaudy, but the rest of his outfit would have been outright garish. It was as if Liberace and Elvis got together and decided to combine their forces to make the most outrageous pirate outfit ever. It had buckles and sparkles and fur and boots that went up just above Hatter's knees.

Hare's jaw dropped to the table. He wondered why he had never seen that outfit before and why he hadn't been allowed to try it on.

Hatter held his hand out and Fedora flew to him, landing with a proud squawk.

Shanty music started and Hatter strode to the table, strutting his stuff around like he had treasure spilling from his pockets, singing about the life of a pirate and how lonely it was. How his only friend was his parrot by his side! There were so many pirate puns it would have made the average Wonderlandian heave. But he worked it, Fedora adding in his own touches to the song every so often, shouting words like "Me bucko" and "Yo ho ho". This went on for about a minute before the Hatter walked back through the IN door and out the OUT door, returning in his regular purple suit with the mutton sleeves. He still had the hat and eye patch on. He walked calmly to his seat and sat down demurely, looking at Alice with a smile before saying

"I guess I like him okay."

After the initial shock of that music number, Hare shook his head and looked away from the Hatter, still pouting.

"Poo Poo head!" Fedora shouted.

--

The tea party continued and eventually Alice made her way home. The sun was going down when the candlestick phone started to ring from the center of the tea table. Hatter sauntered over to it, Fedora on his shoulder, and picked up the earpiece and the receiver.

"Hatter's hat making services: We've got a bonnet for your noggin, a chapeau for your nut and a helmet for your crown. This is the Mad Hatter speaking."

He was silent for a while, nodding and 'uh-huh'ing, Fedora pacing his shoulder. Hare watched the bird with contempt, sipping his tea angrily.

"Okay, well, thanks for calling…" Hatter said, nodding. "Y… Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow. Uh-huh. Okay... Bye Bye now."

He hung the phone up and took a seat on the table, grabbing another finger sandwich and nibbling on it.

Hare remained silent for a while, before the curiosity got to him. "Who was it?"

"It was Fedora's owner…" he said. "Or, rather, Sir Stenson's owner. They're coming to pick him up in the morning."

Hare spat his tea all down the front of him, not sure he was believing his ears. "W-what?"

Hatter looked up at him with a blank face. "Yup… looks like your flyer idea worked. Little guy is going home tomorrow."

Hare felt like the heavens opened up and light shone down upon him. He didn't think he'd be more happy if he had walked into a bedroom to see Hatter naked on a bed, covered in chocolate and strawberries.

"Really? You aren't shitting me?" Hare got so excited, he got to his feet and rushed over to Hatter, reaching out to him only for Fedora (or Sir Stenson) to car alarm.

"Nope," Hatter said coolly. "He's going back in the morning. You excited, little guy?"

Fedora fluffed up his chest and flapped his wings, as if that meant something. With slitted eyes, he glared at Hare, and muttered "Asshole."

--

The next morning couldn't come soon enough. The moment the sun was above the horizon, Hare was out of his bed, showered and on his way to the Hat house. The spring in his step that had vanished a couple days before was back! Nothing could bring him down!

He hummed to himself as he walked the pathways, thinking about all the snuggling and movie watching and smooching they'd be able to do once that damn parrot was out of their lives.

Doing a little jig, and a spin, he opened the gate and walked up to the tea table. Hatter was nowhere to be seen, so he must have still been asleep. Hare knocked, then waited… then used his key to get in.

He puttered around for a while in the house, noting that Hatter was still asleep and that damn parrot was in the bedroom with him. He made breakfast and cleaned the house a little as he waited for his friend to get up. He turned on the television and had a rerun of Oprah playing when the Hatter graced him with his presence. He was in his pajamas with a robe wrapped around himself and his top hat was on his head.

"This is a nice surprise…" Hatter said happily, taking a fresh cup of tea when it was offered. "You been waiting long?"

"No, not really," Hare shrugged, looking over the tall man's shoulder to see if it was safe to touch him. As if on cue, the bird swooped down and landed on his hat. Hare pouted.

"You've come to see Fedora off then?" Hatter asked, taking a seat and offering the parrot a crumpet.

"I thought you'd like the company," he replied, taking a seat as close as he dared to the him. "Do you know what time they're coming to get him?" He didn't want to seem too eager to see the bird gone… but he was ready for the thing to be gone.

"I think they said 10?" Hatter thought to himself. "I'm not really sure. I don't remember."

"Of course not…" Hare thought to himself, picking up a piece of toast and eating it.

There came a knock on the door and the pair sat up to attention. Hare got to his feet and answered it, seeing a man with round eyes, a little pencil mustache and a top hat on. "Hi, yes, I'm here for the parrot."

Hare turned and looked at the Hatter, who had gotten up from his seat, briskly walked into his bedroom and immediately back out again, looking like he had showered and taken great effort to dress himself. With long legs, he strode to the entryway, a welcoming smile on his face as he exited through the OUT door.

"Hi, welcome welcome! Would you like some tea?"

The man looked up at the Hatter (who was a foot taller than him) and gulped. "No… I want my parrot."

Hatter's happy demeanor faltered a little and his arms dropped to his sides. "Ah…" he muttered. "Well, here he is."

Lifting his top hat, the parrot was revealed, in his peter pan collared, bow tied glory.

"Sir Stenson!" the man exclaimed, clapping his hands. "Oh, thank you for taking good care of him!"

"Mutha Fucka!" Fedora shouted.

There was a crash as Hare dropped a full tray of tea and cups at the door and the man's face fell.

"Oh my…" the man muttered, putting a hand to his mouth.

"He, heh… might have learned a few things…" Hatter said with a nervous laugh. Why hadn't he thought this through?

The man gawked at the pair, put Sir Stenson in the cage he had under his arm, and scurried away without another word.

And, like that, the parrot was gone.

Hatter watched the man walk away, a little sad, wishing he'd had one more chance to say goodbye.

Hare's ears dropped, seeing that the Hatter was upset about losing Fedora. Sure, he didn't like him very much (at all really) but Hatter had grown attached. And he felt badly for him. Putting a hand out, he patted the tall man's shoulder. "It's okay, Hatter. We can get another pet."

Hatter scrunched up his face and sighed, remaining silent for a while. "Naw… that bird left feathers and shit all over my house."

He then strode away and into the Hat house to get some more crumpets, already almost completely forgetting about Fedora, the dirty talking parrot.

[keelywolfe]

FIC: Hickory Dick-ory Dock (baon)

Summary: A prequel to the series, a glimpse at how Sans and Red's relationship got started.

Tags:  Kustard, Angst, Ecto-Genitalia, Sex, Antagonism, Brats to Lovers, Lemony Goodness

Notes:  Okay, this is the last kustard one, I swear, Edge and Stretch just needed a little break after everything that happened. Besides, with all this Sans and Red stuff coming up, I thought it might be interesting to see how they started out. 

It's swell! Watch out for that lemony goodness!

Part of the ‘by any other name’ series.

~~*~~

Read it on AO3

or

Read it here!

~~*~~

It was either too early or way too fucking late to be awake, and Sans’s body hadn’t decided on which one yet. The only chair in the room was as shitty as the rest of the furniture, stiff-backed and with the kinds of stains it didn’t pay to think too deeply about. Not really worth sitting in except for those moments where someone shouldn’t be having a cigarette but still was. Supposed to be no smoking anywhere indoors, but in a motel that prided itself on a cash-only, Sans didn’t think anyone would be chasing them down for a cleaning fee.

Of the two vending machines by the elderly ice maker, only one of them worked and it reluctantly parted with a can of Pepsi for the rip-off price of two bucks. Not even an honest swindle, it was piss-warm and unsatisfying, even for someone without a proper throat.

The tiny bottle of whiskey he’d nabbed earlier on the plane was of a decent sort, though, helped smooth the path down, and by their powers combined, it was teetering on the edge of acceptable. Not like they were going to be here for long, anyway. Sulking about it would be petty waste of precious little time.

“you gonna offer me some of that or keep it for your private party?”

Sans glanced at the bed, but Red didn’t bother opening his sockets, still sprawled out in the wreck of the sagging mattress. A corner of the sheet was draped over his pelvis in a parody of modesty and the colorful splatter on his femurs made Sans idly think of the modern art at the museum Blue dragged all of them to a few weeks back.

Sans took a deliberate sip from the can, then a drag from the cigarette, holding in the smoke long enough for it to start seeping from his sockets before he exhaled it. “dunno, haven’t decided. maybe i like a solo act better.”

That got him a single socket opened, a thin rim of crimson showing. “yeah? was getting the idea earlier you preferred a duet. i spent the better part of an hour sucking you off, and this is the thanks i get?”

“isn’t it supposed to be the thought that counts when it comes to gifts?”

“uh huh, and what i’m thinking is it should be your turn to make your way downtown,” Red shifted, drawing his knees up and letting them fall to either side. The tangle of the sheet gave tantalizing glimpses of pelvis and the beginnings of a swirl of magic within it. “c’mere, little boy blue, come blow my horn.”

Sans snorted and crushed out the cigarette on the scarred old desk, leaving a blackened mark that matched a dozen others. “like i’ve never heard that before.”

“i know you haven’t,” Red gave him a sly, sulking look and rolled to his side, giving Sans his back, and yeah, he got the unspoken insult there. “you’ve never fucked anyone with my crushing wit.”

“mother goose ain’t exactly phd material and you might be crushing, but i’m the one pounding tonight.”

Sans hopped down from the chair and snagged the can, carrying it with him to the bed. He sat on the side of the mattress, trailing an idly finger down the intricate curves of Red’s spine. That was worth a faint sigh, exhaled through a jagged-tooth smile. Fondling the sensitive cartilage between each vertebra was better, Red arching into the touch with a hissed groan, undulating between that generously stroking hand and the stained sheets.

It added to the novelty of the occasion, could tack that sight right in with all the other scenery Sans never expected to see. Lovely bones, gleaming palely in the neon light creeping in through the slatted blinds covering the windows. The scars littering Red’s bones were predicable, but discovering the slimness of them beneath that ever-present jacket wasn’t, smaller even than Sans, all bulked up and hidden beneath heavy layers.

None of that made Red any less dangerous, but then, that was part of the fun, now wasn’t it.

His hand got lazy while Sans was taking in the sights and Red made a complaining sort of sound, rolling onto his back and stretching. The sheet, already doing a poor job at an attempt at modesty gave up even that, sliding completely loose. That left nothing covering Red but the remnants of come, still tacky yet, smearing as Red ran a pin-sharp fingertip up the inside of his femur. Sans watched, rapt, as red and blue mingled, sullied into purple.

“give me that.”

For a split second, Sans lurched obediently forward, ready to crawl between those femurs. Then he saw that wickedly sharp smirk curling up and noticed Red was reaching out towards the can that was starting to crumple in Sans’s too-tight grip.

It didn’t pay well to show Red any weakness and Sans swallowed down his flusterment, handing it over. Watched as Red tipped it back and swallowed down half the can in a single gulp. There was probably a pun to be made there, getting hit hard with a soft drink, but instead he only watched, tried not to think of what his eye lights were revealing as he stared at Red licking his teeth, the tips tinging to crimson as he nicked his own tongue against them.

“you gonna come down here or just enjoy the show?”

“i was about to leave,” Sans said, slowly. Like it wasn’t a lie and he wasn’t sitting here without even his shorts on. “paps will be wondering where i am.”

All the ambassadors were tucked away in their own five-star hotel, none of them suspecting their head of security and his second had skulked off, leaving them with the rest of the bodyguards. They were safe as houses, had to be or Red never would’ve been coaxed off, but Paps might come to his room, might ask for a bedtime story or just a chat.

“yeah, can’t let your little brother know you’re sneaking out to fuck around with me, now can you?” Poisonously sweet and okay, Red could, and did, get away with murder all the fucking time, but Sans wasn’t gonna let that slide.

“that how you want to play it?” Sans let a smirk of his own work its way loose. Like this lovely secrecy was for his benefit? “oh, miss mary, quite contrary, you want me to call him? i can give him the room number, see if he wants to stop in and verify. probably some paperwork that needs done, ain’t there, the bossman fucking his subordinate, bet he’d volunteer to help, he likes filling out forms.”

“you’d need form 109b, you’re the one who fucked me,” Red’s eye lights glittered with unnamed emotion. “hoping i’ll call you on that?”

“go ahead, if you think i’m joking, i could use a few chuckles."

“bet you could. i’m all about the jokes, but 3 am is a tough crowd.”

Sans ran his tongue along the even line of his teeth, considering. And then he went for blood. “we aren’t meeting up at roach motels to keep secrets from my brother. tell you what, wanna give the edgelord a call, instead? bet he and stretch are already done banging for the night, all curled up together for beddy-bye.”

“it’s 11am back in the states, i’m more likely to interrupt some meeting.” Oh, but there was blood in the water now, and fucking shark that he was, Red could smell it.

“great, then asgore can listen to our first ever porn podcast.”

Sans reached for his shorts and dug out his phone, humming as he pulled up Papyrus’s contact. “i don’t worry about my bro. let me give him a call, then you can call yours—”

His phone clattered to the floor as Red slapped it out of his hands. Sans kinda hoped it wasn’t broken, he wasn’t gonna have time to get a new one in the morning before all the meetings started and sitting there without candy crush to keep him entertained would be an endless nightmare.

“you gonna fuck me or not.” The words caught on a snarl, Red’s eye lights shading into a deep, harsher crimson, his mouth twisted into a grimace.

Sans hummed thoughtfully. “you gonna give me something to fuck?”

He did one better, rolling onto his front and forming ectoflesh from just beneath his ribcage to the tops of his femurs. The generously rounded globes of his ass were a bribe, but Sans wasn’t too proud to be cheap. He cupped them in both hands, firm flesh but with comfortable give.

But he wasn’t quite ready to be bought. “needed a nice cushion for some pushin?”

“you’re bitching at me for mother goose when you’re putting out that shit? fuck me, already, before i die of boredom—hnn!”

Seemed polite to wait until he was at the end of a sentence to push two fingers into his cunt. So slick inside, already practically dripping with want and Red whimpered as Sans worked to coax out a little more, pressed in another finger just to feel the hot stretch around his knuckles.

“huh. think i like your mouth better when you aren’t speaking,” Sans teased. He worked another finger in, all that slippery wetness making it easy. Yeah, much better like this, gasping and whining, mangling obscenities while Sans scissored his fingers inside him.

"yeah? think this is gonna shut me up?” Red managed to gasp, "gonna have to try harder than that, i could take your fucking fi—gah!!”

"what was that? seemed like you had something to say, sweetheart." Red gave it another try at the same moment Sans gave a little thrust with his fingers, letting them glide in and out, riding that silky wetness as Red’s curses tangled in between whines. In the interest of both their orgasms, it seemed best to reach up and push two fingers into his mouth, forcing him to suck on them and hoping Red didn’t take the opportunity to bite them off.

Instead, a moan vibrated through his phalanges, the slick little tongue between his fingers made him think of other places that mouth had been. Tight, hot little mouth almost as good as his tight little pussy and yeah, it was kinda vulgar to pull his fingers free, slip them still wet between Red's legs to rub his clit but the lovely little writhe he did excused it.

"oh,” Red groaned out, “that's…oh, fuck, you – yeah, just –"

Might be better if he took the continuing effort at speech as a compliment. Not difficult to do with the way Red was pushing back at him, wriggling and rolling his hips in a way that could never be taught, could only be known. He felt the sudden clench around his fingers as Red started to come and quickly pulled them out, left his cunt clenching on nothingness while he scooted back away.

Even as Red spat out curses in the ruins of his orgasm, Sans caught hold of his hips and dragged him up to his knees, hastily forming his cock. He rubbed it along the wet slit, but Red was squirming so much beneath him he slipped away on the first try.

“hold still!” Sans slapped one asscheek, and Red howled…and did it, spreading his knees wider to let him line up. Then he had to catch his own breath, that long, easy slide inside, surrounded by wet, clenching pussy. Easy, too easy to dig his fingers bruisingly into the giving ectoflesh of Red’s hips, lifting him to make the angle that much deeper. His rhythm was shitty and desperate, no finesse left to him. Sans could only drive in as hard as he could, his hips slapping against that generous, crimson backside.

Didn't matter, Red was along for the ride, both hands braced against the headboard and wood shavings curling around his razor fingertips as he dug them into the cheap particleboard. The room was a cacophony of conflicting sounds, flesh and bone striking, the bed frame creaking, and both of them breathing like they were about to dodge a blow. The sudden feeling of Red tightening around him in a sweet, constricting ripple made Sans gasp and listening to his choked, desperate cry as Red convulsed and came again was almost as good as coming himself.

Almost.

The air around them was thick with the scent of their sex, sourly spicy and nothing sweeter to soften it. Sans sagged down on top of Red, ignored his grunt as he let him take all of his weight, and breathed it in.

~~*~~

The sky was only graying with dawn when Sans woke up again. The bed was empty next to him, only the stained blankets and sheets to keep him company. Sans managed to crawl out of bed and headed towards the bathroom, gathering up his wrinkled t-shirt and shorts along the way.

Shitty as this little hotel managed to be, the mildewed shower still had plenty of hot water and Sans basked in it, scrubbing away the night before with the sliver of complimentary soap.

The cab ride would only take fifteen or so, but he still wouldn’t have time to get changed when he got back to the hotel where the ambassadors were staying. Paps would scold him for wearing the same thing as yesterday, loudly and with vigor, and groan at whatever puns Sans offered before slyly offering back one of his own.

But he wouldn’t say anything about Sans being gone all night in front of the others, those questions would only show in his worried glances, and soft, secret questions about whether Sans was being safe.

Damn shame Sans didn’t know the answer.

For now, it didn’t matter. Time to head back and play nice in front of the Ambassadors, and put on some sunglasses so no one could see if he fell asleep. Maybe tonight he could persuade Red out again and they’d give Humpty Dumpty a try or even Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater. Worth a shot.

He hummed as he stepped into his rumpled shorts and slipped on his t-shirt. If he hurried, he’d have time to grab coffee. Maybe this time he’d bring one for Red, too, the way he liked it for once, hot and bitter black.

Maybe. It wouldn’t hurt to be a little kind, just this once.

-finis-

[yamithediaperdork]

Yugi has two mommies

WARNING: the charters in this story at all 18 plus. this takes place in the Yu-Gi-Oh verse but after high school. Life after high-school.. for most it's all fun and games, and that should be true even more so for the king of games right? Well that's where your wrong. Take it from me, Yugi motto, the supposed King of games. I still defend my title and make money on the dueling circet but if you believe that i'm anything like i was before.. then again your wrong. After high school Joey and Tristen got jobs working for Duke, and live with him, still running dukes game shop while Anzu got a scholarship to go to collage. To cut down on the cost of living she moved in with Mai, and naturally, with me and Anzu dating at the time I moved in too. Mai gave me connections that helped me earn my share of the rent and I thought while i was off dueling on tours her and Anzu were just having girl talks. Little did I know.. About 2 months into the arrangement a weird thing started to happen. I started waking up wet in my bed! (If you wondering why I had my own bed, Anzu refused to go all the way. She wanted to save herself and me for marriage which I respected, though somehow saving herself involved me worshiping her pussy and sometimes..ick..asshole! Meanwhile she'd lightly play with my weenier and sometimes..uh.. let's not go into that.) Anyways, Having my own bed which was in Anzu's room.. and waking up wet repeatably she started to complain about the smell, and even when I was out of the bedroom her and Mai started to hold their noses around me! As if i still smelled like, well, you know. It was weird though, the only time I ever seemed to have a wetting accident at night was when I was home. In hindsight yeah I was a dumb ass. It was when I came back from a tour that I came into the room, and found that Anzu's bed was gone! While mine had been replaced with a toddlers bed! All of my decorations were in place on my half of the room and Anzu's half now had some boxes in it. The girls had followed me into my room and smiled at me as I turned around angery and demanded to know what was going on. I can still hear the tone of their voices, and I should of know then. "It's simple Yugi. Anzu here has been putting up with your pissy bed for weeks now and it's not fair to her. She's had to take a long shower before class or she smells like your piss." Mai started, Her tone stern and hands on her hips. "Yugi, I'm sleeping in Mai's room, just till we get this figured out." Anzu said, putting a hand on Mai's shoulder and smiling at me. Naturally her tone was softer. "You have to see this is for the best don't you? Unless your jealous Mai is gonna steal me away." Anzu teased and winked. I had blushed and huffed, then gestured to the bed. "Ohhh that.. well your mattress was ruined and the pee had soaked into the bed frame, ruining it too. We have had to toss it and then go bed shopping. And that was when well.." Anzu looked a little sheepish and turned to Mai who took over. "I spotted that bed. the mattress is specially made for potty training toddlers and has special covers that keep it from getting ruined. Plus the bed frame is metal. There's a pad under the bed to catch anything that slips off the side and well,really, you're still a lil shorty Yugi,." She said and ruffled my hair. That made me whine and mutter 'not that short' and the girls, they d'awwed. In the end I accepted the bed, it WAS good logic. Anzu had some weird odor blockers in the room with a familiar scent that I couldn't place at the time, but I'm VERY familiar with it now... Baby powder. Afterwards Anzu apologized to me. She said she should of warned me but didn't know how I'd react and for the rest of the day the girls semi spoiled me, Though it felt..I dunno.. Off. They weren't being mean and agreed with me, and even let me pick out what to watch. but normally when I picked the show I'd get a eye roll for watching things like lil duelers. It was a show meant to help young kids understand how to play duel monsters, Using the toon monster designs, but I happened to like it for some of the battles they played out (and the fact that the dark magician  was one of the biggest heroes on the show didn't hurt.) But today Anzu and Mai exchanged smiles when I put it on and asked if I wanted some juice or something and exchanged smiles when I asked for milk and cookies. The tour had been a hard one with lots of unscheduled matches taking place and I was a little worn out, or that's what i told myself then when after the milk and cookies I started to get sleepy. I yawning lots and Anzu sat next to me, encouraging me to cuddle into her. I did and yawned one last time, and I swear, was just going to rest my eyes. The next time I opened them it was 7:30ish in the am and I was in bed. I'd woken up from the noise coming from the kitchen and rubbed a eye, feeling a little sheepish then noticed a few things. 1) I'd been changed out of my normal clothes (even after high-school I liked the blue jeans and jacket look) and was in a pair of kuriboh Pj's, light purple in the back round with the lil guys all over, and not something i had owned before, as I'd been trying to sleep in just my undies to cut down on the wash. It also kinda looked like fuzzball, the side kick from the cartoon show. 2) There was a stuffie of the Darkie the dark magician from my cartoon show in my bed, and more to the point, in one of my arms, which as I realized I set down. 3) The bed was DRY and a bigggg smile crossed my face and I started to yell out that the bed was dry, and called for Anzu (gah, in hindsight how toddler does THAT sound?!) till I went to get out of bed and 4) Realized that there was something under my PJ bottoms, and it was kinda.. sagging and damp. It was just as I stood up and poked my crotch, that Anzu and Mai came in and smiled. "Wow you kept the bed dry? Good job Yugi!" Anzu coo'ed and came over to hug me then paused and sniffed. I hadn't noticed the slight pee smell in the air (Heck I was practically nose deaf to it) but now realized it was in the air. "Uh-oh..well at least you kept the bed dry." she said and then tugged down my bottoms, and there it was..I was in a.. "You..you put me in.. a ..a.." I stammered, unable to say it and looked at Anzu, tears welling up in my eyes and she instantly hugged me. "Yes Yugi, I put you in a diaper. I'm sorry. I should of mentioned this was part of the plan but you were soooo upset yesterday then conked out before we could mention it." Anzu said. I'm..I'm not proud of what I did next, but i think given the situation, not a damn person could blame me. I broke down and started to bawl. What happened next was Anzu tried to comfort me the best she could, while I sobbed that I wasn't a baby and she tried to tell me no I wasn't. But Mai finally had to clear her throat and tap her wrist, Anzu was gonna be late for class. She looked mad and I thought at the time it was because she wanted to stay and comfort me, but later on I found it it was because she had wanted to handle the removal of the diaper. But the condition of her scholarship made it clear she could only be late so often and she had to boogie as was, leaving me and Mai looking at each other. (Well, more her looking at me while I rubbed my eyes and tried to stop sobbing.) "Oh for Ra's sake Yugi, it's just a wet diaper. Your acting more like a baby then dressed like one." She scolded. "I..I'm..T-trying ta..S-Stop." I hiccuped and she rolled her eyes, then came over. putting a foot on the crotch of my pants that were on the floor she lifted me up and out of them and then held me in her arms, squishing my soggy diaper and I buried my face in her shoulder and whimpered. My one small relief was that the diaper was a plain white one, though even THAT died away as Mai carried me over to where a anther one of the pads for under my bed had been set up. by said pad was two stacks. One of little duelers undies that looked like there were meant for little kids (and sadly would likely still fit me) and the other pile.. was DIAPERS. "Please please don't put me in anther diapers!" I pleaded as she laid me down, bringing my hands together and she smiled and beeped my nose. "Don't be silly Yugi, the diapies (Gah really? such a babyish phase!) Are for beddy byes, you get big boy undies for during the day." she said and chuckled like she had set up for a punchline. "O-Okay.. Why..why did you guys.. g-get all this..little kid stuff.." I asked. Because now as I looked around the room, my decorations were still up, but they were joined by lots of lil duelers and the like stuff, and those boxes were gone. "Why? Heck Yugi, you LOVE that show so we thought it would be a treat for you. Plus you snuggled right up with Darkie.it was ADORABLE." Mai gushed. I whimpered at that and had put my arms up over my face but by then Mai got to the task at hand and untaped my diaper. Now..Only very few people had seen me naked till that point. My parents (Presumably) My grandfather, Joey and Anzu. All of whom who had been somewhat.. er.. Tactful. Mai on the other hand. "Oh my god it's TINY!" She giggled and then put a hand over her mouth as I started to sniffle again and glared at her, a hand reaching down to cover myself up. (Why I didn't just sit up or stop her in the first place...I don't know) "MAI! That's mean!" I huffed instead and She nodded. She was still laughing but covering her mouth and trying not to so that was SOMETHING. I guess. "I'm..I'm sorry just..Pffft.." "You know what, Maybe I should just go and take a shower and-" I huffed but Mai put a hand on my chest and I was powerless to get up. "Nottt possible." Mai said, drawing out the first word, then went on. "Me and Anzu both went for shower's this morning, no hot water left. You better let me clean you up." "I..I can do it myself." I insisted. "Yugi, I've SEEN your undies.I know how well you can wipe." Mai said with a snicker. well, if I thought i was red faced before. In the next few minutes I did as I was told, spread as I was told, rolled over, and was of course betrayed by own body with all the attention I was getting down there. "Uh-oh! Looks like lil Yugi switched to attack mode." Mai teased  and tossed the wipes, and the diaper into a small pail. "I think you can handle it from here? And uh, there are some tissues here if you wanna use those too." Mai smirked and got up, walking out of the room. Once she was out of the room the first thing I did was go over to my dresser and look for a pair of my boxers and of course, they were all gone. My clothes were still the same thankfully, save for my new sleepwear of course. I toyed with just wearing the jeans with no undies then recalled the last time I'd done that. My cock head had gotten soooo sore. Groaning i went back and grabbed a pair of the briefs and started to tug them up..and was dismayed when they more or less fit perfect. (It would of been a perfect fit if not for well, you know.) Grabbing out a shirt and jeans I headed out of the room and into the main living space,and there was Mai reading a paper and drinking some coffee. "Is there any left?" I asked. now normally I loath coffee, but at the moment I wanted to be as big and grown up as possible. "Aren't you worried it'll stunt your growth?" Mai joked then smiled as I glared. "Sorry, bad joke. There's a little bit left but I made a really strong pot Yugi. I don't think your little system can handle it, not with the lack of coffee experience anyways." She warned me. "I can so!" I huffed and getting my stepping stool, went to make myself a coffee. Ah the stepping stool. Seems whoever made these counters didn't want little kids to be able to hurt themselves and Mai admitted she'd had work done to raise them even more after a babysitting job almost turned bad. the end result? Yours truly had to get a white stepping stool to do anything on the counter top. "Yugi, all kidding aside I really don't think you should drink that, you could get a caffeine overdose and get sick to your tummy or even have a accident, and not the piddle kind." Mai warned. It was a good warning and I really should of listened, but pride can be a stupid thing. "I don't have daytime accidents. " I snapped and poured the last bit of sugar in my Blue eye white mug I never saw the smirk on Mai's face. Pouring the last bit of coffee in i got it to about 3/4's full and then got down and grabbed the milk out of the fridge, it was almost gone. "I have to head into work soon, since you'll have the day all to yourself you mind doing the shopping?" Mai asked me. Happy to be given a adult thing to do I nodded and poured the milk in and locked eyes with her as I drank it, and fought not to retch. "Oh wow, I stand corrected, Clearly you can handle your java." Mai smirked and finished her cup and put the paper down. "The list is on the fridge, if you need help with it PLEASE ask this time, I don't want you getting hurt again." Sheesh, you throw your back out carrying a couple of jugs of milk ONE time and your marked for life. Mai gave me a kiss on the forehead and took off for work, saying she'd call to check in on me. Naturally I was all was whatever and said bye. The coffee was working it's magic and I gave a little giggle and feeling FULL of energy I grabbed the shopping list and my wallet and out the door I went. You notice what I forgot to list though don't you? Thankfully the local supermarket knew me and so I didn't get the usual crap about skipping school (though they insisted I use one of the jr shopping carts..jerk butts) Zipping around the aisles and giggling a little loudly, and shaking a little, I heard more then one clerk mutter something about a sugar rush. Ignoring them I got the fruits and veggies that was on the list, some more milk, bread blah blah blah the boring stuff then came to the cookie aisle, and grinned from ear to ear. I had more then enough to go a little crazy and started to load the cart with the cookies when suddenly my tummy didn't feel right. I paused and rubbed it, and it made some funny noises and then suddenly I let out a HUGE fart that I swear they must of hear like, halfway around the world and turned crimson. I decided to play it safe and dashed for the cashier, Though I was letting out little follow up poots from my bottom and I SWEAR everyone was looking at me. Some smirked, some frowned And Maggie, the cashier, gave me a look of worry. "Sir, You can go ahead and use the washroom if you like, I'll ring this though." She offered. Maggie was in her 50's, and kind old lady, she let me get free cookies as a member of the cookie club even though technically I was too old. "I-It'll be OK." I said and flashed a smile, then my tummy hurt again and I hunched over. "Yugi dear I don't think it will be." She said and she came out from behind the till and was coming towards me when I felt anther fart brewing. "You you should stand back Maggie, I have to-" I let out a fart..that lets just say wasn't a fart and spare the awful details. In the aftermath I -might- of broken down bawling and sobbing, shaking like a leaf. Maggie tried to convince me to let her take me home or to call Mai but I just paid for the groceries and arranged delivery (thank god that was a option!) then dashed out. Some of the coffee was still helping me as I swear I was like the strike ninja I was running so fast, but still i got looks and saw people hold their noses. Thankfully I don't think anyone linked the king of games with the poopy pants bawler and I got in the building, running past one of the first floor neighbors who was coming out to walk her dog. Remember before when I aksed if you realized what I had forgotten to mention? Yeahhh I realized it too as I got to our apartment on the 3rd floor and went to grab the key, and couldn't find it. "No no no no no!" I sobbed and banged my fist on the door, letting out anther not fart and sinking to my knees. What I didn't know was the second I started to run out, Maggie god bless her interfering soul, had called Mai at the casino. Telling her what had happened Mai had rushed out of work, losing a days worth of pay to get back to the apartment asap. The rush of energy I'd felt was draining, and I was weakly resting my head on the door, whimpering no, my eye lids feeling so heavy. That's when I heard mai's voice. "Yugi!" I could tell from the tone that she had been angry at first but when I turned to her, with my tear stained cheeks and trembling bottom lip, she softened her tone and came over. "Shhh, it's OK. let's get you inside." She said gently. Mai ended up carrying me, hands under my armpit and holding me away from her, muttering something about being grateful we didn't have carpets and carried me right to the bathroom   then standing me in the tub and tilting my chin up. "Yugi, I need to try and wash most of this off of you, and I don't know how much of the hot water we have back. So it's likely gonna get cold alright?" She asked. "Why..why are you..your 'pose ta be at work." I mumbled. God I was just so sleepy! "I need you to stay awake for a little while longer and we'll talk later. Come on Yugi, what do the good guys say?" She asked, quoting lil duelers. "Never..never give up." I giggled, feeling a bit out of it. The shower head was detachable and she used it to direct the flow that started off luke warm then got cold fast, and soon I was shivering and and whimpered. "Almost done buddy." Mai coo'ed to me. "Your being such a good boy Yugi.. ok, pants coming down.. Yerahhh I know buddy that's cold.. here..work with me.. there you go.. out of the sneakers and pants...and then here go, out of the undies." Mai coo'ed walking me though everything then wrapping me up in a big fluffy towel and drying me off. She sat me on the potty , with the towel around my shoulders and it was a good thing she did, I had a few more not farts and tinkled..though I was shaking so much some of the tinkle went onto the floor. Mai came in and I pointed, my teeth were chattering too much to warn her or say sorry and she smiled. "It's ok buddy, you're sick." She said and then helped me wipe and scooped me up, bringing me into my room. "I think we're gonna stay away from the coffee from now on huh?" She asked and rubbed my back. I nodded and she smirked a lil. "I'm gonna assume that's a nod and not more shakes. I want you to take a nap Yugi, on the couch with me but I wanna get you er.. in protection with all of your-" "N-N-Not F-F-Farts." I whimpered and stuttered. "Heh..yeah not farts. If that OK?" I nodded and the last thing I honestly recall was her laying me down on the pad and reaching for a diaper. "What did you think was gonna happen! You should of refused or just had him make juice!" Anzu was growling. "Look I gave up a days pay to come back and-" Mai argued back. "And you never should of gone to work! Have you been keeping him drinking fluids!?" That was the argument I woke up to, sitting up on the couch and rubbing a eye and my mouth feeling super dry. "Whats all the noise about?" I whined, and Anzu and Mai both turned to me then to each other. "we'll talk about this later." was all Anzu said to Mai, Her voice stern then came over to me. Ok, so in hindsight.. a lot of you have likely figured out what happened. Mai spiked the sugar with laxative powder since I liked to make a morning cup of juice. Instead of making a pitcher I just make it per cup, I'm weird that way. She honestly hadn't planned on me drinking the coffee and the powder was suppose to take long enough that i would of been home when it kicked in.   The best laid plans or some crap like that. "Hey buddy, how are you feeling?" Anzu asked me and kissed my forehead. "Thirsty..and kinda icky in the tummy." I replied honestly. She nodded and looked to Mai, who went to the kitchen then she tugged back the blanket I'd been covered with and I blushed. I was in just a top and a diaper. a diaper what was clearly soaked, and judging from the smell.. "Mai, when was the last time you checked his diaper?" Anzu called and I whined, putting the pillow over my face. "uhhh about half a hour before you came home? Why did he have anther not fart?" "..Not fart?" Anzu asked and giggled. "Oh, it's what he call's that." "Ohhh I see.. Yeah. doesn't seem like a big one. " She called. "I'm RIGHT here you know." I huffed and Anzu blinked then looked sheepish. "ehehehe sorry, Looks like you had anther not fart Yugi, but it's OK, Your sick. Do you feel up to walking to your room with me or want me to carry you?" She asked. "I can walk!" I huffed and squirmed, getting my legs over the side of the couch and going to stand up. And then my legs, a bit weaker then I thought gave out on me and I landed with a squish. blushing and trying not to cry I just looked away from Anzu. How could she possible respect me, her boyfriend, when i was in a stinky diaper and couldn't even walk?! "Its ok Yugi." she cooed and kissed my cheek, scooped me up in her arms bridal style (thankfully!) and Mai followed her with a..BABY BOTTLE!? "I DON'T WANT THAT!" I yelled and pointed and Anzu signed. "Yugi,the baby bottle is because your dehydrated, that's why you feel so awful. But if we give you a cup you'll gulp everything down as fast as possible and give yourself tummy cramps. the nipple have only two holes in it to slow down how much you can drink so you won't get those cramps." She explained. whether or not that was a thing for real or not I couldn't say but as Anzu set me on the pad and Mai handed my the bottle, my thirst overwhelmed my humiliation and I poped it in my mouth. The girls were smiling big time as I suckled on the bottle, til Anzu scolded me a little. "your still drinking too fast. slower or your gonna get a gas bubble." "I don't think he's listening." Mai giggled and she was right, my thirst was overriding Anzu's advice now. "ooook, but don't blame me when I have to burp you after." I rolled my eyes at that, I was more then capable of belching all on my own. "Alright everyone, prepare yourself!" Anzu said ad untaped my diaper and GAH! I had thought it stunk before but this.. YUCK! (I'd find out later that those two were cheaters and had nose plugs in. jerk butts) Again I'll spare all the icky details, just that Anzu wiped me clean and again I er.. went into attack mode. "Heh, Sorry buddy. not while your sick." Was all Anzu said and had Mai get her a ice cube to make it go down to ensure that it wouldn't cause a problem. The stinky diaper went into the pail which now in hindsight was clearly a diaper pail but it really didn't click then. I was about halfway done with the bottle by that point and Anzu had a clean diaper under me, though I whined. "Your not better yet and this is just a precaution" She assured me as she was taping it up and then lifting my shirt up, and blowing a raspberry on my tummy. The evil witch knew I was SUPER ticklish and I was helpless to fight back and giggled like CRAZY, the bottle falling out of my mouth. "You know I think i saw a commercial for some little duelers diapers I think would fit Yugi." mai said while Anzu kept up her tickle torture. "We did go though a few more then expected today." she added "What do you think Yugi, want some cute diapies instead of boring white one? if you agree, giggling helplessly." Anzu said with a grin. I don't think i have to tell you what my response was. huffing and still semi giggling I relaxed in Anzu's arms, drinking from my bottle again as we went back out to the living room, though my chest started to feel a little funny the more I drank. Mai was talking to Anzu about whether or not she had any homework, then the phone rang and Mai was talking on it. Something about a chance to make up for the lost shift today as the feeling in my chest turn more and more owie and I fussed a little. Anzu smiled, not saying a word and I went from sitting in her lap my back to her front to being turned around and she patted my back before I could ask what she was doing I kinda sorta let out a super loud belch that got me a glare from Mai. "Sorry about that, Somebody hasn't learned to cover his mouth when he belches." She was saying. "Told ya that you'd get a gas bubble " Anzu giggled while I buried my face in her shoulder. "Hey, better the mouth then well." And she patted my tushie. "Anzuuuu!" I whined but then as she kept patting my tush it kinda felt.. nice.

[midgay-amusement]

SPOILER WARNING FOR SMILE FOR ME

Ok so i’m 13 Habiticians into the game, i unlocked the terrace, i tried getting the y’owl then said “fuck it, god hates me i’m going to bed” then

1. In my best Habit Voice, I’m like: “You make beddy time storees that can scare even the slightest almost adult and b like ‘cant help beeing a capricorn!”

2. If the other habiticians stay up past the bed time (like they’re always standing there even when u going beddy-bye, do they get those “hehe bedtime stories” too? I’m pretty sure Mirphy sleeps in the corner where she takes picture, but what about Tiff; she never goes back to her room where Flower Kid broke into with the power of the locket, she only stays IN THE LOUNGE!!! ARE THEY OKAY?! =00000

3. I feel like it’d be funny if the bedtime story videos were just “Go the Fuck to Sleep by Adam Mansbach” but with the same imagery we already get from the spooky videos (even tho the book didnt exist back then)

4. its funny how habit is trying to make people “happy”, and when he see flower kid doing what he said was his task, he gets pissed off.

5. I was thinking about it and the spoiler tag (since i know some of you dont tag ur spoilers), should be called “Spoil for me”

[nickiplague]

Truth Inconceivable - Sleepovers Used to be Fun ch. 4

The bathroom was massive with ten toilet stalls across from eight sinks and beyond those was a large area with open showers. The guys beelined for the stalls and so did I, I had enough sense to realize there would certainly be a wait and since we were in one of the closest rooms me and my roommates grabbed stalls first. I heard some guys chuckling and thanking Eric for speaking up about the bathrooms. “It was nothing guys, I just didn't want to chance Jordan having an accident because of Chip’s ‘forgetfulness’ and get punished again.” What the heck did that mean?

I quickly finished my business and went to wash up. A short asian looking guy walked up to me. “Dude, don’t hurry so much, we get a good forty or so minutes to hang in here then it’s beddy bye for nine whole hours from eight to five. Such a long time...” He leaned over me, I’m pretty sure this was the guy who was making out at dinner. He may have been short compared to others, but he was still taller than me… I really need to hit a growth spurt… “How old are you anyway? You look a little young to be here with the big boys…” He started to wrap an arm around me, but one of my roommates pulled the asian guy away from me.

“Cut the crap Yao. You may be able to creep on your roommates, but leave mine alone. We don't need you scarring kids minds.” My roommate, who I’m pretty sure his name was Joey, led me away and over to my other roommates one with longer hair than the other. They were the two kids who were stealing food from Eric at dinner.

Joey waved as we walked up to them talking, “Man, I almost feel bad for swiping from Eric now…” The one with longer hair snickered. “Nah Sonny, we are helping with his weightloss remember? We snatch a little of his food and sometimes even make him chase us a bit and he’ll lose weight for sure!” Miguel, apparently, clapped Sonny on the back laughing like a mad man. They noticed us walking up to them, “Hey Joey, wassup?!” They said it in unison and that’s when I noticed something.

“Hey! Are you guys twins?” They didn't look exactly alike, Miguel had thicker arms and Sonny had a bit of scruff, but they were both hispanic guys of the same height and had the exact same grey eyes and pitch black hair. They put their arms around each others shoulders laughing.

“We get that alot, but no, we’re only cousins! Grew up together though! Sonny is older than me by thirteen hours!” Miguel doubled over laughing. “We did almost everything together! From riding our bikes without training wheels to fishing and even setting our first fires!” Sonny was laughing around his words, but their joy didn't distract me from what he said though.

I took a step or two back, “Er… wait a minute… did you say setting fires?” As they nodded enthusiastically I took another step back, but Joey pulled me back over.

“Dude, yeah they are total pyromaniacs, but we’re fine here. If you saw them on the street I’d say run the other way, but in here? Nah! They are like my sweet little brothers who are totally fucking nuts.” Joey hugged them while laughing. It seemed almost everybody had had their turn with the toilets and were just milling around at this point and that’s when Chip stuck his head in.

“Alright boys, time is up! Get out and get in line!” Wow… time flies… we all went and lined up outside of our rooms as Chip went unlocking doors, letting people in, and locking them in. I knew this was going to happen, but as I saw people walk in I started breathing faster.

This was real. I am really being locked up. I couldn't find my sister in this place if I wanted to and if I wanted out I needed permission. I am no longer a free man… well free boy. We have only just turned thirteen, we’re barely teenagers. Oh God… ohmygod… I was so wrapped up in my spiraling thoughts that I didn't notice Chip had reached us and was waiting for me to go in the room, I was staring at the ground with my hands over my face hyperventilating and starting to cry. “I wanna go home…” It just slipped out of me. This whole time I was trying to put up a front for Mabel and act strong for her, but now that she wasn't here my own fear was rushing over me, overwhelming me.

Chip grabbed my shoulder and whispered, “Everyone wants something kid, it’s time you learned that you can't always get what you want.” With those parting words for the night he shoved me into the room. I tripped over my feet and would have fallen if not for Joey. He caught me and helped me over to a free bed.

“Hey man, just breathe, slow down and breathe. It’s scary your first time I get it, I do. However they don't care and you'll just be hurting yourself if you let it get to you.” I was vaguely aware of Miguel and Sonny whispering somewhere close by, but couldn't see them anywhere. My vision was swirling and the fluorescent lights overhead were blinding me.

“Hey Dipper dude you are super lucky you got in here, Joey is like a big brother to us, he’s only a year older than we are, but he’s a lot more sane. I tell you, he knows all about the places your mind can take you. It’s the reason he’s here, because he tried to-”  Sonny slapped a hand over Miguel’s mouth. “Cuz, respect Joey’s privacy. It is his decision who knows what, not the decision of your blabbermouth. Sorry, Joey you know he means well.” Sonny dragged Miguel away.

After calming down a bit I moaned out, “Can someone cut the lights? My head is killing me…” I looked around trying to spot the switch and noticed Joey shaking his head.

“Another thing they control, sorry man it should be cut any mi-” at that moment we were plunged into darkness. “Like I was saying. Dude are you good for now? I don't know about you, but I'm beat. It's a lot of work being around us crazies.” He was laughing, but all I could think about was how I was actually one of the crazies now…

“Y… yeah I’m good thanks for helping me out…” hearing him walk away I almost wanted to call him back. I was still scared, I had only just calmed my breathing down. I laid there in bed staring at the place the ceiling should be and thinking of where I was just this morning. Me and Mabel left Gravity Falls. We should have stayed, asked for a transfer to school there, maybe we could have hidden in the mountains with multibear…

My eyes closed against the darkness and noticed no difference. “...hope Mabel… is okay…” I mumbled to myself while trying to fall asleep. The world began to drift and I drifted with it.

Okay! Well, I hope you like this chapter! Please leave me a review and tell me what you think!

[cardsvistas]

Understanding The Background Of Vanilla Gift Card Venmo | vanilla gift card venmo

Today: a abecedary who makes $31,000 per year and spends some of her money this anniversary on a Perfect bar.

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Occupation: TeacherIndustry: EducationAge: 23Location: Buffalo, NYSalary: $31,000Paycheck Bulk (Biweekly): $951Additional Income: I additionally waitress on the ancillary and accomplish $300-$400 per month. (This includes tips…I get about $30 per analysis afore tips.)

Monthly ExpensesRent: $790, breach bottomward the average with my boyfriend, C.Student Loan Payment: $100 (I owe $27,000 total.)Netflix: $15 (My sister SOMETIMES remembers to pay me for the added half.)Credit Cards: $300 (I owe about $2,500 in acclaim agenda debt that I am aggressively aggravating to pay off.)Gym Membership: $22Utilities: Never added than $100 a month. C. takes affliction of utilities and afresh deducts my bisected from the hire he owes me.Savings: $20 every Monday into my accumulation account. Small, I know, but that’s what happens aback you accomplish a baby salary!

Day One

6:55 a.m. — I deathwatch up. I am SUPER LATE. I’ve had this bad addiction afresh of aggravating to get every minute of beddy-bye I can. My acceptance are absolutely backbreaking me lately. I adulation them, but average schoolers are adamantine work. I grab my breakfast and cafeteria and jet out the door.

7:35 a.m. — I get to academy on time somehow! I appetite to accommodated with my arch to altercate a fundraiser he wants the club I admonish to run. But abominably he’s action on a acreage trip, so I don’t get to accommodated with him. I calefaction up the breakfast I brought from home and delay for my kiddos to arrive.

11 a.m. — Cafeteria is provided for us today! I about consistently accompany my own lunch, as I am aggravating to save money. I eat the egg-salad sandwich I brought (hey, I adulation it) and grab some of the amazon soup we accept in the teacher’s lounge. Center through the day, I feel a absolutely bad algid advancing on. I accede calling in ailing tomorrow but anticipate about how I accept a club affair during my cafeteria tomorrow…

3 p.m. — School’s out! I accept a basketball bold to drillmaster today, so I charge some caffeine. I go to Starbucks and buy a bifold attempt on ice. I bushing my Starbucks app for $10 and afresh beat through to Whole Foods to get a Perfect Bar. They’re on sale, two for $4, so I grab accession to bandy in the fridge aback I get home. $14

5 p.m. — I leave the basketball bold and arch to my additional job. I waitress on Tuesdays and Fridays and sometimes aces up accouterment on Saturdays as well. I do this alternating with apprenticeship basketball, actuality a club adviser, and acting as a parent-teacher liaison. Here’s to acquisitive I accomplish some money!!

10 p.m. — Assuredly out!!! I arch home, grab some gas on the way so I won’t accept to do it in the morning. I get home, booty a shower, and accord C. a kiss accost and goodnight. Tuesdays fetor for us because we don’t see anniversary added at all. I apprehend on my Kindle and afresh abatement asleep. $10

Daily Total: $24

Day Two

6:30 a.m. — I deathwatch up and feel TERRIBLE. I accept hella all-overs alike cerebration about calling in sick, but I apperceive if I don’t I will feel alike worse this weekend. I don’t appetite that to happen, because C.’s sister is visiting from L.A. and we’ll be spending time with her! I argument our academy secretary and acquaint her I’m ill. I affiance her an algid cappuccino tomorrow aback I appear back.

10 a.m. — I’m aloof lounging about the house. I still feel appealing crappy, but the added beddy-bye helps a lot. I accomplish myself some breakfast. Toast with avocado and eggs and accession allotment with peanut adulate and banana. I am OBSESSED with peanut butter. C. gets mad because I buy altered flavors all the time and we currently accept ten jars.

12 p.m. — I annal through Amazon, but I don’t buy annihilation because I accept a $125 allowance agenda advancing my way from acclaim agenda rewards points. I’m aggravating to cut bottomward on plastic, so I put some reusable sandwich baggies in my cart.

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5 p.m. — C. gets home!! We babble about his day and accomplish dinner. He plays rugby and eats A LOT, so our bistro schedules don’t usually match. I accomplish an egg-white omelet with veggies, and C. makes a lot of craven and veggies. We booty turns switching amid me watching Netflix and him arena on his PS4. We accept a Fire Stick in the bedroom, but I don’t feel like lying in bed.

10 p.m. — I annal through LikeToKnowIt. I adulation all the outfits. I haven’t bought clothes with my own money (thank you, allowance cards!) aback afore Christmas, so I appetite to amusement myself eventually. I do this until I canyon out.

Daily Total: $0

Day Three

6:30 a.m. — I deathwatch up at 6:30. But. I. Can’t. Get. Up. I breach snuggled up until my additional anxiety goes off at 6:45. I blitz cafeteria and breakfast together. I’ve absolutely got to alpha accomplishing this afore I go to bed.

7 a.m. — I stop by Tim Horton’s to get our secretary her promised algid capp, and I grab an algid coffee for myself as well. Yesterday I didn’t absorb any money, so I’m all appropriate with battery out the six bucks. $6

11 a.m. — I eat my collection of Trader Joe’s mac ‘n’ cheese, broiled veggies, and a boilerplate yogurt. I accept accession basketball bold afterwards tonight, and I apperceive I’m action to accept to grab a bite about afterwards school. I analysis my coffer account, and my freeholder STILL hasn’t taken my hire analysis out. This happens a lot, and it’s appealing annoying because I accept to mentally bulk out how abundant I accept in my checking. I apprehension I accept a little money to additional afterwards payday this week, so I accomplish a brainy agenda to pay a little added against my apprentice loans. They aren’t as abundant as what some bodies I apperceive have, but the absorption adds up.

3 p.m. — I arch to basketball. It’s demanding apprenticeship alike for average school. We lose in overtime. I accomplish a big accent at the end because a few girls fabricated faces on the cloister aback I told them what to do, and it drives me NUTS. Now I apperceive why my mom acclimated to get so mad.

5 p.m. — I adjudge to run and grab a few advantage afore I arch home. I arch to my admired abode on earth, Trader Joe’s!!!! I get about all of my advantage from Trader Joe’s. I adjudge to grab the arctic lamb tandoori to eat for banquet tonight. I absorb a little beneath $70. I additionally run to Target because they advertise the yogurt I like. Of advance I get ice cream, ChapStick, and a few added things. That comes to a little beneath $30. $97.29

8 p.m. — I absolutely should be action to the gym, but I can’t accumulate my eyes accessible at all. C. is a bad access and tells me to aloof breach home and rest. He active to rugby, and I catnap off and don’t alike apprehend him appear home.

Daily Total: $103.29

Day Four

6:45 a.m. — I deathwatch up a little afterwards than usual, but I feel abundant because I got a abounding night’s rest. I get dressed bound and bandy a cafeteria together. I backpack my waitressing clothes because I accept to assignment tonight. Bifold payday today!

7:15 a.m. — I grab coffee for two coworkers and myself. We accept formed a absolutely tight-knit accumulation in the accomplished year and a half, and I like assuming my acknowledgment for them whenever I can. Our job is difficult, and not anybody understands the accent agents experience. We accept a accumulation babble area we accelerate common memes and complaints and allocution all day. $6.23

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10 a.m. — Is this day over?! My kids are absolutely testing me today. We’re watching a cine about abolitionists, and it’s absolutely absolutely good, but they WON’T STOP TALKING. It drives me nuts.

12 p.m. — Okay, while my kids are watching the abutting documentary about Jesse Owens, I cave. I absorb $87.52 at Gap online — two shirts, a brace of “sculpt” jeans, and a brace of absolutely beautiful dress pants. I additionally arch over to Nordstrom Rack online, area I get a brace of pants and a brace of over-the-knee boots. This equals out to $142.70. I don’t feel bad because I am disturbing through my closet this anniversary accepting rid of annihilation I don’t wear. $230

3 p.m. — School’s out!! Alone one added anniversary until February break! I’m action home to appointment my parents for bristles days, and I can’t wait. I alive bristles hours abroad now, and I absence them a lot. I get accessible to arch to the gym afore my waitressing gig.

4:30 p.m. — I’m starving! I get to assignment and anon adjustment a craven sandwich. Luckily, we don’t accept to pay for our commons here. For a little while we did, and it sucked. I would absorb allotment of my tips advantageous for my meal. I bandage it bottomward and get accessible to serve. It can be accidental here, so I never apperceive what I’ll make.

10 p.m. — Woo! Fabricated about 100 bucks tonight! This is great, because I try to absorb my tips afore I blow my debit card. This will buy and apparently awning all of our advantage abutting week, so I’m excited. Waitressing afterwards teaching all anniversary is exhausting, so I anon blast afterwards accepting home. I grab $10 account of gas on my way. $10

Daily Total: $246.23

Day Bristles

10 a.m. — I booty time to pay my acclaim agenda payments. I set abreast $300 per ages to pay off my cards. I accept three. It was a aberration to accessible up so many, but oh well. I’m demography albatross for it now. I accept one about paid off. Once that’s done, I’ll aggressively pay off the added two!

11 a.m. — We accept a continued day advanced of us, but I hit the gym first. WOW — I am sore. My acquaintance is a claimed trainer, and anniversary ages he creates a conditioning for me for the month. It’s awesome! I grab a baptize canteen on my way in. $2

4 p.m. — We accommodated C.’s parents and his sister for dinner. We absorb every weekend with them! It’s abundant because they’re so nice and additionally let us do our laundry at their house. We get Italian aliment and C.’s dad affably pays.

8 p.m. — We adhere out at C.’s parents’, and his sister rents Bohemian Rhapsody. It’s so good!! We adhere out for a few hours afore we arch home and get to bed.

Daily Total: $2

Day Six

10 a.m. — C. and I arch to our admired café/coffee roastery. It’s in an old burial home, and it’s Day of the Dead–themed. We adulation it! I appetite to accompany their mug club, but it’s $100 a year and I can’t absolve that aloof yet. I get a turkey sausage, egg, and cheese sandwich on a whole-wheat bagel. C. gets this antic sandwich with mac ‘n’ cheese, BBQ chicken, cheese, and Triscuits. He says it’s delicious, and honestly, it does attending appealing great.

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4 p.m. — We’ve been lounging allllllll day. I hop on Netflix and watch Tidying Up with Marie Kondo. I use our additional bedchamber as my closet and absolutely charge to get rid of things and adapt added effectively.

7 p.m. — I am about absolutely done charwoman my room. Whew. That was a lot. I put some clothes abreast to accelerate to my friend. I additionally column some on Poshmark and achievement that I can accomplish some money that way.

10 p.m. — Okay, I’m shot. I get into bed and delay for sleep.

Daily Total: $0

Day Seven

6:30 a.m. — Ughhhhhhhh. Mondays. They are rough. I run out the aperture and stop and grab a coffee. I am absolutely aggravating to cut aback on my spending, I swear. $2

8 a.m. — It’s alone 8, and I’ve already yelled at my kids. They are so beggarly to anniversary added that it hurts my soul. All I appetite to do is advise them to be affectionate animal beings, but they are absolutely disturbing with that.

11 a.m. — Cafeteria time…halfway through the day. I can do it! I accept basketball afresh today appropriate afterwards school, so I’m counting the hours until I can go home and sit down. I adulation actuality a teacher, but man, it makes me tired.

3 p.m. — As we arch to our game, I see a Venmo appeal for a wine bout we did with accompany a few months ago! Apparently, my acquaintance forgot aloof like I did. I accelerate her the money for it. I additionally stop and get $20 in gas aback somehow I’m on abandoned again. Amid active aback and alternating to assignment every day, basketball two to three times a week, and the gym four times a week, my car is sucking up the gas. I absolutely should ample it up, but it’s freezing! So I ample it up halfway. $95

5 p.m. — I get home and see my acclaim agenda rewards accept appear in the mail! I accept $125 for Amazon and $50 for Starbucks. This is amazing, because I absorb money at these two places the most!

7 p.m. — I accomplish banquet for us — Buffalo craven with broccoli and candied potatoes! We bandage it down. C. goes to rugby convenance and I put on Lady Bird.

11 p.m. — I assuredly clamber into bed. This anniversary has been a continued one, and I alone accept four added canicule until February break. I can’t wait!

Daily Total: $97

Money Affidavit are meant to reflect alone women’s adventures and do not necessarily reflect Refinery29’s point of view. Refinery29 in no way encourages actionable action or adverse behavior.

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