#okay my brother used to live next to this in a dingy apartment for less than 400 a month in 2015

[aisling-saoirse]

Manhattan from Hamilton Park, NJ - August 16th 2015

[starshipsofstarlord]

Goodbye My Lover | Part Two

Summary; Richie left after saving the end of the world, believing that you were dead. However, he begins to think that he was wrong, and that you were indeed alive, and survived the gruesomeness.

Warnings; mentions of death, murder, smut, angst

A loose cannon. He could have dealt with that, but instead, the criminal was left with nothing to live for. Richie was broken once more, a record that simply couldn’t play.

Sleep never came easy to him, he saw things, such as your limp body, that had been struck by led. There had been so much blood, it fell mercilessly from your wounds.

The one chance he had of saving you was gone, he should have taken the chance and done it right away. However, there was no body to try and mend any more, every piece of you had vanished.

“Is he okay?” Kate knew there was little point in asking the eldest Gecko brother that question, however she did anyways. It made her feel less guilty, after all, Amaru had been using her body as a prop.

Seth looked at the girl, sorrow written on his features. It pained him to know that you had taken the bullet meant for him. You were his friend, and perhaps the only person that could ever get through to his younger sibling.

But you were gone, or so they thought. And as they threw the bags in the trunk, Richie silently got in the passenger seat, slamming the door behind him. There was no peace in his state, the lack of slumber sure didn’t help.

But there was nothing that could be done to medicate him for your loss. All he felt was a massive wrench in his heart, crushing it until it was nothing more than dust.

Love was one thing that he always had difficulty with, but with you, the routine and emotions all came so easily. Your smile had him feeling light headed every time that he saw it, but instead m, his last image of you had been the cold and literally dead expression that blurred your most beautiful features.

“Kid, you know as well as I do, he may have saved practically everything that day, apart from her. And y/n was everything to him.” He shut the boot, watching the sad expression roll onto Kate’s face.

He patted her shoulder as he seated himself in the driver’s seat. They had just finished a heist and the only question was “where to?”

“Motel.” Richie answered, forgoing the option of a bar. The women there were only distractions, and so was the alcohol, and he didn’t desire any of them. All he wanted was to curl up on one of the dingy beds, and take pity on himself.

And once they had reached their destination, that was exactly what he had done. And for the first time in months, he had gotten a good nights rest.

That was until a bang collided with the wall, separating their room and the one next to it. A wail broke through, causing Richie to frown at the pitch. But before he had the chance to speak to his brother, Seth had already grabbed a gun, and was heading next door, demanding that Kate remain in the room.

Richie followed after him, the eldest of the two kicking in the neighbouring door, only to find a culebra holding a man against the wall.

“Let him go.” Her hand was around his neck, and as she looked at Seth, her yellow eyes bore into him, as though she were considering drinking his soul.

But instead, she firmed her grip, snapping his neck, leaving the body to tumble to the ground by her feet. The culebra hissed at the intrusion, but Richie tilted his head. There was something oddly familiar about this one, and he had almost figured it out for himself, until she revealed her identity.

Whilst her face still remained monstrous, a chuckle slithered its way out of her mouth. “Is that any way to speak to someone who took a bullet for you Seth?”

Seth’s eyes widened as he slowly lowered his gun. It was you, and as your scales faded, a smirk took place on your face.

“You’re a culebra?” Richie asked, rushing forward to embrace you, but you held your hand out, not allowing the man of your kind any closer.

“Am now. And I like it. So if you’re going to try and stop me from feeding, I’ll kill you too.” This wasn’t you, or at least not the version that he knew. The change had really changed you, the idea as a human, feeding off of your own kind was sickening to you.

But it appeared, that your appetite had changed with you. “How are you like this?”

“I already had your venom in me, so if you don’t mind.” You tried to leave, but the youngest of the two brothers held your arm, stopping you from abandoning them once more.

“Tell me everything.”

“Richie.” It was the end of the world and there was no better way to go out of it, other than a bang. And you and your partner had taken that in quite a literal sense.

As the pair of you were on look out, waiting for Amaru, you were straddled on top of him in the confines of the car, riding him. Your hands pawed at his shoulders, as you gasped.

He thrust up, hissing slightly at the angle. “Cum in me Rich.” He furrowed his brow as he gaped his mouth open, his head hitting the headrest of the seat.

And so he complied with your begging, filling you with his cum. You bit your lip, as his hands traced shapes on your back. He leant forward to kiss you, and he lightly bit your tongue.

But you frowned, watching as a little blood spilled from your mouth. “I’m sorry.” He frowned at his own actions. He was supposed to be careful with you, you were only human, and he was something more.

“It’s okay, just a little blood. I’ve been through worse.” You dismissed it, sighing as you dismounted him and went back to your duty.

“I didn’t know.” He registered what you had claimed to have happened, however you seemed unphased by the story that you had just told him.

“Of course you didn’t.” You sighed, and as he was distracted, you kicked him, and shoved him through the wall, which was his room. Kate glance through the hole, and a look of shock crossed over her face as she saw you.

Seth raised his gun, but you could only tut at him. “I take a bullet for you and you threaten to put one through me. How ironic.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Then don’t.” You rolled your eyes, steadily walking backwards. “I just want to go out into the night and disappear, there’s no need to kill me.”

“You’re a culebra, an out of control one.” His perception was not wrong, but you raised your hands, and loosened your shoulders as you stood there.

“And?” You asked, smiling at the tanned man. “If you want to kill my kind, go for your brother, he’s an easier target.” He was out cold, all thanks to you.

“You’re throwing him under the bus, just like that?” He asked, unable to comprehend this new mindset of yours.

“Just like that.” You responded, taking a break between each syllable. Seth hesitated as he watched you, and as his aim lessened, you bolted, vanishing from his eyes.

Richie would not be happy once he woke up, but that wasn’t your problem. And as you ran, the only thing on your mind was finding dinner and not being disturbed whilst doing so.

[writtenonreceipts]

In all honesty, Runaways was supposed to be a single one-shot.  And here we are.  Not sure how I feel about this one. Oh well…Takes place amid the main events of this fic and in conjunction with this fic.  Based on characters from the Throne of Glass series.

TW: None, mentions of addictions, death.

they are the runaways. before they set out on a trip to take aelin back to her family, rowan and aelin grow together in their past lives of addiction.  slowly, ever slowly.

a sinner in the sun

They have a hesitant friendship that has been established by phone calls that stretch all night long, phone calls that consist of panic attacks, and phone calls that consist of nothing at all.  Sometimes they say nothing.  Sometimes they say everything.

Because oddly enough, he has turned into someone that she depends on.  Too much, apparently, but she doesn’t realize that.  Not yet.

Aelin hates talking on the phone.  With a passion.  But texting is just as horrible because sometimes her words come too fast and her fingers can’t keep up and autocorrect is the literally devil incarnate.  Everything becomes a jumbled mess that is nearly untranslatable.  Just like everything about her.  So she calls instead.  

“I need your help,” she says one day into her phone.

It’s too early in the morning for hellos.  The sun is barely breaking through the clouds and the pale pink haze of morning stains her dingy old apartment.  Any other day she would curl up with a book.  Or she’d go out for a run.  Something to distract her from her mind, but today she has to be an adult.

Rowan is immediately at attention on the other side.  “What is it? What’s wrong?”

Aelin pauses.  She realizes then that this is the first time she has called him while not in crisis mode.  Today, she is okay.  She is happy. She wants to be alive.

“Nothing,” she says as she realizes the mistake of the call.  One hand immediately tangles in her hair and she cringes.  “It’s nothing.  Really.  Never mind. I shouldn’t have called.”

“It’s obviously something if you called,” he replies.  “You hate the phone.”

She can hear the smirk. “Buzzard.”

“What do you need?”

“I found a new apartment and I need some help moving.” She forces it all out in a single breath and waits.

“I’ll be right there.”

#

He brings reinforcements.

Fenrys is too happy for life.  Dark skin, gold hair, and a rakish smile.  He bounces around her apartment telling her to steal what she wants from her old roommate who isn’t there.  He cracks some joke about her calling Rowan buzzard.  He smiles because he wants to.

Lorcan is the exact opposite.  Black hair, black eyes, and a scowl to rival Rowans.  He grabs what’s been boxed and labeled dutifully.  He says nothing about anything.  Aelin can feel the sorrow oozing off of him.  The tiredness, the angst.  He firmly believes he deserves his misery.

All Aelin can gather about how they know each other is from years ago when they were children and had started their own gang.  A gang that involved eating sandwiches and playing squirt guns, but a gang nonetheless.

Aelin realizes that this is just the start of Rowans family.  And it is strange she realizes.  Strange to see the three men, like brothers, laughing and joking.  It is strange to realize that Rowan has a past, a history. Because as much as he has talked about it before, it’s just now coming to life before her.  In the form family.  And that’s a language she never learned to speak.

“You have too many books,” Lorcan tells her as he stares at the boxes she has accumulated.

“Impossible,” she scoffs.

Lorcan makes no reply and begins hauling them out of the apartment.  It’s unfortunate really, seeing as how she lives on the third floor and it is getting close to reaching a hundred degrees outside.  She’s going to have to buy them all coffee and pizza after this.

When Rowan slips back into the apartment, he’s shaking out his hair that is distinctly shorter than the last time she saw him.  Less scruff on his chin too.  Which is nice because his face is far to lovely to be hidden like that.

Aelin realizes where her thoughts are going and distinctly turns away from him to stuff a drawer full of silverware into a box.  It all clatters together unceremoniously.  It’ll be a bitch to put away when she gets to her new place but she needs the distraction.  For now and for later.  Because now she can feel his eyes on her.  Those beautiful eyes that remind her of the forest and of running and of being free and she can’t take it.  Not now. Not after the other night when they’d talked for so long.  And later…when she’s alone with her thoughts all she’ll want to think about is him.  

“You’re going to regret that later,” Rowan says, eyes still on her.

“Probably,” she says and shrugs.  “I’ve come to live with my regrets.  By running away from them, burying them.”

He raises an eyebrow and amusement laces his voice.  “I don’t think it’s supposed to work that way.”

“Does for me.” She gives him a wicked grin and this one doesn’t feel forced.  Instead it’s almost lighthearted.  It’s followed by a small burst of laughter and it is glorious.

#

Hours later they’ve cleared out her old apartment and the boys have helped her move everything inside. They’re just bringing up the last of the boxes and Aelin’s ordered pizza and Chinese food.  Anything and everything she can think of so they know she’s grateful.  Because just saying it isn’t something she can do.  Not yet.

And hours later still, it’s just her and Rowan.

The studio apartment is impossibly small.  It’s got at least ten different fire hazards.  The hot water doesn’t work.  And the lock of the front door is dodgy at best.  But it’s hers.

She and Rowan are sitting on her floor staring at the unjust screen of his laptop trying to watch a show but Aelin won’t stop laughing at the paltry accents being used.  Because apparently hiring real actors from the country they were filming in was too much work.  So instead she laughs and Rowan is ready to smother her.

But he doesn’t. Instead he’s grinning stupidly at her as she laughs.  The sunset drifts through one of her windows casting long shadows around the room. She doesn’t notice the way his eyes ling on her.  Not really. She doesn’t notice the way they’ve been sitting so close together.  Not really.

What she is focused on is the fact that she doesn’t want the moment to end.  Because if the moment end, if the laptop goes away then she has to either let Rowan go for the night or do something about it.  And doing something about it… well…that would require change.

And the last time something in Aelin’s life changed she spiraled down deep than Alice’s Wonderland hole.

She tries not to notice him despite the fact that he is all she can think about.

“What?” Rowan asks.

Blinking, Aelin realizes she was staring.  Of course she was because with the way the computer screen lights up his face and the setting sun in the windows behind him—he is illuminated.  Suddenly she feels like she’s seeing him for the first time. Because today she learned about him.

She learned he’s always had a thing for hawks.  Loved reading about them as a kind and learning all there was to know.  He calls Fenrys “Pup” and treats him like a younger brother and damn Rowan would make a good brother to anyone.  Lorcan teases him about being old even though Lorcan himself is older than all of them.  Rowan hadn’t spoken to his friends in over a year.

And in secret—silent and careful—Fenrys thanked her for staying with him.  For being with him when they weren’t.

And that simple sentiment terrifies her.  Because she is rarely there for anyone.  Not sense the damn summer days of daisies and dirt bikes.

“Aelin?” Rowan repeats. His brow creases in worry and she finds herself swallowing stiffly as one hands reaches for something…something that isn’t there.

“Nothing,” she says and stands.  “Water?”

She doesn’t have alcohol in the kitchen.  Not since Rowan told her about Lyria not since she learned about how he fell all those years ago.

Instead of waiting for him to ask, she gets a prepackaged water bottle for him.  After tossing it his direction she digs around in the back of a cupboard she made sure to unpack herself.  She grabs the bag of taffy and immediately stuffs one in her mouth.  

Supposedly when she has an urge she can distract her body by eating something else.  But she thinks that only works with smoking.  Not anything she really wants.  But she can try.  She can pretend.

When she settles back beside him on the floor his eyes are on her.  And not like they were before.

“Aelin,” he says slowly.

He hasn’t touched his water. She eats more taffy.

It’s what she does. The distraction.  She doesn’t want to think about anything.  Doesn’t want to think about before with the dirt bike and Sam. Not the scars.  Not where she fell.  She doesn’t want to be that person.  Not after seeing who Rowan is and what he’s become.  Because today she learned that she doesn’t deserve him.

How could she?

He reaches a hand out and rests it on hers where she’s trying to dig out another piece of taffy. There are callouses on his fingers and she can’t help but shiver at the touch.  Can help but shiver at that gentle touch of his.  Because hell—how long has it been since someone touched her so carefully?

“Aelin?” he repeats. Slow.  Pity.  No.  No, Rowan doesn’t pity her.  She knows that much about him.  He wouldn’t pity her for this.

“It’s nothing,” she finds herself whispering.  Shaking her head, shea drags her fingers through her hair.  “Sorry, I zoned out.”

She can’t tell him what she’s thinking.  Can’t let him know that all she wants to do is see what he tastes like because maybe that will help her.  Distract her enough.

She doesn’t deserve him.

His fingers curl tighter around her hand.  When Aelin tries to pull her hand away from his, he intertwines their fingers instead.

“You’re not alone,” he says. “You know that right?”

“Yeah,” she says. “I know.”

#

The next day Rowan is already at her apartment.  He hasn’t bothered to change out of his scrubs.  There are bags under his eyes and she knows he didn’t get any sleep last night despite her insistence that he do.

“What are you doing?” she asks.  

He’s standing on her one kitchen stool glaring up at the fire alarm. “Fixing this.”

“It’s fine,” she tells him. She eases around him and slings her purse on the counter.  It had been a long day of answering phones.  Somehow, she’d gotten hired as a receptionist as a law firm.  The same law firm, it turned out, that Fenrys was interning at. She’d tried to corner him about it when she learned the truth but he merely winked and shrugged.

“With your cooking?” Rowan lets out a laugh.  “No. You’ll burn this place down in a day.”

“How would you know if I can cook or not?” She stares up at him hands on her hips.  

“Please, Aelin,” he says. He jams the cover into place and hops down from the stool. “I’ve seen your car.  You’ve hit up every fast-food joint in a thirty mile radius.”

“I’m just trying to find the best French fry,” she says, “you can’t blame me for that.”

The smile that crosses his mouth is sinful.  At least, it elicits sinful thoughts in her head.  Thoughts that she has no business having.

“You at least could have waited for when you had a day off and weren’t coming off a shift,” she says.

He shrugs. “It’s fine.”

“You’re exhausted,” she presses.

“It’s fine.”

“Rowan.”

They stare at each other. She is fascinated by his eyes—like always.  What he is so enraptured by in her she doesn’t know but she’s developed a long list about him. Too long.

“I ordered pizza,” he says.

She sputters a laugh. “You ordered pizza?  You were just making fun of me for my lack of cooking skills.”

“I’m a hypocrite.”

“Whatever,” she says and heads to her closet for a change of clothes.  She pauses and looks back at him. “How the hell’d you get in here?”

His expression holds no shame. “I convinced your landlord to give me a copy.”

“Ass,” she says under her breath.  Not quiet enough because he lets out a booming laugh.

It’s the first time in a while that laughter has been in her home, in her life.  And she has to admit, she loves it.  It is glorious.  For once, she can convince herself to be carefree.  Right up until the pizza arrives they are teasing each other. Insults and bickering and eyerolls and scoffs.  For the first time in a while, she could let herself simply be.

Maybe that’s why she does it.

Later, when he’s trying to convince her that she does actually need more than one chair in her apartment.  He’s so adamant about having more chairs that she can’t stop laughing.  He’s making jibes at all the pillows laying all over her bed so why can’t she have another chair?

Because the floor is perfectly comfortable is not a valid excuse.  Nor the fact that she has no friends.

“Fenrys will be highly offended by that statement,” he says.

It’s as he’s leaning over to pull her laptop closer because it’s his turn to pick the movie they watch.  He’s so close that she can feel his body heat. She can catch the faintest hint of cologne lingering on his skin.

And she moves.  It doesn’t take much to to reach out and tug his chin up.  Doesn’t take much to lean forward and kiss him.  It’s a barely there sort of the thing.  The graze so light that they could easily pretend it never happened.  If only her fingers weren’t pressing into his chin and holding him in place.  Of course, he could pull away.  He should pull away.  She should to.

But they don’t.

And Aelin is staring into those eyes that have undone her ever since she woke up in that hospital bed. Her heart is pounding ferociously in her chest and panic starts to snap through her blood.  What the hell did she do?

Her best friend.

Her only friend.

She is a terrible, terrible fool.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers.  She drops her hand from his face and tears her eyes from his.  The flush rising on her skin reminds her of the sun from that summer and it’s quickly becoming too much.  Too much.

Everything is too much.

There is hardly a pause though when Rowan is reaching for her, his large hand cupping her cheek and he pulls her face back towards him.

The silence of the night echoes around them.  Not even a car back firing or howl of a dog.  Just them, left alone in the world.

He moves first this time and presses his forehead against hers.  His eyes flutter closed as he breathes her in and in that moment, Aelin swears it’s the most intimate she has ever been with anyone.  Even Sam.

When he kisses her, Rowan is insistent.  His mouth moves against hers it is with urgency and longing.  Aelin finds herself gasping and raising a hand to grip his arm so she has something to ground her—something to keep her steady.

And after all this time she should have known he would have been that grounding force.

They don’t have the time to move beyond that moment.  Not when Rowans pager goes off.

Cursing, he pulls away from her and fumbles for his phone and pager.  “Damn.  I need to go.”

Aelin nods.  What’s she supposed to say to that?  She looks at him.  “It’s fine.”

She’s certain he moves to touch her again, to kiss her.  But instead, Rowan rises.

He’s at the door before he looks back at her and in the dim lighting of her terribly sad, new apartment he smiles. “I’ll text you.”

And he is gone.

And Aelin doesn’t know if she believes him.

#

Thanks for reading my dears!

Tags:  @tottenhamboys20 @morganofthewildfire  @aelinchocolatelover @esco--s 

[theuntamednarrator]

Thank you @mika--82​ for the question! I’m sorry it took so long but since I really enjoyed plotting out my Cangse Sanren lives au, and I think a lot about the women in The Untamed who didn't get to see their children grow up, strap in for round two of TB Revives the Mothers of the Untamed. This week's episode: Save Mama Lan by killing Lan Qiren \^.^/

(Many thanks to @drwcn​ for letting me borrow her hc names for Mama Lan (Qui Baiti) and Papa Lan (Lan Cenrong). You can read more about them on her blog here and here.)

(Warning for an unsuccessful suicide attempt)

QBT has been isolated in the Jingshi for a decade. She only sees her sons once a month, she isn’t allowed her sword, and her spiritual power is kept sealed

But LWJ inherited his stubbornness from his mum and she's determined to escape, one way or another

LQR is walking by the Jingshi when he feels a massive surge of energy and breaks his first ever Discipline (no running in Cloud Recesses)

He wrenches the Jingshi door open and sees an array that wouldn't look out of place two decades in the future in an alternate universe in a dingy shed behind Mo Manor

LQR breaks his second Discipline in as many minutes (do not make excessive noise) when he screams for his brother before he grabs QBT and drags her out of the array

LQR didn't have time to think, let alone study what the effects of that might be, all he knew was that it was killing her, and that her death would kill the brother he loves more than anything else

The backlash strikes him and he keels over

QBT gathers him up, sobbing and asking why he did it, she wanted to die, why did you do it Lan-er-gongzi? what were you thinking? Your brother loves you

LQR meets his brother’s eyes as he appears over her shoulder, the terrified disciples flanking him a white blur

He smiles and says I know

Curtains on LQR

(alternatively, we can just kill JGS again because ngl that was real satisfying the first time around)

Now the Elders are in a pickle because this may have been an accident but QBT has now been responsible for the deaths of an Elder and Second Young Master Lan

It's decided that the only option is exile

QBT is forbidden from setting foot in Cloud Recesses and the territories of Gusu Lan for ten year and forbidden from speaking to any Lan disciple during that time

She bows, accepts back the plain sword she had yielded when she came through the gates to be married, and is gone before the dawn. LCR watches her leave and then goes to wake their sons

Now, QBT was a wandering cultivator long before she was Lan-furen and actually really enjoys returning to life on the road

I wandered once! I can do it again!

Five years later she meets XXC battling a ferocious demon snake and together they defeat it

QBT definitely doesn’t feel her heart beat a little faster at the youthful face, white robes, and elegant jade-and-silver sword

She answers XXC's graceful bow with one of her own and the two spend a week clearing out the fierce nests of demons on the mountain

The next time their wandering brings them together she is introduced to my good friend Song Lan and hides her smile in her sleeve

Meanwhile in Cloud Recesses without LQR to pick up the slack LCR is forced to step out of seclusion and actually run his sect and parent his children

He does a very good job

QBT has to fight back proud tears every time she hears Twin Jades of Lan spoken of with awe

Ten years to the day of her exile QBT is grinning as she climbs the long flights of stairs towards the gates of Cloud Recesses

Part of that might be the entertaining company she walks with

A young man clutching two bottles of Emperor's Smile and talking so fast she’s only half listening while she tries to figure out if he’s actually taken a breath since introducing himself

Talking at breakneck speed of the young master who had been so strict with him at the gates, aiya Auntie! He was so cold! you should have seen his stony face

QBT only grins harder as WWX climbs the wall, is challenged, and blades flash over tiles (it might bring back fond memories of her own youth)

She slips over the wall while they are distracted and once WWX is silenced she reaches out her hand

You handle your sword beautifully, may I?

LWJ can't even say why - it's too dark to see her face and the voice is roughened after 10 years on the road - but he hands Bichen over without a second thought

She sighs as she runs a finger over the blade and the steel glows, lighting up her face (solely because I think glowy Bichen is very sexy and we should have had more of it in the drama honestly)

Bichen suits you better than it ever suited me, ZhanZhan 

LWJ is emoting all over the place (so embarrassing)

(luckily his back is to WWX because if baby disaster bi WWX saw that smile he would've died on the spot)

WWX of course is still a troublemaking rule breaker and LWJ is still charged with overseeing his punishment

QBT and LXC are united in their LWJ should make friends agenda and LXC inherited his sense of humour and delight for teasing LWJ from QBT

Between the two of them LWJ soon has more friends than he knows what to do with

QBT and LXC co-captain the good ship Wangxian

Of course plot stuff still happens including accidental-marriage-before-a-Quest-Ghost

XXC and SL meet them in Yueyang and when LWJ introduces himself they're thrilled because hey we know your mum! she’s real cool!

They don't trust the clans and they might've heard of NMJ but they know Qui-jiejie and they trust her and so they decide XY will go to Cloud Recesses for judgement

N-wow the twin jades are really deserving of their reputations-HS insists on a Qinghe representative going too

oh me? no no Wei-xiong this has been quite enough adventure for me. Meng Yao you'll go won't you? Dage trusts you and Lan-gongzi admired your *delicate cough* capability *innocent smile*

my.blush.com/embarrassed/yearning agrees

QBT is delighted to see XXC and SL again and happily introduces them to her elder son

SL and LXC almost immediately get into a heated debate over ahistorical fantasy chinese philosophy and/or politics and are instantly bonded

QBT may or may not have instigated said debate with a well-timed quote from a well-known (re: divisive) text

Basically QBT shares my get LXC more friends agenda

SL is, again, the first person (apart from LXC and his parents) to laugh at LWJ's jokes

WWX still refuses to believe this actually happened (the joke and SL laughing) (XXC swears it’s true)

XY is locked in the back hills and eventually a) dies trying to use his hidden piece of the yin iron to break the seals OR b) is rehabilitated by the power of bunnies and become an outer disciple (reader's choice!)

XXC and SL accompany WWX and JC part of the way to Lotus Pier

Cloud Recesses is attacked, QBT and LCR send LXC and MY away with the sacred texts, MY promising he knows somewhere safe to hide

LWJ refuses to leave his parents. The losses are not as bad as in canon, the Wen are beaten back, but LCR and LWJ are both injured

No Good Very Bad Summer Camp with World's Worst Head Counselor WC

No Good Very Bad Turtle Cave of Love

WWX wakes post-rescue with LWJ still there

(Because his parents are holding Cloud Recesses and he knows LXC is safe so he doesn't need to rush off)

JZX, JC, LWJ, and WWX spend a day planning before they split up

(this is hilarious and JC says "fuck" not less than 219 times)

(WWX only almost punches JZX and it only happens twice honestly people should be grateful! he was so restrained!!)

They all return home, LWJ promising to bring reinforcements from Cloud Recesses to Lotus Pier (because it's the most obvious next target. no other reason. just. strategically it makes sense)

WQ sends WN to Lotus Pier to warn WWX when WZL's forces are on their way

When the Wen attack, they're met with a prepared force of 1) YZY and the Jiang Disciples 2) QBT, LWJ, and a contingent of Lan Disciples AND 3) JC and WWX and a gaggle of archers (seriously why tf show the Jiang being so good and then only give us two archery fight scene moments and it’s heart breaking sixth young master jiang dying and some rando ouyang disciple shooting WWX?)

Things get a little hairy but between YZY and QBT they defeat WZL and the rest of the Wen quickly surrender

JFM and JYL arrive just as the battle is ending, escorted by Madam Jin, JZX, LQY, and all the Jin Disciples who were at Cloud Recesses

(WWX: MianMian you came you must have been so worried about me! LQY, ignoring him: Lan-er-gongzi are you okay? WWX: ah Lan Zhan you MianMian really likes you! that’s lucky! LWJ, screaming internally: mn)

(JGS was furious when JZX announced he was joining the campaign but what could he possibly say in front of his battle ready wife without looking like the utter coward of a wet biscuit he is)

Once again WWX is left with a screaming sword, too much curiosity, and too much time on his hands (due to his adopted family being not-dead)

But worse he has now also access to a woman who created an array powerful enough to kill even with her spiritual power sealed

Poor WRH doesn't stand a chance, even without MY spying for the Sunshot Campaign

After the battle QBT&LCR and YZY&JFM shut JGS's bullshit power grab down real quick and JGS sulks like the baby he is (probably in a brothel) while Madam Jin and JZX take over Lanling Jin

JZX hears about MY and the way he helped LXC and NMJ sends a letter of support and JZX is already quite jealous of all these sibling bonds and welcomes Ziyao with open arms

(All of which goes slightly to waste when JZY marries out to the Lan clan slightly less than a year later but hey, at least it's a good alliance.)

WQ takes over the Wen Clan but tears down Nightless City and relocates the capital to Dafan

(WQ: have you been to Nightless City? It’s built on an active volcano. Do you know how bad sulfur ash is for open wounds? Do you know what medical herbs grow in lava slurry? None is the answer. My family are all fucking morons)

(WQ: Not you a-Ning you’re a delight and we’re thrilled you’re here)

Rumour has it a certain immortal was so impressed with the stories of the medical techniques of Dafan Wen that she paid WQ a visit

(Disciples are so reckless after all! One never knows when one might need to be capable of transplanting vital organs!)

Each year WWX and LWJ spend 3 months at Gusu, 3 months at Lotus Pier, and 6 months wandering with XXC and SL

They get "fake married" no less than four times in three years (for the investigation xiongzhang! absolutely no other reason shishu! no other reason at all!) before LXC, MY, XXC, and SL get fed up and barricade them in their room until they talk to each other dammit

(LXC is very grateful MY has gotten so handy with the silencing talismans because the 'conversation' gets uncomfortably loud real quick)

Side note to say Clarity works very well to avert a qi deviation when it's not being actively corrupted, thanks very much, and NMJ lives many, many, many years which would be entirely happy if only NHS would pick up his saber once in a while

He would tell NHS this if he could ever find him

Happy ending!³

[littlebitoffanfic]

An Angel With A White Warg

Orc x reader – can you write an orc x reader when the reader saves him Your group was a small bunch of misfits mishmashes together. You were made up of 5 members including yourself and you travelled through the surrounding areas as you pleased. Jason was the only other human in the group, although he could easily pass for a small orc in bars because of his height and lack of good posture. But he was the leader and an old friend of yours. Keli was the only other female in the group, and she was part goblin part human. She had long pointed ears and grey hair even though she was 25 years old. Her eyes were a dark brown colour and her fingers were a little longer than humans. Her father and mother had left her at a young age when you and Jason met her. She was your closest friend and you treated her like a sister. The last two members were two dwarven brothers called Markil and Sein. They had fallen into your group about 8 years ago during a raid which saw them fighting along side you, Jason and Keli for your life’s after an group of orcs had invaded the inn you were staying at. They were very quite and kept themselves to themselves, but it was better to travel in numbers in these areas. Both stood at 4 feet tall and had beards, Markils being ginger and Seins being more brown. You couldn’t guess their ages since dwarfs lived well beyond humans but they had joked they were 125 years old at one point. They were more the ‘elders’ of the group, guiding you around a battle rather than through it. This was your family. It wasn’t much, and it was broken, but it was yours. There was one addition made only 2 years ago, a warg. The dwarfs had tried to kill the poor thing, but you convinced them to spare its life. You called her Lunar, after her dazzling white coat that reminded you of a full moon. She was still in her teenaged years and had took a liking to you instantly. Of all the group, you were the weakest. Well, weakest was the wrong word. You were deadly with a sword and other weapon, but if something happened unexpected, you were the most valuable of the group. Keli had thicker skin and sharp nails. Her teeth were jagged at the ends so she could easily fight off an attacker. Jason with his strength and size made him intimidating to even try to take on. Markil and Sein were barley apart and never without a weapon in their hands. You were more passive, and kept everyone healthy. So you had persuaded the group to allow you to keep Lunar for protection, a position she seemed more than happy to fill. So your little band of misfits gained a member and you continued on your never-ending journey. You travelled to avoid prejudges. Humans weren’t looked on kindly, neither were dwarfs or halfborns (the word used for children whos parents are different). But you all had ways of making money. You made and sold knickknacks and knitted things. Keli used her nails to carve and wicker little things from wood. The dwarfs would trade with armour and weapons and Jason would offer his services as a labourer. Today, it had been dark and dingy. Jason had grumbled the entire journey because he was tired but Keli would just jab him in his back, joking that she would cut his eyelids off and he’d never sleep again. the group settled on a small camp area near a river about an hour before nightfall. Lunar had sprawled herself out near the fire and Jason had to usher her to the side when it came time to cook. Markil and Sein were first to fall asleep after night fall as their snores became prominent through the small camp. Keli had been next with Jason sleeping near her. You were left to watch for half the night, calling on Markil to take the next in a few hours. Lunar sat up with you, allowing you to lean against her side as your eyes skimmed back and forth through the surrounding trees. She lowered her head to rest on her paws, letting out a puff through her nostrils as she began to drift off. but about an hour into your watch, she sat bolt up right, knocking you forward. You jumped, unsure why she would make such a sudden mood until she bared her teeth, her gaze focused on an area right in front of you. “What is it? Someone close by?” You ask, grabbing your small blade. True, she was known to overreact to a squirrel. But you never took a warning like this lightly. getting to your feet, you followed her gaze and started to venture further into the wood with her at your heels. you knew if something happened, she would howl and wake the others in a heartbeat. After a moment of quiet, you heard heavy panting coming from somewhere to your right. Lunar bared her teeth, a deep growl coming from her throat but you hushed her with a wave of your hand. That wasn’t the sound of an attacker. That sounded like someone was being hurt. “It went this way!” A voice suddenly yelled from your left and you saw light coming your way. Pushing Lunar back, you considered running back to the others, but then you heard a horrible cackling. A laugh that sent chills through your body. The type you had heard directed at your family, at you. “Fuckin’ orcs.” A second voice followed and they were dangerously close. Orc? The word made you freeze. The only interaction you had had with orcs was not a fond memory. But something about this felt… wrong. You could see there was a small clearing through the trees and then something moved. It was large, and hunched over on its hands and knees. Easily an orc. But it was shaking and grunting with pain. You were about to run out to it when the lights of fire torches came running through from left. A group of Goblins, tall and thin bounced through the trees and ran for the orc. The first to get to him landed a kick to its abdomen, dropping the poor thing to the ground. no less than 6 Goblins crowded round the orc, taunting it and attacking the creature. “Maybe we should just yank his tusks out.” One cackled. “or skin it!” Another suggested. “Not that its got much.” you felt sick to your stomach. You couldn’t stand here and let them tear into this orc. Lunar whined from your side as she padded from foot to foot. You knew she must have been beaten as a pup, due to a number of scars across her skin. So you didn’t expect her to follow you into a losing battle. “Go back, get the others.” You tell her, rubbing behind her ears before darting out from behind the tree. “HEY!” You cried out, your voice echoing through the clearing. The groups heads snapped in your direction with fear. But that fear quickly disappeared. You didn’t blame them. Six big, fully grown Goblins had taken down a large orc. One tiny human wasn’t exactly going to be a problem. “Run along home, little girl.” One sneered, his voice mocking you. From between your feet, you saw the orc raise its head in your direction and the sight shocked you. You could tell it was male by the tusks, which were a lot bigger in male orcs than females. But its face was bloodied and battered. One eye shone a deep blue with the other was white, perhaps even blind. “Get away from him.” You snapped, using your hand to motion for them to move. “Im warning you.” “Little humans warning us. We’d better be scared.” A Goblin mimicked a frighten voice but moved out towards you. “Humans are sweeter anyway.” The groups attention was turned to you and they moved away from orc, who was struggling to get up on all fours again. You could hear his gasps for air. But as the whole group started to advance on you, you found yourself moving back. You hoped Lunar had got back to the others, that she was bringing them here. And soon. “Leave. Her!” The orc cried out, his voice deep and filled with an authority you had never heard before. It shook your whole body and you saw he had managed to get to his feet. His shoulders were hunched, his body covered in blood, his legs shaking. His fists were clenched as he snarled at the group of goblins. You couldn’t believe it. He had a chance to get away, to get a head start while they were distracted. You didn’t know if he brave or just stupid. “Takin’ a liking to the little human, filth?” A goblin turned back to the orc. “You can watch her die first.” Wrong chose of words. A howl filled the air, so loud you could have sworn it was a banshee. You looked behind you and saw Lunar come running out the trees. She slowed to a walk as she came close to you, her teeth bared and a low growl coming out her snout as she stared at the goblins. You placed your hand on her side, feeling her heart was racing. Hopefully this meant she had run back to the others and they were hot on her heels. You saw the orcs legs shaking violently before he fell back to his knees, panting. “I’ll give you another warning.” You look back to the group of Goblins, who had backed down considerably. Lunar was about 6 foot tall at the top of her head and she was rather intimidating to look at, especially when she was growling like this. “But my friends aren’t so forgiving.” You started to walk to the group, Lunar right beside you. The goblins all moved to the right, shuffling as they dare not to take their eyes off Lunar. You walked up to the orc as Lunar put herself between you both and the goblins. “can you stand?” you asked, kneeling in front of him. He had put both his hands on the ground to steady himself with his eyes closed. He had shoulder length dreadlocks which had fallen in front of his face, acting like a curtain between you both. “No.” he growled lowly so they couldn’t hear him. “Okay, I have some friends coming. We’ll help you.” You say in a soft and soothing voice as you reach and move his dreadlocks to the side. The gentle gesture made his head snap up to you and he met your eyes. He froze as he started at you, looking like he had just seen a ghost or an angel. you withdrew your hand to grab the bottom of your top. You used both your hands to tear a small bit off so you could try stop the bleeding from a cut on his head. His eyes never left your face as he stared at you in awe. You raised the cloth to his forehead, wiping the blood away gently. “the. Goblins.” He grunted, his eyes darting to the group that Lunar was keeping a bay, but they hadn’t dispersed. They were whispering among themselves. “Lunar will keep them there until the others come.” You comfort him. You could see his face was torn and had seen scars long before this group of goblins. His lip was spilt in the corner, his cheek had a couple of nasty gashes in them and a scar ran from the middle of his nose up to his eyebrow, crossing his white eye. “we can take down the damn warg!” You heard one of the goblins growl and your head snapped to them. You saw them starting to advance on Lunar, who kept her ground and growled, snapping her jaws at them. Yes, they could take her down, but they would also suffer very dangerous injuries in the process. “Might want to reconsider that idea.” The new voice floated through the air and you felt yourself let out a sign of relief. Jason, Markil, Keli and Sein all stepped out from the trees, their weapons glinting in the moonlight. “[y/n]? wheres yer weapon?” Markil called across to you, his brow furrowed meaning he knew the answer. “a slight oversight on my behalf.” You called back, seeing Jason roll his eyes while Keli smirked and they both made their way across to you. the sudden movement was more than enough for the group of goblins who turned on their heels and bolted into the night. You made a mental note to speak to Keli when this had settled. She was often deeply affected by encounters with goblins like this. While the majority would live in towns and lead nice lives, it was the ones who hunted the forest at nights that made her hate her heritage. But you would speak with her, and calm her down by assuring her that she would never be like them. The orc was getting weaker and weaker by the second. His eyes had shut and then fluttered open when he felt Keli and Jason lifting him, but he allowed it. His eyes looked to you and you smiled, hoping it might relax him, which it did. Jason and Keli had his arms around their shoulder and his feet trailed on the ground. You followed and Lunar trotted up to you, rubbing her head against your shoulder as she searched for praise, which you gave her. Markin and Sein walked behind the orc and you and Lunar lead the way back to the camp. -----time skip ---------------- Markin and Sein had scouted out a small cave which would offer more protection right now. The orc had fallen into a deep sleep the second he was laid on the ground and you knew you couldn’t leave him. You sat up the whole night, cleaning him up a little. His wounds were bad, and needed to be bandaged, but with the dark clouds that were setting in, you would need shelter. The next morning, Markin and Sein went in search of a camping spot that wouldn’t be as exposed. A cave was always the safest option because normally there was only one way in and out which made it easier to guard. Lunar carried the orc on her back with ease as you guided her to the new camp. Jason and Keli stayed to pack everything. once there, Lunar gently lay down and you were able to gently slide the orc off her back with Markin and Sein. Just as Lunar bend down and you and Markin slid the orc off her back, the orcs eyes began to open. Markin and Sein said they would stay by the entrance, and that if anything happened, they would come. But you had little to worry about. The orc stayed still as you began to bandage him up. He watched your closely and with confusion. But he didn’t speak until you were nearly done with his wounds. “I thought you were a dream.” He breathed, his voice rough and he sounded weak. “A dream?” You giggle. “Yeah, some kind of angel. A dying moment kind of dream.” He chuckled a little, sounding a little better in himself. “A maiden with a white warg. Sounds like a story we tell kids.” “that would be some story.” You laugh, looking to Lunar. She was curled up beside you, her head resting on the floor but she wasn’t asleep. She was watching you and the orc carefully. Maybe that’s why he hadn’t spoken straight away. “Do you have a name?” He asks you. “My names [y/n].” you smile, nodding in a small introductory manner. “You got a last name?” He asked and you couldn’t help but tilt your head in confusion. “Most humans have last names.” “[l/n]. [y/n] [l/n].” You tell him, wondering why he would be so interested in your name. “you saved my life, miss [l/n]. I owe it to you.” He winces as you place a bandage over the cut and started to wind it around his thick arm. “You own me nothing.” You shake your head a little as you focus on making sure the bandage was tight enough to stay up but not tight enough to hurt him. “I aint got anything else to give you.” his voice strained a little as he flinched. “Then give me your word you wont let yourself get hurt like this again.” You tuck the bandage in and move to kneel in front of him. You only had one more wound to go. A small gash on his chest just above his heart. You gently reached a damp cloth to clean it a little more. It wouldn’t need stitching or bandaged, but you did want to make sure it was clean. “I can do better. I’ll give you my word you will never be hurt.” He reaches up and grabs your hand tight in his hand. Lunars head rose as she bared her teeth silently at him. But the orc didn’t even notice. “And how do you plan to do that, sir orc?” You ask him, a small smile playing on your lips. “I’ll protect you. stay by your side till my dying breath.” He vowed, and you could see in his eyes that he truly meant it. “it sounds like you’re asking me to marry you.” You giggle a little. “I am.” He nods once, his expression serious and unfazed. “you don’t need to do this. Don’t you have a family?” You ask, the humour of the situation slipping away when you realised, he was serious. “They’re all dead apart from a few across the land.” He shook his head and all the scaring made sense to you. “so you just propose to the first girl who helps you?” You ask with a raised eyebrow. “No, I ask an angel to let me stay by her in exchange for my life.” He tells you and you couldn’t help but smile. he was incredibly charming. And, as much as you wanted to shake your head at the preposterous idea, you liked it. He was certainly attractive when he wasn’t covered in blood. And you could very easily see yourself falling for someone like him. And he was alone in this cruel world. Just like you and the others were. And orcs were passionate beings. They seemed to fall in love in an instant, knowing when they meet the one and doing everything in their power to protect their significant other. Marriage is sacred to them. And, judging by his tattoos and markings, he was proud and honoured his heritage. “I don’t think my friends would be pleased to come and find im now married to an orc I just met last night.” You giggle, trying to bring some light to the decision. But you couldn’t help but noticed the hurt and rejection in his eyes. “But, why don’t you join us? we could get to know each other first and then, let say once your wounds are healed, if you still wish to marry me, we can discuss it.” The orc sat for a moment in contemplation before nodding. “I shall prove myself to you and your friends.” He said, apparently taking your request for time as a opportunity to show why you should marry him. “well, I should know the name of the orc who intends to marry me so.” You smile and he pauses for a moment. “of course.” He frowns, internally scolding himself as he realises, he didn’t introduce himself. “I am Maknok.” “Maknok?” you repeated back to him to make sure you were pronouncing it right and he smiled and nodded. Just then, you hear voices approaching the cave. He stiffened, his eyes darting to the caves entrance. “That’ll be the others coming. I’ll introduce you to them.” You try to calm him down, placing your free hand on his shoulder. He still held your right hand in his own. “Are they your family?” He asks. “Yes. We’re a little broken and different. But we protect our own.” You nod. You assumed he could only remember you and Lunar, so you didn’t want him getting confused when your little mismatched family walked in. He nodded, his eyes falling on Lunar who stood up and shook. She walked up and knocked her head against your own before looking to the mouth of the cave. “okay, go on.” You smile as she bounces out of the cave like a puppy to go meet the others. you turn back to the orc who was deep in thought. He seemed fascinated by you in every way. Like you really some kind of angel with a white warg.

[spnsisimagines]

Still the Same

Warnings: Losing an arm, depression, descriptive gore Characters: Sam & Dean Winchester, Hunter!Reader, Rowena, Crowley, Gabriel, Castiel, Lucifer, Balthazar Summary: After losing your left arm during a hunt, your friends help you regain your confidence. Reader’s Age: Under 18 Word Count: 2177

Y/N: Your Name

A/N: Not sure how I like this one tbh. There’s an easter egg in here btw so look out for that. I also really struggled to figure out a title don’t judge... Enjoy!

"I think I can handle this one," you said, crossing your arms over your chest as you stared at the two brothers. You had been with the Winchesters for a few years. You had grown up in the hunting life, and when your parents were killed, the Winchesters took you in. The brothers would usually let you hunt with them, but only if the cases were easy.

"It's a nest of vampires, Y/N, you're not ready for that," Dean replied as he shoved a machete into his duffle bag.

"I've killed vampires before, Dean, this is no different," you snapped.

"You're a kid, Y/N. If you think I'm gonna just let you walk into a nest of what? Ten vamps? You're out of your mind," Dean threw his duffle over his shoulder and walked out of his room, you trailing behind him.

"I won't be going in alone! I'll have you two!" You argued, looking over at Sam as you entered the War Room.

"Dean, maybe we should let her, she has to learn somehow," Sam took your side, seeing your pleading eyes.

"Really? You agree with her?" Dean turned away from the stairs to look at his brother.

"We'll watch her back, and we know she can watch ours," Sam replied. Dean looked at you, seeing the slight smirk on your face as you know he has lost this battle.

"Fine!" He grudgingly agreed as he walked upstairs, you and Sam following.

"You do everything we say when we say it, and exactly how we say it, got it?" Dean handed you a machete. You saluted him and nodded.

The hunt went fairly well; you slashed at every vampire that dared showed its face. You and the brothers were checking around the barn for any hiding vampires. There were bodies and heads everywhere. You watched Sam walk into a back room in the barn while Dean peeked his head outside. You looked around the room, feeling accomplished. You smirked, to think that Dean doubted you. Pfft. Look at what you did! You took out a vampire nest.

You walked towards some haybales and took a seat. You thought you felt someone behind you, but you figured it was one of the brothers. Your eyes wandered to the door, seeing Dean a few feet outside. You looked to your right and saw Sam through a window in the back room. Your eyebrows furrowed together as your breathing came to a halt.

You slowly turned around and saw a vampire holding a machete above his head. You instinctively held your left arm up to shield you from any incoming blows. The machete buried itself into your forearm. You let out a blood-curdling scream as the vampire yanked the machete out of your flesh and gave you another blow to your upper arm. Within seconds, you were down on the ground with darkness surrounding you.

You took a deep breath in, seeing bright lights through your closed eyelids. You slowly opened them, expecting to see a dingy motel room or your room at the bunker, but you weren't expecting to see a hospital room. Your eyebrows knitted together as you looked around. You saw Dean passed out sleeping in a chair next to you. You continued looking around and saw Sam outside the room drinking some water.

With your head pounding, you closed your eyes at the pain and went to put your left hand on your temple, but you felt nothing on your head. You opened your eyes and didn't see a hand at your left side. You froze for a moment; it's probably under the blanket. You went to move it, seeing your shoulder move slightly, nothing else happened. You sat up and used your right arm to throw the blanket off of you. You stared down at your left side, seeing nothing. Your voice got caught in your throat.

Sam entered the room and saw your panicked state. He quickly rushed to your side, "Hey," he sat down by your legs.

"W-where-" you continued to stare at the space where your arm used to be.

"They, uh, they had to amputate it," Sam said quietly, reaching over and giving Dean a few taps to wake him.

"I-I don't..." Your eyes filled with tears, watching your left shoulder move.

Dean jolted awake and leaned forward. "How're you feeling?" He asked.

"I don't have a left arm, Dean, how do you think I'm feeling?" You barked, not removing your eyes from your shoulder.

"Right, stupid question," Dean mumbled, looking at Sam for help.

"Why couldn't Cas heal me?" Your voice broke as you finally made eye contact with Sam.

"He wasn't responding, we had to make a decision, rather wait for him to get here and risk you dying or amputate your arm, knowing you'd live," Sam explained, he wanted to reach for your hand, but realized it wasn't there anymore.

"I would've rather died," you mumbled. The brothers' eyes widened at your comment.

"You don't mean that," Dean said, taking your right hand in his.

You looked up and stared so deep into his eyes, "I would rather be dead," you spat, yanking your hand from his grasp.

Sam and Dean gave each other a look before getting up and walking away.

You went back to looking at your left side. You swear you could still feel your arm. You were tapping your fingers right now. You took your right hand and slowly touched your shoulder where your arm would've been connected.

"Hmm, so it is true?" A voice spoke. Your head flung up to see Gabriel.

"What's true?" You replied.

Gabriel motioned to your missing arm, "You're a pirate now,"

"I lost my arm not my leg," disdain leaked throughout your words.

"Right!" He pointed towards you. "But now you can get a cool mechanical arm,"

"Yeah, okay, Gabe, let me just pull the thousands of dollars out of my bank account to turn into Bucky Barnes," you rolled your eyes.

"Geez, buzzkill... Didn't know you were so much like the Winchesters," Gabriel mumbled.

"What's that supposed to mean?" you clenched your jaw.

"It means," a new voice spoke. You turned your head to see Lucifer sitting on a chair with his legs kicked up onto your bed. "that you're now little miss grumpy pants,"

"Are you two in my head or are you really here?" You asked, not knowing if you were dreaming.

"Oh, we're here, buttercup," Gabe answered, tossing some candy into his mouth. "And you," he pointed at you, "need to cheer up. The only reason we like you is that you're the little ray of sunshine that keeps the two idiots outside together. You take that away, and we all crumble apart,"

"He's got a point, y'know," Lucifer mumbled as he stared at his intertwined fingers.

"Sure, let me just start bouncing up and down at the fact that I lost my arm!" Your voice grew with every word.

"Just think of it this way, it's one less limb you have to worry about!" Lucifer suggested. You rolled your eyes at his comment.

"Oh, would you two shush!" A woman's voice was heard. You looked towards the door and saw Rowena and Crowley. "You are obviously not making her feel any better," she sauntered over to your bed. "How are you feeling, dear?" She grabbed your right hand.

"Terrific," you muttered.

"Oh, now, now, deary. Just because you're one limb short doesn't mean your life has to disappear along with it," she fixed your hair a bit.

Rowena was about to continue talking, but someone cut her off. "So, who's ready to drink your life away?" Balthazar stood in the room with two bottles of alcohol.

"Put those away you, embesil," Crowley spoke.

"Yeah, she's a kid! Pass me some," Lucifer motioned for Balthazar to bring the bottles over.

"What the hell is going on?" Sam, Dean, and Castiel stood in the doorway, not knowing how to react to the room full of angels, demons, and a witch.

"We're here to make the honorary Winchester feel better, no thanks to you three," Gabriel was the first to speak.

Dean's eyes fell on Lucifer who was now holding the liquor bottles. Lucifer quickly pushed the bottles back into Balthazar's hand as Lucifer pointed to him. You smiled at the scene.

"What do you mean no thanks to us?" Dean shook his head slightly, turning his attention to Gabriel.

"You two left her here to mope!" Gabriel stood up straight, puffing his chest out, ready to defend you.

"Can we just go home?" You interrupted the conversation before it got out of hand.

You arrived back at the bunker. You immediately went to your room, not wanting to be around for the pity party.

"Y'know, between you and me," you heard Lucifer speak as you shut your door. Of course, you weren't going to get some peace and quiet. "I think the no-arm situation is pretty badass. Just think of all the things you can do!" He sat on your dresser.

You raised an eyebrow at him, "If anything, I can do fewer things than I could with two arms,"

"Fair," he raised a finger that pointed to the ceiling, "but, now that you're a cripple, you get so many perks!"

"Don't call me that," you hissed, collapsing onto your bed.

"Whatever you say, Bethany," you glared at Luci. "My point being, you have an excuse to not do so many things! Carrying heavy things, driving, getting things down from the top shelf," he listed. None of those things made you feel better, but you appreciated the effort, especially since it's coming from Satan himself.

"Just think of how much of a dude-magnet that is!" Gabriel appeared.

"Are we gonna go through this again?" You groaned, pinching the bridge of your nose.

"What we're trying to say is you shouldn't let the no-arm thing get in the way of you being you. Sure, you're less of you physically, but your noggin' is still intact. It's time to show everyone you can be just as powerful as you were with two arms," Lucifer spoke. You took a deep breath and looked up, seeing the room empty.

It had been a few weeks since you lost your left arm. The brothers and your friends have slowly been helping you regain your confidence. Dean took it upon himself to give a death glare to anyone that he felt was staring too long. Sam helped teach you how to do simple things with one arm, like cooking, typing, and hopefully, driving. Castiel and Lucifer helped teach you how to fight. Gabriel would always bring you candy in hopes of cheering you up. Balthazar would often bring you to different timelines to witness different historical events. Rowena would bring you with her to have a girls day, buying you new clothes to help you feel even more confident. And then Crowley would let you play with his Hellhounds, saying there was nothing else he could offer.

You had gone with the brothers for a hunt. You decided to stay at the motel, not feeling confident enough to go with them. But something was wrong. It had been a few hours, and they weren't back. You kept checking your phone, but nothing was there — no new texts. No missed calls. No voicemails. Nothing.

You grabbed your gun and headed out the door.

You approached the abandoned hotel. You walked through the squeaky door as you looked around. Graffiti and broken glass were everywhere. It was hard to believe that this hotel used to be clean and buzzing with people.

You held your gun in your hand, checking if the safety was off. You heard grunting coming from a room behind the front desk. You hopped over the desk, the other way being blocked by a pile of chairs. You slowly opened the door, seeing Sam and Dean tied up, backs to each other.

You crept through the door, hiding behind a pillar. You glimpsed around the corner, watching someone circle them. You thought back to this being a witch hunt, one of the reasons you didn't want to go with.

You held your gun down by your legs, waiting for an opportunity to shoot. The witch said some mumbo-jumbo and Dean started grunting in pain, holding most of the pain in to not seem weak.

Sam yelled something at the witch; she said something else and Sam started coughing up blood. You flung around the corner, reaching your arm out as you pulled the trigger three times, each bullet hitting the witch. Sam and Dean took deep breaths as the pain left them. You rushed over to them and started untying them, using your teeth when needed.

"Damn, Y/N! Why didn't we have you with us in the first place?" Dean chuckled as he untied his feet while you worked on untying Sam's hands.

"Thanks, Y/N. That was pretty awesome," Sam complimented as he untied the rest of himself and you stood up.

"Guess I got my hunting skills back," you chuckled.

"You kidding me? Those skills never left!" Dean threw an arm around your shoulders as he led all of you out.

Requested by Anonymous: “ WHY HELLO THERE!! Can I have a drabble where the reader is like 13 and not related to anyone winchesters or Angels but still hunts with them and one day goes through a freak hunting accident where they couldn't get to her intime and she ends up losing her left arm and they (winchesters, GABRIEL,cas,Balthazar, crowley and lucifer) try to cheer her up and help her self esteem and eventually she becomes more self assured,starts hunting and ends up saving all of them big time! Pls and thanks”

Tags: @magicalsis11 @joanne-egberp @16wiishes @fanboyswhereare-you @athenepallas @spnkisum @jamric @oneshotsdeanshort @jensen-jarpad @capruinedmylife @bea789 @starswirlblitz @damalseer@iamflanneltrash @zeusmyster @violinmyhead @lauren-novak @evyiione@alexandriajanae4 @graceb200371 @overcastmisfitkid  @lovelaughlivesmilebright @liliafangirls @ellie-andthemachine @death-unbecomes-you

If you would like to be tagged/untagged then shoot me an ask/message!

[the-canary]

Kitchen Royalty - B.B (8/15)

Summary: Falling in love wasn’t on the menu, but neither was finding prince charming looking like a trash raccoon and living in your industrial freezer. (Pastry AU! Reader/Bucky Barnes)

Prompt: Sleeping Beauty

Masterlist

A/N: This is for @ciarawritesmarvel​ ‘s 1k challenge. *glares at chapter, only for chapter to glare back*

Please enjoy and feedback is always appreciated.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

The “talk” between you and Bucky doesn’t happen right away as it should, what with your building supervisor calling you and saying he has to have you come back to look at your apartment -- the rattling of pipes just being an infestation in disguise. You weren’t going back there anytime soon, as you prepared moving some stuff into storage and bringing some more clothing back with you. Between the two of you and Maria, the shop and the orders keep going but it isn’t the same as it was before. Smiles replaced with concerned looks and shying away from the biggest secrets at hand, as Bucky sees you look at the letter from time to time, because he is fully aware of what Marjorie's is --  it had been his mother’s major competition once across the bridge once, before it got too grand scale and now only had stores in the more “upper class” side of New York. However, the cold side of business never seemed important to you, as you smile caked in flour and other ingredients to your customers.

However, here you were -kind, selfless you- claiming that you were the daughter of someone who ran such a company. He couldn’t believe it, but frankly Bucky couldn’t remember much from a certain time either. Besides, he has his own fish to fry, as you knock on the door to his little room one Saturday evening, a  week after you have received the letter, with bag at hand and wearing a wistful smile.

“If you’re okay with talking to tonight, I brought cake and we could make some coffee,” you declare as blue eyes watch you shuffle nervously for a moment.

“Yeah,” he gets up with a defeated sigh, as if he is getting ready to face the firing squad.

 While, you were a good baker, you weren’t a miracle worker or patient enough to bake some things, or just weren’t good enough, at least in your head. The dreaded lava cake was one of them, but you loved to indulge on them when you could, especially from Pietro’s main workplace. The head chef and owner of Barton’s --an older, grumpy man that liked to tease Pietro-- Clint was an expert at making it. It was your comfort food and you were going to need after looking back at how exactly you started SB Pastry . After eating dinner, you feel blue eyes watching your every move from the other side of the counter as you take the cake out of the container and plate it with a side of vanilla ice cream.    

“My dad’s store wasn’t always so big, ya know?” you start off, as you take a spoon and cut the cake in half, watching the dark chocolate spill out, “He had one or two stores that he kept watch over, named them after his ma, entered competitions and just liked making people happy. Married, had my brothers and I. Worked everyday until he got sick, but never complained. Not once in his life.”

Bucky watches you take a bite out before digging in with his own spoon. You rub your eye with your sleeve, promising that you won’t cry thinking about your old man, you know he would have always wanted you smiling.

“Worked himself to death. Ma couldn’t pay the bills or keep the shops open on her own, so some financial consultants took it over on her behalf, made it what it is today,” you look away for a moment and huff out a breathe as Bucky’s hand softly grabs yours, “It survived, but at a cost and I couldn’t live with that. I’ve always been the firecracker in the family compared to my brothers. Fought tooth and nail with my mom, with the investors until I came of age. I took my share of what dad left and ran to Queens. This store is the only thing I have left of him.”

“You’re trying to keep his memory alive,” Bucky asks softly, as you nod though you vaguely remember the man that taught you how to bake and to be kind to everyone you met.

“It’s a struggle keeping this place open half the time,” you admit, remembering the last time you had looked into the accounting books, “And neither Rumlow or Rollins are gonna back down from destroying any potential competition.”

“You don’t have to enter,” Bucky tries to deflate your subtle anger, as you dig into the innocent ice cream before taking another bite and shaking your head. The bitterness of the dark chocolate matching your words.

“I’m not gonna coward and run away, Buck,” you explain, “I gotta do this.”

“Stubborn,” he says with a laugh, as you shrug.  The room is quite for a long moment, as Bucky gains the courage to talk, slowly taking off the glove on his left hand to show the metal you had only seen once before. Your eyes meet, as he gives you a sad smile.

“Signed up for the army straight out of high school. Did a couple of tours, killed people,” Bucky stops and take a quick bite of the cake, “Lost my arm in an attackand got sent back home. It’s been a struggle since I came back, doll.”

You’re silent as he hangs his head, waiting for you to say something, kick him out or tell him that he was an idiot for getting caught up in a hopeless war, he’s heard it all before but he knows it would kill him hearing it from your pretty lips. Instead he hears you whisper: Can I touch it?

He nods and gasps silently at the change in density of his metal hand. He feels you lift it and press it to your face, cradling it like its fine china and not some type of monstersity. Something soft presses against the center, as he lets out a choked sob at the immediate acceptance you have of him, of the endless kindness you have shown him, and in the stillness of your kitchen -- something bittersweet, like the ice cream covered in chocolate, begins to bloom in his chest.   

 Over the next couple of days, Bucky watches you apply and prepare your proposal with Maria, who had at least two degrees in business, from what he understood. To enter the competition, you needed a corporate sponsor and the two of you had thought it would be best to ask the one man that had brought the spotlight to your little store -- Tony Stark. It was a long shot, but there was an excited grin on your face that Bucky couldn’t help but admire. He had promised himself that he would stay as long as you would need him, then he would consider going back home -- going back to Brooklyn and his own life. Even if you hadn’t rejected who he was and his past, he couldn't keep taking advantage of your kindness forever, he needed to move on and find his own way.  

“Buck,” you drag him out of his thoughts after the morning rush, as he notices you holding a plastic folder, “Do you wanna see our finished proposal?”

Blue eyes soften at the sight of you excited over your concept and gives you a look over as you are dressed in a black dress and heels,. Happy having gotten you a meeting with Mr. Stark for later in the day, after you had pleaded with him relentlessly. Excitement and a mixed of emotions bubbled in his chest as he nodded, you handing him the folder with a huge smile. He looks over it once, twice -- eyes widening at the signature of your proposal... pudding .

“Isn’t that a little conventional for a bakery?” he questions, as you look away a little embarrassed.

“It’s fulfilling a promise from a long time ago, okay?” you explain, a bit shier than before. Bucky nods, though a little unconvinced, thus he decides to say the first thing that pops up into his head.

“What? From a boy?”

“Yeah, my pudding prince,” you admit, as Bucky sees how the look in your face softens as if almost lost in a sweet memory, “I know it’s silly and I doubt he would even care, much less remember, but I promised if I entered this competition...I would use pudding.”

Bucky stands frozen for awhile, as you turn to look at him a little worried. His grip tightens on the folder, but before you can ask if anything is wrong, Maria comes barreling into the kitchen.

“Mr. Stark is here!” she declares, as you jump out of your business dress for a moment, thinking that you were going to go over there and not that the billionaire would drive to your dingy shop in Queens.

“Oh shit,” you grab the folder, grasping Bucky’s hand for a moment and dragging him out of his stupor, “Wish me luck!”

“You don’t need it, but good luck,” he gives you a boyish grin, the more carefree you have seen him in all the time you had known him, as he squeezes your hand tightly before letting go. Mr. Stark’s voice declaring that he is here and the excited crowd in the front of the shop dragging you away. Bucky is left alone in the back, as a faint memory bubbles to the surface.

“Pudding, huh?” is all he manages to say to himself.

Part 9

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Fresh Starts

Summary: Reader is having a relaxing day out on the water when she comes across a man in need of some help. Or not...

Square: Pirate!AU

Pairing: Pirate!Dean x reader

Word Count: 1,700ish

Rating: teen (language)

A/N: Written/created for @spnaubingo

“Care to help a guy out?” asked the man in a little dingy that you’d spotted a ways back and headed towards. “Current swept me out and my motor is dead.”

“Sure, tie off,” you said, walking away from the wheel and tossing him a line. You went back to the wheel as he he climbed up on board.

“Thanks,” he said a little shyly. “Nice boat.”

“Thanks,” you said. He reached behind his back but not quick enough for you to pull the handgun you had under the wheel. “Don’t even think about it dumbass.”

“I don’t know what-”

“You aren’t stealing my boat,” you said. “Now put your hands on your head and get down on your knees.” 

“I really don’t-”

“Don’t make me ask again,” you said.

“Son of a bitch,” he said, doing as told and grumbling up at you. You fished around in the compartment under the wheel and tossed him a pair of zip ties that landed in front of him.

“Put one hand through,” you said. He moved his hands and put one through but still pretty damn loose. “Tighter.”

“Bitch,” he muttered, pulling it taut so he couldn’t slip out.

“Hands behind your back. Put the other one through,” you said. He glared at you as he did it, watching as you moved around behind him and pulled that one as well. You found a knife in his back pocket but apart from that he was clean. “Up,” you said.

You dragged him over where he could sit in the corner in your view while you drove back to town.

“How about we call this a misunderstanding?” he said.

“You tried to hijack my boat. I call that I should just shove you overboard right now,” you said.

“That’d be a little cruel given my situation,” he said, nodding down at himself before back at you.

“Do I look like I give a shit about your situation?” you said rolling your eyes. “Hope you enjoy prison.”

“Fuck you,” he said.

“Shut up. We got a ways before we get back in,” you said. 

“Listen, I was going to leave you with the dingy. The motor works. I just need the money,” he said after a few minutes.

“Oh? I’m sorry, you’re right. I forgive you now jackass,” you said.

“My name is Dean. My brother is going to school. He needs the money so he’s not in debt forever,” he said. You just had to look at him when he said that and see the truth in his words. “I wasn’t going to hurt you, just scare you a little.”

“I don’t care,” you said. “Congrats on being the worst pirate in the history of the universe.”

“Please just cut me a break. Put me in the dingy and toss me the knife then,” he said. “I’ll go.”

“No. You might flip over and then you’d drown,” you said. He raised an eyebrow and laughed.

“Five minutes ago you said you’d gladly shove me off like-”

“I’m mad, not...just be quiet alright?” you said, sighing to yourself. “It’s not even my boat you idiot.”

“What?” he asked looking up.

“I rented it for the weekend. It’s some club boat or something,” you said.

“Sorry,” he said quietly. “Even if it was yours, it’s wrong.”

“Thief has a conscious after all,” you teased. He was less angry now, more upset with himself than anything. “I’ll-”

An alarm started going off and Dean looked up curiously.

“Stay,” you told him as you went past and down into the cabin. You went into the back room that was filling with black smoke, a flame appearing when you got closer. “Shit.”

You ran back upstairs and heard another alarm going off, Dean’s eyes a little wide.

“I think our boat is fucked,” you said, hearing a pop and explosion that rolled the boat and sent Dean tumbling on the deck. You ran over and cut him free to his surprise. “Don’t make me regret that.”

“You won’t,” he said, the boat rolling again as you tried to radio for help. But you couldn’t get anywhere near it as something caught fire and you froze up, not sure what to do next. Quickly Dean was tugging on your arm, shouting at you. “We have to go, now!”

You followed him over to the dingy but the flames had spread there, stopping Dean in his tracks. He ran to the life raft and pulled the rip cord, tossing it over as you jumped in. When your head popped up, Dean was by your side, swimming over and climbing into it. He helped you up as you sat inside, watching the boats go under in a quick few minutes until it was just the two of you, miles out without a soul around.

“Fuck,” you breathed out, laying back and trying to calm down.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Yeah. You?” you asked.

“You rented a crappy boat it looks like,” he said. You started laughing, hearing him join in.

“Well, I guess I can let you slide for the whole trying to steal it thing,” you said as you continued to laugh.

“Seriously? You’re not going to turn me in?” he asked.

“I panicked for a second back there. You had my back. We’re good,” you said.

“Sorry I called you a bitch,” he said, trying to shake the water off of him.

“I’m sure you’re not the worst pirate in history,” you teased. “Bottom five though.”

“I won’t disagree with that,” he said, looking around at the open water. “You think we’ll be out here long?”

“We’re still in the bay. Coast guard will spot us in a few hours. Probably.”

A few hours was all day and into the early night. You and Dean were slowly freezing to death. 

“That’s it,” he said, climbing over to where you were, taking off his wet shirt and wrapping himself around you. “We got to keep each other warm.”

“I’m not taking off my shirt,” you said. “Oh fuck it,” you said, shedding it two seconds later and pushing up against Dean. 

“Ah,” you said in unison, feeling warmth for the first time in forever. 

“Good idea pirate boy,” you said, Dean chuckling against you. 

“Is this where I make some joke saying this is my booty. My cold as fuck booty,” he said, shivering again. You looked around and nodded over to the canopy pop up you hadn’t quite figured out before. But the both of you knew you wouldn’t make it through the night with that wind cutting over you.

“Let’s try...yes!” you shouted when it flung up, creating a protective barrier.

“You’re a fucking genius, Y/N,” said Dean, hugging you tightly as you took the moment to try and calm yourselves.

“Jack and Rose ain’t got nothing on us,” you said, Dean laughing again.

“So true,” he said. You were able to settle into a half-sleep, curling up into Dean when you heard a boat hours later. Dean was already scrambling up to open the barrier flap, a spotlight on you. “Thank God.”

“You’re my boyfriend,” you said, seeing his confusion. “If they ask, we were out here on a date. Ya know, you weren’t trying to steal from me.”

“Like I said, fucking genius,” said Dean.

You were glad you came up with that story because you were only asked to tell it about a thousand times to every coast guard officer on the boat. You were just glad to have a blanket around you. It was nearly daybreak by the time you were walking to your car, pulling Dean along with you like he’d come with you in the first place.

“We pulled that off well,” he said, moving your heater to blast the heat once you were inside.

“You need a ride home?” you asked. He nodded.

“Yeah a friend dropped me off,” he said as you pulled out and listened to the address he gave you. He was about an hour from the main town, not too far from where you lived, a classic car parked in front of his home out in the country. “Y/N? Can I make you breakfast or something to apologize for everything? I feel bad about...ya know.”

“Give me some dry clothes and you got a deal,” you said, parking the car and hoping out alongside him. 

His house was small but nice, cleaner than you expected. He was gone for a few minutes when he came back looking dry and warm, his skin flush from a hot shower.

“There’s plenty left. It’ll warm you up good,” said Dean.

“Just don’t peek,” you said, following him down the hall as he pointed out the bathroom.

“I won’t. There’s some fresh clothes too for you. You’re going to be swimming in them,” he said.

“Now that kind of swimming, I don’t mind at all,” you said, giving him a smile as you stepped inside. He pulled the door shut for you as you got in fast and moaned at the warmth. Damn he had good water pressure. You dried your hair after you slipped into one of his tee shirts and pairs of sweatpants, stepping out into the hall to be assaulted by the best smelling breakfast of your life.

“Feels great huh?” he said, serving you up a plate you ate hastily.

“Yeah. Now I’m exhausted though,” you said, staring out at your car, not wanting to drive.

“You can crash here. Take the bedroom. There’s a lock. I won’t bug you,” said Dean. You smiled as you glanced around his kitchen. 

“Why not?” you said, standing and stretching. “Well ya coming or not?”

“Me? No the bed’s for you,” he said.

“We’re starting over. You’re exhausted too, Dean and we both need some sleep. I trust you,” you said, waving him to follow.

“Thanks for the second chance,” he said. “I’m actually not the criminal mastermind you think I am.”

“Dean, have you ever stolen anything in your life?” you asked.

“I took my neighbor’s cupcake at his sixth birthday party once,” he said.

“Such a hardened criminal,” you teased. “Fresh start?”

“Sounds good to me.”

@baconlover001 @emilymorgan1994 @jensenackesl @captainemwinchester @imissyoualittlemoreeveryday @xfanqirlinq @anokhi07 @akshi8278 @fandom--shipper @xxwinchester-22xx

@zeusmyster @atc74 @aingealcethlenn @pillow223 @alilianamendez @dancingalone21 @smoothdogsgirl @docharleythegeekqueen @jaelami @roxyspearing @kickasscas67 @gallifreyansass @untitled39887 @charliebradbury1104 @quiddy-writes @arryn-nyxx @poukothenerd @feelmyroarrrr @mrsbatesmotel53 @idalinette @evyiione @jayankles @samisimportant @maddieburcham1 @demonic-meatball @hey-um-misha @flufy07 @its-not-a-tulpa @whit85-blog @mrswhozeewhatsis @extreme-supernatural-lover @spn-ficfanatic @deanwinchstcrs @starry-chaos

[samwinlover-blog]

Completely Soulless

Pairing: Sam x Reader  Characters: Sam, Reader, Dean  Warnings: violence, soulless!sam, swearing, all the angst Summary: Sam’s soulless and couldn’t care less about anything or anyone, including his long time girlfriend, the Reader. She’s at her wits end and doesn’t know how much longer she can put up with him.  Tag list: @amanda-teaches @myplaceofthingsilove@evyiione @mogaruke@aliensdeservebetter@27bmm@craving-cas @spnfanficpond​ @amanda-teaches  @myplaceofthingsilove  @spectaculicious@bambinovak @bambinovak@writingthingsisdifficult@padackles2010 @mamaredd123@milkymilky-cocopuff @iwantthedean@zeppo-in-a-trenchcoat @spntrista @d-s-winchester@just-another-busy-fangirl@winchesterprincessbride@waywardjoy@supernaturalyobsessed@whywhydoyouwantmetosaymyname@sandlee44@fangirl1802@kittenofdoomage @evyiione @winchestersmut@purgatoan@mogaruke @therewillbeblood @megansescape @taste-of-dean@leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid  @scarlet-soldier-in-an-impala@deathtonormalcy56@wildfirewinchester @notnaturalanahi@jensen-jarpad@impalaimagining@fangirlextraordinaire@itseverythingilike@jesspfly@lovekittykat21@mysteriouslyme81@mrswhozeewhatsis@aiaranradnay@supernatural-jackles@girl-next-door-writes@spnsasha@27bmm@spnfanficpond @amanda-teaches@myplaceofthingsilove@spectaculicious@bambinovak@writingthingsisdifficult@spn-imagines-to-feel@spn-ficfanatic@cleverdame@saxxxology@jensen-jarpad @keepcalmandcarryondean dancingpanda137

Sam had been soulless for weeks now. He was the complete opposite of the boy you once knew and loved; unfeeling, uncaring- everything the real Sam wasn’t. You hadn’t definitively broken up with him, but the both of you knew it was over, and only one of you cared. So there was this weird tension between you and him, this whisper of what your relationship once had been. Sometimes you’d trick yourself into believing he was the normal Sam. Like when you saw him researching a case, eyebrows furrowed the same way as before. But you knew there wasn’t anything but cold, unrelenting steel behind those beautiful eyes of his. 

Even the little things were different. He never smiled, never laughed- unless it was at someone’s expense-never joked or flirted. Not anymore at least. The two of you used to spend entire days just lying in bed together. Wrestling, cuddling, telling stories- you did it all together. Never getting enough of each other and never wanting those days to end, those were the happiest times of your life. But that was all ruined now. He was gone and had left you to compensate with this unfeeling shell of a person.  

You weren’t the type of person to roll over and accept the new Sam, you weren’t Dean. You were angry, rageful even. You hated seeing him everyday. You hated those few seconds when you forgot he wasn’t your Sam, he was soulless. You hated hunting with him and having to fend for yourself, because he couldn’t care less if you lived or died. You hated the way he looked at you, eyes filled with nothing but lust. He wanted you solely for your body, and would happily use and then discard you if you let him- you vowed never to let him. You hated the way he shamelessly flirted with you, his hands ghosting over your hips and upper thighs. And most of all, you hated arguing with him. The two of you were constantly bickering and fighting, much to Dean’s annoyance. Soulless Sam and you did not get along, to say the least. He often played dirty though, knowing exactly what to say to you. Exactly which insults hit the hardest.

The night you left, he had done exactly that. Mocked and taunted until you couldn’t take it anymore. You had left- abandoning him and Dean, and ended up regretting it every day since. 

You, Sam and Dean had just finished a hunt. A particularly nasty one involving ghouls feeding on families moving into a new apartment complex. Sam had been no joy to work with, as usual. He was impatient, frustrated, just wanting the hunt to be over. Instead of hunting to save people as he had before, you knew Sam only did it for the rush. Killing a monster, taking a life, it was a high even you were guilty of seeking out. And now that Sam was completely driven by his id, all he wanted to do was hunt and kill. 

You were covered in dirt and blood and already in a terrible mood. The small motel the three of you were crammed into coupled with the tension between you and Sam, the powder keg was bound to explode. 

“You seriously almost got us all killed back there, (Y/N)”, Sam addressed you, clearly annoyed. 

“Sorry I put innocent people’s lives before yours, I wouldn’t of have to if you just killed the damn ghouls.”, you retorted, not taking any of his shit tonight. 

“Both of you, cool it.”, Dean interluded, but neither of you heeded his warning. 

“I was outnumbered three to one, you’d have been dead if you were in my position”, Sam pressed on, your face flushed with anger.

“I definitely wouldn’t have because I know a knife from a god damn lamp”, you were yelling now. Hours before, Sam had been cornered by the three ghouls while you and Dean untied and freed the people they’d been holding captive. He stupidly let go of his knife and it was sent flying across the room, he improvised and used the nearest table lighting as a weapon instead. That mistake nearly cost all of your lives, and you weren’t about to let him forget it. 

Sam all but growled in your direction, nose curled up in a snarl and hands balled into fists. 

“You and your god damn feelings, always getting in the way”, he yelled back. 

“My ‘god damn feelings’,” you said, mocking his own voice, “are the only reason you’re still alive!!” 

You were referring to the countless times you’d made the hard decision in order to save his life. He’d always done the same for you too, putting you above others and fighting tooth and nail to save you. But that was before he lost his soul, this Sam wouldn’t bat an eye if you were gutted right in front of him. 

“Please, you know I don’t need you. I never needed you”, Sam yelled again, slightly smiling at the hurt look he saw flash on your face. 

“Shut the hell up, Sam, I’m not in the mood”, you replied while turning your heel to leave, the fight gone from your voice.  

But he saw this, saw how his words impacted you. So he just kept going, “I mean seriously, what was I thinking. I wasted years of my life with you. I mean yeah, you were okay in bed, but all the lovey-dovey crap. It was just that- crap”, he yelled, voice hoarse and unforgiving. 

“Sammy, shut the hell up and walk away”, Dean cut him off when he saw you weren’t going to. 

His insults were getting to you. You’d become immune to almost anything Sam said at this point; but when he insulted your relationship, the people you’d been before he lost his soul, it stung every time. Of course he knew this, and since he had no conscious telling him to stop, he just pressed on. 

“Dean stay out of this, I’m not finished.”, you braced yourself, wishing the motel was more than one room so you could get away from him. 

“I can see you hate me, (Y/N). I see you still have this fantasy that I’ll snap out of it or something- magically become the person I was before. But I don’t want to be him again, I wont do it. He was weak and pathetic.”, he emphasized the insults hurled at his old self, just to spite you. And with a rush of anger you found your fist connecting with his jaw. You heard a loud crunch and knew you had hit your target. 

Sam was on you in an instant, hands at your throat and pressing you against the wall. 

“Sam! Hey!”, Dean’s voice echoed off the dingy walls of the motel. He was clawing at his brother fiercely, so were you. But you weren’t trying to get Sam off of you, you were trying to hurt him back. You punched his cheeks, his lip, his eyes. You found bruises and cuts quickly forming all over his face. But his hands were still around your throat, squeezing hard. 

With a grunt and a yell, Dean finally managed to get Sam off you. You began gasping and grabbing your neck, breathing deeply and still not getting enough oxygen. Minutes later, when the burn had almost left your lungs and Sam had gotten an icepack for his face, you decided you were going to leave. 

“What the hell you two?! Can’t you get along for one god damn day, I mean come on”, Dean yelled at both you and Sam. But you didn’t care, his words barely registered to you, you’d already made up your mind. 

Yes, it would kill you to leave Dean. But you couldn’t do it anymore. You couldn’t deal with seeing the man you’d once loved so, so deeply become this soulless monster. You knew you were going to hate yourself for giving up when Sam had never given up on you. But you also knew you were at your breaking point.  

You decided to tell Dean first, Sam wouldn’t care. 

“Dean,” you said, lips pursed and arms crossed. His eyebrows pressed together, he could read you like a book and knew what you were planning on doing. 

“Tonight?”, he asked. The look on his face almost broke your heart. He was so sad for you, so sad for what Sam had become and for what you’d become from seeing him like that everyday. You also saw betrayal, that was the worst part. Although he’d never admit it, you knew he felt abandoned. Which you were, abandoning him, and you’d hate yourself for it. 

You nodded, “Dean I can’t anymore, I...I can’t”, you let out a breath. 

“Okay, come here, kid”, he pulled you into a hug. Years of love and friendship were wrapped into the embrace, all the good and the bad and the ugly of your time on the road together. You felt him choking back tears, but you couldn’t hold back your own. They came down hot and heavy as you buried your face into his shoulder- knowing you were going to miss him terribly. 

About 15 minutes later, you and Dean had packed your belongings. You had decided to try one last time with Sam, even though you knew it was useless. 

“Sam, I’m leaving.”, you turned towards him, searching desperately for any hint of emotion in his face.

You found none as he responded, “Okay.” 

And that was the moment it happened, when your heart really cleaved in two. He couldn’t care less, and you didn’t know why you ever expected him to. 

“I’m sorry, Sam I can’t do it anymore. I love you, and I know that word means nothing to you right now. But if you ever get your emotions back, ever get your soul back.....” your voice trailed off into a weak sob, “Let me know, and I’ll come running, I promise.” 

But Sam just shrugged, promising in return that it would never happen.