#okay you have to ignore my messy room I’ve been in pain the past 2 days from horrendous sunburn (lol)

[elysiumcalled]

BRUCE 🦈

[openheartthot]

Holding On

Part 1: The Inevitable | Part 2: Selfish | Part 3: Letting Go

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x f!MC (Camille Prescott)

Word Count: 2,551

Warnings: None that I can think of. 

Summary: Ethan can’t live without her. 

***

Ahh guys it’s been so long omg. I know I’ve missed reading a lot of fics but I swear once finals are over I’m gonna go back and harass everyone with my reblogs lmao. This is sort of all over the place, but I figured I’ve been wallowing in my writer’s block long enough! 

Ethan watches her all night.

She’s radiant in a wine-colored dress, her perfectly coiffed golden hair a far cry from the messy ponytails and buns that she used to sport around Edenbrook. 

It’s hard to believe that this is the same woman who’d once started every morning tangled in his bedsheets, who’d held his hand across the table in Derry Roasters.

The same woman who once tried to tell him she loved him in an airport, before he stopped her. 

Pain battles with pride in the pit of his stomach as he watches her flit around the hotel ballroom. She’s completely in her element as she rubs elbows with the elite of West Coast medicine. No longer is she the bright-eyed young intern by his side. 

It shouldn’t come as a surprise, Ethan always knew she’d be great.

And yet...he can’t help but worry that he might be too late. 

Her dress is just a bit risqué for a medical conference, but none of the other doctors or representatives seem to mind. They are completely enraptured by her wide smiles and sharp wit. Especially the young, sandy-haired doctor all but glued to her side. Ethan doesn’t miss the way his hand alights on her waist every now and then, nor the wonderstruck way he gazes at her. 

Jealousy roils in Ethan’s stomach, completely unwarranted. He has no claim on her, not anymore.

Ethan turns bitterly back to his scotch, determined to drown his sorrows in the amber liquid before him. One more drink at the bar, and then he’ll leave to continue his pity party upstairs in the privacy of his hotel room. There’s no point in torturing himself with the sight of her with another man. 

He knocks back his drink, and another one appears in front of him almost instantly, though he hasn’t ordered one. 

For a moment, he’s confused. 

But only for a moment. 

He catches a whiff of her perfume before any of his other senses realize she’s behind him. He breathes in deeply, savoring the gentle floral scent that lingered on his pillow long after she left for the last time. 

“Hell of a speech,” Ethan says into the drink she bought him. He can’t look at her-- he’s scared of what he might say if he gets a glimpse of those green eyes.

He’s broken a lot of his own rules when it comes to Camille, but he won’t make a move on a woman in a relationship. No matter how badly he wants to punch her companion in the jaw. 

“I wasn’t expecting you to be here. You hate conventions.” 

Ethan grits his teeth against the onslaught of emotions triggered by that voice. That soft, silvery voice that he used to have the pleasure of hearing every day. 

God, how he took her for granted back then. 

“To your first keynote? I wouldn’t miss it.” Ethan says, fighting to keep his voice even. 

It’s true. Ethan avoids conventions like the plague, but when he heard Camille was to be the keynote speaker of a conference held in her new home city of San Francisco, he’d booked a flight without a second thought. 

He’s been telling himself it is just to celebrate her success as a former mentor, but he can no longer pretend that he doesn’t have ulterior motives. That he didn’t want to know if she’d come alone, or on the arm of some well-built pretty boy--

“The blonde Clark Kent? Who’s he?” Ethan asks, not entirely on purpose. The scotch has loosened his tongue more than he realized. 

“Adam is... just a colleague.” Camille says, and then Ethan catches a glimpse of red silk and blonde hair in his periphery as she sinks onto the barstool beside him.

He can’t ignore the flicker of hope ignited by her words, but then reality comes crashing back in. They live on opposite sides of the country. He told her to leave. 

“I was your colleague too, once.” Ethan says, immediately wishing the words didn’t sound so resentful. 

“Once.” Camille muses in agreement, and Ethan can’t help but wonder if the bittersweet reel of their relationship plays on a perpetual loop in her mind the way it does in his. 

“So, you aren’t seeing anyone?” Ethan can’t help but ask, unable to shake the growing tingle of hope. 

“No.” Camille says softly, “I don’t know if I’m ready for anything serious.” She stares down at the bar, unaware of the physical ache that the words cause in Ethan’s chest. The cautious tone of her voice hurts more than he cares to admit.  

His Camille, the one who boldly strode past all of the boundaries that he had so painstakingly created, would never be so hesitant when it came to love. 

She’s supposed to be foolish, and headstrong, and impulsive...and it’s Ethan’s fault that she isn’t any of those things anymore. 

Ethan takes another swallow of scotch, for courage, before he turns to face her. 

He had watched her during her speech, of course, and from afar as she made her rounds through the room, but seeing her up-close is almost more than he can handle. 

Ethan meets her eyes, and for a minute, he swears he forgets how to breathe. The rest of the room fades away, and it feels like all that exists is him and her. All he can see through his tunneling vision are those green eyes. 

Those eyes bring him back to Miami, to that first passion-fueled kiss on a balcony under the light of a thousand stars, both of their inhibitions clouded with wine. 

Those eyes bring him back to long nights spent in the diagnostics office, toiling over a case; to her fingers laced in his under the table; to a million little moments shared between the two of them over the course of their relationship, both professional and romantic. 

“Dance with me.” Ethan says. He can’t think of a single other thing besides encircling Camille in his arms and holding her close, even if it’s only for the duration of a song. 

“...Okay.” Camille agrees after a moment, although Ethan isn’t sure whether it’s out of pity, or because, like his, her hands are burning with the need to touch him. 

She follows him to the dance floor, and when she steps into his arms, Ethan can’t stop his eyes from watering. He is convinced there is nothing more right than Camille against his chest, the way her arms slide around his neck, the way that his hands know the curve of her waist. 

“I want you.” Ethan murmurs. He can’t help it, with her in his arms, it’s almost like no time has passed at all. 

Camille stiffens, her arms tensing where they rest against his shoulders. Her gaze flicks to the elevators, and she swallows hard before looking away. 

“You know I’m not interested in being a casual hookup anymore.” 

Ethan’s chest tightens, knowing that he was the one that made her feel cheap, disposable. Even so, his own hurt swells. 

“There was nothing casual about the nights we spent together, not for me.” Ethan says curtly, stung by her implication. 

“For me either.” Camille says in exasperation. “But…” 

“I want to be with you.” Ethan says, the words welcome on his tongue after spending so long pretending that he didn’t miss her. Pretending that it didn’t bother him knowing that Camille was building a new life on the other side of the country. A life without him. 

“Stop it.” Camille falters, missing a step and almost losing her balance. Ethan pulls her securely against his chest, but she avoids his gaze. “Missing me isn’t the same thing as wanting to be with me.” 

“I know,” Ethan insists, refusing to back down. 

“Since you left Boston, I’ve been a shell of a man, living only for your visits. And when those stopped…” He takes a deep breath. “I can’t live without you, Camille, I need you.” 

“That’s not healthy.” Camille snaps, her expression knitting into a scowl. “And you were the one who told me to move in the first place!” 

“I was, and I stand by that. It was the right decision for your career.” Ethan counters reflexively before his voice drops, husky with emotion. “Whether it’s healthy or not, I don’t want to be without you. Not for another second.” 

He dips his head, just enough to let his jaw brush against her temple. 

Camille lets out a tiny sniff, and when he pulls back to meet her eyes, he finds them shimmering with tears. 

“Ethan…” Her lips part on his name, her eyes filled with a yearning so deep that Ethan instinctively tightens his hold on her, his fingers tracing the notches of her spine. 

Slowly, tentatively, she relaxes into him, her head resting on his chest just above his beating heart. Ethan freezes, terrified that the slightest movement will scare her away. 

“I want that, too.”

He doesn’t waste another second. He tilts her chin up, and then her hands are in his hair, tugging him roughly down until his mouth meets hers. The kiss is desperate and consuming, her hands roving over his back and chest while Ethan traces patterns on the exposed skin of her back. 

“I’ve missed this.” Ethan manages before crushing his mouth back to hers. “I’ve missed you.” 

Camille sighs in agreement, pulling him close and melding her body against his until it’s hard to tell where his body ends and hers begins. 

Her hips rock boldly against him, and Ethan bites back a groan, all too aware that they’re still in the middle of a very public dance floor. 

As their frantic kiss slows to gentle brushes of his lips against hers, Ethan smooths his hands over her back, holding her as tightly as he dares. He gazes down at her in amazement, and she stares back, her eyes alight with joy and promise. 

“Is that a yes, then? To being with me?” Ethan asks, trying to keep his giddiness at bay. He doesn’t deserve this woman, not even a little, but if she’ll have him... The rising tide of his hope is an almost overwhelming warmth in his chest. 

“I…” Camille’s voice trails off, and the light in her eyes extinguishes. She pulls back, not quite out of his embrace, but enough for the distance between them to feel insurmountable. 

Ethan closes his eyes, feeling a fresh wave of despair wash over him. He’s too late, too much time has passed. Whatever they once had is unsalvageable. He had known that it was a longshot, but he knows he couldn’t live with himself if he hadn’t at least tried. 

“I want to say yes, I really do.” Camille says, shaking her head despondently. “But I can’t move back to Boston. I have a life in San Francisco, now. I have an apartment with a great view of the Bay, and my career is finally taking off… You don’t get to follow me and ask me to give all of that up, it’s not fair.” 

She looks up at him, restrained hope in her eyes, as if she’s waiting for Ethan to make a grand gesture, to convince her that he’s worth another chance. 

“Does your apartment allow dogs?” Ethan asks instead. 

Camille looks away, and he can see the disappointment wash over her face. Disappointment in him, for once again choosing to take the path of least resistance, and once again refusing to fight for her. 

“The song’s over, and I’m not interested in making small-talk about my apartment with you. I should go.” She tries to pull back, but Ethan doesn’t release her, maintaining a firm but gentle grip on her waist. 

“It’s not small-talk. You should know I hate that more than anyone.” Ethan says, his fingers pressing insistently against her waist, the smooth fabric of her dress bunching beneath his fingertips. 

“I need to know if your apartment allows dogs. I need to know if I can have Alan put Jenner on the first flight out to San Francisco tomorrow morning, or if I have to wait until we find a new place.” 

Camille’s eyes search his face with obvious confusion. 

“What? I don’t… Jenner?” Camille stammers for a moment as she collects her thoughts, her hands absentmindedly resting on his chest. Ethan feels his heart skip at the casual intimacy of her fingers toying with his lapels. “You want to move out to San Francisco?” 

“Yes.” Ethan says shortly. “When I said I didn’t want to leave your side, I meant it.”  

“Ethan, we’ve been over this. If one of us gives up our career for the other we’ll just end up resenting each other. You’ve been working at Edenbrook for over a decade, I can’t let you give it up for me.” 

“Edenbrook is…wonderful. I have enjoyed working there, but at the end of the day it’s just a job. When I came home to an empty apartment at the end of the day, it wasn’t Edenbrook I was thinking about, Camille, it was you.” 

“But you love Edenbrook.” Camille says uncertainly, her eyes begging for an explanation. 

“I like Edenbrook, most assuredly.” Ethan cups her face in his hands, running his thumbs over her smooth skin. “But I love you.” 

“You…love me?” Camille asks, her green eyes gazing up at him, starry with hope. Her cheeks are flushed pink, and Ethan is sure he’s never seen her look more beautiful. 

“I do.” he murmurs, unwilling-- unable to look away from her awed expression. 

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to hear you say that.” Camille whispers back, a luminous smile growing on her face. 

“Camille, I’ve been a complete fool, I know that. But I have to know… if you still…” Ethan stumbles over his words, his grip on her tightening in thinly veiled desperation. 

“If I still love you back?” she prompts, her light and teasing tone a far cry from her earlier anguish.

Ethan nods, the agony of not knowing threatening to consume him altogether. 

Camille’s expression softens, and her fingers drift to his face, tenderly tracing the contour of his cheekbone.

“Of course I do. How could I not?” she asks with a soft laugh, lifting one shoulder in a bashful shrug that is entirely too alluring. His eyes trail over her exposed collarbone. 

Ethan can’t wait to take her to his suite upstairs and find out if the skin under that red dress is as sweet as he remembers. But there will be plenty of time for that later, after he hears the three words that have been haunting him ever since she boarded that plane. 

“Say it. Please.” Ethan presses his forehead to hers, unbridled joy threatening to bring him to his knees. There are few scenarios that involve the great Ethan Ramsey being reduced to begging, and every last one centers around the gorgeous, brilliant woman in front of him. 

“I love you, too.” 

This time, she pushes herself onto her tiptoes to close the distance beteen them. And when their lips meet, Ethan knows that he has made the right decision. Edenbrook, Boston, he can take or leave all of it, as long as he has her. 

***

Tagging separately since I have no idea if tumblr will decide to work or not :)

[older-brother-kit]

The Sibling Matchmakers Club ch. 5

It’s been quite a while (sorry about that, there were things irl that were happening) but I’m back with chapter 5! Here’s the link for the chapter on ao3, and the link for chapter 1 on both tumblr and on ao3. Please let me know what you think on a reblog or a comment!! <3

Chapter 5: Together Once Again

Tessa Gray couldn’t stop smiling. James was finally coming back after what felt like forever, even though in reality it had been around a month. Tessa was sitting at the gate James would soon be walking out of, and she couldn’t keep her eyes off the doors. She’d never gone so long without seeing her son before. 

James wasn’t the only one she’d gone a long time without seeing. Tessa used to try not to think about it because she’d tear up every time, but James actually wasn’t her only child. A long time ago, there had been three: James, Lucie, and Mina. When James and Lucie were 3 and Mina was almost 2, Tessa had gotten divorced and the children had all been split up. They had agreed not to tell the kids about each other and just raise them separately, thinking it was the best option.

Tessa regretted it immediately after signing the paperwork. 

She thought about Lucie and Mina all the time. Her daughters, her precious daughters. What were they like now? Lucie used to be such a curious baby, always pointing out new things and trying to fit everything she could into her mouth. Mina used to constantly smile and giggle, and she loved grabbing her older siblings’ fingers. Every time they called her Mommy or Mama, Tessa’s heart would burst with happiness. 

She would never get to hear them call her Mom again. It was a rough thing to remember, and Tessa’s smile slowly faded. She wouldn’t even know how to contact their fathers now, after the messy break up they’d had. If she could go back in time and change it she would, but it was far too late. I hope they’re happy and healthy, wherever they are. It wasn’t her first time wishing for such a thing.

Her train of thought was put on hold when people started to walk out of the door after getting off the plane, and Tessa shot up from her seat. She carefully looked through the growing crowd, searching for a young boy with curly hair. “James,” she called out when she couldn’t find him. “Jamie?”

“Mom?” a voice said, and Tessa turned around.

She felt her heart stop in her chest. There was a young girl who looked to be the same age as James, with wavy brown hair and light blue eyes. Blue eyes, Tessa thought. Will’s eyes. A girl with Will’s blue eyes and Tessa’s own brown hair just called her Mom.

“Mom?” the girl said again, looking up at her with a tight grip on her suitcase. “I’m-”

“Lucie?” Tessa whispered. There was only one person it could possibly be. “Is that you?”

The girl’s eyes widened. “Yes,” she breathed. “I’m Lucie, Lucie Herondale.” She raised a shaky hand towards Tessa. “Can I-”

Tessa moved quicker than she ever had before, wrapping her daughter up in a tight hug. “Lucie, I’ve missed you,” Tessa said, unable to stop the tears rolling down her cheeks. She couldn’t believe she was holding the daughter she hadn’t seen in nine years. “It’s been so long. I’m sorry, we never should’ve been separated.” 

“Mom,” Lucie cried, and Tessa could feel the girl’s tears on her shirt. “I’ve always wanted to meet you.”

“I thought about you all the time,” Tessa admitted softly. “You and… Hold on.” She paused and carefully stepped away from Lucie, confused. “How did this happen? Where’s James? How much do you know?”

Lucie wiped at her eyes and smiled. “James and I met at camp. Mina, too.”

“Mina?” Tessa gasped, feeling the tears coming back. “My Mina? Is she alright?”

“She is.” Lucie said, nodding enthusiastically. “She’s really nice and I’m happy we found out we’re sisters. James is really cool too, even if we didn’t get along at first. I can’t believe I have a twin!”

“I’m glad,” Tessa said, before hugging her daughter once more. “I’m so glad you’re all healthy and happy. I have no idea how you three ended up at the same camp and figured this out. I especially have no idea how you managed to switch flights,” Lucie gulped at that, “but I love you and I’m so happy to see you again.”

Lucie nodded into Tessa’s shirt. “Papa is great, but I’m happy that I have a mom and another dad. I’ve always wondered about you.”

Tessa clung to her daughter tighter. “I think about you all the time. I’ve always hoped you and Will were doing okay.”

She couldn’t believe this was happening. Tessa had been thinking about her other two children earlier, but she never would have guessed that one of them would show up. She missed James, and she desperately wanted to see Mina again now too. If she could see all of them in a room together, laughing and smiling, Tessa would be the happiest mother in the entire world. 

She was looking forward to it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Will Herondale couldn’t sit still, so he was standing. Not that he could stand still either. 

He was so excited to see Lucie that he couldn’t stop bouncing on the balls of his feet. Before, he’d been pacing around the gate entrance and checking his phone for the time every five minutes. The passengers were all coming out now, and Will was scanning the crowd to look for his daughter.

“Lucie!” Will yelled out, smiling at the thought of seeing his daughter again. 

“Hello,” a soft voice said from behind him, and Will turned around to see a young girl who must’ve been a little younger than Lucie. She had black hair put up in two pigtails, and dark brown eyes. “Are you Will Herondale?”

“Yes,” Will answered slowly. “Who-” Will stopped after getting another good look at her face. No… There was no way it could be her. Yet at the same time, the girl looked an awful lot like Jem Carstairs and Tessa Gray.

“I don’t know if you remember me or not,” the girl started shyly, “But I’m Mina, Mina Carstairs.” 

Will couldn’t look away. “Mina,” he whispered. “How could I ever forget you?” He quickly bent down and wrapped his daughter up in a bone-crushing hug. “Mina,” he said again into her hair. “I never thought I’d see you again.”

Mina hugged back just as tight. “Is it okay if I call you Papa like Lucie does?” she asked softly. 

Will laughed, and took that moment to rub the tears from his eyes. He would admit to crying --he’d missed Mina dearly. “Of course you can,” he said. “That’s what you did when you were a baby. We’re not biologically related, but you’re still my daughter too. That’s how we always planned on raising you and the others.”

There was a moment of comfortable silence where neither of them let go of each other, but eventually Mina separated them. “James is with Dad,” she told him, smiling. “And Lucie is with Mom.” 

“I wondered,” Will said, and laughed again. “I have no idea how all this happened, but if anyone could pull this off it would be you three. I’m guessing you met at camp?”

Mina nodded. “Lucie was my roommate,” she stated, then paused. “James and I met in the cafeteria on the first day, but, well.” Mina smiled, a hint of mischief in her eyes. She had Jem’s eyes but Tessa’s smile, and it made Will’s heart ache. “We sort of got into a prank war. I may or may not have started it.”

“Oh?” Will asked, delighted. “Truly a girl after my own heart. You must take after me; I was undefeated at prank wars, back in the day.”

Mina took his hand, and he grabbed her suitcase with the hand not occupied. Together, they started walking out of the gate area. “My brother taught me a lot of pranks, you’d love him.” Mina said, swinging their hands slightly.

Will snapped his head to her direction. “James?” he beamed. “How is he, is he doing well?” He had raised Lucie and reunited with Mina, but Will hadn’t seen James in a very long time. Will had often thought about James and Mina and wondered how they were doing. He’d missed them both very much, and couldn’t believe he was seeing Lucie again after so long. It was a huge relief that his other children seemed to be doing well.

Mina’s eyes widened. “Oh. I guess you wouldn’t know.”

After hearing her words, Will felt like someone had doused him in ice cold water. His heart beat faster as he imagined a thousand different things that could have possibly happened to his son, all bad. “Is he okay?” he asked, trying to keep calm.

“No, not like that!” Mina waved her arm frantically, as if to wipe away the scared look that must’ve shown on Will’s face. “It’s just that, James isn’t my only brother. I was actually talking about my older brother, Kit.”

Will frowned. “Older brother?” he asked. It would’ve made sense if Mina had said younger brother, since Jem could have always gotten together with someone else after the divorce and had another child. Will ignored the pain his heart felt when imagining Jem with someone else. A child older than Mina wouldn’t make sense however, since Jem hadn’t been with anyone before Will and Tessa. They had been Jem’s first relationship. First and only, Will’s mind reminded him. It was supposed to be first and only. It was supposed to be forever.

“Kit is adopted,” Mina clarified, and Will let out a sigh of relief. Not that he was relieved Jem hadn’t married and had a child with someone else or anything. If Jem married someone else, it wouldn’t be any of my business, Will told himself. “Dad knew Kit’s mom a long time ago, and when Kit’s parents died Dad took him in even though he had never even met Kit before.”

“That makes sense,” Will murmured, smiling. “Jem would do that. He’s always been the kindest person I’ve ever known.” 

“He always wants to help people,” Mina agreed, giving him a quick look that he couldn’t interpret. 

The two of them eventually made their way out of the airport, but Will couldn’t stop thinking of his past loves and their children. Lucie was with her mother and James was with his other father, but the three of them would have to be switched back. Will would finally see his family all in one room and complete again, after all those years. Thinking about it made him anxious and excited at the same time. 

He couldn’t wait.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Jem Carstairs held back a laugh, knowing that if he did laugh then Kit would be offended. They were currently waiting in the airport for Mina to get off her flight, and Kit wouldn’t stop tapping his feet or messing with his hands. Jem himself wasn’t as fidgety, but he did miss his daughter and couldn’t wait to see her. He knew Kit would be too embarrassed to directly tell Mina that he missed her, but his nervous ticks while waiting for her gave him away. It always amused Jem, when Kit tried to hide the feelings that were so obviously exposed by his actions.

“Oh, they’re coming!” Kit exclaimed, pointing to the now open doors where people were rushing into the airport after getting off the plane. Both Jem and Kit quickly stood up and started looking for Mina. 

A lot had happened since Mina had left for camp. One of Jem’s coworkers retired, and Jem had to pick up a lot more patients than usual when the hospital had trouble replacing him. He’d been busy throughout the time Mina had been gone, as they’d only found a good replacement a few days back. So Jem had spent more time at the hospital, though of course he went home and spent almost all of the time he wasn’t working with Kit.

There had also been a new, unexpected development: Jem now had a girlfriend, Zara Dearborn. Zara was hired as a nurse a couple months ago, and they’d often work together. She was a smart woman with great wit, and she was always so kind to her patients and to him. When Zara asked him out, he couldn’t say no. He had finally felt comfortable introducing her to Kit and having her over at the house in the past few weeks, and Kit seemed to have a neutral opinion on her. Jem had hoped for a more positive reaction, but he knew that if Zara and Kit just spent more time together, they’d grow to like each other.

Jem hadn’t told Mina about Zara yet. He figured that it would be best to talk to his daughter about his girlfriend in person, rather than over the phone. Today was a family day that Jem wanted to spend with his children only, but he would introduce them soon. He hoped that Mina and Zara would get along. As much as he liked Zara --and he did, so much that recently he was considering getting an engagement ring-- his children would always matter more to him, and that was final.

“Excuse me,” a voice said, and a young boy walked up to them. He had curly black hair, gray eyes that looked almost gold in the light, and looked to be a little older than Mina. “Are you the Carstairs family?”

Jem recognized him instantly.

“Yeah,” Kit answered, raising an eyebrow. “Do you know us?”

“James,” Jem breathed out, barely believing what was right in front of his eyes. “Jamie. Is that you?”

Kit looked between them, alarmed. “Uh, I’m not sure what I’m missing here and why both of you suddenly look like you're going to cry, but an explanation would be nice.”

“Dad,” James called with a shaky voice, and he stepped forward. Jem stepped closer as well, and in no time at all he was holding the son he hadn’t seen in so long. He could barely believe this was happening.

It had been many years since Jem had last seen his other son, and James had grown up to look a lot like Will Herondale with Tessa Gray’s eyes. Jem couldn’t help but love him more than ever before. He had no idea how James was here instead of Mina or how they’d figured out the truth in the first place, but Jem wasn’t complaining. He missed Mina, but it felt like a lifetime since he’d last seen James. Jem thought of Lucie, and if she was also involved in this somehow. He hadn’t seen Lucie in just as long, and he missed his other daughter. 

James slowly let go of him, bringing his head up from where it had been buried in his dad’s shirt. His hands were trembling. “I didn’t know if you remembered me or not,” he whispered, wiping at his eyes.

Jem crouched down so that they were eye level, resting a hand on his son’s shoulder. “I would never forget you,” he told him honestly, his eyes tearing up. After all these years, he still thought of James and Lucie often. It wasn’t possible for him to forget and stop missing his own children. “And I never stopped loving you, either.”

James looked like he was going to cry again, but instead pulled Jem in for another hug. Looking over his shoulder, Jem locked eyes with Kit, who was looking back at him with wide eyes.

“Dad,” Kit said, the bewilderment clear in his voice. “Did you have a secret kid or something? Though if he’s named after you it couldn’t have been secret.” He paused, thinking out loud at this point. “I mean I guess James is a common enough name, it could be coincidence. He is your son, right? I’m assuming because he called you dad which didn’t seem to surprise you, and you seem to know him, but if this is just some huge misunderstanding-”

“Kit,” Jem interrupted, amused. He and James let go of each other, and Jem stood up straight. “He’s my son. Mina’s other parents and I, we had two other children aside from Mina.”

“The three of us met at camp,” James explained, looking happy to clear things up. “We figured out we were all siblings and switched flights. Lucie is with Mom in New York, and Mina is with Papa in London.”

“Switched flights?” Jem asked, surprised. “How did you manage that?”

“You’re better off not knowing.” James said after a slight pause, and avoided eye contact. Jem raised an eyebrow but didn’t ask any other questions on the topic.

“Huh,” Kit said.

“Lucie,” Jem said. “It’s been so long. How is she, is she doing okay? Are you doing okay?” Jem was desperate to know that his other children were alright, that they grew up happy and healthy.

“I’m good! And Lucie, she’s good too. She’s very…” James hesitated, likely searching for a good descriptor. “Excitable.” He said the word slowly, as if it was a word from a book that he’d read but never actually said out loud before.

Jem laughed. “She sounds like Will at that age.”

Kit blinked. “Will?” 

“Will Herondale and Tessa Gray, Mina’s other parents,” Jem replied, answering the unasked question. “They’re also the other parents of James here, and Lucie who you’ve yet to meet.”

“What happens now?” Kit asked. “We have to get everyone back together eventually, right?”

Jem wondered how that meeting would go. He hadn’t seen Will and Tessa in so long, but he had never forgotten them. There were many years when Jem thought that he’d never be able to fall in love with anyone else. Zara wasn’t the first person to ask him out, but Jem had always said no before. No relationship could ever compare to what he’d once had, and it took a while for Jem to realize that that was okay. When Zara had asked him out on a date, Jem decided to say yes, and he didn’t regret it. He really did love Zara, and they were happy, but he couldn’t help but wonder if old feelings would resurface if he saw Will and Tessa again. He decided to save those thoughts for later. 

There were James, Mina, and Lucie to think about. They would all have to meet up to switch back eventually, but Jem liked to focus on the part where he’d be able to see all of his children, including Kit, together. He’d missed James so much, he wanted to see Mina after being separated, and he ached to see Lucie again. The idea of all three of his younger children interacting with Kit also made him happy.

Jem preferred to focus on the positive side of things, and he couldn’t wait to see all of his children happy and together.

-----

It’s been so long that this tag list might not be accurate and people probably changed their usernames, so let me know if you’re name isn’t here and you wanted to be added to the list!

Tag List: @julieandthefandoms @zfoxdraws @thomaslightwood @thechangeling @livia-dovehallow @themostawesomehuman @hands-dripping-ink @panicatwallmaria @immortal-enemies  @bookishgeekygirl @lightlady599 @biablackthorn @haleylightwood @celias @honorablescythecurie

[gumnut-logic]

Callisto (Voyage - Bit 3)

Prologue Incident - Bit 1 | Bit 2 Fallout - Bit 1 | Bit 2 | Bit 3 Voyage - Bit 1 | Bit 2 | Bit 3

This has settled down to a once a week post at the moment. I am still writing, but I’ve been writing the Prologue because I realised that I hadn’t written enough backstory to support the main story. So expect 4000-odd words of Jeff landing on Mars in the near future.

In the meantime, here is a little terrible twos being good bros.

As always, many, many thanks to @tsarinatorment​ @scribbles97​ and @janetm74​ for all their patient help. I’ve been a pain lately, so they have suffered greatly for my fic :D

I hope you enjoy this last bit of Part Two.

-o-o-o-

Gordon sat back and watched his father and Virgil leave the cockpit. John followed a moment later.

Gordon wasn’t hungry, not by a long shot. His stomach was still protesting the jump and he was quite happy staying where he was.

He wasn’t surprised that Scott, after reassuring himself that Alan was okay monitoring the course correction, disappeared after John. Gordon did not want to be in the room when that encounter happened. Not that he didn’t have his own beef with the astronaut over this. He couldn’t believe John would support their father going into space. John, of all people knew the health ramifications.

Speaking of which…

He unbuckled and pushed off his chair in the direction of his father’s chair. Formerly, his chair. He was of two minds regarding that fact, but considering he didn’t think Dad should even be in space, where he sat was of the least importance.

He hooked his foot around the base of the seat and pulled himself in beside his little brother.

Gordon’s eyes danced over the flight controls. “How’s it going?”

Alan glanced at him. “Computer is performing perfectly. We’ll stop to drop the buoy in about twenty-five minutes.” A raised eyebrow. “How’s the tummy?” And yes, there was a small smirk accompanying that.

“It’s fine.” As if to penalise him for lying to his little brother, his gut twisted.

Gordon let out a groan.

The smirk turned to a worried frown. “You sure you’re okay.”

He grunted at his brother. “I’ll live.” And he remembered that there were four more jumps there and likely five more on the way back. “Maybe.”

“Get Virg to drug you up. You’ll enjoy it more.”

‘Enjoy’ was rarely in the same sentence as ‘space’ in Gordon’s book. “Might do that.” Puking in zero-g was just messy and not to mention gross. “How come you aren’t feeling it?”

Alan shrugged. “Been playing with g-forces since I was a kid? This isn’t much different.”

Gordon grunted at him again.

They sat there together for a moment or two. There was something about hanging with his little brother that was different from hanging with his older brothers. More relaxed maybe, or just…different.

“Not often my ‘bird carries yours. This has to be only the second time.”

Gordon blinked. “Yeah? I think so. Not too many oceans in space.”

“Tell that to the Jupiter system.”

Space oceans were a thing. After the mad dash that was their trip to Europa, Gordon had made a point of reading up on all the extra-terrestrial oceans he could find.

Earth, of course, was the only body in the solar system with surface liquid water. There were buckets of ice on many of the other planets and moons, but none of that interested the aquanaut. He preferred his water well above zero degrees celsius.

Europa had been fascinating and he was still basking in the accolades from the scientific paper that he, Alan and his heroes, the Pendergasts, had jointly written. Readings from Four’s scanners had recorded everything and Earth’s scientific compliment were still going nuts years later. Tracy Industries had helped fund a proper scientific expedition to the moon.

Hmm, come to think of it, they should probably drop in and say hi on the way back. Would be interesting to catch up with Gwen and her team in person instead of over holovid.

Would be hilarious to knock on their door as a surprise. Hi, we were just in the area…

He grinned.

“What are you up to?” Alan was eyeing him suspiciously.

Gordon snorted. “Just thinking we should drop in on the Europa Extra-terrestrial Marine Expedition on the way back. I owe Gwen a jump-scare.”

His brother tilted his head, obviously calculating the possibility. “Could do. You should speak to Scott.”

That dragged him back to reality. “I guess it depends on Dad.”

Blue eyes darted in his direction. “Dad will be okay. You know that, don’t you?”

Gordon found he didn’t have the energy to get angry. “How can you know that?”

“I don’t.” Alan went quiet a moment. “But then how do you think I manage each time you go out on a mission?”

The aquanaut stared at him. “What?”

“Well, your health has never been and never will be one hundred percent, yet you still dart down to the bottom of the ocean, jump off high places and do things just like the rest of us. Do you think I don’t think of losing you all the time?”

Gordon froze a moment digesting that his little brother still worried about that… “That’s different.”

“Is it?”

“Dad…okay, I get your point. But I’m also worried about Scott.”

“What?” Alan stared at him.

“Can’t you see what this is doing to him?”

“Er, what?”

No, Alan hadn’t seen. “I have never seen Scott so terrified.”

“I repeat – what?”

“When Dad told us he was going. Scott just…” He swallowed. “Dad is hurting Scott and I, for one, am not going to stand for it. Virg isn’t either.”

Alan was staring at him. “You said Dad was cold and didn’t care. Abrupt, yes, that’s Dad, but I can’t believe he doesn’t care.” The astronaut shook his head.

“If he cared, he wouldn’t have come.”

“Gords-“

“Alan, trust me on this.”

His little brother stared at him again. “I trust you, Gordon, you know that. It’s a given. But I also trust Dad. He knows what he’s doing.”

Gordon pressed his lips together. “He doesn’t know everything and I really wish you guys would stop worshipping him as a god.”

“He’s not a god! He’s just…Dad.”

“Yeah, and that’s the problem.”

There was silence after that. Gordon not willing to berate Alan any further. It wasn’t Alan’s fault. He didn’t have the history with Dad Gordon did. He hadn’t had to fight to swim. Hadn’t seen Virgil struggle with his choices.

Hadn’t seen Scott give his everything to his father only to have it…ignored.

But no, that was history. Long ago. Before the Oort Cloud. Gordon had his issues regarding his father. He loved him, but he was a difficult man under all that passion. Being the son of a hero wasn’t everything it could be.

Scott worshipped the ground his father walked on. Gordon, not so much.

To see his father hurt Scott like that…Gordon’s blood just boiled.

“Is Scott okay?” Alan’s voice was smaller than usual.

“That’s just it, Allie. I don’t think so. You know how he gets. Like before the Oort Cloud. I, for one, don’t want him going there again.” ‘There’ being more a mental place than a physical.

Alan’s head dropped. “No.”

A voice rumbled behind them and both jumped. Michael was talking into comms, to Scott, something about the aft sensor array.

Crap. It was a sign of his distraction that he had forgotten the Mechanic was there. He glanced over, but the tattooed man showed no sign of even knowing they existed.

Gordon sighed.

A hand landed on his knee. “It’s going to be okay.” Blue eyes sought his. “It will be, Gords.”

He let out a breath, suddenly wishing he had Alan’s faith.

If anything happened to Dad…

“It. Is. Going. To. Be. Okay.” The hand on his leg squeezed tight.

But Gordon didn’t answer.

-o-o-o-

The drop of the communication buoy saw all of them back in the cockpit. John was the mastermind behind this little exercise and Virgil was, as usual, very proud of his space brother.

The design was ingenious, of course. John had taken a portion of the T-drive technology and applied it to communications. The same Tunnels created by the engine could be used to push what would otherwise be a simple comms signal through to the next buoy at a vastly accelerated rate. His brother had been working with Brains to realise this technology. Back in Earth orbit, a satellite connected the new network to the planetary network. On the way out, they would connect the Jupiter system. On the way back, they would connect Mars. Time delay communications would be a thing of the past.

Possibly as a tension reliever, John’s first signal went straight to Lady Penelope.

Gordon’s demeanour shifted immediately. His excited babbling did much to lighten the atmosphere in the cabin. The uninformed wouldn’t have been blamed for thinking he hadn’t spoken to her for years. Virgil knew for a fact the two of them had had a conversation shortly before they left.

The concept of ‘young love’ made him feel old.

And indicated just how tired he really was.

But sleep was something he couldn’t see happening very soon. Sure, he could try to take a nap en route. Hell, he had to. But his head was full of worry that likely wouldn’t let him rest.

Scott let Gordon babble for a full minute before cutting him off with the mission. Perhaps the commander saw how much the atmosphere needed to be lifted from the black depths they had fallen into.

Virgil hated it when his family argued. It didn’t happen often...okay, maybe they did quarrel every now and again - it came with the territory of working together. But nothing deep like this. Nothing that cut into the core of their very foundation. The surety that held them together.

Virgil sighed.

“Ready for jump.” Scott’s voice was all command and it forced Virgil to focus.

Pre-jump checklist as his brother called out to each of them.

“Airframe?”

“Craft secure. We are go.”

Blue eyes flickered to Michael. “Propulsion.”

“T-drive ready.”

“Helm.”

Alan’s back was tensed, his hand on the lever that would propel them further away from Earth. “Ready.”

The familiar countdown, such a part of their lives. Scott’s voice carried security...and Virgil’s faith.

Alan’s arm moved.

And the Excel jumped.

-o-o-o-

Next

[drawlfoy]

Detention, Retention, and Draco Being a Lying Shit -- Halloweek Day 2!

catch up on part 1 on my masterlist

request guidelines (in case you were thinking of it ;))

want to be tagged?

pairing: draco x reader

request?  nope

summary: 2 months of detention with Draco Malfoy might be a pain for Y/N, but Harry has other plans.

warnings: swearing, underage drinking (of course not endorsed by me...of course)

a/n: soooo things in my life have gotten a little crazy in the past 48 hours. you may have been wondering where part 2 was yesterday and while this post sums it up best, i’ll take a crack at explaining it here. my relationship got pretty messy and things have been a roller coaster ever since monday night my time. i try and be someone who can separate her emotions from her work but these past two days have made me realize how much my mood impacts everything :/ it isn’t my intention to lead you guys on at all and i want to keep writing this piece, but i apologize in advance if this doesn’t finish itself by friday. anyways, enough blather on my behalf. thanks to anyone who made it through this--you guys mean so much more to me than you know. i hope you enjoy.

tags! @gruffle1 @missmulti @cleopatera @hahaboop @accio-rogers @geeksareunique @eltanin-malfoy @war-sword @cams-lynn @itsivyberry @ayo-cowbelly @nerd-domland @yesnerdsblog @shizarianathania @evanstanfanatic @strawberriesonsummer @hariosborn @night-ving @straightzoinked @imintoodeeptostop @naomimoonshard @jejegu @ophelia-enthusiast @shadyrose66622 @alwaysbeanunknownfan

word count: 1.3k

The plan they laid out over the remainder of the day was ambitious but at least do-able. Each week was split into different subtasks, the end goal being a somewhat tentative friendship between the two. 

“If you can flirt with him and get him to have a crush on you without scaring him off, you’d be in the best possible position,” Hermione told her as they walked back from the Quidditch pitch among the screaming Gryffindor fans. They’d won--yet again. “Obviously I don’t foresee that being likely, but if you pull it off somehow he’d probably be willing to tell you anything. The fact that you’re a pureblood is going to carry you through this whole ordeal. He’ll at least be accepting of your existence in the wizarding community.”

The bitter edge in Hermione’s tone made Y/N’s blood boil. There was no reason for Malfoy to be as prejudiced as he was--he’d spent his adolescence in Hermione’s academic dust. She was obviously smarter than him. 

“You got it, ‘Mione,” she said. Her voice barely carried over the cheers of her peers as they ascended the steps to the common room. “We’ll take this little ferret down. I can’t wait.”

“Don’t get too cocky, now.”

The Gryffindor after-party was crazy...per usual. The charmed self-filling goblets, the blasted playlist of Wizpop pumping through the air, and the buzzing energy of the room was giving Y/N a giant headache. She stood with Hermione and Harry by the edge of the crowd, watching Ron get hoisted up on the shoulders of the chasers. 

“No wonder the Slytherins think we’re Neanderthals,” Y/N mused. For once, Hermione didn’t respond. “Hermione? Is everything okay?”

The second she turned away to look at her best friend, gasps and whistles filled the room. She whipped back just in time to see Lavender Brown, a sweet but slightly ditzy girl in their year, pull away from a kiss with Ron.

“Oh shi--Hermione!”

Harry and Y/N shared a glance before darting after the witch--who had impressively already made it to the door. 

“Hermione, wait!” Y/N called as they jogged after her, throwing open the common room entrance and finding her sat by the tapestry on the other side of the hall, knees to her chest.

“‘Mione, what’s wrong?” asked Harry.

“Don’t be daft, Harry,” said Y/N. “You saw exactly what the rest of us did.”

“I don’t understa--”

“Harry.” Her voice was taut. “I know you’re just trying to help, but I think that it might be best if you let us be. Go back and enjoy the party.”

He gave her a tight, grateful smile before darting back through the door. Y/N wasted no more time in walking over to Hermione and throwing her arms around her shoulders.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered, hugging her tight. Hermione made no move to detach them, so she continued. “Ron is an idiot. You deserve so much better--your first kiss was Viktor fucking Krum, after all. You’re hot stuff and this place is just unfortunately running dry of men who are impressive enough for you. Once you’re out of here and working in the Ministry, you’re gonna have the time of your life with men actually in your league.”

Hermione managed a sniffly laugh as she wiped her eyes with her sleeve. “It’s just so fucking embarrassing, you know. Like, I have a crush on him because I think he understands me and I smelled him in my Amortentia and I thought he’d like me back, but…” She hiccuped. “Then he goes off and kisses Lavender Brown, of all people. There’s nothing particularly wrong with her or anything, but she’s so different...I’m so bookish, and she’s so girly and everything I’m not…”

Y/N took the opportunity to tuck a lock of Hermione’s hair behind her ear as she listened.

“And it can’t help but make me think--was I ever anything to him but a friend? If the girl he ends up choosing is the opposite of me?”

“Girly, don’t think like that,” murmured Y/N. “He’s a teenage boy. They don’t think of love the way that we do--to them it’s a game of availability, not of choice. At least for Ronald. You intimidate him, and by extension, you’re not available.”

“That shouldn’t matter!”

“You’re right. It shouldn’t.” Y/N drew a long breath. “So you should find someone who always has you as their first choice--someone who isn’t intimidated by your intellect. They’re out there. I promise.”

Hermione managed a shaky smile. “Thanks, Y/N. I mean it. Do you mind if I have some alone time? I don’t think I’m ready to go back to the party but I just want some quiet.”

“Of course. Let me know if you need me,” she said, brushing herself off and making to walk down the hall.

“You’re not going back to the party?”

“Nah. It hurts my head and I want fresh air. If I’m not back here in a half hour, assume that I’ve been kidnapped.”

With that, she started her walk. She wasn’t planning on going on a long stroll--there was a small balcony that she often went to when she needed to clear her head. It was beautiful, especially on a snowy night like this.

But the walk was creepy.

There was only one way in and out--a narrow, damp hallway that had absolutely no light fixtures. If Y/N really wanted to, she could cast a quick lumos, but she wasn’t sure if she wanted to see what lived on the walls. The stairs were steep, too, but she managed to bound up all 40 of them in record time. 

“Who’s there?”

The sudden voice ripped a scream out of Y/N’s throat as she reached the top, catching a glimpse of the shadowy figure at the edge of the balcony that spoke. She clasped her hand over her mouth and she crept forward to the opening, getting a better look at the person that was in her secret spot.

The clouds shifted in the sky to allow more moonlight to cast a soft glow on Malfoy’s face, hardened with irritation.

“Malfoy?” Y/N asked, rather dumbly.

“What stellar observational skills,” he drawled. 

She felt her cheeks grow hot. “What are you doing here? This is part of the Gryffindor tower. Shouldn’t you be...I don’t know...playing hide and seek with the sewer rats in the dungeons?”

“Very funny.” His flat tone exposed the fact that he did not, in fact, find it very funny. “There’s no rule barring me from coming up here.”

“But why? This is my spot!”

“Because I wanted to get out. Now, I was here first, so unless you want your detention extended, I suggest you leave.”

Y/N bit the fiery comebacks on the tip of her tongue as the memories of her plan with Hermione began floating back to her. 

Week 1 -- Hold one neutral, civil conversation with Malfoy.

“I’ll be quiet. You won’t even know I’m here,” Y/N decided upon. leaning up against the balcony. The rogue snowflakes that made it past the overhanging roof melted on her cheeks. 

“That isn’t a suggestion,” said Malfoy. “I’m demanding you leave.”

“Beautiful night, isn’t it?” Y/N asked, pointedly ignoring his words. “I’ve always loved the snow. It’s so quiet.”

“And it would be even quieter if you left.”

“Aren’t you the conversationalist?” said Y/N.

“If you don’t leave, I will hex you,” Malfoy told her through gritted teeth. 

“I just love how the moonlight reflects off of the snow,” continued Y/N. “It’s so...pure.”

“Please leave.”

On her walk back down the dank stairwell, she allowed herself a little smile. 

Task 1? Technically done.

final a/n: haven’t done one of these in a while! anyways, i hope you guys enjoyed! i have a luttle more written for part 3 so hopefully i’ll have that out tomorrow too :) let me know what you thought! do you guys think that, even if this is a draco x reader pairing, he’ll ever really tell her what his 6th year task is? i’m curius >:)

[madamsnape921]

I Believe You (part 2)

Pairing: Bryan Kneef x female reader

Warning: NSFW, smut, one mention of a Daddy kink, language, slight angst and fluff if you squint  

WC: 1051

@thatesqcrush‘s VDay Bingo square: Sex (Catchin’ Feelings) - Eden

Part 1; Part 3

Tags: @beccabarba​ @thatesqcrush @law-nerd105​ @prurientpuddlejumper 

Kneef Tags: @itsjustmyfantasyroom @lv7867

The sky was still dark when you opened your eyes. When you turned to Bryan, you realized the bed was empty, but you could see a light coming through the bottom of the bedroom door. You got out of bed, looking around for something to wear. The first thing you noticed was Bryan’s white button down, so you grabbed it and slipped it on. You buttoned most of the buttons and rolled up the sleeves as you walked towards the door. 

The first thing you saw when you quietly exited the bedroom was Bryan. He was pacing back and forth between the window wall and couch. His face was scrunched in thought, and a glass of amber liquid was in his hand. He wore only his boxers and a tight, black shirt. You licked your lips, silently watching his muscles move under his shirt while he paced. 

Bryan woke up an hour before you. He laid in bed thinking about you. The longer he stayed there, the more frustrated he got. He turned to look at you and felt a sudden sense of calm. When he realized he was smiling, he jumped out of the bed, leaving you sleeping. He threw on some clothes and left the room, shutting the door behind him. He went straight to his drink cart and slammed back a whiskey. 

“What the fuck is my problem!” he grumbled to himself as he poured another drink to sip while staring out the window at the Chicago night. This was supposed to be a one and done. Bryan Kneef does NOT catch feelings. Ever. 

When both choices I've got have us staring down the barrel to the bullets I can't stop? And so I standoff… That all these words meant nothing, and I've always been this heartless. 

The morning after the blind date, Bryan went back to his normal behavior. He started by shaking you to wake you up. 

“What?” you asked as you sat up, clutching the sheet to your chest.

“I don’t do relationships, so be gone by the time I’m finished in the shower,” he answered walking into the bathroom. 

You stared in shock at the door for a few minutes before getting up. You threw your clothes on quickly and put your hair in a messy bun on top of your head. You were finishing putting your shoes on when you heard the shower turn off. You grabbed your bag and left Bryan’s apartment. 

Bryan was at dinner with his brother several months later. As he looked around the room, he saw you at a table with another man and it looked like a date. Bryan didn’t like this. He had hooked up with several people since his night with YN but none of them were as satisfying. It was really pissing him off. 

Every time he glanced back at you, he grew more frustrated. It was not until he was leaving that he lost his mind. He was closer to you just in time to hear the guy you were with call you Baby and kiss your hand. 

Bryan felt a sharp twinge of pain in his chest. Who’s this asshole calling her baby? I bet he’s just some prick with a little dick and a smaller paycheck. He scowled at you and your boyfriend. 

“Hello, YN. We should get together again soon,” Bryan smirked as he ignored the man sitting at your table.

“Bryan!” you said in surprise. “What the hell are you doing? I haven’t seen you in months.”

“So? That doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun again, Baby,” Bryan suggested. 

“Excuse me? Who do you think you are?” the other man demanded. 

You stood there flabbergasted by his assumptions. 

“You were never any fun, Bryan,” you hissed. “Christopher, let’s get home.”

“You’re choosing him over me?!” Bryan looked at the man with contempt in his heart.

Bryan was startled out of his musings. No. That absolutely cannot happen. But what else can I do?! Bryan turned from the window and began to pace. She isn’t the type of girl you just have a casual fling with, but what would a committed relationship look like for me? 

Oh no, I think I'm catching feelings. 

Bryan woke up spooned around your back. He kissed your shoulder, trying to ignore your ass pressing into his erection. Before he could move away, you pressed closer to him in your sleep. 

Bryan moaned quietly while reaching down to prepare you. His fingers slowly and gently played with your pussy. After some time, his fingers were nice and wet. He licked his fingers and smiled, knowing you were ready for his cock. 

Bryan brought his hard cock to your entrance and slowly pushed into you. He closed his eyes to savor the feeling of your tight, wet heat wrapped around him. He started rocking in and out of you. You moaned as you started waking up. 

“Good morning, Baby girl,” Bryan purred in your ear. 

“Morning, Handsome,” you replied sleepily. 

He rubbed your clit as he moved faster. “That feels so good,” you moaned. “I’m going to cum, Bry.”

“Cum on Daddy’s cock, Baby,” Bryan growled in your ear. 

You started tightening around him. Your orgasm hit you as you moaned Bryan’s name. 

Your clenching around him caused him to speed up. He groaned as he filled you with his cum. 

Bryan stayed inside you as you both caught your breath. After a few minutes, Bryan started whispering in your ear. “These past several months with you have been better than expected. I… I,” Bryan takes a deep breath. “I love you,” he said so quietly you almost missed it. 

You look over your shoulder at Bryan with a huge grin on your face, “I love.”

Bryan was jerked out of the fantasy. What?! No. I wanted to hear her say it! He turned towards the sound that interrupted his fantasy. It was YN. “What was that?”

“I asked if you were okay,” you repeated looking concerned. 

“I was just thinking,” Bryan answered, finishing his whiskey and walking towards you with a small smile. “That shirt looks good on you, Baby. Let’s go back to bed,” he smirked as he pulled you with him into the bedroom. 

No, I don't know how to forget you.

[myhaikyuuthings]

I want us

requests: Can you write a part 2 for ‘Better Man’? Like the reader ends up with Bokuto or something and ends up getting married to him while Kuroo is just kinda there, hurting. Or you can have reader and Kuroo get back together if you’d prefer, just anything ending with fluff 😔

part 2 please? 

Continuation of: better man

pairing: bokuto x reader, mentions of past kuroo x reader

fluff, angst, happy ending 

warning: mentions of past cheating, 

word count: 3770

it was longer than i intended so it continues under the cut!

 It’s cold outside, the first snow starting to fall. You sit by the window, watching with a heavy heart. It’s the first snow since your divorce, you can’t help but reminisce. 

You met Kuroo when you were just eight years old, the two of you becoming best friends. On your thirteenth birthday he told you he liked you, and that had started your first and only relationship. It was tradition for the two of you to experience the first snow together, always with soft smiles and promises to love each other for the rest of your life. 

It’s a weird feeling, to be here alone now. You sip your tea, closing your eyes as you savor the warmth it gives you. You want nothing more than to step out into the snow, put the last twelve years behind you, but it’s not so easy. Doing it without him feels wrong.  A knock against your door pulls a sigh from your lips. You peak through the window, seeing your old friend waiting. 

“Hi Bokuto-san,” you greet as you open the door, smiling as best as you can manage. 

“Aw have I been gone so long I don’t get my nickname anymore,” he pouts, opening his arms for a hug. You chuckle, wrapping your arms around his waist. “Hi y/n-chan.”

“Hey Kou, how have you been? I’ve been keeping up with your games on the TV, you’re as good as ever,” you compliment, moving to let him into the house. 

“I’ve been good! I’ve missed everybody, it’s just stayed really busy and when I am free it’s always so late at night I feel bad if I text,” he admits, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. 

“I can understand that, if it’s any consolation I missed you too.”

You had met Bokuto during your first year. You were the manager in training for Nekoma where Kuroo played volleyball. The two of you had gone to the training camp and your boyfriend at the time met him after dinner one night. The two had instantly clicked, so of course you were introduced to the boy too. It sparked a great friendship and you loved your friend dearly. 

By the time the two of you met, you had been dating Kuroo for about two years. Bokuto had expressed how jealous he was that Kuroo not only had a girlfriend, but that his girlfriend was also part of his team. He was always there for both of you through high schools, a lot of your best memories were littered with his face right alongside the man you loved. 

“Where’s Kuroo anyways? Well the other Kuroo,” he asks, accepting the mug you hold out with a grin. “I wanted to surprise you guys, maybe go out for the first snow like we used to as teenagers.”

“Kou, when’s the last time you talked to Tetsurou?” you ask, your voice wavering. He tilts his head, seeming to think for a while.

“God a little over a year ago, man I’m a bad friend,” he sighs, shaking  his head. “Why is he okay?”

“I don’t know, to be honest. We got a divorce a few months ago, I haven’t heard anything from him since,” his eyes widen, concern quickly taking over the shocked expression. He grabs your hand across the table, rubbing his thumb soothingly against the back. 

“What happened? You two were the perfect couple,” you laugh a little, causing his concern to grow. 

“He cheated on me Kou, for months,” you finally tell him, your throat restricting around the words. Even now, your body rejected the memory so harshly you felt like you would throw up. 

You sit silently, his grip tightening on your hand as his face goes hard. You move to speak, shutting your mouth at the tears filling his eyes. He closes his eyes, a single tear rolling before he gets his emotions under control. 

“Y/N, I’m so sorry,” he whispers, looking deeply into your eyes. “You deserve better than that, and I can’t believe he would do something like that to you.”

“I couldn’t either, sometimes I forget and I’ll wake up to an empty house and it just,” you laugh, trying to mask the pain in your voice but you know he sees through it. He was always good at reading you, “it hits  me then, that it wasn’t just some bad dream. I’ll be okay.”

“You will, you’ll be okay,” he assures you, “he’s a piece of shit.”

Your eyes widen in surprise, “He’s your best friend..” You know Bokuto has always cared about you as well as Kuroo, but at the end of the day they were the best friends. Inseparable once together, so his words threw you off.

“You loved him so much, I knew it from the first time I met you two,” he explains, his hand never once letting go of yours. “I’ve never seen anyone as in love as you were, and he threw that away. He broke you, I can see it in your eyes when I talk about him, so yeah he was my best friend but so are you, and he fucked up. You may not be asking me to take sides but I am, and I’m taking your side.” 

So the two of you sit, catching up on everything you’ve missed. His team won the last tournament, so they’ll be going to the olympics next year. Because of this, he’ll be in town for a while, the team training with other teams that will fly in to meet them. You offer to let him stay in the extra bedroom that used to be Kuroo’s home office when he says he still needs to find a apartment before his teammate Sakusa actually kills him for his ‘germs’. It takes a lot of reassurance that it’s  okay, and admitting that you had trouble sleeping without someone else in the house. 

“Just, I know I’m only twenty five,” you sigh, running a hand through your hair. “But even before we moved in together after highschool, our parents always let us stay at each others houses because they trusted us. I haven’t been without him for many years so it’s just hard to sleep in an empty house.”

“If you swear it’s okay, then I’ll move in, but I get to cover the rent,” he agrees, a smug look on his face as he finds a suitable solution.

“I own the apartment, it’s paid off,” you admit, watching his cheeks tint pink with a small smile. “You can cover half the other bills? We do a proper roommate situation.”

-

It was easy living with him. Sure he was a little messy, but he always made sure to clean up if you asked. After the first two times, he quickly figured out how much was an ‘acceptable’ amount of mess, and rarely went past that. The two of you had movie marathons every weekend, cuddling up on the couch with an array of movies playing. 

He was there anytime you woke up from a dream about Kuroo, your sobs carrying to his room as you realized the reality. You were there when he had a bad day at practice, comforting him and reminding him how good a player he is. He let you rant and rave anytime your heart reminded you of your past, the ache turning to anger, your eyes too dry for any tears to fall. You always calmed down, muttering apologies and thanks as he held you in his arms. Today was no different when you came home from the market, having ran into your ex husband. 

“I’m never going to love someone again,” you mumble against his chest one night. Your voice was so broken, you would have missed the tears that caught in his eyes at the sound if you didn’t have your head so close to his heart. “It’s okay Kou, it’s just better for me.”

“You’ll love someone again,” he whispers against the crown of your head, tightening his hold on you. “You deserve to be loved the way you loved him, and you’ll find that. And if any guy fucks you over again, I’ll break his face okay?” 

“Does that count for Kuroo?” you ask, only half joking. The shake of his chest as he laughs pulls a small smile to your lips. 

“It does, if he ever tries to talk to you again I’ll fight him for you okay?” Your heart swelled, a warmth feeling filling your chest. You leaned back, cupping his cheek softly. 

“I was kidding, but thank you,” you don’t miss the slight blush on his face, but you ignore it, not wanting to figure out what it means now. “My knight in shining volleyball uniform.” 

He snorts at your analogy, pulling you back into your hug. You rest your hands on his hips, giggling with him. 

“You’re something else y/n,” you can feel the smile against your head, pressing your face closer to his chest. 

“Yeah but you care about me anyways,” he gasps, your giggles echoing at his dramatics. 

“I care about you because you’re something else! One of a kind! Only girl like you in the world,” he raves, talking with his hands as you lean back to look at him. “I don’t care about you despite you being different, I care about you because you’re different. Billions of women in the world, not a single one even comes close to being like you.” 

In retrospect, you should have realized that night where this was going. But you chose to stay oblivious, subconsciously you knew you weren’t ready to move on.

-

You follow him to Brazil for the olympics, wearing his training jersey he had given you. A lot has changed in the last year, you feel lighter. You take your spot in the ‘family and friends’ section set aside for every team. His eyes caught yours as the coach talks to them, he smiles at you which you return easily. 

The game flows beautifully. It’s obvious the other team is good, the black jackals barely keeping the lead. Your cheers are loud and proud as he spikes the ball to the other side of the court, winning the game for his team. Your breath catches when his eyes immediately search for yours, his face bright. 

It’s not hard to love Koutarou. You loved him before you even realize, but once you do, it makes sense. Your mind drifts to your second year when Kuroo had been ignoring you after your first bad fight, and how Bokuto had comforted you, talked you out of  leaving him. You couldn’t deny that you had harbored a small crush for him all those years ago. Little did you know, he had as well. 

“Y/N!” His voice calls as he runs up into the stands. His arms wrap around your waist before you can react and he has you in the air. “You’re a good luck charm, I thought we were going to lose.”

“That was all you guys,” you laugh, placing your hands on his shoulders as he beams up at you. “All I did was cheer for you.”

“Your cheers are filled with luck, we only have one more team to beat and we’ll have gold!” 

“I’m proud of you,” you say, your voice soft and filled with admiration.

 The two of you are so caught up in each other that you don’t notice the camera crew a few feet away. They were waiting to interview him, but started recording when his body met yours. In the few years he had been in the spotlight, he had never been seen with someone in a romantic way. Even if that’s not how you two intended it, that’s how the whole world saw it as they broadcasted live. 

Bokuto notices the crew, setting you down and giving your shoulder a squeeze before walking over to them, his hand resting in yours. “Sorry to keep you guys waiting, I had to thank my lucky charm!”

“Your lucky charm? What’s your name miss?” the interviewer smiles sweetly at you, greeting you properly instead of ignoring your existence like you expected. 

“Oh I’m Y/N Y/L/N, but i’m not his lucky charm,” you stammer, blushing slightly which makes Kou coo at you. 

“Don’t listen to her, we’ve been friends since my first year of high school, anytime she was at a game of mine I won,” he tells her, smiling down at you, “whatever she believes, her cheering is a lucky charm for me and whatever team I’m playing with.”

“Wow you’ve known each other that long? That’s amazing, how long have you two been together, why are we only meeting her now?” 

“Oh wow, no we’re not together, she’s my best friend,” he explains, blushing brightly. 

“I’m sorry for assuming!” She apologizes, bowing deeply. You both assure her it’s okay before she continues with her interview, this time making sure her questions are only on the game. 

-

He won gold, bringing it back to Japan with his head held high and his hand in yours. Things had gotten weird after that interview, he was less affectionate with you than ever before. He didn’t want to  make you uncomfortable or let you realize his feelings for you. You had grabbed his hand when you got off the plane, your pout pulling a sigh from his lips when he tried to remove it. 

Back at your home, you sit him down with a pout on your lips and worry in your eyes. “Did I do something? You’ve always been affectionate ever since I met you but lately you seem to recoil from my touch. It’s okay I just don’t know why..”

“Oh Y/N no love,” your heart soars at the slip of the petname, his voice soft, “I just didn’t want to make you uncomfortable after that interview. I’m sure you weren’t happy with her assuming we were dating, or the amount of people online who had the same idea.” 

“And if I told you I didn’t mind?” you ask, looking away from him in embarrassment, “what if I told you I didn’t hate it, actually the opposite.” 

He slides closer to you, his knees pressing against yours as you two sit on your bed. He takes your chin in between his fingers lightly, turning your face so your eyes meet his. You freeze, the hope in his eyes so obvious you wonder how you didn’t figure it out sooner. He liked you too. 

“Do you mean that?” his voice was soft and husky, sending shivers down your spine. You nod, unable to find your voice. “I’ve loved you for a long time.

Long before you had your heart broken, before you married him, I’ve loved you since our second year.” He admits, you smile softly, his hand moving to rest against your cheek. 

“I know Kou, I didn’t at the time but I can see it now,” you say, leaning into his touch, “the way you spoke to me back then, how you were always there, the soft touches. I was too blind back then.”

“You were with Kuroo, it didn’t matter how I felt, a part of me was glad you never figured it out, I didn’t want to come between you two ever. No matter how much I loved you.” 

A loud knock came from the front door, breaking the intimate moment between you. Bokuto sends you a small smile, going to see who it was. He doesn’t bother looking through the peep hole, instead just opening the door. You wait in the bedroom, jumping when you hear a loud bang. You rush into the living room, seeing him standing in front of the closed door, his body tense.

“Kou?” you approach him, placing your hand on his shoulder gently. “What was that?”

He takes a deep breath as the knocking on the door starts up again. Turning to you, he gives you a tight smile and asks you to go back to the bedroom. When he realizes you aren’t going anywhere, he flings the door open as the knocking turns into a banging. 

“What the fuck Bokuto?” You freeze, you haven’t heard his voice in nearly two years. Your grip on Bokuto tightens, his hand coming up to push you behind him.

“I should be asking you that Kuroo,” his voice is colder than you’ve ever heard it, the anger radiating off of him nearly scaring you. “Why are you here?”

“I saw the broadcast from the Olympics, I had to know if Y/N was with you now, I guess this answers my question,” he scoffs, gesturing to you hiding behind Bokato, wearing one of his t shirts that covered your shorts. 

“You have no right to know who she is or isn’t with, did you forget what you did?” Bokuto steps forward, your hand falling from it’s place around his bicep. “Did you forget Kuroo? Do I need to remind you?”

“I know what I did, but you were my friend too,” you wince at the pain in his voice, you feel a bit guilty for liking Bokuto when he says it like that. 

“Yeah I was, and you were her husband, I guess we both let down people who we never should have,” he moves to shut the door, Kuroo’s hand stopping it. No sooner than you can process it, Bokuto’s fist collides with your ex husband, blood gushing from his nose almost immediately. 

“Kou!” You gasp, grabbing onto him before he can hit him again. 

“I told you, if he showed his face in front of you again I was going to hit him,” he whispers, trying to calm himself. Kuroo curses, cupping his nose. You feel bad, bringing him a wash cloth and ice pack.

“Here, for the nose,” you whisper, holding it out to him. Bokuto scoffs beside you, his hand resting on your waist. “I’m sorry he hit you, but you kind of deserved it.”

“Kind of?” “Kou enough, please.” 

Kuroo accepts the items with a small thanks. Wiping the blood that ran down his face, he turns to the two of you. “Are you two together? Can you just tell me that Y/N?” 

“You should go,” is the only answer you give him. Once you’re sure he’s gone you turn to Bokuto, “you really hit him.”

“I’ll do it again if I have to,” he says, not looking  even the least bit regretful of his actions. 

“Can I kiss you Koutarou?” 

His lips are on yours before you can finish your sentence, hands holding onto your hips tightly. You moan into the kiss, your hands gripping his upper arms. The feeling of his lips against yours felt better than you could have ever imagined, the soft groans leaving his lips telling you he felt the same. You pressed your  body closer to his, your chest flush with his. He pulls you even closer, taking a few steps backwards until he sits on the couch, you falling onto his lap. 

“I love you, and I know you don’t feel that way about me yet, that’s okay,” he pants, looking up at you. “But I need to know if you really want this, us before we do anything else.”

“I want us, I want you,” you reply, your hands playing with the hair at the base of his neck. His hairs down, and you decide this is your favorite look on him. 

“Yeah?” he can’t keep the smile from his face as you nod, his heart feeling satisfied for the first time in years. “I’m really glad I never moved on from you.” 

His lips find yours once more, and you melt into him.

-

You never thought you would be standing here again. It’s been nearly four years since you started dating Bokuto, and he asked you to marry him two months ago. You didn’t want a big wedding this time around, and he agreed, just wanting to marry you, regardless of how many people were there. 

You stand, the sand between your toes, your dress brushing against your knees as the wind blows. He wanted a beach wedding, and you didn’t have the heart to say no. He stands at the ‘altar’, his outfit casual but beautiful to you. His smile is wide, eyes full of love as you approach him.

“I love you, you look perfect,” he praises you, his hands taking yours. “Are you ready for this?”

“I’m ready love,” you smile, cooing at the teary eyed smile he gives you. 

The wedding was small, intimate, but just as lovely as your first. If not better. Only your immediate family and closest friends were present, all of them happy for the two of you. It was a small reception, hardly anything, more of a beach party than a wedding reception. 

You found yourself tangled in his arms as you sway to the music, your heart light, at peace. 

“Thank you for trying to surprise me that day,” you whisper, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “I don’t know where I would be if you hadn’t shown up then.”

“You’d be right here,” he shrugs, a sure smile on his face, “one way or another, I would have found out and been at your doorstep ready to help you. You falling in love with me is just the cherry on the cake for me, I was happy as long as you were, it didn’t matter who you were with. As long as you had that smile on your face, I would step aside every time for someone else to love you.”

“The only person I will ever love as much as you, is our baby,” you laugh as his eyes widen, he stops swaying, his grip on  you tightening slightly.

“I don’t know if you’re saying you want kids or if you’re saying you’re already pregnant,” his voice is quiet, not giving anything away. 

“I found out two days ago.” The scream of joy that fell from his lips had everyone jumping, never quite used to his outbursts. You giggle, his hands holding you up in the air with the happiest look on his face. He puts you down, pulling you into a deep kiss. 

“Best day of my life,” he says, kissing you between each word. 

Maybe you got it wrong the first time you got married. But you knew, standing before him now, that you got it right this time. 

[ourloveisforthelovely]

On the Mend. Part 3

Harry Potter AU 

Link to Part 2

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader 

Rating: M- later chapters

Song at the beginning: “Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off” by Panic! At the Disco

_____

I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck Than any boy you'll ever meet, sweetie, you had me

Girl, I was it, look past the sweat, a better love deserving of Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat? No, no, no, you know it will always just be me

You weren't sure how far you had been walking when you stopped. Stopping, you looked around to try and figure out just where you had gone to. You were at least a mile from home and at the moment that was okay. Upon returning home you would have to face Regulus. There was no way around it.

The sensible side of your brain told you that this was for the best if not for yourself then for Renee. She deserved to have Regulus in her life and whether you wanted to admit it or not so did you. You still loved him even though he hurt you more than you cared to admit.

He was trying to apologize and say that he was wrong...that has to count for something.

The voice in your heart was a lot different than the one in your brain that wanted Regulus’ balls in a jar. You kept muttering your daughter’s name and “I’m a better person” over and over. Maybe Regulus meant it when he said had he known that you were pregnant that he would have said no to his parents. It wasn’t like you could hop in a time machine and go find out.

The question that existed now was would you ever be able to trust him? Your sensible side said, “Give the poor boy a chance; he almost cried. Regulus Black doesn’t cry.”

“This is going to be messy.”

You muttered before turning and heading back in the direction of home. At least you had Remus and Sirius in your corner. They wouldn’t let anything horrible happen to you, Sirius especially. He was the one that wanted to go after his brother when you told him that you were pregnant to begin with and shake his brother until the boy came to his senses.

Walking back into the house, Remus looked up from the book that he was reading. His expression went from blissfully relaxed to worried brother as he stood up.

“Are you alright? We were worried about you.”

You nodded, taking off your coat.

“Sorry, I had to get some air.”

Remus nodded, pulling you into a hug.

“If he starts shit, I will politely rip his lungs out at the full moon. All that you have to do is ask.”

You leaned back and met Remus’ gentle eyes. The two of you instantly burst into fits of giggles.

“I’ll keep that in mind. We have an order meeting, right?”

Remus nodded before sitting back down and returning to his book. He was beginning to wonder why they were even called meetings anymore. The order had nearly been depleted. Tonight it was just going to be Dorcas, Marlene, Dumbledore, and (making a rare appearance) Minerva McGonagall.

“Everyone should be here soon.”

You took a breath before turning and going to the sitting room. Stopping in the doorway, you couldn’t help but smile seeing Regulus sitting on the floor with Renee. The little girl had torn out all of the pieces of her toy kitchen that Remus had bought her for her birthday and was handing Regulus random plastic dishes and food items. He had a small rare smile on his face as he neatly put everything in little stacks.

Renee’s attention had drifted over to you before eagerly holding her hands up and squealing “mama.” Regulus’ head snapped in your direction before quickly standing up.

“I’ll just take her so you two can talk.”

Sirius, who you hadn’t even noticed was in the room, said before picking Renee up and leaving the room. The last thing that he really wanted was for either Renee or himself to witness this conversation.

“Can we talk? Please?”

Regulus asked. He kept his tone smooth and gentle. Regulus knew that if he talked the least bit harshly, he would get nowhere.

You, meanwhile, started muttering Renee’s name over and over in your mind. This had to be for your daughter. You had to put the pain of the break up, the pain of reading Regulus’ and fruit salad lady’s wedding announcement in the Daily Prophet, and any other hurt that affected you on the back burner.

“Sure, come upstairs with me. I don’t want anyone listening.”

Regulus followed you up the stairs into what had to be your bedroom.

“Close the door.”

You said, softly before taking your wand out and putting a silencing charm on the room. Regulus waited until you turned back to him to speak.

“Y/n, what do I have to do? I’ve apologized. I was an ignorant teenager...a stupid git of a teenager. Better yet...here”

Regulus reached into the pocket of his suit jacket and produced a folded up sheet of paper. You frowned and took it from him.

“What’s this?”

“The proof that you need that I’m a free man.”

You unfolded the paper that was clearly his divorce decree from Ambrosia. Blinking a few times you folded the paper up and handed it back to him.

“Congratulations, I guess?”

Regulus didn’t expect much of a reaction to that so he decided to go with plan B.

“You were right. I was a coward for not standing up to them. That is going to change. I’ve already asked mother to meet us for lunch tomorrow. I want you to go with me because I’m telling her everything. If she wants to blast me off of the family tapestry then I am fine with it. You know my father is dead, right?”

You nodded, unsure of how to react to what Regulus said. The fact that he was willing to take the risk of being burnt off of the Black family tapestry said a lot! If he didn’t care, you doubted he would be willing to tell Walburga everything.

“Yeah, I heard about that. You do realize that this isn’t going to end well for you.”

Regulus shrugged as he stepped closer to you. His stormy eyes were locked on yours looking for any sign that you wanted him to stop.

“It doesn’t matter.”

He reached down and took your hand in his. You didn’t pull away this time. Instead, you stood enjoying the feeling of his skin on yours as you had earlier.

Regulus’ eyes rolled back up from your joined hands.

“All that matters is this...you, me, and our baby. You can trust me. I’m not going anywhere.”

Regulus tilted your face up to his before leaning down and kissing you softly.

“All that I am asking for is a chance...a second chance. This time there won’t be any hiding.”

Regulus was relieved when you didn’t kick him in the shins. You stood with your hand still wrapped around his.

“Reggie, I…”

Regulus smiled.

“Did I tell you that you are the only one that I let call me that? I’ve missed hearing it. What do I have to do?”

You were silent for a few moments.

“That was an honest apology. Believe it or not, I could always tell when you were lying. That wasn’t a lie. I never really told anyone this and I don’t think that I even wanted to admit it to myself...I knew that you didn’t want to marry her. I could see it in your eyes.”

Regulus nodded. Not wanting to marry Ambrosia was putting things lightly. His father almost had to drag him out of the house. Regulus had spent the whole morning sobbing like a baby after drinking the whole previous night away. Throughout the wedding, Ambrosia was lucky that Regulus didn’t throw up on her. He instead spent the reception throwing up in the bushes with Evan shaking his head like a disapproving mother bird.

“No, I didn’t want to. You should have seen the spoiled brat that I was the whole time. May I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

You replied, softly. You were nervous about what was about to come out of his mouth. What if it was a question that you didn’t want to face? Would you be able to answer it? You weren’t sure.

Regulus frowned.

“Did you know that you were pregnant when we broke up?”

You motioned to the bed. The two of you should probably sit down for this conversation.

“No, I didn’t know then. I didn’t find out until a few weeks after. I didn’t tell anyone for a while either...like 5 months later…it was after James and Lily died.”

Regulus’ hand wrapped around yours.

“I wanted to come to you after I heard they were killed. Voldemort had me out of the country at that particular time. I was left out of the loop on a lot of things at that particular time. Between you and me, I thought that prophecy was a bunch of crap. Hell, everything at that particular time was a bunch of crap.”

“I’m relieved to hear that come out of your mouth. You have no idea how much I worried anytime you went on some mission. Regulus, I want to love you again but it's going to take some time.”

Regulus slid off of the bed to kneel in front of you. His hand reached up to cup your cheek.

“I’ll give you anything that you want. I’m not kidding about going to face my mother tomorrow. I want you to come with me to see it. It's going to be a shit show but it will be well worth it. Would it be obnoxious to ask for a kiss?”

Both of you smiled at that question. It was the question that totally set you off before. Now, it was different.

You still had your reservations about renewing the relationship but Regulus’ genuine demeanor was soothing.

“I think that would be alright.”

You said before leaning down and kissing Regulus softly. He didn’t move to deepen the kiss or make you feel like you had to do more other than a closed mouth kiss. That didn’t mean that Regulus didn’t want to wrap his arms around you to show the passion that he felt for you. That would take time and it didn’t matter how much Regulus didn’t want to wait...it was time to be patient. He had to be the man that you needed.

A knock on the door made Regulus and yourself pull apart quickly. You quickly took the silencing charm off of the room.

“Yes?”

You called out. Sirius’ voice came from the other side.

“The meeting is starting. I’m sorry to interrupt whatever is going on in there.”

Regulus gave you an annoyed expression before getting up and opening the door. Sirius stood with a worried expression on his face that quickly turned to relief.

“Oh thank Merlin. You both have your clothes on.”

Sirius was afraid that he was going to come upstairs and find Regulus and yourself snogging. It wasn’t that he didn’t expect it to happen eventually but it didn’t need to happen too quickly. The last thing that Sirius wanted was for you to go through another hell-like breakup. He didn’t mind picking up the pieces because that’s what best friends did for one another. Sirius didn’t want to see you or Regulus, for that matter, hurt.

“Just what did you think that we were doing?”

Regulus questioned. Sirius smirked.

“Well...put 2 and 2 together would you?”

You stood up quickly.

“You don’t have to worry about that, Sirius.”

Sirius frowned.

“So, you two aren’t getting back together.”

You fought the urge to chuckle at the expression of sadness on Sirius’ face. It was as if Sirius was some child wanting to make sure his parents were good after a fight.

“Yes, we are getting back together but we aren’t doing anything too quickly.”

Sirius looked relieved. This was probably the most mature and safe way to handle the situation. Granted, Sirius never did anything slow or safe.

“Cool. Slow is good.”

The moment that you walked into the dining room with Regulus behind you, Dorcas immediately looked panicked.

“Why is Regulus here? I think he came to the wrong meeting with the wrong bunch of people.”

Regulus rolled his eyes as Dumbledore came in.

“Ms. Meadowes, Regulus is on our side now.”

Dorcas didn’t look the least bit comfortable having a former death eater in the same room as her. She wrapped her arms around Renee, who was sitting on her lap playing with her necklace. Renee turned her attention to Regulus and yourself.

“Mama, dada!”

Dorcas looked down at the baby before her dark eyes rolled up to your face.

“No! I thought that she was Sirius’.”

Dorcas looked down at the baby on her lap before gawking back up at Regulus. How had she not seen it? Renee resembled her father too much for comfort. Renee had his eyes, the same dark curls, and that same haughty expression that both Regulus and Sirius wore so well.

Sirius, meanwhile, looked disturbed.

“What? I don’t think that I would be calling myself her uncle if I was her father? What is this some fucked up version of Hamlet?”

Regulus went over to Dorcas and took Renee from her with a scowl on his face.

“Now we know the speed of stupid.”

He commented. Dorcas was out of her chair with her wand out ready to hex the boy in front of her. Regulus smirked.

“You’re really going to hex me with my daughter in my arms? Do you really want to go there?”

You quickly wedged yourself between the two.

“Dorcas, no. Regulus, please.”

Dorcas sat back down as you followed Regulus back to the empty seats across the table.

“When did this happen? You two as a couple...I thought that you were married to that Parkinson girl?”

You sighed, the last thing that you really wanted to do was tell everyone about what had happened in your life.

“He was.”

“That didn’t mean that I wanted to be. We’re divorced now.”

Regulus clarified. Dorcas was still frowning.

“So you knock up Y/n...I’m confused.”

You knew that Dorcas was about to go into protective best-friend mode.

“Dorcas, do you remember that day that you caught him staring at me?”

Dorcas’ mouth dropped.

“So you two have been having some affair that long?”

“Dorcas, they split up because our mother forced the arranged marriage with Ambrosia. Y/n was pregnant then. We, as in Remus, Y/n, and myself decided to keep the truth to ourselves because well...it was a fucked up situation. Now, Regulus is in on the know and they are working on their problems. Did I sum it up?”

Sirius questioned. You nodded as Sirius went back to the shot of whiskey in front of him as Dorcas put a hand over her face.

“Oh my god, it all makes sense! This explains that horrible depression that you went through before you had Renee. How did I not see it?”

“We kept things secret because of his family.”

You supplied. Dorcas was quiet for a moment. This was the last thing that she ever expected to happen. She thought that when she told you to stay away from Regulus you would actually listen...not run off and have a baby with him.

“Well, what about now? I mean, isn’t your mother still alive?”

Regulus nodded.

“I’m telling her tomorrow and she will either have to accept it or not. It's simple.”

Dorcas sat looking between Regulus and yourself for a few moments.

“Nothing with your pureblood Voldemort supporting families is simple.”

Had Regulus not been holding his daughter, he would have hexed Dorcas. He was thankful that Renee was trying to go to sleep against his chest. If he had not been holding her, Dorcas Meadowes would be hurting.

“You’ve got to get control on your temper. Things with Y/n is tense enough as it is. If you go hexing her stupid friend, you might as well kiss having your woman goodbye.”

Regulus thought before swallowing his rage.

“Opinions are like assholes, Meadowes.”

Remus has sat quietly observing the whole situation. He decided it was time to change the topic before things went way out of hand.

“So Dorcas, I heard that you were seeing Anthony Harwood.”

Regulus’ eyes flickered up hearing Anthony’s name. That was the little punk in Hufflepuff that followed you around like some lovesick puppy. It was only after Regulus hexed him a few time in a dark hallway did Anthony get the picture to fuck off and leave the Slytherin’s lover alone.

Dorcas rolled her eyes.

“I am. He was supposed to come but he didn’t show up.”

Regulus smirked.

“Well, it is dark outside. Maybe he thinks he’s asleep and is lost somewhere?”

Dorcas’ eyes turned to Regulus.

“You’re still an asshole, I see.”

“And I thought that you were a lesbian?”

Dorcas jumped up.

“I am bisexual you little shit!”

Renee grinned.

“Shit!”

She squealed happily before clapping her little hands. Sirius almost snorted whiskey out of his nose while Regulus blinked down at his daughter. You quickly jumped up.

“Okay, that is enough! Renee knows enough bad words for this week. Reggie, we need to get her in bed.”

The next afternoon, you followed Regulus down a street crowded with muggles. Your hand was locked in his as he held Renee in his other arm.

“I’m surprised that your mother agreed to meet you at a muggle place.”

Regulus gave you a small grin.

“What mother doesn’t know won’t hurt her. She won’t be as inclined to throw such a tantrum with people all around her.”

The moment that the two of you stepped into the restaurant your eyes immediately met Walburga who was seated by none other than freaking Ambrosia Parkinson. Both women’s mouths dropped the moment that they saw you with Regulus and the baby in his arms.

Regulus, meanwhile, was muttering “fuck” under his breath. The last thing that he expected was for Ambrosia to be there. When he spoke to Walburga the day before, Regulus made it clear that he wanted to see his mother only.

“Regulus, what is going on?”

Walburga snapped. Regulus tightened his hold on both your hand and Renee.

“Mum, I’m sure that you remember Y/n Potter. She is the woman that I am in love with and this is our daughter, Renee.”

To be continued….

______

@fairywriter-oracle

@amelie-black

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@sunles

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[horansqueen]

Stuck With You - Chapter 5

Chapter 5 : Hey, Soul Sister

🡪chapter 1  🡪chapter 2  🡪chapter 3  🡪chapter 4

College Enemies To Lovers AU

characters // masterlist // instagrams // mood board 

I knew when we collided You're the one I have decided who's one of my kind

I can be myself now finally In fact there's nothing I can't be

I knew I wouldn't forget you And so I went and let you blow my mind

You gave my life direction A game-show love connection We can't deny

click here to be on the update list

                                     Louis' room was exactly like mine but with posters of bands and football players. I let my eyes roam on the white walls before they fell on him again as he sat on his bed. He tapped the place next to him and I sent him a small smile before joining him, sitting a bit further and leaning against the wall.

"So, what do you wanna drink?" he asked, opening the small fridge next to his bed.

"Beer is fine." I just said, shrugging a shoulder as I let my palms brush against the black comforter i was sitting on.

I noticed his bed was a mess and so was his room. There were books everywhere, a box of pizza on his desk and dirty clothes covering the floor.

"Thank god I didn't end up sharing a room with you." I added with a chuckle, taking the beer he was handing me.

"Why? Don't tell me your anal like Neil is."

I frowned but my lips curled a bit. I had noticed that Niall's side of the room was clean and in order but hearing Louis tell me he was actually anal about it was interesting. I took note of it, adding it to the mental list of 'things I know about my roommate', which was, let's face it, a very short list for now.

"Actually, i'm just as messy as you are, but now you got me worried about how Niall could react if I leave my stuff around." I admitted with a smile. "Perhaps i'm gonna try to keep my side of the room clean."

"Cheers." Louis chuckled. "Niall would be pissed."

I clinked my beer against his and we took a sip. I kept staring at him as his eyes fell on the bottle in his hands. He moved it slightly but I knew he was looking at it without really seeing it.

"He was pissed, actually." I pointed out, leaning my head on the wall and bringing my knees up, my feet flat on the bed. "He's mad at me and I have no idea why."

"No, Devon, he was angry at me, not at you. You did nothing wrong."

I was not sure he was right but I pressed my lips together and tilted my head. "And what did you do to him?"

Louis chuckled but this time, there was no amusement in his tone. He was sad, I could feel it. I wanted to be there for him but I didn't know what to do except listen to him. I was never good at giving advice, or receiving advice, actually. I always ended up doing what I thought was right and realizing way too late that it was not the right thing to do. There was no way I could really help Louis and I knew it.

"It's just a bunch of little things, you know? Realizing his dream of being a professional footballer, having the girl he likes falling for me..." he stopped himself and looked up in my eyes. ".. despite myself, of course. And just... not being there for him when he needed him the most."

Louis sighed loudly and swallowed his beer, putting it away near the pizza box before leaning his head on the wall too and closing his eyes. "I was a fucking bad friend. I still am. I'm still trying to be close to him despite knowing very well he doesn't want me near."

I licked my lips, feeling my heart twist in my chest. It just confirmed that I really couldn't do anything to help Louis and I hated it.

"I think Niall doesn't want many people near." I pointed out. "Has he always been like that?"

Louis smiled more and opened his eyes, shaking his head slightly. "No, not at all. Niall was always the light of the party, the one everyone loves, always surrounded by so many people it was hard to actually get his attention." he turned to me and smiled. "I'm the opposite."

"Me too." I let my lips curled.

I didn't want to admit it, but the fact that everyone was so in awe when it came to Niall actually fascinated me. People like him, to whom everyone seemed to be drawn, were so interesting, and at the same time, I could totally understand why. There was something emanating from Niall that even got to me after only a few days. So yea, he was the most annoying little shit I've ever met, but I still wanted his attention.

I cleared my throat, a bit embarrassed by the thought and very glad that it stayed in my head. Okay, Niall was intriguing, but he had also mentioned that I intrigued him too, and I didn't know what it meant.

"You either love Niall, or pretend that you don't."

I chuckled and raised my eyebrows at Louis' words. "What?"

"I'm serious!" he laughed a bit, turning his body my way. "Everyone who has said they hated Niall didn't really hate him, or if they did, after a while, they ended up liking him. He's just got the effect on people. I've always been jealous of that."

We remained silent for about a minute and Louis finally got up, grabbing the beer from my hands. "We're gonna need something stronger than that."

I laughed a bit and he got a bottle of vodka, serving me some in a plastic cup before sitting back on his bed, slightly closer to me. I watched him take a long sip and blinked a few times.

"So tell me, Devon, why did you come to this school? What happened at your old college that was so bad you had to leave?"

I breathed in, feeling my heartbeats accelerate, and drank half my glass before grimacing and coughing, almost choking on my drink. It made Louis smirk and he raised his eyebrows as my eyes watered, due to the feeling of burn in my throat.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

I looked inside my cup, watching the transparent liquid move as my hand shook slightly, and finally pressed my lips together, not daring to look up at my new friend.

"Let's just say I trusted the wrong person, dated them and ended up with a broken heart."

"Darling, that's everyone's story." Louis replied after a shot moment of silence.

He drank what was left in his glass before filling it again and I decided to do the same. I watched as he poured more vodka in my glass too and sighed louder than intended. I was getting past the tipsy stage and I wanted to share everything with Louis but instead, I just stared in his eyes and sent him a fond smile.

"I know we just met but.. that day in the hall when you talked to me for the first time? I felt something. Like, a connection or something. Have you ever heard about sister souls?"

He chuckled in his glass and swallowed hard before sending me an amused smile. "Like the song?"

"Sort-of." I rolled my eyes. "Except for the 'love' part."

"So you're telling me you're not in love with me, is that it?"

"I barely know you." I smiled more.

"But you know me enough to feel a connection."

I chuckled and rolled my eyes again, making him laugh. "Come on, Louis!"

"I'm just playing with you, Dev." he said, licking his lips. "I know what sister souls are, and I feel that connection too, if you wanted to know."

"Good." I replied low, nodding a few times before looking down at my glass again. "Besides, I'm never gonna fall in love again."

"You're not the one who decides that, love." he let out in a soft tone, making me look up at him. He raised his eyebrows and shrugged a shoulder. "If it happens then it happens. You've got no control over it."

"Trust me, I'll make sure of it." I argued, blinking a few times and feeling suddenly tired. "Love hurts too much and when you give your heart to someone, you become this vulnerable wreck human being. Not worth the pain."

I lied down on Louis' bed and yawned, letting my eyes close, feeling half conscious and right before I fell asleep, I heard Louis say something that I didn't have the strength to answer.

"You sound just like Niall."

----

Niall had ignored me for exactly eight days after that day I left the room to go spend time in Louis' and ended up falling asleep in his bed. He was back to throwing hurtful comments directed at me without really addressing to me personally. I was sad and it hurt me way more than I thought it would but I decided to pretend I didn't care and started playing the same game he was playing.

We ended up living together without acknowledging each other and I couldn't remember the last time Niall actually had looked at me. I didn't know why he was acting like that but it just proved to me that it was not Louis he was mad at. It was actually me, and I didn't know why. I also didn't want to ask, especially that I was pretty sure he wouldn't answer the question, or even answer me at all.

I had been busy working on my last painting and he was spending as much time as possible away from our room. I didn't dare following him but I was pretty sure he was working on his song in the music room, or shagging some random girls wherever he could.

The morning of our visit to the museum, however, I was surprised to hear his voice. We hadn't met with Daxia and Asher to talk about our project but I knew today was the day and perhaps, he knew he would have to sort of interact with me.

I saw him put a few things in his pockets and grab his backpack, zipping it quickly, but I still pretended I was not looking at him. The truth was, the longer he was ignoring me, the more I was looking at him, and the more I spent time wondering why he hated me so much.

"Look, we're both going to the same place." he explained with a sigh, not even looking at me. "I know you don't have a car, so, maybe you need a ride? I mean," he sighed again, stopping everything he was doing and closing his eyes. "You can ride with me."

I stood there for a few seconds, a bit surprised and speechless by his proposition, before finally blinking a few times and licking my lips. "Oh, uhm, yes, thank you, that's very nice of you." I agreed, stuttering a bit and letting a small smile spread on my lips.

"Alright. Cool." he just replied, putting his backpack on his shoulder as I grabbed my stuff quickly.

I followed him outside, remaining slightly behind him, and as we walked down the stairs, a few other guys waved at him.

"Hey Horan, are you gonna be there for the party this saturday?"

He turned on his heels when he was down the stairs and started walking backwards. "Wouldn't miss that for anything!"

He chuckled and I stared at the way he was smiling. A lock of his hair fell on his forehead again and it twisted in a cute swirl. I almost tripped on my feet but gripped the banister to get my balance back but unfortunately, it caught Niall's attention and for the very first time in days, his eyes met mine. He frowned a bit and chuckled before shaking his head slightly.

"Did you forget how to walk, Devie?"

I raised my nose up at the nickname he gave me but decided not to comment on it, knowing that openly be annoyed by it would be the perfect reason for him to use it again. I breathed in and tried not to sigh but he noticed and raised his eyebrows.

"Oh wait, it's because of me, isn't it?" he said with a smirk as his dimple dug deeper in his chin. "I look too good? You can't handle it?"

"Funny." I replied, my eyes getting smaller as I looked at him. God, he was annoying. And it annoyed me even more that the reason I almost tripped was because of that stupid hair lock falling on his forehead and therefore, there was some truth in his words. "This is gonna be a long ride." I muttered as we stepped outside.

He was still amused when we entered his car and although I was still annoyed, I couldn't help but let my lips curl as my eyes traveled on his car. It looked amazing from outside, and it seemed amazing to drive, too. When I looked up, he was sending me an amused smile and I pressed my lips together.

"You alright?"

I cleared my throat and shrugged. "Like I said, I love your car."

He started it and raised his eyebrows at me. "It's just a Jeep."

"It's literally my dream car." I admitted low, regretting it immediately after and glancing at the window.

"Then buy one."

I chuckled and rolled my eyes, turning to look at him again, staring at his face like he was an alien. "Do you remember how much you paid for it? I don't have that kind of money."

"I do." he finally replied after a few minutes of silence. "I bought it with my first paycheck as a model. I never had that kind of money before."

"So, you're a model." I repeated even if I already knew. He glanced at me and I did the same, and it made the left corner of his lips raise up.

"Yes, I am." he replied with a chuckle. "Me and my double chin, darling."

I smiled more at him, realizing how much fun and nice he could be sometimes, and just licked my lips. "What double chin?"

As an answer, he just smiled at me and turned on the radio. I started laughing when the Train song started playing and he turned to me with a frown.

"No it's just, I was talking with Louis the other day, and we talked about this song."

"That's not really the kind of music Louis listens to." Niall explained, raising his eyebrows as his eyes remained on the road.

"No I just asked him if he knew what sister souls were and he mentioned it." I shrugged, feeling suddenly a bit embarrassed. I was drunk and perhaps I had express a bit more of my feelings than I should have.

"That's a weird conversation to have." Niall simply pointed out with a frown.

I knew he was curious and I licked my lips. "I just feel... I mean, I barely know him, but that's how I feel towards him."

Although I could only see his profile, I noticed how his facial expression suddenly changed and I held my breath. He didn't answer, but he also stopped glancing at me and I didn't see a smile on his face for the rest of the ride. He parked and as he was undoing his belt, I turned to him and sighed.

"Why were you mad at me the other day? We were talking and Louis knocked and suddenly, you were rude to me."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." he replied, once again avoiding my gaze.

He got out of the car and I quickly did the same, grabbing my bag and following him. I had to walk quickly to keep the pace and I sighed.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about." I argued, holding the strap of my bag so tight that my fingers turned white. "You're doing the same thing right now. Louis thinks it's because of him but I know it's me. Why do you hate me so much?"

He stopped and turned to me so fast that my heart jumped in my chest. The way he stared at me made me swallow hard and in the three seconds it took him to talk, I had the time to notice that his eyes had turned the exact same shade of blue from his shirt. Why did I notice things like that?

"Look, just because we had a small conversation about futile stuff doesn't mean we're friends now. It doesn't mean I like you, or that I have to like you. It doesn't mean I care about you, what you do, who you befriend and what you want. In fact, I really don't care, okay? I'm stuck with you in that fucking room, and i'm stuck with you for that stupid project, but spending time with you is irritating. You're the most annoying person I've ever had the misfortune to meet, and I can't wait to get rid of you!"

It was a reflex. A simple reflex. I didn't have time to think about it, I just slapped him as he threw all those mean words at me, my hand hitting his cheek way harder than I thought it would. It took him by surprise and his lips parted as I held my breath, not really believing what I had done. After the shock had passed, he scoffed and shook his head.

"Great." he let out. "Stay the fuck away from me." he added, pointing his finger in my direction and I just took a step back as he left.

I realized that my heart was racing when I finally breathed in deeply but somehow, I couldn't stop the ache in my chest. My heart felt like it was stuck in a vice and I was not sure if it was because I had slapped him, or because of the hard words he had thrown at me. It made me realize that it was the very first time I actually touched Niall and I looked down, turning my hand to look at my palm. That was not the kind of relationship I wanted with anyone and I knew I should do something, but I had no idea what it was. I also couldn't force him to like me, and I closed my eyes, trying to get back to my senses.

There was no reason for me to want him to appreciate me but I did and realizing that made me a bit mad. I had promised myself that I wouldn't be this weak person anymore, and that I didn't need the approbation or the love from anyone, but the truth was, I was still human, and letting Niall be hot and cold with me over and over again was affecting me more than I thought and hoped it would.

I felt my phone vibrate in my back pocket and grabbed it, feeling my heart sink in my chest when I saw it was from Daxia. For some reason, I had wished for someone else... and that thought made me press my lips together.

'Where are you?' I read before blinking a few times.

I checked the time, noticing that I was late, and let out a low 'fuck!' before I ran inside. Deep down, I just hoped that this visit at the museum wouldn't be too awkward and hopefully, things would get solved between Niall and I. I thought about asking Louis but I decided to keep him out of this. I was a big girl, I could work this out by myself, right?

[imgoingtohellsofuckit]

Hope Can’t Fix Everything pt 2

Jasper x Human! Reader

Warnings - angsty 

Summary - Jasper tries to make it right

part one 

Jasper had royally fucked up. And he knew it. He knew that he ruined his chance with his mate. One mistake would destroy the entire lifetime they were supposed to have together. Carlisle made Jasper skip the next week of school. Mostly to get him to calm down. But also to make sure nothing else happened. Progress into vegetarianism for vampires isn't exactly linear mistakes are bound to happen. Carlisle honestly was expecting for a slip up- if not from Jasper then from one of the others. However the slip up wasn't what was crushing Jasper. Sure he felt absolutely terrible for snapping on his mate but- seeing that his mate was terrified of him, disgusted by him. He was crushed. And with having to stay home and away from everyone else was just causing him to spiral.

Finally after a week Jasper went back to school. But he didn't feel any comfort. He learned from Alice and Bella that Y/n didn't tell anyone anything that happened. They kept their near death a secret. However he also learned that they were avoiding the Cullen clan as much as she can. He didn't know if them not telling was a good thing. If it meant that maybe they could talk about it- or if they just didn't know how to explain it to anyone else with out sounding crazy.

"You freak!"

"Mr. Hale," The teacher calls snapping him from replaying the memory for the millionth time. "Are you okay?"

Jasper wanted to laugh. Okay? No. He's never been okay. Not in his 100 plus years of being a vampire has he once been okay. No that is a lie. He was okay with Y/n. He finally felt like he had something in his life that made his eternal life worth something. And he scared that meaning away.

"Yes sir," Jasper says softly, "just tired."

He could feel the eyes of a couple of his classmates on him. Watching him curiously.

"I heard he and Y/n broke up," The girl behind him whispers to her friend, "apparently it was messy."

"Where did you hear that?" The friend asks.

"Everyone is talking about it," The girl says, "Mary Spencer said she saw then go up to the Lake Frisky then saw Y/n flying out of there a hour later. Apparently in such a hurry she almost hit Mary. And I haven't seen the two as much as look at each other since he got back."

"Wow," The friend says, "what do you think happened?"

"Who knows," The girl says, "Tracey Catcher thinks that Jasper is hooking up with one of his adopted sisters. The little one Alice. Maybe Y/n found out."

Jasper scoffs lightly. This is stupid. Listening to everyone talk like they know what's happening. Feeling the emotions of everyone in the room as they pry and poke into his failed attempt of a love life. He feels his own anger bubble up. Getting more and more intense as he catches more of the harsh whispers. Before he can snap the bell rings loudly. Bringing him back to his senses. He sighs slipping from the classroom to the lunchroom. He meets the others at their lunch table. However the complete lack of you in your spot at the table makes his heart ache.

"Jasper," Alice says softly as he sits down, "how are you holding up?"

He doesn't say anything. Instead his eyes search the cafeteria for his mate. Looking over the mess of kids at tables. Finally he sees them across the lunchroom. Sitting with a couple of their friends. They don't seem interested in whatever their friends are talking about. He watches them as they pick at their lunch. He wishes he could read minds and figure out what he needs to say to make this all better. But then he thinks about all things that could be on their mind. Things he couldn't handle. Your perspective of the memory.

"Jasper get out of your head," Edward says carefully.

"How about you get out of my head," Jasper says firmly.

"Jasper you need to calm down," Rose says, "getting mad at Edward while amusing, isn't going to fix your problems."

"I just- how do I even begin to fix this?" Jasper says softly, "I almost killed them. They begged me to stop to back away and I ignored them. I'm a monster."

"You sound like Edward," Emmet says laughing lightly.

"This is serious," Jasper says, "what do I even say? What do I do?"

"You need to talk to them," Alice says simply, "try to explain. Try to make them understand. Promise it won't happen again."

"And what if it does?" Jasper asks softly, "what if it happens again but you guys don't get there fast enough huh? What if I killed them?"

"Jasper you aren't thinking-" Bella says softly.

"He is," Edward says, "he thinks we all should leave."

"Oh come on we saw how that worked out with Bella," Rose says.

"It was different then," Jasper says, "Bella wanted to hang on. Y/n doesn't want to. They want normal. A average life with kids and a big house in a sunny place. I can't give that to them."

"Jas," Alice says softly.

"This is your mate," Rose says, "and you'd leave them?"

"I'd rather them be happy and alive then be with me and regret everything," Jasper says, "it's the best decision. And after what happened. I don't need to put their laugh at risk. It was stupid of me."

"You can't leave your mate," Bella says, "you love them."

"I do love them and that's why I'm making this choice," Jasper says, "I can't trust myself not to hurt them. It's not your decision it's mine. And I've made my mind up. We're leaving. Carlisle is already preparing for us to leave."

"You're making a mistake-"

"Maybe I am," Jas says, "but if it saves their life... I don't really care."

No one else could argue. Because at the end of the day... They believed he was right. None of them think he'd ever hurt his mate on purpose but... on accident. Another incident like the last one. It's possible and sure leaving his mate hurts but watching them die. Know he caused it. That would be a whole other level of pain. He wouldn't be able to live like that. So the Cullens decided to move again. As they were preparing the move Jasper was sneaking every last glance at you. Trying to memorize their body, their scent. Everything about them. If he has to leave he wants to prepare to severe the ties. Not that it was hard. Y/n wanted nothing to do with him. Swapping seats, ignoring his texts. Not sparing him even so much as a passing glance.

'It's for the better' Jasper reminds himself. If he disappears like this- when they already clearly doesn't want him around them then it won't hurt them. It won't break them like leaving broke Bella. They won't try to do anything to bring Jasper back. They'll let the relationship fade into nothing but memories. Just like it needs to.

After a couple days they had everything packed. Loaded up and ready to go. Esme and Carlisle had went ahead to get everything ready at the newest house. Everyone else was getting ready to leave. However they remained with Jasper as he stalls. His focus on a box full of things.

"Are you ready?" Alice asks Jasper. The blond looks down at the picture of him and his mate. He bites his lip lightly. No. He doesn't want to leave. He wants to pull his mate into his arms and hold them until the end. He doesn't want to run away.

"I want a minute," He says softly, "ya know to collect my thoughts."

"Okay," Alice says, "we'll be on our way then. Come on guys." Rose and Emmet leave with her. However Bella stays back for a second.

"Jasper," She says softly, "you know they deserve closure for all this."

"The closure is me leaving," Jasper says, "I can't hurt them if I'm not here."

"Whatever," Bella says, "I can't make you do this right. Come on Edward."

The two join the other vampires starting to pack into their cars. The go, leaving Jasper alone in the empty house. He sighs as he stares into the box of his things from his relationship. Pictures, mementos from dates, things she'd give him. He felt guilty. He felt like the world was punishing him for his past sins. As if Y/n being his mate was a cruel joke fate was playing on him. Give him the most amazing soulmate then just- make him not able to be with them. Not trust himself to protect them. To save them from himself. Hw wants to trust his hope. That maybe somehow someway he'd see them again. And they'd be able to be happy. He wants to hope for that future. But fate would never let him have it.

"So the rumors are true?" He hears a soft voice asks. He looks away from the box and turns to see his mate. His eyes widen. This can't be real. There is no way they are actually here. But it looks so real. His mate. His love. Right there. So close he could touch them. He wants to. He wants to take their hand and pull them into a soft kiss. But he knows that will only make it more painful. "You're really moving away and you aren't even saying goodbye."

"Carlisle got a new job," He lies, "a town needing doctors..."

"Bella told me you were leaving because of me," They say softly making whatever his lie was going to be pointless, "said that I should come down here and talk to you before you leave."

"You didn't have to," He says, "it was a bad idea. You should go home."

"I think I deserve an explanation," They say, "I mean- I wanna know what happened at the lake."

He tenses. He didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to go over it. He wanted to just move on. Just leave. Run away from his problems.

"It's only fair to me," They say softly, "if you get to just leave- then I get to know."

"I'm leaving so you don't need an explanation," Jas says, "I'm leaving so you can forget what happened and me."

"I don't want to forget you Jas," They say.

"Well you should," Jasper says, "I'm not good for you."

"You don't get to decide that," They say firmly, "you don't know if you're too good for me."

"Y/n I am a monster!" Jasper snaps, "I almost killed you at the lake. If my family was any later you'd be dead. If I'm around you won't be safe."

"But I'll have you," They mumble.

"That's stupid," Jasper says, "you'd risk your life to be around a monster-"

"You're not a monster," They say, "I know you Jasper you are a great guy-"

"I'm a beast," He says, "you know that. I could kill you. I can tell how you feel. And you're scared. You're afraid of me."

"I'm afraid of losing you," They say tearing up, "Jasper I love you! I want you to stay here with me. Whatever you're going through- whatever is happening to you. I want to be there for you. To support you- to ease the pain. Because I am in love with you Jasper."

He wants to pull them in his arms and never let go. But he knows that it's dangerous. That he shouldn't be allowed to be this close to them after what happened. He backs away.

"Jasper please just talk to me," They say, "what's happening?"

"I am not normal," He says, "I'm a vampire- I'm a monster. I kill people." They stay silent. "I've killed so many people. Sometimes I don't mean it. And I tried to stop. But its so strong- the hunger.  The bloodlust- When I look at you it's so painful because I won't to protect you but I also want to devour you."

"You wouldn't hurt me," They say boldly.

"I almost killed you."

"You hesitated," They point out, "and when they knocked you away you stopped."

"That means nothing," Jasper says, "who is to say that they could do that again?"

"I say they won't have to," Y/n says, "because you won't hurt me. Because I know you love me as well."

"Y/n I'm leaving tonight," He says, "there is no changing my mind."

"So you leave," They say, "fine- I wanna come with you."

"No you have a life here- you have family here," He says, "you'll get the life you want if you stay away from me-"

"The life I want is with you," They say, "Jasper don't walk away from us."

"I'm doing this for you," He says, "I doing this to keep you alive. I'm doing this because i love you so much and I want you to have everything you've always wanted." They move closer taking his hands into theirs.

"Jas-"

"I need to be stronger if I want to be with you," he says, "I need to have more control. And I will make sure I have that control and maybe if you'll still have me- then we can get together. But now? I can't risk hurting you- or losing you. So please. Please understand I'm not doing this without thinking. Because I've thought of every alternative and this is the only solution that will work."

"Jas," They whimper.

"I promise this won't be the end of us," He says, "one day- we'll find each other again."

Y/n moves pulling Jasper into a soft kiss. He moves deepening it. Making the one kiss last for all the years they won't have each other. After a while he finally breaks the kiss so his partner can breath.

"I'm sorry," He says softly.

"I love you Jasper," They say.

"I love you Y/n," He says, "we'll meet again."

He hugs them tightly. Then steps from the house climbing into his car. He'll see them again. He has hope that he'll see them again.

@whattheheckisevengoingon @treestarrrrrrrr​ @thequeendesi​

[7-seasof-fandom]

Forgotten childhood friendships

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13727611/2/A-messy-family

I couldn't sleep last night, so here's a fic. I hope you enjoy it!

Big thank you to my lovely husband @deadliest-little-thing for proofreading this!! :) you're the best, love

"You know what, Vanya, I used to really like you," Five said, trying to not let his frustration show. It was hard though. They used to be so close, Vanya was the one person Five could go to when all the Umbrella Academy stuff was too much, she was the one person who understood how to get through to him when he was driving himself too far and she was one of the easiest to talk to. She had always understood him and he had understood her. They had trusted each other in a way that had felt so intimate and safe. Now he could barely recognize her and it stung. On top of that, the pain and confusion seemed to be one sided.

"Right, when I was quiet and compliant and did whatever you wanted me to," Vanya snapped back, giving him a challenging look. Five had to bite his tongue to not take her up on the unspoken dare. "Well, I'm done being controlled, Five," Vanya growled, stepping closer. He realized in horror that her eyes were starting to glow. He swallowed thickly, instinctively taking a step back. All safety Vanya had ever made him feel, vaporized like dew in the sun.

He was suddenly unsure of everything. The predator was suddenly prey. Five felt like he was in a free fall. He tried to breathe but instead his mouth just opened and closed, like a stranded fish gasping for oxygen.

Vanya gave him a triumphant smile, clearly enjoying his panic. Five tried to force his breathing under control. Just that one thing. He needed to be in control of that one thing in a situation where he suddenly had absolutely none. He felt like his whole world had done a 180 and it was still spinning.

"That's not what I meant," he tried, his voice pathetically hoarse and weak. He shook his head, trying to shake off the images that started to creep into his mind. Vanya let out a laugh. It sounded a terrible lot like her violin. Five felt nausea arise and once again had to swallow thickly. He rubbed at his sore chest, trying to force out another sentence. "I just meant that I miss the Vanya who cared about other people," he mumbled. He bit his cheek in an attempt to make sure nothing other than words came out, but it was in vain, as he had to rush past her to empty the content of his stomach into their father's favorite vase.

A weak groan escaped his lips as he leaned against the table, holding on to the vase, his arms were shaking under his weight. He could feel Vanya's glare from behind him and for a moment he was overwhelmed by the urge to run away and hide, but he was too weak, too exhausted. They were all gonna die- they were- he shook his head, snapping himself out of it. This wasn't the apocalypse, just an absolutely awful situation. He sucked in a shaky breath, turning around to face Vanya as he still leaned on the table for support.

Vanya gave him a look which was painfully familiar. Gosh he missed her... "You okay, Five?" she asked, worry seeping into every letter of the question. Five wanted to laugh, but he was afraid that if he opened his mouth he'd have to pay the vase another visit, so instead he just stared at her, wondering at what point her becoming her own person had meant that they couldn't be friends. Sure, he was an asshole, he knew he was an asshole, but... he tried, right? It was hard, but he tried and somehow, with Vanya, it hadn't been as hard. But even so, he had clearly failed, because out of all of his siblings, Vanya actually seemed to be the one to despise him most.

"Five, I didn't get free of Dad and Leonard just for my own brother to tell me that he liked me better before I got to be myself and make my own choices," she hissed in frustration. Apparently she couldn't even call him out for his behavior without him playing the victim.

"That's not what I meant," he mumbled, choking on air mid sentence. He gasped, staring at a discoloured tile on the floor, wondering if it had always been like that. It seemed to sway from side to side, unable to stand still. Five realized, as his head hit the table, that he was the one struggling to stay still.

Then everything turned black until the sound of a violin playing overtook the darkness wirh a brightness so bright that it hurt and made his head puls and throb with pain. His whole body felt like it was burning up. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't move. He couldn't- he bolted up from the bed, gasping for air. The violin music slowly faded away, instead turning into a familiar, comforting humming. Grace was by his side, a wet cloth in her hand. She grabbed his shoulder to support him and help him lay down, as he was overcome by dizziness.

Laying back down he noticed Vanya by the side of his bed, a worried look on her face. Made sense, she just almost killed them- then he realized the apocalypse was months ago. It had just been a nightmare. Then, what was she so worried about? He was brought out of his thoughts by the wet cloth being placed on his forehead. He shivered. Why was it so cold? Grace gently touched her hand against his cheek. It stung like ice. "You're burning up, sweetie," she told him, softly. Then she continued humming and doing the same stuff she would always do when any of them were sick. Then, to Five's dread, she left him and Vanya alone.

Five threw a quick glance at his sister, before reverting his eyes to the ceiling, trying to ignore the jolt of anxiety he felt when looking at her. Five was sick from pushing himself too far, as he had so many times before and for the first time in 45 years Vanya was by his side as she had been so many times before, only this time nothing was like it ever had been. He pressed his lips together, trying to hold back a whimper at how unfamiliar this familiar situation was, but to his great regret he failed.

He could hear Vanya shift in the chair beside him. "You shouldn't push yourself so much... I would've thought you knew better by now," there was worry in her voice, but also something else, something strange. It didn't sound right with Vanya's voice, but he had grown to become more acquainted with it than he'd like. "Especially with how you always tell everyone else what to do," she added, dismay shining through clearly in her voice. Five found himself wondering if she had really stayed with him while he was passed out just to continue their argument.

"Well, I've gotta make myself useful somehow," he mumbled. Ignoring the sting in his chest. Vanya looked at him with an alarm, but she didn't say anything. Five didn't want her to anyways. If he allowed his mind to get numb enough, he was back to being thirteen years old and him and Vanya were just enjoying each other's company in silence. They were good at that. Just sitting in silence, but still saying more than most. However, after he came back, it seemed like a thousand words didn't even hold up to one.

He let out a sigh. Things really were just so much simpler when you were a kid, weren't they? He tried to ignore Vanya's stare, instead fidgeting with the edge of his blanket. He remembered how he and Vanya had once built a fort out of the blankets and pillows from their room. Ben had helped. He really missed them a lot. Ben was dead, gone. Far away and out his of reach and even though Vanya was right there, right beside him, she somehow seemed to be even further away.

As he thought back to faded childhood memories, he couldn't help the stain that now was on them, caused by the thought that apparently Vanya didn't think fondly of them, like he did. Had she even wanted to be his friend or had he just forced her? He swallowed thickly, sending the bucket beside his bed a glance. Was he just as bad as their dad? He tightened his grip around the blanket, his hands visibly shaking from the tension, but what did that matter anyways?

He stared at the ceiling for what felt like forever, memory after memory replaying in his mind. Each of them stained. "I'm sorry," he blurted out. His mouth felt dry like sandpaper. His words broken and worn. Way too late. Vanya tilted her head, trying to catch his eyes, but he couldn't make himself meet hers. "I just wanted to be your friend. I thought I was," he continued, hoping she didn't notice the tear running down his cheek. It stung like a needle, as it fell down his skin.

Vanya felt like all air had been sucked out of her, as realization hit her and all satisfaction she had felt at Five's discomfort turned into guilt. She looked at her brother, who was very obviously trying to hide his tears, but at this point they were running freely. She leaned close, trying to help him wipe the tears away. As her hands made contact with his burning hot cheeks, he froze at her touch. For a moment she feared that he'd flinch away, but instead he leaned into it, allowing her to cup his cheek.

"I'm sorry too, Five... I didn't realize."

He looked at her for a moment, before closing his eyes and leaning his face even more against her hand. "It's a'ight," he mumbled, clearly struggling to hold back a yawn. "I'm an assssshole all the time, it's only... hmmm... it's only fair, y'know?" She didn't even get to respond before she was yanked forward as Five suddenly decided to lay back down. He apparently fell asleep right then and there and took her hand down with him. She couldn't hold back a laugh, which startled him awake.

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Vanyyyya. You're soooo loud... I still love youu thoughhhh," He slurred, looking at her with sleepy puppy eyes. Vanya couldn't help the soft smile that spread across her face, even as she had to try to find a comfortable position with her hand stuck as Five's pillow. Five clumsily moved to the side, making room for her on the bed, but still not letting go of her hand. "It might as well be your hand now," she joked. Five just snorted, snuggling close to her as soon as she laid down beside him.

She ran her free hand through his hair, which she then realized was wet with sweat. "Ew," she mumbled, pulling him closer as she tried not to worry about how much he was clearly trembling. She took it as a good sign that he was holding on to her too. That meant he still had some strength left. She felt another sting of guilt. She hadn't realized how sick he was. Back when they were kids she was always the one he told, always the one who knew even if he didn't tell. Things were so much simpler back the, she thought, as she kissed the top of his head. They'd be okay though. They had each other, and it would obviously take a lot of work, but they could work this out. They always had.

[v-velvetykisscs]

Safety Net

Note: here’s the update after two months. I’m so sorry, I’ve been going through personal stuff and school has been stressing me out like crazy. Hope you like this !!

Chapter 2:

My heartbeat is ringing in my ears. I watch the figures in the passenger seat attentively, whilst inhaling deeply and exhaling once again. 10 minutes have passed inside of this car, and not a single word has been spoken by Historia or either of the people in the driver and passenger seat. My palms are moist and a warm rush passes through my body. I dig my nails into the soft, damp skin of my palms. My eyes divert to the window of the car, following the fleeting street lights with my eyes before screwing my eyes shut. I'm going to be sick. This dread has formed a coiled-up knot in my stomach, I fear it'll travel up my throat and out.

"What is this?" I state firmly.

Historia turns her head away from her black ballet flats to look at me, rigid strands of her golden hair falling onto her face. Her eyes widen and her eyebrows furrow. She purses her lips as she looks away from me.

I stare furiously into the rear-view mirror.

"Who are you guys?"

The man in the driver's seat, pushes his glasses down onto the bridge of his nose and makes eye contact with me. His dark, thick eyebrows are relaxed and his chocolatey eyes pour indirectly into mine.

"So she didn't tell you."

I've seen those eyes somewhere.

"No, why would I be asking?"

As if on cue, he stops at the red light, turning around slowly.

"She's a feisty one, Krista."

He sports a light brown messy hair-do and leather jacket as a replacement for the white shirt, brown waistcoat and black bow tie.

"What the fuck?! I recognise you, you're the bartender I spoke to back there."

"I'm Jean, Sugar Cube." he smirks, quirking an eyebrow.

I spare him a glance before waiting for the other to speak.

"And I'm Armin." A shorter, skinnier man speaks quietly before turning to give me a small smile. He has short, straw-blonde hair and dusty blue eyes.

"Nice to meet you, although this doesn't answer my question."

The red-light fades to green and Jean turns around and pushes the pedal, resuming his driving.

I focus on Historia again, waiting for her to give me a response.

"I swear I was going to tell you-"

"And I was there to make sure that she would, but when I realised you ran into trouble, I got my baby ready for a swift escape." Jean intervenes.

"Who do you work for?"

"I work at Yeager Corporations, Jean and Armin are my colleagues."

"And where are they taking us?"

"The HQ. It's the safest place at the moment." Armin butts in promptly.

"You obviously don't know the first thing about me but I would definitely feel much safer within the walls of my house."

"I'm sure anyone would, but right now we need to make it to HQ, where the boss will know what to do."

...

I eye the pair as they slam the front doors of the vehicle and walk to either side of the car to prompt the doors open for us.

I huff, snatching my messenger bag up from the floor, reaching for the door handle. I hold onto it. Jean notices and frowns a little. He speaks loud enough for me to hear him through the glass with a muffle. "Allow me." he insists. I let go of the door handle and wait for him. He moves to the side and I step out of the car. "Thank you" I fix the neat rows of cars parked opposite us instead of making eye contact.

Historia falls behind and walks besides me.

"Why didn't you tell me anything?"

"Because there's more to it."

"God you sound so morbid. Look, I've covered your ass more times than I seem to recall, so nothing you do shocks me. I know you better than anyone else."

"But this is different."

I pause.

"Different how?"

"We're nearly there, ladies."

"Alright Jean."

She wobbles forward as she tries to walk faster than before to avoid resuming our conversation. I glance at her injured foot; her ankle is bruised and battered with purple and blue. It looks as if it's swelling. I move up next to her and hold her arm, putting it gently around my shoulder to support her. I look away from her. There's an elevator. The boys pause and we walk a few more steps. Armin's finger skims over the numbers. He pushes the button. After a while, the metallic doors slide open smoothly.

Stepping out of the lift, Armin strides forward, his shoes clunking somewhat gracefully onto the white marble tiles. Jean follows quickly behind, not wanting to be the one left behind to tail the group. He puffs his chest out, straightening his posture to make himself seem taller and more intimidating. He turns and gives me a side smirk, but I scoff and roll my eyes, not allowing myself to associate with that heathen. Historia places a hand on your shoulder almost comfortingly, ushering you to follow behind Armin and that cocky bastard Jean. I exhale defeatedly, having no choice but to follow along and play their stupid little game. Historia whimpers, her ankle still being in moderate pain and currently untreated. This left her hopeless at the back, hopping along and trying to keep up with everyone else's paces. I check back on Historia every so often to make sure she's okay, and the lift door shuts, leaving only the cityscape lights to illuminate the room. I think to myself for a moment, how blindingly bright it must be here on a sunny day, the room being mostly white, and white being a reflective colour. Is that why mafia bosses wear sunglasses? I guess we'll never know. Focusing myself again, I turn back around to face the backs of Armin and Jean, whispering to one another, Armin occasionally glancing back at me.

"So.. where are we going?" I ask, feeling quite awkward being sandwiched between these weirdos. There was no response from either of them. Only the low chatter and the monotonous sound of a few keyboards typing away filled the silence. In fact, they both stopped whispering and continued to walk. I narrow my eyes, balling my hands into a fist and beginning to pierce my skin with my nails.

"Hello? I know the two of you aren't fucking deaf." This was a bold move from me, adrenaline rushing through my body as my anger levels continued to rise, them both still ignoring me. These fuckers. I look back at Historia hopelessly, asking for assistance with my eyes. She just stares back blankly at me, trying to keep her own balance whilst walking, leaving me to debate whether I should just throw a tantrum in the middle of the workroom, there and then, oblivious to the consequences.

"What the FUCK is this." I raise my voice this time, close to a yell. They both stop and look at each other, then turning back around to me. The sound of Historia's shoes stopped behind me. I gulped, looking up at the two of them. "Our workroom." Armin would finally reply, scarily calm.

Jean intervenes "It's our condo. We make business here, We drink and eat and socialise. No need to get so worked up, you little lemon. We're nearly there."

I let a short, humourless laugh escape, pulling my lips into a horrid smile. Jean smiles, unbothered by my sour attitude. "Bye Hitch!" Jean exclaims, waving at someone; a woman, in chunky, leather Dr. Martens black boots, red fishnet tights, a red lingerie silk dress with a khaki green jacket. She's carrying a black duffel back over her shoulder. She waves back at him with her free hand, smirking. "You have a goodnight" he says to himself. We make a right turn, down a corridor, past white office doors with plastic plaques. We walk past a red haired man, sliding a piece of paper with printed lettering through one of the transparent plates. "Still on prep duty I see, Floch." Jean blurts as he passes the man.

"Shut up Horseface." he retorts bitterly, sparing a quick glance at me before returning to his job. A few steps away sits a nameless mahogany door. Armin takes a nimble step forward, knocking on the door softly. When no one responds, Jean twists the door handle, leaving the door ajar. He slips through and we follow. The room is illuminated by a dim light dangling from the ceiling, above a round, oak table. The table is littered with playing cards, 3 cans of coke and 3 open packets of potato chips on the surface, crumbs splayed all over. The space smells of cheap lavender diffuser. Two people are sitting at the table, simultaneously turning their heads around to look at the commotion. One of them- a woman- with long brown hair, tied back in a dishevelled ponytail and beige skin, has potato chips crumbs on her face. Her chocolate eyes widen at the sight of us. The other, a man- has a buzz cut with prominent, light green eyes that mirror the woman's expression.

"Oh- Jean! We didn't expect you to pay us a visit. Otherwise I might've thought about saving you some of these." The woman admits, her tone guilty as she looks down at the empty, open crisps packets.

"Oh spare me the apology Sasha, these things have a lot of calories in them anyway. I was hoping you'd know where I can find Jaeger."

"Jaeger? He should be in his office, working late." The man adds.

"Thanks Connie."

Connie nods, craning his neck and swinging his chair back, his hands holding the table as he gazes at me curiously.

"Who's this?"

"Y/n, Y/n L/n." I respond before Jean can

Sasha laughs loudly, seeming to have heard that.

We've now walked back to the main lobby and steered towards a set of a coiling staircase. I pause at the bottom of the stairs, grabbing Historia's arm gently. " I'm not letting you go further in the state you're in." I eye Armin, his eyes already fixated on me. "Will you please take care of her?"

Armin nods sharply, walking towards Historia.

"Y/N, I'm okay-" She begins, but I turn around beginning to walk up the steps. "Lead the way" I ordered Jean. At the top, Jean saunters over to a pair of opaque double doors. Next to those are 3 velvet cushion chairs. I stare at him as he brings his fist up on the door, to knock gently.

I gulp.

"Come in." a voice from within says clearly, with a neutral tone.

[chocochar]

ᴍɪꜱꜱᴇᴅ ᴍᴇ? | ᴅᴀʙɪ/ᴛᴏᴜʏᴀ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ | ᴘᴀʀᴛ 1: ʙᴀᴄᴋ ʜᴏᴍᴇ

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Valentine’s Special | Part 6: TBA

(AN: feel free to skip this first part of the AN, slight spoilers for the story ahead!: Okay so before we start some quick notes: 

Reader and Dabi are 25 presently, Dabi is the eldest sibling with the others being their canon ages.

(I’m mentioning this next part here because I couldn’t figure out how to add it to the title eue) Reader and Touya went to school together since their first year of middle school.

She had gotten pregnant at around 15 with Touya’s baby (this all gets explained!) but given this follows the Touya theory he ‘died’ so she’s a single mom.

I was sorta iffy posting this fic, because I wasn’t sure if it would get any attention, but I’m also excited to do it so... Here you go? lol

Reader’s quirk: Mirror: The ability to make a large force field spanning up to 30 feet or smaller force fields to protect people within it/them. When projectiles hit the fields they are deflected, when non ranged attacks hit them they bounce off. )

[F/n’s POV]

        It’s been 10 years already, since I last saw Touya Todoroki. Even now it feels like almost yesterday his ashes were found in his room at the Todoroki house. I still remember Fuyumi calling me in tears, sobbing nearly to the point she was inaudible and she had to repeat herself more than once. I was 15, pregnant, and finding out my boyfriend for a little over a year had cremated himself, I went into shock before I broke down. My mom was there fortunately, and held me as I shook with sobs.

        “I didn’t even tell him, mom!” I remember screaming over and over until my voice gave out. It was a bad dream, it had to be right? I hoped that every night for a year that I’d wake up to a call from him telling me to get up, that he was outside my house waiting to walk to school.

        But the calls never came, I only saw and talked to Fuyumi and later Natsuo after that; like me they seemed so numb, after all their mom had been sent to a hospital shortly before, their little brother was a complete stranger thanks to their father, and then Touya was gone… I was there for them as much as I could; my mom shortly after Touya’s death moved us a few cities away too, resulting in me changing schools to attend a normal high school. UA became a far away dream along with my future as a hero; this baby became most important to me, it was going to be the last connection I would have to Touya.

        After Kaoru was born it became hard to focus on school and homework, but I pushed through, my mom and older sister Rina helping me with him along the way, and soon enough I was graduated and working towards a career in the police force. Becoming a hero then… It stayed a faraway dream, plus I still wanted to help people.

        “Are you sure about this? Rina and I have already said-”

        “Mom,” I stopped her, smiling while I fed a then 3 year old Karou,”It’ll be fine, plus my quirk will help with hostage situations and raids no matter what. I’ll be a hero in a way still even if it isn’t a pro.”

        Even with my words and smile I don’t think she believed me, but she helped me either way. She was a single mom young, raising Rina and me by herself, so she understood.

        I eventually told Natsuo first about Kaoru and let them meet so long as this big news was kept from his father. Fuyumi was next, and while she tried to convince me to let Kaoru meet his grandfather (if you can even call him that, much less a father) I told her I wasn’t comfortable with it. Especially when Kaoru’s quirk came in: My force fields along with his father’s powerful fire? Not an easy combo when your son wants to try out his new powers. Last to meet him was Rei, and surprisingly Shouto who was visiting his mom, last month; Karou by this point was 10, and while I was surprised to see Shouto so grown up from the pictures I saw (and feeling bad it took so long to bring Kaoru to finally meet his other grandma) they were even more shocked by the little redhead clinging to my leg.

        Kaoru… Looks just like a mini version of his dad: messy, wild red hair, bright blue eyes, pale skin (with a slight mix of my (skin color)), just like Touya. The only thing resembling me is the streak of (hair color) in one of his bangs. Rina and Natsuo have taken part in jokingly calling him ‘Chibi’ but it doesn’t seem to bother him much; he’s a calm little guy, a lot like his dad in personality too although he gets his brains from me.~

        Now 25 I’m a police officer, working mainly on tracking cases and hostage situations. Kaoru and I moved back to Musutafu two weeks ago due to me transferring to the station there; with his problems handling his quirk I was hesitant but it made it easier for him to see his other family and I’ve considered asking Shouto if he or one of his friends can help his nephew learn to conquer this power.

        Things seem… Okay. But moving back I can’t help but get this feeling something will change. I just can’t place my finger on it.

[X][X][X]

        “Alright, Kaoru, do you have your bag?”

        “Yes mom.”

        “All your books inside? Did you double check?”

        “Yes mom.”

        Smiling I hand Kaoru his bento to also slip into his bag after I tuck mine into my own. 

        “Good, I made some yummy stuff this morning, there’s some extra so if Hari-chan wants to try any of it you should share a little,” I tell him while slinging my bag over my shoulder. I watch his cheeks turn pink at the mention of his best friend/crush and bite my lip so I don’t giggle. So cute.~

        The two of us leave the apartment and start walking to the stairs, the morning peaceful at least as we head down the steps and start on our way. People pass the two of us as we weave our way through the crowds, people going to their jobs or schools just like Kaoru and me; it’s silent between us, although Kaoru doesn’t talk much normally but Natsuo has been trying to get him out of his shell. 

        “What do you want for dinner tonight?” I ask him, glancing down while we wait to cross the street. He shrugs, meeting my eyes.

        “I don’t really mind anything, I guess oyakodon?” He replies, the crossing light changing and the two of us following the crowd.

        “Oh that sounds delicious! Alright then, I’ll pick you up from Hari-chan’s house after I get off work and we’ll head to the store to get anything we need, okay?” I tell him, Kaoru nodding while the breeze blows through his crimson locks. Looking down at him I sigh, patting his head feeling his hair. “I keep telling you to brush it, Kao,” I smile, the little guy tilting his head away from my hand and scratching the back of it.

        “Natsu-oji said it looks cool, he said it’s how dad started to do his…”

        I go stiff immediately, remembering him again. My eyes watch ahead as my brain swirls with memories I had pushed to the back of my mind a while ago; I keep him in my thoughts of course, it just is painful to regularly remember Touya. Kaoru looks more and more like him as he gets older, from his messy crimson locks to the way he smiles, which makes me both happy and a bit depressed. He never got to see him, he’ll never get to see him grow… My chest tightens thinking about this.

        “Mom?” I stop abruptly and meet my son’s eyes, surprised and coming out of my stupor. He’s pointing to the left at another crosswalk and says,”We need to go this way.” I glance at the street sign realizing I was about to pass where we need to go while so lost in thought. Shaking my head I step next to him and wait, my mind steadily repressing those feelings and thoughts. Kaoru seems to have noticed my shift in mood as I feel his smaller hand take mine and hold it, my (eye color) eyes peering down in surprise. He doesn’t meet mine but I can tell he’s trying to comfort me as best he can while we’re waiting and giving his hand a squeeze we begin to cross when the light changes. 

        We reach his school first and kissing his forehead goodbye (much to his embarrassment) I wave as I hurry off to work.

[X][X][X]

        “Heyyy (F/n),” a voice that makes me inwardly groan speaks up. I stop what I’m typing to look up at Nanaka-san, another officer who’s only been here a few months more than me. He’s younger and seems to know what he’s doing, his quirk giving him the ability to suck in gases and fumes and use them to his own advantage, but he also, from what I’ve seen and heard, has done a few shady deals in the past. I try to steer clear of doing anything more than talking to him while at work. He grins down at me and turning in my chair to face him, he continues,”We’re all goin’ out drinking after work today, you free to join us?” ‘He knows I’m not…’ I think, rubbing my neck and shaking my head.

        “Nanaka, I told you not to ask,” Ira-senpai says, coming over as well. “(L/n)-san has a kid, remember?” 

        Nanaka, while trying not to show it, I can see he’s annoyed she even came over, replying,”Well he has other relatives, right? Can’t they pick him up and watch him?”

        “They work and stuff so I try not to bother them. Maybe another time, okay?” I smile, hoping he gets the hint this time. Fortunately he sighs, shrugging and going off to talk to another coworker. A sigh I didn’t realize I was holding releases while I sit back. “Ira-senpai, thank you. I can’t seem to get him to understand,” I tell her, the older woman’s arms crossed and a chuckle escaping her lips.

        “Just ignore him or let his words go in one ear and out the other, alright, (L/n)-san? He set his sights on you the moment you entered the office but as long as you deflect his advances he’ll move on,” she replies, patting my shoulder. “Tell Kaoru-chan I said ‘hi’ alright? I have to go check out some things on the League of Villains case.” With that she heads off to her desk and I watch her go before turning back to my work. The League of Villains… I too have also been looking into them but given my being new they’ve kept me a lot out of the loop. I only really know their names and appearances and the like, pulling them up in the database I glance over the information that’s accessible to me and read through them.

        ‘They’re kind of like boogeymen,’ I think, getting a look at the photos we do have of them. ‘Powerful yet elusive, they give nightmares to parents and children alike, and people are starting to wonder if they’ll be caught…’ I reach one specific person of interest who stands out: Dabi. His name, ‘cremation’, most likely derived from his quirk which… Uses bright blue flames allegedly powerful enough to cremate. The rest, for the most part, have their true names as well as their villain names but no one seems to know who he is. No crimes beyond the work with the league, no age but appears to be early to mid 20’s, no image but a description of black hair, messy, blue eyes, and scars lining his body along with staples seeming to keep his skin in tact maybe? After reading all of this I decide to check out any articles pertaining to the League, but all I find are mostly discussing ‘Tomura Shigaraki’, the attacks on the UA students, their involvement in the Shie Hassaikai situation, and All Might’s retirement. 

        I do find some murder cases where the victims were burned alive, including the hero Snatch, but they’re unsolved and there’s no suspect yet. Still, I keep it bookmarked for later.

        Standing I sigh as I pop my back. Sitting for most of the day can really take a toll on your body sometimes, especially when you’re used to going on missions regularly. Seeing I have about an hour left before I can head home I go grab some coffee before jumping back into filing case notes. I get halfway to the break room when my cell phone starts ringing and furrowing my brows I see it’s Hari’s mom calling me, which is a bit odd given she knows what time I’m off.

        “Hello?” I answer, pressing it up to my ear.

        “Oh (L/n)-san, thank goodness you answered!! It’s Kaoru, he’s having trouble controlling his quirk again!” Her voice is panicked and my eyes widen.

        Ever since his quirk came in he’s struggled to control it, and hearing Hari yelling trying to calm him down in the background I say,”I’ll be over soon!” I hang up and hurry to my boss’s office, knocking on the chief’s door. He luckily isn’t busy as I almost barge in and I’m guessing he can read my expression as he immediately looks worried. “Sir, am I okay to leave early? I hate to ask, b-but my son is in trouble!”

        Luckily he understands, this isn’t the first time Kaoru has had this problem since we moved here, but he replies,”Yes, you’re fine to leave now. But (L/n)... You might want to find a way to help him control it, before something happens.” The way he says it I look away and slowly nod, knowing better than to reply in case I say something I shouldn’t. Shutting the door I rush to my desk and grab my bag, logging off my computer, then running out of the station going as fast as I can to Hari’s house.

        When I get there it seems like things are under control again but I clearly see the damage; not only is Kaoru burned on his fingertips and hands but a wide circle of dead grass sit in their yard. Hari and her mom are rubbing his back when I arrive, all three on the front steps of their house and looking up when I'm jogging up to them. My son looks terrified, hiding his hands and having trouble meeting my eyes. 

        “... I’m sorry, mom,” he mumbles, the crack in his voice leaving a tightness in my chest. I quickly lean down and pull him into a hug, rubbing his back.

        “It’s okay, Kao, go get your stuff okay?” I tell him pulling back and getting him to look at me. He nods and turns, going inside to grab his things while I step back and run my fingers through my (hair color) locks. “Tsuachi-san, I’m sorry.”

        “Don’t worry, (L/n)-san,” Hari’s mom smiles sympathetically. “We’ll get the yard taken care of, I’m more concerned with Kaoru but he wouldn’t let me bandage him up.” I sigh, glancing at the ring again, knowing there’s nothing I can do but still trying to think of a way to fix that. “But (L/n)-san, I’m worried for when he’s at school,” she continues, and turning back to her I’m confused for a second. “Has he gotten any sort of training or something to help him learn to control it? I hear many kids struggle so have you thought about getting him maybe help from his dad’s side of the family.”

        “Of course, I’ve talked to his uncle about it, but he’s just in high school… He said he’d help him when he has the time, but lately he hasn’t…” I trail off, crossing my arms and looking down as I start to get lost in thought. Maybe I’ll go visit Shouto again or text him, see if he has any availability or if a friend of his is willing to help. His friend Midoriya offered too when I was talking to their group, maybe I can go talk to him too. I blink out of my thoughts and look up to see Kaoru is saying goodbye before facing me. He’s still having trouble looking at me, and I ruffle his hair as we start walking away, saying goodbye.

[X][X][X]

        The walk home is silent, people passing us and the streets not as busy since many people seem to still be at work. I glance at Kaoru a few times, not knowing what to say while he trails a step or two behind me still looking upset about earlier but trying to hide it. I rub my neck in thought, looking up at the sky and humming.

        “So how was school?” I ask, looking at him again.

        “It was okay,” he mumbles. I nod, and again the awkward quiet settles.

        “Did you like your lunch?”

        “Yeah.”

        “Kaoru, you know… Hari and her mom weren’t mad at you,” I say, deciding talking about earlier can’t be avoided. I catch the way his brows furrow and continue,”They’re just worried.”

        “I can’t help it mom,” he says back, making me go quiet as he finally starts to say more than a couple of words. He looks at his hands as he continues,”I-I keep trying, and trying, b-but it’s so hard, I don’t want to hurt anybody, a-and I’m scared…!” His voice cracks again and I can tell he’s trying to stop himself from crying. My brows furrow and I pet his hair, giving a soft smile.

        “Kaoru-” I go quiet when my phone buzzes and I pull it out, checking it while I keep walking. I hear my son stop in his tracks a few feet behind me.

        “A-are you really going to ask Shouto-oji to help me?” he asks. I halt too and look back at him, nodding.

        “Yep, in fact he just text me back,” I let him know, looking at my phone again. Luckily it looks like Shouto may be available this weekend so I start texting him back, telling him thanks and letting him know what times I’m open to meet and ask where he’d like us to go to do the training. “Uncle Shouto said he can probably do some training with you this weekend, what do you… think…” 

        My voice trails when I look back at Kaoru; he’s standing next to an alley between two shops and staring up at something. While that is already a bit alarming the expression on his face is what I notice the most. His blue eyes are wide and while he does look stiff he doesn’t look all that scared, more like he’s looking at something that’s left him frozen in place and curious. My brows furrow, my motherly instincts kicking in immediately as I start to come back over, asking,”Kaoru…?” But he blinks and looks at me suddenly, replying,”O-Oh really? I miss Sh-Shouto-oji, his ice is fun to slide on…”

        I don’t say anything for a moment and move in front of him, peering into the dark alley, hands ready to use my quirk if needed, and looking around. Notably I see the black marks almost like a fire had recently burned here, but other than that nothing. I’m confused, my eyes scanning over everything for any movement but again, nothing. That doesn’t stop me from taking Kaoru’s hand and saying,”Yeah… I’m sure he misses you too, honey…” I pull him away from the alley, wanting to hurry home.

        I don’t know what it was, but even if I couldn’t see anything in that alley… I could feel us being watched. I just hope my gut feeling earlier about moving back isn’t a bad sign.

(AN: Part 2 is already halfway done (Dabi comes in too!) so if this does well I’ll post that too. I have a looooot of ideas for this, and WARNING it is going to follow canon like.... Only a little. Like mentions to activities going on in the universe will happen but given this is about Dabi/Touya, (F/n), and Kaoru it’s obviously gonna stray from canon lol 

Anyways I hope you guys enjoy! Let me know if you wanna see more, maybe?)

[soyeahitsmiddleearth]

Dimension Jumping pt. 2

The Fellowship x Reader

Fluffy pants, creepy coworkers, and grocery lists. Fun times

Trigger warning: mentions of stalker.

After that kind of rocky introduction and confusing explanation of their quest and what they were doing exactly (also what happened to their wizard ‘Gandalf’) things began to work out better. 

At first, they were in a kind of panic since they aren’t able to destroy that ring thing if they’re in your world, but then you reminded them that they can’t destroy it, and this Sauron guy can’t get it. 

This seems to ease their worries a bit. 

It was very easy for you to get along with the two blond 'hobbit’ cousins Merry and Pippin, and Samwise is a wonderful help in the kitchen. Mr. Legolas kinda just awkwardly stands around most of the time (he doesn’t sleep apparently), while the 'dwarf’, Gimli, likes to bother said 'elf’ which you find to be quite amusing. The two actual human dudes seem to be the more authoritative figures here, so they help to keep everyone in check and ensure they don’t break anything.

Penny has, quite literally, fallen in love with that brown-haired bastard Aragorn, and you’ve sworn that if he breaks her little fluffy heart you’re going to fucking murder him. Lucky for him, it seems he is quite fond of her in return since he sometimes sits idly on your couch with her laying across his lap. This asshole must have dog treats in his pocket or something because there’s no way she would ditch you for some scraggly handsome stranger like in the movies. 

Of course, you don’t complain about it or anything, rather you just leave it and enjoy the fact that Penny is happy (while silently plotting his painful murder in your mind). 

You also had to show them how to work the bathroom, and after they got over their initial shock and awestruck, they all bathed (thank god for your poor nose) and you offered to go get them more clothes later on so you can figure out how to wash theirs.

Overall, it seems that everything is going smoothly and will continue to do so. 

You have yet to give them a chance to mess with your laptop or phone (or even the TV), but mostly because you’re afraid they’ll die of shock. 

Before you know it a week has passed, and not only are they still in your damn home but they’re so freaking well-behaved and polite you actually find yourself not wanting them to go. 

“Why do you wear those fluffy pants?” The sweet little Pippin asks. 

Everyone insists he and his cousin are mischievous little monsters, but you find them to be nothing but adorable and polite. “Because, my dear boy, they are really freaking comfortable. I’m gonna go to the store later and get all of you a pair. They will change your lives." 

His eyes grow wide at your overly dramatic description of fluffy pants and he suddenly seems excited, "Really? Some for all of us?" 

You nod your head with a bright smile on your face, lifting your leg up for him to touch it. "Feel how nice they are!" 

When Pippin places his hand on the soft, fuzzy fabric he looks surprised, "I don’t think I’ve felt trousers so soft before!" 

"Fluffy pants, Pippin. They’re called fluffy pants." 

"Fluffy pants.” He repeats in confirmation. 

His cousin, Merry, chose then to walk into the room, and when he sees the two of you he looks confused. “Pip, what are you doing?" 

"Oh! Merry, come here and feel these!” He exclaims, not bothering to answer his question. 

Merry does as he says, albeit hesitantly, but when his hands touch that miracle fabric he looks just as shocked, “You’ve got such peculiar clothing… I like it." 

"Well, I was just telling my buddy over here that I’m going to get everyone some and absolutely ruin your wardrobe since you’ll never want to wear anything but these ever again.” You tell him smugly, jumping to your feet suddenly, “Oh, I’ve gotta go do something. Keep an eye on Penny for me, won’t you?" 

Yeah, they don’t need to since she’s busy sleeping on a napping Aragorn, but you ask nonetheless. 

You retreat to another room and begin to organize the things you moved from your guest bedroom, wanting everything to be less cluttered while they stay here. 

The air mattress had to come out and everything because of how many there are, but you don’t mind a little extra work for some companionship in response. Heaven knows you need someone to keep you out of your own head.

While you’re neatening things, the blond elf guy walks in and observes you for a few moments, saying nothing and kinda just standing there. You turn after a minute or so and look at him questioningly, "Is there something I can help you with?" 

He doesn’t say anything right away, and so you grab a couple of books and straighten them while you wait. 

"What are you doing?” He asks instead of answering you (a very Pippin move). 

Despite your heart wanting you to be sarcastic in your reply you answer him seriously, “I’m cleaning up a bit since I had to take all of this stuff out of my guest room. It’s kinda messy if you couldn’t tell." 

You wipe your hands on your fluffy pants and smile at him. "I’m almost done. Did you need me for something?" 

He actually acknowledges your question this time with a shake of his head, "No. I wanted to see if you require any assistance." 

Ah, that makes sense. He definitely seems like the helpful type. 

"Oh, well some help would be nice. Maybe you could move those boxes,” you point to some cardboard boxes in the corner of the closet you shoved everything into, “over there.” You then point to a shelf that is mostly empty. 

He nods again and goes to do just that right away, and you go back to sorting through a box full of papers.

“What made you allow us to stay?” He suddenly inquires, lifting the boxes you asked for help with easily. 

You’re a bit surprised at his engagement in conversation and the topic he chose, but you answer despite that. “Well like I said before, I know a group of sad saps when I see it… I didn’t know you’d lost your friend, but I could tell something wasn’t right. And… I don’t know, your hobbits looked so hungry and tired, I couldn’t kick you all out and keep a clean conscience.” It’s true, but what you leave out is the desire you had for some company. Penny is more than enough, but recently you’ve been feeling lonely and inadequate, so you jumped on the opportunity to be useful in your monotone life. 

“There’s something you’re not saying.” He says it like a statement rather than a question, and while he’s right you only shrug. 

“My reasons are my own, but what I told you is my main explanation. Take it or leave it.” You don’t mean to act so cold and aloof, but the thinking about your flaws and recently depressive state only serves to dampen your mood. 

“I meant not to offend, I apologize if upset you. I was only curious." 

You smile at him over your shoulder apologetically yourself, "No, don’t say sorry. I’m just a bit cranky is all, haven’t been getting much sleep." 

He can tell that’s not the truth, but he nods anyway and lets it drop. 

Suddenly the sound of Penny barking reaches your ears, and you sigh knowing that someone is probably at the door. 

When she abruptly stops, you pause and decide to finish with the last small stack you have before going out to check.

Big mistake.

Once you walk out of the storage closet, you’re met with the sight of two hiding hobbits, and Aragorn at the  freaking  door. Your eyes widen in horror, and you turn and close the door in Legolas’ face before he can exit. 

When the door slams, someone pokes their head around the tall 'ranger’ and smiles. 

"Oh, Y/N there you are!" 

Uh oh, he’s not supposed to be there. 

"B-Brian, hey, what… what are you doing here?” You ask slowly, walking over to try and diffuse whatever situation is going on here. “I didn’t even know you knew my address…" 

He smiles brightly despite that and waves his hand, "Don’t worry about it, the boss gave it to me and told me to check up on you! You haven’t been answering your messages and this is the most work you’ve missed in the past, like, 4 years.” His tone is bright and cheery, but you can see behind that mask of pleasantries is nothing but a prying brat who has to know everything 24/7. 

You ignore your dark thoughts and simply smile at him in return, “Yes, well I’ve been very busy. And, actually, I texted Marissa about my absence for the week ahead of time, so I don’t see why she would send you. She told me that I can work from home until I’m ready to come back.” You never liked Brian. Much too nosy and too much of a snake for your liking.

You pull your phone out of your pocket and see that you have… holy shit, 43 missed messages? All from Brian? Ew, okay, that’s weird. 

But you decide not to comment on it.

“Right, well, who is this? I haven’t seen him before." 

Shoot. 

You look up at the brown-haired man sharply, then back at Brian. "W-Who, him? Oh, this is just my… boy…friend… Ara- Er, Aaron. He’s, uh, staying here because his house burned down.” God, you’re a horrible liar, but you try to keep your face straight either way. “Who he is doesn’t matter, I’m kinda busy right now so if you could just…" 

You go to close the door, but he only steps a bit closer, "Wait-! I didn’t know you have a boyfriend!” His expression is more panic stricken now, and dare I say upset,

Ughhhhh  fucking Brian . 

Suddenly a voice pipes up from behind you, “Is there an issue over here?" 

Oh great, another challenger has appeared, and his name is freaking Boromir. 

"Wait, who is this then?” His countenance goes kinda sour, “Your other boyfriend?" 

You face-palm and slowly drag your hand down your cheek, groaning internally at his horrible timing (also electing to ignore Brian’s bitter comment). "This is… Aaron’s druggie brother, Bo…Beau. He likes meth.”

Brian looks alarmed at your mention of him being a meth head, but you only smile and internally kick yourself for coming up with something like that . “You have crackheads staying at your house?! With how you’ve been recently?! S-Should I-" 

You only shake your head once and slam your hand on the wall, "Brian, I am a big girl, and big girls don’t need their  coworkers  to keep them safe. I’ve been nice, but what I do is literally none of your fucking business, so leave me alone or I’ll call Marissa and tell her about,” you pause and lean forward, whispering with a faux sweet voice, “The janitors closet…" 

His face goes pale at the mention of the horrid sight you’d walked into that one faithful Tuesday, and he nods his head in understanding, "R-Right, sorry to bother you! I’ll uh, get going now then. Enjoy your break!" 

He’s gone before you even close the door. 

You simply stare at the closed door for a few moments, trying to process what the hell just happened.

"Miss Y/N?” Merry calls from behind the couch. “What did he mean by 'how you’ve been’? Are you alright?" 

Unable to keep your cool, you reach up and bury your fingers in your hair and groan loudly from frustration, "Ugh! Fucking Brian! Why did you have to open the door to that loser!?” You yell incredulously, pulling on your hair rather harshly. You don’t even entertain the idea of answering that question.

Aragorn seems surprised by your sudden angry outburst, so much so that he steps back and bumps against the wall. 

“He’s always in my damn business! Acting like I haven’t caught him doing  unmentionable  things in that closet! Why him? Why did you think it was a good idea to open the door?!” You don’t mean to yell or to get so angry, but it’s almost like a splash of cold water in the face. A reminder that things are temporary and unexplainable to outsiders. “He’s such a stalker! God, this is going to come back and bite me in the ass!”

You drag your hands down your face and simply stand there for a moment, ignoring all the people gathering in your living room to stare at their mental brake-down having hostess.

“I apologize, I-I didn’t mean to-” Woah he actually trips over his words.

Before he can finish his apology you raise a hand up in a silencing motion. “No, shut up. Don’t apologize I’m not actually mad at you.” It sounds like you are, but you aren’t.

If you were looking at him, you’d see that he visibly relaxes. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell I just… he frustrates me. I’m not angry at any of you, I promise.” You drop your hands back to your side and stare at the door for a few moments before turning and walking back into the living room.

“You’re kind of scary,” Sam states from Frodo’s side at the entrance of the kitchen. 

You look over at the two and furrow your eyebrows, “Scary? Me? No way. Just a little irritated.” If anything they’re the scary ones, with their swords and evil ring and all that. 

You glance back at the dark-haired man still at the front door and bite your lip, “I’m really sorry." 

A small and forgiving smile creeps onto his face, and you feel relieved right away. "Perhaps I shouldn’t have opened the door." 

This earns a small laugh and nod from you, "Now that freak thinks you’re my homeless male friend and he’s your drugged up brother. Not a very good reputation.” You don’t bother going over calling him your boyfriend in a panic - if they even know what it means in the first place. 

Suddenly ever innocent Pippin asks, “What’s meth?" 

Lord save your soul. 

—

After explaining to everyone what meth is and how you straight up just called Boromir a doped up loser to someone none of them know, you all have a good laugh. And once you’re all done laughing, you join Sam in the kitchen and notice that he’s taken an inventory of your kitchen. 

"Hello, chef Ramsay. What can I do for you?” You ask with a cheery smile, watching him go through your cupboard while literally standing on the counter with Frodo watching from the floor. 

“Who is chef Ramsay?” Sam asks, looking down at you from his leveraged spot on the counter. 

Oh, right, the poor soul doesn’t know the meme. 

“Nobody, what are you up to?” You change the subject quickly, a part of you hoping he approves of your kitchen. 

“Well… your shelves are lacking a lot. And your… what did you call it, fridge? It is basically empty. What do you eat all week?" 

You don’t reply right away, staring holes into him at his obviously spotty memory. "Well, Sam the thing is, I am one woman, and this one woman didn’t think she’d need to buy groceries for 8 men who all eat like they haven’t seen food for the past week… every meal." 

"So then perhaps we should go shopping!” He exclaims, closing the cabinet and hopping back down to the tiled floor. 

Excuse me, did he just say 'we’? Uh, yeah no.

You shake your head quickly, “No, Sam there aren’t people like you in my world. I can’t take you." 

His face falls and he looks around at the kitchen, crestfallen, "But I can’t tell you what to get if I don’t go…" 

Aw… he looks so sad. It makes your heart pang uncomfortably, and you find that you wanna make him smile again. "Here, I’ll tell you what. I’ll get some paper and a pen, and you can write down everything you want me to get on that. How does that sound?”

Almost immediately he perks up and nods his head, “Oh, that sounds wonderful!" 

Bingo. 

"Did you hear that Mr. Frodo? She said she’ll get whatever we want! Come help me make the list!” Okay, maybe this wasn’t a good idea. 

You gather the things you promised from a drawer to your right, then hand them down to him. “Here you are, dear. Take your time, and I’ll go tomorrow. And don’t forget to ask everyone else what they want.”

Hopefully, you won’t live to regret this. 

Without further ado, he rushes out of the kitchen calling for Merry and Pippin. 

These fellas are going to bankrupt you… but if you get to see those happy smiles again, then it’s definitely worth it. 

[devilatmydoor]

love is fatal I  part 2

A/N; Part 2 of my new Cal fic! Let me know what you think! :) I hope you are all rested and safe. 

part 1 

Word Count; 4.2k

Warning; angst, drug use, swearing 

The lump in her throat became more apparent as the girl looked Veronica up and down, staring at her choice of clothes.  She felt overdressed in her black hoodie, messy bun, and black leggings versus the other girl with Cal’s shirt on. Before she could even say anything or try and walk away from the half-naked girl standing next to her, her grating voice alarmed Veronica, “Are you Luke’s new girl?” 

Luke’s new girl? Where in the hell did she get that idea? 

“No.” Veronica breathed looking at Luke’s door to see if she stared at it long enough he’d look for her. 

“You’re here late for someone who isn’t his.” She commented and Veronica looked at her watch on her arm and saw that it was barely past 11pm. The girl looked Veronica up and down for the second time and Veronica furrowed her eyebrows and squinted her eyes, confused why she was still standing next to her, “But you are wearing far too many clothes to be here for Luke.” She winked. 

Veronica had to take a deep breath before replying to her, “I don’t fucking know you.What Luke and I are doing is between him and I. Even though whatever is going on between you and Calum isn’t.” Veronica insinuated as she walked back to Luke’s room ignoring whatever the other girl was going to reply with. 

She opened the door and closed it and Luke was sitting at the edge of the bed, the pizza boxes and empty coke cans vanished from the room. She shook her head and sighed louder than she anticipated. 

He tilted his head and ran his fingers through his curls, “What took you so long darlin’?” He asked softly 

“You didn’t tell me which door was the bathroom so I overheard Calum having sex,” She gagged, “Then I ran into the girl on the way back to your room and she implied that there was something going on between you and me.” 

He softly growled in response and motioned her to the bed,  “Oh god her. No wonder he was mad you were here. Ignore whatever she said, she’s the worst.” 

She sat down next to him and softly giggled at his comment, “Her voice is definitely something.”  

“Oh god isn’t it? I honest to god don’t know how he listens to her talk.” He giggled looking in her eyes. 

“I don’t think they spend too much time talking.” She replied and pursed her lips and leaned towards him.

He almost fell on the bed laughing and she couldn’t help but laugh with him, her nervous breath turned quickly into her trying to catch her breath from laughing so much. Her stomach hurt as she continued to laugh with Luke and they both fell backward on the bed laughing. He laid on his side to face her and she took a deep breath to stop herself from getting dizzy from all the laughter. He followed suit and then giggled softly, “Luke! It wasn’t even that funny!” 

“Then why are you laughing just as much as I am?” He chuckled and he sat on his bed with his back leaning on the headboard. 

Veronica moved so her back was leaning on the headboard and she blushed, “Probably because it’s true!” 

“I can’t see her having intellectual conversations” Luke’s eyes narrowed as he smiled at her. 

“Besides the obvious reasons, why don’t you like her?” She asked as she cocked her head sideways. 

“I just don’t get a good vibe from her. Ever since Calum met her she’s been coming to our place and he’s almost never at her house. It’s just suspicious like she’s hiding something from him. If she stays overnight, which rarely happens she expects Calum to have coffee ready for her. She complains about his smoking, gets jealous of any girl who talks to him, talks about how messy the house looks if it is a mess. She acts like his girlfriend when she’s his friend with benefits.” Luke explained, grabbing the remote to his T.V

“God she sounds awful. And I thought Caleb was the worst.” She speculated and pulled her sweater sleeves to cover her hands. 

“What’s he like?” He asked as he looked in her eyes. 

“He gets jealous too, I think he doesn’t like you and I hanging out but I could care less. He usually comes to my house but it’s mostly because his roommate knows my ex and the breakup wasn’t…” She trailed off trying to think of a word that would describe the disaster that was her last relationship. 

“You don’t have to talk about it but if you ever want to I am here for you no matter what okay? I understand messy breakups, I’ve been through some emotional ones myself. I’m here for you darling, whatever you need.” He mused and smiled at her. 

She smiled at him and kissed him softly on his cheek, “Thank you Luke, I appreciate that. I’m here for you. You can always talk to me about anything. I never judge my friends, ever.” She mused

“I don’t either.” He smiled at her and they finished watching The Ritual and watched Hush, Luke comfortably laying his head on Veronica’s lap so she could massage his scalp and run her fingers through his curls.

* * * * *

The sunlight in his room peeking through the black curtains, he rolled over on his side and slowly opened his eyes and saw her laying on the other side of his bed. She rarely stayed the night, especially during the week. She told him she was going to leave after going to the bathroom but he passed out and didn’t even notice she was sleeping next to him. He laid on his back and stared at the ominous blue wall until his stomach grumbled loud enough to wake up Luke. He sat on the edge of his bed and stretched his arms while flexing his tense muscles. His back and shoulders ached from his 10-hour shifts at the shop  and 80% of his shift he was hunched over clients’. He rolled his neck and a soft groan escaped his lips. He shrugged realizing she was still asleep. He stood up and put his boxers on and stretched his back and an even louder groan escaped from his lips. He stood up straight and thought of one last idea to wake her up. He walked to his leather jacket that was hung on his chair and  went through his pockets for the white box and lighter he clung to. He took out a cigarette and ignited it as he sat on his chair and inhaled the intoxicating yet soothing nicotine. He exhaled and waited for her to smell the smoke. He inhaled his cigarette and exhaled, her body slowly waking up as her eyes shot open and her eyes met his. 

“What the fuck Cal?” She said in a chiding tone, she moved the comforter off of her body to reveal she was partially dressed. She was wearing her bralette and underwear from the previous night. 

“Good morning to you too,” He huffed as he crossed his legs and inhaled his cigarette staring at her. 

“I told you I don’t like when you smoke.” She scoffed and sat up in his bed and leaned against the headboard and covered her nose further disapproving of him.

He exhaled his cigarette and rolled his eyes as he clenched his jaw, “I told you to leave.” He growled and stood up from his chair and ran his fingers through his messy hair. 

“You didn’t even notice I was sleeping in your bed.” She sighed as she slowly climbed off his bed. 

“I was exhausted, I trusted you to leave as we agreed. All you had to do was put your dress and shoes on, drive home which is hardly even a drive.” He shook his head in disbelief. 

“Did you think maybe I was exhausted too?” She walked towards him, her arms crossed as she narrowed her eyes at him. 

“From what? You don’t work 40 hour weeks.” He spat as he walked away from her and looked through his closet for clean clothes. 

“This is why we don’t talk, you think you know everything.” She muttered and he sharply turned around to look at her. 

“It’s mostly cuz you’re a snobby bitch who gets whatever she wants.” He growled and bit his bottom lip glaring at her. 

“Fuck you Calum.” She spat and walked away from him to grab her clothes from the floor. 

“You already did, multiple times.” He winked and turned around and grabbed his clothes for the day and looked at her as she put her dress on, “I’m gonna shower, you know the way out.” He spat as he opened the door and walked down the hall to the bathroom. He stepped inside the bathroom and closed the door behind him, louder than normal, and groaned in response. He turned on the shower to the hottest setting and slipped off his boxers and didn’t even bother to comb his hair. He stepped in the shower as steam surrounded him as he let the scalding water hit his back sighing in relief from the pain. He grabbed his shampoo and worked it into his curls as he enjoyed the water hitting his back in the perfect way. He rinsed the soap out of his hair while closing his eyes. He did the same treatment with his deep conditioner and let it sit in his hair as he lathered his favorite body wash on his body. He rinsed his hair and body off and turned off the shower. He grabbed a towel and dried off. His hair a complete mess from the shower and he put on his socks, then his black pants and his white tank top. He put on deodorant and put on his favorite cologne. He put his short sleeve top on buttoned his shirt from bottom to top. He combed his hair and opened the door and stepped out of the steam-filled room and walked down the hallway to his room to grab his phone from his nightstand, he sighed in relief when there was no sign of her. 

He walked down the hall toward the kitchen and he could smell coffee as he got closer to the island by the sink. He sat down on the chair and sighed as he  looked at Luke who was pouring two cups of coffee, “Thanks for making coffee, I’m gonna need it.” He thanked as he waited for Luke. 

“She left about 5 minutes ago, she didn’t even ask for coffee this time. You must’ve pissed her off.” Luke turned around to face Calum as he handed Calum his cup of coffee. 

“She slept over mate. She never does.” He looked at Luke and got off the chair to walk to the fridge to grab the milk. 

“Josslyn didn’t even say goodbye to me, She always does if she sees me,” Luke explained as he drank his coffee and leaned against the kitchen counter. 

“Why are you complaining? You hate her.” Calum expressed as he poured milk into his coffee mug and walked back to his chair as he thought about what he was going to eat for breakfast. 

“I’m not, just confused. She talked to Ronnie last night.” Luke remarked as he widened his eyes and shook his head. 

What the fuck? She never said mention talking to Veronica. 

He rubbed his temples and took a deep breath, “You two were obnoxious last night. You’re laughing fit ruined the mood.” He commented. 

“Abrupt change in subject, at least your acting normal.”  ” Luke raised an eyebrow and shook his head and opened the refrigerator to grab the milk, reached for his Cereal and grabbed a bowl and spoon. “You could’ve told me Josslyn was coming.” 

“You could’ve told me Veronica was coming but here we are.” He added before he grabbed his favorite cereal, grabbed a bowl and poured the milk first and then the cereal and grabbed a spoon. He checked his phone before plugging it in, “Where is Duke?” 

“Outside.” Luke answered as he finished drinking his milk and walked to the sliding door leading outside, “Duke!” 

He looked outside to see Duke running inside and he stretched his arms down to pick him up as he ran up to him, “Hey buddy! Pops missed you!” 

Luke put his  mug in the sink before grabbing his cereal and walked into the living room to turn the T.V on. He held Duke as he finished his breakfast barely paying attention to whatever Luke was watching on the T.V. He set Duke down as he put his shoes on and walked to his room to grab his leather jacket and his keys. “Do you need anything while I’m out?” 

“I was gonna go grocery shopping for us before I came in today. Just text me a list of what you want.” Luke looked up at Calum and smiled. 

“That would be perfect, thank you. I’ll see you later.” He smiled and bent down to pet Duke before leaving for work. He put his helmet on and started his motorcycle. His pride and joy, besides Duke. He saved up for 2 years to get a Harley Davidson and he used it as much as he could. He took advantage of the perfect weather, the sunshine and wind hitting his skin in the best way. As he got to work, he parked in the parking lot and grabbed the keys and took his helmet off and carried in his hand as he walked towards the shop. He grabbed his keys and unlocked the back door and opened it. He smiled when he saw his two best friends simultaneously work with him. 

“Morning Ash and Michael, how’s your morning?” He asked as he walked towards them. 

“Good, you and I are going to look through supplies and see what we need. Micheal is going to go through appointments and make sure we have enough supplies for the next two weeks. I think we should.” Ashton remarked as he put his hands in his pockets. 

“I think we’ll be okay, we usually don’t run out. I’ll be in my office if you need anything.” Michael smiled as he walked away to his office. 

“Should we go to the stockroom?” Ashton suggested and Calum nodded in agreement. They walked towards the stock room and he overheard his other coworkers coming in. He followed Ashton as he opened the door and led him to all of their supplies. Ashton went through all of the instruments and needles while Calum looked through ink. “We probably should’ve brought paper with us to write down what we needed.” He mentioned 

“That would’ve been smart huh?” Ashton remarked as he giggled and looked around for something to write on. 

“I’ll go to my office and get one.” He mentioned as he looked at Ashton and shrugged. He walked through the doorway and saw Grayson walking into the front door. 

“Good morning Calum!” Grayson greeted as he smiled. 

“Morning! Did you bring your laptop so we could go through your artwork?” He asked and without hesitation Grayson showed him his backpack. 

“I almost forgot, Veronica came home super late this morning,” Grayson said sleepily before yawning. 

“She was with Luke at my place, he has no concept of time I swear.” He chuckled before walking with Grayson towards his office. 

“Oh my god, neither does V. Drives me insane,” Grayson explained as he followed Calum.

“Trust me, I understand. I’m going through supplies Ashton, get comfortable and I will make sure that I am here before 11.” He addressed before grabbing a legal pad and pens from his desk, ���If you need anything don’t hesitate to check in with me or Michael.” 

“Thank you! I will.” Grayson said as he sat down on the chair across from Calum’s desk and situated himself. 

He walked back to the supply room where Ashton was sorting through masks and gloves, he sighed when he realized this was going to take longer than anticipated. He sorted through the aftercare supplies and wrote down which ointment they needed more of, which soap they had in stock, and how many boxes of alcohol prep pads they had. Ashton wrote down how many disposable razors, cartridge grips, and gauze they had in stock. After they finished sorting everything and realizing they needed to find a day where they had no appointments or other obligations to come in and thoroughly go through everything. Ashton brought the list of numbers to Michael as he walked back to his office and saw Grayson going through his work. He sat at his desk and looked through Grayson’s favorite artwork as Grayson showed him the wolf tattoo that he drew for Veronica and the rose tattoo he’s perfecting. He decided to order Grayson and him Lunch since it was almost 2pm and they both needed to eat. Ashton and Michael came in to look at Grayson’s art and Ashton invited Grayson to help with an appointment after their lunch. 

He looked through his own drawings and his calligraphy and fonts and what needed to be updated on the website. Michael came in to go through the website with him and make sure they added Grayson, Michael showed him the schedule of appointments and what shift’s he’d work with Grayson to finish his training. After Micheal left, he attempted to focus on his drawing but the noise coming from the tattoo needles mixed with miscellaneous conversations and the background music became too distracting. He grabbed his cigarette pack, sunglasses, and lighter before he stepped out of his office while his eyes fixed on the front door. He weaved through customers and coworkers as he opened the front door and felt the warm sun hitting his skin. He quickly put his sunglasses on and lit his cigarette and inhaled instantly. He leaned against the window and looked at the busy traffic on the street and the sidewalk. He finished his cigarette and threw it in the trash before opening the door and took off his sunglasses to see Luke talking to Ashton at the front desk. He made eye contact with both of them and they motioned him to come over. He walked over to them while trying to avoid bumping into anyone. 

* * *

As she walked her thighs started to chafe and she regretted wearing jean shorts. Her least favorite season became more evident as the sun was out longer and humidity became more unbearable. As she saw the newly familiar area, she opened the door and sighed happily when she felt the cool air hit her skin. She took off her sunglasses and realized Grayson was nowhere in sight and Luke wasn’t at the desk. She walked over to the body jewelry and looked at the barbells again. Her eyes glued to the hot pink one that stood out surrounded by various blacks and silvers. She couldn’t keep her eyes off of it if she wanted to. She was brought back to reality when she heard an unfamiliar voice ask her if she needed help. She turned around to see a muscular man wearing a black and white striped short sleeve shirt and black pants with black hair. His hazel-greenish eyes met hers, “Hi! Sorry, I zoned out. I was admiring all of the beautiful body jewelry. ” She giggled, embarrassed by her complete lack of focus. 

“Don’t worry about that, I would be too if I was interested in getting a piercing. I can tell this isn’t your first time in a tattoo shop?” He asked and smiled at her. 

She giggled at his comment. “Oh no this isn’t my first tattoo shop and won’t be my last. I have more tattoos than piercings, obviously.” 

“Same here,” He winked and stepped closer to her and leaned over the glass case showing all of the body jewelry, “I noticed you have that wolf thigh tattoo. If I’m not mistaken you are Veronica. A new tattoo artist named Grayson showed me that EXACT tattoo the other day, unless he tattooed it on someone else and I am a fool.” He blushed as he looked away. 

She looked down at the tattoo that was on display, “You are not a fool, Grayson is my best friend. I came to pick him up and give him some good news.” She looked at him and smiled. 

He giggled and pretended to wipe the sweat off his forehead, “Oh thank god, I’m Ashton. It’s nice to put a face to your name.” 

She smiled and heard Grayson in the distance, “It’s nice to meet you Ashton. Luke mentioned you designed this place. It’s amazing.”

“Thank you doll, Calum and I both worked on it. Our artistic director gave us ideas for the overall anesthetic and we had fun.” He smiled as he stood up straight and put his hands in his pockets.

“It’s beautiful. Red and black are my favorite colors together.” She mused as she looked to see Grayson, Luke, and another person she hasn't met. He was blonde, the same height as Grayson and had black-rimmed glasses, his style similar to Graysons. 

“They work really well together, the contrast is beautiful.” He smiled and looked over to see his coworkers. 

“Almost every color looks amazing paired with black.” She mused as she waved at Grayson who waved and motioned her closer. She looked at Ashton and smiled, “I should go. It was nice talking to you Ashton.” 

“Nice talking to you, have a good rest of your day.” Ashton smiled as she walked away towards Grayson. She smiled as she saw him giving her one of many looks she had memorized.

“What?” She shrugged and giggled at his facial expression as she walked up to the front desk where Luke was conversing with the other guy and Grayson walked toward her. 

“What were you looking at?” Grayson asked as he put his phone in his pocket. 

She knew she couldn’t tell him what she was really looking at, “Nose rings. I’ve had a stud for my nose piercing for ages.” She fretted as she ran her fingers through her hair and fidgeted with her rings. 

“Oh yeah? That would be interesting.” Grayson mentioned as he waited for the other guy to leave and Luke leaned over the desk. 

“How was work darlin?” Luke asked as he smiled at Veronica. Calum slowly walked over to the front desk after he spoke to the other guy she didn’t recognize. 

“It was weird, I’m actually transferring to a new animal hospital. The assistant manager is having her baby soon and they need a new Vet Tech.” She smiled nervously for Grayson and Luke’s reaction. 

“No way! That’s great, where is the new hospital??” Grayson asked as she saw Calum walking towards the desk. 

“I’m not sure, I know it’s called Angel City.” She answered as Calum walked up to them. 

“Angel City, that sounds familiar,” Luke mentioned as he looked at Calum who was furring his eyebrows as he entered the conversation late. 

“Angel City, the animal hospital? It’s not too far from here. That's where I take Duke.” Calum clarified he made eye contact with Veronica and he looked at Luke and Grayson. 

“Duke?” She asked, remembering when she was at their house she didn’t see or hear an animal. 

“He’s my dog. He was in my room when you were at our house. What about Angel City?” Calum asked as he furrowed his eyebrows at her. 

“I’m transferring there, I start next week.” She explained as she grabbed her car keys. 

“Damn! That’s fast.” Grayson expressed as his eyes widened. 

“At least the clinic is closer, that way we can see you more!” Luke said excitingly followed by a familiar groan from Calum. 

* * * * 

After his three tattoo appointments back to back and his previous piercing appointment, he was ready for a break. He had 2 hours left of his shift and he didn’t have any other appointments. He walked towards his office and closed the door behind him. He went to his seat and got comfortable as he got out a legal pad and wrote down a list of things he and Ashton had to finish on Sunday. He and Ashton didn’t have appointments so they could come in at any time and work on organizing the storage room. Thankfully they had enough supplies for the next two weeks but Micheal wanted them to make sure they were fully stocked for upcoming appointments.

He heard a knock at the door and thought he was hearing things. People almost never knocked at his door, they usually just walked right in without even bothering. The second knock louder than the first, that’s when he knew he wasn’t imagining things. He stood up from his chair and walked away from his desk. He slowly opened the door to see her. He had no idea she even knew where his office was in the first place. Dressed in shorts paired with fishnets, a vintage tank top, and black converse. Her jet black hair with her pale skin. Her eyes met his as she bit her bottom lip. 

“Calum?” She said softly as she looked at him, he’d never seen her like this. Then again he only knew her for 2 weeks. 

“Veronica, Grayson isn’t here.” He clarified as he cleared his throat, confused why she’d be here on Graysons day off. 

“I know, That’s why I’m here.” She implied as she crossed her arms. 

t a g l i s t : @pxrxmoore​ @lukesflaredpants​ @sublimehood​ @talkfastromance4​ @lilacsos​ @ghostoflrh​ @calumscalm​ @mellifluoushood​ @calumthomcs​ @twilightmomentswithyou​ @malumsdildo​ @boytoynamedcalum​ @ohhmuke​ @calswildflower​ @highscal​ @sanrioluke​ @softlrh​ @flowers-on-the-graves​ @currentlyupcalsass​ @clemmings​ @tirednotflirting​ @highfivecalum​ @wastelandcth

[thepeakyfckingblinders]

Innocence Lost || Michael Gray x reader

⤠ MASTERLIST⤟

Anon requested: “ 2 & 7 from the prompt list. Perhaps for Michael? Don’t worry prompts just are tough since you can’t read anyone’s mind but you’ll come around. Every idea is different. I’ve been writing fan work for about six years and I still suck at prompts.” (Love you so much, thank you for your support, I’m so sorry for being late, hope you don’t hate me) Summary: n.2 & 7 from my prompt list: "He’s driving me crazy” +  “It hurts so bad I can’t breathe”

Warnings: angst, swearing, virgin reader, a little smut

Author’s notes:

First of all, this is awfully long [3967 words], but I really loved writing it, my favourite piece so far, thank you so much for requesting!

Paragraphs written in italics are flashbacks.

I’m sorry for being this late, but I’ve been really busy in the past days and I spent a whole holiday without Wi-fi, moreover, writing is never just easy, it demands concentration and effort, plus I don’t want you to be disappointed, so I’m always extra accurate while working. I hope this is worth the wait!

Let me know what you think and tell me if this is what you expected  ♡

I’m Italian, English isn’t my first language, so I apologize for every possible mistake I made. Also please, help me improve my writing by telling me if there’s something wrong

ENJOY!

“Y/n, please, you can’t keep this up, you need to eat” For the umpteenth time in a row, your best friend’s voice reached your ears from behind the locked door of your room, but, again, you just ignored her and the loud thuds produced by her small fists colliding with the dark wood, your watery eyes remained fixed on the window facing your messy bed, as your attention was totally reduced to the meagre sun rays feebly filtering from the curtains. Your mind somehow managed to isolate itself from the surrounding world, until those deafening screams and noises waned in your numb eardrums and your empty y/e/c irises disappeared behind your heavy eyelids, covered in evident violet veins alarmingly in relief under your deathly pale skin.

Once more, you inexorably drowned in your haunting memories leading your already faint breath to break, while a muffled sigh slightly escaped your bluish lips in desperate need of hydration. In a matter of seconds you fell in a fugue state, still far from sleeping, yet just as far from being awake, and then you saw him again: his piercing green eyes, the sharp features of his wonderful face, his soft lips always contracted in a harsh line; you perfectly remembered every single inch of his glorious figure, to the point that the illusive vision evoked by your exhausted brain looked so real, that you thought to be able to finally touch him, as your hand instinctively lifted from the mattress, agonizingly digging in the stale air, but never coming near to graze the actual object of its fondest desires.

Before you could at least try to avoid it, you found yourself retracing the course of your relationship with Michael for the millionth time, an acute wave of pain spread through your chest, stealing another excruciating moan from your throat.

The familiar ring of the small bell, specifically hung above the door, reverberated in the room, announcing the presence of another person in your mother’s shop.

You raised your head, already smiling at your new customer, and looked in the direction of the entrance, more than ready to help whoever it was find the perfect material for the making of a high-quality suit, still, when you realized who actually walked in your store, your heart skipped a beat and you felt cold drops instantly forming on your forehead.

“Good morning, sir, h-how can I help you?” With a courage you never knew you had, you almost stuttered those words, incapable of taking your eyes off the magnetic ones of none other than Michael Gray; your blood froze on the spot, your mother had always begged you to keep yourself out of the way of the infamous Peaky Blinders, she’d always said they were dangerous people and no good would’ve ever come from getting involved with them in any way, and that terrifying awareness had you panic even more under his penetrating stare, while you kept hearing your mum’s apprehensive tone echoing inside your mind.

“Miss? Is everything alright?”

Only when that unbelievably deep voice rocked the air around your body, you understood you must’ve got lost in your thunderous thoughts, probably looking like a complete fool, so with a simple toss of your head you eventually forced yourself to put aside your fear and smile once more, even though you just wanted to run away from that uncomfortable situation. “Yeah, I’m perfectly fine, thank you. Please, tell me what you need and I’ll do my best to make you leave satisfied” Those words frenetically tumbled out of your mouth as your nervous fingers moved a strand of your hair behind your right ear, where you had previously pinned a graceful white and blue orchid, like you used to do every day. You saw an amused grin forming on his face, his vigilant orbs studied your shape, following each movement you made with flaunted audacity. “You want me to leave that bad?” The earlier trickle of concern in his tone was now replaced by pure irony, and you felt your cheeks wildly burn realizing how wrong that choice of words was.

“Oh my God, no! That’s not what I meant, I-i was... I was-” The young man’s crystal laugh interrupted your humiliating rambling, causing your flushed face to turn literally purple with embarrassment, suddenly the tip of your shoes became the most interesting thing in the world for you, until a solid hand gently gripped your chin, guiding you to lift your gaze, before it left your skin and cautiously reached for the flower held amidst your locks. “Hey, it’s okay, I was just joking” a tender smile still decorated his lips while he toyed with the delicate blossom between his fingers, examining it like it was something he had never seen before “Why do you wear this in your hair?”

Your nose automatically scrunched up at that silly question and you glanced at him almost in disbelief. In the space of a moment your wild heartbeat regularized, suddenly he din’t look like a dangerous gangster anymore, in your eyes, for that brief instant, he became just a weird boy in your workshop. 

“I like flowers” Michael chuckled in amusement again because of your disarming naivety, and his attitude seriously started to get on your nerves, he was pissing you off with his impertinence, plus you didn’t understand what he was laughing at. “Explain to me what's so funny, so I can laugh too” When you comprehended how your tone came out a bit grumpier than you expected, your eyes went wide with dread since you immediately remembered who you were speaking to. Still, nothing bad happened; he simply tried to stop giggling in your face as both his hands raised in a gesture of surrender.

“No need to get all worked up, honey, I only think you’re cute”

Pure shock contaminated your features due to those words, your cheeks heated again in distress, yet he didn’t move an inch, continuing to look at you from beneath his full lashes; there was something indecipherable in his gaze, something that made your stomach flinch with an unknown feeling. “You what?” Your voice rose of a few octaves, making you sound like a complete psycho, Michael, on the other hand, simply ignored your hysteric question and took up his absurd speech. “Would you have dinner with me tonight, miss?” Your trembling body unconsciously curled up on your left side, while your pupils berserkly moved under your closed eyelids and your mind kept reliving those bittersweet flashbacks. Actually, that day you had gently declined his first invite, under the pretext of not knowing him well enough, “you don’t even know my name, sir”, you had said, hoping to dissuade him from that odd whim; too bad for you, Michael Gray always knew exactly what he desired and rarely changed his mind nor gave up, especially when it came to intriguing challenges like you were. In fact, after your first encounter, he began to come to the store at least three times each week, on the pretence of ordering all sorts of rich fabrics for he needed new suits, and every morning he made sure that a bouquet of fresh white and blue orchids was dropped off your workplace. With the passing of days, no matter how hard you had tried not to, you fatally started to enjoy his company: he made you laugh like no one else did, and he was so kind and caring, that you soon forgot about his bad reputation, on the contrary, you could hardly believe that he was some vile criminal, since around you he just behaved like a normal boy, full of life and hopes. Eventually, he managed to persuade you to go out with him three weeks later, and after your first date, many and many others came, until one night he took you dancing in a lovely place down town. Needless to say, Michael was an absolute disaster on the dance floor, still he was there with you and kept making a fool of himself only to see you have fun; you perceived it in his stunning eyes, how happy he was from just knowing that you wanted to be right there and then, with him and him alone. And when he first kissed you, that same night in the middle of the ballroom, pulling you closer to his chest after a clumsy pirouette, in that exact moment, you knew, beyond any doubt, you had hopelessly fallen for that man. The mere thought of all those cheerful times brought an involuntary smirk on your face consumed by sorrow, but it was quickly overshadowed by your last memory together, which was for you both the most painful and blissful memory of all. The small lights, emanated from the fireflies Michael had caught for you, literally enchanted you, it was unbelievable how the simplest things could be so dazzling. A few days earlier, he had told you about his previous life, when he was nothing more than an ordinary farmboy with a normal family and a special talent for the mathematics, he had told you about how he loved to spend time with his little brother, playing ball among those endless fields or trapping glow-worms in old jam jars. For this reason, he had finally decided to bring you there, because he wanted you to know who he really was, aside from all his money and power, he needed you to love that part of himself too. So you found yourself comfortably sitting on a large towel in the middle of the green English countryside, your back was pressed against his torso and his arms were vigorously wrapped around your waist.

“What’s on your mind?” Your soft voice broke that unearthly silence first, you heard him giggle from above your shoulder before a quick peck was left on your cheek, followed by the tip of his nose tracing an electric path from your jaw to the bottom of your neck. You felt his face sink in your smooth skin as he took a deep breath, inhaling your fruity scent as much as possible, then a long wet kiss at the height of your throat inflamed your flesh with no mercy, until his libidinous mouth paused its work, in order to give you the sincere answer you were waiting for. “I want to make love to you”

In a single sharp movement you rolled onto your other side, desperately grabbing the edges of the sheets with your hands, almost like that was the only chance you had to keep yourself from falling again into the darkest abysses of your brain, but you couldn’t wake up, that noxious slumber seemed to keep you hostage. Grieving wailings filled the room, and your lungs easily run out of air, when the last lethal recall implacably came.

“So beautiful, so fucking beautiful” Michael groaned, while his dilated pupils greedily drank each drop of your naked shape unsteadily laying under his, he watched in rapture your soft chest frantically raise and lower and your plump lips incapable of holding back uncountable whimpers, due to the lustful stroking of his fingertips inside your core. Your misty gaze never left his, as your foreheads eagerly pressed against each other, he kissed you with unbearable urgency once more, your fingers hungrily entangling his short hair so to keep him close. Yet, when you finally felt his tip rub against your centre, a mindless fear took over you, causing your mouth to abruptly depart from his; your eyes, impregnated with pure dismay, started to ravingly seek the spot where your bodies were about to connect, before Michael lifted your chin with tenderness, driving you to catch his preoccupied stare. “Hey, we don’t have to go further if you’re not feeling like doing it, love” He whispered while making your noses lovingly cress one another, you blinked multiple times in attempt to regain a minimum of lucidity and then placed one of your trembling hands on his cheek. A tremendous amount of chaotic thoughts were wildly dancing in your dizzy head: suddenly, the awareness of the fact that he was involved in nasty affairs struck terror into your heart all over again, moreover, it would’ve been a terrible scandal, if it ever got out that a girl from a good family had slept with someone out of wedlock, especially someone like him. But, more than anything else, you kept wondering how that whole thing was going to end; afterall, you had always heard rumors about him being an absolute womanizer, he seduced only to abandon, that was what everybody said in Birmingham, and you were completely petrified by the idea that he could treat you that way as well. Still, you knew your love for him was strong, and you firmly believed that love was nothing without trust. “I want this, I swear, but...” Embarrassment lead you to look away while pronouncing those last syllables and your voice died in your throat, but, despite that, Michael was able to read you like an open book, so he hurried to cup your face and briefly peck your lips, in order to make you restore your confidence. He wanted you to feel safe in his arms, he wanted you to give yourself to him without any change of heart, since only then you would’ve been truly, completely and utterly his. “Just keep looking at me, okay? It’s me and you, y/n, nothing else matter now. Only me and you” You nodded your head yes, definitely allowing him to go on, and, while you were sinking in the mesmerizing green of his irises, he began to gently thrust into you, always paying attention to all your facial cues. A dull ache soon radiated through your lower abdomen and legs, having you tense up under his weight, as your thighs instinctively tried to shut.  “Relax, babygirl” a shower of small kisses covered your face, his warm tone caressing your ears “I need you to tell me if it gets too much, got it? I’ll stop at any moment”

As soon as you gave him your consent afresh, he entirely drowned inside you at a placid pace, irreversibly taking your innocence; a wrenching whine forcefully rolled down your tongue because of that horrible sensation, inducing Michael to tauten his muscles for a second and then start to pull out right away.

Watching you suffer caused him physical pain, he could actually sense a grievous burden achingly worm its way through his ribs; that’s how he realized he loved you dangerously. “Wait, Michael” Your wavering voice, together with your calves still held around his hips, temporary succeeded in keeping him from breaking that intimate connection, your nails digging in his forearms to prevent you from crying. “Stay with me”  You pleaded again, yet he seemed determined to ignore your prayers, as his head vehemently shook in disapproval and his waist fought your legs’ resistance. “I’m hurting you! I can’t-” Michael was not able to end his sentence for your lips impetuously collided with his, you needed him to stop blaming himself for such a natural thing; sweet caresses enveloped his marked cheekbones in a dire effort to calm his nerves, while you knowingly borrowed his former words. “Please, I want you to make love to me” After that night, without a single word, Michael Gray inexplicably disappeared from your life. A moon passed, yet not once he came to your shop, nor he wrote you a letter in order to explain the reason behind his disgusting behaviour, he just continued to avoid you, always staying away from the places where he knew he would meet you, pretending not to spot you among the crowded streets of the city. It was as if the entire world had fallen on your frail shoulders, you couldn’t quantify the cruel grief tearing your soul apart. “Y/n! Y/n, you have to wake up!” Mary’s screams rudely dragged you back to reality, only then you heard the immoderate sobs and weeps uncontrollably erupting from your throat; you looked up at your best friend, who had somehow managed to pick the lock of your chamber, and you noticed raw terror shining in her orbs, her fists squeezing your arms hard enough to leave a mark. “L-leave me alone” You muttered with hot tears still streaming down your face. Even though you were well conscious of your extreme bad attitude towards her, you couldn’t handle any physical contact in those moments, you only craved loneliness. “No, I fucking won’t! Now, tell me what the hell is going on with you” Her aggressive tone brooked no argument as she showed no signs of letting go of you, at least not until you spat it all out. “I can get no peace, I see him! Every time I close my eyes, I see his damn face, I hear his voice. He’s driving me crazy” You snuggled up, burying your head between your flexed knees, finally allowing your cry to explode altogether.                                                          *****

“Mr. Gray, I’m so sorry, I tried to stop her, but she won’t listen!” From his comfortable armchair, Michael abandoned his work only to glimpse at his assistant with one eyebrow raised in a sceptical expression.  Yet, soon he understood what that poor man was talking about, since Mary furiously broke into his office, bravely sending him eloquent death glares. With his usual arrogance pouring out of every hole, the boy brought a cigarette to his mouth, lighting it in a quick move, before he dropped his secretary a hint so to be left alone with the lady. “I have business, no time to talk” Michael tried his best to sound as unemotional as possible, he kept smoking slowly, savouring every rush of grey smoke, and staring at the girl in front of him with a destabilizing sense of superiority. “You don’t need to talk, you screwed bastard! You just have to listen!” In the blink of an eye, Mary reached for him behind his desk, rabidly gripping his naive shirt collar in order to push him closer to her livid face. She knew perfectly well who she was growling at, he could’ve ruined her at any moment and that was a risky choice, but her dearest friend was going to pieces right beyond her eyes and she had to do something about it. “She’s slowly fading away and there’s nothing anyone can do, ‘cause you fucking destroyed her!” Michael forced himself to bear her gaze, despite the devouring guilt growing inside his stomach. “She at least deserves a bloody logical explanation, so she can finally move on. I swear to God, Michael Gray, if you don’t go there and talk to her, I’ll find a way to fuck up your pathetic life, if it’s the last thing I do”                                                              *****

A light knock on the wooden jamb distracted you from your thoughts again, you simply moaned with annoyance in response, laying on your bed with your back to the open door. “I told you to leave me alone, Mary” You murmured at the limit of your strength, but, half a minute later, you heard someone clear their throat in a very familiar way, and you just couldn’t believe your ears. Without a second thought, your back escaped the control of your mind, hastily leaving the mattress; in the space of a moment, you found yourself standing in front of him. The air around you seemed to freeze on the spot, you stopped breathing, he was there, for the first time after more than a month. Your heart was atrociously split into two: part of you only wanted to throw your arms around his neck and hold him tight, still, your other half hated him for the hell he had deliberately put you through. “Go away.” Your stone-cold remark hit him right in the gut, he looked in horror at the state into which you had fallen, conscious of being the one to blame for all the pain he had caused you; before he could notice, he sensed a salt drop fall from his lashes and directly hit the floor, but he didn’t move, unable to regain control of his paralyzed body. “I said, go away!” This time you couldn’t prevent yourself from hysterically shouting in his face, starting to throw several punches at his chest, both of you were now at the mercy of your own rage. Coming out of his momentary trance, Michael promptly grabbed your wrists, partially interrupting your fierce outburst; feeling the touch of his bare skin on yours inexorably had goosebumps cover every inch of your figure, it was like getting sparked a thousand times in a row, you kept wondering how you were staying on your feet without falling to the ground. “I’m here to talk” That mind-blowing sound filled your ears, causing your craw to painfully close up, he kept his watery irises locked with yours, waiting for you to say something, but your only answer ended up being a forceful shove, which allowed you to free yourself from his grasp. “Talk? Really?!” a bitter laugh left your sternum as you incredulously put your hands through your tousled locks “What exactly did you want to discuss with me? How disgusting you are for mercilessly betraying a person whose only mistake was loving you, eh?” Truth was hard to handle for him, he was aware of what a horrible thing he had done to you, still, he wished he could make you understand he had acted that way for a reason. Michael lowered his gaze in discomfort, until your roaring voice echoed through the walls once more. “Look at me! I want you to see what you’ve done” you took a few steps in his direction, getting riskily close to him, while your mad stare never left his features. “I am shot to pieces because of you” Your index finger roughly hit the middle of his pecs for a brief instant, then you distanced yourself of about three feet, overwhelmed by that terrible mess made of a million contrasting feelings bloodily fighting into your head. “It hurts so bad I can’t breathe” That was nothing more than a whisper, cracking under the weight of your excruciating emotions; for the umpteenth time that day, all the air in your lungs somehow vanished for a few, interminable, seconds, leaving you to tremble before his immovable silhouette. That heartbreaking sight stirred something in Michael, something so strong, that he finally reacted to that unbearable situation. “I fucking did it for you! I did it to protect you from a man like me, y/n! What do I really have to offer you, eh?” Shock took over you while you watched him gesticulate, wildly hitting his own torso multiple times in between his yells. “Blood, death, destruction, that’s what I am. And I can’t drag you down with me, y/n, ‘cause I love you too much to be this selfish!” He fell on his knees, fully depleted by his own sorrow, and he wearily leant his forehead onto your womb, heavy sobbing through the veils of your nightgown. A round minute went by without you exhaling a single sigh, you tried and process what he had just said, swiftly repeating it all to yourself. Eventually, your fingers gently began to caress his hair in attempt to put an end to his loud weeps, never before you had seen him cry, never in a thousand years you had thought that moment would ever come. “I love you too, Michael, and that’s why you can’t decide for me”  Your right hand softly cupped his chin in order to make him look up at your eyes. “You just have to let me stay by your side”

tag list: @namelesslosers, @shadow-of-wonder, @spidey-pal