#on another note sometimes in my teaching I will hear students discussing who I should marry

[itspileofgoodthings]

Random thought but I do think that fun can be such a good marker of whether or not something is healthy for you or even sometimes if it’s just good in general.

[writingwithcolor]

Announcement: No Longer Answering Rubber Stamp Questions

Introduction

Here at Writing With Color, we’ve noticed a shift in the questions we are receiving. In the past, the majority of questions challenged the necessity of diversity in fiction or asked for assistance in making diversity seem more plausible in world-building. We also received many questions on how to describe and characterize people of color in respectful ways that didn’t demonize different races, ethnicities and religions.

By and large, we see that our followers understand why these concepts are important, and for that we congratulate you! This kind of progress takes real, long-term, internal work. Our team hopes that any advice or input you received from us over the years has helped you continue to develop as a writer. We hope you will continue to support us in the future and are especially pleased to hear from our non-white commenters who have let us know when our content has let them feel seen or heard.

However…

We have noticed a recent trend in asks that is discouraging. Many askers seem concerned with receiving our blanket approval of a particular concept or character. These asks often don’t provide us with the direction and context crucial to providing advice from a race or ethnicity-based perspective. Examples include:

“I’m writing a character from [insert background] who has [insert traits]. Is this ok?”

“I’m creating a world where I have made [insert concept] the basis of my world-building. Is this allowed?”

Hi, I’m a [insert identity]. Is it problematic to have [concept/ character] in my story?

“I’m creating a [Race A] character with [these] traits, a [Ethnicity 1] character with [those] traits, a [Race B] character with [some other traits] and a [sex/ gender minority] character with a [different set of traits]. Is this combination offensive?

We call these questions rubber stamp questions. If this describes your question, there’s no need to feel bad. We realize that there was never an explicit explanation of this concept. In addition, our team is mindful of the changing demographics of tumblr that might make it mean we are receiving questions from a younger user-base are not yet familiar with many of the principles we outline on this website. However, on that note…

What is Rubber Stamping?

Rubber stamping refers to the practice of seeking an endorsement without questioning or seeking to alter the status quo. The purpose of Writing With Color is to be a focal point for discussion about diversity in writing rather than simply prescribe a series of corrective measures. Without knowing the asker’s intent (Which we can’t, since we aren’t mind readers), our moderators are not in a position to provide you with carte blanche for your writing concept in the name of all other non-white people. Yes, we have a certain level of skill and expertise on many of these topics, but we are not here to take on the burden of all PoC to approve your writing choices. Nor would it be fair to other PoC if you took our response as a reason to dismiss the perspectives of other PoC (An unfortunately common phenomenon).  

Bluntly, on the moderator end, these asks are also incredibly frustrating because they are vague and thus:

Time consuming

Labor intensive (mentally and emotionally)

The last example from the previous section (AKA “Laundry lists”) is particularly time consuming because multiple moderators must collaborate to produce an answer that boils down to each moderator saying, “I guess it depends??? *shrug*” but in slightly different ways.

Perhaps the biggest problem with rubber stamp asks is they feel (to us) like they are more about the asker’s desire for closure/ approval/ virtue signaling than a willingness to participate in the kind of education and discussion on diversity we are trying to foster on this blog.

To that effect: We will no longer be answering such questions.

(If you sent in such ask before this goes up on November 15th, 2020, a moderator may reach out to you individually to better address your inquiry as submitted.)

However: Don’t worry! We also are here to teach you how to makes these questions better!

Fixing Rubber Stamp questions:

1. Be specific.

Instead of Can I/ May I, try “How can I” or “When can I” or “What can I”?

Thus instead of: “I’m Christian. May I create a Jewish character seeking to become an actress in 1920s Hollywood?” —> “How do I, as a Christian, create a compelling Jewish character while being mindful of the interplay between my own intrinsic bias and historical accounts of prominent Jewish figures in early Hollywood?”Or, instead of: “I want to write a story about a modern day piracy in the East Indian Ocean, but with magic. Is this problematic? —> “Given the continuation of modern day piracy in the East Indian Ocean, what are some tropes I should avoid if I decide to go with a modern fantasy set in this region?”

2. Remember: The goal is improved understanding, not approval. Sometimes, you really just want to know *why* you can’t use a particular concept, and that curiosity is good! Questions that ask “Why?” in good faith are often how you can learn a lot about your own intrinsic biases and the limits of your own knowledge.

Thus, instead of: If I write about [controversial topic], am I a bad person? —> Why is it better for someone like me to not write about [controversial topic]?

This approach has the bonus effect of making us feel like you actually care about what we think.

3. Write your question as a draft: Edit your ask at least once or twice to provide as much information as possible while being concise. I’ve told this to college students before, but I can tell when a person wrote their assignment by the quality of the writing. Writing done late at night, when sleep deprived and without at least one edit contains extraneous information while not having a clear point.

Going through your question (Preferably a day after you wrote it) will help you narrow down what you really want to know.

Remember: You all have free will and can write whatever you please. We presume that you seek WWC’s input because you wish to write on issues pertaining to people of color with greater levels of awareness. On a practical note, we recognize that social media, trolling, call-outs, doxxing and other dimensions of cyberbullying make writers online hesitant to do anything unless they think they have the majority of the public on their side. There are times when it is obvious that the asker is asking more because they need approval to feel less anxious when they share their work with others.

However, if the above is your worry, either you aren’t ready to write on this topic or you need to rethink the boundaries you set with the online communities/ individuals you interact with as well as how you manage your internet presence. With respect to personal anxieties when it comes to writing, morality, your conscience and so forth, we recommend turning to your own support systems IRL. As relative strangers on the internet, we are not well-qualified to allay personal concerns.

Remember: Writing with diversity is like training for a marathon. Give yourself permission to expand your comfort zone at the pace your research capabilities and experience allow!

We appreciate that you all trust us to provide helpful, well-thought out feedback for your ideas, and we also thank you for respecting our perspectives even if you may disagree. In the same vein, we request that you put the level of thought into your questions you think appropriate given that another human being is going to spend, at a minimum, several hours coming up with their response. We look forward to hearing from you! 

- The WWC Team

(A link to this article will be added to the pinned FAQ for everyone’s reference)

[gyllenhaalstories]

YOU WON’T PLAY, YOU’RE NO FUN — PROF!CHRIS

summary: chris evans is your professor with whom you’ve had an affair with since the beginning of the semester. you meet with him over zoom with your fellow teammates to discuss your project, but you can’t seem to get into the right mindset. instead of providing the group with clever comments and ideas, all you do is test the limits of chris’ patience and self control.

warnings: don’t have sex with your prof please, mentions of online classes, smut including: established dom/sub relationship & teacher/student relationship (abuse of power used strictly as a joke, they are both 18+ and consensual), degradation, masturbation & mutual masturbation, edging. MINORS DON’T READ NOR INTERACT.

word count: 1500

notes: rail me daddy :) i’m a hoe for teacher/student if you can’t tell already. i do keep it vague by not mentioning any majors, don’t worry! it’s my first time writing for chris, so please, be kind!!! i hope you enjoy reading this mess!!!! ily <3

gif credits: capsgrantrogers blessing us with this low quality webcam goodness.

“Miss /Y/L/N, would you mind staying a little longer? I need to talk to you.” Chris’ voice resonated as your classmates went quiet before they waved their cameras goodbye and left the two of you alone.

Uh oh.

“Sure, what do you want to talk about?” By the time you were done with your question, you noticed that his face was frozen. “Mister Evans! Chris?! I think there’s an issue I can’t — hear you.” You sighed and rolled your eyes. You seriously needed to get that Internet connection checked. You had your hand on your laptop, ready to close it up when you heard the familiar noise of a video call, but this time it was a private conversation.

“Don’t want anybody to walk in on us, right?” Chris winked and smirked at you. You had a flashback of that one time you hooked up in his office and realized his door was left ajar when you could hear the secretary of the department arguing with the printer. You thanked your guardian angel (who must had been very disappointed) that you were just on your knees blowing him off, and that nothing too serious was going on.

You laughed, for a second you thought you were in trouble.

“What was that all about?” Chris questioned, his smirk disappeared and was replaced by a dark expression.

“I have no clue what you’re referring too.” You shrugged lightly and looked at the screen, wishing he had chosen another shirt that showcased his tattoos. You were lucky enough to see his arms from the short sleeves, you felt as aroused as royal men back in the day when they saw a woman’s ankles.

Chris clicked his tongue and shook his head. “Oh, really? There is no explanation to the attitude you’ve been giving your teammates and me all morning?”

You sighed again, loud enough for him to hear you. ��They’re idiots and I’m sick of their shit. They’re not doing anything on the project yet they show off in front of you just to   —“

“Got it, they’re dumb and you’re smart.” He put the emphasis on the last few words. “Tell me, Miss, if you’re that smart, how come you’ve made the very stupid decision to be rude to me as well?”

You swallowed thickly. You were just so pissed off, exhausted from the all nighter you had to do in order to complete the requirements for today’s class. “Chris, look, you know it wasn’t about you...” You heard him cough. “I’m sorry, Sir.”

“I’d call you a good girl, but good girls don’t talk back and they certainly don’t act so bratty. What a potty mouth, you swore in front of everybody. Do I have to teach you manners too? I’m afraid that’s not listed on my tasks as your professor, too bad.”

“I said I was sorry! You know how much I hate them!”

“Do I have to give you a bad grade for not cooperating? Not everybody is as understanding as me, you need to learn that.”

He sounded so arrogant, so condescending. As much as you hated it, it turned you on. You were all squirmy on your chair, and he caught up on that.

“Tell me, what’s on your mind, princess? Why are you on the edge?”

You looked up through your lashes, letting out a complaint. That fucker. The last time you met, which was over a week ago, he had an emergency and had to leave his apartment to go on campus. How convenient, you had not finished and you were left breathless and worked up on his bed. He made you promise not to touch yourself without permission on his way out. He knew just how impatient you could get. All the needy texts you sent him while he was looking over his other classes during an exam; all the begging you did over the phone while he insisted on doing small talk.

“You won’t play with me,” you pouted at the screen. “You’re no fun.”

He chuckled, his voice sounded lower than usual while he sat up on his chair. He loved this game with you, probably as much as you did if not more.

You noticed his arm disappeared out of the frame. You’d do ten other team works with your stupid colleagues if it meant you’d be the one to take care of his hard on at that very moment.

“Oh, baby wanna have fun? Is that it? You should have told me sooner!” He cleared his throat when he heard you sigh again, giving you a warning. “Get those fingers nice and wet for me.”

You obeyed, sucking on two fingers of your dominant hand. You picked up on the back and forth movements of his arm, he was palming at his crotch. You caught a glimpse of him standing up   — he was in tight Calvin Klein boxers   —  and sitting back down, his cock freed from his clothes. “I’ve been good, Sir. So good.”

He nodded slowly, after spitting in his hand and starting to fist his cock. “Oh, really?”

You nodded frantically. “I haven’t touched myself since you left,” you pulled your hand away from your mouth, a string of saliva fell down your chin. “I’ve been so wet for you, Sir. You’re all I’ve been thinking about.”

“Then think about my fingers rubbing your clit.” He groaned, the speed of his arm motions increased.

You jerked on your chair at the contact of your fingers, your panties were soaked from your arousal. “Sir!” You moaned out when you circled faster against the bundle of nerves.

“You’re so fucked up for me, you’d rather cum on your fingers than on my face, huh?” You felt tears pooling in your eyes. “Stop touching yourself and answer me.”

You pulled your hand away, showing it to the camera so he believed you. “I want to cum so bad, Sir! Please, just once! And I’ll wait until we meet again. I need it!”

“And I need to fuck that tight little cunt of yours and you don’t hear me complainin’.” His bicep flexed in his tight shirt, his breathing got heavier. “I waited for you the entire week. I didn’t text you in the middle of the night begging like a desperate slut.” He nodded, indicating you could start rubbing again.

You moaned loudly, throwing your head back. He was edging you, again.

“Eyes on me, Baby. Need to see you.”

It took so much energy just to keep your eyes open.

“Faster.” He growled, he was so close too. You could feel it, even if he was far away.

“Sir, please!”

“Stop, stop right fucking now.” He pulled away from his swollen cock at the same time as you did. “I won’t tolerate attitude like this again, you heard me?” You nodded, mouthed a ‘yes’. “I don’t want to repeat myself. You’re such a dumb little baby sometimes, I’ll probably have to.” The more he mocked you, the more you needed to touch yourself again. “Next time you act like a bitch in my class, you’ll regret it.” You never took his threats lightly. The first, and last, time that you did, you ended up bent over his knee with the belt of his dress pants spanking your ass red like the ink from the pen he used to grade papers

“I’ll count to ten. At ten, you’ll...”

“I’ll cum!” You spoke excitedly.

“Yes, Babygirl. You’ll get to cum.” He licked his lips and stroked his beard, his hand holding his sensitive cock. “Ready?”

You replied with even more enthusiasm and he started to count up.

“Slowly, 1, 2, 3...” He swallowed thickly. “Add more pressure now, 4, 5, 6,” he tightened his grip around his cock. “Faster, 7, 8, 9...” he jerked himself up at the same speed as you. “Now, cum for me. Make a mess like you’d do on my cock. That’s right, cum for me, Princess.”

The knot in your stomach finally snapped and you released yourself on your hand. You were panting and clenching around nothing, wishing you were with Chris right now.

He growled loudly as he released himself on his hand and shirt. “Look what you did to me, Baby.” He sat up just enough to show you, causing you to laugh at the sight of his messed up top.

In exchange, you showed him your slick coated fingers before you licked them clean. Blood rushed to his cock again, but he took a deep breath to calm down. “All good now?”

“Yes! Thank you, Sir.” You smiled, content and satisfied.

He wiped his hand clean with his shirt, after he removed it and let you admire his broad chest and inked drawings. “I’m giving you extra homework.”

Your smile disappeared and you squinted, mentally preparing for more readings or an extra essay on how good he fucked you. It would be your third or fourth, you ran out of synonyms to explain that he made you feel like you were on cloud nine.

“Take a shower and a nap, I’ll get to this meeting and meet you back home, okay?”

Your face lit up again, and you clapped happily.

“See? I can be fun when I want to.”

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs, “Humans 101.”

Sorry for not posting yesterday. I have had the WORST motivation the past few weeks, but I thought you might like to see some more of Krill. Hope you all have a great day!

Krill walked up the university hallway turning his head to look out the window at the vast expanse of space before him. It had been a very long time since he had been to University, in the Vrul sense of the word, which was less like University and more like on the job training, but he had recently accepted an assignment at the Intergalactic Institute of Biological Science. Granted, he wasn’t a real professor, not fully, but an adjunct who had signed on to do a series of lectures for the next few months while he waited for Admiral Vir’s return. 

Since Simon had become acting Captain of the ship, it seemed that there was less and less reason for him to be there. She wasn’t experienced enough to take on the real dangerous assignments that the Admiral had excelled at, and due to her rule following nature, and the assignments they were sent on, mostly diplomatic and exploratory in nature, Krill had found less and less use for himself on the ship. He didn’t expect to be gone forever, and he doubted he would be able to leave at this point.

He couldn’t return to his home planet, not now there was a standing order for his termination, which he was planning to avoid with great prejudice. Though he found it wildly Ironic that they had asked him to come teach, when many of the professors at the school were, in fact, other Vrul.

It was with this small piece of amusement that he scuttled into the lecture room: Large and circular with seats rising on all sides and a projection hub right in the middle. The room was already packed full despite him being five minutes early. He had been told his lecture series would be popular, but he hadn’t expected there to be standing room only, and even then, there were students sitting on the floor, and a few Vrul floating in the air high above other students' heads.

He moved to the center of the room to set up his projections and, from the corner of his eye watched as a few of the front row students shifted back slightly. The Tesraki, Rundi and Finnari students didn’t seem to notice, but the Vrul students certainly did, sarong at him like he was some sort of freak.

He  could hear the whispering, and he reveled in it.

It was nice to be intimidating sometimes.

Overhead the lights flashed once, and then twice, and the entire room went quiet expectantly looking down at him with their wide eyes.

He drew himself up Resting two of his hands together and another two behind his back as he began pacing his way around the projection field. Students Continued to whisper quietly, “Good morning class, My name is Dr. Krill Galaxy renowned trauma surgeon, and the galactic leading expert in xeno-medicine with an emphasis in humanity.”

There was a uiet muttering around the room.

“I have been acting medical officer aboard the UNSC Omen once Harbinger for more than two years, and I have practiced surgery in hospitals From Andromeda and Irus to the milky way and Earth.”

More shifting wide eyes and some nervous muttering.

He looked around the room shrewdly at all the new faces, “How many of you are interested in working with the intergalactic community.”

A slow raise of hands.

“Then I should probably let you know. Humanity has begun to profuse through all the major sectors of space, business, government, shipping, sales, medical. Humans are everywhere, and humans can do anything. If you wish to work in the wider intergalactic community, you will be working with humans, and many of you will work extremely closely with humans.”

Nervous expressions all around.

“I noticed many of you, the Vrul students especially have noticed the strange effect that spending time with humans can have on an individual.”

He looked around and saw some acknowledgement.

“The colloquial term for it is called the humanizing phenomenon and it will happen to you no matter how hard you try. Scientists have said that you will become more aggressive in order to interact with humans, your movements will become more predatory, you will come to focus on facial cues and the pitch of voices to determine emotion, and soon,you will even begin to utilize human body language in order to communicate better with them.” He motioned to himself, “Out of all the alien species,I have spent the most time with humans, and as you can see, I communicate primarily in a way that humans would understand, mostly with nonverbal body cues. I don’t often use my helium sack as I get in the way with keeping up with humans.” he turned to look around at the room, “Human’s no longer scare me. As pack animals, your social influence is often more important than your physical influence. Given the fact that I have built myself up in social influence within a human pack, I no longer worry myself with being round humans. In fact, I Have never been safer in my entire life.”

His antenna vibrated slightlin amusement, “In fact it is well known that I already have a termination order placed on my head by the Vrul council.”

There was a shocked gasp from certain Vrul parts of the room.

He swaggered about the room a little smugly. He didn’t usually get reactions like this from people.

“They actually took me from an assembly meeting with the GA and brought me back for termination, but one of my humans, as I certainly do consider them mine as much as they consider me theirs, came and rescued me single handedly.”

Another murmuring from around the room.

“How did he do it?”

They waited.

“He used his complex human vocal cords and clapping to simulate a beat. In that way he disabled all the guards, and climbed his way up the guiding rope to the council chamber.”

More soft muttering.

“If you make friends with a human, you are probably as safe as you are ever going to be, especially if you happen to become friends with a very audacious human=, in which case there is nothing that they will not do for you.” He spun on the spot, “Enough for introductions, I will please have you open your files to page one of the textbook, and we will go over a brief discussion of human mechanical anatomy.”

There was a shuffling around the room as Data pads were produced.

Krill brought up an anatomical projection of a human. Looking up it amused him to know that this anatomical model, the one used in almost every nonhuman textbook, was modeled on one single human, that being Adam Vir, all accept for the right leg of course, which was modeled on another human of similar height.

“Humans are are omnivorous bipeds with an endoskeletal structure supported by a vascular system. I know a lot of you have been wrongfully told that humans are primarily carnivores, though that is not true, while human can eat a variety of foods, there are humans that choose to live without eating meat, and they can be sustained on a herbivore diet if they wish. As you can see here, the front facing eyes of the human mark them off as a predator species, though this isn’t always the perfect indicator. Vrul eyes are on the front, but, as we know, Vrul also have prismatic vision that is more closely related that of insects on an earth-like planet.” he glanced around the room, “These predator classifications only exist for a class of alien known as the vascular type, which uses a pump to push fluid through the body. As you know Vrul, Burg, Gromm, and Lumins as well as a few others are not represented in this category.”

“Can anyone tell me which species ARE classified as the vascular subtype.”

There was a raised hand and he pointed, “You there.”

“I can provide a short list sir, Tesraki, Rundi, Humans, and Drev to name a few, but the Drev are a notable outlier for this rule because their war-like culture has supported the slow movement of the eyes towards the front of the face despite them being a herbivore species.”

Krill nodded, “Very good. Yes, humans are in fact a REAL predator species, however it is important to note that the greater 80% of human diets are supported by fruits and vegetables. Based on the amount and distribution of consumed foods, humans are actually closer to herbivores in their dietary choices than they are carnivores.”

There was a soft muttering around the room. Either disbelief or interest, he couldn't tell.

“Historically, humans would have evolved from tree dwelling omnivores, though their diets would also have been primarily fruit, and maybe insects as hunting only really came after they moved to land based travel on two legs. As far as earth animals are concerned, humans are not a top tier predator, and years of life in padded habitats using technology have actually dulled their hunting senses and abilities. A human COULD take a chunk out of you with their teeth, but they certainly wouldn’t WANT to. It would definitely be a last resort. Following that, humans only eat cooked meat as they can grow very sick on consuming certain raw products.”

The class shifted and whispered to each other.

“Yes, I know you have been told many strange and odd things about humans, but most of those are heavily exaggerated. However, it is true that humans are more versatile than most of us. Humans can run, walk, climb, throw, jump and swim, and while they don’t do any of those particularly well, their ability to do all of them  to some degree makes them the most versatile alien in the GA. Furthermore humans also have a multitude of senses, ones that are common to most of us balance, heat cold, pain, etcetera, but there is one sense that they have which is very uncommon in the galaxy, and that is a sense of smell.”

All around him, students were taking notes, “This is the ability for a human to detect particles in the air and, often, identify their sources. Everything sheds particles, and the human nose can pick up those particles. For instance humans generally like the smell of Iotans because Iotins shed compounds similar to foods that humans like to eat. Once upon a time it might have been used to help humans detect poison or other predators, but like I have said before, a human is a middleman in abilities. All of a human’s senses are relatively dull in comparison to some of their earth counterparts.”

He turned to his projector and flipped it to the anatomical structure of a dog, one that had been oddled off the only dog that many aliens had ever met.

Waffles the admiral’s dog.

“This creature’s sense of smell is powerful enough,they have been known to track a sent trail for miles through densely wooded forests. They can smell a change in hormone and pheromone levels on other creatures, and are even being used to detect certain diseases. The best a human can do is smell a cooking meal.”

He walked in a wide circle looking out at the students, some of them looking excited, others staring on in trepidation.

“Human eyesight is on a similar level to their smell. Humans have binocular vision which makes their depth perception quite good. A human is perfectly capable of snatching a flying object out of the air as their predatory instincts draw them to movement. This also makes humans very adept at navigating through obstacles like they might once have had to do in trees. Furthermore, it allows them to guess distance to prey during hunting.” He switched to a picture of a drev, “However humans do not have the best vision out of all aliens species. While the acuity of a human and a Drev are similar, Drev can detect Ultraviolet wavelengths where humans can only see the visible spectrum.” He looked at some of the Vrul, “Take solace in the knowledge that you can see thermal where humans cannot. They have relatively poor night vision, but better than that of you or I and far better than the Drev who traded the use of multiple cones to very frew light sensing rods.”

He looked up from his lecturing, “Are there any questions so far.”

Every had in the room shot into the air.

He paused to look at them faces lit by the glowing bluish light of the hologram behind him and sighed, he supposed this is what he was here for.

“Let’s star in the back then, shall we.”

One of the hands went down.

“Sir, is it true that humans are capable of surviving cortical tissue damage.”

Krill snorted, a sound he probably shouldnt have been able to make since he didn’t have a nose but one he had learned how to make because it expressed a very important emotion when interacting with humans. The entire class looked at him funny.

He sighed, “Yes, The first surgery I preformed on a human involved removing an eight inch steel rod from an eye socket which had gone into cortical tissue. To this day that human… well hes been doing fine, a bit of a dumbass sometimes, but I think that was a part of his personality before brain damage.”

They stared at him confused until Krill realised that dumbass probably wasn’t in their vocabulary. It probably translated to silent butt or idiot butt which didn’t have the same kind of ring to it.

Krill waved a hand, “In certain cases humans have been known to survive with only one hemisphere of their brain.”

A chorus of disbelief, “It is true, in certain cases where electrical abnormalities n the brain cause convulsions, surgeons intentionally remove half the brain to increase quality of life. There are a couple of downsides to this of course, like the inability to play musical instruments, but most humans still live a productive and fulfilling life after the procedure.”

More hands shot up again.

He turned and chose one at Random.

“Can humans smell fear”

Krill frowned, “No humans can’t smell fear. Whoever told you that was smoking something.”The class stared blankly at him until he picked another hand.

“Are you worried that the humans will ever…. Turn on you?”

Krill raised his hands into the air in exasperation, “They are SENTIENT beings not wild animals  Humans have strict social rules like you or anyone else. It would be illegal for them to hurt me , and I doubt they would let it happen at all. Humans aren’t feral. In fact my partner aboard the ship is Doctor Katie Quinn, and she is just as experienced in the field of medicine as I am. SHe can match me in almost any medical procedure and she only has two cortical hemispheres, and less than half the amount of hands.”

He frowned at the room, “I have no idea where ou all got these ideas from. Humans are thinking creatures not animals. The reason they survived on their planet is not because they are the strongest predator, but because they are the smartest, just like you or I. the only difference between us is that the Human planet is so hostile, they have been forced to keep some of their more instinctive tendencies.”

More hands raised.

“Have you seen one of these larger earth animals, sir?”

“Yes on plenty of occasions.” He flipped his diagram back to that of a dog, “This animal here is called a dog, the ancestral  evolution of the wolf, which is just a much larger version of this animal here. These animals are higher on the food chain that humans and have the ability to easily outrun, attack and rip the throat out of a human.” He paused as the class pulled back, “Which is why humans often use them in security, protection and law enforcement, because no human wants to fight one of these creatures.” He smiled a bit grimly, “Also humans just love to keep them as pets.”

There was an uproar around the room.

How could anyone want to keep something that could rip their face off as a pet.

Krill raised a hand to quiet down the room, “I know, I know, it all sounds very strange, but you must understand, humans and dogs are both descended from highly social pack groups. At one point a human took wolf cubs and began raising them and breeding them for desirable traits. As wolves are pack animals they slowly would have begun to see humans as members of their own pack family. In this humans molded a creature into being one of their greatest allies. Dogs rely on humans and humans rely on dogs for many jobs. Humans love dogs and dogs love humans. In fact, humans have bred this animal so extensively that dogs are one of the only creatures on their own planet capable of reading human facial expressions.”

He pulled up an image from his personal files, one where Adam sat on the floor, and the dog Waffles sat next to him. He made a face as her long, pink tongue ran up the side of his cheek.

The class gasped.

“She could easily use this opportunity to kill him.” krill said, “But she never would.” He turned to another image of himself standing next to the dog, a hand resting on her back.

More gasping.

Krill was somewhat amused. “Humans, as I said are social in the extreme, and this fact is going to be our best ally when meeting them. Anyone and anything can become part of a human pack. In fact, this instinct in humans is so strong that inanimate objects can easily be accepted into a human’s pack. They routinely name plants and attribute personalities to them. I once conducted an experiment where I placed fake eyes.” Googly eyes to be exact, “On a waste receptacle, and the humans named him Mr. Rubbish and began throwing away their items exclusively in that specific receptacle as ‘Offerings’ to Mr Rubbish….. That is not a joke, that actually happened.” He appraised them with a stern look, “Befriending humans is the most important thing you can do, and probably one of the easiest things as well. If you find yourself incapable of making friends with a human, its probably time to look at yourself personally because you must be horrible.” he pointed to himself, “I will openly admit that my personality isn’t exactly the easiest to be around, and yet I still managed it on accident.”

His lecture continued for some minutes, covering more anatomy, bone structures and some interesting facts about their internal organs.

However he was forced to stop as little lights began blinking overhead, and he went to dismiss the class, “Next week we will be discussing the effects of adrenaline on humans as a special treat to those who decide to return after this first lecture. And for your assignment, I want you to find one news article that perpetuates a myth about humans and write a short essay debunking it. Since this is the first week I am going lenient on assignments but by the end of the term I do expect full essays at publishable quality.”

Everyone in the class stood, and he found himself suddenly swarmed by a mass of figures.

It seemed as if he was going to be here for a while.

Little did Krill know that his lecture series was becoming so popular that the administration was going to have to upgrade his lecture hall two more times in the concurrent weeks.

Everyone wanted to know about humans.

[your-fav-is-an-ib-kid]

idk if you want/can answer questions like this but um do you have any advice for people going into the IB program ?

hi! Good luck on the getting into IB! I would absolutely love to give some advice. As much as this blog jokes and complains about it the program can be a really cool thing that teaches you a lot of skills and the content can be super engaging if you have good teachers. Every school is different naturally but here are some general tips! (And this blog is certainly followed by plenty of current or former IB kids so if any followers have advice please feel free to add to this post!)

1. First and foremost: You’ll be fine. So again, this whole blog is full of people complaining and joking but the IB program is nowhere near as bad as the worst you’ll hear. Don’t let the culture around it trick you; if you do the work you will be okay. Staying all night every night, needing caffeine to survive, having no social life etc are not actually things that should be part of your normal life and if you’re that overwhelmed there’s likely problem you may need to work on. Find what works best for you, keep up with the work, and keep an eye of your mental health. It might be harder than what you’re used to at first and there may be an adjustment period but you can do it promise. 

2. Actually do the work and prep work. It is 1000% easier when you take the time to do the work. Could you not read the material and BS- class discussions and exams? Maybe. But it will be way harder than actually taking the time to read the book. And hey some of it may actually be pretty interesting.

3. Try your absolute hardest not to procrastinate. Especially on the big stuff. Pretty basic tip but boy does it help. Sometimes procrastination feds from an anxiety about doing it right. Know that just starting gets you on that path. Sometimes it’s executive dysfunction. Find your best personal fix for that: setting timers for stating and breaks, setting specific times, pairing a task with another easier chore or pair it with going out somewhere else, having a designated study zone/time, break the task down etc. Personally I also like writing down assignments as due much earlier than it’s actually due to trick my brain. Whatever works!

4. Learn to study. A lot of IB kids are ex-gifted kids who never learned to study but in IB you actually need to. Even if you aren’t it’s good to learn to be good at studying. Learn what’s best with you. Do you need a designated study area? Alone or with classmates? Test questions or reading over notes? Try to avoid cramming though-study in blocks. You’ll especially need to learn how to memorize memorize memorize

5. Make friends with your fellow IB kids. You’re all in this together and it’s much more fun to be stuck with friends. And to have peers to work with. Make study groups, make group chats, have hang-outs. This can help you succeed in class and keep your mental health intact. Reach out to teachers too when you’re struggling ideally, they should be there to help you

I believe they changed some of the exams and things after I graduated so some specifics may not be relevant. Any recent grads/current students please feel free to correct me. But here’s some quick specific tips:

1. get started early (start logging CAS activities ASAP, brainstorm ideas and prepare sources for essays and projects (especially the EE!) long before you need it, read the literature and memorize quotes, prepare your arguments and evidence and understand both.

2. Anything can count for CAS if you make it count

3. Know your literary features

4. make sure to prepare for the specific format of the exams and projects. IB is very strict about their guidelines. Ideally your teachers should prepare you by teaching these guidelines and giving practice papers. Most of them are essays and many of them you have to come with evidence memorized

5. Take classes that interest you. there’s not a whole lot to choice in IB but if your school gives you options absolutely take them.

Overall good luck! Don’t stress! You’ll get what you put into it. And then you can come back and laugh with the rest of us.

[bookofmirth]

Hi!

I hope i don't bother you with this long ask, but do you have any tips on how to become good at writing meta?

I like to read discourses/discussions in tumblr and learn from them but i still have trouble writing my opinions or even replying to arguments, english is not my first language but i read a lot of books and i don't have trouble understanding them i rarely come across a line that needs to be translated and so far it only happened with classics.

Someone suggested that i should always practice automating new vocabularies but i find myself forcing them alongside my childish writing and it turns out bad.

In other words, i don't have trouble when speaking, hearing or reading english but when it comes to writing i always get stuck.

Yes!!! I do!!!

Based on your writing in this ask, I don't think that your grammar or vocabulary would be an issue. Meta and analysis is much more reliant on critical thinking and being able to come up with questions that you can then investigate. tbh, anyone who would criticize your grammar instead of your actual thoughts isn't worth your time.

***I'm going to use a bunch of examples of fandom arguments or metas that I have seen, but I don't necessarily agree with them. I am just explaining how they work.

***One more thing, this is generally about developing and supporting arguments - analysis of a text is a separate though related thing and I have a post in my drafts about that. I will try to get that finished by the end of this week!

Make your argument clear. Complex grammar isn't necessary. All you need to do is make sure that you are using modifiers or hedging or contextualizing your claims. So for example, if I said "I think that characters will die in acotar5", that's super vague. What characters? Why? How? The conversation is dead before it starts. However, if I said "I think that Lady of Autumn will kill Beron in acotar5", that's put some parameters around my argument and now I have somewhere to start. I know what kind of evidence I will need. I know what characters I will need to consider. Also think about contextualizing, like "well if X happens, then this other thing is possible." Absolute statements (e.g. "Sarah has never written a logical magic system") will get you into trouble because they are easy to pick apart. Even if they are mostly true.

Have evidence! I always have the ebooks because they are easily searchable. You could also mark up your book, if you think you'll need that info a lot. I like to use colored tabs in my physical books, and sometimes I write notes in the margins. I got used to marking as I went when I was in university, noticing themes as I went along.

More on evidence: something that is just as important as having evidence is knowing how to use it. I see a lot of posts that are 20% writing, 80% screenshots from an ebook. NO. DO NOT DO THAT. Why? Because we've read the damn book. We know what it says. If I wanted to read the book again, I would read it again. That's not why I am on tumblr. The reason you are writing a post is because you have an argument. What is that argument? How are you interpreting that scene? What do you think is the meaning behind a piece of dialogue? Throwing a quote at your audience and hoping it sticks is not effective use of evidence. You've got to explain how and why you are using it.

Still related to evidence, is make sure that the evidence both means what you think it means, and that it supports the argument you think it supports. If you have evidence that is supposed to support one interpretation of the text as being more reliable than another (e.g. what a lot of the ship war arguments are doing right now), then you will need a lot of evidence that can be interpreted the same way. For example, I believe that Azriel has never truly been in love, and I have a collection of evidence that together supports that interpretation, even if on their own those quotes could be interpreted differently.

Think about the implications of your arguments. This means that if you say "Elain is sus", then you need to think about how her being sus would then impact the characters around her. How would that change the way we interpret her behavior? How is that related to what we currently know about her motivations and wants and needs and values? I went through this process in this post about whether or not she knows how the mating bond. I took someone else's argument, thought about who Elain is as a person, thought about the people closest to her, and what the implications of that argument are. We can't just say something like "Elain doesn't fit in with the Night Court" without then looking at her relationships and comparing them to other relationships, comparing her current relationships with her past behavior, etc. Basically what you're doing is testing the argument in different contexts and seeing if it still makes sense.

And yes, be respectful. People will misunderstand you. Sometimes unintentionally, sometimes just to be assholes. But we can't control their responses to us. Just on a basic level though, the moment someone feels attacked, they shut down. Conversation over. (The only exception to this is if the person is bullying, being racist, ableist, etc. Then fuck being respectful.)

Side note three, the stuff about evidence is one of the main things I teach my students and it's not an easy skill to master. It takes time.

Let me know if that helps! You do have to get into a rhythm and it takes a lot of practice. Like a lot a lot. But you can say things that are wrong and that's fine. If someone is rude to you in response, block them. The end!

[danniburgh]

I KNEW THERE WAS ONE PERSON I HAVEN'T PERSONALLY ATTACKED YET!!!

So picture this. You're an art history professor and you're having lecture in a museum and as you explain to your students about the mathematical perfection and contrapposto poses of the Greek Sculptures, you're suddenly interrupted by someone walking by and you're momentarily struck by his beauty because yes, this man is beautiful. And he puts those sculptures to shame with his soft eyes and scruffy facial hair and striking nose and-

"I'm so sorry I couldn't help but hear that you said that the mathematical proportions of the statues were 1 to 8!? I believe you meant 1 to 7."

And you swear his voice has enchanted you but then you register what he said and the whispers of your students and-

"Excuse me sir, I'd appreciate if you didn't teach my student incorrect information."

And he has the audacity to smile and steal your fucking heart with that dashing smirk and he steps closer and looks over to your students and just-

"I truly am sorry but...I think you should perhaps check again. And it is only fair that I get to make a request from you if I'm right."

So you befriend pull out your phone and look over your notes and...fuck. He was right. How could you make such a stupid mistake?

"Huh, I stand corrected. It is 1 to 7 not 1 to 8."

"Well actually that's not true either. You see, with

Polykleitos' canon, the ration is 1 to 7. But with a sculpure like Apoxyomenos of Lysippos, you'll find that it is in fact 1 to 8. So technically, you weren't wrong, it's just that they different from one workshop to another."

You're suddenly confused the stirring emotions rising in your chest and as you look around and see your students jotting down notes, you feel heat rush to your face because what could he possibly ask from you? So as you dismiss your students for lunch and tell them to meet back on the second floor when they're done, you turn around and swallow nervously when you notice the way he's looking at you.

"So, what can I help you with Mr?"

"Actually, it's Agent Pike...but you can call me Marcus."

Your begin to panic when you see his badge and immediately take a step back.

"Youre not in trouble I promise, I'm actually here to ask if it was possible that we get your expertise on an important matter."

You begin to relax when he explains to you why they need you and ask you make your way to the cafeteria, you realize that this man doesn't just have looks but brains as well and it sets off butterflies in your eyes because god....he's dangerous.

"So was that the request then?"

"Oh no no far from it...my request is, well, umm...I was wondering if you'd like to get coffee with me sometime."

He's blushing so hard and you think that he must be the most perfect man to ever exist and-

"I would love to...and maybe we could talk about some more proportions too."

😏😈

I'm all about that BDE you know....

how fucking dare you HOW FUCKING DARE YOU

Marcus isn't even mine lmao but look...

He arrives early at the café just because he wants to make sure to feel relaxed as he waits, but he doesn't really lmao, and when he sees you walking down the street from the window with a, idk, sundress on he curses himself bc he's still wearing a suit from work.

He all but peels the jacket off and as you enter he's rolling his sleeves up and you're like OH NO.

You spend like 4 hours in that café just covering your opinions on art; your favorite movements, who stole what from whom, the discussion gets pretty heated up when you start talking about hyperrealism for some reason...

“So, I was wondering...” he starts, checking his watch and realizing the place is almost about to close “would you let me buy you dinner?”

You smile at him and he feels already broken inside because GODDAMMIT yourse so pretty and so smart and so witty and so funny and GORGEOUS AAAAAA

“Of course, Marcus, we still have to cover magical realism...”

SO you go off to dinner at a little Italian restaurant he knows and again, wow you really don't stop talking at fucking all... he doesn't remember ever going out with someone whose conversation he always reciprocated...

And dinner is filled with those little glances you start giving each other as hints for wanting something else to happen later. As you wait for dessert you leave your hand on the table and he slides his over yours. You feel a slight bolt of energy running from your fingers to your back and Marcus smiles because he sees you shiver.

“Wanna keep the night going?” you ask him on a whisper.

The waiter comes with your blueberry and chocolate cake slice before he gets to answer.

[remakethestars]

RAVENCLAW 💙🦅🤎

Headcanons.

❝Even in the blackness, light can be found. My enemy can be outsmarted.❞

— Alex Hirsch, Journal 3

This is my house, y'all; buckle up!

Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, & Slytherin. Headcanon masterlist.

The door'll let you in for witty responses.

We prop it open during exam season, when everyone's coming back from dinner, on party nights, & when no one can solve the riddle.

Questions become more difficult to answer after curfew.

Everyone waits outside & pretends not to know first night until the first-years figure it out.

Today's riddle & answer posted on the back of the door every morning; check before you leave just in case.

Sometimes you find the prefects debating over what the answer is; no one leaves the common room until someone's figured it out, so sometimes, the entirety of Ravenclaw is late to breakfast.

Again, if we absolutely can’t, we’ll prop it open.

If the door’s propped open and you remove the prop, we’ll use the guillotine on you.

Everyone has at least one hill to die on.

There's a podium by the fireplace with a record book on it of all the books in Ravenclaw's library that you can ask for help finding books from (pages flip in their own). 

If you’re in a reading slump, describe what you're looking for; we've probably got it!

If you don't like writing & highlighting in the books, it'll disappear while you have it, but everyone's free to mark in them. 

So good at reading their own messy notes and the notes their friends wrote they can read a doctor's handwriting.

And there are notes everywhere. As organized as some Raveclaws wish they could be, you can't make notebooks & journals as organized as Google Doc & Word documents. Unless, ya know … someone made a spell for that — hold on, I gotta write that down!

Professors find notes — ideas for spells & potions — on the back of homework & tests. More knowledgeable teachers will add their ideas or advice before handing it back.

Everyone leaves a copy of their favorite book with annotations before they leave seventh year. 

There's a coffee/tea cart in the common room. 

Hallways to the dorms are covered in graffiti from students long passed.

Dorms branch off based on your year. 

Girls can walk into the boy's dorms & vice versa. 

All rooms are extended for more space.

Beds are built into the wall like window seats & have bookshelves where the head and footboards should be. 

Dark blue curtains can be drawn shut if you're feeling introverted. 

Trunks go under the bed, so they're kinda high off the ground.

Cast an extension charm if you’re claustrophobic.

At the end of every year, everyone congregates in the common room, someone casts glisseo on the stairs to Ravenclaw tower, & everyone slides their trunks down (it's called "the trunk shoving").

No one gives a single sh¡t about house points.

Ravenclaw’s are always blowing something up & losing points.

Dramatic about stubbing their toe, but super casual about ending up in the hospital wing because they "wanted to test a hypothesis."

If you have a question or don't understand something, ask it loudly in the common room; someone will undoubtedly answer or direct you to another who can.

Just don't use bad grammar, or sixteen people will correct you in unison. 😅

Learn (a) new language(s) in the common room 20:00–21:00 Mon.–Fri.

Tutoring sessions are in the common room at 21:00–22:00 Mon.–Fri. Or ask for private lessons to work around your schedule.

If a particular teacher's sh¡t, we host a class in the common room after dinner.

Also, there're just classes for random stuff: art, budgeting, codes & code-breaking, cooking, dancing, darning, fencing, ice skating (in the winter months), knot tying, lock picking, makeup, Morse code, muggle martial arts, sewing…

First years are all offered a class on note taking.

A lot of us do our homework on Friday night so we don't have to worry about it all weekend, so there're no party activities tonight, but you can play a muggle board game if you want.

Karaoke on Saturday nights.

Dungeons & Dragons on Sunday nights.

D&D’s swapped out for a play once a month; screw the theater ban! (For an explanation of Hogwarts’s theater ban, see Albus Dumbledore’s notes on “The Fountain of Fair Fortune” in The Tales of Beedle the Bard.)

Morning yoga in the common room — feel free to join; we'll teach you some poses.

Ask around; whatever you're looking for — info, candy, contraband — someone probably hands it out, sells it, can get it for you, and/or can tell you where to find it.

Pass around a spell that allows them to clean themselves. Who has time for showering?

And a potion that gives them the same feeling & energy as if they slept. Who has time for sleeping?

Yes, we're building a guillotine in the common room.

Please don't utilize it in the decapitation of any living person or thing (unless it's the Snape or Umbridge)!

Our next project is a carousel. With working lights & everything.

Yes, we're building a house of cards in the common room; please don't blow on it.

Be quiet until noon on the weekends or get hexed.

Thank Merlin they teach sign language in the common room every year & everyone knows enough to get by.

Parties are highly regulated.

People volunteer to walk people back to their dorms & put up protection charms so you don't get assaulted. Those people are vetted with Veritaserum first to confirm the authenticity of their intentions.

People often get into academic debates, which can get a bit loud; just silencio them & move on.

The entrances to the dorms are hidden behind moving bookshelves.

The Ravenclaw copy of Hogwarts: A History will tell you more than you realized you needed to know; there're enough notes in the margins to make a second book, including how to enter the kitchens, how to sneak out if the castle, how to find the Room of Requirement…

They've located more secret passages & rooms in Hogwarts using spells they created than the Marauders were aware of.

First-years are told how to put extension charms on their backpacks so they're not heavy — that's a crap-ton of stairs.

There's an incredibly thick book by a armchair near the fireplace that's full of testaments of Ravenclaw's alumni. "What's one thing you wish you'd known when you started Hogwarts?" First-years are encouraged to flip through it.

And taught a low-concentration spell for levitating books while laying down so your arms don't get tired (flick wand to turn page).

Common room's extended to fit all kinds of activities (and the bookshelves).

Some third-years built an aquaponic system on top of one of the window seats; take a cucumber, if you want, or stop to look at the fish.

Again, explosions are not uncommon. (Please don’t drop any explosives in the fish tank. As water isn’t as compressible as air, this will kill the fish.)

Everyone just kinda glances over to make sure you’re okay before going back to what they were doing.

There's always a record playing.

They host a hike through the Forbidden Forest once a week, because what even are rules?

If you hear an intelligent conversation taking place, feel free to sit down & listen or jump in!

The wind whistles against the windows all year round, but they've been charmed to keep water out.

Played The Floor is Lava before it was a meme.

There's a two-way mirror on the wall above the fireplace. There's a muggle television on the other side. No one's sure whose T.V. it is, but a lady comes in in the mornings in hair curlers & watches the news.

She puts in V.H.S. tapes of Disney movies at the start of term. Hypothesis says it's for the first years & this person's a half-blood or a muggle-born.

Sometimes, people work together to solve the Friday crossword in The Daily Prophet. It's the hardest all week.

Look at each other like they're the camera in The Office when someone says something stupid.

Oh, boy, if someone's found a really good mystery book… That sh¡t’s getting magically copied & passed around. We discuss theories at meals, pass notes in class, & set up a murder board in the common room.

Actually, Ravenclaw house has solved a number of murders in its free time.

Visit my Ravenclaw YouTube playlist & Pinterest board.

DISCLAIMER ━━━ These headcanons are what I consider to be canon in my fanfictions. They may be others’s headcanons I’ve subconsciously filed away in my noggin. If one’s yours and you want it removed or credited, please send me your post and let me know.

[lovelivingmydreams]

The worst possible thing.

*stares at this long and hard.* Fine!

@kingcreativityau you know who is responsible for what comes next.

Yes @hunter-with-a-tardis I'm looking at you

Janus was pacing the floor. He didn't like this one bit.

“What's taking him so long?” he wondered aloud.

It was a rhetorical question and the sides who were sitting here waiting couldn’t answer him even if it wasn't. No one liked this plan. It hadn't even been a plan. It was half an idea Logan and Janus would have dismissed at once if Virgil hadn’t been in the room  and overheard Janus mumble about it. Harnessing Virgil’s given powers and undo what king had done.

It was too risky to even consider. Janus didn’t need Virgil to point out all  the ways it could go very wrong. To everyone’s shock Virgil came with a solution though. He'd take king up on his offer and finish the gallery, ask him to teach him to get control over the shadows. If king took a liking to teaching, which Virgil thought he might, he'd keep doing it and eventually Virgil could lift the curses and they all could get back to helping Thomas.

Janus had wanted to argue. Sure king enjoyed instructing others in skills he felt more proficient at. He recalled King teaching him to duel not too long ago. He also remembered what happened after the student caught up though. King storming away and then, after he'd managed to get out of king's obstacle… how he'd been cornered, the panic the punishment for daring to upset the king in any way. No this was their mess. Virgil was not yet on king's bad side. That was a card they couldn't waste on something that risky.

But Logan had been writing and Janus was convinced he'd say something similar. And Virgil was more likely to listen to Logan so he'd waited.

He should have known Logan would never just dismiss any idea out of hand.

Somehow they'd all agreed to see if Virgil could get a first lesson. And soon Virgil left them to practice with the king every day. Which should be a comfort right? King clearly enjoyed the activity and he was not suspicious of anything. That was exactly what had Janus worried now.

Because king wasn't the only one enjoying the lessons. Sure Virgil still seemed terrified of the man, but whenever he returned he was deep in thought, sometimes with a small smile on his face. The one that said: I just did something right.

He'd been looking at them oddly too, like he was figuring out a complicated puzzle.

Something was off but Virgil refused to talk about it. Something about a promise he made.

A click of a pen echoed through the mostly empty space and Janus' head snapped up.

Logan needed his attention.

He was scribbling down something as fast as he could and handed it over. Janus read it over. It was a long ramble, but it came down to one thing.

“I do have faith in Virgil. It's king I’m worried about. One perceived slight and…”

Janus touched the mark on his face. The memory of it's creation very vivid in his mind.

“Aw, you do care,” Virgil's voice came from behind him. Janus whirled around.

Something about what he saw took him back, to a time when he had two misfit friends who didn't hate him. Before the fight.

Maybe if was that mischievous smirk or the way he carried himself as if he couldn't care less what other people thought. Except now he really seemed to mean it.

His clothes weren’t back to normal by any means. They were upgraded though. From a dark version of Roman's original outfit to one reflecting the fitting in upgrade. Except Virgil wore a few medals pinned on his vest. As well as applying Virgil's black and purple with white detailing color scheme.

He also wore a dark purple hooded cape instead of a sash.

Most startling of all, he looked genuinely comfortable with it all.

“Virgil? Is that you?” Janus asked.

Virgil nodded, still smirking. “Indeed it is,” the deep terrifying voice of the King boomed and suddenly he stood behind him hands delicately resting on the youngest side’s shoulders.

But Virgil didn’t even flinch.

“Dear Anxiety made so much progress, I felt he deserved a promotion. I offered him the title of Prince,” king summoned a dark crown in his hand only to immediately clench his fist and make the image disappear. “but he is so loyal to those he considers friends he wouldn't even consider to take my light half’s title,” King praised fondly. He stroked Virgil's hair for a moment. “So he is my head counselor now on top of creative minister. And you should all be happy to know, he made a plea on your behalf.” King waved his hand and suddenly Patton was six years old.

“Wha… I can talk?” Logan gasped astonished.

“You explain the conditions to them. I have to get back to work.” And just like that, King was gone.

“You did it?” Janus asked perplexed this was too good to be true.

“King did. Don't take his generosity for granted,” Virgil warned sternly.

“Virgil, kiddo…”

“You shall not address me like that!” Virgil hissed, his voice booming, twisted and sinister, a dark aura flaring up, making them all step backwards in shock.

Virgil took a deep breath. “Names are for friends and allies. After what I heard… you’ll have to earn my trust back,” he explained a little calmer. They all froze in horror. King told him… of course he did. He'd have to be a fool not to.

“These gifts have conditions attached. Morality you can get back to your own age with good behavior, the reverse is true as well though. Logic your voice can not speak ill of the king and what you do say about him will find it’s way to us.

Any and all communication to the king must go through me. You remember my shadow?” the creature in question appeared next to Virgil.

“He'll… assist you when I am with the king. Ask him if you need to ask me or king something. Oh and fair warning….” Suddenly they all fell to the ground. Crushed by guilt and fear and desperation.

“I’ll do anything to protect Thomas from having to live without us ever again. I won‘t permit you to anger the king. Understood?”

They all nodded as they whipped at their tears.

“Good. Dismissed.” When they looked up Virgil was gone. Only his shadow remained. The creature stared back at them looking heartbroken. “I’m sorry,” it whispered.

“This… might be the worst possible thing,” Logan muttered as he helped Patton up. While the two oldest sides discussed their situation Janus stared in horror at the tragic looking shadow.

How could he have let this happen?

 Janus opened his eyes. He was sweating, his heart was racing. What was real, what was a dream? He looked around. He was in his room. He got up to his knees and tapped a rhythm neither he or his neighbor had heard in years. Virgil used to wake up from nightmares like this. Not sure about reality and scared to leave his room. So they came up with a system. Notes weren't an option when you didn't want to turn on the light and alert Remus someone was awake to play with him. So they made up their version of Morse code.

‘What is going on' was always the start of such a conversation. It was just a long series of rapid light knocks. The first reaction, ‘I hear you' was a flat palm against the door. Then you wait for the other to respond. Virgil's response was quicker than he expected.

‘Patton. Small. Logan. Silent. Twins. One.’

Janus nodded. He hadn't dared to hope that all of it was a dream.

‘you?’ he asked. Though he doubted if Virgil could know what to tell him to assure him he wasn't currently being tutored by king. ‘Scared. Confused. Angry. Sad.’

Janus bit his lip. Virgil didn't use the code for pupil. If there was any real plan like in his nightmare Virgil would mention it. He’d been on the other side of these conversations often enough. Yes, everything was… well not fine but not as horrible as he'd feared. All he had to do to keep his dream from happening was not leave Virgil alone with the king. And… maybe figure out how to tell Virgil what had happened all these years ago.

Janus got ready to knock. There was a knock that meant to convey empathy. To be a comforting reminder that Virgil was not alone. But halfway through he remembered another pattern. One Virgil would always close the conversation with. It was almost an alternative for goodnight in these conversations. But it meant ‘Sorry’. Janus' scales stung with the thought of that word. But if he knocked the pattern… it wasn't the same right?

He took a deep breath and started out with: ‘Thanks.’ He readied his hand it was just three knocks long… But the very thought was agony

‘Welcome. Good night.’

Janus sighed as he heard the reply. Perhaps another time.

‘Good night.’

@moonlightshow00 @naturallyunstablegamer @alias290 @meowthefluffy @antiredhuman

[cyhyr]

Summer of Whump Day 15: Sleep Deprived

Fandom: Naruto

Rating: G

Pairing: Hatake Kakashi & Umino Iruka; Umino Iruka & Uzumaki Naruto

WC: ~3320

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Notes: AU backstory for the purposes of I Wanted To.

A/N: This is just. I don't even know guys. I started writing and then it got bigger and bigger and I couldn't stop. It's just. A Lot.

~

Kakashi has not been able to take care of his sensei’s child the way he should, the way the boy admittedly deserves; and yes, absolutely, he takes that fault personally but also doesn’t do anything about it because really… what can he provide for this child besides instability? He’s hardly in the village anymore, though Sandaime has hinted that, if Kakashi asked, he could be assigned missions closer to home. Instead, Kakashi does what he can without bothering Naruto or letting the boy realize that he even exists. He ensures the bills are paid up in six-month increments, and has the utility companies know to charge to his personal account anything he misses due to being out on mission. He provides non-perishable groceries, placed in the pantry late at night every month or so: oats, rice, dried or tinned meats, beans and legumes. He’ll bring a small selection of vegetables with him at the same time, (no more than three or four items, so they don’t rot before Naruto feels obligated to eat them) usually pilfered from Gai’s garden so he knows they’re not poisoned.

And whenever he’s in the village, he makes a stop at Naruto’s apartment at least once to check in on the wards wrapped into the walls and window frames.

This is how he learns about Umino Iruka and the interest he’s taken in the village jinchūriki.

~

The wards when he gets to Minato’s son’s apartment this time are different. Odd. Not… well, actually, they might be stronger; Kakashi glances at the walls with the sharingan and finds himself mildly impressed. Whoever placed these wards knew about the ones Kakashi put up, and modified their own to augment and strengthen Kakashi’s.

Kakashi says modified because he’s seen these styles of wards before, but never used like this. The key in the front door jingles a bit, like the person unlocking the door knows Kakashi’s in here and is giving him time to leave. Kakashi takes the out for what it is and slips out the window, closing it quietly behind him. He stays plastered against the wall beside the window for a moment, however, wanting to get a glimpse of who’s taking care of his sensei’s kid in Kakashi’s stead.

The door opens and Naruto—gods, how old is he, seven? Eight?—barrels by the figure in the doorway with a grin and shoots straight for the pantry.

“Naruto-kun, take your sandals off first. I mopped for you just earlier this week, I’m not doing it again so soon.”

One arm balancing a paper bag of fresh groceries, a leather school bag over the same shoulder; hitai-ate and vest both neat, but his sleeves and pants legs are scuffed; and his fingers carry the faint dusting of chalk that hours of holding ingrains and a quick wash won’t wipe away. A teacher.

“Iruka-sensei, I can mop later; I’m hungry now!”

“I won’t ask you twice.” The man—this Iruka-sensei—walks barefoot through the apartment and sets the grocery bag down on the kitchen table. Naruto hangs his head and goes back to the door, and once he’s out of the room, Iruka looks at the window Kakashi is peeking in, scowling initially. The scowl lessens when he sees the Konoha ANBU mask, and he nods, but makes a slight shoo gesture.

“What’re we making tonight, sensei?” Naruto bounds back into the room, barefoot as his sensei.

“I’m thinking of teaching you breakfast for dinner,” Iruka says. “Miso soup, tamagoyaki, steamed salmon; how’s that sound?”

“Sounds great!”

“And if we make enough, you’ll have enough for the morning, too,” Iruka ruffles Naruto’s hair. “Go grab out the rice and we’ll get started, okay?”

Kakashi leaves. Iruka-sensei seems to have only good intentions.

~

Iruka is a new teacher, one that (if the very quiet rumors are to be believed) didn’t initially want to be the jinchūriki’s homeroom teacher. Something changed his mind, clearly, and now he’s spending every moment outside of class with the kid.

Every. Moment.

Kakashi notices the third time he’s in the village after meeting Iruka—notices how tired the man seems. He follows the teacher from just before dawn when he wakes up and heads out to Naruto’s apartment and fixes him breakfast. Kakashi watches Iruka herd Naruto around the apartment, brushing teeth, getting changed, gods Naruto where’s your homework I told you to put it right back in your bag last night after I helped you with it. Then they’re out the door and one of them locks the deadbolt while the other activates the wards (Iruka always double-checks the wards if Naruto does them) and they walk to the Academy together.

Iruka spends the day in the Academy staunchly refusing to play favorites. If Kakashi didn’t know that the man had made Naruto eat breakfast while searching for a clean shirt for the child to wear, he’d swear Naruto was Iruka’s least favorite student—based solely on the amount of yelling.

But the two of them have lunch together, talk and hang out during recess unless Iruka shoos him away to play, and then they walk together to either Iruka’s or Naruto’s apartment after school. Sometimes they’ll go out for ramen, or to one of the training grounds to work on a technique they started in class which Naruto needs more time to fully grasp. Iruka is a patient teacher, especially one-on-one, and even though Minato-sensei’s son doesn’t perform well on the tests in school he learns the techniques after class and gains the appropriate muscle memory.

Which is admittedly much more important than the grades Naruto earns. Iruka won’t say as much, but it’s obvious that he agrees when his teaching style puts emphasis on practicals rather than paper tests. Kakashi approves.

After a day of minding twenty-five ankle-biters, an afternoon of extra training for the village jinchūriki, and an evening of making sure Naruto is fed and happy and his homework is completed to the best of his ability, Iruka then helps Naruto get ready for bed. Against the kid’s token protests, they’ll read a story together (Kakashi suspects Iruka does this because Naruto’s reading skills are lacking, but he could also very well just be doing it because he enjoys it—the man’s motives are enigma to him) and Iruka will tuck Naruto in. He stays at the apartment until he knows Naruto is asleep, tidying up here and there or even just leaning in the bedroom doorway watching the jinchūriki’s chest rise and fall.

Only when Naruto’s asleep will Iruka leave, activating the wards and locking up after himself.

It took only two times of Kakashi watching these kinds of days go by before he realized that Iruka knew he had been watched all day. As he passes the tree outside of Naruto’s building, the only one that reaches high enough to afford a glance into his apartment, Iruka looks right up into the limbs where Kakashi is crouched, waves, and continues back to his own home.

(He had been underestimating Umino Iruka’s awareness. He’s intrigued.)

(But anyway.)

Once he’s home, Iruka rushes through grading and lesson plans and adjustments. He makes lunch for himself and Naruto for tomorrow. Cleans, if he remembers; showers, if he has any energy left. Then, Umino-sensei crashes hard around one or two in the morning.

All to start over again at five-thirty the next morning.

It can’t be sustainable. Kakashi is morbidly interested in how long Iruka planned to keep up this kind of schedule.

~

It starts out with checking out during lunch. Kakashi is lounging in the trees on the Academy grounds, pretending to read but listening intently to Naruto ramble on about some new topping Ichiraku is introducing on Friday and please Iruka-sensei can we go? Then the soft click of dropped chopsticks against a bento box made Kakashi look down to the pair sitting at the base of his tree.

“Iruka-sensei? Are you—?”

“Oh, I’m. I’m alright.” Iruka laughs it off, fumbling for his chopsticks. “I was just thinking too hard there.”

“You shouldn’t do that!”

“Hu—?”

“You tell me not to think too hard all the time,” Naruto pouts. “That I’ll hurt myself.”

Iruka’s laugh crinkles his eyes and he tips his head back. “Gods, Naruto, I’m sorry—no, not—um. Listen, forget it, okay? Ramen, on Friday, right?”

“YES!”

And it was forgotten. Except, Iruka is unconsciously rubbing his fingers together beside his hip and Kakashi can see it. Something happened to force the drop—likely, he lost feeling in his hand briefly.

~

Kakashi’s out of the village as it gets worse, but he hears all about it from Shikaku and Inoichi when he gets back. They’re in the hallway outside the Hokage’s office, talking in low tones like they were discussing an attack on the village.

“What could cause such a serious mood shift?”

“Genjutsu; one of the other teachers sabotaging him; another student practicing poorly.”

“Iruka-sensei?” Kakashi asks.

Both men look at him as he approaches. He’s still in his ANBU armor, but the mask is in his locker. It’s an open secret he’s in ANBU; only his codename is high-clearance.

Shikaku nods. “Shikamaru’s complaining about the man’s temper being shorter than usual.”

“My Ino confirmed this behavior shift. We’re understandably worried, if someone if trying to use an Academy teacher to attack the kids—”

Kakashi shakes his head. “It’s not that.”

“And you would know?” Shikaku prompts.

“He’s taking care of Naruto,” Kakashi shrugs. “It’s probably catching up with him, finally.”

“What is?” Inoichi looks honestly confused.

Kakashi tilts his head and then realizes. “Ah. That’s right. You’re both married. You have a way to share the responsibilities.”

Sakumo hadn’t ever been irate with him, but Kakashi can remember him being tired. He lifts his hand and walks away. “I’ll see if I can’t have a talk with Iruka-sensei,” he says, as though he speaks with the man on a regular basis instead of just waving back from his shadowed space in the tree at night when Iruka leaves Naruto.

~

He doesn’t get a chance to talk to Iruka for weeks. When he gets back, it finally comes to a head.

Kakashi is perched outside Iruka’s apartment where he and Naruto are preparing their dinner. Naruto, still talking a mile a minute, hardly notices that Iruka is dazed at the counter, his hands going through the motions of peeling carrots and separating pieces of broccoli without being fully cognizant. He’s much paler than the last time Kakashi peeked in on them—all except for the bags under his eyes; those couldn’t get much darker if they were black.

He flinches forward as Iruka drifts to the side. Naruto catches his teacher before Kakashi can take a step, and the clang of a knife hitting the floor is more than a little startling. Together, they stick Iruka’s hand under running water from the tap, and then Naruto disappears further into the apartment and returns a few seconds later with a first aid kit.

“What was that about, Iruka-sensei?”

Iruka takes a bit to answer. “I haven’t been sleeping well,” he says. “I’m a bit tired, that’s all. Sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize,” Naruto says. He finishes caring for his sensei and then says, “How about I go get some take-out, and then we can clean up and you can go to bed?”

Iruka smiles tiredly. “We can bring the take-out to your place, okay? I’ll clean up when I come back home.”

“But—”

“It’s okay, Naruto,” Iruka puts his unbandaged hand in Naruto’s hair. “I’d rather make sure you’re fed and well-rested for school tomorrow. That’s what's important.”

“You’re important, too, sensei,” Naruto says.

Kakashi can’t help but agree.

“Let’s go get some ramen, and we can argue about this later.”

Kakashi flashes away to Ichiraku to put in their order and pay. It’s the least he can do, right?

Later that night, Iruka leaves Naruto’s apartment and like always, lifts his head to wave up at Kakashi in the tree. Only, his eyes roll back with the movement of lifting his head and his knees collapse under him and Kakashi makes it just in time to keep the sensei’s head from hitting the ground. He catches Iruka with one hand under his back and the other cupped behind his head and eases him down against his raised knee.

As soon as Iruka is horizontal, his eyes flutter back open. “Oh, ANBU-san,” he mutters. He’s dazed and foggy, but tries to stand up on his own anyway.

“Sensei, are you well?” Kakashi asks, knowing the answer but needing Iruka to admit it.

Iruka waves him away. “I’m fine, I’m fine. Just a little tired.”

It’s more than that if you’re slipping into micro-sleep, Kakashi thinks, but lets the man stubbornly stand up. He’s still holding his hands out, ready to catch him again, when after five paces Iruka tips sideways and falls again. Kakashi keeps him upright this time, arms tight around his waist and back.

Iruka stays under for a few seconds this time, and when he wakes he leans more heavily into Kakashi’s armor and groans. “What’s happening?” he murmurs.

Normally, he would stay and look after Naruto all night, but this seems more important. “Umino-sensei, I’m going to see you to the hospital now,” he says.

“But… Naruto?”

Because of course Iruka figured out that Kakashi—his ANBU persona at least—stays close to Naruto at all times. “Together, our wards are top-notch, sensei,” Kakashi says. “He’ll be okay for a night.” He slips Iruka onto his back, pulling his arms over his shoulders. Iruka’s light breath huffs past his ear as he says, “Hold on.” Then, they’re gone.

~

Iruka wakes up much later, Naruto tipped against his hospital bed, snoring. He feels so much better after however many hours of sleep he’s gotten. He wonders briefly why he’s here, and where the ANBU that brought him here is. If Naruto is here, that ANBU is likely closeby. Iruka lets out a jaw-cracking yawn and settles back down on the pillow to sleep some more.

When he wakes up the second time, it’s because he has to pee so bad oh gods. It’s night time and Naruto is gone—Iruka tries not to feel disappointed. His legs shake under him when he tries to stand to get to the restroom; whatever’s wrong with him, it’s making him weak as a newborn but he will not embarrass himself by not making it to the toilet. He pushes chakra through his legs, and, finally, blissfully, makes it.

He gets a good look at himself in the mirror as he’s washing his hands. His eyes are puffy and red, but he has some color back in his skin. His hair could use a wash and some heavy conditioning—he hadn’t had time for that in awhile. All in all, it’s not bad; but he’s still wondering why he’s here.

Iruka leaves the restroom and is halfway across the room to his bed when his chakra flares unexpectedly. He stumbles, collapses, and feels his eyes blur and begin to roll back.

Before his head can hit the tile, he’s caught and cushioned by Naruto’s ANBU. The ANBU gently picks him up, one arm under his knees and the other around his back, and it’s like Iruka weighs nothing as the ANBU stands and carries him back to bed.

“Thank-you, ANBU-san,” Iruka says, flushed. “I promise I’m not usually so weak.”

The ANBU fusses with the blanket and covers Iruka back up. He (Iruka assumes they’re a he, the voice and height lead him to believe it but he’s been wrong before) seems frustrated, in the way that ANBU show frustration: by being busy, and then by being absolutely still. He’ll make sure the water pitcher is full, and then stand silently by the window for a few seconds. Pace the width of the room from window to door and back, and then stand at the end of the bed.

“What’s going on, ANBU-san? Is Naruto—?”

“Uzumaki-kun is safe, healthy, and well-cared for,” the ANBU says, cutting him off. “You are a godsend to this village, if only to care for the uncared for.”

Iruka glowers. “Someone had to do it. He’s seven years old and living alone and has lived alone his entire life. I couldn’t—”

“I’m aware,” the ANBU holds up a hand to stop his rant. “Believe me, if I could have done more, I would have. But an ANBU is no role model, especially not me. I’m glad he’s had you. That said.” The ANBU somehow matched Iruka’s glower through the mask; he was suddenly glad for all the time spent in Sandaime’s office around the ANBU that he can pick up on these micro-aggressions for what they are.

Iruka folds his arms and waits for the ANBU to continue.

After a heavy sigh, the ANBU says, “Sleep deprivation.”

“I—what?”

“What you’re here for. You’ve been running yourself into the ground, sensei. You slept for twenty-two hours, and you’re still not fully recovered. The medics say it could take up to a week of proper sleep for you to feel normal again.”

Iruka flushes and ducks his head. “I… But, that doesn’t…”

“How much sleep have you been getting? Three, Four hours a night? And then you’re exhausting yourself all day looking after pre-genin and then Naruto.” The ANBU folds his arms. “This isn’t sustainable.”

“I know that. I just.” Iruka groans. “I don’t have time for—” He scrubs both hands across his eyes. Now that he’s actually gotten some sleep he’s really tired. “No one else takes care of him, not the way he needs it; he’s just a kid! It bothers me enough that he lives by himself—”

“Your immune system was compromised when you arrived, sensei.” The ANBU snapped, quieting Iruka’s tirade. “Who’s going to take care of Naruto the way he deserves if you’re stuck on your back with a perfectly, normally treatable form of the flu? What will happen to him if you critically injure yourself due to a micro-sleep at an inopportune time and find yourself off-roster for weeks? What then, sensei?”

The silence is heavy. Iruka picks at a stray thread in the blanket on his lap.

“I don’t know,” he answers, his voice small. “I didn’t… I wasn’t thinking that far ahead, I guess.”

The ANBU nods. “At least you’re aware now.”

There’s a long, awkward pause as Iruka wonders what else there is to say.

“You have a spare room in your apartment, yes?” the ANBU breaks the silence.

Iruka nods, slowly, not sure where this is going.

“Maybe…” the ANBU continues slowly, “maybe changes in Naruto’s living arrangements can be made. If Naruto were living with you, could you agree to a better sleep schedule—one with which you can better take care of yourself and Naruto?”

Iruka could kiss this man.

“Yes! Yes, please, I’ll—yes! I’ll take him, even if it means I have to lose him as a student, I’d take him as a foster.”

The ANBU chuckles. “I’ll speak with the Hokage. If he says no, well… There’s nothing saying that Naruto himself can’t choose where he lives, is there?” Then his micro-aggression is back, leaning over the foot of the bed with his arms wide. “My only stipulation is that you take better care of yourself. A sick guardian can’t very well keep up with any child, let alone a jinchūriki.”

Iruka nods. “Deal.” He covers a yawn with his palm and asks, “Can this taking care of myself clause start now, with me asking you to leave so I can go back to sleep?”

“I’m not leaving,” the ANBU says, standing back up straight. “If you’re to be the guardian of our jinchūriki, you’ll need to get used to the ANBU guard, sensei. But please, get some sleep.” He chuckles lightly, “I think I’ve caught you enough in the last thirty-six hours, don’t you?”

[clara-licht]

you are enough: first impression

Summary: She was just another face in the crowd, someone you wouldn’t look at twice. He never really noticed her. That is, until the fifth day.

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Word Count: 1.7k+

Warning: burst of anger? should that be a warning?

Timeline: Peter's first school year, pre-spider bite

Note: yay for first story! I wrote this under 3 hours from sudden burst of energy, so if you spot any mistake please let me know! This story is taken directly from my real experience on my fifth day of university. What happened then followed me even until now, but now my friends and I can look back on that day and laugh. Please tell me what you think about this 💜

Series Masterlist | Marvel Masterlist | Main Masterlist

——————————

Peter first noticed her on the fifth day of his first school year. Well, actually everyone in his class noticed her on that fifth day.

He had seen her a few times in some of his classes that week, but he didn’t really pay attention to her. After all, she was just another classmate. She was also pretty quiet and kept to herself most of the time. He didn’t think he had even heard her speak before.

Always wearing an unzipped jacket over a shirt, pants, a pair of Converse, and with her red Kipling backpack. Sitting on the second row. Earphones are usually on in between classes. As far as Peter was concerned, she was just another face to forget.

Until that fifth day.

He had come into class almost late that morning. It was Friday and Fridays always felt so slow since it’s so close to the weekend. Peter admitted his almost tardiness was the result of being too lazy to wake up on time when all he could think of was having the weekend off after a week of school.

The only seat left was the one behind her, so he just took it. His best friend since childhood, Ned, wasn’t in that class, and he didn’t really know anyone else yet, so no one saved him a “usual spot”.

When the teacher came in, Peter was already prepared to pay attention, hoping that the day would go faster if he was busy.

“We’re going to do a group project starting next week. Each group will take turns presenting their assignment every week, so that’s one group per week.” The teacher, Mrs. Warren, said. “Let’s see… We have 24 people here, so split into 6 groups of 4. I’ll give you 10 minutes to assign your own groups now.”

The classroom immediately erupted into chatter while Mrs. Warren turned her attention to the computer screen on her desk.

Peter felt some kind of dread as his classmates started talking among each other on how to split the class. He had nothing against group projects, but he knew virtually no one in this class and would most probably be left out and joined the “leftovers”. He could only hope that whoever winded up in his group could pull their own weight instead of just dumping their work on others.

Therefore he was pleasantly surprised when the girl at the front seat (“I think her name is Sally?”) turned around and said, “Should we just use our current seating to split the group? That way it’s random and fair.”

There were a few hums of agreement.

The classroom they were in had 8 long desks, 4 on each side of the room, with 3 seats per desk. So taking that into account, the group should consist of one student per desk. Seeing as Peter was sitting right behind her, that meant they would be in the same group.

Peter looked at who would be in his group. Aside from her, there were Sally (“It is Sally, right? Right…?”) and behind him was a guy whose name he couldn’t really recall. (“It’s either Tyler or Abe, I think…?”) Peter could kind of remember them being active in other classes, so that was a sigh of relief for him.

Until another student piped up.

“I don’t want to be in this group!”

Peter glanced at that student. ‘Ah, this one I know,’ he thought with a slight eye roll.

Eugene Thompson, though he insisted to be called Flash. He’d been loud in every class they shared and bragged a lot. One of those rich kids, Peter assumed. Growing up in a modest household, bragging about money was never something he could understand. If you had enough money to brag about, then maybe use them for charities and stuff instead? At least that was Peter’s opinion.

“Then which group do you want to be, uhh, Thompson, was it?” Sally asked.

“Call me Flash,” he answered. “And I don’t know, I just don’t want to be in this group!”

“Why?”

“I just don’t like it.” Flash shrugged nonchalantly.

Peter could see Sally’s eye twitch in annoyance. “It’s just one assignment and you don’t really have a reason.” She tried to say.

“Why would I need a reason? Mrs. Warren said we can choose our own groups, and I don’t want to be in this one. I don’t vibe with it.”

Despite being annoyed himself, Peter decided to just sit back and watch everything unfold. He didn’t need to attract attention to himself. With his big glasses and frail figure, he looked very nerdy and jocks like Flash liked to pick on nerds. He didn’t need that.

The banter between Sally and Flash went on for a while. Peter was sure everyone in the class was pissed but no one said anything, probably because they didn’t know each other and didn’t want to say something wrong accidentally. It was getting very annoying, though. And to make it worse, Mrs. Warren didn’t seem to care.

While listening to Flash, he didn’t notice the girl sitting in front of him glaring heatedly at Flash with clenched fists and gritted teeth.

“I’m just saying, why can’t I-”

SMACK!

Flash’s words were interrupted by a sudden loud smacking noise, causing nearly everyone to flinch.

The girl in front of Peter had smacked her palm on her desk and stood up, pointedly glaring at Flash with a glare so intense it could probably burn him, clearly seething with anger.

“STOP MAKING EVERYTHING DIFFICULT, FOR GOD’S SAKE!” She yelled.

Peter blinked.

Did the quiet reserved girl just… yell?

“What do you think you’re doing, huh?!” She yelled again, this time coming closer to Flash. Flash gulped and took a step back. “You don’t even know anyone in this class! It’s only our FIRST WEEK!”

“But I-”

“ZIP IT!”

Flash shut his mouth so fast Peter could hear his teeth clacking.

“Our teacher is waiting for us right now! If you have any complaints about your group then speak up properly once you KNOW them! SO JUST GO WITH IT FOR NOW AND GET THIS DONE AND OVER WITH!”

The class was silent. She was still glaring at Flash and Flash was cowering in fear.

To be honest, Peter was afraid of her too, but deep inside he was impressed. When no one else spoke up, she did. Maybe with a bit of an overkill, but she still spoke for the rest of them. He’d take that.

“Any more complaints?” She asked through gritted teeth.

Flash quickly shook his head.

“Good.”

She sat back down and looked away as if nothing happened.

No one said anything for a while, still in a bit of a shock.

“Um, well…” Sally cleared her throat, “So are we decided then? With this arrangement?”

A chorus of yes later and Mrs. Warren finally spoke, “Give me your group lists later after class. I trust you can arrange it, Ms. Avril?”

Sally nodded, “Yes, ma’am.”

“Okay, let’s start our lesson for today.”

As Mrs. Warren started teaching, Peter couldn’t help but stare at the girl in front of him. This was the first time he actually looked at her.

The first thing he noticed, although it may sounded rude, was her… size, so to speak. She was considerably bigger than the rest of the girls in his class. She was clad in plain unisex clothes. From what he had seen earlier, he could find no trace of makeup on her either. She actually looked a little messy, not fitting into that traditional feminine look.

Not that Peter had anything against femininity or even not conforming to said femininity. He was raised by a respectful pair of husband and wife who drilled respect for diversity and people’s choices into him. Aunt May would also have his head if he had even the slightest misogynistic thought. No, he knew better than that.

Around ¾ into the lesson, Mrs. Warren told them to go into their groups and start discussing their projects.

“Let’s start with introduction, I guess?” Sally said once all four of them were together. “I’m Sally Avril, but just call me Sally.”

“I know, I was in your History class.” The girl from before said. Her voice was actually quite soft when she wasn’t yelling. Peter was once again surprised by her.

Sally giggled at her, prompting her to let out a small smile. “I’m (y/n) (l/n). Feel free to call me (y/n).” She said quietly.

“I also know that already. You sat two desks from me, didn’t you?” Sally asked with a smile.

(Y/n) nodded. “Also I apologize for earlier… I just couldn’t stand him.” (Y/n) muttered with narrowed eyes.

“We don’t blame you, honestly,” the other guy in the group said. “Flash was being a dick. I’m actually glad you spoke up against him,” he snickered. “I’m Tyler Corbyn, by the way. People usually just call me Ty.”

“It’s just that no one said anything, so I thought I had to put a stop on it. He was disrespecting our teacher by misusing the time she gave us like that.” (Y/n) scoffed.

“And you?” Sally turned to Peter.

“Oh, um… Peter. Peter Parker.” He mumbled.

“Okay, now that we’re introduced, let’s talk about the assignment, shall we?”

After the discussion, the group agreed to meet up after school on Monday to start their project.

Sometimes Peter would let himself glanced at (y/n). He had to admit, even if he was still a bit scared of her, she didn’t seem that bad. He just needed to not press her buttons or risk her blowing up. She still had a short temper, after all.

He was certain that the rest of his classmates realized this too. They were all afraid of her, for sure.

It was kind of a bummer, but her display of anger that day would follow her for nearly her entire high school days. All the boys in their class feared her, especially Flash, and tried to avoid her. The girls would eventually befriend her once they know more about her.

And Peter? Well… He may thought she was scary for now, but there was respect within him. His Physics class seemed quite interesting now.

——————————

Notes: yes, I did yell in class when the professor was present and yes, she didn’t give a shit about it.

Taglist + Mutuals (let me know if you want me to untag you!)

@marvelexi @lou-la-lou @spiderbibby @hello–zuko-here @everydaymj @galaxystern08​ @allegra-soleil​ @fancyxparker​ @delicatepeterparker @parkerpeter24​ @terrifictomholland​ @quackeroos​ @angel-spidey​ @greenorangevioletgrass​  @awkward-darkness​ @chloecreatesfictions-archive​ @tonguetiedholland​ @peterspideysstuff​ @and-it-burns-like-a-fire​ @geminiparkers @weirdowithnobeardo @perspectiveparker

[lifeistooshorttowasteyourtime]

Different worlds, same heart - Chapter 6

Chapter summary: The charms course has come to an end and it’s time to say goodbye although (Y/N) is not ready yet, Tina and the Scamander brothers too close to her heart. In a most personal farewell, she finds herself wanting to delay her return to Hogwarts while Theseus holds her in his warm embrace, admitting he’s also going to miss her.

PART 1 – PART 2 – PART 3 – PART 4 – PART 5

***

“Don’t hold back” (Y/N) smiled at her opponent.

Theseus smiled back and the both of them started to throw spells at each other, some verbal, some not, putting in practice what (Y/N) had taught the Aurors in those last weeks. The rest of the group observed them fighting, not knowing which one could win.

After good ten minutes, Theseus threw a non-verbal spell which made her fly back and, before colliding with the floor, Newt caught her. She smiled up at him and then at his older sibling who was panting a bit tired. The rest of Aurors started to clap, which (Y/N) joined smiling brightly.

“Well, I think I can’t teach you anything else. If you need any more help with the spells, your leader is fit enough to help you out” they all laughed and Theseus bowed jokingly “it’s been a pleasure working with you all, really, and I can’t thank you enough how comfortable and welcome you’ve made me feel in the last weeks. I’m going back to Hogwarts, but if you need anything, I’m a jump away. Thank you so much to you all and good luck”.

The room erupted in claps, all of them approached (Y/N) to say goodbye in a more personal note, making her tear up a bit because of the warm farewell from the Aurors. The Scamander brothers and Tina waited till the end, not really knowing how to say goodbye.

“Oh no, I’m not ready to say goodbye to you three just yet” she said looking briefly a Theseus “I would like you to come to have dinner at my home, if you want of course. Don’t want to impose at all”.

Tina smiled brightly “it will be a pleasure!”.

(Y/N) smiled back and looked at the brothers who nodded “count on us” said Theseus.

The woman blushed with a small laugh and the four of them talked about the details for that night meeting.

“See you tonight” said the older Scamander once they were going to part ways at the door of her house.

“I’m looking forward to it” she smiled happily before turning to step into the building.

Theseus chuckled watching her disappear and kept a small smile while going back to his own house. There, he couldn’t help but think about the times she had been there, at the beginning because of her nightmares but then because they just enjoyed each other company. Those walls had known her tears, her laughs, her confidences and vulnerability. And he turned sad. He wasn’t ready to say goodbye either.

That night, Theseus picked up Newt and Tina before leading them to (Y/N)’s house who welcomed them warmly.

“It smells amazing, (Y/N)” Tina said when they stepped into the living room.

“Oh, thank you, dear. I’m not the best when it comes about cooking but I’ve learnt a thing or two back in Hogwarts, some elves are quite chatty. Please, get yourself comfortable!”.

“I have to go down the suitcase to feed some creatures” Newt mumbled shyly.

“May I go with you?” (Y/N) asked with big eyes.

The magizoologist was surprised but nodded with a smile.

They all ended up going down the staircase, Theseus wasn’t much a fan but enjoyed seeing his brother discussing with (Y/N) about some of the creatures and how Newt gravitated towards Tina who couldn’t stop smiling in Newt’s presence. Theseus chuckled watching how his little brother fell in love even more with the brave Auror. Meanwhile, he couldn’t help but admire how (Y/N) was fascinated with every creature, a special spark in her eyes and a permanent face of amazement.

Once they were all having dinner at (Y/N)’s dinning room, they all talked about their future plans, without mentioning the possibility of a futile future if Grindelwald won.

“I know I’m going to get old in Hogwarts” the professor said “I can’t imagine myself doing another thing”.

“As I do with creatures” Newt added with a small smile.

“You would be a good teacher of Care of Magic Creatures”.

“I-I don’t see myself being-being a teacher”.

“I said you would be, not you should be” she smiled at him “you are a free spirit after all. But I’m going to pester the director to make your book the basic one for that subject”.

Newt blushed but smiled at her with thankfulness.

Tina had to go back home before midnight so both women embraced each tightly, promising to write each other and visit as soon as they could. Newt, as the gentleman he was, offered himself to go with Tina. (Y/N) and the magizoologist shared a short hug as an expression of the affection they had harbour for each other in the last weeks, promising to keep in contact. Besides, Newt knew his brother wanted to have his own goodbye.

Theseus helped (Y/N) to clean up after the dinner in the muggle way, wanting to stretch the time they still had.

“If you… If I asked you again to join the Aurors, would you?” Theseus asked when they both were drinking a cup of tea while chatting in the living room, she titled her head smiling and he coughed “Miss (Y/S), would you kindly reconsider to occupy a position between our lines in the Auror department? It would be a pleasure to work along side such a brilliant mind”.

(Y/N) laughed letting her head fall backwards a bit, remembering all the times Theseus had asked the same in the past and making him smile brightly “you know my answer but… You’ve made me doubt for a moment. Made me see myself working with you”.

Theseus shook his head “if I have made that, I’m terribly proud of it”.

She smiled and nodded “you should, yeah. But you make it easy. I mean, I…” she blushed looking down, her shy side coming out again. He sighed and put his hand over hers calling her attention “I’m going to miss you”.

(Y/N) pressed her lips into a thin line and wrapped her arms around his torso, pressing her face against his shoulder. Theseus hugged her back immediately and kissed her hair, not an unknown act from him. She sighed and flexed her fingers against his back before pulling away slightly to look at his eyes “I’m going to miss you too”.

Both of them smiled but decided it was time to part ways and they went to the main door. She smiled sadly at him and crossed her arms over her chest, feeling lonely suddenly “promise to write. I think I’m going to go mad worrying about your role as leader of the Aurors”.

“Don’t worry too much, concentrate in teaching the future generations”.

“Don’t ask me not to worry about you, I hold you dear, you know?”.

Theseus smiled and she uncrossed her arms shaking her head while her cheeks turned red. He observed her and decided to take both her hands between his, making her look up at him shyly.

“I promise to inform you of my wellbeing, I hope to hear about how much the kids learn with you”.

(Y/N) laughed and squeezed his hands a bit. He smiled and kissed her forehead softly before pulling away completely, their hands losing their hold slowly.

“See you soon, (Y/N)” he smiled.

“See you soon, Theseus”.

He disappeared in the night while she sighed closing her door. She put her hand over her chest and closed her eyes hoping it would slow down.

The return to Hogwarts was marvellous, she had truly missed the school and the children so going back to the routine wasn’t that difficult. But to be totally truthful, she sometimes missed teaching the Aurors. Actually, she missed her time with her friends. And the one that was more even though her head told her not to admit what her heart desired.

Three weeks later, in which she exchanged letters with Tina, Newt and Theseus, she was in her class with Hufflepuffs and Slytherins when a silver figure flew by the window. One of the students opened it and the figure went to (Y/N) but, before it could say anything, it disappeared.

“Professor, what was that?” a boy asked with curiosity.

“That was a Patronus, McArdle. You will learn it in Defence against Dark Arts” she coughed before looking at the children of first year “I’m afraid the class has to end now. Go back to your common rooms, please. Not homework for tomorrow”.

(Y/N) alerted Dumbledore and the director with her own patronus before going outside of Hogwarts and apparated to the ministry, her heart telling her she would find Theseus there waiting for her.

[twstarchives]

Azul Ashengrotto・Voice Lines

Additional Voice Lines

Beans Camo event card

Scary Dress event card

School Uniform - R

Unlock Card “I will support you to the best of my ability, so that you may enjoy your school life here!”

Groovy “Board games are good brain exercises. Would you like to play one?”

Home Setting “Let’s make today count.”

Home Transitions “The students of this school are truly diverse in terms of personality. I’d like to have a great circle of connections.”

“Falling asleep during class is nothing for you to worry about. I will help you before your test. For a price, of course.”

“Now, for today’s board game club activities... What? Did you think ‘Boring!’ to yourself just now?”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “Were you looking for me? If you’d like to discuss your troubles, I can always make arrangements for that.”

Home Taps “I pride myself on the trust my professors have in me. Above all else, I am very dedicated.”

“School friends are really just like schools of small fish. Come graduation, they all go their separate ways.”

“I heard you singing in music class just now... Heheh. No, I’m sorry; you do sound very nice.”

“I wish they’d label how many calories are in each dish in the cafeteria. It makes keeping count so difficult.”

“Is there something strange about me? I thought I studied the fashion norms on land well enough.”

PE Uniform - R

Unlock Card “I don’t necessarily hate Flying class. My broom just doesn't always cooperate with me.”

Groovy “Let’s try to work our hardest.”

Home Setting “I’m not that fond of exercising on land.”

Home Transitions “I’m not ashamed of the fact that I’m not good at sports. You have your struggles too, don’t you?”

“You only have two legs and yet you can walk that fast...? You really are good at this.”

“There’s no harm in looking like you’re trying hard. It gives off the impression that you’re committed and worthy of respect.”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “Flying class is almost starting. You always look like you’re having so much fun.”

Home Taps “Coach Vargas was just appalled by me again. If only I were in the water, I could... no, that would still be a problem.”

“I do a light muscle workout everyday. I also make sure to eat in moderation. It’s important to take care of your body.”

“It sounds so obvious, but floating in the water and floating in the sky really are nothing alike.”

“Sports on land make you sweat, and it’s so uncomfortable. ...Right now I’d like nothing more than to plunge into the ocean.”

“Are you trying to mock me? I’ll accept your offer as-is, but expect to have it returned it to you two-fold.”

Lab Coat - SR

Unlock Card “Please leave everything to me. Brewing potions is something I’m very confident in.”

Groovy “I’ll give you some tips for your experiments. Of course, the price would be... Heheh.”

Home Setting “I enjoy classes where the results are very clear.”

Home Transitions “I like experiments. As long as you just follow the instructions, you won’t run into any surprises.”

“There’s a full selection of rare ingredients to choose from here. What a wonderful school this is!”

“Ahh... If only you had my notes, you’d be able to finish all of those assignments in the blink of an eye... Are you interested?”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “Please leave the alchemy to me. Churning out riches is one of my specialties. Of course I’m talking about the experiment.”

Home Transition (Groovy) “Even the smallest speck of dust bothers me. ...Why are you looking at me like that? Please, enough with your games.”

Home Taps “Feel free to come speak with me if you ever find yourself unable to find the lab materials you need. I have my ways.”

“Your stomach hurts? I’ll steep some herbs. There’s a brew I’ve been wanting to try out.”

“I’m very particular about my writing tools... It needs to feel a certain way when I sign my papers.”

“Grim is a strange creature. ...Why don’t we try teaching him some tricks? Oh, for no particular reason.”

“You don’t need to keep coming in here; I can see just fine. These goggles have prescription lenses.”

Home Tap (Groovy) “Turning one madol into a hundred is just another component of alchemy. Would you like to try?”

Ceremony Robes - SR

Unlock Card “‘Azul can make any of your wishes come true.’ ...Would you like to see whether or not these rumors are true?”

Groovy “Presentation is important for negotiations to proceed smoothly.”

Home Setting “Do you wish to hear my advice as well?”

Home Transitions “Only the wise should be the ones leading the herd. Don’t you agree?”

“I’ve come up with a plan for an event involving the Ramshackle Dorm; please take a look at it...”

“In a few moments I’ll be starting my lecture on ‘Efficient Study Methods.’ I’m grateful to say we have a full house yet again.”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “The teachers hold Octavinelle students in high regard for being so well-mannered. I’m proud that our students are so exceptional.”

Home Transition (Groovy) “It’s nice to take time off like this every once in a while. ...Truthfully, I’m not at my best when there’s so much activity around me.”

Home Taps “These ceremony robes are much better than any business card. You get all kinds of wishful eyes on you just by wearing these outside the school.”

“I’m having others take care of setting up for the ceremony. My job is acting as the brains.”

“Maybe I should tighten my belt a little... I prefer having a tight figure.”

“Dark, confined spaces put me at ease. I like clothes that come with hoods.”

“You’re so loud. No one likes a lot of blabber.”

Home Tap (Groovy) “Instead of an amulet, it’s better to keep your favorite coin in your pocket.”

Dorm Uniform - SSR

Unlock Card “How lucky you are to have been able to meet someone as kind as me!”

“Balancing this student life with running the Mostro Lounge is something I’m enjoying very much.”

Groovy “Welcome to Octavinelle! We’re always happy to have those like you here.”

Home Setting “If you ever need a consultant, I’d be happy to speak with you anytime.”

Home Transitions “My students become very reasonable with me the moment I put on our dorm uniform.”

“I always put on my right shoe before the left on the mornings of a battle. You could say it’s superstition... Yes, exactly that.”

“I picked out all of the furniture used in the Mostro Lounge. Isn’t the atmosphere just wonderful?”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “Helping others is what I live for. As dorm leader, I’ll support every one of you as best as I can.”

Home Transition (Groovy) “Should you have a wish you’d like me to grant, you’re welcome at the Mostro Lounge’s VIP Room anytime. What do you say about coming over now?”

Home Taps “Jade is a very capable assistant. I wouldn’t have chosen him as the vice dorm leader if he wasn’t.”

“They say the Sea Witch had infused a spiral shell with her own magic. Maybe I should modify the pin on my hat that way as well.”

“Floyd’s mood swings are unbearable to deal with, but I have faith in his power when the time calls for it.”

“You smell something nice? Oh, that must be my cologne. It’s one of the small pleasures I have while being on land.”

“Oh, please don’t interrupt me right now. I’m busy totaling the sales for today.”

Home Tap (Groovy) “Why don’t you work a shift at the Mostro Lounge sometime? The staff meals Jade and Floyd make are simply the best.”

Duo Magic Azul: “Riddle, let’s run this exactly by our plan.” Riddle: “Azul, I’ll put my trust in you this time.”

Birthday Celebration Outfit - SSR

This card was only obtainable during Azul’s birthday event (Feb 22 - Feb 28, 2020).

Login on Birthday “I’m honored to hear that you’ve remembered my birthday. However, unfortunately I don’t accept one-way gifts... But if you insist, please come order today’s exclusive special meal at the Mostro Lounge; I will be joining you.”

Unlock Card “Those who owe me debts are welcome to come today. Let’s all enjoy the party together.”

“I would like to express my utmost gratitude to everyone who congratulated me. That is the courteous thing to do. Isn’t that right?”

Groovy “Thank you for your birthday wishes. I will make sure to show my gratitude appropriately, so please stay tuned.”

Home Setting “There is such odd—er, interesting clothing on land.”

Home Transitions “The staff at my family’s ristorante sent a group photo of them along with their gifts. I’m glad everyone is doing well.”

“A gift doesn’t have to be an object. Letting me listen to your worries is enough. Come, don’t be shy!”

“Heheh. For my birthday, I decided that I will eat as I please without worrying about the calories.”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “I’m glad my birthday is here. In the business world, you’re looked down on just for being young.”

Home Transition (Groovy) “The Mostro Lounge offers a coral-themed birthday cake. You absolutely must order it for your birthday!”

Home Taps “Idia gave me a board game I’ve been interested in recently. I cannot wait to beat him when we play.”

“Every year on my birthday, Jade and Floyd pull a prank on me. Honestly, what will I do with those two...?”

“When I invited Jamil to my party, he grew suspicious and asked ‘What’s the catch?’ ...And here I only want to get along.”

“Coach Vargas saw me in this outfit and said ‘Let me give you a special flying lesson for your birthday!’ I had so much difficulty running from him.”

“You brought me food again? ...Is that your way of saying I look like I eat a lot?”

Home Tap (Groovy) “I’m always looking for business opportunities at parties, but for today alone, I think I will just enjoy myself as the star.”

Duo Magic Azul: “It’s an honor to receive a birthday wish from you, Malleus.” Malleus: “My best wishes, Ashengrotto.”

Tutorial “Lurking over there is quite rude. Come, I'll show you around.” 

Lv Up “This is just... spectacular!”

“What do you think about my brilliant progress?”

“I’m not done yet... Heheheh!”

Max Lv Up “Ahh... I can feel the power rising in me... I’d like to keep doing business with you from now on.”

Episode Lv Up “A kind soul like you might be an easy target at this academy, don’t you think? If you ever end up in a bad position, do pay me a visit. You won’t regret it.”

Magic Lv Up “My magic power has grown so advanced; I’d like to put it to good use. I would never want to let talent go to waste.”

Limit Break “More... I want more power. Do I look like the kind of man who would be satisfied with this?”

Groovy “I’m feeling good today. I think now would be your chance if you have anything you want from me.”

Lesson Select “Are you tired of your classes? I recommend thinking of it as a game of scoring points from your teachers.”

“I’m fully prepared for any class. Pick whichever one you like.”

“Depending on the price you pay... I could help you study for today’s quiz.”

Lesson Start “Let’s do our best.”

Lesson End “Were you able to see how brilliant I am?”

Battle Start “You poor, unfortunate souls!”

Battle End “Well, you certainly tried your hardest.”

Other

Profile Quote “I’d be more than happy to help you. Now, just sign this contract.”

January 2020 Trailer “If you want to cross the bridge, you’ve got to pay the toll. That’s only natural, isn’t it?”

Countdown Poster “Helping unfortunate folk like yourself—that’s what I live for.”

Login Bonus Greeting “You are surprisingly quite diligent. I, too, enjoy working so steadily.”

Player Birthday Wish “Happy birthday! Today is a special case, in that I will grant you one single wish. ...Of course this isn’t a business deal. I’m only investing in your future self.”

Easter Eggs from The Little Mermaid:

The men up there don’t like a lot of blabber

Poor Unfortunate Souls

Helping unfortunate merfolk like yourself; that’s what I live for

If you want to cross the bridge, my sweet, you’ve got to pay the toll

[be11atrixthestrange]

Hanky Panky

Another perspective of Just Pretending

@avatarvader; Could you do one where McGonagall actually walked in on them when Hermione did the McGonagall impression of her, but decides to watch for more?

-------------------------

Professor McGonagall typically made a final round once the prefects were done, just to make sure they didn’t miss anything. Sometimes she found a Ravenclaw studying in an empty classroom, a pair of Hufflepuffs smuggling biscuits from the kitchen, or a young inter-house couple hiding in the shadows of the hallways, attempting to avoid the patrolling prefects so they could enjoy some after-hours cavorting. When McGonagall would stumble upon them, she could simply clear her throat and send them a stern look, and their special moment would end abruptly, or at least be delayed until the next night.

Occasionally she came across one of her very own prefects causing mischief after hours. As disappointing as this could be, she had once been a teenager herself, so she would turn a blind eye for the first offense, offer a stiff talking-to on the second, and very rarely was there a third.

When she heard voices coming from an empty classroom on the third floor, she decided to investigate. They weren’t exactly quiet, and as she got closer, their cackling laughter echoed down the hallway. It appeared that the culprits didn't even care that it was after hours. McGonagall briefly wondered why the prefects hadn’t caught them, before she realized who was on prefect duty that night- Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley. She smiled. Of course they were distracted.

As she approached the source, the voices became even louder and clearer. She would recognize those voices anywhere. Maybe it had been a mistake to pair Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley together for prefect rounds. She had a fondness for both of them, and they really did work well together, but they could distract each other far too easily.

Before she entered the classroom, something made her pause. She peered in through the crack of the doorway to see Hermione standing at the front of the classroom, while Ron shook with laughter at a nearby desk.

“Mr. Weasley, may I suggest you listen to your friend Hermione Granger, when it comes to homework questions? Her expertise may be of service to you.”

She said it confidently and sternly, a manner very familiar to McGonagall. It almost sounded like Hermione was doing an impression of her. She waited, curious to hear more.

‘OK, sure,” said Ron, as he leaned back. He stacked his feet on the desk in front of him. “I could see her saying that. Maybe not as arrogantly, though,” he added, making Hermione laugh.

Professor McGonagall smiled at Ron’s addition, thankful that he didn’t mistake her commanding demeanor for arrogance.. If Miss Granger truly cared about an accurate impression, she would have told Mr. Weasley to take his feet off of the desk.

She was about to press her way into the room, but when the pair switched places and Ron started pulling his hair over his face, she hesitated. She wanted to see this...

“Granger, I see you’ve managed to memorize the entire textbook,” he snarled in a monotone. “Next time, get a life, and stop being such an insufferable know-it-all.”

McGonagall smiled. It was a pretty accurate impression of Severus, and it reminded her that they were overdue for another discussion about calling students names.

McGonagall shuddered at Hermione’s deeply concerning impression of Dolores.

“Ronald Weasley, we don’t tell lies in this classroom. Maybe an evening with me in my office would serve as a good reminder,” she said brightly. “You, me, veritaserum and my blood quill will be…,” McGonagall raised an eyebrow as Hermione shoved her wand under Ron’s chin, “best friends.”

Dolores is not fit to be teaching here, she thought. And what does she mean by blood quill? McGonagall made a mental note to investigate further.

She decided to officially break up the fun when they attempted a rather awkward impression of Harry Potter and Cho Chang. She opened the door when Ron stood behind Hermione, wrapping his arms around her while his face turned beet red. She’d been a teenager before, after all, and she knew where this could lead.

She pushed through the door, and the pair jolted apart. “Granger, Weasley, what are you two doing in the corridors?”

“Er, we were just--,’ stammered Ron.

“Finishing prefect rounds!” interrupted Hermione. “We were on duty tonight.”

Oh, I know, thought McGonagall. How cute that they lost track of time.  “Granger, rounds were supposed to end an hour ago,” she said sternly. “Both of you should be back in your common room by now.”

They exchanged a surprised glance, clearly taken aback by the time.

“Sorry, Professor!” said Hermione, as she started to shuffle toward the door. “Ron, we should go.”

“Yeah, sorry Professor,”

She smiled as they shuffled away. They could use some fun, so he was happy they found opportunity during rounds. However, she still needed to keep an eye on them. While she could tolerate some occasional, innocent fun on prefect rounds, she wouldn’t stand for any hanky panky.

[robert-de-niro-only-fans]

Back to School

Literature Professor! Robert De Niro x Reader

Based on a weird dream I had! But I've developed it into a whole thing 😘

Word count: 2k

TW: none, it's all fluff--part 2, not so much

As you walk through the literature building on campus looking for your classroom, you check your schedule one last time to make sure you end up at the right classroom.

As you're looking at the schedule you can't help but feel like you're taking a chance with this course, because the professor is listed as TBD: To Be Determined. At the time of scheduling your classes, it's normal for the professor slot to say TBD, but normally, as summer was coming to an end, you knew who all of your professors would be.

At the end of the day, the class was only an elective, and you could drop it and work out the problems later if it was that bad.

Before you know it, your feet have carried you to your classroom and you pop your head in the door to peak at what's going on inside. There are a few students, most of them sitting in the front desks, probably hoping to do well in the class by sitting up front.

You walk in and take a seat by the professors desk--taking another chance,-- but you like to try to get to know your professors, especially in a small class like this. A few more people come in and find their seats, but there's still several minutes before class starts.

Just as you were pulling books out of your bag for class, Robert De Niro walks in and asks, "Is this is the Film Lit class?" All of your books hit the floor.

One of your classmates spoke up, "Yeah, this is your class. Nice to meet ya, Professor De Niro!"

"Nice to meet you, too," he says, shaking the kid's hand.

You tap the girl in front of you on the shoulder and ask, "That's the professor?!" She laughs a little and says, "Yeah, you didn't get the message? They're letting him teach a class on the books he's studied for roles."

You felt like you were in a dream. Everyone was so casual with this, but then again, they had all gotten some kind of notification about it.

Trying to pull it together, you reach down and scramble to pick all of your books up and set them on your desk. Suddenly, you hear your professor's voice coming from beside you, "Do you need any help with that?"

You look over to see him standing at his desk, giving you a concerned look.

His desk; the one you chose to sit near.

You now have a panicky feeling of regret about the seat you chose.

"Um, no, I can get it," you shoot back to him quickly before grabbing the last books from the floor.

You could feel his eyes on you though, and you tried to pretend you didn't and focus on writing something in your notebook, but it wasn't long before you gave in and looked at him. He was sat back in his chair, just watching you for the small moment it took to get your books. He gave you a charming smile.

"Do you need something, professor?" It came out of your mouth without thinking.

"Hmm, just your name," he replied smugly. Was he flirting with you?

"(Y/N)."

"Well, (Y/N), it's nice to meet you," he stands and reaches across his desk to shake your hand, "you can call me Robert."

Before you could get your thoughts straight, he had walked up to the front of the classroom and begun class.

He started class with the simple exercise of each person telling the class their name, which book was their favorite from the summer reading, and to read their favorite passage. This took up a majority of class, because he would ask each person questions and discuss the passage with them.

He wrapped class up early by telling everyone that the first week's homework was to finish the summer reading if they hadn't, and handing out the syllabus, which was small and very simple. You take note that his office hours work pretty well with your schedule.

The class was only about 15 people, but nearly everyone wanted to talk to the professor after class; he's Robert De Niro after all. You stayed in your desk to pull out your schedule and make sure about when your next class was; you have a big break before that class.

By the time you've shoved your books in your book bag, your professor has somehow gotten out of talking to ask the other students and he makes his way over to his desk. He looks at you with a big smile and says, "Aw, were you waiting to see me?"

The last few students leave. It's just you and him.

"Oh, uh, no, I was just looking at some papers. I'm sorry." You stand up and put your back pack on.

"Oh, well, that's sad because I was hoping to see you," he starts. When he sees you're not going to respond, he continues, "It seems like you're kind of shy, and you didn't want to interact as much as the other students. Class will be highly discussion based, so I want to make sure that you'll be okay with that structure. I'd really rather not grade papers, ya know?" he ends with a small chuckle.

"I'll be okay with class discussions. Truthfully, I was just a little caught off guard because I didn't know you were the professor."

"Oh no! You didn't get the memo that went out?! That won't do. Would you mind coming to my office to make sure I have all of your contact info correct?"

"Um, sure. I have time." Truthfully, you're still kind of reeling just from his presence, and now he wants you to go to his office.

"Come on!" he says, while coming around his desk, "Oh, and give me your back pack, it looks heavy."

"Oh no, it's okay."

"I insist. It's a long walk to my office, and I would be no gentleman if I let you carry that heavy bag all the way there."

He certainly didn't act like a professor. Especially not towards you, but maybe your mind was playing tricks on you there.

You hand over your back pack, and he puts it on, then gestures for you to leave the classroom before him. On the walk to his office, you insist on carrying his notebook, since he has your back pack. He was glad to see you open up to him a bit, and since he no longer has his notebook, this meant he was able to place his hand on your back... to make sure you walk the right way, no other reason, right? Why would he have another reason to do that?

You make light conversation all the way to his office, discussing your major and why he decided to teach a class here at the college. The walk to his office was over in no time, but maybe that was due to the good conversation. You enter the small office and see that there isn't much inside, but then again, he's only teaching for one semester. He has an L-shaped desk, a table, a couple of filing cabinets, a mini fridge, and a small couch for office guests.

He nods to the couch for you to sit, and he places your back pack by your feet. You place his notebook on his desk next to you. He opens a drawer on the filing cabinet; it's very empty except for a few manila folders. "(Y/N)! There you are!" he exclaims while whipping your file out, "There's not much in these files yet, but they'll be filled with your papers and grades by the end of the term." He gives you a warm smile before opening the file on his desk.

You go over your contact information with him; turns out he had it all wrong somehow, so he corrects the file and returns it to his cabinet.

"Well, I've run out of excuses to keep you in my company, but you're welcome to stay and hangout here if you'd like," he says as he takes one of your hands in his.

"Well, I have another class in about an hour, and I really should eat lunch, so unfortunately, I think I've got to go."

He jumps up and opens his mini fridge, "I brought PB and J's! And I have other little snacks if you want some, like fruit cups or... whatever..." He trails off and smiles awkwardly, realizing he may have gotten a little too excited.

You giggle at him, "Seems like you really want me to stick around... I'll stay as long as you don't mind sharing." You're doing your best to keep your cool, and it helps that Robert isn't keeping his very well, but you are a little nervous, nonetheless.

Without hesitation, he hands you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. "Do you want a fruit cup or pudding? Or both? I also have chips." His need to impress you elicits another giggle from you, and you ask for chips.

After getting his own sandwich and pulling out the chips, you enjoy lunch together. Him at his desk and you on the little couch.

This becomes your regular Tuesday/Thursday thing. After Robert's class, you go to his office for lunch; sometimes you bring food to share with him, too. Sometimes people stop in, students and other professors, because they all want to meet Robert De Niro. He's very good about meeting people and then getting them to leave without being rude.

Sometimes on Thursday's you pop back by his office after your other Tuesday/Thursday class, and technically his office hours have ended, but he has no problem with you being there. Typically you just see each other for a few minutes while he's packing up to leave campus, but one Thursday, you both sat on the little couch and talked for a while.

"Do you think I'm doing okay with this class? I mean I don't want it to be too easy, but I don't want to make it hard. It's an elective for most of you." He really did care about what he was teaching you from those biographies of boxers and mobsters.

"I think your discussions challenge us more than you think. I've never seen a class of students show up so prepared for every single lecture. Then again, I think we all know we'll never get a chance to take a class like this again."

"Yeah I know I don't have the normal professor experience, because I don't have any degrees and you guys all know who I am."

"You also get to pick favorites and don't get in trouble for it, because of who you are," you say giving him a side eye.

"Hey! Just because you're my favorite doesn't mean you get good grades..." He leans in a bit closer to you.

"Hmmm, so I am your favorite?"

"Of course, you are. You eat lunch with me in my office."

"Any other perks of being Mr. De Niro's favorite student?"

"Mmm, Mr. De Niro, huh? I thought I told you to call me Robert, young lady," he places a hand on your cheek with his thumb on your chin.

You give him a cheeky smile. "I'll call you Robert after you answer my question."

"Hmmm... Any other perks to being my favorite student? Besides hanging out with me and eating lunch with me..." His other arm snakes around your shoulders. "What about this?"

Before you can say anything, he pulls you close to him and lightly presses his lips to yours. You both stay like that for a long second before moving your lips together, kissing lightly over and over again.

[svynakee]

Mulan (2020)’s idiotic cultural appropriation of chi is really stupid

Qi is a real thing. Not in the way that oxygen, or electromagnetic waves, are real. You cannot find an atom of qi. You cannot measure qi with a device. Qi is real the way romance, or luck, are real. And in the same way that the romance most people experience isn’t the same romance that is depicted in movies of passionate, melodramatic, wild love, the qi in wuxia and other genres is not the qi experienced in real life.

Now, when it comes to romance movies, the concept of love at first sight does not need to be established. It is accepted that there can exist, in the setting of the story, an unseen powerful force that drives strangers together on the whims of fate. There doesn’t need to be a professor pointing at a blackboard explaining the mechanics of destiny, and the evolution of true love, for an audience to willingly accept that love at first sight can be real for the sake of the story. In this way, it is unnecessary for there to be a martial arts master in every story that uses qi to explain what qi is, why it exists and how humans have learned to harness it.

However, the individual story’s take on qi should be established. If there are organised, respected, powerful sects teaching students to use qi, then assumptions can be made about how society views qi, how developed the study of qi is, the place of qi users in this world. If qi users are almost mythical and tend to hide in seclusion, assumptions can be made. If the emperor’s strongest generals proudly use qi in battle, assumptions can be made. If a teacher cautions against improper usage of qi because it can result in both physical and mental harm to the practitioner, assumptions can be made. And even if nobody bats an eye at the fact that the duke’s eldest son and the third imperial prince are doing flying leaps across rooftops on market day, then assumptions can be made about qi, such as ‘using qi is so common that the price of cabbage is more interesting than watching someone doing magic parkour’.

Simply saying ‘qi exists and is for warriors’ does a poor job of worldbuilding. Worldbuilding is important because it sets the stage, gives context to the stakes, lends weight to the protagonist’s struggles. What does Mulan (2020) tell us about…’chi’? One important thing to note is that in Disney’s Mulan (2020), chi is referred to as a skill; ‘he has strong chi’, ‘he has a talent for soccer’. In Chinese works, qi is the energy, the skill is qigong, which is qi (air) + gong (effort). A martial artist therefore has strong qi, or skill in qigong. They are not skilled in qi. In the following points, I will be discussing Disney’s idea of chi, so I will use their terminology.

Only men can use chi, but chi is also available to women.

Not being true to yourself poisons your chi.

Chi is for warriors, implying that women cannot be warriors (this is actually uncommon in Chinese wuxia stories, more common in historical ones where QIGONG AND WITCHES DO NOT EXIST).

The existence of a woman with chi powers is unusual and a cause for alarm, but not unusual enough that the Emperor dismisses the idea after hearing ONE REPORT FROM A RANDOM SOLDIER.

Those in the Imperial army are trained, briefly, to use chi – this is shaky because I think the commander talks about how chi can be used, and Honghui’s compliment to Mulan implies that her usage of chi is what makes them equals, meaning Honghui can also use it.

People recognise that chi allows humans to do super gymnastics and have enhanced reflexes, enough that when the villagers see a young Mulan doing these things, they are freaked out. Or the ancient Chinese really hated backflips.

Despite women using chi being so taboo, Mulan’s father decided to teach his daughter chi just because she was born with a high midichlorian count- I mean, high chi. When she displays chi abilities in front of other villagers, her mother gets angry and tells him to stop teaching her. Yet Mulan still retains her chi proficiency into adulthood, meaning either her father continued to teach her, or chi mastery lasts for a lifetime. In that way, using chi is a bit like riding a bicycle.

Rourans can use chi to run up walls, but Mulan’s friends are only shown to do this very briefly near the end of the movie, with normal Imperial soldiers failing to use this ability.

The Emperor of China is a proficient chi user. His chi lets him use drapery as weapons (actually a common technique in wuxia, the idea being that qi is personal energy and a skilled practitioner can channel their energy into any object, giving them sharp edges or huge kinetic force).

When a woman can use chi, she is a witch. And this is where this becomes HILARIOUS. Because there IS a witch in Mulan (2020).

Xian Lang is a witch.

In her introductory scene, Xian Lang is shown POSSESSING A MAN, her physical form completely disappearing as she does this. She then nails two long range kills using throwing stars and engages in melee combat, easily defeating Imperial guards despite being outnumbered. She is later shown to turn into a bird, or a large swarm of bats. She never turns into multiple birds or a single bat.

Xian Lang was an outcast as a young girl because of her chi. This is why she joined the Rourans, despite being Chinese (as evidenced by her name). She believes that Bori Khan will make a world where girls like her, born with strong chi, will not be outcasts.

Bori Khan treats Xian Lang horribly, being prejudiced against her gender and dismissing her strength. The Rourans in general also hate her for being a witch.

Xian Lang saw through Mulan’s disguise easily and also identifies that she has strong chi.

Oh and Chinese stories rarely have witches, Xian Lang should’ve been an nugui, kind of like an evil spirit or demoness but from Chinese folklore.

Here’s the thing that I find the funniest about the world Mulan (2020) has created.

Women should not be allowed to use chi. It has given all the proof for this rule to exist, and none to dissuade me from agreeing with it. Because the movie gives us two women with strong chi. Mulan, who actively suppresses her chi, and presumably only learns to use it during her training with the army. So, she is a chi beginner. The other woman is Xian Lang, who is immensely strong despite not looking much older than Mulan. She is probably the strongest character in the story, and definitely a chi master. The only other contenders for the title of strongest chi – not gender restricted – are the Emperor and the Commander. I believe the Emperor is stronger because Bori Khan lures him into a trap and still loses men trying to capture him. He restrains the Emperor with a ton of thick ropes. This guy is terrified of the Emperor and from the few times we see the Emperor fight? I don’t blame Bori Khan at all.

And yet the Emperor never possesses people. He doesn’t turn into a bird, or a swarm of bats, even when these would have FREED HIM AND SAVED HIS COUNTRY. Notably, none of this is ever stated as being against chi law. None of these abilities are stated to be the result of evil experimentation, forbidden techniques or any other taboo method. In the worldbuilding of Mulan (2020), Xian Lang’s chi is only evil because she is evil. And she is only evil because she is a woman with strong chi.

Mulan is a woman with strong chi.

The implication, the weird mess that Mulan (2020) has made, is that All Women With Strong Chi Become Witches. And men CANNOT become witches. Men cannot possess others. Men cannot shapeshift. Men can possibly learn to use throwing stars, but this is debatable. Women can not only do all these things, women are FATED to do so. If a woman is born with strong chi she becomes a witch.

And I don’t blame the ancient Chinese for wanting to suppress witchcraft! It looks hecking dangerous! They can possess anyone. They can break into secure spaces by shapeshifting. Sure, it’s not ethical to deny women access to chi because they could potentially become supervillains, but I can see why they went to that conclusion. The movie does nothing to address this. Mulan doesn’t vow to teach girls to use chi for good. But that’s FINE, because Xian Lang only became evil because of sexism, which is solved now, so cue the happy ending.

Even disregarding how the message of the movie is “girls get bullied for being born weird unless they prove themselves worthy of basic respect”, what is this WORLDBUILDING. Is Mulan in danger of poisoning her chi again and becoming a witch? If chi is for warriors, does that mean civilians can’t use chi? What if a farmer is born with strong chi, do we exile him until he becomes a warlock for the Rourans? How often are girls born with chi and how many of them suppress it correctly? Are they killed if they fail? Do they just join a circus and masquerade as acrobats?

Disney, chi is not a magic you can just throw around! It’s not bibbidi-bobbidi-boo! If you have a magical world, you need to teach the audience about the magical world. INSTEAD OF JUST POINTING. AT ANOTHER CULTURE. AND SAYING “THIS IS REPRESENTATION AND IF YOU HAVE PROBLEMS TAKE IT UP WITH THEM”. Yes, qi is part of my culture! CHI. IS. NOT. Its your abomination, stop using OUR STORIES and OUR TRADITIONS as a shield for YOUR SHODDY, LAZY, IDIOTIC WRITING.

Anyway all they had to do was not add ‘chi’ and have Mulan doing normal martial arts for fun or something. Just make her a normal tomboy. Sometimes girls like sport it doesn’t have to be because they were born with baseball magic.