#one is terrified while the other is super to delighted to see another Mari

[neskastree]

This is Doppelgänger!Mari from Pyroanime2k16 and my Elbneif!Mari! Yay! He requested this commission - usually I don't post them, but this one includes a Mari from my AU, sooo...

Check his Archive out! Or his Blog c:

[httpbread]

hiii! didn't see if there was a character limit per rq, so if there is n i am breaking it just ignore me jabksbcjdj could u donthe general dating hcs for yumeko, mary and ririka too? thanks!

pairing: mary x reader, yumeko x reader

character limit has never crossed my mind until now lmao,,, also sorry i decided not to do ririka :( i love her i’m just not as familiar with her character so i dont think i could do her justice,, hope thats okay!!

-

Mary

- Mary avidly denies liking PDA but is almost always holding your hand. Whether she’s dragging you somehow, holding your hand under the table while she gambles with you next to her, or just trying to get your attention.

- for the most part, she’s a very confident girlfriend. She likes to take the lead and make you flustered and think she has you wrapped around her finger.

- until you compliment her. Or kiss her. Or hug her.

- Mary practically melts into a heap of embarrassment, mostly because she really enjoys it

- she never really pictured herself in a relationship especially not after the student council’s attempt to marry her off

- that is, until she met you, of course.

- she’s still trying to get the hang of the whole relationship thing though so you’ll definitely have to help her sometimes

- part of her wants to keep your relationship very private and never speak a word of it to the world

- and the other half wants to wrap an arm around your waist and yell at anyone who even glances at you that you’re hers

- not really in a possessive sort of way but more in a proud way

- she’s still shocked you said yes in the first place of course she’s proud to have you by her side!

- but sometimes she does dearly want to protect you from the world, and more importantly the school around you

- she’s terrified that one day the student council will target you and she won’t be able to win and has even debated on breaking up with you a few times just to keep you safe

- but when you wish her luck before a gamble...

- Mary really feels like she can win anything

- even though she’s scared to lose you, when you sit by her during a match she feels like she’s invincible. Especially when you take her hand discreetly under the table.

- Ironically, you’re like her good luck charm

- whenever you stay after school to watch her gamble, Mary always ALWAYS walks you home.

- she loves when you take her hand and swing it between the two of you sort of childishly as you walk along, talking about whatever had happened in the day and what you planned to do

- Mary never was one for small talk but she realizes she could listen to you talk for hours

- sometimes when you’re complaining about something she’ll get really into it and get feisty. sometimes even more than you. "I’ll go up there right now, dammit. Don’t you worry. I’ll make sure they never give you a problem again." "Mary no-"

- Mary discovers with you that she really loves sleepovers.

- there’s something about eating snacks and snuggling all night with you under too many covers that’s so relaxing to her. She doesn’t have to be big and bold. She doesn’t have to win or compete.

- with you, she can throw a piece of popcorn at your face and win at life watching you laugh or listen to you whine making her laugh

- she also, shockingly, really likes sleepovers on school nights

- that way she can play with your hair in the morning and get ready with you

- she loves walking you home from school but seeing you sleepy and sort of stumbling next to her really warms her heart. She thinks it’s funny to subtly bump shoulders with you as you trudge along. Plus the sunrise and the morning air is really nice, especially next to you.

- Yumeko sniffs out your relationship only on the second day you guys were official

- she’s delighted but Mary is dismayed

- Yumeko has claimed the title as her ‘wingman’ and now will often give her relationship advice and use you to tease her

- sometimes the advice is actually useful though... and it’s not the worst to see you making more friends... and getting along with her friends...

- but still. She tries to tell you Yumeko is nuts and you should keep away from her. It doesn’t work, but it’s worth a shot.

- Mary isn’t big on fancy dates. She’s more into casual stuff like eating together at the nearest shitty fast food joint. Mary would actually probably consider walking you home a date, unfortunately. But if it means spending time with you and making you happy, she’ll put in the effort to plan something a little more romantic every once in a while.

- this is really when Yumeko’s advice helps her out

- despite being kind of clumsy when it comes to romance and usual dating etiquette Mary does her best and she loves you very much

- she’s definitely always there to support you in everything you do and actively tries to be involved in your hobbies and see what you’re up to

- she’s also always there to stand up for you when others try and give you shit. You might have to drag her away because she has a tendency to get into full-blown arguments over even the slightest dirty look your way.

- Mary is doing her best.

Yumeko

- really hope you like gambling

- because her absolute FAVORITE thing to do is gamble with you

- would she use you as a bet?

- oh absolutely. no hesitation. but only when she knows exactly that she’ll win

- she thinks it’s cute if you get all nervous and even hotter if you’re confident in your gambling skills

- she’s actually a little sour when you can’t make it to one of her matches. not towards you but towards everyone who isn’t you.

- Yumeko is a freak for PDA tbh

- ALWAYS has her arms wrapped around you in one way or another. She feels like a snake trying to strangle you sometimes. she means well she just loves to love on you 

- could not give any less of a shit who sees. Will blatantly ignore anyone and everyone because you are her partner and she loves you very much.

- she’s a very enthusiastic girlfriend.

- always trying to do wild things to spice up your relationship. would absolutely suggest things like skydiving as a casual date. it’d be like a back and forth debate to finally get to a more calm medium date like a fancy restaurant or something.

- Yumeko doesn’t actually mind where you two go, she just likes to mess with you sometimes. She keeps you on your toes.

- not only is she super PDA friendly she flirts shamelessly with you all the time. She loves watching your reactions. 

- she also really loves to have you sit in her lap while she gambles. no matter how long the match is. 

- Yumeko likes to bring you to the mall to go shopping. Sometimes she tries to be sly and buy you things without you noticing but Yumeko has never been subtle a day in her life when it came to you.

- but also after a long day in the mall she always buys you ice cream and sits on the edge of the water fountain. It becomes a tradition to make a wish, even though it feels a little silly.

- Yumeko wouldn’t really go out of her way to keep you away from the student council but she would get heated fairly quickly if one of them tried to challenge you. She takes your place every single time and it is never followed by a pleasant atmosphere in-game.

- after something like that she definitely takes you to do something off-campus if not just straight to her house to just snuggle and take a nap

- Yumeko thrives off praise from you. She loves when you fawn over her with compliments and congratulations when she wins a match. She can’t stop beaming when you kiss her cheek and tell her she’s amazing.

- she definitely praises you a lot though. She thinks you’re the most interesting person she has ever met so of course, she thinks the world of you, and she is NOT afraid to show it.

- Yumeko loves you and she’ll be damned if you and everyone and their mother doesn’t know it.

[angeltears-writing]

The Brother’s and movies

Lucifer

v  Lucifer tells anyone who asks that he enjoys serious, dramatic movies set during the wartimes the type that get Oscar nominations but are quite intense and a little dull.

v  Lucifer however holds a dirty little secret that his prideful nature will not allow him to outwardly share.

v  He LOVES Christmas movies.

v  The end of year holiday movie’s just alleviate all the stress in him. He is so happy while watching that he can barely keep the grin off his face.

v  DO NOT watch Home Alone with him and Mammon. Lucifer every 2 minutes is mouthing off against Mammon stating that HE is the Kevin of the family.

v  His favourite holiday movie is the Santa Clause.

v  The holidays are so special to him and the movies just capture the atmosphere and joy he feels.

v  He loves Christmas because he finally gets a break from his duties, he can have a fun little party with his beloved brothers and friends, he receives and gives meaningful gifts and even Satan is nice to him on Christmas.

v  When you come to the Devildom you bet Lucifer is watching Love Actually with you and every single romantic Christmas movie so he can feel enjoy the warm fuzzy feelings assiociated with his favourite holiday with his beloved Y/n.

Mammon

v  Before you came the Devildom Mammon solely watched hardcore triple X action movies. Unless on movie night with his brothers, then he’s forced to watch some boring artsy flick or some anime junk movie .*cough cough Levi*

v  He was a total dudebro and loved PointBreak.He owns the full collection of the Fast and the Furious. What’s not to love with the live fast, die hard law breaker lifestyle?

v  The man also lives for heist movies, Oceans 11? He has it memorised! He thinks about how HE would be a huge asset to the team and dreams about pulling off some high action super cool heist with you.

v  When Y/n comes to the Devildom it is like a flip of a switch for Mammon.

v  He says he can handle horror movies but you both know that’s a big fat lie so only insist on watching them if you wish to torture him.

v  He will complain and insult your choices of chick flicks and romantic comedies but he is enraptured.

v  HE LOVES it, he watches a couple of them in secret and daydreams about you and him as the main couple.

v  This man wants to pull a Heath Ledger and serenade you to “Can’t Take My Eyes Off You” in front of his brothers, Diavolo, RAD, heck even the whole Devildom.

v  He is living for these romantic comedies and constantly tries to recreate his favourite cutesy moments with you. (Did he get you “special wishing sparkles” and told you to close your eyes and make a wish? Did he then give you a shy blushy kiss when you opened your eyes and say wish granted? Who knows that’s between you and him.)

v  Oh and you bet he’s crying when the couple’s fight and cheering so hard when they finally get together. He can’t help it he’s a secret romantic. Don’t be so loud about it Y/n! He has a tough guy attitude to maintain.

Leviathan

v  Anime movies. Need I go on?

v  He has the Blu-ray special editions of Studio Ghibli movies and he loves watching them on rainy cold days snuggled under a blanket with you.

v  He loves Ponyo for obvious water and fish related reasons. You guys have defiantly done cosplay photo shoots, he was Ponyo, you were Sosuke and Henry was the fishy sisters.

v  Other than anime movie’s Levi is a 80’s movie aficionado. He has seen every 80’s movie. He particularly relates to the high school movies for the theme of the awkward nerdy guy getting the super cool, popular girl of their dreams.

v  He does enjoy the nerdier comic book, big budget action movies, like Kick-Ass. He and Satan have faced off against each other regarding whether DC or Marvel movies are better. (He prefers the funny antics associated with Marvel plus he’s a Peter Parker fanboy)

v  He also is a huge fan of any Edgar Wright movie since seeing Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. (He let out a Woaahhhh when he saw the comics)

v  May Lord Diavolo have mercy upon you if the movie is a book or tv show adaption because Levi will not shut up during the movie. (He will pause the movie he’s not THAT inconsiderate.) You will not have a moment of peace after the movie has ended. He simply must share every single thought he had on what the movie did right and what the movie did wrong. Then he has to show you his fan casting list of who would better fit the roles and then just when you think it’s over he pushes you to re-watch the movie with him to listen to the director commentary.  

v  Levi will generally save his commentary for after the movie if you got to the movie theatre with him. Something about the change of atmosphere and the excitement that comes from the movie watching experience just puts him in a calmer less frantic mood and you can enjoy a simple quiet movie date for an hour or 2 before your ear will be talked off.

 Satan

v  DO NOT WATCH BOOK TO MOVIE ADAPTATIONS WITH HIM! HE IS WORSE THAN LEVI AND TWICE AS BRUTAL IN HIS CRITICS.

v  Now that that fact is out of the way Satan is a mystery fan. He enjoys the cheesy who dunnit type movie’s especially if the detective solving the mystery is very cool and charismatic with a fun catch phrase.

v  One that caught him of guard and quickly became his favourite was Knives Out. A clear mystery with a wacky bunch of characters all with misleading facts and motivations. Additionally he was thrown for a loop on the ending so he really enjoyed it for its unpredictability.

v  Of course Satan enjoys DC movies I mean he and Levithan read the comics and he is a clear believer that the serious tone and consequence from DC makes them the far superior super hero franchise.

v  Contrary to popular belief Satan does not like documentaries, he gets restless and bored watching them, but you keep putting on those boring long documentaries because it leads to a very steamy make out session with a slightly huffy Satan who had been complaining that his movie choice would have been much more enjoyable. Hush hush Satan we are not watching the Blue Planet to sate our curiosity of the inner workings of the environment but rather to quiet your adorable little tuts and huffs with soft sweet kisses and gentle touches.

v  The double edged sword that comes from picking a documentary is that Satan will indeed make you suffer by making his pick a terrifying horror movie since he thinks you are oh so adorable when you’re frightened. He thinks it’s really cute when you ask him to walk you to the bathroom because you’re afraid of the big scary monsters and it’s even cuter to him when you throw your face into his chest and refuse to look until the scary scene is over. Haaa he cannot resist and must pat your head and give you a small peck.

Asmo

v  When one watches a movie with Asmo, one does not simply see it, one lives it.

v  Asmo loves 90s and early 2000s movies about the pretty popular girls because he lives to see their fabulous closets, outfits and their dewy supple skin. He’s a huge fan of Clueless, Legally Blonde and Bring It on.

v  He also simply dies for those cult classic like, Mommie Dearest, Troop Beverly Hills, Drop Dead Gorgeous, Marie Antoinette, Death Becomes Her and many more. You guys put on face masks grab a couple of tasty cupcakes and start reciting the movies line for line bursting into giggles every time, that’s how many times you’ve seen them.

v  Asmo gets the appeal of campy movie’s that have not been appreciated for their odd charm so when you come along you bet he’s going to be shouting out his favourite one liners and you fire the responses right back. He’s in love.

v  What he loves most about the campy movies is the fabulosity and authenticity that comes from the movie’s just wanting to tell a great story and celebrate the oddities and dramatics of the characters. His favourites are the ones with drag queens particularly Priscilla Queen of the Desert, To Wong Foo and The Birdcage. How is he not meant to simply adore the beautiful wigs, costumes, the attitudes of the queens and the sharp, dry, witty humour.

v  Big blockbuster wise Asmo is inclined to see any musical, and yes for 3 weeks straight he will sing the songs of the musical, much  to the displeasure of his brothers but to the delight of you and Solomon who cheer him on and request encores. (Yes you all went to see Cats together, yes you dragged Satan along. Yes everyone but especially Satan was traumatised and yes Asmo did drape himself across every available surface in the House of Lamentation and belted out Memory for practically the whole Devildom to enjoy. Enough with the questions!)

v  Asmo’s favourite musical is Rocky Horror Picture show, you have monthly viewings where Asmo dresses up as Frank en Furter and performs…well not for you more on top of you.

v  Movies with Asmo are always fun treats, you both have a great time with each other and walk away from the movie’s feeling more emotional and closer with one another.

Beel

v  Beel’s taste in movies is similar to his taste in food he is not picky and enjoys a wide variety.

v  He enjoys mafia movies of any variety He likes the familial bond and the trust between members but does not enjoy the double crossing, it makes him feel sad.

v  Other than that he lives for the lively mood, the Italian food, the dramatic situations and the action sequences.

v  He has seen a few animated movies and his favourite is Brother Bear, it reminds him of him and Belphie and makes him soft.

v  He does actually does like twin movies because the plots are always outlandish and funny to him at least.

v  When it comes to movies where food is central to the plot, do not get him started. The amount of times you had to pause Ratatouille so he could get his 20th snack in the last 10 minutes was astonishing. He get’s extra hungry watching the movie but generally enjoys chatting to you about the food making process of each dish rather than paying attention to the plot. (You: Would you prepare food made by a rat? Him: Well I ate Solomon’s cooking once so even a rat’s cooking would be better than that)

v  He loves to ask which dish would you eat when restaurant scenes come up because he’s curious of your taste while watching the movie and sometimes he’ll stop paying attention the movie and instead just watch your reactions.

v  Generally speaking any movie suggestion he’s fine with as long as he gets to spend time with you and can binge on delicious movie snacks.

Belphie

v  The total opposite of Beel, Belphie is a total film snob and will harshly berate your movie choice and say ‘You really made me stay awake for this crap fest.’

v  He doesn’t mean to be mean (yes he does but he doesn’t like making you sad) he just has a very particular taste for movies and if he’s going to extend the effort to stay awake and pay attention he wants it to be worth his time.

v  He is actually the one in the house who does enjoy documentaries. What can he say some habits die hard and he’s still a total Earth nut even though he human-phobic.

v  Not to mention the gentle voice of David Attenbourough soothes him until he is just barely awake so when he finally drifts off he dreams of the wonderful parts of Earth and the miracles or nature.

v  He is a fan of Shakespeare movies particularly the rich dark one’s that are a bit more violent. The atmosphere surrounding them just fits and the plot is a classic so why watch a cheap knock-off of what he has dubbed perfect writing.

v  This man is an emo so of course he’s going to watch the slightly pretentious movies with poetry, his favourites are Dead Poets Society, The Crow and V for Vendetta.

v  On movie nights he is selfish! He insists that you watch his movie first then he immediately falls asleep after it ends. He feels no shame over this.

v  He hates twin themed movies, he thinks they’re cheap and over use the same gag of ‘Whoa they’re twins.’ (Sorry Mary-Kate and Ashley Belphie does not like you guys at all)

v  He watches brother themed movies with Beel and gets really soft because he loves his twin so much.

v  If you truly force him he will relent and watch your movie with you but he will make fun of it and bully you every second he is awake and the only way to silence him is to cuddle up close, let him lay his head on your chest or shoulder, massage his head or give him tons of kisses.  

v  Generally speaking a bad movie buddy but a great cuddle buddy for movie nights.

[demivampirew]

Keep Calm and Go to London chapter 42

Previous Chapters in the masterlist

A/N: I usually don’t include important storyline and smut in the same chapters if someone doesn’t enjoy smut, but this time I did. So if you don’t like smut, you can read the first part and when it says “keep reading” don’t read it because it’s smut.

Triggers: first half: talking about body issues, eating disorders, bullying, body change, thoughts about possibly having kids; family issues. Second half: SMUT.

  Tag list: @mary-ann84​  @yespolkadotkitty​ @constip8merm8​ @iloveyouyen​  @wondersofdreaming​ @alyxkbrl​ @solariumss​  @sweetybuzz25​ @thethirstyarchive​ @agniavateira​   @honeyloverogers​ @hell1129-blog​   @lunedelorient​​  @michelle-1185​​  @madbaddic7ed​​     @summersong69​​ @kaatelyyynn​​ @henrythickcavill​ @wolvesandhoundshowltogether​ @desperate-and-broken​ @peakygroupie​  @ivvitm1109​  @the-soot-sprite @whyyoudothistomecavill @thevelvetseries​ @thetaoofzoe​

Even if you were alone in your house, you closed the bathroom door just in case Henry happened to walk in. Every day, you would grab a pillow and put in under one of your sleeping shirts -that you stole from your boyfriend. The plan was to see how you would look like if you were pregnant. Giving the fact that you suffered from body issues for a long time, and it wasn't completely a thing of the past, you thought that you should feel comfortable with your body changing if you were to have a baby someday. People would think you were shallow if they knew you care so much about your appearance, but you couldn't help it: usually, people like you, who grew up in a town were all the girls looked like skinny Barbies and did not fell into that stereotype and was bullied because of the way you looked, as well as dealing with eating disorders, having that kind of body change could be extremely traumatic.

No matter what was the reason you gave to justify your decision of not wanting kids, people always would find a way to make you look bad: if you cared about your looks, you were vain; when you said that you didn't feel that maternal desire, they would assure you once you had the baby in your hands everything would change and if you pointed out that there are people who never develop that motherly instinct, they would lose their sh*t. A constant question you've heard was "Who's going to take care of you when you're old if you don't have kids?" "well, isn't it selfish to bring a kid to the world for the purpose of taking care of you?" you would reply, which of course would make people go mad. As a contrast to that people, you didn't judge them for their decision. If they wanted kids to have company and not to feel lonely or because they wanted someone to take care of them when they're older or put their desire of being parents above everything else -like economic stability, to make sure that you'd have the time to take care of it, etc. that was ok, it was none of your business. Oddly enough, the looks weren't what scared you the most about pregnancy. Whenever you thought about carrying a child, you got a claustrophobic sensation; it simply felt weird. The other terrifying thought was labour. Some of your closest friends had traumatic experiences while bringing their kids into the world and you didn't know if you could ever go through something like that.

Despite all those negative points, the thought of having a little kid to play with you and your man was delighting. You adored his nephews and niece and loved to play with them. The ones who lived in London were practically teenagers now so you could play your favourite video games with - like Mortal Kombat and Resident Evil. With the younger ones who you met when you were in Jersey, you would like to play games outside and more artistic activities like drawing. Thomas was probably your favourite because he wanted to learn guitar and you started to teach him - even bought him a black Les Paul Gibson that you were planning to give him as a Christmas present.

After taking a shower, you changed and put on some makeup and when you finished getting ready, you called a cab to take you to Henry's place so you would go to the airport together.

Henry's family invited you to spend Christmas with them in Jersey. At first, you didn't know how to react: on one hand, you were super excited; your family rarely celebrated the holiday -for them it was just another day. For you it was not, you would pretend that it was, but secretly wanted a big family celebration and you were finally getting one. On the other hand, however, you were nervous because his family knew about your break up. It was silly because it wasn't like you fought or anything, but you weren't sure how they would look at you for that. Henry assured you that he had to hear his mom gave him a speech about he was making a huge mistake and she was overjoyed when she found out that you were back together.

Henry was used to flying in business class but flying in first class was one of the few luxuries you liked to give yourself.

As you went to the toilet, your boyfriend awaited for you. He was reading one of the books of The Wheel of Time series, again - he read those books like a thousand times.

A hand covered your mouth as you opened the door to get out, and then you were back inside as Henry looked the bathroom.

- What are you doing? - you spoke softly and he shushed you and smirked devilishly.

He started to kiss you and then you felt his hand inside your pants. He pressed you against the tiny wall and pressed his lips against yours and other parts of your body while his finger rubbed your clit. His free hand grabbed yours as your fingers intertwined. He kissed that hand and then his mouth reached yours once again. You moaned silently against his mouth after reaching climax. You would have loved to pleasure him with your mouth, but he was so big for that little space that it was hard for you to get on your knees.  So you copied him and used your hand to please him. After playing with his manhood for a few minutes, it was hard and ready for action. He picked you up, holding you by your tights and after you put him inside of you, he started to pound you. The adrenaline that gave you the fear of being caught made things even hotter. You knew that if somebody found out what was happening, you would end up in every magazine and website because both of you were famous and people love a good sex celebrity 'scandal'. The tongues danced in each other's mouth ferociously as your hands grabbed his hair between your fingers. It wasn't a big problem for you to remain quiet because you were more into the silent type of lover, you showed your pleasure through gestures rather than noises, your man on the other side, he was always as loud as it gets and he was suffering by not being able to grunt and moan loudly as he does when you two have sex. He wasn't the kind of aggressive lover - he was passionate but tender, but this time, when he finished he bit you quite hard on the shoulder to avoid making noise. Of course, you did not complain about that pain was delicious.  You were extra careful when it came to using protection and always used condoms, but once in a while you would forget about it so, thankfully you had an IUD for extra security -and both got tested to be sure there was nothing to worry about it you were to forget a condom.

He went out first so you could refresh yourself and then you joined him.

Thankfully, first class wasn't packed of people and apparently, no one noticed that you two were gone. You spent the rest of the flight giggling and he kissed your hand as he told you that he loved you, not with words, but with those ocean blue eyes and that smile that brightened even the darkest of days.

[bunnyandbirb]

Bunny Reviews: Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)

Let me preface this review by saying that I’m a huge Harley Quinn fan, like every other ex-emo e-girl (I cringe at my past self on the daily). I’ve always liked her insanity and edgy outfits, although I like to think that now I appreciate her complexity. Well, and the outfits . The Joker I never really cared about  - save for Heath Ledger’s epic performance in the Dark Knight. When they announced Jared Leto as the Joker for Suicide Squad? Gag. And then when they released what he looked like? Double gag. To say that movie was a let down for me as a Harley fan would be the understatement of the fucking century. So when I heard that Margot Robbie was producing her own Harley movie, I was beyond excited. But also completely terrified. I was scared it was going to be another Suicide Squad but part of me really hoped Margot cared enough about the character to make her something great. I mean if there was one thing redeemable about Suicide Squad, it was Margot’s Harley. I knew that she really loved and understood what made Harley so great. 

And, I must say, I was not disappointed. Birds of Prey is a fucking blast. It’s high energy and colorful, but gory in all the right ways and shines some light on underappreciated DC characters. This movie deserves so much more love. So instead of wasting too much time on how it could’ve been better, let’s talk about some of my favorite things about it. Oh and caution, maybe slight spoilers ahead!

A quick synopsis in case you don’t know: Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) tells the story of Harley Quinn after Joker breaks up with her some time after the end of the Suicide Squad plot line. Without Mistah J’s protection, all of the people she’s done wrong are after her and Harley needs to figure out how to fend for herself. One of the many people with a revenge shtick for Harley is Roman Sionis and his creepy af second hand man Victor Zsasz. In order to have her face sliced off, Harley agrees to find a diamond that was stolen from them by a small pickpocket named Cassandra Cain. Along the way, they team up with Dinah Lance (Black Canary), Renee Montoya (a cop trying to bring Roman down), and Helena Bertinelli (Huntress). She also has a hyena named Bruce.

So… why did I love this movie (besides the hyena named Bruce)? Well….

The motherfucking fight scenes

If there’s one thing BOP definitely doesn’t skimp on, it’s fight scenes. There are tons throughout the movie and each brings some insanely unique choreography to the screen. You get to see a variety of weapons like a bat, a hammer, a gun that shoots glitter bombs, a crossbow (not just a bow, Huntress ain’t no Robin Hood)… No fight scene is the same from the last and they’re a treat to watch. Watching Black Canary slam a thug’s head through a car window could never disappoint - trust me. And Harley doing all of her usual acrobatics while fighting dudes on a trampoline is just insanely cool to see. When the 4 of them all fight together, there’s something going on no matter where you look on the screen and each has their own unique fighting style that remains throughout the movie. The choreographers put a lot of care and thought into every move and it really shows. 

You can tell a woman made it (thank god)

One of the many cringey things about Suicide Squad, from a very long list of terrible things, was Harley’s ridiculous outfit. Those tiny ass shorts and push up bra with “Daddy’s Little Monster” across her chest? Ew. That shit has male gaze just written all over it. That sort of vibe isn’t present in BOP. Are Harley’s outfits maybe impractical? Probably, but they’re impractical in a way that Harley would want. They’re flashy and full of sequins - not super tight or pushing things up that should be held down. Are the women still all hot? I mean duh, because they’re all just insanely hot no matter what you have them wear but not in a “Hello I am only here because all of my skin is showing” kind of way. They get to look bad-ass and hot at the same time in a “Don’t fuck with me” kind of way. And it’s fucking awesome. It’s one of the most refreshing things about the film. 

The few times that a woman is put in a scenario where she’s seen as an object, it comes off as insanely creepy. Roman (played by Ewan McGregor) telling a woman to dance on a table and strip is not meant to come across as a good old sexy time. It’s presented as a harrowing thing to do and just adds to the evil nature of the character. You’re meant to hate him for doing that to a woman.

Also, as an added bonus, in one of the fight scenes Harley skates over to Black Canary to give her a hair tie. That’s something all women know too well and I very much enjoyed that touch. Nothing worse than your hair getting in the way when you’re trying to fight an army.

Huntress

Do I have to add much here? Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Huntress is amazing and the only thing I want is more of her in this movie. Her dry, awkward delivery and that outfit are incredible. Just look at her and go see the movie.

It’s just so very Harley

There’s something about the way Birds of Prey is made that feels so very Harley Quinn. It’s narrated in her iconic voice which immediately lets you know what kind of ride you’re in for. The scenes jump around in time like someone just a little off is telling you the story and keeps going off on tangents. There’s snarky, childish illustrations that show up on screen to tell you who people are. You can tell that it’s HER story and not about the Joker. She wants to tell you it her way and show you that she’s more than just the Joker’s girlfriend, no matter what other people might say. As someone who read a lot of the Harley Quinn comics, it’s delightful to see and translates a lot of the same feel the books had to the big screen. 

Birds of Prey is in no way a perfect movie. But honestly, it’s not trying to be. It’s a load of messy, colorful fun and full of sass and girl-fucking-power. It’s freakin’ awesome. I give it the Bunny Stamp of Approval. Birds of Prey is a confirmed BOP (get it?).

 ~ stay tuned for nonsense ~

- bunny

[valentinewheeler]

2018 Book Recap!

If you follow me on twitter you saw this already, but here’s my favorites I read this year.

They weren’t all 2018 releases, but they’re what hit my kindle/bookshelf and stood out! In reverse order, basically, of when I read them. Check out the list below - it’s a little eclectic.

The Good Neighbor: The Life and Works of Fred Rogers (Maxwell King) - My toddler is ALL ABOUT Mr. Rogers. Turns out he was just as wonderful in life as he was on TV. If you’ve got a small person in your life who loves him (or you were one), I recommend this deep dive into his life and legacy.

Blackfish City (Sam J. Miller) - This sat on my kindle for months before I opened it, but once I passed the first few chapters and got into the world, I blew through 90% in a day. Beautifully woven storytelling, deep worldbuilding. Infrastructure, plague, and culture clash: three things that win me instantly. PLUS a nonbinary POV character!!

A Conspiracy of Truths (Alex Rowland) - I hate unreliable narrators, and yet, here I am, in love with this book. I finished the audiobook (which is BEAUTIFULLY narrated!!) and actually yelled out loud when there wasn’t any more. WHAT A WORLD. Economics, legal drama, and grumpy characters: three more things I can’t resist in a novel.

A Duke by Default/A Princess in Theory (Alyssa Cole) - I hadn’t read much romance until this year, and I don’t know why because turns out I love it. Or at least, I love Alyssa Cole’s work. Both of these had great heroines and super fun supporting casts. I loved both of them equally. I want the next one immediately.

Witchmark (C.L. Polk) - Everyone said I’d love this. EVERYONE WAS RIGHT. Magic! Bikes! Social class based on a false meritocracy! MURDER! MAGIC-SCIENCE BLEND! REALLY FREAKY PAYOFF! Read it. You’re missing out if you don’t.

Spinning Silver (Naomi Novik) - Now, I’ve loved Naomi Novik’s work for about fifteen years. I knew I’d like this one. What I didn’t expect was to have to lie down for a few hours to contemplate it after reading it in one go. I love a main character who ISN’T traditionally sympathetic but you love anyway. Beautifully woven folklore and feeling.

Legend (and sequels) (Marie Lu) - I love YA dystopias with all my heart. This was such a great one. I loved the characters, I loved the setting, I loved seeing the broader world than is usually seen in a post-apocalyptic setting (how DO other governments handle the end of the old way??) Just a delightful read.

Fuzzy Nation (John Scalzi) - I tried to minimize my white men on my reading list this year, but Scalzi is always an exception. I LOVE the original work, and this is a beautiful update. But then, legal battles in space will always win me over. Love it just as much as HBP’s, which is a pretty high bar to cross.

Forest of a Thousand Lanterns (Julie C Dao) - This took me a while to get through, because it was so, I don’t know, filled with impending doom? This little book had such a dark, blood-soaked voice, and I love a fairytale retelling that DOESN’T go how you expect. Absolutely worth reading. Lush setting, high body count.

The Poet X (Elizabeth Acevedo) - If I had known this was all in verse, I wouldn’t have picked it up. So I’m really glad I didn’t know that. If that turns you off, listen to the audiobook. A phenomenal performance. What an immersive experience this book was. It’s stuck with me for months after reading.

The Book of the Unnamed Midwife (Meg Elison) - I love post-apocalyptic stories. This was a brutal one. Explores how different communities deal in the face of disaster, and not for the weak of stomach. But one of my favorite PA books of the year for sure. Bought the sequel and finished both in one day.

An Extraordinary Union/A Hope Divided (Alyssa Cole) - The other set of her books I devoured this year. The first slavery-era US romance I’ve read that didn’t leave a sour taste in my mouth. The way she builds her characters and their bonds is just SO #goals.

Orientalism (Edward Said) - I’ve been meaning to read this for a while, and I finally made it through this year. A little dated, maybe, but a dense brick of really interesting thinking and history. A classic for a reason!! The audiobook is GREAT.

Americanah (Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie) - I love a character who is lying to herself! And I love a book where the backstory is meted out in drips and dabs. A dive into communities I know very little about, some of which are right around the corner from me. Ifemelu is a completely solid character, one that feels ABSOLUTELY real.

Trail of Lightning (Rebecca Roanhorse) - If you’ve read her short fiction, you know she’s a master. This lived up to it. Post-apocalyptic Navajo monsterhunters? Exactly as awesome as promised. The mythology and worldbuilding are perfection.

The Calculating Stars/The Fated Sky (Mary Robinette Kowal) - THESE BOOKS! I love alternate history, I love space, I love characters who confront prejudice within themselves and without! Every character makes SENSE, even when they’re awful! All the science feels absolutely real! I WANT TO GO TO SPACE

The Book of M (Peng Shepherd) - My goodness, I read a lot of post apocalyptic novels this year? This one has one of my personal fears - memory loss that can’t be stopped. Another great blend of science and maybe-magic and spirituality (?) and how humans cope with weird, horrifying, tragic things.

Alexander Hamilton (Ron Chernow) - I figured before seeing Hamilton I needed to read the book, and I’m really glad I did. Super engaging, with just the right blend of anecdote and data. After reading this I definitely annoyed my mother and my spouse during the whole musical by whispering trivia at them.

War Against All Puerto Ricans (Nelson Denis) - I’m ashamed to say I knew very little about the history of Puerto Rico. After reading this book, that really pisses me off. The US really did PR wrong, and continues to do so. A vital read for anyone interested in US history.

Cinder/Scarlet/Winter/Cress (Marissa Meyer) - Apparently people have been into these for years and I’m just hitting them now. Fun YA, a genre I’ve missed (I like all this hard-hitting, serious YA, but sometimes over the top silly is absolutely necessary!). Spouse and I enjoyed pointing out all the absurd fairy tale tropes.

Station Eleven (Emily St. John Mandel) - !!! I’m ALL ABOUT books that weave together multiple stories that you KNOW how to intersect somehow but you don’t know HOW IT WILL HAPPEN! Post apocalyptic, weaving stories over fifteen years, all connecting to the life of one guy as the apocalypse hits. GREAT.

All God’s Children Need Travelling Shoes (Maya Angelou) - Yes, I’m well past missing the boat here. But I’m catching up. My goodness, she’s a beautiful writer. And the period covered in the book is spellbinding and brutal and painful and gorgeous.

Cooking is Terrible (Misha Fletcher) - Okay, do you have like twelve minutes and four dollars to cook dinner every night? THIS BOOK IS FOR YOU. Easy recipes in non-threatening form, with going off-script absolutely encouraged. I read this start to finish and have been referring back FREQUENTLY as I cook.

Front Desk (Kelly Yang) - THE MIDDLE GRADE BOOK I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED. Oh, this was wonderful. I want to give this to every ten year old I know (which is actually none?). Mysteries! Racism! Badass middle schoolers! Intra-community problems! Three-dimensional characters! YES!

Edge of Nowhere (Felicia Davin) - SPACE ROMANCE! Teleportation! Cafe-owning lesbians! Sweet big stoic guy/small angry disaster guy romance (my FAVORITE KIND)! SPACE SPORTS! Space HEIST!!!! Alternate dimensions! YES.

Everything I Never Told You (Celeste Ng) - This one hurt. What real, beautiful, flawed, horrible characters. All their choices made sense in context, all their pain felt real, and I didn’t want to leave them when the book ended. Content warnings for child death. The 1970s have never felt so close.

Little Fires Everywhere (Celeste Ng) - I usually hate books that start at the end, but this one earned it. Disaster rich people are kind of my jam, especially when they have consequences. And again the characters were the stars. I felt like I knew everyone, and I loved them even when they were awful.

Into the Drowning Deep (Mira Grant) - I’m never going in the ocean again. Mermaids have been ruined forever. Terrifying. Great characters, some of whom die horribly. Scary scary unending horrorshow. But oh, what a way to go. Gory fun filled with great representation.

Uprooted (Naomi Novik) - I was so delighted by Spinning Silver I almost forgot that I loved this one NEARLY as much! Scary forest, plenty of fantasy/fairytale tropes turned on their heads. Disaster love interest. Competent, frustrated main character. A+.

The Beauty that Remains - There were a lot of dead friends books this year, and this was my favorite in the not-police-related category of those. Strangers whose lives weave together around the deaths of three people close to them all, and the band that brought them all closer. Gorgeous.

An Indigenous People’s History of the US (Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz) - Another one that’s absolutely vital in filling gaps in the history I’ve learned of this country. Engaging writing and strong voice. Didn’t give me any warm patriotic fuzzies, that is for sure.

Company Town (Madeline Ashby) - Floating future town! Unions! Murder! Loved it.

The Underground Railroad (Colson Whitehead) - I know the boat on this was a couple years ago, but what a chilling, brutal, beautiful book. The slight speculative element was just the perfect touch to give it a flavor of myth, if that makes sense. Steel yourself before reading.

River of Teeth (Sarah Gailey) - HIPPOS! IN THE MISSISSIPPI! This was a DELIGHT from start to finish. Leverage on HIPPOS in the Wild West?! YES PLEASE.

The Wanderers (Meg Howrey) - Astronauts on a simulated mission to Mars basically all break down, as does everyone around them. I adored this book. I loved the thousand POVs because each one was its own distinct voice. I loved the different ways everybody fell apart!

Infomocracy (Malka Older) - WORLDBUILDING!!!!!! Future elections, future political system, future tech, all brilliantly built. I need to read the sequels, but I haven’t managed to work up the brainpower I know they deserve!!! READ THIS if you like scifi political minutiae (I DO)

The Poppy War (RF Kuang) - The first half is Tamora Pierce, the second half is George RR Martin, but better. This was nothing like what I expected. Absolutely staggeringly, brutally beautiful. What a bold novel. Will buy anything else she ever writes sight unseen.

Warcross (Marie Lu) - This is what I wanted Ready Player One to be. Virtual reality gaming with real life consequences. References and fantastic characters. The sequel is just as good.

Zeroboxer (Fonda Lee) - BOXING IN SPACE! Secret science!! MYSTERIES!! All things I love.

Dread Nation (Justina Ireland) - GREAT. Zombies during the Civil War. A heroine who takes no shit and instead takes zombie heads off. COMBAT SCHOOLS. SUPER GREAT.

An Ember in the Ashes (Sabaa Tahir) - I didn’t expect to love this the way I did, but I devoured it, and the two sequels, each in about a day. This felt like all the best parts of old-school fantasy novels, the thick kind you shoved in your backpack in seventh grade, but BETTER. And I love a good Evil Roman!

Space Opera (Catherynne Valente) - Queen meets Hitchhiker’s Guide! This was a JOURNEY from start to finish, a glorious, absurd, delightful meditation on fame and Eurovision and what it means to be worthwhile and human and a person. YES.

The Broken Earth (NK Jemisin) - More like the BROKEN ME after reading these. Periapocalyptic fiction, absolutely 100% deserving every award and more. Content warning for very small child death brutally described, and more horrors. NK Jemisin goes HARD.

American Islamophobia (Khaled A Beydoun) - Could not put this down. I learned an astonishing amount, especially about the historical place of Islam, Muslims, and Islamophobia in the US. A hard read, but worth the work.

All the Birds in the Sky (Charlie Jane Anders) - Okay, I have to admit it, I have no idea what was going on in this book. But that didn’t stop me from loving it!! Witches and technology and animals and weird apocalyptic nonsense! DELIGHTFUL

Anger is a Gift (Mark Oshiro) - Another YA book that pulled no punches. What a phenomenal look into the way kids and communities of color move through the world, and how the world moves against them.

History is All You Left Me (Adam Silvera) - SO MANY DEAD FRIEND BOOKS THIS YEAR. A great use of the start at the middle, work both directions format, it covers both the time before the death of the MC’s ex and the fallout. I wept through most of it.

White Tears (Hari Kunzru) - Horror, and the villain is essentially appropriation. Very satisfying! The author’s love of music comes through. A nerdy, scary, millennial read.

Love, Hate and Other Filters (Samira Ahmed) - Loved this. Melded teen interpersonal drama, family expectations vs. dreams, and confronting the world and the way they see you all at once, woven together in a beautiful way.

A People’s History of the US (Howard Zinn) - Obviously this is great. I listened to the audiobook, narrated by his son. Sobbed through the child labor chapters. Cheered at the union chapters. Loved it.

Thornfruit/Nightvine/Shadebloom (Felicia Davin) - I LOVE WORLDBUILDING. This is a fantasy on a world that doesn’t turn, so night and day are DIRECTIONS, not times. SO COOL. And I adore the main character. Small Angry/Large Shy is the BEST ROMANCE TROPE. The magic and language is beautifully developed.

Tempests and Slaughter (Tamora Pierce) - Look. I’ll read a gonorrhea brochure if Tamora Pierce writes it. So you knew this would be on the list. But it earned its spot! I love Numair in the Daine series, and he’s a tiny ball of feelings in this. I need more.

Unfamiliar Fishes (Sara Vowell) - I’ve always been interested in Hawaiian history, and though this was a little light and memoir-y for my taste, it contained a shocking amount of information that went down easy in her light, friendly style. Absolutely worth the couple hours it’ll take you.

The Only Harmless Great Thing (Brooke Bolander) - Elephants! Memory! What it means to have value! What we owe other beings! Radium! Sharp and dark and deeper than it has any right to be.

[swanslieutenant]

from the sea - chapter two

Summary: When Emma becomes sheriff, the pressure of running a department with a dwindling budget becomes nothing but an exercise in frustration. That is, until she finds an unlikely ally in the town treasurer, a man who her kid Henry is convinced is not an ally at all, but rather a villainous enemy. Season 1 AU, Cursed!Killian.

Rating and Warnings: Teen.

Catch up: ch1

Read on AO3

Thanks for the feedback on the last chapter! I’m glad people are enjoying this :) 

A couple of days after her meeting with Newport, Emma heads over to Granny’s for her morning coffee. She’s already received a call from a little old lady complaining that someone keeps stealing her lawn gnomes and is planning to get the coffee to-go when instead, to her great delight, Henry is at one of the little tables. He’s seated by himself, a half-eaten plate of waffles to his left and his storybook propped open to his right.

“Emma!” he exclaims, eagerly waving her over.

It only takes a fraction of a second for Emma to decide that the old woman can wait. “Hey, kid,” she says, sitting down opposite him. “You here on your own?”

He nods. “My mom had to go to work early this morning. Granny’s watching me until my bus gets here.”

Ruby swings past, pouring Emma a cup of coffee before flitting away with hardly a word to her. Granny’s diner is busy this morning, people at every table, a line forming out the door. There’s a cold chill to the air from a storm that drifted in from the Atlantic last night, wafting in every time the door opens again. It seems everyone in Storybrooke is out searching for a hot beverage to warm them up in its wake, and the line had made her hesitate about getting the coffee at all, but now, seated with Henry, she’s glad she didn’t just keep on walking.

“So, what’s the story today?” Emma asks, sipping from her mug and peering down at the book. It’s upside down to her, but it looks like a scene in a dark, stony castle. A figure, features obscured by a black cloak, is exchanging blows with two guards Emma recognizes from other tales as the Evil Queen’s Black Knights.

Henry shrugs, and flips the book shut. “Just doing some fact checking.”

Emma looks at him, torn between amusement and concern, but simply nods at his serious expression. “Okay.”

He leans closer to her over the table and says, in a low voice, “Too many people here for Operation Cobra talk. My mom’s got spies everywhere.”

Emma nods seriously, and takes another drink of her coffee. Of course, she does.

The conversation turns to Henry telling her about his day at school yesterday. She nods along, thinking carefully for the right words to respond with when its her turn to speak. She always finds it a bit challenging to know what to say to Henry, always hovering on the edge of uncomfortable unfamiliarity that comes with each interaction with him. She never thought she’d be seated across from the child she felt growing within her for nine long, lonely months, the child she gave up and never expected to see again, and now here she is ... and she never knows quite what to say.

But at the same time, that unfamiliarity and uncertainty appears to be lessening with each and every moment she spends with him, the words come easier and easier; Emma’s not sure if she feels comforted or terrified by that just yet.

He’s talking about his classes, chattering excitedly about the recent English project. It is clear Henry shines in his English classes, and Mary Margaret has even commented on his proficiency in it. Emma feels a small bubble of pride grow in her chest, hearing him talk so proudly about his recent book report that earned top marks, and she asks, “Is English your favourite subject?”

He nods eagerly. “Yeah, for sure. What was your favourite in school?”

Emma opens her mouth, but then closes it again. It had been pretty hard for her to really focus on school when she’d been younger, having been uprooted and moved between schools as she shuffled from one foster family to the other. She’d tried her hardest, striving to do as good as she possibly could, but still. It had been tough.

“I guess my favourite was science,” she says, finally. When she had stayed in once place long enough to actually get invested in her classes, she’d always loved learning anything science-related and she’d especially excelled at human biology. If things had been different, she might have even considered going into a career in that field. She’d daydreamed about being a doctor one day: treating people, helping people, saving people. “Yeah, science.”

But Henry clearly doesn’t share her fondness for the subject: he makes a face at the mere mention of the word science.

“Science is hard,” he says, and his voice rings with dejection.

Emma’s heart sinks a little at his expression. “What do you find hard about it?”

“I don’t know. It’s just … complicated.”

Emma hesitates, the feeling of unfamiliar territory once more flushing over her, but she swallows it down. “Uh – do you need any help with it?”

He glances up at her, looking taken aback. “Really?”

Emma almost backs out of her offer, but she swallows back the fear of the unknown with a quick nod and smile. Henry returns her smile and immediately pulls out a bright green binder from the backpack beside him. He flips it open, undoing the rings, and hands Emma the worksheet. The current unit appears to be basic geology, mostly on ways to differentiate between different types of rocks and minerals. Emma feels like she hasn’t looked at this stuff in a thousand years, but she just smiles positively back at Henry. “Okay, kid. Let’s go through this together, yeah? Tell me about the different types of characteristics of rocks and minerals.”

They continue on for several minutes. Henry is tentative at first with his answers, but grows more confident as they work at it; by the time Emma has moved on from the general characteristics to the specifics of each identifier, Henry is much more assured in his answers. She is quizzing him on the Mohs hardness scale when Granny bustles up to their table, looking frazzled and at her wits’ end.

“Henry, it’s almost 8:15; your bus will be here soon, but I’ve got this huge order for the sailing guys that I need to get to them before they pack up and leave –”

“I’ll walk him out,” Emma volunteers immediately. “You get back to work.”

Granny shoots her a grateful look. “Thanks, Emma. Coffee’s on the house.”  

Henry stuffs his school stuff away, while Emma rises and swipes a paper coffee cup from the edge of the counter, pouring her half-full mug into it. They head out the main doors together, and it is perfect timing too, as the old, rattling school bus is just creaking to a stop down the road as they exit.

Henry yelps and takes off running, backpack nearly flapping up and over his head.

“Oh, okay, bye!” Emma calls as he swivels around the corner of the fence. She jogs forward to watch him take the last few steps towards the bus, and adds, “Have a good day at school!”

“Thanks! Bye, Emma!”

For a single, wild moment that seems to last an eternity, watching Henry clamber aboard, waving merrily at her as he steps on, she imagines this is an ordinary day. An everyday routine. Having breakfast while she helps her son with his homework, and walking him to the bus. Such normal things that she’d never even imagined doing with that small little baby she’d given up so many years ago.

Thoughts of the ‘big things’ had crept into her mind through the years, no matter how hard she’d tried to harden her heart against it. She’d spent countless hours wondering what his first words were, when he would have started walking, what he wore to his first day at school, whether he was nervous or excited or both. But stuff like this? Something so normal? She’d never even given it a thought.

If things had been different, she’d –

She clenches her jaw and stops the thought in its track. No use wondering about that, she thinks firmly, steeling herself against the tightness in her heart as the bus pulls away from the curb, Henry waving from the window.

There’s no way to change what really happened, what her life really is.

And she has to live with that.

Emma stares after the bus until it disappears around the corner, lost in her thoughts. She’s so distracted she doesn’t even notice when someone speaks right beside her.

“Alright there, Swan?”

She jumps, swiveling around to see Wes Newport standing there. He’s dressed in a black pea coat today, the collar popped rather dramatically in a way that makes his appearance even more striking than the first time she’d met him.

“Oh,” Emma says, hoping her voice doesn’t reveal that she was getting emotional over a goddamn school bus. “I’m fine, I just – um – what are you doing here?”

He gestures to Granny’s behind them. “I was going to get a coffee and some breakfast, but the queue inside is just ridiculous. I’ll have to suffer that old machine we have at town hall instead.” His tone is light and jovial, and Emma feels a strange rush of relief that he seems to have no intention of turning the conversation back around on why she was staring longingly after a school bus.

She makes sure of it, saying, “Yeah, it’s super busy in there today. And, uh, not to put any pressure on you just yet, but speaking of town hall … have you talked to Regina yet about my budget?”

“I haven’t,” he confesses. “Friday was full of meetings, and she was already in a foul mood by the time I ran into her at the end of the afternoon. I figured I’d let her cool down over the weekend, and ask her today. I’m just heading into the office right now, actually.” He looks up to the dark, gloomy sky, and frowns. “Hopefully the rain will hold off until I get there.”

Emma raises an eyebrow; town hall is across town, at least a twenty-minute walk. “You’re walking all that way?”

He nods, and his eyes drift out across the street, towards the harbour and the waters of the ocean, turned choppy and grey by the cool weather. “I like walking along the boardwalk.” But then he frowns again. “Although, I’ve left it a little late this morning. Another reason to forgo the coffee, I suppose.”

He waves in departure, heading towards the boardwalk. Emma hesitates for a moment; the address of the little old lady and her lawn gnomes is just across from town hall, and before she can talk herself out of it, calls after him, “I could give you a ride.”

He pauses, turning back to face her, brows rising in surprise. “To town hall? Isn’t that out of your way?”

“I’ve got a call on Apple Avenue to get to, and town hall is right there.”

He looks taken aback for another moment, but then smiles. “That would be great. Thanks.”

Emma leads Newport to her little yellow Bug. Though he is perfectly polite the entire way over to her car, which is still parked a couple blocks down near the loft, and her lie detector doesn’t go off once in their entire conversation, but she can’t help her feeling of distrust and suspicion. Henry’s words of caution still niggling in the back of her mind don’t help either, nor Mary Margaret’s assertion of his nasty relationship with Mr. Gold. She may not believe he’s the living and breathing version of Captain Hook (especially with how he looks; has Henry ever even seen that Disney movie? Young and handsome and with no twirly mustache doesn’t exactly fit the bill of Captain Hook in her mind) but the allies with Regina bit? That’s an actual possibility.

She kind of feels like an idiot for offering him a ride – he is a stranger and one that works for Regina at that – but she figures that in spending a bit more time with him, even if it is only the fifteen or so minute drive, she can get to know him a little bit better and decide whether he’s just another of Regina’s pawns or not. And honestly, she tells herself firmly, she’s just being neighbourly, offering a man a ride so he doesn’t get rained on before the day has even begun. It also doesn’t hurt, she rationalizes again as they turn the final corner to her car, that this particular man is in charge of her department’s budget and endearing herself to him is probably something she should be doing anyways.

When they reach Emma’s car, Newport makes a comment about how its bright colour lights up the streets of Storybrooke, especially on a gloomy day such as this, and it sends an unexpected thrill of delight through Emma.

Okay, so maybe this won’t be too bad.

He tells her about last year’s sailing races as they drive by the harbour, where at least a dozen sailboats are berthed, thick, white sails billowing in the cold Atlantic wind as their sailors work tirelessly to reel them in safely. Emma feels a heavy pang looking at the boats, remembering a particular time when she’d watched similar races in the warm ocean in a small town just outside Tallahassee, waiting and waiting for a man who never showed up. She chances a glance at Newport, hoping he hasn’t noticed that she’s gripping the steering wheel tighter than normal, but he is completely preoccupied, gazing out at the sailboats as if he wished nothing more to be out there himself.

Emma remembers him mentioning that he’d lost his hand during a sailing accident, and feels a twinge of empathy for him. She’s never known quite what to say to someone else who has suffered a tragedy, even though she’s sure she’s one of the world’s leading experts. Talking about anyone else’s personal disasters tends to bring up her own, and those are raw wounds she’s never healed from.

Instead, she settles on a much more neutral topic, or at least attempts to. “You still sail?”

He turns back to her as they round the corner, the harbour and sailboats disappearing behind them, his eyes darker and shuttered. “No. I haven’t in many years.”

Even though she’d angled for ‘no tragedy-talk’, there is a hollow, painful wistfulness in his tone, and they descend into silence for several minutes. Her own thoughts have drifted back into the past in their silence, as she’s sure Newport has too. But, a few minutes he starts chattering again as if nothing had happened, pointing out Frediano’s Gelato, a small ice cream parlor run by a father and his daughter as Emma turns down another avenue. When Emma admits she hasn’t been there yet, he places a hand across his heart as if he is personally offended.

“They have the best spiced pear gelato I’ve ever tasted,” he says, as the car rumbles past. “You wouldn’t even think that would taste good as an ice cream, but it does. They also have one where they mix rum in with cinnamon and chocolate with a sprinkle of sea salt, and trust me, Swan, that is something you have to try. I’ve never tasted anything like it.”

“Rum,” Emma repeats, laughing. “Rum and ice cream?”

“You think it would be bad, Swan, but it isn’t. It tastes more like cinnamon and chocolate than anything, but the rum adds a little kick.”

“I’ll say,” she says, shaking her head with a chuckle. “I guess I’ll have to add the gelato shop to my rounds when I’m checking for drunk drivers.”

He laughs again. “How about you? What’s your favourite ice cream?”

“Rocky road,” Emma says automatically. “Henry’s favourite place is Any Given Sundae, right near Granny’s. Have you ever tried that place?”

He nods, and they continue exchanging favourite spots for the rest of the drive. Emma hasn’t been in Storybrooke long enough to have tried everywhere, and she’s surprisingly interested to hear about Wes’s preferred places. His favourite fish and chips place is a family owned establishment on the main street called Dave’s Fish and Chips, and he scolds her for not having gotten fish and chips yet – “You live in a seaside town, Swan!” – and he loves the Italian place simply called Tony’s Restaurant across from the Storybrooke cannery, which has Emma joking about The Lady & The Tramp. Internally, she’s rolling her eyes – leave it to Storybrooke, fairy tale capital of the world according to Henry, to have a restaurant literally named after an iconic Disney scene.

They lapse into a companionable silence for the last few minutes of the drive, and when Emma pulls to a stop in front of the bright yellow town hall and Newport gathers his briefcase from the floor, a strange sense of disappointment that the drive is over settles onto her.

“Thanks for the ride, Swan,” he says, propping the door open. “I really do appreciate it.”

“No problem.”

He turns to her before he hops out, shaking his head. “I forgot to ask – have you made that list of points for the budget that I can give Regina yet?”

She nods. “It’s at the station though.”

“That’s okay. I’ll try to see if I can convince Regina without them, but if not, I’ll swing by tomorrow morning and fetch them.”

Emma almost points out she could fax him a copy, but Newport is gone before she gets the chance. She watches as he jogs up to the doors and disappears within with another wave of departure.

After a morning filled with meetings and a late lunch date with some new property developers, Regina has been steadily at work for at least an hour and half when a knock on her door interrupts her pace.

“Come in,” she calls, not bothering to keep the irritation from her tone.

The door opens, revealing Wes Newport, briefcase in hand. He’s frowning and looks apprehensive, an unusual expression for him. He’s usually coolly confident, the glimmer of his former life still showing through, and this trepidation intrigues her.

“Wes,” she greets, beckoning him in, pushing the pages of work aside. “How are those tax forms coming along?”

“Fine,” he replies, closing the door firmly behind him, the latch loud in her wide, echoing office. “I’ll have them done by tomorrow afternoon at the latest.” He pauses, lifting his fake hand and scratching absently behind the back of his ear. “I actually came to discuss something else with you, Madam Mayor.”

Her mouth curls into a frown, not liking the tone to his voice. “By all means,” she says, and gestures to the empty seat in front of her desk. “Take a seat.”

He remains standing, bending down to set his briefcase down at his feet, and clasps his hands in front of him, his real one fiddling anxiously with the glove covering his prosthetic. He appears to be having some sort of internal struggle – a side effect of his life here – and he nearly stumbles over his words as he finally spits out, “I informed Sheriff Swan about the budget cuts, and she wasn’t happy.”

Regina’s lips thin into a grimace. Here it is. She’d known this was coming, sooner or later, as it always is these days. Sending Emma Swan out of the town limits with the woodcutter’s two brats had failed, and this subtler approach of telling her she wasn’t wanted in town had been her next gamble on getting the woman to leave Storybrooke. It had been just that – a gamble, and she’s not surprised that Emma would fight back.

“Oh?” she says, the single word slipping out in a hiss.

Newport narrows his eyes at her, and his voice is sharper as he says, “I did mention how this would create problems when you first brought up the idea, and I still stand by my thoughts. There is simply not enough money allotted to the sheriff’s department and Em-Sheriff Swan agrees with me. She’s put together some points as to why she thinks it needs restoring, and I’ll have that to you by tomorrow, but I wanted to see if there was any need for that. I still believe a respectable budget for her is of more use to the town than some of the other allocations. It’s not too late for me to make some changes without the sheriff having to come in at all.”

Regina leans back in her chair, surveying Newport, her eyes narrowed. She’d expected Emma to put up a fight, yes, but she hadn’t thought her treasurer would be on Emma’s side.

When she’d cast the curse, she’d kept Captain Hook close to her for the simple reason that he is useful. He had been the only one to succeed where all others had failed: killing her mother in Wonderland where Cora had taken up shop. And even though he was almost entirely focused on his vain search for vengeance, his soul darkened by the impossible task, it hadn’t dampened his resourcefulness - a perfect trait in an ally.

True, he had been of questionable loyalty in their old land, serving only himself and his own demented end; that had been the first thing she’d changed that when casting the curse, redirecting his devotion to the memory of his dead lover into obedience and allegiance to her. His fake memories provide him with a good enough reason for the loyalty, and sure, that irritating honourable streak she’d never even known him to have hasn’t been suffocated out entirely – he still likes to disagree with anything he finds to be ‘bad form’ – but in the end, he always bows to her requests.

But not, apparently, anymore.

Newport is waiting patiently for her to respond, watching her closely as trying to read her mind. She smiles coolly at him, and says, “And where do you think the money will come from? You yourself said at the last meeting that the budget is stretched thin.”

“It is,” he agrees, picking the briefcase up to just set it down on her desk, popping it open to rifle through the papers within, and she glares at him, which he ignores. “But it can still do with some reshuffling. I’ve already drawn up some plans for it, here –”

She snatches it from his grip, nearly ripping the page in half. It’s perfectly balanced in the way he wants it - a couple of local events, especially the bi-monthly Seaside Market, have suffered the worst cuts in order to restore a nearly full budget to the sheriff’s department. And, true enough, it is much more manageable and reasonable than what she had requested at the last meeting. More equally balanced and fair across the board.

Regina hates it.

But Regina is learning from her mistakes when it comes to Emma Swan. She has to be delicate. Cutting the department’s budget was another mistake, fueling Emma’s fire instead of quenching it. And, if Emma has already been able to manipulate Newport into fighting for her on this issue, Regina knows that pushing back against it will only cause more trouble for her with her never-ending Emma Swan Problem.

Time to cut my losses, she thinks grimly and hands the papers back to Newport. “Fine.”

His mouth drops open in shock. He begins to say an enthusiastic thank you, but she holds up a hand for silence, and he shuts his mouth instantly.

There is still something to be gained from this. First Graham and Henry, and now Newport. With apparently little to no effort, Emma Swan is able to twist the people around Regina into being hers instead. With Graham, it had escalated too far without her knowledge, and she has no intention of letting that happen this time.

Newport is her treasurer.

“It’s up to her, not you. If Ms. Swan can make a case for herself, I’ll consider it.” She glances at her watch. “Tell her to come in for three o’clock.”

Newport quickly agrees, gathering his things and departing under the space of ten seconds. Regina waits a few moments, listening to his footsteps fade before pulling out her own phone and dialing.

“There is something I want your opinion on,” she says once the line has been picked up on the other end. “Be here at ten after three and not a moment later.” And before she even receives a response, she disconnects the call.

Note: I thought I'd explain the references for Killian's cursed name too, in case some of you are wondering. I think some of you got the reference of Wes, which is after Westley from The Princess Bride. Newport is more of a niche reference; there was a real English captain named Christopher Newport who is believed to be one of the inspirations for J.M. Barrie's Captain Hook. He reportedly lost a hand in a battle and replaced it with a hook, and there's even accounts of him presenting crocodiles to the king of England at the time!

[twicetolivetwicetodie]

4x22 “Think Fast”

Wow. What an episode. Let’s dig into it. 

That opening scene was insane. It was yet another instance highlighting just how terrifying DeVoe is. He singlehandedly took out an ARGUS facility, murdered almost everyone in it. I think that ARGUS scientist was the only survivor? I am still shook that he turned the ARGUS agents he had already killed into zombies and had them kill their coworkers. All while listening to Handel’s “Hallelujah”. The soundtrack made the scene even more chilling. I am super offended that he used Diggle’s face to get into ARGUS. You leave him out of this, DeVove! 

The Harry and Iris scenes were an absolute delight. I can’t get enough of them. That is a relationship I didn’t know I needed to see. It also seems like they’ve switched roles in a way? Iris was more interested in the facts of the situation and taking actions and Harry was thinking more on the emotional side of things. It was a very interesting role reversal that worked really well. It broke my heart to hear Harry say that he didn’t feel useful anymore. But Iris’s compassion and understanding of people, and her including Harry in her search for Marlize, helped him realize, and reiterating what Cecile has said to him before “There is more than one way to be intelligent.” 

Iris’s anger over Marlize. I was right there with her! Yes, Iris technically stabbed herself, but I still view it as Marlize stabbing her, as she wouldn’t have been put in that situation in the first place had Marlize not cornered her with a katana. That wasn’t the main issue though, not even close. Marlize helped ruin Barry’s life in more ways than one, put him in prison which led to him losing his job. That is not something that is easy to forgive. So even though Harry had good intentions when he was trying to view things from Marlize’s point of view, I completely understand Iris’s anger with him at that moment. Her confrontation with Marlize was so good. Calling her out on her role in this and her current indifference to the Enlightenment. And this line “Pessimism isn’t smarter than optimism. In this life, the bravest thing you can be is optimistic.” I just...wow. I just really love that line. I love the parallels between Iris and Barry here, because the both of them together can inspire people to be and do better, and Iris really exemplified that in this episode. 

The Killer Frost development was an interesting one to say the least. I’m glad Caitlin finally went to therapy to discuss what’s going on with her. They should honestly have Dr. Finkle sign an NDA and hire her full time at this point. The diagnosis of Dissociative Identity Disorder. This doesn’t surprise me, as it lines up with what we’ve seen in the past with Frost and Caitlin. Though this is an unfortunate trope in comic mediums I find? @barryandiriswest-allen posted about this, and how DID is very rare, but it seems to be fairly common in comic book mediums, I can name at least four Marvel characters with DID: Bruce Banner (Hulk), Marc Spector (Moon Knight), David Haller (Legion), and Mary Walker (Typhoid Mary), and I’m pretty sure there’s more. It was interesting how we got to hear Caitlin talk about her dad as she rarely mentions him so I’m curious as to how many memories of her father she’s suppressing. The childhood memory that we saw suggested that Killer Frost first appeared after what I’m assuming to be a response to her almost getting hit by a car as a child. I think that was her father’s voice in the flashback? They talked about how it was impossible that KF appeared before the particle accelerator explosion. Which isn’t true. We have seen metas whose powers have emerged in response to other events, it just hasn’t been that common as far as we know. Plus I imagine we will get more into the metagene next season with Dawn’s arrival. Barry and Iris will want to know if their children will inherit Barry’s speed. I was talking to @trashgaryen about this, and I kinda came up with a theory. Caitlin doesn’t talk about her father much. All she says is that he died of ALS and that he was a great dad, but she doesn’t really tell us many memories of him. What if Caitlin’s powers onset early, possibly as a result of the traumatic event of her almost getting hit by the car, and she accidentally killed her father? Maybe her mother covered it up to protect her. Possibly why her mom has a career in cryogenics? Not that I think any of this will actually pan out to be true, I’m just spitballing theories here. 

Barry and Cisco’s scenes were so important and emotional. I have missed them being bros and now they are finally opening up to each other, it was so good. I understand both Barry and Cisco’s side of the argument. Barry doesn’t want anyone else to die because of him. “Losing my two best friends? That’s the end of my world.” I don’t blame him for feeling that way at all. At this point, he blames himself for the deaths of twelve people. The look on his face when it was determined that they couldn’t save Fallout was heartbreaking. But Cisco’s argument was 100% correct. He can’t do this alone. Especially in that frame of mind. It broke my heart to hear, and I honestly expected this, that Cisco also blames himself for the deaths of the bus metas. But he’s been suppressing it for so long probably for the same reasons that Barry has been suppressing his feelings. There are two things that Barry said that are sticking with me. The first “I don’t need another therapist.” Ow? Is Barry ashamed that he has to see a therapist? And that he feels like he pushed Ralph too hard cause he wasn’t there. Now I read that as Barry blaming himself for being in prison, so yeah there are definitely more emotions he’s suppressing there. Barrisco angst. But it was needed and good Barrisco angst. Barry needed that reminder that he is not the only one to blame, and that he isn’t and never has been in this alone. Ugh the fact that Cisco blames himself for everything that has happened with DeVoe, that he might view it as him being selfish for wanting Barry back, and maybe he thinks he’s at fault for putting the city in danger for getting Barry out of the Speed Force? How much does Cisco blame himself for? He’s been suppressing this the entire time cause he’s worried about everyone else. That really parallels Barry and Cisco’s emotional arcs currently. Shelving their own emotional problems cause they consider the well being of others more important than their own psychological well-being. Ow that hurts.

Joe and Cecile’s scenes were really cute and endearing. It is really fascinating that Cecile’s powers have expanded now that she’s close to her due date. Her jumping into people’s minds and exhibiting other people’s personality traits was really funny. Joe being so worried about the baby! Oh my heart. His concerns are entirely valid though, what if supervillains attack the hospital while she’s giving birth and he has to protect them? If she goes into labor in the finale, which I’m expecting, he was right to be worried about it. 

I was starting to get really anxious towards the end there, especially after Barry destroyed the satellite and DeVoe didn’t seem all that concerned by it. I knew he had a backup plan. I was furious when he broke into the Time Vault and hijacked Time Vault Gideon. No one fucks with Gideon, you asshole! Barry’s face once he realized that DeVoe had won absolutely ruined me. 

So I definitely think all of this is going to lead into an anti-meta arc. This episode alone reaffirmed that for me. DeVoe breaks into a hi-tech ARGUS facility disguised as a respected ARGUS agent and easily dismantles their meta dampeners. He slaughters almost the entire facility, and takes hostages. It was particularly significant for me that even after Cisco reassured the ARGUS scientist that DeVoe was taken care of, she didn’t seem to trust him. DeVoe then uses STAR Labs satellites to replace the one Barry destroyed. That, in addition to the citywide panic that appears to be happening in the promo, that may result in civilian casualties, may cause the mayor to say “Enough is enough.” and draft anti-meta legislation. STAR will be hated again, though even though it wasn’t their fault, DeVoe still used their tech to kickstart the Enlightenment. 

Even though the finale will definitely cause my heart to race and probably traumatize everyone on Team Flash, I am ready for the happy part of the episode when Dawn reveals herself! 

[paradiselostbythedashboardlight]

So in honor of me finally rewatching The Last Jedi, I thought it might be fun to do a little retrospective and also rewatch the Force Awakens just to see how they flow together etc. Here is a rambling list of my thoughts

The Force Awakens rewatch:

1. It really has to be said, but Finn objectively has a much better part in this movie. He’s so funny and so charming and so relatable. But one of the things I think fan fiction made me mentally edit out was that he really is a super reluctant hero! Like, he legitimately never has any interest in joining the Resistance, most of the help he gives to them is motivated by quid pro quo for helping rescue Rey. Basically, I think this sets up his TLJ plot line a lot better than I had initially thought, because Finn is super uncommitted to the cause.

2. Finn and Rey are a fucking delight. One thing that this movie does so well is keeping them almost constantly in peril and they are just electric when they’re bouncing back and forth off of one another. Also I’d kinda forgotten (again, the perils of fan characterization) but Rey is actually very prickly to everyone at first and seeing her warming up to Finn and eventually even hugging him when he inadvertently does the most powerful thing he could (coming back for her) is absolutely precious. I ship them hard. And yes romantically, but I also feel like I won’t be mad if it doesn’t end romantically in the movies as long as they still are the most important people in each other’s lives. 

3. Rey is also pretty unnerved by her Jedi powers and I think that subtly sets up a lot of her reactions to Luke’s training. She really is trying to play it like she knows what to expect and she’s ready to be trained, but she’s basically just putting on a brave face when her powers actually really confuse and overwhelm her in TFA. Also I TOTALLY forgot Kylo Ren being a weirdly elitist dick the whole time about her like “what? some girl? some rando scrapper???” like calm down there is meritocracy in this universe. 

4. There are a lot of good jokes, to whoever says that Star Wars shouldn’t be goofy and have a lot of tension ruining humor, I raise you the scene where Finn is trying to put a bandage on Chewbacca and BB-8 hears him roaring and literally screams and runs away. Also Harrison Ford having the best two lines of his career essentially back to back with “that’s not how the Force works!” and then immediately “what do you mean you’re cold???” 

5. I know he doesn’t have a lot to do in the second half of the movie, but the pure gleeful joy I feel when Poe is shooting down TIE fighters and there’s this huge pan shot and Finn goes “THAT’S ONE HELL OF A PILOT” will rectify any sins. 

6. Seriously note, but this also gave me a better sense of how Leia’s storyline was meant to progress. She’s the one who has hope in TFA that her son can be redeemed and not just that, he can be brought home and everything will be fine. It takes Han’s death and all of the events of TLJ before she is finally ready to admit to Luke that her son his gone and he can never come back. I think by the time I saw TLJ I’d forgotten just how wildly hopeful she was and how crushing it is to see her abandon that. 

7. Additionally, Kylo Ren is super fucking creepy in this movie. Like, I think again that the fan culture has made me forget that, but he’s legit terrifying. And that’s great, I really like how scary he is and he’s a great villain. But one thing I noticed is that everyone sorta portrays him like this super emotionally volatile explosive screaming guy, but he actually spends the majority of TFA speaking in a very creepy flat monotone. Essentially the only hints of anger you ever get are in his violent actions, but his voice is always calm. It’s only at the end when you see him really come apart at the seams and start screaming at people. Anyways, I think that was very telling for how accurate Snoke really is when he says that killing Han kinda made him snap. ALSO DAMN THE SOUND EDITING OF THE FORCE INTERROGATIONS IS GREAT. 

8. Rey’s theme fucking goes. That’s all I have to say, it’s dope. 

9. The stormtrooper screaming TRAITOR is exactly as funny as I remember it being.  

10. Hux is a lot more... competent here? Or at least, he’s not a cartoon character. I don’t really feel strongly that one or the other is better though because I got enjoyment out of both. 

11. This movie is a lot more of a World movie than a plot movie. I don’t know how else to put it. I think that’s why some love it and some felt cold while feeling completely differently about TLJ. But this movie is trying to get you hype for the world of Star Wars whereas TLJ is really focusing in on a particular plot and thus narrows scope and focus a lot. 

The Last Jedi rewatch:

1. So switching from one movie to the other rapidly, I definitely felt a bit of tone whiplash at the beginning. Particularly the Poe and Hux dialogue is just super goofy and Hux’s face is making really campy expressions the whole time. But as I continued, I think I realized that actually the tone of this movie isn’t that much sillier. Yes it has porgs (and you can pry them away from my cold dead hands) but the majority of the scenes are actually pretty grim. Overall, this movie has a lot more death and destruction. No one but Han really dies in TFA and we barely notice when the Resistance loses a ship. The tone of this movie is actually pretty bleak for the most part, which is why I think the humorous sections seem more jarring. 

2. Canto Bight. Ah Canto Bight. The part no one likes. It bothers me less with each rewatch because I can see how it sets up so much thematic material that I really do like. For example, DJ is a great foil to Finn in that he is pretty much what Finn could have become if he’d continued on his path from The Force Awakens without Rey. Disillusioned with both sides, motivated only by survival, no hope in something better. Also I really think it does give you complexity that TFA lacks with its pretty vague description of what exactly the Resistance is and what is happening in the galaxy. 

3. You know actually, I think the reason people don’t like the Canto Bight sequence is because it’s basically the prequels! Hear me out: full of wacky aliens, showing the rich and powerful part of the galaxy not the gritty part, moral ambiguity for the good guys, dialogue is HIGH camp (”this lousy beautiful town” lol Rose plz no), CGI chase scenes. There is even a small boy yelling “woohoo!” at a race. It is the prequels. 

4. I still love Luke’s plot and I don’t see how it could have gone any differently and still worked. There is literally no better reason for Luke to have randomly gone away to enjoy #islandlife alone when the Resistance needs him. Like... The Force Awakens sets up that he’s disappeared mysteriously and even Leia can’t find him with the Force so you’re expecting something bad.

5. Rey’s parents. I realized this time that she never actually clarifies in TFA whether she knows her family or not. So it does actually make sense that she remembers them from being like a 5 year old, felt horribly abandoned when they sold her, and hangs on to this naive belief they probably gave her about returning one day to save her. She’s not really searching for their identity so much as their whereabouts. 

6. I know this is controversial, but Poe really does have a better plot line in this movie. I’m sorry, but he doesn’t really even have a storyline in TFA, he’s just like... a chill guy they meet. You don’t have to like the storyline, but you should admit that it is nice that he got one this time. I also noticed some really nice details/transitions where his dialogue mirrors Leia so it’s really clear that this is all a setup to him assuming command of the Resistance. 

7. So... right... I don’t want to delay this any longer, but this movie does have some... awkwardness. The random scene with Maz. How coincidental it is that they find DJ. Holdo holding the idiot ball a little and being randomly suspicious around Poe. It isn’t quite elegant with its plot, but I do respect that it is due to the fact that the movie is trying to convey a much more complicated series of events. And TFA isn’t without some of these contrived moments, it just covers them a little better (I’m looking at you Rathtars and jumping to light speed whenever Han damn well pleases and Phasma in the trash compactor).

8. Kylo Ren is like way crazier in this one, but much less frightening. In fact, I noticed that while I previously mentioned this movie is way darker and more upsetting, the villains are actually much less scary. Snoke is like... super not scary. Hux is a loony toon now. Kylo Ren is somewhere between sympathetic character and petulant walking tantrum. I think that serves to put the focus of the story less on defeating some evil guy, and more on the evils of systems and organizations. The threat isn’t a guy with a mask or a gross face in this movie, it’s the endless consumption of war that ultimately makes human life meaningless. I like the message, but I also like scary guys in capes so... conflicted. 

9. I’ve watched this movie three damn times now and I still can’t tell if I like Rose because she’s a good character or if Kelly Marie Tran is just That Charming. 

10. I still really like this movie and whenever something doubtful happens, the movie immediately follows it up with something so mind bogglingly awesome you can’t even think about it anymore. The highs are high even if the lows are more obvious. 

11. They should have fucking kept that Phasma deleted ending. 

[beckytext]

Okay, so we’re doing this.

The Mary Sue discussion is happening on Twitter again. I don’t know what set it off (this was the first tweet I saw about it; here is my own thread). The points I have made in short are:

1: I think it’s a good thing that teenage girls are imagining stories where they are the awesome center of action;

2: I don’t care if the quality of those stories is bad, because most of the people writing them are still learning to write, and anyway, bad stories on the internet hurt no one;

3: “Mary Sue” is a super gendered, sexist insult that has nothing to do with actually critiquing characters and is instead a way of policing teenage girls, women, and the characters they write.

So to get into it a bit, here is the story of How I Realized Mary Sue Critiques Are Total Bullshit. 

So some history: when I was in sixth grade, Sailor Moon aired in the US for the first time. Needless to say, I loved it, and it had an enormous impact on me. A couple of years later -- somewhere around 1997, seventh or eighth grade -- my family got AOL. Somehow, early on, I stumbled onto the Cartoon Network message boards and discovered other people who loved Sailor Moon, and from there, found mailing lists of yet more likeminded fans. One of those mailing lists held a Sailor Moon fanfiction contest.

(Hey, this got long, so the rest of it is -- as we used to say in the LJ Days of Yore -- behind the cut.)

The thing was, I’d been writing fanfiction in my head for as long as I could remember -- but I didn’t know that was the kind of thing that people actually wrote down. So I did, and my terrible story got an honorable mention, and I was hooked. I spent the next few years of my life living in fandom, creating OCs and spinning epic stories and making friends with other people who did the same. It was awesome.

But the one cloud that hung over it was this attitude I kept running into that all original Sailor Scout characters were Mary Sues -- especially if they were Sailor Earth characters (which, uh, mine was). And not one but several communities sprang up to mock those characters. The characters were written by earnest girls like me, who wanted to be part of the show we loved, to have fun imagining ourselves that way, and to share those stories with other people who were also having fun that way.

Those communities were... well, terrifying. Some mocked line by line, MST3K style; some linked to character profiles with mean commentary. Sometimes they were clever! But mostly they were just kind of nasty. And they all came with lists of rules about what did or didn’t make for Mary Sues. You were never allowed to have a character who was: too powerful, too confident, had a weird hair color (even though canon characters had blue and green hair?!), was named after you, used Earth powers, used star powers, was best friends with any characters on the show, was romantically linked to any characters from the show, could sing well or was otherwise talented, was too clumsy, was too smart, etc, etc, etc. And oh yeah, She Had To Be Flawed.

Viewed in a charitable light, I can understand it. The basic gist of “these are cliches, avoid them” is not a terrible thing. But I was 13, 14, 15 and just starting to share my writing, and that advice was not shared in empathetic ways, and there was not yet much backlash advice of “actually, most writing advice is bullshit, do what you want.” (Which I think we do see more of now, which is a good thing.) I took it seriously. So did my friends. So yes, we worried a lot about Doing It Wrong, which meant that instead of being able to go wild with our imaginations and write the stories that delighted us, we were shrinking into what was acceptable. Trying to write within parameters that other people had set for us, trying not to cross any boundaries into what was Bad and Mockable, treating someone’s kind of mean rules as gospel. (There were literal quizzes you could take, with ticky boxes, to test if your character was a Mary Sue -- score too high on it and you’d better Give Her Some Flaws!)

Okay, so, fast forward a couple of years. One of the best things fandom gave me was contact with other writers my own age, who, like me, were writing both fanfic and original fiction, who had daydreams of being published someday. We shared those stories, too. And because we were young and just learning (hey, did you know it’s okay to be just learning how to do something?!) a lot of them were pretty bad. But we supported each other, and that was the first taste I had of other people reading and enjoying my writing. It was awesome.

But the scourge of Mary Sue Mocking had spread. It wasn’t ever really just Sailor Moon fandom, but the who idea had expanded. Every fandom had its own variety of Mary Sue test, and yes, people began looking at original fiction as well. (And this was well before the days of “Batman is Mary Sue!” counter arguments. Is it clear yet that I am an Old?)

So I’d known for awhile that I felt kind of ooky about the Mary Sue mockery. I’d grown out of Sailor Moon fandom, and into and out of a few others, all of which had their own patterns of Mary Sues (and mockery there of). I was just... increasingly uncomfortable with it. And then one day I ran across another litmus test of the ticky box variety. It was for characters in original fiction.

I thought about my sprawling fantasy epic, the one I’d been sharing online for a few years, the one I had a few friends who’d drawn art for. The one with pretty half-angel boys and angry warrior girls. The one I’d been pouring my heart and soul into. 

Nervously, I took the quiz.

Hooooo boy, was my awesome female OC a Mary Sue. (I just did some googling; I’m not positive but I think this may have been the one I took.) Here are some examples of questions my character “failed” by answering yes:

5. Is your character a teenager?

6. Does your character have a tragic past?

17. Is your character the sole surviving member of some great tragedy, genocide, or the last of a house or species?

23. Was your character adopted, orphaned, a runaway, stolen at birth or in any other way raised by someone who is not the character's own parents.

31. Is your character any sort of nobility or royalty?

33. Does your character have strangely coloured hair, or hair that changes throughout the story? 

35. Are there prophesies about your character? And okay, I’m not going to claim my teenage fantasy epic was a brilliant feat of characterization. I wrote it from roughly ages 16-20; it was a mess. But it wasn’t a mess because my protagonist had survived a massacre of her home as a child and was raised by her grandfather, and also turned out to secretly be a long-lost princess. It was a mess because, you know, I was still learning to write.

And all of those things I ticked off on the quiz? They were staples of the fantasy genre. Because I was writing a fantasy story. And the character ticked off all those boxes because she was the protagonist. It was her story, so of course she was the character of legend; of course she was the survivor of tragedy; of course she was the long-lost princess. The story wasn’t warped around her to make her super special. The story was built around her, because protagonists are supposed to be super special. 

(Yes, even “everyman” protagonists. I mean, which is more reality warping -- the idea that a character who survived a tragedy and was raised to be a warrior ended up leading armies against the oppressors who’d murdered her parents, or the idea that a bland normal dude is going to suddenly fall in with a group where everyone else is super special and unlock his own super special powers that eventually let him save the day? H I N T: he can only do that because he’s also super special, no matter how bland he is. /tangent)

In short (ha, too late!), what it came down to was this: I realized that stories of all kinds revolve around their protagonists. That is, actually, good writing --  no one wants to read a story without decent characters. And if that makes the protagonist special, well, yeah. That’s kind of how stories work. And if the protagonist is a girl, people are going to call her a Mary Sue and hate her for some reason. (H I N T: misogyny.)

So at that point I decided, fuck it, if that’s a Mary Sue, then I’ll read and write Mary Sues to my heart’s content, and defend the rights of everyone else to do the same. Because while I was driven by spite to keep writing, it could easily have gone another way, and gotten me to stop all together. I saw that happen to a lot of my fannish friends back in the day, and that really sucks. Again: learning to write is a process. Being mean to people who are beginners doesn’t actually help most of them, it’s just discouraging.

Bad writing -- at least, when we’re talking about “bad because Amethyst Orbs” and not “bad because Racist Caricature” for example -- doesn’t hurt anyone. Writing is a skill; like any other, it takes practice to get better.

And you can get better if you keep working at it. How do I know?

*points to Bound by Blood and Sand, AKA the fulfillment of my teenage daydream, AKA a book about a teenage girl who is definitely the most special person in her world, AKA a book I freaking wrote that’s published by freaking Random House*

Just sayin’.

Spite is a great motivator. Write the story you want, teenage girls, and fuck anyone who doesn’t like it.

[joneswilliam72]

Meet actress and producer Carolyn Hennesy of General Hospital, True Blood, Cougar Town and her new horror pic St. Agatha.

I caught up with actress and producer Carolyn Hennesy for a chat on acting, film, her unusually effective method of focusing while working, southern cooking, and what it's like to plumb the depths of evil relative to her character Mother Superior in the horror flick St. Agatha, out now in theaters, On Demand and Digital HD. Check out my interview with St. Agatha's director Darren Lynn Bousman here.

Hennesy is known most for her roles on General Hospital, True Blood, Cougar Town, and Disney's Jessie. She again brings her A-Game to the role of the sadistic Mother Superior in St. Agatha. Mother Superior's stated goal in her renegade convent in late 1950s rural Georgia is to provide a healthy and safe place for young, unwed mothers like penniless and pregnant grifter Mary (Sabrina Kern).

Yet, what we see throughout proves the convent's moral depravity and the depths of pure sadism that Hennesy so eloquently plumbs with her character. She truly does make such an evil character so fascinating to watch. This factor – coupled with Bousman’s razor sharp directorial vision – makes it impossible to look away from St. Agatha, even in a few parts where I wanted to. As I learned in my chat with Bousman, this is another mark of great horror.

Catch St. Agatha now in theaters, On Demand and Digital HD and enjoy the interview below.

Hello Carolyn.

Hello Wes.

How are you?

How are you?

Oh, just great.

I'm super.

Wonderful.

Super.

Getting right into it, what was it that initially attracted you to St. Agatha?

I was offered it. I had a coffee meeting with Darren Bousman, and he said after about 10 minutes, "I would like you to handle the Superior." And I said, "Fine." Because I knew that I would be in very good hands with this horror icon.

Absolutely.

So all trust. All trust, and all love to Darren. Yeah. He told me a little bit about what she was and is and does, and I leapt because it's the first ... It's my first ... I think it's my first horror movie. No, it's not my first horror movie, but it's my first star, lead role in a horror film. And being directed by him, you know, most people ain't that lucky.

Well, there you go.

Their first, real first horror.

That's fantastic and you know he's quite the world builder too, if you look at those other movies like Repo!, for instance.

Oh yeah.

It's just amazing.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. His vision is extraordinary no matter what piece he's working on at the time.

(L-R) Carolyn Hennesy as Mother Superior and Sabrina Kern in the horror film “ST. AGATHA” an Uncork’d Entertainment release. Photo courtesy of Uncork’d Entertainment.

Definitely. And isn't it a kind of a related question there, what was it like getting into her head space? That is, the Mother Superior's?

Terrifying and delightful because you get to plumb depths with Mother Superior, for a character like Mother Superior, who is evil with no humor and complete justification in her own mind, for everything that she does. Depths that you cannot plumb in polite society. You have to figure out ways to get there and more importantly, you have to leave a trail of breadcrumbs to get yourself psychologically out of it.

I can imagine.

And that was a challenge, and it was fabulously fun. And it was entertaining for myself. There was a lot of introspection, because ... I had to try. And as I told my therapist, I found it incredibly easy to get into her head, which I don't know exactly what that says about me. It was also kind of easy to get out too.

It says you're very capable. I definitely ...

There's a lot there.

You know, the role kind of reminded me of Jessica Lange in the second season of American Horror Story, but a little more evil.

A little bit. Little bit. Oh, she ... Yes. And a little more, I think hands on, if that's the right words.

Oh, absolutely.

Thank you.

Oh, thank you, and it was very entertaining too.

A tremendous compliment for me, by the way. Thank you so much for saying that.

Oh, my pleasure just to see it. Let's see ... What were the challenges like? Were there more beyond getting into it, and leaving those bread crumbs, like you said?

There were technical challenges, because Madison, Georgia, at that time of year was bitingly cold, and we were in the one home, our friends in Madison, Georgia, there's no electricity, no heat.

Oh, wow.

So ... Yes. So, we were all kind of huddled together in a little herd of ... A mass of black and white robes kind of huddled together for warmth, because this was a ... This is an antebellum home that I think was built in 1839, and had fallen into disrepair. So, no heat, no electricity.

Dang. Yeah.

We had to use a genny to power some space heaters and we kind of kept warm that way. Other challenges? No. I would've said the canine, but I happened to make friends with a Madison resident who took a shine to our production company, and kept us in fried chicken and fried okra and beef brisket, and cheese grits, and biscuits for much of the run.

This conversation's making me hungry now.

Trust me, I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking about it. Yeah, yeah.

[Laughs]

Long time residents in Madison, Georgia who helped us mix it. It was wonderful.

That's wonderful. I love good southern cooking. Did any funny or memorable moments from the behind the scenes that stuck out in your mind?

Oh, gosh. I can't really think of any, only because, even though there was a lot of laughter on the sets, and we had to keep it light, otherwise we would all have lost our minds, with the gore and the horror. There wasn't a tremendous amount of joke playing, or slip ups, or ... You know, no one fell down the stairs. [Laughs]

[Laughs]

I just know that Darren found it tremendously amazing that in between takes, I brought out my coloring books, because that's how I kind of keep my focus in head space. I brought out my adult coloring books, and I was coloring in between takes.

He'd walk over to me and say, "Carolyn, in this scene, I really need you to ..." And I'd be sort of coloring, and I'd go, "Mm-hmm (affirmative), mm-hmm (affirmative)," hearing every word that he said and trying this, and focusing, and taking it in while I was shading something, and shows the peach and plum. I know he found that amusing.

[Laughs] Very nice. That's an interesting method. I can't say I've ever talked to an actor who uses that as their way to focus.

Carolyn Hennesy as Mother Superior in the horror film “ST. AGATHA” an Uncork’d Entertainment release. Photo courtesy of Uncork’d Entertainment..

You know who I got that from? I'll tell you who I got that from. I was directed by a guy named Ted Lange, and Ted Lange played Isaac the bartender on The Love Boat. He's turned into this brilliant director. When he was directing me in this series, he would color in between takes… and I started doing that.

Well, there you go. And getting into the last question because of the time crunch ... What's next for you?

I have got a project coming up. It's about as far away from St. Agatha as you can get. But it will make use of my aerial trapeze skills. So there ya go. Watch this space.

Follow Carolyn on Twitter here.

Carolyn Hennesy as Diane during the character's first appearence on GENERAL HOSPITAL.

from The 405 http://bit.ly/2tjR9ya

[bookish-wanderer]

Hey, guys! Happy February!

First of all, I’m so excited that I finally wrote a review since the last time I did so, which was probably over a month ago, and the best part is that I highly recommend this book. Another thing that makes me super thrilled is that this is my very first time joining the Penguin Random House International Bloggers Team so they generously provided me with en e-copy of the book to review. Stronger, Faster, and More Beautiful came out on December 4th, 2018, and even though I’ve read it back then, I spent the rest of the month(s) working on this review so I hope you’ll enjoy it. 🙂

This book gets me thinking so much about what it means to be a human, and what obstacles we may face in the uncertain future. It’s a wonderfully crafted sci-fi story and I’m sure you’ll love it as much as I do. Besides, I also share my mini playlist at the end of the review just so you won’t fall asleep while reading it. 😛

Anyways, great to see you all and please sit back, relax, and have a blast!

For fans of television shows like Black Mirror and Westworld and authors like Scott Westerfeld and Marie Lu comes STRONGER, FASTER, AND MORE BEAUTIFUL, a compelling, mind-bending work of speculative fiction from Arwen Elys Dayton, author of the Seeker series.

Set in our world, STRONGER, FASTER, AND MORE BEAUTIFUL offers a twisted look into the near and distant future through six interconnected stories that ask how far we will go to remake ourselves into the perfect human specimens, and how hard that will push the definition of “human.”

This extraordinary novel explores the amazing possibilities of genetic manipulation and life extension—from the heavenly to the monstrous—as well as the ethical quandaries that will arise with these advances. Thought-provoking, poignant, horrifying, and action-packed, Arwen Elys Dayton’s gripping new novel is groundbreaking in both form and substance.

  My Review

***Actual Rating: 4.5/5 Lucky-to-be-Human Stars***

”How much of you is real?”

Oh, man, this book makes me feel so good about being a human. To begin with, Stronger, Faster, and More Beautiful consists of six stories, demonstrating six different (yet somehow connected) scenarios of what artificial intelligence (A.I.) may be capable of in the near future. Each story showcases how the cyborgs may coexist with human beings and start to blend in our initial world without being noticed at first. Unlike what most of us believe, these robotic creatures may not want to wipe the entire human race out. They’re quite easy to get along with and they’re also social animals, just like us! The only significant difference between these cyborgs and humans is that the former are nearly immortal (well, technically, they are not mortals but still!), and that scares me a little. *You’ll see why when I further elaborate…*

Since there are six short stories in this book, I’ll just break down my thoughts into six parts as well. Here we go…

[PART ONE // Cyborg Twins]

The first story is about a twin brother trying to live for his dying twin sister because her body’s failing her. However their parents are in disbelief, the doctor insists that the brother should accept his sister’s organs, including her heart, so that at least one of the twins can stay alive. As bizarre as it seems, pumping another person’s heart to live may be the only solution for the twins, and I’m surprised by the invisible yet strong bond cyborgs have. What impresses me more is that A.I. twins do exist! Honestly, before reading this story, the idea of cyborg twins has never ever come across my mind. So color me shock when learning this teeny tiny fact about them!

[PART TWO // Cyborg Couple]

Milla is a part-human, part-robot creature while Gabriel is a human. They sort of have a crush on each other but after Gabriel takes advantage of Milla catches a glimpse of what Milla’s made of, he may not seem to be as reliable as a boyfriend should be. People talk. Rumors spread. Bullying happens.

In Milla and Gabriel’s story, I find their romance a bit disturbing yet mesmerizing since they prove how forgiveness can become a universal language, an ultimate solution, and the catalyst for the elimination of bullying/rumors with the help of advanced medical technology. The best part about their ending? Problems are solved and the world’s getting back the peace it deserves. In general, I think cyborg couples are worthy of living on Earth after all.

[PART THREE // Cyborg God]

When it comes to cyborgs, who would’ve thought that they have some religious beliefs just like humans do? Reverend Tad Tadd is the well-known Cyborg God and as sacred as that sounds, there’s something relatively shocking to me: People actually ”reuse” their deceased family member’s eyes and hair just to symbolize the eternity of life. In all honesty, the concept here is all fresh and original to me and I’m utterly fascinated by it.

In a very short time, we will be able to create novel structural elements, forms that don’t naturally occur in the human body—forms that we haven’t yet imagined. I find myself a pioneer, daunted by the infinite size of the frontier.

[PART FOUR // Advancing Cyborgs]

The fourth story in this book is my least favorite since all I’m aware of is how well these cyborgs are in translating various languages—from human’s communication tools to animals’—and that enhancing their levels of vocabulary is simply a piece of cake. Despite my general lack of interest, I’m fairly intrigued by the usage of anagram in the characters’ conversations. Apparently, the author’s creativity knows no boundaries!

[PART FIVE // Cyborg Betrayals]

This time, the A.I. sensation expands from the U.S. to Europe and throughout Jake, Kostya, and Yulia’s escape to Siberia, the secrets they keep have put their friendship to the test. This story gives readers insight into the life of a cyborg slave, the betrayal between similar species, and how cancers can be cured by implementing, once again, advance medical. Although there may not be anything in common in the topics above, I can guarantee that this tale proves how multidimensional artificial intelligence can be.

None of the reconstructed people could cry actual tears anymore, and yet half the slaves openly wept, by gesture and by sobs, at the sight of their bodies becoming covered by what looked like human flesh. When you had been remade, any sign of your old self was precious. Jake was crying with the rest. There was nothing left, really, except his remembered humanity, and this artificial skin was a reminder, a gift.

[PART SIX // Cyborg Civilization]

Last but not least, we’re coming to the end of the story and let me tell you how incredibly well-done this story is. I’m awestruck by the realization that cyborgs are, in fact, a brand-new generation of living creatures. These A.I.-enhanced “people” aren’t here to annihilate the humanity; they’re here to recreate their very own civilization just as the origin of homo sapiens who appeared millions of years ago did.

Interestingly, it never occurs to me that there’s an evolution for cyborgs to transform their half-human, half-robot being into a fully-developed creature. That is, even though they can function pretty well on their own, they still have to undergo some sort of metamorphosis in order to become part of us, which totally broadens my horizons.

To sum up, Stronger, Faster, and More Beautiful is a splendidly written, HIGHLY RECOMMENDED story with unforgettable characters, mind-blowing plot twists, and shocking revelations of cyborgs. Each one of the six stories shows the possibilities and limitless potentials of these A.I.-featured creatures.

As intimidating as A.I. may sound, I’m delighted to say that this book makes me think differently because knowing that as invincible as cyborgs seem, their process of blending in is very likely to bear a resemblance to ours, which provides me with the kind of confidence and strength I need when facing the unknown future. As a matter of fact, this book empowers me so much that I indeed feel much stronger, faster, and more beautiful about being a human. 🙂

At that moment, Luck understood something new. There were horrors and there was death, there was evil and arrogance and apathy. But more than these, there were friends and there was hope. There was her life on the Rez and there was the wide world. And there was love. The bad things collected, but so did the good—and the good, she grasped, was more important than the bad. You could look past the bad if you wanted. Each good thing Luck had experienced, each good thing she had learned, built upon all of the others and added up to one thing which she felt completely for the first time: Human.

[Bonus: Mini Playlist inspired by the book]

The Last Time–Taylor Swift ft. Gary Lightbody

E.T.–Katy Perry ft. Kayne West

Human–Rag’n’Bone Man

  About the Author

ARWEN ELYS DAYTON is the author of Stronger, Faster, and More Beautiful as well as the Seeker series–Seeker, Traveler, and Disruptor and the e-novella The Young Dread–and the science fiction thriller Resurrection. She spends months doing research for her stories. Her explorations have taken her around the world to places like the Great Pyramid of Giza, Hong Kong and its islands, the Baltic Sea, and many ruined castles in Scotland. Arwen lives with her husband and their three children on the West Coast of the United States. You can visit her at arwendayton.com and follow @arwenelysdayton on Twitter and Instagram.

  Praise for Stronger, Faster, and More Beautiful

★ “Part cautionary tale and part ode to the inventive human spirit, Dayton’s brilliant collection of stories is best described as a scientific Twilight Zone.” —Publishers Weekly, Starred

★ “Compelling and terrifying, this volume is science fiction at its finest.”

—School Library Journal, Starred

★ “This speculative, thought-provoking novel will take readers on a frightening, remarkable journey through humanity’s past, present, and possible future.” —Booklist, Starred

★ “Imaginative and incisive.” —Kirkus Reviews, Starred

“Stronger, Faster, and More Beautiful will send shivers down your spine.” —Teen Vogue

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  And that’s all for today’s book review & playlist! Again, massive thanks to Penguin Random House International Sales & Random House Children’s Books for offering me the review chance and social media kit.

To all my lovely readers, thank you for staying until the end and I hope you had a fantastic time here! Please give this book a try if you hadn’t already, and hopefully you liked the songs I picked for the story. ❤

Have a nice week!

Until next time,

Jasmine 🙂

  Read-to-Review: Stronger, Faster, and More Beautiful by Arwen Elys Dayton (+bonus mini playlist) Hey, guys! Happy February! First of all, I'm so excited that I finally wrote a review since the last time I did so, which was probably over a month ago, and the best part is that I highly recommend this book.

[handsingsweapon]

i feel like the women in yoi are pretty awesome and don't get enough attention. so do you have any headcanons about any of them? or any stories from behind the scenes in any of your stories?

they are awesome! i feel like i don’t know quite enough about them to have the kinds of elaborate ideas i have for the men, but i’ll give it a shot:

mila babicheva

12850813/10 babe factor

guilty of a number of crimes, including but not limited to:

sneaking yuri plisetsky into concerts all over st. petersburg

working on out-drinking the rest of the russian skating team

she’s already ahead of georgi and she’s got her sights set on victor

she knows better than to try to keep up with lilia

having surprisingly (scandalously) high scores in “purity tests” - everyone except for the hockey brother (see below) and yakov are always shocked

has three brothers. is the youngest. learned how to beat them all up when she was little and getting bullied so now they all fear the wrath of baba-yaga (and also there’s a reason why she can lift yuri plisetsky and this is it)

her mother was so delighted when they finally had a girl that she immediately enrolled mila in girly things which is why she can do ballet and why she’s shown helping yuri plisetsky, supposed ballet prodigy-child, get better

because she’s more experienced than he is, even

one of those brothers is a hockey player

so she can also skate on hockey skates and play a little? but it’s always bad whenever she plays pick-up because she tries to use the pick to stop and hockey skates have no pick and why are you in the wall again mila

anyway, he keeps getting offended when she dates his teammates

he keeps trying to warn the team but look at her

she’s a red-headed babe, so naturally nobody listens to him

bi-sexual

when she’s a little bit older she’s going to find herself sitting around with the other skaters at some event

and she’s going to get into a long discussion with christophe

reactions will be as follows:

christophe torn between delight and a fierce competitive streak in regards to who can say the most suggestive shit

yuri plisetsky will keep making howling noises and/or want to die while pretending like he’s not taking notes from both of them

yuuri katsuki will be the shade of a tomato while pretending that he and victor never do any of these things

victor nikiforov will be cheerfully encouraging them both (victor voice: “wow!”)

don’t be fooled, she is lilia’s actual favorite

okukawa minako

203588532/10 wish i could grow up into this

do not attempt to outdrink this woman

FOXY-FOX LADY would 3000% write a story in which she, mari, minami, and yuuri are actual kitsune (someday, someday lbr snaggle-tooth child is there already it’s practically canon)

knows lilia and/or had a rivalry with lilia at some point on the ballet circuit

young lilia is all formal and distant. extremely polite. reserved. curt.

young minako hosted drinking parties and got the rest of the cast drunk

it’s like the movie black swan without the crazy twist at the end, e.g. picture lilia as portman-swan and minako as kunis-swan and there you have it

they’re past it now but young lilia was like ugh and they gave her an award wtf gross even though at the time her expression was :|

and then, according to minako, her face froze that way

there may or may not have been a moment where minako actually got young lilia drunk that old lilia refuses to speak of

but you’ll note that old lilia can now drink anyone under a table

and has minako-sensei to thank for that

went to school with hiroko

a couple years older. original shipper of the s.s. katsuki, though

firmly believes she’s responsible for mari’s conception and the subsequent rapid wedding that occurred

there was an incident involving a young katsuki toshiya who may have been given too much to drink by a young okukawa minako

and you know what drunk katsuki men do best amirite? they go seduce the shit out of the loves of their lives

totally had a fling with celestino in barcelona after their night out drinking from ep. 11

totally drunk-told him that he’s older than the men she usually sleeps with

zero bedside manner for celestino’s hangover the next morning

just straight up left the poor man there

katsuki hiroko

could have been the star of some nana-esque shoujo series about how she was the sweet nice girl who looked up to badass amazing okukawa minako

had the world’s biggest crush on katsuki toshiya

refused to do anything about it

minako intervened

mari was a pre-engagement surprise

hiroko broke down in all kinds of tears when she found out because scandalous

toshiya proposed immediately

but also apologized profusely because hiroko is a saint AND LOOK WHAT HE DID 

minako also made him get on the ground and grovel about it, just for her own amusement?

and then she did whatever the equivalent of a late-1980s japanese high-five was

has never gotten over her schoolgirl-girlcrush on minako which is why both of her children took minako’s dance classes

is one of those women whose life dream has always been to have a home and a family

like, her friendship with minako is odd because young!minako was dangerous and ambitious

and all hiroko has ever wanted is a husband who gives good back massages and to have the kinds of feelings she had when someone at a hospital first put mari into her arms or when she watches yuuri skate

just. loves. her. children. phichit and victor and kenjirou have fights over who is yuuri’s number one fan right up until the point where katsuki hiroko quietly and politely clears her throat and then they all shut the fuck up

but! she doesn’t expect anyone else to want what she wants which is why she’s so supportive of mari and yuuri and the way their gender-roles are very much reversed?

has realized that her son’s gay ever since the “let’s order more victor posters, mom!” spree

has had more than one conversation with minako about how she still can’t believe yuuri managed that, though

katsuki mari

203852/10 i love her

flannel-wearing lesbian

doesn’t date all that often though? super low-key about it

just like the rest of her family when she’s in a relationship it’s usually by dumb luck or fortuitous accident

got all of her advice about this initially from minako which is why they’re now friends and why mari travels with her to barcelona

actually went of to college in osaka? didn’t like it. came home with a few tattoos, more piercings, a cigarette habit and transferred back to someplace more local (prob. fukuoka) to finish her degree

has had to reassure both parents that being at the onsen is actually what she wants

super-pragmatic, so she got her degree in something she actually thought would help the family business: hospitality. and she’s taken culinary classes

will discover later in life that she likes ceramics / making things with her hands

will wind up being ridiculously good at it

develops slight fame / interest in her work

shows pieces at the onsen / sometimes in museums

pretends to be the least invested in yuuri’s career

but gets the most shouty if the wifi starts sucking and the stream goes down while yuuri’s competing in another country and she’s not there

extremely protective of her baby brother in spite of her attitude

the best in the family at getting yuuri to perform functional tasks when his anxiety is at its peak

beat the everloving shit out of the first person to ever bully yuuri in school

“your sister is terrifying” - nishigori takeshi to katsuki yuuri

threatened to beat the everloving shit out of nishigori takeshi for knocking yuuko up

babysits the triplets all the time though

worst enabler for their skating otaku behavior

sara crispino

i think i’m so weirded out by mickey that it’s hard for me to like her / i’ve avoided developing headcanons about them

24/7 energizer bunny type energy levels

yuuri thought he was tired after shopping with victor? this is some next-level shit, honeychild

imagine if you will a day that all the skater!friends spend at the beach

imagine that at the end of this day, something like three in the fucking morning, sara is trying to convince everyone that it’s a great idea to stay up just a few more hours because then they can get breakfast ^o^

meanwhile phichit chulanont is asleep on christophe’s shoulder

yuuri looks like he’s about to die

victor is pretending to be dead already

yuri plisetsky already gave up and left

even mila is like … struggling

italian, though! so many great things about italy

routinely offers to host friends with the crispino family and/or meet them in italian cities while they’re on vacation to show them around

mickey 100% always misinterprets this gesture as “sara trying to date someone”

in reality she’s just super-ultra proud of her country and wants to share it

culturally catholic but not that strict about it

knows precisely where the best pizza is in naples (and naples has the best pizza, so)

beats mila in beach-babe contests every time

after she retires she pursues two careers:

she becomes an italian television personality because she starts commentating for all the olympics and the nation immediately decides that she’s a national treasure

goes into costume design for skating. a+ really good at it best fashion sense 10582082/10 should wear again