#one of WISE bases got thrashed

[buf309-art-binder]

[DOPPELGÄNGER] - Chapter 1 - Part 2

<<< Part 1

<<< Read from the start

[lets-try-some-writing]

Hi there! I absolutely love reading your head cannons abt bumblebees relationship with Optimus it’s too cute!!! So I was wondering if you could write abt what happened after bumblebee lost his voice box? Because as much as I like teeth rotting fluff I like souls crushing angst even more

OF COURSE I WILL WRITE FLUFF AND ANGST FOR THIS LOVELY FAHTER SON DUO!!! I live and breathe the stuff thank you.

━━━━━━ ⊙ ❖ ⊙ ━━━━━━━━━━━━ ⊙ ❖ ⊙

Bumblebee was raised during war, there was no avoiding it. He was meant to be a solider the moment Optimus took him under his wing. It was the way of things, no matter how much the Prime wished it were not. As such when Bumblebee completed his training with acclaim from all of his teachers and requested to be transferred to the front lines, there was little Optimus could do.

Optimus: Bumblebee, the front lines are nothing like Autobot territory. Dangerous and high ranking Decepticons are far more common. You could be killed.

Bumblebee: I understand, but I still want to go. You and all the other Autobots have put your lives on the line for the sake of our freedom. It is only right I do the same.

The fear for his ward was ever present, but Bumblebee excelled on the battlefield. The information he collected and the kills he made were crucial to the success of many a mission. While he was still very young and new to the art of war, he was a natural forged warrior. Optimus hated that his sparkling had to fight, but he was proud, and with time, the fear eased. Jazz was assigned to look over Bumblebee, and in turn Optimus trusted that all would be well. Bumblebee was wise for his age and knew better than to throw his life into harms way without reason.

Optimus should have known better than to think his sparkling would not take after him.

It was a gloomy cycle at Tyger Pax. Optimus was with his unit far to the north, fending off a wave of Decepticon ground troops even as he desperately attempted to move back inland to face his foe before serious damage could be done. But no matter how much he struggled, it seemed as though every force on Cybertron was standing in his way. As such he was unable to move with any swiftness and merely slaughter with wrath known only to deities when he sensed Bumblebee all but shatter.

By the time he arrived at the scene, Bumblebee had already been carted off to base for emergency surgery and Megatron was nowhere to be seen. Optimus could not even exact vengeance on the behalf of his sparkling as he was given a report of what exactly happened and promptly hurried back to Autobot headquarters so that he could be there for his sparkling if and when Bumblebee got out of surgery. Whatever the case Optimus would be there for his sparkling, be it in life or in death. That was his promise, one that he lamented due to his failure to protect that which he held dear while he paced out in the waiting room.

Thankfully, Bumblebee was stabilized, but the loss of his voice was devastating to him. There was no time for Optimus to begrudge his failures as he held his sparkling close, singing to him and wiping away a river of coolant leaking from his optics. Bumblebee could not cry, he could not scream, he could not speak nor could he sing. Bumblebee was silent, and somehow holding his sobbing sparkling and not even being able to hear his cries hurt more than seeing the scars that adored Bee's neck. Many a long cycle was spent with Optimus remaining right by his dear ward's side as Bumblebee thrashed in his recharge cycles, silently screaming as a foe long gone once again took away his vocalizer. All Optimus could do in those instances was cradle his singular charge as if he were still small and hum a gentle tune, reminding Bee that he was there.

After Bumblebee was released from the medical ward, things were not much better for him. His faux vocalizer hurt him every time he used it. The vibrations and the sound made Bumblebee's wounds ache and often he found it unsettling to hear himself speak in binary tone. The constant trips to Ratchet to have his vocalizer adjusted were also frightening, so much so that Optimus had to be there each time to hold his servo as Ratchet poked and prodded, trying to make the faux vocalizer as comfortable as possible. Bumblebee often could not go a whole recharge cycle without his Sire there with him, a fact that brought him no end of shame. Optimus for his part could only suffer in silence, cursing himself for his failures as he held his dear one to his chest, doing his best to soothe wounds he could not heal.

Teaching Bumblebee to use sign language was one of the most spark wrenching experiences for many reasons. However it was largely due to the fact that Bumblebee often grew angry with himself and Optimus could do little to help. Trying to teach him made Bumblebee feel weak, and usually that emotion led Bee to lash out. At least once a deca-cycle, Bee would tell Optimus through his vocalizer or through writing to frag off and stop treating him like a sparkling. It hurt, it burned even, but Optimus was persistent and his efforts always led his ward to return to him in the end with an apology. One small blessing that came from Bee's situation was the time Optimus was able to gain with him. Bumblebee only tolerated Optimus and Ratchet touching his faux vocalizer and his scarred face. As such, when he really wanted comfort, only Optimus or Ratchet were allowed to run their digits over his scars and whisper sweet nothings.

For Optimus is became habit to go somewhere private after a mission and touch every scar on his sparkling's face, a reminder of failure, but also a declaration of adoration. To Bumblebee, such a touch reminded him that he was safe, that digits that hurt so many others would never so much as scratch him. To Optimus it was a memorial of his failures, but also a chance to lessen the ache with careful attention and love. Many nightmares, many long cycles of painful emotional outbursts, and plenty of quiet moments alone in the dark took their toll. With time, Bumblebee learned to use his faux vocalizer and no longer came to Optimus as often in terror of that which could stalk the night. With time, Optimus no longer feared his sparkling would be taken from him at every moment, nor did he continually lament his failure as a Sire.

They healed, they moved on, but scars lingered. Sometimes Bee still came to Optimus in the dead of night, his optics wide and pleading. In those instances he stayed with his Sire as he recharged, regardless of who might be watching. Sometimes Bee needed to be reminded of his worth, and those were the times when Optimus touched his scarred face and uttered all kinds of gentle affirmations. Sometimes... Bumblebee did not want to speak and hear his binary voice. On those cycles, Optimus was always there to work him through the motions, helping him through every task until he could at last rest and be comforted.

The scars lingered, but it was not the end. They were there to comfort and care for one another, even without words.

[cotillion-the-rope]

Shade Lord Ghost Drabbles: Still Hunters or More Civilized?

Summary: Ghost stumbles upon a Nosk den It goes 2 ways 1. Nosks are themselves infected or not, and ghost gets some catharsis smashing them 2: They are actually nice and respectful, and only hunt non sentient bugs. Ghost, and everyone else is very confused + [Could we get ghost vs] the equally uninfected Nosk?

~

It was bigger both in width and height but the wrapped up, drained carapaces and hidden entrance marked it unmistakably as a Nosk den. Having only encountered the Infected one in Hallownest, Ghost hadn’t considered there’d be more out in the world. But it made sense, didn’t it? That Nosk hadn’t come from nowhere. Now here, miles and miles in the depths of a different kingdom was another one.

Or at least another one’s den. If the Nosk who dug out this cavern and decorated its walls with drained husks was still alive, it was either gone or hidden well. Either way that basically left Ghost to explore the den a little, learn more about Nosks. What were they like when not Infected? Intelligent? Still hunters of innocent passersby or more civilized?

It was times like these that Ghost almost missed their smaller form. It was much easier to search nooks and crannies when small enough to fit into them and exploring was more of an adventure. From their vantage point now, even at their smallest, they didn’t have to move at all to get a feel for the room as a whole. They sent out tentacles to touch and explore more, pressing at the walls and floor, looking for more hidden entrances or possibly hiding places. Ambush predators were known for such thing after all.

There! Part of the right wall fell away when pressed, revealing a tunnel about the size of their old form. Ghost pressed that tentacle in further. Probably it was empty but perhaps it led to…

They brushed something that flinched at their touch, pulling away. Snapping that tentacle forward, they grabbed it. It struggled and thrashed but was no match for them.

First came out a little bug that looked a lot like the locals; hardy pill bugs. Next came the rest of the Nosk’s body, its legs flailing as they gripped at the walls of its tunnel, trying to stay inside. Ghost pulled it over to dangle in front of their face.

“Please don’t hurt me.” Its voice was much smaller than expected given the volume of the Infected Nosk’s scream had been. “I don’t wanna die.”

“You’re sentient.” Somehow Ghost was surprised by that. Their fault for judging an entire species based off an encounter with one of their kind that was Infected.

“Um… yes. So please don’t kill me. I like living and uh… sentience and whatnot.”

“Me too. Are you evil?”

“Uh… I guess that would depend on what you define ‘evil’ as. By my definition I’m not but well… I’m sure your definition is much better than mine um… Great One? Glorious Great Shadow… One. Am I doing this right?” Ah, it was trying to praise Ghost as an attempt to please them. Probably wise.

“Evil is…” Ghost didn’t actually have a definition of evil. Some people thought it was when one being harmed another but they’d done good when killing the Radiance and many of the other beings they’d murdered in their journey to do that so that couldn’t be what evil was. Others thought the void and thus Ghost was evil, preposterous. And then there was the ‘don’t harm innocents’ idea but what about tiktiks hunted and killed for food? Surely they and other beings like them were innocent but many bugs couldn’t digest plants and thus had to hunt and kill. It wouldn’t be moral to force them to starve.

“I don’t know,” they finally finished because the silence hung too heavy.

The Nosk groaned, its puppet face contorting into a grimace. “Great, I got caught by a god that wants to know if I’m evil or not but doesn’t even know what that means. Just my luck. Go ahead and kill me if you’re gonna do it since there’s apparently nothing I can do to change your mind.” It had ceased struggling, hanging limp in Ghost’s tentacled grip on its neck just below its puppet head.

A puppet head that was still set to look like the local pill bugs, one of the small variants. Looking up and around the den once more… none of the visible carapaces were those of the pill bug locals. Gruzzers seemed to be its primary prey based off this den. That didn’t mean it only ate the innocents that were mindless or never ate the locals but… judging an entire species based off an encounter with one Infected one wouldn’t be fair.

As gently as they could they placed the Nosk – or perhaps it should be referred to as a ‘nosk’, assuming that was the species name, it might not be, the one back in Hallownest might’ve just been named ‘Nosk’ – on the ground in front of them. “Sorry. What’s your name?”

It blinked as it looked around before standing on wobbly legs. “Uh… thanks, thanks, thanks. You won’t regret not killing me, I promise! I’m Zed. Good to uh… meet you um… Great Shadow Tentacled… something. Whatever you preferred to be called.” More trying to please. Ghost’s fault for scaring them so bad.

“I’m Ghost. Sorry, again.” They then teleported back up top, away from here. They couldn’t complain or be annoyed by people being frightened of them anymore, huh? Not after purposefully scaring someone like that. Oops. At least Grimmchild had been pulled away by his followers so he hadn’t witnessed that.

[sonicasura]

Hi! I had this idea for the Transformers x poppy playtime, and if you don't mind answering it if it's okay?

A crossover of Transformers Earthspark x Poppy playtime, what do you think if Playtime Co. exists in TFE. and how would the Bots/Cons and Malto family handle/think of it?

Additional idea/s: what if Alex Malto and/or Dr. Meridian (M android) used to work or were the ex-employees that worked at Playco?

At their time at Playtime Co. Alex Malto was sort of like a teacher/tutor/counselor, or employee that used to work at the play care

While Dr Meridian's a scientist and/or probably an engineer

Whether they know/are aware of the company's dark intentions/secrets, or not, they choose not to show up for work and that the choice was made for them during the "incident" that shut down the company forever.

Alex would be one of the people who genuinely didn't know about the experiments and think the toys he was working with at Playcare were genuinely people in costumes. It's when a Miss Delight gets injured that the Malto Patriarch stumbles upon the truth. He was originally going to be a whistleblower until he actually gotten sick and been home during the Hour of Joy.

Dr Meridian was familiar with experiments but only the willing participants. He got approached by Leith Pierre for his skillset and took the job. Meridian soon finds out the truth especially the children experiments. He leaves the company and destroyed his research before anyone could stop him. The Hour of Joy happens three days later.

Who comes for the toys isn't Alex but instead Mandroid. He sent his Arachnamechs to capture every living toy and transport them back to his secret base for the purpose of destruction. Mandroid couldn't do it before since he had no resources so the man waited until he was deep enough in GHOST to execute the plan.

It however goes awry when a Decepticon derails the expected transport causing all the toys to scatter across the country. Alex's past comes back the moment Bumblebee brings back an injured Dogday and Poppy. (Thrash and Twitch had just gotten their alt modes timeline wise.)

You can bet everyone was disgusted/horrified to say the least particularly Megatron. He's more softer in temperament nowadays so this felt like a very twisted flashback to the experiments Shockwave did for his Deception cause(minus the children. Even villains have some standards.)

Megatron is the one who asks Bumblebee to hide the toys' existence from not only GHOST but the other Autobots too. He doesn't the organization and knows Optimus mentioning them could everyone in danger. The insignia the toys described definitely was GHOST plus the Arachnamechs is further evidence something fishy is going on.

Or Bumblebee has another mission: help find all the escaped toys. Doesn't mean the Malto kids are going to stay put. Although whether they want to or not.

[plaindangan]

The shuichi’s milf batch may be over, but the asks aren’t!! After insulting Atua one too many time, tenko wake up one day super flat and small and weak! And Angie absorbed and doubled all her strength and curves! It ends well after a nice tease and a bit of humiliation.

Disclaimer: R18 material! If not to your liking then please do not read!

Tenko was a lot things appearance wise. A solidly built woman that took pride in her strength and frame to punish dastardly degenerates (males) and give her the power to refute annoying people (like Angie) and her ranting about her God again.

So when she woke up today flat as cardboard, muscles gone and even shorter too...and in front of her was an Angie that went from thin mischievous artist to a worshipper whose toned thighs, six-pack and overflowing bust would have drawn any person to Atua.

"A-angiiie!! What did you even do to me?!" Tenko got up in a start and charged at Angie...only to be locked in an iron bear hug. "Nyahaha~ Why so on edge, Tenko, dear?~ Perhaps a hug will cool you down~" Angie said with a sly smirk. Tenko realizing what that meant struggled in her grasp, but couldn't get away in her weak state!

"H-heeeeeey!! I don't need tha-MMPHH!!" Too late!! Before Tenko knew it, she was shoved faced first in Angie's new plump chest. So pillowy...and...soft~

...C-curse Angie!!! This boob size came from her, damn it!! Tenko struggled and thrashed, but the own comfort of Angie's boobs, her surprisingly tender hug and that stupidly peaceful humming eventually sapped what little effort Tenko had into a begrudging submission.

"Hmmm, you stopped moving? Is 'Little' Tenko going to be a good girl for Angie~"

"...If I listen will you just turn me back to normal?"

"Maybe~"

"Ughhhhhhh..."

So began Angie's hour long, close ranged, booba based sermon on Atua that Tenko had to force herself to listen to. Thankfully, Angie was nice enough to allow her to listen while in the comfort of her chest. Totally not because she had rightfully guessed Tenko had a soft spot for such treatment. Absolutely not~

[handwrittenhello]

I posted 1,551 times in 2022

That's 277 more posts than 2021!

44 posts created (3%)

1,507 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@samstree

@limerental

@wanderlust-t

@meliteles-tits

@ghostinthelibrarywrites

I tagged 500 of my posts in 2022

#the sandman - 228 posts

#disco elysium - 137 posts

#ofmd - 26 posts

#the witcher - 22 posts

#hhartt - 18 posts

#fic rec - 14 posts

#the witcher fanart - 13 posts

#jaskier - 10 posts

#yennskier - 9 posts

#yenskier - 9 posts

Longest Tag: 120 characters

#i’m in a server with the author and when they casually mentioned being the progenitor of one the most famous tropes ever

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I tried out an art nouveau style and am very impressed with the results :)

Individual posts for each character: Yennefer | Jaskier

134 notes - Posted June 16, 2022

#4

Tangled Up in You

Geraskefer, T, no warnings, 2.6k, Mer AU. written for @penny-anna! based on @journeythroughunknownlands' incredible art of prawnskier :3 When Jaskier finds Geralt tangled in a net, he seeks out the sea-witch Yennefer for her help, but she wants something in return. read below or here on ao3

Jaskier didn’t often consider his size an advantage. Shrimp, after all, were both subject to hunting by the larger predators of the sea, and went largely unnoticed by the larger breeds of mercreatures. More than once Jaskier had had to dart away to a hiding place when a hungry mouth had come snapping. He craved attention, sure, but certainly not like that!

Today, though, his small size would prove to be an advantage for once.

He was out near the old fishing grounds, a place usually not frequented for fear of being seen and hunted by the humans that skimmed across the surface of the sea. It was a good place to find things, old junk the humans had discarded that winked and sparkled brightly under the refracted sunlight that filtered through the water.

Plus, as mentioned earlier, fish were largely wise enough to avoid the place, so Jaskier could relax his guard some as he sorted through the treasures on the seabed.

He was contemplating taking home an old silver locket—it was rather large for him, and useless besides, but so pretty—when he heard the sounds of a struggle. He darted inside the nearest hiding place he could see, a beat-up tin can, quailing at the thought of danger. But the sounds continued, far off, and after a few moments his curiosity got the better of him.

He peeked his head out, scanning all around him for the source of the disturbance. There, to the north past the seaweed forests, movement. Swimming as quickly as he could, he wove his way between tall strands of seaweed, the sounds of thrashing becoming clearer, interspersed with low grunts and cursing. Another mer!

He broke through the weeds to see someone tangled up tight in a large fishing net. Jaskier caught a glimpse of scales, a scarred fin, sharp teeth bared—he was a shark!

But, tangled as he was, and with no sign of freeing himself soon, there was no real danger. Despite his instincts yelling at him to flee, to hide, Jaskier swam closer, deftly avoiding the shark’s flailing tail and coming to float next to his head. The shark didn’t seem to have noticed him at all yet.

“In a bind?” Jaskier asked, tail twitching. Golden eyes snapped to focus on the small shrimp, teeth still bared in a snarl. “I could help you,” he continued. “I’m Jaskier, pleasure to meet you.”

“I don’t need help,” the shark growled.

Jaskier huffed, swimming closer. “Hold still and let me see.”

The shark growled again, but stilled, allowing Jaskier to wiggle between the ropes of the net. It was knotted around his dorsal fin where he couldn’t reach, and his thrashing had only drawn it tighter around him.

“Ah, here we are,” Jaskier said, circling around to the knot. It was a nasty one; no amount of pulling would loosen it. He checked that the shark couldn’t see, and then, feeling foolish, tried to bite through the ropes. He made little progress, his teeth simply too small to gnaw through such thick ropes.

“Well?” the shark rumbled, tail fin twitching. “If you can’t do anything, go away. Your legs tickle.”

Jaskier once more squeezed between the ropes of the net, coming around in front of the shark. “Worry not! I know of a sea witch, Yennefer, who will surely be able to help.”

“I won’t tangle with any witches.”

“Well, I’d like to see you stop me, tangled as you are with that net,” Jaskier said cheekily. The shark tried to lunge, snapping his teeth, but Jaskier deftly swam out of the way. “Stay put, I’ll be right back,” he added, somewhat unnecessarily, as the shark seemed to slump, still caught in his bonds.

Jaskier swam quickly to the witch’s cave, which was just on the edge of the fishing grounds, far enough away from civilized society that she wasn’t often bothered—which was exactly as she liked it, Jaskier suspected. He had never been there, but he’d heard tales of it—the eerie flickering light that bounced off the cave’s walls, the fronds of dark seaweed that obscured the entrance, the bones that lined the bottom.

The cave was exactly as the stories told, and a frisson of—something close to fear, but not quite, maybe anticipation?—shivered through him. He was small enough that the fronds of seaweed proved to be no entrapping maze, though the tiny bones he swam over gave him a deep sense of dread. Hopefully they had belonged to fish only, and not to those who dared disturb the witch of the sea.

As he delved deeper into the cave, twisted shadows began to writhe along the cave walls. What dark magic was the witch weaving?

Good sense finally got the better of him, and he slowed to a stop, peeking around a corner into the true hollow of the cavern. It was large, but not gloomy at all despite its outward appearance. Holes at the top opened to let sunlight in, and colorful schools of fish swam among the rainbow of coral that grew on all sides.

And in the center floated a figure hunched over a gleaming orb that shimmered and sparked. The shadows resolved themselves into tentacles, mirroring the witch’s inky appendages—of which she had many—that wrapped around the orb.

She was chanting lowly in some language Jaskier didn’t recognize, the total of her focus on whatever spell she was performing.

It was, of course, the perfectly wrong moment to sneeze. So Jaskier did.

Yennefer faltered, stumbling over her strange words. The orb’s light dimmed and then died. “Fuck!” she cursed, shaking the now-useless ball of glass. Her head whipped round, her eyes piercing him with their violet gaze, pinning him helplessly in place.

With a flick of her finger, he found himself being rushed forward of no will of his own. He yelped, legs trying fruitlessly to cling onto something. He came to a stop hovering in front of her face, looming over him so close.

“What foolish little shrimp dares to enter the cave of a witch?” she asked, her hair floating around him as if it had a mind of its own, aiming to snare him.

“My name is Jaskier,” Jaskier replied, relieved that his voice didn’t waver. “I’ve come to request your help, Madame Witch.”

See the full post

141 notes - Posted March 28, 2022

#3

That Sandpiper Scene

You know, the one that had a lot of people screaming at their TV screens "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT YOU COLOSSAL IDIOT?"

AKA the scene in 2x04 when Jaskier smuggles the elves onto the boat, but pisses off the guard when he insults Jaskier's music. I, like I'm sure many people were, was also extremely frustrated by that scene--but I want to dive into why I think it's ultimately in-character for Jaskier to do it, and what might be behind his actions.

To start, we have to consider the situation as a whole. It's an EXTREMELY stressful time, for him and for everyone else, but especially the elves. War with Nilfgaard, racial genocide in the streets, and for Jaskier, a new hobby of subterfuge and smuggling. He feels it's not only his moral obligation to help the elves, but also pragmatically speaking the sensible thing to do, because he could be next ("They came for the elves, they'll come for the dwarves... no artist is safe.") So it's safe to say he's pretty fucking stressed.

And on top of all that, he doesn't even believe he's qualified to do the job. He makes a joke about it, of course, because that's what he does, but he even admits that he has no plan for smuggling the elves and Yennefer and Cahir onto the boat. He's going to improvise, like he's apparently been doing the entire time. The only thing I can think of worse than risking my life is risking my life without a plan.

So he's running on some pretty high tensions here. Luckily, it seems that he's usually able to get by when he relies on his persona as Jaskier the famous bard, a name he's made for himself over the course of two decades. Only for the guard to stop him short with unasked-for critique over one of his songs (and, as a writer, we all know how much unsolicited criticism sucks, right? :P)

This is, I think, less of an overblown overreaction to a minor comment, and more of the straw that broke the camel's back. Consider all of the previous stressors I just listed, and then consider the fact that Jaskier has literally no control over any of them. He's doing all he can, but there's only so much he can do. But you know what he can control? Music. That's what he's based his entire career on, that's (presumably) what he studied at university, that's what he lives and breathes. How dare this uneducated, amateur dock guard presume to know anything near as much as what Jaskier does?

So he explodes. He rants about how the guard doesn't know anything about music, how his song is unappreciated, etc. etc., and unfortunately pisses off the very guard whose goodwill his and his passengers' survival depends on. This is something he can control, something he knows, something he's good at, and this is his stressed overtaxed brain doing its best to assert control over a situation he has absolutely no control over. It sucks, but it's understandable when considered like this.

Further, it's in-character for him. He's always been painted as the lovable but self-important narrator, a good musician but flawed--he's prideful, overly defensive of his music, easily offended, holds a grudge. It's no wonder he feels deeply wounded by the guard's criticism of his songs, and it's no wonder he lashes out like he does, especially under so much stress.

Anyway thinking through it like this helped me see his frankly horrific actions in this scene in a better and more understandable light, and I hope anyone else who felt uncomfortable during this scene can read this and maybe gain a different or more sympathetic perspective.

144 notes - Posted January 11, 2022

#2

A (very belated) birthday present for @hobbart-art! I'm obsessed with their prince Jaskier/knight Yennefer AU, and think Jaskier should get to play the damsel in distress more often

(click for quality)

175 notes - Posted July 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

apparently i?? never posted this?? anyway this was a gift for @inber who requested jaskier riding a frog. he littol

285 notes - Posted July 28, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[arcadejohn127-9]

Helloooooo I love your work so much. How would the brothers and undatables react to Micheal taking MC as a hostage because they want they want something from Diavolo.

Are you the same anon from before? 👀 People really like villian Michael and I'm here for it

Do I love the idea of a darker obey me? Yes, if the game was a higher age rating it would just be

Let's get into it

Warning: angst, kidnapping and blackmail

To see you alone was a blessing. You were normally swarmed by people all wanting your attention. How remarkable.

Michael watched you walk carefree down the streets of the Devildom, you were humming a tone he was not familiar with. Why were you alone? That was only a question you could answer but he didn't need the answer. He just saw this as an opportunity.

"it's been so long since we've seen each other."

"huh-? Who are- Michael? What are you doing here?"

You looked around, clutching the strap of your bag. You couldn't see him which only made you feel more uneasy. Your eyes scanned the street in hopes you'll find him but there wasn't a single person in sight.

It was work hour; Everyone was free off the streets meaning it was safe for you to walk outside without an escort. You're starting to now regret this freedom.

"just visiting, we've never formally met, have we? I'm not far up ahead - let's meet face to face, shall we?"

There was an alleyway up ahead. You weren't a fool - you were polite but not a fool. Human world, demon world, angel world - whatever world. There was no way you're following a voice to an alleyway when there's no one around. You could be hearing one of your friends voices and you'd still leg it the other way.

"I'm not sure about that....I should be getting back to the dorm."

"fine, but let's atleast say goodbye."

You nodded with a quick bye, believing that he would see. You quickly turned on your heel ready to run back to the dorm but you suddenly felt something wrap around your wrist.

You tried to turn. your vision went black. A hand was covering your eyes whilst you thrashed against their grasp. Your voice was lost as you the world around began to spin. The darkness only caving in quicker.

The next moment you suddenly sprung up. You tried to scream but there was something shoved in your mouth; it made your jaw ache as you tried to yank your hands away from the restraints. You were atleast thankful you could see but less thankful you couldn't remember how to escape being kidnapped. All those tutorials and videos just washed out of your brain due to pure mindless fear.

"Ah~! Diavolo it's lovely to see you! I was getting concerned this wouldn't turn on, you've stolen something that belongs me and I want it back - give me the relic in your father's tomb or-"

You stared as Michael began approaching, eyes flickering back to the screen. Michael was suddenly grasping your face, tugging it closer to him. Making sure you could be seen in the screen.

"say goodbye to your key to peace! I'm sure (Y/N) would agree their life is far more important than some relic."

You could just about make out for friends and you began screaming, shaking your head furiously.

Whatever Michael wanted you weren't going to claim it higher than your life. Is it stupid? Yes but without knowing the price of this sacrifice you didn't want to cause a doomsday. If it's worth kidnapping you for and being locked away in the old kings tomb; it wasn't going to be something simple and nice like a vase.

"As an angel I'll be merciful to you, you have until sundown in the human world, I'll be happy to keep little (Y/N) company~"

He grabbed your shoulders, grinning. You weren't sure what he was going to do to you. Was he going to hurt you? How long was it until sundown? All these questions made your head hurt, trying to hold back your tears as you kept shaking your head.

The screen suddenly turned off and you were left alone with the angel. Your body froze as you heard him laugh. You let out a whimper, crying as he circled around you.

Lucifer:

"My Lord, you can't give him that relic - it'll tear a hole into the realms-!"

But he knew apart of him wanted to say 'screw the three realms'

Mammon:

He just wanted you to be safe

Would he be safe if Michael holds the relic? No, you'd be in more danger

"It's 2 hours until sundown, his mercy is a joke, we need to do something now."

Everyone grew more restless as they tried to think of a plan

Lucifer looked back at the screen, hoping he could see what Michael was doing to you but there was nothing

He had to get you back!

"whatever he's asking for better be important or else you better hand it over, I ain't letting him keep his hands on them!"

He's furious

He didn't follow you out one time and now you've been kidnapped!

Levithan:

He wanted to desperately get you back home

Lucifer gripped his shoulder, telling him to calm down but he only frowned

"I can't- you assigned me to look after them and now they're who knows where! Do we even know where Michael took 'em?!"

Everyone froze for a moment

Realizing, there was no destination, no clues, no way to call Michael back

Their two hours needed to be spent wisely

"This is just like one of my games....BUT WORSE! what's the relic?! There's no way it could be more important than (Y/N)-"

You were the kidnapped royalty and he was going to be the determined Plummer

Satan:

Seeing how scared you look made his mind blur, just thinking of how to get you back

But Lucifer answered his question

It could rip holes into the realms

Michael was the final bad guy and he wasn't sure if he was strong enough to beat him

"What if this all a set up? What If he's already hurt them or kil- got rid of them, what are we going to do?"

"He couldn't possibly want- Prince Diavolo you're going to get (Y/N) back but if he gets that relic we're all good as dead."

He wanted nothing more to just get you back but he understood the risk

He was already planning a way to get you back

Asmodeus:

A sike on the relic - they get you back and Michael doesn't get it

But the question remained - where were you

He couldn't recognize the room but it was light up naturally

Wait-

"if it's 2 hours to sundown it would not be that bright if it's the human realm but he's basing it off one part of the planets time zone - the only other option could be the celestial realm, it's always daytime there."

The others looked at him stunned

He mewled over his thoughts, pacing back and fourth as he tried to figure out where you were

"What are we going to do?! When I said I'd love to see them tied up this isn't what I meant-! We have to get them back, can't we just get him a fake?!"

He was panicking

He could gather the relic was of high importance of Michael was going to go this far

Beezlebub:

But at the risk of you getting hurt or Michael doing something to you if they're not quick enough?!

Levi asked him to repeat himself, he immediately got grouchy and complained about his brother not listening

"we should get a fake, how is he going to know the difference unless he immediately uses it but we're faster than angels and stronger."

Belphegor piped in, reminding him angels are more advanced in weapons and magic

They all were starting to lose hope

Determined still but knowing the time limit and being unable to think of a full plan was getting to them

"You better figure out a plan or I'll go get (Y/N) myself, I'm not waiting for you to decide."

A threat to the prince?

Beezlebub knew that was risky but not getting you back was worse

Belphegor:

If he had to rely on himself to get this done then it'll be done

"That looked like Michaels training spot, if it's in the celestial realm then that's the safest space for him."

"If Michael wants to play like that I say we do the same for that relic, threaten to destroy it if he doesn't give back (Y/N)."

He was like his twin

Ready to get you by himself if he had to, no matter what

His sin wasn't going to hold him back this time

UNDATEABLES↓

He will get you back

Mammon snapped at him, reminding Michael wasn't fair and could of already done something to you

Or fake giving you back

"I'm not lazing around whilst (Y/N) could be getting tortured! Beel got an area and I say we go there and force him to give back (Y/N)."

Barbatos hummed, deciding to remain silent as he watched them think

Belphegor tried to force back a yawn but more kept coming

Diavolo:

"Please, understand this is a difficult situation - I want them back just as much as you all do but this has gotten bigger than some simple scheme."

He was devastated; you were in this situation because of him

He couldn't just let you sit there tied up with Michael

But that relic in his hands could reverse everything he's worked for

Barbatos:

What's even worse you could be hurt

"The brothers cant enter the celestial realm, that would be why he choice it - then only me and barbatos could do it."

It seems hope was completely completely lost

He had faith him and barbatos could save you but he couldn't just leave them waiting in the Devildom

He needed other people to help incase things went terrible

"If it'll put you all at ease, I have a solution but all of you need to listen closely and follow this perfectly."

The plan was to have the twins go together, have Solomon make a replica of both the key and the relic

+bonus chatacter

Diavolo face Michael 'alone' while the rest of them get ready to grab you and attack if things go south

Simeon would come with Diavolo to put the other angels at ease

"But for the brother's to enter I need to be able to use my powers properly, I'll reverse time on their body's but not their minds - it's a difficult spell but I can do it."

After all their angel forms were happily accepted and loved

But who they are currently were not

Michael:

"I'm glad you've decided to be reliable, I'm sure you're aware of the angels positioned outside, they're ready to fire as soon as you try anything."

He pointed to the openings, shining arrows aiming at the demon prince

He was prepared to stop his plan failing

But his disadvantage was undermining how much these demons needed you

Diavolo held the fake relic

You begged him not to; whilst with Michael he told you all about his plan, detailing how he was going to eliminate all humans and lesser demons

Diavolo demanded for you back but Michael just shook his head

"Relic first then the human."

and the trade was complete, Diavolo held you close to his chest

Michael twisted the egg shaped relic but screamed when he realized it was a fake

He ordered the angels to fire but they all aimed at him

He was struck down, the demon brother's replacing his archers

Diavolo handed you over to the brother's, they hugged you and fretted over your tattered state

"Take them....me and Michael have alot to talk about."

[prof-peach]

Out of all of the pokemon you have taken care of, which one do you think it was the hardest to deal with? Be cuz they were in a pretty bad shape, or just personality wise?

We get rumbunctious and rowdy Pokemon all the time, our works nature brings them to us probably more than any other issue, outside of grass Pokemon care and management. Anger and nervousness is something we have a good hold of here, and try to help iron out of various species. I do a lot of that work, and on occasion, Grey will do the odd water type with these problems, as I tend to shy away from those. For the most part, they are short stint stays, a couple months, to a couple years helping them to rewire their anger into a more productive feeling or energy. That being said, there’s alwasy the odd Pokemon who comes our way who’s just a step above the rest. So here’s some stories of the ones who have had to stay with us, for their temperament and behaviour.

On the north side of the island, we house the biggest, meanest Pokemon, and the individuals who are very timid and nervous around people. We do this to ensure they have space to live undisturbed in peace, but also to protect guests and visitors from being eaten, crushed, blasted, or otherwise harmed. Some of the northern residents are difficult yes, but most are just stroppy or uncomfortable with the majority of humans, but there are a handful that are actively engaged in harming or hunting people.

One such Pokemon is a rather nasty tempered Drampa, he came to us about five or so years ago now, kindly donated by being abandoned on our shores, it’s original trainer leaving the ball and hopping on a boat without alerting us, or letting the individual know. We figured it would be possible to rehome it, they’re usually a rather reasonable Pokemon to handle, considering their typing. We were wrong. This Pokemon when let out of the ball, went on a monsterous rampage for four days, destroying forests, toppling buildings, blasting holes in the mountain to try to burrow away, and picking fights with anything it’s size or bigger, often causing great harm to others. The island didn’t rest for that entire time, most Pokemon cowering from it, bigger species trying to halt them, all in vain. It took an entire troop of grass Pokemon using sleep powder to knock it out, the Drampa moved about so fast, one single grass type didn’t stand a chance to produce enough spores in time. It took a lot of work but we knocked the old boy out, and got a good look at him. His body was riddled with arthritis, not medicated, he would thrash about and cause himself so much pain and discomfort. He had overgrown nails, the feet hidden in the fur they have around their torso, often overlooked, and it’s ability to fly was limited because of its general condition and state. We began helping it, medicating it’s aislments, aiding it’s inflamed joints, but it never really calmed down, so now it chills out alone on the coast of the north side, left well alone, it doesn’t even like the company of other Pokemon.

We’ve done our best to interact with it, to socialise it, to generally get it use to people enough to do medical checks, but it’s still very resistant. We have decided that after two years of hard work, and it being tolerant to me, at least to check it’s health and wellbeing, that it’s best to let it live it’s life unbothered. Many would push a Pokemon to be a perfect social being, but we don’t believe it’s necessary for happiness. Some species are happy to be away from others, I wouldn’t push a human to be social, I know how awful that can be, so we didn’t force the individual to be around others either. It’s not that it’s unhappy, we spot it from time to time sitting on the rocks by the ocean, humming to itself, and the small pidgey and tailow that come by don’t bother it, and even give mild brief conversation. He seems ok, the medicine given means he’s in less pain, despite still having stiffness, and in the winter we’ve built him a unique space, rocky cover much like a cave, just above a Macargo hide where they lay eggs. The heat from those Pokemon keep its cave very hot, and help in the cold to ease the joint aches. The two species have different entrances, making sure they never meet within the hide at any point. There’s a good slab of rock dividing them, so it’s not an issue, and saves us having to pipe hot water over that far for him. He eats well, has a few items he’s kept from the labs, a toy sentret, and a large red ball, and generally is in a good place to live out his life in peace now.

Another difficult member would be a particularly timid Slazzle, gifted to us by a police member who had confiscated it from a rather mean individual close to her home town, they had been hurting the poor Pokemon, forcing it to produce an insane amount of poison liquid, throwing water on the poor thing every time it tried to ignite to retaliate, generally abusing the poor thing for its life, apparently it had been locked away since it was a young unevolved Pokemon. They’d been harvesting the poisons from the Slazzle and dropping it into various water sources to try to control the local Pokemon population, as they blamed the wild ones for the state of their land, and diminished crops yield from their allotment. Jokes on them, that water poisoning affected them too, and their garden died very quickly, and made the man quite sick through consumption of the crops he grew there. The slazzle is still very skittish, will hide at any given moment, we’ve seen her ignite an entire building in one move, and then bolt away through the flames to lose our line of sight. She managed to stay hidden for two weeks on the island, before we caught sight of her again. Generally she’s just a case fo neglect but we have been working with her now for a long while, 3 ish years, and her temperament is at least manageable amongst our staff. We have found her others of her kind to help her settle, and she’s become good friends with a Wartortle who came from the same area, they bond over memories of the place, and seem very happy in each others company.

We’ve found ways to keep her grounded, but she never goes near people when we have open days, slinks off through the big fence to the north side, and waits out the visiting hours until night. They’re not usually nocturnal but she likes the night, and spends her time looking about, foraging and feeding in the later hours. If you’re quiet you can catch her moving around the forests and the base of the mountains here, talking with the occasional individual, she seems to enjoy Murkrow too, their company seems to keep her quite social, as they usually move in large flocks here. She may never be rehomed, but for now we try to socialise her, we don’t battle her, and she has a very calm and peaceful nook to go to when she’s having a rough time. We make sure to provide support where possible, and though she’s a little skittish she’s somewhat happy to have myself and Grey, even Pari take a look at any wounds or scrapes she may gain while living here. She’s become trusting enough to come to us if we call, and who knows, maybe someone will come our way who she takes an interest in. There’s hope for her yet, we have however become quite fond of her, and she’s part of the furniture now. It may end up that she never leaves, and lives her life in peace here, surrounded by people and Pokemon who love her. Her panic makes her very difficult to pass to another trainer, and she’s prone to spitting up huge quantities of toxic liquid when spooked, and bolts at a slight bang or rumble.

One I have kept back for a number of reasons, is a rather mean tempered Aerodactyl. Normally we get Pokemon sent to us, but this one I ended up finding myself, some circus had her chained up in a box hardly big enough to turn around in, an attraction to the masses as they travelled through the area. The leader of that troop was particularly awful, treating Pokemon as commodities, items to be bought and sold, used as toys in his big performances. Boiled my blood. We called her Zeplin, and after 12 years she has still got a nasty temper on her, when not focused on a task. Her condition when we first found her was quite something, tattered wings, unable to fly straight at all, and she was littered with cuts and bruises, not in good health. Val has melted the chains that bound her, and the lock in her cage, and she just went, like a bat out of hell, flew off, blasting the tent that hid her quarters, burning a lot of the circus as she went. Little did I know, my foot was in one of the chain links, and I got dragged off with her, the ground, Val, all my other team mates, falling from my pocket, or being left on the floor where we had once been standing. She flew, and kept going, not aware I was still attached, you could see her wings were having a hard time catching the breeze, littered with holes and tears, she went for about two hours, I nearly froze that high up, trying to get a good grip on what chain was left so I didn’t come falling from that height. We came to a very sudden crash landing, she hadn’t had much chance to practice the whole take off - land thing from the feel of it, we both ate dirt, and she became very aware that I was there all of a sudden.

I had about three seconds while she assessed my presence, to get out of the chain, and dive behind a rock that gave me cover from an almighty blast of energy, chipping away bits, catching my arm a little. Trust me when I say, it’s terrifying coming face to face with something that stands a fair few meters taller than you, with more teeth and claws than you’re comfortable with dealing with, with none of your Pokemon, no weaponry, no real plan or cover other than a rock. How she didn’t eat me, I don’t know. Perhaps she knew it was me that let her go, maybe she just ran out of energy, but for whatever reason, she made a few bits and tail lashes at me, missed the lot, and gave up, turning to stomp off into the forests around us. She was still shackled with heavy irons, one on the neck, two on the legs, and was in serious condition, so I did the stupid thing and followed her, tried to sneak my way behind, though every now and then she would look towards me, and try to focus on my form in the dark of night now. It was a few days, she had stalked some prey, fed, and was starting to ooze from some wounds. Though the circus was unkind, they were providing her with medication that stopped further infections occurring, perhaps a scarred beast of great size drew more punters, maybe they were just making sure she survived to make them money, I still don’t know.

I hunted herbs, dug out roots with rocks, used river water, and common berries and managed to fashion some kind of salve, nothing amazing, especially back at that age, but it would work, I knew it would because I used it on my own wounds first. Just had to convince her it was a good thing to let me get close. Not an easy task. We physically brawled, she was clearly spent, not able to use any attacks, just thrashing about, I managed to trip her with the chains still attached to her legs, and once downed, you can jump on the head of these Pokemon to keep the jaws shut, just long enough to lather the wounds you can reach, then bolt fast. It was a small act, but she took off running again. With some wounds sort of cared for, I followed again, fishing for dinner, forraging roots to chew on. It wasn’t much but it kept me going, then one night, where I had climbed to a crook of a large tree, using my jacket to tie myself in for a nights sleep, I was awoken by loud rustling, thudding of feet, and a mighty huff.

Below where I sat, the Pokemon had returned, being no doubt well aware of my presence, following the smell of human, she had noticed the salve do a good job on the wounds I managed to reach, but the ones I couldn’t get near had become far worse, red, inflamed and weeping terribly, no doubt hurting and itching. I’d seen her rubbing her sides in the day, itching gasinst rocks and trees, smearing blood and ooze along her path as she trudged. So here we were, alone in the woods, I veeeeery carefully climbed down, staying in cover as much as possible, and over the space of an hour or two, she let me come out into the open, teeth bared yeah, but she hadn’t attacked, and other than a very uncomfortable, low growl, she allowed me to creep closer, some more of that salve made more for my own wounds than hers, being sniffed at, she licked it too, but wasn’t happy with the taste, very bitter, and I was cautiously optimistic, allowed to help her heal the rest of the cuts she had acquired from her old home. So we began our....I want to say friendship but that wasn’t it, it was a collaboration to survive.

We had landed somewhere far from others, I missed my team, and she had never experienced anything outside of the cage, and so we banded together, tentatively. We caught dinner as a team, and climbed for fruits, foraged for berries, reapplying what loose form of medicine I managed to make, before coming to some kind of comfortable companionship together. A week passed, wandering without a clue where we were, before a path was found, she seemed to want to avoid it, and while I wasn’t keen on people much either, it was impossible not to want to find my team again. They needed me, and I needed them. If they had been found, a police officer or the likes may have sent them to my original professor, waiting to be called from the PC system again, but knowing Val, she had grabbed the balls, my things, and bolted to hide, waiting for my return. In desperation I tried to explain this to the Aerodactyl, who had not experienced a trainers care before, and seemed reluctant to return.

It was only upon mentioning revenge, to burn the circus to the ground, that I regained her attention, and we came to a slow agreement to get aid, gather items, and return to where she had been released from. She waited in the forest while I went to town, checking my PC space to see if my team had been handed in, which they had! It was lucky, I was reunited with Val (vulpix), Booker (teddiursa), and Potato (bulbasaur) who I took back, and returned to the woods with.

We had to get some revenge, and in turn we devised a plan to free the Pokemon first, sneak in and pick the locks, melt the chains and gates, and then finally, let the aerodactyl do her thing once the vulnerable individuals were loose. I did my best to hold back my own personal rage, and simply aid the demise of a group who were awful towards Pokemon through this one big flying type. I wint go into details but no one perished in the fire, they were arrested and charged for unsafe work conditions, and abuse towards Pokemon, not to mention false advertising, having no worker’s Compensation in pace for injury, which many staff complained of, and several incidents of sexual harassment in the work place that were brought to light.

Once one started to talk, the others all joined in, and the fire was put down to unsafe working conditions and a lack of health and safety. From what I heard, the whole circus worth of Pokemon were rehomed, helped and generally lived much better lives after that. However now we had one very mistrusting angry Aerodactyl on our hands, a Pokemon I had not worked with before, who had seemingly become quite tolerant of me, but would snap at just about anyone who clocked eyes with her. So I kind of just kept her, no ball, not for a fair few years, we both didn’t think it was important. She was nursed back to health, and we had to go through a lot of training together, she bit booker once quite badly, but we’ve all put that in the past, and have worked on it together.

She is still testing, she won’t be ridden by anyone else, she doesn’t care for other Pokemon much, crowds will spook her, she doesn’t like when people talk with raised voices or hostile tones, and gets real irritable if you come at her in any kind of way that isn’t open handed, calm and slowly. She’s now a very capable flier, wings healed up, spending her first half of life locked up made her long for the open sky, so now we take time together to go off and ride winds when work is slow, and she’s helped in many ways to make the island functional, by moving logs, clearing paths, helping lift building materials around, and generally being there for me when I’m full of rage, which is actually annoyingly often. We’re anger buddies hah, kind of get on the same level with it. She’s become so much part of my family, and I feel like i’m part of hers now too, so I doubt she’d be rehomed, but should she find somewhere she would rather be, we wouldn’t stop her going. She is difficult, angry, snappy, tempermental, difficult, won’t be touched by strangers, likes to fight, but I’d not change her, she’s our testing monster, who we love and adore.

Went off a bit, but I figured why not, I know her, and can write more about her life and story than the others.

[kenmascatears]

haikyuu captains favorite positions

description: some of the captains and their favorite sex positions

people: terushima, bokuto, ushijima, kuroo 

genre: smut, haikyuu x fem! reader

warnings: mating press, creampie, public sex, oral, vibrating tongue piercing, praise kink, general praise

part one || part two

terushima

+ oral sex 

+ he’d want to put that tongue piercing to good use

+ maybe he would buy a vibrating piercing while he’s at it 

“yuji i-it’s too much” you whined, thrashing around on the bed. 

terushima was currently inbetween your legs, two fingers inside your wet cunt, tongue flattened across your clit. 

he had come home early from work that day, citing that he had a surprise. that surprise turned out to be a vibrating tongue piercing. 

this led to where you were, sprawled on the bed while terushima ate you out like he hadn’t had a meal in ages. 

terushima took a long lick from the bottom of your finger-filled hole to the top of your clit, piercing vibrating the whole time.

back arching, you moaned out. the sensation was almost too much for you to handle. 

you could barely handle his oral skills with the normal piercing, but with the vibrating one coming into play, you couldn’t focus on anything else. 

rutting into the mattress, terushima gazed up at you. you were such a lewd sight. your chest heaving, eyes rolled back into your head as you gripped his hair, bucking your hips into his mouth. he noticed the trail of hickeys he left on your skin, running down your neck and chest, with a particularly dark one right on the inside of your thigh. 

the moans that left you made him want to wreck you, but first, he had to make you cum. being in control was his favorite thing to do, being able to handle your body and decide what you got to do and what you didn’t. 

your whining snapped him back into reality. 

“yuji why did you stop?” you pouted, hips bucking into his face, your cunt desperate for contact. 

“i’m sorry gorgeous” he muttered, pressing a sweet kiss on your thigh before slipping his fingers back inside you. 

curling them, he prodded that spongy spot he knew would have you falling apart. tongue on your clit, he sucked hard. 

chanting his name like a mantra, you quickly fell apart, gushing all over his fingers and thrashing on the bed. 

he didn’t stop pleasuring you through your orgasm. once the overstimulation hit, you began squirming away and terushima let you. 

snaking his way up your body, he held you while you came down. 

“are you okay pretty?” he asked, “how was that?”

“it was good yuji,” you replied breathlessly. snuggling closer to him, you felt something poking at your side. 

looking down you noticed it was yuji’s very hard cock. 

“i wanna take care of you now,” you said, wriggling out of his arms snaking your way down his body. 

bokuto 

+ mating press

+ can cage you between his body and the wall, one hand on the headboard to keep you close to him while he fucks into you. 

“‘s so big kotaro” you moaned out, your mind consumed with how good you felt. 

his cock was filling you up so nicely, pressing against your gummy walls as you clung to him, legs wrapped around his waist. 

“good girl,” he groaned out lowly, “you’re taking me so well.” 

you whimpered, wrapping your arms even tighter around his neck, playing with his hair, and arching your back to meet his thrusts. shifting your body to get a better angle, bokuto pins your knees to your chest. 

“can you hold those there for me pretty?” he sweetly cooed to you, thumbing at your clit. 

cunt clenching at the pet name, you obediently you wrap your hands under your knees, spreading your legs so bokuto can slip his cock back in. 

all you can do is moan. this new angle has him hitting your all your spots and you feel yourself hurtling into an orgasm. 

“ko i’m close” you whimper, head foggy with the feeling of him pounding into you.

looking down at the sight of you, bokuto almost cums right there and then. the scene is so lewd, your little cunt all stretched out to take his dick, creaming all over his cock, leaving rings of slick dripping down his base and balls. 

grinding his hips against your clit, he reaches down to palm one of your tits, playing with the hardened nipple. your entire body trembles around him, the added stimulation sending you headfirst into your orgasm. 

“ko ‘m cumming, don’t stop please,” you babble nonsense, walls spasmed, bucking messily as he fucks you through your orgasm. 

as you gush around him, bokuto stills. head falling into the crook of your neck, he moans, shooting thick ropes of his seed inside you, your walls milking him for all he’s worth. 

as the two of you still, coming down from your respective highs, you release your legs from your chest. 

as bokuto moved to pull out he presses his lips against your forehead, a moment of sweetness in contrast to what had just gone down.

“i’m not done yet princess” he whispers in your ear, “there’s still another round in me.” 

ushijima

+ cowgirl

+ he’d be sitting up, you straddling him

+ his big arms caging you in while he thrusts into you, watching you lose yourself, becoming drunk on his cock

“toshi,” you gasped, craning your neck around, “someone’s gonna see.”

the two of you were currently in the backseat of ushijima’s car in the mall’s garage. you had been shopping for clothes, but once ushijima saw you in that tiny dress you had planned on buying, he had yanked you out of the store and to his car. 

that was how you found yourself struggling to sink down onto ushijima’s cock. 

it was always a tight fit with him, he was so big, both in his frame and endowment wise. no matter how many times the two of you had fucked, it was always a struggle for you to take him. 

your cunt gripped ushijima tightly, fluttering with each inch you took, made him groan out in pleasure. he had to control himself from not thrusting his entire length into you as you worked your way down.

as you bottomed out, he patiently waited for you to adjust to his size before you began to ride him. setting a pace quickly, you got lost in the sensations of ushijima’s cock filling you up so nicely. 

as you rode him, you cried out, his name, feeling every inch of him pushing you to the limit and rubbing against your walls, filling you so deliciously.

“toshi it feels so good.” you slurred out, drunk on how his cock was thrusting so deeply into you. 

you were creaming all over him, leaving a puddle on the upholstery, as you hurtled towards your orgasm. “‘m close.” 

“are you princess?” he gasped, head hazy with how good you felt around him, “can you play with your pretty clit for me?”

snaking a hand down to your puffy clit, you began rubbing circles onto your bud, your slick mixing in and making the motions easier. 

just a few touches and you were sent into an orgasm, moaning and gushing all over ushijima’s cock. 

ushijima, feeling your cunt fluttering and contracting around him, was sent into his own orgasm, pumping you full of his cum. 

even in your post-orgasm haze, you could feel him filling you up, a slight bulge forming at your stomach from how much cum he pumped into you. 

spent, the two of you laid there for a few moments before you pulled yourself off at ushijima. 

wincing at the loss of contact, you grabbed a tissue from the center console and wiped away the cum that was leaking out of you, before passing it to ushijima so he could clean himself. 

his voice broke the silence that filled the air, “we should probably get out of here before security comes. you weren’t exactly quiet towards the end _____.” 

you laughed, pulling on your panties and climbing across the car into the passenger seat. 

ushijima, opting to use the doors, followed suit, buckling up, and turning on the car before exiting the lot. 

you were nearing sleep, the orgasm taking a toll on your body. 

just before you drifted off you turned to ushijima. 

 “next time toshi, i want to actually buy that dress before you drag me away.”

kuroo

 + downward dog 

+ seeing you pressed against the bed, back arched so perfectly for him makes him want to fuck the shit out of you  

“you’re taking me so well.” kuroo groaned out, sinking his cock into you

you were currently facedown on the bed, kuroo fucking you from behind. 

he had been working his dick into you slipping inch after inch in slowly, mesmerized with the sight of your little cunt stretching out to take him.

as he finally sunk the last few inches into, you moaned lewdly. his dick was pressing against your sweet spot, and with his balls slapping against your clit you knew you would be cumming quickly.

kuroo started moving, setting a fast pace. 

moaning out into the pillow, you pushed back against his hips, fingers digging into the sheets. he felt so big inside you. slick pooling at his base, your gummy walls were dripping all over him and the sheets. 

rutting into your hips, kuroo looked down at you, nearly cumming at the sight. you were presented perfectly for him. with your back arched, your ass up and your face buried into the mattress.

leaning over your body, his chest flush with your back, he began sucking a red mark into your neck.

you whined. the feeling of his cock and his mouth was pushing you to the brink of orgasm, but you weren’t close enough. 

“tetsu please touch me,” you begged, desperate for some stimulation 

“i got you kitten,” he murmured, leaving one last mark on your neck before slipping his hand around your body to your swollen clit. 

prodding at it, it only took a few touches for you to completely fall apart, babbling and moaning into the bedding. 

kuroo fucked you through your high, easing up once you came down.

“tetsu did you cum?” you slurred out, twisting your torso to face him. 

“no princess,” he said softly, “do you want me to continue?”

“yes please,” you replied breathlessly, “want you to feel good.” 

turning back into the bed, you arched your back oh so perfectly again. 

kuroo grinned, you were so good for him and he loved it. 

part one

[the-phantom-ender]

Can I request Ranbob and Foolish? Wanna see how our favorite Dream kinnie would interact with our favorite totem god.

So. This is the first time I’ve ever attempted to write Ranbob. Forgive me if he’s a tad ooc ;^^ This might have to be the last request for tonight. I got a little carried away and it’s… past 2. 

ITS UNDER A READ MORE THIS TIME BECAUSE ITS ACCIDENTALLY LIKE 1.2K WORDS

To every power, there was a weakness. Every ability had a drawback. This was the nature of existence, a law of the universe. An action had an equal and opposite reaction, this was just how the world worked. And Foolish was as bound to the rules of the universe as any mortal man.

The acute awareness at death had long since been a thing he’d tuned out. Being a deity of the living and the dead, sensing every fallen existence was overwhelming, at one time. But eventually it had dulled into background noise. As familiar as breath. There were times, however, where a particularly tragic or abrupt death caught him off guard.

Long after the land of the Dream SMP was ancient history, regarded as folk tales and mythology, he felt this painful tug. There was a whisper, in the edges of his mind. The ocean itself seemed to be mourning, death and tragedy occurring under her blanket of darkness. His oceans did not cry out often, it was always oddly unsettling when they did. Perhaps a sailor had been caught in a storm and the waves regretted aiding in their passing?

For whatever reason, be it idiocy or curiosity, Foolish decided to check on things. To follow his ocean’s call to where she mourned. This led him to a vast underwater city. Now, of course, the god didn’t approach this place as himself. Instead, he shifted his appearance into that of a small catshark. Still a dangerous animal in a sense, but small and unassuming. Sharks were… his thing, alright? 

The city was alight with fire, water flooded into a room with a burning tree. Dark ash and smoke stained the sea black. Foolish just hardly noticed the body of a man among the wreckage. His heart was heavy. Certainly, the glass dome would shatter under the water pressure and send shards into the water, polluting and harming the environment. Once again, his heart ached for his ocean.

Gathering himself, he cast out his mind, sensing one living being in the entirety of the city. Abruptly, he shifted his appearance back into that of his own (albeit small enough to fit the halls of the city), appearing outside the ruined dome. He scanned the area sadly, drawing his attention to the opposite end of the hall. A man emerged, clearly startled by the presence of another. A bloodstained sword hung at his side. Foolish understood what this meant.

“Ah! Greetings!” The man spoke, a false sense of friendliness in his tone as he wiped the blade clean on his suit,” What brings you to Mizu? Do you, too, have an interest in the history of the great Dream SMP?” 

Right. So this was one of those people, huh? Not that Foolish had anything wrong with historians, of course! It was just… funny to see people tell tales of people he’d known. Especially if they were completely off base. And considering the familiar half toned appearance of the man before him, there was a decent chance he was. 

“Uh… something like that, yeah.” 

A smile grew on the man's face, Foolish noting the similarity to another smile he knew. “Right! Well then, my name is Ranbob. I am a descendant of the great and wise historian Ranboo! You’ll have to forgive me, I was not… expecting guests.” 

It took all the will he had for the god to not burst into laughter. The great historian Ranboo, eh? So that’s what history decided he became. That was a more flattering title than some past acquaintances of his had gotten, to be fair. 

“Foolish. It’s a pleasure to meet you Ranbob of Mizu.” A proper title. Foolish extended an arm for a handshake, emerald eyes sharp and dangerous. 

The handshake was taken, a handkerchief in between them. Ranbob’s eyes seemed cold. There was the same expression he’d seen in so many others in those eyes. A man who had given away his humanity in pursuit of a goal. The willingness to kill for their own gain. Still… this man was a descendant of Ranboo. There was still the clear haze of forgetfulness in his eyes. A trait that never went away, it seemed. 

“...Likewise.” a beat “Would you like a tour?” 

“If you'd like to give one.” 

Foolish stayed silent as he was brought between rooms. He knew this was a set up. He could tell that the person leading him was dangerous. Still, despite this, there was an odd charm to him. He’d learned, at this point, to appreciate the beauty in death. Sometimes, that was all you could do in the face of tragedy. By gods had Foolish seen enough tragedy to have a bit of beauty. 

He knew he was nearing the end of this encounter as Ranbob mentioned idols. Right, yes. Time had a tendency to turn normal people into those, putting them on a pedestal. Foolish had the excuse of being an old, old god. Even by the time that he’d met those of the Dream SMP, he was practically unheard of. At least it meant that he wasn’t recognized right away. Though… his temple was still standing. 

“Everyone in this place has their idols,” Ranbob hummed, leading him into a room that was immediately a red flag,” Would you like to know mine?”

Neon green.

“Who might that be, kid?”

“Dream! The god of the server! I aim to follow in his footsteps, to do as he did!” 

“You serve a false prophet, Ranbob.” 

“... What? No, no, don’t you say something like that. I know the history, my family wrote it!” The man gritted his teeth, expression souring,” I know what I know! And one thing I know for certain is that no one leaves Mizu alive!” 

And all at once, he charged. Foolish made no effort to deflect him, of course. His eyes simply glinted as the blade glanced off of his body- clearly making no dent in him. A green hue glimmered around him and his face fell. Ranbob hadn’t let him reason, it was a shame, honestly. He seemed to be a smart man.

“Dream is no god,” Foolish hummed, easily disarming Ranbob, who was promptly scooped up into a bear hug restraint,” He was a foolish mortal man with one hell of a god complex, though. You could stand to learn the lesson he never did. Cruelty is learned, life and death aren’t unkind, history is always doomed to repeat.”

“Let me go!” Ranbob thrashed in his iron grip, ears tilted down,” Let go of me! You know nothing! Nothing I say!”

“The totem knows nothing, eh?”

“N-no! The totem god isn’t- real! That was a myth even in the time of the SMP!”

Foolish squeezed the man harder, not quite hard enough to hurt. Ranbob’s goggles fell over his eyes as he tossed his head around uselessly. His heart hammered hard enough that the god could feel it in his grasp. This man was a murderer, sure, but Foolish didn’t like scaring others.

“Ranbob. If you’re looking for a god, I’m your best bet. Dream was a kid with a complex and, well, XD doesn’t exactly deal in mortal affairs unless someone’s breaking a rule. Or you’re GeorgeNotFound, but George is long dead at this point. If you want someone to teach you history, I have much scripture in my temple. If you’d like me to teach you, I can.” 

“Wh- huh?”

“You like history, right? Who’s a better source than someone who lived it?”

[fallout-drabbles-n-stuff]

Romanced Companions react to dreaming sole’s death

(Got a little carried away with my sexy synth men also..slight tw for gore/death)

Cait:

Dreams always sucked for Cait. Wether they were products of her hazed psycho-jet fueled delusions or just merely her sober mind, they never were good. Instead of dreaming of flying or stuff like that..she dreamed fucked up stuff.

For instance, without so much as an explanation she saw you..you who loved so much, lifeless.

Though she was subjected to such a disturbing dream, she woke peacefully from it. Well..peacefully meaning she didn't scream as the dream faded away. She wanted to. Oh god she wanted to scream, but she was still consciously aware of your sleeping body. So, relying on her faithful cure- she'd reach over to the night stand and take a swing of whatever drink she had before promptly grasping you in her muscular arms for the rest of the night.

Curie:

She tried so hard. She tried so very, damn hard. You had stumbled into your shared home, beaten to a pulp and unable to breath without gasping and wheezing. Instantly she'd jump to her feet, taking you to her makeshift clinic room, feverishly quick to inject you with as many chems she could to stop your pain...all for naught.

With a pained smile on your face, you left her. Your eyes sliding closed just as she screamed.

Suddenly she was ripped from what she thought was reality, being met with you, but instead of being broken and dead..you were just asleep.

She whimpered softly, nuzzling into your arms as she tried to forget all about the horror she just endured. Damn, she didn’t like this whole dreaming thing very much.

Danse:

Night terrors were a usual for Danse. It was just an unfortunate side effect of his ptsd, one he learned to cope with over time. His waking life wasn't much different after all, it was normal for him to watch people he was close to fall at his feet, usually because of a command he ordered. However things seemed to change when he grew close to you. Terrible nightmares seemed to slowly transform into sweet dreams of the life you and him created together, even once dreaming of a little child in his arms with you by his side.

Unfortunately tonight was very much so different.

It was a great fire fight, similar to the one he met you in. However instead of you crusading in guns blazing, the tables turned rapidly, effectively giving him some sort of whiplash. The next thing he knew, he had black robes on, similar to that of the courser you had slain months ago.

Pure terror arose when realization hit.

There you were, on your knees in front of him. Those loving eyes filled with fear and your nose obviously broken, blood streaming down your lips and dripping off your chin.

"M7-97, your orders stand." An unfamiliar voice spoke to him seemingly from nowhere.

Without any hesitation, he lifted the strange white gun in his hands, aiming right at your chest. Only stopping long enough to hear your breathless plea, before pulling the trigger.

With a sharp gasp he woke up, uncontrollably being thrust into a pathetic fit of sobs. Without meaning to, he actually woke you up, still unable to contain himself even as you brought him into your embrace. He'd only muster the strength to grab onto your arms, holding onto you for dear life as he cried out, blubbering out an explanation.

It was unlike him and a piece of him felt so very ashamed.

Deacon:

He was motionless. Just as he had seen your hazy, bleeding body in the confines of the hellish nightmare that woke him from an other wise restful sleep. Your presence, living that is, beside him had never felt so wonderful- and that truly was something considering how much he enjoyed your embrace. Being able to watch your chest rise and fall with each sleepy deep breath brought him down from the high of his fear, allowing him to focus on the rhythm- which slowly but surely brought him back the ability to rest.

Gage:

He’s a raider. He’s been one since a young age. Death, macabre visions and gore in general never bothered him the slightest, hell, he even started to enjoy it. At least he thought he did...that is until the lingering sight of your own demise came to him in a far too vivid dream.

Snapping his eye open, he’d instantly check the side of the bed next to him where he knew your motionless form still lain. It wasn’t like him to feel such dread. Seeing as you were still asleep, he felt no shame in acting upon his sudden instinct to squeeze you in a desperate embrace- burying his face into your chest and holding on until finally a much better, dreamless sleep took ahold of him.

Hancock:

Now was a good of a time as any to take a nice relaxing puff of jet.

His mind never really was restful, even without the influence of chems it always seemed to go places he despised. This couldn’t have been anymore true as it for some reason conjured the sickening picture of you in his dreams- holding your bloody midsection with a wiry grin before collapsing.

Sighing, he’d try to get rid of the image, huffing quick and continuous puffs so the chem would do its “magic”. At least you were still right there next to him. That much was all he wanted.

Macready:

He already had the trauma of seeing his ex wife die once before, hearing her screams as she was torn apart by ghouls...to be met with the same scene again, only you in her place- it was good enough to wake him up with a furious yell coming out of his lungs. Effectively waking you as well....

When asked what the hell happened, he’d blink away his newly formed tears and explain what had happened. It was one of the few times he allowed himself to cry like that, so unbridled.

Maxson:

He was a frequent sufferer of night terrors, always has been since a young age. However, very few compared to the pure horror he endured as he dreamt of your demise- the dream disturbing him the most because it was him who did it. Without his own control and screaming as his hands clasped around on your throat...

It was his silent tears that saved him from enduring the sight any longer, rousing him to awareness just to where he could blearily look at your peaceful slumbering form. Some more tears would slip past his sorrowful eyes as he immediately engulfed you, pulling you close to his chest so he could savor the feeling.

If you were to wake up during this, he'd just mutter some bullshit about being cold, sniffling as he did.

Nick:

It was horrific.

Every now and again when he'd allow himself sleep, he'd be haunted with the reoccurring vision of his pre-war conscious seeing the dead body of Jennifer Lands, his fiancée. The dream used to disturb him, a strange clenching in his chest but never had it truly made him feel horror.

That is until one night, you in his arms, he had the same dream. Only this time instead of Jennifer's bloodied face laying on the asphalt, it was you. His present love, the one he felt true love for. Everything was the same, the same clothes, same thugs standing above your lifeless form- only it was your beautiful face.

When he woke, he awakened with a hallow like sensation in his mechanical chest. Why would he ever dream something like that? How did he dream that?

Regardless of whatever conclusion he'd come to, he'd sigh and stroke your hair with a shaky hand- vowing to you in silence that he'd never allow such a gruesome fate befall you. He just wouldn't.

Old Longfellow:

Damn he hated dreams. His ex-wife never seemed to leave him in peace, haunting him in some new disturbing way every other night or so. However not even her ghostly sick smile could compare to the visage of your demise.

When had he been so disturbed he didn't quite know.

Regardless he'd wake silently, his ocean colored eyes scanning the room and only softening when he deemed it safe from troubles. With a shake of his head he'd lay back down onto the pillows, looking over to your peaceful expression and then deciding it was okay...you were still here...everything was going to be okay.

Piper:

She'd wake both you and herself as she shrieked in her sleep, effectively scaring the crap out of you as you clambered to a sitting position. Still rattled from her vision..she, she saw you..she saw you get shot..fuck. She'd breath heavy, her chest heaving with each sharp inhale.

After a while she'd calm, hugging you oh so close. It would be a while before she could go back to sleep, but so long as you were in her arms she'd feel a little better.

Preston:

He'd actually end up waking you up before himself, thrashing around and grunting as his face scrunched into a pained expression. He regularly had nightmares, usually based upon the massacre of Quincy. This one was different.

Shaking him awake you'd be met with tear filled chocolate eyes, his lip quivering the moment he processed who he was looking at. Within seconds he took you down into his chest, squeezing you tight and silently crying.

You would just have to do your best to comfort him.

Sturges:

It wasn't very common he'd even remember his dreams, and even when he did they were hardly ever coherent thoughts. Normally they'd just be random "blips" of color or scenes that made little to no sense. How he wished that his normal dreams would've been the case tonight.

Still, staying true to himself, he only had a few flashes of scenes- but what he could piece together was awful. One moment you stood with that kind smile of your's, two glasses of mutfuit juice in your hands- one already extended out to him. The next thing he knew, deafening whizzes of bullets rang through and you no longer where standing...instead you were face down....and...oh god.

His eyes snapped open, his heart pounding in his ears as tried to come down from the sick rush the nightmare gave him. He wasn't one to lose his lunch, but now he really felt like puking. As he came to and began to calm, he willed himself to look over at you, rolling onto his side so he could properly see you.

"Oh..sweetheart..." he whispered, not loud enough to wake you up. Sighing he'd lay down again, resting his head on your chest as he stroked your hair- that might've woke you up but..eh, oh well.

X6-88:

Death was quite literally in his job description. He'd seen copious amounts of people die. Be it explosions, torture, or even his own bullet shot between their eyes. It never bothered him a bit, at least not enough to make him care much less feel sorrow for the poor sons of bitches.

That is..until he dreamed of your death.

It was so painfully vivid. The thrill of the chase, the adrenaline coursing through his synthetic veins as he ran. His target right in front of him, ready for his execution. With a systematic like approach, he raised his laser pistol, aiming right at the back of the head before pulling the trigger.

But...when the "target" fell, bile quickly rushed up from his stomach. There you were, those eyes he loved so much lacking any light and gazing emptily up at the sky, a burned hole through your forehead.

Just like that he was released, shooting up with enough force to send the ragged blankets down his body. Wide silver eyes darting around the room as he processed the unfamiliar sensation of pure terror racking his body. Whenever he looked at you..your sweet face so calm and...thankfully..unharmed, he could relax. Steadying himself he'd sigh, laying back down restlessly, staying up the rest of the night so he could just take you in. If that dream ever became a reality......

Well, he prayed it didn't.

[popculturebuffet]

Star Vs: Stump Day Review or The Why Are You Booing Tom He’s Right Holiday Special

Before we start a special credit to @jess-the-vampire​ who I discussed the episode with during the writing process and brought up a LOT of good points that ended up going into this review. She clearly hates it as much as I do and had even more good reasons for it.  Happy Hanukah, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays Everybody! And today we got a big, fat, grotesque lump of coal to smash to pieces. And after a long, draining, if worth the effort scrooge review, and with this being something I needed to cross off my to do list this holiday season, I put this one here as I could use the cathariss of giving this steaming bowl of elephant piss a good thrashing. As you can tell unlike my usual reviews, I do not like this episode. This isn’t the FIRST i’ve not liked i’ve covered, but it is the first rather infamous one to me i’ve covered and not just a dead possum of an episode I ran into while reguarly covering an otherwise good show like “Quaraller’s Pass” or “Strife of the Party”. This one’s had it coming, making my top 8 worst christmas specials list last year, and while not the series worst outing, that’s a toss up between the finale and marco jr, it’s easily one of them. So while usually I like diving deeply into something good and picking apart while it’s good, if not ignoring any bad aspects, here i’m just going to take a hammer to this thing to explain why it dosen’t work and why it sucks dirty ass in thunderstorms. I might be overstating it a bit but probably not.  Nothing really new has happened since the last episode so the only new thing to cover is why i’m doing the episode here instead of after Monster Bash. And the simple reason is that like the Ducktales Halloween and Christmas specials, this episode clearly does not take place in the same time frame of the episode before or after it, with the next episode, The Bog Beast of Bogabah, taking place the day after Monster Bash. It’s most likely they simply held this episode over till Christmas and it dosen’t really fit in AFTER the huge game changer that is monster bash, especailly since the next three episodes after this all take place in rapid sucession, two on the same day one the day after them. So yeah i’m doing this one first and putting it ahead of monster bash on my episode guide for clarity’s sake. 

Good, so with all that settled, let’s unwrap this complete works of pauly shore shall we? We open on the titular Stump Day, essentially mewni’s christmas complete with Cocoa, carols and a gay couple and their equally adorable child. And Star, unsuprisingly is giddy for it as the actual chlidren, and wearing an adorable santaesque dress complete with horns on her santa hat. Seriously you cannot tell me tom didn’t get that for her. Fucking precious. Marco is more just confused and has his hood up and one of Star’s cousins asks uncle river to tell him the origin of stump day. River’s response.. is easily the best joke of the episode. 

“(in a jolly tone) ha ha, you don’t tell me what to do”

He does so anyway though: Basically when settlers arrived on Mewni they found themselves cold and griping with each other, and soon found a blizzard had struck.. but by huddling together under a magic stump, they all learned to get along or something like that and now once a year everyone gathers in warmth and camraderie.. or else. Before Marco can understandably question what “or else” means in this context, Star butts in when one of her cousins chastises the younger one who asked river the question for beliviing and says he’s real. It’s a nice touch as it fits star perfectly to still belivie in mewni’s horrifying version of santa. I forgot just how adorable and likeable the character was before the final season shot that to hell. How her energy could be infectious and how Eden Sher really brought her all to the performance, which is still the performance of her career and hopefully like Rider Strong she’ll do more voice acting eventually.  So that night as Star tucks in after wonderful  night of sleep, and to avoid her dad’s usual drunken chorus of Tom Jones “Sex Bomb”, and gets woken up by Marco who leads her to the dining hall because a windows broken to fix it with magic. Star entirely buys this flimsy story.. but as Jess pointed out, and as I missed hence the credit up top... she dosen’t bring her wand. She.. dosen’t bring her wand.. to go fix something with magic. Now i’ll grant next season shows she CAN fully do magic without it, and while not as powerful like her mom still has plenty of punch behind it.. especially when she does the rainbow fist thing. But it’s still.. weird she dosen’t think to grab it and feels out of character. While Star’s learned by this point not to rely on it, and as we’ll see gives it up entirely, one of the few bits of her character development that actually sticks, it still seems resonable she’d take it with her wherever she goes.. and usually SHE DOES. And her jammies, which are also adorable, seem to have pockets so the animators had no reason to not just stuff it in one. It would’ve made their job harder yes.. but then don’t have marco use an excuse that directly requires it then and draws attention to the fact the wand is missing, and the fact you blatantly just hoped we’d forget about it as it’d ruin the climax. 

It’s far from the worst thing in this episode..trust me we’re almost there. But this does bring me to a point.. so far the episode is GOOD. The comedy’s good, the setup for what’s about to happen is good, the holdiay setting is warm and inviting but weird enough to perfectly fit mewni, and River, much like his VA and homosexual talking boat portrayer Alan Tudyuk, is a national treasure as always. Whelp it’s all down hill from here bitches! Giddyup. 

So Marco announces a SUPRISE PARTY! And everyone’s there: Tom, Kelly, Ponyhead, Starfan14... oh yeah this is the first ep i’ve coverd with Starfan14 isn’t it? Starfan14 is star’s insane fangirl, voiced by series creator Derfron Nercy herself, who star happily tolerates despite clearly wanting to wear her skin. We’ve all been there. Also Jackie is transparently missing, though at least it’s SOMEWHAT reasonable as she and marco broke up a few .. months ago? I mean it is winter on mewni for this episode but the end of season 4 and the series is set at the start of summer, yet months still pass..... 

Confusing timeline aside, Jackie has every reason not to attend a party thrown by her ex for the girl who confesed she had feelings for said ex and it’s probably the only good decision Marco makes this entire episode that he wisely decided to give Jackie some space. And it says something a decision made entirely off screen that was probably because the creators genuinely forgot Jackie once she was out of the way so they could shift the love triangle stuff to Tom, Star and Marco instead of you know.. not doing that because most love triangles are annoying at best and utterly insufferable at worst. Case in point this episode but I can give out more about this aspect of things in a bit with more context. 

And to his credit, and as Jess backed me up on, Marco’s gesture is genuinely throughtful.. at least to start with. He got her a choclate fountain, brought all of her friends, and geninely just thought Star never celebrated her birthday on her birthday because it was you know the same day as christmas. As someone whose birthday is a week before christmas, December 16th if you were curious, I understand the pain of having your birthday in the same month as christmas. Of having all your presents clustered at once and of having to manuver around a very stressful season, though it does sometimes have perks like getting to celebrate your birthday and christmas, it also means your birthday is secondary and always will be to most people due to proximity. And Star has hers ON mewman christmas, so it’s even worse. So from Marco’s perspective, TO START, his best friend constantly had to share her birthday with her faviorite holiday and just wanted to do something nice. SO FAR, he’s done nothing wrong and just means well. That’s... about to end.  Star.. instead of being greatful.. starts muttering no before going on an manic rampage and destroying everything including hte band’s insturments. And apparnetly star’s gotten some flack for her behavior.. but I understand it. To her the stump is VERY real, and will be very angry if someone else celebrates so to her all she’s doing is saving her best friend from the holiday equilvent of the trees from evil dead, and when Marco asks about it she GENUINELY is sorry, getting he meant well, that he was being sweet, and that he did a lot of nice stuff for her.. she just can’t celebrate not because she loves the holiday but because again, from her persepctive, the stump will kill them all if they don’t support it. She is genuinly affraid for her friends lives and given she could go grab her wand and fight it, clearly thinks she, with all her CONSIDERABLE powers, cannot win this, and neither can tom whose powers are almost entirely fire based. Star is just trying to protect her friends from being horribly murdered. And she turns out to be entirely right about it so no, star was not a jerk here. A bit over the top, but she was not insensitive, she was not mean, she just didn’t want a party for understandable reasons.

So let’s get to actually insensitive shall we?! Marco’s reaction to this is at first confusion as he didn’t realize the stump was real, though Tom, Kelly and Pony are convinced it’s not. Also this episode implies Kelly is from mewni, but she turns out not to be so why she knows about the stump I genuinely don’t know. They think it’s just a baby thing.. though in Tom’s defense he dosen’t phrase it that way, thinks star still beliving is cute, which for a teenage boy finding out his girlfriend belivies in santa is very sweet and mature of him, and is trying to be nice about it even if he doesn’t believe.  But Marco.. his response to his friend having a good reason for not wanting to have the party.. is to complain about how much effort he put into it and try to guilt and bribe her into having it by mentoining he got her faviorite cake flavor, rainbow. Just.. WOW. I’ve seen some bad turns from characters, but WOWWWWWW. Holy shit.. I mean at least other jerkass marco episodes before this had SOME reasoning to them. Sophmore Slump had him clearly sublimating his feelings for star combined with the usual obnoxiousness of someone having gone abroard for the first time, which as Letterkenny recently went into, the only thing worse is Stillborn Puppies. Nothing else. 

And with Lint Catcher while he was presumptive and not blameless.. river still outright lied to him. Here? It’s clear star dosen’t want this, cake can be refigirated, he only takes a loss on the choclate fountain and he could still just let everyone have some and say it’s for stump day to appease her. He dosen’t have to take a loss on this finacially or morally and there would be no harm done. But that’s.. not what HE wanted, not waht HE set up and he wants what HE wanted, which was to impress star with a thoughtful gesture. But that’s the thing bud: Gestures aren’t about you or what you get. Their about doint something nice for another fucking person. It’s the whole point of christmas and birthdays: To just give someone something to be ncie and to celebrate the day and them respectively. If she dosen’t WANT your gift for understandable reasons and isn’t being rude about it you don’t have any leg to stand on you seflish twatwaffle. 

So already Marco is not coming off well.. and if you know this episode you know it gets worse. Oh god it gets worse. So first PONYHEAD of all people calls out Marco.. and for once, PONYHEAD, the most selfish, most unresonable and a character whose tolerablity varies on the episode, tells him he’s being selfish and is only pressing on because of his need to control things. So not only is Ponyhead right but the episode LIKELY wants you to feel she’s wrong because she’s pony which is not how this work as she knows star well and thus, while unaware she still belivied in the stump, which tracks as while it’s obvious she does Pony is so up her own whatever she has that functions as an ass, it’s understandable she’d miss some details. So no Pony’s right, and the fact PONY is one of the more resonable people in this episode is both a sign of the apocalypse, which is thankfully starting to recede, and a clear marker of just how bad Marco’s being if someone who torments him and disagrees with him out of principal is entirely right. 

Oh but it gets worse as next up, Tom steps in and tries to get Marco to back out, admitting he told him this was a bad idea. Now granted Tom did mess up by not stepping in to stop this a bit.. but he A) didn’t know how much his girlfriend genuinely belivied in the stump and B) Probably assumed Marco meant well, as would I before he whined about not getting his way, and decided it was worth a try. So he’s not that bad, and while it is a bit ehhh to try and take back credit for this when he participated, it’s still minor and Marco is still being a huge dick who refuses to help shut things down when it’s clear the party is only causing star to have a panic attack and assault some humble marachi players. He sees nothing good is coming from this and just wants what star wants. Also it paints Marco in a worse light as he was warned about this, and was so obssed with making it a suprise party because that’s how his plan went, he refused to just.. talk to her about it. Hell he could’ve just casually asked “Why do you never celebrate your birthday on your birthday”. It’s an easy question, dosen’t give the game away and allows him to gage if this is a good idea or not BEFORE baking a cake , hiring a band and getting a chocolate fountain. Instead he just went ahead with it.  And he did so.. because this ISN’T about making Star happy. This is abotu HIM making star happy. Him showing her how thoughtful, and considerate and sweet he is and how he’s always been there for her and how maybe she should be with him instead of Tom. I mean it just comes off that way.. he made it a suprise party because in his head that’s how it worked and she was super impresed and left tom that day to be with him in some elaborate fantasy. Granted the episode dosen’t say this.. but it sure as hell acccidently implies hte hell out of it by having marco act like a selfish ass who refuses to take what STAR wants into consideration, and just wants to get his fantasy back on track. What supports this to me is how he treats tom, you know one of his best friends: He, again, accuses him of forgetting.. then calls him a bad boyfriend.. a bad boyfriend for NOT wanting to force a celebration on his girlfriend she does not want, and for not forcing it on her. For you know GROWING AS A PERSON.  Beacuse here’s the pickle pumpernickle: This thing Marco’s doing? Is exactly the kind of thing a pre-character development TOM did, that was rightfully framed as bad. Being controlling, wanting things to go JUST a certain way instead of letting them flow naturally, not getting the hint star isn’t intrested, and not caring about what she wants and only what you want. Marco is doing the same thing Tom used to do. And for starters i’ts already bad because you know MARCO WAS THE ONE WHO FINALLY GOT IT THROUGH TO TOM THAT THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR WAS TOXIC AND SELFISH. But apparently when it’s Marco himself doing it it’s fine. If there was ever any clear evidence Marco regressed as a character, there it is.  Him actively unelarning a lesson he taught someone else and then getting combative when that person rightly tries to call him out. Marco is just insufferable in this episode: He’s being selfish, creepy and posseive and he’s apparenlty supposed to, at least on some level BE RIGHT.  But.. we will get to that. Consider a pin put in this rant. 

So Tom overreacts, and throws some fire at marco, which is genuinely wrong and Kelly’s right to call him out, and then headlocks him asking marco to say he’s a good boyfriend. Marco screams out ‘NEVVVEEEERRRR”

I just made this, by hapinstance, while watching the video I put up there. I.. I did not think i’d get to use this so soon but my god. Just my god that’s a terrible thing to say.  So the party soon breaks down elsewhere as Kelly is mad at tom for.. understandable reasons again the guy she has a crush on was just nearly set on fire, even if i’m still on Tom’s side overall here, it’s still not right. Janna points out it’s probably because she has a crush on marco, which while acurate dosen’t mean she was wrong and Tad pops out to be upset about that. Even though you know you two are broken up and as Kelly points out he needs to move out. Pony is mad she’s not getting any attention and Starfan is mad because star’s mad. Star results to desperate measures, opening the windows to try and repeate the act of the settlers.  She didn’t however count on the Janna factor as she throws the stump in the fire, which is in chracter. What’s not, and again I give Jess full credit for this one, is that everyone just starts.. warming around the stump and not caring like a bunch of jackasses not caring about their close friend, and in tom’s case, girlfriend’s feelings. Also tom and marco apparently stopped fighting just to be this stupid. 

But naturally burning the symbolic stump is a bad idea and the real one attacks. Protip: If you live in a world of magical nonsense, maybe don’t discount the magic stump. Everyone’s captured, including moon and river, with River also being suprised and replying to Star’s annoyance at him not beliving with “Sweetie it’s a stump!”. Alan Tudyk is a god and I feel you all should acknowleddge that. But yeah everything seemsm to be bad but everyone apologizes, if not for the right things in Marco’s case, and Tom says “I’m sorry i’m a bad boyfriend!”. You .. you aren’t. You did nothing wrong. I feel like this is tom for the last agrivating 6 minutes of the episode

He did SOME THINGS wrong but he is NOT a bad boyfriend. He is throughtful, kind and while he has flaws, SO DOES STAR. He is not a bad boyfriend for not wanting to repeat past abusive actions! GAH. Let’s just get on with it. They all hold hands, they thiunk this is what made the stump go away but Star is sure it was just going to kill them, Moon and River have a thousand yard stare as they realize they both have to get repairs for this room now and do an extra big stump day next year to make sure it dosen’t come back. And Marco apologizes to star.. for not beliving her. Not for forcing this on her, not for causing all of this, not at all to tom, but for not beliving her while star FUCKING APOLOGIZES TO HIM.  Pin removed, bullshit falling to the floor... Trunks if you would. 

Thank you. Star DID NOTHING WRONG. Tom DID LESS WRONG THAN MARCO. WHY ARE THEY APOLOGIZING. Why is this little shithead getting everything he wants as the party happens after all, if a day later, and he gets to dance with star, while everyone else is painted as being in the wrong? That’s what makes this special so putrid: that MARCO is apparently in the right for doing the same , if on a smaller scale, manipulative shit tom used to do before he grew as a person, yet the episode sides with him, props him up and teases Starco. If it’s Starco it’s okay apparently and that’s.. not okay. You can’t .. build a ship on a character acting like a jackass. That’s not how this works. Marco was wrong, he was bad and he should FEEL bad. Instead he’s just a creepy jerk this entire episode, being entitled, manipulating star, screaming at tom.. and gets REWARDED FOR IT. Fuck this episode. 

FINAL THOUGHTS: I believe I said Fuck this episode.  This is easily one of star vs’ worst episode and much like the season after this episode it gets worse the more you think about it. I put it on my worst holiday episodes list for a reason.. and frankly even with the decent first 4 mintues it should be higher. It’s an unplesant mess that throughly ruins Marco’s character and takes him from a kind, upstanding, polite and bright young man to a creepy manpiulative jackasss. Fuck this episode and have a happy holidays. 

[bigoltrashpile]

So a little while ago, the lovely @rainysquiggles asked to do a collab, and here it is!!!  This is just a fluffy little oneshot loosely based off of this post of theirs that made me laugh so much harder than it should have

You yawned and leaned against Butch’s side.  For a skeleton, he was surprisingly very comfortable!  It almost felt like he was a human, with skin and fat and muscle under his clothes, even if you knew he was just bones.  You snuggled closer to him, eyes drifting shut as the cheesy crime movie played on the tv.  An equally cheesy pizza sat on the coffee table, already half eaten.

Butch stacked two slices on top of each other and shoved them in his mouth.  “Why do you always do that?” you asked sleepily.

“heh, your stomach don’t count the calories if it thinks it’s one slice,” Butch joked.

“That’s so stupid!”

“you’re so stupid!”

The two of you laughed at that.  “We’re mature,” you chuckled.

You and Butch fell into relative silence as the movie unfolded.  “what the hell do they mean by sex addiction?” Butch finally asked.

“Oh, it’s just like...I guess like getting addicted to anything else, but with sex, you know?” you said.  “Like alcoholism, but for sexy times.”

“oh i get it,” Butch nodded wisely.  “like when someone drinks too much.  or snorts cocaine.  or bets the house on the ponies.”

“Yeah babe, you got it!” you grinned.

But Butch wasn’t finished.  “or like when someone smokes too many cigarettes.  or like when someone shops too much with credit cards.”

“Yep, that’s ri-”

“or like when someone plays too many scratchy lotteries.  or like when someone eats too much chocolate cake.  or like wheeeeen someone eats too much chocolate ca-”

“SANS!” you shrieked, laughing uncontrollably.

Butch laughed too, his large torso bouncing up and down.  “s-sorry doll, your face was priceless!”

You huffed, trying not to grin.  “Can you blame me?  I thought you would stop after the ponies or whatever!”

“nope!  i’m a scary mobster, doll,” Butch winked.  He poked your cheek teasingly.  “i know aaaaaaall about different addictions.”

“Except for sex addiction, apparently.”

“heheheh, true!  but hey, i can see myself gettin’ addicted to sex with you~” he teased, leaning close to your face and wiggling his eyebrows.

You pushed him away, blushing a little.  “S-shut up!”

“what’s wrong, babe?  ya gettin’ flustered?~”

You were, truthfully, but you weren’t about to admit defeat.  “No, it’s just that your breath smells like cheese!”

Butch snorted and fell back.  “oh no, ya mean it doesn’t smell like mustard?  this is a nightmare!”

“Suffer!” you glared playfully.  You were positive that you had the >:3 face right now.

Butch put his hand on his forehead like a damsel in distress and fell backwards.  “oh no, whatever shall i do?”

You cackled wickedly.  “Mwahahaha, I am victorious!!”

You didn’t have time to panic when Butch smirked and tackled you.  He pushed you back onto the couch, growling playfully.  You squeaked in shock, but the sound quickly turned into laughter as Butch started to tickle your stomach mercilessly.

“N-no, pleeeeease!” you begged through giggles.  “I-I, stoooooop!!!!”

“no, suffer,” Butch retorted, still tickling.

He kept attacking you and laughing while you thrashed and squealed.  “BUUUUUUUUTCH!!!”

“scream my name, babe~” Butch joked, wiggling his eyebrows.  He finally pulled back, leaving you panting for breath.  He laid his head down on your stomach like you were a human sized pillow.

“You...are such an asshole,” you panted.

“thanks,” Butch smirked.

You snorted and pat his skull like he was a puppy.  “You’re an asshole...but I still love you.”

“aw thanks, i love ya too,” Butch smiled up at you.  “even if ya can’t handle someooooone bettin’ the house on the ponies.  or eating too much chocolate cake.  or smokin’ too many cigarettes.  or-”

“I’m gonna kill you!!!”

[sithisreadingcorner]

hi hello!! hehe it's me 😁– I don't remember if I ever told you my name so my initials are DPK🧍😁 so my question for the reading is what path should I be on, like I guess career wise since this entire thing was brought on by me going to uni. I was born on the 27th of January 2003. I dont really have a favorite eye emoji buuuttt my favorite song (gosh choosing favorites is kinda hard... like an all time favorite 😟😟) is I think Black swan by bts. Also thank you again💗

Welcome back DPK dear!! 💗 Would you believe, but I never heard much of BTS except that they are very popular (but never heard of any of their songs or anything). But guess what we are vibing to tonight!!

Whoa, my cards are super eager to talk to you. I swear one of the cards just fell into position without me even noticing.

seven of needles reversed. ace of potions reversed. three of candles reversed eight of potions. queen of needles.

four of presents reversed

Wow, it's really that bad, huh? So much chaos in here. Its like everything is upside down. But you know what, let me start this reading ass backwards. The second row, this is the Hashtag Girlboss Shit scenario. I would believe you are still pretty early into your studies, yeah? I think, that if you REALLY, TRULY want to completely change your course, you can, and now would be (in theory) a good time. Where you are, in this point, is basically that you can do whatever you want. Howeverrrrr... if you ask me, I dont really think that you should do it. That's just my personal opinion based on these cards, idk the situation, but. I dont think that this is what you really want. I know that this feels like "Shit. I need to get outta here" But I still don't buy it. I think thats a superficial impulse.

I think, that something happened, that the cards dont talk about so maybe it was not even relevant to your career, but it made you scared, and made you panic. Now you are just thrashing around and can't really get a hold on anything. First - HUUUGE deep breath. You haven't failed anything, and you don't have to be afraid or disappointed. The situation you are in must be really new to you, and I think that would be shocking to anyone.

Before you can really get that grip back, you have to admit something. I don't know, to who, but I think it's very likely that to yourself. Let's say, if you really want to change course, you have to come clean about it that this was not what you originally wanted and you chose it for the wrong reasons, to appease somebody else, idk. Or maybe you just have to admit that you were too lax and disorganized and I know that might be humiliating to admit but it's okay. I actually don't know what this is about because the cards don't say it directly. But I would expect that the reason why they are silent on it is cause you deep down know. It's nothing to be really ashamed about, however. Happens to anyone. You get up on your feet, fix it, girlboss it. Done and done.

I do think that being disorganized is a part of your issue though. You either were very organized before this and now you don't know how to get back to it, or you were kinda all over the place before and this is the core issue you need to work on right now. But I mean this in the most mundane, everyday way. Get a calendar, make a schedule, wake up everyday punctually, that kind of stuff. I know this kinda sucks but this will help you so much get back the grip on your life. If you build up the habits in time, they will become so much easier later.

I know this might seem like a bad omen but however your new year started is of no consequence. That doesn't mean you were doomed from the start, just get back on your shit, adjust the crown, and the chaos will slowly transform back into clarity. You got this. You notice that there isn't a single major arcana in your reading, which is very rare. That means that the cards are now absolutely, fully in your hands.

I hope that was helpful, and you are welcome back any time. 💖

tip 💜

[dameronology]

the one with the early morning (poe x reader)

summary: you’re the opposite of the morning person - a grumpy, bleary-eyed mess with a caffeine addiction. it’s a good thing that poe dameron really loves you. 

i love domestic fics and i especially love them with poe so this is fluff without plot oops 

warnings: language (naturally) 

enjoy,

- val xx 

Your mornings had become a lot brighter since you began waking up in Poe Dameron’s arms. 

You were still a vehemently anti-morning person but being woken up by the Resistance pilot rather than a blaring alarm clock certainly took the edge off. You usually woke up in the same position; his bare chest pressed to your back, arms wrapped around your waist and legs tangled together. Poe’s face was usually buried in the crook of your shoulder, his curly hair tickling your neck in a sensation that simply felt natural now. 

‘Baby.’ His voice was always a little croaky first thing in the morning. ‘We gotta get up.’

‘Mmm.’ You couldn’t help but smile as he pulled a few strands of hair out your face, his warm hands brushing against your cheek. ‘I don’t think so.’

You felt Poe’s chest rumble slightly against your back as he let out a sleepy chuckle, arms giving your waist a light squeeze. ‘We have a meeting. I don’t think Leia will accept couldn’t get your ass out of bed as an excuse for being late.’

‘You love my ass.’

‘I do love your ass but right now, you need to get it into gear.’

You rolled over, face just inches away from Poe’s as your eyes met. His dark curls were slightly disheveled, sticking up in a thousand different directions. He was smiling at you sleepily - almost dreamily - as his large hand absent-mindedly combed through your hair. It was a sight that you could have basked in forever (and that was your plan, after all) and it only made you more determined to not move. If this was his attempt at trying to get you out of bed, it was one at which he was failing horribly. 

‘This mattress is my true love.’ Burying your head in his chest, you let out a small sigh. ‘We are one. We will not be separated-’

-You let out a small shriek as the pilot suddenly grabbed you, one arm worming around your waist and tearing you out from underneath the sheets. The cold air of your bedroom hit your bare skin, giving you further cause to scream and thrash around. Talk about a nasty wake-up call. 

‘Poe Dameron!’ You snapped, scowling as he placed you on the floor. ‘That was rude-’

‘- We’re gonna be late.’ He pressed a kiss to your nose, and your frown momentarily evaporated. ‘And I think you’ll find that I am your one true love, not that mattress.’

‘You'll pay for that.’ You pointed at him, walking backwards as you retreated to the refresher. ‘Mark my words, Dameron.’

‘I look forward to it.’

You gave him one last glare before spinning around and retreating into your little en-suite. Above all, you were simply grateful that Poe had convinced you to shower with him the night before so that you’d have more time this morning - though you suspected he might have had an ulterior motive. Either way, it gave you an extra twenty minutes to lull around and whine. 

Poe - now in his work clothes - soon joined you. He pressed a soft kiss to your cheek as he passed, forcing a pile of clothes into your hands. The button up shirt that he’d handed you was actually his, something that caused you to smile slightly despite your grouchiness. 

You’d come to learn in recent months that Poe Dameron expressed his love for you through menial tasks and tiny actions. He was capable of grand gestures of love but if you read between the lines, it was easy to see that his feelings for you were clear and present every day; he remembered exactly how you liked your caff and he always picked the anchovies off of your pizza because he knew you hated them. He’d bring you dinner if you were working late and you’d sometimes drift off on the sofa and wake up to find he’d put a blanket over you. 

He saved your ass both on missions and in everyday life. You were forever grateful for your flyboy. 

After finishing up getting ready, you exited the refresher only to be met by Poe shouting. He was waist deep into your wardrobe, rifling through to try and find something. 

‘Head’s up!’ He yelled. A second later, one of your boots came flying towards you. You ducked just in time, narrowly missing the second one as it hit the wall behind you. ‘Why do you always shove your shoes so far to the back of the closet?’

‘Why do you toss them across the room?’ You shot back, tugging them both on. 

‘I said head’s up.’ Poe replied. 

‘Saying head’s up when it’s already flying towards my face doesn’t do much.’ You couldn’t help but smile. 

You leant up to press a soft kiss to Poe’s lips, smiling against him as he wrapped an arm around your waist. Okay - there were some moments in the morning that you enjoyed. 

‘You got everything?’ Poe asked. ‘Mission report? Files? Keys?’

‘Yup - check, check and check.’ You replied. ‘You got Beebs?’

The beeping of the BB-unit beside your feet quickly answered your question, circling the two of you as he bumbled on about early is on time, on time is late. Before meeting the little droid, you’d had no idea that they were capable of being such sticklers for the rules, sometimes to the point of annoyance - not that you were mentioning names. 

(Threepio). 

‘In that case,’ Poe intertwined his fingers with yours, ‘we should head out before you try and climb back into bed.’

He pulled you out of the room and down the corridor, winding an arm around your shoulder. He still kept your fingers intertwined, thumb gently ghosting the back of your hand as you walked alongside each other. None of your colleagues blinked an eye at the displays of affection; everyone knew that Poe was a physically affectionate guy. It was pretty common to find him attached to Snap like a clingy sloth every-time they drank or falling asleep on Finn’s shoulder in a meeting. 

Once you reached the mess hall, Poe pulled you inside. There were a few people sitting around eating breakfast, drinking cups of caff and covering the Resistance-issued oatmeal in sugar to try and make it edible. 

‘Hey guys.’ Finn smiled at you when your eyes met. You took a seat opposite him at the table whilst Poe went off to get coffee.

 Rey was next to your Finn, Threepio on her other side. You didn’t bother to ask why a droid was there, given that he couldn’t eat, but he’d assimilated himself into the human race so well that you often forgot he wasn’t one of you.

‘Morning,’ you rubbed your eyes, dropping your head against the cold metal of the table. 

‘Late night?’ Finn asked, waggling his eyebrows. ‘Is Poe keeping you up?’

‘The opposite, actually.’ You grumbled. ‘He practically kicked me out of bed this morning.’ 

Poe was probably the only person in the whole base - nay, the whole galaxy - who could do such a thing and get away with it. It was a widely-accepted fact across the Resistance that the wise thing to do in the morning was to avoid you. Nobody was accusing you of being unfriendly, unsociable and as dangerous as a gundark nest but Leia had definitely used those exact words in that exact order. 

‘Today won’t be too long.’ Rey offered words of comfort. ‘Just a few meetings, a few briefings and you can return to your bed.’

‘Actually,’ Threepio held his finger in the air, head tilting between the two of you. ‘Today is supposed to run until at least 6PM.  According to my schedule-’

‘- Threepio.’ Finn warned. ‘I wouldn’t-’

‘- and then tomorrow we have an even earlier start!’ The droid continued. 

‘You should listen to Finn.’ You lifted your head from the table, thinning your eyes. 

‘The agenda for next week is even more exciting.’ He continued. 

‘Read the room, Threepio!’

Before you could flip the table and launch yourself at the poor droid, Poe had re-appeared beside you, placing a cup of caff in front of you. He took the seat next to you, the feeling of his arm around your waist almost being enough to calm you down. 

‘I know that expression.’ The pilot declared. ‘It’s the Y/N needs her coffee or she’ll throttle Threepio look.’ 

‘You know me so well.’ You took the mug of caff, pressing a kiss to his stubbly cheek. 

‘That’s love.’ The pair of you raised your hands at the same time, meeting halfway in a strangely co-ordinated but not-at-all-planned high five. 

[handwrittenhello]

Tangled Up in You

Geraskefer, T, no warnings, 2.6k, Mer AU. written for @penny-anna! based on @journeythroughunknownlands' incredible art of prawnskier :3 When Jaskier finds Geralt tangled in a net, he seeks out the sea-witch Yennefer for her help, but she wants something in return. read below or here on ao3

Jaskier didn’t often consider his size an advantage. Shrimp, after all, were both subject to hunting by the larger predators of the sea, and went largely unnoticed by the larger breeds of mercreatures. More than once Jaskier had had to dart away to a hiding place when a hungry mouth had come snapping. He craved attention, sure, but certainly not like that!

Today, though, his small size would prove to be an advantage for once.

He was out near the old fishing grounds, a place usually not frequented for fear of being seen and hunted by the humans that skimmed across the surface of the sea. It was a good place to find things, old junk the humans had discarded that winked and sparkled brightly under the refracted sunlight that filtered through the water.

Plus, as mentioned earlier, fish were largely wise enough to avoid the place, so Jaskier could relax his guard some as he sorted through the treasures on the seabed.

He was contemplating taking home an old silver locket—it was rather large for him, and useless besides, but so pretty—when he heard the sounds of a struggle. He darted inside the nearest hiding place he could see, a beat-up tin can, quailing at the thought of danger. But the sounds continued, far off, and after a few moments his curiosity got the better of him.

He peeked his head out, scanning all around him for the source of the disturbance. There, to the north past the seaweed forests, movement. Swimming as quickly as he could, he wove his way between tall strands of seaweed, the sounds of thrashing becoming clearer, interspersed with low grunts and cursing. Another mer!

He broke through the weeds to see someone tangled up tight in a large fishing net. Jaskier caught a glimpse of scales, a scarred fin, sharp teeth bared—he was a shark!

But, tangled as he was, and with no sign of freeing himself soon, there was no real danger. Despite his instincts yelling at him to flee, to hide, Jaskier swam closer, deftly avoiding the shark’s flailing tail and coming to float next to his head. The shark didn’t seem to have noticed him at all yet.

“In a bind?” Jaskier asked, tail twitching. Golden eyes snapped to focus on the small shrimp, teeth still bared in a snarl. “I could help you,” he continued. “I’m Jaskier, pleasure to meet you.”

“I don’t need help,” the shark growled.

Jaskier huffed, swimming closer. “Hold still and let me see.”

The shark growled again, but stilled, allowing Jaskier to wiggle between the ropes of the net. It was knotted around his dorsal fin where he couldn’t reach, and his thrashing had only drawn it tighter around him.

“Ah, here we are,” Jaskier said, circling around to the knot. It was a nasty one; no amount of pulling would loosen it. He checked that the shark couldn’t see, and then, feeling foolish, tried to bite through the ropes. He made little progress, his teeth simply too small to gnaw through such thick ropes.

“Well?” the shark rumbled, tail fin twitching. “If you can’t do anything, go away. Your legs tickle.”

Jaskier once more squeezed between the ropes of the net, coming around in front of the shark. “Worry not! I know of a sea witch, Yennefer, who will surely be able to help.”

“I won’t tangle with any witches.”

“Well, I’d like to see you stop me, tangled as you are with that net,” Jaskier said cheekily. The shark tried to lunge, snapping his teeth, but Jaskier deftly swam out of the way. “Stay put, I’ll be right back,” he added, somewhat unnecessarily, as the shark seemed to slump, still caught in his bonds.

Jaskier swam quickly to the witch’s cave, which was just on the edge of the fishing grounds, far enough away from civilized society that she wasn’t often bothered—which was exactly as she liked it, Jaskier suspected. He had never been there, but he’d heard tales of it—the eerie flickering light that bounced off the cave’s walls, the fronds of dark seaweed that obscured the entrance, the bones that lined the bottom.

The cave was exactly as the stories told, and a frisson of—something close to fear, but not quite, maybe anticipation?—shivered through him. He was small enough that the fronds of seaweed proved to be no entrapping maze, though the tiny bones he swam over gave him a deep sense of dread. Hopefully they had belonged to fish only, and not to those who dared disturb the witch of the sea.

As he delved deeper into the cave, twisted shadows began to writhe along the cave walls. What dark magic was the witch weaving?

Good sense finally got the better of him, and he slowed to a stop, peeking around a corner into the true hollow of the cavern. It was large, but not gloomy at all despite its outward appearance. Holes at the top opened to let sunlight in, and colorful schools of fish swam among the rainbow of coral that grew on all sides.

And in the center floated a figure hunched over a gleaming orb that shimmered and sparked. The shadows resolved themselves into tentacles, mirroring the witch’s inky appendages—of which she had many—that wrapped around the orb.

She was chanting lowly in some language Jaskier didn’t recognize, the total of her focus on whatever spell she was performing.

It was, of course, the perfectly wrong moment to sneeze. So Jaskier did.

Yennefer faltered, stumbling over her strange words. The orb’s light dimmed and then died. “Fuck!” she cursed, shaking the now-useless ball of glass. Her head whipped round, her eyes piercing him with their violet gaze, pinning him helplessly in place.

With a flick of her finger, he found himself being rushed forward of no will of his own. He yelped, legs trying fruitlessly to cling onto something. He came to a stop hovering in front of her face, looming over him so close.

“What foolish little shrimp dares to enter the cave of a witch?” she asked, her hair floating around him as if it had a mind of its own, aiming to snare him.

“My name is Jaskier,” Jaskier replied, relieved that his voice didn’t waver. “I’ve come to request your help, Madame Witch.”

“You know such a thing doesn’t come freely,” she warned. “I require something in return.”

“L-like what?” Jaskier asked. “I don’t have much, but you could take a look at my treasures for payment.”

“Mm, no, I was thinking something a little more… personal,” she purred, circling him. Jaskier had never felt more like prey in his life. “Your voice.”

“My voice?” he squeaked. “But—”

“That’s my price, little shrimp. Will you pay it?” Looking into her eyes, he knew there was no negotiating. He could, he supposed, just leave, but he couldn’t bear the thought of the shark slowly wasting away to death tangled in that net.

“Fine,” he said, then gagged as it seemed to catch in his throat. He could almost feel it being pulled out of him, a long string of glowing magic like an eel from his throat to her hands.

Then it snapped, and when Jaskier opened his mouth and tested his voice, no sound came out—not even a squeak.

“Now,” Yennefer said, “show me what you need help with.”

It was only a short swim back to the fishing grounds, and Jaskier spotted the shark still there tangled in the net. He pointed, hoping his meaning was clear and she wouldn’t try to eat him or something.

She swam closer, but to Jaskier’s dismay, didn’t immediately begin freeing the shark. The shark’s teeth bared as she approached, sensing danger.

“Oh, relax, I’m not here to hurt you,” Yennefer said, rolling her eyes. “It seems you’re in quite the bind. What’s your name?”

“If you’re just here to gloat, then fuck off,” the shark said tiredly, closing his eyes. “Geralt.”

“No, luckily for you, a certain little shrimp has negotiated your release,” she replied, and with a wave of her hand, the net began to untangle, sliding over the shark’s mottled tail. In short order the shark was free, and quickly swam up to face them. He was much more intimidating up close and unbound. Jaskier fought the instinct to hide in Yennefer’s hair.

“Negotiated? What did you take?” Geralt demanded.

“I took nothing.” The shark bared his teeth, not buying it. Yennefer sighed. “He gave me his voice in return for freeing you. You might show a little more gratitude, by the way.”

“Give it back,” Geralt said bluntly. Jaskier’s heart leaped.

“And why should I?”

“He owes you nothing. Besides, what need have you for a shrimp’s voice?”

She considered it, tapping one fingernail against her lip. “Hmm. You’ll take on his debt in return, then?”

“Depends,” Geralt replied. “I might help you. Return his voice first.”

“You're no fun,” Yennefer said, but gestured Jaskier forward. He came closer with some trepidation, but all she did was flick a finger, performing another spell, and with a rush Jaskier felt his voice return to him.

“I can talk!” Jaskier shouted, swimming in a quick little circle. “See, I knew you were a big softie,” he said, swimming close to Geralt and tugging lightly at a strand of hair. The shark hissed in annoyance, but didn’t swat Jaskier away.

“My payment,” Yennefer said impatiently. “There’s a shipwreck, deep at the bottom of the great crater to the east. I want you to retrieve something for me.”

“Why don’t you just go yourself?” Jaskier piped up. “Surely the great sea witch Yennefer can brave one measly little shipwreck.”

“There’s a magic signature there, quite unpleasant to be around for very long. You, however, should have no problem.”

“Hmm. And what am I retrieving?”

“An amphora. It belonged to a sorcerer of great importance. You’ll know it by the eight-pointed star on the seal.”

“That’s it?” Geralt asked, wrinkling his brow.

“What else would there be? I have no need of gold or jewels. Magic interests me far more.”

Geralt sighed. “Where will I find you afterwards?”

“My cave. Your shrimp knows the way.”

“He’s not my shrimp,” Geralt growled. “He’s not coming.”

“Oh, I most certainly am!” Jaskier argued, swimming up to his face and pointing a finger at him sharply. “You think I’d miss the opportunity to explore a shipwreck?”

“It’s too dangerous. And it’s my debt, not yours.”

In response, Jaskier dove at Geralt’s gently waving hair, entangling himself close to the nape of his neck, so thoroughly that the shark would have no hope of getting him out in a timely manner.

Yennefer laughed. “Good luck. Remember, eight-pointed star.” And she swam away, leaving them to their task.

Geralt sighed, but began swimming east towards the crater, with Jaskier along for the ride. Jaskier smugly reveled in his victory, until the water began to darken and get colder. He shivered; he wasn’t meant for such deep waters, more used to the bright warmth of more tropical waters.

He fought his way free of the mess of white hair just in time to see the shipwreck looming before them. “Well, that looks inviting,” he commented, staring distastefully at the rotting wood and tattered remnants of sails. A few crabs scuttled away at the sound of his voice.

“Come on,” Geralt muttered, swimming towards the jagged hole that marred the hull. Jaskier swam after him, eager to have his protection in such an eerie place.

The wreck was entirely abandoned. No mer would make their home here, and it seemed the ocean wildlife had no intentions of doing so either—besides the crabs lingering outside. The ship and any cargo it carried had been left to rot for years.

“If you were an amphora, where would you be?” Jaskier mused, itching to fill the silence. This deep, it was like he could feel the weight of the water above pressing down on him.

Geralt swam to the back of the ship, where a door hung off its hinges, revealing a lavish room inside. Unfamiliar objects lined the shelves, as well as bottles full of all manner of strange liquids—this must have been the sorcerer’s cabin.

Geralt started to poke around the shelves, while Jaskier started rooting through a chest at the foot of the bed, looking for anything particularly amphora-y. The chest was mostly filled with clothes, but then Jaskier’s hands hit ceramic. “Geralt! I think I found it,” he called, grabbing it by the seal and struggling to lift it.

“Wait, Jaskier, don’t—” Geralt said, swimming over, but too late; the seal pulled free with a pop! “It’s a fucking djinn,” Geralt growled, as the water began to darken and a strange current swirled around them.

“A djinn? Like a genie? Grants three wishes?” Jaskier asked. “Oh! Djinn, I have freed thee, and summon thee as thy master!”

“Jaskier, stop!”

“What, does she really need all three wishes?” Jaskier complained. “She just said to bring her the amphora. Who’s to say if someone else got there first?”

“They’re dangerous. And it looks like you’ve already pissed this one off,” Geralt snarled, grabbing Jaskier with one hand and the seal with the other.

“Hey! Put me down!” Jaskier squawked, wriggling, but Geralt’s grip was sure. He swam out of the wreck as quickly as possible, while the sea continued to darken and an ominous rumble shook the ship.

They made it out just as the wreck gave a great creaking groan and snapped. The entire structure collapsed, almost clipping Geralt’s tail, sending clouds of debris billowing out behind them.

“That was close,” Jaskier joked weakly, watching as the wreck—now little more than a pile of wood—shrank behind them. Geralt still did not release him. “Will it follow us?”

“Maybe,” Geralt said tersely. Jaskier didn’t ask any more questions.

Yennefer’s cave soon came into view. She was waiting outside, tentacles swaying softly in the current, and looked up at their rapid approach. “What the fuck did you do?” she demanded, looking past them.

Jaskier risked a glance back and saw that a dark cloud grew from where the wreck had been, reaching out towards them like grasping fronds of seaweed.

“You should know better than to fuck with a djinn,” Geralt growled, throwing the seal at her. She caught it with one of her tentacles.

“I didn’t think you would be stupid enough to release it,” she retorted. “Which of you controls it?”

Geralt thrust Jaskier closer. “It wasn’t on purpose?” he defended himself, tail squirming but still unable to escape Geralt’s grip.

“Let him go,” Yennefer sighed. “Make a wish. Quickly.”

“Anything?” Jaskier asked, mind entirely blank. The terror of the situation wasn’t really inspiring. “Um… I wish Valdo Marx would be eaten by a shark,” he tried, greeted with flat, unbelieving stares from them both.

“Sorry! Not that I don’t think sharks are great, they are,” Jaskier said apologetically to Geralt. “Was that enough? What now?”

“It’s not weakening,” Yennefer murmured, looking at the dark cloud. “If anything, it’s stronger.”

“Should I make another?”

“No! I’ll try to bind it. Go inside the cave and don’t come out until I’m finished,” Yennefer ordered. She closed her eyes and began to chant as the nearest dark tendril reached them.

“It’ll kill you!” Geralt roared. “Yennefer, stop!”

She ignored him. With him distracted, Jaskier finally squirmed free of his grasp. Fighting the urge to go hide in her cave, he instead watched as she battled the djinn. He felt helpless; what could one shrimp do against the power of an ancient magical being?

Yennefer cried out. Without thinking, Jaskier knew then what he had to do. Wording it very carefully, he made a wish: if he was right, it would force the djinn to leave them all alone.

As suddenly as it had started, it stopped. The dark cloud retreated, dissipating around them, until the ocean was just as bright and sunny as it had been earlier.

“I had it!” Yennefer yelled, whirling on them. “Why did you do that?”

“It was going to kill you!” Jaskier argued. “You’re welcome!”

“You bound us,” Geralt guessed. “That was your wish.”

Jaskier squirmed. “Not in so many words, no.”

“But the sentiment is the same. You were its master, and you came up with a way to protect us.”

“Bound to an idiot shrimp and his pet shark, brilliant,” Yennefer bit out. Then, grudgingly, she said, “Better than having to clean up your corpses, I suppose.”

For the first time since the start of the whole fiasco, Jaskier cracked a grin. Though he might not understand exactly what his wish entailed, the danger had passed.

And there were worse fates than having to hang around two of the most interesting mers he’d ever met. Freeing a shark, meeting a witch, exploring a shipwreck and not dying to a djinn—a successful day in all, Jaskier thought.

And he had a feeling that life with Geralt and Yennefer would only continue to be so exciting.