#one of these days i will take my brain out and fistfight it

[dzvelinaskebiyars]

Idk if you write angst or not, but...

I was thinking about this nonstop and I had to request it.

So, Female Y/N and Kazutora are in the same class (first year highschool maybe) and they both are always coming into class with bruises.

Everybody is worried for Yn, thinking shes being abused at home, when, in reality, shes actually just super clumsy. Also, everybody thinks that Kazutora always gets into street fights, which he does, but that's not the actual reason behind his bruises, it's his father.

Then, one day, yn and Kazu are assigned cleaning duty after school, and as they're cleaning up, kazutora inquires about yn's bruises, wanting to know if there is somebody else out there also being abused.

They become friends, and as they get closer to each other, Kazutora starts to open up more to her, and ends up telling her about his home life.

I'm imagining their relationship more as platonic love. yknow, like besties.

sorry if this is too specific but I really needed to get it out of my head!!

I really love your head, your brain and your idea because I miss writing platonic loves!

Bruises.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Many people think that clumsy people are cute, aesthetically at least, but I doubt they'd think that if they saw them constantly being bruised.

Be it tripping over something, falling down from trees, crashing with something while riding a bike, falling down the stairs and etc, you have experienced all of them in less than a month.

You were just....adventurous, that's all. You took the risks despite knowing you'd get hurt. Your family might think that you're masochist for this but that's wrong. Taking risks are exciting. When you can't feel anything because of the adrenaline, when your blood grows hot and heart beats faster than ever before, it's so exciting. So you do try a lot of things and maybe would be unstoppable in them if you weren't cursed with clumsiness.

Everyone is clumsy in one way or another, but yours is a bit concerning...Considering the fact that you literally choke on water when drinking it.

How amazing.

You hated bruises. They're ugly as hell and sometimes very disturbing to look at. But whenever you would glance at your body, you'd notice more amount of bruises than your own skin.

It's disturbing, you agree. It's concerning, that's true. Maybe that's why your classmates are giving you pitiful and concerned looks when they'd accidentally see your bruises, which you try to cover up.

"Why do you have so many bruises, [name]..?" Your seatmate asked you, hesitating and debating whether he should ask you about it or not.

You smiled at him, unaware of the reason behind this question. "You know how clumsy I am." It was simple answer, true even, but he didn't look convinced at all.

You two were oblivious to the boy sitting right behind you. He had black hair with some of his locks dyed blonde, his yellow eyes settled on your figure. His face was slightly bandaged and he, also, got bruises but it didn't look like anything serious, probably from fistfight.

Or so they all thought...

"Kazutora-kun, [name]-chan, you two are on cleaning duty today." The teacher informed right after her lesson was over. Frown formed up on Kazutora's face, probably because he obviously had better things to do than cleaning the classroom. But he didn't object.

Everyone left, leaving you two alone. The awkward silence screamed in the room, drowning every single thing you tried to say to kill the awkward in its own void. You two weren't close, not even friends. You knew nothing about him except the rumours that has been going on and on about him.

Of course, you weren't the type to believe every single rumour or judge someone because of them, hence you had no opinion on him. He didn't look like a bad guy and he was very pretty, plus his tattoo looks cool. That's all.

Both of you were doing your cleaning duties quietly, until the boy decided to break the silence. "That's pretty bad bruise."

You turned around to look at him, only to meet his back. He was cleaning the desk with his back facing you. "I fell down. Hard." You said truthfully, it's not like you had anything to hide.

"..Can you really get such bruise from falling down?" Kazutora asked yet again, as if trying to hint at something else but you couldn't exactly put a finger on what.

"Well, I was skating with my skateboard and fell really badly. So that's how I got it." You shrugged your shoulders, continuing to clean the board.

Kazutora stopped what he was doing and finally turned to you, eyeing your figure up and down before turning his back to you again with "Is that so.."

"What about you? What happened to your face?"

He stopped in his tracks, his hand clenching the wetpaper hard. "I got into fight with some assholes."

"Oh.." was all you said.

The silence fell between you two again and not wanting to be in the same extremely awkward situation with him again, you said the first thing that came to your mind. "They aren't bullying you, are they?"

Kazutora turned to face you, he was kind of confused before he started laughing. You stopped cleaning the board, wondering if what you said was funny. "bully me? I meant that they just pissed me off so I beat them up."

"O-Oh so you're bully!" You stated as if you just discovered the golden chest six feet under.

"Bully, hm? I wouldn't call myself that." He said, moving to the next desk. "Maybe I am, kind of. But only to those who deserve it."

One thing that you learned about him is to never ever piss him off, or you might as well return to home with broken jaw. Just the thought of it send chills down your spine. You turned around to clean the board again and despite wanting to say nothing, your mouth couldn't stop spilling the words out. "I don't think anyone deserves to be bullied." Kazutora turned to you again but now you were the one who wasn't looking at him. "Imagine how worried their parents must be. Seeing your kid all beat up, every parent would be worried for their child's safety."

"Every parent my ass..." He mumbles under his breath, low enough for you to not hear.

"What?"

"Nothing." He shrugged. "But not every kid has parents and if they do, they might not be all caring at all you know...Even if they're, it's not my problem."

"Still, no one deserves to be bullied. It affects them badly." You said.

"If they're willing to be delinquents, then they must except something such as that."

"You're delinquent..?"

"Huh? You didn't know?" He raised his eyebrow. "Everyone talks about how I went to juvie."

"I don't trust the rumours..." Finally, finish cleaning the board, you looked at him. "Isn't this heavy topic for you tho?"

"I have nothing to hide." Kazutora shrugged. It's true that he had nothing to hide, after all there were so many rumours going around the school about his arrest, he's sure people even made stories up about him so it was one of the famous topic to gossip about in the school.

"Even so, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. I mean, we aren't even friends so, I shouldn't be asking too much questions." You scratched your head in embarrassment. What right did you have ask about such personal stuff? You two aren't even friends so it must have been uncomfortable.

"As I said, I've nothing to hide. And you're just curious." He shrugged off with a smile. His smile was too kind for someone who has been in the juvie.

"...I don't think you're a bad guy." You truthfully said. His eyes widen but he was fast to regain his composure. "Well not as bad as rumours say at least. In fact, I'd like to be your friend, if that's okey with you."

After moment of silence, Kazutora managed to mutter "sure" with ghost smile on his lips.

He probably thought that he wouldn't get any closer to you at that time, he probably thought that you just wanted something from gim, hence why he was trying to find out what but miserably failed, he probably thought that you would leave him on your own before he even would manage to get attached to you. He probably thought that, but he was wrong. Oh, he was horribly wrong and the current situation was the proof of that, him venting to you, telling you why he can't go back to his house and you letting him stay at your place and even offering him comfort.

Yeah, he hasn't fought anyone at that time, 4 months ago. He didn't got those bruises because of strangers but because of his own father, a person he was supposed to be safe with. That man was more cruel than a beast. Even juvenile hall was safer than his own home. And that killed you inside, wishing you could help him with something more but you were kid too..

Kazutora hated seeing happy families, but he started crying when he saw yours, because he truly, for once, felt like he was at home.

[dominote]

How do you think light and mello would have interacted if they met each other?

SORRY THIS TOOK A FEW DAYS it needed to marinate in my brain juices for a second

okay, so. i think light got off really lucky in terms of never meeting mello! because light plays mind games, and kira-light especially gets incredibly locked in his head about how it all comes down to outwitting L and any other opponent or obstacle in his way.

he deals with naomi by talking circles around her until the spiral hits the center, he deals with L by confounding him (and the occasional fistfight, sure, but that's notably when he's not kira), he deals with near by playing it cool until he assumes there's only a second left of near's life because he believes he already has a plan in motion for that.

mello, though? mello does not fuck around! mello has guns and weapons and violent mafia members and is not afraid to deploy any of them as recklessly as need be! and light, consistently, is not a big fan of guns. he completely panics and shuts down when one is put in his face, he refuses to use or even take one when L asks him to, and he generally just seems to be upset by the mere idea of them.

i honestly believe mello would have been able to really fuck light up if they met in person while mello was armed in like, any way at all. light would probably try to talk his way out of it, desperately searching for some weak point he could dig his claws into, and his best shot would probably be if he was able to latch onto his insecurities about L and near... but light doesn't really know shit or fuck about those beforehand, so i'm willing to say mello has a decent upper hand if he can keep his mouth shut about how he'll finally get one up over near.

okay, to be fair, that's a big ask. i don't know that mello could actually keep his mouth shut on that matter. chronic insecurity does that to people. but the point is! i think their interaction would involve mello aggressively, and as a direct result, pretty successfully, leveraging direct threats to light's life and wellbeing. light can deal with people trying to prove he's kira, but if mello tells him dead to his face that he's willing to fuck around and find out whether the kira murders stop with his death, like the execution but for real this time? even if mello was actually bluffing, he'd have light in the palm of his hand, at the very least for long enough to put a SERIOUS wrench in light's shit.

[aidaronan]

37 for Steddie? Love your stuff btw, the moment in Its Not A Big Deal where they play the solo game is so sweet and takes up so much space in my brain

Hey thank you!! 😭❤️ 37. things you said through someone else For a while, the only visitors Eddie's allowed are doctors, cops, and a state-appointed lawyer. The rest of the time, they keep him in a blank white room all by himself. They don't even let him have a book to read. Thank fuck he's always had one hell of an imagination. He passes the hours by imagining whole worlds, playing out scenarios in those. And when those worlds get boring, he imagines the world he lives in, versions where they didn't lock him up like some brutal serial killer. Or futures where they let him go and he gets to do all those things he always wanted to do. "It'll be better for you if you sign a confession," Brad says. Eddie hates Brad, who clearly thinks Eddie's guilty and is only there because he has to be. "Better for who exactly?" Eddie asks, and that's how the conversation goes again and again. Until one day someone says "lawyer" and Eddie looks up expecting to see Brad in his ill-fitting brown suit only to find someone who is very much not Brad.

Standing in his doorway is a man in his early 50s, the early 50s of someone who can afford healthcare and a gym membership. His graying hair is cut simply and precisely. His navy blue suit fits him like a glove, and it looks like if a wrinkle went anywhere near it, it'd fistfight that wrinkle and win. Simply put, the guy looks fucking expensive, from his silk pocket square to his shiny leather briefcase. "Hello, Mr. Munson. I'm David Carnell of Carnell & Barret Legal, and I have been hired to represent you."

Eddie blinks several times. He has a feeling that Uncle Wayne could sell everything they've ever owned in their life and not be able to afford this guy. "I don't understand." "I'm your new lawyer." "No, I get that part. Who hired you exactly?" "I've been Mitch Harrington's attorney for over twenty years now. I believe you know his son. I have a letter here for you by the way. I definitely made sure the guards didn't know about it, so you'd better flush it after reading." Wincing a bit at the pull in his stitches, Eddie snatches the letter like it might disappear, ripping into it. Eddie, I had to blackmail the hell out of my dad for this and I'll definitly have to move out now but Carnell is the kind of lawyer who hates to lose so he won't. Everyone misses you. Dustin, Lucas, and Mike. Me.

Hang in there dude. We're still harrasing the goverment about just getting you out of there without all this but Carnell is a solid plan b. Joyce and Hopper (not dead! weird right?) are in on it now too though and Joyce is scary when she wants to be. Just don't give up whatever you do. Becuase we won't.

Besides I didn't get to see you play and I want to. I really really want to.

Dinner on me when you get out. Anything you want. I'm starting a steak and lobster fund right now.

Friends? Steve

"Can I say something back?" Eddie asks, and Carnell sets his briefcase down and pops it open, removing a tape recorder and a legal pad. He presses record.

"Go ahead."

"Uh... Yeah, Steve. Friends. Like Frodo and Sam. You can ask Henderson who they are if you don't know." Eddie thumbs the letter in his hand. "And thank you, Steve. All of you. Tell everyone I miss them too."

At Eddie's nod, Carnell stops the tape. "Are you ready to get started?" "Yeah." "Before I press record again, Mr. Munson... Steve Harrington insists you're innocent, but between you and me and no one else, I need to know. If there's evidence that could come out, I need to be ready." Eddie bites his tongue and pushes down the sick, roiling feeling that comes up every time he thinks too long about Chrissy or any of the others. "I'm innocent." "Good. Because I can tell you having seen the case they've got fuck all for evidence right now." Carnell grins at him with all his perfect teeth, and Eddie decides you don't have to like a shark. You just have to sit back and let it deal with the wolves. He wonders if it'd be too much to insist on candlelight at that steak and lobster dinner. Because staring at Carnell's gold cuff links, it's pretty hard not to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

[lostsowly]

AkkuTora Headcanons

These hcs have been brewing in my head since the blackboard images from the exhibition dropped and I needed to get them out lol

Note: This contains slight spoilers from the TR exhibition don't read if you want to avoid spoilers

Kazutora always calls Akkun Atsushi because everyone else calls him Akkun, and he wanted to be different (he also asked him to call him Kazutora-senpai at school because he’s a year older)

Kazutora fell first Akkun fell harder

The first time Kazutora saw Akkun with his hair down, his brain short circuited

The Mizochu incident was Kazutora’s attempt at making Akkun his friend because his first meeting with Baji made him think that the best way to become friends is a fistfight

After becoming the vice captain of Division four, Akkun asked Kazutora if it’s okay that he doesn’t have a bike despite being a vice captain. Kazutora said it’s fine (because he wants to be the one to drive him all the time)

Kazutora also makes sure to drive carefully when he’s with Akkun because he doesn’t want him to be uncomfortable

Kazutora’s love language is physical touch, and Akkun’s is acts of service

During band practice or performances, whenever Akkun lets his hair down, Kazutora spends almost all the time just looking at him but still somehow manages to play everything with absolute perfection, even though he’s focused on Akkun for most of the time. (Angry is both impressed and concerned by this.)

Kazutora let's Akkun practice hairstyling on his hair (only Akkun is allowed to touch his hair)

Kazutora once heard a girl talking about how whenever she’s upset, her boyfriend gives her forehead kisses to make her feel better. So the next time when he sees Akkun upset, he tries to give him a forehead kiss but panics at the last moment and ends up headbutting him in the face (which kind of works because Akkun gets so startled that he forgets what was bothering him)

Next time, when Akkun asks him what he was trying to do, Kazutora tells him about the forehead kiss, and Akkun just laughs and gently takes his head in his hands and kisses his forehead to tell him what a proper forehead kiss is like (Kazutora short circuits)

I imagine Akkun having good, loving parents, which kind of makes Kazutora uncomfortable when he first meets them because he’s not used to nice parental figures. Eventually, he gets more comfortable with them and becomes a part of the family

Additional hc for Akkun’s mom: one day she saw Kazutora’s dad dragging him home and yelling at him. She saw how uncomfortable and scared Kazutora looked, so she intervened, got into a quarrel with his father, and was ready to throw hands if needed until his father got fed up and left. His father also stopped intervening in his life after that. Kazutora warmed up to her really quickly after that and became more open to her

I also like to imagine Akkun as an older brother with a younger sister who absolutely adores Kazutora, and he can’t figure out why (he does try to be nice around her so that she doesn’t pick up any bad habits)

Although he does care a lot about his division’s members, he particularly has a soft spot for Akkun and the other Mizo mid members because they were the only members he recruited himself and weren’t assigned to his division by Mikey or Baji (also because they weren't strangers to him as he became friends with them before they joined Toman)

[yippeecahier]

AITA for insisting on my husband moving his stuff?

This is the kind of thing I'd put on Reddit but with all thats going on, I'm sticking to Tumblr. So I (25 NB) got married to my husband (25 M) on June 24th this year and havent even been married a whole month. We'd talked about boundaries and communication and have had multiple sessions with a premarital and now marital counselor since we got engaged in March. Before that, we dated for 2 years and have known each other and been friends off and on since the 6th grade.

When it comes to boundaries, we have two that are pretty much unshakeable: I need consistent 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep in the dark (with either white noise or relative silence) and going to bed before midnight, and my husband needs alone time to play games for a few hours a day where no one will walk in (he has scopophobia from childhood trauma where his parents and siblings would barge in and even remove the door and fistfight him so now he interprets pairs of eyes as threats and wont use the university library for this reason; I wish I was joking, but I'm not, and my MIL confirmed this is true because she had my husband as an unstable teen and did, in fact, fist fight him in her 20s). I always thought these were both reasonable boundaries and could be worked with given compromise, but this is somehow more contentious than I thought.

I'm currently living in his 1 bed, 1 bath apartment. I was living out of my suitcase up to and a week after our wedding until our counselor told him he had to make space for me; much to his chagrin, I invited my mom over to help me because I was so overwhelmed by all the boxes from wedding gifts and overwhelmed from the wedding (which is why we didn't leave on a honeymoon right away). Our counselor, and now my parents (who are medical professionals), and two of our friends, say he needs to move his computer out of the bedroom.

I have autism, IBS, and a history of mental illnesses. He will lock the door to the bedroom that contains the only bathroom for hours at a time and take a long time to respond to texts. I will not be able to sleep in the bedroom or use the toilet for long periods of time. I'm exhausted and overwhelming from having to walk to the local stores to use the bathroom, and none of them are 24 hours so after 11pm I'm exhausted and having a really bad time. I live in the downtown area of a big city with him, so I cannot simply find a bush to pee/poo in. On one very humiliating occasion I used an empty food container to eliminate, and threw my waste in the trash because he wouldn't respond to his phone or unlock the door despite my panicked banging.

The stress of it, and being deprived of sleep past 1am every night only to be woken up by our neighbors at 9am is making my IBS worse and has triggered multiple meltdowns and psych episodes the likes of which I haven't seen for >2 years (including trying to walk to the train tracks to kms to escape the hell my brain was putting me through because I wasnt giving it the sleep it needs).

On one particularly bad incident, I was tired and took a nap in the morning after having a meltdown over seeing a dead cockroach in the kitchen during breakfast when my husband set multiple blaring alarms at 5am because he is a deep sleeper even though we went to bed at 2am (I did blow the situation out of proportion, but I was also sleep deprived and actively psychotic as a result). When my husband came back, he came in guns blazing and pulled me out of bed demanding to see the roaches, and expressed frustration that I went back to bed when I was freaking out about the roach over the phone some 15 minutes prior. We got in an argument about if we need to put in a request for pest control, and at one point, I yelled, "FINE, YOU’RE RIGHT AND I'M WRONG," and put my hands on his throat because I got triggered into an episode. I was shaking and asked to leave the conversation multiple times before it got to that point, but he wouldn't let me leave the kitchen - and pulled me back by my arm - until I'd heard a piece of his mind; that combined with waking up suddenly in the middle of my nap to an angry spouse after another successive night of sleep deprivation caused me to become violent whereas I'd never been violent to others in any episode before.

I regret it and apologized fervently and am trying everything I can to prevent that from happening again. I am not a typically violent person, and previous psychotic episodes only resulted in self-harm, not putting my hands on others. However, him not getting with the program I need to stay sane isn't helping. I started screaming and hitting myself during this last meltdown today over coming to a locked bathroom/bedroom door for the 3rd time after being out of the house for him to play games for 6 hours despite having another stress induced IBS episode, and immediately got back in my car to drive to my parent's house without any of my stuff.

I was deprived of sleep for the 3rd night in a row because I'm doing all the housework so he can have his games alone. His gaming computer is in the bedroom, which is locked, and he refuses to listen to requests to move the computer out of the bedroom or unlock the door because of his scopophobia. I can technically sleep on the futon, but I cannot brush my teeth or go to the bathroom because the bathroom is in the bedroom, and sleeping on the futon is interrupted because he refuses to sleep alone and will come out of the bedroom, wake me, and take me to bed with him at 3am.

Yesterday he got crabby because he "didn't get a break," and I told him I felt "hurt because it sounds to me like [he was] not grateful for the two hours I spent cleaning the apartment and dishes" the latter of which is his job, "to give [him] 2 hours to play games," to which he responded that he needs "at least 4 hours," "with the door closed and locked," and "complete silence," and my housework is "too noisy." This does not make sense to me because he cannot hear his phone notifications when I call or text to use the bathroom, and he is playing music. Moreover, knowing that the vacuum cleaner sets us both off, my parents gifted me a Roomba for cleaning that is much quieter, but he won't help to set it up.

He keeps suggesting compromises with my mom, our friends, and our marital counselor. None of them have worked, and none of them he has kept up.

1) My mom offered to buy him an L-shaped desk for him when she comes over next, but now he refuses to have her come over and doesn't want to spend money on an L-shaped desk. He also wants to use the L-shaped desk for everything BUT the tower.

2) We bought an IKEA desk for $10 at Goodwill and got cables for him to move his keyboard, screen, and mouse out of the room, but he refuses to move the tower (which has RGB that won't turn off while he's using it) out of the bedroom. Then, the door will not completely close because of all the cables running through it and I hear his music, games, and keyboard. His reason for not moving the tower? His dad (my FIL) cut the ethernet cable to the exact length for it to be in the bedroom and my husband wants to be able to lock the door to the bedroom and bathroom during the day (which he can stay there and play games all day, but don't lock the door to the only bathroom, I have literal IBS that will NOT wait. I already soiled a pair of shorts.)

3. My friend stayed with us for a bit while in transitory housing, which is how he justified locking the door (to masturbate without being walked in on). But even after our friend showed him how to turn on notifications from favorite contacts when he puts his phone on Do Not Disturb, he still silences his phone and locks the door.

4. We negotiated together with the marital counselor a possible compromise where I "own" the bedroom for 12 hours at night and he "owns" the bedroom for 12 hours during the day so that he can play games during the day at noon instead of at, say, 2am. He suggested implementing this the week after our wedding. It didn't happen, I brought it up with the counselor. He says it's because he's "on vacation" but we'll implement come July. It's a week into July and it still hasn't happened. I told him I need a functioning sleep schedule for my job two weeks BEFORE I start or I'll have a psych episode at work and get fired, and he agreed, and I still came home to a locked bedroom/bathroom door TODAY.

5) We talked about getting a two bedroom condo that's a walking distance from his university. His assets plus my salary (I'm the breadwinner right now while he's in college but he was in the military and has $40k in savings and $50k in stocks), and we qualify for up to $400k on our mortgage. He refuses to close on the 2 bedroom/2 bathroom condo I requested that's a 5 minute walk from his classes because it's "too expensive" at $375k, and he insists on a 2 bedroom/1 bathroom place for $315k that's a 15 minute walk from his campus. Even though I told him my IBS requires I have access to a bathroom at all times, he still will spend over an hour on the toilet watching YouTube even if he's not "sequestering" to play games. I won't hear a peep from him about sharing a bathroom to save $60k unless he changes his behavior. This also is the driving force behind why I want to try to move into a two bedroom condo ASAP, even though our lease ends in mid-November. He refuses because he doesn't want to pay rent for the apartment while we have a mortgage OR sublease/AirBnB it OR break the lease. I have argued with support from our realtor, mortgage broker, and my parents, that now is the time to find and close on a home because it's a several months long process, especially since we're using VA loans.

Moreover, his ass has the audacity to repeatedly twist my arm about having a baby. When we first got married, I said, "Sure, we can have kids; but first I have to find a way to be mentally stable without medications for a year straight while living with you before I can carry a viable pregnancy. I've been stable and unmedicated before, but that stability requires consistent sleep, a regular and highly regimented schedule, and consistent vigorous exercise to work." We're nowhere near that, (I fucking put my hands on him during an episode and even my OBGYN said given my medical history its not a question of if I'll get postpartum depression but when,) and he keeps asking me to schedule an appointment to change my birth control to something other than an IUD.

I'm an adult, I can leave my husband alone for 4 hours in complete silence with some effort and some frustration, but A BABY fucking won't, because it can't. It needs your attention every 2 hours to eat or poop or what have you. His kid cannot find something else to do like I can to leave him in silence most of the day unless they're in school (by age 5 and only during the schoolyear) or can drive (by age 16), but definitely not all night at any point between their birth and them moving out (given current economic trends, this wont be economically feasible until our kid is 30). Plus, the kid would occupy our 2nd bedroom in the condo and then I'd have to figure out how to get sleep in my husband's room and (share a bathroom if we go with his insisitence on a 1 bathroom cheaper condo) despite my IBS with TWO human beings, when sharing with one is hard enough.

We agreed to getting me a service animal from a program in Canada I'd been on the waiting list for since 2019, and the animal is available for me to take home this summer. I am going to Canada by myself because my husband doesn't have a passport, but we're meeting in New York to drive home together in a rental car with the animal. My parents understandably think this is an additional stressor since now I'm taking care of not only me and my husband, but also an animal. But I need something to step in and perform tasks to mitigate/alert to psych episodes.

Today he hugged me and told me he loved me and was so glad he "married [me]" because I "enhance [his] life every moment," but it feels like lip service when he won't move the computer or implement any of the possible solutions we came up with above. I wish I could say the same. I feel like my life is actually worse since I moved in. I'm contemplating quitting the new job, going back to my old one, and living with my parents until he can get his shit together enough that I can actually sleep and use the bathroom like a normal person.

I can't live with him like this, or one of us will get very badly hurt. I start work in two weeks, and need to be at work by 7am every day, so I cannot be stable enoigh to keep a job if I'm having psych episodes because I'm going to bed after midnight whenever he's feeling kind enough to remember me and unlock the bedroom door. I need two weeks to reset my sleep schedule. He says he understands after I scared him when I put my hands on him, and after each and every sleep-deprivation induced meltdown, but I feel like he really doesn't because none of his behavior has changed.

You are welcome to reblog to give an in-depth response if it doesn't fit in replies or DM me if you want it to be private. I'm desperate for help. He's not a bad guy. Everyone says that it's very apparent he loves me. He's my best friend, and I love him, but my health, sanity, and, in turn, our marriage are at stake if this doesn't get solved and soon.

[sparkedblaze]

SPRALBERT IS AMAZING TOO

anything including my child al

OKAY SICK

ALSO I HOPE YOU WERE ASKING ABOUT THE MODERN AU BC THAT'S WHAT I'M ABOUT TO RANT/INFODUMP WITH THIS

T/W IT'S VIOLENT BC @noxexistant GAVE ME PERMISSION TO USE THE FIGHT CLUB AU

And also t/w for cursing and mentioned homophobia as well

BELOW THE CUT

The Delanceys started the RFC (Refuge Fight Club, more commonly known as the Ring) when Oscar turned 14, Morris was 12. They had an itch that needed to be scratched, and they knew that the only way to do that was to fight. At least this way, they had consent to kick the others’ asses. No holds barred, bare knuckled fistfights. These are all out brawls that happen in the basement of the Refuge. The two of them hold top spot for years. There’s an age requirement (no one under 13-originally placed so Oscar could keep Morris safe just a little longer). There’s rules against girls fighting (Oscar underestimates everyone. He thinks that being born with a uterus means you’re weak). There’s special brutality toward out lgbt folk.

Albert is the first to break the age requirement. He’s only 10 when he fights for the first time. He’s allowed to fight because he essentially bullies Oscar (who’s six years older, and at least two feet taller) into letting him do it. And by bully, I mean this kid pranks him relentlessly. It starts with small things. Hand in warm water while he sleeps, whipped cream in the hand and tickle his nose, stealing his clothes while he’s in the shower. They’re simple, harmless pranks. 

Until they’re not.

Soon, Albert is oiling the stairs-hurting Oscar, Morris, and several of his own friends (he feels so fucking bad about his friends getting hurt). He’s putting mousetraps on the floor below his and Morris’s bed. 

Oscar asks him what it would take for him to fucking stop before someone actually gets hurt, and Albert tells him that he’s gotta let him fight, just once. If he holds his own, he keeps fighting, and if not he’ll know better.

Albert fights almost every day after that. Fights daily until he’s exhausted and heaving with it, but he grins the entire time. He loses about twice a week, when he’s too exhausted for the fight to go on too long, and he’s in and out of the ring. But he goes, patches himself up, and passes out on a bed for roughly 22 hours. He eats, and immediately goes down to the basement, looking for whoever had beaten him the night before.

His first break in that pattern comes when Antonio gets put in the Refuge (he’s 11). Toni is appalled by the Ring at first. He thinks it’s brutal and horrifying and all these other things. But, he starts thinking about the bets his papá made at the horse track in Brooklyn, and his brain starts working out how maybe they could do that with the fights and-wait his new red-headed friend is literally a dead man walking right now.

Toni (not Racetrack, yet) told him that he would probably stop losing if he’d just take a day or two break a week, and at first Albert says hell no

But then Toni talks him into taking a break for a day, and Albert goes back the day after absolutely ready to dominate the ring.

And he does

And that's the first fight Toni takes bets on. And everyone expects Albert to suck and be out of practice

So he rakes in the dough on that fight.

MORE FUN (LESS VIOLENT) THINGS THAT I HAVE WRITTEN DOWN:

Streams games, very popular. Isn’t verified because he doesn’t care enough to go through all the steps to do it.

Has a massive crush on Racetrack Higgins before he meets the stupid fuck, and then he 'meets' him, realizes that it's ANTONIO FUCKING HIGGINS THAT BITCH, and promptly kicks his ass.

Rents a massive house (Like this bitch is literally like 8-10 bedrooms. But they all split the rent, so it's kinda okay) with Finch, Race, Spot, Hotshot, Ike, Blink, Mush, Tommy, Barney, and Specs. There’s a very strict no siblings allowed rule bc sometimes Albert, Race, and Ike just need to get away. There are exceptions, but it’s only if they’re told beforehand, and given at least 3 days’ notice.

Front Page Story: Gaming streamer. King of FPS games (hence the acronym of his name). He’s been featured in several gaming magazines, and some out of the community. Is almost always invited to things like VidCon. 

The guy is popular. He's small and cute, but quick to anger, and his fans eat that shit up. They don't ask why he's always ready for a fight. They don't ask where the scars on his body came from. They're honestly too scared to.

But, on the other hand, he's very personable when people actually meet him in person. He's not as angry and he doesn't yell as much (it's more unsettling than any of them expect)

Like his fans literally adore him, and they can and will fight for him

Albert is reintroduced to Racer after he and Spot are already together, and it kind of makes his stomach churn because he's had a crush on this boy since they were literally children. And here comes this guy, unliked by Race's oldest brother, somehow more violent than Albert himself, and he's got Racer.

And then, Albert meets him.

Fucker's charismatic, and he kinda has a nice smile, but he too is unattainable.

Until he's not.

Race and Spot come to him, explaining that they both may or may not kind of be head over heels for this dumbass. He's taken aback at first, can see the discomfort in Race's expression as he tries to explain it (though what he doesn't know is that discomfort comes from his younger years of being raised strictly Catholic).

When he agrees to a date, he thinks he might melt, because he's never seen either of them smile that wide. Those two are absolutely beaming at him.

And he thinks that, maybe this won't be so bad.

[chronicbeans]

Goofball Iolite Hospital and Dreamlight Valley Antics

why? Because I have been playing Dreamlight Valley while my shoulder recovers, and I made my character in that game Aluminum. So these silly scenarios of how my characters would act in Dreamlight Valley wriggled into my brain like worms.

TW: Brief mentions of Chronic Illness and Swearing

Aluminum, Dr. Cogsworth, Derek, Baxter, Maya and Johnny Doe would all probably share the same house, arguing with one another over who gets the bed until they can afford to buy enough for everyone. Well, Maya and Johnny would probably just stay to the sidelines, alongside Derek, because they are content to all snuggle up on the floor, mainly because Derek is like a pillow. Derek doesn't mind being a pillow. Aluminum would fistfight for the bed, though, and suffer because he needs complete silence and darkness to sleep, and Baxter snores up a storm. Dr. Cogsworth doesn't really care, being able to stay up all night as long as he is wound up, and Baxter sometimes wakes up to Cogsworth staring at him while he sleeps, only to hear him say something both random and concerning, like "Mickey is standing outside our door, again." This then causes Baxter to be unable to sleep for the rest of the night, due to an intense fear of Mickey Mouse.

The group would be absolutely feral compared to the rest of Dreamlight Valley. Aluminum would probably introduce himself to new villagers by saying something along the lines of "Hello! I'm Aluminum! I'm chronically ill!" Only for the other person to already feel overwhelmed by the over sharing. Dr. Cogsworth would feel naturally drawn to Wall-E, because they are both robots. Wall-E might feel a bit reminded of AUTO due to how Dr. Cogsworth tries to always go by systems and rules, while holding a cold outer shell, but might warm up depending on how their interactions go. Meanwhile, Baxter is flirting with the villains, both unaware and not caring that they are villains. Meanwhile, Maya keeps embarrassing him by acting like a goofball, with the intention of ruining his chances to protect him from said villains.

Johnny would hang out at Remy's, not ordering any food, and just bringing in piles of clay and eating them off of the fancy plates he has. He would also beg Derek and Dr. Cogsworth to buy him clothes from Scrooge so he can gnaw on them when stressed. The entire town is also concerned about Johnny's forgetfulness, thinking he might be more susceptible to the night thorns, only to calm down when it is explained that he has short-term memory loss and it isn't the night thorns. Derek would heavily enjoy farming all day, finding that it reminds him of his home world.

I can totally see Aluminum trying to farm, only for some random villager to walk through it on accident, causing him to suddenly burst out in anger. Like, Mother Gothel would walk on through his lettuce garden only to suddenly hear him screaming "YOU!!! HOW DARE YOU YOU LITTLE-" then it turns into a ten minute long tirade full of pure rage and curses. Derek would have to pick him up and take him inside, wrapping him in blankets and giving him something to chew on to release him stress.

Dr. Cogsworth would end up just marching into Remy's and giving him a long list of what each member of the group can and cannot eat, only to absolutely overwhelm him as he explains how Aluminum is allergic to a bunch of things, without knowing what exactly they are. It does give Remy an interesting challenge of trying to make safe to eat foods for them, though, as well as making a small bond between them as he teaches Dr. Cogsworth the safe recipes and asks for any feedback the others give on them. He even tries to remake the other foods on his menu to be safe, so they can enjoy them, too.

Baxter likes to hang out of the beach, trying to learn how to swim. He also likes to catch random fish and just... eat them raw, right after catching them, to the horror of those who happen to see him doing so. Ursula and Ariel would end up having to save him from drowning as he pushes himself too hard as he tries to teach himself to swim in an attempt to impress whoever he's decided to crush on that day. He'd then have to explain that, as a landshark, he doesn't actually know how to swim, but wants to learn how to do so to become closer with his shark ancestors.

Freaking Dr. Cogsworth learns that he has this weird, natural gift for dancing and playing music when he hangs out with Kristoff. The catch is, he can only play and dance waltzes. He can play Masquerade Suite Waltz by Khachaturian off the top of his head on any instrument, but ask him to play Mary had a Little Lamb and he is done for. Sometimes people will ask for him to play music in certain areas, like the beach or meadow, so they can hold little homemade ballroom dances.

Aluminum has to have someone to help guide him around whenever he has to wear clothes that don't have eyes on them. He does his best to draw them on, but sometimes he just doesn't have anything to draw on the clothes with. He gets pretty freaked out during those moments due to having a fear of blindness, which is natural for many of the Eyeless, but most everyone seems kind enough for him to feel relatively safe.

On the subject of clothes, everyone would be cross-dressing for the heck of it. Like, they don't care. Aluminum thinks he looks better in dresses, anyways, and Maya wants to be the "knight in shining armor! The mini Mulan! The cool tomboy who kicks evil's butt!" Baxter loves to wear makeup and finds that skirts are easier to wear when you have a tail, with Derek agreeing. Johnny likes to play pretend with Maya, playing the part of a prince who needs saving, while wearing pretty pink slip on shoes due to the fact that they feel comfortable and look nice. The most Dr. Cogsworth would so is wear a mixture of different gendered clothing depending on what he is doing, all while trying to stay modest and professional. Is it his turn to water the crops, but it is hot enough that his systems will overheat? A nice skirt with a button up shirt will do. Is it cold outside, but he needs to go to the forest and frosted heights to collect wood? Well, the only gloves he has are some sparkly pink ones, and he has to match his clothes to look presentable. Pink glittery, rose shirt with some warm black pants and winter boots. Meanwhile, Aluminum would be running around in crop tops, shorts, pretty princess dresses, high heels, and whatever he feels like because he is at the point where he just doesn't care. His clothes hardly match half of the time, too.

Maya would be running around, sometimes on all fours, making the most random of noises to shock people. A girl has to have fun somehow, and when the only games you know how to play are slinky hunting and chase laser you are going to have a peculiar sense of fun. Johnny joins in from time to time, chipping in on other games to play. He's the one who came up with their knight and prince games. She mainly sticks her tongue out and makes a "blep" noise, but she will randomly screech or growl to catch the villagers off guard for fun. When Baxter catches this, he picks her up and shouts at the top of his lungs "LOOK AT MY NIECE! WHAT AN AMAZING HUNTRESS SHE IS!" out of pure proud uncle energy.

[tiredassmage]

pledges made on bloody knees from the WIP game?

Nervous laughter!!!! So, remember how I mentioned Tyr would fuck up and make poor decisions even knowing the outcome was anything but good?

This is that. So I could get it out of my system instead of continuing to ruminate on it and watch it become progressively worse (considering recent discussions, that was maybe... half-successful). That's why the details of this are half-baked because I just needed to purge angsty dialogue out of my brain.

And also that like three-month long moment I had about "you know what would be romantic? The inherent tragedy of Tyr and Malavai catching feelings for each other and oh my god, Theron, I think you're developing a type. (Emotionally compromised Imperials. Rough one, buddy.)"

What could possibly go wrong? :,)))

“Tyr!” Malavai hissed as he snatched the Commander’s arm, desperation tearing through the professionalism that so often grounded him when little else could.

He’d spent hours running strategies and tactics for when this day would come. It’d never done much to tame the fear that would claw through his stomach whenever he faced down reality.

“If you go in there…” Malavai swallowed harshly. Tyr’s storm-gray eyes calmly leveled with his and he felt his heart sink.

He knew exactly what he was doing.

“You know what they do with traitors, Tyr. Please… This is suicide, Commander!”

Tyr offered him a faint smile, almost apologetic. “This was always the plan, Major. We both knew that,” he said quietly. Still, he reached out and gently caressed his love’s jaw.

Quinn bit the inside of his lip in a vain attempt to prevent it from trembling. “Commander…” It was a kindness, really - the ability to fall back on titles. It was a way to offer each other space, to pace themselves. “I… Sir, even if they don’t find you, the blast radius on these charges…”

The Commander sighed quietly as his gaze dropped. “We can’t afford to let them get this thing in the air, Major.”

The risk was too great. But even that Republic agent hadn’t-

“I…” Malavai’s eyes stung. He rolled his jaw and swallowed harshly. “I… understand, Commander…”

Everyone call Tyr a bastard for taking Malavai with him because Theron wouldn't take this half as well and, tactically, it was easier to have an Imperial officer at his side rather than the ex-SIS agent. He knew exactly what the fuck he was doing and I'm still mad at him for this. Played them all like a fiddle and has the audacity to tell them it's okay.

I haven't worked on this in months (did I really start this in September??? Of course I wrote it late at night, that sounds like a thing I'd do) because I still don't trust him. And I still have no idea where they're taking the saboteur storyline and I swear- If they encourage this bullshit, I'm suing Tyr for everything he's worth.

And also I haven't emotionally recovered from this part, either:

“Malavai, make me a new promise.” Tyr watched him steadily, stilling him with his careful words. “Look after Theron, alright..? And you’re still a father, Malavai. I need you to stay here, okay..?”

Literally don't look at me @ my own ocs, as if I wasn't in enough pain, I just thought it'd be silly to make it worse. On myself. With bg SW/Malavai. Is part of the reason I haven't dedicated to this because it hurts me to write? Possibly. Very, very possibly!

Not pictured is somewhere, Theron is getting into as close to a fistfight as possible over holocall with Jonas for letting Tyr go through with this. Send your prayers to Jonas because I do not envy him trying to explain this.

[dootdootwriting]

Hullo! Came across your valentine event while scrolling the genshin tag and thought I'd drop by! Matchup events are always fun :)

I prefer guys and masculine leaning non binary folks. My pronouns are she/aer/xem, and am an Aries.

I'm not the best at social interaction, at least not conventionally (like small talk). I have social anxiety, but it's been little to none lately! When I'm comfortable, I'm pretty sociable. If I'm in a goofy mood, I can get chaotic and mischievous instead of my usual chill self. Speaking of chill, I'm known as the 'chill one' by most people. Which I'd say is true, I'm chill with pretty much everything. My interests vary widely, I can find most things interesting! I'm as curious as a cat, hehe. I love cats so much btw, and seafood. I enjoy exploring alot too. I think I'm pretty perceptive, taking my time when analysing things. Mix that with a bit of perfectionism and I take forever to do some tasks 🥲.

I was on a roll describing myself but got distracted by my cat, now my brain is blank...

Hmm, I try to be aware of others feelings as best I can. I try to be understanding aswell. My memory can be pretty bad too, occasionally forgetting something I just said. I also feel strongly on living beings being treated with at least basic decency. I could go on a big rant on how animals have their own version of thoughts and feelings, which also extends to non-human sapient creatures (like possible future ai). I really hate feeling angry, makes me feel sick and in pain physically. When I do get angry, which is rare, I'm either overwhelmed/stimulated, or upset about something like what I mentioned prior. And I'm atheist, I kinda want to punch a god, but one that deserves it. Like Ei, maybe even Zhongli... definitely Celestia, I'll fist fight them whether I could win/survive or not. I definitely would have tried punching god!scara in the mech.

Hope that wasn't too much... Have a nice day/night and thank you for this event!

hello and welcome in! you're so right btw i would love to fistfight ei or zhongli.... problem is they're both my babygirls. 😤 in any case, here's your matchup.

i match you up with kaeya!

♡ oh, good, you're like a cat! so is he. when he's with you, kaeya is even somewhat clingy - demanding of affection when you're in the middle of doing something. and when you're done, suddenly he's not in the mood anymore... well, okay. maybe for a few kisses. kaeya isn't someone who has a reliable routine outside of his work, though. he likes to go exploring with you, finding puzzles out in the wilderness of mondstadt to solve with you. and when you bend down to pet a stray animal laying around the city, he doesn't even mind... much! he'll gaze at you with a slightly bemused sort of smile. ♡ he's also the same way when it comes to negative emotions: he doesn't like them. before you, he would drown them out in alcohol or just plain sleep, or by burying himself in projects he would start but never finish. nowadays though. if he's feeling down, he'll come over to you and give you a gentle poke, choosing instead to drown his sadness in soft arms and kisses. ♡ kaeya is also good at the flip side - anything you forget he'll kindly remind you of, and if you get overwhelmed, you can always count on him for a shoulder to lean on or a gentle hand to lead you away from whatever is bothering you.

♡ kaeya isn't a huge believer in valentine's day. he doesn't dislike it necessarily - he's just never had a real reason to celebrate it. his mood toward the holiday depends entirely on yours. if you want to lay low and just hang out for the day, he'll do that. if you want to spoil him, he'll let you! and if you want to be spoiled, you can bet your ass he's buying the two of you some of the best wine the angel's share has to offer.

[bat-kidsarebi-kids]

22, 24, & 28 for the ask game please? <3

tauria hi!!! first of all let me say i did a flappy hands happy lil dance seeing this because i genuinely did not expect anyone to respond to the ask game. i am Thrilled. thank you <3

22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud?

unfortunately, as much as i hate google ideologically, i am a google docs lad through and through. i just have like 1.5 mil words between all my writing & can't bring myself to spend days moving it all somewhere else when i genuinely (evil) like (evil) the (evil) gdocs (evil) interface (evil). i organize my works by fandom and have folders for each of my WIPs & another folder for various drabbles. both of my big WIPs have like. at least 30 documents each so i also have one document that puts them all in chronological order and links each fic so i don't have to sort through all those folders.

24. How much prep work do you put into your stories? What does that look like for you? Do you enjoy this part or do you just want to get on with it?

hm. prep implies that i do this ahead of time and i Do Not. every in-depth long-ass WIP i have started out as like a 2k drabble and took on a life of its own. so i end up doing the organization and planning as i go. this also suggests i have Control over my stories and that is also not true. i am beholden to the Whims of my brain. all of this to say i rough out the plot & i have docs that organize timelines in a weird bastardized bullet point list sort of way. i tend to write my fics very out of order because the 'connecting' pieces in between are very hard for me and if i try to write everything chronologically nothing will ever be finished. i love following the joy. i hate writing the in between parts. i also hate making those plot diagrams and timelines, i find it tedious and my little brain goes humph. why am i doing this. i already know this why am i writing it down. but the thing is if i don't then when i inevitably accidentally take a 6-month hiatus from writing i won't remember anything.

28. Who is the most delightful character you’ve ever written? Why?

jason todd is my favorite character and roy harper is close behind. when i wrote Can I Help You Not To Hurt Anymore? and The Null HypotheCis back-to-back before returning to Jason and Roy's relationship in A City of Phantoms and Fistfights it felt like seeing an old friend for the first time in years. i feel like their chemistry writes itself and writing never feels more effortless than when i'm writing those idiots pining for each other. all of that being said the most delight i've ever felt while writing a character is the slade wilson i created for my Local Man Stans Bloodsoaked Stranger series. this is because he is a ginormous prick with a heart of gold silver bronze, maybe? LMSBS let me play with finding justifications for characters to behave very differently than they do in canon while challenging myself to still write them as in-character as possible (a Batman that kills, a roy that has his shit together, etc) which made space for a slade who has friends (but would never admit it). i am a goody-two-shoes in real life and i can't stand making anyone feel bad or being mean or rude, so writing him was definitely wish fulfillment for the snarky mean thing in me that wants to be let out of its cage every once in a while. i also love finding ways to say i love you, i trust you, i don't want a life without you in it without using those words because Slade Would Never, but exploring how he would go about making connections after losing his wife and kids was so fucking delightful.

thank you so much for sending me this ask!! please feel free to ask for any more if you'd like :)

[turtlethebean]

Carchelle Week Day 5: Work

Also available on AO3: No Feelings at Work - Turtle_The_Bean - Criminal Case (Video Game) [Archive of Our Own]

All Carmen Martinez knew was work. That was how she spent most of her adult life. For more than fifteen years, her work was documenting a war in Yemen, which ultimately resulted in the takedown of a terrorist network. She won an award for that.

But after she won that award, journalism, which had been her passion for years, became mind-numbingly boring. She still loved her job, but there was no longer the thrill of watching what was unfolding in Yemen. Reports of what local billionaires were doing and whatever crime was happening in Baltimore paled in comparison to the things she witnessed back then. She needed something more.

So, when the Bureau offered her a job, she obviously accepted it. She needed more adventure in her life. After all, she was slowly but surely reaching an age where she would be too old and tired to cover stories like the ones she did previously.

Carmen set one rule in place when she started working: no feelings at work. Everything had to be covered with complete neutrality, unphased by her own opinions of what was happening. She didn’t allow herself to mourn the sheer number of lives lost in the war; it would take up too much of her time, and she feared some maternal instincts deciding to kick in randomly.

But most importantly, she wasn’t going to date anyone who had ties with her work. She wasn’t going to date any coworkers or any people she interviewed. She was going to keep her love life and her work life separate. She figured it would be better off that way. Romance at work could cause drama and rumours to spread like wildfire, and she wasn’t going to be a spark to ignite a controversy. She saw how the news handled lesbian relationships, making her more desperate to keep her love life away from her work.

And now, she was sitting in the breakroom, wondering where she went wrong in that rule. She wondered when and why her mind had suddenly started to betray what she thought was a reasonable rule. Besides getting into a few fistfights in her younger years, she was never a rulebreaker, and yet she was starting to break a rule she had set in place to protect herself.

She tried to put her attention back on herself. Her staring probably made her look angry, and she couldn’t deny the fact that she had a resting bitch face. She really wasn’t angry at her, despite being accused of being the mole. If anything, she had admiration for this other woman. Not only was she exceptionally pretty (in Carmen’s eyes, at least), but she was smart enough to solve the Bureau’s little mole problem.

Maybe she was mistaking gratitude for love? No, Jonah had saved her life before, and she never felt this way towards him.

She wasn’t even that close to her. In fact, she had just spent the past few weeks not trusting her at all, especially after her response to Elliot’s kidnapping. So why was she now getting these feelings? Were they bottled up while she was busy trying to figure out the mole’s identity, just like everyone else?

“Why are you aggressively staring at Michelle?” Carmen snapped out of her thoughts to hear Jonah beside her. She didn’t even know he was in the room with her.

“Jee- Jonah, don’t sneak up on me like that. Also, my staring was not that aggressive.” She started, feeling her heart rate slow down a bit after that fright.

“Whatever you say. Anyways, what’s up with you and staring at her? Do you not trust her?”

“I trust her,” Carmen poured herself another cup of coffee, “It’s just…I don’t know. I really don’t know how to feel about her.”

“Hmm…do you find yourself daydreaming about her?”

“I mean…” She remembered all the thoughts that had been flooding her brain recently, including ones she would rather not talk about with Jonah, “Yeah, I totally have.”

“Sounds like the first stage of love, infatuation to me.” Jonah winked and nudged his friend playfully.

“You’ve been reading Marina’s psychology books again, haven’t you?”

“Well, it’s the only thing in her room besides her, and apparently, me staring at her while she’s giving therapy to someone makes people uncomfortable. So, I kinda gotta look at something that’s not her.”

“Yeah, I’d say someone staring at you, especially a big guy like yourself, staring at you while you’re trying to relive the darkest moments of your life is a little bit awkward.”

Carmen took a minute while Jonah was making himself and Marina some tea. Was her crush on Michelle really that obvious? Why didn’t anyone tell her until now? How often was she caught staring at her? How many times did people believe she was angry at her?

The questions flooded her mind and made the rest of her freeze up. She really didn’t want anyone to have the wrong impression of her thoughts and feelings towards Michelle, but people had probably already assumed that she was angry or just straight-up despised her.

Either way, she needed to make things right between them and set the record straight. She needed to let everyone know that she did not hate Michelle, nor was she holding any grudges against her.

“Michelle,” Carmen approached the other woman in the breakroom, “Can you meet me in my office later? There’s something I want to discuss with you.”

“Alright, what time should I meet you there?” Michelle replied, her tone as professional as ever.

“I’d say around four o’clock would be alright.”

“Okay then, I’ll see you later.” Michelle smiled and grabbed her items from the table before leaving.

There, now Carmen could make sure that everyone knew that she did not hate Michelle whatsoever. She proudly walked back over to Jonah and took a long sip of her coffee.

“Did you mean to use your ‘meet me in the parking lot’ voice?” He asked, making her almost spit out her coffee.

“Did I actually use that kind of voice?” Great, now she was embarrassed even more.

“Yeah…it did not look good.”

“Shit, and after all the effort I went through to make it seem like I didn’t hate her. Screw it, guess I’ll just have to explain everything to her tonight.”

“Good luck with that one.” Jonah took a sip of his tea and left to find his girlfriend, leaving his embarrassed friend standing in the breakroom, contemplating her life choices.

---

 Carmen was absolutely panicking now. Why did she have to choose her office to confess her feelings? Sure, it was one way to ensure almost absolute privacy, but at the same time, she told herself not to mix her feelings with work.

Trying to calm herself down, she turned to typing away at her keyboard, focused on writing her report about their last case in Africa. However, in her flurry of trying to focus while getting increasingly frustrated with herself, she knocked her coffee mug, spilling it all over her computer, causing it to malfunction and letting out the worst high-pitched noise she could imagine. She launched the computer at the wall, trying to get it to stop making that horrid noise, and once it eventually stopped, she slouched in her chair in exhaustion.

A knock at the door suddenly caught her attention and made her pretend that she wasn’t just freaking out like crazy. “Come in.”

“I heard a lot of crashing noises. Is now a bad time?” Michelle asked, opening the door to Carmen’s office. 4 o’clock already? Carmen must’ve lost track of time in her work.

“No, not at all. Come in and sit down…but close the door behind you, please.”

Michelle closed the door behind her. Carmen wished she could ask her to lock it to ensure nobody would walk in on them, but she didn’t want to make herself seem any more suspicious than she already was.

“So, what did you call me in here for?” Michelle smiled, making the other detective’s heart leap in a way she never thought possible.

“Oh, um, well, I just wanted to set the record straight between us,” Carmen explained. How was she doing this? Why was she doing this?

“What is there to set straight?”

“Well, I figured people probably think I’m angry at you or that I hate you, but that’s really not the situation at all.”

“I understand. You do tend to look a little angry when you’re looking at me, or at least when I catch you looking at me.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. I’ve been told I have a resting bitch face,” Carmen chuckled, “But I don’t hate you. In fact, it’s the opposite.”

Michelle cocked her head to the side in curiosity, “And what would you mean by that?”

“Erm, well, it’s kind of embarrassing,” now was her chance, “But I think I have feelings towards you…romantic feelings.”

“Oh, thank goodness!”

“Huh?”

“I was worried the feelings weren’t mutual, which is why I never spoke to you about them, but I’m glad you feel the same way about me.”

Carmen smiled. She never knew that mixing her feelings with her work could feel so…relieving. She wished she could savour the feeling forever, but the news was out.

Instead, she settled for something she could savour for a bit longer. She pulled Michelle closer to her and pressed her lips against hers. The two melted into a kiss that lasted until they both heard another knock at the door. They both jolted around to see Elliot Clayton, the Bureau’s tech expert, standing there with a toolbox.

“I came to fix Carmen’s computer because I heard it making the sound of death, but I guess I’ll do that later.” He said, dropping the toolbox at the door before walking away.

“Well…at least he knows I don’t hate you.” Carmen joked, trying to lighten the atmosphere a little bit.

“Yep, because making out in an office is just what your average coworkers do.” Michelle laughed, pushing the other woman away playfully before being pulled back into the kiss, where they stayed for a little while longer.

[ryancrossfield]

Trauma truly happens in your favor, never for your failure.

Learning how to do the healing work to unfreeze repressed feelings and process through the stored pain of your ancient wounds will absolutely unleash your most special powers, grandest gifts and wisest self. This profound practice to purify your Heartset is also a sovereign act of self-love. Because you’re making yourself into a healthier, happier and freer human.

Unlocking and displacing past trauma isn’t a pastime for the weak. It sure isn’t flaky, irrelevant and a waste of time. Actually, it’s the pursuit of wise warriors. And genuine world-builders. Doing this healing is the finest way to ensure the rest of your life is successful and joyful and peaceful.

Dealing with your buried hurts and dissolving your suppressed emotions is so very practical and spectacularly relevant to a world-class life that soars, serves and knows its highest strength. This is the work that will magnify your prosperity, maximize performance and amplify your optimism. It really will, even if it seems like it won’t.

Deep emotional clearing practice will make you far more creative, because trauma deforms the brain and working through your ancient wounding optimizes your cognition. Interesting, right? The stress of difficult events pushed down into your subconscious causes major perceptive blocks, stunts the full release of neurotransmitters (such as dopamine and serotonin) that are essential to peak artistry, and actually reduces the ideal connection between the right and left hemispheres of your brain. Release the past pain, anger, sadness, guilt, shame and regret that you’ve been carrying like an albatross around your neck and you’ll begin to awaken the possibility that was previously hidden from your view.

Heartset healing will also guarantee that you unleash your fullest vitality. Holding on to trauma consumes a great deal of energy and natural inspiration. One of the results of ignoring what I call “accumulated scarring” is that you pretty much live in a state of limbic hijack, when the survival brain of the limbic system monopolizes your thinking and puts you into “fight, flight or freeze” mode. You lose the ability to rationally manage any threat (real or perceived) as your prefrontal cortex (the seat of higher thinking) is taken over by the amygdala, the less evolved and more primitive part of your brain.

Stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol are released and emotions such as fear, anxiety and anger are ignited. Note that the more severe the wounding of the past, the more intense will be the present-day response when an old wound is activated. You can always tell the size of your trauma (or someone else’s) by the degree of the overreaction. If it’s hysterical, it’s historical.

The spouse who rages over spilled milk has regressed to an earlier age and is living out the smothered pain of the past. The boss who abuses employees and sabotages business associates is simply revealing the weight of their own baggage. The motorist who stops their car and threatens a fistfight because they think you cut them off is being driven by the Field of Hurt I mentioned earlier, made up of all the invisible collected trauma they allowed to remain at their core.

I once sat next to a senior executive on an airplane who asked me to move from my assigned seat because he said he preferred it. When I said I’d like to stay where I was, he began kicking my briefcase. And promised he’d “take care of me” when we landed. Such is the result of failing to work through and let go of emotional injury. Healing your Heartset wounds will ensure that you no longer lash out at people who did not mistreat you. And bleed on people who did not cut you.

Working through your micro-trauma and any macro-trauma will also increase the quality of your health beautifully. Trauma and the daily stress response it hardwires into your system make crisis-oriented living your default, which in turn reduces your immunity and increases inflammation, making you more susceptible to life-threatening conditions such as diabetes, heart attack, stroke and cancer. Process through your emotional pain and you restructure the architecture of your Heartset to produce less toxicity and more of the wonderful neurochemistry that will improve your physicality. And extend your longevity.

As you optimize your emotional life, you’ll see a clear elevation of your happiness, gratefulness and capacity to feel versus intellectualize the miracles of life. Trauma causes a human being to disassociate from their body and run their days as an intellectual machine. Before I started doing this healing work myself, I’d think about the spectacle of a sunrise and reason about the gorgeousness of a piece of art rather than feel it—and inhabit it. Re-engaging your Heartset and reactivating your feelings, I promise you, is a completely different way of existing.

You begin to use your mind for those pursuits that the mind is good for. And you open your heart and fully experience the pleasure of everything else in your life.

What I’m really suggesting is that frozen trauma causes a human being to shut down intimacy with their emotional aliveness and retreat inside their head. This is done out of protection. We flee from our feelings as a trauma response because we don’t wish to relive old pain when it is freshly triggered by a current event.

So we set up a series of escapes and detours designed to avoid our emotions, such as overwork or drugs or too much alcohol. Or online addictions and social media distractions. We begin to live our lives as attention seekers versus magic workers. And we wonder why we never feel the intense happiness we hear is part of the human path.

Many people, on encountering difficulty or tragedy, end up with PTS (Post-Traumatic Stress). Yet if we exercise our wisdom and make difficult choices, each of us has the ability to exploit setbacks for the benefit of personal transformation. Struggle can actually be used for PTG: Post-Traumatic Growth. Just look at the greatest men and women of the world. The Nelson Mandelas and the Mother Teresas and the Mahatma Gandhis and the MLKs. Each of these advanced souls had one thing in common: they suffered far more than what is ordinary, but rather than allowing the hardship to tear them apart, they leveraged it to remake them. To build them up. To remember their highest moral virtue and their greatest spiritual merits. To convert devastating pain into unusual power. 

- from the Everyday Hero Manifesto

[happyandticklish]

Me: It’s so nice how when you’re tickled you can laugh freely and just be yourself ^^

Also me while getting tickled: If I laugh I will get a bad grade in getting tickled, something that is both normal to fear and possible to achieve. 

[witchsickness]

last time steve heard the sound of that engine, billy hargrove was behind the wheel of a burning car.

well. physically, at least. mentally, not so much.

‘you delivering the mail now?’

hargrove falters mid-step. his army boots make a deafening sound against the stillness of the slumber-silent neighborhood. the whole world’s asleep. everyone, except steve, and.

billy hargrove, apparently, currently standing on steve’s doorstep, blinking up at him. ‘fuck’re you doing here?’

steve lets out a laugh, leaning against the doorframe. ‘my house, you mean?’

‘it’s barely dawn.’

‘yet here we both are.’

the sun’s not even up yet. everything’s gray-tinted. way too bright for this time of day, and for the two hours of sleep steve managed last night. from the looks of him, hargrove didn’t do any better. the blue circles around his eyes tell a story steve only knows parts of. he knows the story was supposed to end on the floor of a mall.

he also knows the story kept going, and maybe that’s the most important part.

‘everytime i close my eyes—’ hargrove starts, then rubs at them with a hand mapped by scars. it won’t help, but he’s got a right to keep trying. still new to this, after all. steve gave up years ago.

‘yeah,’ he agrees, futilely, and then wonders if another fistfight would solve both their problems. knock their brains around enough to make them right again. probably not. might be worth a shot, if hargrove’s up for it.

his eyes are still shut against the world, though, so steve nods at the wrinkled paper in hargrove’s currently unoccupied hand. ‘that for me?’

slowly, hargrove lowers his bloodshot eyes to the paper like he’d forgotten all about it, letting out a scoff that steve would call amused if it didn’t sound so deranged.

‘you weren’t supposed to be awake,’ hargrove says, taking a step forward. then another, until he’s standing so close steve has a front-row seat to all the shades of blue around hargrove’s eyes, and all the ones inside, too.

huh, he thinks, maybe we will have that rematch, and watches, transfixed, as hargrove folds the paper and puts it back into his pocket. a saner person than steve would shut the door and go back to sleep.

what a bore their lives must be.

‘doesn’t matter,’ hargrove continues, ‘you hate me anyway, right? i’m just giving you one more reason. just this once.’

‘what—’ steve starts, and it’s a good thing he didn’t know where he was going with that, because he’s intercepted by hargrove’s palm on the side of his neck, and hargrove’s lips on his.

the sun’s not even up yet. hargrove’s lips are really, really soft. a bit on the dry side. very soft, nonetheless.

before steve’s brain has a chance to come back online and start processing one thing at a time, hargrove’s already pulling back with a breathless bye, harrington whispered between them. already walking away, fumbling with his car keys.

his synapses are still recalibrating, but steve’s legs move on instinct. he stops hargrove with a hand on his arm, keeping him from unlocking the car. ‘you’re leaving?’

hargrove heaves a resigned sigh. ‘yeah,’ he says, facing steve, ‘going home. just punch me and get it over with.’

‘cool, yeah, how about we just talk about—’ steve trails off, because somehow he missed it. the backseat’s almost hidden under all the boxes. ‘oh. oh, right. when—when’re you coming back?’

hargrove frowns at him, every line on his face a goodbye. leaving a place is only sad if you’re leaving something behind. ‘steve,’ he says, ‘i’m going home.’

it’ll take some getting used to, being what’s left behind. steve’s lips are still kiss-warm. that’ll go away, too.

‘i know,’ steve says, and leans in, presses his lips to the corner of hargrove’s mouth, so that the warmth can last a little longer. ‘when are you coming back?’

[hotxcheeto]

Headcanons of Caitlyn with a gf who has trouble sleeping😭 Insomnia kicking my ass, I just want this woman to wrap me up and cuddle me

━ 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐄𝐀 𝐓𝐎 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐏 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐄𝐏

𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜(𝙨) - Caitlyn Kiramman X Fem!Reader 𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 - Cursing

𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙? - Yeah/Nope

𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧'𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚 - this kinda sucks but its 3:45 in the morning love you anon, hope insomnia finally leaves you alone <3 I turned this into an actual fic instead because my bulleted lists weren't working and anything else wouldn't format if you'd still like headcanons please lmk!

The past few nights were long. You could count on one hand how many hours of sleep you've gotten over the past week. You were exhausted but every time you closed your eyes, your brain just couldn't seem to shut down. You weren't thinking of anything but sleep, yet it wouldn't come.

You were frustrated, sitting up against your bed frame staring into the darkness. The only light coming from the open balcony, the doors open, the sheer curtains blowing in the slight breeze. You had been staring at them for what felt like hours, almost like they'd fling off the curtain rod and fly at you.

At this point you wished they would. It would provide you more entertainment then you are getting now.

Caitlyn was fast asleep beside you, you'd been running for your fingers through her hair for.. for however long you'd been staring at those curtains now. She was hugging your waist, eyes blissfully closed, you wished you were her right now. Asleep, cuddling your girlfriend, at peace. Instead of ready to fistfight inanimate objects.

Finally you stood up, slowly moving out of Caitlyn's grip. You walked towards the balcony, stepping outside into the cold Piltover air. Taking in a deep breath as goosebumps rose up on your skin. You liked it, the feeling of the cold air kissing your cheeks. It helped you relax, glazing over your sweat covered forehead.

"How long?" You turned around to face the voice, Caitlyn's tired eyes meeting yours almost immediately. "I don't know." You mumbled, your hand still running your hand through your hair. "A while." You added, looking back towards the city. "What's wrong?" "Nothing. Just can't sleep." You shrugged, crossing your arms over your chest.

"Go back to sleep please. I'll be okay." "You look exhausted." She walked to stand beside you, much to your dismay, a groan escaping your lips. "Oh, don't give me that." "Cait, I'm fine." "You've looked exhausted for days." She ran her hand along your jaw before moving your head to look at her, her thumb caressing your cheek.

"Trouble staying asleep. Trouble falling asleep. They go hand in hand. Like a pair of shoes." She frowned, examining your tired face with her eyes before running her hands down your arms. "Cait, go back to bed." "No, not yet. Stay here, okay?" "Cait." You watched her begin to walk away and out the door leaving you alone in the moonlight of the balcony.

"Jesus Christ that girl does not listen." You muttered to yourself, turning back to Piltover. It was quiet, unlike the undercity, it was near silent besides the light whistles of the wind. Your hands holding onto the railing while you leaned against it, the chill of the wind brushing past you, but you barely moved.

Not until you heard the door open.

"My father used to make it for me when I couldn't sleep." You turned around to see her holding a teapot, walking over to the cart she keeps around the room. "What is it?" "Secret recipe." You smiled slightly, watching her poor it into two teacups before picking them both up.

"I think you'll like it." "I'm trusting you on this." "When have ever not trusted me, love." You smiled again, taking the teacup from her as she walked towards you, moving to stand by your side. "Well, remember that time when you told me that guard wasn't looking and-" "Stop talking or I'm dumping this on you."

You laughed as you brought the steaming cup to your lips. Ignoring the slight sting as you took a sip.

"Not as shitty as I assumed it would be." You shrugged while she only scoffed and rolled her eyes. Taking a sip of her own tea, watching as you leaned your back against the railing looking inside. "I'm sorry I woke you up." You talked quietly, looking over at her while she shook her head. "Don't be. You need sleep, and my shitty tea might be the way you get it."

"It's not shitty. It actually doesn't taste half bad." You admitted, taking another sip of the tea. She shivered when another gust of wind blew by. "Cait, let's go inside." You wrapped your arm around her body, running your hand up and down her cold skin. "Fine, as long as you promise to lay down. And drink all of your tea." "I promise, let's go."

You drank the rest of the tea and set the cup down on the tray as you walked past it. Caitlyn doing the same before laying down in bed her eyes settled on you as you stood staring at the balcony door.

"Y/n?" "Hmm? Oh, yeah. Sorry." You walked around the bed, getting into your now cold spot. The tea's taste and warmth still fresh in your mouth as laid down beside your girlfriend. "Y/n?" "Yeah?"

Her hand landed on your cheek, turning your head to make you look at her. Her head lay right beside your own so your faces were nearly touching.

"Tell me, next time." It took only a few minutes but your eyes finally felt heavy, your body relaxing against her touch as you nodded. "Okay." You turned onto your side, your foreheads touching as you scooted as close to her as possible. Your arm slipped around her waist, just as she liked it.

"Good. I love you." "I love you more Cait." Your eyes finally shut, your breathing slowing after a few minutes while Caitlyn only smiled. The tea slowly affected her as her own eyes began to droop. Her hand falling from your cheek.

The two of you finally asleep as was the rest of Piltover.

A/n: The feminine urge to jump off the balcony

[suffering-frombrain-rot]

So me and my friends have a document of quotes that we have said or heard and I felt the need to assign quotes to the members of buccigang, maybe ill do la squadra next?

Anyways we are stupid and say stupid things there are more for certain characters because they fit, Bruno and Fugo don't have as many and none that I could find sounded like Trish but anyways here we are

Mista: Get fucked! ......Nevermind I'm getting fucked

"You can like women I guess but you're gonna be hella fruity at the same time" - god creating Mista probably

Mista: If you put your funds to buying guns you'll have less butter proportions

Mista: Sometimes the best medicine is a bullet in the brain

Mista: I'm very miscellaneous

Mista: you don't understand. They want to steal my cheezits

Mista: I'm sure Mr. Whisper played many a round of hopscotch in his youth

Mista: Mustard on a hot dog is just piss on your dick

Mista: Whatever you're going through is not more important than beans

Bruno: I will gladly take care of any crotch goblins you have, I love kids!

Bruno: I only know it was a bone cuz I licked it

Bruno: Astral projected my ass directly to 9 years ago for about 3 seconds

Bruno: Welcome to the mafia, if the depression doesn't get you, the others will

Bruno: I'm not sad I'm just concerned

Bruno: Sorry I can't hear you over the sound over me PAYING

Bruno: Which one of you piddled on the table

Bruno: If I cant have a cool dad!!! ILL BE THE COOL DAD!!!! *honk honk*

Bruno, upon meeting Abbachio: You're an alcoholic? That's pretty poggers

Abbachio: Giorno, I've only known you for a short amount of time and I am going to punt you directly into the sun

Abbachio: I am not above hate criming a child

Abbachio, about Bruno: he's just out here getting attached to other men

Abbachio: You're 70% water go drown in your bodily fluids

Abbachio: You wanna see jesus?

Abbachio, to Fugo: Can you not give me a virus

Abbachio: *incoherent mumbling for 12 minutes accompanied by loud ass music* I can't deal with this *mumbling continues for like 30 minutes*

Abbachio: Shut up grandma I'm gonna put you in the gadamn nursing home!

Abbachio: Ahhh it be the cockroaches up in this peace! Is he trying to kill me

Abbachio: I just came back from WhatTheFuckVille, population huh?? To hear yall talking about bug fuck

Fugo: I'm like a plague but I don't spread, I linger

Fugo: I want to charge into people and gore them

Fugo: you are 15 pounds of nothing

Fugo: Classy men don't eat doors

Fugo: I identify as a threat

Fugo: I was gonna beat you over pickles that weren't mine I hope you know that

Fugo: You and your 3 inch lightsaber are disappointing

Fugo: Im going to staple you to the ceiling fan

Giorno: I've harassed my therapist with moths

Giorno: why do you insist on assaulting me with fake fruit

Giorno: We're going to exploit capitalism and pay for the couples ticket when we're single

Giornio: maybe illegal activity is the way to go

Giorno: honestly i can tolerate capitalism when theres dragons and ritualistic sacrifice involved . but ONLY when dragons and ritualistic sacrifice are involved

Giorno: Date idea: plot to overthrow the government

Giorno: Sky daddy really fucked me in the parent department

Giorno: The boss smells like a sussy baka

Giorno: I’m a minor, I have a giant eagle advantage card

Giorno: Ice cream grew bones the day I did this

Narancia: I'm dumb and queer Bucciarati, all i need is caffeine and i'll be fine i'll be ready and willing and able to fistfight god and fuck the devil

Narancia: fuck Pythagoras, me and my homies hate Pythagoras

Narancia: I was fully ready to drop everything and believe Bucky Barnes was a sexy demon butler

Narancia: DO YOU PROUD OF YOURSELF

Narancia: I share a lot of common interests with neurodivergent lesbians

Narancia: Oh, that’s oxygen?

Narancia: Mr. Whisper and the proclaimers played hopscotch together

Narancia: There’s a Snoop Dogg lego set?

Narancia: I'm about to break all known laws of aviation