#one way or another they have some kind of father wound existing in their charts

[plutorine]

i'm pretty sure there are articles/essays written about this already, but i really want to write about and touch on the "fatherless" motif (whether that be in the form of loss from death, negligence, absence, etc.) that dostoevsky uses for most of his characters with some elements of astrology (because i've seen dostoevsky's chart)

[snkpolls]

SnK Episode 72 Poll Results (for Anime Only Watchers)

The poll closed with 61 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results for the Anime Only Watchers’ poll. If you wish to see the results for the Manga Readers’ poll, click here.

Anime only watchers, beware of spoilers if you venture over to the manga readers’ poll results.

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RATE THE EPISODE 61 responses

Unlike the last couple of weeks, this episode brought in a higher amount of 5-star rankings, indicating the episode was overall well received. 

crazy intense crazy edge of seat 

10/10

It was too short. I need more. Can't wait for the next episode❤️

WHICH MOMENT AT LEVI AND ZEKE’S LOCATION WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 61 responses

There were many focuses this episode, so we opted to split up the favorite moments into a few separate parts. Though Levi and Zeke’s scenes didn’t talk up the bulk of the episode, they were still prominent. 60.7% most enjoyed watching as Levi agonized over the deaths of his comrades after hearing Eren had escaped from prison, doubting whether the deaths had meaning or not in the end. Far behind that, at 16.4%, was Zeke and Levi’s banter about whether or not Levi is popular. 9.8% were happy to get the story about what happened to Connie’s village back in episode 26.

WHICH MOMENT INVOLVING FALCO, GABI, THE BLOUSE FAMILY AND NICOLO WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 61 responses

When it came to the moments where Gabi, Falco and the others were the main focus, the fandom (at 41%) most appreciated the moment where Sasha’s father talks about why he believes Sasha died, choosing not to punish Gabi for her misdeed. 23%, on the other hand, were happy to see Nicolo reveal the truth about Gabi to the Blouse family as he held Falco hostage. 13.1% enjoyed the altercation between Gabi, Falco and Nicolo beforehand. 11.5% enjoyed the overall tension between Nicolo and Gabi arguing over the circumstances of Sasha’s death. 

I really liked the scene where Niccolo reveals the truth about Gabi and Falco. I wasn’t sure how the reveal would end up happening/when it would happen, but every beat was so satisfying.

WHICH MOMENT INVOLVING THE SURVEY CORPS WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 60 responses

The Survey Corps inadvertently get involved in the restaurant drama and manage to drag in the Yeagerists with them. Though, when it comes to moments that involved the Survey Corps, Eren showing up to menacingly greet Armin and Mikasa was at the top of 65% of respondents’ lists. 

floch epic smile

Eren literally stole the episode with that casual greeting.

Eren just dropping his existence on Armin, Gabi and Mikasa.. nice moment.

ZEKE ACCUSES LEVI OF BEING UNPOPULAR. LEVI DENIES THIS. WHAT DO YOU THINK? 61 responses

During their conversation in the forest, Levi accuses Zeke of being guitless over the fate of Ragako village, to which Zeke retorts by saying Levi must not be popular. 44.3% of respondents aren’t sure whether or not Levi is or ever has been popular, but got a good laugh at seeing him get so defensive over the accusation. 24.6% feel that he must be popular… he is humanity’s strongest, afterall. 19.7% think if he is popular, it’s only among the Survey Corps. 

Petra and Levi crumbs!!!

Well he’s popular in the real world.

He just don’t care

PAPA BLOUSE SAYS THAT IT IS UP TO THE ADULTS TO SHOULDER THE SINS OF THE PAST, AND TO “KEEP THE CHILDREN OUT OF THE FOREST.” WHAT DO YOU THINK? 59 responses

This question had a little less to do with the content of the anime, but more where viewers stand from a general worldview when it comes to what Papa Blouse had to say. The majority, at 57.6%, do feel that it’s the adult’s responsibilities to do everything they can not to burden children with the problems created in the past. 22% feel the opposite, however, and believe that children are no exception when it comes to dealing with the problems the world faces. 18.6% are somewhere in the middle, agreeing that ideally children wouldn’t be forced to bear the brunt of our sins, but that it is regrettably unavoidable. 

All problems in AoT are there because of children inherting their parents/ancestors sins. Stop it, listen to Mr. Blouse

WERE YOU SATISFIED WITH THE EXPLANATION OF WHAT HAPPENED IN RAGAKO VILLAGE? 60 responses

We appeared to finally get an answer about what happened in Connie’s village 4 years ago. Overall the majority of the fandom has accepted it as fact, with 55% feeling that it really cleared things up for them, while 11.7% accepted it but felt that it was a cheap explanation. 31.7% feel that it was a lie fabricated by Zeke and want to see if any other explanation surfaces in the future. 

I felt like they went over it very fast, would have like a more in depth explanation

DO YOU THINK THAT ZEKE CARES ABOUT THE SURVIVAL OF THE ELDIAN RACE? 59 responses

Zeke claims his actions have all been for Eldia’s sake. Levi is sure suspicious of this statement, but what about the fandom? 45.8% don’t want to say one way or another if Zeke is being genuine about this claim and want to wait and see how things unfold. 32.2% are absolutely positive that this is a lie, and that Zeke would rather see the Eldian race perish. Only a small handful feel the opposite, and believe Zeke genuinely wants to see Eldians thrive. 

i think yes, but only for their use as possible weapons as titans?

LEVI AND ZEKE BOTH SEEM TO AGREE THAT THE MILITARY IS WASTING TIME. BUT WHAT ABOUT YOU? 59 responses

57.6% landed somewhere in the middle on this question, feeling that it’s possible the military is taking too long to make a move on, well, anything… but that they also can’t just leave caution to the wind when it comes to their delicate situation. 35.6%, on the other hand, feel they are taking too long and there is really no excuse for it (other than, perhaps, incompetence). Only a sliver of respondents think that they aren’t wasting time and doing the best they can to get things under control. 

They are in stand-by for too much time, time and events are catching up with them 

They should be listening more to Eren and prepare for Marley's inevitable attack. Marley and the Warriors are the true enemy, not Eren.

KAYA SEEMS TO THINK THAT SASHA AND NICOLO WERE IN LOVE. WHAT DO YOU THINK? 60 responses

58.3% of respondents believe Kaya is right, and that Nicolo and Sasha had mutual romantic feelings for each other. On the other hand, 38.3% feel that the romantic feelings were purely one-sided on Nicolo’s part. We may never know for sure without Sasha’s perspective. 

We haven't seen Sasha interact with Nicolo expect when eating his food so it's hard to tell

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT NICOLO ATTACKING GABI AND FALCO? 60 responses

Nicolo wasn’t at all welcoming of Gabi bragging about taking Sasha’s life, and in his anguish tried to attack her. 56.7% feel that while this isn’t particularly excusable, it was an understandable thing to do, given the circumstances. 38.3%, on the other hand, were only disappointed that Falco got in the way. One respondent feels the opposite, and hopes that Nicolo gets some kind of karmic justice for his action. 

Falco always takes for Gaby I'm sad 

Attacking Falco, big nope. Attacking Gabi, TWO THUMBS UP!

Glad Nicolo got to punch Gabi, but I'm disappointed he was talked out of it with talk no jitsu. Shoulda killed Gabi on the spot.

HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT MIKASA’S COMPASSION TOWARD GABI? 59 responses

After Papa Blouse’s speech, Mikasa checks on Gabi and asks to see her wounds. This is quickly followed up by her outright protecting Gabi from Kaya’s rage. 37.3% were just happy to see her get any focus that wasn’t centered around Eren, while 30.5% have nothing but praise for our heroine. 23.7%, on the other hand, wish she hadn’t intervened at all and let things play out as they may. 

Bad Mikasa, bad! I’ve lost ALL love and respect for her now!

Gabi should have died and I will forever hate Mikasa and Artur for not letting her die

Hating Mikasa forever for stopping Kaya

AFTER SEEING GABI’S EMOTIONAL RESPONSES OVER THE BLOUSE FAMILY’S GRIEF, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT HER? 60 responses

We got a colorful pie chart with this one. 26.7% felt happy to see her finally getting some (hopefully) positive character development, while 23.3% felt the complete opposite - that they don’t think she truly feels anything about it and that they still don’t enjoy her character. 21.7% are happy to see she feels some remorse, but it’s not enough to make them like her. However, 16.7% are starting to feel more warmly toward her. 

i dont like her, but i like that shes developing as a character. If she finally made the connection that all of them, as human beings, shouldnt be carryign the burdens of their past and defining eaxh ither by the mistakes of their ancestors, creating a never ending cycle of violence, which she is shown as on the brink of umderstanding, then i might begin to like her character a little more

I love seeing Gabi’s slow realization that the islanders aren’t “devils”. Girl needs some kindness, and I’m glad that they can forgive her.

I still hate Gabi. No development will ever change that.

NICOLO SAYS THAT YELENA GAVE THEM INSTRUCTION TO SPIKE THE WINE. DO YOU THINK SHE IS THE ULTIMATE MASTERMIND BEHIND THIS SCHEME? 58 responses

Changing focus here, we move onto the wine plot. 39.7% believe that Zeke is the ultimate mastermind behind the wine plot. 20.7% don’t want to say for sure who exactly was in charge of it, and 17.2% believe it is purely Yelena’s doing. 10.3% think it may be someone else that we are unaware of just yet. 

I think Yelena is definitely cooperating with Eren.. but not Zeke? 

i think she got something from zeke, but then continued on to do what she thinks that zeke would want, in zeke's name

FLOCH IS AWARE OF THE SPIKED WINE. DO YOU THINK EREN IS AS WELL? 61 responses

When it comes to Eren’s possible awareness of the wine plot, 42.6% believe that he definitely knows about it, while only 27.9% think that he’s completely oblivious to it. 21.3% didn’t want to say one way or another, and the remainder have already been spoiled on this.

WHY DO YOU THINK THE WINE WAS SPIKED WITH ZEKE’S SPINAL FLUID? 58 responses

Nearly half of respondents (48.3%) believe the wine was spiked with Zeke’s spinal fluid as an insurance in case Paradis does anything to threaten Zeke. 13.8% feel it is on a lesser scale, and that he is simply being cautious about Eren and his intentions. 17.2% believe it’s not related to a potential betrayal at all, but rather the ability to have pure titans available should Paradis be attacked. 

He wants to wipe out the higher ranks to control Paradis himself

I really don't know but I'm sure he has a great plan in mind

WHAT DO YOU THINK WILL HAPPEN TO FALCO? 58 responses

The majority of the fandom feel more confident than not about Falco’s future, feeling that though he may become a titan, he will be saved by one of the titan shifters. 10.3% believe that he won’t actually be titanized at all, with another 10.3% stating they’re simply not sure. Only a small handful actually feel more bleak about Falco’s fate.

WHY DID NICOLO CONFESS? 59 responses

45.8% of respondents feel that Nicolo felt pressed to confess about the wine due to multiple factors. 30.5% believe he did so because he didn’t want to lie about the ramifications to his friends in the Survey Corps. 10.2% believe he was moved by the Blouse family’s compassion, and 6.8% felt that he knew the jig was up, and another 6.8% believe he simply felt guilty for attacking Gabi and Falco.

WHAT DO YOU THINK EREN WANTS TO TALK TO ARMIN AND MIKASA ABOUT? 59 responses

37.3% believe that the contents of EMA’s conversation will revolve around what Eren’s goals are. 13.6% believe that he’s there to negotiate with them about something or another. 11.9% believe that he’s going to try to get them on board with his plan and try to recruit them as Yeagerists. 10.2% aren’t sure what he’s seeking out, and only one person thinks he’s going to threaten them. The rest have all been spoiled. 

I think he gonna tell tem he is the new final boss of the game 😂

all of the above except threaten snd ive been spoiled 

possibly the first two, i think hes going to ask them to join him after letting them have a little bit of insight, and possibly somehting about their past as friends

DO YOU THINK EREN WILL COME TO “UNDERSTAND” WHATEVER IT WAS MIKASA AND ARMIN WANTED TO SAY TO HIM? 56 responses

Though it’s not clear what Armin wanted to say to Eren beyond trying to figure out what his goal is, 46.4% believe that Eren won’t be having any of it and will not come to an understanding. 41.1%, however, feel the opposite and think that Eren will come around to whatever it is Armin and Mikasa want. The remainder have been spoiled.

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

Voice acting on the revelation that Gabi is the one who killed Sasha is so superb! I like how our characters want to stop the cycle of revenge even if they appear as unrealistically kind. And Floch, he looks like a demon! It looks like he just feels so great to be in control and I just want things to turn around for him. And Levi's popularity with the ladies? I like the little comedy sprinkled into these episode. I just feel for him the irony of the situation that the person they protected with their all turned out to be like that.

It was sooooo good. The scene with Gabi and Nicolo had so much emotion in it. And I paused and said "holy shit" out loud when  Eren appeared

Caused lots of conflicting feelings towards characters and provided a lot of character development

The wine was definitely sus

Super looking forward to the next episode...I feel like something absolutely crazy is gonna happen! thanks MAPPA<3

Nicolo could have easily been the MVP of this chapter. Then he backed down because of that coward Artur Braus's cringe speech. Shame.

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 59 responses

Thanks again to everyone who participated! 

If you haven’t yet, please take a moment to send in your vote for up to 5 favorite characters for our 2021 character popularity poll! 

[mssr-moony-esq]

Remus J. Lupin ~  A Christmas Story in Three Acts

Act I

Christmas Eve - 2001

He is six years old and everything hurts.  It's the day after the first full moon after his father left, and it's been the worst one yet.  The scar across his nose that becomes the most recognizable aspect of his body is fresh and new, loaded up with a ton of muggle antiseptic and the smell is stinging his nose.  Mum is in the kitchen and she keeps crying.  Remus does not.  He's a big boy and daddy is gone so he can't cry.  He has to be strong.  Mum wants that from him.  

Remus sits by the Christmas tree and fiddles with the lights strung across it and looks down.  He sees the meager collection of presents under the tree and scowls when he see the one marked "Daddy" in his uneven letters.  It's a book and he picked it out himself, with Mum at the bookshop.  It's Call of the Wild and Remus had liked the dogs on the front cover.  He liked the idea of a story about sled dogs, he likes them being free in the wild.  It calls to something new inside of him.  He doesn't know enough to feel bad about being a werewolf, and maybe if his dad can read a nice book about sort of wolves he'll stop being sad all the time.

But it's pointless now, his father is gone and mum won't stop crying and every part of his body hurts and hurts and hurts.  Remus picks up the package and  and tosses it into the fireplace with a kind of recklessness that he would only very rarely display.  It's still burning when his mum comes back into the room with a fakely cheery "Happy Christmas" and holding a plate of cookies and hot chocolate.  Remus is six but he knows how to lie already and he smiles at her and listens to the crackle of burning paper behind him.

Act II

Christmas Day- 2008

He is thirteen years old and he's at Hogwarts for Christmas.  The moon had fallen on Christmas Eve exactly this year, and there was no way he could have gone home, even if his mum was desperate to have him.  It was two year away from knowing exactly why, his mum didn't want him to grow up quite that fast, regardless of the fact that he already was quite grown up.  He might be more or less alone on Christmas, but he doesn't mind, so much.  Hogwarts feels more like home than any other home ever has.  He has friends here, people that make an effort to understand him, that care about him.  They may be home with thier families, but they love him anyway, he knows because they send him letters and gifts.  It's new.  Remus feels like it will never stop being new.

Like always, Madam Pomfrey is there when he wakes up, standing at the door of the shack with her medical bag and a robe.  Today she's wearing a little Santa hat and smiles brightly at him, like he's not a naked, gangly teenager with blood dripping down into his eyes and a gash torn deep into the flesh of his right thigh.  "Happy Christmas, darling," she says brightly and wraps him up.  She chatters on while she tends to the worst of his wounds talking about how cheery the castle looks this morning and the fine feast waiting.  When Remus doesn't respond, she falls silent and and just hums under her breath, some half remembered Christmas carol from before life went upside down.  

He doesn't know he's crying until Madam Pomfrey wraps him up into a tight hug and runs her fingers gently over her hair.  "No, no I'm fine," he says a few moments later, and it's true.  He's just realized that he'd never felt more accepted, more himself in his entire life.  There is no judgement, there is no hiding, not in this moment, not with his friends and when he goes back into the castle there will be medicine for the pain and there will be meals and there will be owls from his friends and it will be the best Christmas yet.

{ Madam Pomfrey stays the whole day with him.  First it's just medicine and breakfast, and then it's her singing softly while he plays Christmas tunes on the violin.  She watches him open his Christmas letters and presents, fondly and easily, with none of the caged anxiety his mother always watched him with.  Later, they have spiced hot cider and and Remus tells her secrets that he always wanted to but never felt like he could tell her mother, fragile as she was.  He cries again, several times, but when he's tucked in at the end of the day, he has a smile on his face.  It was a good day. }

Act III

Christmas Night - 2015

He is twenty years old.  Mum had a bad reaction to the current course of chemo overnight and she had to be admitted.  The hospital is all fake cheer and brightly painted horror.  The nurse gives his mother another dose of the Zofran, and she stops vomiting a few minutes later.  She looks pale and wan though, and the nurse says its because she's dehydrated and that's what the fluids are for.  Remus knows.  It's not magical medicine, but he still knows. He did the research, he knows how it works.  He used magic to look into his mother's chart earlier, the things he wasn't supposed to see.  He knows her white blood cell count is low, too low.  They will give her CSFs for that.  Her red blood cell count is low too, and soon they will be hanging bags of blood and plasma and platelets so she doesn't bleed out the new blood they'll be pumping into her.  He knows that every progress note the doctor writes ends with PROGNOSIS POOR.  Remus has met with a Dr. Golden who works for the palliative care department and he talks about quality of life and pain control and time frames with and without treatment.  He is twenty years old and he is an adult, but this feels too much for him, to be asked to make decisions for his mother who can't do it herself because the metastasis and the drugs make her hazy and forgetful and not herself.  

She goes to sleep around ten pm and Remus knows he should stay with her, but he also can't.  He feels like his skin is too tight and it'll start spilling out his insides on to the cold white tile.  

So he leaves.  He goes to James and Lily's first.  He talks to Lily in halted tones about what he knows, what he fears, how impossible it is for him to know what to do.  He doesn't cry then, but his fingers tremble and his voice feels like cut glass crawling out of his throat.  Lily wants him to stay and he almost does, but their house is almost too bright and too happy and he loves them so, but he can't take it anymore, he can't be a burden on a happy day for them.

He goes to Sirius then, wanders outside his window and refuses to say anything until he's spotted because of course he is, who paces back and forth in front of someone's window like that in the middle of the night?  Remus doesn't tell Sirius anything at all.  He sits down on the curb out front and Sirius sits next to him.  Eventually Remus pulls out a cigarette and hardly smokes it, watching the ash burn down to his fingers.  At some point he leans his head on Sirius's shoulder.  It's everything and not enough all at once.  

He leaves when dawn starts to light the sky, and everything cuts at him like knives, the cold that's seeped down into his bones, the ache of his heart that feel fractured.  He goes back to the rundown cottage he and his mother share, and knows then on some level that it will be his alone soon.  Five years they say, five years at the most and they will be painful they will be hard.  One year without treatment, but kinder and maybe Remus is a monster, but he want's everything done, he can't lose her too not now.  Not ever, but especially not now.  But nothing will change the fact that she's going to die. And soon, sooner or later.  

He thinks about screaming, watching the snow melt off the windows from the kitchen sink.  But then he remembers Lily and the soft way her hand clutched his, and James with his awkward but endearing concern watching from the doorway, knowing well enough not to intrude on the world that Remus and Lily could so often create around themselves.  He remembers Sirius who just lets him exist in the quiet fucked up way that he is, even though it probably killed him not to try and fix it.  

It occurs to him that if (when) his mother dies he won't actually be alone. It's a strange thing, a strange gift as Christmas Day faded into the odd time after Christmas and before the beginning of the New Year.  He has people.  He has family.  It's something he probably ought to have known already, but this is honestly the first time it's occurred to him.  

He's twenty years old, and he is old and young and alone and more connected than he has ever been in his life.  It's everything and he looks out at the snow falling around him and smiles through tears.

[ocular-intercourse]

🍂 and 🌹 for any of your ocs! Id love to learn more about them ;0;!

 thank youu!!!

I’ll stick to my main 5 for this one

 🌹 Does your OC have any scars? How and when did they get them?

You know, uh, i’m mostly aware of my tendencies, i know i like scars, and i know i give most of my characters at least one major traumatizing event, but that question really distilled that:

Finn has one in his left eyebrow from where his abusive dad caught him with his wristwatch when he was like.. 19 or something.

Ace has one on his abdomen and back from when his brother tried (or faked trying??) to kill him, pierced straight through with a sword.

Teddy is baby. I assume he has scars here or there like most people do, a scraped knee as a kid or whatever, but none that are super noticeable.

Asher gets a scar in the latter half of his story. He survives a shot to the head when an enemy of his father’s wants to use him to get revenge. He loses a bunch of teeth, has to get reconstructive jaw surgery, and has a scar from the left corner of his mouth to his ear, a piece of ear is missing. With his father’s money and power, he could have gotten more surgeries to reduce scarring and repair stuff but he got so sick of being in the hospital and under direct control of his father that he left the as soon as possible. He might get surgery someday to make it all a bit less visible, but it’s not exactly high on his priority list right now. He’s no fan of looking at himself anyways, and maybe he uses it to torture himself a little for all the things he considers himself guilty of.

Gyo has, hold on let me count for a sec, 12 scars? One he gave himself to escape a slave owner who considered him too ruined afterwards to keep (the facial scar), one he got from when his mentor tried to kill him (the one on his chest) a bunch of scars from his early army days. There are healers in the empire army who can completely heal a wound, but they are not typically available to low rank soldiers. So those are either from when he was too unimportant to be healed that way, or from situations where he did not have access to healers for some other reason. He himself can keep his wounds together if he focuses on it, so he does not bleed out, but that’s about the extent of his healing ability. At some point of the story he gets a mean scar on his back. He catches a poisoned crossbow bolt meant for the prince that does quite the number on his body. I have a handy scar chart for him actually:

🍂 How does your OC think they will die? Does death scare them? Is there any reason for this?

Ah, wonderful question.

Finn does, very violently, try not to think about it. The thought makes him nauseous. He hates thinking about getting older, not only cause dying scares him, but more so cause he does not want to lose the people around him. He feels like the clock is ticking, always, and it stresses him out a lot. He is the kind of person to get panic attacks picturing something bad happening to his family randomly, cause bad shit has happened to him enough to make these kind of fears reasonable to him. On the other hand, he’s very paranoid about somehow someday losing to his depression. He’s manic-depressive, he’s been struggling with suicidal thoughts for most of his life. One of the big reasons he’s not gone through with it yet is because his best friend killed herself when he was 18 or so, and the whole thing was so painful he keeps that feeling in mind and reminds himself of what he would put his loved ones through if he ever decided to kill himself. So, on one side he is 99,9% sure he will NEVER ever do such a thing to himself, but he spends a lot of time afraid of that remaining 0,01% chance of getting into a mental state where he does not care anymore.

Ace does not really care? I don’t think he’s capable of thinking ahead all that much. Also, with him being in a greek-demigod setting dying is a weird concept anyways, with the underworld and all that. He’s honestly probably a bit too relaxed about it. More of an, ah when it happens, we’ll see what to do about it then, kinda guy.

Teddy is in the same setting, but since he is much more attached to other people in his life, specifically his human family, he’s much more troubled about it. Cause he does not know exactly how this works. Do they go to the underworld too? Will he be able to meet them there, or will they be in other areas? Will they suffer? He really does not like the idea of having an eternal afterlife of sorts if he can’t have his loved ones around him. It’s all a lot to think about and he tends to push those thoughts away.

Asher is all like, excuse the Hamilton quote, ‘i imagine death so much it feels more like a memory‘. He wants to die so badly, it’s pretty much always on his mind, cause he’s in a constant state of suffering and fear and stress and pressure and he’s so so done. If it wasn’t for his younger brothers, he would not be alive today. Eventually you can count Devin among the reasons he’s still going on but that would never have gotten that far if he hadn’t forced himself to stay alive to protect his siblings. Maybe without Devin he wouldn’t even have the energy to keep going despite his brothers, that’s definitely one thing Asher keeps telling him. To him death seems like the perfect peaceful solution to all his problems, just an off switch and then it’s finally all over, not feeling anything anymore?? If there is an afterlife, which he would not want, maybe he could see Adam again. Though that thought is equally scary and wonderful. He’s constantly much closer to a complete breakdown and suicide than most people around him expect. He would be very methodical about it too. Cause nothing about that seems scary to him. The second he would make that decision he would have closure, it would be very purposefully, calm and collected. But, as long as his brothers do exist and he still has the power left to protect them he’ll just be this, uh, thing, very zombie like, going through the motions just functioning, puppeteering this body around and trying to feel as little as possible. With Devin around he can even squeeze some joy out of it every once in a while, which is probably one reason he tries to deny his feelings for so long cause that just makes things unnecessarily complicated?? Not having another reason to live was much easier.

For Gyo the thought of death is probably the most distant. Sure, in theory, as a soldier he’s always willing to lay his life on the line, for the empire and especially for the prince. It’s just that he finds the probability of losing in a fight pretty slim. And if it does happen, when the moment comes when he gets to sacrifice himself for the empire, it’ll all be worth it. He has already gotten more out of life than most other people, being technically immortal, un-aging and all. Other than that, he is just way too sure in his own abilities to fear death all too much. Which is a little ironic cause of all my boys he’s the one that actually does die. Said bolt he catches in the back, there’s no cure for the poison, and it reacts more strongly the more supernaturally enhanced a person is. It was pretty much made to kill Gyo (not personally, but people of his caliber) and make him suffer as much as possible on the way out. It’s a slow and excruciating death. The soldiers and medic around want to make it easier on him and kill him outright but Noor forbids it for the slim chance of Gyo somehow miraculously surviving. Cause it’s Gyo?? He can do anything??! But all that does is make him suffer till he does die eventually. (Now that’s a fun guilty conscience for the prince being selfish in that moment). So Gyo goes to hell and brawls his way out of it and he gets a whole new insight into how things work. He did already die in the most painful way possible and came back from it, i imagine that makes him feel even more indestructible than he did before. If he dies again, he’ll just… sell his soul once more? Or more likely, beat up the thing that runs things down there to let him out again? The more time he spends with that entity the less he fears them so there’s a good chance they won’t be able to talk him into any more deals.

[robbyrobinson]

Fanfic: Enemies Within

A @dokidokiliteraturegirls fanfic (webcomic was created by @youhavethewrong

                                       [CHAPTER ONE]

“Quick, everyone, into the club room!” Monika yelled.

The girls’ rapid footsteps echoed down the halls. The entire school was tainted in a deep shade of red. The walls pulsated and contorted into different geometric shapes. Whatever was chasing after the girls was jetting fast, bouncing off the vibrant walls with ease. The school itself became a barren wasteland devoid of students and teachers. Outside of the building all of the windows had been shattered. 

“It’s gaining on us!” Natsuki remarked.

“I wish Anthy was here,” Yuri sighs, “if she didn’t decide to face off against that beast, she would’ve deleted them a long time ago.” 

Ako darted on the twisting floors, managing to avoid some obstructions. “We’re almost to the literature club!” 

The black and white girl was correct. The entrance to the door of the literature club was within their grasp. The floors may be writhing and shifting, but if they kept their footing, they should make it. Natsuki turned to look at her lover and smiled. “We’re almost there, dear.” 

Yuri’s mouth formed an O as if she were about to comment. Before she could, her left foot hit a bump in the floor and to her lover’s horror and bewilderment, she crashed onto the floor with an ungraceful thud. Yuri moaned in pain. “It’s my knee...I bruised it.” The walls merged into the ground and lifted the purple-haired girl in the air, propelling her backward. 

“YURI!” Natsuki screamed in disbelief. 

Yuri was sprawled on her back recoiling in pain. “Natsuki, you have to escape without me.” 

Tears sweltered in Natsuki’s eyes. “No! Not after everything we’ve been through, you can’t give up now!” 

Yuri started to cry as well. “I’m badly hurt...I’ll just slow you guys down. It’s okay.” 

Natsuki shook her head violently in refusal. “My life was nothing but misery before I met you at the literature club. My father...everyone ostracizing me and seeing me weird for my obsession with manga and...other things...Yuri, you lighten up my world! I don’t want to lose you now! Please stand up!” 

Yuri tried to get up, but the tremors in the ground forced her back down. The creature was now advancing towards them faster than before. “Forget me, Natsuki! If you won’t do it for me, do it for us!” 

Natsuki looked at her other club members then back at Yuri. She did this a few times that felt like an eternity. Her thoughts were being drowned out by the quaking noise and Yuri’s vocal insistence. Natsuki grabbed the sides of her temples in anguish. “Why do I have to choose like this!?” 

With that, she ran towards Yuri. Ako stopped momentarily to see what was happening. “Wait, Natsuki!” 

She wanted to say more. She had to say more. She didn’t want to lose anyone else today. But Monika grabbed her only arm for she had lost her metallic arm in the fighting. “We don’t have much time,” Monika said solemnly, “it pains me, but Natsuki made her decision.” 

“B-but...” Ako stammered. Monika dashed to the door and bent down to bite the handle of the door. Her teeth grasped the handle tightly giving Monika a slight toothache from them grinding on the handle to open it counterclockwise. She couldn’t help but pray to whatever forces out there in the universe to give her this small bit of strength to do this one simple task. With the door opened, Monika tossed Ako into the room and slammed the door. 

Natsuki somehow made it to Yuri and placed herself on top of her girlfriend. Yuri was still hurting slightly, but feeling the warmth of Natsuki’s body did remedy some of it. Tears were streaming down her face. “That was quite an immature thing to do, Natsuki.” 

Natsuki cried as well. Her tears fell on Yuri’s chest soaking it. “Hey, you know me, Yuri, I am a child after all. 

The two shared a deep, passionate kiss with each other breaking it a few moments to breathe. Natsuki’s lips still tasted like cupcakes. Yuri’s were a sweet lavender scent. Their chaser towered over the couple and chuckled. “That would be sweet, but I already sacrificed my ties a long time ago.” 

Natsuki looked up to see the attacker. They remained in a stable motion despite the walls and floors collapsing in on themselves. In fact, Natsuki could’ve sworn that whoever it was, they were levitating in the air. The attacker was radiating a red energy and was gathering into a violent ball of dark power. Natsuki grit her teeth. 

“You’ll never get away with this!” 

“That’s what they all say.” 

Ako paced back and forth when she stopped in her tracks to hear several blasts and sizzling. Ako whimpered to herself knowing what happened but she could not even dare to imagine the immense pain Yuri and Natsuki were put in.She looked over at Monika. Monika was putting on a straight face, or at least a visual of it. She heard everything as well, but she had to be strong in their memory. Now they had to barricade the door to keep the attacker at bay. 

Ako was grabbing whatever wasn’t glued down to the ground and blockading the door with it. Desks, chairs, boxes. Whatever was readily available, Ako made use of. “That won’t hold them for long, Monika, so hurry!” 

Monika had her laptop in hand and activated it. “I’m hurrying, I’m hurrying!” 

Bang. Bang. Bang.

Red energy illuminated through the cracks of the door. Ako responded by throwing in her body weight to slow down the attacker’s thrashing. She shoved her hands firmly on the door and pressed her feet on the ground. “Grrr....can’t hold on much longer!!” 

“It’s finishing loading, Ako, just hold on a little longer,” Monika said reassuringly.

Ako’s sweat moistened her hands, making them slippery. Her arms were chafing and on the verge of failure. “I have to do this for all the girls.” 

The banging on the door became louder and more forceful. The desks and chairs were giving way. The red energy shined brightly, overtaking the room. Monika became unnerved by it, but she pressed on. “Just one more and...there! Ako, I got into the command panel!” 

Her tone of triumph fell flat from the lack of a response. “Ako?” Monika said “Ako?” 

She turned to look at the door and nearly panicked. Ako was gone; evaporated. The door was now hanging on its single hinge alongside the charred chairs and desks. But worse of all, she was now alone in the club room with Ako’s killer. 

“I-it’s you,” Monika remarked. She shielded her laptop despite being petrified. 

“After I have destroyed all of the other alternate realities, you of all people should’ve known that I would come for this reality next.” 

Monika narrowed her eyes in disgust. “There is one universe that I know you haven’t destroyed.” 

The attacker laughed. “Dimension C-2293? The one where you live a happy little life as if none of your sins ever happened?” 

Monika bowed her head in shame. “That dimension’s Monika has a copy of the laptop I use. I already sent it to her. You’ll never win because of teamwork.”

She looked at the clock on the wall, but reading it was difficult due to the walls twisting and turning and fading away. “99% of the game is deleted.” 

The attacker smiled. “Everything you have ever done dies with you. I don’t care if you sent a version of yourself the message because you no longer exist.” 

In a flash, the attacker was gone leaving Monika with the world crumbling around her. She collapsed on the ground writhing in agony. Looking down at her hands, she could see that the flesh on them was being eroded away. Before long, she would be completely deleted. More open wounds erupted throughout her body and unravels from the data being eradicated. With her gaze faltering, Monika felt her only solace would be that she’d be with her dimension’s Sayori. 

“I just hope she gets the message ASAP.” 

                                [CHAPTER TWO]

Monika and Sayori sat in their shared home one day watching television. For whatever reason, Monika had a worried look on her face. Sayori noticed her few passing glances and was slowly becoming alarmed as well. "Dear, what's wrong? You're acting weird."

Monika blinked suddenly and then a few times. "Oh, sorry; I just received some…interesting e-mail."

Sayori's eyes widened. "Really? From whom?"

Monika shrugged her shoulders. "The coordinates were all over the chart." She stretched out her arms to further emphasize her point. "I feel it has something to do with the game's code again. Maybe I'll ask Anthy on it later."

Sayori snapped her fingers suddenly. "Oh, shoot; I almost forgot. I think our Ako has a crush!"

Monika tensed up for a bit. Even if it's been about two years, Monika still felt slightly incensed to the notion that Ako would try to go after her Sayori again. Even though they had both buried the hatchet back during the beach episode arc. Sayori took notice if this and tapped her on the shoulder. "No, not me this time."

Monika's limbs loosened in relief. "Sorry. I still need to work on that. Anyway, who is it?"

"Anthy." Sayori replied.

A moment of silence filled the room. It was so quiet, that a pin could drop any minute and not invoke much of a reaction from the two girls. Monika opened her mouth a few times still unsure on what to say. Anthy? That girl who literally tried to kill all of them and was the one who bit her arm off? Really? Monika picked up her glass to take a few sips from it, but it noticeably wobbled in her hand.

"Anthy? Why?" Monika asked.

"It all started when Anthy started to appear more to check on how the game was running. As you know, Anthy kind of made some alterations to the game by making herself a home here. Well, she started hanging out with Ako at the library where she'd watch her draw two flowers and a cat. Anthy started bringing her different objects to draw. One thing led to another…and then they both kissed."

Monika spit her drink out, startling Sayori. "Monika, what the hell?"

"Sorry, sorry. It's just…coming off as a surprise to hear all that."

Sayori nodded her head. "That explained why they kind of…freaked out when they were close to each other at the club room a day before."

Monika was still unsure of what to think. Sure, she is content with the fact that Ako found herself someone to potentially love. But Anthy…to be frank, was a little creepy. What with her permanent smile and shark teeth, could you really blame her? Anthy couldn't much help that because she mentioned constantly that it was her default expression. Even when she wasn't doing anything…deadly, she was still intimidating. But at the same time, she shouldn't dissuade Ako from pursuing her heart, even if it ends in heartbreak.

"I take it that she texted you about it?"

Sayori nodded her head again. "Yeah; she did. She said that she wasn't sure about what to do."

"Are you suggesting we arrange for the two to confess to each other?" Monika asked.

"Of course; she's going to come by later to confide in me. You could maybe confront Anthy and give her advice."

Monika raised her finger to say something additionally. Sayori laughed at this. "She won't bite; I promise."

A large distance across from where they lived, a girl with short blonde hair and blue eyes was walking. She attended the same school as the four girls and walked home from school every day at a certain time. It was not long since school had let out for the day. She walked down a small path soaking in her surroundings. She was thinking of what to have for dinner at home when a surge of power generated through the air. She looked up in alarm.

Above her, a rip formed in the sky and gave way to a large, gaping hole. The girl stood glued to the ground with shock and awe. Fragments of the sky fell onto the ground revealing heavy static behind it. "What in the?" she asked herself.

From that rip came a rosy-colored flame ball. It launched itself in a downward spiral bombarding towards the girl. Seeing this suddenly brought the girl back to her senses and she ran right to dodge it. The flame ball smashed into the ground, leveling it. Smoke filled the site of the impact. Out of curiosity, the girl pondered what had fallen to Earth and stood by to observe. The smoke eventually settled enough for the girl to realize that it formed a considerably large crater.

"What?"

She ran towards the crater her curiosity being overbearing as it was. Panting from running, she investigated the crater to a surprise. In the hole, there was a girl, roughly around her age. More bizarrely, she was bereft of clothing and laying on her belly with her bare cheeks at full display. The blonde-haired girl blushed at this slightly most likely from embarrassment at seeing the girl in such a position. But she was horrified all the same assuming the girl for dead.

"Oh no, oh no, oh no…" she said. She scrambled through her belongings to find her cell phone so she could contact the medics of the dilemma. After dialing up the number, she momentarily looked away to listen to the ringtone. She looked back to catch another glimpse of the girl for a description but saw that she was gone.

"Ma'am? Ma'am?" the receptor asked.

The blonde girl held the phone shakily in her hand before dropping it seemingly not hearing the person on the other end. In front of her, the naked girl levitated before her. She couldn't speak. Nothing about what she was seeing made any sense. Before she could say anything, the naked girl grabbed her by her throat and glared at her. Upon looking closer at the girl before her, she saw that she shared the same color of her eyes. As she was desperately trying to comprehend what was going on, the nude girl's eyes turned crimson.

A few minutes later, the once nude girl had clothes. After finishing up on her necktie, she walked up the path. "I'll be coming for you soon. Don't get too cozy."

Ako arrived at Monika and Sayori's house roughly at six. She approached the door fretfully and almost found herself walking away several times unsure of whether she should go through with it or not. She extended her right hand to knock on the door, but her knocks were barely an octave. She waited around, but she did not hear the girls. "I knew this was a bad idea."

Ako turned to walk away, but the door slowly opened to a creek. "Ako?"

"Oh, uh, hey…Sayori," Ako said.

Monika had prepared some tea for the occasion and offered some to Ako. Ako thanked her for it and took a long, noisy sip from it. Afterward, the room went silent again. Monika and Sayori stood by waiting for someone to start the conversation. Eyes darted throughout the room to see a single instance of lips parting to form a vowel sound. When nothing came about, Sayori cleared her throat. "So, Ako, how…"

"I kissed her, Sayori," Ako finally responded.

"Oh," Sayori said plainly,

"I don't know what happened. We were both sitting down at a table. Anthy had gone to one of those online game websites and brought me back a teddy bear for me to draw." Ako stopped herself so she could drink more of the tea before starting again. "Before I knew it, Anthy was sitting close to me; so close, I could feel her body rub up to mine. That same sensation I felt for you came back. Stronger even. My gut was making…butterflies is the term, I think? My heart was beating fast in my chest…I was scared that it would burst out of my chest if I wasn't too careful. But I felt Anthy's heart also skipping a beat."

Sayori and Monika listened carefully not saying anything. Anthy's cheeks began to turn green and she was becoming queasy. "Sayori, she's having an attack, what are we going to do?"

Sayori slipped out a paper bag, walked across the room, and placed it in Ako's hands. After breathing sporadically into the bag, her breathing eased. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it," Sayori said, "can you speak now?"

"I was drawing the teddy bear like I mentioned…but when Anthy got even closer to me, my hand nudged up with hers, and…our eyes met each other. As if unprecedented, we suddenly kissed."

"And after that, Anthy opened up a portal to run away?" Sayori asked.

Ako bowed her head. "Should I have kissed her?"

Monika spoke up next. "Did she like the kiss?"

"Monika!" Sayori shouted in surprise. "That's too much to ask."

Ako shrugged. "I couldn't tell. She didn't turn her head in disgust over it, but she also didn't express that she enjoyed it."

"Well, maybe we can help you come to terms with it," Monika said.

"How?" Ako asked.

"Getting you both to state your feelings to each other."

Ako raised an eyebrow. "How?"

"Well, a poem worked for both Natsuki and Yuri," Monika explained, "maybe that could help."

Ako raised her palm. "I gotta stop you right there, friend."

"Why?"

"Writing poems are not my thing." Ako stated. "It sounds kind of dumb."

Monika's right eye twitched. She felt her inner rage reaching her boiling point. "What the f-!"

Sayori covered her lover's mouth. "Maybe a drawing you can both do?"

Ako scratched her chin in deep thought. "That could work."

Ako stood up from her seat. "But the only issue remaining is that she caused us so much pain and almost killed us and nearly deleted the game. How can I just forget that?"

Sayori smiled. "To be fair, you can never really forget something like that. It makes you more unsure that you could trust someone like that again because you run a risk of going through that pain again. But when the person is putting in the effort of being better, you have to have some faith in them."

Ako nodded in agreement. "Is that like when you forgave Monika for the things she did in your game?"

"Yes. I mean Monika tried to have my neck snapped when I had a noose around my neck, but it's all good now, right, Monika?"

Monika laughed nervously at Sayori's comment. "Yeah…I did, didn't I?"

Ako also joined in on the laughter. Sayori and Ako were laughing wildly as if it were some type of joke. But Monika remained quiet, clearly not wanting to be reminded of what happened in the past.

                [CHAPTER THREE]

"This…doesn't make any sense," Anthy said to herself. She went behind the background of the game's world to view the coding. There was some recent addition to the game, but for some reason, the addition was invisible to her. As an antivirus program, Anthy would be aware of it. If data were being burned in exhaust, Anthy would be sure to quash that. And yet, here she was trying to find out what happened. She was so absorbed in her work; she almost did not hear her doorbell ring.

"What? Huh?"

"Anthy, it's me," a voice responded.

Anthy sighed in relief. "Oh, it's just you, Monika; come on in."

Monika opened the front door and entered the house. Her eyes widened in surprise. Anthy's house…was not that great to look at. The wallpaper was in stitched patches of light green stripes. Like a Christmas tree. All the furniture were merely photos she had made copies on by visiting various websites on the internet like Clip Art and Photoshop. Most striking, however, was that when the wallpaper began to decay and peel, it revealed the static background of the game's setting.

"Oh, hey," Anthy said in a half-laugh, "this is my humble abode." She stretched her arms out to further emphasize it. Monika soaked it in for a few moments but forced a smile.

"Oh, it's nice," she said.

Anthy lowered her head to indicate that she sensed that she was lying. "Yeah, yeah, I know. It isn't the best thing ever, but at least it's cozy." Anthy laughed in embarrassment.

"Well, what were you doing exactly?" Monika asked.

"Oh, the game apparently had some addition to it, but for whatever reason, I can't find it."

Monika scratched her chin. "That is odd; I received some coordinates on my laptop; it felt like it came from somewhere outside of the game."

Anthy sat on a green chair she copied and pasted from Clip Art. "What brings you to my home anyway?" Anthy squinted her eyes in suspicion. "You didn't add something to the game, right, Monika?"

Monika denied it by shaking her head. "No. It's actually about Sayori."

Anthy looked up. "She isn't still distraught over finding out the truth about the Player?"

Monika frowned. "It wasn't your fault, Anthy, you know that."

Anthy nodded. "Yeah, but when the game glitched out that one time and you all were thrown out of your game and met the Player, I felt it was my fault for it."

Monika pat Anthy's shoulder. "Even though the Player outright admitted to us that he viewed us as nothing more than pixels, the love that we had for each other was real. It was the only thing that mattered."

"True; well, what was on Sayori's mind?" Anthy asked. She ripped a small hole in thin air and pulled out a mug. In the mug was some coffee. She then opened her mouth and pitched the mug into it. Monika shivered a bit. Anthy always had the oddest way of eating food. If she even needed to eat at all.

"She spoke with Ako today about what happened between you and Ako."

Anthy suddenly spit the hot coffee out of her mouth. "What!?"

Monika waved her hands. "It's fine, it's fine."

Anthy's face reddened spontaneously. She bowed her head again and shielded it with her gloved hands. She let out a slight whimper almost as though she were a little puppy. "Oh, why did you have to bring it up? It was so…humiliating!"

Monika blinked a few times whilst thinking of what to do next. "Did Ako think it was?"

Anthy looked back up again. "I got out of dodge before I even asked her about it."

Monika nodded understandably. "Ah. I understand. You know, Sayori and I didn't immediately hook up, you know."

Anthy listened tentatively. "Yeah, I can see that. But what can I do about my dilemma?"

"Oh, when Ako came over to speak about what happened, she also had the same feelings about the kiss as well."

Anthy's eyes widened in surprise. "Really?"

Monika smiled. "Yes; she almost through up from it."

Anthy squinted her eyes to indicate a frown which was obviously hard due to her perpetual grin. "So, she did hate it?"

"I wouldn't say that" Monika replied. "It goes to show that she is just as unsure about her feelings like you are."

Anthy nervously tapped her two index fingers. "I…I think I love her."

Monika smiled warmly. "Well, I m glad to hear you coming to that realization of yourself."

"I don't know what it is," Anthy replied, "but anytime I'm around Ako, I feel…warm. Calm even."

"And what are you going to do about it?" Monika asked.

"Jump into a farming simulation and maybe disconnect with modern society?" Anthy answered.

"No. If you are unsure of what to do, Sayori and I came up with a solution."

"Tell me, please," Anthy begged.

Sayori was at home watching anime when she received a notification. She reached for her cell phone and saw that it was a text message from Monika:

"Anthy agreed to do the drawing with Ako."

Sayori smiled. She quickly replied and laced it neatly with a heart emoji. She played around with Monika in a teasing fashion until Anthy typed up a response amounting to STFU. Sayori rolled her eyes. That was one of the things she liked about her bizarre, shark-toothed friend.

Sayori continued to watch her show for a good hour. As it reached its finale, she received another buzz. "What now?" she asked.

She flipped through her messages again. This time, she saw that it was a number she did not recognize. She opened it up and read it. While the number was one, she did not know, it stated that it was from Natsuki. Sayori raised an eyebrow. She read it over a couple times to make sure she was interpreting what she was reading.

"I'm at the mall; I'm going to buy an anniversary gift for Yuri, and I need your advice."

Sayori was more complex. "Is that you, Yuri? What happened to your number?"

After typing that out, she got a response. "My phone broke, so I had to get a replacement."

Sayori rubbed her head. "Well, that makes sense."

Not taking how odd the text messages were, Sayori agreed to Natsuki's request and they both set up where they would be meeting at. Sayori followed the coordinates without further questions. Even though the site that they agreed upon was further away from the mall. Sayori thought to text Natsuki a few more times inquiring whether she had forgotten where they would meet up at. Natsuki sparingly gave responses at random until she arrived at a back alley. Sayori became unsettled by this.

"Natsuki, are you there?"

Her deep, innermost thoughts told her, nay screamed at her to not go into the alley, but her mind immediately drifted towards Natsuki. What if something was horribly wrong with her? Without much infliction, she rushed into the alley way. "Natsuki! Natsuki!?"

Her voice echoed throughout the seeming empty void. But there was no response. Sayori held her phone out and typed up another text for Natsuki. "Where are you, Natsuki? This isn't funny."

She waited around still fearful of her surroundings. She felt as if she was being watched by some unseen spectacle. It felt like an eternity of her waiting for an answer. The hair on the back of her hand stood on end. Her neck was out in the open, and now something or someone was caressing it. Sweat was raining down from her pores. But from that bout of anxiety, Natsuki's text came back startling her.

"Behind you."

Sayori turned around and saw a dark figure. It grabbed her before Sayori could even scream. Sayori struggled against her assailant with all her strength. The attacker grabbed onto Sayori's wrists with a tight grip. "Grrr…get off!"

The assailant twisted Sayori's right wrist propelling Sayori to fall on the ground. That proved to be Sayori's undoing. In a flash, the attacker held something in their hand and slammed it on Sayori's face. Sayori mumbled and squirmed vibrantly with her head pushed harder into the object. Eventually, Sayori's struggling weakened, and she fell unconscious. The assailant sighed heavily out of irritation at Sayori's resistance and went to collect her.

                      [CHAPTER FOUR]

"Mmm…. where am I?"

Sayori's eyes fluttered open to soak in her surroundings. She was in a dark room somewhere in an unknown place. Her mind pained her apparently resulting from her attacker wrestled that odd-smelling substance on her face causing her to black out. Sayori reached to soothe her aching head, but there were restraints around her wrists preventing her from moving her arms.

"What are these?"

She tried to feel for the rest of her body only to receive the same response. Her waist and legs were also seemingly locked in place. Sayori's eyes widened at the realization. She was trapped unable to maneuver her limbs. Before she could fully comprehend what has become of her, the room was suddenly washed over in light and assaulted her eyes. Squinting her eyes, Sayori beheld some figure standing in the doorway.

"So, you're finally awake, huh?"

That voice. Something about that voice was familiar. Sayori looked down seeing that she was tied to a chair. That made some considerable sense. But that was not her main concern. With her vision steadied, she further investigated the source of the voice. Her eyes widened in shock.

It was her. Or rather some entity that has her visage. She wore a school uniform like her own. Her hair was rosy-red with her signature bow on it. The other girl shared the blue color of her eyes, but in her case, they were paler and seeming lifeless. A dark aura radiated from her. Sayori could not believe what she was seeing. She blinked her eyes a few more time under the belief that she was having a daydream. But it dawned on her that she was very wide awake.

"W-who are you?" Sayori asked finally.

The girl lightly chuckled. "I'm you, idiot."

"B-but how?" Sayori stammered. "Were you left over when Monika rebooted the game?"

The girl turned aside and slipped out a phone. Sayori looked intently at it seeing that it was her own phone. The girl had stolen it when she was out cold. She lightly tapped the screen of the phone. She browsed through the pictures on her gallery. She raised an eyebrow, perplexed. There were several photos of Sayori with Monika. "How long has this…thing been going on?" The girl placed heavy emphasis on "thing."

"For about two years now," Sayori replied.

"Are you suggesting that after all of the pain that she had put us through, you're now in love with her?" she spit. Just thinking about Monika's name was enough to make her bitter.

Sayori frowned up in defense of her girlfriend. "What Monika had done was bad, but she worked hard to change. I gave her a chance, so why can't you?"

"You fail to realize how long it's been?" she asked.

"To me, it felt more like one time," Sayori said innocently.

The girl scoffed. "One time. Try about 1,000 times!"

Sayori tried to free herself from her binds to no avail. The ropes ripped further into Sayori's skin and were covered in her blood. They were leaving marks on her arms and legs. "Let me go!"

"For thousands of times, nearly every day, she corrupted my mind…made me do things that led to my death. Rinse and repeat. Every single day, the same routine. What I am is an amalgamation of all the Sayoris that have been dealt a bad hand. Through the different worlds, fragments of my being broke through realities out of one singular emotion. That being a pure, unending hatred."

She reached into her pocket again and slipped out an elongated chain. Sayori did not know what to think about it at first, but then it hit her what they belonged to. They were chains comprised of different codes. "That's not what I think they are, are they?" Sayori asked.

The girl nodded. "Yes, these are just some of the prizes I have acquired from exploring other games."

She laid the chain of codes on the ground to let it roll out. It started wat the girl's feet then inched its way towards the chair Sayori was strapped into. The chains were roughly around 30 ft long. "Each strand of codes was what I had collected when I deleted other versions of your game," she explained. "I always made sure to collect one to reminiscence on them."

"Why are you here now?" Sayori asked aloud.

"I assumed that I had deleted every dimension where Monika and that Literature Club were situated at. In each world, I made Monika suffer the same way we had suffered before ending her life by bringing devastation to her precious Literature Club. I like to believe that when my game was no more, the command powers that she had were unwittingly transferred to me. Whether it was fate or whatever, I do not see any reason to care. All I know is that I have gotten my chance on destroying Monika and erasing her from existence."

The girl dismissively rammed Sayori's phone back in her pocket and went to walk out of the door. Sayori started to panic. "Wait, wait, you can't leave me here! Let me go!"

The girl stopped at the door and smirked. "I'm sorry, I can't do that. I will play a game with your girlfriend first before tearing the world apart inside out. Now do me the pleasure and starve to death. Will ya?"

With that, Sayori's doppelganger slammed the door shut leaving Sayori to her own devices. Worse, she did not have her phone to notify Monika or her friends about her being locked away somewhere. The ropes cut deeper into her skin. The pain was excruciating, but Sayori had to do something. Fast.

Monika, Yuri, and Natsuki assembled at Monika's house with some pieces of paper. Yuri looked at the clock on the wall with concern. "Do you think they'll show up?"

Monika smiled slightly. "Don't worry, Yuri, I'm sure they hadn't booked us."

Natsuki looked at her wristwatch. "Speaking of booking us…where's Sayori?"

"Now that you mention it," Yuri began, "I thought she'd be the first one here since she's Ako's friend."

"She texted me about going to speak with Natsuki about giving her advice on what to get Yuri for their anniversary."

Yuri's cheeks blushed a deep red forcing her to shield her face in her hands. Natsuki was also blushing deeply. "You ruined the surprise, Monika!"

"Oh, sorry," Monika replied laughing nervously.

Natsuki crossed her arms and pouted. "Besides, I never told Sayori about my plan."

Monika raised an eyebrow. "Wait, if Sayori didn't text me that then who…"

There came a knock on the door startling them. "That must be them now," Yuri rationalized. Monika went to the door and opened it revealing that it was Ako on the other side. But her cheeks were a greenish hue again. "H-hey, guys," she said.

The three friends stared at each other at a loss for what to say. "Take a seat over there, Ako," Monika directed.

Ako did as she was told and sat in the seat Monika directed her to. Ako breathed in slowly and exhaled in a whistle. She did this a few more times before she felt her stress was away. Ako was then given paper and a pencil. "Draw whatever's in your heart," Yuri advised.

They waited around a little longer for at least Anthy to arrive next. But as the hours slowly went by, it seemed that Anthy kept to her word of leaving the game for some other one rather than confront Ako in her current state of mind. Ako had already begun drawing but with each scribble she did, she balled the paper up and tossed it into the garbage. With each one, Ako began to sink into depression. "She's not coming, isn't she?" Ako sighed. "I don't blame her."

Monika tapped her shoulder. "Please do not think that way, Ako. Maybe she just needed more time."

Ako looked up with tears in her eyes. "This hurts more then when I accidentally fell in love with Sayori."

Monika looked at Ako in pity. "You should not beat yourself up like that."

"It's true! You have Sayori; and Yuri has Natsuki. I have no one that I love."

Monika and the other girls ceased talking afraid that whatever they said next would further muddle the situation. While thinking, a rip manifested in thin air by Monika's couch. Inside of the rip revealed the static background representing the game's reality. A gloved hand reached out from the rip to pull itself out. On the end of the gloved hand was Anthy.

"Anthy, you made it!" Monika exclaimed.

"I did get cold feet and I did consider leaving," Anthy explained sadly, "but then I realized I would be hurting Ako by doing so."

Natsuki gave Anthy a piece of paper and she also sat in a seat by Ako. Ako looked up momentarily and blushed in embarrassment. Seeing the shark-toothed girl again at this proximity made her heart skip a beat again. "You-you came?"

Anthy's smile widened. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

The two began to draw. Anthy was a lot of things, but an artist was not her forte. Ako herself often drew two flowers and a cat. That was her main purpose as an NPC. But being so close to Anthy now filled her with different emotions. The two went wild with their drawings. They finished in about 20 minutes.

"Alright, present what you've drawn," Monika announced.

Ako timidly shook the paper in her hands. "Are you sure?"

Monika nodded in approval. "I am positive."

Ako took a deep breath and placed the paper on the table. It was a crudely drawn version of herself standing with a hand missing on the right side of the paper. Monika rolled an eyebrow at this. "Strange."

Anthy was next. The thought of ripping a hole into reality to leave crossed her mind, but she too took a deep breath and placed her paper on the table. Ako's face turned red. Anthy twiddled her thumbs her cheeks slowly turning red as well. For what was on the page was Anthy to the left of the paper extending her nonexistent hand like with Ako's self-portrait. When the two drawings were place together, it gave off the expression they were holding each other's hand.

"Does, does that mean," Ako stammered. Inspired by the self-portrait, she grabbed Anthy's hand, and Anthy reciprocated it.

"Oh, you're my perfect little ink blot girlfriend!" Anthy proclaimed.

"And I love your smile, my..my love!"

The two continued to say sugary nothings to each other. While Yuri and Natsuki were delighted by the turn of events, Monika was preoccupied with her phone and sending a frenzy of texts to Sayori.

"Sayori, I don't know where you are, but please pick up!"

(More to come)

[wings-of-a-storm]

I am so behind in my scene discussions, but Friday night’s clip (aka. the start of Lucas’ hell week) literally packed a punch, so I’m jumping straight to this one first! For full impact though, I need to go back a step and set the scene.

On Thursday, Lucas said some pretty stupid, ignorant things to Mika about what it means to be gay, and Mika completely lashed out at him. Anyone feeling as stung and guilty as Lucas would want to seek out someone to comfort them and make them feel like less of a terrible person. The first person Lucas goes to is Eliott. I love that so much, I could weep. (It’s telling on another level though, because it suggests Lucas came out to Mika in part for Eliott, in case Eliott’s problem was Lucas being so in the closet…)

But Eliott crushes Lucas in his time of need with what was essentially a break up text. Now Lucas needs even more comfort. He has no choice but to finally reach out to his friends even though he had been avoiding them for so long…

Cue the start of Lucas’ Friday night hell.

(THIS IS PART 1 OF 2 BECAUSE THERE WAS JUST TOO MUCH HAPPENING IN FRIDAY’S CLIP TO ANALYSE!)

LUCAS ALONE IN A ROOM OF FRIENDS

Lucas arranged to have his friends come over that Friday night because he really needed company and comfort. The problem is, he hasn’t felt completely connected to them for a while and he feels he can’t tell them anything about the stress he has been under. It means there is only so much his friends can do for him in that moment. So even though Lucas was the one who called them to come over, he isn’t present with them in that room. His grief is too great and he can’t share it.

How powerful is the use of silence in this scene! Where we go from the rowdy atmosphere of competitive gaming to the utter white noise of Lucas’ reality. He needs his friends there for comfort, to not feel so alone, but he is so far away from them. His world is nothing but silence and that dull elongated drone; there’s no more piano music in his heart. Even when Lucas has been sad before, we’ve had piano music! But this sadness has gone beyond that into numbness and depression.

I don’t think we have ever seen Lucas look more small and vulnerable than that shot we get of him on that couch, where he is literally separate from the others and wrapped up in his hoodie for comfort. I mean, the way he is sort of slumped into himself on the couch with his hoodie covering his ears like a warm blanket... The vulnerability is off the charts; it’s so goddamn painful.

And then when you get a look at his phone screen (which he has clearly been staring at on and off the whole night!), you realise his relationship with Eliott has been so perfectly summed up on one screen: the warmth of an eager, smiley Eliott going to all sorts of lengths to spend time with Lucas -- and then a sudden barricade of silence and rejection. It is like staring at what once was and what could have been. Lucas must have read those words hundreds of times to try and figure out what went wrong and how he lost Eliott. Tonight with his friends, all he can do is continue to wonder…

ONE DEPRESSED BOY

The depressive funk Lucas has fallen into really shows in his slow amble to the fridge. He just seems so lifeless, like it’s so much effort just to cross the room. You can even hear in his voice how much effort it is to even speak. How painful was it to hear the way Lucas told Yann there was “No problem” with a voice so barely there! He can’t even lie properly anymore; his soul is just so sad and exhausted.

It reminded me straight away of Martino’s non-existent voice when he told his father he was ‘fine’ after breaking up with Nico. We’ve all been there when we’re trying so hard to repress that emotion to survive the conversation and not break down. It’s hard for the viewer to witness, and it would have been so hard for Yann to see as well.

It was so wonderful how Yann engineered the whole beer errand to get Lucas alone and finally broach the topic that something was really wrong. Yann had tried giving Lucas his space earlier, but it had clearly gotten too far now and he had to act. It is commendable that even when Lucas wasn’t ready to open up to him still, Yann swallowed his frustration and committed to at least giving Lucas the one thing Lucas asked for: to just have fun with the boys.

Unfortunately Arthur and Basile interrupted them when they probably could have used a bit more time together in their world of unspoken understanding… And to make matters even worse, the interruption was to guilt Lucas into going to Chloe’s party.

The way Lucas closed his eyes, sucked his lip in and then rubbed his face when Arthur and Basile were yabbering on! You could feel how at his limit he now was; how he didn’t have the strength to handle any of it anymore.

Yann is fully switched on though; he knows Arthur and Basile are in another dimension right now and haven’t noticed how this whole Chloe thing is a huge wound for Lucas. I loved all the concerned and wary looks Yann gave Lucas while the other boys were talking.

I can’t lie though, I feel a little frustrated that Yann wasn’t completely getting what Lucas needed even though he was the most supportive one there. It seemed pretty obvious that Lucas wasn’t in the right state to go out and socialise, much less be at the party of someone who was clearly part of Lucas’ problem. I know Yann can only do so much but I can’t help but feel like he failed Lucas there by allowing the boys to guilt trip him into going out. I wish he had made sure Lucas was actually up for it no matter how eager Arthur and Basile were.

Like, sure it would be nice for Yann to see Lucas trying to make things up to Arthur and Basile, but at what cost for Lucas, you know? Maybe Yann thought a party would help distract Lucas, and maybe he thought that if Lucas’ problems had something to do with Chloe then maybe he could work on it at the party… But it just didn’t feel good enough…

My feelings of helplessness for Lucas’ state only grew when they were walking to the party and Lucas’ depressive bubble was still so painfully evident in the way he was dragging his feet along in a resigned amble. You can see how hard Lucas is trying though -- how he tried to reciprocate Basile’s affectionate side hug. I hope that even though Lucas was feeling like absolute shit and it was taking all of his energy just to walk anywhere, it gave him a small piece of happiness to know he was at least making Basile’s night…

BASILE, THE DRUNK CHICK WHISPERER (STOP!)

Oh Basile. Where do we even begin with him. I really can’t stand his behaviour with women, even if he was kind to Daphne when she was dangerously intoxicated. I also dislike how he screamed at Lucas once just because he couldn’t go to one party. He is very emotionally immature compared to every other character. Yet…despite all of that, I can’t help but appreciate that he has a kind soul beneath it all.

That being said, I cannot state enough how much I dislike that the writers are making Daphne fall for Basile gradually. I think he needs more time to grow first, and I think Daphne needs to have more faith in what she is worth and not settle for the one guy giving her attention. Right now they just don’t feel compatible. In time, I don’t know, but right now definitely not. Their maturity is on different planes...

Can you believe Daphne actually seemed jealous that Basile was nice to other drunk girls? And can you believe that Maria seemed excited to recognise Basile as the guy who held her hair as she puked in episode one? She was definitely not happy at the time, as I recall. What changed, exactly?

It made me uncomfortable that Basile seemed to be rewarded in this episode from girls when he hasn’t earned it. Like yes looking after someone who is intoxicated is a kind act but in Maria’s case he abused that by touching her back and person and then trailing after her for more. That isn’t kind, that is lecherous. And we weren’t privy to what he was like after he lead Daphne away, so how are we to know he didn’t take small advantages there either?

So please, Skam France, can you please stop this Daphne and Basile thing? No one but Basile wants it.

ENTERING THE ELU HELL ZONE: LUCAS FIRST SEES ELIOTT

We are now entering the Elu hell zone, guys. Buckle up.

In the past I have always enjoyed Nico’s and Eliott’s ‘parting the red seas’ scenes. But they have both officially been upstaged by Lucas because OH MY GOD WAS THAT ENTRY INTO THE PARTY AMAZING OR WHAT?!

When Lucas caught sight of Eliott across the room and his eyes just locked onto him and his body propelled him forward and he literally smashed through the crowd to reach him, I actually gasped and had to pause the clip because it was so savage!

He was like a human torpedo. I mean, he collided so hard with someone at one point that he had to adjust his balance to stay on his feet! Nothing was stopping him from getting to Eliott. I truly wonder if he even felt any of those collisions though -- all of his senses seemed to be narrowed onto one person: Eliott Demaury.

Let’s be real though, the real song that should have been used here is:

(Do yourselves a favour and watch the scene with this song over the top of it. It’s an experience! it works for Lucas’ exit too, obviously. ;)

What was so super angsty about this scene was that brick walls couldn’t have stopped Lucas from reaching Eliott, but seeing Lucille with him could. Realising that Lucille was there, that that was who Eliott had been smiling at… It just crushed Lucas and stopped him right in his tracks.

The camerawork here was phenomenal -- how the camera pans out from Lucas to emphasise his shock. And then Lucas’ view of Eliott goes blurry as if Lucas is in so much shock, his ability to see is failing:

I mean, the last thing Lucas was expecting was to see Lucille with Eliott at that party -- even despite the ‘I need space’ text. And boy did you feel that shock with him. The frantic EDM playing at the party really didn’t help…

(Side note: It looked like Eliott had a cigarette or joint hanging from his mouth as he was putting his jacket on. If it was a joint, Lucille must have been really out of sorts if he was comfortable enough to have it ready for use in front of her. I feel like something even as small as that says a lot about their relationship right now: that Lucille seems to have backed down with that stuff after their awful double date fight. Unless that was just a cigarette and I’m talking nonsense.)

ELIOTT’S CHOICE OF OUTFIT

I mentioned this in an earlier post but I find Eliott’s clothing choice pretty interesting here.

Clothing is a pretty useful tool for any filmmaker because clothes act as visual representation of our selves and our moods.

For Eliott, he stans one jacket and one jacket only. We basically always see him in that camel bomber jacket. Maybe he feels safest in it; maybe because it is so large, he feels like he is wrapped in armour. Whatever the reason, it is his go-to jacket. And the fact that we see Eliott wearing it in almost every scene he is in, primes us to heavily associate Eliott with it. That has meant that whenever we see a blurry brown shape in the background of a scene, we know Eliott is approaching before we even see his face. That jacket is Eliott.

The Polaris escapade was the first time we saw Eliott in any other jacket. (Sure, we had seen other jackets hanging up on his coat rack the day Lucas came over to listen to dubstep, but since Eliott never wears them, they may as well have been an art exhibit.)

I’m not sure why Eliott chose to wear a different jacket with Lucas that night but perhaps since he knew he wanted to take Lucas to the tunnel, he wanted to be as stealthy as possible in that slimming dark number. The better to scare him with and all that. I dunno. (We, er, won’t go into the mysteriously changed pants.) But since Eliott wasn’t wearing his usual giant bomber jacket that night, he did feel a little different, a little more exposed and open.

The jacket he was wearing at Chloe’s party though? So very unfamiliar. For starters, it was a black leather jacket (or at least it looked like one). He gave off such a ‘cool’ or 'bad boy’ vibe with it (that is how we are primed in general to think of that type of jacket right?). It made him feel so...other. So unfamiliar. So out of reach…

I think that clothing choice was so effective because Eliott is supposed to feel like a different person, doing things we just cannot comprehend. We are supposed to feel disconnected from him; we are supposed to doubt with Lucas that we ever really properly knew him. We are supposed to feel like he is hiding another ‘side’ of him. And it may seem small, but a change in outfit to a jacket so ‘cool’ and completely unfamiliar goes a long way to jarring us and setting that mood up.

CHLOE CONFRONTING LUCAS

While Lucas is frozen in place before Eliott and Lucille, he doesn’t even have time to process his heartbreak before the one person who could make this whole situation worse manages to bump into him.

Oh Chloe. The last we heard from Chloe, Lucas had essentially disregarded her anguish with a “…” text. It did not end well between them and a confrontation was inevitable. Chloe was owed that much. (I mean seriously, Lucas, “…”?)

I wasn’t prepared for how distraught she was going to sound when she confronted him though. I wasn’t prepared for the way her voice was going to break or that she would end up screaming at him. The pain in her voice really hit me and I felt so sorry for whatever private hell she has been going through because of Lucas’ treatment. Like many people, she is the first version of the Emma character that I actually felt for as much as I did for Lucas in that moment. I believed in her anguish and I wanted to hug her. I mean, the guy who had absolutely broken her heart and played with her over and over again had suddenly invaded her safe space -- her own private home -- and she was in shock to see him there.

That being said, of course it was absolutely not okay that she outed him; that she threw his biggest vulnerability into his face and inadvertently into the crowd. She was pretty ignorant as to how terrifying being in the closet is or how someone else’s sexuality isn’t up for your public interpretation. She has no idea how much she has inadvertently opened Lucas up to a lot of physical and emotional danger now.

And it was really hard watching Lucas’ face when Chloe was screaming at him. He was absolutely devastated to hear his name associated with the word ‘gay’ in such a confronting way. He wasn’t ready for it, and he has good reason for that.

And um…. Yep, people heard Lucas’ outing. There were definitely some looks exchanged and they didn’t appear too friendly either (whether that was because of his sexuality or because of the way he had obviously mistreated Chloe, it’s hard to know. To be honest, it felt like more the latter from the women).

Lucas’ life is clearly about to change and we just stepped over that precipice...

END OF PART ONE

[captainkurosolaire]

LF Contacts : Captain Kuro Solaire

NAME: Captain Kuro Solaire AGE: 35 (Appears 29) - (’Temporarily Immortal’ Limited on deaths before next story-arc, or, life is dependent on another to pass.)

RACE: Seeker of the Sun, Miqo’te

GENDER: Male

SEXUALITY: Straight, Dom

MARITAL STATUS: Married/Poly/Open Relationship

SERVER: Balmung

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE ––––

HAIR: A slick jet black texture, Kuro’s hair is majority of the time unkempt with downward spikes often cascading across the sides of his face and more light spikes here and there, sometimes when grown-out it’s placed in a bandana and combed on the sides. Under rare occurrences the length of his hair can be lower then his shoulders and without being straightened leaving a shaggy and feral look. Often sporting an accompanied goatee, through more veteran experience and age has extended that further with a stubble to boot and long sideburns.

EYES: One eye is often left visible with an amber glow, while the other eye lays remained behind an eye-patch for a particular reason that is usually left in speculation to other onlookers.

HEIGHT: 6 fulms, 0 ilms.

BUILD: Built as a complete ultimate fighter. 

DISTINGUISHING MARKS: Scattered scars from a gash hidden underneath a leather collar from his first defeat and near end. To followed historical injuries to dragon claws swiped across his hip to rib nearing his chiseled abs, to lance wounds on his pec, bite-marks from a fanged creature nearly always adorned near his throat or shoulder-blade. Scratch marks from passion on his back. To matching fiendish talons shredding the opposing side of his rib-cage. With a gashed-cut draped across his right-eye. Lastly an X incision on his chest crossing over his upper-torso and halting near his shoulders to his pecs. This is all left to be seen as he’s often shirtless for all to see. Additionally, he’s got a tattoo on his forearm of runic engravings with summoner lettering’s that seem to be serving as a seal. Compass on his left-hand to prevent him losing memories of being a sailor that points in all four-directions. The south-seas etched above crossing over his bicep. Behind his back on left upper-most shoulder is the Goldbrand Crest. A forgotten ritual that has since been lost among the Crew as little carry it left but two-survivors him and another included.

COMMON ACCESSORIES: Talisman across his neck that has several link-pearls attached to a string with a feather which represents ‘freedom’,  the pearls mainly allow him to keep in-contact with crew-mates and a bundle of criminal orientated allies or other like-minded individuals he’s met in his travels with arrangements of companionship with many varying in uniqueness. A combat satchel attached to his belt that allow him quick accessibility to ‘Get out of dodge methods’ not to mention golden earrings the eye-patch of some sort always. With a very symbolic tricorne hat that is leather matching his often outfit of black leather and being ever mysterious and imposing a scoundrel aesthetic.

PERSONAL –––-

PROFESSION: Captain of the Goldbrand, navigation, commanding, claiming panties all over Eorzea and providing pleasure where others need the lesson or reminder. Along with a thief, smuggler, diplomat and a veteran sailor. He’s also a chaser of treasure from old relics to folktales passed on in Legends through very little evidence of the existences but scrolls & charts that he reads and plans out accordingly before attempting his plunder for fortune.

HOBBIES: Drinking, Ocarina, Women, Pleasure, More Pleasure, Even more Pleasure, Entertainment (Former Pleasure Dome worker as a Dancer and Escort.) Juggling, Acrobatics, Jury-rigging, Swimming, Teaching, Training, Mentor, Fighting, Fishing, Brawling, Working out. Exploring. Adventuring. Landing into Dangerous situations. 

LANGUAGES:  Fluent (Mostly) Eorzean, Xaelic, and Hingan, Pirate Tongue. (Working on venturing past his horizon to open trades and communications with beast-tribes for business escapades or other relationships.)

RESIDENCE: Ul’dah

FEARS: None. (Backstory behind that) Though not immune to psychological damage or other borderline issues in his mentality plus he’s got things that put him in discomfort as the following dictates. - Authority - Confinement - Rules - Fees - Harm to loved ones - Loneliness - Discrimination - Ribbons

RELATIONSHIPS –––-

SPOUSES: Ayla Moenwyb / Sivir Ka’vaul

CHILDREN: Bastard children all around, who knows you might be one. He’s often out there being ever the manwhore and shameless about the fact. So, just call him Daddy regardless.

PARENTS: Hoku Solaire (Father - Alive) Rokeia Solaire (Mother - Deceased giving birth to Kuro Solaire)

SIBLINGS: Unknown but Father was a former Nunh so would be reasonable to say there’s tons out there.

OTHER RELATIVES: Many unknown. Though Sol Akagane / Founding GB Captain Gark would be considered along with his OG Crew as Family in a more surrogate / adoption style way.

PETS: A list of women out there. ~ Oh, that kind of pet.... --- KY, Levi and Box.

TRAITS –––-

extroverted / introverted / in between

disorganized / organized / in between

close minded / open-minded / in between

calm / anxious / in between

disagreeable / agreeable / in between

cautious / reckless / in between

patient / impatient / in between

outspoken / reserved / in between

leader / follower / in between

empathetic / unemphatic / in between

optimistic / pessimistic / in between

traditional / modern / in between

hard-working / lazy / in between

cultured / un-cultured / in between

loyal / disloyal / in between

faithful / unfaithful / in between

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION –––-

SMOKING HABIT: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

DRUGS: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

ALCOHOL: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess

POSSIBLE HOOKS –––-

If your character keeps up to date with gossip or visits the ferry possibly heard of a pirate crew whispered about and a charismatic Captain that shows up from time-to-time stirs up trouble for the locals or swoons women in the residence.

Few Wanted warrants on him by this point but nothing overly grave but still enough to be sent to the gallows if captured with a lot of disturbances or complaints about public indecency potentially could even upset or have effected someone emotionally enough to slaughter instead of thinking twice about imprisoning.

If your character is also in the crime or shady organizations / dealings no doubt heard of inklings about him and often offers services to make smuggling deals across the Five Seas as this current-point or human trafficking. He’s also contributed in black-markets or to show up voluntary but his bravado can even potentially irk that who are the closest to him in nature.

If your character visits Ul’dah will often might see an encounter with him there and his ever showman and brazen self on display but he doesn’t have his payments ever overdue and has shown to be quite difficult to get out of the tavern by a legit reason outside of his exotic behavior mostly enforcing or provoking scuffles but pending and tricking others to take the fall while not fighting back depending on his cheery mood.

Isn’t without being imposed to battle, train, mentor anyone he sees with promise though his eye cannot help but glance at any woman as his greed isn’t that of gold and gil, but more of a carnal lust a whole different hunger entirely sees him think with the head between his legs instead of his actual noggin.

If your character is a prude, uppity, or a noble, You though can probably consider him rather riled up or anyone with governmental leverage or oozing ‘authority’ He can’t stand with anyone in SUPPORT or relation to those who supposedly have ‘political power’ he believes strongly in freedom and will often contest them. 

Hes dealt with voids and other relics so can be seen with other people unlike that are standard city-folk. But adventurers or other expediting travelers or mutual connections may have grumble his name out before. If there’s something to learn or culture to be taught to him then he’ll wish to learn it. He’s all about the social interaction and the moment made to leave behind memories with those of the denizens across Eorzea enough he’s faded and nothing but a fragmented set of syllables left off words of old as a tale in passing.

Hes participated in a few joining with Captaining of unlikely circumstances and a War among the Depths under a civilization buried under the Rohtano Seas where a massive criminal empire laid as many of his battles and advisories involve rivaling other pirate crews in a ‘robbin hood style’ of sorts, namely it’s out of creative story plots usually playing the other antagonist crews and giving them their own morale, roster, beliefs.

WHAT I’M LOOKING FOR ––––

Crew. Not just a crew, ‘The’ Crew select band of individuals to go to high heights of grander with. 

Creating stories with meaningful relationships. Friendships, Business Associates, Teachers, Students, Sparring Partners, Rivals, Long-term Romance Partners(Can be discussed/depends), Flings, Shorts, Playing ‘Villainous’ roles. Boosting credentials like Law enforcement etc. or joining with fellow corrupted figures.

OOCLY, I AM ––––

Bedridden (Sick) Usually takes some works around and patience but if that is tolerable and doesn’t see you packing, we’re going to get along well can already consider me your BFF for all the juicy topics.

Overly chill and outspoken along with communicative being my prime focus, though, don’t get me wrong I am always down to meet and learn of other peoples characters despite the image that may be seen!

I para-rp but do nearly ever format and style usually, I don’t go without matching my partner.

I plot with everything and genre just about though Dark/Romance/High-Fantasy/Fantasy/Erotic//Dramatic seem to be more where I often am seen engaging-in.

Nerd, +14yrs Dungeon Master / RPer / Former event runner /  Former Owners/Leaders for Discords and Linkshells / Tabletop Creator (Slacked off on that obv.)

I’m CST. But, can’t go on that. My health makes my sleep lately all over the place, I used to be a Vampire as nightly used to be my prime time but now I have no official time, I stick with. So, It’s a lame process to catch me.

YOU CAN CONTACT ME VIA ––

Twitter -  Captain Kuro Solaire

Tumblr - I try to follow everyone in FFXIV Community so should be able to DM me.

Discord: Kuro Solaire#0508

Ref Sheet - Captain Kuro Solaire

+18 F-list

(Branch out further more sometime)

[seriouslyblacklikemysoul]

Between the Shadow and the Soul - Hermione Granger x Draco Malfoy

Request: @cute-yet-dangerous could you write a fanfic where Hermione falls in love with Draco instead of Ron. You can choose the time-frame and the "ending" is up to you just like everything else ( though if you feel like it just a liiiitle bit of smut wouldn't be bad 😇) Thank you ❤

Warnings: My English, language. Gifs and pics aren't mine. Credits to their original owners. Also, I am very sorry if it’s not that great. 

A/N: Happy -early- Birthday, Ria. May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears. Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. Go forward and make your dreams come true.

Word Count ~2.6k+

MASTERLIST

Pending Requests

Falling in love was not rational. It was madness. A beautiful, wonderful moment of magnificent insanity. His sharp edges, somehow only made him softer in a way that she could never understand...not entirely. His broken heart only beat louder in the silence and it would be easier, to not love him if she didn’t know how bright his smile could be, if she didn’t know that his touch could be gentle... it would be easier, to not want to save him if she didn’t know how reassuring his words were, if she didn’t know that he’d sacrifice himself so she could live. One thing was for sure... It wouldn’t it make it easier for him, not to love her if she wasn't all those missing pieces that his soul was longing for.

She touched him and it was like war. The burning sensation in her bones overpowered her mind and her heart pounded like the drums that were calling soldiers to join, willingly, the bloodbath. It felt violent and visceral and she sensed some part of her was latching onto to his skin - a mark left on her for the stars to find when they would uncover their r sad, epic, poetic... mad story. He smiled at her and the stars became surpassed in what could bring her light. It was all teeth but there was a hint of joy in the way his mouth moved around her. The sun’s blaze turned to ash and she felt warm and wanted. She was living in the darkness until his grin found hers and from that moment, everything in her was created by his echoes.

Her voice became his compass, his true north. His voice was the one she could pick out in the middle of the crowd, in the middle of the battle because it was the map that led her home. The sound of his name coming off her lips was his anchor and without her voice, he would drown, down to the bottom of the endless ocean, and perhaps he deserved it but he was selfish and couldn't lose her too. Her eyes were dark enough to fall in. His eyes held the torment he had been through and she wished that she could heal his scars but she knew that she could only try to take away some of the ache. Her eyes would make the deities of the ancient world throw themselves into the pit to prevent any more loss. His eyes found hers and the colors of the universe seemed brighter, seemed softer, seemed more beautiful, seemed not enough to describe the flames that consumed them.

She loved him. That was what the pounding of her heart was singing. He loved her from this universe to the next one and the constellations would yearn to chart their story and the history books would place their names side by side and it will never be enough, because they loved each other and even after death, they would find their way back to each other's galaxies. It was all so brutally fake and honest at the same time. When she saw him for the very first time, she suddenly felt like the earth wasn't spinning on its axis but instead, somehow, he had conjured the stars and a whole new sky had replaced the old one. When he saw her, he began to question everything he was 'taught', every single socially constructed stereotype about her kind. What if things weren't just black or white? What if there were more?

But they clashed in a storm of fire and ice and it took them what seemed like a lifetime to realize that they had changed each other in a way that no one could ever suspect.

"You filthy little Mudblood" he hissed at her. She had grown used to it by now, but it still hurt her. Not because somebody was calling her that name - something that she would never hear in a civilized conversation - but because he was calling her that. The disappointment in her eyes cut him like a knife that kept twisting inside the wound. He, however, couldn't help it. It was the only wall that she hadn't managed to burn down to the ground. He had to appear cold, evil... pathetic as Potter had once called him. He was. He was so damn -

She kept her mouth shut but her eye spoke louder than any word could have. She didn't know what to think of him. She truly wanted to believe that somewhere within him, a better him was hidden. She had seen it - seen him being gentle and soft. Something extremely rare when it came to the Prince of Slytherin. 

The seasons succeeded one another in a constant, never-ending, cycle. He was growing all the more distant. She was growing all the more worried.

They say that love comes easy. It took breaking, sobbing in the middle of the night, screaming without muttering a word. It was painful yet beautifully chaotic, mesmerizing like the sky that made them think that they were just two more souls inside that vast and evergreen universe. It was an accidental meet under the velvet canvas and the magic of the Astronomy Tower. It was one night that changed destiny's path. It was that moment, where he saw her looking at him, not like she could save him, oh, no. She wasn't that much of a fool. She was aware that she couldn't save him, not like that. But she was able to recognize the shadows that were dancing on his skin, on his arm, the faint bruises and clenched fists and the ache inside his heart. And the world grew quiet as if it was giving this moment the weight it deserved. The moon was hidden behind dark clouds and the stars almost burnt out. And it was in the darkness that they realized they could change the universe. A single phrase made her head spin.

"I am sorry" he whispered. For the first time, he looked at her without removing his gaze. She wasn't prepared for anything like that. The next thing she knew was his hand tucking a loose strand behind her ear. What was happening?

"I get it. Just... be less your father and more...you. I think you are yet to discover how truly magnificent each person can be" she softly told him. She had found the courage to talk to him like that - or at all. He was a bit shocked but he smiled at her, melancholy spreading through her veins. It wasn't a happy smile. She had never seen him happy. She forgot to ask logic, instead listened to emotions and offered him her cup of tea. A mixture of black and green with caramel and almond which was always able to calm her down and keep her company through endless nights. He was never shown any kind of sympathy and he truly believed he didn't deserve it - especially from her. But he was grateful.

They sat there, in silence at first, staring at the almost fairytale-like sky. As soon as they started talking, things could never go back to black and white. And it wasn't until a certain potion that they started to realize what was truly going on. It was just... not expected. They kept meeting each other every other night, talking or not, drinking tea or not, staring at the sky or at each other. But not that night. He was angry. Furious. Mainly because he didn't want to feel the way he did. Every time he saw her, something inside him was dying but in a good - a very good- and a bad - very bad- way.

"Why are you pretending? You grew tired of being called mudblood and you felt sorry for me? What are you playing at?" he feverishly accused her before her eyes made him weak again. Her eyebrows shot to the sky.

"Excuse me? Where is this coming from?" she fired back. She hadn't heard him calling her that in a very long time and it felt so...bitter. He knew that he was lashing out and she had done nothing wrong. Just because he had a mission that the Dark Lord had assigned him... He had screwed up his entire life. She saw the change in his eyes. She understood that something wasn't quite alright but she had also figured him out. He would try to hide it.

"I'm sorry. I'll just go to bed. Goodnight" he stiffly informed her and ran off. Literally. 

It was probably the worst decision she had ever made. It was probably the one thing she did right in her entire life. She wasn't thinking as she walked towards the Slytherin's dormitories. She was fully aware that it was forbidden by not only the rules but herself as well. Yet, she did it anyway. Thankfully, the common room was empty and thanks to Lucius' cockiness, Draco had his own dorm. Right before she knocked his door, she froze. What on earth was she about to do? She wasn't this person. She didn't do things... spontaneously. She was organized and had plans and goals and ... she thought she had her life figured out. That whatever she had planned would work out exactly the way she had imagined. Draco, on the other hand... he showed her what different meant. How not possible to plan your life was. He made her question her existence and everything she was standing up for. He showed her that things may not always be what the seem to. With her heart pounding in her chest, she just opened the door and walked in, ignoring every single rule. "You’ve felt it, haven’t you? Those feelings that seem to get so big in your chest, like something is so beautiful it aches?" she asked him before he could even register her presence in his room. "Go away. Please" he murmured, not once looking at her. He knew that if she stayed a bit longer in the room, if her perfume mixed with the air for just a second more, things would get out of hand. He craved her in a way he never believed possible. He bushy hair, sparkly eyes, and that beautifully chaotic mind... made him feel things he... didn't even know existed.

"No" she firmly answered, standing her ground. She knew how he felt because she was experiencing the same. He wasn't able to think before acting upon his feelings. He got up from his bed and pinned her against the cold wall of his room, in a matter of seconds.

"I told you to leave" he threatened her but his voice latched on to her like satin. "And I told you, no" she deadpanned but it was a mere whisper. It was now or never. He just crushed his lips against hers and that moment all the voices in his head stopped talking. And Merlin, her taste was intoxicating him - a hint of chocolate mixed with tea. It started out as angry and heated kiss but it slowly became gentle and kind and... they both had poured their hearts into. He carefully swept her hair off her neck and she gave a sharp intake of breath at his unexpected kiss. She would be lying if she was to say she hadn't thought about that moment over and over again. There was an urgency to his kiss, making her feel wanted and utterly desirable. His hands roamed her body, starting at her neck, running down her back until he grabbed her hips and pulled them closer to him. The thought of what followed terrified her but also excited her, it made her go weak at the knees. Her heart was beating furiously now and so was his. He took a step back, looking at her with a burning question in his eyes.

"I have felt it. I feel it every time I think of you. And trust me, the thought of you... doesn't leave my mind" he spoke softly of things she craved to hear. He kissed her again, but this time it was gentler with the need and desire more evident. Her hands found their way and got lost in his hair, roamed his back and her fingers fumbled with the buttons on his shirt but soon it just fell to the floor, revealing his pale and glorious torso. It came so naturally that it actually scared them but also made them realize how foolishly they had wasted so much time, hating each other. He took her hand and led her to his bed with soft and elegant moves. She wasn't even feeling awkward or anxious. She wanted this. With him. His mouth was everywhere, kissing her and undressing her at the same time. She was tracing patterns on his body when he slightly bit her behind her ear, making her question what was real and what was not. There was something else... She could actually breathe within the fire he had brought to her. He was a walking contradiction, a puzzle and she loved getting lost in a riddle. They just fell asleep afterwards, with her wrapped inside his arms. 

Things were not good. They hadn't even talked to each other. He ignored her and she put on her facade. Months passed them by. They had stopped visiting the Astronomy Tower. She thought that the stars stayed silent at their turning point because they didn't just want to watch them and witness their journey. No, they wanted to test infinity. Death Eaters and The Order. Good and Evil, supposedly. There were no good guys. They weren't able to break free from destiny. Not as fast as they would like. But what the stars hadn't quite understood was that loving each other had stopped being something that scared them. Therefore, the longing glances, the nights filled with tears and sorrow, the pain that became physical after a while. She had lost him to time and space, nearly to fate but he was going to grow as a fighter soon enough. He would come back to her. He felt it deep in his bones that their devotion to one another was greater than those of the fairytales because they were never guaranteed a happy ending, instead they had bent every galaxy to make that beautiful 'them' work out. But it didn't... Not yet. Lives were like lines. And some times, if people we're lucky enough, those line crossed paths. There, however, some exceptionally few... and their lines crossed paths over and over again. She always knew that in a crowd of thousands she would be able to meet his eyes and find you. He knew that the moment her name dropped from his lips, the story would begin again. They had to wait. Quite a while. They had to be tested by war and blood and other people. Just when they were both ready to give up, their lines crossed paths in the most unexpected way. No one was surprised in the slightest when Hermione decided to go back to Hogwarts... but everyone was left stunned by Draco's return.

Once their eyes met, their hearts were revived. Some emotions couldn't go away.

This time, the stars were in their favor. This time, they would be. No more wars and battles to fight, no more villains, no more heroes. Just them, picking up from where they had left off. Somewhere between the Shadow and the Soul. “Hermione...” his soft and shaky voice, his pained yet hopeful eyes, gave her purpose again. To live again. And be happy. 

“Draco”.

Tags: @orionsirivsblack @kapolisradomthoughts @nadinissavage @geeksareunique

[schultz290]

How Wolfenstein: The New Order Avoided “Both sides” Rhetoric While Allowing for Moral Ambiguity

I wrote this in a piece I posted here in early 2015 about Wolfenstein: TNO’s take on Nazism and evil: 

“Nazis were human beings, and any group of human beings is capable of grotesque savagery when they don’t think critically about their beliefs and actions. Nazis weren’t evil because they were Nazis, Nazis were evil because they were human.”

Reading it now, I can’t help but cringe a bit. Taken out of context, this could easily be part of a piece extolling the depressing “both sides” argument that fascists and centrists alike have been putting forth in the wake of Charlottesville. It could continue: “And Antifa are human too, with the same moral weaknesses and proclivity to savagery the Nazis fell prey to.” It doesn’t, and I am thoroughly tired of the “both sides” false moral equivalency that has tainted the discourse around the events this summer. 

The thing is is that on some level I understand the arguments that some well meaning authors are making. A good example is this article by David Wong of Cracked, in which he tries to break down how moral absolutism leads groups down destructive paths. I agree with some of his central points, but the issue is that in attempting to add moral complexity to a situation he has instead obfuscated the real complexities of the situation on the ground. In making his point he makes a series of thin generalizations and sweeping judgements, like claiming that most people who attend anti-Nazi rallies probably don’t vote and charting a slippery slope that leads to having “declared war on literally everyone who isn’t currently in the room with you.” He paints Antifascism as a monolith based around the “fun” of beating up Nazis rather than fighting for policy change.  All of these incredibly misguided assumptions and mischaracterizations come from Wong’s attempt to explain this basic point he states at the beginning:

“Hating a bad thing does not make you good.”

I do not disagree with this sentiment, and completely understand the urge to state it in the wake of the course that modern politics has taken. But in doing so Wong and a plethora of others have fallen into the trap of mistaking moral ambiguity for moral equivalency. Wolfenstein: The New Order walks this line with incredible grace. It discusses some of the most pointed ambiguities of what the player does, and especially the ambiguities of the player character’s role in the war as an American. Wolfenstein is a game that recognizes that in regular game play the player is murdering human beings, and frequently revels in their doing so. But it does so with a full understanding of the moral implications of who is dying and why. Wolfenstein says “Yes, hating a bad thing does not make you good, but using force to fight Fascism is a necessary thing for good people to do.” !WARNING! A LOT OF SPOILERS FOR WOLFENSTEIN: THE NEW ORDER AHHEAD !WARNING!

One of the key ways that Wolfenstein does this is through its characters. The strongest aspect of Wolfenstein’s plot is its cast, both the wounded and long suffering resistance and the smugly triumphant Nazis. The resistance is notable for having a diverse membership that shares a common trait: the existence of themselves or members of their families is/was unacceptable to the Nazis. Caroline is handicapped, Bombate is black, Set is Jewish, Klaus’s first son was killed due to a club foot and his adoptive son Max is mentally and physically handicapped, Bobby Bram’s family died in the war,  J is black and has a disfigured face, Tekla shows signs of autism, Fergus/Wyatt has survivor’s guilt and likely PTSD, and B.J. has mental problems stemming from his time in a coma. All of these people aren’t comfortable middle class Germans who one day decided it would be “fun” to hate Nazis. These people have lost their families, their homes, and their right to exist to the Nazis. The alternate universe allows the material reality of Nazism to line up with the grandiose horror of its rhetoric, and these characters are all the consequences of such a world coming to be. They are fighting Nazism because they have no other choice.

But these characters are not just defined by their losses or their zeal for Nazi killing. They are each defined by positive traits and human qualities more than their hatred for the world they find themselves in. B.J. wants to fight the Nazis because he wants to live in peace and have a family. That’s the point of his dream sequences at the beginning and end of the game, that’s the tragedy of his saying to Anya at the end that happy endings are “not for you and for me”. The line that really emphasized this for me comes after his second dream before he storms Deathshead’s compound: “It’s agony to dream like this, and wake up to reality. But sometimes, truly, it is good to remember what you’re fighting for.” He knows that he’ll never get to be the loving father and husband he wants to be in this world, and that is the source of his rage at the Nazis. His motivation is love, not hate. This shines through in all of B.J.’s interactions with the other members of the resistance. When Tekla awakes him in the middle of the night for a philosophical discussion, he genuinely engages her in instead of brushing her off. When he accidentally scares Max, and then learns Klaus’s tragic backstory, he feels genuinely guilty and atones by returning all of Max’s lost toys to his room (the game doesn’t make you, but my B.J. always did!). A lot of the game’s secondary missions are like this, they have B.J. doing something nonviolent to help someone out of a genuine sense of empathy and kindness. Finding the wedding ring, returning Max’s toys, finding the medicine at the concentration camp: all for no reward ingame or otherwise. 

The other resistance fighters are like this too. They all have these little moments where they show affection or genuine kindness to each other, despite sometimes being utterly at odds. After Fergus yells at Blazkowicz for picking him to live 14 years ago, he offers Blazkowicz his gum in the next scene. Its a small gesture, and a subtle one, but I’ve always read it as him having calmed down and feeling genuinely bad for earlier. B.J. and Klaus’s relationship is extremely fraught at first, but they work together and eventually come to respect each other by the time Klaus meets his unfortunate end. Klaus is another character who fights for love. He loves Max, and the game goes to the right lengths to show us this. He sings Max to sleep, whispers gently to Max as he sleeps, and overall dotes on him like a loving father. He fights so Max doesn’t have to, and again this motivation gives a tragic depth to his character. Klaus and Max realize by the end that Max will have to use violence to defend himself and his loved ones in this Nazi world whether he wants to or not. "You’re going to have to stop crying and start fighting.” Max becomes violent after the Nazis riddle his beloved father with bullets in front of him, and his turn to ultraviolence makes absolute sense: he is trying to save the person who he loves and who loves him most in this world. 

The point is this: Wolfenstein’s Kreisau Circle aren’t good because they kill Nazis, they kill Nazis because they are good people with no other option to protect themselves and those they love. The game has both resistance members and the Nazis themselves point out that in doing what they do that the Kreisau Circle is killing and destroying just like the Nazis. The player can find letters from Nazi soldiers to their loved ones, overhear conversations in which Nazi prison guards question the party line, and is always kept aware that the Nazis have human lives and human relationships unrelated to their horrendous “job”. Frau Engel is defined by being a passionate and heartless Nazi, but the main relationship in the story for her is still one of love. She genuinely loves Bubi, and as perverse as their relationship may sometimes seem, there aren’t necessarily any hints that it is an abusive one. This is the moral ambiguity of Wolfenstein, it does not present killing Nazis as a purely good action.

Wolfenstein does not, however, make these ambiguities into equivalencies. Wolfenstein never presents killing Nazis as a bad thing either. It never argues that these are people who are just “doing their jobs” or “following orders”. Frau Engel may love Bubi, but she also loves the sense of superiority and supremacy that Nazi society gives her. She revels in her total power over others, as seen when she plays an ideologically charged “picture game” with B.J. on a train ride. She states her pride in her supposed acumen for spotting those of “impure blood” at the end of the “picture game”, not realizing that B.J. is a Polish-American of Jewish ancestry. In this scene we see that Frau Engel’s attachment to Nazism comes from the person it makes her. She is the human ideal, and can act with total power over “subhumans” and people she calls “vermin”. We see her do so at the concentration camp, where she personally marches around whipping inmates with her cane. Frau Engel isn’t just a Nazi. She loves being a Nazi, and has built her identity around it. Deathshead, the grinning villain of the story, has a similar characterization. This monologue to Blazkowicz during a flashback to 1946 perhaps best encapsulates his outlook:

“I know a lot about you. We have the same name, you and I. Wilhelm, William. But you call me, ‘Death’s head’, I don’t like it. I am a happy man, you see? It doesn’t sound right in English. Pronounce it correctly: ‘To-ten-kopf’.”

Deathshead loves Nazi society for many of the same reasons Frau Engel does, and they are again human reasons, if evil ones. Nazism provides him with an unlimited outlet for his sadistic scientific creativity, allowing him to inflict any amount of unnecessary pain and cruelty he wants on people the state deems subhuman. He preys on those without rights because he wants to, Nazism is his enabler rather than his driver. It serves as an ideological and societal basis for him to do what he does and to consider himself a good person at the end of the day. His speech he gives over the intercom of his fortress as B.J. tears through it at the end of the game shows this clearly:

“Terrorists, parasites. You come to free your ilk? Well as you drag your filthy feet across these halls, remember that you trespass against a man who built a civilization. A civilization to dwarf all others. Remember this, when I release the machine men.

I am a liberator! No longer must we serve the filthy parasite. No longer must we gaze upon his waddling gait, polluting the purity of our bloodline. No longer will we tolerate his primitive brain, and violent impulses. Oh, terrorists. Do you not see that my cause is just? Do you not see that there is no place for you in this world?

No matter how many soldiers you murder, no matter how much concrete you shatter, you will never soil my legacy. I have willed into existence a new age. An age of reason. Of purity. Of strength. Your legacy is nothing but a common impulse of anger. No different from the Gorilla in the jungle beating his chest. And even less impressive.”

Deathshead, through the magnificent vocal performance of Dwight Schultz, shows us that he legitimately believes every word that he is saying. And why wouldn’t he? He has wrapped his ambition, his arrogance, his sadism, and his hatred for humanity in Nazi ideology and has worked tirelessly to recreate the world in his horrid image. And he won! He did it! And the entire Nazi society has thanked him for it with limitless power. In the world as he conceives it, he is a hero.

Through these speeches it is clear that Deathshead is more than just another Nazi, he’s a living embodiment of the game’s core thesis on Nazism and evil. Deathshead and Frau Engel aren’t evil because they are Nazis. Deathshead and Frau Engel are Nazis because they were already evil. Just as the resistance fighters fight the Nazis because they are good people with no other choice, the Nazis are evil people with no incentive other than to do evil.

This is how Wolfenstein recognizes the moral ambiguities and tragic undertones of dealing with Nazism. Yes, Nazis are human. They love, they laugh, they smile, and have families who love them back. But their lives are knowingly built and predicated upon the murder and enslavement of billions of people, and they work every day to preserve the “New Order” that makes it possible. And this is why the only recourse that good people have in Wolfenstein’s world is to fight and kill them as fervently as possible. It is not just about revenge, it is not just about ideology, it is about survival in the face of an openly murderous social order. It is in this way that Wolfenstein says that sure, both sides are human and there is moral nuance to the situation. But there is a side fighting to murder and conquer and there is a side fighting to protect and survive, and it is obvious which we should side with as ethical human beings.

[tradewithjorgie-blog]

2. **!!Get rick quick!!** / AUDJPY

Let’s be honest, we’ve all seen the title above. That header will find you in some way, shape, or form. A relative might text you out of the blue, worried about your health. Someone on facebook you haven’t seen since high school might send you a message randomly: “hey _____, long time! How’ve you been? The kids look great!”. You’ll even see a small hand written sign staked into the ground next to a highway exit that reads, “Real Estate Investor looking for students: Make 10k a week”. It’s inevitable. Somebody can make you wealthier than you’ve ever imagined and they usually want to make you visualize this-

I can’t say that’s how I got started, but the beginning sure felt familiar. The rush of entering a trade for the first time. The excitement of learning a new technique or style that I knew was foolproof. That first $1,000 dollar deposit into my trading account. It’s a lot like doing drugs. It makes you want more and more. To learn more, to get more involved, and ultimately make you money. Buckets and buckets of cold hard cash. 

You’re a walking ATM baby, and banks everywhere will fear your name. 

And why wouldn’t you feel like that. You end up joining some kind of trading program that’s guaranteed to teach you to do the same thing as whoever is in charge. And when they post profit pictures like the one below, it only makes your hunger grow.

Why wouldn’t you want that same quality of life? Why don’t you deserve it? If they can do it so can you. They came from nothing, and wanting it bad enough half the battle, is it not?

But... as you start (and you know you’re not going to get rich right away), your MT4 trading platform history starts to look more like this:

Negatives everywhere. That’s how it goes. I’m counting on it happening to you, because I want your money. Now the writer of this blog never tried to bring people into a pyramid scheme. That’s not what Forex is, I’ve got the scars to prove it. Forex is a dog fight. Forex is a wilderness full of faceless, nameless rabid dogs, all smarter than you, faster than you, better equipped than you, with accounts 1 million times your size. Forex is about survival. Hiding in the shadows long enough for the big dogs to eat, get bored, and walk away, you try to take just enough to be able to trade tomorrow, nothing more.

I don’t want you to fail, but I understand that a large part of my wins, come from your bad psychology. It’s just how the world works. It’s not pretty, I’m not offering someone a product that will actually help their life or improve their lifestyle to make money. No I’m sprinting past the biggest of the dangers, snatching up as much as I can, leaping over limp bodies and getting the hell out of dodge.

That’s Forex. Every time I enter a trade I do it for me. But even a hawk that annihilates a sweet bunny from the face of the earth.... does it to feed her chicks. Wolf packs hunt with a terrifying beauty to the haunting sounds of howling on a snowy night, so that their pups might not starve or freeze. I do it so that one day my kids can have the opportunities I didn’t while at the same time getting to spend the time with myself that I still don’t get to spend with my father. 

In Forex, your goal is to react to the market. People will tell you the goal is to predict the market, but that’s impossible. The Foreign Exchange markets exist because 7+ billion people make an infinite number of decisions every day. How do you predict something like that? Over 5 trillion dollars enter and exit the Forex markets every single day. Just to put it into perspective, there’s only 11 billion dollars in liquidity in the US stock markets, or just .0022% of the Forex markets. If the stock market was an ant, Forex would be Planet earth. It’s where banks and multi-nationals do their (dirty) work and the best part: it’s 100% legal. And it will continue to be until everyone on earth uses US dollars.

I got into it because as luck would have it I sat behind a Jamaican kid in my finance class one day who had Tradingview.com open on his browser. I didn’t know exactly what it was, but I knew what it represented: a way out. I asked him about it and that’s pretty much it. We dropped out of that finance class a few days later because we were on a journey “to take our own finance class”. That was a big mistake but regardless, he and I are still thick as thieves. I love that kid.

Back to trading. Here’s how it goes. You get excited. You start losing. You win a trade here and there but that’s blind luck, you don’t know what you're doing. An impressionist painter can tell you exactly what he’s doing but unfortunately without at least a few years of practice, that doesn’t make you an impressionist painter. Forex can’t be taught Bob Ross style. 

You have to absorb information the same way a tennis player does. You have to fail and fail and fail and take a break and fail again, until your mind and body start to work instinctively. Like the matrix you don’t see lines of code falling down the screen anymore. What to other people look like a bunch of little green and red candles with a wick on both sides that rise and fall, to you it becomes a living, breathing, hissing animal. You’re trying to steal one golden scale off of its back as it slides up and down. Just one at first, if you go for anymore you’re going to get bit.

 Slowly you start to learn that when it gets to a certain point or the chart starts to look a certain way, this pissed off little animal is limited in it’s movement like a raccoon you’ve just cornered. Still, highly aggressive and unpredictable but... a little less unpredictable?

You start to win. Slowly you start to take back what was yours and while the other dogs are busy snarling at each other, boasting about their victories and licking their wounds, you’re content to work far, far away from the hype. This isn’t about grandeur anymore. This is about revenge. And another shot at reaching financial freedom. Speaking for myself the ultimate goal for these next 5 years is to achieve Digital Nomadicy. Ok I made the word ‘nomadicy’, but digital nomads do exist. All you need is an laptop and a wireless connection and you’re ready to trade from anywhere in the world. 

So... Let’s see how I’m doing up to this point. As I show you, please don’t feed the animals.

Starting with an H4 (every candle represents 4 hours of price movement) view of my chart on AUDJPY (Aussie Dollar vs. the Japanese Yen), we can see that current price movement has entered a channel of about 75 pips (sorry the picture is blurry). 

When a pair is “consolidating” that means that it’s not really going anywhere. It’s not going to nose dive, or shoot up any time soon (I hope). It’s just kind of moving up and down between to price points, in this case a little below 74.800 and almost right on 74.000. When price reaches one of these points I know it has to react to it in some way. I don’t try to predict if it’s going up or down, I’m just waiting for the moment when it picks a direction and I can jump in.

Now price hasn’t been this low except for two times that price fell super fast and then raced back up again. Wicks (the long sticks at the top & bottom) give us clues, but not too much information on the structure right here. What this means is that if price continues to fall, once it breaks that 74.000 line definitively, it has a good chance of tanking hard. And since price has been consistently falling since April 19th, 2019, there’s a good chance it will continue falling. When you trade in the same direction as the “trend”, you are trend trading. Easy enough right?

Now, if we draw lines across the top of the price action in the channel and the bottom, it looks like a triangular flag. Usually that means that price is going to bounce inside of these lines, until it breaks out and once it does, it usually moves definitively in that direction. Usually always, always being the key word.

Now remember we’re looking at the AUDJPY pair, which is in essence a battle between the two currencies. When one gets stronger, the other gets weaker relative to each other. There was a major Japanese news release planned today at 7:30PM eastern time that I thought would move the market a bit more than it did. If the information was better for Japan than expected, the price would go down because the base pair (what we’re trading, the Aussie dollar) would have weakened in reaction to Japanese strength. But the numbers were just as expected so nothing of excitement happened.

Where the red meets the green is where I got in. All those wicks right around where it is, tells me that the price is having trouble going down. Combine that with the fact that it’s sitting right at the bottom of the flag, and where I hope it goes is greater than the distance to where I would take my loses and walk away if it went the wrong, I entered the market. I am hoping that it plays back up to where the green ends, in which case I will walk away with money, not caring if it goes up even higher: don’t get greedy. 

As of this moment.... I am losing. But the battle is not lost. Stay tuned for next weeks blog post to find out what happens next.

[deadmanslocke-blog]

CHARACTER CHART

                        —- I want … something permanent.

                                                    Something that can’t be  {{ taken }} away ;;

                                 [ Is that too much to ask? ]

GENERAL:

Full Name: William Alexander Locke Meaning/Reason of name: Determined protector of mankind Nickname(s): Will, Liam, Locke, Deadshot Meaning/Reason for nickname(s): Most of them are simply shortened versions of his actual name, used for convenience or informality but the latter is a nod to his remarkable sharpshooting abilities.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE:

Age: 34 Do they look their age?: That very much depends, when he’s smiling he tends to look his age or a bit younger but when he frowns and puts on his serious or angry face then he can sometimes look older than he actually is. Eye Color: Gunmetal blue (see here !! warning for a closeup of an eye) Hair Color: Light brown Height: 6 ft 5 / 191cm Weight: 99 kg / 220 lbs Build: Mesamorphic Skin Tone: Fair though tends to tan when he’s out raiding in warmer sunnier climates. Style of clothes:

Will’s a generally very warm person to the touch and his attire tends to accommodate for this: short sleeved waistcoats and vests are commonplace with these he tends to wear worn but sturdy trousers. If he’s particularly warm he sometimes leaves his shirt open or take it off if he’s busy with manual labour. There’s no real colour scheme but he tends to stick to blacks, greys, browns and greens but most of the dye in his clothes has faded from salt-spray.

His shirt sleeves are more often than not rolled up and he always has a small blade tucked into the sleeve. On some days if it’s necessary he’ll don a weathered reinforced leather jacket over his normal clothing. He wears no other footwear besides boots, they’re a daily essential and let him switch from high impact to low impact activities quickly without the need to stop and change.

At sea he tends to equip a bandoleer across his chest where two pistols along with other tools for his daily tasks around the ship hang. Although his clothes don’t offer much in the way of protection they offer up more ability and freedom of movement during combat. Around his right thigh he tends to wear a second bandoleer where a third reserve pistol and his dirk tend to reside whilst hanging from his hip is his basket-hilted backsword. He also wears a set of interlinking leather necklaces around his neck.

Distinguishing Marks: He is always covered in bumps and bruises, scars and fresh wounds, both major and minor. There are more war wounds and fight wounds than he can count or remember and for the most part, he is able to cover them up, but his hands are usually quite scuffed up at the knuckles. This tends to serve even more to give people the impression that he’s simply muscle for hire rather than a rather intelligent individual. Will prefers to let himself be underestimated by people so that he can show them just how wrong they were to underestimate him. Scars: More than he can count scattered across his body, the most prominent being some thin scarring lines from what look like blade marks around his neck. Predominant Feature: His eyes are a rather odd shade of grey-blue, though these sometimes seem to shift colour depending on the lighting of a room and some even remark when his mood changes. Ailments (if any): Anxiety but no physical ailments

FAVORITES:

Colour: Blue Food: Any and all kinds of meat. Drink: Rum Hobbies: Checking the ship, card games, walking, weapons training and weapons maintenance.

BACKGROUND:

Hometown: The Nine Elms Tavern, 81 Commercial Road, Portsmouth, Hampshire Later Residence: The Cathedral Church of St Thomas of Canterbury (more commonly known as Portsmouth Cathedral) Current Residence: Crew quarters of the Crimson Demon First Memory: His father leaving him at his new home (the Cathedral in Portsmouth) with the brothers and nuns who were to become his new family. Most important childhood event that still affects them: His own birth, it was because of this event that the Locke family lost their mother and had she been around trade would have been better. Will was just another mouth they couldn’t feed and he couldn’t exactly work to pay them back which is ultimately what led to his father giving him to the church. This guilt and feeling as though he needed to repay them for what his place in the world cost them is part of the reason he dreamed of joining the Navy and bringing glory and fame to their family name. Education: Above average by all standards of a typical sailor in his position, Will is able to do sums, lettering and capable of comprehending large chunks of text if presented to him so long as they are relatively simple. Navigation was a skill he taught himself at sea along with other useful skills such as weapon handling. Religion: Formerly Christian belonging to the Church of England though now considers himself agnostic. Finances: Low

FAMILY:

Who do they look like the most? Mother/Father?: His father Mother: Abigail Locke Relationship with her: None-existent as she passed away during childbirth with Will. Father: Bradley Locke Relationship with him: Decent enough but nowhere near as close as Will would have liked, considering he didn’t grow up under the family roof he never really came to see his father as any patriarchal figure. He was much closer to his sisters who doted on him whenever he came to pay the tavern a visit. Siblings: 1 deceased elder brother, 4 elder sisters and 1 younger half-sister Relationship with them: Will was always doted on by his sister’s which is why he feels admittedly more comfortable around women and females than he does with men. Men have been responsible for hurting him in the past whereas most women he’s come to know have only ever treated him with kindness which he does his best to return in kind. He recognises and respects the intelligence women possess far more than most other men in society tend to.

ATTITUDE:

Most at ease when: With friends or other individuals who are less well-built than he is which is more common than not. Ill at ease when: Left alone with authority figures or individuals of higher rank than him/ people who think they’re his betters. Philosophy: Remembering the wrong doings that have been afflicted upon him and living his life hoping never to inflict that same pain on another. How they feel about themselves: Will is a very conflicted individual and incredibly insecure about his identity. He doesn’t wish to be defined by what he has survived and feels incredibly tainted by his experiences during his stint as a privateer shortly prior to turning pirate. He’s come to terms with himself more, but he has his low days that he just tries to push through. If granted one wish, what would it be?: To see his friends and family safely tucked out of harms way in a place they could live their lives free from the tyranny of the world.

PERSONALITY:

Greatest Strength: His loyalty Greatest Weakness: His pessimism and difficulty truly trusting and opening up to people. Are these strengths and weaknesses obvious to others?: His loyalty certainly is, along with his resourcefulness though his pessimism is harder to catch unless you’re specifically looking for it. His distrustful nature is more easily spot the harder you try to earn it.

TRAITS:

Optimist or Pessimist?: Pessimist Introvert or Extrovert?: Introvert but doesn’t mind socialising. Drives and Motivations: To continue earning a wage to support his family back home. Extremely Skilled at: Long-range shooting. Extremely Unskilled at: Opening up and truly trusting people. Mannerisms: Slouches when he’s alone but tends to straighten with company, tends to fiddle with items nearby or on his person i.e. his necklace or the buckles of his bandoleers etc.

[sage-nebula]

Fire emblem or pokemon. For the ask please!

I’m going to do Fire Emblem: Awakening. If you want Pokémon, please send that in another ask! (And specify games or anime---it matters!)

My favorite parent-child relationship

Chrom and both Lucina and (male) Morgan. I know there’s a tendency in fandom to characterize Chrom as this bumbling, clumsy dad who has no idea what he’s doing---but in canon we actually see that he’s a loving, supporting father who can get stern when necessary (that cockroach incident), but also cares deeply about both of his children and tries incredibly hard to be there for them. While we don’t get to see as many interactions between Chrom and Morgan as I would like (we only get their supports since Morgan doesn’t get to be involved with the actual plot), I still do love the supports, and the potential that is there for drama and conflict given that, in some timelines, Grima!Robin spirits Morgan away in order to raise him to be her perfect little soldier. (I even have an AU in my head for a scenario in which that happened, but then Morgan later falls into the Shepherds’ custody. There’s quite a bit of strife, particularly since Chrom and Lucina are adamant about not harming him, but others such as Frederick and Severa feel that he’s a threat, and Morgan himself is quite messed up due to all of the years of psychological abuse that Grima laid on him. I’ve never written anything for it, but damn do I have it in my head.)

So yeah, definitely Chrom with both of his children. My family. ♥

My favorite sibling relationship

LUCINA AND MORGAN, HANDS DOWN. Man, words can’t describe how much I love their relationship! Aside from the supports being adorable, there’s potential for conflict and development here that doesn’t exist in Lucina’s other sibling relationships, and that potential lies in the fact that---over the course of the plot---Lucina attempts to kill their mother. Obviously she can’t bring herself to follow through with it regardless of what choice is made, but she still draws Falchion against their mother, which is something that I feel Morgan would have a very negative reaction to, particularly given how much he adores Robin. (Of course, he’s not allowed to participate in the plot and so we never see him find out, but even still.) I do think that this would all be smoothed over in that same scene (I actually wrote a fic of that once, but it’s no longer on Tumblr---I can repost it if anyone wants), but all the same it would definitely cause conflict and strife, and that conflict simply doesn’t exist if Lucina’s mother is anyone else.

There’s also the fact that Morgan has amnesia, which is something that I think would also add more depth to their relationship. Lucina remembers all of the horrors that existed in the Bad Future, and Morgan doesn’t---and in a way, I think Lucina would be grateful for this, that her little brother was spared the memories that give her nightmares and keep her up at night, that motivate her to keep fighting for a better future, while plaguing her with anxiety and vicious fear all the while. But at the same time, Morgan losing his memories of the Bad Future means that he also lost his memories of her, and I think that would hurt. He regains some over the course of the plot---he does remember her, at least to some extent---but many of his memories are simply gone, and since I imagine they were very close, I think that would probably hurt Lucina a lot, too. (And Morgan himself would feel guilty, even as she assured him that he shouldn’t.)

And then there are the AUs---some of which we even see in-game, such as in Future Past---wherein Grima!Robin takes Morgan away, and Lucina has to keep fighting on without her brother, and if the are reunited at any point, he has been abused and warped to the point where he’s actively trying to fight and kill her despite how badly she wants to save and protect him. God, the angst quotient is off the charts here, so on top of the two being sweet and loving, how could I not love this?! BEST SIBLINGS, HANDS DOWN.

My favorite family relationship (other)

I have to admit, though, that I really do love Chrom and Lissa’s relationship. Their supports, wherein he takes none of her self-deprecating bullshit about being a bad princess (and insists that she’s a great princess, and proves it by having her talk to the others around camp) is very sweet, and I love how we get to see them support each other throughout the game as well. To that end, I do consider Frederick to be a pseudo part of their family (in the way that Zazu is to the lions in The Lion King, kind of), and I love his relationship with them as well. Frederick is best family babysitter, by far.

My favorite friendship between two people

I’m really attached to Robin and Gaius in this regard, largely in part due to my headcanon that they were childhood friends from ages 12-15, though Robin doesn’t recall it during the amnesia. This, of course, causes some angst on Gaius’ part, but even setting that aside I just love the way they bounce off each other and I really enjoy the friendship, even if a large part of my enjoyment comes from that headcanon.

But that said?

I also really cherish Chrom’s friendship with Gaius! I think that Gaius is a very important relationship for Chrom, because aside from the fact that Gaius is his future brother-in-law Gaius broadens Chrom’s horizons while at the same time making no illusion to the fact that he’s not doing this for Chrom’s benefit, he’s doing it so that Chrom can stop inadvertently rubbing salt in existing wounds due to Gaius’ own low, underprivileged status. Chrom isn’t trying to be insensitive in his supports, but he is nonetheless---and Gaius makes it clear that his actions in showing Chrom the seedy underbelly of the world are to stop those microaggressions and open Chrom’s eyes to what he’s doing, while at the same time doing so in a way that isn’t as harsh of a shut down as he originally dished out. Gaius offers some reality to Chrom, in other words, and this helps Chrom grow as a person. I really enjoyed their supports.

My favorite friendship between a group

THE JUSTICE CABAL, OF COURSE! Specifically, Owain, (male) Morgan, and Cynthia. All of their supports are absolutely fantastic, and the amount of shenanigans that they can (and do) get up to are unreal. I actually still have an idea for a birthday fic wherein Cynthia and Owain give Morgan a Justice Cabal birthday (shenanigans GALORE), but I haven’t written it yet despite having the idea for several years running now. Maybe I’ll do that this coming May.

My favorite mentorship

Mmm, is there one? I suppose the closest is Robin and Morgan, with the way she tries to teach him various tactics and strategies even as he tries to surpass her. It doesn’t get very much focus, though.

My favorite rivalry

Hah, probably Chrom and Vaike, if only because I can’t think of another one, and Vaike is pretty insistent that Chrom is his rival throughout their supports. (Meanwhile, Chrom tries to pretend that he doesn’t reciprocate, but let’s be real . . . he does. He reciprocates a lot. That cooking contest proves it.)

My favorite hatred/antipathy

MMMMMMM, honestly? There are quite a few good ones that I could name (such as Chrom and Gangrel, for instance), but I think the one that catches my attention the most is the one between Grima and Chrom.

Like, honestly---Grima against the royal family in general could work, because obviously there is a lot of antipathy between Grima and Lucina due to the Bad Future, and between Grima and Robin due to the fact that Robin was bred like a prized dog in order to be Grima’s vessel---but I focus on Chrom because I feel like Chrom stands to have the most to lose here, particularly in a timeline where Chrom and Robin are married and have their children. If Grima possesses Robin, then Chrom loses his wife. If she takes Morgan, he loses his son. Lucina could die. Chrom himself could die, and in my Risen!Chrom AU, well . . . he meets a far worse fate at Grima’s hands. When you consider the fact that Chrom is the Exalt during the vast majority of the plot and the fact that he is the one that wields Falchion and carries the Fire Emblem, that also marks him as Grima’s primary enemy, even though Robin is Grima’s primary target. They’re not quite at foetp level for me, but there’s definitely a ton of antipathy there, and I think it’s quite fun to work with.

My favorite potential relationship between characters who never talk in canon

The DLC chapters actually give us a lot of interaction between characters who don’t otherwise have supports, and so technically these characters do get to talk in canon, but I’m still angry that we never had legitimate supports between Lucina and Severa. There’s no excuse for it and I’ll never be over it, especially since Future Past heavily insinuates that Severa is Lucina’s second-in-command. There was no reason not to give us supports between them, IntSys. None.

[darbiblog-blog]

Drake's Playful Extra Life and the bounds of Ambition

New Post has been published on https://darbi.org/drakes-playful-extra-life-and-the-bounds-of-ambition/

Drake's Playful Extra Life and the bounds of Ambition

The title of Drake’s Extra Lifestyles comes from a Jamaican encouragement, and lots of listeners would possibly take it as a carpe diem or live lengthily and prosper or another zap of concept. However, you could study the phrase Extra darkly—as a reference to the drag of mortality, as a gripe at any other day on this rock. A person may sigh “Greater Life” around big birthdays, or after large achievements. That aspect your whole Existence has been leading as much as has come about. Now what? Simply More Existence.

Define Frisky

Playful Games

Drake turned 30 in October, during the length whilst his album Views turned into enjoyable each prophecy he’d made for himself. His lengthy-favored No. 1 hit? Perspectives gave him it. Becoming the most important name in track? Views bought Greater than any album a final year. The eighty one-minute launch additionally drew an exceptional quantity of criticism to him—for indulgence, for sameness, for petulance. What’re Extra Lifestyles after that? Laws of gravity and fame might advocate a probable answer: descent.

But Drake greatest expertise is in scrambling pre-anticipated narratives at the way to reaching the most effective issue he cares approximately: his personal validation. And so now comes a “playlist”—you can say “album”—to keep the thrill of achievement going while he charts a new long-term plan. A shocking large quantity of disparate sounds throughout 22 new songs, Extra Life can be examined as a brainstorming of future instructions, a cleaning of residence or, most plausibly, only a victory celebration. Spent, he indulges a tour kick, brings some friends together, hits play, and then Simply mingles—even though with a palpable sense of unease.

Greater Existence teems with voices apart from his personal, making for a medley of accents, tones, and shipping styles from throughout the continents. The women, consisting of Australia’s Nai Palm and Sweden’s Snoh Aalegra, often sound accelerated and higher than human (keep for a pattern of his perhaps-ex Jennifer Lopez this is bogged down, sinisterly). In the meantime, the men, many hailing from the United Kingdom dirt scene, are close-up, uncooked, and deeper-voiced than Drake. Once in a while, the visitor vocals are seasoning and Sometimes they are entree: The rising R&B singer Sampha showcases his wounded coo for a whole music; Atlanta’s amorphous Younger Thug raps on songs, each time modulating his transport for authentic novelty.

But the album’s celebrity detail is the production, which—just like the vocals—has been decided on with a style dressmaker’s feel for comparison and likeness. On a size of intoxicating dance songs, patient grooves play out with an experience of eternity, whether or not with denuded strings on “Passionfruit,” rubbery house bass on “Get It together,” or reggae-dusted drum skitters on “Blem.” For the directly in advance rap songs, Drake’s beatmakers construct momentum with little innovations: a legitimate like a psychedelic zipper-pull at the chic “Sacrifices”; a slow-rolling typhoon of syncopation and synth washes on “Can’t Have The whole thing.”

If I’m making it sound like Drake has receded a chunk on his very own album, he has. But while he does make his presence acknowledged, it’s with normal calculation and finesse (two traits he explicitly brags approximately right here). There’s a brand new, laconic go with the flow on “Sacrifices,” an experience of fly-off-the-handles chaos beneath his phrases on the opener “Unfastened Smoke,” and precision and cause at the same time as dressing down competitors on “Do Not Disturb” and “Lose You.” The oh-so-gentle singer persona the hundreds met on “Hotline Bling” recurs on the dancier songs—“Passionfruit” specifically is as smooth as sorbet—in addition to at the oddly lumpy Kanye West collaboration “Glow.”

But there’s a nagging disconnect among Greater Existence’s vibrant sound and Drake’s commonly sour concern count number, even supposing the playlist does have him doing the age-appropriate thing of taking inventory of his years to this point and questioning what’s next. “Free Smoke” is a number of the higher began-from-the-backside narratives he’s provided, packed with sharp details just like the truth that he wanted hand sanitizer to count number the cash at his early gigs. “Lose You” is a landmark of rating settling, with Drake pointing out the purpose in order to define his career henceforth: “We got it, now we Just gotta hold it.” He mentions his very own exhaustion a couple of instances throughout the album; he makes clean he’s Not satisfied; he closes by using pronouncing he’s taking a year off.

Ambition Essay

What’s fascinating is that Drake seems dimly aware that “maintaining it”—it being his area at the top of the heap—would possibly contain shifting his approach. At one factor, Drake raps, “higher attitude, we’ll see wherein it gets me.” Later, his mother leaves a voicemail pronouncing she doesn’t like his current “terrible tone” and advising: “Once they pass low, we go excessive.” But it’s Not clear whether we’re supposed to scoff given Greater Life’s other content material. A line like “I ought to by no means have a child then be out right here nonetheless kiddin’ round,” reputedly aimed toward Meek Mill or one of the different rappers-lower-dads who’ve come for him, isn’t going high After they cross low. Nor are the standard-issue airings of unhappiness towards girls and grim congratulation for his personal self-making.

Drake has spun the tale of his personal upward push once more, again, again through the years, and whenever he’s given the impact that the handiest factor that drives him is the impulse to win. Sometimes he’ll mention the want to pay his mother’s payments; other instances, he’ll bring in a sense of lifting up his community in Toronto. However, as he’s grown More famous and More powerful, the one’s causes have still in no way been the principle one—“My Lifestyles is centered ‘spherical competition and foreign money,” he says in Extra Life’s very last moments. Even love has gotten edged out inside the name of ambition: He raps that he’s spending an excessive amount of time on the studio to be a “Romeo,” after which wonders, “Who is aware of where I grow to be when that shit gets old? / perhaps it by no means gets vintage and that’s Just the way it is going.”

Grabbing cleverly from an array of worldwide patterns with an ear for a laugh, as he’s executed right here, is a way to resume his appeal in a moment whilst it regarded he’d have to stall out. Writers like Brittany Spanos at Rolling Stone have well counseled the undertaking is “redefining the borders of blackness in pop” by way of drawing from across the African diaspora—but if that’s the using idea, Drake doesn’t ever quite say it. It would help him to do so. The mission to hold beating the world appears unsustainable without, well, a larger mission that transforms the prove-yourself starvation of Drake’s 20s into something More stable.

Then again, he’s defied the good judgment of career arcs before. Possibly More Lifestyles for Drake method the music receives Greater interesting whilst the person at the center Just scowls, his success being the least pleasant kind: current most effective for its very own sake.

The Play Of Lifestyles – Who is Your Man or woman?

I trust with all my heart that you defeated Satan on Calvary, yet I wrestle with him daily. Lord your phrase is fact, so why does our flesh fall for each lie? Deep inside I know what a first-rate fee you paid for me and the hurt of residing in fear and Not via religion reasons me to stumble day by day.

He who the Son sets Unfastened is Unfastened certainly. These certainly aren’t merely words, they are a strength to interrupt the chains of slavery….Mentally, bodily and emotionally. when our situation stays steady our religion is sorely tested. We are saved through the Blood of the Lamb and by way of the phrases of our testimony. Dear God, I have always given you Glory for the miracles you have finished in my Lifestyles. If I ever hesitate, Lord seeks my coronary heart, it is my fear Lord Not my being ashamed of you or your Gospel.

Father, please cleanse my coronary heart and mind of something I do or say that grieves you. Our lives had been planned for you, But the alternatives we make are ours. Selfishness is an effective weapon in the palms of the enemy. If all of us would be honest with them, this crafty tool wrecks every kind of relationship. Satan authored in the ‘country’ of selfishness along with his act to raise himself up and above God to be more. That self-targeted move cost him his area in God’s Country. Will that situation in your Lifestyles value you your everlasting Blessing?

I pray for Father that your Holy Spirit will remove each choice in my Person that continuously locations me….Me….Me at the throne of Everything, But I apprehend how I’m being defeated. Jesus please take your rightful area at the throne of my heart, thought Existence and every desire.

God, I know how distressful it’s miles to look at your children fail to walk in victory daily when Devil is already defeated. He continues beating us up with the equal lame tricks he’s used for two,000 years. whilst will we awaken and recognize we do not fight in opposition to flesh and blood, our weaponry is your word. The entirety we see are Simply the ‘props’ in God’s play of Lifestyles. The actual performing goes on among your ears. Mind are spirits. If your Mind is properly, Reward GOD! If your Mind is evil, Praise GOD greater! that you had the thought is not the problem, what did you do with it or what did it do with you? Whilst you’re overwhelmed with hectic Thoughts that come to thieve your peace and pleasure don’t roll over and play useless…..we are at the struggle. Satan’s timetable to your loss of life is fast vanishing. He knows his time is short and he’s doing The whole lot he can to secure your soul to everlasting damnation.

If you’re and intellectual, an agnostic or an atheist Satan truly loves you. No struggle to wage to your soul, you’ve got already surrendered it. No shots to heart, Not darts to throw, no twisted useless imaginations….Too easy, manner too smooth. Created with the aid of the one genuine Splendid being in his photo and he entered this global as a light, But the ‘select’ selected the darkness and the darkness started, thanks!

There has been a tune George Michael sang that said God’s No longer keeping rating. I am sorry George, But yet again the serpent maintains to weave his net of deceit.

nicely The united states we are blazing a path to hell as hard as we will and I won’t even try and run down the listing because each and every one of us has felt conviction. We recognize right from wrong, However, our conscience has been seared with a hot iron.

he’s sluggish to anger, However how lots More is he going to watch? We’ve pushed him out of our minds and we somehow have advised ourselves there will be no day of reckoning. What a lie, what a fall!

If you’re still Blessed enough to have that quiet voice speak to you, stirring up all of the goodness God synthetic in you….concentrate….Be nevertheless. We have made it acknowledged we do not need God nor can we want him in our lives, there may be most effective one problem, this play was written in his residence, all you and that I am….Are the cast.

Playful sentence

Make certain the part you are gambling is blanketed in blood when the very last curtain is drawn. His blood shed for you even In case you’ve lived your entire Lifestyles for you, he is nonetheless accomplishing out.

[kalachand97-blog]

New Post has been published on Globeinfrom

New Post has been published on https://globeinform.com/drakes-playful-extra-life-and-the-bounds-of-ambition/

Drake's Playful Extra Life and the bounds of Ambition

The title of Drake’s Extra Lifestyles comes from a Jamaican encouragement, and lots of listeners would possibly take it as a carpe diem or live lengthily and prosper or another zap of concept. However you could study the phrase Extra darkly—as a reference to the drag of mortality, as a gripe at any other day on this rock. A person may sigh “Greater Life” around big birthdays, or after large achievements. That aspect your whole Existence has been leading as much as has come about. Now what? Simply More Existence.

Drake turned 30 in October, during the length whilst his album Views turned into enjoyable each prophecy he’d made for himself. His lengthy-favored No. 1 hit? Perspectives gave him it. Becoming the most important name in track? Views bought Greater than any album a final year. The eighty one-minute launch additionally drew an exceptional quantity of criticism to him—for indulgence, for sameness, for petulance. What’re Extra Lifestyles after that? Laws of gravity and fame might advocate a probable answer: descent.

But Drake greatest expertise is in scrambling pre-anticipated narratives at the way to reaching the most effective issue he cares approximately: his personal validation. And so now comes a “playlist”—you can say “album”—to keep the thrill of achievement going while he charts a new longterm plan. A shocking large quantity of disparate sounds throughout 22 new songs, Extra Life can be examined as a brainstorming of future instructions, a cleansing of residence or, most plausibly, only a victory celebration. Spent, he indulges a tour kick, brings some friends together, hits play, and then Simply mingles—even though with a palpable sense of unease.

Greater Existence teems with voices apart from his personal, making for a medley of accents, tones, and shipping styles from throughout the continents. The women, consisting of Australia’s Nai Palm and Sweden’s Snoh Aalegra, often sound accelerated and higher than human (keep for a pattern of his perhaps-ex Jennifer Lopez this is bogged down, sinisterly). In the meantime, the men, many hailing from the United Kingdom dirt scene, are close-up, uncooked, and deeper-voiced than Drake. Once in a while, the visitor vocals are seasoning and Sometimes they are entree: The rising R&B singer Sampha showcases his wounded coo for a whole music; Atlanta’s amorphous Younger Thug raps on songs, each time modulating his transport for authentic novelty.

But the album’s celebrity detail is the production, which—just like the vocals—has been decided on with a style dressmaker’s feel for comparison and likeness. On a seize of intoxicating dance songs, patient grooves play out with an experience of eternity, whether or not with denuded strings on “Passionfruit,” rubbery house bass on “Get It together,” or reggae-dusted drum skitters on “Blem.” For the directly-in advance rap songs, Drake’s beatmakers construct momentum with little innovations: a legitimate like a psychedelic zipper-pull at the chic “Sacrifices”; a slow-rolling typhoon of syncopation and synth washes on “Can’t Have The whole thing.”

If I’m making it sound like Drake has receded a chunk on his very own album, he has. But while he does make his presence acknowledged, it’s with normal calculation and finesse (two traits he explicitly brags approximately right here). There’s a brand new, laconic go with the flow on “Sacrifices,” an experience of fly-off-the-handles chaos beneath his phrases on the opener “Unfastened Smoke,” and precision and cause at the same time as dressing down competitors on “Do Not Disturb” and “Lose You.” The oh-so-gentle singer persona the hundreds met on “Hotline Bling” recurs on the dancier songs—“Passionfruit” specifically is as smooth as sorbet—in addition to at the oddly lumpy Kanye West collaboration “Glow.”

But there’s a nagging disconnect among Greater Existence’s vibrant sound and Drake’s commonly sour concern count number, even supposing the playlist does have him doing the age-appropriate thing of taking inventory of his years to this point and questioning what’s next. “Free Smoke” is a number of the higher began-from-the-backside narratives he’s provided, packed with sharp details just like the truth that he wanted hand sanitizer to count number the cash at his early gigs. “Lose You” is a landmark of rating settling, with Drake pointing out the purpose in order to define his career henceforth: “We got it, now we Just gotta hold it.” He mentions his very own exhaustion a couple of instances throughout the album; he makes clean he’s Not satisfied; he closes by using pronouncing he’s taking a year off.

What’s fascinating is that Drake seems dimly aware that “maintaining it”—it being his area at the top of the heap—would possibly contain shifting his approach. At one factor, Drake raps, “higher attitude, we’ll see wherein it gets me.” Later, his mother leaves a voicemail pronouncing she doesn’t like his current “terrible tone” and advising: “Once they pass low, we go excessive.” But it’s Not clear whether we’re supposed to scoff given Greater Life’s other content material. A line like “I ought to by no means have a child then be out right here nonetheless kiddin’ round,” reputedly aimed toward Meek Mill or one of the different rappers-lower-dads who’ve come for him, isn’t going high After they cross low. Nor are the standard-issue airings of unhappiness towards girls and grim congratulation for his personal self-making.

Drake has spun the tale of his personal upward push once more, again, again through the years, and whenever he’s given the impact that the handiest factor that drives him is the impulse to win. Sometimes he’ll mention the want to pay his mother’s payments; other instances, he’ll bring in a sense of lifting up his community in Toronto. However as he’s grown More famous and More powerful, the ones causes have still in no way been the principle one—“My Lifestyles is centered ‘spherical competition and foreign money,” he says in Extra Life’s very last moments. Even love has gotten edged out inside the name of ambition: He raps that he’s spending an excessive amount of time on the studio to be a “Romeo,” after which wonders, “Who is aware of where I grow to be when that shit gets old? / perhaps it by no means gets vintage and that’s Just the way it is going.”

Grabbing cleverly from an array of worldwide patterns with an ear for a laugh, as he’s executed right here, is a way to resume his appeal in a moment whilst it regarded he’d have to stall out. Writers like Brittany Spanos at Rolling Stone have well counseled the undertaking is “redefining the borders of blackness in pop” by way of drawing from across the African diaspora—but if that’s the using idea, Drake doesn’t ever quite say it. It would help him to do so. The mission to hold beating the world appears unsustainable without, well, a larger mission that transforms the prove-yourself starvation of Drake’s 20s into something More stable.

Then again, he’s defied the good judgment of career arcs before. Possibly More Lifestyles for Drake method the music receives Greater interesting whilst the person at the center Just scowls, his success being the least pleasant kind: current most effective for its very own sake.

The Play Of Lifestyles – Who is Your Man or woman?

I’m geared up with all of the electricity of the universe, But but I sense powerless.

I trust with all my heart that you defeated Satan on Calvary, yet I wrestle with him daily. Lord your phrase is fact, so why does our flesh fall for each lie? Deep inside I know what a first-rate fee you paid for me and the hurt of residing in fear and Not via religion reasons me to stumble day by day.

He who the Son sets Unfastened is Unfastened certainly. These certainly aren’t merely words, they are a strength to interrupt the chains of slavery….Mentally, bodily and emotionally. when our situation stays steady our religion is sorely tested. We are saved through the Blood of the Lamb and by way of the phrases of our testimony. Dear God, I have always given you Glory for the miracles you have finished in my Lifestyles. If I ever hesitate, Lord seeks my coronary heart, it is my fear Lord Not my being ashamed of you or your Gospel.

Father, please cleanse my coronary heart and mind of something I do or say that grieves you. Our lives had been planned for you, But the alternatives we make are ours. Selfishness is an effective weapon in the palms of the enemy. If all of us would be honest with them, this crafty tool wrecks every kind of relationship. Satan authored in the ‘country’ of selfishness along with his act to raise himself up and above God to be more. That self-targeted move cost him his area in God’s Country. Will that situation in your Lifestyles value you your everlasting Blessing?

I pray for Father that your Holy Spirit will remove each choice in my Person that continuously locations me….Me….Me at the throne of Everything, But I apprehend how I’m being defeated. Jesus please take your rightful area at the throne of my heart, thought Existence and every desire.

God I know how distressful it’s miles to look at your children fail to walk in victory daily, when Devil is already defeated. He continues beating us up with the equal lame tricks he’s used for two,000 years. whilst will we awaken and recognise we do not fight in opposition to flesh and blood, our weaponry is your word. The entirety we see are Simply the ‘props’ in God’s play of Lifestyles. The actual performing goes on among your ears. Mind are spirits. If your Mind are properly, Reward GOD! If your Mind are evil, Praise GOD greater! that you had the thought is not the problem, what did you do with it or what did it do with you? Whilst you’re overwhelmed with hectic Thoughts that come to thieve your peace and pleasure don’t roll over and play useless…..we are at struggle. Satan’s timetable to your loss of life is fast vanishing. He knows his time is short and he’s doing The whole lot he can to secure your soul to everlasting damnation.

If you’re and intellectual, an agnostic or an atheist Satan truly loves you. No struggle to wage to your soul, you’ve got already surrendered it. No shots to heart, Not darts to throw, no twisted useless imaginations….Too easy, manner too smooth. Created with the aid of the one genuine Splendid being in his photo and he entered this global as a light, But the ‘select’ selected the darkness and the darkness started, thanks!

There has been a tune George Michael sang that said God’s No longer keeping rating. I am sorry George, But yet again the serpent maintains to weave his net of deceit.

nicely The united states we are blazing a path to hell as hard as we will and i won’t even try and run down the listing, because each and everyone of us has felt conviction. We recognise right from wrong, However our conscience has been seared like a hot iron.

he’s sluggish to anger, However how lots More is he going to watch? We’ve pushed him out of our minds and we somehow have advised ourselves there will be no day of reckoning. What a lie, what a fall!

If you’re still Blessed enough to have that quiet voice speak to you, stirring up all of the goodness God synthetic in you….concentrate….Be nevertheless. We have made it acknowledged we do not need God nor can we want him in our lives, there may be most effective one problem, this play was written in his residence, all you and that I are….Are the cast.

Make certain the part you are gambling is blanketed in blood when the very last curtain is drawn. His blood shed for you even In case you’ve lived your entire Lifestyles for you, he is nonetheless accomplishing out.