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feathers-scales-and-tails · 4 years

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Been seeing a lot of “backyard eggs are cruel” articles lately, so I wanted to go through a couple of the points they raise and highlight why backyard eggs aren’t inherently cruel.

1) Chicks come from factory farm hatcheries

This point is entirely dependent upon an individuals purchasing choices. The only chicks coming from factory farm hatcheries are production hybrids, so ISA Brown, HYLINE Brown, Utility Leghorn, etc. so long as you don’t purchase these hybrids, you don’t support the unethical factories.

Although private hatcheries have their own plethora of ethical issues, these places are not suppliers to factory farms. The best place to purchase your chicks or pullets from is a private breeder who has good welfare standards. Neither of these options support the factory farms, and the claim that majority of backyard hens come from these factory farm hatcheries is false. I currently can’t name a single person I know with birds from a factory farm hatchery.

2) Male chicks are killed at birth

If you are buying factory farm chicks, yes. However as I mentioned above, few backyard hens are coming from this source. Private hatcheries which sex chicks either sell cockerels cheaper, or sell them in bundle deals for meat birds. Unfortunately private hatcheries are about profit, and believe it or not they can still profit off cockerels.

Private breeders rarely ever sex chicks. It requires specialised training and cockerels are harder to sell, so most sell chicks unsexed. Breeders also want to grow out these cockerels, there needs to be a keep back for the next generation of breeding. Either way, private hatcheries and breeders where a lot of backyard hens are sourced from are not killing male chicks on a large scale.

3) Hens are unhealthy and unnatural due to genetic manipulation

First of all, domestic hens lay more eggs than their ancestors due to selective breeding, not ‘genetic modification’ or ‘genetic manipulation’. Production hybrids are certainly unhealthy, laying over 300 eggs a year causes their bodies to wear out and they’re predisposed to so many reproductive issues. They were bred with the intention of maximum production, replaced after 18 months once this production declines. They are a mess and frankly should not exist.

This is the argument point which always frustrates me the most because, you do realise there are hundreds of chicken breeds right? And just like with dogs, these breeds all have different temperaments, characteristics, and health statuses.

A well bred Wyandotte who lays 200 eggs a year rarely experiences the health issues of production hybrids. These issues are almost unheard of in Sumatra or Sebright who lay 50-100 eggs a year. There are so many heritage breeds out there bred for their longevity, living on average 7-8 years rather than the measly 2-3 of production hybrids.

Most people who keep backyard hens love these birds dearly, these are their pets. Why would someone purchase an unethical production hybrid off the factory farms knowing she will die a horrible death in 2 years, when they could instead get a heritage breed who’ll lay them eggs until she’s at least 5?

I know very few people with backyard hens who keep the production birds

4) Hens are abandoned/killed when production slows/stops

I have yet to meet a single person who has purposefully gotten rid of their hens once production slows or stops.

Production hybrids rarely stop laying unless they are actively affected by reproductive complications, these birds sadly die before they stop laying so owners are definitely not ‘abandoning’ these birds, rather they die long before their time while still pumping out those eggs. Alternatively, heritage breeds will lay for years. We’ve had a 9 year old Sussex still laying eggs. For all the backyard keepers with heritage breeds, the time to ‘replace’ hens is often very far into the future.

This isn’t even raising the point that, these hens are pets. People can eat eggs and still bond fiercely with their hens, people can eat eggs and still value the life of the hen. I don’t think many people are going to turn around and kill their friend suddenly because she stops laying as frequently. My grandfather who used to own a small scale egg farm always kept his old hens who no longer laid, he’d had them for 7 years and that’s an attachment that’s hard to break.

The idea that hens suddenly stop laying eggs one day so people replace them is quite silly, it just doesn’t happen in a backyard setting. Certainly in egg farms, but not with pet hens.

5) Laying eggs depletes nutrients. Hens need to be fed their eggs to get these back

Laying eggs definitely takes up a shocking amount of vitamins, minerals, and amino acids. A big one is calcium, the egg needs a lot to shell it, but each egg also needs enough calcium stores inside the yolk to nurture and grow a chicks skeleton. If a hen doesn’t have enough calcium, she’ll draw it from her bones to produce eggs.

But the thing is, she doesn’t need to eat her own eggs to gain this nutrition back. Chickens have been domesticated for thousands of years, and in this time we’ve perfected their diet. There are many fantastic feeds on the market tailored specifically for a laying hens needs! She should be fed a pellet or mash diet, this ensures she gets the correct amount of all the nutrients, whereas with grain she can pick and chose parts and become deficient. Furthermore, chickens aren’t stupid animals. A hen will know if she needs more calcium, and this is why it’s important to offer them oyster shell, limestone, and crushed egg shells so she can eat extra calcium at her leisure.

Sceptical of the feed, or maybe you just think she deserves those eggs back after all her hard work? Well while it’s nice to treat your hens to an egg every now and then, too many can cause many fatal health issues. If she eats every single egg she lays, AND eats a nutritional balanced diet, she’s getting way too much of those nutrients since the feed is already replacing that loss. A really big concern is that she’ll put on too much weight from all the protein in eggs, this can lead to fatty liver disease which kills many backyard hens annually. Maintaining a good weight in your flock is vital to preventing other health issues too such as egg binding and heart failure.

I love letting my hens eat raw eggs, it’s hilarious and they love it. However I actually had to stop because one of my hens Sooty got dangerously overweight and was at risk of fatty liver disease. You might think feeding hens back their own eggs is great for their health, but it should be in moderation, there is too much of a good thing. Unless you’re feeding your hen rubbish, she doesn’t need the eggs since her diet replaces those nutrients daily, and please don’t feed your hens rubbish.

6) We are using the hens. They are not ours to use as we please

I suppose this point holds up depending on your personal beliefs. I personally don’t feel pet hens are being ‘used’ at all, rather it’s a mutually beneficial relationship. We give them food, safety, and friendship, so they return that friendship and sometimes eggs.

A part of domestication is that the animal adapts to living alongside us, with chickens it just happened to be the constant access to good food and a safe nest encouraged them to lay more eggs. We can’t change that now, so we may as well use the eggs. A dog or cat domesticated for companionship will provide that, are we abusing those pets as well by taking their companionship?

Also if I’m being quite frank, no one will ever get eggs cheaper by keeping backyard chickens. Feed is expensive, coops are expensive, veterinary care is expensive. Anyone getting backyard hens will have some other motive to it rather than just “I want free eggs” because these eggs aren’t free. Most people want a pet, they don’t want to support the factory farming, or they want to feel more self sufficient, maybe all three of those reasons! People aren’t getting backyard hens with the intent of ‘using’ them for eggs, because it’s cheaper just to buy eggs.

So to sum this up, backyard eggs aren’t hurting the hens! If anything, it’s helping them! Showing support for more ethical means of egg production will put pressure on the large scale egg farms to change ways. Hopefully these unethical practices will be phased out one day, it’ll take time, but one step at a time.

Thanks for reading! Epponnee says this egg is for you, they’re tasty and she wants to share! Please take it or she will keep crowing until you do!

#myposts #info #feathers #chickenblr #birdblr #pet chicken #backyard chicken #animal welfare

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luckyspacerabbit · 3 years

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drell diaspora meta <3

as told by me! a mixed diasporic chindo (chinese-indonesian) :)

preface: bioware failed to flesh out Drell culture and heritage to my satisfaction so I wrote this meta for both my personal reference and because I wanted to represent Thane and Drell as people who suffer from a history that invokes parallels between real world colonization/imperialism, as well as portray his personal conflict with this accurately because it's very painful and I think gets naturally overlooked by people who lack this background!

Contents:

The Family Unit

Food

Music

Customs

Hanar Intervention (honestly read this bc I think it's the most important section!!)

1. The Family Unit

Size: They're small by necessity: as in there is no room on Kahje to support. This is a bit of a complicated topic. Drell families are likely to lose their children to the Compact giving them incentive to have more than one or two but it’s probably very expensive to provide for them. I can see a lot of cultural tension here. There are pressures in either direction. There's a lot of sadness too. It makes every child extremely precious.

Values: Independence is an important quality-- but not to a fault! Because family units can be taken apart at any time, being able to take care of yourself is a survival skill. In addition, spiritedness is a closely held value-- To make up for the loss of large family trees and ability to be in close quarters (due to the constant coming and going of family members) it becomes very important to showcase your passion-- whether to each other or about any matter of things in life. Overall, spiritedness is most important! caring and wanting to improve upon yourself as well as self-discipline and hard work.

A.N: Probably because, as evidenced by Thane’s dialogue, they've come to view what happened on Rakhana as like, self-inflicted or weak of spirit ( :( this has me extremely messed up. The whole situation is based on Colonialist propaganda honestly so this conflict to me is so personal and painful to watch in real-time because you can see it very plainly in Thane and you can tell he carries that generational trauma)

Carrying on: The ability to be vulnerable is not as important as the ability to show that you care, which can come from action or words, but usually, this means vulnerability and passion go hand in hand. Finally, homecoming is very important. Everyone is so scattered all over the galaxy, time together is time that counts. Bonding circles (An old tradition) have become “Bonds,” a colloquial name for annual family gatherings.

Read on Under The Cut <3

2. Food

Drell are born with a full set of teeth but they can’t be that tough yet. There must be specific dishes for each age to celebrate. That means as they age, softer meats-> harder foods are part of a traditional practice to track development! (Age 1 Birthday Food: Beetle Based Dish, so on till age 16/17)

Rakhana Diet: I also think that on Rakhana insects would have been popular! Because it’s an arid world and it would have been a very nutritious and accessible source of protein. It also strikes me that their recipes may have been very paste-based because it’s an easy way to flavor things when food is scarce! Also, paste flavoring like sambal (spicy chili). Other Foods:

Eggs? Eggs. It’s just a lizard thing but also! Really simple and easy to make.

Desert fruit! Water-based fruits that are similar to cantaloupe and citrusy things like calamansi.

On Kahje: Their diet must have to shift, so lucky they’re omnivorous.

Probably fish. Likely the main source of protein there.

This is off topic but I think that eating kelp runs as a joke for Drell on Kahje because of the similarities between their colors and striping. I don’t know what kind of joke. But I wonder if Drell teens will order fried kelp and point at each other like “cannibal”

Sauce…………. Dark sauces…...

You can tell the difference between a Kahje Drell and a Rakhana Drell (If they are still in existence? Most likely but very hard to find) based on their fish opinions

Raw fish consumption is normal on Kahje but Drell are not technically “built” for that diet so they may get sick with overconsumption! It must be well cooked to avoid illness.

3. Music

There's a natural inclination to communicate verbally due to their distinct biology.

Drell anatomy (throat) allows for unique sounds and trills

Highly present in language and utilized in music (On Rhakana there were probably dialects that incorporated certain clicks and trills as part of the “alphabet” just like irl, but I imagine those that can still speak it are very limited and it must be passed down or retaught through preservation efforts)

Rhythmic dance and music to tell stories and legends! Especially of great creatures that transcended into infamy. Like a big old serpent that through storytelling became a mythical dragon type of thing.

Clothing/Robes, loose-fitting and comfortable to work in Arid environments and allow for movement (tight ass clothes not the norm ashdjfk esp for dancing, Thane’s just a career man who thinks he looks good and he lived on Kahje so--)

4. Customs

The Pursuit of Life a.k.a Perah (I made this term up)

It's a cultural value centered around making the most of life through boldness. Seizing the moment because not every Drell gets the opportunity to call their life their own— this is in reference to both the compact and the death of Rakhana. Therefore if you ARE lucky enough to have ownership over your own life, you must not squander it. There are a number of purposeful benefits to Perah, such as:

Leading Drell off of Kahje (avoiding Kepral’s)

Giving Drell an “Adventurous” reputation due to far journeying and mixed work

A lot of Drell are able to form community ties outside of the home due to this norm! Because a lot of them have long and wide and journeys across the galaxy to share with each other and cultural commonality, they have an immediate kinship with each Drell they meet.

Puppetry/Masks

The Drell face is shaped like a mask so it only makes me think there must be culture-specific dances or plays utilizing masks in order to tell traditional stories and celebrate moments of life

There seems to be a lot of reverence and appreciation for the different and diverse, including animals and other species, leading me to believe that there are masks based on different creatures!

5. Hanar Intervention

Loss of Population: Effects

Destruction of the family unit, disjointed/fractured because of the Compact and limited living space on Kahje

Death of Rakhana leaving entire generations and specific regions behind, permanent severing between sects of Drell society

That means the inability to read certain texts as well as languages dying off between generations.

The disappearance of traditions, including many religions

Loss of understanding of Drell language and terminology

A.N: Thane is a rare case with access to high reading material and close ties to “hidden” communities/pockets of people; Most Drell do not know the meaning of Siha due to Hanar assimilating via Enkindlers

Most also do not know about traditional religion! I imagine these pockets must be so small. Thane probably had to work very hard to recover this knowledge which goes to show his complex relationship with his heritage.

It’s likely that there are factions of Drell who attempt to preserve and celebrate their culture despite being uprooted.

Possible rebellions/isolationists who reject the Compact which has mixed reactions by the majority of Drell community, not limited to shunning and disownment (:/ bc these things are sadly complicated)

A.N: Thane comments that it's an honor to fulfill the compact, which naturally implies it's shame to reject it. Let your imagination on the consequences of that rejection sink in.

A misconception is that Drell like to adopt whatever culture they live in but it's more like most of them lack the access to return and reclaim their own roots or have been shamed out of it

#WEEE #that was fun #meta #mass effect #drell #hanar #thane krios #long post

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therealvinelle · 3 years

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Hey,

What do you think the impact of being brought up as vegan would be on a vampire? I mean if you’re non vegetarian then it stands to reason that killing for food is normal (and humans are food for vampires) but if you’re raised to believe killing animals for sustenance to be a sin would that affect you when you turn? It doesn’t seem very likely with the way vampires act in Twilight where it seems empathy, for humans specifically, was just lost during transition (Carlisle seems to be an exception), but maybe it would?

I’m the person who asked the vegan thing.

I just realized that being raised vegan means that food was food to you so it really wouldn’t affect your diet much as a vampire. Humans were not acceptable to for both vegans and non-vegans but they both would probably end up eating them anyways as a vampire.

But what about people who changed from eating meat to abstaining because they grew up eating it and somewhere along the way realized that they were killing for it and decided to stop. In this case, the family and friends of this person were okay with meat but they decided to stop for the animals’ sake instead of a social norm. Would this kind of person be more likely to go for the vegetarian vampire diet because of their card for humans as well? How much of their personality would remain that they could still care about humans?

This here touches upon why Twilight vampires eat people in the first place.

Before I get into that, though, I feel I should point out that what people eat a is not so easily divided morally as vegans = recognize life has worth, vs. omnivores = don’t. Factors such as culture, income, class, social environment, education, health, politics, and priorities all play a part. There’s a reason why your average young and urban female college student is much more likely to be vegan than a rural male seventy-year-old factory worker, and it has nothing to do with an inherent sense of morality. Even then, someone could become a vegan for reasons that have nothing to do with animal welfare, such as protecting the planet, a special diet, or sustaining a superiority complex (this last category will of course never admit that that’s the real reason and you should unfriend them on facebook if you don’t want your timeline to be filled with guilt-tripping photos of smoking factory pipes and sad-looking cows).

But you weren’t asking about that, you were asking about vampires.

So, when a vampire wakes up, they are faced with this unbearable thirst. It’s different for everyone, or at least they describe it differently, but the whole point of this thirst is that it’s strong enough that you have to actively hold yourself back, at great pains, to keep from killing people over it. Some vampires, when especially hungry (newborn Carlisle when a herd of deer ran by) or confronted with a particularly delicious scent (Emmet when he met his singers) or just when caught off guard (Jasper at Bella’s birthday party), appear to lose their senses altogether.

Choice doesn’t really factor in it, not when you’re a newborn, and not really later on either.

Even if it did, we know that creating a vampire requires tremendous effort. There are two vampires I know of that were accidents, Carlisle and Garret. The vast majority of vampires were created as a conscious decision, and even if they weren’t, the Volturi have a law that Thou shalt not abandon thy newborn. And so this paragraph finally gets to its point: most newborns wake up with their creators nearby. And their creator will take them hunting, at a time when they’re not yet able to resist.

And so you have these people who wake up in completely new and foreign circumstances, their bodies not their own any longer, with this unbearable, constant pain in their throats they can’t escape. They can’t sleep, they can’t eat something else, they can’t tune it out with drugs. There is no reprieve. And yes, it does get better - but in those first few fateful months, they’re pretty much forced to kill people.

Carlisle was the exception, and while I don’t wish to lessen the incredible willpower and humanity he displayed when he resisted his thirst, he was in a unique situation that allowed it. His creator wasn’t there to force him to feed, he already knew what vampires were and as such was repulsed by his own nature, and he was sequestered away in a potato cellar, and therefore not in immediate proximity to humans. What he did was still incredible, but the circumstances allowed him to do it in the first place. Every other man-eating vampire in canon was not so lucky.

My point being, for newborn vampires eating people can’t really be called a choice.

Even as vampires learn control, I imagine the choice to continue eating people is a mix of several factors. In bullet points:

Sunk cost fallacy They’ve already eaten so many humans, why stop now? If there’s a heaven or a hell, they know which one they’re going to. Might as well get a good ride.

Humans aren’t people Vampires in Twilight are dismissive of humans more often than they’re not, often expressing surprise, incomprehension, or disgust at Edward falling for one. And I see why they would: it’s a coping mechanism, for starters, to stop seeing the people you’re tearing apart on a weekly basis as someone with thoughts and feelings. It’d be hard not to, when every interaction with a human is spent having to actively fight the urge to eat them. Men struggle enough with seeing women as people because we have boobs, vampires are the extreme version of that. More, a vampire’s human memories are fading, and what they do remember was so blurry and dull. With the sharpened and enhanced nature of the vampire, being endowed with vampirism will seem like more. Which makes humans less. (Relevant meta)

Blood is hard to resist The thirst is a huge problem. Even as vampires get better at controlling themselves, few of them seem to be particularly good at it. Keep in mind that the Cullens are all training to get to Carlisle’s level, they’re not representative of your average vampire. Most will fail when trying to create a new vampire, and they all balk at Carlisle being unbothered by blood.

Blood tastes amazing Siobhan’s reaction when she learns Carlisle has created a vampire of his own is, verbatim, “how tragic - to be deprived of the greatest joy in life.” (Midnight Sun, page I’m-not-sure) And I can’t blame her for it - blood puts out the fire in her throat, and is the single greatest pleasure in the world. Jasper, Emmet, and Rosalie all agree that it’s the thing a vampire craves more than anything. And living a meandering life where there are no milestones, no community, no home, no deeper meaning to anything, the intense pleasure of drinking human blood becomes the only constant and the only thing they have to truly live for and enjoy.

Then you have the fact that most of them have no idea that animals are an option. By the time they find out there’s a door number two, they’ve successfully dehumanized humans, have nothing else in life and the sunk cost fallacy is sky high. More, Carlisle is a crazy monk asking them to forgo their reason for living to go eat dishwater and be malnourished instead, all so that the mayfly humans can go die of consumption instead. I can see why they said “...no?”.

So, yes, Twilight vampires are terrifying demons who turn into psychopaths. But I can’t in good consciousness hate them for it, because they don’t really get a choice in the matter. Their very nature is designed specifically to turn them into this. Carlisle is a freak who makes everyone else look bad.

In other words, vegans are just as susceptible as others to becoming serial killers. If anything, vegans would eat those filthy meat-eaters to save the planet.

#i don't hate vegans #but they're such low hanging targets for making fun of #twilight vampires #twilight worldbuilding #long post #carlisle cullen #twilight vegetarianism #Anonymous #ask

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hazel2468 · 2 years

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Continuing my tradition of “I have had so many shitty doctors so I will rave about every good experience I have”-

I had to go see a gastroenterologist this week. Stomach doctor. I’ve been having issues with my gallbladder (I would NOT recommend having a gallbladder attack, -10000/10, horrible experience) and I was diagnosed with gallstones. So, I went to him to see if I’m going to need surgery.

The good news- he isn’t rushing me to surgery. Which the hospital wanted to do, apparently. The surgeon on staff saw a fat woman with gallstones and instantly jumped to “let’s take it out” which... He’s a surgeon. They cut things out of people for a living so I’m not too peeved about his assessment. But I decided to get a second opinion, and boy am I glad I did.

My new doctor. Did not ONCE. Mention my weight. He was friendly, he asked me for MY input, he actually asked me questions about my diet instead of making assumptions. And, the kicker? He fucking BELIEVED ME when I told him that I cut out basically all fast foods a couple of years ago because they made me feel sick. The last doctor I said that to looked at me, gave me a once-over, and said “Uh huh... Sure.” He told me that it makes sense that I did that, since my issues mean that fast food WOULD make me feel sick, and did anyone ever pick up on that before? (of course not)

The discussion about my diet? Was NOT centered on “Oh, this will help you lose weight.” I was worried about that, since every single fucking thing I’ve read about gallstones is like “Oh, and eating better will help you lose weight!” which is BS and also not the point. But nope- his focus was entirely on “I don’t want to have to recommend surgery, since you’ve only had one attack and you’re not having constant symptoms, so let’s focus on helping you avoid another attack”. Which was immensely useful. He instructed me to gradually re-introduce all the stuff I was eating back into my diet, give the poor little gallbladder a chance to chill out. I can go back to red meats. And just avoid what I was already avoiding, and maybe a bit more strictly.

No moralizing. No lecture about “good” and “bad” food. Even the way that he discussed my option of surgery was nice- he stated that some people cannot restrict their diet or don’t want to, and in that case he would recommend it to help them get back to eating whatever they want. Very much an “I am here to help you lead the life you want to lead, not to judge your choices” approach. He also suggest I get tested for something which no one else has ever suggested, but which might explain some of my ongoing kinda-chronic stomach issues, so that’s awesome, too.

Tl;Dr- have a new stomach doctor who is respectful, is focusing on treating the actual problem instead of fussing over my size, and who I think is actually going to help me, whether I end up needing surgery in the future or not.

And remember- you ALWAYS deserve to be treated with respect at the doctor. You ALWAYS deserve to have your concerns addressed and to be treated with dignity, like a whole person. Any doctor who dismisses your concerns or focuses on your weight and ignores other factors is not a good doctor, nor one you should keep seeing.

#medical mention #personal #medical fatphobia #or lack thereof in this case #good doctor experience

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sorenskyhigh · 3 years

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What Pet I Think They'd Have and Why: Karasuno Edition

Daichi Sawamura

Of course he'd have a police dog

He's a cop and if he'd have any pet he'd have a buddy to help him bust criminals and fight crime

But I don't think Daichi would have a "normal" dog breed like a German Shepherd, Malinois, or Akita

I feel like Daichi would have a Rottweiler not bc they are my favorite dog breed

But Rottweilers used to be very prevalent in many police forces around the world until German Shepard and Malinois became more common

Also Rottweilers gained a harsh reputation for being aggressive bc they were trained by drug lords and criminals and were used to in fighting

Rottweilers are very muscular, sturdy, and hard working dogs

If trained right and with proper love and care these dogs are GREAT and I mean GREAT companions

They are stubborn and can be territorial with strangers, but, they are very loving towards familiars and family

They are a kind of one or two people fits them kind of dog

They also need constant stimulus as they were breed to be very hardworking dogs

Rottweilers used to pull sleds full of butchered meat bc they were so strong and the original breed was much bigger than the one we know today

They also herded large livestock through the alps and Roman region and are known to be fearless

They are also one of the oldest dog breeds

These dogs became popular Police dogs during the World Wars

Bc they were being used so much their guardian qualities were more showcased so more and more people wanted one to help keep and eye on their children

Since they are herding dogs they are good around children and can keep them in a yard if they are taught the parameters

Rottweilers despite their size generally don't bark a lot either, they are very sneaky when approaching a possible threat and will ppun e from behind

This is why I think Daichi would have one to be by his side

I feel like Daichi would do a lot of research into a good companion and finding a good breeder to find one after deciding

He'd get one as a puppy and personally see to it's training, working with a pro the whole time

His dog would also be a great family protector when he's home with his spouse and possible children, if he ends up having any

Koushi Sugawara

I feel like Koushi would be that really awesome teacher that has a really sweet and sociable pet that he brings in for the kids a lot

I feel Koushi would want soemthing small and cute so a rabbit of some sort would suit him well

Rabbits can be very loving with a small family most of the time or sometimes only one person

Rabbits are prey animals so some breeds wouldn't do well in a loud room full of young children

So what specific rabbit breed would suit his job?

So I chose the Harlequin Rabbit for Koushi

Harlequin rabbits are very social and loving towards owners and strangers alike

They also are known to be very silly, playful and very intelligent

They come in two colour types: Japanese and Magpie

The picture above is an example of Japanese while a Magpie can be colored in just about any other colour other than black nd orange like lilac, white, chocolate, blue and/or black

I feel like this specific type of rabbit would suit him so well as it would be comfortable around all those kids

Be very social and would be less likely to nip them

And it would be energetic enough to keep up with the kids

Koushi wouldn't just want a pet for his classroom though, he'd want a cuddle buddy for at home

He'd want a companion to sit on his lap while he works on lessons

He'd also want a pet that wasn't too lazy as his life would be pretty busy

The only thing is is that rabbits are high maintenance and need very specific foods, medicines, and an experienced vet to care for them

But rabbits are cuddly little crackheads that Koushi would adore

Energetic enough to keep up with his life, but snuggly and home bodied enough to not exhaust him

Asahi Azumane

Asahi is a fashion designer and thus would spend a lot of time hunched over a sketch book making designs

In other words, he has a very home based and indoor job

So he'd need a pet that isn't energetic and obnoxious like a husky or chihuahua

So I chose the Havanese

Havanese is the national dog of Cuba

This dog may be small but they are incredibly sturdy

These dogs become attached quickly and are extremely loyal to said lone owner

Something else that is good for Asahi is these dogs do not do good alone and are willing to follow their owners to the ends of the Earth

They can be described as velcro dogs bc of how attach to the hip with their owners they are

These dogs can be lively and active but they don't need much exercise as they are smaller

Most of their daily exercise can be met in a house with some light play

Also, these dogs are extremely friendly towards strangers and can be described as good host dogs

Another plus for Asahi about this breed is they aren't particularly vocal, most are rather quiet and reserved almost

The last thing you'd want is for people to look down on you for letting your pet act spoiled by barking and nipping at people's ankles

They also love to perform for others

They like attention and are good in groups

Asahi would have to meet with a lot of new people like models and companies and whatnot so a social dog would be best

Asahi also would spend a lot of time in an office or at home and since these dogs don't need much exercise he would be able to have it sleep on his lap while he works without disturbance

I also feel like Asahi would become a bit of a hermit

Like he would contact people but he wouldn't leave his house unless he absolutely had to or wanted to (which isn't often)

Havanese are home-bodied dogs and love just chillin' out on a warm lap or on a couch cushion beside their owners

Yū Nishinoya

Now I DO NOT think Noya should have a pet until he decides to settle down somewhere

Travel can really exhaust a person so it would harm an animal tenfold

So, if you travel a lot DO NOT GET A PET IT WILL ONLY HARM THEM

But if Yū were to have a pet.............................

Noya would need a pet that can travel well, is small enough to not cost a lot, is very attached to their owners, and can eat just about anything

I thought briefly of other rodents since rodents are generally small and can eat just about any food

But raccoons, possums, and other larger rodents that are more common for pets would be too hard to get on planes and boats since you need certification to own them

Rats on the other hand don't need such certifications in most countries and fill all the other requirements

The rat he would have isn't a Dumbo rat like in the picture above, he'd have like a wild rat that he befriended and decided to take with him so it'd most like be brown

Noya would 100% fight anyone who says they hate rats

He hypes up his pet rat to no end

He calls Asahi whenever he can and tells him about all the cool stuff his rat does and sends pictures of his rat being held up to a gorgeous background of famous landmarks in other countries

Nlya always has his rat around the back of his neck and wears a hoodie, scarf, or something like that to hide him so he can join Noya in places that don't allow pets

I also chose a rat bc they are incredibly loyal and I feel like if Noya were to be really tired on a plane and pass out, he would need a pet that he wouldn't have to worry about running away

Of course he has trained his rat to do amazing tricks, you already know

Also, as I previously mentioned, rats can eat just about anything, so his constant travel wouldn't hurt his companion diet

Rats are also quiet generally and aren't overly energetic so he wouldn't have to be worried about being escorted out for having a rat under his scarf

Chikara Ennoshita

Shibas are very independent dog, let's just start with that bc Chikara would need a pet that doesn't need constant attention

With him being a personal trainer he needs a pet that can self entertain

Something else about Shibas is they can often housebreak themselves bc of how fussy and finicky they are

You can also find them cleaning themselves much like a cat

Chikara would be busy for a good bit of his time so he doesn't really have time to properly spend time to housebreak a pet

But Shibas were originally bred to hunt and flush out game like birds and rabbits and other such small animals

A fact about Shibas is they almost went extinct during WWII bc of food shortages a distemper

Distemper is a disease only animals can be affected by that attacks many different systems in their bodies

Also, Shibas are the number one most common companion dog in Japan

Something else about Shibas is that they are fairly healthy, some of the more major problems they have are glaucoma, cataracts, hip dysplasia, entropion, and luxating patella

A lot of eye conditions but are easily avoided if you bring them in for very periodic eye checks and hip examinations

So these are easy to avoid as long you keep an eye on them

Over all I think that if Chikara were to have a pet it would need to be fairly self-sufficient but also something could have a very chill and laid back relationship with

Something that doesn't need to be on his lap all the time but something he can love and nurture

Kiyoko Shimizu & Ryūnoske Tanaka

Now I know I know

Ryu would be a dog person

He'd want a big manly pet not a cat blah blah blah

Kiyoko would definitely be a cat person

She wouldn't want a purebred and would probably find a box of some kittens with Ryu on the side of the sidewalk

Now look me in the eye and lie to me by saying that Ryu would now start crying immediately upon seeing like four lonely little kittens in a box that need a home

Needless to say, they take them home and nurture them endlessly

But Tanaka would be the kind of guy that harness trains his cats so they can go out on walks

Kiyoko would research how to harness train them, what food would be the best, and anything else they need to take care of these four cats

Imagine seeing these two, a big muscular dude and this goddess walking four cats on harnesses down the street

I literally cannot stop thinking about Ryu and Kiyoko cuddling on the couch with all four adult and rather large cats draping themselves across the two of them

I feel like the reason Ryu would want them harness trained is bc he wouldn't be able to spend much time with them

His job as a personal trainer would keep him busy

So on his morning jogs to stay fit he'd want to take not only Kiyoko but the cats as well

I plan on making more parts to this, I hope you enjoy it 😉

@popcorntime-doodles @multifandombrainrot @kneecapstealingalien @akabxne @jiheonity @weareallhumans123 @smallmangi @canadian-crow @just-jellyfish @immiamarais @i-need-coffee-now-pls @foreveryoung050 @kuroos-world @luminasapphire @silverfire6 @shadowsbutdead @ghostexhibit @simpfornishinoya @goshikisimp @anothershadeofpink @mestayanon @japoga @all-around-fandoms31 @thatfunnysprout @myyeetfelloff @itsallgonnabokayihope @g00s3 @boreateo @mirrorballmyfave @backalley-astrologer @vaniatslover @lil-mellow-bunbun @strawberrymakki @theforbiddenrealm-blog @beelziee @mehreenlol

#haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu!!#daichi sawamura #sugawara koushi #asahi azumane #yu nishinoya #ennoshita chikara #kiyoko shimizu #tanaka ryuunosuke #daichi headcanon #suga headcanons #asahi headcanons #nishinoya headcanons #ennoshita headcanons #kiyoko headcanons #tanaka headcanons

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hualianff · 3 years

Text

Fire On Fire

Thinking about a shapeshifter AU where predators and the prey are segregated via borders. The prey inhabit lands with better resources and environment while the predators reside in areas with harsh weather conditions and animals that did not evolve into shapeshifters for them to hunt.

The council of ancestors that determined these borders consisted of both prey and predator representatives, as every species lived in harmony during this time. But because the populations were rising at an incredibly high rate, establishing official borders seemed to be the next viable step.

The council granted the prey lands where the sun shines and the crops flourish because those were the best conditions for their kinds to survive. Despite the predators being pushed to the areas with fewer domestic resources, the council had hoped they would maintain amicable relationships with the prey, to trade or ask for help when they needed.

This arrangement worked up until the last ancestor from the council passed away.

After this, history became histories.

The prey gradually painted predators as selfish creatures, greedy for more than the lands they were assigned. Prey are also taught that though predators worked with them in the past, their selfish and violent nature couldn’t be contained. That’s why predators were assigned lands far away in obscure places: to protect the prey from their advances.

(Only a few select predators were allowed within the prey walls. This is after an extensive background check, an adjusted diet, and constant monitoring.)

The predator society claims that the predator ancestors were tricked into a deal where they received the less desirable portions of lands. When the predators tried to re-negotiate, the prey marked them as aggressors, chalking it up to their predator nature. Thus, the prey began mobilizing and alienated predators, further promoting the injustice against predators beginning from their ancestors.

Centuries passed by; the divide only widened.

Within the last few years, the predators have been taking action to conquer over prey lands and resources si their species have been suffering from food shortages, harsh winters, lack of water, etc., for centuries. Predators have been training their warriors to use their predator senses and weapons to the best of their abilities in order to capture the prey villages on the outskirts of the prey borders.

In retaliation, the prey have been amassing weapons and machinery to combat the predators’ war tactics.

It’s a steady build-up to one huge battle.

XL’s village, one of the oldest and wealthiest outside of the inner-city, was invaded and burned down. XL himself barely escaped, chased by a pack of wolves that separated him from his friends and family.

Driven to and across predator borders, XL is starved and heavily injured from the altercation with enemy predators that last over a week. They catch up to his scent one last time, circling him and about to finish him off as XL cowers in weasel form.

Then, a massive body swoops in, roaring ferociously as he takes a swipe at the biggest wolf. HC, in his tiger form, intercepts the wolves who have brought disorder to his territory.

As a tiger, HC is considered a wild breed, the most dangerous to society. Prey are especially wary about wild breeds at the top of the food chain, including wolves, tigers, lions, foxes, etc.

However, HC is a rogue predator who isn’t on the predator or prey’s side. His territory is officially neutral ground.

After finishing off the wolves, HC turns to the albino weasel who lies pitifully on the ground. The weasel has passed out from exhaustion, hunger, and pain–nearly on his last legs. HC doesn't hesitate to gather the trembling body up in his jaws and sprint back to safety.

HC brings XL into his home to heal him, shelter him, and feed him back to health.

The tiger shapeshifter is indifferent at first. He doesn’t desire to be a savior out of the goodness of his heart. But he’s very much aware of how scared the little weasel must be after being persuaded by a band of hungry wolves.

The weasel probably views HC as the same type of merciless monster.

Yet, HC doesn’t want to be feared by those who mean him no harm. While he’s not the most approachable shifter, he is by no means hostile without reason.

For the first two weeks, XL stays in his weasel form. Being in one’s most primal state brings the most comfort and instinctual security.

Cue HC being ever so gentle while tending to the weasel’s wounds and sliding a bowl of food to the shaking weasel. HC speaks slowly and makes no fast movements. He gives XL his space and promises he only intends to help XL heal back to health.

The third week, HC walks into his small living room to see, instead of a small s weasel on a pillow, a human form resting on his couch, long hair curtaining his face.

A confused chuff makes it past HC’s lips without his permission.

(XL, waking up and freezing once making eye contact with HC: 😳🥺😰

HC, surprised at himself for reacting in such a way he couldn’t control, lowkey embarrassed: *turns around and strides into the kitchen*)

Over the next few months, XL continues his road to recovery, but he becomes comfortable enough to be in human form and hold conversations with HC. He soon learns how HC was raised outside of a predator civilization, meaning his ideals are completely different.

HC doesn’t eat prey shifters or kill for joy like many predators are known to do. During his childhood, HC’s mother taught him how to scavenge for food and distinguish which fruits were and were not poisonous.

(“I’m what many predators refer to as a ‘plant-mouth,’” HC mentions with a chuckle. “I eat fruits and vegetables like prey instead of mostly meat.”

“Fruits and vegetables are delicious. They’re missing out,” XL states light-heartedly. HC nods, strands of long hair falling over his shoulder.

“They also don’t have the best environment to grow crops. Up until a few years ago, I didn’t either. Under severe circumstances, I’ve had to survive off of shifters—predator and prey alike,” HC says solemnly, a storm clouding in his mismatched eyes. XL falls quiet after that, wondering just how much HC has gone through on his own in predator territory.

“Forgive me. I didn’t mean to talk about...that so casually,” HC immediately apologies, assuming XL was on edge about the topic of eating shifters. XL shakes his head, reaching over to place a placating hand on HC’s. The tiger shapeshifter’s eyes widen, zeroing in on their touching hands.

“It’s okay. I’m in no place to judge,” XL says, his expression sincere. “I suppose I’ve been quite privileged and sheltered all my life. Talking about the challenges you have faced helps me understand your experiences. Perhaps, in the future, if everyone listened to each other without jumping to conclusions, the world could be a safer and more equal place, regardless if you are predator or prey.”

“Perhaps. It would take a great deal of effort and empathy, though,” HC says with a hint of bitterness, pursing his lips.

XL exhales heavily. “Indeed, it would.”

HC turns his hand upward, connecting their warm palms, calloused skin against bruised skin.)

(II)

#tgcf #heaven official's blessing #hualian #hualian au #xie lian #hua cheng #cerdrabbles #sorry for starting new AUs i promise the other ones are planned i just need to write them out #tiger HC #weasel XL #think about why XL is prey ;)#I definitely made up the term: albino weasel

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philosophicalparadox · 3 years

Text

Dark Headcannons for the Demon Bois, part 1: predatory and dietary habits that are horrifying

You know what, I'm in a hard place right now so I'm going to try to elevate my mood by writing horror HC's because I desperately need to unclutter my brain so here it goes:

Mephisto/Samael

Is a viper, and functions as one.

Is venomous, and has highly hematoxic and mildly neurotoxic venom that causes massive internal bleeding and a sense of drunkenness. Kills humans in about 15 minutes up to two hours, depending on metabolism and level of invenomation. He has limited control of the amount of venom produced since he has no hollow fangs and doesn't inject the venom directly. Kissing him can turn into a kiss of death very quickly if he wants it to or if you're careless.

He uses camoflauge. His entire wardrobe is a bizarre form of blending in by standing out. Predators usually try to make themselves as inconspicuous as possible. He takes advantage of this assumption by being very noticeable, giving his human onlookers a false sense of security. No predator would willingly draw that much attention to themselves, right? Again it's like a hyena - let all the prey know you're there and let them think they're prepared, and then wait for one to drop their guard and attack them from behind.

Alternately, bait them with a lure. Sex is a go-to and tried and true method for this. I suspect he takes a certain pride in eating succubi. They are after all usually the ones to be doing the eating.

Also viperish are his self defense mechanisms, but thats a post for another day

He is designed to be a Human predator, fundamentally. Humans are a prey species that requires a certain amount of specialization, so not many demons actually eat them except opportunistically. Samael is not one of them. His physiology and psyche are designed to prey on humans and human-like things. That being said, humans alone aren't terribly high a energy food source, and for a big demon, that is a big problem. That combined with the Vatican means most of what he eats prey wise are other demons. And half demons.

Samael in mythology was known for eating children. I suspect that the reason Samael has no or very few Nephilim is because he kills and devours them all, in effect re-absorbing any of his transferred power. It is too dangerous to have more than one of himself after all.

Many of his self defense mechanisms are also viperish but thats a post for another day.

Unlike Amaimon, Samael can not eat or digest carrion. He can manage to choke down something a human would get sick from but only because he has a few centuries of antibodies at least.

Amaimon

Kinda already did this but Amaimon is basically a hyena and a komodo dragon combined. He will gladly eat bones and rotten corpses. Including perhaps Naberius and other kin of Rot.

When hunting, Amaimon is a truly terrifying persistence predator. He isn't "fast" in long chases but he is strong and has a lot of stamina. He also has the sense of smell to track for a long long ways.

Being reptilian, Amaimon has an enormous appetite but a slow metabolism. He can go days between meals and then binge on whatever is there.

Amaimon is not venomous - he hardly needs to be, preferring to crush and maim prey to slow it down - but he DOES have intensely caustic stomach acid, which he can regurgitate to severely burn attackers or well armoured prey alike.

Due to his diet of dead things and life in the soil, Amaimon is a carrier of some pretty nasty bacteria in both his mouth and his innards. His saliva and fecal matter are biohazards to most humans.

Lucifer

Lucifer is a quintessential omnivore, akin to a bear or a skunk. Fruit, root vegetables, greens, and opportunistic protein.

Due to his body being in a constant disarray and the status of his intestines being dubious at any given time, Lucifer prefers simple protein sources - fish, legumes, rabbit, chicken - because they're easier to digest.

Also due to his bodily issues, he is one of few among his siblings that really couldn't survive without cooked food. Especially meat. Anything that makes digestion harder is something he can, and has to, live without.

Lucifer does not lack predatory instincts, but he has to be in a real state of desperation to act on them impulsively. That said, he functions perfectly well on his own in a solitary survival situation and has no reason to be remorseful about what he has to kill for his food. Or how he has to kill it.

Which brings me to an interesting point - tool use. Lucifer is fascinated by mechanical things and likes to create and build and do things with his hands. As a result, if he does hunt for prey, in a situation demanding it, he does so with traps and tricks and weapons of his own making.

Egyn

Egyn is very shark like and as such is mostly a carnivore, eating a lot of fish and bivalves - but he also LOVES fatty meats like beef and pork.

He thinks humans taste disgusting and they're too bony anyway, but he will bite if he is scared.

Egyn prefers soft foods that smell good. His sense of smell is his strongest sense, so if doesnt have an appealing odor he won't touch it.

Also has a slow metabolism but is not really as gluttonous as Amaimon.

Iblis

A firecracker that, like Lucifer, prefers food cooked.

Also an omnivore that likes carbs and proteins. High metabolism demands them.

Is not nearly as picky as Egyn or Lucifer but absolutely and passionately hates mushrooms or any other earthy tasting or bitter food.

Astaroth

Has the slowest metabolism of them all and rarely ever needs to eat. When he does, he greatly prefers to either leech (parasitic) or scavenge.

Leeching is done by way of mycellial contact. He is a very, very sneaky and silent predator that consumes the energy of his victims slowly and steadily, often knocking them unconscious with spores, or failing that, poisoning them with toxic mycelium themselves.

Despite the above, Astaroth rarely ever kills his victims. If he does so it's by accident (anaphylaxis) and he makes sure to "use" as much of their body as he can.

Whoo hoo that is a long post. Sorry for the Wall O Text but these ideas (most of which can be found in Savages as well) need to be freed unto the world.

#blue exorcist #ao no exorcist #mephisto pheles #lucifer #amaimon #astaroth #headcannons

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leam1983 · 3 years

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On Grief

This is a long one. You're under no obligation to push further if you don't want to. It's a personal post, so I'll more than understand if this isn't to your tastes. The normally-scheduled pedantry, commentary and memes will resume shortly.

One of my relatives was diagnosed with ALS. What started as an odd case of palsy in her left set of vocal cords that could've been far more benign was just confirmed by her referred physician. It's Lou Gherig's, and with her age and current condition, her prognosis is of three to five years, tops. Sure, Stephen Hawking blew his own prognosis out of the water, but a combination of notoriety and luck enabled him to eke out as much existence as medical tech could've possibly allowed.

We knew things were suspect when my aunt, a marathoner with a monthly sub to Runner's World, stopped running. Her food intake dropped like a stone, and she soon took to increasingly simple painting and drawing styles. At first we thought it was just her wanting to explore simpler rendering techniques, but then...

Then we noticed the twitching. How awkwardly her pens and brushes were set in her hands. She was in great shape and didn't mind living in the ass-end of Sutton, basically in the open country and with a path leading up to her front door that was all in rough cobblestones. She broke a hip against them, last year.

Her speech started to slur, lately. Her last bike trip also landed her in the ER. She doesn't bike anymore. She doesn't run, and being a gourmand by nature, feels obligated to restrain herself, for fear of gaining weight. She's aggressively vegan. Not towards others, but towards herself. No meat, no eggs, nothing. Most of us ovo-lactos and omnivores in the family know her constant snacking meant her seventy-plus body is desperate for energy.

From the look of things, it feels like the diagnosis broke through her bullshit reasoning for being vegan. She wasn't vegan for the sake of limiting her carbon footprint or making more responsible choices at the grocery store, but because she, as a lifelong anorexic, thought she was ugly and needed to lose weight. That's been a constant with her. Age catches up and skin sags? She mistakes it for a love handle, cuts out virtually all sources of protein and carbs safe for tofu, seitan and bean-based preps. Of course, like a lot of anorexics, she'd have bulemic episodes. I used to sleep over at her last bachelor pad, as a teen, and I remember her pantry was loaded up for bear with Danish cookie tins, Nutella jars and whipped cream. I remember she invited me over specifically when she intended to cheat. Then it was back to yoga, pot-smoking, meditation and shopping runs - and she probably kept her purging for when I was gone.

So yeah. I'm betting Belgian Asshole (see one of my previous posts) convinced her to break her vows and went looking for a "slice of authentic Tikka Masala", to quote his email. The entire family is made up of ethnic food diehards, so we spam-flooded his inbox with recommendations. Looks like she'll be eating meat again, soon. Her own email mentioned concerns of strength and stamina, so I get it.

Otherwise? We're gobsmacked. Imagine spending an entire weekday both at work and off work, aggressively goofing off because you're trying as hard as you can not to think of your favourite aunt's mention of assisted suicide as an option.

Three to five years. Maybe one, or two good Christmases. After that, her condition should probably have started to deteriorate quickly.

I'm not close with a ton of my own family. I love them all, but it's more a sense of polite respect than anything involving solid bonds. The only two folks I know I'll be devastated for when they'll die are her, and my youngest cousin on the other side of the family.

I'm mostly okay now. No doubts, no crisis of unbelief, no anger, no rage... But then I'll see her in a more diminished state, one of those days. How am I going to take to it?

Part of me keeps a tally of the deaths in the family. First, it was my uncle on my mother's side. Ruptured abdominal artery, with a leak small enough to pool into the gut's cavity for months. Decay settled in, guy got anesthetized for an intervention...

They didn't even bother sewing him back up.

Second one was my other paternal aunt's new husband. First one was great, but left the country in the seventies to go live in Stockholm with his medical assistant. Second one was a geologist and physicist at the same campus she taught as. French guy, the son of innkeepers four generations down. It showed, too. Our Christmas tables haven't been the same since he left us his recipie books, all his corny jokes on provincial eating habits, and his obstinate focus on turning every 25th of December into a Roman orgy probably befitting of the old Saturnalia traditions. I mean, when's the last time you've had an eight-course meal, outside of Thanksgiving?

Tumors in his mesenteric artery lined the blood vessel's inner walls, deposited virtually everywhere in his body. He was diagnosed in June and dead by August. He'd always been the lanky type, bone-thin even if he hoovered food like he'd never have enough. He looked even thinner in his hospital bed.

Then, my maternal grandpa bit it. Decades of casual alcoholism, cirrhosis more or less jumping on him around his seventy-sixth year. He looked a bit like John Keston, the actor who played Gehn in CyanWorlds' Riven. Same hairline, same hawkish nose, same eyes - just more Cajun and less New England-esque. I don't know if it was youth or stupidity or - anything, really, but I dropped by to see him, just two days before he died. I didn't realize he was tallying my life, asking me if I had everything in order, if things were planned.

Now, I understand.

Next one on the chopping block is Aunt Doris, still on Mom's side. She of the serial mooching, she of the concept of not needing much to get by if you were the cute one of the family. She was pretty enough in her prime, sure - if by pretty you meant "cigarette-butt blonde with a discount Farah Fawcett blow-up and an unfinished High School degree". First husband was an abusive ass who gave her an uncommonly sensitive son, second one figured she'd stick to the minimum-wage circuit while he tore out rotator cuffs or busted his C7 while on his outboard like clockwork. By the end, she roped my grandmother into living with her, spent her days sloppy-drunk and died on her ratty couch while falling asleep and choking on her own vomit.

Before them all, the youngest of my uncles died at age two. Cancer. Never knew which one, was told it didn't matter. You didn't survive much of anything cancerous, back in the late fifties.

Ping-pong this back to three years ago, and my oldest paternal uncle dies. Paul, who smoked like a chimney for most of his life and successfully stopped after discovering Champix. He got to live five great years as the high-IQ oddball he'd always been, smoke-free. Paul was the weird bird in the family, the type to remember a really engrossing story at two in the morning and making a note to call you up first thing in the morning to share it. He always had a project of some sort to work on, like a simulated investors' tank for young entrepreneurs looking to learn the ropes, or a Byzantine arrangement of coaxials allowing four of his lakeside neighbours to pirate his cable sub. He'd invite us over for dinner, gather all the ingredients we'd need for whatever it was he wanted to treat us to - and then he'd let us cook it - just sitting by the sidelines, chatting away.

He was also a bit of a narcoleptic, and looked a bit like William Howard Taft if you'd worked him out of these old sack suits and into modern shirts and suspenders. He fell asleep practically everywhere, with his more wakeful environments being his workshop and his property's dock. He took me out fishing, once, and knew what the entire family expected.

"Oars're here, Gremlin, fish're that way. Wake me up when you've got a bite."

At this point, it wasn't even a point of concern; it was just an Uncle Paul Thing, the exact thing you'd have expected out of this kind, eccentric blob of a man whose idea of fishing involved pushing his hat over his eyes and basically all but ensuring that his roaring snores would scare prey away. He'd been a supposedly high-IQ type, terminally bored with almost everything, only really getting agitated and interested back when I asked him for help for my Junior High Computer class's Javascript calculator. Once the syntax hit something familiar and he realized that JS has some similarities with FORTRAN, he was on a roll, acting like someone had snuck a Red Bull in his coffee.

Well, fibrosis caught up with him. His last hours were spent directing us on how to cook what would've been his last meal. I think he really just wanted to know we were alright, that we still could exchange laughs around the kitchen counter. He clocked out the way he always did, except he had an oxygen tube running under his nose. His head bobbed down, he snored loudly for a few minutes, then turned increasingly quiet...

And that was it.

And now there's Isabelle. The marathoner, my partner-in-crime when it comes to professing to have a healthy diet while occasionally cheating in glorious, weekend-defining means, my gateway to cannabis and also the first person who took my cringy self-insert fanfic fodder and went No, that's worth it! Push it, develop that universe of yours!

I wouldn't be almost two-thirds of the way through my first decent manuscript, if not for her, and I wouldn't be shopping for publishers with the same energy you'd reserve for weekend-grade Facebook putzing-about. I owe her part of my self-acceptance, and part of my discovery of what defines my routine to this day. Isabelle was my first meditation coach.

And in three to five years, she might be gone.

I just thought grief might be... noisier, is all. Louder. Right now, it's just germane to confusion, and it's sitting there. There's a pinch of fear in it, too. My parents are in their mid-sixties. How long do I have left with them?!

And the family and I just covered that up with jokes and, well, cooking. I've been told I'd make a half-decent therapist but - navigating your own emotions is hard work...

I don't know. I guess I needed to put this down somewhere.

#personal life #tw: cancer mention #tw: alcoholism mention #tw: death mentions #grief #coping

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bullyyourgayuncle · 4 years

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Bully Your Gay Uncle, A Series of Vignettes Concerning Steven Boxleitner, Becky Botsford, and the Ethics of Being a Jewish Man with a Mouse Brain Attached To Your Head

Becky isn’t quite sure how she’s related to Steven Boxleitner – her dad’s cousin’s wife’s brother, or something like that. It doesn’t really matter how they’re related - all that matters is that he’s the closest family the Botsfords have in the city, and that he discovers her secret early on. He becomes the only person she can trust with her secret for a long, long time.

Becky loves her Uncle Steven. How many kids can brag about their multiple-doctorates uncle? Some of her classmates don’t understand exactly how smart he is, but all Becky has to do is describe the contraptions in his lab to capture her friends’ attention.

Uncle Steven isn’t just smart – he’s also one of the nicest people Becky knows, and he cares about her as if she were his own daughter. His one flaw is his airheadedness, and it’s a forgivable sin. He’s Becky’s favorite uncle by far, and the Botsfords invite him over just as often as they drop Becky off at his lab when they have a date night or have to go shopping with T.J.

Then, of course, the accident happens, and things change.

Becky can’t even look at her Uncle Steven after first putting him in jail, much less speak to him. She doesn’t know what to think. Her parents don’t know that he’s changed, and she feigns illnesses every time they discuss dropping her off at his home. They don’t find out he’s been put in jail until he calls a month after and tells them he’s been released.

“So, yeah, feel free to drop Becky off whenever you need to,” he rambles in that strange, new, higher-pitched voice of his. “Sorry about all this.”

Tim Botsford frowns, and calls his wife over to discuss the situation.

“I don’t know about leaving Becky alone with a criminal,” he says in the same innocuous tone he says nearly everything in. Becky pretends not to listen to the conversation, but she can’t help herself. Her mom sighs.

“He’s not really a criminal,” she wheedles. “He was arrested for cheese crime. That’s about as criminal as a parking violation.”

“I still don’t think it sets a very good example for the kids,” Tim says.

Sally sighs. “Let’s sleep on it. I’m sure it’ll be easier to decide in the morning.”

Becky goes to sleep, hoping that the adults can solve the problems for once.

——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———

Two-Brains regresses into a bad uncle before he becomes a good uncle again. He knows he’s being a bad person, but he can’t bring himself to care for a while. All that matters is cheese.

Becky captures him and hands him over to the sheriff, and he’s cognizant enough to realize she’s incredibly upset. He sits behind bars for his given time before his release, and then he visits his rabbi.

Rabbi Donenberg barely bats an eye when he strolls in. “I had a feeling you’d be here soon enough.”

“No ‘welcome back?’” He grouses. His mood is exponentially worse than it was as Steven, and the mouse brain is still aching for cheese. Rabbi Donenberg shrugs.

“How are you, Steven?” she asks.

“Not Steven, Dr. Two-Brains,” he snaps. “Steven’s not here right now.”

Rabbi Donenberg hums to herself. “Alright, Dr. Two-Brains. What do you need help with?”

Despite himself, he hesitates. “I don’t think my niece likes me very much anymore.”

“Can you think of anything that may have caused this change?” Rabbi Donenberg asks dryly.

“I came to you for help,” he says, scowling.

The rabbi shrugs. “Have you talked to your niece since the incident?”

“...yes?” It's not a lie.

“Are you not sure?” Rabbi Donenberg asks.

Two-Brains makes a “feh” noise and shrugs. He’d been confronted by Wordgirl. He wasn’t sure if that counted as talking it out with his niece.

Tell her Becky is Wordgirl! the mouse brain yells. It had been a near-constant thought in Two-Brains’ mind since he acquired the pesky thing.

I will not do that, he thinks back crossly. Be quiet.

Cheese! Now!

Two-Brains pulls a piece of cheese out of his lab coat pocket and eats it. Rabbi Donenberg watches him do so, her eyes flitting between the cheese and the mouse brain.

“So you have or have not spoken with your niece?” she asks.

“Sort of?” Two-Brains answers. “We’ve met. We haven’t really talked.” Again, not quite a lie.

“You know, I may not have any PhDs, but I’m not an idiot. You are a poor liar,” Rabbi Donenberg says.

“I’m decently wealthy, actually,” Dr. Two-Brains quips. “You would think the college would fire me after the accident, but I’ve got tenure, and–”

“Now you’re just avoiding the subject,” Rabbi Donenberg sighs. “My suggestion is that you actually talk to her. She’s about ten, right?”

“Yeah.”

“She’s going to be going through a tough time soon enough anyway, and she doesn’t need to be worrying about you on top of that,” she says. “Reassure her that you’re there for her, despite your – um, condition –”

“You’re referring to the evil mouse brain I fused to myself, correct? Just to be clear.”

“Yes, Steven –”

“Dr. Two-Brains!”

“Dr. Two-Brains,” Rabbi Donenberg corrects, rubbing her temples. “Just be there for her, the best you can. Reassure her you won’t hurt her, and that you still love her, and that none of this is her fault.”

Two-Brains leaves feeling more guilty than he did when he arrived.

——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———

Becky – Wordgirl, rather – pulls him into the hallway by his arm, and glares at him. She says nothing, so he takes initiative and speaks first.

“Hey, Becky,” he says, smiling. “How’s my favorite niece?”

“Two-Brains,” she replies shortly, and yeah, it may be true, but it hurts. “What are you doing here?”

“What, in my synagogue?” He rolls his eyes. “What do you think?”

“What do I – what evil thing are you planning now?” she demands. “Are you gonna turn the building into cheese? The books?”

Two-Brains blinks at her. “I have cheese with me,” he says frankly, pulling a small bit out of his pocket. “To keep the mouse brain in check so I don’t cheesify the Torah. I do this every Friday night?”

“No, Uncle Steven did this every Friday night!” she exclaims. “Not, not you!”

“I have his brain, you know,” Two-Brains says. He’s irritated, but he only lets mild annoyance creep into his voice. “It wanted to go to temple, so we went to temple.” He moves to walk back into the sanctuary, and Wordgirl – Becky – zips in front of him.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“I’m missing the service – can we do this after?” He asks, exasperated. “I haven’t seen these people in two weeks because I was in jail.”

“You committed a crime! You wouldn’t have been in jail if you hadn’t!” she says. “And you broke out! I should take you back to jail right now!”

“I haven’t done anything!” He says, and tries to move past her again. She picks him up and zooms him to the end of the hallway. “Becky –”

“It’s Wordgirl,” she says venomously.

Those two words shouldn’t hurt as much as they do. Two-Brains grimaces.

“I just want to attend services,” he says. “I dragged myself all the way here, out of a sense of tradition, or loyalty, or muscle memory, and now I just want to finish services. No heist, no scheme.” He raises his eyebrows. “Is that alright with you, Becky?”

She scowls. It’s always been strange to see Becky’s face twist in anger – he’s known her since she was a happy, super-powered baby– but it’s so much worse to have the scowl directed at him. She looks so much older and angrier than she should.

“You can come in with me if you want,” he says. He doesn’t really want to extend the offer, but he does want to get back to the service. “Keep an eye on me, if it makes you feel better.”

Becky is still glaring, but she gives a sharp nod. “Fine.”

They slip back inside, and Two-Brains knows everyone notices that Wordgirl is in their synagogue, but no one says anything to them. He re-situates himself in his place in the back, and tries to figure out how much he missed.

——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———

“What are you saying?” Becky whispers. Two-Brains is caught off guard, and he stumbles over the words.

“It’s Hebrew,” he whispers back, and Becky rolls her eyes.

“Duh. What does it mean?” She presses.

“Just, like, prayer stuff. Hoping for peace and all that jazz,” he answers. People have begun singing, and he jumps in.

“Sounds kind of hypocritical,” Becky mutters. Two-Brains ignores her to finish the song.

“I can hope for peace and not be a hypocrite,” he objects quietly. “I’m just of two minds. One wants peace for people and the other wants a piece of cheese. I’ve reconciled that within myself.”

“That’s a loophole!”

“Yes, it is,” Two-Brains agrees, and holds a finger to his lips. “Now be quiet. The grannies are going to give me an earful after this.”

——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———

“God, it’s so much easier to keep Kosher now that I really only eat cheese. Not that the mouse brain isn’t partly carnivorous – calm down, Squeaky, it’s just a fact – but man, I’d completely mix my meats and cheeses before, and eat all the good stuff the big man upstairs forbid. This cheese-based diet is a life saver.”

Two-Brains is talking as he eats. His temple is never short on cream cheese, and he’s able to put lox on the bagel without Squeaky throwing a fit.

“You used to say that religious dietary restrictions were scientifically foolish,” Becky says with complete confidence. She’s thirteen - the world is still mostly black and white for her, and Two Brains doesn’t fault her for it. She’s a kid.

“Yeah, well science schmience, Steven still felt guilty about it,” he responds. “But now I’m home free.”

——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———

“It’s not easy being a Jew with a mouse brain attached to your head,” Two-Brains says. “Enough people think I’m a rat as is.” He winces as Squeaky barrages him, offended at the word. “The rat part because I’m Jewish, Squeaky, Jesus. Learn to pick up context clues. I know you’re not a rat.”

“That’s…” Becky starts, and trails off. “Are you allowed to say that?”

“If anyone is allowed to, then I am,” he says. “I don’t think anyone else in the world is in this situation.” He gestures at his machine. “So, what do you think?”

“I think you should keep your day job, stand-up just isn’t your calling,” Becky deadpans, and that startles a laugh out of Two-Brains. “The machine is good, Uncle Steven. Even if it is cheese technology.”

——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———

“I hate church. I feel like I’m going to burst into flames,” Two-Brains mutters, and Becky elbows him in the side.

“Uncle Steven never complained,” she whispers back as the priest wraps up his homily. “He just sat there happily.”

Two-Brains snorts. “Becky, I still have his brain. He wasn’t happy, believe you me.”

Becky scowls. “Just be quiet. It’s T.J.’s first communion, it’s important.”

Two-Brains rolls his eyes, but he doesn’t say anything else. He earns another elbow in the ribs when he chooses to sit rather than kneel.

“Steven would –”

“Blah blah blah Steven, I’m not kneeling. Absolutely not,” he says. “End of discussion.”

This is something Steven’s brain has full agency over – Two-Brains despises church. He has cheese in his pocket that he’s trying to discreetly eat, to sate Squeaky. If Becky wasn’t right next to him, he wouldn’t even be discreet – but then again, he wouldn’t be there if Becky hadn’t asked him to be there. T.J. is his nephew, he supposes, but T.J. never got along with him like Becky does.

He can feel his eyes glazing over, and then everyone is standing again. They sing another song – that’s the only non-miserable part of this whole service – and then the priest does something with the crackers and steps forward. People begin to file out into the center aisle, hands folded together.

Becky pokes him. “You shouldn’t have your hands folded,” she whispers. “Cross them over your chest, so the priest knows not to give you communion.”

Two-Brains keeps his hands folded and ignores Becky. She pokes him again.

“Uncle Steven, your arms,” she emphasizes, then demonstrates herself. Two-Brains continues to ignore her. Steven had always been curious about the cracker, but had never had the guts to try to get it. Two-Brains is going to get that cracker.

“You are unbelievable,” Becky hisses.

Two-Brains is able to get the cracker from the priest, and he triumphantly chomps down on it. It’s dry and not very satisfying. He foregoes the wine—the common cup has always grossed him out.

“That was terrible,” he says once they’re seated again. Well, he’s seated. Becky is kneeling. “You know what church needs? A cheese platter. Crackers and wine and cheese.”

Becky ignores him.

——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———

Becky throws herself onto Dr. Two-Brains’ couch as soon as he lets her in. “I hate boys.”

Two-Brains snorts. “You and me both.”

Becky sits up. “Aren’t you going to ask what’s wrong?”

Two-Brains shrugs. “Do you want me to?”

“Yes! Jeez, why else would I be here except for some sympathy?” Becky throws her hands in the air. “I tried talking to my mom, but she just doesn’t get it. You’re the only person I know who has worse relationships than me.”

“Relationships? You’re twelve,” Two-Brains says. “You’re not in relationships.” His human brain seems to catch up with Becky’s words, and he scowls. “Also, rude. Rude, rude, rude.”

“It’s the truth,” she huffs. “You haven’t dated someone since I was in elementary school.”

Two-Brains crosses his arms. “That wasn’t too long ago, and may I remind you, I have a mouse brain attached to my head. I look twenty years older than I am, and I’m not exactly young.”

Becky waves her hand dismissively. “Whatever.” She rolls over on the couch, looking at Two-Brains expectantly.

“What’s wrong, then?” He asks, taking the hint.

“Tobey! He’s unbearable; I don’t know why he can’t just talk to me like a normal person!” She exclaims.

“Is that the kid with the giant robots?” Two-Brains asks. He vaguely remembers teaming up with him, but he’s never been great at remembering names. Once you knew one twelve-year-old, you knew them all.

“Ugh, yes. Giant robots and a giant pain in my side,” Becky groans. “So, I was wondering, how do you get a boy to stop liking you?”

Two-Brains looks at his niece with his arms folded across his chest. “And, again, you are asking me because…?”

“Well, no one but me really seems to like you all that much,” she says, brutally honest. “Even your henchmen seem to be on the fritz most of the time.”

That stings. Two-Brains keeps the look of genuine hurt of his face, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Look, Becky, you shouldn’t want to not be liked.”

“I didn’t say that, I just want Tobey not to like me,” she says. “I need you to focus whatever makes you unbearable to be around and tell me how to direct it at him.”

“Okay, okay, okay, can you lay off?” Two-Brains asks. “I don’t need constant reminders that no one really likes me.”

“Except me and my family.”

“Except for you and your family,” Two-Brains amends. “Family doesn’t count, though, because family’s required to love you no matter what.”

——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———

“I don’t know if I want to go back to being just Steven,” Two-Brains says through gritted teeth. “Becky, you’re very smart. You must understand that I, as a person, should not exist.”

“But –”

“I’m not Steven. I’m your uncle, and I love you, but I’m not Steven,” Two-Brains says. “I’m not Steven or Squeaky, I’m a freak of nature, a combination of both of them, and I don’t know how I could possibly go back to being two separate entities.” A stab of pain hits him hard, and he winces. “Ow, ow, ow, Squeaky, I know, I was agreeing!”

Becky frowns at him. Two-Brains has noticed she’s been doing that more and more. “Don’t you want to be free, though?”

“This is freedom – what part of “shouldn’t exist” didn't you understand?” Two-Brains asks. “And beyond that, being Steven wasn’t being free. I had a set schedule, I had set hours, I worked for the school. I lived and breathed research, mostly on the behalf of someone else. So what if I have an obsession with cheese? Better a –” He cuts himself off, because Becky looks so sad and shocked, and that’s his thirteen-year-old niece who doesn’t know how cruel the world can be. He sighs. “I’m happy like this, even if the mouse brain goes haywire sometimes.”

“Uncle Steven?” Becky asks, and Two-Brains hears the nerves in her voice. “Why do you not think you’re Steven Boxleitner?”

It’s Two-Brains turn to frown. “Because I’m not.”

“But you always talk to the mouse brain like it’s its own entity, and you never talk to the other brain. You talk about his memories like they’re yours,” Becky points out.

Two-Brains doesn’t have an answer for her. “I used to fight with Steven.”

“No, Squeaky used to fight with him,” Becky says. “And then you stabilized.”

“This isn’t stable, this is – I don’t know, I just learned how to deal with it!” Two-Brains says. He realizes he’s raised his voice, and he takes a deep breath to bring himself back down. “I’m the only person who can deal with this mess, because it’s my mental state. I had to learn to deal with it.”

“And now you do?” Becky asks.

“For the most part. I cope. I manage.” Two-Brains sighs, and allows a small grin. “But I’m free.”

#wordgirl #becky botsford #dr two brains #steven boxleitner #bully.txt

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orcinus-ocean · 4 years

Photo

I am watching hours worth of ex-vegan “interviews” or testimonials, so you don’t have to.

I link to each one so you can see them for yourself, but I wrote down the important points of each one, since I believe this is not just important, but vital information. This could save people’s lives, if they just stop and think and look at another perspective before they go into it.

These are real people. They really wanted it. They really knew what they were doing. They weren’t “doing it wrong”. These are their experiences.

Ex-Vegan (8 Years): Veganism Is a Teeth Rotting, Muscle Atrophying, Degenerating, Fart Fest

A young man with a lot of health issues including severe eczema, got into veganism to get healthy

He had previously been living the typical “college” lifestyle with lots of fast food, no health-thinking at all

For the first year or two, he felt amazing, he did fine for four years, had a successful YouTube channel talking about skin health and the vegan diet

Emphasizing how “literally obsessed” he was with his dental hygiene and health, four years into veganism, his teeth were deteriorating and every time he visited the dentist, he had to have a root canal, he had cavities, infections, receding gums, always something

He was always bloated with a visibly bloated belly

Despite being a very health-focused athlete, his muscles wouldn’t grow the way they should

His skin started going “grey” and his hair lost its rich color

His memory and ability to focus deteriorated

He completely lost interest in food - everything “disgusting”

Feeling a craving for protein, he upped the high-protein vegan foods, and he only felt worse and worse

After realizing this diet was making him sick, he took one bite of salmon and “it was like taking drugs” - clear, physical reaction to it, and compared to the plants giving bloating and gas, “it felt like I was eating nothing, but I had so much energy”

After going back to eating animal protein (as much wild fish/meat as possible), his weight corrected itself, strength in the gym went “off the charts”

The pain and irritation he had on the vegan diet went away

His gums went from white pink to red, “right away”

Digestion issues - gone, hormonal issues - gone

“Since I’ve been eating animals, I feel more humble and more gentle towards animals, I feel more respect towards them, and I feel like I understand the cycles of life and appreciate life even more”

He says the vegan diet can help people to “clean out the body” as it did for him, but veganism, he doesn’t understand. “If your mom was on her death bed, and she had the choice: Die a horrible, painful death, or eat salmon, you would want your mom to die a horrible death rather than eat salmon. I’m asking this to vegans, and a lot of them are like ‘Under no circumstance would I ever have my mom or anyone I know, eat salmon, because it’s killing an animal, it’s abuse’. And I’m like aren’t humans animals?”

“I view the vegan diet as a disease-reversal protocol, not as a ‘forever diet’.”

Ex-Vegan Family: (6+ Years): "Healthy" Vegan & Vegetarian Dogma Depleted Health and Vitality

Casey vegetarian/vegan for ~15 years

Did it to try to clear up his eczema and staph infections (which were so bad the doctors wanted to amputate his legs), didn't really work

He did feel great for the first few months as a raw vegan, but looking back, he believes it was more due to cutting out grains and processed foods, since he found grains are terrible for him

Lost a lot of weight, rotting teeth, reoccuring cavities

Gina became vegan at the age of 13, being a picky eater and caring about animals

The "readymade" vegan food wasn't doing well for her, so she started eating only raw vegan food

She felt really good - for about six months. After six months, a very severe depression, accompanied by brain fog, lack of mental focus, constant hunger, weight loss and joint pain, kicked in

She believed so hard that this had to be right, that she stayed a vegan for 6 years, before introducing dairy

At the age of 17, after four years on veganism, developed a cancerous tumor on her leg (not necessarily connected, but worth noting)

Five years into veganism she was pregnant, and began craving red meat - they started buying local dairy, meat, liver and eggs

After the baby, she went back to raw veganism, and the joint pain came back, "it's detox"

She instead went back to being vegetarian rather than raw vegan, but she still suffered from worsening joint pain, fatigue, brain fog

A couple of years later, she was pregnant again and she was craving red meat so much she even dreamt about it

Her conclusion was "I must be doing it wrong, I must just eat more of the high-protein vegan food"

For her third pregnancy, she stayed vegan, and the birth was the hardest one she had

The baby had the lowest birth weight of the three, still normal weight, but later, he wasn't gaining weight normally

The child couldn't sit up at six months, couldn't walk at a year old, was depressed, only learned to walk after they gave him meat, and he finally became happy

Then on her fourth pregnancy, she was not vegan for the first half, but went back to raw vegan on the latter half of the pregnancy, and this child was healthy

On raw veganism at the end of the fourth pregnancy, her teeth were "falling apart", her bones were aching, and she was so foggy she couldn't think or remember anything

At the end of her pregnancy, she hadn't gained any weight, just stayed the same

Her teeth were full of cavities, despite having been to the dentist and "fixed everything" just some months prior

They could never manage raw fruit more than six months at a time, constant hunger

They believed the constant hunger could be due to parasites, so they ate anti-parasitic herbs which only made things worse

When she stopped eating vegetables (only fruit?), she got skin rashes as well

When they went back to meat, they felt full for the whole day, while on raw veganism, they had to eat all the time and were still always hungry

At the time of filming, they were completely off veganism for four months and she feels like her brain has "grown", she has energy, can exercise again, is gaining muscle

Ex-Vegan (4 Years): How Veganism Shortened My Lifespan

Started veganism as a New Year’s resolution to turn his life around, after living “like a degenerate”

He started with a month-long juice fast, where he felt great

On the first year as a “whole foods vegan” (mainly raw), he suffered from loss of libido, insomnia, migraines, arthritis, couldn’t build muscle

After a year, he went back to a diet of white rice, lean meat, bone marrow and occasional red meat

This diet immediately got his libido and muscle growth back

After some time, peer pressure made him drop the meat, but he still ate eggs

The vegans around him told him “if you continue to eat meat and dairy, you will not be able to ascend and channel divine guidance”

One of them was a nutritionist, and when he told her veganism destroyed his health, she said that he needs to be on 80/10/10, a fruit-based diet

He stayed on it for five months, and it was “the worst 4-5 months of my life”

He went on another vegan diet, based on sprouts, sea vegetables and algae, and a bunch of supplements

Same problems - lack of libido, insomnia, lack of muscle, migraines, cracking joints

A friend who saw him for the first time in years said “you look like one of those kids in the refugee camps”, because his face was so sunken-in

His friend eventually convinced him to go with him to a steakhouse, and he describes the first bite he took as “the fat going straight into my brain” and he felt “like a dying wolf”

He gorged on 2-3 pounds of fatty meat, slept for twelve hours, and his friends told him he immediatly looked like a completely different person

His cracking joints, dry skin and insomnia went away

Still, he went back to veganism, and all the problems came back

He went back and forth between raw veganism and primal diet every 2-4 weeks, rebuilding on an animal-based diet, deteriorating on a plant-based diet, always thinking “this time I will make it work”

He had to give up aiming for optimum health as a vegan, instead aiming for just “normal stability”

Staying at an old vegan institute managed by one of the creators of his sprouts-algae-supplements diet, doing a colonic, the worker there admitted to him most of them there are not vegan, because they fall apart on it, but go on a primal diet

During the colonic, the worker pushed his liver, and he felt “fire” going down his intestines. What came out was all green, spirulina, algae and other such supplements, which had simply stored in his liver

He speaks a lot about studies on different “uncivilized” peoples around the world, who were all eating high amounts of animal fat, wherever they lived

At the end, he speaks of where veganism might be coming from, and the lie that veganism is good for the environment

His message to vegans is to “quit bothering and harassing people”, and that if you care about animals, go buy cheap land in Arizona and make an animal shelter or something, instead of bullying people who eat meat

Ex-Vegan (2 Years): Vegans Have No Empathy for Humans

Vegetarian for six years, before going vegan

Ate mainly raw vegan, and then her stomach became “an empty, vacant hole”, she was always hungry

Throughout her time on veganism, she was taking lots of supplements

Her skin dried up, she got acne all over her face

She became “emotional and neurotic” and “absolutely insane” from a lack of B12

A lot of talk about the cult mindset in the “vegan community”

Starting to eat eggs again, she felt “a little bit better”, but still felt hungry all the time

Panic attacks over tiny things, anemia, constant diarrhea

Started eating fish, it didn’t help much

She was always hungry but had no appetite, had to force-feed herself

After a particularly bad day, she realized she was risking her life, and ate steak the next day

Eating steak for the first time in years, she felt warmth throughout her body, tingling on her head, and “satiated” for the first time in years, “it changed my life”

Ex-Vegan (12+ Years): Veganism Is Starvation - Fruitarianism Is Suicide

Started in 2002 as a vegetarian for a year before going vegan, became raw vegan from 2009-2011, then went on to fruitarianism until 2015

She says many feel great the first year or so on veganism, because they cut out all the junk from their diet

She had digestive issues prior to becoming vegan, thought it might help, but it only got worse and she got sicker as the years progressed

After six years and only getting sicker, she thought it must be the drugs for her health issues, "I'm doing it wrong", or "my body is wrong"

(They talk about some very interesting "meat and milk causes cancer"-studies four minutes in)

She said the raw vegan years were the worst of her life, that her brain “stopped functioning”. She became "permanently psychotic", she "saw hell" and heard voices - conclusion: "oh, it's detox"

When she stopped veganism in 2015, she had a test done on her hair. They said they had never seen that much heavy metal in someone's hair before

She had been doing nothing but "cleansing" and "detoxing" for the past five years, and she was "the most toxic, sick person you'll ever meet"

She was “literally dying” towards the end, freezing cold all the time, her bones hurt so much she couldn't lay on a hard surface

She couldn't digest anything but fruit anymore, it took two years of quitting raw veganism until the point where she could digest vegetables and meat again

Her teeth had to be all "redone", because they were rotten to the roots, her hair was falling out

She was told that on this fruitarian diet, it will feel like hell for 2-3 years, because of the "detox", then they will feel great, like godlike beings

But since 2-3 years passed and people still felt awful, their "leader" changed that to "people are so sick today, the detox will take 5-6 years!"

This also didn't happen, people stuck for 5-6 years and only got sicker, so the story changed to "7-8 years, then you will feel great!"

Her comment: "You can't be a herbivore and be healthy. If you want to have a life of mental illness and an early death and degeneration, go be vegan."

Many of these people have also spoken of how many well-known names in the vegan/raw/fruitarian communities (from YouTubers to authors) are known “cheaters” who eat meat frequently in order to stay healthy, while lying to their audiences and telling them to stay vegan.

These were only five. I will do more of these posts, to keep them at a readable length.

#vegans #veganism #raw vegan #plant based #ex vegan #anti vegan #fruitarianism #vegan health

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soybloodandstakes · 4 years

Text

Young Dracula Vampires and Their Eating Habits: an exploration

Throughout Series 1 and 2 we see Vlad and Ingrid eat breakfast before school; obviously there’s also the episode where Renfield packs Vlad a spinach sandwich that has a cockroach in it, and we know that Renfield is partial to eating a bug or two (or many). We could say that as they’re still under 16 and don’t drink blood yet, their dietary needs would be similar to a Breather’s - albeit that their cuisine is unusual by stereotypical western standards (because in quite a few cuisines it’s common to eat insects and the like, also the idea of food being made out of bugs is slowly becoming ever more popular) - and perhaps they don’t need to eat food once they’re vampires (and yes I know I mentioned Renfield but it’s kind of relevant, hold on). However. We do see the Count eat; in the episode where the Branagh’s stay over and Elizabeth cooks him that weird blood pudding thing, and even in the first episode there is mention of him having to eat black pudding at a service station BUT it’s only because he can’t otherwise get blood. When Magda first makes an appearance and the Count falls for her again, they have a dinner prepared for her. Now my question is - do vampires in this universe need to eat? Is it a necessity for survival or just a personal preference? And can they survive only on blood or vice versa?

I think I assume that no, they don’t need blood to survive, because if you look at Vlad and Talitha in Series 5, they’re both vegetarian vampires and so neither drink blood. And I mean also - there’s a whole BRAND for soy blood. Surely that means that there’s enough of a demand for it to have at least one brand right? However I’ve just realised that I am COMPLETELY FORGETTING !! that the VERY FIRST instance we see of a vegetarian vampire is Ivan! Before his incident with Van Helsing, he speaks of many vampires in America living a blood-free lifestyle, posing it as the only sustainable way forward. From this we can assume definitely that no - vampires in the Young Dracula universe do not need blood to survive and don’t even need to eat meat either. So, what do they need and why do they drink blood?

I think that the answer to the latter question is simply instinct and possibly tradition. There are many instances in which we see Vlad have sudden cravings for blood; ones that he fights down and doesn’t give in to but cravings nonetheless. Ivan is converted back to blood drinking from the smell of Slayer’s blood, again the fact that it is an instinctual need. As for what these vampires need to survive? I don’t know for certain. And we probably never will. The idea of vampires and the lore of the creatures has been changed and shaped to many different stories and renditions; I don’t know many of them but we can logically assume that Young Dracula takes inspiration from at least one or two more sources outside of the book that it is based off of (which takes its inspiration from the novel Dracula which I have yet to read). I can’t remember where I read it, I think it may have been in a My Sister’s a Vampire book hahaha EDIT it wasn’t it was in Carry On, thanks Baz, but there’s one idea that vampires need to eat food like humans do, but they can go for longer stretches of time without it. However, an opposing idea is present in Twilight; in this series vampires cannot eat human food and it actually makes them dreadfully ill. Although, in this example the Cullens don’t drink human blood either and drink animal blood instead, something that we can assume the vampires in YD probably don’t do as there is no suggestion of it anywhere. These two ideas and the evidence in YD are the only things I really have to go on as I haven’t read Dracula or watched anything based off it. Though I have read Carmilla - a vampire novel that predates Dracula - it again suggests the idea that vampires don’t eat and may be repulsed by food.

However, I am inclined to go with the idea that vampires (these ones at least) do actually need to eat to survive, and perhaps that their requirements for survival in terms of needing food are very similar to humans if not almost the same.

For one thing, the Dracula’s seem to keep pretty regular mealtimes. Throughout the entire program, they can often be found to at least be having dinner if not any other meal. In Series 3 in ‘Bad Vlad’, Vlad invites a Breather girl, Becky, up for lunch - though you could argue that this is to be in-keeping with Breather life. On this note, ‘lunch’ is intended to be her, which again does question whether they need food at all, however throughout Series 3 there are a number of things related to food that we can explore. Again with mealtimes, something that is actually used as a point to drive the narrative forward is when they’re all having lunch and Vlad is given the ocelots nose instead of the Count, who claims that he “always get[s] the ocelots nose”. There are also various other mentions of food throughout the later series in particular, so we know that these creatures do eat and perhaps they indeed do it out of necessity to survive, much like we do.

Contradicting this though, is the language that is often used when referring to blood and Breathers, and it is something that I also want to explore – how blood is consumed and what it is considered to be. Food or drink? In Series 3 in ‘The Blood Thief’, when Ingrid invites Bertrand to the blood cellar to taste one of the Count’s vintage bottles, she says “What a great evening – dinner and a show.”. With “dinner” being not even a full glass of blood we could just assume that this is a turn of phrase; with blood also being treated in a similar way to wine (vintage bottles, a dedicated cellar, drunken out of stemmed glasses) it does seem to therefore be considered to be like a drink. Additionally, in Series 5 where Warlock ‘puts in his order’ with Ingrid, he says “mines a _” which echoes that of a drinks preference (like a usual coffee order). However, there is also constant referral to Breathers being a “meal” or “playing with your food” so – perhaps vampires can survive without food, as long as they have a supply of blood. Hence the glass of blood being “dinner” for Ingrid. This seems very plausible, especially with the opening of the blood banks in Series 4 for the ‘strays’ or ‘ferals’. Vlad claims that they would go wild without them, and we do see evidence of that when the blood runs out at one point. These homeless vampires with nowhere else to go would probably not have access to food; most likely being led by their instincts alone, the only source of nutrition they crave is blood. Human when they can but animal when they can’t. It’s with this point that I retract my earlier statement that we see no evidence of vampires drinking animal blood instead of human like in Twilight, as in Vlad’s speech to the ferals he mentions the fact that they are/will be feeding off of stray cats if they do not follow him to Garside, as they cannot hunt because of the ceasefire. With this information, perhaps I am wrong in my assumption that vampires need to eat food. Maybe they can simply survive on blood alone. So, this begs the question – why do the Draculas have meals? Why are, according to Renfield, certain maggots a vampire delicacy?

If we forget for a minute that vegetarian vampires exist and focus on the majority, what exactly are the reasons for the Draculas and other vampires, like those at the Hunt Ball in Series 1, to be eating food? Is it still indeed a necessity thing and vampires like the ferals, though surviving, are perhaps malnourished without food as well as blood? Is it a culture thing, a tradition thing? A class thing? Up until the introduction of the ferals, we are not shown a way of vampire life other than that of the Draculas and their associates. The Draculas are therefore really our only source of information and so that is what I am basing these assumptions on. The mention of it possibly being a class thing is also because, assumedly, the Count is.. well, a Count. Whether his title is with or without the corresponding status is irrelevant though, because we know that the Draculas as a clan are still supposedly renowned as a name and have status in their own right because of that, and so may be expectant of certain things due to having money - like food being a part of their life. Another theory is that maybe, turned vampires don’t need to eat but born ones do? (With the assumption that most of the ferals are Half-Fangs?) It’s a possibility. My personal thoughts are that vampires in this universe can survive only on blood – as possibly evidenced by the ferals – but need some sort of food too if they don��t want to be constantly hungry and/or malnourished. In addition, those of a higher status may be more accustomed to eating food perhaps because of tradition, which is usually found to be kept more in higher status places, or because of culture. The cuisine in question is also definitely very odd by human standards, and so here we come back to one of the opening points. The fact that these vampires seemingly have a pretty vamp-specific cuisine even before being 16 is another indication to the possibility that vampires in this universe eat food for possibly more than just enjoyment, and their dietary requirements are the reasons for this. This being said, Renfield also seems to share a lot of the same food, although he isn’t exactly a regular breather and he is pretty disgusting in his taste (even by a vampire’s standards), so it does still raise the possibility of it just being culture/tradition.

In Series 1 the Dracula’s are found to be eating various gross-looking things, a lot that looks kind of mouldy; at the Hunt Ball, we are shown a vampire eating an eyeball skewer, and bugs seems to be a large part of their general diet as evidenced by the maggots for Magda in Series 1, and also Renfield’s “bug burgers” in Series 5 that George helps him make. In Series 2 we also see a large fox in a sort of pie thing among other mentions of badgers and birds that Renfield serves, which leads to Ivan telling the Count he’s vegetarian. There is far more mention of the food that they eat throughout the show, however we can generally deduct that they seem to eat pretty much anything and everything if it’s an animal that moves, particularly if it is gross by regular human (also western) standards. In Series 5 the Count even mentions how he hasn’t “had a toad in years” when one (weirdly CGI-ed) appears on his balcony. So they eat toads too. Maggots seem to be weirdly popular; Series 3 at the Carpathian Feast shows Renfield ‘teaching’ Wolfie how to eat maggots, these ones considered to be a delicacy of “fine dining” having been “fed on a diet of elephant dung”. Gross. These vampires’ diet seems to be quite broad; however, the existence of vegetarian vampires also proves that they don’t need to eat these things to survive or be healthy. Obviously it can just be argued that they eat these things because, well, they’re vampires and it’s a work of fiction, and the fact they eat these weird foods just helps to hold the suspension of belief of them being supernatural creatures. But that’s not how I am going about this, so we’ll forget about that argument. With the consideration of vegetarian vampires, I am inclined to go with the fact that vampires eat these foods in particular because of tradition, because of their culture. Or at least the Draculas do. This may just be that it’s because they’re from “the old country” (Transylvania), and like aforementioned, they’re of a higher status and more likely to keep old vampire traditions. So it isn’t to say that vampires of this universe don’t enjoy a burger or two, despite the Count not knowing what they are. (“What is that, a person from Hamburg?”) However, the vampires that we are shown are all from a similar status family/position as the Draculas, and so their food does seem to be kind of similar. Whatever background a vampire comes from though, their diet is most definitely carnivorous, whatever form that meat comes in. This comes back to my main point of their eating habits coming from their vampire instinct. The fact that the Draculas are accustomed to eating certain foods in certain ways is probably more indicative of their class than anything else. As with all people, I’m sure these vampires have preferences and different types of food across the vampire globe – raw meat is something that you would assume they would eat, yet it is only seen to be eaten twice throughout the show. Ivan in Series 2 after his run-in with Van Helsing, and Hack in Series 5 from the basket of meat that Ingrid sent him. But, they definitely don’t need to have this diet to survive, and we can assume that its reason is more of instinct and tradition.

So what do vampires in the Young Dracula universe need to consume to survive?

Like I said previously, we don’t and won’t know for sure. But this exploration has shown that their need for blood and for meat as food is most definitely instinctual than anything else. Those that are led more by their instincts like the ferals, and even Ivan, are more likely to be blood thirsty and want their hunger satiated that way, more so than through food. They also prove that vampires can survive only on blood if need be, without the need for food as well. However, without food they definitely seem to be wilder than your average vampire. Or perhaps are exactly what you imagine a vampire to be like and the Draculas, due to their class and status, are simply more controlled. I’m not sure. What I am sure about though, is that it is possible for a vampire to live without blood, and without meat. This is proven by both Vlad and Talitha, and Ivan before he was reverted. So, what vampires need to survive is still unclear, but is nothing to do with having a special dietary requirement that is unlike a human’s. In fact, they probably can survive on the same diet as a breather. But, the key thing is their instincts, which are hard to control, being the main reason why the majority of vampires are carnivorous blood suckers. Even Vlad, who has always refused to drink blood even before he was vegetarian, has instinctual cravings for it.

TL;DR - Food for vampires in the Young Dracula universe seems to be more a thing of culture, tradition, and class than anything else. These vampires can definitely survive without blood and without meat if they wanted, however for most their instinctual need takes over. They also seem to be able to survive only on blood, however this appears to make them more instinct dependant, driving them slightly mad. Essentially, food seems to be a preference, and either it or blood can be the sole thing a vampire survives on, irrelevant of the consequences. Also, vegetarian vampires are pretty happily surviving without blood.

I’m sure there is much more I could talk about, especially once I finally read Bram Stoker’s Dracula, but this is pretty much all I can think of to explore for the moment. I would be here forever otherwise, and will probably add quite a bit in the future as I come up with more ideas to do with this.

#did i just write over 2500 words on the eating habits of fictional creatures from a program that finished 6 years ago with no fandom? yes.#young dracula #young dracula vampires: an exploration #young dracula vampires and their eating habits #informal essay #analysis piece #my writing #she speaks #vampire eating habits #i still can't believe ive just basically written an entire essay on this #why am i like this ahahahah no one is even in thsi fandom but this is the entire purpose that i made this blog #so i have somewhere to put shit like this !#i hope that anyone who has actually read this enjoyed it and please share your thoughts if you have

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blackswaneuroparedux · 4 years

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Anonymous asked: Hi! Do you follow some sort of exercise regime? If so, would you mind sharing it? Were you able to stay in shape whilst at university?

Staying fit and living a healthy lifestyle is important to me and I do my best to try and sustain that especially as one gets older. Although compared to how sporty I was during my university days and what I do now is a touchy subject as I fall woefully short. Real world demands of of work and the personal keep sabotaging my good intentions. For me being sporty was less about weight loss and fat gain than about the mental side of being physically fit. The release of oxytocin was natural way to fight any stress or anxiety that we all have to deal with at different times in life. It was about challenging my mind through my body to set goals and have the bloody single mindedness to focus to go beyond them. The benefits were for me developing a mental steeliness and emotional resilience.

As a girl growing up partly in the Far East I learned martial arts which was a very healthy way to keep fit. I did ‘baby’ judo at 4 years onwards which was really about having fun learning to fall over and getting up again. More seriously I then progressed to jiu-jitsu (Japanese and then later in life Brazilian style) and Kendo (I fell in love with the Samurai heritage living in Japan). I dabbled in other forms of martial arts over the subsequent years but nothing too seriously. In India, as a teen, I started to do yoga. Don’t laugh but yoga (not the Californian bohemian kind from the 60s that’s been mainstreamed into the modern Western bourgeois lifestyle) really gets you fit. You can leave aside the more questionable spiritual side of it and still enjoy the physical and emotional benefits of yoga as I still do.

At boarding school I still carried on with martial arts but also did ski-ing (very Swiss) and cross-country ski-ing (very Norwegian). I did do lacrosse and field hockey naturally - partly because we were forced to - but I ended up breaking a few bloody noses and bruised shins because I was overly competitive and I hated losing. I enjoyed the camaraderie but it wasn’t really my métier. Instead I did a lot of fencing and that required focus, agility, speed, and good bum muscles! Mountaineering and hiking were my outdoor escapes from being suffocated inside school walls.

So by the time I reached university I was already somewhat sporty. At university I primarily did field hockey and also modern pentathlon. Modern pentathlon includes the five disciplines of running, shooting, horse riding, fencing, and swimming. I did all five disciplines separately growing up as a girl. I grew up with horses but I would be the first to say I wasn’t a natural rider. Swimming and running I loved to do in the open countryside. Swimming in the sea, river, or a fjord was heaven because I disliked crowded public swimming pools. Running over semi-long distances was really my bread and butter of staying fit and mentally resilient. I also carried on my martial arts of jiu-jitsu and Kendo. University was the only time I ever really went close to hardcore in the gym but out of duty rather than love.

The Norwegian winter sport of Skiskyting (now called biathlons) was something I did from the time I was almost 11 years old. During my university years I did it less because I could only do it in Norway and not in England where I was studying. Skiskyting is simply cross country skiing and rifle shooting (the rifle you carry on your back as you ski) over 12 km or so. Like most Norwegians, I was born with skis, and so I took to Skiskyting like a duck to water. If my father had taught me fencing (very British army), my Norwegian mother is the one who showed me her Norwegian traditions - she’s always had been a very good skier. I love to ski and in Norway we do lots of ski walking which really gets you fit.

Coming up to the present day I have reduced my activity to fit around other demands on my time especially with work and travel. It’s been a constant juggling act because when you live in a big city and you have a demanding career with long hours (as well as travel) then it becomes more tough to adapt and sustain a healthy routine.

I still dislike gyms. Even to this day I try and avoid them if I can. I can’t stand the overflowing testosterone and the social posing. Overhead music is a huge turn off for me. I prefer the solitude of my own thoughts if I can and not listen to blaring music.

These days my daily routine always begins with morning yoga - partly because I have to. To avoid muscle cramp as a result of of an old back and knee injury from my past Army days I have to keep supple and flexible as much as I can. Even when I travel and I stay in a hotel I’ll do yoga in my hotel room - I won’t do it in the hotel gym and spa - so I’ll steal/liberate a yoga mat from there and stash it in my hotel room.

I try to do a 5 km run every other day. I love doing this because it helps me to release the oxytocin and this puts me in a good mood for the start of my day. I feel free and unbound when I am running. I get my best ideas to solving problems when I am running. It doesn’t matter if I am traveling as I will get out of the cocoon of the hotel and just go out for a run (as I dislike hitting the tread mill inside the hotel gym). To me, a great way to discover a city is by getting lost in it. At home in Paris, the Bois de Boulogne isn’t far for me to do my run. In the park I’ll do sets of crunches and squats. If I have a breakfast meeting then I’ll switch my run to lunch time or after I finish work I will do a late night run. I’m fortunate that I can shower at work if I need to.

Every other day when I’m not running I will cycle into work which gives me an alternative cardio work out. I supplement this by going swimming twice every week but I do that at a private health club and on a day when I haven’t done my 5 km run.

I continue to keep up my martial arts by joining martial arts club to do Brazilian jui-jitsu and Kendo. I also keep my fencing up by joining a club. I attend when I can, usually weekly. Both martial arts and fencing are a good way to keep fit and mentally alert.

Every two weeks I’ll play a game of squash with friends at a sports club as we’re part of an informal squash ladder. It’s a fun way to stay healthy and chill out with friends.

Every calendar year I will do a charity half marathon - there are plenty in France such as breast cancer - often with a friend. I’ll do it because it’s firstly for a good cause and secondly it forces me to have a set goal and and so my running and training regime will reflect that.

Every year I set myself a goal of competing in 2-3 amateur/semi-professional triathlons spread out in the calendar year - usually in the middle of rural France. The best way to train on technique is by joining a regional club/team. I enjoy the friendly camaraderie when we travel for the events together. The great thing about this is the age range from super fit teens to avid competitors into their 50s from different walks of life. It’s very down to earth and there’s no peer pressure other than the goals you set for yourself.

Every year I also set a goal of doing 1-2 biathlons in Norway. Again, I do that by joining a semi-professional club in Norway and I’ll go to compete when it fits around my seasonal calendar. I love this because it allows me the rare treat of just being Norwegian and forgetting everything else of being English or thinking like the French. So I love the Norwegian dry humour and the laid back friendly atmosphere of being back even if the food is barely edible!

Speaking of food, as you well know there’s no point going on any exercise regime if you don’t address the other half of the equation: a healthy diet. The truth is you can cut out more calories from what you eat than you can burn with exercise. Exercise and diet go together hand in glove. For me this is an extra challenge. Contrary to what you might think just because you live in Paris doesn’t mean you dine on gourmand food every day. The days of 2 hour lunches with wine are fading away and giving way to grabbing ‘le sandwich’. In fact, there are worrying culinary habits from American culture which is dictating bad eating habits especially amongst the young. The temptation to buy processed food and use the microwave or grab a takeaway is too much for some. It’s also true many young Parisians simply don’t know how to cook.

Speaking personally I love cooking and one of my weekend rituals is to go to a local farmer’s market and buy fresh vegetables, fruit, and lean meat for the week. Cooking helps me to ‘power down’ from the stress of work. I enjoy the ritual of trying out new recipes and putting on small intimate dinner parties or cooking for loved ones at the weekend. To me it’s a lame excuse to say you can’t whip up a quick healthy meal when you come home after a hard day at work. You can. You can buy ingredients and prepare food ahead of time. Make up a rough menu for the week and plan ahead. There are plenty of recipes to healthy eating for the week.

My biggest challenge when it comes to diet is saying no to good food when I dine out. One of the side effects of my work is that I have to attend quite a few business dinners with corporate clients. So it’s nearly always a well regarded restaurant. It would be rude to say no to the fine food. I enjoy good food - one reason why I like living here in Paris - and if I get the opportunity to dine at a great restaurant then I’m not sticking to a celery stick and mineral water. I do try to be sensible about what I eat when I dine out. I’m not a freak in the sense that I’m counting calories in my head but I do reason to myself that if I gorge on cake here then I better make up for it over there, perhaps a few extra laps of the pool. I love wine - as I also like whisky and other drinks - but I limit the number of glasses by also taking mineral water and herbal tea instead. I smoke cigars on occasion so I adjust my exercise routine accordingly.

I am also sometimes guilty of cheating myself out of a good night’s sleep because of meeting some work related deadline or my body clock is off because of travel jet lag. So I try and make it up some where because rest is so important. The point is to know your body and know your limitations. Above all, be reasonable and be kind to yourself.

There’s an old maxim I learned from my army days. No plan ever survives first contact with the enemy. This is true in life too. So plan your exercise and diet regime with that in mind. How we stay fit and healthy depends largely on our environment so there is a difference between being a university student in a dorm room with a bad case of the munchies and an essay crisis, and being a harassed mother with kids to feed and who want MacDonalds and candy in the suburbs, or a young person taking first steps in a first job on the career ladder and resorting to late night microwave dinners. Social media environment keeps pushing perfect body memes which again is unrealistic so don’t let that be the benchmark of defining success. The key is get real. Set realistic goals and break it down to a level manageable for you.

One can instil good habits that are healthy and sustainable. If I was in your position I would first see a nutritionist to explain and educate you about food groups. He or she would tell you where you can get your nutritional requirements from a wider variety of foods according to your means and availability. You also can get an idea of where you can have your pizza or your cake and not feel guilty about it.

Get a nutrition plan and take it to your gym - I know, I know, I said I hate gyms and I do but you might not. A good gym will have competent personal trainers on hand. They can draw up an exercise plan based on the nutrition plan and also listening to your expectations that is hopefully based on realistic goals. I’m not suggesting you have a personal trainer on retainer. But you only need one lesson for him/her to draw up a plan for you to follow. The rest will be up to you and how you motivate yourself. You may find the grind of going to the gym of doing cardio one day and actual gym work the next too much. Fine, find other things outside of the gym that you will enjoy and get you comparatively fit and doesn’t bore you. If you find it hard to motivate yourself then do it with a friend.

Once you start to enjoy it and see the benefits of it, it will no longer feel like a turgid routine but just a growing habit towards leading a more healthy lifestyle.

Thanks for your question

#question #fitness #wellbeing #health #exercise #diet #personal #bio #me

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lamiasluck · 4 years

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Apart of the Pack

(This is a gift for @hostgalli19! I hope you enjoy)

Summary: Yancy, a powerful beast among beasts, roams through the forest. He's an unstoppable force, all his prey cower before him in the quick last moments they have before they're ripped apart. Lately he's sent his eyes on one man that's been travelling through the forest everyday. A man cloaked in a red hood.

Characters: Yancy, Eric, and Derek

AU: Little Red Riding Hood inspired, Yancy’s a werewolf

Words: 3757

Warnings: Referenced abuse and implied character death

Read on AO3!

The forest was quiet, it always was. Only the bravest of souls travelled through the Happy Trails forest. Despite the cutesy name, monsters of all kinds roamed amongst the dense trees. If anyone were to travel too far or stray from the path, their souls would be doomed to be the next meal of some bloodthirsty beast. So only the strongest went through, the bravest of the brave.

Or souls with a chore to complete, apparently.

Yancy has been watching this guy for awhile now. He wore a red hood that covered most of his body, but Yancy could tell that he was one of those frail types. He constantly looked over his shoulder and kept a wary eye on the bushes as he passed. Everyday he walked on the path, not daring to stray for even a second. Yancy could smell the fear on him, almost as well as he could smell the food he always carried.

Alongside the red hood, another constant was the basket of pastries and food. He delivered them to the same house everyday. A family member, maybe? Yancy never bothered with the details. What he did bother with was what looked like an easy meal.

For someone like him, his diet mainly consisted of meats, but he wouldn’t mind a bread roll every once and awhile. Besides, if he couldn’t get what was in the basket he could tear that man apart and use his red hood as a napkin. All it took was a rustle of a bush for the man to start cowering.

“W-Who’s there?!” The man panicked. He held his basket close as Yancy stepped closer.

Now in an approachable form, Yancy held up his arms in a passive manner. “Easy there, pipsqueak. I’m just passin’ by.”

The man still seemed apprehensive. Even in the daytime this forest was dangerous, so he kept his guard up. He looked around for any other signs of life. As far as he could see, it was just him and this stranger.

“What’s someone like youse doing ‘ere? This place is pretty dangerous, y’know?” Yancy got a better look at the man’s face as he stared petrified. Round glasses framed his face, with quirked up eyebrows and a slightly quivering lip to add onto his defenseless attitude. It delighted Yancy to see such an easy target.

“I’m, um, I-I’m giving some f-food to my - to my dad.” The man shrunk further into himself as Yancy looked him up and down, eyes focusing on his food basket. “Wh-What are you doing here…?”

Yancy pressed his lips together. “I’m one of ‘em monster hunters,” he lied, “Just checkin’ to make sure everything’s alright ‘ere. The name’s Yancy.”

Instantly, the man relaxed at his claim. Not entirely relaxed, but relaxed enough that Yancy doesn’t have to worry about him running away soon. Eyes blinded by panic missed Yancy’s oddly strong and clawed nails, and his abnormally sharpened toothy smile.

“I’m Eric,” he muttered. Yancy’s roughed up appearance put him on edge, but he assumed he was coming out of a scuffle of some sorts.

Yancy nodded softly, repeating the name under his breath. “Well then, Eric, youse should pick up the pace there. Youse don’t know what could be lurking ‘round.” He looked at the basket, then at Eric’s face. He was alright looking for a human, though he needed more meat on his bones.

“I try… t-try to be careful.”

“Why don’t I walk youse to ya destination? It’d be safer.” He could wait for his meal. If he killed Eric now then that destroyed his chances of getting more baked goods in the future.

Eric chewed on his lip as he contemplated. He fidgeted with the basket’s handle, and Yancy noticed a yellow handkerchief tied around it. There was still a bit to travel after this. If a monster hunter was here then that could mean there are more monsters about, so he nodded his head.

Their walk was relatively peaceful. Yancy learned that Eric owned a bakery in the nearby town and had to deliver his father fresh goods everyday after he closed up shop. That last fact sounded odd to Yancy, a bit controlling, but he assumed Eric was taking care of his father. Another defenseless person then. Today was really shaping up for him.

In a safe part of the forest, next to another town, was a small lodge house. Eric turned to Yancy.

“Um… Th-Thank you,” he said, smiling shakely at the other. “I-I don’t have any - any money to g-give… ‘M sorry.”

“That’s alright, pipsqueak.” Yancy smiled back, though it was naturally more dangerous. He pointed at the basket. “Say, why don’t youse give me some bread and we’ll call it even.”

Eric flinched as he made his offer, a newfound fear present in his eyes. “I… I’m n-not sure…”

“Why’s that?” Yancy asked with a frown.

Eric looked at Yancy, then to the basket, then finally at the house. He was unaware as Yancy clenched his fists and snarled his teeth slightly. He had something else to be afraid of. “These are for my dad. I-I shouldn’t - he-he’ll be mad.”

“Your dad won’t miss one piece. I’m really hungry from all the…” Yancy shifted in place, “monster huntin’, y’know?”

The way Eric furrowed his brows and shivered made Yancy pity him. It was almost enough to make reconsider killing him. Much to his delight, Eric rummaged through his basket and pulled out a sweet bun. A bit small, but it was something. It was enough to satisfy Yancy.

There was an unspoken off promise that they’ll meet again. Eric was relieved that there was someone that could help him, he doesn’t see many people travel through here after all. Yancy hasn’t spent this much time with a human without tearing them to shreds, he was downright curious of how long this could go.

“Until next time, pipsqueak.”

The next day Eric came by the usual path. However, Yancy could tell this time was different. Eric was off, he could smell it and he could notice a limp Eric poorly tried to hide.

He went up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder. “Youse alright?”

Eric screamed and turned around, causing Yancy to flinch back. Once he saw who it was he calmed down slightly and tried to regain his breath.

“Uh… I’m sorry?”

“N-No, no, it - it’s fine,” Eric reassured, more so to himself than Yancy. “Everything’s fine.”

“Ya sure ‘bout that? Looks like youse saw a ghost or somethin’.” In this forest he could have very well have, actually. “Lemme walk wit’ youse again.” Eric simply nodded his head and continued his path. His gaze was cast downwards. Yancy could feel the unease radiating off him, so they both kept quiet for some time. When Yancy spoke again, he bit his tongue and held off on the question plaguing his mind.

‘What happened to youse?’

“Youse make good bread, I really liked the thing ya gave me.”

Eric lit up slightly at the comment, a small smile present underneath his hood. “Really…? Th-That’s good.”

“Youse got a lot of customers, then?” If he had the money and a good reputation he’d definitely be at the bakery everyday. The sweet bun he got was heavenly. Why, he’d kill to have another! And he just might, but he was holding off on that.

“Yeah, p-people seem to - to like my stuff… I think, at-at least.”

“I’m surprised there’s any left for ya pops.”

Immediately Eric’s expression fell at that comment. Yancy blinked in surprise as he hunched his shoulders and shivered slightly. “I… I make fresh s-stuff for him. He doesn’t - doesn’t like t-the bread th-that’s leftover.”

Yancy didn’t comment on that, only nodding and continuing their path. What Eric said left a suspicious feeling in his chest, but he’s only talked to this guy twice, best not to invade too much. Soon after, they arrived at the lodge house and Eric turned to Yancy, and expression of guilt apparent.

“I-I can’t, um, I can’t give you bread today,” he admitted. “My… dad doesn’t like it - h-he thought I a-ate his stuff.”

Yancy raised his eyebrows and tilted his head. “Youse didn’t eat it though? Tell ‘im that youse gave it to someone.”

“I did… he didn’t - he d-didn’t believe me.” He looked down and fiddled with his handkerchief. Then he looked back at Yancy with a shaky smile. “I-I can make you extra bread tomorrow, I-I swear!”

Yancy huffed, though he couldn’t bare any real malice at the other. “Alright, but youse better promise me.”

“I promise.”

There was a bad taste in Yancy’s mouth as he saw Eric enter the house. If he was any closer with him, he’d wouldn’t let him in that house, but he was he to say what he can or can’t do? He ignored any instincts bothering him and kept quiet. Eric was a nervous guy anyways, maybe he was worrying for nothing.

Oddly enough, he wanted to see him again, and not just for the bread rolls. Curiosity was a dangerous thing for a monster.

Time and time again, Yancy met up with Eric as he walked the path. The next time they saw each other, Eric was faring better and didn’t have a major limp. Yancy assumed that was an accident that he got injured that day.

Except that it wasn’t.

It was sporadic, but some days Eric would be more nervous and hesitant. Zoning out, scared, easily surprised. Spending every day with the guy made Yancy notice quick. However, he felt as though he shouldn’t intrude, he doesn’t know him that well after all. So he settled with what they had, bread rolls and nice talks about their lives. Or what Yancy made up about his, he can’t really say what he actually was now could he?

“Y-You really k-killed those monsters?” Eric asked awestruck.

A fearsome shadow creature cloaked in red and blue, form cracking with a desire for vengeance and pain, and hulking minotaur deceivingly chipper and colourful.

“Yeah, they’s put up a tough fight, but I got ‘em in the end.”

Yancy had a lovely dinner with them last night. If anything, their meal gave them a bit of a struggle, but that made for a fun chase and a satisfying resolution.

Today Eric was in a rush. Their pace was hurried though Eric never explained why it needed to be. Yancy told his fairytales right up until the last minute, but eventually they stood before that same old house. Eric looked at his father’s house for a moment, pressing his lips together in a tight line. He hesitated much more lately, he couldn’t help it. Snapping out of his thoughts, he reached in his basket and pulled out a freshly baked loaf of bread.

Yancy eagerly took the food, but also cast a concerned look to his friend. “Youse gonna be alright, pipsqueak?”

There were words stuck on Eric’s tongue. He could say so much, but he stopped himself. “It… i-it’s nothing! I-I’m getting kinda… kinda sick!” It didn’t look like Yancy believed his fake cough. Still, he stuck with his explanation, silently cursing his cowardice. “I-I’ll see you around.”

He didn’t give Yancy the chance to say goodbye and left quickly. That same bad feeling was present as Yancy watched him enter the house. He has never met his father, and Eric barely talked about him, so he was in the dark. It was too late to get Eric now, so he was going to talk about his strange behaviour tomorrow.

As walked back the trail, dead set on going back to his cave and enjoying his food. On the path, there was something yellow on the ground. Upon closer inspection, Yancy saw that it was Eric’s handkerchief.

‘Must’ve fell off,’ he thought to himself as he picked up the cloth. ‘I’ll give it to him tomorrow.’

Eric didn’t show up the next day.

It made Yancy restless. Why the hell happened to him? He’s dutiful on his task for his father, and he seemed in perfect health yesterday, so it was unlikely that he wasn’t here by his own accord. Something must’ve got him, but Yancy put in a good word to the other monsters not to hurt him. Hell, he ended up sharing his pastries with them, it couldn’t be them. That left him with very few options.

‘His dad… that fucker must’ve done something. I know it.’

He gripped Eric’s handkerchief tightly in his hands.

What started as him stalking another potential victim blossomed into something he couldn’t predict. Friendship. Yancy ended up caring for that shy bastard and now he wants to find him. His handkerchief was the map he needed.

Yancy’s monstrous curse could help him here. More trained canines had the gift of tracking people down by their scent, all they needed was an object close to their target. Yancy was no different. Even if he wasn’t in his wolf form his heightened senses could track down Eric’s trail. It lead him to the outskirts of the forest in a nearby town. A bakery to be exact.

The town was quiet, night time soon approaching as the sky darkened. Which meant it was near closing time for Eric. Usually he would have went to the forest hours before, but perhaps he was too busy with work. That’s what Yancy hoped at least. Yancy pushed the doors open, a chime above the doorway ringing throughout the shop, still no response. However, he knew Eric was here by his scent.

“Eric? Youse alright?” He began to make his way towards the kitchen. “Youse dropped your handkerchief so I, uh… asked around and found your bakery.”

Again, no response. At this point Yancy felt the pit in his stomach punch him in the gut as he stepped closer to the kitchen. As he opened the doors the atmosphere was off. The air was hot from the ovens working, and the counters were messy with flour and other ingredients.

There were still no sight of Eric in the kitchen, but after a quick search he found him. However, Eric was in a state that made his blood boil. Eric was in a heap on the floor, hiding behind a counter and curled up on himself, barely awake and sobbing weakly.

Quickly, Yancy crouched down. “Holy shit,” he exclaimed, breathless with surprise. “What happened to youse?!” He rolled Eric over on his back and got a good look at him. Sweat matted Eric’s messy hair on his forehead, his breathing was faint and raspy, and tears stained his face. Eric only acknowledged Yancy with a quiet groan and blinked slowly at him.

“Who did this?” Yancy growled. Eric shook his head and tried to curl in on himself again. Yancy wouldn’t allow that, he cupped Eric’s face and made him look at him. “I’m going to help youse, hold on.” He picked him up bridal style and walked out of the kitchen. There was a sitting booth in the main shop, so he laid him down there. Questions of all sorts where thrown at Eric, but he wasn’t in the right mind to answer.

“I-It was - It was really hot and-and I felt f-funny… th-then I was - I-I was on the floor…” Eric slurred through his words. A broken sob interrupted his train of thought, making him groan and clutch his stomach. “It-It hurts… It h-hurts so much…” he mindlessly whimpered.

The shivering and beaten down sight of his friend made Yancy see red. “Tell me who hurt youse.” His tone was stern and seethed through snarled teeth.

Eric whimpered louder and covered his face at the demand. Eventually, however, he raised his shaky form up and sat somewhat upright. Yancy helped support him as he looked around, but then he froze.

“I-It’s night time…?” He stared out the window like the world was ending. “N-No…” he shook his head, “No, no, no! I’m - I’m late! I… I can’t be - I c-can’t-” He tried to get up. Yancy got up too and was quick enough to catch him as his legs buckled and he collapsed. He’s never heard someone cry harder, unfiltered sobs echoed within the quiet night as Eric shuddered in his arms.

“I can’t be late, I can’t…! My-My dad, h-he’s gonna - please le-lemme go,” Eric tried to escape Yancy’s hold on him to no avail. He tried to push himself further away from Yancy’s chest, only showing the pure fear clouding his teary eyes. “I can’t - can’t be late, please s-stop. Please… pl-please lemme go…” He didn’t make sense anymore, but Yancy heard all he needed.

“I can take ya home. Where do youse live?”

“No, I can’t-”

“Eric, you’re not going back there.” Yancy cut him off, eyes stern as his tone. “If youse want, I can give your pops the bread.” There was immense joy in the fact that he was lying. “You’s going home.”

It took a bit of convincing, but with Yancy’s persistence and Eric’s delirious state, Yancy found out where his friend lived. He carried Eric the whole way and eventually made it to a cozy lodge house in town similar to Eric’s father’s. However, this place felt much safer.

Eric could barely unlock the door, but eventually Yancy took him to his room. By the time he hit his bed he was out like a light, exhausting himself by crying. Yancy watched as he curled in on himself as he slept. Guard completely down and incredibly frail looking, Yancy could even see the peaks of bruises as his shirt slightly revealed his stomach. An easy target. Yancy found himself hating that fact. He pulled the blankets over Eric’s form and left with a plan in mind.

The night was quiet for Derek. Everything right down to his silent rage. A part of him hoped that Eric died and that was the explanation for him not being here. Death would be a better fate than what he had in store.

A wolf’s howl sounded off in the distance.

Derek stilled, looking out his window. Any apprehension was quickly shaken off and dismissed, however. There was probably a hunt going on. He continued about his night until there was a strong knock on his door. Immediately, he assumed it was Eric. That boy never missed a day, after all, he wasn’t allowed to.

Slowly, he got up from his chair and went to the door.

‘What a strong knock Eric has…’ Derek shook his head as he scowled. ‘Must be because he’s in a rush.’ He looked out the window and saw Eric completely covered in his red hood. He couldn’t even see his face under the fabric.

‘What a hulky form under his hood…’ Derek blinked rapidly as he reached for the doorknob. ‘The night is playing tricks on my eyes.’

“Hey dad, I’ve got your grub,” a strong, steady voice called out to him. Abnormally confident.

‘What a deep voice he has…’ The door was opened as he pondered to himself. He stood before the hooded figure with expectancy. ‘Has he got a cold?’

Derek gasped as “Eric” unveiled his hood. “You’re not my son?!”

Yancy growled. “Youse don’t deserve the right to call him that.”

Eric had to stay home for the next few days, but luckily Yancy was there to check up on him.

There was a knock on the door.

Yancy got up to answer the door and was met with a frantic messenger.

“Where’s Eric?!” She had widened eyes and was frantic. Yancy had to stop her from actually entering the home in her panic.

“Calm down,” he snapped, placing firm hands on her shoulders. “Eric’s upstairs resting, I’m taking care of him. What’s goin’ on?”

After a few deep breaths, the woman steadied her voice the best she could and spoke in a fearful tone. “It’s his father, Derek. He was killed,” she sounded remorseful. Instantly, Yancy knew that no one knew how Derek treated Eric. “They say a… a-a werewolf did it.”

Yancy expected the crime scene to be found quicker. It wasn’t a pretty one, bloodied and with distant claw marks no other animal could mimic.

“I’ll break the news to him,” he murmured, managing to muster up a somber attitude. Shortly after the woman left, he huffed to himself and paced in the empty room. Eric was upstairs resting, actually relaxing during his slow physical and mental healing process. This news would complicate this process surely.

Did he regret what he did?

No.

His grim attitude instantly turned the atmosphere cold. Eric put down the book he was reading and stared at him with concern. He wasn’t sure what reaction to expect when he told Eric the news.

It was silent. Eric’s gaze was distant, staring at nothing in particular. His lips were parted ever so slightly, but no words were muttered. No tears, no frantic reactions. Nothing. His mind buzzed with questions. ‘What am I going to do? What should I do? Is this real?’

‘Why am I not sad?’

“D-Did… Did they c-catch the-the werewolf?”

Yancy stared at the fear present in Eric’s eyes. He stared at the man that trusted him so much, and he shook his head. “They’s didn’t catch ‘em. Not that I know of.”

“Oh…” Eric brought his knees to his chest and buried his face. Tears began to build up in his eyes as the weight of the situation finally crushed him. “Yancy, wh-what am I gonna - gonna do?”

Eric let Yancy coax him into a gentle embrace. He weakly wrapped his arms around Yancy’s torso as he cried into his shoulder. Never before has Yancy treated someone so carefully, he muttered reassurances as he pet Eric’s head. “It’s alright, you’ll get through this.” He looked at his own hands, the same hands that ripped away someone’s life from their desperate grasps. He could remember the blood, he could remember everything. However, he didn’t feel as though he killed a human. It felt as though he was killing a monster.

“W-What if the were-werewolf f-finds me and… a-and kills me? Or-Or you?!”

“Don’t worry, Eric. I’ll protect youse.” Yancy held the shivering man tighter. He leaned down and buried his head in his shoulder and neck, silently claiming him in a vow in his mind. Other monsters will know to fuck off from this human. “I’ll protect youse.”

Derek will be the last monster to hurt Eric

#yancy #ahwm yancy #eric derekson #derek derekson #markiplier #markiplier egos #fanfic

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meteor752 · 4 years

Text

Dragonlings

YEP I AM TALKING ABOUT LOTR DRAGONS AGAIN, NO ONE CAN STOP ME

This is once again about the dragon curse, and more specifically about the time between normal person and full on dragon.

The state of transforming from person to dragon, fully depends on the size of the dragon. For example, it would take around 400-500 years to turn into a Fire dragon, while only around fifty to turn into a spike dragon.

And for the dragon we do not name, it would take a couple of thousand years, but every one of those dragon slayers killed themselved before it.

A dragonling can be killed by a normal person, but they heal pretty fast, and the longer you wait the more scales there will be, and those are tough to pierce.

When you kill yourself however, the dragon curse will be lifted, and you will just die. Pretty unsatisfying way to go, but hey what are you gonna do?

The first thing to happen to a dragon slayer is that scales will appear around their neck area, and they will slowly spread down your back. When the scales have reached the bottom, they will start to etend beyond your body, creating a tail.

When the tail had started to grow, small bumps will appear on the persons shoulder blades, and after a while wings will pierce your skin, which is the most painful part of a Dragonling’s life.

Again, the bigger the dragon, the longer time it will take. For a forest dragonling, it would be a couple of months, maybe a year, of constant pain, while a Mountain dragonling would have to endure it for more then a decade.

And when I say pain, I mean pain.

Like, take the pain of childbirth, multiply it by five, and then put it on your back for a year or ten.

Around halfway through the process of wings, horns will start to grow out of some dragonlings, like Sky dragonlings or Mountain Dragonlings. This will be a lot less painful.

Spike dragonlings, who only have to stand the pain of the wings for a month, will also have their spike growing out of their body during this time.

When all of the painful part is out of the way, a Dragonling doesn’t have any big physical changes until they fully turn into a dragon. Like yea, the scales will continue to spread from your back down you legs and to your chest, but the wings are the worst part.

Except for Water dragonlings, who will have their back legs merge when the scales has reached their feet, and will be unable to fully breathe above water as gills replace their lungs, which is also a very painful process.

A dragonling don’t act very different from what the dragon slayer usually behaved like, or at least for the most part. When a Dragonling feel like either they or their treasure is threatened, they go into something that is commonly called “The Beast Mode”.

The beast mode is basically when a Dragonling goes on instincts and instincts alone, making them basically an animal for a while. When the threat is taken out, and with taken out I mean killed and eaten, they will be kind of like a dog for a while if they trust you.

They’ll jump around, growl at random things, wag their tail a little, it’s all pretty cute.

If they don’t trust you however, well then you’re dead boy.

The beast mode can last for as short as a day or two, or as long as three weeks. And the Dragonling have no idea what they’re doing while in the beast mode, they just wake up, often in a pile of blood, and can only pray that they haven’t killed that many people.

A fascinating thing about dragonlings is their fascination with Rosemary. If the Rosemary smell managed to get in contact with their nose, then it’s all over for them.

They will just grab the Rosemary, even if they have to kill someone to get it, curl up in a ball and hold it close to their nose just to sniff it.

It’s a bit like catnip, but for dragons. Dragonnip.

And it’s not easy to get the Rosemary away from the dragonling, you have to basically pry it out of their grip while they snark and bite your hand, and then get it as far away from them as possible.

The wings of a Dragonling can tell you a lot about their mood, it’s sort of like the tail of a dog.

For example, small flutters of their wings signify happiness or excitement, if a dragonling randomly flares their wingspan, it’s basically the equivalent of men flexing their muscles to impress a possible mate, and if the Dragonling is a bit horny, their wing muscles can suddenly go stiff, sort of like a wing boner.

A Dragonling’s diet at first consists of what the person would normally eat, but a bit into the transformation they will start craving real meat, preferably that they have killed themselves. Some Dragonlings get disgusted by this and tries to avoid it, but everyone eventually breaks and starts to kill everything from small animals to creatures like bears or elks.

The Dragonlings general behavior will eventually change after about three thirds of their dragon transformation is complete.

A Fire Dragonling will get more angry and irritated, a Forest Dragonling will snarl at people and stop being around people, a Swamp Dragonling will get more lazy and start to eat more (because Swamp Dragons are chonky boys) and a Venom Dragonling will be more excited to meet people.

It’s about this time when you should end it, if you’re planning to do so.

If you don’t, then you should know what really happens when you turn from a Dragonling to a dragon.

Most people think that when you turn into a dragon, you will just be a large greedy reptile, and that’s it.

That’s not it.

The transformation into a dragon is a very painful process, like take the wing growth times eleven, though it is shorter.

You get fully surrounded by dragon fire, which, depending on the dragon, can be hot, and your limbs will change from human/elf/whatever-like to a reptile. That’s not easy, but it only takes a few minutes.

But when the dragon fire disappears, left is only a dragon with a broken mind.

A dragon has no memory of their previous life as first a normal middle earthian, and then a Dragonling. They rely on instincts alone, though in a more civilized way than the beast mode of a Dragonling.

Not all dragons can speak, despite common belief. Only Fire dragons, Forest Dragons, Venom dragons, Swamp dragons and sky dragons are capable of speech.

A Water dragon can sing however, which is a way they attract mates.

Fire and sky dragons both have full vocabularies, while Forest dragons mostly snarl out a “Go Away!” and little else, Swamp dragons chooses not too speak that much because they busy nappin, and Venom Dragons mostly just make excited squels and dad whines, though the occasional “Friend!” can come out.

Newly transformed Dragons are often the most aggressive and ready to burn stuff, while those who have been dragons for a while is just chillin’. Smaug for example was just a few days old when he took Erebor, and he was just mostly confused and craving gold.

A little known ability of Dragons, is that they can actually turn back into a Dragonling if so desired.

They are still technically a dragon, they still don’t remember their lives as a Dragonling, but they are back to that form.

Most dragons just chooses not to do that though, as it makes them vulnerable to attacks, and make them physically weaker.

•

At this point, I feel like a biologist who’s studying dragons, which is my dream job tbh

I seriously had no idea how to finish this post, so I just ended it there.

Again, thanks to @a-e-g-g and my own dear uncle for the help.

AU Masterpost

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