#only one of them is like.. im actively working on it lol bc i CARE...

[e-m-ma-lmfao]

HII im a huge fan of ur writing and ur one of the few final fantasy writers on here thats active 😭😭 i was hoping i could request some zack fair fluff? like before the events of crisis core, maybe he accidentally gets himself sick during work and angeal knows he'll just keep showing up for work bc he wants the promotion to first class so bad, so he gets zacks childhood bestfriend (reader) to go keep an eye on him and make sure he actually rests lol. zack keeps insisting hes ok but reader is having none of it and takes care of him, which eventually leads to a confession bc zack doesnt understand why reader cares so much and it just leads to everything coming out. i hope that made sense lol this is my first request :) dont feel pressured to do this of course!!!

Since We Were Kids

pairing : zack fair x (female) reader

summary : zack is determined to reach first class. so much so that he will push through one of the most debilitating cold's he's ever had. angeal attempts to get him home, calling in zacks childhood best friend for help.

“Angeal! Come on! You know how important this is to me..” Zack lets out a pitiful whine, attempting to persuade his superior, before his whine turns into a horrific coughing fit. He doesn’t have to look up now that Angeal’s face has made no changes, he is stoic and his decision is final, Zack will not be staying for work this week. 

“You can take a week off.. Besides you're of no use to anybody with the state you're in. Go home, get some rest.”

“Fine..” 

“I mean it Zack..” 

“Yeah..yeah..i heard ya.” Zack crosses his arms, heavy sigh passing through his lips, eyebrows furrowing as he walks away from where Angeal stands. He was barely sick..a little cough wasn’t gonna hold him back from becoming a first class SOLDIER.

Zack barely lasts 20 minutes away from his training before his sword is back in his hands. His constant coughing fits are feeling him with annoyance but he powers through them to continue swinging away with the chunk of metal in his hands. 

But why was he so tired? He usually had so much energy. Why was his sword so hard to carry? It never had been before.. 

And why did it feel like someone's hand was on his shoulder? “Zack!”

He jumps away when there is suddenly shouting coming from beside him, his head pounding in a way that wasn't noticeable until this moment, “Angeal! Hey pal..what’re you..uh..doing here?”

“What’re you doing here? I told you to go home.” 

“I can’t go home, this is too important, I’m not even that sick..” Even Zack’s faith in the statement is beginning to falter, especially when his eyes become blurry from the dizziness pooling at the front of his head. 

“Go home.” 

“No way!” Zack expects Angeal to disagree again but he doesn’t, he actually doesn't say anything, he just walks away. It’s so out of character that Zack debates just listening to him and leaving so he doesn’t get demoted, but he decides against it and continues to practice while sweat pools on his skin. 

It doesn’t take long for Angeal to return, Zack isn't worried when he hears his heavy footsteps from down the hallway, but he is unaware of the other pair of feet following close behind.

At this point, Zack is just staying for spite, his body is exhausted and he is barely swinging his sword, and his coughing fits are becoming more frequent to the point where he has to stop moving to take deep breaths. 

“Zack. Enough is enough. Your friend can take you home now.”

“Huh?” Zack turns and almost starts coughing again, but only because the breath hitches in his throat, you shouldn’t be here, you shouldn’t be seeing him like this. It’s pitiful, his inability to stay strong for training is embarrassing, and your gaze full of pity isn;t helping in the way it usually does. 

“She’s taking you home.” Zack opens his mouth to argue once more but Angeal has had enough, “No arguing. My decision is final, if I see you here again before I say you can return I will demote you myself, good luck reaching first class then..”

Zack looks defeated but he closes his mouth, and drops his sword with a loud clang, before trudging towards your side with his arms crossed tightly. His mannerisms make a giggle slip out of you, he looks like a child, but you quickly mask it as a cough when he shoots you a serious glare. Also reminiscent of a child but if you laughed again he might punch you. 

He isn’t happy about having to leave, especially being escorted out by a lady half his size, but he doesn’t make any complaints when you intertwine your arm in his to keep him stable. 

“I’m fine, y’know. I’m only going home because Angeal made me.” You nod along with him as he talks, hiding the disbelief running through your head. God was this kid stubborn, but it made you happy to know that his training hadn't changed the way he was when you were kids.  

“Zack, you need to rest..” 

“I need to reach first class.” 

“How do you expect to do that if you can’t even hold your sword up, dork.” His face scrunches up, but to your surprise he doesn’t pull his body away, he actually does the opposite and pulls your arm closer to his body. He’s using you to hold up a large amount of his body weight, but you allow him as long as he needs. 

When you finally reach Zack’s home, it takes more effort to get him into bed then you’d care to admit, he truly acts like a child insisting that he ‘doesn’t need to get any sleep because he feels perfectly fine’ followed by a coughing fit and him having to sit down because he feels dizzy. You promise him the soup that he likes if he gets into bed, to which he begrudgingly agrees to. 

After practically forcing food down his throat, he finally allows himself to be tired and his head falls back onto the pillows. You place a cold cloth on his forehead, after feeling it with your own hands and deciding that his fever might only be worsening. How’d he keep training while being this sick? 

You watch as he dozes off, you can tell he is trying to stay awake so he doesn’t fully admit that he is sick, but his body is taking over. He finally looks at peace, even though his hair is sticking to his forehead and his breathing is heavy, at least he’s getting some rest.

You plan on leaving, really you do, but you get so caught up in the image of him sleeping that you find your own eyes falling closed, head resting by his side against the bed. 

When your eyes open again it’s dark outside, you can’t tell how long you’ve been sitting with him but from the darkness pouring into the room, it’s longer then you meant for. You worry for a moment, worry that you’ve overstayed your welcome and that Zack got up hours ago to sleep away from you, but when you turn the lamp on beside his bed you find him in the same spot you’d left him. 

You’re greedy with how you look at him, you miss being so close to him. The proximity makes you realize how much you’ve missed him since he started his training, you hardly see him. And you wish the circumstances for finally seeing him again weren't because he was sick, and rather because he actually wanted to see you. But you’d take any time you could get with your best friend. 

He stirs suddenly and you let your hand fall on top of his, tangling your fingers in his, as a way to bring him some comfort in his sleep. His skin is warm and clammy, heating up your hands, it should be gross but the feeling of his hand in yours fills your stomach with a flurry of butterflies.

Slowly, his eyes flutter open and you can tell he is dazed, the way he scans the room to gather his surroundings before landing on you once more confirms your thoughts. 

“Y/n?” Zack’s voice is hoarse, causing him to clear his throat before he continues talking, “What’re you still doing here? How long have you been here?”

For a minute your heart pumps inside your chest faster than before, nervousness building in your stomach, “I’m sorry..I fell asleep a couple..hours ago I think. I didn’t want to leave right away in case you woke up again but I never meant to fall asleep.” 

“Why’re you apologizing..” His fingers, which you had forgotten were tangled in your own, tense against your skin and tighten their grip on your hand. 

“Sorry..” 

Your second apology causes him to let out a laugh. A laugh that immediately has him sitting up because he coughs so hard his lungs hurt, and he squeezes your hand tighter in his lap while he tries to catch a breath. 

When he finally catches a break, taking deep breaths while your hand slides up and down his back, he looks at you pitifully, “You’re gonna get sick..go home.” 

“You're crazy if you think I'm going home. I’m not leaving, who’s gonna take care of you?” 

“I can take care of myself, you know..”

“This is news to me.” You raise an eyebrow at him, to which he responds by sticking his tongue out tiredly. He can’t even retort like he usually does. He doesn't have the energy to argue and tell you to leave so you don’t get sick, Zack isn’t even sure he wants you to leave anymore. 

“You don’t have to stay..” 

“I want to, Zack. I care about you.” You can’t tell if his cheeks were already flushed or if they suddenly became red as you spoke to him, but either way you were sure your face was mirroring his.  

He falls back onto the pillows, asking you quietly if you'll get him some water and another blanket before he gets the chills, and you happily oblige. Even while he’s sick, he is able to feel content and you’re happy to be the reason. 

Zack's fingers find your hand again, squeezing gently as you sit on the chair beside him, “..Training is kicking my ass.” 

“Yeah..but I’m sure it’ll be all worth it eventually,” You try not to let his spirits get down especially while he is in such a tired state, his training put on pause because of his sickness, and you ponder telling him more, “I miss you, you know..a lot.”

A small smile appears on his face, eyes puffy and bags under his eyes, and he looks towards you, “Yeah?” 

You can only nod, embarrassed by his lack of affirmation that he has felt the same over the months he’s been training. 

“I missed you too..” And the embarrassment flees from your body instantaneously, while his thumb rubs over the top of your knuckles. 

The two of you sit in silence for a while, him playing with your knuckles as he tries to hold back the aggressive coughs that threaten to leave his mouth. His head is pounding, and he should feel like shit, but he truly can’t bring himself to when you're looking into his eyes all concerned and you’re letting him play with your hands with no complaints.

“Why’d you stay?” His voice startles you, and you try to pretend that you weren't staring at him and admiring every detail of his face. 

“I already told you..” You roll your eyes, letting out a huff before leaning on the palm of your hand, in all honesty you were ready to doze off while Zack looked around your hands and face. 

“No..no..why’d you stick around?” His question confuses you and you have to think about what he might mean and then it clicks. You hadn’t realized that he might be aware of how much time his training takes up. It hadn’t occurred to you that Zack could focus on anything but becoming first class.

He’d been neglecting your friendship, but when Angeal rang and asked you to pick Zack up you agreed without hesitation, you forgot instantly about how angry his schedule made you. 

You’re not sure how to answer him. You could tell him the truth, that you had been madly in love with your black haired friend since you were children.

Or you could continue to lie, and claim that you had only stayed around because of your long lasting friendship that had absolutely no underlying romantic feelings that neither one of you could talk about. 

“C’mon Zack..” 

He stares into your eyes, right through you. He knows, he already knows, you don’t have to say anything to him. As he looks at you, he's pleading with you to admit it to him and it makes your stomach crawl with nervousness. 

“Y’know I’d do anything for you..been like that since we were kids.” His eyebrows furrow at your attempt to dodge an admission that you hadn’t been prepared for an hour ago, you still weren't ready to admit to him that you were in love with him. 

“Y/n..do you love me?” 

Again silence fills the room and you’re unsure what to say to the expectant boy. You think, for a second, that he's joking. But his eyes are filled with such sincerity and genuine interest. He wants to know, and he doesn't seem to care if his question comes off bluntly.

When you don’t immediately respond he continues in your place, “Because I think I’m in love with you and I know I’d do anything for you. And I think you feel the same way. I can’t think of any other reason why you wouldn't ignore Angeal’s call, and tell me to deal with this by myself. I know I haven't been around like I should be. But you’re here anyway..”

“Zack please..of course I do. Been like that since we were kids,” You smile softly, repeating yourself and look down at your entangled hands.

He doesn’t let that allow that for very long before he is grabbing your chin to turn your head to face him once more, “I’m not gonna kiss you, because I don't want you getting sick. But I promise you, as soon as this sickness is gone I’m gonna be all over you..” 

Even though his words, words you would've never expected to hear when you dragged him into his room just hours earlier, send a nervous shiver down your body you still find a way to tease him, “Careful Zack. Get too excited and your lungs might act up again.”

“Can I ask you to stay the night?” 

How could you ever say no. 

“Of course, Zack, anything for my first class SOLDIER.” 

[blue-jisungs]

hi axe! hope you’re doing okay!

i was wondering, if you could recommend/assign one of your fics to each of your moots, which ones would you choose?

take care!

ONGOMTOMEHWOWNWKSJQKWKWKW IM WAS DOINT GOOD BUT NOW IM DOING BETTER BC ANON RHIS IS SUCH A CUTE IDEA WHAAAAT :((( TYSM ILY MWAH !!!!!!! i tried to do most of my moots but im so so sorry if u dont see urself here :(

@slytherinshua zanna zanzan.. you would be [6:27am] , so a huening kai timestamp! i know its short :( but its so soft and peacful, it kinda just has ur vibes?? the piano, kai himself, the sleepyness hehe.... and it was my first ever timestamp so if we wanna get philosophical,, it could also symbolise the fact i was ur 1st followed blog (ill never shut up abt this bye)

@l3visbby mother ud be......... leg day with changbin. im so biased but. but. its goofy, a lil suggestive but also the comfort of it just reminds me of u hehe

@planetkiimchi mattress testing with jisung!!! it was one of my first works w ji (so its also kinda cringey, i apologise) but its so sweet tbh, just like u hehe plus that sillyness hehehehe

@fairyhaos are we surprised i gave u a joshua fic? absolutely not. sunday morning... is so soft :") and the coffee shop au too <//3 its so joshu coded lets be real.... but kinda, so are you? all gentle and so so sweet... can be scary too but pffff rare occurence

@weird-bookworm lol kyky.... arguing about paying with bts!!! its one of the silliest things ive wrote lol so it fits ur tricky, gremlin-y personality heheheeh

@mirxzii okay i know its kinda boring since it was ur req... but its just so... you,, yknow? speaking your native language in their presence with seventeen because you love languages,, and the piece just has a special place in my heart (just like u)

@etherealyoungk again im so so biased w this one ... but! not yet, a hoshi imagine </3 its so sweet actually (pt2 too hehe), and and my first ever hoshi fic :( the mc is smart and reasonable (like u) wheres we also have a cute and lil drunk and very much whipped tiger...!!! hoshi is hoshing and thats so skye.

@ddeonudepressions them flirting with you at the game caterers2022 with enha!!! its silly goofy and filrty... like u............ also i miss u pls come home the kids miss u too

@malarign very much inspired by ur last message but LE(t's) GO with heeseung !!!!!!!!!!!! the playful vibes = you frfr!!! and its so so bf coded i think ud enjoy it!!!

@enluv sigh cocour me n ur love for father figures made me thnk ant this onme deeply so i eventually decided on old people activities with the one and only namjoon!! its my fav thing ive wrote for him, and its :( idk i had fun writing it and so do i when im talking to u teehee

@rubywonu okay this one is a lil,, more like comfort but ?? childish joy with nonu my beloved.... this fic has a special place in my heart (so do u teehee) but also,, i feel the vibes kinda fit u :")

@wheeboo rania.... rania rania rania......... i was thinking of giving u some angst (which i dont really have but lets ignore that) BUT then it clicked. soup&&confession with jeonghan! its a bit angsty,hurt2comfort, nursing, e2l.... whatt do u want more!!!! and also jeonghan himself reminds me of u ?? (mischievous but also somehow an angel pffff)

@wqnwoos okay listen i always feel amazed by hana's works so i can only recommend a fic thats good (i think) and that i actually like LMAO so that would be infinity w vamp!wonu :D its kinda dramatic lol but im proud of this one hehe

@hannieheartuu YLLI !!!! i wanted to recommend a chan fic bc, haha,, hes a maknae and u r younger than me aha,, ha,, and u also have the same vibes BUT. buut. theres a dk fic that i really love and its kinda silly but i feel like its not getting enough recognition LMAO so!! dokyeom junior the seventh teehee

@icyminghao noelle. u r getting one of my favs !!! zzz... with taehyun <3 itsSDFGHJDRFTGYHUHGFDS i love it. im so humble i know but its really great :D the soft sleepy vibes :(( i think ud like it!!

@txt-yaomi okay i kinda... struggled. but lemme explain my thought process: you remind me of yeonjun -> yeonjun is flirty -> no napkins (no problem). boom. amzaing, i know. its short but hes so...... sigh. i love him.

@eternalgyu hannie u remind me of niki so amongst my um library for this goofy guy ive chosen y/n's protection squad which is like one of the most chaotic things i wrote for him lol!! chaotic and mischievous ... like u >:)

[oscconfessions]

i have an object show comic, not saying its name cuz some ppl will know who i am and im on anon to avoid causing any problems lol, but yeah i have an object comic. and i lowkey get irritated at my own fans sometimes. and i feel bad about it but i cant help it. its a very very small fanbase, yet i feel like most of the people in it dont really appreciate the characters unless they find them attractive. and people mostly tend to be attracted to the male characters... so the female characters excluding the one everyone unanimously agrees is hot rarely get any attention. including the main character- i feel like i have to just play along with it but it genuinely does upset me, a LOT. i feel like i should be glad i get any attention for my work at all,, and i feel like i have no right to be upset when im openly okay with NSFW and even have 18+ channels in my server for it,,, hell, the one character everyone agrees is hot was designed specifically to BE hot, for the sake of a horror trope. but sometimes i wonder if the attention is worth it if people only seem to care about it because of the characters being "fuckable". i put a lot of passion into what i write but none of that matters unless someone wants to put their dick in one of the characters!!!!!!!!!!! it kind of demotivates me. i want to just ignore everyone and make this thing for myself, not even be active in the server, just mute it, because engaging too much with my fans is fucking draining bc of this, as rude as that might sound. sigh i just needed to get that off my chest

.

[rollercoasterwords]

hi rae, i was wondering if there was any specific reason for y regulus is the first one to leave/rebel in atwmd, and sirius being the one who is the most dedicated to being a death eater, bc their roles r inversed from what they r in canon, and im curious if there is a reason y u chose to do that or it was just something that worked better for the narrative (just to be clear bc the marauders fandom is a bit weird, this is a genuine question, im not shitting on your characterization)

lol appreciate the clarification dw tho i get what ur asking! it's mostly explained in the fic in pt ii + the reg pov ch, but happy 2 summarize & explain the thought process etc.

atp i no longer remember if i was planning 2 have reg be working w the order or just be dead when i first started the fic, but i decided pretty early on that i wanted him 2 have a locket-arc similar 2 canon & to be seemingly dead when the fic begins bc i love giving s a dead brother <3 & from there i decided it would work better 2 have him secretly be alive + joined up w the order bc that helps explain how s comes around 2 working w them. so then i had 2 figure out how 2 make that fit both their characters!

the thing abt this fic is that i'm still writing it trying 2 preserve like...what i personally view as the characters' core traits/key parts of their personalities from canon, just transplanted into a completely different world. so s is actually still less dedicated 2 the d.e. than reg in this fic; s is essentially forced 2 join the d.e. the way that some parents ship their gay kids off 2 military school (in the u.s. at least), but bc of the way he was coerced into it he resents the d.e. from the beginning & even tho he's internalized many of the prejudices he grew up with he still has a pretty strong moral compass that creates this ongoing internal conflict w what he's doing. at the same time, the power he gets from becoming a higher-ranking d.e. is what allows him 2 then go let loose & like...fuck around + be gay, essentially, without fear of repercussions, bc he can basically do whatever he wants in private (even if it becomes a bit of an open secret) as long as he's got this scary public-facing persona. so he chafes against pureblood society more throughout childhood + into adulthood, but he's also powerful + charming + able 2 succeed in that world.

reg, on the other hand, doesn't rebel the same way s does growing up + kinda flies under the radar, which would be fine in theory--except reg does want 2 be powerful + recognized, & he develops this sort of inferiority complex + almost resentment of his brother in some ways. that's why he compares s 2 a sponge in his pov ch; even tho s kind of protects reg growing up by taking up their parents' negative attention, he also soaks up all the positive attention, and reg ends up feeling forgotten. as they get older, this same dynamic is echoed in school, where s gets shit on 4 being gay but also is undeniably magnetic + talented, and reg doesn't understand why his brother can't just be normal bc he'd be so popular if he didn't insist on like. being so open abt who he is. & then s joins the d.e. + suddenly he's like this entirely different person & everyone is scared + in awe of him, and he doesn't have time 4 reg anymore. & even tho reg has resented him 4 soaking up all the attention, s is also the only person who's actually paid attention 2 reg in turn, and suddenly that's gone, and he feels even more invisible. so he goes + does this fancy difficult alchemy program but even then nobody seems 2 care, so he finally decides 2 join the d.e. himself bc he wants 2 become a powerful + noticeable person the same way his brother is.

so as in canon, reg actively decides 2 join the d.e. in this fic, and wants 2 be there. but when he joins s pulls the same old trick: he starts soaking up all the attention, suddenly becoming one of voldemort's best soldiers. & for s he's trying 2 protect his brother from being noticed + used for horrible things, but bc he's doing such a good job of it reg doesn't even know what he's being protected from, and he resents s 4 stealing the spotlight again. so reg decides he'll have 2 get voldemort's attention some other way, & he starts paying really close attention 2 things + picking up information he probably shouldn't, which leads 2 him figuring out about the horcruxes on his own--but through that process, he realizes how stupid he's been 2 join the d.e. & like...the depths of depravity in the organization, & ironically by trying 2 impress voldemort he's learned way too much & essentially doomed himself, bc he knows voldemort will kill him if he finds out, and he will find out eventually. so in his frustration + hopelessness reg decides "fuck it if i'm gonna die i'm gonna go out swinging" & goes after the horcrux on his own, & that's when the order intercedes bc they've been after this same horcrux, & james saves his life, & then he's like hey wanna join the order. & reg is like well. what else am i gonna do i basically need 2 kill voldemort now if i ever want 2 show my face in britain again.

so even tho this leads 2 reg rebelling + joining the order rather than s, the roles aren't actually meant 2 be inverse to canon! in fact, the reason s doesn't rebel is largely bc he's trying 2 protect his brother, and then once reg is dead he's just kinda going thru the motions. he's a product of his environment & so there's only so far his questioning goes; he disagrees w a lot of pureblood society but doesn't really question the foundational assumptions (wizards + muggles are inherently different; wizards r superior 2 muggles) + still goes along w the path of least resistance even when it eats at him, etc. but ironically from the pov of basically anyone who didn't grow up w them it seems like reg rebelled + joined the order, even tho reg was the one who actually wanted 2 join the d.e. (unlike s!) so their actions kinda flip-flop, but their motivations remain the same as in (my interpretation of) canon: reg decides 2 join the d.e. + then changes his mind + works against them; s acts out against his family + gets punished for it + ends up doing his best 2 protect those he's loyal to + himself--only in this world, when he acts out + gets punished there's nowhere 4 him 2 turn, and the main person he's loyal to is reg, so he has 2 figure out how 2 protect himself & his brother as a d.e. fun!

[straycalamities]

Oh my okay I've got several... no I've got plenty of questions abt Truffula Flu lol

So... I'll ask all I remembered I wanted to ask, I hope it won't be too much..

1. Why guns aren't allowed in camp Entre? Maybe I skipped few posts, but I didn't see explanation for this one

2. About zombie mutations. Is they're really become stronger or is it just Rocky and Entre become weaker cuz of their illnesses?

3. Swags mod said that Swag would probably leave camp and die somewhere in quite place, while trying to survive. Why would he leave people that he cares about? Im a little bit dumb and don't exactly understand his planned ending 8(

4. There was a moment when One-ler tried to convince Bitter to put him out of his misery, but he escaped that. And I was curious, if he actually killed him then, would Entre blame himself for that? And if so, would it be worse then he blamed himself when he killed Bitter by his own hands?

5. After Rockys planned death, would Swag blame Entre for this? I mean, emotionally shocked, blame him again about this apocalypse stuff, that Rocky wouldn't die if he wasn't infected and etc.

I hope I made myself clear cuz I dunno how to put some questions ughh😭😭

And again Im sorry if its too much questions!

PHEW THAT IS A CHUNKY LIST. i love it

1. guns are loud and the infected are drawn to loud noises so if you shot a gun you’d be ringing the dinner bell basically. i feel like maybe we touched on it directly? but if i’m wrong it’s probably bc it’s a common thing brought up in zombie apocalypse stories so we might’ve assumed ppl just Knew why none of them used or wanted to use a gun

2. they do become stronger! i actually have a whole list of mutations (and more can be added as ppl come up with them! it’s open lore basically)

i made a whole google doc explaining the actual truffula flu and the symptoms, risks, etc (content warning for if you’re sensitive to medical discussion?? i don’t know how to word it but i wrote it like ur typical online disease info page. also content warning for zombies bc. it’s entirely abt zombification.)

rocky and entre being weakened definitely didn’t help their situation but yes. it’s mainly bc the spiky zombie is faster and stronger than ur typical sort

3. this is kinda hard for me to answer bc i’m not the one who originally wrote it. i don’t rly know why it was planned for it to go like that. i guess out of irony? i know the original plan was for swag to be the sole survivor at the end, but that kinda clashed w other plans so it was changed. so maybe this was the compromise to that

i will say tho that. things had been discussed since that post was made and his story goes differently than was broadcasted. howso? you’ll just have to see :)

4. yes, entre still would’ve blamed himself because ultimately: this is all his fault. regardless of who dies how or where. they wouldn’t be in that situation if it weren’t for him. especially if it’s connected directly with the infection. especially if it’s right in front of him where he can’t ignore it

he wouldn’t have been AS devastated by bitters death if he weren’t the one that had to kill him tho, because the thing is: that was the first time entre had directly killed someone who was still “alive” (unless i’m forgetting some obscure shit i did or said idk it’s been over a decade) and not only that, it was someone who was still his friend despite what he’d done? and even more layers: he had worked so hard to get bitter to come out of his shell prior to the infection and actually be his friend and then this happens. and he has to be the one to end it. bc he was pressured into it

so honestly entres descent into immense self-loathing and all that would have been Very different from how we saw it if someone else had taken care of bitter

5. nah i don’t think swag would’ve like actively started pointing fingers at entre again at that point. like deep deep down swag can’t ignore that this IS entre’s fault and this WOULDNT have happened if not for his mistake, but…swag realizes in the story that it’s not gonna get them anywhere if he keeps holding on so hard to those facts. like if he keeps berating and belittling entre as payback for everything what’s actually gonna get better for that? nothing. all it does is give him temporary catharsis and even that gets cheaper and lasts less time every time he does it

entre wants to fix things so earnestly and tries and swag sees that and wants to help because obviously he also would like this to be undone or at least, cured. and they can’t help each other if they’re at odds. and so even if it’s really hard on him to lose rocky like that, i think at that point it’s just chalked up to “this bitch of a situation” and not “entre did this”

not forgetting the fact that at that point, entre is going to mean a LOT to him because of how their relationship has deepened. so he’s not gonna turn on one of the only ppl he has left

thank you for the questions!! 😊

[wetcatspellcaster]

How are you faring with fic popularity? Does it feel so rewarding to have so many interested readers and asks, and comments constantly coming in, or is it pressure™? Would you rather write for a less alive fandom or a thriving one?

Hey anon, what an unexpected and weirdly touching ask. Thanks for like, caring to ask the question?

The honest answer is, a mixture of both! I'm not going to sit here and pretend that it's not lovely to be inundated with positive feedback on a scale I've never had before. It gives me a lot of motivation to write and continue writing, and when I get anxious or upset about the quality of my own work - which still happens a lot, I'm only human! - it's easier to fall back on a wealth of other people's nice words when I only have mean ones to spare for myself. I'm not going to be disingenuous or pretend otherwise, in many ways it rocks!

But I do absolutely feel pressure. I get more stressed about the quality of chapters as I post them, bc more people reading means more people to please! I also see the disparity between my fics and agonise over the reasons, on bad days, but that's just bc I'm an anxious person lol. *Drake and Josh voice* I cannot control the rate at which the kudos come!

Often in moments when I don't like my writing or get stressed I fall back to: "Well I'm feeding myself and myself alone, so it doesn't matter, I'll just write the story *I* want to read. " This mental exercise gets harder to do, the more people there is... though not impossible! It is still my go to for "fuck it and post" days.

But so far, it's been much easier when Im in a good mental health place. I had a semipopular fic in another fandom this year, that went on hiatus when I had a big wallop of depression, and that sucked bc I got a lot of "write more" comments... when there was a reason I wasn't writing. This fandom has been a lot more patient with me but I've also been more active, so overall apart from a few blips it's going well and has been a pleasant experience.

Honestly, I think my peak fandom experience was early access bg3 in the early days, which was a sweet spot of "active but not overwhelming"! But this isn't a judgement on current bg3 fandom or an ingratitude for my current popularity bc I am not about to complain! This is just informed by the simple fact that up until two months ago I was a fandom lurker who literally showed up once every 8 months, posted a fic then peaced out lol, and now I have to check my inbox on tumblr *and* ao3. Oh, woe upon me! Not emails!!

[arowrath]

i am losing it the tiniest bit .

googling like "my mother treats me like a child" or wgatever just brings up like ppl talking abt their mothers not wanting them to grow up or not giving them enough freedom which is a valid problem and one i have but it is a completely different problem from the one im looking for information on which is that i am a 20 year old man and my mother babytalks at me like a four year old on a regular basis. its drivng me fucking crazy but i dont want to argue and she wouldnt listen anyway she'd probably just be like "i dont do that" which .okay. but like holy fucking shit it is SO annoying and demeaning and WEIRD.

and like i can handle it when she treats me like. a teenager. like whatever im 20 close enough i dont care. but when she treats me like im 10. or 7. or fucking 4. its like. what the fuck is your problem.

and like okay i was thinking abt this the other day bc i was talking 2 my dad like just hanging out and he was treating me like a Person and like. idk i feel like when he had kids he was Expecting and Excited for us to turn into little people with our own thoughts and free will (maybe not the transgender communist thing i think that was a bit far but he's always been supportive in terms of like. me being my own person otherwise).

and my dad volunteers at church with some of the kids like 9-12 age range, and a lot of them have rough home lives and 'act out' cuz of that and he's very patient with them and helps them with what theyre going thru and generally just acts like theyre little people. because they ARE little people. like he genuienly cares for those kids and is always like... taking them to the park and stuff but also like, being character witness for their parents' custody battles n shit like actually helping and suppotying them.

whereas my mother volunteers at church with babies and toddlers and its almost like she sees them as pets. and will complain abt them being annoying or MEAN if they cry or dont want to play with her. like she's nice to them but she will complain abt it as if theyre trying to spite her

and i feel like she didnt become a parent bc she wanted to raise a small human i feel like she just wanted a pet. and shes been better with my sister but when i was a kid the second i was like 6 and developed some free will she kinda like. Moved on from me LOL. and stopped caring abt me outside of like. buying food. wire mother type shit. idk it's just really obvious that my dad cares abt these kids as people but my mother cares abt them for only as long as they dont upset her or do something she doesnt want them to. if that makes sense

and idk its like. i am 20 years old. im not going to go back to a 4 year old with no sense of the world outside of u because I AM TWENTY YEARS OLD. I HAVE LIVED ALONE IN SCHOOL I HAVE GONE TO THE DMV I HAVE WORKED A JOB I HAVE DEALT WITH MEDICAL EMERGENCIES ON MY OWN . i have had to make my way through every single social problem and mental health problem and shit since i was SIX bc thats when she stopped giving a shit about me. im not a child anymore

but i think its also part of why im so fucking bad at Being An Adult. bc she never taught me how do to any of this shit bc she was busy pretending im still a little kid. and now im too anxious to figure out how to do things on my own and i dont know how to ask for help and everything is very overwhelming and she tells me she wants me to get a job but doesnt help and she acts like she wants me to leave but she doesnt tell me that or help me leave and i am SO FUCKING SICK of living at home but i dont have the money or the skills to get out

and she's NEVER helped me with adult stuff either . the only thing i can think of is when she took me to the bank bc i needed her signature to take her off my bank account . otherwise my dad has been the one to help me with college applications + college stuff in general + finances + jobs etc etc . whereas my mother ACTIVELY LIES TO ME ABOUT THOSE THINGS TO TRY TO STOP ME FROM GETTING MY OWN DEBIT CARD !!!!!!!!!!

and it's this fucking exhausting mix of signals where she's like "u need to get a job u need to learn to drive u need to do this and that" but also she Literally , not exageratting , treats and talks to me like i am a child . i am so fucking sick of it it's unreal . i am going to lose my fucking mind .

[likesunsetorange]

He’s used to working in the sun but hot stage lights are crazy and he has a headache! Needs kisses from the lady to make it better!

cowboy x model au drabble # 3

she’s not used to him being such a dramatic baby considering he’s worked outside in 105°+ weather (41°c bc SORRY IM AMERICAN YALL) but apparently his kryptonite is fluorescent lighting

but drabble bc i’ve missed them dearly and it’s 4 am and i can’t sleep lol 🦅🦅

“Alright, good job today everyone! Let’s go ahead and wrap it up!” Someone called out, which to Mikasa, was music to her ears.

She felt her shoulders relax, finally able to revert to her normal self after a day of posing and running around. As much as she loved her job, there was only so much fake smiling and standing still for hours on end she could handle each day.

A smile lit across her face, knowing that now she was free to do as she pleased, whether that be a movie marathon with Eren, date night, or more tourist activities that he happened to be extremely fond of. Mikasa scanned the room, looking for him and his notable hat, only to come up short. 

She had seen him in various places throughout the day: conversing with the numerous shoot employees, being the kind person he is, asking them about their days and lives (today being a day he felt like being social); picking at the table of food set out for people, every time she saw him he had a different snack in his hand, never one to be satiated; and when given opportunity, doting on her in her few spare moments, gracing her with numerous pleasantries and chaste kisses, unable to ever get enough of her.

Needless to say, she was surprised that now, he was nowhere to be found after being easy to spot for the entirety of the day.

Mikasa walked aimlessly around the studio looking for any signs of Eren, when she saw Mina, her assistant, walking towards the exit.

“Mina!” She called out. “Hey, before you leave, have you seen Eren?”

Mina glanced up from her phone, raising an eyebrow. “You didn’t see him in your dressing room?”

Mikasa looked at her a little dumbfounded, feeling guilty she failed to think of checking there before asking. “Oh, actually I didn’t check there—sorry. But you have a good night, I’ll see you next week!”

Mina waved her off, bidding Mikasa goodbye before heading out the exit. Mikasa took that as her cue to head to her dressing room, wasting no time now that she knew his whereabouts.

She walked towards her room, passing by the numerous people leaving for the day, exchanging goodbyes and usual formalities, the building getting quieter as she reached deeper into the studio, farther from the exit. She was surprised to hear no noise coming from her room, curious as to what Eren could possibly be doing. Mikasa slowly opened the door to her dressing room, scanning around the room, only to find Eren in the corner of her room, laid upon the couch with his hat covering his head and using her robe as a makeshift blanket. She chuckled to herself, the image before her a bit endearing. She couldn’t resist the urge to take a picture, fishing her phone out of her pocket before she’d be forced to wake him up.

She smiled to herself, wondering how long he’d been asleep, and when exactly he’d disappeared to come into the room. After working such long days back at home, she wouldn’t have expected him to call it quits after a ten hour shoot, but maybe New York was changing him after all.

Mikasa tiptoed over to the couch, taking a seat beside him, careful to not wake him up. She gently lifted his hat off his face, watching as his brows furrowed at the exposure to the light. Her fingers cupped his cheek, Eren letting out a little groan—always one for the dramatics.

“Eren,” she whispered. “Wake up—it’s time to go.”

She watched him as he stirred in his sleep, seemingly stubborn about having to wake up. Eventually, his eyes flutter open, sparkling green eyes meeting that of her own, though the sleepiness was evident in them.

“You disappeared,” Mikasa laughed. “I didn’t expect to find you here, asleep of all places. Long day of talking and snacking tire you out? Must be a lot harder than those long days back at the ranch, huh?” She teased, unable to keep the smile off her face.

Still trying to wake up, he rolled his eyes, clearly not all that pleased he was woken up to her teasing. “At least at the ranch it’s quiet, nobody there to bother you,” his voice a bit groggy. “There’s all the lights, people talking, noises—so much is going on all day. How are you used to this all the time? It started to give me a headache,” he added, his voice coming out more whiny than he’d probably intended.

Mikasa looked at him, her brow raised in amusement. The man who spends days from sun up to sun down sometimes in the hot sun or the freezing cold, wrestling with animals, building things, or moving things twice her weight, had been exhausted by the stimuli of a photoshoot.

“Eren, my love,” she said breathily, her voice interrupted by giggles. “I believe that’s what we call, being overstimulated.”

His brows furrowed, his face scrunching into his usual face of annoyance. “Well,” he huffed. “Call it whatever you want to. But those lights are hot, and bright—they would bother anyone after a while—I don’t know how you do it all day. Can’t believe they have my girlfriend in these conditions all day—surely they can make photo shoots better than this in the year of 2024.”

She leaned down to press a kiss to his forehead, right where his brows were pinched in annoyance. “Thanks for caring so much about my working conditions, Eren, but I promise you I’m okay.”

“Someone has to look out for you, you can’t even be outside back at home without three bottles of sunscreen on, Mika. Just wanna make sure you’re taken care of,” he joked, though there was some truth behind his words, proven by the amount of sunburns Mikasa had gotten the last time she was in Texas during the summer, insistent on helping Eren during his work days, leading to one too many sunburns and too many bottles of aloe vera Eren needed to purchase.

“Anyways, let’s go home, okay? We don’t even have to take the subway today, we can Uber since someone doesn’t wanna be around loud noises,” she teased, choosing to ignore his prior statement.

Eren stood up, removing the robe off himself, and placing his hat onto his head, helping Mikasa to her feet as well. “Alright, but only if we stop by that place by your apartment—the one with the snacks that sells food too.”

Mikasa gave him a look of confusion, before the realization hit her, unable to hold back her laughter. “You mean the bodega?”

“Whatever you call it, you city folk have such weird terminology for everything.”

[itgirlgyu]

fav authors?

surprise to literally no one i actually don't have one because i don't read much in real life, (like the ones I ever bought in real life were horror stories compilations) but i really like sarah hogle's humor, and rick riordan oh and!! diana wynne jones!!!

i also like humayun ahmed's short stories and anuja chauhan's novels ( funfact i read all of them) are my guilty pleasures tbh.

never forgiving red chillies for ruining the zoya factor by casting sonam WHEN THEY CASTED MY BABES DULQUER?!? (ik im going off tangent lols)

now now COMING ONTO THE REAL DEAL!!!

my favourite author is my inspiration, my muse, my mentor, my lover, my best friend—my rahrah!! no like fr tho i don't think i would have taken up writing seriously if it hadn't been for her. i got into writing as a means to like extend my overactive imagination onto somehwere so i didn't care about making it sound coherent or like organised until i met my favourite author. i read her stuff and it made me realise ah well fuck i gotta pull my shit together and took a hiatus from writing while trying different genres ( i had never wrote a drop of angst before that) and tried to replicate her writing by reading dozens of romantic era poetries because when i tell you her writing is literally flowing poetry while heavily based on action. like. you're behind the camera with her as she effortlessly narrates what is happening ad though youre experiencing it herself. it's safe to say ill never be able to reach her level but i geneuienly feel so blessed that i can call her my best friend and send my stuff to her bc like i dont think world recognition would as much her word does to me.

now onto TUMBLR,

who else other than @wildernessuntothemselves i had stopped reading on tumblr becase everything I was reading was getting boring and so many people were deactivating, UNTIL I stumbled across like this one drabble of yeonjun from them and oh my GOD WHEN I SAY SOME EMOTIONS WERE UNLOCKED IN ME it's like i had opened this whole new fucking chest of wonderful things—this is when i realised how much into dark stuff i am. and I feel like I really clicked with their writing because their dark writing, the obsessions and themes stems from the things like love which is like the best kind of motivation ever lmao ( it sounds so weird trust me im not a coherent person) and SO I READ ALL DO THEIR WORK, and again and again so i finished the loser lover series, the enhypen series they had and it was during yaqmn when i realised im into this shit for like i was SO FREAKING INTO IT like beomgyu is my favourite character ever from them ( close second to taehyun in hogwarts au sshhhhh) but yeah yaqmn made me realise that i wanna stay on tumblr but like also interact with them and be active in my own writing endeavours. also the author gave legit introduced me to so many cool authors with similar writing tropes and I am so so so thankful that I have found this side.

@hyewka gotta thank mort for introducing me to THE WONDERFUL WORKS OF rana like fr tho, like from the first story it was a hit on the nail on me. i love love love the way rana writes so so so much like they way they articulate their works, the whole situation and the emotions and their TROPES AGH CHEFS KISS. i love that their works are so long because it leaves room for me to see the development between the two characters making it feel so much worthwhile when they fuck in the end lmao like even their toxic works ( BRO HOW DO THEY ARTICULATE THEIR TOXIC CHARACTERS SO WELL) LIKE I'm literally always in awe bc it doesn't ever come off surface level? it's always so so detailed in the plain sight like whatever fucked up shit they do it notion they have it comes off genuine like this person isn't a caricature which is so hard to pull off. i can only ever wish to ever plot a detailed one shot like rana.

@itz-yerin the angst queen fr she is. okay but i know yerin is quite literally famous for her angsts( I'll come back this later) but what drew me to her stories were the fluffs. as someone who doesn't write fluffs because i feel i come off phony ( wow go off edgelord) but dude i read works and the way it's crafted with so much simplicity and love that you genuinely feel the love the characters have for each other and its done in the most mundane situations of life and i love that so much!!!

and her angst too omg, like i think ive never seen anyone tumblr yet use the trope she does in her angst and it's such a wonderful touch that makes me wanna keep reading ans ik most of her works don't really have a happy ending but it creates such a bittersweet ending that leaves this biting feeling in your heart. yerin truly the queen of hurt-hurt genre.

@channoticedmeuwu i know i haven't read much of kai's works YET BUT BRO listen the drabbles that ive read from like the flow of them genuinly makes me believe it's like those pretty lores and fairy tales that you are meant to narrate out out. the vocabulary choices and the way she structures her sentences gives me so so much joy like a number of time. ive literally sat there in awe rereading her sentences again and again. ALSO PACING!! the pacing makes me feeling like I'm walking the character, sometimes they way it indulges you into storyline is literally so magical. i swear to god i wish i could write like that man it's so so so soooo pretty!!

@ox1-lovesick was legit gobsmacked by sav's writing the first time i read them. it's so beautiful, and it's like so soft that makes you feel like. you have something swirling on the pit of the stomache—the fluff is so genuine and it doesn't come off performative at all WHICH IS LIKE SO FUCKING HARD TO DO?! bc you're reading stuff so you feel like ah yes I need to make them look like they are in love BUT NOT SAV even if it's the shortest passage the way they write genuinely makes you see the love the characters share and im out here shoving a pillow in my mouth or SHOVING IT IN THERE TO STOP laughing like THEY ARE SO FUNNY?!? SO FUCKIN FUNNY LIKE THEIR ONE LINERS GET ME SM OR SOME SHIT THEY WRITE LIKE got me giggling and cackling like a witch.

i actually don't read much but I'm trying to change that so when that happens this list will get WAY MORE LONGER!!!

[imjustabeanie]

yo its seras ... i decided to send one in for fun. id like a relationship matchup for someone from jjba + genshin if you could please.

any prns, cancer, intj, aro bi (im in romantic relationships so idm it. i just dont prioritize romantic gestures as they make me uncomfortable), true neutral, i have bpd + autism + bipolar + chronic pain so woo

im like 5'2, shorter hair like dirty blonde almost brown, pale also bc i dont leave the house except to go to work lol, freckles, blue eyes but they look more gray. i dont emote much at all really. i have a hard time talking about feelings / emotions / much of anything. i only talk passionately when it comes to my interests and things i really like. im very stubborn and overwork myself often. it takes me a long time to warm up to people and be trusting. i dont like touch unless ive been around you a Long time. i like people who make me feel looked out for and who won't be afraid to essentially force me to calm down / take breaks. not super pushy but like. kind pushy if that makes sense? i dont want to be smothered and need my space and would rather like parallel play. i like watching / playing games together and just enjoying time together. i also deal a lot with extreme emotions and hiding them, hence the bpd... my mood swings are a lot of the reason ppl can't handle or deal with me so someone who won't mind them so much would be nice? or someone who can rationalize and help me through emotions and things. i also need a lot of attention but not in an overwhelming suffocating way. im also hypersexual and it has a big part in my relationships and i need someone to keep up with that too. i have tendencies of being a bit manipulative but i dont. like that about myself. i dont like to go out a lot and would much rather stay at home. i dont mind going out to quieter places or just doing mundane things! i also do like going out for food + for conventions or events related to my interests. amusement parks also rock. i have special interests in animals (marine animals, cats, dogs), mythological creatures, the paranormal, cryptids, cosplay, animanga, video games (especially rpgs + visual novels + dating sims + rhythm games), old web, character analysis, horror media, and psychology.

hopefully thats enough? tysm

Trade!

Your genshin match is Wriothesley!

He's patient, funny, a great judge of character and respectful. What more could you ask for? Once you two break the ice you hit it off rather well. He's very caring as a lover without being overbearing. He's always here when you're in trouble and always looks out for you in his own way.

Wrio is definitely someone who can deal with you, he's patient after all. Especially with his lover. He knows when you're reaching your limit and he has a space in his office just for you to rest. But at the same time he's ready for you to innitiate more activities together. The most important is that you know he loves you. He shows his love through small acts and gifts. He always gives you his time and learned to convey his feelings with little gifts through the day.You always receive flowers, chocolates and a good lunch from him.

When he can, he'd love to go assist events at the surface! When he really can't he'll just order/make the foods he wants you to try. He also always gets a bunch of movies so the two of you can watch them together. As much as he enjoys physical affection, he'll always wait for you to initiate first. Once you give him the go he becomes another man.

Overall, it's a very nice relationship where you don't publicly show your love but people still know it's there. Wriothesley is patient and will always wait for you to come around. And he still gives you gentle pushes to encourage your goals.

Your JJBA match is...Kakyoin!

Not gonna lie, Bruno was a close second but Kakyoin is way more playfull and chill. Both know how to guve you space but Kakyoin knows how to have fun.

Kakyoin shows his love through acts and quality time. He likes going on dates with you to explore new places yet also takes care of you and does his best to make you more comfortable. He's not that big on physical touch either so you don't really have to worry about this. When you engages he'll just happily welcomes it.

He absolutely loves playing video games with you! The two of you spend hours at arcades and the scores are often a tie! He also loves horror movies. One of the most common things you two do is just...sit in a pleasant place and discuss a recent movie/video game you two did. He's also quite cultivated in mythology so he has nice book recommendations. Food isn't much his things so he'd rather follow your recommendations.

Overall, you two are the average high school sweethearts but on the more timid side. People just know that you're soulmates by the way he looks at you.

[blueskittlesart]

i need you to tell me everything about ur jean pls

HI. my jean is my pride and joy. i lost my 50/50 on ayaka's first banner and got her when i first started playing (my first ever 5 star!!) and i just. never looked back. i have a ton of like. actual dps-intended 5 stars that i could easily main but im incapable of giving her up for anyone. i literally have c1 ayaka now and i STILL main jean. if i had a little less dignity or care for my own money i would buy her summer outfit but unfortunately i am poor. so uhhh if anyone wants to tip me $25--

ive been actively working towards a 100k burst since like. well at the very least since before vv was in the fucking strongbox bc i think i have like 500 runs on that stupid ass domain. im obsessed with anemo characters in general tho so it ended up being worth it. someday I will get heizou and i will have a fully-completed build waiting for him when he comes home

anyways. up until today i was running jean on 2vv 2glad, which got me up to about 96k bursts, but her off piece was a shim and I rolled a better shim piece when farming for yoimiya so the 100k burst build is 2vv 2shim with a glad off piece! Currently her weapon is blackcliff longsword (the extra crit dmg is what finally pushed her over into 100k!) but i desperately want jade cutter. i lost the 50/50 when it was running last month so i had to settle for a 4 star :/ without buffs she has around 1.9k atk, a crit ratio of 50/158 , and a 61% anemo dmg bonus. With no buffs or supports her skill crits are around 20k and her burst crits are around 30-35k!

for her showcase rotation I use a standard anemo dps showcase rotation (i believe this one was originally developed for xiao), which since anemo can't take advantage of any reaction buffs is bascially just stacking atk. (I do also use food & potion buffs, idk exactly what the dmg drop is without them bc i havent tried it.) the team is c1 bennett with noblesse and aquilla favonia (high base atk), c0 mona with TTDS and tenacity, and c6 anemo traveler with vv (weapon doesn't matter, mine has sac sword.) the point of all of this is basically just to stack atk buffs bc that's really the only thing anemo dps's can take advantage of, aside from c6 traveler's anemo res shred.

rotation goes bennett skill x2 (to break the cryo regisvine shield) > bennett burst (atk buff scaled off weapon + noblesse buff) > traveler burst (res shred) > mona skill (4pc tenacity atk buff & ttds character swap buff) > mona burst (atk buff) > jean burst! this rotation should also work with any other anemo character you want to build as a dps. I haven't tried it with my xiao yet bc i've been so focused on jean but he regularly hits around 30k per strike unbuffed so. i think it will make him insane lol

ANYWAYS. jean main nation. someday I'll get jade cutter and then i'll be unstoppable

[spookfished]

sept+ oct media roundup

hi again :3 this month in september i was really busy with school so busy that i didnt make a media post for a whole month!!!! lol and also ive been getting back into FINAL FANTASY XIV: ENDWALKER grind lmfaooo so i wasnt really on that #mediagrind as much as i could be… but i still have some things to talk about :3 by sakshis (@.lilquill) suggestion, im also talking a bit about the music ive been listening to! this is also being crossposted onto my extremely barebones neocities

books/comics:

paladins strength by t kingfisher: m/m romance about a coroner and another former paladin! still psrt of the saint of steel series. i thought it was, once again really charming and grounded! also it involves a death room and i love those. the authors idea of 'these two characters are hiding something from each other' feels a little bit more contrived this time on pipers end, but i still had fun :3

home comforts: the art and science of keeping house by cheryl mendelson: nonfiction instructional manual on how to do various homemaking activities: cleaning, laundry, cooking, etc. ok ngl i got this book bc a book i was reading about 27/7 service..? was like "if you have never cared about housekeeping before this ones pretty useful." bc of various life and medical issues, the house i grew up in never really cared much about this kind of thing, except for cooking and self sufficiency. home comfort was written by a full time lawyer who was raised w the idea that she would grow up to be a stay at home wife, which i think is pretty interesting! it manages not to fall into tradwife ideas (imo?) by reframing these tasks as like.. a cyclical, rhythmic kind of self care that serve to make your home feel more safe and cozy. kind of like the marie kondo idea that folding all your clothes by hand puts like intent into your them; not practical for everybody, but sometimes a nice idea! also has a bunch of practical stuff, much of which is not particularly useful if you live in a college dorm. this book made me make my bed more often lol. i wish it had an updated section about tech (especially cord management)

the maid by nita prose (dnf): thriller about a (strongly autistic coded) maid who gets caught up in a murder at her hotel. i dont know i feel like i could have powered through this, but the way that the maids autism, and the way she interprets situations vs how the audience interprets situations is either played for pathos or laughs (its sometimes hard to tell which) rubbed me the wrong way. her life just… sucks? so bad? i feel like other people reading it may find some validating representation, and the voice is certainly interesting and brisk.

lolita by nabokov: doesnt really need much of an introduction. not going to lie, i read this bc i like nabokov but also to silently feel superior to all of the discourse girlies on tumblr. i did enjoy it though! in a way, at least? it's definitely a novel that can only be taken in small bites. i feel like a lot of the wordplay went over my head, and i'm not sure how much of that is due to me not knowing french and how much of it is due to the english language evolving so much after publication (and how much of it is just my own lack of knowledge. close reading is not really one of my strongest suits) . i was relieved to find that people call it funny, because it honestly was at some points. its really interesting when people can balance revulsion and humor and sick fascination, but that ratio is a pretty personal thing

she who became the sun by shelley parker chan: a retelling of the rebellion against the yuan dynasty, except the future ming emperor is a woman instead; part 1 of a duology. i really liked it! i liked the idea of like ummm sort of the two genders being Agency and No Agency. i thought baoxiang was pretty great love a fruity queerbaiting bureaucrat. thought it was pretty interesting that he continually tried to assert the importance of his own work and also worked really hard despite the fact that approval was obvioiusly never going to happen--so was it really that kind of futile endeavor, or for other ends….?! ooh so mystrious very excited to see him feature more in the second book. (spoilers for the book) some scenes that especially stood out were actually with some of the side characters! such as the mayors wife :3 the climactic scene with ouyang and esen was very delicious

he who drowned the world by shelley parker chan: sequel to she who became the sun! zhu yuanzhang has clawed her way up to her very own army and the yuans power has been destabilized, but everyone else is still racing for the crown. dude. i liked this book so freaking much. sooooo freaking cool it expands on a lot of the ideas and i also liked the development of the yingzi/yuanzhang relationship. additionally it managed to display the kind of like. trans horniness that (DISCLAIMER: I DONT FUCK) i dont really see in a lot of published books.. pretty cool! reminded me of when i went to a burlesque show and saw a woman (medical horror cwwww?) stick a needle through her hand lol. fantastically well balanced cast. do you think about the EROTICISM OF VIOLENCE? and GENDER ROLES? please read this book it made me so stressed. i really believe that at the end of the book baoxiang becomes a stay at home prisoner war

an unkindness of ghosts by rivers solomon: scifi about "exploring the conjunction between structural racism and generation ships" where medic aster uncovers a grand conspiracy! i thought the world building was reallyyy fun ship that has Been Voyaging Forever is an old and good trope, and this book goes hey but class and race will still exist though. to the point of like um recreating plantation dynamics i think? very anti utopian in a way i enjoyed. the mix of advanced scifi stuff and also having no resources was interesting :3 i liked giselle and theo a lot, and pretty much all the supporting (+sympathetic) characters besides aster? who took a lot longer for me to warm up to--shes definitely given a lot of nuance and life, but i think overly literal autistic/coded characters are a bit cringe..? im sure it meant a lot to someone (esp having a black autistic char?) just not me personally. oh but i really enjoyed the difference in voice between all the povs they were really distinct and fun. also aster and giselles rship! i think it would have been nice to have more intense moments, but thats also a personal preference for dramatics kind of thing--a lot gets glossed over in a 'past trauma' kind of way.. neil is right that i mostly have been reading books that blast you though lol. i really liked the scene at the end though like wow.. returning to the earth.. that was really good honestly. the stuff about archives and memory keeping was interesting --there was definitely like a thread through but i wouldn't have caught it w/out leo mentioning it. something about multiple interpretations..? something about history being passed from person to person rather than through physical means….?? its a strong debut i think :3 felt kinda movielike in an interesting way. rlly wish theyd went into The Gender more although i guess it mostly wasnt about that yeah and i wish the ending had more to do w like. her doctor stuff lmfao it was a little disconnected

video games:

13 sentinels: 13 teens intertwined stories come together in a story about love, mechs, and every scifi trope in the universe. also, the past and the future! the background art is sooo gorgeous i think my usual attention span for visual novels was increased significantly just by being able to walk around while dialogue was playing… if you have a low tolerance for heterosexual "pair the spares" type behavior, this may not be for you--i really liked some of the romances though, like with fuyusaka and sekigahara.. i liked the themes of like. idk you can try to relive the past, but all itll do is stall you from moving forward--we can examine past mistakes but we cant ever get a 'redo.' alsooo people were haters about the battle segments but i played it all on hard and really enjoyed it. tbh anyways would recommend!

boyfriend dungeon: dungeon crawler where you can date your weapons. well i 100%d this (except for the whip) but for all of the gameplay bits i was mostly thinking "man i wish i was playing hades". probably not a fair comparison, but it does lack some polish in that department, and overall. all the same, i enjoyed this game! it has a nice soundtrack and art, and i thought some of the love interests were pretty charming :3 also appreciated the flexibility in love routes. it really got a bad rap from the stalker plot huh…pretty solid game and worth playing if the initial concept grabs you. i did borrow neils copy though

hades: after beating bf dungeon i immediately redownloaded hades lmfao. sooo good theres not a lot to say about it. still havent managed to beat the final boss even after all this time bc im too stubborn to turn on godmode >:T

dave the diver: casual sort of dungeon crawler, except instead of killling monsters you catch fish for your sushi restaurant, which you also run. dave the diver stacks on a bunch of mechanics in a way thats… surprisingly manageable? and really charming honestly. im having a lot of fun with it :3 a few awkward boss fights that werent really that fun (and stealth segments..my enemy) havent gotten in the way of like all the rest of it i loooove exploring the ocean and finding new ways to get fish and all of the gorgeous pixel art and also the FALL GUYS GUY is doing the OST. this game is blowing up a little bit rn but honestly for good reason. such a good gameplay loop that also adds in variety over time

manga:

hirayasumi: slice of life about a part-timer working in tokyo who inherits an old womans house--its all about slowing down and enjoying the pace of life--and also how hard that actually is. dude hirayasumi is sooo fucking good im always trying to get people to read this manga i think its adorable and also beautiful and bittersweet. its about growing out of your 20s and the friends around you who are moving up or moving on or even just stuck in place. super awesome

ao no flag: romance coming of age w lgbt themes. a timid high school girl is trying to work up the courage to confess to her crush, and enlists the help of her crush's childhood friend to do it. the mixed-up shenanigans of adolescence ensue. man you know i really love the art for this manga (faces and expressions! so good!) and i think all the characters are really compelling! the trio just have such a cute dynamic and like all of the waffling over feelings honestly feels real. the ending was really disappointing though honestly. still worth a read imo but prepare to be mad. ok here is my longer rant about it (spoilers) ughhh ok its like. initially i thought masumi getting a boyfriend was SO fucking disappointing. especially given that she kinda got the least focus out of the main 4? some reddit comments were like "maybe her boyfriend is trans" but i think that something like that would be……….really complicated honestly? and something that id really want to have explored more outside of just a singular epilogue chapter? and i dont think the implications were that strong there. and given that it would have been good to see more indications that they were actually happy together bc its like the first thing you think when you see her is "oh, she gave up" WHICH IS SO FUCKING DEPRESSING AUGH and she never even confessed to futaba :| futaba and taichi breaking up makes a lot of sense and im like, whatever not really going to object to that esp bc the whole theme is like youthful love. but then on the SAME SIDE OF THE COIN its like it makes no sense for taichi and touma to get together either then!!!!!!!!!!!!! like what a copout. it kinda breaks the whole original premise. AND it feels like its just (whats that word thats like playing to? favoring?) fujos reading the comic and all those ppl are like the girl should DIE for getting in the way of my two gayboys. and aslo the convo with kensuke and the other girls and especially that other guy really felt like i was reading a reddit thread. or like some of the most frustrating conversations that ive had and overheard. like hmm i sort of get what it was trying to say. and i agree that peoples frustration and idea of whats 'right' usually isnt the best rhetoric.. and above all sometimes youre not focusing on your ideas of correctness Or proper rhetoric but having an honest and open communication? but its likeeee well i kinda dont care? sorry

nana: coming of ageish? nana, a flighty girl who's quick to fall in love, and nana, a tough rocker trying to make it big in the city, coincidentally become roommates, and become fast friends despite their disparate lives/personalities. this one is one of the classics! i still havent finished it yet (its also unfinished) but idk i really like it. always fond of flop women like hachi lmfao. the older art style did take a bit to get used to for me

i want to hold aono kun so bad i could die: horror manga about a high school girl who gets her first boyfriend--who then dies only a couple days afterwards. yuki kariya is willing to do anything to make sure aono stays with her, even letting her possess her body. but should the dead and the living really be so closely intertwined? ok the art in the first couple volumes may be a little offputting but this is REALLY good ok. and it has some really chilling panels that i love a lot. aono kun begins with the pretty classic "awkward loner girl x popular boy", but it quickly starts getting into ideas about like…. purity and "the filthiness of desire" and stuff like that. recently has been getting more into why the characters are the way they are? in some uh, really chilling and realistic depictions of abuse within a family. check the cws but mr chainsaw man recommended this manga so you should read it too.

movies/tv:

skibidi toilet: humor/action webseries?? ok so its about this war between the skibidis and the cameraheads, which escalates in technology over time as the cameraheads bring in other objecthead allies and the skibidis grow stronger. me and neil and alena watched all compiled 40 minutes of this in a straight shot, which was kind of like frying our brains in a microwave. kind of like those stickfight videos for a cocomelon generation, the relentless pacing will suck you in kinda like…. a skibidi toilet…. really well made imo but probably only worth watching if you really like cool fights and/or gmod

the shining: prestige? slash? horror a father and his family take care of a hotel only to find out things are FUCKED.. i really didnt know what this was about besides the here's johnny scene before i watched it :3 pretty crazy it really just is a good movie. sucks that the filming was so terrible though

fight club: ok so to me this movie is about colelctive action and gay people. like they had so many people mobilized for radical action and whatever and all they did was blow up a bank. LAME! anyways i really liked it a lot despite the everything. ive been entering my film bro era with neil i hope we watch pulp fiction next <3

music:

this is a couple albums ive been listening to over the past couple months!

THE CLOD(瓦合) by no party for cao dong: taiwanese post rock. im a big fan of this band so i listened to a bunch of the album tracks as they released!! like the first album, each track flows together into a coherent whole, and it retains the upbeat despondency from the servile. however, it feels like theyve also been more willing to branch out musically! especially with tracks like damn and daydream. overall, the album has a grittier, grungier feeling as well. also i know more chinese so i can sing along a bit now :3 (also, their lyric translations are always so good?) a few highlight tracks for me are lie (床) and the human the hole and the mountain. (人洞山).

CRAWLER by idles: british "crankwave", whatever that means. idles is also a band that i really like :3 sometimes i try and listen to other things in its genre and im like well…. this isnt idles though… sorry.. i like things that are the same forever…. i listen to this music a lot when im cleaning haha. it has such a feeling of overwhelm and tearing through rock bottom thats very satisfying! crawling hurts but it works for me and so on. with crawler and the clod both, every time i listen i have a couple favorite new tracks but rn i like the end and progress.

UMURANGI GENERATION OST primarily by adolf nomura: jungle music for a photography-based game (umurangi means "red sky" in te reo). i mostly end up listening to the tutorial + mauao view tracks. well….. i have a huge jungle music bias. unfortunately. but i think a lot of this music really captures the sort of "flow" feeling that you get when working on something creative! this game has an incredible sense of atmosphere i would really recommend checking it out. highlight tracks are swears in ps1 and BEAT THE POLICE

SCALES by king isis: indie pop. i saw them perform live at a concert this august!! so freaking cool :3 to me has all of the self indulgent sadness and rich vocals of an early mitski track but ALSO is an ''indie gem''' (this is their debut album). songs are fun to sing along to :3 my favorite songs from her are 4 leaf clover and im fine thx for asking! but apparently their new mv has sexy vampires in it so maybe go check it out?

as always if you read (or skimmed) to the end, thanks :3

[thegeminisage]

much as it pains me, i only have an hour or so before bedtime so i've decided to press on to gerudo town...i want my snow boots before i try to get that memory and i KNOW they are there

omg this stable has boxes everywhere?! my buddy is here too. where to even begin

YOOOOO evil zelda has been at work here.........telling them not to go near the WELL in a DESERT?

cleaning up thi hoarder junk lol just like real life

man...it's so SAD to be their final customer :( it's sad they have to close up forever...

oh!! he wants art for the stable's final days 😭

geez, those are some tough pictures to get...i'll do my best, but not tonight lol

evil zelda saying stay away from the well is why it's shutting down!!! noooo

girl why does everyone obey her like that, like against logic...the monarchy barely means anything anymore. shes my babygirl but like if my stable was closing bc of some nonsense order i would simply violate the order

DONT TAKE ME OUT OF THE WELL I NEED THAT LOOT........

OMG yessssss FROGGY LEGGINGS!!!!!! god at LAST...only ONE MORE PIECE TO GO............

if i cleaned the well out does that mean the stable can open again 🥺

oh, when your meal pouch is full addison gives you rupees twice lol

im in the desert and i HATE. SAND. anakin skywalker was right about everything

oooh but it looks so different...the bazaar...what IS that tall thing...how do i sneak in this time lol

this poor korok will have to wait til i get my fucking sand & snow boots

oh cool you can rent a sand seal with a CARRIER now...love it

ah, i see. i guess i can take the korok after all lol. one less for later!

this sand shroud business seems SPOOKY...wild weather in real life fascinates me, and so too does wild video game weather

damn this old lady is fucking jaded. begging me not to drop dead in front of her lol

oh FUN this gerudo is teaching me like, gerudo language, and she's trying to teach me how to make the "v" sound...which i know, because english, but in japanese they don't have that i don't think. COOOOLL

lol a rito just named guy

ah, the updraft is to fly over the shroud...very good. i remember the map not working in botw and it was scary lol

but i still wonder how i get in??

just like when i did the story in the other areas i activate the shrines and leave them behind...smh. at least this time i have the excuse of "it's almost bedtime"

WHAT is this big mushroom thing with the bud in it??? looks almost like a lightroot

i've officially hit 999 brightbloom seeds lol. the game won't let me pick up anymore

oh wow the map going fuzzy is just as bad as i remember lol. it's bedtime but i just GOTTA get to town first...i think i remember an npc saying something about zombies i WANT TO SEE THE REDEADS (or do i)

okay. so.

i got. in. like by just. walking in.

saw a redead. immediately froze in terror.

it's not moving. i'm not moving. alright. alright

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I SHOT IT AND IT GOT BACK UP KILL IT WITH FIRE

killed it with fire. don't like that

GIBDO BONE..........................it is literally not a gibdo. it's not a mummy. it's a redead!!!

shit fuck this looks. so bad. hudson's poor daughter...where even IS everyone

riju's not here...but i found her diary

my friends link and zelda are in hyrule and they'll take care of it 😭

geez she is so young to be dealing with all of this...older now but still

SNOWSHOE DUDE????

oh my god he's FINALLY in........but to what avail..................

so, everyone is hiding in the wells...

wow, even the bar is fucked up......tragic

where tf are the wells?

OH i found one!!! a square well!

message in a BOTTLE!!!! JUST LIKE OOT

oh lol it's a love letter from a gerudo. girl.......you can't just put love letters in bottles...you and finley both...enough

oh i found the way in but i don't have the girl clothes :( idk how to do it!!!

BULIARA WITH THE STEEL CHAIR

omg i get the special exception rule <3 i guess thats better than the last game...?

man they arent even allowed to talk to me lol

oh, these guys don't seem to know the trick - killing them with fire lol

another heroines quest! i'll be honest i didn't really understand the first one...

omg they put a guy in JAIL for coming in here...they're serious!!

ok the last thing i wanted to do before bed, which i am late for, was get my shoes. i had to look up the location but AAAA theres two redeads in my way!!!!!!!!! literally kill with fire

i am so tense and hypervigilant walking thru this town. my eyes sweeping everywhere between steps. i am NOT gonna get jumped by one of those motherfuckers this close 2 bedtime

oh god FINALLY made it

those brightbloom seeds just paid for my desert vai armor! of course i had enough for the boots and bought them first lol

well it's more than half an hour past the bedtime i wanted

but i unblocked the door and walked out

saw a redead shambling towards me. went back in.

that's a sign. that's for future liz to deal with tomorrow. eugh

[yuukei-yikes]

give 5 of your favorite takane headcanons plzplz *big eyes*

this has been sitting in my inbox for a few weeks cuz i was trying to come up with something i havent drawn/talked about before but whatever Lets fucking go even if i repeat shit OK FIRST OF ALL. THE FUCKING SLEEVES. takane post str keeping the ene sleeves bc of sensory issues my beloved <3 i think he rly tries to laugh it off at first kinda like in denial but eventually gives in (or like in that comic i made haruka talks her into it and how its ok a lil bit too)

i also drew this in a harutaka i posted but takane randomly giving static shock to people when they touch them ajdhnsakdjskf <- something having the long sleeves also helps with cuz that way he doesnt have to actually touch anyone. victims of this most often are haruka (by accident) and shintaro (on purpose). also its hair randomly standing up bc. static. this makes no sense ofc but i think its a funny and silly way to translate takane's power in her physical body. the more time he spends as ene the more charged with random electricity its physical body is. RIP harutaka kisses they kinda hurt. u can make the our love is electrifying joke only like 3 times before it becomes annoying. eventually takane thinks haruka becomes immune but in reality he just gets used to it

this is kinda canon ig cuz of that saiyuki comic abt enoshima(was it enoshima. i might be misremembering LOL whatever the picture contest one) where its implied shes been playing for a living so streamer vtuber ene REAL. a hit bc its an insane fucking model to have. when asked who made it enes just like ohh sorry the guy who made is my teacher who died lol!!! maybe theres a bunch of conspiracy videos abt it because ene stops going online for 2 years and then theyre back but instead of a silent stream like it always was its THIS. huge hit though. its awesome. streamer takane is so real not only does he use its power for a job but its also basically "kay time to go to work *falls asleep*" takane being the only? mekadan guy who actually loves their power and actively uses it post str will never not be funny they/she/he/it takane btw. if you even care. bisexual nonbinaries eating hot chip and lying. blue hair AND pronouns. ALSO THE BLUE HAIR ive also drawn this a few times but takane chopping all its hair off+dyeing it blue my beloved. post str takane is never rly drawn with the long hair he has when she gets his body back but ummm i think itd be funny if post str they had it and cut it straight to short from there. i do not want to see the no9 novel ever tbh im fine with it being buried and dead but omg....takane design without the stupid fucking pigtails im BEGGING id kill to see a canon takane design without them. but i live in my delusion and in it theres short blue hair and pronouns!!!

not so much of a takane headcanon more of a general one but also sort of related. im so fascinated by what saeru must've told haruka and takane's parents. haruka was gonna die anyway so his dad wouldnt be surprised but theres No Body? i think for him he was probably a little gaslighted abt seeing him dead and by how he is described maybe he wouldve been fine with never looking at his son dead+convinced to have a closed casket by his old pal mr tateyama and just buried an empty casket for haruka.

but for takanes grandma its so complicated bc she had no REASON to have takane disappear like that. basically i think saeru gaslights gatekeeps girlbosses so hard like gaslights both’s parents to hell and back but especially takanes grandma bc harukas dad is more or less covered but with all its money and resources it can cover up haruka and takanes disappearances altogether so takanes just. Gone. and this poor womans rly has no answers, no closure, no nothing. takane just vanishes!!! grandma enomoto protagonist when. i think itd be funny if she went full on old woman conspiracy theory mode or just tries to move on with this huge mystery behind. takane and grandma reunion i want to see it. haruka with his dad too tbh im rly curious what theyd tell them and what theyve been told LOL

i think haruka and takane dont go back to their families immediately bc they have no fucking clue what to even say so they stay in the hideout for the time being (would the dan move to the tateyama house post str? i read this in a fic once i think itd make sense and i always go sniff sniff imagining mekatrio+mary saying goodbye to the 107 apt). but for takane it sort of becomes urgent bc um it starts becoming apparent she needs its meds and the dan does NOT have the funds so while haruka can wait it out takane is like forced to go back home. i think at first takane would try to pull thru bc with its powers he can still hang out and stuff but its rather haruka/shintaro/ayano being like UMMMM... YEA U NEED UR MEDS. yuukei quartet visiting enomoto grandma WHEN!!!!!!they go 4 emotional support/help to explain i thinks. i think they wouldve known her back then too cuz in the sixth novel haruka mentions they go to takane's house for ayano's bday party after the gaming event.

ummm... sorry this got long. sits down. sry theyre all moslty post str headcanons LOL post str my beloved

[shytastemakerthing]

heyyy can i get a romantic matchup? ID REALLY LIKE AN ENSTARS ONE but if u dont do those, a twst one is good :3

im kitten, i dont use pronouns (so just use my name). i dont use labels either, but im feminine. im 17 (so nobody younger than me pls!!), currently in IT classes, 162cm, virgo and entp/intp. also 8w9

umm Im a vampirekin and have a strong affiliation w rabbits and cats. i can be really blunt (sometimes i dont mean it sometimes i do) and am pretty aggressive. i love play-fighting w friends and getting into joke arguments nd stuff.

i hate hatee having 2 give advice like I cant deal w ppl venting 2 me. I can b rude Mostly jut since if i dont like you 4 whatever reason Im not going to hide it Im just not going 2 Be nice. Cuz of this I dont get approached a lot bc ppl say i look mad/intimidating a lot!!!

VERY umm bimbo oriented. very clumsy, Very bad memory and attention span, But who cares I love acting cute and acting pretty and stuff. I love cute things tbhgd sm and I just want 2 squeeze. Cute ppl. As a bimbo i still Have my days 💔where im just Depressed man and Thats most days. but i am good at Just Living and Not acting like that..! Tho when im Very bad w mental health I tend 2 just get sick and not leave my bed and just cut everyone off LOLL

Any ways I love fashion and dressing cute and DESIGNING CLOTHES!!!! I love designing plushies and characters and stuff I need like a creative output and I have 34983 ways of that (designing plushies, characters, outfits ect. sewing, vtuber rigging, sculpting, painting, ect). i usually dress in v-kei, gyaru (kogal), ouji and lolita.

i love any love languages recieving tbh Maybe like words of affirmation I need lots of reminding that they R a willing participant of this Relationship. PERSONALLY i lvoe spending time and doing acts of service, im rlly Not an affectionate person so im probably not going to initiate physical contact and Im RLLY bad with words so im not probably going to do words of affirmation either .......

Hmmmm what else I love music. so much different types. breakcore, classical, eurobeat, game osts, pop rock, industrial metal, esp anything super weird and experimental.

jut stuff i likee would be active cities, being clean, good food, nighttime, CATS AND BUNNIES, pigeons<3, (i want to own a pet cat, bunnies and a pigeon lol), collecting things and baking

i DISLIKE dogs (despite being pretty dog-aligned by personality), my room having any sun in it, dirty/messy/gross ppl. i hatee violence sm I get uncomfortable hearing or seeing ppl/animals get hurt Its just gross and scary.

abt relationships ... I will die for my Partner i will straight up Fight someone for them. idc if they r bad person or if They did a crime rlly Thats so girlboss of them . I want to go out a lot on dates and stuff I dont wanna just go to the same places I want 2 explore and go to new places nd stuff. also Ermmm i dont rlly wanna Date someone shorter thn me Like. They just look like a child at that point..

thx :3 sawrry i wrote a lot lolz. lolll tyy So muh

A/N: Hello and thank you for your request! Don't worry about it being so long, the more information that I have to work with then the better! It only lets me get even more ideas for a match-up! Speaking of, I do hope that you like yours and enjoy!

Tw: None

I match you with.........

Ritsu Sakuma

From one vampire to another, you both are quite literally made for each other in that regard. He sees you and he can feel warmth flooding through his ice cold veins, how the moonlight illuminates your figure makes you look just ethereal. He is stunned into silence but soon regains himself and Ritsu can't help but to approach you.

Now given his sleeping patterns, it is a little hard for the both of you to meet up for any kind of outings, these would mostly be happening later in the evening and into the night given his aversion to sunlight, but he manages to work his schedule just right between his unit work and when he sleeps. He will always make time for you.

Another cat lover! Perhaps the both of you would like to go to a cat cafe for one of your dates? It would be something that he would find both enjoyable and relaxing, especially if you get to be there with him.

His schedule is quite busy sometimes given the work he has with his unit, Knights, but if you would like, you could always join him when they have practices and lives. Honestly, the thought of you being in the crowd and cheering him on makes this young vampire smile.

Speaking of his unit, the others absolutely adore you and they protect their own, and given that they now see you as one of their own, they will protect you just as you protect Ritsu. It is what a Knight does, after all.

Ritsu is big on giving you those words of affirmation. He may not be too much of a talker, and he really isn't that down on himself, but he would never want you to be down on yourself. He wants you to know that he is committed to this relationship no matter what it takes.

Overall, two vampires are able to join each other under the light of the moon. It is something that he will always love. With your similar interests and hobbies, it just makes the time that you spend with one another so much better and so much sweeter.

[noxiatoxia]

hi im ur biggesgt fan anwyayi saw that you werre doing headcanons. cani get cinderella and karoug angst headcnaons thank you hhngnnf

thank you for ur stroke I will honor your final wish.

I have a LOT of Kaoru angst headcanons bc I'm a sucker for angst and projection sorry i am cringe but i am free.

So. I will try not to be VERY in depth about them all but I have a big hc that Kaoru has untreated/undiagnosed severe depression that plays into his self-worth issues. He's not actively suicidal but he is passively. like. if i die then that's ok. lol. and maybe he thinks about it sometimes but he'd never do anything if only bc he doesn't want to hurt hikaru. I do have a whole thread I update every now and then talking abt this concept. but the main parts really are. he's super depressed and has no clue how to express this bc he's stuck between being horrible at communicating + not wanting to worry anybody/being a burden so he ends up expressing them thru very cryptic metaphors and then nobody knows what he's saying. hence the carriage thing. (this is me coping with bad writing/hj).

When he's in his depression swings he tends to be very anti social. He doesn't want to eat doesn't want to talk. call him 12 cuz he dozen do anything. he just reads all day bc it's the quickest and easiest way to block out the world. however not moving and not eating makes his depression WORSE and this can really concern hikaru who quickly notices this behavior. thankfully he ends up forcing kaoru to take care of himself which pisses kaoru off for a few minutes until he starts feeling better.

During these episodes also he has a tendency to try and isolate himself from everyone, again bc of the whole self-worth issues. It gets so bad during these moments he thinks he genuinely either is making everyone's lives actively worse or he simply doesn't deserve people so he just tries to cut them off. luckily this never works especially with people like Tamaki or Hikaru because 1. Hikaru would NEVER give up on him ever and 2. Tamaki is the most persistent stubborn man in the world he would never leave Kaoru.

He gets nightmares a lot esp during these depression episodes and he tends not to tell Hikaru about them bc they're always really morbid either about everyone leaving him/him offing himself and he doesn't want Hikaru to worry. Hikaru can always tell something is wrong tho and stick closer to him that day.

Also, when he's upset, Hikaru does everything in the world to try and cheer him up. Try to make him laugh usually. Since Kaoru doesn't like talking about his issues, Hikaru tries his best to make him forget about them. Obviously he'll offer to watch Cinderella with him which if Kaoru refuses then he knows he's REALLY not doing well and then he panics and calls Haruhi for help.

Actually nice segue into the next thing. I assume you mean cinderella HCs relating to Kaoru and not. the actual cinderella property. Which i do sadly have a few headcanons for (i Stockholm syndrome'd myself into liking it) but I'm doing the former since that's what I think you meant.

Kaoru's favorite Cinderella movie is the original disney version, English. He enjoys the Japanese one too but he prefers the original. He says on a objective level the 3rd movie is the best, but the first is his personal favorite. He likes the critically panned 2nd movie and acknowledges it's not that great, but it's still fun and has nice stories and messages.

He has watched nearly all the live action adaptations of the Cinderella fairytale and thinks they're all enjoyable in some way, even if that way is being laughably bad. His favorite character in Cinderella besides Cinderella herself is Gus. he had a crush on the Prince when he was a little kid and a similar but lesser crush on Cinderella herself (bi rights). He can recite all the songs from memory and knows soooo many dumb fun facts. He loves the Cinderella GBA game and has beaten it many times. Him and Hikaru have long arguments over that game because Kaoru thinks it's good and Hikaru thinks it sucks for different reasons (this headcanon is born from the fact I myself have very conflicting opinions on that game that were SO opposite from each other the only way I could adequately express them to my friend was to stage it as an argument between Hikaru and Kaoru I'm not even joking I wish I was.)

The reason he loves Cinderella so much is kinda interesting. When he was a little boy and just learning how to read, a fairytale book in their huge at-home library caught his eye. One of the fairytales in it was Cinderella. He remembered really loving the illustrations, but the issue is, the book was all in English. He was just starting to learn Japanese, let alone English. Determined though, he found an English to Japanese dictionary and translated the whole thing. It took him all day to read that small fairytale and while Hikaru wasn't really paying attention they were inseparable so he just stuck by as Kaoru tried to read this. I guess the amount of effort and pretty illustrations made an impact on his little autistic brain and so he became enamored with the fairy tale. He watched the movie in Japanese and then later in English to help him learn English. The Cinderella movies in English actually really helped him learn the language faster funnily.

Hikaru, while supportive in his cinderella special interest, pokes fun at him for it a lot and soooometimes can get really sick of hearing about it all. the. time. He loves his brother to death but man. just. sometimes he wishes there was a mute button. He lets him ramble usually tho and he finds it silly if not a little endearing most of the time. one time Kaoru found out Renge was a big fairy tale fan and she also liked Cinderella (a normal amount, not like he does) but still they struck up a veeeery long and complex conversation about it that Hikaru was lost in during the first 10 seconds and so he sat with Mori that whole time bc Mori is silent and he just...needed the silence right then and there...

during their birthday one year Hikaru (as a joke) got some Cinderella decorations which embarrassed Kaoru but made him incredibly happy. During the small party Kyoya noted that they had a "Lucifer" plush on the shelf (the cat from cinderella) which prompted Kaoru to go on a 20 minute ramble about how it's actually a rare 1999 run of the plush that he acquired at an auction and he told the whole history of its production line. Kyoya had. a lot to write in his book that day.

ALSO whenever hikaru pisses haruhi off. she goes and buys a discount bluray of a cinderella movies and gives it to kaoru as a gift. bc she KNOWS he will excitedly run home and go "look what haruhi bought for me let's watch it right now!!" and hikaru will have to sit through cinderella once again. and everytime. hikaru knows haruhi is doing this to piss him off. so he makes it a point to act cheerful about it and make kaoru think he's enjoying himself because He Will Not Let Haurhi Win.

ok. ive gone on long enough. my last addition will be said by my kaoru both here: