#only posting this bc i need to know who else is suffering over this.............. it cant just be me

[spacedlexi]

when u want to like a character so so bad but theyre a cop so its impossible

[strawberrystepmom]

i'd crawl home to her

pairing: hades!geto suguru x persephone f!reader

word count: 10.8k

about: the god of the underworld brings his most valued prize home at the risk of tearing the realm itself apart.

contents: cw dark content - kidnapping, possessive leaning on yandere behavior, stockholm syndrome to a degree, lore accordant misogyny (ugh i know). this is a retelling of the hades and persephone myth, it is not exact to the prior iterations - creative liberties, etc. reader is quite naive but has her own personality and genuinely cares for suguru. piv sex, reader is referred to with feminine pet names, virginity loss. zeus gojo, hecate shoko. weird happy ending bc ofc this is something EYE wrote.

notes: i was personally asked to repost this and figured finishing the story and posting it full length would be the best way. this is the full and final version of what was formerly known as crawling. thank you for reading and i hope you enjoy it.

floral divider is thanks to @/saradika

Earth’s sun rises with you, Suguru concludes on his fourteenth morning outside his bleak domicile.

Perched high above the meadow you tend every morning, the sun rising higher in the sky with every step you take across soft green grass, he watches. The backlight drenches you until you’re a mere silhouette, hard even for his superhuman vision to make out. 

He doesn’t need the sunlight to do anything but glow across every curve and dip of you - his mind can easily paint the rest of the picture.

You live behind his eyes every time he closes them.

He luxuriates in the feeling of shutting them to imagine you while he’s in this form, something inhuman that may belong among your trees and your blossoms. Something unlike who he really is. 

Opening his eyes as he hears branches creak beneath where he rests, he readies himself to swoop into the landing you are approaching. 

Sighing with each step, the gentle sweep of the hem of your dress across your feet tethers you back to your reality. The grass tickles the bottoms of your bare feet and you squint as you peer into the distance ahead, unable to make out more than vague shapes of flora. 

A golden cage with crawling vines along the bars is still a cage, one to which your mother holds the only key. You are reminded of this impenetrable truth with every muffled step that grows quicker as you notice something in your clearing. 

A bird, larger than any you’ve ever seen, rests atop the grass with its wing twisted at an unnatural angle. The sight makes you gasp and you begin to sprint, filled with concern. The dryads haven’t yet arrived to tend the meadow with you - you’re alone. 

You’re unprotected. 

You’re his.

A pathetic caw leaves the large bird’s beak as you approach. The sound is strangled and makes your heart squeeze, mind immediately reeling imagining the suffering this animal must be going through. 

Despite being kept under lock and key, this meadow is your domain and nothing will hurt as long as you are here. You vowed long ago to make this so. 

You sink to your knees beside the bird. Suguru sees the tips of your fingers before he sees anything else, the beady eyes of the body he’s inhabiting keeping him from taking in too much of you at once. 

“You poor thing,” you speak without a trace of irony or false sympathy. Your voice is more beautiful than any melody he has overheard the dryads cast into the sky and relief washes over him as the sound. “What’s happened to you?”

He caws again, the sound stronger this time and you smile. Perhaps he’s feeling better, you ponder as his shift away from you and shut. His soul shutters with anticipation as you lean over him. 

This bird is unlike any wildlife you’ve ever tended to in your lands, large and inky in color. You are more accustomed to robins or the occasional duck, things as gentle as the life you lead. Ducks don’t even have claws, Suguru thinks as you stroke a pattern across his beak with your index finger, suddenly too aware of his own talons in this form. 

Those same talons twitch and you frown, moving from his beak to gently petting his head. 

“Are you in any pain?”

The concern you hold for Suguru makes him feel a bit hazy, your mind too precious and concerned with helping him to notice the rapidly browning grass surrounding the two of you. 

He eventually kills everything he touches, smothering the light out of every last brightened corner in his life. It makes him feel guilty knowing you’ll just be one more light to extinguish but he can’t allow this to continue.

This want he has for you - the need growing into a pit as endless as the one he alone casts souls into. 

You are his. 

A soft gasp leaves you as the once injured wing of the bird you sit next to appears to be healed untouched. No longer bent and dangling, the strength returning as the bird lifts his head. Fear paralyzes you when you recognize something distinctly human in the darkened eyes that glance up in your direction. 

This is no bird of your lands.

Adrenaline rushes but you stay, watching the bird twitch as he begins to transform into something inexplicable before your eyes. Feathers give way to hair, a beak to a face. You draw your fingers back as wings become hands but they’re captured quickly between cool fingers much larger than yours. 

Fear blankets your mind and you gape at Suguru as he transforms into a man - nude, bare to the sunlight. You can make out every defined plane muscle and scar, the sight as terrifying as it is alluring. You know all too well who has trapped you between his talons. 

“Why are you here?”

Despite the terror in your widened eyes, desire flickers within them. Suguru notices you do not flinch or stray as he reaches out and caresses your jaw with his fingertips in the same pattern you were gently etching across his beak. 

“For you.”

Almost as if you are no longer in control of your own body, you melt into his touch and your eyes grow heavy. His large palm cups your cheek and he gently pinches the soft round between his index finger and thumb.

He wishes you’d come willingly but he can’t be certain and will not leave room for error. 

Your eyes flutter shut gently, your body slackening as the magic he used to coerce you to sleep takes hold. Bundling you against his bare chest, a victorious smile crosses his handsome features.

You are his, wrapped in his embrace, and he holds you as delicately as a fragile newborn as the ground shakes beneath the two of you.

“Let’s return home,” he mutters down at you knowing there will be no response. Your breathing is steady, little puffs of air leaving your barely open lips. He presses his palm against your cheek, your throat, your chest. 

He resists the urge to map you out knowing he’ll have plenty of time to do so as soon as the two of you have settled in the underworld. 

The God above answered when your mother cried out to the heavens and Earth herself the first evening you did not return to your mother. 

Your routine has been the same for many of your living years - trudging back to your family estate with muddy feet and eyes you have to force open to stay awake through the evening meal you used to share with her. Days spent beneath the sun turning to evenings withering beneath another light altogether.

Satoru set his cerulean gaze on the lands below, the verdant rolling hills of Demeter's domain, and he knew without a second thought the encroacher who had been there. Brown grass in the shape of footprints led straight to your clearing - where he knew Suguru trapped you.

His need had become insatiable, a fear they’d all kept to themselves for far too long.

Lounging across an ornate chaise in the social room of Demeter’s estate, Satoru eyes her home carefully. Everything here is so polished, so prim. It’s a wonder she has ever let you get your hands dirty at all, her little blossom ripe to be plucked straight from her stem. 

“Go to him,” Demeter begs the god with teary eyes, his snowy hair framing his unnervingly handsome face. “Please make him return her to me.”

Satoru chuckles and lifts a chalice to his lips, the two legged land nymphs and servants that also serve the woman across from him tittering anxiously. They’re lucky to be witnessing the handsome god in front of them, they’ve all remarked several times over. He sips and lets the taste of the richest wine this world has to offer drench his taste buds before smacking his lips appreciatively. 

A lazy grin crosses his features which infuriates your mother. 

“You know I can’t do that, Demeter,” he holds the chalice out to the waiting hands of a servant who graciously accepts with a measured smile. “I’m as unwelcome in his domain as he is in mine.”

Suguru simultaneously watches the conversation through a looking glass hanging on the wall of his quarters and you as you sleep, an enchanted rest he created with a spell he has not yet decided when to break. 

This transition will be easier for you if you rest, he decided when he concocted the plan to bring you here in the first place. He rips his gaze away from the glass before him and wistfully gazes at your little form. Your soft breaths, your little hums and yawns. The way you shift against him when he joins you at your side, looking for warmth he cannot give.

He balls his fists and returns to his watching.

“He kidnapped my daughter!” Your mother shouts, back of her hand pressed to her forehead as an unimpressed Satoru raises his brow unenthusiastically. “Do you have proof?”

Suguru can’t help but smirk, shaking his head at his old friend. He wishes things could’ve been different between them but Satoru belonged amongst the clouds, a god and friend to all. He finds himself exactly where he belongs - in the darkness below, the unknown depths at which mortal life ends and everything else begins.

His attention shifts as you do in his bed, little mutters spilling from your lips in a rapid enough pace he grows concerned and stands over the edge. His hair is so long it nearly graces the edge of the bundled blankets below him and he listens to your soft voice intently, as if nothing else matters. As if he weren’t just eavesdropping a mother’s desperate plea for the safe return of her child.

“Where am I?”

Suguru believes he can make out the words spilling from your lips and your eyes flutter open. He sinks to his knees beside you, a large hand cupping your cheek. He cannot tell if you are unafraid or just too unaware to shrink at his touch. I’ll take my chances, he thinks as he grabs your other hand with his free one.

“You’re home and safe, my treasure.”

Looking around the dimly lit room, your brow furrows and he softens at the sight. You delight him, in your soft and beautiful glory, and he wants you so badly it’s going to consume him. It already has.

Nodding at his words, your eyes begin to focus and you feel hands upon you. You aren’t sure how long you’ve been sleeping, it could be hours or months, but you feel rested and whole. Your fingers do not hurt nor are they blistered, your feet are warm and dry.

“Are you…him?” 

You ask and Suguru leans further onto the bed until his chest is pressed against the blankets, his face resting against the bundle of them directly over your stomach and chest. He shakes his head gently, still cupping your face. He uses his hold to point your chin downward so that your eyes meet his. 

“Who?”

A gentle sigh escapes you and you lean into his touch, head heavy with fatigue. You are still not completely aware of your surroundings but you can think back to the times as a child your mother warned you of a man who offered nothing but darkness.

“You are the light of this world, my child.” She would warn you as you sat upon her lap and let her brush and manipulate her hair into the style she liked best. “Don’t ever let darkness consume you. Do not let him reach you.”

You giggle softly and your sleepy gaze dances over the handsome face of the man next to you. Angular and sharp, yet something distinctly and indescribably boyish lives inside of his eyes. Perhaps it's an internal softness, a fondness for you, turning outward.

“The God of the Underworld,” you whisper and he feels your palm pressed against his where he holds your other hand. “You’re Suguru, aren’t you?”

For a moment, he wonders how far a lie could take him. He could keep you here in his quarters forever, never revealing himself as anything more than a concerned traveler that found you passed out in the meadow. He could lie. He could transform himself again just to eliminate all risk of you leaving.

He could chain you to the bed. He could keep you here, never to let the sun’s rays grace your skin again. He could pluck those beautiful butterfly wings straight from your soul and cage you.

Instead he shakes his head and offers a small smile.

“You’re right, it’s me.”

You laugh again, still groggy and he wonders silently what you find so funny until he hears the raised voice of your mother from the screen behind him once more.

“How could you even insinuate my daughter would leave with a beast like that?” She shouts, snotty sniffles punctuating her words. “A man so vile you cast him out yourself, Satoru, and yet you allow the most delicate thing on this planet to be sullied by his hand.”

Suguru shakes his head and turns his attention back to you, watching as you glance across the room to make sense of your surroundings. How are you so trusting?

“It’s a little dark here.”

He nods, eyeing the sconces on the walls for a moment before saying a name you can’t quite make out in your state. A servant enters the room and he asks that they turn a small knob on each of the fixtures and they do so with a nod, exiting as quickly as they entered the room. The light is still far dimmer than the sunlight you are used to but it helps you further examine the features of the man next to you.

“Thank you,” you whisper as your eyes flutter shut again, the magic taking its hold over you as Suguru grasps your hand tightly between his. He needs to break the spell completely but he will let you rest, he reasons as you gently fall back into a deep sleep. It pains him to break contact with you, letting go of your hand but keeping your cheek cupped in his palm until he feels satisfied. 

Your mother continues to shout behind him. His interest is only piqued when Satoru speaks, turning his head to glance over his shoulder.

“I will see if I can speak with him, Demeter. You rest until then. Looks like you need it.”

Suguru freezes in place, wondering exactly what his old friend has planned. Perhaps it’s a deterrent from further outbursts from the goddess screeching at him. Reluctantly, he lets you go and rises to his feet and rushes toward the door where one of his most trusted servants is posted outside.

Pulling the door open, he peaks around the corner and the woman in waiting gazes at him expectantly. 

“Yes, my lord?”

Suguru offers a measured glance, dark hair falling over his shoulder as he leans. 

“Please prepare a raven, I have a letter to send.”

Things have been tense since your arrival and Demeter's angry cry to the other gods for your return. Even the lowest of his servants feels strange seeing a sunbeam trailing through the corridors, each of them surprised at how easily you seem to have taken to the human embodiment of darkness itself, although they’d never speak the thought aloud. It’s as if you’re hiding your fear of him, no alarm despite the fact he eyes you hungrily every time your back is turned. 

“My lord?”

The unlucky servant currently standing in his proximity knew the look as soon as he saw it, glancing at the back of your head as if he could look directly through your skull and into your thoughts. The only wish of the God of the Underworld would be to find himself in your thoughts as you are in his.

Despite how easily he loses himself in observing you, Suguru’s brows raise as he shifts his attention from where you gather your skirt in your hands, carefully appraising his estate to the servant approaching him gingerly. Their posture is slumped with anxiety, shoulders rounded forward.  

“You have a visitor.”

Raised brows furrow, the skin between pinching. Folding his arms over his chest, the god lets a sigh he’s unable to stifle escape and turns his back to you reluctantly. It’s not that he doesn’t trust you, it’s just that he would rather not leave any of this up to chance. He risked so much bringing you here - why would he leave anything up to chance when fate has deemed it so that you are to be together?

Glancing over his shoulder to where you stand, still curiously staring at the vines that crawl along the columns that make up the structure of the property. The sidelong glance shows him that you are still within an arm's reach and he turns his attention toward the servant. 

“Who is it?”

The servant shakes their head and the pinched skin between his eyebrows further puckers as a frown crawls across his features. The words don’t have his usual bite, despite the frustration on his face, and the servant feels as though they can speak until they see you turn toward Geto’s back from over his shoulder. 

“Excuse me, Lord Geto?” 

Suguru’s attention is pulled away immediately when he hears your voice from a few feet away, your hands grazing the petals of flowers growing despite this unnatural habitat. The ground is dark and cold, no light to warm the soil, yet yellow daffodils spring through the near black dirt. 

“What is it, my treasure?”

In an instant he is by your side, gazing down at the yellow petals that dot the otherwise dark ground. The servants hadn’t mentioned to him that flowers were beginning to bloom again, instead he noticed it now, watching you bend at the waist to grasp delicate yellow petals between your thumb and index finger. 

“Have these always grown here?” Nodding his head at your question, his long hair fans against his chest and you gaze up at him through your lashes curiously. “Yes but it has been a long time since they’ve bloomed.”

Despite knowing he took you against your will, it’s difficult for you to find contempt for the man given how kindly he has treated you. He has given you a space to call your own and expects only your companionship in return. No tilling fields, no guarding the dryads, simply being allowed to exist for the first time in your life without paying a toll to do so.

This is a stark contrast to the life you were plucked from - working sunrise to sunset to appease your unappeasable mother. 

If you miss your home, you haven’t told him so yet. The thought has crossed his mind that you are only playing to his sensibilities, trying to outsmart an old god with your clever youthful ways, but he sees the genuine warmth in your smile when it appears. Aimed at servants, even the damned begging for his forgiveness, your compassionate nature shines through. 

Despite the fact this is not a place meant for one as beautiful as you, he only hopes there will come a time when you his home as a place the two of you are meant to share. The way you eye the daffodils only allows hope to grow inside of him, dark eyes drinking in the sight of you as you pluck the yellow flower from its stem and hold it in his direction with an uncertain smile.

“You won’t be able to keep her here for much longer, Suguru.”

Another voice draws his attention from you and he clenches his jaw, molars grinding together so roughly the joints begin to ache. Shoko, he thinks. Fuck. You stand and gasp, recognizing the woman yourself although you cannot begin to fathom what this visit could mean for you. 

“Good to see you, old friend.” The Goddess of Magic pats his shoulder as she breezes past him to your side, chocolate colored hair parted to expose her face.

You can recall seeing it numerous times throughout your childhood, attending feasts at your mothers’ home on more than one occasion. She’s as beautiful as she is powerful and you can hardly hide your confusion wondering why she would be here, extending a hand in your direction. 

Suguru looms from over your other shoulder, eyes practically blazing as he looks toward the scene unfolding in front of him. She’d come to take you and he simply would not allow it, stepping closer until he stands directly behind you and braces a hand on your shoulder. 

“What business do you have here, Shoko?”

She laughs at his informality and shakes her head, grasping your hand for a moment before dropping it. Looking between them, you swallow thickly and she sighs watching your eyes immediately look upward at Suguru, looking for answers. 

He looks back down at you in the way one may view a treasured pet. She realizes in that moment, as Satoru had warned her, his obsession had won and disrupted the careful balance of the heavens.

“My business is currently gazing up at you as if she’s afraid to look away, my lord.” 

The words strike you between the ribs and you quickly avert your gaze, fixing it on the single flower in your hand. Anger practically pours off of Suguru as he looks over his shoulder at the servant still waiting and nods them over to where the three of you stand. 

“Please return her to her quarters,” he commands and you scoff in protest. Eyes wide, you feel him gently push you in the direction of the servant. Without thinking, you press your heels into the ground you stand on and turn to face him.

“I believe I should be present to find out my own fate.”

The servant gasps bearing witness to your first act of defiance since your arrival. You wait for a flash of anger to cross the Lord of the Underworld’s face but it never comes, a fond smile the sight you see instead. 

“Your fate has already been decided.” The finality in his tone makes you feel captured, mirroring the emotions that swirled through your mind on the day he took you. “You needn’t worry about all of this.”

Lifting his hand from your shoulder, he pets your hair gently before giving you another gentle push in the direction of the waiting servant. This time, you are too stunned to argue and you’re whisked away in an instant. Left only to glance over your shoulder at him, you feel hot tears spill out of the corners of your eyes but you find it difficult to explain why.

Geto’s gaze follows you until you are back inside of the estate and out of his view completely, the goddess staring at him expectantly in a means to end his lovesick antics. It’s beneath him to act like this, as if he’s a parched man and you are a cool stream. 

“Are you aware that her mother is prepared to tip the realms upside down if it means she’ll be returned?”

Shoko doesn’t bother to hide the judgment dripping from every word and he rolls his eyes in response, arms folded over his chest. It’s always a treat to see her longtime friend act as if he were young again, petulantly sulking because his favorite toy needs to be put back in her box. 

“Let her return, Suguru.”

He says nothing, his friend turning to him with an unimpressed glance.

“No young goddess is worth war. I assumed you would’ve figured that out by now.”

He decided long ago that you are worth ripping this realm apart for.

Weeks have passed since the last time you graced Suguru with your presence.

Shoko's visit created unexpected tension between the two of you and he wonders what he could have done to upset you enough that you have completely frozen him out while he takes long strides through the courtyard, eyes falling to the ground below him to see once blooming yellow flowers droop sadly.

They need you just as badly as he does.

"Please call for her again," he mutters to the servant that walks with their head pointed downward to his left. "Explain that is an order and no longer an invitation."

Suguru's discerning gaze doesn't leave the ground but he hears the footfalls that tell him his orders will be fulfilled without question, as expected.

Upon bringing you here, he decided he'd use the gentle approach with you. No reprimand, no demands, just gentle redirection and letting you come out of your shell at your own pace. Those first few weeks were blissful, you'd wait outside his chamber door until he arose to walk along the grounds with you. You refused to touch him, uncertain of where boundaries lie, but you remained curious enough that occasionally your arm would brush against his.

He'd have to claim other duties needed attending to get away from the near suffocating rush of blood from his head to his cock, length stiff and uncomfortable beneath his robes.

Part of him misses that feeling, the rush and flutter of what he has justified in his own mind as love. It certainly must be, he reasons, given the way he has miserably through his own kingdom for weeks while you've refused meals and visitors. Even damning has become uninteresting without the promise of the sun's radiant light across his face once the dirty work is done. You are his sun, his world, his everything.

Why don't you feel the same about him?

A sickening feeling settles in his gut as he wonders if you are communicating with your mother behind his back. Perhaps Shoko's visit brought you the means to do so, a plan to run and hide and stay away. His fist clenches at the thought and he clears his throat, an uncomfortable thickness coating his tongue. That is a possibility he will not, cannot, allow.

Footfalls draw his attention upward and he notices you walking alongside the servant he sent to fetch you. The look on your face is unreadable, you think, but he plucks you out like a ripe little pomegranate with little effort.

You're throwing a fit as a young goddess does. You're old enough to know better, an adult, but young enough not to care and looking the Lord of the Underworld in his face with a pout makes a feline smile spread across his face.

He's so handsome you almost stop in your tracks but you choose to avert your gaze instead, pretending dying vegetation has captured your attention for the first time in days. Suguru chuckles at your insolence, the dangerous man as unintimidated as one can be.

"She rises," he says flatly and he can almost see your shoulders deflate as you continue to refuse to meet his eyes. "Come, come. Let's discuss what's bothering you."

The servant leads you to his side before being dismissed with a wag of his head and you glance at him out of the corner of your eye.

He's everything you remembered seeing a few weeks ago but you cannot shake the way that his dismissal on the day of your goddess visitor upset you. You believed he saw you as more than a pawn, a person rather than a vague outline for his own desires, but you began to question his intentions that day and have ever since.

"Are you happy here?"

The question makes you turn your face toward him, pout falling. Never in your life have you been asked to consider your own happiness.

In your realm, your happiness is directly tied to how happy you make your mother. How hard you work, how harmonious your meadows are, how productive you can be. You struggle to recall the last time anyone besides the dryad, who you technically had and have dominion over, bothered to ask you about yourself.

The act leaves you speechless, his face pointed downward in your direction. You dare to glance up at him and the elegant slope of his nose, his dark eyes narrowed but radiating a warmth you never imagined a man enshrouded in such darkness down to the cape of hair caressing his shoulders would be capable of.

Moving closer to him, you let your arm brush against the sleeve of his robe and he attempts to keep his face stoic despite the sheer gift of your touch. He must keep his cards close to his chest in case you've found a way out - he cannot afford to spare any vulnerability.

"I think that I could be, my lord."

You're choosing your words carefully and he knows it. He watches as you swallow and your face twists, bottom lip quivering. Despite his better judgement he reaches out for you, cupping your soft cheeks between his cool hands. You don't attempt to dodge him or stray, meeting his eyes.

"If I wanted to be forced to meet demands, though, I would have already returned home."

He knows all too well the demands of which you speak, his years spent watching you from below giving him knowledge of the fact you've never been happy locked away while your mother holds the key to your freedom.

"I understand," he starts, dropping his grip on your face and bringing his hands to his sides. It's not that he does not wish to give you the freedom you desire, it's that he cannot do so and please his own desires as well. "Do you wish to return home?"

He asks and you shake your head quickly, firm in your decision to remain here despite things feeling uneasy with Suguru. Locking yourself in your room and spending all of your time alone is better than what awaits you above, the wrath of your mother promising you'll be working in the fields for the rest of your life.

"Lady Shoko promised me safe passage if I wanted to return but I would prefer to stay here if you will allow it."

That smile crosses his face once again and you can't help but mirror it, cheeks heating knowing it's meant for you. In the time the two of you have spent together you can't seem to recall a single time you've seen him smile, much less like that, at anyone else and it sends a swarm of butterflies drifting through your stomach and chest.

"Of course, my treasure," he reaches up to cup your face once again and you gingerly lean into the kind touch, cheek rubbing against the heel of his palm. "As I've told you, this is your home."

Your home. Not his domain, not a place he's graciously allowing you to take residence until he decides his plans for you.

Nodding between his hands, you offer a smile of your own that fades as his face suddenly turns serious.

"This is your home but all homes have rules," he reminds and you nod, eyes wide. His rules cannot be any more confining than the ones you previously dwelled under.

"You are not to contact Lady Shoko without informing me first, understood?"

Uncertainty dances across your face and he tightens his grip on your cheeks for a moment, dipping his head so that your noses nearly touch.

"It's for your safety only," he comforts, spurred on by the way your posture has tensed as you consider what he's saying. "We cannot trust she won't inform your mother and she won't drag you back with her by your hair."

Doubt falls away from your face at mention of your mother and it takes all of his willpower to keep himself from smirking at how quickly you give in at the mere mention of what you left in the first place. Nodding, you accept his words without question and he's reminded of why he's so terribly fond of you in the first place.

"I understand," you mutter, mirroring his previous words to you and the corner of his mouth lifts in a smirk as he dips his head low enough that your noses do touch this time, the tip of his brushing gently against yours.

"I'll pay any cost to keep you safe and that's why I had you sent away during my conversation with Lady Shoko," he apologizes and you believe he's earnest given the way he looks down through heavily lidded and lashed eyes. "I won't make that mistake again. You do deserve to decide your own fate."

He keeps the fact your fate has long been decided to himself, the illusion of choice more important than actually having choice itself. You smile sweetly, nodding between his palms, making your noses brush once again.

"Thank you, Lord Geto."

He shakes his head, backing away from you. The smile on your face dims with the loss of him so close and you send a message to your fingertips to stay at your side - you haven't been given permission to touch him as badly as you want to.

It's isn't the first time you've considered how he'd feel between your palms. Would he be cool to the touch, as his own hands are? Would he let you explore each divot and crease of his body, your eyes roving and your imagination doing the same? Would he allow you to kiss him, lips brushing against lips, noses brushing once again?

Heat you feel fearful of blooms in your gut and you look away, cheeks warm. You hope he can't tell what you're thinking as you wait for him to respond.

"Suguru," he corrects. "I'm always Suguru to you."

He swears he sees the yellow daffodils at his feet spring to life with the warmth of your gaze when you avert your eyes from him to the ground, girlish embarrassment keeping you from looking a god in the eye. Chuckling, he reaches for you again and pulls your face toward him, pressing his cool lips against your forehead.

You gasp and he drops his hand, squeezing yours that lies at your side before turning to leave but not before tossing another glance in your direction over his shoulder.

"Let's do this again soon. I've missed it terribly."

You nod a response, too shaken to speak.

"What do you bring before me?"

Suguru never looks more grand than when he sits on this throne of bone, the picture of repose with his legs spread wide enough that his robes fall between them. His arms rest on either side of the chair, generally, but right now he rests his chin between the thumb and finger of one hand watching while his servants bring forth another soul for his judgement.

You watch from your own spot in the crowd, flanked by guards, simultaneously curious and horrified at how easy this is for him. He is judgement and you simply get to witness the process of life created above being squandered down below due to its own misdeeds.

He has been doing it for a long, long time, you remind yourself if only to quell the way your stomach turns as he denies another lost soul passage.

The job he's performing isn't entirely unlike yours - the ability to bring forth life, even if it is just simple vegetation and flora, a gift you were born with. Flowers bloom where you walk, trees grow leaves to shield you from the sun. You're the sole reason little yellow daffodils have once again sprung up across the grounds, the servants marveling at life dwelling the halls of the otherwise dismal realm.

"My lady?"

Your eyes flit from where the man you are so enraptured by sits to your left, one of his servants kneeling at your side. You greet them with a smile and they shrink slightly, uncertain of how to react to the unweighted offering. A smile means something down here and usually it isn't anything good, a lesson you haven't yet had to learn given the way the Lord of the Underworld reciprocates the sunny glances you give him.

"Lord Geto has asked that you join him in his chambers momentarily."

That isn't what you were expecting to be told and it must show on your face, smile falling into a small "o" shape as you look down at your unimpressive robes. You took care to look nice today, of course, but you don't feel as though you should appear before him looking like this.

"I'll escort you," the servant offers and you nod, still uncertain of what will be happening behind the heavy, closed doors when he has you alone.

The two of you haven't truly been alone until this point. There's always a servant, a courier, a guest. You aren't sure one can ever be truly alone in a place like this that dwells with the damned but you rise to your feet anyway, bowing your head as you walk through the crowd and toward the corridor that leads to your destination.

His chambers are empty when you arrive but you are ushered through the doors anyway, jumping as they shut with a heavy slam behind you.

Just like that, you are left to your own devices.

The already cavernous space seems even larger when you're standing in it, eyes darting from the walls to the ceiling to the bed itself. You remember, vaguely, spending time there. You can almost recall the way the linens felt against your skin, cool and comforting. You know he touched you then, held your hands and your whimpering form if you'd wake up in the night disoriented and fearful.

It couldn't have been more than months ago but it feels like a lifetime, you're a different woman than you were the first time you rested beneath those sheets but you will always remember his kindness.

Gingerly, you step out of your spot and begin to pace around the room with your hands clasped behind your back. Your footsteps fade into background noise as you look around and wonder when he will join you, still feeling anxious about why he called you there in the first place.

Part of you hopes he will finally kiss you in the privacy of his chambers. That he'll finally do what you've felt he's on the precipice of doing for weeks, gentle brushes of your hand and his body against yours sending you reeling and running back to your own quarters to catch your breath.

Without noticing, your fingers flit to your lower lip and you rub it gently, imagining what it would be like to be kissed by a man for the first time. This is no mere man, though, this is a god.

You want to be kissed by a god.

Giddiness makes you giggle to yourself, your fingertips still rubbing an idle pattern across your lower lip as the door opens behind you. Dropping your hands to your sides, you turn toward the open doors with a smile as Suguru steps into the room.

He smiles at the sight of you too and your palms bead with sweat as he approaches you, towering a head above your own and tilts his head to the side.

"Do you remember the last time you were in here?"

Despite recalling the fuzzy outlines of what occurred during the weeks you were too tired to move just moments ago, you shake your head. You'd like to hear own retelling of the events if he'd be generous enough give it to you. He chuckles and brings his hands to your biceps, holding them gently.

"You slept for weeks," he reminds, smile still spread across his features. You don't have to know his own magic is the reason that you slept and he has no intention of informing you of such. "I sat by the bed and kept watch, I wanted to make sure personally no harm would come to you."

It's romantic, you think, the way that he cares for me.

It can't simply be the thrill of being away from home any longer that makes your stomach flutter in his presence. It isn't the forbidden fun of doing something you know your mother would hate, frolicking in a realm that doesn't belong to her at the side of a man with more power than you can imagine.

You are feeling something dangerously real and it emboldens you to bend your arms upward and grasp his wrists in your palms. His smile dims into a sultry smirk and you return it with a moon-eyed look of your own.

"I wish I remembered more about it," you mumble. His hands slide from your arms toward your face and he gently rests them on either side of your neck, thumbs resting on the delicate column of your throat.

"We have plenty of time to make memories you do remember in here," he offers and you giggle nervously. "That's not why I asked you here, though."

Your smile dims as you look at him curiously, hands still wrapped around his wrists. His smirk falls and his face becomes unreadable, eyes darkening.

"Do you believe me a monster after witnessing my work?"

Those words aren't what you were expecting to hear following his prior ones but you shake your head with urgency, tightening your hold on his wrists.

"Of course not, Suguru," you let his name slip past your lips and he squeezes the sides of your neck in response. Your eyes flutter and you stutter. "W-we all have jobs we must do even if they're ugly."

He nods once.

"I knew you'd understand."

Nothing further is elaborated but you don't mind, basking in his praise of you while watching him carefully. You look over his lips, his cheekbones, his dark eyebrows that seem knit together in concern.

"Is something the matter?"

Your voice is delicate when you ask, sweet a spring breeze it has been far too long he's felt caress his skin, and he chuckles darkly.

"I've been called away to meet with your mother and Lord Gojo."

Frozen, your eyes widen and he moves to soothe you, pulling you into his chest and pressing your cheek against his robes. Your arms fall to your sides but you move to wrap them around his waist instead, burying your face and inhaling the sharp, clean scent of him.

He smells nothing like the death you've experienced in the meadows, a bird or a faun, at times an unfortunate wanderer. He carries none of the smell of decay or ruin. Not of the rot of dead flowers, earthy and pungent enough you have to turn your head away to clear your nostrils.

Just clean, simple, pure. You inhale and savor.

"They haven't asked that you accompany me and I am making no plans to bring you."

This should concern her, he thinks. Your fate is once again being decided without your presence but you don't seem nearly as offended this time as you were the last.

"I'd rather stay here, if that's alright," you mumble against his chest and he squeezes you. This is the answer he desired, perhaps even expected, but it delights him. You made it there on your own without any gentle direction.

"Of course it is," his big hands rub your back as he soothes you. "I'll ensure you're taken care of while I'm away. You will want for nothing, I promise."

His assurances settle in your chest warmly and you unbury your face from his robes, looking up. Without thinking, you crane your neck as long as it will stretch and stand on your tip toes, pressing your lips against his chastely.

The last thing he expected was for you to be this bold but he presses his lips against yours in return nevertheless. The kiss is merely a peck, a rubbing of skin on skin instead of the tongue and teeth and saliva he'd love to share with you, but it's a message. Return home safe dances across his lips sure as your soft skin grazes them and he misses the feeling as soon as you step down, feet flat on the ground below.

Smiling down at you, he presses his lips against your forehead the same way he always does when he's about to take his leave and you deflate almost visibly knowing this means the two of you will be separated for an unknown amount of time.

"No harm will come to you nor will any decision be made without you present, understand?"

He's making a promise he can't keep yet you nod, eyes searching his face for any inkling of what could be coming.

"I must go immediately but I will return to you as soon as I'm able."

You sigh, the sound light as air, and he chuckles despite himself. Holding you for a moment longer, he kisses your forehead one final time before creating space between the two of you. You watch him head toward the door with a frown, lips still tingling with the touch of a god.

"You can stay here until I return," he mentions breezily as if the two of you are discussing meal plans and not the potential of violence that awaits him in the earthen realm. "These quarters are your own now."

You nod, looking around.

"I'll see you soon."

He exits the doors in a rush, muttering under his breath while shutting them tightly behind him. The small army he has requested to flank the doors while he's gone approaches him, standing at rest while they await their orders.

"She is not to leave this room except to take meals or explore the grounds. At least four of you must remain with her at all times."

The guards nod in unison at his orders knowing their options are obey or die and you stand blissfully unaware on the other side of the door of the fact you've just been locked into a cell until he can figure out how to keep you here permanently.

"We can't keep going this long between seeing one another, Suguru."

Geto hums unenthusiastically, stomping through the entry of your mother's sprawling estate while Lord Gojo joins him at his side, jovially sipping from the same chalice that has remained full for his entire stay on the grounds. He's certain the nymphs utterly dote on his old friend, tittering over his pretty eyes and hair, the same way everyone does.

"If it were up to me we would not meet at all, Satoru, but I appreciate your warm welcome."

Gojo clutches his chest with his free hand and cackles, tipping his head back as he matches Geto's pace with ease. The sunlight that pours into the open marble halls burns the darkened eyes of the man who was summoned here for no reason other than to be threatened and he finds his patience thinning with every word he is being forced to listen to.

"You wound me, old friend. Have you forgotten how much fun we used to have?"

Suguru snorts.

"Unfortunately, no."

They did have fun at one point in time before a war and their responsibilities turned a friendship into something uneasy - a constant power play between the man gifted with the divine dominion over everyone and everything and the man doomed to herd them after they've done their earthly wrongs. It hardly seemed fair but as you said, sometimes jobs must be done no matter how ugly they are.

"Well, if it's any consolation, I do not blame you for your misdeeds in regards to the young goddess. She is very pretty."

The mention of you makes Suguru bristle and the other god just shrugs, chuckling as he sips more wine and the two of them finally approach where your mother rests among her nymphs with her arms folded over her chest. If looks could kill, the Lord of the Underworld would surely find himself one of the damned.

"Nice of you to join us, Lord Geto. Finally able to carve enough time out of your schedule of torturing my daughter to show up?"

He offers a polite bow of his head, refusing to speak any further. A servant offers him wine and he refuses, raising a palm.

"So now you refuse an offering of wine? You truly have no sense, that's one thing about you that is perpetually true."

Satoru chuckles at his side, amused by your mother's undressing of the fellow god before her, and he recalls just how long all of you have known each other. Since you were young gods and goddesses, much like you who hasn't seemed to realize you are his captive and not his prize as he keeps insinuating.

"My demands are simple so I will not keep you for any longer than I must," your mother starts and Suguru's eyes flick upward to examine her. The two of you resemble each other enough that it's striking but you lack her venom, something he's grateful for having been bit by the snake more than once so to speak. "My daughter will be returned to me by next sunset and there will be no harm to you or your realm."

Finally, the man breaks his silence and he shakes his head with a chuckle, raven colored mane fanning around him with each movement.

"And if I refuse?"

Your mother chuckles in like, leaning forward in her sitting position. A man is smart enoguh to know when he's about to be bitten again so he takes a few steps backward.

For being a gentle Goddess of the Harvest, she sure is rotten.

"Then there will be repercussions."

He nods.

"She's happy where she's at. Come take her if you'd like to try."

Moving to turn on his heel and exit, he's stopped by a hand on his shoulder. He knows it belongs to Satoru and he sighs, tensing his shoulders to shrug him off to no avail.

"Now don't be hasty, Suguru. There is a lot at stake here."

The only thing he can think of is what's at stake being you. He could agree, send you back to this realm to pick and grow and dig until your fingers bleed. He could watch you as he has for all these years, cold and alone wondering when he'd have the opportunity to make you his own.

"If there's so much at stake, come claim what you desire so badly."

Satoru drops his hand and turns his head to look at Demeter, shrugging. His friend takes his leave, exiting through the corridor he just entered through

"There's your answer," he sniffs. "I did all I could."

If death himself is willing to die for you, there isn't much more than Satoru can do besides sit back and wonder what about you has become so enchanting to the man he'd risk it all for another taste of his little prisoner.

It has only been days since the last time you saw Suguru but you grow restless within his chambers despite the comfort they bring you.

You snuggle into his bedding, the familiar scent of him bringing only temporary ease to the pain in your heart his departure has brought, and wonder how his meeting is going but your mind drifts to things far less worrisome than if you'll be forced to return home or not.

Oddly enough, your mind settles on thinking about the man that Geto mentioned before his departure.

Lord Gojo is someone you've met a few times and you've always found him to be jovial if not a bit grating at times, flirting with the nymphs and servants without a care in the world despite his massive power. You take a moment to consider the differences between the two men, one wearing his power like a halo and the other like a noose.

You can't help but wonder if it's a difference in who they are in their hearts that led them to such opposing views of their power, perhaps even the world at large. You make a note to ask Suguru more when he returns, stretching your legs beneath the blankets over them with a frown.

The chamber doors open and you sit up, smiling as Suguru enters but your face falls noticing the droll look across his. You don't move to further cover yourself, allowing him see your bare flesh in person for the first time but the view doesn't spur the look off of his face.

"My treasure," he starts before sinking to his knees at the side of the bed. "You need to listen to everything I'm saying, okay?"

You remember this sight all too well, big hands capturing one of your own but you're grateful to be cognizant this time. He allows himself the luxury of one moment to look over you - your soft skin, your pebbled nipples topping perfect breasts, the delicate divot of your bellybutton - but the moment is fleeting as he meets your eyes and you understand the situation must be serious.

"I am willing to send the realm into disarray to keep you but I have to know that you want to be here with me and nowhere else."

Granting you a moment to think, he watches your face carefully for any sign of uncertainty. The faintest trace will mean that he failed, all of this was for nothing, but it hasn't appeared yet. You reach for his face, cupping his cheek in your small palm and he exhales, smiling serenely.

"Can you promise me freedom, Suguru?"

Pondering your words, fear seeps into his limbs but he decides to, for once, give you an honest answer. No deception, no hint of trickery despite how easy it would be for him to keep you here as his captive and not his lover. He could lock you away, post all the guards outside your door for all eternity and you'd never leave but he wants you to want him. To need him. To desire him.

"I cannot promise you freedom but I can promise you devotion like you've never experienced."

You nod and lean toward him, lips brushing against his once again. The intent is far less chaste than the first time, the heat you always feel stir inside of you when you look at him for just long enough sending fire through your limbs. Pulling away from his face for a moment, you smile and reach for his shoulders to pull him into the bed with you, to which he obliges. Kneeling above you, he searches your face and you brush his hair off of his face and over his shoulder.

"Then I promise you the same."

The confirmation he needs leaves your lips and he can hold back no longer, hungrily enveloping your lips in a kiss that you eagerly accept. It would take more time than you currently have to consider when you began to fall for this man who plucked you from your home and dropped you into a world not meant for you, so you simply choose to focus on the way his hands feel across your bare flesh.

They're as cold as you expected they'd be but it isn't unwelcome, deft fingers dancing along the underside of your soft breast while he dots your jaw and neck with sensual kisses that make your head feel the same way it does after you've enjoyed dandelion wine with the dryad back home - lighter than air and heavier than lead.

Groaning, he begins to rut his hips gently against your bare mound and you reach for the tie fastening his robes over his waist, fingers moving to untie the knot as quickly as you can. You don't expect to feel him pressed against you so quickly, the searing heat of his heavy cock sliding through your already slippery folds and catching on your sensitive clit in a way that makes you gasp.

"I-I've never done this before," you confess as if it's a sin, your stomach in your throat. He leaves his task of lavishing attention on your neck for a moment to meet your eyes, smiling in a way that makes your thighs clench around his torso.

"I'll take good care of you."

He will and he does, returning to kissing a path down your neck until he reaches your breasts, taking one pert nipple into his mouth with a lewd moan. The sound of him laving his tongue over the sensitive spot makes you arch your back, his cock still rubbing you just short of where you need him most and you whine. He releases your nipple from his mouth, the bud shining with his saliva, and cups your face.

"Patience. I'll make it worth your wait."

Switching to your opposite nipple, your back arches again, forcing more of your breast into his eager mouth. He loves seeing you already on the precipice of coming apart, fortunate to be the first and only man to ever see your lust heavy gaze.

You tear me apart, he thinks as he gazes up at you with your lashes resting against your cheek and your mouth open in a beautiful display just for him. Releasing your nipple, his hands trail down your torso and he moans, aloud, at the feeling of the hair covering your mound beneath his fingers. It's as luxurious as the rest of you and he promises on a day when less is at stake, he'll give you the attention you truly deserve. He'll bury his face in the thatch of hair and even lower, giving your cunt as many kisses as he wishes to give your pretty mouth, but with an uncertain future time is of the essence and he doesn't want to hesitate in claiming you.

Tentatively, he traces his finger along the seam of your pussy and you hiss at the teasing, canting your hips messily into his touch. This is true need, the sum of your want greater than any mishap that your clumsiness could cause, and he smirks against the top of your breast and watches your face contort in pleasure as he spreads your lips with his index finger and thumb of one hand, using his middle finger to rub methodical circles over your clit.

"Is that alright?"

He asks and all you can manage is a nod and a pant, walls flexing with each circle his finger turns over the engorged bud. Your head continues to swim and your eyes shut, your chin tipping toward the ceiling but he cannot allow you not to witness your own undoing. Using his free hand, he cups your chin gently and tips your face back down to give you a full glance at his sticky finger working its way to your entrance.

A squeak leaves you as he gently spreads the wetness seeping out of you from your cunt upward toward your clit, the slick feeling of his just his finger making your eyes roll backward in your head. This is nothing you've ever felt before but it's everything you've imagined, the gentle way he keeps kissing your breast as he finally works one finger into you making you moan. Open mouthed, hot faced, chest heaving - the exact noise he wants to hear you make for all eternity.

"Feels good?" He asks, dark eyes meeting yours as they open while he thumbs at your clit messily. Your walls constrict around his finger and it makes his already painfully swollen cock jump when he imagines how you'll feel wrapped around him like a glove.

Hips moving on their own, you try to match the pace of his finger plunging in and out of you but struggle and he takes control, hand dropping your chin and sliding down your torso to hold your hip. He helps you rock your hips gently, soft mumbles and moans leaving your lips and he knows what's about to happen before you do, cunt locking his finger inside of you.

"Oh Suguru," you pant, gnawing your lower lip and shutting your eyes tightly as you cum so hard your thighs shake with the force. He smiles against your breast and positions himself so that he's on his knees, hand that was just playing with your pussy running along his length to spread his silky pre-cum and your arousal along every inch.

Watching, your eyes widen when he slides his tip through your folds before positioning himself at your opening. He leans over your body, resting on his forearm and kisses you as he moves to enter. Blunt tip slipping inside of you, you gasp but only out of dizzying pleasure.

The noises encourage him to bury another inch, slowly giving himself over to every slick, warm part of you and you gasp in unison as he continues to bury himself deeper and deeper, finally bottoming out with a deep groan right above the shell of your ear.

"Mine," he whispers and you nod, chin resting against his shoulder as he buries his face in your neck.

There's surely no disputing it now as he begins to gently thrust, hips moving in a small, merciful rhythm.

"Yours," you whimper back, kissing the expanse of his shoulder blade between staccato moans. He feels too much, too big, too hot but you can't deny that it feels good, your walls flexing around his length as if you were made just for him.

The sensuality of the moment makes him realize he's coming close to his own orgasm and he reaches between your bodies to thumb at your clit, each touch making you squeeze around him tighter and tighter until you hold him in place once again, cumming for him twice and giving him unspoken permission to do the same.

He spills himself inside of you, the heat making you whine and he chuckles while trying to catch his breath.

"Still want to stay?" He asks, face still pressed into your neck and you nod, wrapping your tired legs around his waist to trap him against you.

A square piece of white sheet dotted with small spots of blood is dropped in front of your mother by a messenger sent from the Underworld courtesy of your beloved and she shakes with rage upon immediate understanding of the meaning of what's laying on the marble before her.

You are no longer her daughter, her prized little lamb, you belong to him.

The threat of war was just that - a threat.

Autumn and winter both passed without further questioning aside from a few additional visits from Shoko who has become your reluctant ally if not friend and confidante. She has kept you as informed as you need to be about the happenings above but, at your own request, keeps the rest to herself. You're blissfully unaware and fine with it.

Your mother's refusal to invade the Underworld with her own thin resources and Satoru's refusal to send any of his own troops after a now sullied goddess rendered all attempts to return you home as futile but you do return, on your own accord, to your meadow the day before you know your duties to bring forth the fertile season begin.

"And you're sure that you will be alright on your own?"

You nod, Suguru refusing to let go of your hand while Shoko watches him unamused. It's one thing to watch your friend fall in love, it's another to watch him behave like a lovesick child with no other choice.

"Let her go, Suguru. She has work to do."

He glares in the direction of the goddess who shrugs as if to say "it wasn't my choice" about your decision to return to fulfill your duties each spring. You know things cannot run without you here and he agreed knowing how much it means to you, letting you live barefoot in the sunlight for three months of the year.

His flowers stay in bloom even while you're gone, yellow painting his walk every morning while you're away.

"I'll see you soon, okay? Don't miss me too much."

Returning to your work came naturally, watching life spring forth from you as comforting as the sound of your own heartbeat and you can't hide your smile looking overhead to watch your very own protector in the form of a blackbird flying in wide circles above you.

"You think that's him?" A dryad asks innocently and you nod, gaze still fixed above despite your hands already working their magic on the yellow and brown grass below your feet.

"It is."

[obxsummer]

Pieces of You // JJ Maybank

summary: you had grown tired of JJ's reckless nature and were suffering the silent treatment post-argument. so it's only fitting the next time he's careless it's to save you.

request: Heyyy, I love your work with all my heart!! I was wondering if you could write a JJ x reader fic, where in S3 at the end of episode 8 Topper burns the chateau down, but JJ has to save them because they didn’t notice the fire or anything? That would be so nice:)

warnings: minor injuries, angst bc it's me, crappy ending bc I didn't know what else to write ok

navigation

--

Things had been a little too crazy for you and the Pogues. John B had supposedly managed to get arrested after knocking the shit out of Topper. Sarah did cheat on him after all, so his reaction was warranted in your mind. Kie had been busy dealing with the backlash of her parents while Pope and Cleo seemed to be the only duo without any major complications. Granted, Cleo did have to talk the boy out of killing Rafe for melting the cross but hey, minor details.

You and JJ however, were in the middle of the biggest argument you’d seen. At this point, you don’t even remember how it all happened minus the fact that the two of you stopped speaking shortly after his whole bike incident. JJ had the habit of being a little too careless for someone who had people that needed him and loved him. You were growing really tired of his reckless behavior. You loved JJ more than anything, but sometimes you wished he saw that his actions affected more than just him. You needed to know that he would be okay if you weren’t around to approve of his actions and make sure he didn’t go too far. 

JJ had been avoiding you since the moment you caught his gaze on the busted concrete. He knew he was fucked, and royally too. You’d warned him about being more careful and here he was doing powerslides from overpasses. 

He couldn’t get the words to work right to explain to you why he acted the way he did. It wasn’t just for the adrenaline rush, or because of his upbringing. JJ genuinely would do anything for you and the Pogues. He just happened to jump to the craziest way of getting there instead of taking the time to think it through.

“Will you just talk to me please?” His voice was pleading as he watched you move around your bedroom in a rushed fashion. You’d been quiet since Topper had dropped everyone off and your boyfriend was losing it with the silence. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. Do you want to talk to me now? Where was this initiative when you practically dumped me off your bike into the truck bed? Or, better yet, where was this when you just stared at me blankly like I wasn’t sobbing over the fact that I thought you were dead?” You were getting angry quickly and JJ didn’t like it. 

He hesitated in his response, enough that you let out a huff of air in annoyance before turning away from him again. Recently, JJ panicked easily. It all started once he lost John B but got better for a while, especially when he had you. Now that everything was colliding, JJ was panicking. 

“I just didn’t know how else to get the cops away from-”

“You didn’t have to do something that involved you almost dying, JJ!” You shouted this time as the random pieces of clothing dropped from your hands. “I know you care. You care a lot for everyone but JJ… I care about you. I care so much that you break my heart when you do things like this because I can’t lose you! And neither can our friends! I know you don’t think far enough ahead for your personal consequences but please… please think about how everyone else would react if we lost you.”

JJ walked out on you sometime after that. You’d clearly upset him and your friends definitely felt the awkwardness but if you were honest, there was so much tension between everyone right now anyway. Your small family was starting to waver but you knew everything would work out. 

Sarah had called you all over to the Chateau, promising good news. You had yet to see her as you slowly approached the group, Kie, Cleo, Pope, and JJ already in attendance. There wasn’t much conversation to begin with, but it all fell silent the moment you stepped into view. Kie gave you a reassuring smile that didn’t do much to ease your nerves.

The blonde girl that had asked for your presence came walking down the steps of the Chateau not long after, sparing the awkward silence. “Hey, um, thanks for waiting. Look who decided to come home.”

John B stepped out of the doors of his childhood home, looking relatively fine for the hell he’d been through. You were shocked that he had managed to get out of jail so quickly, especially with Topper’s family status being put into play.

“Welcome back,” Cleo greeted with a smirk on her face. 

“Whoa! Good to see you, man.”

You let out a small laugh at John B’s surprise presence. “Welcome home, JB.” 

“You gotta be kidding me,” JJ scoffed from his spot across from you on the large tree branch. John B tucked his hands in his pockets and walked towards all of you solemnly. He looked really upset if you were being honest and it made you wonder what had really happened. 

“I have something I want to share with you guys,” Sarah said as she pulled the attention back to her. “I can get us down to Orinoco.”

“Are you serious?”

“What?”

“Okay, how’s that gonna happen?”

“My dad’s gonna let us use the plane-”

“Ward?”

“Your dad?”

You rolled your eyes at the pop-up comments that seemed never-ending. “Can y’all let the girl speak? Geez.”

Sarah’s gaze met yours as she offered up a small thankful smile. “We lay low tonight, then wheels up first thing in the morning.”

“Okay, that’s a lot to process. Your dad actually helping us,” Pope recounted in shock. “So we trusting Ward now?”

“Trust Sarah,” Kie offered with a solidifying nod at her own words. 

Pope and Cleo seemed excited about the plan as Sarah spoke up again. “But wait, I also just have one more thing to say. Um… since we’ve gotten back from the island, I’ve done some things I regret. A lot.”

Kie cleared her throat in the awkward silence that followed.

“Yeah, uh…” To your surprise, John B broke the quiet. “I feel…I feel like we’ve all done a thing or two that we regret.” His eyes glanced at the blonde next to him before he looked towards the ground again.

Sarah continued, “And I don’t…Poguelandia, guys. It’s all I’ve been able to think about. We were all together on that island and it was a good thing and I don’t want to ruin a good thing. And I-I just wanna know, are we still all in? Are we still all together? Because I am.”

Kie was the first to agree, wrapping Sarah in a hug before Cleo piled in on top of them.

“I still can’t believe you got the plane!” Pope smiled as he brought the Cameron girl in for a hug. “That’s actually insane.”

You took a deep breath as you watched them, well aware of JJ’s eyes on you. He’d been staring for a while now, always observant when it came to you. You took a few steps forward to embrace Sarah before retreating back to your own space next to Kie.

“Let’s go get Big John, alright? What do you say there, shit bird?” JJ tugged Pope under his arm as he regarded your friend. You found yourself pulled into the group hug next to Kie and Sarah, all of you waiting for John B to complete the circle.

“I think this deserves a woogity.”

You watched from the corner of your eye as John B stayed still in his spot. You shook your head slightly and made eye contact with him while smiling. “How long are you gonna pretend you’re not coming over here?”

Your best friend’s blank exterior broke at the question, glad to see a smidge of positive emotion from you over the past few days. He caved and made his way toward your group, quickly throwing his arms over your shoulders.

“Come over here, funny man. We don’t bite.” The seven of you hugged each other tightly, finally all back in the same place for once in what felt like forever. 

“Oh, we’re really doing this, aren’t we?”

Your small family was slowly rebuilding as everyone made their way into the Chateau for the night. John B and Sarah were quick to excuse themselves to his room, leaving the rest of you to entertain yourselves. 

“Jay,” You whispered his name quietly as he brushed past you to the kitchen in search of a beer. You blinked sudden tears from your eyes and looked up to the ceiling in an attempt to not cry. 

Letting out a deep breath, you quickly made your way to the guest bedroom where you and JJ had spent most of your time. You stared at the colossal mess of your things scattered amongst his along the furniture and floor. Your chest ached at the sight, wishing the two of you weren’t on such poor terms at the moment so you could actually enjoy the peace before setting off on another treasure hunt. 

Busying yourself with a shower in the attached bath, you figured some quiet time would help you clear your head and hopefully come up with a game plan of what to say to your boyfriend. You didn’t mean to make him feel like shit for expressing his love the way he did, but you were scared for him. 

The hot water of John B’s shower was soothing as you took the quiet time for yourself. Eventually, you had to leave the comforting steam when it began to run cold. Completely disheveled and stressed, you pulled on some comfy clothes and attempted to dry your wet hair before you had to face the music again. 

You let out a sigh and reached for the metal doorknob to walk back into the spare bedroom only for a searing pain to stretch across your hand. Jumping back with a yelp, a rush of panic overwhelmed you once you realized how hot it was in the small bathroom. 

“JJ!” You yelled instinctively as you searched for the hand towel to possibly grab the handle with. The fabric held the heat off long enough for you to open the door. The sight of bright flickering flames filled the room you and JJ had claimed for yourselves, burning pieces of each other into ashes. You stumbled back in shock before the adrenaline kicked in and you ran into the smoky room in hopes of salvaging some of the items.

“Y/N!” The boy in question came flying through the bedroom door a second later. He could barely see you through the thick smoke but managed to catch a quick movement of your figure across the room. “Y/N, we have to go!”

Your heart was pounding in your ears too loud for you to register his voice. The few items you’d grabbed in a rush were thrown in a canvas tote bag Kie had given you before you spun straight into JJ’s chest. 

“We gotta go, baby, come on.” JJ tugged his your t-shirt up over your mouth and nose to help filter the smoke before doing the same and leading you out of the room. Most of the house was covered in the bright orange light of the fire as you observed it in shock. You could barely focus as JJ pushed your hips towards the window of Big John’s office that was left open from their prior escape. He was quick to climb out and turned back to catch you. Glass shattered from another window causing the two of you to duck down and JJ to grab your wrist to tug you away from the structure. 

JJ’s grip on your wrist eased up as he brought you towards the dock where everyone had gathered in their escape. Your boyfriend’s touch was gentle as he helped you sit on the ground to take a deep breath and cough out the smoke in your lungs. “It’s okay, ‘m right here, baby.”

Everyone was visibly relieved when they saw you and JJ come running from the smoldering flames on the side of the house. It all happened so fast that they felt guilty for completely forgetting you were in the shower. JJ had taken one small look and took off before anyone had a chance to stop him. 

Your hands were shaky with the anxiety and fear that was coursing through your body. In the few moments before you found JJ, you were thinking the worst. You thought you were going to lose the person who mattered most to you in the midst of an argument and that was terrifying. You’d never forgive yourself if you lost JJ ever, but to be on rough terms was a nightmare you’d never recover from. 

“Hey, hey. Look at me. Everyone’s fine, I’m right here.” JJ’s blond hair was suddenly visible in your view as he forced you to look up at him and uncurl from the ball you’d shifted into. “What did you grab?”

You released your suffocating grip on the bag you’d practically filled. In the midst of your panic, you didn’t realize your friends had moved away to give you and JJ some space. You settled back against the posts of the wooden dock to watch as he went through the items you grabbed.

JJ’s favorite hoodie, a handful of Polaroids Kiara had taken of your group, his rings, the necklace he’d saved up to buy you for your anniversary. JJ was careful with the items as he shifted through them, his eyes suddenly damp with tears. 

“Y/N, sweetheart, all of this is replaceable. You aren’t,” He consoled as he finally made eye contact with you. Both of you were crying now, emotions running high from the events that just took place.

You took a shaky breath as you fought back the sob threatening to break through. “I...I felt like that room was us. All of our memories, and it was just crumbling and you weren’t there. JJ, I can’t lose you.”

“I know, I know.” JJ didn’t hesitate to pull you against his chest as you cried against him. He’d felt the panic himself a few moments before when he realized you were still showering and blissfully unaware of the damage awaiting outside. JJ refused to let you be in pain because of him and his actions from here on out. It wasn’t fair to any of your friends but especially you. “Not doing anything majorly stupid from here on out. Maybe just a little here and there, but-”

You laughed slightly and pulled your head from his shirt to look over his shoulder where the Chateau was crumbling from the flames. Heart heavy, you leaned your cheek against JJ’s shoulder and let him hold you, hoping this was the lowest your group could go and things could only look up from here.

--

navigation

[someonexsomeone]

The Mask... Take it off

Title: The Mask... Take it off

Author: SomeonexSomeone

Word Count: 1.5k

Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader

Summary: Ghost is finally home, and you want. to help him demask.

Authors Note: Did I come back after an unexpected 2-year hiatus just to post something about a man I only know from fanfiction? Yes, yes I did. Crazy bc I actually simp for Soap way harder and if he could only dick me down rq i would sure appreciate it thanks-

His mask was always on.

You knew better than anyone it was a physical reminder of his guarded heart, the years of trauma and suffering he endured, the hope for himself to take whatever broken parts of himself he could and piece together someone who could help the world. Only getting thicker with each year, the mask was his reminder to protect those who needed it. Including himself.

Hard to know what a person is thinking without seeing their face, right? Simon Riley was an enigma.

But there was something in the way his eyes moved, the way they would follow as you walked around the room, carefully putting away his gear into a neat pile as he disrobed. Sitting at the end of your shared bed, he was a hulking specimen of a man. You couldn’t help but notice how his shoulders slumped forward in exhaustion, flickering to them for a moment before returning to your task.

You couldn’t look him in the eyes, not yet. That didn’t stop you from being able to feel them burning into you though.

After years of practice, he didn’t need to look to be able to know what button to press in what order, what hook to pull, what buckle to unsnap to free himself of his gear. He was meticulous, as with everything else he did, but his eyes were the only thing to betray his stoic personality. He watched you with a deep gaze as you silently took care of him like it was no big deal. Like it wasn’t making his hands tremble the slightest bit. How long has he been gone? How many nights apart from you? And how long was he allowed to stay before his phone crackled to life and he was whisked away on another endless journey? You didn’t want to know.

Neither did he, to be honest.

His eyes were trying to catch every little detail into his memory so he could pretend your time apart didn’t feel as long as it did. Your hair was different, he noted, and your nails were painted a different color. He didn’t recognize the pajamas you were wearing, nor the new pair of shoes that were by the door. Changes, changes, changes. He couldn’t help but notice them. He faintly recalls a story he read long ago, about a painting that changed every day despite it being impossible. You were just as beautiful as he remembers, just…different.

Your mannerisms, however, were completely the same. You skillfully tucked straps away, folded his padded vest just so, and even carefully untied the laces on his boots so they could slide off with little effort. You were kneeling in front of him now, pushing the boots to the side, making sure to wind the laces together and place them inside so they wouldn’t go everywhere on the floor. Simon couldn’t take his eyes off of you, not for a second. How he had missed you. He felt like a schoolboy again, tilting his head softly to and fro in order to catch your eyes. To get you to look at him for a single second, to feel relieved that you were here and you were safe.

Your eyes trailed up from his feet to his knees and thighs, no doubt looking for any new or reopened injuries. Your fingers carefully skimmed behind them. Wary. His skin erupted in goosebumps wherever you touched. You moved up higher, gently moving over his stomach towards his side where his latest injury was. Without even looking at his face, you could see the flinch in his body as you grazed the stitches over his shirt, only recently been patched up. You leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to his side, a silent apology (for what, he didn’t know). He almost smiled to himself. No doubt you were looking for anything he might have “forgotten” to tell the medic. Wouldn’t be the first time he hurried his own examination along to get the nurses to his teammates faster. After all, why waste their time on tiny cuts and bruises when he could simply come home to you and be showered in love and care he spent every waking moment craving. His hands were clenching against the blankets.

You continued on. Your fingers gently ran along his knuckles, gentle kisses of your fingers against hands that were trained to kill. That has killed. You didn’t even flinch, moving both your hands to his arms, gracefully sliding them up and up and your kisses continued on their trail from his injury. To his ticklish side, his rib cage, a cheeky one to his peck, and up and up until they reached the edge of his mask. His breath hitched. Years, he’s known you, and for years he’s trusted you. You know this. Know that this man trusts you with his life, a testament to the fact that you were one of the rare people to see his face (and more than once at that). But you still feel a little hurt when he flinches at your cold fingers sliding underneath it to press on either side of his neck.

Afraid. Closed off.

You gently nose your way up, running it along his face until your finally, finally, eye to eye. He’s hunched over so your neck isn’t cramping as much as you continue to kneel on the floor, and despite his large stature and the sheer predatory aura he emits without thinking, you can see his vulnerable eyes as they bleed into yours. You can see his struggle, the silent argument he’s having in his head to fight the instinct he’s carried with him for years and let you strip him bare. You press a gentle kiss to his cloth-covered lips, a silent acceptance. You love him, and will love him, no matter what. His lips chase yours as you pull away, his eyes flickering desperately for a second before he registers your resolve.

Ah. You want to help him.

Slowly, you lean down again, pressing your lips to the space at the end of his mask. Between his shirt and the mask is a sliver of skin that you greedily nibble at. He sighs, a smile sneakily tugging at the corner of his mouth. Little by little your kisses and nibbles push the cloth up, revealing more and more for your gentle kisses to attack. They’re light and delicious and Simon can’t seem to get enough, moving his hands to grasp at anything he can reach in order to pull you toward him in a desperate attempt for you to do more. More kisses, more affection, more love. More, more, more.

Your nose tickles his jawline, and he tickles you in return with his unshaven shadow. His breath hitches as the mask slips past his lips. He nearly doesn’t realize your lips attached themselves to his to replace the scratchy material that had just pushed past them. You kiss like you’re in a rush, a gasp of heavenly air after being trapped underwater for a second longer than comfortable. He makes a sound at the back of his throat that, should he have been a lesser man, he would have blushed at. He tries to desperately pull you closer, despite your body already being pressed against his chest, his arms nearly encircling your like a snake around its prey.

Once again you pull away too soon for his liking, leaving him breathless and wanting more. Your lips continue upwards, kissing his nose and the rosy apples of his cheeks as they are revealed. The room feels sweltering, but he can’t let you go. Not now, not after remembering what it’s like to have you in his arms. He has to close his eyes as the mask pushes over them. Your lips kiss each one before he’s able to open them again. You continue even into his hairline, pressing affectionate kisses there until the mask has been pushed completely away. It falls onto the bed behind him. For something that controls his day to day life, Simon easily forgets it in lue of bringing you back to his lips once more. You giggle quietly against his mouth as he attacks you.

Kissing you is like a fantasy he never believed was possible, and desperately, desperately, he wants to memorize each and every detail. He nearly eats you whole, and you’re nearly tempted to let him. He doesn’t attempt to stop the soft sounds that escape him as you once again pull away from him. Your smile is an easy Simon forgiveness pass. He can’t find it in himself to stay upset, especially not as you press one more kiss to his lips before standing, tugging on his hand in order to get him to follow you to the bath.

With his mask completely gone, you finally get to appreciate the small smile that morphs across his face, his adoring eyes saying everything you needed to hear. I missed you. I love you. Your Simon.

masterlist  l  mw masterlist

[moraxsthrone]

Kaeya fluff? Hell yeah

Imagine being the one person Kaeya leans on. For real, this man trusts no one and thought he would trust no one until you showed up. Now here he is, venting about his rough day at work while you run your fingers through his hair, reminding him just how much you love him. Maybe it's just me, but I think this man would MELT if you told him you want him romantically. Like, he's proud of how he can make you scream his name and all but having you say that you would be with him even without that? The man's dead, you killed him, but maybe he'll come back to you for a kiss ;)

Sorry, I don't think this is what you were asking for, but hope you like it anyhow?

anonnnnnn??? this is PERFECT!! it's even better than what i wanted?? skskskskssss. bless you, child, for leaving such a sweet delicacy in my ask box! 🥹💙

CW/NOTES — mention of sex but otherwise sfw. themes of low self-worth, abandonment issues, imposter syndrome (kaeya, not reader). fluff/comfort. gn! reader.

no, hun, it's not just you. you see, i've got quite a soft spot for lowkey insecure kaeya. it only makes sense??

i touched on this in my previous post, but i think kaeya secretly worries that you'll come to your senses one day and decide that being with him is more trouble than he's worth? he's scared shitless that he's inherently disposable (after what his bio father - and later, diluc - did to him) and probably suffers from a massive case of imposter syndrome when you tell him you're in love with him.

i think a big reason why he "peacocks" so much is bc he knows he's beautiful on the outside but thinks he's ugly on the inside and not worth sticking around for. beneath that cocky façade, there's a little boy who's terrified of being left all alone again. so he overcompensates by using his good looks and charming smile to win ppl over bc deep down he thinks that's all he's got going for him. of course you want to fuck him, he thinks. who doesn't?

but YOOOO when you touch his soul and kiss his scars, and you hold his heart in your hands like it's the most precious thing you've ever held? <i'm trying not to fucking cry here 😅> you hold it so close to your own heart and take care of it like it's yours (it is now, as far as he's concerned btw), kaeya fucking freaks the fuck out. he knows how to lose people. he's all too familiar with being discarded and abandoned.

but what he's NOT used to is being seen, accepted, and loved for exactly who he is, right to his very core. the first time you spend the night with him without having sex, he doesn't even sleep. he just lies there and watches you as tears blur his vision. he holds you and breathes in the scent of your hair as he kisses the top of your sleepy head, quietly thanking his stars for you and hoping his sniffling doesn't wake you up.

he'll know how it feels to be loved unconditionally and it's all bc of you. trust, this man will never step out of your relationship or do anything else to jeopardize what he has with you.

you're his home now, his center.

you're his present and his future.

you're his whole fucking life, his everything.

you're his person, the one who has his head in your lap, slowly brushing the tangles out of his hair with your fingers, leaning down to kiss his forehead and reminding him how much you love him. even and especially on his bad days when he needs that reminder the most.

[romanarose]

TRICK OR TREAT >:)

i love you <3

do i get a treat now

Yes you get a treat. This is why I asked you if you like Twilight bc I needed a reason to post this.

This is a edited chapter of my first MK series, Sunshine, Starlight, Sweetheart, Brightside. You shouldnt have to read all 33 chapters of this series jsut to read this yummy premise!!! So I edited it!

In the series, its a 3rd person and OC, so if I accidentally say "she" or "sam", ignore that.

The Twilight Baseball Scene

Marc Spector x fem!reader

Summary: Ever wanted to get finger fucked to the Twilight baseball scene?

Warnings and content: Fingering. Marc suffering for love. Reader is bicoded.

A/N: Jake is not romantically involved, and is just starting to get along with Marc.

Italics is Marc, Bold is steven, red is jake

****************************

Marc Spector was being torchered. 

He had been through a lot, seen and felt a lot of things as a mercenary, his time as Moon Knight (wait. Is Jake still doing that?), and his childhood, but this? This might top it all. You were spending Saturday alone with him and Steven; Steven had you alone in the morning, and Marc had you for the evening.

Steven’s date was wonderful, he took you to the local book store and let you pick out whatever she wanted. This was, of course, after he took you for coffee. Of course. 

Yeah. Yeah things went well for Steven. 

Marc, on the other hand, was wondering if this was a sneak preview into hell. He knew that it couldn’t actually be in hell; you were here.

He was watching Twilight.

You weren't even cuddling with him, you were on the other side of the couch, actually watching the movie. When they decided to have a movie night, he thought there might not be much movie watching as there might be sex.

Guys. Guys. Marc tried to get the other boy's attention. GUYS!

WHATS HAPPENING?! If a voice in his head could burst through a door waving a gun around, that's what Jake would be doing.

Whoa, calm down.

Marc?! Whats going on?

Jesus you two, nothing is happening.

Then what do you need? You’re supposed to be on a date.

I am. We’re watching... Twilight…

Marc swore he heard Jake laugh.

Oh god, how did that happen?

I told her she could choose the movie!

Well… that was your first mistake.

I thought she would pick something like Star Wars, Indiana Jones or Jurassic Park or something else with Harrison Ford! Not Twilight.

Well if you’re going to let her pick the movie you have to- wait… did you say ‘something else with Harrison Ford?’

Yeah?

Amigo… do you think Harrison Ford is in Jurrasic Park?

Yeah? He’s the one who isn’t Jeff Goldblum

I know who you are talking about Marc, that’s not Harrison Ford. 

You think that Harrison Ford played a grumpy paleontologist in Jurassic Park, and a grumpy archeologist in Indiana Jones? It’s the same exact character.

Well I’ve never seen either-

Hold on. You named Steven after some B movie knock off of Indiana Jones but you never actually watched Indiana Jones?

You can laugh all you want, but that movie was awesome

Wait, Marc, why were you yelling for us?

… I’m bored…

Dios mio, that’s it? I’m supposed to only show up when the body is in critical danger and now I need to baby sit you though Twilight?

It’s not babysitting, I just need entertainment. She’s out of commission right now

Marc looked over at you, whose eyes were glued to the Tv. Edward was on the screen.

Jake laughed. She’s doing that thing.

What thing?

That tongue thing.

Whattonguething?!

That tongue thing she does when she’s turned on…

Not very observant, are you?

What are you two talking about?

Look at her mouth, Ese.

Marc focused on your mouth for Steven. As expected, a tiny bit of your tongue peeked out from between your teeth.

Oh.

She does that when she wants you

Why are you paying attention to when she’s turned on?

Relájate idiota

Before Marc could respond, his head turned when he heard you mutter, barely a whisper. “As if you could outrun me, as if you could fight me off”

What the fuck?! What the fuck was that?!

She watches this movie a lot. She knows this scene line for line.

Jesus.

Marc thought the world of you. He thought you were incredibly intelligent, respected your opinions and loved to hear you speak so passionately about random subjects. He just couldn’t see what you saw in this stupid movie.

It’s comforting to her. She knows it like the back of her hand. To her, it’s predictable. Calming. You should know about that.

Marc saw his point.

You gonna hold her, or are you gonna let her wish it was the sparkly fucker instead?

Marc learned where you were sitting, causing you to turn and grin at him. You still looked at him like he hung the stars, which relieved him. Maybe Edward was a vampire who sparkled (?!?!?!) but you still loved him. For whatever reason.

You planted a kiss on his lips, Marc slipping his tongue into your mouth briefly before you pulled away, eyes flittering to the tv. “Thank you for watching Twilight with me, baby. I know it’s not how you’d like to spend a Saturday night.”

Marc pulled you over to him, easily lifting you up and into his arms. He settled back down, your head on the pillow and cuddled up on his lap. “As long as you’re here, I’ll watch twilight every night.”

Idiota! ¿por qué dirías que?!

I DON’T KNOW! I’M NOT GOOD AT THIS! I PANICKED!

If she wants to watch Twilight with me next week, you’re taking the body and I’m not distracting you.

I’m not either

Oh god damn it. Jake you’re back on my shit list.

What? Steven said it first, isn’t he on your shit list?

I’m his favorite

What, are we his kids now?

Jesus christ.

I mean, technically-

NO! NO! We are not having this conversation. Steven, you’re on my shit list.

Ha. follar y averiguar. 

If I give you a little tip to distract her, will you take me off the shit list?

What do you got?

When the baseball scene comes she’s going to get really turned on. Like, an insane amount. She’s gonna start squirming. Everyone in that scene is gonna do it for her, but she especially loves Edward and Rosalie. When that happens, put your hands down her pants. She’ll drop everything for you to fuck her.

Jesus christ. What happened to Steven?

Great sex, that’s what. How long until the baseball scene.

Another half hour, probably

Marc groaned loudly in the headspace. Steven and Jake tried to keep him company.

When the baseball scene started, Steven told him to wait a minute so you work yourself up. Jake excused himself. When he felt you start to shift and wriggle her legs together (Steven was right, you really liked Rosalie), Marc slid a hand down your pants, eliciting a gasp.

His other hand that was wrapped under you spent a moment to caress your body as he teased your clit, making you body lurch in his grip.

“Marc…” You whispered.

“Shhhhh. Just watch your movie.”

What are you doing?

I’m gonna make her come on my fingers.

Yeah I get that, but you’re going to need to distract her from the movie. She’s only going to be thinking of Edward the whole time.

Marc slipped two fingers into her as his wandering hand put a hard grip on her left tit.

It’s fine. I just want her. If Twilight makes her happy, so be it. 

You whimpered, eyes glued to the tv and breath shaking from his touch. The famed baseball scene played out before your eyes and you breath hitching when Jasper did the twirl with his bat.

Marc continued finger fucking you, swearing that your eyes were on Rosalies thighs more than anything. You swallowed hard, focusing on the music and his touch. When Alice saw the vision of the other 3 characters (have they been here before? Am I supposed to know them? Marc hadn’t been paying attention.) approached, He could feel you were getting close.

His left hand played with your nipples between his fingers as he tried to figure out what was happening. These must be the bad vampires, judging by the way everyone reacted. Jesus, no one in this movie can act casual for the life of them. The hand that had been on your breast moved up to your throat, causing you to buck against him, your body pleading for more. And god, did he give you more. Marc inserted a third finger and picked up the pace, carefully restricting your airflow as you watched the terrible movie. Finally, he let go of your throat and whispered “Come when you’re ready, baby”

He continued fingering you, paying less attention to the insane dialogue and more to the sounds her pussy made, so wet, so wet for him. One of the bad vampires must’ve said something, because Edward moved into a defensive stance around Bella. That’s when you came, pulsing around his fingers and writhing in his arms, your beautiful mouth gasping for air. He held you through it, fucking you through the orgasm and his other fingers skimming over your chest and stomach.

Marc had a theory you were turned on by being protected or feeling safe. That’s why you were so into Steven so early. He made you feel safe. You coming when Edward protected Bella? Well, that confirmed his theory.

Your hand moved back to touch Marc’s pants, but Marc stopped you. “Don’t worry about that. We got a movie to finish.” You sighed contently and settled into his lap.

I think this is what they call being 'pussy whipped'

He played with your hair and massaged your scalp for the rest of the movie. Now, if you wanted to get turned on when you felt safe, that’s fine by him. You are safe with Marc and Steven, and Jake it seemed. You were safe with them. They would never let anyone hurt you. They would do anything in their power to make you smile, make you laugh, make you cum. If that means buying an iced caramel macchiato every single day, that’s wonderful. If that means having you under him, writhing and sweaty and absolutely ruined? Yeah, that’s fantastic.

And god damn it, if that meant watching Twilight every night? Then shit, he’d learn it line for line.

****************

Is it lazy to repost chapters of my old fics?

Yes. But. who cares bc otherwise these scenes wouldn't have any reach outside of readers of the series.

I would like to take a sec to promo the series, its got an oc so i know its not for everyone and its long, but it deals with sa, sh, childhood trauma all that shit.

Thank you for reading ILY CLEEMMMMMMMMM

@runa-falls @campingwiththecharmings @fandxmslxt69 @whatthefishh @ahookedheroespureheart @littlenosoul @eyelessfaces @hon3yboy @ivystoryweaver @steven-grants-world @mikaelak @stevenandmarcslove @pikapuff-316 @del-ightfulling @faretheeoscar @boysddontcry @harriedandharassed

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

Okay no joke if I was Yves I’d be mad as hell too, like you chose this sloppy, forgetful man over HIM??? the same man that literally has your genetic sequence down to the allele by heart?? Knows all of your genetic information so well that it would put 23 and me to shame!! Not only that but like I think there was an ask about how an anon believes that Monty would’ve honestly attached himself to anyone who was just there at the right time meanwhile Yves’ love for his darling is entirely unique and under any circumstances he never feel this way for anyone else. Like UGH with Yves it’s literally all or nothing, if it’s no you, he doesn’t want it. But with Montgomery, if another person showed up he would’ve been acting the same with that person and not you!! Like his love isn’t “unique” I guess in a way.

Ooo I’d be so upset too. I wonder like has he ever at least THOUGHT about trying to do some technological fuckery to end the relationship between his darling and Montgomery? Like perhaps, doctor some text messages, do voice impersonations or create a voice impersonator so that he could make it seem like Monty was cheating on his darling, causing her to run into his arms. It would b EUREKA 💡 as f because he wouldn’t have to kill Monty bc he actually didn’t do it, and she’s no long with him. But RATS he probably wouldn’t want to bring that sort of pain onto his darling especially with the harsh feeling of betrayal, that can mentally scar someone for years, a feeling that Yves probably is quite familiar with :(.

Buttt at the same time we do have instances (such as if the reader was really old or suffering from terminal health issues) where he would lean more towards being selfish as long as you stay with him, so in certain circumstances he is selfish enough to let you go through pain as long as you’re with him. But dang now that I’m typing this, I’m like that’s probably not that good of a comparison, one’s a relationship and the other is your life.

Also he probably wouldn’t want to take away any of his darlings happiness either, but dang like what if it was something more subliminal maybe like you unconsciously hearing subliminal messages telling you to leave Monty and that all you need is Yves because he’s the only one that can make you truly happy Mann I don’t know 😔.

But at the same time I’m ngl!! I can kinda see why some of y’all like Monty. I think it was Chapter 39?? When he busted through the door of the house and essentially mollywhopped everyone. I was like wait,,, why is he kinda,,, I guess like some of the guilt of not being there for the reader coupled with what he heard was just enough to make him snap and go into a rage. And some people are probably more comfortable around someone who’s like Monty as compared to Yves.

But also like really quick! Does Monty have the same level of unconditional love as Yves? Like I think I remember reading somewhere that you could essentially try anything you want and Yves will NOT leave you, like he has permanently cemented himself to your side literally FOREVER like it’s almost cosmic in a way. I wonder if Monty has that same level of patience but in his own way.

Zhats enough of my unintelligible ramblings and questions, your last post really did it 4 me ooo I wanted to bite my phone!! Love your work!!!!!

the other ask in question

Holy fuckin shit anon thank u so much for ur thoughts i would love to hear moar feel free to ramble more in my asks!!1 these are the types of stuff that also keeps me going with my writing

also i got like newest installation where yves interacts with yan older bro

naw YVes wouldnt like paint monty as a cheater because the pain fuckin HURTS man, he would rather be cucked like indefinitely than let you go through the horrors of recovering from such betrayal, plus there is a chance that you get so hurt that you didn't want to be in a relationship anymore or even ASSOCIATED with men anymore, so Yves just shot himself in the foot

He's only selfish when it comes to keeping you with him, so too bad if you are facing horrors of the mind, you are getting revived

Yves is defnitely using the subliminal messages to his advantage. you would probably be all like "ewww" to Monty after the first few days, weeks if you're particularly into sad, dirty men. but true love can really work past that and there really isn't much he could do without devastating you

Oh yeah Monty's love is fr unconditional, if you are abusive to him, he will take it. Altho he would cry in secret, praying to god that you will one day change your ways and stop abusing him, he will never leave even if everyone around him tells him to. He would stay until he's dead or police actually caught you beating him into a pulp, but even then, he would say it was his fault for provoking you -- he would try everything in his power to get you out of trouble.

He isn't like YVes in a sense that he tries to change you, he will just beg pathetically and get fucked over and over without learning his lesson.

If you're dead, he's dead. Simple as. Nothing will get in the way of Monty's quest to be by your side as soon as possible.

thanx 4 reading my stuff anon ur analysis really made my day i love reading yalls thoughts

[stardustizuku]

sorry for using your inbox as a confessional im too scared to post in a tag where everyone knows each other. anyway the thing i think is most interesting about wilfried is how sylvester is characterized by his treatment of his failson. bc like the obvious answer after the ivory tower incident and at like eight other points in the story was to demote wilfried to an archnoble or to put him in the temple. bonifatius should have served as sylvester's very obvious example that like. an archducal family member can thrive and be better off if they're not forced into archducal competition beyond doing the training just in case everyone else dies. and ferdinand should have shown him that sometimes being put in the temple or otherwise demoted is better than being a target in noble society. especially once rozemyne shows up and hes repeatedly shown the ways the temple is improving and the importance of it to the duchy's functioning. and yet even in his conversation with bonifatius in i think book 5 hes so against it he would rather disown rozemyne. which you could interpret as him thinking that even if he understands all that that noble society will continue to target wilfried but it also implies that on some level sylvester did and maybe still does think that bonifatius and ferdinand have reached "bad ends", despite caring deeply for them and intellectually understanding that they are better off not being the aub. bc it's not like wilfried is completely incompetent, he's just terrible at politics. he's a skilled warrior and when he's not being coddled he's fully capable of buckling down and getting work done. but even though sylvester has been told exactly that by several people, after sylvester finally gives up on having wilfried be the unambiguous heir he's still very clearly trying to leave the path open for him when wilfried has obviously and repeatedly been shown to not have a talent or even really a desire for the position outside of not wanting to be a target and charlotte has been here the whole time. honestly sylvester's basically only done harm by reinforcing that him losing the seat WOULD be a bad thing instead of trying to improve conditions for non-candidate archducal family members if he's so worried about the fate of failsons. like idk i just think its interesting especially in light of the most recent chapter that sylvester certainly cares for rozemyne and doesn't want her to be forced into a position she doesn't want, but, like, he is still a noble, it's just that rozemyne is frequently sheltered from that fact because his interests and hers so frequently overlap. sylvester being a good guy who is still very much a noble is actually my favorite thing about him, way too often in isekai stories you get a prankster noble whose carelessness is played off as cute or funny even when it would have extremely real consequences, so having sylvester be a dude who clearly means well but is in no way immune from reinforcing systemic injustice even in his own family is very interesting. although i get why myne doesn't really clash with him over it, i do sometimes wish they kept the somewhat adversarial relationship they had in early aob and i hope that charlotte gets to conflict with sylvester more

Hi! Thank you for sharing! I was a bit busy and didn't notice the ask, but you make a great point.

Sylvester is a very well meaning guy, who sometimes (in an effort to avoid his children suffering) can be blindsided and ignore the truth.

In his case, regarding Rozemyne and Wilfred, he ignores them both in regards to what they want/need, in favor to what he believes they need.

Yes, he would rather Wilfred be the next aub and sorta of forces the position on him. But he also forces the idea of Rozemyne as his second hand, then wife, on her. He's genuinely trying to help, but he gets blinded by his own past. For a very, very long time he saw himself in Wilfred, and Ferdinand in Rozemyne.

But, even when Wilfred explicitly said he did not want it - the reason why Sylvester didn't accept him relinquishing the position was actually Rozemyne herself.

I can assume it was a huge blow, since granting Wilfred his wish would mean making Rozemyne (a commoner) into an Aub and he couldn't bring himself to do that, for various reasons. He knows Ferdinand would not allow it, it would cause problems with Florencia, and more importantly: Rozemyne herself would hate it. Sylvester actually does care for Rozemyne, in the few ways he can allow himself to care.

He knows that Rozemyne wants nothing to do with politics. She wants to make books and hang out in the temple and with commoners. At that point, keeping them together was not to give Wilfred "what he wanted", but to KEEP Rozemyne and give her what she wanted (and what he duchy needed).

Sylvester is truly a unique interesting case, because he's well-meaning, but messes up sometimes. No one can be sure if his actions are 100% correct, or if it was the best option. But nevertheless, he does try to clean up after the messes he causes, and protect his people.

[circular-bircular]

It drives me up a wall that ppl argue “anti endos are the only harassers!!!” And yet the past few days the sys course tag has been nothing but going against anti endos for? Some reason? Like just outta nowhere I started to see posts going on and on about how anti endos are sooo horrible and how dare they want anti endo only spaces like hello pot??

It’s just… infuriating to see it all bcs why the hell would anyone even consider looking at a different perspective if the first thing they see is people bashing anti endos (and often CDD systems in the same breath) and using that to uplift pro/endos like you can’t seriously claim to want anti endos to listen when everything is about insulting/shaming anti endos in a number of ways some less subtle than the last

I’m neutral on it all but if I was still anti today and thought “well maybe I should try to understand their side” and saw all that then?????? Hell no

Hell even being neutral I’m still not favorable to interactions bcs I don’t want that kinda energy in my space

Sry I’m just so GAH about it all and saw your post on syscourse stances and the harassment thing and was just “finally”

(Ough I’m so sorry I’m rambling hard on this one)

I fully agree that anti-endos aren’t the only harassers. But I also agree that endogenic systems are going through a lot right now. It’s easy for me to not see, but that’s because I’ve got a lot of folks blocked. There really are a lot of anti-endo assholes popping up each day lately, and I’m sorry for all the Endogenic systems dealing with that hatred. I’ve been there. It fucking sucks. I also am sorry for the CDD systems suffering through hatred currently, regardless of syscourse stance. It’s all hellish sometimes.

In my eyes, the way a lot of pro-endos tackle things isn’t beneficial. It’s either bait to encourage anti-endos to rage (which is often triggering to boot), or it’s just vocalizing hatred into a public space. Neither of these things are needed, especially if the goal is to make it so that anti-endos “aren’t a thing anymore.” Anti-endos fall into this same trap; many are trying to protect their disorders, but they do so via harassment, mockery, or similarly vocalized hatred. All in some attempt to “make things better for ‘real’ systems.”

It feels like many people in syscourse are doing something I like to call Aimless Activism. They know something is wrong (fakeclaiming, bad sources, ableism, etc), so they rally against it loudly and boldly, because That’s The Point. You’re Supposed To.

I’m guilty of this myself honestly. But… you need a goal. You need to have a point beyond This Is Activism, because if you don’t have an actionable goal, then you’re not actually working toward anything. You’re just shouting.

My goal on my blog is to share my personal experiences and talk about things that interest me. That’s it. I’ve tried to be an Aimless Activist for awhile now, convincing myself that it’s activism to argue online. And I don’t know, maybe to some, my blog fits that description. But at this point, I don’t… think it matters. I’m tired of playing in this giant sandbox where everyone is kicking the sand in each other’s faces while I try to build my sand castle.

I think a lot of other people are too. Has anyone else noticed how many new faces there are here? How a lot of the old faces have gone away? People are tired of the sandbox games where everyone kicks around sand. People want real things, real conversations, real connections — regardless of some stupid arbitrary label.

And that’s where it comes back to. “Stupid arbitrary label.” The ones who care about the labels are still playing in the sandbox and they’re gearing up for another round of fighting with “the other side.” Meanwhile, they don’t realize that the sandbox is only one tiny part of an enormous playground, and I’m over on the swings with friends I made in the sandbox, laughing about how nice it is to no longer have sand in my eyes.

I wish folks the best for getting out of there.

[thisisadonaldduckblognow]

yes a thousand percent absolutely lets go

(firstly i am sorry my post put anyone to a point of feeling the need to apologize for or feel bad for being Very Into Leo’s character. as someone who is flagrantly Very Into Raph’s character, i promise i wasn’t trying to throw a stone in this glass house. i’ve gotten burnt out on a lot of fanon leo stuff but part of why im so !!!! about it is bc i too love leo’s characterization and potential.. i swear

catch me catching my brain and tone malfunctions behind dennys later, sorry again gang)

BUT YE I’LL TALK ABOUT MOVIE RAPH STUFF TO MY BEST CAPACITY ALL DAY

overall i honestly... totally get raph being hard to get a handle on in this respect. like it’s pretty difficult to pick where to start and how to express it even just in an informal tumblr analysis post, i still haven’t managed to put together any kind of fic myself LMAO. bear with me i will do my best!

so firstly there’s just the veritable gauntlet of “stuff raph experienced/was dealing with in the span of the movie” to consider, i think. 

- his fear and anxiety over his family’s safety, for which he always always feels personally responsible. when he called the retreat during that first fight with the krang, he was absolutely terrified-- and i can only imagine how much scarier it was after leo bailed on the escape pod. like, there’s no way raph was not hauling ass after leo the second he saw that happen.

= he takes a hit for leo, as in just barely stops it and loses a chunk of shell/plastron in the process. he sacrifices himself using his pod to get leo out of there safely (and there’s so much to be said about the fact that raph’s pod seems to be the only one that didn’t auto-activate. that only he and donnie seemed to know they even existed. there’s a whole talk they must have had right there, like raph would probably have had to ask specifically for this feature.)

- the krang try to intimidate answers out of him about the key, and when that doesn’t get them those answers, prime literally jams tentacles into his brain and roots around until he can find what they’re looking for. so that’s one bullet point on the list for outright mental violation. it looks/sounds very painful, not to mention terrifying. 

^^ and honestly, this point of suffering in particular is one that i think would be hardest for raph to actually bring up/talk about with his family. because none of them were there. none of them KNOW. and how do you explain that to them? how do you try to make yourself break that out when they’re already worried about the other stuff that happened to you and to everyone else? when part of you is guilty about it despite yourself, because so much of your identity is tied into being a protector that you can’t help but feel like you should have been able to wall that info off somehow and keep your family safe?

- gets infected by the krang and put into the big gross pod to... incubate, i guess? there’s so much unanswered about the point between brain torture and getting found by his family tbh. was he conscious and aware of being left alone in there? was that why he was so out of it even before the mutation?

- and then of course there’s said painful, grotesque body horror forced krang mutation that he has to go through once he’s out of the pod! thanks i hated it! like it seriously looks so gross and painful.

- ah yes and the mind control... being used as a tool and a puppet and specifically set out to hurt or even kill the family he loves and wants to protect. 

- the standard “we had our cool epic boss fight against the evil alien but he kicked our asses with one flick and then punched mikey and donnie all the way to staten island” physical roughage, too. leo portaled him after mikey and donnie so he could catch them. donnie took the brunt of the krang punch, and raph took the brunt of the hard landing (he is holding his side like he might have some rib issues, they all look rough af down there phew)

- leo’s sacrifice is leo’s sacrifice and definitely a leo development moment as an action itself, i’m never gonna say 'yep here’s how leo getting brutalized in prison dimension is all about raph’. i’m talking about the like, aftermath and pre-rescue emotional toll that that has etc etc etc. ftr.

point one there is obviously just the grief. like, raph is literally incapable of standing when it hits. he’s on all fours, he can’t open his eyes. i made a post comparing the caps of raph’s face getting stabbed and raph’s face when it was sinking in that leo was (apparently) Gone gone bc the expressions are nearly identical. like just. absolute agony. 

- and on top of that, i sincerely think that leo’s “you’re one to talk, hero moves are totally your thing” apparent last words are gonna stick with raph for a very long time. even after they save leo. the look on his face after leo says that... man. i think there’s a very real moment of raph going what have i done, what did i teach him? about the entire situation.

the way this is already tl;dr oh well SO IG SOME OF MY GENERAL TAKEAWAYS AND THINGS I THINK ABOUT WHEN IT COMES TO POST-MOVIE RAPH:

first and foremost. rip raph sufferer of some of the most intense eldest child syndrome i’ve ever seen. he feels bad that he got used to get his family’s location. he feels bad that he got used to harm and nearly kill his family. he probably feels bad that leo feels bad that his shell is damaged, smh. it’s guilt all the way down. the kind where he knows logically his family does not want or need apologies, that getting controlled was literally not his fault, but he feels bad anyway.

and like i said i get how it’s hard to get a handle on him for stuff, because raph is also... not super good at the emotional vulnerability sharing? it’s so wild because he’s very openly emotional and easy to read! he’ll cry during a sad movie scene and yell at a frustrating video game no problem, he’s very straightforward! but when it comes to sincere vulnerability and actually seeking comfort/closure about it, he has a big struggle vibe. good luck to the entire family bc every single brother is gonna be in a “oh but everyone else already has so much to deal with i don’t wanna pile more on with my problems” zone, i think. 

also just like. raph is a protector. that’s one of the core pillars of his sense of identity and worth. he takes care of his brothers. he keeps his family safe. and so so so much of what he went through or experienced in the movie went directly against that. raph, the big brother, the beating heart of the team, the one who takes hits, the overprotective mother hen, gets used to track down his family, and then gets used to hurt them. very nearly gets used to kill leo outright. isn’t there to take the hit for leo again at the end of the movie, is helpless as his little brother seemingly sacrifices his life to save them and the world. how does he come to terms with that? how does he feel like he still deserves the trust and faith that his family puts in him to keep being a rock? (they’re not scared of him, but he’s scared of him.)

and for real seriously how does he ever ever get around to dealing with that brain probe and the mutation specifically. his mind and his bodily autonomy got so deeply violated in the process of this movie. it’s scary! and painful! what kind of scenario would a writer even have to rig up to back him into enough of a corner to share those feelings with his family (who would absolutely want to comfort and support him)! it’s nightmarish stuff that’s gonna linger with him for the rest of his life. 

and in fact on the mutuation/mind control. i think the fact that leo was able to get through to raph just with words, that that was how he managed to break through the control, maybe means that raph was aware of what he was being made to do all along and just. unable to pull enough strength together to stop it before that point. woof.

idk idk if any of this makes real sense or helps for getting a handle on raph’s character at all tbh, it’s just a lot of me nonsensically putting him in a jar with a leaf and a stick for scientific observation ig. if ppl wanna hit me w questions or discussions about my personal opinions on my favorite boi feel free tbh

maybe the real raph character analysis was the hug and nightmare-free nap he probably desperately needs all along....... ah its too late hes dissociating on the couch. relatable.

[cha-melodius]

OMG I remembered I have another ask for you: I can’t seem to find The Man from Uncle to watch in the UK, which is a shame bc I want to read your fics about it and also Henry Cavill gets me all 🫠 ever since he wore a henley on Superman. So, here’s my question: tell me a little bit about it? A little backstory on Napollya (iirc from your posts 😂) so that maybe I can just enjoy the fics? Pretty please? x

Back in action for asks! *cracks knuckles*

I would love to give you some backstory! (Also, if any of my TMFU folks are reading this and know where to stream it in the UK, please chime in!)

The good news is that for a lot of my AUs you probably don't need a huge amount of the background to appreciate the dynamic. It's a pretty classic enemies to friends to lovers setup, with the added bonus that (in the movie) they are actually true enemies rather than just people who dislike each other haha. I am going to put the rest of this behind a cut—no major spoilers for the movie, but it's gonna get long lol. So if anyone else also wants a character rundown + some important stuff about their dynamic so they can dive into some of my other fics, here's your primer!

Ok, so character rundown:

Napoleon Solo: aka "Cowboy," aka "The CIA's finest", formerly a top tier art thief who no one could catch, until he finally tripped up and got arrested. The CIA plucked him out of prison to work for them, and his handler still treats him like criminal dirt. Enjoys fancy cooking, classic yet fashionable suits, is utterly charming, a massive flirt, supposed to be the 'womanizer' but consistently shows a refreshing respect for women (especially given the James Bond comparison).

Illya Kuryakin: aka "Peril", aka "The youngest person to join the KGB", a giant (6'5"), inhumanly strong, super hostile and gruff exterior, surprisingly bad liar, polite king to little old ladies, actually softer than a marshmallow on the inside. His father was a Soviet official who got thrown in the gulag when he was a kid for embezzlement, forcing his mother into a kind of prostitution to survive. Probably resulting from that trauma, he suffers from dissociative episodes when he gets extremely upset in which he does things like trashes hotel rooms (his hands shake when he feels one coming on). Manipulated by his handler with threats of being sent to the gulag like his father. Favors turtlenecks and simple outfits, also a fashion snob. Extremely attached to his father's watch, which he wears.

Gaby Teller: aka "Chop Shop Girl", East German auto mechanic who's father was a nuclear scientist pulled out of Germany by the Americans during the war, leaving her behind as a kid. No-nonsense, prefers slacks when dressing herself, sometimes plays mother to our bickering boys. Possible alcohol problems.

Alexander Waverly: British Naval Intelligence, ultimately organizing the operation, a bit of an asshole but in a charming way, keeps together the team at the end as UNCLE (independent spy organization).

Victoria Vinciguerra: The evil mastermind. Napoleon sleeps with her at one point to save the operation, later she drugs him and leaves him to be tortured. Very tall, very fashionable.

Also other minor character you may come across in AUs: Oleg (Illya's KGB handler), Sanders (Napoleon's CIA handler), Alexander Vinciguerra (Victoria's husband), Rudi Teller (Gaby's Nazi uncle).

The main thrust of the movie is that Napoleon and Illya are both sent to East Berlin to try to extract Gaby for their own purposes, only to learn that they will actually be force to work as a team to take down the bad guys. They actively try to kill each other in not just their first but also second meeting. There's a scene where they argue over fashion while buying Gaby a new wardrobe that is *chef's kiss*. Extreme levels of banter and snark in every interaction. BUT, as these things go, they gain a grudging respect for each other. Napoleon saves Illya's life, Illya saves Napoleon's life. They work together as a team exceptionally well. By the end, they are trading extremely fond insults. There are moments of self-sacrificial plays to save a teammate you're not even supposed to like, gift giving, betraying your principles/agency for the other person. There is a canonical will-they-won't they between Illya and Gaby during the movie (one of the reasons another major ship in this fandom is an ot3 between them), but nothing actually happens.

I think that basically sums up their dynamic and gives you the backstory you'd need for the AUs especially. For the post-canon ones it's a little tricker since I'd rather not give away the main twist of the movie, BUT a lot of them are kind of "in the future working as a team already" setup that don't really reference movie events, so you'd honestly probably be fine there too.

All right, that's a lot of text lol. I hope it helps, and I hope you enjoy the fics if you decide to dive in!

[wetcatspellcaster]

“But instead I thought, 'hey, you know, I get it. Break ups are hard. There's obviously some anger there, and you've had no one to express it to. Maybe it’s ok you built a house instead of coming to help, despite being literally invulnerable’. So I talked to Wyll, and we started inviting him to things. We checked in on him, we offered to let him join us on missions - though he never came. We tried to make him feel... included.”

Karlach ran her fingers through her hair, “I invited him to my birthday party - can you imagine that man, the way he is now, with a bunch of my friends, at my birthday? My first proper party, in fucking years, never mind my first birthday since I was freed from Avernus for good? Astarion was… horrible. Angry. Prowling like an animal. All but spitting on everyone else there, just for the sin of being people, you know, with flaws, and with their mistakes and their lives. Someone said something silly, and he charmed them, right there in front of me. Asked them to admit they were an idiot. He only stopped because I asked him to, and I saw it - the moment in his eyes, when he remembered I was a person he was supposed to care about. It took him longer than it should. And it was like he didn’t even consider the rest of them to be real people, just extensions of me.”

“But… we kept trying. We made things smaller, so it was just us, like the good old days. But… he just got worse. Crueller. At first, he only hurt himself, hosting those big grand parties with every vice under the sun, that he clearly hated, and fucking everything that moved, just to prove he could. And then when, surprise! That didn’t make him any less fucking miserable! He just started lashing out at us. Made us meet him at the Caress. Told us all the terrible things he was doing, just so they had an audience beyond himself. The things he used to say to Wyll…”

Thank you for the ask! :D

So, as I said in the chapter endnotes, this was my first time writing Karlach properly (you will note that she now keeps coming up in An Honest Lie bc I awkwardly have to pretend she's always been there, and everything else I wrote was Early Access). I was super nervous when posting! 1. bc she's a new character and I found her voice difficult to get down. 2. bc she's the fan favourite and right out of the gate, I was making her suffer :-)

Saying all that, Karlach was a really fun POV for this fic and this chapter's development specifically bc while she is self-sacrificing, I also think she is not as much so as Wyll, or my Tav. She's been through too much shit in her life and been burned by trusting people like Gortash, so if a guy looks shady af and treats her like shit, I think she has absolutely has a cut-off point, no matter who that person is or was to her in her past. She isn't just going to suffer for the sake of it, she will call a bastard a bastard if she needs to... unlike the resident martyrs of the party.

So yeah. I had Astarion ruin a birthday party :') This is partly bc, for all that this fic deals with Astarion's villain era, I'm not a Dead Dove girlie, so I needed the evil things he does to have emotional impact without being gruesome or triggering. I figured ruining our Best Gal's birthday would be a pretty effective crime to add to the list.

Why was Astarion a bitch at this birthday? A number of reasons. The first is that it hurt to see Karlach and Wyll happy and free of infernal influence. The second is that... Astarion is just forgetting how it works to be around people. Manipulating people he's still got down, but just... being in a space? With people he cannot control and has no power over, who he just has to let slip up and fumble and be generally choatic around him? I imagine the inhuman monster isolated and frozen in time without his soul forgot that pretty quickly, after a year without anybody but those he bought to his side on his own terms.

It truly is as Karlach says: he got angry at others "just for the sin of being people". Astarion is no longer human/mortal, and he cannot relate to humans anymore. He also cannot stand seeing other people happy in ways that did not require any supernatural aid or sacrifice - a reminder that he could've done it that way, if he'd been brave enough to risk it - and he also doesn't like people who seem undeserving of that happiness - ie. people who just seem to be 'doing fine' without any seeming effort.

What did the person who was charmed say to trigger it? Well, I think they were maybe one of those type of people: an average guy who'd stumbled into something good that he didn't really deserve through circumstances that were not his doing. I imagined him as a pretty arrogant mercenary that would be in Karlach/Wyll's wider circle of friends (a guest of a guest, say, in the adventuring trade), who is bragging and peacocking and isn't really a good person? Just an alright one? But talking about himself like he's the dog's bollocks. And Astarion got bored of him talking and so he charmed him and humiliated him, bc he was frustrated with this random man's existence and also bored.

In regards to the final paragraph, I struggle to imagine Ascended!Astarion as someone who is crass enough to often resort to violence. I imagine his brand of cruelty as being a lot more psychologically driven. For all that game Astarion brags about loving to kill, his arsenal is, ultimately, emotional and sexual manipulation first and foremost. So in this 'descent into villainy' (again, the non-dead dove edition), I tried to make Astarion's evil manifest by making people physically and emotionally uncomfortable through his behaviour. Pushing them to see how far they'd break, or how far they'd compromise themselves and their morals to be around him. Especially people like Wyll and Karlach, who would care if he hurt himself or make up narratives about how it was a cry for help. I think partly, Ascended!Astarion loves to watch these characters twist themselves into knots trying to find excuses for his behaviour, striving to remain kind to him and remain his friend even as it gets harder and harder. And also, maybe, somewhere, it's a fun test for him - to prove that people still care, that he still has people who care for him, until they don't and they're gone.

DVD commentary ask

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

megumi 🤝🏽 yuuji

dying even if it’s only for a good minute only to be brought back to life bc fate realizes if they died for real then they would need to find someone else to fuck over. those two are like fates favorite barbie dolls.

apologies if this post is going to seem all over the place, just bear with me. i don’t even know if you’re going to see this BUT it’s okay bc i need to get this out my system 😭.

starting off — god, imagine the chaos that will ensue when megumi tells nobara & yuuji about his very tragic history with the zenins. but like he wouldn’t even tell them straight up, he’ll just make a little deadpan joke (my sarcastic, sassy son) & the others would look at him like : ??? wtf do you mean by that sea urchin head???

like imagine itafushikugi going shopping for like traditional japanese clothes for a little festival or some shit (megumi was dragged by his spikes to come along) & nobara is having the time of her life finding outfits for her & the boys. like it got to the point where she’s dressing them herself & she shows megumi an outfit that looked similar to the robe he was forced to wear bc of the zenin (it’s obviously not the same) & megumi just refuses to wear a robe with similar color patterns to the zenin robe.

megumi: that looks like the outfit the zenin forced me to wear. i wonder what happened to it, cause the last thing i know, i got blood all over it. so as the second member of the zenin hate club, im not wearing that….

megumi: wait that blue one looks decent. i’m going to try it on.

nobara:

yuuji:

nobara: …did he really leave without giving us the “ getting blood on a zenin’s robe” story?

imagine maki complaining about naoya in front of the first years, & maki just brings up naoya’s onesided beef with megumi & her stories of how naoya was so petty back in his childhood made him remember who tf naoya is (megs have selective memory, it’s okay)

megumi: ugh, he was so annoying. i remember when he came to my middle school back when gojo was busy dealing with the aftermath of his evil ex boyfriend evil plan & he basically kidnapped me. i was stuck in a car with that man for 40 minutes..you would hate him nobara.

maki: yeah you would hate him nobara.

yuuji: i’m sorry he kidnapped you??? why did you say that so casually?

nobara: fuck that. megumi is a disney princess, we know this already. BUT we’re just gonna gloss over gojo had an evil boyfriend?

& imagine when megumi finally tells his friends about the zenin clan was when yuuji just came back from the dead & they were asking how tf that’s possible. & somewhere in that conversation megumi just let it slip that his heart stopped beating once & itakugi looks at him in silence:

megumi: yeah the zenin clan basically forced me to exorcise some curses & complete a ritual to get a snake — that snake fucking bit me. it was my least favorite. but yeah i basically died. then yuuta brought me back. then i was blind for a good minute.

nobara, yuuji, & even sukuna:

megumi: it was a terrible time for me. gojo was even more clingier & protective. it got to a point where he started treating me like i was 6 again… reading me bedtime stories, singing me lullabies & describing the pictures in the stories since i was…yknow blind.

cue itakugi & even sukuna wanting to burn down the zenin but ofc they can’t do that…so they settle for pulling pranks on the members & traumatizing them ofc.

IM ALSO imagining how funny it would be for yuuji to be jealous of yuuta. like bro is basically living yuuji’s fantasy world. i’m giggling at the idea of yuuji fighting for his life to be either megumi favorite or nanami’s favorite.

you also opened my eye to the potential of maki & tsumiki… like i also like to imagine that in a happier world, they would understand each other on such a deep level. but they would also find parts of the other that they wished they had. but on a happier note i like to imagine that megumi would suffer whenever it was brought up that his aunt is basically dating his step sister. like maki would be a menace to megumi. every little thing he do? maki is texting tsumiki in a corner.

maki watching itafushi cook together in the kitchen: i can’t believe megumi has a boyfriend. it’s so cute that he thinks that he can hide this from me. lemme go snitch to tsumiki.

maki listening to megumi describe his fight with sukuna, a cursed spirit who apparently has a stripping problem: oh my god. megumi is truly yuuta’s boy. they both got cursed spirits obsessed with them…i need to tell tsumiki.

maki to megumi after witnessing his suicidal tendencies: don’t make me tell tsumiki.

i honestly love your story. the way you added so much more to megumi childhood is beautiful. it just make soooo much sense. but also your characterization of gojo is so precious to me. i’m waiting for gojo to go apeshit on the zenin. i’m also giggling in anticipation at gojo finding out about yuuta attachment to megumi. i like to imagine him to be kind of worried about it actually, bc that’s not fucking healthy. but i imagine him getting used to it since megumi will have a protector in the form of yuuta & his power of love.

i’m also curious to see mai’s role in this story since.

*sighs in disappointment at gege writing choices*

since she had a crush on megumi…yeah. but imma just interpret that as she wants to be his family. it keeps me sane

i also wanted to ask if there’s a chance that you would write a megumi POV of what happened in the zenin clan? ofc i would understand if you wouldn’t since it leaves a much more ominous feeling to the events. plus yuuta running commentary is a good mix of angst & humor so ofc i understand.

Yuuji: man fushiguro almost checks the boxes for a Disney princess. except he was never kidnapped or enslaved

Megumi, sold to the Zenin clan, who later kidnapped him: *sweating*

Nobara and Yuuji would be the co-vice presidents of the "fuck the Zenin clan" club if they knew what happened. They would be the presidents but yuuta and maki are already in a death match for the position and they're trying to avoid the bloodshed. they are not allowed to be treasurer because neither of them know how money works.

megumi is unaware that a formal club has been formed.

Megumi is suffering SO HARD in any world where maki and tsumiki are together. they won't stop ganging up on him when it comes to his love life and general wellbeing and holding hands where he has to see it. maki lectures him about his suicidal tendencies in the field, holds up one finger, calls tsumiki, and lets her pick up where she left off. maki tries to talk to him about relationships one (1) time and he tries to drown himself.

see i'm pretty open to writing a megumi POV but it, like most of my stories, falls in this nebulous category of "if i have the time." like, i've thought about writing megumi's pov before, there's a lot of stuff that happened that exists as like, background knowledge for me that will never make it through yuuta's pov because it doesn't make sense for yuuta to find out about it. It would be very tonally different, but if i did write it, it would be a different work entirely and i'd be making sea glass gardens into a series.

i'm eternally tempted by the siren call of making my works into a series. If i did it with sea glass gardens, i would want to add a one shot of Megumi's pov during the time leading up to sea glass gardens and a short multi-chapter of the gojo, nanami, shoko teen parenting trio. If I have the time, it will exist; if i don't, it won't.

[bowiebond]

Okay this was more of a "hey wouldnt it be funny if” thought because there is no way this can fit in a canon timeline, but imagine Steve having three supernatural/Upside Down affected, superpowered boyfriends that love him and protect him

1. Post-Flayed!Billy: regains control outside of the hive mind but retains his black veins and badass super strength (he is the biggest and physically strongest of the bfs), probably also his ability to sense those like El when she tries to remote view him or sense MF shenanigans like Will

2. Vampire!Eddie: came back from the dead post season 4; paler skinned and red eyes, cute sharp fangs and claws, pointy ears, and maybe he folded bat wings too?? Depends on how freaky he could be lol I think he has a little enhanced vampire strength and speed too; the fastest/most agile of the bfs

3. Superpowered!Jonathan: El got powers, I’m a “Will Byers has powers” truther who thinks he was born with them, let's apply that to Jonathan too lol; whatever powers are up to you, like one could go telekinesis like Henry, El, and the test subjects, or something else like telepathy, force fields etc; the most ‘magicky’ bf I guess haha

Imagine the carnage if some or all end up fighting each other over something small and Steve gets annoyed, bc his freaky bfs have the abilities to absolutely level Hawkins together if they wanted to but instead they’re fighting over who gets to cuddle with him that day

(But also imagine when someone or something threatens Steve and that’s when they all kick into gear together to protect their bb)

I never thought of superpowered Jonathan omg, I love that so much??? Also love the idea of them fighting over Steve’s attention and time because all three of them are actually very hotheaded. Billy is the most obvious, but Jonathan is a ball of rage if you push his buttons and Eddie screams all the time and definitely knows how to throw a good right hook and run cause of his prison father ✨

So Billy having strength, Eddie being agile and Jonathan being the shield? You got a top class party according to Eddie, and Steve is their heart of gold paladin who is willing to get his face smashed in for his boyfriends but usually gets saved from that fate 😂

The shenanigans though, god. Billy tinging black instead “green” when he’s jealous and Jonathan constantly rolling his eyes at the other two because they’re the most argumentative. They’re a power team against him thought because Jonathan is as sneaky as a snake when it comes to getting on Steve’s good side while Eddie and Billy shout over something stupid. All three of them love metal and rock and Steve just has to suffer with their tastes, least he be hissed at by Eddie every time he tries to turn the player off.

Billy knows how to push Jonathan’s buttons and it usually ends with him stuck to the ceiling by one of his dome shields until Steve finds him and asks Jonathan to let him down, saying it’s too early for this shit. Jonathan usually complies once he wrangles out a half-hearted apology from the blond.

The idea of Eddie with pointy ears and little fangs ahhh; his big old wings he keeps tucked against his back <3 they almost brush his feet because they’re thin and need the girth to make up for his weight, but he uses them as blankets during movie night more often than not. Perfect cuddle tactic because Eddie loves cuddling, Steve centric or not

Also, I think Eddie refuses to feed off any boyfriend except Steve because Jonathan and Billy taste awful. Billy more so. His blood is essentially dead and the only thing keeping him alive is Billy’s own sheer willpower (that’s a lie, they have no idea how he’s standing, but they have theories and jokes). Jonathan just tastes weird, probably because all the chemicals in his blood are just inherently different due to his body rewiring to handle his power. Will and El are similar in that regard, but Eddie isn’t tempted to snack on them unlike he’s boyfriends. So Steve is his go to nibble, but it’s fine because Steve loves neck kisses and basically counts it as the same just a lot more intense ✨

I love the thought of anyone fucking with Steve, whether it’s government or just customers at work, and having his own literal gang of monster boyfriends to scare people off. Just a glare is enough for regular people, but government gets the hint when Eddie flies one of them up a little too high and cackles, threatening to drop them while Jonathan barely breaks a sweat shielding off bullets, Billy’s veins coloring like ink and grinning like an absolute maniac before he slams someone into the floor. Steve is just there trying not to be arrest, screaming at them to quit it and nothing really changing because all three of them are overtly protective and enjoying it a little too much. Jonathan’s the only one who can chill out on command, even if he grumbles, which often leads to him having to bring the other two back to their morals.

They work well together as a polycule and are very happy with their regular human boyfriend who works a boring 9-5 and spends the rest of his time giving them all his attention <3

[beaujolais-oh-fuck]

Summary of this long-ass post: If u wanna join my Freerice Group, the joining code is: 2ZJPCWMH and anyone & everyone is welcome to join!

This is probably incredibly sick and f*cked-up of me and like a very vile part of my ED-brain, but one way I try to assuage the intense guilt I feel from restricting/fasting (seemingly) by choice, while there are devastating & unspeakably horrific hunger & starvation crises occurring throughout the world, is by spending my free time doing those "click-to-help" donation site thingies to fund aid and food donations to starving populations (the two I use most are Arab.org in their Click-To-Help section https://arab.org/click-to-help/palestine/ and The Hunger Site (although I have read some very sus things about them on reddit??? I only really resort to this one bc my middle school health teacher had us do this one every day for a week, so I implicitly trusted her judgment for years bc she was known for having 6 prior mar!juana possessions on her record).

Anyways, the other thing I do daily is I play the Freerice game (you can find it on the World Food Programme Website). It's a free trivia game where as you play, you generate donations (the site was previously were funded purely by ads, but recently they were able to acquire several large sponsors to cover the donations instead, since they said it's more consistent and reliable that way) for the World Food Programme, which uses the money to organize and distribute food aid all over the world-- but especially to populations suffering from emergency-level food insecurity and starvation rates (such as in Palestine, South Sudan, Democratic Republic of the Congo, etc-- there's a list on the WFP website of the areas that are under the "Emergencies" section).

p.s. The "grain of rice" in the game don't represent actual real grains of rice, they're just a conceptual representation to help you visualize the worth of your donations adding up.

anyways. So what my mentally ill brain does is: for every "bowl of rice" (a certain donation amount) I do on Freerice, my ED-ass thinks, "Oh good, for every 'bowl' I 'fill' it's literally keeping me distracted from binge-eating and INSTEAD, all the food I COULD have been eating in that time I was playing-- I can use that distraction from eating to generate legit food donations for real starving people who actually WANT to eat and desperately NEED the nutrition. As far as coping-mechanisms go, this one isn't so bad!"

That's how my brain-fogged, guilt-ridden mind works. I'm so ashamed of choosing to deny myself food, when I know for a fact that there's stuff going on in the world like the Israeli government using forced-starvation as a tool to commit genocide against Palestinians by creating and maintaining a man-made famine. So i try to mentally justify my ED behavior by imagining that the time i spend not-eating while playing Freerice is a way of somehow magically transferring my ~potential food ingestion~ to another person somewhere else who ACTUALLY needs it.

ANYWAYS, my point to all this rambling is that I wanted to offer my Freerice Group Code to anyone on EDblr (or just anyone in general) who might want to join my Group and collectively track the donations we generate together :')

My Freerice Group name is "Rat Terrier Devotees" (bc I have a Teddy Roosevelt Terrier lol) and the Group Code is: 2ZJPCWMH Please feel free to join (regardless if you're EDblr or not, obvi)!

[deathfavor]

@deiscension said: holding a mic out for the commentary you mentioned in the tags of your last reblog

You are opening a can of worms. A bucket in fact. But i shall take them and go fishing and chatter away to the wind. ( And break it down muse wise so ppl can skip muses they don't care about. )

POST IN QUESTION.

So by FAR, those who relate to that the strongest are Lamia, Ling Wen, and Seiroku

He Xuan and Earl are more middle

Izana is the least but not for the reasons you might think. And as a bonus I'll mention Sekhmet bc she's interesting for why she ISN'T despite being vengeful.

I'll put this under a read more because this is turning out very long, way longer than I anticipated.

LAMIA does NOT forgive. She is the epitome of resent and remember if you've done wrong to her. She WILL hate you and she WILL enjoy your suffering. In fact, she probably purposefully has made your suffering worse. Go to hell might be too nice of a way out. Why not suffer here and THEN go suffer in hell for all eternity? She'll make sure she makes you suffer more when she gets to hell too. ( She's under no illusion she'd end up anywhere else if there is an afterlife. )

LING WEN also is very vindictive. It's beating a point to a pulp but we SAW what she did with annihilating Jing Wen's existence. ( And with help from Pei Ming in the process of destroying + her terrorizing his followers. ) Ling Wen.....does not forgive. Granted, those around her never would apologize. Not really. Pei Ming and Shi Wudu are probably the only exceptions and SOLELY because she knows if they did something, it was not on purpose and their apology would be sincere. Anyone else though?? Absolutely not. They can go through the agonies of feeling their very souls destroyed and she will sit with a cold, uncaring expression even if she does greatly enjoy seeing those who've wronged her or made her suffer now suffering.

AT THE SAME TIME !! Ling Wen has a hard time with herself after book 5 (or 8 or whatever the official is listen i follow the pre-official release versions okay) but when she essentially keeps her job because......literally no one else can run the Heavenly Realm and all the paperwork and such. Truly success is a burden. But in all seriousness, especially with Pei Ming......his forgiveness to her is a bitter pill. She never wanted HIM to suffer, she even invited him to their side in the final battle just to ensure he'd be safe. He forgives her and moves past it, but I think Ling Wen has a hard time. She never hurt him, she never wanted to hurt him, but being on opposing sides was hard. Mercy & Forgiveness can be HARD to swallow. ( Tbh i can ramble forever about this but i think this makes my point. Her rejection of forgiveness also is a sword over her own head. )

SEIROKU is interesting because in general, this only applies to Bushi. He can never forgive the Bushi as a whole, as a group. A lot of this comes from his personal experience, and it cemented itself as a core part of his personality. Especially after he died and his heart was replaced with the Black Hearts that amplify desires ; his is revenge and death to all Bushi. As a whole, Seiroku will always hate Bushi. The Date clan is the EXCEPTION, not the rule. When it comes to someone who isn't a Bushi though, Seiroku can be forgiving. He's not often in a situation where he needs to, but anyone else - a farmer, a seamstress, whoever, he is more inclined to forgive. So Brittney, why is he on the strongest? Because Seiroku's held this hatred and unforgiving attitude to the Bushi for over 100 years now. He WON'T let it go, at this point, he CAN'T let that intense hatred go.

HE XUAN is in the middle because if you are important to him, he can forgive. He might remember, he might put distance, but he CAN forgive. Especially when he cares about you. It might take time, he needs to think about it and mull it over, and the person needs to put in effort to show they genuinely are apologetic and deserve his forgiveness. His forgiveness comes in incriments. The potential is there. But he DOES lean heavily towards strongly relating.

He Xuan cannot forgive the crimes against him, his family, his fiancée. All who suffered not because of their fortune, not because THEY did anything wrong, but because HE XUAN'S fate was stolen. And their fates were tied with his. In truth? This is one of the most painful and intense sources of pain from He Xuan. He could have endured prison, an agonizing death, being broke, he could have endured countless sufferings. He might have been angry, but he wouldn't have been as powerful of a ghost as he ended up becoming. But BECAUSE the fact is that all of the people he loved suffered EXCRUCIATING fates because of his fate being stolen, his anger grew into something extremely intense. It didn't JUST effect him. It affected the people he cared about most. He became entirely hellbent on revenge despite having no clues for a long time. He can never forgive Shi Wudu.

And I think a part of him will always resent Shi Qingxuan. Despite it not being SQX's fault, there's a bitterness because, theoretically, had SQX's family listened, SWD and SQX would have still lived good lives because of family wealth. He Xuan was born into extreme poverty even BEFORE the fate switching. And it's not SQX fault but how can he not suffer and subconsciously resent knowing this person having HIS fate is why those he's loved perished in horrible ways? That SQX gets to laugh and enjoy life while blissfully unaware none of it is deserved? He genuinely does intend to never cross paths again if he can help it by the end.

EARL also is heavily towards the strongly agreeing side. He is a very distrustful person as it is, everyone around him knows it. It's important; his wariness and distrust has helped keep Legion powerful and ahead of all the other gangs and groups. He's always steps ahead of everyone else for this very reason. He gives his trust to very few. And if he gives it and you break it? It's over. He will not give it again. Earl may trust in someone's SKILL or an ABILITY or TALENT, but he will not trust THEM as a person. Go to hell indeed, he's never letting them close.

There are very few exceptions to this. Horo and Zoya are primarily the only two that he could change this. Because ultimately, he cares for them more than most other things. Horo is, genuinely, what Earl cares about above all else. Above Legion, above Zoya, he might not seem like it and people might never guess it, but Earl would do anything for his little sister. He really is a good big brother like that. If she did something....Earl could forgive her. He might be upset, but he could and would forgive. And the same goes for Zoya. He is more likely to express his anger or displeasure, but there's very few things she could do that would make him not be able to forgive her. Anyone else would be very heavily dynamic dependent. Earl can trust and care a lot, but he can also turn cold and abandon it if the trust break truly is something severe. ( Something silly however he might be annoyed but not care about. He WILL remember it though if you try to prank him. Few have ever succeeded. )

IZANA KUROKAWA is the least in agreement with this, but not for the reasons you think. Simply put? Izana doesn't trust people to begin with. There are VERY, VERY, VERY few people he genuinely trusts, and even that can fluctuate with how stable his mental state it. I would say MAYBE two at most are who he trusts. So if you fuck up? It's over. Izana will ANNIHILATE you - there won't be anything left to grant forgiveness to. Izana genuinely has no comprehension for people's limits. At 12 he hurt people so bad they were permanently disabled - kids and adults - as revenge. Not to mention what Izana drove the ringleader of the group that attacked him to do. He'll send you to hell personally. He's the least in agreement solely because you wouldn't be around TO be forgiven. He doesn't want you around and no one is going to disobey him.

SEKHMET is the most interesting to me tbh. Because as a goddess, if you piss her off, she WILL curse your entire bloodline for the entire length of its existence. Changing names doesn't change your blood, it will follow you and she will make sure the curse is effective thousands of years later. She's a VERY vengeful goddess if you earn her wrath. You will pray for oblivion because everything truly will be suffering.

But Brittney, then why is she not included?

For the same reason: Because she's a goddess. If you give enough quality offerings to her, if you do great feats in her honor or attribute them to her, if you celebrate immensely, beg and plead and praise her above others - she will forgive you. Maybe not YOU, but she will remove the curse from the rest of your bloodline, so your children and grandchildren and so on will not suffer because of you. THAT is mercy from a god. If you TRULY dedicate everything to her, if you are skilled enough, she might remove a curse from you herself, turn you into a champion for her and ensure glory to you and her name. This is mercy from a god. Sekhmet's wrath is on a WHOLE different level from humans or even from someone like He Xuan's wrath, but she ultimately can be appeased and grant a god's definition of forgiveness. Remember; she is a goddess. A god and a mortal's definition of forgiveness may not be the same, but it is still forgiveness.