#oops I got a little pretentious about this one

[its-just-a-spark-but-its-enough]

Song of the Day 12/10/2022

The View Between Villages - Noah Kahan

My favorite song of this album. My favorite song this year. One of my top ten favorite songs EVER. Noah Kahan has been an incredibly slept on artist for years. Busyhead, Cynic, and Hurt Somebody are really good, just to name a few. But listening to this album, I can understand why THIS is the one that’s popular. This man’s voice is incredible, the instrumentals in every song are so beautiful, and every song just feels very raw and emotional. The whole album speaks to the small town kids and folk lovers. I could go on and on about every song. I love the slow build up. It starts nostalgic. The beginning feels like a deep breath, like gathering oneself. Then the song intensifies and you feel that mingled relief and anxiety of returning home, of being, to quote the title and song, back between villages. It just gets you right in the chest.

Favorite Lyrics

It’s really hard to choose with this song, because Noah Kahan is a wonderful lyricist

A minute from home but I feel so far from it

The death of my dog, the stretch of my skin

It's all washin' over me, I'm angry again

The things that I lost here, the people I knew

They got me surrounded for a mile or two

This whole part is what got me the most, I think. Going back to my small town after being on campus, this really resonates. Yes I’m seeing family, but you also think about the years behind you and the people you’ve left behind. There are high school and middle school friends I don’t talk to anymore. I wonder where they are. Over the break, I know they’re here too. Fifteen minutes away and yet I may never see their faces. It’s strange. It’s an aching feeling, but not necessarily bad. And there’s this sense of being home—but never being able to go back to what once was.

Final Takeaway

Oops I’m crying. This song leaves this little ache in my chest that I don’t altogether hate. The lyrics resonate as someone not only who grew up in a small town, but also as someone “back between villages” in another sense. As a college kid, you’re not quite an adult, but you’re not a kid anymore either. It’s a weird transition period. I would never want to go back to living at home full time or back to my high school days—but there’s always that lingering bit of nostalgia I can’t shake as I walk forward into the unknown. I fucking love this song.

[bitter-panacea]

Goultard's backstory, comparing the Dofus manga and the special episode Part 2 - Falling in love

Part 1

The special ep and the manga are the most different when it comes to Goultard falling in love.

The most notable difference is that Goultard falls in love with one witch instead of three. Certainly because they thought Gou having three girlfriends/wives at the same time wouldn't be politically correct enough for a short film meant to be showed to french tv channels as a way to prove Ankama had what it takes to make a tv show (Wakfu).

In the manga, Goultard goes after a trio of witches, the dark sisters, who keep stealing food from their village and causing chaos. He's not really interested in stopping them, really he's just charmed and intrigued... (maybe he's kinda fascinated... and wishes he could be free like they are idk idk maybe who knows)

Kiki : Alright girls, I've got everything we need... Let's go!

Guy : Well, Goultard? What the hell were you doing? These three witches ransacked the whole village! And you didn't even lift a finger!

Goultard : I... I don't know, I wasn't myself, they must have cast a spell on me... / Guy : A spell? My ass. You're losing it! Talk about a hero... You're a pervert, that's what you are!

The way this guy talks to him like he's a completely useless imbecile really proves Goultard's only respected as long as he does what people expect him to do...

So he throws a large boulder the size of a small boulder at them, making them drop the bag of stolen food.

Kiki : Listen little peasant, we don't want to hurt you. Give us that bag and you'll leave safe and sound. / Elvie : Pretty cute for a little peasant.

Goultard : Shush... A small demonstration is better than a long speech...

Kiki : You think we're impressed, you pretentious macho? (Still... A tree with only one finger!) Let's see what you can do againsnt our magic powers!

Dark sisters : Take this! / Goultard : I wonder which one is the cutest...

They insult him, make fun of him, threaten and eventually attack him... and I guess that totally does it for Goultard. This is also exactly what Algathe did before he fell in love with her, so I'm pretty sure that's just his type.

Goultard : Now, you've really gone too far... You've burnt all my clothes off! (Gou like "teehee oops i'm naked lol ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ " )

Kiki : It's impossible... No man can resist our magic! / Elvie : Seems like he can.

Goultard : Now, may I give you some advice? / Kiki : Keep your advice and take this!

Goultard : Please, don't make me hurt you! / Kiki : Ow, my arm. Where does this strength come from?

Goultard : No idea, I've always been pretty sturdy... Now, if you'll excuse me... I believe this bag of provisions must be returned to its real owner. See you later, girls! (omg nobody look! he's ass)

Ah yes... No creature could resist Goultard, whether monstrous or feminine... / Kiki : What a guy... / Elvie : I'd like casting a love spell on him.

They dont ever say it, but you cant make me believe that these three "single" witches, who people call "sisters", (who lived together secluded from "respectable society"?) and did petty crimes together, weren't all dating one another. Goultard was just the latest addition to their cute little polycule. Thanks to his idiot rizz. And supposedly huge dick (If Elvie says so I believe her)

Elvie : Oh! Now that's what I call a magic wand!

His dick pictured here, here and here (pictures kindly provided by @dj-m0th thank you lmao)

( ＾◡＾)っ✂╰⋃╯No!! you leave that thang alone!!

In the special episode, the unnamed witch initiates the flirting with Goultard.

She IS very cute even if she doesn't seem mean like Goultard usually likes.

They dont waste any time getting to know each other. As shown here by this VERY subtle broom riding illustration.

In the manga, the relationship takes a little more time to develop.

Thus, after a few months, the relationship between goultard and the dark sisters grew friendlier. They first began by repairing the damage they had caused and helped Goultard to fend off the most aggressive monsters.

Over time, the three sisters and goultard became more intimate / Kiki : Take your finger out of there, naughty boy...

Looks like they're having fun. Good for them, good for them....

His wedding was magnificent and thousands of warriors came to pay homage. They were even surprised to see some former enemies arrive during the ceremony.

(Cabotine isn't there, is she dead?)

Life went on and Goultard was the happiest hero in the world. / Monster : Goultard, you little worm, come taste my balls... / Goultard : Stay in bed, girls, I'll be back in five minutes... (He'll be back right after tasting this dude's balls I guess)

They had many children and lived happily ever after

They have four children, three boys and a girl. Riri, Fifi, Loulou, what the fuck is the daughter's name oh my god (Fun fact : Riri, Fifi and Loulou are the names of Donald Duck's nephews in french)

Goultard's family is what he cherishes the most in the entire world. He truly loves that simple domestic lifestyle....

And this is it! Happy ending! No looming threat in the dark and certainly no part 3 to this post.

Part 3 Part 4

[time-to-write-and-suffer]

Seven snippets, seven people

Was tagged by @lonsdalewrite forty bazillion years ago, finally have enough material and spoons to actually share stuff. Thank you for the tag!!

Gonna do the elf marriage wip (Nettle and Song if you're pretentious (and I am)) cuz it's the freshest one

Tagging (lmk if you want off this ride or onto it)

@hanna-writes, @nabanna, @croaceian, @angelofthemornings, @descent-of-stars

@rrrawrf-rewrites, @scribble-dee-vee, @forthesanityofsome @meanceclosetohell and YOUUUUUUU!

Putting the snippets under a cut cuz I can't be bothered to edit them rn but I might feel up for it later also it got kinda long oops

1

“Relax. As long as you don’t murder anyone, these talks will be the most peaceful interaction we’ve had with humans since the war ended,” Del mumbled while they waited. “It’ll be fine even if you don’t speak. Or smile. Or make any sort of positive impression.”

“Uh-huh. I’m sure they’ll love giving their princess away to the meanest-looking asshole in the Given Earth.”

“Meanest-looking? No-no, dear prince, you’re a pretty elf boy. Humans find elves irresistible, you know. Just pout and bat your little eyelashes, and they’ll let you get away with just about anything.

Roel grimaced, hand tightening around the hilt of his sword.

“Wonderful.”

2

Mother sat down next to Teddy, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “Nobody can force you to marry against your will, Theodosia. No matter who says what, no matter the so-called political benefits or diplomacy. You are not cattle to be traded.”

Mother glared at Elias, who winced, “Stop. I didn’t bring Teddy up to trade her.”

“Then why did you?”

“And why not? Is this better? What’s left for her here, where she’s not allowed into the royal palace without an invitation? Where her own mother and siblings can’t see her without sneaking behind the king’s back like criminals? She didn’t do anything wrong!”

3

“Ted? Is everything alright?”

He put rubbed her back gently. It made the tears sting harder, and she blinked them away stubbornly. If people noticed Efra, they’d notice her and her expression, and that would lead to gossip. Better to have the elves be the main talking point rather than the queen’s rejected child having a crisis.

“Yes, I’m fine,” she sighed deeply.

“Are you sure? I could tell them to wait.”

“No, it’s fine. I was just remembering some things. Nothing to worry about.”

She forced a smile. Efra didn’t seem convinced, but this wasn’t the time to figure out Teddy’s emotional traumas. He had to drop it almost as much as she.

“The elves are ready to meet me, I assume?” she said when he kept staring at her with that worried expression.

“Yes. But I’d rather come up with an excuse than have you break down in front of them.”

“’Break down’?” Teddy scoffed. “Please. If I were breaking down, there would be casualties.”

4

“I forgot that humans welcome women in combat,” Del said thoughtfully. “Androel, would you consider this a virtue or a flaw in a woman?”

Roel hated his brother in that moment, when Del forced all eyes to land on him.

He grunted vaguely, “Depends on who she’s fighting.”

5

“Do you have magic too, Lady Frye? Were you blessed by your goddess?” Roel wondered, genuine curiosity softening his tone.

Lady Frye smiled demurely. “I have been blessed by Etheme as well as any other member of my family, Your Highness. Even if it was never quite so obvious as those of my siblings, I am still grateful for it.”

“For what?” Roel pressed.

Her smile took on a strained edge. “One must be grateful for everything Etheme deems fit to give. My only gifts were a full belly and a loving family.”

So she hadn’t received a blessing, then. She had no magic. Wasn’t that so much easier to say than whatever other nonsense she’d been going on about?

The song was coming to an end. Soon, they parted, and Roel bowed along with the other men. She curtsied deeply.

“Thank you, Prince Androel,” she said. “I hope we can dance again sometime.”

He didn’t.

6

“But don’t you want to choose who you marry?” Mother asked. “What if they demand heirs? What then?”

Teddy hadn’t thought that far. Or rather, she hadn’t wanted to think that far. The idea of simply sharing a bed with Prince Androel made her queasy enough, but imagining touching him? Or him touching her? It made her want to peel her skin off.

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get there. If we get there. Aren’t you worried a little too prematurely? What if Prince Androel says no?”

She half hoped he would.

Mother shook her head, “I spoke with King Roendel. The prince is willing.”

Oh. So it was really happening.

After that awful first meeting, too! It seemed the prince must’ve had his own reasons for accepting, since he was openly disgusted with her.

And every other human.

And everything in general.

7

“How long do I have to stay?”

“There is no time requirement, Your Highness, and you may leave whenever you please. Though I would recommend staying for the better part of an hour at the very least, if you cannot tolerate a whole night.”

“Can you?” he challenged.

“I don’t see why not. I’ve a good book, some hot tea and biscuits, and it’s a warm summer night. There are worse ways to spend an evening.”

“Where will you sleep?”

“In the bed.”

“And where will I sleep?”

Theodosia pursed her lips, her cheeks bursting with sudden color. “I’m sure the bed can accommodate two people.”

“Which part of ‘I am not touching you’ escapes your understanding?” Roel sneered.

“If at least one of us is awake when physical contact accidentally happens, we each would be able to stop it. And if it happens while we’re both asleep, what difference does it make?”

[lestappenforever]

it’s funny to me how people project their hatred for lestappen both as a romantic pairing and as individuals onto their relationship. yes, people ship them, just like any other celebrity has been shipped with their co-star, band mate etc long before the internet existed. they are aware of this, it comes with the territory and so long as no one disrespects them or takes the ships to their face it’s okay (y’all know rps rules and this is not to talk about that)

what this is about is how people who hate them or hate seeing them together will say how charles hates max and just tolerates max because you know max is so annoying and the dev while charles is an angel princess who will just talk to him so as not to be rude and for pr purposes.

which this logic doesn’t even make sense because outside of the two of them, there are 18 other drivers on the grid. the funniest thing is that this evil max they claim charles hates and just tolerates is beloved and is friends with at least half and is cordial and well like by most. the same applies to charles. majority of the grid seems to get along (i recall half the grid went to horner’s cook out some time this year)

suffice to say, charles always seems intrigued by max and seeks him out after and sometimes before a race. they talk and you can tell they genuinely care about one another. yes, no one said they are best friends, or maybe they are not. they talk about each other in such a beautiful that i rarely hear them talk about any other driver. they do care, they probably even love each other now.

oops this got long. my point essentially was, people who make them seem like they are just doing things to appease fans or for or make them look bad. because i genuinely believe those two guys choose who they want to talk to or not talk to because they are mature adults. charles made it very clear in austria 2019 that if he was mad at max he wasn’t going to stand around and pretend to be happy when he isn’t. max has on several occasions made it clear when he’s pissed at other drivers, he is brutally honest about it. yet, he’s so soft about charles. it’s because they care about each other and have come so far. their relationship has evolved they are actually friends now (maybe even more not that we know) people should just stop projecting their insecurities and biases on those two and give them credit that they actually know what they are doing and genuinely respect each other. they are not some pretentious pricks who just want to appease fans. to what end? they are not even teammates.

This, this, this, a million times this.

Honestly, anon, anti-shippers are just so sad. In most cases, shipping is just a fun little thing people engage in because it brings us joy and makes up happy, and those anti-shippers that take it so damn personally have some deep-rooted issues they should probably explore in other ways instead of projecting their very intense feelings onto something that's just supposed to be fun.

I'm not implying you should be a fan of or enjoy every ship out there. Hell, there are plenty of ships out there I personally cannot stand. But, do I spend my time trashing them and trying to make those people who do ship them feel like shit? No. Do I go out of my way to try and prove how ridiculous their ship is? No. Why? Because shipping is supposed to be fun, and I don't take other people's ships personally.

If you have an issue with a ship, ignore it. Block their tags. Choose not to engage with or look at content of the ship you don't like. It's that simple.

The fact that Charles and Max actually do respect each other and do enjoy each other's company is clear as day. And those who try to insist that it's "all for show"? Please. F1 is one of the pettiest sports on the planet. If those two fully grown men didn't actually like each other, they would avoid each other like the fucking plague, they wouldn't bother pretending to appease anyone.

[buckybarnesss]

on fire: a teen wolf novel chapters 14-16 chapters 10-13 here chapters 7-9 here chapters 4-6 here chapters 1-3 here

annnndddd i'm back with another installment of on fire. we're in the home stretch now as the next three chapters will cover the end of the novel.

this section took me some time because 1. i do not care that the whittermores were robbed and 2. there's two long, detailed flashbacks with kate and derek that i found difficult to get through.

speaking of.

as always kate argent is her own warning but just in case i will be talking about those flashbacks so warnings for grooming and rape.

me this entire chapter:

we open this chapter back on lydia. who is now tied up by Thing One and Thing Two. she specifies she’s tied to a Louis XIV gilt wooden chair.  now lydia says it's antique but pssft mrs. whittermore totally got a reproduction because she's new money trying to pretentiously pretend she has class. the whittermores always give "his wife covered the house in chintz so to keep it real i fuck him on the floor" energy. 

lydia goes on to describe the robbery and look, i don’t really care about this. let them get robbed. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

lydia also gets to have her own little flow chart to show just how smart she is:

we move from lydia being a hostage to hunter gramm (we learn this is not his real name. his real name is bailey) plotting how to dispose of jackson. cassie doesn't want jackson to get hurt so she pleads for him to just dump jackson somewhere and escape to mexico like they had planned. bailey isn't listening though because he gets a phone call.

cassie is trying very hard to keep jackson’s dumbass alive as they listen to bailey have a conversation with one of the goons back at the house. he realizes they have lydia and he’s afraid for her. chich is sweet. honestly their behavior and thoughts towards each other throughout the book have been very in line with their toxicity in the show. caring is not a weakness, oof.

we’re back in hell -- oops -- i mean another flashback to six years ago with kate and derek.

remember i read this so you don’t have to. 🤮🤮

kate gave derek something to eat or drink i think was laced with something that makes him sick to his stomach and he goes to throw up in her bathroom. 

i just want to wrap derek up in bubble wrap and keep kate away from him forever and ever. 

derek’s a ball of anxiety throughout all this. he wants to appear grown up for kate and impress her. he doesn’t want her to see him like the child he actually is.

derek spends about a paragraph waxing poetic about werewolves. he calls his pack his “moonborn family” and i like that sentiment actually.

what I don’t like is “like wolves, werewolves mate for life.”  this may be a Me Thing but i’ve never been overly fond of the whole mate concept within fandom. i just thank my lucky stars it's not canon.

there’s a moment when derek’s about to leave kate’s apartment where she moves to kiss him and GIRL HE THREW UP. YOU KNEW HE DID. YOU SET HIM UP FOR IT. YOU NASTY.

derek leaves and he’s just swimming in anxiety and insecurity over the “date” with kate. he feels like a loser because he wants to be Grown Up and have sex. he physically starts to jog away from her place. it’s like his body knows what his mind isn’t even entertaining. that she's a predator and he shouldn't be doing anything with her in private.

derek runs and ends up outside of beacon hills hospital where he sees the stilinskis. little stiles, his father and the unnamed claudia stilinski. i couldn’t make this up if i tried. this is such a classic trope. 

of course in canon by the time of the hale fire claudia had been deceased for a year but we don't find that out until season 3 so it can be forgiven.

he observes them. holder gives a clear reference to what a lot of fandom assumed before it was revealed that mrs. stilinski actually had FTD and went with the idea that she had cancer referencing remission. he notices how nervous stiles is and how it reflects his own nerves. 

this brings derek to the idea that humans can get sick, they decay and die. it freaks him out. which, okay, i guess since this version of derek doesn’t spend a lot of time around humans so he’s not used to the concept of mortality of others or himself.

this new fixation drives derek back to kate’s as he's overcome with worry for her. he's become a ball of confused hormones but when he arrives he overhears her talking to someone. it's clearly another hunter but only the audience knows that and derek's uncurious ass accepts it's not his business as he regains himself and turns to go but he bumps into a trash can making noise. this of course brings kate out. she's wearing a satin robe 🤮 and she puts on her concerned face and offers to let him shower and says she has an extra tooth brush. god, i hate her.

this chapter ends with the words: “and ms. argent shut the night out, and brought him into her den.” rage. what i feel is rage.

the next chapter comes back to the present day with lydia being rescued by danny and damon. the pair had gotten danny’s lacrosse gear and broke a window. lydia took her chance and ran out. 

man, that was actually an awesome utilization of danny. smart, clever and quick. wish we could’ve seen something like this in the show. jeff.

it cuts back to jackson who is listening to cassie try to bargain with bailey to leave jackson alive. bailey doesn’t want to leave any loose ends. like, my guy. the plan has fallen apart and you want to catch a murder charge too?

jackson just can’t catch a break this entire time. cassie and jackson attempt at an escape from the van when bailey is distracted. it ends as you’d expect. cassie gets shot because bailey is a fucking idiot, the van crashes. it’s a mess. glass everywhere, the smell of smoke and gas. jackson’s still handcuffed and cassie is in terrible shape. 

in the midst of this lydia has called 911 and is speaking to a dispatcher who's trying to help them. it's helpful but not helpful enough.

in the middle of THIS chaos holder sends us six years into the past again ---  well. i think we can guess what’s coming, can’t we? 

while I appreciate the world building that holder does as she tries to at least give some ritual and culture to the werewolves that’s specific to them. i cannot help but laugh at how she makes it french in connection when really the argents get the emphasis on their french origins. hell, even a quick google search gives up some results on the origin of the surname hale. i find the connection to st edmund interesting (he is the patron saint of torture victims, wolves and protection from the plague. jeff davis i see you.)

peter has a motorcycle that he lets derek borrow???? this feels incorrect. i cannot imagine peter sharing his toys.

i loathe laura’s characterization and it's such a shame this is really the only character she gets that is connected even tenuously to canon. laura is depicted as being aware of derek’s involvement with kate. she's a bit hesitant but not disapproving or overly concerned. she's kept it a secret. derek and laura have a discussion about the possibility of kate receiving the bite and laura even says, “maybe she’s doing a cougar on you.” like, this is just deeply fucked and bothers me so damn much. not only did canonically laura never knew about kate and derek's relationship but i hate how she's just acting like this is something normal.

derek mentions he gave kate a ring as a token of affection that he bought with money peter gave him in exchange for doing a few errands.

derek goes on to describe going home with kate and he’s so, so blinded by his affection for her that i just feel sick reading this.

the important part of this scene is derek whispers that he loves her while she’s asleep and goes to leave after showing but he forgot his backpack. he goes back and creeps back inside her bedroom. like he’s fucking edward cullen or some shit.

SHE IS A RAPIST AND THIS ALL MAKES ME UPSET.

though i have questions about what the fuck this means “he wanted to make love to her as a werewolf.” what in the furry hell?

[twothpaste]

Paula for the ask game, if you'd like!

First impression:

wow they sure made the girl character a pink little damsel (despite her badass powers) and called it a day huh. ok

Impression now:

wow i can take the girl character and develop whatever i want about her and -- oh shit - oops - haha whoops - now she's my favorite

Favorite moment: Every time she uses PK Freeze. But really, I'm very sentimental about the brief period between Twoson and Threed where it's just Ness and Paula traveling together. Paula makes a friend she can be herself with. Ness makes a friend after braving the big scary world all by himself. They're probably a little awkward and uncertain of each other at first, but they quickly come to admire each others' strengths!! Combat feels so fresh and exciting once you finally have a party member! They both have to learn to work together with a fellow PSI user, and it's really sweet.

Idea for a story: I don't really have more Paula stories on the brain rn. Whatever I do next with Intermission AU though, I wanna develop her friendship with Claus some more… They're both book-smart and snarky, he's one of very few people who can keep up with her wit. She only knows the half of what he's been through, but she looks out for him on the downlow. Especially in light of his bad experiences with Porky (Paula helped Ness through his fallout with Porky too, she's kind of in a unique position to provide some levelheaded advice & support). And they've both got unresolved anger with their family members. Their playfully pretentious nerd banter might easily give way to some heartfelt & heavy discussions. I feel like one of these days I could cook up somethin interesting. Intermission Senior Year arc where Paula finally stands up to her megalomaniac mom, while Claus cheers from the sidewalk like "yeah paula, you tell her!! yolo, dude! i got your back!"

Unpopular opinion: A lot of fan content I see & read will either sideline her or just, not flesh her out very much beyond Yeah She Sure Is The Girl. :( Itoi left the EarthBound party members relatively underdeveloped on purpose, hoping players would fill in the blanks to their hearts' content. Paula can be anything or anyone, and can have really interesting dynamics with her other party members! I just think her potential is often underutilized.

Favorite relationship: She's Ness' best friend!! A smart pretty popular girl befriends a little fat boy with average grades n' no connections beyond his hometown! And against all expectations, it turns out they get along brilliantly! He helps her loosen up & let go of her perfectionism, she helps him overcome his insecurities & become a more confident person! Ness really really needed someone to trust as his friendship with Porky crumbled, and Paula was right there the whole time. I think they have lots of silly goofy fun together - they'll dance and do karaoke and take joke photos at national monuments. I have a funny little headcanon that they tried dating in high school, quickly realized they like just being friends much better, and went on as if nothing happened. And another, that they teach each other their PSI techniques. Healing doesn't come naturally to Paula, and offense doesn't come naturally to Ness, but they're patient and perseverant and they figure it out over time.

Favorite headcanon: My girl Paula is academia pilled to comedic degrees. She's obsessed with Virginia Woolf. She feels a spiritual kinship with The Queen's Gambit. She daydreams about being a college professor. When she watches movies she calls them "films," and you'd better believe she's taking notes.

[maplemaplemaplemaplemaple]

yeaghhhh the sasha nein topster in no particular order !! at least what i think he'd listen to. infodump maple ramblings of his music listening headcanons under cut::

i think he'd probably have fairly eclectic tastes. i infer from the weird alien electronic/brass sounds of sashas immaculate mind that he'd like more experimental stuff . n obviously he's gonna adore kraftwerk!! every time he gets to do the music during his carpool with milla he's putting on the entirety of autobahn. the 20 minute one. but then he's shown to have a fondness classical stuff too given the censors unleashed just being an interpolation of eine kleine nachtmusik + the music his mother listened to being classical so he probably listens to a wide range !! he's on his own whenever he's working in the lab so he probably has a bit of background noise on. i also like to infer a wee bit of new wave from him given the eyeliner and him just generally reminding me a lot of gary numan

he's a lame semi-pretentious music nerd sort of. if he likes/dislikes a certain song you WILL be hearing a thorough explanation as to why, to the point where his infodumps can last long enough to where the song's already ended. he tends to save the more long-winded speeches for the stuff he likes though. better use of time focussing on what he likes. also hyperfixation.

him and milla have a surprising amount of overlap in their music tastes !! the most prominent ofc being talking heads. they've definitely had a silly cute little date where they watch stop making sense together,,, if he's not got milla to keep him in check, sasha probably solo dances like david byrne anyway. the weird, precise movements remind me of him. but anyway anyway their musical affections find a little overlap in new wave/synthpop stuff !! and they both enjoy björk and broadcast, albeit different albums. (mildly off topic but tmtltt by björk reminds me of milla's dance party music somehow). and milla's love of disco has rubbed off a little on sasha - he'll catch himself quietly humming abba as he gets dressed. it's not particularly his cup of tea, but the association it carries and the thought of how happy milla looks when she's dancing makes it all the more important to him . accidental sashamilla sidetangent they make me so sick anyway .

a lot of the stuff he listens to is wordless genres in order to help him focus better while he works. and just because sometimes it's too overwhelming to listen to anything that's not ambient. i like to think he has a little cassette player that he takes to work sometimes on the slow days where he's writing up scientific papers or having to do more boring, menial tasks. like the sony walkmans with the fun orange headphones;;; they match his glasses :]

also the dialogue where he's singing/humming after getting hit enough times under the stamp is so so real to me. obviously he was very light-headed there but i like to think he'll very quietly sing along to a song he's listening to if he's alone ... hes so sweet i hope he dies

grahhghh accidentally wrote more than i meant to oops. very rambley i just like writing about more mundane aspects of characters because it;s still so interesting to me... helloooo hello im maple

[sytokun]

Introducing my super cool RWBY rewrite that is definitely better than literally anything

Hey guys, this is my RWBY fanfiction universe. All ideas are mine, I just think... I dunno, RWBY kinda sucks so I'm making my own, better version. I'll call it... RWBY: Rescued or some other vaguely pretentious title, idk. Hey, John and Jane RWBYson! Thanks for subscribing to my project! Or anonymously stalking it? It's hard to tell sometimes.

Now I know I already introduced Team RWBY, and everyone loves them, I'm happy! I'm just gonna add a little dude here, no it's fine! He's like a side character, nothing more. Like an ally, Ruby's first friend, he leads the other team, it'll be really cool I promise. His name is Jaune btw, no, NO big deal. Just trust me on this. I'm the superior writer, remember?

...

Um... sorry guys. Over the weekend I just got a really big spark of inspiration, like... the Muses struck me from the heavens above. So I'm sorry, but... I'm going to make a quarter of the first Volume entirely focused on Jaune, the Volume that is crucially formative to the cast and entire series, which will cause a ripple effect so bad that a consistently large number of fans dislike him in my series 10 years later, but also find it hard to imagine the story without him at this point, like a lukewarm relationship you don't know how to feel about.

But it's fine! The show is still called RWBY and I plan to deliver on that, not like those hacks at Rooster Teeth stepping on Monty's vision. That's the rhetoric I'm supposed to use, right? To make you hate me? To make me into an easy strawman to hate and dismiss? GOT IT, just making sure, lol

I'm going to voice act as him too, btw. No big deal, I'm sure this won't affect my treatment of him whatsoever. Oh, but here's Neptune. He's voiced by the other dude writing this, and we're gonna write a love triangle between the characters we voice and Weiss, one of the main leads. That counts as a character arc for her, right? Right, glad you understand. Oh, Neptune? You actually liked him and wanted him around? What are you, fucking sexist? God. Make sure to tell your friends how cool my story is

Next, I'm going to have Pyrrha's entire screentime devoted around Jaune, and even after she dies, only Jaune is allowed to process his emotions regarding her death while Ren, an Asian dude, and Nora, another girl, prop him up. I'm also going to bring her death up every two years like 2-3 times to really milk that man pain. What does Ruby the main character feel about this? Oh don't worry, she'll talk about it with another character I'll add in. I'll even have her say Keep Moving Forward™ to really sell the audience's Ruby's pain and really stoke and stir your anguish. Her anguish. Moving on.

Eh, something feels off, there's not enough conflict... Let's have Cinder run Weiss through with a spear, for funsies ig, because I have this post-it note on my monitor saying Jaune's Semblance and this is the perfect moment. I'm also gonna give Jaune this whole ass emotional outburst, 1-on-1 fight and confrontation with Cinder since she killed Pyrrha and awakened all his angst.

Ruby? Uh... yeah, she can stand there I guess. I need to remind the goddamn audience that YES, I still remember silver eyes exist, gawd. I have to do it every few Volumes or I can sometimes forget the protagonist in my female-led story exists - man what a pain, I bet I'm gonna be pressured into creating an old lady to teach her or some shit in the Volume right after this one. Whatever, I'll have her disappear in 2 years, they'll never know she left. Anyway OOPS Emerald knocked Ruby out, thank god she's out of the way so I can squeeze in a shot of Cinder stepping on Jaune and really rub that pain in. God, Jaune really needed this, so glad I did that

Fuck it, Jaune kills Penny too. I dunno, it just feels right, y'know? Nah... I don't think Ruby or anyone is the right person for this, and I don't think we've really, one hundred percent explored just how deeply Jaune can angst over dead women; women who could have grown into full, complex people with rich arcs and relationships using all the screentime I parasitically extracted from them via sudden, unwarranted death. Penny, like, she really needs to fuckin' die for this. Her death is worth having to retread this same tired fucking emotional arc if it's for my boy, know what I'm sayin'? Good, glad you understand

Alright, it's the Volume finale. Team RWBY and Neo are falling into the next story arc. Great, people really wanted this - an entire Volume just focused on the title characters together. The fans have been on my ass asking for this since Volume fucking Four. It's alright, I GOT THIS. I FUCKING GOT THIS! It's simple! This is perfect. But... I mean, I shouldn't... but I really... SDGDSGDED FUCK IT, fuck you, Jaune falls in with them too

John and Jane RWBYson: "God, this is why I hate rewriters who think they can write a good story with RWBY. They love making white men the focus of their self insert fantasies while shoving female characters into the fridge and off to the side, all while using Monty's name to rile people into brainlessly supporting it. I hope they fucking disappear"

Wait. John. Jane. Did I say my RWBY fanfiction universe?

Oh. Oh god.

[colethewolf]

Thank you for that spot-on Jackson character analysis. I haven't watched the movie so I don't know what he was like in it and I don't care, but I'm so sick of 10 years of meta and fic that pretend Jackson has ever been a good guy in canon. I swear it's like everyone in this fandom loves him and they paint him as this poor, misunderstood, broken boy that cares for others behind the mask of indifference and would have made a great pack mate if he'd stayed on in the show, and they present all this as canon. Meanwhile, canon Jackson needed to be pushed to help with mauled Lydia and driving to the Hale house at the end of S1, and he acquiesced that easily because he was scared/in shock, and we barely saw a hint of love for anybody when he hugged Lydia after she saved him at the end of S2. Even with his supposed BFF Danny, it always felt like Danny was his accessory. I'm not trying to deny him or invalidate his traumas from losing his parents and all that entailed, and then being mind-controlled by someone, especially when it was to hurt and kill people. But acting like that excuses his behavior toward literally everyone because they showed him once crying and throwing a lacrosse ball at a tree while there's a voice-over of his teacher telling his parents that he seems to trying too much to please someone we're supposed to think is his dead parents (it's been 10 years, memory's fuzzy)? Guy has never been anything but a pretentious, ill-mannered, entitled, egotistical bully. And that's the only canon we got in the show.

I'm sorry for the rant, but also a hypocrite because I'm not sorry enough not to send it, but I swear you're the first person I've seen all these years who's said anything bad about Jackson. And I get that it's probably some parts bad luck but some parts have to be way too many people somehow actually having watched/remembering a different canon than me. I understand making up stuff to make canon better, but all the people I've seen act like this Jackson with a heart of gold deep inside that they've made up is actually just Jackson from the show.

Believe it or not, I've been here (i.e. your blog) for years for Sterek, but this was a nice little surprised (that I took too far, oops).

♥️

Lol, Jackson has some serious issues that causes him to act the way he does. But again, it doesn't excuse him. Plus, I like the fact that he was such a dick to everybody. It was really entertaining and I'm here for that version of Jackson Whittemore. That's the Jackson that was missing from the movie.

This movie needed a Jackson that would've told everybody to fuck off and stop trying him to go fight some evil trickster spirit boogeyman that he has nothing to do with. It needed the Jackson that would've mocked Stiles for "being dumb enough" to get possessed. It needed the Jackson that would've kept to the sidelines until he saw Scott putting in some work, and then he would've immediately jumped in to look like the better man. Probably going as far as to taunt the nogitsune.

That's what we needed and that's just not what we got. Again, Colton was definitely one of the bright moments in the movie. But Jeff completely did away with anything Jackson related and just let Colton be himself. And it just makes no sense.

[outpost51]

Happy WBW!

Tell me one of the details of your world building that makes you the most excited! What do you want to talk about the most?

Happy WBW!!!!

Well, I’ve talked about the vampire council — how about where the vampires came from?

When a mommy bat loves a daddy bat very much—

Just kidding, follow me!!

SO!! Vampires were Oopsied into existence by angels — “But Kobbl I thought angels were Life’s children!!” You are correct! But pobody’s nerfect in this world, not even the goddesses, they all live and love and fuck up and sometimes they do a bit of all three.

If you recall I’m being so pretentious asdfasds, there are four “levels” of fallen: parvia, mediocri, indigni, and nefasi. And as I’ve said before, only three angels have ever become nefasi, and only one has survived getting booted off the Edge (hard to fly when they’ve ripped off your wings): Phada, one of the vigilisi. She was patrolling the Veil when she came across what she thought was a half dead human woman being dragged through the Veil by imps — angels aren’t supposed to interfere with living humans, humans get burned or sick or worse, but it was Phada’s job to prevent Abominations from crossing the Veil, and a human dying on Their Side was a surefire way of making one, so they could… forgive this interference, right? Her mother is curatori, so she’s bound to have some of that healing in her, just enough to get the girl back on her feet so she can run.

Fun fucking fact. You know how when indigni (violent offenses, third “worst” fallen, subjective) are cast out, their wings are shredded and they’re left for dead at the border? They look pretty damn human when laying on their backs.

Fun fact numero second. Ever wonder what happens when a fallen drinks from an angel? BAD SHIT. BAD SHIT HAPPENS, PHADA.

Isri (the indigni in question) got her wings back! Oops!! And then went on a rampage! Double oops!! And then Miss Bleeding Heart, in an effort to fix her fuckup, went after her! Triple oops!! She’s not supposed to leave her fucking patrol!! She’s supposed to call the praesti!! So Isri has herself a fucking FEAST in a nearby village, and Phada — y’all know Phada, our “hero” — manages to behead her with a shovel stop her just in time to leave one (1) person mostly alive.

Fun fact letter 3. Remember how angels aren’t supposed to interfere with living humans? How they get burned or sick or worse? Yeah, this falls under “or worse”. So the girl — Josseline, if you’re wondering — “survives” her injuries thanks to Captain My-Mom-Is-Curatori and gets elevated to not-quite divinity, hovering somewhere between angels and Something Else.

Of course, being a good little cloudbaby, Phada went home and fessed up, hoping that admitting what had happened would—

Yeah, she got about halfway through “so the body was an indigni” when the Seven (imperatori, they’re the angel judges) were like:

… and dragged her kicking and screaming to the Edge. Her wings hang above the central seat in the hall of justice as an example — Altael (imperatori primus, that’s his chair her wings hang above) loves telling that story.

Phada survived her fall and vanished into the Wilds (the place where even Outlands residents refuse to go).

Josseline found herself a town to rule over, Tagnan, and unintentionally Turned the governor’s wife, Sophie; Josseline didn’t quite drain her all the way, because Sophie fought back and got Josseline’s blood in her mouth.

Friends, Romans, countrymen— that is our first bloodline. Sang-d’origine.

“But what about the other twelve bloodlines!!” Haaaaa about that.

See, angels are busy making New Shiny Souls and keeping the Holy Holding Tank and patrolling the Veil, someone has to deal with the Icky Nasty Corrupted Souls that get stuck on the humans’ side. Enter Death’s cleanup crew: demons. They eat the Icky Nasties. But angels got to make a new Thing!! What if we made a new thing also!! Well one of ‘em figured out the Vampire Formula and made the Phystrokhi — our first daywalkers. (Lightsiders, they call themselves).

The Fae are just greedy little shits. Some Unseelie asshole worked out the Vampire Formula and made the first Darksiders: the Shadow Watch. And if the Unseelie get something, the Seelie are petulant until they Also get that Thing. Enter the Midnight Descendants.

And shit spiraled from there!! There was a fucking vampire-werewolf war!! There are dhampires now!! This is why we can’t have anything nice!! PHADA.

[its-a-journal-of-ideals]

Grips you. Tell everyone about your fukumori kids right now or I’m gonna blow this whole building up /lhj

ACK-/lh

(ask sent in response to this post <3)

there are three that have names and personalities and three in the works for a different verse. i shall talk about the first three because i have things to say about them!

Yoshiro and Kai were I believe my first ever fankids or at least the first ones I wrote down anywhere, and they are twins! they were born about three years before Mori took control of the Port Mafia and grew up in the PM. they were oopses that Mori (trans man) didnt discover till after he and Fukuzawa split up for their parts of the tripartite thing. They now (age 35) are a commander of the Black Lizard (Kai) and some kind of intelligence/spy/extortion thing?? (Yoshiro) (in total honesty he doesn't know what his job title is either he just flips his hip length hair and looks pretty (and on fun occasions pulls out a knife and makes threats) and stupid men hand over money and information. Kai is the older twin, and aside from his hair being black, strongly resembles Fukuzawa both physically and in mannerisms. Yoshiro is a bit more of a wild card, having white hair and a much cooler purple (as in bluer. tho he is pretty awesome) eye color than Mori, and being much more upfront and obvious about his self-confidence. go ahead get the yin/yang jokes out now i'll wait/lh

Yoshiro is the only brother with an ability, and I did not base him off a real author so I had to make this up myself. I called it No More Blank Pages which sounded suitably fancy to go along with one father's Vita Sexualis (Latin. Pretentious fuck/lh) and the other's All Men Are Equal (grand sweeping statement. love that for him) and every time he looks at a person he learns something about them that they already knew about themselves. The more stressed he is, the more relevant that fact is to his current situation (for example if he were mugged, he could look at his assailant and know that they have a knife in their left boot, but if he saw that same person in a much different situation, all he might get would be, like, "needs to pick up carrots later"). crowded social situations tend to leave him reeling from information overload because he can't turn it off!

the third child is Katsumi! she's eleven years younger than the boys and also an oops. She happened because her dads got a little too excited about seeing each other again after twelve years. I don't think she got involved with the Mafia or ADA but if she did she'd be with the Agency despite being Mori's mini-me and also his little princess when she was small. (honestly she's still his little princess but he no longer brings her to work and lets her baby-babble as if the nonsense noises she's spouting are more important than Actual Mafia Business) Kai held her for the first time when she was an infant and immediately swore his everlasting fealty to her and will defend her even if she is clearly the one who ate the last of whatever it was. she has no ability that has revealed itself yet, but she's still prepared for one to show up. After all, her papa Fukuzawa didn't discover his till he was in his thirties.

they're good kids i love them

[galacticlamps]

dr who asks!! 2, 12, 16, 18? o:

2. what’s your favorite moment with your least-favorite doctor?

My least favorite Doctor is 4, so that’s frankly a lot of material to comb through looking for the brightspots, forgive me if I’m forgetting something that should be obvious

(The honest answer would be saying it’s something from the audios Deleted Scenes or Fate of Krelos/Return to Telos, but I’m resisting that urge because it feels like cheating, since the things I don't like about 4 are all on TV. In the EU I’ve only interacted with things of his that feature characters I do enjoy, so for all I know the majority of his audios might address those issues, and it’s only TV 4 specifically that I’ve got anything against)

I like a lot of his back-and-forth with Romana I, especially in The Ribos Operation, though I think it’s largely due to Romana more than him. Her presence - and her introduction in particular - give him someone to bounce off who it’s harder to effectively be superior towards, so his general attitude feels less bullying with her than it can be with some other companions, right from the start - but also, since he’s got every right to be a bit offended that he’s suddenly been handed an assistant by higher powers, his resistance towards her is not only justified but more compelling to watch than when he’s being down on someone like Harry or Leela, which in my opinion is the kind of Doctor-Companion tension that detracts and distracts from a story, and gets old pretty quickly. His later interactions with Adric could also be considered a favorite of mine - especially when they’re more or less traveling alone together in Keeper of Traken and Logopolis - because they similarly bring out a new side to the character that I appreciated, again putting him in a position he doesn’t quite know how to deal with - so I feel like we see a little more genuine-ness from him than usual, even if it’s just that he’s genuinely perplexed/at the end of his rope with this teenager.

12. what’s a headcanon that’s you forget isn’t actually canon?

I did answer this! (but I couldn't manage it without name-dropping you twice oops) Polly’s racer ex-gf seems to have sunk especially deep into my brain and is just there now, can’t get it out.

16. is there a character you feel is generally misunderstood by the fandom?

I hear the words ‘character fandom doesnt get’ and Rose Tyler will forever be the face that comes to mind. But I feel like that’s still a somewhat spicy topic, and while the things I have to say about her are definitely not hate & honestly not even negativity towards her as much as a rejection of the more popular interpretations of her character, it still feels safer not to get into it lol. “Let people enjoy things” & all that

I think One is hugely flattened out by the fandom, to the point that when I first started Classic, I was convinced I wouldn’t like Two at all because of how surprised I was by how much I liked One. Yes he’s older and stuffier than his immediate successor, and yes William Hartnell was playing a character inherently different from what the brief is these days, but even people who talk about One in a positive light can frequently skip over many of his complexities & the different sides he absolutely does show us over his time in the role, to focus on his significance as The First & the character who established the show. Like he only gets partial-credit as an incarnation.

Six too - people often say his audios redeemed his character, but from what I’ve heard of them so far, his character hasn’t really changed at all, even though the caliber of plots he’s handed does improve (though I also don’t think his TV plots are that bad, I can’t pretend the audios haven’t been on the whole more polished). I understand why Six is so often painted as one of the meaner Doctors, but in a way it couldn’t be further from the truth - he’s abrasive for sure, but he’s SO liable to be sarcastic, pretentious, and downright scathing that the show embraces that, and even his messier TV-plots tie it in so that any serials that feature him being particularly morally questionable in one place also make a point of proving him to be ultimately good-hearted later on, in a way that doesn’t get prioritized with other Doctors who are less overtly biting. When 6 says something mean and then does something that really shows how much he cares, he comes off as both a kinder and more complex character than 4 continually walking through the universe talking down to people, but doing it with enough ‘charm’ that it doesn’t jump out to the writers as requiring addressing or justification. With 6 it feels like a trait that’s actively utilized in his episodes.

And this one does stretch my definition of ‘fandom’ a bit but there’s hardly a classic companion, but especially the 60s and especially the women, who I wouldn’t argue falls into this category. It hardly even feels worth mentioning in this context, because in my experience it’s not a problem among fans of that era & therefore the bulk of people who tend to be discussing Barbara, Susan, Vicki, Sara, Katarina, Dodo, Polly, Victoria, or Zoe... but then again, it’s 2022, so I suppose if you know any of them well enough to even mention at all, you are a fan instead of a casual viewer, and I’ve certainly seen reductive takes that must then technically count as ‘fandom misunderstanding a character.’ And I get how that would happen - the 60s is the beginning of the show, and format-wise, the most distinct from what comes after it (black&white, missing episodes, really diverse serial lengths all spliced up into 20-minute mini-plots) - and as such, it’s likely to’ve been watched by fans of later eras who are curious to make a comparison, but not necessarily likely to appeal to them itself, so you’d get a fair number of people who are more “fans of Doctor Who who’ve watched the era” without being “fans of the era.” But let’s not reduce our assessment of female characters to whether or not they scream a lot and then pretend that’s a feminist perspective, shall we? Just say you didn’t pay enough attention to her episodes to actually speak on behalf of her character and move on, jeeze. Don’t pretend that’s all there is to her just because you went looking for some poor un-emancipated female character from the past to cite as a talking point in your pre-written & deeply unoriginal argument about how far television/Doctor Who has come over the years

(This answer is already way too long to get into another rant, but I think that last one has a lot in common with EU writers who have to invent a new Jamie for their book because they’re writing for 2, so Jamie’s gotta be there, but they clearly missed or never really enjoyed how he was actually characterized onscreen.)

18. what other piece of media would you recommend to fans of doctor who?

ugh that's so hard because I think it depends so much on what you think of as the defining/alluring feature of Doctor Who, and there are so many it must change person-to-person. Plus, a large part of it being my favorite show is that I don’t think there are many other things like it at all. But I’ll try:

Obvious answer, but Star Trek TOS for highly-episodic, stand-alone stories through space/time. TOS’s years perfectly overlap with the Second Doctor’s run, and that alone makes for a v interesting comparison, both in content & production values/approaches (someone write a book on this so I don’t have to)

Hitchhikers Guide & Dirk Gently - also obvious, but despite the 4th Doctor’s run being a low-point for me personally, I do think the combination of tone & literal randomness in Douglas Adams’ stuff is very DW-ish in general. The 2016 Dirk Gently series especially is quite different from the books, but absolutely weird enough (while still being interesting & plenty follow-able) to appeal to an audience that’s into NuWho/I might even say Torchwood tbh. Honestly even Adams’ nonfiction Last Chance to See (a book recounting his travels to witness endangered animals all over the globe) might also appeal to Dr Who fans, again for its unique voice/tone, but also its approach to humanity’s history w/our environment & what we both hope & fear for the planet’s future. It’s more memoir than science, so it’s very Important Science Topic Through The Lens of a Lay Person, which I feel is itself the approach Doctor Who takes in exposing companions/its audience to the crisis of the week & its real-world relevancy

I know there have been short stories by Jorge Luis Borges, Nikolai Gogol, and Ray Bradbury that have the vibe of Doctor Who stories, but obviously that varies from story to story & I’m unhelpfully blanking on many of the specific ones. Bradbury’s Martian Chronicles in particular feels like a very relevant choice though - it’s basically a series of independent short stories that all take place over the course of several decades chronicling humanity’s attempts to colonize Mars. It definitely has that Doctor Who-ish mix of the scifi and the mundane and I think you could see anyone from like, Barbara & Ian to Amy & Rory inhabiting the same world these events are taking place in - it’s got that very slight touch of fantasy about it in some ways, and also reminds me a bit of the prose Short Trips. (oh and I just remembered Big Finish adapted some of them for audio with Derek Jacobi & Hayley Atwell!)

I haven’t read enough of H G Wells (including the literal Time Machine, I know, I know) but War of the Worlds might appeal to DW fans - I was surprised by how much the book focused on the impact an alien invasion had on everyday life, but really, that’s the whole point of it! So perspective/vibes-wise, I consider it Doctor-Who-like in that it’s scifi that’s not hugely about the complex lore or world of the aliens, but a couple of human people who are frankly shocked by suddenly having to handle life-threatening aliens in England. Donna in Turn Left could’ve been living in this book, if that makes sense.

The Road to Mars is a novel actually written by one of the Pythons (Eric Idle) and I don’t think it’s all that popular, since sketch comedy guys aren’t typically who you go to for scifi novels - but in that vein it’s sort of on its own, definitely not reliant upon a ton of high-concept/heavy scifi lore, it’s funny, and presents a universe that sounds compatible with some versions of the future that exist in Doctor Who. It’s about a comedy duo & their android who are just trying to make the rounds across the solar system as low-end performers & accidentally get caught up in a Big Scifi/Political Plot, so I’d say it has Doctor-Who-level antics & the wrong-place-wrong-time premise that has prompted many a serial

If 60s British television (at Limegrove Studios specifically!) and/or Peter Capaldi are enough to hold your interest in something that bears little resemblance to Doctor Who itself, I’ve been singing the praises of BBC’s The Hour for about a decade now, but it’s not at all scifi so that’s probably a weirder recommendation.

I’d also throw in The Umbrella Academy - I enjoy the comics but like Dirk Gently, the TV show probably has more in common with Dr Who - for time travel as a major plot element, characters forced to work/grow together in one of the weirder definitions of found family, and a world that’s allowed to be strange & interesting and sometimes unexplained (ie no dense lore behind its scifi parts, while still having plenty to think through w/paradoxes & foreshadowing to figure out & keep you engaged)

I’m not terribly far into it myself, but the Discworld series for that same anything-could-happen, sometimes it’s very stand-alone, sometimes it’s characters you’ll get very invested in, funny but poignant fantasy/scifi universe that doesn’t take itself too seriously but can make some Extremely Good Points through genre fiction

at this point it feels both redundant and necessary to say Gaiman

[kavrillia]

Asexuality and gender roles in Lanarian society

(I’m giving this post a pretentious title because it started out as a short, joking post but evolved into long meta as I rambled.)

Me:  I originally wrote this character as asexual before I even knew what that was (or that it described me, too).  Now, many years later, I’m going to make that a significant plot point because good asexual representation is rare and I have some first-hand perspective to add.

Also me:  *writes most of the scenes addressing the character’s orientation from the POV of their allosexual partner*

Oops.

I think the overall messages still come through okay, but I should probably add more from the ace’s perspective.

Those messages being, in part, that aces are not obligated to have sex if they don’t want to and a good partner will respect that; that a healthy relationship is possible without sex; that some aces will have sex because they enjoy making their partners feel good, even if they could take it or leave it on its own; that being ace can lead to some hilarious misunderstandings and misinterpretations; and it takes a lot, lot more than sex to make a relationship work.

It only complicates matters that Zadie and Abarok have a sort of gender role reversal going on in a lot of ways (at least from a human perspective; Lanarian society has very little sexism, so nobody in-universe thinks this is unusual at all.)  She’s the bullheaded soldier who charges off into danger to rescue him, and he’s the more sensitive, nurturing one.

It isn’t expressed as clearly in the novel(s) as this (at least at the moment), but basically Lanarians’ feelings on gender are as follows:  “Most people with these genitals tend to be [adjective], but some are [mutually exclusive adjective] and that’s kind of interesting, like learning someone is left-handed or double-jointed, but there’s no value judgement attached.”

Their language has male, female, and gender neutral name markers (similar to the Norse ____sson and _____sdottir, only there’s also a ____soffspring, or in this case Gea’____ani, Jhea’____ani, and Ea’_____ani.)  I’ve never sat down and thought about Lanarish pronouns, but if I did I’d make sure they were naturally inclusive.

Lanarians treat orientation similarly.  Sexuality is a spectrum that can change with time, so nothing is off the table, but it’s also not a big deal.  If you’re dead set on having biological children it can be an issue.  Otherwise, it’s just a personal preference like ice cream cone vs. bowl, regular chips vs. ripple chips, or anything else.  (Disclaimer because this is the internet:  I’m talking about consenting relations between adults.)

Oh, you can’t whistle?  You have a rare blood type?  You started using gender neutral pronouns since I last saw you?  You got a new car?  Your new partner is a different gender than all your previous ones?  You’re allergic to pineapples?  It should all be mildly interesting trivia and small talk, not a reason to hate or discriminate.  Worry about the things that actually harm other people.

Basically, be your authentic self and do what makes you happy with whomever wants to join you (or don’t do anything with anyone, if that’s what you want.)

/soapbox

Am I projecting my own feelings about gender and sexual orientation onto an entire culture I made up?  Maaaaaaaaaybe...

I should also state that I’ve never shoehorned in a character’s LGBTQIA+ status solely for representation and political correctness, or whatever.  As I’ve matured and learned about myself and the world around me over the past couple decades, my original universe has grown along with me.  If it feels right for a particular character to be queer in some way, then they are.

I’m not one of those writers who believes they’re connecting to beings on a different astral plane and channeling their voices, but I do feel that characters take on a personality and a true “voice” of their own over time that can guide the story in directions I didn’t originally intend.   

Getting back to Zadie and Abarok, I was determined to keep them platonic at the beginning (because platonic male/female friendships are so rare in fiction), but as I got to know them the connection between them got deeper and deeper.  I couldn’t picture them in a cliché romance story, though.  A few years later I leaned the asexuality existed, and things in my life and writing started to make sense.  A plot point is Zadie’s struggle to define what she and Abarok have going on, but in the end the labels don’t matter because it works for them.  

Anyway, if there was a point to this ramble it’s that I try to treat issues of gender and sexuality in a respectful, inclusive way in my writing, but the story and the characters come first.

[teddybear-sunflower]

When you tell him you used to have a crush on him (pt.Two) (Oikawa ver.)

Pairing: Oikawa x reader 

Wordcount: about 4300 words (Didnt I say this won´t be as long? oops)

Genre: fluff

A/N: I haven´t proof-read this yet, so please excuse my mistakes. Also, I don´t know if I am happy with this or not. I thought the idea is cute but i am not sure if I am happy with the way I´ve done it. Anyway, it´s 6 AM, I have an important presentation today and isnetad of sleeping I´ve wrote this. I need to overthink my priorities.

Ever since that call in which you confessed that you had feelings for him, there was a strange tension between you that neither of you knew what to do about

You still texted, still called – the amount of time you spent with one another didn’t change but it felt like the “what if” was on your minds constantly, even if you didn’t know that was the case for the other

You were still slightly bothered about his comment about him not breaking your heart while he was actively imagining what the future would have looked like if one of you confessed

Would you be with him right now? Would you have left Japan with him? Or would he have stayed? Technically, there were plenty of opportunities in Japan for him. Maybe it would be the same as now but would the two of you be in a long distance relationship? The thought didn’t bother him as much if it was with you.

Ultimately neither of you knew what to do about it

Maybe it was time to move on

You took a shaky breath as you took one last look into the mirror. He should be here any second to pick you up, so there wasn’t much you could do about your outfit anyway.

By he you meant your date. Yes, you had a date and no he wasn’t your longtime crush. Besides the fact that Oikawa wasn’t even on the same continent as you which made it physical impossible to go on a date, there was also the problem that he didn’t seem to like you back.

After a lot of thinking, you got to the conclusion that Oikawa didn’t mean anything by it when he said he wouldn’t have broken your heart. He probably was just reassuring you that he would have been gentle with rejecting you and still would have been friends with you afterwards.

If he meant anything else by it, he would have said so. You knew him well enough to know that he was rather cunning and that his words didn’t always reflect his true thoughts. He wasn’t just a silly idiot who loved volleyball a little too much. No, he was rather smart and knew how to charm people.

But this was different. There was no reason for him to be pretentious, no reason to talk in riddles. He could have just said “too bad, I liked you too”.

He wasn’t exactly shy in that way, so why would he start now?

It was almost funny how the day after you came to that conclusion, a boy from your class asked you out. You had talked to him a few times due to sitting next to each other or even having projects together.

He was kind and polite, truly a good guy. He also was easy on the eyes and had the sweetest smile. Still, you always thought of him as a fellow student since you never really became too personal with one another.

So, it came as a surprise when he suddenly asked you on a date to the movies. You hesitated but eventually decided that this might be a sign.

Your phone that rested in your hand vibrated and your gaze immediately shifted to the bright screen.

It was a text message. A reply from Oikawa.

You didn’t tell him about the date since you knew he was too busy anyway to help you, so instead you had freaked out about it to a girl friend of yours who matched your excitement and provided great advice.

You still couldn’t stop yourself from sending him a mirror picture when you were ready for your date.

It was just the picture and a “Do I look cute?” with a winking emoji. You weren’t embarrassed about it since such texted were normal between you too. You always made sure that the other knew that they were attractive, not that Oikawa needed any more reassurance.

Oikawa: super cute ;) why are you dressed up though? Having a girl’s night?

You still blushed whenever he complimented you, which he knew and used to make fun of.

Cutie: No, I actually have a date. It´s the first one and I want to make sure I look my best :)

Oikawa: What? A date? And you only tell me only now? I thought we tell each other everything. I am not sure where I stand with you :<<

You chuckled as you read his overdramatic reply.

Other than you, Oikawa wasn’t laughing; he wasn’t even smiling. A deep frown was present on his face as he looked down at the device on which your recent picture was still shown.

You definitely looked cute and to be honest, his heart skipped a beat when he saw the picture you´ve sent him.

Now that he knew that you looked this good for another guy, he couldn’t really appreciate it anymore.

He knew this day would come, of course it would. You were beautiful and in your own unique way absolutely charming. He was pretty sure the only reason why you weren’t snatched up in high school was because at one point you were pretty much known as the girl of the Aoba Joshai volleyball club and most guys were intimidated by the players that seemed to be always around you.

It wasn’t like that was exactly their intention, but it just happened naturally that you would spend pretty much every moment in school with them. It wasn’t easy to ask someone out when behind them stood three towering guys who looked intimidating if you didn’t know them.

Anyway, he knew this was coming but he still wasn’t prepared. He just came back from training and actually planned to ring you up but obviously you would be busy.

Cutie: Anyway, he is here so I have to go now :)

Oikawa: where is he taking you anyway?

He decided to ignore your previous message as he felt strangely inclined to know exactly what was going on where you were.

Cutie: To the movies :p

Oikawa: How lame. That’s so cliché. You only deserve the best, princess. Don’t settle for such an uncreative guy :(

Yeah, he didn’t sound jealous at all.

Cutie: You mean someone like you who literally only goes to a restaurant or the park as a first date?

You knew him so well but unfortunately you got him there. To be fair, his previous relationships weren’t that serious, so he never felt like he needed to go all out for a girl. If he had the chance to take you on a date though, he would make sure to come up with something super romantic.

Oikawa: This isn´t about me. Stop reflecting. Your date is lazy :<<

Cutie: As much I would love to hear you complaining even more about my date you don’t even know, he is here and I have to go for real now. I will text you later xxx

Oikawa frowned once more. He knew it wasn’t possible to completely make you forget about your date but he still had somehow hope that he could have kept you on your phone longer.

He sighed.

-

Your date and you made some nice small talk as you were driving over to the cinema. Once you arrived you got your tickets, some popcorn and before you knew it you were sitting at your seats.

“I´m going to the bathroom real quick before the movie starts. I will be right back” your date excused himself and you nodded with a small smile.

It was nice. It didn’t feel exactly like a date though. Your nerves calmed down which you were thankful for but somehow you missed the spark.

Shouldn’t there be a spark?

Your thoughts were interrupted when your phone vibrated once more. It did that ever since your left your apartment. You furrowed your eyebrows as you picked up the device and turned on the screen.

You weren’t surprised at what you found.

Oikawa: So is he nice? How do you know him anyway?

Oikawa: Are you already there? I hope you arrived safe and without anything inappropriating happening, young lady

Oikawa: Helllllloooooo? Where are you? I am worried he kidnapped you

Oikawa: Or are you ignoring me? That would be so rude :<<<

Oikawa: If he does anything you don’t like tell me and I will come and beat him up for you. I don’t care how far away I am.

Oikawa: Cutie? Princess? Best friend? Cutest best friend ever? Y/NNNNN?

You groaned as you read all those random texts, especially because you weren’t sure what he was thinking. You considered ignoring him or even turning off your phone completely but somehow you didn’t want to. Maybe you were so desperate for the male that you even liked his attention while being on a date with someone else.

Did that make you a bad person? Probably.

Cutie: What the hell are you doing? I am fine. He hasn’t kidnapped me yet but if that happens you will be the first to know

Oikawa: Don´t joke about that. It´s a real fear of mine :(

Cutie: of course, it is. Btw, I am not ignoring you. I am on a date. Are you really trying to third wheel on my date while being on another continent? That´s even a bit much for you.

Oikawa: Well, I am pretty ambitious and as you can see it works. You text with me instead of paying attention to your date. So, who is the one third wheeling? :)

You blushed as you realized how right he was and there wasn’t exactly any hiding it. Your date still wasn’t back, so you weren’t exactly ignoring him, which you wouldn’t do anyway because you weren’t rude but still.

Cutie: He is at the bathroom. I am not ignoring him for you

Oikawa: He left you alone? If that isnt a red flag, I don’t know what is

Cutie: the only red flag here is your trolling as my best friend. I see him coming back. Bye.

Oikawa: Don´t go!!! Tell me what´s happening. By now I am a vital part of this date. I have any right to know.

You rolled your eyes as you read the last text before putting your phone into your lap.

“You okay?” The male smiled as he sat down in his seat once more. Your eyes left the device as you gave him a bright smile of your own.

“Yeah, everything is good. I am excited for the movie” you answered, choosing to not address that your best friend was trying to invite himself to your date.

“I am glad you are. I´ve actually waited forever for it to come out. So what´s your favorite movie genre?” once more the two of you ended up having small talk, patiently waiting for the movie to start.

Sooner than later the movie started, and the theater grew rather quiet. There weren’t that many people to begin with but now everyone was paying attention to the movie, which you were supposed to do as well.

Instead, your gaze flickered back to your phone that you put on silent due to Oikawa not giving up. You couldn’t help but wonder what he was texting you but at the same time you couldn’t be so rude

Your mind couldn’t shut up though, trying to figure out Oikawa´s intentions. There was a high chance he just wanted to annoy you. You remembered that he once spied on Iwaizumi when he was going on date. He forced you to come along and as ridiculous as it sounded, it was actually kinda fun. Until Iwaizumi spotted you two and was ready to beat up Oikawa while you would get a good scolding.

But you also felt that small spark of hope lit up in your chest, a feeling you knew too well as it came back over and over again ever since you´ve realized you liked your best friend.

Sneaking a peak wouldn’t hurt, right?

You tried to do it in secret by shielding the light of your phone by pulling your jacket into your lap.

Oikawa: The movie started, right?

Oikawa: Wanna stream a movie together later this week? I kinda miss our movie nights :(

Cutie: Yeah, it´s good :)

Oikawa: Must be if you rather text me instead of watching ;)

Cutie: okay, I am going back to ignoring you

Oikawa: wait

Oikawa: don’t

Oikawa: come back to me. Don’t leave me

Cutie: calm down, idiot

Oikawa: your idiot <3

Cutie: Ehh

Oikawa: I should change your contact name to meanie and I was just about to give you great advice :(

Cutie: Go ahead :D but what advice are you talking about exactly? :o

Oikawa: Advice to keep your innocence

Cutie: I am not 12 anymore

Oikawa: Yeah, but this is your first date and I know all the dirty thoughts a guy has when he takes a girl to the movie theater, you know a dark, big space.

Cutie: Too much information. Maybe it´s just you. He hadn´t done anything. He is a nice guy. I don’t think he will try anything

Oikawa: and that, my darling, is exactly what he wants you to think

Cutie: Stop trying to scare me

Oikawa: just call me if he tries to kiss you

Cutie: maybe I want him to kiss me :p

Oikawa: do you really?

You frowned at his last question. Your heartbeat quickened and suddenly you felt like the light hearted tone of your text conversation got lost.

Your turned off the screen of your phone and straightened yourself, eyes now fixed on what was happening before you.

You tried to concentrate, you really did but Oikawa´s words didn’t want to leave your mind. What would you do? Would you kiss him? Did you want to do this with a guy like him? Would you then feel a spark? Or would it just be a bland kiss?

You shock your head, you shouldn’t worry. That won´t happen. Oikawa was a drama queen. He was just trying to scare you. Maybe he was offended that you´ve never told him about the date or maybe it was because he felt protective as your best friend.

Or maybe he liked you.

It didn’t matter because you wouldn’t do anything about it anyway.

You left your phone alone and for the next 30 minutes you actually managed to enjoy the movie and follow it´s storyline.

That’s when a romantic scene appeared on the screen and you visibly stiffened.

You felt awkward. It was almost like watching a sex scene in a movie with your family.

You flinched when you suddenly felt a hand touch yours. You gulped, your eyes shifting over to your own hand before you looked up. Your date turned himself to you, staring at you with a look you couldn’t read.

He wouldn’t, would he?

“Y/N” he whispered your name in a way that made you want to run away. You froze as the boy suddenly leaned closer. You appreciated that he wasn’t ambushing you and actually gave you time to react, showing that he wasn’t trying to force himself on you. Still, you couldn’t think right at that moment.

He leaned closer and closer, slowly closing his eyes.

Oh, he would.

-

Oikawa was bouncing his leg as he sat on his bed restlessly. He hated that he couldn’t do anything. You haven’t answered for almost half an hour. He knew he had no right to feel jealous or even prevent anything from happening between you and that boy but he was selfish in that way.

He was enlightened and a bit smug when he got you texting him back. It gave him confidence to know that he was on your mind instead of whatever loser you were dating.

Maybe he was the loser. He hated the guy without knowing a thing about him.

He took a deep breath as he suddenly regretted that he had never said anything. He didn’t have the right to feel jealous but he could have prevented all of this by confessing to you when you were still in high school.

And right this moment he couldn’t help but wonder if he wasn’t doing the same mistake once more.

His phone vibrated and he immediately looked down.

His eyes widened at the massage.

Cutie: He tried to kiss me.

A mix of anger and sadness surged through him until his mind finally processed the entire message.

Tried.

As in, you didn’t let him?

-

You flew to the bathroom. You weren’t proud but when he had leaned in you panicked and before his lips could meet yours you pretty much jumped up and told him that you needed to use the bathroom.

You didn’t even wait for an answer.

To make your embarrassment complete, you immediately texted Oikawa. You felt like a teenager. You should have just told him that you didn’t want to kiss him instead of running away. He seemed considered. He wouldn’t have forced you.

Not to forget that you were anxious about Oikawa´s respond. Would he make fun of you? Would he think you were childish? You buried your face in your hands with a grown.

Your pity party was interrupted when Oikawa called you. It wasn’t just a normal call. He tried to facetime you. What the hell?

You hesitated but ended up picking up.

“Hey, Tooru” you said almost too casual as you weren’t even sure what you were doing. You were in a bathroom stall, hiding from your date because he tried to kiss you and now you were facetiming your best friend. It couldn’t get any weirder.

You looked at your screen at which Oikawa was now displayed. Your heart automatically skipped a beat. His hair was slightly tousled. He was wearing a simple black shirt that you have seen him in countless of time but you still never failed to appreciate how handsome he looked even in the most simple things.

But what really caught your attention was his expression. His face almost looked tense. His mouth was formed in a frown and his eyed held a serious glint that you usually only saw whenever he was on the court.  

“Please tell me you didn’t kiss him” you were surprised at the urging tone of Oikawa´s voice. He almost sounded desperate.

“What? I mean, I-. No, I didn’t kiss him” you answered, your cheeks started to turn red. “I am sorry, It was stupid to text you like this. I mean, you warned me to but gosh, this was so embarrassing! I literally ran away! I should have just said no and kept my cool. Maybe you are right and I am still a kid when it comes to this stuff. Why am I even saying all this? You will never let me live that down, will you?” Your nerves got the better of you, making you brabble.

Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up

“Fuck, no, I am glad. I mean, it´s definitely a nice confession story for sure. That is if what I am about to do works out” he finally interrupted you. He clearly was more relaxed now. Instead his demeanor became almost shy as he shifted his eyes away from the screen for a second before his brown eyes met your e/c ones once more.

“Confession story? What are you-?”

“I like you. I like you so much and I am an idiot for only saying it when you decide to go on a date. I know you said that you don’t like me anymore but I know I wouldn’t be able to move on if I didn’t say anything”

After he said “I like you” you weren’t able to comprehend whatever he was saying after. All that rang in your ears were those three words.

Oikawa watched your reaction. He wasn’t sure if it was good or bad when you became completely silent and looked like you´ve just seen a ghost but this couldn’t turn any more embarresing, so he gave you time to process his words.

“Are you serious? You mean it?” Deep down you knew that he would never joke about something like that.

“Yes, what about you? Any chance to revive your past feelings for me?” he sounded so vunerable when he said those words. A small smile played on his lips. A smile you easily reciprocated.

“Yeah, actually they have never died down. I was just too much of a coward to confess directly to you. I mean, you are you and a long-distance relationship isn’t ideal as well”

“What do you mean I am me? Don´t you dare be insecure about yourself. You are gorgeous and so goddamn cute. Do you know how hard it was not to confess to you when we used to spend so much time together?”

“I wished you had” you joked, “I like you too, Tooru” you had to hold back tears as you looked at your phone. You waited so long for this moment and now that it was here you felt overwhelmed. You just wished he was here. You wanted to hug him, kiss him – just be close to him.

“Don´t look like that, sweetheart. God, if I was with you right now I would kiss you and not let you go for the rest of the night but I guess, I have to wait a bit longer until you visit me” You let out a chocked giggle as you felt so much affection right now that you didn’t know what to do with it.

“So you gonna be my girlfriend? No more dates with random guys who don’t know what a good date is?” His teasing grin made you fall in love even more.

“Yeah, I only want to go on uncreative dates with you from now on” you joked

“Hey! I told you I would do better nowadays. Especially when it is with you” he pouted playfully and you let out another laugh. This was typical Oikawa.

Your Tooru.

“Anyway, now that that´s settled, how about you show me the dude who tried to kiss my sweet girlfriend?” he spat, a scowl forming on his face.

You rolled your yes. He was truly an idiot.

“I wasn’t your girlfriend at that moment and besides, you aren’t exactly intimidating while being on a phone screen”

“Hey! As my girlfriend you are supposed to support me!”

-

One month later

“Tooru!” You jumped in his arms when you finally reached him. Your plane just landed and you swore you´ve never been that impatient about going through the process of getting to the gate where the people would wait for their friends and family.

After all, that would be the first time you would see your boyfriend in person.

He wrapped his strong arms around you, pressing your smaller body tightly against his. You had hugged him countless of times, but this felt different. More loving, warmer, more meaningful.

“Finally, you don’t know how long I´ve waited until I could finally shower you with all the love you deserve” the male whispered right into your ear, softly nipping at it.

A shiver went down your back and your cheeks were tinted red within seconds. You knew he was forward with his affection but you didn’t expect this.

“I missed you too. I couldn’t wait to finally come here. This was the longest month of my entire life” you admitted, tightening your arms that were around his neck, burying your nose deeper in his shoulder.

You felt his chest rumble softly as he let you a chuckle, his hand softly squeezing your hips.

“Missed you too. I even had a hard time to concentrate in practice. You wouldn’t believe how mean the other guys were about it” you didn’t need to see his face to know he was pouting. “but now I don´t have to miss you anymore, so show me your beautiful face”

The setter pulled away, bringing one hand to your chin to make you look up at him. Your blush deepened as you peered directly into his handsome face. His eyes were slightly hooded as his typical smirk played on his lips.

You couldn’t avert your eyes even for a second.

“You gonna run away, pretty girl?” He teased as he slowly leaned down. You couldn’t answer, only slightly shaking your head as you waited for the moment his lips would meet yours

Your eyes slowly closed and soon enough his warm lips met your soft ones. The kiss emitted the familiar spark in your chest that you always felt whenever you were just thinking about him.

Your grip on his shoulder tightened as you felt the need to steady yourself while getting lost in the kiss. Oikawa was a good kisser. While you were pretty sure that gentle wasn’t his go to method, he chose to kiss you slow and deep, taking your breath away.

Literally, which was the only reason the two of you pulled apart. He leaned his forehead against yours. A satisfied sigh leaving his lips as he just enjoyed the moment.

You kept your eyes closed as you tried to concentrate on the feeling of him.

“I love you” he mumbled, only for your ears to hear.

Your eyes snaped open, meeting his as he was already gazing at you. The usually playful glint was replaced by an affectionate one that told you everything you needed to know.

“I love you too, Tooru” you replied without any hesitation.

“I wanted to tell you when I first confessed but then I thought it would be so much nicer if I could kiss you right afterwards” he smirked, softly cupping your face with one hand as his eyes traced over your adorable face that started to resemble a cherry.

“Then what are you waiting for?” You teased shyly, hoping he would just kiss you once more.

And he did.

And you kissed back.

[softspideys]

The Perfect Date

summary: tom makes it his mission to take you on the perfect first date. the only problem is, you have no idea. 

warnings: none

word count: 3.6k

pairings: tom holland x reader

a/n: this was supposed to be a valentine’s day fic but then I forgot about it. oops. plz enjoy anyway

Tom had just started the last lap of Wario’s Gold Mine when he heard Zendaya ask, “Got any plans for Valentine’s Day?”

He tried not to pay attention to your answer, focusing on keeping his lead, but he couldn’t help it. His eyes flickered over to where you were sitting at the kitchen table, absently circling your finger around the rim of your wine glass.

You straightened up at her question, scoffing. “Are you kidding? When’s the last time you saw me date anybody, Z?”

“Hey,” she said, pointing at you accusingly. “Don’t even start with me. I set you up with people all the time, it’s not my fault you’re so picky.”

“It’s called having standards,” you fired back. “Sorry I’m not interested in pretentious jerks who insist on mansplaining Tarantino films to me over their venti-soy-no-foam latte with a triple shot of espresso.”

Zendaya cackled, and though he couldn’t see your face, Tom could tell you were smiling too; your words had no real bite to them.

“Seriously though,” you continued with a sigh. “I think I might just give up dating for a while. Lately it feels like my only options are either crappy blind dates or going through a sleazy hookup app for some mediocre sex. I can’t remember the last time I got properly asked out and went on, like, a nice date.”

As soon as you said that, the gears started turning in Tom’s head. And then he got an idea so good he almost forgot about the race entirely, until Harrison hit him with a red shell and passed him, sailing over the finish line in first place.

“Yes!” Harrison cheered, causing you and Zendaya to look over, startled. “Finally, I won!”

“Wow,” Zendaya said, amused. “I think that’s the first time you’ve ever lost in Mario Kart, Holland.”

“Yeah, what’s gotten into you?” you asked teasingly as Harrison got up and did a victory dance.

Tom normally hated losing, but he was too preoccupied at the moment to care. “Nothing,” he said quickly. “Just . . . a little rusty, I guess.”

You raised your eyebrows, but then Zendaya challenged Harrison to a rematch, and the two of them immediately started a new grand prix while you called dibs on the winner. With the distraction in place, Tom had plenty of time to come up with a plan.

The four of you had been friends for years, but he’d always harbored something of a crush on you. He’d never tried to push the boundaries or pursue you because he liked your relationship as it was already, and didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. But this would be different. This was harmless. He was simply going to show you how you deserved to be treated, give you a good date to remember among the bad ones.

Nothing else. Right?

* * *

You eyed the huge bouquet of roses your coworker had on her desk and tried not to feel too envious. She’d made a big show of bringing them in this morning and inviting everyone who walked by to smell them, going on and on about how her girlfriend had surprised her for Valentine’s Day yesterday.

So what, you thought to yourself. I can get myself flowers whenever I want; I don’t need a holiday to have an excuse to do it. It really didn’t make you feel better though.

“Hey,” a familiar voice said, making you jump a mile. You looked up. Tom was peering over the wall of your cubicle, which was . . . unexpected. He hardly ever visited you at work.

“Oh, hi,” you said. “I didn’t even see you come in.”

“Yeah, you were totally zoned out,” Tom said. “Good thing I brought caffeine.” He placed a to-go cup from your favorite coffee shop on your desk. You saw the order written on the side; he’d gotten it exactly right.

“Wow,” you said, surprised but grateful. “Thanks.” You’d already had coffee this morning, but clearly it was shaping up to be a two-cup type of day. You took a careful sip and felt better already.

“No problem.” Tom followed your line of vision to your coworker’s desk. “Pretty flowers.”

“Yeah,” you agreed, a little quietly. You cleared your throat. “So, what’s up? Did we have plans today or something?”

“Oh, no,” he said, shifting from foot to foot, “but that’s actually kind of what I wanted to talk to you about.” He seemed nervous, which in turn made you nervous.

“Okay,” you said, giving him your full attention.  

“So . . . are you doing anything this Friday night?”

It was only Monday. You thought for a second before shaking your head. “I don’t think so.”

“Would you like to have dinner? With me?”

You furrowed your eyebrows. That was it? “Oh. Sure.”

You could’ve sworn you saw his eyes widen the slightest bit. “Really? I mean, great. Cool.” He scratched his nose. “So, Friday at six o’clock, then? I’ll text you the name of the place?”

“Sounds good,” you said. He seemed excited, though you couldn’t figure out why. You got dinner with him, Harrison, and Zendaya at least once a week.

“Alrighty,” Tom said, swinging his arms a little and nodding. “Well, I’ll let you get back to work. See you Friday.”

“See you,” you said. Did he really come all the way to your office to ask you this in person instead of just texting you like he normally would? Maybe he’d been nearby or something. You watched him leave, mostly confused but also kind of endeared.

“Was that your boyfriend?” your coworker asked, subtly adjusting her flowers again.

You quickly shook your head, turning back to your computer and taking another sip of your coffee. “Oh, no. Just a friend.”

As Tom left your office, he allowed himself to do a small fist-pump. Getting you to agree was the hardest part. Now came the slightly-easier-but-still-hard part: making sure he gave you the best first date ever.

* * *

Something strange was going on with Tom. You first realized it when you brought up the dinner on Friday to Zendaya and she had no clue what you were talking about.

“Tom didn’t invite you?”

“Nope.” She popped the “p.”

“Huh.” You chewed your lip. “That’s . . . weird. Maybe he figured I’d just tell you about it. And I guess you don’t really need an invitation anyway . . . do you think he invited Harrison?”

“I don’t know.” You were on the phone, so you couldn’t see Zendaya’s face, but it kind of sounded like she was trying not to laugh. “Maybe he wants it to be just the two of you.”

“Maybe.” It was rare, but it wasn’t like you never spent time with just Tom or Harrison.  You couldn’t remember the last time you had dinner with either of them one-on-one, though. This seemed . . . different. “But I’m sure he won’t mind if you guys show up,” you said with a shrug.

Now Zendaya did laugh. “No, no, it’s fine,” she said. “I think I’m supposed to babysit my niece and nephew anyway. You guys have fun.”

Then there was Tom himself. You hadn’t seen him in person since Monday, but he’d been texting you random questions all week:

Do you prefer a casual or an elegant ambiance?

How many candles on a table is too many? Or do you think overhead lamps are better?

Oyster bars . . . yes/no?

You answered all of them with increasing bemusement, but any time you asked why he would mysteriously change the subject. You couldn’t help but feel like there was something you were missing here.

Finally, he sent you the name of the restaurant on Friday morning: Soul & Persona.

You’d never heard of it, so you decided to look it up. One glance at their website told you this place wasn’t like the casual restaurant-and-bars you and your friends usually frequented. This was fancy. Clicking over to the menu, you inhaled sharply at the prices written next to the items. Luckily, today was payday.

You arrived at the restaurant shortly before six. Another person was already standing outside, and as you got closer you realized it was Tom. Two things about that were already weird: one, he was normally notoriously late to everything; and two, he was holding a bouquet of roses in one hand that were so big they nearly obstructed his face.

He didn’t notice you approaching, busy frowning at something on his phone. “Hey,” you said at last, making him jump.  

“Oh! Hey!” He cleared his throat, shoving his phone in his pocket. “I mean—good evening.” He did a strange little bow before thrusting the flowers at you. “These are for you.”

“Wow,” you said, taking them carefully. “They’re beautiful. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. You look really nice.”

You were glad you researched the restaurant in advance, because the jeans and t-shirt combo you’d originally planned on wearing would definitely not have been appropriate here.

“So do you,” you said. He did: he was wearing slacks and a nice dress shirt under a jacket, his hair neatly combed.

“Thanks. Should we go in?” he asked. You nodded, and he hurried to open the door, ushering you inside. It was crowded, which made you a little worried. How long would the wait time be?

But Tom went right up to the hostess stand. “Hi,” he said, “we have a reservation for two at six; the name is Tom?”

She looked at her book and nodded. “You can follow me right this way.” She led you to a quiet corner of the restaurant and seated you at a table by the window. “Enjoy your meal.”

“Here,” Tom said, pulling your chair out before you could sit down. Again, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off.

“This place is crazy nice,” you said, looking around as the hostess placed a wine list on the table.

“Yeah,” Tom agreed, a little distractedly. “Um. So. Do you prefer to work in a team or alone?”

You blinked. “What? Where’d that come from?”

He shrugged, fidgeting with his collar like he was nervous. “I—I dunno. Just making conversation.”

“Oo-kay,” you said with a laugh. “Well, I haven’t seen you since you blessed my office with your presence on Monday. How was your week? Didn’t you have to give a presentation yesterday?”

“Yes, and one of the board members literally fell asleep during it,” Tom said, wrinkling his nose.

He seemed to loosen up after that, and the conversation flowed naturally from then on as you talked about your plans for the weekend, your friends, your families, and any other random thoughts that occurred to you.

For dinner you tried a pasta dish while Tom got steak, and you each had the soup of the day for an appetizer. Your knowledge of wine was limited to whatever was cheapest when you went to the liquor store, but Tom had apparently become an expert overnight: he asked the waiter all kinds of questions about their reds vs. their whites before finally ordering a bottle for the two of you to share.

All in all, it was an enjoyable dinner. You always had fun with Tom, of course, but you rarely got to spend time with just him. And though you normally stayed away from expensive places like this one, you had to admit the food was delicious and the ambiance made you feel very sophisticated.

“Can I get either of you some coffee or dessert?” the waiter asked as he cleared your plates. You’d never been one to say no to that, but Tom jumped in before you could open your mouth.

“No thank you,” he said quickly. “Just the check please.” Then he looked at you. “I thought maybe we could walk to that bookstore you like? The one with the bakery in it? We could—we could get dessert there and browse.”

“Oh,” you said, surprised. “Yeah, that sounds great.”

“Cool.” He sounded relieved.

The waiter brought out the bill and Tom grabbed it as soon as he set it on the table. “What are you doing?” you protested. There was normally an agreement among your friends that everyone paid for their own meals when you went out to dinner.

“I’m paying,” he insisted, waving you off as you fruitlessly tried to put your own debit card down.

“At least let me Venmo you for my half.”

“Nope.”

“Tom!”

“Seriously, it’s fine.” He wouldn’t even let you see how much the meal cost.  

You could tell he wasn’t going to budge for whatever reason, so you had no choice but to relent. “If you’re sure,” you said, watching him smugly sign the receipt. You made sure to grab your flowers before you got up and followed him out of the restaurant.

The bookstore you liked was a few blocks away, but you didn’t mind the walk. The air was warm but balmy, refreshing on your face. “That was amazing,” Tom said.

“It was,” you agreed. “I’m convinced they put actual crack in that pasta sauce. It was otherworldly.”

He laughed before he asked, a little hesitantly, “So are you . . . having a nice time?”

You looked over at him questioningly. “Of course I am. But I always have a nice time with you.”

“Good,” he said quietly, nodding. “Good.”

“Are you?”

“Yes,” Tom said immediately. “I just wanted to make sure. So, what are some of your pet peeves?”

“What is it with you and these questions?” Thankfully, you arrived at the bookstore and were spared from answering.

One of your favorite things about hanging out with Tom was that you didn’t necessarily need to be attached at the hip or in constant conversation in order to have fun. As soon as you entered he made a beeline for the True Crime section while you went to look at the new releases.

It was nice to just browse on your own for a while, and you ended up buying a book you’d been wanting to read ever since it came out. Tom was still perusing the shelves after you checked out, so you sneakily went up to the bakery counter and bought some dessert.

He found you sitting at a table in the cafe, reading your new book. “What’s this?” He gestured to the two pieces of cake and cups of decaf coffee on the table in front of you. “You should’ve let me pay!”

You’d been anticipating this, so you merely rolled your eyes. “Cry about it. You paid for dinner; it was the least I could do.”

“That’s not how this works,” Tom objected, but he reluctantly sat down and pulled his cake towards him anyway. The two of you discussed your books while you ate, and you tried not to act like you were eyeing his slice the entire time.

He noticed, of course. “You wanna try?”

You nodded sheepishly. You expected him to push the plate towards you, but instead he scooped a piece up onto his fork and held it out. “Here.” A little surprised, you opened your mouth and allowed him to feed it to you. For some reason it felt oddly intimate.

He was watching you expectantly as you chewed. “Good?”

“Yeah,” you managed to say, swallowing. “Really good.”

It was getting late and the store was closing soon, so you left after finishing your coffees. Usually this was when you’d call it a night and go home, but this time you felt no strong desire to. So when Tom started walking along the river instead of heading back towards the restaurant, you didn’t mind at all, falling into step beside him.

The night sky was clear, giving you a breathtaking view of dozens of stars. Hardly anyone else was around, and the river below was quiet and calm. It was like you were suspended in time. You couldn’t remember ever feeling so peaceful.

Tom’s hand bumped yours as you walked. You didn’t think anything of it at first, but then it happened again, and this time he laced his fingers through yours.

For some reason that was what made everything suddenly fall into place, for you to finally put two and two together and realize what was going on.

Oh my God.

“Tom,” you said hesitantly, shattering the comfortable silence between you.

“Yeah?”

“Is this . . . a date?”

He stopped walking, forcing you to do the same. Under the soft glow of the streetlights you could see he was staring at you. “Wait,” he said slowly. “This whole time . . . you didn’t know?”

Now that he’d basically just confirmed it, everything started to make sense: coming all the way to your office just to ask you to dinner, bringing you coffee, making reservations at a fancy restaurant, paying for the meal—

You were on a date and you hadn’t even realized.

“Oh, God,” was all you could say. You almost wanted to laugh, though nothing about this was even remotely funny. It was like you’d been hit over the head with a brick.

How could you not have known? It should’ve been obvious when he paid for the meal; no, when you realized you’d be eating at such a fancy place; no, when he showed up randomly on Monday, brought you coffee, and fucking asked you to dinner.

You both seemed to realize at the same time that you were still holding hands, and he quickly dropped it and stepped back. For the first time since you’d met, the air between the two of you was awkward. “I—I’m so sorry. I thought you knew.”

“I should’ve known,” you said, shaking your head. “I’m so stupid, I just didn’t think—” You didn’t finish your sentence. You honestly couldn’t figure out why you didn’t realize it sooner.

Because he’s your friend, a voice in the back of your head reminded you. He’s your friend and he’s never expressed any interest in you before, not like this.

That was true. You’d always thought Tom was handsome, and maybe early on in your friendship you’d fantasized about him once or twice. But he always treated you normally, never outwardly showing any sign of wanting more.  

“You’re not stupid,” he said immediately. “I should’ve made it more clear.”

“I’m just confused, I guess,” you said carefully. “I mean . . . why now? And why . . . me?”

He exhaled. “I overheard you the other day when you and Z were talking, and you were saying something like . . . you hadn’t been properly asked out and taken on a nice date in a while. So I guess I just wanted to do that for you. Make you happy.”

Your brain felt like it was short-circuiting. You didn’t know what to say to that, but he seemed to take your silence as a cue to keep going.

“That’s why I came to your office, to ask you in person instead of doing it over text or whatever. And I saw you looking at those flowers your coworker had, so I bought you some. And I picked this restaurant because it was nice but also because it was near the bookstore. And I memorized some first-date questions in case our conversation got boring, but I think that probably wasn’t necessary.” He sucked in a deep breath. “And now that I’m saying all of this I realize how weird it sounds. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

“Oh,” you said dumbly. His previous words were still echoing in your head. I guess I just wanted to do that for you. Make you happy.

He’d taken the time to think about all the things you liked and used that knowledge to plan the Perfect Date. You couldn’t remember the last time anyone had done something so kind, so thoughtful, so . . . romantic. Did this mean what you thought it meant?

Of course, the only way you were able to translate all of this was with, “Wow.”

But then he added, “And—and I didn’t do all of this because I thought it would lead to a second date or anything like that. I only—”

“Wait,” you interrupted, your stomach plummeting. This conversation was giving you whiplash. “So you . . . don’t like me?”

“Huh?”

“You did all of this . . . just because? You don’t actually want to go on a date with me?” Now you were more confused than ever, and a little hurt beneath that.

Tom’s eyes widened. “No! Well yes, but . . . no. Wait.” He took a deep breath. Now or never, right? “I do like you, but this was separate from all that. I only meant that I wasn’t expecting anything from this. I just wanted you to have a good time.”

You nodded slowly, exhaling. “Okay. So . . . what if I told you that I did have a good time, that I like you too, and I want go out with you again?”

Tom blinked at you owlishly for a second before his face split into a huge grin, one you were sure your own was mirroring. “Then . . . I’d say . . . same. To all of it.”

“Good,” you said, stepping closer. “In fact, I think this has almost been the perfect first date.”

He paused. “Wait, almost? What would make it perfect?” He furrowed his eyebrows, looking a little panicked. You laughed, reaching up and cupping his jaw.

“It has to end with a good-night kiss, doesn’t it?”

Tom relaxed, his hands finding their way to your waist. “Oh. Yes, you’re absolutely right.”

The two of you were still smiling as you kissed, and Tom lifted one of his hands to do a silent, sneaky fist-pump. 

Mission: success.

[astroyongie]

can you do a not-so-deep analysis on why did you choose jake and heeseung as someone you see problematic in the group? i personally think that too but if i list down the reasons why i got to know i’m not the only one. i have an engene friend who is a heejake bias and i think she kind of hates me now. i just told her that i had this feeling in my gut that at some point they will get some hate with some actions that they made, and she got so mad saying they are literally angels and can’t even hurt a mosquito.🤷🏻‍♀️ my bias is jay and she started throwing hate against him saying he is a pretentious guy that is problematic…little does she know i follow your blog and i oop— should we tell her tho? that jay has the most positive aura in the group?👀 anyways, i hope you’re having a great day! just ranting some stuff here.

I don't understand how in the first place people can call themselves a fandom name and then throw hate to one of the members. It doesn't make sense to me.

I personally don't like their auras, but of course everyone is welcome to disagree and I don't want anyone to hate on the boys only based on my readings and opinions !

I don't want to get in the details, exactly because I don't want people to hate on them without their own proof, but I don't like their auras because of the actions they do, the way they think about certain topics or view life in general. From what I know I think Heeseung it's simply because he has a very low self esteem and so he does things no one should be proud of, to make himself feel better. Jake him, has a dark energy because of the way he sees people as things and he doesn't like to be told off, doesn't ask himself if what he does is wrong, etc. has a victim like mind, to which I don't like. But again, it's my opinion based on my readings.

Also people should stop saying "x from x group isn't a bad person, he wouldn't hurt a fly" like girl/boy, you don't know them personally. Every human would be able to hurt other people, The Milgram Experiment proofs that exactly.