#opposite of afternoon

[tohakumaru]

> cry, you are free

"so long, see you tomorrow.", the moon whispers and takes its leave from the sky. slowly, the stars extinguish themselves one by one. beyond the illumination of the gleaming sands, the vast darkness takes hold.

not that it matters, not to you. you sit there cradling that cursed freedom in your lap, wailing like a newborn breathing in air for the first time. are you grieving? for what? for whom?

i knew you couldn't cut it. all this talk about starting over, about how you just need a chance, how you deserve a chance. i guess it was all talk.

stop it, stop your crying and get up. get up now before it is too late. there won't be another chance. please, i'm begging you.

but you cry and cry, until the very fabric of your being peels away from itself and pools at your knees, softly but obstinately, like prayers falling to the bottom of the bed for lack of a god to go to. slowly, greedily, the sand soaks up every drop, as though it has been patiently waiting for you. you are moved that something wants you as you are. you are relieved that it is so painless. you feel at peace, at last.

when the tears stopped flowing, it dawns on you that you don't exist anymore

---

it's pitch black, but so bright. it should be easier, but so hard. why so tragic, darling? have you only just realised that a millenium is only romantic on paper?

i'd always told you that was the wrong way to live. you and me and forever don't go hand in hand. but i won't let you go, should have known that from the start.

---

and then, out of nowhere, a creature bearing the likeness of a bird, but is clearly not one, appears on a make-shift raft.

the creature is silent, but looks at you with eyes so empty you can only project a sense of beckoning onto. it holds out its hands and signals you to follow.

(previous chapter)

[baggy-holmes]

Please post the other pics you took 😏

i’ve really only got one for ya today, anon

[reallilystuff]

back on my drawing bullshit or whatecer....yeag

*haves ur lock @naffeclipse* your oc. her. eel(?) looking lady. havelocked. she is. so so cool looking

pov ur about to become fish food. sleeping with the fishies tonight. uhhh what other fish related prey jokes can i make. uuuuuummm

oh yheh drawing pile task #1 out of 23568 done yippeee!!!! now i go back into my cave for the next four years

little version without the murky lighting below readmore for funsies

ɢᴜʜ ʙᴜʜ? ᴡʜᴜʜ? ʜᴜʜ ᴡʜᴜʜ? ʏᴜʜ?

[francis-ford-kofola]

Scarface (1983) // Dog Day Afternoon (1975)

[sailor-cerise]

the difference between doing chores or errands on a good day vs a bad day is stunning.

Sometimes on days that are ok physically but bad mentally, I forgot how starkly different it can be.

I start to believe that I'm lazy or not trying hard enough or that I cut myself too much slack or make too many excuses or feel too sorry for myself and really I just need to do better.

And then I have a rare day like today where I am able to easily start and focus on an important, tedious paperwork-related task for two hours, getting it done, and not feel awful afterwards. The amount of willpower it takes is laughably small in comparison to most days.

No crying or bursts of anger or overwhelming exhaustion or inchoate anxiety.

Instead: a moderate sense of satisfaction, and pleasant relief that I'm done.

I feel like a different person. I know it won't last, but even that realization doesn't feel that bad. Because things are pretty good right now.

And I remember:

It's not supposed to be so hard all the time.

That I'm NOT exaggerating or imagining just how ridiculously fucking hard it is to do every-day things.

This is what it should feel like.

~* It's not supposed to feel like the world is ending because I need to open my mail. *~

What did I do differently to make today happen?

I let myself rest. For as long as I needed. For weeks.

I stopped pushing myself so fucking hard all the time, and protected my body and respected my limits and let things go.

It doesn't always give me a magic day. My exchange rate is like, 2 weeks of aggressively resting and setting boundaries for 1-2 days of doing what I want and need.

But it reminds me that pushing through is not the way to get what I want.

Maybe taking care of myself and being kind to myself will get me that day or afternoon or hour of magic, maybe it won't -- but running myself into the ground never does.

[airenyah]

Your essay on Joong's underrated acting skills deepened my Joong appreciation so much, that I watched Mafia the Series, I'm watching Ploy's Yearbook (even though there is a serious lack of Joong so far), and I'm planning on watching The Warp Effect too. I haven't watched het shows in over ten years, so this is a big deal! 😂 I really liked him with Dunk in their shows, but MTS gave me another facet of him, because he's so timid in it, unlike in SIMM and HA, where he's (seemingly) very cool and in control. So thank you for making me a full time Joong (and Dunk) girl 💜

i saw this message first thing in the morning when i woke up yesterday and it instantly put me in a good mood!!! <3

YESSSSSS I'M SO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT

mafia the series might actually be my absolute fave thai het-show, it's just SO funny!!!! and the entire cast is so great, like, not just joong but the entire cast plays off each other SO well. and don't even get me started on gina virahya and her portrayal of anna kondra!!!!

you know, when i went into mafia the series i saw the poster and was like "ughh i really am gonna have to sit through this standard (overly) dramatic mafia show just for joong, huh. the things i do for my boy..." and then. AND THEN. you can imagine my surprise. i was crying tears of laughter throughout the show and i was actually laughing so hard that my mom made a comment about how she could hear my laugh in my room

beam is my loser boy and joong portrays him in such an adorably awkward way, i love it <333

and yes there IS a serious lack of joong in ploy's yearbook so far :((((

it was quite funny tho bc in the one scene where joong does show up i immediately recognized him by the back of his head, like!! i saw this:

and instantly went "OH there's my boy!!!!!" 😂😂😂

and i can't wait to see him with film bc film did extremely well with gun in not me and i feel like film and joong will also work together really well

you know, i'm always happy to turn people into full time joong (and dunk) girls!!!!!!

i've adored them ever since simm which i watched live from ep2 onwards. fun fact, actually: when i started simm i actually had no idea who they were (even though technically i'd seen dunk in bad buddy already, except i wasn't paying attention to the random high school bandmates and so i didn't actually recognize dunk and only realized later on ahahah)

aaaanyway, i had no idea who they were, right? and so in 2022 my mom and i spent two nights in prague during easter and in the evening we were in our hotel room and we were kinda looking for something to watch. and i was like "hey look, gmmtv has a new bl out and it looks kinda cute and fluffy judging by the thumbnails?? and like something that doesn't require too much brain power?? plus, there's also only two eps out so far, so we'll be caught up right away" and so we watched the first two episodes and then the two of us ended up watching every new ep together every week hahaha

i actually didn't really talk about it on tumblr back then and when you go back on my blog you'll see that there are hardly any simm post. but really, with every new simm episode that aired i liked joongdunk more and more. and especially once the characters started dating i was actually so in awe about just how comfortable joong and dunk were with each other and how they absolutely weren't afraid to touch? like, their physical affection was just so casual, like it was the most natural thing in the world to them in an "i'm-not-even-thinking-about-it-bc-it's-so-normal" kind of way and that was just soooo refreshing to watch?? i was (and still am) truly amazed

and when just a couple of months later, at the end of 2022 gmmtv announced joongdunk were gonna get another show together i got SO excited!! and also when it was revealed that simm was included in our skyy 2!!!!

and then hidden agenda started airing and then i was tagged in that tag game and then i went to watch joong's entire filmography and then i ended up falling into a joongdunk rabbit hole and here we are...

anyway, i have multiple agendas and one of them is turning people into joong fans and dunk fans and joongdunk fans sllksdfd

and my other agenda is getting people to watch mafia the series, bc it's truly a gem of a show!!!!

(speaking of agendas: the only thing that's missing in your message is you telling me that you approve of my fight for a sexy joongdunk vampire bl, like... that would have made the message and the influence of my joong/dunk/joongdunk blogging complete 😂😂😂)

[the-prussian-nap]

Day 7, Train/Subway

Emmet and Ingo on their way home after a long shift!

[soldier-poet-king]

I slept nearly 11 hours and I'm STILL upset and angry, and further upset and angry with myself for letting it get to me, and it's just >:(

[peniscat]

in eight hours my thesis presentation is over and then i can focus my attention to being a succession scholar

[d0d0-b0i]

OH MY GOD IM NOT INSANE PEPSI CHANGED THEIR FUCKING RECIPE IM GONNA FUCKING KILL SOMETHING I FUCKING HATE SWEETENERS

[scuddle-bubble101]

We have a moment of waking early again, so hello morning gang XD

[magistralucis]

@absolut--kurant!

[hollowsart]

I am so tired. Barely-ish awake.

Forced myself to wake up early.

Hhhhh

Why is sleep such a pain to maintain.

[ierogenvy]

what the fuck is wrong with this dog he cannot sleep through the night. i’ve taken him out FIVE times tonight (9pm when i got home, 10:30ish, 11:15 right before i when to bed, got woken up at 1:15, and again just now, at 4:15)

[ihopeucomehomesoon]

yay i don’t have to wake up early on monday since the labs on that day don’t start until the 2nd week

[iwantyoursexmp3]

this post really is the blueprint for RR felix vs lover boy felix