#or are they frequently blind to the way things can be…interpreted

[theworld-accordingtocasey]

ㄹㅈ

[[MORE]]

.

[askablindperson]

In what way does alt text serve as an accessibility tool for blind people? Do you use text to speech? I'm having trouble imagining that. I suppose I'm in general not understanding how a blind person might use Tumblr, but I'm particularly interested in the function of alt text.

In short, yes. We use text to speech (among other access technology like braille displays) very frequently to navigate online spaces. Text to speech software specifically designed for blind people are called screen readers, and when use on computers, they enable us to navigate the entire interface using the keyboard instead of the mouse And hear everything on screen, as long as those things are accessible. The same applies for touchscreens on smart phones and tablets, just instead of using keyboard commands, it alters the way touch affect the screen so we hear what we touch before anything actually gets activated. That part is hard to explain via text, but you should be able to find many videos online of blind people demonstrating how they use their phones.

As you may be able to guess, images are not exactly going to be accessible for text to speech software. Blindness screen readers are getting better and better at incorporating OCR (optical character recognition) software to help pick up text in images, and rudimentary AI driven Image descriptions, but they are still nowhere near enough for us to get an accurate understanding of what is in an image the majority of the time without a human made description.

Now I’m not exactly a programmer so the terminology I use might get kind of wonky here, but when you use the alt text feature, the text you write as an image description effectively gets sort of embedded onto the image itself. That way, when a screen reader lands on that image, Instead of having to employ artificial intelligences to make mediocre guesses, it will read out exactly the text you wrote in the alt text section.

Not only that, but the majority of blind people are not completely blind, and usually still have at least some amount of residual vision. So there are many blind people who may not have access to a screen reader, but who may struggle to visually interpret what is in an image without being able to click the alt text button and read a description. Plus, it benefits folks with visual processing disorders as well, where their visual acuity might be fine, but their brain’s ability to interpret what they are seeing is not. Being able to click the alt text icon in the corner of an image and read a text description Can help that person better interpret what they are seeing in the image, too.

Granted, in most cases, typing out an image description in the body of the post instead of in the alt text section often works just as well, so that is also an option. But there are many other posts in my image descriptions tag that go over the pros and cons of that, so I won’t digress into it here.

Utilizing alt text or any kind of image description on all of your social media posts that contain images is single-handedly one of the simplest and most effective things you can do to directly help blind people, even if you don’t know any blind people, and even if you think no blind people would be following you. There are more of us than you might think, and we have just as many varied interests and hobbies and beliefs as everyone else, so where there are people, there will also be blind people. We don’t only hang out in spaces to talk exclusively about blindness, we also hang out in fashion Facebook groups and tech subreddits and political Twitter hashtags and gaming related discord servers and on and on and on. Even if you don’t think a blind person would follow you, You can’t know that for sure, and adding image descriptions is one of the most effective ways to accommodate us even if you don’t know we’re there.

I hope this helps give you a clearer understanding of just how important alt text and image descriptions as a whole are for blind accessibility, and how we make use of those tools when they are available.

[explodo-smash]

Katsuki as the Light & Izuku as the Dark- Love and Harmonious Totality in The New Era

This meta analysis’ purpose is to make the case for KT/DK existing as Light and Dark in each other’s stories respectively, and explain how this dichotomy challenges black & white thinking in the narrative. 

This meta analysis will also explore how this Light/Dark dichotomy lays the groundwork for why Katsuki/Izuku as a unit represent a “New Era" in the story.

[Can also be found on twitter]

Whether by Save to Win/Win to Save, or the fact they are osananajimi, the story frequently draws our attention back to Katsuki and Izuku’s complicated, influential and powerful bond. Despite all the changes they’ve gone through in MHA up until now, both individually and together, one thing has always remained constant: they are as symbolically connected as they are physically/mentally/emotionally.

We argue that one of the ways MHA’s narrative connects them symbolically as polar, balanced parts of a larger whole is through a sense of DUALITY. 

Furthermore, we argue that the use of contrasting Light/Dark motifs act as both visual and text metaphor to create this duality, with Katsuki representing Light and Izuku representing Dark.

It's important to note that by Light/Dark, we aren’t referring to their moral clarity, goodness or badness. Rather, we will explore Light/Dark as a metaphor that builds on themes in MHA while creating tension (contrast, conflict leading, fear and rejection) and harmony (balance, unity, love and acceptance).

Note: the Light and Dark comparisons/metaphors between Katsuki and Izuku used in MHA sometimes get lost in translation in the anime. Here are some examples….

For Izuku:

Izuku is often encased in shadows in Katsuki’s POV since the beginning.

The word used for quirk (kosei) meaning “personality”, with quirkless meaning “lack of personality”, evoking the absence of something

Character design leaning on “dark” shades (dark/filled in hair, eyes including dark pupils early in the series)

Izuku’s “Dark Hero” arc as it’s officially titled.

Izuku’s prototype/beta name “Yamikumo” meaning Dark Cloud and his personality type tending toward facades/anxiousness

Blackwhip being the OFA quirk that resonates with Izuku’s emotions (particularly his rage)

His recent “power up” moment in the current arc involving blackwhip is denoted by claws, fangs and black tendrils. This form is officially called “overlay” but Hori also calls it “carnage” in his head.

And for Katsuki:

Izuku’s description of Katsuki as someone bright and blinding, often bringing light into his eyes as an artistic consistency.

His quirk “explosion” emitting light, his move “stun grenade” literally a blinding flash of light.

Character design leaning on “light” shades (light hair, eyes aren’t filled in)

Prototype/beta ‘Gogo’ Katsuki’s light clothing and his personality type overall being bubbly and overprotective (toward Yamikumo).

Katsuki’s death chapter titled “Light Fades to Rain”, and his revival evoking that visual of a bright light.

His recent “power up” moment in the current arc is denoted by flashing lights and explosions all around his body - highlighted with laughter, and glee.

Katsuki and Izuku connect with all the various opposites attract concepts that draw on the Light/Dark duality (sun/moon, yang/yin) but the first mistake people make is approaching these concepts with black & white thinking in mind.

The meaning

The Light/Dark imagery/descriptions/metaphors with KT/DK exist as a set piece that subverts expectations by challenging binary/black & white interpretations.

Katsuki’s ‘light’ is confident and inspiring - but it can also be blinding, harsh, and overwhelming.

Izuku’s ‘darkness’ is almost like a blanket. It’s comforting and sympathetic - but it can also be scary, unnerving, and mysterious.

Initially, Katsuki wanted to get away from the ‘darkness’. Izuku was like his shadow, following him relentlessly. He misinterpreted Izuku’s behavior as secrecy or deceit. 

Izuku dragged in as much ‘light’ as he could, by both observing Katsuki closely as well as refusing to part with the nickname ‘Kacchan’. His pursuit was a combination of hope for the future and a fascination for something he didn’t have (envy). 

Both of them have a capacity for unending love and selflessness, but also uncontrolled rage and violence.

The point of this contrast is for us as readers to highlight and dismantle the surface level perceptions of these characters in the same way Katsuki and Izuku progressively do for each other. 

Building on the themes 

In the same way Izuku always saw, and admired, Katsuki’s “light”, Katsuki could see, and feared, Izuku’s “darkness”. This contributed in building tension between the two, both literally and narratively. Where another story may have framed them as opposing forces, however, MHA frames them as dual forces. Where the source of tension for opposing forces may be fundamental differences, the tension between Katsuki and Izuku comes from a REJECTION of their fundamental parts. By extension, this became a rejection of their potential for harmony.

There’s enough evidence to suggest the defining concepts for prototype/beta Katsuki and Izuku(Yamikumo) weren’t entirely discarded, but rather modified and layered upon. One of the major differences was how prototype KT/DK got along, with one of the earliest scenes drafted for MHA being a scene where they fight together.

It’s ultimately a mistake to presume Izuku is purely a positive ray of sunshine just like it was a mistake to assume Katsuki was hiding a bitter and villainous darkness within him. It’s the neglect of their core that causes them to dig their heels in and become their worst selves: 

Katsuki as egotistical, harsh and tightly guarded with a tendency to lash out, against Izuku as obsessive, obstinate and habitually repressing his emotions.

Society shaped their “quirks” (their power, outward appearance) but time and relationships informed their “individuality” (their ideals, hopes, inner drives). 

Izuku's unwavering belief in Katsuki’s light was a tether that enabled Katsuki to embrace and flourish into it. Katsuki grew to understand the darkness in Izuku by confronting that which scared him. This allowed him to empathize with Izuku’s complex thoughts/feelings during a time where Izuku was at his worst (“Dark Hero” arc–onward) and dedicate himself to making sure Izuku didn’t carry the weight of the world and its burdens on his own. 

In other words, the inevitable payoff for KT/DK facing and dismantling the tension within themselves and between each other is the harmonizing of the dual/complementary themes they’ve been written to represent, which ultimately mirrors the main messages and questions posed by MHA.

‘The New Era’

As two major pillars of the story, Katsuki and Izuku are in many ways microcosm(s) of MHA society at large.

Katsuki and Izuku as complementary forces and not opposing ones seems obvious until it is put into practice. Some characters in the story and many readers in the audience alike have struggled with understanding their multifaceted nature and reconciling what they know of KT/DK from the outside with the seemingly contradictory information KT/DK have given us about themselves over time. Rather than a fluke, this contrast is an intentional writing choice evidenced by elements like their Light/Dark symbolism.

The lines at the main center of conflict in MHA - Heroes vs. Villains - has been long since blurred. In much the same way Heroes vs. Villains has complicated good vs. evil and challenges black&white thinking, KT/DK’s relationship as counterparts is representative of a greater duality that paints a clearer picture of MHA’s philosophies on the nature of heroism, societal progress, and the difficult process of inner growth. This picture is coming to a head with the story situating them as the beginning of “A New Era.” 

MHA understands people as collections of thoughts, feelings, experiences, abilities, ideals, hopes, drives, etc., and that contradictions and tension between them are inevitable.Through KT/DK, MHA has developed a beautiful narrative where strengthening oneself involves strengthening each other and broadening our understanding of who we are.

“There is a false saying: “How can someone who can’t save himself save others?” Supposing I have the key to your chains, why should your lock and my lock be the same?”

[anistarrose]

You added an "image description" to my post - now what? (FAQ)

[Plain text: "You added an 'image description' to my post - now what? (FAQ)". End PT.]

While I'm literally always willing to answer (good faith) questions about image descriptions, alt text, and online accessibility writ large, I also know lots of people have social anxiety about sending DMs, doing IDs "wrong," or just not knowing what IDs are for in the first place. Hence, this FAQ.

If I added an ID to your post and/or asked you to do so, and you're confused about any aspect of that, this is where to start. You can absolutely still reach out to me, I just thought I should consolidate as many answers as possible.

"What is an ID and why does it matter?"

IDs are a description of the content of an image, and can range from a transcript of a screenshot of text, to a description of a detailed piece of art. They should be in plain text, and placed on the line immediately following the image (unless it's alt text, more on those pros and cons later).

IDs are primarily for blind and low vision people who use screen readers to navigate the internet — but help others too, including lots of neurodivergent people. Check out this post (link) and the notes for more examples (dyslexics, migraine sufferers, people who can't interpret expressions, people with slow internet...)

IDs are important because without them, the Internet really sucks for people who need them. You probably don't realize how many undescribed images circulate on tumblr every day, with no way for a lot of disabled people to engage with those posts.

A blind person talks in more detail about all of this here (link).

"I reblogged your ID, is that enough?"

It's not that I don't appreciate it, but editing it into the root post and then reblogging that is much more impactful, for a variety of reasons. It means people who need IDs don't have to dig through the notes for them, it means that Tumblr can't glitch by failing to load the notes and make the ID functionally disappear, and it means all people who find the post in the tags or on your blog will be sharing the accessible version.

To explain visually, the best thing to do is something like this:

[ID: two mock-up Tumblr posts to illustrate adding an ID from the notes to the root post. A blog named "your-blog" posts an image of text reading "something cool you posted" with the caption "check out this cool image I made!" In the notes, the blog "image-describer" reblogs with an ID, which is highlighted. This version of the post is labeled: "original post, reblogged via ID writer."

The second version of the post is from "your-blog" again, where they've added the ID directly under the image, with the same caption below the ID. This version is labeled "updated root post, with ID copy-pasted. End ID.]

"My caption/commentary first, or ID first?"

Include the ID right under the image, followed by your caption or commentary. Unless you're putting your commentary before the image itself, a sighted person will see "image, commentary" in that order, so to ensure the post flows the same way, use the order "image, ID, commentary."

Commentary frequently assumes that the reader has seen the image, after all! A person might not even realize the image is described if the ID is buried too deep, because they might lose patience and skip the post. Or, to explain visually:

[ID: two mock-up example posts with an ID, one formatted well and one poorly. They both start with an image, which is just the text "screenshot of a tweet or something." The first post includes the ID immediately under the image. Below, it continues: "commentary blah blah blah get a load of this guy can you believe it." The post is labeled "Like this!" in green with a check mark.

The second post includes the commentary first, then the ID after the commentary. It's labeled: "Reads awkwardly, deprives screen reader users of immediate context" in red with an X. End ID.]

"I want to make a change to the ID, is that okay?"

Yep! If you want me to change it on my blog too (whether it's characters' pronouns, some typo, etc), just message me.

"What if someone else adds an ID to my post? Would they also be okay with me editing it into the original post like you are?"

Almost certainly! I can't speak for everyone, but I've literally never met an ID writer who wouldn't be okay with it — because we all have the shared goal of maximizing accessibility. If you're unsure or nervous, you can always include credit, but most people are even fine with going uncredited.

"I put your ID in the alt text, is that enough?"

I will never tell you not to use alt text when the alternative is an undescribed post, but I really strongly suggest putting it in both the alt text and the post. Some people who use screen readers prefer the flow of alt text, for good reason — but it's also poorly implemented on Tumblr, and it can glitch and disappear on reblogs, in drafts, or just apropos of nothing.

Moreover, when a low-vision person or anyone else wants to read the alt text directly, Tumblr's display options aren't great. (Unless you use XKit Rewritten's AccessKit, which I will always plug, but that's not an option for mobile users.) Long alt text often extends off the page and gets cut off. Tumblr used to use a terrible eye-straining purple background for it, and could always do that again with no warning. It's just not ideal.

Here's a visually impaired person talking more about the pros and cons (link).

It seems we're in need of a compromise, so what can you do? One option is to include the same alt text as image description (placing the ID directly under the image as always, because remember, flow for screen readers is important). I like to lead with "ID from alt," in order to clarify to screen reader users that they can skip the ID, and help differentiate it from the other option I'm about to describe. This should be self-explanatory, but here's an example of a post I did in this style (link).

Option two is to include a short description in the alt text, and a more detailed explanation in-post. This can let screen reader users instantly know that the post is described, and decide whether they're interested enough in it to stick with it, but it maintains an in-post description for others to benefit from too.

Example of me doing this in a post about IDs (link)

Example of my mutual describing art like this (link)

Also, it's the style I follow throughout this exact post! Take a look!

As usual, the ID is directly below the image in all these cases. This means screen readers move immediately from the alt text to the full description, and the post flows the same way it would for a sighted person.

If you're here because I wrote an ID for you, it might be easier for you to put it in the alt text and the post body identically, and that's perfectly fine! But if you're confident writing one short sentence for the alt text and including my ID in the body, you can always go for that too!

"Do I need to keep the brackets or the words 'image description/ID' in the alt text?"

Nope, no need. Brackets are purely for the visual distinction, and most screen readers preface alt text with something like "Image" that fulfills the same purpose as the "ID" label. It's not the end of the world if they're there, but it's redundant, so feel free to remove them.

"Can I put the ID under a read more? Or in small text?"

Please don't. Read mores are glitchy, and oftentimes have to be opened in a new tab. Accessibility that requires jumping through extra hoops isn't accessibility. And worse, if you change your URL or get deactivated, that read more link is usually just gone for good, and the post is undescribed again.

Meanwhile, small text, italics, colored text, and so on aren't good for low vision people or others who read the IDs directly — such as with increased font size — for whatever reason. If you want the ID to stand out visually even more than with brackets, an indent is fine as far as I know. And remember, IDs always go immediately below the image!

"Why do you sometimes copy italics and stuff as plain text? Is that a screen reader thing too?"

Same reason IDs shouldn't be in small text, italics, etc — because of sight readers with low vision. Font in weird styles, or in a fixed size regardless of device settings (to my knowledge, this includes headings) isn't very accessible, so I try to provide an accessible transcript.

Colored text is sometimes even inaccessible to sighted people using certain Tumblr themes! If Tumblr gave individual users the option to disable small text and colors on their dash, then I'd tell you to use them to your heart's content, but as it stands, they're not very accessible.

"Okay, I want to make my blog more accessible, but I don't feel capable of writing IDs on my own. How can I get help?"

Good news, this is my absolute favorite question! I strongly recommend the People's Accessibility Discord (invite link here, please let me know if it breaks).

It was created for this exact purpose of crowdsourcing IDs (and answering questions about them). I talk about it more in this post (link), where I also describe an alternative if you're like me and have massive social anxieties about Discord servers.

TL;DR: ask in the post if someone can add an image description, and edit it in once someone does! If you've read this far in the post, you're clearly an expert on how to do that.

In that post, I also recommend OnlineOCR (link) and Google Lens to extract text from images and save you typing if it's just a twitter thread or something. I would always spot check the text, adjust formatting, and remove superfluous characters, but it usually saves you lots of time when you might not normally have the energy to describe something.

Lastly, a lot of description blogs take requests! I don't unless I specify otherwise, because I easily run out of spoons, but @accessible-art is a great example of a blog that does this for non-fandom art, and there are lots of fandom blogs out there that do similar.

"I want to learn how to write image descriptions for my posts! Do you have any resources?"

This is my image description masterpost (link). I get a little scared about linking it because it's long, and a lot of the linked posts are long, and I don't want to overwhelm people — so please, start with the first few links to get the broad strokes, and then feel free to treat the rest like a index. That is, peruse it if you're looking for answers or advice on a specific topic!

While learning, keep in mind that different ID users want different things out of IDs, and that's okay. Some people, including many blind people, care quite a bit about color, but others don't, and that doesn't mean either is wrong about the types of IDs they prefer versus ones they find unnecessary.

Blind people have a massive range of lived experiences, and all the other people who benefit from IDs broaden that range even more. Generally, no one involved wants huge walls of text, but some people prefer super-minimal IDs, while others prefer a nice handful of (relevant) details. It's stuff like the difference between "Two characters hugging in a cozy-looking house," versus "Two characters hugging with their eyes closed, both smiling. Their house looks cozy and cluttered, with warm lighting."

Neither of those is objectively wrong, and there will be people who prefer either. Nor is it wrong for you, the ID writer, to make a subjective judgement, such as on the "cozy" mood. You don't want to misrepresent things, but subjectivity is usually unavoidable on some level, and therefore fine. Likewise, you don't want to let the ID get so long it's a slog to get through (here's an example of what NOT to do), but if you're describing a complicated image like some art might be, it's okay to add some details. Just start with the important stuff and general idea first.

The purpose of an image also matters. With memes, shorter is almost always better, and excessive detail is annoying (post with examples). You don't need in-depth detail to appreciate most quick jokes. But on the other hand, art is often shared for the purpose of appreciating the details. This post goes into detail about how context matters, and how longer IDs make sense for art sometimes. It puts it better than I could, so I really suggest reading it if this is something you're wondering about! Key word: not length, not brevity, but "relevancy."

In my opinion, IDs are easiest to learn by doing, but also by starting small. If you want to build up your "description muscles" and confidence by just transcribing tweets, that's perfectly fine — and also, the path that myself and a lot of people I know have followed.

Lastly: follow some described blogs! Check out how other people do it! Writing IDs is an art, and though it has a few hard do's and don't's we've gone over, we've also gone over how it's subjective. Everyone brings a slightly different style, with a different level of lengthiness, and it's great to learn from multiple sources. Here's one list of blogs like those (link)!

"Why would this matter if I know I don't have any blind people following me?"

Consider the cycle of inaccessibility (link). If no one ever accommodates blind people, then of course you're not going to see them on Tumblr, in fandom, or in whatever internet circles! And blind people aren't the only people who need image descriptions — again, consider this post, especially this addition (link).

Worst case scenario, even if you have no one who can benefit from IDs either following you, and no people who need IDs would follow you even if you included them, you're still helping people who do maintain accessible blogs to do so — and moreover, normalizing image descriptions in general.

"I don't think blind people would be in this fandom. I mean, there's a huge visual component!"

Described comics and webcomics exist. Audio descriptions for TV shows and movies exist. Disabled people who find creative ways to play video games exist. People who watched a playthrough of a video game by a person who happened to read out the dialogue, and give descriptive commentary on the action, also exist. People who lose their vision over time, or gain other reasons to rely on IDs over time, also exist.

[atticustimestwo]

do you mind sharing a bit more about your analysis of heart,,,

i'd love to!! (i assume this is about the heart critique piece i did a few months ago, but please correct me if im wrong!)

in terms of the "a critique on the treatment of hearts characterization" piece, i wanted to visually explore some frustrations i have had with how the fanbase seems to fall into some unfortunate patterns when it comes to hearts character.

frequently, i see heart infantilized - this either comes across as him being a kicked dog unable to help himself because he is too weak, a baby angel who did nothing wrong, or a feral gremlin child. i think flattening his character down to any/all of these is, for lack of a better word, a bit problematic?

; one reason being it just defeats the idea of emotions being a visceral, intense thing. heart is meant to represent emotion in its purest form; i feel woobifying him takes away from that concept because it shows having emotions as being inherently weaker or less mature. i think a lot of people kinda forget HMS aren't just tv show characters. they represent greater concepts that near everyone feels and feels uniquely - theyre more sensitive than your typical character. thats not saying treating them as characters is bad! everyone relates to them differently because they are so personal, they make them their own and i think thats really awesome!! ; but boiling them down to these really generic tropes and making heart a baby kinda defeats the idea that emotions are a real, visceral, multifaceted concept. ; another reason i think it can be problematic is that it sometimes unintentionally comes across really ableist? a lot of these 'fandom-y' tropes are already rooted in ableism in some way, which is bad on its own, but theres also the important addition that heart is frequently portrayed as blind.

ive seen people time and time again fall into stereotypes with heart that his blindness makes him weak/helpless/childish. truthfully I dont think people do this intentionally, but its still internalized ableism showing up. i recognize that a lot of the people who woobify heart tend to be on the younger side, so they dont really recognize that theyre flattening him down like that- not out of malicious ignorance, but because theyre kids who havent really had the life experience yet to grasp the full concepts of the album or realize they might be implying harmful stereotypes; that doesn't necessarily mean its okay, but i think its just them being uneducated cause theyre kids and they have yet to learn that stuff. ; all that being said, im not trying to police people on how they portray characters. im not any authority on this fandom/album by any means imaginable - im just a fan like everyone else here! like i said before, characterizing HMS is not inherently a bad thing at all ! its fun, and its what this fanbase is built on in the first place! its so great that everyone can interpret and relate to HMS so personally, i think chonny really hit it off with the concept for the album and the execution is stellar! seeing all the fanart and different interpretations of it and the characters is such a beautiful thing, no matter if its joking, lighthearted, or deep! ; at the end of the day, theres no wrong way to interpret this album, and theres no wrong way to characterize heart. more than anything that critique piece was built up frustration turned to a call to action for people to stop and think deeply for a moment about how they portray heart - to open eyes if someone might be unknowingly flattening or adding problematic ideas to their characterizations. and to just be mindful of that going forward! 💜 

[sorcerersandskillusers]

Why Mafia Dazai covers his right eye.

Ive been curious for a really long time as to why Dazai always keeps his right eye covered before he leaves the mafia, and the answer i keep seeing really doesn't feel right to me

Most people seem to think that Dazai covers his right eye because it is blind/impaired, they also say that light can disorient him even though he can't see out of it.

This is a real thing that can happen with eye conditions and could absolutely have been the reason if not for how its framed thematically.

When Oda pulls off Dazai's bandages it symbolises him opening Dazais eyes to the idea of doing good and giving him a reason to keep living.

Its so weird to think that Oda was saying, "I want you to hide your disability and be uncomfortable and disoriented from now on." and I don't think Dazai would interpreted it like that either.

Its also important that Dazai never puts them back on, after Oda dies he never covers his eye again.

My theory is that Dazai covers his eye for the same reason Chuuya kept his hands in his pockets. self sabotage.

Dazai has frequently said he was bored with life, trying to find excitement and through that, find a reason to live. to do that he tried to find something that surpassed his expectations and truly thrilled him. to do this he handicapped himself in a way that would make him much less effective as a opponent.

he can't see out of right eye which will effect his aim with a gun, his ability to detect ambushes, his ability to observe his environment ect... we even see this affect happen since he's almost always injured on his right side.

H finally stops wearing them when he's giving an actual motivation, (Save the weak, protect the orphaned) and he has a actual reason to put his full effort into something.

Sorry this post was a bit of a mess, I just keep thinking about it, its such good symbolism.

[miirshroom]

Farseer and Tawny Man Trilogies

Thinking about the Magics

Finished re-reading Fool's Fate and appreciating how the chain of cause and effect is handled in this series. FitzChivalry is a mess of a person who swings wildly between making pragmatic decisions and irrational decisions as a consequence of everything that was done to him, and his clashing poorly-trained mental magical abilities. He's self aware enough to be introspective about agonizing over the choices made or not made and the sum of life experience and mistakes that make up the whole of a person. But since the accounting is written from his own perspective it's hard to tell sometimes if his bias is giving himself more or less grace than he deserves.

It's also interesting how the Tawny Man trilogy brings into sharper focus that mind magic is a kind of neuro-divergency. Like, because of these magical senses Fitz literally sees the world in different ways from other people, ways which he is constantly having to mask and which makes him unpredictable and distant even from most of his friends and allies because they can't follow his internal logic. And this is another layer on top of all the other physical and mental trauma.

The Effect of the Skill on the Mind

How could the Skill not be tied to mental reasoning, considering that it allows the user to rummage around inside the minds of other people? The Skill can be used to know a person on an impossible level that is beyond such imprecise things as words. It can be used to walk outside of a person's own body and step into the life of another person with the sensitivity, as a passive rider or active force. However that is only of practical use between Skill users, who are still just as fallible when interpreting the experience into words that non-Skill users can understand. The Skill has many fantastical and horrifying uses, but for practicality the choice of the Skill coterie through Fool's Fate is to generally limit its use to a private and long-distance communication channel - using the skill like a magical phone line in favour of exploring the abstract connectivity of the Skill current, Thick's music, or Nettle's dreamscapes.

The friendship and frustration between Fitz and Thick throughout Golden Fool and Fool's Fate is part of developing this theme - in some ways Thick is a more extreme version of Fitz. Thick has powerful mental abilities, but what non-magical people see first are the differences in his outwards appearance and his power with the Skill is linked to a fundamental difference in how his mind works. He is an inconvenience and would have been more easily disposed of similar to the way that Queen Desire wanted Fitz the Bastard killed as a visible reminder of the abdicated Prince Chivalry. Instead, Thick is won over with patience and gentle encouragement, despite Fitz struggling over his internalized cultural biases against people with physical and mental disabilities, and the way that other less tolerant people disparage him by proxy of his caring for Thick. He's not perfect, but it's a conscious effort to do better than the previous generation.

Chade mentions early in Assassin's Apprentice that Fitz has some strange blind spots, and deep into Fool's Fate Chade is still frequently perplexed by how the boy that he trained can have such disagreeing opinions. Their minds just don't work the same way. On one level it's that Chade doesn't have the same trauma - he learned and used his assassin's trade in a time of relative peace and his own status was as illegitimate brother to a King-in-Waiting close in age to himself, compared to Fitz being brought at a younger age and to a more volatile court. And on the other level, Chade has no experience with the Wit and his desire for the Skill blinds him to the drawbacks. Chade thinks of the Skill as a tool for use of the King and struggles to understand it as a thing that can become an addictive obsession or break a mind in other ways. He tolerates the Wit, but doesn't really understand that it is the supernatural sense of connection between people that keeps Fitz loyal to the Farseers, despite Fitz having different opinions about what specific actions would be best for the collective survival.

Overall the use of the Skill has done MORE damage to Fitz than the Wit, as it was through the Skill that he partially forged away some of his emotions.

Regal, Why are you Like This?

And then there is Regal. In counterpoint to the characters who are born with magical abilities and learn to handle both advantages and drawbacks, Regal was not educated in his weak Skill ability. He was handed a Skill coterie formed of members who had great potential once, but were mentally abused and weakened until they would accept being used by a parasite with no trained ability of his own.

Regal is a product of his environment as much as Fitz - his name means "suitable to be a king" and he was influenced by his mother "Desire" to believe that his claim to being king was better than either of his older brothers. He had the mentorship of his King father "Shrewd" who employed spies and assassins and underhanded techniques in general to achieve political goals. And so Regal learned paranoia when his mother died and also endeavored to be shrewd and use subterfuge to undermine his older brothers. He clung to the idea that his mother was poisoned in a denial of the truth that led to him falling into the same recreational drug habits that had damaged her brain and judgement.

Regal's lack of self control combined with egotistical need to be in control of other people and accumulate power and luxury by any means necessary is stronger than his bonds to family or duty to the people of his country. He is as arrogant as the stone dragons that he covets and the real dragons that are presently absent from the world - all products of the Skill and associated with ideas of immortality. Regal despises users of the Wit magic who are much maligned but essentially just have supernatural awareness of what it is to be a living, reproducing, and dying organism.

Also the irony: last time the Farseer line went seeking the aid of the Elderlings against Raiders was in the time of King Wisdom. Who obviously had the Wit magic, or had someone loyal to him that had it. The stone dragons are awoken by combined use of the Skill and the Wit and Blood. King Shrewd asked Regal once what he would make of Fitz, and Regal made Fitz his enemy. The one living Farseer who has the Wit magic and could have woken the dragons in the service of any King who treated him kindly.

The Piebalds and the Wit Magic

The Old Blood have a fairly codified set of traditions in their sub-society, and both Burrich and Fitz are outsiders to them. The traditions were designed to keep them as invisible as possible for fear of persecution, but no matter how well-intentioned the idea it only takes a few rogue agents to set off fear of the Witted again. Burrich's grandmother was a former slave in Chalced - how likely that the Old Blood comes from her part of the family but her knowledge of how to use it responsibly was lost upon being disconnected from her culture and enslaved? Burrich had no community to teach him and re-created from tales the Witted magic that can heal a body and bring a person back from the dead - the exact kind of thing that the Old Blood's don't practice because it's the part of the magic that drives people to such fear that they hang, quarter, and burn the bodies of the Witted.

The Piebalds are inspired by the Witted Bastard because he does with the Wit the things that they were taught not to do. Through Royal Assassin and Assassin's Quest Nighteyes learns too much of being human, fights alongside his partner for human causes, and does not live as a wild creature should. Fitz bonds far too closely with his wolf - close enough to hold his mind while his body is dead. Fitz breaks the rules of the Old Blood society, and it keeps him alive. The Old Blood folk experienced new rounds of persecution started by Regal and continuing in the years after as a consequence of Fitz breaking those rules. And so in response the Piebalds use the same techniques as Fitz - most notably with Peladine and Laudwine escaping into their Wit beasts when their human bodies die.

The persecution of the Wit Magic seems to combine ethnic discrimination with the traditions of witchcraft and werewolf stories. Fitz points out to hedge witch Jinna that it could just as easily be her craft that is seen as dangerous and evil. To say that just because a man is bonded to a beast means that he must have nefarious purpose is little different from accusing anyone with an extensive knowledge of herbs of being a poisoner. Fitz just happens to be both Witted and poisoner, and even when it is the assassin training that makes him an effective killer his acts are blamed on being Witted just because that's the part of his identity that is more openly known.

The Relationship between Fitz and Beloved

And the last of my hot takes* is that the expression of Fitz's Wit magic puts a wrench in the subtext reading of a sexual relationship between Fitz and the Fool. It is constantly emphasized by Nighteyes that the Fool is the "Scentless One" and no Wit presence - meaning that Fitz gets no pheromones and thus no attraction that way. The women who sleep with Fitz are described by scent to varying degrees depending on his attraction. Even the Pale Woman is described as having a scent (although an artificial one) when she is trying seduction. Instead, Fitz and the Fool have a Skill link and it is through the Skill that their relationship is expressed. This kindof seems to be the deal with all Skill Coteries - close groups of comrades who become dragons together forever. Overall, Fitz and Beloved have an aesthetic and intellectual attachment to each other, which seems like the ideal of philia love friendship - different from erotic love.

Neither Fitz or the Fool are faultless for the way that their relationship deteriorated in Golden Fool. Fitz being uncomfortable with the social stigma of homosexuality does have an impact, but the greater problem is the breakdown of communication.

The Fool struggles with speaking plainly. This has always been the cases since his fondness for riddles in Assassin's Apprentice. Like, the nature of being a prophet is to know that certain things will be true in the future, so he is disconnected from humans who would prefer to have information laid out clearly for them in the present so that they can react and make informed decisions. And Fitz is both slow to pick up on social cues, and then views it as a betrayal of trust that his friend would lead people to make assumptions about the nature of their relationship without his knowledge or consent. He wants to put words to abstract concepts like the exact kind of relationship shared by two people. He did 3 books worth of writing in an attempt to put his thoughts about himself into words. What Fitz struggles with is the idea that words will be misinterpreted no matter how plainly or poetically they are said - people fill in gaps in understanding with their own beliefs and/or prejudices.

Fool's Errand begins with the Fool reading all of Fitz's accounts and thoughts that he put on paper, which I assume to be effectively an in-universe version of the text of the first trilogy. And then in further conversation Fitz opens up about everything that he has done for the past 15 years. But the Fool doesn't similarly discuss being Amber or carving the Liveship Paragon or the whole story of the dragons until forced by circumstance. It was an unbalanced relationship that was going to come to a breaking point sooner or later. But after airing out all the hurt and betrayal and secrets they did manage to mend things by the end of Fool's Fate.

*I haven't read the Fitz and the Fool trilogy other than some summaries. So, this is like 90% my impression as of the end of the Tawny Man Trilogy.

[bluegarners]

sometimes i have a hard time wrapping my head around the complexity of bruce's love versus his devotion versus his guilt/ego. now that all may sound entirely separate, but it works like this in my head...

see, because im always thinking about dick's observation that bruce would probably trade everything to get his parents back/prevent their deaths. granted, dick might have been uncharitable in that lens, but he is also one of the few people who reads bruce accurately and clearly. to that point, i would argue that, subconsciously at least, dick also recognizes that a part of bruce will always believe that he is at the center of everything- that bad things happen because of him. connecting all of that to every death bruce has witnessed to/been the indirect cause of/believes himself to have been able to stop some tragedy but wasn't able to/etc., i think within that seemingly not nice interpretation of bruce, we get the idea that bruce believes that had his parents survived that night, the world likely would have been a better place. batman would have never existed/there would have never been a need for batman to exist. in bruce's mind, i imagine that he can't picture a world where he is not batman, fighting the good fight, and therefore any world where there is no batman is a world that is a) much better off, and b) not fraught with death and tragedy caused by his hand

now, granted, this is an interpretation of my own viewing on how dick's observation and bruce's character throughout the years has evolved. i think bruce is an egotistical person, not in the sense that he thinks he is superior to everyone in the world, but that he believes that so much around him is a result of him. i believe bruce has a hard time separating himself from the lives of those around him, a kind of "everything i touch goes to ruin" idea that constantly floats around him- an idea that, more than once and rather frequently, does get proven to him, and, to an extent, people tell him. obviously, jason's narrative is brought to the forefront. anyone who has ever been connected to bruce wayne or batman has been connected to him via some kind of tragedy. a "what's the common denominator?" situation that can be hard to overlook and is definitely not one bruce overlooks

and going back to the love versus devotion versus guilt thing, bruce loves his people and his city so much. he loves the world and protects it because despite every bad thing in it, there is clear and abundant evidence of good. just as well, bruce is devoted to loving and protecting- it is what he believes he's best at, and without it, he would be little else. there was a time where bruce was more obvious with his love, in both physical and verbal confirmation, but i believe at this point it's generally agreed that bruce shows his love in an unconventional way- despite that, he still loves and loves greatly. however, that is where the guilt comes in. his midas touch for tragedy gets in the way of his love and devotion entirely

bruce feels guilty for loving, guilty for bringing people into his circle, guilty for being batman- a force that does as much good as it does reinforce the narrative that it's all cyclical. his inability to let go of his guilty conscious prevents him from 1) showing his love, 2) letting others love him, and 3) getting better. to me, bruce is always in this insistent circle of helping, loving, realizing, shunning, and disappearing that his devotion just goes to waste and is hardly recognizable outside of his bat insignia. what bruce is devoted to is people but it gets pushed aside in favor of batman so often because of his iron grip on the past, his guilt, and his constant fear of what's going to happen to the people around him because of him

which really discredits those people who choose to stick around and stay by his side. bruce loves so much and yet is so constantly blind to how people love him, and the result is this mess of a character that see-saws between this intense display of hard sacrifice and moral ground, and a simple man who's defining trait is the family he somehow built around himself

idk where i was going with this, but my summary is essentially he is sooooooooo annoying to write for and think about because a lot of what he does doesn't make sense or apply to his character, but at the same time it does which makes it harder to recognize when he is being genuine and when he is using something as a shield or weapon against another

[if-whats-new]

FAQ - (Frequently) Asked Questions

Do you have a question about the zine? Check below if we haven't answered it first before sending us an ask!

May be updated if needed.

About the Zine

Why the Zine? why A zine?

Because there is so much happening in the IF community, it is becoming increasingly difficult (if not impossible) to keep track of it all. So instead of checking a bunch of different website or servers for announcements, we hoped by compiling and centralizing all these news, it would make it easier for people to get reminders on updates of games they might enjoy or events they'd like to participate.

And zines look neat!

If short concentrated format is not for you, check out ChoiceBeat for in-depts reviews and articles, or The Rosebush (@the-rosebush-mag) for theory/criticism essays, or The Fortnightly Amare Bulletin (@amaregames) for Amare-specific news.

What's in the Zine? What can we expect?

All that IF good stuff! Mainly covering what happened the past week:

Events happening right now, from conferences to jams to competitions (registration, submission, voting, or just ended)

New games and demo released

Updates of projects

Game recommendations

And more! Essentially whatever we find!

We are also in the process of including more cool stuff, like short essays and interviews!

When is the next issue coming out?

Every Saturday, around 9-10 am EST. Unless something happened, then it might be a bit later. But you will be notified.

Where can I find the Zine?

On Tumblr (most pages* and transcription), and Itch.io (full viewable current + downloadable past). *omitted pages include table of contents or repeated from previous weeks

How do you make the Zine?

Google Drive to compiles notes, and Canva to make it all pretty. Also Notepad for the .txt transcription. And EZM Reader to make it "playable" on itch.

Why more than one (readable) format?

For the sake of accessibility, it was important for us to include multiple medium and venues to read the zine. This is partly the reason why What's New in IF? is viewable both here and on itch.io.

We loved the vibe of the visual template we chose, but we are the first to admit it is not the best: images can't be read by screen readers, links can't be clicked, and because they are so large they might not even fit a screen!

So we decided to have:

the OG ZINE format on itch.io, with flip-able pages because it looks cool!

a downloadable PDF with clickable links, to easily get to the content you want to check out.

a .txt file with just the text and the links because it is the most accessible format for devices (Noi insisted)

a transcribed version on Tumblr, easily share-able

We retired the image folder starting Issue 14, as it added nothing.

Why can't you add colors to make the zine pop?

Axelle is color-blind (achromatopsia), making color contrast difficult. To ensure it is both contrasted enough (in greyscale and color scale), pure black and white was the easiest option, and providing the most accessibility for any lambda readers. We've tested colors, and ended up with bright red on bright pink -> unreadable. Axelle: this is also why parsers are so cool to me, because I can set the interpreter to whatever contrast I want! but it's harder with choice/visual games...

About the Content

Can I submit something?

YES! PLEASE! WE'RE BEGGING YOU! 🙏

We know that we will miss stuff, even between the 4 of us, because we have in the past. Especially smaller projects not in our feeds or followed tags, or on platforms we don't really go to. And even during our weekly search, we will still miss major stuff!

So, if you know of a cool thing that was published, or update, or currently happening, let us know! A dm can change everything!

Are there things you don't accept?

Project without playable content, not even a demo. Otherwise, there would be way too many projects to keep up with for the zine.

Projects that violates copyright, like plagiarism or for-profit unlicensed

Projects that glorify themes of: LGBTQ+ phobic rhetoric, racism, religion phobic rhetoric, sexism, gratuitous sexual violence, fascism...

This list may change at any time, if we think it needs to.

Where I can send you news/games/other stuff?

There are multiple venues, for your convenience. You can:

Send us an ask (anonymous open)

Submit something (anonymous open)

Edit our Google Sheet (can be anonymous) <- preferred method

Post it on our itch.io page

And also:

You can fill in the form with our game recommendation!

What's the difference between recommended and submitted by?

In our Highlight on section, we share titles that we liked or were sent to us by other users. In the later case, some send us just the link, other send us a whole sentence about why they like it.

We call the first recommended (because we have to come up with a little bit of text for it) and the second is submitted (because we only have to copy-paste the submission). Granted, we haven't always stuck to the naming convention...

Hey! You didn't include [my/this] project! What gives?

Sorry, we probably didn't see it or maybe missed it! While we do our best to follow as many people and tags as we can, there's always some that falls through the cracks...

But if it's within the time range (posted/updated the week mentioned in the latest issue) and has at least a playable demo, throw us a link, so we can add it to the next issue!

If it's just outside that window, better submit the project as a recommendation!

You make a mistake here.

Thank you for letting us know! We'll try to correct it ASAP! And if it's too late, it will show up on the next issue!

Why do you promote old IF games (parser)? No one likes them!

Because we try our best to promote all types of Interactive Fiction, just like choice-based, links, or visual novels. Like any IF community, Tumblr and itch.io has both parser authors and players, so it makes sense parser games and events promoting parsers are included in the zine. If it weren't for Axelle, we probably wouldn't have known about them, and made the grave mistake of sidelining the form of IF that made what we have now possible!

About The Team

Who are you? Why haven't we heard of you before?

Marjorie, Erika, Axelle, and Noi. Just your run-of-the-mill IF readers and lovers. We talk a bit more about ourselves here [TBL]. But that is all you will learn about us!

What's your handle? I want to follow you.

No, thanks.

Are you authors too? What's the name of your projects?

Absolutely not. We're not good enough writers to have more than three coherent sentences together. We just want to play cool games and tell other people about those cool games.

Is it Axel or Axelle? Why can't you pick one? It's confusing.

It's Axelle. Just use that (I was named after this other Belgian Axelle). Please only use that name. Same with getting my pronouns right (surtout en Français!!).

If you're just lurkers... How did you get together as a group???

It wasn't actually IF that brought us together at first, but TTRPG. A Vampire the Masquerade one to be exact, with a friend looking for players. It was only after some chatting about other non-TTRPG stuff that we realized we all loved IF (different kinds of IF at first). And we've been sharing recs with each other, and thoughts, and rants.

Other questions

Do you have a Discord server?

No, and we don't plan on making one. The zine is already enough work for the 4 of us. And there are already plenty of IF-focused servers out there!

Do you have a Ko-Fi/Patreon/tipping jar/subscription?

No, and we don't plan to. The whole project is meant to be free forever for everyone. This will not change as long as we are working on this zine*. *If one day the zine mantle is passed to other members, they may change the stance on the tipping jar. But the zine will always stay free.

If you want to support the project, the best thing you can do is share it with other people. Throw the issue link in servers or dms, share on Forums or other social medium, reblog on Tumblr. If you really want to spend money on us, you could blaze the posts here. But we are better fueled by kind words and cheers! Kuddos are our motivations!

Another great way of supporting the zine, is to share any IF-related content you found (new games/demos, updates, events, articles...) or recommend us some neat hidden gems! This is honestly the best way to help us!

And, instead of spending coins on this free project, consider giving your money to actual cool organizations (like the IFTF), IF system programmers (Twine format creators), and game creators/authors!

~

Last updated: 16-July-2024

[stardustizuku]

sorry for using your inbox as a confessional im too scared to post in a tag where everyone knows each other. anyway the thing i think is most interesting about wilfried is how sylvester is characterized by his treatment of his failson. bc like the obvious answer after the ivory tower incident and at like eight other points in the story was to demote wilfried to an archnoble or to put him in the temple. bonifatius should have served as sylvester's very obvious example that like. an archducal family member can thrive and be better off if they're not forced into archducal competition beyond doing the training just in case everyone else dies. and ferdinand should have shown him that sometimes being put in the temple or otherwise demoted is better than being a target in noble society. especially once rozemyne shows up and hes repeatedly shown the ways the temple is improving and the importance of it to the duchy's functioning. and yet even in his conversation with bonifatius in i think book 5 hes so against it he would rather disown rozemyne. which you could interpret as him thinking that even if he understands all that that noble society will continue to target wilfried but it also implies that on some level sylvester did and maybe still does think that bonifatius and ferdinand have reached "bad ends", despite caring deeply for them and intellectually understanding that they are better off not being the aub. bc it's not like wilfried is completely incompetent, he's just terrible at politics. he's a skilled warrior and when he's not being coddled he's fully capable of buckling down and getting work done. but even though sylvester has been told exactly that by several people, after sylvester finally gives up on having wilfried be the unambiguous heir he's still very clearly trying to leave the path open for him when wilfried has obviously and repeatedly been shown to not have a talent or even really a desire for the position outside of not wanting to be a target and charlotte has been here the whole time. honestly sylvester's basically only done harm by reinforcing that him losing the seat WOULD be a bad thing instead of trying to improve conditions for non-candidate archducal family members if he's so worried about the fate of failsons. like idk i just think its interesting especially in light of the most recent chapter that sylvester certainly cares for rozemyne and doesn't want her to be forced into a position she doesn't want, but, like, he is still a noble, it's just that rozemyne is frequently sheltered from that fact because his interests and hers so frequently overlap. sylvester being a good guy who is still very much a noble is actually my favorite thing about him, way too often in isekai stories you get a prankster noble whose carelessness is played off as cute or funny even when it would have extremely real consequences, so having sylvester be a dude who clearly means well but is in no way immune from reinforcing systemic injustice even in his own family is very interesting. although i get why myne doesn't really clash with him over it, i do sometimes wish they kept the somewhat adversarial relationship they had in early aob and i hope that charlotte gets to conflict with sylvester more

Hi! Thank you for sharing! I was a bit busy and didn't notice the ask, but you make a great point.

Sylvester is a very well meaning guy, who sometimes (in an effort to avoid his children suffering) can be blindsided and ignore the truth.

In his case, regarding Rozemyne and Wilfred, he ignores them both in regards to what they want/need, in favor to what he believes they need.

Yes, he would rather Wilfred be the next aub and sorta of forces the position on him. But he also forces the idea of Rozemyne as his second hand, then wife, on her. He's genuinely trying to help, but he gets blinded by his own past. For a very, very long time he saw himself in Wilfred, and Ferdinand in Rozemyne.

But, even when Wilfred explicitly said he did not want it - the reason why Sylvester didn't accept him relinquishing the position was actually Rozemyne herself.

I can assume it was a huge blow, since granting Wilfred his wish would mean making Rozemyne (a commoner) into an Aub and he couldn't bring himself to do that, for various reasons. He knows Ferdinand would not allow it, it would cause problems with Florencia, and more importantly: Rozemyne herself would hate it. Sylvester actually does care for Rozemyne, in the few ways he can allow himself to care.

He knows that Rozemyne wants nothing to do with politics. She wants to make books and hang out in the temple and with commoners. At that point, keeping them together was not to give Wilfred "what he wanted", but to KEEP Rozemyne and give her what she wanted (and what he duchy needed).

Sylvester is truly a unique interesting case, because he's well-meaning, but messes up sometimes. No one can be sure if his actions are 100% correct, or if it was the best option. But nevertheless, he does try to clean up after the messes he causes, and protect his people.

[thygoddessouijathicc]

Interpreting all the DSAF characters personalities and motivations because I’m bored

I will only be interpreting Flipside squad characters as well as Henry but if this gets enough attention I might come back and do the DSAF side characters.

Spoilers for everything and if you have different interpretations please do share <:

Jack

I had to of course start with my all time favourite character and the main character of the series. Jack is a character so frequently misinterpreted that I jump for joy whenever I see a fanfic who portrays him with any degree of faithfulness to his personality.

As Doggo himself has said Jack is very childish, and we see this ingame. Yes, while often Dave is far more childish and wacky Jack can be just as chaotic and manic from time to time. He’s shown to be immature but capable of realizing the consequences of his actions and growing from them.

Jack is frequently portrayed as a tsundere which is simply not the case. While Jack is as stated by Doggo himself bad at expressing his feelings leading to him bottling them up, as well as being described as a man who doesn’t take shit from anyone, Jack is at no point mean to people he loves to deny that he loves them, he just isn’t good at saying that he does. Jack doesn’t lie about his feelings, he just doesn’t express them.

He’s also not soft as he’s frequently portrayed as, and is very capable of being able to take care of himself, as immature as he is. He doesn’t take shit, he fights his own battles, and he tells people off when needed.

He rarely has his own autonomy ingame as most routes have him following other characters but we still get a feel for his motives in each one although since he varies so fucking wildly from saving all the souls and putting Freddy’s to rest, to having fun and doing drugs, to running a business to just having a thirst for blood I can’t declare definitively what motivates Jack.

Dave

After the Tangerine himself I had to of course talk about the fan favourite secondary protagonist of the third game in the main routes, Dave Miller aka William Afton.

Dave is a pretty clear cut character shockingly. It’s not difficult to understand him. Dave is a manic, chaotic neutral/evil sociopath who acts the way he does due to being raised by Henry who we know from a thing written by Doggo in which he hits a presumably adult Dave with a wrench to be abusive. The abuse, brain damage, and encouragement of negative behaviours led Dave to become what he is in the games.

Dave is highly codependent and once he forms an attachment to a person it’s unbelievably hard if not impossible to sever this attachment, which is notably true because when Jack won’t help him he always defaults to being an enemy in an attempt to maintain the relationship in a weird way. Flipside Dave is codependent as well as Davetrap, but Flipside Dave is far less so and is very capable of severing attachments to people he no longer wants to associate with. The attachments he forms can be platonic or romantic, platonic with Henry, romantic with Jack although they both fill similar roles for him.

Dave is also incredibly stupid and easily manipulated which is why he’s as redeemable as he is as we know for a fact that unlike the FNAF William Afton and even some other characters in DSAF who kill, Dave genuinely didn’t understand the gravity of the situation. He’s a character who is endlessly loyal to those he bonds with even if they treat him badly or make him do things he doesn’t want to. Flipside Dave is again not quite as bad in this regard but he still is pretty bad and maintains for a lot of the plot that Henry isn’t evil. Dave thought the kids he killed would be happier dead and never questioned it due to his endless loyalty to Henry.

He is still however responsible for what he did because it was to a degree willful blindness. Dave didn’t want Henry to be the bad guy so he ignored any indication that he was. Regardless of how much Henry is the problem Dave still actively refused to question his orders. Something we do in fact know he could have done because he did at one point blow up and question Henry after killing Dee because Henry’s reasoning wasn’t quite as on point as for the previous kills. However it still took Dave two children dying to notice killing children to make them happy and make animatronics more lifelike doesn’t really make sense when honestly killing children bad should just be a given. However Dave does redeem himself for what he did and it can be argued his willful blindness wasn’t entirely willful because Henry removed parts of his brain to make him more loyal. While I don’t think brain damage excuses serial child murder Dave’s crimes can be looked past due to his redemption, Henry’s character, and the fact he was taken in at a young age by an incredibly manipulative character.

To briefly touch upon his stalking and obsessiveness it’s a feature of his character that is very much explained. Henry frequently watched him on cameras, and used him as a tool so Dave would see stalking Jack as a normal expression of love, and would also not see the issue with letting Jack take the fall for his actions because Henry would do the same thing and that must be normal. It’s still not ok, but once again, Flipside Dave isn’t quite as bad and the relationship is clearly not one sided. In addition Flipside Dave redeems himself and if given the opportunity, likely would not continue this. He does these things because he thinks they are normal and would likely stop if given enough context to know they aren’t.

As for motivations, Dave has some pretty depressing ones actually. At his core, Dave just wants someone to care about him and is willing to do anything to make that happen. He doesn’t care if this is positive or negative attention as he’s very much willing to fill an enemy role for the same purpose. Everything he does in the story is for someone else, usually Henry. He tries to keep Henry’s dream alive without even actually knowing what it was, only knowing what Henry acted like it was. Dave spent his childhood alone and once he met Henry he was groomed to be incredibly codependent so when left isolated he struggles. The only ways he seems to manage isolation seem to be through chasing serotonin via his many crimes and vegas, acting for someone else, or telling himself that there is someone who cares about him who will come back for him, for instance Davetrap waiting 30 years for Jack to return for him.

Dee

You may or may not know this but Dee is probably my third favourite character after Dave and Jack, and the most clear cut one left so she’s next.

We objectively do not know as much about Dee as we do the other characters, most of what we know coming from other characters and her appearance in the third game unlike with Dave and Jack who are in every game prominently and the phone guys who each have their own game in which they impact every route.

From what we do know of Dee’s personality is that like her brother, she doesn’t take any shit. Dee says what’s on her mind and doesn’t care how it affects others which you have to respect. She’s shown to definitely have a degree of sass to her, but more than that it comes off more as a frustration. While her jokes and attitude are just that, jokes and attitude, they actually do tend to tell a different story when read the right way. Dee is angry about how things turned out for her, probably the second most angry of all the characters. The most angry being Blackjack.

Dee died incredibly young and then directly after her horrible death she was pushed into a position in which she was responsible for helping others who died. She was still, as I’ve said, just a child with no idea how to handle this. Dee was then forced to mature incredibly quickly, and as we know from Jack, the dead don’t mentally mature, so Dee actually does still have the mind of a child, but takes in the personality and responsibilities of an adult, which is an aspect of her character I wish was more explored but I know couldn’t have been ingame because when exactly would it have been?

Dee was also not raised by adults, she was raised by her older brothers who even if Peter was an adult at the time, he was a young one and definitely not in a place to take care of a baby. It’s likely that even before her death Dee had to mature quickly because they all did, but definitely not to the same degree before her death.

Dee and Dave have a strange dynamic, she most definitely hated him for most of the series but was open to being proven wrong about him when she found out about his past and that he was manipulated by Henry. Their relationship is more of a sibling rivalry by the end.

As for her motivations, Dee is motivated by anger and justice. She’s angry about what happened to her and the other children, fuelled by rage for her killers, she set her goals as stopping the killings and freeing the souls. Although as benevolent as this may seem, I do think there is a point to which it’s more about her own suffering and her own justice than it is about the other children’s. Still, she’s a better protector than Fredbear because she does something about the situation rather than waiting until it’s too late.

Peter

Ok I’ll come out and say it, I don’t remember the DSAF 2 Peter routes as well as I remember the rest of the game series, so this particular section may be subject to change, however I do think I have enough of a grasp on his character to write an essay.

Peter is the oldest of the three Kennedy siblings and yet another contender for “who has it the worst in the games” the answer of course being either everyone or Jack depending on how you see the third games good ending. Peter spends most of his time in his debut game brainwashed into thinking he’s Scott.

He spends that game living in a state of confusion as he’s getting dreams with his own past memories, particularly of his beloved wife Caroline. He deep down knows he is Peter but isn’t quite sure and has been told he isn’t. Depending on the ending you can either save or kill him or simply get close to saving him but not actually manage it and have him be killed by the factory.

Peter is far less of a coward than his predecessor Steven, willing to directly attempt to take down the infamous kiddie strangler and in the true ending succeeding. While he never fully recovers all his memory he recovers enough to return home to his wife. In the bad route we see even more of Peter being a fucking badass with his speech to Jack before firing him. Peter tells Jack to cut the shit, calls him out on everything he’s done, correctly guesses his lack of a soul, and goes on to talk about the true situation with the dead kids being that they are really dead kids with families mourning them. Peter is unable to help these families and it eats away at him, he has to carry the burden of the deaths while watching Dave and Jack get away Scott free. He then proceeds to break his own code for the sole purpose of telling Jack to fuck off.

As for his backstory, we don’t know quite as much about alive Peter as we do phone guy Peter. We can however infer from context that Peter was forced to take on a parental role at an age he was not fit for parenthood causing him to not mature properly, once he met Caroline he left Jack to take care of a still quite young Dee all on his own which is understandable since he was starting his own family and surely thought Jack could handle it, but he didn’t take into consideration that Jack actually couldn’t, which led to Dee’s eventual death because Jack was not an equipped caretaker and left her unattended which isn’t anyones fault truly but Henry’s because if he had left her at a place besides Fredbear’s she wouldn’t have been kidnapped and subsequently killed.

Peter’s motivating force is curiosity for who he is as well as a sense of justice like his sister. He spends most of his time trying to rediscover himself after being brainwashed into being a slave for Freddy’s, however unlike Steven he doesn’t just play by the Freddy’s code and actually makes attempts to stop the killings and refuses to send employees to the factory instead insisting on proper burials as he knows it’s not right. He has a strong sense of morality which motivates his actions to end the killings but his primary motivator is still to find out who he is.

Steven

Steven is a tragic character, in most series other than DSAF he would be one of the most tragic, however in DSAF where everyone is pretty equally fucked he’s around the same level.

Steven is a first generation phone guy, which means he has little to no recollection of who he is, all he knows being how he died and his name. Steven died standing up to Henry which is objectively one of the bravest things he’s done in the series, in fact, one of the braver things you can do in the series, however beyond that, Steven is a coward. And that’s not even against him, I love Steven, it’s simply a very central part of his character.

Steven has shown he’s willing to throw anyone and everyone under the bus for his own survival which is understandable knowing he’ll be killed if his business goes under as he has a psychotic purple himbo trying to make his business go under who he unfortunately can’t accuse of this crime because of fear so he has to settle on the new employee. That’s not to say that trying to pin everything on Jack was a moral decision, but given the corner Steven was backed into it was practically the only one he could have made. We do know he could have gotten Dave arrested because you can get him to get Dave arrested by calling in a favour, but he likely was only willing to do this because in this context if he did he has Jack as an ally and thus is less likely to get murdered by Dave.

Steven also doesn’t seem to care very much about the murders, which is a little less excusable than his throwing Jack under the bus because Steven is very willing to just let the murders go unsolved and seems to care absolutely not at all about it. Steven doesn’t care much about death in general actually unless it’s his own. He’s more than willing to kill Jack for the stupidest reasons, he was the guy who sent Peter to the factory so we know he doesn’t care what happens to people who end up there, and honestly I can’t blame him.

As I’ve said before Steven was put in an incredibly bad situation where he knows he’ll die if he steps out of line, accuses Dave, or let’s his emotions control him in any way. Thus he’s willing to kill or frame Jack as long as it keeps his business going, he’ll frame anyone for the murders as long as he doesn’t think they’re a threat to him (thus why he doesn’t accuse Matt, Matt is a threat to everyone), and he doesn’t care about the deaths because he’s caught up trying to prevent his own.

Steven in the Flipside continues this pattern of survival at all costs despite actually being dead. He has others fight for him and runs from his issues until he can’t anymore at which point he tries to fight. After joining the squad he changes his tune slightly deciding he does care about what he did and wants to be saved.

As for motivation, as said, Steven is motivated by an overwhelming urge to survive. He’s put in a position where one wrong move could have him dead and behaves as such, putting himself first and ignoring all others out of not just selfishness, but desperation. Everything Steven does is because if he didn’t he be killed and thus he’s not just a “bad boss” he’s a bad boss who wouldn’t be quite as bad if he weren’t stuck between an Aubergine and a Factory.

Blackjack

There isn’t much to be said about Blackjack, people say he’s underrated and while I agree he has his strong points, Blackjack is easily the weakest member of the main cast, and not in personality or lore as always he’s an intensely interesting character because Doggo is amazing, rather because Blackjack simply doesn’t get enough screen time to be a full character, he doesn’t get an arch because he can’t. Blackjack is introduced at the very end of the third game right before the conclusion of the final battle after which he doesn’t have a single line of dialogue, so he’s underrated yes, he’s a good character, but I think his being underrated is kind of fair. We didn’t get to know him very well. It’s incredibly hard to introduce a character so late into the story and have them be popular, because everyone is already so attached to the other characters and the new one doesn’t have time to be established.

As for his character he’s kind of full of himself which is interesting in its own way but is again a bit of a weak point because he acts like he should have an arch but he doesn’t. He treats the other characters kind of like tools going as far as to basically call them freaks and want to use their trauma and emotional turmoil as punishment for Henry. You can understand why he’s this way of course, he was murdered and is processing it. However everyone was murdered and so he comes off a little whiney given that absolutely none of them made as big of a deal of it.

His backstory is just Jack’s backstory with the addition of turning into a dog and doing more than Fredbear ever could with locking Henry in the void. However due to his rage and selfishness Blackjack decides not to kill Henry, and instead to torture him while letting him grow in power by accident. He’s eventually convinced to kill Henry but he should have done it a long time ago.

As for motives, Blackjack is motivated like Dee by anger and justice, but it’s far more clearly selfish. I wish we got a moment at the end with Blackjack apologizing for everything, particularly his behaviour towards Jack but we didn’t and that’s fine honestly. He’s a flawed character who takes out his rage on Henry believing himself to be worthy of dispensing justice to all who wrong him.

Henry

The man himself Henry, the one who caused every single bad thing to happen in the entire series, he’s actually a very interesting villain who while he isn’t physically present for most of the series his impact is very felt and from what we see of him he immediately became the most hated character.

Henry is as evil as they come, this is without question. At every opportunity in the series he does whatever hurts the most people. He’s someone you love to hate. Henry is far more than simply evil. He’s cruel, psychopathic, manipulative, abusive, delusional, and far more, and it’s goddamn interesting.

Henry is like the other characters in the sense that his backstory explains exactly why he is how he is. Henry is a man abused as a child, who grew up to become a Machiavellian member of the military, and then lost his wife and child somehow. Henry experienced nothing but death and suffering his whole life and sought to end death entirely out of his own fear and potentially to bring back his wife and child. We do know he cared about them because of how mad he was at Dave for taking his son’s name. Despite all his suffering however Henry has done so much worse than what was done to him.

In his pursuit of his goal of beating death Henry murdered countless innocents, mostly children, as well as manipulating Dave into becoming a serial killer by basically grooming him into codependency, telling him he would be doing something good, and messing with his mind as well as very likely putting Dave in a situation where he felt he couldn’t question Henry’s authority, he then springlocked Jack, Steven, and if I recall Peter, allowing them to die in agony without even putting them out of their misery, and capped it all off with showing absolutely no remorse. These actions tell ten story of a man who doesn’t care who he hurts to get what he wants. Henry sees what he’s doing as for a good cause and thus it doesn’t matter if he does something bad because more good comes out of it in the end. He has a utilitarian view of the world seeing others as a means to an end.

As for motives, Henry is motivated by fear, selfishness, and narcissism. He’s afraid to die, afraid of the unknown, and will do anything to escape fate, in a similar way to Steven he just wants to survive, but Steven only did what he had to, Henry hurt people he didn’t need to at all, and dragged on others suffering in ways he absolutely did not have to do. Henry is a horrible narcissist who sees himself as the protagonist of the story with the cards all stacked up against him, when really, he’s the one who stacked the cards in the first place, and is just suffering the consequences.

[mable-stitchpunk]

Could we get descriptions of the human characters, any original designs, and any differences the animatronics have from canon designs in Home and when any appearances may have changed throughout the story? I wanna draw some events from the books but I'm kinda blind to character descriptions in stories unfortunately.

Sure thing!

Mike stands about average height and is of athletic build. Like, not ripped, but he runs regularly and stays in shape almost getting himself killed all the time. He has sharp, blue eyes and black hair that's usually styled to look a little unkept. He has a mild tanned skin tone.

Jeremy stands slightly shorter than Mike and also has blue eyes, and almost always is seen wearing his glasses. His hair is blond and goes to about his neck. He has a pale skin tone and his features are a bit more softer.

Fritz stands a couple inches taller than Mike and Jeremy. He has brunette hair that's kept short, brown eyes, and usually keeps some stubble on his chin. He has a darker skin tone from Mike- I suppose dark tan is sort of the best way to describe it. Mature but friendly features. Dips from having "worked all night" rings under his eyes to a "slept fine" lack of them, and back and forth.

Natalie looks pretty much exactly like Vanessa. I don't know how that ended up happening, but it did. 👀

Initially, Scott's physical description was kept majorly up to interpretation for the reader, but since then he's sort of turned into a brunette with hazel eyes. He has visible but faded scars on his cheeks and across his body from his accident. He lost his lower right leg and wears a prosthetic, though is usually covered by his pants. He frequently wears cardigans and sweaters, slacks, comfortable and soft clothing. He wears glasses when he works and reads, but doesn't require them elsewise.

When CGHA began, Scott looked especially weary and was taking poor care of himself. Living as a recluse and showing such by usually existing in a bathrobe and staying unkept. By the time of GHIAB, Scott is consistently cleaned up and looks healthier.

Louise stands a little taller than Natalie, usually because she wears heels. She has a soft, heart-shaped face and slender but curvy build. Though initially introduced with brown hair, she dyed it red during Halloween and has kept it that way since. She tends to wear skirts and dresses with matching nails and makeup.

Tabitha is a middle aged woman with short brown hair and is frequently seen with a 'I'm done with this world' look on her face. She has a heart-shaped face that matches Louise's, but not as youthful or full.

Chrissy has wavy or semi-curled blond hair and big blue eyes. If that sounds similar to Susie from Pizzeria Simulator, that was in fact another Natalie-Vanessa situation. XD Though Chrissy's hair is not nearly as curled and is more naturally tussled.

All of Charlie's friends stick pretty close to their graphic novel versions.

Gregory looks the same as in Security Breach and while Cassie hasn't appeared yet (in case you're curious), she will have her cutout design.

Ness is a pale woman with shoulder-length brown hair and blue eyes. She has body proportions very similar to that woman who's been running around in a bunny suit, which is probably a coincidence.

Okay, now with the major humans out of the way, onto the animatronic changes!

Marionette looks a lot like canon Mari. The only difference is that his neck is a little shorter- though later versions of the Puppet shortened the neck anyways. XD

Foxy looks relatively similar to Fnaf 1/Fnaf AR Foxy. The only difference being that as of the middle of CGHA, Foxy was repaired. He no longer has a tear in his chest and now has fabric over his hand, but still has his hook. Foxy has fabric lower legs and feet that he wears during showtime, but he takes them off when he's not on the clock. His shorts have been repaired and during work hours he can be seen wearing a green pirate coat (the pirate coat from Captain Foxy's Dark Ride in Help Wanted).

Security Puppet Charlie looks a little softer than Pizzeria Simulator Security Puppet. Originally she was supposed to just be that same one, but I keep imagining her with a head and face that's a little close to Mari's in shape, though still with the rounder eyes. The cuteification of Charlie.

Baby originally looked like Scrap Baby, but over the course of AFLH she was repaired. Having plates replaced and repainted to look more like a complete version of Scrap Baby. In GHIAB, Baby took down her pigtail wires and changed them into a low ponytail (to regain her own identity) and then began to wear a small hat. The hat is a refurbished Freddy had, covered in red crushed velveteen with an orange band and a feather, and is a gift from Scott.

Ennard originally looked very much like normal Ennard, though a little more put together. His hands resemble the ones from Ennard's Help Wanted cutout picture instead of the knotted wires like in Sister Location. At the end of AFLH, Ennard got shot in his right eye and had to replace it with a yellow one, with his left remaining blue.

As of GHIAB, Ennard was gifted a technician suit styled to look like a clown costume. Because I'm feeling lazy, here's the exact design from the chapter-

"It looked like the coat a ringleader would wear, though green in color and without coattails. Golden colored buttons lined two rows in the front, with a zipper hidden under an edge of fabric between them. The collar was a deeper, emerald color and edged with sequins that matched the buttons. The sleeve's cuffs matches the collar, but with an edge of a white frill lining it.

The pants had one leg green and the other yellow and were made out of a slightly stretchier material, but otherwise looked like normal pants. There were a pair of new work gloves and boots in the bottom. These were relatively simple compared to everything else, just forest green to somewhat match the theme of the rest. There was a velveteen red ribbon in the bottom, likely to be tied in a bow."

Balloon Boy is in the Little Joe body from Sister Location instead of his old BB body due to concept unification.

Springtrap looks a little less deteriorated than he did in Fnaf 3 because of the time difference.

The last notable animatronic change/appearance is Jake.

Jake is the old Sun. So, his body resembles Sunnymoon's except greyed out due to his lack of glow. Jake wears the Stitchwraith's mask, of which a lone blue eye peeks through, and his tattered black coat (which is often equated to a trash bag like material). Underneath his mask, his face is damaged from having parts removed. His pants are tattered and cut short, and his lower leg has been replaced with an endoskeleton one off of the old Stitchwraith body.

...And yes, that does look vaguely similar to Eclipse. XD That was another one of my patented random fnaf predictions, lol.

I hope that covered everyone! If not, drop me a line and I'll add more! ^_^

[theflyingfeeling]

Aaaaaaa OlliAllu crushing on each other aaaaaaa 🥺💖💕

I wanna know everything about the timeline! 😍

Thanks for asking!! My favourite topic!! 🥺

So just as a disclaimer: the following is based on nothing much but my vivid & delusional imagination (except that it's all totally true and real 😌)

Behold,

💖 The Olli/Allu Love Story Timeline* 💖

(*according to theflyingfeeling / this is gospel truth okay don't fight me)

Pre-Aleksi-joining-the-band / Timebomb -> becoming friends 👨🏼‍🤝‍👨🏻

So I imagine that before Aleksi joined the band, he and Olli were friendly but maybe not super close (or as close as Aleksi may have been to Joel/Joonas/Niko). They respected each other as musicians and, as time passed, figured the other is a pretty cool dude to hang out with and fun to play shows with 🤝 By the time Aleksi joined the band, they were already good friends 😌

(I love how from the very beginning it was not unusual to spot them next to each other in pictures (yes yes I know about their team short/team tall arrangement in pictures, humour me a little here though)

Can we also cry about this (irrelevant to Olli/Allu (unless Olli wrote this)):

"our lovely friend" 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

*

2021: UMK / Eurovision / post-Eurovision -> developing the crush 💕

They started working on Dark Side pretty much right/around when Aleksi first joined the band, right? By then they all, including Olli, had spent more and more time with Aleksi in the studio as well as on stage before he officially joined the band. During the UMK/Eurovision project, however, they were suddenly working together way more intensely (especially after winning UMK), so I like to think that was when their friendship deepened and they found out just how much they have in common (e.g. all their nerdy mutual interests). They probably started to chat more just the two of them (in the UMK video 15 facts about Blind Channel, Aleksi mentioned calling Olli (and always catching him biking lol)) and sort of just drifted towards each other so that they were frequently seen together (the screencap on the right is taken seconds before they stop to stare each other in the eyes, sorry I don't have a gif of that) 💕

(and no I haven't done extensive research on how much more often they were spotted together in comparison to how often they were spotted with other band members just sshhhhhh it's not like this is a doctoral thesis)

If I recall correctly, they also did some interviews together, at least this one where they look like they had just woken up from a nap with lots of cuddles (and maybe even some shy kisses for fun (because sometimes good friends make out for the lols, right??), I mean come on, they look so soft 🥺💓

They also sat (and partied) next to each other during the finale, and shared that one looooooooong hug I mean COME OOOOOON they don't want to let go of each other 😭

Of course, we cannot forget about the tipsy/drunken cuddles during that interview (and in the hotel room a bit later, source: I just know it in my heart) 💞

(remember also the other, less known drunk interview that showed Olli staring at Aleksi dreamily 🥺)

I think around this time they also got a bit flirty with each other for the first time? At least if one is to interpret the way Olli "mocks" (lovingly <3) how Aleksi says his middle name in the hotel room IG stream they did (and of course we're going to interpret the heck out of that, that's why I'm writing this whole thing for 😌 (I still crack up at Niko's "I thought it was Mattson" every time though lol))

Another highlight from 2021 was obviously the moments they shared in the Posse shower stall we have been discussing lately, which show exactly how comfortable they are with each other 😩

Also, I can't remember for sure and I can't find the ask for reference, but was it the summer of 2021 when Aleksi had to miss a show (because he was sick or something?), and reportedly Olli had been all quiet and gloomy that day, to the point that Niko pointed it out on stage during their show, telling the audience (jokingly) that they're sorta worried about Olli because he has barely said a word all day? I remember talking about this with someone and they had videos/pictures/?? about it too, but until I have some actual evidence of this, you're just gonna have to take my word of it 😌 In any case, it goes to show how much they meant to each other already back then 😭

To conclude, I think the year 2021 was the year they slowly developed their (mutual) crush, but without fully realising what was happening. There were some cheeky cuddles (perhaps even sleepy/drunken kisses) and friendly teasing which was totally NOT flirting although it totally was, they weren't just ready to admit it and butterflies in the stomach that they tried to ignore; they're fairly certain they like each other platonically and nothing more, even though they can't help but smile a little more brightly when they get a text from each other and they miss each other a little too much when they're apart... 💕

*

Spring/summer 2022: the US tour / the EU tour / the summer (tour) -> getting together 💞

Let's start off with this poor-quality gif I just made, for no particular reason except that I want y'all to look at how cute they are 🥰

According to Niko (source: just trust me alright, I think he said it on twitter but naturally I can't find anything rn), as I'm sure many of you know by now, during the US tour Olli and Aleksi were often the last ones awake in the tour bus, drinking Mountain Dew and chatting away about nerdy stuff. I think this is when they really grew closer and I can easily imagine that around this time the first thoughts of "what if..." entered their minds 😳

Maybe they sometimes ended up just staring into each others eyes lovingly, before realising neither has said anything for a while (and it was sort of awkward when they did realise, but they just laughed it off), or maybe there were accidental/absentminded touches; maybe they both just felt so warm and cozy in each other's company, and even though they were both getting a little sleepy, they kept on talking for a few more moments because they weren't ready to let go of the moment and "burst the bubble". Maybe they were joking around and being low-key flirty, and when they finally went to bed, they'd be going out of their minds in their bunkbeds, trying not to think about all that too hard.

I like to think that eventually they got more daring, sat more closer to each other, and suddenly the small touches weren't accidental anymore. They could have an entire conversation with Aleksi's hand on Olli's thigh or vice versa and it would feel so nice and so natural 💞 There may have been a few kisses too, just for fun and because the vibes are right, and maaaaaaybe they don't really talk about it that much, but they definitely can't wait to try that again somewhere a bit more private 👀

Speaking of which, we also know that they roomed together at least once ("Little Man asked first"), and by some inexplicable coincidence, the two of them were the only ones in the band who got ill during the tour? Huh, that's strange 🤔😌 So I have a reason to believe the US tour was when they first got together, even if they thought they were just fooling around back then 🥰

(can't think of anything in particular to say about the EU tour in the spring, but we can look at these pictures nevertheless 💗_💗)

and then 🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭😭😭

Getting emotional receiving the gold records in Ruisrock, hugging each other the first thing because who else would they hug, what more prove do you even need to see how much these two love each other 😭

We also know that in the summer 2022 Olli stayed at Aleksi's when he was in Helsinki (not sure if this happened every time he was in the capital but there were a few occasions), I think they were spotted grocery shopping together or something? They also participated in this interview together, providing us moments such as

1) the two of them sitting tightly in Aleksi's (?) car,

2) hearing that they had spent the night together watching old tour videos,

3) Olli commenting on Aleksi's outfit ("I warned you..." = he had been looking at Aleksi's dick through his pants 🥰 (at least I assume it's about the romper that showed the outline of his peepee? he says "last summer" but I don't think his outfit in the 2021 summer tour was as controversial? it was literally just a black t-shirt (with a white long-sleeve underneath sometimes) and black trousers, so I assume he means "the summer that has passed" (the interview took place in August))

4) Olli's surprise when Aleksi says he, too, would like to collaborate with Skrillex and Aleksi teasing Olli about "having thought about Skrillex last night" (don't worry Aleksi, I'm sure he was thinking more about you than Skrillex 🥺)

To sum up, in the first half of the year 2022, they got together for the first time and formed a special kinda bond, slowly falling in deep, soft love 🥺💕

*

Autumn 2022: the EU headline tour, the London & LA song-writing camps -> honeymoon time 💖

...yeah, I wonder what happened during the EU headline tour 😳

(they fucked. a lot. rough. this is the truth.)

...and before they left for the honeymoon song-writing camp, they did the cutest thing that any two humans have ever done in the history of the universe 😭

I mean 😭😭😭😭 are y'all still crying about this?! because I never stopped 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 you can just imagine them grocery shopping for studio snacks together and they spot this card (I do wonder what the picture on the front is) and have this grand idea and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa the giggles when they wrote the card and gave it to daddy!Johnny AAAAAAAAAAA I'm going to explode if I think about how unbelieavably cute it all is, is this not something you do with a very special bro of yours?! I cannot handle it 🥺💕

In London they went on a date on Olli's birthday (yes I have decided the others weren't there 😌) and Aleksi took the most boyfriend picture of him because they're boyfriends in love 🥺

In LA we know they shared the bed (source: you can't prove they didn't!!) and looked very very soft and boyfriends; in conclusion, they were on a honeymoon 💖

*

2023: boyfriends boyfriending 💓💞💕💖💗

And yeah, that sort of brings us to this year and the way they are now, so cute and sweet and boyfriend and touching each other for no reason thinking they're being discreet and playfighting and giggling at each other's joke like they're the most hilarious person that ever lived and smiling sweetly when they see the other has replied to their text and being so fucking cute in Aleksi's twitch streams without Olli even physically being there and getting engaged for real and just 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Of course there are soooooooooo many moments over the years that I also want to mention but can't really pinpoint in the timeline, such as all the clothes/accessory-sharing and adopting each other's style (cuffed jeans and tucked-in shirts) and the wine drinking while listening to soft music and cuddling in meet-and-greet pictures and looking so happy about it too and in general always sitting/standing next to each other in pictures ("but they don't always--" YES they do always, don't even fight me about this 😤), the evidence is right there in front of your own two eyeballs if only you choose to see it and live like a king the way we do here in the Olli/Allu Delulu Land ✨

Finally, let me do a random photo dump to further illustrate my point if you're not yet convinced for some reason (and to reach the 30 pictures per post limit) 💖

(sorry for no sources, if this is the reason I go to jail I'm going happily)

[pandoramsbox]

Sci-Fi Saturday: The Thing From Another World

Week 28:

Film(s): The Thing From Another World (Dir. Christian Nyby, 1951, USA)

Viewing Format: Blu-Ray

Date Watched: 2022-02-04

Rationale for Inclusion:

As stated before, part of the point of this chronological survey of science fiction cinema was an excuse to revisit favorite films. This week we finally get to one of my partner and my preexisting favorites of the genre: The Thing From Another World (Dir. Christian Nyby, 1951, USA).

In part to differentiate it from the John Carpenter 1982 readaptation, this film is usually referred to as "Howard Hawks' The Thing" because the film is so full of the director's auteur tropes that it struck critics as inconceivable that he only acted as producer on the project. He did apparently contribute to the script, as did his frequent collaborator Ben Hecht, though sole screen credit for the adaptation of "Who Goes There?" by John W. Campbell is given to Charles Lederer, another regular Hawks collaborator. 

Based on the rest of his filmography, credited director Christian Nyby seems to have only operated as director on a technical level, following the example of his mentor Hawks. Despite how the Cahiers du Cinema bros' auteur theory has been interpreted, not all directors are inherently auteurs. Just as some producers exercise authorship of their productions (sometimes to the consternation of directors), but not all. If/then logic and cult of personality can blind critics to how these dynamics vary from filmmaker to filmmaker. 

All that to say, this film is "Howard Hawks' The Thing" in the same way that Destination Moon (Dir. Irving Pichel, 1950, USA) is "George Pal's Destination Moon." Hawks' preferences for content that define him as an auteur director flowed into him taking on the role of producer. I do think he left the mechanical chores of directing The Thing to Nyby, even as he was exerting great creative control.

At any rate, The Thing was the second film released in 1951 to focus on a crash-landed alien spaceship, roughly a month after The Man from Planet X (Dir. Edgar G. Ulmer, 1951, USA). Of the many sci-fi films released in 1951, including the iconic The Day the Earth Stood Still (Dir. Robert Wise, 1951, USA), The Thing proved to be the biggest moneymaker. Contemporary reviews were decidedly mixed, yet it has gone on to be one of the most referenced and lauded examples of the sci-fi genre of its era, eventually being added to the Library of Congress' National Film Registry in 2001.

Reactions: 

As mentioned before, The Thing was a film that my partner and I had both seen before and liked, but watching it in the context of other genre films of its era gave us a deeper appreciation for it.

Due to a combination of auteur sensibilities, special effects limitations, and Production Code considerations, The Thing is only a loose adaptation of "Who Goes There?" No characters overlap between the two; the film swaps the South Pole for its northern counterpart; the spaceship crash has just happened, instead of occurring thousands of years ago; and the extraterrestrial they haul back to camp in a block of ice is not a shapeshifting mimic, but a carnivorous plant monster. Those familiar with John Carpenter's version, The Thing (Dir. John Carpenter, 1981, USA), will note that based on this list of changes alone, the later adaptation is closer to its source material than the 1951 version. Those who have read "Who Goes There?" and seen both films will confirm this fact.

The liberties taken with Hawks' The Thing may seem frustrating to people who want to watch a tighter adaptation of the source novella, but in and out of the context of 1950s sci-fi cinema, the Hawksian touches are what makes it a stand out film. The characters are all world-weary professionals who lived through World War II, and many have the sardonic sense of humor that comes from living through too many unprecedented events. The tough-talking, gorgeous and unapologetically funny Hawksian Woman is present in the form of Nikki Nicholson (Margaret Sheridan), Dr. Carrington's (Robert Cornthwaite) highly competent secretary. Unlike the clunky and stilted cardboard characters that populate The Man from Planet X, the characters have the personality, camaraderie, and senses of humor that are typical of Hawks' filmography and it makes the film a joy to watch.

In keeping with the characters being flashed out as realistic and expert people, to quote my partner, "nobody is a dumbass." Even as Dr. Carrington's attempts to better understand and communicate with The Thing (James Arness) may seem foolish, they are perfectly reasonable for an implicitly ace/aro scientist obsessed with gaining new knowledge whose ego gets the better of him. Dr. Carrigton explains during the dissection of the Thing's arm that the entity seems to be from a planet where plant life became dominant instead of animal life, yet nevertheless seems shocked when his attempts to communicate with the Thing are met with the same violence the alien showed the sled dogs earlier in the film. Either he had not connected that all animal life forms are merely lower order food to the Thing, or thought that his scientific brilliance and attempt at friendship would be well received regardless.

Scientists being treated as impractical, incorrect children in conflict with correct, military men of action has been cited by a recurring theme in sci-fi films of the 1950s by Peter Biskind in his book Seeing Is Believing: How Hollywood Taught Us to Stop Worrying and Love the Fifties. Given the nature of the Cold War politics, nuclear fears, and the United States pushing for heteronormativity after the gender role upsets necessary to engage in World War II, Biskind viewing sci-fi films like The Thing and Them! (Dir. Gordon Douglas, 1954, USA) as ideologically conservative is not an incorrect read. However, his way is not the only way to interpret these films; especially if you are not trying to make an overarching argument about a decade's worth of cinema.

Part of the appeal of The Thing is the same to me as Star Trek. My partner and I even commented on how the core plot (a militaristic group needing to protect a group of research scientists from a hostile alien) and character dynamics were proto-"Sass" Trek, as we often refer to the franchise, due to all Starfleet officers apparently having to meet a minimum sass requirement to serve. The less obvious narrative aspects The Thing has in common with Star Trek however is its respect for expertise, techno-babble, and practical, humanitarian underpinnings.

The first two are especially apparent amongst the team of scientists. Each one has discrete specializations, and is called upon to use them to interpret phenomena related to a crash landed extraterrestrial spacecraft, including its surviving passenger. In other sci-fi films, and not just during the 1950s, the scientist characters are often depicted as experts in all or multiple unrelated scientific disciplines. When such characters pop up, I am apt to quote Carlos the Scientist from an early episode of the podcast Welcome to Night Vale: "I'm a scientist. I study science."

The nature of expertise and experience translates into how the non-scientist characters are depicted and treat one another too. Captain Hendry (Kenneth Tobey) does not berate or question Tex (Nicholas Byron) the radio operator when the weather interrupts service, as some men of rank might a subordinate. Nikki's assessment of Dr. Carrington's personality and concerns about what the existence of extraterrestrials are taken seriously, not dismissed amid cocky sexism. Everyone clears the way when station nurse Mrs. Chapman (Sally Creighton) steps up to administer first aid to a victim of The Thing. The frustration that Scotty the journalist (Douglas Spencer) endures at not being able to put out his story about what's happening at the station is treated respectfully, and fully enabled when it becomes safe to do so. Despite frequently being positioned as opposing Captain Hendry, Dr. Carrington's knowledge or scientific findings are not questioned, just his lack of regard for the wellbeing of others. Individuals and their unique skill sets are prized, but so is community and general welfare, which is the dynamic that governs Star Trek crews, as well as any functional Dungeons & Dragons party.

The Thing is conservative in its plot, seeking to resolve itself by as close to a status quo as it can, and with the formation of a heterosexual union between Captain Hendry and Nikki. The dynamics in the universe where The Thing takes place are more egalitarian and good humored than the universe that Biskind delivered his criticism from. Although, The Thing is far from progressive: none of the scientists or officers are women, and the only non-white person in the film is Lee the Chinese cook (Lee Tung Foo). Still, its lack of explicit sexism and universal dignity allotted to its characters stands out relative to other films of the 1950s.

As iconic as the shot of the party investigating the downed ship forming a circle and the combat scenes with fire or electricity being used on the Thing are, it's the characters that endears The Thing to me so much as a movie. It's the quippy wingmen, kinky secretary and misanthrope lead scientist that draw me back to it again and again.

[tutuandscoot]

2/17 Practice deep dive analysis

Part 2

So as they are about to be called to start as the other team has finished, they stop with their little conversation they were having as they lapped the rink. It’s like when they go into dance hold, whenever they are in it they are in ‘business mode’. It’s like ‘ok no fooling around now’ (not that they do), but.. like they are in business mode and they of course are fully serious when they skate around holding hands proper (the handy holdy/pinky hold) but it’s more ‘professional’ in the stricter sense of skating. I hear it in my head (in reference to a different moment where they were switching from proper to dance hold- here they weren’t holding the going into dance hold) as him (or her) saying, ‘ok kiddo, show time. I have to be your partner now’. It’s feels odd to analys it and share my take on it since I have no clue if this is how they actually interpreted it, but it’s like the proper hand hold is more friendly, more coupley, more ‘I want to hold your as close as possible’ where as dance hold is more occupational. I just find interesting to watch them go in and out of that, like as soon as they take dance hold- specifically as they enter for their practice run through/performance, it’s like ok, serious time. And it’s beautiful because they immediately go into that zone and their roles in the partnership are immediately established and they are there to do a job. Ok what it is is: In regular hold they are equals as in best friends who see each other as equal humans who love each other equally but in dance hold they are equals in the sense of their shared responsibility and commitment to their dance partnership and the different roles they both have to execute to perfection. Also this here isn’t the only time- there have been many where they manage to change holds/take hands right in the blind spot of the camera so it’s like a magic trick they are suddenly holding 🥰

The ✨drama✨ as they present. You can tell mentally before they present they’re in it and focused, switched to the same frequency, but as they present they A R E their characters. And what I love about how they have always done this, is the subtle way they set the tone. I’m quite off put by the way many teams do it, whether it’s some ultra characterised entrance (which if it suits the program fair, but often it’s too corny) or a lot of teams would just be overly “sensual” and it didn’t feel real, then others where they had some flashy ‘thing’ as their names were announced then just slumped back over and made their way to position (I can give examples of all of these if you want me to). But with TS it’s all internal - which is the same way they’ve described how they feel and create movement together- it comes from their emotion or the psychology of the program whether it’s them or their characters’ psychology. So here they present and he’s immediately stalking her with a sinister, seductive stare, wringing his hands, feeling that sensuality in himself. Her projecting that tantalising femininity, doing so much yet so little- so much of it is coming from her eyes. It all comes from the inside out with them and because they are physically stunning athletes, so trained, so aware of how they look and relate to each other, that internal self talk/mantra, the story they have put themselves inside they can convey physically- BEFORE they even start dancing.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone talk about how impactful this opening is. I also don’t think I have ever seen them this far apart on the ice in a choreographic sense. Obviously in ice dance, there’s the general rule that you are never to be more than an arm length (so fingertips touching) from your partner (excluding static start/end poses) which to be fair most teams (that I’ve watched) do generally stick to but you do see frequently partners far apart either choreographically or bad tracking ie things like twizzles. Anyway. The fact that they start so far apart is so impactful. Obviously within seconds they get close together and touch for the first time in T H A T lift (seriously what a GOAT era way to start a program). We all rave about how powerful their connection is and they dance so close the intimacy is burning, but what’s so cool is how they can do that from this far away as well. They can quiet an arena to being able to hear a pin drop. Everyone stops what they are doing because it’s as if they are staring lasers at each other. What they can do with literally nothing, just standing 10 metres apart looking at each other.. is insane. The emotion, power, chemistry, etc they project is like nothing else and all this to say is physically this is a simple, potentially nothing opening but what they do with it even before they move or the music starts I don’t think anyone else could- make you feel conflicted between feeling like you are intruding on something very private yet simultaneously unable to look away- and they don’t want you to. 🔥

(I’m just going to use one gif to talk about this but it applies to the whole practice). Something about this run through was just so effortless. I know this is the start but by the end they are moving just as freely and energetic as the beginning. It just looks so easy. So assured. So exact and precise yet not devoid of charisma, humanity, being in the moment. And in writing this I think that’s what they meant by achieving *EXCELLENCE* instead of perfection. (BRB having a mind blown moment).

I love their movement quality; the silkyness, the way they merge out of appearing as one figure- one being and then splitting in two. In moments they do move differently and interpret movement differently- ie in the ‘roxxxANNE’ *head head* moment at the end of the twizzles- there is a slight difference (which is perfectly fine) but in moving together like this here- they were just so made to dance with each other- that statement does not take away from the COLOSSAL amount of work it took them to get to this point, but I feel like you can say they were both made for each other and worked hard to be the best the can possibly be at moving together- those two statements don’t contradict each other. Also the rhythm of the way they move. There is moving musically to the rhythm/melody/beat but then there is their internal rhythm that is connected to each other’s (and it actually is because the make damn sure it is every time before they skate) and that makes up a huge component of facilitating things like lifts- the rhythm of how lifts work and contributes to making it so seamless- neither of them is rushing or doing more or less work than they need to. They are moving together rather then either of them doing more work then the other or against what is natural for the movement to work. As I said it’s so precise and just looks so natural.

��� (following on from that point and without wasting a gif bc it applies to the whole thing) the way they emote during this practice is something else. There’s practicing the emotion or faces bc it’s part of the program but then there’s being emotional bc you truly love it and love being those characters- that’s what you feel from them, that it’s so honest and the love of what they get to do just pours out of them whether it’s practice or performance. And I kind of feel like even though this is so incredibly close to perfect, them knowing they are so ready, they are kinda playing with the performance a bit. Esp from him- it feels like he’s just letting go and fully embodying his character to a point that isn’t as controlled as the actual competition performance was.. and how cool that they can do that. Most people you have to drag emotion out of but them… and (side note) there’s that bit of Scott saying (in the context of finding himself as a performer, and I’m also gonna add- not that he said it but I feel like it’s true based on other stuff- he just wanting to do his best for Tessa and be amazing for her) how he might push the acting or emotion further than what he thinks his necessary and that’s when T says ‘that’s it I love that’ 😭 (sorry just take a moment to visualise scootie getting all excited when T says she loves what he did- he always felt he wasn’t the dancer/performer she was so when she says she loves that he trusts her with his life he knows that’s what she wants and loves oh my heart❤️‍🩹). So yeah, them being the performers that actually have to be pulled back sometimes because they give so much- which I was always taught it’s so much better to have to pull back a bit that having it dragged out against your will.

(Bc I’m never gonna miss an opportunity to gif this)

I’ve probably tried to explain what this is before but just let me do it again.. I know to the laymen eye this looks like them being super sexy and seductive for the sake of it and them forgetting they are in public and don’t want people to know about their super hot and sexy secret relationship🙄.. But just use your brains for a sec and remember this isn’t some fake af reality show and in fact they are at the most important event in their athletic careers- their craft and yes, JOB they have dedicated their lives to. They are the best athletes in their sport, meticulously rehearsing the routine that will win them gold.. again. The way these practices work is their music will play in full and they will practice pre-determined sections of the routine with music then before and after do the missed sections without music. The said program they are practicing is Moulin Rouge!, a famously seductive, romantic, sex driven story in which they are portraying very complicated characters with both true and impulse- driven motivations. In their sport of ice dance, it is required of them to act and portray their characters in an understandable sense through movement and facial expressions as well as interpreting the music whether it be instrumental or with lyrics. As part of this story exploration both in the workshopping/choreographic process, and once completed, it is customary for dancers to play with movement that does not become set choreography in the piece, for exploration purposes and even as a matter of being ‘in’ the character and finishing moments off with reactions that are not choreographed, but emerge almost unprompted as a matter of being in the world you have created. THAT’s what this is. They knew they were not continuing with the choreography, so instead, because they are so ‘in it’ they continue with physically bringing to life the internal dialogue they both are reciting in their heads as they dance-dialogue that is far more complicated and nuanced that the 4 minutes of program choreography. It’s beautiful to think about them diving head first into bringing this story to life.. the most important decision of their lives was to find their perfect FD, and they did find it, and it makes me emotional to think about them every day in the early phases of creation, them just exploring everything they could do with it- the romantic parts, the violent parts, the sex and seduction.. creating something from nothing is the most beautiful thing we can do as humans and they had done that their whole lives and now got to create something that was truly setting their hearts on fire. I doubt they ever wanted to leave that place- being in the head space of that beautiful, heartbreaking story and so I don’t blame them at all for spontaneous moments of improvisation where they could just BE those characters. Then of course the moment after is the best bit- how they turn to each other and break and you know how much fun they are having. They LOVED what they got to do and it breaks my heart that people thought they couldn’t just love what they did and that was that- it couldn’t be that simple, and yet it was and the smiles on their faces say it all.

I alluded to this in my super long analysis post on this lift that when they practiced here, they almost did it too good.

What I mean by that is they kinda over popped it. They use to term ‘pop’ to describe their execution of lifts, there is a crucial moment when they both have to be in the exact right place at the right time, use their coordinated breaths, plié, trajectory etc to make the lift happen.

In saying this lift is ‘over popped’, it looks to me like Tessa got slightly more air than she usually would off the back flip launch, causing Scott to catch and rotate her slightly earlier and higher in the air, where usually, there is typically more of a forward and downwards height she is at in the dive where he would begin the anchor point and manipulation of getting her to sitting up. (All this is more easily observed in video format). In this instance any semblance of a typical ‘lifting’ motion is erased (not that this has much of a typical ‘lift’ motion to it anyway) because she has all but launched herself to the height of the (sitting up) lift position. The rest of the movement continues *excellently* and without having scrutinised it like I have it would maybe be hard to tell, but comparing it to the performance version (and this is not meant as an insult or a bad thing) this looks a bit over excited where as the performance (from a movement perspective) is controlled and calculated.

I really want to hear from them the actual decision process for both changing the lift initially for the team event, and then going back to this. I imagine when they got to Seoul for their private practice between events there was a conversation like ‘so we’re going back to the original lift?’ and someone else went ‘yep’ and then they both said ‘yeah F*ck it this is what it’s suppose to be and we want it to be so as long as we do it perfect..’.

This in general is such an incredibly beautiful moment. They’ve just been through this big, traumatic event and it’s like he’s checking her to make sure she’s ok. The way he looks at her the whole time through that circling movement, bends over so far to legitimately take her in- as I said earlier, not just doing it because it’s the choreography, but because he as both Scott as well as his character adores her and is actually taking a moment to let her rest and make sure she’s ok (😢🤧). There’s some really beautiful photos of this moment and it’s one of my favourites in the program given it comes after such a memorable, highlight moment, it’s easy to forget there are beautiful, more nuanced moments that are all critical to the story- not just fill in chore. I also really love how they tried to keep- even if it changed chronologically and choreographically a bit, the moment in the original ending- the moment from Manon when she does the falling angel arabesques then the twist into the fall back and he’s caring her dying body through its final moments, there were times where he would kiss her (body) in that moment and with this it’s a bit different given the position he’s not really able too, but they’ve kept the intention and emotion of that moment in this revised version.

Also just the way he handles her. I know I go on about it a lot and it may seem like I view it as one-sided between them, but it’s not in the respect of a hetro relationship, it’s in the respect of dance partners and duty of care the man has over his woman (and I can speak on this because I’ve had partners that treated me well and others that didn’t) and Scott treats her like a freaking angel. I’ve said before the way he holds her head and anytime he’s holding her in a position where she’s lying back, how important it is in those positions just safety wise to have your head supported properly if not by someone else then yourself, holding your posture/strength correctly as to not injure your neck- which Tessa would 100% be doing anyway because she is so strong and well trained (and now this is where a bit of body language stuff comes in I guess which I am not an expert on) but the way Scott holds her like that- holds that part of her oozes of such commitment and attentiveness to her safety- the way he holds her all the way out of that position to standing straight, like he actually putting her back to vertical, where he has all her weight anyway- she has to do almost no work to get out of it and that’s just an extra (significant) level of care he has over her physically. And yes it’s also in the way he stays so close to her and the way he looks at her with the eyebrows doing */\* thing 🥹

When I said the other day that the thing I go softest over is their utmost and constant care of each other, well also way up there is their love for dancing together. You just know they do- you don’t get a connection like their’s without loving it (T has now said a few times that for a long period of their career she didn’t *love* skating.. but I do believe she loved dancing and skating with him.. just not the sport of skating). So knowing it and being able to believe it is one thing but when it comes out- uncontrollably pours out of them like this it’s something else. The way after the spiral they are basically making each other laugh with how much they are enjoying themselves. Both unapologetically singing, how it seems to have left their stream of consciousness that this is a practice for the ..Olympics.. and not just dancing for fun. So many athletes competing at the olys- the majority know they are not competing for medals- they are there for a PB- time or score and to have fun, and I’m sure they try to soak in the experience as much as possible. For the potentially medaling athletes- the ones with a good chance or are expected to win- they are there to do a job and have a lot riding on their result- TS were the favourites in almost every competition they entered in their senior careers (except for the first couple years) and if not favourites they were never far from the top (never lower than 6th as seniors). They put their whole careers and legacy on the line with this comeback and this result mattered a lot to them, and to many others. So how intimidating must it have been for all the other teams on this practice- 2 low ranked teams, one mid-ranked and one potentially top 5/bronze contender team, to be on the ice with the greatest team in history- expected to take it all, all the pressure on them, to be having THIS MUCH FUN and enjoying themselves THIS MUCH. Being THIS good and having THIS MUCH FUN being THIS GOOD. And in writing this I’m just now remembering how they said (when they came back to competition) that when they were on their 2 year break they would go to comps and watch other teams be taking it so seriously and not seeming to be having fun, and when they came back they wanted that to be a priority. To enjoy it. And they even told each other before every (competitive/performance) skate (but I’m sure everyday in practice too) that they are so lucky to have each other and love what they share and just have so much fun spending their days together and want to enjoy every minute of it.. (Scott- or I guess Tessa, can I please borrow that bucket the rice was in to soak up my tears, please and thank you). 😭😭😭😭😭

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

[vvatchword]

When I see how people interpret the media I like, I'm often just full-on baffled. How does anyone miss clear-as-fuck points the way so many people do? The only thing I can figure is that they're seeing what they expect or want and aren't interpreting media on a case-by-case basis.

You know how that makes me feel, when I'm working on something I hope is Art with a capital A, and I'm writing it to be better understood, and I realize that nobody is going to understand shit, and I might as well just throw everything into a fire?

Maybe it's a personal problem. I am routinely horrified by how nobody else seems to see the world the way I do. Sometimes we are similar if you squint, but the fact I am usually alone at the end of it all is its own commentary. Even among friends and/or those with close similarities, I'm frequently misunderstood. It's like I'm on some kind of parallel track to the rest of the human race.

I'm still not sure what this is. I do know that we are each blind to certain elements--I personally suffer from a kind of social blindness, and god knows what else I can't see--but I don't think that's the full explanation. Am I wrong about my own nature? Is my nature simply that malleable, that I'm a different person in different places and different times? Are we unknowable as individuals? Are we just so variegated that there are a multitude of equally variegated ways to be read, and I'm just sour about not being seen the way I prefer? Everyone has different focal points and interprets everyone a different way, and everything depends on contexts.

Maybe I'm just misreading people. Fuck.