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justmeinadaze · 5 months

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Secret Sinners Part 4 (Steddie X You)

A/N: I think I'm going to end Secret Sinners here but start like a idk season 3 or whatever for them raising their son together. No matter what we will see Demon Steddie and Y/N with their son. I'm just not sure if it will be here or a thing on its own.

Warnings: Demon Steddie X Human Fem Y/N, SMUT, soft smut between three beings that love each other :). FLUFF, the boys enter "the door" and have interactions with their son. Ellis talks about readers parents and Eddie's mom who have all passed (refers to them as angels). Boys go back home <3

ANGST, We get a visit from both of Steve's parents and they are anything but pleasant (they refer negatively to Ellis and shame Steve for loving Eddie and Y/N), Eddie talks about fears of becoming his father, Reader has a trigger moment due to events from last chapter and has a bit of a breakdown that they help her through (doesn't last long), Both boys go into a bit more details of what they saw with Mirage and how it still affects them in an attempt to comfort the reader (mentions of abandonment, death of a partner, being alone, some heavy themes), Reader talks about missing her parents so loss of a parent trigger for sure. I think that's it. We're got the usual mix of angst and fluff.

Word Count: 9174

Head Filled with Demons/Secret Sinners series here

Your eyes widen as the sound of shouting grabs your attention and you peak your head out of the room you were sitting in, meeting Ellis’s scared little face as he runs down the hallway to find you.

“Mommy… there’s an angry man stomping around. He’s scary.”

“It’s ok, baby, I’ll protect you. Just stay behind me okay?”

His black curls bounce as he nods, gripping the bottom on your shirt as you step forward and head towards the noise. A demon you didn’t recognize was grumbling as he stomped around, fuming as he scratched at furniture and threw a photo frame to the ground.

“HEY! Stop that!”

Red, glowing eyes met yours for a moment before dialing down and a growl left the creatures lips.

“You’re Y/N? You’re the pathetic human who’s with my son?”

“Who are you?”

“I’m Bill Harrington, Steven’s father. You three should be ashamed.”, he spat in a disgusted tone. “I raised my son to be a powerful, strong solider who could lead any army. Yet he ran off with that freak and started fucking him.”

“Watch your mouth.”

“Excuse me?! You don’t get to speak to me that way!”

“I’ll speak to you anyway I see fit! I won’t have you bad mouthing Steve or Eddie in front of their son.”, you retort angrily as the small boy hugs your leg.

“That thing is not my grandson. He’s part human which is so much worse than anything else my son has done. He’s pathetic and weak just like the rest of your species!”

A deep growl came from your side as another demon skidded into the living room and placed himself between you and Bill.

Steve’s eyes glowed as he stared his father down.

“Don’t talk about my son that way.”

“Well, well Steven. Look how far you fell. Being friends with a subordinate solider, killing a member of your team AND running away instead of facing the consequences. Getting captured and imprisoned as well as falling in love with not just one but two beings that are beneath you. You could have been great, son.”

“I AM great. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been with Edward and Y/N. They love me for me without me having to prove myself. My son will never go through what I did by having you as a father. Now…leave.”

“Or what?”, his father huffed.

“Try me, dad. I’m much stronger than I used to be and I’ll do anything to protect them.”

Scanning his son over, he gives you three one last look of disgust before abruptly disappearing.

Steve quickly turns around and cups your face with his hands.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, baby, I’m fine. Ellis?”

When you tried to turn, the little boy wouldn’t let you as he clung to your back side tightly. His father tried to peak over you but every time he did the small demon moved away out of his sight.

“Sweetheart, it’s ok. This is one of your daddies.”

As he clung to you tighter, Steve blinked before transforming into his human form thinking it might make the young demon more comfortable as he slowly sunk to his knees.

“H-Hey, Ellis. I’m Steven…like your mom said I’m…I’m one of your dads.”

You feel your sons grip loosen a bit as he shuffles to your side and shyly takes in the man before him.

“I’m sorry you had to see all that.”, he gestures behind him. “But I promise, I’m never going to let anyone hurt you or talk to you like that. Just like your mommy you’re safe with me and your other daddy.”

Softly smiling the boy shuffles to Steve, opening his arms wide as he wraps his arms around his neck.

“Your dad is mean.”

Steve lets out a breathy laugh as his hands run through the small demon’s hair and down his face as his eyes fully take him in.

“Yeah he is. I swear I’m not like that.”

“Good!”, he exclaims as he gives his dad a big kiss on the cheek. “I hope my other dad finds the door like you did so I can meet him to. Grandma Munson says I have his spunk! I don know what dat means.”

Your eyes fluttered open as Steve bolted awake reaching out towards the air.

“No! No, no, no.”

“What?! What’s happening?”, Eddie yawned as he sat up.

“Steven, how did you do that?”, you asked.

“I was dreaming about a house and I heard my dad shouting. I’ve had dreams like that before but when I heard your voice I ran through it. Is he ok? He’s not alone there is he?!”

“Can someone explain to me what’s going on?”, the long-haired demon inquired now with slight panic added to the confusion.

“I saw him, Ed. I saw our son! He was so handsome and adorable. I can’t believe…”

“He’s definitely not alone. Ellis has told me before all he knows is my parents and Grandma Munson.”, you softly smile as you turn towards the other demon. “He said she told him he has your spunk.”

Eddie laughs through his teeth as he grins.

“She used to tell me that all the time. That I’m rambunctious with too much energy but she always said it like a compliment.”

Grinning, you kiss his lips before taking a shower and getting dressed.

“Hey, um, sweetheart, I was thinking we don’t have to go home right now if you just want to take a couple of weeks to rest. This last adventure was… was pretty heavy.”

“I know, Eddie, but I’m alright. Plus, I really want to see where you grew up and meet your friends and family.” As the demon sighs, Steve scans him over and just with both their looks alone you know something is wrong. “Talk to me, guys. What’s going on?”

“We haven’t been there is over 3,000 years. What if so much has changed we don’t recognize it anymore? Or nothing has changed and they will be prejudice against you as well as Steve and I’s relationship? Humans are thought to be weak in most realms even yours, princess. What about how they feel about me? What if some people still believe I killed Chrissy? Or what if they hunt down Steve for actually killing a solider? What if—”

“Honey!”, Steve interrupts as he sits beside him and wraps his arm around his shoulders. “Everything’s going to be ok. We won’t know unless we actually go. Let’s take this one step at a time alright?”

“Steven…you didn’t see what I saw when we were at that other realm. You both were dead. I saw you bleeding in my arms. I can’t…I don’t…I’m scared. And now that I know we have a son to protect, I’m even more on edge.”

“Edward, I agree with Steven. Everything’s going to be alright. When we’re together we can fight anything and I know Ellis would agree.”

Smiling up at you, he pulled you to him as he tenderly kissed your tummy over your shirt.

“Okay, let’s do this.”

After giving him one more peck, Steve rose to his feet and worked his magic to create the portal you needed to go through to their realm. Even with what you could see, it already looked different from the memories they had shown you. The sky seemed a lot clearer and the atmosphere felt more at peace.

The demon stepped through first, completely on guard as he scanned the area around him. Once he gave the go ahead, Eddie followed after him, sighing a pleasure filled sigh when he felt the wind hit his face. They both turned to look at you, extending their hands and you took them both, taking a deep breath as you stepped through.

############

They changed into their demon forms as soon as the portal closed before putting the hooded garment over your head just to be safe because even they weren’t sure what they were walking into.

“Well, one fear down. Good to know Mirage’s potion works.”, Steve smirks. “Now, where to first?”

“My uncles house is just down the way here. Knowing him even in all this time, he’d never move.”, Eddie rolls his eyes playfully making you smile. “We can walk it. I feel like flying right now may draw too much attention.”

Nodding, Steve took your hand as he trailed behind the long-haired demon leading the way. You marveled at the area around you, surprised by how much it genuinely looked like any other small, old Camelot style town. When you showed them The Princess Bride, they had mentioned how some of the set pieces reminded them of home but you thought it was mostly just the castle.

All the memories they had shown you were mostly of the battlefield and the area around their base so seeing their little town made you smile as you pictured small Edward and Steven running around.

After a short walk, you three enter a secluded area out of the way about a good short distance from the town you had just passed through. His uncle’s home was rather compact, looking like it would be bit of a squeeze for you let alone two demons like him and Eddie.

“What?!”, a gruff voice called from the other side of the door that the metalhead had knocked on.

“Open the door, you grumpy old demon!” The sound of the things falling filled your ears before the front door finally squeaked open. “Hey Wayne.”

Without saying a word, his uncle tackled his nephew into a strong bear hug as he held his head to his shoulder. You could see Eddie’s own shoulders shake as he cried wrapping his arms around him tighter.

“I missed you so much, kid.” Pulling him back, he scanned his face as if making sure he was really there and this wasn’t dream. “When I got Y/N’s letter, I still didn’t think it was real that you were safe, but I never gave up hope.”

The young demon’s head turned to you as you softly smiled.

“That day Dustin left, I gave him letters to give to Wayne and Robin telling them what had happened and that you both were free. I just wanted them to know you were okay.”

Cupping your face, Eddie kissed your lips as Steve tilted your head to do the same.

“Wayne, this is Y/N.”

After giving you a big hug as well, he ushers everyone inside to hear all the stories you three had to tell.

***

“Geez, you’re very brave, Y/N. Not many beings let alone humans have gone toe to toe with Henry and survived.”

“I love them and I’d do anything for them, just like I know they would for me.”, you beam as Eddie pets your head.

A knock on his door startles everyone except Wayne who smirks with a slightly mischievous grin.

“Steven, can you get that for me, son?”

When he does what he’s asked, his brows furrow when no one is standing outside. Walking out in the grass, he looks around confused before suddenly disappearing from your view as he’s tackled to the ground. Panicking, you run to help only to find a figure you recognize punching the demon’s arm lightly as he flinches.

“Don’t. You. Ever. Scare. Me. Like. That. Again!”, Robin scolds, hitting him between each word. Smiling wider than you had ever seen, Steve wraps his arms around her and gives her a hug that she reciprocates. “I missed you, Dingus.”

“I missed you to.”

Dusting off her pants, she bounces to her feet before helping him to his.

“You must be Y/N. I’m Robin.”, she smiles, hesitating as she reaches to shake your hand.

“Oh, you can touch me.” To prove your point, you close the distance by giving her a hug as well.

“Wow. You are incredibly soft.”, she muses as she leans forward to hug you again.

“Hey, hey, hey. This one is ours; find your own.”, her friend teases pulling you out of her grasp as you giggle.

***

That night you feigned sleep to allow both boys some private time with the two people they loved most. As you sat on the bed in Eddie’s old room, you couldn’t help but listen as Steve and Robin sit outside, drinking a beer, and talking by a campfire Wayne had made.

“Nah, I’ve been really good. Settled down with this beautiful woman who owns the bar in town. Demons here can still be rude as hell but the town has gotten a lot more tolerant when it comes to beings like me.”

“That’s good to hear. That was one of our concerns about coming back since Eddie and I are together now to.”

“WHAT?!”

His eyes widen as she excitedly pushed up onto her knees waiting for him to tell her more.

“I thought…you knew…Y/N wrote you guys…”

“She wrote me a letter telling me what happened and that you were safe. She didn’t once mentioned that you were in love with Eddie! Oh my god. I’m so happy for you; all of you. Was it kind of awkward the first time with you two?”

“Um, no actually. It kind of felt right, to be honest.”

“Yeah, that guy is a good dude.”

You grinned as they giggled like kids before a throat clearing caught your attention.

“Hey. I hope I’m not disturbing you.”

“No, not at all, Wayne. Come in, please.”

The demon smiled as he entered the room and took a seat beside you as he sighed.

“I just wanted to thank you again for what you did. I, uh, I missed him so much.” Nodding, you circled your arms around his neck and give him a tender hug as he patted your arm with his palm. “I’m sorry, it’s still weird that I can touch you and you’re not scared of any of us in this form. I heard humans can be quite jittery when it comes to demons especially when they look like us.”

“You’re not wrong. I was scared of them when I first saw them but I wanted to get used to them in this form because it’s who they are. To me, they are so handsome and so are you.” Wayne blushes as he sarcastically rolls his eyes making you laugh. “Their personalities also help especially since they are protective and kind to me.”

The demon’s soft red eyes scanned you over as your own gaze shifted away into a memory.

“Eddie told me about Mirage… how you saw them like their fathers. His dad was my brother so I have some insight into how his dad could be. I promise you that kid out there is nothing like that and Steve definitely isn’t anywhere close to Bill.”

“I know. It’s just…so hard to shake the image. It felt so real and I was so…terrified.”

“I can understand that.”

“What was Eddie like, Wayne? Growing up.”

“A bit of a pain in the ass if I’m being honest.”, he jokes as you laugh. “He was always a sarcastic little man with a good heart which Allen hated. Edward kind of always had a knack for music. His mother used to sing to him all the time and play instruments for him. I truly believe he inherited his abilities from her.”

“Oh, so that thing he can do with his guitar…that’s genetic?”

“Kind of. Elizabeth’s voice was always soothing to anyone but not enough to lull them the way his does. I believe he utilized that trait and learned how to wield it the way he does.”

“That means Ellis may have that gift to.”

“So, it’s true? You’re pregnant.”, Wayne asks, grinning when you nod.

Eddie’s uncle flashes you another polite grin before patting your knee and rising to his feet.

“I’ll let you rest but, yeah…I’m glad to have you as a part of our family.”

***

Yawning, you stretch your arms and open your eyes to find your son leaning against the bedroom door.

"Ellis, what are you--"

"Shhhhh!”, he scolds as he waves his hand gesturing you over. As quietly as possible, you climb out of bed and sink down to your knees, placing your ear on the door facing him. “Granma Munson is talking to daddy.”

“I’m scared, mom. What if I turn into what Y/N saw—”

“Edward Munson, you and I both know you are nothing like him.”

“I’m capable of it. I used to be such an asshole. Even when we first met Y/N, I wasn’t exactly kind.”

“Look at what you went through, sweetheart.”, she cooed. “Let me ask you something. In all the time you knew Steven, did you ever hurt him? No? And when you fell in love with him, did that change?”

“No. The thought never even crossed my mind…”

“What about with Y/N?”

“I was always afraid of hurting her because she was so fragile but after what SHE went through… Mom, I just love Ellis so much already and it would kill me if he was ever afraid of me like that.”

“You have nothing to worry about, baby. Trust me. You should meet him. He’s so much like you; funny, sweet, energetic, and very protective of his mom.”

“I-Is he here? I don’t have a…a door…like Y/N.”

Rising to your feet, you take hold of your son’s hand and open the bedroom door, taking slow steps down the hallway as he lags behind.

Elizabeth shifted into her human form and Eddie followed suit without question.

“He’s not quite used to the demon form yet but I imagine growing up seeing you guys as yourself he will.”, she grins as you both come into view. “Ellis, come here and meet my son. He’s the one I’m always talking to you about, remember?”.

“My daddy…”

Eddie releases a shaky breath at the sound of the little boy’s voice as you try and push him lightly forward. The demon’s chocolate hues scan him over, taking in every little detail as his son does the same before a big smile stretches across his face.

“Granma says you’re good with guitars. Will you teach me?”

“Yeah, yeah, buddy. I can teach you. Holy shit.”, he curses as his palm caresses the boy’s face. “You have Steven’s smile.”

“He laughs like you though.”

“Yeah, he does.”, Eddie’s mom agrees with you.

Both beings chuckle at the same time making you two grin as they prove your point. As he did with his other father, Ellis circled his arms around the demon’s neck and his dad promptly held him tightly to him, pressing a soft kiss to his temple.

“I love you, daddy.”

Eddie shot up wrapping his arms around his chest as if he was still clinging to his son. Sitting up beside him, you tried to comfort him as he struggled to catch his breath.

“Where…how… is he…”

“It’s ok, baby. He’s fine, trust me. Everything’s ok.”, you soothe as you rub his back. “Now how did YOU do that?”

“I…I don’t know. Being back here with Wayne and I talking about my mom… I just started dreaming about her and the next thing I know you’re both there.”, he exhales as he runs his fingers through his hair. “He has your voice. It’s so beautiful hearing something so soft come out of…us.”

“What do you mean?”

“We’re not exactly pretty, honey.”, Steve answers as he sits up in bed beside you both. “Everything here, as I’m sure you’ve noticed, is rough. Rough elements, rough exterior, rough tones.”

“It’s part of the reason our kind can be so cocky when it comes to other beings but especially humans. You have your wars and violence but that’s nothing compared to our history. We’re monsters.”

“I don’t think that and you’ve been soft with me before.”

“Because we had to. You’re not fragile anymore. I mean, not that you were exactly. I’m just saying—”

“He’s just saying you experienced the difference after you first drank that stuff.”, Eddie chuckles. “Even the ‘demon way’ wasn’t exactly like that right, princess.”

“We should go see Dustin today. Maybe those little weirdos found out some things. I’m kind of curious myself how he’s blended together.”, Steve mused as he got out from under the covers and started getting dressed. “I mean Ellis has our horns, wings, things like that and your voice but his eyes and skin are a mixture of all three. It’s fascinating.”

“Wait. Steven, I thought, maybe, we’d visit your mom.” The demon freezes in place as you continue to speak. “You haven’t seen her and I’m sure she misses you.”

“Plus, your douchebag dad won’t be there to cause problems. What?!”, Eddie flinches as you lightly smack his arm.

“Um, yeah. I guess…I guess we can do that. Let’s, uh, let’s do that after Henderson’s. I really want to find out more about our son and how this pregnancy will work for you.”

################

Dustin was ecstatic when his friends knocked on his door, beaming wide as he wrapped his arms around you before inviting you three into his home.

It was a modest little dwelling that you would compare to mobile home in your realm. It stretched a good size across his little space of land allowing each his two older boys to have their own room while his twin girls shared a room together. Suzie was a delight, filling you in on some trivia when it came to her and the love of her life while the boy’s talked.

When it was time for the kids to go outside and play, you sat in their living room eating the food you guys had brought along with you as the young demon spread out documents on the floor while the other two demons stood over him.

“To be quite frank, we didn’t find much on demons like us impregnating a human. To be fair, like you said the creepy vision lady told you, humans can’t get pregnant from us unless they have that potion which only two people in existence have. But, we did find some things about other realms having babies with humans and those beings were, in essence, an extension of us, so to speak. Honestly though, I wouldn’t take much stock in it as it sounds like something from a horror story than ground in any kind of reality.”

“So, you found nothing then?”, Steve inquired with a tone.

“Uhhhh, no, but Michael and I did some research into human anatomy. They reproduce similar to us—”

“Obviously.”, Eddie cuts him off making you smirk his way.

“IN THE SENSE OF, they carry for 9 months, feel the kicks, and cravings…all that. Since demon babies aren’t born with all the accessories, she should be able to have him naturally. My concern would only be her health but with the potion, I’m not sure how that works.”

“What do you mean?”, you ask.

“I mean, we don’t know what a being like us can do to a being like you internally. For example, you’re eating food; we don’t eat food.” You immediately pause as you lower the sandwich in your hand. “If we do eat we become incredibly sick like food poisoning so to speak but you need to eat, Y/N, and we aren’t even sure yet if he will want food since he’s half you. The contractions and labor without the potion would have killed you but now…we just don’t know.”

“Did you find out why he looks like both of us? Especially since like you said our reproduction is just like theirs.”, Steve muses as he sits next to you and encourages you to finish your meal.

“Personally, I think it’s just…super sperm.” Both demon’s narrow their eyes at the young boy as you laugh. “I mean, come on. Our little guys are pretty powerful. I’m not surprised both your soldiers got through.”

“Ok, ok.”, Eddie cringes as Dustin shrugs. “Good thing we don’t eat food because if we did mine would be the floor from hearing you say shit like that.”

“No matter what, it seems like it’s all trial and error from this point forward?”

Henderson nods as his eyes meet yours at your question.

“Exactly.”

***

“Geez, I never thought I’d see this house again.”, Steve mutters under his breath as his gaze drifts along his childhood home.

Knocking on the door beforehand to no response, he slowly squeaks it open as the three of you enter the cold feeling mansion. His parents had a gorgeous, Beverly hills style dwelling that seemed just a rung below the castle you had seen in the memories they had provided.

“Mom?!”, Steve shouted and was once again met with silence.

You couldn’t help but smile as your fingers grazed photos of what you assumed was little Steven hugging his mother tightly as she kissed his forehead, his grin almost a duplicate of Ellis. As you unintentionally detached from them, your eyes remained focused on the wall beside you as you took in each photo before you. Gradually, your heart slowly broke as you noticed that smile slowly fade off his face especially in images he shared with his father.

After coming to the end of the hall, you were met with a door you very much recognized. Instead of being tossed through this time, you were able to open it and walk into the study, taking in the fact that it looked exactly the same as Mirage had shown you. Even the maps were still pinned on the wall above a desk that had a bottle of something you presumed to be liquor.

It was almost like one of their memories as you envisioned a tiny, beaming Steve sitting on the floor, playing with toys as quietly as possible while still being near his father, a man he so desperately wanted approval from.

“Goddamn it…JANET HARRINGTON! Come get your loud child out of my study! I’m trying to focus.”

“I’m sorry, daddy. I’m just…trying to practice being a solider like you were!”

“Ugh, stop calling me that. You’re not a baby. Grow the fuck up and you’re not going to be anything playing with childish toys like this! I swear, Steven, you’ll never be good at anything if you don’t use your fucking brain.”

The feeling of a hand on your shoulder startles you as your arms flies and smacks someone hard.

“Ow! Fuck me! It’s ok, Y/N! You’re alright.”, Eddie winces as he holds his palm over his cheek. It takes him a few seconds to realize something was amiss as he watches your eyes dart around the room. “Sweetheart?” As he takes a step forward, you flinch as you fold into yourself and away from him making his heart shatter. “STEVEN!”

Sliding down to the floor, you cover your ears as the long-haired demon helplessly follows your decent as he listens to you whisper to yourself.

“What?! What happened?!”

Without hesitation, Steve falls to his knees and reaches for you to comfort you before pausing when you curl tighter into yourself.

“My Edward and Steven would never hurt me. My Edward and Steven would never hurt me. My…This isn’t real. It isn’t real. Isn’t real…”

“Y/N, honey, it’s us. It’s ok. Everything is ok. This isn’t one of Mirage’s test, baby. We beat her. YOU beat her. It’s ok.”

Red light flashes as Eddie shifts into his human and Steve quickly follows suit.

“Look at us, princess. The demon’s you met and fell in love with. We’re right here and you’re right, baby, we’d never hurt you.”

After a few more moments, you blink and look up to meet their soft, worried faces. Abruptly, your arms circle tightly around Eddie’s neck and his hand pets your head as he feels your hands shake against his back.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hit you. I just—”

“Shhhh, hey, it’s ok, Y/N. Everything is ok.”

“Steven?”

The demon turns at the sound of his mother’s voice as he, out of habit, rises to his feet to greet her.

“Mom. Hey. I hope it’s alright that we—”

Her arms wrapping tightly around him cutting him off as she presses her head to his chest and sobs.

“I never thought I’d ever see you again.”, she whispers as the demon holds her tightly to him.

***

Steve picks up the funeral picture of his father as he grimaces at the formal image. His dad had posed for this photo long ago due to his occupation stating that when he died this is the image he wanted displayed above his grave and in the halls of fallen soldiers.

“I keep that one by his armor because I know that’s what he would have wanted.”, his mom explains as she offers him a drink that he declines.

“How did he…?”

“He would tell you in battle but truth of the matter is he was old and sick. After everything… he, um, on his last day he insisted on fighting and took out a good few of the enemy before passing.”

“Hm. You see it as honor, I see it as stupidity. He raised me to be a solider and as one I can assure you him doing that could have put his command in danger.”

“So, that’s your girlfriend out there? She seems nice. A bit timid but—”

“She’s been through a lot but I assure she’s incredibly strong.”, Steve sighs as he leans against the desk and folds his arms. “Why are you still here, mom? This place is too big for you to be alone.”

“This is where you grew up, sweetie. I have so many good memories here with you and your dad.”

“Yeah but more bad than good. I hate the idea of you being alone surrounded by all that.”

“I’m not alone anymore though. You’re home.”

“We aren’t staying here.” Her eyes shoot up and lock with his at his words. “I mean, the three of us need to talk about where we are staying exactly but I don’t think it’s good for the four of us especially Y/N to be in this realm after what I just saw.”

“Four?”

“Yeah. You’re, um, about to be a grandma.”

Her shocked expression paints her face as she gets up and refills the liquor in her glass.

“She’s a human.”

“She fought for a way to be with us forever because of that we were able to—”

“No, Steven, I mean…she’s a human. Your father would roll over in his grave if he found out you were starting a family with someone beneath you. You deserve so much better, baby.”

The demon blinks as he gathers his thoughts, not surprised by her reaction but still bewildered after everything they had been through that she could still side with his father. Shaking his head, he started to walk away but she quickly got up to stop him.

“Please, sweetheart. I’m just telling you the truth. You’ve been away for so long. Why don’t you just let Edward have her and the baby and you can stay here with me for a few years. Trust me, you’ll realize we were right and you can settle down with a nice girl—”

Yanking out of her hold, he stalks down the hallway, his eyes glowing a bright red as he turns into the living room where Eddie was holding you to allow you some time to breathe while he talked to his mother.

“Come on. We’re leaving.”

“Is everything alright?”

Another set of red glowing eyes entered the area as Steve’s mom growled and poked the demon’s chest hard.

“Everything is not alright! You took my son away from us by meddling where you didn’t belong! You are just like your peasant father causing problems everywhere you go! Goodness, the hubris you must have to meddle with lives above your station! Do him a favor, take your human, and that thing and leave my son alone!”

All three demons in the room glared at each other as yours stood protectively in front of you.

“My son isn’t a thing and neither was yours.”, you sighed in frustration as you shoved your body between them to place yourself in front of his mom. “I saw it… I’ve seen Steven’s memories. All the pain you both put him through but especially you. More than anything he just wanted you to stand up for him and defend him against his dad but every time he called him stupid or made him feel worthless, you did nothing. Even when he went missing, his friends went looking for him but not you two. Why?”

His mom exhaled as her eyes softened.

“Bill said this was his punishment. After he killed a fellow solider and deserted with a murderer…he deserved to be banished.”

“You didn’t want to even find out what happened? Learn where he was?”

“I was afraid of what I would find...”

“Hm. And I’m weak.”, you sass.

Her eyes glowed again as she turned towards you and you matched her as you stepped forward.

“Hey, no. Come on. Let’s get out of here.”, Steve encouraged as he grabbed your arm.

“Steven, please!”, his mom begged.

Chuckling under his breath, he turned to face her.

“You insulted the two people I love and called my son a thing. I’d rather go back in that fucking stone then stay here.”

###############

Something loud crashing into the wall shakes you from sleep as you sit up in bed and hastily run out into the living room of the home you had been visiting so many times in your dreams. The are was trashed with furniture flipped and glass broken everywhere. As you looked around you, Steve and Eddie skidded into the area as their eyes scanned yours trying to figure out what’s going on.

You glance down a hallway and bolt towards the sound of chaos before coming to a dead stop when you round the corner, finding a tiny frame hurtling a bed out the window.

“Ellis!” The little demon turned around at the sound your voice, his glowing eyes immediately calming as he runs to your arms. “Sweetheart, what happened?”

As both his fathers came into view, his eyes glowed again as he placed his small body in front of your own.

“You…LIED!”, he growled as he pointed their way.

“Buddy—”

Eddie pushed Steve out of the way and to the ground as a large object flew in their direction.

“You said we were safe with you!”

“You are, Ellis! We would never hurt you or your mom.”

“LIAR!”

As he charged their way, you quickly placed your body in front of theirs.

“Hey! This is not how we behave when we’re upset. We talk to each other. Now, what happened?”

The little boy roared towards the ceiling as he expanded his wings and flew out the bedroom door. Steve was faster, practically tackling him while still protecting him with his body as they both hit the floor. Ellis tried to wiggle out of his hold but his father remained steadfast as he held him to his chest.

“You know I used to destroy my makeshift house to when I was angry.”, he said softly in a human tone as he shifted. “Your dad spent sooooo many years listening to me cry and throw things but do you know what helped me? Knowing I could talk to him and he’d listen. Knowing that he loved me no matter how angry I got.”

You and Eddie sat on the floor in front of them both as he continued to try and squirm away but with less force than before.

“You lied. You said you wouldn’t hurt us. Mommy was afraid of you both. I felt it!”, the boy shouted as he pointed towards your tummy.

“Baby, I…that’s a little complicated to explain. I’m not afraid of them. I promise, these two demons here would do anything to keep you and I protected.”

“But, mommy, it was strong and I was so worried about you! Granpa and granma said you were ok but I told them they have to say dat because they are your mommy and daddy.”

“That’s very fair. Grandma used to say your grandfather spoiled me too much.”, you giggle making a small smirk appear on his lips. “When I was your age, I used to get hurt all the time but grandpa always reminded me that my mom was a ballerina. If someone who can dance on their tip toes can fall and get back up then I definitely could.”

“On her tip toes?”, he asked with wide eyes.

Grinning, you rose to your feet bringing Eddie with you as you clung to his arm.

“Oh, I may be too old for this now.”, you laugh as you try and balance onto your toes before stumbling into the demon’s chest.

“Wow. You suck at this.”, the long-haired demon teases in a light tone.

“Oh, ok, Mr. Guitarist. You try it.”

Ellis and Steve laugh as he obnoxiously raises his hands in the air like a typical ballerina and tries to do the move until stumbling over himself.

“Look, I work with my fingers not my toes.”

Taking your son’s hand, you bring him beside you as you four continue try and fail. After falling to the ground, he cackles as he grabs his stomach.

“Maybe only angels can do it!”

His words hit you hard but you shoved down the emotion as you kneel down in front of him.

“Ellis, your mom and dads have been through so many adventures, some good and some not so good. Those not so good ones…can leave an impression sometimes.”

“But no matter what we’re here for you both, bud.”

“It’s our job to watch over you and I promise, kid, we would never let anything happen to either of you…because we know what it’s like to not feel safe.”

“Because of your daddies?” The blink completely taken by surprise. “Your daddy called me a thing and granma Munson told me your daddy wasn’t very nice.”

“Yeah, Ellis. He wasn’t.”

“You’re not a thing. I hope you know that.”, Steve urges as he reaches out to pet his curls. “You’re perfect.”

“Granpa says I’m a mir-ack-cle!”

The three of you slowly open your eyes and as soon as you do, you begin to sob. Both demons pull you back between them and hold you tightly as they coo soft words to comfort you.

***

The rest of that morning you remained silent as you thought about everything that had transpired. The visions Mirage showed you that scared you and Steve’s parents degrading your son and their own just because he loved you and Eddie. You thought about how angry Ellis had been and how it killed you to see him in pain but you loved the fact that your parents were getting to spend time with him especially since they wouldn’t be in your world to see him grow up.

“Seeing you two dead scared me.”, Eddie responds abruptly as your eyes find his and Steve props up on his elbow behind you. “I still think about it to…pretty much every day if I sit still long enough. I used to dream about it but I prefer these past few dreams more.”, he softly smiles. “Y/N, you were right where she was… just fucking gone and again I couldn’t do fucking anything. I couldn’t…I couldn’t bring you back.”

“Steven, when we fought together, you rarely if ever got hurt. But you were next to Y/N…there was blood everywhere…I can still hear you telling me to run…begging me…” The demon’s jaw tightened as he tried to keep the memory at bay as the tears threatened to fall. “I couldn’t protect my mom or Chrissy. I couldn’t protect Steve from Maeve. Then I saw you both there and I kept thinking that little ballerina girl is right; everything is my fault.”

“Edward—“, you coo, gently as you reach up to caress his face.

“His mom said what she said and it hit a nerve.”

“Don’t listen to my mom, baby. Trust me. That woman has been miserable most of her life. I’ve never doubted that she loved me but, I don’t know, I think her love for my father and what he provided was greater.”, Steve sighed. “I, um, I still get terrified sometimes that this is all a dream and Eddie and I are going to wake up back in the stone…or I’m going to be alone. Mirage’s test felt so real…I wonder if this is my delusional dream. That I’m with you two and we’re having a baby. That you’re going to be able to live as long as we do and I can go home.”

When his voice cracks your heart breaks and sit up to wrap your arm around him.

“What killed me was not only not being able to even say goodbye to Edward but in her vision, Y/N, I fucking left him there. I abandoned him to be alone… When you ran, Ed, the thought of you being alone somewhere with the pain of what happened hurt me then but now after everything…”

Eddie sat up as well, cupping Steve’s cheek in his palm as they tenderly kissed each other before his lips tilted to the side to kiss away his tears.

“Y/N, you’re not alone in feeling what you feel. Even we understand that what we all saw wasn’t real but it was real to us. She played with our past to test us and… fuck…if she can do that no wonder she’s in a realm by herself.”, the long-haired demon soothes as he leans back to pet your head. “We know you aren’t afraid of us but if you ever need a moment or us to step back and give you space, we understand.”

Biting your bottom lip in thought you nodded before flashing them a comforting smile.

“I like your uncle. He was telling me some things about little Edward and how much of a rebel you were. He said your mom kind of had the gift that you do so maybe Ellis might get it.”

They both grin as you three lean against the headboard.

“Yeah, that would be cool. Can you imagine his soft voice lulling people? You kind of have it to you know. I mean not much but it was enough to calm me and him down.”

“Robin was telling me stories about you two training together. She said you tried to be intimidating the first time you met but she just laughed at you.”

“She definitely did and made fun of me but she’s incredibility smart. Robin saved my ass more than a couple of times. My dad hated her, thought she was too sloppy.”

“I’m sorry you grew up with them, Steven and you Edward with your dad. Seeing him, Ellis, stand up for me the way he did reminded me of—”

“Yeah, me to. Me to, sweetheart.”, he sighed kissing your temple.

“I’m glad he’s spending time with your parents though, Y/N. Proves, like you, he’s a little angel. Oh, oh no. Honey, I’m sorry.”, he tried to comfort when you started to cry again.

“No, no. I’m glad to. I just miss them so much.”

“I know, baby.”

“At least we know he has one gift for sure; a door like you.”, Eddie smiles as he points to your forehead. “That’s how he can talk to them right? You’ve done that with your dreams before.”

“Can you play something, Ed? Something…soft.”

Thinking for a moment, he nods and hastily gets out of bed to grab his acoustic guitar nearby. As he strums his fingers, you feel your anxieties melt away as you keen into Steve’s chest.

“Heaven, I'm in heaven And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak And I seem to find the happiness I seek When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek.”

You giggle as Eddie shuffles his shoulders in his seat, dancing to the Cajun music that plays across the street from the restaurant you guys were visiting in New Orleans.

“I wish you guys could eat. The food here is so delicious.”

“Yeah? When we were here the boy that found us used to eat this thing with bananas and this brown sauce. It looked interesting.”, Steve grins as he watches you glow with every bite.

“The music here is fantastic! You want to dance with me, babe?”, the long-haired demon asks.

“Oh God, no. I’m not good at it!”

“Even better. Come on, pretty girl.”

Steve cackles as Eddie yanks you to your feet, wrapping his arms around your waist as you hug him and laugh.

“Yes, heaven, I'm in heaven And the cares that hung around me through the week Seem to vanish like a gambler's lucky streak When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek.”

“It’s so insane how they do theater now adays!”, Steve stated excitedly as the three of you exited the auditorium. “I totally did not expect that chandelier to fall down into the stage.”

“Really though and how did they get the phantom to disappear from his chair at the end?”

“I assume you liked it then.”, you reply, grinning at their excitement.

“We did. Wow. The last time we saw a play was back when Shakespeare was pretty much the norm and the theaters themselves were in a coliseum type place.”

“They still have those. You can find outside venues here but we’ll have to make a stop in Rome and check out the coliseums there.”

“As long as we’re with you, sweetheart, we’ll follow you anywhere.”, Eddie claims fondly reaching for your hand as Steve pulls you to his side.

“Oh I love to climb to mountain And reach the highest peak But it doesn't thrill me half as much As dancing cheek to cheek.”

Having lost them for a moment in the museum, you find both demons glaring at a painting of men pushing a woman towards what looks to be a town square with a long pole surrounded by hay in the middle.

“Eddie? Steve? Is everything ok?” They don’t respond but you hear a small growl emanate from them as they exhale. Sighing yourself in empathy, you lean against the wall in front of them. “It’s not your fault…what happened to Lizzy.”

“With Lizzy, she actually committed the crime. She hurt so many people… These women…THIS woman…did nothing wrong.”, Eddie murmurs as his eyes gesture towards the young lady in the painting.

“Kind of like people back home. So many innocent men and women…children…put through a war or on trial for something they didn’t do or couldn’t control.”, Steve responds as memories flash through his mind.

“Like you.” They both rumble again, closing their eyes to keep their glowing irises from exposing them. “They didn’t even give you a chance to explain. Your king pointed a finger and you were found guilty even though the charge made no sense. Like you said…you were in a war…it makes more sense for Henry to have killed Chrissy than you, Edward. But it was your king’s idea to have them both be engaged… he couldn’t handle that notion so it was easier to blame you…banish you.”

“Steven, you are not like these men.”, you point towards the villagers. “You listened to reason and tried to find the truth if you could. The demon you were with that day blindly believed your best friend was guilty and ignored an order to bring him back alive. You did what you had to.”

Swallowing the tears that wanted to fall, Eddie was the first to open his and pull you into his embrace.

“I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you to, baby.”, Steve adds as he wraps his arms around your waist.

“I love you both.”

As soon as your eyes focused back on your current reality, Steve collected you in his arms till you were sitting on his lap and his palm guided your lips to his. He held your lower back as you grinded against him while a now fully naked Eddie helped disrobe you both. Clinging to his neck, you sunk yourself down on to the demon’s cock, the two of you holding each other tightly as if you’d disappear if one of you let go.

“Ed…Edward…”

“I’m right here, princess. I’m not going anywhere.”, he answered in a gentle tone as his lips pecked along your shoulder. Placing his fingers under his chin, he turned his partners head and moaned as his lips passionately kissed his own.

“Please—oh fuck—please Steven.”

Lifting you up, he flips you on to your stomach, sliding his length back inside you, and pushes your legs together as he roughly thrusts his hips. Eddie’s hand comes into your view, moving and playing with your hair so he can see your face as your eyes roll back. Keening into his touch, you listen to the pleasant sounds of Steve’s pants and the other demon’s needy moans as he slowly strokes his own cock.

“So beautiful, sweetheart.”

“St-Steven—mmm—Steven please. Harder. Closer.”

Placing open mouth kisses up your spine along the way, he lays flat against you and circles his arms underneath you as he rolls his lower half into yours.

“I’m here to, baby. I’d never hurt you and I’d never abandon you. Fuck, honey, you feel so fucking good. Is this hard enough? Do you need it harder? Tell me, baby girl. I’ll give you anything.”, he whispers, groaning when your pussy clenches at his words.

“Feels…feels good. I’m gonna…”

“Me to, pretty girl. Just hold—mmph—just hold on tight to Edward, baby.”

As the other demon intertwines his fingers with yours, Steve pumps into you faster making sure to still keep himself as close to you as possible. Your body shutters under his as you cum and he growls in pleasure at the feeling before releasing his spend deep inside of you.

Falling to your side, he moves out of the way to allow Eddie to take what’s his as well but the long-haired demon looks at you with confused eyes when you suddenly place your hand on his chest, stopping him as he attempts to climb on top of you.

“Are you ok, baby?”, he whispers as he kisses your lips lightly.

Without saying a word, you nod before maneuvering them to face each other. When their normal demon eyes meet, Eddie smirks as he takes Steve in his arms and places him on his lap.

“I’m sorry my family can’t see how special you both are. You’re nothing like your father, Edward.”

“Neither are you, sweetheart.”

Steve mewled loudly as he guided himself down on to his partner, slowly grinding against him and allowing Eddie’s length to nudge at that soft spot inside of him.

“I’d never leave you. I’d never leave you behind anywhere but especially not there.”, he whispered.

“I know, baby. Fuck. I know.”

“Y-You’re not a freak and you’re not a-a peasant. You’re perfect. You both are. I’d—FUCK—I’d make all the same choices again if it always led me to you two.”

Placing his forehead on his own, Steve bounced harder against him as his palms cupped his face.

“That’s it, Steve. Everything’s ok. As long as the three of us are together, we’re ok.”

The abrupt feeling of your lips on his skin made Eddie groan as he turned towards you to see your own fingers trying to keep up with the other demon’s pace as you thrust them inside of your sensitive cunt.

Quickly licking his own digits, he forced your hand out of the way and took over pleasuring you as the sound of your slick filled the room.

“Atta girl. Ride my fingers. Fuck…my two favorite beings riding me. Cum again, Steven. I l-like hearing that whine when you’re sensitive.”

With his free palm holding his lower back, Eddie encouraged his rhythm and intensity till the other demon whimpered weakly as his seed painted both their stomachs.

“Good. Good boy.”

Your own mewl grabbed their attention and both demons watched your nails dug into his shoulder as the coil snapped. You both follow Eddie down against the mattress, kissing and sucking on his neck as he thrusts his hips upwards, chasing his own release until grunting as he coated his boyfriend’s insides with his spend.

You weren’t sure how long the three of you clung to each other afterwards but you were grateful for every minute, thankful that these two were yours.

“I don’t want us to raise Ellis in our realm.” Steve’s sudden announcement sliced through the quiet as you two turned to look at him. “After what happened with Y/N and the way my mom was talking about him… I just think it would be better if he grew up here.”

Silently, you sat up to face them as you absorbed what he was saying.

“You two would have to have your masks up a lot and so would he.”

“When it comes to us, sweetheart, it’s fine. I mean we can be ourselves with you and then with him in private. I’m not going to lie though trying to explain that to a child is going to be difficult.”, Eddie sighs.

“I don’t want him to be ashamed of who he is but I get what Steve is saying. Maybe, we can just play it by ear. Stay here back home in Hawkins and then when he hits that age we can talk about if we’d want to stay or move. He seems very articulate. He could tell us where he would feel comfortable.”

“I think that’s a good idea, babe, and of course Steve, we can go between and watch him. See if he’s more comfortable and happy here or in our realm. Plus, that way Wayne, Robin, and Henderson can see him.”

“Yeah of course. I didn’t mean it like I never want him to be there. Ellis has people in his life who don’t care about us being together or how different he may be. It’s everyone else I’m worried about. He’s not even here yet and two people have already called him names. I don’t like it.”

“I understand. Let’s…let’s focus on what we can right now. There’s so much we need and things to prepare for before he gets here. We also may need to discuss a source of income. My dad left me a good amount but that won’t last with a baby.”

Eddie pets your head as Steve leans forward to kiss your lips.

“Come on, princess. Let’s get you showered and fed. Tonight we relax, tomorrow we head back to Hawkins.”

###############

@tlclick73 @tiannamortis @steeldaisies @goodhappyfriday @paleidiot @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes

@strangerthings64 @howlingco @eddiesguitarskills

@prettypeachsworld @nailbatanddungeon @notlempet

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heyidkyay · 1 year

Text

Who can say no to bridezilla? |

Part one

I had to write another after seeing the love the last one got, thank you btw! I've actually missed writing a fair bit so I'm glad you enjoyed it.

> With this one, I started and just couldn't stop, so I might make it into a couple of parts? Maybe? Idk, let me know if that's something anyone would want:)

Summary: With no date to your sister's wedding, what are you to do? No worries though, she's already got it covered, well, sort of...

Masterlist

"It's just annoying. I mean- don't get me wrong, I'm proper chuffed you're finally tying the knot and all, but it's just a shitty situation.” I huffed defeatedly as I leant up against the cabinet, watching as a grey sky crept by my kitchen window.

“I know,” I heard my sister sigh, her voice soft even through the phone’s tinny speaker. “And I’m sorry, but you know what mum’s like, y/n/n. She’ll be devastated when she finds out you’re coming alone! That, and the fact that if you don’t end up bringing a plus one, all of my wedding photos will turn out uneven… And I really, really need this day to be perfect! I want you to think its perfect! To enjoy it! Not just be sat there on the sidelines, watching.”

I closed my eyes for a long moment as I ran a hand through my hair. It was in dire need of a good wash, but between my job and the stress of having recently moved, I hadn’t found the time to even sit down. Still, I could understand where my sister was coming from, and I really wanted her to have the picture perfect day she’d always dreamt of too. But, we both knew that she was laying it on thick now, and with me being the eldest, we both also knew I’d do just about anything to make her happy. This though, was a big ask.

“Listen, yes things ended badly between Alex and I, but now that it’s all finally over, I just don’t think I have it in me to try and force myself to find someone else to replace him. Not yet, anyway.”

Alex, being my most recent ex. We’d parted ways about three months ago now- though ‘parted’ definitely wasn’t the term I preferred to use. But how else was I supposed to describe him cheating and me having to walk in on it happening? With my best mate of all people, too.

Yeah, that hadn’t been the easiest of transitions, especially since I’d also been flat-sharing with the pair of them.

But my sister knew all of this already.

“Mum will just have to worry about me being lonely a little longer, y/s/n, and I'll just have to prepare myself to deal with her constant fussing over me for the entire evening.” I attempted to cajole, not wanting to outright deny her. “As well as the rest of my life, I suppose.” I added unhelpfully under my breath.

It wasn’t that I didn’t love my mum, God, she was just about the only person who truly understood me. That, and she’d done absolutely everything within her power to make sure that her kids had gotten everything she'd never had. She was an utter saint. But saying that, she could also tend to be a tad bit… overbearing.

“Ah come on, she won’t be that bad!” My sister fired back before she then paused, as though she’d only just understood the words she’d spoken. I couldn’t not let out an airy chuckle when she sighed, “Alright, fair enough, she will be. But! If you just ask someone along, you won’t have to spend my entire wedding day avoiding her!”

I groaned, rubbing at my face.

“It’s been months since I ended things with Al- mum knows that, babe. I’ve had her on the phone almost every day since, hassling and FaceTiming me constantly to make sure I’m still alive. She even sends down little care packages in the post! Care. Packages. Y/s/n.”

I actually looked over towards the most recent arrival which had awoken me early the previous morning. It was still where I’d left it, chucked beside the foot of the sofa, barely opened.

Again, I adored the woman, but she tended to be a fair bit dramatic. I could really see where my sister got it all from.

“Besides, how am I supposed to convince her I'm perfectly fine with someone I've only just met hanging off my arm?” I added, puttering on over to the sink to fill the kettle. I think I could feel another migraine coming on.

“I get it, y/n, I do. And I’m also sorry for suggesting it, but if I knew of an easier solution that would magically solve all our problems, then I would. But I don’t, and even though I want the biggest day of my life to go perfectly, I also want you happy.”

I could hear the sincerity in her voice and as I picked up my mug and tossed a teabag inside, I could also picture her sat at the dinning table back home, foot anxiously tapping away in an attempt to conjure up a better idea. She was a nitpicker, right down to the very bone, and I could only guess the amount of stress she was putting herself under in order to make sure that her wedding went off without a hitch for all those involved.

After a few moments of shared silence, she spoke again, “To be honest, I can’t believe you stuck around as long as you did.”

My mind wandered back to all the time I’d wasted on Alex. We’d met growing up, he’d been our next door neighbour. We went through all of primary school despising one another, only to end up in the same friendship group come secondary. It didn’t take much more than that for us to suddenly become joined at the hip. He’d been my best mate, and when we finally got together, I’d pictured the rest of our lives spent with one another.

He’d honestly really fucked me over in the end. I hadn’t just lost my boyfriend that day, but both of my closest friends, as well as a few others who’d taken his side in the awkward aftermath that came when most relationships ended. But that being said, I felt more at peace now than I had in a long while. With every relationship came troubles, and by the end of ours, I guessed we had more than most. That wasn’t me making excuses for him though- nah, he was still a massive prick.

“Yeah, me either.” I admitted, a breathy chuckle slipping from my lips as I softly shook away the rest of my thoughts.

“I am proud of you though, for moving on as well as you have. Always knew he was an arse.” Came my sister’s voice and I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped me.

I grinned, so very thankful for her.

“God, was he!” I agreed instantly, listening to her giggle as I laughed, “A right tit.”

“Oh!”

I blinked at the sudden exclamation heard from down the phone and furrowed my brow slightly as the last of my laughter tittered out, “You alright there?”

“Uh, yes! I’ve just had the most perfect idea!” My sister declared, not even giving me the chance to question her before she was off on a tangent. “Forget about having to chat anyone up, or having some godawful colleague of yours to pose as a fake date- I’ve already got the perfect person for you!”

I felt my mouth part slightly in confusion and was just about to speak up when she beat me to the punch, seemingly excited about whatever plan she’d formulated in her head.

“Right, okay, just listen. I know this guy, a friend of Adam’s, yeah? He’s been off of relationships for a little while now, not really looking for anything at the moment ‘cause he’s been away for a bit. Busy, and what not. But y/n, he’s a right charmer, proper looker, too! He also happens to owe Ad a big favour!”

I closed my eyes for a moment, frowning. “What are you getting at here, y/s/n?”

The huff that sounded then, all but echoed in my ear and I couldn’t not roll my eyes at her dramatics.

“He can be your date, y/n! I know he’d be well up for helping us out if I give him free-rein to do what he pleases, always up for a laugh, and he'll be able to keep mum off your back about finding someone new. Plus, I can guarantee you a good time because I just know that the two of you will instantly hit it off.”

“What?” I squawk, far beyond perplexed. “You can’t just ask some randomer to pretend to be my date to your wedding, y/s/n! Are you actually insane?”

“He’s not some randomer though! I know him through Adam, and Adam’s known him since school!” My sister pestered, and I could practically feel her excitement bubbling up from down the phone. “He’s well lovely, nothing like He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named— Plus! When we were first introduced, I’d had the thought of setting him up with you, but well, you know, you were still with What’s-his-face and you seemed happy enough.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, to be frank. And went to say as much, when she cut me off again.

“Come on, y/n/n! It’ll be so great! And besides, who would it hurt? You’re both single, not looking for any sort of commitment, and both without dates to my wedding. Mum’ll be over the moon about it, too, once I let her know! And this way, I won’t have to fork out God knows how much on another two plus ones.”

“I’m really not sure about- hang on, he’s already going?” I questioned, confusedly.

“He’s Adam’s best mate, of course he’s coming!”

“I thought Ad’s best mate was George?”

Her eye roll was implied when she retorted. “You can have more than one best mate, y/n. Look, you worry too much. I’ll have Ad phone him now and ask, yeah? If he agrees, I’ll get him to message you.” I was still beyond fucking baffled and could hear the obvious delight which lined my sister’s tone. “That settles it, I’ll do it right now. So talk to you later, yeah? God, I'm so excited! Love you lots!”

Then she was gone.

I let the phone fall away from my ear and stared down at the blank screen with vacant eyes.

What the fuck.

“What the actual fuck?” I found myself asking my empty flat aloud. I rubbed at my forehead tiredly before I ultimately tossed the device onto the pile of cushions perched on the nearest armchair, leaving it there to hopefully die, or something.

Didn’t quite turn out that way though. I ended up fishing it out about an hour later when I’d started running a bath, needing it for it’s musical capabilities.

It was then, after the tub had filled and I’d slipped into its mountain of bubbles, that a notification disturbed the perfect playlist I’d curated.

I grumbled as I pulled myself up and out of the water.

It was a text from an unknown number, I frowned as I unlocked the device.

“Oh, for fucks sake!”

I hadn’t actually believed that she would do it. Ask someone to be her sister’s fake date to her own wedding! But I really, really, really should’ve known better.

And so I tossed the phone back on the side, submerging my body in its entirety back under the soapy water in hopes that I might just drown. She was so dead.

—

Maybe I’d been a tad bit hasty in scheduling the perfectly timed event of my sister’s impending death.

Listen, I could admit when I was being a total drama queen, but my sister had well and truly pushed her luck this time around, and so I’d been quick in my judgement of the situation. Perhaps a little too quick.

Several weeks had passed since that day and in the time leading up to my sister’s wedding, I had spent a good portion of it texting Matty back and forth.

That was his name, by the way- the poor bloke my sister had roped into accompanying me on her big day. And if I was being honest, I was rather grateful for the fact that she’d chosen to stick her big nose in where it wasn’t wanted and set the whole thing up. Though, I might have been better inclined to admit so if she’d been a whole lot more normal and just introduced the two of us in a much more conventional way.

When Matty had texted me that first night- rather delighted by the fact that he’d been gifted the privilege of a front row ticket to the shit-show I was still calling my life- I’d been dreading the entire thing.

He had taken the utter piss out of me in all truth, and had then proceeded to rinse the shit out of the entire situation for all it was worth. But, strangely enough, he’d done so in the very best way.

I can honestly admit that I don’t think I’ve ever laughed as hard as I have than when I’m messaging Matty. He was everything my sister had described and more.

He knew how to have a good laugh, when to flirt or to tease, and he was pretty open about the things that mattered most to him once you’d bartered your way past that overzealous ego of his. He also appeared to love music almost as much as me, which was honestly saying something. And he spoke highly of his family and friends, in length too when they had come up here and there in conversation.

I really hadn’t expected to have grown so close to him in the time we’d spent texting back and forth, but there was just something about him, in his nature maybe, that just made things feel so easy.

It was so, so strange, because I hadn’t even seen a picture of the bloke, and I’d only ever heard a few short snippets of his voice through the odd voicenote we'd shared here and there, but I’d openly call him a close friend to any one who now asked. It was as though we’d known each other for years.

And I really wasn’t one to let many people in, I liked the small family I had created for myself, one full of friends I’d known for eons, and relatives that meant the world to me. So to have Matty slip by all of my defences so effortlessly, was something I thought a lot about.

“Oi,” Jamie suddenly prompted with a bright grin, a jabbing finger to my side untangled me from my thoughts. "You ready for the big day?

I’d been stood a little way a way from the chapel’s entrance, waiting for everyone else to arrive, and was seemingly a little lost in my own head. Apprehensive, maybe. Jamie had startled me slightly as I’d not even heard his approach, but I allowed myself to relax somewhat as I gave him the once over.

“Just about.” I replied with a teasing smile, “Clean up nice, Jim. Loving the suit.”

Jamie was my cousin, but we were so close in age I practically saw him as another brother. We’d grown up together, which also meant that he’d been close with Alex too.

Though, he’d actually been one of the few people who had taken my side after everything that happened, even with the two boys having been rather close since they were kids. I was glad to still have him, so glad, even if it did mean that I still felt a little guilty about the whole thing from time to time.

“Don’t look too surprised.” Jamie laughed at my light jab as he pulled me in for a short hug. “Though, you are looking good too, I suppose.”

I swatted at his shoulder when we parted. “Don’t be a twat, you know I’m the best dressed here.”

“Oh yeah…” He dragged out sarcastically, a small smirk playing on his lips. “Definitely ready to upstage the bride.”

I just rolled my eyes as I laughed. “Where is bridezilla anyway?”

“Just saw her with your mum, actually. They were fussing about something or other, but I reckon they ended up sorting it out.” Jamie replied with a small shrug as he pulled on his lapels.

I let my eyes roam around the surrounding area again for a brief moment as he did, skirting over the mass of maple trees, which were now in full bloom, and the familiar faces that crowded the gravel drive.

“Exactly why I can never see myself going through with any of this.” I commented offhandedly, too preoccupied with the anxiety of finally meeting my so called date.

My gaze found Jamie’s again when he wearily voiced, “What- even when you were with…?” His voice held a hint of genuine curiosity.

I shrugged, in truth, I’d never really given it much thought, my wedding day. Even after having been with Alex all that time. I could just never see it happening for myself.

“Not really.” I said, “How about you though? Can you picture yourself all kitted out and waiting at the end of that aisle?”

Jamie laughed, his eyes squinted. “Not too sure about that. I mean I like the sound of it, spending forever with someone and all, but I dunno who’d be brave enough to have me.”

I snorted as I clapped my cousin’s shoulder in condolence. “They’d have to be a tad bit mental, Jim. But they’d also be fucking lucky too. You’re a gooden.”

“Love you.” Jamie smiled as he enveloped me in another hug. He was a lot taller than me now so he all but squished me into his side, but I couldn’t bring myself to mind even as I jokingly shoved him away.

“Stop, you’ll ruin my hair and makeup.” I scolded lightly, wrinkling my nose.

Jamie just chuckled, “Since when have you cared about any of that crap?”

“Never.” I grinned back at him in retort, “Just didn’t want you sliming all over me, snail-face.”

“You’re a right fucking weirdo, you know that?”

“I do, Jim, I do.”

I fixed the side of my dress whilst my cousin just rolled his eyes, seemingly content with waiting beside me now.

When I’d made sure that I was still somewhat presentable, mostly for both my mother and sister’s sake, I allowed myself to reevaluate the rest of the oncoming arrivers. Still no sign of that date of mine.

I sighed quietly, checking the time on my phone again to make sure I hadn’t missed a text.

“You all good there?” Jamie questioned quietly after a few minutes, I looked up to find him staring down at me with a concerned frown.

I hummed, “Fine, why?”

“Just seem a bit nervous, not like you that.”

I huffed a light laugh before shooting my cousin a somewhat strained smile. “Yeah, maybe a bit. It’s just I’m waiting for my date to arrive and-”

As I uttered that sentence Jamie’s eyes all but boggled out of his head, “You never said nowt about a date!”

I gave him a sheepish grin, I hadn’t really mentioned Matty to anyone. Only having allowed my sister to pass on the message that I wasn’t turning up completely alone to my mum. I’d not given much thought to anyone else’s reaction.

“Um, yeah.” I replied, feeling a little uncomfortable upon having to mentally decide whether I should let Jamie in on the truth or not. The kid had always been a massive blabbermouth though, he just couldn’t seem to help it, but I knew he’d understand wholeheartedly. “It's new, but it’s going good…”

Jamie’s smile was wide enough that I could practically see either side of his molars, a megawatt sort of thing.

Immediately I felt my stomach churn. There was that guilt again.

“I’m well chuffed for you, y/n/n! Can’t wait to meet the lucky fella- when’s he set to get here? Didn’t you come together? Where’d you even meet him, anyhow? Does y/s/n know you’re bringing him along?”

Fucking hell, what was with the twenty-one questions?

I swallowed thickly. I hadn’t realise how hard this was all going to be. Was the rest of the day going to be like this? All consuming guilt?

“Er, should be here soon enough, I think.” I found myself saying, playing with one of the rings on my left hand. “Something came up last minute- his mum needed him. Urgent, you know how it is… and he’s a right mummy’s boy that one! So I suggested he just meet me here, and well, he was grateful. Felt really bad though. Promised he wouldn’t be late and all that.”

Jamie seemed to be eating it up and just kept nodding along, making me feel as though I had to continue on.

“We actually met through y/s/n, weirdly enough. She introduced us when I’d popped round to surprise her a while back. He’s close with Adam, best mates and that. We just hit it off I guess.”

I silently cursed myself and my ability to not know when to stop. fucking. rambling. But I was too nervous to think up a believable enough lie and so I’d decided to just tangent off from the truth. It was close enough, I figured.

“Awh, I’m so happy for you, cuz. Congrats!” Jamie said, obviously thrilled for me, as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder and squeezed. “Know why you’re so wound up now, your mum will be on your case all night!”

We shared a laugh. Because wasn’t that the fucking truth.

I tried my hardest to hide my slight grimace though as I allowed my cousin to congratulate me. During a few shared conversations with Matty, we had thought up a convincing enough plan, but now that it was time to put it all into action I wasn’t sure we’d actually be able to pull it off. Especially with the reminder that we’d be lying to my mum of all people.

“Oh shit, there’s Laura! Best head on over.” Jamie suddenly announced, his eyes focused on a brunette in the distance, far enough that I had to squint to even make out who he was referring to.

But before I could comment or question Jamie’s twenty/twenty vision, my cousin was already bouncing on the balls of his feet, all but ready to run off.

He turned to me before he did though, squeezing my shoulder slightly. “Make sure you come find me with this date of yours, yeah? Gotta make sure he meets the mark.” I smiled, a little touched. “But I truly am buzzing for you, y/n. After everything, you deserve someone good.”

My chest ached and as my cousin gave me one final grin I couldn’t help but feel a little like the grinch, my heart had to have shrunk to half its size at the very thought of having just lied to Jamie.

I couldn’t linger too long on the regret I felt though as my phone buzzed in my hand. Immediately I peered down at it, chewing on my lower lip.

As the screen lit up, I frowned. What the fuck had I gotten myself into?

Matty had just messaged, but before I could even think up a reply I heard a few of the other guests around me start to whisper. I glanced up and over to where I then heard a muffled squeal. I pulled a face as I watched one of my younger cousins, Arielle who’d just turned fifteen, jump behind Jordan, her older brother.

I shook my head and pivoted slightly, eyes scanning over the rest of the guests who had yet to make their way into the chapel. A few of the women were openly staring down the gravel drive, gossiping amongst themselves, and I couldn’t not follow their gaze.

I was really confused, everyone’s attention seemed to be drawn towards the figure who was wandering closer. He was decent looking, I supposed, clad in a fitted tuxedo he'd paired with a black bowtie and an uncaring expression, but he was no James Dean. So I couldn’t quite get my head round why they were all so bothered.

As he grew nearer, I took in what I could. The dark narrowed eyes hidden beneath a pair of furrowed brows, the cropped cut of the hair he’d greased back, the handful of silver rings which cluttered his fingers. What caused me to pause though was the cigarette, which hung effortlessly from his bottom lip. Because, shit.

Instantly my focus moved back down to where my phone screen was now dimming and I quickly tapped at the home screen to view the last message I’d been sent.

Keep an eye out for the oncoming smoker, alright x

My heartbeat quickened, and my gaze flitted back and forth between the approaching figure and the text. Surely it couldn’t have been anyone else.

“Sweetheart?” A voice called out with a sure northern twang, erupting goosebumps up both of my arms. I glanced up.

Sure enough it was him, he’d been the only one to ever call me that.

My throat grew dry, “Fuck me.”

“Little early for that, I reckon. Heard about there being an open bar though, buy me a drink and we can talk again later, yeah?” The man ribbed, smirking as he plucked the fag from his lip. He drew closer and I was taken back a bit from how confident he appeared, almost identical to the way he seemed over the phone. But now in tenfold.

"God, sorry.” I laughed, covering my face with the back of my hand as I shook my head to try and cover my reddening cheeks. “Didn’t expect, well- this.” I added, only furthering my embarrassment by vaguely gesturing towards him.

Matty’s grin dimmed almost immediately then, and I frowned.

“Hang on, you are Matty, right? The same Matty I’ve been messaging for weeks. The guy who texts me at all hours of the night going on about how ripe a banana has to be before you can eat it… and who sends me little voice memos of theme tunes he’s rewritten so that they sound aesthetically more pleasing?”

The man looked confused for a moment, and his brown eyes surveyed me before he ultimately chuckled. I blinked at the sudden change in behaviour.

“Guess you could put it like that.” Matty laughed once more, this time a little more airily. And God, did I want to listen to it on repeat. I’d thought about it once or twice, what it would be like to hear him laugh, to listen to him talk. “Hope you weren’t half-expecting some model to come waltzing in here. I mean, I’m fit but I can only do so much, babe.”

It was said jokingly and though Matty was probably one of the most vainest people I’d had the pleasure of meeting, I also knew that there was some genuine apprehension in his eyes. Almost like he’d been both dreading and craving this moment as much as I had.

“Fuck off! Model.” I scoffed, and laughed alongside him as I shook my head. But then I peered around at the few who were still staring and was now suddenly hyperaware of them all. I didn’t really think too much about it as I stepped in closer to shield him somewhat. “Christ, Matty. Feels like you’ve just walked off an album cover or something, with the way you’ve got everyone leering at you.”

And wow. I watched in slight disbelief as Matty scratched at the back his neck with a small, almost bashful smile. I took note of the small hoop he had cuffed around his lobe.

“Piss off.” The man chuckled, finding his feet again as he realised the proximity we now held. “Reckon they’re all looking at you though.” He commented, looking me over with a sly smile. “Hann painted a good picture, but you’ve exceeded all expectations, darling.”

I couldn’t help but smirk, regaining my usual confidence. “Spent a lot of time thinking about me, have you Healy?”

Matty’s tongue darted out to wet his lower lip, his unlit cigarette dangling between his fingers in the small space that separated our bodies.

“You’d know all about that, babe. Your first words, if I do recall, were 'fuck me'. And though I’d be happy to comply with your reasonable request, I don’t think Adam, or your sister, would very much approve of me taking you in front of all these lovely people.”

I hummed mischievously, eyeing him. Yeah, this was my Matty alright.

“Can’t say I’ll come to regret those words.” Then, before Matty could even think up another retort, I wound my arm around his and started leading us in towards the chapel. “Best play the part, yeah?”

And I had to dampen my grin when I heard the man’s joyous laughter sound beside me. Ignoring all of the other onlookers to sneak a peak over at him, I found myself loving the squinted grin he made as he tucked his cigarette behind his ear.

This night would definitely be memorable.

Part two >

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filmnoirsbian · 4 months

Note

Sorry about the length! Hope you read it anyway, if not no harm done :) a sad

My shameful crush is actually a scent mixed with a person??? I have this very vague, kind of snapshot-like memory of being 5 years old and sneaking out of my bed in an attempt to hide behind the couch and share a snack with my grandmas dog (a bowl of dry Cheerios, I would get the left handful, she would get the right handful). I got out of bed, and snuck behind the couch only to then realize that my mom was sitting on the couch. Blocking my entry to the kitchen. Sitting, I should add, with this man she had been dating. I’m sitting there, panicking, when I smell something. It smells like cigarettes and something fresh (cigarettes are an easy scent to identify). I smell it, and for one reason?? Become really infatuated with the smell? Like I actually started breathing so deep and loud that my next memory is of my mom asking me why I’m “panting behind the couch, you are not a dog”. I also remember feeling really hot and my hands were tingly, idk.

Of course, in my panic and subsequent grounding I forgot all about it. Fast forward to high school junior year. (About 10 years later) And I’m fresh out of the hospital for an ED (again), and have gone to spraying myself with bath and body works body spray to cover up the scent of (tw: emetophobia) vomit . I was currently out of mine so my mom let me borrow hers. Sea Island Cotton.

Not enough to trigger the memory, yet.

Fast forward to lunch where I see Hayden. A boy I met my freshman year who was crude, and kind, and not really someone I usually hung out with. He once took a picture of me and told me I was going to be a model someday (kind) and then said someone would probably masturbate to my picture in a magazine (crude). I hadn’t seen him since last year and in my surprise to see home I ran up and hugged him. (Not at all something I would I would usually do, might I add.)

He smells like cigarettes.

Immediately the memory resurfaces.

I pull back, blushing furiously at both the hug and the memory. And you know what Hayden says?

“Yep. You’re still the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”

When I say, to this day, when I’m struggling with my ED I think of this moment. Maybe it’s shallow and stupid to say that someone finding me attractive helped with my ED (helped didn’t cure). But it did.

I never saw him again. Literally ever, after that day. I don’t smoke anymore and I don’t use bath and body works spray anymore. But I keep a few cigarettes and an old bottle of the spray. And when I need comfort or am insecure in my body I spritz myself and light up.

I think about Hayden often. I really hope he’s okay, and I hope that if he thinks of me , he thinks of me fondly.

This isn't shameful at all and in fact I'm really glad you had that moment ❣️

#asks #shameful crush night #ed mention

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good-griief · 1 year

Text

Time ; Regret

here's part two of "time"! i'm sure you all don't want me to end it here, so even tho i think it'd be a little cruelly funny to leave it up in the air like this, i promise there will be a part three— tho that will be the last part. this part is pretty dialogue-heavy, so i hope you enjoy the 'voices' i gave the characters<33

note sorry to have to post this again but tumblr posted it at the complete wrong time from my schedule and it wasn’t the right draft :( ( some kind of phone to computer mix up idk what happened</3 )

warnings ambiguous relationship/feelings between abby and reader, reference to romance, implications of unrequited love (it's not), she/her reader, lasting effects of torture to reader, morally grey reader, mention of joel's death/torture, ambiguous/story-teller dependent interpretation of major past event between characters

tags @frogtits1 @sawaagyapong @augieee21 @sunkissedbibi @eden-nox

part one part three

link to chapter 2 on ao3

After that, Abby decided against hugging you again, knowing she’d just get emotional. She didn’t know how you’d react to that anymore, so she played her safest bet and explained what happened from a distance, offering to help you work as she did. You didn’t react, but she could tell how upset you were just because you were so quiet.

When she offered to come over that night, you agreed immediately, and when she came to your house, you opened the door with puffy red eyes and swollen lips. She gave you a somber smile. “Come on.” She opened her arms for you, holding you for a moment before she came inside. “They wouldn’t want you to cry,” she said, trying to say something comforting you might, and it coming out improperly. It made you chuckle at her attempt, making her sigh as she stepped away from you. “I’m still not the best at comforting people,” she said quietly, shutting your door behind her as she entered with a small smile. She reached out, dragging her knuckle beneath your eye to rid of any stray tears. You smiled at the gesture, gaining one from her, too.

“You’re right, though.” You blinked away your feelings, taking her hand and leading her to your room so you could sit on the bed together. There was a brief, awkward silence. “What… Uh, what happened? How did it get to this?” You asked as you released her hand, playing with your own to distract yourself.

Abby swallowed, pursing her lips. She had a feeling you’d judge her for what she did, but she wasn't going to lie. “Joel… The way we— I killed him. Tortured him in front of his brother, and killed him in front of that girl; the one he killed everyone to save. She came after us. Went through all of our friends to get to me, and… let me go.” You couldn’t tell how she felt about being left alive, but you were glad she was, placing your hand back on hers for added comfort. “Don’t.” She went to pull her hand away, but you grabbed it with both of yours. “You can be upset with me—“

“I’m not.” You shook your head, holding her hand gently. “I never should’ve given you that lead. I’m sorry.”

“I would’ve found out eventually.” She shook her head. “And I still would’ve done it…” She grimaced. “And this all would’ve happened anyway.”

“There’s no point in blaming yourself,” you sighed. “You just have to—“

“Let go? Yeah… I’ve heard that,” she scoffed, giving your hand a squeeze before she let go. “Couldn’t do it before either.”

“I wasn’t going to say that, Abby.” You shook your head at her. “You just have to accept it. It probably won’t ‘get better,’ and you’ll probably never let go, but you’ll be able to move on with your life, and not feel guilty for that. Then eventually, you’ll start to remember happier things about them, and… you’ll accept it.”

“Is that what you did? Just accept it?” Her lip sneered when she asked the question, but her brows were bent upward with a contradictory emotion.

“I wanted to go back—“

“Why didn’t you?” She asked quickly, eyes rimming red just as quickly and making you avert your gaze.

“I couldn’t…” You shrugged, forcing that same flippancy you gave Mel and Nora. “I mean… I left like a fucking coward, Ab,” you laughed at yourself. “Going back? I’d feel like a complete fool. I couldn’t face you guys— I couldn’t even face you guys four years later. The only thing I could do was keep going and try not to fucking die, I don’t know.”

“Everyone wanted you back,” she muttered, now understanding the brief encounter you had months ago.

“I didn’t think you did.” Abby frowned, the words sounding like you were singling her out. “I thought, I don’t know, even if everyone else wanted me to be there, you wouldn’t after I suggested something so stupid.”

“It wasn’t stupid,” she said, chuckling lightly at your tone.

“It was insensitive.”

She shrugged. “I didn’t care… I didn’t even think of that, I just—“ She shook her head, sighing. “The first thing I thought when you mentioned it was that you were going to leave… I wanted to make it my choice that we wouldn’t see each other again, so I said something stupid— but if I’d just waited, let you talk, then… I would’ve realized you wanted to go together. Everyone just thought you planned on going alone.” She pursed her lips, looking away. “It was my fault everyone responded like that— don’t say it wasn’t,” she said before you could object. “No one would’ve said anything if I didn’t.”

“I didn’t care that much about what everyone else said. I figured they just thought I was going to leave you all, but… I thought you were telling me to leave for bringing it up in the first place.” You lied back on the bed so Abby wouldn’t see your face. “Even still, when I was alone, fucking terrified, the only thing I could think of was whether or not you guys were okay; how, maybe, it was better that I wasn’t there… It seemed like you guys got even closer when I saw you.”

There was a brief pause as Abby looked down at you. Clearly, you both needed to have this conversation, but it was almost impossible to have with how hard it was to sort out either of your feelings.

“The first thing I wanted to do when I realized you were gone,” she started slowly, “was go and find you; tell you that I don’t care, and if that’s what you wanted we could go. We could go to Los Angeles, or Santa Barbara, or San Francisco, or wherever the fuck you wanted to go, ‘cause I had no fucking idea what I was going to do without you… And I needed you.” The waver in her voice made you shut your eyes, taking in her words with a crease between your brows and a frown tugging at your lips. “I fucking needed you, and I just wanted to be with you, and I was scared, so I snapped at you thinking— I don’t know what I was thinking… Maybe-maybe if you knew we wouldn’t be together, then you wouldn’t go? Fuck, I just wanted you to stay with me,” she was rambling, words quick and spilling out until she caught herself, “and everyone else. Where you were safe. Where we were all safe. Together. I didn't mean to push you away.”

You had no idea what to say, staring up at the ceiling with a frown as your eyes shone beneath the warm light. You were quiet, voice small as if you knew just how wrong you were now. “I just wanted you happy,” you mumbled, hardly confident in what you used to think to yourself to justify your actions.

“Without you?” She scoffed at you. “Really?”

You shrugged, now thinking of anything that could back you up. “You had Owen.”

There was a moment of pause before Abby laughed, grabbing your pillow and hitting you with it. “Fuck you.”

“What?!” You laughed, pushing the pillow away and covering your face as she threw it at you. “You… loved him, or whatever,” you waved off, unable to hide the disdain in your voice.

“That’s what. You never liked us together.” You shrugged. “Why?”

You looked over at her, looking her up and down. “I don’t know.” You moved to sit up, huffing as you did and covering it with an exaggerated sigh. “You were my person.” There was a faint upward pull to her lips at that, but it fell quickly when she replayed the sentence in her head. She was your person, and you had stayed hers. After all those years; years of having your picture in her room or pocket, you had stayed close to her heart, but now she was nothing more than an old friend to you. “What?” You asked when you noticed her expression, reaching out and placing a hand on her thigh.

She swallowed, looking down at your hand. “Did you— Did you ever…” She stumbled over her words as she stared at your hand on her, eventually looking away. “Think about us? Any of us? I mean, you, Mel, and Nora were so close…”

You waited for her to finish, but that seemed to be the end of her sentence, so you stood. You went to your dresser, hand on your lower stomach as you grimaced but made sure to hide it from Abby. You grabbed an old jewelry box, taking it in unsteady hands and carrying it back to the bed where you set it down. Around your neck, there was a leather necklace you untied and pulled from your shirt, taking the key at the end of it and unlocking the box.

There was an old tape recorder inside. Headphones and car keys too, and a stack of photos among other trinkets.

Abby looked shocked, looking at you before reaching for the box when you nodded. The car keys, from the first time her dad taught you to drive, were tied to an old coin he’d gifted you. They were on top of an old photo of you and him in his greenhouse.

Her hands went for the other photos, looking through them and seeing how many there were of her or the two of you. You had more of your friends than you did with them; some of these photos she’d never seen before and making her brows pull together as she smiled somberly.

“When I was in Washington,” you spoke up quietly, looking at the pictures as Abby went through them. “Leah was on patrol when my group was leaving. I didn’t have many pictures of us together, so she gave me most of those… I guess she just had them with her.”

Abby smiled faintly. “She kept pictures of us with her all the time.” Her smile then fell again. “I thought you guys left immediately?”

You pursed your lips. “I needed a little extra medical attention before we could leave. She found our hiding spot.” You quickly continued before she could question you. “So I told her about how I lost one of my only pictures of us and my other tape recordings, and she just gave them to me.”

“Of us?” She looked up at you and you nodded. Abby went into her pocket, fingers digging for a wrinkled piece of paper. “I don’t have the recording with me; it's in my room, but… ” she muttered, pulling out the photo and smoothing over the water damaged paper before she handed it to you. “It’s a little ruined.”

“You had this?!” You took it, looking down at the picture and feeling your eyes burn before you moved to hug her, arms squeezing around her shoulders. “You don’t know how bad I felt about losing this, Abby.”

Her hands found your hips, awkwardly pulling you into her before her arms went around your waist to comfort you with how emotional you were getting over one picture. “It’s okay,” she tried to soothe, hand running up and down your back. “I’m glad you lost it. I finally got to keep a picture of us,” she laughed awkwardly, leaning back against your bedframe with you still in her arms. She knew you were trying to hide your face from her, so she let you stay as you were. “I actually thought you just left it behind.”

“What?” You laughed, pulling back to frown at her. She smiled at your laugh, hands still resting on your waist in case you hugged her again.

“I found it by the fire after you left.” She shrugged. “It was with your MP3.”

“So, what? You laughed again. “You thought I was burning pictures?”

“I don’t know, maybe?” She laughed, releasing you as you sat next to her with an eye roll.

Usually, you’d lean into her, or rest your head on her shoulder when you sat next to her, but now things were so different that you couldn’t just bounce back into old habits.

Every touch, every word, every glance, it was all based on feeling; some feeling that was brought up by the past before that fleeting feeling passed too, and soon, Abby was starting to realize you’d become complete strangers to one another. You hardly understood each other anymore. You weren’t certain how the other would react, or reciprocate, you didn’t even know what could be said at times. Even if you could reminisce for hours, when it came to talking and being present, there was hardly anything you could do.

It left Abby forgetting your advice and wishing she could go back to do this all over again; forget about finding Joel first and just find you. Or just go with you to California and spend the years like you did. No matter how much she wanted to go find him. No matter how much she would have regretted it.

At least you wouldn’t be a stranger to her.

Though, she had no idea how those years were for you. She didn’t know the hell you’d gone through, or the sleepless nights. No matter how much you told her that night, you didn’t tell her how you made yourself sick with guilt to the point that you had to lock all of your keepsakes away. Especially because you thought you’d lost one. She didn’t know how hard you worked to accept everything that happened, how seeing them after four years caused a rift between you and your squad to the point that they were telling you just to stay in Washington, how her showing up completely threw you off guard.

But maybe that was for the best.

Because that night, while she was wide awake, thinking of how she could find a way to know you again, you slept soundly. Sleeping through the night for once as you lied with the picture Abby left with you under your pillow.

The next morning, Abby came to the greenhouse. You smiled when you saw her, setting aside your plants to give her your full attention.

“Hey.” She smiled. “I’m going on my first patrol—“

“Already?” Your worried tone made her chuckle. “Ab, you’re still recovering.“

“I know, but I need to get back out there. I’ll go crazy if I don’t.” You grimaced, crossing your arms. “I was wondering if you’d go with me? It’s just around the island, so no combat.” You narrowed your eyes, wondering why she’d bring that up. “It’ll be quick,” she continued to try and persuade you.

“I don’t go on patrols anymore,” you told her, replacing your questioning glare with a sympathetic smile. “Sorry.”

“Oh…” She didn't ask why, just nodded before reaching into her pocket. “Okay, well, I brought this with me to give back to you—“

“No, no, no. Keep it.” You took her photo out of your pocket and handed it over. “I’m sure you’ve realized these go together now. You’ve had them for years. Please.”

The way you spoke to her, so cordially it seemed formal, made her feel uncomfortable in a way she couldn’t describe. She gladly kept the items, thankful you hadn’t, but also wishing you at least seemed to want them.

“Maybe…” You looked around, all of your morning duties done for now. “Maybe I could go with you just this once,” you suggested upon seeing the look on her face.

But she didn’t want you to placate her.

“That’s alright.”

“You sure?” You frowned at the sudden change in tune.

“I’m sure there’s a reason you don’t go anymore.” She gave you a smile and you nodded.

After that day, you didn’t speak much. Lev would come for lessons, and Abby would have to get him sometimes, but slowly, she just faded into another one of your comrades; people you knew but had no relationship with. People who hardly crossed your mind on a day-to-day basis.

She overheard you with one you were closer to— one of your new friends.

“So,” she started, “you know that new girl?” She asked as Abby passed by the greenhouse on her way out to patrol. She planned to get a pouch from you, but paused to eavesdrop. “I heard she’s from Salt Lake.”

You’d hummed. “We grew up together… But I don’t really know her anymore,” you’d admitted quietly, solemn.

Your friend huffed a laugh. “You’re so dramatic. What’s that supposed to mean, huh?”

You chuckled. “I dunno, just… Ya know, when I did know her, she was the best person I ever met. So gentle… kind. She had a way with animals— people, too. I don’t know, she was always so perfect to me when we were younger. I probably had a little crush on her or something.” Your friend cooed at you. “But as we grew up, we were, just, so close. Her dad just took me in like family after mine was… taken.” She could hear your voice falter. “But when he was killed, things changed… Remember that tip I gave in Washington? ‘Bout Tommy.” Your friend hummed. “His brother, Joel. He was the one to kill him, and Abby… She beat him to death. In front of his brother… In front of his kid.”

She could hear the way you struggled to get the words out, biting her inner cheek. She wanted to leave, but she also wanted to know what else you’d say, waiting for you to continue.

“And I don’t even blame her. It makes me sick, but I don’t blame her ‘cause if I ever found out who destroyed my family?” Your voice darkened. “I’d do so much worse.”

“No need to justify to me,” your friend huffed, humming in agreement. “I know exactly what you mean.”

There was a pause before you spoke again “And sometimes, I wish I’d been there to see it through. To know that he’s actually dead… Or, even just to be there for her— ‘cause the girl that I knew? She never could’ve done that. I never would’ve let her get to that point; feel that way? Hurt that much but… I left her.” Your friend tried to speak over you, but you stopped her. “So, I can’t help but feel at fault for what happened to our friends. I don’t know anyone who would still want to care about me after what I did. So, I just feel like I don’t know her anymore. I can’t understand her at all.”

Abby thought of talking to you that night, telling you she overheard the conversation, but she couldn’t bring herself to face you knowing how guilty you felt.

What if seeing her made you feel worse? Talking to her made you feel sick? She’d spent all these years feeling guilty, only to find out you felt the same— and now even more so because you knew how she ended up here. Like this.

She could say the same thing about you. She thought you were perfect when you were younger, she wanted to protect you as you got older, and she felt like she failed you now. Like it was her fault you felt this way. She could say the exact same things you did, which was why she kept her distance and waited for you to come to her.

She waited.

And waited.

#abby anderson x reader #abby anderson #abby anderson hcs #abby x reader #abby tlou #abby anderson x fem reader #abby anderson fluff #abby the last of us #abby and lev #abby anderson angst #abby anderson ff #abby anderson fic #abby anderson x you #abby x you #tlou abby #tlou x reader

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ohmystarrynight · 1 year

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Really adore your artstyle. You have such amazing designs! I only have one big question and that is in regards to Thomas' Backstory before he became Edward's adopted son. Basically, what happened to Thomas that made him climb aboard Edward's engine? You mentioned you live for sad stories too so I can presume it's something angsty was involved?

Ah good question good question…

It dawned on me that before I got back into this show, I never knew the era it took place in. Now I’ve realized it’s between 1936 and 1952… to keep it brief, I’d place my au around the end of WWII.

I haven’t exactly given thought to WHO Thomas’s parents are, only that they were separated from Thomas, and later (most unfortunately) became casualties of the war.

I imagine Thomas might have been quite curious at seeing such a bright blue engine at a train station one morning while wandering aimlessly, so, being him, he probably climbed aboard and never thought twice. (Given that he’s around 4 I can’t say I blame him, I might’ve done the same???)

And while I know y’all have seen the comic, you haven’t seen all of it (yet?) but Edward does eventually realize he’s stowed away on the train and decides to ask Sir Topham Hatt what to do once they’ve reached Sodor.

I’ll post these doodles eventually but what ensues after is essentially this:

-Topham and Edward decide an orphanage is probably their best bet, so Topham starts looking into arrangements.

-in the meantime, Edward had the whole caretaker role thrust unto him by default. The first few nights are chaotic, as no one, but especially not Edward, had much experience in caring for a kid before. (Let alone one as cheeky as this one). There was a lot of learning to be had.

-it takes much longer than anyone had thought to find a place for Thomas to go, and eventually a few months pass by. You see where I’m going with this I’m sure, but needless to say, Thommy has already grown quite attached. To everyone, sure, but especially Edward, who takes him on trips and teaches him all about how to drive the train.

And as you all know, he does eventually stay. There was one futile attempt made to separate them and send Thomas off, but after one rather vocal and tear jerking stop at THAT station you better believe Thomas went back HOME to Sodor without further question.

If this wasn’t horrifically boring for y’all I’d be happy to go more into this and how he grew up around the others? Idk I’ve never had such a long post before 😭😂 anyway enjoy

#thomas #thomas and the magic railroad #ttte #thomas the tank engine #thomas and friends #taf #tatmr #ttte thomas #ttte edward #ttte sir topham hatt #human #ttte human #ttte humanized #concept art #story #pilot speaks!

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enby-wrights · 1 year

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(warning i do not understand how tumblr works i have been on here for like two months and gathered absolutely nothing so i apologize if i did something wrong with like tags and the like? also i think i kind of sound like a youth pastor towards the end of this but it’s okay i do what i want. anyways)

greetings marble hornets fanbase i just have some (long) thoughts to share on tim and alex :) i have some Mental Health Hot Takes that are not worded well because i wrote this at one in the morning but feel free to read anyways. also i know that the marble hornets mental illness allegory conversation has been done to death but please let me throw in my two cents i am just a little guy and i even said please

in all my six long years traversing the Deep Dark Depths of the marble hornets fanbase, i’ve never been all that interested in exploring any kind of close relationship between alex and tim within the story-- i think 2006 alex comes off as a bit desperate and overbearing, and i think that would have made 2006 tim a little too anxious to attempt to get close to him. it’s just interesting to think that they wouldn’t quite fit together at the only point in their lives where they would have had the chance.

their position in the overall story as narrative foils to one another, however........... now that’s a tasty character dynamic if i do say so myself :) although essentially all of season three revolves around the conflicts between people as they react to the mental illness metaphor operator in their own Fun And Unique ways, alex and tim are undoubtedly the poster children of this concept. both of them begin dealing with almost identical issues, and their reactions to these issues shape their individual narratives in completely opposite directions. i was thinking about it while listening to the podcast great, more tapes today (which if you haven’t listened to it i totally recommend it even though it has been dead for a year) and it’s kind of a really great allegory for the ways in which people’s reactions to experiences with mental illness can either make or break our recovery. as someone who has intentionally made my own recovery worse on multiple occasions out of general manic faux edginess, the parallels kind of hit me really hard

i’m gonna highlight the differences between alex and tim’s reactions to the mental illness metaphor operator using a bullet point list because i’m autistic and all of my thoughts occur in bullet point lists actually

during the filming of alex kralie’s marble hornets, as their symptoms are both beginning to set in, we see alex alone incredibly often. tim, on the other hand, is always seen surrounded by other people (this also comes down to the contexts in which they were filming but whatever it’s artistic framing or something idk)

tim seeks medical attention. duh. i think it’s probably pretty safe to assume that alex did not seek any sort of medical attention for his mental health issues leading up to all that murder, otherwise there maybe wouldn’t have been murder

aside from seeking medical help, we also see tim seeking help (or at least visibility) from his peers. entry #66 is just tim yelling at jay about how scared he is. and even if jay isn’t really much help, he can at least see where tim is coming from in the future and has the opportunity to act accordingly (he does not take this opportunity but hey at least it’s there. as alex’s condition worsens, all we see is him lying to his loved ones about what’s going on. which is bad.

alex constantly walks in anger and fear. tim doesn’t stifle his emotions (i.e. him beating the shit out of jay), but he also acts logically and doesn’t dwell on them for too long

by season three alex is just fucking living all alone in the woods (which if you didn’t know is the opposite of seeking help)!! not only is he running around in an echo chamber but he chose to bring a gun into the echo chamber with him which is a really great way to become more mentally ill. tim on the other hand has a job, and a life, and people in his life who at least care enough about him to call him and see if he’ll be at work on time. he keeps busy and he interacts with the world around him and even when he’s having to constantly check in with his doctor to make sure he stays okay he is out and about and being a person

and it’s a weird thing to think about because when i’m at my worst psychologically i tend to bring a (METAPHORICAL) gun into my own echo chamber and sulk around in there until i start to believe some pretty shitty things about the world around me

but on the few occasions where i do manage to reach for help and respect my feelings while still existing outside myself it’s a miraculous feeling. i get better. and then i get worse again, because mental illness is a bitch, but it gets easier and easier to reach out every time.

and i think that’s part of the reason why alex gets eaten up by the idea of the operator while tim doesn’t. tim has experience with getting help, and he’s clearly developed a skill for taking care of himself. he just got lucky that his first time dealing with a mental health crisis wasn’t as fucked up as alex’s.

anways tldr alex kralie is my new example for what not to do in my mental health recovery journey also he’s a bitch

(ps i don’t understand how i got to the end of this rant without mentioning masky a single time but i promise he fits into the mental illness allegory somewhere probably maybe)

#marble hornets #alex kralie #tim wright

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puffpasstea · 1 year

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maybe it's a punishment for mouthing off? i feel like you haven't done that exactly yet?? but totally hear you, sometimes it's so hard to think of ideas!

A/N: Okay, here’s my attempt at doing this. I’ve been a bit hesitant to write smut lately, especially ever since that one anon said some not so nice things about dom!h lol, so I’d especially appreciate the feedback on this. Idk writing has been difficult lately ugh. Anyways? Here it is!

Warnings: smut implied, dom!h

——

“What, so, what’re you saying?” I ran my fingers through my hair, pulling at it slightly. “That I’m not allowed to have feelings? Hmm? Do you even know how dumb that sounds? You- you just want me to be a robot?” My words sounded a lot less clever than they did in my head, the second I spoke, my voice shaking.

Harry simply rolled his eyes, sitting at the end of the bed and taking a deep breath to calm himself.

“Don’t do that! Don’t, okay? It’s condescending!” I stood over him, closing the distance between us. With him sitting down, the heigh difference between us fueled my conviction.

“I haven’t done anything.” He said simply, smiling, but clearly unamused.

“You rolled your eyes at me. And not for the first time tonight either!” I exhaled, pausing for a moment. But I was on a roll and I was going to let him have it. “You did it in the restaurant earlier. Do you know what that makes you? A douchebag! You’re such an ass sometimes. Like- I’m sorry I’m not perfect like you and your perfect little friends who never get angry or anything. Sorry I have feelings- sorry I’m human!”

Harry made a chuckling noise and rolled his eyes again, shaking his head at me.

“Oh my god! See? You’re doing it again! Three! That’s three times! Fuck you, Harry! Fuck you, okay?!!” I ran into the in-room bathroom and slammed the door shut behind me, staring back at it with burning rage in anticipation of Harry following me. To my disappointment though, he didn’t come after me. In fact, I don’t think he’s moved from his seat on the bed. Behind the door, the room was completely silent.

As my anger set in and my breathing deepened, I felt my hands shake. I hated this. I hated being angry with Harry, but even worse, I hated feeling guilty for being angry with him. His ability to keep his calm during arguments, in the face of my emotional outbursts always made me feel inferior. Like, even when I had every right to be angry, I was somehow wrong for my feelings. Like it was somehow hard for him to understand why I felt the way that I did.

I leaned against the glass shower box as the trembling traveled down to my legs, tears pooling in the corners of my eyes. The silence was defeating. The words I’d yelled out moments ago echoing in my ears and instantly filling me with regret. I knew I was wrong. Maybe not for what I’d said, but for how I’d said it. Harry and I had rules for how we argued. We weren’t supposed to say things in anger that we would later regret. We were supposed to be on the same team. No pointing fingers, no assigning blame. We’re supposed to talk things out. What just took place wasn’t talking. I knew we set those ground rules in place for me. So I’d feel safe. But, even with the knowledge that he always wanted me to feel safe around him, something need within me- some kind of panic- always compelled me to attack. To hurt him before he got the chance to hurt me. Not that he’s ever given me a reason to believe that he would. I just wasn’t used to being treated with respect. A realization that made me feel pathetic. Harry deserved better. He deserved someone less damaged, someone who knew how to act like an adult instinctually, someone who didn’t need to be taught how to argue in a relationship.

The sound of the door handle clicked open. Harry stood in the doorway, one hand on his hip, his eyes staring straight at me, completely silent. His face was blank, but the rising and falling of his chest gave away that he was angry.

My hands folded reflexively in an attempt to hide myself away from his eyes. I couldn’t stand the quiet. The longer he went without saying a word, the more that my panic bubbled again. “What- have you come to roll your eyes at me some more?!” I blurted out before I could stop myself. Fuck. Why’d I do that? Well, there was no taking it back now.

His lips twitched for a moment, like he might smile. He walked right up to me and rested his palm on the glass wall behind me. Now it was his turn to tower over me and make me feel small. I tried to stare back at him but felt too embarrassed to look him in the eye.

“I can’t talk to you when you’re like this.” He finally spoke. “You’re too hot and puffy with anger.”

I felt him slide the shower door open behind me causing me to stumble backwards and step into the shower. His hand caught me by the shoulder before I fell.

“You need to snap out of it. Cool down.”

Before I could process what he meant, the sound of water rushing to the shower head startled me, and just as fast, a torrent of ice cold water came crashing down on me.

The freezing temperature traveled from the top of my head to my toes. I tried to scream but the cold simply sucked the air right out of my lungs, all I could do was gasp in shock and blink the water out of my eyes rapidly.

“Wha- fu-why?!!”

“That’s enough out of you.”

“Harry, I’m wet!”

I moved to try and get out, but Harry’s hands on my shoulders fixed me in place. “Not yet.”

“I- it’s co-“

“I said that’s enough talking.”

Harry looked down at the watch on his wrist, as if timing me. When he looked back up, I was in tears. I’d hoped that with the water running above me, he wouldn’t be able to tell, but my loud sniffling gave me away.

“It’s okay. You’re okay. Deep Breath.” His voice surprisingly soft. “Just breathe, okay?”

I closed my eyes, focusing on my breath and counting in my head.

After what felt like an eternity, Harry turned the water off. The sound of the water dripping down my body and onto the tiles filled the bathroom. I swallowed harshly, shivering in place. I dared not moved without his say so.

He turned around, and, for a second, I thought he was going to just leave me here. But he came back a moment later with a towel.

“C’mon, now. Let’s get you out of these wet clothes.”

He wrapped the toilet around me and helped me out of the shower, patting down my face and hands. “Better?”

I shook my head ever so slightly, still speechless.

“Good.”

His hands found the waistband of my shorts, and pulled the drenched fabric down my body, tossing it to the side. He repeated the same motions with my top. I was naked in front of him.

He brushed the wet hair out of my eyes with the back of his hand, running his finger down my cheek. “You’re freezing.” A small smile on his lips. He leaned in to kiss my shivering lips. His mouth was soft and warm against mine, making me lean into the kiss for warmth.

“We’ll get you warmed up. Don’t worry.”

He fixed the towel around my body and carried me off to the bed.

#harry styles one shot #dom!harry #dom!harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles writing #Matilda #satellite #harry styles blurb #harry styles smut

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paper--machete · 15 days

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idk if you did this before but ummm rank all qotsa albums including them crooked vultures

I'll do you one better! I'll include the desert sessions 11+12 cus imo it's too thoroughly produced to not include

10. lullabies to paralyze

no hate on lullabies but honestly the whole vibe of the record is just sooooo 2005. in my head has to be their worst song just because of how embarassing that chorus is and also there's just a lot of fluff, even the deep cuts on this album feel like throwaway tracks (which I would even say about my favorite songs on the album, tangled up in plaid and broken box). the whole album just feels like a radio-friendly attempt to prove they still had their edge after Nick was kicked out

favorite songs: tangled up in plaid, little sister, i never came, the blood is love, broken box

9. villains

villains gets too much hate. people always point to Mark Ronson for ruining the album but honestly I'm glad we live in the alternate timeline where qotsa made a pop album. the way you used to do is awesome (ESPECIALLY the live version), domesticated animals is awesome, un-reborn again is one of their best songs. hideaway has always sucked tho and I hate the ending of the evil has landed because it just sounds like they were trying to do 3s and 7s again for some reason (with the slide guitars and Josh going "way-ee-ay") but otherwise also one of their best songs. also I wanna mention that Jon Theodore is at his best on this album, you can really hear his background in prog shine through on certain songs

favorite songs: the way you used to do, domesticated animals, fortress, un-reborn again, the evil has landed

8. desert sessions 11+12

first and foremost noses in roses forever is one of the best songs jho has ever written. DS11/12 basically feels like josh decided he wanted to do his own Gorillaz style collaborative project thanks to the increased production values and honestly it just makes me want another desert sessions release just like it.... which contradicts the other thing I wanted to say which is that there's really no album that sounds like 11/12 out there. nowhere else will you hear a song like chic tweetz because any other album would’ve left it on the cutting room floor for being too stupid. i love it

also I wanna say that i think crucifire is for royal blood what ultralight beam was for chance the rapper lmao

favorite songs: noses in roses forever, chic tweetz, easier said than done

7. in times new roman

damn I'm surprised the recency bias isn't getting to me on this one lmao. ITNR has a lot of really good songs on it but put together into an album it really feels like they’re just treading old ground. (I was originally gonna write a review of it when it came out titled “new dog, old tricks”). despite this there’s a lot of great stuff, paper machete and emotion sickness are two of my fav qotsa songs and straight jacket fitting might be their best closer? idk. this would be higher if it didn’t just feel like a “more of the same” type album

favorite songs: paper machete, negative space, made to parade, emotion sickness

6. self-titled

this placement hurts so much because like a year and a half ago this wouldve been #2 😭 anyway i love the self titled so much because it sounds so different from the rest of their discography… you can hear alot of the leftover kyuss influence in the heavier songs and riff writing, plus what other album is gonna try some crazy shit like walkin on the sidewalks or hispanic impressions? (btw hispanic impressions is their most underrated song) also the expanded edition is better for having spiders and vinegaroons but worse for having droids

favorite songs: regular john, avon, how to handle a rope, hispanic impressions, you can’t quit me baby

5. songs for the deaf

i’ve always had beef with songs for the deaf…. i’ve always felt like the best songs on it are so good that they make the lesser songs seem worse in comparison. like another love song is great but when it’s sandwiched between god is in the radio and song for the deaf its like. well obviously this is one of the weaker songs on the album. anyway it’s still good, being the other nick-era qotsa album you can really hear the collaboration between the band’s all-star lineup across the whole thing

favorite songs: hanging tree, go with the flow, god is in the radio, song for the deaf, mosquito song

4. them crooked vultures

TCV is just a really, really solid album. the sequencing is great, the songs are all great, the musicians are all at their A game, ESPECIALLY josh as it’s not an unpopular opinion to say this album is where he really started tapping into his skills as a vocalist. while i consider TCV to be the honorary bonus qotsa album, i feel like it also manages to stand on its own thanks to the creative contributions of dave grohl and john paul jones.

favorite songs: mind eraser no chaser, dead end friends, bandoliers, warsaw, spinning in daffodils

3.5. over the years and through the woods

maybe I'm biased cus qotsa brainworms but the dvd of this is the best concert film/album I've ever heard. there's a perfect balance between songs being played as they are on the record and songs having things tweaked or even reworked entirely, which is something i’m picky about when it comes to concerts (i saw jack white two years ago and he changed waaaaay too many songs :P) also there’s a lot of neat little bonus things in the set, like an early version of make it wit chu, another desert sessions track (covered in punk’s blood) and of course the live performance of fun machine which is a top 3 song for them and always will be

favorite songs: feel good hit of the summer, avon, little sister, you can’t quit me baby, the fun machine took a shit and died

3. rated R

rated R is a perfect album! i think its greatest strength is its sequencing tbh, it succeeds at both giving the impression of it being a concept album (while not necessarily conforming to the concept) as well as having a super diverse tracklist where no two songs sound alike. also characteristic of nick-era qotsa, i love how rated R isn’t afraid to have short songs or long songs, though unlike on songs for the deaf the short/long songs here feel like they don’t sacrifice length for substance relative to other songs.

favorite songs: feel good hit of the summer, leg of lamb, auto pilot, better living through chemistry, i think i lost my headache

2. era vulgaris

there is no album that sounds like era vulgaris. why does misfit love sound like that? why does battery acid sound like that? WHY DOES I’M DESIGNER SOUND LIKE THAT??? it’s so fucking weird and rich with ideas, there isn’t a single moment on era vulgaris where the band isn’t trying something new. even my least favorite songs on here have something new and unique to offer while also being the most fucked up little beast creature thing youve ever heard.

favorite songs: turnin on the screw, i’m designer, into the hollow, 3’s and 7’s, run pig run

1. ...like clockwork

i’m an artsy kid, i like artsy albums, and i love like clockwork for how mature it is. every song feels like a statement, an emotion concentrated into a 4-minute masterpiece. while the lows on here are lower for me than on other albums, they still make important contributions to the album experience as a whole (not to mention the highs soar, i appear missing and fairweather friends are top 5 material for them. I appear missing might even be top 1 tbh.) i’m out of things to say so uhhh yeah like clockwork is my favorite :)

favorite songs: i sat by the ocean, the vampyre of time and memory, fairweather friends, i appear missing

#asks #musicposting #qotsa #THANK U

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imbestforyou · 1 year

Text

fireworks

pairing: jj maybank x reader (she/her)

summary: you meet jj at a fourth of july kegger and watch the fireworks together

approx. reading time: around four minutes

warnings: drinking, smoking, keggers, really short, not edited very well

note: this is awful but whatever thanks for being patient with me 😭 (also i struggle with sticking to past-tense and/or present-tense so if you see mistakes pls ignore)

masterlist :) | navigation

you never drinked or smoked. it was something you promised yourself when you were younger. seeing your parents absolutely ruin their lives over it, made you never want to try it. therefore you never went to parties, cause really what would you do with a bunch of drunk, high, and horny teenagers?

“come on, it’ll be really fun! and maybe you’ll meet someone cute there, you never know!” ashley pressures.

you cringe at the thought, “what would i even do all night anyways?”

“idk.. mingle! come on! it’s summertime and you’ve done nothing but be in bed by 8:30. i promise after this no more parties.” before you can continue arguing with her she starts going through your closet, finding something for you to wear. by the time you had to leave you were dressed in a white top with blue accents and jean shorts.

being fully surrounded by teenagers you didn’t know made you uncomfortable. and all you could think about was that everybody could probably tell. ashley mumbles something about a drink and a cute guy so after she leaves, you walk away from the log you two were sitting at and instead sit down next to a tree a little farther away from the kegger. you sit on your phone for what felt like hours before getting up to go find ashley, who is also your ride.

but as your getting up someone bumps into you and you feel liquid spill all over your white shirt.

“oh my god!” you look down at your shirt, complete ruined and stained.

“shit- i’m so sorry” you look up to see a blonde haired boy with an empty red solo cup in his hands. behind him you hear three teens snickering in the back and watch as they run away.

“is that beer?” you ask irritated. he starts chuckling at your question.

“i mean do you see the color? what else would it be?” he drops the solo cup on the ground before reaching in his pockets for napkins.

“very funny.” you glare at him.

you pause for a minute before continuing, “honestly it’s okay, i just want to get home and forget i even came here in the first place.” you go to grab your purse and your almost dead phone.

“the fireworks haven’t started yet though.” he says taking out a cigarette and lighting it.

“i don’t care. and sorry but can you not smoke near me.” you air out the smoke that’s in front of your nose.

“why? are you asthma- asthmathatic- uh.” he stutters trying to find the right word.

you laugh at the blonde’s attempt at saying the word. “asthmatic?” he nods. “well then no i’m not i just don’t like people smoking near me.”

“is that why you’ve been sitting by this tree for the last three hours on your phone instead of actually talking to people?” he teases.

“are you stalking me? that’s a little weird- um sorry i didn’t catch your name.”

“jj.” he takes his hand out so you can shake it.

you accept it, “y/n.”

“so are you from here? i’ve never seen you around.” he throws his cigarette in the nearest trash can as you continue walking out the kegger. he follows close behind you.

you clutch your purse closer to you as you walk to keep it from falling, “no actually, i live in maine but my grandparents are from here and i wanted to get away for the summer.”

“maine wow, so what do you do up there? it’s up.. right?” he’s walking close next to you now, a couple feet away from the scene you both had come from.

you laugh at his lack of knowledge, “yeah yea- it’s up from outer banks. close to new hampshire, massachusetts you know. but honestly when i’m over there i don’t do much. i just go to school get home and the cycle repeats.”

“hmm. so how do you know audrey, if you’re not from around here?”

“you really are a stalker huh?” you tease him.

he shakes his head smiling at me, “i’m just observant is all.”

“she’s a family friend i guess. this is my first time here since i was like three so i don’t know many people.”

“well now you know me.”

“yeah, i guess i do.” he stops walking after a couple seconds of silence.

“i know i caught ya on your way out but we could still go watch the fireworks together.” he takes his hands through his hair and with the streetlight hitting his face this is the first time you’ve had a good look at him. and you blush a little at the invite and maybe also cause he’s cute.

you sigh, “yeah yeah, that’d be fun.”

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virgoilluminati · 1 year

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Belongings

Chapter 9 (part 1) : “Tell me what you want and you got it, love.”

(Series Masterlist)

A/N: I AM SO SORRY FOR BEING MIA RECENTLY. If u have seen any of my posts you will know I basically have had a bad time with boys over the last couple of days and I’m just been in my feels. Not really in the mood for smut. BUT I’ve finally finished this chapter and tbf I actually kinda love it! Warning it’s A LOT shorter than the other chapters, but I thought it would be better to post a half finished chapter then no chapter at all. THIS IS THE FIRST CHAPTER WITH SMUT and warning I haven’t written it in a while so if it’s a bit off please don’t hate me. Anyways love u lots, thank you for sharing my Masterlist and hopefully u will enjoy :)

Warnings: Smut, unprotected sex (use a condom kiddos), female recieving. Dirty talk? Idk it’s just smutty and kinda fluffy.

Word count: 1.2K

As soon as the pair made there way back to their hotel, the last thing they wanted was to be stopped by a receptionist who was promoting there alll in one buffet in the morning.

“Oh sorry- I” Y/N apologised immediately letting go of Harry’s hand which had been wrapped the whole way walking home. Harry felt his heart sunk for a minute worried that he had done something wrong. But then he realised the receptionist knew who he was, and if she knew who he was, she also may well presume y/n was his girlfriend.

“No please, I should’ve asked you sooner. Normally we ask all guest on their arrival, but you came in late last night and were out before buffet was served today, we just want to make sure we have all of the allergen and preference information.” The receptionists continued, handing them both a form to fill in. Y/N and Harry both slightly groan, knowing deep down the longer this would take, the longer before they would be able to finally spend time with each other and confess the undying sexual desire between one another.

The longer they waited, Harry also feared, the more sober they would become, and perhaps y/n would regret her decision.

“Right, that’s it all completed on my end. “ Harry said quickly, knowing he didn’t have anything he was allergic too. And the only preference he had right now was y/n.

“Me too.” Y/N replied softly, looking quickly at the receptionist before looking back at Harry.

“Ah, nuts. Right-.” The receptionist responds, making an extensive note to his computer. Harry looked over to y/n confused to why he had never known about her nut allergy, but then again it did make sense why she never served any nut related products at her bakery.

“I won’t die if I have them. But I have an epi pen just in case I go into anaphylactic shock.” She responds, wincing as the words came over her mouth. It wasn’t exactly the most sexy thing to come out, especially in a moment like this.

“Right. That’s all good - a lot of our stuff is Nut free but, let us know in the morning if there is any issues. Sorry for interrupting and uh - enjoy your night.” The receptionist apologised, before opening the hotel door for the couple.

As soon as the door closes, Harry and Y/N burst into laughter unable to contain the tension any longer. “That’s not how I was expecting my night to go-.” Harry laughs, before looking over to y/n who was holding it in.

“Yes. Nut allergy isn’t very uh- sexy.” Y/N respond giggling before attempting to take on of her heels off. “Help.” She responds, leaning on Harry for some height as she slipped her heel off. Giggling, he leans down and before y/n can complain, he whisks her up into his arms, attempting to carry her up the stairs. “Harry what are you-“

“Shhhh, I’m trying to create the mood again-.” Harry whispers before glancing down at y/n’s boobs, which were now squashed up against his chest. “You little-“

“What-“

“Your staring at my tits.”

“No I’m not-“ Harry replied, his eyes suddenly focused on the wallpaper. “This wallpaper is very nice, cream I think-.” Y/N playfully rolls her eyes, before letting him to continue to carry her up the stairs. The whole time the sexual tension in the air began to increase, with y/n focused entirely on the large bulge beginning to stiffen in Harry’s trousers.

As soon as they stood outside Harry’s door, he slowly drops y/n down before the two look at each other with complete lust. Harry looks down at her boobs once again, but this time admiring her beauty as a whole.

“Your doing it again-“ Y/N responds, this time in a more subtle tone. Her lips begin to bite, as she begins to feel the bulge against her leg.

“To be fair, they’re some of the prettiest tits, I’ve ever seen. “ He responds his eyes entirely focused on reading y/n. Y/n playfully slaps him before, pulling him in for another kiss, their foreheads pressed together.

Harry couldn't understand why a woman so beautiful would choose to marry a man like Will. He found it puzzling and couldn't comprehend what qualities or attributes Will possessed that would make him an appealing partner for someone of such beauty. Harry wondered if there were hidden qualities or deeper connections between them that he was unaware of, as he struggled to see the apparent compatibility between their appearances and perceived personalities.

But right now, She was his. And his only.

“Harry, as much as I’d love to be all sexy and tease this all night long, I can’t- I need you.” Y/N responds, and without another word Harry picks y/n up, cradling her arse, before opening the door and throwing her onto the bed.

Y/N excited by this change in character begins to take her clothes off, as Harry shuts the door. Not wanting anyone to ruin his moment. However when he turns back around, he stops her, before looking sincerely in her eyes.

“Y/N, I - before we go any further. I need to make sure, you know we don’t have to do anything you don’t want too-.”

“I know Harry. I know. But I trust you. 100%. And I just want you to touch me.” She responds before beginning to unbutton his shirt. He looks at her genuinely, making sure there is no regret in her eyes, and once he is sure he has her consent, he forces her to stop once more.

“Harry - I told you. I’m fine- I-“ Harry doesn’t let her finish her sentence before he pushes her up against the bed frame, and pulls her in for a passionate kiss. “On your front.” He responds, almost ripping her dress completely.

Y/N moans in response turning over so her body is exposed, only constricted by her underwear. She was wearing a set of black lingerie. Her boobs heaving through the lace, whilst her panties, looked drenched from anticipation.

Right there and then Harry could feel himself explode. Numerous times he had imagined what she would look like undressed. But here, as she lay before him, completely under his spell, she couldn’t look ever more beautiful than before.

Y/N's bust is a prominent feature, displaying an ample and shapely size that adds an element of allure to her overall appearance. Her waistline is beautifully contoured, cinching in to create a striking hourglass shape that showcases her feminine curves. This captivating contrast between a smaller waist and curvier hips emphasizes her figure in an enchanting way.

The curves continue to captivate as they flow down to Y/N's hips. Her hips are delightfully wide and full, accentuating her lower body with elegance and grace. Along with her generous hips, Y/N may possess a fuller and rounded buttocks and thighs, contributing to the captivating allure of her curvy physique.

“What.” Y/N asks as Harry stands there smirking, his eyes full of joy. He wanted to tell her everything. How he was in love with her and that her physical beauty only further enhanced his inability to give her up to someone like Will. But he didn’t, instead he just placed a kiss gently on her lips, before beginning to cascade down to below her thighs.

“Your just beautiful, tha’s all.”

As Y/N heard Harry's words, her heart filled with an overwhelming sense of joy and validation. To be called beautiful by someone like Harry, who was known for his experiences with many women, held a special significance for her. It was a compliment that transcended the surface-level remarks she had received in the past.

Will, had often complimented her appearance, calling her pretty and appreciating her figure. While those compliments were undoubtedly appreciated, being called beautiful by Harry held a deeper resonance. It made Y/N feel seen and cherished for more than just her physical attributes.

“Harry-.” She moans as she feels his tongue teasingly taste her panties, hot air beginning to flow towards his thighs. Without another word, he bites hard on her underwear, ripping them down to the feet, allowing him more access to her body. “You’re so wet y/n. All for me?”

“All for you Harry, all for - fuck.” Before she can finish her sentence, Harry pushes her legs over his shoulders, allowing him to lick a long strip of her pussy. After getting a moan of approval, he begins to speed it up, allowing y/n to be all immersed.

Y/N could feel shock waves go through her body. She had had people go down on her before. But my gawd, no one else was able to do it the way he was doing it right now. Will had once attempted to do it, and well let’s just say, it was better left alone. Where’s Harry, was twirling his tongue along her clit, finding everything that would set off triggers in her body.

“Fuck Harry, your so good at that-.” She moans, as Harry grabs her boobs with one of his hands whilst the other held y/n in place, placing her constantly under the spell of his tongue.

Harry knew he was good at eating pussy. Which is why, seeing the women he loved completely undone with his tongue, made him feel like a fucking god. Here she was lying half naked, one hand on her other boob, whilst the other held onto the sheets, all immersed in allowing Harry to treat her right.

Harry begins to fasten up his movements, his motivation focused on collecting all of the juices which leaked from her pussy. Before placing one finger in her hole. Y/N hums in pleasure, feeling a similar sensation begin to boil in her stomach.

“Harry fuck-“ She responds, her hand suddenly tugging at the roots of his hair, needing the further friction on her body. He hums in response, his tongue never leaving her clit, constantly tormenting her release. His fingers begin to fasten up on hole, until he adds another.

“Harry, I’m fuck, I’m gonna -.” Before she can say anymore Harry begins fingering her rapidly, his tongue with none stop pace on her clit. He can feel her begin to burst, and to be next to her pussy as he does so, was nothing but stuff in fairytales.

With one big moan, y/n feels the release enter her body, her eyes looking up at the sky. She feels herself begin to shake, overwhelmed from the amount of pleasure, done just by the use of her tongue. “Fuck Harry- your good at that.”

Harry smirks again, before leaning over to bring her into a much deeper kiss, the taste of her pussy, sliding into her own mouth. Harry hums as he feels y/n begin to frantically pull down Harry’s shirt, and undo his belt. She was desperate to give something to him, to pay him back for what he did to her. But with a stern grab of her hands, Harry stops her.

“As much as I would love to see that pretty lips wrapped around my dick, if I wait any longer I think I’ll explode.” Harry responds, causing a desired reaction from y/n. In response she moves faster to take his jeans off, as Harry unattaches y/ns bra from her back, exposing two large breasts at his dismantle.

As soon as both Harry and Y/N were both naked, They stood at the end of the bed, y/n’s legs high up in the air, as Harry, let his dick slide into her. As soon as she felt comfortable, he began to fasten up his movements, knowing it wouldn’t be long before he would cum.

“Shit- You have no idea, how long I have wanted to do this-.” Harry grunts, his eyes rested only on y/ns, whose rose in anticipation.

“Fuck, Harry.” Y/N moans, feeling his dick completely open up her walls. The more he moved in and out of her the more, she realised that his dick, fit hers perfectly. And there was no one else who could live up to this pleasure-,”

“Look so pretty when you take my dick, don’t y’ princess.” Harry moans, his free hand going to grab ahold of her breast, the other fastening up his pace. Harry could feel his release coming, the louder y/n’s moaning became.”

“That’s it, princess. Tell everyone, who you belong to, who makes you feel this way.”

“Harry, I can feel it-.” Y/N moans, feeling her own high coming again closer and closer.

“Fuck-. Whose this body belong to-.” Harry asks, his eyes frozen on y/ns whimpering state. Y/N in pleasure dosen’t reply, still overwhelmed by this sudden change in Harry.

“Y/N, d’you hear me? Who does this body belong to?.”

“-Y-You.”

“I didn’t quite hear you there princess-“

“Y-you, y-you harry! Please cum for me. Let me take it-.” Y/N yells, allowing Harry to fully welcome his high, his cum spilling inside of her. As soon as he finished, y/n and Harry lie in a state of shock, unable to fully express what has just happened.

The pair lay there for about another 10 minutes, in a comfortable silence, realising that not only had they seen each other naked for the first time, but also they had just had sex. But both also knew, they did not regret it one bit.

“So…. That-“

“That was amazing. Haz. I don’t know what else to say-“ y/n sighs, her hand, placed firmly above her pillow. Harry hums in response before taking her hand, clutching it slightly and pulling the duvet over both of their bodies.

“You still don’t regret it?”

“Are you kidding, Harry, of all of the horrible things I have done to Will. This is not one of them. Y’know how long, it’s been since -“

“Oh, oh.”

“Yeah.” She giggles slightly, before Harry props himself on the pillow, his eyes suddenly filled with concern.

“Wait- shit, should I have done something more romantic. I had no idea, I just presumed, so you and Will never-.”

“No. We did. Once - it ended in disaster.” Y/N winces explaining how Will couldn’t get it up and then when he did, y/n had already fallen asleep from drinking too much prior. The story made her laugh, and Harry knew deep down, she was beginning to regret ever falling for Will in the first place.

“Your cute when you laugh.” Harry states randomly, placing a finger on her cheek. It startles y/n a bit, before she lets him continue, her eyes locked in his green pearls. “I hate my laugh.” She responds cringing.

“What? Why?!.” Harry sounded outraged that she let herself feel that way. He loved her laugh, the way her eyes would narrow and her little freckles would be crinkled.

“I don’t know. I just always have- it gives me wrinkles. I guess I've just always been self-conscious about it," Y/N admitted softly. “Unable to take her seriously Harry let’s put a loud laugh. “Y/N Y/L/N, you are too young for wrinkles.” He responds, caressing her cheek.

“Besides, wrinkles or not, your the prettiest girl I have ever met. And I know, this isn’t the way I hoped it would happen, but I am so happy that we finally found each other.” He responds admiring her natural beauty.

Y/N blushed at Harry's words, feeling a mix of embarrassment and warmth in her chest. She couldn't help but smile at his laughter and the affectionate way he caressed her cheek. His words touched her deeply, and she realized how lucky she was to have him in her life.

She leaned in closer, resting her forehead against his. Their eyes locked, and in that moment, everything else seemed to fade away. The world felt still as they basked in each other's presence.

Harry smiled tenderly, his thumb gently tracing circles on her cheek. "You are beautiful, Y/N, you're perfect to me." They stayed like that for a while, savoring the intimacy of the moment. Y/N realized that her insecurities melted away in Harry's presence. His love and acceptance made her feel comfortable in her own skin.

“I will tell Will-.” Y/N responds immediately changing the mood to much more serious. “Mmm, do we have to mention that now, we were having a moment.” Harry winces realising the extent of what they had done.

Harry's expression turned serious as he understood the weight of Y/N's words. He knew they couldn't ignore the situation and needed to address it, even if it meant disrupting the wedding plans.

Y/N nodded, her eyes filled with a mix of determination and vulnerability. She took a deep breath, gathering her thoughts before continuing. "I've been holding onto something for far too long, and it's not fair to anyone involved," Y/N admitted, her voice trembling slightly. "I need to tell Will that I can't go through with the wedding because my heart belongs to you."

Y/N smiled gratefully at him, feeling a sense of reassurance in his presence. They both knew it wouldn't be an easy conversation, but it was necessary for everyone involved to find their happiness.

"We'll talk to him as soon as possible," Y/N said, determination lacing her words. "I want to be honest with him and give him the respect he deserves."

Harry nodded, his grip on her hand tightening slightly. "And I'll be by your side every step of the way."

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