#or like its my fault for a situation existing in the first place

[kabuki-writes]

An Entertainment For The Gods

chapter: 2 chapter 1 | 3 | 4

pairing: emperor geta/emperor caracalla x acacius' daughter!reader

summary: Through an invitation from the Emperors themselves General Acacius and his daughter attend one of the bloody Gladiator fights at the Colosseum. But this time it is not only the brutality of the arena that encaptures Geta and Caralla.

warning(s): mention of violence | mention of alcohol consumption | swearing | sexual implications | semi-edited | english is not my first language, faults may occur | please let me know if i missed anything

Note: -

word count: 2.5k

There was no bigger temple in Rome than the Colosseum. A monument to the Roman Empire, an architectural masterpiece as well as a slaughterhouse for humans and animals. They had to die for the amusement of the masses in the pale white sand and under the eyes of the Roman citizens as well as the Emperor's. You've never visited the arena before, it just wasn't the entertainment you usually seeked as you fancied the amphitheater and stage plays of comedies or tragedies. No one really died from a well-spoken dialogue and the stages weren't drown in blood afterwords. Your father was a similar soul with this. As someone who had seen war and death countless of times, Acacius developed a distaste for the useless killing, which he argued was the mere core of the collosseum's existence.

But while one would despise this form of humanity at its core brutality, other's simply loved it. First under Commodus the fights in the arena became more frequent, while Septimius Severus after him didn't change anything in that matter. Under Geta and Caracalla however Gladiator fights reached an all time high, especially those 'special' spectacles with exotic animals or ships. They themselves had an own Gladiator school under their wings, which was due to their wealth filled with the most skillful warriors and the best equipment, that it was almost unfair.

Given the fact that both twins enjoyed the performance in the arena and the bloody outcome, it wasn't surprising that they were frequent visitors. For the Emperor the colosseum had an own arena box with the best view over the inner pit and with two throne like chairs for each one of them to sit comfortably. It wasn't unusual for them to have guests here either and this time it was a special one. The moment Geta and Caracalla stepped out, the masses greeted and cheered for their Emperors, who - at least in Rome - offered them bread and games to forget the common sorrows of life. Both of them were dressed in the finest, colorful fabrics, while their golden laurel crowns throned on their heads. They waited for General Acacius at the balustrade to come forward, join them and speak to the people. He was still their celebrated hero, their triumph card, so to speak. It was an easy way to win the hearts of the people through a figure like Acacius, who was the ideal Roman.

After your father held a small, yet powerful speech about the braveness of the Gladiators they'll see today, a slave went forward to place a cushioned chair between the thrones of the Emperors. You hesitated a second, since usually you would be seated at the side of your father. "Since we've heard that you had never witnessed a fight in the arena befoe, we thought you might like a good view", Geta suddenly explained to you, before he sank into his own chair. "Please, sit down."

Your eyes went to your father for a quick exchange and you saw in them how he displeased this way of treatment, yet he nodded and you sat down. More and more you understood that the situation had a differnt tone in it. It wasn't mere courtesy why the Emperors treated you like that and given the way you'd read their eyes, it was more than clear that you've captured their interest. Usually any woman of the realm would fight for that privilege, but you had seen how your father acted in front of them, how worried he was when you first made your way to the palace - something was off. You knew you needed to pay attention and be cautious.

"Citizens of Rome, the arena welcomes you! Emperor Geta, Emperor Caracalla, we the people bow to your greatness and the mighty of our beloved Empire! Under the eyes of the sun the colosseum presents to you a spectacle like no other!", the high-toned, yet thunderous voice of the richly decorated announcer set the beginning of the show and drew all eyes on the white sand down in the arena pit, where a group of men in armor but with a limited equipment of weapons entered through a door from the Colosseum's catacombs. "First we present to you the brave Gladiators that will be our Theseus' today! They may not need to save their Ariadne, but they'll still have to face horde of Minotaurs today in an attempt to safe their own lives!" With those words a couple of other doors opened and six wild bulls entered the arena. Their massive and strong bodies stirred up the sands with every step of their big hooves. They may've been animals, but they had terrible weapons on their head with sharp horns that grew out of their heads.

Caracalla clapped with a joyful laugh. "Oh i love mythological pieces, even though they forgot the labyrinth!"

Your fingers nestled with the fabric of your dress in nervousness as you watched the men prepare themselves for the attack of the angry bulls, which were already pawing with their hooves. More than one set off to ran towards the Gladiators and given the fast but powerful movements of those animals, it didn't take long until the first fighter got overrun by them and another one faced the horns that drilled themselves like spikes into his torso, where blood spilled like a waterfall. The other fighters tried their best to ran or face the bulls with the few weapons they'd been given. One of them even striked down a beast by pressing his sword into its neck, when it was running towards him. You watched the spectacle with a neutral, yet pale face, while the Emperors seemingly enjoyed the show. Geta quickly noticed the way you followed the happenings down in the arena and leaned towards you.

"Are you not entertained, y/n ?", he asked you in a low voice, still loud enough to overcome the cheerings of the crowd. Your eyes went to him, facing the deep blue of his own, while you tried to put on a mask of apathy. "It is hard for me to understand, why useless killing is viewed as entertainment, I'm afraid," you answered, but it just got you an amused smirk in return.

"Oh it is not useless. You see, nothing is as entertaining as humanity itself. What lies more in our human nature than violence, power and the survival of the strongest? Without that, your father wouldn't be able to win all his great victories and our father would not have been able to secure the Roman Empire after the weak reign of the senate."

"And yet Emperor Marcus Aurelius believed that true strength isn't born in violence, but in mindfulness and kindness. The ability to speak, think and therefore to thrive for something higher than mere survival, is what distinguishes us from animals," you responded in a clear, settled tone. This sudden response surprised Geta clearly as his eyes widened and his fingers tensed up. Even Caracalla's eyes had left the arena for a moment and were locked at you. Even though he followed the fight down there, one of his ears had catched every word you'd said. What a sweet, naive woman you were... it made this whole moment even more interesting.

The corners of Geta's mouth twitched and at first you weren't able to tell if he found your words disrespectful or not. In fact, he'd not expected such a bold answer from a woman, especially not against an Emperor. And even though he wouldn't agree with you, it proved him right, that you were not a simple-minded girl. Naive maybe, but not dull.

"Interesting thought, my dear. But would you recite the words to one of these brave warriors down there too? Who will ll earn their freedom, if violence keeps them alive long enough? We offer them a precious gift, and in return they entertain us."

Your eyes went to the pit again, which was mottled in deep red blood now with only one man and one bull remaining. The moment was intense as both animal and human watched each other with intensity, before the bull stormed forward and the speer of the Gladiator, who waited for the perfect moment, hit his opponent. The massive body fell to the ground and the people cheered in Ecstasy. Geta and Caracalla clapped with admiration for the celebrated Gladiator, as he sunk to his knee and bowed to them.

The next round began after the exhausted and wounded 'hero' stumbled through one of the doors, back into the darkness of the catacombs, before he was replaced by a bigger group of Gladiators, who now had to face armed chariots. Their opponents wore the armory of old Sparta while they teared down one after one with their arrows. You leaned back in silence, watched by Caracalla, whose eyes were taking in her side profile for quite a while now. Even though he loved the fights down there, the blood, the violence... you encaptured him more right now. Your stern face, which carried a deep displeasure for this, while you tried so hard to hide it, it was captivating.

Everyone, even his own twin tend to underestimate Caracalla. Even though he was born a couple of minutes earlier than Geta and was therefore technically older than him, his stature was smaller and he wasn't as tall as his brother. This was accompanied by the fact that he enjoyed the pleasantries the god Bacchus had to offer him: wine, music, arts and sex - even more than Geta did. Together with his rather impulsive way of acting, it often led to the false thought that the more capable brother of them was Geta. Oh, Caracalla hated this, it was a misinterpretation weaved like a thread through his whole life. Because he had a gift, he could read people and together with his extensive web of information sources and spies within the city of Rome and beyond, he had a power that lied in the dark. And it was a preparation he did on purpose after he'd learned about the plot that was once set against Emperor Commodus. Some would've said it was paranoia, maybe it was, but he would call it 'preparation'. Nonetheless it came with the pleasant side effect of knowing a lot about the people around him.

"I've heard that you rather choose the theater over the arena", he said with a soft, yet unreadable smile on his lips. "You're a dreamer, aren't you?"

As you heard his voice next to you, your eyes quickly turned to him. "There is nothing wrong with dreaming, my Emperor...", you answered and he nodded quickly as if he'd hoped for that answer. Caracalla even grinned, his golden tooth gleaming in the light. "No, not at all." My Emperor. The way you've said it with your eyes looking at him. It electrified him, so much so that the cheers of the crowd almost faded in the background. You'd faced the pit and the fighters again, but he was still staring at you.

"Which play?"

"Octavia," the name almost shot from you mouth.

"And you consider yourself to be?"

"Octavia. And you?" You didn't even expected him to give you an answer on that, but meanwhile Caracalla's grin grew wider.

"Nero," he said just as fast as you'd answered before.

Your eyes instantly went back to the Emperor, whose eyes were now focused on the deadly fight between a Gladiator and a chariot rider. He couldn't hold back a chuckle, while he watched how the man pushed his sword through the neck of his opponent, ripping off his head.

Nero.

"Why?", you suddenly asked, this time it were your eyes, that watched him.

"I cannot blame him for setting himself free." His answer was almost like a whisper, yet you heard every word. It was a very unconventional way of interpreting the mad Emperor, one she herself would even despise, if he wouldn't seem to be so certain of it. It meant something more.

The arena fight slowly came to an end, when only to oppontents were fighting for the right to claim the victory. Nearly all of the Gladiators and chariot riders were dead, their bodys laying in the pale sand and drowining it with their blood, a weird composition of death that accompanied your questions about Caracalla's answer.

After a final hit, one of the men went down on his knees. He was wounded, severely, and he now felt the tip of a sword against his neck. He surrendered and the gods had to decide what will happen with him. One of the Gods was Geta, who stood up from his chair and approached the balustrade, while the crowd called for a decision. The Gods need to decide, yet Geta suddenly turned his head to you. "What do we say,...? y/n, should he live or die?"

Your face grew even paler than it already was, your fingers were almost digging themselves into the armrests of your chair. You felt a thousand eyes on you, even though it was only Geta and Caracalla watching you, as well as the eyes of your father from behind. The Gladiator waited, while his opponent's arm was cut off and his head was bowed down as if he awaited death. And the crowd screamed and screamend. Death, Death, Death, Death, Death.

It rang in your ears, you didn't want to make this decision. But the moment you faced the Emperor, just as you opened your mouth, Geta simply bowed his thumb down - Death.

And the sword went down. Death.

The head dropped in the sand followed by the body, the cheers errupted in the arena, screaming the name of the victorious Gladiator. But you just stared into the nothingness that was in front of you, while you bit your tongue to the point of pain. "Don't pain yourself about this, my dear. There was only one answer anyways," Geta said while he suddenly reached out for your hand and kissed your knuckles, before he took his glass of wine. You didn't move, you couldn't.

Caracalla stared at this scenery and his fingers were shaking as his eyes darkened. The intense urge came up his mind: To simply take his brother and throw him from this box into the pit, his neck breaking from the impact. Those thoughts sometimes came and went, but they got more intense every time he saw Geta interacting with you. And this interaction hit a new high point in him that was only interruped by your form the moment you stood up.

"My Emperors, it was a pleasure to join you, but i need to leave now...", you said in a tone that tried so hard to be polite and not carry any emotion, before you turned your back and quickly stepped out of the imperial arena box, followed by your father General Acacius, who bowed and excused himself in an equally neutral tone.

Both Geta and Caracalla watched them leaving, before the taller one of the twins took a deep sip of his wine. "She'll learn to love it sooner or later."

______________________________

Tags:

@barcelonaloverf1life @naysha140 @shinnerslighttt @mmkkzz @ange-olras @earfq0ake @honey-eyed-munson @koshkahhh

Please leave a comment, if you want to be tagged in the next chapter.

If you liked my fic, please feel free to like, reblog and leave a comment. I am always happy to hear your thoughts <3

[ofironandivory]

For my fellow proselfshippers who have been victims of abuse:

💜 Your F/O believes you. They're there whenever you need someone to confide on and they know how much those experiences have hurt and changed you. They'll always be your biggest supporter and caretaker

⭐ Your F/O doesn't judge your triggers or boundaries. They'll always do everything in their power to make your life as comfortable and safe as possible. They want their presence to be an entirely safe and loving space for you

💜 Your F/O will do everything in their power to take good care of you. They'll make sure to keep an eye on you and bring you some water or food when you haven't had any in a while. They'll ask you to help them out with something if they notice you're starting to overthinking or if you just need to keep your hands busy

⭐ Your F/O knows your trauma doesn't make you broken or lesser than. They'll never see you as weak for everything you've survived and pushed through, even if it has changed how your mind functions, they know you're a strong and brave person!

💜 Your F/O will always choose you. No matter who was behind the hurtful things/actions you've had to deal with, you will always be their love and their priority. Any ties to the folks who've wronged you are immediately gone, like they never existed in the first place, that way you and your F/O will go through your healing journey peacefully

⭐ Your F/O supports you and your coping mechanisms. Of course, they won't let things get to the point where you're hurting or neglecting yourself... However, they'll always cheer you on when you show them the things that make you smile, no matter how small or "silly" you may think it is

💜 Your F/O knows it wasn't your fault. They're happy to remind you that you did the best you could in the situation you were in, and that they're proud of you for surviving it. They'll never hold such hurtful things against you or use it as a way to make you upset. They care about you more than they could ever put into words

⭐ Your F/O loves you. They're proud of everything you accomplish every single day; from getting out of bed to tackling a project you've been scared to face, all of it is important and meaningful in its own way! You can always count on them, through every step of the way

[just-null]

I feel like all the clones in the Pet AU would physically drag each other to have the privilege to rest on your chest.

Urogi and Karaku are just two different faces of the same coin. Its honestly dependant on the phase of the Moon if they will get along that certain day. They already get into erratic fist fights and fits often, something Aizetsu doesn't bat an eyelashe to admit; even more shameless to fault them than even Sekido is.

'Joy' and 'Pleasure', pure greed and gluttony embodied, I can see Urogi growing more and more stiff in the naked feather because Karaku exists simply to be a nuisance. If Urogi isn't the center of attention, he acts like he never had it in the first place, pouting like a child and brutally sharpening his claws to exhaust stress. Frantically scrambling in impatient frustration, trying to claw Karaku's face off while Karaku laughs his ass off in-between your fleshy mounds, stroking and prying, thick hands wandering and possessing as furiously as possible while he still holds free reign.

Aizetsu is the most mindful of the siblings, Sekido will note this himself, not like that'll stop him from constantly insulting and deeply belittling his brothers any less. Aizetsu's 'sensitivity' is a useful weapon in the right scenarios. On another note, Aizetsu is incredibly emotionally perceptive, he knows better than to think basic guilt-trapping would work on people as inherently selfish as his siblings, least of all Sekido. There is not getting through to them regurdless of whom their present Owner favors.

So, Aizetsu simply takes advantage of the blatant vulnerabilities in the situation. In steady, silent intervals. Slipping through the smallest cracks in your demeanor and the personalities of his brethren are fairly predictable for the most part. And he holds quite a steep pride in just how heavy he can cling to the source of his desires, none more stubborn than pets, demonic or otherwise.

Sekido is a whole different can of worms entirely. He's actually pretty level-headed, given the specific circumstances. He is extremely temperamental first and foremost, but in an environment where he feels in complete and total control, Sekido turns almost tolerable and considerate, slightly more eager to converse about anything and nothing at all.

Rage is what defines himself.

He will immediately blame it upon his siblings on why he's always on the verge of exploding, always playing the blame game, but he won’t outright scowl at subtle attempts of closeness. He will appreciate the fact you are considering his personal space, though he is hypocritical for it. He hungers for humane physicality and validation the most of the siblings; Sekido's old body did use to be human, he's long-forgotten what it's like to hoard, to cherish the warmth of another who he didn't want to remorselessly disembowel. He can be reasonable and functional amongst others, long as they mind their tongues, as well as yours. But of course, siblings are siblings, always ripping each other's throats out.

Sekido does all the fucking thinking around here, so they better fucking move their pathetic asses off of you and make some damn room!

EATING THIS EATING THIS EATING THIS

you described this so well, im in tears. sLAMMING MY FISTS ON THE TABLE. YES YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!

[exceptionimagines]

Meeting and Dating Kevin Wendell Crumb

(Not my gif/tried really hard to find a gif that was actually of Kevin lol)(Requested by anonymous)

(This is not fully canonically correct but I'm sure you can understand why. Btw, if you'd like more specifics on some of his different personalities, you're allowed to request for that as well.)

- Understanding pain and suffering means choosing to embrace it despite all of its ugliness and despite all of its difficulties. It's looking directly at the mountainous, monstrous thing that dwells in the dark and choosing to accept and forgive it for all of its faults. It's choosing to love where there has only been hate, and it is not a job for the faint of heart.

- Instead, it is a job for the equally broken: for the people who have suffered in their own right; people who are comfortable in the company of the unpleasant. While their struggles may be different, they are bonded by the understanding that no one else can understand. That while other people get to walk through life blissfully unaware, they are forced to keep their demons close to their chests. That no matter the reassurance, they’ll never be able to fully trust someone: not enough to tell them about what they’ve been through, not enough to rely on them, not even enough to talk to them.

- In the past, many people were forced to suffer alone: only meeting one person in their entire lives aware enough to understand what it was like to live such a personally pained existence; if any at all. They were outcasts who hid away in fear of what others might think of them, worried about what might happen if they were to let all of their issues out into the open

- In this day and age, there are endless places to meet similarly struggling individuals: people who can understand what it's like to be different. Endless places where you can meet people to confide in, to converse with, to feel validated by. You no longer have to be alone in this world if you don't want to be.

- It's in one of these places that you wind up meeting Kevin for the first time. It's a mental health forum that allows you to talk to, vent to, and/or seek advice from people who have been through similar situations or traumas. A judgement free zone that's full of people who are yearning for connection.

- You and Kevin orbit in the same spaces long before you actually interact with each other: regularly liking and commenting on the same posts or following the same random accounts. It's commonplace to see each others usernames while doing your daily scrolling so it's no surprise when you see him pop up in your notifications, liking a few of your statuses before he follows your account. You leaf through his profile a little before you decide to follow him back, not really thinking much of it until he sends you a message a couple months later.

- On a platform where people treat their posts like public diary entries, it's easy to skip the small talk and the absentminded niceties, and move on to much deeper conversations. Kevin doesn't even bother introducing himself when he first messages you. Instead, he references a post of yours that really resonated with him, or answers a question that you posed on your account, and the two of you start up a conversation that lasts for well over an hour.

- This conversation sparks a daily correspondence between the two of you: one that varies between simple recaps of what you did during the day to confessions about things you haven't even told your closest friends or family about. You learn that his name is Kevin and that he's in his thirties, but everything else you find out about him is far more intimate; a trend that you typically follow suit with.

- The two of you speak at length about your darkest moments and your fears and insecurities, all the while neglecting to tell each other about your appearances or the simple facts that you often get out of the way when meeting someone for the first time. In a way, this relative anonymity makes everything feel so much more confidential: that even though you’re baring your souls to each other and being completely vulnerable, there’s enough of a wall between you to stop you from getting fully hurt.

- He keeps the truth about his condition behind this aforementioned wall, hesitating whenever he finds himself ready to confess to you, worrying that you won't believe him or that he'll scare you off with the diagnosis; that you'll deem it "too cazy to deal with" and distance yourself.

- During this time, you might occasionally notice that his typing changes depending on the hour/day: that he alternates between using no emojis to using one in every message or that he abbreviates things one minute then doesn't the next. And even though you’d probably like to ask him about it, you choose to simply brush it off instead, reasoning that it’s a strange thing to comment on and that you might just be overthinking it. Even if it wasn’t “your imagination”, you wouldn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable or insecure anyway; so you simply leave it alone.

- When he finally does admit his diagnosis to you, your first response is to tell him that it actually “kind of makes sense”, sending the message before you can even realize how insulting that might sound to someone who’s been very obviously trying to keep said part of themselves a secret. It feels like a very “No matter how hard you tried, you couldn't fool me into thinking you were normal” kind of response so you quickly type out a “no offense” before attempting to explain yourself further.

- Once you feel like you’ve done a good enough job of clarifying, you thank him for trusting you enough to share something so personal, assuring him that it doesn't change anything between the two of you; if that was something he was worried about. You go to bed that night promising yourself to look into the condition in the morning; wanting to better understand him, and he goes to bed that night feeling completely relieved, close to crying tears of joy knowing that he’s found his first ever real friend.

- You start keeping a list of his personalities somewhere on your computer for reference, taking notes as you get to know all of his different alters. Slowly but surely, you find yourself able to deduce exactly who you’re talking to simply through the way that they type and the things they choose to message you about. If you aren’t talking to Kevin, you’re typically talking to Barry or Jade, sometimes Hedwig who’s especially amusing to converse with.

- Though just as you’re growing used to your usual roster of personalities, you find yourself baffled by the appearance of one that you’ve never spoken to before: one that materializes as a singular, simple and to the point message that appears on your screen late at night after you’ve already wished Kevin goodnight.

“Has he told you about the beast?”

- Though you’re tempted to answer, you ignore the message for the time being, too tired to entertain an entirely new conversation when you’ve already gotten ready for bed. When you wake up the next morning, you’re met with a few messages telling to ignore his previous question, insisting that it’s nothing and that he’d rather not get into it. You brush it off and move onto a different topic; though the question continues to linger at the back of your mind whenever he sends you a message that feels more succinct or shorter than usual.

- Though he neglects to tell you about the beast, he does start to share some of his beliefs with you, or rather, some of his personalities begin to share their beliefs with you. He tells you about how he thinks that the broken are the evolved, that those who have been through more are capable of becoming more, that the people who have suffered are more advanced and that the people who haven’t go through life oblivious.

- A part of you believes in some of his theories; there’s a certain level of truth to them after all, but another part of you simply assumes that he’s exaggerating or venting to you whenever he brings up something unrealistic or strange. You simply don’t realize how serious he’s being, taking the words on your screen for granted as you agree with and discuss them; falsely assuming that you’re both on the same page.

- The world he tells you about; “his world”, is something that you begin to take comfort in. A place where people like you are accepted instead of ridiculed. It’s a nice idea, of course; nobody can argue with that, but to you, it’s simply wishful thinking: a thought that helps you sleep at night or cheers you up after a particularly rough day. Unbeknownst to you, your acceptance of his ideas are proof to some of his alters that you’re perfect for him: someone capable of understanding, someone who believes….

- You assume that it’s Kevin who asks to exchange photos with you but it’s probably Dennis, curious to see what you look like, to see the sort of person capable of caring for the man he was created to protect. You’re a bit surprised when you receive the message but you hesitantly agree, figuring that you’re at a place in your “relationship” where it’s the next logical step.

- You send one of yourself and receive one of him: a picture taken from his computer camera where he looks a bit uncomfortable; maybe just shy, cast in a warm light in the middle of a somewhat cluttered room. You aren’t sure what you were expecting but you certainly aren’t disappointed, somewhat surprised to see a relatively handsome man on the other side of the screen. You ignore your suddenly increased heart rate and tell him that you like his shirt, he thanks you and the two of you begin a conversation like normal, not really mentioning the photos again; even though he saves yours to his computer and finds himself looking at it nearly every morning.

- It isn’t long after that that you agree to meet up for the first time. The idea of it is nerve wracking of course, but you decide that if there was ever anyone you’d feel the need to meet; to put yourself through the uncomfortable for, it’s Kevin. You settle on meeting at the zoo he works at on one of his days off: somewhere that’s public and a little bit crowded to ensure that you won’t get kidnapped; even if you feel like you know him well enough to assume that he wouldn’t do that.

- He’s a bit shy when you first approach each other but he smiles the minute he lays eyes on you, visibly happy to see you while walking to meet you halfway. He continues to sneak peeks at you while you look at all of the animals, sharing different facts about them in an attempt to impress you and/or make conversation. He’s amazed by how nice it feels to be in your presence and you secretly feel the same way, relaxing little by little until you feel as though you’ve known him for years.

- He might occasionally shift into Barry but the transition is seamless enough to where you really don’t notice it. It’s only when bits of Dennis come flashing through that you start to realize he isn’t “himself” anymore; though Kevin usually takes over again before you can even think to comment on it. You only take notice of his presence due to how different Dennis’s demeanor is, and because it’s the only times during your meet up that “Kevin” actually touches you: straightening your hair or a piece of your clothing with a mumbled apology as though it physically pains him to see it out of place.

- Regardless of that, your meetup goes perfectly well and you the two of you promise to meet again sometime soon, lingering at the gates of the zoo as you say your final goodbyes.

- Your relationship with Kevin progresses fairly slowly, both because he’s new to being in the spotlight and because he’s new to relationships in general. The two of you stick to being friends for quite a while: taking your time growing more comfortable and close to each other as the days go by. You start to video call and meet up in person a lot more, typically spending time out in public together while you get used to being real people rather than faceless beings behind a screen.

- While the two of you slowly but surely begin to develop crushes on each other, you also begin to earn the trust of his last few remaining personalities; a feat which convinces Kevin that you’re perfect for him. Having someone truly accept him; accept every part of him, is something so precious to him, and it only manages to further his affection for you. He might not be obvious about his romantic feelings for you, but you can definitely tell that he cares a lot about you and that you really mean a lot to him.

- Once you’re comfortable enough, the two of you start to hang out in private. You’re both a bit shy at first when showing each other around your respective apartments, it isn’t long before it begins to feel perfectly normal and natural to have him by your side and in your space.

- It’s a day like any other when he finally confesses his feelings to you. He invites you over to his apartment and right off the bat, you can tell that something is different. Kevin’s always a little shy, but he seems anxious when he meets you by the gate and lets you into his place. You’re a little worried about him, asking if he’s alright as you let him sit you down on his couch. He insists that he is but it isn’t convincing, not when he’s pacing back and forth as he struggles to initiate whatever conversation he’s trying to have with you, opening and closing his mouth as though he’s on the verge of spitting it out but psyching himself out every time.

- Finally, he rubs a hand down his face and sighs, retrieving a folded piece of paper from his pocket and holding it out to you with a shaking hand. You ask him if he’s alright again as you look at his trembling limb, hesitantly taking the paper from between his fingers and beginning to unfold it as he whispers that he’s fine, stuttering out that he just wants you to read the note and be honest “no matter what your answer is”.

- You look at him for a long moment before you fix your eyes on the letter and read, feeling your heart skip a beat as you realize what the words are trying to tell you. In the letter, Kevin explains that he’s never been in a relationship before, that he’s never developed feelings for someone before, and that he’s worried you won’t be interested in him or that you’ll never want to see him again. He apologizes if it isn’t what you want to hear, insisting that he can just stay your friend, if that’s what you want, and that he’ll do his best to forget about his crush, that he wants you to be happy more than himself and that if that’s what it takes, he’ll do it.

- You finish reading and look up at him, catching the way his eyes were locked intently on your face. You smile at him and insist that you’d be happy to go on a date with him, watching the way his shoulders sag in relief, a smile making its way onto his lips and the slight shine of tears misting in his eyes. Really? He asks you and you nod, telling him that you’d actually love to.

- For your first date, the two of you see a movie then wander around town, picking up some street food while you walk because neither of you feel like going home just yet. He stops and buys you flowers as you pass by a vendor, smiling shyly as you thank him, holding the bouquet close to your face. When you finally do decide it’s time to part ways, he stutters through asking you whether you’d like to “do it again sometime” an offer which you readily agree to, watching as he smiles in relief.

- Considering the fact that you’re probably Kevin’s first real girlfriend, it’s more than likely that you’ll have to make the first move when having your first kiss; and that it will probably take a bit of time for the two of you to get to that level. You decide to make the first move as you’re sitting on his couch, turning to and outright asking him if it would be alright for you to kiss him; suddenly finding yourself impatient and unable to stop yourself. He pauses for a moment, looking at you somewhat surprised before he quickly agrees, adjusting himself nervously in his seat so that he’s facing you better.

- You slowly lean in and press your lips to his, kissing him softly before checking his face to see if he’s alright. He lets out a breath, his eyes still closed as you look over his features, you lean in to kiss him again when he makes no move to pull away. You continue to kiss him gently, feeling his hand move to rest on the juncture between your neck and shoulder, palm pressed to your collarbone.

- He leans away from you after a long moment, which is when you realize that his hand is keeping you from following after him. You open your eyes and find him looking back at you, blue eyes locked on your face in a way you aren’t familiar with, a dead giveaway that you aren’t looking at “Kevin” anymore but rather the reclusive Dennis. You quietly apologize as he stares at you, surprised to hear him murmur out a quiet “you’re alright” once he’s finished scanning your face.

“Is he alright? I didn’t mean to scare him or anything.” You say to him, trying to assure the particularly protective personality that you meant no harm; worried that you somehow ruined things between you and your new boyfriend by merely kissing him.

- He assures you that he is, that he’s just not used to “this”, that none of them are. You nod, trying your best not to take it to heart; not realizing that the only reason your boyfriend isn’t with you right then and there is because his personalities were worried he was having a heart attack due to how hard it was hammering in his chest.

“Should I go?” You ask hesitantly.

“I’d rather you stayed.” He replies and you smile a little.

“Can Kevin come back?” He pauses as he contemplates your question, nodding briefly before he tenses, body responding to the changing of personalities.

- Kevin immediately begins muttering out apologies once he comes through again, one’s that are shushed by you as you cup his cheek and assure him that you’re willing to be as patient with him as he needs you to be. He leans into your touch, closing his eyes and letting out a breath, relieved that you aren’t upset with him; knowing that he’s found his soulmate….

- A little side note: prior to The Horde taking over, Barry was known to front most of the time that Kevin wasn't; which seemed to be quite often considering Kevin appeared to be hidden pretty deeply inside of himself. For the sake of these headcanons, I'm going to be writing with the idea in mind that Kevin is a little more healed from his trauma and taking the spotlight once again. I'm gonna try to focus specifically on Kevin himself for most of these, but I will be mentioning the occasional alter; for what I'm sure are obvious reasons. These might not be perfectly canonical but I'm going to try my best....

- Kevin prefers staying inside rather than going out, but he finds comfort in having some level of physical contact with you whenever you're out in public together; like holding your hand or sitting thigh to thigh. Feeling your touch grounds him whenever he's feeling particularly anxious or nervous, so while he's more reserved with his affection; wanting to draw as little attention to himself as possible, he still likes having a bit of contact with you whenever he can.

- He's definitely more affectionate when you're in the privacy of your own homes: somewhere he can fully relax and feel comfortable. He'll lay his head on your shoulder, hug you from behind, hold your hand or have a hand somewhere on you, etc. He'd love it if you were even more affectionate than he is, if you wanted to touch him just for the sake of touching him; not knowing how much the mindless affection means to him. He has to get used to asking for what he wants or just doing it himself whenever he feels like it, but once he does, rest assured that he's very touchy; usually in an innocent and sweet kind of way.

- He also just loves being in your personal space, even when he isn't necessarily touching or doing anything with you. He'll oftentimes follow you from room to room, not wanting to be away from you for too long, unless he's a little overstimulated and needs some time to himself, or if another personality is fronting. When he isn't staying in the room with you, he'll typically check in on you a lot: especially if he's fronting as Dennis who doesn't always want to sit with you but definitely wants to keep an eye on you; though the man has no qualms with buckling down and observing you while you go about your own business.

- Loves, loves, loves, kisses: in the most touch starved and shy way possible. He grew up with a lack of gentle influences in his life so any form of soft affection really tends to get to him. Kiss him on his forehead, his cheeks, his nose: anywhere you want to really; it all makes him melt. It's certainly no cure for what he went through, but it's definitely a helpful medicine: it takes him out of any bad thoughts that he might be having and makes him realize that you're there and that you love him and that he's safe.

- Kisses with Kevin are gentle and oftentimes a little chaste. He's fairly inexperienced, having always kept to himself, so you'll have to be a bit patient with him. He'll sometimes lean down for a kiss, go do something, and then come back for another: like he's just remembered exactly how much he likes kissing you and can't wait too long to do it again. It never fails to make you smile and once he sees yours, he can't help but smile too.

- Kevin likes saying your name more than anything else; he just thinks that it's a really nice name, but he'll sometimes say honey or something equally sweet if he feels the need to. His other personalities tend to have pet names for you as well: things like babygirl, pet, sweetie, sweetheart, angel, darling, mine, etc. Sometimes you'll be able to tell who's fronting just by hearing what they call you when trying to address you.

- There's definitely going to be moments in time where your Spidey sense tingles and you realize that you're talking to an entirely different person than before; even if they're pretending to be someone else. You start to get a knack for telling who's who; even when they're not dressed any different, and it admittedly kind of impresses all of them.

- He always needs a hug the minute he comes home: it's the part of his day that he looks forward to the most and it genuinely becomes a routine for the two of you. The door opens, he finds you, hug. Most of the time, words aren't even exchanged: you hear him coming and you just know to open your arms.

- He typically likes to wrap himself around you whenever the two of you cuddle: spooning you from behind while also tossing a leg over your own; treating you like an oversized stuffed animal. It makes him feel comforted without the feeling of being restricted, and it makes untangling himself from you a little easier whenever he feels the need to leave, or if he ends up shifting in the morning. The feeling of his body changing against your own, the way that he seems to grow or shrink with each different personality, never ceases to amaze you.

- Late night talks. Most of them are full of comfort and reassurance: letting each other know that you're both enough, that there's no need to worry, that you both love each other, and that it'll all be okay. There's never any shame in admitting you need the other person a little more than usual, and it helps both of you sleep more soundly.

- Little acts of service make him happy. He's so used to his personalities taking care of him that it feels good to take care of someone else. He mimics your acts of love and the things he always wanted as a child but never got: like making you lunch, brushing your hair, getting you medicine, etc.

- You both take care of each other equally: cooking for one another, helping cut each others hair, straightening out clothes, him carrying you to bed or walking you home, etc. You might not always have a lot to offer each other, but you definitely have a whole lot of love, and that's always been enough for the two of you.

- Running errands together. You sort of act like a married couple, going about your daily lives side by side, making the most mundane and trivial things into a date; always wanting to spend time with each other regardless of what you're doing during it.

- Receiving flowers. Sometimes it's an entire bouquet, other times it's a singular flower sitting on your bedside table or on the pillow next to your head. It's a move that Dennis and/or Patricia will occasionally pull as well: not necessarily in a romantic sense, but definitely in a "showing I care" kind of gesture; so that you know that they like and appreciate you.

- Watching movies together. It's kind of routine for the two of you to sit down and watch a movie; or an episode of a tv show, every time that you're together. Typically, it's a documentary, but he's open to watching pretty much anything; as long as you're spending time with Kevin himself.

- Hearing a lot of random animal facts. Kevin works in a zoo so it's sort of a given that he knows a lot about mammals and their different environments. Sometimes, he'll randomly occupy whatever silence you're in with a tidbit of information, sharing something completely unrelated to anything but arguably pretty interesting. He always loves when you chime in with something he's told you before: it makes him feel like you really care about and listen to him.

- Being let into the zoo late at night and/or being taken on personal tours. He probably brings you home stuffed animals or different things from the gift shop as well.

- Buying things that remind you of each other.

- Sharing clothes. You've begin wearing larger sizes; if you're smaller than him, so that you know your stuff will fit him. You've also begun keeping extra clothes in your apartment and your car so that he can always be comfortable, regardless of which alter is in charge. It's especially helpful when he shifts into the beast, who has a habit of tearing or dirtying clothing; or loosing his clothes in the process of shifting.

- Visiting abandoned buildings and exploring or having picnics in the rubble.

- Going camping. He likes being able to get away from regular society for a while, and it's occasionally good for him to let the beast have his time in the spotlight; especially when there's no one around for him to hurt.

- Building blanket forts. Kevin loves them himself, but they're also a treat for Hedwig as well.

- Taking walks together at night; usually stopping into convenience stores or random parks.

- Writing notes to each other. Sometimes, it's just easier for him to communicate through writing rather than actual words. His letters are never terribly intricate or poetic, but it helps him express himself and/or tell you what he's feeling without the pressure of having to be there for your reaction or "face it" in some way; even when he isn't admitting anything bad. It's just that any big emotion can be hard for him to handle and writing to you makes dealing with them a little easier.

- Kevin probably wont allow you to help him whenever he's injured, unless he's somewhat forced to, but that's no slight on you: he simply finds it difficult to surrender himself fully and be completely vulnerable with someone.

- That being said: don't be surprised when another personality takes over if you accidentally burn or cut yourself. It's typically Patricia who ends up tending to your injuries, but Kevin does try to stick around in an effort to be "there for you more"; even if you assure him that you don't mind him leaving if it makes him more comfortable. You should also expect to be gently ushered out of harms way; typically the kitchen if you hurt yourself trying to make dinner, and for him/her to take over and finish whatever you were doing. It's simply the motherly instinct, and there's really no stopping it.

- Coming home to your apartment and finding things randomly straightened up or rearranged, organized in a certain way that tells you that Dennis was there; at least for a brief moment. It's probably best to keep a clean and neutral area for Kevin to be in whenever he's in your home; mainly to ensure that all your knickknacks aren't all turned perfectly straight or your DVDs aren't put in a different place.

- On that same note: don't be surprised if you get "interrupted" mid conversation by him straightening out your tie or brooch, or the collar of your jacket. You get used to it easily enough, so much so that you start to not even notice or acknowledge it.

- Having things spoiled by Hedwig. He's the reason that you know as much as you do: informing you if another personality has a crush on you, or if Kevin is "totally in love with you", or even if he's planning on proposing at some point. You have to pretend not to know for everyone else's sake, but it still makes your heart skip a beat every time he drops a bombshell on you then innocently giggles in amusement.

- A lot of Barry's sketches start to resemble you: whether it's you in general or just things that fit your style. You sort of become like his muse, giving him inspiration when he can't find it anywhere else. Don't be surprised if he gifts you handmade clothing either: it's part of his love language; that and actually showing you his sketches.

- Getting asked a lot of questions. Kevin likes to know you inside out, as does a lot of his more protective personalities, so it's best to always be an open book. Once they trust you enough, they'll be one as well.

- He always listens to you very intently, so much so that I think he occasionally doesn't realize exactly how much he knows about you and your interests until he starts speaking and is suddenly wondering where it's all coming from. Like, why does he know anything about different nail colors, or art supplies, or your estranged aunt who lives in a different state? Regardless, knowing a lot about your interests, your inspirations, and/or your morals helps him and his personalities open up to and trust you.

- Having help whenever you need something fixed. He built a cult dungeon in a zoo basement, I think he can fix your faulty cabinet hinges.

- He keeps a photo of you in his wallet and occasionally has you make appearances in his different computer journals.

- He's a very "my girlfriend this, my girlfriend that" kind of guy. He's very proud of you.

- He has a tendency to ask you who you've "seen" when he knows he's swapped personalities, or asks what you were talking about, etc. Sometimes you lie, mainly for his sake, but most of the time you just tell the truth.

- Strange encounters with The Beast. If he decides he likes you, he'll occasionally come out from time to time and talk about his world order, or about Kevin, or about how you should be proud of your pain, etc. Unfortunately for you, sometimes when you're struggling, it's not your boyfriend or Patricia or someone else who comes around to help you. Instead, it's the thing lurking in the shadows, ready to strike whoever hurt you and make you rejoice in your suffering; oftentimes with a strange level of sexual energy.

- Occasionally being asked to participate in sessions with his therapist. She wants to know how you're handling the relationship and things of that nature, and when you're not in the room with him, she typically tells him that she thinks you're good for him; which further reassures his personalities.

- All of his life; and all of the personalities lives, Kevin has simply wanted to be liked, validated, and/or deemed important. So whenever you praise him, it never fails to make him melt. It's a good way to make him relax and calm him down, letting him know that you're proud of him whenever he's being hard on himself or that you're not upset with him for anything; like when he accidentally messes something up.

- Kevin isn't really a jealous person, he's mainly just insecure. He worries that he's not enough for you, or that another person might be better than him; or at least easier to be with than him. He's a bit more envious than he is jealous, wishing he could be more like someone else, or be the person that they are to you; so that you could come to him instead.

- He tries to act normally, but he occasionally zones out a little whenever your attention is on someone else more than usual, knowing that it will upset him to see or hear you so happy and/or relaxed with them. His other personalities might respond differently as well; they also have more of a chance of coming out in order to try and protect Kevin from whatever he might be feeling. There's also the occasional jealousy between personalities, which is an interesting predicament to try and navigate.

- His personalities protectiveness has definitely begun to bleed from him onto you. Whether or not they all love you, they cannot deny the negative effect that losing you would have on Kevin and how much it would genuinely hurt him. Because of this, they've become incredibly protective of you; especially personalities like Dennis or The Beast. That being said: as protective as they are of you, you're protective of Kevin as well; which makes him feel so happy and loved.

- Fights happen extremely rarely between you and Kevin; you're more likely to bicker with his personalities than you are with Kevin himself. You'll especially get into arguments with The Beast and Dennis, trying to make them see the rights and wrongs of what they're doing and to try and make them stop being so stubborn. Genuine confrontations might occur from time to time, but most of the time, you try to have loving interventions whenever there's a problem between the two of you: ones that are easy to talk out and make up from.

- Kevin himself is extremely bad at confrontation so you have to be very sweet with him whenever he calmly tries to solve an issue with you. If you show any level of anger or disappointment; or even if you don't, he has a tendency to backpedal and just tell you that he's sorry and that you should both just forget about it. It hurts your heart to see it; knowing where it comes from, so regardless of the issue at hand, you honestly can't help but comfort him, which makes solving things a lot easier since you usually maintain a more level head.

- I can definitely The Horde refusing to let you leave whenever you have a fight; whether with Kevin or one of the other personalities. They refuse to acknowledge the connotations of you leaving angry, how you can just decide to never come back, and how much that would kill Kevin; how upset and guilty he would feel because of it. Because of this, they simply don't let it happen, which can be extremely frustrating; and possibly a bit scary. But after a while, you start to calm down and think more clearly.

- It's more than likely that another personality will take over during any sort of conflict and try to smooth things over, trying to ensure that things are solved and settled and oftentimes making excuses. It's difficult to handle at first, but you learn how to deal with it, just like everything else in your relationship.

- It takes him a while to feel comfortable saying he loves you; unless it's Hedwig saying it, but he finds a lot of comfort in you telling him that you love him, and soon enough, he finds comfort in saying it himself. Once he is comfortable, he says it fairly often, loving the fact that he's in love; something he thought wasn't possible for a large portion of his life, and the fact that he can express it.

- Kevin genuinely believes the two of you are soulmates. He thinks you're an angel on Earth and that there's no one else in the world that he'd rather be with than you, so you can definitely expect a very long future together. It might not always be easy, nothing ever is, but if there's anyone worth the potential trouble, it's certainly him.

[shithowdy]

New Vegas Divide and Big MT Locations

A lot of discussions I find on the matter tend to ultimately be met with the answer of, "It's a fake place somewhere in Death Valley, it doesn't matter exactly where". I can understand not needing this information to enjoy the story, but unfortunately, I'm roleplaying a prequel set in 2276 so I want some goddamn specifics 💅

SO. My own speculation on The Divide's more precise location below the cut. Apologies if anyone has supplied this theory before, I got a little tired of browsing reddit threads full of incurious wiki-thumpers.

(tl;dr it's a developed Fort Irwin)

The Divide and the named places in it obviously don't correlate as directly with real locations like the rest of the game, but this makes sense. In a differing timeline where the nuclear arms race seems to have only shifted in players, not ethics, it's easy to imagine that the area surrounding desert military operations and nuclear development sites would grow in importance (I similarly have mentioned Los Alamos being a much bigger city in our RP for the same reason). The Mojave was a hub for nuclear R&D and even today houses one of our warheads, of course it would boom (pun unavoidable). So the first thing I did was ignore cities, even "Ashton". A location named Ashton does exist further north beyond the Nevada border, but nothing about it geographically matches what we interact with in game.

Instead, I thought about the geography itself. What we know about the Divide is that the detonations there made CA-127 unusable, forcing NCR supply chains trying to reach Hoover Dam to enter via the 15 and Mojave Outpost.

We also know it was east of established NCR territory, west of the main NV game map, and north of the 15.

This means its radius is limited to something like this.

Looking at the overlay, and knowing that the "default story" courier had been for some time delivering supplies between the established NCR and Ashton/Hopeville, their route taking them from The Hub (formerly Lancaster), the industrial and trade center of New California, and this new city makes the most sense.

(As an aside, I have to say that I'm very sorry to classic players upset about the map retcon, because that damn geography doesn't even match what the text implies. The Necropolis is Barstow, not Bakersfield?? Anyway.)

Further evidence that the courier's route brought them from the Hub is a note by a merchant from there who appears to have found their old route after the bombs...

... and Nash explaining that the Courier was initially hired at The Hub in the first place, indicating an established presence there.

So we have the general radius. How do we get more specific? What I think a lot of people ignore when trying to pinpoint the area are the quakes set off by the subterranean bombs and the effect they had on the landscape: gaping geological scars that run East-West, indicating a sensitive fault line at this angle.

The immediately clear answer to this was the Ridgecrest fault.

Okay, so we have a good candidate for a fault line. What sits below it? In our timeline, the remote Fort Irwin and its surrounding military desert combat training sites (complete with simulated villages), and the Goldstone site satellite complex. If you were going to use existing infrastructure as building blocks for new and grander development in this region, the roads, electricity, water treatment, and radio towers here would be the ideal choice. Let's see if it lines up.

You know what? I'll take it. A circular central interchange that branches out through mountainous areas situated just below the Ridgecrest fault. So where does that place Big MT? We know it's south of Hopeville, but it can't interfere with I-15. This necessitates an area of (currently) high elevation with caves below surrounded by darker soil, canyon networks, but an otherwise flat landscape somewhere just south of the Divide radius.

Wouldn't you know, there just happens to be a lone mountain that sits atop an opal mine, which in a different timeline could have very easily been converted into a different excavation project. Opal Mountain, or the Black Mountain Wilderness (unrelated), is a perfect match.

So! This is obviously pure speculation based on me having the specific flavor of autism that brews when one grows up having their own brain fried by 120f weather and residual nuclear fallout. I did this for the purpose of RP, but if anyone finds it useful, yippee etc.

[cerastes]

Right, that psych/mental health post reached farther than intended. It’s nothing new, without trying to suck myself off here, for a post to embark on a journey through lots of dashboards and consequently bring new followers. Every time that happens, I fire rent-lowering gunshots and shave off that number a little. But it’s a first for me that a post of that nature breaks out, so,

First of all, it’s bittersweet that that post resonated with so many people, but I mean it, validate your emotions; the point isn’t breaking plates is fun and cathartic, you misrepresent my intentions if that is what you focus in, it’s about getting everything on a level field and not seeing these feelings as nebulous poison that cannot be avoided or curbed and thus shouldn’t be faced.

And, second but not least, that’s an exception to the rule when it comes to my posting. Normally I’d spam some anime feet and armpits, and let that sort itself out, but out of respect for the struggles and hope to improve some may have following the OP of a post like that, instead I prefer to tell you upfront that I don’t post about therapy and psychology often, nor will I start now. If you followed for that, swing and miss, dear. It’s my day job, and I make it a strict rule of mine to keep work and the rest of my life separate. I enjoy my craft, and its practice. I am proud of it. But it’s my craft, and it’s not what I do with the rest of what and who I am. It’s not what you’ll find here. In fact, the OP tag on that post is “I never do this but”, funnily enough.

I wish you the best in your own journeys because they are not easy indeed. All I can say, regardless of situation, is step out of your comfort zone, at your pace, and that does include both validating your “negative” feelings (again, those don’t exist), and acknowledging that remaining static and stagnant because of the bad things that have happened to us is a very comfortable place to be in, paradoxically, and we need to get out of that “victim’s comfort” to improve ie: “My parents made me hate myself so it’s their fault I am so miserable” vs “My parents made me hate myself, it’s their fault but that won’t define all I am and I’ll prove them wrong like the hateful idiots they are” let it be your fuel to take those hard but important steps, whichever they may be.

Anyways, I reblog risque stuff and talk about video games, so feel free to unfollow if you wanted more psych stuff, no hard feelings.

[volturiprincess]

A late night conversation with Felix (Extended Version)

Felix Volturi x human mate reader

Summary: The conversation that happens between reader and Felix late at night when reader has a hard time falling asleep Warnings: None really, just some curse words and some mentions of smut but overall cute fluff A/N: I finally got to it and I got to say it was fun to write. its not really structured like a one-shot, its more like back and forth dialogue. Something different but I loved it. There will be a second A/N in the end. F/c: favorite color Word Count: 1060 🌹~~~~~~~~~~~🌹~~~~~~~~~~~~🌹~~~~~~~~~~~~🌹~~~~~~~~~~~~🌹

(Mighty fine man)

I have been awake for the past hour chatting away with Felix. I am supposed to be sleeping but sleep appears to not be on my side currently. And it does not help that Felix just lets me talk away and does not even bother to make me fall asleep– but that is one of the many reasons why I love him. Our current situation right now is him barely fitting on the twin size bed in my dorm, his poor legs are dangling off the bed while I'm snuggled on top of him with his arms wrapped around me. This is not the first night where we have been like this, Felix likes to visit me as frequently as he can at night when he is not away on some mission or has a night guard shift. Even if I am currently in college (one that is close to Volterra), we spend a lot of time together either studying, going on dates, sex in the most risky places in my campus, and my favorite thing; lying in bed with him late at night talking about the most random crap to exist like now

“ Felix? Do you know why a raven is like a writing desk?”

I heard him take an unnecessary breath before he responded

“My dear little rose, sometimes you really are a mystery to me, what goes through that pretty head of yours when iIm not around?

“Well first of all school, and that stupid essay that's due tomorrow but then my mind wanders to you and your jaw dropping arms that just fits so perfectly around me or how your large hand makes quiet the nice necklace”

The way he gasp made me think I really did catch him off guard 

“And here I thought my little cara was a good girl and only focused on school”

“Well you thought wrong big guy, how am I supposed to think clearly when I have you as a lover? The way you know how to have me on my knees for you with just a look is just insane?”

Without even looking at him I knew he had that shark-like grin he gets when his ego is boosted which never fails to amuse me.

“You know the way you always compliment me with your modern words makes me fall for you more than you can imagine”

“Oh don't get soft on me yet big guy, you haven't even meet my delusional self when I lack sleep”

He chuckled slightly

“Oh cara, nothing could make me love you less”

“Hmmm, mind if I ask you something Fe?

“Anything amore”

“Do you have a switch? 

Dead silence once again with his small sigh 

“...No…..why?”

“Because I want to turn you on.”

The dead silence that came after made me think that I finally broke him but then the booming laugh that came out of him made me look up at him in shock. My eyebrows then furrowed in confusion when he calmed down after 5 minutes of laughter

“With that being said short stack you should get some rest, you need it”

“First of all, who are you calling short stack?”

“You obviously, look at you compared to me, you fit on this bed perfectly while im barely on it”

“Well it's not my fault you’re a whole ass unit of a man, look at you, I mean i'm not complaining, I love your size, but then again that's probably my size kink that clouds my mind when I see you”

In a teasing voice he replied

“Is that the only thing you think about when you see me, not my dashing smile, or my wonderful personality that can make you blush easily and make you weak in the knees”

“On the contrary I love those characteristics of yours, your more that I can handle half of the time”

He chuckles again and then says calmly

“Just close your eyes, i'll be here when you wake up in the morning”

“Like it's that easy Felix, you think I don't do that every night?’

“Well if you don't go to sleep then I will make you sleepy”

The dead silence after that was so thick that even Alec’s gift would be jealous.

“Is that a promise?”

He tilted my head slightly so I could look at him and he that look that look like he was going to eat me whole and that instantly sent an electric feeling of aroused to my core

“If you don't fall asleep soon then….no sex for a week”

The audacity of this man– well vampire has to deny me sex for a week is absurd, who does he think he is to say such a thing?

“You wouldn't dare”

“Oh but I will”

“You wouldn't last a day without being intimate with me”

“Oh but I managed to last centuries without having sex”

“Well I uh, now it's different Felix, found your mate now, you wouldn't last a day”

“So you want to bet on that then?”

“WHAT no, are you insane, i'm only saying you wouldn't last, me on the other hand, well that's a different story”

“Alright I won't deny you what you desire, but you need to sleep already tesoro, I don't want you to fall asleep in your classes”

“Well then you haven't met my english professor have you, he has this monotone voice that sounds like a combination of Kermit the frog and a flat line, I don't know whether to hold in a laugh or to fall asleep”

“Kermit the Frog? Who is that?”

“Oh right your like a million years old, he's a muppet and he's a frog obviously”

“A muppet? I never heard of that, is he like a puppet then?”

“In a way, you know what, tomorrow night we will have a movie night and I will show you the muppet movie, okay my love?”

“Alright, but now sleep or I will be serious about my threat”

“Ok ok, don't need to be dramatic now, look i'll close my eyes now”

Unfortunately the minute I closed my eyes, sleep over took me and I passed out in a minute in the coldness that naturally Felix releases and my f/c quilt draped over me that Felix got me for my birthday last year. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: The part where I said about having a professor that has a voice combination of Kermit and a flat line is true. Anyways, I hope you like it and my I will start working on a Jasper one-shot, I got inspiration from a song recently so something to look forward to.

[dark-lord-of-awesomeness]

I'm flinging this out for the Ford Makes A Bad Wish AU. Only as a What If for the backstory. It's too sad.

Ford forgot something about wishing himself out of existence.

He very much did it accidentally. And he didn't know that it'd work. But he did mean it.

First a tiny change to canon. Ford was looking for alternatives to the Time Wish, but the option he found best to remove Bill's threat wouldn't work on him because he's too powerful. He forgets that he's carrying the object in his pockets.

His meeting with Stan becomes even more chaotic and disastrous because of the tiny change. More time passes, or maybe Bill was angrier because of that wish so he sent his buddy earlier to Ford. They say more hurtful words to each other because of the stress. Stanley's in danger because of both the portal and the demon.

Ford, already on the edge because their argument was even worse and now they're in concrete danger both, takes a physical blow meant for Stanley. The last of Ford's mental defenses break.

This is all his fault. If not for him, Stanley wouldn't be in this situation. Wouldn't be hurt. Wouldn't be close to the source of the apocalypse. Wouldn't have to fight off the demon. The portal wouldn't exist without Ford and his foolishness.

He agrees with Stanley's wish he uttered in his anger just a few minutes ago.

The device in his pocket reacts. Two people said the name of the same person that should be erased. When Ford remembers, this kickstarts his involuntary fading from sheer despair, because this confirms to him that it is better if he never existed. Especially because Bill still tries to grab him for opening the portal.

He doesn't tell or doesn't get to tell Stanley, seemingly vanishing. He finds out about the wish through another comic of the revamp he's writing, trying to find Ford. (He does find and save Ford, but first they must go through the horrors.)

Ooh I like this. A little confused about the end though? Who is finding out about the wish? Is Stan rescuing Ford? When and where?

My only thing is I don't think Stan would ever wish Ford never existed, but I fully believe Ford would wish it upon himself if Stan got hurt by something Bill sent after Ford summoned him.

Ford has whatever wish granting object on his person, Stan shows up, they fight, everythings falling apart, and Stan gets hurt. Stan's hurt, and its Fords fault, just like the portal, like Bill, like Fiddleford losing it, like everything. Everything is his fault.

If only he never existed in the first place, then-

And thats enough to trigger whatever object he has on him.

Ford rewrites his own dimension into one that had never existed, and the only reason he didn't cease to exist entirely is because Stan was also there, maybe close enough or also touching the object in some way and his wish to save Ford from whatever was happening wasn't enough to cancel out Fords wish but it was enough to make it so that Ford still exists and links Stan to the original timeline.

So Ford pops in, disheveled and wide eyed in what is now Stan's house, bewildered at the change and the fact that he exists at all, only to see Stan staring at him, fully healthy and in shock at the full grown man who popped into existence in front of him.

Then their adventure as not-twin twins starts, Ford trying to undo his wish, realizing the truth of his original Stan's life through this Stan's comics, realizes through Stan's comics of his life that Stan is somehow the key to undoing the wish, but now has to grapple with the choice of restoring their awful reality and condemning Stan to a life of misery, or stepping away and letting his wish erase him completely.

And also Bill's here :) He'd like the first one please? He was very close after all :)

[ruins-of-tragedy]

I have seen a few different takes on this, Yang losing her arm due to Adam. And then I saw one so bad, it hasn't stopped bothering me yet.

Someone claimed Yang couldn't keep her limb because, by extension of the plot, Blake was responsible for its loss. Since she brought about Adam in the first place.

My problem with a technicality this fallible? It takes away from the accountability all people should have. Which in turn just continues to allow pieces of absolute pure garbage to keep on at their rampage in the name of narrative.

Sure, he only got there since Blake happened to be his leading motivation. However, hurting Yang was a decision he chose to take. Of his own accord. Even if Blake didn't care about one of our favourite blondes, I am a 1000% sure Adam would have done it still. (He was literally about to murder an innocent Atlas student, for the sole reason of existing in front of him, when Blake saw the Taurus again in volume three.)

If you go by the "narrative" excuse, then Cinder being able to come to power was Ozpin's fault. Pyrrha's death is also on him. He is supposed to keep it all from happening and am convinced Salem sent Cinder over especially prepared for that guy.

This logic is flawed to me because it implies people like Blake and Ozpin want such stuff to take place. Even though that's the farthest bit from the truth. Especially considering they are always doing absolutely everything in their power to stop these very things from happening.

Their efforts fell short, yes. But that doesn't automatically translate to 'they did not try enough.' Or somehow should have seen it all coming from where they were standing.

In our own life, many situations take place where we have no control over how they can begin to manifest. If we blame ourselves for stuff like that... Well, let's just say hating who you are because you were in the wrong place at the wrong time will be the least of your worries. And it ain't a pretty shade of being.

Evil forever has an advantage over the good because it literally won't stop at anything. The best people have limits, morals and standards they hold themselves up to. When they cross those lines, we don't hold back from criticising such actions. Do we?

If we are keeping the good accountable to these lengths, why not the bad too? Because that's just the way they are? Can't expect anything better from them? So, we should blame and punish the ones fighting against the monsters for it?

Folks like Adam don't care anymore. He may have been through a lot, but using that as a justification to harm innocent people is not going to make everything better.

Adam suffered a tremendous amount, but he is the one making others suffer too now. Perpetuating that cycle is a fault. He turned into a callous and selfish little creature who inflicts pain because he can. Chooses to do so. That's not anyone else's shortcoming but his own. Even a narrative can only make much sense if the characters allow themselves to become capable enough of going that far. Therefore, they should be apprehended and treated accordingly.

[hostilemuppet]

im curious what ur thoughts on bliss was? i remember her inclusion was super controversial back when cn heavily promoted her intro episode as the "4th powerpuff girl"

my thoughts on bliss:

literally everything about her makes it so obvious they just wanted another powerpuff to sell merch of. even her being a teenager, i am almost positive that was specifically bc they saw how popular the clipsville teen designs were as annoying peoples pfps, but they simplified her body to the point it looks ugly. id like to say it was just to be easier on the animators, but considering the ms bellum and ms keane situations it is NOT looking good

back on bliss specifically: they made her body basically the standard powerpuff body, just taller and with massive hips, which is jarring not only because she looks just like her 5 year old sisters but because the black girl is the only one with emphasis on her curves. and people more qualified than me have said it before MANY times but its clear the creators only thoughts were "we should add a black powerpuff for diversity" without realising how making the black girl the unstable one who needed to be isolated for the good of society maybe didnt have the best optics (which is a common trend with buttercup fanart too but thats a separate issue. youd just hope theyd have learned their lesson by 2016. or at least by the time they were making cw...)

for writing, a lot of bliss' faults on a conceptual level link back to the character assassination of the professor. in 98 he was a well meaning and competent father who, while he made mistakes sometimes (there are. Several Episodes where he gets a new interest and starts neglecting his 5 y/o daughters 😭) he loved his children and would never do anything to hurt them. in 2016 he locked bubbles and buttercup in a hot car for hours because he was mad at blossom. there are several occasions where he cant tell them apart. LOOK AT THIS CLIP

they made the professor go from a good dad who loved his daughters to, and i realise this sounds oversensitive, actually abusive 😭 then when you get to the bliss episodes he gets 100x worse. the only reason he tried to make a child in the first place, wasnt because he wanted to be a dad or even to make the world a better place, it was because he wanted to one up another scientist who made a super child. from day one the professor didnt care about his kids, he saw them as a science experiment, as trophies, as his ticket to fame. they made him dick hardly.

and the fact bliss is then shipped off to space and only seen a few times after is even worse! from the professors pov, he was finally reunited with his daughter he had spent TEN YEARS mourning, then immediately let her go to space alone to do a job that should have just been a one day thing, but then they just establish she stayed in space to fight aliens (which blossom then. doubts the existence of in a completely unrelated episode. bc this show is a fucking trainwreck). as if she hadnt missed her dad for a DECADE. and thats not even getting into a later episode where, after blossom clones herself twice, professor says hes happy "as long as the amount of daughters i have remains a prime number". HE THOUGHT HE HAD 3 (5) DAUGHTERS AND NOT 4 (6)! he already forgot about bliss! the writers forgot about bliss! because she was nothing but a cash grab to drum up hype! look weve got another powerpuff girl! theres four now! (shed actually be the 7th powerpuff girl (bunny, bullet, and princess), 8th if you count mojo in mr mojos rising, maybe even 9th if you count power prof, but the creators of this show clearly didnt care)

and obviously i dont need to get into how atrocious her design is

everything from her random cyan hair despite every other ppg having a natural hair colour, the fact her stockings became leggings, the way they dont understand the girls wear mary janes and they interpret the white as part of the shoe design instead of the gap that shows the socks underneath (more obvious in a shot in the ep where she gets her shoes knocked off), even her skin is a super ashy brown but thats not really a problem specific to her, everyone in this show is extremely pale with horrible colour palettes

tldr: theres a reason my bliss rewrite/redesign changed basically everything about her

[coralbae]

Hi, luv! I’ve gotten a few asks about our work being very similar and I wanted to let you know about it.

They say you copied my tattoo SMAU, but I know that is not true. As I addressed in my post, concepts exist for a reason. Yours wasn’t even close to mine! I’ve seen this as a trend lately tbh. People forget that we are humans and can have similar ideas without copying each other 💔

Sorry if this is weird. I wanted to let you know that these rumors are being spread so you may address them as well or just be aware of them. Love your works! <3

Okay guys who is trying to get me done for plagiarism 🫨🩴

First of all, what I'm about to say has NOTHING to do with Bitty, she has been nothing but kind and open minded about this whole situation so you'd better not hold anything against her for reaching out to me to let me know what is going on, but I just had a few things I wanted to say.

Tattoo's aren't a niche topic, I've seen a handful of tattoo SMAUs since I started reading. If it were something way more niche, and the dialogue near identical, then I would understand why readers would be concerned. I did have a look at the SMAU and the prompt is not even the same 😭 so I do think you were reaching a bit.

The smau was also a request, and I have previously done another tattoo smau so its not like I just discovered what tattoos were right after Bitty posted. I do delete asks containing requests, so maybe thats where the confusion came from? But once again, I genuinely do not think that they were similar enough to warrant suspicion.

I do believe anon also insinuated that this isn't the first time I've 'copied' Bitty, and I have no idea what anon is referring to but you can easily just come to me and ask about it and I would address it, there's no need for vigilantism here, it's really not that serious. And if i blow up, it's because it feels more like an attack than open dialogue, but you'd be on anon once again so I won't even know who to direct it at 😝

Lately I have seen a lot of policing, complaining and allegations against other creators and I am actually so sick of it bc some of it is so silly and it seems that some great creators are being discouraged because of this. Out of fear of being cancelled, I will not elaborate on this but just know sometimes it flabbers my gasters.

There are times I have little lightbulb moments but then I see another writer post something within that scope so then I just give up on it because I don't want to get body searched by the tumblr police, I'm sure other writers have had similar experiences.

If you’re coming from a place of genuine concern: thank you for looking out for creators that you like, but you really need to be careful with your wording in future instances.

If you’re a 16 year old looking to start drama: go do your homework bae <3

May we all use context clues, some critical thinking, our words and good intentions better 🙏🏻

If you made it to the end, thank you for reading all of this, it was just a coinkidink that got a bit too much attention. I try to be as nice as possible to everyone one here because we just wanna be delusional and have some fun reading, so if you have nothing to do with this hopefully my crashout was entertaining. I hope you understand where I am coming from and why i feel the need to defend myself 😤🤺

If you think I am overreacting, I probably am bc i have a short fuse but its your 🫵🏼 fault, just remember you're on anon so I have no clue what your intentions are and the fact that you didn't want this to circle back to me makes it seem more strange (if that was not your goal, just know that this it how it came across to me, we don't need to sneak diss like drake bc we all just want to have some fun at the end of the day) xoxoxo 🫶🏼

ps. hopefully this was a valid crashout, also i am not posting tonight or tomorrow because i spent too long crashing out over this to have spare time 💀

[helloarchivist]

every time you speak of shanks an angel gains back its wings. your latest post about shanks and how the fandom depicts him badly... like yes you get it.

I would like to think this side of the fandom, that yk contributes with fan work and shares a safe place, understands and loves one piece's themes and depth of the characters better than well, power scalers for example. Like I'm pretty sure everyone dislikes power scaling because it excludes the themes, plot and characters' personalities and thoughts, only making it about 'feats' and strength.

But ironically the same happens on this side of the fandom with characters' fanon archetypes. Watering down characters' personalities into a few 'main'' features and making them almost as shallow as power scalers do. And dear god does Shanks' 'incompetent' -archetype piss me off. When Shanks is exclusively portrayed as just an alcoholic, not taking anything seriously, bad at reading emotions and his crew is always exasperated with him. This depiction is just so frustrating because it doesn't feel like Shanks at all??? Like where do people get this interpretation of him??

1. Alcohol abuse. Do we ever even see Shanks drunk? Yes we see him drinking and partying (with Mihawk, Makino and Ace at least) but in these moments it seems like he's genuinely just having fun, he's celebrating Luffy. No one calls Zoro an alcoholic even though he is drinking Sake for breakfast, lunch and dinner. But bcs Shanks drinks beer when partying or IN A BAR and Sake in like that one scene with Becks he has alcohol problems. ok. cool.

2. Not taking anything seriously. Bruh. Again I feel like there's more moments where Shanks is serious than where he isn't. I don't even know what to say to this bcs the material speaks for itself.

3. Bad at reading emotions/just incompetent. Kinda going together with the previous point. I think this comes from that scene with Buggy where they were literally kids that just lost their whole family. How was Shanks supposed to know what to do there when Buggy didn't know either. Idk how people can blame Shanks in that situation, NEITHER ONE was at fault. To me he is one of the most competent characters in the whole show. He's an emperor of the sea yet not ruthless and evil like Kaido and Big Mom (or the WG). He handles situations maturely and ends more fights than starts them. Let's a lot of bullshit slide by the next generation like with Kidd and Bart. People seem to love him and be comfortable with him (that one lady hugging him sigh im jealous). Whitebeard pirates trusting him with Whitebeard and Ace's burial. etc.

4. His crew is always exasperated with him/He's a bad captain. Bro howwww HOW. Beck has like one line that's something like "Shanks is a lot" and to me that's just teasing. No one says that Luffy and Roger are bad captains even though they seem more chaotic than Shanks, but again it's an issue only when Shanks' crew teases him bruh!! He has a healthy relationship with his crew like Luffy cmon guys. But ig this headcanon only exists if you already think that Shanks is an alcoholic or something. Bcs I just can't understand it otherwise.

Okay this has gotten insanely long I'm so sorry LOL. I really needed to rant this out it seems... and I could've ranted even more. Ik he's just a fictional character and it's not that serious yada yada. Buuuuut I just wish we could see his character be explored more in the fandom!! I feel like this archetype is just misunderstanding his character so badly it genuinely hurts my brain. Anyways. Thank you for always blessing us with amazing Shanks headcanons. Genuinely like a breath of fresh air. SORRY THIS IS SO LONG SJKFHSK

Okay so first PLEEEEASE never apologize for sending me long impassioned messages I love hearing from people and I love talkin about Shanks (or anything anyone wants to talk about!) together!

I wanna go through this point by point so I don't miss anything so i'm gonna put this under the cut for ease of viewing but for your primary point I REALLY agree. I feel like a lot of people selectively ignore character nuance unless its about their faves, or easy to digest, and so especially people who have already kind of written Shanks off will just take the top 2 surface level traits we see of him--carefree and silly--and just throw everything else out with the bathwater.

Which like. To a degree I understand there are like 70 relevant and recurring characters outside the Strawhats and nobody is gonna put max brain power into all of them, but I feel like there's a difference between skimming a character and totally mischaracterizing them--and then dunking on or hating that character BASED on said mischaracterization. Weird work, to say the least. But okay, the rest under the cut --

You put the points by numbers so I will too just for the sake of organization.

Okay, so, Shanks' alcohol usage is implied in canon to be a dependency issue, but NOT in the way fandom tends to want to write him. We have actually seen Shanks drunk several times--the manga does a better job of depicting that clearly than the anime does but it's whatever--but generally when him being intoxicated is getting focus, it's to parallel Rayleigh, Rayleigh's drinking problem, and the implied reasons for said drinking problem. Shanks has spent the better part of 25 years pretty regularly intoxicated, but because it's implied that he knows things about the world, about the war that's coming, about what Roger saw and learned, perhaps about his own lineage, and the stress of that knowledge is driving him to drink. There is a major tonal difference between the times where he's shown drinking with his friends and having a party, and the times when he's shown actively drunk, but the parts of the fandom who have chosen him to shit all over for no reason tend to throw out both the context of him having fun with his friends AND the context of him drinking to deal with the stress of his position and just chalk it up to "dumb irresponsible alcoholic who is lazy and drinks constantly expecting to have his messes cleaned up for him" which is like soooooooooooooooooooooo endlessly infuriating lmfao.

This one gets under my skin all the time. Shanks puts on a silly goofy exterior and acts like he's too laid back to be bothered about things on purpose!!!! Either to make his friends and the people around him feel more comfortable, or to stop stupid disputes in bars from escalating to violence all the time. Shanks, in generally, is a really kind and laid back guy. He wants to have fun with his friends without them being uncomfortable around him due to his stature or status, and also doesn't want to have to end up fighting idiots left right and center. The fact that he's laid back most of the time is a SIGN of how seriously he takes his responsibilities, both as captain and as an emperor. Shanks will be like "I'm not gonna pick a fight with these people over a little spilled liquor lol" and people will really be like "look he's so stupid and lazy he won't even fight back" and i'm like. Y'all just drew the same conclusions as an 8 year old. Like surely y'all realize how sad that is right?? He's dedicated his entire adult life to being responsible for the world, it's fate, the new generation, and whatever job Roger left him saddled with, stopped a war, stopped Kaido and Big Mom from going on a rampage, tried his damndest to get Whitebeard to recall Ace before things went south, lost his ARM to make sure Luffy was safe and people will just like close their eyes and plug their ears about it. Sighs.

Shanks is both deeply observant and incredibly emotionally competent, and that's part of why he plays things so close to his chest!!! He purposefully makes his public persona a little flighty and vague because it's better for everyone if he's not honed directly in on everything. His internal monologue and thoughts are always apt, perceptive, thoughtful, and compassionate, but as always those things get swept under the rug bc applying nuance to this man makes it harder for people to write him off as a dumb drunk slut. :/ Also the people who put the blame on him for the miscommunication after Roger's death boggle my mind. Shanks and Buggy were 14 years old, had just watched their father figure be killed by marines after having spent a year watching his health deteriorate and their crew fall apart, and suddenly found themselves totally alone in a hostile world. They were children. Buggy was terrified because it seemed like the last tie he had to a stable life--his best friend--was giving up before his eyes, and Shanks was overwhelmed by loss and fear and the burden of whatever Roger left at his feet to accomplish. Of course they fucked up that interaction. Most adults wouldn't have probably handled that very well. Idk what people wanted out of them exactly but whatever lol.

This one is so crazy because if you look with your eyes for even one second at the Red Hair Pirates it's CLEAR that they all fucking adore him. Everyone is always looking at him with so much fondness, affection, and respect, they tease him about things sure but it's always playful and in good fun!!! Benn has a bit of resting serious man face and a dry sense of humor, but it's really clear when he's just teasing Shanks to get a rise out of him, and how much affection and mutual respect is there. And yet there's a really dedicated part of the fandom that constantly writes like his crew and everyone who has ever cared for him is just faking it ig?? And can hardly tolerate him?? Or think he's a bad captain? Like they could have made it that far if his crew didn't respect him lmfao. IDK how they all mesh how universally adored he is by his crew and subordinate crews in canon with their world view because it is not subtle at ALL.

Okay I think that covers all your points!!! tl;dr is I fully agree, I think people are really determined to dislike and misunderstand him for reasons that boggle my mind, and it's frustrating to see lmfao.

Thank you so much for your message and your kind words, I'm glad I can offer a little bit of a Shanks Sanctuary here!!

[robinvomit]

How do you think tim would react to having a partner that doesn't get along with Kon?

this would 100000% lie on what you mean by not getting along. is it a silent, no interaction type? is it a face making type? is it a full blown i fucking hate that guy go out of my way to be an asshole type?

anywho- v1 tim varies, so!

at first, he's just going to spiral in that crowded head of his. because he's going to keep it to himself when he notices, because that is simply what tim does. he treats it like it'll be fine, that he can compartmentalize and just go about his day, keeping you both intact where you need to be.

he learns, quickly, it is not fine. and it's a lot easier to make teammates who don't like each other get along than a partner and a best friend. he's pretty much ready to shove his fingers through his temples.

if it was just a quiet thing, maybe you mentioned once that you just don't vibe with him, he'd shrug it off. not everyone likes each other, that's fine - it doesn't get in the way of anything. yaknow? he'd possibly try to mediate like hey idk why you guys are like this but figure it out. he'd get worn out by the tension pretty quickly. he already deals with enough.

now.. it it starts getting verbal? if you decide to say something about kon? he.. looks at you for a moment, eyebrow raised like he's trying to process that you would say something in front of him, about kon, and think it was okay. he'd make a sound before telling you that you don't have to like him, but you will respect kon's place in his life, because it won't be changing.

he's not the type to shout or get mean - not at first, anyway, considering he knows exactly how to hurt someone's feelings. he would withdraw. become, somehow, even more flat and dry than usual. he would.. hm. it would be clear he was upset. like, he'd nod and be like; okay, forget i mentioned it.

because cold tim is about a thousand times worse than angry tim. because cold tim is calculated. thought out. calm.

now.. when it starts getting hostile? like, if his partner just *really* has a problem? he draws the like here ( ... theyd actually be very lucky to still be around lmfao. )

kon is one of few people that know *tim* - not the 288485 other things he's supposed to be. he knows who he is as a living, breathing human being outside of the mask - even in, especially, moments he doesn't want to exist. he's not going to sit down and let someone, regardless of relationship, cross a line about someone actually important to him.

if it's mutual? he'd sit both down and finally get loud, saying it's enough and you both either need to figure it out or leave him out of it. because he's not going to be in the middle of whatever feud they have.

if its not? he would be so quick to emotionally distance himself, followed by physically. he would be different in a very noticeable way. inviting you out less, talking less in general, no longer going on little rants and vents around you - he would basically just.. exist in your orbit when you came around.

and, knowing kon, he wouldn't make a big deal out of it. he'd put up with a good bit simply for tim's sake but tim isn't exactly the most oblivious or stupid guy around and would notice it bothered him. which, would lead to internalized guilt. because, it would be his fault for even bringing you around.

at the end of the day, tim doesn't like ultimatums. doesn't like when people feel the need to make choices for him or force him to decide. he doesn't like feeling trapped in his own life. and, he's going to make it clear that he's going to choose his friendship with kon over someone who can't even be civil enough to keep him around. clearly, if you're the one provoking, then you don't need to be around.

in a situation of it being mutual, which i dont see unless kon just thinks theyre a huge asshole, tim would.. probably still pick kon. no new person is going to get chosen over someone he has his trust put in. now.. would he snap at kon about it? without hesitation. i mean, he did threaten to kill him if he didnt shut up in the comics lmfao so, he's not beyond biting at them both.

tim isn't going to willingly add more stress and bullshit to his life. he also isnt going to be with someone who has an issue with people he's close to for.. no reason. so, it wouldnt last, at all.

[princessbrunette]

wrote this for the ppl who understand that if the cameron’s just paid attention to rafes mental health they wouldn’t be in all the shit they’re in now ……. he needs a hug and attention and love trust me i can fix him ok

cw: angry rafe, daddy issues, that’s it ig

rafe gets angry. real angry.

you know it’s happening again when you’re upstairs in his room, waiting for him to return from the conversation he’s having with his father down stairs. you hear raised voices, nothing out of the ordinary and then his fist pounding straight through a wall. you wasn’t sure what had gone on, but it had to be bad.

it used to frighten you, especially when you’d hear his footsteps thundering up the stairs to evade the situation. good on him for removing himself, you think now, but back then you might’ve stood in the corner of the room not moving, not even breathing as if to try and blend in with the wall completely. you thought alerting him of your existence might make him more mad, maybe direct it at you. you’d let him angrily pace around until he calmed, it was like clockwork. you got used to it, and the anxiety melted away into pity. no one got rafe like you did.

he slams the bedroom door behind him when he storms in and you jump a little at the way it shakes on its hinges. “ffffuck.” he growls, running his hands over his face as he changes his direction on his feet, as if he wanted to do a billion things at once. you see his hand is all fucked up, assumably from punching a hole in the wall.

“what happened, rafe?” you keep your voice calm, edging to the end of the bed closer to where he paces about.

“just— fucking— my dad is the most selfish fucking asshole i’ve ever met. all my hard work, all the shit i was breaking my back to do for him, down the drain i—” he runs a hand over his head, barking out an angry laugh.

“you hurt your hand?” you redirect the conversation. maybe it would help, you thought. he turns his hand over and barely glances over his knuckles, simply shaking it off like that would rid of the injury. he wouldn’t keep his eyes in one place, wouldn’t calm his breathing.

“that doesn’t — fuck— y’don’t get it okay? you don’t hear the way he talks to me i—” he stops where he is, fisting at his eyes with the balls of his hands, mouth gaping a little as he pants. “i don’t mean to freak out, i swear, i just get so mad and then i lose control and it’s — i’m really trying to not — i’m trying for you—” he can’t get his words out, and when he pulls his hands away his brow is creased and he has tears in his eyes. he looks younger like this, stripped back to his most vulnerable state. you instantly hop off the end of the bed, coming to him. he lets you hold his face.

“hey, it’s okay. rafe, it’s okay. i know.” you coo. even that gets him to soften a little bit. no one has ever treat him with patience or care. you’d seen the way the cameron’s treat him. no regard for his mental health, even when it’s so abundantly clear somethings not quite right. he didn’t need to be disciplined more or shut down, he needed to be loved. he needed you.

he looks at you like he’s seeing you for the first time again, his breathing slowing and you pull him to the bed and sit him down, wedging yourself beside him. “s’not your fault, rafe. we can get you some help.”

his eyes drop to his hand, avoidant once more. “i don’t need… i don’t need help— i need my dad to stop—” he goes to raise his voice again but you shush him softly, rubbing circles across his broad back.

“rafe. it’s okay. c’mon. he’ll come around.”

he clenches his jaw, but nods anyway. yeah, he’ll come around.

[electrikworm]

Long Hours

Relationships: Fox & Thorn

Content Warnings: Clone trooper Dehumanization, Blood and Injury, Broken ribs

Summary:

After a long day of work and a senator taking his frustration out on Fox he's dreading the patrol he has scheduled. However Thorn won't let his brother overwork himself any more than he already has.

Word count: 2,457

Read on Ao3

Fox groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. His patrol starts in fifteen minutes and he's gotten barely any work done.

All thanks to that karking senator. Fox wipes at the still drying blood coming from his nose and split lip with his glove. His blacks will have to go in the wash either way, a few blood stains won't make a difference.

Sighing, Fox leans his head backwards, resting it against the uncomfortable chair. The long hours he's got that day would have been bad enough without a persistent ache in his body. But the senator hardly cared how Fox's shift would be affected when he decided to take his frustration out on a clone.

A commander of the Coruscant guard shouldn't have to deal with some senator that likely only got the position thanks to his parents credits threatening him. If it came to a fight, Fox would come out on top with ease. But in reality, there's very little Fox can do against these situations.

If he were to defend himself, Fox would end up being charged with assaulting a natborn. If he refuses the demand, the shabuir will just vent his displeasure on some other clone, very likely some poor shiny. Only thing Fox can do is report the incident once its already happened.

He doesn't see much point in doing so. There would be so much flimsiwork involved and the worst the senator would be charged with is “damage of GAR property”. And even that depends on if Fox's claim is believed in the first place.

Fox checks the chrono again, annoyed at how fast time is passing. He should be getting going, but is dreading getting up. It's easy enough to ignore the pain when he barely moves.

Exhaling sharply, Fox slips his helmet on and pushes himself to his feet. He's immediately made aware of everything wrong with his body, the dark bruises that mar it, the possible cracked ribs, the sharp stinging in his knee. In fact, Fox's right leg almost gives out from under him. A couple months back, he took a blaster bolt to the leg and it hasn't been quite right since. The targetted way the senator aimed for that limb makes Fox question if the natborn might have been aware of the injury.

Fox takes a moment to dig his fingers between the plates of his leg armor to try and ease some of the pressure on his knee, hissing as it does little to help. He's going to have to walk about on that leg for hours, last thing Fox wants is for his limp to be obvious.

Shaking the limb out, Fox gets going. It takes a bit of concentration not to let on to the beating he took earlier, but it's far from the worst condition Fox has worked in.

The long, dull halls of the Senate building are a curse, making Fox's existence just that little bit harder. There are far too many natborns about for Fox's liking. He feels like they watch his every step carefully, waiting for him to slip up and let on to his weakened state.

Fox doesn't zone out whilst he walks, that would be unprofessional. No, the fact Fox was so focused on walking naturally is at fault for him only noticing Thorn moments before colliding with him.

His brothers hand on his shoulder shakes him from his stupor. “Fox?”

Giving a noise that could be both a response to his name being called or a greeting, Fox tilts his head upright. Their visors are equal in height of course, seeing as nearly all clones share the same height save for the occasional genetic deviance and shinies that have been shipped off Kamino too early.

“Just get off your shift?” Thorn asks, giving Fox the impression that his brother has completed his work for the day.

Fox shakes his head, trying to limit the amount he speaks with his split lip. “My patrol of the senate building starts in a few minutes,” he says, a hint of unclarity to his voice due to the bruising. Fox's round doesn't cover the entire building of course, but Thorn knows that so there's no point in explaining.

The way Thorn's stare seems to intensifies can be felt even through the helmet. Fox can imagine the look on his face beneath the bucket, brows furrowed as he observes his brother. Aware of Thorn's watchful eye, Fox straightens up a little more. No need to worry his vod about trivial things that Fox can and should handle on his own.

“You sure you're up to it?” Thorn asks, squeezing Fox's shoulder. The gesture is barely felt through the armor, but is appreciated none the less. That's the most comfort Fox has gotten all day. “No offence vod, but you seem a little out of it. When's the last time you slept or ate?”

Fox can't help but sigh. It hardly matters if he feels up to working or not, he'll have to do so either way. Clones get taught on Kamino that they'll have to push through pain their entire life.

“Going on patrol is hardly intense labour Thorn, I think I'll manage.” Fox rolls his neck as he speaks, hoping to release some of the tension in his spine. “And I've had plenty of rest and two meals today, I'm fine.”

He leaves out the fact that the rest he got consisted of a twenty minute nap Fox accidentally had at his desk and that all he's consumed that day was three cups of cheap caff from the dispensers clones are allowed free access to, half a ration bar and one of those horrible caffeine cubes the GAR hands out.

“I don't think this is a good idea Fox. What if there's an attack?”

“Then I'll handle it, like we were trained to do,” Fox hisses, trying to get past his brother. He's already late for his shift, delaying it more will only end up with him having to compensate with overtime.

A huff transmits through Thorn's helmet speaker before he pulls the thing off to look at Fox directly. Somehow, that makes Fox feel even more watched.

“I doubt you took the time out of your day to look at yourself in a mirror Fox, but you look kriffing terrible. Your movement is unsteady and you're limping every other step.” Torn steps closer to Fox again, tapping the front of his helmet. “If you took that thing off, I wouldn't be surprised to see eyebags bad enough to mistake for bruises.”

Fox almost laughs at the irony of that comment.

“None of that changes the fact that I have a job to do.” Fox tries to walk off, pain in his body amplified by the sudden movement, but Thorn keeps following him.

“We'll find someone to cover for you,” he says, making Fox shake his head. It's his shift, dumping it on a brother feels wrong.

“I'll see you after my shift,” Fox sighs, sidestepping to avoid his brother and continuing down the hall. Stubbornly refusing to give in seems to get Thorn to quit.

Thorn calls after Fox, wishing him good luck on the job. That's when Fox makes a mistake whilst turning back to look at his vod. Jarring his ribs with the motion, Fox can't quite bite back a pained hiss. Thorn isn't about to ignore that, no matter how much Fox tries to pick up his pace.

A firm hand on both his shoulders stops him. He'd have to shove Thorn off the get away from him now and not only does Fox not want to do that, he is also too tired to deal with additional physical exertion he can avoid.

“What happened?” Thorn asks.

Fox gets along well with his brothers, tries to look out for them. The unfortunate side effect of that is that they do the same for him, even if they wouldn't need to bother. That's why Thorn immediately clocks even a slight slip of the mask Fox has put up to hide his weakness from others.

“Nothing worth mentioning,” Fox brushes off. This kind of behaviour from natborns is far from rare.

“Can't say I agree.” With that statement, Thorn activates his comlink and announces that he needs someone to cover commander Fox's patrol.

Covering his brothers comlink with his hand, Fox glares at Thorn. He's confident Thorn can feel his stare, even with the visor blocking his eyes from view. “Stop that,” Fox hisses.

“Not until you're honest about what's wrong with you,” Thorn shoots back.

“This is a waste of time,” Fox sighs. Thorn just raises an eyebrow and keeps talking on his comm, batting away any attempt from Fox to block him from doing so. Sighing again, Fox slouches somewhat. The longer he argues, the later he'll be. “Fine.”

Fox slips his helmet off, feeling very exposed doing so in the open halls of the senate building. “Happy?” Fox asks as he watches Thorns expression become serious.

“I wasn't aware of an attack,” Thorn says. It's an optimistic thing to say. The alternative, the reality of where Fox got his injuries, is much more grim. There's a war going on and people get hurt, but these kinds of small violences, dished out by the Republics own, happen to troopers for the simple fact that they come out of a tube rather than from traditional reproduction. It solidifies the place clones hold in society, and the fact that their situation won't change any time soon.

Fox shakes his head, dull throb in his neck worsened by the motion. “Not an attack, just a senator.”

Brows furrowed, Thorn pauses, pupils in constant motion as he studies Fox's face. Fox yearns to put his helmet back on. After a moments wait, Thorn turns to his comm-conversation again, seeming to find a replacement for Fox's shift.

Fox tries to reject the change in plans, but Thorn and the trooper on the other end of the line won't budge. With a tired groan, Fox is forced to give in.

Reluctantly, Fox follows Thorn back to their barracks. Initially, Thorn and Fox hadn't slept in the same barracks, but once they'd started getting along, Thorn moved his stuff to the same one Fox resides in. Those in charge hardly care where clones sleep as long as there isn't any problems.

The room their beds are in isn't one of the largest, only a little over a dozen other troopers housed in there if it's at full capacity. Currently, there are a few clones sleeping and two awake. Greeting them as they pass, Thorn steers Fox to his bunk.

“With how neat it always is, you'd think you barely sleep in it,” Thorn jokes. Fox doesn't bring up that he's slept on the floor of his tiny office or in his chair more and more often in the past weeks.

Thorn hurries off in search of the barracks medkit whilst Fox stashes his armor. He doesn't mind being out of it here, among his brothers, but he despises wearing anything else outside. Fox always feels exposed, even when wearing his off-duty grays.

Once he's returned, Thorn lays the medkit out on the bunk. This is far from the first time Fox has had to be patched up by one of his brothers. He's had to do so for his vode many times too.

With any other injury, they'd go to a med bay, to a medic, but anything related to a natborn venting anger at one of them would just cause a hassle.

Fox hisses as Thorn wipes his face down with a disinfectant wipe, the contact with any open wound stinging.

“Was it someone new?” Thorn asks, expression pinched in concentration.

“No, he's already on the list.”

Fox can't remember who started the list of dangerous natborns, but it's always been a good help. Since its creation, they make sure to never make shinies work near those people if it can be avoided. Having to deal with abusive assholes in the first few weeks of being stationed on Coruscant never does shinies any good. You can tell when a shinies been through that, they're different, skittish, jumpy, more likely to be chewed up and spat out by the planets dark alleys and maze-like city structure. Clones go missing on Coruscant all the time, Fox would rather avoid upping the probability of that outcome.

With the cuts cleaned, Thorn begins cutting a bacta patch into smaller pieces and sticking them on the worst of Fox's facial injuries. He offers some bacta gel for Fox's split lip, but he declines. Once the stuff gets in your mouth, you can barely get rid of the taste. Fox doesn't want to spend the next few hours thinking about the way bacta tastes.

Fox's bruised side and knee get coated in bacta as well, and Thorn even manages to find a cooling pack to help with Fox's ribs.

After removing his own armor, Thorn sits next to Fox on the bunk. “I don't think you're concussed, but be careful the next few days anyway, alright?”

“I'll be fine,” Fox says, adjusting the way he holds the cold pack to his side. He's certain he must have cracked a rib or two, but the cold helps a little. Their medkits don't carry painkillers, so Fox will just have to live with what remains of the pain.

“I was right about the eyebags,” Thorn says. “Even under all that bruising, I can still see how bad they are.”

“You don't look much better.”

Thorn scoffs. “At least I've slept a full six hours of the last 24.”

Fox finds he doesn't have a counter argument for that. For a moment, the hushed chatter of the two other wake clones and faint snoring from one of the sleeping ones are the only sounds accompanying them.

“You should sleep now, whilst you can,” Thorn states.

“Can't,” Fox replies. “I had a caffeine cube.”

“That wasn't very smart,” Thorn laughs, elbowing Fox's good side. Fox shoots Thorn a dirty look.

“I was planing to work for the next six hours at least, so it seemed necessary.”

“You don't need to sleep to rest,” Thorn says, leaning against the wall behind the bunk. After a moments hesitation, Fox leans on his brothers shoulder, sighing deeply. The caffeine is keeping his mind active, but Fox's body is feeling the wear and tear of the past days, bone deep exhaustion plaguing him.

After another moments pause, Thorn continues. “I hope the shabuire that did this trips and breaks his neck.”

Despite the ache in his ribs, Fox can't help but laugh. “Couldn't agree more.”

[spotsupstuff]

can i have a summary of your AU? it seems like something different and ORIGINAL for once, focusing on the benefactors and not demonizing them to hell and back like everybody else does

Philosophy Sessions gets its name from an idea for a comic of Moon (while Survivor is still visiting) addressing her relationship with the Anemons (the "Ancients"' species name here) and her own faults like tolerating harm for too long. By herself, she comes to the conclusion that though the relationship/s she had with them were once good, they eventually became rotten and bad for her. She has a session philosophising about it all.

The AU's happenings keep the theme.

The main things happen in a different Iterator group (The Children of Eo/group Epsilon) from the one in-game (Wish for Tomorrow/group Tau, though sometimes it'll be nice for them to pop up and I'm not against making something for them from time to time either), during the time the Anemons still lived. Through characters, I aim to explore the spiritual/religious, philosophical, psychological and sociological aspects of their world.

It's meant to be more of a think-piece than a story, tool for exploration the complexities of anger, sex, attachment, relationship with being alive at all and coping with being terribly hurt.

Currently I mainly work on the worldbuilding through info posts so I have a solid ground to put these softer things on, along with some goofing off with the characters since knowing them is vital for these themes.

If served in a story format, I divide it into four "books": • The Polar War • Biography of a Sparrow • The Ending Chime • Transfiguration

The Polar War is about a war confict between group Epsilon and a group north from them, Rho/Frost's Promise.

It revolves around a "society" vs "society", the reason for the conflict is unclear, the main questions are ,,Why and how can a society preaching these spiritual values get into a war? How far are they willing to go?" with secondary questions of ,,How would the Iterators do in a large violent situation? How would a war conflict work for this world where death is... not really a thing?"

Biography of a Sparrow is about a low karma Anemon in the golden age, from the low castes, Three Sparrows on a Wire. This is the oldest part conceptualized, most developed, with Sparrows being my first Anemon character.

She lands herself a spot in a school for Iterator mechanics, an incredibly demanding job that ends up misplacing her into the high caste. She's also very bad at the spiritual things, the job puts a strain on her relationships with family and her priorities, her Iterator charge falls in love with her complicating things tremendously and her past lives are rather dark, loud in her dreams.

The goal is exploration of the Anemons' social structures and the spiritual concepts as she eventually begins confronting her faults and learning better.

The Ending Chime has a 16 year old high karma Anemon boy, real name secret for now and nicknamed Preacher, for protagonist.

The story takes place during the last months of the Anemons' existence. Preacher is faithful to the spirituality, but despises the religion that has gone corrupt. He was sold to the religious command of the community as a toddler in exchange for his parents being pardoned for having sex with a resulting accidental child. The caretakers, with an actual preacher as a sort of leader, have mistreated him and other given up children. The broken tooth and lip scar he has are from a bad slap from the preacher for questioning the religion when he was 10. That kind of stuff.

During one night of doubt and resentment on the kid's part, Théta, the highest yet forgotten god, contacts him and supports his decision to run away to join a rebelion against all of this. During his journeys we get to know how the society has changed since Sparrows, we get to see spiritual creatures, old corrupt gods and echoes of the past, while also getting to meet more Iterators and getting some lessons from them.

We all already know that Preacher won't get to win, though.

Transfiguration is about Théta stepping down into physical existence as the Saint to free the Iterators from their suffering, specifically about those in group Epsilon. Here, he is joined by the Iterator Biting Notos who lives more as an overseer at this point than the whole bio-computer thing.

They travel together, discussing the ages past, Notos' regrets and conflictions about helping the Saint do its quest and listening to the dying Iterators' last thoughts, last philosophy sessions.