#or maybe this is the letter he puts in Ed's lunch that Ed takes along with him to the beach and it's sealed with a kiss shaped wax seal

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

Oh my darling, Your laughter feels like home.

I feel it reverberate deep inside my chest where my insecurities used to lie.

How many years have I spent drowning? Siphoning water fruitlessly through my gils, only to learn that when I breathe you in, it is lungs that blaze with life.

Your words... the cadence of your voice, the earnestness of your passion...I feel it, like the blood in my veins, rushing to keep my heart from ceasing to beat. I feel every enunciation like a stamp, temporarily branding me with your thoughts, your fears, your loves...

It's so easy to fall into step with you... back and forth we go, bouncing one thing after the next off of each other-- two poets weaving threads of wonder into an elaborate tapestry of words.

"I long for you," every moment we're apart is an uncomfortably lacking statement. The sentiment is apt, but lacks the intensity at which I pine for every instant we share.

The numbness of being not quite right has left me cold for so long, and yet you ignite in me an inferno of acceptance and affirmation that has transformed me. I am no longer the cracked shell I once was-- nay, I am a shining entity of love and awe that blossoms in the wake of your brilliance. The pattern of your heartbeat, the warmth of your skin, the thirst quenching taste of your breathe mingling with mine...I am not myself without you Edward. I pray that you do not linger for longer than necessary-- for your absence has left me bereft.

[eddievanhammettmunson]

Wanted

Eddie Munson x GNreader

Authors note- hola my ghouls, gremlins and fellow goblins. This is just a short one shot for my homies that want to feel wanted.

Warnings- rough home life, angst, fluff, use of pet names like sweetheart but no gender or mentions of y/n

Summary- after getting a letter from your mother, you take a look back on your life and the people that make you feel wanted. 1.4k

Eddie was worried to say the least. You were his best friend and he hadn’t heard from you in days. At first he thought you were just sick but now he knows you’re definitely avoiding him. He drove by your house twice in the last 3 days and every time he stopped by he could tell you were home but not answering the door.

Not only were you not showing up to school but now you were avoiding him. He doesn’t know what he did to upset you but he was determined to figure it out.

He sat on the edge of his bed, guitar in hand as he strummed away and thought about what he could have done to upset you but he couldn’t think of anything. The last time he’d seen you the two of you went to the movies together. All he can think of was that he tried to hold your hand half way through the movie but chickened out at the last minute. Maybe that’s why you were mad at him. Maybe you noticed and didn’t feel that way about him. Maybe you noticed and wanted him to hold your hand. Maybe you- and Eddie is snapped out of his thoughts by a knock at the trailer door. He jumps up to answer it, figuring Wayne must have forgotten his lunch or something.

The last thing Eddie is expecting to see is you on his doorstep looking distressed and upset. But that’s what he finds.

“Sweetheart? What are you doing here? Are you okay? Here come on in you must be freezing.”

Eddie steps to the side and lets you in the trailer. Wordlessly you step inside and make your way to the couch in the living room where you plop down and begin to fiddle with your fingers from nervousness. Eddie can’t help but notice that and the way you chew your lip. He knows something is eating at you.

Eddie steps forward towards the couch but doesn’t sit down. Instead he kneels in front of you and grabs your hands to stop you from fiddling with your fingers. Trying to get you to relax.

“Sweetheart? What’s going on?”

In the softest voice Eddie’s ever heard you make you finally respond.

“Wanted to see you Ed’s.”

He strokes the backs of your hands with his thumb and he can visibly see you relax in your skin. The way you slump against the couch and you finally give your bottom lip a break from the chewing.

“I came by your house sweets. Thought you were avoiding me.”

Your eyes shoot up to meet his.

“Well I was. But not because of anything you did. I needed to be on my own.”

You rush the words out hoping it will bring Eddie some relief but it doesn’t.

“Sweetheart, why were you avoiding me? What’s wrong?”

You take a deep breath and pull out an envelope from your pocket.

“I got a letter….from my mother.”

Eddie, being your best friend, knew the past you had with your family and especially what happened with your mother. He knew how hard it was for you growing up and all the things she put you through. Eddie can’t believe she would have the nerve to reach out to you. Knowing that your family is the reason he hasn’t seen you in days gets his blood boiling. But he keeps his cool because he knows what you need.

You hand him the letter and let him read it.

“Hey kiddo

I know you probably don’t want to hear from me. And I know I have no right to ask anything of you or request your forgiveness but I wanted to let you know I’ve been sober for a few years now and I’ve met a man with 3 beautiful children that I watch after. I know I can’t fix things with you but I just wanted you to know that I do love you and I’m sorry I wasn’t better for you. But I’m trying to be better now. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I hope you’re able to move on to better things in life.

Xoxo mom”

Along with the letter were pictures of her and her new family. As Eddie read the letter he could feel your hand shaking. When he looked up from the letter he found you sitting there with your eyes closed painfully tight. Trying but failing to prevent the tears from falling.

You begin to sob.

“I just don’t understand Eddie.”

“Understand what sweetheart.”

“Why wasn't I enough? Why didn't she want me? Why can she be better for this new family but could never do that for me. Why am I never enough.”

Eddie sets the letter down on the table and leans forward and grabs you in a hug that you accept with desperation.

Eddie begins to ramble. “Shit sweetheart you’re enough. You’re so much more than enough and I want you so much please please please don’t think you’re not enough please.”

As you two continue to hug you whisper in Eddie’s ear. “Thank you.”

Eddie pulls back slightly and brushes some of the hair out of your face.

“For what?”

“For wanting me when nobody else did.”

Those words broke his heart. How could you think nobody wanted you? You were everything to him. When he looked at you he saw the entire universe mapped out in front of him and he couldn’t imagine his life without you. It killed him to know that you thought nobody would want you and it killed him that your own family made you feel that way.

“Sweetheart, listen to me. I’ll always want you. I always have. You’re my everything. And whenever you need reminding of that just come to me. Or Steve. Or Nancy. Or Robin. Or Jonathan. Or any of the kids. Cause we all want you. We love you and we never want you to feel unwanted.”

“That’s sweet Eddie. Thank you. But that’s not what I meant. I meant you wanted me. Sure I love Steve and Nancy and Robin and Jonathan and the kids but you’re my family Eddie. I can come to you for anything and I know you’ll be here when I need you. You look at me and suddenly I don’t feel so alone. I know I’ve got at least one person I can really truly depend on.” You grab his hand and bring it to your chest. Holding his hand over your heart where he can feel it beating heavily.

“And Eddie I want you to know you’re wanted to. In the exact same way I know you want me. You’re everything to me, Eddie Munson.”

It was then that Eddie realised this was more than just a family pep talk. It was a confession. A confession of how deeply you two love each other even if you aren’t ready to say the L word quite yet. This was more meaningful. Letting each other know they’re wanted.

Eddie removes his hands from yours and brings them up to your face where he cups your cheeks gently and leans in. Just enough to where his lips brush gently over yours. He looks into your eyes for that final confirmation. You nod.

He leans in the rest of the way and your lips finally meet. All the both of you feel is relief. The kiss is like letting out all the pent up stress you’ve had for days. You two quickly become intertwined on the couch. Lost in the universe you two have created. When you finally pull away you’re both smiling ear to ear.

“Come on sweetheart let’s watch a movie together and then we can have a sleepover.”

“Only if I get to pick the first movie. But I promise you can pick all the snacks.”

“You really do complete me sweetheart.”

Eddie wraps his arms around you while you watch the movies and the two of you drift off to sleep on the couch. Knowing you’re wanted.

[crystalcow]

𝑆𝑎𝑝𝑛𝑎𝑝𝑠 𝐶ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑑//𝑆𝑎𝑝𝑛𝑎𝑝 𝑝𝑡 4

Masterlist // child reader ML //

Sapnap x reader !p !child reader

Pronouns used: none specified!

Warnings: swearing, mentions of death, casinos

➳➳➳➳➳┄┄※┄┄➳➳➳➳➳

𝐊𝐢𝐧𝗼𝐤𝗼 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐧𝗼𝐰??

Quackity was telling you all of his plans

He rambled on for hours of his ideas for casinos and how he was going to marry Karl and sapnap

It sounded great

He had his whole plan set up! He even had Sam helping him with the building

But then he left

Just like everyone else

But that was fine! You were just with sapnap

Before Karl came running over rambling on about needed to move his library

He had a library?

“[Redacted] you need to stay close, please”

You looked at him weirdly

Who the fuck was [redacted]

“Karl my names Y/n you idiot” “flame..” “sorry”

He didn’t even notice it and then you had to spend the next couple days hauling over 100 books

“Oo hey what are these! The covers look really weird”

You had found his time travel books

Woops

That man raced over and in the kindest way possible, snatched it from your hands

“Don’t touch those, they are my special books”

You just shrugged and let him be, he freaks you out enough

So you all traveled to this area in the spruce forest and built a really ugly mushroom hut

But hey it’s fine! Foolish thankfully came around later that day and made everything better

So you stuck around

Maybe you needed this, this new start

Oh but prime knows that wouldnt last long

Karl started forgetting

At first it was simple things as just forgetting where he was or little stumbles with names

But eventually he was going away longer and longer

He started calling you by these strange names, some that sound Victorian and western and others that are unlike you

One day he didn’t call you by your name at all

You were hanging around the Sakura trees and the big yin Yang pond waiting for sapnap to come back with George

Then you saw Karl exit the library, running up to him for a hug

It’s been two months since you’ve seen him

You fucking hated it but you couldn’t help but consider him another parental figure

He loved it

But he just stood there as you wrapped your arms around him

Expecting the usual “[reda]- Y/n, I’ve missed you so much my sweet flame!”

But there was nothing just a sad one sided hug

“Hello? I’m sorry but do I know you?”

You were ready to cry

“I’m sorry, I uh must’ve mistaken you for the wrong person” “No that’s fine! Hugs are nice?”

So you left and ran into the library

Scouring throughout all of the books until you found them

The same 8 books you shrugged away

You read through all of them along with Karl’s other journals

You didn’t like going through his stuff especially, a whole invasion of privacy

The more you read the worse it got

What were you gonna tell Sapnap?

Who the hell is James, and [redacted]?

And why couldn’t he stop

It’s no use anymore

You were simply just forgotten

𝐋𝗼𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐬

The closer you got to the large building, the sicker you got

Kinoko Kingdom was supposed to be your free pass

But somehow you always end up here

You called for Sam on the comms waiting for the beep

The inside looked great to say the least

“What are your past relationships with the prisoner?” “No answer.”

“Where are you currently resided?” “No answer”

“Do you believe the prisoner deserves his sentence?” “Maybe”

You put all your shit in the locker and followed him through all the safety checks

“I’m glad you didn’t bring anything with you”

You stood on the platform heart racing as the lava went down

It was like a ticking time bomb

The small squeaks and scratches of the hovering bridge

He just stared at you

That sick stupid mask was broken by tommy that day in the black stone room

So you had to look into his face

Lets just say he looks good in Orange

“Barrier up or down?” “Down”

He backed up into the corner as you stepped in

Smiling

Once the lava cascaded down your smile turned into a sick frown

“Hello” is that all he had to fucking say?

“Screw you. Fuck you. Damn you”

He just looked you a small chuckle escaping from his lips

“Those all mean the same thing.” “Well I’ve been living in cinnamon town for the past couple months, and I’m ready to fucking burn some buns”

Yeah he just laughed

“I’ve missed you Hot shot”

“You ruined our damn life!”

Someone went quiet

“If you didn’t have to have a petty little war, or criminalize children we could’ve been fine! It could’ve just been you, dad, me, and George.”

You were pissed, everyone just kept leaving you.

Tommy and Tubbo, Quackity, Karl, Dream, and hell even Wilbur

“You come and visit me, after not having seen me for months and you just yell? Not a hello or ‘how are you dream?’ ‘How’s prison dream’ ‘how can I help you get out of this damn place’ “

You just sat down ready to just walk out into the lava

“I’ve been stuck here for months! None of you even cared enough to visit me, hell even Tommy came around.”

You might have felt a little bad after leaving him

The prison was cold even tho lava was flowing right there

“Why would you leave the discs alone..” “Because I had to end it.”

What were you doing here

What were you planning on saying?

“So, what do you do in prison”

“I have a clock.”

You got up to go look at the pretty clock

Then threw it at his face

“Ow” “deal with it bitch”

The longer you stayed the worse the feeling in your stomach got

so you buzzed for Sam waving goodbye

“Wait.. Do they miss me?” “Can’t say, but I think this may be for the best.”

He wanted his best friends

But he just got the annoying teenager

Oh but that wouldn’t be the last

𝐋𝐚𝐬 𝐍𝐚𝐯𝐚𝐝𝐚𝐬

You got a letter in the mail one day

Who the hell uses letters??

You were shocked to see the address and the small post card

“Come around some time”-Quackity

Ans on the back it had the cords

Oh well what did you have to loose? Sapnap was focused on Karl

and well Karl didn’t even know you

So you set off

It took you a couple hours travel by horse to get to the desert area

The large sign blaring in the red text

You gotta admit the place looked beautiful

There was a giant dick and different shops

You were shocked to see this random un human like guy

“Hello, I am Charlie a totally human guy!”

Yeah totally not slime

“I’m uh, Y/n?” He reached out for a handshake sort of thing

“Dap me up!” “Another time Charlie”

Maybe when you had hand sanitizer

“Ohh so your Y/n! Mister Quackity talks about you all the time, come on in!”

You were skeptical but followed anyways

Stopping in your tracks when you saw Fundy

“Furry?” “Fire shit?”

You went over to give him a side hug, ruffling his fur

“What the hell are you doing here ginger boy!” “Oh you know, just escaping nightmares”

You were confused then just let him be

You walked to the entry way of the place

A beautiful pond with flowers and an arch

“Did what the place where Mr. Quackity was going to propose!”

Going to?

You shrugged it off following inside

You hated to admit it, but you were excited to see him

Yeah you really needed a parental figure in your life at the moment

So when you saw him, he immediately pick you up in a hug

You didn’t fail to notice his change in appearance

That beanie stayed the same tho

Thank god

“Hey hey! Let me show you around the place, we can also go for lunch and talk.”

The casino looked great to say the least

Loud music booming from the speakers, along with the live jazz band on the side

Slot machines were going off every minute

“Have a chip, something to remember this by”

He handed you a red poker chip

It was a cool one tho, in the middle has a blocky sort of smile

Creepy and dopey.. sick!

So you put it around a spare silver chain

“So how have you been kid? ‘Ts been a while hasn’t it.” “Could be better..”

You both walked around the city in silence, offering to go in the super model shop

“No” “why not” “keep walking”

On your way to lunch you had to squint at what you were seeing

“Oh my goodness you’re still alive?!” “You’re alive!?”

You and revivebur just stared at one another

“Yeah he came back after I died!” “you what now-“

You just stared at Tommy and back to Wilbur

Oh god those shrooms were messing with your head

You should’ve gotten out of there a while ago

Quackity came over placing his hands on your shoulders

“Do I have to execute you both? Get off my damn property”

“Sorry Q. Say, Y/n wanna join Lmanburg 2.0?”

You back away holding your hands up

“I denied that offer once, and I’ll do it again. Fucking zombie freaks”

You obviously muttered the last part

Why the fuck did dream revive those two shits??

When did Tommy even die??

Your visit here has just gotten weirder and weirder

𝐌𝗼𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬

Quackity got you away from the brits as quick as he could

So he brought you over to his office

“So kid, how’s your dad..”

Ah you expected this question

“How the fuck am I supposed to know. He’s living his life, Karl’s time traveling! Oh yeah did I mention he doesn’t even remember me.”

He looked at you with wide eyes

“So I’m not the only one they forgot..”

You slammed you hands on the fable dramatizing the situation

“How would you feel about moving here? I mean you could work for me in the casino!”

You thought about it for a second

You have two options

1. Live in shroom town with bubbles

2. Move to las Nevada’s with Quackity

You were sure Sapnap wouldn’t mind

I mean would he even care?

He hasn’t for the past couple months!

“You feel abandoned there, over here there are hundreds of people. You’ll have the time of your life”

You thought about it for a sec

“Alright hand me a contract”

So you signed

Making deals with the devil huh

Little did you know it would cost you your life

Devils little soul

➳➳➳➳➳┄┄※┄┄➳➳➳➳➳

and this is the finale! I will take requests for sapnaps child, and I’ll do some shit with Quackity and the casino and go in more depth if wanted!

As always request and ask anything! And ask if you want to be on a taglist (child reader or general)

For those on the taglist I don’t know if you wanted to be tagged for all child reader shit or just dreams child.. so please tell me :)

@creatorofstars @georgenctfound @samistheidiot @smolbox-png @ghostlysenses @stellarinstigator @bobaducky

[isolemnlyswearpevensie]

Lightning in a Bottle | Edmund Pevensie x Reader

Warnings: None :)

Time/Era: Modern AU

Word Count: 2.6k

Summary: Music is Edmund’s love language, apparently. 

Request: Hey! Could you possibly do a cute high school au with Edmund? Maybe they’re both crushing on each other and everyone knows except themselves, anything you wanna do really haha 😂 thanksss :)

A/N: Thanks for the request!!  God, I love Edmund so much. And here, we have indie boi Ed. This oneshot is inspired by  Electric Love by Børns. (Specifically, the video linked) This is one of my favorite songs, and I thought it fit the indie-main-character-high-school vibe :) I didn’t really nail the “everyone knows but them” thing, but still crushes! Enjoy ~

masterlist | here is a playlist of the songs in the mixtape mentioned | read on ao3

Edmund Pevensie was obsessed with listening to music, particularly with old musical technology. While it wasn’t uncommon to have a fascination with cassette tapes or vinyl records, it hit a special chord within Edmund’s heart. Something about listening to music, old and new, on the outdated tech made the music sound better, hit harder, and stick in his mind better. He was the type of guy who took the AUX on long car rides to play one of his thousand Spotify playlists. 

Another notable thing about Edmund was that he was very intelligent with very high standards for himself. He was a natural at academics, having been in advanced classes since he was young, and he was the guy everyone hated in math class. After dozing off in class, and mouthing off to the teacher every now and again, he still came out as the teacher’s favorite and a straight-A student. 

The majority of the time, though, he tended to keep to himself. While he was genuinely liked by his peers and was rather charming, he didn’t really consider anyone his friend. Unlike his older brother, Peter, he liked to remain closer to the shadows with earbuds in his ears. He knew he could never fill his brother’s shoes; Peter had basically come into Cair Paravel High School to be captain of the soccer team. He was so good that even though his grades were subpar at best, he received a full-ride scholarship to Archenland University to study sports medicine and play on their soccer team. 

Then there was his older sister, Susan, who won her Student Body President campaign by a landslide. Everyone liked Susan; she was patient, gentle, and got along with pretty much everyone. She too got a pretty large scholarship to Beruna State College and is double majoring in child education and European history. 

Finally, there was Edmund’s little sister, Lucy. She was only a freshman at Cair Paravel, and very into student council. Edmund thought she was practically made to be an ASB kid; she was excited, friendly, and much too kind. Lucy made the switch to high school seamlessly and had a big group of friends by the time the final bell rang on the first day. 

Edmund was a senior now and he couldn’t wait to get out of high school. The people were unintelligent, he was constantly compared to his siblings and he was ready to start his life. Edmund had high ambitions to become a lawyer, specifically criminal law. He didn’t really have much to leave behind at this school, so he was just trying to get through it as soon as possible.

One thing he would miss was the quiet girl that sat behind him in his music appreciation class. Edmund didn’t really want to take the class, but at the last minute, he discovered he needed to fulfill an arts credit to graduate. He appreciated music and liked easy classes, so he chose this one. Little did he know it was mostly analyzing classical pieces. 

Y/N was super cute in Edmund’s eyes. She always mumbled sarcastic comments whenever their easily excitable teacher, Mr. Tumnus, would stretch when over-analyzing a stanza of music. By the time October passed, Edmund had grown quite fond of the girl. She almost always was reading a comic book of some sort instead of paying attention in class. Y/N even ended up lending Edmund a few for his viewing pleasures; he always made sure to return them in the exact condition he received them. Batman seemed to Y/N’s favorite. 

Y/N loved watching Edmund write. He held his pencil wrong and always had ink smudged all over his hand. Maybe it was because he was a leftie, or maybe it was because he wrote too fast. Probably a little bit of both. His handwriting was also weirdly slanted to the right, which didn’t make any sense to Y/N. He was left-handed but his letters slanted to the right? Not the mention how half of it was in cursive and half of it was in print. It was definitely messy but, oddly enough, still intelligible. 

“What are you listening to?” Y/N asked Edmund. “Better not be Christmas music. Christmas was last month.”

Edmund pulled an earbud out of his left ear and turned so he was sitting horizontally in his chair. He leaned an arm on the top of her desk and grinned. “Currently, I’m listening to Can I Call You Tonight? By Dayglow. What are you reading?” 

“Currently, I’m reading Volume 1 of The New Teen Titans,” Y/N copied Edmund. “I’ve never heard of Dayglow, are they good?” 

Edmund smiled, offering her his earbuds. “Listen and see for yourself.” 

As she listened Edmund searched her face for any clue to what she’s thinking. Her face housed a small smile so he concluded that she enjoyed it. Once the song ended, she took out one of his earbuds and placed it on her desk. 

“I like it,” She concluded, listening to the next song. 

“Good, so do I. It fits my mood for today.”

“What’s got you so happy today? You have a great way of showing happiness, by the way.” Edmund was dressed in all black with his hood up. Edmund rolled his eyes. 

“What I can’t be in a good mood?” 

“I never said that, Pevensie. You just look very Edmund-y today.” Y/N pulled the other earbud out of her head and held them out to him.

“No, keep listening. I’ll play some music for you throughout class and maybe you can tell me what you think at the end?” He pulled his hood off of his head and smoothed out his hair. “And what do you mean Edmund-y?”

“I don’t know, all black, hood up, dead look in your eyes.” 

“I don’t have a dead look in my eyes!” Y/N giggled at her own joke. “Just for that, I’m going to take this.” He snatched the open comic book that laid open on her desk. 

For the remainder of the class, Edmund dictated what Y/N listened to from his phone. He played everything from The Beatles, to The 1975, to COIN, to Duran Duran. Every now and then, Edmund would peek his head back to see her eyes glued to the back of his head. Her body swayed to the music almost lazily, and a smile graced her features. For some reason that made his stomach feel fuzzy. 

She returned his earbuds at the end of class, and he returned her comic. 

“That was fun,” Y/N complimented, shoving her materials into her bag. “I like the get better song you played.”

“I Wanna Get Better by Bleachers,” Edmund corrected her as they left the classroom. Music Appreciation was the class of the day for them, seeing as they were seniors who left at lunch, so the two started making their way towards the parking lot. 

“You have to meet your sister right?” Y/N asks, pulling out her I.D. so she could leave campus. “The really sweet freshman girl? Honestly, you two are so different I wouldn’t have guessed you were siblings.” 

“Oh, Lucy, yeah. We grab lunch every Thursday before I drop her back off for the remainder of her classes.” The two showed their I.D.’s to the campus aid and walked into the parking lot. 

“That’s sweet. We should grab lunch sometime, or something. It could be fun! We could do our analysis questions about Bach.” Y/N started to walk in the opposite direction and Edmund felt his cheeks warm. Luckily, Y/N’s back was now towards him. 

“Yeah, sure. Don Giovanni, right?” 

Y/N’s laughter could be heard as she grew further away. “That’s Motzart, Pevensie!”

Edmund shook his head and met Lucy. She was leaning against his car looking bored. 

“Who was that? Is that your girlfriend?” Lucy asks, opening the door once Edmund unlocks the car. This made his cheeks flush more. 

“No, she’s just the girl that sits behind me in Tumnus,” Edmund puts the key in the ignition and starts the engine. 

“Then why are you blushing?”

“I’m not, Lucy. It’s just hot in the car, it’s been sitting out here for ages.”

~

 One day in the middle of March when Y/N walked into Music Appreciation, she noticed a small rectangle box on her desk. Upon opening it, she found a cassette and a note. The note looked as if it was typed using a typewriter. 

Y/N,

I’m not very good when it comes to words, but I’m good when it comes to music. Hopefully, this says it all. Enjoy, my love. 

Side A //

Electric Love / Børns

I Love You So / The Walters

Fallingforyou / The 1975

Your Song /  Elton John

Someone To You / BANNERS

Side B //

Babe, Can I Call? / The Hunna

Tonight (I Wish I Was Your Boy) / The 1975

Luv, Hold Me Down / Drowners

love somebody like you / joan

TV Dream / Larkins

Y/N didn’t recognize most of the songs, but just reading the titles made her blush. 

“Mr. Tumnus? Did you happen to see who left this on my desk?” She held up the cassette so he could see. He shook his head. 

“No, sorry.”

Other students started to trickle in and soon the bell rang, no trace of Edmund. It wasn’t uncommon for him to skip this class, it was basically pointless, but it made Y/N sad every time he wasn’t there. 

The door swings open and a drenched Edmund steps into the classroom. Without even looking up, Mr. Tumnus addresses him. 

“You’re late again, Mr. Pevensie.”

“Sorry, I got stuck behind a group of Sophmore girls who wouldn’t move.”

“In the rain?” Mr. Tumnus raised an eyebrow.

“No, if it was in the rain I would be wet right now, sir.”

He plopped into his seat and started raking his hands through his wet hair. His cheeks were slightly rosey, as were his nose. His lips were pinker than usual and they stayed slightly parted. Hair stuck to his forehead as he ran his fingers ran through it and the hair on the nape of his neck dripped down his back. Y/N had to stop herself from staring at him with her jaw unhinged. 

“What’s that?” He whispered, noticing the open present on Y/N’s desk. He had taken up sitting horizontal in his chair at all times so he could more easily talk to Y/N. 

“It’s a mixtape. It was left on my desk when I got here,” Y/N responded and handed him the note. Edmund took it and began to read; his eyes scanned the paper and his lips moved slightly as he read. Y/N couldn’t help her this time, so she allowed herself to stare. His lips were always so pink and so puffy. She fantasized about how soft they must be. 

“Wow, looks like someone really likes you,” He comments, placing the paper back on her desk. “Do you have a cassette player?”

Y/N didn’t even consider that. Who the hell has a cassette player in the year 2020? Apparently, her answer was evident on her face, and Edmund chuckles. He reaches into his bag and pulls out a walkman and a pair of earbuds. 

“Here, you can have mine. I got a new one last month and I don’t really use this one as much.”

Oh, Edmund has a cassette player in the year 2020. 

Y/N smiled, taking the player from his hand. “Thanks, Ed.”

“Wouldn’t want you to miss out on those songs. Whoever made that has good taste, you’re lucky.” 

~

When Y/N got home tonight, she took out her walkman. It sat easily in her palm, just big enough for the cassette to fit inside. On the bottom, “E.P.” was scratched into the plastic. She smiled and put her mixtape inside. 

As she listened, she couldn’t help but let her mind wander to Edmund. They had grown much closer in the past few months, even going lengths to hang out outside of school. Y/N learned that not only was Edmund extremely intelligent, but he was the funniest person Y/N had ever met. He always had a sarcastic comeback or joke to offer her, no matter the subject. He had also let many of his walls down, letting Y/N get to know him better. It all felt so comfortable and natural. No longer was he just the cute guy from Music Appreciation, but he was the pain in the ass that Y/N had fallen for. And Y/N had fallen hard. 

Against her first impression of the mixtape, Y/N had actually heard all of these songs. After the first day in January, Edmund had lent her his earbuds near-daily and she would listen to whatever he played for her. Her eyes widened. 

Why would Edmund carry around a cassette player he didn’t use? And to school for that matter? And the note; it was typed because Edmund had such distinct handwriting! Y/N rewound the cassette and listened to it again. Why didn’t she realize in the moment?

~

“Hello, Y/N,” Edmund greeted in the parking lot the morning, he happened to park next to Y/N. He gripped the coffee in his hand and got his backpack in the trunk. “How are you on this fine morning?”

“Tired, I stayed up, like, half the night listening to that cassette I got yesterday.” Y/N slung her own backpack over her shoulder. He closed his trunk and locked his car. 

“Yeah? And what did you think?” The two started walking towards the building. 

“I thought that the songs all sounded oddly familiar.”

Edmund took a long sip of his coffee. “Like you’ve heard them before?” 

“Mmhm,” Y/N hummed and walked onto campus. She held one of the straps of her backpack as she walked. “Almost as if this dumbass guy I know played them for me a while back,” Y/N’s voice was teasing and light. 

“Yeah? Who is this guy?” Y/N stopped walking and looked up at Edmund. 

“Thanks for the mixtape, Ed.” 

“Whaaaat...just because this guy has great taste in love songs doesn’t mean it was me. I’m flattered though, really,” Edmund took another long sip of his coffee. 

“Oh, what a pity. I actually got excited when I figured out it was you. Considering normal people don’t just carry cassette players in their backpacks. Especially not ones they don’t use anymore.” Y/N’s voice was thick with sarcasm. 

“Excited?”

“Yeah. I’ve kinda liked that Edmund guy for a while, but he doesn’t like me back so…”  

“You like me back?” Edmund was grinning from ear to ear. 

“Yes, babe, I like you back. I have since October since I started letting you borrow my comics,”

Edmund placed his coffee on a bench and pulled Y/N closer to him by the hips. 

“October, huh?” Y/N smiled bashfully at Edmund’s tone but nodded. 

“What? You’re cute, I couldn’t help myself. Plus, now you make me cute mixtapes.”

Edmund leans down and places his lips against hers. They were just as soft as she had imagined. Y/N wrapped her arms around his neck, her fingers quickly finding the hairs at the nape of his neck. He pulls away and leans his forehead against hers. 

“Be my girlfriend, then?”

“You nerd,” Y/N took a small step forwards and pecked his lips again. “I would love to.”

[firstdegreefangirl]

Eddie Week Day Five: Eddie and His Idiot Husband

Word Count: 2291

Original Pub Date: 19 June 2020

Relationships: Eddie Diaz & Christopher Diaz, Eddie Diaz & Abuela

Author's Note: Me? Writing Christmas fic in June? More likely than you think.

Read on ao3 here

Usual suspects: @eddiediazweek @hearteyesforbuck @rebeccaofsbfarm @thisissirius @hearteyesforbuck @dramamineontopofme @twinien @meloingly @myemergence

It started out simply enough: Eddie was picking Buck up from the car dealership, taking him to lunch with Christopher while he waited on an oil change. As soon as Buck swung himself up into the truck seat, Chris started giggling.

“What? What’s so funny, little dude?” Buck turns around in the seat to watch him laughing, and Eddie looked up in the rearview mirror to see his son practically doubled over against his seatbelt.

“You-you guys are … you guys are TWINS!” He can hardly get the words out, but as soon as Eddie realizes what he’s said, he glances across the console at Buck

Sure enough, they’re both wearing blue jeans and the same T-shirt: plain black with the LAFD logo on the chest.

It’s an easy coincidence, especially given how many shirts they both have that are identical, city-issued for special events or fundraisers. They’re not technically uniform, but everyone wears them to work, so it only takes a few months to accumulate a pretty big collection.  

Eddie can see the moment when Buck realizes what’s happened, and he feels his heart swell at the way his face lights up.

“Well,” Buck exaggerates the way he winks at Eddie, makes sure Christopher can see the gesture, and looks to the backseat again. “One of us is going to have to change.”  

It happens again three weeks later, just a couple of days after they take Christopher to the aquarium.

(Eddie had tried to call it a “family day,” but he saw the way Buck squirmed at the notion of being part of a family, of having a family so unlike the one where he grew up, one that does things together, has special days and events for no particular reason.  

So he’d dropped it, but knows it’s something that will come up again later, something for them to work on as a family, even if they don’t call it that just yet.)

Because they are a family, and if it weren’t obvious enough, when the got through to the giftshop, Christopher had insisted on a set of three identical Stingray Bay T-shirts to commemorate the occasion. And neither of them have ever been able to tell him no, not for something as simple as that, so Buck had dropped a small fortune on them, insisted on paying after Eddie had bought the ice cream earlier in the day.  

Eddie knows he should have seen this coming, should have anticipated that Buck would show up wearing his stingray shirt on Tuesday when they met at the school to surprise Chris with lunch.  

Buck does this; every single time Christopher gives him something, he makes a point of showing it off, using it when he knows he’ll be able to see how much Buck loved the gift.

So Eddie should have known he’d pick today to debut the new shirt, should have planned ahead and picked something else, literally anything else, from his closet.  

Not that he doesn’t love the idea of matching clothes with Buck, but that he’d at least like to be a little bit more subtle about it than a pair of blue and grey tie-dye swirled T-shirts with bright yellow lettering and a cartoon stingray. He couldn’t possibly be happier than he is when he’s with Buck; the last year and a half have been the best of his life.  

But he’d rather show it off with the way they can't stop smiling when they’re together, the way they’re constantly touching, always seeking each other out. It’s a quieter, more honest demonstration of their relationship.  

But there’s not much he can do about it when he meets Buck out front of the building and they’re both wearing the shirts. It’s not like he has a closet in his truck with extra clothes, so all he can do is grin and bear it.  

It’s worth it though, for the way Buck pulls his sunglasses down and whistles as Eddie approaches.

“Nice shirt, babe. Where’d you get it?”  

“Just this place I know.” Eddie can’t help but roll his eyes. “My kid picked it out, and the hottest guy I’ve ever seen bought it for me.”  

“Oh, a hot guy? Should I be jealous?” Buck laughs and pulls the door open, settling his hand low on Eddie’s back as he kisses him gently and walks into the building.

“Only because I’m the one holding the French fries, and you know how Chris picks his favorite dad for the day.”

A month later, Eddie starts a massive load of laundry before he gets dressed for work, having put it off for long enough that he knows it’ll probably need two cycles in the dryer. Only after the machine had started filling with water did he realize that he hadn’t remembered to set aside the least-dirty shirt in the pile so he had something to wear into the station.  

Which leaves him scrambling to find a shirt, any shirt he can wear until he gets to work and puts his uniform on. There’s one left, stuck way at the back of his drawer.  

It’s the very epitome of a Laundry Day shirt, covered in garish black and white stripes. In one of his finer moments as a father, Eddie had let Christopher rope him into dressing up as a zebra for the station Halloween party so he could be a zookeeper.  

(There had been no need to rope Buck in. In fact, the whole thing had been Buck’s idea, after he’d gone with Chris on the field trip to the zoo and sat next to him while they watched the zebra feeding.)

The costume had been great, he has to admit. But as soon as the party was over, the shirt went to the back of the drawer, waiting for yardwork season.  

Or, laundry day.

Reluctantly, he pulls the shirt over his head and hopes that he’s running late enough to make it into the locker room before anyone sees him.  

But why would that go in his favor when nothing else this morning has? Eddie has just made it into the station when he collides with a black and white striped blur.

“What? Ed—” Buck steadies them both and looks Eddie up and down, checking for any injuries. “I leave you alone for one night, and you hardly make it to work on—”

Eddie watches his face as Buck realizes which shirt he’s wearing, and he’s sure it must match his own expression when he sees the same garment pulled taut across Buck’s chest.  

“—time.” Buck finishes, amusement shining in his eyes.

“Well maybe I wouldn’t be running late if someone hadn’t insisted on ‘saying goodbye’ before he went home last night.” Eddie raises an eyebrow and Buck flushes at the memory of how … thorough … his parting kiss had been. “Could’ve had the laundry in the machine last night, maybe even had a regular shirt to wear today.”  

“I’ll have you know that I happen to think this is an excellent shirt on you.” Buck runs his hand up Eddie’s torso to wrap his fingers over his shoulders.  

“Mm, there’s no way it looks better than yours does.” Eddie mirrors the gesture with a smirk. “You know my excuse; why’d you pick it out?”

He’s not sure what he’s expecting Buck to say, knows it’s nothing to do with seeing Chris since he’s at a sleepover after school tonight. But Buck still manages to surprise him when he shrugs, and responds like he’s saying the most obvious thing in the world.

“Couldn’t decide if I wanted to wear a white shirt or a black shirt today. So, both.” With his free hand, he waves up and down his body.

Eddie’s got a response all ready to go, is ready to watch the look on Buck’s face when he asks why he didn’t just split the difference and wear grey, but before he can say anything, Hen rounds the corner and bursts out laughing.

“OK,” She gasps out when she’s finally able to control her chuckles again. “Are you two only going to wear clothes from Christopher from now on? Because I’m telling you both, that is a mistake. He’s a cute kid, but the fashion doesn’t translate well to grown men.”  

Neither of them respond, and she walks away after a few moments, calling out for Chimney, who “isn’t going to believe what these idiots managed today!” Once she’s gone, they look at each other and smile.

“Laundry day?”

“Only way I was going to have a shirt for tomorrow that doesn’t have the style sense of a nine-year-old.”  

After that, the spell seems to be broken, whatever wardrobe-wavelength he and Buck were on shifted far enough that they’re dressing independently again.  

Before Eddie knows it, there’s a chill in the air – as much as there ever is in LA – and he and Buck are taking Christopher back to the mall to see Santa again.  

This year, there’s nothing stopping him from leaning against Buck while they wait in line, no reason for Buck not to tuck three of his fingers into the back pocket of Eddie’s jeans.  

While they’re waiting for Chris to come back out of the little cardboard village house, something catches Eddie’s eye in the window of the nearby department store. He turns to face Buck, putting just enough distance between them for Buck’s hand to drop back to his own side.  

“Hey, I’ll be right back. Long as that kid’s list is, you’ll still be waiting, but if not, meet you guys right here?”

“Sure.” Buck smiles, clearly unconcerned as Eddie walks away. He doesn’t waste any time, quickly finds what he’s looking for and waits in a miraculously short pre-Christmas line to check out and join Buck back in the winter wonderland.  

He sits the paper gift bag by their feet, rebuffs Buck’s attempts to find out what’s inside.

“Would you be patient?” But he’s smiling as he nudges Buck away from him. “You’ll find out in … 18 days.”  

“Fine.” Buck rolls his eyes. “But I’m not telling you what your present is either.”  

Eddie picks up a few other things along the way, loves nothing more than spoiling Buck when he has the chance, but there’s no gift he’s more excited about than the one from the mall. It had been such a hit last year that the 118 decides to celebrate en masse again, so he slips the presents into a large box and slides it into the bed of his truck before making sure Christopher's ready to go.

They make it through dinner and two rounds of presents before Eddie can’t wait any longer. When it’s Buck’s turn to unwrap something again, Eddie passes him a slim, flat package.

“Open this one. You’ve waited patiently enough.”

He watches closely as Buck peels away the paper and shakes the box to reveal a silk necktie the exact same color as his eyes. He beams at Eddie, then gasps and stands up in a hurry.

“Bobby! Eddie needs to open the next gift!”  

“Why? He gets to go again in two turns.” Bobby, ever the father figure, has been keeping track, making sure everything is handled diplomatically. Buck steps carefully through the children spread out in the middle of the floor, making his way across the room to whisper something in Bobby’s ear. His eyes widen as he considers whatever case it is that Buck’s making, and he nods. “Alright, I think we can make an exception just this once. Go get your present, son.”  

He bounds across the room and fishes a tiny, firecracker-shaped package from underneath the tree then tosses it to Eddie.

“Your turn, honeybunches.” The over-the-top pet name elicits eye rolls from around the room – Eddie included – and Buck grins as he settles himself back in the seat beside him.  

Eddie turns the present over in his hand, tries to figure out what Buck might have come up with that would be shaped like this. Finally, he gives up on trying to guess and just pulls the ribbon loose at one end, folds the wrapping back to reveal –

An identical blue necktie.

Maddie puts it together first, claps a hand over her mouth to muffle her delighted squeal.

“You bought me … your necktie?” Eddie holds it up, trying to gauge if they really are the same shade of blue.

“No. Well, yes, I did. But that wasn’t … I didn’t know you’d bought one for me. You just always look at things this color when we’re at the mall, so I figured you must like it.”  

“It’s my favorite color,” Eddie replies, his voice thick with quiet wonder. “It matches your eyes.”

On Maddie’s other side, Chimney leans in to stage-whisper, loud enough for the whole group to hear. “Gee, wonder why it’s his favorite. Could it be? Do you think? Nah …"  

She swats his arm and he yelps, but stops talking.

“Your favorite color … is my eyes?”  

“Yeah, they’re ... blue.” There are a million other thoughts going through Eddie’s head, moving so fast that he can’t pin any one of them down enough to elaborate.  

He looks up from the tie, stares into Buck’s eyes and marvels at how a ribbon of fabric was able to match the color so perfectly. As Christmas gifts go, a necktie is pretty unremarkable, but Eddie knows right away that he’ll treasure this one forever.

As the party goes on around them, Eddie’s mind wanders to the little velvet box in his pocket.  

Maybe just once, he and Buck can plan to coordinate their outfits, right down to matching neckties.  

[chanel-blossom]

Chapter 2 (Act 1)

(TW Hints of a possible ED)

Do not stand at my grave and weep

I am not there. I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry;

I am not there. I did not die.

- Mary Elizabeth Frye

Chanel was woken up by her alarm clock going off. She stretched her hands, letting them fall beside her, on her cool pillows. After last night, she really didn’t want to go to school, but alas, she didn’t have much of a choice. Hoisting herself up, she got out of bed, into the chilly room. She was very tired, to wake herself up a bit more, she left her room to her balcony. Leaning on the rails, she smelt the fresh air of the night and smiled to herself. It was a lovely moment of tranquility, Chanel treasured these moments a lot in her life. She looked down and noticed all the bruising left on her skin, it was a very deep purple and green color and would take quite a bit of make up to cover it up.

Sighing, she made her way back inside and to her bathroom. Chanel looked like a disaster, she refused to remove her make up before she went to bed in that house, her lipstick was smeared and she had racoon eyes. Locking the door, she removed her makeup and reapplied it again. She looked into the large mirror and started pocking at herself, picking her featured apart, all her flaws, it was a part of her morning routine at that point. She knew it was unhealthy, and that she was very insecure and most likely needed help with that, but there was nothing stopping her, so she continued on anyways.

Because of last nights events, Chanel hadn’t put her hair into curlers before going to bed like she’d normally do, leaving very loose waves for her today. She started wondering what to do with her hair as she brushed through it, it would take a long time long to manually curl it and she didn’t know how to style her hair, she never learnt how. Tapping on the counter, she ended up deciding to skip her breakfast to curl it manually, she wouldn’t eat and she’d have cute hair for school, two positives in her eyes.

Once done, she got ready as fast as she could, and left her room just in time to get to the limo. She got down to the main entrance where three of the brothers were waiting. The second oldest brother Reiji greeted her, so far, he had been her favorite, even if he disapproved of her clothing choices. He was very intelligent, polite and didn’t put up with any bullshit, she admired that about him.

“Good morning Miss Blossom, I trust you slept well.” Reiji greeted her, Chanel just smiled and nodded her head. As well as giving a nod to the other brothers, Ayato and Laito. “Let’s get in the limo, shall we?” Reiji spoke as he headed for the door. Chanel followed after him but soon enough she felt two arms on her shoulders. Ayato and Laito. “Ne Bitch-chan~ let’s be limo buddies!” He pressed closer to the female. She looked up at them and just smiled her usual smile. Usually in the limo she sat at the door next to Yui. It seemed the brothers were warming up to her presence.

Everyone was already in the limo when they got in, she waved at everyone, but like normal, she was ignored, maybe she was wrong, they still seemed to hate her. She didn’t like the feeling, she was always loved and adored by everyone. It was the norm, even if they didn’t love her for her and just wanted something frim her. Her eyes looked over everyone as the car journey continued. On her right was Laito, he was nice enough to her, he seemed to be a bit of a creep, but there’s something else about him she didn’t like. To her left was Ayato, the night before was the first time she ever interacted with him, his cocky attitude left something to be desired, but he did help her out with Kanato, which she was grateful for and it gave her hope for a blooming friendship. Yui was sitting beside Ayato, it would be nice to have a friend in the house, and she looked easy enough to manipulate, the only problem was, she was always surrounded by one of the brothers making it difficult to get her alone. Then we have Kanato, she always had strange vibes with him but after last night, she will continue to avoid him to the best of her abilities. Shu was next, Chanel hadn’t formed an opinion of him yet, she’s barely even seen him with his eyes opened up. Then there’s Subaru, he is the most emotional of them all, even if his only emotion is anger, she predicts he will be the easiest to get along with. Reiji is sitting across from her, he’s very logical, she get’s a bit of a butler vibe from him, but she can deal with that. 

Arriving at school, Chanel quickly separated from her roommates to find her friends. She was quite popular at the school, cute, smart and rich, the perfect combination, on top of it, she was mute so people automatically became friends with her just so they wouldn’t be seen as rude or mean. It’s always been that way in every school she went to, she liked it that way, the most popular girl in school, not because of power, but because she’s so kind to everyone she sees. It was her way of manipulation, it gave her power, so people wouldn’t question her, or her questionable activities outside of school. 

“Chanel! Hi, nice to see you again!” Her friend Niko waved to her, Chanel ran up to her, smiling and gave her a big hug. Niko was a hugger, she was a cute girl, very long, straight brown hair, with curtain bangs framing her face, Chanel’s advice of course. Niko was sweet enough, but she didn’t care for the white haired girl one bit, she wanted Laito to notice her, it was quite obvious if you payed attention, and Chanel needed cute girlfriends to boost her scores, they were both using the other, Niko of course didn’t know about Chanel, she though she hit the jackpot, popularity and the possibility of dating a hot guy. “The rest have gone to class, want to head to ours?” Niko asked, Chanel gave her a nod.

As they walked to class, the girls mind began to drift. Niko knew sign language, It made Chanel’s life easier, in class, she could just sign to her and Niko could let the class know Chanel’s thoughts. It also meant that she didn’t have to sit with any of the triplets, the teachers preferred Niko as her translator. That left poor Yui stuck dealing with them. Fake sympathy on Chanel’s part, she was a sadist, just like the brothers, seeing Yui’s uncomfortable faces brought her joy. 

In that moment, she remembered the night before, and falling asleep to the question of why she enjoyed that kind of treatment. Chanel was a control freak, she didn’t like her mind being conflicted with itself, it lead to confusion and doubt.

“Chanel?” The girl in question saw a hand waving in front of her snapping her out of her thoughts. They were at their classroom at this point and began taking their seats. She looked at the brunette and smiled a big tooth smile. “Can I see what you got for last nights homework? I would like to see if it’s correct.” Lies, she wanted to copy Chanel’s answers, not that she minded, handing the girl the work who gratefully took it. More people started to walk into class and greet her. Until finally, the boy she was waiting for, Kai, he was absolutely gorgeous, chiseled to the gods and since day one, it was obvious he liked her, it was only a matter of time before he asks her out, to which she’d of course say yes. He sat at the table next to hers and once again, she was amazed by how beautiful he was, he was almost on the same level as the Sakamaki brothers. He had ginger hair, very fluffy with a bit of a curl to it. Gorgeous, big brown eyes and the cutest freckles. He had a smaller build than she’d normally like but, she hand to admit, he made her a little weak.

“Heya Chanel!” But that all left whenever he opened his mouth. He was so loud, and he had such a high pitch to his voice and it made Chanel want to curl up and die, one of his parents was a singer, it truly wasn’t fair. He looked into her eyes and they both just kind of smiled at each other that goofy smile before looking away, it wasn’t a fake smile either, it was one of those smiles you are trying to suppress but it’s very obvious you’re smiling, she bit her lip as she glanced at him again, before looking back to the board. Soon enough, the whole class was there and the lessons begun. Chanel was very serious about her work so not much happened during school days, usually, during breaks she sits with her friends listening in on their mundane conversations, but today was a little different, instead of listening in, she felt a hand around her wrist as she was dragged away before she could even spot her group of friends.

“Come on! Stop struggling, I wanna show you something.” It was Ayato, he really needed to learn social skills, borderline kidnapping people wasn’t a way to make friends. She kept following his hurried pace, wondering where he’s taking her, until they ended up at the hall of the school. She looked at him with one eyebrow raised as he went into the supply closet and dragged out a basketball. “Ore-sama took the liberty of reading some of your copy, where I learnt that you like sports, so I’m honoring you with a match against me!” She looked at him in disbelief, she took out her copy and wrote “Now? Really? I’m in s skirt and uncomfortable school shoes, how about when we get home, that way it’s a fair game?” His eyes skimmed the letters and he pouted. “Then how about you watch Ore-sama do awesome tricks? It’ll give you a bit of a warning for our match after school, where I of course will beat you, because I’m the best.” She just nodded, not wanting to argue with the hot headed boy.

Chanel took a seat against one of the halls walls and shot Niko a quick text, explaining that she got held up at class and to begin lunch without her. Ayato started messing around at first to warm up a bit, but soon enough he got rather serious with his playing, this time, his cocky attitude was definitely warrantied, he was amazing, she hadn’t seen anything like it, Ayato was extremely fast, he knew exactly what he was doing. He also had this endearing quality about him whenever he did one of his tricks, he’d look back to make sure she’s watching him, almost like a little kid. It was carefree and it looked like he had a lot of fun whenever the ball landed in the hoop.

Soon enough she lost track of time watching him have fun, It was a nice distraction. They didn’t even notice when a red faced teacher walked into the hall, ready to scold them for trespassing.

[x-rainflame-x]

First You Dream- Royai Week Prompt 1, Letter

Rating: PG Genre: Angst/Romance/Fluff Read on AO3 or FF.

Summary: The world is not the only thing Roy is navigating blind.

_______________________________________________________________________

Roy held the letter in his bandaged hands, noting the smoothness of the envelope, how it felt cool against his fingertips, the faint indentions of pen strokes rolling and looping under his touch. It was one of those squared, unofficial ones, the kind that didn’t come from the military but from friends and family. For all that he could discern though, he could not tell what it said, or even who sent it.

He missed the days when he was only useless in the rain.

He held it in front of his face, like the words could somehow bypass his blind gaze and be absorbed straight into his brain. When that didn’t work, he sighed and slouched in his chair, tapping the letter idly against his leg.

He waited patiently—or so he thought—but Riza had dropped the stack of papers on the coffee table a while ago with the promise of returning and had not been back since. In her absence, he had grown bored and begun rifling through the mail himself, trying to guess as to their source by touch alone. The long, folded stack had to be the Central Times, and he thought he recognized the weight of a few bills. Another bearing the raised seal of Amestris signaled some sort of work document, but this small, innocuous envelop captured his interest.

Something clanged in the kitchen, drawing Roy’s attention to Riza as she set about making lunch. He was both miffed that he’d been left behind for so long, and that she had left a mystery like this envelope behind unexplained.

Roy was a patient man, but there were so few points of interest in his dark world anymore. One of those points was Riza, and the other was this stupid letter and he wanted answers.

He blatantly, firmly ignored the quiet voice in the back of his head that whispered how helpless he was, needing Riza to read his mail. How long would she put up with that? With any of this?

With a growl, he reached beside him, feeling for the walking stick he’d left propped against the table. He had only been out of the hospital for two weeks, and Riza only one, but she had insisted on using her medical leave to help Roy grow more accustomed to his disability. She was there from sunup until he ordered her home, and she still didn’t leave until Breda or Falman came to take over for the evening. He was growing weary of being babysat, but not of Riza’s company. If he had known she would be in the kitchen for so long, he would have asked to come with her.

Tentatively, he swept the stick in front of him, the narrow end smacking against a piece of furniture he assumed to be the couch, and it took him a moment to map out exactly which direction he needed to go from there. It was strange how being robbed of his sight could suddenly make him a stranger in his own home.

Slowly, he shuffled forward, one sore hand weakly grasping the stick and the letter, the other held in front of him to spare his nose from anymore unfortunate encounters with the walls. He followed his memory and the sounds of garlic chicken sizzling on the stove, becoming more confident when his shins didn’t encounter any obstacles.

Then, something caught against his toe, bending it at a particularly painful angle. He let out a yelp, yanking his foot from the ground reflexively. The quick motion of it set his black world spinning around him and he overcorrected, stumbled, then fell hard to the ground.

“Roy!” Riza’s voice called into the darkness. It was amazing how blackness could spin.

“ ’m fine,” he huffed into the carpet. It wasn’t his first fall, and unfortunately would not be his last. He brought a hand under him, pushing himself up and wincing through the motion as it put pressure on his healing hands. His toe throbbed mercilessly, and he pressed it into the carpet to try to relieve some of the throbbing pain.  

Suddenly, Riza was beside him, her soft fingers gripping under his elbow to help him up, the scent of spring and her lavender shampoo emphasizing the closeness of her. He fought down the urge to run his hands through her hair once he was standing again, briefly wondering if she’d worn it up or down today. “Sir, we’ve talked about this.” She sounded completely exasperated, her warm voice rendered raspy by her own healing injuries. “You’re walking too fast.”

“I was in a hurry to be with you,” he said by way of defense. He wished he could see her cheeks tinged with pink at the comment—she was delightfully easy to fluster when she was unprepared— but he had to settle for her weary sigh. She picked up one of his hands in hers, then placed his walking stick into his palm before he got too excited about it.

“And while I’m here picking you up off the floor, the chicken is burning,” she said, grabbing his other hand, and he brightened when she didn’t simply release it. “Come on, Roy.”

He loved the way she said his first name; the intimacy of it, the knowing.

“Wait, I dropped something,” he said, gesturing vaguely to the floor.

Fabric rustled as she bent down, or so he assumed by the way her hand twisted in his. “A letter?” she asked.

“Yes. Who sent it?”

“It says ‘Elric.’ That leaves only a couple of options.”

Roy’s lips quirked at that. He felt an excitement stir in his chest at the thought of the Elric brothers writing. Ed was loath to visit, as any amount of time outside of the hospital was time away from his little brother’s side, and Al would be stuck in the hospital for at least another month if not two. Roy missed them both—even Ed, as annoying as he could be.  

“Could you read it?”

“Let me save the chicken first.”

She led him into the kitchen by hand. He heard a chair scrapping tile, then her hands on his shoulders, gently guiding him to sit. He did with the utmost trust, only floundering a bit to find the table’s edge. Paper hissed gently as she set the letter down on the scarred, worn tabletop, then headed back into Roy’s small kitchen.

She puttered around a bit more, and he could picture the way she looked in his mind’s eye; the gentle curve of her spine as she lifted the cast iron skillet from the stovetop, a pale hand brushing her bangs from her eyes as she caramelized carrots in another pan, the light from his kitchen window making her sherry eyes shine.

For all he knew though, it could have been cloudy.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, propping up his elbow and resting his chin on his knuckles. The position hurt his hand though, so he settled for leaning against the edge of the table.

“Just fine, Sir,” she answered.

“You’re not getting lightheaded, are you?”

He could hear the eyeroll in her voice that she was far too dignified to ever physically enact. “I will let you know if I do.”

“Hmm,” Roy hummed in his throat. “I don’t want you working yourself too hard. You’re on medical leave, after all.”

“If you will save me from the strain of picking you up off the floor, it would help tremendously.”

Roy pouted. “Picking on the blind man? That’s pretty low, Lieutenant.”

“So is the floor.”

“Cruel.”

He heard her smirk now, sharp and self-satisfied. “Maybe I will lay off if you eat your lunch without making fun of my cooking.” A sharp thunk indicated a plate being set before him, and she would probably already have cut it up for him into smaller, more manageable pieces. He tried to push away the flush of humiliation that burned his face at the thought and tried to instead relish the fact that she was near, here in his house, almost in the way he always wanted it.

But not like this.

She settled into the chair next to him, ready to intervene if he was unable to feed himself again. After his hands had been run through, his fine motor skills were abysmal at best, and using small utensils like forks or pens sometimes left his hands spasming in such a way that he was unable to continue without assistance.

It was all in all both painful and very embarrassing, another blow to his dwindling dignity, and Riza was the only highlight, even if she had to see him this way.

He heard paper rustling. “It’s from Edward,” she said, a note of hesitancy in her voice.

It took Roy a moment to realize what she was talking about. “The letter?”

“Yes.” More hesitation.

“That bad, huh?”

“. . . worse.”

Was that . . . embarrassment in her voice?

Against all of his better judgement, Roy sighed. “Well, go ahead Lieutenant.”

“Sir,” she said with a great deal of reluctance.

“Dear Colonel Idiot, congratulations on your release from the hospital. It’s been a little quiet without you here to yell at, but Al thinks it’s peaceful. He’s also begging for you to come get me out of his hair for a few hours, but we all know that’s not going to happen.

“You asked for me to update you on Al’s condition. He’s gained eight pounds since you checked out, and his physical therapy is coming along. He says to let you know that he misses you guys and to stop by and visit. As the elder brother, I’d like to revoke that invitation from you specifically. You’re not invited.

“You also asked to be kept in the loop on my progress. They’ve technically released me, though I’ve still got a lot of therapy to go to get my right arm in shape. Either way, I’ll be sticking around the hospital until Al’s out.”

Riza stopped.

“That’s it?” Roy asked. That wasn’t nearly as painful as she’d made it out to be. It was almost polite, by Ed’s standards.

“No, sir,” she said with a sigh. “There is one more paragraph.”

With mounting dread, Roy waited for her to gather herself.

“One last note,” she continued reading. “If you’re reading this, that means you’re having someone else read it to you out loud. I’m going to bet cenz that that someone is the Lieutenant. And if she’s reading it to you aloud and you’ve gotten this far, that means you two are alone, so why don’t you go ahead and confess your love to her already and stop stalling. Most sincerely, Fullmetal.”

The loudest silence Roy had ever heard stretched between them.

Well.

Roy could imagine his face was about four shades of red, and he was almost thankful he couldn’t see Riza’s reaction. His ears were on fire, and he ran his sore hands through his disheveled hair just to give them something to do. “How . . . nice of him to write.”

“Very,” she agreed tersely.

He cleared his throat. “I can’t argue with his sentiments, but his delivery is terrible.”

He wasn’t quite sure what caused him to pursue such a bold course, but something about it felt right, and if he knew anything about navigating disquieting situations, he knew to listen to his gut.

She paused, and he listened carefully, trying to gauge her reaction by sound alone. “Sir,” she protested, “I don’t think it’s appropriate—”

“Fullmetal is a lot of things, but appropriate isn’t one of them.”

“You know what I mean.”

He reached out in front of him, finding her hands and holding them, the same way he might have held her gaze under different circumstances. She resisted his grip only for a second before allowing him to intertwine his aching fingers in between hers. “Riza,” he said. “Fullmetal is an ineloquent buffoon, but he makes a valid point. We’ve got a very unique opportunity here.”

“Sir, the law—”

“Is not going to mind a couple of officers on medical leave sharing a moment of honesty in my kitchen,” he finished softly.

When she didn’t flinch or otherwise shoot him, he continued.

“I understand that I must be quite the sight to behold right now,” he said, trying hard to keep the self-depreciation out of his voice, “but nothing has changed for me. If it weren’t for the law—”

“Don’t.”

Her sudden protest startled him.

Nothing had changed for him, but maybe . . . could things have changed for her?

It had been so long since he’d been alone with her. Between her transfer, and all the fighting and recovery, it seemed like the past few months had been a whirlwind. Maybe at some point during that time, she’d lost interest. He couldn’t blame her, of course. After all, what hope could a blind man possibly have to change the country? How could he keep his promise to her like this?

What if the only reason she was here was out of duty? Some misplaced sense of guilt?

The depression he’d been teetering on the edge of for over two months threatened to swallow him in that moment. He released her hands, then cleared his throat, feeling like a fool and worse. All of the shameless flirting he’d done over the past week . . . no wonder she had been so uncomfortable. “I see. I’m sorry, it seems I’ve . . . misread the situation.”

There was movement from her chair, then it came closer and he could smell lavender again. “You have not misread anything,” she said, and she must have been mere inches in front of his face, her warm, sweet breath brushing against his lips.

Her calloused hands came from nowhere, one catching him under the jaw, one sliding around his neck.

This sudden turn of events did wonders for his mood.

His hands moved of their own accord, one wrapping around her waist and drawing her onto his lap, the other cupping the side of her face before running his stiff fingers through her hair—it was down, he knew it—circling back again over her bandaged throat to catch her jaw. Her weight settled against him, strong and steady, and without his sight, he allowed Riza to initiate, her lips meeting his almost chastely. He followed her, eager to escalate the situation, but she pulled back.

Now he was really confused.

With a heavy sigh, she pressed her forehead against his, their breath intermingling in the small space between them. “I want this,” she said softly, her nose brushing his. “I want this more than you can know.”

He swallowed thickly. “We can have it.”

He felt her shake her head against his. “No. We can have lies and secrets, but we cannot have what I want. Not until the laws change.”

Roy stroked her hair, almost hesitantly. “Will you wait?” he whispered. “Will you wait until the laws are abolished?”

“I will wait for you as long as it takes,” she promised. “But I will not settle for half of what we should have. I will wait until I can have all of it.”

“And until then?”

“I will be your most trusted subordinate.”

His laugh was more sad than not, almost a sob. “Well. I’d better ask Fuhrer Grumman to get started on the laws that really count.”

“You’d better,” she agreed. Her closed lips met his one more time, a gentle pressure that he returned, savoring this contact with the woman was irrevocably, madly in love with.

Then she pulled away from him entirely. The chair across from him squeaked as she settled into it once more, leaving him feeling too light and too heavy all at once, already missing her grounding weight against him. “Your food is going to get cold,” she reminded.

He started to reply, only to have a piece of chicken stuffed in his mouth.

He blinked, then gave an indignant scowl as he began to chew, swallowing it all too soon. “Firstly Riza, it’s burned.”

“Your fault,” she reminded.

“Secondly, I can feed myself.”

Something was shoved into his hand, and it took him a moment to realize it was a fork. “Better get to it then, Sir.”

Roy offered her what he hoped to be a convincing smirk found his plate with his other hand, delicately gripping the edge as he began to blindly chase chicken and carrots around his plate.

It didn’t take very long for his hands to start spasming, and without comment, Riza swiped the fork from the tabletop where it had fallen and pushed another bit of carrot into his mouth.

And she did it all without derogatory comment, and as embarrassed as he was, he was grateful. Roy Mustang did not deserve Riza Hawkeye, and that was that.

He had waited for her for years, and would wait for her for an eternity more if he had to.

But he knew she would be worth the wait.

_______________________________________________________________________

A/N: This is my first time posting a full one-shot to Tumblr (I think) xD

I told my muse it was time to sit down and work on DOA and SSB, so it sat in the corner and wrote this to spite me.

I have no idea how to write Royai, but I wanted to give it a shot anyways, because I love them and I haven't written for them specifically and explicitly in forever. I'm, frankly, a bit terrified of posting this because I feel like I cannot do these two justice xD Will I do the other prompts? It depends how much I cringe when I go back and reread this :'D UGH I don't even know if this is in character, but I've spent literally all week on the first prompt, sooooo *throws it out there*. EdWin Week burned me out a bit on the posting-ever-day thing, so that's definitely not gonna happen. Maybe I can finish this in June? Unless my muse *pointed glare* does not cooperate.

We'll see how it goes xD

If you have time, please drop a comment/reblog, and I'll see you next time c:

God Bless, -RainFlame

[rkivepacks]

TITLE: i’m good, i love you Series: why are you sorry? it’s not your fault you don’t love me [see previous work] Pairing: taekook/kookv/vkook (Kim Taehyung & Jeon Jungkook) Rating: PG13 Genre: angst but you’ll live Word Count: 2,029 Trigger Warning/s: swearing(?), one or two sentences of questioning self worth but not too graphic Cross-posted on: AO3/dtgloss

NOTES: ∟ banner by @rkivepacks​ ∟ request banner here ∟ request prompt/send commission here

∟ unbeta-ed ∟ the requests for a sequel for the first one was from a long time ago and im p sure when they said requests they were hoping for a fluff one but i wasnt in the mood for fluffy when i did this so...

Summary:   the difference between want and have is you

his eyes roam the words carefully printed on the wall, on the lower left part of the painting. it is where the title, date and artist are usually placed.

a piece of me is always found right beside you it follows you wherever you go it’s lonely from what i see where i stay far from you

alone.

taehyung, these days, is alone.

he is used to it but routine never makes it okay to be alone.

his sadness should not be a routine but, oh well, it is.

he stays in his average house that’s one in the lined town houses in the village. the area itself is decongested, only the people habituating each house goes in and out of their little village and everyone is almost familiar, if not knows, each other.

his own house in particular looks lived on. more so on the side of used but not so worn out. maybe the walls are not as white and clean as they used to be, a few scratches and dirts that got on it as days pass by but no ceiling has started falling down unprompted and everything works how they’re assigned to function.

taehyung would like to think he’s more sad than alone. he still has friends anyway but friends cannot always live with you on your house guised under the cover of it being a sleepover that turns into days.

but friends just like him have their own personal matters and cannot always be with him. he understands when hoseok cannot stay for more than two days and has to leave just before lunch to meet up with a close friend of his, one from outside of their group of friends so taehyung can’t have the option to ask to come with. he understands when jimin cannot come on days he’s asking him to and sometimes comes on a saturday instead of his friday night invite.

when he’s so down, he thinks he’s not entitled to his friends times but they assure him it’s not the case.

so no, he is not alone.

he goes over to the next display, going over the sculpture itself and then to the artist description posed near the display. the sculpture itself is a form that resembles a man that is slightly haunched, although it takes more than a second to realize as the form only captures the head to chest of a human body, but considering that the back part of it protrudes slightly the way a man would when lax. the main body is that of charcoal color but it was designed to portray a visual effect of a dripping paint from its head, represented with different colors which are bright enough to contrast its dark body.

the display is almost familiar and it has been staring at him longer than he stared at it.

the title is printed in bold, a sinner

love is not a sin but my thoughts about you and the way i see the word love around you is

taehyung moves on to another display, it being a worn out stack of paper that looks as if it has 300 pages of a4’s binded by a clip. he steps closer to it to inspect, knowing displays are off limits and can only be appreciated through the eyes, he skims over the word of what he found out would be a script of some sort.

he reads,

i’m drunk, i love you

the difference between want and have is you

he walks over to the last one if its placement by the exit is anything to go by, just like the last one he’s looked over, it’s a display with a single ring in the middle.

all alone

and it sits there as if it has been assigned to mock him and the ring that sits on the very bottom and far end of a box full of things he doesn’t need but can’t seem to throw away.

he reads the title and wow, yes. it’s definitely mocking him. he had been giving it the benefit of the doubt but the title is the last straw. this whole exhibit is out to mock him.

taehyung thinks he’s being over dramatic. but he also thinks this last display is offensive to him, absolutely personal.

—

taehyung sits at home, eyes on the tv he has playing as he waits for night time news.

it seems like the words of the last display he went to see that day have been imprinted on his brain, on the wall in front of him, on the ceiling as he looks up, when he close his eyes.

—

Once you told me, your eyes are always on me.

And you did, you took care of me.

Because you are that kind of person.

You put me before you.

All the time.

Which is why you are the best.

To be honest, I would not even put me before me.

—

taehyungiehyungihyung,

have you been well? i hope you are. the longest time i’ve been away from you is now and still counting— the present. the second one would be during Christmas breaks because you and your family spend it on your relatives home alternately and don’t come back until after new years. anyway... is your hair longer now? i hope it is and i hope you dont cut it. i seem to have a lot of hopes.

im packing up for a trip to a long trail not too far from here. they said it was too pretty to pass up and you get to reach the clouds.

, jungkook

taehyung reads the letter. he received it yesterday late afternoon and it doesnt have a date. jungkook often forgets to write dates so he assumes they were written at least three days ago.

it wasnt the first letter he received. he doesnt keep count but he has a few kept behind his door where he puts his mails.

in the first letter, jungkook said its best to not have taehyung write back. he goes from one place to another, he said. so, taehyung merely reads them and keeps them.

in the first letter, he also said about his sudden departure. he wanted to be away for a while and he knows his best friend would need him for the wedding so he decided to do it after. he didnt even get to say goodbye and only got a whiff of the younger when the letter came that day.

jungkook didnt say why he left and where he went. he just did. right after taehyung’s wedding, he packed up and went away from taehyung’s vicinity as far as he could.

does he know? taehyung asks. does he know i’m not married anymore?

—

his divorce with minji was something that stemmed off a petty thing.

falling out of love is a petty thing.

but, he guesses, they both cannot trap themselves in a house they’re not happy in anymore.

it was sudden, the divorce.

minji told him that she doesnt feel the same anymore. they agreed to stay off the house and after more than a week of a cool off she said she doesnt feel anything at all.

in taehyung’s case, he did not feel it the same way minji did. he only noticed once minji told him she felt that way. it made him feel that the heaviness in the room when they’re both in it was a foreboding for something.

taehyung is a giving lover. the time away from minji made him think a lot. he knows he doesn’t have a choice but to agree on the separation. forbid his thoughts, but he doesn’t want the time to come when the both of them completely falls out of love and seeks warmth from another person and then go home at night to sleep in the same bed.

he texts minji, because as accepting as he is about the decision, he’s not too keen watching a soon to be ex wife pack up and leave.

both of them were gradually moving out their personal items from the house. properties they bought with their shared money will be sold as secondhand items and some are donated.

in between moving out and settling in to a new apartment, he’s had namjoon and jimin with him and if yoongi has extra time mostly at night, he helps sort out his things.

he knew there was a missing person. he wanted to tell jungkook about it.

but jungkook wasn’t there.

—

until one day, jungkook is back.

suddenly, he’s there attending the dinner party for jin’s birthday, sat beside hoseok.

he casted him wary glances throughout the night. at some point he was even referencing to taehyung like everything’s so normal, but taehyung knows it’s just a very jungkook way of letting him know ‘i’m here and i will talk to you and acknowledge your presence whether you like it or not’. taehyung isn’t one for being petty so he went along with it. thankfully, their friends don’t seem to give too much thought into their two other friends sat on the opposite sides of the table.

the next day, jungkook seems to have arrived in taehyung’s new home at the same time a delivery for taehyung came. it eased jungkook’s nerves that he doesn’t have to go through knocking and then purposefully being ignored.

“did you order anything?” jungkook asks just as the delivery person makes their leave.

“i went and bought some essential oils.” taehyung silently gestures for the other to come in and jungkook did, locking the door behind him.

“how are you, taehyungie?” jungkook was sat in front of taehyung in the living room. there’s only the makeshift coffee table and some mats on the floor to sit on since taehyung have yet to buy a sofa.

“tired these days. in between work and unpacking. i’m jealous of kids who do nothing when they’re moving into a new home because they get a free pass to not do things around.” taehyung pouts silently, looking at the soda in can at hand while he traces a finger on the lid.

jungkook chuckles at that and after, no one speaks until, “i’ve heard about it.”

when taehyung makes no motion to respond to it, jungkook continues, “jimin hyung mentioned it to me one time that they were helping you move out so i asked... sorry.”

“it’s okay. i had friends who helped me. i got by.” taehyung winces.

“i wasn’t.” jungkook says, the here that follows hangs in the air which they know would follow.

“you were busy.” taehyung says instead.

jungkook would retaliate but he knows there’s no point.

“i sent you an invite to my exhibit. you went?” jungkook asks, hopeful.

“i did.”

“you didn’t insist to text me or write. i kind of assumed you would once you see it, but it’s okay. at least you did go to it.” jungkook pats his own thigh lightly to distract him.

“i wouldn’t know what to say. at the wedding, and even before that. i would feel something but i didn’t want to be that person and assume. i could be seeing it wrong, i don’t know.” taehyung rambles. “but then the other boys would also drop a few comments here and then.” and it’s true. sometimes jin would say teasing words and taehyung only acts as if he doesn’t get it and sometimes, he acts as if he didn’t hear it at all.

“you were happy. i don’t have any excuse.” jungkook whispers.

“now-“

“now what?”

“i guess to some extent, i liked you back. but i didn’t see it until now so i’m not going to rush this and jump into a relationship with you right away. it’s not fair to the both of us.”

“i understand. after all, your divorce is not yet finalized. i’d be here for you but i’m not gonna distract you from it.” jungkook assures him and that’s all he needs. everything will be okay.

“i know it’s the last day of your exhibit today. wanna go together?” taehyung smiles at jungkook and indeed, everything’s okay.

[daytodaymusings]

23 things that have led me to where I am now... (24)

It’s crazy to think that I turned 24 yesterday ... this past year has been one heck of a rollercoaster (and no I am not trying to make a Jonas brother pun here). I’ve had so many experiences on both a small and big scale all of which I’ll take with me in year twenty four and more. But here’s a breakdown of the twenty three BIG ones.

1. I attended a Jonas Brothers Concert ... and it was by far THE BEST present I’ve ever given myself. After years of pining over them *looks over at life size poster in the living room* and screaming their lyrics on the top of my lungs with my best friends I finally got the chance to see THE Jonas Brothers LIVE. IN CONCERT. Not to mention, I got to touch Nick and possibly Joe? (I don’t know the night was a blur from the excitement and disbelief). Such a massive moment in my friendship with S too! 

2. I lost my Grandmother ... who I had just spoken to the night before on the phone. who I adore more than anything in the world. who got me started on soap operas and washing my hands after I touch everything. who broke her arm trying to keep me from falling out of the bed when I was younger and made fun of me for putting on make up when I was older. & who made me laugh because she was so cute and lively and had such a personality. It hurts that I was worlds away when it happened and it hurts knowing that I don’t have someone to go back to anymore, in what used to be my favorite place in the world. Hold on tight to the ones you love, kids. You never know when you’ll be saying your last “I love you”. (You love me)

3. I celebrated my other Grandmother’s birthday with a surprise trip ... we went on a cruise with the majority of the family and I had such a great time celebrating and laughing with her. May have also developed asthma from all the smoke inhalation because someone just HAD to get all the BINGO letters for the $100 prize at the casinos... *spoiler alert: we didn’t get it* But we did make it away with a bag of chocolates stolen from a secret birthday event for her and others. Grandma drunk on laughter = the best kind of drunk. 

4. I started nursing school ... because I finally realized what makes my heart skip a beat. It isn’t just having the ability to care for another human being. I love watching sick babies recover and finally get to go home, seeing the faces of first time parents and grandparents when they hold their newborn. I love the coo-ing noises the babies make when they are happy in your arms or in a bathtub. And I love how at work I am inspired by all the people and stories around me. (Low key hate myself for not realizing all of this sooner though... could’ve saved some $$$). 

5. I traveled to Australia ... an unexpected but much needed trip I decided to tag along with my parents and Grandma (and a few others), who had been planning it for awhile. I hadn’t traveled anywhere new in awhile and Australia was beyond my wildest dreams. In total in the whole week (9 days?) I was there I ate 5 meals and averaged 3 hours of sleep a night. Was it healthy though? Yes, cause I learned about a whole new culture and saw spectacular views of a lifetime. 

6. I wrote a song ... and it was SO. MUCH. FUN. I took this analogy that I had been thinking of for so long and just put it into words. It honestly came to me when I was at the casino on the cruise and looked over at the LOML and suddenly I spilled feelings that I had been hiding for a long time onto a page and added a melody that reminded me of the moment and the feelings... and I showed it to a few people who said it sounded like my idol, #TaylorSwift. AHHH!

7. And then another one ... came to fruition. Suddenly I had two songs and a whole new hobby I enjoyed that allows me to put beautiful, heartbreaking, magical, angry moments into frames filled with words. 

8. I cleaned this guy’s house ... and thought maybe for one second he’d maybe just maaayyyybeeee like me back. A part of me also did it for closure, which I got by leaving a 2 paged letter on how I felt about him and how I finally realized I had to let go, because as much as I loved him he would never see me that way...ever. Even after everything we had put each other through. And in case you were wondering, by clean, I mean I spent 4+ hours on all fours wiping up vomit and beer off the floor and washing his dishes because why stop with the floor, right? 

9. Made a couple new friends ... E.C & C.J you guys know who you are. Thank you for being the only two people who understand me and being up for drinking a margarita with me any time, any day. #PrayForOurLivers But also, I love our friendship and how I know I always have my back no matter what. 

10. Cut off some “friends” ... which was a long time coming. I hurt. Especially the moment that I realized I was depending on people who were no longer there. Who only needed me when they needed me and would tell me I owed them or they owed me. That’s just not what friendship is and not the kind of relationships I want in life. I don’t want to wake up wondering if I was used by someone I care for and wondering why we only hang out once in a blue moon when convenient for them.

11. Hosted 5 girls from Spain ... who I bonded with and learned a lot from in regards to our nursing educations. We went to DC and the beach and there was one awesome night of drunken craziness that brought back memories of when I was in Spain. #TQESPAÑA I also learned to step out of my comfort zone and make new friends even if I might not feel comfortable right away because they seem 3387420974923 times cooler. But the truth is.. (and I think I need to reread this line over and over on the bad days).... people will accept you for your generosity and hospitality. Your looks and how “cool” you are don’t matter on a large scale. It’s how you are willing to go out for people even if you don’t know them that really sticks out and makes you friend and human material. And who knows, you might even make new friends in new places. 

12. Went on a Spontaneous Busch Gardens Trip ... screamed. and shout(ed). and let it all out. It was a much needed time and a crazy ass trip. We got to ride The Gryffin, aka MY FAVORITE RIDE EVER, 5 times before we left the park. And even with the rain, we still had an amazing time together. Big lesson here? You have to make the best of every moment and create your own sunshine. You deserve it. 

13. Took a 2 hour break at work ... I NEVER take breaks. And if I do it is maybe 30 minutes total in my 12 hour day. It is something I get yelled at for but I can’t sit around knowing people need help. But one day, E and I got lunch cause we were both working and then celebrated with milkshakes later in the afternoon, totaling to 2 hours of recovered time from the year and a half I have not been taking breaks. Regrets? None. My body and mind needed it so very much. 

14. Had one awesome night playing basketball ... gosh I don’t even remember how it happened but I remember having the respect of every guy in the room. Being the only girl that plays with them can suck, especially cause testosterone runs high and boys can be rude and such ball hoggers. What’s so big about winning? NOTHING. But I definitely won that night and showed ‘em I’m just as capable if not more. *cue the song “Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better”*

15. Completed my fourth Spartan Race ... the BEAST, which sucked due to the cold. (Thanks, Winter). But it was so so so so AWESOME seeing what I had been capable of accomplishing. of what my body is able to do. Even more so it was just all such a fun experience and the first time I set my mind to something and just committed and stuck it out, even though my body would ache and it was tiring driving a whole day in the car to get to places, sleep 2 hours, and race. 

16. Told what I thought was a white lie ... but even white lies can turn a rainbow dark. I felt that I was doing the right thing, and later learned how wrong I was. Especially as time passed on and I kept up with the lie. The truth can be a very scary thing to admit to, but it’s important that you tell it because it sets you free. Even if it is the biggest mistake of your life and you know that once you say it aloud it makes it will make a deafening mark on your life, you have to. There just isn’t a way around it. 

17. Finished an essay months before it was due ... I’ve never been a procrastinator and I am so thankful for it. But also for those who are... let me just say... going into a semester knowing you’ve finished the biggest project that is going to be assigned = BEST. FEELING. IN. THE. WORLD. Right next to, Nick Jonas’s soft ass hands. 

18. Learned how to play the guitar ... which made songwriting possible. I always wanted to learn it because I love hearing acoustic versions of songs and also Taylor Swift. It’s amazing what you can accomplish with the help of youtube, 4 chords, and hella determination. 

19. Finally realized that people aren’t capable of change ... and it’s ok. Sometimes we don’t need people to change who they are, we have to change ourselves and our perspectives. The world isn’t black and white. We all have the ability to see it however we want to. But most importantly, when we do decide to make a change, we need to make sure we’re doing it all for the right reasons. We shouldn’t do it for someone to want us. We shouldn’t do it because we saw someone else do it. We do it because it’s the right thing for us ... and stick to it because one change can make a hell of a difference. 

20. Finished 6 ice cream bars in one sitting ... and then went to cycle bar. 0/10 recommend. 

21. Stopped responding right away ... because NO ONE should ever spend every single second of their life glued to a small screen. There is so much life around us and it’s become such a bad habit for us to forget that and to lose ourselves in social media. 

22. Started Travel Pig’s instagram ... @itstravelpig for those who want to add her. (YES, MY FRIENDS, I’VE DECIDED IT IS A HER/SHE/GIRL.) I thought it could build some cultural awareness or atleast be a platform to share cool story about new places. But i’ve been slacking on it... oops. But traveling and learning about new cultures have been a huge part of my growing up and I wanted to share it and try to help people realize that even with all the differences in skin tone we’re all just amazing human beings capable of so much beauty. 

23. Blew out the candles on my melting cake ... without making a wish. It was there, in that moment, that I realized I am truly happy again. I have found a good group of people to surround myself with, passion, a new hobby, but most importantly MYSELF. I don’t think it all would have been possible without all the hurt and confusion that I have felt in the past two years, so I’m thankful that people took me for granted and left me out on the side of the street. But... 

a very important honorable mention is needed now. I have to say, I wouldn’t be this type of happy if it were not for a special someone, who has stayed by my side through it all. Even in the worst times, you stayed and held onto me, making sure I knew I still had a home even though I was wandering around...lost. I love you. You know who you are. 

Those who were there in the passing, those who got away, thank you for teaching me to appreciate life and the moments. Those who left without a backwards glance, you all will never be forgotten and will instead serve as gentle reminders that I am better because of them. stronger too. Those who stayed, well, let me just say, I can’t wait to see what 24 has in store. 

Cheers to one hell of a ride and the start of 24. 

[kalis-scribbles]

Fan Character: Evander Lynn Aguilar

The First Solomon Fan Character is here and submitted by @flomaker778800 

Bio data

Name: Evander Lynn Aguilar Age: 14 ~ Birthday: November 11th Ethnicity: Mixed, White/Mexican ~ Nationality: American Gender: Trans Boy/Non-Binary, Assigned Female at Birth Sexuality: Bisexual Pronouns: Mostly goes by He/His, but some days likes to go by They/Them.

Kali’s Note: I’m putting the rest under the cut because it’s quite an elaborate entry.

The Magic Stuff

Previous Practices: N/A - Has never practiced magic but has enjoyed books about magic and loves learning about the various gods and magical creatures. Has very little knowledge about the Practitioners world.

Would like to Practice: Really anything would be great, but has a particular interest in charms and runes. He hopes to use them to bring luck and prosperity to his friends and family, and maybe learn a few hexes… just in case.

Consort: A garden snake with small, blunt horns named Freddie. He’s a piece of the ancient god Aengus from Celtic/Irish Myths. He is dark shades of green and grey eyes, with the small horns sticking up just behind his skull. He’s very clever, charming, and silly, often making himself grow/shrink/disappear/reappear instead of gesturing when he talks. He’s the piece of Aengus linked to young love, youthful exuberance in general, and poetry so he has a tendency to ‘ship’ people at (Seemingly) random and then proceed to tease them in an overly poetic way, even if he’s not very good at it.. Although he may not be the most social Consort at first, he can be very open and chatty when he gets to know someone.

Relationship with Consort: Best Bros

Boon: The ability to balance the energies surrounding any creature or human. To align their Energy (Aura,Chi,Qi, basically chakra balancing.) At it’s most powerful it can fully heal a person of energy related diseases and bring mental clarity and calm. In small cases it can ease anxiety and can temporarily alleviate most types of depression/anxiety and dissociative disorders, giving the afflicted time to process and better understand their condition.

Price: You cannot deny your feelings or run from them. Ignoring your thoughts to appease others or avoid things is strictly forbidden and will result in headaches/migraines, hot/cold flashes, white-out vision, and in extreme cases fainting or blacking out. If you hate something you must admit that you hate it to yourself. If you love something you must admit you love it to yourself. Even if you’re conflicted or feeling both at once. If you are not in balance, you cannot balance others.

Initiation: It was spontaneous for Evander, but Freddie had been watching him for a while and waited until he was old enough before introducing himself. 

School Information

Grade:

1

Class Options: Herbology and Potioncraft, Astrology, Charms and Talismans, Runecraft Cultural Class: Neoplatonism (Mostly because he’s very curious about what the heck that is.)* Phys. Ed.: Gym and Pool Cultural Enrichment: Cuisine (Loves to make Mexican food and is very good at it.)

*a school of philosophy developed by Plotinus in Rome, based on a modified Platonism, and postulating a single source from which all forms of existence emanate and with which the soul seeks mystical union.

The Who

Background: Their birth name is Evelynn, and is the younger of a set of twins. Their twins name is Elise, and they have two older brothers Asa and Martin. His mother is Hispanic and his father is Caucasian (Whitey-white-white). Since they come from two very different ethnic families, they’ve had to deal with the duality of two very different family traditions, so they already have a familiarity with adversity. But it has also caused them inner conflict since both sides also tend to be closed minded. There is also a heavy expectation for them to remain traditionally female for any family events and holidays. Since Evander is very well practiced, they don’t really mind it but it gets frustrating at times when they talk about other gay people. The only one who knows and accepts that their trans is their twin. 

In school, his best subjects were literature and Math, and he would often spend his lunch time in the cafeteria kitchen as a volunteer server (Mostly because he had no real peer group, but also because they like to cook). Or they’d go to the library and listen to music on the computers while they read. He’s become very good friends with the librarian, the lunch personnel, and the janitors. In class, however, he tends to pick and choose what he wants to learn and asks a lot of questions about the things he’s interested in. Driving the teachers crazy. He still manages to do his other work, it just takes a bit more time for him than everyone else.

Appearance: They’re tall for their age, standing at about 5 ‘3’. light brown skin and dark, straight hair cut into a mens comb-over style. Blue eyes and a tube body build, which helps them blend in as a boy. They still need a chest wrap or, in their case, a couple tight sports bras. They aren’t very muscular or particularly flabby, but they aren’t weak either. At first glance, they might have a resting indifference-face, but will always perk up and smile when they notice someone staring at them, usually giving an awkward chuckle or cringe or both.

Other Things About Evander

They’re a fast runner, and somewhat agile,

Has never really been in a fight where they’ve fought back so they’ don’t really know how strong/weak they are. 

They also like to do Parkour and freerunning, but rarely actually have a space to do it effectively. 

He doesn’t live on a farm by any means, but he wants to start raising his own chickens for eggs and meat. And make a garden for other things he wants like grapes and berries. 

His fears include: heights, any small hole/s, particularly strong winds.

Their Boon gives them an advanced ability to understand the people around them. This helps them move easily from one group to another. A lot like a social chameleon, but it’s not really their cup of tea. They prefer working one on one with people and can get easily overwhelmed by intense energies coming from people with emotional imbalances. This is suppose to work as a form of sonar for finding people in need of help, and sometimes it works, but sometimes it ends up hurting them too much and they need time to recoup. Freddie has been helping them learn to meditate and center themselves so they don’t need as much time to escape as they did before. 

The full backstory of how they met

It happened spontaneously when Evan ran from his house, his family had been really getting to him that day, and went to visit their favorite spot. They usually hike down the side trails along the highway by their home; but one trail leads away from the town to a tree growing in the middle of a large, grassy field. A beautiful place to hide. 

After crying under the tree for about an hour they were startled, and tripped over themselves trying to get away from, a random, talking snake that fell onto their head out of the tree. Freddie had been watching him come the tree for a while, noticing his loneliness and anger. But also his openness and want for change. So Freddie made his appearance and offered him an opportunity to become a Practitioner. Evan gladly accepted. 

Unfortunately, at the time, they didn’t quite realize that they were so in denial and conflicted about their sexuality and their families manipulations, so the first two weeks was full of mind splitting migraines, hot flashes during sleepless nights, and fainting at school. After being admitted to the hospital and put under special watch, they began the process of understanding themselves. Freddie by their side and offering them words of understanding to help them through. After beginning to accept themselves, the symptoms lessened and, over the course of five more months, went away almost entirely. They admitted to themselves who they were and switched his reading interests to world religions and mythologies, Freddie guiding him to certain ones and telling him what was true and false.

They just about died the day they received their Application Form*, but was also thoroughly terrified. They decided to start off at this school 100% new and completely changed their style. They cut their hair, got new clothes, shoes, and a new music player fully stocked with anything you could imagine. He’s stoked to be away from his family and learning more about this Magical new world. Even if he regrets it. 

Kali’s note: *Spontaneous students don’t get so much a invitation letter as two agents of the inquisition to gently brainwash their relative and possibly not so gently drag them to Solomon Academy.

Flo’s comment: Lord have mercy, i’m so sorry (TuT)

[inaheartbeat-phff]

Chapter 15

Monday, 19th January 2015, 10:30am Nottingham Cottage, Kensington Palace, London

Harry and Arabella’s weekend was relaxing. They stayed in bed and had everything sent to their room. The morning after their night out with their friends, they were supposed to meet their lawyers to discuss their pre-nuptials as well as the wedding planner, Samantha Hartfield, but Arabella decided that they needed a weekend off work. Their schedule for the next year is pretty packed so they need all the free time they can get.

This morning, Arabella woke up pretty early at 8:30am to do half an hour worth of exercise. At nine am, she was joined by Harry in the shower and they both got ready for the day. It’s a full day of meetings and planning so Arabella want to dress comfortably.

As they were having breakfast in the dining area, Jane entered the dining area and did a small curtsy.

“Your Royal Highness, your box has been delivered. It’s currently in your office with Benjamin.” Jane left the dining room shortly after.

Harry turned to Arabella and asked her, "Box?"

"Every few weeks, the parliament and advisors compile documents and put them inside this box we like to call the Crown Princess' Box. You know them by the name Red Box?" Arabella asked. When Harry nodded she continued, "My father and your grandmother get them daily, I'm not sure about your father but they do the same to me. Just instead of every day, they send them every few weeks. We established it when your grandmother became Queen I think. My great grandmother, Juliana wanted to be more informed about her kingdom so she had one made. The designs a bit different though, each unique to its owner. Papa has his monogram at the front with the words 'The King' printed on it in orange while mine is just gold. Come, I'll show them to you."

With that, Arabella got up from her seat and left the room while Harry followed close behind her. They entered their currently joint office, there sitting on top of their desk was a big red box Harry would often see in his granny's office. Next to the box stood a man, wearing a black suit.

"Harry, this is Benjamin. He's usually the one who sends these boxes to me. Once we're married, you'll be allowed to see what’s inside and if they can't reach me, or I'm unavailable, they will be delivered to you." Arabella explained.

"Your Royal Highnesses." Benjamin bowed to the both of them. "I'll be waiting outside these doors. Once your highness is done, I shall come in and collect it." With a nod, he left the room leaving the soon to be heirs to the throne alone.

"Come closer Harry, it's not going to bite you." Arabella laughed before sitting herself down on the chair.

"It's so weird seeing it so close. Usually I'll see them pass by, going inside Granny's office during Christmas time and then see them depart again at the end of the day." Harry looked at the boxes closely. "Your name is engraved." He noted.

At the top of the box it has her monogram, the letter A as well as the Netherlands Crown on top as well as her coat of arms. Just above the lock was Arabella's full title engraved, 'The Princess of Orange, Princess Arabella Elisabeth of The Netherlands'.

"Yeah. Once we're married, you get your own box too. They'll send you official details as well as notices, bills they want to pass in  the parliament, all those stuff. Some of the documents can only be approved by my father but other less important stuff we get to approve." Arabella said to Harry.

"Wow." Harry sighed.

"Come on, grab a chair, we can do this box together." Arabella suggested.

Harry took one of the chairs across the desk and placed it next to Arabella's. Arabella then took out her key and opened the box. Inside was divided into two parts. One for all the folders and documents, the other for her stationary such as pens, wax and stamps with her initials on them.

"Everything they want me to know, they put it on top." Arabella pointed out to Harry. "Everything they rather I didn’t know, like cabinet meetings, foreign office briefings, they hide it away at the bottom. So whenever I have the room all to myself and no one is looking, I do this." With that Arabella took the whole pile of folders out of the box and flipped it on the table. "I learned this trick from Aunt Lilibet when I got my first box."

"Was she there when you got it?" Harry asked.

"Only her and Uncle Carl was there." Arabella smiled as she recalled back the first time she ever got her own box. "Right after my father's coronation, I had the first box delivered to me. Aunt Lilibet and Uncle Carl have asked my father when they were planning to deliver my first ever box so that they would make the time to be here when I open it. They wanted to guide me through it since I haven't got a clue what to do. I remember just opening the box and stared at it for five minutes because I didn’t know where to start and what I'm supposed to do. Aunt Lilibet taught me that trick which she learned from her father, and Uncle Carl told me not to be afraid to write remarks or disapprove of the documents. They guided me through that box and I will do the same for you and for our first born should the time comes for that."

Arabella explained to him what she needed to do to get through it. The contents of the box wasn’t much, it was mostly to inform Arabella what is happening in her country, updated finance of the country as well as some events that needed her attention such as the parliament meeting dates. Once they were finished, Arabella called back Benjamin so that he could take away the box and deliver it back to Parliament with Arabella's updated notes and some approvals. They quickly had their lunch before leaving to St. James Palace.

Their entourage today, even though it's a day filled with meetings and is going to be indoors most of the time, consists of James and Arthur for Harry and Finn, Lucas and Liam for Arabella with Barend driving the main car. Ed and Jane is meeting them at St. James along with Sir David Manning, Harry's advisor, Gerrit, Arabella's advisor, Melissa, Arabella's lawyer and Harry's family lawyer. First, Arabella and Harry will meet Samantha Hartfield, their wedding planner to discuss a basic layout and everything with Ed and Jane present. After that, they're going to have a meeting with their advisors as well as lawyers to discuss their pre-nuptials and other contracts required.

When they arrived at St. James, Ed and Jane was waiting for them at the front entrance. As Harry and Arabella step out of the car, both gave a bow and a curtsy respectively and said, "Your Royal Highness."

"Ms. Samantha Hartfield is waiting for you both at the meeting room." Ed informed them as they walked inside the palace.

"We've prepared some sandwiches as well as scones, tea and coffee for the meeting." Jane said afterwards.

"Thank you." Arabella said before they reached the door of the meeting room. The footman waiting opened the doors and announced their arrival.

"Their Royal Highness The Princess of Orange and Prince Henry of Wales."

Arabella entered first with Harry slightly behind her while Ed and Jane walked in a few steps behind the two. Once Ed an Jane had entered the room, the footman left closing the doors behind him.

"Your Royal Highness," Samantha Hartfield stepped forwards and curtsied to the both of them.

"Hello. Thank you for helping us." Arabella said as she shakes Samantha's hands.

"It's a pleasure ma'am." Samantha said before greeting Harry. Behind her was four other people, which she then introduced.

"Ma'am, Sir, these are my team, Jessica Wilson, Friday Miller, Noah Smith and Ethan Jones." Samantha pointed to each member of her team.

"Hi there. Thank you so much for helping us do this." Arabella said as she shook each of their hands. "These two behind us are Edward and Jane. If there is anything you need to clarify or ask, just give them a call and they'll re-direct it to us."

"Shall we get started?" Harry then gestured at the seats and they all sat around the table.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"We have a basic checklist about the wedding we can discuss today." Samantha started off saying. "Firstly, do you have a specific budget in mind?"

"Well, money isn't really a problem, but we do want to keep it under £30 million." Harry said. Arabella and Harry have agreed before the meeting that they would each give £15 million each to make up for the budget.

"Great." Samantha said as Friday note down what was being discussed. "Moving on, do you have a date in mind?"

"We were thinking of doing it on the 18th of October?" Arabella said before looking at Jane and Ed to see if that is possible or not.

Jane opened her calendar and checked the date. "The 18th falls on a Sunday."

"We can make it happen and have Monday as a bank holiday Monday, but it’s frowned upon to get married on a Sunday." Ed told Harry and Arbella.

"The 16th?" Arabella asks.

"16th falls on a Friday." Jane said.

"We'll have it on the 16th of October then." Arabella sighed. "The Netherlands and The United Kingdom will have a long weekend."

"That should give us what, under two weeks for the honeymoon before that forum thing?" Harry asks Ed to confirm, which he did with a nod.

"Wedding date is set on the 16th of October twenty fifteen? The time can be confirmed later on our second meeting." Samantha regarded.

"Yes. The 16th of October." Harry nodded.

"Next, what would you like your theme to be? The decorations, cards, etc?" Samantha asks.

"I was thinking of maybe autumnal colours? Since it’s in October?" Harry suggested.

"Oh, that's pretty. Yes, I like the idea of autumnal colours. But I still want the wedding to look very majestic and regal." Arabella added.

"We can work with that. So colour wise would be reds, oranges, burnt red, brown?" Samantha re-confirm to make sure they have it right.

"Yes." The royal pair nodded their heads.

"Moving on, do we have a draft guest list?" Samantha asks.

"Their Majesties, King Willem-Alexander and Queen Elizabeth is sorting out the list. Their office will forward to us the final version at the end of February. Then we'll proceed with Their Royal Highnesses friends and family friends they would like to invite. We should have the final list early March." Jane spoke up.

"An estimate of 3,500 people most likely." Ed said.

"Okay then. Venue?" Samantha noted down.

"I would prefer it be at Nieuwe Kerk, Amsterdam. But it's very small." Arabella remarked. "Now that I think about it, none of the places in the Netherlands are big enough for this large scale wedding."

"It's down to St. Paul's or the Abbey." Ed noted.

"I kind of like the interior of St. Paul's. it's very majestic feeling." Arabella smiled thinking about it.

"I honestly don’t really mind." Harry shrugged.

"St. Paul's it is." Samantha clapped her hands. "Is there anything else we have to discuss?"

“Will you be doing a civil ceremony?” Jane asks. “Many of the Dutch Royal Family does that including His Majesty.”

Arabella looked at Harry before slowly nodding her head. “If we were to have the religious ceremony here, we could do the civil ceremony afterwards at The Hague. We can do them whenever.”

“I’m okay with it. It gives both countries a chance to celebrate.” Harry agreed.

"Their Majesties are hosting the luncheon at Buckingham Palace after the ceremony. There will be approximately eight hundred guests." Ed cleared his throat before continuing, "HRH The Prince of Wales will be hosting your reception dinner at Kensington with close friends and family."

They spent two hours going over wedding details and at the end of their meeting, Arabella felt very drained and tired. All this wedding planning makes her head pound.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

After their meeting with Samantha and her team of wedding planners, Harry and Arabella has another meeting with their lawyers and advisors to discuss their prenuptials.

"Sir, Ma'am, shall we get started?" Gerrit, Arabella's advisor started off. "We are here to discuss what will happen to your properties, money and heirs if anything were to happen to you or you get a divorce.

“We would like to start off by stating both your net worths and what the outcomes will be if you were to join accounts or keep separate accounts and an additional joint account.” David, Harry’s advisor continued. “Prince Harry has a net worth of £30 million while Princess Arabella has a net worth of £32 million.”

“Princess Arabella has an annual allowance from the state of £8.8 million for expenses such as wardrobe, staff and transportation.” Gerrit said.

“Prince Harry has an annual allowance of £450,000 from the late Princess Diana’s estate and a £6.8 million from the Duchy of Cornwall for expenses such as staff, wardrobe and travels.” David finished off. “If you were to combine everything, your net worth would be £62 million, with allowance of £15.6 million. Prince Harry's allowance from the late Princess Diana's estate will remain untouched."

"I think it would be best if we keep our separate accounts but make a new one as a joint account for everything we spend together as well as a trust fund for our future children." Harry suggested.

"In case of a divorce or god forbid, death, whatever is in the joint account would be automatically sent to the trust fund." Arabella said her input. "We'll portion off our allowances per year for our joint account as well as to start off the trust fund."

"And how much would that be?" Gerrit asked.

"It would only be fair for the both of us, if we each give the same amount for both the trust fund and the joint account." Arabella suggested.

"We could each give say, £1.5 million to start up the joint account and an additional £500,000 to start up the trust fund." Harry piped up. "And every year, £1.5 will go to our joint account whereas for the trust fund, we'll half it to £250,000 each. That way, when our children are all grown up, they have more than enough to live very comfortably."

"I'm okay with that." Arabella agreed. On that note, the lawyers noted what they have agreed upon and moved on to the next part of the meeting.

"What will become of properties, estates and jewellery collection? I understand that Prince Harry inherited his mother's jewellery collection that is shared with the Duchess of Cambridge?" Arabella's lawyer, Melissa asked.

"That's right. On my mother's will, she specifically said that her jewellery collection is for Will and I's future spouses." Harry confirmed. "And I would like to continue that as well. If anything were to happen, the jewellery collection will go to our children."

"As for my personal jewellery collection, only my children will inherit it. If we were to divorce or if god forbid, I passed on, my collection will only go to my children. If I do not have any, they will go to my female next of kin, which would be my sisters." Arabella added on. "If Harry were to ever re-marry, she will have to make do with whatever she got. Sorry babe." She then kissed his cheeks.

"No, I understand completely. If I were to re-marry, she will be under the British monarchy and not yours. Though I doubt she'll get anything from Granny since we all know you're her favourite." Harry laughed.

"As for estates, our children will inherit our privately owned estates such as Craigowan Lodge, York Cottage and Soestdijk Palace. Our official residences in each respective countries will remain as it is." Arabella continued. "As what the law says, any legitimate children of ours have a claim to the throne so even if we divorced, they will remain in the line of succession."

They discussed more details about the prenuptials for another half an hour before the lawyers updated the documents and printed it accordingly for the engaged couple to sign.

Once they are signed, the pair went back to Nottingham cottage to freshen up for tea with The Queen.

Arabella wore a black cropped shirt paired with a khaki coloured high waisted skirt that falls just above her knees. She also has on a three tiered pearl necklace with a black clutch. To top it all off, she has on her black pointed Louboutin's and a beige coloured coat. Harry on the other hand, changed into a loose white buttoned on shirt tucked into khaki pants and a black coat.

When they arrived at Buckingham Palace, the footman opened their doors and let them to the drawing room where Elizabeth and Philip are in.

"Their Royal Highness, The Princess of Orange and Prince Henry of Wales." He bowed to the Queen and Prince Consort before leaving the room.

Arabella entered the room and greeted the older pair. Arabella was about to curtsy to her godmother when Elizabeth held her hands tightly and keep her up right.

"What did I say about curtsying in private?" Elizabeth said looking up to Arabella's eyes.

"You are the Queen, it's disrespectful not to curtsy to you." Arabella said.

"Nonsense." Elizabeth waved her hand. "You are my goddaughter, in private you do not curtsy to me at all understood? Or I will throw you in the tower." Elizabeth warned Arabella.

"Fine. But just to tell you that you can't throw me in the Tower, it's now a tourist attraction." Arabella leaned down to kiss her cheeks before moving on to Philip while Harry greeted his grandmother.

"You my dear, will cause her to go into an early grave." Philip remarked as he kissed her cheeks in greeting.

"Ha ha." Arabella rolled her eyes before kissing back his cheeks. "We both know you're the one sending her into an early grave. Mr I run my mouth a lot without thinking."

"I'll have you know, I have my inside voice now, it's just sometimes people are too annoying and irritating those words just spill out of my mouth." Philip shrugged.

"Okay you two, come sit." Elizabeth shook her head before gesturing the both of them and Harry to sit down.

"So how's the wedding planning going?" Elizabeth asked as they all got themselves comfortable.

"It's going. We settled on a date and the venue. Guest lists are up to you and Alexander while budget isn't really a problem." Harry said. "Thank you Richard." He accepted the tea from the butler who was making it.

"Have you? What have you decided." Philip asked as he sips his tea.

"We decided on October 16th for our date and St. Paul's Cathedral for our venue. It's a better choice since Nieuwe Kerk is too small for a wedding this big. We will have a civil ceremony in Amsterdam though. It's just going to happen after we get back from our honeymoon." Arabella explained. "Since we’re having it in October, the colour theme would be autumnal colours. Can you please wear red or burnt orange Aunt Lilibet? I know you love wearing neon colours but just make sure it sticks to the colour scheme yeah?" Arabella pleaded.

"I’ll try my best." Elizabeth sipped her tea. "Have you both got any engagement planned for the remaining month?"

"Nope," Arabella answered. "I do have to go back to The Hague on the 18th of February for Great Aunty Christina's birthday and I know Harry's first official engagement is on the 26th of February which I will be joining."

"Would you mind accompanying me on an engagement to visit the Navy base in Plymouth at the end of this month?" Philip asked Bella.

"I would love to join you Uncle Philip." Arabella smiled at him. "Are you going to wear a sailor's costume though? I don’t think you'll look that attractive given your day and age." She joked.

"I'll have you know, young lady, I was the most handsome sailor during my time in the navy." Philip retort back.

"Yeah, when was that? During the ice age?" Arabella shot back making Elizabeth and Harry burst out in laughter. The rest of the evening was spent in laughter and lots of banter between Philip and Arabella. Deep down in her heart, Elizabeth knew that Philip and Arabella has a special bond between them.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

@DutchRoyalFamily: HRH The Princess of Orange will be joining HRH The Duke of Edinburgh on his trip to Plymouth to visit the Royal Navy Base. The trip will happen on the 29th of January. The pair will be using the Royal Train per the request of HM The Queen. This will be HRH first engagement with The Duke of Edinburgh and HRH first visit to Plymouth. For more information about HRH trip, visit Kensington Palace’s Twitter. 

@KensingtonRoyal: HRH The Princess of Orange will be joining HRH The Duke of Edinburgh on his trip to Plymouth to visit the Royal Navy Base. The trip will happen on the 29th of January. The pair will be using the Royal Train per the request of HM The Queen. This will be HRH first engagement with The Duke of Edinburgh and HRH first visit to Plymouth. The pair will be departing from the London Paddingdon Station at 6:30 am and is due to arrive at Plymouth station at 11am. They will be greeted by the Lord Mayor, Dr. John Mahony and will have brunch with him before promptly leaving to the Royal Navy base and spend the rest of the day there. They are due to return back to London that night.

@TheRoyalFamily: HRH The Duke of Edinburgh will be joined by HRH The Princess of Orange on his trip to Plymouth to visit the Royal Navy Base. The Trip will happen on the 29th of January. The Pair will be using the Royal Train per the request of HM The Queen. This will be HRH first engagement with DofE and HRH first visit to Plymouth. The pair will be departing from the London Paddington Station at 6:30 am and is due to arrive at Plymouth station at 11 am. They will be greeted by the Lord Mayor Dr. John Mahony and will have brunch with him before promptly leaving to the Royal Navy Base and spend the rest of the day there. They are due to return back to London that night. 

Next Chapter

[ohmama2012]

October 4th Brain Dump

Before My Coffee

This morning the school bus was 20 minutes late, and Maddy was “freezing” at the bus stop. It was about 50 degrees. Imagine this in winter. 20 minutes. With Elliott at home. Moreover, the stop is a good hike from our door. Our car is not. I may ask for my money back. But then I consider how great it is that I don’t have to do school PICK-UP.  Whenever the bus driver is out sick, the sub is always significantly late. Why can’t the company communicate the route to its sub drivers?

Next, I get Elliott to get dressed for school. He has been happily playing in pajamas while we were at the bus, and I realize how great it is that I don’t have to drag him along to get Maddy out the door to school. 

During Coffee

I sip coffee and we play with his knights together. He tells me school is boring. This makes me sad. But I know he doesn’t really feel that way. He just wants to stay in his pajamas. I go upstairs and pick out some clothes for him. He rejects my choices, and takes the clothes I selected upstairs. He returns in an outfit of his own choosing.  It looks great. I have 15 minutes. I make his lunch and go online. He asks me to help him write “Doctor Diapers.” I realize he knows all of his letters better than before. 

Post Coffee

I think about a disagreement I had with Matt this morning over where to put up a fence/gate/screen to hide our garbage cans. I was annoyed he had gone ahead and started the project before we had discussed my idea -- since the whole thing was my idea in the first place. He was annoyed I was annoyed. I was annoyed he was annoyed at me for being annoyed. I rejected his choices. Not because they were bad. Simply because I was insulted that he didn’t bother asking me. Maybe his idea of a swinging door is a good one after all. I had actually considered it too. I just wanted to be included in the discussion. 

After Elliott’s school drop-off, I pull into the drive and get VERY EXCITED TO GARDEN! Flower beds all coming together in the front yard. Foundation plantings done. Want to get bulbs in the ground today! Realize I should work first of course. 

Enter Internet

Sometimes it’s good to recognize the exact moment at which the internet ruined your productivity. For me, it was a weird email from Com Ed saying my request for paperless billing had been rejected because our account was closed. Um, it’s not closed. I just paid our bill. Our lights are on. So I went to the web site and there was an alert saying computers are down. I need answers -- is everyone getting this email? “Hey, everyone!!” In order to ask “everyone,” I type into the browser window: “T-W-I-T-T . . .” 

Brett Kavanagugh (anger, sadness, curiosity, confusion, fear, triggered memories, anger at Trump, anger at the white feminist reaction to Monica Lewinsky . . . beer jokes)

Jason Van Dyke (sadness, anger, fear, suspense, closing statements about the final moments of a man’s life . . . )

The Yankees (excitement! Guilt for not following baseball really all season, memories of the 2003 ALCS (Aaron Boone) and 2004 ALDS series vs. Red Sox, (the playoff beard and the sweep to end the curse and blah blah blah). 

When I watched the Red Sox win the World Series in 2004 in a bar called the Wild Goose on Lincoln Ave in Chicago, I felt exactly the way I felt when I watched OJ Simpson hear his “not guilty” verdict on TV in our student center at the University of Rochester: You can’t help but feel happy for the winners. This is, perhaps, an example of why sports are such a healthy emotional substitute for the strong feelings brought on by current events. 

Second Cup Epiphanies and Prayers

So yeah, I stopped following baseball pretty much as soon as my kids were born. My husband’s obsession with it, admittedly, made me feel like his was enough for the both of us. It was like the ONE thing I could reliably dump on him to relieve my mental load without worrying if he would follow up or remember. Here, honey: Take baseball. I have too much else to worry about. 

This post season, that changes. I am back in. I am going to work, garden, and learn the starting line-up of the team I have loved all my life but somehow lost. I think this will make me much better at all of the rest of the things. Including political action or fights for justice. 

As for those other issues, there is a proven way to stop thinking about them when thinking won’t help: Say a little prayer. Then breathe. 

[deeeelightfuldee]

What’s the earliest you could go to bed at night and feel okay about?

in my best dreams id love to go to bed at like 745/8. but my brain doesnt shut down like that, and i tend to be very productive at night. Maybe one day tho

What is you favorite type of lunch meat?

uhhhhh turkey

What time of the year do you dislike the most?

summer heat.

Do you put ketchup on your scrambled eggs?

ew no.

What is your favorite color to wear?

so I have historically worn a lot of darker colors but I’m trying to be intentional about making my life romantic and I need to introduce more color.

Are you an overachiever?

in most respects, yes

What physical feature do you wish you had (i.e. freckles, curly hair)?

smaller size, sharper jawline, thicker hair (not a LOT thicker, just mildly)

What fictional character (i.e. Bambi, Scarlette O'Hara) would you marry?

mr. darcy omfggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg.

Did you ever go through a phase where you wrote bad poetry?

no. never

What is your favorite thing about your life?

that no matter what, God has always provided and had a better plan

Have you ever painted a picture of somebody?

as a kid, all the time.

Did you enjoy your past relationships?

in most respects. each of them was good for a time.

Name a comedy that you like.

four christmases

Could you wait until marriage for sex?

that was the plan

What was the last thing that impressed you?

ummm that the plumber was able to get the roots out of the drain as easily as he did.

When was the last time you were in a pet store?

last summer. We were going to get benny a little bro/sis but with covid everyone was adopting animals like crazy out here.. so the ones they had were on these enormous wait lists where you would go thru an interview, a HOME INSPECTION, and had to bring all your other animals in to meet said rescue. it was ridiculous. 

What nationality is your last name?

dutch

What’s your favorite kind of chips and dip?

ems crack dip with uhhh the wavy lays

Who was the last boy that you saw cry?

uhh hm. hmmmmmmm... I honestly can’t recall

Does your mom know you do surveys?

I dunno, tbh

Have you ever had a serious injury?

I mean, somewhat. Not anything I discuss tho lol

What was the last thing you achieved?

surviving vid!

Would you enjoy being famous?

i doubt it. I’m pretty introverted and even though I get along very easily with people, my batteries charge best when im by myself or home. I would very much like the income though lol.

What’s under your bed?

I plan to go thru it soon! I’m trying to gather all my kile memories and I know I have like jewelry paperwork, cards from flowers, letters, etc. that need to be pulled. :(

Do you enjoy travelling?

Love it.

Have you ever belonged to a club? If so, what was it?

absolutely. thats a long, long list. lots of academic, Christian, honors, volunteer, and youth group types.

When was the last time you drank strawberry milk?

oh geez, maybeeeeeee 15 years?

Have you ever managed to collect all the fast food toys in a set?

no. that was never my thing. 

Do you have a clock in your room?

No. My old cable box had the besttttttt time light. I miss having a small clock. I mentioned this to mom how we spent like forever looking for replacements after we changed cable providers. We didn’t want red or green, but the white. Now this makes me want to find one for my room. mom has a google device so shes set lol.

Did you have a good driver’s ED teacher?

I had the most phenomenal teacher. tho when it came to actual driving appointments (after the class periods) I often got paired with this older fella who constantly berated me over being homeschooled and telling me he was going to report me to the state. eventually I stood up to him, handed him the HSLDA contact card (home school legal defense association) and encouraged him to report me all he wanted. he stopped attacking me finally. it was awful. but the other gentleman was hilarious and fun.

Which of Britney Spears’ songs is your favorite?

ohhhhhh mer gersh i love so many of her songs. this answer would definitely change depending on the week but this week its a tie between gimme more and circus. 

Does mind over matter work for you?

in most respects

Are you paranoid?

i can be at times.

What is the best thing about winter?

OOOOOoo good gravy this is a long list. I love the calm. I love the way the air is thick and cold and how quiet it becomes. I love hearing the sound of snow falling. I love the glitter haze it leaves. I love the way it feels like the house wraps you up in a warm hug when you come in from the cold. I love the way candles and a fire in the fireplace make everything so cozy. I love the glow of twinkling lights, white and colored, just casting the most beautiful and dreamy cast on the neighborhood. I love the food and drinks that make you feel full and ready for a deep sleep. I love the clothes and the bundling up, the scarves, the hats, the mittens. I love the music and the way no matter where you go, there are carols playing the sweetest love songs. I love the way decorations come up and people display their much-loved memories in the form of ornaments on their trees. I love seeing the elaborate wrapping styles of packages around the tree and filling up the stockings. I love seeing the snowmen and igloo designs displayed with pride in the front yards around town. I love the way the world gets dark so early, yet.. there is light reflecting off the mounds of snow. I love the way the early night allows for early comfy flannel pajamas and thick wool socks and sleep. I love the curling up under a giant mound of blankets and reading a book. I love thinking about the joy on other’s faces when they open gifts that were cultivated for their happiness. I love the rereading of the beloved passages of scripture where we recall the reason for the season. I just love it all. 

Have you ever been truly in love?

yes. 2 times, how lucky I was. 

Are you currently planning a trip?

I was not. I probably could stand to be home for a bit. 

How many plants are in your home?

honestly, no clue at this point. I’ve been locked away coming up on a month. I dunno how many we have right now.

What is your favorite possession?

hmm. boy this is hard. It used to be my ring kile got me. I feel weird saying my favorite things are from him lately, so maybe my stained glass lamp. 

Have you ever felt like you were too nice and way too often overlooked?

I am a nice person majority of the time and I would say I have been overlooked from time to time but I definitely do not behave nicely in order to be noticed.

What movies have tripped you out?

eh, I’m not entirely sure. 

Did you rollerblade as a kid? Do you still rollerblade?

nope. I was so prone to breaking my ankles that it just absolutely was not for me. I tried a couple times, but couldn’t grasp the hang of it.

Would you ever settle into a relationship that wasn’t right for you? Do you know friends who are in relationships just so they have someone to sleep with at night?

no. this life is way too precious and too short to be spent laying next to someone who isn’t right for me. I have no intentions of settling. I do know of friends who have settled just to have someone near. It makes me so sad. The thought of settling like that just destroys me. Not to mention how unfair it is to the other person. Idk. Just sad sad sad.

Would you take a dirty picture of yourself for someone you are dating?

no nudity. 

Do you use earplugs or a sleeping mask when you sleep?

no. I would be way too distracted by that. I also don’t like things touching my face.

What summertime treats do you love?

ummm watermelon. popsicles.

How picky are you when it comes to choosing who to kiss or not kiss?

oooo boy im so ridiculously picky about it. In fact, one guy i was seeing for a few dates... i was like unsure of him and he wanted to kiss so bad and I just avoided it everytime lol.

What do you hate most about moving?

I’ve only done a temporary move. I don’t know that it’s the same. 

Do you feel that having sex anywhere but a bed is more exciting?

I think that I’d be down for it if I were married, but I think its most intimate when its in private lol

Do you drink 5 hour energy drinks or any other kinds of energy drinks?

Nope. It’s just not my thing. I’m never lacking that much energy.

Has anyone ever whistled at you?

yes. 

Do you like scarves?

love them. 

Is your father homophobic?

I’m not sure. I haven’t got a clue. 

Do you take gummy vitamins?

sometimes. its my preferred method

Have you ever applied make-up on a guy, for any reason at all?

not that I can recall. ohhhhhh maybe when i was in theater and we needed to put like color on their faces to ensure they wouldn’t be washed out by the harsh lighting.

Who would you like to meet before you die?

no one. those who want to meet me, should meet me lol

If your dream was to be a model, and a big opportunity came up, but you had to be nude, would you take it?

nah. 

What’s the most ridiculous conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard of?

oh there have been so many. I just ignore them. I don’t see sense in letting my mind be corrupted by that 

If Heaven and Hell exists, where are you going when you die?

heaven!

Who is the person that you are afraid of losing, above everyone else?

mom!

What is one thing that pisses you off pretty much everyday?

the bathroom lol

Is there anyone you know that you feel should consider therapy?

everyone. everyone and anyone would benefit from therapy.

Do you like any of the songs on Twilight, or the actual movie/saga itself?

I’ve never seen it so I couldn’t tell ya.

How old was the first person you kissed?

at the time? I was 16 he was ...... 19 

Will you be a strict parent one day?

strict? no. I’ll have rules and such but I’m a very loving caregiver... not to be cocky

Last person to stand up for you?

I wish i could tell you. I’ve never been the kind that requires someone else to protect me like that. but man, it has to feel good to know someone else is willing to go to those lengths.

Have you been to a baby shower?

many times.

Who were you with the last time you went to the movie theater?

My sister

What’s your favorite high school memory?

hmm, there are so many i loved.. probably the trips.

Do you like relationships, or do you prefer to be single?

i love being single, but miss the connection from a relationship

What is one adventurous thing you’d be willing to do?

hot air balloon.

What subject at school did you absolutely hate?

freakin math

Italian food or Chinese food?

Chinese. ugh, I’d kill for some if they had GF soy sauce options

Do you like to make flash cards when you study?

sometimes, it depends on what I’m using them for. often I’ll just write like Question Answer type patterns in my notebook and then use a coversheet. I hate losing notecards.

Has anyone ever told you that you’re a good singer?

yeah but I don’t sing like that anymore.

Do you ever watch TED talks, live or online?

I used to a lot,not anymore so much. 

I dare you to write the name of a person you strongly dislike.

no thank you

Biggest trouble you’ve ever gotten into at school?

none really on my behalf. one girl completely plagiarized my work and that led to some drama, but beyond that nothing.

Do you own one of those “professional” DSLR cameras?

no, I’m not that sort of wealthy.

Does it bother you when you see a 6th grader with a bunch of gadgets?

I mean, part of me thinks that its just kinda sad for the kid to not have simple pleasures instead of needing all the finest gadgets, 

Did you buy yearbooks every year in high school, or did you not bother?

n/a

Do you have Restless Legs Syndrome?

No

Jalapeños: yay or nay?

yay most of the time.

Did you ever play Minecraft?

uhhhh only when my nephews ask me to for like 5 mins lol

Did you ever have a Club Penguin account? Were you a member?

I didn’t.

Do you know anyone that seems to not have any common sense?

yes. some people just seem very... unaware.

What do you think is the biggest injustice that was ever done to you?

assault

What type of person angers you the most?

those who feel it is OK for them to assault another person in order to gain what they want or to release what they desire to release

If you could change your appearance, how would you alter it?

I’d want to be smaller. thicker hair. probably invisalign so I can correct my bite. 

Describe your first relationship?

he was ... fascinating to me. He allowed me to have my guard down. He made me laugh, he made me blush, but he made me feel like I was constantly safe. He was wounded from his previous marriage but he was.. so worth mending. However, we were long distance and he just wasn’t able to do that. He needed more than I was able to offer him at the time.

Describe your last relationship?

OK so relationship is such a widely defined word. I’m going to describe the last person I was personally committed to. He was my other half. He was pretty vain and conceited when I first got to know him. Constantly concerned with his work and nothing but his work. However, along the years he developed into the most kind, generous, patient, extremely loving man. He changed all sorts of his former ways. He began investing in his character and taking the time to better himself. It was so incredible to watch. We created a bond where he was my world. I thought I was his. but we ended over him having a relationship for years that I knew nothing about. it’s weird, this quote from jane eyre reminds me of him...

“I have a strange feeling with regard to you. As if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly knotted to a similar string in you. And if you were to leave I'm afraid that cord of communion would snap. And I have a notion that I'd take to bleeding inwardly. As for you, you'd forget me.”

Can you honestly say that you always practice safe sex?

I didn’t get the option to do so when it was happening. 

Why do you think your most favorite film touches you so deeply?

ps i love you just tears me to shreds over how effing painful it is to lose someone you love.

What do you want people you meet for the first time to think about you?

that I was kind and friendly, warm and inviting.

Do you feel protective over someone?

yes. my loved ones. my family members. my close friends.

What perfume/cologne do you wear?

ummm either very sexy night, or refuge.

What was the color of the bridesmaid dresses of the last wedding you went to?

a very deep, dark red/maroon. super lovely

What is your favorite way to eat chicken?

CHICKEN SANDWICH< preach

It is your birthday. You hope the cake is:

omg i crave regular birthday cake. gluten free cake so far has been quite disappointing. 

What were you doing at 8pm last night?

nothing.

[bolbianddolanhouse]

BNHA self insert AU [Book 3]

New? Read here! Then here!

Chapter 3: You Want a Sprite Cranberry?

“Deep breath in” hold for 10 seconds “and breathe out” I tell myself in the mirror as I put my school uniform. It’s the first day of school! And I’m super nervous and not that excited. Just so much fear, gas and anxiety in my body that I clenched my booty cheeks the whole car ride there.

“You okay son?” Mom asked me concerned.

“Yeah! I just don’t know what to expect” I admitted “Any advice?”

“Be open to the unknown and be down to throw down!” she said so confidently “I would say to make friends, but it seems like you won’t have that problem.” She sighed “I envy you Iwa, you get to go to the same school as your best friend. I didn’t have all the resources you have now...my sweet little boy is going to be an agent!”

I look out the window to see the massive building that’s UA “I’ll do my best, because I learned from the best!”

“Oh I wouldn’t say that!” Mom scoffed as she pulled up to the drop off zone “Here’s your stop, go get em Iwata.”

I unclenched my butt cheeks “Okay, bye mom!”

I zoomed out of the car and past the school gates. I’m really out here, double cheeked up on the first day of school. Hella ass, the sun is still out.

“IWA!” yelled a familiar voice.

I turned around to see Beizu running toward me “BEI!”

He jumped into my arms “Are you as gassy as I am?!”

“Unfortunately but in a less excited context” I groaned.

“Eww” he broke his hug “wanna go find a bathroom to have a panic attack in?”

“I’m down” I started to walk along side him, then he looped his arm around mine “Hmm?”

“I wanna walk in together” he said with a smile “another first I get to do with you together!”

“Alright” I said without questioning it. It’s true that we do things together and it’s normal for us. Every now and then we get comments on it but they don’t bother us, we’re like brothers. 

One mini panic attack in the bathroom later and we stroll in the agent 1-A class. Did I mention Beizu decided to be an agent too? It was funny, because we didn’t know we were in the same program until we showed our acceptance letters to each other. We share a brain-cell...which is dangerous because one of us has to come up with a plan and the other has to be rational. We got seats next to each other and waited for homeroom to start.

“Good morning class! Please take your seats” said a man in a gray jumpsuit with some patches on the arms “I am your intel 1-A teacher, Agent 40, but you can also call me Mr. Hansai.” The man opens his portfolio “I see a few familiar names on here.”

I whisper to Beizu “I wonder who he’s talking about?”

“I don’t know, maybe it’s the girl in the back?” Beizu whispered back.

“...It looks like everyone is here” he closes his roll call “I’m going to pass out your schedules, syllabus and protocols. I expect all of you to memorize and act upon the protocols, I will regularly test you throughout the year on them. Especially you, young Palma-kun.”

My blood runs cold “How do you-”

“You look just like your mom! Also we were in the same intel class” sensei explained “If you’re anything like her, you’d be studying up this protocols along with the hero ones for any discrepancies.”

“My mom was your classmate?” My eyes widen “WAIT! You’re part of the Main 5 her year, I recall the picture she showed me!”

“What’s so special about his mom?” scoffed one of the students “So what she was in the top 5?!”

“His mother is agent 19 of the Emperor’s Coup” sensei explained, the class gasped “She’s also a big donor to our school and noted alumni.”

I felt very on the spot, everyone’s eyes were on me. A mix of envy and curiosity within their faces. I refocused when I got my packet, and let me tell you, my schedule was PACKED! No free period whatsoever! Literally after lunch is all of my hero courses. Good thing I don’t need to take any general studies aside from math, never have I been so thankful that my mom was strict on me and my siblings to learn English and Spanish! But it also looks like I’m not skipping levels on subjects like my mom and uncle Jin. Wish I had that level of genius. 

“Oof, that’s a lot of classes” cringed Beizu, glancing over at my desk “but at least we have until lunch together!”

“Yeah” I smirked, remembering all of our lunch shenanigans throughout the years “You have to tell me how the rest of your general ed classes go!”

After sensei goes over the syllabus and gives us time to look over things, a classmate comes up to my desk. Their stature towering me.

“You, prodigy child” they spoke “I have decided that you’ll be my rival!”

At first I was intimidated, but the moment they said ‘rival’, I tried not to throw up in my mouth. “Um, I haven’t done anything to-”

“I will prove to you that I, Garu Netsu, will be worthy of being Main 5!” he interrupted “Don’t think because your mother was the best, you’ll be the best!”

I stood up, clearly pissed off “HEY! First of all, I just learned how to use my quirks for the field like a year ago. Second of all, you watch too much anime because I don’t do rivals or that harem shit!” I squared up my shoulders “My mom is a wonderful lady and she didn’t raise me to be her prodigy! She raised me to be her son! So sit ya ass back down and pick somebody else because I will not be competing with any of you!”

“Fine, I’ll be sitting down” the classmate walks back to their desk “but you’re still going to be the one to beat.”

“And you’ll be horrendously disappointed” I retorted back, sitting back in my seat.

“Wow, it’s like looking into a time machine” sensei chuckled “Your mom always put challengers in their place verbally! Man, I wish I recorded some of her comebacks” he sighed “they were ICONIC!”

That fucked me up a little, am I like my mom? But it wasn’t the time to have an identity crisis! We had to suit up for weapons class. 

“Eww, I look like my mom with my hair up like this huh?” I gagged at myself in the locker mirror.

“Same” sighed Beizu as he closed his locker to show his pulled back hair “we really need a haircut.”

“We should go this weekend” I suggested as we walked out of the locker room “Mom’s hair dresser comes back from maternity leave on Thursday.”

“Oh! What did she have?”

“She had a boy!” I gushed “Mom showed me pictures and they got their father’s scaly skin.”

We walked to the middle of the gym to wait for the weapons instructor. The anticipation was killing me!

“Wonder what we’ll do?” Beizu asked me “your mom and aunt Mimi said that they got to hold a gun on the first day.”

“It’s true” said a thick Russian accent from behind us “Good morning new comers! I am agent 20, but you can call me Master Oleshin.”

“AUNTY MIMI?!” Beizu and I screamed.

“AH babushkas! I couldn’t recognize you from the back” Mimi was taken back “You look so much like your mothers with your hair up like that.”

Beizu and I looked at each other and our faces turned red.

“You know them too?!” cried out a classmate.

“Yes, I was in the Main 5 with the curly haired mother and the pink haired one is my nephew” she walked over and pinched our cheeks “I watched them grow from little babies to the spitting image of their mothers! I’m so proud of my nephews for pursuing intelligence” she cried out as she hugged us aggressively “It’s like having the old team back together!”

“Tia, you’re embarrassing me” I groaned breathlessly “I can’t breathe.”

“I’m sorry that I love my nephews so much” she said as she put us down “But lets get things started!” she pulled out her gun “Weaponry is not just wielding a tool, but an extension of yourself. You may know about the popular ones like the gun, knife, bow and arrow & taser. But theres so many possibilities and situations where different weapons will come into play.” She cocked her gun “I’ve mastered weapons as a supplement of my quirk. If I can aim it, I won’t miss.” She aimed for a target mounted high up on the gym wall and her shot hit the bullseye “The goal is to be more knowledgable and comfortable wielding a variety of weapons for combat. And I want you to find a personal goal for this class, whether it’s accuracy or double wielding, having one will help you in the long run of your agent career.”

Holding a gun with aunty Mimi giving me instruction felt unreal. I didn’t know she taught! It’s her first time teaching, apparently she wanted to come back to UA to teach since she was a 1st year here. To think that my mom, uncle Jin and aunty Mimi met and trained together in this very place?! I wish I could’ve seen them first meeting or seen my mom hold a gun for the first time. Last time I saw her hold one was the night of the incident...where she drew her gun at the home invader. The look on her face was something I couldn’t understand, and I still don’t understand it...but I want to someday. This line of work is drawing me in with wanting to understand why my parents are so passionate about it. BUT ENOUGH OF THAT! I glossed through the rest of the first half of my day, dreading the second half when lunch was almost over.

“Excited?” asked Beizu as he took a cheeto from my almost empty bag.

“More like loathing what’s next” I prop my head on my hand, watching Beizu crunch on cheetos “heard that hero students are really intense.”

“Lets see if you make a friend” snickered Beizu “it worked out for your mom and Lili.”

It clicked what he was trying to say “Shut up!” I playfully shoved him “I’m not finding my significant other in the hero program. Why think about dating if you have a schedule like mine?!”

“True” the bell rang “Better get a move on.”

“Yeah...OH SHIT!” I start to pack up my lunch stuff when it dawned on me “I forgot my bag in homeroom!” I hurried inside the building to get my things and try not to be too late. It’s times like these I wish I had the teleportation quirk and not bitch ass Tensei! But I slow my pace to catch my breath once I got to the correct hall. This is it, I’m in this bitch and open to whatever comes next! I get to the door that said 1-A on it, did my breathing exercise and forced myself to open the door. I saw everyone stare at me and the teacher was Mr Mineta. “Oops my bad, wrong classroom!” I slammed the door and walked the rest of the hall to my horror to see that I did open the right door! “It’s occurred to me that this is the correct classroom” I said as I opened the door “apologies for the intrusion!”

“Not a problem!” said Mr Mineta “would you like to introduce yourself?”

“Oh uhhhh sure” I hesitated a bit going up to the front and looking at everyones confused faces “Hewwo! My name is Iwata El Roca Iida, I’m doing dual program of Intelligence and Hero. Both of my parents went here! They were in the same class as Diaper Boy here.”

“For the last time! It’s Grape Juice or Mr Mineta” yelled the short man “It was bad enough your sister called me that during her time” he rubbed his temples “continue, please.”

“Okay, like Diaper Man here said, my older sister was in the hero program too. I’m not trying to follow in anyone’s footsteps, and I hope I can be useful to you in practice” I bowed “Please don’t mind my eccentric personality, I’m just very comfortable being myself.”

“Thank you Iwata, you can sit next to Kage-san” he pointed to the side desks where someone was waving their hand. “I’ll be right back class, I have to make a few copies for Iwata.”

The moment sensei closed the door everyone turned their heads to face me. Not gonna lie, they looked scary. Pretty sure mom handled the first day better than this.

“So like, is it true that you’re the son of Ingenium?!” asked the girl that sat in front of me.

“Yes! How did you-”

“Which one?” asked a different classmate.

“The leg engine one” I knew what they meant but that’s what came out of my mouth.

“Little brother Ingenium?!” gasped the girl in front of me “I didn’t know he had children?!”

“Well, he’s not the most popular hero on the list” I cut in “and he just keeps to himself when he’s working, so of course you don’t know about the family.”

“You don’t look like him, like at all!” said different classmate, getting all up in my face “bet your dad trained you from a young age to get into UA!”

“Ummm my mom trained me” I backed my face away “I have her quirk and my other quirk is unique to the Iida family engine quirk that he couldn’t train me. So I just taught myself?”

“Must be nice to be blessed with two quirks and parents that can help you train” grumbled a student facing away from everyone else.

“Gen-kun! Don’t be so mean” said Kage-san “ignore him, he’s just having a rough first day.”

“I feel you on that” I responded “all this attention has me a little flustered! I’m not used to everyone swarming me like this.”

I finish the rest of the day and meet up with Beizu at the drop off area. I tell him about my first encounter while waiting for my mom to pick us up.

“Oh! So you know the first project for our class right?” Beizu suddenly remembered.

“Yeah, the one due at the end of the first semester” I recall “what about it?”

“So I thought of what to do” Beizu got giddy “I know it’s like 2 weeks away from getting into groups or whatever BUT I wanna get started on it.”

“Is it going to top your other inventions?”

“TOTALLY! Now that I’m free to use whatever and not be limited to wood rigging, everything is going to look like child’s play!”

“I believe it” I said right before my mom arrived.

After dropping Beizu home, I came home to tell my parents about my day. Hiding the fact that I’m in both, I fibbed what I did the second half of the day. Tensei saw right through me, but didn’t say anything to my relief. Wonder what tomorrow will bring?

-The next day, in the hero classroom-

I just sat my ass down for class and sensei had the AUDACITY to say that we had to go to the gym. Mega annoying! Especially since the intel locker rooms are separate from the hero locker rooms. Wonder if I can have a hero one? Is that allowed? Gotta ask later.

“Why are your training clothes different from ours?” asked Kage-san.

I deadpanned to them and put my arms up “Can’t use my quirk if I have sleeves.”

“Wow...you’re RIPPED BRO!” yelled a different classmate “we gotta train together sometime!”

I blush hard and put my arms down “Oh ummm thanks?” I didn’t know what to say, nobody has said anything about my physic like that. 

“Okay! Time for spars!” sensei announced as he clicked his pen “Throughout the year, we’ll have these spars to see how your quirk and combat skills develop. Don’t get discouraged if you don’t win your round, there’s always opportunities to improve” he checks his clipboard “Mr Iida your up first with...Gon-san.”

I walk to the sparring circle, trying to hide the fact that I’m nervous. When I faced my opponent, my entire stomach dropped to my ass because it was the guy that said I was ripped.

“ALRIGHT! I get to see what those engines can do!”

“Ready?” sensei asked, waiting for us to get into position “you may BEGIN!”

Focus...breathe...don’t lose sight of your opponent... I said to myself as I cautiously circled him. He mirrored me and it didn’t help me...unless that was his quirk? To test this, I slapped myself to see if he’d do the same.

“OUCH” yelped Gon-san after slapping himself “How did you-”

“AHA!” I exclaimed before I stood still and levitated him “The scientific method never fails!”

I heard the class gasp in shock, not expecting me to have two quirks. No matter, I tossed him out of bounds and won in less than a minute.

“Winner is Iida-kun” Mineta scribbled on his clipboard “Not surprised, that telekinesis is a real whammy! Glad to see you got your mom’s strategy skills too.”

“Thank you sensei” I turn to my opponent “Are you okay?!”

“Yea, I’m fine” he said shocked “I- I wasn’t expecting you to catch on so quickly!”

I felt his voice quivering like he feared me, oof I fucked up huh? “I got a little overboard, I’m sorry I did a whole show of things. I’m new to this whole thing” I extended my hand out to help him up “swear I’m not usually like this!”

“Why are you apologizing?” He stood up and gave me the biggest starstruck look “THAT WAS AMAZING! What quirk is that?! We HAVE to train sometime!”

“Yeah! Is that your mom’s quirk?” said another classmate.

“What a unique spread of quirks! You can do anything without lifting a finger!” said another.

I stood there, blushing like a dumbass because of how praising everyone was. For once, I felt like my own person. “Aww shucks y’all” I managed to utter “you really know how to make somebody blush, it was nothing fancy.”

We continued the spars and I was really feeling accepted into the program until it was time to change. I headed toward the intel locker rooms when I felt my body freeze.

“Hey, prodigy child” spat a hateful voice behind me “You are nothing but a privileged, rich boy that doesn’t know the struggle.”

The person showed himself to me, it was that one classmate that grumbled on the first day “It’s you?! Why are you picking on me? I never bad mouthed you.”

“People like you make me sick! You were born into money and blessed with two quirks with parents that support you” he mocked “I had to fight and struggle to get here! Barely making it in. I didn’t see you at the entrance exam and from the way you carried yourself in that fight, you’re unskilled too.”

“I never said I was good, I’m still learning and that’s why I’m here, to learn just like you” I growled, losing my temper “Don’t think for a second I’m trying to de-mean you! Go ahead, throw me your best shot!” I dared him “You have me in your clutches and nobody is watching, isn’t that what you wanted to do?!”

That agitated him “What do you take me for?! I’m not the villain here” he held his fist up, winding up his punch “YOU ARE!”

I closed my eyes, waiting his punch. Instead he gets stopped by Midnight right before his fist reaches my face.

“That is enough!” Midnight said sternly “I don’t know what’s going on here but it’s not okay to hurt your classmate like this!”

“Aunty Midnight?” I gasped.

“How many teachers do you know here?!” snarled the classmate.

“Release him! There’s no point in struggling.” She demanded and seeing that the classmate was caught, he dropped his quirk and put his arm down “I’ll be talking to you later, change and go to class.”

I watch him walk away, still fuming, into the hero locker room. I turn to Midnight “Thanks for the save aunty.”

“No problem kiddo!” she smiled as she ruffled my hair “you got lucky, I was passing by to check on a different student. But are you alright?”

“I am, but that guy” I sighed “he’s right though, I am privileged and I don’t deserve to be here.”

“Don’t say that Iwata, we wouldn’t let you do two programs if we didn’t think you were capable” assured Midnight “you’re brilliant and have the potential to be very powerful in whatever field you choose. Like you said, you’re still learning.”

I was still having doubts but I wanted the conversation to be over “Thanks for that aunty, guess I should hurry and change.”

“Get a move on, I’ll get your sensei know what happened later” she said as she waved me off.

The rest of the day was tense. I felt his sharp gaze from across the room, making me feel uneasy. Pretty sure mom never had to deal with things like this! When I finally got home, I threw myself onto my bed to scream into my sheets.

“Rough day?” asked Tensei from his bed “because same.”

“What happened to you?”

“Lost my debate today because somebody played the ‘quirk inequality’ card and I didn’t have right to argue it because of my social standing as a double wielder” he said in a way that sounded very matter-o-factly “and you?”

“I made an enemy with one of my hero classmates” I groaned “all because I used my telekinesis in a spar and it triggered him to confront me when I went to go change. Apparently I’m just some privileged rich boy that was born lucky and I don’t know a single thing about the struggle.”

“Ouch, what a douchebag” cringed Tensei “like you’ve struggled with a lot! Who cares about if you came from money or not? You’re there to learn.”

“That’s what I said! But I got so mad that I egged him on to hit me” I flipped onto my back “but aunty Midnight came in for the save so I got spared.”

“Fuck, you almost got into your first fight” Tensei said as he sat up and crossed his arms “As someone who had their fair share of school fights out of self defense, you had the right to take the first hit!”

“I couldn’t even if I wanted to” I sighed and rubbed my face “I’m just trying to skate by and be chill with everyone. But of course they have to fucking bring out my Latina side and get me mad.”

“Curse the Latina rage!” 

“Why don’t you just say my name huh?!” Hanaka busted into our room.

“We weren’t talking about you!” Tensei and I yelled.

The days kept rolling in and I was trying my best to be neutral with everybody. Training on my own on the weekends and busting my ass on the mountain of homework I get assigned. Wonder how my parents did this shit? Everyone says they were smart kids...wonder why that trait didn’t pass onto me and got absorbed by bitch ass Tensei. Literally, that boy has a high IQ and has perfect grades, yet he looks like the textbook definition of a punk. If you googled punk and clicked on images, he looks like the first image but with natural blue hair. Do it, it’s stupidly accurate! 

-Fast forward...Thursday, intel homeroom-

It’s one month into this bitch and we just got paired into our semester project partners. To nobody’s surprise, I got Beizu.

“Can’t wait to show you what I made!” whispered Beizu.

“You already made it?” I whispered back.

Beizu nodded vigorously “Yea! I couldn’t wait and I got ahead of myself” he tapped his hands on the desk “Meet me at the tranquility garden after school, so I can show you it.”

I was surprised that he did that and wanted to show me. He rarely finishes his inventions this quickly! After school I rush over to the garden, knowing he was probably already there.

“I’m here!” I panted as I screeched to a halt.

“Great! Okay, here it is!” he said as he pulled out a cube from his backpack.

I take a closer look “It’s a...puzzle cube?”

“It’s not! Well... the outside is, I had to find a vessel that was just the right size so I gutted this puzzle cube I got at the 100 yen store” he explained “It’s a time-peekaboo machine! I figured out how to glance into the past without quirks, by accident of course! Who knew that making an energy blaster was five faulty connects away from making this?!”

“How do you know it works?”

“Well, I was at home alone when I was making and testing this” Beizu’s tone got a little sad “I fired the thing and I instead got a holographic but low quality environment of the room I was in but from years ago! I saw my dad working on something and I knew it was him! He had the same quirk as me” his voice got a little shakey “And my mom walked into the room but it was the past her, and I got startled because she said ‘Bei, come have some dinner’ and my dad looked up and said ‘coming!’. Iwa, I was named after him! My mom never talked about him to me, not even a picture!”

“Why would she hide pictures of your dad?” I raised suspicion “He’s your dad!”

“I thought that was weird too! But then the connection of that moment fizzled away, so I kept working on this until the images lasted longer and in better quality” Beizu looked into my eyes “I want to know the truth about my dad, I always felt a part of me was missing growing up. I’m not saying my mom is a liar but maybe this is something that needs to be confronted?”

I’ve never seen him so determined like this, it gave me courage to help him “I’ll help you in any way I can!” I put my hand on top of the cube “So how does it work?”

“I just press the button here and the hologram shows up” Beizu refocused back to the cube “I’m not sure how far back it goes, maybe to when we weren’t born yet?”

“Only one way to find out!” I said as I slammed my finger down on the button “YEET!” I saw the garden around us disappear except for this one tree and it stunned me.

“Wow this whole field area was so...boring and plain looking” said Beizu, looking around.

I scanned the area and caught sight of someone sitting at the roots of the tree “Who is that?” I took a closer look and saw it was two people “Oh, it looks like they’re having lunch?”

“What are they saying?” Beizu asked as he got silent to listen in and I did the same.

“...You didn’t have to make me anything!”

“I insist!...All just for you!”

“Why do they sound...familiar?” I said to myself as I clocked the voices but not the faces.

“Oh my god it’s like I’m back home!...”

“...I just wanted to do something nice for you, you bring me peace during these scary times.”

“Ooh! It’s one of those lunches!” Beizu commented “Gosh I wish I knew what year this was!”

“Shh! I want to hear what the guy is saying” I shushed, straining to hear.

“...And honestly, I haven’t felt like that since I got here but you helped me remind myself of the one thing that defines me. Thank you Iida-san.”

“Call me Tenya.”

“Ok then, Tenya, thank you for making me feel cherished and myself again.”

“No, thank you Ita!”

I went pale “Those...those are my parents?!” the moment I said that, the image fizzled and the garden reappeared.

“Ahhh! I can’t believe it!” squealed Beizu “We glanced at the beginning of your parent’s love story! This has to be like, what, 27 years ago?”

“Maybe? I don’t know” I was still in shock “she looked so small compared to him! But she looks different than I expected.”

“What do you mean?”

“Like, she looks...sad and shy” I said with concern “What happened to her? She doesn’t give off that sassy and cool energy like everyone tells me, I want to give her a hug and wrap her in a blanket!”

“Well, she was with your dad” Beizu commented “maybe she was dropping the act because she’s comfortable around him? He did make her lunch.”

“Hmmm, I don’t know what to think” I pondered “but that was quite the trial run! Maybe tweak it so we can see into different times? Like adding a clock we can set to a certain date to look at?”

“Ooh! I know what to do!” Beizu took out his phone to record himself “note to self: add a calendar setting to the cube.”

That scene of my parents fucked me up harder than I thought once I got home. Looking at my dad and how truly committed he is to my mom. 27-ish years and going strong! Wonder what’s that secret formula. But on the other hand, why was my mom so sad in the past? And what ‘healed’ her? And why is Beizu being held back information about his dad? Somethings not adding up, hopefully it’s not a mess of other interconnected shit...the fuck you think this is? A shonen manga?!

-Chapter 3, End-

<Previous - Next>

[hale-of-stiles-heart]

🚗☕️🎶

Charlie, you’re a prince among men. What more can I say? Other than this was originally gonna be longer but I figured I better cut it off for now and come back later for more installments. (also on ao3!)

Dean would never understand how Sam could drink all those fancy, over-complicated, hoity-toity iced coffees and skinny lattes or whatever the hell they were called.

The damn things cost like seven bucks for a small, or 'tall' at those pretentious coffee shops Sam liked to frequent. That money could be used for much better, more important things like gassing up the Impala or a nice freshly baked pie.

And every time Dean had humored his little brother and tried the douchey hipster drinks, they had tasted absolutely awful. Like someone had dumped a whole container of ground cinnamon in some too weak coffee then tossed in some kind of almond skim milk that was basically just water.

They were just plain gross. Why they were such a hit with almost everybody else on the face of the earth would forever be a mystery to him. What was wrong with regular coffee?

Despite his moral objections to the frilly, overly expensive drinks it was his turn to fetch coffee for all the guys, and girls, at the garage which happened to include Sam that day. Still working on getting his bachelor's degree before transferring to Stanford for law school, Sam had decided to work on his essay for his gen-ed history class at the garage.

They had been rather busy that day, at least busier than usual with a few new clients coming in for the first time. While he, Bobby, and John had been restoring a 1969 Camaro, Benny and Jo had been working on fixing up an obnoxiously bright red Porsche that had gotten its brake lines cut, its extensive paint job all keyed up, and its headlights smashed.

It was like something out of a Carrie Underwood song, Garth had informed them with a bright laugh. He was the newest addition to the garage, helping Charlie out with the financials and the brand new website that she had assured them would bring in new customers.

Around two o'clock, Bobby announced that it was break time and they could all use some coffee, checking the handwritten schedule on the wall to see whose turn it was to make the run. It was Dean's of course, making him groan when Sam had requested some coffee himself, immediately rattling off some ridiculous order that Dean had to jot down on an old McDonald's napkin he found lying around on a cluttered desk in the virtually unused office.

Not wanting to forget anyone else's order like he had the first time it had been his turn, still remembering the pout Charlie had given him, he scribbled the rest down. With a stiff salute that only Charlie returned, Dean was off, walking down the block to the best local coffee shop around, the Birds and the Beans.

It was a popular spot for locals due to its large variety and high quality of coffee along with its affordability, their prices nearly half of what larger chains like Starbucks charged. Its cozy, inviting atmosphere didn't hurt either.

Inside, it had brick walls covered in chalkboards advertising specials and new varieties, warm lighting giving it a homey feel. Unlike most cafes and coffee shops, they encouraged people to stay for long periods of time, the place filled with comfy couches and armchairs

On top of that, along with the myriad types of coffee it served, the coffee shop had a bakery that made everything from coffee cake muffins to cannoli to a dozen different kinds of pie, sold both by the slice and whole. It was because of that fact that Dean had become a loyal customer after the coffee shop opened about three or four months prior.

The others at the garage seemed to enjoy it too, evident by the fact that most days when they took their lunch break they ordered the freshly made sandwiches the coffee shop offered. Other times, they would just purchase a dozen or so donuts for lunch, lauding the fried treat the best they had ever had, even Sam who was apparently a vegetarian now.

Usually, the Birds and the Beans had a lull in customers around two, which made it perfect for the garage's lunch, but when Dean walked in it was to find a line. The bell on the door rang cheerfully as he took his place in line behind five others, four guys and a young woman.

All five of them looked like poster boys, and poster girl, for the word 'hipster' in their flannels and ironic t-shirts and nonprescription glasses. The guy immediately in front of Dean was wearing three scarves, in late summer.

He bet at least three of them were there for the sole purpose of writing their screenplays in front of everyone just so they could brag about the fact that they were writing screenplays. And he would put actual money on it that all three hypothetical screenplays would be full of mansplaining, manic pixie dream girls, and complaints about being straight cis white cubes.

Discreetly rolling his eyes, Dean tapped his foot and hummed Metallica under his breath as he waited for the line to move along. He just barely managed not to roll his eyes when he overheard the douche at the front of the line order some kind of latte with ten pumps of vanilla.

Seriously, who needed ten pumps of vanilla? A douchebag, that's who.

Still humming, he curiously peered over the shoulders of the people in front of him in line at the people bustling around like busy bumblebees behind the counter to see who was working. After months of being a regular, he knew everyone who worked there pretty well, save for a few employees that worked either earlier or later shifts.

He recognized Balthazar, a blonde with a smarmy British accent despite the fact that he claimed to be French, leaning over the top of the bakery display case. He was chatting up two women who seemed to be debating whether or not to order any pastries, gesturing at a plate of chocolate strawberry scones as Balthazar flashed a charming smirk at them.

Kevin, a college student who worked there part-time to help support himself and his mother, was behind the counter making drinks. His shoulders were hunched as he methodically counted out ten pumps of vanilla.

Dean didn't refrain from rolling his eyes that time. He still couldn't wrap his head around the fact the guy had seriously asked for ten pumps.

Gabriel, one of the owners of the coffee shop, was nowhere to be seen which was unusual for the time of day. Gabe usually preferred working after noon, claiming that he enjoyed sleeping in too much to wake up before ten o'clock.

Dean shrugged, not paying any mind to his absence, sure that he was probably out causing mischief somewhere else. The dude was like a leprechaun without the pot of gold, delighting in screwing with people for the hell of it. Dean guessed it was some kind of Napoleon complex thing.

Instead, in Gabriel's usual spot behind the counter, was a dark haired man that Dean had never seen before. His head was down as he rung up the dude that had asked for ten pumps of vanilla so Dean couldn't see his face.

When he looked up to hand Mr. Ten Pumps his change, Dean's breath caught in his throat. The dude was gorgeous.

Even at a distance, he could see that the man had brilliant blue eyes and full pink lips that looked a little chapped. Dean idly wondered if he chewed on them a lot.

His cheeks and jaw were covered in dark stubble, giving him that hint of ruggedness that made him just that much more attractive. His hair, a stygian black, was disheveled and windblown, looking fluffy and soft.

He was wearing the nondescript brown Birds and the Beans apron over a white button up, the sleeves uncuffed and rolled up to the elbow. The rolled up sleeves proudly showcased tattoos on his wiry forearms lightly dusted with dark hair.

There was a colorful burst of flowers on the inside of his left forearm, vivid blues and purples complemented by deep reds and shades of green. The other arm bore a darker landscape of bare trees rising up like dark veins from a thick black band encircling his right wrist.

His white button up was slightly unbuttoned, showing off a hint of collarbone and part of another tattoo that Dean couldn't make out from so far away. He wondered if he had any other tattoos, maybe more colorful ones like the flowers on his arm.

Dean's shameless staring was interrupted by the buzzing of his cell phone in his pocket which tore his focus away from the simultaneously cute and hot barista. Tugging his phone of his pocket, he checked his messages to find a text from Charlie: What's taking so long? Sooooo thirsty!

Smiling fondly at his friend's excessive use of the letter o, he sent back a text explaining that there was a long line, promising her one of her favorite cream filled donuts for her patience. She eloquently responded a nanosecond later with several rows of heart emojis, Dean reading her approval of the suggestion loud and clear.

Tucking his phone back into his pocket, he resumed his absentminded humming and refocused his attention on the bakery display case. He hoped there would still be some pies left by the time the garage closed for the day, their caramel honey apple pie with brown sugar streusel was the best thing he had ever eaten. Not that he would ever tell his mother because it would break her heart.

He was so lost in daydreaming about pie that he barely realized that it was his turn to order. The barista's observation was the only thing that pulled his mind away from Pieland as he commented, "Metallica. Sweet Amber, right?"

"Uh, y-yeah..." Dean answered, his words stunted by surprise, having forgotten where he was for a moment. He scratched the back of his neck as he pulled the list he had written out of his back pocket, wincing when he noticed the way that the cute barista's brows raised a fraction when he saw the length of the list. Dean was glad that there was no one behind him in line.

Trying not to look like a complete idiot, Dean glanced down at the list he had written, cursing the sloppiness of it. Stuttering over the excessively long order, he put on a brave face and began, "I need a-a iced, half-caf...ristretto? Uh, venti or large, I guess, since you guys have normal sizes. Four pu—"

"My apologies for interrupting but would this drink happen to be for someone named Sam?" The barista inquired, thankfully cutting Dean off before he could embarrass himself any further, his voice all honey and gravel. It was the sweetest sound Dean had ever heard, downright heavenly if he had to use a word.

Dean glanced up at the barista, valiantly trying not to blush at his surprisingly soothing voice, wondering where all of his suave confidence had gone. Rubbing the back of his neck, he tensed when the barista's words sunk in, very cautiously nodding and confirming, "Um, yeah... How'd you know?"

"He comes in here a few times a week. It's his usual order," the barista explained, a placating smile on his face as he grabbed a twenty ounce to-go cup. Pulling a Sharpie that Dean hadn't noticed in his earlier ogling from out from behind his ear, he wrote Sam's name on the side of it. "Large iced half-caf ristretto, four pump, cinnamon, Dolce soy skinny latte."

"Wow. Impressive," Dean commented with a low whistle, shifting around awkwardly as he tried not to make it obvious how much the barista's voice was affecting him. It was a really nice voice, okay?

Hoping to get through the rest of the list as painlessly as possible for everyone involved, he quickly tumbled through it just as fast as the barista could punch keys on the cash register and scribble names on cups. He felt like a bit of a jerk for having such a long order but the barista seemed to take it in stride, making him wonder if he had taken orders for the guys at the garage before.

They were all pretty regular with their orders which probably made it a little easier. Both Dean and his dad took their coffee black, Bobby and Benny both added a splash of cream and some sugar to theirs, Charlie was a sucker for caramel macchiatos, Garth always requested some variant of weird hippie tea, and of course, Sam took his four pump ristretto monstrosity.

With Charlie's special donut added on, the total came out to just a little over twenty bucks. That was just yet another reason that Dean loved the Birds and the Beans: it was affordable.

He handed over some cash, dropping his change in the little glass jar labeled 'tips' that had little drawings of bees doodled all over it. Waiting patiently, he moved further down the counter, watching as the barista started prepping to-go cups after informing Kevin that they would split the drink making since no one else was in line.

"So, uh..." Dean started, recognizing a chance for some lighthearted flirting when he saw one, trailing off when he realized that he still didn't know the barista's name. Rising up on the tips of his toes, he took a curious peek at the nametag pinned on the barista's apron.

He furrowed his brow when he saw the name he saw laser printed in black: Castiel. What kind of name was that? French?

Anyway, he was reluctant to mispronounce it and look like a jerk so he found a way around it. Setting his hands on the edge of the counter, he looked at the tattoo of flowers on the barista's arm and inquired, "So, Cas, that's a nice tattoo. It's from the Bible or something, right?"

Upon closer inspection, he could see that the colorful flowers, revealed to be a collection of roses and irises and lilies along with various other blooms, provided a stunning backsplash to a banner. Scrawled across it in an elegant black font were the words: Under his wings you will find refuge.

Castiel paused, glancing up at Dean with his eyebrows furrowed, eyes narrowed, probably at the nickname Dean had just given him. Shifting his gaze to the tattoo that graced his own arm, he continued his work, succinctly explaining, "Yes. It's Psalm 91:4."

"Cool," Dean said for lack of anything else to say, pursing his lips and stuffing his hands in his pockets as he waited patiently. Not knowing what else to do, he occupied himself with watching Castiel's hands as he made Charlie's macchiato, watching the familiar way he handled the coffee machines and various other equipment.

His fingers were long and adroit, full of finesse and careful precision, elegance in every movement. He somehow made it look like art as he drizzled caramel sauce on top of the foam. Caramel macchiatos had never looked so good.

Garth's weird, New Age tea was next, this time mango and passion fruit with bits of edible flower petals tossed in because why not? It ended up being a vibrant orange-ish yellow like a tropical sunset, purple petals floating around ice dudes.

He was a little bit disappointed when Castiel started on Sam's drink, informing Dean that his visit would be over soon and he would be going back to work, looking at beat up engines and flat tires instead of the handsome barista in front of him. But all good things had to come to an end at some point, right?

"Balthazar!" Castiel's voice called, breaking Dean out of his thoughts. It also apparently interrupted Balthazar's flirtatious chat with the women still lingering by the display case. "Could you please grab me a cream filled donut? And the bag I told you about earlier?"

"For you, Cassie, anything," Balthazar returned with a wink and a dramatic bow, holding his arms out at his sides. Turning back to the women, he claimed, "Excuse me, my darlings, but duty calls."

He disappeared through the doorway that led to the kitchen, returning a moment later with a brown paper bag in his hand, the top rolled up and secured with a clothespin. Reaching into the display case with a piece of wax paper, he grabbed a donut and slipped it into a small plastic carrying bag.

He carried both over to Castiel them down on the counter before turning on his heel and returning to his conversation with the two women. Castiel quickly finished putting lids on the to-go cups as Kevin carried over the four other coffees, already in a carrier which Dean realized presented a major problem.

Carrying seven drinks in two carriers along with a donut wasn't going to be very easy. He abruptly realized that he should have made Sam go with him, or at the very least driven his car instead of walking.

He chewed his lip as he tried to come up with a solution, figuring that he could probably balance once carrier on top of the other and just walk very slowly and very carefully back to the garage. Just as he was about to veto that plan and come up with a way to make two tips, Castiel turned to Kevin and suggested, "How about you take your half hour and help...Dean, I believe, carry all this back? I'll give you another break in a few hours."

"Really?" Kevin asked, already reaching over to grab one of the carriers. A bright smile stretched across his face. "You're the best, man."

"Oh, and this is for you," Castiel tacked on, handing Dean the paper bag that was heavier than it looked, clearly chock full of something. At Dean's thoroughly confused look, he clarified, "You work at Bobby Singer's garage, correct?—" Dean nodded "—Well, our baker's been experimenting with some new products and we'd like you, and the others at the garage, to be our taste testers. If that's alright."

"Hell yeah, it is," Dean answered automatically. "What is it?"

"Donut holes," Castiel replied. He tipped his head to the side as he listed off flavors. "There's a cinnamon apple caramel, banana bread, and s'mores."

Dean whistled again as he set the paper bag on the carrier Kevin held. Beaming at Castiel, he announced, "You're an angel, Cas."

The blush that lit up Castiel's face had Dean smiling for the rest of the day.

Send me random emojis for a Destiel drabble!

[thecosmiccuttlefish]

March 14th 2017

0621: I had trouble getting to sleep last night. A quirky nurse came in to draw blood. She’s was blonde m, wore a blue camo shirt and spoke in a sing songy voice. She told me “Here, just put the covers over your eyes.” In order to block out the light, and asked if I danced. “No? It must be someone else.” But she was really good at drawing blood. I barley felt it. So I’ll give her that.

0636: 50 something nurse came in.   50 something nurse asked: “Did the lab come?”, referring to blood work, and in my case the quirky nurse. She took my heart rate and blood pressure lying then standing (after standing for two minutes). After I asked to go to the bathroom, and disconnect my heart monitor (three small cords red, white, and black) she told me to change into the hospital gown because she was going to weigh me. That’s new. After I was weighed it was back into my pyjamas and off to bed after a temperature check.

“Are you feeling worse this morning?” 50 something nurse asks me with a thermometer in my mouth. I smile and shake my head. “I’m just like a dentist.” She said. “Asking questions with a mouth open.” Does she mean closed?

She also told me that my heart rate drastically improved. Up to 38bmp as my low. I should be out of the hospital soon. But, I’m trying not to think about that. Numbers and the rest. I’m just focusing on what I need right now. More sleep.

1113: So, mum came around 9am. I went to breakfast with her in the very classy “Teen Lounge” down the all. Are they waning me off of food? I had oatmeal, some gargantuan genetically modified banana, and under the green dome of destiny was toast. That’s all. I had peanut butter, let the marmalade rot, sped up it’s abandonment by the power of  eating disorder. My mum was sure my heart rate was 35bpm at night and announced it when she woke me from my slumber. “Your heart rate is still low. 35.” Turns out she just saw that on a monitor somewhere. Nurse L confirmed that it was 38. Why you always gotta go react like that mum?

“Was she weighed?” Said mum.

“Yes…” Said nurse L.

“I’d rather not know.“ I interjected. “Because, with eating disorders..”

~I feel that air of electricity when I begin to talk about eating disorders like some secret cult that I am privy to and understand and others want to learn about. I sense attention and interest. Performers instinct?~

“Because with eating disorders you get competitive. Oh my heart rate was that, I need to get it back there. Oh, that’s my weight. I can beat that. So, I’d rather not focus on numbers and focus instead on what I need to do to recover” I looked down, nodded my head.

They understood. Mum would find out my weight later.

Mum also said, to the nurse that she felt my calorie intake could be bumped a bit.

“I don’t know how much she’s eating now.” Mum said in her pleasant ethereal voice. My dad has this weird voice he uses when he talks to people with an accent. My sister and I point out to each other by saying “I smell popcorn. Do you smell popcorn?” Be it with a Mexican butler, a Chinese grandpa, He enunciates his words and laughs a little too much. “Oh! Ho-ho! Okay! Haha!” My mum has a great way of getting whatever she wants when it comes to hotels and services. She sometimes speaks very pleasantly, in a slightly higher voice than normal. With pleasant inclinations of inquiry where she might cock her head to the side. “I don’t know how much she’s eating now.”

“Um. She’s on a 1700 calorie diet.” Said the nurse.

So much for numbers.

Then I had a shower. My cold is still pretty nasty, so I tried to steam the sick away.

Then mum left, I maximized walking time by going back and forth to the sink.

First by getting my tooth brush and tooth paste, walking to the sink and brushing,

Then walking back getting my retainers and the retainer case, walking to the sink brushing them and putting them away.

Then walking back to tuck my retainers away and get my hair brush, walking to the sink and brushing my tangled hair. The hospital baby shampoo isn’t stellar.

A nurse with pink pants came in at some point and told me to buzz her when I wanted the leads on.

THEN FINALLY I walked back, put my brush away, and went to the washroom, then sat on my bed.

Finally, a new girl named came in. Her name was Stephanie and she painted, and now I’ve just been typing.

1137: Grammy came in, I’m going to hang out with her now.

1231: So Grammy and I went to the game room. I called a nurse to check if it was okay that I was un-tethered. “Oh you don’t need to do that” Said Gammy. “The nurses are busy.” But I was insane and did it anyways. Nurse L said it was alright. She got me some lovely water with ice and Grammy and I played checkers. I beat her once, then she crushed me. I ate all my foods.

Here’s the menu, transcribed by me:

Lunch

TUE 03/14/17

1X 2% Milk

1X Seasonal Fresh Fruit

1X Egg Salad SW

1X Creamy Coleslaw

1X Minestrone Soup

Notes about the above.

*The milk actually takes up about a 1/3rd of a small glass and it comes with a plastic lid.

*I think I’m going to start a world wide petition to stop fruit from being unfairly labeled “Seasonal” and/or “Fresh” The fruit I received had obviously been canned for some mysterious amount of time. It was all diced and cubed and had some bright pink marachino cherry bits, so really, it was about as fresh as a loaf of bread salvaged from the nuclear apocalypse sponsored by corn syrup. Also, what season? It’s spring here. Barley. The only fruit that’s growing in this climate is Apple’s stocks. Let’s do everyone a solid and stop lying to ourselves. Call it “Fruit” or put a series of question marks “???” Anything is better than deceitful adjectives.

We talked a bit about her family. She is great at telling stories from years passed, she loves it. “My sister and I often ask ourselves, why is it that we don’t smoke? After all these years, even though our parents did! Well, we always come up with the same answer.” “The dirty ash trays-” “That’s right! The dirty ash trays.” I’ve heard that story like three times but she always has fun telling it.

We talked about how sick I was. She showed me some pictures of me on her phone. She has such a great archive,How I smelt weird when I first came back, Ketonic? Was the word?

She walked me back to the room, I put my tray down, I went to the bathroom, she waited for me, Then she gave me her tic-tacs for her sinuses and left. I love her.

1246: Nurse L walked in. She is stealthy. You can’t hear her coming. It’s like she’s five and travels along her parents wood floors using fluffy socks. One more reason not to workout. I wasn’t going to anyways, GEEZ!

1251: RECOVERY THOUGHT: I never asked myself when I had enough exercise. I thought that was weakness. To truly enjoy yourself you must listen to your body, and what you want. Never be ashamed of that. Ladeeda.

1325: Okay, so Dr. Patooti came in and we talked for a bit. She suggested I talk to Psychologist #2. For continuity. My weight it actually down a bit. She asked if I felt my calorie intake should be upped. I could feel my eyes practically widen in their sockets. “My mum is bringing extra snacks today.” No need for that increase thank you. Then she asked how my Chinese was going. We talked for a while about how she has trouble pronouncing her V’s and W’s. She pulled back the tacky blinds and pointed to the window. “I used to call the a Vindow!” Das’ cool.

Still no exercise. Nurse L came and hooked me up to the heart monitor again. 

In other news, I haven’t worn a bra in like three days because who am I trying to impress? Very floopy and nice. Yes.

1518: Or, 3:18pm. Anyways. I got accepted to this university program I was looking forward to. This is good and exciting and yes. It’s a very small university. Guarantee you’ve never heard of it unless you live close to where I am. It’s a two year program. It seems so long to commit, but I suppose it really isn’t when you think about… I don’t know. All of junior, middle and high school. I can do this. No worries, and time is just going to speed up right?

Anyways, I saw this exciting announcement in my email after sitting down. I was standing you see because I allowed myself 15 minutes of stretching. It was only 33% disordered. The disordered bits of it are listed below:

It was timed, which is only a little bit of a problem. I need to know how long I’m stretching somehow. The disordered part is the feeling that I can’t stop until it’s done.

I added 48 seconds to the timer. Because I need to buffer any time I might be messing around and not stretching.

Every time I had to stop, like when the eating disorder clinic gave me a call (ironically) I added a minute to my time to make up for the time, and the time I’ll need to get back into the flow.

Gentle stretching turned into isometric yoga poses.

But there, then basically I sat down to check for the email the ED person said she sent me. I didn’t see that email, but I did see the acceptance letter and that was very exciting indeed. So that’s something to talk about with mum when she comes for dinner in about an hour or so.

The day just flys by!

1545: Okay, so I’m just listening to some chill millennial music, and  I’m feelin very work out ish. But I can’t think about the urge too much. It fuels it. I’ll make a plan. So, I’ll get up, go to the washroom. Study Chinese, then stretch for another 15min. That seems alright. Maybe a guided you tube stretch? It’s a pretty good alternative. Okay, go.

1750: So mum came by, and UG. UG! I ate a vegan brownie, because mum wanted me to. And two of those little greek rice wrap things and now I want to exercise, so this is where Netflix comes in. I feel on the verge of crying. Not really, but it’s in there somewhere.

She came in, I was coming out of the bathroom around 1614 after doing a hundred high knees and 25 squat jacks and she said “What were you doing in there?”

I told her.

“Naughtyyyy”

Then she revealed some presents she brought me. One of those 99 things to do when you have time that have artsy fill-it-in-yourself pages. She was looking at me very lovingly. We talked for a bit. I found out my neighbor, Emily is a model. She eats everything too!

I can get past this anxiety. Stop trying to rationalize it.

We played connect four. I won one. We tied, I think she won one. Then checkers. I was doing pretty well. Then not so well. She made a lip sound. “Shut up!!” I cried. “Margoo. Don’t get upset about a little game of checkers.” I double jumped her twice, but left myself venerable. She double jumped me.

“One little lapse my dear.” Said she.

She plugged me in, which is the modern day version of tucking me in, and then left.

I love her.

1817: I started doing squats, but the good news is Stephanie is right across from me. and that looks weird so I stopped. I’m kind of depressed. I think I want to curl up.

I’m going to watch a terrible sitcom.

1946: So, I did good things. I talked with my mum about how I was feeling, I realized that my thoughts are just thoughts not threats and I managed to feed myself. My mum watched through video chat. To be honest, I’m sort of jealous of Stephanie across from me. She hasn’t been on a computer once. She’s just painting… I want to be like her. That’s the life. Anyways… what else. I’ll go off my computer till 9pm. Or 2100 in this weird 24 hour journal I’ve got going here. Keeping tabs on my dad has made me realize how many small details are forgotten if you let it slip your mind. So… what’s the plan… Put the hummus away. Stretch for another 15min. Keep it light. Then work on Chinese. Finish the documentary. It’s good. It opens my eyes. It makes me want to help the world. Makes me think the university program I’m going into is for me. So ya, I’ll put down a deposit. Maybe I’ll fill out the form first. Then hummus, then stretching, then Chinese, then documentary, then writing, then bedtime. Good plan!

It’s funny. I’m putting away the hummus and pita… but I really want to eat it all too. I really want to stuff myself. But no no. Eat intuitively. C ya pals. Can you tell I’m getting more tired? My writing is getting more sloppy.

2152: What started as stretches turned to resetting the timer and doing lots of spider man’s and things. Awful terrible. My parents are becoming more and more convinced they need to hire someone. HIRE SOMEONE! At home. It’s awful! Humiliating. Terrible. Incredibly tumultous. I hate it. Stop. Please god stop. Please god stop please god please please please please please please please please please please. I was Facetiming with my mum, after sending her the two texts in regards to not exercising, or acting on my latest obsession to make myself sweat!:

#1“Failing.”

#2 “Faillling”

And she said psychologist #1 sent an email and cc’d me in it. Lies. I asked her to forward it to me. I don’t think I was meant to read it. It was basically talking about getting help. Here are some prime excerpts: 

Dad:

.…She clearly needs close supervision as someone needs to sit with her for all meals and supervise her or else she will be exercising….my wife and I need a break of a break with this…I would like to hire someone to be with her in the house when we go to work.  I don’t see Margo going back to work herself anytime soon….

Psychologist #1

….I realize that she has been trying very hard to defeat the eating disorder and associated urges but right now she is not anywhere near having enough self-control and has put herself in danger hence the hospitalization to buy time….The few days in hospital will not have helped at all if she goes back to exercising (which I understand she was doing on the ward yesterday). So, if she is going home in the next few days, I expect her to complain but accept that she is going to have someone with her (at considerable expense to the family, which she needs to appreciate, and which I think she does appreciate)…until the day when she can manage the urges on her own. If she chooses to fight this logic, I would bring her back to the notion that someone with an addiction is not left alone in a room with a line of coke or a bottle of gin and someone with suicidal urges is not left alone with a gun….

ARGGGGG NO! AWFUL! TERRIBLE! I guess I should just freakin’ accept it. Or start lying about my exercise so they stop FUH-REAKIN’ out!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.A

I’d exercise right now but I’m scared that they’ll pick it up on my heart monitor but I am so angry I don’t care, and am going to do an angry pyramid anyways. No! Maybe I should write an ukelele song instead? Channel it into more constructive ways?

2218: Okay, I’ve decided to not think about it till the morning. Sort of put mental blinders on the whole thing. I know I’ll feel better in the morning.

2315: Skyler, a lovely nurse who I'm growing more fond of and talked to me when I was super anxious came and took my vitals. It's my favourite part of the night because I find the stethoscope relaxing. Gentle touching is nice, not to sound creepy. Then, because I'm still angry and feel like hating myself, watched vines on YouTube till I heard poor Stephanie rolling around. Someone who paints and reads can't be offended. She's untaintable. I hope I feel calmer in the morning. I don't want to go back to this eating disorder. This fear filled hell pit. It's awful. That was my March 14th 2017 Good talking to you.