#or mental health expert or even a medical doctor

[bellamygate]

idk if anyone has had the balls to say it yet and im def not the one to put it eloquently as it deserves but im seeing some uneasy & alarming trends surfacing in the manifestation & self-help community that look like cult indoctrination

[cheemscakecat]

Why Emesis Blue Medic should be taken off the Gravel War Battlefield.

My overall Em Blue theory is that it’s a shared nightmare, so keep that in mind for this post.

So we know Dr Ludwig has been diagnosed with Schizophrenia by somebody at BLU. The reason we know this is because he gave Scout the same medicine that he’s been taking, which you wouldn’t do if you had two different issues going on.

If you were Scout and your doctor friend was addicted to this medicine, you wouldn’t want to get addicted yourself. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if Scout theorizes that the medicine is part of the problem.

So here’s my theory on what mental health problem is plaguing BLU Medic:

Because he was roughly 6 when the N*zis took power in 1933 and Jewish, Fritz had a lot of trauma from a young age. He developed DID, formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder [it can only develop from childhood trauma]. His parents and doctors were limited in what they could do because of the state of the country; they also thought his hallucinations of other personalities were imaginary friends.

When he escaped to America as an adult, he decided to join BLU in the hopes that other mercenaries would be willing to go fight against Germany in the war. But then the first respawn failures happened, and he got roped into being an “expert” on the issue.

Spy’s Disguise gave us a brief window into what was happening to the doctor during the respawn crisis.

He hasn’t been sleeping well. He’s got an exposed cut on his face, a five o’clock shadow, and bags under his eyes.

He didn’t speak or blink for any of the scenes he was in, which was off putting to Engineer. He even showed them what was wrong using a VHS, not his words.

Overall, he seems aloof and unapproachable, which is different to how he acted in Em Blue.

We know Jules Archibald must be a hack since Soldier and Spy had a nightmare where he’s callously letting people die for money. If he’s too posh to defend himself like he was in Spy’s perspective, he’s got to be too posh to deal with respawn failure gore.

But that wouldn’t stop him and his crew from holding Medic to a high standard when it came to his work, even if they didn't really want to spend money to fix the problem. I imagine the Administrator was the one that had to “motivate” them to allocate funds, and it would take her a while to get fed up.

So in the meantime, Ludwig developed a new, scarier personality to help him deal with Jules and new respawn failure trauma.

He was the one in control when CyberSpy was examined, and when he was given the bad news about his condition.

We know the doctor still doesn't understand his condition because of the nightmare versions of his other personalities.

This is the nightmare version of the unblinking, mute personality from the funeral. But he’s not the only personality that Fritz is afraid of.

This hallucination gives us more insight into how the doctor views his other personalities. 1. They are trying to trick him and other people. Whichever one this nightmare is based off of is good at pretending to be him.

2. They hate him. He woke up with blood on his hands and no memory of why. The nightmare got angry that he tried to wash the blood off himself. It didn’t hesitate to hurt him.

3. They love violence, and they want to hurt him. This one choked him out and slammed his head into the mirror. And again, he woke up with blood on his hands.

Him unknowingly killing Scout’s Ma and kidnapping the poor guy happened because he’s afraid that these personalities want to do that. He’s afraid that they’re plotting something and biding their time, Em Blue is the manifestation of what he thinks they’re up to.

The plague doctor was reaching towards him like it was going to be fake nice, despite all of its terrifying features. He thinks that one is trying to lull him into a false sense of security.

He’s wrong about them, and we have proof. We have the actual personality that the mirror monster is based off of, and a long scene with him in control.

This is the personality that developed to deal with RED mercs on the battlefield. That’s why he’s so good at fighting and acts so terrifying.

Now imagine for a moment that you black out during a fight, and when you come to your team is freaking out over you. They say you started beating the RED team senseless, with a terrifying grin that nobody has seen from you before. You don’t remember any of it, and unfortunately it’s only the first of many times this will happen.

That’s Dr Ludwig’s perspective. He doesn’t know what they want. He doesn’t know what they are or how to get rid of them. They keep appearing in the corner of his office or his room, if you watch him talk to Scout in his MedBay, he keeps looking around like he expects another person to be there. He just wants it to stop, so he starts relying on Valium as a crutch.

The bottle reveal is an interesting scene to me, because Emesis Diazepam horrifies the doctor. It must be something he knows is dangerous, and he’d never take knowingly.

Here are some symptoms of long term Valium/Diazepam abuse

Persistent drowsiness

Confusion

Memory loss

Fatigue

Dizziness

Blood in urine/feces

Depression

Anxiety

Tremors

Sleeping problems

Nightmares

Hallucinations

Seizures

Here are the overdose symptoms:

Coma [can still breathe]

Bluish lips and fingernails

Blurred/double vision

Slowed/stopped breathing

Confusion

Depression

Dizziness

Drowsiness

Excitability

Hiccups

Rapid eye movement

Rash

Stomach is upset/pained

Tiredness

Tremors

Uncoordinated movement and weakness

I think the bottle reveal is meant to be a wake up call about the Valium addiction. Maybe the other personalities know he should stop taking it, we do see the quiet one standing behind him afterwards.

DID personalities develop to protect a person from their trauma and keep them safe. Sometimes these personalities can be dangerous because they believe that they are demons, evil, or that destroying the host body will just send them back to their own. People wake up parked on bridges and in other odd places because another personality took control then switched back.

But in every scene where we get to see the others in control, they appear to be trying to help Fritz, not make things worse. The quiet one was trying to keep him safe from Spy and the people at BLU that made him a scapegoat. The violent one was attacking the Engineers to try and save both Medic and Scout, and probably tried to take control at Scout’s house so he could deal with BLU Ma’s body instead.

When the ambulance crashed into the telephone pole, that was because the quiet one over exerted himself and blacked out. But remaining parked outside of Scout’s house and waking up may well have happened because of the Valium abuse. The medicine is causing more symptoms that overlap with DID, and exacerbating the distrust that Fritz feels towards the others.

This doesn’t make him a bad guy, he doesn’t know what he’s doing to himself or that the others are trying to help him. The quiet one is terrifying, and seeing him in the corner of your room would get on your nerves. Blacking out and being told about actions you don’t remember doing would be terrifying, and I don’t blame him for assuming the personalities are malicious.

Maybe it would be better for BLU Medic to keep working as BLU since it’s become home, but not as a battle Medic. First he needs to reconcile with the others and understand what they are trying to do. Then they need to work together to decide whether he should retire or stay at the familiar base. But he’s having too many issues to be fighting other mercenaries.

The Spies and RED Medic that looks exactly like him are just going to confuse matters more, whether they know it or not. They gotta get another BLU Medic to fight on the field, this can’t go on.

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Justin Horowitz at MMFA:

Viral TikTok videos are falsely linking birth control to infertility and describing the medication as “absolutely poison,” while others make generalizations about side effects and suggest the pill tricks women’s brains into making them less attracted to “masculinity." A recent report from The Washington Post examined how online birth control misinformation, combined with a lack of transparency about rare side effects from contraception, is causing women to believe misconceptions about the medication. The article says the trend is driven by an “underlying conservative push” by right-wing influencers. [...]

Misinformation about birth control is going viral on TikTok

On TikTok, figures spreading misinformation are leveraging cherry-picked data and anecdotes about negative side effects of the pill to make blanket generalizations about its effects and scare women into believing that birth control — which is safe and effective — is dangerous. In a May 2023 TikTok video with 144,000 views, for example, former Daily Wire host Candace Owens falsely insinuated that birth control causes infertility problems. (Owens has gone on to repeatedly attack birth control and suggest on social media that it is dangerous.)

[...] Making blanket statements about how birth control affects women is misleading — experts say that while there may be an “association” between hormones and some elements of physical attraction, “suggesting that birth control can alter mate preference,” it is difficult to be certain there is a “cause and effect” relationship. Additionally, as The Washington Post noted, many of the studies that influencers point to “have small sample sizes or are otherwise flawed … which can show correlation but not necessarily causation." No medication is perfect, and doctors need to be clear about potential side effects with their patients — the lived experiences of people on birth control are valid, and side effects from these medications vary from person to person. However, influencers on TikTok are leveraging cherry-picked data points and anecdotes about negative side effects from birth control to make blanket generalizations about its effects that are misleading and potentially dangerous. [...]

The Post’s reporting spurred TikTok to delete videos “linking birth control to mental health issues,” among other misleading claims. A TikTok spokesperson confirmed to the Post that some videos the outlet identified violated TikTok’s company policies against “inaccurate, misleading or false content that may cause significant harm to individuals or society." By design, TikTok’s “For You Page” algorithm feeds content to users based on “interests” or “connections” that can make it easier to be pulled into a world of radical content, even if they are not seeking it out. This could lead TikTok users — many of them children — to view and possibly believe medical misinformation from influencers that right-wing figures are exploiting to vilify and fearmonger about birth control.

Birth control misinformation and conspiracy theories are gaining lots of views on TikTok to push right-wing narratives to gin up anti-birth control sentiments.

[allthecanadianpolitics]

Doctors in New Brunswick say forcing LGBTQ students to see a psychologist, as suggested by changes to Policy 713, could create bias and discrimination. The New Brunswick Medical Society made a submission to Child, Youth and Seniors’ Advocate Kelly Lamrock about the new requirement for children under the age of 16 to see a psychologist or school professional if there is an expression related to gender identity or sexual orientation. “One thing I heard from professionals, which is, don’t pathologize the normal questions,” Lamrock said, speaking with reporters on Tuesday. “Saying to a child right away, if you’re questioning your identity, we better get you to a psychologist — if you can even find one — is something that plays into that perception of mental illness which is simply not true.” The submission said “following a comprehensive review of scientific literature, this group of physicians expressed significant concerns regarding the apparent absence of clinical and expert advice regarding the changes made to Policy 713.” “Furthermore, it was stressed that the review directly contradicts international medical recommendations and has the potential to negatively impact children and youth in New Brunswick who are exploring their sexual orientation or gender identity as part of a normal and healthy development process.”

Continue Reading.

Tagging: @politicsofcanada

[em-dash-press]

Tons of Reasons Why Writer's Block Happens

Lately I've seen a few posts on social media platforms being shared that are (supposedly) quotes from well-known authors. The quotes generally stick to the theme of: writer's block isn't real! No worries! It's just in your head!

Like...

That is so unhelpful for me and if I had seen those people (again, supposedly) saying that when I was much younger and newer to writing, I would have thought something was wrong with me.

So here are a few reasons why writer's block IS real for many people and what you can do about it. (Warning—this is a long text post but I tried putting all suggested solutions in bullet points and have lots of resource hyperlinks!)

You Can’t Write Because: You’re Tired

Sleep affects the entire body. There’s no question that when I don’t get enough of it, my brain isn’t working as well as it normally does.

Let’s start this section with what everyone should acknowledge—mental health conditions absolutely prevent people from being able to use tips like Just turn the lights off earlier! or Think calming thoughts while taking deep breaths!

If those work for you, great. Fantastic! But if they don’t, your doctor is the best person to get advice from. They can work through symptoms with you to rule out conditions like depression and insomnia so you get the best help possible.

Besides your mental health, there are a few other ways you might not be able to fall asleep or stay asleep:

You enjoy drinking afternoon coffee (most have a half life of 3-5 hours, so the caffeine doesn’t actually leave your system for a long time!)

You have a diet soda with your lunch or dinner (most diet sodas have the same amount of caffeine as a half cup to a whole cup of coffee)

You eat a midnight snack or a dessert after dinner (the extra digestion works against your body’s circadian rhythm and prevents a normal sleep cycle)

Potential Solutions

Swap your afternoon coffee/sodas for caffeine free sodas instead

Eat high-protein snacks shortly after or during dinner (protein keeps you full longer so you can eat them earlier in the evening)

Follow some tips from sleep experts with the Sleep Foundation

You Can’t Write Because: Your Routine Is Changing/Has Changed

When my life has gone through routine changes, my creativity has always slowed (if not stopped altogether). Switching from high school to college, from college to graduate life, and even from apartment to apartment is a big deal. My writing slows when I change jobs, see my friends less/more often, and even when the holidays come and go.

If you think this might be a repeat experience in your life, my best advice is to give yourself grace. Your brain is only trying to conserve energy and process everything that’s going on. 

Potential Solutions

Resting and gently reattempting to write without expectations of what will come out of that writing session is sometimes the best thing to do until life settles back down.

If you can’t come to peace with changes, I’d suggest talking with someone. You can access help for free at:

7 Cups of Tea (chat with volunteer listeners and professional counselors)

Get in-person or virtual therapy through Open Path ($30-60/session with a one-time membership fee; aims to close the financial gap that keeps people from accessing mental health professionals).

Check out other budget-friendly therapy options recommended by the medical community.

You Can’t Write Because: You’re Grappling With Indecisions

Indecision is a creativity killer for sure. I’ll address a few ways I’ve experienced it and how I know my friends have struggled with it:

You only have a few story ideas and don’t want to commit to any of them in case some idea comes along that’s more interesting (I hate leaving unfinished drafts too!)

You wonder how you should format your story and never start because you can’t decide (it might be the point of view, past/present tense, etc.)

You can’t nail down how a character looks, what sets them apart, what drives them.

You can’t decide on a theme because there’s so much you want to write about.

You don’t know how long the story should be, so it never starts.

Potential Solutions

Try new things to come to peace with unfinished drafts (I have a folder on my computer specifically labeled “Unfinished Stories” because I’m more comfortable when they have a home).

Practice writing one page within your story’s world from a different point of view or tense. See what feels most natural or authentic to you.

Do character research by looking at pictures of people on stock photo websites or Pinterest.

Story length is often found after someone just starts writing. You’ll naturally find a rhythm and come to a conclusion at the right length for your first draft. Revise/add if needed!

My most important tip might be—

Give your gut 24 hours (go with your gut on whatever you’re trying to decide, then set your work down. Come back in 24 hours to see if you feel as strongly about your creative decision).

You Can’t Write Because: You’ve Got Too Many Ideas

When there are too many creative ideas in your brain, it leads to anxiety and potential writer’s block. I know I’ve had the fear that I’ll commit to the “wrong” story and another one will come to life in my mind, but then be gone by the time I’m ready to write it.

Potential Solutions

Write all of your ideas down in a list (bold, highlight, or star whichever ones seem super promising at the time so they stand out when you’re ready for a new project)

Try stream of consciousness journaling for 30 seconds (set a timer! Whatever you write will reveal with emotions/thoughts/issues are on your mind and may create stronger stories with similar themes)

Write 500 words of a story idea (or another number you’re comfortable with; if you don’t like what you write, you know you can move onto the next idea).

Flip a coin (assign one idea heads and the other tails—then flip a coin or use a coin flip generator).

Number your ideas and use a random number generator to pick one for you.

You Can’t Write Because: You’re Not Eating a Brain-Supporting Diet

I’m not here to tell anyone how to structure their diet. Everyone’s body is different and what you eat will change throughout your life. Your doctor and/or a licensed nutritionist are the best people for that job.

However, I can give you a few pointers that I definitely didn’t learn until way later than I would have liked:

Iron: if you don’t eat enough iron, you can feel super sleepy or stuck in brain fog. Iron comes from meat, but it also comes from these foods like spinach, watermelon, beans, whole wheat bread, and many more!

Vitamin D: vitamin D enhances brain function, especially for people with major depressive disorder. Drink that delicious Sunny D juice from your childhood or get it from foods like salmon, tuna fish, dairy fortified with vitamin D, and egg yolks.

Omega-3s: omega-3s are also known as fatty acids, which improve communication between brain cells by fortifying their membrane health. Fish is an excellent source of fatty acids, but you can also enjoy more omega-3s from foods like chia seeds, kidney beans, walnuts, and fortified foods. 

You Can’t Write Because: Your Responsibilities Are Too Important Right Now

As you get older, you’ll have varying responsibilities that sometimes you have to take care of on your own. Maybe you’re taking on new roles at your job or you’ve just become a parent. You might move into a new home and have a long list of projects to finish before you settle in.

Sometimes responsibilities are acts of self-care during challenging times. Those are all valid. It’s okay to step back and take a break if your situation is going to drain your energy until your routine becomes normal or you get used to the responsibilities. You’re a writer even when you’re not actively writing. Nothing can take that skill and passion away from you!

You Can’t Write Because: You’re Uninterested In Writing

It’s totally normal to sometimes feel like you’re completely uninterested in writing. That feeling might last for months or even years. I went through a good 5-6 year period where I didn’t think I’d ever write again just because I didn’t care to.

That may indicate that you’re in a period of self-growth. You might be discovering new parts of yourself that result in new hobbies you’d rather spend your time doing. That’s okay too!

Possible Solutions

If that’s not the case for you, ask yourself—are you still reading? My writing always grinds to a halt when I’m not reading a good book. Ask a friend what was the last book they couldn’t put down. Find out which books are currently taking the internet by storm and find them at your local library.

You can even research “Books like ___” and insert the title of a book that’s incredibly special to you. I promise there are going to be articles looping it in with other titles that you might enjoy more than branching out into a totally new genre.

You Can’t Write Because: You’re Bored of Your Story

Life can get boring. People are sometimes boring. Stories get boring too.

It’s okay to step back from an idea if you groan at the thought of spending time in that world or with that character. You can always come back to see if the feeling has passed.

Possible Solutions

If your story is still dull when you come back to it, what can you add or change about it? You might need a plot twist to get things going in a new direction or another character to shake up existing character dynamics.

When all else fails and you still don’t care to continue writing what you’ve got, go ahead and scrap it. Consider what you’ve learned from the experience and move onto your next creative adventure.

You Can’t Write Because: Your Story Is Stuck

Maybe you’re writing a story and it reaches a point in the plot where you don’t know how to move your characters forward. They may have gotten themselves into a sticky situation you can’t think a way out of or the plot device that was working isn’t relevant anymore. Getting stuck is a form of writer’s block, but it’s not permanent.

Potential Solutions

Give your protagonist a different goal at the start of the story or a new goal after accomplishing their last one.

Add a new character (they’ll naturally make different choices than your protagonist and challenge them in various ways that are relevant to your themes).

Pull the rug out from under your protagonist (maybe they think they’re an incredible parent, but overhear their child complaining about them to a friend during a sleepover while walking past the living room).

Other Resources

12 Techniques for Getting Un-Stuck

17 Ideas to Continue Writing Your Novel When You Get Stuck

6 Methods to Unstick Your Story

You Can’t Write Because: Your Characters Aren’t Real Enough to You

Sometimes characters don’t feel real enough and it makes writing about them boring. Everyone encounters this eventually! Think about if your writer’s block is happening because you don’t enjoy spending time with your characters.

If that’s the problem, it’s time to make them more real. There are a few ways to do that! (If you try these solutions or others like them and your characters are still uninspiring, it might be time to walk away for a while/permanently.)

Potential Solutions

Give them something inspired by a real life person (add a personality trait that you love about your best friend, hate about a public figure, want in yourself, etc.).

Add a few flaws (perfect characters don’t feel real because no one is perfect)

Give them a face (this goes back to character research—save a stock photo that looks like your character or draw them. Post the picture on your wall where you write or in your phone for continual inspiration.)

Rework your plot (maybe you’re not starting them at the best possible point in their journey—start with an action scene, shift events around, or add a new twist that challenges their growth in some way.)

Complicate their relationships (maybe they have a fight with their best friend, clash with their teacher, form different opinions than someone they admire and learn from that experience, etc.)

Other Resources

9 Signs Your Main Character is Boring

5 Ways to Make Your Characters More Realistic

4 Bland Character Problems and How to Fix Them

Easy And Effective Ways To Make Your Characters More Memorable

You Can’t Write Because: You’ve Set High Expectations for Yourself

Your creativity will stop feeling as natural if your expectations of yourself or your writing are too high. 

When it’s time to write, where do your thoughts go? You may need healthier expectations if your thoughts center around:

Getting every word or scene perfect

Knowing exactly where the plot goes in every chapter

Worrying that your story won’t be receptive to future readers

Wondering if you’re the right person to talk about a certain theme

Making your characters or story the first of its kind

It’s good to challenge yourself, but not with unreachable expectations. Give yourself room to try things, to possibly fail, to learn from your mistakes. 

Every chance you have to write is another opportunity to hone your skills by learning from the experience.

You Can’t Write Because: You’re Burnt Out

Burnout happens all the time, creatively or otherwise. Creative minds can push themselves too hard, just like you can throw too much of your energy into work or school. 

See if you’re experiencing any of these common symptoms of burnout:

Constant exhaustion, even after a “good” night’s rest

Headaches

Changes in appetite

Frequent illnesses

No motivation

A general negative outlook on life

Feeling trapped

Loud thoughts of self-doubt or failure

Not feeling satisfied with things that used to bring you joy

Feeling alone

Starting unhealthy coping mechanisms

Isolating yourself from people, even your loved ones

Potential Solutions

Talking with a therapist is a great way to handle burnout. Here are the resources for budget-friendly therapy again:

7 Cups of Tea (chat with volunteer listeners and professional counselors)

Get in-person or virtual therapy through Open Path ($30-60/session with a one-time membership fee; aims to close the financial gap that keeps people from accessing mental health professionals).

Check out other budget-friendly therapy options recommended by the medical community.

I have absolutely been the person who can’t afford therapy. I get it. You can also get some mental health help with these resources:

Self care apps—I use the (free) Finch app every day to redirect negative thought patterns!

Burnout recovery strategies recommended by health care professionals

Burnout resources recommended by the American Psychiatric Association (APA)

You Can’t Write Because: Your Writing Routine Isn’t Working Anymore

I used to write short stories literally every day while I was in grade school. Being stuck in classes for 8 hours a day was great for my creative writing because the sounds of the teacher talking, whiteboard markers writing, and students asking questions became background noise that tuned me into my stories. (I highly recommend paying attention to harder classes though 😂)

When I had fewer daily classes in college, my writing basically stopped. After I graduated, the environment that helped me write most easily completely disappeared.

It took a long time for me to learn why I had writer’s block—I wasn’t experimenting with my writing environment.

Potential Solutions

Try changing when you write to see if it’s a time issue. Get up earlier in the morning, write after eating lunch, or sit down after you’ve completed your responsibilities for the day.

Switch your scenery. You might write better at a coffee shop, the library, a park bench, your living room, your bed, or even your bathtub.

Change what you’re hearing. Try writing in complete silence. Use noise-blocking or canceling headphones and listen to lyricless music. You can also try background noises that often help people focus, like:

Background Noise—Coffee Shop

Background Noise—Tavern Fireplace

Background Noise—Rain Shower

Background Noise—Cozy Fireplace and Rain Shower

Background Noise—Forest Sounds

Background Noise—Blizzard Sounds

Background Noise—Interior Plane Cabin White Noise (The pleasant hum of a plane cabin is what I often write to—weird as it admittedly is!)

Background Noise—Christmas Music From Another Room

Background Noise—Lo-Fi

Ambient noise apps

Background noise apps

You Can’t Write Because: You Don’t Feel Motivated

Your story may not feel as captivating as you thought because you’re not as motivated with this one. Does it have a centralized theme? You can always search for your theme or pick one while figuring out what your story is supposed to convey to readers.

Some popular themes are:

Coming of age (discovering something about yourself/the world/both)

Survival

Corruption

Power

Courage

Love

Heroism

Death

Prejudice

You may find your motivation by writing about something very personal to you or something you want to tell other people. Write to the person in your life who needs to see something from your perspective or needs to learn from another person’s perspective.

Write about the thing you can’t stop talking about. Write about what you’re going through or want to figure out. Even if your story goes from a novel to a short story to flash fiction (anywhere from 4 words to 1,000 words), you’ll likely find it easier to write.

Other Resources

10 Most Popular Literary Theme Examples

Story Themes List: 100+ Ideas to Explore in Your Novel

100 Story Ideas Categorized by Theme

You Can’t Write Because: You’re Doubting Yourself

Self-doubt can pull the emergency brake on your brain. You may not think you’re good enough to write a story the moment you think of it. Self-doubt can come into play after you start writing or just before you finish a manuscript.

No matter when it hits you, it can cause another form of writer’s block. You’re the only person who can figure out where that doubt stems from and address the root of the problem, but everyone can practice daily positive affirmations to encourage themselves. With daily practice, you’ll chip away at your writer’s block.

While talking to a mirror or writing in a journal, tell yourself things like:

Writing is my hobby because it’s part of me.

I’m always a writer, no matter how often I actually write.

My voice and ideas deserve to exist.

Every word I write makes me better at writing.

No matter what comes out of my brain, stories are always my artwork.

Other Resources

Positive Affirmations for Writers

60 Affirmations for Writers, Authors, and Creatives

77 Positive Affirmations for Discouraged Writers

336 Affirmations For Writers Who Needs Support​

60 Affirmations for Authors, Writers, and Poets

You Can’t Write Because: You’re Literally Out of  Ideas

Ideas come and go. Sometimes your brain just can’t think of anything. There’s nothing wrong with your creative spirit—you may just have other things going on (like one or more of the above challenges).

When you really want to write something but can’t come up with anything off the top of your head, use a few generators to get things started.

Potential Solutions

Prompt Generators

Writing Prompt Generator by Genre

Prompt Generator

Random Prompt Generator

Story Generators

Plot Generator (Twists, First Lines, and More)

1 Million Plot Combinations

1000s of Plot Ideas Generator

Character Generators

Character Generator 

List of Character Generators (Zombies, Fairies, Ghosts, Murder Mystery Victims, etc.)

Character Profile Generator

Plot Twist Generators

Plot Twist Idea Generator

Randomized Plot Twist Generator

Either/Or Plot Twist Generator

—

I hope this helps someone feel more at peace with their writer’s block, even if you can’t think your way through it yet. Sit with the uncomfortable feeling and it will gradually lose its power over your creativity.

You’ll start writing again sooner than you think. 💛

[geeks-universe]

Kiss of Death pt. 4

Anthony Bridgerton x Assassin!Reader

Society has certain expectations of you. If only they knew of your nighttime activities…

That, as it were, was not possible.

Viscount Bridgerton was only afforded a couple of extra hours of sleep following your late night encounter. He still rose relatively early, only to find out from his mother that you had left nearly half an hour ago with an apology and a promise to meet them at the ball that evening.

You were in a rush for the rest of the day.

Unfortunately, sleep rarely found itself in the silent hours of the night, and when it did, it was fitful. You couldn’t rest, not until you completed your mission. So, you were run ragged by the time the evening approached.

Business was not as usual, and you didn’t know when the London brotherhood had descended into such chaos, but you imagined the famous Edward Kenway might’ve had something to do with it.

His house had been a makeshift headquarters for the time being, and you’d been hard at work establishing both targets and allies.

Being a prominent member of society, however, came with certain expectations. Even a princess couldn’t publicly denounce societal norms, at least not so boldly, but especially not while trying to maintain anonymity.

The Templars had been amassing power in London for some time, and with the brotherhood as desecrated there as it was, you needed to remain unknown.

Which is exactly why you found yourself cursing God above as you tried to re-stitch the gash in your side. The injury was from the night before, but Graham, the resident medic, had stitched it together. In your hurry to return to the Bridgerton home for the ball, you’d ripped them back open.

Now, you were certainly no medical expert, but you’d had to resort to crude stitches a number of times before to prevent yourself from bleeding out. A part of you was thankful for the modest rhetoric of present society, if only because it shielded the many scars a lifetime of fighting had earned you.

Silvery lines mapped your skin, different shapes and sizes, coalescing to a single story of the life you lead. It was a hard life, almost always dangerous, and mentally demanding, but in a world that tried to tie your life value to your marriage prospects, you were damn proud of it.

A knock interrupted your musings, and you cursed loudly as you whipped around to face the intruder, a knife in your hand before you could logically reason that an attacker would decidedly not knock.

Benedict Bridgerton, the middle son, held both hands up in surrender, his eyes blown wide as he took in the scene before him. At first, common etiquette took over, and he apologized for interrupting, and turned away to protect your decency.

Then, he seemed to process what he actually saw.

“I’ll get the doctor,” he proclaimed, already a step out the door.

You didn’t let him get any further.

Mindful of your wound, and the single stitch that still needed to be fully patched up, you vaulted over the bed.

“No doctor,” you stopped him, pulling him back into the room with a force he didn’t know you were capable of, and then leaning against the door.

He opened his mouth, eyes blown wide in surprise, then closed it once more.

“Pardon my indecency,” you spoke eloquently, gesturing to the bloody mess on your torso. You weren’t fully bare, but you were certainly missing a few layers.

“I really think you need a doctor,” Benedict argued, no longer shielding his eyes. “How did-“

“I will explain,” you promised, forcing his gaze to yours. “Everything. But I need to get to the ball.”

“Maybe that’s not-“

“Benedict,” you interrupted sternly, presenting the needle and thread you were using in one hand. “I promise that I’m fine, but if I don’t make it to the ball soon, I will have bigger worries.”

He looked like he wanted to argue, that he needed to advocate for your health. Instead, he sighed, then nodded.

“What do you need?”

“An escort, for one,” you grinned, pointing to the intricate dress you’d laid out earlier. “And discretion. I’ll tell you everything, but you have to promise you won’t breathe a word to another soul.”

Benedict mulled over the proposition, as he leaned against the bedpost and watched with a morbid fascination as you threaded the last stitch in.

“As long as there’s no danger to my family, I can keep a secret.”

You flashed him a smile, then fixed your slip to the proper position.

“First order of business, I need help with this corset.”

He raised a brow, sure you were joking. When it became evident that you were absolutely serious, his smile faded.

“What would the lords and ladies of the ton think of this?” Benedict teased, helping you dress in the lavish gown you had chosen for the ball.

“I’m sure,” you grunted as the pressure of the corset pushed against the wound, “They’d disapprove of a great many of my hobbies.”

“Having men dress you is a hobby, then?”

There was an easy air between the two of you, like you were fast friends. It reminded you of the stark difference between him and his older brother. Where you could joke along with Benedict easily, every interaction with Anthony was charged, electric even.

“Quite the opposite,” you hummed, and Benedict laughed loudly.

Fast friends, indeed.

You were sure if it were any other Bridgerton, there would be more questions and demands. You were also sure they’d be a little more sober.

But, as it were, Benedict was exactly who you needed at the present. He offered help with no judgment and little questions.

There would be a time and a place where you owed him both, but for now your objective was set, and Benedict certainly didn’t get in your way.

The carriage ride to the ball was tense, at best, and suspicious, at worst. Your fingers flexed against the deep red fabric of your gown, and even through the many, many layers of finery, you felt the pressure upon your leg.

Still, Benedict remained silent, his mouth pulled in a tight line. It was difficult for him to do so, but he held his tongue. For an inexplicable reason, he believed you would tell him the truth, and that was enough to earn his silence.

“Will you be my first dance, Benedict?”

Your voice was gentle against the harsh squeaking of the old carriage. One corner of his lips pulled up in a crooked smile, the street lamps twinkling in his eyes.

“I would be delighted.”

You breathed a laugh, enjoying the last few moments of peace before braving the storm. Despite what your refined birth might suggest, you would never be accustomed to the duties you had as Princess. In a ballroom, you played the part you had to perfectly, but it would only ever be an act. You never felt more like yourself as you did when you had your gear on, hurdling towards the earth in a leap of faith, trusting your judgment and quick wit to grant you a safe landing.

The beating of your heart, the widening of your eyes, the perfect control over your muscles; it made you feel alive.

All too soon, the great pillars of the Craven estate towered outside, signaling your arrival at the ball. The carriage slowed to a stop, the halting of the jostling a minute reprieve from the ache on your abdomen.

Just smile.

Your lips tugged up- not with unbridled joy, but rather polite disinterest- as you took a steadying breath. Benedict got out first, scanning over your features quickly before he extended a hand, helping you out.

You didn’t wince, didn’t even move a muscle, as the new stitches pulled uncomfortably, a dull ache settling against your ribs.

“That’s incredible,” Benedict commented under his breath, leading you past the stragglers outside.

You were late to the ball, but fashionably so. Some of the more aggressive mamas were fixing their daughter’s hair or gowns before they entered. They all dropped to a curtsy as you walked by, murmuring about your dress.

“What is?” You inquired, not even sparing him a glance.

Your shoulders were straight, your head held high. Years of instincts made sure you took particular note of your surroundings, and escape routes if need be, but to everyone else you looked calm- content even- as you glided towards the doors, the intricate train of your dress nearly dragging on the ground. The bodice of the dress looked to be made of red rose petals, their overlapping covering from your wrist to your waist, then cascading down over the layers of red silk. The gown left your shoulders exposed, and just enough cleavage to be deemed tasteful. The placement was careful enough to avoid any noticeable scars, while still being tantalizing to the eligible men.

If only they knew.

“It is truly impossible to tell the position you were in just moments ago.”

The curve of your lips pulled up a little more.

“Everyone has their secrets, Benedict,” you replied quietly, muttering a thanks as the door was opened for you and him. “Some are just better at hiding it.”

As you and the middle Bridgerton boy descended the stairs into the sparkling marble ballroom, the music paused, and they all turned to stare at you.

The queen wasn’t present, luckily. Your father had sent a letter in advance to her, so that it wouldn’t be seen as disrespectful when you didn’t visit her first. You would have to make a royal visit sooner rather than later, but, ironically enough, you tried to avoid royalty. In your experience, too many had been direct supporters of the Templar cause.

You identified as many people as you could- and those you couldn’t, you assessed what sort of threat they might pose. Even as the music resumed and the hushed whisper that’d fallen over the ball had all but dissipated, you found the noise faded to the background.

Somewhere in the chaos of your thoughts and the murkiness of your fear Benedict slipped a dance card around your wrist.

The eyes of paintings seemed to watch you and the expansive ceilings closed in, suffocating you in a way you’d been before.

28.

28 possible escape routes.

The thought was enough to calm the fear swelling in your heart. Once, you would’ve been just as comfortable in the crowd. Once, you were fearless.

Then, your mother…

The dark eyes of Viscount Bridgerton dragged you out of your mind before you could be swept up in the current of memories as he approached you. He bowed deeply, but his gaze didn’t stray.

Hot desire burned there, his eyes slow to draw your figure. He tried to conceal it, like he, too, was startled by the air that crackled with intensity between you.

“I was starting to think you’d decided to forgo tonight’s ball as well.”

There was such a simple curiosity in his words that you couldn’t contain the gentle laughter that bubbled to your lips.

“I suppose I have been rather absent.” You admitted, casting a glance to your escort. “Alas, your brother promised me a dance, so I simply had to attend.”

The frown on Anthony’s mouth could be categorized as suspicious, but Benedict shot him a wink and swept you away, mindful of your hidden injuries.

“I dare say,” Benedict leaned in conspiratorially, one hand placed in yours while the other rested on the small of your back. “You’ve caught Anthony’s interest.”

“His interest?” You echoed, a brow arched. “Or his ire?”

Where Benedict’s moves were graceful and practiced, yours were fluid- the dance of someone who was familiar with precise movements. You were sure you made quite the spectacle, even more so to the eyes of men who wished to marry the rich and beautiful.

“Perhaps,” Benedict laughed, spinning you with ease, “they are not so different.”

Even with the series of spins you performed, you managed to catch Anthony’s stare with each turn of your body. It would’ve been impossible not to, considering his attention had yet to leave you.

“I do believe we’ve managed to anger your brother without a word,” you slyly mentioned, bowing to Benedict as the crescendo drew to an end.

He returned the gesture, flicking a quick look to where you’d stitched your wound together earlier.

“The poets might call that jealousy,” he said, nodding in his brother’s direction, as if to dismiss the conversation.

You hesitated briefly, swallowing against the guilt and anxiety in your throat, before offering a friendly squeeze of your hand.

Tomorrow.

You would tell Benedict the entirety of the truth tomorrow.

Tonight, however, you had a role to play.

You squared your shoulders, raising your head high as you began walking confidently, steadily, in the direction of Anthony Bridgerton. The steel of the twin daggers you concealed against your thighs burned, a gentle reminder of the life you lead.

Anthony was dangerous.

His eyes made you weak in the knees, a bit too much like the lady you were expected to be. He was an attractive man, sinfully so, and you found yourself inexplicably drawn to him.

Perhaps it was the way he challenged you. Or, perhaps, your mind was simply clouded by a haze of lust.

Whatever the case may be, you would not fall so easily to his charms.

“Princess,” Anthony greeted, very obviously shooting his brother a look first.

“Viscount Bridgerton,” you answered, a teasing smile on your lips.

His eyes narrowed a fraction, tension in his brow as he tried to decipher what you could possibly be feeling at the moment. He wouldn’t be able to tell, though. Years and years of training, of learning to wear the mask that most suited you, made you impossible to read.

“You owe me a dance.”

You blinked.

You hadn’t expected him to be so bold. Then again, Anthony, it seemed, had a habit of catching you off guard.

“I don’t recall ever owing you anything,” you shot back evenly, unable to stop yourself from playing into his game.

“You stay in my family home,” he reminded you, mirth shining in those soulful eyes of his.

“Are you suggesting I find other arrangements?” You couldn’t keep a straight face, cursing yourself as a sultry smile spread on your lips.

“No,” he noted the flock of men waiting for your conversation to end so that they might engage with you. “But I am keeping your suitors at bay. Surely, that warrants a dance.”

Your eyes didn’t need to leave his to notice the men congregating a polite distance away, patiently awaiting a chance to speak with you, or perhaps dance. Either way, you didn’t want to. In this case, you didn’t have much of a choice, appearances and all that.

“My knight in shining armor,” you deadpanned, biting your lip to keep from laughing.

“A dance then?”

There was a hopefulness there, and a part of yourself you thought you’d long since abandoned twinged desperately.

“Patience, my dear Anthony, is a virtue,” you ran your tongue along your teeth, watching his gaze flick down, tracing the movement with his eyes.

“Perhaps we should tell that to them.”

His smile widened mischievously, and before you could question why, he waved over the nearest suitor. The tall blonde-haired gentleman looked startled, before he rushed over to introduce himself and place his name on your dance card.

You glared at Anthony over the man’s shoulder, physically restraining yourself from doing something childish like sticking your tongue out at him when he had the audacity to shrug.

The rest of the ball continued in a similar manner. Anthony watched on as suitor after suitor approached, all far too eager for your attention. He ignored the twinge of jealousy, telling himself over and over that he didn’t want you in any manner, and therefore he had no reason to feel envious of all the men holding you throughout the night.

It didn’t help, of course, but he’d gotten decent at burying his feelings deep beneath his own stubborn ideas.

“You didn’t ask her to dance,” Daphne noted beside him, leaving her own entourage of suitors.

He knew that look she was giving him. It was the same look his mother gave him before she meddled in his business. It seemed Daphne had inherited a carbon copy of that expression.

“I would think, dear sister, you have your own dances to worry about.”

Daphne smiled thoughtfully.

“It’s okay to like her,” she replied kindly.

The soft tone, and unexpected observation, caused Anthony to stare at his sister for a moment. A moment too long, considering she left him in his confusion, offering no further explanation.

The rest of the night he was left in silence, a lonely shadow watching over the bright ambience. He felt starkly out of place, and was reminded once again that he felt constrained, rather than freed, by the responsibilities on his shoulders.

He released a quiet breath, lingering near his mother as the night drew to a conclusion. You were lost somewhere in the fray, and, much to his displeasure, he couldn’t seem to find you.

When he began to usher his family home, he noted with some amount of curiosity that you had already left, disappeared with only a quick explanation to Daphne.

He felt a knot tighten in his stomach.

Surely, you hadn’t snuck away with a suitor, right? The thought was unpleasant, so much so that the sour look on his face kept his family from engaging with him on the carriage ride home.

He had hoped that perhaps you would stop by late into the night, as you had previously, but Anthony slept through the night with no interruptions.

Tag List: @mysticwitchcraftco @ajanauia @khaleesihavilliard @kariiiel @owenniasstars

[lassify]

Is Twilight a good therapist?

[Spoilers for SxF Ch.77 if you haven't already read it!!]

I am a huge fan of seeing representation of what it's like to be in the therapy room, but there are always soooo many things that the media get wrong, and I really wanted to draw attention to Twilight's portrayal as a therapist. (This is coming from the POV of someone who works in a clinical setting in the UK/Scotland).

Before I get stuck in, I also want to make it clear that Psychiatrists and Psychologists are VERY different, and in this scene Twilight is very much acting as a Psychologist.

("What's the difference?" you may ask.

WELL:

It's easy. A Psychiatrist is trained as a medical doctor, specialising in mental disorders largely from a biology perspective, and they are qualified to prescribe drugs and medication.

A Psychologist on the other hand delivers talking therapies, and is trained to see mental health from multiple perspectives. Basically, exactly what we see Twilight doing in this scene!)

So, we have a spy who has received next to zero medical training and, as far as I can tell, has whizzed through textbooks in his spare time - no placements, no clinical training, no assessments or exams, no clinical supervisor to assist in reflection or case management.

So, how does he do?

Normalising responses to traumatic events ✅

Mr Austin has done the brave thing and turned up looking for help, and Twilight/Dr Forger responds by putting his problems into context, and normalising the experience for him. We love to see it. This is SO important to trauma-informed working.

2. Providing reassurance and expectations for recovery ✅

I love this even more because what Twilight is saying is true. Only 10% of people who experience a potentially traumatic event actually develop PTSD symptoms, and of those, 70% will recover within the year. Twilight is reiterating the message that acute trauma is absolutely recoverable.

3. Teaching and demonstrating coping skills ✅

It's not enough for clinicians to simply tell their patients about coping skills, it is essential to demonstrate them too. Bringing the practice of coping skills into the therapy room is so important for helping the patient to build their skills, and to build the therapeutic alliance as well.

Here, Twilight is teaching a simple breathing technique, but I would also commend him for teaching other coping skills: grounding, distraction, progressive muscle relaxation, visualisation, and more - although all/most of these rely on breath control as a foundation.

4. Encouraging guided self-help and making medical reccommendations ✅✅

Just trying a breathing exercise once does not make recovery easy. Twilight knows it's important to encourage patients to do this in their own time.

And, finally, we see him acting as a psychiatrist, and reccommending medication. (Although, let's temporarily ignore that as a spy he has NO TRAINING in psychopharmaceuticals).

5. Breaching confidentiality ❌ Confrontational approach ❌

Oh, Twilight... You have fucked up. Big time. This is the biggest fuck up of the entire session.

It's his SECOND session with this patient, and not only does he take a confrontational approach (putting Mr Austin on the defensive, definitely not conducive to a good therapeutic relationship), but he has BREACHED CONFIDENTIALITY. Depending on severity this is A FIREABLE OFFENCE (even in the UK!).

6. Positioning oneself as the 'expert' ❌ Telling the patient to confront their abuser❌ Not taking into account patient's readiness for change ❌

Oh HELL no. Absolutely not. Confronting fear is a delicate and lengthy process requiring many steps, and always checking in with the patient at every step of the way. It cannot go too fast.

The therapeutic relationship is an alliance, and it's important to empower the patient to make their own choices in therapy, especially if it's something that is a source of fear.

Not only that, but telling anyone to confront their abuser is straight up the worst advice ever. It's not safe.

6.5 Providing rationale and reassurance✅

Okay, I'll concede on this point. Twilight's rationale is sound: in the 'Cycle of Anxiety', Avoidance is a key factor in maintaining one's fear of something, and it is a core criterion in PTSD. Learning how to face a fear is really important to PTSD recovery.

And it's good that Twilight attempts to reassure Mr Austin's concerns.

7. Giving unsolicited relationship advice ❌

This is NOT your role, Twilight. You are outside the bounds of your job description. It's an admirable effort to connect with the patient, but, alas, not appropriate at this time.

8. Not taking risk into account ❌❌❌

This is a BIG one. It is not normal for a person to be so afraid of their spouse to be showing all the typical symptoms of a fight-or-flight fear response (sweating, shaking, racing thoughts, muscle tension, pupil dilation, etc.), and Twilight is missing some pretty obvious cues to indicate that Mr Austin is in a clearly unsafe situation.

HE IS LITERALLY TELLING YOU TO YOUR FACE!!

AND if its bad enough that Mr Austin can't even speak, that means his fear is bad enough to completely shut off his pre-frontal cortex (the centre of executive function, rational thought and decision making), which means that his fear is THAT bad. Add this up with the insomnia, chronic fatigue, frequent dissociation, irritability and mood swings, and suddenly it is bad enough to be considered a trauma response - and Twilight still doesn't question the source of this trauma.

Also, Twilight, you can afford to put the judgement aside. Please.

9. Facilitating an unsafe exercise ❌ Risking psychological safety ❌

Here Twilight is attempting a basic exercise inspired by exposure therapy (which Twilight is NOT trained in because he is a spy). While it is a therapy that has a decent evidence base, you don't to therapy to a patient, you do it with them, i.e. it's a process that needs to have a clear goal with informed consent.

In this instance, Twilight didn't prepare Mr Austin for the exercise, and he ended up in an actual flashback with very high levels of emotional distress. Unsafe.

And, again, psychiatrists do not typically deliver talk therapy - that is the job of psychologists.

Conclusion

Why did I make this thread?

I'm really happy that Endo put in the effort to illustrate a really interesting therapy session, bringing psychology and trauma into the forefront. These are sensitive topics and I applaud Endo for giving a really complex topic airtime, and doing the research into what a proper therapy session looks like - because, for all my criticisms here, it is a pretty decent represention of what therapy can look like. [Especially the good bits!]

I also think this scene/chapter alone does a great job of reducing the stigma of seeking help for mental illness. It's great to see in mainstream media, especially something as popular as Spy x Family, since Japan does have a high suicide rate and intense stigma for those suffering from mental illness.

However, I still felt the criticisms of Twilight's therapy session were important to voice.

We cannot forget that he is not a trained clinician. He is there to gather information on his patients and their families and connect him to the upper classes, which explains his confrontational approach and disregard to psychological safety.

As much as Twilight has truly absorbed the psychiatry textbooks and committed their content to memory, the effects of the lack of training is obvious, showing up as major errors in his clinical practice - some of which could get him fired in today's system.

TL;DR Twilight is a GREAT spy. But a therapist? Not your calling, my friend.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hi sex witch, I (cis man, late 20s) have a bit of an issue regarding medication and my sex life... I'm hoping you can be a bit of a sounding board for me?

I recently started taking an SNRI to help with anxiety and sleep. It seems to be working (not perfectly, but there's definitely a pretty big improvement).

Currently I'm single and all my sex is solo, but I've noticed that since I started the meds my libido has significantly reduced. It's also more difficult to reach orgasm, and the orgasms feel... different? (Not sure how I feel about that bit...)

My main problem is trying to work out whether I want to raise this with my doctor when I go for my next check-up. I'm not in the market for sex with anyone else right now, so the only person it is affecting is me. The positives in terms of my anxiety are great, and the negatives are more "differences" than actual "negatives".

What do you think? Should I push to try a different medication before I get settled on this one? Or should I spend more time working out whether I'm comfortable with the lower sex-drive? I think both are reasonable, and I would appreciate your opinion - thanks!

hi anon,

PREFACE: I'M NOT ANY KIND OF DOCTOR AND THIS ISN'T MEDICAL ADVICE.

I just want to start by commending you for noting the difference between "different" and "negative." people are often taught to think of any change in their sexual function as automatically bad, when in fact it's often nothing more than a very natural fluctuation within their body.

in your case, that fluctuation is very common; many people report experiencing a decrease in libido after beginning anti-depressants. hormones drive much of our sexuality, and anti-depressants wreak havoc on our the delicate chemical balance in our brain - for the better, of course, because they ideally help bridge the gap for chemical deficiencies in our brains that make us feel Not So Good, but as a side effect functions like the libido can be thrown into a spiral.

it's worth noting that the change often isn't permanent; eventually, your body may very well acclimate to the new hormonal arrangement and gets back to business as usual. I can personally attest that my first year on anti-depressants saw my libido pretty much go dormant, but it eventually came back with a vengeance.

I'm not in any way, shape, or form an expert on how the brain works and how medication works in the long term, but as someone who spends a lot of time talking to people about sex and has been on anti-depressants for years, I have to wonder if part of the sex drive's return has to do with the effectiveness of the medication over time. many people have a hard time fully accessing their sexuality when they're suffering from stress, anxiety, and depression, because being horny - let alone actually having sex - requires an amount of mental space and energy that just isn't there when you're struggling to even perform the basic tasks that let you get through the day. again, speaking from personal experience, I know that before I was medicated, WAAAAAAY too much of my energy was getting burned up by my anxiety and the accompanying physical symptoms; there's not much left over for libido when all of you're exhausting yourself shaking and otherwise being a nervous wreck. turns out being horny is WAY EASIER when you aren't constantly on edge!

I will also point out that sometimes the reason people who aren't doing so great in regards to their mental health masturbate so much is for those sweet little dopamine hits that they're not getting anywhere else, which I don't say to stigmatize jerking off while mentally ill (god knows I can't judge for that) but to point out that after a few months with more managed anxiety, you may not even be as interested in solo sex as you previously were. or you will be, but it will look different thanks to the other positive effects your medication has had. sexuality is a slippery creature, and it's impossible to predict exactly how it will shift throughout our lives.

my point being, if you haven't noticed any other adverse side effects of this medication and you think it's going to help more than hinder you, I would recommend continuing with it for the time. you'll keep reaping the positive benefits in the meantime, and you'll have some time to reflect on those changes as they continue to happen and figure out how this new shape your sexuality has taken can still fit into the overall mosaic of your life. if you ultimately decide that you don't like what's changed, that's fine! but I would broadly advise waiting it out through the most dramatic shifts that will happen early on to get a fuller picture.

[eternal-echoes]

A woman who was pumped with testosterone and underwent hormone therapy when she was a young teenager is suing both her doctors and the American Academy of Pediatrics, which her lawyers say has knowingly lied about the impact of the radical sex-change treatments it recommends, according to a copy of the lawsuit obtained exclusively by The Daily Wire. Isabelle Ayala, now a twenty-year-old woman, had just turned fourteen when she was committed to the hospital for suicidal thoughts, according to the lawsuit. It was during this hospital stay that she met with Dr. Jason Rafferty, who during his first brief meeting with Ayala determined that she “meets criteria to consider hormonal transition,” with the only stated obstacle being parental consent. The lawsuit states that Rafferty and other doctors sent Ayala down the “path of ‘gender-affirming’ medicalization” rather than addressing the true roots of her mental health problems — six months into her testosterone treatments, Ayala tried to commit suicide. The treatments, however, continued, until Ayala moved away from Rhode Island and decided to quit them “cold-turkey.” Now comfortable with her gender, she regrets what the doctors did to her, the lawsuit says. “Isabelle is now twenty years old and longs for what could have been and to have her healthy, female body back,” it says. “The changes the testosterone have had on her body are a constant reminder that she needed an unbiased medical expert willing to evaluate her mental health and provide her the care she needed, rather than a group of ideologues set on promoting their own agenda and furthering a broader conspiracy at her expense.” The lawsuit not only goes after the doctors who treated Ayala, but also the American Academy of Pediatrics, where Rafferty and his colleagues worked to publish a now-infamous policy statement advocating for aggressive gender treatments for children. Lawyers for Ayala say the policy statement laid the groundwork for an “entirely new model of treatment” based on “outright fraudulent representations” of scientific proof. ... Ayala is “an unfortunate victim of a collection of actors who prioritized politics and ideology over children’s safety, health, and well-being,” the lawsuit filed on her behalf states. She had suffered with her mental health ever since being a victim of sexual abuse, long before she began entertaining the idea of gender transition as a solution to her depression. The lawsuit says that Rafferty, Forcier, and other doctors failed to even consider other options to address her mental health before putting her on an aggressive hormone and testosterone regimen. Ayala told her doctors that she was concerned about losing the ability to give birth, but they put her on the treatments anyway, without disclosing the potential harm the drugs administered could have on the reproductive system. The lawsuit says that Ayala is worse off now than before she was treated by the doctors, and asks that they be held “accountable for their wrongful acts.” “Isabelle has suffered from vaginal atrophy from the extensive use of testosterone; she deals with excess facial and body hair; she struggles with compromised bone structure; she is unsure whether her fertility has been irreversibly compromised; she still has mental health issues and deals with episodes of anxiety and depression, further compounded by a sense of regret; and she has since contracted an autoimmune disease that only the males in her family have a history of,” the lawsuit explains.

Emphasis are mine

[nerdieforpedro]

Weekend Update - 12/31/2023 - New Year’s Eve

Hey Nerdie! Looking forward to the New Year?

Hello! And yes I am, new beginning can be scary but fun. I’m looking forward it.

You have any lessons that you’re going to carry into the new year?

*Is shocked that she is being asked for advice*

Er…Not sure if you should ask a Hornado Hooligan for life advice, but I’ll do my best.

Skip number four if mentions of mental health, depression and/or suicidal ideation are triggering for you.

1. If you love something, keep doing it. Writing, singing, dancing, reading, walking, edits, watching TV and movies of a certain man with excellent hair, large hands and a prominent nose, painting, playing an instrument, whatever gives you peace and joy.

2. Write the things you want to write, all fanfics are self-indulgent. It’s encouraged, we all want to read all the things. Lord knows all my fanfics are and I would not have them any other way.

3. Find a lovely group of people to nerd out with, chat with, cry with, and have plenty of belly laughs with. The Hornado Watch (to which I am the resident hooligan who inspires many a giggle) has been saving grace for me this year with their support and care in just these last few months. 🥰

The following does contain mentions of mental health and suicidal ideation.

4. On that same note if you don’t feel quite right, mentally or physically, you should tell someone you trust and seek out help. My personal battle with mental health has been ongoing for roughly half my life, it’s hard to remember a time I didn’t feel depressed. I had been managing with medications and drowning myself in work but that will only stave the dark edges off for so long.

It was earlier this year, about August and September when I re-joined tumblr after one of my younger patients who saw my water bottle all Pedro’s characters’s stickers all over it and asked if I read any of the Fanfiction about him because that patient read Loki fics on there. I hadn’t and was surprised to note that my Tumblr log-in infor still worked. I was going through the motions of life and felt hollow to the point where for the first time since high school I had thoughts of “if I wasn’t here, would everything feel okay? Would it stop? If I don’t wake up, and everything stayed black it would be fine.” Then came the insomnia where I just wanted to sleep maybe forever and my body wouldn’t allow me as a special kind a torture. At least that’s how I thought of it at the time.

Oddly enough my first fics were posted between September and October so I was trying to work out the feelings I had which helped some but wasn’t enough so thankfully I was able to find a doctor who’s listen to me when I said my meds aren’t keeping me even keeled any more and started me on a new medication which has been working well for me.

Since then, I’ve enjoyed writing up a storm on all sorts of subjects that I’ve thought about, wanted to explore and just thought, “don’t see that anywhere, let’s do it.”

I’ll keep writing as it really does help keep me sane and interacting with all you lovely peeps 🐥 as it’s often a highlight of my day. 🫂

Especially my Hornado Watch group, I’m your resident hooligan and weather report expert. I predict more flooding and downpours of thots with some support mixed in there. A high chance of fluffy feelings and rainbows in the clouds ⛅️❤️

Stay warm, safe and see you in 2024! 💚

Love Nerdie ❤️

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Ian Kingsbury

Published: Jan 9, 2024

New studies raise more red flags on pediatric gender medicine.

American medical associations are doubling down on their support of so-called gender-affirming care for children even as lawsuits mount and European countries reverse course. America’s public reckoning with the harms inflicted on kids by pediatric gender medicine ticks closer by the day, and indeed several studies published in recent weeks bring the tragic and profound risks into sharper focus.

A study headed by Finnish researcher Riittakerttu Kaltiala examines the psychiatric needs of gender-dysphoric individuals in Finland. The researchers observe that the dysphoric population was substantially more likely than age-matched peers to have received specialist-level psychiatric contact before their first visit to a gender clinic. Worryingly, mental-health needs intensify after they begin the process of medical transition. Whereas 15 percent of patients who underwent gender-reassignment interventions had received psychiatric treatment before visiting a gender clinic, 53 percent had psychiatric contact after their first visit.

“Experts” profess certainty that “gender-affirming care” alleviates mental-health distress. They arrive at this conclusion through deeply flawed studies that rely on patient self-reports of mental health. But other clinical indicators suggest that medical transition in fact exacerbates mental-health distress. A 2021 study found that prescriptions for psychotropic medications increased after kids initiated medical transition. A 2011 study from Sweden meanwhile found that those who underwent sex-reassignment surgery had an appreciably lower life expectancy than the general population, in part due to an increased incidence of suicide.

Lower life expectancy among those who medically transition is also likely attributable to the regimen of cross-sex hormones that transitioners take. Previous research has documented that cross-sex hormone therapy is associated with increased risk of heart disease and obesity. A new study published by University of California, Davis, researchers also hints at greater cancer risk. Specifically, the researchers observe that natal male veterans who were diagnosed with gender dysphoria and/or prescribed estrogen or estradiol have almost double the incidence of thyroid cancer compared with other male veterans. The researchers note that “estrogen probably has a role in the pathogenesis of thyroid cancer,” a good indication that the higher incidence is not simply correlational or coincidental but a direct result of hormone therapy.

It is unclear whether doctors are advising teenage boys that cross-sex hormones potentially increase their risk of thyroid cancer, and another matter altogether whether teenagers possess the mental maturity to provide informed consent to such weighty medical decisions.

Two other studies drive home the enormous risks of making “gender-affirming” medical interventions available to children. A study in PLOS One features interviews with Canadian detransitioners. Canada, like the United States, has remarkably low guardrails around “gender-affirming care.” Interviews with 28 detransitioners reveal a consistent theme that they were not properly informed of the risks, complications, and limitations of the treatments. “Reflecting back, they felt they lacked insights such as the extent to which their sexual orientation, mental illness, or neurodivergence may have intersected with dysphoria or desire to transition and many said they would have benefitted from ‘neutral’ therapy.”

Disturbingly, the American Academy of Pediatrics advises that watchful waiting is “outdated” and that expressions of gender diversity in children should be immediately affirmed by parents and clinicians. The experiences of these detransitioners prove why watchful waiting and differential diagnosis is in fact pivotal for child safeguarding.

In another study, Lisa Littman and co-authors revisit the topic of “rapid onset gender dysphoria.” Littman coined the term in a previous study to describe the phenomenon whereby kids suddenly arrive at a trans identity because of trauma, mental-health challenges, or social contagion rather than persistent feelings of gender dysphoria. Trans activists deny the rapid-onset phenomenon, but the new study provides good evidence of its existence. In the study, Littman and colleagues interviewed 78 Americans who previously identified as transgender but desisted in that identity. The researchers find that by retrospective reporting, fewer than 17 percent of participants met clinical diagnostic criteria for gender dysphoria in childhood. Moreover, 53 percent of participants responded affirmatively when asked if their dysphoria appeared “suddenly” during or after puberty.

Activists insist that trans-identifying kids simply “know who they are” and that medicalization of their expressions of dysphoria is a sensible and compassionate intervention. Littman’s new study indicates the opposite: Many trans-identified children are vulnerable and confused. Pushing them into receiving irreversible medical interventions is irrational and cruel.

[ Via: https://archive.md/yXOwJ ]

[fiftysevenacademics]

April 12, 2024

Bennett Braun, a Chicago psychiatrist whose diagnoses of repressed memories involving horrific abuse by devil worshipers helped to fuel what became known as the “satanic panic” of the 1980s and ’90s, died on March 20 in Lauderhill, Fla., north of Miami. He was 83.

Jane Braun, one of his ex-wives, said the death, in a hospital, was from complications of a fall. Dr. Braun lived in Butte, Mont., but had been in Lauderhill on vacation.

Dr. Braun gained renown in the early 1980s as an expert in two of the most popular and controversial areas of psychiatric treatment: repressed memories and multiple personality disorder, now known as dissociative identity disorder.

He claimed that he could help patients uncover memories of childhood trauma — the existence of which, he and others said, were responsible for the splintering of a person’s self into many distinct personalities.

He created a unit dedicated to dissociative disorders at Rush-Presbyterian-St. Luke’s Medical Center in Chicago (now Rush University Medical Center); became a frequently quoted expert in the news media; and helped to found what is now the International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation, a professional organization of over 2,000 members today.

It was from that sizable platform that Dr. Braun publicized his most explosive findings: that in dozens of cases, his patients discovered memories of being tortured by satanic cults and, in some cases, of having participated in the torture themselves.

He was not the only psychiatrist to make such a claim, and his supposed revelations keyed into a growing national panic.

The 1980s saw a vertiginous rise in the number of people, both children and adults, who claimed to have been abused by devil worshipers. It began in 1980 with the book “Michelle Remembers,” by a Canadian woman who said she had recovered memories of ritual abuse, and spiked following allegations of abuse at day care centers in California and North Carolina.

Elements of pop culture, such as heavy metal music and the role-playing game Dungeons and Dragons, were looped in as supposed entry points for cult activity.

Such stories were fodder for popular TV formats that reveled in the salacious, including talk shows like “Geraldo” and newsmagazines like “Dateline,” which broadcast segments that promoted such claims uncritically.

The psychiatric profession bore some responsibility for the growing panic, with respected researchers like Dr. Braun giving it a gloss of authority. He and others ran seminars and distributed research papers; they even gave the phenomenon a quasi-medical abbreviation, S.R.A., for satanic ritual abuse.

Dr. Braun’s inpatient unit at Rush became a magnet for referrals and a warehouse for patients, some of whom he kept medicated and under supervision for years

Among them was a woman from Iowa named Patricia Burgus. After interviewing her, Dr. Braun and a colleague, Roberta Sachs, claimed not only that she was the victim of satanic ritual abuse, but also that she herself was a “high priestess” of a cult that had raped, tortured and cannibalized thousands of children, including her two young sons.

Dr. Braun and Dr. Sachs sent Mrs. Burgus and her children to a mental health facility in Houston, where they were held apart for nearly three years with minimal contact with the outside world.

By then Mrs. Burgus, heavily medicated, had come to believe the doctors, telling them she recalled torches, live burials and eating the body parts of up to 2,000 people a year. After her parents served her husband meatloaf, she had him get it tested for human tissue. The tests came back negative, but Dr. Braun was not convinced.

Dr. Braun kept other patients under similar conditions at Rush or elsewhere. He persuaded one woman to have an abortion because, he convinced her, she was the product of ritualistic incest; he persuaded another to undergo tubal ligation to prevent having more children within her supposed cult.

The satanic panic began to wane in the early 1990s. A 1992 F.B.I. investigation found no evidence of coordinated cult activity in the United States, and a 1994 report by the National Center on Child Abuse and Neglect surveyed over 12,000 accusations of satanic ritual abuse and found that not a single one held up under scrutiny.

“The biggest thing was the lack of corroborating evidence,” Kenneth Lanning, a retired F.B.I. agent who wrote the 1992 report, said in a phone interview. “It’s the kind of crime where evidence would have been left behind.”

Many people distanced themselves from their earlier enthusiasms; in 1995, Geraldo Rivera apologized for an episode of his show that covered the falsehood. However, even in 1998, the NBC series “Dateline” ran an episode claiming to show widespread satanic activity in Mississippi.

Mrs. Burgus sued Rush, Dr. Braun and her insurance company over claims that he and Dr. Sachs had implanted false memories in her head. They settled out of court in 1997 for $10.6 million.

“I began to add a few things up and realized there was no way I could come from a little town in Iowa, be eating 2,000 people a year, and nobody said anything about it,” Mrs. Burgus told The Chicago Tribune in 1997.

A year later Dr. Braun’s unit at Rush was shut down, and the Illinois medical licensing board opened an investigation into his practices. In 1999, he received a two-year suspension of his license — though he did not admit wrongdoing.

Bennett George Braun was born on Aug. 7, 1940, in Chicago, to Thelma (Gimbel) and Milton Braun. His father was a professor of orthodontics at Loyola University. He graduated from Tulane University with a bachelor’s degree in psychology in 1963 and earned a master’s in the same subject in 1964. He received his medical degree from the University of Illinois in 1968.

Dr. Braun was married three times. His marriages to Renate Deutsch and Mrs. Braun both ended in divorce. His third, to Joanne Arriola, ended in her death. He is survived by five children and five grandchildren.

After temporarily losing his medical license in Illinois, Dr. Braun moved to Montana, where he received a new state license and opened a private practice.

But in 2019, one of his patients, Ciara Rehbein, sued him for overprescribing medication that left her with a permanent facial tic. She also filed a complaint against the Montana Board of Medical Examiners for allowing him a license, despite knowing his past.

Dr. Braun lost his license to practice medicine in Montana in 2020.

[thewritingbeforesunrise]

BALLERINA - Chapter Six.

A Jake Kiszka AU

Physiotherapist!Jake x Original Female Character

Previous Chapter.

A/N: You have been waiting for this one. Here it is, finally. 🔥🔥

In the text, you will find a little link with an ambience sound that I thought was fitting for this chapter. I hope you like it.

Please, let me know what you think about this!

If you are interested, you can join my taglist here.

Word count: 4.9K

Warnings for this chapter: 18+ MINORS ABSOLUTELY DNI - kissing, oral (f!receiving), talking of physical rehabilitation and medical stuff (I am not an expert, I apologise for any inaccuracies), poor mental health, soft!Jake.

_________________________________

It was mid March when Iris was dismissed from the hospital.

Now it was a hot afternoon in the beginning of June and she was walking to therehabilitation studio.

She had made huge progress with Jake's help and now she could walk and even run a little on her own, without any help.

The only signs of the injury on her leg were the two big pale scars on it. She still had to get used to them, but she were recovering well.

Jake was helping her in the first steps towards maybe being able to dance again, and she was very grateful for it.

If on the physical side she had come a very long way, on the emotional side she was a wreck, and it was entirely because of him.

Every time she saw him, which meant three times a week now, he was more beautiful than the day prior. The feelings that his hands elicited were stronger every day to the point that she didn't know how much she would be able to resist the urge to push him right against the wall and ravage him.

He affected her to the point that every time she went home after a rehabilitation session, she had to go straight to the shower, discarding her soaked and ruined panties in the laundry and touch herself until she came undone thinking about him.

His name threatened to spill from her lips every time.

Today the weather was awful.

Big black clouds were approaching, causing the temperature to be even more suffocating. The five minute walk to his studio felt like thirty minutes under the scorching hot sun and once Iris arrived there she was glad the air conditioning wasn't set too high.

Unlike the other times the waiting room was packed.

The secretary told Iris that there would be some delay in the appointments because the doctor had an emergency at the hospital and he had to leave his studio for three hours.

She didn't mind waiting to see him, she always had a book with her so she took a seat near the balcony and started reading.

Every now and then she could hear the rumble of thunder approaching and from the window she could see the grey clouds. They were swirling fast and becoming even darker, the lightning spreading on and inside of them like cracks in porcelain.

The hours passed and now she was the only one left in the studio.

It was almost 7 pm.

He must be exhausted, she thought.

Once she saw the last person that was inside with him leave, she put away her book and waited for the secretary to call her.

After a while, she told Iris to go inside and she pushed the door open.

There he was.

She could see how tired he was, but she couldn't help but find him even more beautiful. His hair was again tied in a low ponytail and he was wearing a simple white tshirt and grey joggers.

She took off her shoes and approached him. Even though he was tired, he was gleaming when he smiled at her, his perfect teeth showing and she couldn't help but blush, again.

He was used to it by now, she told herself.

"Hi, Iris I am so sorry to have kept you waiting for so long, but I had an emergency in the hospital this morning and I had to help in an emergency surgery." He told her with a sigh.

He looked really exhausted.

"It's ok, don't worry, I know you are very busy." She quickly answered.

"Not many of my patients seem to remember it. I don't want to argue with them but there was a man this morning, right after I came back from surgery, that I really wanted to punch in the face because he expected me to see him without appointment. I just had time for a quick shower and then I headed here. I didn't even have time to eat." He said rapidly.

Then he buried his face in his hands saying "Oh my God, sorry. I didn't mean to vent about my problems with you. I am so sorry," he told her sheepishly.

Iris honestly didn't mind.

"You can do that, we are friends aren't we? So friends help each other." She retorted, smiling at him.

He was always so sweet and she wanted to help him.

At that moment, they were interrupted by a loud booming thunder that made the windows shake.

"And to make matters worse, it looks like the end of the world is coming." He said looking out of the window.

There was a knock on the door and the secretary entered.

"Dr Kiszka, I am sorry to interrupt your appointment but I wanted to ask you if I can try to head home before the storm begins," the woman said.

"Yes, of course Alice, sorry to have kept you here after the end of your shift. I'll close the studio, see you on Monday. Have a nice weekend." He said and waved her goodbye.

While he talked to her, Iris had time to take out of her bag something she had brought for him.

Once his attention was back on her, she spoke sheepishly

"You said you didn't have time to eat and I brought something that could help you," Iris said, embarrassed, "you can't work for so long on an empty stomach." She gave him a bag of the same chocolate bars he chose that day back in the hospital.

She remembered that taste all too well.

"This is absolutely my favourite, you remembered," he said surprised.

As if I could forget, you tasted exactly like this when you kissed me that night, she thought.

Iris felt so stupid because she couldn't stop herself from buying those chocolate bars, on the exact same day after she had come home from the hospital, but she couldn't bring herself to eat them. That memory was too painful.

So she gave them to her mother, instead.

But today she wanted to bring him something, so she bought them again and hoped they didn't melt during her walk to the studio.

"Ok I am going to eat this only if you'll have one yourself, Iris," he told her and she nodded.

She grabbed one from the bag he had just opened and unwrapped it with him. She watched him as he chewed slowly. Even the flexing of his jawline was sexy for her.

She almost choked when he noticed a bit of melted chocolate on his pointer finger and brought it to his mouth, sucking on it lightly to clean it. She had to avert her eyes from his mouth forcefully.

To distract herself, she took a bite of her chocolate, but it clouded her senses.

It reminded her of the softness of his lips on hers. She could recall their taste by heart.

Another thunder distracted her from her feelings.

The storm was approaching slowly but relentlessly.

"Thank you for this Iris. I am already feeling better now, this was exactly what I needed on this awful day." She smiled at him and told him "You are welcome Jake."

"Let's start with rehabilitation." He said, clapping his hands once.

They were working on balance exercises because the muscles of her thigh were out of training and hurt a little the more she exerted it.

Jake always told her to take things slowly, but she was growing impatient to go back to dancing and she wasn't listening to him.

After another try of keeping the position he had asked her, for more than ten seconds, a cramp stopped her efforts and she almost collapsed to the floor clutching her right thigh.

He was faster and caught her by her waist before she could crumble on the floor and helped her sit down on the couch he used to visit patients on.

Thunders were growing louder by now and she could see flashes of lightning bounce rapidly around the room.

The sky was so dark that Jake had to turn on the lights to see well. Big drops of rain were starting to fall, hitting the windows loudly.

The cramp wasn't stopping and Iris was almost on the verge of tears clutching her leg with her hands.

He guided her to lie down on the couch and started to massage the muscle of her thigh with his warm hands.

He was touching her carefully, he didn't want to hurt her more than she was already.

He kept rubbing slow circles on her skin, with different levels of pressure.

Iris was wearing shorts because of the hot temperatures so his hands were stroking her bare skin.

She couldn't deny that the touch of his hands was affecting her and she couldn't stop a little whimper from leaving her mouth when his fingertips dug deeper into her skin.

He mistook it for pain and quickly apologized.

At that moment, there was a very loud and cracking sound closeby and the light went out, abruptly.

Black out.

A lightning must have hit somewhere near the studio.

"Fantastic, this was just what we needed," she heard him mutter in an ironic tone.

The two of them were surrounded by darkness and the only source of feeble light was the very dark sky and the occasional white flash of lightning.

Her eyes started to adjust to it, quickly.

When the lightning hit, Iris had jolted up so now she was sitting on the couch and Jake was right in front of her, hands still on her thigh.

"Are you ok?" He asked kindly

"Yes," she answered, even though it was a damn big lie.

Iris wasn't OK, he was so close that she could feel his breathing fan on her cheeks and the problem was that she needed him closer.

He was staring at her now, his eyes kept flickering from her eyes to her mouth for an indefinite amount of time.

A loud thunder seemed to spur him on.

"Fuck it, I can't take this anymore," he whispered, then grabbed her face with both of his hands and unexpectedly kissed her on her lips.

Iris was so shocked that she didn't respond to the kiss right away, but, when he tried to pull away, she put a hand behind his neck, stopping him from parting from her lips.

He tasted just like the other time and she was already intoxicated.

Her other hand went into his hair, untying it delicately and stroking it, her nails slowly sinking into his scalp.

She felt him huff a little breathy sigh from his onto her cheek and she tried to bring him even closer so that their proximity was almost painful.

The kiss deepened every second more.

What started soft and simple turned heated, hot and labored.

It was a mess of fighting tongues, bumping noses, clattering teeth and biting of lips.

After a while, Iris pulled away to catch her breath.

His forehead was pressed to hers, his breathing fast and his eyes closed.

"You can't even imagine for how long I wanted to do this. You have no idea. Since that night in the hospital, I haven't been able to think about anything else." He bent his head to whisper into her ear.

She whimpered at his words, biting her lips painfully.

His eyes were boring holes into hers and she felt the urge to confess to him all of her sins.

His thumb pressed on her bottom lip, untucking it from her teeth and stayed there until she spoke.

"I have been doing the same from the moment you entered my hospital room. I can't deny it anymore. You don't know how difficult it was to have your hands on me for this long and try to restrain myself." she confessed, breathless.

He stopped her ramblings with another searing kiss but, this time, his hands wandered to her waist squeezing her flesh.

With trembling fingers, she touched his cheekbones, his nose, his neck and dragged down his lean chest only to land on his hips.

Just as her hands gripped his hips, his hands slid down her thighs making goosebumps raise on her skin.

"Oh darling, you don't even know. Right after that night, every time I came to visit you, I was afraid of not being able to control myself. I wanted to take you right there against the wall. It felt so wrong because you looked so innocent but I couldn't help myself. You got me so fucking hard that I was afraid you could notice." He whispered right on her lips.

She couldn't believe his words.

Her already wet panties were now soaked thanks to them. She had to bite her lips again so as not to moan.

Her hands lifted his tshirt lightly and came in contact with the soft and hot bare skin of his back, exploring it tentatively. With shaking fingers she traced his spine, his shoulder blades and then went back to his plush hips.

His lips trailed down her neck and when he started to suck on her pulse point, occasionally biting it then soothing it with his warm tongue, she dug her nails in his strong hips, making him groan into her neck.

His muscles twitched under her touch and before he kissed her again, another lightning illuminated his fierce features.

His mouth was agape, his chest heaving and his eyes burning.

It was almost enough to make Iris come.

His hands on her thighs trailed upwards again and he gave a good squeeze of her ass that had her biting his bottom lip mid kiss and then went under her tshirt.

"Can I take this off?" He broke the kiss and asked her.

"Please, yes," she answered out of breath and with a little smirk he did.

When, thanks to another lightning, he saw that underneath she was wearing a simple powder blue cotton bra he groaned and dropped his head to her shoulder.

"This fucking color again, you can't even imagine what this does to me." He said with a strained voice

In reality, she could.

She could feel him very well since he was pressed very close to her.

His mouth started a trail of open mouthed kisses down her shoulder and just above her breasts.

Her hands tugging lightly at his hair had him whimpering lightly.

She gripped the fabric of his tshirt and between labored breaths asked him the same question he had for her.

"Can I take this off?" She asked.

Before she could finish the sentence he had already tugged it past his head and discarded it on the floor.

She took a minute to admire him.

He was stunning.

His chest was toned but not too much, his skin was lightly tanned and so soft.

He was perfect.

The moment her lips made contact with his collarbone, the loudest thunder so far rattled the windows making her jump lightly.

She bit at his clavicle and felt his hands in her hair bringing her closer to him.

He leant his head backwards giving her access to his neck.

Iris wanted to bite him everywhere. She wanted to mark every inch of his skin.

His fingers grazed the band of her shorts and she tugged them off from her body, leaving her in just her bra and mismatching pastel green panties in front of him.

He had to close his eyes the moment he saw her like that.

"I think you are trying to kill me. Only you can make a simple pair of cotton panties look so sexy." His lips were once again at her ear.

He dragged his pointer finger on the elastic band and she couldn't help but bite her lips and dig her nails in her palms to control herself and not take his hand and push it forcefully between her legs.

Iris kissed him again and her hands started to wander on his lean chest. She grazed her fingertips on the barely there trail of hair on his soft tummy and she heard him take a sharp intake of breath when her fingertips started toying with the string of his sweatpants.

She untied it and then looked him in the eyes.

Another thunder rattled the windows.

He looked otherwordly with his hair cascading over his shoulders, golden eyes and lips slightly agape.

She wanted him to absolutely unravel her. And she was ready to beg him for it.

His hands grabbed hers and put them on his hips, signaling to her that she could take off his joggers.

Iris didn't need to be told twice and she did it, slowly.

When she accidentally brushed the elastic of his joggers on his clothed crotch, she felt him gasp and his grip on her hips tightened.

She hoped he left bruises there.

She quickly apologised, letting go of the fabric that pooled at his ankles.

Now he was standing in front of her in just his black boxers, that were growing too tight for him every passing second.

He discarded his joggers quickly and then grabbed her jaw making her stare land forcefully in his eyes.

Iris didn't expect it.

It was such a dominant gesture that she was sure wetness was starting to leak from her panties, ruining the couch underneath.

"You don't remember, do you?" He whispered practically on her lips.

"I told you that I didn't want to hear those words," he growled.

She felt bold and held eye contact with him, defying him.

"Or else? What are you going to do about it?" Iris whispered back in a sultry tone.

His grip tightened, his thumb started stroking her bottom lip and he chuckled.

"I really didn't think you could be a little devil like this. What a surprise. Fuck, you are making me even harder." He whispered and bit her neck sharply.

In that moment, she grabbed his wrist and pushed his thumb, that was resting on her bottom lip, right inside the warmth of her mouth.

A lightning illuminated her actions and his features.

He seemed on the verge of bending her over his desk and fuck her until she couldn't remember her name.

She bit down on the pad of his thumb and he growled.

"You should stop this right now if you don't want me to turn you around and absolutely rail you on this very couch until we have to start with rehabilitation all over again." He threatened, but she couldn't shut her mouth so she answered him, brushing her lips on his neck and biting his lobe.

"What if that's exactly what I want?" She answered him with a mischievous edge in her voice.

"Fuck, Iris, where have you been all this time?" He groaned.

His actions were sweet again.

He grabbed her face tenderly and kissed her slowly.

The rain outside was pouring like a flood, making them feel completely isolated in that room.

"I want you to answer me truthfully, do you really want this?" He watched her intensely in the eyes.

She almost sobbed at his words. She had been dreaming about this moment since the day she met him and she didn't think she could survive a second more without him.

"I really want this Jake. I have been dreaming about it for so long. I lost count of how many times I had to touch myself thinking about you and your hands on me, trying to ease the tension I was experiencing. It was just too much." She added embarrassed.

"You don't know what you do to me" he said chuckling, leaning his forehead against hers.

"That night after we kissed, I couldn't even get home. I had to pull over the driveway half way through the journey home. You got me so hard in that hospital room that I had to sit in my car stroking my cock like a pervert because I couldn't focus on my driving. The pain was unbearable and I had to find some release. It was too much. I didn't even make it to my house because of you." He confessed, his face heating.

The image that was playing in her mind of him stroking his hard cock in his car, fogged windows and everything, would be burned forever in her brain.

"Can I?" He asked her without breath, fingers grazing on the clasp of her bra.

"Yes, please" she told him and he moved forward between her parted legs, grinding his still clothed crotch onto hers and making her gasp at the sensation, while biting her shoulder.

The bra abandoned Iris in a second, exposing her already hardened nipples to him.

He paid diligent attention to them, bringing them into his mouth and making her squirm under his touch.

God it was the best torture ever.

Her hands went into his hair and stayed there, tugging it and making him groan onto her skin.

His hips kept grinding onto hers until it was too much for the both of them.

He stopped and spoke.

"I can't take this any longer I just need to feel you." He said into the skin of her neck.

"I need you. Please, Jake. Let me have you" she begged him, sounding on the verge of tears.

She kissed him again and bit his bottom lip lightly, making him groan.

The reality of what was going to happen downed onto her and she tensed.

He noticed.

He grabbed her shoulders gently and asked her about it.

"Hey there, Iris. What's wrong?"

When she couldn't meet his gaze, he lifted her chin softly, to look into her eyes.

"It's just…" she trailed off and blushed.

"I- I have…" she tried to formulate a sentence but her words kept tangling into her brain.

She started stuttering a little because she didn't know how to tell him.

"Calm down, no need to be nervous around me" he said stroking her cheek with a sweet smile.

Iris took a deep breath and spoke.

"It's been a lot since I last was with anyone like this," she gestured with her trembling hands between the two of them, her eyes not meeting his.

"And I always had terrible experiences, for that matter. All I ever felt was pain." She confessed, hiding her face behind her hands, with a groan.

Just the thought of it brought back bad memories and a little lonely tear started its journey down her cheek.

He gently lifted her face to look into her eyes.

He was studying her face with a pained expression.

He brushed away that lonely tear and kissed her.

He was so sweet he almost didn't feel real.

He broke away from her and spoke, looking her in the eyes.

"I am really sorry to hear this, Iris. I firmly believe that some people should never be allowed near a woman's body." He said, stroking her cheek.

"If you still want this I can promise you that I am going to be gentle, but please don't feel like you have to do it, ok? I don't want to push you and make you do something you don't want," He told her, sweetly, cradling her face with his warm hands.

Iris kissed him again.

"I really want this, Jake. Make me forget about those awful experiences, please," she whispered onto his lips.

He smirked at her words

"It'll be a real pleasure, darling." He purred into her ear, making goosebumps raise on her skin.

The storm was raging outside, the wind was howling and the rain was hitting the windows in full force.

With that sentence, he started kissing her breasts again, lightly nibbling at her skin and eliciting soft mewls from her.

Then, his lips trailed lower, making the air catch in her throat.

He knelt in front of her, grabbed the ankle of her non-injured leg and placed her foot on the side of the couch exposing her to him.

He growled a low "Fuck, Iris" seeing how wet she was. She knew it showed through her panties, she could feel it, too.

He stroked his thumb on the wet fabric and bit the underside of her thigh at the same time.

It was too much teasing for her.

She was about to explode.

In a second, he was again eye level with her still stroking her lightly through her panties.

"What do you need? Show me." He almost moaned in her mouth.

Iris grabbed his wrist and unceremoniously pushed his hand inside her panties.

She didn't care if she looked desperate.

They gasped at the same time and she had to lean her forehead onto his shoulder not to fall from the couch.

"Oh God, Jake." she moaned breathlessly.

His fingers dragged her panties down her legs, slowly discarding them on the floor and he started touching her delicately.

His hot fingers stroked lightly on her slit and she were panting already.

"So wet for me." He whispered and she whimpered.

His thumb rubbed on her clit and she kissed him again to stop her moans. He continued his torture by biting and sucking on her breasts, making her hands fly to his hair, gripping him hard to keep him close to her.

His fingers kept a steady pace between her legs and she mentally thanked the storm for muffling the unholy drenched sounds of his fingers.

Suddenly, he stopped.

She whined at the loss of contact but he silenced her quickly with his mouth on hers.

"Have you ever tasted yourself?" He whispered into her ear and her jaw almost dropped to the floor.

She told him a sheepish no and he smirked.

"Not even when you are all alone touching yourself?" He asked further.

She shook her head no, embarrassed.

"Do you want to?" He asked smugly.

This time she simply nodded, unable to utter a single sound.

His hand came in contact with her core once again and he collected some of her arousal then brought his fingers to her lips and spread it across them like it was a lip gloss.

"Open up for me," he commanded and she obliged.

He pushed his fingers in her mouth delicately and she started sucking on them before he even told her to do it.

Iris moaned his name around them and saw something snap in him, the muscle of his jaw clenching.

He pulled them out and kissed her breathlessly, tasting her in the process and humming.

He didn't waste time, he dropped to his knees right in front of her drenched pussy.

"Are you ok with this, Iris?" He asked in a strained tone.

It was taking all he had to restrain himself from delving right in.

"Please, Jake." She told him through clenched teeth.

He winked at her from down there, wetting his lips slowly for her to see. Then he grabbed her ass, dragging her to the edge of the couch to have better access. He placed her left foot on his shoulder, brought both of his hands to her, spreading her lower lips open with his thumbs and delivered a broad slow lick of his hot tongue flat on her.

She screamed, pushing her head backwards at the same time of a booming thunder and immediately clamped her left hand on her mouth.

The right one was holding her up from behind her for dear life.

He stopped and grabbed her left arm, making her drop the hand from her mouth.

Holding a devilish eye contact, he put her hand on his head and she immediately started stroking his soft hair.

"Please, let me hear you, I don't want you to hold back. Your hand needs to stay here, ok? You can pull my hair as much as you want but, please, don't put this hand on your mouth." He begged her and she shivered.

She nodded, unable to speak and he dived back in, this time pointing his tongue and attacking her clit with rapid strokes.

When he sucked on it, Iris was done.

She pushed her hand to the back of his neck keeping him there and, between labored breaths, she whispered his name over and over again, while he kept licking at her skin through it. Her body bent forward and he steadied her with hands on her hips.

When she started squirming away from his mouth, he moved his mouth from her center and sucked a mark on the skin of her inner thigh, letting her catch her breath.

After a while, she was still panting and her legs were still shaking, but she looked down and she was ready to start it all over again.

He looked absolutely indecent with disheveled hair sticking onto his forehead, his nose, mouth and chin shining because of her with every bolt of lightning and a proud smirk on his plush lips.

Iris knew what was coming even before he started speaking.

"Ready for round two?" He asked, licking his lips, voice hoarse and eyes burning.

This man is going to kill me.

Before she could gather the courage to answer, he delivered a sharp suck on her clit, making her hiss.

She whimpered a light "yes" and his mouth was on her, again.

Both of her hands were behind her, steading her, granting him full control.

Her eyes were trained on him and she saw his hand sneak into his boxers, making him hiss sharply against her.

She noticed how his arm started a low steady rhythm on himself.

He was touching himself, while eating her out.

It was undeniably sexy and so dirty.

And then, abruptly, everything stopped.

_______________________________________

Next chapter

Taglist:

@why-ami-on-here @hellowgoodbye @sammyslappers @spark-my-nature @jessicafg03 @highladyofasgard @sparrowofthedawnsworld @doodle417

[allthecanadianpolitics]

A growing number of patients who request medical assistance in dying are asking to donate their organs for transplant, says an international review that found that Canada is performing the most organ transplants from MAID patients among the four countries studied that offer this practice.

The report is the first-ever review of the growing use of this new practice around the world. The review was conducted in 2021 and the results were formally published in December 2022.

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“We saw everyone is working in different directions. And then we said ‘OK, well, let's start an international (discussion) of all the countries involved,’” said Dr. Johannes Mulder, a physician and MAID provider in Zwolle, Netherlands, in an interview with CTV News.

Data collected for the paper shows that in Canada, Belgium, the Netherlands and Spain, combined, 286 assisted-death recipients provide lifesaving organs for transplant to 837 patients in the years up to and including 2021.

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Doctors in Canada, where medical assistance in dying (MAID) was decriminalized in 2016, performed almost half of the world’s organ transplants after MAID for that period (136), according to the publication.

Data from the Canadian Institute for Health Information confirms this new source of transplant organs accounted accounts for six per cent of all transplants from deceased donors in Canada in 2021. Some transplants, like those for kidneys and livers, can be done with patients who are alive.

“I was rather proud that Canada has done so well in terms of organ donation by MAID patients,” said Arthur Schafer, director of the Centre for Professional and Applied Ethics at the University of Manitoba, in an interview with CTV News.

With more than 4,000 Canadians waiting for organ transplants, some of whom are dying, he says Canada’s numbers show a strong move to turn death into a win-win.

“So I say, 'Good on us.' It’s a wonderful opportunity for someone facing death to make something significant out of the end of their life,” said Schafer.

PATIENT-DRIVEN TREND

The international review on this new practice has been overwhelmingly driven by patients who are suffering from irreversible degenerative diseases, like amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) and Parkinson’s.

“If this body has deserted me, I could do something good,” is how Mulder says patients frame their decision.

Canadian ALS patient Sharron Demchuk donated her kidneys and lungs after her medically assisted death in September of 2021. Her family says she herself pushed her doctors to consider a way she could help people after she died, becoming the first in New Brunswick to do so.

“She kept doing follow-ups, kept pushing and even though she wasn’t able to speak, she would make notes for my dad. ‘Here’s what I want you to ask them. Here’s what I want you to say,’” her daughter, Darlene Demchuk, told CTV News last year.

One of the goals of the international report, says Mulder, was to share information openly on how countries are managing this controversial and evolving new practice, including the tricky ethical and logistical issues of consent from vulnerable patients.

“What should you do, or what should what shouldn't you do? And how to keep the whole project completely voluntary,” he said of some of the concerns, noting that patients should never be pressured to choose MAID to increase the availability of donor organs.

That is a worry shared by Trudo Lemmens, a professor in health law and policy at the University of Toronto.

He points to statistics showing more than 35 per cent of Canadians who died by MAID in 2021 felt they were "a burden on family, friends or caregivers” according to a Health Canada report.

“I am concerned that people who struggle with a lack of self-esteem and self-worth may be pushed to see this as an opportunity to mean something,” said Lemmens in an email comment to CTV News.

With other countries like Australia eyeing medical assistance in dying along with organ donations, Mulder says public trust in this new medical practice must be developed and maintained.

“That’s why guidelines are necessary and should also be strict,”’ the doctor said.

[oediex]

If anyone is in need of some good news re: abortion

There is currently a discussion within the government of Belgium to extend the possibility of abortion beyond the current 12-week period.

Abortion was legalised in Belgium in 1990. At the time, the then-king of Belgium refused to ratify the law (this is usually just a formality) due to ethical objections. This was resolved by declaring the king "incapable of reigning" for a short time, which allowed the then-federal ministers to ratify the law themselves.

Currently, abortion is possible up to 12 weeks of pregnancy. The person wishing to end their pregnancy will have a consultation with a psychosocial health care professional to discuss it. There is then a 6-day period in which the person has the time to think it all over. You can take more than 6 days as well, but that is the minimum required. After that, you can have your abortion either at an abortion centre, or at a hospital (when there is a danger for the health of the person undergoing the abortion, or when that person wishes to have it done under anaesthesia, or when it's past the 12 weeks). There are currently 7 abortion centres in Flanders (about half of Belgium, approx. 6 million people).

Abortion beyond 12 weeks of pregnancy is legal under certain circumstances, such as when the health of the pregnant person is at risk or when it is known the unborn baby has an incurable illness.

Illegal abortion can lead to a fine or imprisonment for both the doctor and the person undergoing abortion.

Minors can have an abortion without permission from their parents.

The whole procedure is 4 euros if you've got health insurance. Note that every person living in Belgium is required to have health insurance, which is very cheap - about 8-9 euros per month, with tons of benefits. Without health insurance, it's between 100 and 550 euros (depending on where it's done).

The person undergoing abortion can also be seen at an additional appointment afterwards if such need arises. You can always go to an abortion centre afterwards as well, for both physical and mental support. They will also support you in choosing the right contraception afterwards.

That's the current situation. Here's what the discussion is mainly about:

Extending the maximum period to either 14 or 18 weeks. The 14 weeks is what the christian centre party currently part of the coalition is accepting (this changed recently, before they did not want to extend it at all). 18 weeks is what the other coalition parties want and what has been suggested by an expert committee made up of scientists. Most of these experts actually suggest it should be extend to 20 or even 22 weeks, but 18 is what they presented to the government (because of 1 expert).

Other notable suggestions the expert committee has presented (there are a total of 25 points):

More effort with regards to prevention, education, and access to contraception

certain contraception methods, such as coils or implants, to be free for longer (some of them are currently free until 18, some until 25, etc.)

The 6 days to "think it over" between the first discussion and the actual abortion should go

easier access to abortion medication

decriminalise the person undergoing abortion or doing an abortion themselves when it is done illegally

Source (in Dutch)

[a-room-of-my-own]

Most children who believe that they are transgender are just going through a “phase”, the NHS has said, as it warns that doctors should not encourage them to change their names and pronouns.

NHS England has announced plans for tightening controls on the treatment of under 18s questioning their gender, including a ban on prescribing puberty blockers outside of strict clinical trials.

The services, which will replace the controversial Tavistock clinic, will be led by medical doctors rather than therapists and will consider the impact of other conditions such as autism and mental health issues.

The plans, which are currently under public consultation, are for an interim service for young people with gender dysphoria whilst Dr Hilary Cass continues her review into the treatment offered by the NHS.

They note that there is a need to change the services because there is currently “scarce and inconclusive evidence to support clinical decision-making”.

NHS England says that the interim Cass Report has advised that even social transition, such as changing a young person’s name and pronouns or the way that they dress, is not a “neutral act” that could have “significant effects” in terms of “psychological functioning”.

Parent groups and professionals have long raised concerns that NHS medics have taken an “affirmative” approach to treating children, including using their preferred names and pronouns.

Be mindful of 'transient phase'

The proposals say that the new clinical approach will for younger children “reflect evidence that in most cases gender incongruence does not persist into adolescence” and doctors should be mindful this might be a “transient phase”.

Instead of encouraging transition, medics should take “a watchful approach” to see how a young person’s conditions develop, the plans state.

When a prepubescent child has already socially transitioned, “the clinical approach has to be mindful of the risks of an inappropriate gender transition and the difficulties that the child may experience in returning to the original gender role upon entering puberty if the gender incongruence does not persist”.

For adolescents, social transition will only be considered when it is necessary for preventing “clinically significant distress” and when a young person “is able to fully comprehend the implications of affirming a social transition”, says NHS England.

It adds that before medics change a young person's name and pronouns, a teenager should have been diagnosed with gender dysphoria.

The public consultation documents say that change is necessary against a backdrop of a sharp rise in referrals to the gender identity service, from just under 250 in 2011-12 to over 5,000 last year.

In recent years there has also been a spike, with “the number of referrals currently at 8.7 per 100,000 population per year in 2021-22 compared to four per 100,000 in 2020-21 and 4.5 per 100,000 in 2019-20”.

Tavistock closure

The health service first announced in July that it would be closing the Tavistock and replacing it with two regional centres based in specialist children’s hospitals.

The move is aimed at taking a more “holistic” approach to treating children and looking at the reasons why they are questioning their gender.

It is expected that the regional centres will be operating by the spring, whilst long-term plans for the gender identity services for under 18s, based on the final recommendation of the Cass review, will come into effect in 2023-24.

Rather than being delivered by therapists and hormone specialists, the new clinical teams will include experts “in paediatric medicine, autism, neurodisability and mental health”.

The proposals note that a “significant proportion of children” who are referred for treatment have neuro-development issues or family of social problems.

The new treatment teams will be led by a medical doctor and the service will only take referrals from GPs and other NHS professionals.

NHS England will also “strongly discourage” young people from buying hormones from private clinicians and will not accept clinical responsibility for the treatment of those who have done so.

The consultation on the plans closes in December.