god the men you put on this earth to play minecraft are forming deep emotional connections full of love and respect with each other, reminding us all that love does exist in a world that's been branded by cruelty and capitalism
ive been rewatching alot of x-life stuff recently and joel talking about being a fan of hermitcraft and not knowing the hermits very well and not thinking hed ever be invited feels so insane
bunch of illustrations i randomly did for my old 12k T narumitsu/wrightworth fic set in the 7 year gap, which i wrote in 2020 :-) also set in the christmas/new year's eve period
hey i know your post about your mom was mostly just a personal vent, but i have to say, do you realize that also happens with trans girls and their fathers? literally happened to one of my friends. i’m not trying to downplay your experience or something but i found it strange that you seem to think this is something that only affects transmascs
i have one question for you: so fucking what?
i don’t doubt that trans girls have experienced similar things and yeah, that’s bad too, but what the fuck does that have to do with me and the specific things i’m facing as a result of being a trans man? i never said “look at this thing that happens to ONLY trans men and NO ONE ELSE,” i just said “hey, isn’t this thing that happens to a lot of trans men, including myself, fucked up?”
i would also like to point out that what you’re talking about is in fact a different (albeit similar) thing. the way cis people treat trans people can differ dramatically based on the cis person’s gender because their commitment to gender roles is, like, a major part of problem. the specific way a cis mother reacts to her trans son’s transition is often going to be very distinct, while a cis father will likely respond to his trans daughter in a different but equally distinct way.
what i’m talking about is a very specific kind of ownership and control and self-victimization and total lack of boundaries masquerading as love and care and maternal concern that cis women (i would argue white cis women in particular) project onto their transmasc kids when we do literally anything to our bodies. i’m talking about a phenomenon which is closely related to the way moms often pass eating disorders onto their daughters (or children they view as daughters) because they see a body that looks something like theirs and project all of their insecurities and ideals onto it. i’m talking about a form of parental transphobia and projection that’s specific to the dynamic of a cis mother and her child who was “supposed to” be her daughter.
if you’ve never felt that, you’re not even remotely qualified to tell me shit about how i should be talking about that experience, and if you couldn’t recognize that experience when you read my post, i’m guessing you probably haven’t experienced it because the replies to that post made it very clear to me that anyone who has experienced it firsthand immediately knew exactly what i meant.
like, yeah, cis dads also project onto their trans daughters, but are they likely to have a reaction like running away with actual tears streaming down their face? do you expect them to passive aggressively make comments about how sad their kid’s transition makes them, how it’s such a difficult emotional time, how it’s so tragic because their kid’s body was so beautiful before? do you think their go-to transphobic reaction will be weaponizing their emotions? i’m sure there are some dads out there who are like that, but i think we can agree they’re in the minority because that’s not how cis men are taught to react and parents like this tend to be pretty damn committed to following the gender roles they were taught.
and even if i’m wrong and our experiences are exactly the same, let me reiterate that i never said this was an experience exclusive to trans men. all i said is that it happens to us. that’s just a statement of objective fact.
this started in my life when i got my hair cut short for the first time almost a decade ago and it has not stopped since. i’ve watched my mom cry over me changing my name and respond to being asked if my happiness matters more to her than my name by saying “i care about both”, i’ve watched her melt down in a mall over me getting a suit for prom and give me the silent treatment for days after, i’ve heard her plead with me to stop t because it “looks unnatural” and she’s just so “concerned for my health”, i’ve watched her stare at me post-op and say “my poor baby” over and over like she’s looking at my corpse in a casket. i’ve watched her turn herself into the victim of every single aspect of my transition. i’ve had to live with this for 9 years and spent the early years of the pandemic literally locked in a house with it. this has been my entire adolescent and adult life, and the question of if i’ll have to cut her off someday (and maybe never see my cat or my little cousins who i love more than anything in the world ever again as a result) haunts me every single day.
who the fuck are you to tell me how to talk about that?
So, here's this little thing I've been making over the past few days! 👉👈 I've never made an animatic before, but this was so fun and I'm super proud of the end result!! 🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖
[❤️ Reblogs are all seen and greatly appreciated!! Some individual frames as well as tag list will be under the cut! 💚]
I refuse to believe that kusuo never tried to lose on purpose in one of kusukes games
a lot of people say that he probably was too egocentric to lose but man, ku gives up on things without thinking twice just for the sake of the others
just like when he gave up on satou when he and hii got together (the only example I can come with rn but there is a lot more)
and don't get me wrong, kusuo IS egocentric, but he knows where to trace a line he has a moral code and the principal rule is "don't be an inconvenience to the others"
so there is no way he didn't tried before
kusuke saw through his facade?
kusuke is insane and a masoquist and he has some suicidal behaviour aaand
I can see him telling kusuo to never try to fake a lost again or else he will off himself
idk he just yk, he's emotionally abusive and he's too obsessed with the idea of kusuo and him playing deathly games
TOO obsessed
he even took himself as hostage and he also kidnapped and brainwashed one of his brothers friends
he would say something like that
but I also believe that he wasn't aware of the heigh of those words
(I believe that he isn't aware of the heigh of all his actions, he just have a really twisted view of what is wrong and right)
I see this kind of scenario happening when they were young, when kusuo stopped copying his older brother (the motorcycle, the little cardboard robot, rock papper scissors, guys he was copying his older brother cuz he thought he was cool) and started to feel some resentment or even pity towards him
kusuke wouldn't take pityness very well, resentment? dont care, being hated? kay whatever but feeling any form of empathy or pity?????
it makes him sick
so he would say something like that but the thing is that he sees his brother as a God who is superior to every other living being
so he thinks that it isn't a big deal because his God had more important things to take care of
wrooooong, your God it's your baby bro who is just a child who used to admire you a lot before you started to get more and more insane progressively and the thing you just said it's fucking up his head because the love and hate he has for you were the strongest feelings his baby brain could feel and now he cannot come up with a way to make you stop envying or feeling resentful cuz of his powers (that he did not choose to born with in the first place) without making you have a meltdown that will end up with you killing yourself
i often really do feel like an .. unwanted part of the fandom, i dont draw beautiful landscapes, i have unpopular but strong opinions im constantly annoying about and rarely change, dont like/dont draw the pretty young popular twinks and hot gurls to fanboi over nor do i turn characters into one, the opposite moreso, draw only one ship no ones heard of really, got little energy to interact with the few people that are nice to me and send me asks so it probably looks like im ignoring everyone and unfortunately but still rarely get so stressed i get overwhelmed and emotional about pehaps seemingly minor things and spiral almost into a breakdown feeling super embarrassed about it afterwards but the damage is already done and i look like a freak or agressive weirdo
Having late night angst Pharma thoughts and I think besides wanting to write a scene where Pharma lashes out in anger, and scenes where he does his crazy evil doctor persona to keep pretending he doesn't care, I also do want that scenario to eventually include peeling Pharma open emotionally somehow to get him to actually say his real emotions with no pretense
I'm not sure what scenario would lead to that or what would be an in character way for Pharma to express his grievances. Out of all the things he's angry/upset about which one hurts the most? Getting betrayed by Ratchet? None of the other Autobots caring about him either? Being made to murder people and possibly never getting to be a doctor again as a result?
Canon focuses mostly on the thing with Ratchet but I do think a Pharma centric scenario should delve deeper. After all even if Pharma is in love with Ratchet, it's boring and bad writing if EVERYTHING revolves around Ratchet and Pharma doesn't have thoughts/feelings about other things
So again, idk how it would be voiced in character or what scenario could lead to it, but I'd like to somehow see Pharma stripped down to the actual agonizing hurt and grief that you could read into his actions like.....
Ratchet left him alone to go to Delphi, then abandoned him again after Delphi and didn't even bother looking for his body after presuming him dead. If that's how Ratchet treated him after a lifetime of friendship, did he ever actually care about Pharma?
Is it any wonder that all the other Autobots left him for dead and treated him like a monster if not even Pharma's own best friend cared about him or was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt?
If Ratchet tries to patch things up, is he doing it because he actually cares or just to assuage his own guilty conscience? If he said he was sorry, would Pharma believe it/would it make him feel any better, or is it too little too late?
Why is it that Pharma's endless fate is to be left alone, facing down torture and coercion, alone, with no one who's his friend and barely anyone who even thinks he's tolerable/doesn't outright hate him?
(In a post-LL/Pharma doesn't die scenario) What is it about Pharma that makes him so despicable but people (especially Ratchet) are willing to tolerate and even befriend people like Drift or Megatron who did things as bad or worse? (No hate to them this is just a 'what if' angle of Pharma coming into this scenario)
Bc on one hand not giving a shit and being arrogant are valid parts of Pharma's character, but on the other hand there's a good amount of canon evidence implying that Pharma wasn't always Like That and even evidence that his crazy doctor thing was an act he was putting on. So why not write something about Pharma getting to voice insecurity, loneliness, betrayal, etc?