#or you could pick both cos it could start out one way and evolve into the other

[silhouettecrow]

365 Days of Writing Prompts: Day 133

Adjective: Dulcet

Noun: Bloom

Definitions for those who need/want them:

Dulcet: (often ironic) (especially of sound) sweet and soothing

Bloom: a flower, especially one cultivated for its beauty; the state or period of flowering; the state or period of greatest beauty, freshness, or vigor; a youthful or healthy glow in a person's complexion; a delicate powdery surface deposit on certain fresh fruits, leaves, or stems; a grayish-white appearance on chocolate caused by cocoa butter rising to the surface; a rapid growth of microscopic algae or cyanobacteria in water, often resulting in a colored scum on the surface; a full bright sound, especially in a musical recording

[bradshawssugarbaby]

She's in Love with the Boy - Jake Seresin x OC

A/N: This is part two in my series She Had Me at Heads Carolina, I don't know why I see country music + hangman as a thing (ok so maybe I do know why) but here we are. I wrote this half awake this morning and it's probably a lot less cute than I think it is.

tagging: @mamachasesmayhem for the update lol

pairing: Lt. Jake Seresin x fem! OC

warnings/content: literally just Jake drunkenly singing 90s country music badly again

word count: 2.4k

 It had been two days since your beach trip, and you were thinking over the past 48 hours as you sat at your vanity, brushing your hair out before getting ready to go out that night.

Courtney had been far more bold than you were at the beach that day, having gone home with Bradley as soon as it was offered. You knew she was crazy for him already just by the way she looked at him. She’d always been one of those love at first sight types, the kind who believes in soulmates and finding that perfect person who makes you swoon with one look. It didn’t typically work out for her, wearing her heart on her sleeve and being so head over heels in love every time, but, this one occasion, you really hoped it did. She hadn’t talked about anything but him for the last day and a half it’d been since she got home - he’d been the perfect gentleman, driving her home the next morning in his 1972 Ford Bronco, dropping her off and seeing that she got inside ok, even though it was broad daylight and you and Stephanie were both still home. 

Stephanie had been texting with Bob ever since, giggling and blushing at the small screen every so often. Where Courtney over shared about her time with Rooster, Stephanie undershared about her relationship with Bob. She kept her lips sealed about just about everything, including their date yesterday morning. Bob had shown up in uniform to pick her up on his way into the base, wanting to take her for breakfast before they both had to go into work for the day. 

As far as you and Jake went, you’d been exchanging text messages back and forth with one another. It started with Jake sending you a “Hey there Heads Carolina,” to you responding with “Does that make you Tails California?” From there, it evolved into a near constant back and forth between the two of you, swapping country playlists and favourite songs, facts about your lives back home, yourselves, your likes, your dislikes. You weren’t normally one to fall in love instantly, but after two days of exchanging texts, you found yourself dying to see him again. He’d apologized for not taking you out yet, he’d been called in for an early briefing the first day, and yesterday he’d been stuck late working on something, none of which you could know any details about.  Courtney and Stephanie had tried reassuring you that he was interested in you, but part of you wondered if maybe it was just Jake being too polite to tell you he didn’t want to see you again.

Your phone had buzzed violently against the wooden top of your vanity a couple of hours ago, vibrating and moving across the slick, matte white finish of the furniture. You looked down and saw it was Jake, or as you’d saved him in your phone, Tails, California.

“Hey sweets, I was wondering if you’re free tonight. Karaoke at The Hard Deck. I need a duet partner. I’d sing with Rooster, but he’s a spotlight hog.”

“I can come, but that singing on the beach was a one time thing. I felt bad you were getting roasted alive.”

“I’m not that bad.”

“Really?”

“Are you not going to feel bad if I get booed off stage tonight? I might end up getting drunk and singing Amazed or something.”

“Oh God, can’t have you butchering poor Lonestar. The whole state of Texas might shun you. I’ll be there.”

“Thanks sweets, karaoke starts at 7. I’ll be there a little earlier.”

You breathed a sigh of relief as you realized that Jake hadn’t been avoiding you on purpose. You were never the type to get in too deep after one meeting, but something about Jake had you completely taken by him. You couldn’t put your finger on it, but you could feel the infatuation with him brewing whenever you thought about him. You scrolled through your phone and settled on a country playlist you’d built years ago during college, back when you still lived in Tennessee. You hadn’t even been remotely interested in it in years before the beach, but since Jake got you singing along with him, you found yourself wanting to revisit it for the nostalgia. Plus, you wanted to make sure you didn’t humiliate yourself on karaoke night by not knowing the words to 90s country songs, which were all probably fair game if Jake was choosing.

As the opening notes of She’s In Love With The Boy began filling your room, you hummed the familiar tune. You picked a sweet, pale blue daisy print sundress from your closet, pulling its thin fabric over your head as you got dressed. You began rummaging through your closet, praying you hadn’t left any boxes of shoes at your parents house back in Tennessee as you looked for the perfect compliment to your outfit. Pulling out a pair of classic cognac brown cowboy boots, you gave yourself an eyeroll as you put them on, unable to deny you were doing it purely to impress him. You turned to yourself in the mirror and examined your outfit. Your hair was curled and neatly pushed back off your face with a baby blue headband,  one that perfectly matched hue of your dress. Your makeup was simple and natural, a nice compliment to the vibe of the dress you’d chosen. As you nodded your head once, you grabbed your phone, turning your music off. 

A short drive later, you were at The Hard Deck with Courtney and Stephanie in tow, looking for Jake and his friends. Bob waved you all over with a friendly smile, and Stephanie practically ran to him. He put his arm around her affectionately and kissed her cheek. He handed her a drink and smiled. 

“Hey, I know Rooster’s up at the bar, Courtney,” Bob said with a nod towards where Bradley was standing. Bradley waved excitedly, his aviator sunglasses clipped to his white tank top under his open Hawaiian print dress shirt. Bob was sporting a simple jeans and oxford-blue dress shirt combo, with the sleeves of his shirt rolled up to his elbows, showing off his somewhat surprisingly muscular arms. He smiled as he pointed to the dart board where Jake was standing on the other side of the bar, sporting a Texas Longhorns baseball jersey, light washed denim jeans and cowboy boots. 

“Hangman’s currently mopping the floor with Coyote in darts right now. I don’t know how that guy does it, but he hits bullseye every time. It’s literally my job to hit targets and I can’t even do it as accurately as he does every time in darts,” Bob shakes his head in disbelief as he laughs. “He should be almost done, I think. I don’t really know how long a game of darts goes on for?”

You politely excused yourself from your friends for a moment, heading over to where Jake was standing. He leaned in to his step, tossing another perfectly thrown dart at the board again. 

“Nice shot,” you said cooly as you looked at him.

“Hey! I figured I’d play some darts until you got here,” Jake laughed softly as he nodded his head before setting the darts down and leaning on the high top table that his drink sat on. 

“Courtney and Stephanie were invited too, so we just carpooled down, took us a bit longer than I’d hoped because Courtney couldn’t decide what outfit Rooster would like better on her,” You shook your head as you thought about how silly it sounded when you said it out loud, “She really likes him, wants to make a good impression.”

“Oh trust me, he hasn’t shut the fuck up about how great she is over the last two days. It’s kind of cute in a way though. Also kind of annoying in a way but I’m letting it slide because he’s in love,” Jake smirked as he put the amber coloured glass bottle to his lips, taking a sip, “You can tell her though, he doesn’t care what she’s wearing. He’s going to respond the same way if she shows up in a trash bag.” 

“Noted. Stephanie is getting all giggly over Bob, but I she’s always giggly and blushing so it’s hard to tell with her. She’s not as…open as Courtney is. Although, I think she’s pretty smitten since he took her for breakfast yesterday and picked her up in his uniform. That alone probably sold her.”

“Oh she liked that? That was my idea. Bob’s a little shy and a little…inexperienced when it comes to dating. Figured I’d help the poor bastard out a little bit on that one. He really likes her.” 

“Your idea?”

“Yeah, he had to meet me yesterday for a training exercise, but I told him I could stall for an hour if he wanted to take her out or something. I suggested he just wear his uniform, because girls apparently love men in uniform. And I clearly wasn’t wrong,” Jake’s smile was smug, yet genuine as he shrugged his shoulders.

“What are you, some kind of professional matchmaker?” You retorted dryly as you raised an eyebrow at him, trying to hide the fact that you were about to break out into a grin.

“Nah, I just know the poor guy needs the extra push, ya know?” Jake set his beer down as his eyes scanned over your body, taking in your outfit choice for the evening, “You look fantastic, sugar. You even brought out your cowboy boots?” 

“I thought I left them back home, but I found them in the back of the closet, I haven’t worn them since I finished college. Even then, it was just for bars and homecoming. I’m amazed they fit.”

“Hey, I appreciate a good boot,” He nodded, gesturing to his own matching pair of cowboy boots. “Especially if we’re gonna be belting out another classic tonight. I have to see what our options are up there. Any preferences? I think we’re up after Payback and Fanboy. Not really a tough act to follow. The only one of us who can actually carry a fuckin’ tune is Rooster. Not fair he gets to look good with a mustache and sing,” Jake says as he mockingly pouts and rolls his eyes before grinning again. 

“Aw, jealous are we?” You teased, folding your arms across your chest as you raised your eyebrow at Jake.

“Only because when I grow a mustache like that, I look like an 80s porn star,” He shakes his head and laughs, “C’mon, let’s go get a drink and get closer to the stage so we can see what we’re up against.”

He took your hand in his, and you couldn’t help but notice how perfectly your hand fit in his. He smiled at the bartender, a pretty brunette woman, older than you both but by how much, you couldn’t be sure.

“Penny, m’dear, can I get another beer and whatever Lauren here wants to drink?” He smiled at you before turning back to face Penny, nodding his head as he handed her his credit card. “Here, I’ll save myself the trouble and just leave this with you,” He laughed and put his wallet back in his pocket. 

Jake handed you your drink and smiled as he tilted his head back towards the makeshift stage, where two men were currently butchering the entire melody of ‘Yeah!’ by Usher. 

“Tweedledee and tweedledum over here are almost finished up, it’s us next. You ready? Pick a song yet?” His green eyes looked at you full of intrigue as he awaited your reply.

“The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia?” 

Jake flipped through the options and shook his head, “Nope.”

“Chattahoochee?”

“You want me to get up on stage and sing that opening verse about the river being hotter than a hoochie coochie?”

“Good point,” You laughed and shook your head, feeling the humiliation at the mere suggestion of it now that he’s brought it up. 

“She’s In Love With The Boy is on here. That’s a good one.”

“You wanna sing Trisha Yearwood? Can your voice go that high?”

“Absolutely not but it’s that or I down another beer and start belting out Neon Moon by Brooks and Dunn with or without you.”

“Fair enough, Trisha Yearwood it is.”

“Her daddy says, “he ain’t worth a lick, when it comes to brains he’s got the short end of the stick,” you belted out with as much passion as you and your cocktail could muster.

“But Katie’s young and man she just don’t care, she’d follow Tommy anywhere” Jake harmonized with his adorably out of key baritone, trying to carry the note as best as he could.

“My daddy said, you wasn’t worth a lick, when it came to brains you got the short end of the stick–”

“but he was wrong and honey you are too, Katie looks at Tommy, like I still look at you.”

“She’s in love with the boy, she’s in love with the boy.”

As you and Jake continued to finish the last verse of the beloved country song, you couldn’t help but think about the words. You looked over to Jake who shot you a grin while he gripped his microphone, giving the final line as much as he could as he sang it out. 

“What’s meant to be will always find a way, she’s gonna marry that boy someday.”

You took note of the way the makeshift spotlight highlighted his dark blonde hair and sunkissed skin, his green eyes shining brightly, and the unmistakeable grin of someone having the absolute time of their life on his face. He looked even better in this light than he did on the beach the other day, cowboy boots, off-key singing and all. The more you thought about it, the more you thought that maybe, just maybe, the song might have been more than just a song you chose for karaoke. Whether you wanted to admit it or not, maybe you were in fact in love with the boy this time.

[digimonadventurezero]

Well...

Not sure how many people are still following this blog, or rather who's still interested on those headcanons + ideas i had in the past...

But Rui's existence goes against ▽ events and i'd like to clarify that i don't think it's a TOTAL RETCON like a ton of people are either celebrating or complaining.

I'd like to give you my own "solution" to keep Maki and Daigo + their group existing in the timeline.

First, the frustrating part about working with ▽ events and them is that there's no information about their respective ages, and we saw them in Uni as well. A friend of mine pointed this out as the biggest problem to use ▽ as it is. You either pick it or 02TB. My research about the said backstory scenes in pt4 led me to discover that... those scenes also are hard to know when they take place.

Not even the ref sheets has a single age or grad to get an approximated age for them, or when those scenes took place. They only state that those two designs are from "Elementary School" and "University" -- but the Elementary grades are not even here!? Unlike the Adv'99 & 02 kids' profiles in their respective series, which listed at least their school grades so you could know they're around their 10s.

But we know the original lore from Adv'99 + 02 -- there were other groups before Taichi & Daisuke's. One of them were depicted in Adv'99 anime and novel -- a group of five kids, and four of them got their partners evolved into the Holy Beasts (according to the Adv'99 novel). This is also used in ▽ pt4, at least. They changed a few details alas, but my point is... Until here it's everything OKAY, right?

The problem starts with the Uni scene and them being Data Bureau agents in 2005. It could mean they're way older than Taichi -- including Rui (who's a leap baby from 1992!) and this would get in conflict with their own Digi-Adventure flashbacks. Many people believed they weren't from the 90s but before the 90s because of that. You could then think they had no relation to the math lore or something, but then the presence of Homeostasis in that cold-opening for pt4 and the digivice model makes things EVEN WORSE to work with.

But like i said, i love both Maki-Daigo and Rui so i want them to co-exist. Hence why i'm believing in a partial retcon in terms of those two's ages. And it's quite recently that we all got more info about the math lore, and more confusing statements in the end...

Anyway, my solution is:

Maki-Daigo's group is indeed the quintet mentioned in Adv'99 & Novels. They were around Adv!Taichi's age when they went to the DW but possibly the other three in the group were either 2 or 3 years older. Maybe they're like the 02 kids, and weren't chosen exactly in the same year? Possibly the oldies were the other 3 who got mons alongside Menoa (she's the same age as Taichi and got her mon in 97), But Daigo and Maki got their mons in 98, alongside other 7 people...? And their Adventure was indeed in 1998.

Daigo's love confession scene has no calendars or anything to point the year he had confessed his love for her, besides being SNOWING outside -- so it's probably Winter. They're said to be Uni students, so my conclusion is...

... That the Data Bureau possibly recruited them around that time, and they're not even in their 30s in ▽? They might be even 19 years old, and only got high roles in the Data Bureau because of their title as Chosen Children and connection with Homeo + Gennai.

They aren't the first ones, but actually they might be the first group of kids who went to the DW instead.

This is my own solution for the problem. Again, I'd prefer to believe in a soft retcon or changes from the events -- in which said events in the timeline weren't presented as it is to us. Therefore i'd prefer to believe my awful people OTP is still alive and they can meet my sad potato someday.

I'd like to simple just retcon their ages from 1998 adventure and make them be 13-14 years old there, so then you could have them be in their twenties when they were recruited by the Data Bureau...

Anyway, i understand when some peeps say they can't make ▽ work with Adv'99/02/Kizuna/02TB as it was presented to the audience, because it's a hard task orz

[rachelsshowerthoughts]

Far too sleepy to conjugate this Aware AU thought but given the kids evolving understanding of their own status as victims and the specifics of their abuse and their parents actions.

I do wonder if Chloe picked up on some of the scummier stuff indicated by Andre's actions?

Like, on one hand's she'd definitely know 'something' is off once she's keyed into the fact he does not care and just throws money at her until he wants her around for a photo op or to play pretend.

But I don't think she'd necessarily key into the fact his enabling of her lifelong Audrey imitation comes from more than negligence. Which I maintain is does cos we know he made some efforts to...

'Parent'

At least in the sense he gave her advice on school elections and would sometimes be cajoled into helping with stuff like that. None of it requiring ay emotional labor on his part of course, nor actually effective parenting, but it was something of an attempt.

Thus, given Chloe's impersonating has last for years but also subtly shifted in how its directed at Andre, that feels deliberate.

One can argue it was unconscious, but still required decisions.

Anyway point being, I am unsure she'd realize that side of things right off the bat, but instead have it as some kind of rude awakening. Like she thought she had all this on lokc and understood.

Her mom is hateful & cruel and never loved her, enjoys hurting her as much as anyone else & does not want her to succeed or outshine her.

Her father is selfish and only superficially cares, he only wants a daughter when it suits him & otherwise just wants her out of the way.

Then this realization hits, maybe just life stuff, maybe the lead in to that scene I shared with Adrien & Nino & her storming in, maybe due to an alt Maladiktator or someone else notes it?

Madame Bustier taking Andre out 'for' Chloe still rings to me as her identifying the main issue at the very least, though how much she knows or thinks is up in the air.

...

Gosh this is grim, even the most charitable read to Andre is fucked up.

Cano you believe I got her cos I realize Maladikator probably wouldn't happen as Chloe would not want Audrey to stick around?

Added note:

Cousin not required but just imagining one of the club members, maybe for fun points Lila, overhearing Bob Ross's "My talent-less son!" and just being like, "We are no longer only recruiting fourteen year old's, welcome our newest member, XY!" - "How did they get here so fast?" - "Trade secret." (Miraculous)

(May your sleep be peaceful! This will still be here if you want to respond later!)

I think Chloé would take a while to get the . . . I don’t know, depth? Of her father's fucked up-ness? Cause, like.

Ok, the way I see it - Emilie disappears. Adrien starts falling apart, and Chloé is the only one really there to pick up the pieces. In addition, let's say that summer was some kind of show or event, that meant Chloé was also dealing with both her mom and dad A LOT. So, as Adrien is having realizations about HIS dad (with grief as the catalyst), it triggers Chloé's realizations about HER parents. I imagine there's some shouting matches (maybe they want Chloé to be at some event, Chloé is refusing cause Adrien needs her, there is screaming, Chloé doesn’t go, backlash, etc,etc,) but with Audrey, the realization happens all at once.

Chloé always KNEW, on some level, that Audrey doesn’t care about her. It might have taken different forms, but this is where Chloé would realize it’s more than that. Audrey doesn’t just not like her, she straight up doesn’t LOVE her. The only care Audrey has for Chloé is as a possession. And this is a horrible thing to realize, it fucks Chloé up, but it also isn’t exactly NEW information. Chloé is AWARE her mother doesn’t like her, she just thought that, before, it was something she could change, could do something about. Now she knows that she can't do anything, so fuck it! Screw you, Mom, I'll do what I want! (I imagine Chloé hits that "manic energy, let's-fuck-shit-up!" phase of a breakdown, and then just keeps periodically ending up there. Makes a bonfire of all the shoes her mom has ever sent her - or sends them all to charity, whichever would piss her off more.)

But André would be harder, because even if he DOESN'T actually love Chloé, he's much better at acting like he does. And Chloé would have some genuine affection for him, so I think it would take longer. Maybe go through stages?

Like, at first, Chloé sees her dad as a coward. He bends to everything Audrey (or Chloé) wants, never really stands up for himself. Chloé is MAD at him, for not seeing how damaging Audrey is, for always bending to her will. She wants to spend as little time with him as possible, because he keeps trying to play "peacemaker", and Chloé is furious. Can’t he see what she's doing!? What she's ALWAYS been doing!? Why take HER side, isn’t Chloé his daughter!? Does that matter at all!? How dare he, how DARE he-!!

But, again, André is the parent who actually shows affection, and who Chloé spends most of her time with (vs Audrey, who only shows up when it suits her. I imagine André at least made token efforts to be there for Chloé, regardless of motivations). That confuses Chloé, cause she's thinking of "abuse" (not that she's calling it that) within a specific context. Audrey, Gabriel, Tomoe . . . there are differences, but on some level, all are strict control freaks, who need everything to go their way. As long as André is getting the attention he wants, he's much more flexible, so he muddled things a bit. So Chloé thinks about it, and she's spending time with Adrien, Kagami, Sabrina, and . . . ok, hear me out.

Marinette has, at some point, been brought in as Kagami's friend, and at least now is AWARE of the home lives of everyone else. And she's horrified, but she also introduces the idea that maybe André or Emilie were victims too. Cause the thing about abusive relationships, is that it’s someone conditioning you to react a certain way, to not realize something is fucked up. Most people IN abusive relationships don’t realize that the relationship they are in is abusive, cause most don’t start out that way. It’s slow, incremental changes you don’t realize are happening, until someone is looking in from the outside like "WHAT THE FUCK, how did you not NOTICE!?", but it was so slow, you didn’t notice at all, until the knife was at your throat. And Marinette is enough of an optimist (plus full of misplaced guilt) that she desperately doesn’t want BOTH parents of her friends to be abusive jackasses, so what if André and Emilie are trapped in these relationships? What if they need rescuing?

And Chloé ALSO wants that, so now she starts seeing her dad through that lens too. And I can see it leading WEIRD PLACES, cause now Chloé feels she has to PROTECT HER DAD. So, she's spending more time with him, she's trying to subtly hint about divorce, she's getting into screaming matches with Audrey, defending her dad, cause at least he was THERE when she was growing up!! Audrey, of course, sees it as a challenge, so starts getting André to take her on more dates, spend more time together, which Chloé does her level best to sabotage - can't have her dad stuck with HER! André, meanwhile, is soaking all this up. His wife and daughter, fighting for his attention? It’s really feeding his ego, to feel this important, so he starts INCITING these incidents himself. What does he care how it’s hurting anyone else, it’s proving how IMPORTANT he is, isn’t it?

I can see Chloé eventually getting Akumatized, to go after Audrey (defend, have to defend), and André trying once again to mitigate the situation - it’s all okay, dear! It just means we love each other! So, Akuma!Chloé tries to use her powers to show him Audrey DOESN'T love them, and. Well. That . . . does happen. Both André and Chloé can see, feel, that Audrey doesn't love them. But. Well, André KNOWS that. He gets that Audrey doesn’t love him, but still deems him important to her, and that’s what feeds his ego. While Audrey knows that André loves her as a status symbol, as something to boost himself, which she deems acceptable, as it allows her to control him.

But the connection works both ways, so. Chloé can feel how much Audrey doesn't love her, but aLeo how André DOESN'T actually love her. Can feel how shallow it is, how thin, how it's tied into his own ego and pride. She can feel from both of them, how there isn’t any love, any care, for Chloé herself as more than anything but a possession. And even if, on some level, she knew that, it’s different to having it CONFIRMED.

And with that connection still in place, both Audrey and André can feel Chloé's heart shatter as her love for them dies and turns to despair . . . and neither of them understand it at all.

The "fight" afterward can barely be called that. It’s Chat Noir holding Akuma!Chloé as she breaks down, while Ladybug gently breaks the item, casts the cure. When the Akuma is purified, André, of course, tries to patch things up - are you ok, dear? See, your old man is fine! - but this time, Chloé doesn’t even let him get close. She turns, walks away. Cause, those Akumatized might not remember much, but big moments? Emotional moments? They remember those, so Chloé remembers. She remembers the sensation, the feeling, of knowing her parents don’t love her. That to them, it’s all a game they want to win. Well, fine then. If they want to play that game, go ahead. Have fun. Enjoy yourselves. It clearly matters more than she does, so that’s it. She's out. Chloé isn’t playing this game anymore.

She's done.

(Chloé calls XY, asks her cousin if she can chill on his couch for a few days. XY, just freed from his dad, says sure, is everything cool?

Not even 24 hours later, XY is calling up the lawyer who helped him get out from under his dad. Does he know anyone with a background in custody battles?)

@tumblingxelian

[yoslimbo]

How I record and edit podcasts in 2022

Many moons ago, I wrote a post about how I record and edit podcasts on a weekly basis. Over time I've evolved that process, learned about shiny new tools, spent a bit of money on new hardware and software, and also started brand new shows. It feels about the right time to update folks on what I do these days but also talk about how I would podcast today as a brand new podcaster starting out 2022.

But first, who the heck am I and why should you care? I started podcasting in 2007. (that's 15 years ago, wtf!) I've produced shows about comic books, fatherhood, movies, folk's favorite things, tech gadgets, and I still occasionally podcast about Tom Cruise movies. These days, I spend my time on two shows in particular. 70mm is a podcast focused on movies with a different theme every month. Danny co-hosts and produces a beautiful piece of artwork to accompany each episode. The Letterboxd Show features conversations with Letterboxd members, filmmakers, critics, actors, and movie lovers about their four favorite films. We also has a secondary show called Weekend Watchlist focused on new movies dropped that week to help you figure out what to watch. I oversee the recording and editing of both shows, as well as steer direction for both to varying degrees.

Recording and editing your first podcast in 2022

OK, with that stuff out of the way...how would I suggest producing your own podcast in late 2022 and beyond? I'm not saying this is the only way to start a pod, this is just the way I'd suggest doing so. Let's break things down below into a TL;DR and then take each section as its own topic:

Buy this USB Mic and tell your friends to buy it, too.

Chat (and record) with your friends on Zoom while also recording your own local audio on your computer, too.

Clean up the local audio if needed using free services like Audacity (optional).

Edit that audio together in a free app like GarageBand on Mac.

Upload your episode to a free hosting service like Anchor.

Buy this USB Mic and tell your friends to buy it, too.

If you're just getting into this whole podcasting thing and don't have a mic, you are going to have to spend some moolah. Don't get cheap with the mic.. please god in heaven. Maybe you have some rando mic laying around or Apple earbuds around or ..gasp.. a Yeti, but please just think about this. Do you want to podcast? Do you want it to sound decent? If you don't want it to sound decent then I suggest you not start a podcast. Like, what are we doing? You listen to podcasts every day and you get excited and you want to start one. I get that! It's the whole reason I started podcasting in the first place; I thought I could do it better than the shows I was listening to. If you don't think you can do it better than what is out there...why bother? At the very least you should want to sound as good as most podcasts out there that you like. You should have a baseline of quality for yourself because guess what, your friends and family aren't going to tell you that your podcast sounds like crap on a stick. They'll share some tweets at launch but man they will go silent and months later ask if you are still doing that podcasting thing. "You still doing that podcast thing about that whatever? Hey that's great." If you don't think you can sound as good or better than other pods, don't bother. That's my whole vibe for podcasting. Take it or leave it, bud.

You'll want to spend a few bucks on a dynamic microphone. Yeti mics are condenser mics and they pick up all sorts of background audio and mouth noises and it's just not pleasant, imo. If you get your room situation sorted and have perfect mic positional technique, you can get good audio out of a Yeti, but more often than not they just don't sound great to me. So help me god if you think it's good enough to be a podcaster and use Apple Earbuds I will slap you. I recommend using this USB-C microphone. It's $79. Both Danny and Proto use an older model of this mic and they sound great. They also use a mic arm and keep it about 3-6 inches from their mouth and don't record in a giant room. This will become a theme in this walk-through, and I get that you're excited and you want to get things off the ground, but it's relatively simple to make a podcast sound great. It's up to you to put in the work so people will want to listen...and keep listening. I've said it before and I'll say it again...your friends will not tell you they don't like your podcast. People that listen to your podcast will not tell you that your mic sucks. That's just the way it goes..let me be that person. Let me be Batman running off into the night at the end of the Dark Knight. Goofy metaphor but whatever.

I prefer to use a Shure BETA 58A dynamic microphone. I've tested a bunch of mics and I prefer how my voice sounds with this particular one. It costs ~$200. That XLR mic cable goes into a Cloudlifter C-1 ($179) to boost the gain which is plugged into a Tascam USB audio interface ($249), which is plugged into my Mac.

Chat (and record) with your friends on Zoom while also recording your own local audio on your computer, too.

There are multiple ways for you to video chat with your co-hosts and some of which offer free recording right in the browser. However, Zoom is pretty ubiquitous in this day and age and more importantly free/cheap. I'd suggest paying the $10/mo for Zoom Pro so you can have longer conversations and also record the audio of everyone in the call. There is a setting inside of Zoom where you can separate everyone's audio so you can download each person's audio as its own file. Before we get ahead any further, I would not use this audio as the files you'd edit for the show. This Zoom audio should be your backup audio. It will always sound of a lesser quality than your locally recorded audio. In case of some kind of disaster when recording locally, you'll always have your Zoom audio to fall back on. And boy howdy, you will encounter disaster. Might as well just get that in your head now and prep for the worst. "Oh shit I recorded my laptop mic instead of my USB mic!" You will do that one day. You think it won't happen, but it will.

In terms of recording your own audio locally, QuickTime lets you record audio right in the app. Open the app and go File > New Audio Recording, choose your Mic and hit record. You can also use a free app like Audacity, but you will need to double and triple check you are setting the app to record your USB microphone.

If your podcast is your Zoom call audio stitched together I'd love for you to ask yourself why. Is it because it's easier? Faster? Maybe it's faster...but is it better? I would say 100% no. If the show is you and one or two friends, just go the extra mile to have them record their audio locally. You are putting yourself out there and people are going to listen to you for the very first time and get one giant impression of your show. If you don't care about giving the highest quality audio when possible...why should they care?

Clean up the local audio if needed using free services like Audacity (optional).

In a perfect world, the audio you and your friends record locally will sound great! Or at least, "good." In some cases, maybe things don't sound great, or there is some background noise, or someone's nose is whistling and maybe you want to clean it up a bit. What I wrote in 2020 still stands in terms of using a free app for cleanup, so I'm going to paste it here again:

Since none of my hosts/guests have audio studios, there is inevitably going to be some random background noise happening in the audio files they send you. That could be nose whistling, your own audio coming through someone else’s headphones by accident, and maybe even a fan in the corner of their room that you asked to have them turn off but they still wont listen to you.

Knowing this, I add the audio file into Audacity and run a Plug-in on the entire thing called Noise Gate. This essentially lets me tell Audacity, “hey man remove any audio in this file that isn’t the person talking or laughing.” It’s incredibly helpful! More technically said, it can lower any audio beneath a decibel level that you set. I run that Plug-in on the file, and export that file as an .mp3. I do the same thing for the other host’s files as well. Here are what my settings look like for Noise Gate plug-in below:

Again, you might never need to do this, but worthwhile knowing these tools are available to you. If you need to raise the levels of you or your friends audio so they sound the same and don't want to use Audacity, this site offers that for a small fee.

Edit that audio together in a free app like GarageBand on Mac.

I've used GarageBand for years and years to edit my podcasts. It's free and super easy to use. Some of my friends are on PC and they use Audacity, but tbh I don't really have any experience editing there. Below is what an older project looked like in GarageBand. (Evergreen comment, but YouTube is a godsend for anything podcast related. You can legit teach yourself everything with some good tutorials.)

Upload your episode to a free hosting service like Anchor.

If you're just starting out, you're probably already annoyed that I recommended a $80 microphone but calm down, ok? Anchor is free and since Spotify owns them, it's super easy to get your show onto Spotify, too. You'll need to submit your show to Apple as well so follow this guide to submit your RSS feed that Anchor will provide to you. If you're cool with spending some cash monthly, I love Simplecast, too.

Once you have your show edited, exported, and uploaded into Anchor, publish! Tell your friends! Have fun! That's the main thing after all, ya know? Most podcasts don't produce more than 7 episodes and kinda stall out for whatever reason and the top 50% of podcasts in the US average 120 downloads after 30 days, give or take. Maybe one day I can get into the nitty gritty of pulling together an entire plan to launch a podcast and why you'd want to start a podcast, and how to keep a podcast growing but for now let's stick to the production side.

Recording and editing my podcasts in 2022

Now that I've laid out how I would start a pod in the year of our lord 2022, let's chat about how I produce and edit 70mm and The Letterboxd Show every week.

Video chat and record using Riverside.fm

Clean up local audio in Izotope RX 9

Edit and export episode using Logic Pro

Upload episode to Anchor, etc

Video chat and record using Riverside.fm

Riverside is a website that lets you video chat and record your own local audio right in Chrome. It's also $29/mo sooooo just saying. But it's so good that I don't even asks my co-hosts to record their audio locally anymore. Riverside takes care of everything right in the browser. I click record, and your guests audio starts being recorded and uploaded into the cloud right then and during the entire recording. Once I hit stop, it finishes uploading the last 1% of the audio and from there I can download it to my computer and get ready for editing. In rare cases, something went wrong with the file, where I've heard some kinda funky background audio, or my audio coming from their headphones that were turned up too loud that I didn't catch while chatting, etc etc. The nice thing is that even if their local recording is kinda crap for whatever reason, you can still download the lower quality "call audio" that you heard while chatting. There are a few other similar web apps like Riverside but I don't have experience with them.

Clean up local audio in Izotope RX 9

This past year or so I finally jumped in head first and spent some real money on audio cleanup software. When I started working for Letterboxd and chatting with guests without a good mic, you'll sometimes just get what you get in terms of audio. Maybe they are using ear buds, maybe they are using their laptop mic, and maybe they are using the biggest room in their entire house. After that call, I need to do what I can to clean up that audio as best I can to make sure that people have an OK time listening to that episode. RX Elements is $99 and comes with tools like de-hum, de-click, voice de-noise, de-reverb, and de-clip. It's a legit magic tool that has been an absolute lifesaver sometimes. I use voice-de-noise a lot. Sometimes you're editing and you hear a click and you have no idea wtf it is, RX can help you remove that noise. There is even a setting in RX Standard called "de-bleed", where if someone's headphones were too loud and another person's audio was bleeding into their mic, you could have the app learn those tracks and do its best to remove the bleed. RX Standard has that larger suite of tools and costs $299. Yes, I bought it, and yes I would do it again.

This section I wrote about Auphonic years ago still stands as well. It's possible that my guests audio levels are kinda funky so after recording I put their audio through Auphonic ($89) to level their audio to around the same levels before I edit to save time. It's possible I could do this step using RX 9 but I haven't really investigated. Here is what I wrote years ago:

Background on Auphonic: A few years ago I finally sprung for Auphonic Leveler for Mac ($89). When you’re recording a podcast with others, or even on a H1N Zoom recording device with more than 1 mic, it can be difficult to make sure everyone’s voice sounds the same and comes across at the same audio level. You could even get an audio file from a host/guest and their audio could be super duper quiet. Throw the audio files into this app, adjust the settings to what you want, and it exports new audio files where each one is set to the same level. Even if you weren’t recording in the same room, this helps create that atmosphere.

I’ve recorded a podcast using a Zoom using 2 XLR mics plugged in where there are 2 guests, one speaking quiet and one speaking loudly on the same audio file. Auphonic saved my bacon big-time and brought us both to the same audio levels.

Once I have the audio files from my guests, I throw them into Auphonic with these settings screenshotted below. That brings everyone to an even playing field in terms of audio levels.

Edit and export episode using Logic Pro

I've used GarageBand for 99% of my editing career and it's great! Many "legit" podcasters still use it. Whatever floats your boat, ya know? During the pandemic I wanted to up my game a bit. I wanted to improve the overall sound of 70mm, add some equalizers, add some filters, remove echo, adjust compression, and pretty much just make us sound legit. Like, I know we sounded good before, but I wanted to go higher. Logic Pro X from Apple is pretty much GarageBand Pro and costs $199. It let's me do some fancy keystrokes to save time moving clips around, remove dead-air sections. Below is a recent episode of 70mm and you'll notice lots of blank space where that host is not speaking. I can remove all that dead air or anything under a certain Db level and that makes it super easy to move stuff around if needed. I also use a few different plug-ins to reduce echo on someone's audio track. If you're ever curious about deeper details about how I edit, feel free to reach out with questions. I'm always happy to help!

Here is a screenshot of me adjusting the EchoRemover too.

Upload episode to Anchor, etc

Listen you've seen how much I've spent on software so far, let me live a little and pay $0 for Anchor, OK?

With 70mm, there are several other check-boxes I need to complete depending on what episode we are about to release. We have Patreon, Apple Subscription episodes, and also Paid Episodes on Spotify. Anchor lets me take care of those paid episodes on Spotify right in the dashboard but everything else requires its own upload. When we do a supporter-only episode, that means I have to upload it to Patreon, Anchor, and Apple. When we do a regular episode, I have to upload it to Patreon so our supporters listen to it first and then Anchor.

One of the perks to our 70mm Patreon is access to our VHS Village Discord. Every Thursday, we stream our recording directly into Discord so folks can listen along together. Patrons also get access to that uncut recording right after we get done. That gets uploaded to Patreon only. Initially, I was super hesitant to have a loosey goosey unedited episode floating about but tbh folks love it the three of us have hit a nice groove in our convos and there is not much overlap while talking if any.

As I mentioned earlier, too, Danny creates a beautiful piece of artwork for each episode and there is an important step I need to do to ensure it shows up in Apple Podcasts, Overcast, Pocket Cast, etc. Here is what I wrote years ago:

Forecast is free and very easy to use for Chapters. It does other things like encode your show into an MP3, but I don’t really use that. Below is a screenshot, but I right-click on my audio file and Open With Forecast. I type in all the info and then add in my Chapters for the show and drop the podcast image on each one. Apps like Logic Pro and Audition allow you to add markers as you edit, but for now I’m still using GarageBand, and it’s not that big of a pain to just add the few segments 70mm does have. If you have custom artwork for each episode, this ensures podcasts apps will show it as they listen, but it also will let your listeners easily find specific segments. If you do convert to MP3 using Forecast, it may default to exporting at 64kbps, so be sure to change that setting for a higher level of audio quality.

Not too bad, right? jk jk Podcasting can be a lot of work but more importantly, if you put the time in, it can be extremely rewarding. I think I covered just about everything and I'll go back and made additions as I find things that I left out. If you have any questions feel free to DM me on Twitter.

[icarusavery]

I beat Pokémon Generation I (Pokémon Red specifically) for the first time in many, many years over the last week or so. 26 hours of playtime, about 75 Pokémon species caught, and a bit too much grinding and inventory management, and I became the Indigo League Champion. Now I wanna get out some of my thoughts.

---

For context, I started with Gen IV (Diamond) back in 2008 or so, and I've played most games in the mainline series, with the only ones I haven't being Gen V Part 2 (B2W2), Gen VI (XY specifically, I have played Alpha Sapphire), Gen VII Part 1 (SuMo), and Gen IX (ScVi).

Firstly, I wanna comment on my team, because some certain quirks of Gen I - namely the limited selection of Pokémon, the prevalence of certain types and the absence of others (both in the wild and on enemy teams), and the classic Generation I Spaghetti Code - led to me picking some Pokémon I likely wouldn't give a second thought. For instance, in terms of Kanto starters, I've always been a Squirtle fangirl (turtles are one of my favorite animals IRL) but I ended up going with Bulbasaur because of a certain quirk of Gen I's code: high-crit moves basically always crit, so Razor Leaf (normally a 55 base power move that's not worth all that much) suddenly became effectively a 165 base power gatling gun of death that killed basically anything that didn't resist it in one clean shot. Anything that Razor Leaf couldn't take out, Body Slam would clear away with ease (great for all those Psychic-types with glass bones and paper skin.)

I filled out my party with a Gyarados, a Nidoking, and an Alakazam (I used PKSM on 3DS to evolve it into an Alakazam, I don't have a spare 3DS to trade with). The Gyarados was a bitch to train, but it eventually became my coverage champ: with Surf, Ice Beam, Thunderbolt, and Strength, nothing could stand in its way (especially with base 100 Special, which for those who don't know, Special is both your Special Attack and Special Defense.) Nidoking wasn't exactly a powerhouse - its stats are somewhat middling, with only a 75 base Special and a 92 base Attack - but it soon became my best choice for dealing with many of the Pokémon that could take a bit of a beating from my special attackers. As a physical sweeper, it's great, especially once you snag Earthquake from Silph Co. and get a 100 base power (150 with STAB), 100% accurate Ground-type move that annihilates basically anything that doesn't resist or is immune to Ground. With all the Poison-types in Kanto, it was a massive help, and that applies doubly to Alakazam. It doesn't have the insane coverage of Alakazam in Gen II, where it's the reigning Elemental Punch-Out League heavyweight champion, but it does have Psychic, which mops the floor with basically anything that looks at you funny, and with 135 base Special and 120 base Speed, it could reliable OHKO virtually any threat that wasn't just as stronk as it (namely, other Psychic-types).

For my HMployee, I picked up that traded Farfetch'd, since it could learn Fly and Cut. Surf and Strength went to Gyarados and Nidoking (Nidoking only getting the latter owing to its meager Special) while Flash went to a Pokémon I raised for a bit but eventually boxed, my Butterfree. Butterfree was honestly a Pokémon I had no idea would be as useful as it was, but damn if it didn't get the job done. I also decided to raise a Geodude for a short while (though ultimately dropped it, Rock-Ground wasn't that essential for me) and caught a Dugtrio basically just to use for Lt. Surge before boxing it. My Hall of Fame team also included a Moltres, but all he did was die a couple times so I could revive another Pokémon I wanted instead, and he Fire Blasted Blue's Exeggutor to death, which was pretty pog of him.

There were also a lot of Pokémon whose designs I found myself enjoying in Gen I a lot more than I remember, even if they never made it into my team. Grimer's adorable, even if I think Muk is just a straight downgrade and so I never want to evolve Grimer. Gen I Pikachu honestly looks way better than he ever did once they slimmed down his previously football-shaped body. Even Gen I Electrode looks (marginally) better, thanks to him having more defined eyeballs instead of just having some pinpricks.

---

Now that my team comp is out of the way, let's talk about gameplay. It's basically just what you'd expect from Pokémon, just a little bit less. No abilities, no held items, no genders, no Special Defense, and moves are still divided into physical and special categories based on their type rather than the individual move. The battle system still works about how you'd expect, albeit with some considerable jank, and it's still a fun experience overall. I did find myself seriously underleveled by endgame - my lv48 Venusaur was my highest leveled Pokémon compared to Blue's lv65 Charizard - but it never felt like I was out of my league. The challenge mostly ranged from "piss easy" to "fairly easy" to "below average" and only got a bit braintaxing once I hit Victory Road, barring a few one-off encounters, like a Rocket grunt in Silph Co. with a lv28 Hypno that did my shit in for a bit owing to some nasty curse from RNGiratina. The early game was the worst part - having to grind for a few hours in Viridian Forest just to get my Pokémon in a state where I could reasonably fight Brock. Other than that, no part of the game felt overly grindy or annoying.

The main problem was mostly dungeon design - I'm glad this game even has dungeons, unlike some others (cough gen viii cough) but they're often a bit undercooked, most of them reusing the same cave tileset (literally five of thirteen dungeons, and four of the ten required dungeons use the same cave tileset, and they're also generally the longest dungeons outside of the eleven-story megadungeon that is Silph Co.), and the main "challenge" in basically all of them is just some variety of "do a maze" - many of them relying on teleporter puzzles to work (and good god do those teleporters get annoying.) Other than that, the ride is a mostly smooth one, though I do wish the game was a bit better at telling you where to go next. It's not impossible to figure things out and the game does often point you in a direction to go at least, but more than once did I finish up an objective and then go "okay, well now what?"

---

Gen I does have some considerable problems outside of dungeon design, sadly, and most of them are related to quality-of-life features. Your inventory is almost comically small - a mere 20 items. Organizing it is a Sisyphean task, owing to its complete lack of any kind of tabs and the wonky item swap controls, but worse than that is the hilarious bad PC inventory. You can store items in your PC if they don't fit in your bag, but 1). you need to have space in your bag to pick up an item, it can't go straight to the PC, and 2). you only have 50 spaces in your PC. Given you can't get rid of old, useless Key Items like the S.S. Ticket or the Secret Key, this basically means you're shit out of luck for collecting things like TMs or whatnot. It's a use-it-or-lose-it kinda game, and you're constantly having to get rid of old items to fit new ones.

There's also a distinct lack of polish in Gen I compared to future titles. Beyond the graphics being a bit… primitive (poor Gen I Geodude, he's not doing great), there's a lot of little things that add up. There's no descriptions of moves or even a way to see their power and accuracy in-game, forcing you to have a guide open to check basic information like that. HMs don't activate when you interact with a relevant object, but instead require you to go and select the HM from your party menu. A lot of little things like that really do detract from the experience and make it feel very janky compared to what it could be.

I'll also say that Kanto is certainly not my favorite region. It's not got a lot that's particularly interesting about it - especially in terms of unique landmarks. The aesthetic of every town is damn near identical - liking owing to hardware limitations - and no route really stood out as unique, unless you want to count Viridian Forest. The Pokémon in the region are also often pretty bland, including Rattata, Pidgey, and Venomoth, but this applies especially to evolved forms. Frequently an evolved form is just "the previous form, but bigger" (see: Poliwhirl into Poliwrath, Mankey into Primeape, Grimer into Muk, the whole damn Pidgey line), or it's just "add another thingy" (see: Doduo into Dodrio, Koffing into Weezing, Magnemite into Magneton, Diglett into Dugtrio - though I actually really like that last one.) The worst offender is probably Electrode - I really like Voltorb, it's a neat take on an RPG mimic, but Electrode is by far one of the laziest designs in the whole damn series.

---

All that said, I still had fun with Pokémon Red. It's a fun experience that, while certainly janky as all hell, has a certain charm to it that future Pokémon games don't quite have. That's not to say it's better than future games, oh God no - I'd still rather play RSE or ORAS or USUM over this - but for what it's worth, it's a good time.

On a scale of 0 to 10, 0 being "actively harmful to society," 1 being "basically unplayable," 5 being "completely middle of the road, neither good nor bad," and 10 being "as close to perfect as possible," I'd give it a 6.5/10, maybe a 7 if I'm in a good mood. It's worth your time, just don't be surprised if it's a bit dated or clunky.

[absolutebl]

Hi!! First and foremost I wanted to say that I love your blog, thank you for sharing all this information about the genre and tropes and cinematography stuff with us, it's always interesting!

I also wanted to ask, since Not Me is airing and so far -at least for me- it's giving and the main couple get more interesting with each episode, what's your opinion on OffGun's chemistry and how it evolved since their first work together? Personally, I love them both and think they have great chemistry offscreen, but I always struggle to see all that chemistry in their series. I mean, it's still there, but not.. as much? It could be just a personal taste thing.

Sorry if the question is silly and no hate intented to the actors of course! They're amazing and get better each time. Also sorry if there's any mistake, english is not my first language!

Hi hi, thank you so much for the compliment!

OffGun & The Evolution of Chemistry for a BL Pair

What's your opinion on OffGun's chemistry and how it evolved since their first work together? Personally, I love them both and think they have great chemistry offscreen, but I always struggle to see all that chemistry in their series. I mean, it's still there, but not.. as much?

Okay so, I love them and they are great as a branded pair, offscreen in particular. But Imma put that aside and go into film critique mode...

Here's the good kiss post where I talk about couple chemistry on screen, and since that is what this is about here's my 3 part definition. Good chemistry requires (especially for a kiss): 

emotional resonance (AKA empathy - heart) - face expression, eye contact

physical reactions (AKA sexual responses - body) - breath matching, lip softness, hand movements, body language & stiffness 

sympathetic execution (AKA intellectual connection - mind) - dialogue delivery, interplay and push/pull or call and response

In other words, the audience needs to feel that the characters  

like each emotionally

desire each other physically

are enjoying it (AKA understand each others needs intellectually)

Puppy Honey & the Space Between Us

When Puppy Honey was being redropped to YouTube way back, someone wrote about their kiss in that series and said "it was like the continental divide" between those lips.

At the time PH filmed, Gun was a VERY seasoned actor who had done BL before. (He started acting when he was 8 and he's 28 now, I know older than you think.) Off had a small back catalogue but no BL.

Don't get me wrong PickRome are my favorite of OffGun’s characters and the two work well together for this story, but their chemistry in this series is all over the place. Gun is giving too much and Off not enough and while this jives with their characters but only up to a point (that point being when Pick is supposed to soften). It's very inconsistent. Gun is out acting Off, and he’s so charismatic he takes a lot of the visual breath from the room. 

In this series they are really good at only the third on my list: intellectual chemistry. Their banter in this one is great (and it’s Off’s greatest strength as an actor - his line execution is *chef’s kiss* the writers rooms must LOVE him). But their is no physical chemistry (except from Gun in that daydream sequence), and their emotional chemistry is all over the place when it should have been a clean arc. 

Theory of Love & the Middle Ground

By the time Theory of Love came around these two had been co-branding for years. They have a very set dynamic on the interview and variety show circuit, which basically translated as an IRL tsundere arc for Off - Gun just chipped away at Off’s armor until Off was like, 

ARGH he can do whatever he wants!

It’s very indulgent parent/older brother in its tone, Papii. Gun is a puppy Off has come to adore and is annoyed at most of the time, also annoyed at himself and the world that foisted this on him. In a loving way, of course. 

Is this performative or authentic? They actors, who can tell? Let them do their thing, it’s fun to watch either way. 

Also by ToL Off had become a much better actor so Gun no longer took up all the air in the room whenever they were on screen together. 

I don’t really like ToL but objectively it’s a better series than PH and they are better in it. As with PH, their intellectual chemistry is on point throughout (I just don’t like a crying pining uke and the clueless arse seme pairing). When Khai finally relents, OffGun gives us much better emotional chemistry, eye contact and facial expressions of affection and the like. Their physical chemistry is better too, although it’s more brotherly than sexual. That’s normal for Thailand. Off is much less stiff, their kisses are better, although they never breath match or do anything that makes the audience think they’re actually into boning each other. Again, I don’t expect this from Thai BL. 

Although, to be fair, I think Gun could probubly do this. Just not with Off. Pair him with Zee or Mew... see what happens. I know I know. I broke your hearts. 

Not Me 

Not Me has just completed as I type this. As is typical with these two it was a slow burn. Although this time both characters were tsundere. This is one of the hardest pairings for actors to pull off (pun intended) as the most extreme version of enemies to lovers. Fortunately for us, OffGun were up to the task.  

I actually didn’t have a ton of faith that they were gonna execute the relationship side of this story well. Gun’s worst roles have historically all been when he portrayed tsundere (I thought he was outright bad in The Gifted). And Off was too comfortable as Sean, it’s an easy character for him (he loves a cool bad boy). 

They proved me wrong. The SeanWhite romance was not the driver of this BL (so I question whether it is BL - read about that here) but that’s not the point, we’re discussing OffGun’s chemistry. And it was GOOD. 

They’re clearly beyond comfortable with each other in this show, it has the most in common with the Theory of Love special. They were practically Taiwan level on comfort in each other’s space. Sometimes it felt like this made the romance a little too easy or something? And certainly Sean having a girlfriend-ish was unnecessary. 

Still I think they did great job, there was clear annoyance, then affection, and then love between them. Sean in particular, we could watch him soften, and I’m glad we got to see him figure out that White was a twin. Having dated an identical twin myself, I can tell you that part was very well done. The difference is in personality, body language and tone of voice. Visually I could rarely tell teh difference but the moment one of them opened their mouth I was like, that one is mine (or that one is NOT mine). 

At times the romance and physicality between Sean & White was perhaps a bit too OffGun and not enough SeanWhite. (I occasionally could be heard to say while watching: Careful boys your OffGun is showing.) And I’m sorry, but this is a pair I’m never gonna completely believe actually wants to bone. But it doesn’t really matter to this story. That’s not really what SeanWhite’s love affair was really about. 

In the end, I gotta say the best BL (as a BL) from OffGun is probubly Theory of Love. (I know right? This is my least favorite of their oeuvre.) 

That said, Not Me might be my favorite story. I loved its queerness and grit. I like that it’s dealt with things that other BLs (let alone Thai BLs) haven’t. But I do think DanYok outshone SeanWhite (as a PAIR), their chemistry was superior in almost every regard. 

And PickRome will always and forever be my favorite OffGun, they are the ones I will rewatch forever. 

Here’s something to think about with these two. 

How would it work if Off had to be a uke? Or play a pining seme? All his roles opposite Gun are tsundere. What if these two had to do a Thai version of We Best Love? What if they had been the leads in Bad Buddy? Could they handle it? I don’t know. I don’t think so. As an acting pair I think they have a limit.

They’ve evolved and gotten better. So their new limit has not yet been tested. And it may never be. 

(source)

Updated April 2022 

[harrypotter-imaginess]

Part 2 Here!

Commission info for a Love Letter from you favorite character here!

- You’re probably someone on his morning routine, or who could easily become apart of his daily routine

- Maybe a friendly barista at a café he’s curious about on the way to the his store

- But I like to think you’re someone that works at the local flower shop

- He catches you on his way to work one morning, choosing to walk that day to stretch his legs

- Apparating is convenient, but if he’s not careful he’ll get out of shape pretty fast.

- He see’s you across the street, watering the plants you keep outside the shop, talking to each of them, a smile across your face as you do

- The morning light hits you just right, the golden glow spreading across your face

- “Well aren’t they quite cute?”

- He starts walking to work everyday from then on

- It’s on the fourth or fifth day you notice him-

- Well really you notice his hair, it’s such a rich red

- A livelier shade than any rose or hibiscus you could grow

- “I bet it’s hair dye.” Your co-worker tells you “you know how these city boys are-“

- Well your store is in the heart of the city, on the Jump Street, sandwiched between a book store and a boutique

- And yeah, most of the guys around here do seem impeccably dressed,

- one of your very handsome regular's who comes in to get flowers for his husband every Tuesday even admitted he has a running bi-monthly appointment at the spa, he gets a spray tan, dye job, eyebrows tweezed, the works.

- “It’s just what I have to do to compete, there’s so many young CEO’s now, you’ve got to keep up appearances.” 

- And you’re sure he’s not the only one

- Still.. you can’t help but believe that a shade of red that vibrant- that beautiful- can’t be from just hair dye

- “Maybe” you mumble, turning your attention to the peony’s

- You wonder if you’ll see him walk by at the end of the day when all the offices close

- But even though you keep your eyes glued to the store front window, he never shows up

- You see him again the next morning, walking across the street

- This time you take a little more of him in

- He’s pretty tall, though you can’t make out much of his build when he’s wearing that rust colored coat

- And a splatter of freckles across his face, almost like constellations

- He’s got a long nose, but it works with his face

- He’s pretty handsome

- What comes next shouldn’t surprise you, but it does

- Perhaps he felt your eyes on him, silently assessing him- studying him

- Because his eyes lift up to meet yours

- They’re the deepest brown you’ve ever seen, especially when the morning light hits them just so

- Oh sh*t, he caught you staring

- Sh*t. Sh*t. Sh*t. Sh*t. Sh*t. Sh*t.

- Okay, it’s fine

- Just okay- Just play it cool

- So, you pretend like you weren’t just staring at this handsome stranger admiring his features

- And shamelessly offer your best smile and a wave

- To your surprise he grins, smile spreading across his face

- A light pink dusting his face as he waves back

- And so you become waving friends

- Waving to each other every morning

- Which slowly evolves into trading morning greetings

- “How’s your morning going?” He asks from across the street

- Miffed commuters give him disgruntled looks as they walk around him rushing to work, but he stays rooted to the spot

- “It’s alright can’t complain!” You shout back from your spot by the gardenia bush, earning several looks as well

- “How about you?”

- He gives a teasing look to all the angry passerby’s and gives a “so-so” hand motion

- You almost laugh so hard you cry

- This goes on for a few more days, and your co-workers take notice

- “Flirting with the red head (Y/N)? On company time?” Your co-worker mock gasps and you roll your eyes

- “Oh hush, I’m just being friendly to a neighbor.”

- Your co-worker doesn’t look like they’re buying it, but they don’t say anything else

- It’s late in the afternoon when the shop bell rings

- You’re up to your elbows trimming and re-potting the hydrangeas

- You figure one of the others will get

- You hear some footsteps but ignore it, 

- This part is tricky, if you damage any of the roots the plant might not be able to make it

- “Um excuse me, I was wondering if you might help me with something?”

- Ugh, don’t they see you’re in the middle of something

- You’re about to turn around and tell them that customers aren’t supposed to be in back room-

- When you catch a glimmer of vivid red in the corner of your eye

- No that can’t be right, he doesn’t even walk back this way in the afternoon

- Your heart stutters in your chest, face growing hot

- Your crush is getting out of control-

- When you look up, there he is

- His adorable freckles face in all its glory

- Here in the homely, rather dirty, back-plant room at your flower store

- A hesitant smile curled on to his lips

- “I’m sorry, it looks like I’m interrupting, the clerk in the front said you would be back here-“

- Of course they did

- So well what’s he here for?

- Is he here to ask you in a date??

- You might just combust from joy at the thought

- Or maybe he’s here to order a large bouquet for his lover, and the rest of your co-workers think it’s time you get yourself out of this little crush of yours

- The thought fills you with both embarrassment and despair

- Only extreme highs and lows with you, it seems

- “- I’m a business owner a few streets over, and I thought some flowers might add some atmosphere, they said you’re the expert”

- He gives you a boyish grin, his hands shoved into his pockets

- So somewhere in the middle then

- Aright you can work with that

- “Do you have an idea of what kind of flowers you might want?” You’re already moving towards the sink, washing the fertilizer off your arms.

- George blanks, he hasn’t really thought that far

- “Not particularly, do you have any recommendations?”

- You nod, lips pursed as you grab the order form

- “Well what kind of store do you have? Peonys’ and orchids’ are always good with boutiques”

- You figure he owns an upscale boutique or maybe a restaurant, those tend to be the places that do the best in this area.

- And by the looks of his taupe coat, his store is doing very well

- “Hmm well-“ his hand rubs his chin

- Technically it’s a joke shop, but it’s grown to be more than that isn’t it?

- He sells potions, charms, stationary, prank goods (of course), muggle novelty’s- it makes sense to him- but his store has grown to be quite eclectic over the years

- Besides he doubts he can explain it you

- He’s still on the fence whether you’re a muggle or from magic like him

- You’re plants have him suspicious, no way a muggle could grow a gardenia that would put Neville Longbottom to shame-

- Still, if you were a witch there’s no way you wouldn’t have recognized him by now

- The Weasleys have all become some sort of warrior clan war hero, he’s even on a chocolate frog card now.

- Well, he would rather not risk it

- He’s always been the cautious one

- “It’s sort of a hobby store? Well it started out as one, but now we’ve been expanding and we sell a bit of everything.”

- “So kind of like a department store?”

- Department stores are a bit more tricky, each room has a different vibe, but the overall tone has to be neutral

- Hmmmm

- “Maybe some white roses? Orchids might be nice too, and if you’ve got a bit of a green thumb I might recommend succulents or some devils ivy?”

- This is all going straight over George’s head, he never did pay much attention in herbology

- But you’re talking to him as if he’s an equal and he doesn’t want the cutie who works at the local flower shop think any less of him because he doesn’t know a d*mn about plants

- “Those sound lovely”

- He’s not entirely sure how it happens, but by the time he’s left he’s got an armful of plants, and a rolling order at your store to pick up plants every Tuesday

- “Are you sure you’re alright? We deliver for free you know?”

- “No no it’s fine-“

- The tall leafy plant shakes every time he shakes his head

- “Besides I wouldn’t want to miss the chance to see you again” he winks before turning to leave

- You feel your heart skip a beat

- “Did you ask if it was a dye job?” You co-worker yells from the other side of the store as soon as he’s gone

- “Of course I didn’t Ainsley! For one that’s awfully rude”

- They nod knowingly

- “Yeah that’s really fifth date talk”

- They laugh when you throw one of the cards at them

- And like clockwork George comes in every Monday afternoon, and leaves with a handful of arrangements and plants

- You still talk to each other on the street

- “How are the hydrangeas working out for you?” You ask and he gives a ‘ditto’ hand gesture

- “They’re class! I was wondering if I could get a few more?”

- You nod

- “We’ll have more ready for you on Monday, are you sure you don’t want delivery?”

- He manages to carry them off every time, but it sure makes you nervous, just one tumble and they would be ruined

- “We’ve been over this, how would I get to see you then?”

- He gives you a lopsided grin and you find yourself reflecting the expression

- “Oi! Would you two stop flirting in the middle of the street, you’re blocking traffic!” Someone shouts

- He just laughs and offers you a wave

- “What’s with all the plants?”

- They’re the first words out of Ron’s mouth when he steps inside the shop, he’s already shrugging off his coat making his way to where George is fiddling with a new contraption

- “I thought they would make the place livelier”

- False.

- He just wanted an excuse to talk to you.

- He does like the plants though. The white hydrangeas you recommended for the potions section are absolutely lovely

- Though he did use a few charms to make them larger, and stay fresher longer.

- He’s basically got a wall covered in hydrangeas now

- Still lovely though

- “It does look nice” Rob admits

- “So where are the products you need help fixing?”

- George groans waving towards a few oddly stacked boxes

- The packaging on his restock of the portable swamps came in the wrong color, not a big deal he can always change it with a spell

- But it is tedious work, especially when you have to do it one by one, otherwise it might upset the contents.

- And he does not want a swamp in his store

- Ron only nods, unpacking the box

- “You want purple right?”

- There’s a moment of silence between the two

- Purple was Fred’s favorite color

- He used to joke it was because that’s the color Snape turned when he was mad

- But George knows it’s because purple’s the color of the first fireworks they saw.

- He, Fred, Ron and Ginny had snuck away when they were younger to a muggle festival in the village, awestruck by the shapes the fireworks took.

- Fred would have carved that moment into his bones if he could.

- George clears his throat

- “Yeah, purple, same shade as the shop sign”

- Ron nods, pulling out a products wordlessly, motioning with his wand

- “So what’s really the deal with all these plant?” Ron asks, and George sighs

- “Nothing I just thought it might be good for business”

- “Did you get swindled by an attractive salesman?”

- “I wouldn’t say swindled” you gave him a pretty generous discount, and you were even offering free delivery

- That’s kind of a lot to give for a muggle shop

- “So they were attractive then?” Ron says with a grin, he’s only ribbing

- But George’s inquisitive look and the pink flush across his freckles nose makes Ron think he’s on the nose

- “(Y/N)’s fairly attractive”

- Fairly is putting it mildly though, George thinks your adorable

- Ron stutters halfway through the transfiguration spell

- “(Y/N)? Like hot (Y/N)? From the flower shop?”

- George is puzzled but nods

- “You went to hot (Y/N)‘s shop?!?!? WITHOUT ME?” Ron looks like he’s about to cry

- “How would Hermione feel is she heard you talking about another person like that?”

- Ron just gives him an incredulous look

- “She would say ‘I can’t believe George went to hot (Y/N)‘s shop and didn’t invite us’!”

- Apparently you’re quite popular in the shopping district. Your flowers have won the city award twice, before you opened your shop you won a contract as the city’s horticulturist.

- “Last Valentine’s Day Harry and I stood in line for two hours to pick up our bouquets” Ron tells him, he’s already done with the first box

- He figured business was good, it’s almost impossible to run a flower shop in the middle of the city if it isn’t.

- But he didn’t imagine you were award winning or anything

- He sighs so you are a muggle, and you’ve got no need for magic, you make up the difference in talent and skill

- He likes that, maybe he should get some shirts or art prints that say something like that

- He feels a small smile creep onto his face

- Oh well, probably for the best, he’s not sure he has time to date what with how busy things have been

- “Free for dinner? We can go wherever you want, my treat.” George says, slipping on his coat as they finish with the last of the products.

- “How about (Y/N)‘s flower shop?”

- George laughs

- “I’m pretty sure they close at 5....also they don’t have food Ron”

- Ron sighs like he’s just been told Christmas is just cancelled

- “The leaky cauldron is fine too I guess”

- But George can’t stop thinking about you for the rest of the weekend.

- It’s not really that big of a deal if you’re a muggle, but-

- Well how would that even work?

- The closest thing to a muggle he’s personally known is Hermione- who’s a witch and just muggle born

- He wouldn’t be able to tell you about being a wizard- not until you were married, or at least serious enough that he knew you both were going to get married. Which he doesn’t know how he feels about

- So he would have three full time jobs

- Taking care of the store, being your boyfriend, oh and hiding his magical powers from you

- Lovely

- But Merlin- wouldn’t his family love it if he brought you home?

- His Dad would be over the moon, and his Mum, well she’d be happy he found anyone at all. But she wouldn’t mind the pointers you gave her on how to get pinker roses.

- Percy wouldn’t really care either way. He might even like it, a muggle in the family might help his political agenda.

- Good for optics and all

- He already knows Ron likes you

- He and Hermione will be quite pleased they get to ogle you all they want at holiday dinners

- Ginny will like having another person in the family, she would personally give you a tour of the burrow

- Fleur will like having another in law in the family- and Bill will be happy that she’s happy

- Charlie would love it, asking you all about what kind of plants his dragons might like, and if you might plant a few for him, come visit in Romania- the port key’s always open for family-

- Actually he might have to watch out for Charlie, his older brother might legit steal you away from him

- .

- ...

- Fred would have loved you

- Fred would have never let it go on this long

- Fred would have seen George’s lovestruck expression the first time he saw you and said-

- “Well are you going to ask them out?”

- Fred always was the bold one, George was just following his lead most of the time.

- That fireworks thing in their last year was entirely Fred’s idea. 

- George would sputter and shrug in response

- ‘I was just lookin’, a man can look can’t he?’

- Fred would have given him one of his wicked grins and said:

- “Look if you don’t ask them out now, then I will”

- And pushed him across the street, holding him to it

- And then when he was halfway across the street towards you Fred would shout:

- “And see if they’ll give us a friends and family discount for the store!”

- George is grinning just imagining it

- Fred wouldn’t have cared at all that you were a muggle.

- All he would care about is that you would make his brother, his best friend, happy.

- “Honestly George, you get hung up over the dumbest things-“ Fred would have said

- “You like them don’t you? They make you feel good about the world and life?”

- And George would just dumbly nod

- “Then that’s all that matters doesn’t it? That you care about someone, and that you can see a future with them. All that other stuff- it’s just noise”

- Alright he’ll try then

- Not just for Fred, but for himself too.

- George strolls into your shop on Monday, an hour before you open-

- “Oh hello George! You’re a little early, I’ve got your hydrangeas trimmed I just need to get your potted plants ready and-“

- “Would you like to go out sometime?”

- “-then I’ll fix up the roses for y-“

- Huh?

- You freeze for a moment, almost dropping the plant in your hands

- Did he just ask you on a date?

- “If dinner is too much, maybe just tea- or coffee?”

- Maybe it’s not exciting enough for you

- Ugh! He knew he should have suggested something more fun like the zoo or maybe a botanical garden?

- But you’re around plants all day, he didn’t want to make you think he only knows one thing-

- “Friday?”

- His eyes shoot up to look at your face, he hadn’t even noticed he was staring at his shoes

- “What?”

- “Friday” you repeat, you’ve got a smile that seems lovelier than any of the flowers you grow.

- “Is Friday good for dinner? I close up at six”

- He grins so wide he’s afraid his face might break

- “Friday is perfect”

[miastideclock]

Kim Namjoon Drabble, "2. 21. 50."

Kristina asked:

hi! do you think you could do a drabble with Namjoon (RM)?? And i looked through ur pick a number thing- could you do it with 50 - 21 - 2 ? Thank youu!!

(also idk if you include names, but if you wanna my name is Kristina but my friends call me Cricket)

Dude, i love your name!! And considering the numbers you chose, i'm assuming you wanted it to be kinda sad, bordering on angsty? please let me know if that wasn't what you had in mind, and i'll cook you up a new one!!

Word count:

2. "Listen, if you're gonna break my heart, can we do it outside?" 21. "This isn't gonna have a happy ending, is it?" 50. "I don't think I love you anymore."

Iron. You identified the taste in your mouth as iron. The liquid was warm and odd in consistency, and yet the taste fell familiar. You quickly pulled your hands away from your lips to see what was bleeding, shocked to see your fingertips.

One of your worst habits included biting your fingernails, especially when you were nervous- and truth be told, you had never been more anxious and nervous than you were right then. So when you had gotten yourself into a bit of an overthinking-state, you had been nibbling away, causing your fingers to bleed. As it wasn't too much blood, you just wiped it away on your hoodie, not bothering to get up to get a tissue.

You took a look at the clock. Nine forty-five.

Namjoon had a couple of his boys over for pizza and some games, but he had promised you they would be out of the house by eight thirty, since you said you needed to talk to him. But judging from the hoying and cheering downstairs, you could say it was safe to assume they were still here.

You sighed and got up from your seat on the floor next to the bed. Usually you would be at a friends house when Namjoon wanted some guy-time, but today you hadn't had the energy. So hiding out upstairs had been your plan-b.

You slowly made your way down the stairs, as to not make any of the steps creak. When you finally made it way downstairs, you crept up behind Namjoon who was standing behind the sofa, a soda, or maybe a beer- you couldn't really tell from where you were standing, in his hand. You gently placed your hand on his back, trying not to startle him. Your mission was accomplished when he softly turned around, giving you a big smile.

"Hey Cricket. What's up?" He smiled even more and wrapped his free arm around your waist and pulled you in to give you a kiss on your forehead.

To everyone else, it might have looked like you were deeply in love, and that everything was perfect, but that was far from the truth.

Namjoon had been working a lot lately, which isn't necessarily a problem. The problem was that you didn't mind. You didn't mind having the house to yourself and being away from Namjoon, actually- you had started to prefer it. The days he came home early, you found your heart sinking just ever so slightly. It disturbed you. All you wanted in the world was to cherish him and love him just as much as you did the first years you were dating- because that's what he deserved.

He had never done anything to make you fall out of love with him, but those things just happen sometimes.

"Sorry about the guys still here- they'll leave soon, I promise." Namjoon said, jumping to the conclusion that this was what it was about.

"No you don't." Hoseok called from the couch as he tossed a piece of popcorn into his mouth.

"No I don't." Namjoon laughed, but soon stopped when he saw you weren't joking around with them.

Namjoon on the other hand, hadn't noticed much of a difference in your relationship. Sure, you had been acting kind of distant the last few weeks, but he had just assumed you were giving it your all at work, and didn't always have the extra energy to be all lovey dovey with him all the time.

"Can I talk to you? Privately?" You finally asked, in kind of a quiet voice. Not that you were trying to hide what you were saying from the other boys, but Namjoon was so close, you really didn't need to talk any louder.

"2. If you're gonna break my heart, can we go outside?" Namjoon matched your volume, but was obviously kidding with what he said. Little did he know, it wasn't far off from being what was about to go down. You gave him a gentle nod and turned around, while still holding his hand. You then carefully lead him outside on the stairs leading up to your front door.

"Please sit down with me." You asked when you sat down on the stone steps. He did as he was asked and sat down so close that your legs were touching.

"21. This isn't going to have a happy ending, is it?" Namjoon was a lot less playful this time, and hit the nail on the head with his comment. You felt a lump grow in your throat as you grabbed his hand, intertwining your fingers.

You didn't want to break up with him. You didn't want to- at all. You wanted to fall in love all over, and be the partner he deserved. Someone who loved and adored him, someone who supported them the entire way. Someone who didn't wish he would work overtime.

"I have so much respect for you, and everything you do. I care for you deeply, please don't get that wrong." You started, a stray tear falling from your eye. You don't bother wiping it away as you know there will be plenty more running down your cheeks in just a few minutes.

"But?" Namjoon urges you to continue as he looks down at your intertwined fingers, gently stroking the back of your hand.

"50. I don't think I love you anymore." It barely came out as a whisper, but when it did- the world froze. Namjoon gently pulled away his hand from yours as he now rested his elbows on his knees, looking onto the street ahead of you. "I wish I could do something about it- oh my god, if I could! But I don't think that's how this works."

The silence after you finished speaking was deafening. He didn't say anything, and neither did you. It was as if the traffic even knew to go around your block rather than through it, because no cars came passing by anymore. The birds could no longer be heard.

"So what happens now?" He sighed as he looked at you, tears in his eyes. The sight only made the lump in your throat burn even more, tears now pouring down your face like a waterfall you were unable to control.

"I don't know." You started, hugging yourself as you didn't know what else to do with your hands. "I'm scared." You finally whispered.

Namjoon could relate to you, so almost as if he was acting on instinct, he wrapped his arms around you and guided your head to rest on his chest as you cried.

"I don't know." He admitted before taking a small breath. "But I know we are going to get through it together. Of course it sucks that you don't have feelings for me anymore, but that's not something I can do anything about- and neither can you. We'll just have to deal with it."

The silence came around once again, but this time- it wasn't as loud. It was more comfortable.

This was the reason you were begging and praying to fall back in love with him. Even when you broke up with him, he was kind and caring and compassionate. He was holding and comforting you- even though he should be angry and frustrated. Maybe he was. Maybe he was just hiding it.

"I'll love you forever, you know that right?" He mentioned after he placed his head on top of yours.

"I know. And I'll love you too, just not in the way I need to love you." You sighed as you finally wrapped your arms around his waist.

A few more minutes passed before you finally pulled away from him, knowing that if you didn't do it know, you would never be able to. "I'm gonna go get a few things, and then a co-worker is going to pick me up. I'll be back tomorrow so we can discuss a few things, okay?" You said as you got to your feet, reaching out a hand for Namjoon so he also could get up.

He nodded as he grabbed your hand and hoisted himself off the steps.

"I better get the guys home too then." He sighed and wiped his face with the back of his sleeve, just to get rid of any residue from the tears.

You walked back inside where the video games and music were now muted, the boys sitting on the couch in anticipation. They didn't know you were planning on doing what you did, but they had probably read your body language enough to know the news you were delivering weren't exactly great.

"Hey, are you guys good?" Yoongi asked once you both stepped into the living room, your hand still holding Namjoon's. The two of you looked at each other, communicating through the looks you had evolved over the many years you had been dating.

"We broke up." You both said simultaneously.

Even though the boys were his band-members, and his coworkers- they still had plenty of love for you as well. So when you broke the news to them, you could easily tell they had difficulties with figuring out who to run and hug first. You just gave them a sad smile and then walked past them to get upstairs, leaving Namjoon behind as well.

Grabbing a bag, you felt your hands shake. You didn't want to pack. You just wanted to sit on the floor and cry with your boyf-

Ex.

Your ex-boyfriend.

The realization finally hit as you were about to losely toss your toothbrush into your bag, but it dropped to the floor before you could even reach the toothbrush. You felt your knees begin to give out, so you quickly grabbed the edges of the sink to support yourself, catching a glimpse of yourself in the mirror as you did so.

You hadn't heard the front door open and close. You didn't even hear someone come up the stairs, and especially nothing when they came into the washroom where you were standing.

He didn't have to say anything for you to notice he was standing behind you though. His cologne warmed you up a bit inside, so it was easy to tell who it was.

You slowly turned around, leaning against the sink still- just in case.

"Do you think, that in another lifetime-" You cut off your own whisper. Namjoon took a few steps closer, only a few centimeters between your bodies now. Then he slowly nodded, knowing exactly what you were trying to ask.

He then closed the gap between you, and held you close. It didn't take long before you hugged him back, not knowing what else to do.

"I love you." He whispered into your hair.

"I love you too." You replied as you dug yourself deeper into his chest.

"Not enough."

Damn, who hurt me? 🤡

Anyways, I hope you liked it!! Feel free to request again!

-bentley

[waezi2]

Re-reading Yu-Gi-Oh (part 1)

So... I bitch a lot about Yu-Gi-Oh. When I don’t complain about it online and accuse it of scamming kid me, I ridicule the story and the many holes in the game rules.

But I actually used to love this manga with a burning passion. I bought it because I was fixated with the cards, but instead I got traumatized. In an awesome way.

So I decided to re-read the manga about the possibly best known TCG game in the world and see how it started, how it evolved, and if the story still holds up.

So, I’m reading chapter 1, and we have to talk about the art.

The art style at the beginning was chunky and sometimes downright awkward. But it was still very enjoyable. The characters were very expressive and the tone of the style could swing quickly from wacky and rubberhose like to eerie and brooding depending on the situation. It makes you forgive odd-looking legs and hands that becomes massive. It is clear that it is someone’s first project.

So, this is Yugi. Possibly the cutest and meekest punk kid who ever lived. Yugi is not an outdoor person, so he spends most of his recesses inside the classroom. He brings a ton of games to school, hoping that someone might wanna play with him, but all of his classmates prefer to go outside and do stuff like basketball. And being a short teenager who practically looks like a little boy means he is not a desirable team mate in any ball game.

This is totally just a theory, but I think Yugi’s signature punk hairstyle is his way of trying to look a bit more edgy to try do something about his cute appearance.

... Yeah, it’s not working. He still looks like a fricking Gummibear.

As Yugi is minding his own business, we meet two familiar faces.

... their names are actually Jounouchi and and Honda, but most people know them by their American names, so I will just refer to them as Joey and Tristan. 

It’s so odd to see their old designs. Especially Joey since his hair is not as big and square like as it is today. And what the fuck is up with Tristan’s face?!

Anyways, while Yugi decides to play with the most valuable game in his collection, Joey and Tristan decides to mess with him. They make an interesting bully duo where Tristan is more loud and is clearly having more fun bothering Yugi who is too short to put up a fight while Joey seems more stoic and is almost annoyed by Yugi for being a pushover. He even tells Yugi to be a man about it and at least try and take the game back from him by force. So while Tristian just enjoys picking on Yugi for the heck of it, Joey seems to sincerely dislike Yugi.

Luckily, Yugi doesn’t have trouble with bullies as such since he is friends with Tea who is so tough that she actually intimidate Joey and Tristan with sheer attitude. That’s actually impressive.

... A shame she is most of the time just the damsel in distress.

Tea is the only person in class who hangs out with Yugi since they have been friends since kindergarten. And she doesn’t mind staying inside at all since a ton of the guys are jerks who only wanna play basketball with the girls since it gives them an opportunity to look up their skirts.

Yeah, there is a lot of that in this manga. Most of the males in this series are kinda horny. the humor often relies on it, which downright creepy at times.

Even Yugi finds basketball more appealing now that he knows about the skirt-looking.

Lewd panty-shot aside, I think it is a nice detail that Yugi is as pathetic as the rest of the dudes in school, he probably just doesn’t have the courage to try get a look. It makes him less of a pure hero.

Altight, let’s stop talking about Yugi being a closet creep:/

Yugi shows Tea what his greatest treasure is: A LITTERAL treasure.

Yep, this is the famous Millennium Puzzle, practically the mascot of the series. It’s an ancient puzzle found in an pyramid that Yugi got from his grandfather who runs a game store. The puzzle is extremely valuable, both because it is from ancient Egypt and it is made of gold.

... And Yugi brings it to school where Tristan and Joey pushes him around...

Yugi has been struggling with the puzzle for eight years despite being a game nerd. Even though it is a blow to his not that big ego, he keeps trying to solve it since the box says that if he will be granted a wish if he manage to solve the puzzle.

Meanwhile, Joey and Tristan makes the fatal mistake of talking about picking on Yugi while Ushio is close enough to hear it. He is the school’s hall monitor and rumor has it that he is downright psychotic and is feared by most of the students. Heck, some of the teachers are uncomfortable being near him.

And this guy has decided to become Yugi’s bodyguard, something poor Yugi doesn’t take serious when Ushio tells him that.

Joey and Tristan are unaware how screwed they are as they keep having their fun bothering Yugi without our hero knowing it. Joey managed to steal a piece from the puzzle box before Tea interrupted, and Joey decides to throw the piece in the school’s swimming pool so that the puzzle becomes worthless as it can no longer be solved. I gotta say, that is pretty twisted and surprisingly sneaky of a teen bully. It’s downright creepy.

Speaking of creepy...

This is Yugi’s grandfather Sugoroku. He runs the game shop that Yugi lives in and is a living encyclopedia when it comes to games of all sorts.

And he can’t just tell Tea that she has grown. He HAS to mention her breasts as well. Da fuck is up with all the sex talk and panty shots in this series?! Does Kazuki Takahashi(the author) have some sort of issues?!

Yugi’s grandfather notices that Yugi is STILL trying to solve the ancient puzzle and warns Yugi that the puzzle is supposedly cursed. That the archeologist and his team died mysteriously shortly after finding the puzzle and the last one to kick the bucket said something about a “shadow game” with his dying breath.

That however makes Yugi even more determent to solve the puzzle. If it really is magical then chances are that he will be granted a wish by completing the puzzle.

Personally, I would call the nearest museum and sell the dang thing before it could kill me with it’s insane cursed magic.

Speaking of insane, Yugi realizes that he should have taken Ushio serious when he said he would be his bodyguard.

Yep, the SOB has dragged Joey and Tristan behind the school building and kicked their asses through and through. Tristan is in so much pain that he is barely conscious and Joey is so pummeled that all he can do is watch as Yugi shows how surprisingly brave he is as he demands that Ushio leaves them alone, even refer to them as his friends and that they were just trying to make him a man.

Yeah, picking on someone because they are too timid and demanding that they fight you despite knowing that they hat violence is the right way to make someone a man. Hip hooray for toxic masculinity!

Yugi defending Joey and Tristan results in him getting a beating as well.

One of the interesting things about early Yu-Gi-Oh is the raw and ugly violence. We talking dirty violence where people get kneed in the chest and kicked while they lie down. Not just off-screen, we witness our heroes be pummeled, making the series a bit more gritty and frightening. And this series is not for those with a weak stomach.

Joey is stunned, partly because Yugi defends him, but way more of the short spiky-haired kid’s courage. But Yugi is anything but afraid. After all, he refused to fight Joey, but he still tried to get the puzzle back(not successfully, but he made an effort instead of just squirming).

After Ushio finished kicking poor Yugi’s ass, he tells him to bring him money as “payment” for his “bodyguard service.” And we talking 200000 yen, that’s a lot of dough.

Ushio even pulls a god damn knife(!), just to show how fucking crazy he is!

Yugi goes home to see if he has money enough to pay Ushio, but he only has 1656 yen. In frustration, Yugi decides to solve his unsolvable puzzle, just to think of something else than the brute with a knife who is waiting for him at school.

But what do you know? Yugi finally get the hang of it. He sees that some of the pieces just needs to be rotated differently and he finish it in a couple of minutes.

... Or he WOULD have. He finally sees that one of the pieces are missing, breaking his heart and making his awful day even worse.

But Grandpa has the last piece. He tells Yugi that one of his friends from school had found it and asked him to give it to Yugi. And that he was soaked despite it not raining.

As Yugi is happy about being able to finish the puzzle and returns to his room, his grandpa thinks about that the boy was Joey and that he asked him not to tell Yugi it was him that came with the puzzle piece. Joey also told him about Ushio blackmailing Yugi, so Grandpa secretly puts money in Yugi’s schoolbag so he won’t get in trouble.

And this is where it get’s freaky.

Yep, here it is. the iconic moment Yugi gets blessed by the puzzle so that he can turn into the split personality we refer to as Yami which is Japanese for “Dark”.

Yugi then calls Ushio and tells him to meet him outside school at midnight.

Ushio is surprised as he sees that Yugi is wearing some sort of costume and that he looks way more cocky than before.

Yugi tells Ushio that he has the money he demands, but he has twice the amount. Fricking 400000 yen!

But Yugi only “owes” 200000 to Ushio, so he suggest that they play about them in a dark and twisted game.

Yugi and Ushio take turns stabbing the stack of money placed on their hand. They have to stab hard enough to take more than one single bill. The winner is the guy with most yen bills.

As they play, Ushio seems to be winning... but when it is his turn, he can feel that his hand is way too eager to stab.

This is not just a weird-ass game. This is a “shadow game”, a game that shows your true nature. Ushio’s greed is now collected in his hand, and he so desperately want to win the game that he can’t control it. He realizes that if he stabs, he won’t be able to control his strength and he will penetrate his own hand. Ushio has to either A) give up and keep his hand or B) win the game with one hand less.

Ushio picks C.

Ushio tries to kill Yugi, but that was a mistake. The puzzle has made him super human and he leaps from the ground, evading the knife.

And cheating in a shadow game is a big no-go as the host of the game has authority to punish you.

Yami Yugi curses Ushio with “Illusion of Greed”, meaning he will be doomed to live in an imaginary world where he sees nothing but money everywhere.

Next morning, he is still outside the schoolyard like a drooling idiot who yells about all of his imaginary money.

Yugi has no memory of what happened but is glad he no longer has to be worried of Ushio who is a harmless nutcase. Not only that, he has finally finished his puzzle... and Joey offers him his friendship.

And that was the start of the horror manga turned card game commercial. It has a lot of charm, is very eerie and I think I prefer Yami Yugi’s first look that is more child like. making him look downright creepy.

This retrospective will continue ASAP.

Till then, I’m Waezi2, and thanks for wasting time with me.

[withallthingslove]

I feel like this whole love triangle thing, especially this season is just distracting everyone from what’s important. (I get that with her now in Canada it def makes sense to address it and now that they have addressed it let’s not get side tracked and move on). Tbh, I don’t even seen it as a love triangle anymore bc it’s pretty clear who she’s in love with. But that simply doesn’t mean she doesn’t love Luke anymore and it’s just pointless to pick teams / see who she comforts more or how she comforts them etc. Hannah is Luke’s daughter so ofc she shares that pain the most with him. Hannah is also the daughter of someone Nick loves so much so him helping June find her daughter is gonna get a different reaction from her than when Luke helps to find THEIR daughter. But at the end of the day she loves both of the men but she’s clearly in love with Nick. I just hope June and Luke start communicating more and work things out and be great co parents/ friends. (And ofc I would love to see Nick, June and Holly in Hawaii at some point but rn that seems like it’s too good to be true). Both of these men are her family weather anyone likes to admit it or not and I think both of them will be in her life forever. So why can’t they all just be bffs and work together to bring Gilead down 😩

Yeah I get that as a TV show, they are going to play up the "love triangle" since it is a trope that does spark engagement. But I also don't really view it as a love triangle either, the same way I didn't view the Katniss/Peeta/Gale dynamic as one in The Hunger Games.

In its most basic sense, it is one because June is torn between two men. But I think it has more nuance and complication than most love triangles simply because of the gravity of the stakes in the show, and because we get to see the triangle evolve as June falls in love with Nick over seasons before being reunited with Luke, the man she originally was in love with. It's like it has stages, and I don't think we are at the final stage of June "choosing" one of them. And I've said repeatedly I don't know if she will ever choose, because the show could take the route of the books and have the ending be ambiguous with all of the characters alive and that's all you know.

It's obvious June is in love with Nick but still has a strong love and obligation to Luke. I would love to for June and Luke to just be best friends/co-parents the way Moira and Luke are. Nick is June's family the same way Luke is, so neither man is going anywhere in June's life.

[blouisparadise]

Here are some of the amazing bottom Louis fics that were posted or completed during the month of September. We hope you enjoy this list. Happy reading!

1) Hard Candy Dripping On Me (Til My Feet Are Wet) | Explicit | 1997 words

Louis gets fucked on a plane. That’s it.

2) Fucking Nightmares | Mature | 2151 words

Louis has a nightmare. Harry comforts him.

3) You Could Take A Lick (But It's Too Cold To Bite) | Explicit | 2469 words

“You look kinda thirsty.” Louis croons softly.

Harry leans back in his chair and tilts his head to the side. His eyes are covered by the pair of expensive shades, but Louis feels his eyes drifting down his backside as he lays on his stomach.

“Why don’t you bring me a bit of that ice cream, darling?”

Louis and Harry have fun in a summer day.

4) Interview With The Vampire  | Explicit | 4135 words

Note: The fic pairing is Louis/Robert Pattinson.

Working at an alpha magazine wasn't always easy for an omega like Louis, but he's just landed his biggest interview yet with an A list actor who has asked for Louis especially. Unfortunately, the interview is with Rob Pattinson, the biggest pain in the arse alpha on the planet.

Inspired by Rob’s interview in GQ Magazine and not actually about vampires

5) Conozco La Vida | Teen & Up | 4761 words

Note: This fic contains no explicit smut, but since it’s omega Louis, we’ve included it. 

"I have a son," he declared, there was a very thinly veiled layer of hesitation.

Harry was unaware in the direction which this conversation was heading but chose to stare at the man instead.

"He is an Omega," he dropped the pivotal piece of information.

Harry's attention was hooked now.

"He has been raised in an Omega convent all his life, he hasn't been in the presence of any Alpha who isn't his immediate family."

"I am still waiting for you to make a point."

"You could take him as an Omega."

Harry did not react, his face remaining perfectly free of betrayal of any sort of emotion and leaned back upon his chair, his leg crossed upon his knee. "You are selling your son to me?"

6) It’s Hard For Me To Go Home | Not Rated | 4890 words

Don’t call me baby again.

7) So Baby, Let's Keep It Secret | Explicit | 4638 words

“I’ll leave with you,” Harry said after a beat, sounding sure of himself.

“What!? No!, you can’t leave with me, Harry, you have a life here. You have a job and friends an-”

Harry kissed him in the middle of his rambling. “Which means nothing if I don’t have you.”

Into You Music Video AU.

8) ZOMOS | Mature | 5659 words

Is it easy to forget everything and start afresh? Is it easy being served with hateful glances and insults when all you wish for is to be loved? Is it easy to make it seem like everything is alright when in reality your world is crumbling into pieces with every breath you take?

Is it easy to be the omega who is unwanted by their alpha?

9) Your Biggest Fan | Explicit | 9075 words 

Just like everyone else, Louis has a few habits that he can’t seem to break. Guilty pleasures, rather. His nails are perpetually short because he can’t quit biting them, the bottom of his shoes scuffed from tapping his foot constantly. Sometimes his leg gets a cramp from bouncing it so often underneath his desk. That isn't too bad, he reckons, just some average teenage coping mechanisms.And also, occasionally, minor instances of theft.

10) Making A Splash | Explicit | 9557 words

“You want this?” Harry muses, fisting his cock as he drags his hand lazily up his thick length. Louis eyes the motion and nods his head absentmindedly. “You want to show everyone at this beach how much of a slut you are for Daddy’s cock?”

“M‘your slut,” Louis immediately replies, inching closer, inching closer with his eyes glued on Harry’s glistening cock, precome shining under the sun as it dribbles out his slit.

Harry grins widely and stops the movement of his hand to grip himself at the base again, pushing Louis’ head down. “Show everyone how much of a slut you are.”

11) Hung Up High in the Gallery | Mature | 14006 words

When Harry’s best friend, Louis, comes to support him at his art show, he decides they need to do some celebrating afterwards. How fast do the lines between friends and lovers get blurred ... or better, get painted?

12) My Home Is Your Body | Explicit | 15341 words

Note: The fic pairing is Louis/Henry Cavill.

He had seen who had made his senses go haywire. His ex was in the front row, five feet in front of him. He felt his eyes on him even as he mechanically made his way to the end of the runway, hoping to God he didn’t look like a maniac. Everything was a blur. He somehow managed to walk the rest of the way without falling or emoting anything. Why was he HERE? Of all places.

...where Louis is a successful omega model and the last thing he expects is his ex to become the co-partner of the new company he works for....

13) There's Nothing Like It (Nothing At All) | Explicit | 15471 words 

Note: This is a sequel to this fic.

His hands are outstretched on the mattress like he’s reaching out for something, reaching out for Harry. It makes his heart swell, almost bursting with affection and love. He only waits a bit longer before reaching over to turn off the light and pulling Louis to his chest, smiling when the omega immediately sighs in contentment, nuzzling into his skin happily.Tomorrow, he tells himself. Tomorrow, they’ll talk about it.-Or, Harry isn’t ready for things to change, and the end is just the beginning.

14) Seven Simple Words | Explicit | 15535 words

It’s not like he and Louis were a couple. No, they might have been a lot of things—best mates and colleagues with a seemingly convenient friends-with-benefits arrangement—but never a couple. It wasn’t Louis’ fault he didn’t feel the same way and couldn’t reciprocate Harry’s feelings in the way he’d wanted, the way he’d needed. Harry had allowed himself to get in too deep, his entire being aching to be loved back by the object of his affections. But in love, as in life, you don’t always get what you want.

15) Works Like A Charm | Explicit | 18061 words

Ever since Louis joined the team in fifth year, a few facts have become set in stone.

One: Louis is the best chaser in Hogwarts.

Two: Harry is the best beater in Hogwarts.

Three: They do not get along.

So it’s really unfair of Liam to think that forcing them to spend time together as Louis recovers from his injury will make them the best of friends. The last thing Louis would do is get along with that git.

16) The Way This River Runs | Explicit | 27417 words 

It’d be so easy to just open his mouth and plead with Harry, to scream I’m sorry until his voice disappears, but he can’t. Be it his pride or his ego or his insecurities, he just can’t do it. The worst part is that he knows Harry would probably forgive him.

But Louis doesn’t want phony forgiveness. He doesn’t want Harry’s soothing words and pity embrace, thinks he might just break altogether if he was offered them. He feels like he’s made of glass recently and it’s to the point where he kind of wants to tip over the edge, just to see if he’d shatter. Just to see who’d be there to pick up the pieces if he did.

17) Give Me Love | Explicit | 41041 words

Louis doesn't feel like a good omega, Harry doesn't remember how to be an alpha, and they figure it out together.

18) Falling Out Of Fashion | Explicit | 42123 words

Harry Styles has been the established face of the Grimshaw House of Design for two years. It’s a prestigious and coveted modeling contract Harry took away from once-famed supermodel Zayn Malik. With the model transition Grimshaw’s designs went from a more urban, Zayn-forward aesthetic, to a Harry-favoring flowery, flowing femininity in the Grimshaw designs for men.

So when Harry sees a dress Grimshaw made for a famous Marvel actress, “only a tease”, Nick says, of the evolving look, Harry knows Grimshaw is shifting his aesthetic.

Harry wonders if he can pull off the look.

19) Three Days In February | Explicit | 189346 words

Louis is cursed after a night out with the lads and the five have just three days to figure out what happened and how to break it before Harry and Louis both lose their sanity and maybe something more. Louis can hear everything Harry thinks and Harry isn’t sure he can keep his feelings for Louis a secret from his own mind.

Ridiculous amounts of banter and angst, a lot of Harry and Louis alone together, a healthy dose of OT5 friendship, and one very magical weekend.

20) Boss Bitch | Explicit | 386901 words

Harry had always wanted to work for this successful mafia; the mafia that everyone knew, everyone feared. Led by none other than the pahntom

"L'eue Courante", whom everyone knew existed, but had no other clues who this person could be. The only thing known was a high heel the phantom once left.

So this person had to be woman, Harry assumend. And man, was he wrong.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

You can find other monthly roundup fic rec lists here.

[sorry-i-ship-drarry]

Simple perfection

| Prompt - Feeling their pulse | this prompt can be read stand alone but comes off with reference from this prompt. Check out if you'd like |

Voldemort had evaporated like ashes in the air, not a single shred of him was left anymore . There were cheers from all across the halls and people were jumping up and down with excitement, contentment, happiness. Some were crying tears of happiness, some reunited with their families, some were kissing and harry was there watching all of it. And then he saw the glimmering eyes towards him, the eyes that held hope after all, the eyes that held respect, eyes that were now filled with love. Wizarding world had won the war, harry had after 7 years fought voldemort and almost died in the process but killed him. They had won the fucking war.

Before Harry could've acknowledged what had happened Hermione had hugged Harry tighter than she had ever before and with tears brimming in his eyes, Ron had too joined along. They laughed and cheered him on, told him how proud they were of him. They loved him and he loved them too, after all they were now his only family left and that thought ached him but just for a little bit he thought, he could be selfish and cry in joy that they had won against Voldemort.

And then his eyes fell upon the blonde sitting in corner with his parents. He threw a vivid smile at Draco and he smiled back. Harry came back and Draco couldn't he more happy ,yet he was terrified.

The days flew a little faster than Harry would have anticipated. In the honour of winning the war , few people had stayed behind at Hogwarts while a few returned home. To harry, Hogwarts was home and he wanted to do anything to make it feel like home again. The reconstruction of Hogwarts started 2 days after the war and harry had suddenly grown very much in popularity. He was the most wanted man in Britain, in a good way.

He was probably walking back from Ms. McGonagall's office when he ran into Draco. Draco merely smiled at harry and walked away. The words shared between them before the war had somehow been forgotten but it has sure developed a relationship between Harry and Draco that wasn't hate anymore. It was only during the last week at Hogwarts when almost everyone had left and only a few had remained. Even Ron and Hermione flew back home and despite their offer to harry, he didn't go along with them. In the last week at Hogwarts, he realised only a few Hufflepuff had remained, ravenclaw's table remained empty , only Draco and few Slytherin's at the Slytherin's table and a few of Gryffindor's who Harry didn't really knew. He had been staring at Draco quite awful lot, he had presumed one of these days Draco would've bought up something about what happened before war but he didn't. Quite frankly Draco looked far more distracted than anything else. It's not like Harry didn't find himself lost in thoughts but Draco looked worse somehow, almost the same how he looked back in 6th year.

It was exactly 5 days before they would've left for home when Harry gathered his courage and went to Slytherin's table. As soon as Draco saw Harry, he flinched at first but calmed down right away.

" how have you been ?" They both asked simultaneously . They smiled at each other before Draco asked him to go first.

" i- I'm not entirely sure. There's a part which feels fine but then there's this part of me which doesn't. They both kinda co-evolve " Harry replied thinking wisely of what to say

" you ?" He added

" i- same as you I suppose " Draco gave him a little smile .

They both fell silent, maybe even enjoying the fact that in the silence they weren't totally alone. The fatality of the war had left them only with each other, it was quite surprising how neither would've imagined life would turn to be this way but the truth was, right now nobody understood them better than each other.

" i- I- you must be wondering why I hadn't came to talk to you after t-that night ?" Draco finally mumbled . Harry shook his head. He understood Draco, he understood the situations they were both in but only a cruel man would be selfish enough to not give the other time for themselves.

" it doesn't feel the same anymore, does it ?" Harry asked. Draco shook his head. Nothing felt the same anymore. Almost as if nothing was real, as if it was a dream they didn't wanted to be awake from.

" Harry-"

" Draco-" they chuckled at the occurrence of the situation twice . This time Harry let Draco talk first.

" I know it's a bit too early to think of this stuff but w- you deserve a little break from all of it. I understand you wanting your time alone but I meant what I said that night. I meant each and every word of it. To be honest I was a-afraid you wouldn't su-survive but now that you have I don't know how to tell you how happy I am that you have "

Harry smiled at him lightly " Draco, you too deserve a break. You were as much as in the war as I was, and yes I do deserve a little break and I'm glad you meant your words that night because then I - I wouldn't had been sitting here. I know we come from a lot of different backgrounds but we're humans right and I would like to continue what we started that night. Maybe stick to our words ?" Harry asked carefully

" I'd like that " Draco smiled after a moment.

" are you sure though ?" Draco asked with concern . Harry nodded.

Harry decided that he didn't wanted to take Draco out on a fancy date but he wanted to make it seem like it meant something. He didn't want any wine or drinks or a fancy restaurant to take him to a date because none of it mattered, all those things didn't make up for how he wanted to treat Draco. He wanted it simple because that's how it is supposed to be now. Simple.

Harry waited outside the Great hall at 4 for Draco who was right on time and they fled off to the destination of the date. It was simple just as Harry had wanted it. It was a small picnic at the cliff side what you could see from the astronomy tower if you looked carefully.

" this is -"

" breathtaking ?"

" yeah " Draco nodded.

They finally sat down at the sheets Harry had sprawled just before he had come to pick up Draco. He had put the statis charm on the food so it was still warm .

" how did you come across this place ?" Draco finally asked as they had settled in

" it was back in 5th year. I used to come here with Hedwig. When supposedly Voldemort had control of my mind I used to feel well deserted- more isolated from anyone, almost angry so i used to just come here and well spend time here. Somedays I even wrote Sirius letter's from here. It bought peace " Harry explained. Draco watched Harry intently as he explained and he thought if he could only Harry in sunlight, he might be able to see his eyes shine differently.

" I'm sorry about si- I mean your godfather"Draco gave him a small smile

" you'll run out of sorry's if you're going to be sorry for people who have died in my life" Harry answered. Draco frowned

" it isn't funny "

" yeah - I just heard it out loud and it sounded insensitive of me " Harry replied and chuckled soon after , Draco joining along.

" I can Only imagine what must it be like for you " Draco consoled

" i- thanks I guess " Harry replied furrowing his eyebrows not sure what was the correct answer to it.

They sat for a few moments in silence until Draco broke it

" it doesn't feel real"

" it doesn't " Harry turned a little over to see draco placing his hand over the side of his neck In a weird way

" what are you doing ?" Harry asked curiously

" checking my pulse if I'm still alive, If all of it is actually real. Seems-"

" too good to be true . I had that thought right before this too " Harry answered for him.

" if you're doing that, check my pulse as well" Harry chuckled. Draco jokingly checked Harry's pulse and soon broke into content laughter.

" I'm glad we did this " Harry said . Draco smiled and nodded .

" I meant what I said that day Harry. I never really hated you but I was just bought up to hate you , you know. Sometimes you watch and learn from people around your house to not do the same thing as they did and sometimes we copy their path. Me being stupid enough copied my parents. Don't think badly of me -"

" I don't Draco and you don't have to explain me anything. It's all in the past now. You've made some questionable choices and quite frankly I wasn't the most pleasant to you either. We both reciprocated that feeling of hating each others Gut " Harry shrugged it off as if it didn't matter and it didn't.

Draco wasn't used to this sort of relationship or this sort of understanding. He was bought up to believe money and power was everything and things like love didn't matter but this was different. Draco wanted to understand everything, even if it takes his whole life.

They watched the sunset together with small conversations but mostly stealing glances at each other and looking forward and maybe eating at some point.

" does it feel different Harry ? Now that it's over ?" Draco finally asked something he had been dreaming about questioning ever since the war had ended.

" i- I don't think it has quite hit me. It feels different, it feels better not being attached with Voldemort anymore but there's so many things I'm still scared off and there's so much to look forward to. It feels different but someday's it doesn't. Before this I knew my life's motive but now, I just don't know " Harry replied thinking twice before choosing his words. Draco watched him in content. This Harry was different, Draco thought. This wasn't the chosen one or the saviour of the world, it was Harry, just Harry and he could spend hours just looking at harry.

" does it feel different to you?" Harry asked him

" I may come off badly but yes. There's some part of me that's happy that won't have to see that Red eyes narcissistic creature but then there's a part of me who knows so much is changing, who knows what I will have to face, things which I haven't yet which is inevitable. It scares me. It feels different but I don't know if it's a good thing or not " Draco told him lost in his thoughts.

" t- that was wise answer. But I don't think much would happen to you. I promise you that. You were just a kid, hell you still are. I know you're afraid they're gonna put you up in azkaban but I'm sure they won't " Harry replied carefully putting his hand over Draco's shoulder. Draco looked at harry but didn't say anything.

" you fought valiantly though " Draco said

" you sounded like Voldemort just now" Harry chuckled

" well can you blame. That man breathed around my neck " Draco chuckled and in a childish way they broke into laughter. And they laughed until their breath ran out.

And then they talked and no longer In an uncomfortable sort of way but in a nice causal way. Things about plans after this, or what was their favourite desert despite the fact they already knew that, or about which place would they like to visit. They talked about everything and nothing and this was their sort of perfect and they liked it.

It was simple but it was perfect because it was them.

Requests open

Day 4- the missing piece

Day 6 - pinned

[justa-starrynite]

like me better (Coco Cruz)

A/N: Good afternoon everyone! This is Bea! I’m back with another installment for our fall series! This one is for Coco! I’ve never written for Coco, so I hope I did him some justice!

Megan and I would like to thank you for all the love you’ve been giving us! We truly appreciate it and we love giving you all some content to read. 

We love you all!

Masterlist

Word count: 1654

We’re currently working on the tag list! If you would like to be added, please message us or drop a comment!

CREDITS TO THE ORIGINAL GIF MAKER!

Johnny Coco Cruz never thought he deserved anything. 

At a young age, he wasn’t exactly nurtured by his mother. The earliest memory he had of his mother was when he would watch men come in and out of their apartment, his sisters trying to shield him away from her work. 

His eldest siblings Elma and Selena, they were decent. 

But as soon as they had the opportunity to leave Celia’s home, they left.

At an early age, he recalled that he never called Celia mom, at least not when he spoke of her with his friends. He would rarely refer to her as his mother. But till he was eighteen, he called her mother.

Till he got in the Marines and told her she could fuck herself.

He had an ounce of respect for her, just due to the fact she birthed him, but otherwise, Coco stopped caring about his mother way before than he could remember.

Due to his tumultuous relationship with Celia, he chose to not be a part of his kids life, Letty and his son, Leo. He wanted Letty to be given up for adoption as her mother was no better than him, but Celia adopted her at her faux reasoning of getting a second chance as a mother. 

Coco never believed that and he was correct.

It was for welfare.

He finally found his place in the Marines, the discipline and skills he learned didn’t prepare him for life outside of the military, but it prepared him to contribute to his family.

The Mayans MC.

A place where people who didn’t belong anywhere fit. 

A place where Coco was able to find a family he never knew he needed.

Johnny Coco Cruz never thought he deserved anything.

Not until he met you.

You were a tattoo artist for one of the shops the club frequents. It was rare for you to do a piece for any of the members since you were in high demand and the shop owner, your father, was one of the few people the MC feared.

A gentle man that would make no hesitation to kill for you.

Your father had numerous stories going around about him, but the most prominent seemed to be him being a former gang leader who reformed.

Your father was never part of a gang, he was a firefighter once upon a time and now, he was a tattoo shop owner.

When Coco first laid his eyes upon you, you were leaving the shop as he and Riz waited for one of your co-workers to finish a piece on Creeper. 

You turned towards them, your glasses slightly slipping down the bridge of your nose. A small smile to greet your father’s favorite customers appeared on your face, your eyes lingering at Coco before walking out.

And that was the start.

Coco never tried to talk to you, you were too pure for him.

Too good.

So kept his distance because nothing ever goes well for him and he was almost certain that nothing would ever happen with you.

But then you worked on a piece for him and his life, well his self-hatred due to past trauma began to change.

“Damn, so you punched him on the face?” Coco chuckled, trying to contain his laughter since he didn’t want to ruin the piece you were doing on him.

“Listen, he was messing with my baby sister, of course I did. Let’s be honest he fared better with me cause my dad would have killed him.” You ran the needle along Coco’s skin, admiring the previous work he had done.

“Damn mami, remind me never to mess with you.” Coco smirked.

“I don’t think you’ll need a reminder, but I got you Coco Cruz.”

From there, your relationship evolved. You two started off as friends and in six months, Coco won you over, which wasn’t hard since you had a crush on Coco since he stepped foot inside your father’s shop. You were shy and it’s not like they were exactly approachable.

But when you got to know these men better, you realized they were definitely hardened men who could kill people in a bat of an eye, but, they were also kind hearted men.

There was hardly any black and white in the world.

So many grey areas were what was had instead.

You and Coco have been together for four years now and as much as Coco didn’t think it would last, your relationship would surprise him instead.

Coco was never a big fan of himself.

He thought he was worthless, a scum and he was making up for past grievances by keeping to himself and not ruining others’ lives, like his children.

But you showed him that he was more than that.

Traditions he used to scoff at were now becoming things he looked forward to.

New year’s celebration.

Christmas celebration

Thanksgiving celebration

And Halloween.

You absolutely loved fall and as soon as it was October, you were decorating the house you two shared. 

This was the second year in a row that you were decorating the house and if Coco was honest, he looked forward for the rest of the years you would be doing this.

He realized early he wasn’t willing to let you go. He was in love with you and you made him better.

Even if you forced him to drink a pumpkin spice latte.

Currently, you, Letty and Coco were at the pumpkin patch, looking for three pumpkins that you three could carve together.

Another thing Coco appreciated was how you accepted every aspect of his life. The club was going to be hard, at least he thought so, but you were part of this band of misfits before you two even dated.

But then Letty came and he became lost.

He couldn’t ruin her life.

But then your words brought him down.

“I know you feel that you’re a terrible man, one who ruins anyone’s life when you touch them, but that’s not true. You made my life better. The best thing about life is that everyone gets a second chance, this is it for you and Letty, take it.”

He took your advice and he was incredibly glad he did so. 

You gave him the strength to push the doubts away and give Letty the life she never had with Celia. You and Letty immediately got along and ever since then, you three were a little happy family.

Coco watched as you and Letty took your time picking the pumpkins. He never understood what exactly you were looking for, but that victorious smile on your face always made the question fade away.

“Coco, are you just going to stand there or are you at least going to pretend and help us pick?” You teased your fiancé as you playfully narrowed your eyes at him.

Coco chuckled. “For what? You two got it handled.”

“Your input would be nice.” You pouted.

“Okay mami, I got it.”

You three picked your pumpkins and just as you were all going to go home, Bishop called. Coco had taken his bike, meeting you after his shift at the yard.

“I’m sorry reina,” Coco frowned.

“It’s okay, I get it. We can do it later.” You offered him a smile, understanding the importance of the club. “Letty and I can go shopping for Halloween costumes.”

Coco took his wallet out to give you some cash, but you shook your head. 

“Don't be silly, I got it.” You pressed your lips on Coco’s and hugged him. “Be careful.”

Letty hugged him as well. He got on his bike, glancing at his mirror every once in a while till you both were out of his range.

Coco never cared about losing his life when going to do something for the club, but now, he had something to live for.

Coco came home later that night with Letty asleep and you sketching on the couch. He saw the relief come over your face and he had to smile at that.

“Hello mi amor.” He dropped a kiss on your lips.

“Hey baby, everything okay?” You questioned.

“Yes, just usual bullshit.” The rebels were ambitious and had a good cause, but at times, Coco questioned just how great the cause was. 

You nodded, continuing to sketch, feeling at ease with Coco home. 

Coco watched you, the sense of calmness that he felt whenever he was with you was something he craved for as long as he’s known you. He always waited for the rug under his feet to be pulled, knowing you wouldn’t stay with him for much longer, but for some reason, you’ve stayed.

And with how much he loves you, he would never want you to walk away.

“I love you.” Coco blurted out of nowhere.

The way your eye softened made his heart skip a beat, the blush on your cheeks further making his heart rate race.

“I love you too. Everything okay?” You closed your sketchbook then, placing it on the coffee table. You sat on his lap, his arms wrapping around you.

“Yes, everything is good baby.” Coco never liked himself too much. Due to the verbal abuse from Celia, his self esteem wasn’t the best even though he’s been working on it. He craved the assurance that he was enough, that he was good enough. 

He never had a true family either.

But it was changing with you.

He became a part of your family. You had him wanting something more in life. You gave him the strength to be there for Letty. 

“Just realized something.”

You raised an eyebrow, running your fingers through his hair. “And what’s that?”

“I like me better when I’m with you.” 

Johnny Coco Cruz never thought he deserved anything.

He definitely didn’t like himself much.

But being with you, growing with you, he found himself liking himself better.

[reversemoon255]

(This is the final of a three-part series chronicling the development and ideas behind “Dungeons ‘n’ Dragonites,” a Pokémon DnD campaign. This last entry will be about the final string of encounters, some of the later ideas for story elements, and a deep dive into the overarching themes of the campaign’s Starters. Speaking of, the fantastic art of them, along with many of the other original Pokémon seen here, was done by @extyrannomon on Twitter, and I highly suggest you check them out.)

Dungeons ‘n’ Dragonites - Phase 3: Fauxchemine

Like the Queen Durant, the Steelix/Glacix fight would have been a transitory battle between phases of the campaign, taking place right before the Starters were about to evolve for the final time. Glacix was an idea I came up with early in development. As Rock, Steel, and Ice have a relationship throughout Pokémon, having Onix evolve into a specially tanky Ice-Type rather than the physically tanky Steelix made sense. This was also a design I put a lot of work into the actual proportions, like stretching its face vertically as Onix is circular, and Steelix is horizontally stretched. Also, as Steelix has two long spikes on every other segment, Glacix has four smaller spikes in the same pattern.

Glacix was also the first of the four penultimate boss encounters before the close of the campaign, each representing one of the four sacred beasts of Chinese mythology. I thought it would be a pattern that players could recognize and possibly plan ahead for. Glacix was always planned as the Phase 2-to-3 transitory boss, but I actually had roughly prototyped the other three before I realized Glacix fit into role of the Azure Dragon (which I was missing).

The second of the bosses, representing both the Black Tortoise and Rare Variants, was a Dire Torterra. The idea was this Torterra was symbiotic, housing a Sudowoodo instead of a tree, and hiding its identity was a shiny Altaria capable of Mega Evolving thanks to the Key Stone that had replaced one of Torterra’s stone spikes. This was a rough concept, and I’m sure it would have changed drastically by the time the players would actually encounter it.

Third, representing both the White Tiger and Ultra Beasts, was Shora (from Shodo and Tora, the Japanese words for calligraphy and tiger). A pure white tiger that paints floating, metal stripes above its body with its brush-like tail. This was an idea I was very happy with, though I lacked the artistic abilities to render it effectively. If I remember correctly, the markings above its shoulder were based on the Kanji for Tiger. I also hadn’t settled on an ability for it, which was key for depicting Ultra Beasts in this campaign.

And the last of the penultimate bosses was Phanic, being a second Ultra Beast and representing the Vermilion Phoenix. Sadly, I had little planned for this guy apart from some concept designs, like the rest of them. I was working on these as the campaign was starting, and didn’t pursue finishing them after its premature conclusion.

Phanic (from Phoenix and Panic) is actually an Ostrich. If you picture a phoenix, you typically imagine great plumes of feathers around the head, wings, and tail, which are all things Ostriches specifically lack, and I wanted to subvert that typical depiction. I liked the idea that when it was startled, it would scatter its feathers resulting in an exclamation point forming using the spot on its face. It was supposed to seem unassuming compared to the many larger and more imposing bosses, though just as dangerous. Also, it was Electric-Type because it is frequently “shocked” *Ba-dum-tish.*

=====

Let’s talk about our players. One of the backstory elements our Grass Trainer, Ethan, had was that his parents’ restaurant was struck by lightning and destroyed some time before he went to school, and saw a Pokémon at that time. This left him with a fear of lightning (ironically picking an Electric-Type Starter). With this knowledge, and as I was using Ultra Beasts, I altered his backstory slightly so that it was caused by a Xurkitree, and would eventually encounter one during the campaign with his victory over it (probably with a lot of Wisdom Saves) curing his phobia.

Johnny, our Fire Trainer, had a goal of becoming an entertainer, but was vague about what kind. I had an idea for a “Streamer” Trainer Class he could run into. Someone who uses their Rotom Phone to live stream battles and get reactions and advice from their chat. (Let’s face it, if Pokémon were real, this would totally be a thing.) There was also DJ Tomomitsu, who runs Stelopy City’s Trainer Radio, and was a Gym Leader. The idea was to present a bunch of different Pokémon-based entertainment ideas and professions and have him decide which ideas he liked and wanted to pursue.

While our other players were aiming for careers, Orion, our Water Trainer, was more interested in exploring his relationship with his family. His father in particular; both he and his wife being high-ranking executives for Silph Co., and raising their children to also be successful. However, Orion had always wanted to be a Trainer, and it was his parents that prevented him from adventuring. I had it that his father was so against the idea was because he, too, was a Trainer in his youth. But not a successful one, failing many more times than he succeeded, and didn’t want his son to suffer the same disappointments as he did. His partner was Rhyperior, btw.

Lastly was our Fairy Trainer, Arthur. He wanted to be a Gym Leader, and cited specific interest in the Galar League. He also mentioned in his back story that his father was belligerent and against the idea. While the Leaders of the Galar League are entertainers by profession, if you look at the list of Gym Leaders and Kahunas in US equivalent regions, almost all of them have a profession and run Gyms on the side:

(Restaurant Owner, Museum Curator, Artist, Model, Business Tycoon, Pilot, Actor, Teacher, Rock Star, Mayor, Shop Owner, Police Officer; 12/15)

It felt like a hobby, rather than a career, and I ran with this idea as it seemed like Arthur and his obsession with the Galar League hadn’t noticed this fact (nor had his player), but his father had and was pushing him into a sports-based career (one that is usually lucrative and has off-seasons) so he could have a well-paying job and time on the side for his interests, similar to Orion’s father.

Though, no DM can control their players, and even by the end of our fist session I could tell I would have to change some things. It’s just good to have some idea of where to lead everyone, and adjust as you go.

=====

There’s one more Pokémon I want to talk about before we get to the Starters.

This is Necrotiti (Combining Necro with the Egyptian God Nefertiti), an evolution of Cofagrigus, evolving if it’s holding an item called the “Ceremonial Jar” (literally a jar filled with Yamask’s human intestines). It was meant to evolve from the Yamask they could catch during their museum field trip. The reason it exists is... silly. It’s another instances where I wanted to surprise my players, and giving the “Gardevoir Treatment” to what I consider the creepiest Pokémon was funny (which I feel is a reason I cite a lot). And I was really happy with this design, which is why it got commissioned.

A lot of the original ideas I had for this campaign were meant to either surprise or creep out my players. Everyone I was playing with knew Pokémon very well, so I had this fear that if I presented them with a standard adventure they would either become bored or be able to easily predict where things were going. Having a Pokémon adventure within a single city, having it be more a mystery than a collect-a-thon, and using new Pokémon were all ways I came up with to keep interest high and have them guessing as to what would happen next.

Back to Necrotiti, despite having a sarcophagus Pokémon, we didn’t get a mummy. I wanted to make the body effeminate without being overly so, which is why her body is very geometrical in specific areas. For the mask, I went with a typical Egyptian Nubian motif mixed with some of the overall design elements and basic lines from Yamask, and the colors and patterns from Cofagrigus. But despite how much I like it, I don’t know if I would have used it. It didn’t match the Mutant Evolution concept, with its only similarity being that it’s a rare occurrence.

Onto the Starters: Epipesis has evolved into Drachenura (from Dragon, Lichen, and Meganeura). Grass Starters are typically based on extinct animals, and Flymph’s line is based on a Meganeura (an ancient species of giant dragonfly). Apart from some bulking out and additional colors, the lichen sacks in its tail are now yellow, as the plant matter has evolved with it. It supplies it with so much energy that it has to constantly move while the sun’s up to burn it off. Its tail tip is also based on the X-15, the fastest aircraft to date, as it was designed to be the fastest Grass-Type.

Steared has evolved into Auradiat (from Aura, Auroch, and Radiate). Now a Fire/Ice-Type, it’s based on an extinct species of cattle found around the time of the Ice Age. Its ability to absorb energy with its horns has become so powerful that they have frozen over. When I was originally designing it, I was actually trying to base it on the phrase “Irish Bull” (meaning a paradoxical statement), but as I kept working on it, it became more and more Minotaur-like, so I kept the Fire/Ice-Typing and dropped the more abstract elements. As I did, I actually made it more bull and less Minotaur since all Fire Starters are bipedal, and I wanted to try and avoid that.

Knaval has evolved into Chivalazuli (from Chivalier, the French word for knight, and Lapis Lazuli). This was probably my favorite example of features naturally changing as it evolves, with the antenna growing longer and the shield and lance growing harder (going from carapace, to stone, to crystal). Some of the things you might not have noticed at first glace were his forelegs becoming sub-arms on his chest, him gaining the lobster nose and it becoming a face guard, and how his eyes recess into his head. Also, almost every Starter is symmetrical (apart from patterns), with the only exception being Torterra, so I designed it to be asymmetrical throughout.

And Uteteo has evolved into Makutah (from the Aztec naming scheme used for their Gods of wealth and abundance and Utahraptor). He’s Fairy/Flying, with the gold adornments that first appeared on Uteteo now on his head and arms, giving him a more bird-like appearance. The idea was to have him naturally evolve from a Dinosaur into a bird, with the leg bands making them look more like talons, and the face mask giving him a beak. Also, he starts out with the singular sickle toe raptors are known for, and gets a new one every evolution, ending with a full set.

The thing that sets these Starters apart from ones you’d find in the games is that these are designed to be a team. As such, there are a few themes they all share to help reinforce that. (This ignores Utaw, but) All the Starters, throughout their evolutions, have a distinct yellow detail on their heads (eyes, nose ring, and antenna). Furthermore, once they reach their final stages, they share colors between them, with Drachenura having red on its extremities, Auradiat having blue neck fur, and Chivalazuli having flecks of green in its gemstone. And on top of that, they also all have two overarching themes. First is they all represent different time periods, with Drachenura being pre-humans (Precambrian), Auradiat being prehistoric humans (Ice Age), and Chivalazuli being more modern (Medieval Period). Secondly they all represent DnD, with a Dragon(fly), Auradiat filling the role of a minotaur and its connection to a labyrinth/dungeon, and the adventurous knight who traverses them.

There’s also reasoning behind their types, as all three’s secondary Types are also strong against their usual counterpart (Grass and Electric are both strong against Water, Fire and Ice against Grass, and Water and Rock against Fire). Furthermore, Electric, Ice, and Rock are all strong against Flying, which is the reason behind Makutah’s Type (a joke against the player who joined late).

Makutah does fit into these themes, but more loosely as it was created later. Utaw and Uteteo lack the yellow facial details (though they do have yellow eyes), only really achieving this during their final evolution. He also doesn’t share any colors, as Fairy is outside the usual threesome. It does somewhat fit into the themes of the others, but not as cleanly. Utaw, being a Dinosaur, is still pre-humans, but closer to them than Flymph is, and having Aztec themes puts him past Medieval and closer to the Renaissance in terms of human history, but is very close compared to the other time gaps. Also, the gold was partly to fit him into the DnD theme, representing treasure.

=====

One of the first things the players were told at the beginning of the campaign, and was reinforced throughout, was that Pokémon from outside the Wellou Region were mysteriously popping up all over the place, with the Ultra Beasts being the most extreme example. As to the cause, there were a number of red herrings. Silph Co. employees could occasionally be seen in areas where UBs were with strange equipment, Tomomitsu could occasionally be found before something would show up, and there were a few other strange characters like the Regional Champion or Silph Co.’s president. The only definite thing they would know was that there was a strange, creepy, grey Charizard that would occasionally appear when they took something down.

However, it would eventually be revealed that the above were only trying to understand what was going on, and prevent the appearances of such dangerous Pokémon, like our heroes. And as a massive Ultra Wormhole appears above the city, they come face-to-face with the true mastermind. Not an evil team, or a lone conqueror. Merely a single, twisted Pokémon. And our heroes have interfered with its fun long enough.

“You stare up at the now familiar form of the grey Charizard, which stares back with unblinking, dead eyes... Its mouth stretches wide, wide enough to swallow you whole, and a hand appears. And another. And another. Four skeletal hands pry its maw open from the inside, stretching it until its skin falls down to settle on its hips. What looks down on you now, with a single, glowing eye, is a monstrous form made of bone and rotting flesh. And witnessing the four of you before it, it lets out a high-pitched, chilling laugh...

“‘Fofofofofo...’“

Fauxchemine. A sadistic Ultra Beast capable of warping time and space to its will. All the disturbances throughout the town, all the strange creatures that have appeared, all the monsters sent to terrorize our heroes; all the result of its twisted sense of fun, and the consequences of getting in the way of it.

So there’s a running joke among my friends that we all “hate” Charizard. Not actually, but it’s always pushed in marketing with new forms and such, even though its popularity has been dropping steadily over the years. As such, I thought it would be somewhat cathartic to have the big bad they have to beat up at the end be related to Charizard. ‘Chemine’s skeletal nature comes from trying to cinematicly picture the encounter in my mind, with the eerie image of the mouth stretching open from the dialogue earlier. With bone white and rotten greens, the skin wasn’t meant to reflect Charizard as a shiny, but rather with all its color drained from it, as it’s more a puppeted skin than an actual part of the Pokémon. And as many Pokémon draw inspiration from Kaiju, ‘Chemine does, too, specifically calling back to an Ultra-Kaiju named Greeza with space warping abilities.

It’s Steel/Dragon with Thick Fat. When planning encounters, especially this late into the game, Auradiat made things tough since its offensive Typing is insane, and that combination made it resistant to all of the Starter Types except Fairy. This was supposed to be the toughest fight in the campaign, so I wanted to build a Pokémon that would be difficult to deal damage to. A swift Pokémon able to warp around the field, summoning Ultra Beasts or other versions of Charizard as adds or for specific attacks, I wanted this to be memorably difficult.

Oh, and the name? It’s meant to rhythmically sound like “Pokémon,” with the ‘faux’ symbolizing its disguise, and the ‘mine’ representing its personality. Everything in this world is its to play with.

But that giant Ultra Wormhole wasn’t just for show. Part-way through Phase 2 our players were sucked through a Wormhole themselves, both they and Fauxchemine bearing witness to a titanic creature as they did, and upon its defeat, it is let loose upon the city:

Standing over 100ft tall is Wreknarogg (from wreck, to destroy, Níðhöggr, a massive world-ending creature from Norse mythology, and Ragnarok, the end of the world). A massive symbiotic group of four Pokémon from a dead world, the whale-squid Bayleige, the parasitic Serrasite, and the barnacle Rhizocano. This was actually the first symbiotic Pokémon I designed, and its creation sparked the others like Shiinotic and Torterra so this wouldn’t be the first time our players encountered one.

Whales are the largest creatures on Earth, so using one as the base for a kaiju-sized Pokémon fit. It also helped that the prototype designs for the Cloverfield monster were based on a whale, so I had something to go on. Secondly, I really like a lot of the eldritch design philosophy, and a lot of those are based on sea creatures, which is where the combined squid elements came from. Also, when I was prototyping the design and trying to make it creepier, a friend suggested having a parasite coming out of its blowhole, which is what sparked the creation of Serrasite and Rhizocano (as whale’s are known to have such parasites in real life).

This was a design very inspired by the world it was supposed to inhabit. Coming from a desert world where they are the only living things remaining, they symbiotically support each other to stave off their own inevitable death, with Bayleige able to create rain with its ability and Rhizocano able to make artificial sunlight to feed Serrasite. Serrasite then gives energy to Bayleige to allow it to keep moving, and Rhizocano takes energy from Bayleige. It’s an incomplete system where energy is slowly lost over time.

Stage 2 of the final boss wasn’t supposed to be as intense as the last one. A gimmick for this fight was, at the start of every round, I was going to roll a D100, and an event would happen. They would be things like their friends showing up with healing items, trainers they knew joining the battle, wild Pokémon they’d befriended getting in pot shots, etc. It was meant to be a fun, celebratory, “you’re at the end of the campaign” fight rather than an intense one off the back of another. I was even considering having everyone use their full parties.

But after it’s defeated, a thick, dark haze enshrouds everyone. With their allies gone, and left with just their Starters, our players are alone in a dark void. I did say there were four Pokémon earlier...

And the final encounter is Wreknarogg (Core). The Pokémon who brought the three titans together, and controls them while siphoning off some of their energy to survive. Similar to Phanic, this was another unassuming Pokémon. Designed to resemble a virus while calling back to aspects from mythical Pokémon like Jirachi or Manaphy. I understand it might not feel as climactic as there wasn’t any set-up compared to ‘Chemine, who was shown throughout, or the previous Wreknarogg, who was foreshadowed, but I wanted a 3-stage boss fight, and this felt like a good way of concluding it.

While stage 1 was supposed to be difficult, and stage 2 was meant to be fun and call back to the long journey, stage 3 was an un-losable, cinematic fight with a somewhat somber tone to it. It was the final fight, the end of it all, and there’s a certain level of sadness that comes with that in accordance with the jubilation of completion. It was also meant to see how much everyone had grown; how would they handle this encounter? Fight it? Catch it? Persuade it? Maybe I haven’t listened to enough DnD finalés, but in how many can you beat the final boss by being nice to it and calming it down?

=====

And that’s the end. There would be some sort of epilogue, picking up with our characters some months or years later, but that’s not something I could write without witnessing the actions of the players. I was debating having everything that came from an Ultra Wormhole be sucked back in after Fauxchemine’s defeat, including the Starters (pull a Digimon Tamers), but as Wreknarogg came from a dead world I thought that a little cruel.

And to end things how I usually do; Overall, despite not getting off the ground, I was very happy with this project. I’m the type to pick up and drop projects frequently, and the fact that I stuck with and continued to work on it for months was something I was really proud of. It was also a great learning experience on many levels. And who knows; maybe I might do something like this again in the future...?

[delusion-of-negation]

top 10 (ish) ridiculous or annoying FAQs:

(click at your own discretion)

1) "kids today rely on others to do everything"

ah yes, damn those participation trophies! if it wasn't for them my hands wouldn't be fucked, and I wouldn't need people to write for me. but seriously, stop reading boomer comics, and go outside to meet some actual young people.

2) "sus that a non-american says mom"

yeah, because it's clearly the superior version, and I'm not too patriotic to concede a defeat.

3) "sweaty, the victims of abuse by catholics are real people, stop appropriating their pain just because you want to hate catholics; plus teachers abuse people just as often anyway"

so firstly, I don't hate anybody. and secondly, regarding the fact that victims really do exist, [insert "of course I know him, he's me" meme here]; although I don't often talk much about the abuse I went through or what my religious beliefs are. but, more importantly, statements like "survivors are people" can be phrased like "some people are survivors", and when you're unable to act according to the latter (like when you don't even consider that somebody might be one) then you display a failure to recognise the former - you're projecting; a survivor can't be appropriating their own pain, but you can be appropriating it to silence one. and thirdly, teachers do abuse - the problem isn't and has never been purely religion, rather that abuse is often done by somebody in a position of trust, power, and familiarity; and that the lack of a global minimum enables totally legal abuse on top of the illegal stuff. people with access and respect have more opportunity to abuse than those without, and that goes for teachers too. but, once again, you can be appropriating the pain of survivors to deflect and silence people. please remember this before you say that shit.

4) "get help/therapy"

way ahead of you - years ahead of you. but it's not magic - people who say this often act as if you'll start behaving differently overnight. not only are some things simply beyond the ability of talking therapy to completely rectify, it also takes time and has to be selective. you've got to pick your priorities, and that's definitely not whatever ship or joke you're mad at me about today. therapy is a slow, arduous process that can't guarantee results - it isn't "anti-recovery" to recognise that, it's honesty. while I've been in therapy for a long time, it is not necessarily going to change whatever you don't like about me - whether that's because it can't, because my focus now is on more important or urgent things, or because I don't want to change that.

5a) "tell your family you ship incest, see how that goes; normal people find it disgusting"

actually, some know, and they're fine with it. in fact, one prefers sibling pairings in fiction to all other dynamics because, to paraphrase, "it's a deeper level of messed up co-dependence". so unfortunately for you, my remaining family (by which I mean those not dead or cut out of my life after abuse and so forth) actually are able to distinguish between fiction and reality. plus, my reasoning for caring if they find it gross or not pertains only to recommending books and such - their opinions do not dictate my tastes.

5b) "don't sexualise/appropriate incestuous abuse" and "I bet you enjoyed being raped" and other attempts to upset me over 5a

firstly, as I've already said here, survivors can't be appropriating ourselves. in addition, you're not owed people's history or trauma - it's not okay to require people's personal information, or else you'll send anon hate and accusations of appropriation. secondly, I'm not sexualising our abuse (not just because I write horror, and so a lot of my writing is intended to be creepy, not sexy); these stories aren't about us, they're not us at all. entire dynamics/people (fictional or otherwise) aren't all going to be applicable to us or identical to us, just because they have something in common with us; they're not us and they're not accountable to us. thirdly, the fact that people send this stuff (attempting to trigger people's trauma over ships) is so much more worrying to me than somebody making our communal imaginary friends kiss. you're trying to hurt people. and finally, to the "I bet you enjoyed it" crowd (if you're at all serious): do you think you'd enjoy being in a real zombie apocalypse, alone, afraid, and really at risk of being eaten alive? a fictional scenario does not feel remotely the same as a real one. this isn't rocket science - things that look like you aren't you; fiction isn't reality; don't send anon hate. (edit: comparable "just leave me alone, I'm not hurting anyone" sentiments for yandere stuff, and anything else you decide I'm naughty for.)

6) "you'll be sent off to do manual labour once your communist revolution happens"

while I don't know why people think that I'm a communist, a dictatorial regime probably isn't going to want me to do manual labour. they're more likely to just shoot me; I'm useless and a liability. call me crazy, but something tells me that "ah yes, we shall give ze deranged cripple ze power tools" isn't the communist position.

7a) "they/them can't be singular pronouns"

yes they can, and they're used as such in both shakespeare and the bible. but you don't have to say this - I'm also okay with he/him, so you could've just used those and chilled out. also, do I look like somebody who views the rules of grammar as fully immutable and imperative?

7b) "enbies/aros/pan/etc aren't valid"

do you really think that you're going to change any hearts or minds by putting that in my ask box or under my funny maymays? chill out, it's not worth the effort - you could be planning a party (in minecraft) and having fun instead. it isn't worth my time to rant at everybody who's saying something isn't valid, updating how I'm explaining it as my opinions grow and general discourse around it evolves; I'm just who I am, somebody else is who they are - why bicker in presumptuous ways about if that's enough? it ultimately is valid, in my opinion, but that isn't an invitation to keep demanding that I debate. (edit: old posts of mine probably don't phrase things incredibly, on this or anything... I tried.)

8) "what are your politics?"

my politics are informed first and foremost by the knowledge that I'm not cut out to be some kind of leader - I don't want to be the guy who tells everyone else what to do, I just offer what seem to me like valid criticisms of how we are doing things now, and general pointers on the values and ethics that I would prefer to move towards. things like individual freedom, taking the most pacifist route where possible, trying not to give excessive power to small groups of people (governments or corporations), helping those in need even when they're not palatable, and letting me suck loads of dicks. but please refrain from decreeing me something - there's not enough information in what I said, so you'll just be filling in the blanks with assumptions. (edit: workplace democracy seems cool to me; benefits are good; fair fines and taxes; and the "sperm makes you loopy" saga: 1, 2, 3, and 4.)

9) "you're a narcissist"

no, I don't meet the diagnostic criteria. joking on the internet that you're hot doesn't make a person a narcissist. the fact that I've chosen to keep my actual self-esteem issues to myself is not proof that they don't exist - you're just not entitled to that information about me. but it's also not narcissism to really like how you look. (edit: don't throw labels around carelessly too.)

10a) "kin list?"

the fabric of the universe, a zombie, dionysus, maned wolf/arctic fox hybrid, a comedian, big gay, big rock, ambiguously partial insincerity. (edit: kin list may or may not be incomplete.)

10b) "kin isn't valid/that's just being insane"

haven't we established that I'm deranged, and that sending stuff like this on anon is simply a waste of your precious time? besides, I do not care if it's invalid or insane - it's fun, I'm happy. (edit: see 7b for my opinion on sending me yet another ask with "that's invalid" in it; I'm not in the mood to discuss the nature of validity.)

bonus: "it gets better" and "trigger list?"

as I've said before, things just don't always get better for everyone - sometimes things can't be cured or even treated, sometimes they kill you; in some cases it could get better if not for a blockade or lack of time. the world is messy. it needs to be more normalised to reassure or comfort people without relying on saying that their issue will get better or be cured. it does suck to be this ill, but it also sucks to be made out to be a lazy pessimist, just because I have the audacity to not play along. and as for the trigger list, I don't like providing people with an easily accessed list of ways to hurt my feelings or harm me - upsetting me is supposed to be challenging, and thus rewarding. if you want a cheat sheet then you're out of luck, I'm afraid.

bonus #2: "FAQ stands for frequently asked questions, it doesn't need that s at the end!"

yeah, I know, I just enjoy chaos and disarray.

bonus #3 (edit): "what are your disabilities and how exactly are they incurable and/or deadly?"

again, I don't tell the internet everything about me, especially when it poses a risk, especially not as an easily accessible list for you to refer back to whenever you feel inclined to hurt my feelings. that is understandably a sore subject. (edit: that includes physical health issues btw.)

bonus #4 (edit): "so we shouldn't be critical?"

if it wasn't clear from my answer about politics or my post in general, you can have opinions about things, and you can voice that. it's just not realistic to exist at extremes: to think that you alone should dictate what exists in fiction, or to think that people shouldn't be expressing disdain or criticism of any calibur. say how you feel about things, that's fine, but it's also fine if people find that they don't value your input. plus we're all flawed, we can all be hypocritical from time to time, we all get bitchy, and we all make mistakes, or even knowingly fuck things up. that's important to keep in mind, whether we're talking about the one being criticised or the one doing the criticising - poor choices of words, imperfect tone, or contradictory ideas are inevitably going to happen occasionally.

congrats on reaching the end! if you have, at any point, said one of these to me, you owe a hug to your nearest loved one (once it's safe).

edit: might add more links/bonus points in the future when I think of things, but it's late now. (sorry for links where prior notes in the thread have my old url, that may get a tad confusing; also, not all links are my blog or my op, since it is to illustrate points/vibes, not to self-promo.)