#originally ​zevran was going to be ‘kill him’ and morrigan was going to be asking for advice

[libartz]

This post again but DAO

[pisscrossiant]

Dragon Age: Origins headcanons because It's my current hyperfixation 😋

Leliana and Zevran hang out the most out of the party, if they are left back at camp while the warden is off with the others they are constantly talking to each other about anything. If they are left in denerim they will go a pick rich people's pockets and laugh about it the whole time.

Morrigan is in love with the Female warden, she knows that in the end the Warden might die however so she does not pursue any kind of relationship with her. When she sees the Warden with another lover she gets upset so she isolated herself from the rest of the tents to try to avoid seeing them.

Wynne constantly teases Zevran/Alistair/Leliana if they are in a relationship with the warden to the point Zevran and Alistair will actively avoid her when they can due to the embarrassment.

Alistair questions his sexuality alot when Zevran flirts with him.

Oghren has gotten into multiple bar fights with multiple people all because he hears them talking bad about the Grey Wardens, he gets into those fights just because his favorite person is a Grey Warden.

Sten is actually very fond of the Warden (even if he doesn't show it) and enjoys their company.

Zevran flirts with Sten the most out of anyone in the party (besides the Warden) because he loves tall men

Morrigan actually gets along pretty well with Zevran, while his advances towards her do annoy her she does enjoy his company.

When bathing Leliana will wash Morrigan 's hair for her since Morrigan didn't learn how to wash her hair properly in the wilds.

After the Goldanna incident when in Denerim Alistair will look towards Goldanna's house alot, wondering what it would be like if she had accepted him rather then casting him out.

After the encounter with Talisan Zevran will be increasingly paranoid that the crows will find the Warden and the party and kill them while they sleep.

Leliana sings songs at camp and Zevran will dance to them.

Zevran has Acid reflux really bad and even though he complains about Fereldon's food being bland he's glad that it doesn't make his Acid reflux flare up.

Shale comforts the party as best as she can when they're upset.

(my canon warden) after the encounter with Tamlen in the party camp the Warden has a breakdown realizing that if Duncan didn't find her when he did she would've turned out like Tamlen.

Zevran asks the Warden how life was when being with the Dalish, he likes to know what life could've been like if his mother hadn't left her clan and had Zevran with the Dalish rather then him being born in a Brothel.

Morrigan doesn't get much sleep, nor does she need to. She usually gets about two-three hours of sleep then stays up either reading or talking with Leliana.

Zevran has constant nightmares from his time with the crows, when he wakes up from them he is happy to be out of that situation. After this he usually stays up and just lays there staring at the stars or he'll talk to Leliana by the fire.

Leliana will have Nightmares as well from the time she was tortured in Orlais after Marjoline framed her. When this happens she'll sit with Morrigan by the fire and talk to her until sunrise, or she'll sit and talk to Zevran if he had a nightmare too.

Sten will pick up the warden and put them on his shoulders if they start getting tired from walking, this often makes the other party members jealous since they still have to walk, but Shale usually puts them on her shoulders if she notices them getting tired too.

Alistair has a irrational fear of birds, when living in the Arl's castle birds would attack him out of the blue for no reason. This happened a lot especially when the Arl married Isolde, as she came with a pet peacock that would attack him if Alistair even looked at the damn thing.

Morrigan will turn into a bird and attack Alistair because of his fear. Over time it actually helped him overcome this fear.

Zevran speaks Spanish and calls the Warden "Mi Amor" and Wynne constantly teases him about it.

That's all for now I don't want to overfill it or anything, I might make a part two if I'm up for it 😋

[vigilskeep]

what would motivate Minerva not to do the dark ritual?

if she had called on alistair to duel loghain—something she might very well have done if i wasn’t going for a specific outcome, preoccupied as she is with fear of the optics of a mage slaying the hero of river dane—alistair would have killed him outright, rather than leaving her a choice. minerva is capable of asking loghain to do the dark ritual; he owes her life to her. alistair does not. i don’t think she is capable of asking it of him. so alistair is ironically capable of killing both loghain and minerva in one blow. i’m sure he’ll have fun with that later

i was also posing this as part of a playthrough where minerva betrays jowan during the origin. i think there’s a fun-awful arc where we go from the minerva who spits anything to survive. like an animal. or worse at a demon, and then does the exact same thing to her best and only friend in the circle, only to become the person who will die not just for her friend to live but for him to have the life he wants unpoisoned... but also doing that by not letting him make his own choice, and by leaving him behind and leaving everyone else who loves her behind. (maybe also acting on the circle-taught underlying assumption that her life is incapable of continuing unpoisoned, as his can, because she is a blood mage.) you know, where does that leave zevran? where does that leave morrigan, striking out alone again? where does that leave leliana, with no-one to turn to but the chantry once more? is that kind or cruel?

i like what sacrifices give you to play with. the sharp and sudden end, past which every question is left unanswered and everyone left behind has to grapple with whether it was selfish or selfless. it’s a really fun silence for the rest of the worldstate to play out in. i think it’s a characteristic choice of both minerva’s incredibly arrogant firm belief she knows best and her fiercely loving heart. and on practical concerns i think that she plays better in the later games as a larger than life ghost than as someone who is powerful and invested and motivated in all events but mysteriously, bafflingly not present

i’ve experimented with her using all her phenomenal ability to cast forcefield to hold her friends back as she goes, too strong for alistair to dispel fast enough

[gayhawkelatehomicide]

Updated Protagonist List

I'm going to add images to this, so it's going beneath a readmore for length reasons

Wardens

Aridhel Mahariel - bow rogue, romanced Zevran, straightforward dalish who neither understands nor cares about shemlen (or durgenlen) politics, blood magic is probably fine as long as you use it responsibly, anxious and blunt. "Let's focus on stopping the world-ending plague of darkspawn first, and worry about the rest of this bullshit later, hm?"

Saffron Cousland - sword and shield warrior, romanced Alistair, noble in every sense of the word but cheerful and friendly, Queen of Ferelden, Arlessa of Amaranthine (and Highever), killed Rendon Howe with her father's sword, fixated on duty. "Because it's the right thing to do."

Theodore Amell - arcane warrior mage, romanced Morrigan, bastardization arc powered by Morrigan whispering bad ideas in his ear, loves his terrible witch girlfriend, blood magic is fine and the chantry is oppressive, ambitious. "I am no longer baby, now I want power."

Renan Tabris - dagger rogue, romanced Leliana, exactly zero patience for shem politics, raised Andrastian (derogatory), canonically kind of a bitch, evil sense of humor, loves her stupid new shem baby brother, harden everyone, distrustful. "Like dogs, Shianni."

Valda Aeducan - two handed warrior, romanced Leliana, honorable and serious, trusts no one, girl raised in harsh political nonsense learns to trust her found family and forgive her bio family while unlearning bad lessons simulator, sneaky/quiet sense of humor, intense loyalty to her people, values tradition but values compassion more, genuinely regrets what happened with Trian. "For the honor of my house, though I myself have neither house nor honor."

Emmaera Surana - blood mage spirit healer, romanced Alistair, fey and strange, sweet but a little out of it, she and Merrill would get along so well because they both just say what they mean, falls for Ali like a ton of bricks after trusting him exactly 0% at first, has a council of spirits that advise her, definitely more than a little possessed, Templars aggro on sight, besties with Morrigan. "The Chantry won't tell you anything useful about the Fade, but I could. If you want."

Ashaterylen Mahariel - champion fighter, loves Morrigan but it's complicated, aggressive and no-nonsense, adopts Alistair as her comic relief to fill Tamlen's shoes, Not Okay™ but doing a good job regardless, my only warden who straight up dies, but we still get Kieran because magic, rather laconic, probably my most heavily headcanoned origins character. "Duty trumps sentiment. Every time."

Hawkes

Iris Hawke - knife rogue, romanced Anders, diplomatic but also way too intense for her own good, loves mages so much, circle mage Bethany, will do anything to protect what's left of her family, noble impulses but awful sense of humor, fanatic, very angry underneath her shell of politeness, diplomacy as a tool. "Why don't we try asking the Arishok nicely?"

Ian Hawke - elemental mage, romanced Fenris, sarcastic, sided with the templars because magic is an essential part of him but it's brought nothing but grief to him and his family, templar Carver, quip for every situation, never loses his positive outlook for long, self-loathing but doing his best not to make that everyone's problem. "Dad did WHAT for the Wardens? Why am I not surprised."

Kiera Hawke - two-handed warrior, romanced Isabella, sarcastic → aggressive, sad bastard warrior Hawke, everyone who gets close to her dies, Bethany dies, good attitude wrecked by the wear and tear of life, loves her buddies who are also terrible, angry and broken. "You tell me where Bartrand is, I'll help you wring his fucking neck"

Alice Hawke - knife rogue, romanced Merrill, circle mage Bethany, p much pure diplomatic, diplomacy as a way of life, mom friend central, no one is irredeemable, far too trusting, kind of a busybody, always thinks she knows best. "Clean your blades, watch your purse strings, don't be a dick."

Delilah Hawke - entropy mage, in love with Varric, pure sarcasm, sends Carver to the wardens, adores her stupid chaotic bisexual family, beat down by this world but stubbornly clinging to joy, flat refuses to talk about her problems. "Where would I be without my trusty dwarf?"

Quinn Hawke - blood mage, romances Anders, red from the beginning, low-key an asshole but also high-key he just doesn't know how to communicate, oldest sibling syndrome turned up to 11, inspired by Harker Zevsurana's Kier, fuck you mage rights. "Well, shit."

Andy Hawke - force mage, romances Anders and Fenris (it's complicated), strong purple laugh-or-cry type, so many canon alterations but the twins both live, grows a lot over the course of the campaign, big fuck the chantry, uses their staff as a polearm bc they're not great at magic, easily my most headcanoned Hawke. "Have any of you guys considered having a normal reaction to anything? Ever? Didn't think so."

Inquisitors

Miriani Lavellan - assassin bow rogue, romanced Solas, confused hardass Dalish girl doing her very best to navigate suddenly being in charge of all of this stuff, cares so much about everyone all the time, terrified but resigned to her responsibilities, self-sacrificing, sense of humor buried under all that sincerity. "I am the Inquisitor, through no virtue of my own. Vir suledin nadas."

Asher Adaar - two-handed warrior, romanced Sera/nobody (bc I meant to romance Sera but didn't know the right dialogue options so I kept waiting for it to pan out and it just sorta didn't), blunt and direct Tal-Vashoth mercenary who gets persuaded that maybe she actually is the herald of andraste, but honestly just wants to handle the things with as little religious and/or political nonsense as possible, blunt and violent. "We save Thedas TWICE, my hand wants to kill me, we save the exalted council specifically, and this is what we get?"

Stephan Trevelyan - rift mage, romanced Cassandra, a good sweet Andrastian boy, true prophet who has a meltdown when he finds out about Solas, best friends with Dorian, keeps the inquisition and wants to really save the world, a genuine idealist, stubborn AF. "Faith is a choice. The Maker set these events in motion so long ago we can no longer see His hand in them."

Samahl Lavellan - tempest knife rogue, romances Dorian, cheerful, sarcastic, and overwhelmed, insanely competent but good at hiding it, terrible little bastard, hates responsibilities, laughs in the face of danger (and Cassandra), keeps insisting he's not the Herald, kinda lazy. "I guess I'm learning now, aren't I, Mother?"

Riska Cadash - artificer knife rogue, romances Sera, direct and sometimes brutal but ultimately caring, criminal upbringing noble fashion sense, besties with Blackwall, andrastian and confused, consistently astonished by how easy it is to get things when you're the most important person in the world, one of my younger inquisitors but she doesn't act like it very often, really only when she's with Sera. "What's the worst that could happen?"

Dahlia Trevelyan - mortalitasi lightning mage, romances Blackwall, cheerfully irreverent young noblewoman flexing the edges of what she's allowed in this new role, filled with chaos and violence and entitlement. Fully does not believe in the Maker. Classically beautiful but with blue-gold eyes that go past "striking" into "genuinely unsettling" and, she caught some shrapnel from a spell gone wrong with her face a few years back so she's got distinctive scars. "Hey, look, at least dragons are real."

The Trio (all of whom have individual playthroughs but also come as a set)

Isene Lavellan - fire/rift mage, romances Iron Bull, primarily jokes and asks questions, basically a horrible mix of Miriani and Samahl. Sweet and a bit of a brat but ultimately up to the challenge. A disaster at the winter palace. Her general response to her workload getting heavier is to adjust the straps that hold the world on her back and carry on with a smile. "Bull, remind me why I accepted this job? Oh, right."

Harea Lavellan - knight enchanter and ice mage, romances Cullen, open minded and sweet, a bit naive but genuinely wants to make the world better, distressed by the mark and the everything but willing to bear it to keep others from suffering. Self sacrifice is a big theme here. Just a little (read: protected like Wynne) possessed by the actual spirit (of Wrath) who was attendant upon andraste, so she is quite literally the Herald. "No one is irredeemable!"

Rogelan Lavellan - sword and shield warrior, romances Josephine, kind of a hard-ass but willing to be romantic, would rather talk than fight but won't give up his ideals, careful and deliberate in everything he does but bold when he's made a decision. Stoic and pithy, but can be eloquent if he needs to. Understands shem bullshit better than most, because he's the kind of guy who studies the things that scare him. "Tell me how to help."

Continuities

Primary "Cannon" Continuity - Aridhel, Ian (or Iris), and Miriani - Protector, Catalyst, Survivor

Strong code of honor - Saffron, Iris, and Asher - Shield, Dagger, Sword

Fucked Up Andrastians - Theodore, Kiera, Stephan - Ambition, Sorrow, Faith

Terrible Senses of Humor - Renan, Alice, Samahl - Vengeance, Kindness, Laughter

Wrongest Choices - King, Viscount, Divine (I haven't actually made this playthrough but is a male rogue cousland, probably a guy Hawke as well and obviously not a mage but idk what class, and fem warrior Trevelyan)

Dwarf Run - Valda, Delilah, and Riska - Honor, Love, Trust

Definitely Not Possessed - Emmaera, Quinn, and Harea - Council, Temptation, Authority

Three Inkies - Ashaterylen, Andy, Rogelan/Harea/Isene - Sacrifice, Victory, Vigilance

[ungrateful-cyborg]

Happy birthday!

💬 (what is this about DA characters I'm hearing? Can you show/describe them and their personalities?)

In order: Armin, Lancelot and Amaya. Hawke is just Hawke so I didn't put him here.

I'm sorry, this is... long :'D

Armin Surana

He's my mage Warden. Born to a Dalish clan, he developed his powers at an early age. Unfortunately for him, his clan already had a few mages so they gave him to another clan living nearby. Being a young boy who very much didn't understand why his people didn't want him anymore, he decided that he didn't like his new clan and ran away. Eventually he found himself in a village where Greagoir discovered him after he set his own hair on fire out of anger. And Greagoir being a Templar, he brought the kid to the Circle of Magi where the story starts when you chose that origin.

Honestly his life in the Circle was actually pretty good. Past the few first months, he managed to find his place and didn't particularly want to leave after his Harrowing. If not for Jowan, he was mostly set on becoming First Enchanter at some point in his life.

And I think Alistair was very lucky that the only surviving Grey Warden save for himself actually enjoyed leading and already had a strategic mind.

Though mostly Armin is fairly diplomatic, merciful and patient. He does have strong opinions about certain things, but is careful about which ones he publicly expresses and which ones are for his inner circle only.

I do think though that not a lot of people figured him as the kind of people to become Zevran's fuck buddy... and to eventually settle with Morrigan (and their son).

By the time Awakening happened, he was a changed man. More military leader than idealistic Grey Warden, still driven by the will to help others, but as you can imagine, having to sacrifice the citizens of Amaranthine didn't help him sleep at night. Although I think that knowing he'd do it again if the need arose was really what made him look at what he'd become and decide he needed to take a break from that kind of responsibilities.

Hence why he purposefully doesn't return in Inquisition. He didn't trust himself to not be more ruthless than actually needed.

(Please don't pay attention to the tattoos, I didn't know he would've needed to be an adult in a Dalish clan to have them since it's not explained in the Character Creator. Also he was meant to look East Asian but the CC is... well, it exists.)

Lancelot Cousland

My second Warden, a Warrior this time because I wanted to replay all three games as pro-Templar this time. And what better for this than to start with a young and charming noble who mostly succeeded in everything he attempted, except for, you know, saving his entire family.

I'm not yet done with him (currently nearing the Landsmeet) but he's grown more serious, albeit still joking and occasionally teasing people, and also increasingly interested in having a say in how Ferelden is ruled. I'm still not entirely sure how to go to make him marry Anora but that's the plan XD

Overall, he's charming, smart and resourceful man, albeit still a bit entitled as you'd expect from a handsome and rich young noble (though he's not exactly rich at the moment).

He believes in Andraste and the Maker like Armin does, but while Armin wasn't much of a practitioner outside of asking for a Blessing from time to time (never hurts when you need to save the world), Lancelot is more devoted overall and also a lot more wary of magic and mages. He doesn't hate them, however, and always tries to treat people fairly. His upbringing just occasionally gets in the way and blinds him, and he's more likely to seek to maintain the statu quo.

Also Loghain won't survive this play through (he did in my first and Alistair didn't forgive Armin for this, but Armin figured that killing a National Hero wasn't the smartest political choice. Especially not when you're trying to marry your friend to his daughter.)

Lancelot is romancing Leliana, because I want to see what she'll say in Inquisition—and it was the most ic choice for him.

Hawke

I won't go into too much detail about him considering he's a lot more fleshed out in the game than the Warden or Inquisitor. But I chose to play a mage again, and he took the mages' side because really, much as there is a blood mages issue in Kirkwall, the Templars were completely off the rails.

And he's an apostate.

Anders survived my first play through because you don't erase 6 years of friendship this easily, and contrary to Fenris, Anders didn't force him to kill him. They've lost contact since, however. Hawke couldn't forgive him.

He died in my Inquisition playthrough to help Loghain and the Inquisitor get out of the Fade, and it broke my heart. And Varric's.

And Isabela's.

But mostly mine.

I even took a screenshot to whine to one of my friends about it

Amaya Lavellan

A confident young woman, proud of her heritage and the mission of her people to preserve as much of their history as they could, Amaya was never one to entirely reject Humanity but never really trusted them either. Which is, in fact, specifically the reason why she never completely rejected them: she prefers to not blind herself willingly of what humans are doing in the vicinity of her clan.

I purposefully made her less diplomatic than Armin and Hawke, especially in the beginning because she wanted nothing to do with the Inquisition. Once she became the official leader, however, she took her role seriously. But even though she'd been trained to become the next Keeper of her clan, she never felt completely comfortable in her role as the Inquisitor.

Part of that is simply that Amaya wanted nothing to do with anything related to the Maker and the Chantry. Being called the Herald of Andraste kept irking her until the end, though over time she became less vocal about her disliking of the title and more pragmatic about it. She even gave more space to the cult of Andraste in Skyhold, as she figured, with a little bit of Josephine's nudging, that one of the strongest common point between Orlais and Ferelden was a powerful tool to wield to unite both countries against Corypheus.

The other reason why she didn't feel comfortable in her role was simply that the Inquisition grew too big too quickly, and the fallout in Trespasser was honestly not a huge surprise to her (she opted to disband the Inquisition rather than risk corruption again).

But because she has impeccable taste in men, and a purposefully made a female elf to romance Solas, she hm... she couldn't pretend to be surprised that the Inquisition was crumbling onto itself but she was not prepared for him to be the main culprit.

She's still hoping she can make him change his mind.

I also used a mod to be able to romance several people. And she does have impeccable taste in men, so obviously she also romanced Blackwall. And dumped him after learning the truth, though she chose to let him truly become a Grey Warden instead of letting him die or making him lie. Again.

Fortunately, Cullen proved more reliable than her other partners. They eloped in Trespasser.

(She also became a Red Jenny. An excellent way to deal with her anger while still being useful to the people.

It took me a while to figure out while she kept Sera in the Inquisition, considering that Amaya didn't consider her really fit for the job even though she does see Sera as her friend, but eventually it became obvious to me that what made Sera so important was how she never let Amaya lose sight of her priorities. She kept her down-to-earth, and with the power Amaya had at her disposal, someone not afraid to tell her when she started to lost herself in politics was truly precious.)

I'm sorry this is so damn long, but I hope you enjoy learning about them! And thank you so much for the ask, @confusedtia!

[wylldebee]

Do you have a canon run through for Dragon Age? If you do, what is it?

(oh wow my first ever ask :D!) Yes! Yes I do! My canon world state mostly has the "Good" choices (as much as there can be in Dragon Age). Dragon Age: Origins (Warden: Valerie 'Val' Tabris, rogue; assassin+duelist): —Circle saved; Mages supported; Irving alive —Brokered peace between elves and werewolves —Branka killed; Anvil destroyed; Bhelen rules —Connor alive (not possessed); Isolde alive; urn not poisoned —Helped Alistair find Goldana (hardened him); killed Marjolaine (didn't harden Leliana); killed Master Ignacio —Hardened!Alistair and Anora rule together; Loghain was executed —Killed the Architect; both Keep and Amaranthine protected; Oghren and Felsi reunited —Didn't go with Morrigan —Sophia killed; Avernus continues his research ethically; drank the Power of Blood —Companions alive, well, and quests done; romanced Leliana

Dragon Age II (Champion: Arin 'Rin' Hawke, mage; Force Mage) —Joined the mercenaries —Returned Saemus to the Viscount; convinced Templars to leave; sent Feynriel to the Dalish; defended Ketojan from the Qunari; Aveline made guard captain; Carver is a Templar —Aveline and Donnic married; didn't side with Petrice; Bartrand not killed; Varric not allowed to keep Red Lyrium Shard; Isabela returns with the tome; didn't give Isabela to the Arishok; killed the Arishok —Let Zevran go; rescued Nathaniel; reunited Charade and Gamlin; handed conspirators to Orsino; allowed Emile to go free; sided with the mages —Sided with Larius; found Malcolm's will —All companions recruited and friend-manced; Merrill didn't destroy the Eluvian; Merrill's clan is alive; friends with Tabris; didn't kiss Tabris (but did flirt a little :3); didn't approve Ander's actions; killed Anders; romanced Isabela is all three acts. (Before anyone says anything; I have nothing against Anders and I have more playthroughs with him alive than I do dead. I'm all for Ander blowing up the Chantry. Is just Hawke mercy killing Anders because he would've been the number one target for Templars, and to also free Anders from Justice. Role-playing.) Dragon Age: Inquisition (Inquisitor Rhosyn 'Rho' Lavellan rogue; Tempest) —Captured the various keeps; Fairbanks not revealed as a noble; closed the lake's rifts; helped refugees; investigated the dwarven ruins; gained the cultists' support; Imshael killed; rescued the troops from the Avvar inner sanctum reached (<- f*ck this quest in particular) —Inquisition forces were regularly deployed; Sutherland's company was successful; contacted Charade; Jecin and Celeste married for love —Mages allied; declared the Inquisition for order; denied being chosen by Andraste; Samson my rival; saved everyone in Haven (<- frigging mission making me reload a thousand times to save everybody) —Celene alive; Celene rules and reconciled with Briala; Florianne alive —Grey Wardens rebuilt; Stroud left behind in the fade —Respected the temple's traditions; allied with guardians; Rhosyn drank from the well —Leliana made Divine —Met Ameridian; earned legend-mark from Avvar; dragon slain; shared the truth about Ameridian —Saved mines; stopped earthquakes —Bull remained loyal; preserved the Inquisition as a peacekeeping force; attempt to redeem Solas —Everybody recruited and friends with everybody; Blackwall made into a Grey Warden; Solas freed his friend; Cassandra rebuilt the Seekers; Dorian reconciled with his father; saved the Charger and Bull is Tal-Vashoth; Cole more human; gave Vivienne the heart; forced Hammon to work for the Inquisition; Varric tracked down the red lyrium source; romanced Cassandra (<- unfortunately as a male! Inquisitor but it's still part my canon world state) And that's that!

[greypetrel]

Welcome home kisses from the touches prompt list!

Hi Mo! ✨

Thank you for asking! This sent me in a flurry, I won’t lie. Meaning: I had three different ideas, half wrote two, and eventually decided with the angstiest one. Also because Alyra is one I write less so she needs more affection.

And nothing, some shenanigans post Fort Drakon, playing Denerim as a Mahariel is just… Nasty. If you’re romancing Alistair it’s the first place where you see the cracks. I hope you’ll enjoy! 😊

Tis the prompt list

The Only Possible Choice.

[ Dragon Age: Origins, post “Captured!”, Warden and Alistair runs on their own | Female Mahariel x Morrigan – hints of Female Mahariel x Alistair -go poly or go home | 3333 words ]

Kisses – 11. welcome home kisses

Did you ever feel your heart stopping? Did you ever feel like a moth drawn to a flame? It's time to put on your lifejacket 'Cause I'm about to step up the game, oh - Kamikaze, Susanne Sundfør

She was absolutely furious. Seething with rage and a thousand “I told you so”.

Because oh, she had told them it would have ended up like that. They just had to spent a night in Fort Drakon, lose most of their armours and weapons and tools and escape through the skin of their teeth. Better than she would have thought, which was a quick execution and their bodies thrown to the pigs to get rid of the evidence. She would have done it, but Loghain was apparently slower than she would have been. A meagre consolation.

Anora was a royal bitch, and she tricked them. Almost jeopardized not only that mission, but the fucking war. And Alistair had the guts of saying she should calm down, that they had to rescue her.

Had to.

For all Alyra cared, she could have rotten in a cell and freed them of another arrow in her father’s quiver.

For all her silver tongue, she didn’t know how to explain to the Landsmeet having escaped from Fort Drakon without looking like a savage who cared not for their laws and rules and could easily decide to jump over them.

And all around her people told her to stay calm and get to better counsels and speak with the Queen.

Creators, she would speak with the bitch to curse her thrice before killing her. Her father could watch.

What angered her the most was that Alistair took the side of the asshole he called uncle, in treating her like she was but an unruly child who understood badly the rules this world followed.

It didn’t cost him so much thought to leave command fully to the unruly child that didn’t know the rules. And he had the audacity to ask her not to be angry at him.

He had paid her very little attention in the last weeks since they arrived in Denerim, looked only at his uncle, shadowed him like a lost duckling who finally found his. He left her explore the city, investigate, move to gain them support all on her own, facing the Alienage and the merry band of slavers hidden between with just Zevran, Leliana and Morrigan at her side. Saving Anora had been the first task he didn’t invent excuses not to participate, and that was the one task Alyra didn’t want to pull through.

What was worse was that she was right. Dalish and all, not knowing the rules fully, but she had been right. Anora sold them both off to save her own filthy skin, and now they had to pay the consequences.

And Alistair told her to stay calm, that she had no reason getting angry, she would have done the same and she knew it. She was overreacting, and he defended his uncle against her.

His uncle who made him sleep with the dogs. His uncle who threw him away to the Templars when his new wife asked him to.

She told him things she didn’t want to tell him, and retreated in her room. Kicked Stan out of it, because she really didn’t want to put up with anyone, this evening.

She just wanted to take off the accursed boots and nasty clothes she donned, jump in a bath to scrub the prison and the feeling of wearing someone else’s dirty clothes, and retaliate redecorating the room with her knives. Those curtains were ugly.

She managed up to the bath, scrubbing herself raw with a piece of soap and a rag, until her skin reddened and felt sensible, cleaned and combed her hair carefully.

As she was still combing her hair with a finer comb and finally starting to relax minutely with the gesture, someone knocked on her door.

Alyra huffed and ignored it. She was dressed but in a robe, humans and Andrastians were bashful about being undress, and she just wanted to be left alone. It was almost a year since she had left the clan and started to solve other people’s problems, they could leave her an evening of quiet and sulking in peace.

Apparently, they really couldn’t.

Knock knock knock.

It grew more insisting. Alyra ignored it again, hopping on her feet and heading to the desk, as her fingers worked to braid red locks sprouting over her left ear.

Knock knock knock knock knock knock.

The mysterious pesterer sped the rhythm up, growing more frantical at each hit on the wood.

“Coming.” She groaned aloud, understanding that she wouldn’t have gotten rid of anyone there without being vocal about it.

Whatever anger she lost in the bathtub and doing her hair was instantly gained all over again. And with some extra at the idea that out there was Alistair, wishing to continue any further with the shitshow of blaming the other. Which was probably the last thing she wanted to do, right there and then. She clenched her hand on the handle and opened the door to the corridor abruptly, sneering at whomever was there.

“I hope it’s important.”

She hissed, before fully realizing who was on the other side exactly.

She met with Morrigan, hand still raised in gesture and looking at her with a weird expression on her face. One Alyra had never seen her sporting.

Considering she was alone, she didn’t want her there either: she tried, and tried and tried to flirt and get somewhere with her, but to no avail. If whatever they may have was friendship and companionship, she could accept it and gladly so… but not now.

Now, she stood there, looking at her like one would a mythological creature. A manticore ready to bite. She said nothing.

And because it was Morrigan, Alyra took a deep breath and spoke first.

“I am sorry. But if it’s not important, I am tired.”

“Tis important enough.” Morrigan answered, in that serious briskness that admitted just a yes.

Alyra moved to leave her space enough to enter her room. Closed the door all over again, knowing that whatever she wanted to tell her wasn’t something either of them would have liked to share with the first scullery maid that walked their way. She stayed on the door, leaving the other woman space. Not that she personally liked the space, not with her. But she knew cornering the other wouldn’t have led to good results, as it never did before save having her recoil on herself and get further away. Plus, it wasn’t the moment to stoke on whatever tension was going on between them. It really wasn’t the moment.

She leant on the door and started to absent-mindedly braid her hair and pretending she wasn’t aware of her guest pacing in the room with a frustrated gait.

“Why did you do it?” Morrigan asked, and she was angry about it, tho she tried to contain it.

“I did a lot of things, you need to be more specific.” She ended one little braid over her left ear and picked three locks from above the right one, getting back to work.

“You escaped from the prison without waiting for help. Do you realise how-”

“Yes, Morrigan, I do realize that was a risky endeavour that could have gotten us in even more troubles than what we already were in.” she interrupted her, letting irritation seep into her voice.

She didn’t want to take it out on her, she knew the other was just worried, but she had had the same argument with Eamon and she wasn’t keen in losing even more time discussing over something that couldn’t be changed.

“After careful considerations on my part, I realised that the only way to get out of that prison, seen the current political situation, was to escape from it. It worked, we’re both here, I already was made present it was a stupid move, as if asking Loghain to please release the Wardens he’s been hunting down for a year wasn’t even more stupid.” She explained, finishing the second braid and picking other three locks above the first. She used them to form a third braid, with another plain lock, and adding hair to each section at each crossing. “I already lost enough time over this argument, if that’s all you needed to tell me, Eamon beat you to it and I won’t listen to the same thing twice.”

They glared at each other for a minute, no one ready to lower their eyes first. Alyra stopped blinking, even, to show resolve. If that move was enough to destabilize most people, it wasn’t enough for Morrigan. It never had been, and the other just snorted at her as soon as she realize what she was doing, unimpressed. The witch stepped towards her, glaring more.

“You don’t understand. There’s more at stake than you think, you cannot do these things.”

“More at stake than I think?” Alyra hissed, letting the finished braid down with a vengeance. “Oh, you mean more than Ferelden falling into a full scale civil war, that will just be stopped by the fucking zombie invasion and rabid dragon we didn’t stop? You mean more than the Blight crawling across the Frostback and taking the world unprepared? More than that? I am sorry I didn’t consider it, in my humble and limited knowledge of the world. You was so less sheltered than I was.”

That hit her. That hit her low, and the worse thing was that Alyra knew it would have. She looked at her with fury, now, fire blazing from her golden eyes. She wanted to kiss her, bad. They got close in the argument. Too close, the witch was standing but a step in front of her, chest heaving as she got her breath back.

“You don’t understand.” Morrigan just told her.

“Help me, then.” Alyra prodded. “What am I missing?”

She shifted forward at that, not pressing directly into the other, not touching, but getting closer, and not leaving her eyes from hers.  She heard the mage catch her breath, saw her eyes fall down on her lips, on the cleavage that her robe let peek out.

Morrigan groaned, frustrated, and turned her back at her, stepping back into the room. As Alyra knew she would have had. It wasn’t surprising. It wasn’t exactly the first time she pulled a similar stunt, getting closer and waiting for the other to decide whether to step forward or back, waiting for consent. And every time it ended like that. She looked down, there and then, and stepped to the other side of the room, leaning over the desk and shuffling the papers on it. Notes, schemes and maps, summaries of books she had taken from the library in the estate, trying to get a quick grip on Fereldan politics and how a Landsmeet even worked without relying on Eamon or his idiot of a brother too much.

Going on with her evening as if Morrigan wasn’t there.

She had shared the room with her since they arrived, after all, it wasn’t anything strange. The difference was that they were both in a mood, right now, both too stubborn to step out of it.

Alyra considered asking her to please find another place to sleep, tonight. Or to go herself to crack in Leliana’s room. There was just a certain amount of rejection she could stomach, for a day, and she needed to get a grip on herself and set her life back on track. If with the mage currently pacing back and forth in front of the fireplace, hugging herself somewhat protectively, all that ever would be was a friendship, a too-close one at that, that was fine. But she needed at least one night of peace to set her mind to it.

In any case, she needed warmer clothes on. She huffed in disappointment, as another shiver ran down her spine, reminding her that she was underdressed for the weather and those large rooms were impossible to warm up properly.

Her notes got collected in one neat pile she tapped thrice on the desk, and left down on it, caring for the bottom to be parallel to the edge of the table. And then she moved, still ignoring her roommate. She could stare at the fire all she wanted, Alyra didn’t care. Maybe the fire knew what she was missing.

She made it to the dresser and to open a drawer, before Morrigan spoke again.

“There is one thing I cannot tell you.”

Every word fell out of her lips like a stone sinking in a clear pond, heavy and slow.

“You don’t trust me.” Alyra concluded. It stung, quite a lot.

“Tis not that.”

“What is it, then?” She picked up her clothes, choosing with a calm she didn’t feel. Honestly, she was tired and she just wished everyone would leave her alone.

She didn’t look at the other, walking to the screen to get changed. At least the floor was protected by carpets, so walking barefoot wasn’t that unpleasant. But she didn’t make it to the screen.

Morrigan caught her arm, and she reacted by instinct. She pulled her arm back and pivoted on it, to get free and away. As skilled as a mage that she was, physically she was no match: in a moment, Alyra was free and facing the other, and a safe three steps away, instinctively in a fighting stance with bent knees, ready to jump.

“I didn’t tell you because you wouldn’t have believed me, or you would have gone away, or sent me away. I couldn’t risk it at first. And then… Things got complicated.”

“Complicated.”

“Yes.” She frowned harder, cheeks taking some colour. “I… I will tell you. But not now.”

“Are you going to stab me in the back?”

“On the contrary. Not any more than you did escaping on your own.”

Alyra snorted again, not understanding what even was the point of that conversation. Why she couldn’t tell her… Whatever it was that she was keeping secret. She glared at her, rage renewed past disappointment and rejection.

“What do you want, Morrigan?” She straightened her back, and even if at full height she couldn’t reach her, she put all her dignity up. “I’m out of my patience, if you want to tell me I’m a traitor because I am here, you can go gossip about me with Wynne, Eamon and Alistair, finally there’s one thing you can all agree upon.”

She turned her back and went again to the screen, not hunching down, minding her steps to be as elegant and dignified as she can. Not let her think she hurt you. Never that.

But it served her nothing: her arm was grabbed again, more forcefully this time. When Alyra again tried to set herself free, tho, Morrigan was ready. As soon as she turned to face the other woman, her other arm was equally grabbed, and she was pushed back, taking advantage of the turning to set her out of balance and surprised.

Her back was on the stone of the wall in moments, and Morrigan was there, close as ever, glaring at her.

“Thou worried me. I fear they’ll come and get thee and thou’ll get justiced without a sentence, this time. That was such a stupid thing to do, and I believed thou were more intelligent than that.”

“That was the only possible choice.”

“We were organizing a rescue party. Leliana and I-”

“No.”

Mahariel snapped her hands forward at that. The very idea she was just proposed made her blood boil. Knowing that Morrigan of all people was acting on it… She closed her fingers on the witch’s arms and pushed, hooking an ankle behind hers to make her loose balance and have her way more easily. It was fairly easy, then, to turn their positions around and have Morrigan pressed upon the wall, with her pinning her in position. She stepped even forward, keeping her blocked by pressing her hips on hers. She glared at few centimetres from her face.

“I already let one person I loved die for my sake. I couldn’t save Tamlen, but I’ll be dead before I’ll let the same happen to you, you understand?” She snapped. “Not waiting for you to enter Fort Drakon to get me out was the only possible choice.”

She declared, and they were there. Chest to chest, breathing heavily. Morrigan smelled of smoke and firewood and pines. And her expression had grown harsher at her words. Alyra didn’t care. But Alyra, maybe, wasn’t as intelligent as she was considered. She shifted her head slightly forward towards the other’s, stopping a breath away from Morrigan’s lips. She wanted consent, and she wouldn’t move any further.

“Why don’t you ever kiss me?” Morrigan asked, turning crimson at the question but stubbornly refusing to shy away.

“You don’t kiss me either.” She pointed out, ghosting her lips over the other’s, encouraged by how she wasn’t trying to move away, this time. It would have hurt more when the mage would have eventually pulled away, but she didn’t care, right now. All she cared about was that she was there, her presence and her smell comforting, and she wanted that consent. So bad. “Why were you worried?”

“I-” The Witch swallowed, breath catching and chin lifting up, following the other for a moment. “-The idiot…”

“Alistair knows.” She told her. “I told him we wouldn’t have been exclusives from the start. And besides, he doesn’t want me, these days.”

It stung, but it stung a little less, right there and then, pressed snugly against Morrigan, her lips so, so close. She held on, but she was moments away from begging.

“He’s a fool.”

“Do you want me?” Alyra cut her short. Alistair was right now the last person she wanted to think about.

Well, one of the last ones.

But she observed Morrigan biting her lower lip, and it just made her want to kiss it better so, so bad. But no. Consent. The last distance was for the other to fill. She cajoled and manipulated her way through Ferelden, but she would never do the same in a bedroom. Particularly with Morrigan, who had been her friend and the one that didn’t mind the cajoling and manipulations and daggers. She was pinning her in place, but not trapping her. Never that. She felt trapped for most of her life to know what it felt like.

“I wanted to welcome you home.” Morrigan admitted, finally, as it was a challenge.

“I’m right here.” Alyra challenged her back, taking her for measure. As she did for the start. As they both did with the other from the very beginning.

Morrigan huffed from her nose, in frustration, and surged forward, pressing her lips on hers.

Alyra would have whined, had she less self-control than she had. Months and months of waiting, and finally that was it.

She kissed her back, pushing her head against the wall and titling her own for a better reach. She tasted like smoke and like the woods and her hands were clumsy on her face. She raised hers to cup the others and redirect them on her cheeks, placing her better. For all her sharp tongue, it was clear she wasn’t that experienced, if any at all.

After a while, they both parted to gasp for air, breathing heavily, some of the frustration and anger disappeared. She never looked so good, Alyra thought, and wonder how much better could she exactly looked if she just could manage to kiss her longer harder, until her lips grew red and swollen, how much more her hair would get ruffled with enough fingers through it.

“Welcome home.”

Morrigan said, and Alyra took another kiss in all answer.

A whine escaped Morrigan’s lips as she gently bit her lower lip, hands slipping on the small of her back to press her flush against her, and that was how she knew that she won the hunt.

[scribbledquillz]

Dragon Age: Origins OC as PC - soundset and banter edition

Thanks to @wild-houseplant for putting this meme on my dash - I love banter memes for my OCs. :D

I'm not sure who has and hasn't done this yet, so I'll just leave it at whoever wants in, do the thing and say I tagged you. Better yet, @ me so I can see your answers!

Warden’s name: Revka Tabris

Voice option: Curt, clear, and lower pitched than expected with a thick Ferelden accent. Listed in the voice options menu as "Blunt".

Soundset

Select PC: "Ready." / "Let's get on with it." / "Shall we?" / "Excellent."

Bonus options -

High approval: "I'm with you." / "I've got your back."

Low approval: *irritated* "Again?" / "If we must."

Unselect PC: "Really?" / "Sod it." / "Maker's ass." / "Alright."

Bonus options -

High approval: "Be careful." / "Are you sure?"

Low approval: "Make up your blighted mind." / "*disgruntled sigh*"

Combat attack: "You're going to regret this!" / "Didn't think this one through, did you?" / "The big one is mine!" / "*sigh* By the Void, it never ends." / "Hit them where it hurts!"

Mana/stamina low: "Come on, Tabris, keep it together!" / "Getting tired of this shit!" / "The Void do they keep coming from?!" / "This isn't going to end well." / "*angry, violent yell*"

Heal me: "Alright, that one hurt." / "Won't last long like this!" / "Nothing a salve won't fix." / "That's going to leave a scar." / "I'm fine, keep fighting!"

Near death: "This *gasp* isn't good." / "Shit shit shit blighted bloody SHIT!" / "Andraste give me strength..." / "I'll take this bastard with me!"

Bonus options - if Broken Circle is completed / the party has met her brother: "Tell Ceral *pained noise* I'm sorry." / "Mam... Da... I'll be with you soon."

Enemies sighted: "Eyes up, marks ahead." / "Give me a moment, I'll slip behind them." / "Lovely. More idiots to knock sense into." / "Here I thought we'd seen the last of them." / "Sod off already!"

Dragon sighted: "Holy Maker... it's huge!" / "Right. 'Spose we know which way not to go." / "Thought they were supposed to be gone. How in the Void does something that massive hide?" / "...We can turn back any time, you know."

Bonus options - if Warden instigates fight: "Are you MAD?!" / "We're dead. We're bloody dead." / "I ever tell you you're an ass? Because you are."

Spell/attack failed: "Damn it!" / "Shit, that wasn't right." / "Oh, you lucky son of a..." / "Sit still, would you!"

Fight over, enemies killed: "Everyone still breathing?" / "*grunt* What a waste." / "Hardly broke a sweat." / "Check their pockets. Won't need their coin any longer." / "Could've turned out worse, I 'spose." / "One of these days we'll go somewhere folk don't want us dead."

Companion KO’d: “[Alistair] "Alistair! Shield, damn you!" / "Hold on, Alistair, we're here!" [Dog] *to the one who fell Titan* "Blighted coward! You'll pay for that!" / "Titan! No!" [Leliana] "Someone help Leliana!" [Morrigan] "She's going to be furious when she gets up." [Oghren] "Damn it, Oghren is down!" [Shale] "Oh. Shit. How'd they manage to do that?!" [Sten] "Cover the Qunari!" / "Sten! The Qun demands you get your ass up!" [The Warden] "Hold on! I'm coming!" / "Oh no you don't - you're not allowed to die yet!" / *If in a romance with Revka* "No! Not you!" or "*Name*, don't you dare die on me!" [Wynne] "Shit! Mage down!" / "Wynne needs help!" / *if the truth of her condition is revealed* "Haven't you had enough of dying?" [Zevran] "Zev, if you're faking I swear to the Maker..." / "Zevran doesn't look so good!" / *If in a romance with Revka* "Maker, no! Zevran!" / *to the one who fell him* "I'll kill you!"

Trap sighted: "Watch your feet, trap ahead." / "Trap. Cowards couldn't be bothered to face us themselves."

Bonus option - if Warden triggers trap after being warned about it: "...Really?" / "Are you bloody deaf or just stupid?"

Open chest: "Let me have a go." / "Don't ask why I know how to do this, and I won't ask what you do with what's inside." / "Should have something worth a few coins in here."

Cannot do the thing: "Not happening." / "Shit." / "Right. Plan B?" / "Want me to powder your ass as well?"

[ollifree]

THANK GOD YOU REPOSTED I HAVE HAD TERRON MY SPIFFY FELLER ON MY MIND LIKE YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE (and also Great Uncle because for some reason they always appear together in my head). SO if I may I would like to ask 5 and 8 and maybe 7 for Caedan Amell (also my spiffy feller) if I can really be greedy 8) 8) 8)

hope you're having a lush as hell day my olli friend!!

ladkfjakfjkdjfk my friend my beloved you absolute peach you always know just which ocs to ask about uwu you can be as greedy as you want mwuah mwuah mwuah

5. letters between two of your OC’s companions about them

Excerpts from correspondence between Queen Lani Theirin-Cousland and Zevran Arainai. Both passages have been translated from the original Antivan. (featuring surprise guest @atypicalacademic's Chancellor of Ferelden, Sahi Tabris)

"...although we are able to twist their arms by reminding them who killed the archdemon. Half the time the alienage needs any kind of resource I have to say 'give me a non-racist reason' out loud to get them to shut up long enough we can push it through. I'd give Sahi access to the treasury every time it happens but we'd be cleaned out within a week."

"We could always pay you a visit in court. I am sure seeing their hero so angry on behalf of our fellow elves would chide most of them into silence. If not, you are aware my services are always available to you. I'll even throw in a discount!"

8. your OC’s doctor/healer talking about their injuries

An unsigned note with handwriting that matches Kinloch Hold's Senior Enchanter Wynne's. The note has been found shoved hastily in a desk drawer and seems to have been written without intention of sharing.

"I cannot say I've ever expected to pen these words, but thank the Maker Caedan's been proven right. Two long days and Terron's finally awake. Why the other wardens seemed so certain he would perish of his wounds is beyond me. Regardless, it is good to see them all smile again. As to the wounds themselves: Several broken ribs, as I feared. Terron is adamant we not use magic to heal them just yet. There are enough near death that need our attention more. Such a considerate young man. What would we do without him? Another skull fracture, which has already been mended. Hopefully with the blight well and truly at rest his propensity for slamming his head on every surface will cease as well. Cuts and bruising, as can be expected. No infections. He claims not to have dislocated anything. He's popped that shoulder back into place on his own so often I've no choice to consider it a lie until proven otherwise."

7. someone describing a time your OC hurt them

A journal entry from Alice Amell during her time at Skyhold.

"It was him. The little brother they stole from us then took from me. As unbearable - as abusive as the Gallows were, I'm sure we could have survived them together. You heard stories in the city, and Mama looked like she might break when I froze my wine at dinner, but I would see our little brother again. But when the templars came for me, they had already sent him across the sea. I hoped he might be at Skyhold. That the revolution would reunite us at last. I heard about what he did. His name was whispered between pages at lessons and over plates at meals. A veteran of a blight, and here I thought myself impressive for surviving Meredith. The boy following Lady Morrigan around - Kieran - he has our look. His skin and eyes are Chasind, but his cheeks and jaw and the way he stands are Amell. I asked Senior Enchanter Surana after I saw her speaking with him. I should have known from how she hedged her answers how this would go. He came back to me. Our lost brother. Everyone through history will point to the scar in the sky as a miracle, as though Caedan walking into Skyhold couldn't have brought our entire family to their knees. But when I finally approached him, when I told him who I was - I can't forget what his face did. I can't describe it. Walling himself off, from me. He'd grown so much, even taller than Father I think. Did I misremember his eyes? I always thought of them as grey. He was so cold. And his words. I can't - He didn't say as much, but it felt like staring up at a viper. Like if I did anything but turn and leave he'd kill me."

[gaming-thoughts-by-an-idiot]

Dragon age origins: Human Warrior

"I've never had this many evil choices during dialog... being human is terrible"

[Return to ostagar DLC]

"I was thinking 'why haven't I played this last time' and then I remembered this is a dlc"

"I hate that I cant log online on origins"

"Stop showing me flashbacks to the battle, I was there ish"

"I wish we could've found Duncan, and burned him too :( "

"What the fuck do you mean you 'disagree', Morrigan? Da heck is wrong with you"

"Omg the deserter prisoner is still in his cage"

[DLC done]

"Why was there just a drake wandering out here?"

"Oh my god, stopped again? Ugh"

"Yeeesss bleed out"

"Does all these spider webs remind me of the hobbit or Harry Potter? Both? Both."

"Killed the werewolves, got a random thing for a dalish woman put hunting for random werewolves... alright then"

"I want to tattoo the Grand Oak on me, with the stupid rhyming tree joke"

"I love him so much, ugh"

"I read a letter to the king from Arl Eamon, and he said that Anora was like 30 and getting too old for having kids, and that he should find a new wife to have kids with like- yooo wtf"

"Having Shale and Sten in the same party is so weird"

"dWARVEN CRAFT- buy dwARVEN CRAFT- direct from Orzammar... you wont find better"

"Meeting Alistair's sister, let's goo"

"Save first, always save first"

"Fun fact, his mom is actually an elf, was a warden, got cured, and then we meet her in Inquisition"

"UM?? ALISTAIR IS JUST LIKE, HES GONNA ASK ME SOMETHING WHAT"

"NERVOUS???? SIR WHAT??? AAAAA, YOOO IM MAKING HIM LIKE, UNABLE TO EXIST CUZ IM SO PRETTY OMG"

"Oh wow, the options are so good:

1. Oh? Thanks a lot.

2. Pull yourself together, will you?

3. That's very sweet.

4 I feel the same way

Like??? What's up with these replies??? Being human SUCKS"

"Nr 4"

"I'm such a catch- AAA HE LOVES ME SO MUCH, IM DYING"

"-but you're gonna be king :( - she says, as if that's not the end goal"

"I DO NOT WANT TO BREAK UP, BABY NO-"

"Saving saving saving, and then talk to him again"

"I've played 34 hours, damn"

"I named my human warrior for Anna, cuz it sounds like a royal name"

"??? ANOTHER SERIOUS CONVO??? SIR-"

"A HAJAHXGAKNAJAJAJSHSHAHHAHAKSKAKALA????? I FUCK I HI AHDBAKAHAHDKAB OKAY OKAY OKAY SIR ALRIGHTY MAN ALRIGHT HEY SO HM"

"Okay, okay, I'm calming downnnnnnnnnnn... okay phew ok, so, I was like '??excuse I am just a friend' but then the fucker dropped 'and I... love you' BITCH, SIR, MY HEARRRTTT"

"HE WENT FROM "your wish is my command" TYPE OF GREETING, AND NOW??? WE ARE FUCKING GOOD, HE JUST SAID 'SOMETHING YOU NEED, MY DEAR' HE CALLED ME DEAR, BITCH ITS LIKE WE'RE MARRIED AAAA LOVE THISSS"

"Kissing him<3"

"I'm not saying I don't love Zevran, but like 🥺"

"Saving saving, in case I say something bad"

Anna: Where do u see this going between us?

Alistair: Idk, but maybe if I'm king? Maybe we have to stop :( but I dont wanna think about it

Anna: I'll never let u go, bitch

Alistair: I sure fucking hope not

"More or less what happened"

"Let's go to bed, bby"

"Sten gets all of Cailan's armour"

Anna: its either YOU or ME, and it isnt gonna be me!

*whenever we approach danger*

Anna: my warden senses are tingling

"Being human is so weird"

"Remember to pickpocket your targets before killing them, that's how you get coin"

"Omg, I stabbed him in the throat, it went through, whoa"

"I asked Sten to knock someone out and he started to evil laugh, wtff"

Anna, fighting a thug: is it just me, or do you really think you have a chance?

"Damn, who is she"

"I accept all jobs, I dont care who or what I do, give me money"

"Wait, I'm of high ups blood, I should behave..... moneiiii"

"I just threatened the dude who stole Sten's sword, basically just 'break his bones' like damn"

"Doing the mage quest last"

[fademirrored]

beta timeline world state

Note: I’ve listed how they got along with the companions purely to give an idea of what they’re like. I won’t force any relationships on you.

DRAGON AGE: ORIGINS

Hero:

Darrick Tabris

Alive and well

Rogue; ranger, duelist, shadow

Companions:

Recruited Dog (named him Clegane)

Persuaded Revered Mother to free Sten

All companions recruited

All companion quests finished

All companions alive and well

Acquired the Grimoire peacefully

Loghain executed by Warden

Warden made a baby with Morrigan

Alistair became king, married to Anora

(Note: I romanced Zevran and was totally BFFs with Alistair, but I won’t force that on you)

Broken Circle:

Mages supported

First Enchanter Irving survived

The Urn of Sacred Ashes:

Not poisoned

The Arl of Redcliffe:

Helped Redcliffe fight

Helped Redcliffe prepare

Freed Bevin, took sword

Helped Owen’s daughter escape

Connor alive, not possessed

Asked Circle for help, Isolde is alive

Nature of the Beast:

Brokered peace

Decided ‘I don’t have time for this’ with Cammen and Gheyna

Saved the halla

Told Athras about his wife

Brought back ironbark

Paragon of Her Kind:

Defeated Branka

Harrowmont rules Orzammar

Dagna left to study

Mercy killed Ruck, told Filda he was a hero

Helped Zerlinda reconcile with family

Helped Orta join Assembly

Denerim:

Told Bann Sighard about Oswyn, got his support

Gave Alfstanna Irminric’s ring, got her support

Brought scroll to Sister Justine

Cleared out the Pearl

Returned amulet to beggar

Helped Alistair find Goldanna

Killed Marjolaine

The Landsmeet:

Said that Loghain could be a Warden; poisoned the Joining Chalice while Riordan wasn’t looking

Alistair and Anora rule together

The Battle of Denerim:

Darrick killed the Archdemon

Awakening:

Allowed the Architect to live

Keep and Amaranthine protected; Keep fully fortified

Nathaniel alive and well (recruited the second time around)

Gave Nathaniel the Howe Bow

Looked for Anders’s phylactery

Oghren and Felsi reunited

Witch Hunt:

Didn’t go through the eluvian with Morrigan

Warden’s Keep:

Said ‘no’ to all suspicious concoctions

Slayed Sophia and allowed Avernus to conduct ethical research

Stone Prisoner:

Matthias and Amalia alive, unpossessed

DRAGON AGE II

Hero:

Rigel Hawke

65 % purple, 32 % blue/green, 3 % red (roughly)

Rogue; shadow

Companions:

Carver died fleeing Lothering

Bethany became a Grey Warden

Bethany survived final battle

Friends with Varric

Bartrand still alive

Helped Varric discover cause of haunting

Varric did not keep the red lyrium idol

Recruited Isabela

Isabela did not return

Didn’t give Isabela to Arishok

Fenris alive and well

Merrill stayed loyal

Merrill did not destroy eluvian

Clan was not killed

Merrill is alive and well

Didn’t APPROVE of Anders’s explosion, but didn’t kill him or make him leave

Aveline married Donnic

Aveline stayed loyal

Recruited Sebastian

(Note: Romanced Fenris and was BFFs with Varric, Aveline, and Anders, but I won’t force that on you)

Prologue:

Joined smugglers

Act 1:

Turned mages over to templars

Fenris killed Kelder

Brought Saemus back home

Ginnis died

Killed Danzig

Didn’t blackmail Thrask

Idunna killed

Solved mystery of missing miners

Sent Feynriel to the Dalish

Recommended Keran not be a templar

Defended Ketojan from the Qunari

Didn’t kill Karras

Act 2:

Javaris alive and well

Discovered looter of Hubert’s caravans

Killed Gascard

Feynriel freed and left for Tevinter

Didn’t side with Petrice

Didn’t side with Varnell against Qunari

Killed Arishok

Act 3:

Rescued Nathaniel

Killed dragon at Bone Pit (bastard had my armor)

Allowed Emile to go free

Offered to help Nuncio

Let Zevran go

Reunited Charade and Gamlen

Handed conspirators to Orsino

Gave Keran to the templars

Sided with mages

Legacy:

Sided with Larius

Found Malcolm’s will

DRAGON AGE: INQUISITION

Companions:

-Dorian didn’t reconcile with father -Friends with Dorian -Dorian stayed with Inquisition -Iron Bull recruited -Iron Bull saved Chargers -Iron Bull is Tal-Vashoth -Blackwall recruited -Blackwall left prison as Grey Warden -Friends with Blackwall -Cassandra discovered book of secrets -Cassandra rebuilt Seekers -Friends with Cassandra -Cole recruited and stayed -Cole more like a spirit -Friends with Cole -Sera recruited and stayed -Sera killed Harmond at Inquisitor’s urging -Friends with Sera -Solas freed his friend -Friends with Solas -Varric tracked the red lyrium source -Friends with Varric -Vivienne recruited -Gave Vivienne a Snowy Wyvern heart -Friends with Vivienne

Exploring Thedas:

Did not reach the inner sanctum

Helped refugees

Gained cultists’ allegiance

Investigated the dwarven ruins

Rescued troops from the Avvar

Fairbanks not revealed as noble

Fairbanks defeated the Freeman

Captured Caer Bronach

Closed the lake’s rift

Claimed Griffon Wing Keep

Imshael killed

Captured Suledin Keep

Operations:

Inquisition forces deployed regularly

Sutherland’s company was formed

Jecin and Celeste never met

Inquisitor contacted Charade

Advisors:

Calpernia was the Inquisitor’s nemesis

Told Cullen not to use lyrium

Did favors for Du Paraquettes

Leliana inspired

Investigated Calpernia’s past

Talked with Calpernia

The Wrath of Heaven:

Inquisitor does not accept being chosen by Andraste

Champions of the Just:

Went to Therinfal Redoubt, templars allied

Ser Barris is alive

In Your Heart Shall Burn:

Inquisition is declared for order

Here Lies the Abyss:

Grey Wardens rebuilt

Stroud and Loghain sacrificed rather than Hawke, but Hawke sacrificed rather than Alistair. Just to cover all the bases.

Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts:

Gaspard rules as Briala’s puppet

Grand Duchess Florianne killed (“I also judge the box! End table for orphans!”)

Empress Celene died

What Pride Had Wrought:

Disrespected temple traditions, accidentally made enemies of the guardians

Morrigan drank from the Well of Sorrows

Doom Upon All the World:

Supported Leliana as Divine

Judgments At Skyhold:

Equal parts merciful and recruiting judging

The Descent:

Saved mines, stopped earthquakes

Decided he’d be happy never going to the Deep Roads again

Trespasser:

Bull remained loyal

Disbanded the Inquisition

Attempt to redeem Solas

[sirensfeast]

Again, OC banter/soundset meme by @wild-houseplant​ 

Voice option: Just imagine the mystical male elf voice in Origins. 

Soundset

Select PC: "What?” “Okay?” “What now?” “I’m here.”

Combat attack: “Idiots.” “Cone of Cold, bitch.” “Oooh, look at me, I’m a big, scary warrior with a big, scary sword!” [If a Templar enemy] “Try to Smite THIS, you bastard!” 

Mana/stamina low: “Shit... magic getting low...” “Yeah, so, I’ve got maybe one tiny, little Winter’s Grasp left in me.” “Give me a freaking lyrium potions unless you want your mage to be squishier than normal!”

Heal me: “Don’t mind the mage, he’s just DYING.” “Hello? Help me?” “Yeah, my blood is supposed to be IN my body.”

Near death: “Guess I’ll die.” “Say good-bye to your healer.” “HELP ALREADY!” 

Enemies sighted: “Oh for fuck’s sake.” “How many are there?” “Must I really put my book down for this?” “Maker’s breath.”

Dragon sighted: “Yeah, no.” “If you try to fight that thing, I’m not healing you. I don’t heal morons.” “Don’t even think about it.” “Hey, you know what’s really fun? Going around the giant, man-eating dragon.”

Spell/attack failed: “Well, shit.” “Oh, come on, you had to feel that one!” “Wha- how does a blizzard NOT affect you?!” “Andraste’s flaming tits!”

Fight over, enemies killed: “See, if you’d left us alone, you wouldn’t be an icicle.” “Is it just me, or are our enemies growing stupider?” “Ha ha. Morons.” “Too bad they don’t have such an excellent healer as me.”

Companion KO’d: [Alistair] “Shit! That looks bad!” [Leliana] “Hold on, Leli! I’m coming!” [Morrigan] “Morrigan! No!” [Sten] “Fiine, I’ll heal him.” [Oghren] “For fuck’s- Oghren’s down, everyone!” [Zevran] “Hold on, Zev! I’m coming!” [Wynne] “Wynne! Hold on!” [Shale] “How did they even-?!”

Trap sighted: “Look, I’m obviously no rogue, but even I can tell that super obvious wire is a trap.” “Yeah, sure, this random spikey thing in the middle of the path is totally not a trap.”

Open chest: “Uh, hello? Mage? Healer mage? What do you think I’m gonna do, magic it open? Ha! No.”

Cannot do the thing: “Yeah, no.” “Still not gonna.”

Banter:

Alistair “I’ve always wondered. Why do mages wear robes?

Mirage: “We wear them so we can easily hike them up and run faster as we flee from Templars that are trying to skewer us.

Alistair: “Er...”

Mirage: “I’m lying. We wear them so we can tear them off easily for the orgies.”

Zevran: [delighted] “Ah-ha! I knew it!”

Wynne: [wearily] “Mirage, please.”

Alistair: “Riiight. Forget I asked.” 

Leliana: “Have you ever thought about doing something with your hair, Mirage?”

Mirage: “Huh? What’s wrong with my hair?”

Leliana: “Nothing at all! It’s so long and beautiful, that it is a shame to never experiment with it.”

Mirage: “Well, the Templars did try to make me get a hair cut once. They stopped after I froze the first five that tried.”

Leliana: “Oh, I would never dream of cutting your hair! Perhaps I could braid it for you? I think it would look lovely as a plait.” 

Mirage: “Eh, sure, why not. I trust you.”

Leliana: [happily] “Wonderful!” 

Wynne: “You are a talented healer, Mirage...”

Mirage: “I’m sensing a but...”

Wynne: “But you have a terrible habit of allowing your emotions to interfere with your healing.”

Mirage: [annoyed] “Is this because I refused to heal Cullen? He was fine! Well enough to try to convince Greagoir to slaughter us all, in case you forgot!”

Wynne: [sternly] “There was no cause to refuse to help him because of your personal dislike.”

Mirage: “Yeah? Well, maybe next time he shouldn’t threaten to stab a bunch of mages because one might be a blood mage!”

Wynne: [sighs] “Honestly.” 

Mirage: “Bitches don’t get stiches.” 

Zevran: “Has anyone ever told you your eyes are a lovely shade of blue, my friend?”

Mirage: “No, not really.”

Zevran: “No? Such a shame. They are truly the stuff of songs.”

Mirage: “Why are you suddenly so fascinated with my eyes?”

Zevran: "It would be a crime not to appreciate such beauty, my friend. Surely a handsome man such as yourself has noticed you posses many fine features!”

Mirage: [coughs] “W-well, I can’t say I do...”

Zevran: “What say we retreat for your tent tonight, and I show you?”

Mirage: [sputtering] “A-are you implying what I think-?”

Zevran: “I could be, if you wish, of course. It is up to you, my friend.”

[kantrips]

Alistair & Celia Headcanon Collection

Some Amell x Alistair (largely fluff) headcanons! Includes some from Origins, Warden time at Amaranthine and the Inquisition-era. Some of these I have had since my first playthrough, but others I may have read elsewhere, loved and thusly absorbed so please let me know if I can link anyone!

Origins

The first time they meet at Ostagar, Celia thinks Alistair is the most fascinating person she has ever encountered because no one in the Circle had a particularly boisterous sense of humour. Alistair is oblivious to her heart eyes, and also holds back because he’s worried she won’t survive the Joining.

Even after the Joining, Alistair tries very hard not to ~feel feelings~ despite the clear signals Celia is hurling at him because he assumes she won’t like him once she gets to know him more/she will get bored of him/ she will leave like everyone else i.e. the boy is hecking damaged.

Celia laughs obnoxiously hard at all Alistair’s jokes because a) she finds them unexpected, and b) because, like a dork, she wants to prove she gets the punch line. Alistair is perplexed by her reactions at first, and cautiously wonders if she is mocking him. Once he realises she is genuinely amused, it bolsters his ego significantly. 

Celia has no concept of personal space and sits and walks very close to everyone. There wasn’t a lot of room at the Circle so she forgets she can spread out. Morrigan makes it clear she needs to back off (Celia doesn’t need telling twice) but Alistair is more relaxed and gets used to it quickly after the confusion of the first night when she blithely sets up her bedroll right next to his. Alistair assumes she is a bit scared of sleeping in the forest but really she is just accustomed to the need to cram as many apprentice bunks into a room as possible.

In a way, Alistair is also used to sharing small spaces (Chantry and Wardens) so it doesn’t bother him at all when Celia chooses to sit pressed against his side, walks so their arms bump together, or unconsciously brushes an eyelash from his cheek. He quickly grows to like her overfamiliarity (for some reason…).

Similarly, Alistair eats Celia’s leftover food if she can’t finish it or doesn’t like it, even before they’re a couple. She just offers one day and after that it becomes a given. The others side-eye them but they are happily oblivious.   

Celia gets in trouble from the rest of the party for getting distracted yelling encouragement and cheering Alistair during combat. In turn, Alistair gets in trouble for turning around mid-battle to thank her when she buffs or heals him. Morrigan advises that if they are both so determined to get killed, she is more than happy to assist with hastening the process.

Celia’s mabari, Trevor, is quickly accepting of Alistair and his proximity to Celia because he observes Alistair protecting Celia in battle and thusly deems him to be a ‘good dog’ and considers that they are equals in the pack.

Alistair and Celia vandalise each other’s wanted posters whenever they come across them. It gets competitive.

Celia doesn’t really want to be in charge of saving the world but has three things working in her favour: 1) she absolutely hates letting people down 2) has an intense need to finish what she starts 3) she is in possession of a bossy streak.

That said she spends the entire Blight screaming internally to an extent not even Alistair fully grasps.

They go to the Circle Tower first, because Celia thinks she will have the best chance of getting help from people she knows and is also ‘homesick’ in the sense that she is very glad to be free of the place, but stressed enough with everything going on to crave something familiar even if she resents it. The events there devastate her. Along with the loss of friends and mentors she has known since childhood, being trapped by herself in the fade particularly terrifies her as she has never truly been alone for so long before in her life. It reminds her of the Harowing which totally blindsided her. She is very teary, untalkative and introspective for some time afterwards, but both Trevor and Alistair have the correct instinct to stay close without trying to interact with her which she finds incredibly comforting.

Accustomed to making potions, Celia will not under any circumstances deviate from a recipe while cooking, whereas Alistair just chucks everything in to use up leftovers and see what happens. Alistair gets meals together super quickly whereas Celia takes forever. A little unfairly, Celia is perceived as the better cook because she produces very consistent meals, while Alistair’s experiments sometimes do work, and sometimes don’t, with people tending to focus on the disasters rather than the successes. Meanwhile Celia is rather: “should I add half a sprig of rosemary? No I mustn’t: it would be far too daring!” so everyone learns to tip their own seasonings into their bowl before even tasting her food.

When they’re travelling and walking for days on end, Alistair and Celia make up a lot of games in the vein of ‘I spy’ and ‘would you rather?’ They can occasionally persuade others to participate though no one enjoys them or gets quite as invested as Celia and Alistair (who are actual children).

A game stops abruptly one day when Celia guilelessly asks if Alistair would rather be Emperor of Orlais or King of Fereldan and he gets extremely defensive and answers, “Neither.” Having no context for this reaction (yet), Celia (a stickler for the rules) pushes him, insisting his answer isn’t allowed and that he’s cheating until Alistair gets grouchy, stomps off and refuses to play anything for days. 

Celia figures he must be overtired, but his unhappy reaction does come back to her later at the Landsmeet and contributes to her already firm resolve not to put him on the throne.

When bored, Alistair also periodically asks Celia to, “Do a trick!” with her magic and she usually obliges with something small and silly which Wynne always scolds them for (but they continue to do anyway).

Celia does not like Eamon one bit and makes it clear from their first meeting. Alistair actually gets a bit annoyed at her because she is polite to 99% of the other people they meet and he can’t understand what her problem is. Celia won’t say because she doesn’t want to drive Alistair away so she remains coldly civil towards Eamon and commences a long, looong process of nudging Alistair towards having the realisation himself that a) Eamon is manipulative, selfish and cruel and b) Alistair deserves better.

Celia wants to collect some of the books they find which is not practical given they are constantly travelling, but Alistair carries as many as he can in his pack and suffers in silence for it, ultimately finding it worth it for her enthusiastic gratitude.

Celia cuts Alistair’s hair and does a very respectable job after weeks of him complaining it’s flopping in his eyes (they used to cut each other’s hair in the Circle). Zevran pretends she did an awful job, gasping in horror at Alistair’s appearance, much to Celia’s ire. Alistair (internally weeping) tries to be brave until he can check his reflection in some plate mail and see it is fine.

Celia is very naïve about how the ‘real world’ works having been at the Circle since she was a child. This is especially evident in Denerim and Alistair has to explain how money works and grab her before she wanders down dicey looking alleyways.

Alistair nearly dissolves into a paroxysm of agony when he points out his favourite type of cheese at the Denerim Markets and (accustomed to the very limited range of bland foods provided at the Circle) Celia innocently asks, “There is more than one type of cheese?” Alistair makes it his mission to educate her. She doesn’t like most of what he feeds her but doesn’t say so to protect his feelings given he seems to take the matter so incredibly personally.

Leliana convinces Celia to sing one evening at the campfire. She’s breathy with a very limited range but manages okay, and Leliana plays and harmonises in support. Watching on with a goofy smile plastered over his face, Alistair comments to the surrounding companions about how talented she is and they’re like “…she’s really not mate.”

When they both wake up from a blightmare (or Celia has one and wakes Alistair with her flailing) they sneak about and eat anything they can find then sit up and have massive deep & meaningfuls (i.e. in the spirit of going for a long drive with a friend or being in the garden with someone outside a party and spilling your guts). Eventually they start blaming the depleted food stores on Leliana’s nug, Schmooples, much to Leliana’s displeasure.

Given Celia usually responds so well to his jokes, Alistair gets a bit peeved when Celia starts replying to some of his more severely self-deprecating humour with an unamused, “No you’re not,” or, “That’s not true.” He defensively argues it’s just a joke, but he does stop doing it so much as time goes on.

Celia is SO excited when Alistair gives her the rose. She never in her life thought she would be the recipient of a proper ~romantic gesture~…however she accidentally sits on the rose about five minutes after she gets it. Celia is devastated. There is a lot of panic and tears and she keeps one petal pressed in a book but has to unceremoniously ditch the rest in secret.

Celia doesn’t tell Alistair about this until years later and she’s terrified he’ll be hurt but he just laughs because he was so worried he was going to be the one to squash it and then she destroyed it basically the minute she got it. Alistair acknowledges it was an impractical gift given their situation. Celia gets mad and says it was a PERFECT gift and is annoyed at how funny he finds it given this has been a crushing, guilty secret hanging over her for years.

Following this, every time Alistair gives her any kind of gift, he can’t help but throw in a ‘Don’t sit on it!” and cracks himself up, especially when Celia gets grumpy about it and accuses him of spoiling the moment. It happens so often that when Alistair chooses a horse for her and plans to teach her to ride, Celia manages to cut him off with, “Yes, I know Alistair: I can sit on this one,” and steals his thunder.

Alistair periodically says Celia’s name just to check if she’ll answer, especially after a long period of quiet or to see if she’s awake à la screaming in the chantry because it’s so silent. When she responds he says, “Nothing” or “Never mind” but he finds it vaguely comforting just to hear her reply and it’s a habit he never loses, even when they have been together for years and he is much less isolated generally. Alistair doesn’t realise he’s doing it, and it never happens frequently enough for Celia to notice: she just assumes he has lost his train of thought.

They sometimes conspire to purposely fall to the back of the group while on the road so that they can hold hands. Everyone knows full well what they are doing, but Alistair and Celia think they are being incredibly ~sneaky~.

The first time they sleep together they laugh. A lot. Before, during and after.

Alistair snores loudly but only when he’s on his back. Celia is used to the noise of people sleeping around her at the Circle so it doesn’t bother her and she doesn’t want to disturb him because she knows he needs the rest.

When they are known to be sharing a tent however, their companions will slap on the walls of it and demand she kick him until he stops snoring. Celia will relent and gently prod and nudge Alistair until he rolls over with a bit of sleepy grumbling.

I think everyone has this headcanon to the point it is basically actual canon HOWEVER I am legally obligated to include it: Alistair is a professional body heat distributor and Celia drastically cuts down on the number of blankets she uses once they are sleeping together. If she stands in front of him on cold days, he understands the non-verbal signal and will automatically wrap her in his cloak.

Also might as well be canon: Alistair likes to be the little spoon. He doesn’t say, but Celia knows.

Decidedly not a fluff one (you can skip to Amaranthine to avoid) but the ritual with Morrigan fairly significantly messes Alistair up (both the act itself and his consideration of the repercussions i.e. Kieran). He’s jubilant and relieved at their victory over the Archdemon, but in the background struggles to process and there is some fallout once the victory celebrations lull and he has time to fully register what happened. Alistair grapples with a lot of guilt, disgust and confusion. He doesn’t know how to express it or where to direct his emotions so it mainly manifests as self-loathing. He wants to talk to Celia about it but can’t articulate his feelings which makes him feel worse.

Celia tries to comfort him, but he needs space on and off for a long while after and she gives him it. She feels a lot of guilt too, and never stops wondering how much it was actually his choice to do the ritual, worrying that she made him feel like he had to do it. Eventually they discuss it openly and honestly, which eases both of their minds somewhat, but it takes a long time to get to a point where they can talk on the subject. Meeting Kieran at Skyhold also helps Alistair down the line, though it’s obviously painful.

Amaranthine & Inquisition

Alistair keeps an eye out for people struggling, especially new recruits who are having trouble fitting in. He takes them under his wing and is very good at building people up and making sure everyone is included. He’ll just start enthusiastically greeting people like they are his best friend and squeezing himself onto the bench next to them at meals until everyone else follows suit.

For recruits that don’t respond well to his ‘mother hen’ type attention, Celia is good at assigning tasks that specifically highlight their strengths and builds their confidence/sense of purpose which also gains them the respect of their peers.

Alistair has been known to stand behind Celia while she is giving mundane orders/making speeches and pull faces or impersonate her, turning stony and impassive when she spins around accusingly because people are laughing.  

But if anyone else talks smack about her he gets very, “Sorry mate, just to clarify was that comment directed at my wife, your Commander, the hERO OF FERELDAN, VANQUISHER OF AN ARCHDEMON!? That’s lucky, I didn’t THINK IT LIKELY. Because that wouldn’t be WISE, would it now?” etc. with some loud, fake laughter and firm backslapping for the worst offenders.

The plan for them to part ways so that Celia can search for a cure goes very badly, especially because Celia (under a lot of stress and not coping™) eventually devolves into, “I’m in charge and I say so,” which is a big betrayal of their agreements both to stay together, and make decisions together on equal footing. She realises this and takes it back but Alistair is demoralised and gives in with a bit of petty, sarcastic reverence e.g. saluting and, “Whatever you say boss, don’t know why I dared to utter an opinion how foolish of me...” so they still part on slightly strained terms, even after later mutually apologising and trying to make the most of their time together before they go.

Both regret the argument during their separation and write horribly soppy letters to each other, but something still feels uncomfortably unresolved until they are together again. They pine. So much. It’s disgusting and cliched. There is considerable sighing and staring at the moon or deep into tankards, very much to the ire of those around them. Alistair can be particularly annoying: “This roll reminds me of my wife...she eats bread sometimes...”

After Celia sends the letter to the Inquisitor, she writes to Leliana directly along the lines of, “I know it was incredibly subtle but I wanted to check: did they get the message? That I will destroy them if Alistair gets hurt?” and Leliana replies in the vein of, “Hon, it wasn’t even remotely subtle ffs…”

When reunited, though ecstatic and nearly delirious with joy and relief, it takes a while to rebuild the trust they once had, especially for Alistair. There’s an unfamiliar awkwardness that flares up unexpectedly, but it doesn’t last and they’re both fully committed to each other and to staying together permanently this time.

Celia and Alistair have a conversation recapping everything that happened while they were apart in which Celia is all, “Poor Hawke. Honestly I’m shocked you didn’t do something obscenely idiotic like try and sacrifice yourself thank the Maker for that…” and Alistair is there, nervously sweating, looking for an exit, loosening his collar etc.

As they settle back into their old routines Alistair will occasionally blurt out things like, “I really like having breakfast with you,” and then berate himself internally for how trite that sounds but Celia replies on cue, “I love waking up next to you and the way you groan when you stretch your back out and the way you check your hair twice before you leave the room and the way you complain if I don’t eat my crusts and the way you still hold my hand when we’re walking...” and basically they’re just blissfully happy being comfortably domestic and even as they get older they are forever just teenagers in love.

The Wardens at Amaranthine acquire/receive a griffon egg and the hatchling imprints on Alistair and decides he is their mother. It can’t cope with separation, crying constantly if Alistair goes out of sight, and won’t let anyone else feed or handle it so Alistair carries them in a sling 24/7. He gets to give orders and run training sessions with the tiny griffon occasionally poking its head out just to glare at everyone.

Whenever the baby griffon squeaks, Alistair automatically replies, “Well said,” or “Excellent point, Ser Beaksly” with a totally straight face.

For the first few months, Celia gets nipped or scratched if she approaches Alistair unless he wraps the griffon up. It so badly wants to fight her. Celia is permitted to sleep in her own bed, as long as the griffon sleeps curled on Alistair’s chest and Celia doesn't try anything outrageous like touching her husband even fleetingly. It gets a little frustrating as the months drag on, but the image of Alistair with the sling over his armour, or with the griffon snuggling possessively around his neck staring daggers at everyone, is so entertaining that Celia can’t get truly annoyed about it. As the griffon gets older it does learn to tolerate other people and becomes more independent but remains very protective of Alistair and favours him above all others. Insert the ‘Ah yes. Me. My husband. And his thousand pound murder-bird-cat child’ meme here.

Modern AU Bonus Round

They share headphones while commuting.

They occasionally end up wearing sort of matching outfits, mostly unintentionally.

They consistently refer to their dog, Trevor, as their son to the point that people who aren’t familiar with them assume that they actually have a child.

[mattressdemon]

bitching about narrative design in bioware games part 2

to summarize part 1 quickly, i bitched a bit about how bioware wrote some characters and designed some parts of the narrative of baldurs gate 1 and 2. they killed the only black woman in the og bg games for a (supposedly) white man’s pain (minsc) and then offered a replacement in the form of a white woman (aerie).

while complaining about bg1 and 2 could stand all on its own, the reason i wanted to talk about those things in particular is to highlight the way bioware writes and designs characters and stories in their later titles, like mass effect, but especially dragon age. i do particularly pick on the writing of david gaider and lukas kristjanson and a little bit on patrick weekes, but this is not meant to be a personal jab at any of them or say anything about their character or beliefs.

overall i think a lot of the way bioware frames certain characters and manipulates the dialogue of certain characters is really more questionable than allowing for actual critical thought. the best examples of my issues with this are cullen, aveline, fenris, dorian and sera. also a special shout out for jacob from mass effect. you might notice that ive now named four characters that lukas kristjanson wrote for; minsc, aveline, sera, and jacob. that doesnt mean i dislike how he writes all of his characters: i actually really enjoy carver and joker, for example.

my issues with the way he wrote these characters directly relates to over-utilization of stereotypes, writing dialogue that sometimes sounds bizarrely out of character, and combine both of those with poor levels of representation in all of the bioware titles.

aveline, while a very enjoyable character (imho) says things that i think directly contrast how she actually thinks and feels in game. she makes many degrading and insulting comments directly at isabela (who was confirmed as a black woman by gaider) about her sexuality and i feel like its honestly really uncharacteristic of her, given how often she finds herself agreeing with a pro-mage hawke throughout the story and how strongly she feels about the real protection and care of people. this is an issue for multiple reasons:

1. isabela is only one of two black female companions in the dragon age franchise, and she does not even have black facial features (she looks pretty european to me, leaving vivienne as the only black woman in the series with black facial features). contrast that to 12 white female companions throughout dragon age including DLCS, and three white female temporary companions (not including merrill, as i already counted her).

2. isabela is expressive and open with her sexuality in a way only one other female character is, and morrigan isn’t even near to the degree that isabela is. also, isabela is bisexual, and the narrative plays hard against characters that are bisexual/pansexual and simultaneously considered slutty (they have one each game! zevran, isabela, iron bull).

3. isabela is a swashbuckler/rogue with a spotty history irt loyalty, again reinforcing stereotypes of characters that are bisexual or bipoc being untrustworthy or of dubious morality.

and none of this would have mattered if there were more black and bisexual/pansexual characters in the series. weekes’ comment about not wanting to make solas black and bisexual because he didnt want to fall into a stereotype? null and void if there were more black and/or bisexual characters in the franchise. representation matters.

i love fenris too! and you know what i hate? people writing GOTCHA dialogue that doesnt even fit a character just to push a devils advocate agenda.

the conversation in question is between fenris and anders in act 2.

fenris: there, your magic would be a mark of honor. apprenticed to the right magister, you would do well.

anders: so they all do those things?

fenris: just the ones who don’t complain about how powerless and persecuted they are.

“just the ones who dont complain about how powerless and persecuted they are” shut the fuck up. why would this come out of fenris’ mouth at all, ever? bruh gaider wrote his storyline, he knows this doesnt make sense. he has to. doesnt he???

and i feel like da2, but especially inquisition, does this a lot. they shove a lot of dialogue into the game that kinda gives you a GOTCHA sorta vibe, like they’re just tryin to snag the inquisitor on bs.

this happens with dorian in inquisition too. if you play a dalish elf inquisitor, theres an entire conversation with him about slavery in tevinter. while the game spends the entire narrative effectively shitting on a dalish inquisitor for being proud of their dalish culture and heritage, dorian is often praised by the narrative for being nationalistic and proud of tevinter’s culture and history. in the conversation, it feels more like dorian is talking at the inquisitor rather than having a thoughtful and engaging discussion about slavery and why his perspective on it might be different. i dont have screencaps off hand atm, but it’s right there in the game, if you have a copy, go play it.

in contrast, in dragon age origins, you can have a conversation with leliana with a dalish warden wherein she says some hurtful things about dalish elves, things that are typically associated with real life stereotypes about indigenous people, like them being “savage” “brutish” or “lazy”. and by the end of the conversation, no matter what you say or do, she apologizes. she says she was wrong to say those things, and she’s sorry, and she won’t do it again. that’s an effective dialogue about serious issues in a video game!!!! not whatever bullshit that dorian conversation was.

and last but not least: sera and jacob. sera is a great character, and yet, she is the only companion who you can actively dismiss / rudely ask her to leave the inquisition throughout the entire game and in every single conversation. the narrative frames this 20 year old (she is YOUNG!!!! who ISNT annoying sometimes when they’re young???) lesbian as an irritant, and most people walk away from inquisition disliking sera. consistently ppl shit on sera throughout the game, and the narrative itself likes to make her an enemy to the inquisitor, make it feel/seem wrong that she constantly questions authority, when so many other characters are shown in a positive light for doing and saying the exact same shit she does. this is part of a larger issue bioware has in general with writing elven women in dragon age (see also the framing of merrill in da2 and velanna in the expansion for origins, awakening).

do i even have to start on jacob? black man with a heart of gold and a deadbeat, creepy, abusive father? then he “cheats” on shepard in mass effect 3 and the narrative gives you the option to punch him? he didn’t even know if shepard was going to be released from custody!!! he knew the reapers were coming and he didn’t know if he would ever see her again!!!! of course some people will feel his actions were a betrayal, but its all ignorant of the circumstances he was in. its not no two years thought dead thing that everyone is okay with excusing (virmire romance), but it’s certainly fucking close.

tl;dr: i hate how bioware frames characters and designs narratives sometimes. if someone ever reads this that works at bioware: please hire more bipoc and queer designers.

[aces-to-apples]

Worst AU prompt: Dragon Age: Origins. AU where everyone meets doing a reality TV show where they all live in a house together.

i wrote a whole response after misreading the ask (because it's been A Whole Day) so i missed that you specified REALITY tv which would ALSO be very funny because lbr not a whole lot of interpersonal stuff would change but i honestly don't know much about reality tv and also don't want to write a second response when i gotta go to bed in like ten minutes

Mistake response to "dragon age but it's a tv show" au under the cut:

Gen i think we have vastly different ideas of what the word "worst" means because lmao that sounds hilarious does anyone remember that old "the blood gulch chronicles was a tv show and project freelancer was its prequel spin-off" post? No? Probably for the best lbr

Well first thing's first morrigan and alistair are actually best friends a la lena headey and peter dinklage, Alistair was a child star on thedosian disney channel and morrigan has no professional acting experience but Alistair tricked her into auditioning and was fucking thrilled when she got the part. Cailan is alistair's also non-actor younger brother whom he convinced to come over to the set and put on this stupid armor and play the king real quick because the original actor didn't show up and everyone's freaking out. They of course look notably similar so alistair's character, who was in fact supposed to be eamon's bastard, was quickly rewritten to be maric's.

I'm thinking flemeth is a world-renowned stage actress that kind of nobody can believe they actually got on dragon age (because it's a dinky little syfy show that everyone really expected to die after the first season but instead became a cult classic almost immediately) and she takes morrigan under her wing while they work together and form a lifelong friendship/mentorship.

Whoever the warden is, their race origin counterpart is their stunt double that they become great friends with over the course of shootijg (brosca and aeducan, tabris and mahariel, cousland and amell) and all the other possible wardens are other crew members.

Zevran was supposed to be a one-off baby antagonist that the warden kills at the end of the interrogation scene (possibly as a sign that they're becoming Darker and Edgier or something) but the second Zev got cast the writers looked at him and said "christ we can't waste this guy just by killing him" and quickly wrote him into the companions; a lot of his background behavior is a cross between orlando bloom's "no one told me what's happening in the scene" legolas and ryan reynolds' "all the writers are striking so i have to write my own character's dialogue" wolverine origins deadpool. He is, of course, a fan favorite and a heartthrob that gossip rags have reported as being involved with every member of the cast at least twice.

Sten's love of cookies is real and the rest of the cast kept ad-libbing jokes about it during takes so it just became canon for his character; he was originally a stunt guy too but then the original actor for the character dropped out first day of shooting so sten just stepped up to the plate.

Leliana is an atheist but takes inspiration for her character's faith from a very devout older woman she's been friends with since she was a teen.

Wynne is also a very experienced stage actor but nobody's surprised that she ended up on dragon age because that's like Her Thing. The only tv/movies she does are cheesy sci-fi and fantasy flicks because she thinks they're fun and relaxing.

Oghren has like three different degrees and is an actual trained fencer and likes his character because he barely has any written lines and gets to just make up inappropriate shit on the spot. He gets into debates with the writer/director about his character's background and motivation and when it's appropriate vs. inappropriate for his character to actually be serious about things.

The writer/director is a former popstar known in her youth as Andraste and the studio making dragon age is called Maker Studios.

[contreparry]

For DADWC, from the vague prompts, Silence that cuts like a knife

Here's some awkward group tension with the Origins crew for @dadrunkwriting!

Alistair didn't like quiet. It was unnerving, not hearing any sound, being surrounded by people, waiting for the silence to drop and someone to say something, anything, even if it was shouting, screaming, words spat out in anger- as long as there was something it was better than the horrible silence. Dear Maker, the silence was worse than any wound, hurt more than any cut from a knife.

He sighed heavily and rose to his feet.

"So do I go get him, or do we draw lots?" he finally asked. Morrigan snorted and crossed her arms over her chest, staring him down with her frightening yellow-gold eyes.

"Ah, yes, let us send you to comfort our armed, dangerous, and furious companion. The one who is a trained assassin who was originally sent out to kill Wardens like yourself. What an excellent idea," she said. Alistair felt the heat creep up to his ears.

"Well, someone has to check on him," he muttered defensively. "Might as well be me." It wasn't like he was particularly good friends with Zevran, but he wasn't going to let the man stew in his anger and obvious hurt and grief over the death of his friend. Former friend? Maker's Balls, it wasn't an easy thing to think about.

"I'll do it," Surana rose up from the boulder he was sitting on and dropped to the ground, leaves crunching loudly underfoot.

"Surana? Are you quite certain, dear?" Leliana asked, her voice lilting like a song even though the question, the doubt, cut through the heavy atmosphere.

"I can handle it," Surana brushed off Leliana's question and rose to his feet. "Alistair?"

"Yes?"

"If I'm not back in an hour come looking for us," he ordered, and he was off, following the trail Zevran left behind him when he made his excuses and walked off from camp in search of firewood. After a moment Morrigan snorted, muffling mocking laughter behind her hand.

"Let us hope they arrive before nightfall, lest you catch them in a compromising position," she remarked, and the heat returned to Alistair's face like a wildfire.