#orochimaru scenario

[nardo-headcanons]

Hey my dear mutual! Another super stupid and weird request coming, so, please, feel totally free to ignore completely if you want, really. So, let's say instead of a criminal organization, the Akatsuki are actually a lab team. Which would be their roles, their work focus or their research topics? How would they behave at work with each other or, I don't know, whatever you can think of. Inspired by your agar plates post, by the way, hahahaha

Hello Sasuke, my dear. Don't call your asks weird, I love how creative they are! If anyone wants to write a fic about this please TAG me!

Big thanks to @the-real-sasuke-uchiha for requesting!

The Akatsuki in a modern research lab AU

Akatsuki Labs, Inc. No one knows what they're actually researching, and how they get their funding, however everyone hires them, they're incredibly popular with institutions and businesses alike...

Deidara is a lab rookie who is still at the beginning of his study. He went to a scientific high school and an absolute ace at chemistry. Besides studying chemistry, his other major is pyrotechnical engineering. He blows shit up on the regular and even adds copper sulphate to fires when he is the one supposed to put them out. He frequently steals minerals from the lab to use them for his pottery projects. And yes, he knows how to make meth.

Hidan is on his way to become a neurologist. He is fascinated by the way the nervous system works (especially while processing pain) and has the ego of a neurosurgeon twice his age. However he is regularly asked for a second opinion because he knows his shit. He's pretty popular with the ladies due to his confidence, however many of them are freaked out when they find out what a huge masochist he is.

I've never seen Itachi as a huge stem guy, but I've actually had a discussion about this with my dear moots @pet-plasma-bubble and @suki91 and came to the conclusion that he's either a plant biologist or studies medicine because he's one of these kids with a chronic and/or underdiagnosed illness going into medicine to make a change. Plant biologist!Itachi regularly talks to his plants when no one is looking and he gives them names as well. He doesn't really care much for the actual lab work and prefers to take care of the plants in the different lab greenhouses. Med student!Itachi is one of these anatomy girlies who draw their stuff in fancy colors and actually enjoy studying human anatomy.

Kakuzu is a senior scientist/professor who initially studied pharmacology/pharmacy to save many lives and prolong the lives of millions, but eventually got disillusioned and sold his soul to the pharma industry. He should technically be retired now, but he joined the Akatsuki labs inc to make some money on the side.

Kisame started out as a marine biologist specializing in shark research, however, seeing these beautiful, innocent creatures get bastardized by Hollywood and pollution made him apply to Akatsuki labs inc to help find solutions to the current crises caused by humanity. During his free time, he volunteers in a dolphin rehabilitation center.

Konan is the cofounder of Akatsuki labs inc, everyone respects her and even looks up to her. Once a brilliant scientist in the field of engineering, she got tired of how male dominated it was and how her male colleagues kept getting the credit for her ideas. She frequently holds lab courses for young girls interested going into the scientific field.

Nagato is the Akatsuki labs founder, and rarely seen in the lab. He has made himself a name in the field of robotics by inventing the Shurado robotics system which helps millions of automated machines run to this day. Rarely seen in the lab, he communicated with his employees via his Pain Alias Email. though to be fair, Konan writes most of these emails for him; she's the only one regularly talking to him face-to-face.

Orochimaru is a geneticist and biochemist, his focus being finding ways to avoid cellular decay, as well as the human genome and anti aging research. His parents are academics as well and he lived up to their expectations to the fullest. He has his own skincare formula which keeps him looking snatched at all times. Given the rumors about several scientific ethical code violations, everyone is kinda scared of him except for his personal lab tech, Kabuto.

Sasori is a renowed mortician who's also very interested in histology. His preparation techniques are unmatched and he even invented new preparation- and histological staining methods, which are called "Red Sand" and "Red Technique", respectively. He often gets into fights with Kakuzu about his microtome collection being unnecessarily expensive.

Tobi is the Akatsuki labs CEO cosplaying as a clueless intern that always steals from the candy bowl in the waiting room. In reality, he has a PHD in physics, his thesis being about rifts in space time and interdimensional interactions, however all of his papers are published under an alias. He has a soft spot for Deidara and refuses to fire him despite the latter's frequent "accidents".

Zetsu is a biological anthropologist fascinated by human evolution and human behavior. Some think even his colleagues are subjects of his studies. Some people say he's two-faced, but he is very chatty and inquisitive most of the time. He volunteered to have Itachi's venus fly traps in his office and can sometimes be seen feeding them dead flies or mosquitoes.

[rashidax2]

Headcanons for being Jiraiya's sister

the results of staying up late and letting your random side decide what to post on your blog.

★ First off, I just wanna say he thinks you're scary 😭

★ You don't play any games if/when you catch him spying on women.

★ Whenever Tsunade's too tired to whoop his ass, you'll do it for her!!

★ Even if you get onto him about being a perv .. you're his sister so it makes sense you pick up some of those perverted attributes. you hide it very well though because you know very well that jiraiya would not let you live it down 😭

★ You two are pretty distant ngl. But whenever y'all randomly see each-other while walking by you point at him (like that spiderman meme 💀)

★ You met Naruto and sometimes Jiraiya gets a little jelly whenever you treat Naruto like a little brother (and u can't help it, he's too cute)

★ But nah you hit him on the head whenever he pouts like a baby and then give him a lil side–hug

★ YOU TWO CAN'T TAKE ANYTHING SERIOUSLY. jiraiya will say something that sounds oddly sexual and then you two will have the most intense staring contest then proceed to laugh like idiots 😭 especially in tsunade's office, she'll just wait until yall are done with one of those red marks on her head

★ Dinner is so fun. You feel guilty for stealing Naruto's frog wallet but you and jiraiya get drinks or something. You don't even discuss the Akatsuki's whereabouts most of the time, just random stuff.

★ When Naruto's asleep after training you two take a quick cloud–watching break and laugh whenever one looks like a butt or something lmao

★ He's not too protective of you since you can damn well take care of yourself but if someone insults you while you're away he'll slap them for sure.

★ He likes to annoy you.

★ "[name].." he pokes your cheek, examining your peaceful sleeping face to see if it would stir. His favorite passtime is waking you up from your slumber while you two are together. His eyes hold a childish glint in them as your eyebrows subconsciously furrow and your hands, that lay beside you, splay out a little more.

★ He does the same action once again, this time his finger pushing more into your flesh. He gasps a little and retracts his hand as your eyes snap wide open right after as if anticipating for him to poke you again. He's aware of how grouchy you are whenever you're woken up, so he takes a step back and raises his hands in front of himself as if telling you to wait. He definitely wasn't expecting for you to actually wake up. "Hello there, dear sister."

★ You show him no mercy as your eye twiches, and like a monkey reaching for a banana, you jump at him and knock him to the floor, giving the hardest punches you could muster. Your eyes are as red as a demon's and that's not because of your tiredness. "DON'T! WAKE! ME! UP!"

★ yeah my creativity goes wild whenever i imagine things.

★ But anyways, he loves embarrassing you. Like giving you piggy–back rides in public. You hate how Naruto finds it amusing. You growl (which sounds pathetic considering that you're on your brother's back) whenever he laughs.

★ Yeah, you embarrass Jiraiya too. You call him things like Ji–chan or Froggy–boy. Its funny whenever he crosses his arms like a kid and tells you to stop it.

★ He thinks you're cool. You've been through so much with him, from fighting enemies to beating his ass for spying on women, he couldn't ask for a better sister. (He'd never say this out loud.) And that's why he swears on his life that he'd always be there for you until the day he dies :(

★ 8/10 brother. Goofy and annoying but still cool.

[suvidrache]

Sleeping Headcanons - Part 2

age in bio when interacting. minors do not interact.

Word Count: 176 / Read it on AO3 | Offline Fics | Part 1

Featuring: Orochimaru, Zetsu, Sasori, Itachi, and Obito/Tobi

Orochimaru

Rarely sleeps, when he does he sleeps fully clothed and away from his s/o.

Zetsu

Both white and black sleep naked, black away from s/o. White sleeps cuddling s/o.

Sasori

Sleeps fully clothed. Unless he's hot, then he may take his shirt off. He sleeps with an arm around you.

Itachi

Sometimes shirtless, sometimes fully clothed. He sleeps fully clothed because it's cold. Then it's hot, so he takes his shirt off. Will cuddle s/o.

Obito/Tobi

He sleeps shirtless, naked, or fully clothed. Most times shirtless. Cuddling s/o or s/o on top of him.

© SUVIDRACHE — do not copy, translate, modify, or plagiarize my work. reblogs are appreciated!

Tag List: @eli-chris / Join My Tag List Here!

[wing-ed-thing]

Orochimaru x Civilian!Reader Headcanons

𓆃 The irony

𓆃 And for someone who, for the most part, moved on from his ambitions of committing war atrocities to satisfy his urge to learn all the jutus, becoming involved with a civilian makes sense, doesn’t it?

𓆃 It’s poetic, if anything, if not a little off-putting. For all the things he’s done, it feels to everyone else as if Orochimaru is pretending to settle into normalcy.

𓆃 It’s not just his actions; his general demeanor doesn’t lend itself to a life of domesticity. Rather, to everyone else, his involvement with a civilian takes on an almost sinister undertone— as if he’s taken a hostage.

𓆃 You, on the other hand, don’t really know what all the fuss is about. You can tell that people are concerned without understanding exactly why

𓆃 Sometimes, you’ll walk around the village, and people will come up to you randomly, asking if you’re okay. You’re just happy to have friends to ask you how you are!

𓆃 Orochimaru doesn’t talk about his life as a shinobi very much, but when he does, you usually hum along, not quite understanding all the jargon. 

𓆃 You have no idea what his criminal record was like— despite him telling you—and you assume that his military history was like that of any other shinobi.

𓆃 When you meet a shinobi, you ask if they know Orochimaru. You don’t understand the reaction you get

𓆃 Orochimaru treats you well, and the two of you indulge in the mundane. Things can swirl on outside your relationship, but whatever it is, you stay oblivious.

Thank you to all who liked, reblogged, followed, and otherwise supported. Your support means so much and is greatly appreciated.

[weeblmaodotcom]

Scenario: Orochimaru has appeared in the front of your house. What do you do? , Meme by Weeblmao.com

[leo-probably]

I’m wondering if Orochimaru would’ve taken Sasuke regardless of how well he performed in the Forest of Death. If Sasuke hadn’t been able to move and got killed (or nearly-killed) by the kunai Orochimaru threw early in the fight, if he had given up the scroll and been too scared to fight back, if he hadn’t used his sharingan, etc. would Orochimaru have taken him anyway, knowing his lineage? Or would he have moved on to the next promising kid he sought out? And who would that have been? Neji? Gaara? Naruto? 

[comikadraws]

sasuke was going to genuinely plan out a genocide and it wasn't something he said in a fit of rage, right?

Was Sasuke Uchiha genocidal?

(2k words of analysis, manga screenshots, and other resources)

To refresh everybody's memory, Sasuke's plan was to destroy Konoha and everybody in it. Not that he actually did but those were his own words.

Now we can interpret this in two ways

Sasuke is blinded by rage and would, in a hypothetical scenario, act on his words (Sasuke is genocidal)

Sasuke is being dramatic and/or would get cold feet when confronted with the scenario (Sasuke is not genocidal)

In my opinion, the first scenario is far more likely to occur and the second lacks sufficient evidence to reasonably rule out that Sasuke is genocidal.

>>Analysis under the cut<<

Let's establish a few things before we begin. But feel free to skip to the next headline.

First, I will judge attempted crime as harshly as committed crime. Since this is not real life, there is no need to reward incompetence or luck. Either way, the focus of this discussion is Sasuke's intent and resolve.

Second, fictional characters don't exist in flesh and blood but as part of a narrative. This means that a character's decisions and psychology heavily depend on the author's intent.

Third, I love Sasuke's character. Do not misunderstand this as hate. This is an analysis of Sasuke's psychology and actions. He has been wronged in horrific ways and deserved better, but that won't make me sanitize his character.

Fourth, the red links are context links, linking back to my own posts. I highly recommend reading them.

The Sincerity of Sasuke's Death Threats

Sasuke rarely jokes around or speaks from a place of uncertainty or dramatics. He says he'll kill Danzo? You bet he does. He says he'll kill Itachi? He does. He says he'll kill Naruto? He tries that as well. Granted, two of these deserved to die (from Sasuke's POV) but what matters here is that Sasuke's threats are meant to be interpreted as sincerity rather than hyperboles.

Not that Sasuke never goes back on his words though, as is the case with the ending (although it is arguably a character inconsistency). The one of the few other time he takes back a threat (chapter 177) it is not a direct threat but an implied one that is based on a hypothetical.

Back then he reconsiders his words - but not really because he retroactively notices he didn't mean them but rather because Kakashi pulls an uno-reverse on him. Afterward, he has 3-4 years to spend on introspection only for him to repeat his threat in chapter 416. Sasuke readiness to induce harm to innocents does not appear to be spontaneous or ill-considered.

Sasuke generally hesitates every now and then. Like when he ends up sparing Naruto after he is knocked unconscious. Or sparing Dosu because Sakura begs Sasuke to stop.

But those moments occurred at an entirely different point in Sasuke's character arc at which he is rapidly bouncing back and forth between cruelty and mercy. More on that later.

The Devolvement of Sasuke's Morals

Sasuke acts entirely differently after the truth reveal. His morals have visibly changed for the worse. Perhaps it becomes the most apparent when comparing chapter 8 to chapter 481. Whereas Genin Sasuke would once help and support his teammates if they could not keep up on their own, a teenage Sasuke disposes of them.

This kind of development first occurs as early on as chapter 56 when Sasuke decides that growing stronger (ends) justifies carrying a curse mark (means). He is on a steady moral decline afterward, first willing to sacrifice his loyalties (Orochimaru), then uninvolved bystanders (Killer B, the other Kage, other shinobi, and samurai), and finally, a friend (Karin) all in pursuit of his goals. It is utilitarian in nature.

Also, please let's not discuss the validity of killing soldiers. We have already dealt with this question during Waves Arc and later when Itachi died. From Sasuke's and other characters' POV (and as evidenced by chapter 343), dehumanizing and discarding a person just for being a soldier on the wrong side is wrong.

What happened to Sasuke over time is, of course, a character arc. A corruption arc, to be specific. Let's make a quick trip.

A character arc is initiated by some sort of trigger event. If said event lies between a version A and B of a character, chances are that their sympathy, competence, or proactivity have become incomparable to each other. This is why a 13-year-old version of Sasuke (pre truth reveal, which is his trigger event for this specific arc) does not inform us about the workings of a 17-year-old version.

Before this triggering event, Sasuke is also in the midst of a turning point in his arc, hence the indecisiveness about killing Naruto. You can view this in parallel to the Hero's Journey's "Refusal of the Call" during which Sasuke is still hesitant about the road he is taking until the triggering event makes the decision for him.

Now, back to Sasuke's morals. Personally, I believe what stands at the helm of Sasuke's corruption arc is a decrease in self-awareness and a growing lack of empathy.

There's a certain hypocrisy to Sasuke's decision-making. Sasuke is grieving a brother but then attacks somebody else's brother. He is enraged about Konoha discarding Itachi as a tool but will then proceed to abandon his own comrades (Team Taka). He condemns the genocide committed against the Uchiha but then plans a genocide of his own. Injustice is only injustice if inflicted on Sasuke but not if caused by Sasuke.

This does not compare to a younger Sasuke, who uses his own trauma to understand and connect with others and to discern right from wrong. Sasuke is capable of empathizing with Naruto because he is lonely (like himself) and Sasuke finds Orochimaru "disgusting" for viewing humans as mere tools (like a genocidal Itachi). But, over the course of his arc, his trauma instead turns into a weapon to distance himself from others.

The in-universe reason for this change is likely that Sasuke's mind is fully occupied with his own grief and rage. He is blinded by it, so much so that he no longer has the mental space to accommodate other people's pain and suffering.

There is also a narrative device to this, usually applied in the "darkest hour", such as "Batman Grabs a Gun". The purpose is to draw attention to the severity of the situation while also providing more depth to a character by giving them an underlying layer (their emotions/struggles/etc.) beneath their facade (their morals/reputation/etc.).

In Sasuke's case, this is used to highlight his grief for Itachi which is greater than any moral principle Sasuke has.

Intensity and Duration

So, Sasuke is definitely blinded by his rage. But is it a "fit"? I suppose that this is a matter of definition.

Sasuke's hatred for Konoha appears to be a constant. It doesn't change. It doesn't lessen. Not after a couple of hours and not after a couple of days.

To me personally, due to its duration, this is no longer a fit of rage but a mindset - one that Sasuke seems to wholeheartedly believe in.

Regardless of this, we have no indication that Sasuke's rage would lessen anytime soon. On the contrary, actually. Sasuke claims that his hatred has only grown since then.

The question we now have to ask is whether or not Sasuke would be able to rein in his rage in time to spare innocent lives. Alternatively, and combined with Sasuke's willingness to kill his own teammates, it is entirely possible that Sasuke's rage would power through, as it did for approximately 300 chapters in canon.

The Attempts

Now, the most damning argument I have to offer is that Sasuke was already intending to make his genocide plans a reality (or take steps to do so) on three occasions. Twice during the Summit Arc and once during the War Arc.

On all three occasions, the reason why his plans don't come to fruition is because Sasuke gets sidetracked or stopped outright.

In addition, there are three other problems slowing him down. Right in chapter 416, Kisame explains that Sasuke is not strong enough to fight the entire village - even with Taka's help but even more so without them. This conflicts with Sasuke's belief that Taka likely won't approve of his genocide plans or should not be involved for other reasons (which is why Sasuke pretends in front of them). He both needs Taka and has to get rid of them.

Later on, Naruto declares that he will always be there to defend Konoha against Sasuke. My interpretation of this is that Sasuke not only honors his bond with Naruto but also recognizes that fighting Konoha and Naruto simultaneously is not strategically wise - hence he needs to defeat Naruto beforehand.

First Attempt

Sasuke takes Team Taka with him, believing them to be necessary backup. Then Obito intervenes who both threatens Sasuke and gives him the wrong impression that Konoha is "no more" - either fully eradicated or too weak to defend itself.

This might erase the need for Taka as Konoha is weakened significantly and Danzo can be targeted separately from the village.

Second Attempt

In the meantime, Sasuke kills Danzo. As explained by Kisame, a greater conflict with the entirety of Konoha is inevitable if you aim at major political leaders.

On his second attempt, he has coincidentally already managed to abandon the entirety of Team Taka, just as planned in chapter 416. But this time, before he can go to Konoha, he instead encounters Team 7. As explained previously, Sasuke soon realizes that he cannot destroy Konoha before killing Naruto. And before that, he needs to get his eyes fixed. This results in Sasuke's withdrawal from the fight.

Third Attempt

On his third try, the one in which he decides to target Naruto first, he instead gets sidetracked by the appearance of Itachi on the battlefield.

"Sidetracked" doesn't mean "giving up" or "displaying disinterest" in a different goal. Otherwise, Sasuke's training under Orochimaru for 3-4 years would be proof of his disinterest in killing Itachi. Sasuke is simply prioritizing urgent matters and acting strategically.

Now, all of this "getting sidetracked" might sound a little convenient. But the question is "convenient for who?"

It is of course possible that Sasuke is openly searching for excuses because he doesn't truly want to eradicate Konoha, making him a harmless villain. The other explanation is that Kishimoto was the one looking for excuses.

In a conversation, @theheirofthesharingan pointed out that Sasuke is being "saved by the narrative" ie. plot armor. Though not in the sense that he is being protected from harm but rather that he is being protected from inflicting harm, probably as an extension of Konoha's own plot armor. This also ensures that Sasuke remains "redeemable" and likable to the audience so that Naruto can fulfill his goal of bringing him back to Konoha.

Conclusion

As I said in the beginning, there is a huge mountain of evidence suggesting that Sasuke not only fantasized but would've acted on his revenge plans against Konoha. This is because

We know Sasuke to be a non-dramatic character who doesn't easily back away from his own words.

Sasuke is on a corruption arc, his morals declining far enough to kill a friend. It seems unlikely that he'd draw the line at a stranger.

From a writing point of view, continuing Sasuke's corruption arc makes more logical sense unless he experiences another trigger event. It also further highlights Sasuke's pain.

Sasuke has repeated his goal multiple times over, leading me to believe that his mood wouldn't change soon enough for Sasuke to second-guess himself.

Sasuke has taken steps towards the fulfillment of his goal. It is entirely possible that, if Konoha didn't have plot armor, Sasuke would've found the right time to destroy the village eventually.

Of course, Sasuke's morals are not entirely gone, as we can see when he refuses to join Kabuto (though potentially just because Kabuto antagonizes Itachi). It is still entirely possible that Sasuke would've gotten cold feet when physically confronted with the task of killing innocent civilians. But this possibility is hardly entertained by any of the characters and Sasuke himself doesn't seem conflicted about his plans. It seems like Kishimoto intended for Sasuke to be genocidal, most evidence pointing toward this reading of his character.

I certainly have my opinions on this matter but, like always, this is a matter of interpretation.

Debating me is fine. I like to discuss my favorite characters. But screenshotting, blocking me, and then attacking me behind my back (and without having ever interacted with me) in a new post is a no-go for obvious reasons.

[twomiddlefingersforthehaters]

Volume 38 is quite an interesting volume, and its cover is more like a romantic novel cover. Kishi gives it an orange sky background. Orange it is a warm and vibrant color that can help to convey excitement, action, attraction, fascination and energy. Orange color commonly used in movie posters because these colors can evoke feelings of warmth, passion, which are ideal for certain genres such as action or romance. Orange represents desire, passion, and love. And Orange symbolizes love and happiness.

In this volume we see naruto's longing for Sasuke. Naruto is very happy or satisfied knowing that his chakra nature matches Sasuke's fire type. He developed Rasen-Shuriken by continuously keeping Sasuke in his mind.

After being hospitalized due to the after-effects of using the Rasenshuriken, he and Sakura are alone here, this is his best chance to flirt with her, but he reverts back to Sasuke again. He is not worried about the consequences of using Rasenshuriken. Instead he emphasizes about how they're getting closer to Sasuke and is very happy about it.

In the previous scenario, Naruto was brainrotting about Sasuke, and when sai & sakura approached him he lied that he was devising a date with Sakura. If you say he lied because he didn't want to worry her about Sasuke…if that's the problem, then he shouldn't lie about dating her when he's thinking about another boy. He could have said, "I was just thinking about Sasuke…how to save him…blah blah blah…" Kishimoto could have easily done something like this, but he spent an entire page showing that Naruto lied about thinking about a date with a girl, but the fact is that he was thinking about a boy this whole time. To them, they don't know what's on his mind... but to the readers, it gives a hint that he's gay but closeted (trying to hiding it from others). His lying makes it more ambiguous and more obvious that he loves Sasuke...but not in a brotherly or friendly way.

While eating ramen with his teammates at Ichiraku, Naruto suddenly looked unhappy, quiet, depressed, and soulless.

Sasuke is what makes Naruto so determined. He developed the Rasenshuriken to save Sasuke from Orochimaru. He doesn't mind getting seriously injured while using his jutsu as long as he gets to closer to Sasuke and able to rescue him. So, when it comes to Sasuke, Naruto won't listen to anyone's advice to the contrary, no matter who gives it and how well-intentioned. That's why he suddenly shut Kakashi up with a smile.

Come to think of it, it wasn't the first time he shut others down when the subject was about Sasuke. Even though he was wrapped in bandages, his irritation was visible in his eyes. He doesn't care what happens to him, all that matters to him is Sasuke, which is why he doesn't like it when others try to get in between him and Sasuke or trying to stop him.

When Sasuke sees the bridge, he remembers Naruto and reacts to it with a calm gentle smile. While Sasuke is in his world of nostalgia he doesn't even hear Suigetsu talking to him.

Although the two do not interacting, yet, they are thinking about each other in this volume.

[cursingtoji]

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑪𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒉𝒆́𝒔™ — milestone event

status: closed

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ took me forever to get here but yay! so i assembled 50 cliche au’s and prompts and the rules are simple

choose up to 3 prompts

you can specify a scenario based on the prompt just don’t go too crazy (or go what do i know)

try not to send the same prompt + character someone already sent

works that have been posted will be linked beside the prompt

you can choose the genre or leave it to me

fandoms: jjk, aot, kny, chainsaw man, naruto, death note, tokyo revengers, demon slayer

works will be under the tag #— the cliches ™ or you can check the list below

Use the form if you wanna be tagged in a specific work

works will also be in my ao3

note: no more gojo please he’s 70% of this list already

note 2: can’t believe I’m saying this but also let’s hold on toji too

pink = requested blue = posted

1. lost love

2. kiss in the rain [Denji]

3. drunk confession [Toji]

4. being carried [Gojo]

5. bodyguard au [Eren] [Nanami]

6. saving you [Gojo]

7. friends with benefits but…

8. helping each other getting ready/unready

9. wet transparent shirt [Denji]

10. “he’s dangerous, stay away” [Toji]

11. only one bed [Gojo]

12. interrupted kiss [Itachi]

13. touching under the table [Eren]

14. showering together [Aki]

15. forbidden love [Toji] [Eren]

16. “i didn’t know you were into that” [Kakashi]

17. hugging from behind [Reiner]

18. when they/you are sick (choose one) [Denji]

19. sexual tension [Aki] [Sukuna]

20. “i thought i lost you” [Toji]

21. hate sex [Gojo]

22. secret relationship [Sukuna]

23. touching foreheads [Itachi]

24. “you’re doing great” [Nanami]

25. love triangle

26. exes [Gojo]

27. “who did this to you?” [Gojo] [Sukuna]

28. fake dating [Gojo]

29. sex under the influence [Yuki]

30. losing your/their virginity [Chifuyu]

31. tattoo artist au [Choso]

32. casual ass slap [Kishibe]

33. “what happened to us?” [Gojo]

34. jealous [Gojo] [Geto]

35. when you cry [Toji]

36. buying you tampons

37. period sex (you can see where my train of thought led me) [L]

38. coworker/boss au [Nanami]

39. caught masturbating [Geto]

40. aftercare [Aki]

41. kissing your hand

42. “are you sure about this?” [Toji]

43. sitting on their lap [Geto]

44. morning sex [Toji] [Orochimaru]

45. trapped together [Geto] [Jean]

46. “what if someone sees us?” [Jiraya]

47. when you have been apart for too long [Aki] [Jiraiya]

48. roommates [Geto] [Yuki]

49. holding hands

50. “stay” [Sukuna]

[tozettastone]

well i reread Battlefield Wisdom and then i read your blog and read your recent posts .... sooooooo would you ever write Kakuzu/Deidara? maybe? and if so, how?

This pairing doesn't, like, speak to me in my bones, but yeah, sure, I'd write Kakuzu/Deidara. I think the specific scenario would be interesting to conceptualise.

Deidara is a clay-eating trembling chihuahua with delusions of grandeur. Kakuzu is an angry and avoidant organ thief who has embraced "hired killer" as his entire identity. I guess two ideas that have occurred to me are:

I think I could leverage Kakuzu's sewing him back up (as depicted in Battlefield Wisdom) into a ship fic if I worked at it, so that's one way to look at it.

It could also be fun to partner Deidara and Kakuzu up for a mission and make them learn to appreciate each other's less annoying attributes. This could be a temporary partner-lending scenario, or it could be canon divergence. Like, let's say, Orochimaru takes Sasori apart before Kakuzu gets Hidan and it shakes out that he fetches up with Deidara instead, and Orochimaru ends up with Hidan. So it could be Kakuzu and Deidara punctuated by the absolutely wild shenanigans of Orochimaru and Hidan in the background. That would also make the kakudei pairing look really functional to a reader tbh.

ETA for context: Battlefield Wisdom is this one

[nardo-headcanons]

Kirigakure Worldbuilding II - Specialties

Inspired by a recent conversation I had with @pxssy-stuntin-for-itxchi, I got wanted to add more to my Kirigakure worldbuiling post!

Food Preservation Since except for a month during the winter, it never really gets cold in Kirigakure. This has lead to its citizens becoming very creative at enhancing the shelf life of the food that they have. Meat/fish is dry-aged and smoked, fruits are turned into preserve, cheong, or slow-dried. Dairy is a luxury in the water realm, so there are a lot of plant based dairy alternatives already, so it’s no surprise the wave realm has a quite big vegetarian and vegan population. Even though their spice tolerance is not the highest, when talking SALT tolerance, no village can beat Kiri. They are VERY generous with salting their food. In order to get a smokey flavor to any dish, you can obtain smoked salt everywhere in the country. The water realm was the first region the come up with the concept of fermentation of food. Milk is turned into yoghurt and cabbage is turned into kimchi and its more popular variant - sauerkraut. Fun fact: Suigetsu comes from a high ranking caste, so he actually was able to afford dairy yoghurt and jello with actual gelatine, and they're his favorite foods.

Kimchi and Sauerkraut

The general spice tolerance of Kiri citizens is not the highest across the shinobi world, so kimchi is mostly exported to Konoha and Suna. The cabbage grown in the water realm is specifically bred to be extra heat resistant and crunchy. In order to cut down on waste, the excess is turned into sauerkraut juice. To put less of a strain on the public healthcare system, the water realm government has issued its citizens to exercise and eat healthy – especially children. To get more children to drink sauerkraut juice, it is produced in portable, biodegradable little juice boxes which are handed out for free in the Kirigakure academy. Every Kiri genin has tasted it atleast once. Scurvy was once a big problem for most shinobi going on long term stealth missionas, since most just lived off dried meat and crackers, except for Kiri Nin, since they always carry sauerkraut juice (and kumquats) with them.

Fruit

Mangos: With their sweet and fruity taste, they’re popular amongst children, especially when dried, rolled into balls with an added sugar crust. While other countries see them as a special treat they’re a staple in Kiri. Papaya: Another Kiri staple. It is eaten either as a fruit in its orange form or in its green form in more hearty dishes. The seeds are ground and sold as a pepper alternative. Its extracts of the are used by the Kiri beauty industry, which is the biggest one, closely followed by Suna's beauty industry. Peaches: Often grown on the mountaintops of the water realm, they’re loved all over the country. Peach trees are seen as a sign of fertility, renewal and good luck. The pits are turned into persipan, which many foreigners don't like. Durian: Those stinky fruit are banned in Kiri’s public spaces. However, it is still the most popular fruit overall, so only a few get exported yearly, much to the other countries' durian lovers' chagrin. Jackfruit: Not a lot of Kiri citizens like its fleshy texture but it is often used as meat alternative by Kiri’s large plant-based population. Lychee: They’re often sugared and canned, or added to jelly. They're amongst the most popular fruit to make cheong with.

Kumquat: Kiri nin love them because they’re basically easily portable, vitamin c filled snacks. Other honorable mentions include: Rambutan, Mangosteen, Starfruit, Cherimoya, Soursop, Yuzu and Tamarillo.

Jelly If you’ve read my last post on Kiri specialties, you probably know that instead of manufactured candy, Sweet tooths (teeth?) in Kiri chomp down on dried fruit, fermented sugary sticky rice and – jelly. Gelatine, like most non fish animal products, is a luxury so most jellies are made with agar-agar, a plant based “gelatine”. Just take some fruit juice and set it with agar – and there you have jelly. Most foreigners find Kiri’s obsession with jelly pudding off-putting, but that doesn’t stop them. Fun fact: Suigetsu comes from a high ranking caste, so he actually was able to afford dairy yoghurt and jello with actual gelatine, and they're his favorite foods. Non food fun fact: As genetic engineering gets more advanced and Kirigakure already having no issues using bacteria, they're also the biggest exporter of nutrient agar for agar plates which are used for the cultivation of bacteria and funghi. Kigakure is the leading village when it comes to biological and medical advancements, which is why Orochimaru has visited very often (and eventually ran into Kimimaro)

[mixelation]

Tori/Obito

Send me a ship and I'll give you my (brutally) honest opinion on it

i am absolutely devastated to admit i'm kind of into it (cringe content under the cut)

my initial concept for the obito-tori dynamic would be a weird mirror of her relationship with orochimaru: there's parts of it that are rewarding for her, and if you turn your brain off for long enough, you might think "oh, he likes her and they get along." but, ultimately, obito would have no problem killing tori if she got out of line. unfortunately then i accidentally made them. friends?????

???????????

anyway, another thing i wanted to explore with this dynamic is: tori definitely learned a lot in oto. she's wiser about playing with fire now. so, in some sort of even CRACKIER au than whatever plasticity is, i can see them.... in some sort of.... horrible, perpetual game of gay chicken? they're mutually flirting with the other one completely screwing them over. they're technically married in tea country. tori flirts with kakashi entirely to fuck with obito's mind. obito reads icha icha specifically to fact check tori and annoys her into yanking his hair and then lets her because he likes human contact. they're horrible together. they don't know how to stop.

"so what sort of CRACKIER au--" okay consider this mind-bending scenario in reborn au au: toxicity

tori dates itachi for a while. obito is on-again off-again fuckbuddies with kakashi. but then:

the way i'm imagining itatori, they do have several breaks from each other, because neither of them go into it thinking they'll end up married.

the sexual tension between kakashi and obito is still insane, but kakashi is eventually like "so this might be unhealthy?" because he listens to rin, and then they end up calling it off

so at some point while they're both single, obviously somehow obito and tori end up together

no one liked that!

i still don't think obito/tori is as tasty as kakashi/obito in this au, but the sheer mindfuck this would give literally everyone is. amusing.

[suvidrache]

PDA With The Akatuski - Part 2

age in bio when interacting. minors do not interact.

Word Count: 299 / Read it on AO3 | Offline Version | Part 1

Featuring: Orochimaru, Zetsu, Sasori, Itachi, and Obito/Tobi

Orochimaru

No affection, even in private. Now he may put an arm around you as in a "you belong to me" sort of way.

Zetsu

Black Zetsu didn't want to be in a relationship to begin with, but here we are. No affection whatsoever. Only in private, after he's been with you for a while. White Zetsu has no idea what this is or what it means. It makes you happy though, so he'll keep doing it!

Sasori

Hand holding. Nothing else. He's not one to display lots of affection.

Itachi

Would put an arm around you, hold hands, but that's as far as he will go. Maybe a quick kiss if no one else is around. Not much into PDA.

Obito/Tobi

Would hold hands, put an arm around you. Maybe kiss if no one is around. As Tobi, he would sort of hold hands. He'd be holding your hand and then let go for some reason and forget to hold your hand again.

© SUVIDRACHE — do not copy, translate, modify, or plagiarize my work. reblogs are appreciated!

Tag List: @eli-chris / Join My Tag List Here!

[smh-yoon]

akatsuki - fucking you dumb

a/n: if you didn't know, i have an akatsuki bf/gf scenario book on wattpad and i was writing something for pein today that got a little spicy, so i had to bring it here. this will include all nine members, not including orochimaru.

pairings: pein, konan, hidan, kakuzu, deidara, sasori, obito, kisame, itachi x fem! reader

genre: smut; fem! on fem!, male! on fem!

warnings: dirty dirty talk!! (praise and degrading), swearing, creampie, fingering, giving head - male and fem receiving, exhibitionism, threesome, possessiveness, choking, toxic behavior (obito), tentacles, spitting, manhandling?, pool sex ofc

enjoy ;)

PEIN

the cold wood of the desk brushed against your nipples with every thrust of pein's hard cock into your cunt, adding to the buildup of your approaching orgasm.

he had your hands locked behind your back, using them to tug you backwards onto his leaking dick as he threw his head back. the best part about him being such a skilled shinobi is that he had plenty of stamina.

slick was dripping down your thighs, and he'd already fucked you through your first orgasm. his fingers were pressing hard against your skin where he was gripping you, jaw clenching as he felt his own climax approach.

suddenly he was pressing you down against the desk, arching your back with one hand and setting an all new pace as he drilled into you. in moments, you were gushing around him, nearly screaming as he brushed you g-spot until he was pumping his load into you, cum dripping down your shaking thighs.

KONAN

konan's bare breasts were pressed against your back, nipples hard against your skin as she fingered you from behind.

she was determined to make you squirt for the third time today, tears already dripping down your cheeks as you jerked from the sensitivity of your aching cunt. you couldn't help arching into her hand, desperately seeking your orgasm.

the sheets under you were soaked in your cum, and konan's fingers were sticky with your slick from fingering you non stop. her other hand reached around your stomach as she began thrusting her fingers faster.

the other hand flicked at your clit, circling and pressing hard as you sobbed in pleasure. you came again, crying out as the intense sensation made you eyes roll back.

HIDAN

hidan's obnoxious laugh made you want to cry, choking on kakuzu's cock in your mouth and he fucked you harder from behind. he was so sure you were into kakuzu enough that he invited him into a threesome, not the kakuzu minded.

his fingers threaded through your hair, the tugging making your eyes rolling back as you swallowed around his thick cock. "just like that slut. couldn't live with just one cock fuckin' you, huh? had to have two."

your jaw went slack as hidan kept up his bruising pace, paying no mind to the increasing volume of the hums you could get out around kakuzu. hidan's voice reached your ears in the haze of the moment.

"gonna cum in you, then watch kuzu fuck my cum back into your cunt. show him how good you take it whore."

KAKUZU

kakuzu was still counting money in the corner of the room, paying no mind to you as you writhed on the bed, bound by long tendrils stretching from his form. two skinnier ones alternated thrusting into your pussy, another flicking your clit.

this was your punishment, for forgetting to pick up one of his bounties. no big deal, he could always get some other quick cash, but there was no way he was letting you off easy.

"kakuzu.. please!" you were so close to the edge it hurt, but he never let you cum. not for the past half hour you'd been tied with your hands above your head.

his eyes flicked lazily to you, gaze dark as a smirk slid onto his face. with a chuckled he sent another tendril your way, watching it slide around your neck.

"shut up, i have to restart now."

DEIDARA

long blonde hair brushed against your shoulders as your eyes rolled back, deidara's hand on your shoulder holding you up as he pushed his cock past your walls.

he'd made a bet with hidan that he could fuck you till you cried, and he was sure to deliver. you were in tears after the first orgasm, after he ate your pussy out the way he knew best. and another bet later, now he was determined to fuck you till he couldn't cum anymore.

hidan was sitting directly in front of you at the edge of bed in his own chair, cock pulled out of his pants, leaking from the tip. he'd been barking orders all night, telling deidara where to touch, cum, how to fuck you and your mouth properly. if you didn't hate hidan so much, you might've thanked him for the advice, because you were getting your brains fucked out.

he stood from his spot, coming close and grabbing your jaw roughly, watching you gaze up at him through hazy eyes. then he was spitting into your open mouth, watching you flinch and moan and deidara fucked you faster as he sat back down and enjoyed the show.

SASORI

sasori was quick to attach as many strings as he wanted to your limbs, controlling you just the way he wanted, his own personal fuck doll. he'd watched you finger yourself, fuck yourself with whichever synthetic cock he chose, and now he was watching you choke down his own.

he had all the power, and he knew it got you off too. never having to worry that pretty, empty head about having to do any work. he might as well keep you with his other puppets, if that's all you were good for.

a groan left his mouth as you choked around him, swallowing and moaning at the way he filled your throat.

when he looked back down at you, one of his puppets leaning against the wall caught his attention. his newest, and by far the biggest he'd built. he rung his fingers in your hair and pulled you off his cock, petting your face as you gasped for air.

"get up. we're doing something new."

OBITO

"what the fuck were you doing? huh? think you can run off to some other man?"

you were sobbing into the pillows, back aching as obito pounded into you. it hurt, so so good. he was using you however he wanted, you were his stress relief, but that didn't mean you could get away with whoring yourself out to the akatsuki. not that you actually did, he was just a jealous freak when it came to you.

he reached around your shoulders and leaned down, sweaty chest pressed against your back as he got close to your ear, nearly growling as he spoke.

"you remember no one will ever fuck you like this. you're fucking mine."

KISAME

one of kisame's ultimate fantasies was to let him hunt you down in the water, a predator-prey type situation. you always worried he'd take it too far, maybe hurt you, accidentally drown you. as his thick cock slid into your pussy for the first time that night, warm water lapping at your skin, his hands holding you tight against him, you couldn't help but wonder why you waited so long.

while he'd pulled you to a quiet shore of a hidden cove, you were worried you were still too loud, that the world would hear.

kisame's shark teeth grazed your shoulder as he let out a shuddering breath against your skin, feeling your nails dig into his back. the feeling of his razor sharp teeth made you nearly freeze with terror, but you tightened around him as your body tingled.

"hope you can handle a little blood."

ITACHI

as much as you wanted itachi to trap you in an endless sex fantasy with a genjutsu, he was a much more gentle lover. not that you minded, he always made sure your needs were more than fulfilled.

he was taking his time lapping up your pussy, sucking and kissed and tonguing wherever he could reach. he lived for the feeling of your hips bucking into his mouth, fingers gripping his hair from the overwhelming pleasure he gave you.

he knew you so well, listened to your breathing and the volume of your moans, hearing them get more high pitched as you neared your orgasm.

"come on pretty girl, let me take care of you."

<3 <3 <3

[thottyimagines]

I need what the sasuke/tsunade training dynamics would be.

Sassy brat + alcoholic takes no shit = funniest thing ever actually

Sasuke/Tsunade Sageswap

Sasuke tries his surly shit and gets decked on the first day.

He also gets decked on the second, third, fourth, tenth, thirtieth, and sixtieth day.

Sasuke is...a slow learner when it comes to not attempting to pull his Uchiha privilege.

Tsunade contemplates invoking the old Senju/Uchiha wartime hatred of it all. Then she remembers she can just beat this brat into submission and he doesn't even hate her, he's just traumatized and doesn't know what to do about the growing familial feelings he's developing for her.

In turn, she develops familial feelings for him and grows 10x more aggressive, for now he must survive.

Sasuke is forced to learn to heal without his Sharingan first. He needs to learn chakra control for a what-if worst case scenario.

Then he needs to learn it all over again with his Sharingan, because now he can see the chakra flow and it's so much easier it's insane.

He's furious with Tsunade for depriving him of his natural advantage. He does not realize the gift she gave him with learning chakra control all by himself until he's well into adulthood.

Sasuke makes himself a Yin seal by 15.

Tsunade is appalled.

Sasuke becomes a slug sage and weaponizes his awesome healing power into pummeling Itachi and forcing his cells to heal and reproduce to cancerous levels. He commits fratricide with the tools Tsunade gifted him.

Tsunade glows with the knowledge that she is the only one who has an apprentice truly surpassing the master so quickly.

Given this particular sage swap, I guess Orochimaru is miserably attempting to override the nine tails' willpower and possess Naruto's body, and Jiriaya is no longer allowed to write porn or be a massive pervert and is instead teaching Sakura everything he knows about sealing.

[otakween]

Digimon Frontier - Episode 19

This episode kinda sucked, but I can't fully hate it because they showed me a lot of yummy food and that's always a win in my book. As with the previous episode the plot was just absurd filler nonsense. Doesn't Petaldramon have better things to do then create a whole hostage scenario because he's hungry? Imagine if other villains did this in the middle of their shows!? (For some reason Orochimaru was the first one who came to mind lol).

Notes:

I hope burgermon isn't just a gimmicky digimon that shows up for one episode. I think the design is pretty cute and it would be funny to see a burgermon fight in a serious situation (like in one of the video games).

Chamelemon made me roll my eyes. I hate it when a mon is just...a real animal. Talk about lazy.

I can't help but find PetalDramon cute. I want there to be another PetalDramon that's nice so I can stan them. (The current one is pretty unlikeable personality-wise).

Why did they have so much fruit in the burger making workshop? Leave it to the Japanese I guess (they like their fruit sandos)

Tomoki crying while cutting onions was a mood. I have the same sensitivity and it sucks.

The kids being like "I've literally never cooked before!" is I guess valid for 10 year olds? I don't really remember when I started cooking. I kind of thought Japanese kids started earlier than American kids since they help with school lunches sometimes. I wonder when Japanese cooking classes begin?

Honestly I feel like every burger looked really good except for maybe Koji's weird fruity concoction (I'd still try it, but I don't think sweets and hamburger bun bread mix).

This made me miss watching cooking/baking anime. Gotta get back on that wagon!