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babeydollx · 3 months

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Jealousy | JJ Maybank

୨୧ Warnings: cursing, smut, oral sex, fingering.

୨୧ Pairings: JJ Maybank x Female Reader

୨୧ Summary: In which, JJ gets jealous of Y/N's friendship with John B after Y/N comes back from a 2 month long trip.

୨୧ Word Count: 1.5k

୨୧ Author's Note: Damn, this was the first fic I ever wrote two years ago, it's fairly obvious by the writing lmao. I am going to be reuploading all of my fics to match the changes I am making to my blog so.

You sat by the fire. Taking in the crisp autumn air around you, you’re happy to finally get to see your friends again, especially your boyfriend. You’ve been gone for two months with your parents because of your father’s work. JJ walks over to you with two beers in hand then passes you one.

“I’m so glad I get to see you again babe..” JJ smiled sitting down before giving you a gentle kiss on your head. You smile and rest your head on his shoulder. “I’m glad too. I really missed this.” You said as he wrapped an arm around you. “Hey! Don’t hog Y/N! We missed her too.” Kiara said with a chuckle as she sits beside you, pulling you away from JJ into a hug. You laugh and hug her back, then look over to JJ. He looked annoyed.

“Ok Kie.. I get that you missed her but, I’d like to spend sometime with my girlfriend. It’s been two months since I’ve got to see her.” JJ said with a sigh. “Oh come on JJ.” John B said as he sat down with the rest of you. “She’s our best friend too, we missed her as much as you did.” “Sorry babe.. looks like you have to share for a little bit.” You giggled softly but blew him a kiss to make him feel better.

JJ chuckled quietly and pretended to catch it in his hand and put his hand over his heart. “Okay I get that you two love birds missed each other, but please, save that shit for later.” Pope said as he sipped his beer. You jokingly flipped him off. That’s how your relationship with Pope worked, you both teased and made fun of each other, that’s how you bonded.

Pope rolled his eyes playfully and took another sip of his beer. “But really Kie, now you’re hogging her, let JB and I see her too.” he chuckled “Fineee..” Kiara chuckled and let go of you, so you went and sat in-between John B and Pope. John B hugged you, gently squeezing. You giggled and hugged him back. John B was your best friend. You had known him even before JJ met him.

After you got a few drinks into you, you were playfully messing with John B. “I- okay is this how it’s going to be? Fine.” John B laughed and started tickling you making you squeal. “I- ok ok.. I’m sorry just stop!” You giggled. JJ watched you and John B laugh and mess around, all you could see in his eyes was jealousy. He didn’t enjoy sharing you, even with your friends and seeing the way you were with John B right now made it worse. JJ looked away from both then got up to get another beer.

Pope, Kiara, and John B had already left so it was just you and JJ now. You were a little tipsy but still aware of your surroundings. JJ was drunk and sitting on the couch, he seemed annoyed. “Baby..? Are you ok?” You asked sitting beside him and took one of his hands into your own.

“Do you love me? Or are you just with me to get close to John B?” He said sounding irritated. “Wait.. JJ where is this coming from?” You cupped his face to make him look at you, worry filled your eyes. “You and John B. I saw the way you acted with him tonight. You barely even acknowledged me.” JJ frowned. Even though he was drunk he was still making sense.

“I mean.. I was with you the second I got home this morning, we were together all day today baby.. and I loved it, trust me. Nothing makes me happier than being with you but, I also wanted to spend time with you and John B, Kiara, and Pope. I missed them too baby.” You said as you frowned a little. “I- I know..” JJ sighed. “I just missed you so much and.. I didn’t want to share you. I wanted you for myself.” He said. “Mmm.. well nothing is new there..” You giggled softly. “Plus.. you wore my favorite bikini tonight. You looked… so fucking hot. I couldn’t even keep my eyes off you.” JJ said as he got close to your ear, his hot breath tickled your skin. “You have no idea how much I just wanted to fuck you.” He whispered.

You bit back a whimper. You could feel yourself getting wet. You then closed your legs tightly. JJ looked down and smirked. “Mmm.. don’t close those legs yet baby.” He said as he spread your legs again. He pulled at the strings on both sides of your bikini bottoms, making the fabric fall off, your pussy now exposed. He then did the same to your bikini top so you were now naked.

JJ studied your body for a moment biting his lip. JJ then tugged his swimming trunks off and stood up beside the couch. You giggled and got onto your knees knowing exactly what he wanted. Your mouth latched onto his cock as you started to suck. JJ let out a low groan as you kept bobbing your head now taking in his full length. JJ let out a loud moan before pulling you up to kiss you passionately. You slithered your tongue into the kiss as he grabbed your waist pulling you closer.

JJ pulled back then picked you up making your legs wrap around his waist and he took you to his room. He walked in, shut the door, and tossed you onto the bed. You giggled as he got on top of you and kissed you hungrily. JJ then kissed down your jawline, then down your neck, and then to your breasts. His mouth latched onto your left nipple as he massaged your right breast with his hand. You let out a moan and gently bit your lip. He then switched now sucking on your right nipple, massaging the left. “mm.. JJ just fuck me already.” You whimpered tugging at his hair.

“Patience Baby Girl..” He said as he kissed down your stomach. He then reached to where you wanted him most. He planted a kiss on your clit. You giggled softly and played with his hair. He then licked up your wet folds. You let out another moan as he began to pump a finger into you while licking your clit. You let out a loud moan and tugged on his hair. “I- mm.. JJ I’m close.” You moaned out.

“Then cum for me baby.” He smirked putting a second finger into you and went back to licking your clit at the same time. You kept moaning out feeling a knot in your stomach. JJ kept fucking you with his fingers faster, he was intent on making you cum right there. You let out one last moan as you released on his fingers, trembling and tugging at his hair. JJ licked your juices off his fingers then put your legs over his shoulders, positioning himself. He decided to tease you a little more first, rubbing the tip of his dick against your folds. “JJ please fuck me already..” You whimpered.

Without a warning JJ thrusted into you easily because of how wet you were. You let out a loud moan and grabbed the sheets. JJ began to pound into you. You kept moaning out and grabbed your breasts squeezing them. JJ grabbed your wrists and pinned them above your head, his eyes now trained on your breasts. He kept hitting your g-spot now making you scream.

“Mm.. you like that baby? Does that feel good?” He asked letting out a moan. You could barely form words, you were a moaning mess at this point and that turned him on more. JJ let go of your wrists and pulled out then flipped you onto your stomach. He slapped your ass hard before thrusting into your entrance again.

“Oh fuck Y/N! You feel so good!” JJ moaned out going faster. “I- fuck JJ!” You moaned out. “I- I’m close..” You gasped out and you grabbed onto the sheets. JJ slapped your ass again, there was now a red handprint on your ass. You moaned louder until you eventually reached your high and came. JJ thrusted into you a few more times before pulling out and releasing his seeds onto your back.

You giggled catching your breath and laid down. JJ laid beside you and held you close as you rested your head on his chest. “Damn.. that was.. so hot.” He said catching his breath. You giggled and bit your lip. “Yeah.. I missed our sex.”

“I’m sorry for getting so jealous over you and John B. It was dumb and childish, he’s your best friend..” JJ said kissing your head. “It’s ok baby..” You smiled and lifted your head up to kiss his cheek. “I love you Y/N.” He said kissing your head. “I love you too JJ.” You smiled holding onto him tightly. Your eyes slowly fluttered shut and you fell asleep in JJ’s arms.

୨୧ Author's Note: thank you so much for reading, angels!

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tallulah477 · 2 months

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Below the cut contains my thoughts and feelings about certain issues that I've seen recently that I feel like need to be addressed including hate/bullying, the new Neteyam & Lo'ak rp blogs, and the general fandom as a whole.

CW:// Mentions of pedophilia, predators, racism, and homophobia

Over the past several months, and especially over these past several days, it's come to my attention that we as a fandom need to make some things abundantly clear.

I was a silent reader for a long time. I love Avatar and this fandom with my entire heart and I wanted nothing more than to be an active part of it and member of the community, but the thing that stopped me for a long time was seeing how hateful people can be and I wasn't sure if I could handle it. Obviously, I decided that my happiness and sharing my love for Avatar and the characters with other people who love it as much as I do is more important than any nasty messages I might get and I couldn't be happier with my decision. I think I can safely say that most of us here in the fandom can say the same (although I'm sure the feeling of happiness comes with endless ebbs and flows for all of us).

That being said, the amount of sheer bullshit that I've been seeing on here is ridiculous.

The amount of hate messages that I've had to witness my mutuals receive is unacceptable. The amount of hounding as to why someone unfollowed this person, why aren't they interacting with this person anymore, why would someone write something like this, why won't you write this, is crazy to see. I've seen racist comments, I've seen homophobic comments, and I've seen people being called a pedophile wayyyy to often now.

This is Tumblr. We are responsible for our own media consumption. We cultivate our own media experience.

That means authors write what they enjoy regardless of content as long as they are responsible and tag the work correctly. You as the reader are responsible for heeding those warnings.

This means that if two people who used to interact or follow each other all of a sudden don't or someone gets blocked, it is no one's business as to why it happened. They don't owe you an explanation and there's no need to publicize drama. Do not go into their inboxes asking for details because all that does is feed the flames.

This is supposed to be people's happy place. Our safe space. And instead it seems like there's something new happening every single day.

At this point, we've all seen the rp blogs that have popped up. I'm not generally someone who enjoys rp so I didn't interact, but I saw a ton of my mutuals and others having a great time with them. Despite me not liking rp, it was exciting to see at first. A live persona of one of my most beloved characters interacting with fics that I love? Yes, it's definitely exciting to see!

But then it got not so exciting to see. The responses seemed solely sexual and out of character for Neteyam, a lot of them were really dark and borderline violent. I like dark fics, and I love dark Neteyam. But there are warnings to every dark fic and you go into them knowing what to expect. For a blog that's rp-ing a character that's not canonically like that, it was concerning to see.

We've had issues in this fandom in the past with predators. And despite us all being adults here (at least we should all be), you can never be too careful when it comes to the internet. I am NOT saying that the people running these blogs are predators, but certain things I've seen have raised some flags to me. Rp can be really dangerous when people don't know who's behind the character, especially if things are sexual. Since then, both blogs have created 'About Me' sections which I think is good. So that's something I appreciate.

However, we've also had the opposite problem in which minors interact with us and our content. It's a huge problem that we are constantly trying to battle because while seeing/reading sexual content can be harmful for those who are underage, it's can also get us into a lot of trouble for interacting with minors even if we don't know they're underage. When the accusation that the rp accounts were minors came out, they were sent asks to confirm. One responded respectfully and one, in my opinion, responded not so respectfully. If you are ever asked if you are a minor, don't get pissed about it. It's an important question and you should understand and respect its importance. Just clarify.

I'm saying all this not because I don't think people should interact with these blogs if you want to. It's 100% up to you and I know a lot of people were having fun with it. You're all adults, do what you think is best. And I do think it would be really nice to have more guys in the community, whether they rp or not. My issue with them is more about safety than anything else.

Now back to the hate comments. For any issues I might have had with the Neteyam blog (again, no hate, just my own thoughts), I only ever saw the Lo'ak blog being respectful. Yet, I still saw someone on their actual blog, not under anon, telling him "can't you just leave?". Under no circumstances is it okay to say this to another person. Any one who is an active member of this community who posts fics or the like KNOWS what its like to receive hateful comments like this and you think its okay to say something like this to someone else? No way. I'm sure you know what it feels like to get comments like that and you decided to be nasty to another person anyway. You should know better. Anyone who can say something mean to or about another person should be ashamed of themselves.

For as much as I love this fandom, this is insane that I actually have to say this.

Be kind. Be respectful.

And if you can't?

It's called the block button, people. Use it.

#𝑻𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒆 𝑻𝒂𝒍𝒌𝒔 ♡

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thirdnap · 5 months

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Hello,

Here is the life update of my past 4 years.

I began this blog many years ago in 2012 when I was only 14 years old, and I then slowly gained the courage to start posting art at 17 when I joined the K fandom. It's wild to think that I am now 25!

I was never quite consistent in posting since I only shared my art here whenever I felt like it, but it slowed down ever so gradually to basically 1 post a year for Yata’s birthday. This blog helped me with my fear of showing my art to others as I was incredibly embarrassed of my work for a really long time.

I soon moved to the USA from my homeland and attended animation school for 1 year, and then studied illustration and visual development for 4 years and I managed to accomplish many things I never could have imagined. I graduated with honors this past May, was selected by the faculty and head of department as my major’s trustee scholar, completed my 84-page art book thesis, got a few pieces into the Society of Illustrators, and my school even shot a mini docu-film about me, my art and my life where I got to share my upbringing. Art school was very demanding and at times tough but I managed to get a lot out of it :)

In July of this year, I moved to California from Florida and I’m much happier than I’ve ever been. I come from a very small country so I never expected to get this far in the art world. I drew Yata for fun in my bedroom whenever I wanted to and now I’m in LA breaking into the animation industry (receiving my first credit too!)

the drawings I share here are a very very small part of the illustrations I make weekly. I wish I could share them with everyone as I’m very proud of them but I enjoy separating my fandom life from my real life a little too much! Surprisingly I am working as a background artist at the moment despite never drawing backgrounds in this blog lol. I think many of you would be surprised at how different my work is from irl!!

It hasn’t always been great, so I don't want to make it seem like it's been all perfect. I’ve had many hard times too and at the moment I am extremely homesick since I haven't returned home in a long time but I think these are needed sacrifices.

However, I'm excited for 2024. I'm looking forward to growing as an artist and my goal is to continue to have fun with art as much as I have right now. I think I’m lucky to have a great support system including my best friend @fuurais who has been by my side for 10+ years and I managed to convert into a K artist too <3

Thank you for the support, for the kind messages, and for the excitement every time I post. I am always happy when I think of this blog and the friends I made. I unironically think about Yata every day as he is past being my comfort character tbh. I am currently writing this with full-on orange hair that I've had for a few years now lol.

I don’t think I’ll be as active as I was at 17 but I will try to not ghost this blog completely. There are a lot of things I haven’t drawn yet that I really want to do and I'd love to share those drawings with everyone.

Lots of love -

Tael <3

#k project #project k #yata misaki #misaki yata

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neowinestainedress · 1 year

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© neowinestaindress; all rights reserved. do NOT repost, modify, or translate any work from this blog on any other platform and claim it as yours. you can find my works on ao3 (neowinestaindress) and wattpad (winestaintedress_; currently inactive).

LONG FICS

rock, paper, scissors ; 11k — johnjaenomin fivesome [s] — five friends rent a house together for a few weeks to enjoy summer like they used to do when they were younger, thinking that nothing could change their friendship. But teasing leads to pent-up tension and tension leads to problems. Problems that can’t be fixed by playing ‘rock, paper, scissors’ like when they were young.

can you handle it? ; 12k — johnjaenomin fivesome part 2 [s] — Johnny drags her wildest fantasies out of her mouth, or to be more precise, out of her phone. But can she handle it?

rose-colored glasses ; 18k — requested | bet!au [a] [s] — a long-lasting crush for her brother’s best friend, a bet, obsession, devotion and jealousy; all things that cannot lead to anything good. But the world that Jeno showed her was perfect and she couldn’t see what it really hid behind the rose-colored glasses. It was all distorted.

shattered glasses ; 28k — rose-colored glasses sequel | yandere [s] [f] [a] — there’s only one way to survive in a cage made of rose-colored glasses: don’t shatter the glasses, reality will be painful to accept.

10 things I love about you ; 3k — requested | [f] [a] — she feels like Jeno’s only dating her for sex, and he proves to her how much he loves her by telling her ten of the things he loves about her the most (spoiler: they are more than ten).

wrapped around your fingers ; 8k — requested | CEO!au [s] [f] — Jeno finds out he has his girlfriend wrapped around his fingers... well, in a way he doesn’t quite expect.

drippin’ ; 18k — requested | x reader | haemarknomin fivesome [s] — you need relief from this strange pain you’re feeling, but you don’t know what to do. Your boyfriend and his friends offer to help, giving you a solution you didn’t quite expect coming.

into the woods ; 11k — inferno event | werewolves (feat kun, jaehyun, johnny, yangyang) [s] — ‘don’t go in the woods, past the first two rows of trees.’ It’s a simple rule, planted in every kid’s mind in the village since they are born. Nobody knows why, but nobody dares to question why. But pride leads to do dangerous things and what’s supposed to be a silly bet to prove something, gets you lost a bit too far into the scary forest. And those who seem to be polite strangers turn out to be something they’re not.

sweet lies ; 7k — inferno event | ghost [s] — you find out what’s the weird sensation that’s been torturing you for years, but just when you think things start to make sense, he confuses you even more. Are you really who he thinks you are?

sweet deception ; 19k — inferno event | x reader | various monsters, multiple members [s] — on Halloween, nothing is as it seems. You end up in a room with six guys thinking they have amazing costumes only to be struck by reality when it’s too late; those are not costumes at all. But remember, on October 31, nothing is as it seems.

enough for you ; 5k — requested | traitor sequel + haechan [a] [f] — all she ever wanted was to be enough for Haechan, even now that they aren’t together anymore. Until someone opens her eyes and makes her realize that she is already enough the way she is.

happier ; 20k — requested | enough for you sequel + haechan [a] [f] [s] — Haechan can’t live with the weight of losing her forever, he can live even less with the fear that she might be happier with Jeno. He wonders if he’s still in time to fix what he tore apart or if he’ll have to pay the price for what he did forever.

wait for me ; 6k — gift | sequel | x reader [s] — jeno keeps his promise of turning you into a mess under him

secret ; 10k — gift | sub!jeno | x reader [s][f] — jeno has a secret he can’t tell anybody, not even you

do you want to play a game, detective? ; 10k — ghostface/scream!au [s] — in these past months your only goal is to find the killer that is terrorizing the town of Woodsboro, but when you get close to him and feel like you finally have the upper hand, Ghostface turns the game around again. Or, Ghostface wants to play with you but not like he does with his victims, and you let him.

SERIES

SOUR — COMPLETED distorted — COMPLETED

DRABBLES

nipple sucking— requested | x reader [s]

phone sex + innocence kink — requested | x reader [s]

villain!jeno + rough anal sex — requested | x reader [s]

shibari + hard!dom + toys — requested | x reader [s]

vampire!jeno x human!reader + sweet love making — requested | x reader [s]

game over — gamer!haechan + mark, jeno, jaemin | requested | x reader [s]

insecure reader — requested | x reader [f]

insecure jeno — requested | x reader [f]

fingers sucking — requested | x reader [s]

sub!jeno — requested | x reader [s] (it's more like a blurb but longer)

subspace — requested | x reader [s]

BLURBS / HARD HOURS

nominhyuck humiliation + filming [s]

nominhyuck humiliation [s]

#nct fanfiction #jeno masterlist #jeno smut #jeno fluff #jeno angst

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afewproblems · 1 year

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Part Four: Final Part Four Mean!Eddie Misunderstandings Au

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Read in full on Ao3

Thank you to everyone that cheered me on @samcoxramblings for your kind words on every post! @flowercrowngods and @barbariansteves for your helpful advice and @zerokrox-blog for your original prompt waaaaay back in February, I'm sorry this took so long but I hope you finally get the comfort you wished for!

***

The kids demand two weeks to prepare for their Hellfire session, insisting that they need this time to debrief Eddie and come up with their game plan, which is fine by Steve.

It also gives him two weeks to decompress from his last interaction with the kid's Dungeon Master, and time to try and untangle exactly how he feels about the whole situation.

It was nice for things to start moving back towards something resembling normal. The kids seemed happier, even going so far as to begin splitting their time between Eddie and Steve once again. Asking for rides to the hobby shop in Indi from their resident metal-head rather than Steve. It was nice to finally have a little bit more time to himself again.

Even Robin, who had previously been steadfast in her Anti-Eddie stance, had suddenly grown rather tight-lipped about the whole thing.

She had even offered to accompany Steve on his errands for the day they scheduled their Hellfire meeting, citing that she was always up for a grocery run and he may need help bringing everything in.

Which, in hindsight, should have been Steve’s first clue that something strange was going on.

“So, you ready?” Robin hums as they walk up and down the canned food aisle of Marsh Market, “you can still back out you know?”

Steve smiles and grabs a box of onion soup mix, he’s fairly certain he has some sour cream at home to make a dip of some sort, much easier than the last snack he tried to prepare for the group.

“Yeah, Robs, I know, I think it should be fine,” he crosses off the soup mix on his list and turns the cart around the empty aisle to head towards the produce section, “the kids are already setting up now so the only thing I need to do is be there,” he shrugs and stops in front of the humming displays.

Steve waits until the misting stops before reaching for a bag of mini carrots and tossing them into the cart.

“Can’t believe you trust Henderson to have a key, I can’t believe you hold us at the same level of trust!” Robin grumbles under her breath as she picks up a granny smith from one of the bins and rubs it on the rolled up sleeves of her navy blazer; it’s just slightly too big for her, most likely stolen from her dad’s closet.

Steve rolls his eyes and continues pushing the cart around the produce area, "careful Birdy, you roll those up anymore you're actually going to turn into Don Johnson".

"I should be so lucky," she snarks back as she catches up to him by the celery.

She tosses the apple back and forth between her hands, nearly dropping it twice before placing the produce into the cart under Steve’s unimpressed gaze.

She starts snapping her fingers and shuffling her feet as they continue walking up and down the aisles, going through their list bit by bit. Steve finds himself watching his friend’s nervous fidgeting with curious eyes, it was just a grocery trip, there shouldn’t be anything to really make her act like this, right?

He takes a quick glance around at some of the employees stocking the aisles, in case Vickie or some other pretty classmate of Robin’s is wandering around.

But, they’re alone.

“Are you sure you don’t need anything else?” Robin asks, as Steve folds up the list and turns the cart towards the check out tills.

She tips the small watch she’s wearing up to her face, her eyes flit back and forth between Steve and the watch as she chews on her bottom lip, which is more than a little odd.

The kids are already at the house and Eddie and the rest of the Hellfire gang won’t be arriving for at least another hour, they have plenty of time?

Robin steps away from the cart and throws her thumb over her shoulder at the chip aisle, “you do realize that you’re going to have like ten teenagers at your house right? You think veggies and dip is enough?”

“I’m ordering pizza later, I think this is fine?” Steve says slowly, gesturing at the cart, confusion and suspicion saturate his words as his eyes narrow at his friend.

“Robin,” Steve murmurs, walking the cart closer towards her, “what's going on?”

“Nothing, why would you --nothing!” She stutters as her freckled face pales slightly.

Steve smirks, Robin is probably the worst liar he’s ever met, and it's always endearing whenever she tries.

The last time she had lied to Steve, it had been about the mascara wand she had dropped onto the passenger seat, staining the leather just slightly, and smearing the black makeup all over the floor covers.

Robin had panicked and insisted that had been there before she had sat down.

Steve had been sitting in the car with her at the time.

He knew a Robin lie when he saw it, but he also knew it wouldn’t take long for her to crack.

“Okay!”

There it is.

“Listen,” Robin hisses sharply, she steps closer until she’s nearly whispering in his ear in the empty chip aisle, “I’m stalling you okay?”

“Probably not something you should be telling the person you’re stalling but okay?” Steve snorts as he leans onto the cart handle, “also, this was the worst place to go to stall us, it's two in the afternoon on a Wednesday, no one else is here”.

“I know!” Robin groans, letting her face fall into her open hands, she slowly lifts her face once more and lets her fingers drag across her forehead and cheeks, pulling at the skin, “I should have said no, I wanted to say no, but they used Will--”

Steve nods, “and you can’t say no to Will, yeah I gotcha”.

The words register after a beat.

“Wait, backup, the kids put you up to this? The unsupervised shitheads in my house right now?”

Robin nods, her blue eyes wide and the barest of smirks still covered by her hands.

“Oh christ,” Steve mutters under his breath, “do I even want to know?”

Robin drops her hands away from her face and scowls for a second before sighing, “I would absolutely love to tell you,” she shakes her head and looks up at the ceiling, “better yet, I’d love to just take you to Indi for the day, forget about this completely, but those God Damn kids know exactly what to say,” she looks at him once more in barely concealed exasperation, “how do they always know what to say?”

“How angry do I need to be, on a scale of like one to ten?”

Robin stares at him consideringly, her eyes scanning his face, “I mean, if I were you, it would be at like, a hundred,” she says eventually, “but since it’s you?”

“Maybe a four”.

Steve nods and drums his hands on the cart handles, blowing out a long slow breath as he makes his decision, “how much more time do they need?”

Robin looks at her watch again and smiles this time, “Well this bought them another five-ish minutes, so maybe another half hour?”

She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a crumpled five dollar bill, “come on, I’ll getcha a coffee or something?”

“Wait, do I even need these snacks? Robin?”

Robin was wrong, this at least warranted a five for the groceries alone.

***

The drive back is uneventful, Steve did end up going though check out, rationalizing that, no matter what, he needed some veggies for the rest of the week so there were worse things he could have spent the money on.

Robin had bought him a coffee from the gas station down the road. There wasn't enough creamer in the world to make that palatable so he leaves it in the cup holder while driving back. Even with a hot chocolate Robin hasn't fared much better.

"Okay, well that's the worst five dollars ever spent," she groans after taking a sip. Robin wrinkles her nose and sets the cup in the other empty holder beside Steve’s before sneaking a quick look at her watch once more, “worth it though,” she says with a small smile.

It slides off her face after a moment when she realizes that they’ve turned down her street, “Steve?”

He looks between her and the road, tilting his head as she touches his elbow gently.

“You can just come over you know, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to and that includes letting people force you to--” Robin snaps her mouth shut with an audible click of her teeth.

She shakes her head and takes her hand back, “sorry, I promised not to say anything”.

Steve pulls over onto the Buckley’s driveway and finally turns to face Robin as much as the driver's seat will allow.

“Still sure about this whole thing only warranting a four?” he asks softly as a bubble of anxiety begins to expand from his stomach and into his chest, as though he’s absorbed her nervous energy over the course of the afternoon.

Robin shrugs, “I don’t know, but,” her blue eyes bounce back and forth between his own, “just don’t let them make you make a decision you’re not ready for,” she chews her lip again, “no one gets to push you around but me”.

Steve laughs as Robin leans out of her seat to give him a quick, but firm, hug before she opens the door and steps outside. As soon as she’s out of the car, Steve wishes he had asked her to stay, to come with him and hold his hand through the unknown. The bereft, hollow feeling from before returns in full force as she walks up to her front door.

She turns around and holds up her thumb and pinky as she lifts her hands to her face, mouthing, ‘Call me later,’ as she waves with her other hand.

She stays outside as Steve slowly reverses, hesitating on the street for just a moment as Robin walks backwards the rest of the way to her door, she moves her hands, motioning for him to get going.

Steve nods once and takes a deep breath as he shifts into drive and heads down the street.

It’s just the kids, he tells himself, how bad can it be?

***

By the time Steve pulls into his driveway, he’s nearly turned around to retrieve Robin and insist that she come with him at least five times. Even now as he pulls the emergency brake for the slight incline of the Harrington driveway, he considers starting the car again and leaving.

The last time he felt this anxious to be home was after graduation, after he’d been rejected from every school he’d applied to and knew there was no getting around that conversation with his dad.

That conversation had ended with the crack in the table, a hastily completed Scoops application, and his parents leaving for three months.

If it hadn’t happened he wouldn’t have met Robin, so at least there had been a silver lining on that occasion.

He’s not sure if there will be one this time.

Steve gets out of the car before opening the back door to grab the paper grocery bag from the store, he leaves the full coffee and hot chocolate cups with a grimace and makes a mental note to throw them out later before locking the car door.

Steve slowly makes his way to the steps, balancing the bag on his hip as he rifles through his pants pocket for his house key.

He looks around the street and spots Eddie’s van parked a few houses down. Great.

Steve knew that Eddie and the others would be showing up around now, even before Robin went ahead and spilled the beans about whatever it was the kids were secretly doing, but he had still hoped for a moment to just breathe before he had to face the inevitable.

Steve takes a deep breath and grabs the door handle, scoffing as it opens immediately. He makes a second mental note to scold Dustin for leaving the door unlocked for just anyone to come in --especially since the rest of Hellfire was already here apparently.

“Hey assholes, the snacks are here,” Steve calls out as he steps over the threshold, tossing his own keys into the dish on the side table.

He kicks the door closed and locks the deadbolt with a roll of his eyes, “and I do include myself with that statement,” he adds under his breath with a smirk.

Steve slides off his shoes and pauses, looking around the foyer.

It’s quiet.

Where there is normally an abundance of yelling and laughter, of the kids arguing amongst themselves, or Eddie’s usual dramatic storytelling, there’s nothing.

Steve walks into the kitchen and puts the bag onto the counter, “guys?” he calls out again, only to be met with silence.

Steve makes his way into the dining room through the swing door and stops in his tracks.

The table is gone.

“What the fuck?” he hears himself whisper as he walks into the middle of the space, nearly into the hanging light in the center of the room --he’d never noticed just how low it was, what with the table that was normally there to stop him from walking directly into it.

“What the fuck?” Steve hisses again, his heart starts to race as he steps around the light and spots the open sliding door to the backyard.

“If you little fuckers decided to move my grandmother’s table when there is a perfectly good patio table out there, I swear to Christ--”

But the kids aren’t outside either.

Eddie freezes as Steve walks around the corner of the house, he’s standing next to the dining table with a piece of sandpaper in his hands.

“Steve,” Eddie squawks in surprise, quickly hiding the sandpaper behind his back, “hey!”

Steve’s not entirely sure just what he’s looking at as he takes another step further into the yard. Eddie’s normally black ripped jeans are covered in a fine layer of dust, his wild curls have been pulled back into a messy ponytail away from his face, and an open container of wood filler sits beside him on the concrete patio.

Steve takes another four steps until he’s close enough to touch the wooden surface, his mouth hanging open as he takes it all in.

The surface of the table has been sanded down in its entirety, removing the beautiful deep cherry varnish, but the crack in the center has been mended, some kind of slightly darker putty has sealed the gaping wound that had marred the surface.

“Can you,” Eddie’s voice shakes, drawing Steve’s attention once more, “can you please say something, I can’t tell if you’re mad or what?”

“You fixed it,” Steve whispers, his eyes fixed on the table, he reaches to run a shaking hand over the surface.

“Careful,” Eddie says softly, grabbing Steve’s hand before it can touch the center with long sure fingers, “that still needs about an hour or so to cure”.

Steve looks from the table to his hand, still cradled in Eddie’s own, before looking up to see two big brown eyes staring into his own.

“I don’t understand,” the words come out in a whisper as Steve swallows around the sudden lump in his throat, “why?”

“Well,” Eddie murmurs as he squeezes Steve’s hand once before threading their fingers together and dragging Steve towards one of the pool loungers in the grass.

Eddie sits down and pulls Steve with him to sit, he feels a deep flush begin to wash over his neck and the tips of his ears, it's impossible to hide in the bright sunlight this time --not that he’d even be able to with Eddie’s firm grip on Steve’s hand.

“Those kids of yours are pretty genius,” Eddie says slowly, deliberately, his gaze never wavering from Steve’s face, “and they love you so fucking much man”.

Eddie clears his throat and rubs his thumb over Steve’s knuckles, “and there seems to be some confusion about how I actually feel about you, so allow me to uh, lay it all on the,” he gestures with his free hand towards the dining table and smirks, “well you know”.

Steve feels his heart leaping out of his chest, he can’t sit here, listen to this, he’s heard it before, it isn’t real.

Steve moves to stand up from the lounger but Eddie is faster as he manages to grab Steve’s other hand, holding him in place.

“Eddie--”

“You said no one had ever bothered before,” Eddie barrels on, speaking so quickly that Steve hardly understands at first. He squeezes Steve’s hands lightly again, the skin warmed metal from Eddie’s rings press into the palms of Steve’s hands.

“No one’s ever tried to fix it, have they?” Eddie breathes out as his eyes flit back and forth, searching Steve’s own, “would you let me try?”

For a moment, Steve lets himself just sit with the words.

Lets himself indulge in the soft, almost reverent way that Eddie asks. He lets the warmth of Eddie’s hands tether him to something resembling hope.

Before he shakes his head.

“You don’t know what you’re saying Eddie,” Steve growls, but the words lack any true bite.

“I know exactly what I’m saying,” Eddie insists, he gets up from beside Steve and kneels in the grass in front of him, “but I don’t think you do, I think we’ve been talking past each recently Steve, and it took speaking to a bunch of people --way smarter than me, to realize it. So here it is--”

“Don’t,” Steve shouts at the same time that Eddie whispers, “I like you,” and for a moment neither moves.

Steve slowly takes his hands out of Eddie's now slack grip.

He lowers one hand down to the edge of the pool lounger, gripping it so harshly that his knuckles slowly fade to white, while the other he brings up to cover Eddie’s mouth.

“Don’t say something you can’t take back,” Steve says softly.

Eddie just stares for a beat, his forehead pinched in a terrible frown, before he reaches up to cup Steve’s cheek and gently removes the hand covering his mouth. He smiles softly and lets his thumb gently run over the crest of Steve’s cheekbone.

“Good thing I don’t want to take it back,” Eddie insists, he slides the hand on Steve’s cheek down to hold his chin firmly between two fingers.

“Steve,” Eddie lifts himself up so he’s balancing on the balls of his feet, just high enough that they are at eye level now, “I spent a very long time holding onto things that weren’t even remotely true, and they made me act like an asshole, I can’t tell you how sorry I am for that sweetheart”.

“What if you change your mind, what if I--”

“Steve, what the fuck could you do at this point that would shock me?" Eddie says with a derisive laugh, he lets go of Steve's face to press his hand briefly to his own chest.

"I’m a drug dealing, satan worshiping, murderer who almost ate it in another dimension from killer demon bats".

Eddie grins as he peppers his speech with air quotes but the edges of it are jagged, and the good humour doesn't quite reach his eyes.

Steve breathes out sharply through his nose and shakes his head, “I get angry sometimes, I say things I don't mean, I…"

He sees himself surrounded by ceramic shards again, crying as he sweeps up his own mess, and shudders.

It's enough for Eddie to nod, and shuffle closer still.

"Pot," Eddie says softly as he pokes Steve in the sternum with this pointer finger and then brings it around to point at his own face, "kettle".

Steve chews his bottom lip as his thoughts swirl together and fly apart, disjointed and frenetic, "I just," he swallows around a harsh lump that begins to form in his throat, "I don't want you to think that I'm something that I'm not”.

Steve closes his eyes, missing the way that Eddie freezes at the words, but he can’t stop now --he has to get this all out or he’ll never be able to.

"That I've changed, that I'm this thing you've built up, for your sake, because let me tell you, it's pretty heartbreaking when everything you hoped was real turns out to be all in your head".

Steve opens his eyes as Eddie makes a sound like he’s been punched in the gut.

He’s still kneeling in front of Steve, even closer now, almost close enough that Steve can count the light dusting of freckles on his nose, and it feels like his heart will burst at any moment.

Fuck it.

"I've been halfway in love with you since you woke up from the hospital," Steve blurts out, “only to find out that you didn't feel even remotely the same about me, this whole time,” he breathes in shallowly as Eddie pales.

"I don't think I could take it if that happened again Eds,” Steve continues as he drops his gaze to his knees, “I think it would crush me".

"That's why I don't want you to say something you can't take--"

The words die on his lips as Eddie grabs his face and kisses him.

It’s harsh and clumsy, their teeth clack as Eddie loses his balance, pushing himself into Steve. They fall over the lounger, Steve’s shoulders and lower back hit the metal frame hard, forcing a muffled groan out as Eddie falls on top of him with his own faint, ‘oof’.

Eddie tries to raise himself up by his hands before falling even further as one of his hands slips through the rubber slats of the chair and he crashes into Steve's stomach.

Eddie babbles a string of incomprehensible apologies as he frees his trapped hand and manages to gently straddle Steve. Eddie hovers over him and lifts his hands to cup Steve's face.

“Shit baby, are you okay? Fuck, that’s not how I wanted that to go at all, I’m so shit at this”.

“Can we, can you get off and then we can get off the stupid chair?” Steve wheezes as he tries to catch his breath and shift his weight away from the metal still pressed into his back, “lets go inside, we can..talk about this”.

Eddie curses under his breath, his expression nervous, and moves his legs off of Steve and the chair before holding a hand out to help Steve to his feet.

Steve rubs his back as he leads the pair back inside through the sliding glass door, not daring to turn around and face Eddie.

He feels his own mortified flush spread across his chest and neck and winces; this is probably the most he’s blushed in years all in the span of a single afternoon.

He kissed me, he kissed me, he kissed me, plays on a seemingly endless loop in Steve’s head as he walks into the house, he can’t help the wide smile that blooms over his face --despite the other, darker thought that whispers in his ear, be careful, be careful, be careful.

Steve takes them through the empty dining room and into the living room before dropping onto the couch with another low groan. He looks up as he realizes that Eddie is no longer beside him.

Eddie stands in the entryway to the living room, he’s holding a thick handful of hair over his mouth and watching Steve carefully.

“Can’t talk with you all the way over there,” Steve huffs.

He tries for a smile but the effect is lost as Eddie continues to stand and stare at him, looking as though he could bolt from the house at any moment.

“Please come here Eds,” Steve tries again, his voice small. He takes a deep breath, if Eddie can be brave so can you, he thinks as he holds out his hand.

Eddie hesitates for just a moment more, his eyes flick beyond Steve to the hallway linked to the foyer and back, it’s so quick Steve nearly misses it.

Still, he keeps his hand steady, holding it aloft.

Eventually Eddie takes a tentative step, then another, slowly moving forward until his fingers brush Steve’s own. He takes a seat next to Steve on the plush gray couch but doesn’t relax as Steve turns his body to face him. Eddie tenses even further as Steve gives his hand a gentle squeeze.

He opens his mouth to start but Eddie beats him to it.

“I’m so sorry Steve,” Eddie whispers, his voice strained and thin as he takes his hand back, “I just fucking attacked you? Jesus, I," he cuts himself off, whatever he had been about to say trapped behind the teeth that dig into his bottom lip.

"I mean," Steve mumbles, hating the hunched line of Eddie's shoulders, "I tell you I've been in love with you for months and you kiss me, that makes sense to me?"

"Stop doing that," Eddie bites out as he stands up, slapping his hands on his knees to launch himself away from the couch.

He paces the living room, not looking at Steve and getting progressively more agitated as he walks.

"I apologize and then you turn it around on yourself, why do you do that? Just let me apologize!"

Eddie halts suddenly as he straightens and faces Steve, it's as though a lightbulb has blinked on in the ether as Eddie speaks his next words slowly and carefully, "stop letting me off the hook Steve, be honest with me".

"I have been honest with you," Steve tries but Eddie shakes his head.

"Nope, you've told me some of your stuff today, but not why you keep downplaying everything, why you're not just telling me you're upset, it's like you're censoring the stuff you think I don't want to hear, come on”.

"My stuff," Steve mutters under his breath as a hot flicker of irritation licks at his ribcage.

"Yes," Eddie says, throwing his hands into his hair in frustration.

"Everybody censors themselves Eddie, you think I tell the kids everything? That I've told Robin everything?"

At this Eddie blanches, surprise etched over his forehead as his eyebrows climb into his wispy bangs.

"But Robin--"

"Knows enough, but not everything,"Steve scoffs as he crosses his arms over his stomach, "and she doesn't need to".

Robin may know his parents are hardly around, she may have formed her own opinions, assumptions about what she thinks is going on; but Steve has gotten very good at hiding these things -especially over the years.

Pulling out the King Steve persona, make them laugh, make them mad, watch this hand while the other pulls the wool over their eyes.

"Then tell me," Eddie says softly, but there is a challenge to his words.

He shifts his stance slightly, putting more weight on his left leg as he cocks his hip out to the side, "shock me Harrington".

Steve shifts on the couch, feeling pinned under Eddie's gaze, before swiping a tired hand over his face and dropping it into his lap.

"That crack in the table happened just before I graduated," Steve says softly, his head tipped down so the words tumble into his knees.

He ignores the sharp intake of breath from Eddie, not daring to look up as he continues, "my uh, my dad opened the rejection letter from Vincennes, that one had just been delivered that morning I think".

Steve breathes out slowly and picks at a hangnail on his left thumb, he hasn't ever spoken about this to anyone, he's never really managed to talk about his home life growing up without side stepping things.

There had been moments where Steve thinks Tommy and Carol might have had their suspicions, but they never asked and Steve wasn't in a position to talk about it.

"I think that was at the beginning of June, so, so his logical conclusion was to uh, go looking for the other letters, the ones I must have received already".

Steve barks out a laugh, but the sound rings out hollow in the large living room, he startles slightly as the couch dips down next to him as Eddie sits, close enough that his knees are brushing Steve's own.

He doesn't say anything, but it's enough for Steve to breathe out and keep going.

"And he found them, my dad, in the shoebox I kept in the back of my closet".

"I don't know why I had even kept them," Steve shakes his head, "I should have thrown them away".

Steve absently traces a faint white line across his temple, staring past his knees into the patterns of the ornate area rug, "I got home from school and he had the letters waiting for me".

"He laid them all out on the dining table," Steve sweeps his hands out, setting the scene in his head, "like you see in those detective movies right? He just needed some string to connect them all to me".

Steve shivers and closes his eyes, the words still echoing fresh in his mind, the hot spittle that hit his face as his father cornered him against the wall still makes him flinch if he thinks about it too hard.

"He asked when I was planning to tell him about the rejections, and I couldn't give him an answer," he reaches up and pinches his nose, just once, blinking a few times as he wills away the gathering moisture.

"I didn't raise you to be this way Steven, like some fucking ungrateful coward --look at me when I'm God Damn talking to you!" Richard seethes as he slams the flat of his palm into the center of the table, his Harvard class ring splitting the wood as it connects with a loud crack.

Richard doesn't look down, his hand slides to one of the letters, snatching it from the surface as he steps around the table, towards Steve, in three sure strides. He backs his son towards the wall, looming over Steve as he shoves the paper into his face in one hand while the other grips the collar of Steve's T-Shirt.

"What will people think, huh, our only son didn't get into college, Hagan got in for chrissakes," his dad shakes him once, forcing Steve's head to connect with the wall, "what am I supposed to tell people Steven, what are we going to tell your poor mother?"

"I thought that Wheeler girl was supposed to be smart, tutor you or something," Richard scoffs as he finally lets go of Steve's shirt collar, "or did she finally come to her senses?"

Steve sneers before he can stop himself, "I didn't think you were even around enough to see that dad--"

The blow comes swiftly, catching him across the temple, his father's class ring comes out to play once again as a hot burst of pain blooms across the entire left side of his face from the backhand.

"Don't you ever speak to me that way again, you want to be a big man Steven? Just see what happens".

Steve blinks once, coming back to himself, "my dad, um, he has a problem with anger, with uh, expressing it I guess".

"But that isn't what this is about," Steve whispers, and this time he can't keep the wobble from his voice as he speaks.

"I'm afraid, I'm just like him, that I could do what he did if I got upset enough, and you," he breathes out sharply but the sounds more like a sob than anything else, "you want me to be honest?"

Steve finally lifts his eyes up to meet Eddie's own. Eddie, who looks as though he wants to melt into the floor, his shoulders tense and his own eyes seem suspiciously shiny as they stare back at Steve.

"Why couldn't you be honest with me, huh?" Steve whispers, "from the beginning?"

A tear breaks the surface, tracing down Steve's cheek. He manages to catch it roughly with the back of his hand before reaching up to press the heels of both his hands into his eyes --as though the pressure could stop the building deluge he knows is inevitable.

"I was so angry with you when you told me that you hadn't meant what you said in the Upside Down," Steve manages to speak through the tightening of his throat as he drops his hands back down into his lap, "that I smashed a plate in my kitchen after you left, I don't, I don't know what happened".

His breath quickens suddenly and every other word comes out as a gasp, "but it's like my worst fucking fears h-have come true and I don't, I don't know what to do, I don't, I--"

"Oh sweetheart," Eddie says softly as he reaches for Steve, pulling him into his arms with gentle fingers, "oh, I gotcha".

Steve lets himself be moved, for his head to be tipped into the crook of Eddie's neck and his body tucked into Eddie's chest.

Steve tries to slow down his breathing, to stop the shuddering of his chest as he fights the tears.

"It's okay," Eddie tries but Steve shakes his head.

"It's not," he bites out, the words taper off into a whine, "it's not--"

"Okay, you're right, it's not," Eddie says so softly Steve nearly misses it.

"I'm so, so, sorry Steve," Eddie murmurs into Steve's hair, holding him tighter as Steve finally gives in and lets himself cry.

He's not sure how long they sit for, eventually Steve feels a steady hand card through his hair while the other strokes down his arms, he feels the tension in his shoulders begin to melt away and the tears slow to a gentle trickle.

"I'm an idiot," Eddie huffs out, the breath flutters Steve's hair, making him twitch at the sensation.

Steve reaches up and wipes at his face with tired hands. The skin feels warm to the touch and puffy around his eyes and his nose which refuses to stop running, he must look like an absolute sight right now, he thinks to himself with a grimace.

"You're not an idiot," he manages to croak, but Eddie's already shaking his head sharply, turning himself to look at Steve.

"Oh believe me, I've fucked up before, pretty spectacularly, but this takes the goddamn cake sweetheart".

"And you're right," Eddie says slowly, carefully, "I shouldn't be harping on about you hiding how you feel when I'm the reason why we're in this mess".

Eddie chews his bottom lip, worrying it between his teeth before pulling away from Steve entirely as he reaches up to cup Steve's face between his hands.

"I'm sorry for not being honest with you Stevie, and I will spend every day trying to make it up to you if you let me?"

Steve looks at Eddie, really looks at him.

He takes in the drooped curve of his shoulders, the subtle pink of the tip of his nose and the glassy sheen in his brown eyes. The way his chest has stopped rising and he drops his hands away from Steve the longer he openly stares at the metal-head, the way Eddie anxiously spins and spins and spins the rings on his hands the longer he waits.

It’s an easy decision to reach out and place his own hand on Eddies own, to halt the frantic movements with a gentle squeeze.

“So,” Steve says, grinning as Eddie finally looks up at him once more, "on a scale of helping to chauffeur the kids to finishing fixing the table, what kind of making it up to me are we talking about?"

The smile Eddie gives him is nearly blinding as he launches himself at Steve, gathering him up in his arms. His hair smells like sawdust and there's the barest hint of some kind of cologne that Steve can't place.

Eddie leans back into the couch cushions, laughingly wetly and taking Steve with him. The sound makes his chest ache as Steve realizes just how much he’s missed Eddie’s laughter. He buries his face in Eddie's neck as they cuddle into one another, letting themselves sit with nothing but the sound of the occasional car driving down the street outside or the humming of grasshoppers through the screen door to the backyard.

"For what it's worth," Eddie huffs, breaking the quiet, a hint of dimples revealing themselves as he smiles, "I've never met the guy, but from the sounds of it, you are the farthest thing from being like 'Ol Dick Harrington".

Steve says nothing but feels something in his chest finally unclench for the first time in weeks.

"Besides, there's nothing like a good plate smash every now and again Stevie," Eddie hums as he runs his thumb over the crest of Steve's cheekbone again.

"That's what Robin said," Steve mumbles, as he leans further into Eddie with a smile, "she came over that night, after".

"A wise and terrifying woman," Eddie says sagely, "who I hope to never piss off again".

He stops suddenly and looks up at Steve, a nervous pinch to his brow as he plays with a loose curl hanging in front of his face, "I'm glad you guys have each other," Eddie says slowly, letting his thumb stroke Steve's hand absently, "that you have people in your corner and--”

Eddie swallows, his eyes darting back and forth between Steve's eyes as he finally seems to steel himself.

"I hope you'll let me be one of those people".

This nervous, quiet Eddie, is so strange to take in, but then again Steve's also never been on the receiving end of so many apologies all at once, it's just shy of being overwhelming at this point.

"Oh come off it Eddie," Steve huffs with a roll of his eyes, "you had me the moment I saw that fucking table outside and you tried to hide the sandpaper behind your back --real smooth by the way".

The way Eddie stares at him in surprise and that same look of awe from before, tells Steve that was the right thing to say.

Eddie barks out a wet laugh and squeezes him tighter, tipping his face to nuzzle Steve's ear, "I missed you teasing me".

"That was the worst part about all of this," he shudders once and drops his head to Steve's shoulder, "I thought I lost my friend, but I have you back".

"Yeah, you have me Eds," Steve says softly.

Steve rests against Eddie, uncaring that the position is growing more uncomfortable as the arm tucked closest to the metal-head falls asleep. Eddie holds him with such gentle reverence that Steve feels as though he may just burst from happiness at any moment.

Everything he's wanted for months, has finally fallen into place.

It's quiet for another moment. Steve plays with one of Eddie's hands, running his fingers over the calluses from playing guitar and the eclectic rings decorating his knuckles.

Eddie clears his throat after a beat, swallowing once, “so uh, earlier….that wasn’t exactly how I pictured our first kiss you know?"

Steve feels a small grin slowly bloom, he's not quite facing Eddie the way they're sitting, so he can play coy a little longer.

“You’ve pictured it huh?”

Eddie snorts “Oh yeah, you have no idea, there’s usually more tongue involved and less chipped teeth”.

Steve nods, letting them sit for a moment longer, letting himself be chased for once.

Eddie pulls back slightly, leaving his arms loosely wrapped around Steve, “think we could uh, try again?”

“Will you mean it as much as you did the first time?” Steve says with a smile as he rubs his lip with his thumb and flushed cheeks.

“You liked that huh, always knew you were a freak like me Harrington,” Eddie barks out, his eyes shining with mirth as he leans closer to run the tip of his nose down Steve's before nuzzling them together, "wanna make some good memories in this house Stevie?"

“Only if you’re with me Eds,” Steve whispers against Eddie’s lips as he slowly leans in.

Steve’s heart races, anticipation flooding his veins and filling his chest with a giddy realization that he finally, finally, gets to have this.

That he knows Eddie finally, finally, feels the same way.

He’ll call Robin later, let her know about Hellfire’s plan, the apology, and maybe even the truth about everything he’d kept hidden away for so long. The old hurts soothed and the lid of the box in his mind permanently open now, the lid wrenched off its hinges so as to never close again. Maybe he could let people in, to let them know him.

For now, Steve lets himself be lowered onto the couch, lets Eddie's hands roam freely, over Steve's shoulders, his neck --letting his fingers gently brush the long scar from the Demobat tail, before lifting one hand to cup his cheek while the other climbs into Steve hair, threading his fingers through it and giving the locks an experimental tug.

Steve's hands make their way up Eddie's back, under his shirt, tracing over the raised scars on his sides. Eddie shoots Steve a wicked grin, his eyes crinkle at the sides as he lets his weight gently fall over Steve, catching himself with his hands on the couch cushions on either side of Steve's face, effectively caging him in.

Eddie moves slowly, deliberately, it's not nearly as brutal as the first time but Eddie kisses like a wildman starved, licking into Steve's mouth and grazing his bottom lip with harsh teeth.

It feels like Steve is being consumed, slowly, carefully.

It's overwhelming in the best way. The feeling of his soft lips against Steve’s own, the harsh stubble that rubs against Steve’s chin. The smell of weed, and sawdust, and cologne invades his nose.

Eddie pulls back briefly before leaning down again to place a soft kiss against Steve’s lips.

“How's that for a second kiss?” he asks with a raised eyebrow and a wide smirk pulling at his slightly puffy lips.

Steve scoffs and tugs at Eddie’s shirt collar, “I dunno, maybe we need to check again?”

Eddie’s laughter rings out loud and long in the Harrington living room, as he leans down again and hugs Steve tightly.

For the first time in a long time, Steve feels himself relax.

He lets the weight of Eddie press him into the cushions and releases a long contented breath, the Harrington house, finally feeling warmer than it has in a long time.

I hope you all enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed working on it! This was the first fic of this length that I was still actively writing as I was updating that I've actually completed and I'm pretty damn happy about that! I was so worried about abandoning this guy and I'm glad I was able to finish it, hopefully it has come to a satisfying conclusion <3

Taglist: @zerokrox-blog @samcoxramblings @thosemessyvibes @liketheocean @vampireinthesun @themostunoriginalpersonever @merricatty @hyperfixationgoddess @hippieg1rl420 @mysticcrownshipper @estrellami-1 @clumsiluni @messrs-weasley @the-obsessed-nerdist

#platonic stobin #mean!eddie wip #finally finished this big boy #eddie munson has a bad dad #protective wayne munson #the party #will byers can and will weaponize those eyes of his #I broke my promise about how long this would take #angst with a happy ending #steddie #getting together #afewproblems writes #afewproblemswrites #steve harrington has a bad dad #implied referenced child abuse both verbal and physical #its only a small section but its not great #hurt steve harrington #slaps steves chest 'this boy can hold so much trauma'

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thenerdnextdoorxo · 1 year

Note

I have a request if you're taking them, I may also request this to a few other blogs, so don't mind that, I absolutely love your work btw!!

I was hoping for Wanda and reader

wanda recently invited her gf R to live with her, but R has a habit she doesn't know about. The previous person R lived with always made R do the laundry, make all the food, do all the cleaning, and do everything, and R doesn't realize how messed up that is, R thinks their ''lower'' than whoever they live with, therefore they should do everything.

wanda is heartbroken to see R waiting on her like that, making her meals and cleaning up after her, and doing it happily too, and is upset that her love thinks so low of themselves.

que Wanda reassuring R they will split the work evenly, and R doesn't need to do everything

thank u in advance!

Thank you! I hope you like this one :))

Ever since you decided to date, your partners were always demanding. Asking you to do their laundry or make meals for them, or such. You didn't find any issue with that really, you grew up taking care of your younger sibling so you kind of grew used to being the one to do chores around the house.

You recently moved into Wanda's apartment, and you couldn't be any happier. You loved Wanda more than anything, and you appreciated a little company. As you were used to, you took over the chores around her apartment. At first, Wanda didn't think much of it, she just thought that you were friendly and helping her.

But then you started doing it more often that Wanda felt the need to tell you to relax a bit since you were doing everything around the house and you seemed so tense. But you were confused and said "Aren't I supposed to do chores since we're dating?"

You were met with a confused look from Wanda trying to think why you said such thing and then you continued: "I've been doing this with the people I've dated before and they seemed to like it," You said with a smile on your face.

The first thought that crossed Wanda's mind is that you were used and you didn't know. She knew that sometimes you thought the best of people even if they don't deserve it, but she never thought that something like this happened.

"Detka, no, you aren't supposed to do chores alone, I can help you," She replied and you tilted your head in a questioning manner. "But everyone else said that that's what I'm supposed to do," You said. She sighed and couldn't help but move closer to you to hold you in her arm. She felt like she can protect you this way.

"I know, but they were wrong, you shouldn't have let them walk over you," She whispered and you started to think to all the times where they demanded something ridiculous at an ungodly hour but you still did it out of love. Now felt stupid.

"I was used," You whispered more to yourself than to Wanda. "I know, but it's over know, you've got me, I will never let anyone treat you like that ever again," You weren't listening. You couldn't. All this time, they were being toxic to you and you were oblivious. Before you knew it, your eyes started to tear up.

"Oh no detka, shhh, it's okay, don't cry, I won't let anyone do that to you, I promise," She said while gently rubbing your back. "I know, but I just can't get rid of the fact that I was so oblivious to all their doings," You sobbed. "I know, and we both won't let that happen to you ever again and I give you my word," She replied.

You sat there with Wanda holding you in her arms as she slowly started to rock you back and forth while rubbing your shoulders until you fell asleep. Meanwhile, Wanda was plotting revenge. How could they mess with you? How could they manipulate you like that?

She will make them pay.

================================================

Guess who's back!!! I was supposed to upload last weekend but exams started and ruined the whole plan for me T-T

Anyways, I still have exams on the way so I might not upload as much as I want, but I'll try

My requests are open <3333

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff imagine #mommy wanda #wanda maximov #wanda maximommy #wanda fanfic #marvel imagine #marvel x reader #wanda maxmoff x y/n #wanda marvel #wanda mcu

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burning-academia-if · 8 months

Note

Okay, so, I'll send a proper character reaction ask this time!

You may have seen that before, but it seems every IF blog gets that one ask about how would the ROs react, in relationship (but usually early on), if they see a hickey on MC's neck. And every single time that ask comes in, my fluff loving heart has to send a follow up in which I then ask - "but what if, after that hickey stuff, the RO learned (from the MC or otherwise, probably by accident) that this is not a hickey at all, but a mosquito bite to which the MC had some sort of allergic or otherwise strong reaction, which made it look as big and red?"

So this time I thought... why not just ask the whole thing all at once and be done with it? So like, the actual question: "In relationship, how do the ROs react when seeing a hickey on MC's neck... and how do they react when they later learn this was not a hickey but an insect bite (which also means if they didn't outright comment on it, the MC must have been very confused if they reacted badly)?"

PS: feel free to ignore it if it's too long or annoying to answer! Like I said, usually someone else sends the hickey ask, and I send the follow up. But well, if you feel like it, I'd be very curious!

Thanks and have a great day!

"Hickie" + It's just a bite.

Rook:

For the past ten minutes, he’s been staring at your neck. Or rather, trying his best not to. His thoughts are racing and you haven’t noticed as the two of you walk to a nearby place to grab lunch. Your hands are twined together, and you’ve been talking about classes and work and he thinks he’s been responding.

Inside his head, is a symphony of thoughts. He’s marathoned the five stages of grief already. Currently he rests in the center of ‘acceptance’ and ‘grief.’ Mostly, he’s teetering over the edge into a downward spiral of examining himself.

Rook has always been able to see you with anyone else besides him. Still, the fact you somehow still existed in the same space as him for so long, only because the stars kept aligning in his favor, has been one he’s taken for granted.

There are plenty of things he hasn’t been able to give you, and there’s a strangely complicated history spanning between you two, like a stretch of highway flooded to the ankles after rain. It’s why the mere act of you being here, besides him, is all he can ask for.

If you need someone else, he isn’t going to stop you. The fact your beside him at all is enough of a miracle, and he won’t complain even if it makes his heart break. It’s nothing short of what he deserves.

“You’re quieter than usual.” You comment at some point, and he blinks himself back to reality.

“Sorry. Tired. Stayed up too late last night.”

“You stay up late every night.”

“Well, there you go!” He grins and you only raise a brow at him, but mercifully, comment no further. He has to focus, to slip the mask back on. To keep himself steady.

As you both near the place you’d agreed to eat, you tug on his hand, “Wait, can we stop at the corner store real quick?”

“Oh yeah, did you need something.”

You motion towards your neck, directly at the mark Rook has been trying so hard to ignore, “I need to get some hydrocortisone cream for this bite, it’s been bothering me all day.”

He blinks once, then twice. For once, he’s almost at a loss for words, “Oh.”

“…? Is something wrong?”

“No, I just didn’t realize bites could get that bad.” He covers, quickly. You stare at him and he stares back, all previous thoughts wiped from his mind. He had not been starting to think you were better off without him, nor were his thoughts wandering to how much happier you’d be with anyone else.

He eases his expression into a smile, and you only shrug, “If you say so.”

The thick feeling in his throat never quite leaves.

Beck:

Beck is recounting every face of every person he’s ever seen you interact with. Every person you were just a little too close with, or anyone whose every expressed any interest in you.

He’d spotted you earlier, and in any other case he’d have gone to you and try to squeeze in a few minutes of time together before he had to attend class. Instead, he’d seen you rub at your neck and caught the red mark on your neck. Everything had gone blank, and he’d left before you’d seen him.

Now, his thoughts are scattered in every direction. Beck reads people, and he’s good at it. It’s why this is all hard to wrap his head around. There hadn’t been any change in your demeanor or how you acted around him. If he searches through his memories, he really can’t think of any signs. Or maybe he’s lying to himself.

His fingers keep tapping against the counter as he gazes at nothing. His actions had been so annoyingly constant, Rook had snapped at him to stop brooding in the main. With Beck’s mild response, and clear intention of not doing so, he’d left.

It’s why when the door opens now, later, he expects it to just be him coming back. When he turns and sees you, his spinning thoughts once more freeze. He isn’t ready to see you.

“Hi,” you give a small smile, “Rook told me something was wrong.”

“Oh,” He lets his eyes close, trying to decide how to go about this, “Sorry.”

You take the seat next to him, and he can’t bring himself to look at you. There is only concern in your voice, and he can’t understand how you could have cheated on him and still be so full of affection, “What happened? It’s rare to see you like this.”

“Well, I…” It’s also rare for him to not know what to say. He steels himself, sets his jaw and turns to fully face you. It’s when he does this that he sees a newly acquired bandage on your neck. He falters once more, “A band aid?”

You reach up, looking like you’d even forgotten it’s there, “Oh, yeah. Don’t worry about it, I just got bit. But what’s wrong with you—”

He breaths out a laugh as his head falls and his forehead rests on your shoulder. You stiffen for a moment, before you carefully run a hand through his hair. A bite, of course. It’s the only thing that makes sense. Why didn’t he think of that?

“I’m fine,” he says, and you shift a little as his breath fans across your skin, “Especially now that you’re here.”

You look like you want to say more, but he stops it with a feather light kiss. And another, and another. His relief is palpable, and despite your confusion, you kiss him back, fingers gently combing through his hair in comfort.

Rhea:

You’re already in the student government room, bent over paperwork you promised earlier to help out with. Rhea almost smiles at the sight, eyes going soft. You’re pretty much an honorary member of the SGA at this point.

“Good morning.” She says letting the door shut behind her. “You’re early today.”

“So are you.” You sit up straight, sending her a smile. The movement allows her to see your neck, and it’s like the breath was stolen from her. There, on your neck, is an angry red mark. Her eyes narrow as they zero in on it and you, sensing the clear change in demeanor, shift. “Is something wrong?”

It isn’t like this would be the first time, she thinks, as her insides turn. There have always been people who got close to her solely because of her position and not because they actually cared about her. She’s been cheated on before, but it does not stop the knife from digging in deep.

Even if she didn’t think you were capable of it, it isn’t like she’s judged someone wrong before, “If you’ve already grown bored of me, you merely need to tell me.”

You rise, eyebrows knitting together, “I’m not sure what you mean?”

“I think the evidence on your neck is clear enough.” She can feel the burn in her throat, but she doesn’t cry. She retains her mask as well as she can and turns away as you go shell-shocked.

“Wait, you mean my bug bite?” She freezes before turning back to you. You step closer, allowing her a better view of the mark. Now, right in front of her, she can see the bump in the center of the angry red skin, a clear indication it is, in fact, a bite. “It looks pretty bad, right?”

Her face flushes red, and she rushes her words, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean…”

“With how bad it looks, I can understand the confusion.”

“Still, I immediately jumped to conclusions and judged the worst of your character. That isn’t any way to start a relationship.” She takes a breath, and tries to steady herself and the flood of old memories that had overtaken her. “I’ll do my best not to jump to conclusions next time.”

Despite how the accusation must have rattled you, you merely take her hand when she offers it and give it a small squeeze. Her heart’s still racing and there is still a buzz running down her skin, but at least she’s assured that it was nothing.

Zoe:

You pause, tilting your head at them, “Is something wrong?”

“That mark—on your neck—”

“Hm? Oh, yeah, something bit me. It’s been itching really bad and I think I irritated it more.” You laugh, your hand moving towards it before stopping yourself at the last second.

Zoe has never felt such a strong mix of both relief and stupidity, “

Lars:

Your eyes are wide and his are cold as he cages you between the table and his body. His jaw is set, pupils dilated, and he wears the threat like a favorite cloak. You search his expression, and he thinks you have a lot of nerve.

“What’s…what’s wrong?”

“I think that should be obvious.” His voice is low, and he knows it best to leave. To turn his back and never look back. But the way you approached him, as if the hickey on your neck wasn’t so obvious, had made him see red.

His fingers coast up your arm, and you swallow hard, “I really don’t know. And this is…a lot. Even for you.”

“Is it?” He stops, hovering just beneath the mark. The fact it came from someone else, someone he doesn’t know, sets his teeth on edge. He doesn’t want to feel this. He’d rather just sleep and not have to deal with the presence of reality. His hand rises, and presses against the mark.

You let out a hiss, “Ow, hey, be careful. That bite really hurts.”

He goes still, his touch easing almost instantly, “Bite?”

“Yeah? There’s no way you didn’t notice…” your voice trails off and you eye him, “You didn’t think it was a bite, did you?”

As the initial rage ebbs away, he takes another look at it again. There isn’t the normal bruising of a hickey, and it is only the red of irritation. His hand slips behind your neck, pressing you even closer, “Maybe I didn’t.”

His head dips down and you let out a small gasp as his lips press against your skin on the opposite side, “Lars—”

“But this one will be.” And his teeth sink down.

???:

You return to your dorm, and you catch the faint, almost translucent figure of The Voice. They’re resting on the couch, which can’t be a comfortable place to sleep. Hesitant, as though they’ll fade away again, you brush a hand across their face and feel the cold.

Their eyes open and you smile at them, “Good morning.”

“Oh, MC…” Their voice trails off as they seem to catch on something. A flicker of something crosses their expression, and they move away from your hand.

You pause, “Is something wrong?”

Instead of a response, they reach out and press their forehead against yours. Again, you feel their presence wrap around you, inside, as though you were both back in the old days of when you two had become bound.

You let them, if only because the stillness that has over taken them is one you know well, although it’s never been directed at you. It’s obvious when they find what they need because they give a soft sight and pull away.

The warmth is back in their eyes, “You can’t leave a bite so severe untreated, my love. What if it gets infected?”

“Is that what bothered you?” They press a kiss against your cheek before they pull away. “Come, let’s disinfect it. I don’t wish it to get worse.”

They pull you up, and lead you towards the bathroom. The strength in their grip tells you that they’re still rattled by something, but you’re not sure what. You know if you question it, they won’t say, so you merely sit on the counter and let do what they wish, watching as their demeanor slowly unwinds.

#em answers #ch: rook #ch: beck #ch: rhea #ch: zoe #ch: lars #ch: ???#unedited

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raayllum · 1 month

Note

After S4, Soren's character was just reduced to a doofus. There isn't any arc going on for me. He is just there. Do you think that there is an arc for him?

blog housekeeping: tags masterpost / dragons rambles / foil tags / in regards to (discussions of race / racism) / fandom history / no discourse or harassment / please don’t send me negativity about the show and/or cast and crew

Points at "character development is not the be-all end-all provided you're still getting character expansion and a better understanding of their current worldview/characterization" + bonus "seeing how arc 2 Soren is different than arc 1 Soren"

In S4 and S5 we see:

Soren being much happier and outwardly goofier now that he's not trying to get his dad's approval

Soren stepping up to be Ezran's prime defender (4x01, 4x03, 4x09, 5x01-5x04) and good friend *

* While Soren and Ezran are friends, we have every reason to believe Soren is not going to rely on Ezran for emotional support, and there's extra layers here of Soren being Ez's knight / Ez being his true king

Oh no, you mean the character who avoids thinking about how uncomfortable and stressed he really is (s1, s2, s3) is avoiding thinking about how uncomfortable and stressed he really is now that his family's back in the picture (4x07)?

Soren's season long arc of Not Knowing vs Knowing continuing into S4 and S5

Showing anger, love, despair, and resentment towards his family members ("I know you love magic, but I hope you're careful, because it can change people" / "I was worried okay! And I missed you!" / "But it's not too late to change, please, I know you can change!" / "They were a step ahead of us. They're always one step ahead")

Him and Rayla actually having a dynamic / friendship now

"Soren definitely seems like a feelings-y protect-y kind of guy." "Yeah, you're right, that's not really his style." → "I meant with Callum. Look, when you left, you hurt him bad. Real bad. He was miserable."

Him leaping into a fight to defend an innocent dragon whereas before he was decidedly the aggressor

His developing dynamic with Zubeia and taking on more of Ezran's side of things with human-dragon reconciliation

Soren reaffirming his view of his father but also how that's made Soren more knowledgable and compassionate (through Elmer)

Like Soren is coping better bc he naturally fronts with confidence (1x01, 2x02, 2x07, even some of 3x09). I even love the growth we have from "so I picked on you cause I didn't know any better" to "He's cruel, but you don't have to be". Soren has matured in his view of his own actions and of others, even if he still has some room to grow within his own very black-and-white worldview ("It feels good to be one of the good guys this time").

I could talk more about Soren and his arc within s4 and s5 in detail, but I'm not gonna cow to a rule breaking ask so... try again more nicely maybe and we'll see?

#tdp soren #thanks for asking #arc 2 #triforcezeldaok #soren

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hyenahunt · 2 months

Text

Obbligato: Epilogue - 4 (END)

Writer: Akira

Season: Winter

Characters: Hiyori, Jun, Tatsumi, Nagisa, HiMERU

Proofreading: Remi + 310mc (JP) & Skyress (ENG)

Translation: Peace & hyenahunt

Tatsumi: Amen.

[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]

Hiyori: Haha. Yes, do continue to lavish your praise upon our Jun-kun!

...Honestly, when I was first shown around Reimei Academy, I found myself feeling as though we'd gotten the short end of the stick.

At that time, we had nowhere else that we could go, so we'd no choice but to resign ourselves to it. That before we could escape from Hell, we'd continue to be trapped in its depths for a while longer still.

Hiyori: But you see, as I walked along preoccupied with such melancholy thoughts, I happened to look out the window, and there I saw Jun-kun, dutifully practicing in silence all on his own.

The atmosphere of Reimei Academy at the time was truly dreadful — everyone seemed either dead inside, or they glared at each other with pure resentment.

Jun-kun was the only one with none of that air about him — instead he aspired only to improve himself.

Hiyori: And what a beautiful sight he was... Of course, telling him that to his face would be too embarrassing — it'd go to his head and he'd never let me hear the end of it.

It was while watching this boy that I found it in myself to believe my decision hadn't been made in vain. That if there was even one person like him here, then perhaps it wasn't all so bad.

And so that's why I made the decision to enroll at Reimei Academy, with Jun-kun as my goal. Honestly, I was there initially to scope out Shuuetsu Academy, a school made up of nothing but Special Student elites.

But I found myself believing that I should start all over again at rock bottom and covered with mud, just like Jun-kun.

After all, when you're up somewhere so lofty and high, you'll fail to see what's truly important.

Jun: And just what have you been so cheerfully badmouthing me 'bout, huh~?

Hiyori: Goodness, I wasn't badmouthing you. You're simply being paranoid.

Jun: You swear?

Tatsumi: That's right. I believe that you're rather important to Tomoe-san, Jun-san.

Hiyori: It's true! You rank right after my family, namely Nagisa-kun and Mary!

Jun: I rank below a dog, huh?

Hiyori: If that bothers you so much, then climb your way up! Come now, put your all into it and work ever harder for my love!

Jun: Shut it... It's not like I'm working hard for the sake of your love, y'know~?

I'm working hard so that I can be a better version of myself. Maybe my life looks all kinds of unfortunate and pitiful besides yours, but...

That's precisely why I wanna become the best and strongest idol, so that someday I can declare that's who I am, loud and proud.

It's then that the hard work of my past self will finally all be worth it.

So I'm gonna work hard, right now. I'm gonna give it everything I've got — 'cause giving it all that I've got is all I can do.

Tatsumi: That's right. Fufu, you truly do have no need for God's divine protection.

Jun: You got that right. I don't need no God to save me — 'cause I'm gonna be the one who'll save myself.

Tatsumi: .......♪

Nagisa: ... Shall we stop this idle chatter and begin recording, everyone?

... Though we could simply just rehearse today, and leave the actual filming for another day…

... We don’t have another day to spare, do we?

HiMERU: HiMERU agrees. There is no time to be looking back on days gone by.

We must look towards the future instead, and live earnestly.

So long as we are allowed to do so.

HiMERU: (Kaname. My poor, pitiable little brother. I shall take your place, at least for now.)

(I hope that one day, when you are able to walk once more, you will be able to live a little happier than before.)

(I'll arrange an environment in which you can, and secure a place for you in it as well.)

HiMERU: (I am your older brother, after all.)

HiMERU: (When you awake, when you're able to walk once more…)

(I won't fail this time. I'll make your wish come true.)

(Long have I lived alone, void of any dream at all — and now what was yours has since become my own.)

Tatsumi: (... Ah, even though this is the same place as then, the same Reimei Academy…)

(It feels different. Right now, I feel so refreshed and full of energy.)

(Are you the one I should thank for that, God?)

Tatsumi: (Our Father who art in heaven, you have always guided my life with your hand.)

(Dear fate, dear faith, I thank you for leading me to where I stand today.)

(We have faced much sorrow, despair, and tragedy.)

(Nonetheless, I stand enveloped in the warmth I had always craved. If this is reward for my piety, O God, then I truly could never detest you.)

Tatsumi: (Even if it happens that God does not exist, and this is nothing but a series of coincidences…)

(Then I shall call those coincidences miracles, rewards, and love you all the more.)

(Amen.)

(Fufu. I shall do as Tomoe-san did and use Jun-san, whom he loves so much, as an example; I'll begin at the very bottom, crawling my way through the mud.)

Tatsumi: (No matter how often he gets knocked down, how often he collapses, he still stands right back up.)

(I am forever grateful for that. Not only do I have God on my side, but friends as well.)

(Such invaluable friends who support one another…)

(Who share their warmth, and move forward with happiness in their hearts.)

(We shall walk together on this road, step by step.)

Tatsumi: ♪～♪～♪

[ ☆ ]

✦✦✦✦✦

← prev ✦ all ✦

#ensemble stars #enstars #enstars translation #hyenahunttl #tatsumi kazehaya #hiyori tomoe #nagisa ran #jun sazanami #himeru #s: obbligato

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poohsources · 6 months

Text

HELLO EVERYONE! as the year is slowly but surely coming to its end, and i'm now home for the holidays, i thought it was finally time to make another one of these. partially to give a little update on what's been going on in my life and partially as some sort of retrospect for this past year and a look into my plans for next year.

looking back, it's been quite an eventful year — especially when compared to the weird covid years we had to deal with previously. the biggest change was probably my dropping out of college to start a dual studies program in law. i did like my college program just fine ( until i didn't anymore ) but i really feel like law is my thing. and apparently everyone else in my circle of family and friends thinks so as well because i seem a hell of a lot happier than i did before. kinda unfortunate it took me seven years since quitting high school to figure that bit out, but hey, at least i got there in the end. it's been quite time-consuming, and i feel like in those past five months, i've already learned more than i did in all my years of college, but it's fun. i also finally got some new friends my age again. it's also strange to think back that just one year ago i was still struggling financially and just generally dealing with some bad mental health stuff.

i'm actually happy now.

in terms of tumblr and roleplaying, i gotta be honest that i have been sidelining it a lot over the last months. sure, i'm still around but it's not my primary focus, and i'm learning that it's okay not to be online all the time. it's okay to take breaks and focus on other things because as much as i love this blog, the community and tumblr, there are some more important things now. still, i am and always will be eternally grateful to every single person who supports me - whether it is by liking or reblogging posts, sending asks or messages, following me or using any of my stuff. it means so freaking much to me, and i always feel so proud whenever i randomly see my own stuff pop up on my dash because mutuals use it. thank you all so very much! in a similar vein, i honestly still cannot fathom that i almost managed to double the follower count this past year. i'm probably not gonna reach the goal i've kinda been looking at until the end of the year but that's okay. i am so incredibly grateful for everyone here anyway. no matter what.

as for next year - i'm not too sure what i'm gonna do. of course. i'm gonna keep posting memes, and templates and whatever other stuff i feel like doing, but i think my activity is gonna keep on being spotty. i'm also still tempted to do commissions one day ( and we're totally gonna ignore that i've been saying this for over a year now, okay? ) but with the amount of time i don't have, i'm not sure i'm gonna be able to deliver on that. if i do finally build the courage and self-esteem to do that, it will be like an occasional thing that might take some time. however, one thing i do wanna do more of is gifs. i'm not sure what kind of gifs, but i enjoy making them and it's been way too long since i did them so i'm gonna see how i'm gonna incorporate that. or if anyone has any specific gifs they want, always feel free to shoot me an ask or a message. maybe also some aesthetic-y stuff? after all do love making pinterest boards for characters.

maybe i'll also do a blog reveal once i finally set up my multi that i've been planning to work on for months now. since i'm gonna scrap my current main blog ( which i haven't really been active on in a while now anyway ) i'm kinda thinking of coming back to writing and who knows, maybe i'm gonna reveal it here in case anyone would like to write with me.

anyway, this was a lot of rambling, and if you've made it this far, i once again wanna thank you. i know i do this a lot but i really do appreciate you all being here so much, and even after two years of having this silly little blog, it still feels unreal to me that so many people here enjoy what i do.

much love and happy holidays, pooh 🧡

#pooh speaks.#pooh's (ir)regular updates.#long post tw

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prettygirlmjmjmj · 7 months

Note

Hi!! Hope your having a nice day!!

I was wondering if I can get some tips on losing weight as a student as I'm still going to school while keeping up with my grades!

Also how to be happy with my body as I have huge face and body dysmorphia which really comes inbetween me and my journey into turning into a better version of myself!

Thankyou and have a great day. I absolutely adore and love your blog!!

Hi, thank you anon, I hope your having a lovely day too. I want to start this by saying that while I am going to give some tips, they will be healthy and sustainable as that is the best way to safely lose weight and maintain good grades in school while not becoming vulnerable to illnesses or weaknesses. I am also sure that you are absolutely gorgeous and so, so pretty even if you struggle to see it. I know it's hard to believe but beauty is more than just something on the surface, it's in your actions and how you treat others and you seem so kind and lovely.

How to lose weight safely for school

Try and eat more fruit and vegetables, for example instead of having a burger and chips, have a burger and salad. If you bring your own lunches try to include three to four vegetables and one or two fruits! Not only will this mean you get more nutrients in your diet but you also are eating healthier foods.

Instead of doing an hour long workout after school, when you might be tired or busy, try doing two or three ten minute ones, in between studying or homework. Your much less likely to be consistent with a long workout as opposed to shorter ones which will be easier to do regularly and make time for.

Add more protein to your meals. Try and make your meals with more sources of protein like chicken, eggs, turkey etc. Not only will this help you stay fuller for longer but protein will help you have more energy for your school day.

Try and walk more during the day. Try walking more at school or at home, going on a walk outside regularly (which is great for your mental health) and just overall walking more if possible.

Instead of having unhealthy snacks, take the time to buy or prepare something healthy like veggie sticks and hummus or a smoothie. This way you'll be eating healthily but not forcing yourself to be hungry in between meals.

Try and eat your meals at regular times, for example breakfast between 6-8, lunch between 12-2, dinner between 6-8 and so on. This will mean your body clock gets used to eating at a regular time and you get used to eating and prepping food so that it becomes less of a chore.

Find a sports club or activity that appeals to you! For example, joining a dance club or athletics club is a great way to be regularly active and meet new people! It can also give you something to put on future applications etc.

Don't skip meals and try to stay in the present whilst eating. Skipping meals makes you more likely to binge or eat unhealthier foods later on, eating regularly means you stay in control of your appetite and are still able to be active and do the things you love! Minimising distractions will help you be more aware of what you're eating and how it feels whilst you eat and your hunger cues.

Cook more! Try to bring your own lunches to school, make your own breakfasts and snacks. This way you can ensure that what you are eating is in line with your goals and is also delicious for you!

Don't cut out food groups or heavily restrict things, it will only make you crave them more. Instead add things to fill you up so you're more satisfied and less likely to over-eat foods that you are trying to minimise. For example instead of having a whole chocolate bar, have half of one with a selection of fruits alongside instead. Doing this will mean you don't binge on these foods later and stay full and satisfied for longer.

How to be happier with your appearance and body

Develop your personal style. Wearing clothes that make you feel confident will help you feel better about your body and overall appearance. Try looking on pinterest or other social medias for clothing inspiration and try to start buying/thrifting clothes that fit that. Even if your personal style isn't necessarily what's popular right now, the confidence you feel while wearing it will be recognisable to other people and help you feel happier about your body/appearance.

Accept compliments. Instead of dismissing them or believing them to be ingenuine, accept them. If it makes you feel better you could even try writing them down somewhere so that you can look back on them when you feel bad, especially if they're from friends of family that you love.

Write a list about what you like about yourself. Even if it starts off short, try to add something regularly (for example once a week, or twice a month). It doesn't have to be related to your appearance, but having a list to read over will help comfort you when you feel at your lowest or most insecure.

Unfollow accounts and distance yourself from people who make you feel insecure. This one can be especially hard but surrounding yourself by things that make you feel bad or insecure will only have long-term damage on your perception of yourself and mental health. Sometimes unfollowing, blocking people or tags and distancing yourself is what will be best for you, even if it feels difficult at first.

Do more self care. Getting through the day feeling insecure is incredibly draining and taking the time to care for yourself can help comfort you and also make you feel better and more attractive, as you take the time to care for yourself and do what you love. Whether that means having an everything shower or meditating with a candle, do something calm that you love.

Try to have a regular skincare and body care routine, and if you wear it, makeup routine. Just taking care of yourself everyday and being consistent can help you feel more prepared for the day and a little better!

Focus on building up your confidence in every aspect of your life. Try to get more confident in social areas, academic areas and self image. Try finding youtubers who help with confidence and self love.

Practice good posture, manners and hygiene. Having good posture and manners help you to feel much more confident and attractive, and other people may also treat you better as a consequence! Having good hygiene will also help you to feel better about yourself and smelling nice is incredibly attractive.

Try saying affirmations or journaling with a focus on confidence and self love everyday. This can help you find reasons to be confident and positive about your appearance, work out what makes you feel worse/better about your appearance and help your mental health, giving you a healthy and positive outlet.

Find things that make you feel more beautiful/attractive. For example, wearing your hair in a certain way that you think frames your face nicely or practicing speaking in a confident, calm way. Try doing/practicing these things and work on feeling more confident and pretty. No matter how small or silly you think it is, doing the things that make you feel beautiful and amazing will help your self confidence and positivity grow!

Thank you for reading! I hope you know anon (and everyone else reading) that you are so beautiful and lovely and deserve to be treated incredibly. All my love, mj.

#glow up era #that girl #glow up #self care #self development #glow up journey #self love #it girl #girl blogger #girlblogging #pinterest girl #pink pilates princess #pink #pink aesthetic #it girl energy #it girl aesthetic #it girl lifestyle #girl blogging #coquette girl

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viviennelamb · 24 days

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Sometimes I feel so depressed at how disgusting everything around me is. I’ve been reading your blog for a while, trying to absorb as much as I can, and I feel so happy when I read your writing. But to be honest I’ve been putting off making real life efforts. I haven’t started meditation and I put off doing other things that I know would improve my life. I waste my days with time draining hobbies and I know that it’s escapism. I think I’ve just been too scared to let go of the coping mechanisms I’ve had for so long because I can't imagine life being bearable without them.

I feel like I’ve just been stuck in this limbo since I began noticing patterns in the people around me, and it dawns on me just how evil and deluded the average person really is, and this gets reaffirmed to me almost everyday. But when I have a realization, I don't do anything with it, I just let it make me sad. It feels like I'm going through stages of grief but I keep going back and forth between being sad and angry at everyone around me for being the way they are. The part that makes me the angriest is that it seems like they don’t even try to fight it, they just let themselves be consumed by every evil thought that crosses their mind with no hesitation or remorse.

I don't remember it word for word, but the part in your book where you said people don't really mind living among rapists because that sets the bar for who is bad or good- that is so true. They are perfectly fine with living on a planet full of pedophiles and rapists because that’s what makes them “good” in comparison. They don’t care about being evil as long as there’s someone who is worse than them. Nobody can take accountibility for anything without deferring to a different group of people who supposedly does worse.

It took me a while to realize it, but I think this is what holds women back more than anything. Anything you could possibly suggest they do to improve the quality of their lives or to be better people- it automatically comes back to comparing themselves to who men are and what they do. I think even hardcore feminists secretly adore men for being disgusting and transparent about who they are, because it makes anything bad they do pale in comparison- they get to be the “good” people. They put on a face of purity and moral superiority but then secretly get themselves off to everything they pretend to hate about the world.

I can see now that the world is the way it is because people love the parasites that feed off of them. People love being owned, drugged-up, enslaved, having their innocence tarnished again and again if it means getting some precious attention and validation because they’re just that soulless. I’ve gotten so tired of the games people play where they pretend that the world is out to get them, do everything in their power to direct a predator’s attention towards them, ride out that high as long as they can get some kind of physical or emotional gratification out of it, then have a mental breakdown and join a political movement once shit gets a little too real and they decide they don’t like playing with darkness anymore. I just wish they would be honest about the kind of people they are.

Did you ever go through a "grief" period where you were sad and angry at the world like this? How long did it take for you to feel happier? I want to live the kind of life where I don’t care about what other people do. But sometimes it’s hard to imagine myself emotionally detaching from it all.

God will help you

You're on the right track. Don't get caught up in your moods, just know that you're in the process of gathering rocket fuel because motivation is needed to go towards God. You're precisely where you need to be, and you will be taken care of while you figure this out, but don't wait too long because there will be an event to force this change.

Start making it a daily habit to listen to and watch positive media. And I mean actual positive media from and about Spiritual Masters, not the shallow fake people who talk about “God told me to tell you this!” or the always-positive tarot card readings. Get away from any semblance of pop-astrology, LoA, and witchcraft but don't give any real process to enacting on it. It's a waste of your valuable time. They take bits and pieces of what will come naturally to you as you increase your intelligence.

You will reach a point where you get tired of stagnation and take action. Don't think about the future of how you will cope, just live in the present moment. Something new you would've never guessed could come up. In my situation, I decided to start meditation one early morning in a burst of inspiration. I didn't plan it whatsoever.

You don't need to escape from God. You will see that those are the best parts of your life. I can't explain this to you because words cannot encompass the bliss you will experience, even at the beginning stages. There is so much progress to be made and it can be felt after every Sadhana. Just observing your daily new-found inner happiness alone can become a hobby. Just put in 25% percent of sitting in a quiet place and stilling your mind and God will help you with the rest.

The rapist's mindset

Rape happens because the ordinary person wants it to happen. I remember going on a vacation with a former friend who said multiple times I was going to get raped out of the blue. Could've been envy, could have been her porn addiction... it doesn't matter. This is the mindset of a sexual person.

This is also what they think of when they look at babies, even if they don't voice it. Some women have confessed to me that being raped or raping others is a fantasy of theirs as well. This is a very sick and twisted world we're in... what is there to like about it? Somebody being nice to you? Some food? The truth of reality remains the same: egos aren't capable of love.

I still have yet for somebody to tell me any perks of following the societal blueprint. Once you're no longer chasing after the promises of nothing, the big picture is straightforward.

Most people would rather not improve their lives due to thinking their lives are already perfect. They subscribe to the notion of “Self-Actualization” that once they achieved a career, a home, marriage, kids, and a dog, that's it. Soon they will undergo a crisis, drop everything and turn to Spirituality because they want more out of life because they've lost themselves. This is a good thing because they have a lot to renunciate which strengthens their decision, but most become fake sages who bestow the obvious message that placing all of one's worth into materials and other people is death.

Something they ridiculed people for knowing from the start, but now they want clout for being “enlightened.” These individuals never address the specifics of what places people into the cycle of sorrow because these types of people are the fuel to the Beast System. I'm not sure if you've gotten to any of the goals that society says is the human ideal, but once you get it, you will realize how useless it is if you can't achieve happiness.

Overcoming grief

Once you overcome your desire to believe in the american imagination, you will start to cry at how joyful you've become and wonder why God chose to bestow this increasing joy onto you instead of everybody else. Most of the individuals you see are just egos. They won't realize God in this lifetime, let alone realize they're human beings made in God's image, which is the soul. There's no reason to listen to anything they say unless you want to be like them. Always listen to people you would like to be like and nobody else.

I've abhorred this world since birth, and I've never had faith in anybody, so I'm not the right person to ask about grief or depression, unfortunately. You have to reach the point where you hate the world to gain a pure mind. That's the sacrifice. It's not a difficult sacrifice as most people are rodents scurrying over each other and fighting, raping and killing each other over nothing. Everybody falls out with each other eventually, and those who don't leave bad situations compromise because they're terrified of being alone.

When I hear people discuss vanity, that's probably the closest to sadness I experience because the egotism is thrown right in my face. These individuals typically engage in whatever they're lambasting about, but assign it to people with a particular appearance instead of the cause and effect of actions. I don't really care when people go overboard with their appearance, but something about them talking about putting on an image or how somebody should be based on their appearance makes my heart sink. This is because of how stupid they are. These are individuals who would do anything to maintain their false image, so they're dangerous as well.

Achieving happiness

I've primarily tried going past my disgust for egos to fit in. Once I witnessed the worship of drugs and sex, realizing I never had friends because they would always choose self-destruction over themselves and especially me. I don't associate with people who don't reciprocate goodwill, and recognized the pattern that it was all of them. This includes people who would bully others, and I was a sitting duck until they were ready to treat me like garbage as well.

By the summer of my senior year, I stopped having lunch with people, stopped hanging out after school, stopped coming in earlier, and stopped hanging out with other people who had a gap period. I started taking walks alone in a bright, lush park nearby instead.

This is when I realized that it's a choice to become happy. All I had to do was let go of false hopes of friendship, camaraderie, and community that weren't happening in the present moment. I as I took my daily walks in this park, I felt waves of peace wash over me and I told myself I'd never give up this feeling again. But find a way to amplify it, and I've remained true to that. This moment is the only reason why I largely look upon high school positively, it was all worth it for that moment. I drove by that school recently and it was veiled by a black cloud. I could barely see the building, even though I was looking right at it.

As a result, I prefer to be in solitude. That's the only time I'm happy and it has always been that way, so this is the only solution I can recommend. The only warmth I've ever felt in my life is from God. Once a person is around me, there is nothing but demands, control, judgment, harassment.

When you turn to God, it's like having your best friend with you all the time and instead of feeling shame, you just laugh inwardly at people's antics because your best friend is in on the joke with you. When you know that this world is created for entertainment, you become much more lighthearted and leave the depravity to the depraved. When you decide to change, you will experience this true and unbreakable love, and then you will directly experience the wonderful life that awaits you, and you will ask yourself why the hell did it take you so long.

#ask

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