#otherwise id be stuck with that shit for life

[taniushka12]

can a dying slugcat reach his destination at the other end of the region in only three days/cicles? stay tunned to find out (rainbow edition)

[princess-of-the-corner]

Had some time, mused on who oft eh existing cast could play the role of Butterfly User for more mundane crimes and have three potential hits:

Name: Cash (King Moth) Motive: Acquiring wealth, power & protecting his identity. Backstory: Hired by Gabriel Agreste to acquire the Butterfly Miraculous, he was able to determine its worth before handing it over and has begun to use it for his own evil ends.

Notes: The main issue is what keeps him in Paris? Maybe Gabriel can keep him there by threatening to reveal his ID but not force him to give it up? Could be tracked down by Wu Fei for a movie, or leave the city to have that story happen.

Name: Tomoe Tsurugi (Ikari Gozen) Motive: Strike down her rivals, acquire rare artifacts, wealth and power for herself and her family. Backstory: Having won the butterfly during her younger years, Tomoe has used it intermittently since to take down all who might oppose she and her families rise to power.

Notes: Given Akuma is actually a Japanese name it kind of works, but it feels like a waste to have her not have 'a' bigger scheme even if she doesn't want to use the wish.

Name: - (The Magician) Motive: To gain wealth and power in the underworld. Backstory: Having been serving a life sentence in one of Paris's prisons, she was free on accident during the first Sentimonster rampage. She tracked down her former employers grave, dug it up and claimed the Butterfly for herself.

Notes: She could have used it formerly, or been the child or servant of a former user taken down by Fu who knew where it was hidden. Basically she wants to be the crime boss of Paris.

Otherwise probably best just to make an OC along the lines of Specular Spiderman's Tombstone. Someone ruthless, deadly and effective and criminal but also not looking to disrupt the status quo too much.

As is, I imagine Gabriel would indeed be stuck trying to use work arounds to create Sentimonsters that are powerful but hard to control due to him not actually wielding the Peacock but just making Duusu produce the creatures. & otherwise he's stuck hiring outsider villains and orchestrating schemes that let him show off that side of himself which he is actually good at VS leading in combat scenarios where he kind of sucks.

The only other options beyond totally unrelated powers would be the Renlings and Mei Shi, or an original Miraculous but they all run the risk of being repetitive, or having the same issues the Butterfly did.

ohohoho

Yeah honestly I do wonder why Cash didn't keep that info to himself instead of handing it over to Gabe. (I REALLY need to do the Shanghai special but I'd have to retcon some shit in HC to do it properly and I don't wanna).

[hauntedotherworld]

i cant take it anymore. its too painful and i have nothing but suffering thats all i feel and its always been hopeless

i have NOTHING, no one at all to live for .. the one i lost i dont even .. i dont even know if i want her back, although i know we will never meet or talk ever agaib. its already been years. its hard when the person is your fp or.. ex fp.. the feelings that are overwhelming stay but at the same time i have so much anger and despair for what she did. i wish it never happened i had no control over it and i hate it, i HATE HER . SHES THE WORST and never cared like i did, even though we had such a strong bond.. to her it was normal friendship which by the end disapeared.. not for me. because my fucking fucked up head isnt like everyone elses and so im left all alome all i have is suffering, nothing will ever be good enough anymore. i doubt i could even feel that ever again.. i hate her too. i wish i never met her, because otherwise atleast i couldve not known what that felt like. to have an fp. someone who is the entire world for me and i couldnt do shit about it . all i can think of is memories and mourn it . but i also hate her and in one way do not care or wish to EVER meet her again- which again will never happen anyway.. i just feel so fucking empty and have forever but it gets worse the older i get. i cant feel ANYTHING FOR LIFE let alone others now. im living for no reason at all. every part of the day is just empty, void depression and deep bored and loneliness. nothing and no one can fill that anymire either, i knew that when i had gone to college (for a few months until i dropped out and left those great friends id made) because it didnt make me feel ok and i couldnt handle it , i left as always. so i never have anybody. and when i try and form a conmection with stra gers , just to feel sometthing - i feel absolutely nothing at all . nothing now. all i do id hate myself and stuck in my head.

i never want a family i dont care about love anymore or anything and all i feel is that deep empty, despairing feeling and its unBEARABLE .. every fucking day. all i can do is repeat that in my mind and breakdown because what else am i able to do except die? but aside from my anxiety about that, even dying doesnt sound good anymore.. because what will happen? i feel i wont go to heaven because i quit church because of the horrible _thing there. i dont really care abput anything.. except my dog but that isnt enough to make me able to get through when everythings missing and IT ALWAYS WILL BECAUSE I HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS. HAVE THIS MENTAL ILLNESS, BPD, AND MAJOR DEPRESSION WITH ANXIETY AND OTHER SHIT THAT RUINED EVERYTHING. ive tried SO hard. so fuckinh hard everyday its torture it always has been but its gotten worse to the point i can hardly think i just feel like an empty shell and the pain is like nothing else. i dont know whatll happen if i die, but whatever happens it should be better than this.. if not, i cant escape it itll come on its own if i dont. so i should just do it. no one cares anyway and i dont either

im just so heartbroken and what i fucking had to be and what my life hd to be. its not fair and nobody except others like me know what this is like.

i cant do it guys its harder and harder and i cant carry on i swear to god

[silversnaffles]

*sigh* guess I have to stop shit posting on here and start posting about horses again now y’all are crawling back (I’m kidding lmao I’m happy people are coming back to tumblr)

I do actually want to post about my life with the horses again im just burnt out by social media, y’know? And it sucks lol I’ll get back on it. I just need to treat tumblr how I used to, and get back into the swing of it.

I currently only really lurk on here to satiate whatever brainrot I have going on as tumblr always has the best fanfiction and art, but it’s time to get back to business baby

For a quick summary: I still have Amera, Tara, Jim, and Sage - Sage is currently on loan on the same yard as the other ponies, I’m unsure whether he’ll be staying under that persons care or not. It depends on them, but tbh I kinda miss having him all to myself lmao brat Hannah coming in strong. In all honesty, I’m not actually sure how dedicated they are to him anymore, which is fine. They also said something drunk to my mum the other week which did upset me though - saying that he’s quirky and “not even Hannah wants him” which really upset me. I only let them have him on loan as I was worried he needed more attention than what I could give him at the time and they seemed to love him as much as I do. Sage is my darling (and he’s not actually quirky but that’s an issue for another time). But hey maybe it’ll work out, I do care about his loaners a lot. They are good friends, I just worry about my horses. But hey, who doesn’t?

I’ll do a proper post on this update soon, but unfortunately I lost Kosha last month. I couldn’t bring myself to post about losing him properly - I just did sort of announcements on ig stories and on my Twitter. It was rough. Unsure of whether it was an benign tumour from his Cushings or potentially acorn poisoning (huge rise in that locally) but he was put to sleep last month. 20 years together 💔

I now live in Norway! Once my residency is officially approved (meeting in Jan - kept getting postponed thanks to covid and I got stuck in the uk for almost 2 years, and I currently pay 50% tax until I get my national ID and don’t have to use a Dnumber anymore yikes), I’ll be putting money to the side to move ponies over here! The plan is to get Jim here first, then Tara. I’m currently only able to have 3 over here, so if Sage stays on loan I’ll bring Amera over, but if I take Sage back then he’ll move over here. Amera will then stay with my mum, and I can cuddle her whenever I go home. Whilst I’d love to have all four here, Im not sure I’ll be able to afford it. Three will be a push. I’ll see how I go financially I’ll talk it through with my boss if I think I can afford it. Otherwise I’d prioritise Sage over Amera purely because my mum gets along with Amera better and honestly I don’t think Amera cares that much about being ridden y’know? I mean no horse really does but she has a genuine lack of interest in it and loves living in a big herd and just getting the regular cuddles and weekly grooming sessions. So we’ll see what happens there. They’ll still get herd turnout here in Norway, it just won’t be grazing all year bc of snow etc, they have like gravel paddocks with smaller herds (they’re currently in a herd of around 16?? Idk I haven’t counted in a while whereas here the biggest herd is a herd of 6) and then grazing for the spring, summer, and autumn.

Anyway that’s all I can think of for now! Hopefully I can get my ass into gear, tidy up ol’ silversnaffles and start posting properly again!!!

[non-un-topo]

📚 (feel free to count that as three separate book emojis if you want 😁)

Hello hello! Three fic plots, hmm...

I've had this idea for another queer quartet fic set in the high middle ages for some time... Involves them attempting a con that goes wrong (because it must always go wrong, otherwise where's the fun?!). Essentially they trick this important alchemist guy into believing they have the philosopher's stone, or the elixir of life, and it all just goes to shit. Was going to write it from Quynh's pov because I miss her terribly, and I like getting in her head for these situations. But maybe a switching pov would work better for this one. I'd really love to write this one tbh.

Another queer quartet feature I've been thinking about for like... a year that's basically just the accidental baby acquisition trope: Also from Quynh's pov. She and Andy meet the boys after some time apart, and they discover a few stowaways in the boys' saddle bags-- a little girl and her baby brother. Joe and Nicky had no idea they were in there, of course. Little girl hitched a ride because she needs someone to take her and her brother to their grandmother's house, because their father is off fighting and their mother is working away. So, four battle-worn immortal soldiers get stuck with these kiddos and while the boys enjoy taking care of them, Quynh is wary. It's supposed to be a comedy, ends happily!

A fic that takes place in the early 90s, in which some of the guard have to go undercover for a job, and they're also forced to be holed up in a small apartment. Basically, I thought about Nicky's college ID and wondered how much mileage I could get out of it involving the Booker-Nicky brotherly dynamic.

____

(Put "📓" or some other version of a book emoji into my inbox and I'll explain the plot of a fanfiction that I haven't written but daydream about.)

[tears-of-boredom]

tumblr is lagging in a weird way so i dont know if this is gonna post but

what if I killed myself huh, would that give a chance at the life ive always wanted. i dont even really want to kill myself right now, sometimes specific words just sound right when out together. also earlier i was repeating "she needs to sort out her priorities" in my head because that is the equivalent of vocal stimming to my quiet ass. also yeah im kinda sad about the vibe ive created in my mind around harry potter. its this non-existant thing but still i get like really wishful and sad whenever I think about harry potter. and by "non-existant" i mean that the vibe was completely created by ATYD and is associated in my brain with the whole hp world forever now. and its kinda awful. but also I shouldnt beat myself up over this. because im pretty sure the only reason the vibe stuck so hard is because when i was in one of my earliest depressive episodes, imagining conjuring flowers for myself was how i spent many sleepless nights. but also I'm pretty sure my mom isnt aware of what kind of person jk is, and its really awkward cause we have like two hp mugs and I wanna throw them out but then she said that if I dont wanna use them, she could put them in between the window panes. as decorations. which is even worse. it would be better if the reason we have them still is "we use them to drink stuff.". but I was really fucking tired when she said that and i didnt wanna get into conflict. anyways what the fuck was I talking about im so sorry. guess ive just been dealing with the guilt of still wanting to enjoy the idea of harry potter that i have in my head. and the fics. which admittedly suck a lot of the time. honestly like if you write hp fics just dont mention the differing dorms its really fucking weird, dont keep that weird sexist shit in. I mean, thats assuming that you don't like jk. cuz if you did you'd probably like the sexist shit. you'd probably like how every single fic has at least one "group of giggling girls". anyways yeah i dont really hate myself today, i just think my hormones are a bit rowdy. so i just feel shitty for no reason. its honestly the worst when you cant even pinpoint why in the fuck you feel shitty. anyways im gonna listen to music now because i have not done that in a long fucking while. seriously, i have not had the need to leave the house for so long that id take my earbuds, and otherwise ive been tiring myself out playing on the ps4 so ive not even realised its a thing i can do.

oh cool you can add the read more thing on mobile now.

[cheonmaneechan]

I feel like there's no reasonable reason to worry in the foreseeable future at least about a mass nationwide porn ban in the US. Politicians like that shit too much in private (though they could probably get away with it even if it was illegal cause they get away with much worse), even with the literally bought out conservative supreme court that we have it would probably to blatant of a breach of the first amendment no matter what goofy ass qanon conspiracy-esque excuses republicans make up, and corporations have already been well managing at doing most of the work themselves. Y'all remember when it was common knowledge that the internet was for porn back in the 2000s?

Anyway, I feel like if there was a nationwide porn ban in the US of any kind however, the same dumbasses who say that it's a good thing that sites like tumblr do it and excuse them for it like they're their paid PR managers would probably be the same people defending that shit for the same reasons.

"It's safer for everyone in general," if you can't handle managing the safety of your users, you shouldn't even be running a discord, let alone a website.

"It's easier on the moderators' mental health," no matter the content, if you can't reasonably moderate your website, you shouldn't even be running a discord, let alone a website.

"They can't make as much money in general," this would be more an argument for tumblr, but why should such a large portion of the site's userbase be sacrificed for corporate gain in the first place? Would this site really go down if it wasn't on the apple store anymore? Who is anyone to claim which users are worth sacrificing, let alone ones that need social media websites in order to spread their name, make money, and pay bills?

"It's gross and uncomfortable anyway," curate your shit properly and look the other way. You can't live a life where you never see anything you don't like and I can assure you the solution is not to outright ban human expression and make people's financial struggles all the more difficult.

"It's better for sex workers," objectively false. Any sex worker would tell you otherwise and from what I've heard, making sex work of any kind less accessible, let alone illegal, forces sex workers to go underground and go into more dangerous work. Making it more difficult for sex workers to make their own money and independent financial gain in a legal manner makes their lives very obviously worse and more difficult.

"It's better and safer for children," people who make their content and do their work themselves already heavily try to distance them and themselves away from them as much as possible and there's plenty of things and options that can be done in order to make websites safer or unaccessible to young people. Also, being realistic here, unless there's some sort of ID that is literally stuck to computers or some other blatant privacy violation, there's always going to be people who try to look at things they're not supposed to and there's no perfect or absolute way to stop it. The best one can do is have options such as sfw filters and discourage them as much as possible for their safety and ban, block, and or report them whenever they are known of or suspected. But I speak as a used to be youngin from experience when I say that if they really want to, they'll find away. There's no true way around that fact.

The people who would unironically support a nationwide porn ban of any kind across the US or anywhere are the same kind of people who would support banning kink and all expressions of sexuality at pride parades and unironically think that making sex work more difficult is somehow helping sex workers. Shit's cringe, and bad all around.

[pseudophan]

Are you painting?

currently trying to get myself to start

[bullflight]

((Mmmm...))

[bibbleboo]

god i rly do think the only way im ever gonna be happy or have a life im not miserable dedicating to somebody else is if i find a way to live alone. but i literally dont know if thats possible shdfsdfhs i cant drive i cant do dishes i make $500 a month im like. so fucked and honestly if i wanted to i could probably solve Some of these problems but im not. even given enough time to work on honing my adult skills. 

yall not to sound bitter or whiny but straight up since my early teen years all ive ever known is being forced to take care of other people. i was never given the unconditional care and support system it takes a teen to learn how to grow up without worrying abt failing bc i was too busy being roped into caring for other people and fixing all their problems and they in return would help with my disability issues. so i never Grew from that or rly i grew at a snails pace bc i had to barely squeeze in time to work on myself. all my progress was halted by that and i was just stuck in that spot. cuz like for them its only ever an exchange to accommodate me and anything less is unfair and they just stop doing it. and part of me feels guilty and cant help but feel like, ok how can i expect more than that though. like how can i expect accommodation without balance. ppl need 50/50. but also literally, how am i supposed to take care of myself and grow when i am constantly trying to pay off a debt to others just for existing with needs. 

and then they fucking complain im not doing enough for them or for myself and like i!!!!! ok shit or get off the pot then!!! i WANT to do this im just scared if i fail yall wont take me back in bc i stopped being ur fucken slave and then im gonna go back to 11 yr old me attempting sui.ci/de twice bc thats how i look at rock bottom apparently and i dont trust her!!! and its YOUR GUYS FAULT LIKE.... i love my family but . they ruined a lot of shit for me with this fucked up cycle. telling me ‘you just need to push yourself’... when do i have the time when im playing ur fuckin mommies. literally. where am i expected to pull the time or strength or energy or motivation . fuck off like. im needy bc yall didnt give me enough time to learn not to be and i feel like intentionally or not part of it was to keep me around to help them out like uuuuuuuuuuuuuugh i hate this oh my goddddd yall didnt give me the tools to be an adult and now just to escape u im gonna have to jump the shark with Nothing and hope i dont end up homeless or forever fucked in bad credit debt land , while knowing if i got evicted or smth i would literally right away try to kms , again because i waSNT GIVEN PROPER CHANCES TO FAIL OR SUCCEED OR LEARN BC I WAS TOO BUSY KEEPING YALL FROM FAILING LIKE I----- AAAAAHH WHATT DID U EXPECTTTttTTTTTTTT i wanna scream. i never wanted to be a hyper dependent idiot that asks for this much w.o being able to return the favor well enough but yall didnt give me the fucking care i needed to learn how to do anything else so good luck w/o me babes when i figure a way out of here xoxo . but no honestly part of what pisses me off most tho is that when i leave they WILL be able to figure it out, theyll be angry and struggle a little at first but theyll adapt. i rly might not be able to figure this out, itd be my first time adapting to relying on myself and filling Only my needs. its so ufcking wildly unfair i just wanna cry and punch somebody

[inqilabi]

hope youre doing well, and wishing you peace 🌸 i wanted to hear your opinion on this pls because i think youre one of the smartest, most eloquent women on "radblr" and i dont mean this in a parasocial way bc i know i don't know you, but i do look up to you ... what do you think is to be done abt this western queer nonsense? how are we going to get out of this? do you think people will start to wake up, or are we going to be stuck with it getting worse and worse? its gotten to such a ridiculous level. i dont know anymore how feminism or hell rationality is supposed to exist when its becoming the dominant idea among liberals/leftists that youre a nazi for knowing bio sex exists or for saying i shouldnt be forced to suck dick as a lesbian. going so far as to change medical books and terminology concernes me greately. ive been in the west for a decade, ive seen trans ideology and choice feminism rise before my very eyes, and im still shocked at the level its gotten to. it feels a bit like allah is playing some practical joke on us, like this many otherwise "woke" ppl cant possibly lack critical thinking so hard and be so indoctrinated. and while it brings me comfort that radical-like feminism is the norm around the world and this queer theory isnt that prominent back home, i does freak me out that i see it being imported into the non-western world too.... it scares me to see this movement that is so incredibly sexist and homophobic keep growing. it scares me that "liberals" "leftists" "progressives" are selling all this shit as liberating and progressive when its some of the most regressive stuff ive ever seen.... i dont know how to have much hope or see a way out when even the libs&leftists have become such a big part of the problem

Yea actually the ngofication & importation of this non-sense backhome concerns me because I would have liked to see a native lesbian & gay liberation develop. This liberal NGO supported imperial BS you see backhome is only in the liberal urban city centres anyway.

Imo unfortunately in the west we’re going to have a large number of destransitioners. And this will be the internal checkpoint to bring us back to so,e level headedness. Because there’s a lot of permanent harm being done to a lot of children who obviously do not fully understand the life long consequences of the hormones and how it makes them an eternal lifelong medical patient. So in time, may be next 5-10 years I anticipate a large pushback to the liberal non-sense we’ve seen since 2010.

I think in the GS, we’re not going to see this stuff catch on. Because most of the GS communities already have gender variant communities that are not medicalized. The fafafine for instance think the western trans id is ridiculous, to them it is a weird concept to try to transition to be accepted as another sex. Because to them, you can’t change sex. For better or for worse, the third gender communities back home have an actual community role etc. which was actually afaik their roles and support systems were degraded after colonialism. But all this to say, many third genders have a social role and are accepted, and do not see themselves as women.

[skunkes]

Quastion..does the size of items in furryverse affect price. Like are mice paying 1 cent for crumb sized bag of chips vs a rhino paying 100 dollars. I feel like the economy is the worst thing to world build but I'm still curious . Like it'd have to be equal in some way or otherwise they'd all have to have like species specific currency which is way too hard to keep tabs on

Ok so im stupid and dont understand economy irl urhwjdkskf but of course thered be a price difference but id like to think it wouldnt be. Absolutely miserable to live as a poor fur who just happens to be big. If anything i thnk big price upcharges wld be for stuff like custom tailored clothing or clothing w fancier fabric bc. Its a lot of it.

Idk! Id like to think fur world is kinder than ours but thered still be limited resources right? So the money has to be charged accordingly? But what if the resources werent as limited? IDK....this is where my brain putters out im quite stupid you see. I actually actively wish i was academically smarter now solely so i cld more accurately build upon this furryverse im literally never going to do anything with HDJNDJSKD

But yeagh...idk! There obvs shld be price difference between mouse chips and elephant sized bag of chips but i also wldnt want any huge animal to be like "damn, it costs ludicrous amounts of money to feed my entire family every DAY i didnt ask to be born a huge animal this shit sucks hate my life" etc hdjsjdrhsjdjsd 😭

Like this is a world with a bit of a magic where a fox fur cld become a goat fur if they so wished so im sure theres some fair whimsical solution bt i get stuck. Thats actually also why i cant take much credit when ppl compliment me for liking to put so much thought into these things bc I get 3/4ths of em from you guys!

[anika-ann]

One Door Closes... (S.R.)

Type: one-shot, pretty much canon

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader     Word count: 2700

Summary: For Steve, your door is always open... or he thinks so. And even when it isn’t, it is.

In which one small Zoom mishap leads to an (un)usual ‘welcome home’.  

Warnings: brief mention of blood and violence, lightest angst, attempt at humour, crack-ish, fluff and language

A/N: For @anjali750, because this is totally her fault. Thank you for inspiring me :-* Have a little bit silly weekend reading, y’all!

“Tell me about it,” Steve encouraged you gently, soft smile playing in the corner of his mouth despite the pain it must be causing him due to his busted lip.

You couldn’t but grin at the lenient picture he made. Feeling blood rush to your cheeks at the thought of him probably calling you cute in his mind if his expression was anything to go by, you obliged, proceeding to tell him about the new project at work.

Your project. Because somehow, you finally earned your boss’ confidence and could bring the great ideas in your mind to life.

You felt so giddy just talking about it! So you started explaining, excitedly gesturing with your hands so Steve would get the right visual and you grew so enthusiastic that you almost forgot to keep an eye on him.

But you were watching him – always.

His lower lip was split, but already healing – it would have healed much faster if he stopped tugging at the healing skin whenever he talked or smiled at you from the screen. He looked a little drowsy, a shadow of a bruise forming on his cheek, but as far as you knew, those were the only injuries he had; that and many hours of sleep to catch up on.

Steve had a habit of calling you via Zoom whenever he got back to the Tower from a mission. He usually took a quick shower and was online until the last second before he had to leave for a debriefing; the only reason why he didn’t head straight to your place.

He admitted once that he loved seeing your face and talking to you even if for a moment after a mission, that it grounded him. On a very sappy and loveable moment, he even called you his sun; and the fact that after few minutes of being with you – as much as technology allowed – his face always seemed brighter, made you think that it truly was how he felt.

Even exhausted as he was now, you could tell his half-lidded eyes shined with life unlike when you started the call.

And so you kept rambling, feeling your heart bursting with love for your man and with euphoria, because goddammit, finally some recognition at work!

“Well, obviously, to reach as much general public as we can, we’re gonna launch a world-wide campaign! World-wide!” you emphasized with a blinding grin, throwing your hands wide to demonstrate.

---and your fingers caught in a cord from the laptop, pulling at it.

Steve’s benevolent face disappeared as your screen went black.

Because of course it did.

You had been talking yourself into buying a new laptop or at least having this one fixed for a few weeks now, because this was always the result whenever you accidently unplugged it. The battery was useless, ready to retire.

“Motherfu--- ugh!“

You wanted to be mad at the device – but this was totally on you.

Sighing, you hooked up the laptop again, waiting for it to wake up from a coma, shooting Steve an apologetic text in the meantime. Closing your eyes, you let your forehead lightly fall against your desk, mentally cursing yourself.

Dummy. If you only weren’t so lazy… and didn’t hate certain aspects of adulting with so much passion… you could have been talking to Steve-

Your eyes flew opened when it felt like it was quiet for too long; no reply to your text. Dread filled you and you quickly reached for your phone again, this time to dial.

You prayed you were wrong; but as the phone kept ringing with no one to answer it on the other end, you felt misery creep up you back and whimpered. Sliding your phone on the tabletop, your not-so-deft fingers stumbled over the keyboard, harshly welcoming it into the world of living by opening Zoom again to reconnect the call.

Your breath hitched in anticipation as the window opened---

An amused and yet somehow unimpressed face of Natasha Romanoff welcomed you and this time, you didn’t bother slowing down as your head hit the desk. It hurt, but that was only a presage of the real pain.

“Nooooooo,” you whined loudly, faking and not quite faking a sob, because shit.

“Oh yes,” Natasha hummed nonchalantly.

You straightened a bit in your chair, narrowing your eyes at her as you noticed the corners of her lips twitching while she pretended to be busy checking out her possibly-mission-broken nails.

“It’s not funny.”

She snorted and glanced at your no doubt desperate face.

“It really is. But also kinda sad,” the spy noted, something resembling concern flickering over her face before she scrunched her nose, irises twinkling. “And disgustingly cute. It has Rogers written all over it.”

You glared at her some more, not even bothering to roll your eyes.

“Tell that to my landlord,” you muttered under your breath, leaning your elbow on the tabletop and dropping your chin to you palm. A second later, a brilliant idea hit you and you tried to manipulate your legs from under you.

The thing was, even if you had a pretty good idea of what was coming if you didn’t stop it and knew that it would be a bitch to deal with, Natasha was right.

In a way, it was utterly cute, disarmingly charming and entirely heart-warming. Your stomach fluttered, the fabled butterflies flipping their wings, your face grew hot and your heart… well, it felt as if it was growing in size.

It was also sad, heart-breaking even; Steve, especially after a mission, was a man running on instincts. It was one of the reasons why he had developed a habit of calling you, why he wanted to hear you ramble about your either boring or exciting but always wonderfully normal day. A day which involved no shooting and no blood besides papercuts and a quarrel with your stubborn boss who shoot you glares at best.

On a mission, these carnal automatisms often meant survival. But back home, Steve didn’t want to be a sum of instincts of survival, fight and fear; he wanted to feel again. And with you, he did. He wasn’t just a Captain America, a soldier to be put on battlefield whenever the general found fit. He was a human being. A wonderful one at that, with beautiful soul.  

So yes. It was also rather upsetting.

And in a way, it was a little funny too. You knew it was totally your fault and that Steve was being kinda ridiculous, because he knew you and your inclination to wild gesticulations ending up catastrophically. On top of that, he was aware of this particular problem being almost a daily occurrence; hell, he tried to talk you into having Stark look at your laptop and failed.

And now... well. Here you were.

“You know, maybe if you get up and welcome him with door opened…” Natasha teased you with your own genius ides and you grinded your teeth, frantically trying to move your foot, which was pretty much on fire and yet dead.

“I would, but I… eh, pins and needles, was sitting on my feet,” you explained, embarrassed, testing whether your feet could carry you or not, naturally finding that without support, you’d be down before you could take as much as a step.

This time, Natasha didn’t snort in amusement.

Instead, she graced you with an outburst on honest full belly laughter, her red hair unfairly shiny for a woman who just spend week on a mission in damn Moldova and probably kicked more asses that you could imagine.

“You know what, Romanoff…” you grunted, forcing yourself to wobble towards the door. Very slowly. And cautiously. Knowing your luck, you might actually get hurt.

“I’m not even sorry,” she choked out and then continued to howl in laughter. “You so deserve each other. I finally know what the ‘idiots in love’ mean. Thanks for that!”

“You’re very welcome,” you huffed, voice dripping with irony.

Finally able to put full weight on both of your feet, you headed towards the exit – and entrance – of your apartment.

Halfway, you decided it was a lost cause. You would be willing to bet that the moment you’d touch the doorknob, you’d get hit to your face. It wasn’t worth it.

Yes, maybe if you did get hurt, it would make Steve think twice before coming all guns-and-shield blazing into your apartment; then again, it would probably cost you a broken nose.

Not to mention Steve’s tendency to get swallowed by the enormity of his guilt.

So not worth it. Best if you stayed put.

That was what you kept telling yourself when you stood there for about two minutes, in which you’d be able to open the door about forty times. Your annoyance – mostly with yourself and the cackling redhead – and the anticipation was becoming unbearable. As seconds ticked by, you were trying to convince yourself into taking the last few steps and opening the door and save yourself some trouble---

You yelped when the loud bang rattled your apartment the door sent flying of their hinges along with a spray of powered plaster despite knowing it was coming.

A glint of metal appeared next, the striking red, white and blue no longer there as it was covered in more bland colours for stealth missions.

And then a large figure cladded in blue shirt and grey jeans entered, his chest heaving, face flushed with red. Piercing blue eyes wiped of all previous traces of tiredness scanned the room, instantly falling on you as you awkwardly stood there, dumbfounded, startled and utterly speechless.

Also, much to Steve’s puzzlement, you were perfectly fine otherwise – even with both legs functioning, no remnants of pins and needles present.

Steve eased his posture instantly, eyes narrowing and then widening as he looked you up and down, lips parting in genuine surprise – and relief.

He said your name, clear and almost reverent, dropping the shield on the floor with a clang.

The ‘hi babe’ got stuck in your throat as you could see the tension leaving his shoulders, his eyes turning glassy and absent despite relief rolling off him in damn tsunami waves.

It hit you like a train – that you were delighted to see him, actually see him, even under these circumstances; and you truly didn’t want him to withdraw to some freaky brain-space after he had probably got one of the most ridiculous scares of his life due to the fact that his brain was not fully back in the normal world.

In the normal world where you abruptly disconnected a call without warning, because you talked too animatedly and not because some terrorist high on the FBI’s, CIA’s, NSA’s and SHIELD’s most wanted list found out you were Steve’s girlfriend and decided to take you out.

So to prevent another psychical horror trip of his, you went for distracting him – with a very relevant issue.

“You broke my door.”

Steve blinked, gaze refocusing on you fully, simply staring for a long moment.

“You went offline,” he objected quietly, a hint of accusation in his voice. God, you missed his voice.

“You broke my door, Steve.”

As if hearing his name was a spell, his frozen figure came to life and he took a cautious step closer, repeating his previous statement, this time with a hint of guilt.

“You went offline.”

“And you broke my door. That’s the second time this month, Steve! My landlords gonna k--- be real pissed at me,” you corrected yourself in the last second, not wanting say kill.

Steve ignored the slip and apparently got the message, his face twisting in genuine apology. “I’m sorry. I’ll fix it!”

With efficiency of a supersoldier, he spun on his heels and rushed to pick up the door as if it was lighter than a paperweight and swiftly put it in place.

Only for the door to slowly tilt his way again. He caught it with a loud curse and moved it aside, leaning it partly against the wall. The action sent more plaster down onto the floor, like the only truly white snow in New York City. Peripherally, you noticed Steve grimacing, his face an expression an epitome of yikes.

You let your eyes slipped shut, shaking your head with a sigh, but couldn’t but chuckle. When you looked at Steve again, he resembled a 240 pounds giant Labrador puppy, truly regretful, approaching you reluctantly as if he was afraid you would slap his big paws for being clumsy.

What he would deserve was for you to clip round his ear for impulsiveness, but could you blame him? God knew what he had seen in Moldova in the past week, what horrors he had lived through and what a nightmare his mind had created when you ‘went offline’.

Him barging in like this due to your own dumbassery was kinda sad; a prove of his demanding job full of terror.

It was cute and heart-warming, because he just cared for you that much.

It was a little ridiculous, because as Steve finally crossed the distance between you two, the head of your elderly neighbour peeked from behind the empty doorway, puzzled and rather concerned.

You snorted unattractively, the scene in front of you seeming epically hilarious all of sudden.

“I’m good, Mr. T!” you called over Steve’s shoulder after the poor man who gossiped like an old woman and was just as hospitable. “Just my boyfriend fussing because of a technology fail!”

A grin spread on his wrinkled face; a testimony to years of laughter and amiability. “Oh. Hi, Mr. America!”

“Afternoon, Mr. T! I am verry sorry for disturbing you.”

The older-looking man waved off Steve’s politeness.

“It’s fine. You keep taking care of your lady, Mr. America, and keep her safe!”

“Yes, sir,” Steve humoured him with a salute, earning a wink.

As your neighbour walked away with a fresh topic for his Sunday tea party, Steve turned his attention to you again, eyes searching, wide, apologetic – but also soft, taking in the view of you, revelling in it.

“Hi, sweetheart,” he whispered lowly, the lopsided smile you loved so much gracing his face, once again pulling at that damn split lip. You grimaced a bit, the sight of him almost brining tears into your eyes; the gentleness and the remnants of fight punching you straight in the gut.

His eyes fluttered close when you lifted your hand and traced the line of the bruise on his face with the lightest pressure you were capable of. This time, tears definitely prickled in your eyes, but you blinked them away, cupping Steve’s cheek and pulling him close.

“Oh come here, babe,” you breathed out, fingers carding through his hair as he leaned his head on your shoulder, lips brushing the crook of your neck, strong arms embracing around your form.

He was warm and big and held you a bit tighter than necessary and dammit, you loved your sweet of heart and occasionally dumb of ass boyfriend. Boyfriend, who was crazy in love with you. Sometimes with emphasis on the crazy.

“I missed you, sweetheart,” he muttered, nose nuzzling the sensitive skin of your neck, breathing in deeply. You pretended it didn’t do things to you as he did everything to get lost in you and leave all the bad behind. You failed.

“You’re totally paying for fixing my door.”

Well, maybe not failed entirely.

“Of course,” Steve assured you dutifully, no hint of humour in his voice.

It broke you on a completely new level; he was serious. Dammit you loved this man!

“I missed you too,” you finally admitted and this time, he did chuckle, squeezing you even tighter, hand running up and down your back. Without any warning, he tightened his grip and lifted you from the floor so you had to cling to him entirely, causing you to gasp.

You never got the chance to gather your wits and comment on that, because an annoyed voice of a certain redhead sounded from your laptop.

“…alright, you crazy kids, you had your cuddles. Now, Rogers, should I tell Fury you’re coming back for the debriefing or should we just finally change with the times and do it over Zoom?”

Clutching Steve’s waist and shoulder, face contentedly in his chest, you voted for the latter.

Steve Rogers masterlist

Lovely divider by whimsicalrogers​.

A fic from collection ‘This was supposed to be a drabble.’  Also, I couldn’t for the love of god figure out a better title.

I hope you enjoyed at least a bit :-*

Thank you for reading!

[wizkiddx]

was thinking for toms most recent ig story it sounds like hes working out early everyday, what if u did a blurb where the reader does it with his and its like best friend --> something else ? sounded like a you type of story, id love if you gave it a go ❤️💕

oohkay so sorry this lit just came through this evening and I suddenly got v stupidly into it (if u put in a req before that I promise I am working on it I just got way to invested cos this is stupidly cute) xxxx

summary: what starts off as tom taking you under his wing and some sunrise workouts together might just develop into something more

“It shouldn’t be legal…. to be doing anything… this fucking early!” Spoken, well yelled, in between the fake strokes of the exercise bike and your pants. All you got in response was the two men laughing at you, no sign of sympathy at all, as your gritted your teeth - fighting against every body instinct to stop the movements. Your heart was pumping like the clappers; breathing shallow and rushed and your arms… your arms felt like they were about to fall off. Combine that with the lack of sleep from waking up before the sun did at 5 am - meant you felt like your were in literal hell.  

Why ever you’d agreed to do these workouts with Tom and Duffy escaped you. Being the new and rising actress, with a new supporting role in the next Spiderman, meant you’d spent a lot of time with Tom over the past few weeks. Not to inflate his ego either, but Tom had been a real life hero to you. See, you were the complete opposite of his experienced and seasoned professionalism - this was your first acting gig. And what a gig it was, the second biggest part in a Marvel movie. You never really believed you’d get the part and even when you did, were pretty sure it was some elaborate joke, where Ant and Dec were going to jump out from some corner and go ‘ha its a prank!’ or something. 

Yet somehow it was all still happening, you had been flown halfway across the world to spend three months alone on a film set. Well obviously not alone, but you knew no one - you were a complete outsider. That, really, was the reason you’d agreed to do these sessions with Tom. He’d offered half heartedly while between takes as you were moaning about how out of breath you got in that scene. At that point, you’d only known each other for a matter of weeks, he really hadn’t expected you to commit to 5 am each and every morning. What he wasn’t aware of though, was how ocmplerly stranded and lonely you felt here, hence why you jumped at his offer. 

And yes you loved to moan and complain when you were there, however you were also so incredibly thankful he ever offered. Duffy, Tom’s PT, was a right laugh too and he took great joy in torturing you - and was also entertained by the new and inventive ways you’d insult him after he ordered you about. 

“Come on Y/n, 200m more and then we are done, even your little arms can survive that.”

“Really … not the encouragement… I was looking for.” Still panting, face bright red and blotchy as you pressed your legs straight again.

“Tom? You wanna help Y/n out?” 

“Nah you know… kind of enjoying seeing her in pain.” The British voice laughed from somewhere behind you, making you roll your eyes.

“Why the hell… are you not… torturing him?” He sounded way to comfortable and relaxed to be working hard. 

“He’s got a stunt heavy day today so wanted to go easy this morning.”

Now that was a bloody joke. You were BOTH filming the SAME scene today, doing the SAME stunts. 

“Did I forget to mention Y/n is on set too?” The joy in Tom’s voice made you want to do horrible things to him. Even though you felt like you wanted to collapse on the floor, you’d happily do a set or two on a punch bag right now - if that punch bag was Tom’s face. 

Before you could hurl some fresh abuse at your costar, Duffy called time on the rowing machine, turning the display off and passing your water bottle over as you slouched on the slidey seat. 

“Done good Y/n/n, I am actually super impressed with your progress” The stocky man patted you on the back genuinely, bringing a bit of smile to your otherwise grimacing face. He went over the chat to Tom about some boy shit that you couldn’t care less about, allowing you a couple minutes to get your breath back. As soon as you did and tried to dismount the machine of death, your ruined legs seemed to have other plans, shakily buckling so you ended up starfished on the floor, groaning at the dull ache that came with the sudden movement. 

And what show of concern did Duffy show you? A belly laugh that echoed round Toms indoor gym making you groan again, throwing your forearm over your eyes. It was in fact the curly haired brunette, who came and knelt by your side, wordlessly balling up the towel and placing it under your head as you shot your eyes open in shock. 

“You okay? Sorry… I might’ve taken our friendly competition a bit too far.”

“I just… just might have to gain the power of flight this afternoon cos my legs aren’t gonna bloody work.” Tom chuckled and shook his head at your dry humour. 

“Oh I’m sure we can talk to Jon and get that arranged… not like Marvel don’t spend years crafting the script and storyline for a newbie actor to change it all.”

“Might I remind you… they wouldn’t have to if your weren’t such a dickhead!” You exclaimed, sitting up and staring at him with an exasperated look than only made him burst out laughing again. 

“I’m sorry I’m sorry… I just cant take you seriously when you look like such a tomato!” His voice went an octave higher as he laughed at himself, the situation getting even worse for you when you heard Duffy join in too. 

The boy was bloody lucky you couldn’t lift your arms right now, otherwise they’s almost certainly be attempting to ruin his pretty boy face. 

/////////////////////////////

After a long day of shooting you and Tom were in one of the set buggies, being taken back to your trailers to change for the evening. There was a peaceful silence until Tom ruined it yet again.

“ Got any fancy plans for this evening then?”

“Well you know me, back to my lonely little old place and  frozen pizza - so living the movie star life.” 

“It’s a Friday! You not going out with your team or anything?” He sounded so bemused at your quiet plans, and mention of a ‘team’ had you cocking your head to the side. 

“‘My team?’ Tom until I get my movie star pay check I can barely afford my pizzas, never mind a whole persons wage.” You were still only three weeks into filming and although you spent an hour every other morning sweating your ass off with Tom - apart from that you’d tried not to impose yourself on him too much. You didnt want to look clingy and naturally Tom always had a mountain of people vying for his attention - you would go to the back of a long line. So honestly, you were still a bit of a mystery to him, right now you’d both only scratched the surface on each other. 

“Really? I know this is your first big job but I thought you’d have someone here?” 

“Nah… I mean I’ve kinda clung to the Marty on the camera crew but he’s going to see family tonight sooo.”

“Come back to mine. I’ve swapped Harry for his twin Sam, which is a bit of an upgrade cos Sam’s a chef. He just arrived last night. I bet he can one up any pizza you were planning on.”

“Honestly I don’t want to impose, sorry I didnt mean for this to be a pity party or-“ The buggy slowed to a stop and Tom instantly vaulted out of it, standing right infront of you and blocking you exist off the back sofa. Both of you were still in costume, Tom in latex and you in your corset-esque two piece, but then both wrapped in matching long line black jackets supplied by set. 

“No come on I’m serious… Sam’s dying to meet you and it’d be good to spend more time together. You know, cos of chemistry and all.” The last bit was a switch from his cool and smooth, normally easy going tone - into something a bit more… anxious? Just like that, before your brain even knew what it was doing, you agreed, smiling broadly and nodding. 

So barely an hour later, you were knocking on the doors to Tom’s mansion-ish rented Atlanta home which was much much more grand than what the studio had arranged for you. Even though you were here most mornings, this time it felt different. Yeh it was stupid, but you can’t help the way you feel and you were stressed. For no real reason… just, just because. 

Thankfully, it wasn’t awkward at all  and you especially instantly hit it off with his younger brother Sam. Everything just felt easy and simple which meant so much more considering you’d felt so isolated an alone halfway across the world for your home comforts. Being British too, simply chatting to the two young men about your hometown and growing up was just so familiar, it really helped you feel less homesick.  Naturally too,  you’d fallen into a casual and friendly ribbing of Tom with Sam, making the three of you spend to majority of the evening cracking up (or in Tom’s case pouting at the abuse). It was a nice change from the two on one attack you got from Tom and Duffy that morning. You’d all cooked dinner together… well no, you and Tom had stood idly watching Sam cook an amazing chicken curry dish - which he promised to give you the recipe too. Honestly Sam felt like your long lost best friend, especially when it came to your shared ability to berate Tom for anything and everything. 

About an hour ago Tom had stuck on the film, effectively shutting up you and Sam - thankfully for him since Sam was just about to get to some rather embarrassing stories of Tom as a kid. You and Tom were on the longer grey sofa; with Sam sat  the other side of the coffee table in an impressively soft armchair - looking as though it was swallowing the lanky boy. The calm, the silence and the comfort was only going to go one way for you though. After your workout this morning, plus all the running and jumping during the shoot,  after what had already been a pretty intense week, it was hardly surprising that you didn’t even notice yourself drifting off the sleep. 

Who did notice though? Perhaps your brown haired costar who’d been stealing glances across to you ever since the movie had been put on? Because as much as he hated to admit it to himself, this didnt seem to be panning out as a normal job. A normal job is something you put your all into, for a couple weeks, and then leave with good memories and a good pay check. Yes, he had only known your for a matter of weeks or so but it already seemed to be unfathomable to cut ties with you. How would he go without your kind mannered abuse everyday? You were just refreshing, new and mysterious. And Tom was more than intrigued, his interest was peaked. 

And it was stupid to feel like that…. Of course it was. You can’t fancy a colleague because things get complicated and awkward. Tom knew that. 

Then why was he now delicately draping a blanket over your frame and smiling smally when you hummed in your sleep, in what seemed to be a show of appreciation for the layer of warmth? 

Because you were his excited puppy of a costar who is giving everything she has for the job? Because he is worried and wants to look after you? Because he cares? 

No matter why, in that moment you were contented and as was Tom. Oh and Sam? 

Sam saw the tell tale signs in his brother. He saw the way Tom had been touching your arm or the small of your back just a little more than what would be considered normal while he’d been cooking. He’d seen the way Tom had been laughing purely because you had. His eldest brother never did anything rash, it was always a painfully slow process for everyone involved. But Sam thought this just might be the start of something. The start of a slow burn.

[angelstalkshit]

Any tips to deal with getting over someone ? 😬

yes, lots lol! So after my first terrible heart break, my friend told me some rly good advice. She said "You just gotta make new memories to replace the old ones," and if you have a good friend or two, this should happen easily :) Try to have as much fun with others as you can!!!

That's most important to initially move on from someone i think. But i think it also helps if you're reeeaalllyy stuck on em, to identify the reasons why you liked them, as it sort of erases the illusion that they are "the special one and only," and takes them off the pedestal they were once sitting upon in your mind. Maybe you always like people who can be there for you emotionally, or maybe they reminded you of a parent you love dearly, etc. Try to identify any patterns you can recognize within your situations. Like when you tend fall for someone-- if it's after you start having sex with them, or if they start talking to you everyday, etc. This all gets easier to do as more experiences happen though. And more experiences will happen, you also mustn't forget that.

If you find yourself feeling lost or confused for too long, even a therapist would be suitable for this situation! Especially if you feel like you are in potential danger (self harming, su**ide, being manipulated or otherwise harmed by the person u are trying to get over). They exist to help us sort through the clutter and find the keys to open the doors we need to open in our lives!! And you can simply have one or two sessions to figure something out, and move on.

Depending on how hard it is for you, the time of getting over someone will vary. Emotions require time to process, as well as presence. So be present with yourself, allow yourself to feel the feels but make it your main goal to move on with your own life, because you deserve to be the main character in it. And definitely reach out to someone you can trust for help if you need to talk shit, cry, get perspective, or find new solutions.

wow i knew that would be a lot but i hope it isn't too much to take in hahaha, good luck but also you got this.

🖤🌪💫

[stardustzz]

Hellraiser First Watch

I went in blind, though since I had just binged several classic slasher movie series, I was somewhat expecting something in the slasher genre. That is not what I got, at all. I was confused and a bit bored in the middle; it is a slower movie by today's standards. Once things kicked into gear around when Kirsty found Frank, I was into it and having a good time. Afterwards I thought about it, started putting together the plot and themes, and said huh, not what I thought I was getting but great movie. Very different from much of the standard 80’s horror stuff I’ve seen.

Then I binged all of the sequels not knowing how bad it would get. Yep... quick-ish thoughts on all of them, having only seen them once thus far:

(Long post is long)

Hellraiser: Fascinating once I saw it for what it was. Love it. The special effects were awesome. Gods, I love old school practical effects, and I was impressed with Hellraiser’s. Unlike what I expected, the villains were not the Cenobites, contrary to the vibes Pinhead is giving on the cover, all snarly. Pinhead was very controlled, regal even, with some of the best lines in that commanding, awesome voice. No snarling. The bad guys were the humans. Frank and Julia brought the insanity down on and ultimately destroyed the family. Fan of Kirsty gimme that box, Steve! You don’t know what you’re doing! Cotton. Final Girls tend to be high schoolers/teenagers, so I found it refreshing that Kirsty is in her early 20s. It’s never specified but that's how I read it. The bit that struck me was “This is not for your eyes.” Pinhead prevents Frank from stabbing Kirsty, then gives her a chance to spare herself from the horror of what comes next? That just stuck with me.

Hellbound: I knew what I was getting into this time, and I love this one too. The practical effects were great again. Skinless Julia was just gorgeous. There's a whole other dimension with cube God Leviathan? The Cenobites were human? That is exactly my jam. Give me all of the lore and worldbuilding potential. More please. Frank is still gross, and Julia has fully embraced the dark side, hasn’t she? They can both stay in their cells. I don’t quite understand what was going on with Channard. He got Cenobite-ified and just went on a rampage. Kirsty, the picture, and Pinhead; it was this sudden shift in how he sees himself and how they see each other and all these subtle emotions between them. I need to watch that scene like ten more times. Then Channard showed up and Pinhead, the iconic face of Hellraiser, just… died. Didn’t expect that. I read later that Julia was supposed to be the primary antagonist of the series going forward, which explains why that happened. Then fans decided no thanks! We’ll take the Lead Cenobite.

HR3: Aw, no Kirsty, just Pinhead stuck in stone. Like a gargoyle or some shit. They had to bring him back to life somehow. Terri was totally gay for Joey; you cannot convince me otherwise. The whole Pinhead/Elliot, ego/id soul split was explained, but Pinhead's change in characterization was still very jarring. I was thinking “what Hollywood exec got their mits on this and went slasher with it?” Ironic considering I watched HR1 expecting slasher. Not as good as the first two but also not bad IMO. I think it would have been more emotionally impactful if it had been Kirsty, considering her and Pinhead’s history.

HR4: Gods, why were they in space? That was some Jason X bs, except I liked Jason X because it was wonderfully ridiculous. HR4 was not. So the box, a literal gateway to another plane of existence, was built by some 17th century French toymaker? That is anticlimactic. The Christian-y rituals and demon stuff was not it. There’s been Christian imagery in the movies, but please don’t go full Christian mythology. Pinhead still felt more HR3 rather than HR1&2 though he's supposed to be merged back together. He’s not nearly as interesting when he’s been dumbed down to just another movie bad guy. If I remember right, there was some cliche villain-stroking-a-cat except it was a pigeon.

HR5: I was so confused until the very end. I liked the psychological horror vibe as a departure from whatever HR4 was. The time loop torture used on the main character cop guy, I don’t even remember his name, was different from the usual getting ripped apart with chains. Dude deserved it. I’m not sure it’s Hellraiser, and I think I read somewhere the script wasn’t written to be Hellraiser, so that’d explain a lot. 

HR6: This one felt like HR5 with the psychological horror vibe again. Except there’s like five minutes of Kirsty, and oh, she murdered some folks. I can with confidence say Trevor sucks, did not deserve Kirsty. Pinhead was having none of his crap.

HR7: Deaders. Could you have picked a stupider name for your death cult? There was more lamerchant stuff. It was boring in HR4, and it’s more boring now. The reporter main character died, but didn’t, then killed herself? I still don't really know what the plot was, but I don’t care much.

HR8: Oh. We're doing the video game/meta thing? That’s a dumb premise, and I didn’t really want to watch this one, but I did. I was cringing so hard. Is that Henry Cavill? Is that Lance Henriksen? I don’t remember any of the characters’ names. I don’t even remember who lived and who died. I spent the movie thinking what is happening, is it a video game but also real? Oh, they're on drugs. There are ways to make a good meta film(Wes Craven's New Nightmare) Hellworld is not one of them.

HR9: Hey, that's not Doug Bradley! It's not the actor’s fault he looks like that, but every time he was on screen, I was taken out of the movie so hard. Was this supposed to be a remake? A reboot? Either way it fell on its face. Completely missed the themes, intricacies, and meaning of HR1. It was just your standard people trapped and being terrorized by a murderer, plus some incest for shock value. I guess it was for shock value. Don’t makeout with your brother, folks. According to Wikipedia, HR9, and 10, was made just so the studio would keep the rights. That never goes well. See Fantastic Four (2015).

HR10: Gods dammit. I nearly turned this one off a few times. What happened to the fascinating, wonderful universe set up in HR1 & 2? Don't do the angels and demons/heaven versus hell thing. It's so old, tired, and overdone and not what Hellraiser is. Leave that song and dance to John Constantine and the thousand+ Christian mythology movies. The best part was that angel chick getting shredded. I hope there's not a direct sequel.

After all that, I have henceforth decided to ignore everything after HR3 because, as I like to say, have you heard of our lord and savior: Fuck Canon? I do what I want.

Wanting some fan discussion and meta, I did a Tumblr dive. It’s not something I do often because many “fans” of things are crazy. My last dive was for Netflix’s She-Ra and yikes was that was a bloodbath. I found some good Hellraiser content and blogs, and I have been combing through them. I think I’ve learned quite a bit. The HR franchise is all kinds of a mess, isn’t it? Speaking as a newcomer.

I do know about the Spyglass movie and HBO series. I don’t know much about Spyglass’ record, but Hulu is part of that project, and I’ve heard some good things about their originals. I  haven’t had Hulu in years, before they started doing originals, so I could be wrong. HBO has made some bad and some yikes content. They have made some genuinely good stuff too. Reboots/remakes are a crapshoot. Maybe we’ll get something good or maybe we’ll get more crap. I’ll be more surprised if either project turns out good than if they’re both crap. I doubt they’ll both somehow be good.

I’m also trying to get my hands on the 90s comic run. Heard good things about those, as opposed to !Boom.