#otp: i never want him to go away

[singingcicadas]

Megatron's Opposite Day

"I free slaves"

This is Soundwave binding Ratbat but seeing as Megatron did the same thing to Pentius by putting his spark into Trypticon and reformatted Rumble and Frenzy into cassettes against their will I think he approves a lot of this practice

Megatron on Optimus and humans, after his defeat in All Hail Megatron ⬇️

he really salty

"I implant ideology" aka brainwashing

Decepticon cause = Megatron. nuff said.

"I liberate cities" says the person who let Nyon burn to make a point

Cities are too small, think bigger

Holding New York hostage.

"Like Autobots, they believe in the sanctity of life" which he doesn't. Kudos for being honest.

Allowing troops to do free-rein massacre is a reward for conquest. Nothing like some easy murder for de-stressing.

The Simanzi massacre which halved the Cybertronian population is off-screen so it doesn't deserve its own pic

"The revolution"

"We only feel good when we stand with a blade in one hand and a throat in another" "Let's make the entire face of the planet into our new gladiator arena"

What nice, confidence-inspiring revolutionaries. I'm sure they'll rule the population with benevolence after they've killed all the Necessary People with Necessary Violence. Final interpretation of what constitutes as Necessary is reserved for the sole discretion of Megatron, ofc.

Good goals.

Sentinel might be an absolute asshole but at least he's got one thing right: they're literally a gang of thugs who gets high off murder.

"The people are my utmost concern"

'The people': ................

"Battling for freedom"

Freedom of what? Function? Autonomy?

Religion?

the ability to choose whether to fight? on which side to fight?

Idk why they used the word "pogrom" for this, it's way too specific

Anyways it doesn't matter, they won't be missed.

Good for Bumblebee for calling him out. Screenshotted this just to appreciate Megatron's bitchy face ⬇️

Other urban legends:

"Megatron loves Cybertron" let's just burrrrn it

He did fight to save Cybertron in Chaos Theory but also made it pretty clear why he did it. It's not out of the goodness of his heart or any sentimental reasons like that. It's an ego/dominance thing.

Plus his wording when he's trying to convince Optimus to let him go with the Lost Light: "I broke the planet. And that, Optimus, is why I owe it to you - to everyone - to find a replacement."

Replacement.

In other words: I made a mess and can't be bothered to clean it up, so I want to get away from it and find somewhere new to start clean.

I don't think Optimus appreciates the favour.

"Megatron tore down a corrupt government" which is true, just too bad that he's worse

He's also, um, a closeted Zeta admirer?

"Megatron advocates equality" ???

Megatron x dictatorship is literally his OTP. They were inseparable for four million years. A lot of people died trying.

"Megatron cares about the Decepticons" no he doesn't. Not his troops nor its cause.

Like for one thing he treats them with complete scorn

Admits that the most useful thing about keeping Starscream around is that he can bully underlings into line

Wants to use the humans' nuke to get rid of his troops and reformat them into peaceful drones after they outlive their use because they were "too ruthless" for his perfect peaceful society

Has zero scruples about fighting Deceptigod, just affronted that his own soldiers are being used against him

And basically just drops the Decepticons like a bag of vermin after he surrenders. He never once mentions them of his own accord, other than to insist he has nothing to do with them. Even his surrender speech is something Optimus makes him do as exchange b/c he wants to go on parole. He wasn't planning on making a public address otherwise, he was just going to leave them hanging.

Looking at the publication timeline, Megatron started out as an established Evil McEvilson-type villain similar to how he is in G1 and it's not until Chaos Theory in 2011 that JRo really gave him a sympathetic backstory that drew his characterization away from the bloodthirsty pugno ergo sum warlord into someone who once held ideals about societal reform and remains convinced of his own moral supremacy throughout the 4 mill years of death and war, adding worldbuilding such as Functionism/oppression/government corruption as justification for the beginning of the Decepticon movement. But because the start of the Decepticons was already written in Megatron Origins and every evil thing he'd done up till Chaos Theory can't be retracted and they had to keep Megatron as a villain until his story was no longer central to the Autobot-Decepticon war line, and JRo didn't try to downplay the atrocities he'd committed (some of the most sadistically disturbing things Megatron did were exclusively in MTMTE flashbacks), but rather tried to distance him from them and placed the focus on the juxtapositions to emphasize change, this as a whole just resulted in Evil McEvilson getting turned into Hyper McHypocrite.

[saintsenara]

Thoughts on remadora?

thank you very much for the asks, anons!

while they are by no means my otp, i really enjoy remadora as pairing - and i think they’re fully up there among the canon couples in terms of being an amazing vehicle through which to explore all sorts of questions about life and love - which i am aware is a sufficiently controversial statement that it involves an immediate engagement with some discourse…

because remadora girlies [gender neutral] get an enormous amount of shit within the fandom, particularly from fans who consider wolfstar to be a more plausible pairing for lupin than tonks. i have seen remadora shippers called homophobes for simply enjoying the couple, justified with the bizarre idea that it disrespects remus' relationship with sirius [so... the non-canon one?] to put them together. i have seen tonks turned into a pathetic shrew who is trying to keep remus from the real love of his life by trapping him with an unwanted baby. i have seen remadora shippers get a lot of the usual stuff that people who prefer the canon-endgame couples do [that to ship a canon pair is boring, that it is indicative of a lack of talent, that it indicates an uncritical support for jkr] magnified to eleven because tonks has the temerity to be a barrier to remus’ relationship with the fandom’s favourite hot and brooding man.

obviously, this is bullshit - primarily because its unreasonable and cruel to invest so much time and energy being mean to people because of their harry potter shipping preferences [fandom should never be that deep].

but it’s also a disappointment to me personally because it means that it can be very hard to find the sort of remadora i like without looking like i’m coming to contribute to the pile-on. because where many remadora fans and i don’t see eye-to-eye is that i have absolutely no interest in thinking about them as a relationship which is actually functional. and, all too often, i find myself sifting through fics which do prefer to interpret them like this - as romantic and passionate and stable - largely, i think it’s fair to say, as a defensive move against the tide of “urgh, imagine shipping that” nonsense - even though all the evidence of canon is that they are… very much not.

i am aware of the pottermore article which smoothes the edges of lupin’s canonical reaction to tonks’ feelings for him in half-blood prince - but, while i read this as something of a retcon to make the relationship more palatable, i also don’t think that assuming that both tonks and lupin’s attraction to each other was sincere precludes them being as dysfunctional as they canonically are. i don’t go in for the common anti-remadora argument that tonks “forces” him into a relationship with her - it’s clear in half-blood prince that it’s not only her who has discussed her feelings with molly and arthur weasley, lupin is definitely flirting with her when they pick harry up in order of the phoenix, lupin is an adult man [no matter other power imbalances between him and tonks - such as the fact that she is an agent of the state which oppresses him] who possesses the capacity to refuse her advances, and - since teddy’s conception is not immaculate - he has no issue with enjoying a sexual relationship with her even if he then wants to run away from the product of that.

instead, what i like with remadora is that they reveal something which goes against the grain of the rest of the series: that love is not always enough. throughout the seven-book canon, we see time and time again the idea that love - and, crucially, love-as-noble-suffering and love-as-sacrifice - is enough to overcome any problem. entire civil service collaborating with a terrorist regime? don’t trouble yourself, love has won. your mother dying in childbirth leaving you to be neglected in a state institution? your own fault you’re not interested in love.

i understand the genre reasons for this, but i also love the way in which lupin especially exists on the margins of these genre conventions [just as he exists on the margins of wizarding society!]. i’m always struck in deathly hallows that he’s the only person who’s actually realistic about the demands of war - particularly when he tells harry that it is breathtakingly naive for him to think he can get through the fighting without having to shoot to kill - and that part of him having to be shuffled out of the way when harry tells him to return to the pregnant tonks is because, were the story focused on realism, the idea that a wanted man who is considered an unhuman by the state fleeing in order to guarantee the safety of his wife and unborn child becomes eminently reasonable and harry's defense of the nuclear family embarrassingly unradical.

and so i like the idea of lupin seeing tonks - and tonks seeing lupin - initially as just a bit of fun, as the two of them being just two chill single people who think the other is hot and interesting and want to bang because of it.

[which is something fandoms in general really struggle with as a concept. we like epic love stories - and you won't find me objecting to that! - but we're less good at thinking about casual sexual attraction or transient friendships, and how these can be transformative and meaningful without having to end up going any sort of distance.]

and i then like the idea of the relationship being forced into a profundity it doesn’t really have the juice to sustain by the sheer avalanche of grief which besets the two of them - sirius, dumbledore, mad-eye, ted - and by the pressure of the war and the fact that the order is scrambling and the hangover of remus' self-destruction in half-blood prince which makes each cling to the other as a life-raft. i like remadora as something codependent and messy and strange and sad, and i don’t think this prevents it being sincere and fun and based in mutual attraction, but instead that these positive qualities can exist in conjunction with the fact that, without the war, it would have been a summer of fucking and that was probably it.

on tonks herself, i don’t think i can say it better than @evesaintyves in this meta on her character. i’ve been really uncomfortable with quite a lot of stuff i’ve seen recently which has taken against the idea that tonks can be meaningfully read as queer on the basis of what we find in the text, above all because it so often comes with the implication that one cannot imagine her in her canon endgame pairing and presume that she’s something other than straight or cisgender. eve sets out an excellent case for tonks as bolshy and liberated and in tune with herself and fun and confused and in flux and still figuring stuff out about who she is and where she’s going - and this translates, may i say, to an astonishingly beautiful way of writing her, lupin, and the dysfunction inherent between them which i highly recommend you read.

[bri-cheeses]

I saw this thing on pinterest that was like “What would your otp do at an aquarium blah blah blah” and I immediately imagined Evan rattling away countless facts about whales but he’s speaking in a monotone the entire time, and Barty’s just over here looking at him with heart eyes. And the other people slowly start edging away from them because they’re just a little worried because to a stranger that’s never met them before, it’s a very weird exchange to witness. Especially once Evan starts talking about the anatomy of whales and how he would go about dissecting one, and how’s he’s always wanted to do it ever since he was a little kid. But to anyone who knows them it’s a perfectly normal exchange (they’re just a little unhinged, that’s all)

[celaenaeiln]

can i know your thoughts on the “typical” nightwing ships (him with wally, roy, slade, kory, babs, apollo/midnighter, etc etc)?

ofc! <333

As a multishipper I literally love almost all of these

Wally

The softest ship ever! Reading about them is so cute. All cuddles and snuggles, and full on comfort.

It's the best friends to lovers trope

Haven't read about them in a really long while but they used to be my comfort ship. Like these two are so soft each other that they just make me feel warm inside.

Roy

Roydick is my spicy birdflash ship. Their chemistry was more heated with them constantly getting into arguements but falling together again. Going back to the comics I realize that Roy hero-worships Dick and that's why they get into so many fights. Roy literally thinks Dick is too perfect

There's this post about them which provides comic panels about Roy constantly comparing himself to Dick

But mostly Roy wants all of Dick. He wants Dick's 100% attention of them and he hates-HATES-that Dick gives everything to Batman. It drives him so mad because he thinks Batman doesn't deserve any of Dick's attention.

Literally tells Batman- you ain't shit. I feel bad Dick had to deal with you. He doesn't deserve it for all the greatness he is.

Roy wants all of Dick and that's where I ship them including their complicated issues. What makes their relationship so great is their problems. Neither of them will compromise (Dick won't let go of Bruce and Roy won't let go of that issue), but after all the screaming and fighting they still fall back together.

It's Dick that Roy goes to every time he has to deal with Cheshire.

Additional post:

>:> hehe

Ollie has the biggest grin on his face XD

Slade

My OTP LETS GO

Bruh I am so into them.

My post on why they were made for each other

YEA YEA YEAHHHHHH

Slade literally used the steam of Dick's shower to write a message in his bathroom mirror.

okay.

I am obsessed with Slade's obsession with Dick.

I love how in one comic Dick is literally just listing everything that's wrong with his life and Deathstroke is just standing there actively listening with his arms crossed.

He's never gonna give up that apprentice agenda.

Kory

Kory!! I LOVE DICKKORY SO MUCH!!!

When I think of love, they are the epitome of it. I didn't know it was possible to feel love through paper until I saw them. One look at the chemistry is overwhelming.

"Questions about what's right and what's not, I'll always have them. Questions about my loving you? No! I do. Very much."

Dickkory love is stronger than Dick's moral ethics and Dick's moral ethics?

I've never seen Dick love anyone as much as he did Kory. There are issues that came up ofcourse. I'm pretty sure there was an anti-alien sentiment among the general public (real life?) that affected them and on top of that the Batman office wanting Dick back so they just ripped him away from the titans and rewrote a whole new love story for them while trashing Kory for it but when the public's reaction and Dick's "he's so perfect everyone wants him so let's play around with love interests for him" aside, they were the king and queen of love.

What I love about their relationship is Dick loved Kori for who she was, not how she looked. And Kori loved Dick for who he was and not how he looked. On both sides, sometimes all people see of them are their beauty not their personality or strengths or being.

Barbara

Barbara. The reason I held off on writing this.

My feelings about Barbara are complicated.

She and Dick used to be my OTP. I loved them so much I actually hated Kori for a bit, thinking that Barbara was so much better-when I was solely in the fandom. But oh how the table have turned. Very recently the feather broke the camel's back so my feelings about the two of them have changed.

Long story short, they're better off friends. But my favorite moments come from mostly short haired Barbara comics.

This Barbara was AWESOME. She was so chill and cool and funny. She would be smart but not in a demeaning way to others.

Also Batgirl 2000 comic Dickbabs was so sweet (below)

Apollo/Midnighter

love them!

I think Midnighter would totally seduce Dick into a frenemies with benefits arrangement. I mean he's halfway there.

But aside from the usual flirting, Midnighter really, really, REALLY respects Dick's fight skills. I'm sure you've seen the panels of that already but since posts have a 30 image limit I'mma skip over that to the other reason: his greater-that-meta-human tenacity. Things and circumstances that take out metahumans, Dick surpasses through sheer will power and dedication.

So I mostly ship Dick/Midnighter but Apollo would probably join in too at some point.

Constantine

Never getting over how John-I don't do things I don't have to-Constantine saved someone because their body was hot and and their butt looked good. But later on in the comic he talks about how cool he was and what he describes Dick as is when asked about him is:

Additional exchange:

Tiger

His relationship with Tiger is AWESOME!!

It reminds me of his batman Dick relationship with Damian. Snarky and affectionate.

I ran out of image space :'0

But Dick basically gets Tiger-Spyral's number 1 and most loyal spy-to abandon the agency they work for, turn coat, and hunt them down to burn the oragnization into the ground instead. They're literally so funny. I loved Dick and Damian's cute banter and Tiger is just Damian aged up but meaner lol.

[anxiousnerdwritings]

since we on the ropic of sibling reader can you imagine how pissed bruce + batfam (and alfred, to a degree) would be if like talia ever did get with sibling!reader, she'd be smug af bcuz if bruce's sibling lives in the manor, it gives her a chance to see her love and her ex in one trip. cut to damian standing in the back conflicted that his uncle/aunt has the chance to become another mom/dad but also looking at his mother like "why are you dating my uncle/aunt 😦🤨"

can you imagine tho bruce throwing an aggressive fit if his sibling chooses to date Hal of all people?? Clark, Diana? He's sees the appeal tbh; he won't be too happy, but he sees the vision. Oliver, Dina? another pair of 'sees the appeal'. But Hal???? no no no bruce is shutting that shit down and fast. Barry is really the only safe option and even then he can quite literally sweep his sibling off their feet and away from the safety of the manor.

i want to imagine that the kids feel very strongly against this but also play matchmaker yk?? like some do it to piss bruce off (mainly jason, damian) and a few others do it for the drama (steph + cass by association, dick). the rest are a mix of both.

Talia totally takes pleasure in rubbing it in Bruce’s face that she’s with his sibling now and she loves seeing Bruce affected by it. He’s not jealous that she’s with someone else, let alone his sibling, honestly he couldn’t care less about that. No, it’s the fact that his sibling is in a relationship in general. Bruce is very much the type who thinks that no one is worthy of being with his sibling and no matter what they will never meet his standards for being a romantic partner to his beloved sibling who more than deserves the world and everything else. Not to mention Bruce knows damn well that Talia plans to take the Reader with her eventually and he’s having none of that.

I could kind of see Damian actually wanting the Reader to be more of a mother/father to him, they already act like one to him so why not officially become his second mom/dad. It wasn’t really until Talia was very open with her romantic intentions towards the Reader that had Damian really leaning towards making it all happen. I could also see Damian being very bratty and extremely jealous thinking of the Reader becoming a parent and having a family of their own that didn’t include him. As far as he’s concerned his aunt/uncle is already like another mom/dad to him and to have their focus and affections being taken off of him really irritates and frustrates him to no end. But when Talia mentions offhandedly about taking the Reader home with her, all bets are off and he’s fighting to keep them with him and Bruce. Unless the Reader was actually willing to go with Talia and start a life with her and the League of Assassins then Damian may be willing to go with them, not only to keep an eye on the Reader but also to stay with them as well.

All the batkids have their own OTP ships for the Reader and they would definitely play matchmaker to make it come true. Mush to Bruce’s horror and disdain. His own kids are going against him when it comes to the Reader’s love life. While he believes they shouldn��t have one whatsoever, the kids have their own ideas of what the Reader’s love life should really be. Also, this is all totally happening behind the Reader’s back without their knowledge. And I have no boyfriend that all the Reader’s suitors have and will continue to make impromptu and uninvited visits to the manor to see and spend time with the Reader. Whether the romantic yanderes were in actuality invited by/planned with the respective Baylis shipping them with the Reader or they came of their own accord to be around the Reader is debatable. But it certainly gets on Bruce’s nerves. Hell, even Alfred has his own ship of who the Reader should end up with adding more towards the betrayal Bruce feels with everyone in the batfamily going against him like this.

Just imagining Bruce’s reaction to Hal pulling up to the manor to take the Reader out on a date is so hilarious. I can’t help but see him being the one to answer the door only to slam it in Hal’s face when he sees him. If the Reader is adamant about going out with Hal then Bruce would totally be sat on their bed the whole time they’re getting ready trying to persuade them to cancel or at least go for someone else other than Hal. Bruce just Turing into a bratty sibling is just too funny not to think about. He definitely glares daggers at Hal the whole time he’s there. The only compromise Bruce could come to is either having the Reader and Hal’s date at the manor so it can be monitored or the date turning into a double date with Bruce and either Selina or some random woman he takes out just so he can keep an eye on his precious sibling. (I can’t help but imagine not only Bruce but the rest of the batfamily dressed in hilarious disguises spying on the Reader and whoever they’re on a date with. Or even the respective yandere’s rival suitors doing the same thing too.)

If you think Bruce’s reaction to his sibling dating Hal is bad, imagine how he takes to learning the Reader is going out with Guy Gardner.

[nyxreads]

"Azriel's shadow dance around Gwyn's breath = ENDGAME"

I'm quite tired of this, it's been three years now. Do people understand that Azriel is not his shadows? Azriel's shadows caress Feyre's cheek and neck the first time they met, was it romantic? Because it's more intimate than the shadows dancing around Gwyn's breath.

The more important matter is how AZRIEL reacts towards Elain rather than how his shadows (which, I might note, made sure Elain got back safely after their interaction thinking Az rejected her. Shadows that coiled like snake, ready to defend Elain, because Nesta insulted her. Shadows that helped Az presenting the gift for Elain.) acts towards Elain.

And how does Azriel act around Elain?

Azriel doesn't need his shadows to read Elain, meaning he can read her. He understand her. (In CC, we found that shadows disappears when the person is happy and comfortable, plus even Az's shadows skitters away from him when he laughs)

Azriel waited for Elain to give her offer and permission.

Azriel knew Elain doesn't want Lucien and is very uncomfortable around his mate.

Azriel sat down with her during the longest night of the year, just talking.

Azriel was relaxed around Elain while she's presenting him her plans for the garden

Azriel was ready to risk his own life to save Elain.

It was Azriel who figured out she was missing, Azriel who figured out her powers and freed her from all the confusion she was experiencing

Azriel never let go of Elain even though she's alright and he was the one bleeding, he needed to be sure she'd be taken care of first

Azriel always reaches out for Elain.

Azriel bought her a present, bought the necklace thinking of ELAIN, and doesn't care if the necklace was given to another priestess as long as he get rid of it because it reminds him of pain

Azriel lend the TT (the one thing he never let anyone touches) to Elain, trusting her with it and wanting her to have a protection

Azriel followed Elain's laugh, wondering what had caused it.

Azriel was affected by Elain and Lucien's mating bond to the point where he cannot even stand in the same room with them together

Azriel wants Elain. Not just because of lust, but because maybe, after 500 years he already found his home.

Idk about you, but if I ever read Rhysand or Cassian wanting to taste another woman before ending up with their mate? Think about it.

If the only argument is about the shadows, then maybe ship the shadows and Gwyn? not Azriel and Gwyn? Since most people are convinced crackship=OTP, why not we make the real OTP, #ShadoWyn? Because Azriel, on the only POV we got so far from him, wasn't interested romantically to Gwyn. No, he never even considered her as a friend. Gwyn never even showed she's attracted to him, she blushed for Rhysand not for Az.

If these readers aren't even concerned about Elain's feelings and hated her so much, then I guess, they should just consider Azriel's wants and needs? Because it is Elain. He found his happiness with her. Feyre even pointed out that he never heard such a deep and joyous sound from him until Elain.

There's no need to deny every Elain and Azriel interaction throughout the series over the last 10% of a bonus chapter. It makes one think most people never read the actual books but place so much value over a chapter that wasn't available for everyone.

The POV ended up with a cliffhanger. But it never ended Elriel because it was all just a beginning, their book is yet to come and by then I hope everyone is ready to accept what SJM has been hinting us from ACOMAF until ACOSF. No need to twist texts or take every parallel that are out of context, no need to call Elriels crazy and throw out degrees. Just simply read the series with open mind, and maybe tone down the Elain hate? Okay bye.

[dangermousie]

Finished.

God, what a glorious, glorious, glorious ride, a truly solid epic drama in a way I haven't seen in a very long time - there were two other flawless cdramas for me this year - Lost You Forever 1 and The Ingenuous One - but TIO was a smaller scale story and LYF ended in medias res. AJTL was the only complete, epic cdrama this year for me, but oh boy, was it beyond.

First, my two tiny niggles - this is a drama where the 40 episode limit fit badly, like tightly pinching shoes. You can tell how they had to speed and cram to get in the resolutions of dynastic struggles in An and Wu and the war with Beipan. This drama really needed to have been 50 eps. (The cramming also resulted in the sole plot arc that made me go huh - LTG random decision to try to marry Ruyi before he rides off to what he thinks is his last battle and his just as random decision to go "oh well" and agree to release NYZ and then when NYZ shows up before he can be released because he broke out and wreaks havoc, let them walk out. Maybe if they had more time, it would have made more sense, otherwise it felt like an aberration in a character arc that before and after was consistent and made sense.) Second niggle is not really one because it's clearly due to censorship - the last minute redemption of the Wu emperor etc - the writer made is as believable as she could but you could feel the censorship sticky hands all over it.

But those are minor complaints. Overall this was solid from beginning to end, very adult and with secondary characters who all felt real and complex and interesting. A few thoughts:

Our main OTP was incredible. So adult, so competent, so badass but still feeling human. I bought that those two were larger than life legends AND flesh and blood people. And that chemistry!

I loved that this drama allowed relationships to be messy. Yes, we have our epic main couple but I especially loved what happened with Chu Yue and Shisan and LTG and Ying. I loved that neither was an epic romance. With CY and Shisan, I loved that they didn't make him realize he loves her forever blah blah - he was an incredibly consistent character - charming, loyal and utterly clear he's incapable of permanent commitment to a single woman and she never could change that. And yet he died in large part to protect her, and it's in keeping with his character and it makes sense that this solidified her remembering him forever - he's not just the one who got away, but he DIED for her. It's very clear if they both lived, this would have gone nowhere and ended with him wandering off or her moving on wanting commitment from someone who is capable of it, but as it is, it froze the possibility of love in ember.

And I loved the narrative of LTG and Ying. They both come into marriage in love with someone they can never have (Ruyi and YL), they both have similar backgrounds (royals but neglected and looked down upon), they both share the same goals (power but to take care of people) and they really are friends. I love that when we last see them, they have what is a great period marriage - no love but respect and common goals. And she still mourns YL and he probably still thinks of Ruyi but the thing is, I love that the narrative leaves the possibility of them eventually falling in love with each other (or other people) because as she tells him - you think you will always love a particular person but life is long. (And it's so true - she will remember YL until she's old, once again in part because of the unfulfilled possibility of it - but it doesn't mean she won't be able to open her heart to someone again.) It's a surprisingly hopeful ending for them and I love it. I'd totally watch a show where they discover love with each other tbh.

I did love that no character (except possibly Prince Danyang) got everything they wanted even if they emerged alive. They got some and had to give up some.

I loved what it had to say about having to be worthy of your power and position - you are not owed fealty by birth but you have to earn it. It was a surprisingly anti-imperial show for a recent cdrama.

All the deaths of our faves gutted me, none as much as Yuan Lu's. Oooof.

As to the ending, I can tell people are gonna have fits but I like it. I love many an ending legendarily reviled in cdrama fandom (Princess Agents and Novoland Eagle Flag have perfect endings in my opinion; I realize that opinion, especially about PA is enough to get me throttled in certain quarters but it is what it is) and I came to cdramas back when pretty much every costume cdrama ended horrifically tragically - think of the endings of the Chinese Paladins, The Myth (for a long time my n1 drama even though it made me cry so hard I threw up, ending-wise), The Young Warriors, Little Fairy, even Lan Ling Wang, Glory of the Tang Dynasty and Bu Bu Jing Xin if we are going somewhat later. I mean, one of my favorite dramas ever is Royal Nirvana and that ending is like drinking a thermos full of depression. This is nothing.

Honestly, I would have been fine if the ending for our OTP really was them dying pretty much together, in their different battles. That hint that they are alive and living with their kids is lovely and welcome, but I'd have been fine without it and it raises a lot of questions (though if anyone could fake their deaths and survive that sort of thing, it would have been them so fair enough.)

Anyway, this is basically my love letter to this drama. It was amazing and I am so glad I watched it.

[lavellenchanted]

💛 & OTP: I want the whole damn thing

💛 Reunion Kiss/Relief

Jackson's an interminably long board meeting when it happens, trying to make sense of the world's most boring financial presentation, so he doesn't immediately notice the news bulletin popping up on his phone. It's only when they start hearing voices in the corridor and someone runs past the board room window that they all start to realise something's going on, and Jackson suddenly catches sight of the blinking red notification on his phone screen.

"Multi-car pile up," he explains shortly to the board, already on his feet and heading for the door, scrolling down for more information. "I'm guessing we're the nearest hospital - it's gonna be all hands on deck, so if you're qualified to hold a scalpel, get down to the pit."

(Frank, still holding the clicker for his presentation, looks thoroughly relieved that his only qualification is in accountancy.)

Halfway down the corridor, Jackson stops dead. A cold shiver run down his spine and it feels like his stomach has dropped out of him entirely as he sees the location of the accident. That's April's route to work.

Immediately he brings up her number and dials - but it goes straight to voicemail, and he wants to be sick. He shoots her off a quick text and then tries ringing again and again as he heads down to the E.R.

Each time it goes to voicemail.

He tries to tell himself not to panic. The phone lines are probably horrendously busy with people trying to contact emergency services or friends and family to make sure they're alright, and April not answering might just mean she's not looking at her phone. She's probably trying to help, if she is near there.

He tells himself that, but all he can think of is Ben calling him, telling him he was going to have to perform a C-section on April in her kitchen, of April quarantined behind glass, of watching April on the operating table of Grey-Sloan.

(How much luck can one person have?)

"Pick up, damn it!" he shouts as her voicemail message plays again, and a nurse passing jumps in fright.

"Dr Avery? Is everything okay?"

"I'm sorry, I'm just - I'm worried about my wife."

The word slips out automatically, and it's only after he says it that he remembers that, technically, April isn't his wife any more. Because he was stupid enough to divorce her. They're not even dating, despite the fact that they've been living together since they came to Boston, are raising Harriet together.

And yet he never really stopped thinking of her in that way, did he? Even when they were separated, when he was dating other women, when she was marrying someone else, he still thought of her as his.

"Has a woman called April Kepner been brought in? Late thirties, red hair?"

The nurse shakes her head. "I don't think so - not that I've seen. I'll check for you."

She scurries away, but before Jackson can follow or try to ring April again he's stopped and asked for a consult, and then another, and another, and then he gets pulled into a surgery and loses all track of time.

The whole way through he's repeating silently, Please, God. Please let her be okay. Please let me get another chance. I promise I won't waste this one.

His faith still isn't as strong as April's, he doubts it ever will be. Half the time he's not even really sure what it is he believes in. But it's comforting to pray, whether anyone's listening or not.

When he's finally finished and comes back out into the corridor, he immediately pulls his phone out. It's been nearly five hours, and there's still nothing from April. He wants to scream.

And then -

"There's no signs of internal bleeding, but get a CT scan just to be sure."

He spins round, his heart in his throat. April's just coming out of a patient room with an intern; she's in jeans an a tshirt instead of scrubs, dirt and what looks like splashes of blood staining them, her hair scraped back and a band-aid on her forehead, but she's alive and whole and the most beautiful thing Jackson's ever seen.

"April?"

"Jackson, there you are!" Her face lights up as she turns and sees him. Relief crashing over him, he starts running towards her. "I tried to find you but they said you were in surgery. I came with one of the -"

He cuts her off by pulling her into his arms and soundly kissing her. How she got here doesn't really seem to matter any more, just that she is here and uninjured.

She lets out a little sound of shock, and then melts into him the way she always has, her hands coming up to clutch at his scrubs. The feel of her lips is achingly familiar against his, and he rains kisses down on them, one after another, trying to make up for every time he should have kissed her but didn't. And his heart sings as she lifts herself up on tip-toes and kisses him back, meeting each stroke of his mouth with one of her own.

Finally he pulls back, but only enough to rest his forehead against hers.

"You weren't answering your phone," he says quietly.

"I was doing triage at the scene, and then the battery died. I'm sorry."

"You're alright?"

"Totally fine. I promise."

For the first time since he saw the notification on his phone, he starts to relax.

"Dr Avery?" Glancing up, he sees the nurse he was talking to earlier at the end of the corridor. "You found your wife, then?"

Jackson looks down at April, who's smiling knowingly up at him, a warmth in her eyes that gives him the confidence to reply, "Yeah. Yeah, I did."

kiss prompts

[silviakundera]

I'm gonna need kunning palace to give me a lot of the main otp in the last episodes, we have 8 left (this is why I don't f*ck with this 40 ep rule because now that we're getting the main relationship the show is over and everything that came before was also necessary). I'm gonna need to see how deep JXN's love for him becomes, I know people are obsessed with dedicated ML but I enjoy otps where it's more equal and I love seeing a female lead protect and support her otp the way he does her, even if it takes a while like in ming lan she had completely reasonable issues and took a while to warm up to him but when she did she was 1000% in and showed just how much she loved him, I personally don't appreciate unbalanced relationships where it's just one party sacrificing and being a lot more dedicated no matter the genders.

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS WARNING MAJOR SPOILERS

Hard to say, depends on how close they stay to the book. They've been quite faithful to the novel so far but at the point we are now is where I feel fairly confident that we're gonna diverge. Because in the novel the otp gets VERY dark before they get better. There's a reason why Xie Wei has been holding himself back & restraining his emotions. He's a whole mess of anxiety & PTSD and he has to work through his traumas. Both these characters have been a burningdog.gif meme and saying everything is just fiiiiiiiine but in the novel when they finally get alone on center stage together things get REAL because it's masks off. And underneath they are a whole mess.

imo the key to this pairing, and why we don't get a love confession from her until the very end, is what she thinks when she finally publically claims him (fittingly, she doesn't claim the lauded scholar but the unhinged figure that the public now finds monstrous):

Shen Zhiyi asked: "Ning Ning, do you know what kind of person he is?”

Jiang Xuening said, "I know."

This person forced her to kill in his previous life; even in this life, he still thought about taking her to die with him. He is definitely not a good person. How could she not know?

It can even be said that she knows better than anyone else. Because she has seen his truest and craziest side.

Shen Zhiyi asked again: "Do you like him?"

Jiang Xuening thought for a while and said, "I like him."

At this moment, Xie Wei's palm trembled slightly, but there seemed to be thousands of lights and shadows passing by in his mind, and finally there was nothing left, just staring at her blankly.

Yan Lin stood too far away, no one could see his blurred expression clearly.

Shen Zhiyi also didn't speak for a long time.

She didn't fully agree, she was afraid that her Ning Ning would be sad because of the wrong choice, but she couldn't stop her, and all her worries finally turned into one sentence: "Then you really know what you are doing now?"

Jiang Xuening smiled at her: "I understand."

And not only know what to do now, but also what to do in the future.

So calmly: "I want to marry him."

"..."

That night, he asked her once, but she didn't answer, so he never dared to ask again.

But now she says she wants to marry him. Xie Wei suddenly couldn't tell whether this was real or a dream: didn't she want to leave him and go find Zhang Zhe?

Jiang Xuening also saw that he didn't comprehend. "You are really, extremely smart, but you just don't like people."

Talking about love, this person is stupid to death.

I am too afraid of losing what I have, and I seem to think that what I have will eventually be lost, so I am paranoid, extreme, and I refuse to show weakness to others and say all those words.

Jiang Xuening felt that this person was too similar to her previous self.

There are some things that I don't understand, so I bash my head against it.

She blinked, with tears in her eyes, but took his hand, tiptoed to kiss his cool thin lips."

//

Part of the reason she feels so deeply for him is their deep down similarity, but the novel is Jiang Xuening's journey to love & accept herself, letting go of the pain & shame from the past. She doesn't reach this point until the end, where she recognizes and accepts her own darkness and thus his, and also believes it doesn't need to define their future. Everyone now thinks she is the saint and he's the sinner but she knows they are both.

The novel epilogue shows they are finding a peaceful life together, the urge to fight and claw at life and each other has finally passed. But though in the last 30% of the novel we get tons of couple-time, all the gestures of devotion are coming from him. She's not ready. I frankly have no idea how much the drama will change the last 30%, and it won't land the same cause I'm sure they have to tone down how scary the ML gets...but regardless I do think we won't get a confession until the last act.

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

[surfinminho]

Kinktober day 9- Age gap w/ Felix

⤷ warnings: fem!reader, dom!Felix, unprotected sex, oral(m), cumming in mouth, sex while otp(?)

⤷ word count: 1,38k

⤷Taglist : @greysweaters-blog @hannie-bees @ashydoinwhat @chansbabygirlsstuff @hiddlestandom @stanskzsstuff @mal-lunar-28 @leeracha @linos-kitten @bonateukna @ihrtlix

⤷ permanent taglist: @iadorethemskz

*please dm me if you want to be added or removed from the taglist.*

(Reader is 22 Felix is 34)

this was wrong, you knew it but you couldn't help it. He was the CEO of some big company and you were simply a secretary.its not ideal for you to date the "big guy" of the company. If anyone found out you were at high risk to lose your job.

It was almost like a ritual, every year the company would have something like a party to celebrate all the achievements and new workers for that year. You were supposed to start working the next day yet still being invited to go. What's the harm in going?  The email you got said your boss is 'Mr.Lee'. You've heard not alot of people get to even see him let alone work alongside him. You were estatic to say the least.

When you get to the place, it was packed. You maneuver your way through the abundance of people towards a seat in the corner, you weren't much of a talkative or outgoing person so sitting in the corner on your phone was perfect for you.

Towards the end of the night, you find yourself in the hallway pressed up against the wall, felix kissing you like he's never kissed anyone before.

When you walked into a hallway, getting lost. Maybe it was because you had one to many drinks to have or maybe you just need some dick. You turned the corner to see a man, couldn't be older than 35 leaning against the wall legs crossed and his phone in his hand. When you look closer you realize it's the CEO, lee Felix. Besides the meeting you had with him a few weeks ago, you never really met him or officially "met".

He looks up from his phone when he heard footsteps. "Ah, __! Nice to see you again." He held out his hand to meet yours, keeping a firm grip on your palms.

"How do you like this so far?" He puts away his phone walking towards you.

"Oh! It's great, though I'm not one to, put myself out there you know?" You laugh at him before trying to get to your destination.

As soon as you take a step his hand stops you "I want to properly talk to you, like a conversation." he smiles, lighting dragging you back towards the wall he was leaning on.

You guys ended up talking for God knows how long. Talking about any random thing that comes to mind.

You come to find out that he's a really sweet person. Talking about his other friends who work in different departments, and stuff he does for his sister's. He was such a gentleman.

"You're such a pretty girl __, did you know?"

"I am?" You cock an eyebrow, confused at the sudden statement.

"Prettiest girl I've ever seen" he leans in, head tucked into your neck. With every breath he takes you feel the hairs on you back rise. You try and ease away from the situation, but with no where to move hence your back against wall. You find him gorgeous, obviously. He looks like a fucking angel in all the photos you see, nonetheless when his front is pressed up against yours.

"This dress is gorgeous on you, where'd you get it?" His voice drops an octive, rubbing you sides.

"Oh, it's a gift! I almost feel bad since it's a really expensive brand." It was a gift, so you didn't lie. From your friend you happens to model. They received a dress but it was the wrong size, leading them to give the dress to you.

"Really now? What brand baby" he cups your ass over the dress.

"Louis Vuitton" you look around to see if anybody is near or passing by.

"Let me buy you every dress in this color."

The statement caught you odd guard. Buy you stuff? Your friend never told you what the price of the dress was, in the hopes that you wouldn't return it. But you found it anyway, the price shocking you. 1 million dollars. You wouldn't have taken it if you knew. So having him say that he wants to buy you more?

"No, there's no need really!" You laugh trying to avoid to conversation.

"But I want to. C'mon let me spoil you."

__________________________________________

You found yourself inbetween his legs making out with him. You didn't want to let him buy you things, but you couldn't help but stay with him. Not because of his money, but because of his personality. He was a sweet soul, always being a gentleman. You like to think him giving you stuff is just a extra.

"let me please you" he whispers inbetween kisses, slipping down your straps of your tank top.

"I- we have work in like 30 minutes, w-we can't?"

"We shouldn't." He corrected "but I want to. Please baby? I'll call out sick for both of us" you wanted to, but you felt guilty for keeping him from his job.

"Okay."

He starts pulling down your pants, keeping your panties on.

He traces his thumb over the wet patch forming on your panties.

"Such a naughty girl. Getting this wet because of what? Some kissing? Pathetic."

He goes back to kissing your neck, going downwards until he reaches your breasts.

Your breath hitches,  waiting for him to do something.

He doesn't pull the loose fitted clothing off, instead sucking on whatever was available.

He pulls down his pants with one hand, other hand hold you still.

He pulls his pants and boxers down just enough to free his cock.

He nudges the tip on your clit trying to make you moan.

"I'm gonna give you the phone. Call and say you wont be available to come into work today."

You looked at him like you were seeing double. "You're joking?" You try to get him to laugh or even let out a little giggle but you get nothing.

"Do I look like I'm joking? Call them now." He's rubbing tip slowly along your folds.

"Im waiting I dont have all day."

You dial the number waiting for the person on the other end answers. As soon as they pick up Felix thrusts all the way into you.

He leans forward, elbows balancing up.

"Put it on speaker"

You remove the phone from your ear and put it on speaker, resting it on your side.

"H-Hello, yes good morning"

The other person on the line seems to be too happy for their own good.

"Good morning! How are you today" you can tell there is a smile lacing their face.

As soon as you begin to speak, his thrusts begin to quicken in pace. Hips barely meeting your thighs.

"A-ah yes about that, I am not feeling w-well today so I won't be able to make it fuck" he brings his hands to start rubbing figure 8s on your clit

"Sorry, what was that last part?"

"N-nothing!"

"Hm, okay. Well hope you feel better. Have a nice d-."

You didn't even wait for them to finish their statement, hanging up the phone immediately.

"Maybe kitten needs a reward. Did so good following directions right?"

"Y-yes please." you whine, trying to get him to move faster.

He flips you over, grabbing your hips before he starts to pound into you.

"S-such a tight fucking pussy. Only for me right?"

You nod Into the bedsheets unable to say anything.

"Words kitten"

'y- a-ah shit" he reaches over to your breasts, pinching your nipples.

"Baby, you're cumming, how can I move when you're clenching down on me like that" he grabs your hips pushing them off of his cock.

"Wanna cum in your mouth"

He proceeds to manhandle your body to get you in a kneeling position.

"Open." You stick your tongue out, waiting for him to feed you his cock.

He slides only the tip in when he starts jerking it off.

"Such a good girl hm? Making me use your holes like these"

You looked up at him and started to gently suckle on the tip.

"s-shit gonna cum in your mouth. You want it right."

You tried to nod your head but he shoves his cock down your throat.

"Then fucking take it"

[harrowharkwife]

camilla or pyrrha for the character ask meme!

THANK YOU EMMA FOR GIVING ME AN EXCUSE TO TALK ABOUT CAMMMM MY GIRL.... CAMILLA DARLING

favorite thing about them: where do i even fucking start. her skill, and strength. her wit, she's so goddamn funny. her resolve. her bravery. the quiet ferocious intensity with which she loves and cares about people. as tragic and troubling and fucked up as it is in canon, i find her perennial tendency towards pair-bonded dysfunctional codependency to be. ALARMINGLY relatable. i love her flat affect. i love her observational skills- she's clever, and perceptive. i may or may not have an enormous crush on her. i love her loyalty and devotion. i love (read: hate) her tendency to deflect any and all important personal questions. i love that she doesn't let go. i love her love for spreadsheets and sharp knives and sensible shoes and sketching. i love her impeccable bedside manner. i love her and her letters and her cassette tapes and her fuckass bob and her smile that makes the earth want to marry her and i love her slate-clay eyes and her laugh. i love that she fought like her heart had already exploded.

least favorite thing about them: i mean, with camilla this question is really more of a "most concerning things about them," isn't it? her codependency, her lack of individuation and independence, her refusal to develop her own identity and exist as her own person. which, like, from one autistic bitch to another, girl i Get It. if i could get away with making myself a satellite accessory to another person instead of having to figure out how to be a person myself, if my society had groomed me to do exactly that from birth, yeah, i would probably do the same thing. being a person is fucking exhausting. but it's also so, so worth it, and it breaks my fucking heart that cam never had the chance, and that the people in her life by and large never encouraged her to really try. we do see pal pushing her on it a little here and there from time to time, and i appreciate that, but it was clearly never enough to stick, y'know? i hate how self sacrificing and selfless she is, i wish fandom at large would talk more about her depression, i want to give her wellbutrin and a hug and therapy.

favorite line: too many to choose. life is too short and love is too long. i don't let go, it's my one thing. sure, it's a nice handkerchief. i think there's another teaspoon full of blood in here somewhere. camilla hect fought like a grease fire. the cohort has taken the rest of him away and i don't know where they've put him.

brOTP: gideon, though i am a lover of the cam/gideon agenda! also nona, and palamedes.

OTP: dulcie, but i also love campyrrha, in like a mutually sorrowful toxic cathartic cav4cav grief sex sorta way.

nOTP: idk that i have one? i'm not really into cam/corona the way some people are

random headcanon: autistic like i mentioned earlier. i think she'd love cats

unpopular opinion: personally speaking I'm not a shooter for the aro/ace cam agenda, though i don't have anything against it!!! I've definitely seen it done in fascinating and lovely and compelling ways before! it's just not how i personally interpret her, but i think that's literally just a personal grudge on account of being an autistic woman with somewhat flat affect, and having seen fandoms Immediately jump to hit every serious-mannered, autistic-coded woman character that has flat affect with the aroace headcanon stick Immediately and at first blush without interrogating the potential stereotypes and assumptions behind that choice. not saying that that's what people are doing with cam at all, just that it was a general pattern i was observing across fandoms- honestly i see the logic behind it with her, and i don't think it's a "wrong" way to interpret her at all, i think it's perfectly founded! but unfortunately i am just projecting on her and she got caught in the crosshairs of me deciding i had Had Enough and that it was time to draw the "let autistic women fuck" shaped line in the sand and take a political stance 😂 you understand. aroace cam truthers are some of my most beloved comrades in arms. peace and love on planet earth

song i associate with them: EXISTENTIAL CRISIS HOUR! BY KILO KISH. see also: butterfly net by caroline polachek, true blue by boygenius, my friend by hayley williams, ***look at me now by caroline polachek,*** francis forever by mitski, the body is a blade by japanese breakfast, crude drawing of an angel by caroline polachek.

favorite picture of them: im on mobile and also stoned outta my gourd so I'll rb this with some art tomorrow!

ty emma!!!!

[justfandomwritings]

I have been devouring your content for the past few days and let me say: your writing is absolutely AMAZING! The way you write Jake is just chefs kiss. Jake and Addie are my new OTP

That said, I have read everything you have written about these two, the fic and all the OTP questions as well. But I have this very specific itch that will not leave me alone which you kind of touched on in one of your asks. What do you think Addie would be like if Jake got into an accident while flying? Nothing major obvs, but maybe a really bad scare?

No Callsigns

Pairing: Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Female!Reader (Addie)

Word Count: 3.1k (Idk how that happened)

Warnings: whole thing takes place in a hospital, panic attack, character is seriously injured but the injuries are not described in any way, some light angst but with a happy ending

Notes: I'm not sure if this is what you had in mind, but this little scene has been playing around in my head for a long time. This is Addie reacting to Jake being injured, but it's not really an angst heavy introspective of how it makes her feel. It's more how it would play out.

This is a prequel to The Only Thing, but it can be read without reading the only thing. This story takes place before Jake goes to Top Gun the first time as a student but after he becomes a pilot.... Also Featuring Iceman and Coyote because why not.

“Seresin residence, you’ve got Addie.” Addie tucked the phone between her cheek and her shoulder to free up her hands as she turned back to the sauce bubbling away on the stove.

It was Thursday night. Thursday night meant family dinner in the Seresin household, and the girls, Addie included, took turns rotating who cooked. Normally, it would’ve been Ronnie’s turn, but she was back in Austin studying for an organic chemistry final. Which meant it should’ve been Andy’s turn, only Andy was off in New York at a high school friend’s bachelorette party. Which meant it should’ve been Debbie if not for the fact that Debbie’s sister was in town and demanded the two go to the city for the night.

Kate had offered to order the two of them Chinese food so neither had to cook, but Addie had been perusing the Seresin family recipes again and decided it was time to try her hand at Debbie’s world – or at least county – famous marinara sauce.

Things were shaping up quite nicely before the phone began to ring.

“This is Admiral Tom Kazansky, US Pacific Fleet Commander. I’m calling to speak to Miss Debbie Seresin.”

Addie’s back straightened involuntarily. The wooden spoon in her hand slipped lower in the sauce as her grip on it loosened.

“She’s not in at the moment...” Addie didn’t really know what to say. “Can-Can I take a message?”

There was a quiet sigh on the other end of the phone. So quiet she almost missed it. So quiet she almost missed the melancholy coloring its’ tone. “Unfortunately not. Do you know how long until she’ll be back?”

The man’s voice didn’t turn up at the end the way one normally would to indicate a question. It stayed flat and even, like he didn’t have the energy to raise his voice, or perhaps more likely that the words were too heavy, too weighed down to be lifted up in any way.

“W-What happened to Jake?”

It wasn’t a question she was supposed to ask. Addie knew that. She’d had that talk with Jake before.

If something happened to him, she would have to find out from Debbie. The Navy didn’t exactly recognize ‘besties’ as a category for immediate disclosure. If he got hurt… or worse, the Navy would call his mom until he had a wife or kids.

“Pardon?” The high-ranking admiral on the other end of the line was, no doubt, not used to being questioned.

Addie wasn’t supposed to ask, wasn’t supposed to cause a scene, wasn’t supposed to stick her nose in. Jake had made it very clear that, much as he wanted them to tell her, much as he didn’t want her to find out second hand or have to wait for news, much as he loved her, the Navy would make her wait. She would have to wait, not on him, never on him, but certainly on them.

But Addie couldn’t help it. When Jake told her all those things, told her that if she ever got a call she would have to get ahold of his mom, told her that she shouldn’t barrage whoever called with questions, told her that she would have to get any news after the fact, told her to be on her best behavior if something really bad ever happened and someone important made the call… When he told her that, he’d never been on the receiving end.

He’d never felt his throat close up knowing that best case scenario she was in an ICU bed somewhere. He’d never gone weak in the knees when someone told him they could neither confirm nor deny that she was dead. He’d never spent hours waiting by a phone with the news blasting over loud speakers knowing she was going into a combat zone where she could be killed any second, knowing the six o’clock news might be told before him.

Jake had never gotten a phone call from someone telling him she was dead or dying, and he would never have to worry about getting that phone call, not really. And she knew without a shadow of a doubt that if their roles were reversed he would be so much worse.

“You’re a Fleet Commander; you wouldn’t be calling un-unless some-something really bad happened to Jake.” She felt out of breath, like she’d run a mile. Maybe it was the way her throat felt like she was breathing through a straw.

“Ma’am I’m not at liberty to discuss that with anyone other than Lieutenant Seresin’s next of kin.”

There was a loud crack followed by the sound of breaking glass. The salad bowl, balanced on the kitchen island behind her toppled to the ground and shattered as she stumbled back.

Next of kin. He was looking for Jake’s next of kin.

Addie gasped for air. “Is he alive?” Her words came out in a pant.

“Ma’am…”

She didn’t hear any more than that as Kate burst into the room.

“Addie, what’s…”

Addie was hyperventilating now. A hand on the island behind her, gripping the granite so hard her nails were cracking under the pressure, was all that kept her from sinking to the ground, unintentionally kneeling in the shattered glass around her.

Her hand pulled the phone away from her ear and waved it blindly in Kate’s direction as she desperately tried to catch her breath, tried to steady her shaking legs, tried to calm herself down.

“Who is this?” Kate’s tone was demanding, accusatory as she snatched the phone away from Addie. There was a brief pause as Kate’s face contorted. She clearly wasn’t getting the answer she wanted, or an answer at all.

“This is his sister, Kate. Now tell me who is calling, and why does Addie look like she’s having a panic attack?”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Addie?”

Addie’s head jerked up at the sound of the name.

It was a pilot calling her. She recognized him immediately. One of Jake’s friends, the only Navy friend of Jake’s she’d met so far.

“Coyote, right?”

Coyote nodded and crossed the room in long, sure strides to stand beside her chair. There were seats open all around her, but he didn’t make a move to occupy any of them. He stood, feet shoulder-width apart, hands tucked behind his back. There was no rocking or shifting to his stance like there would’ve been a civilians, no pacing or show of emotions. He was soldier.

“Your Jake’s wingman?” Addie pulled her legs up into the seat with her, hugging them against her chest as she stared up at the man standing over her.

“Yes ma’am,” Coyote wasn’t looking down at her. He was looking straight ahead at some unknown point on the waiting room wall.

“Please don’t call me ma’am. You can call me (Y/n), or Addie, whatever you prefer.” Addie sighed, slumping back in the chair to stare up at the ceiling. “I’m not old enough to be called ma’am. Jake calls me ma’am when he says I’m being a buzzkill.”

“From the stories Jake tells me, ma’am, that can’t be often.”

Addie’s eyes flashed back from the ceiling, just for a second, to see the corner of Coyote’s lips tugging up. He suppressed it well, but the amusement was still there. “You’re not much of a buzzkill either from what he tells me.”

“I try not to be.”

There was an amicable silence for several long moments. Coyote standing vigilant, staring at the wall behind her head, Addie tracing patterns in the ceiling with her eyes.

It was Coyote who broke it. “Are they… not allowing visitors yet?”

“They let his mom and Kate back about ten minutes before you got here.” Addie quickly corrected. “Two at a time. I let them go first.”

“Would you mind if I came in with you?” Coyote’s tone was constantly polite, deferential. It fit with the military man she knew he was, but she couldn’t reckon it with the stories Jake told her about his friend who seemed like absolute mayhem. “I know you’ll want some time alone with him. I’ll only need a minute. I just need…”

Coyote’s voice fell away, choked on a word Addie wasn’t sure which. It drew her eyes back from the ceiling, tilting her neck down to a more reasonable angle to look at his face.

Coyote’s gaze finally left the wall. It was like watching him pull himself together, draw up the courage to meet her gaze not that that made any sense. “It’ll only take a minute. I need to thank him, ma’am.”

“Thank him? What for?”

Coyote visibly swallowed, his adam’s apple bobbing in his throat, but he made no other display of emotion even as he said, “Because, ma’am, I would be dead right now if he weren’t in that bed.”

A dawning realization crossed Addie, her jaw going slightly slack. “The medal… You’re the pilot he...”

“Yes ma’am.”

Addie gave a thoughtful nod. Much as it hurt her, pained her, filled her with overwhelming dread to think of Jake lying cooped up in a hospital bed, Commander what’s-his-name had painted a marvelous tale of heroism for Debbie once she finally returned home, and he told her the story.

And now she had a face and a name to put to the ‘fellow aviator’ whose life Jake had saved. A face she knew, a name she liked, a nice guy with his whole future ahead of him because of Jake’s skill and sacrifice.

“Of course,” Addie choked out, “you’re welcome to come in with me.”

“Thank you, ma’am.” Coyote’s head turned back up to face the wall. He was only staring at it, and she was only staring at him, for a minute more before the doors behind him swung open.

“Addie, sweetie,” Debbie crossed the room in a flash of worry seeing yet another Navy uniform standing in front of one of ‘her own’.

“Debbie, this is Coyote,” Addie jumped straight to introductions even before she made it to her feet. “He’s going to come inside with me to see Jake for a minute if that’s alright. He is Jake’s wingman.”

Kate approached behind her mother, sticking out her hand to the aviator, “It’s Javy, right?”

“Yes ma’am.”

Debbie hugged Addie, ignoring Kate as she seemed ready to vet Coyote before allowing him entrance. “He’s doing a lot better than he looks,” Debbie whispered in Addie’s ear, hiding her voice in the tones of Kate and Coyote’s polite small talk in the background. “Really, the doctors say he’ll be his usual handsome self in no time and back to flying in a couple months. Don’t worry yourself to death, okay sweetie?”

“I’ll try not to.” Addie’s tone was as clipped as she felt.

Debbie pulled out of the hug and jerked her head towards the door. “Get on in there; you look like you’re barely stayin’ in your skin you wanna leave so bad.”

Addie nodded. She clearly wasn’t doing a very good job of hiding the fact that she was ready to bolt.

“They made Jake sign a couple waivers for you,” Kate added before Addie could leave. “But it should all be sorted out now. They all know you’re staying the night and to talk to you.”

“Thanks Kate.”

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“Jake,” Addie’s voice broke on his name as she froze in the doorway.

‘He’s doing a lot better than he looks.’

He didn’t look good.

Hospital gown slung low around his neck with wires running down under the fabric, needles poking from IV bags into one arm, head lulled back against a pile of uncomfortable looking pillows, an oxygen mask hanging loose around his neck, and a bag partially filled with what could only be urine connected to a tube that ran up under his thick pile of blankets.

The air was filled with the smell of chemicals and the constant beeping of a heart monitor.

“Addie,” Jake croaked out. His voice was rough, deep and crackling as if he’d been screaming nonstop for days which she knew he hadn’t.

Addie couldn’t help it. She flung herself across the room to his bedside. She’d not said a word about waiting for Debbie to get back from the city to find out what had happened. She’d not said a word while they waited in the airport for the first plane out to the base. She’d not said a word waiting for the taxi to the hospital. She’d even held herself back to let his family see him, knowing she wouldn’t be able to leave once she was in the room.

But now that she was in the room she couldn’t hold herself back. She balanced herself on the free inch of space at the edge of his bed and gave in to the absolute panic and desperation that had been warring quietly inside of her since the moment she managed to swallow them down in his family’s kitchen.

One of her hands reached across his body and clutched his left hand in a vice grip. It was almost the only inch of skin free of any signs of what happened. Her other went straight to his cheek, cupping it in her hand as the tears finally began to fall.  

“When that admiral called I thought for sure you were dead.” She didn’t sob. Her voice was soft, calm, and unwavering even despite the tears. “I was so scared. I broke your mom’s favorite bowl. I couldn’t form a sentence; Kate thought I was in shock.”

Jake sighed and leaned his cheek into her hand. The rough cuts and scratches to the skin there brushed against her palm and reminded her that every part of him would be effected by this in some way. “You’re gonna have to try a little harder if you wanna get rid of me, darlin’.”

Addie smiled through the tears and leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss, barely more than a brush of her lips, to his forehead. “Noted, next time I’ll do it myself.”

“I always knew you’d be the death of me.”

Addie chuckled and turned her face into his neck. Her temple brushed against his shoulder, and Jake winced. “Sorry.” She pulled back immediately.

“It’s alright, Addie,” Jake smiled up at her. Even his smile was scarred. His lip split in more than one place along it’s usually silky smooth lines. “Having you here makes up for it.”

“Well in that case, you should know I brought a friend.”

“Why the fuck would you do that?” Jake tried to laugh but immediately winced at the motion shaking his chest, “I only wanna see you.”

“I know,” Addie conceded easily and without any show of false modesty, “but I think you need to see him too.” Her fingers went to his hair, absently brushing the sweaty, greasy flyaways out of his face as she glanced back over her shoulder.

Coyote stepped in from where he’d been standing in the doorway. Jake’s senses, usually razor sharp, hadn’t so much as gotten a whiff at the other pilot. Whether that was due to his current state or the all-consuming peace that visibly washed over him the moment Addie walked in the room, no one could be sure.

“Hangman, I…”

“You don’t get to call him that here.”

It came out with more bite than Addie meant it to. She hadn’t intended it to have any at all, in fact. She’d only meant to say it matter-of-factly, but the emotions boiling up inside her simply could not be contained when she heard that callsign, that word.

“It’s fine, Addie.”

“No it’s not.” Addie looked to the floor to try to hide the glare that was forming in her eyes, but her words didn’t need an accompanying glare to convey how upset she was. “His name is Jake, and he wouldn’t be here if he hung you out to dry.”

“Addie…” Jake’s tone was placating.

“She’s right,” Coyote cut him off. “I’m sorry… Jake, I came here to thank you not insult you.”

Jake looked up at Coyote, utterly shocked. They were friends, certainly, but no one, not even his friends, had batted an eye when his squadron assigned him his callsign. No one batted an eye using it every day. No one ever questioned if he deserved it.

“You saved my life today, Jake, and I can never repay you for that.”

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Addie couldn’t lay down with Jake in the hospital bed, much as it would have been both of their preference.

The nurses had spotted her sitting back against the pillows with him in the early evening hours and immediately put a stop to that and any other notions of Addie getting on the bed.

Instead, she’d shuffled the uncomfortable plastic couch in the corner up against the bed in what she was sure was a safety violation but could not have cared less at that moment in time.

The couch was much lower than the bed, but it was close enough that she could curl up and still reach a hand up to hold Jake’s.

“You didn’t have to do that today, Addie.” Jake murmured into the absolute stillness of the night.

The rest of the floor seemed to be asleep, even the beeping of his heart monitor had seemingly faded to a background drone. They were, at that moment, in the silence of the hospital and the darkness of the night, the only two people in the world.

“Yes I did,” Addie countered in a similarly quiet voice.

“Addie, they call me Hangman for a reason.” Jake gently pushed back. “I don’t like to admit it any more than you, but I earned that name. I hang them out to dry in training every day, and if it came down to it in a fight I probably would hang them out then too.”

“You didn’t though,” Addie reminded him quietly. “When the cards were down, you risked your life to save his.”

“And I almost didn’t make it.” Jake didn’t need to remind her of that. The awkward position holding hands through the railing of his bed did a fine job of that. “When I did it, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. How you met Coyote, how you liked Coyote, how you joked that the two of you would be really good friends one day… and I thought… I thought, ‘I have to go for it.’ For you.”

Addie’s hand tightened her grip on his, giving him a reassuring squeeze, “Well, that’s… morbid.” She propped an elbow on the back of the couch and lifted her head just over the edge of the bed to give Jake a teasing smile, trying to lighten the mood, “I guess I’m just only allowed to meet friends you’d be willing to die for.”

[yukidragon]

Sunny Day Jack - Reincarnation Headcanons

It’s been a while since I’ve gone on a proper ramble for Sunny Day Jack, so let’s start getting the ball rolling again with some good old shameless OTP self-indulgence, shall we? I have no idea how long my momentum will last, but I’m going to do my best to have fun and see where things take me.

I just loved the script teaser for the upcoming demo update that got publicly posted over on the SnaccPop Studios Patreon. It really got me thinking, and one line in particular intrigued me.

Jack: I can’t explain it, but I know this feeling. I've felt it before. I just can’t remember where...

This really gives me strong vibes that Joseph did have someone he loved before he died… and it really makes me keen to think that MC is his reincarnated lover. Or at least they remind him of a love he lost when he was murdered. This could also be a narrative parallel with the way MC used to(?) love Ian. It’s hard to say at this point.

Regardless, this did make me immediately think of my own MC Alice’s previous incarnation, Mary, who I first mentioned in a previous ramble. I also wrote about her in this very spicy two-sided first-person story, as well as a little snippet about Mary’s potential sweet reunion with Joseph after they were separated for years.

Content Warnings: this post will have mentions of death, trauma, bullying, SA, and probably touch on other dark themes. Reincarnation stories, especially those involving murder, tend to have a bit of a dark side after all. I’ll make sure to tread lightly on these topics since the focus is on indulging in a reincarnated soulmates storyline after all. I might also indulge in some spicy thoughts as well, but we’ll see.

As I previously mentioned, I’m still on the fence about whether or not I’m going to go with the reincarnation storyline for Sunshine in Hell, or stick with it being an AU thing. There’s plenty of pros and cons for both routes in my mind, and I’m still not quite decided yet. Though playing with it more in these rambles, reading that teaser, and even seeing other MCs with past incarnations have made me start to lean in that direction.

Though… it’s pretty sad to imagine that Joseph had love in his past… only to forget about it and only remember the persona of Jack that he’s wearing now. Then again, he would no doubt be sad that his lover forgot about him too. It’s not either of their fault of course. Death is a cruel thing that takes away so much…

Still, it would make more sense why Alice would feel compelled to save Jack, not just because she was in a vulnerable place and couldn’t turn away when someone was suffering and she could help him. A part of her would feel this strong sense of longing and nostalgia, a feeling that she had been waiting for this person for such a long, long time…

It also is more reason for Jack to instantly fall in love with Alice. Even if he forgot he was Joseph and anything tied to that life… he still remembered Mary, even if only as a feeling of love. Names, faces, and places aside from the lore of Sunny Day Jack were erased, but there was only ever one person who made him feel truly loved, and she found him again, just like she did before. He might not remember it, but a part of him wished for her to find him again for 40 long years.

Naturally, with a reincarnation storyline, that means that memories of the past would inevitably return. How much and how quickly are up for debate, but most likely it would be a gradual process for both of them.

It would be interesting if Alice remembered everything first. After all, Jack is practically traumatized by the idea of being Joseph. He doesn’t want to remember being that person who made so many mistakes and was so flawed. This is especially true if his death involved horrible secrets being revealed about him… secrets he never wanted Mary to know that he feared would ruin things between them forever.

Joseph would never have told Mary about his time as a bully, or why he ran away from Haberdae High. He couldn’t forgive himself for what he did, couldn’t see anyone being able to ever love someone who did something so horrible. He couldn’t let his past mistakes ruin things. He couldn’t lose her, not after he finally found her again. He wanted to be a better person for himself and for her.

Mary hated bullies, and Joseph had become the worst of the worst of them. Even if she hadn’t been his victim personally, he knew how she felt about bullies, how the damage they inflicted on someone never truly disappeared…

Having his ugly past revealed before her and the entire world in the worst way possible was no doubt soul crushing.

If the two of them had more time together, Mary could have helped Joseph open up about the things he was ashamed about and eventually forgive himself for his past mistakes, but he died at the worst possible time. It’s all the more reason why he can’t handle being Joseph anymore.

I’d have to consider all the implications of Alice remembering being Mary and if Jack would remember enough to be terrified of that idea. After all, if she remembers, sure she remembers the good moments, but she would also remember when his mask was ripped off and revealed the ugly person he was underneath. In that case, he would try to stop it from happening, deflect and avoid, terrified to let the past resurface while trying not to remember it himself.

Of course Sunshine in Hell is a story of two broken people healing and opening enough to expose their scars in order to heal. Alice would help Jack trust that he can be flawed, he can make mistakes, and she’ll still love him. It’ll take time, but eventually he’ll learn to stop hating the person he was and accept that he was always worthy of love.

While pondering possibilities, I also thought of the classic reincarnated transmigrator stories that are especially popular in the webcomic scene. The idea of Mary being reborn into her favorite story as the “villainess” Alice gives me a little chuckle. Though that’ll be an AU for another post.

Anyway, I considered how much Alice remembers of being Mary and when it started. Many reincarnation stories have the MC remember all at once when they’re young, sometimes even as a baby. That certainly wouldn’t be the case for Sunshine in Hell, since the more I thought about it, the more I knew that it would change the story, particularly when it comes to Alice and Ian’s relationship.

If Alice remembered her past life before she met Jack, it would be a painful gut punch, to say the least. There would be a strong feeling of dissociation. This life is so different from her past one, and Joseph isn’t there. It would give this feeling of not really being sure of who she was or if she should really be there. Does she deserve this life?

Then of course there’s the problems of remembering life as an adult while being stuck in a child’s body and all the issues that come with that.

Still… Mary always longed for a family who actually loved her, and Alice has that. It would be impossible for her to resist wanting to be Alice with her whole heart, to be surrounded by such love in a way she only experienced with one person. The only thing missing would be Joseph. A part of her would feel guilty about being happy without him.

But… if she was reborn, then Joseph must have been too, right? Would he remember her? How would she find him in this vast world?

Though… she did it before didn’t she? On a lonely road in the middle of nowhere, far from their old homes, somehow she found him. Even though he had changed, she still recognized him immediately. Surely she would find him again in this life too.

Mary didn’t have anyone left at the end of her life, and so she lost hope. Alice, however, has people around her who love her. She has hope and reasons to keep living. She has people who want her to be happy and feel loved, even without Joseph by her side.

So Alice would open her heart to the love all around her and live. She would also hold onto the hope that someday she would find her starlight again, no matter what name he had now.

Ian… is not Joseph. There are parallels in the game’s narrative between him and Jack, but their personalities are way too different. Ian and Alice would become friends, but romance wouldn’t develop between the two. It wouldn’t feel right for many reasons to Alice, especially since he’s just… not her starlight. She would be fond of Ian certainly and want to protect him, but she could only view him as a little brother, especially if she had the memories of an adult while they were still children.

So when poor shy Ian gathered the courage to confess to Alice, she had to gently turn him down. It just wasn’t fair to him, or to her. Maybe someday her heart will move on, but not yet, not until she finds someone who makes her feel love the way Joseph did.

Of course, if Alice remembered later on in her teens after she already had a crush on Ian, that complicates things. Sometimes traumatic incidents make people remember their past life incarnations in these stories. For Alice, her most traumatic incident was when she suffered from SA.

Boy, what an awful time to remember one’s tragic death and lost love, don’t you think?

Alice woke up in the aftermath in pain while remembering even more pain, two overlapping identities warring in her mind even as she has to deal with the fresh trauma inflicted upon her. It took her a while to process what happened to her even without adding the memories of Mary on top of all of that.

One side of Alice feels the pain of losing the love of her life as well as fresh memories of dying slowly all alone, and the other side just lost her innocence after her power and agency were stripped away from her. It would be quite a rough time, and how could she tell anyone about these memories? Who would believe her? They’re too real to feel like just a dream she had due to trauma… but what if she’s wrong? Could trauma be great enough to create memories of an entirely different life in an instant?

Fortunately, Alice has the love of her family to help her through hard times, as well as good friends like Ian to support her. It takes a while for her to really process and accept everything, but she at least knows she is loved.

In this scenario, despite the crush Alice had on Ian, she wouldn’t feel right letting it develop into anything more, especially not when her memories of Joseph and the intense love she had for him would be so much more fresh. She would feel guilty, as though she had cheated on… Ian? Joseph? Both?

Either way, Alice is not in any state to enter into a romantic relationship.

So, hey, Alice might be facing reincarnation trauma and dissociation with her identity in this AU, but she avoids a bad romantic relationship and being cheated on. Poor Ian gets turned down by his childhood friend turned crush, but at least they’re still good friends, even if she’s a bit more distant now after the… incident.

Regardless of the twists and turns remembering her past would take her to the present day, eventually Alice finds the tape. It’s just so compelling. When she sees it’s an episode of the SunnyTime Crew Show, well, there’s no way she could resist it. Just the logo would hit her with painful nostalgia and struggling not to cry in the thrift store. For a moment, she just hugs the tape to herself, remembering all the times she wrote for the show as Mary, watched the filming, and especially the last day they ever filmed… and it leaves her longing for the day she finds her starlight again.

Alice has to watch the tape.

It feels ominous too. The blood red handwritten scrawl of “‘84 Incident” makes Alice think about that incident… but surely that couldn’t be… right? LambsWork Productions destroyed every trace of the show. Surely they would’ve gone scorched earth on any recording of the murder?

Then again, if all the tapes were destroyed… that should have included the one she found in this thrift store…

Alice all but runs back home after buying the tape, not bothering with anything else she was going to purchase that day. Her hands are shaking when setting up the VCR, but fortunately she remembers how to use it. It’s almost muscle memory going through the motions of playing a VHS tape. She can’t peel her eyes away from the screen, holding her breath.

The show starts and… oh the pain from nostalgia is unlike anything else. Jack - her starlight - is there. That familiar dazzling smile shining at her as the episode starts. When he greets her and asks her name, she can’t help but answer him, though she doesn’t notice which name she gives him…

I’ve gone over thoughts of how the deal between Alice and Jack might have gone in previous posts. Seeing Joseph’s death again hurts like hell, but the moment Jack starts to talk directly to her, that’s when her heart really starts to pound.

Needless to say, Alice is just as desperate to save Jack as he is to be saved. The pact is made, and their souls are tied together, making them true soulmates.

Then again they already were even without the deal. ;3

Of course, the trauma of the pact does make Alice forget the agreement they made, but her reaction is very different when she wakes up. There’s a moment where she just has to stare at Jack, smiling gently down at her, greeting her like he used to… and she starts to shake. This isn’t a dream, is it?

Jack innocently replies that of course it’s not a dream. Her pal Sunny Day Jack is here to brighten up her day!

Jack doesn’t expect Alice to practically throw herself into his arms and hug him, but he reacts instantly to embrace her. It’s familiar, warm, wonderful, and everything he could ask for.

“I’m happy to see you too, sunshine,” Jack said with a chuckle.

Unfortunately… Jack is in character. Alice calling him Joseph is like a splash of ice, chilling him to the core and he has to correct her, gently of course.

It’s very apparent to Alice that Jack is shaken up. She tries to explain, talk of their past lives and remembering, and Jack… can’t handle it, burying himself deeply into the character of Sunny Day Jack, insisting he’s not who she thinks he is, trying to skirt away from anything Joseph. He cites off lore of the SunnyTime Crew and Sunny Day Jack that she helped write about the character back when she was on the writing staff.

It’s surreal for both of them, with mixed feelings, but Jack is ever eager to change the topic to something sunnier, to try and be the best and brightest friend known as Sunny Day Jack. Alice learns she can’t push him, at least not right now, but now… she’s left wondering if this is really Joseph… or a memory left in the tape? What if he’s just the character brought to life?

What if she lost her mind?

Still, Alice can’t bring herself to push Jack away, even if it’s a bit painful. Over time she picks up that he is Joseph after all, but he forgot everything.

Is this the result of the tape? The murder? Something else? Alice has to figure out what really happened at the studio that day. At the same time, she has to focus on figuring out where to go with Jack.

Alice wished to see Joseph again, no matter what name he had now, but she never expected something like this.

Still… she’s different now too. She’s not Mary anymore. She might have Mary’s memories, but she also has Alice’s memories, a second lifetime in different circumstances, different choices and experiences. She’s different from who she used to be.

So what does that mean for her and Joseph Jack?

Obviously the shadow of Joseph scares Jack. Alice won’t force him to remember, not when his death and what came after were so horrible. Instead she tries to get to know who he is now and figure out where to go from there.

Alice quickly falls in love with Jack. He’s not Joseph, and yet the important parts of him that she fell in love with are still the same. She sees little things of Joseph in him, but he’s also different at the same time. He’s changed, he’s masking things, but he’s still her silly starlight who never failed to make her smile.

Jack tries to overlook memories Alice stirs up in him, hints of sunshine that looked a bit different, but with the same beautiful blue eyes that always held such warmth. He focuses solidly on the present and enjoying his life now with his sunshine.

Still, Joseph’s habits slowly come back in spite of himself. Alice makes him feel so loved and accepted. He has moments where he slips, and she loves him despite it.

Needless to say, this AU would also have a happy ending. They would also get together much sooner than the main universe. While Alice would be trying to keep a respectable distance to understand who Jack was now as he is without forcing him to be someone he doesn’t want to be anymore or pushing her feelings and memories on him, Jack is a yandere who wants her badly. He’s going to notice her feelings quickly and do everything he can to encourage them.

Since Alice doesn’t have baggage from her toxic relationship with Ian holding her back, and she’s been aching to be with Joseph for so long, it won’t be long before her resolve crumbles. He’s always been so good at seducing her, even while dressed up as a silly clown. He might be wearing a different name and look, but he’s still her starlight, and he always had a knack for making her feel so loved, precious, and irreplaceable.

Jack might have buried his memories, but he’s quick to remember all of the ways he could make his sunshine melt in his arms. There are small hiccups due to her SA trauma as he has to be careful about the triggers she has from that, but he’s patient and gentle with her. He thoroughly focuses on her pleasure and comfort, making sure she feels nothing but safe and loved the entire time.

Needless to say, Alice’s first time in this universe is much more pleasant than it is in the main timeline.

It all feels familiar to both of them, the physical and emotional aspects of making love that they experienced countless times in the past, but the feelings are more intense due to the supernatural connection between them making their feelings bleed into one another. Jack at times is almost overwhelmed by nostalgia, but it doesn’t scare him when they’re making love. The nickname of “starlight” Alice used for him was always familiar, but it didn’t upset him like the name “Joseph” did, not when it’s his sunshine calling him that, saying she loves him, and kissing him so tenderly. She makes sure to call him Jack or starlight even while she’s screaming in pleasure beneath him. She’s careful to avoid old names that bring him pain, focusing on who he is now, taking care not to push him when she senses it’s causing him distress. She cares just as much about his comfort and avoiding his triggers just as he does for her.

That increase in intimacy, both physical and emotional, is the trigger that starts Jack really remembering things as Joseph, but not in a negative way. It’s an addicting feeling, one that’s hard to resist, especially when it feels so, so good and comes with so much pleasure and love.

Still, at some point Jack starts to get those fears of Alice learning… something. He still flees from those bad memories, not even wanting to know what that something was.

But over time… Alice helps Jack accept his past. It takes him a while, but when he’s forced to face it and she reinforces the fact that she accepts him, even the awful things he did back then, that she still loves him… he practically collapses into her arms, crying, just so relieved.

For 40 years he was convinced that the reveal destroyed everything, robbed him of love, and it… didn’t. Alice lets Jack be who he wants to be and accepts the mistakes he made in the past who are a part of the person he is today. She loves him even with all his flaws, and she wants to help him to keep growing to become the person that he wants to be, because he’s always been the person she wants to be with, flaws and all.

It still takes Jack a while to accept his past identity as Joseph, but Alice helps him. She can also relate, as it took her a while to accept her past incarnation as Mary too. It’s something they both can understand intimately. Even if their circumstances for being reborn as new people are different, they both understand each other in a way no one else can, and they help each other navigate what it means to live a new life while being haunted by the memories of a previous one that was less than ideal.

Fortunately, this time, their love story has a happy ending instead of a tragic one.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur

[anxiousnerdwritings]

Hello!! Happy late Christmas! I just love your writing- your soooo talented!! ❤️

I was wondering how the yandere bat boys would react to a (willing) darling being jealous of their "cannon" romantic interest? Like Dick's darling being jealous of starfire or Barbara, Damian's darling being jealous of raven, ect...

...or maybe there's a surprise twist where the romantic interests are also yandere for the darling... and maybe they're not willing to share 😉

I can’t help but imagine that fans of all the heroes ship them with other heroes/heroines (sometimes even the with some of the villains) and the batboys are no exception to this, hence the darling coming across some of the ship/OTP stuff regarding their respective batboy and feeling insecure about it. Maybe they were comfortable with the ‘love interests’ who are the most popularly shipped with whichever batboy but now feel a sense of discomfort when in their presence. Maybe they were even close to said ‘love interest’, more like friends with them but now they can’t help but feel some type of way after seeing everything they’ve seen regarding the ‘love interest’ and their batboy.

Their insecurity and jealousy get the best of them, it would especially weigh on the darling if they themself weren’t a hero or vigilante, able to be out in the field with their batboy and the ‘love interests’. Not only to be able to see the respective batboy and ‘love interest’s’ interactions outside of what they already see and to be able to pick up on what the fans take as more than what it is, but to also be able to connect with their batboy by being a part of the hero and vigilante lifestyle with them.

No matter how much the darling were to try to keep their worries and insecurities to themself, their batboy will find out. There’s not a lot you could keep from them after all.

Dick is pretty close with all his exes but his darling means the absolute world to him and he wouldn’t do anything to mess it up, especially since they are willing. He can come off pretty flirty and that could certainly fuel is darling’s worries but he would never betray them like that, not when he’s already got the bestest thing he could ever wish for (that’s you!). But when Dick picks up on his darling acting a little off, more drawn back and closed off, he knows something’s not right and he doesn’t like it. He’ll try to find out what it is without directly asking his darling, he doesn’t want to set them off or cause them to shut down with him, so he’ll see what he can come up with on his own. He’ll be paying closer attention to you and your behavior. It’s when Kory or Barbara is around that he notices you keeping more to yourself, even when you use to have no problem interacting with and getting along just fine with them before. Once he’s gotten the idea of what’s going on then Dick will sit you down and talk about it. He listens intently while you begrudgingly open up about what’s been on your mind lately. He doesn’t take his attentions off of you for anything and when you’re done talking, probably voicing how stupid you think you sound, he pulls you into a tight hug and just holds you close to him. He’s worked so hard to get you to be where you are with him to begin with, he would never forsake it for anything or anyone. There may have been a past with Kory and Barbara (along with others) but you’re his and he’s all yours now and there’s nothing that could take him away from you. He’ll shower his darling with all the love, affection and spoiling the are more than deserving of. He’ll prove his love to you, every ounce of it but you may not be able to walk for a few days, maybe even a week afterwards.

I could see Dick reaching out to Kory and Barbara for advice on what to do or how to go about talking to his darling, just overall some girl advice. Maybe Kory or Barbara hit him up to ask him about how it went or maybe they had brought it to his attention in the first place. They would particularly be worried if the darling had been on good terms with them only to have started acting a little differently when around them recently. That’s when Dick lets them in on what had been going on, maybe cracking a joke or something about being shared between them and his darling only for Kory or Barbara to joke back that it wouldn’t be him that they wanted. And that they wouldn’t be too into sharing either. Normally that wouldn’t have bothered him if it wasn’t for the the way they said it or the underlying threat to their words. Dick’s ears would perk and he would realize that he’d have to keep his darling real close otherwise Kory or Babs would steal them away from him. Like hell he would let that happen.

Jason is pretty closed off, the only real person outside of Roy, Bizarro, Kory, and maybe Artemis that he felt like he could really try and be himself with was his darling. It took a lot for him to open himself up and bring them into his life, he had been terrified of how they would react, what they would do, if they would leave him but they willingly accepted him and stayed. That was truly the happiest he ever felt. So when his darling suddenly started being withdrawn and staying to themself, Jason was scared shitless that it had finally sunk in and they were preparing to up and leave him. He’d be a little hesitant to confront them, not really wanting to hear the words he’s only ever heard in his nightmares being said for real. But he also knows he just needs to rip the bandaid off, so he confronts you all the while anxiety floods his entire being. He’s mentally and emotionally preparing himself to hear those dreaded words and have one of his worst nightmares play out right in front of him for real, only that’s not what he gets at all. Instead he’s thrown for a loop as you open up about how insecure you’ve been feeling towards Kory or Artemis and how scared you are of him deciding to be with them instead. To say he’s taken aback is an understatement, Jay is completely confused. Albeit, he is relieved that it wasn’t his worst fear but still he was at a loss. Had he done something to make you think that? What could he have possibly done to make you think Kory or Artemis was better than you? Had he not been giving you enough of the attention and love you deserved? What could he do to make this all better? What could he do to make you feel the absolute love and adoration he held for no one else but you? All Jason can do is pull you to him, crushing you to his chest and just clutching you close. God, he thought he was gonna lose you, that he would have to force you to stay but thankfully that wasn’t the case. He was going to show just how much you truly meant to him, so much so that wouldn’t ever question your worth or place in his life again.

I feel like Kory’s or Artemis’ interest/obsession would have been brought up earlier on, probably completely unknown to the darling but Jason was well aware of it. He’d pick up on how much more time and attention Kory was putting into them, how much she constantly wanted to be in their presence. While Artemis would talk about how Jason didn’t deserve the darling, how they needed someone better to take care of them, protect them and love them more than he could. She’d have no problem questioning him and whether he was capable of being what they really needed, or if it was her who should take his place instead and be what the darling could truly count on. Either way, Jason isn’t putting up with it and he will throw hands or pull the trigger. He’s not just going to lie down and let anyone take the best thing in his life away from him.

Tim would pick up on his darling’s behavior pretty quickly. He always watches them out the corner of his eye and is very aware of even the slightest change in them so he’d know something wasn’t right probably before his darling even came to the conclusion themself. Not only would he pick up on something being wrong in general but also what may be affecting them. He’d take up being more outwardly affectionate with them, giving them all his attention and just overall spending more time with them before he confronts them about how they’ve been acting and feeling lately. When you tell him that you’ve been feeling pretty jealous of Stephanie or Cassie recently he can’t help but inquire why. He’s racking his brain trying to think of what he did or when he did it to make you think he would want anything more than a work partnership with either of them. Sure, did he have a past with both girls? Yes, but he had you now and you were all he wanted or needed anymore. You had nothing to worry about regarding Stephanie or Cassie, Tim was all yours and no one could ever come between you and him. But Tim would vow to do better by you, he wouldn’t hold back on showing all his love and adoration for you. You would feel just how much he genuinely and truly loves you, so much so you’ll drown in it all, unable to feel anything other than his love for you.

Now regarding Stephanie and Cassie having their own obsession for Tim’s darling, Tim would be very on edge about it. Just the thought of anyone, let alone people as close to him as Steph and Cassie, taking his darling away from him is enough to give him more anxiety then he’s already got going on. But the thought of his darling being so much happier and better off with either of them is something that would haunt Tim to no end. He’d become insecure himself but he’d do everything in his power to keep his darling away from Stephanie and Cassie, ensuring his darling wouldn’t abandon him for them or anyone else for that matter.

Damian would be similar to Jason in that his darling was one of the few people he felt he could bring his walls down for and open himself up to them. He’s afraid of them realizing how truly damaged he is and deciding to leave him because of it, leaving him alone and heartbroken (not like he’d let that happen). So when he notices them acting unusual, becoming closed off especially towards him, Damian’s immediate thought is that they’re going to abandon him. Something must have finally sunk in or it’s hit them that he’s not worth their time and love anymore. Either way, he’s panicked for what’s about to come but he does the most to keep himself in check cause if you’re going to leave he needs to be quick to act. Damian wait until he’s got you all alone before confronting you but before you can explain yourself he’s already bombarding you with how much he loves you and what all he’s done for you along with other things. How could you think of leaving him when you’ve been the best thing he’s had for the longest time? What did he do to not be enough for you anymore? Did you ever truly love him to begin with? Do you hate him? It would have to take his darling hugging him or kissing him to get him to shut up and once he does they speak up about how they’d been feeling recently, about how insecure they’d become over Raven and his close relationship. Now it’s Damian’s turn to hug/kiss his beloved darling but he’s not doing it so much as to shut them up but out of relief and happiness at the fact that they hadn’t even thought about leaving him. He tells them that he is solely and utterly devoted to them and only them, he couldn’t want for anything more than what they already give him and their mere existence. That he would do absolutely anything for them and that there are already somethings he has done for them that they don’t know about but that’s not here or there. Raven is only a friend and that’s all. His darling is the only beloved in his life and that’s how it will always be. He’d vow to never make them feel like anything less than what they are and they are everything to him. Damian would do anything to prove his complete and utter adoration and devotion to his darling and he is extremely devoted. After everything’s calmed down and the two of you are basking in one another, he would tell you with absolute conviction that if you were to ever leave him, he wasn’t going to give up on you or getting you back. He’s completely serious and you know that but that’s what you love about him.

Damian would feel completely betrayed if he ever knew that Raven was obsessed with his darling and wanted them for herself. Like maybe there could have been some kind of agreement but that’s completely off the table now. He’s well aware of what Raven is capable of but he wasn’t lying when he said he’d do anything for his darling, even if that means putting and end to someone he once called a friend. He wouldn’t want it to come down to that but if it did his darling was of the utmost importance to him and that’s what he would fight for.

[basu-shokikita]

Kloktober 2023 Day 1

Favorite character or OTP

I decided to do both, so here goes this sickeningly fluffy Skwistok drabble from Toki's POV, because he's my favorite and Skwistok is my OTP.

This is my first time participating in this event 🥳 I'll try to do as much days as I can 💪

Golden locks swaying with the wind, dressed in all white like an ethereal being, floating in the skies with a smile that shone like the sun, almost rendering Toki blind.

But, most importantly, the guitar. Playing melodies that had struck Toki’s heart like cupid’s arrow, eternally binding him to the man that seemed more God than mortal. 

And then, sapphire eyes bore into him and Toki could’ve sworn he had found his purpose, then and there. He found himself complete for the first time in his life, finally understood, finally seen. 

Toki smiled, an unfamiliar joy flooding through his body. Pumping like the blood in his veins, spreading through every muscle and reaching his fingertips, bestowing them with magic. 

He never wanted it to end. He wanted to stay there, forever.

With him.

“Toki!” Skwisgaar yelled, waking him from his reverie. “Ams you listkenings?” His guitar was, as ever, resting on his lap.

“Oh!” Toki nodded frantically, almost on instinct. “Yeah, really goods!”

Skwisgaar crossed his arms over his chest, a deep frown marking his features. “I asked if you doughts it was goods enough to be turnsked into a songs.” 

“Oh…” Toki repeated, this time deflated as he looked down with shame. “Sorries…I gots distracteds.”

“No shits.” Skwisgaar gave him a judgemental stare as he fiddled with his guitar some more. After a few seconds, he let go of the strings. “Eugh, guess I gots my answers.” He laid his back against the couch, glaring at the ceiling with resentment. “Dildos.”

“What?” Toki got up from his couch to sit on his legs next to Skwisgaar. “No ways, it ams reallies good!”

Skwisgaar didn’t move,  only side-eyed Toki with disbelief. “You excpeckts me to believes dat, when you couldn’ts even pays attenskions while I was playings it?” 

“Because it gots me thinking about stuffs!” Toki said. “Goods stuff!” When Skwisgaar didn’t seem convinced, he added. “It gots me thinking abouts…us.” 

“Heugh.” Skwisgaar snorted. “Whats?”

Toki smiled. “Ours first meetings.” He clasped one of Skwisgaar’s hands between his, delighting in the way his expression contorted with flusteredness. They were a thing but Skwisgaar still wasn’t used to the physical affection part. “You weres soes amazing…” His fingers laced with Skwisgaar’s softly. “I probablies fells in love with yous back den.”

“Eugh.” Skwisgaar grimaced, feigning disgust even when Toki could clearly see his flushed cheeks. “Toki, dat ams so gays.” Awkwardly, he started fiddling with the guitar again, his blonde hair hiding his face.

Toki pulled away and settled in to watch him go. Amused by the reaction, he thought about how far away the days where he thought Skwisgaar was this sort of untouchable God were. 

Not that any of it made Toki love him any less.

[autumnslance]

Year of the OTP - November 2023 - Missing Scars

(An unusual look at the "De-aging" prompt, perhaps, but Shadowbringers' resolution for the Scions sits with me. 980 words.)

The differences were so subtle, it was difficult to explain. Six years all told had passed, which was not many, but just enough.

In six years in the First, he had watched children and adolescents grow up—had watched Ryne grow up, most importantly. Yet now, looking out over the Toll, local children exactly as he remembered them played in the yards and through the streets of their small frontier town.

Animals too; six years could be quite some time for many a beloved pet or farm animal. In dangerous lands and uncertain areas, six years was an entire lifetime for many. Yet the same dogs and cats scampered through the Toll after their masters.

The external similarities, where he expected changes, were not the only ones, of course. He turned back to the hand mirror and inspected his eye once more.

After his misadventure in the Lifestream, and all that had followed in Coerthas, and then their participation in liberating Ala Mhigo, he just hadn’t taken the time to let it rest and heal. The best he had done, that he could do, for so long was to keep it covered and unused, or at least as little as possible. His depth perception had suffered, and even now he had to practice to get back to using both his eyes, instead of compensating for missing one.

His body’s enforced slumber, tended to by their excellent healing staff, had finally allowed the aetheric damage time to heal. He didn’t see so much as a wisp of aetheric underlay, there was no eye strain, no clouded vision. He had been concerned about that, returning from the First to his own body once again. But the damage was finally healed.

A few other aches and pains he thought he ought to have seemed to have vanished as well; he couldn’t be certain if it was due to the rest, or if their healer team had taken advantage of his soul’s absence to repair some old damages.

Not to mention missing scars; he knew when he had arrived in the First, his mental image of his Self had neglected a few minor ones, or those he did not see and think about often.

Aeryn had noticed. The first time they were together as lovers again, she had noted the differences in his scars; some missing, some new—to her anyroad, there in Norvrandt, and his misadventures over the years he had spent caring for Ryne while missing Aeryn.

He had not asked yet about the changes to his scars again now. The ones they had forgotten, the ones that were now missing—all the evidence of his time in that other realm. Scars were stories, and so he had always been proud of his. Evidence of times he had survived, his years of experiences.

Six years wiped away and lost forever.

He finished shaving, cleaning and packing away his kit, tossing the soapy water. “You look years younger, clean-shaven and with your hair cut” more than one person had told him, in more or less those words. He had, perhaps, let himself go a bit, after Dravania.

After the Antitower.

Aeryn had never minded the stubble and long hair, but Ryne had quietly bullied him into shaving and trimming up. And it had made him look more fitting to be her guardian in the First, rather than a rough wilderness scout.

He turned, and found Aeryn silently watching him now, arms crossed, leaning on the doorway as he stood on the small balcony. “The washroom not bright enough?” she asked.

He shrugged. “That, and I didn’t want to disturb you, sleepyhead.”

“As if I ever mind being woken by you,” she pouted.

“Oh, you mind. I simply know best how to distract you from your ire,” he teased.

She blushed, as he knew she would, tracing her finger down an old scar on his bare chest. “How are you feeling this morning?”

“Fit as a fiddle—though we shall see if Krile agrees, and allows me to train with Radovan yet.”

“Just don’t overdo it, old man,” she joked.

“Oh, don’t you start that again,” he grumbled as she giggled. He frowned, looking down and away in thought. “I do keep forgetting how old I am now. I have to think about it.”

Her fingertip hooked under his chin, turning his gaze back to her lovely gray eyes. “Old enough,” she said gently, pulling him in for a kiss.

He hummed thoughtfully as they broke, leaning his forehead on hers. “There is some time before I’m due to see our healers,” he noted. “Perhaps a private demonstration of just how young and healthy I feel right now is in order.”

“You’re incorrigible,” she murmured, blush tinging her ears now. She traced another scar, still reacquainting herself with his reset appearance.

“That isn’t a no,” he pointed out, slipping his hand under her shirt to touch her skin, fingertips finding a scar that she had earned in the First, that she got to keep, having been there in both body and soul, only five physical years between them now instead of six. It wasn’t much time at all really, and yet—

His thoughts came to a stop as she pulled away, clasping his hand to draw him after her. Her face was very red now, the ease with which her blush appeared ever endearing. “It wasn’t, and there is time,” she said.

Five of those years had been spent missing her. There had been an underlying fear of growing old—worse, growing old without her.

But only a handful of moons had passed in the Source, those years he spent in the First reset, only the memories good and bad remaining. And here she yet was, here they both were, finding what had changed and what remained the same for all those years that had passed in no time at all.